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Ina'lan'ehn Abelas

Summary:

5 years after the Exalted counsel. The Veil has been torn down by Fen’Harel. The whole world was torn asunder. Only elvhen were left. All were immortal now. Now that her world and loved ones are gone, she is lost. The Well her only friend. She now resides in New Arlathan. Fen’Harel might have spared her life, but what was a life without friendship and love? Not a life at all. Solas, despite everything, still loves her. He knows that they cannot be, but he keeps her. Hoping that one day she will forgive him. He makes Abelas, longtime friend and general of his army, help her. If he cannot be what she needs, he hopes that Abelas can. He knows they both have deep sorrows and he wants them both to heal. Abelas, despite everything that has been accomplished, is lost. He has known only duty for so long that he no longer knows what to do now that duty is not needed. His purpose gone. He is shocked when his king and friend tells him that the inquisitor is alive, and even more astonished when he gives him the task of guarding her. He thought that there might have been a threat, that is, until he sees her. It was instant. He knew. Sorrow. How was he supposed to guard sorrow when he himself was sorrow?

Notes:

A bre novena - A deep want
Ir abelas - I am sorry

I hope that everyone enjoys this. I am pretty new to writing so constructive feedback would be appreciated. Thank you.

Chapter Text

Abelas stood in front of his King, his friend, waiting. The summons had not been expected. He was just coming back from patrols through the city, mundane though they were. Conflict had been rampant after the Veil had been torn, although even that had been minimized throughout the last two years. The rebellion, if one could call it that, from the quicklings had swiftly and efficiently been dealt with. Most of the elves, now turned elvhen, once they realized that they were now free had celebrated the return of the Elvhenan. Fen’Harel’s plan had been perfectly executed. Now the only trouble had been the occasional squabble. Gone were the times where there were slaves. Everyone now had a voice.

So, it came as a brief surprise that he should be summoned at all. He knew of no conflicts that should warrant his presence. He could tell that something weighed heavily on his king. Somber grey eyes stared unseeing through him; brows pulled forward in deep thought and mouth pinched in a scowl. No, this was no normal summons.

“My lord,” he spoke, “you wished to speak to me?”

Eyes now steady, his king sighed, “Yes. How has our city faired?”

Now confused, Abelas said, “Nothing out of the ordinary… All has been quiet.”

“Good… that’s, good.”

After a few more moments of awkward silence, his king spoke again, “Abelas, my friend, you have served me well, and before that, you had served Mythal just the same. Your sense of duty and loyalty are commendable. But I wonder… do you have everything you want?”

Shocked and caught off guard, Abelas spoke carefully, “My lord, I’m not sure what you mean.”

Fen’Harel- no; he was Solas in this moment, looked at him full of sorrow, “I have often wondered, my friend, if I have done the right thing.”

Stunned, he waited in silence.

“You know how The People have, and always will, be my duty. But where does duty end?”

There were no words to describe the pain that crossed his friends face.

“So, I ask again, Abelas. Besides your duty, has there been anything you have wanted? A bre novena?”

Alarmed with the turn of the conversation, he spoke, “My Lord- “

“Solas please. We are alone, my friend. There is no need for posturing here.”

“…Solas. I have known no other life that that of duty. First to Mythal. Then to the Well, and now to you…”

“…And?” Solas asked

“…Nothing. Has captured me beyond that of my duty.”

Solas closed his eyes and sighed, “I was once like you. But there was a time, though brief, that almost swayed me from my duty…”

Surprised, he spoke his first though, “…The Inquisitor?”

He gasped when Solas opened his eyes. The pain, guilt and sorrow were so strong he almost stepped back.

“…Yes. Deah was- she was at first a slight annoyance. Then, a mystery. Then… more. Did you know, I almost turned from The People in my blind love for her?”

He was shaken. Solas, Fen’Harel, had loved that shem?

With a knowing smirk, Solas continued, “But, I came to my senses. As much as I loved her, I had a duty to The People. I was selfish. I wanted both, and because of my selfishness, her heart broke. Torn to shreds by the Dread Wolf. Since then she has endured. Lost.”

More silence.

“Even after all this time, after everything that we have been through and everything that I have done, I love her. But I also know that my love is no longer enough, if it ever was. She’ll never have me.”

His mouth hung open, “…She lives?”

Solas scoffed, his irritation apparent, along with his guilt, “…I couldn’t kill her.”

Silence. It felt like an eternity until he spoke again, “Where is she?”

The guilt apparent on his face, the sorrow in his eyes betraying him, Solas spoke, “She is here. In the palace.”

Frustrated, he asked, “And when was I to be informed of the prisoner? Am I not your general?”

Pride tsked, “She is not a prisoner. She has been free all this time.”

Confused again, he said, “I have not seen her. If she is free, then where has she been?”

“Since… since the Veil, she has refused to come out of her quarters. She has but one servant to help her with her various needs but…” he waived his hand in desperate frustration.

“…Ir abelas, my Lord, but I am still confused on why you have summoned me here.”

Solas stared hard at him, his jaw clenched, “I would like you to guard her.”

Sock. He was in shock.

Noticing his friend’s discomfort, Solas released his tension in one exhaled breath, and whispered brokenly, “She has become a shell Abelas. The once shining light that was her spirit is there no longer. She does not speak. She barely eats. She has even blocked me from her dreams. I… do not know what else to do. She will not see me. She will not hear me.”

Silence.

“I know…I know I cannot take back what I have done. And nor do I want to, but I cannot stand her to be this way anymore. What better way than to have sorrow guard sorrow?”

“…So, I am to just… guard her? From who? Does someone want to cause her harm?”

Solas smiled sadly, “Just herself.”

He did not know what to say. How was he to guard someone from themselves?

“If you want to think about this as a duty, the Well still resides in her. If you will not task this request as a friend, then I would like it to be an order to guard the well, if nothing else.”

Surprised, he asked, “She still has the Well?”

“The Well refused to leave her, my friend. We tried to put it back, but they are now one.”

“But that is im- “

“Impossible, I know. But so much of this world has been thought to be impossible. What’s one more?”

Pursing his mouth in concentration, “I will go.”

Solas smiled, albeit sad, “Thank you, my friend. She resides in the far corner of the east wing. Last door on the right.” He then stood slowly, his regal manner coming back to him in slow progress, “I know I can never be there for her. I know I can never love her as she needs. But I hope that, one day, she will forgive me. You are dismissed, Abelas.”

Chapter 2

Notes:

Ir abelas - I am sorry

Atishea ima minera’vun - Peace be with you this night

Thank you to those who have read this. I hope to get better the more I write!

Chapter Text

Abelas stood outside her chamber, contemplating whether he should knock or stride right in. After a fashion he decided that knocking might garner a more polite response.

“My lady, may I enter?”

There was no response. He had expected that. If what his King said was true, then she would not be one to let him know his welcome.

After a minute of waiting he said, “I am entering, My Lady.”

He entered the room and quickly scanned the area. There was no sign of her. On alert, he strode forward and glanced over every section of the room. It looked as though it hadn’t been touched since it was created. The bed had been made, no wrinkles. The floor shiny and waxed. No precious baubles or trinkets. It was a sad room. An empty room.  

Without pause, he went over toward the balcony. The doors were open. As he stepped into the light he paused. She was there. Her small body was wrapped in a thin blanket, light hair shining and loose in the early evening, staring out into the sunset. There was no recognition that she knew he was there. Just silence.

“My Lady, I have been appointed your new guard.”

Silence. Nothing.

“My lady, Fen-“

It was like a switch. One moment there had been nothing, now there was a burst. Her magical aura swirled around her in fury. He noticed her eyes now were on him. Hard. Unyielding. Beautiful. Their emerald hue full of fire. This was not the same woman he had seen all those years ago. Her magic was far more. She was far more. He felt her and the Well. His King had been right. They were now one. Their magic had blended. He felt in her glare the message. He will not make that mistake again.

Ir abelas, My Lady. I will not speak of him, should you not wish it.”

He felt the magic recede, felt her gaze sharpen even further. What must she be thinking? She was more open before. He remembered feeling her through her aura at the Well those years ago. Bright. Brighter than anything that he had seen since before the fall. Since his first master, Mythal lived. It was one of the many reasons he didn’t stop her from the Well, quickling though she was at the time. The Well knew too. He could feel its curiosity at the strange creature that was near it. But now, there was nothing. Just a steady, desolate aura. She was now like him. It saddened him.

She turned from him suddenly and looked back over toward the sunset.

“I will stand guard, My Lady. I will not speak further, unless you wish it. Atishea ima minera’vun.”

He vowed, then, that he would guard her forever should she wish it. It was his duty.

~~~~~~~~~

 

She felt him through the door before she entered. His aura the same, steady sorrow she felt from that time all those years ago. The Well knew too. They sang to her that he was trusted. That he was a friend. Falon. But she knew better. She knew the real reason that he had been stationed here. Abelas even spoke it; before she let her emotions get the better of her.

It was him. He knew as well as she did that she was stuck. There was no going back to what was. No going forward either. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone to her sorrow?

She felt him enter her room, halt, then steadily make his way over toward her perch on the balcony. Felt him pause as he assessed her. The Well was happy. She was not. They wanted to talk to him. They missed his presence. His steady aura.  But she couldn’t. She just couldn’t. She would break if she let so much as a sound escape her lips. She knew. The Well knew too. But they were too excited at the presence of their old friend to remember. She was balanced on the edge of a blade. She was tired. She was hurt. She was sorrow.

After her explosion of emotion, where she almost spoke, almost broke, she stared at the man. He was tall, but then, so were most elvhen men she had ever come across. He had the same vallaslin as she remembered. The tree branches of Mythal bold on his face. She noticed that his eyes were a somber amber. She couldn’t remember if she noticed that from before. She was so distracted from Corypheus and another pair of eyes that she missed his. His strong angular face was beautiful, she realized.

She turned quickly from him. What was she thinking? This was Abelas. Her keeper. Her guard. Her jailor. She had no business noticing how attractive he was.

The Well approved. She scoffed in her mind. She would not fall for another man, no matter how handsome. She could not take another blow. She was broken.

As the stars settled into the night, she stayed there. There was no reason to go into the room. She would not sleep on the bed. How could she have that luxury when those she loved no longer could either?

She would allow Abelas to stay, she decided. After all, what choice did she have? The Well just hummed happily in her head.

Chapter 3

Notes:

Telsila da’vhenan. Sul ar ame min or amahn. (Do not worry little heart. For I am here.)

Numin or lahna or irlahna sule mar inan ane nis (Cry until your eyes are dry)

Ar’an avy bellanaris. Ar’an ane. (We will be forever. We are tied.)

Ma’arla. Ema’dhrua. (My home. Have faith.)

Diana mar vhenan I nehn. (Fill your heart with joy.)

Banal’rasen himathe to elea. (Shadows change to light.)

Ama mar nehn. Vara’mar abelas. (Keep your joy. Leave your sorrow.)

Chapter Text

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. And months slowly turned into years. Neither of them spoke, content with the companionable silence.

The Well was disappointed in her refusal to talk to Abelas, but she was stubborn. She honestly had no idea why he was content to stay here with her. He was a Sentinel. A Commander at that. His duty should have been to guard their palace from attack. To help the People. Why he was content to stay here in silence with her was confusing.

She knew he didn’t like her. She remembered how he told her she wasn’t a true elvhen all those years ago. Even today, it still stung. It was ironic, honestly, that she was now one of them. What she would have given before everything to just have a taste of this. But now she knew; knowledge had a price. Everything had a price; even happiness.

It was a normal evening when she had had enough of the Well’s relentlessness regarding Abelas. Sighing in defeat, she turned and saw Abelas standing guard as he did every day on her balcony, “Abelas.”

He looked up and she couldn’t remember what she was going to say. His golden eyes pierced her with… something. He was so hard to read. She suddenly remembered Solas, before he turned into Fen’Harel. How his gaze would pierce through her soul while his face remained impassive. Were all ancients able to do this?

After more silence, he said quietly, “My Lady?”

She was stuck now. No longer could she stay silent, but she didn’t quite know what to say. His gaze was… nice. She shook her heard then said just as quietly, “Why are you here?”

More silence, his gaze unwavering, “I was told to guard you, My Lady.”

It couldn’t be that simple. Surely, he was miserable. Either that or there was something he needed from her… for him. She couldn’t trust him. She couldn’t trust anyone anymore.

Instead of saying anything more, she just nodded and continued her silence. The Well was trying to get her to say more. To talk. But she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. There was nothing more to say.

There was more silence, and then he surprised her when he said, “Was there anything else My Lady?”

She looked at him again, wondering what he was asking. Should she say something? Curiosity won out, and she decided that she would ask a question; but not one that he was prepared to answer, “What is your favorite flower?”

She knew she caught him off guard when he raised his eyebrows. That was the most expression she had seen from him… ever.

“Arbor Blessing.” He finally said. Interesting.

More silence. He surprised her, again, when he spoke next, “And yours?”

“Dawn Lotus.” She said eventually. She looked back over at him, and he looked as he always did. But… there was something different. She couldn’t explain what. She looked back at the sunset; wondering about the man who hadn't left her, and silence reined once more.

~~~~~~~~~

Abelas was confused. It had been years before she said something to him, and she asked him about his favorite flower? What had possessed her? He kept waiting for her to say something more. Anything. But her silence continued. 

It came as a pleasant surprise when the next evening she spoke again. She looked at him, her gaze piercing, “Abelas.”

“My Lady,” he replied.

“What is your favorite color?” she asked after a moment.

Again, he was caught off guard. Why would she need to know these things? But he was bound to serve her, so he answered, “Green.” It was a second later he realized that green was the color of her eyes.

Another beat of silence, him slightly uncomfortable with where his thoughts had turned, had him asking, “And yours?”

She looks thoughtful, then answers, “Gold.”

His face, impassive with years of training did nothing at the mention of her answer; but his heart skipped a beat. Gold. Her favorite color was gold. Suddenly he felt warm.

The night passed in silence again.

Days and weeks and months passed and every evening she would ask him a question. Favorite song. Favorite Poem. Whether he preferred day to night. Constellations that he knew. On and on it went. She would ask and he would answer. But he learned about her too. He learned that she detested cold but loved the snow. Learned that she missed the sea, seeing halla graze in the fields, hearing the music of the trees in the wind.

It was one such evening where instead of a question she was quiet. He waited until the stars shone in the sky, and when she was still silent, he asked, “My lady… are you well?”

She looked at him the, eyes full of sorrow and took a shuddering breath, “No.”

He did not know what to do. He knew sorrow only all too well. Knew that it could consume you. He did not know how to comfort her. He had never tried to do anything like that before. Wracking his knowledge from centuries past, he remembered a song his mother sang, when he was very young.

He started humming. Softly at first; then when she looked at him he sang softly:

Telsila da’vhenan. Sul ar ame min or amahn. 

Numin or lahna or irlahna sule mar inan ane nis 

Ar’an avy bellanaris. Ar’an ane. 

Ma’arla. Ema’dhrua. 

Diana mar vhenan I nehn. 

Banal’rasen himathe to elea. 

Ama mar nehn. Vara’mar abelas. 

When he was done, she whispered brokenly, “That was beautiful.”

His body held still in shock when she faced him and then wrapped her arms around him in an embrace. His mind was blank. His arms frozen. Slowly, ever so slowly, he put his arms around her. She was warm. She was small. She smelled of warm sunshine and vanilla.

They stayed like that for minutes. Hours. He wasn’t sure. But it felt good. It felt right.

She leaned back and looked up at him, green eyes searching, “Can you hold me tonight?”

He couldn’t speak, only nod his head in acceptance.

He fell asleep that night feeling warm for the first time.

Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Notes:

I have not written in quite a long time. I did not think I wanted to write more to this particular story, but I had a vision, and so I wrote more. I might keep going, depending on my creative juice. Hope you all like this little bit more!

Dhea - morning

Mamae - mother

Babae - father

Amelan - guardian

Sou’suin - quiet strength

Chapter Text

Waking up was disorienting. She was warm. Why was she warm? Then she felt the strong arms around her; felt the gentle warm breath on her neck. How his body fit hers so well. It was comforting. It was warm. It was nice. So, she stayed until she felt him stir.

“Good morning, Abelas.” I said quietly.

He tensed a moment the relaxed and answered, “My Lady.”

“I think that you sleeping in my bed deserves some other form of recognition,” I said. I turned around and looked thoughtfully at him. He still looked sleepy. His hair was mussed, and he had pillow tracks on his cheek. This was new. This was interesting. I gently traced his tattoo on his face and said, “My name is Dhea.”

He was silent, his eyes wide. So many new expressions she was causing him. The Well laughed in her head, encouraging her behavior.

He finally seemed to collect himself and slowly sat up, and said, “Dhea… like your hair, light as the morning sunlight.”

I almost smiled…almost. The Well was disappointed. “Or the time of the day my mamae had me. It was a joke my babae had and it stuck.”

Abelas looked fascinated by my story. When I proved to speak no further, he said, “Abelas was not my first name. I gave myself this name after the fall of Arlathan. My first name was Amelan. I was born in the temples of Mythal and trained from birth to become her guardian. It was an honor. When she fell, I fell with her.”

Oh, I had heard of the stories from The Well. They whispered about times lost, often regaling me with stories spanning thousands of years. All these years I had been alone, The Well was there, gently keeping me company.

I nodded and said, “The Well. They told me. But I appreciate you telling me as well. Thank you.”

He looked surprised and The Well giggled, “The Well told you? You can understand?”

I tilted my head and said, “It was difficult, at first. There were so many voices. So many memories. It hurt, and it almost tore me apart. But… now they are gentle. They are kind. They fill me with knowledge of times long since passed and fill my lonely days with their presence.”

He looked fascinated and said, “The Well was originally intended only for memories to be added, so our knowledge would not be lost. That it has become something more is… unheard of.”

I hummed, and got out of bed as well, taking up my normal spot on the balcony, “I was often told I was impossible, yet here I am. Alive. Whole. No arm missing.”

He looked confused, “Your arm was… gone?”

I nodded, “When… when he left, the anchor that was from his orb, refused to part from me… but it was also killing me. He took my arm, wrenching his power back. I was without an arm until the Veil was torn down. I went to sleep that night, with my friends and family, and awoke to chaos and dead bodies littering the castle he let me keep. I walked among the dead until he found me and took me here where he gave me a new arm.”

I then looked down at my blemish free arm in disgust, “And so I have remained. A prisoner in this new world. A walking corpse he refuses to let die and be at peace with everyone else.”

Abelas was silent. I did not even feel him get closer, until I felt his hand gently take my arm. It was my turn to look at him in surprise. He lifted my arm and ran his fingers up and down my soft skin, causing gooseflesh to erupt. He then brought my palm to his lips and kissed it softly, a caress.

I was stunned. When he finally looked into my eyes he said, “When I had first seen you, although you were a quickling, your soul shone brighter than any I had seen since the fall. You reminded me of my mistress, and in so doing I allowed you to take The Well. I believed, as I don’t doubt many others have felt the same before me, that you would perish. Either from the threat of the corrupted shem, or through The Well killing you. When… when he had told me that you were still alive, but here in his castle, I was shocked. I had thought you perished with the rest.” He slowly let my hand drop, and said, “But you did not. You exceeded my expectations. His expectations. I have only known you for a short time, for our time is now limitless, and I have already come to understand how rare someone like you is.”

I could feel my eyes tear up and I said, “I just want peace. I want them back. I miss the laughter. I miss the smiles. Varric telling his crazy stories. Bull making lascivious comments. Krem’s knitting. Sera’s cookies. Dorian’s fashion sense. Cassandra’s bravery. Liliana’s cunning. Josephine’s heart. Cullen’s shy smile. Cole’s innocence. Vivienne’s motherly advice. I miss them. They’re gone and I’m stuck here. Without them. I went to sleep and then they were gone. Dead eyes and dead hearts. I wanted children. I wanted a family. I will never have that now. It was ripped from me just as surely as my soul was ripped when the Veil was torn. I am dead. I walk and breath, but my soul is gone, and I can’t stand it anymore.”

By now I was bawling. My heart was breaking all over again and this time I might not come back from it.

I felt strong arms encase me in my misery. I cried and cried until my breath was hoarse. When I had no more tears left, I stood silently in his arms. I slowly realized that he was singing. It was that song again. He was rocking me. When had we sat down? Over and over again. It was soothing.

When he felt me relax, he said, “I understand. For so long I have been Abelas. Sorrow. But… we can always choose something else. Another name.”

We sat there together for a long time. The stars were high in the sky before I rasped out, “Sou’suin.” 

Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Notes:

Sou’suin - quiet strength

Banal’halam - a word without a true translation in English. Meaning the concept of souls and memories travelling onwards throughout history within the minds and hearts of loved ones, thus meaning that everything -- in a small way -- is immortal. Buildings will remain, clues will remain of lost cultures, dead loved ones live onward in our memories. Nothing truly ends.

Alhasha vun - Wild sun

Chapter Text

She was so small in my arms. But she smelled like spring, and she was warm. It had been a long time since he had held anyone, if ever, that he remembers.

Sou’suin she said. Quiet strength. Is that what he was to her? Could he be that for her? He held her closer and said softly, “Indeed. That is a nice name.”

She held me closer, and we stayed that way for a long time, neither of us wanting to move. It was then it came to me, a new name for her, “Banal’halam. Nothing ever truly dies. They live on, in your heart and in your soul.” I let my words sink in for a moment before saying, “Alhasha vun.” 

She looked up at me, her eyes red and puffy, and her face was streaked with tears, but I had never seen anyone so beautiful. She watched me for some time, and I felt her soul reach for mine. Then, she took my breath away. Her smile was bright. So bright.

She finally spoke, “So I’m wild, am I?”

I could not speak. Her smile, though small, made it impossible to think anything at all. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears, and I could not think.

I watched as she came closer to me, her small hands tracing my Vallaslin, and she said, “The Well likes you. They talk about you all the time, did you know?”

I shook my head. Although her smile was gone, her eyes remained lit with something I could not define.

“They were with you for so long, and you cared for them. To those in your charge, you take care of them wholeheartedly. Without reservations.” She looked into my eyes once again, and I could feel her hesitance, “Am I just another charge? Will you one day let me go too?”

Her hesitance broke something in me, and I held her face as gently as she held mine, “I will not.”

She just kept holding me gently and said, “Everyone leaves. Don’t make promises you cannot keep.”

I took in a deep breath and said, “It is true that things come and go. But, if you will it, I will not.”

Her eyes got far away, and she spoke in a whisper, “The Well wants me to agree with you. They are always pushing me towards you. But I am afraid. Everyone I had ever loved is either dead or gone. And the one that I had given my heart to, my soul, left for things greater than I could give.”

It was then I understood. She was afraid to get close to someone again. I brought our faces closer and lightly touched our foreheads, “I am but a servant. I do not have much, but neither do I seek for anything that you are not willing to give.”

I could feel her breath upon my lips as she said, “And if I give you my heart?”

My breath hitched, and I was floored. This was so much more than I thought I deserved, “I do not deserve it. But if you give it, I will hold it gladly, and keep it safe.”

She sighed and said, “And your own? Will you keep it hidden?”

I shook my head gently and said, “No. If you want to keep something of mine, you have but to ask. I will gladly give you the stars, you only need wish it, and it is yours.”

Her hands held my face firmly now and she said, “You cannot take them back.”

I smiled and said, “I would not want to.”

I felt her smile, and then I felt something more. Her lips were soft, warm, and felt so good. I was shocked for a moment, before I slowly kissed her back. As we kissed softly, her hold on me grew until she was grasping me to come closer. I immediately complied.

I had never kissed anyone before, and murmured against her lips, “You are so soft. So warm.”

She inched back and looked at me with mirth in her beautiful eyes. Her lips were swollen, and her cheeks were rosy, “Women tend to be warm and soft.” Her eyes then hooded, and she said, “You are hard, and feel like lightening in my arms.”

I smiled at her and said, “Lightening? How so?”

She tilted her head and ran her fingers gently down my cheek and said, “When you touch me, my heart pounds and it sends shivers down my spine. When you look at me, my soul cries for yours in a way I have never felt. When you kiss me, lightening dances behind my eyes, and the world falls away.”

I brought my hands back to her face and said, “I have not felt this in my entire existence. All I have known is duty. But being with you is refreshing. You take my breath away and I want to always see that light in your eyes and your beautiful smile.”

Her eyes danced and her smile was wide, “And in return?”

I held her eyes for what seemed an eternity and said, “I give you everything.”

Her smile did not dim, and her eyes remained fastened on mine, “I want you, Sou’suin. Just you.”

I brought our lips closer together, “Then you have me. Always.” And I kissed her gently. She sighed on my mouth and kissed me back.

I did not think about how our actions would be perceived, nor what we would become in the future. I only thought about her lips on mine, our arms holding each other, and our souls healing and becoming something more.

Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Notes:

Sathan, Sou'suin - please Sou'suin

Ma nuvenin, emma'asha - As you wish, my woman

Chapter Text

He strode down the hallways with a confidence. It came as a surprised that he was summoned at all. He had thought that his King would leave them alone, as he had done for the last few years.

When he finally stood in front of his King, his friend, he bowed with a fisted salute and said, "You asked for me?"

When he rose and looked his friend in the eye, it surprised him to see slight hostility and contempt within his gaze.

Solas inclined his head and said, "You have not been out of her rooms in quite some time. Is there something I should know?"

He refused to be cowed. He knew The Game and refused to play it. He said, "She has been well. We have been conversing more these last few months. She... was not well before then."

Solas sighed, and seemed to almost cave in on himself, "I see... is she willing to come out of her rooms?"

I thought about her. How her light had finally started to show, and said, "I do not know. She has only started speaking. She is... not happy to be here."

Solas nodded and said, "I know. But I could not leave her there to die." His gaze sharpened and he said, "You love her."

I refused to lie. I nodded and said, "I do."

I could see the war going on in his gaze, and he finally turned from me, "Does she feel the same?" Does she still love me? went unsaid.

I shook my head and said, "I do not know. I only know her pain. Her anger, and her worry." Her smile. Her soft lips upon mine and her warmth in my arms.

He still refused to face me when he said, "I did not think feelings of this extent would arise between you and her."

I stood there stiffly, "I did not know I could feel them myself. But I made her a promise, one I intend to keep."

Solas turned around, enraged, "And that is something I cannot do, is it?"

I stood firm and resolute, "I only know of my own will and determination. I do not presume to know others'."

Solas breathed deeply, and almost growled, "She was mine."

I looked at my King, my friend, and said simply, "She was."

He grimaced, then turned from me once more. I was silent, waiting for him to speak first. What he said, shocked me, "I do not want you guarding her."

I stood there, stunned. What was he saying? I finally said, "You want to punish both me and her. Why?"

He was stiff, his posture tall and imposing, "You are not right for her."

I was angered, "Who are you to tell her who is right and who is not? You already let her go. You already took too much and gave too little. Now that you have given her something else, you take it away, as if she is a child in need of punishment for sins you think she has committed."

He spun and yelled, "She is not yours!"

It was I who yelled this time, "And you are not hers! You are my King, my friend, but in this I will do as I need, whether you will it or no. To ensure that her smile lasts. That her tattered soul comes together in the peace she has been denied. I love her. I will be there for her."

Solas's magic flared, and he growled, "I forbit it."

I tilted my head, and said just as lowly, "You forbid? Are you my master now, Solas?"

What I had said shocked him, and he backed away as if I had hit him. He finally looked away and remained quiet for some time.

He then went to his throne and sat down, the weight of the world upon his shoulders, and murmured, "I had loved her. Still love her. But I have lost her love in return. I had told her that I walked the dinan'shiral, and that I could not take her with me. She begged me, down on her knees, and as I took the anchor from her, and her arm, I left her there. Alone." He closed his eyes in pain, "And now I pay for my sins."

I stayed standing there, unable to move with his revelations. Everything made sense. His pain. Her pain. And her anger.

Solas finally sighed and looked up at me and said, "Go to her. I will not stand in the path that you both have chosen to walk. I have already walked mine."

I nodded, gave another slight bow, and left.

When I got to her rooms, she stood once again on the balcony. She turned in surprise, and said, "I did not think you would be back."

I took her face in my hands gently and said, "I have said that I will not leave, and I will not."

She huffed and said, "He was upset. I can tell. His magic lashed out, like the breach once upon a time."

I nodded. Just as I would not lie to him, I would not lie to her, "He forbade me from seeing you." I could tell this angered her, but I continued, "I told him that I would be with you, until you wished otherwise."

I could see her tears form when she said, "You...told him no?"

I gave her a warm smile, and said, "I told him no."

She smiled wide, her tears still in her eyes making jewels in their wake, and laughed, "You told him no!" Then she took my face in her hands and kissed me.

This was not the gentle kisses she had bestowed upon him, or even the small pecks she had offered him before. This was heat. This was carnal.

I held her firmly in my arms and kissed her with just as much passion, and when she touched her tongue to my lips for entrance, I groaned in pleasure and traded my own with equal fervor.

Her touch, her kiss, ignited something in me that I did not know I possessed. She was mine. And I was hers. And we were together.

She pulled from my lips with a gasp and said, "I want you."

I knew what she meant, and I asked, "Are you confident that this is what you desire? I will give you whatever you wish. Whatever you need and give it gladly."

She gave me a sultry smile. One that locked my knees and hardened my lower regions, and said, "You are what I want. What I need. Sathan, Sou'suin."

I griped her tighter and said, "Ma nuvenin, emma'asha."