Work Text:
Logan frowned, looking down intently at the tests he was trying to grade. He’d set aside the workspace, the time, and he had a glass of water and healthy snacks right next to him. Dee and Roman were out in the living room, giving him the space he’d requested to be able to maintain a headspace suitable for work.
And yet.
Here he was.
Decidedly not working.
He tried to hard to focus his thoughts on the tests. The curriculum. The students. The job he’d worked so incredibly hard to get. The job that had led to him meeting Dee, and then Roman, and then the best six months of his life. He loved them, oh, they were wonderful. But did they love him? Did they love him like this? With the body of a ‘woman’?
Logan groaned, rubbing his eyes as he refocused the train of thoughts away from his insecurities. But, as always happened, it circled back to the terrifying truth.
His boyfriends were gay. He was gay. He was a man.
But was he?
Yes, he was. He knew that. Just because physical dysphoria wasn’t something he struggled with didn’t mean he wasn’t a man. That was a fact. He’d always known that.
But he couldn't lie and say a medical transition wouldn’t help society accept him. Sure, he wore a binder but only to keep misgendering to a minimum. He’d never wanted to do hormones, and he’d never wanted a surgery. That’s all there was to it. Right?
That’s all there had been to it, that is. But now he had to think of Roman. And of Dee. Who were so dramatic and ridiculous, it was a miracle neither had died in a stupid way yet. It was a good thing they’d found Logan, or they’d both have burned the house down.
They were also gay. They liked men. And Logan, especially when he wasn’t trying, didn’t particularly look like a man.
Logan sighed, putting down his pen and standing up. There was no way he’d get any work done until he figured this whole thing out.
The most logical thing would be to go ask them if they’d like him to medically transition. It was simple, and to the point. And he’d know, after that.
Logan wondered, heading out to the living room, if he’d do it for them. He just might, which was something surprising. He cared about them enough… he could do that for them.
“I just don’t see why you think olives belong on sandwiches!” Roman said irritably as Logan stepped in. Dee groaned, throwing his hands in the air.
“Olives belong on anything. Tacos, nachos, pizza, sandwiches, etc.”
“On pizza?!” Roman recoiled, a look of mock horror on his face. “You heathen!”
“Says the man who puts ketchup on his eggs.” Dee snorted, looking around to Logan and smiling. “Hello dearest, finished grading?”
“This conversation isn’t over just because the pinnacle of beauty entered the room!” Roman protested. “We’re debating, here!”
If he didn’t ask now, he wasn’t going to get the chance for a long time.
“I was thinking,” Logan cleared his throat, staring at the opposite wall. “Would either of you prefer that I medically transition?” Straight and to the point.
Silence. Logan glanced quickly to each of them, baffled by their expressions. Roman’s jaw had dropped, and Logan wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. What would good or bad be in this situation? Dee, on the other hand, looked like his heart had shattered in his chest. Which, anatomically, was nearly impossible.
“I want you to do whatever you want to do,” Dee said softly, sitting up from where he lounged on the couch.
Logan froze, mind screeching to a halt. That wasn’t what he expected. That wasn't any of the reactions he’d been mentally preparing for. Yes or no. Yes, they wanted him to have a mans body. No, they didn’t care about his body. What Dee had just said was neither of those.
“Shit, babe, don’t cry!” warm hands cupped Logan’s cheeks and Roman kissed his forehead, pulling him close. Was he crying? Yes, he was, though Logan wasn’t entirely sure why.
Perhaps it was the surprise. Or the sincerity in Dee’s voice as he said what he did. Or the way neither of them seemed to have thought about the question before Logan asked.
“Dee, what am I supposed to do?!” Roman asked, running his fingers through Logan’s hair. Logan choked out a laugh through his sobs. True, neither had ever seen him cry before. Not like this, at least.
“Why are you asking me?” Dee asked defensively.
“You’re the one that-”
“You’re both stupid.” Logan murmured, wrapping his arms around Roman’s torso. “Do you know that?”
“I’m sorry, love, I never intended to make you cry.” Dee hovered beside them, gently guiding them back to the couch.
“I’m not-” Logan’s attempt at composure fell apart as his mind replayed the interaction moments earlier and another sob escaped his lips. He buried his face in Roman’s chest, embarrassed. A moment later he pulled back to remove the glasses, feeling back for the minuscule wince he’d felt when they stabbed into Roman’s skin.
“I’m so sorry, mi amor,” Roman whispered. “We never meant to make you sad, it’s alright. You’re okay, love. We love you, we always will.”
“Roman’s right,” Dee agreed, rubbing circles on Logan’s back. “We love you, Logan. Nothing can change that.”
“I-I’m fine,” Logan muttered at last, wiping his eyes and replacing his glasses. “I apologize.”
“Wh- why!?” Roman asked in surprise. “We’re the ones-”
“You didn’t make me cry.” Logan rolled his eyes. “You didn’t make me do anything. I just cried.”
“Love,” Dee leaned forward to meet Logan’s eyes. “Did you think… we were unhappy with your choice about transitioning?”
“If that’s it, we aren’t!” Roman promised, hugging Logan tighter before letting go. “We love you, Logan. It doesn’t matter what you decide to do.”
“But…” Logan sighed, shaking his head. “Why? You’re both homosexual, correct? Why-”
“That has nothing to do with it.” Dee scoffed. “We both like men. You’re a man. We both like you. You like both of us - I hope. We like each other. That’s all there is to it. Your body has nothing to do with who you are.”
“Yeah, I love you and your adorable little flesh robot!” Roman teased, poking Logan’s cheek. Logan rolled his eyes.
“You’re starting to sound like your brother.” he snorted.
“What else am I supposed to call it? Besides, Remus would have said something way worse.”
“Fair point.” Logan cleared his throat. “I simply… wondered. That’s all. My lack of physical dysphoria has always been… problematic. For my mental health.”
“Oh, geez, that makes sense.” Roman frowned. “I’m so sorry, starlight. I never wanted you to think you had to change for me.”
“Neither of us did,” Dee promised, meeting Logan’s eyes with a searching gaze. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Did someone say something?” Roman demanded, going to stand up. Logan pulled him back, hugging his arm.
“No one said anything.” he sighed. “Just me, re-thinking of things to torture myself with.”
“Well, let it be known that you can make your own decisions.” Roman kissed Logan’s temple gently. “If you never medically transition, I’ll love you until the day I leave this mortal coil! If you one day decide you’d like to, I’ll love you until the day I leave this mortal coil! You can’t get rid of me, specs.”
“The same goes for me, I’m afraid.” Dee smirked, kissing the back of Logan’s hand. Logan flushed, hiding his face in Roman’s chest again. “We love you for you, and nothing changes who you are.”
“You’re both too nice.” Logan muttered, curling up in Roman’s lap as they adjusted to more comfortable seating. There were times he despised being short. But then Roman would hold him, and he loved it more than anything.
“On the contrary!” Roman declared. “I don’t think we’re nice enough! Truly, if these insecurities snuck into your mind, we haven’t been complimenting you nearly enough!”
“That’s not how mental health works, Roman.” Dee chuckled.
“Oh, hush, I’m comforting my boyfriend.” Roman shot back.
“Stop arguing and keep telling me how much you love me,” Logan whined obnoxiously, making them both pause in surprise before laughing.
“God has spoken!” Roman declared. “We will now shower you with compliments until the sun goes down!”
Oh, no. Logan hid in Roman’s shirt, blushing furiously as his boyfriends peppered him with love. He’d brought this upon himself, and they were both going to take full advantage of it.