Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bokuto Koutarou

3:58pm

Kuroo: bro

Kuroo: my broiest of bros

Kuroo: i need help

Bokuto: whats up bro

Kuroo: i need help w my love life

Bokuto: OHOHOHOH

Bokuto: and who's the loverboy huh

Kuroo: ummm

Kuroo: kenma?

Bokuto: omg i kNEW it

Kuroo: bro 

Bokuto: no offense but ur like

Bokuto: so obv

Kuroo: am i that bad

Bokuto: yep

Bokuto: hate to break it to u but i dont think i can help

Bokuto: i'm dealing w my own love problems

Kuroo: oh

Kuroo: shit idk what to do now

Bokuto: ik who could help

Kuroo: omg who

Bokuto: daichi? the captain of karasuno

Kuroo: huh yeah why him

Bokuto: he's in a relationship right?

Kuroo: whAT HE IS??

Bokuto: YEAH BRO WITH SUGA RIGHT??

Kuroo: OMG I NEVER NOTICED

Kuroo: BuT NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT-

Bokuto: AHA IKR

Kuroo: lets make a gc he has the answers to my questions

Bokuto: dontreplaceme

Kuroo Tetsurou has added Bokuto Koutarou and Daichi Sawamura to Untitled

Kuroo Tetsurou changed Untiled's name to help us

Kuroo Tetsurou  changed their nickname to kuroh no

kuroh no: daICHIIIII

Bokuto Koutarou changed their nickname to Bokutoes

Bokutoes: daichi the best person in the whole world help us

kuroh no: and u told me not to replace u

kuroh no: offended

Bokutoes: no bb im sorry

Daichi Sawamura: wtf

Daichi Sawamura: what do you guys need i'm in training rn

Bokutoes: DAICHI

Bokutoes: MY SAVIOUR

Daichi Sawamura: i feel like this gc is going to give me headaches

Bokutoes: no bro plz help us

kuroh no: we're dealing w some love issues rn

kuroh no: we need help from the one and only daichi sawamura who is in a relationship

Daichi Sawamura: huh

Daichi Sawamura: ya'll i can't talk rn i need to go play

Daichi Sawamura: but rn suga is having a break i can ask him to help??

kuroh no: omg yes 

Bokutoes: hell yeah

Daichi Sawamura: alr

Bokutoes: thaNK You DAD

Daichi Sawamura: wHAT THE HELL 

Daichi Sawamura: IS THIS BOKUTO

Bokutoes: IS THIS SUGA

kuroh no: WAIT DONT FORGET ME

Daichi Sawamura changed their name to dadchi

dadchi: aaalright he's gonna kill me but honestly i'm fine with that ;)

kuroh no: damnnn suga i didn't know u were like this ;))

dadchi: ;)))

dadchi: so whatsup

kuroh no: i think i have a crush on someone and idk how to tell them

kuroh no: i literally wanna avoid them but at the same time i know that won't help me

kuroh no: help

Bokutoes: same here

dadchi: ohhh reallyyy ;)) whos the unfortunate person

Bokutoes: uM wow rude ok i didn't expect that from *you* suga >:(

dadchi: theres a lot of things u don't know about me ;)

kuroh no: oh ;))))

Bokutoes: wow suga ur like my new fav

kuroh no: uM WOW EXCUSE ME

Bokutoes: second to my bff

kuroh no: thanks babe

dadchi: are you sure yall aint dating

kuroh no: i like kenma- 

dadchi: oh rlly 

Bokutoes: and i like akaashi

dadchi: yeah actually ya'll aren't very subtle

dadchi: bokuto u basically stare at akaashi all day pretty sure he thinks ur weird

Bokutoes: UR SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING ME???

dadchi: well yeah i mean idk what u want me to do?

dadchi: how do u want me to help

kuroh no: idk how to act around himmm

dadchi: just act like u usually do

dadchi: give him small hints n stuff but not too big

kuroh no: i dont get it

kuroh no: wdymmm

Bokutoes: bruh 

Bokutoes: suga? u there?

kuroh no: SUGA

Bokutoes: SUGA???

kuroh no: KOUSHI SUGA??

Bokutoes: KOUSHI SUGAWARA?

kuroh no: it says he read our messages

Bokutoes: um im offended uh

dadchi: omg sorry guys

Bokutoes: bruh wtf were u doing??

kuroh no: u left us on seen u monster

dadchi: uh i was

dadchi: uh

dadchi: *um*

Bokutoes: oyaoya what did u do ;)

kuroh no: bet he was staring at daichi's thighs

dadchi: nO!!!

Bokutoes: he used three exclamation marks

kuroh no: thats mega gay

dadchi: alr i was staring at his thighs i cant help it :(

kuroh no: accurate

Bokutoes: so? explain?

dadchi: the love thing or me staring at his thighs

kuroh no: i dont wanna know what goes thru ur head when u stare at his thighs

dadchi: wow ok

dadchi: what i mean is

dadchi: act like you usually do with kenma, but drop small hints that you like him sometimes

dadchi: like for example do nice gestures like make him food n shit

dadchi: stuff like that

kuroh no: why is this so complicated

Bokutoes: bro ikr

dadchi: its not hard yall are just incompetent 

Bokutoes: OKAY EXCUSE ME 

kuroh no: OBJECTION.

dadchi: denied, sit back down.

kuroh no: fuck

Bokutoes: ha you suck

dadchi: shut the fuck up bokuhoe

Bokutoes: UM WOW OK SUGA I DIDNT KNOW U WERE THE DEVIL ALR

dadchi: *there's alot of things u dont know about me*

kuroh no: all of a sudden this doesn't seem like a great idea

dadchi: oh daichi is back

dadchi: cya

Bokutoes: thank fucking god

dadchi: i hate u too bokuhoe :)

dadchi: kuro's the better child

kuroh no: thanks mom ;D

dadchi: ;D

Bokutoes: UM I FEEL EXCLUDED

kuroh no: *shut up bokuhoe*

Bokutoes: *kuroh shit i cant get a fucking boyfriend*

kuroh no: *bokutoe fetish*

Bokutoes: I DON'T HAVE A TOES FETISH

kuroh no: explain ur name u weirdo

Bokutoes: FUCK YOu

kuroh no: anytime ;)

Bokutoes changed kuroh no 's nickname to shithead

shithead: TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME

shithead changed Bokutoes 's nickname to bok-u-suck

bok-u-suck: rude ok

bok-u-suck changed shithead 's nickname to kuroh he's single

kuroh he's single: DUDE UR SINGLE TOO

bok-u-suck: shut up

dadchi: um wtf

dadchi: wtf is wrong with you all

bok-u-suck: ask kuroh no he's single

kuroh he's single:

dadchi changed bok-u-suck and kuroh he's single 's nicknames to Bokutoes and Kuroh no

dadchi: please be quiet jesus christ

Bokutoes: yes dad

dadchi: look all you need to do is act normal in front of Kenma and Akaashi

dadchi: don't make up some fake personality that 1) is humiliating and 2) that they might fall in love with

dadchi: you don't want them falling in love with someone who isn't you

Bokutoes: wow wise words

Kuroh no: yeah thanks dad

dadchi: don't call me that you weirdos

Bokutoes: damn okay 

Kuroh no:

Kuroh no: ....*dad*

dadchi: you're grounded

Kuroh no: NO DAD PLZ

Bokutoes: hahahah

Bokutoes: wait is this jus a gc for us or

Bokutoes: coz i know some ppl who do be pining and they dont know what to do

dadchi: wtf is everyone dying or something

Kuroh no: basically

Kuroh no: every passing second is one step closer to death

dadchi: ...thank you for that insight-

Kuroh no: you're welcome

dadchi: sure ig i could help them

Bokutoes: omg what if

Bokutoes:  by the time we graduate all of them will be with their loved ones

dadchi: we're graduating in a few months this seems like a bit of a stretch...

Kuroh no: yeah and some of our crushes are 2nd years when we graduate they won't be w us

Kuroh no: whats the point we wont even be w them

Kuroh no: lets just give up and die now

Bokutoes: bro since when were u so negative

Kuroh no: kenma probably likes someone else idk

Kuroh no: wHo would like me anyway

dadchi: kuro don't think that smh

dadchi: have some good memories to graduate with

Bokutoes: yeah dude

Kuroh no: huh you're right

dadchi: so who are the people that need help?

Bokutoes added Oikawa Tooru, Shirabu Kenjirou, Yahaba Shigeru and Yaku Morisuke to help us

Bokutoes  renamed the groupchat to every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang

Oikawa Tooru: wow that actually sums up my life

dadchi: oh no

Bokutoes: oh yes

Chapter Text

[every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang]

5:15pm

Oikawa Tooru: wow that actually sums up my life

dadchi: oh no

Bokutoes: oh yes

Oikawa Tooru changed their name to Oikill me

Oikill me: perfect

dadchi: damn this gc is depressing wtf

Oikill me: you can't complain all of us are going to die alone except for you

Bokutoes: ^

Kuroh no: ^^

dadchi: you aren't going to die alone jesus christ

Shirabu Kenjirou: um why am I here?

Yahaba Shigeru: i think its coz we have love issues 

Yaku Morisuke : thanks for reminding me

Shirabu Kenjirou: ok yeah but why am i here

Oikill me: because you're hopelessly in love with semi

Yaku Morisuke: who tf is semi?

Okill me: hes a chill and nice dude

Shirabu Kenjirou: you are mistaken, semi is a bitch

Shirabu Kenjirou: i hate him so much

Oikill me changed Shirabu Kenjirou's nickname to saltybu

Yaku Morisuke: wow ive known Shirabu-kun for 5 seconds and thats alr so accurate

Kuroh no: yakuuuu

Yaku Morisuke: oh fuck no

Kuroh no: oh fuck yes

saltybu: oikawa i hope you realise that you s u c k

Oikill me: yes ive realised lmao

Bokutoes: dadchi is our mentor and saviour

dadchi: no im not please stop 

dadchi: im just not a coward

saltybu: yeah u guys suck just ask them out alr god

Yaku Morisuke: OK YOU HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK 

Yahaba Shigeru changed Moriske Yaku 's name to yakuwu

yakuwu: no

Yahaba Shigeru: yes

yakuwu changed Shigeru Yahaba 's name to yahaha no

yahaha no: wtf

saltybu: wtf do u mean oK yOu hAve nO rooM tO tAlk

Oikill me: bruh

Oikill me: semishira anyone?

yahaha no: yes

yakuwu: y e s

yakuwu: even tho idk what he looks like i 100% ship

Oikill me: semi is hot like me

saltybu: ok wow

dadchi: we've seen the way you look at Semi during Miyagi Prefectural Qualifiers

Kuroh no: HAHA DAICHI CALLING YOU OUT

saltybu: i feel aTTACKED.

dadchi: you were staring at him and then he put his middle finger up

Oikill me: HAHAHA

saltybu: HOW DO U KNOW ABOUT THIS

daichi: suga took pictures

Bokutoes: omg show us

yakuwu: hell yeah blackmail material 

yahaha no: yes

saltybu: daichi istg plz don't

Bokutoes: daichi yes

Kuroh no: daichi yes

dadchi: ...daichi yes

Oikill me: thiS Situation makes me see daichi and karasuno in a whole new light

dadchi:

yakuwu: omg thats semi??

yahaha no: wait that uniform is shiratorizawa

saltybu: yeah we're from shiratori

saltybu: and the only people i know here are daichi and oikawa so-

saltybu: what schools are you from

dadchi: ok lets introduce ourselves

dadchi: i'm daichi, captain of karasuno

Bokutoes: bokuto, captain and ace of fukurodani

Kuroh no:  kuroo, captain of nekoma

yakuwu: i'm yaku, libero of nekoma

yahaha no: yahaba, setter/pinch server of aoba johsai

Oikill me: oikawa, captain of aoba johsai

saltybu: shirabu, setter for shiratorizawa

yakuwu: wow powerhouse school huh

saltybu: yep

dadchi: but we beat you

Oikill me: shut up daichi

Bokutoes: looks like the captains are having a hard time lol

dadchi: yep seems like it

Kuroh no: speaking of captains

Kuroh no: how is karasuno so close like

Kuroh no: my teammates barely respect me

yakuwu: thats because you suck

Kuroh no: exhibit A

Oikill me: same how do you make them respect u i wanna know

Bokutoes: same

dadchi: uh

dadchi: well the captain cant do all the work the teammates need to be respectful

Oikill me: yeah *cough* yahaba *cough*

yahaha no: go to hospital jesus christ

saltybu: well everyone in shiratori respects ushijima but thats coz hes an inspiration

Oikill me: he's not he fucking sucks

Kuroh no: thats not what u said when u said that he's a good friend

yakuwu: HE DID?? WHEN??

dadchi: captains chat

Bokutoes: 

Oikawhore: wanna say thanks for being great friends, especially you ushi

Oikawhore: idk what i'd do without you

saltybu: aWWWW

Oikill me: NO N O N    O

yahaha no: lmaoo oikawa is ushi ur crush or-

Oikill me: NO DEFINITELY NOT EW

Bokutoes: who is it then ;)

Oikill me: shut up you alr know so

saltybu: yeah but i dont

Kuroh no: idk either ;)

yakuwu: who is it actually-

Oikill me: uh

dadchi: you can tell them when you're ready but if you can't tell them we can't all help you

dadchi: speaking of which we should get semishira together

saltybu:  i dont have a crush on that bitch

yakuwu: then who do you have a crush on

saltybu: no one

dadchi: cmon guys the goal is to get everyone with their crush before we graduate

dadchi: at this pace everyone is going to be depressed

Oikill me: not like we're depressed already or anything

Kuroh no: ^

dadchi: lets start with semishira coz it seems like everyone knows shirabu has a crush on him

dadchi: in this gc

yakuwu: hell yeah

saltybu: i alr said i dont have a crush on him

dadchi: lemme ask my team what they think

saltybu: what why-

yakuwu: coz everyone can tell u like him

yakuwu: ive never even seen u and i can tell u love himmm

Oikill me: owowowowo

Kuroh no: jesus christ no

Bokutoes: uwuwuuwuwuwuwuwu

Kuroh no: fuck

yahaha no: qwqwwqwqwqwqwqwq

dadchi: 

Karasue us™

dad™: hey does anyone think shirabu has a crush on semi

mom™: yep

boke: who?

the king: we versed them, they're from shiratorizawa

boke: yeah but who

the king: shirabu is the one with brown hair and was setting

the king: semi is the one with blonde hair dyed at the tips

boke: AH YEah i could tell the setter kept looking at semi but i thought it was for advice

rolling noya: ;)))

rolling noya: i ship

mom™: bruh its so obv they like eachother

tanakick me: yeAH I WAS SCREAMINGGG

mom™: tanaka stop screaming or you're grounded

saltybu: 

saltybu: karasuno sucks

dadchi: karasuno hates you too

yakuwu: karasue us™ omg what a nice gc name

yakuwu: @Kuroh no name our gc smth nice

Kuroh no: you barely speak in that gc coz ur head over heels for lev

yakuwu: HOW COULD YOU OUT ME LIKE THIS

yahaha no: lev huh ;))

yahaha no: isnt he that rlly tall dude 

Kuroh no: yeah but he doesn't know what to do half the time

Bokutoes: i feel so lonely im the only one in fukurodani

saltybu: its ok im the only one in shiratori

Bokutoes:  :')

saltybu: >:')

dadchi: ok

dadchi: lets make it that at the end of this month you would've at least confessed

Oikill me: idk why you're worried semi is rlly nice

saltybu: no hes FUCKING not

Oikill me: have u considered that he's mean to u coz ur mean to him

saltybu:

saltybu: shut up

Oikill me: if u want i can ask him if he likes someone

saltybu:

yahaha no: whats this? oikawa being nice?

Oikill me: i-

Oikill me: r u  d e

Oikill me:

saltybu: i-

saltybu: it's probably not me-

saltybu: omg im gonna be lonely forever

dadchi: god stop being so negative

saltybu: dude think about it theres literally no way he likes me

saltybu: im so rude to him wtf

Bokutoes: we'll get there eventually

Chapter Text

[every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang]

7:30am

saltybu: GUYS GUYSGUYSGUYS

Oikill me: what the fuck do u want

saltybu: I jUST ALMOST CONFESSED

dadchi: what thats good

saltybu: nO ITS FUCKING NOT

Kuroh no: Why are you talking so early in the morning im tRYING to sleep

Bokutoes: dude its 7:30 get your ass up

Kuroh no: id rather not

saltybu: semi can nEVER know i like him

saltybu: ever

yakuwu: ok but dude

yakuwu: think of this

yahaha no: 

Kuroh no:

Bokutoes:

Oikill me:

yakuwu: semi likes you back

saltybu: FUCKING BULL SHIT

yakuwu: WHAT PART OF IT WAS BULLSHIT

saltybu: THE WHOLE THING

saltybu: THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY HE LIKES ME BACK

dadchi: holy fucking shit you're hopeless

Kuroh no: ^

Bokutoes: dude

Bokutoes: i have an amazing idea

Kuroh no: when has any of your ideas been amazing

Bokutoes: brO

Bokutoes: out of everyone i thought YOU'D have my back

Kuroh no: well

Bokutoes:  b e t r a y a l

yahaha no: just tell us what the idea is

Bokutoes: group chat. our crushes. us. together.

yakuwu: no

yahaha no: haha no

Kuroh no: no comment

dadchi: cannot believe i'm saying this but

dadchi: that's not a bad idea

Kuroh no: IS IT POSSIBLE TO STOP BEING YOUR SON

dadchi: since when were you my son?

Kuroh no:  d a d

dadchi: look it's a good opportunity to get to know your crushes and see what tactic works best

yakuwu: you make this sound like we're infiltrating a building or some shit

Oikill me: oop

Kuroh no: oiks has only said 2 things in this chat are u ok

Oikill me: I'm great thanks for asking.

Bokutoes: *gasp* proper punctuation

yahaha no: who are u and what have you done to my annoying captain

yakuwu: my annoying captain huh ;)

yahaha no: no

dadchi: okay i created the group chat

yakuwu: god no

Daichi Sawamura has added Sugawara Koushi, Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, Semi Eita and 9 others into Untitled

Daichi Sawamura  changed their name to dadchi

dadchi  named the group chat headache ™

Iwaizumi Hajime: what the fuck is this

dadchi has recovered 6 nicknames from another group chat

yakuwu: what a strong start to the day

yahaha no: i swear im gonna die during class due to my headache™

Iwaizumi Hajime: who's this?

yahaha no: WOW RUDE OK

yahaha no: iTS me yahaba 

yakuwu: its yaku

Oikill me: coUghs

Iwaizumi Hajime: ok so that's oikawa

Kuroh no: wow im impressed that he knows its oiks via his nickname

Oikill me: formal much

Kuroh no: wHAT PART OF THAT WAS FOrMAL

Oikill me: you're formal

Kuroh no: dude are u ok

Oikill me:  when am i ever ok is the question

Kuroh no: hello 911?

Kuroh no: yes we need some psychological assistance

yakuwu: bitch we're in japan

Oikill me changed Iwaizumi Hajime's name to iwa-fan

iwa-fan: i-

Kenma Kozume: oh no

Akaashi Keiji: god

Bokutoes: hEYHEYHEY

Sugawara Koushi: HELLO SON

Bokutoes: MOM

Kuroh no: DAICHI DISOWNED ME

dadchi: I DID NOT DISOWN YOU YOU DISOWNED YOURSELF

Kuroh no: NO I FUCKING DIDN'T

Kuroh no: FUCK YOU DAD

dadchi: YOU'RE GROUNDED

Kuroh no: DAD NO IM SORRY

Bokutoes: HAHA SUCK DICK

Kuroh no: FUCK YOU

Sugawara Koushi: daichi, we need to talk

Bokutoes: shit mom and dad gonna get a divorce

Kuroh no: im going w mom

Kuroh no changed Sugawara Koushi's name to Sugamama

Kuroh no changed Kozume Kenma's name to Kozoom

Kozoom: god no

Bokutoes changed Akaashi Keiji's name to Akeishit

Akeishit: im not even going to object at this point

Semi Eita: um what the fuck

saltybu: where the fuck are u

Semi Eita: in my dorm...??

Kuroh no: OMG

Bokutoes: ARE U GONNA DO IT

saltybu: NO SHUT UP I ALR TOLD U IM NOT 

saltybu: NEVER

Semi Eita: um...

saltybu changed Semi Eita's name to Semight just die

Semight just die: alright then

Semight just die: @saltybu what do you need

saltybu: i need you to die

Semight just die: bitch

Akeishit: this is giving me a fucking headache.

Kozoom: have you read the title of the gc

Akeishit: ah

Sugamama: shut up you have class soon

Semight just die: akasdljs

Lev Haiba: HELLO

Kuroh no: LEV GET OFF YOUR PHONE AND GO TO CLASS RIGHT NOW

Lev Haiba: OK IMSORRY

yakuwu: wow

yakuwu changed Lev Haiba's name to Reifu

Kyoutani Kentarou:

Kyoutani Kentarou left headache™

yahaha no: nO babe come back

a message was deleted from the group chat

yahaha no added Kyoutani Kentarou to headache™

yahaha no  changed Kyoutani Kentarou's name to Mad dog

Mad dog: i hate everyone here

iwa-fan:

Mad dog: i hate everyone here except for iwaizumi-san

Oikill me: wow ok

Sugamama: guys class starts soon get off your fucking phones before i snipe you

yakuwu: i never wanna see scary suga ever again

Sugamama: THEN GET OFF YOUR PHONE.

yakuwu: YES SIR

3:18pm

Oikill me: omg school is over

yakuwu: weekends hello i love you

yahaha no: yknow you love someone else

yakuwu: nO SHUT UP.

Kuroh no: ;)))

dadchi: ;)

dadchi: shirabu, what do you have to say to that

saltybu: i do not have a fucking crush

dadchi: oh really

dadchi: 

saltybu: GUYS GUYSGUYSGUYS

Oikill me: what the fuck do u want

saltybu: I jUST ALMOST CONFESSED

saltybu: WOW THANKS

Kuroh no: CMON DUDE ITS NOT HARD

saltybu: I DONT SEE U ASKING OUT UR CRUSH HUH

Kuroh no: NO SEE MY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT

saltybu: HOW IS IT DIFFERENT IN ANYWAY

Semight just die: woww shirabitch is actually capable of feelings things

Kozoom: kuro u have a crush??

Kuroh no: um

Kuroh no: yeah

Semight just die: whoever your crush is is unfortunate shirabu

saltybu: fuck you

Semight just die: thank you for providing an example

Sugamama: hey since its the weekend tmr do you wanna meet up or smth

Oikill me: i have volleyball

iwa-fan: no you don't have fun for once jesus christ

Oikill me: I do have fun!!

Oikill me: 

Kuroh no: you do have fun huh ;))

Oikill me: BITCH I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT

Bokutoes: huh who u doing it with oiks ;)

Oikill me: nO ONE-

iwa-fan: ...

Oikill me: whatever 

Sugamama: so is that a yes or a no-

dadchi: they have no choice

Bokutoes: ha im in

Akeishit: Yeah I guess I'm in as well

Kozoom: sure...

Sugamama: ok if u wanna hang out tmr say 'f'

Oikill me: f

Kuroh no: f

Bokutoes: f

Akeishit: f

Semight just die: ig f

saltybu: fine, f

Mad dog: 

Mad dog: f

yahaha no: f

yakuwu: f

Reifu: f

dadchi: f

iwa-fan: f

Kozoom: f

Kozoom: f in chat for my headache starting tomorrow

Akeishit: As if it hasn't started already

Kozoom: fair point

Chapter Text

headache ™

10:20am

Sugamama

Alright so is everyone ready?

We're meeting up at 11 at the park

Oikill me

we know mom

saltybu

semi hurry the fuck up im waiting for u

Semight just die

wow youre waiting for me what an achievement

satori is sleeping on the floor what the fuck is wrong with him

whatafuckingloser.jpeg

saltybu

why didnt you tell me satori was your roommate?

Semight just die

why do you care

saltybu

i don't i just feel bad for you

Semight just die

satori's a good dude

is what i tell myself

Oikill me

shirabu stop sleeping on the crush and just confess

Semight just die

what

saltybu

yeah what?

Oikill me

you're hopeless

saltybu

are you talking to yourself

Oikill me

WOW OK RUDE

iwa-fan

im at the park

with oikawa

Sugamama

Where are you

I'm next to the big tree with dadchi

I mean daichi

dadchi

I hate you

Sugamama

No you don't

dadchi

True

Kuroh no

hey siri, how do you wake up a cat THAT WON'T FUCKING GET UP

KENMA

Bokutoes

cats amirite

Kuroh no

idiots amirite

Bokutoes

bby you don't mean that

Kuroh no

ofc i dont bb i love you

Bokutoes

ily honey

Kuroh no

ily more

Bokutoes

idiot

Kuroh no

bitch

Bokutoes

BASTARD

Kuroh no

OWL FUCKER

Akeishit

this relationship makes me lose braincells

Kozoom

^

iwa-fan

ive never related to akaashi and kenma as much as this before

Oikill me

if dadchi daichi is your dad and suga is your mom, that makes bokuto your brother

meaning this relationship is incest

Kuroh no

Bokutoes

Kuroh no

don't listen to them babe

Bokutoes

ill try not to babe

Oikill me

jfc

Sugamama

Lmao ya'll have separate crushes but here you are

Just ask eachother out god

Kozoom

kuroo youve never told me about this crush

who is it

Kuroh no

WOW WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME IT'S 10:30 IMA GO NOW BYE

Kozoom

...

bokuto ur his best friend do you know

Bokutoes

HAHA YEP IM GOING TOO BYE 

NOTHING

HE HAS NO SUCH CRUSH

Kuroh no

SHUT THE FUCK UP BABE :)

Bokutoes

FUCK YOU :)

Kuroh no

name the time and place

Bokutoes

ohohohoho ;)

Kuroh no

;)

Kozoom

im so confused are they dating or not

Sugamama

They aren't dating

I think-

Honestly I have no idea anymore

dadchi

Jesus christ Bokuto, Kuro

This is not how you cope with a crush

Kuroh no

unrequited love*

Bokutoes

*sniff*

saltybu

and i thought i had it bad

Semight just die

so you do have a crush

saltybu

nO I DON'T SHUT UP 

D I E

Semight just die

cute

saltybu

what-

yakuwu

sup biTCHES

oh god

BYE BITCHES

yahaha no

same

Reifu

No yaku-san come back :(

yakuwu

fuck

yahaha no

lev

yakuwu

n o

Reifu

what-

Sugamama

iTS NOTHING LEV JUST IGNORE WHAT THEY SAID

Reifu

Okay--

Mad dog

i just want to delete myself

every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang

10:35am

dadchi

OH MY GOD

YOU'RE ALL A MESS

@yakuwu

Just confess to Lev already I'm losing my mind

@saltybu Stop telling semi to kill himself goddamn.

@Kuroh no 

@Bokutoes

Stop acting like you're dating in front of your crushes it's helping no one

saltybu

and its fucking weird

Kuroh no

at least im not in denial

*coughs*

saltybu

coronavirus

get tested

stay home

oh hey this is a good idea not to go to the park and spend my whole day with semi

Bokutoes

because you love him~~

saltybu

because i hate him

dadchi

You don't hate him Shirabu

Why can't you just accept that you like him

saltybu

because i don't

and thats final

dadchi

What did he even do to you

saltybu

hes annoying

and he bosses me around just because hes my senpai

telling me what he thinks about my setting

what does *he* know

dadchi

Bokutoes

Kuroh no

god you literally have no idea

dadchi

Lmao, you do know that Semi bosses you around because he wants you to be a good setter

And even though you overtook his position as the official setter, he's been around longer than you

He knows what types of sets Ushijima likes, and the ones you're setting to him isn't what he prefers

But of course, Ushijima doesn't complain because he's still able to spike it

He just wants the best for you

If he can't do the setting he wants to at least give some knowledge

Kuroh no

aww thats so sweet

saltybu

and how would you know all this

dadchi

I talk to semi alot

saltybu

what- why- how-

dadchi

After we won a spot at nationals, Suga approached Semi and they started talking

And then Suga introduced me to Semi

And then Ushijima joined

And we added Oikawa as well

saltybu

oikawA???

dadchi

Yeah he hated being in the same group chat as Ushiwaka at first, but now they're good friends

Kuroh no

bokuto and i are also in the gc!!!

dadchi

Yep

Just the captains and two setters excluding Oikawa

These group chat names get worse and worse

yakuwu

true

dadchi

My point is,,,I'm 99.9% sure Semi likes you back

Just confess to him, get it over and done with

saltybu

i'll think about it,,i guess

dadchi

Just try

Kuroh no

we believe in u!!!

saltybu

shut up drowned cat with the weird haircut

Kuroh no

you're not the one to talk

headache ™

Oikill me added Ushijima Wakatoshi and Tendou Satori

iwa-fan

what-

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Thank you Tooru

Oikill me

shut up toshi-chan :)

Tendou Satori

WOW NOT EVEN A GREETING FOR ME

Oikill me

fuck you sat-on-me

Tendou Satori

WOW OK

Oikill me changed Tendou Satori's name to sat-on-me

Oikill me changed Ushijima Wakatoshi's nickname to Ushiwhack me

Ushiwack me

Explain my nickname??

Oikill me

with those biceps honestly i wouldnt mind if you whacked me

Kuroh no

I agree

Bokutoes

^

Ushiwack me

Wow, I feel honoured

Oikill me

you should you fucking weirdo

Ushiwack me

Elaborate as to why I'm the weirdo and not you , Tooru?

Oikill me

i hate you

sat-on-me

no you don't

Oikill me

wow dont expose me

Semight just die

ayyyy hey toshi

Ushiwack me

Hello Eita

:D

Semight just die

HE USED AN EMOJI

OIKAWA PAY UP

Oikill me

gODDAMn

dadchi

Lmao you guys bet on whether he uses emojis or not??

Semight just die

we bet on everything

iwa-fan

i didn't know this many people tolerated oikawa

Ushiwack me

Actually, Tooru isn't as bad as everyone says he is

Everyone would've praised him 

If he went to Shiratorizawa

sat-on-me

if he went to Shiratorizawa 

Kuroh no

if he went to shiratorizawa 

Bokutoes

omg wow ya'll sent that all at the same time

im impressed

Oikill me

yall know why i didnt so shut up

iwa-fan

why didnt u

i mean you couldve gotten in

Oikill me

noneofyourbusiness

oh hey eita-chan is that you

Semight just die

YOOOO

IM COMING BITCH

GIVE ME MY MONEY

Oikill me

SHIT YOU RUN FAST

BYE

dadchi

Young love

Oh wait what I don't ship them-

Sugamama

Bad

dadchi

;)

Bokutoes

DAD! MOM! NOT HERE PLZ

I HAVE INNOCENCE

dadchi

Cut the crap you're dirty minded as hell

Kuroh no

^

Bokutoes

wow exposing me once again

I trusted you

Kuroh no

life is unpredictable ;)

saltybu

semi just ran off yelling im not even bothered to read up

yakuwu

i have arrived with yahaba

yahaha no

i see yall

under the tree with the crow's nest on it?

dadchi

yep

Reifu

im here with kenma!!

Bokutoes

same im here with akaashIIII

Akeishit

Sadly

Bokutoes

Akaasheiii :((

Mad dog

fuck you all im not going

yahaha no

:(

please

Mad dog

...

fine ill go im leaving rn

Sugamama

Young love

Chapter Text

headache  ™

11:30

dadchi

It's barely been 30 minutes and we can't find Shirabu

Sugamama

Goddammit Shirabu @saltybu

Where are you

Ushiwack me

If you want, I can go and search for him with Oikawa?

iwa-fan

why oikawa

Ushiwack me

I thought you disliked Oikawa

Oikill me

（iДi）

iwa-fan

i thought you disliked Oikawa

Ushiwack me

I do not despise Tooru, I do wish he would have attended Shiratorizawa instead of Seijoh, but however he does have his reasons

Oikill me

thank you toshi-chan~ (´・ω・｀)

iwa-fan

no comment

Semight just die

ill just spam his dms

sat-on-me

semisemi you wouldn't dare

Semight just die

i do dare lmao

sat-on-me

toshi lets plan his funeral!

Ushiwack me

I don't think he will pass away from texting Shirabu, Satori

sat-on-me

so ill just plan his funeral alone then

yahaha no

uh

where did you guys go-

yakuwu

youre a fucking idiot

we stopped coz we cant find shirabu

yahaha no

uhh

Mad dog

we're lost

i shouldnt have followed yahabitch

yahaha no

eXCUSE ME???

dadchi

How did you not realise we weren't there anymore?

Kuroh no

they were too invested in their own worldddd 

Bokutoes

bro

Kuroh no

bro

Bokutoes

A WHOLE NEW WORLD

Kuroh no

A NEW FANTASTIC POINT OF VIEW

Bokutoes

nO ONE TO TELL US NO

dadchi

No

And you're grounded

Sugamama

HAHA GET R E K T 

Bokutoes

dad,,,

i hate you

dadchi

same here son

Bokutoes

d a d

Kuroh no

its ok you can be disowned with me

dadchi

It's alright, I have 02880230 other children, losing 2 won't be bad

Sugamama

Oh god

Shirabu Kenjirou

Semi 

yo

dude

hello

yes

dude

hello

bro

shirabitch

shirabu

kenjirou

kenji

Shirabu

what the fuck do you want

and don't call me kenji

Semi

where did you go, kenji

Shirabu

fuck you

i went to clear my head a bit

Semi

are you kidding me

Shirabu

im fine,, just tell me where you are

Semi

no,,tell me where you are

i have a feeling you're not ok

Shirabu

what the fuck do you mean

Semi

are you hurt or smth

Shirabu

no

Semi

you're hurt aren't you

Shirabu

ok but its not bad

i just kind of

fell down a ditch??

Semi

wtf how did you manage to do that

WE'RE IN A PARK

Shirabu

FUCK YOU

Semi

WHY IS THAT YOUR RESPONSE TO EVERYTHING

Shirabu

JUST BECAUSE

Semi

THATS NOT A VALID ANSWER

Shirabu

BECAUSE

ITS MY WAY OF

fuck

Semi

what??

what were you gonna say

Shirabu

ok um

look

i have this crush

Semi

oH SO YOU D O HAVE A CRUSH

what an unfortunate soul

Shirabu

ok but i dont know how to ask him out and confess n shit

Semi

woah its a boy

just ask him out

Shirabu

its not that easy

i don't think he likes me back

Semi

ofc he likes you back

ur a brat but ur loveable

Shirabu

what happened to my crush being an unfortunate soul

Semi

unfortunate soul

happy now

Shirabu

hey

do you have a crush

Semi

uh

yeah

i guess

Shirabu

unfortunate soul

Semi

rude

Shirabu

uh

well

if you go back to where we met up and take a right instead of left, i should be there

just sitting in a ditch with a sprained ankle

Semi

YOU SPRAINED YOUR ANKLE??

JESUS CHRIST

Shirabu

ugh

every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang

saltybu

semi has a crush

dadchi

WHAT THE FUCK WHERE ARE YOU

yakuwu

DUDE HAVE YOU NOT SEEN OUR MESSAGES FROM HEADACHE™

saltybu

i muted it lol

yahaha no

smart

blocking people out of your life

saltybu

well uh dont worry semi went to get me

dadchi

Oh

Explains why he isn't with us anymore

Anyway

Semi went to get you huh ;)

And Semi has a crush

Are the stars lining up?

yakuwu

what stars

dadchi

Wow okay

I thought you'd support them

saltybu

pretty sure semi is straight

never seen him look at a guy like he loves them

dadchi

You have no idea

saltybu

wha

semi is here bye

what have we created

Daichi's Thighs

I'm losing my mind

Oikawa's Nothing

wha are you ok

Ushiwaka's Di-

Tooru being aware of the feelings of his peers?

A rare sight

Oikawa's Nothing

wow rUDE

toshi-chan :(((

Daichi's Thighs

Semi likes Shirabu right

Kuroo's Abs

mhm

Bokuto's Biceps

yep

Daichi's Thighs

and we know

Kuroo's Abs

YEP

Bokuto's Biceps

mhm

but lets let them do their thing yknow

Daichi's Thighs

Yeah but the fact that i cAN'T TELL THEM hurts me

Suga's Personality

They're dense as fuck

Semi's Face

yo im coming back with kenji rn

he sprained his ankle

Suga's Personality

Don't read up :)

Also Kenji huh ;)

Kenjirou = Kenji

Daichi's Thighs

Aww that's cute

First name basis already huh

Ushiwaka's Di-

I approve

Semi's Face

he hates me

Ushiwaka's Di-

I can't believe I'm about to say this

But you suck

Kuroo's Abs

shirabu's dic-

Daichi's Thighs

NO ONE ASKED YOU

Chapter Text

headache ™

2:56pm

Sugamama

did everyone get home safe

Bokutoes

yes mom

Oikill me

yes mother

Ushiwack me

Yes person who didn't actually give birth to me but somehow is a better parental figure than my actual parents

dadchi

I-

Yikes

saltybu

all this parental stuff gives me headaches

Semight just die

you give me a bigger headache

saltybu

die

Semight just die

no :)

dadchi

Shirabu,,no.

Oikill me

i've said this like 69 times alr

but

you're

hopeless

saltybu

yeah i'm hopeless

Half dead inside

O

P

E

L

E

S

S

Semight just die

we alr know that

you act like you get crushed every day

saltybu

actually,,

Sugamama

I'm

Going to rip my hair off

dadchi

Don't do that please

Bokutoes

who would want to buy a j-drama when theres one right here

full of ups and downs

b e t r a y a l

im looking at u kuroo

Kuroh no

are u stalking me

Bokutoes

what no-

Reifu

kuroo has a stalker??

yakuwu

lev, no

Kuroh no

yeah i do, bokuhoe is 

STALKING ME

Reifu

WHAT

Sugamama

NO HE ISN'T DON'T LISTEN TO KURO

Reifu

im

so confused

yakuwu

lev

he's

not

being

stalked

.

Reifu

but he said he was

Kuroh no

you should know by now that everything i say is a lie

Reifu

so you saying i don't know what to do with my arms is a lie?

Kuroh no

there are some exceptions

Kozoom

just dont listen to kuroo

ive been doing that ever since we met

Kuroh no

but playing games at 2am when you should  be sleeping is a problem >:(

Kozoom

whatever

Semight just die

he's right

playing games at 2am isnt good

saltybu

you stayed up till 2am on your laptop

and i couldn't fUCKING sleep

Semight just die

it was a movie tendou told me to watch

we were watching it tOGeTher

sat-on-me

semisemi ended in tears

Semight just die

IT WAS FUCKING EMOTIONAL OKAY

saltybu

lmao you were crying??

Semight just die

shut up

yahaha no

wait...

you guys have shared a room before?

saltybu

well,,,

Semight just die

whats the big deal?

we share rooms all the time

yahaha no

yeah but

what impact does that have on shirabu huh ;)

saltybu

NO

SHUT UP

Mad dog

dont tell him to shut up

god this chat is so bad

saltybu

then leave

yahaha no

no don't leave me

yakuwu

its dont leave us

stop being in gay panic

yahaha no

im not in gay panic!!!

yakuwu

thats three exclamation marks

Bokutoes

i declare you guilty gay

Akeishit

hm?

whats going on

Kozoom

welcome to yahaba's gay panic

and semishira cant sort out their shit

Akeishit

huh?

Kozoom

oh kuroo told me about

shirabu's

gay

crush

saltybu

NO

Semight just die

how hard is it to confess

saltybu

I DONT SEE YOU CONFESSING TO  YOUR CRUSH

Semight just die

because i alr know its 100% unrequited

its been like that since last year and im fine with it

i guess

saltybu

crush since last year?

god

are you afraid of rejection

Semight just die

i alr know hes fine with someone else

so

saltybu

its a he??

Semight just die

yeah im bi

i thought i told you that

saltybu

no??

Ushiwack me

You did tell us

sat-on-me

he couldn't hear you coz he was too busy being salty

dadchi

Wow you and Tsukishima can be best friends

Sugamama

Daichi! Don't say that about our child

dadchi

Can Tsukishima be considered a child

He hates everyone and everything

Sugamama

True

He's that angsty teenager

dadchi

We're all angsty teenagers

Sugamama

Yep

saltybu

ok geez sorry i didnt know you were bi

god

Mad dog

you

are

an

idiot

:)

saltybu

D I E

what have we created

3:12

Semi's Face

honestly

just let me perish

i just wanna delete myself

Ushiwaka's Di-

Don't say that

Oikawa's Nothing

yeah i saw what happened in the chat

dude i think

cmon he probably likes you back

Semi's Face

srsly

the only things he says to me are 'die' and 'fuck you'

Daichi's Thighs

Lmao accurate

Suga's Personality

What I think you should do is

Just confess

What if he actually likes you back and is too scared to confess back?

And then you graduate and he moves on

And he find someone else to be with

Semi's Face

um

im actually counting on that

minus the requited love part

Daichi's Thighs

Just think about it

Ushiwaka's Di-

Satori and I are going out to drink

Maybe you would like to come?

Oikawa's Nothing

wow toshi-chan i never thought of you as the drinking type

Ushiwaka's Di-

I'm not, Satori just wanted me to come with him

Semi's Face

yeah ig it would be a good way to get my mind off things

Kuroo's Abs

don't get drunk

Bokuto's Biceps

no,,

get drunk

and confess to shirabu while drunk

and this j-drama can finally end

Semi's Face

yeah not happening

Ushiwaka's Di-

Meet us outside the main entrance

Semi's Face

coming

Oikawa's Nothing

if he confessed to shirabu while drunk

i would

cry 

happliy

Daichi's Thighs

^

Suga's Personality

^^

Kuroo's Abs

please

yes

i would die happy

alone

because kenma values games over me

Bokuto's Biceps

its ok bb im here

Daichi's Thighs

JUST STOP

NO

Kuroo's Abs

bb

its

cold outside

Bokuto's Biceps

its ok bb ill get my coat

Suga's Personality

Who's bottom

Daichi's Thighs

SUGA DON'T ENCOURAGE THEM

Shirabu Kenjirou

6:57pm

Semi

heyyyyuyuy 

Shirabu

wtf

Semi

havr ii ever tlod yu how deprssed i am>

Shirabu

um are you ok??

semi-san are you drunk?

Semi

noooop

wy woudl i be durnk?

Shirabu

um

misspelled words?

talking about your feelings??

Semi

omf speaknh of feelingsa

i hav liek the biggst fukcing cruhs

on thus dude

Shirabu

oh

who?

Semi

his naem is shirabu

liekfuck

Shirabu

what??

Semi

his hairctu is redicuousl tho

but like

whne he smils its so cute

and hat one tiem we sgared a room

it smelld like him]

and idk

probaly what hevan is liek

but ik he would nevr like me back

so

i hope he finds someon that loves him like i do

Shirabu

semi-san....

where are you

Semi

imsomwhre

in a bat oresome shir

Shirabu

in a bat??

Semi

a barrrr

stupid

ha

remids me that kenji always tels me to die

like

i would die[' for u

but

i wwould never telll him tahr

Shirabu

semi-san

is there anyone with you right now?

Semi

yeahthis dudde with red spiky hair

and his buff dude

woahhh his muscles are huge

Shirabu

oh god

alright

hey

do you really like shirabu?

Semi

oofc

i want him to be mi ne

but

never gong to hapen

but it is what it iss

shirabu will be happy with somne else

Shirabu

semi-san

you can call me kenji

i don't mind

Semi

okai

wait what

Shirabu

i love you too semi san ;)

Semi

juat call me eita

BHAHAHAH

OMG

Shirabu

what

Semi

hEYY SHIRABU ITS ME TENDOU

I STOLE SEMISEMI'S PHONE

I DON'T EVEN WANNA READ UP 

dw about him im bringing him back to the dorms

want me to drop him off at your place ;)

Shirabu

fuck

you

and sure

Semi

wow shirabu

you rlly need to expand your vocab 

'fuck you' and 'die' aren't very positive words

Shirabu

fuck

you

:)

Semi

you're welcome shirabu~~

cant wait for yall to be official

Shirabu

god

die.

Chapter Text

headache™

.

8:20am

sat-on-me

sooo~

@saltybu @Semight just die

how was last night ;)

saltybu

oh my god fuck you

Ushiwack me

Yes, do spill the details

Semi was quite drunk last night

Oikill me

SPILL THE TEA SIS

Semight just die

shut up toshi

and uh,,,

yeah we're official

Kuroh no

OMG

DID YOU GET DRUNK AND CONFESS

Bokutoes

PLZ SAY THAT HAPPENED

Semight just die

uhhhh

 m a y b e 

Oikill me

HOLY SHIT

I CAN DIE A PEACEFUL DEATH

iwa-fan

please do so asap

Okill me

wow rude

ig ill die alone lmao

Ushiwack me

Do not die Oikawa for I will have no one to tell to go to Shiratorizawa

No tea to spill to

Oikill me

wow your vocab is growing

SO

SEMISHIRA

WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT SPILL THE DETAILS

Kozoom

came on just to drink the steaming hot tea

Akeishit

Same

Semight just die

you wanna spill or me

saltybu

me,,because you won't tell it right

Semight just die

wow way to treat your boyfriend huh

sat-on-me

semisemi has been away from our dorm this whole night~

so semi probably stayed at shiraboo's place~~

how did it go

saltybu

ummm

tendou threw eita at my door for one

Semight just die

WHAT

is that why my arm hurts so much

sat-on-me

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ROMANTIC AND CATCH HIM

saltybu

THE DOOR WASN'T EVEN OPEN YET

Semight just die

SATORI I WILL END YOU

sat-on-me

cant wait~~

Sugamama

Shut up and continue

saltybu

right so i picked up eita from the ground

i think he passed out tho 

also he's heavy asf

Sugamama

Muscle mass?

Dadchi

Probably

saltybu

i forced water down his throat

uh i just put him in bed

the end

Sugamama

So,,,

You slept together

saltybu

we didn't do it-

yeah we just slept together

Oikill me

eita-chan you can stop being depressed now

Semight just die

yeah i could say the same to you

Oikill me

you have your crush as your boyfriend

Semight just die

at this point i think toshi is a better match for you

Oikill me

ew no

Ushiwack me

Please no

And you already know I like someone else

Who goes to Shiratorizawa

Oikill me

shut up yOu already know why i went to seijohh :(((

Semight just die

;))))

Dadchi

Actually,,I'm really curious as to why Oikawa went to Seijoh

Yakuwu

same

you keep hinting theres a reason but you never tell us

Yahaha no

^

Kozoom

*sips tea*

Akeishit

...

Sugamama

Uhhh

Oikawa you don't have to tell them

But can I tell Daichi?

Oikill me

wait lemme

Oikill me kicked iwa-fan from headache™

saltybu

wha-

Mad dog

can you kick me too

Yahaha no

no

dont kick him

Mad dog

why do you like to torture me

yakuwu

kinky

Reifu

what does kinky mean

Sugamama

LEV NO

Kuroh no

kinky means

Sugamama

KUROO.

If you tell him what it means I will break your kneecaps :)

Kuroh no

yessir

Reifu

so what does it mean...

Bokutoes

it means nice

Reifu

ah ok

yakuwu

i have a feeling this is going to go badly

Oikill me

sorry i went to get milk bread

anyway the reason i went to seijoh was because iwa-chan was going to seijoh

and i wanted to be with iwa-chan

because

uh

Sugamama

He has a crush on Iwaizumi

Dadchi

Wow who knew

Reifu

i didnt!

thats cute :D

yahaha no

bruhhh

when you serve iwaizumi looks at you 

like

rlly

its gross

Oikill me

he doesn't like my serves...??

yahaha no

no its like

he likes it

Oikill me

oHHH

Its like when Suga stares at Daichi's thighs

Dadchi

What-

Sugamama

WHAT I DON'T DO THAT HAHA

Dadchi

When we get home 

I'm checking your computer

Sugamama

WAIT I-

Oikill me

he has a folder named Daichi's thighs

Sugamama

UM NO I DON'T

Dadchi

I'm not mad about it ;)

Sugamama

God

Oikill me

anyway

theres no way iwa-chan looks at me like that alright?

yahaha no

whatever you say

Oikill me added Iwaizumi Hajime to headache™. 
This user will be unable to see previous messages.

Oikill me changed Iwaizumi Hajime's nickname to iwa-fan

iwa-fan

ok wow

explain

Oikill me

no reason

iwa-fan

...

first years do be riding high

Levoma

heyy

can someone help me with my homework

Tsukki-she-ma

don't ask hinata or kageyama, 100% fail guarentee

Shrimp

hey don't say that! I have some brain

Milk

no you don't, and neither do i

Shirmp

bakeyama >:(((

Milk

:)

Yams is Gucci

I can help you :D

send a pic?

Levoma

rlly?

thanks :D

homework.jpeg

you're so kinky :)

Yams is Gucci

iM WHAT-

Tsukki-she-ma

I-

OH MY GOD

Levoma

what

Milk

i CANT BREATHE

Shrimp

HAH

WAIT KAGEYAMA IM COMING TO SAVE YOU

Levoma

...??

Chapter Text

every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang

.

12:26am

Dadchi

So,

I was thinking we should help Oikawa next

Dadchi added Semi Eita

Dadchi  changed Semi Eita's nickname to Semight just die

Sugamama

Ooh good idea

Every time a couple get's together we add the other?

Semight just die

oh hello

helping oikawa? please

he's dense as ever

worse than kenji

saltybu

hey you were dense too

Semight just die

not as dense as you

saltybu

wanna bet

yakuwu

some things never change

yahaha no

plz help oiks i swear he's not capable of anything

Oikill me

wow ok rude

you and mad dog?

yahaha no

ok but i had the guts to slam him against a wall

i dont see you doing that

Oikill me

because iwa-chan wouldve killed me!

yahaha no

kyoutani was capable of killing me

bUt he didnt

Oikill me

i dont even know why he likes you

yahaha no

wait what

Kuroh no

HEY YKNOW WHAT I JUST THOUGHT OF

see oiks u dont know if iwa likes u back right

Oikill me

hes straight

Bokutoes

ah,

a typical accusation

Semight just die

stop assuming sexuality

Oikill me

ha 

remember that one time semi was having a gay panic

kept saying shirabu was straight

Semight just die

that was my tragic past

Oikill me

THAT WAS 2 DAYS AGO

Kuroh no

well we can always just ask him in a game of truth or dare

Bokutoes

can we vc? i want to see iwaizumi's reaction

yakuwu

evil

Semight just die

@saltybu come to my dorm

saltybu

are you kidding me

fine

Semight just die

its only one level up

saltybu

but i have to get c h a n g e d

Semight just die

who said you need to get changed ;)

saltybu

d i e

Dadchi

Good idea

Also a good opportunity to obtain blackmail on peers

Sugamama

Oh god

yakuwu

aight im in

yahaha no

ig im in too

headache ™

.

12:53am

Bokutoes

HEYHEYHEY

LET'S PLAY TOD

Kuroh no

hell yeah

vc as well

iwa-fan

sure ig

Akeishit

Ah I guess we could?

Kozoom

im playing acnh

Akeishit

Please Kozume, I don't want to be stuck with a bunch of psychos

Not including Iwaizumi

Kozoom

fine ig

Dadchi

By the way, Karasuno is over at my house right now

So it might be a bit loud

Sugamama

Go upstairs

Dadchi

Why are we texting you're right next to me

Sugamama 

I can't hear you over Tanaka's loud rap music

Dadchi

I'll just tell Ennoshita to look over them

Karasue us™

.

yesterday 1:00am

Yams

AND THEN HE

HE CALLED ME KINKY

the king

I COULDN'T B R E A T HE

AND THEN HINATA BOKE CAME OVER TO SMACK ME

boke

YOU SAID YOU COULDN'T BREATHE

mom™

Ah, so Lev listened to what Bokuto said-

Also, go to bed

It's late

boke

finee

gn 

the king

gn

.

today 1:05pm

dad™

@help me Ennoshita, Suga and I are going upstairs. Can you look after everyone else?

help me

fine just dont be too loud

dad™

What-

mom™

He thinks we're going to do it

dad™

No-

help me

yeahyeah whatever just go

headache ™

Dadchi

Okay he said yes, who's starting the video chat?

Kuroh no

hell yeah

Kuroh no started a video chat 

click to join

.

Daichi's icon appeared on screen a few seconds later, the box showing Daichi and Suga huddled in a fort of pillows and blankets. Kuroo waved hello, noticing the muffled rap/pop music. Suga quickly apologised for the noise.

Slowly, the screen filled icons and people, Oikawa being the last to join. He looked reluctant to speak, instead chewing on his stash of milk bread.

"Alright, so who's starting?" Daichi started when everyone had arrived. Akaashi shrugged.

"Bokuto-san, because he offered first."

"I didn't! Kuroo brought up the idea!" 

Kuroo stroked his chin as a name fell out of his mouth. "Iwaizumi." A hum was heard from the ace's box, a sign that he was listening. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," He answered with no hesitation, a sly grin formed onto his features. "Give me all you've got"

Kenma perked up, his face now visible. Despite playing Animal Crossing, he was clearly still interested in the conversation.

"I dare you to call your crush." Iwaizumi's face pales at this. Kuroo couldn't help but laugh and fall off his chair

"And who said I had a crush," the ace drawls slowly, not noticing how Oikawa tensed up. "I don't have time for crushes."

Suga made a small noise, burying his head in Daichi's shoulder. The call fell silent, the only sound being Karasuno's muffled party from downstairs.

"So," Iwaizumi cleared this throat. "Bokuto, truth or dare?"

"Are you sure you don't have a crush?" Yahaba spoke up. "I mean I've seen the way you look at-"

"Shut up." Seijoh's ace was pure red now. "Look, I don't have a crush okay?"

Yahaba mumbled something along the lines of "whatever you say" and the game progressed.

"Bokuto-san, truth or dare?"

"Truth, I guess."

"If you had to date anyone in this call, who would it be?"

"Well," he smirked, eyes drifting to Akaashi. "It would obviously be my man Kuroo."

"Yes, babe, I love you too." Kuroo grinned. He stuck up his middle finger. Bokuto reacted with a gasp, but nonetheless stuck up his middle finger as well.

Daichi groaned from his box. "You guys suck."

"We know"

Iwaizumi, who was confused beforehand and had now realised the joke, sighed. "It's supposed to be the  truth, Bokuto-san, but I'll let it slide.

"Oiks, truth or dare?"

Oikawa sighed. "I don't know, they're both bad." he paused, scanning the many boxes. "Eita-chan can choose for me."

Semi, who was carding sleeping Shirabu's hair answered with a hum. "Dare."

"Tooru, are you alright? You're awfully quiet." Ushijima cuts in. 

"I'm fine, thanks Ushiwaka." a weak smile. Semi and Ushijima immediately cringe. He's not okay.

"Oikawa, leave the call," worry visible in Semi's voice.

"What, no. I'm fine." Oikawa had avoided talking up until this point, knowing that he might cry if he did. Now, it looked like he was going to break.

"Fuck, if we were allowed to I would've let you come over, but Shiratorizawa doesn't accept outsiders."

"See, you should've gone to Shiratorizawa." Ushijima smiles.

Oikawa seemed to lighten up to that. "Shut up."

Suddenly, a crash sounded from Daichi and Suga's box. The two immediately looked over.

"Boke Hinata fell off the table!"

"He what?" The pinch server immediately stood up, but Daichi looked unfazed.

"Alright, I think that's enough drama for one day." Akaashi cleared his voice as he spoke up. "Bye everyone"

Oikawa merely smiled, clicking off as soon as Akaashi finished. Everyone else said their goodbyes and the boxes disappeared one by one.

.

call duration: 59:32

what have we created

Semi's Face

Oiks, are you ok?

Ushiwaka's Di-

You looked like you were going to cry

Oikawa's Nothing

oh yeah, i'm fine

my crush doesn't have a crush im fine :)

Daichi's Thighs

...

Daichi's Thighs changed Oikawa's Nothing's name to Oikawa's Everything

Oikawa's Everything

what-

Daichi's Thighs

You know, you're a really great person Oikawa

Under your really annoying layer

Oikawa's Everything

really?

thanks..

Semi's Face

we love you :DD

Ushiwaka's Di-

There is always a spot open in Shiratorizawa for you

Oikawa's Everything

ew stop yall are cheesy

i'm crying even more now

Iwaizumi Hajime

.

2:26pm

Yahaba

well you fucked up

Iwaizumi

yeah no need to rub it in my face yahaba

Yahaba

dude why didn't you let me finish my sentence

Iwaizumi

oikawa is a womanizer, he's straight

Yahaba

you

i hate this

fuck everything

you do know that Oikawa's pan right?

Iwaizumi

you're joking

Yahaba

hey this is your problem not mine

best of luck to you

i thought you were smart

Iwaizumi

shut up

Chapter Text

every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang

december - 3 months until graduation

.

3:40pm

Oikill me

YOOO

I AM NEW

I HAVE RECREATED MYSELF

yakuwu

are you no longer annoying

Oikill me

OKAY R U D E

I HAVE GOTTEN OVER MY CRUSH WITH IWAIZUMI

yahaha no

wait what

that easily??

Dadchi

Anyone gonna talk about how he said Iwaizumi instead of Iwa-chan?

Oikill me

oh yeah

i was thinking

iwaizumi always says that when i say iwa-chan its annoying

so i stopped

yahaha no

oikawa this doesn't seem like a good idea

you were also avoiding iwaizumi the whole day

Oikill me

well yeah all i had to do was engross myself with my many fangirls

yakuwu

aren't u and iwa like childhood friends?

you replaced him that easily?

Oikill me

ofc i didn't replace him

well

im trying to

Dadchi

this doesn't seem like a great idea...

Oikill me added Ushijima Wakatoshi

Oikill me

I forgot to 

every time

Oikill me  changed Ushijima Wakatoshi's nickname to Ushiwack me

saltybu

hey

who's he pining for

Oikill me

ten doughs

saltybu

wait rlly

srsly

woah

questioning his taste in men

wait but then my taste in men is bad too

Semight just die

wow?? um @ me next time

saltybu

i still love u

Semight just die

same <33

Oikill me

ok ew stop

this is gross

yakuwu

lmao

Ushiwack me

Oh, greetings Tooru

Oikill me

hey ushiwaka

Dadchi

KJSKASJLA

UPDATE

yakuwu

did daichi just keyboard smash

yahaha no

100% approved

Dadchi

SHUT UP :)

MY BB CROWS ARE EVOLVING

Sugamama

RIGHT???

yakuwu

woah

i just realised

when did suga get into this gc??

yahaha no

oh

thats simple

the author is dumb and forgot that suga wasn't in this gc

but kept him anyway

Oikill me

who?

Sugamama

what?

yahaha no

what?

anyway spill the tea

Dadchi

RIGHT SO

KAGEYAMA AND HINATA GOT TOGETHER

THEY'RE SO CUTE AND DOMESTIC I CRY

Sugamama

AND TSUKISHIMA AND YAMAGUCHI GOT TOGETHER TOO

Apparently Kags and Tsukki had a bet to see who would ask out their crush first

I got to experience the whole thing

And Kageyama was so flustered he didn't know how to act

Oikill me

wow even the salty dude?

Kuroh no

omg tsukki finally asked yams out

cute

Bokutoes

wow if first years can do it why cant u oiks

Oikill me

shut up

why cant u ask akaashi out

Bokutoes

i will

when i die :)

Kuroh no

same :)

Sugamama

Oh god

Dadchi

Stop getting off topic

Iwaoi

Sugamama

Right, yes, Iwaoi

Oikill me

is that supposed to be our ship name?

Kuroh no

yep

its a good ship name shut up

Oikill me

well

hate to break it to u

but i dont like iwaizumi anymore

yakuwu

god stop saying iwaizumi it makes me get shivers

Oikill me

but saying iwa-chan is annoying??

Ushiwack me

Since when have you cared about what others think?

Oikill me

i-

look i just dont want to feel broken anymore

yakuwu

welcome to feeling dead inside 24/7

Oikill me

wow *sniff* this is such a welcoming place

yakuwu

no, fuck you

yahaha no

im sure iwa likes you

Oikill me

are you deaf

he literally said he didnt have a crush

yahaha no

maybe he was panicking?

Oikill me

ugh whatever

i am crush free

Dadchi

No you're not we can all tell

Oikill me

help me get over it then

Sugamama

Nah, you're good

Oikill me

kindly fuck off :)

Iwaizumi Hajime

Yahaba

i 

am so done

Iwaizumi

Hello so done

Yahaba

that joke is old, stop it

Iwaizumi

What do you need?

Yahaba

1) you rlly fucked up

2) oikawa is a mess

3) he stopped saying iwa-chan and its giving yaku shivers

you alr know he likes u right??

Iwaizumi

No need to remind me that I fucked up, thanks Yahaba

Also Oikawa has never said directly that he liked me how do I know that you're not pulling my leg?

Yahaba

wow do u rlly not trust me that much

Iwaizumi

It's not that I don't trust you

Just that I'm really doubtful that Oikawa likes men

Yahaba

I told u he's p a n jesus christ

Iwaizumi

Are you sure?

Yahaba

yES!!!!!

Iwaizumi

Very sure?

Yahaba

FOR FUCKS SAKE

go ask ushiwaka or smth

Iwaizumi

Definitely not

I strongly dislike Ushijima

Yahaba

what

you hate ushiwaka?

Iwaizumi

I don't hate him

I strongly dislike him

Yahaba

they sound abt the same to me

Iwaizumi

They're different, I assure you

Yahaba

whats so bad about him

Iwaizumi

Oh, I don't know

He just

- Pisses off Oikawa so much to the point where he rants to me about how much he hates him

- Made Oikawa cry

- Keeps repeating "You should've gone to Shiratorizawa"

- Makes Oikawa regret his decisions

Do I need to go on

Yahaba

ok yeah but u made oiks cry too

Iwaizumi

Wait what

Yahaba

oops sorry

not sorry

Iwaizumi

I made him cry? When?

Yahaba

yesterday

for gods sake

if ur not gonna ask him out at least apologise

but he's literally tryna get over u

better snatch him before its too late

Iwaizumi

Ughh

Alright

Oikawa Tooru

Iwaizumi

Hey

Oikawa

can i help you??

Iwaizumi

Did I make you cry yesterday?

Oikawa

no..?

Iwaizumi

Are you sure?

Oikawa

yes, i'm fine iwaizumi thanks

Iwaizumi

Stop calling me that

And stop avoiding me at school

Oikawa

i thought u said it was annoying when i call u iwa-chan

Iwaizumi

When did I ever say that?

Oikawa

middle school

Iwaizumi

I-

That was ages ago wtf

Oikawa

eh

i remembered

Iwaizumi

Just

Can you keep calling me Iwa-chan?

Oikawa

what a strange request

but fine

anything else?

Iwaizumi

Stop avoiding me?

Oikawa

uh

Iwaizumi

Look, I'm sorry for whatever the fuck I did

Oikawa

whatever

fine i'll stop avoiding u

anything else??

Iwaizumi

Wanna go out on Sunday

Oikawa

whatever fine

wait what

is this a date ;)

Iwaizumi

No??

Yes??

Oikawa

what

Iwaizumi

Bold of you to assume I know what I'm saying too

Are you coming or not

Oikawa

whatever

Iwaizumi

I'll take that as a yes

every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang

Oikill me

HELLO

UPDATE

I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH IWA-CHAN AGAIN

THIS IS NOT GOOD

yakuwu

like you ever fell out of love with him to begin with

Oikill me

kindly shut up yaku :)

Chapter Text

Tsukishima Kei

.

12:54pm

Kageyama

It's time to get our shit together

Tsukishima

Why are you talking to me?

And what are you talking about?

Kageyama

Oh you don't want to talk to me?

Okay

Tsukishima

Wait,

What are you talking about?

Kageyama

Thought you didn't want to talk to me?

Tsukiyama

I don't.

But I want to know what you're talking about.

Kageyama

God stop using full stops

They're creepy

Tsukiyama

I apologise for being grammatically correct.

Kageyama

Ugh

Anyway

I know you like Yamaguchi

Tsukiyama

I do not.

Kageyama

Stop being a Shirabu

Tsukiyama

Who?

Kageyama

Shirabu? Setter of Shiratorizawa?

Tsukiyama

You keep in contact with him?

Kageyama

No, Daichi and Suga do

And I think Oikawa-san does as well

Tsukiyama

Whatever.

Kageyama

I bet you don't have the guts to ask Yamaguchi out

Tsukiyama

Oh yeah? What about you and Hinata huh?

Kageyama

What about the boke

Tsukiyama

You act like an old married couple 24/7.

Always bickering.

It's so annoying.

Kageyama

Oh yeah? At least I don't tell my crush to shut up all the time

Tsukiyama

At least I don't hit my crush all the time.

Kageyama

It's kinky

Tsukiyama

No, it's not.

Don't be a Lev.

Kageyama

Lmao Lev called Yamaguchi kinky

How did you feel

Tsukiyama

Nothing?

Kageyama

Nah, you were jealous

Tsukiyama

No, I wasn't.

Kageyama

Sureee whatever floats your boat

Tsukiyama

What kind of saying is that?

Kageyama

A good one

Okay, let's make a bet

Tsukiyama

No thanks.

I'm good.

Kageyama

What do you mean iM gOOD

You're not good

Pining idiot

Tsukiyama

Same goes to you.

Kageyama

Fine then, I'll ask Hinata out and we'll be happy

While you continue to pine helplessly over Yamaguchi

oH hOW i wiSH i liStenEd tO kAgeyAMA

nEHnEHn nEH iM suCH an iDIoT gODDAmn I nEEd tO stOp tELling yAmaGUChi tO SHut uP

Tsukiyama

...

What do I get out of this.

Kageyama

I'll ask Hinata out if you ask Yamaguchi out

Tsukiyama

No.

Kageyama

I'll buy you a life-sized Dinosaur plushie I saw on E-Wae the other day

Tsukiyama

Deal.

Kageyama

Wait, but you have to buy me milk for a month

Tsukiyama

What? You have milk every two seconds.

Kageyama

I do :D

Thank you for noticing

So?

Tsukiyama

Fine, whatever.

Deal.

When do we have to ask them out by?

Kageyama

Tonight

If Yamaguchi rejects you, you don't have to buy me milk

And I won't buy you the dinosaur plushie if Hinata rejects me

Tsukiyama

I feel really uneasy about this...

I really want that dinosaur plushie.

Kageyama

Well pray that Hinata returns my feelings

Tsukiyama

I can't believe I'm talking to an idiot.

Kageyama

That idiot could get you a relationship with Yamaguchi

Good luck ;)

Tsukiyama

Ew, god.

Boke Hinata Boke
nickname recovered from contacts. press here to undo

.

6:30pm

Kageyama

Hey

Boke

Boke Hinata Boke

:0

hey kageyama!! :D

Kageyama

Uh

Can you meet me behind the Gym?

Boke Hinata Boke

huh?

but its 6:30?

Kageyama

Just do it

Boke Hinata Boke

alright,,,

did i do something wrong?

Kageyama

No

Just need to talk to you

Boke Hinata Boke

cant you do it over text?

Kageyama

No

This is important

Just shut up and get here

Boke Hinata Boke

Okayokay i'm coming

bakeyama

YamaGUCCI 

nickname recovered from contacts. press here to undo

.

6:45pm

Tsukiyama

Hey.

Can I talk to you about something?

It's important.

YamaGUCCI

hey tsukki :D

sure?

Tsukiyama

Uh,

I don't know how to say this,

But I've liked you for a while...

YamaGUCCI

wait rlly?

Tsukiyama

Sorry for all the times I told you to shut up,

I didn't really mean it.

YamaGUCCI

AWWW TSUKKI

I LIKE YOU TOO

Tsukiyama

Really?

YamaGUCCI

yeah obv

Tsukiyama

So uh?

Boyfriend?

YamaGUCCI

yes duh

you're so awkward lmao

Tsukiyama

Sorry-

YamaGUCCI

don't beee

ily <3

Tsukiyama

I love you too <33

Kageyama Tobio

Save to contacts?

>yes<               no

change contact name

The person I owe a one month supply of Milk to

save?

>yes<                  no

saving...

The person I owe a one month supply of Milk to

nickname recovered from contacts. press here to undo

.

7:03pm

Tsukiyama

Hey.

How did it go?

The person I owe a one month supply of Milk to

Great!!

I told Hinata to meet me behind the gym at school

Told him how I felt

We hugged and kissed

And then we walked home together

Stupid boke didn't bring a coat so I let him use mine

IT LOOKED LIKE A BOYFRIEND SHIRT

I was so red

anyway

Wbu?

Tsukiyama

Uh

I asked him out over text??

The person I owe a one month supply of Milk to

DUDE

N O

Everyone knows you shouldn't ask people out over text

Unless it's an online relationship idk

Tsukiyama

Yeah but meeting up is so inconvenient

He still returned my feelings and now we're dating so...

The person I owe a one month supply of Milk to

Ugh

You're so stupid

Tsukiyama

I'm not the one who made my crush ride his bike all the way to school just to talk

The person I owe a one month supply of Milk to

i-

SHUT UP

Karasue us™

.

7:06pm

boke

HELLO

KAGEYAMA CAN WE TELL THEM

PLZ

the king

ofc

Yams

OMG TSUKKI CAN WE TELL THEM TOO

help me 2.0

sure

mom™

MY CHILDREN

WHAT'S HAPPENING

rolling noya

yESYES PLZ SPILL

boke

KAGEYAMA AND I ARE DATING

Yams

OMG SAME WITH ME AND TSUKKI

OMG

OUR ANNIVERSARY IS ON THE SAME DAY

boke

THATS SO COOL AHH

DOUBLE DATES??

Yams

uM HELL YEAH

mom™

OMG

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU *wipes tear*

rolling noya

aHHHHHH

THATS SO GOOD

@jesus

THEY'VE G R O W N

jesus

Congratulations :D

dad™

AHH MY CROW SONS

CONGRATULATIONS

WOW YOU ACTUALLY GOT YOUR SHIT TOGETHER

UNLIKE OIKAWA AND IWAIZUMI

SMH

mom™

ITS OKAY THEY'LL GET THERE ONE DAY

PARTY AT MY HOUSE TOMORROW YALL

dad™

YES

boke

OMG SUGA

MOM

I LOVE U

mom™

ILYT SON

the king

HINATA I SWEAR IF YOU FALL OFF THE TABLE AGAIN

boke

I WON'T KAGEYAMA I PROMISE

tanakick me

HELL YEAH

CAN I BE THE DJ AGAIN

help me

oh god

congrats you two!!

boke

THANKS ENNOSHITAA

Yams

THANK YOU ALL

I LOVE U ALL

E-Wae - jap

Item

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.

"Stupid Tsukishima and his stupid dinosaurs.." Kageyama mumbled under his breath as he confirmed the payment.

Chapter Text

every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang

december - 3 months until graduation

.

1:00am

Oikill me

OK SO

IWA-CHAN CONFIRMED TIMES AND SHIT

IM SO FUCKING NERVOUS

AND I GO OUT WITH IWA-CHAN ALL THE TIME

BUT THIS SEEMS LIKE A DATE

WHAT IF EVERYTHING GOES WRONG

WHAT IF I LOOK BAD

WHAT IF MY HAIR LOOKS OUT OF PLACE

Kuroh no

Oikawa

Fucking

Tooru

clam the fuck down

oh shit

Oikill me

I WILL NOT ' C L A M ' THE FUCK DOWN HOW DO U EVEN DO THAT

HOW DO U CLAM DOWN

Kuroh no

I MEANT CALM DOWN AND U KNOW IT

Sugamama

WHAT THE FUCK

IT'S 1AM

DO YOU EVER SLEEP

Bokutoes

huh

whats sleep

i have never heard of such thing

Sugamama

Bokuto Koutarou.

You will go the fuck to sleep right now before I come for your kneecaps.

Bokutoes

yessir

Kuroh no

do u have a kneecap kink or smth

Sugamama

Ew definitely not

But you should sleep as well

Kuroh no

Oikawa's going through a crisis tho

Oikill me

YES THANK U FOR ACKNOWLEDGING MY PRESENCE

I'M F R E A K I N G OUT

UGHH

Sugamama

When are you going to meet up with him??

Oikill me

12:30pm

Sugamama

And what time is it? :)

Oikill me

...1am

Sugamama

Exactly

GET THE FUCK TO BED RIGHT NOW.

Oikill me

GAH OK DON'T KILL ME

Sugamama

Goodnight :)

.

8:20am

Dadchi

Gooooooooooooooooooood morning :D

The day of Oikawa's death

Oikill me

bold of u to assume i havent alr died

Dadchi

Valid point

yakuwu

hi!! welcome to oikawa's gay crisis how may i assist you :)

yahaha no

by being dead

yakuwu

request dENIED.

fuck u yahaba

yahaha no

wow,,,leaving oikawa's gay crisis this is a bad place

i rate it 1 star out of 5

no, 0.5 stars out of 5

Oikill me

wow u dare to rate my gay crisis that low??

yahaha no

yep

Oikill me

r u d e

anyone give actual advice??

Ushiwack me

Be yourself

Think of it as just hanging out

Not a date

Did he say it was a date?

Oikill me

he said no and then yes

i am confusion

Ushiwack me

I thought your name was Oikawa?

Oikill me

wow, real funny ushiwaka

this is the pinnacle of comedy

Ushiwack me

I know, I'm so amusing

I should become a comedian

Oikill me

you'll be living on the streets

Ushiwack me

Thanks, Tooru

Sugamama

Ushijima is right

Just be yourself

Oikill me

EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.

Sugamama

Shut the fuck up and get ready :)

yakuwu

just realised

didnt think suga swore as much as he does

Sugamama

I just don't swear as much in front of my children

I still do just

Put down a notch

yakuwu

wow

i wish kuroo did that for our chat

lIKE I DO

Kuroh no

you're the responsible mom

i'm the chaotic dad

it balances out

yakuwu

nO IT DOESNT!!!!

well it does but

ITS NOT FAIR fOR ME

Kuroh no

Nobody is stopping u from being a chaotic mom

yakuwu

ugh

Oikill me

okok

im 

done??

my hair 

looks gross but

whatever

Sugamama

Wow I thought that was natural hair

Oikill me

wow if it was natural

i wouldve been perfect from the start

Sugamama

Hm

Okill me

9am is too eaRLY to go out??

yahaha no

get bubble tea

thats what i do when im early

Kuroh no

MMMMMMMMMMM

BUBBLE TEA

CAN I JUST SAY

THE BEST THING INVENTED

Bokutoes

I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED BY BUBBLE TEA

Dadchi

I've

Never tried bubble tea before

Ushiwack me

^

Oikill me

GASP

SRSLY???

Sugamama

I'll bring bubble tea to the party later today

Dadchi

Okay

Kuroh no

Huh? Party?

Sugamama

Yeah, in celebration of our crows evolving

Bokutoes

omg yall are the best parents

now i know why karasuno loves u

dam n

Semight just die

goodmorning

just woke up

im sure kenji is gonna kill me but

lookatmybbgo.png

sleeping shirabu is soft shirabu

Sugamama

Omg yall are so domestic wtf

Daichi, why can't we do that

Dadchi

What do you mean we do that all the time

Sugamama

:(

Dadchi

We can sleep later okay?

Sugamama

:D

Oikill me

IMMMMMM

FREAKING OUTTTT

ALSO TOOK A MYSTERY PILLLLL

THOUGHT IT WAS TO CALM ME DOWN

BUT IM FUCKING H Y P E D

WOO

yakuwu

is this a good thing or bad thing

yahaha no

if its oikawa, its a bad thing

Oikill me

YO IM

I FEEL SICK

Sugamama

Holy shit please don't throw up on Iwaizumi

Oikill me

WHY WOUKD I DI THAT??

THATS STUDPIF

Semight just die

uhh

oikawa??

Oikill me

heY SMEI

Semight just die

how many fingers am i holding up

image0.jpeg

Oikill me

uhh

three

Semight just die

ok so he's not that loopy

Sugamama

Do a double check

how many fingers

image0.jpeg

Oikill me

enough to make daichi scream ;))

jk

five

Sugamama

Ew

God

Okay so you should be fine?

Oikill me

ugh im freaking outt

Dadchi

Calm down

You got this :D

Ushiwack me

Yes, go Oikawa

I hope you don't ruin your relationship with Iwaizumi

Oikill me

real comforting words thanks Ushiwaka

Ushiwack me

No problem Tooru.

Iwa-chan

nickname recovered from contacts. press here to undo.

Iwa-chan

Hey Oikawa

I'm outside

Oikawa

wow that's creepy iwa-chan

Iwa-chan

Shut up

Are you ready?

Oikawa

yeah

ig

Iwa-chan

Meet me outside when you're ready

Karasue us™

.

12:58pm

help me

WHAT WAS THAT SOUND

the king

WHERE'S HINATA

mom™

WHATS HAPPENING MY CHILDREN

the king

CANT FIND BOKE??

@boke

WHERE ARE YOU

help me 2.0

Ummm.

Found him.

mom™

WHERE

the king

WHERE

help me 2.0

He fell off the table.

the king

...

rolling noya

AHAHHAA

WHY DOES HE CLIMB ON THE TABLES

Yams

It makes him taller lMAO

the king

fucking boke

mom™

EXCUSE ME

DO NOT SWEAR

the king

but you do it all the time??

mom™

IM NOT A FIRST YEAR

SMHH

the king

yes mom

boke

hii :D

the king

HINATA.

YOU AND ME WILL HAVE A NICE LONG TALK ABOUT HOW YOU CANNOT STAND ON TABLES ANYMORE.

boke

but-

the king

NO.

YOU'RE BANNED FROM TABLES.

rolling noya

im screen-shotting all of this

jesus

babe please

rolling noya

nah im doing it anyway :D

every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang

.

3:30pm

Oikill me

hey

im home

Sugamama

OMG

HOW WAS IT

HOW DID IT GO

Oikill me

i...

uh

we're done

Dadchi

What?

Oikill me

I ruined our relationship.

yakuwu

wait,,,you're kidding

Oikill me

yep, we're no longer friends

Sugamama

wait what happened

Oikill me

we're no longer friends

bECAUSE WE'RE DATING NOW

BOYFRIENDS YO

yahaha no

haha so funny ugh

Ushiwack me

I got scared for a second

But then I realised this is Oikawa being Oikawa

Oikill me

you know me so well toshi-chan ;)

yakuwu

OMG

CONGRATS

POOR IWAIZUMI

Oikill me

EXCUSE ME???

yakuwu

you heard me ;)

Kuroh no

BROOOOOOOOOOOOO

IM SO PROUD OF U

GOOD JOB MY MAN

Bokutoes

OIKAWA

GOOD FUCKING JOB 

:D

TELL US EVERYTHINGGG

Oikill me

ok so

I left the house

Sugamama

Great start, honey

Oikill me

thanks mom :D

Anyway, I left the house and Iwa-chan was waiting outside

So we walked to this cafe place

and he also bought me milk bread :D

so we ordered our food and we talked n shit

and then afterwards we went to this park

and he started acting all weird and i was like oH shIt iS hE unComfoRtaBle with me????

but then he confessed and we leaned closer and-

oops, you've used all your energy for today. please pay $69 dollars to unlock the next scene

yakuwu

no, fuck you

yakuwu added Iwaizumi Hajime to every passing second is time wasted on
wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang

yakuwu  changed Iwaizumi Hajime's nickname to iwa-fan

iwa-fan

This nickname is trash

yakuwu

you're trash

Oikill me

you're my trash ;)

iwa-fan

no

Sugamama

So what happened after??

iwa-fan

oh

we kissed

and then i walked tooru home

the end

Dadchi

omg

yall

domestic asf

Sugamama

DSJLKD

and thus,,oikawa's gay crisis has ended

and a new one will begin

yakuwu

HI SO

I KIND OF ACCIDENTALLY SMACKED LEV'S ASS

ON INSTINCT

AND I CANT LOOK HIM IN THE EYE ANYMORE

iwa-fan

ON INSTINCT????

Oikill me

wow

ok

have fun

Chapter Text

every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang

december - 3 months until graduation

.

4:00pm

Dadchi

HOW DO YOU SMACK SOMEONE'S ASS ON INSTINCT??

yakuwu

SEE I-

I HIT HIM ALL THE TIME

SO LIKE ITS NORMAL

Sugamama

YOU HIT YOUR CRUSH ALL THE TIME??

iwa-fan

I did that too

And look where I am now

yahaha no

oh yeah

only after making ur crush cry ofc

iwa-fan

Shut up :)

Oikill me

:,)

Semight just die

i wish you the best of luck yaku

yakuwu

fuck you semi

Semight just die

wow so much for being nice

Kuroh no

hi ive arrived just in time for yaku's gay disaster

Bokutoes

every passing second is time wasted vol 1: semishira's gay denial

every passing second is time wasted vol 2: iwaoi's gay panic

every passing second is time wasted vol 3: yakulev's gay disaster

i would buy every book ngl

Kuroh no

same

yahaha no

yaku,

my man

its simple

don't smack people's asses

yakuwu

I CANT HELP IT

MY BODY MOVES BY ITSELF

yahaha no

THEN TELL UR BODY TO ASK LEV OUT

Kuroh no

its been months and im still surprised u like lev

yakuwu

well yeah he's cute

Kuroh no

god

no

shut up

Sugamama

Guys!

Let's go bowling! :D

Dadchi

What why

Sugamama

For fun wtf Daichi

Dadchi

Imagine having fun

Can't relate

yakuwu

oh yeah sounds like fun

Sugamama

Let's invite all of headache™ including Lev

yakuwu

oh

uh

sounds like shit i don't think i wanna come

yahaha no

haha weak

yakuwu

you like a dog,,you can't talk

yahaha no

you like a pole,, you can't talk

Oikill me

you both don't have boyfriends,,you can't talk

yahaha no

shut the fuck up oikawa :)

Oikill me

:(

Sugamama

I don't really care what you all say you're all coming

Kuroh no

im just gonna stick with my bae all day

saltybu

kenma??

Kuroh no

;0

ew no

bokuto, my man

Bokutoes

ily babe

Kuroh no

;)

saltybu

no wonder they hate you

Kuroh no

THEY WHAT

headache™

.

4:30pm

Sugamama

We're going bowling and idc what you say :D

Reifu

Okay! :D

Can I invite Hinata and Kageyama?

Sugamama

Aw you're so cute

Ofc

Dadchi

December, 28th, The day I was replaced :')

Sugamama

I replaced you on December 20th, actually

Dadchi

What how

Sugamama

Hinata was eating his pork bun and it looked adorable

Dadchi

Wow, nice to know I've been replaced ages ago

Sugamama

It's okay I still love you

Dadchi

Fuck you Suga <3

Sugamama

Fuck you too <33

sat-on-me

wow bowling?

never been

Ushiwack me

same

Kozoom

Bowling?

I'll probably stay in the arcade

saltybu

I'll just follow semi

Semight just die

nO

You have to be

uh

soCiAL

saltybu

no, fuck human interaction

Semight just die

alr then

Oikill me

can't wait :D

Sugamama

Meet up at xxxx xxxx at 12:30 tomorrow :D

yakuwu

whatever

"Hey, Semi, over here!"

Suga waved to get the setter's attention. Semi smiled in return, guiding Saltybu Shirabu towards Suga. Shirabu barely looked awake despite it being 12:30. His boyfriend goes on to chat with Suga and Daichi.

Soon after, Ushijima and Tendou joined them, Tendou complaining about how Semi didn't wake him up. The latter responds by kicking him in the shin, resulting in the two's signature loud bickering.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi arrive next, hand in hand. Iwaizumi looked half dead inside and outside, but who could blame him? Oikawa and Ushijima immediately start arguing about Shiratorizawa and all Iwaizumi could do was roll his eyes at the stupidity. 

One by one, everyone joined them until there was a mass gathering outside the bowling place. Oikawa watched a little girl stare at him in curiosity as his boyfriend pecks him on the cheek. Kenma had arrived on Kuroo's back, still sleeping while Bokuto chatted loudly next to them. Akaashi had his normal poker-face, nothing out of the norm. 

Yaku tried not to look at Lev who was laughing alongside Hinata and Kageyama. Yahaba suggested that Yaku tie his hands together.

Yahaba ended up with a bruise on his hip

.

The group ended up splitting in two groups- the ones that wanted to go bowling and the ones who wanted to go to the arcade.

Kenma, of course wanted to go to the arcade and forced Kuroo to come with him. Bokuto and Akaashi went as well because, well, their best friends were going too. Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Semi and Shirabu invested themselves in the Virtual Reality machines in the far corner.

Hinata and Lev, who had never touched a bowling ball, were jumping with excitement as Suga taught them how to hold it.
(A/N: Ha, teaching a baby crow and a baby cat how to hold balls-I'm sorry.)

Yaku groaned, burying his face deeper in Yahaba's shoulder who patted it out of pity. Kyoutani was forced to come with them, but he eyed Yaku suspiciously.

Eventually, the bowling game commenced. In summary: Hinata slipped on the ground and landed face first into the bowling alley. He got a mouthful from Kageyama.

.

"Oikawa, do you want any snacks?" Iwaizumi asked as Oikawa stepped out of the VR machine.

"Hm, yeah, maybe after the others are done with their bowling game, we can eat at the cafe here. Could you go check on them?"

Iwaizumi nodded, sprinting over to where Suga's group was.

"You know, if you're hungry you can be my snack~" 

Oikawa tensed up a bit at the breath on his neck, but chose to ignore it instead. He scanned the arcade for where Semi and Shirabu might be, or maybe even Kuroo and Bokuto. But nobody was in sight.

"Not responding, huh?"

The stranger behind him gripped him firmly on his shoulder, spinning him around. If he wasn't a stranger, Oikawa would have potentially dated him. He was good looking enough, with a single piercing on his right ear and ash blonde hair.

But he wasn't Iwaizumi.

"Fuck off," Oikawa snarled, attempting to squirm out of his grasp.

"Feisty, I see. Just my type." The stranger smiles, leaning in. Oikawa closes his eyes in fear, maybe if he just endures it, it'll be over soon. His grip was so strong that it was physically starting to hurt his shoulder. Oikawa prayed that someone would help, but one quick glance to the side confirmed that Iwaizumi wasn't back yet. The setter braced himself as the stranger got closer and closer, his arm moving to trace shapes on Oikawa's back and eventually down to his-

"Hello, I believe this isn't your boyfriend."

Ushijima smiled, but it was dripping with venom. Tendou, Semi and Shirabu showed up behind him.

"And you are..?" 

"I'm his boyfriend, nice to fucking meet you. I'd appreciate it if you get your hands off him." Ushijima grabbed Oikawa's arm, ripping him out of the grasp he was previously in. The stranger just scoffed, turning on his heel and walking away.

"Are you alright, Oiks?" Semi asked quickly, rushing over to check if he had any physical injuries. He tapped Oikawa's shoulder lightly (where the stranger had gripped him) and when Oikawa didn't react in any way, confirming that he was okay, Semi pulled him into a tight hug.

"Are you crazy? Call for help next time, don't be an idiot."

"Sorry," Oikawa flashed a weak smile. Ushijima chuckled.

"If you went to Shiratorizawa, you wouldn't have almost been sexually harassed."

Tendou whacked him as Oikawa laughed.

When Iwaizumi returned, Shirabu filled him in on everything that happened. Iwaizumi cracked his knuckles when given the description of the stranger.

.

"Kuroo, let's play this next!"

Akaashi had never seen Kenma so excited before. Usually he was stone-faced and looked bored with everything, but right now, he was jumping up and down, dragging Kuroo all over the arcade.

Bokuto and Kuroo joke about all sorts while being dragged around. Honestly, Akaashi was a bit hurt that Bokuto never really paid that much attention to him, and was almost 100% convinced that Bokuto liked Kuroo. Even so, Akaashi was happy for him.

Kenma and Kuroo played one of those sketchy prize winning games, this one being a classic shooter. If you shoot a certain amount, you get a certain prize.

Bokuto laughed at Kuroo's poor attempts at getting anything while Kenma completely wiped out his high score.

Akaashi smiled while he watched the three, until his ear picked up something in the background.

"Do you think they're gay?"

"No, they look like friends to me."

Akaashi turned around briefly to see who was talking. He eventually deciphered that it was from a group of girls observing them from behind an arcade machine. He also recognised a young girl with among them, the same girl who eyed Oikawa curiously when Iwaizumi kissed him.

A cheer came from the front which made Akaashi turn around again. Kenma had won the top prize, a large neko plushie. Sheepishly, he gave it to Kuroo who hugged him tightly, kissing the top of his head.

"No they're definitely gay. How disgusting."

"I would've totally dated the tall, black haired dude. Total bummer that he's gay." The tallest girl said, scrunching up her face.

"What's gay?" The youngest girl asked. The two older girls looked at eachother.

"If you're gay, you're disgusting. Being gay is when a boy likes a boy or when a girl likes a girl."

The younger girl still looked confused, but scrunched up her face in disgust when she saw the girls around her do it.

"Akaashi, what are you looking at?" Bokuto asked, eyes following Akaashi's eye of view.

"It's nothing."

.

"And the hinata boke fell face first onto the bowling alley. Do you know how dangerous that is?!" Kageyama yelled for the umpteenth time today. Hinata sighed in regret.

"So, how did your experience go?"

"Nothing much, Tooru just almost got sexually harassed."

"You what?! And you didn't tell us?" Suga frantically scanned Oikawa's body to check for physical injuries just as Semi did. Must be a team mom instinct.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Ushiwaka stopped him." Oikawa said as he smiled at Ushijima. "Thanks, toshi-chan."

"It's fine."

Daichi stole some of Suga's chips. "And Akaashi? How did your group go?"

"Kenma won me a huge neko plushie!" Kuroo said loudly, grabbing the neko from the plastic bag. "Everything went fine, I think."

"Not really.." Akaashi mumbled under his breath.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, there were these group of girls who were being homophobic, but it's fine I guess..."

Akaashi feels Bokuto tense up beside him.

.

"Yaku-senpai!"

Lev sprints up to Yaku, who was preparing to walk home.

"Can I help you?" The shorter tries not to make eye contact.

"Uh-I" Lev fiddled with his fingers as he talked. "Why have you been ignoring me? Did I do something wrong?"

Yaku freezes.

"No, of course not. Go home, It's getting late."

Chapter Text

first years do be riding high

.

10:20am, 29th December

Levoma

Am I a bad person?

Shrimp

huh

ofc not

why do u ask??

Levoma

Yaku-san is avoiding me..

I don't know what I did wrong!!!

Shrimp

whaaat

im sure you can just ask him

Levoma

He didn't respond with a clear answer!!!

Milk

Ask Suga-san, he always knows what to do

Levoma

GOOD IDEA!!!

Milk

@Tsukki-she-ma Your dinosaur thing arrived

Tsukki-she-ma

Give it to me at school

Milk

Wow, like I wasn't going to do that at the first place what are the odds?

Yams is Gucci

dinosaur thing...?

Sugawara Koushi

.

10:25am

You

SUGA-SAN!!!!

Sugawara Koushi

Hello? Who's this?

You

IT'S ME, LEV!!!

Sugawara Koushi

Oh

Hello :D

Can I help you with something??

You

Uh

Is Yaku-san mad at me?

Sugawara Koushi

What?

Why would he be mad at you?

You

He's been avoiding me lately and he doesn't look me in the eye anymore...

Sugawara Koushi

Ohhh

Is this about the time he slapped your ass?

You

Wha?

Isn't that normal?

Sugawara Koushi

WH-

WHAT PART OF THAT IS NORMAL

LEV

THAT IS NOT NORMAL PLEASE DO NOT THINK THAT IS NORMAL

IF SOMEONE SLAPS YOUR ASS CALL THE POLICE OR SMTH OR CALL ONE OF THE THIRD YEARS

You

So, Yaku-san slapped my butt so I call a third year which is Yaku-san?

Sugawara Koushi

No-

If a random stranger slaps your ass that's not okay.

You

Oh

I see

Thanks Suga-san! You're kinky!

Sugawara Koushi

What did Bokuto do...

Conclusion is that Yaku doesn't hate you

He's going through...

A gay crisis.

Huh, I wonder why this gay crisis thing is so f a m i l i a r

You

Gay crisis...?

What does that mean

Sugawara Koushi

Uh

Ah

It means idiot..?

THE NICER WAY OF SAYING IDIOT

You

Oh

Thanks Suga-san!

Are you sure Yaku-san doesn't hate me

Sugawara Koushi

100% sure

But try to talk to him soon I'm dying

You

You may have grey hair but you're not that old, Suga-san.

Sugawara Koushi

I-

Thanks Lev

You

No problem :D

every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang

.

10:32am

Sugamama

God please help Lev

Bokutoes

what happened

Sugamama

He called Yams kinky, and then he called me kinky

Who's going to tell him the real meaning

Bokutoes

my damage has been done :)

Sugamama

You started it, you fix it.

Bokutoes

what no

Sugamama

Say that again? :)

Bokutoes

IM SORRY ILL DO IT-

Kuroh no

what did he do this time

oh god

iwa-fan

This gc

Pain

yakuwu

if you can deal with oikawa you can deal with this gc

iwa-fan

fair

Sugamama

He kept asking whether he did something wrong to piss you off Yaku

And he asked the first years if he was a bad person in the first year gc

Yaku do something god

Yakuwu

can't

dying

Sugamama

I told Lev the same thing and he was like "You may have grey hair but you're not that old, Suga-san."

Dadchi

Aight who's ass do I need to kick

Oh

Wait its Lev being Lev

Nevermind

Sugamama

I was touched for 0.2 seconds before you fucked up :)

Dadchi

Love you too

Kuroh no

i'm-

Semight just die

wow

I sexually identify as a Lev. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dying over my boyfriend, dropping my shit on his face. People say to me that being so uncoordinated is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm actually more uncoordinated than you think. I'm having a gay crisis over this short ass human being who slapped my ass, even thinking that it was normal. From now on I want you guys to call me "kinky" and respect my right to die and die needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a gay crisis magnet and need to check your ass. Thank you for being so understanding.

Yakuwu

wha-

how did you write it so fast

Semight just die

i didn't

Yakuwu

what-

 where's ur bfs anyway

iwa-fan

sleeping

Semigh just die

sleeping

yahaha no

ha sleep is for the weak

iwa-fan

You said you were going to sleep at 5pm because "Satan is waiting for you"

yahaha no

UM OK SO LEMME EXPLAIN-

Kuroh

lMAO WHAT-

yahaha no

I HAD A DREAM

Yakuwu

NO ONE FUCKING CARES YAHABA

GO TO YOUR BB SATAN I DONT GIVE A SHIT

yahaha no

wOAH ok calm down

iwa-fan

I didn't know Kyoutani was Satan

Sugamama

Yaku

Lev

Help

Yakuwu

ill get to it stop rushing me

Don't you hate it when a chinchilla eats the universe

.

10:56am

Yamamotomoto likes you

SO

I HAD TO GO BACK  TO GET THE YAKISOBA BREAD

BUT THEN WHEN I FINALLY GOT IT AFTER THE LONG GODDAMN LINE

I FUCKING DROPPED IT

I DROPPED IT

AND I COULDN'T GET ANOTHER ONE BECAUSE THEY SOLD OUT

fml

wHAT the hELl aRE yOu doIng wiTh yOur arMS???

Wow!! Good job Yamamoto-san!

You're a gay crisis!

Yamamotomoto likes you

i'm a what-

Nobuyuki Kai

I'm confused?

wHAT the hELl aRE yOu doIng wiTh yOur arMS???

It's alright Kai-san! You're kinky!

your neighbourhood drug dealer

HAHAHAHA

BOKUTO DID THE DAMAGE OH GOD

your neighbourhood gamer

What are you talking about Kuroo?

your neighbourhood drug dealer

it's fine kenma go back to acnh

your neighbourhood gamer

Speaking of ac

What was that message you sent me?

your neighbourhood drug dealer

UMMMM

Kinky

.

11:00am

You

yo

lev

yknow when i told you kinky meant nice?

i lied

i didn't know u actually would believe me

Kinky

Ohhh

So is that why the cafe ladies gave me weird stares when I called them Kinky?

You

LMAO YOU CALLED THEM KINKY OH NO

Kinky

Oh yeah!!

Suga told me a new word!

Gay Crisis means Idiot in a nicer way!!!

So cool!

You

oH MY GOD LMAO

every passing second is time wasted on wishing you were with them instead of actually trying gang

.

11:01am

Bokutoes

@Sugamama YOU STARTED IT, YOU FIX IT

Sugamama

Oh god what did he do