Chapter Text
hüzün (n.) a melancholy resulting from inadequacy or failure and weighing so heavily that it becomes communal, resigned and even curiously poetic.
“ladies and gentlemen, welcome to daegu international airport. local time is forty five minutes past two in the morning and the temperature is eleven degree celsius.
for your safety and comfort, please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened until the captain turns off the fasten seat belt sign. this will indicate that we have parked at the gate and that, it is safe for you to move about. cellular phones may only be used once the fasten seat belt sign has been turned off.
please check your seat for any personal belongings you may have brought on board with you and please use caution when opening the overhead bins, as heavy articles may have shifted around during the flight.
if you require deplaning assistance, please remain in your seat until all other passengers have deplaned. one of our crew members will then be pleased to assist you.
on behalf of korean airlines and the entire crew, i’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future. have a nice stay!”
the air hostess finished her last announcement for the flight. she sound of which startled y/n as she had fallen asleep to her surprise. she looked around herself, people were waking up, preparing for the deplaning.
“yoongi?” she said in a low tone near his ear, caressing his cheek lightly, “we’ve reached.”
he pushed her hand away, groaning. he was too tired due to the tours and comeback schedules but he insisted that they keep the holiday plans still on and not postpone it all over again.
he had fallen asleep not long after they had boarded the flight, with his head on her shoulder, snuggling in the crook of her neck.
“yoongi-aaah,” she cooed shrugging and moved away from him making his head droop down. he groaned louder this time turning a few heads towards them.
“come on, we’ve reached, you’ll get to sleep in a bed now,” she said sorting her purse after she turned her phone to the general mode from flight mode.
“are we here?” he asked with a lump in his throat, his morning raspy voice − groggy and dry.
“no. i woke you up because i saw a penguin flying in the air, you wanna see it?”
“aah,” he continued with his groaning as he hit her arm playfully.
“what the– how mean is that,” she sighed shaking her head, as if, in disappointment.
he couldn’t help but let a chuckle as he straightened his clothes.
“it’s going to be freezing outside,” y/n commented zipping her jacket.
“you bet,” he replied rubbing his eyes.
“but I’m more nervous about meeting your family.”
“they’re not cannibals so you’re chill.”
“haha funny,” y/n got up stretching when the fasten seat belt sign went off.
“oh, i’m a delight,” he said watching her as her white shirt underneath the jacket went up a few inches when she stretched her arms.
“oh, how you wish,” she pushed his cheek away turning his gaze.
“i don’t have to, i know it, i’ve three dollars swag, remember?”
it was 2:52 am, y/n was sleep deprived for more than 36 hours but that sent her to a fit of laughter earning a few weird glances hither thither.
he let out his gummy smile watching her and she felt so important at that moment, that she was the reason behind his precious smile which millions adored.
“come now,” she patted his head as people started leaving eventually.
“yes, ma'am,“ he got up as he hit his head accidentally in the overhead bins. he groaned again, fourth time tonight, right?
y/n chuckled lightly as she rubbed his head with one hand and touched his cheek with the other, “shit, you didn’t listen to the safety announcement. honey, this was meant to be.”
“you’re so mean to me, bye i’m going home alone.”
“seriously?” she smiled relieved as she flopped back on to her seat. “i’ll go back to my apartment and sleep peacefully.”
he took out his duffel bag from the overhead bins. she pulled his shirt down shaking her head.
yoongi shot a confused look at her.
“it’s all mine, only i can look at it, behind closed curtains please.”
he shook his head suppressing a laugh and walked in the line of the people getting down. after going forward a few steps, he looked back at her. she was still in the seat, flopped towards the end of the seat closing her eyes.
y/n opened her eyes after a while when she felt something was shadowing in front of her eyes. it was yoongi, with the bag in his hand, standing upright quietly in front of her with his famous poker face.
“don’t make me drag you out.”
“yes, sir,” she smiled nervously getting up and reached for her bag.
yoongi picked it up before she could, “don’t worry, walk.”
she nodded smiling to no one in particular as she stood behind a man. they all had to stand for a while because a passenger ahead of them had encountered a problem with their luggage.
she was too busy looking at her feet when she stepped behind crashing into yoongi as the guy in front of her took a step back unexpectedly. yoongi balanced her helping her stand back straight.
he was about to say something to the man but she held his arm shaking her head at him so rather, he came in front of her letting her stand behind him.
she smiled as she hugged him from behind, clinging to him like a baby koala taking small steps as the line advanced forward.
soon they got out of the plane and left the airport after collecting the rest of their luggage. she went to get the bags but he stopped her and collected all of them and balanced her bag on the handle of the big trolley as he handed only his light duffel bag to her
“baby, it’ll be heavy and the trolley won’t move, give me it.”
he put his finger to his lips, “shh.”
she walked behind him, this was her first time traveling with him alone and he was surprisingly extra gentlemanly.
yoongi hugged a person smiling after they walked into the parking area. the person looked like his brother.
‘that must be yoongi’s older brother,” y/n thought to herself.
they pulled back and y/n stepped in bowing and tried to sound as formal as possible, “anneyeonghaseyo.”
he smiled and bowed too returning the greetings. he had the same gummy smile like yoongi.
“she’s such a nice girl. i like her already.”
“yeah, she is my girlfriend, of coursel!”
y/n gave yoongi a lame look, like yeah sure.
his brother took their bags and led them to his car in the parking lot.
after getting their bags in the trunk of the car they hopped in and seated themselves.
y/n rubbed her arms as it was breathtakingly cold. yoongi got in beside her and moved closer to her upon noticing.
“is it too cold for you?”
“i’ve lived in seoul for long enough, so nah it’s chill i’m fine.”
he nodded wrapping his arm around her. she didn’t really mind snuggling into him more as his brother was busy driving.
after passing a series of tall buildings and drooling a few times in between, yoongi informed her that they were close. daegu wasn’t like seoul, it wasn’t anything like seoul at all. the people here too had a different look, they had more of a domestic look and aura.
she could feel her heart suddenly beating faster now, she was finally going to meet his parents and three in the morning wasn’t such an auspicious time either. for an instant she thought she was going to faint or something, her heart threatened to come out of her rib cage anytime. she wasn’t even scared this much when she confessed to yoongi. y/n decided to take deep breaths, which yoongi noticed shortly.
“something wrong jagiya?”
she shook her head, “no this… it’s just i’m nervous, very much.”
he held her hand, intertwining their fingers, and leaned in kissing her forehead softly, lingering. “i promise it’ll be fine,” he mumbled against her skin.
she nodded closing her eyes, feeling calmer. “yes, i know. you’re with me.”
“exactly,” he said before pecking her lips softly. “don’t worry now, please?”
she looked at him smiling slightly, “aye.”
“good girl.”
they pulled up shortly in front of his house. y/n gazed out from the window. yoongi had already gotten out of the car and was helping his brother with the bags.
after they were done with the luggage yoongi came over to her side, opening the door, “come out, madam. bless my house with thy holy feet.”
“oh dear, my very existence is anything but holy,” she winked before getting down. y/n took a quick look around and noticed his parents, they looked very warm and welcoming.
she rushed to them bowing and offered her greetings and was surprised when his mother hugged her lovingly. she couldn’t help but smile and reciprocate her actions. they took her in like the daughter they always dreamt of having. they were very hospitable and polite to her, she felt so comfortable all of a sudden and was back to being herself.
“have you guys eaten?” asked his mother.
“of course, eomma. don’t worry.”
“you should sleep sweetie, it’s late enough,” his mother told you and turned to yoongi. “yoongi, take her to your room. go go.”
“yes, auntie. you should sleep too. we disturbed you at this hour.”
“no no. we are so happy to have you here.”
y/n was flustered to hear it and just kept smiling as yoongi called it a night. wishing his parents and brother a good night before going up the stairs. she wished them too, saying thank you a few too many times before following yoongi to his room.
she climbed the stairs not paying attention and crashed into yoongi as he had stopped unexpectedly, “the hell dude?”
he chuckled with a sense of victory, “i knew you’d do this, you are so absent-minded.”
y/n breathed out keeping a straight face, 3:47 in the morning and he wants to play ‘i knew you would do this’ with her, not such a good idea min yoongi.
she hit him in his chest pushing him back, the door to his room was open and he crashed against the door dramatically, but the door fell open making him lose balance. and eventually, he fell on his back, “ow, damn.’
y/n shrugged walking in and sat on his stomach, “still want to play silly games with me?”
he held on her waist. “aigoo, eomma. i’m going to die, tell my members i loved them.”
“yeah sure, i will. they’ll be so happy and relieved and then i’ll take your place”
“oh, that’s why you were dating me?”
“duh boy, it was always the plan,” she replied smirking as she took a look around the room.
he raised his hands above his head in surrender, “forgive me, my queen, i shan’t do it again and pisseth thee off.”
y/n couldn’t help but laugh as she laid down on the floor beside him, pulling his arm under her head.
he chuckled closing his eyes, “you know what is still the same?”
“mhmm?” she looked at him. he looked so incredibly peaceful.
“the smell, the essence, the feel, it’s the same. a lot has been changed over the years, the rooms have been reconstructed, the furniture changed, even the feelings of the people around and inside this house has changed, but i insisted on keeping my room the very same that it was, years ago when i left for BigHit.”
y/n smiled, caressing his cheek slightly as she planted a soft kiss on it, “are those the trophies you won in your basketball matches?”
he nodded following her gaze to where his trophies were kept on a small shelf.
she glanced at the roof, “lil wayne and kanye West and that’s um hit-boy I guess”
“well, someone did their homework”
“it’s hard to recognize their faces, they’ve changed their looks drastically over the years,” she commented as she recognized the faces from the posters, they were from before 2010. “oh boy, you’re so old.”
“now you noticed?” he turned facing her.
“no, i always did and you’re my sugar daddy. now, where is my money? boy, i’ll sue you.”
he chuckled biting her nose.
“ouch, just eat me up someday why don’t you!” y/n whined.
he raised an eyebrow at her, excited, “i surely plan to”
it wasn’t a good time. yoongi was visibly exhausted and she was tired too.
he pulled her close as he breathed out against her skin giving her chills at the back of her spine.
“yoongi sleep on the bed. baby, your back will hurt.”
“seriously, i’m not that old!”
“it’s not about being old, it will hurt in the morning, move to the bed.”
“nah, i’m good, but if you want, you’re free to.”
“i think not,” she said as she rested her head on his chest. he securely wrapped his arms around her waist, breathing out against her neck.
y/n kept on lying still, as she listened to his heartbeat. it was cadenced; her head, undulating to the tune of it, as his chest went up and down.
she must have fallen asleep listening to it. she only remembers waking up the next morning.
‘there she was, sleeping peacefully, with her head on my chest. i couldn’t be more grateful to have her, at that instance, it felt like this is it. this is all i need in life. i wish i could tell her all the stories that these four walls have witnessed but no matter how comfortable i get with her, it seemed impossible to speak about it. i did notice her unsuccessful tries; trying to make me start speaking about the room, about the trophies i won, about the posters i hung, the fights, the breakdowns, the celebrations. she was eager to know, willing to listen to those stories all night without even blinking. though i wanted to tell her everything that there was, i kept quiet, letting the moment die. thankfully she seemed to notice the unmentioned tension as she let it go without trying more, she was a smart girl. she knew what to say and when to say so she stopped asking about anything more,’ yoongi’s mind ran around a chain of thoughts.
yoongi looked at her, pushing her hair back which was falling on her face. he placed soft kisses along her hairline, down to her neck. he could feel her squirm under his touch even in sleep. he knew she was a light sleeper and she started waking up.
“shh shh, go back to sleep. it’s fine,” he whispered before pecking her lips softly.
after making sure she was asleep, he closed his eyes waiting for sleep to engulf him.
y/n woke up to the sound of the laughter coming from downstairs. she shot up as she couldn’t recognize the place. looking around herself, trying to keep her eyes open as the sunlight threatened to penetrate them.
‘yoongi’s room’, she mumbled to herself and nodded slowly.
after stretching her limbs she touched her back, it was paining since they slept on the floor.
she unlocked her phone to check the time, it read 9:04 a.m. she groaned irritated at her own self. the first day here and she overslept totally ruining the first impression of herself. she kept checking her phone, nevertheless. pulling down the notification bar, she came across taehyung’s messages. she tapped on the chat.
“y/n, YOU’VE TO VISIT MY PLACE!! AND MY SCHOOL!! AND MY FIELDS!! AND MY FRIENDS!!” she chuckled as she read the message.
“i’ll try bub, no promises, but I’ll definitely try to go and meet your parents once,” she hit sent before locking her phone and standing up straight.
y/n immediately freshened up, changing into a fresh pair of clothes and headed downstairs at once. the whole min family was gathered around the table, she climbed downstairs and smiled at them.
“i’m so sorry i’m this late. i didn’t mean to disrespect you in anyway. i don’t know why this happened i−”
“dear dear, it’s fine. it really is, yoongi told us that you’re an intern now and you do clinic duties for hours, you must be so tired. it’s understandable!” yoongi’s mother cut her off.
“thank you so much, auntie,” y/n bowed and sat down beside yoongi shooting a glare at him.
“what?”
“you could’ve woken me up!” she whisper-yelled at him.
“no, you needed the sleep”
she shook her head and started eating after his mother served her breakfast. it tasted heavenly, best korean food she had till now.
his father and brother were leaving for work and yoongi offered to accompany them. after seeing them off y/n helped his mom with the dishes. she asked her if she could help her more with anything, but she denied and barred her from working. y/n insisted but if only she would listen to her, she already had bashed her from doing the dishes itself. she was very sweet to her, motherly. y/n noticed how forgiving her nature was, how much warmth it contained and how beautiful she was from the inside.
having nothing to do, and a whole day to waste, or at least waste the hours till yoongi comes back, y/n finally decided to just rest.
“auntie, i’ll be upstairs! please call me if you need me,” she smiled nodding and left for yoongi’s room.
since the room was closed for a long time and looked so dead. it was a small room, nothing so out of the box or extravagant. but it was oddly warm and y/n thought she could actually spend the rest of her life in this warmth. she opened the windows which were rusted a bit, pushing the curtains aside. the view from the windows was commendable, trees and greenery around, and kids playing in the small playground in front of it. she smiled as she watched them playing for a while then felt like a pedophile so she moved away.
next to the windows, was the wooden slab, where the trophies were kept. she tiptoed to read the honoraries. she smiled biting her lip every time she saw his name, engraved on them. y/n has watched him play basketball before and he’s really very skillful at it.
she walked to the other side of the room with her hands sliding on the walls as she walked. there were more posters; kpop idols and hollywood idols as well. his room was neat and composed, just like him.
she walked further to the other side, there was a small window at the corner, she tried to open it but it was jammed. after successfully unlocking the lock on it, she had to push it open with some force. there was a rope, and at the end, it was tied like a circle, she picked it up confused, why would you tie a knot like this? then she realized, how she once had read in an interview that he had tried to kill himself. the rope fell from her hands immediately and she stepped back terrified. breathing heavily, she looked around and she found yoongi watching her. his eyes were boring holes into her skin. but he was, quiet.