Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Everyone in the cafeteria went quiet as the three demon kings of high school walked in. They’re labeled ‘assholes’ (depending on who you ask) or 'psychos' (depending on who you ask)

To the right, dressed in a black trench coat, was Jason Dean, or, JD. He threatened two jocks with a gun, and only got a week’s detention. He's addicted to Seven-Eleven Slurpees, and would gladly kill for one

To the left in a black jacket and jeans was Connor Murphy. Rumor has it, that in the second grade, he threw a printer at his teacher. He's labeled as a school shooter, probably due to the dark clothes, long hair, and his anger issues

And finally in the middle, with his black hoodie, skull patches, and brass knuckles... Michael Mell. The school stoner, the psycho, and the person that haunts your nightmares every night

People feared them. Students, faculty, even their parents (Students assumed). Separate, they were scary, but together, they're a force to be reckoned with. The nerds would stuff themselves in lockers when they saw them, jocks would clear the way when they walked down the hall, and popular kids would freeze in place until one of them uttered...

”Move.”

And Jeremy immediately left the table, along with Rich, Jake, Jenna, Chloe, Brooke, and Christine when Michael spoke. The three of them took their seats, and everyone went back to minding their own business. The group of seven found another table, and started talking about the school psychos in hushed voices

”God, I hate them.” Rich mumbles, but Brooke immediately shushes him

”Don’t let them hear you.” She whispers ”They’ll murder you, and make it look like an accident.”

Jenna nods in confirmation ”Yeah, but JD would probably make it look like a suicide. I heard that's what happened to Heather Chandler.”

Jeremy looks confused ”What happened to Heather?”

”JD poisoned her prairie oyster and wrote a fake suicide note in her handwriting.” She shudders at the thought ”That’s why I don't drink anything around him. He could've poisoned it.”

”Come on, he didn't do that.” Christine rolls her eyes ”I’m sure they're nice people deep down. It's like Sue Snell, she seems like a total bitch in the first few parts of Carrie, but later, we see she's actually very nice, and she has feelings, but Chris is just-”

”Christine?” Jeremy cuts her off ”You were going a little bit off-topic there.”

”Oh, right. Anyway, they're probably nice people.”

”Then you go talk to them.” Jake points to the trio threatening a jock for his lunch money, and Christine immediately takes back what she said

”Maybe later.”

”That’s what I thought.” Chloe smirks ”They’d kill you in under a second.”

As they continued talking, a student walks by and trips over Jeremy’s backpack, spilling out some of its contents, specifically his notebook which slides right next the psycho's table, much to Jeremy’s horror

”Oh, God.” He starts panicking ”I need that for English class.”

”Dude, it's gone.” Rich says ”They’re gonna tear out the pages and roll them up to snort cocaine or smoke weed.”

”I need it back.” He groans

”Jere, just grab it when they're not looking.” Chloe suggests ”They’re still putting Dustin in a chokehold. They won't notice you.”

He sighs ”Okay. But, if I die, tell my dad to put on some pants.” He gets up from his seat and slowly walks over to their table. Students stop and stare, wondering if he has a death wish. He bends down to pick up his notebook, when suddenly, he feels himself being pulled up. ‘Oh, Lord have mercy.’ He thought. He turned and saw JD holding him by the back of his cardigan, and in front of him was Connor and... Oh, God... Michael.

“Ano ang ginagawa mo?” Michael asked, much to Jeremy’s confusion. When he sees his dumbfounded look, he speaks again “What the fuck are you doing?”

Rather than speaking in full sentences, he stammers “I... I-I-“

Connor mocks him “You, y-you. Spit it out!”

“I-I was just getting my notebook!” He yells

There’s silence for a few seconds until Michael picks up said notebook and shoves it in Jeremy’s hands

“... Uh. Tha-“ Michael grabs him by the front of his shirt and pulls him close so they’re face-to-face

“If you talk to me, or look at me again, I’ll make it so you have to breathe out of a tube.” He threatens, then lets go of Jeremy’s shirt. He walks out the cafeteria with Connor and JD leaving Jeremy still in shock and frozen in fear

“Tall-ass?” Rich pokes him a few times and waves his hand in front of his face “I think Michael broke him.”

Christine shakes him “Jeremy, he’s gone.” She hears him mutter something “What?”

“I... H-have English with th-that maniac!”

“I’m sure it’s not-“ “He said he would have me breathing out of a tube, Jenna!” He screams “He wants to murder me!”

Jake puts a comforting hand on his shoulder
“Bro, we got your back. It’s seven to three, we can easily take ‘em.”

The bell rings and students head to their classes

“But you’re on your own for now. Good talk.” He leaves while the rest of the Squad assure Jeremy that he’ll be fine

“Just avoid him.” Brooke suggests “Pretend that he’s not even in the classroom with you.”

“And if that fails, I’ll pick out your funeral outfit.” Chloe replies, making Jeremy even more terrified of what awaits him in a few hours

Chapter Text

Jeremy's POV

So, yeah. I'm pretty much dead. When I walked into my second to last class of the day, I accidentally looked at Michael, and he saw me! 
And if that wasn’t bad enough, the only empty seat was at the desk Michael was sitting at! Someone took my seat, great! 
Students did everything they could to avoid sitting next to Connor, J.D., and Michael in class. Some would even resort to sitting on the floor. Who could blame them?
I notice him glare at me before looking back at his phone

‘ Oh, God. He’s gonna drag me to the back of the school, beat me up, drink my blood, the bury me on the football field!‘

Taking a deep breath, I walk over to the desk, sat down next to the hoodie-clad psycho, and try my best not to move. The three seconds of silence feel like three hours until I hear Michael mutter something

“Kumurap.”

...‘ That’s it? ’

“Okay, students!” I hear the teacher call out in his way too cheery voice “For your assignment, you will be doing a project with the person you’re sitting next to.”

‘ WHAT?! You want me to work with the guy whose parents probably lock their bedroom door at night to feel safe?! ’

The teacher passes out sheets of paper to each of the students “You will have three weeks research a famous macabre writer, create a PowerPoint, and then present it to the class.” He explains “The papers I handed out are lists of the writers. You will write down your top three picks, hand them to me, and I’ll give you the results tomorrow.”

‘ Why do you just let him kill me now to get it over with? ’

“So,-“ I tense. ’ Is this it? Is this where I die? ’ “which dead person do you wanna write about?”

I mentally sigh with relief, then take a look at the list while sometimes sneaking glances at Michael to see if he’s looking

“I-I guess Vera Sawyer.” I suggest “She wrote about her abusive relationship with her murderer boyfriend.” Michael doesn’t say anything, so I pick another person off the list “Elenor Hansen wrote about her suicide attempts, and how she accidentally caused someone else to commit suicide-“

Michael cuts me off “How the hell do you know about these people?” He asks “Are you a secret emo, or something?”

I honestly can’t tell if he’s mocking me, or if that’s just his regular tone “M-my friend, Christine was in plays based off of them, s-so I just picked it up, and-“

“Got it.” He rolls his eyes, then looks back at the list “Our third person will be Will Connolly. You know anything about him?”

I tried not to stammer as I share my knowledge of the writer “He wrote about how he joined a cult, and left his friend behind all because he was in love with a girl. Then he convinced others to join.”

Michael tears a piece of paper out of his notebook, then writes the names of the writers down ”Alright, we're done.”

I hesitantly continue ”So, should I just tell you when I'm done, or...”

”What?” Michael shoots a glare at me, and I immediately stop functioning

”I-I just as-assumed I-I'd be doing every-”

”Huwag ipagpalagay na tae.” He sneers, making me look down to avoid any eye contact. What did he even say? ”We’re working at my house.”

This caught me off-guard. Michael Mell is inviting me over to his house. Did nobody hear him? Is no one gonna say anything? Nobody cares that I’m going to work on a project at a psycho’s house?

My thoughts are interrupted when Michael slides a piece of paper in front of me

“There’s my number. Call me tomorrow after school and I’ll give you a ride to my place.”

”O-okay.” I put the piece of paper in my pocket “Thanks... So-“

“Shut up.” He tells me before putting on a pair of black headphones and turning the volume up all the way so everyone in the room can hear the sounds of death metal

Normal POV

The school day is finally over. Jeremy felt like he had been holding his breath forever and now finally got to exhale. When he goes to his locker, the Squad bombarded him with questions

”Are you bleeding anywhere?”

”Did he threaten to kill you in your sleep?”

”Does he really smell like weed?”

”Are those fangs real?”

”Guys!” They immediately stop asking questions “I’m dead. The teacher assigned the class projects. Michael and I are working together.”

”Does your teacher want you to die?!” Rich yells

“Rich, please.” Christine says calmly, then turns to Jeremy “Seriously Jeremy, what is wrong with that man?!”

”A-and get this. Get this. We're working at his house!” They express their concern ”This project is probably just an excuse to finish me off! He's always had it out for me!” He exclaims “He set one of my textbooks on fire, trips me in the hallway, and slams me against lockers!”

”Alright look,” Jake starts ”try not to piss him off, stay on his good side. And don't show any weakness, he’ll kill you if you do.”

Jenna adds “And if you find anything covered in blood, take it with you and show it to the police.”

“None of you are helping!”

Outside, Michael, Connor, and JD stand by Michael’s black PT Cruiser, smoking and sipping slushies

“You actually have to work with that dick?” Connor asks, then takes a drag of his cigarette

“Yeah, and he still has that damn stutter.” Michael rolls his eyes then mocks Jeremy “‘I-I-I, uh-um, w-w-well, I ju-just.’ God, it’s annoying!” He takes a sip of his slushie then continues “I have to deal with that for three weeks!”

JD adds “I got his locker combination. I can set tear gas to go off when he opens it.”

“Nah, he’s not worth it.” He flicks the cigarette on the ground, then steps on it “You guys need a ride home?”

“Fuck yeah.” The two exclaim at the same time, then pile in the car.

The Squad walked out of the school, but stop when they saw the PT cruiser pull up to the curb. The windows roll down, revealing the three boys dressed in black. They flip them off then drive away, much to the group’s outrage

“Kita mo bukas, mga dicks!” Michael yells from the distance

“Assholes!” Chloe retorts

Chapter Text

**Flashback** (Warning: Transphobia)

A boy, around ten, wearing a red hoodie was looking through the grass trying to find his missing glasses

Six other kids his age stood and laughed at his predicament, the loudest were the short blonde boy, and a boy holding a basketball. One boy, however, looked uncomfortable as he held a pair of glasses in his hand

“God, he’s pathetic!”

“Lame-ass!”

“Aw, you gonna cry?”

“Stop it!” He screamed, then looked to the one who stopped laughing “Stop, please...”

A shorter boy with blonde hair looked at the boy who stopped laughing “You’re really friends with this pussy?”

He looked at the boy still on the ground, then back to the group of six giving him expectant looks “I... No way! Why the hell would I be friends with her? She’s a loser!”

“Oh my God!”

“He’s a chick?”

The boy in the hoodie stood up, snatched his glasses, and pushed the other boy to the ground “FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!” He screamed, then ran away in tears

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was now Friday, the day Jeremy had been dreading. The teacher had assigned him and Michael, Vera Sawyer.

His friends tried to ease his worries, but their attempts were futile. Michael hated him

“Jeremy?”

What did he even do to him?

“Tall-ass!”

Why is he so mad?

“Heere!”

Jeremy was brought back to reality. He was standing outside the front of his school with his friends. All gave him concerned looks

“Dude, you keep spacing out.” Jake comments “You’re really scared, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Jake! I am!” He shouts

“And you have every right to be.” Jenna says “Just this morning, he punched a Freshman because he spilled water on his jacket.”

“Then at lunch, JD and Connor held Kurt and Ram down while he gave them both purple nurples until they bled.” Chloe adds

Jeremy looks around “Where is he, anyway? He said to call him after school. I-I don’t see him.”

“Maybe he left?” Christine suggests

“Heere!”

The group flinch at the sound of the voice. They turn and see Michael walking over to them. Brooke, out of fear, hides behind her sweater paws

“Let’s go.” He pulls the key to his car out of his pocket and walks past the Squad, being sure to step on Jake’s foot, making the athlete wince in pain

Jeremy follows after him, and sends a pitiful glance his friends way that says ’Help me.’

The inside of his car wasn’t what Jeremy imagined. He thought it would smell of weed and other drugs, and there would be a blood-soaked bag and shovel in the back. But, it was actually nice, and smelled like cherry slushies. There were, however, some things he expected, like the studded steering wheel cover, and a mini plastic skull hanging from the rear-view mirror

The ride to Michael’s house was silent. There were occasional glances, but Michael’s were more hate-filled, making Jeremy look away

Jeremy’s POV

What the hell is wrong with me? I-I’m freaking out for nothing. I just gotta get through these three weeks, and it’ll be over.

I won’t have to talk to him ever again, everything will be behind us. He’ll still ruin my life every chance he gets, but-

“Get out.”

I flinch, then look out the window and see we’ve arrived at his house. Everyone at school always said that he lived in a crime-ridden part of New Jersey, but he actually lives in a two-story home in a nice-looking neighborhood.

Seeing Michael open his door, I open mine and quickly got out

He unlocks the door to his house, and we step in. It’s... Nice. I know I should be scared, but for some reason, I’m not

“Maligayang pagdating sa bahay, sanggol.” I hear a female voice call out. I look and see a woman who looks quite similar to Michael sitting on the couch with a red-haired woman. Both are watching tv

“Kumusta mama. Hoy mom.” He greets in the language that I still don’t understand. He shoots me a look, then turns back to the two women “Ito si Jeremy. Ang batang sinabi ko sa iyo.”

The two women give me a look I can’t decipher. It’s not a glare, but it doesn’t look very welcoming either. The red-haired woman breaks the silence “Well, Jeremy. Welcome. I’m sure you two have to get to work on your project, right?”

The smile on her face looks forced. I nod “Y-yeah.”

She looks back at Michael, and smiles sincerely “Sweetie, your grandma’s in the guest room, make sure you say hi.”

“Okay, mom.” He leaves the room, and I follow once I feel the air becoming thick again

He stops by a closed door, then turns to me

“My room’s the last one down the hall, on the left. Don’t touch anything.”

I guess that’s my cue to leave. I continue down the hallway, and make it to the door on the left. I hesitantly reach for the knob, and finally open the door. I prepare my self for the horrors I’m about to see, but...

It’s nice... The walls are covered with band posters, mostly grunge and death metal, but I notice one or two Bob Marley posters, and some for retro video games. A bed with red sheets sits in the corner of the room. There are two black beanbag chairs by the bed, (probably for Connor and JD) and a sky blue third one. I notice a video game controller sitting on his dresser, which is on the other side of his room, with spare patches, and a pair of black studded headphones

I also notice two flags pinned on his wall. One rainbow, the other, blue, pink, and white. I know what the first one is, that’s for gay people, but I don’t remember what the other one is.

This is honestly not what I was expecting. It’s so bright and lively, save for the grunge posters and skull patches, it’s hard the believe that this is Michael Mell’s room.

“Michael, kung binibigyan ka ng batang iyon ng problema, ipaalam mo sa akin upang ma-smack ko ang kanyang payat na asno.”

I hear the voice of an elderly woman coming from the other room. I assume it’s his grandmother. I know I shouldn’t, but...

I carefully peer into the room, and see Michael talking to an elderly woman sitting on the guest bed. I can see where Michael gets his style from.

This woman is dressed in a grey shirt with a black sleeveless jacket, and black jeans. I think I even see a pink snake tattoo on her forearm

“Lola, magiging maayos ako.”

“Sa totoo lang, ngunit kung pinapatay ka ng batang iyon, nakuha ko ang aking mga knuckles na tanso.” She holds up her fist

Michael chuckles, and kisses her on the cheek. “Mahal kita, Lola.” He gets up, I quickly go back in his room and sit on the bed, pretending I didn’t just see that.

He’s never seemed so... Caring. Was I wrong about him?

“Alright. Let’s get this shit over with so I don’t have to see your damn face.”

Nope.

Chapter Text

Monday at school was quite hectic for Jeremy. Word got out that he went to Michael’s house to work on their project (*Ahem* Jenna), and everyone was asking him all sorts of questions about one of the school’s most feared students

“Did you see police tape?”

“Did you find cocaine in his pillowcase?”

“Did he kill his parents?”

Jeremy felt compelled to tell them all the truth, but Michael made it very clear he didn’t want people knowing what he was like outside of school. He got the message when he cussed him out in the language Jeremy still didn't know

Now he was just sitting in the cafeteria with the Squad, still receiving questions.

“Lemme guess, there was a body bag in the closet, and bloodstains on the walls?” Chloe says

They were his friends, he couldn’t just keep secrets from them. So, Jeremy looks around, making sure Michael isn’t anywhere, listening to his conversation. “It was... Nice, actually.” The Squad gives him weird looks, “I’m serious. There were band and video game posters, there were even two of Bob Marley.”

“I thought he just listened to rock music.” Christine says

“That’s what I thought, too! And his moms are pretty nice-“

“Wait.” Jake cuts him off “Moms?” He repeats, "Plural?"

“Yeah,” Jeremy confirms. “I honestly wasn’t expecting that, either. That’s probably why I saw the rainbow flag in his room.”

“It could be for them, or he’s gay, too.” Brooke says, then takes a sip of her smoothie, leaving the others baffled. Off their expressions, she continues “Yeah, he might be gay.” She repeats “Have any of you ever actually seen him talk to a girl?”

The six of them think for a moment, but nothing’s coming to them

“None that I can think of.”

“Nada.”

“Zilch.”

Rich’s face suddenly lights up “Oh! That’s why he always fucks with you!” He playfully punches Jeremy in the arm

“Excuse me?”

“Dude,” He wraps an arm around Jeremy, “our dear Michael Mell likes you.”

“What?!” He shrieks, “Rich, no way! There is no way he even... I-I’m not even-“

“That’s kind of cute.” Christine gushes “Maybe he doesn’t want to reveal his true feelings to you yet so he likes to mess with you.”

“Chrissy, if any one of them is gay, it’s probably Connor.” Jenna says, looking up from her phone “I heard that when he went to boarding school, he dated this other boy. He also did a few ‘favors’.” She looks back at her phone “So, he might be the gay guy in the group.”

“But Connor hates everyone here!” Jeremy exclaims “Who would he date?”

“How about that guy who always wears polo shirts?” Jake suggests “They seem pretty close.”

“Hansen?” Rich asks “I actually see him talking to Connor, Michael, and JD. I’m surprised they haven’t killed him yet.”

”He hangs out with them?” Jeremy asks, completely shocked at how Evan Hansen, the boy who can’t speak in full sentences without stammering, is hanging out with the school anarchists. "Like, they're friends with him?"

"Yeah," Brooke nods, “they love him.” She put a lot of emphasis on love “I saw JD hugging him one time, and Michael actually punched someone just for pushing him.”

Jeremy looks past them and sees Evan, on the other side of the room, talking to Connor. And Connor’s actually smiling. The sincere kind, and not where he sees someone suffering. It makes Jeremy wonder how someone like Evan Hansen befriended the Trio of Terror.

Flashback

It was their sophomore year. Students parted for Michael, Connor, and JD like the sea did for Moses. They knew better than to get in their way, or they were asking for a death wish. Some, however, didn't get the memo. JV football players, Kurt and Ram fell to the floor as JD stuck his foot out and tripped them.

They passed by Madeline, with her back facing them as she looks through her locker. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail. The ponytail was now on the floor. She let out a scream as Connor slipped a pair of scissors back into his hoodie pocket.

Then finally, Jeremy Heere. Somewhat popular. He hung out with Jake Dillinger and his friends, so that made him cool by association. He was looking through his locker for something. Michael sneers when he sees the tall boy. He reaches into his black and red backpack, and pulls out a black book "Heere!"

Jeremy flinches when he hears the familiar voice. He turns around and finds them. He didn't know what their deal was with him, his friends, and some of the other students, but he was sick of it. Every day they would terrorize him and make his life hell. Doing things like tripping him in the halls, stealing his clothes during gym class so he'd spend the rest of the day wearing sweat-soaked clothes, even pouring slushees on his stuff and blowing smoke in his face.

What would they do now?

"Lookin' for this?" Michael asked, tossing the black book to him. Jeremy looks confused for a moment until he realizes...

"Is this my Biology textbook?!" He flips through the pages, and is relieved to see the pages aren't black like the cover "Why is it black?"

"Connor had black nail polish." JD answered casually

Jeremy caught a whiff of the textbook, and his nose twitched at the strong smell of the nail polish “W-why would you-!" He shuts up when Michael holds up his fist. His brass knuckles displayed, and ready to beat the living daylights out of him. “Never mind.”

~~~

Connor walked to the bathroom, needing to wash the... Cranberry juice off his hands. He had punched Dustin Kropp in the jaw and he spilled cranberry juice all over Connor's hands. When he walked in, he found a blonde boy wearing a baby blue sweater, standing over a sink and splashing water on his face.

Connor recognized the boy as Evan Hansen, one of his sister's friends. He often saw him around his house when Zoe invites her friends over, but they never actually talked to each other. It was mainly due to Evan’s social anxiety and Connor’s reputation.

He cleared his throat, and Evan jumps at the sudden noise.

"Oh... He-hey, Connor." He stuttered, and his eyes looked down to the floor so he wouldn't have to meet Connor's gaze.

Connor didn't say anything. He was just staring at Evan's puffy red eyes, his slightly messed up hair, and the blackened water running down his face. He approached the shorter boy, making him sweat and shake at what Connor Murphy would do to him

"Relax." He tells him "My sister would fucking kill me if I did something to you."

"Uh, th-thanks?" He tensed when he suddenly felt Connor's hand pushing his wet hair off of his forehead and narrowing his eyes at the three big black letters on his skin written in marker

"... Who the fuck wrote this?" He muttered.

"I... I ju-just..." Evan wiped away the tears forming at the corners of his eyes "told a boy I-I have alge-algebra with, that I..." He sniffed "I liked him, and... He yelled at me."

And it was at that moment, Connor was ready to raise some hell

…

Students watched in fear, and amazement as Michael and JD held a redheaded boy by his arms while Connor beat the living crap out of him.

"Don't!" Punch to the face "Do!" Punch to the stomach "That!" Uppercut "Shit!" Another punch in the face "Again!" One more to the face "GOT IT?!" The redhead fearfully nodded. Michael and JD let go of his arms, and he fell to the floor, in too much pain to get up. The students began to disperse, two helped the redhead up. Evan approached Connor with a faint smile on his face

"Thank you..."

Connor shoved his hands into his pockets "Yeah. No problem. But, if you got any problems with guys like him, let us know."

This continued for a while. Connor would gladly beat up any assholes who had the nerve to mess with Evan. Sometimes he did this with Michael and JD, bust most of the time, alone. He even gave Evan his number, to which Michael and JD gave him smug grins. He just wanted to make sure Evan was okay, nothing weird about that... And maybe hang out with him sometime.

End Flashback

"What about JD?" Christine brings up, "Is he gay?"

The Squad ponders this for a moment. They often saw JD hanging out with this girl who wore a ton of blue, but it was strictly platonic.

"...I don't think he likes anyone." Jeremy says

Chapter Text

**Flashback**

Life can go fuck itself.

Michael has been going through hell. Dysphoria, his dad left, transphobic assholes at school, and his only friend left him to be friends with said assholes.

Students constantly dead-named him, and Jeremy was in on it! He didn’t dead name him as much as everyone else, but he wasn’t doing anything to stop it either. It was humiliating.

He couldn’t even go to the bathroom without getting harassed by everyone. At least teachers were nice enough to let him use the faculty bathroom.

He had no one. Sure, there was his mom, Miss Rosie, and his lola, but they won’t always be there for him...

—

Joyous laughter snapped Michael out of his thoughts. Alone at his table, he looked up from his lunch tray and saw Jeremy with his new popular group of friends... He looked so happy. Was he ever like that when they used to hang out?... Michael couldn’t remember the last time he saw him laugh or smile like that . Were those five years together just a sick joke?

Maybe they never were friends. He probably just felt sorry for... For the antisocial girl with no friends... He made his decision, now it was time for Michael to make his.

He got up from his table and left the cafeteria. He was so fucking done.

As he left, he could hear the snide comments the popular kids made

‘God, look at her.’

‘Thought she’d never leave.’

‘Loser.’

—

To anyone who finds this note, I’m sorry you had to find me like this.

Apparently I’m a pathetic lame-ass, pussy, and loser.

I’m alone, disposable, easy to forget. I’ve been planning this for a long time, but I never went through with it because I always found reasons not to... Well, now I have a reason.

And let’s get one thing straight.

I. Am. A. Boy. That’s why I killed myself in the boys bathroom.

Tell my mom and Rosie I’ll miss them, tell my dad he missed out.

And tell Jeremy Heere and his asshole friends to go fuck themselves.

-Michael Salazar Mell

Michael taped the note to the mirror, and was finally ready for the cold embrace of death. He reached into his hoodie pocket and pulled out the a pill bottle he grabbed from home. He unscrewed the bottle and just stared at the gray pills in the orange container for about a minute...

He just had pour them in his mouth and swallow. And he’d finally be free from this living hell.

Pill one... For all the times his dad made him cry

Pill two... For the jackasses at this school

Pill three... For having no one

Pill four... For all of the failed suicide attempts

Pill five... For all the times he cried in bed thinking about Jeremy

“Hey!” A voice shouted out. Two boys ran in. Michael kept a tight grip on the pill bottle as the shorter boy tried to pry it out of his hands.

The boy with long brown hair stuck two fingers in Michael’s mouth and tried to make him hack up the pills.

“Cough ‘em up!” He shouted desperately, tears  forming in his eyes. Michael was confused. Why were these two helping the school loner?, Michael wondered

He didn’t have time to think it over before his gag-reflex acted up, and he threw up four pills on the bathroom floor. He coughed and panted as the short boy checked his pulse

“Come on. Not here.” Once the last pill was on the ground, he turned to Michael with a horrified look in his eyes “Why would you do that?!”

Michael grabbed the fabric of his jeans, desperately needing something to hold on to, to show him this was real: That two students actually cared enough to not let him die

“He left me! He-he laughed at me! He said I was NOTHING!” He saw the pills in the hands of the long-haired boy and tackled him to the floor to pry them out of his hands, “GIMME THOSE! I NEED THEM!”

“STOP!” The boy kept a tight grip on the pill bottle as Michael clawed at them “Jason! Get rid of these!” He tossed the bottle over to the other boy, who Michael now learned was named Jason, and he ran into a stall where he started pouring the pills into the toilet bowl

“NO!” Before Michael could do anything, the long-haired boy kept his arms wrapped tightly around his waist as he struggled to get free. Once he heard the sound of a flush, he started sobbing, “I NEED THEM!”

Jason approaches him, “No! You don’t!” He kneeled down and took Michael’s hand in his, “You don’t need those.”

“... Why did you even do that? Why me of all people? Everyone at this school hates me!”, he shrieks

“They hate us, too,” the other admits, sounding like he’s about to cry, “but you don’t see us trying to overdose in the bathroom!”

Jason nodded before noticing the note. He stands and approaches the mirror, then takes down the note and begins reading it to himself. His mouth is slightly agape, and his brows furrow. Once he reads the last sentence, he turns to Michael, “You were friends with Heere ?”

“... Used to be.”, he mutters

“Well you don’t deserve someone like that.”

The two boys spent about thirty minutes comforting Michael that day, telling him to forget all about Jeremy and he didn’t deserve someone like Michael. They’d always be there for him

**End Flashback**

“That month again?”

Michael, JD, and Connor were just smoking in the stairwell, their turf during study hall/lunch and no one dared to disturb them, not even teachers, when suddenly, Michael kicked the wall in anger and slid down to the floor

Michael nodded, “Yeah.”, Connor dug through his jacket pocket and pulled out a plastic purple square, then tossed it to Michael, “Thanks.”, he got up and began walking out

JD said, “Got a spare pair of briefs in my locker, you know the combination.”

Connor smirked, “Six, six, six?”, and received a punch in the arm from the shorter teen

It’s always been like this. When Michael turned twelve, Connor and JD always made sure to keep pads in their lockers and a change of pants and briefs in their lockers. They received weird looks and some mockery for being friends with a “Tr*nny loser”, but that all got shut down when the three boys beat up a seventh grader who had the nerve to tell Michael to use the girl’s bathroom.

Now whenever it was Michael’s time of the month, guys wouldn’t dare be in the same bathroom as him

“Get. Out.”

Jake, Rich, and Jeremy looked like deer in headlights. Slowly, they made their out of the bathroom, eyes anywhere but Michael’s. Just as they left, a stall door opened up, and out stepped Evan. “Are they gone?”, he asked timidly, and Michael nodded, making the anxious boy let out a sigh of relief

—

Jeremy knew what he saw sticking out of Michael’s pocket. That was definitely a pad. Of course one would know what a pad looked like when they hung out with four girls, and one of them accidentally left their purse or backpack open... But why did Michael have one?