Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She takes a deep breath.
She’ll be arriving in Forks soon, the air already feels heavier with humidity. She feels peaceful, driving her noisy truck with the windows rolled down on her way home.

She’s 20 now, and has learned that she’ll have to concede to many things, consequences of the decisions she makes. Now she that makes decisions thinking of her happiness, the consequences are inescapable details in the building of her dreams.

Forks’ weather is a consequence, that she not only accepted, but has started to like. She linked the cloudiness of the sky with the wonderful green of the forest (a shade that she has not seen elsewhere), humidity with the delicious smell of wet leaves over wet soil, and the cold, with warmth. Warmth because this was her home. It had become her home so fast.

Thinking about her expectations first coming here was now weird to her; alien. At that time she didn’t dream of ever getting used to anything in forks, much less liking it.
Her teenage stubbornness and inexperience led her to believe she was there only temporarily, that getting close to Charlie (or anyone) was not worth it, even though very soon in her stay she had come to care about him very much.

That was not what surprised her the most about Forks. Never could she have imagined the complex conflicts of vampires and werewolves she would get caught in. The ways her life would be threatened, by outside predators, or those that come from within, too. How she would give in to an intense passion, only to be left in shambles. How she would rebuild herself, sew each piece of her heart back together after a long period of gloom, and sleepless nights.

Now, coming to visit during a break from university, she has the realisation of how distant it all feels, how she was really able to put things in the past.

She was excited to visit her father, see some old classmates, but mostly to spend as much time as possible with Jake, who she hadn’t seen in three months. Their relationship was not perfect; she knew. But it made her so happy. Being with him flooded her soul with peace, and warmth. She missed cuddling, and all the touching and affection that she couldn’t get over the phone.
She couldn’t be accused of being too loving, but the same couldn’t be said about her boyfriend: as long as they were in the same room, he made sure that they were close. At the very least, holding hands, but most of the time he stood behind her, with his arms wrapped around her shoulders, or he’d sit and pull her on his lap (Charlie would always make a face, but didn’t comment).

Once, while they were having dinner at her house, she asked him why he was so grabby:

“Well, what if you decide to run away? Can’t risk that.” he answered, with a stupid grin on his face.

“Ha Ha. Seriously, Jake, why are you always clinging to me when we’re together?”

“Well, it seems kind of a waste to have you around and not be touching you. Why wouldn’t I do it?” he stopped for a minute, looked away for a bit, when he looked back, she saw concern on his face “Does it bother you?” he said, almost whispering

“No! Jake! I didn’t mean it like that, I was curious, that’s all” she said, from across the table, making grabby hands at him “Come here, I’ll never get sick of your hugs.”

He stood up and happily kneeled down in front of her chair, resting his head on her lap, so she could run her fingers through his hair.

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She pulled up at the uneven driveway in front of her house at about 3. These trips have been feeling a lot shorter for her, since they have become her most peaceful, meditative moments. She liked her friends at school, and all, but being alone with the passing trees and lakes was when she felt like she was truly resting.

Now, being alone with her thoughts wasn’t scary anymore.

She came into the quiet house with her bag. She didn’t know what to do, since Charlie was supposed to come late tonight, and Jake had classes, and would only arrive home at about 7. She climbed up the stairs to her room and plopped down on the bed. She looked around stretching her legs a bit, not knowing what to do.

Jacob had graduated last semester, after doubling down on schoolwork, so he wouldn’t stay behind his classmates. Having phased and fought in a war at 16 made him miss a lot of classes, but he soldiered through the extra homework, and finished high school in time.
Right after, he enrolled on a technical mechanics course in Port Angeles, and planned opening up a little shop in Forks with Quill and Embry.

With a sigh, she hops on her feet. Enough resting. She thinks for a minute and decides to visit Billy, see how he is doing. Maybe she’ll even pick some things up from the store on the way and bake Jake something sweet. Nothing like coming home after a long day and being greeted with some cinnamon buns and your long-distance girlfriend, right?

She headed down to the reservation after having bought the ingredients for the buns and restocking Charlie’s fridge (it was always necessary after she spent some time away. The poor microwave was always abused in her absence). She soon pulled up in front of Billy’s house and knocked lightly on the door.

“Come in!” Billy shouted from the kitchen, where he was looking for a snack of some kind.

Bella crossed the small living room to find him with his head stuck in a cupboard, frustrated with the lack of sweets and excess of granola bars. Jake never stored sugary things within his father’s reach. Billy backed up his chair and closed the door, cursing under his breath.

“Bella!” he exclaimed, once he looked up “I didn’t expect to see you so soon. I thought you’d wait for Jacob to come back from school.”

“Hey, Billy! I thought I’d come by and bake us something, maybe catch up with you a bit. How are you?”

It was easy from there. He got really excited about the buns he’d be having, and started chatting merrily with Bella, about the reservation, the council and Charlie, while she worked in the kitchen. Once the dough was rising, she sat down, flour all over her apron (and face, she had to learn how to control her limbs better), and accepted the mug filled with coffee Billy offered her. They drank silently for a moment.

“How’s Jake doing?” Bella said, sipping a bit of coffee.

“He’s doing good! The technical school has let him enroll in some advanced classes, since he already knows much of what they’re teaching him now. I told him he should, since he’s been doing so well.” Billy sat straighter on his chair, seeming proud.

“Yeah, he told me about that” she paused, taking another sip. She looked at her coffee, avoiding Billy’s eyes for a moment. There was something about this that bothered her. She didn’t know what. “Don’t you think it’ll be too much, though? Maybe it’s better if he just sticks to the program, with the other students.”

“Well, I know he was never much when it came to school, but he proved he can take on a load of work. I didn’t think he’d graduate this year, and yet…”

“I guess you're right.” it was kind of a blunt end to the topic, but Bella wasn’t much of a chatter anyway. She felt a knot form in her throat, but she decided to ignore the discomfort that the subject brought her.

After another mugfull of coffee, some talk about the weather, the buns were finally in the oven. Just as the house was invaded by the smell of sugar and cinnamon, they heard a car pull by the house. There were some running steps hitting the gravel outside and soon Jacob barged in, almost tackling Bella with his enthusiastic hug.
He swinged her around, her nose buried between his shoulder and neck. While her feet were still off the ground, he pulled her into a deep kiss, that lasted a little too long for Billy’s taste, because they were interrupted by his light coughing.

A bit embarrassed, Bella climbed down from Jacob’s grasp, and went to check the oven while her boyfriend greeted his father. Her ears burned with her blush.
Soon, he was crouched down beside her, looking through the oven door. When she turned to look at him, he gave her a chaste kiss on the lips.

“How was your trip, Bells?”

“It was pretty good. I’ve been really enjoying these rides by myself.”

Chapter Text

How was your trip, Bells?

It was pretty good. I’ve been really enjoying these rides by myself.

He wrapped an arm around her while they waited for the treat, both crouched down in front of the oven. Bella closed her eyes for a moment, appreciating the warmth she was engulfed in, his breath behind her ear, the smell of cinnamon mixing with Jake’s scent around her.

She stayed for dinner, Jake insisted he cook, since she ‘must be tired from her trip’. After being eating, they went to the garage, settling on the tattered, stained couch, and talked. He asked details about things she’d told him over the phone: about university, about her favourite classes, her friends. About how she felt, and what she thought. He told her about his classmates, the boring classes on how to change a tire (why would someone who wants to be a mechanic not know how to change a tire?? Ridiculous), and the school’s crappy bathrooms.

He carried the conversation between them, as always. It was comfortable. Her default was to be silent, but talking to him was so easy. Being there, in the garage, laughing at his silly comments while fiddling with his hair, felt like home.

“It’s pretty late now, Bells, you should go home and get some sleep”

“Maybe” she felt like staying longer, but when she stretched her arms, she realised she was pretty worn down “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Don’t think you’re getting rid of me just yet, Honey” he sat up and pulled her from the couch “I’m driving you home, for safety reasons.”

“Safety reasons” she snorted “Don’t tell me you plan on coming to my room through the window too, for safety reasons”

“Well, it is in the interest of my well being, using the window. You see, your father has a shotgun is his room, in case you didn’t know” he looked very satisfied with himself for that answer. “I think you’re too sleepy to drive. Besides, I’ve got patrol later and falling asleep before that would mean I will not wake up in time”

“Okay, then! I’ll have you for longer today” she smiled to herself as they left the garage and got in her truck.

They arrived at her house pretty quickly, since Jacob liked abusing her truck’s engine. “I can’t stand going any slower, Bells. If it needs any repair, I’ll do it for you” He’d always tell her when she tried to defend her poor truck.

Charlie hadn’t arrived yet, so both of them came in through the door, “like human people”, Jake said, laughing at his own joke. After a trip to the bathroom, Bella sat down on the bed next to Jacob, her hair still dripping a bit. She had put on a tank top and sweatpants. Looking at him through her eyelashes, as he cupped her chin in his hand made her skin prickle with anticipation. They missed each other.

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She woke up in the morning, aware of the absence of the warmth of his skin. As she looked at the ceiling, trying to straighten her drowsy thoughts, she felt happy for being back in Forks.

After washing up and going downstairs, she prepared some coffee, eggs and toast for her and Charlie, who’d woken up and had come into the kitchen yaning. She was working the stove when he gave her a kiss on her forehead, then sat down with a coffee mug in his hands.

They talked very little, as always. He did comment on Jake’s latest achievements. Billy must have bragged about it to him, and Charlie seemed pretty happy about it too. Maybe it had something to do with her boyfriend being a ‘responsible young man’ or something like that.

“He’s only 18 and has a lot figured out already! He always has been mature for his age” It’s what his father told her.

They both headed down to La Push, since it was Charlie’s day off. He joined Billy in the kitchen, where he was cleaning some fishing gear- they’d head down to the lake as soon as he was done.

Bella found Jacob in his room, snoring lightly as he hugged his pillow in his too small bed. She brushed his hair away from his face and sat down next to him. Because of the turmoil she suffered during her teenage years, she had a hard time picking up small cues, signs that told on other’s well being (maybe it wasn’t only her, maybe it was a teenager thing).

Now she looked at Jake sleeping and could see tension and restlessness. His hands were clenching the cotton fabric of his pillowcase, his shoulders were tense, head buried between them. She decided not to wake him after what must have been a very late night, so she picked up the book she had brought from her bag, and leaned on him for support.

He woke up what must have been an hour later, a bit startled and confused. He blinked a few times, his brows furrowed as he tried to make up what was going on. His eyes landed on her, and after a few seconds, he seemed to come back to reality and a big smile broke on his face.

“Good morning, sleepyhead”

He didn’t answer her, choosing to wrap his arms around her middle and pulling her further into the bed instead. She squealed as he put one of his thighs over her squished body and hid his face under her neck, pretending to go back to sleep.

“Come on, Jake! It’s time to get out of bed and face the day!” She tried wiggling out of his iron grip. He held onto her tighter, pushing his face further into the space between her neck and the mattress, groaning.

“Never! We’re gonna live here now. Fuck the real world. All I need is this bed, a pillow, and you!”

After fruitlessly fighting his embrace, he finally gave in and left the bed slowly, stretching his limbs. They headed to the kicken, where he prepared himself a monstrosity that he insisted in calling a “breakfast sandwich”.

“It’s horrid! And gigantic! Gargantuan! How is it even going to fit in your mouth?”

He pretended to take offence on what she said, with a theatrical hand on his chest and a loud gasp.

“I can’t believe my own love, my other half, the light of my life, would ever underestimate me like that!”

“I can’t believe how poetic you get when we’re talking about food!”

And with that he took a big bite out of his creation, looking her directly in the eyes, as the sanchiche’s contents spilled out at its other end. She scrunched her face up, looking disgusted, smile still on her lips

As he settled into eating his breakfast, too concentrated to make any more jokes, she noticed the dark circles under his eyes. During the day, every time he thought she wasn’t looking, a distant, tired look would settle on his face. When he became aware or her scrutiny, he’d light up again, washing away the tiredness that he seemed to be trying to hide.

A lump formed in her throat in these moments, but she didn’t know how what to say. She didn’t know if she wanted to disturb their little happy moments by asking him if anything was wrong. The lump never bothered her for long, because Jacob would quickly switch back into his happy, sunny state and distract her with the warmth of his presence.

“You make me so happy”

“You too”