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Aguero isn’t sure how the habit started. When he tries to remember, all he ever really gets is the overwhelming feeling to compulsively check his old hiding spots. But those places are long gone, the jewels long gone too, probably, along with the numbered days that he once spent at the Khun family estate. He remembers the jewels a little too clearly for his liking, and the stories connected to each one. Those memories leave him with a bitter after taste though, and an all-consuming emptiness in his chest where his heart lies.
His mother gave him his first jewel. It was a present. This deep blue sapphire jewel, reminiscent of the very color the Khun family is known for, was a present for strategically getting rid of one of his elder sister’s competitors for the Jahad princess position.
“Good work, Aguero,” said his mother as she gently strokes his hair once, “Hold your hand out for me.”
Aguero silently does as he is asked. He’s standing before her in her office. A part of him has already deduced why she’s called him here. Another part of him, a small waning insignificant part, kind of hopes she has forgotten the politics of the family and this is for any other reason but that. But Aguero knows. Aguero will always know what takes priority.
His mother reaches over to pick up the dark blue square jewel off her desk, and as she lifts it the sunlight pouring in hits it at just the right angle to make it explode in an array of sparkles. It catches Aguero’s eyes and he can’t explain why, but he likes the jewel immediately. Then his mother places the jewel in his awaiting palm and gently folds his small fingers over the cool smooth surface of the gem. The jewel is big for his seven-year-old hand, but he grips it tightly nonetheless and looks up at his mother with confusion.
His mother continues to hold his hand in both of hers. There isn’t much love or affection in the gesture, but it is a gentle hold as if at any second she would let go without warning. She looks at the jewel as she speaks, “This is for you, Aguero. A reward taken from your sister’s test. Take good care of it.”
And suddenly, it’s as if his mother’s words are a wake-up call, Aguero realizes where this jewel is from. It belongs to his sister’s competitor. Aguero didn’t even bother to remember the girl’s name despite being distant relatives. The girl his sister crushingly defeated thanks to his strategy was wearing this jewel proudly around her neck.
Aguero likes the jewel even more now.
His mother finally looks at him. Aguero can see his reflection within those eyes that see right past him. “Always remember, Aguero. Never trust anyone but yourself.”
“Yes, mother.” This time Aguero pulls his hand away first in the same gentle manner as his mother and walks out of her office without looking back.
That night as Aguero laid in his bed looking at the jewel shine under the moonlight peeking through his bedroom window, his eyes catch a small imperfection on the corner of the jewel. There’s a little white line at the bottom corner like the beginnings of a crack on the otherwise seemingly perfect jewel. Aguero frowns at it and wishes he never caught sight of it, but now that he has, he can’t take his eyes off the imperfection. In that moment, Aguero decides it would be best to hide it away. He doesn’t want to risk any more damage to it or worst of all to possibly lose the jewel either.
So, Aguero quietly gets out of his bed and opens the drawer under his desk. He pulls out the wooden false bottom and carefully wraps the blue jewel into one of his soft handkerchiefs before placing it carefully away.
Maybe the habit was a coping mechanism all along.
Aguero always knew what his actions would entail.
Memories though, old habits that refuse to die, however, entailed a different response.
They make Aguero feel like he’s suffocating all over again.
><
Khun no longer has any interest in jewels. Jewels have become an impracticality for him. After all, what good are jewels when you’re risking your life every day to climb a tower. There are some that he sees in shops as they pass through the floors, but he no longer has the compulsive need to buy the ones that catch his eye or tuck them away where no one else can find them.
Bam catches Khun staring at a display case once. The entire gang was out shopping for supplies before they tackled their next floor test and had split off into groups to get the errand done in an efficiently quicker manner. Bam, Khun, and Rak had finished their portion of the shopping list already so they were only lingering about in a food court area. Rak, of course being Rak, was in line at one of the food stalls advertising their banana flavored treats.
“How does that gator eat so much despite being reduced to travel size?” Khun complains, although it’s clear it’s out of jest.
Bam chuckles in amusement, “It’s going to be a while before the rest come back from gathering supplies anyways. It’s not often Rak gets to enjoy himself.”
“Hmm,” is Khun’s only response to that as he looks off to his right in the general direction that Rak went off. A silence lulls between them for a moment as Bam sips at his drink they got from the vending machine before they sat down at the table and Khun gets wrapped up in his infinite thoughts again. As Bam finishes his drink, Khun turns his attention back to Bam. He asks, “Is there anything that you want to check out for yourself? It’ll be a while before we get to find a market place this huge again.”
Bam shakes his head, “I’m fine. What about you, Khun?”
For just a split second, Bam notices how Khun’s eyes flicker towards the right again before Khun also shakes his head. “No, I don’t need anything other than the necessities on the list.”
Curious and not exactly taking Khun’s words at face value, Bam turns his head to Khun’s right to see what could have caught the blue-haired boy’s attention. At first, he assumed Khun was just sending glares at Rak in the obnoxiously long line for banana flavored soft serve, but that wouldn’t be possible since Rak was no longer even visible in the long line as it wrapped around the corner. Bam scans the surrounding area and then his eyes fall on it. The lone cart filled with trinkets, jewelry, and earrings of varying colors and shine. There was nothing else that could possibly capture Khun’s attention.
“Are you sure you don’t want to take a look at the cart over there?” Bam questions, a finger pointing towards what he was talking about. “You seem interested in it.”
Khun’s eyes widen and his heart skips a beat out of shock from being asked that off guard. “No,” Khun says quickly and tries to relax his tense expression. “I just happened to notice it and it reminded me of when we were on the first floor of the tower and I was arguing with Hatz about my earrings.”
“You don’t wear your earrings anymore.” It’s a statement from Bam, not a question. Bam remembers the bickering Khun and Hatz shared all those floors ago and he especially remembers how proud Khun was of his earrings.
“Ah, yeah, they got lost in a fight at one of the floors,” Khun says nonchalantly. It no longer matters to him now, but when he initially lost them he was fuming over them until Rak called him out for his lingering snappy attitude towards everyone with a punch to the gut.
Bam reaches out suddenly and touches the outer shell of Khun’s ear. His thumb and forefinger rub lightly across the sensitive skin. “The puncture holes haven’t healed yet. Do you want to wear them again?”
Khun holds back the shiver that runs along his spine at the unexpected gesture. He feels his face warm and immediately gives Bam a small smile to hide his nerves as he reaches up to hold Bam’s hand that’s on his ear and lowers it to the table. Khun doesn’t let go of Bam’s hand as he tells the other simply, “It’s fine. I don’t need them.”
Bam frowns, not quite understanding, “But you like them, don’t you?”
“I did,” Khun hesitates when Bam gives a small squeeze to his hand, then adds, “I do.”
“Then?” Bam persists, bright eyes focused on Khun’s face searching for some indication of something. Khun isn’t sure what the other is looking for on his face.
Khun shrugs and looks down at their hands, away from Bam’s earnest expression, “I just don’t see the point in spending money on something that I’m going to inevitably lose during one of our fights while climbing the tower. Those resources can be used for other things.”
“You can always buy another pair if they get lost,” reasons Bam, “My shirts and shoes get shredded all the time in battle and I just replace them.”
Khun gives Bam a look and says, “Bam… I don’t think those two are comparable…”
“Sure they are, they’re both material goods,” replies Bam earnestly.
A smirk playfully lingers on the corners of Khun’s lips. “Are you saying you’d be willing to walk around shirtless to save money?” Khun asks teasingly.
Bam’s reaction is instantaneous as he flushes a light pink and begins shaking his head vigorously, “Okay, you’re right. The two aren’t comparable.”
Khun laughs lightly, enjoying Bam’s cute reaction. “Shirts are a necessity. Earrings are not.”
“But, if you like them you should enjoy them too,” Bam says, “It’s not like we can’t afford them.”
“Why are you so insistent about this?” Khun wonders aloud, voice carefully neutral. It’s not that he’s annoyed with Bam or anything but it’s certainly strange for Bam to just not drop the topic. His days of jewels and earrings ended years ago.
Bam pouts, “Because-”
“Black turtle! Blue turtle! Come help your leader!”
Bam and Khun immediately whip their heads over to Rak’s direction at the call of their nicknames. Khun spots the gator first trying to balance three soft serve cups in his hands and barely managing to not have all three spill onto the ground.
“What in the world,” Khun lets go of Bam’s hand and heads toward Rak, “Gator, why did you buy so many? How were you expecting to carry this yourself if we weren’t at the table waiting for you?”
“Shut up, one is for you, blue turtle, and the other is for black turtle,” Rak exclaims proudly as he lets Khun take two cups out of his arms.
“Stupid gator, Bam and I could have shared. You could have ended up dumping all three on the ground with your tiny dino arms,” Khun berates but there’s an undeniable fondness in his tone.
Bam smiles at his dearest friends’ antics and cuts in before Khun and Rak could start arguing again, “Thanks, Rak.”
“You’re welcome black turtle!” Rak responds happily, “At least the black turtle shows gratitude to the leader!”
Khun narrows his eyes at Rak, “Why you-”
“I’ll go grab some napkins,” Bam interjects again to keep the relative peace that he knows won’t last too long, “I’ll meet you back at the table.”
Khun gives Bam a nod to show he heard him before he leads Rak back to the table they were sitting at before. Khun and Rak continue their relative bickering in between their bites of ice cream by the time Bam returns shortly. Although Bam returns with more than just the napkins he places on the table, Khun eyes the small bag dangling from Bam’s wrist with a raise of his brow but doesn’t question it aloud as he passes Bam his ice cream as the latter beams at him in gratitude. Rak seems too absorbed in his own ice cream to notice anything outside of it.
By the time the three of them finish their treats, the others have returned and with all their supplies accounted for, they’re quickly on their way back to their rented rooms. In the bustle of their friends, Khun still can’t seem to lose the prickling sensation in the back of his mind nor can he lose the unsettling pang that pools within his chest as he eyes that small bag dangling from Bam’s wrist. Bam isn’t by his side since Endorsi and Shibisu are now hogging his attention, which is fine, distractions are needed and Khun most certainly needs one of his own.
So, Khun throws himself back in his lighthouse to do more research on the coming floor test within the confines of his own room while the others do as they please. He manages to work out two strategies to implement and is about to start on a third before there’s a knock at his door.
Bam’s voice filters through from the other side. “Khun, can I come in?”
“Yeah, it’s fine,” Khun calls back and steps away from his lighthouse to open the door. The sight of Bam standing before him with the bag in his hand extended towards him makes Khun really want to rethink his choices in opening the door. Khun makes no move to take the bag from Bam’s extended hand, instead he just stares at it as if it would combust before him.
“It’s a gift!” Bam explains cheerily as if that would somehow convince Khun to take the bag from him.
Khun still makes no move and continues to stare blankly at the bag. The prickling sensation in the back of his mind has returned.
“Khun?” Bam says, now with concern.
Hearing the worry in Bam’s voice, Khun quickly snaps out of it and steps aside from the doorway so Bam can fully come in. Bam steps inside as Khun asks him, “Is this from the cart at the marketplace?”
Bam nods and explains, “I’m not sure if you’ll like what I’ve chosen, but since you didn’t say you dislike earrings, I figured I could get you one before we left.”
“Thank you,” Khun says softly. It’s the only words he can manage aloud as he gingerly takes the bag from Bam’s hand. He is grateful for the gift, but just having it in his hands makes him anxious although he hides it well. Jewels no longer meant anything to Khun, but this was different. This was a gift from Bam, his best friend. The one he would go to hell and back for.
“You’re welcome!” Bam smiles brightly as if the gift he gave was one he was receiving. “Do you need help putting it on?”
“No, I got it,” Khun replies with a light smile, he can tell that Bam was eager to see him try on the gift. So, he takes it out of the bag and opens the case to see two mint blue ear cuffs and for a moment his breath catches in his throat. They’re simple, but Khun always liked simple and the color complements his hair and eyes quite well. A warmth seeps into his very being, it’s comforting but frightening, a complete contradiction, and Khun feels like he’s falling. The worst kind of falling. The one that makes him feel like he’s going to hit the ground too fast, too hard, and come out utterly ruined from it because he just doesn’t know how to navigate uncharted feelings like this.
Khun turns to stand before the mirror on the wall beside Bam and attaches the earring onto his ear swiftly without any problems. The Khun family was never known for gifts unless they were used for bargains, bribes, or underhanded meanings, but this gift was one with the purest of intentions from the one person Khun has come to loyally trust with every fiber of his being.
Without a word, Bam reaches out and softly tucks Khun’s hair behind his ear and out of the way. Khun feels his heart lodge itself in his stomach but doesn’t comment. A murmur of thanks is on the tip of his tongue, but he thinks the way the tips of his ears have turned pink are enough of an indicator of how he feels, and he doesn’t trust how his voice is going to sound. So, instead, Khun takes the moment to gaze at the new adornments on his ear through the mirror instead. They’re beautiful and he loves how they look on him. And… it’s not what Khun expected to feel when his gaze locks on to the mint blue cuffs. He thought he’d feel some sort of happiness at seeing such a beautiful set of jewelry on his ear, but he doesn’t. An overwhelming feeling overtakes Khun’s chest, filling it to the brim of his breathing capacity. The earrings feel strange on his ears and Khun wants to write the reason off as simply not being used to wearing earrings again after so long, but he knows that’s not the truth. The desire to take the earrings off starts off small, but he feels it steadily growing stronger.
Khun swallows the gnawing panic consuming him and musters up what he hopes is an excited grin, turning to Bam expectantly. “How does it look?”
“Perfect,” Bam says without hesitation. Again, Bam reaches out to touch the shell of Khun’s ear gently as he examines the earrings he chose for the other, and then Bam smiles so painfully sweet and so blindingly bright at Khun.
Khun thinks he feels like he’s falling all over again. All he wants to do is reach out and pull Bam close and thank him sincerely from the bottom of his heart. But he restrains himself and manages to pull himself together to utter a shaky, “I-I’m glad.”
Bam beams at him, happiness and affection abundant in his bright eyes and his smile so ridiculously sweet again. “Well, I’ll let you get back to your thing then. I have to go train, so I’ll see you at dinner.”
Khun nods in understanding as he places a hand on Bam’s back and steers the other towards the door. “Okay. Good luck with training. See you at dinner.” Khun mentally curses at himself for his rather seemingly rushed words. He hopes Bam doesn’t notice it too much. Luckily, Bam just seems to wave him off as he closes the door behind him.
Khun leans on the door and waits for a moment to make sure Bam doesn’t have any ideas of returning to his room. Once he’s sure that he’s in the clear, Khun lets out a long sigh. The earrings on his ears feel heavier than they should. There isn’t emptiness in his chest anymore, but it feels tight. He now breathes a little easier compared to back then, but it’s not by much. His mind is hyper focused on the earrings and his fingers subtly run by his ears to check that they’re still there, the phantom feeling of Bam’s warm fingers flitting across earlier lingers. Khun thinks he probably won’t get used to the feeling any time soon, if ever at all. If they were any other pair of throw away earrings then maybe he wouldn’t care so much, but these were a gift from Bam.
As if on autopilot Khun moves to stand in front of the mirror again. He takes a moment to admire the pieces of jewelry decorating his ear. Khun really does like them a lot and feels a pang at considering to keep them on. He runs his thumb across them one last time before he finally decides it’s enough. Khun takes off his earrings and puts them back into the case. The blue-haired boy hides away the earrings Bam gifted him in one of his spare lighthouses. Khun doesn’t wear the earrings. He’s too anxious about losing them.
Bam notices right away when Khun joins him at dinner. The dining area is as noisy as ever with everyone gathered and Bam’s voice still manages to cut across all of it as if it’s the loudest one that Khun can always hear.
The golden eyed boy doesn’t reach out to touch this time though. Although that may be due to the tray of food in his hands too. Bam simply makes the observation aloud, “You’re not wearing the earrings.”
Khun feels his skin prickle and heat up starting from his neck and ending at his cheeks. He tries to play the embarrassment he feels off swiftly by patting the seat beside him for Bam to sit down. As Bam takes a seat, Khun tells him, “I put them away. Don’t worry.”
“Oh…” Bam replies, but he looks like he wants to say something more.
Khun doesn’t ask Bam for that more though, instead choosing to focus on his own meal before him.
However, this is Bam and it’s not even two bites into their meal before the chestnut-haired boy asks, “Are you sure you liked the earrings? It’s okay to tell me if you don’t, you know.”
Khun knows him well, there’s doubt behind Bam’s question as if Bam is worried he might have overstepped a boundary by giving Khun the gift. Khun swallows his mouthful and says immediately with every ounce of sincerity he has in him to hopefully put Bam at ease. “They’re lovely, which is why I don’t want to lose them.” The disappointment lingers in Bam’s kind golden eyes and they’re a stark contrast to the energetic happiness Bam expressed in his room. Khun feels a little guilty for having put that there, so he tries to make it up to his best friend. “I’ll wear them during special occasions or whenever you specifically ask me to wear them.”
“I’d like it if you wear them all the time,” Bam suddenly flusters after saying that aloud, realizing it sounds demanding of him to say that so he follows it up with, “If you want to that is.”
Khun finds it endearing. The way Bam treats him so kindly and wants him to be comfortable with whatever choice he makes. But, even with Bam telling him this, Khun finds that lifelong habits are still far too hard to break. And that insufferable falling feeling has hit him full force again. Khun can only hope Bam will understand as he tells Bam, “I want to, but I don’t want to lose the earrings you gave me more.”
“Ah, okay,” Bam replies and decides to not push further this time.
Khun isn’t sure if he’s supposed to be grateful for that or not. For the briefest of seconds, Khun wonders if he should explain himself to Bam. But where does Khun even begin? How could he even begin to explain the constricting feeling in his chest that starts up from just looking at the earrings? How does he explain his irrational compulsion to put things into neat little categories and spaces that compartmentalizes his emotions for him? How does he explain that he feels as though the floor gives out beneath him and he’s free falling every time Bam and anything related to Bam is in his proximity?
In weighing the pros with the cons, it just seems better to keep things left unsaid.
The thing is, when Khun falls he also hides the important parts of himself away into the safety of the recesses of his mind. Just like how he used to have the horrible habit of hiding away precious jewels instead of displaying them for public viewing. It’s easier to hide away the things that are too precious, too valuable, too breakable, to be exposed to the world. A place where only he knows about and has exclusive access is so much safer.
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Aguero can’t say that he wasn’t particularly close with Kiseia. They were cousins by blood, but he did regard her as his own little sister since they were raised as siblings. Aguero is sure that Kiseia was the one to give him his second jewel. No, that’s wrong. Kiseia didn’t give it to him. Rather, they fought over it like the children they were. Well, fought might be an understatement given their level of skill on the battlefield even if they were children, it wasn’t as if they were ever allowed to truly act their age. After all, the smarter they were, the stronger they were, the more blood they spilled to obtain power, the better they were in the eyes of all the so-called family that judged them only for their capabilities.
Kiseia is only eight when she kills for the first time.
Aguero is ten when he threatens his little sister’s life.
“Give that back, Aguero!” Kiseia seethes in anger and points her sharpened blade at her brother.
Aguero doesn’t flinch. He’s already had countless blades directed at him time and time again, this one is no different. Instead, Aguero grins despicably at Kiseia’s lost in temper. He makes sure to keep a distance between them so she can’t surprise attack him. The jewel he took from her isn’t that big, it’s the size of a plump grape at most. He holds the red jewel tauntingly between his thumb and forefinger, enjoying the way it reflects the light of the setting sun and spills its sparkles across the walls of their home in their small backyard. He ignores the way Kiseia glares at him with disdain and asks calmly, “Where did you get this?”
When Kiseia freezes at his question, Aguero has the answer already figured out. But, Kiseia isn’t a liar, she never was, so she gives Aguero the answer he’s expecting, “I took it from the girl I assassinated for our elder sister.”
“Why?” Aguero inquires with a bored sigh.
Kiseia answers, mouth twisted in frustration, “Proof that I got the job done, brother.” She doesn’t understand why her brother is acting like this. They hardly ever fought, and if they did he usually gave into her requests if she was persistent enough. She had nothing but respect for him and yet here he is getting in her way.
Aguero looks at Kiseia’s blade before his eyes sharply meets her own. His next question seems to cut her deep. “Did you like it?”
“It was an order. I had to do it. There’s no room to think of like or dislike,” Kiseia states, but there’s a soft shaky quiver to her voice that only Aguero ever seems to notice. Kiseia grips her blade harder as if that would solidify her conviction. “That girl died by my blade and that was all there was to it. I promised I would help in any way that I am capable. Our elder sister has to be the next Jahad princess.”
Aguero pauses, he calculates the next words that come out of his mouth carefully. “I was simply asking if you like the jewel, Kiseia. Not of your first kill.”
An indescribable emotion flickers across Kiseia’s face as her brother’s words register into her mind. The last word he utters echoes within her like a broken record. Kill. Kill. Kill. She finally loses it. Anger and something akin to what Kiseia identifies years later as a tinge of helplessness fills her being. Kiseia charges at Aguero, blade grasped tightly in both her hands. “The jewel is mine, brother! Give it back already!”
Aguero stops Kiseia’s attack at the last second with his own hidden blade pulled expertly from his pocket. There isn’t a single Khun on the estate that doesn’t carry a weapon somewhere on their being. He looks down on her as he holds his position against her, “No. I quite like how it looks. I’ll be taking this jewel.” He flicks his wrist, forcing Kiseia to retreat back, and brings his arm up then swipes it back down to create more space between them.
“Why are you acting like this?” Kiseia practically screams at him. She lunges at him again and manages to snag a corner of his shirt as he side steps her attack.
Aguero counters her with a question of his own, “Why are you helping our elder sister?”
“Because-!” Kiseia slashes at him again, this time aiming for his chest. “She deserves to be a princess!” She wants to immobilize Aguero, not kill him. At least, not yet. Not until the very day, not too far from their near future, when she finds out how truly despicable he is.
“Does she?” Aguero says quietly under his breath. Kiseia doesn’t hear him though as her blade purposely slices across his shoulder. He bites back the pain and uses Kiseia’s momentary shock at wounding him to knock her blade out of her hand. He curls his hand into a fist over the jewel and lands a punch to her gut forcing her to gag and slump over onto the grass. Kiseia attempts to catch her breath and get back up to fight again. But a bone chilling sensation runs through her small body as she looks up from her position on the floor to see Aguero, her brother, leveling his knife at her neck.
Aguero’s eyes are darker than their usual blue and his words are as cold as ice. “What if I end up killing you to get our dear elder sister to that coveted princess position?” At the time, Aguero doesn’t realize how vile are these words he spews, he only knows that he’s capable of making them true. “You can out fight me, Kiseia, but you can never outsmart me.”
Kiseia is at a loss for words because there is nothing she can possibly say that would make Aguero’s words turn into lies. She knows she is simply another chess piece on her brother’s board game. If they really think about it though, they’re all chess pieces in the grander scheme of things.
Seeing that Kiseia has nothing left to retort and her anger having dissipated, Aguero asks another question. “You could have taken anything from the girl to bring back. Why did you take this jewel, Kiseia?”
A few seconds of silence passes, but eventually Kiseia says weakly, “I don’t know why I took it. I just felt like it was something I should have done.”
“Hm,” Khun hums in acknowledgment of Kiseia’s answer. He adds, “Don’t let our elder sister or mother know.”
Kiseia tilts her head in a rare sight of childish confusion, “About the kill?”
“About the jewel,” Khun emphasizes pointedly as he pockets the red gem along with his blade. “If mother or our elder sister asks for proof, tell them you destroyed the jewel to make it look like the girl was being robbed. I don’t care about the kill itself.”
It’s best not to care.
Kiseia hesitates to answer at first, but ultimately agrees. “Alright. Don’t tell mother or sister that I hurt you either.”
“I wasn’t planning to tell them anything. If anyone asks it was a training mishap from our lessons,” Aguero replies. He knows Kiseia has more to say though and it’s wearing on his patience that she is remaining silent, “If you have something else to say then spit it out.”
“For what it’s worth,” Kiseia starts, her voice quivering slightly again. “I’m sorry, Aguero.”
The adrenaline in his body was slowly wearing off making the shallow pain more noticeable than before. The deep sticky red seeping through his white shirt matches in color with the red jewel weighing down his pocket. Aguero sighs in exhaustion as he turns away from his little sister, “Don’t apologize. I was fighting with you too.”
Aguero easily avoids any witnesses as he returns to his room to discard his ruined shirt. He makes quick work of bandaging his wounds with a first aid kit he keeps in his bathroom; the bleeding having already stopped since it was a shallow cut to begin with. After he puts on a new shirt, he pulls the red jewel out of his pocket. He takes a moment to look at it. The red jewel twinkles ominously in the palm of his hand. He does like the way it looks. Although red isn’t a color he particularly likes often, and the cut of the circular gem is so precise and even that it lacks any imperfections on its surface just how he prefers it. Aguero decides he’s going to hide this jewel away too. So he doesn’t lose it. So no one can ever find this jewel again except himself.
He stands before his bed and gets on his hands and knees so he can reach underneath the floorboards. He pries one of them loose and quietly puts it aside before plunging his hand into the empty cavity to take out the blue jewel wrapped in his old handkerchief. His old desk had been replaced a year back, but that’s fine he’s quite creative when he has to find new hiding spots. He carefully places the red jewel beside the blue one before he wraps them both up together and places them back underneath the floor. Once the floorboard is securely back in its place again without any trace of its tampering, he gets back up and pats off any dust clinging to his clothes.
Aguero considers heading back outside again as he walks out of his room and closes the door. He makes it as far as the top of the staircase before he spots his mother already midway up the flight of stairs herself. As he makes his descent, she stops him as he tries to pass her with a gentle hand on his injured shoulder. It doesn’t hurt necessarily, but it’s not comfortable either.
His mother speaks before Aguero even gets the chance to greet her first. Her tone is light, almost as if she is talking about something as mundane as the weather, but the meaning behind her words were truly a reckoning of events to come. “Kiseia will be an asset to us. Although she doesn’t lie too well yet, she was smart enough to get rid of any evidence so that girl’s family can’t trace the kill back to us. Use her well, Aguero.”
“Yes, mother,” he murmurs plainly in response.
His mother gives his shoulder a gentle squeeze, Aguero is careful to not give anything away with his expression, before she makes her way up the rest of the stairs. As his mother ascends, Aguero’s eyes catch on to the flicker of light blue that darts back into the hallway underneath the staircase.
Aguero knows Kiseia has heard every word. He takes his time getting down the stairs, taking one step at a time. His shoulder hurts. He has two choices. One was to walk out that front door without looking back. Second was to head towards the hallway under the staircase where he knows Kiseia is standing, waiting.
Aguero’s feet betray him and he’s underneath the staircase before his brain turns his autopilot off. His eyes stare expectantly at Kiseia as she stands mutely before him. He isn’t sure what he expected, but her silence already speaks volumes.
Kiseia is carrying a first aid kit in her hands. Her knuckles have turned white from gripping it so hard. Aguero knows the kit isn’t for herself. His shoulder throbs painfully again. Kiseia looks down at it as she speaks, “Thank you, brother.”
“Don’t thank me,” Aguero says curtly in reply as he turns away from her and walks out the front door.
In truth, deep down, Aguero is terrified of his little sister.
And Kiseia? She’s not even the slightest bit afraid of her older brother.
Aguero is selfish.
Kiseia is misguided.
In a family like the Khuns, blood is not nearly thick enough for it to warrant anything above a temporary alliance at best and a gruesome death at worst.
><
Khun denies it at first. Love. An emotion that doesn’t seem to fit in his very being. He’s not used to it. Doesn’t want to get used to it. He knows it hurts more to lose love than it does to gain love.
He has learned his lessons. Love is cruel. Love is irrational. Love is blinding. And, love is not forgiving. The scars never truly heal and the worst of it all is that they leave behind ghosts that come to haunt him when he’s trying to cast them all away. He’s paid enough for his trespasses against this intangible feeling that lies in his soul and tarnishes his otherwise impeccable mind. So, he denies that sickening emotion that twists and claws at his heart every other time, every other chance, and every other moment.
Well… He tries to at least, because when the floor gives out right from under him again, and he’s left falling without restraints knowing that hitting that bottom ground is going to be utterly devastating, he thinks for the briefest of moments that it could also be beautiful too. Maybe he’s also a glutton for punishment or a tad more masochistic than sadistic than he initially believes himself to be. Or maybe, Bam just seems worth that repeated lesson Khun seemingly always has the misfortune of failing.
When Khun gets another call about Bam collapsing for the nth time, Khun of course drops everything and immediately rushes to the other’s side. All along the way Khun curses out his frustration and his inability to do anything other than helplessly feel unprepared for every circumstance thrown their way. When he gets to Bam’s room, their friends are already surrounding Bam’s bedside worried out of their minds and Khun doesn’t blame them in the slightest. Normally, Khun would be making his way to Bam’s side and their friends would immediately move aside for him as if giving him a straight path to Bam was the right thing to do, but this time Khun holds back. He lets the noise and nervous chatter of their friends bounce off and around them until Rak finally notices him just standing there gritting his teeth and fingers curled into tight fists at his sides. Rak understands.
“Black turtle needs his rest!” Rak announces over the cacophony of voices, effectively silencing them all in one go, “You other loud turtles should get out. Blue turtle will keep watch over black turtle.”
It’s only then that everyone in the room notices Khun standing behind Rak, tense and radiating displeasure. They mumble their apologies and short words of comfort as they begin to shuffle out of the room past Khun without any further argument although they know it probably isn’t much help.
Rak is the last to linger in the room as he faces Khun. “The black turtle will be okay. He is my prey and my prey is always strong. Blue turtle worries too much.”
Khun huffs at Rak’s words and finally speaks, “Being strong doesn’t mean he’s not going to recklessly run himself into the ground, gator.”
“We’re not losing black turtle a second time, blue turtle,” Rak says seriously, “You’re thinking too much again.”
Khun doesn’t respond, he only clenches his fists tighter. Rak leaves and closes the door behind him with an audible click. It’s barely when Khun can no longer hear Rak’s departing footsteps that Bam starts to stir awake. Khun sighs and pulls a chair with him to Bam’s bedside. He takes a seat and patiently waits for when Bam is ready to open his eyes. Warm gold meets cold blue not a moment later. Silence. Awkward silence.
“How are you feeling? Do you need anything?” Khun asks softly, trying to break the tension in the air, although his inner turmoil is raging. “Are you okay, Bam?”
“I’m fine, Khun,” Bam replies immediately, he hopes it’s reassuring enough. “Um, what happened?”
“You lost consciousness again,” answers Khun shortly, his face is blank, but the tone of his voice sounds tired.
“Oh…” Bam at least has the decency to appear sheepish as he carefully sits up. He knows Khun isn’t happy with him about this and he’s definitely going to get an earful from the blue-haired man for this. So, he waits for it, and waits, and waits, and… it never comes. What takes its place instead is just silence. Bam fidgets with the ends of the blanket that pooled into his lap when he sat up and chances a glance at Khun. The other has his arms crossed, fists clenched, a deep frown marring his pretty face, and eyes staring at anything but at Bam.
“Khun?” Bam waits until Khun looks at him before he continues, “Are you going to scold me for passing out again?”
“Are you going to listen?” Khun nearly snaps, but it doesn’t sound the least bit biting or angry rather it sounds like Khun is pleading with Bam instead.
“You definitely make a point there,” replies Bam as apologetically as he could muster. He knows it isn’t the answer that Khun is looking for but what else was he supposed to say? It’s not as if pretty lies are going to magically make things any better. If anything, they make it worse.
“Then I’ll save us both the trouble and save my breath.” Khun looks away and sighs as he runs a hand down his face in exasperation.
“Sorr-” Bam stops mid-sentence as Khun slides a cool hand under his bangs across his forehead. He stiffens, surprised at the sudden touch, but welcomes it as he leans into it.
“You’re not sick, are you?” Khun asks him with concern filling his eyes, “I’ve tried to summon the fire fish, but it says it can’t heal anything if there are no injuries to begin with.”
“I-I’m not sick. I promise,” Bam says with another one of his reassuring smiles, “I just need to get stronger.”
Khun frowns again, worry and anxiousness settling into the pits of his stomach at Bam’s determination to keep running forward without any caution. Before he really thinks about what he’s doing, Khun glides his hand behind Bam’s neck to tilt the latter’s head back slightly. Khun gets up from his seat to lean over Bam and places his forehead against the other’s gently.
“You have a fever,” Khun murmurs, eyes not leaving Bam’s. It’s not a lie, Bam’s temperature does feel high to him.
“Uh, Khun… I think you’re the one with the fever…” Bam says hesitantly, worry and confusion flashes in his eyes.
“I don’t have a fever,” Khun insists, although he remembers that he can’t really control his body temperature correctly anymore. So, maybe Bam is right after all. Khun doesn’t make any move to distance himself from Bam though. He just wants a few more seconds where Bam feels real, and solid, and warm in his hands right before his very eyes. Despite being so close to Bam, Khun feels as though Bam is a million miles away. And chasing after Bam who’s a million miles away feels like a feat Khun isn’t sure he’s capable of but he knows he’ll always keep trying.
“Khun?” The concern in Bam’s voice doesn’t go unmissed. Bam reaches up to touch Khun’s wrist but Khun is faster this time and releases Bam before he gets the chance, although it’s not before Bam sees the flicker of pain and maybe a bit of underlying panic flash across Khun’s unwavering eyes.
“Call me or the others if you need anything. Get some rest, Bam.” Khun says as he stands up ready to take his leave. But, Bam reaches out and grabs hold of Khun’s hand before he can step too far away.
“Wait!” Bam says urgently, “Don’t leave yet.”
Khun is visibly startled at Bam’s unexpected outburst, “Wh-”
“You’re still upset right?” Bam questions earnestly, seeing right through Khun, “I know me apologizing won’t make things better because I’m bound to do more things that you’re going to think is reckless and make you be upset with me all over again. But, don’t leave when you’re still in the middle of being upset with me.”
Bam’s expression is pleading and Khun isn’t sure how to respond. Khun’s chest constricts so tightly he almost forgets how to breathe, and he instantly feels himself already forgiving Bam before he can even have anything to say about it. All the affection Khun harbors in his being for Bam begins to bubble up and threaten to spill over into every fiber of himself. It’s harder to have no affection for Bam than it is to have it. Earnest kindness seeps from Bam like an endless flow of shinsu. And to people like Khun, who are experts in treachery and distrust but novices in the genuine warmth of sincerity, it’s hard not to get caught in that flow and swept far away. So, Khun squeezes Bam’s hand that’s gripping his like a vice grip and tells him softly, “You need to rest, Bam.”
Bam shakes his head defiantly, “Not until you’re feeling better. Maybe you should rest too. You have a fever.”
With Bam looking at him with so much concern and endearment in those desperate golden eyes, Khun knows he’s done for. Khun is no longer falling. He’s hit the bottom ground so hard for Bam that all that’s left of him is the aftermath of a wreckage. The urge within him to hide away gets stronger, but this time it’s not about his own feelings. Khun wants to hide Bam away. But, Khun can’t, won’t, tell Bam that. It wouldn’t be right of him to do so, not to mention it would be so horribly selfish. Bam isn’t a jewel. Bam is much better than any jewel. The realization shakes Khun at his core.
“Okay,” Khun breathes out, his brain isn’t doing too well to process what he’s saying anymore. All that keeps replaying in his mind is the fact that he just wants to hide Bam away. “I’ll stay. Only if you’re going to sleep and rest.”
Bam hesitates to let go of Khun’s hand until he realizes Khun means it and isn’t going to run away from him. “Okay,” Bam scoots over in the bed and pats the empty space beside him, “We’ll sleep.”
Khun is too exhausted emotionally and physically to even bother to get worked up over something like sharing a bed with Bam. He just turns out the lights and climbs into the bed, letting Bam throw half of the blanket over him. Khun turns so that he’s laying on his side facing Bam and unsurprisingly Bam is facing him too. For once Khun takes Rak’s advice and stops thinking so much, he gives into his impulses and leans forward again, blue locked on to gold, as he knocks his forehead against Bam’s and stays like that.
It’s warm as Khun grabs the edge of their blanket and pulls it high enough so that it covers both their heads with it. Restlessness buzzes insufferably at the edges of his mind and an anxiousness overtakes him in the most annoying, and unshakable, way. If there was no way to hide Bam away from the rest of the world, then Khun will make his own hiding spot. Even if it’s only temporary. Even if it only lasts for a night. It’s enough to calm Khun.
Bam is silent as he lies under the blanket, but Khun knows concern burns in Bam’s gaze.
So, Khun closes his eyes and tries to ignore Bam’s eyes. Khun is not up for explaining himself tonight. He only murmurs a quiet, “Go to sleep, Bam.”
Bam doesn’t say anything at first, but Khun feels one of Bam’s hand intertwine with his and eventually he hears a soft, “Goodnight, Khun,” whispered into the darkness.
Khun’s chest aches at the gesture. He never wants to let go. “Goodnight, Bam.”
When Khun finally hears Bam’s breathing even out and sense the way the tension eases up beside him, he finally opens his eyes to gaze at Bam’s peaceful face. Their foreheads are bumping, noses brushing lightly with even the most miniscule of movements, the fingers of their hands wound tightly with each other, and they’re completely surrounded by warmth in the darkness. Khun wishes this could last, wishes that there was a way to tuck Bam away from anything in the world that tries to do Bam harm allowing him to take the brunt of all that pain instead, and most of all wishes that there was some way to love Bam without the fear of losing him. When love is involved, Khun knows it blinds him and makes him lose all sense of rationality and he can’t risk that when he’s with Bam but it’s far too late.
Khun is in love with Bam.
Fully. Wholly. Dearly.
Khun loves Bam.
But, Khun ruins the things he loves if he doesn’t hide them away.
And Bam is just so precious and so valuable to him and he’s afraid, terrified, of the day that Bam will break despite how indestructible Bam appears to everyone around them.
It’s not even a question of if Bam will break either, rather it’s a question of when.
Khun learns that love is not merciful.
><
Honor and pride are the only things the Khun family ever desires above all else. They fight themselves bloody for it. They betray each other for it. They die for it. And the cycle repeats itself over and over and over until the beginning and end are no longer in sight. Aguero wonders what’s so good about struggling for honor and pride when there’s no certainty in keeping it.
Maria is the last person to ever give Aguero a jewel. Its color is a translucent liquid honey gold and it’s in the shape of a diamond no bigger than a rose petal. Maria lets the jewel sit in the palm of her hand, offering it to Aguero with one of her coy smiles. Aguero simply looks at it silently.
The two of them are alone at the edge of the pier near the training facility to have one last run through of the strategy. Aguero wasn’t expecting anything from Maria out of this. The plan was simply to get Maria seated right beside the king. It started as a whim and developed into something that he never would have anticipated despite his foresight on most things. Everything about Maria was just so overwhelming. Her kindness was unlike anything he’s ever encountered. At the cusp of adulthood, the last measly shreds of his adolescence hanging on to him by the fingertips, it’s not shocking that Aguero chases after this miracle that’s come into his life in an attempt to fill the void within himself that he never knew was missing until she came.
“You told me that you like collecting jewels awhile back,” Maria tells Aguero when she sees that he isn’t going to take the jewel from her, “I want to give you this as a thank you for helping me with the final competition.”
Aguero looks away from the jewel in Maria’s hand to scrutinize Maria’s expression. She seems sincere and, honestly, that’s more than enough for Aguero. He takes the jewel from Maria’s hand without any further hesitation.
“I’m surprised you can remember something said in passing like that,” Aguero says jokingly as he inspects the jewel, the shine is brighter than any of his other jewels. “You couldn’t pick something a little less tacky? Is this jewel even real or a fake?”
“How rude,” Maria rolls her eyes at him but giggles afterwards, knowing he doesn’t mean it. “Of course, I would give you the real thing as a gift. It was extremely expensive you know, so you better take good care of it.”
Aguero decides he does like the jewel, maybe even loves it. He loves the jewel because it’s from Maria. Aguero hums in response as he puts it away into his pocket, “Yeah, yeah.”
“You could have the jewel fashioned into a bracelet or a necklace,” Maria says happily, “Or even earrings! You like those best right, A.A.? I wasn’t too sure about what style you would like though, but I know you’re super picky, so I figured it would be best to just leave it up to you to decide.”
Aguero smiles at her chatter feeling a rare sense of content to be in her presence. Maria came into his life like the breath of oxygen he needed from suffocating for too long. And for something as simple as that, Aguero will always be grateful for Maria.
“It’s rare that you’d have that look on your face. Why are you smiling like that?” Maria stands directly right in front of him so she’s the only thing in his line of sight, “Did you like my gift that much?”
Aguero frowns immediately upon hearing her point it out. “I wasn’t even thinking about that,” he tries to play it off nonchalantly, “I just have something to do after this.”
“Oh?” Maria’s eyes light up with curiosity, “And what’s that? It must be exciting if it could put you in a good mood.”
“Nothing you need to worry about,” Aguero replies, “Besides, stop focusing on me and focus on the more important stuff. The only thing that flighty head of yours should be focusing on is winning the competition.”
Maria pouts at being brushed off, but she sighs in reluctance. “If you’re on my side, I’m sure I’ll be more than fine. As long as you’re there it’ll all work out.”
Aguero thinks lies are typically ugly and something that festers until they’re exposed, but when they come from Maria, lies become something close to beautiful and he finds himself believing in them if only briefly.
“A.A.,” Maria says, her tone more serious than Aguero has ever heard from her. “Do you think I deserve to be the princess of Jahad more than your elder sister?”
Yes. It echoes in his mind before he gets the chance to even analyze her question and scrutinize the legitimacy of his own answer. He catches himself pausing midway from opening his mouth and letting it slip out. Aguero decides he doesn’t want to tell Maria that, at least not yet.
“I don’t know anything about deserving,” Aguero answers her and before she can retort he adds, “I just know with certainty that you will be a princess of Jahad after tomorrow.”
Maria only smiles kindly at him in return.
When Aguero returns home that evening, he expects no one to be there since the preparations for the final competition are already in full swing. He heads to the living room and inspects the fireplace for a moment, he doesn’t hear any movement or sounds from anywhere in the home, so he taps on one of the higher bricks just under the mantle. The brick loosens after a handful of finger taps and he manages to pull the piece out from its resting place to reveal a hiding spot. He reaches in and pulls out the small satchel that ring out in soft clinking noises as it dangles from his forefinger, he loosens the top of the bag and pulls the gold jewel he received from Maria out of his pocket. Aguero looks at it fondly, knowing that it’s already his favorite out of all the ones he’s collected. He briefly looks into his satchel, the ones that stand out the most to him are still the large square blue jewel and the circular red jewel he obtained years ago, but those are absolutely nothing in comparison to this translucent gold jewel. So, to prevent himself from losing this precious jewel he will hide it away just like the others. Aguero carefully places Maria’s jewel into the bag with a resounding clink and pulls the string on the satchel to close the bag before placing it back into its hiding place with the brick pushed back in as if it was never loosened in the first place.
Satisfied with the hiding place, he turns to head back upstairs to his room. Although he doesn’t get far because just as he’s about to reach the stairway, he hears his elder sister call out to him from the hallway leading to the kitchen.
She comes into the living room not even a second later with her battle gear on and looks at him with a familiar neutral coldness. “Aguero, did you just come back?”
“Yes, sister,” he answers her curtly. It’s always awkward to talk to her and there’s always a feeling of distance that just can’t be bridged no matter how much he used to try. “Why are you dressed like that?”
“I’m heading out to train,” she replies just as shortly.
Aguero nods at her, “Okay, I will-”
She cuts him off midsentence, her voice sounds expectant. “Are you still working on the strategy for the competition tomorrow?”
Aguero pauses. Normally his temper would flare slightly at her demanding nature but for some strange reason he’s calmer than he’s ever been. “No, it’s finished. I will tell you about it when you return.”
“Excellent,” his sister says and heads towards the front door without a single sign of gratitude.
“Sister,” Aguero calls out, his back is turned to her as he stares at a spot at the top of the flight of stairs.
His sister doesn’t answer right away but he knows she’s heard him. Her voice is still as cold as ever, “What is it?”
Aguero still doesn’t turn around to face her. “How do you think honor and pride is defeated?”
His elder sister pauses, taken back by her younger brother. It’s rare that Aguero would ask her a question. She answers honestly, “I’m not sure. Tell me.”
And so Aguero does, with the coldest, yet calmest, tone he’s ever had the gall to use with her. “It’s with shame and humiliation.”
She gives Aguero a pensive look that goes missed by her brother, but eventually she simply says, “I’ll be wary of it.”
Once his sister leaves through the front door, Aguero starts climbing up the stairs to go to his room again. It’s not until he reaches the top of the stairs does he realize he’s grinning like a maniac from ear to ear. His sister will never see it coming. And Maria will get exactly everything she deserves and maybe even more. Aguero’s plan is completely flawless. Perfect in every regard.
So, when everything around Aguero finally crumbles into a heap of ruins, he is more than ready to leave it all behind. It leaves him empty again, of course it does, but it was never meant to last. At least, that’s what he tells himself anyways.
Because Aguero always sees it coming.
It doesn’t hurt. Betrayal. It never does.
Cunning and betrayal are the very essence of the Khun blood that runs through each and every one of their veins.
Honor and pride weren’t things Aguero ever desired, they were just the very things he wanted to throw away with his own hands.
><
Khun wonders if one day he will be placed in a position that will force him to betray Bam, even if he doesn’t want to, even if he fights with everything in his being not to. They’re no longer the kids they were when they first met on the testing floor. They’ve grown and changed in the time that they were apart and even more so in the time that they were together. But the blood they bleed and the allies, no, the friends that have died and continue to die during their climb of the tower slowly but surely grows doubt within their hearts and minds. Khun has changed from his past, but that doesn’t mean his past doesn’t follow him.
But Khun quickly banishes the ridiculous thought from his mind. He’s much smarter than that and knows it’s something that should never happen so long as he’s always by Bam’s side. But the guilt is still there for even having such a thought in the first place.
So, Khun has to ask when Bam joins him for a strategy meeting and lunch in his room. “Bam… Do you think I would ever betray you?”
Bam raises a brow and has to put down the chocolate bar he’s about to eat that he got from Rak during breakfast. “Do you have plans to?”
Khun’s reply is instantaneous and filled with truth and sincerity. “No.”
“Great, cause I’d like a heads up, but I doubt I can really do anything against you, Khun,” Bam chuckles as he takes a bite out of his candy.
Khun takes comfort in the easy way that Bam is able to push his worries aside with just a simple sentence. It makes his concerns seem silly after all and the guilt ebbs a bit. He smirks confidently at Bam, “If I did, I would never warn you about it, what kind of strategist do you take me for?”
“One that is currently overthinking something,” Bam smiles reassuringly at him. “I trust you, Khun.”
Khun is struck silent as his heart skips nearly all the beats before it starts up again sprinting with loud thuds that echo in his ears. His voice has never been shakier in front of Bam and he’s almost afraid of the answer he’s going to receive but Khun knows he has to hear Bam’s answer, wants to hear it, so he has to ask. “Do you really?”
“Of course! More than anyone. Always.” Bam answers without hesitation and beams at him as if Khun is the sun he orbits and not the other way around. The way Bam says it so surely, so certainly, just leaves no room for argument or doubt. Khun thinks if he’s hit the bottom ground in ruins before then this feeling as he gazes at Bam is nothing in comparison to it.
“Sometimes I wish I could just hide you away,” Khun admits, blurts out before he gets the chance to bite his tongue. He feels his cheeks flush hot as he realizes what he just said aloud.
Bam unexpectedly chokes on the last bite of his chocolate bar and coughs out a confused, “What?”
Khun slaps him on the back apologetically as Bam tries to clear his throat and hands him a bottle of water from one of their trays. “I-I used to have this habit…” Khun starts and he knows he’s beginning to ramble but it’s as if the flood finally broke and he feels like he at least owes Bam this explanation as the other stares at him with curious golden eyes, “From when I was younger and still with my family. It was irrational, but I think it might have been some sort of… coping mechanism.”
The coughs have finally subsided and Bam nods for Khun to continue. It’s very rare of the blue-haired man to speak of his past so Bam knows that this is something important that Khun is trying to share with him.
Khun inhales sharply before he lets it go in a huff. He looks away from Bam down to his hands that now sit in his lap. “It started with jewels. Some of them were given to me or I would obtain them through fighting or bargaining. I really liked them for some unfathomable reason and would act like a hoarder whenever I got my hands on one that I wanted. I was always too afraid of losing any of those jewels, so I never got them fashioned into jewelry or tried them on for myself. All I wanted was to just put those jewels away in a safe place.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Bam says gently when Khun goes silent. “Those jewels were something important to you and you wanted to protect them in your own way.” Bam reaches up and runs his thumb across the piercing holes on Khun’s ear, the small shiver from Khun at the familiar touch doesn’t go unnoticed, “That’s also why you put the earrings I got you away, right?”
“…I thought the habit died when I left the family,” Khun finally continues after digesting Bam’s words but his tongue feels numb and heavy sitting in his mouth as he talks, “But… I think I was wrong because every time I look at you, Bam, those feelings come back and the urge to hide you away feels like it wants to consume me. The things that I like, the things that I love, I want to hide them all away.”
The world stops. In that moment everything abruptly freezes. Then it crashes and burns all together in an immeasurable instant. Gold meets blue. Blue meets gold. And it’s over, over, over.
“You love me?” Bam says it so softly and so in awe that Khun can’t bring himself to deny it any longer.
“Yes,” Khun admits under his breath, “So much that I want to put you somewhere only I know.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Bam promises Khun, “And you aren’t either. I’d hide you away too if you’d let me, you know.”
Suddenly Khun’s hands find their way to Bam’s face, cupping him in the palm of his hands as he brings the brunette closer than ever before. Khun takes the chance because there’s nothing left to lose and he’s no longer going to run away from this, not when Bam is so pliant and eager before him. Their lips connect together like they were always meant to be. Khun kisses Bam. Soft, slow, warm, and with the uttermost and absolute certainty.
They break away with a gasp for air. Bam tries to give chase to Khun’s lips but only gets a brush of Khun’s smiling lips and Bam can’t help but grin into the press of their mouths. Khun hugs Bam close and he feels Bam wrap his arms around him too. Khun presses his lips against Bam’s ear and murmurs softly, “Since I’m not going to let you hide me away either you’ll just have to settle with me always being by your side.”
Bam laughs and hugs Khun tighter to him, “As long as you don’t mind me being by yours.”
“Never. It’s where we belong. By each other’s side.” Khun says as he leans in to meet Bam’s lips again.
Bam is prepared to lock his lips with Khun’s when suddenly at the last second he pulls away with wide eyes as if he’s having some sort of epiphany. “Oh my god, that explains the blanket.”
“What?” Khun sputters, confused as hell as to why Bam is talking about a blanket when they have better things to do. Khun leans in again hoping Bam would forget it and talk about it later.
“When you pulled the blanket over our heads that one time I collapsed, and all the other times we slept on the same bed and shared a blanket,” Bam explains as he meets one of Khun’s insistent kisses still talking in between every other kiss they share, “I thought it was strange-”
Khun sighs quietly when he sees that Bam is just going to continue talking so he’s just going to keep kissing him until Bam’s done processing whatever he’s processing aloud. It wasn’t like Bam was stopping him anyways and he reciprocated every time.
“-because it was hard to breathe with the blankets over our heads while we slept-”
Khun hums in reply, he’s listening but most of his attention is directed to planting another kiss on Bam’s open mouth. It’s fine, multitasking exists.
“-and you never seemed to pull your blanket-”
Khun kisses Bam again, a little more persistent and harder than the last. Bam stutters a bit as he tries to recollect his thoughts after Khun effectively scatters them from his head. Cute.
“-over your head when you’re sleeping by yourself-”
“Mm, that so?” Khun murmurs against Bam’s lips.
“-You were trying to hide me away right?”
Khun immediately stops kissing Bam and pulls back as if he’s been shocked by the other’s revelation. Give it to Bam to of course figure him out. Khun wouldn’t have it any other way though.
This time Bam pulls Khun back in for another kiss that relaxes all the tension in Khun’s body, “It’s okay you know. I don’t mind. I’m just glad I know now. Although, I think we need to come up with a better idea once summer hits otherwise we might suffocate under the blanket.”
Khun grins and bumps his forehead against Bam’s, his blue eyes twinkling with a little amusement and a whole lot of affection. “I think with you, I’ll always be able to breathe easy.”
Even if they can’t hide each other away.