Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bakugou Katsuki is furious.

“Aren’t you supposed to cover this shit?” He says, throwing his hands out at his sides before letting them fall on his hips.

Endeavor, who had been ignoring Bakugou’s presence in his office completely (even after Bakugou had very dramatically slammed the door), looks up and raises an eyebrow. “Cover what?”

“My insurance deductibles! Look at this shit!” He figures he shouldn’t be cursing in front of the number one hero (who happens to be his boss), but he’s been around the guy long enough and is his best-performing sidekick, even out performing Shouto. Bakugou hates that damn word. Sidekick. He can’t wait until he can leave this agency and all the extras in it in the fucking dust. “This one’s for fifty-thousand yen. Fifty-thousand! That’s half of what I make in a week! How am I supposed to eat?” He sets the bill down on Endeavor’s desk. He picks it up and eyes it with the same bored ambivalence that he normally has for everything relating to Bakugou. It’s strangely like Shouto, and just as frustrating too.

“Stop blowing up buildings, then,” is what he says, tossing the bill back to Bakugou. “You signed your contract just like everyone else. Shouto doesn’t have these problems.”

“Shouto this, Shouto that! Shouto’s a spoiled brat who’s rich enough to pay for this shit and I’m not.”

As soon as he said the words, he realizes just how badly he’s fucked up.

Bakugou knows he can do one of two things:

1. Backtrack immediately. Apologize. Give Endeavor about twelve thousand compliments relating to his son and hope for the best.

2. Start praying

Bakugou opts for the second option. It doesn’t end well.

“Your dad fucking benched me for the rest of the week!”

Shouto doesn’t even look up from his massive pile of paperwork. “What did you do?”

“Why would you assume I did something?”

“Because you always do something. Plus, you have more arrests than any other first-year hero besides Deku. It doesn’t make sense to bench you without a reason.”

Bakugou spins around in his office chair, unable to sit still. Shouto said they could spar after paperwork, but he’s quickly losing patience. “Dumbass Deku,” he mumbles under his breath. When he spins to face Shouto again, he says, “I insulted you...kinda.”

Shouto bursts out into laughter. “You’re a reckless idiot.”

“It’s not funny, you bastard!”

Shouto actually puts down his pen to laugh harder. “Yes,” he manages in between gasping breaths, “it is.”

“No it’s fucking not, Shouto! Not all of us are rich boys engaged to be married to a rich girl living in luxury! Some of us have parents who laugh at them and then hang up when they ask to borrow money and then end up living in a studio apartment because they have a quirk that fucking explodes shit.”

“You live in one room?” He looks absolutely appalled. Bakugou wants to fucking deck him.

“Yes! I live in one room. Because my damn insurance is so high that I can’t afford shit!”

Shouto scrunches up his nose. “Ouch.”

“Ouch? That’s all you’re going to say?”

Shouto picks up his pen and continues working on his paperwork. “Well what would you want me to say, Katsuki?” He says it in that tone of voice that he gets whenever he decides to start treating Bakugou like a very annoying timebomb rather than a person. Bakugou’s officially had enough of this conversation and every fucking Todoroki in the world.

He growls, standing up so fast his chair slams into the one behind him, and then storms out of the office.

He realizes halfway to the front door that he’s forgotten his coat, but he’d rather freeze than have to walk back inside that hell hole.

By the time he gets home, Bakugou’s sure that he’s never going to sweat again. He’s cold down to his bone marrow. This is what he fucking gets for being stubborn, he guesses. He decides that he’ll just take a steaming hot bath, get himself a nice warm dinner and then curl up to bed for the night. If he can forget about all the bullshit from his day, he can rest well and look at it all with a clearer head tomorrow. His therapist tells him that. Sometimes it’s just better to let things be and look at them another day.

His therapist is pretty damn smart, and hasn’t steered him wrong so far. He’s another one of the many necessary expenses that seem to be overtaking Bakugou’s life. Is this what adulthood is like? He didn’t sign up for this shit.

Bakugou turns on the bath to as hot as it will go before peeling off his dirty hero gear and tossing it on the floor. When the bathtub is halfway full, he sticks his foot in.

And then he immediately screams and takes it back out because the water is ice fucking cold. Unfortunately, because he just can’t win today, he goes stumbling backwards, slams pretty hard into the wall and ends up landing on his ass.

His hot water doesn’t fucking work.

He calls the company to make sure that he’s paid the bill (he has) and makes sure that the heater looks functional (everything is turned on) before he calls his landlord. The guy is pretty happy to talk to Bakugou until he says the words “Hot water” then suddenly his phone “loses service” and “he has to go”.

Bakugou gently sets down his phone and then closes his eyes and counts to ten to calm down. He has to do it three times.

Right, so food it is. He gets some nice, comfy warm clothes and heads into the kitchen. Cooking has always relaxed him. He stayed at the office really damn late, so it’s already closer to the time he wants to be asleep than the time he should have eaten dinner. He’s famished, and is positive that he’ll feel better after a meal.

Then, he opens the door of his refrigerator to find it fucking empty. Really, seriously empty. The only things in it are butter, soy sauce and a half gallon of spoiled milk.

He slams the door shut and opens the cabinet where he keeps his dry food.

In it, a cockroach greets him.

Just like the water in a tea kettle, if you heat Bakugou up enough, there’s nothing to keep him from screaming eventually.

“Whoa dude, that blows. You have roaches? You didn’t bring any here, did you?” Kirishima says, his face scrunching up.

“No, dumbass. I didn’t put it in my fucking pocket.” He stretches out on Kirishima’s couch as much as it will allow. He ends up kicking Kaminari in the thigh a few times before he gives up and rests his feet on his legs instead.

Kirishima tosses a blanket on him. “Sounds like you’ve had a really shitty day, man. I wish there was something I could do for ya besides let you crash.”

Bakugou pulls the blanket up and tucks himself in it so that only his head pokes out. “This has been the worst day of my life.”

Kaminari says, “Dude you say that like, every two months.”

“Have I told you to go fuck yourself lately?”

“You always say the sweetest things to me, Bakugou. You really do.”

“I’m a ray of goddamn sunshine.”

He isn’t sure how he ended up with friends who actually tolerate him, but right now he feels pretty lucky to have them. He showed up at Kaminari and Kirishima’s apartment shivering, furious and absolutely starving. Now he’s fed, warm and slightly less angry.

Kirishima comes up to him and gives him a gentle pat on the head, which Bakugou thinks should feel condescending, but right now just feels nice. “Look, Bakugou. You’re welcome to stay here tonight, but tomorrow you should go back home and deal with your shit. Call your landlord again, get an exterminator and try and at least get a couple things from the grocery store.”

“This all sounds very expensive,” Bakugou grumbles. “Can’t I just move in with you guys?”

Kirishima laughs, a good hearty laugh that makes him hold onto his stomach. “I love you, bro, but I’d kill you if I had to live with you.”

Bakugou pouts in return.

“Hey, that’s a good idea, though!” Kaminari says. “You should get a roommate!”

“A roommate? Who the fuck do you think I could stand enough to live with?”

Under his breath, Kaminari says, “Or who could stand to live with you.”

“I fucking heard that, asshole. But, you’re right. My insurance would go up even more if I had to kill someone in my own home, even if it was self defense.”

“You know what Bakugou, I feel like you’re missing a key part to these statements, but overall, yeah.” Kirishima says, nodding.

“Shouto’s out, since he and ponytail are getting married. Jirou moved to bumblefuck. Cheeks and Froggy live together now-”

“Plus Ochako would kill you,” Kaminari adds. Kirishima hums, agreeing.

“Pinkie would kill me too. I think in my sleep. I wouldn’t even have a chance. I ain’t ashamed to admit that.”

“Hey!” Kaminari says, snapping his fingers like he’s turning on a brilliant lightbulb of an idea. “I got it! What about Midoriya?”

“What?” Bakugou hisses.

“Yeah,” Kirishima starts, “Midoriya inherited All Might’s agency and stuff, so he’s doing pretty well. He works by himself. He’s busy as hell but we went over his apartment last month and It was really nice. Had a second bedroom too.”

Bakugou sits up to look at them both, really look at them, because this is fucking serious.

"Get this straight, losers and get it straight right now. I am never, ever, fucking never living with Deku. I'd rather work at a restaurant on my days off than live with Deku. I'd rather risk Mina killing me than live with Deku. I’d rather never have a hot shower again than live with Deku. I'd rather die than live with Deku."

Bakugou is going to move in with Deku.

Here’s how the fuck that happened:

It started with a text from Shouto, because all of the Todoroki family is not to be trusted.

Shouto, to Kirishima and Midoriya: Did you know Bakugou lives in a box?

Kirishima: Bro it’s a studio apartment not a box.

Midoriya: Yeah, Shouto. That’s not a box. But I didn’t know that

Kirishima: It’s pretty shitty too. He was over last night freaking out cuz he has roaches there

Shouto: Omg I touched him. Am I going to get them?

Midoriya: Poor Kacchan! That’s horrible!

Kirishima: Yea ikr? We told him to get a roommate but he said he can’t cuz nobody wants to live with him lol

Shouto: That’s probably true.

Midoriya: I’ll live with him

Shouto: Why would you do that

Kirishima: Uhhh not sure he wants to live with you back

Midoriya: It’ll be fine! Kacchan will move in with me and ditch his shitty apartment! I’ll ask him.

And when Deku, who’s also not to be trusted, invited Bakugou out to lunch, he said yes-- completely unaware of what he was about to walk into.

As much as he hates to admit it, ‘lunch’ is something that he and Deku do often together. Ever since they graduated from UA, they’ve been occasionally meeting up for things like dinner or lunch or drinks after work. It’s not the worst thing in the world, which is the worst thing in the world. Deku makes good company. He meets Bakugou exactly where he is, doesn’t expect sunshine to come out of his ass and most importantly, he always pays. He’s gone an entire year without seeing some of his old classmates, but Deku always makes a point to keep in touch. Case in point: the weirdest day of Bakugou’s life thus far-- and that’s including when he was randomly attacked by a sludge monster.

It had been a Saturday night about a month ago. A day where Bakugou had worked twelve goddamn hours running after asshole criminals, patrolling the streets and doing endless amounts of paperwork. He was fucking exhausted, and when Deku called him to cancel their plans that Bakugou had forgotten even existed, Bakugou had plopped himself down on the couch and laughed before saying, “Deku, I’ve never been happier to be ditched.”

“Did you also spend your entire day running around in circles without time to eat?” Over the phone, Bakugou heard the sound of Deku heating something up in a microwave.

“No! It wasn’t that bad. Jesus, you need to make time to eat. But it was twelve hours of hell.” Bakugou laid down on his couch, groaning with how good it felt to be comfortable and horizontal.

“Well, you can keep me company while I eat. Tell me about your day of hell, Kacchan.”

And for some unknown goddamn reason, Bakugou did.

He and Deku talked for hours. They talked about old things and new things and that All Might tv show they watched when they were kids. They talked about life, about work, about family. For some reason, Bakugou wanted Deku to know everything that was on his mind, and for some reason, Deku wanted to listen.

He had ended up falling asleep on the phone, waking up to a dead cell jammed uncomfortably up against his ear.

So, yeah, Deku said “lunch” and Bakugou said “okay” and then the sneaky fucker ended up asking Bakugou to move in with him. He had the nerve to ask it all sweet too. “Kacchan, I’m finding that it costs so much to run an agency, and I was just wondering if you could-”

Blah, Blah, Blah, it was a load of bullshit.

Bakugou has no idea why he said yes. In fact, he’s pretty sure he was drugged. More than likely he had a moment of weakness and clarity where he wasn’t afraid of letting someone help him the slightest bit, but Deku drugging him sounds more believable-- really, it does.

Regardless of what happened, here he is, carrying a box of his shit past joyful ass Deku. “This is the worst day of my life,” he mumbles.

Behind him, Kaminari says, “Oh...my god. Again?”

Everyone’s pitched in to help, even though Bakugou had exactly one fucking room at his old apartment and one fucking room at the new one, so it’s not like he has much. Uraraka floats in his dresser, and Deku uses full cowl to carry a disturbing amount of boxes at one time. It’s all very ‘let’s group hug!’ and ‘I’m so glad we’re friends!’ and Bakugou is so, so fucking miserable.

After what feels like four hundred hours, everyone leaves.

That’s when it hits him-- he fucking lives with Deku now. Every single day of his life he’s going to have to spend all of his time at home with Deku. He’s gonna have to eat with Deku and share a bathroom with him. They’ll have to organize chores and laundry and oh god.

Bakugou had really, actually moved in with Deku.

They were roommates.

Oh my god, they were roommates.

Maybe he can get a second job after all.

Bakugou manages to grumble out a ‘thank you’ to everyone (even Deku) before he heads back to his room to get into his bed and never get out of it again. He’s actually excited for it, which is probably why Deku goes and fucks it up.

“Hey Kacchan?”

“What?”

Deku’s voice sounds almost...nervous and Bakugou’s reminded of their early years at UA. Maybe someday he’ll stop feeling guilty for all that, but today isn’t that day apparently, because he turns around to see what Deku has to say. “I was wondering,” he’s even twisting his hands and shit. “If you wanted to hang out with me. I got some beer and I found this old movie that I think you used to love. It’s the one with the-”

“Yeah.” Bakugou doesn’t know why he agrees, but he does. In fact, he isn’t even dreading it. He’s excited to hang out with stupid fucking Deku. What. The. Fuck.

“And the- Wait, really?”

“I said yeah, didn’t I?”

“Okay! I’ll go get it!” Deku practically bounces back to his room.

Bakugou eases himself down onto the couch, sighing, “And I’ll be here.”

Chapter Text

Living with Deku doesn’t suck, which surprises the shit out of Bakugou. Mostly, it doesn’t suck because Deku’s never fucking home. He wakes up at the ass crack of dawn, makes some breakfast that smells like shit and then comes home sometimes after Bakugou’s already gone to bed for the night. He never takes days off either. Bakugou finds himself doing all of the house chores out of pure sympathy. Plus, it’s not like Deku’s home to make any dishes or mess. It just seems fair. He would say he’s almost worried about Deku, if worrying was something he did. He looks more and more tired as the weeks go on. Half the time, he comes home with some shitty store-bought dinner because he can’t cook for shit.

So, for no other reason besides the fact that he can, Bakugou starts making dinners for two. It’s certantly not because Deku’s treating his body like shit and Bakugou’s concerned, absolutely fucking not. He does not worry about other people, especially not Deku.

Deku does like his cooking though. Sometimes they get to eat together and he spends a stupid amount of time raving about how good it is. Sometimes he comes home after Bakugou’s already asleep and leaves a little thank you note on the fridge for Bakugou to find in the morning. It’s infuriating. Deku’s so fucking stupid. Who leaves notes like that?

Every three weeks, Bakugou works an overnight patrol. It’s his least favorite day of the month, but it’s normally a quiet couple of hours besides a few drunk assholes here and there. Eventually, the sun comes up and he gets to drag his tired ass back home. He gets in around seven in the morning and finds Deku eating the dinner Bakugou had left for him the night before, dressed in full hero gear. “Deku?” Bakugou asks, because it’s seven in the fucking morning.

“Oh hi Kacchan!” he says. His voice sounds cheerful and stupid and so Deku, but when Bakugou sets down his bag and rounds the corner to walk into the kitchen, he can see that his smile is strained. He has shadows under his eyes that look like bruises. They’re even covering some of his freckles.

“Why are you eating dinner at seven in the morning?”

“Because I just got home. I have to go patrol again soon, though. But I wanted to eat and take a shower. This is really delicious, Kacchan. Thank y-”

“You just got home?”

“Yeah, but I have to-”

“No you fucking don’t.” Suddenly Bakugou’s furious. He doesn’t exactly know why at first, or maybe he just doesn’t want to see it. “You’re not going fucking anywhere.”

Deku sets the plate down on the counter. His brow furrows. “Kacchan, I already told you. I have to-”

“You haven’t slept! You never sleep! You barely fucking eat and probably don’t unless I feed you. I know you’re not at full strength right now. You’re so fucking stupid Deku. You gotta take care of yourself or you can’t help people for shit.”

As he speaks, he watches Deku’s face fall.

It’s been over a year since he’s seen Deku cry, but now he watches as Deku looks at his stupid red shoes and sniffs. He has big crocodile tears on his cheeks when he looks back up. “I just want to be good,” is what he says.

Bakugou takes a really careful breath, because he wants to make sure his voice is even when he speaks again. “Deku,” He says slowly. “The world isn’t going to burn down because you slept for eight hours.”

And maybe that’s what Deku’s needed to hear for a year now, because his face cracks and his silent tears turn into all out sobs. He’s crying so hard that it looks like he doesn’t know what to do with his body. First he covers his face and then his hands run through his hair and then he just sits down in the middle of his kitchen floor. The great hero Deku in full gear, sobbing in the middle of his kitchen because Bakugou told him that it was okay to go to sleep.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” Bakugou says. He’s still so, so mad. He sinks right down on the floor next to Deku and does something he never thought he’d do. He pulls Deku into a hug.

He kneels next to Deku and wraps his arms around him and Deku sobs into his shoulder, arms coming up to circle around Bakugou’s waist. He cries and cries and after a minute or two Bakugou says, “You are good. But you gotta get better, or else I’ll kick your ass.” That makes Deku laugh and sob at the same time, which ends up sounding really wet and slobbery, but it does slow down the crying a bit.

“I just, I just don’t know what to do,” Deku admits. He sounds frustrated.

Bakugou says. “I do. You’re gonna fucking sleep your ass off, and then when you wake up I’ll make some dinner and then you’ll stay home and sit on your ass and watch tv, and then go back to sleep after that.”

Deku thinks about it. “But-”

“Shut the fuck up, Deku.”

“Okay.”

Deku’s whole body relaxes into Bakugou, and he figures that the guy might have needed a hug, but this position is uncomfortable as shit and hugs have a fucking time limit before they turn into cuddling. Bakugou pulls back and claps Deku on the shoulder, trying his best to look reassuring, but probably just looking pissed. That’s fine, Deku’s used to it.

“I’m not tired though. I’m wound up.”

“So watch some tv until you get tired,” Bakugou says, easing himself up off the ground. He extends a hand for Deku to take and do the same.

“Good idea. You wanna watch with me? I know I always need to decompress after an overnight. We can watch a movie and then both get some sleep.”

And for some unknown fucking reason Bakugou lies and says, “Yeah. I’m the same way. Go change and find a movie, nerd.”

Deku picks an old All Might movie, surprising no one. Bakugou’s seen this movie a hundred times, both with Deku and without him. It’s different now, now that they’re grown pro heroes and he’s gone. Deku ends up sitting way too close to him on the couch, and Bakugou finds himself letting him.

When he wakes up, there’s something sharp as shit jamming him in the side. “Ow, fuck,” he hisses. He hasn’t woken up this uncomfortable maybe fucking ever. What the hell did he do? Sleep with a clothing hanger in his sheets? He moves to roll over, and finds that he can’t.

Because Deku’s lying on top of him.

“Huh,” he says, blinking until he can orient himself enough. They’re in the living room still and the menu of the All Might movie’s playing on the tv. They must have fallen asleep during it, and somehow ended up in this horrible pile. For a minute, Bakugou considers just throwing Deku off, but it seems pretty rude considering the morning they had, even too rude for him. So he stays sill and gives himself a minute to strategize the best way to wake up Deku without getting a full cowl detroit smash to the jaw because he surprised him.

Deku’s head is pillowed on his chest, his hair wild and curls unfurled and unruly from sleeping on them. Deku’s about his height now, and still a bit stockier than him. He weighs a fucking ton.

He also has really long dark eyelashes. From the afternoon light seeping in from the living room windows, Bakugou can see that they cast shadows on his freckled cheeks.

It’s the worst thing he’s ever seen. He needs the nerd to wake up and get the fuck off him right now.

He grunts, frustrated and suddenly really fucking annoyed that he’s in this situation at all. “Deku, wake up.” He tries to give Deku’s shoulder a little shake. “Hey.”

Deku smacks his lips together and buries his head further into Bakugou’s chest. If it were any other person, if it were any other day or time or situation, Bakugou might call it ‘cute’. Now he just calls it fucking irritating. “Deku!” He hisses, much louder than before.

Deku groans. Without opening his eyes, he says, “Kacchan what do you want? I’m sleeping.”

“Yeah, well, you’re fucking sleeping on me and I’d rather like it if you could get the hell up.” That makes Deku furrow his brow and start to stir.

“W-wh-” Deku lifts his head and blinks his eyes. He’s so out of it it’s almost funny, struggling to return to the land of the living and awake. Bakugou frowns at him, thoroughly tired of Deku’s shit and ready to go to his own bed to sleep some more.

“Deku. Get the fuck off of me.” He winces internally at how miserable and angry his voice sounds. But, it gets the job done.

Deku shoots up, landing on his feet in what seems like half a second. “Oh. Oh my gosh. Kacchan, I’m sorry, uh- I-”
“Forget about it, Nerd. I’m too fucking tired for this.” Then Bakugou gets up and walks right past Deku’s mumbling ass and goes straight to his bedroom. He flops face down on his bed, and doesn’t fucking move until the sun sets.

Deku does exactly what he says, and after a healthy dinner and another couple hours of sleep, he’s annoyingly fucking chipper the next morning.

It’s early. Not earlier than what Bakugou’s used to, but it’s still too damn early to walk out of his room and hear Deku’s happy stupid, “Morning, Kacchan!” Deku’s folding laundry in the living room, the early morning news playing on the TV.

Bakugou grunts and heads into the bathroom to take a piss and brush his teeth, but mostly to hide for another few minutes. Maybe he should have let Deku just stay miserable. He was a lot more tolerable then.

By the time he thinks that maybe, just fucking maybe he'll be able to handle Mr. Sunshine, he hears Deku start to fucking whistle.

That's it. He decides it right there and then. This isn't going to work out.

"I have to make him miserable again, Shouto,” He tells him a few days later. “He’s been bouncing the fuck around like a dumbass green jackrabbit and I hate him so fucking much.”

Shouto gives him a very unimpressed, very tired look. Bakugou sometimes wonders why he even tries talking to him. He has no sympathy. “You have to make your friend miserable?”

“Yes! He fucking sucks now. I can’t live like this.”

Shouto looks like he’s actually thinking about it for a moment, and Bakugou sits and waits for what he is sure will be some great, matter-of-fact advice. What Shouto ends up saying is, “You would look really funny if you had no teeth,” and then he starts chuckling under his breath like it’s the funniest damn thing he’s ever thought of.

Bakugou hates every single person he’s ever met.

He puts his head down on his desk, effectively turning himself to face the opposite direction as Shouto, groaning. Shouto says, “Hey, okay, okay. We can go back to you and Midoriya now. Tell me more about how you want to make him miserable and quiet.”

Bakugou gives another annoyed groan and then spins himself around to face Shouto once more. “That’s the plan. Gotta make him go back to when he was working for three days at a time and not eating dinner and shit.”
“Izuku can’t cook…” Shouto narrows his eyes. “You started making him dinner?”

“Yeah. What the fuck of it?” Bakugou folds his arms over his chest.

“Nothing.” Shouto holds his hands up in a non-threatening gesture. “Nothing. Just trying to get the best idea of the situation. Maybe if we figure out how you made him happy, then you can make him sad again.”

Bakugou’s still not sure that Shout’s taking this as seriously as he should be, but he tells Shouto anyway. “Fine. He came home all fucking sad and weepy and annoying and I told him that he should take a fucking nap and then we’d eat dinner and he could get some more rest. He’s fuckin useless when he’s tired. He knew I was right too. So then his dumbass whines at me until I watch an All Might movie with him and then shit got weird.”

“How’d shit get weird?”

“Well,” Bakugou says, “When you unexpectedly sleep with your friend, shit gets a little weird.”

That’s when the alarm goes off through Endeavor’s office. It’s time to go, and go fucking fast. Adrenaline shoots through Bakugou’s veins at lightining speed. He instantly stands, grabbing his grenade gauntlets from where keeps them under his desk. Shouto’s up too, slipping on his wristbands, jaw set and looking rather seriously around the office. They haven’t had an alarmed emergency in ages. It’s never anything fucking good.

“Come on, Icyhot. Let’s fucking go,” Bakugou says keeping his voice steady. Shouto nods and the two of them race in the direction of the door.

Bakugou groans, pressing the bag of frozen peas against his swollen, aching nose. He eases himself down on the couch, swinging his legs to the side so he can rest his head on a pillow.

The villain attack could have gone worse, considering how well-planned it was. There was a group of about fifty jobless, asshole losers who planned to rob various stores across the city at the same time-- spreading the police force and heroes so thin that the majority of them would get away with their shitty, stupid crimes.

Needless to say, they fucked up and highly underestimated the response time and team that would come to kick their fucking asses.

Bakugou got at least ten villains by his damn self, but not before the last one popped him in the nose so hard it broke.

Breaking a nose always ends up hurting worse than he remembers. Breaking fingers or a hand feels the same-- shitty, but breaking his nose always takes him by surprise. He can feel the skin around his eyes swelling and he closes them, sighing as the frozen peas start to do their job. He has no fucking idea how he and Deku don’t have a damn ice pack, but this fucking works too.

Just as he gets nice and damn comfortable, Deku comes through the front door. He gasps, all fucking dramatic and then wails, “Kacchan! What happened to you!”

“Something that your loud mouth isn’t helping. I just got punched by a jobless bitch I put in jail. Don’t fucking worry about me.”

“Oh. Just a broken nose?” And that shows just how far they’ve fucking come. Fifteen year old Deku would be fucking crying or something.

“Yeah, fucking fine.”

“Well, that’s good! Maybe now you can tell me why all of our friends think we had sex.”

Bakugou sits up so fast he gets dizzy, the peas falling to the floor with a loud smack. “What the fuck did you just say?”

Deku puts a hand on his hip. He doesn’t look as sunshine and rainbows as normal. Actually, he looks kind of annoyed. “I said, ‘why do our friends think we’re fucking’, Kacchan.”

“Fuck if I know! Why don’t you ask them?”

“I did, and according to Shouto you told him we’ve slept together!”

Bakugou drops his face into his hands. “Oh my fucking god.”

“What? Care to explain, Kacchan?”

“I didn’t fucking mean it like that. I just happened to mention that it was weird as shit that we fell asleep together the other day.”

Instead of responding to the matter at hand, Deku says, “I didn’t think it was weird. Well, maybe weird, but it wasn’t bad.” He brings his fingers up to his mouth like he does when he’s about to start mumbling up a fucking storm. “By that I mean, well, I guess I mean it was nice. It was comfortable- no, not really comfortable but it was just nice. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with friends doing that. One time me and Shouto had to share a bed when we took a trip to the-”

“Deku!” Bakugou growls. “Shut up!”

“Oh, sorry! Um, well, okay Kacchan! I’ll tell them what you meant, or you can tell them, I don’t care. Seems like an easy enough fix.”

Bakugou’s completely annoyed. His head is throbbing and if Deku says another word he’s going to lose it. “Or we could just tell them fucking nothing,” Is what he comes up with, because he does not feel like fucking dealing with this right now.

“Huh, that’s an answer I wouldn’t expect from you, Kacchan. I guess it would be kind of funny, letting everyone think that we were dating! They’d be so embarrassed when we told them that we weren’t.” Deku chuckles to himself. “Shouto’s deduction skills have always been a little, uh, off.”

Bakugou sighs, groaning loudly. “Deku why the fuck would-” Then he stops talking, because suddenly he’s reminded of why he’s in this mess at all. It’s because of Shouto. He was the asshole that told Deku about his old shitty apartment in the first place. Plus he didn’t even give a shit when his dumbass dad suspended Bakugou without pay! Every single problem in Bakugou’s life right now is directly Shouto Todoroki’s fault. A chance to embarrass him would be good, yeah. Play stupid, get him nice and into it and then bam! They can drop the bomb that he’s been wrong this whole damn time when they’re in public or out with their friends. He’d feel so fucking stupid. It’s just absurd enough to be perfect.

“Let’s do it,” Bakugou decides. “Let’s fucking do this. We’re gonna embarrass the shit out of that dumbass Todoroki bitch.”

Deku makes a face. “Uh, Kacchan, that’s a little extreme, don’t you think?”

“Nope! He deserves every fucking second of it.” He stands, because he needs a nap if he’s even gonna think about cooking jack shit tonight. “I’m gonna go the fuck to sleep but when I wake up,” a grin spreads across Bakugou’s face as he speaks. Deku starts to look really, really concerned. “I’m gonna be the best fake boyfriend you’ve ever fucking dreamed of, asshole.”

Deku opens his mouth to speak but it’s too late, Bakugou’s down the hall and shutting his door before he can get a single word out. Muffled by his pillow, he hears Deku say, “Maybe he should get checked for a concussion,” to himself. He’s probably right, but eh, fuck it. He closes his eyes and then falls the fuck asleep.

Chapter Text

“Listen here, Deku,” Bakugou tells him later that night. They’ve ordered take out because Bakugou really thinks that maybe he does have a concussion. He doesn’t really feel up to cooking tonight, but he’s already decided he’ll be fine. He takes a big bite and says, “I have a three step plan to make sure that we kick Shouto’s fucking ass.”

“You should chew before you talk,” Deku says, because he’s a fucking dick. “But go ahead, tell me this plan.”

And that’s how it starts.

Step fucking one: Be seen doing nice shit with Deku in public

Bakugou gets up extra early to make a second lunch. Why? Because Deku’s going to forget it. He and Shouto have patrol today and it’ll be real goddamn adorable for Bakugou to remember it and bring it with them. Deku’s office isn’t far from Endeavor’s, so they can just make their way there and give Deku his bento, Bakugou can gain a hundred fucking fake boyfriend points and then they can be on their way. It’s a flawless plan.

The only thing more perfect than his plan, is the bento that Bakugou’s making for Deku. He’s always liked making them, even if they sometimes seem kind of fucking stupid. He decides that it’s okay if he shapes the rice ball into a dumb little shape since Shouto seems like the kind of fuck that would like that. He bets that Momo shapes his into little hearts or something disgusting. Bakugou decides he’s going to try and make a bunny, but it ends up looking deformed as shit. So then he finds himself on the internet looking on youtube for dumbass tutorials on how to make rice ball bunnies for his fake boyfriend’s lunch.

They’ve been doing this fake dating shit for an hour and already he fucking hates it.

Bakugou’s about ready to throw both his phone, the rice and the next bunny he sees in person out of a window when Deku strolls in to the kitchen. His hair is tousled from sleep, looking like a disaster. He’s topless, with just a towel draped over his shoulders and some faded old, and too-small looking All Might shorts around his hips. He’s maybe never looked worse. Bakugou wonders if he’s getting sick. “Mornin’” He grumbles, obviously half asleep still. He peeks over Bakugou’s shoulder to see what he’s working on. Suddenly, he gasps, wide-the-fuck-awake. “Kacchan! Are you making bunnies? Out of rice?”

Deep down, Bakugou is so, so very pleased that his bunny making abilities have improved from ‘misshapen blob’ to ‘recognizable bunny’ in less than an hour. On the outside, he feels his cheeks heat up furiously before he slams the lid of the bento down to cover what he’s doing, turns around yells, “No!”

Deku gives him a skeptical look. “Oh. They looked like bunnies to me. What are they supposed to be, then?”

“Fucking nothing, stupid Deku. Mind your own damn business.” He’s not doing this for Deku, he’s doing this for Shouto-- or rather to spite Shouto. He doesn’t give a shit if Deku’s rice is shaped into something cute or not, but Shouto probably will.

Then Deku does something really weird. He smiles. His face splits with it, his eyes crinkling at the corners, his bright teeth practically shining. It’s that sunshine smile that Deku has, and Bakugou’s decided it’s far too early for that, so he groans frustratedly and then turns around to make his own lunch. Behind him, Deku says, “Okay, Kacchan,” all sing song and he might not make it out of this apartment alive today. Time will have to tell.

The rice in his own lunch doesn’t look like anything but a round blob from being dropped into the box with a spoon, and that’s more than okay with him.

“Aww, sweetheart, you shouldn’t have!” Shouto says, making grabby hands for the second bento in Bakugou’s hands.

“Don’t sweetheart me, jackass. And this ain’t for you. Why the hell would I ever bring you lunch?”

Shouto kind of pouts. He’s always really loved Bakugou’s cooking, even when they were back at UA. After they figured out how to stand each others’ presence, the two of them often found themselves unable to sleep at similar times of the night. Bakugou found then that more than anything else, cooking helped distract him from what was going on inside his mind. Shouto was often his test subject, trying out new recipes or sometimes, just watching him as he methodically went through step after step until a meal was done. Bakugou cooks a mean cold soba, and Shouto is the only reason why.

They’ve both always had an understanding that they were both haunted by demons, albeit very different ones. They still recognize that in each other now. They do most of their work together, so Shouto knows that sometimes Bakugou has to leave early for therapy or go hide in an alley and shake and panic and cry for a bit until he’s okay again. And Bakugou knows that sometimes Shouto won’t want to return from patrol, or he won’t want to report something to his father that they have to. It happens less and less now, but it still happens. Even after all of these years, Bakugou knows that at times, Shouto is still slow to use his fire. They know a lot about each other, a pretty disgusting amount. Bakugou might even go so far as counting Shouto as his closest friend.

It’s a shame that pretty soon he’s going to destroy him and turn him into a pathetic pulp.

“You made me lunch that one time when I was sick,” Shouto points out, and he’s right. Bakugou had made Shouto lunch for an entire week about six months ago. Endeavor hadn’t given him any time off, so Bakugou had done what he could, which was make shit tons of soup and walk really slowly during their patrols.

“That was only because you were so pathetic, I thought you were going to fucking die. I don’t have time to get to know another hero partner, even though you’re shitty as hell.”

Shouto blinks at him. Then he says, “I feel like you owe me lunch at this point.”

“Not fucking happening, candy cane. This is Deku’s. You know he doesn’t fucking eat if I don’t feed him, ‘cuz he’s three years old, apparently.”

“Oh,” Shouto says, suddenly very interested. He leans back in his chair and raises an eyebrow. “It’s Izuku’s?”

“Yeah. He left it at home, so I figured we could bring it to him while we patrol,” Bakugou answers, shrugging. He’s suddenly very grateful for his weak tolerance for embarassment, because he fucking blushes like a goddamn fool-- adding a completely new level of believability to his story.

“Oh,” Shouto says. His face gets all soft. It’s horrible. “That’s really sweet.”

Bakugou shrugs again, feeling a little lost. “He’s just useless at taking care of himself if I’m not there to make sure he doesn’t exist on instant noodles and thin fucking air.” The worst part is that it’s not even a lie. He’s not sure how Deku made it an entire year living alone.

Shouto hums, considering his next words. Then, he says, “You two seem to be getting along well.”

Bakugou knows that this is the part where he's supposed to say something like, 'We sure are', but in the moment he feels so fucking lost that he just says, "I can't stand him." He immediately closes his eyes and breathes deeply. How the hell is he supposed to say nice shit about fucking Deku? This is impossible. .

Shouto tilts his head. "Is that what you say about everyone you're sleeping with?"

The question takes him so off guard that he's sputtering, turning red again. He can feel himself blush down to his chest and he's gonna strange Shouto right here and right now. "Fuck you," is how he answers.

Shouto laughs at that and Bakugou would like to disappear, just turn into dust right here and right now. "Hey, it's fine not to kiss and tell, I've just always wondered what Midoriya would be like in bed."

"Why" Bakugou questions, because he sure hasn't.

"Oh you know, soft guy with a sweet voice. He sounds like he could be real mean if he wanted to." Shouto says it so easily, so deadpan, that Bakugou is kind of impressed.

He knows that he couldn't do that, talk about sex so freely. For one, he's never fucking had it.

Nobody knows that because it's nobody's business. It isn't like he doesn't want it, he fucking jerks off and shit, it's just that he hasn't found anyone worth doing it with. He's always had better things to worry about than sticking his dick into someone. He still thinks that he does.

But now Shouto's staring at him expectantly like he's waiting for Bakugou to answer, and he knows that he should probably say something-- like give a hint or a clue or literally anything that will prove to Shouto that he and Deku are boning. He thinks back to sleeping with Deku on the couch, which might have been the most intimate thing he's- fuck that train of thought. He doesn't have time for that.

He remembers Deku's bony arms digging into his side and for some unknown mother fucking reason decides to say, "He's rough." He shrugs with it like it's the easiest thing and not like he just implied that he and fucking stupid Deku, his rival, his roommate, his childhood friend and former enemy are having kinky, rough sex.

Shouto blinks at him. "You seem like you'd be rough."

And yeah, he does and maybe he would be if he fucking had ever had sex. "Eh," he says, figuring that it's pretty noncommittal. "Mind your own damn business, Shouto. You’re a fucking pervert."

Shoutos brain seems to be processing at a hundred miles per hour. "Huh," he says, and then he turns around to work at his desk, probably imagining Bakugou and Deku in bed, because he's a fucking weirdo.

Bakugou hates that for a minute, for one single solitary second, he lets himself imagine it too.

Gross. Never again.

After what Bakugou decided was the worst conversation of his entire life, it was finally time to start their patrol.

They walked in the direction of Deku's office. Bakugou knew about where it was, but he had actually never been there before.

"Haven't even been to your own boyfriend's office? For shame, Katsuki," Shouto teases. He's currently punishing Bakugou for not bringing him lunch by eating a delicious pastry in front of him. He had literally ran and bought the thing while Bakugou got stopped by a little kid to take a picture. Bakugou wants to be amused that Shouto can even think he's getting to him, but it looks really damn good and Bakugou hasn't had time to eat lunch yet, so it does make him a little jealous.

"He's-" and then he stops talking, because he realizes then that he and Deku had never decided just how far they were taking this thing. Were they just pretending that they were having sex? Or were they pretending to be dating too? Bakugou had hinted at being a 'fake boyfriend', but they had never set anything in stone. He's never dated before, but he's pretty sure calling someone you boyfriend (or not) is something you ask the other person before hand. What a horrible conversation he’s going to try and do everything to not have. "Shut up, Shouto," he says in lieu of answering. They keep on walking.

Deku's agency is a tiny office on the ground floor of a building. He has the storefront, and then directly above it are apartments and other offices and such. It's a pretty discreet place, with just a sign above the door that says "Hero Deku" in a pretty green color.

The door has a chime on it that dings when you open it. It's such a Deku thing to do that Bakugou finds himself huffing a laugh. He's so fucking stupid.

"Just a minute!" Deku yells from another room.

"Hurry the fuck up, Nerd! We don't have all day."

"Kacchan!" Deku almost hollers. He sounds so, so genuinely happy and excited to know that Bakugou's here that for a second, he forgets that it's an act. He's glad it is. It would be really damn ridiculous otherwise.

Deku emerges from his office with a bright smile on, and a pen tucked behind his ear. He must have been doing paperwork, which explains just how much happier he looks when he sees that Shouto's there too.

"Shouto! Hi!"

"Hi Izuku. I haven't gotten to see you since you both moved in." Shouto and Deku have always been friends, so Bakugou lets them talk and not pay him any mind for an entire two seconds before he interrupts.

"Yeah, yeah, fucking heartwarming. Here, idiot, you forgot your lunch at home." He then unceremoniously sticks his hand out and hands Deku the bag that's holding his bento. It's the opposite of romantic. It's barely even fucking friendly.

Deku, who definitely can see that Bakugou's floundering says,"That was so sweet, Kacchan. I could have bought something."

Deku's eyes are all soft and mushy and stupid and it's not even that different from how he normally looks but it makes Bakugou blush and he immediately starts plotting Deku's murder. He can smother him in his sleep, maybe.

He waves his hand in front of his red face. "You'd either forget or get something shitty from the convenience store."

Deku gives him a knowing grin. "Oh hush. I still appreciate you bringing it though. And making it." He sets the bento down on the small table in the entryway of his office and flicks the lid open. "Kacchan!" He gasps. "You made me rice ball bunnies."

Maybe Bakugou could smother himself in his sleep instead.

"Let me see," Shouto says, actually pushing past Bakugou to look. "Oh wow. You really made rice ball bunnies for Izuku." Shouto gives him this look that's so fucking horrible and everything sucks and this is the worst day of Bakugou's life.

Then, just when he thinks that it can't get any worse, Deku says, "You didn't have to do all this. You're so sweet," and then walks up to him and kisses him on the fucking cheek.

That's it. He's had enough. He's fucking done his duty and he's leaving and maybe never speaking to Deku again or maybe dying right there or ugh. He makes a frustrated groan, and then without another word turns and stomps his way out of Deku's office.

He doesn't even stop to wait for Shouto. He can fucking catch up.

Chapter Text

Step fucking two: Go on a mother fucking double date

Okay, so, this part isn’t Bakugou’s idea. Obviously fucking not because when in hell would he ever want to go on a double date with ponytail and half-and-half? The answer is never. But when Public Enemy Number One innocently looks at you over the lunch table at work and says, “Hey, Momo wanted to know if you and Izuku wanted to go out to dinner with us this Friday. She says it’s been too long since she’s seen him and since you two are together she figured now was as good as ever.” Shouto’s real fucking nonchalant when he says it. Too fucking nonchalant for Bakugou’s taste. It’s suspicious, and if Bakugou’s learning anything over the past few months it’s that you can never trust a Todoroki.

“Whatever,” is what Bakugou had said. “I’ll ask Deku.”

What Bakugou had planned on doing was going home and telling Deku that he absolutely had to be busy or sick or something on Friday night. He’s pretty sure he’d do it too. There’s this new show about this quirkless guy who ends up getting a job at a hero agency on TV that airs on Friday nights and of fucking course the nerd loves it. Bakugou watches it too, but only because Deku buys him pizza. The show’s surprisingly good. This week the quirkless little fucker is supposed to have to infiltrate a drug ring or some shit. There’s no way in hell Deku would want to miss that.

That would have been the perfect plan, had they not ran into Deku during the last fucking five minutes of their patrol.

“Hey, look. There’s your guy,” Shouto says and Bakugou almost answers, ‘who?’ before he sees Deku walking straight towards them, waving like a doofus.

“Oh,” is what he answers instead. He takes a big breath in, preparing himself for the shit storm that’s sure to come. “There he is,” he says with about as much enthusiasm as one would normally muster for seeing their electric bill in their mailbox.

“Hi Shouto! Hi Kacchan!” Deku says, sounding like this is the best thing that’s ever fucking happened to his stupid ass. His smile is so big that it takes up half of his face, which is bigger than normal.

“Hey Izuku,” Shouto greets, while Bakugou just kind of nods. He knows what’s coming before Shouto even opens his mouth and is rapidly trying to develop the ability to telepathically communicate with Deku to tell him to say no. Where the fuck is that purple-haired asshole they went to school with when you need him? “Listen, we gotta run, but Momo wanted me to invite you both out to dinner on Friday. She hasn’t seen you since we graduated and she wanted to now that you and Bakugou are dating.”

“Oh! Yeah! That we are,” Deku answers, nervously chuckling. Oh god he is the worst. He is the worst person Bakugou has ever met. He can’t telepathically communicate or lie. “Sure, Shouto. That sounds great, right Kacchan?”

“Sure fucking does.” Beside him, he can hear Shouto’s snort of laughter.

Deku rolls his eyes, affectionate in a way that’s nothing new and nothing that has to do with their stupid fake dating. “You guys get out of here. I’ll see you at home, Kacchan.” And then Deku leans into him and gives him another, horrible kiss on the fucking cheek.

Bakugou turns bright fucking red, again, because of course he does and then quickly stomps away without another word. He doesn’t have time for Deku or his fucking horrible public displays of affection that are the worst. They’re embarrassing and Bakugou hates them so much.

Shouto, who says an actual goodbye to Deku, catches up to him after a few steps. He’s laughing. “Dear God, Katsuki. You’d think you’ve never kissed anyone before with the way you react when Izuku kisses you. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who hated PDA that much.”

“Mind your own damn business, Shouto,” He growls, and walks a tiny bit faster.

Later that night, Deku walks in the front door and is greeted by the sight of Bakugou sitting on the floor in his pajamas with a pizza box in front of him. He stops in his tracks. “But Friday is pizza night.”

“No,” Bakugou corrects, scowling. “Friday is double date night. Now go get changed. I have to uh, talk to you about something.”

Deku looks a little worried but does, disappearing into the hallway without another word.

See, the thing about Bakugou is that Shouto was exactly right.

He’s never been kissed.

Never having sex is one thing but never being kissed at twenty is so stupid and kind of shameful at this point. Bakugou just figured that he’d fuck somebody and they’d stick their mouth on his and he wouldn’t say another word about it. The other person would just take out all his firsts in one fell swoop. But that never happened and now he’s here, wanting to die every time Deku’s mouth gets near him.

Deku comes back after about three seconds. He’s wearing his stupid tiny All Might shorts and a really soft looking shirt. His hair is all fluffy and curly. He looks stupid. He looks… ugh. This entire thing is stupid. Everything is stupid, but he can’t call it off. He can’t fucking lose. He never loses! He’s not about to let fucking kissing make him start now.

Deku sits with his legs crossed on the other side of the pizza box. He reaches in to grab a slice and then says, “So what’s up?”

Bakugou is frowning so hard that his forehead hurts. “Deku,” he starts. “Shouto thinks I’m weird 'cuz I freak out whenever you kiss me on the cheek.”

Deku shrugs. He waits to speak until he’s done chewing, which is equally parts polite and annoying. “It is kinda weird, if we’re supposed to be dating.” He narrows his eyes a bit. “Are you sure you want to keep this up?”

“Yes!” Bakugou practically growls. “I have to! I can’t lose!”

Deku just nods. “Ah. Everything makes sense now.” And then he takes another bite. Bakugou has no idea what the fuck he’s talking about. Fucking weirdo.

“Whatever. I have to make him think I’m okay with you touching me and shit and you have to help me!”

Deku finishes his slice of pizza, taking for-fucking-ever because he’s thinking and instead of muttering is chewing really carefully. “Are you talking about practicing?”

“Hah?”

“Practicing. Like we can practice touching and kissing and stuff so it looks natural. If Shouto’s gonna be weird about it, then it’s best for us to look like we do it all the time.”

Deku’s right, which makes Bakugou want to disagree on principle. He also wants to disagree because it sounds pretty fucking terrifying and yeah, there’s a whole lot of shit he doesn’t have enough pizza, beer or mental energy to unravel there. He should probably talk to his therapist about it instead of complaining about cats that get stuck in trees, maybe.

But, against his better judgement, Bakugou shrugs and says “Fine. We practice.”

“Okay,” Deku says, kinda quietly. He leans down to get another slice of pizza and when he comes back up, Bakugou can see that his cheeks are pink.

Scratch the original step two. Bakugou has a revision to his master plan.

The new step fucking two: practice all this bullshit with Deku.

The thought of kissing Deku in public makes him kind of want to die, but the thought of sitting here awkwardly holding hands does too, so he says, “We kiss in private, hold hands in public. We can take a fucking walk or some shit.” Maybe Bakugou was possessed by a demon. He thinks he watched a show like that once. People would get possessed by demons and then act just a little bit differently until all of a sudden they were trying to kill you. Maybe his demon just isn’t ready to murder Deku yet. That’s the only logical explanation for why he’s being so fucking cooperative.

A little voice inside his head says, ‘maybe it’s because you want to kiss Deku’.

Now that-

That’s a thought that’s never occurred to him. That’s a thought that sounds horrible and awful but why does it? Bakugou’s known he was gay for years now, so that’s not the reason. Does it sound so bad because he doesn’t want it? Does he? What the fuck? What the fuck?

Deku is kind of hiding his face behind this tiny ass pizza slice, which is funny, but when he moves it to bite it, his cheeks are still pink-- making his freckles stand out even more than usual.

Oh no, Bakugou thinks, I think Deku’s cute.

Just a little though, because objectively, Deku’s attractive. He has nice hair and nice eyes and everybody likes freckles. He has nice lips and he’s very muscular and a good height. He has really strong legs and nice hips and he is objectively attractive, as he said.

This is still about Shouto though, because Bakugou, at this moment has never hated Shouto more. If he wasn’t so out to prove Shouto wrong, he would have never realized that he found Deku fucking cute. He would have never ended up sitting on the floor while looking at Deku’s bare thighs (those shorts are really too damn small), asking Deku to kiss him for practice. Shouto Todoroki is the worst person in the world. Bakugou’s going to start a rumor that he kicks kittens.

“Okay,” Deku agrees. “We should start tonight, then, since we only have a few days. Should we just, dive in? Kiss? Might be easier to just...uh, do that.”

“Yeah,” Bakugou says. He nods his head. “Yeah.” He’s still nodding his head a few seconds after he’s done speaking. He sighs and then blurts out, “Deku I’ve never kissed anyone.”

Deku’s eyes widen, big as damn saucers, and then they narrow with suspicion. “You’re lying.”

Bakugou scoffs. “Why the fuck would I lie about that? That’s embarrassing. I’m twenty.”

“Because there’s no way that-” Deku tilts his head and leans back a little, like seeing Bakugou from a different angle with explain it all. “Really?”

“It’s not a big deal, Deku. I just thought that you should know.” He’s frowning and kind of pouting too, looking at his lap instead of at Deku.

“Oh! Yeah, it’s no big deal, Kacchan. Don’t worry,” Deku tells him. He stutters a bit while he says it, obviously trying to regain his verbal footing. He sets his slice of pizza down and moves to sit up and kneel on the backs of his heels. “You wanna do it though, right? Kiss me?”

Bakugou licks his lips, which feel suddenly so dry, and says, “Yeah.” Then, he quickly adds. “For practice.”

“Right, practice,” Deku says, flashing him a little smile. He breathes in and then sighs, whispering a quiet. “I’m going to be Kacchan’s first kiss,” to himself like he can’t believe it.

Bakugou mirrors his posture, because apparently they’re going to do it right here. He guesses this is a fine spot for a first kiss-- sitting on their living room floor over a box of pizza. Yeah, it’s no big deal so that’s okay. “Shut up.”

Deku leans forward a little, putting his hands on his knees. “Okay.”

“It’s no big deal, stop making it into a big fucking deal.” Bakugou leans in too, like Deku has a magnetic pull that he can’t stop himself from following.

“Yeah”, Deku whispers, leaning in even further, he puts a hand on Bakugou’s shoulder to steady himself, his skin warm. He’s so close now, his breath tickling Bakugou’s face, his eyes big. “It’s no big deal, Kacchan”

“It’s not,” Bakugou whispers.

“I know.”

And then Deku kisses him. It’s.. a kiss. It’s lips on lips. It’s surprisingly soft and warm and nice. Yeah, Bakugou thinks that’s it’s nice. It lasts a few seconds, just a chaste thing and when Deku pulls back Bakugou can’t stop thinking about how nice it felt and then Deku’s looking at him like maybe he didn’t want to stop and then-

Bakugou realizes that he doesn’t want to stop kissing Deku either. So he doesn’t.

He dives back in, reaching his hand up to cup the back of Deku’s neck. It starts out the same way-- sweet and chaste and then Deku’s licking at his lips, pushing him forward. He’s guiding him, which Bakugou hates and appreciates all at the same time. He opens his mouth and Deku slides his tongue inside and fuck, that’s nice. That’s really nice. That feels really good.

Bakugou’s never kissed anyone but Deku before, but he’s pretty sure Deku has no business being this fucking good at it.

He tries to mirror Deku’s motions with his own tongue, move his lips with Deku’s and Deku’s hand slides up into the little hairs at the nape of his neck so he thinks that means he’s doing okay. Deku’s fingernails scratch at the skin there at the same time that his tongue brushes against Bakugou’s own and all of the people making out on the street suddenly seem a little more valid to him (just a little). Deku makes this sound, fuck, this really good sound into his mouth and it’s kind of like a hum and kind of like a moan and Bakugou wants to make him make it again, again and again. So, he bites down on Deku’s bottom lip just to see what will happen and yeah, there it is again, Deku making that pretty noise right into his mouth. Bakugou’s getting kind of dizzy, starting to feel like he’s going to need to come up for air, but before he can, Deku breaks them apart first.

He’s panting, his cheeks redder than they were before. His lips are a bit puffy from where they were pressed against Bakugou’s own. His eyes are wide but lidded at the same time. He looks like he doesn’t want to stop but forced himself to. He looks good.

He looks so fucking good.

Bakugou wonders if he looks the same way to Deku.

Instead of finding out he gets up as quickly as he can and says, “Okay! Goodnight!” because he has had enough and also he has a boner and thinks he’ll actually die if Deku sees it because he’s been through enough bullshit tonight. He practically races to his room and shuts the door.

Outside of his bedroom he can hear Deku laughing quietly to himself and puttering around, probably cleaning up.

Bakugou doesn’t sleep for a long, long time.

Chapter Text

Step fucking three: Actually go on a double date with Ponytail and Shithead-o

They never did go for that walk to practice holding hands, which is why Bakugou’s washed his like, thirty times.

“Kacchan, is this a new nervous habit or something?” Deku calls from inside his room.

“Stop fucking keeping track of how many times I wash my hands, weirdo. But no, it’s not.”

“Well then what is it? I’m not gonna get sick or something.”

Bakugou sighs, and then he says, “No, but you might explode.”

Deku’s head pokes out from the side of his doorway, his brow furrowed. “What?”

Bakugou rolls his eyes, because for someone who’s been obsessed with quirks for his whole life, Deku’s a real idiot about them. “I have explosive hands, idiot. I’m uh…” and then he stops talking, because he didn’t realize how stupid and sweet it sounded until he started talking. It kind of sounds like he almost fucking gives a shit about Deku-- which is the worst thing he could possibly portray right now.

Suddenly, it must dawn on him because his eyes get all big. The rest of his body comes into view as he steps into his doorway. He’s standing in a pair of slacks with his dress shirt open and an untied tie hanging around his shoulders. If Bakugou’s eyes trail down his body, well, it’s just to see what he’s wearing. Coordinating with your fake boyfriend is good.

Deku gives him this knowing smile and all Bakugou thinks is, ‘ugh, fucking shit’, as dread smacks him in the face. “Kacchan. That’s so cute. You’re worried that you’re going to ignite my hand with your sweat!”

“Fuck no,” he says, grimacing, even though that’s exactly what he was worried about.

Deku gives him a very unimpressed look. “Sure, Kacchan.” And then he ducks back into his room to finish getting dressed.

Shouto and Momo want to go eat at what’s possibly the fanciest restaurant Bakugou’s ever heard of, because they’re rich as shit.

A few days ago he had to explain some of the menu items to Deku, because although he’s never been as well off as Shouto or Momo, his family did pretty well for themselves. Deku has developed really simple tastes that are almost child-like. He likes simple dishes and things that are relatively-safe and unadventurous. He also hates vegetables unless they’re mixed in with other things, which is pretty stupid but whatever. So yeah, this fucking place is fancier than fancy and Bakugou is so damn glad that Shouto clarified that they were going to pay before they left work earlier that day or else he’d be stressed the hell out right now. His finances are a lot more manageable now that he’s living with Deku, but his insurance bill is coming in next week and he may have blown the side off of a building yesterday. It was fine. No one was inside of it.

He puts on the nicest clothes he owns (which are nice as fuck, thanks to him actually having a sense of style, unlike shitty Deku) and the nice watch that his parents got him as a graduation gift and looks at himself in the mirror. He doesn’t look too fucking bad, if he does say so himself.

From his doorway he hears a wolf whistle and when he turns, Deku’s leaning against the frame with his arms crossed in front of his chest. “Lookin’ good hot stuff.” Bakugou’s traitor fucking cheeks turn red. He hates this so much. He hates everything. After he bursts Shouto’s stupid bubble he’s going to take a vacation and get as far away from Deku and his massive forearms as he can. This is the worst day of his entire life. Deku smiles when he notices, which makes things even worse.

Bakugou grimaces at him and decides to busy himself by pinning a tiny grenade pin on his lapel. It’s cheesy, but he fucking likes it. One of his sponsors got it custom made for him so of course he’s going to wear it when he’s trying to show off. But of course, since he’s blushing and stupid, his hands start to sweat so he can’t quite get the pin. He sighs, and after a few tries decides that it’s not worth it and sets the pin down on his dresser.

“Here, let me do it,” Deku says. He steps into Bakugou’s bedroom, his dress shoes clicking against the floor like an approaching freight train.

Deku picks up the pin and steps right into Bakugou’s space, like really right the fuck in it. Bakugou can feel his breath as he sticks his tongue out of his mouth to concentrate on the task at hand. That’s when his brain decides it’s a good time to remind him that just a few days ago, he was making out with Deku in their living room, gripping his face and listening to Deku fucking moan into his mouth because he liked it so much.

When Bakugou exhales again, there’s a hitch to his breath. Deku catches it and looks up at him, eyes flicking between Bakugou’s face and his lapel for just a moment before they train back to Bakugou’s parted lips. Deku’s eyes drag up to meet his slowly and for a moment, they just stare. He wonders if Deku’s remembering their kiss too. He wonders if Deku’s having second thoughts about this whole thing, or if he’s wishing he could kiss Bakugou again right now. Maybe Bakugou wouldn’t mind that, just kissing Deku to kiss him. Maybe he fucking wouldn’t. Maybe-

“It’s done. There you go,” Deku whispers, just loud enough to break them both out of their trance.

Bakugou clears his throat and steps back from Deku. “Thanks,” he mumbles, and with a hum, Deku’s out of his room.

This is going to be a long fucking night.

They ride the train from their house to the restaurant. It’s a completely empty car, which is nice as shit since Deku’s so damn recognizable. They’d have to stop for probably six million autographs because the little shit never says no. Whenever he’s around Deku, Bakugou has to stop and sign shit too because it makes him look like a horrible asshole if he doesn’t. Stupid Deku, always making him look bad. Shouto mostly gets asked for selfies because he’s a pretty boy that has a rabid fanbase of teenage girls. Thankfully, not many of them want Bakugou’s picture too.

They’re sitting in the back of the car, next to each other even though there’s a ton of open space. Bakugou’s looking out the window, watching city lights pass by at high speed when he feels a rough hand wrap around his. Bakugou instinctively pulls it away, and it takes him an entire five seconds to put it all together.

Oh. Deku was practicing.

“Stupid,” he whispers under his breath and then he takes Deku’s hand again, wrapping the fingers of his left hand through Deku’s right. Deku huffs a tiny laugh. And then they both go back to looking out of the window.

They hold hands the entire train ride there. Deku doesn’t explode, but Bakugou does see him try to discreetly wipe his hand on the back of his pants when he thinks that Bakugou isn’t looking.

Dinner with Shouto and Momo is a lot of pleasantries and hugs at first. They have reservations so they get seated right away. Deku immediately gets lost looking at his menu, even though he and Bakugou have gone over it beforehand. This somehow prompts a rich child ceremony of endearment where Shouto and Momo fawn over Deku until he figures out what he wants to eat (he picks the most boring thing on the damn menu). Shouto decides that he hasn’t flaunted enough wealth yet, so he gets some expensive wine and whiskey. It turns out that Momo can drink like a fucking fish, so by the time their main course is served, they order some more.

“This is really good!” Deku says, his entire face lit up, his hand over his mouth as he speaks so that he can retain some semblance of being polite. His cheeks are getting nice and flushed from the booze. It’s kind of funny. Deku’s so obviously not used to drinking good liquor. “Kacchan! Try it!” He gets another bite ready and before Bakugou can say no, he’s grabbing him by the chin and trying to feed him.

Ah, yeah, this is one of those things that couples do, Bakugou guesses. He opens up and takes a bite, except for Deku’s kind of uncoordinated right now so some of it gets on his cheek. “Whoops,” Deku says. He wipes the corner of Bakugou’s mouth with his thumb and then pops it into his own mouth, sucking it clean.

Is that something that people should find hot? Because Bakugou found that really fucking hot. Maybe it’s the alcohol, because suddenly Bakugou’s face feels hot and flushed too.

When he turns around to face Shouto and Momo again, Shouto’s giving him a look. It looks rather impressed. Bakugou grins at him and smug as ever, decides to wrap his arm around the back of Deku’s chair. This is going fucking fantastically. Bakugou is the fucking best at dates.

The meal goes well. The conversation flows just as well as the alcohol. The food’s fucking great. Shouto whips out a fancy looking credit card like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. By the time they all leave, Bakugou and Shouto are drunk enough to fucking hug each other, which means that Deku’s practically sobbing into both Momo and Shouto’s arms saying that he’s so happy or whatever. He’s an annoying fucking drunk. Bakugou’s known this. So he gives them one last final wave and then drags Deku away by the hand. He doesn’t let go as they walk to the train station. He’s feeling pretty buzzed too, so it only makes sense that it’s to keep them both steady.

It only makes sense that his brain’s shut down just enough to do what he wants.

Deku practically sits on him on the train (which is empty again, thank god). He does some cute shit, like nuzzling into Bakugou’s neck and wrapping his arms around Bakugou’s middle. He’s feeling really damn overwhelmed. He’s feeling really fucking...happy.

He decides that for tonight, he’ll let himself believe that it’s all real.

It’s practice, for when he does find someone that wants to be with him. That’s how he rationalizes it. There will be someone eventually, maybe.

He leans his head down into Deku’s hair and rests it there, in his curly mop. He breathes in and Deku still smells a little like how the bathroom smells after his showers-- like mint and flowers and fresh soap. It’s a Deku thing, one of the hundreds if not thousands of things that he’s come to associate with Deku, or learn about Deku in the fifteen years they’ve known each other so far. He wraps an arm around him to keep him from sliding away with the rocking of the train, and places a kiss atop his head.

Deku laughs sleepily. “Kacchan’s so sweet.”

“Shut up nerd.”

.

Deku perks up quite a bit and seems to really sober up by the end of the train ride, and he manages to detach himself from Bakugou at their stop. This time, it’s Deku who takes his hand as they walk the few minutes back home. They don’t speak. They don’t need to.

Deku stops him when they’re outside of their apartment building. “Wait.”

“What?” He pulls on Bakugou’s hand so that he goes stumbling back a little. When he stops, Bakugou finds himself toe to toe with Deku.

“It’s the end of our date.”

“So?” Bakugou says, shrugging. “We live together.”

“I know, but don’t you think we should, I don’t know, finish it off?”

Bakugou frowns. “What do you mean?”

“It’s our first date.” Deku rubs the back of his neck. “And I think it went well.”

Bakugou forces himself to focus on what he knows. Just the facts, just the facts. It may have been a first date, but it’s not anything more than that. It’s okay, it’s fine-

Suddenly, Deku blurts out, “Kiss me.”

“What?”

“It’s the end of the date, you’re dropping me off home. Kiss me, Kacchan.”

Well, he doesn’t need to be told three times. He takes that last step in, cupping the side of Deku’s face with his hand and pressing their lips together. Deku’s hands go to his hips, humming, sounding pleased as he kisses Bakugou back. It’s just like the last time. Deku’s the first one to ask for permission to move it along, to ask Bakugou to part his lips and flick his tongue inside of them. Their tongues brush together and this time, it’s Bakugou that makes a sound first-- something inside him so fucking satisfied so fucking suddenly.

It seems to set Deku on fucking fire, because within a second his teeth are sinking into Bakugou’s bottom lip and his hand is cupping at the back of Bakugou’s head and the kiss is just that much rougher, just that much more intense. Bakugou feels dizzy but this time he doesn’t want to stop. He doesn’t think that he can. One of his hands slides down Deku’s body, down his lower back to his ass-- his fucking perfect, round ass that Bakugou’s been pretending he didn’t want or look at for years, maybe. Deku gasps when Bakugou’s hand squeezes and he pulls them apart. Before Bakugou can even start to worry, Deku says, “Inside.” His voice is so fucking breathless.

Bakugou nods, “Yeah.”

They run up the stairs, both racing and fucking laughing like they’re playing tag in kindergarten again. Bakugou gets to their door first and pulls his keys out of his pocket, his hands shaking and sweating with everything that’s going on. Deku doesn’t seem to mind how long it’s taking, instead busying himself with placing bites and nips to the side and back of Bakugou’s neck-- which isn’t fucking helping. He’s leaning his entire body over Bakugou’s, his hands travelling down Bakugou’s stomach to brace himself. Deku’s tongue his this spot behind his ear and Bakugou just stops trying. He places his hands flat on the door and tilts his head to the side. His breath hitches when Deku does it again and shit, maybe the hallway wouldn’t be a bad place to lose his virginity, right?

Deku doesn’t even stop his barrage when he plucks the keys from Bakugou's hands and unlocks the door seamlessly. Bakugou doesn’t have it in him to be even a little bit embarrassed, he’s too turned on to care.

They stumble through the apartment door in one heap of limbs and teeth and breath and Bakugou’s suprised he managed not to fucking trip with how fast he’s spun around and slammed against the closed door. Deku’s eyes are practically glowing and for the briefest of seconds-- Bakugou swears he hears the crackling of Deku’s quirk in the air.

He knows his own eyes are big. They’re both panting. “You’re so,” Deku starts. He shakes his head a little, trying to find the right words to say. “You’re so-- ugh,” is what he settles on. Bakugou doesn't have time to ask him what he means or to get mad at him because Deku’s lips are back on his, pressing so tightly against them that Bakugou couldn’t speak if he tried.

Bakugou’s hands go to Deku’s ass again, since he didn’t get enough of it the first time. It’s round and muscular in his hands with just enough softness to dig his fingers in and fuck, shit, yeah that’s really good. Deku groans into his mouth all high-pitched and one of his hands starts snaking its way to the front of Bakugou’s clothes. For a second, he fucking panics like the prude that he is but then Deku just pulls his shirt from his pants and that’s okay. Deku sneaks a hand up his shirt, like he’s a girl and he’s trying to feel her up or something and it’s good. Yeah, it’s really fucking good. He drags one of his fingers against Bakugou’s abs slowly. It’s probably supposed to be sexy, but Bakugou’s really fucking ticklish.

So he ends up giggling like he’s a four-year-old girl.

Deku’s hands freeze in his tracks for a moment and so do his lips. Bakugou’s smiling too much to be kissed anyway, cuz he’s fucking ticklish and he’s ruining everything, oh god.

Then the little shit does it again. Bakugou giggles again involuntarily and then grabs at Deku’s hand to stop him, yelling, “Hey!”

Deku’s mouth still hasn’t left his so it comes out really garbled, but then he’s smiling too and the two of them are just smiling into each other’s mouths with their hands tangled up together underneath Bakugou’s shirt.

Deku sighs and then removes his hands. He grabs onto Bakugou’s and pulls him along. “You comin’?” He asks.

Bakguou doesn’t know where, but Deku looks so good, so beautiful that at this moment, he thinks that he’d follow him anywhere.

They keep having to stop as they walk to the hallway to kiss, because for some reason it’s god damn impossible for Bakugou to have his lips off of Deku’s for more than a few seconds at a time. Right outside of the bathroom, Bakugou pushes him into the wall, careful to miss a framed picture of their high school class that’s dangerously close to Deku’s head. He holds him still and leans into him, because if Deku can do this shit-- he can do it twenty times better. He kisses Deku roughly, biting at his lips. Deku seems to love it and he loops his fingers into Bakugou’s waistband to pull their hips flush and oh.

Oh

Deku’s hard.

Bakugou did that. Bakugou did that.

So many fucking things make sense. Suddenly his idiot friends who seemed to do nothing but think about sex for years don’t seem so idiotic anymore, because the power he feels right now-- grinding his hips down into Deku and listening to him make that pretty little moan as his fingers grip into Bakugou’s shirt like he can’t get enough-- makes him feel almost as powerful as his damn quirk. Almost.

Deku pushes him away and before Bakugou can wonder why, grabs him by the hand and drags him inside of his room. He pulls Bakugou to him again, kissing him, fucking kissing him again. He just can't get enough. Neither of them can.

Deku pulls back and then pushes Bakugou. He pushes him so hard that Bakugou lands on the bed before he can stop himself from doing so. Deku climbs on top of him in one swift motion, straddling Bakugou with those fucking amazing thighs, shit. Bakugou's hands come up to touch them. He does, and Deku's hips give an aborted jerk that has them both rubbing together, that makes them both moan.

Then, all at once, it’s like they come out of the fog. The spell is broken. They both manage to get a little blood back to their brains from their dicks because suddenly, so fucking suddenly Bakugou finds himself under Deku with his eyes wide-

And he realizes he’s fucking terrified out of his mind.

Deku realizes it too, not needing to ask what happened or what’s going on. He can just tell what Bakugou’s feeling-- which has always infuriated the living fuck out of him, but now he’s thankful for it. He doesn’t know if he has the words to say what he would need to otherwise.

Deku slides off of his lap and it might be the worst damn thing that’s ever happened to Bakugou, as much as he’s thankful for it. He flops on his side next to Bakugou and leaves one leg slung over Bakugou’s, keeping him close. Bakugou’s hand stays on Deku’s thigh, which is so damn good, but then everything gets really fucking shitty, because now’s the time they have to start talking.

Bakugou may be inexperienced. He may be an idiot when it comes to love, or romance or whatever the fuck else, but he knows that this isn’t practice anymore.

By kissing outside of their apartment, they’ve removed the word ‘fake’ from whatever ended up being behind it (they never did decide). This isn’t a game anymore. It’s not for Bakugou, and he can tell that it’s not for Deku either, not with the way that Deku’s fingers are running through his hair. His touch is so gentle and his eyes are big and kinda sad-- like he expects Bakugou to say something that’ll end everything right here. Bakugou realizes then that Deku’s looking at him like he’s going to go away forever. Deku had looked at him like that before, once. It was on their graduation day, when suddenly the most consistent thing the both of them have known since they were five damn years old ended. Since his first day of school, Bakugou has seen Deku’s stupid face everday. When they graduated, the guarantee on that stopped.

Deku had looked at him like that then, like he was trying to memorize exactly what Bakugou looked like so he could furiously scribble it in a journal the first second he had a chance to.

That’s the same way he’s looking at Bakugou now.

This is so fucking much. A week ago Bakugou didn’t even know he fucking wanted any of this and now he’s here, staring at Deku and trying to find the words to say things he doesn’t even know how to express. He doesn’t know what the fuck he wants. All he knows is that he doesn’t want Deku to move. He doesn’t want to have to go back to his own room. He wants Deku’s mouth back on his, and his hands too. He wants… whatever the fuck this is, whatever bullshit this has turned into to keep going. This is so much. This is so damn much.

That’s what he ends up saying, quietly as he looks into Deku’s green eyes. “This is so much.”

Deku frowns, tilting his head to the side. “What is? Do you want to stop?”

“No,” Bakugou says. The answer comes easily, slipping out between his lips before he knows what’s going to follow it. He takes a damn minute to think and Deku waits, just looks at him curiously in a perfectly Deku way. “I don’t. That’s it, I think. I don’t want to stop.”

Deku's whole face breaks then, and for a terrible moment, Bakugou thinks he's gonna cry. He starts talking again, hoping that he won't. "I don't want any of this shit to stop." Bakugou feels like he's standing at the edge of a cliff. If he jumps, he and Deku will never be the same. There won't be any coming back from what he wants to say.

It's a good thing he's never been afraid to fall, he guesses. He sighs and then says, "I don't want it to be fake either."

Deku's mouth falls open for a moment before he gets a hold on himself and closes it. "What do you want it to be?"

Bakugou doesn't fucking know. He doesn't know and he can't think, not when he's still kind of hard and Deku's thigh feels so good under his palm. "This is all so damn much," he says again.

Deku smiles then, fucking cute, fucking stupid. He says, "Then let me do something that I know will make you feel good."

He sounds like his voice was dripped in sex-- tempting and so unlike anything Deku's ever said to him before. Bakugou feels his traitor ass face blush, but he doesn't mind it this time. "Okay," he says. His voice is shaky and he hates it. "Yeah."

"Okay." Yeah, now Deku's voice sounds like if you took sex and then dipped it into sugar. It's fucking dangerous. Bakugou wants to hear more of it.

Deku kisses him then, which is something they've been doing all night. Bakugou can handle this, he knows what to do know-- or at least Deku hasn't told him he's awful, so he keeps doing what he's been doing. He kisses Deku back and licks at his lips, sliding their tongues together. Deku's moving then, getting himself on top of Bakugou once more. He keeps their lips locked together and undoes the buttons of Bakugou's shirt one by one. He slides Bakugou's tank top up when he's done and drags his fingers up and down his stomach. Bakugou manages not to laugh this time, and he's really damn glad for it because then Deku's going for his belt.

Oh. Oh fuck yeah.

He undoes it, and then undoes Bakugou's pants too and they finally have to stop kissing so that Bakugou can slide them off. When he settles back into the bed, he knows that his cock is tenting in his underwear and he wants to care, he really fucking does. But Deku's looking at him like he's his last fucking meal and all of a sudden Bakugou realizes that he doesn't have it in himself to care. Not when Deku's looking at him like that.

Next, Deku’s lips travel down from his face to his neck. He licks at Bakugou’s neck and it’s even better than before, when he was teasing Bakugou outside of their apartment. He gets a spot right behind Bakugou’s ear and the noise that leaves him is so fucking loud and so fucking embarassing. “Like that?” Deku whispers against his skin, voice husky as hell. Bakugou doesn’t think he’s capable of speech right now, so he just nods. Deku does it again, placing an open-mouthed kiss to that same spot. Logically, Bakugou feels like this should tickle or feel gross or something but holy shit, having Deku’s mouth there is maybe the best damn thing he’s ever felt. God, he fucking hates Deku so damn much.

He goes from hating him to loathing him real fucking quick because Deku bites him the next time he dives in, his teeth sinking into Bakugou’s neck deliciously. Bakugou keens, his body arching up into Deku’s to try and get more. Deku’s bitten him so hard that he’s pretty sure he’s going to have a damn mark tomorrow. The thrill of that, the thrill of being so visibly Deku’s, fucking claimed or some shit, makes Bakugou shudder.”So good,” Deku tells him. Bakugou doesn’t know if he means what they’re doing in general or Bakugou, but he does not know how to fucking react to that. Holy shit.

Deku starts moving down his body, biting at his collarbone before moving to his chest. He stops to suck a mark at the swell of Bakugou’s pec and Bakugou gasps, his fingers wrapping through Deku’s curly hair. This is all so fucking much.

Deku moves to his nipple and fuck, shit. Okay, yeah, Bakugou would have never thought that he would be sensitive there but he is, holy shit he is. Bakugou cries out so loudly his voice cracks, his hand tightening in Deku’s hair on instinct. His back arches into Deku’s mouth, needing more. He fucking needs more. “Do that again,” he commands. He can barely recognize his own voice in his ears.

Deku swears under his breath, but he does as he is told, swirling his tongue around Bakugou’s nipple again. Bakugou hates how loud he’s being but he can’t stop. He can’t. Then Deku bites down and fuck. Fuck.

He almost comes right there.

“You gotta stop,” he breathes. His chest is heaving. He can feel himself flush, and he knows that he barely knows a damn thing but he’s pretty fucking sure he shouldn’t be close from having his nipples licked a few times. Should he be embarrassed? Fuck it. What-the-fuck-ever.

“Why? You okay?” Deku’s face is suddenly so serious, his brow all furrowed up and concerned.

“Yeah, I’m, uh, it’s so good, Deku. It’s too fucking good, I-”

He’s not gonna be this easy forever. He’s just overwhelmed, is all.

Deku’s eyes widen with understanding, then he grins. The fucking asshole grins with a cockiness that Bakugou’s never seen on his face before. It doesn’t have any business being that sexy. Deku doesn’t have any business being this sexy. If he doesn’t do something soon Bakugou’s going to start begging and he doesn’t think he can come back from that. He’ll have to murder Deku to make sure that not even one single soul has ever heard him beg to come like a little bitch.

“Don’t worry, Kacchan. I’ll take care of you,” Deku tells him, still with that damn grin plastered all over his stupid face.

Then, without any warning, Deku reaches down and palms his cock.

“Oh shit,” Bakugou wheezes. He had a feeling that things were going in that general direction but to actually feel it is something else.

“Yeah?” Deku asks, always so polite.

“Yeah,” Bakugou says, because that’s the only thing he trusts himself to say.

Deku strokes him through his underwear and it’s good, it’s really damn good. Pleasure's shooting up and down Bakugou’s spine. He closes his eyes with it, moaning and biting his lips to try and keep himself quiet. He doesn’t open his eyes again until he feels Deku’s hand leave his cock and hook into the waistband of his underwear.

Deku raises an eyebrow in question, and without a second of hesitation, Bakugou nods his assent.

Deku slides off his underwear, allowing his cock to spring free, hard as shit and flushed. Deku looks at him like he’s about to start drooling, muttering a quiet, “Shit,” underneath his breath. Why is Deku cursing hot? This is so fucking stupid.

“If you want me to stop,” he says, voice careful. “Just say so.”

“Okay.”

And that’s when Deku takes his entire cock into his mouth in one go.

“Holy shit!” Bakugou says, way too fucking loud, probably. It’s not his fault. Fuck, this feels good. He doesn’t ever think he’s felt this good in his entire life. Deku moves his mouth up and down on Bakugou’s dick. His eyes have fluttered shut, his eyelashes long and dark on his face as his mouth works. It looks so fucking good all spread open, taking Bakugou’s cock inside it again and again. “God damnit, Deku,” Bakugou moans, sliding a hand into Deku’s hair. He doesn’t know what to make of any of this, but he knows it feels good. He tells Deku so. “Feels so fucking good.”

Deku’s eyes open and look into his and that’s worse. That’s so much fucking worse than before. Deku’s eyes are hot and lidded and his pupils are fucking blown. He’s turned on by this, a faint pink dusting spreading across those freckled cheeks. He moans around Bakugou’s cock- oh shit. That feels fucking- Bakugou’s brain turns off and he stops being able to do anything but lay there and grab Deku’s hair and moan. It starts to feel so fucking good that he can’t help but shift his hips. He goes too far and Deku chokes, pulling off and shooting Bakugou a glare. “I’m-” Bakugou starts, trying to apologize but Deku’s back down on his cock before he can even get the sentence out. When Bakugou tries to thrust his hips up again, he can’t. It takes him a moment to register the faint crackling sound in the room.

Deku’s using his fucking quirk to keep Bakugou still.

That’s the hottest thing he’s ever fucking seen.

It’s a little ridiculous, how quickly Bakugou comes after that. He gets a little overwhelmed with just how fucking powerful Deku is, along with how good his mouth feels and suddenly his orgasm is up on him in a rush. “Gonna come,” he rasps, expecting Deku to pull off, but he doesn’t. Instead, Deku keeps his mouth still and sucks as hard as he can as Bakugou shoots down his throat. Deku swallows it all and Bakugou watches, transfixed. This can’t be real. It’s too damn good.

It gets better because Deku’s climbing back up his body again and his hard cock brushes up against Bakugou’s skin. He feels big and thick- fuck.

“Can I kiss you?” Deku asks. His voice is a little raw from sucking Bakugou’s dick and he nods before he can think better of it.

He can taste himself on Deku’s tongue as their mouths move and he doesn’t know if that has any business being as fucking sexy as it is. Deku’s making these little moans, shifting like he really wants to come. Bakugou takes the fucking liberty of snaking his hand between them, down Deku’s pants. His hand brushes against Deku’s dick and he breaks apart enough to say, “Yes. Please, Kacchan, oh God,” in the sluttiest voice Bakugou’s ever heard. There’s something about that stupid nickname that becomes overwhelmingly hot now.

Bakugou gets his hand inside Deku’s underwear and his cock is so hard, so hot and fucking big as hell when Bakugou wraps his hand around it. He strokes it up and down just like he would himself. Deku’s dick is wet from precome and it makes a slick slide. They kiss-- or you could call it that. It’s more like Deku makes these amazing whimpering sounds into his mouth. Bakugou wants to swallow each and every one up. They’re better than the little moans he makes when they kiss. They’re the best thing he’s ever heard, maybe.

It doesn’t take long before Deku moans, full on and then comes, dirtying up Bakugou’s hand and his underwear.

Bakugou takes his hand out and makes a face at the mess. Deku laughs at him a little and then hands him a towel from the laundry basket to wipe himself clean.

He feels like he should be saying something or doing something because this, fuck, this is huge. This changes everything.

Deku climbs back into bed in his boxers and nothing else. Bakugou sits up and strips off his shirt before flopping back down. Then, it’s just the two of them, lying there mostly naked in Deku’s bed after fooling around for the first time. Deku looks at him so fucking soft, his eyes all sappy and stupid. He reaches out and brushes some of Bakugou’s hair from his forehead. Bakugou decides to put his hand on Deku’s thigh, because it’s a really good spot. He strokes the skin there and sighs. Then, he says, “Deku…”

“Shh,” Deku says, placing a finger on his lips. “We don’t need to do this tonight. We shouldn’t do this tonight. Tomorrow, after we get home from work.”

“Okay,” Bakugou agrees. This is still so damn much. He can stand to put off bearing his soul for another day.

With that, Deku tucks himself into Bakugou’s body, and Bakugou pulls him close. Together, they fall asleep, and something inside Bakugou’s chest clicks into place.

Chapter Text

It takes Bakugou a moment to remember exactly where he is. Maybe it’s the big green tuft of hair that clues him in. Deku’s so warm, hugging him like a damn koala bear. It’s a sunny morning and it streams through the windows since Deku’s bedroom gets the best morning light. This is so unlike the first time they slept together. There aren't any bony elbows digging into his side. This is just comfortable and sunlight and the smell of Deku's shampoo under his nose.

He sighs and Deku shifts, putting his head on Bakugou’s chest. Deku lets out a pleased humming noise, like a damn purr or something. He looks really comfortable. For a moment, Bakugou curses the fact that he can't sleep in for shit. Just a moment though, because while all the lazy extras are out there sleeping until noon, Bakugou's kicking major ass. Yeah, he isn't soft or anything. Fuck all that.

Bakugou leans down and kisses the top of Deku’s head, because that’s something he can do now, if he wants to. He's not soft, he swears. He's not, but everything feels good, shockingly good.

Bakugou thinks that this might be the best day of his entire life, and he hasn’t even gotten out of bed yet.

Eventually he does, because he's got work in a couple hours and he needs some breakfast. He decides to make Deku some too, and just as he's cracking eggs into a pan, two strong arms circle his waist and a very sleepy Deku presses up against his back.

Bakugou feels his heart flutter, so he says, "Hey, asshole. I could have burned myself, but it doesn't work because his voice comes out so much softer than normal. This is terrible.

"Mmm," Deku mumbles into his shoulder. He presses a kiss there, then he says, "Call out of work."

Bakugou snorts and carefully flips the eggs, trying not to jostle his new appendage too much. "You're telling me to call out of work? You, of all fucking people? You don't even know how to take a day off."

"Lets just say I have a new incentive to stay home." It's a stupid, cheesy thing to say but it makes something inside Bakugou's chest clench up. He takes a shuddering breath, releasing it into the morning air.

"You're fucking stupid," is what he comes up with. He's not wrong. Deku's a Goddamn idiot, hanging off of him like he doesn't weigh an entire ton. "And you're damn heavy." That just makes Deku chuckle against him.

He manages to free himself from his green-haired human backpack enough to plate their breakfast and pours them both tea. Deku seems to realize he needs a second to breathe, because he eats his breakfast on the opposite side of the couch from Bakugou.

Deku finishes chewing, politely puts his chopsticks down. Then, he says, "So, will you call out?" He looks real hopeful when he says it, like a damn puppy hoping you'll adopt it from the shelter.

It's a tempting thought, Deku's dumbass puppy dog eyes aside. Bakugou's life feels like it's been flipped upside down and spun around on high speed in a blender. This time last week he swore he felt nothing for Deku besides annoyance. Now, he looks over to him and his stomach turns over, fills with butterflies. Bakugou likes Deku. He like likes him. A whole ass crush.

What the fuck?

It's enough to make him start laughing. It bubbles up from the bottom of his stomach until it's spilling from his lips. He holds onto his stomach, he's laughing so hard. Deku gives him a pretty weird look. "Kacchan? I just asked-"

"I know, asshole," Bakugou gasps between laughs. He scoots over until he closes the distance between them, leaning into Deku's space. He wraps his arms around Deku and pulls him close, and he's flooded with a memory of them when they were little kids. "Remember when we used to watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? When we'd get under my big red blanket and sit shoulder to shoulder?"

"Yeah," Deku breathes, quiet. Bakugou can see the memory filling him, how his face changes with it, how a smile flickers across his lips.

Bakugou laughs again, and then he presses his mouth on Deku's, giving him a kiss. It's their first in the daytime and they both kind of melt into it. Deku's hand goes to cup his jaw, his scars rough on Bakugou's face. Fuck, Bakugou wants to spend a lot more time kissing Deku, but he knows he needs to go to work.

He breaks them apart and keeps their foreheads together. "It's fucking funny how shit goes." He heaves a sigh and admits, "I have a meeting today."

Deku frowns. They're close enough that Bakugou can't really see it, but he can feel Deku's forehead crinkle up against his own. "Who schedules a meeting for Saturday?"

Bakugou scoffs. "The number one hero that doesn't have to attend the meeting."

Deku hums, kisses him again and then pulls away with a finality that makes Bakugou ache a little. "But after, it's me, you and whatever we want to do. Got it, nerd?"

Deku smiles. "Got it."

Deku gives him a goodbye kiss that's so fucking nice that's he spends the entire trip into his office cursing the great hero Endeavor's name. He could be at home getting his dick sucked right now, but nope! He's walking his damn way into his office for some safety and security training. Apparently it's mandatory for everyone else so at least Shouto will be there. He'll probably be hungover too. He and Momo were both pretty slammed last night. Serves him right, fuckin know-it-all asshole. Bakugou thinks he's going to stop and buy him a coffee.

Said know-it-all asshole does indeed look hungover as shit. He's slumped over a cup of coffee when Bakugou slides a fresh one over to him. He looks up at Bakugou, his eyes practically crossed for a moment before he blinks and refocuses them.

"Yo, what the fuck, man?" Bakugou says by way of greeting.

Shouto grunts at him and lifts the coffee in thanks, but then his eyes narrow and suddenly zoom in on a spot on Bakugou's neck.

Oh shit. He has a hickey.

He has a hickey and he forgot to cover it up. Bakugou slaps his hand over it and gives Shouto a glare that he hopes says, 'Mind your own business.'

Shouto gives him one back that says, 'The hell did you do last night?' but maybe it's 'Why didn't you wear a scarf?' Bakugou's not exactly one-hundred percent sure he's translating Shouto's staring language correctly.

Then, someone at the front of the room clears their throat. Bakugou guesses he's saved, for now.

Somewhere between 'civilian sheltering' and 'personal wound care' Bakugou drifts off.

Why would it matter if Shouto saw his hickey? It's because of him that he they started this dumbass fake dating thing anyway. Okay, so it wasn't dumb. In fact, it was one of Bakugou's best ideas to fucking date, mark that down, jot it, take note, whatever.

He had an idea that turned out to give him a boyfriend? Or a fuck buddy? Or- oh fuck it.

It gave him a Deku who gives him head and that he can kiss and sleep with and maybe do some other sexy stuff with too, eventually.

Bakugou Katsuki is a mother fucking genius.

He's going to tell Shouto just how much of a genius he is and rub his dumbass face into it. Bakugou: 1. Shouto: 0. Ha!

A hand whacking him in the thigh snaps him back to the present. Beside him, Shouto whispers, "Bakugou, we're talking about people dying. Please, stop laughing."

Yeah, Bakugou thinks that's fair. His genius can wait.

The meeting goes on for so long that Bakugou actually forgets his initial plan until Shouto brings up the hickey once more.

"You have fun with Izuku last night?" He asks Bakugou, sitting very still (as to not upset his stomach) in his desk chair. He's picking at a bowl of plain rice one grain at a time. Bakugou almost feels bad for him.

"Sure as fuck did." Bakugou says, triumphant.

"Well, I'm glad that you enjoyed going out with us so much. Now I, on the other hand-"

"No. Wait, wait, wait. I fuckin' hated going out with you. Momo was fine, no disrespect. But Friday nights are our Pizza and TV show nights. We watch that quirkless hero show. Deku's a fucking nerd. But fuck, Shouto, do you know how much fucking effort it took to get ready for this stupid date? We had to practice and-"

"Practice?" Shouto asks incredulously. "Practice what?"

"Fuck," Bakugou hisses, because this isn't exactly going the way he planned. "It doesn't fucking matter. What matters is that after, me and Deku had a good ass time and I can't wait to go home to continue it." When he's done talking, he can feel that his face is bright red, but he's pretty proud of himself for saying what he did regardless. He spins around in his chair to try and regain his composure.

Shouto perks up as much as he has all day and says, "Oh! Did you finally get together?"

Bakugou swings back around to face Shouto so quickly that a puff of wind blows his hair. "What did you just say?"

"I asked if you finally got together."

Bakugou wants every single person in Endeavor's office to come to his next therapy session and personally relay to his therapist just how well he handled the bubble of rage that blew up inside him at that moment. Very, very calmly, he asks, "You knew? You knew this whole fucking time?"

"Of course I knew. I may be oblivious, but you are the easiest person to read in the whole city."

Bakugou closes his eyes, and then counts to ten.

"But you really did get together, right?" Shouto asks when he's hit seven, because he apparently has a death wish.

Then, he adds, "Because last year Izuku told me how he had a thing for you and I just want you both to be happy."

Bakugou stops counting, his mouth falling open. "Last year?" he asks, because that's--

"Yeah, last year," Shouto answers, finally risking an entire mouthful of rice. "I'm really happy for you both. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go die of a hangover."

Bakugou leaves work early that day, and hopes that nobody notices.

"Hey! Nerd!" He yells as soon as he gets through the door of his apartment. He's fuckin pleasantly surprised to find Deku still there. He was half expecting him to decide to go patrol or something, but here Deku is, trotting around in his dumbass, tiny All Might shorts that Bakugou is no longer afraid to admit that he loves.

Deku sets a laundry basket down on the couch and pads over to meet Bakugou at the door, his smile bright. "Hi! You're home early."

Bakugou pouts his lips, asking for a kiss because he wants one even though it's only been a couple of hours but he doesn't quite feel pathetic enough to ask for one with words. Deku gives him one. It's real nice.

"Shouto told me something today," Bakugou starts. He loops his arms over Deku's shoulders. Deku's hands come up to grip at his biceps.

"And what's that?"

"He said that you told him you had a crush on me last fucking year."

Bakugou watches as Deku's face cracks open on a smile, a real, honest ear-to-ear thing. His eyes even sparkle with it. "Oh Kacchan," Deku says, laughing a little. "It's been longer than that. I think I've loved you since before I knew what love was."

And that-

That does something to Bakugou because there's so much space in there. There are so many years encompassed in that one single sentence of Deku's-- both good and terribly bad. And here Deku is, stroking his thumbs over Bakugou's arms and smiling like he's the happiest idiot in the world.

Bakugou thinks that maybe he is.

He doesn't know what to say, and he kind of wants to cry. Instead, he pulls Deku into the tightest hug he possibly can and tells Deku, "You're so dumb," as affectionately as he can.

They decide to have a do-over on their Friday night. They order pizza and sit on the couch with a blanket strewn over them. It's just like Bakugou's memory from before, when they were kids, but now instead of an All Might show, they're watching a quirkless hero take down a drug ring (just like the previews said he would).

Quietly, Deku says, "This type of show wouldn't have existed when we were kids." It's not a bitter statement or one that longs for anything, it's just a fact. Deku's right. The world doesn't know that he used to be quirkless, and they never will, but to care so much about such a thing like this show is such a Deku thing that Bakugou can't help but to reach for his hand and press a kiss to it.

There's so many Deku things that make Deku himself. Bakugou realizes now that he not only knows almost every single one, but he likes them too. Well, most of them. He still thinks is ridiculous that Deku can't cook, but that's neither here nor there-- as Bakugou's not going anywhere.

During commercial breaks, they talk.

"Do you know what you want out of this?" Deku asks, smoothing Bakugou's hair out of his eyes. His face is so gentle, and Bakugou wonders how he feels deep down, what he's thinking right now.

Bakugou doesn't really know how to answer the question. He's never been in love, not like Deku, but there's something there. There's something there that makes him want to sleep in Deku's bed and tangle up their legs together and stop being so scared of things all the time. There's something there that makes him want to cook Deku breakfast, lunch and dinner and tell him he needs to rest when he's being hard on himself and then hold him on the kitchen floor if he needs to cry. There's something there that makes Bakugou want to kiss Deku, and touch Deku and let Deku see parts of him that nobody else has seen before. But he doesn't have the words to say that, at least not right now.

Instead he says, "A lot." Then, "You." And with how Deku's eyes fill with tears, he thinks that it's enough.

So now the shitty nerd is his roommate and his boyfriend which is definitely not how he saw his life fucking turning out, but he's not gonna complain, not today at least. Deku's body is warm against his and the blanket around them is soft. He feels himself starting to drift off when a knock on the front door startles him awake.

"I'll get it!" Deku announces, bouncing like a fucking bunny to the door. It's the guy who lives across the hall from them. Bakugou can't really hear what he says, but he hands Deku a letter.

Deku plops back down next to him and says, "Your mail accidentally got delivered next door. Here you go!"

Bakugou knows exactly where the letter is from before he opens it.

It's a hero insurance bill, and this time it's only for forty-thousand yen.

Beside him, Deku hisses.

Bakugou shrugs. "Eh, could be fucking worse." He sets the letter down, and gives Deku a kiss.