Chapter Text
Camellia
椿
Waiting
Jun was eighteen when he started working at the shop full time.
He had never been great at Ikebana but Jun found himself trying his hand at it. His flower arrangements always looked...awkward. He presented them to Tetsu’s mom anyway. Mostly because they made her smile. She would place them in their shop’s alcove under a hanging scroll as tradition dictated.
She would invite him in for tea and they would drink together mostly in silence. Sometimes they would talk about Tetsu. Sometimes they would talk about Masashi. Sometimes Masashi would join them.
It was very different from Jun’s own family. Different...but...nice.
Jun told Tetsu so one night after Tetsu had called.
Tetsu hummed. And Jun wished he could see his expression. He could imagine it. The way Tetsu’s usual inscrutable mask would soften ever so slightly into something pleased and warm.
“My mom says your arrangements are getting better.”
Jun laughed. “They’re not, but your mom is too nice to say so.”
“I’ll help you with them,” said Tetsu. “When I get back.”
“You better,” grumbled Jun.
They talked a lot. About everything.
About everything but the kiss.
---
Jun was nineteen when he realized he really did love his family’s floral shop.
He loved being responsible for the care of bright and beautiful things. He loved knowing their language. Even if his customers didn’t know or didn’t care Jun still loved translating their meanings for them. He loved helping people connect through flowers. Helping them express the things that they couldn’t say out loud.
Jun was glad to realize he wasn’t just passing time.
---
Jun was twenty when he called Tetsu on his way back from the convenience store.
Tetsu picked up after a few rings. “Moshi, moshi.”
And Jun couldn’t help smiling. Tetsu’s voice was soft in a way that only happened when he was first waking up or just starting to fall asleep.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I can call you tomorrow.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m awake.”
“I feel like that’s debatable.”
“Don’t debate me, Jun,” mumbled Tetsu, obviously still half asleep.
Jun laughed. “I would never.”
Tetsu hummed. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I just…” Jun trailed off. He just missed Tetsu so fucking much sometimes. It felt like a wound that never got a chance to properly heal. He cleared his throat. “I just...felt like a popsicle so I walked down to the store and thought of you.”
“Isn’t it getting a little cold for popsicles?”
“It’s never too cold for popsicles.”
“That’s debatable,” and Jun could hear the smile in Tetsu’s voice.
Jun let out a bark of a laugh as he cradled his phone to his ear. “Get some rest. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Night, Jun.”
“Goodnight, Tetsu.”
Jun closed his phone and let out a long sigh. It wasn’t cold enough to see his breath in the air but it was getting close. Tetsu was right. It was too cold for popsicles.
Jun stopped in order to sit on the grassy hill. The same hill that he and Tetsu used to pass by every day on their way to school.
He didn’t know what to do with all of the emotions threatening to overflow. So...he let them. Let himself sob. Because Jun was so in love with his best friend he didn’t know what to do with himself.
---
Jun was twenty-one when he realized people had started to ask for his advice. About how to talk to their crush. About how to confess. About love. And Jun wanted to laugh because what the hell did he know about love?
All he knew was white camellias.
---
Azalea
躑躅
Patient, Modest
Jun was twenty-two years old when Yuuki Tetsuya came back into his life.
“I know primroses are pretty,” said Jun with as much patience as he could muster. “They also mean ‘desperate’.”
The woman who he was helping looked from Jun to the primroses and said, “Well, that’s accurate. You got anything that means ‘one-sided love’.”
Jun shook his head. Not really paying attention when the bell over the door chimed. “I’ll be right with you. I’ve got some yellow tulips. It’ll actually look really nice. Want me to throw in some yellow roses while I’m at it?”
“What do those mean?”
“Jealousy.”
The woman thought about it and then shrugged. “Couldn’t hurt.”
Jun arranged the flowers with some fern leaves before wrapping it up. The woman paid and something about the tired way she held herself caused Jun to pluck a sunflower out and hand it to her.
“On the house.”
She hesitated before taking the sunflower. “What does it mean?”
Jun grinned. “Respect, passionate love, radiance.”
The woman took a moment to study the broad, open flower. She slowly smiled. “Thank you.”
“Don’t worry about it. Have a nice day, yeah?”
The woman ducked her head. “Yeah.”
Jun watched her walk through the shop right past--
Yuuki Tetsuya smiled at him. “Hey. It’s been a while.”
“Holy shit! Tetsu!”
Jun practically ran across the shop and Tetsu didn’t seem to know what to do so Jun made the decision for him. He practically knocked Tetsu over with the force of his hug. And Tetsu seemed a little out of practice but he wrapped his arms around Jun and Jun could feel when Tetsu relaxed into the touch.
Jun grinned as he pulled back just far enough to drink in the sight of him. “It’s good to see you.”
“You too. What did I miss?”
“I don’t think I have time to catch you up right now,” said Jun with a laugh. “Drinks later?”
Tetsu nodded. “I’ll be across the street.”
“Cool. I’ll come find you.”
Tetsu nodded again. “Cool.”
Jun sniggered.
And it didn’t occur to him till later that he probably should have been nervous.
---
“Riko is still doing her lawyer thing. Ayame is in Switzerland teaching Japanese, can you believe that?”
Tetsu looked at him and asked completely deadpan, “The part where she’s in Switzerland or the part where she’s teaching?”
Jun threw back his head and laughed. “Either, I guess.”
“Either is pretty unbelievable.” Tetsu took a small sip from his beer. He drank at a slow measured pace that somehow came across as dignified. “So her and Suzuki didn’t work out?”
“Naw.”
“And he lived to tell the tale?”
“I mean...I wanted to kick his ass for a while and Ayame was a mess about it, but they both wanted different things out of life.” Jun shrugged. “It happens.”
Tetsu hummed in agreement.
They had talked all the time on the phone but it wasn’t the same as sitting next to one another. Jun enjoyed watching and waiting for small hints of emotion to cross Tetsu’s face. He was glad to see the ridged way Tetsu held himself relax ever so slightly. But mostly, it was a relief to know that even after all these years, Jun could still read Tetsu and all the little ways he expressed himself.
Tetsu had always known his path in life. He had pursued it with a single-minded determination. It had been, quite frankly, a weird ass trait for a little kid to have. To look at him now...it was as if his body had finally settled into the person he always knew he’d become.
Or maybe that was just Jun projecting his own feelings.
Jun had seen how Ayame and Suzuki had grown up and grown apart from one another. He had been witness to how their love twisted and then fizzled.
Loving Tetsu felt somehow new and exciting and yet...it was a feeling that had burned brightly in Jun for so long it was almost...
It was almost like an old friend.
---
Tetsu had come back from Okinawa...different. It wasn’t like when they were thirteen. It wasn’t so obvious of a change and it took Jun a while to notice. It was just...something about the way Tetsu stood. The way he walked. The way he talked. The way he dressed...
Tetsu never wore short-sleeved shirts anymore.
He wore white button-up shirts almost exclusively now. Shirts that he kept buttoned all the way to the collar. Shirts that he tucked into neatly pressed black slacks. And the geta...
Sometimes when the whole world was quiet, when Jun couldn’t sleep, he could hear the sound of Tetsu’s geta against the sidewalk. The clack clack of the wooden sandals against the concrete as he walked back from the corner convenience store.
Tetsu looked like a serious adult now. Or at least he made Jun feel young and immature in contrast. Walking beside him in his t-shirts and jeans.
Jun knew why Tetsu suddenly couldn’t show his bare arms in public. His grandfather must have finished his sleeve tattoo. It was something Tetsu had been waiting for his whole life. It was a big deal. Life changing.
And Jun tried not to be hurt that Tetsu hadn’t shown him yet.
Jun was twenty-two years old.
And he filled the window of the shop with azaleas.
---
Cherry Blossom
桜
Kind, Gentle, Transience of Life
Jun was twenty-three and had never been so sure of anything in his life.
Tetsu still stopped walking in order to look at him with that steady and serious stare of his. “Are you sure?”
“I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t.”
Tetsu glanced away. His eyes drifting towards the night sky. He looked thoughtful and strangely regal under the weak light of the streetlight.
“Getting a tattoo...it’s not an undertaking you should take lightly. It will change your whole life. It will change how people perceive you and how people treat you. I chose this life. But you don’t have to.”
“So I’ll get it somewhere where my parents won’t see it.”
“And if you go to a public bath or the beach?”
Jun shrugged. “Those kinds of places don’t really appeal to me.”
The more honest answer was that Jun wasn’t interested in going somewhere where Tetsu couldn’t go. He kept that part to himself. Instead, he said just as honestly,
“Tetsu, it would be an honor to be the first person you tattoo.”
Tetsu let out a long breath before turning back towards Jun. And there was a small smile on his face as he said, “Okay. When do you want to get started?”
---
Jun picked the weekend his parents visited Riko.
It was the first time his parents had trusted him to mind the store on his own for so long. Jun felt a little guilty that he was taking that trust and using it to get a tattoo. A little guilty but not enough to stop him from crossing the street after he finished closing up the shop.
Tetsu greeted him formally when he walked in and Jun couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of him. It was probably not the right reaction but it was so strange to see his childhood friend be so...professional.
Tetsu cracked his own smile as he gestured for Jun to take a seat at a table. “Have you given some thought as to what kind of tattoo you wanted to get?”
“Of course,” said Jun as he dropped a sheet of paper on to the table.
Tetsu looked doubtful as he picked up his cherry blossom practice sheet. The very first one he had given Jun when they were five years old.
“You want this?”
“No. I want these.” Jun spread out the other sheets. The progression Tetsu had made over the years was readily apparent when the sheets were placed side by side. “One of each. Ending with the best cherry blossom you can draw now.”
Jun couldn’t read the expression on Tetsu’s face as his fingers brushed against each paper. Eventually, the faintest of smiles tipped his lips upward.
“Transience of life.”
And Jun could feel his own smile form.
Because he knew Tetsu would understand.
---
Getting the tattoo had hurt like a bitch.
Tetsu had warned him that it would, especially since Jun had insisted the cherry blossoms followed the path of his spine. The first sat low on his neck where it would be safely covered by a t-shirt. Each blossom was only a little bit bigger than a 500 Yen piece. Tetsu had done the first four with a machine. The last he did by hand in the traditional Irezumi way using wood sticks with metal needles attached to them.
Jun had complained--loudly--the whole time and Tetsu had simply shushed him and kept working.
The result was…everything Jun could have hoped for.
He bowed low to Tetsu as he thanked him. And if Jun didn’t know any better he'd say Tetsu looked embarrassed as he finished cleaning up.
---
“I figured you’d need help with the aftercare,” said Tetsu by way of explanation as he walked into Jun’s shop after closing. “Since you got it in such a tricky spot.”
“Thanks,” said Jun. “Go ahead and get set up in my room while I finish up here.”
Tetsu nodded and slipped past Jun. And Jun let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.
Jun finished closing out the cash register and spent some time straightening up. It was a slow time of year. Between major holidays and events. It was one of the reasons why his parents had agreed to take a mini vacation in the first place. It also meant that there wasn’t a lot for Jun to do and that he was stalling.
Jun took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He turned off the lights and headed upstairs.
He found Tetsu standing in the middle of his room staring at the wall covered in postcards. At a wall covered in hundreds and hundreds of cherry blossoms. Each perfectly crafted after a lifetime of practice.
“I didn’t realize you kept all of these,” said Tetsu quietly.
“Of course I did,” replied Jun as he walked into the room and pulled his shirt over his head. “Where do you want me?”
Tetsu pulled out the chair from his desk and Jun took a seat. Tetsu’s fingers were warm as they peeled off the bandage. He took a moment to examine his work before washing that tattoo using a bowl and a hand towel that he must have brought with him because Tetsu was ridiculous like that. He patted the tattoo dry before applying some kind of ointment.
“You’ll need to wash it gently several times a day with soap and water and apply moisturizer to keep it moist.”
Jun nodded as he stood. “Sounds easy enough. How’s it look?”
“It’s…beautiful.”
Tetsu ducked his head as he started to pack up his supplies.
And Jun could barely hear, could barely think, over the sound of blood rushing through his ears. Over the feeling of his heart beating rapidly in his chest. Over the feeling of falling...all over again.
Jun swallowed. “Tetsu...I, um…”
“I love you, Jun.”
“What?”
Tetsu set down the towel he had been folding and looked around confused. “Isn’t that how a confession is supposed to go? Under the cherry blossoms? I thought--”
“You thought? I had a plan, damn it!”
Jun let out a frustrated growl as he balled up his fists and then released them so he could reach out and grab the sides of Tetsu’s face and kiss him. Hard. And it was so much more than Jun remembered. More than he could have ever hoped for because Tetsu wrapped his hands around Jun’s hips and kissed him back. Just as hard.
And Jun wanted to laugh out of relief and sheer disbelief that after all these years they had arrived here--except Tetsu’s hands were on his skin and his tongue had slipped through the seam of Jun’s lips.
And Jun’s fingers were trying to remember how to unbutton buttons. He wasn’t very successful. His fingers were clumsy and uncoordinated and eventually, Tetsu took pity on him--pulling away just far enough to unbutton his shirt in a smooth, long-practiced gesture.
And Jun traced his tongue against the newly exposed skin of Tetsu’s neck as he pushed aside his shirt--
And Tetsu reached up and stilled his hands. Jun’s focus was hazy as he licked his lips. Enjoying the way Tetsu’s eyes followed the motion. Tetsu slipped his shirt off of his shoulders and dropped it to the floor.
And Jun felt his breath catch.
Tattooed on Tetsu’s right bicep was a dragon. Traditionally styled in every way. The fearsome expression and the long, sinuous body that curled around his arm. The only exception was clutched in its outstretched claw…
Was a dandelion.
And Jun didn’t realize he was crying until his vision blurred.
Tetsu used his thumb to wipe the tears from Jun’s cheek. “You hate it?”
Jun choked on a laugh. “No. No, I...I love it.”
Jun reached out and traced the dandelion with his fingers. “I love you, Tetsu. I think...I always have.”
It was Jun’s turn to wipe the tear from Tetsu’s cheek before he leaned in and kissed him.
They were kind of awful at sex. Neither of them really knew what they were doing. It was awkward and weird and uncomfortable, but they ended up laughing and making out and finishing embarrassingly fast. And afterward, they curled up together, limbs intertwining as they both tried to fit in Jun’s twin bed.
“That was nice,” lied Jun.
Tetsu chuckled as he pressed a kiss to Jun’s temple. It was a deep throaty sound that Jun wanted to listen to forever. “That was terrible.”
Jun laughed. “Yeah. We’ll practice.”
---
Dandelion
タンポポ
Jun yawned as he slipped out of the back of the Yuuki’s shop. A fresh cherry blossom tattooed on to his spine and a series of hickies littering his body.
The sun was barely breaking over the tops of the tallest buildings in the neighborhood but it was still enough light to see that the floral arrangements in his family’s shop were not the same ones that had been there when he had snuck out last night.
Jun stopped in the middle of the street. He blinked a few times and then rubbed his eyes to make sure his sleep-addled brain was really seeing what he was seeing.
Gardenia for secret love. Daffodils for respect. Irises meant good news, glad tidings and loyalty and White Jasmine meant friendly and graceful, but in this instance, Jun was willing to bet they stood for his sisters.
And Jun laughed, loud and happy...and free.
---
“Ugh, you’ve been ridiculous about the whole thing,” said Ayame as she stabbed her strawberry cake with more force than it deserved. “You’ve been in love with Yuuki for forever.”
“Not...forever,” sputtered Jun.
“That’s true,” said Riko in between sips of her tea. “There was that half a second when you wanted to kick his ass.”
“Who knew you’d grow up wanting to do other things with his ass?” added Ayame mildly.
Jun choked on his coffee.
His sisters were twenty-five and twenty-nine. And they were the worst.
It was one of the rare times that they were all together. Jun had taken the train to meet up with Ayame and Riko at a cafe near Riko’s apartment. Ayame was staying with Riko for the summer. She had just gotten back from Switzerland and had already agreed to teach at a school in New Zealand for the upcoming year.
Jun set down his cup. He stared at it as he asked, “And what about mom and dad? They really don’t care?”
Riko and Ayame glanced at each other having a whole conversation between them. Jun had hated it when they did that as kids and he still hated it.
“They weren’t thrilled,” admitted Riko finally. “But they also understood that they’d risk losing you too if they pushed the issue.”
Ayame grinned. “Riko lawyered them. It was awesome!”
Riko smiled, pleased. “You’ve always had our backs, Jun. It was our turn to have yours.”
“Yup!” said Ayame with a nod. “Besides even mom and dad knew about your great, sweeping, annoyingly slow love story.”
Jun had raised his cup to take another sip and set it back down again. Really why did he even bother? “What?”
“Oh. The two of you have been hot gossip in the neighborhood for years,” replied Riko who hadn’t lived in the neighborhood in forever.
“No...that’s…” Jun glanced between his sisters and the matching sly smiles they were wearing. “Well...that’s embarrassing.”
“We’re really happy for you, Jun,” said Ayame. “Really.”
“Thank you,” replied Jun quietly as he stared at the cup in between his hands. “I’m...really happy too.”
---
“It’s funny,” said Jun quietly as his fingers traced the moving water pattern on Tetsu’s shoulder. Usually, there were cherry blossoms or petals in the water. Tetsu had dandelion tuffs. “I’d been searching for my flower almost my whole life. I hadn’t realized I had already found it.”
“I knew.”
“What? No way!”
Tetsu smiled, small and shy. “That first dandelion. I wished we’d stay together forever.”
And for a second...Jun forgot how to breath.
“I think…” Jun cleared his throat and tried again. “I think I’d like to get a few more of your cherry blossoms tattooed on me.”
Tetsu traced his fingers down Jun’s spine. “How many?”
“I don’t know. A lifetime’s worth?”
Tetsu’s fingers stilled. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” said Jun as he leaned over to place a soft kiss on the corner of Tetsu’s mouth. “Let me carry your wish.”
“Just my wish?”
“No,” said Jun grinning. “Our wish.”