Chapter Text
It's been a week after Jae and Wonpil 'confrontation' . And that whole one week Wonpil mingling with his guilty feeling . Though Jae still being his usual self as always , but Wonpil can't help feeling nervous - scared if Jae just pretend to be ok after all the nonsensical things he spurted out to the older last time . Wonpil know really well how Jae usually bottled up his feeling in order to not hurt other people's feeling .
It's late on the evening , Wonpil still on the studio alone trying to make a new music . But he failed - shockingly . His mind are filled with Jae . He can't get rid of the older's soft voice and loving eyes when he confessed his love . How can Jae be so honest with his feeling ? How can Jae so tranparent and cool with it ?
"Arghhhhh !"
Wonpil stretched his tired body , groaning his frustration out . He randomly pressed his keyboard's key , humming along with the soft melody he created . But then he abruptly slammed his beloved Cindy roughly .
"I love you too hyung ..."
Wonpil mumbled against his arm , his heart ache so much . He loves Jae too . He love Jae so much , but he afraid to admit his feeling openly . All this time he keep suppressed his own feeling , not wanting to risk anything just because his growing love towards the older . It's hurt , but he endured it so well until when not only Jae admitted his love for him but Jae confidently said that he harbour the same feeling as him . It's frightened Wonpil . He can't believed he being obvious with his love until Jae can noticed it . Jae not supposed to notice it , but he did anyway . And Wonpil is confused either he should cover up his own mess and pretend it's nothing or maybe he should come clear and pour up his feeling to Jae ?
Of course you should come clear Wonpil ! What the hell are you thinking ??
"Pil ? Hey , Pil . Wake up ."
Wonpil abruptly lift his head from the keyboard , blinking his sleepiness away .
Oh , i fall asleep .
"You must be asleep for quite long . See , the mark from your keyboard are so obvious ."
Wonpil just stare blankly at Jae , feeling the tenderness of Jae's touch on his face .
"Pil ? Are you awake or not ?"
"Y-yeah . I am . I'm just a bit dizzy from the sudden wake up ."
"Why you here hyung ?"
Why you smiling beautifully like that hyung ?
"I'm looking for you obviously . It's 11pm and you're not home yet . And i guessed it right when i see you sleeping uncomfortably on your keyboard . Anyway , why you crying ?"
"Crying ?"
"Yes , Pil . There's obvious trace of tears on your face . Why ?"
And without his willing , Wonpil is suddenly crying . He hang his head low , sobbing so hard . He just don't care anymore , he so tired . He want to stop hiding , he can't endure it any longer .
Jae pull Wonpil from his spot to sit him down more comfortably on the couch . He took Wonpil face onto his palm , wiped all his tears tenderly . But Wonpil's tears won't stop , Jae's action just make it worst . Wonpil feel so hurt seeing how much loves Jae had for him . He feel so dejected at himself , denying Jae's feeling out of his ego .
"Forgive me hyung , i'm so bad . I hurt you . I shouldn't said thing like that to you . I don't respect your feeling , i'm sorry i'm being selfish ."
"Shh .. shh .. don't cry baby . Please .."
Jae coos at Wonpil , now sobbing onto his palm . Jae could cry anytime at the sight of crying Wonpil but he hold his tears with all of his might . The younger man seriously look so broken and frustrated at himself . It's not like Jae didn't noticed how Wonpil being a bit quiet and distracted this whole week , but Jae decided just to act normal around him hoping Wonpil will come to his sense slowly . Only God knows how hard he refrained himself this whole week from go to Wonpil and hug him and tell him everything is ok so please stop being in slump because i will never stop loving you .
"Pil , look at me . Don't be sorry . Yes i'm hurt , but i'm not mad . It's my fault too . I shouldn't pressured you like that ."
And Wonpil cry even more . He hug Jae as tight as he can , nuzzling his face onto Jae's chest softly . Jae shocked at the suddent act from the younger , but still he turn the hug equally . He rubbing his back softly , comforting a miserable Wonpil . He feel guilty knowing Wonpil being like this because of him .
"I'm sorry Pi-
"Why you being so considerate hyung ? What did i do making you love me so much ?"
"It just i really loves you Pil . Even if you do nothing , i still love you ."
Wonpil heaves a sigh , still hold onto Jae like a dear life .
"I love you too hyung . So much . I love you not just as my hyung , but i love you more than that . I love you differently from the others , i had love you for a long time . I aware of that , but i'm too afraid . I concealed my feeling and endured it as much as i can . But looking at how bold and brave you are with your feeling , i'm wavered . I think i'm a coward , hiding my feeling just because i don't want people find me weird for harbour such feeling toward my bandmate ."
Wonpil stop for a while ,
"Hyung ?"
"Hmm ? I'm listening . Go on ."
"You know , there's a time when i just want to tell you how much i love you . But i didn't . Because when i said i love you , i mean i want it to be serious . Maybe i can't tell the world you're the love of my life , but at least i want my family know about how special you are for me . But it seems so unrealistic to do so . That is why i just keep on suppressed my feeling ."
"When you said you love me , i'm afraid if your feeling just for temporary . I don't want if someday you will just throw me away once the love you had for me fading away . I don't want to be hurt , but that way i'm hurting you instead . I'm sorry hyung , i'm selfish ."
Jae smile , his tears fall into Wonpil's hair . He totally understand the insecurities Wonpil had . He feel so touched at how deep Wonpil thinking about them , about their future together . He pull himself from the hug , just enough for him to look at Wonpil . He chuckled at the sight of Wonpil . He squished Wonpil cheeks playfully .
"Oh my god Pil , you are so adorable to me with all this tears and your messy hair ."
Wonpil jutting out his lower lip , beaming his teary eyes at Jae . Being as whipped as he is , Jae steal a quick peck caught Wonpil off guard . Jae gave a thin smile to a reddening Wonpil . He hug Wonpil back , nestling his chin onto Wonpil's shoulder . He tilt his head a little to make sure his mouth near to Wonpil's ear , before he start singing his line on Not Mine .
"How deep is your love ,
I want to ask ,
Even if it can't be deeper ,
Can't it be the same as mine ."
Jae's voice are so clear , resonating into Wonpil's ear straight to his heart . And Wonpil cry again . He just can't described how he is feeling right now , all he can do is crying . He feel so loved , and having Jae who love him so much is just so magical for him to believe .
"I love you hyung . I love you so much ! As much as you love me . I promise i really love you hyung . I only love you and i will never stop loving you , i swear with my own life . Please trust me hyung ."
Jae can't thank God enough for this blessing . Having Wonpil on his arm , confessing his love sincerely is one of the biggest blessed happened to him . Jae feeling grateful , his feeling is reciprocated by the only man he want in his entire life ever . He moved to kiss Wonpil's forehead and breath in all of his scent .
"Wonpil , i love you more than you can imagined . This will sound so sappy , but i want to be with you forever . I really can't imagine my life without you and i don't think i can bear watching you being with someone else ."
"I never know you this clingy hyung ."
Wonpil showing his most brightest smile , teasing Jae playfully .
"I want to be with you forever too hyung . I don't want being with someone else ."
"Then , be with me . Let's stick together no matter what happen . Let's love each other forever . Deal ?"
"Okay ! Deal hyung !"
Wonpil excitedly answered . He fondly looking at Jae , tracing his finger slowly at his lover face . His heart feel so light like it could floating anytime .
"I love you so much hyung ."
Jae lean in closely to Wonpil , tilting his head a bit and he murmured against Wonpil lip ,
"I love you too Pil . Infinity ."
And Wonpil feel so much loved from the kiss Jae gave him . A slow and unhurried kiss , carefully taste each other lip properly for the first time .
"We are not doing anything wrong , right hyung ?"
Wonpil's eyes fluttering , the feeling of their kiss are still lingering .
"No , we are not . We love each other , it's all that matter . I promise you , we will go through every single things . Be it good or bad . We'll be each other strength , okay ?"
And Jae kissing him again , with so much fervour this time . Wonpil return the kiss with the same feeling , but they both stop before they being carried away . Leaning onto each other forehead , grinning like an idiot .
"We seriously really in love right ?"
Wonpil nodding at Jae , smiling beautifully .
"But , i think our practice studio is really not a good place for us showing each other our love . Don't you think so Pil ?"
Wonpil shyly nodded agreing with Jae .
"Let's go home , Pil ."
Wonpil took Jae's hand , interwining their finger and walking back home hand in hand transmitting all the giddiness they got from each other .
If he had known being in love with someone who love him whole heartedly giving him this kind of feeling , he think he will be confessed to Jae long time ago .
But , it's okay . Since nothing is too late for them .