Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Darkness. Emptiness. That was all there was. It was the makings of his world. For fourteen years, his world existed of nothing but this.

A small, broken laugh escaped him. Fourteen years, and you'd expect him to be used to it. Expect him to be grateful. He knew nothing better after all.

Except there had to be. There had to be something better than this. Pain, and darkness and suffering, there had to be more than just that. Right?

Wrong. Or else you'd fight back. You'd escape. You're worthless. You're nothing!

His father's words repeated in his head, the bruises and swellings aching at the memory of the beating that came alongside those words. The boy shivered.

You don't deserve to live. I should just kill you, end it all and kill you!

Some days his mind wished he would, when the abuse was too much to bare.

Instead, he was thrown in here, a week at a time. Locked in the dark prison of the under-stair cupboard, the bars of the cage inside keeping him cramped and cold. It was the darkness more than anything that terrified him though. The blackness that closed in on him, that was unforgiving to his sobs and cries. The only relief he had was when his mother opened the door, letting in that blessed light for a moment, a precious moment as she tossed a meagre scrap of food at his feet, before stealing the light from him once again.

Then the agony would take over, and his thoughts would be drowned in his own screams, as his body tore itself apart from the inside. There was no pain like it, no beating that could replicate the burning, roaring agony of his bones snapping and realigning, of his muscles shredding until they reformed. Please! I don't want this!! I don't want to be this!! Please, someone! Anyone! Help me!

His screams would slowly fade into whimpers and whines, his throat burning as it reformed, his whole body blazing hot until slowly the pain ebbed, leaving only short, sharp spasms until they faded too. Then finally, he would collapse in relief, exhausted as the wounds smothering his body throbbed. The relief in his bones as the darkness became clear, his vision finally adjusting, the warm wash of comfort within him as his thick fur protected him from the cold hardness of the ground. As a wolf, he could finally sleep, until the pain swept over him once again.

Eventually his parents would let him out, but the rest of the home was just as much a prison as the cage. Gone were the times when his parents took him on outings, instead leaving him locked within their small apartment, the kitchen door padlocked. The wolf paced restless inside of him, even as a human, desperate for something to burn that anxious energy away, until it's conscious brushed alongside his own. It's destructive behaviour offered a comfort to him that nothing else could, even at the cost of the beatings that always followed, even at the threat of the cage, he couldn't fight it. Alone, he would gaze out of the window, watching, scenting, the world that went by without him, isolated in the knowledge that he would never get the chance to join it.

Until one day, that chance offered itself in the way of an open door.

Yuichiro Amane, bruised and battered, stared out of it, eyes wide as he could finally scent that outside world. There was more... there was more to this life. He could go. He could run, escape this hell he lived in. How long would it be until they carried out their threats? How long until they really did kill him? The world was there, the outside, and anything had to be better than this. And if he died trying, at least it wouldn't be here.

His hands worked seemingly of their own accord as he snapped the lock on the door to the kitchen, grabbing what little food he could find, and yanking open his 'enclosures' door to snatch the threadbare blanket from the cage. He stared at the blood on the walls and floor, swallowed at the onslaught of memories that assaulted him, at the scent of the pain and suffering imbedded into the very bricks and mortar. Whatever life awaits out there, at least I had the chance. And... no matter what happens... it won't be by their hands.

The boy took one last look behind him. Memories of the childhood that was once happy. His father read to him, voices alternating with the characters, his mother smiling, praising and kissing him, both of them proud of their son, reassuring him that he would have a great life. Then madness descended, and he never had that again, only the abuse of his father's fists against his broken body, his mother's screams of hatred as he was reduced to nothing.

I didn't ask to be this way! I'm sorry! I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry! Just please don't-!

Those screams were met with nothing.

Nothing, but silence. Empty, bittersweet silence.

And silence was all that remained, as the door closed shut.

Chapter Text

Exhaustion seemed to weep through his very bones till even the tremor of his shivering seemed to sap out the little energy he had left. Hunger seemed to claw its way from the inside out, until every step seemed a mile. At this point, the goal of his location seemed to fade from his mind, instinct the only thing driving his feet forwards. An instinctual urge for the safety of nature, of trees and soft dirt and escape, but the reality was becoming clear as the days went by. There was nothing here, nothing but yet more roads, more concrete and more people.

People frightened him the most. So many had stopped him, so many had even tried to chase and grab him, and even in his exhaustion fear still drove him, drove him to run until they were far behind. A few had looked at him with something akin to kindness, their voices so soft with concern he’d almost started crying, the terrified child inside of him wanting nothing more than comfort. But then he remembered… Your parents were kind once too. But they didn’t stay kind. You’re a monster, and no one cares about you, no one ever will. You need to get away. Find somewhere safe, away from this, away from them. They’ll send you back.

And some didn’t bother to pretend, dark looks and grins in the dark as they chased him down, sadistic laughter in their throats when they thought they’d cornered him. He was weak, and if he was human there’d have been no doubt; they’d have got him, but his instincts, fuelled by his terror, were sharp as ever. He’d gotten away, and then collapsed a couple of streets away against a dumpster, woken only when the pain of rat’s biting his bruised flesh stirred him.

Yet he continued to stagger on, diving from alley to alley, avoiding people, avoiding everything he could, until he didn’t even know what he was avoiding anymore.

His breathes were wheezes through the crisp November night air, arms wrapped around himself. He’d lost the blanket days ago after one narrow escape with a woman trying to snatch him, eaten all the food in the first day when he’d realised the rats were everywhere and would rip through flesh and clothing to get to it. At first, he’d snarled at them, some instinctive urge to protect what was his like fire in his veins, before recoiling back, horrified. Monster! You’re not human, you’re a beast, you don’t deserve to be alive!

It wasn’t long before he didn’t have the spirit left to even do that. All his energy went into his desperation to get as far away from all of this as he could.

Maybe the beatings were better than this… They were right… there’s nowhere in this world for me… I should never have been born…

But then… his eyes widened, relief flooding his veins. He was at the gate of a park, the sight of greenery almost wrenching a sob from his throat. His hands trembled as he pulled it open, taking some tentative steps in until Yuichiro finally let the exhaustion take over him and his knees gave out.

The soft grass caught him, wet with the night air and muddy, but something about it, even surrounded still by grey still as he was… it offered him comfort, offered his nose some relief from the exhaust and stink of the city. He took a minute to cough, to catch his breath and finally rest.

He raised his arms to his face, scenting the injuries on them and shuddering. Bad… this is bad... He’d had infected injuries before, knew the stark reality it meant for him as he realised that despite his trembling, he was damp with sweat. I… I’m going to die…

The thought sent a sharp pang of reality through him that wracked his chest with further coughs, the reality that despite finding a semblance of the nature his instincts had been screaming for, he needed to be somewhere warm and dry. But as he tried to lean on his arms to get up, they gave out under him, his own muscles betraying him. He choked back a sob, despair and worse… defeat finally washing its cold reality over him.

So, this is it then… I never did find somewhere… Funny that I even thought I would, I guess… They were right all along… I don’t belong anywhere…

He dragged himself to the nearest undergrowth, soft moans escaping him as he crawled his battered body through until he met a dip in the earth. There finally he let himself curl up, hidden away from passers-by by the foliage. Faintly, he thought he heard a rat squeak, furious at the invasion of their territory, but he had little spirit to care anymore. He was as safe as he could possibly be here, hidden away from the rest of the world in this rough cold patch of greenery, that despite his trembles, despite the wheezing in his chest and the fear in his heart, he slowly let himself slip away, let his mind finally after all this time relax.

It was comforting almost. The scent of the dirt, the softness of it under his bruised skin, the sound of leaves rustling was like a blanket, unlike any he’d had before. It all lulled him, tempted him into the darkness behind his eyelids, until finally, the pain and the cold left him.

At least… at least I got away… away from them… and they’ll never get me back…

I’m safe…

It was a brisk sort of evening, the kind where you want a scarf and gloves and the thickest jumper you own, yet it’d taken nearly an hour to wrestle five overexcited children into their winter warmers, and yet even longer to herd them out of the house to their waiting point in an orderly fashion.

“You’d think the director would get her own minibus by now.” Akane tutted, rolling her eyes as she watched the director chase down the easily distracted Taichi for the third time that day.

Mikaela laughed, a bemused expression on his face. “You know they’d never fund for that sort of thing. You’ve got a point though; walking would be quicker than trying to get the kids to stand still!”

It was a similar story now, except rather than overexcited squeals, the kids were moaning, tired and cold and hungry as loud as kids could typically be. Worse still, the director was looking worried as she hung up the phone.

“What’s wrong?” The blonde asked, hoisting a sleeping Taichi in a more comfortable position in his arms.

“Oh, you know, the usual, the minibus is late and won’t be here for another half hour. Goodness, I have no clue what’s wrong with that tutor, arranging these ridiculous daytrips in the city like this in the middle of November!”

Mikaela nodded, glancing over to where Akane was trying to quiet the others. “Half an hour?” he thought for a moment, before smiling, passing Taichi over to the older woman. He raised his voice, filling it was a brightness that got the kids attention. “That’s enough time for us to have a quick game! What shall we play?”

The kids piped up, clamouring all at once.

“Robbers!”

“Tree climbing!!”

“Hide and seek!”

Mika snapped his fingers, smiling. “That’s a great game, especially in the dark like this! I’ll be It, and Akane and you all go hide, but remember the rules, or the game will stop!” The kids ran off, Akane and Chihiro breaking off into their respective pairs with Fumie and Kouta.

“Thank you dear, I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” The director said with a breath of relief, sitting on a nearby bench and wrapping her coat around Taichi. Mikaela smiled and nodded at her.

This was his life, what it had been for the past three years ever since he’d arrived when he was twelve. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

Counting to twenty, he went off into the park, knowing the kids well enough to be able to make a fair guess as to where they’d have gone and purposefully avoiding them, scanning the park slowly and merrily, ignoring the muffled giggles. The blonde gave it a minute before deciding to uncover Fumie and Chihiro’s spot, when something caught his eye.

A seriousness washed over him, his blue eyes narrowing. Was that… No… It was probably just some clothes… right? Mikaela inhaled, cautious, before taking a few steps towards it.

No… that was no pile of clothes.

“Akane get the director!” He shouted, rushing over to the undergrowth. He shoved his way through the bush, eyes wide at the sight before him.

It was a boy, about his age, with matted black hair, filthy and terrifyingly still. The blonde grunted as he pushed aside scratching branches, pulling the boy out of the shrubbery. Out in the moonlight he looked worse, oozing injuries dark through the layer of muck, and he instantly leaned down to listen for a heartbeat.

There. But faint, too faint.

Akane came rushing over, gasping and kneeling beside him. “Is he alive?”

Mika nodded. “Yes, but we need an ambulance, tell the director!” He ran his hands through his hair before putting them carefully on the boy’s shoulders. He almost felt afraid to touch him, and when he did, he swallowed -he was much too cold.

“It’s okay, its okay, we’ve found you, we’re going to get you somewhere safe, I promise, just-just hold on!” He paused, worry and a need to do something filling him, before he shrugged off his extra layers and wrapped them around the boy. "There, you'll warm up soon, they'll get you in the warmth before you know it."

"Mika?"

He turned to see Kouta, standing and chewing on his fingernails. Mika sighed, putting his arm out and open for him. Kouta quickly ran into it, pressing his face into his sweater. "Mika, is he dead?"

"No, no of course not, but he's very sick, so the director is going to ring an ambulance, you know, those bright noisy cars you like so much. He's going to get to go in one."

Kouta blinked up at him. "Will I get to go in it too?"

Mika hugged him closer, taking comfort in the younger boy's innocent calmness. "No, you're going to have to be really brave and listen to me and Akane and the director. You can do that right? You're the brave fierce knight Kouta right?"

He seemed distracted, not replying and turning to look at the boy on the ground next to them. "Mika, if he's... not dead... do you think he's listening?"

The blonde exhaled, sparing a worried look at the boy. He put his hand on his wrist, subtly checking for a pulse just to give himself some peace of mind. He hoped the director would hurry up. "Y-Yeah. He's listening."

Kouta absorbed that, curiosity in his eyes before he stepped away from Mika, looking at the boy. "You're gonna get better. Mika found you, and Mika makes everyone feel better when they're scared and sick. I got sick once and Mika told me stories and took care of me." he reached for Mika's hand, which he took gratefully. "And he'll take care of you too. Right Mika?"

Mika smiled despite the worry in his heart. He squeezed Kouta's hand. "Right. We'll look after you from now on. Cross my heart."

Chapter Text

Yuichiro couldn’t quite decide what it was that woke him up. The beeping? The tingling in his body? The sound of people talking, bustling around? Whatever it was, he felt warm, and pleasantly numb, not the cold kind that came after being beaten until the pain didn’t register anymore, but a comfortable light buzzing in his limbs. It was almost enjoyable, until his eyes slowly gazed open to a room of white.

He blinked them open, frowning, before sitting upright in shock, croaking in pain as he accidently yanked some tubes that were -wait… no… no!

“Easy, easy kid, calm down, you’re safe, no one’s going to hurt you.” A man was standing in front of him, hands held up in what was supposed to be a pacifying gesture.

Yuichiro shrank further away, seeing a threat in the hands so close to him. “Please d-don’t…” he whimpered, pulling at his arms only to cry out at the scratch of the needles in his skin. He glanced at the tubes in horror, desperate to figure out how they trapped him so he could get away.

A woman stood up, a sympathetic expression on her face as she crouched down to his bedside. It did nothing to comfort him -a face at his level was only to intimidate him further from his experiences. “Shh. I know it must be disorientating for you, waking up here. But no one here will hurt you. You’re safe, from whoever did this to you, and it won’t happen again.”

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, biting his lip before breaking out into a coughing fit. The woman didn’t fail to notice that even as he shuddered and choked, his green eyes didn’t leave hers, wide and frightened.

He didn’t look away even as she stepped away to murmur in the doctor’s ear, and desperately tried to listen in. Useless -he couldn’t hear a word over his coughing.

“We’re going to need to know your name, and where you came from, is that alright?” The man suddenly stepped over, and he instinctively bared his teeth before whimpering. Stupid! Idiot, you don’t want to make them angry!!

The doctor received nothing but silence, sighing as he stepped away and nodded to the woman. “We’ll give you some time to adjust.” He said quietly, before leaving, the woman following.

Yuichiro stared at the doorway, finally exhaling with relief as they left. He gazed at his arms, touching the soft white bandages covering them, at his stomach, patched up and connected to something. Subconsciously he scented the room, desperate to have some idea of where he was, but all he could smell was the disinfectant, so strong it felt like it was burning his nose. He glanced at the window, heart sinking as he saw the safety lock on it. His parents had similar ones, preventing it from opening too far. Even if he unhooked himself from the stinking equipment, he wouldn’t get anywhere, and when he focused, he could hear people outside the door.

You’re screwed. Absolutely screwed. They’ll figure out what you are, and when they do… Yuichiro shuddered. He didn’t want to think what would happen. He had to leave, before they did.

He swallowed, breathing deeply as he attempted to swing his legs out of bed. Except… shit… he didn’t have any clothes on, just a gown, no shoes. Nothing. Worse still, when he went to put his weight on his foot, he almost fell off the bed, his muscles completely numb and useless. The jarring motion aggravated his chest, setting the coughing off yet again.

By the time he’d finished choking, he was exhausted, falling back into the bed again, curling into a ball as best he could underneath the covers. The chemical stink burned, but… they were softer than anything he’d ever had before.

A soft knock on the door made him sit up again, teeth bared automatically before he covered his mouth. Why do I keep doing that?! I really am a monster…

The door opened and he went to hide his head again, only to stop when he realised it wasn’t an adult standing in the doorway.

A boy of a similar build to himself stood there, the door closing softly behind him. Blue eyes glanced at him carefully, before casting just slightly away. The ravenette frowned slightly, confused by the lack of eye contact. Everyone tried to use eye contact to intimidate him, yet this boy was avoiding it. It almost made part of him feel a little bit more confident. He sat up, nose twitching. He didn’t smell like anyone else either; caution in his scent and something… he exhaled, nibbling his lip nervously. He couldn’t tell if it was a good thing or not, this unknown scent.

The boy stepped a little closer, before stretching slowly, cracking his arms behind his back and leaning comfortably against the wall. Another strange action, non-threatening and almost relaxed?

“W-Who… Who are you…” he asked, suspicion in his voice as he raised his head to look at him in the eye.

The other only glanced at him for a second before looking towards the window again, smiling ever so slightly. He didn’t know what to think of that either. “Mikaela. Mikaela Hyakuya. Most people call me Mika though. You?”

He glared at him, glancing down at the wires again, wondering if he’d be better off making a run for it.

“Ah right… Sorry, I’m always a bit too casual. I forget what it’s like sometimes. Only you never quite forget.” Mikaela looked thoughtful for a moment, distant, then yawning. “Aha, you caught me at a bit of a bad time. I was having a nap, but you’re probably drowsier.”

“Actually, I’m wide awake.” Yuichiro almost growled, glaring at him almost challengingly. The blonde didn’t even meet his eyes, fiddling with a watch on his wrist instead. He didn’t know whether to be offended or relieved.

“Mm, now that I’m thinking about it, I was the same as you. Well, actually, that’s a lie, I was screaming my head off. They had to sedate me three times before I stopped. Thought I was possessed. You’re taking this pretty well actually.”

Yuichiro did growl then, a savage noise he didn’t even know he could make rumbling out of his throat. Mikaela did look up at him then, surprise in his eyes before lowering his gaze again. That simple act caught the snarl in his throat, confusing him. “Why do you keep doing that.” He grunted, turning away slightly.

The blonde blinked, surprised. “Doing what? Oh, looking down? Ah I had an exam in psychology when I was thirteen. Said something about eye contact and how it reflects passivity. My own experience too, maintained eye contact is usually a threat.”

There was something about the way he said that, almost distantly that made him look up again.

“Besides, I’m not here to intimidate you.”

Yuichiro coughed, glaring. “Then w-what are you here for.”

Mikaela turned to him, smiling. This time crystal eyes met his, almost hauntingly blue. “I promised I’d look after you.”

A faint memory of that voice rose in his mind, disorientating him for a good half minute, eyes wide at the blonde. He did somehow remember that voice, saying those words. Yuichiro went silent for a moment, staring at his hands before mumbling softly.

“Yuichiro.”

“Huh?”

“My name.” He mumbled. “It’s Yuichiro.”

The blonde was quiet for a moment before speaking softly. “Yuichiro… Nice to meet you, Yuu-chan.”

He sat up, spluttering and coughing again. “Yuu-chan?!!”

Mika grinned. “Yeah! I think it suits you!”

“The hell it does!!!” He snapped through his coughs. The blonde only laughed in response.

They sat there for a moment, both of them staring openly at one another. Yuu huffed, nestling further down into the duvet, sulking.

“You’re cute.” Mika laughed.

“Fuck off!” Yuu growled. Mika only laughed more.

“That’s a dirty mouth Yuu-chan haha! You’re gonna have to watch that if you’ll be living with us!”

Yuu frowned, stiffening. His heart raced nervously in his chest, worry chilling him. He shivered. “I-I’m not living with anyone...”

Mikaela suddenly became serious, looking at him worriedly. Yuu turned away, hiding from him.

“They won’t send you back. I promise.” The blonde said softly.

Yuu looked up at him, confused at the sincerity in his eyes and voice. No one had ever spoken to him like that before, not even before, when his parents had loved him.

“Then… Then what’s going to happen to me…” his voice shook, fear and tension in his body as he shivered.

A moment later when he looked up, Mikaela was standing beside him, a soft looking hand reaching out for him. Yuu growled at him, an obvious threat before covering his mouth again, but Mika didn’t seem alarmed this time, merely resting his hand by his side again.

“Well… they’ll hopefully move you in with us. I’m from an orphanage for kids from abused backgrounds. It’s a little out of town, and we have special schooling. It’s safe there.”

Yuu met his eyes, still confused by the honesty in them. “Out of town…?”

Mika nodded. “We’ve practically got the local woods as a back garden.” He said with a smile.

Then… if I go along… if I go there… I can run away… Disappear into the woods where no one can hurt me again…

He hesitated, before the tension finally started to ease out of him, sinking back into the pillows. They felt soft against his aching head, the material smooth against his bruised cheek. “And… you’re sure it’s safe…?”

“I promise. And that’s a Hyakuya promise.” He made a notion of crossing his heart. “That’s what we say there. Cross my heart. That makes it impossible to lie.”

“’M not a kid…” he mumbled, but his voice was softer, his eyes growing sleepy.

Mika smiled, leaning his elbows on the mattress to rest his head. Yuu didn’t growl at the intrusion, only glancing at him tiredly before closing his eyes. “Sure… Do you have a last name? The director will need to know…”

“S’ Amane….”

“Thank you, Yuu-chan… you’ll... you'll have a home soon, and a family, and we’ll all keep you safe, no matter what happens. That's what family do.”