Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There are secrets that we still have left to find
There have been mysteries from the beginning of time
There are answers we're not wise enough to see
He said you looking for a clue I love you free

The Riddle: Five For Fighting

2003

“Dr. Reid, I’d like you to meet the unit chief, Aaron Hotchner.” Gideon said, leading a 20-year-old Spencer Reid into the older man’s office.  “Hotch, meet our newest recruit.”

Reid’s breath caught as he caught the scent of the other man.  But as he did nothing other than extend his hand to shake, Reid responded in kind.  “It’s nice to meet you Agent Hotchner.” He said.

“It’s just Hotch.” He smiled at him, shaking the younger man’s hand.  He was immediately intrigued and captivated with the younger man.  “Gideon has told me a lot about you.  We’re glad to have you on the team.”

“T-thank you.” He stuttered.  The scent of the other man was overwhelming.  He’d read and learned about mate’s from a young age and knew all the lore.  But he never would have imagined it felt like this.  He wore scent blockers, as did most omegas who worked in public.  Still, the romance novels and even some of the actual literature had said that an alpha would recognize their mate, even with blockers.  However, Hotch had had no reaction to him.  

“Go ahead and settle in, we don’t have any cases right now.” Hotch told him and reluctantly, Reid followed Gideon out, meeting the rest of the team, setting up his desk and reading over various files.  He sighed, it was going to be a long time working with his mate and never letting him know…

Chapter Text

Here's a riddle for you
Find the answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I

The Riddle: Five For Fighting

2007

Hotch was the first one to reach him as he kneeled over Tobias Hankel’s body.  Warm, strong arms came around him, helping him stand up.  Reid whined, unable to hide the response.  “You okay?” Hotch asked, then froze.  Reid had been without his suppressants for a few days.  Reid threw his arms around him and held him close.

“I knew you’d understand.” He said.  Hotch sniffed very gently and realized that Reid was scenting him as well.  Reid wouldn’t even loosen his grip slightly, as the rest of the team surrounded them.

“Reid?” He asked, trying to keep his voice calm and steady.  “You...you...a-are…” He stumbled.  Then he took a huge breath and he knew with absolute certainty.  “Are you my mate?” He asked, completely dumbstruck.

If possible, the grip on him became even tighter as Reid clung to him.  He began to sob, the reality starting to hit him.  He’d kept the secret for four years and now everyone knew.  “I-I-I...I’m so sorry.” 

“How long have you known?” He asked, still in shock.

“Since the day we met.” Reid admitted.  No one knew what to say.  There was a long silence until Hotch finally spoke up again, his training breaking through everything that had just happened.

“We need to get you to a hospital.” He said.  Reid, limping badly, refused to let go of Hotch.  They made it about 5 steps when he stopped.  He didn’t want to let go, now that he finally was in his Alpha’s arms, he didn’t want to leave, but there was something he had to do.

“Can I have a minute?” He asked, glancing at Tobias’ body.  Every iota of Hotch’s body screamed not to let his Omega go, but he looked into Reid’s eyes.  He knew that he needed the closure.  He gave one last quick sniff before stepping away.  

Reid all but collapsed to the ground, staring at the man he had just killed.  He was so confused, Tobias was innocent but his body wasn’t.  He blinked away tears and reached into his pocket, taking the bottles of Dilaudid.  He got them into his own pocket before trying to get up again.  Before he could, he heard Hotch’s voice.  “I’ll help you if you need.  I’m right here.”

Reid looked up, eyes still pouring tears though he didn’t even realize it.  “Help.” He whispered and instantly Hotch was at his side.  He gently eased him off the ground and helped him start walking.  They got him to the waiting ambulance and Hotch helped him inside.  

“Sir, I’m sorry, you’ll have to follow behind.” Said the EMT.

Reid immediately reached for him.  “No!” He cried out.  “H-Hotch, don’t leave!”

“I’m his mate.” He said, tersely, climbing in and taking Reid’s hand.  “I’m right here, I’m right here.  I’m not leaving you, never again.” He promised.  Reid began to sob again.  

“I’m sorry I never told you.  I-I thought I was going to d-die and you’d never know.  I’d never be able to...to…” He cried harder.  

“Shh, Reid, shh…” He coaxed.  “Everything is okay.  You need to get to the hospital and then we’ll sort everything out.  I’m right here, I won’t leave.” He promised the sobbing younger man.  The EMT’s began fiddling around, starting IV’s and Hotch couldn’t help but notice the scarred skin from where he’d been injected.  

“We’re going to give him a sedative.” One of the EMT’s explained, softly.  “He’s so worked up and he’s got a lot of injuries.  You can stay right here with him.” She promised, injecting something into the IV line.  Almost instantly, Reid began to droop.  His eyes blurred, still met Hotch’s and he continued to hold his hand.  Within five minutes he was out. 

 When they got the ER it was a flurry of activity.  They wheeled Spencer in and immediately began examining him and checking bloodwork and vitals.  Hotch didn’t understand the words and the lingo being tossed about but he kept his promise and stayed with Reid.  “Sir, we have to take him for a CAT scan and X-Rays.  You won’t be able to join us there.  He’s heavily sedated and will not wake up for a few hours.  Why don’t you go get some coffee.  I believe your team is in the waiting room.  Go update them.  As soon as he’s back, I’ll come get you myself.” Said a young nurse.  “I’m Amanda.  I’ll be with him the entire time.” She assured him.

He wanted to argue and fight.  He’d just found his mate and leaving his side, especially with him so hurt, seemed impossible.  Amanda squeezed his upper arm.  “He’s in good hands.” She said.  Hotch leaned down, brushed Spencer’s hair back and kissed his forehead.  Amanda had another nurse bring him to a private waiting room, where the rest of the team was.

“Aaron?” Gideon asked, and Hotch almost lost it.  His knees went out from under him and if it hadn’t been for Derek standing right there, he would have hit the floor.  Instantly, JJ had pulled over a chair and he was helped into it.  Emily had a bottle of water that she passed over to him.  “Is he alive?”

“He’s alive.  He’s sedated right now.  They’re taking him for X-Rays and a CAT scan.” He said, once he had managed to catch his own breath.  “I’m...not sure...what...else…” He managed to choke out.  

“He’s alive, we found him.” Gideon said.  “YOU found him.  You understood his clue and you found him.  He’s going to be fine.”

Hotch buried his face in his hands and then ran them through his hair.  “He’s known for four years.  For four years he’s worked with me, side by side, sometimes sleeping in the same hotel room.  He’s known that he was meant to be mine and didn’t say anything.  How...how could I not have known?” He asked.

Emily brought over a cup of coffee, as there was a pot in the room.  She handed it to him, hoping the warm liquid would help her boss stop the shivering she was pretty sure he wasn’t even aware of.  “He was on scent blockers.  There was no way you could have known unless he told you.” She said, softly.

“I should have known.” He said.  “All this time, he’s been so close and I had no idea.”

“Aaron.” Gideon said, his voice strong.  “There was no way for you to know.  You need to pull yourself together, because your MATE needs you now, more than ever.  We don’t know everything done to him.”

Hotch processed that.  He had known it was a possibility but that was before he’d known that Reid was his.  He growled, under his breath.  “Stop it.  Don’t do that.  Let’s just get through this, one step at a time.  Pull it together.” Gideon demanded.  Hotch took a deep breath and nodded.  He sipped at the coffee, it was terrible but it was hot and caffeinated.  He wasn’t sure how long it had been when Amanda appeared at the door. 

“Agent Hotchner?  We’re back.  Mr. Reid-” She started, but Hotch cut her off.  

“Dr. Reid.” He corrected, automatically.

“Dr. Reid,” She continued, seamlessly.  “He’s back in his room.  He’s still sedated, but the doctor would like to talk with you.  You are his medical proxy, and I believe you just discovered you were mates?” She asked.

Hotch nodded and followed her back to the room.  Spencer looked so young lying on the bed.  He was in a hospital gown, stitches on his head, his arm in a splint, his ankle in a cast.  He had bruises everywhere and he looked so pitiful Aaron almost cried.  “Have a seat. Dr. Harbatkin will be here in just a minute.”

Hotch pulled a chair up next to Spencer’s bed and took his unsplinted hand in his own.  He gently rubbed his thumb over the back of his hand, watching his sleeping mate.  The smell of medicine and antiseptic was heavy, but he could still smell Spencer.  He could still smell what made him his.  He wasn’t sure how long he sat there when he heard a knock and the door opened, revealing a man in a white coat.

“Agent Hotchner? I’m Dr. Harbatkin.” He said, holding out his hand.

“Hello.” He said, trying to be polite even though all he wanted was to know what was happening with Reid.  

“I understand we have an...unusual set of circumstances.  Can you run me quickly through what happened to bring Dr. Reid under our care?” He asked.  Hotch quickly detailed the fact that they were FBI profilers and had been on a case when Reid was abducted by the UnSub.  He told him of what he knew had happened, based on the video footage seen.  He explained that when they found Reid, he was off his suppressants and he could smell they were mates, and it was confirmed by Reid that he had known for four years.  Dr. Harbatkin listened to it all, nodding and taking notes.  “Okay, thank you Agent Hotchner.  Dr. Reid has been through some incredible trauma and is very lucky to be alive.  He has a sprained ankle and sprained wrist.  He’s been without his suppressants.  He’s been tortured and it definitely appears that at one point, he needed CPR.  He has a few cracked ribs and a concussion.” Hotch almost threw up, glancing over at the young man on the bed.  “The good news is that he now has you.” Dr. Harbatkin continued.  “Mates, true mates, always make recovery easier.  However, I do have one more bit of bad news for you.” He said.

“What?” Hotch asked, wearily.  

“Being off his suppressants and the tortue is most likely going to lead to a forced heat.  As he is currently medically sedated, I cannot ask him when his last heat was.  Do you happen to know?” He asked.  Hotch searched his memory but shook his head.  “I understand that Dr. Reid had known you were mates prior to today, but you just found out.  Is that correct?” Hotch nodded.  “It will not be an easy heat.  A heat forced by trauma is typically... very difficult.” He stated.  “And for a first heat shared with a mate...well, honestly, I’m not sure what will happen.” He said.

“I’ll do whatever he needs.” Hotch said, not taking his eyes of fReid.  

“I would suggest that at some point, you go home and make a nest.  I know that it's typically an Omega who makes up the nest, but Dr. Reid will simply not be up to the task.  Get bedding and clothing from both of you.  Make sure you have plenty to eat and drink.  He is going to be extremely needy, however, he will most likely not want to mate.  You will probably have to help him with toys designed for Omega’s.  Do you understand what I’m saying?” The doctor asked.  Hotch listened intently and knew exactly what the doctor was telling him.  He wasn’t going to be able to help Spencer in the traditional way but he would have to be there for the heat.  The thought ached, but he knew he’d do anything to help him.  

“I understand.” He said.

“There’s one last thing.” Dr. Harbatkin said, flipping through the chart.  “We found a large amount of a drug called Dilaudid in his system.  It’s a very addictive drug and withdrawal can often be difficult.  He may not have any withdrawal symptoms, he may have to be hospitalized.  I just need you to be prepared for that.” Hotch nodded again.  “Once Dr. Reid is awake, we will do one more exam and then, unless he has an objection, we will release him to your care tomorrow morning.  I would suggest that between now and then you get the nest set up.”

“Would you please send the BAU team in?” Hotch asked as the doctor got ready to leave.  

“I will, but let me be very frank with you Agent Hotchner.  YOU need to be the one to set up the nest.  Spencer will not react well to other smells.  Even smells of friends.” Hotch nodded again and thanked the doctor.  About five minutes later, the team came slowly into the room.  JJ gasped, seeing him on the bed and began to cry.

“This is all my fault.” She said.  

“It’s not your fault, JJ.” Hotch assured her.  Hotch explained to the team what the doctor had told him.  “I need to go to our houses but I don’t want to leave Spencer alone.  He most likely won’t wake for another few hours, because of how much medicine they gave him, but…”

“I’ll stay.” JJ immediately volunteered.  Gideon and Emily agreed to stay as well.

“Hotch, man, let me drive you to Reid’s and then to your place.  You aren’t in a position to drive.” Morgan told him.  Hotch wanted to fight him, but he was so tired and stressed, he knew that he’d be likely to get in an accident if he did. He nodded and followed Morgan.

Chapter Text

Chapter Two - Where You Belong

It's not where you come from

It's where you belong

Nothing I would trade

I wouldn't have it any other way 

You're surrounded

By love and you're wanted

So never feel alone

You are home with me

Right where you belong

Where You Belong: Kari Kimmel

It took a few hours to get to Reid’s and get things Hotch thought he might like or want.  He had never been in the man’s house before and it was so very Reid, that Hotch couldn’t help but smile.  Everything was organized and put together.  There were so many books, that even the multitude of bookcases couldn’t contain them.  He found a few of Reid’s favorite books and started a pile.  He took all of his bedsheets off the bed and took the pillows as well.  He looked in a closet and found a few other sets of linens.  He grabbed them and some towels.  He went through Spencer’s closet and picked out clothes that would be soft and comfortable.  

Once he had a large amount of things, he packed them up in garbage bags and put them in the back of his car.  He refused Morgan’s help carrying things, telling him what the doctor had said.  Once they finished and locked up, Morgan drove them to Hotch’s place.  Hotch had debated where to set up the nest, but from what he had read, a long time ago when he was still learning about Alpha and Omega mates, being in the Alpha’s house often felt secure for the Omega.

He had gone so long through his life, never finding his mate, he had honestly stopped looking.  He had always liked the young genius, but had honestly never stopped to think he was his mate.  For the first two years, he had thought Reid was a Beta.  Then he got hurt on a case and Hotch found out he was an Omega.  He never said anything, as it wasn’t any of his business.  If Reid wanted him to know, he would tell him.  But he knew how Omega’s were treated, especially in the world of law enforcement.  So he had kept quiet and never let on that he knew anything.

When he heard the gunshot, he’d thought for sure that he’d lost his youngest team member.  That they had arrived just a fraction of a second too late.  Then he saw Reid with the smoking gun and had rushed to him, as he would have done for any victim or any team mate that had been in the same situation. That first whiff, under the smell of blood and vomit and urine, had made his head spin.  He’d always wondered what people meant when they said they knew the second they smelled their mate.  It simply smelled like HIS.  

He couldn’t believe that Reid had never said anything.  Though, honestly, he could believe it.  Reid was quiet and so private.  He barely knew anything about the younger man.  They arrived at his home and he glanced at Morgan.  “I’m going to keep the car running.  You go in and fix up whatever you need.  By the way, Garcia is making a grocery run.  She’s a complete neutral, so she’ll slip in, put the stuff away and leave.  You will never know she’s been there.”

“Thank you.” Hotch said.  He got out of the car and brought Spencer’s stuff inside.  He had never crafted a nest before...not a real one anyway.  As a kid, he had of course crafted practice nests.  Now, he wasn’t really sure what to do or where to put it.  He finally decided on his room.  The master had an en suite, which would make things a little easier.  He pulled his mattress off his bed and pulled off the sheets as well.  Both of their bedding was piled on, as well as a few articles of each of their clothes.  He put down all six blankets he’d found at Spencer’s and the four he had as well.  He had a few partitions, bought years ago when he thought he’d mate and have pups.  They were sitting in the back of his closet now.  He set them up to conceal the nest and made sure there was at least one lamp within reach.  Then he unplugged all of his scent neutralizers around his home.  Feeling a little silly, but following his gut instinct, he laid down in the nest and rolled around a little.  Cheeks heated to bright red, he got up and closed the door, hoping to keep as much scent in as he could.  He also grabbed a fresh pair of clothes for Spencer.  Garcia hadn’t been there yet, but he flipped on the kitchen light for her and headed back to the car.  Morgan was on his cell.

“Yeah, he just got back.  We’re heading back to the hospital now.” He said, handing up and putting the car in reverse.

“What is it? What’s wrong? Is…” He couldn’t even finish his sentence.

“Reid is fine.  They think he’ll probably be waking up in the next hour or so, he’s starting to get restless.  Emily, JJ, and Gideon are all in the room with him.” Morgan assured him, pushing the speed limit to get back to the hospital quickly.  

Once they arrived, Morgan let Hotch off at the door before trying to find a parking space.  He knew Hotch was going crazy wanting to get back to Reid.  Hotch hurried into the room to find Spencer still out of it, but beginning to stir and moan slightly.  He rushed to his side and picked up his hand.  “I’m here, Reid.  I’m here.” He promised.

He didn’t realize that the others had left, but about fifteen minutes later, Reid moaned again, louder this time.  “Shh.” Hotch soothed and Reid’s head turned in his direction.  “It’s me, I’m right here.  It’s…” He stopped, unsure what to call himself.  Did he call himself Hotch, or Aaron, or Alpha.  “It’s me.” He settled on again.  Then suddenly, bleary eyes opened and met his own.

“You stayed.” Came the raspy voice.  Hotch broke out into a smile.

“I promised, didn’t I?” He told him, gently brushing his hair out of his face.  “It’s good to see those eyes.” 

“Can...can I scent you?” Reid asked, licking his dry lips.

“Yes, then we’ll call the nurse in.” He agreed, pressing the button to summon a professional.  He leaned down, putting his neck right in Spencer’s nose.  He heard the intake and felt the warm breath.  

“You’re really my mate...I didn’t just, imagine it...all those years ago?” He asked, still drugged to the gills.

“We’re really mates.” Hotch promised.  

“You found me...I knew you would.  I knew that you would find me.” He said, closing his eyes again.  The door opened and Amanda appeared.

“Dr. Reid, it’s wonderful to see you awake.” She said.  Spencer flinched and ducked his head, doing his best to hide behind Hotch.

“This is Amanda, she’s been with you the whole time, too.” Hotch explained.  

“I bet you’re awfully thirsty, aren’t you Dr. Reid?  Would you like some water?” She offered and Spencer tried to sit up, crying out.  “Whoa, be careful.  You have a lot of injuries.  I have a straw, here, your mate can hold the cup for you.”

Reid blushed when Hotch took the cup and brought the straw to his mouth.  He sipped once and it felt so good he drained the whole cup.  “More?” He asked and Hotch looked at Amanda.  She smiled and refilled the cup for him.  He drank slower this time.  Finally, he pulled away slightly.  “Thank you.” He said.

“How are you feeling?” Amanda asked.

“Like I got caught by an UnSub and tortured.” He said.  Hotch repressed the flinch he felt.

“Well, I’m going to call your doctor in, and he can go over some details with you.  Right now, how are you feeling? Are you in pain?” She asked.

“Not if I don’t move.” He said, after a moment.  “But I want to sit up.”

“We can raise the bed a little.  I don’t want to sit you up too far, too fast.” She agreed.  She pressed the button and Reid groaned as his body was shifted.  “How is that?” She asked, once he was in a semi-reclining position.

“Sore, but better.” He said.  “Thanks.”

“No problem.  I’ll call for your doctor.  If you need anything, just hit the buzzer and let me know.” She gently touched his shoulder and left the room, leaving Hotch and Reid alone once again.  

“Are...are you mad at me?” Reid asked, after a moment of silence.

“What? Why would I be mad at you?” Hotch asked, confused.

“Because I kept this from you...because I never told you.” He sniffled, tears welling up in his eyes.

“I’m a little confused, but I’m not angry.” He promised.  “Why DIDN’T you tell me?”

“I...I don’t know.” He admitted.  “At first, I was shocked.  I could smell you, I knew you were my mate but you had no reaction to me.  I thought…” His cheeks turned rosy.  “Well, you know, those stories in books or on TV about Alpha’s being able to scent ‘their’ Omega, even through blockers.” He took a shaky breath.  “Then, the time just got longer and longer and I felt...I don’t know.” He admitted.  “I don’t know why I never told you.  I’m so sorry.”

“I understand.  I wish I’d known, I wish we’d been together all those years, but I understand why.” Hotch moved in closer and reached up to Reid’s face.  “I’m so proud to call you mine.” He said.

“Even though I’m broken?” He asked, voice catching on a sob.

“You aren’t broken.  You’re a little tattered right now, but you aren’t broken.  You survived, Reid.  You survived and you let us know where you were.  You knew how to get a message to me even with him pointing a shotgun at you.  You are incredible.” Hotch said and Reid began to cry harder.  Hotch scooted gently on to the bed and held his mate close.  It felt incredible to hold him.  

Spencer leaned into him, indulging in something he’d wanted for so long, yet never let himself have before today.  His scent enveloped him and it felt so right.  “Thank you for understanding my message.”

There was another knock and the door opened to reveal Dr. Harbatkin.  He introduced himself, seemingly unphased by the two men cuddling together on the bed.  He explained to Reid what he had told Hotch earlier.  Reid flushed in the understanding of what was going to happen and what Hotch was being asked to do.  He made sure Reid was comfortable and let him know he’d be released in a couple of hours, once they’d had time to watch his vitals for a while.  He asked if Reid was willing to see the rest of the team and he agreed.

Not long after, Gideon, Morgan, Emily, JJ, and Garcia came into the room.  Garcia gave a little gasp, she was the only one who hadn’t seen him yet.  He was laying with his head resting on Hotch’s chest and Hotch’s arms around him.  In that position they were able to scent each other easily.  

“Hi.” Reid said, voice quiet, face almost buried in Hotch’s chest.  Hotch held him a little closer, not wanting to hurt him but still feeling protective, even though he knew the team would never hurt him.  It was gut instinct with new mates.  

“There you are, pretty boy.” Morgan finally broke the silence.  “It’s good to see you.”

“Thank you.” He replied.  “It’s ah, it’s good to see you, too.”

“How are you feeling?” JJ asked, moving in closer but moving slowly.  She finally reached them and brushed Spencer’s hair back, impressed when Hotch didn’t growl at her.  

Reid reached out his hand for her.  “It’s not your fault, JJ.  I’m okay, you all found me.  I’m okay and it’s not your fault.”  Tears slipped out of her eyes and she leaned down to hug him gently.  

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered.  

“It isn’t your fault.” He repeated.  The team stayed for about twenty minutes, chatting lightly.  Spencer was beginning to drift, he was so completely exhausted he could barely keep his eyes open.  Gideon noticed and led the rest of the team out, sending well wishes and speedy recovery to Reid.  They also made sure to voice their congratulations and sincere happiness that Hotch and Reid had found each other.  They didn’t want either of them to feel awkward.  

As the door closed behind them, Spencer’s body lay heavy on Hotch.  “‘M so tired.” He whispered.  “But…” He hesitated.

“What is it?” Hotch asked, running his hands up and down Reid’s back.

His voice cracked as tears started again.  “I’m afraid to go to sleep.  I’m afraid I’ll wake up back in that place.  That all this has been a dream.” He admitted.

“I’m not leaving you.  You sleep, and I’ll be here for you when you wake up.  Then I’ll take you home and we’ll never be apart again.” Hotch promised him.

Reid couldn’t fight his exhaustion anymore and slipped into sleep, held closely by his Alpha.  He prayed to whatever could hear him that he’d wake up the same way.

Chapter Text

Chapter Three - Gonna Let It Burn

And we gonna let it burn, burn, burn, burn

We gonna let it burn, burn, burn, burn

Gonna let it burn, burn, burn, burn

We gonna let it burn, burn, burn, burn

Burn: Ellie Goulding

It was all hurry up and wait getting ready to release Spencer.  Hotch had kept his promise and stayed right where he was, the entire time Reid slept.  Even though he had to go to the bathroom something awful, he just waited, content to hold his Omega and soothe him.  When Reid had finally woken up, Hotch got up, used the bathroom and got him some more water.  Doctors and nurses came in and out, doing some more tests and checking his vitals.  Dr. Harbatkin finally agreed that Reid was ready to be released, as long as Hotch would be with him.  

Spencer panicked about his clothes, but they were wrapped up in a clear plastic bag from the ER.  Once he was unhooked from all the IV’s and machines, Hotch helped him get dressed.  His face was red, not really wanting this to be the first image Hotch had of him, but Hotch was an absolute gentleman.  He didn’t stare (even though he wanted to) and simply helped him get into the soft clothes that he’d brought.  

Morgan had volunteered to drive them home, since Hotch’s car wasn’t here and he’d barely slept in almost 36 hours.  There was a small fight when the nurse insisted that Spencer ride out in a wheelchair, but a look of pleading from Hotch made him grumble and sit down.  Hotch had to help him into the car, then got in and sat next to him.  

The ride was quiet, Spencer was still in pain and slightly groggy from all the medicine he’d received.  Morgan drove them through a pharmacy to pick up all the medicine he’d been prescribed, then drove to Hotch’s house.  “Call if you need anything.” He said, as Hotch began to help Reid out of the car.  “I think Gideon is bringing your car by later, he said he’ll send you a text once it's dropped off.”

“Thanks Morgan.” Hotch said, his focus only on Reid.

“Thanks Derek.” Reid said.  “I appreciate it.”

“Be safe.  Take care of him.” He threw a mock glare at Hotch, who managed a smile in return.

Hotch placed a hand at the small of his back and let him up the few steps (slowly, painfully) and unlocked the door.  “Welcome home.” He said, quietly.

“I’ve never been here before.” Reid responded, looking around.  “I...ah...I didn’t think I could be in your house, surrounded by your smell and not…” He trailed off, looking embarrassed.  

“I understand.  I almost lost control yesterday, going into your apartment.  It smelled…” He leaned down slightly and took a huge sniff of Spencer’s hair.  “Perfect.” He said.

Reid smiled and batted him lightly on the chest.  “Sap.” He accused. 

“Your sap.” Hotch agreed.  “Let me show you around.  Dr. Harbatkin said you will probably start feeling heat symptoms within the next few hours and I want you to know the layout of the house.  They moved slowly, Hotch showing him the kitchen and finding that Garcia had gone way above and beyond in stocking everything they might need or want.  He showed him around the living room and the guest bedroom and bathroom, leaving his own bedroom for last.  “Dr. Harbatkin said I should...create a nest for you.” He said, cheeks flushing.  He hoped Spencer would like it.

As the door opened and Spencer looked into the room, his breath caught.  Hotch had done all of this for him.  After less than 24 hours of knowing they were mates, he had gone above and beyond to create a nest for him.  It was a beautiful nest, too.  It looked so comfortable and it smelled intoxicating.  The combination of their scents made Spencer’s eyes close as he drew a deep breath in.  Hotch noticed that apparently Garcia had been up here, too.  There was now a mini fridge that was filled with water bottles, juice and some fruit.  “Hotch..it’s…” He started.

“You can call me Aaron, if you want.” He said, softly.

Reid smiled, truly smiled for the first time since he’d been rescued.  He looked up at Hotch with adoration.  “Aaron.  It’s perfect.  Thank you.”

Hotch released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.  “Are you sure, because I can fix it if it’s not.” He told him.

“It’s the best nest I’ve ever seen.  I like the screens.” He indicated the privacy partitions he’d put up.  “You did amazing.  And…” He hesitated for a moment, then blushed.  “If I’m calling you Aaron, you should probably call me Spencer.”

“Spencer.” He agreed.

“And...uh...in the spirit of full disclosure, I feel like my heat is getting close.  It’s probably the smell of us.” He told him.

“When was the last time you had a heat?” Hotch asked.

Spencer looked away, his cheeks burning red.  He mumbled something, but Aaron didn’t understand him.  He gently took his chin and tilted it upward so their eyes met.  Reid looked away and swallowed hard.  “Four years.” He said, softly.

It took a minute for Hotch’s brain to catch up.  He’d gone into heat right when he’d joined the BAU.  After he’d met Hotch and realized that they were mates.  It had to have been incredibly painful and Hotch whined, thinking about Spencer suffering.  

“Ho...Aaron?” Spencer asked, after a moment.  “I’m...starting to cramp.  I need to lie down.” He said.

Aaron immediately moved him over to the nest and helped him settle down into it.  “What do you need?  What can I do for you?” He asked.

“Right now, just you.  Just...hold me?” He asked, tentatively. Hotch climbed into the nest, taking Spencer in his arms.  He placed a warm hand over Spencer’s middle.  He’d never been in a situation like this before.  He knew a forced heat was almost always traumatic and miserable, and all he wanted was to make Spencer as comfortable as possible.  “It hurts.” He admitted quietly, looking up at Aaron.

“I’m right here.” He promised, holding him tighter, as Reid started to groan.  “I...the hospital sent us home with aids.  They said we shouldn’t mate during this heat.  But I’m still going to be with you every second, okay?”

“That seems cruel.” Spencer said, breathing through the pain and starting to shiver as it began to really take hold.  He’d never been through a forced heat and he was terrified of what was going to happen.

“It’s not.  I want...no, I need to be here for you.  I’m your Alpha.  I’ll take care of you, however you need it.”

“Aaron…” He let out a little cry and tried to get even closer.  Every nerve and cell in his body hurt.  

“I’ve got you.” He promised.

Chapter Text

Chapter Four - I Will Be Here For You

I will be here for you

Somewhere in the night

Somewhere in the night

I'll shine a light for you

Somewhere in the night

I'll be standing by

I will be here for you

I Will Be Here For You: Michael W. Smith

It was 48 miserable hours of forced heat.  However bad it was for Aaron, it was a thousand times worse for Reid.  He cried, he yelled, he was sick and Aaron never left his side.  As much as it hurt him to use toys to help try to satisfy the heat, he knew in his heart that neither of them wanted their first heat to be like this.  So he stamped down his urges and wants and just made sure Spencer was taken care of.  He held him, they scented each other, Aaron brought him food, water and juice.  He helped him bathe and did everything in his power to make him as comfortable as possible.  

When it finally passed, they were both exhausted.  The room smelled rank and they were both sweaty and gross.  Hotch let Reid shower first, letting him out of his sight for the first time since they had gotten home.  It pulled on his heart a little to let him go but he knew that he had to.  He got all of the nest materials and threw them in the washer while Spencer took a long shower.

Finally feeling cleaner than he had in almost a week, Spencer shut off the water and stepped out of the shower.  He couldn’t believe how amazing Aaron had been during his heat.  Never once indicating that he needed something, he simply cared for Spencer.  He didn’t think he’d ever been taken care of like before in his entire life.  He had cared for himself, while growing up, and because he went to college so young, he never really thought about what it was like to be coddled and loved.  Loved.  That was the word, he had never felt more loved before in his life, and the feeling was more than reciprocated.  He loved Aaron.  He doubted that many Alpha’s could have had the willpower to have finally found their Omega, then stay with them through a heat and not helped themselves, but Aaron hadn’t done anything but take care of him.

He ran the towel over his hair and stepped into clean pajama pants.  He glanced down at his arm and the track marks that were left from Tobias.  A sudden need went through him.  He hadn’t craved or needed any drugs while he was in heat, his body chemistry was already off kilter.  But now, now he needed the feel and the relief they brought.  He knew that the clothes from when they found him were still in a plastic bag and they hadn’t been touched.  He didn’t know if the Dilaudid was still in there or not.  He threw on a long sleeve shirt, even though Hotch had already seen all his scars.

He moved back to the bedroom, where Hotch had already put the mattress back on the bed frame and was just finishing making up the bed with clean sheets.  The windows were open and the fan was turned on.  It smelled a thousand times better already.  “Shower’s yours.” He said.  Aaron moved over to him, gently placing his hands on his arms and looking into his eyes.

“You look amazing.  How do you feel?” He asked.

“Better.  Much better.  You…” He paused, blushing.  “You were perfect.” He admitted quietly and was rewarded by seeing Hotch blush as well.  He leaned in, wanting a kiss from his mate.  “Will you kiss me now?” He asked.  

Aaron smiled so hard it hurt and leaned in the rest of the way.  He captured Spencer’s lips in a firm, but gentle kiss.  Spencer leaned into him, moaning softly at finally getting his first kiss from his mate.  It was better than he’d ever dreamed of.  Before it went too far, Aaron pulled back and Spencer pouted.  “Let me shower and then we can sit down and talk, okay?” He asked.

“Fine.” He said, smiling to show he wasn’t truly upset.  Aaron pecked his lips quickly, then headed into the bathroom and started the water.  Once he heard Aaron get in, Spencer began to look around.  He found the bag quickly and, with heart pounding, checked the pockets.  It was still there.  The ER staff hadn’t checked it and hadn’t removed it.  He moved as quickly as he could, wanting to get this done before Aaron came out.  He had syringes for various medicines that he was given after leaving the ER.  He grabbed one, drew up a dose, and quickly plunged the needle into his arm.

It didn’t take long for the drugs to start coursing through him.  He put everything away, where it wouldn’t be found, then laid down on the newly made up bed.  He forgot everything as the drug worked it's magic.  When Aaron came out of the shower and saw Reid laying on the bed with his eyes closed, he wasn’t surprised.  Spencer and his body had been through hell and he had known he was going to need a lot of rest, once the heat was over.  He finished cleaning up the few things he’d left behind, switched out the bedding to the dryer, then made some food.  He ate in his bedroom, so he could keep an eye on Spencer.  He also had several meal options for whenever he woke up.  However, the doctor had told him that Spencer would probably sleep a lot once they got through the heat.  His body needed to recover and sleep was the best way to do that.

He drank a bottle of water, then shifted the covers and climbed into bed with Reid.  He wasn’t sure that Reid would want to share a bed so soon, but he was the one who had gotten in there in the first place.  He settled down, under the covers, and moved in to hold Spencer.  He left his grip somewhat loose, so that if Spencer woke up, he wouldn’t panic thinking he was still being held captive.  

Over the next few days, Aaron grew more and more concerned.  Reid slept constantly and he was impossible to wake up.  He insisted that he didn’t want to see anyone yet, that he just wasn’t ready to see their friends.  He was quiet and withdrawn and sullen.  Some part of Aaron knew that something was wrong, but he had never really known Spencer.  He had never spent time with him outside of work or work-related outings.  He was agitated and jumpy.  He called and talked to Dr. Harbatkin who said it was most likely PTSD from being held captive.  

Three days after Aaron had become concerned, he walked into the bathroom to see something that made him sick to his stomach.  Reid was on the floor, a belt tightened around his arm and a needle in his skin.  “Spencer?” He asked, so completely shocked that all he could do was stare.  

Spencer panicked and the needle fell, causing him to start bleeding.  “It's not...it’s not what it looks like.” He said, trying to get up but a wave of dizziness kept him down.  He was using 4 times a day now and the drugs barely left his system..

“It looks like you’re shooting up in my bathroom.” He said, never taking his eyes off Spencer.

“It’s just, it’s medicine…” He tried to deny it.  He couldn’t even look Hotch in the face.

“Don’t lie to me.” He said, his voice low and cold.  “What is it?  Heroin?”

There was a long, miserable, drawn out silence and finally Spencer spoke.  He was staring at the floor, feeling the drugs take over him.  “Dilaudid.” He finally confessed.

Hotch stood there for a moment, staring at him.  How did he miss this?  How did he not know that his mate was suffering so bad that he had turned to drugs.  How did he not know that his mate hadn’t been ill, he’d been HIGH.  Finally, he dropped to his knees and pulled Spencer into his arms.  “I’ve got you.” He said, the only thing he could think of to say.

“Aaron.” Spencer said, starting to cry.  “It...it hurts so much.  I can’t stop.  I…” He stopped to gasp for air and cling harder to his mate.  “I don’t know how to stop.”

“How long?” He asked, his voice softer now, rocking his sobbing mate.

“T-Tobias was the one who started giving it to me.  I’ve been taking it since my heat ended.” He told him.  Part of him felt ill at knowing that Hotch knew his dirtiest secret, but part of him was relieved.  Aaron would help him.  Aaron would make it better.

“How many times a day?” 

Spencer winced, but answered truthfully.  “Four.  I’m...I’m up to four.” He said.  

Aaron let Spencer go, even though he cried out for him.  He gently undid the belt, picked up the discarded needle and bottle and put them to the side.  He took a washcloth and gently wiped away the blood that had been spilled.  Then he took another washcloth and wiped his face.  “We’re going to get through this, together.  No more, Spencer, that was it.  That was your last one.  Tell me where the drugs are.” He said.  His voice was firm and serious, but so gentle it made his heart hurt.  He was the biggest fuck-up and Aaron just kept being kind.  He didn’t deserve to have a mate like this.  He hadn’t realized he’d been talking out loud until Aaron took his face in his hands.  

“We deserve each other, Spencer.  I am yours and you are mine.  We take care of each other.  Right now, you need taking care of and I am going to do it.  Where are the drugs, baby?” He asked.  Spencer cried as he told Hotch where his various stashes were.  Hotch easily lifted him off the ground, already able to tell that Spencer had little coherent time left.  The drugs were coursing through him and he was checking out.  

He placed Spencer in bed and covered him gently, laying a soft kiss on the other man’s forehead.  Then he checked the places Spencer had told him and threw out everything.  He searched the entire house, but it seems Spencer had been honest and had told him where all of it was.  He did an internet search to find out about Dilaudid and the withdrawal process.  He knew that he should contact a professional, but if he did it would go on Spencer’s FBI record.  He wanted so badly to spare him.  

He knew that the next 72 hours were going to be hell, but he gathered up the supplies he thought he’d need and eventually made it back to the bedroom.  He knew that from Spencer’s confession, he was shooting up everytime he woke up from the Dilaudid.  He wondered if he should contact any of their co-workers, maybe JJ, but in the end decided that for now, it was best if it was just the two of them.  He glanced over at his mate, high out of his mind and he hurt for him.  They would get through this.  Aaron would get them through this if it was the last thing he ever did.

Chapter Text

Chapter Five - Superman’s Got Nothing On Me

I'm only one call away

I'll be there to save the day

Superman got nothing on me

I'm only one call away

One Call Away - Charlie Puth

Aaron thought he was prepared, but he was nowhere near ready to face the reality of drug withdrawal.  Spencer woke slowly, massaging his temples.  He looked up at Aaron.  “What happened?” He asked, his mouth feeling like cotton.

Aaron handed him a bottle of water.  “What do you remember?” He asked.

Spencer had to think for a minute, then he paled.  “You...you cau-.” He couldn’t say the word.  “You found me in the bathroom.  I was…” He couldn’t look up.

“You were shooting up.” Aaron agreed.  “I got rid of it all.  Everything you told me about and I searched the entire house.  It’s gone and you are done.  I’ll be here for you through the whole process.”

“It’s not going to be pretty.” Reid warned.  He looked so ashamed of himself.

“I know what’s going to happen.  I’ve been researching since you passed out earlier.  This isn’t your fault.” Aaron told him.  “This is HIS fault.  You are going to be fine.  We’re going to get through this together.”

“What if…” He said, his voice soft.  “What if you don’t want me after you see me screaming, begging and vomiting because I was so weak I couldn’t-” He was working his way up to a rant and Aaron leaned in to kiss him.

“I will always want you.  You think I’m never going to get sick? You think I’m never going to have problems?  If it were me, would you just walk away because I was sick?” He asked.

“No!  As long as you’ll have me, I’ll be here.” He said, finally understanding what Hotch was telling him.  “I’m so sorry, Aaron.” He said.  

Hotch got them both out of bed and helped Spencer down to the kitchen.  He made him a very light meal of chicken broth and water.  He understood that this would be even more difficult without professional help, but he was going to protect his mate.  Within a few hours, he could see the first signs of withdrawal.  Spencer was anxious and restless.  He got up and began to pace around the house.  He was still moving slow, due to the injuries he’d gotten from Tobias.  

“Spencer?  Is there something I can do for you?” Hotch finally called after watching him pace for about two hours.

“Yeah, get me some Dilaudid.” He snapped, then threw his hand over his mouth.  “I’m sorry!” He said.  He began to itch at his arms and continued pacing.  “I just...what if we weaned me off of it?  Give me a little dose, then less and less until I’m off completely?” He asked, desperate for the drugs and the mind numbing escape they provided.  Everything seemed too much.  The lights were too bright, the sounds of the neighborhood too loud and Aaron too close.  

“We can’t do that, Spencer.” Aaron said, patiently.  He had known that Spencer was going to ask for drugs and that the requests were going to get harsher as his withdrawal got worse.  

“Why not?  They say that going cold turkey isn’t good for you.  We SHOULD wean me off.” He said, huffing and scratching his arms again.

“First of all, all of the drugs are gone.  There’s none left in the house.  Second, I’m not a doctor, I can’t figure out how to wean you off appropriately.” He said.

“I’M a doctor, Aaron!  I could figure it out.” He snapped.  

“There’s a reason doctors don’t treat themselves.” He responded, keeping his voice calm and steady.  There was no reason to argue that he wasn’t a medical doctor.  He could be if he’d been so inclined.

Spencer grunted in frustration and spun around, leaving the room.  Aaron let him go, knowing that he needed to let Spencer be mad, but see that Aaron wasn’t going to give in.  It took another hour for Spencer to come back to the living room where Aaron was sitting on the couch, ostensibly reading a book but actually watching Spencer check all the places drugs might be.

“Aaron…” He called, desperately.  Aaron immediately put his book down and patted the spot on the couch next to him.  Spencer leaned into him, sniffing him hard and Aaron could feel tremors starting.  “Help.  Please.  I need something.” He begged.

“You don’t need it.  Your brain is lying to you.  You are so strong and so brave.  I’m right here with you and I’m not going anywhere.”

“It feels like I’m going to crawl out of my skin.” He pleaded.  

“I know it does.  Would you like a warm bath?  I’ll draw one and even soak with you.  You can hold onto me and know you’re winning against the drugs.” He offered.  Spencer wanted Dilaudid but a bath with Aaron sounded nice so he nodded, trying not to start crying again.  Aaron stood up and offered his hand to Spencer and they walked together to the bathroom.  Aaron drew a bath that was the perfect temperature.  It wasn’t too hot or too cold and it helped settle the itch that had plagued him for the last couple of hours.

He sat, leaning against Aaron and realized that this was almost perfect.  Other than the withdrawal symptoms, this was what he had wanted since he’d first met Hotch.  Just to be held and taken care of by the older man.  He was everything Spencer had wanted and he couldn’t believe he’d screwed up so badly.  He was getting what he wanted and putting Aaron through hell.  He felt like the worst Omega on the planet.  

“I’m so sorry, Aaron.  I’m sorry I’m doing this to you.” He told him.  

“Don’t be sorry, baby.  It’s all going to be fine.  We’re going to get through this, and everything else that comes up in our lives.  I’m here forever, Spencer.” He promised, gently massaging his scalp.  Spencer moaned in pleasure, leaning back into the massage.  When the water finally started to cool, then Aaron drained the tub, wrapped a towel around his waist and helped Spencer get up.  He wrapped him completely in a warm towel and gently rubbed the water off his skin.  He led Spencer to the bed and sat him down, finding clothes that he knew would be easy to get off when the sweats and the nausea started.  Lovingly, he dressed his mate, then dressed himself.  “Lay down, go to sleep.  It’s going to get worse before it gets better.”

“I know.  187 IQ, remember…” He mumbled, sleepily.  Aaron pulled him into his chest and rubbed his back as Spencer drifted off to sleep.  He didn’t remember drifting off himself, but he was awakened when Spencer bolted up and tried to get out of the bed.  “Sick!” He cried, clapping his hand over his mouth.

Before he could even react, Spencer was out of bed and on his knees in front of the toilet, losing everything in his stomach.  Aaron wiped the sleep from his eyes and hurried to his side.  He was shaking like a leaf and gagging.  He kneeled next to him, rubbing his back and getting his hair out of his face.  “Get it all out.  I’m right here.” He promised.

Spencer dry heaved for the next fifteen minutes, crying and holding his stomach.  Aaron knew how bad it had to hurt and he focused on comforting him.  When it seemed like he was finally done, Aaron got him water and wet down two washcloths.  He gave one to Spencer to wipe his mouth and took the other one and wiped away the sweat and tears on his face.  Then he gently wiped the back of his neck, which was covered in a sheen of sweat.

“It hurts, oh God, it hurts.  Please, just give me a little.  Just give me something to take the edge off.” He begged.

“I can’t, Spencer.” He said calmly, waiting for the outburst.  He wasn’t surprised when it came quickly.

“Fuck you!  You’re trying to kill me!  Just give me a small dose - doing this cold turkey is going to KILL me.” He yelled.

“No it's not.” He responded, keeping his voice steady, even though he wanted to cry.  “I know it hurts, it won’t last forever.

Suddenly, Spencer leaned over the toilet again, dry heaving and sobbing.  It only lasted a few minutes before he fell back into Aaron’s arms.  He couldn’t do anything but cry, turning his face into Aaron’s chest and holding on tightly.  “Do you think you can get back in bed?” Aaron asked, after about ten minutes of simply holding him.  

Spencer shook his head, weakly.  The vomiting and the shakes had left him completely drained all of energy.  He was still trembling when Aaron scooped him up and carried him to their bed.  He set him down and Spencer looked up to his worried brown eyes.  “I’m sorry.” He said, again, hiccuping and rubbing his stomach.

“Don’t be sorry.  Just focus on getting through this.” Aaron soothed him.  As he lay there, the trembling got worse and worse until Spencer was shaking so hard his teeth chattered.  Sweat poured off him and cramps took over his stomach and body.

The next 24 hours Hotch honestly thought that they weren’t going to make it through.  He almost gave in and took Spencer to the hospital as the withdrawal worsened.  Spencer screamed and threatened and even tried to get out of the house to go find Dilaudid.  He cried and shook and threw up so much Aaron wasn’t sure how he was still breathing.  It was the worst thing he had ever experienced.  Every ounce of his being screamed to protect and take care of his mate, but there was nothing he could do except be there for him.  He cleaned up after him, let him yell and rant and scream and held him close.

He knew that withdrawal was going to be bad, but some part of him expected that the Spencer Reid he knew was going to shine through.  The one who was never affected and kept himself calm and collected at all times.  After the first 72 hours had passed, things started to calm down.  He was still going through the withdrawal, but things were getting better and he began to look like himself again.

Aaron did what he could to take care of his young mate.  It broke his heart to see Spencer suffer like he was.  He pushed down the voice at the back of his head, telling him that it was Spencer’s fault for not admitting that he was struggling.  But he knew that he couldn’t blame him for this.  Tobias had injected the drugs and tortured him.  Then when he was found, Aaron figured out they were mates.  He spent nearly a day in the ER, then through a forced heat where he was with his mate, but his mate couldn’t help him.  It was no wonder that the drugs Tobias had given him to send him out of his mind were appealing.  While Aaron was reeling from the fact that they were mates, Spencer had been to hell and back.  

On day six of being clean, he began to finally come out of it and become himself again.  It took another four days for the symptoms to completely clear up.  Spencer was mortified and humiliated, not only that he had succumbed to drugs, but that his brand new mate had to be the one to deal with him.

He couldn’t believe that he’d finally gotten Aaron and that their entire time together had consisted of Aaron taking care of him, like he was a small child.  Finally, when he was feeling much better he convinced Aaron to take him back to his apartment.  He realized he had more things than he thought he did, mainly books.  They called their friends and instantly, they appeared to help them pack up and move Spencer into Aaron’s house completely.  They spoke to the landlord and explained they found their mates.  It was a common enough occurrence that it was typically in the lease that a lease could be broken if mates were found.  He took one last look at his empty apartment, closed the door and locked it and didn’t look back.

Chapter Text

Chapter Six - Feeling Good

It's a new dawn

It's a new day

It's a new life

For me

And I'm feeling good

Feeling Good: Nina Simone

They went back to work at the same time.  Because of the revelation that they were mates, Aaron was granted as much time off as Spencer, so they could be together to bond.  Obviously, there had been a lot of things happening that no one else knew about, but when Spencer felt healthy enough (and had been cleared by a doctor) to go back to work, Aaron went back as well.  First thing they did was head to Erin Strauss’ office to update their paperwork to reflect their standing as a mated pair.

Then Hotch called a BAU meeting.  Obviously, everyone was aware of what had happened, but he wanted to have an actual meeting about how things were going to work (and how they would be treating Spencer).  It had been thought that Reid was a Beta, and learning that he was an Omega and Hotch’s mate had been a big shock.  No one had reacted to it at the hospital, because they were so worried about Reid, but Aaron wanted to ensure that they wouldn’t be treating him any differently from here on out.  

When Hotch and Reid walked into the conference room, they were both surprised to see ‘Welcome Back’ banners, balloons, and a ton of baked goods covering the table.  JJ was the first one to Reid to hug him.  Even though they had seen each other during the time off, the two of them were thick as thieves.  “Welcome back, we missed you guys.” She said, gently touching his cheek.  She was the only one who knew about the addiction and she ran her finger softly over the dark circles under his eyes.

“Hey boss, hey pretty boy!” Morgan greeted, also hugging Reid.  “It’s been boring here without you guys.  Glad to have you back.”

Each member of the team had a hug for Reid and a handshake or hug for Hotch.  They all settled down and dug into the assorted goodies that were spread across the table.  Hotch couldn’t help getting a cup of coffee for Reid before settling down himself.  The team noticed, but said nothing, hiding smiles behind brownies and cupcakes.  Once they had eaten and chatted about nonsense, Hotch stood up and faced the group.  Automatically, they all straightened seeing him in “boss mode”.

“Thank you, all of you, for setting this up.  We both appreciate it.” He said, as Reid nodded, blushing lightly and looking around his co-workers...no, his family.  “I did want to talk about a few things while we’re all here.”

They nodded and kept their attention on him.  “Obviously, a lot of things have happened over the last month.” Spencer tried to keep his breathing even.  He knew Hotch wasn’t going to tell them about the addiction and the withdrawal, yet his heart beat fast thinking about it.  “I would hope that I don’t have to tell any of you that the knowledge of Reid’s status of Omega, and not Beta, should not change anything.  You will still treat him the same as you did before.  He is to be respected and treated as an equal.  And his status is not known across the Bureau, so I would request that you keep that information confidential.” He waited for nods from everyone.  “Spencer and I have decided to keep our relationship private.  Only those that need to know will be told.  Strauss was told this morning, simply to update our statuses, but that will be all.  We both expect you all to be discreet and not to reveal our secret.”

He watched everyone’s faces.  “He’s not ashamed.” Reid finally spoke up.  “I know that’s how it seems, but think about our jobs.  We need to not give an UnSub anymore reason to go after one of us.  If our relationship is common knowledge, it will be easy to manipulate us.  Not just UnSub’s...the LEO’s we work with might not take us seriously if they know we’re together.”

“We understand.” Emily finally responded.  “We just want you guys to be happy.  We want you to know that you don’t need to be ashamed around us.  We support you guys.”

Hotch let his face soften as he looked over at Spencer.  “We know that.  Thank you.” He said.  JJ’s phone rang and she got up to step out of the room to answer it.  Five minutes later, she came back in, her face serious.

“Welcome back, guys.  We’ve got a case.” She said.  

******

In less than three hours, the team was assembled on the plane looking over the files that JJ and Garcia had gathered for them.  For Spencer, it felt so good to get back into a case and not think about what his life had been like for the last weeks.  A moment of cold fear went through him as he thought about being taken by another UnSub, but he couldn’t live his life afraid.  His work was way too important to him.  He pushed that thought, and the thought of getting high, out of his head and focused back in on what Gideon was saying.

They landed and split up.  It took Hotch a moment, knowing that he SHOULD send Reid to the station with Prentiss to start a geographic profile, but his instincts told him that Reid should come with him so he could keep an eye on him.  A quick glance at Reid, before they deplaned told him that he wasn’t being quite as subtle as he thought.  “I’ll be fine.” He promised.  

“I love you.” He said, quietly.  They leaned in and shared a soft kiss before heading their separate ways.  It was harder than he would have thought, having to pretend that they weren’t mates as they worked the case.  Hotch constantly had to re-evaluate his decisions to make sure he was making correct choices.  Add to that the fact that this was the first time that Spencer had been out of his sight for more than a few minutes at a time since he’d discovered they were mates.  He wondered how Spencer had done it for all those years, watching him walk into danger and knowing that he might not come out.  Knowing that they might never be together.  

It took a couple of days and a few wrong profiles before they finally figured out what was happening and were able to get an accurate profile.  Within ten hours of completing the correct profile, they had found their UnSub, arrested him and finished up the paperwork with the locals.  It was nearly midnight and Hotch made the decision that they would stay the night and head back to DC in the morning.  Everyone was exhausted, none more so than Reid who was still recovering physically from the torture and the withdrawal.  He looked dead on his feet and the others didn’t look much better.

“Okay, everyone back to the hotel.  Wheels up at noon, tomorrow.  Take the morning, sleep in and relax.  If you want to meet for brunch at the hotel, we’ll meet at 10:30.  Make sure you have everything - we’ll go right from breakfast to the plane and head home.  Don’t even look at paperwork until we’re in the sky tomorrow.” He ordered his weary team.  There were no arguments as they traipsed back to the hotel and retreated to their rooms.  

Typically, Hotch shared a room with Gideon, though he’d shared a room with every member of his team at one point or another.  However, when he set up room assignments, he’d obviously placed him and Spencer in the same room.  They hadn’t done more than come in, collapse to sleep, shower and head back out.  He didn’t expect that tonight would be much different, given how tired they all were, but he was looking forward to holding Spencer without the thought of the UnSub on his mind.  

Reid opened the door, let them both in, then surprised him by turning the second it was closed and capturing his mouth in a hard kiss.  “Do you know how amazing you look when you storm in and catch the bad guy?” He asked, pressing himself into Aaron’s body.

“How amazing do I look?” He asked, with a smile.

“Jesus, I wanted you to take me right there.” Spencer admitted and Hotch couldn’t help but laugh.  Spencer stepped back, looking offended.  “What?” He asked.

“My shy, quiet genius isn’t as shy or quiet as I’m used to.” He said and then Reid relaxed and laughed, too.  

“Then you were standing there, giving orders and everyone just listens and obeys.  It’s so…” He didn’t finish his thought, just leaned in and kissed him again.  “Take me to bed, Agent Hotchner?” He asked, looking up through his lashes.

“We haven’t…” He started.

“I want to.  Please? Don’t you want me?” He asked and Aaron groaned, giving him a playful push.

“Don’t even go there.  You know I want you.  You know how bad I want you, but is this really how you want our first time to be?  Exhausted and in a hotel after catching an UnSub?” He asked.

“I don’t know, I think it's kind of hot.  We chased down the bad guy, caught him and put him away, hopefully forever.  Now you throw me on the bed and take me.” He said, raising an eyebrow.  Hotch laughed again and Reid gave him an impish grin.  

“My God, I really love you.” He said.  “How about we shower together and then tomorrow, when we get home, I’ll make love to you, in our home, in our bed.” He suggested.  “That way I can take care of you, pamper you like you deserve.”

“You really are a sap.” Spencer said, but his eyes were so filled with love and adoration.  “Okay, let’s get that shower and get some sleep.” He agreed.  “But tomorrow, I expect ravishing.” He said, throwing a lusty look behind him as Aaron watched him walk to the bathroom, shedding his clothes.

Chapter Text

Chapter Seven - As I Lay Me Down

Now, as I lay me down to sleep

This I pray

That you will hold me dear

As I Lay Me Down: Sophie B. Hawkins

Everyone was at the restaurant in the hotel for breakfast the next morning.  Aaron wanted to hold Reid’s hand and rub his back, but they had agreed that they needed to keep their relationship private, especially while they were on cases.  They all stored their bags at the front desk and sat down at a table large enough to accommodate all of them.  Large piles of food were ordered and they enjoyed each other’s company as they stole bites of each other’s food and indulged.  Once they had finished, Aaron told them the Bureau would pick up the tab and paid the bill.

They got their bags, got into the cars provided for them and headed to the airport.  By noon, they were all in the plane, buckled in and sleepy from the amount of food they had eaten.  Only Spencer and Hotch pulled out paperwork and worked on the flight home.  Gideon glanced at his, then put it back in his briefcase before closing his eyes and napping on the flight.  They were picked up by agents and brought back to Quantico.

“Okay, reports are due in 48 hours.  We’re on stand-down, orders from Strauss.  Go home, relax, get your work done and I’ll see you all on Monday.” Hotch debriefed them all.  They collected their various things and all headed out.  Spencer had sat down at his desk to finish up the paperwork that was almost complete.

“I’ll be home, soon.  I’m almost done and I want to finish up.” Spencer told Aaron, when he felt the other man behind him.  

“Sounds good.  I’ll see you there.” Hotch agreed, resisting the urge to kiss him silly.  He headed out and decided he was going to set everything up for when Spencer got home.  He stopped and bought a bouquet of daisies, Spencer’s favorite flowers.  He bought lube and condoms and some rose petals.  When he got home, he spread the petals all over the bed and put the flowers in the entrance, where Spencer would see them when he walked in.  Then he changed into a robe and settled on the bed to wait for his Omega.

It didn’t take too long for Hotch to hear the door open and he felt his breath catch.  He couldn’t wait for the chance to really be with his mate for the first time.  Just a few minutes later, he heard Spencer on the stairs and then he appeared in the bedroom door, nose buried in the flowers and smiling.  “How did you know these are my favorite?” He asked, then he caught sight of Aaron in the bed, covered in rose petals.

“I’m a profiler.  It’s my job to notice things.” He teased.  

“Aaron, this is beautiful.” He said, with such sincerity.

“Well, get undressed and get in here.  I distinctly remember you telling me you wanted to be ravished.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows.  Spencer laughed and Aaron’s heart melted at the sound.

Spencer took his time, putting on a little show for Aaron.  He unbuttoned each button carefully then pulled the shirt off.  He undid his belt, then turned around and shimmied out of his pants, giving his ass a playful wiggle that made Hotch laugh and gasp simultaneously.  He left his boxers on and crawled across the bed, attacking Hotch’s lips with his own.  

Hotch reached up and wrapped his hand around the back of his head, pulling him close and reaching out, licking the seam of Spencer’s lip when he suddenly pulled back, flushing and breathing hard.  “I thought I was told under no uncertain terms that I was to ravish you.” Hotch teased, but Spencer blushed harder, pulling back and sitting down.

“I...I need to tell you something.” He admitted.  Hotch immediately looked at him in concern.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.  

“I…” He took a deep breath.  “I’ve never…” He tried, then he looked up into Hotch’s supporting and calming brown eyes.  “I’ve never...been with anyone before.”

It took Hotch by surprise.  Especially from the way he had been behaving yesterday and even just a few minutes ago, he had assumed that Reid wasn’t a virgin.  However, he knew that he was young and that his years in high school and college, he was so young.  He was recruited to the FBI right out of college and trained specifically for the BAU.  It made sense, but he was still surprised by the admission.

“Okay.” He said, slowly, working through all of the implications.  

“I don’t know how to be...what you want or need.” He said, somewhat sadly.  

“You are perfect exactly how you are.  If you haven’t done this before, it’s fine.  We can wait or we can do this slowly.  I’ll take care of you, Omega.” He promised.

Reid swallowed the lump in his throat and tried not to whine at the possessiveness in Aaron’s voice.  “I know you will, but I’m…” He swallowed hard, again.  “I’m nervous.”

“I’m glad you told me.  We’ll go nice and slow...or…” he paused.  “Spencer, we don’t have to do this right now.  I won’t be upset.  We can wait.” He told him.

“I don’t want to wait, I want to do this, with you, now.” He said.  “Will you show me?” He asked, his voice soft.

Hotch couldn’t help but moan at the thought of being Spencer’s first, at showing him everything and leading and guiding him through.  The thought was incredible.  “I’ll show you everything.” He promised.  “Come here.” He said, leaning back and beckoning to Spencer.  Much more shy this time, Spencer approached and resumed kissing his mate.  He was slower this time, using his tongue to run across Spencer’s closed lips, until he opened with a gasp and Hotch took the opportunity to push his tongue into the other’s mouth.

He was content to explore while Reid settled down and got used to the new feeling.  After a few moments, he began to return his affections.  He was shy and unsure and it was so endearing and so incredibly hot.  Finally, he pulled back to catch his breath and looked into Aaron’s eyes, seeing nothing but love and want.

They continued to make out, exploring each other’s mouths and Aaron began moving down his neck, licking and sucking and pulling small sounds out of Spencer.  He moved back up to kiss him again, and took Reid’s hand carefully in his own.  He broke the kiss only for a second, to make eye contact with him and then gently moved Reid’s hand down to his own length.  He was hard under his boxers, straining against the material.  

Reid gasped as his hand connected and looked back at Aaron, his eyes clearly unsure.  Aaron smiled at him and leaned in to kiss him again.  He kept his hand over Spencer’s for a few more moments, then moved his hand to Reid’s cock.  He gasped harder and his eyes flew wide open when Aaron touched him.  It thrilled him to know that no one had ever seen this before.  How beautiful and open he was.  Their kissing intensified and Reid began to grow a little less nervous.

They rubbed each other, over the fabric of their boxers and moaned into each other’s mouths.  Aaron finally pulled him closer, letting their dicks touch and Spencer all but yelled, throwing his head back.  Aaron attacked his neck with vigor and Spencer was panting.  “Wait!” He said, pulling back and Aaron immediately stopped.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, realizing how wrecked Spencer looked.  His lips were swollen and his pupils were blown.  He was so gorgeous; Aaron had no idea how he’d gotten so lucky.

“I just...I was getting close.” He admitted, shyly.  “I don’t want to...not yet.  I want you to be in me.” 

“Jesus, Spencer.” Aaron said.  “You are incredible, do you know that?  I don’t know how I got so lucky to have you as my mate, but I am so glad.  You are beautiful and responsive and perfect.  You are absolutely perfect.” He said and Reid turned so dark red that Hotch had to laugh.  “Come here, my little love.” He encouraged, flipping Reid over and pulling off his boxers.  His mouth watered at the sight of his perfect, pert little ass lying on display.  “I won’t hurt you.  I promise that I won’t hurt you, but you have to tell me if something is wrong.” He made him promise.

“I will.  I’m ready.  Please, Aaron…” He all but begged.  He leaned down and kissed him again, while reaching for the nightstand where he had stashed the lube and condoms.  Reid looked up and saw what Aaron was reaching for.  “Could...could we…” He couldn’t finish his sentence.

“What is it, baby?” Aaron asked, rubbing his back all the way down to massage his ass and Reid pressed up into him.

“No condoms?” He asked, quietly.  

“You are going to kill me, you know that?” Aaron said, leaning down to kiss him hungrily.  “I’m clean.  If you want no condoms, it's fine with me.” He said.

“No condoms.” He said, breathlessly.  He heard the snick of the bottle opening and his heart rate picked up and he got nervous again.  He knew Aaron wouldn’t hurt him on purpose and his body was designed for this, but he was still nervous.

“Relax, I’m going to take care of you.” Aaron promised, rubbing a lube covered finger through his crack.  “I won’t hurt you. I’m going to make you feel so good, little love.”

It was a strange sensation, but Aaron didn’t hurt him.  It only took a few minutes and Spencer was feeling so good, slick starting to leak out of him.  Aaron took his time, adding fingers and stretching him.  It felt incredible and Spencer kept losing his breath.  “I want to turn over.  I want to see you.” Spencer begged, trying to roll over.  It would be easier on him the other way, but Aaron understood.  He made sure to keep eye contact with him, trying to convey every emotion that he had for the man underneath him.  He kissed him hungrily.  

“Are you ready?” He asked, his voice dark and husky.  Spencer could only nod, his eyes tracking Aaron’s.  Aaron shifted around a little, put Spencer’s leg over his shoulder and gently pressed in.  Spencer gasped and grabbed at the sheets, but Aaron grabbed his hands.  “You need me to stop?”  He shook his head no, but arched up trying to get closer to Hotch’s mouth.  Aaron understood and connected their lips again.

“Aaron…” Spencer pleaded.  “Make me yours.”

“You’re already mine.  You’ve always been mine and you always will.” He promised.  He began slowly thrusting in and out.  He could see pleasure written all over Spencer’s face and it only made things that much better. 

“Oh...God...Aaron!” He cried, feeling more than he’d ever felt in his life.  It was a thousand times better than Dilaudid, it was a million times better than just being held by Aaron.  It was pure ecstasy.  They kissed and held and clutched and groped.  Aaron reached down, taking Spencer in his hand.  Spencer cried out his release and that set off Aaron, pushing into his body and finishing, barely able to stop himself from collapsing on top of Reid.

Aaron pulled him as close as he could, holding on and kissing every inch of Spencer that he could reach.  “Aaron…” He panted.  

“Spencer…” Aaron panted back.  “You are incredible, my little love.” He said.

“I love you.” Reid said, snuggling close despite the mess.  Aaron took a minute to catch his breath, then got up to get some washcloths.  He gently cleaned Reid’s front and back, the younger man hardly able to keep his eyes open.  Then he climbed back into bed, pulled him close and fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter Eight - Little Wonders

Our lives are made

In these small hours

These little wonders

These twists and turns of fate

Little Wonders: Rob Thomas

They fell into an easy pattern, working and keeping their relationship quiet, and spending time at home together, learning everything about each other.  Not only each other’s bodies, but their minds, their hopes, their dreams.  It was almost too easy, the two of them.  As was intended with mates, they complimented each other.  

Reid saw a doctor to make sure he was healing up from the torture inflicted from Tobias, and started attending NA meetings.  Hotch was so proud of him and loved every second they spent together.  Contrary to being a liability, being mates actually turned into an asset.  The team was better than ever, solving cases at an amazing rate.

Reid made another doctor’s appointment and told Hotch he needed an afternoon off.  He didn’t tell him why, and even though the other man was curious he didn’t press when Reid offered no details.  He checked in and sat down, filling out the forms and waited for his name to be called.

“Spencer Reid?” Called a nurse and he stood up and followed her back.  He allowed her to check his weight, temperature, and blood pressure.  He sat on the bed, waiting for the doctor to come into the room.  It took about ten minutes when there was a quick knock and the door opened.

“Mr. Reid?” Asked the woman, stepping into the room.

“Uh, it's Dr. Reid, actually.” He said, smiling at her.

“I’m sorry, Dr. Reid.” She corrected herself.  “My name is Dr. Seymour, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” She said, shaking his hand.  She glanced over his files and charts and then sat down.  “How can I help you today?” She asked.

“Well, I found my mate about two months ago.  Well, that’s not exactly true.  I found him four years ago, but we only got together two months ago.  I had been taken hostage.  They found me and I’d been off my suppressants, he scented me and knew…” He trailed off, realizing he was probably doing that thing he did of talking too much.  “I had a forced heat and he helped me through, with Omega aids.  Then…” He paused and fought a wave of embarrassment.  “I had, uh, a problem with Dilaudid.  He helped me get clean.” He swallowed hard and pushed forward.  “I want to know when to expect my next heat and to make sure everything is alright.  I want to be able to fully bond with my Alpha.”

“Okay.  Thank you for all that.  Let’s do a full physical and blood work up, then I’ll come back in and we’ll go from there.  How does that sound?” She asked.  Spencer nodded his agreement.  She checked him over, then left to order the bloodwork.  A few minutes later a nurse came in and drew several vials of blood.  He sat, reading through a book he had brought, and almost 45 minutes later, Dr. Seymour came back in.  

“Dr. Reid, thank you for your patience.” She said, pulling up the page that had his test results.  “I’ve taken a look and everything looks good.  You are incredibly healthy, especially for the trauma that you went through recently.  Based on the bloodwork, I’d say you’re due to start your heat in the next few weeks.  If you and your partner are interested in conceiving, you are very fertile right now.  If you aren’t, I would recommend getting on either another suppressant or birth control.”

“Thank you.  Would it be possible to get copies of all the reports?” He asked.  She agreed, then finished up and sent him on his way.  He headed home and waited for Hotch.  He read through the bloodwork and the doctor’s notes on his files.  He heard the door open and drew a deep breath.

“Hey little love.” Hotch greeted, leaning down for a kiss.  “Everything alright?”

“Yeah.” Spencer agreed.  “I just...ah...we need to talk.” He said.

“Those are never good words.” Hotch said, raising an eyebrow and taking a seat next to him.  He gently pulled him into his side and muffled a smile when he felt Reid relax into him.

“Nothing’s wrong.  I went to see an Omega doctor today.” He said.  Hotch tried not to stiffen as Reid looked up at him.  “I wanted to know if I was healthy enough to expect a heat, and if so, when to expect it.”

Hotch was surprised.  They really hadn’t discussed his heat, after that initial forced one.  He hadn’t wanted Reid to feel pressured in any direction.  “And…?” He prompted.

“I’m perfectly healthy and should expect my heat to hit sometime in the next few weeks.” He admitted and Hotch tightened his grip, happier than he could have realized to hear those words.  “She told me that I’m ‘very fertile’ and if we don’t plan on conceiving, then I should get on birth control.” 

He hadn’t expected that, though he wasn’t entirely sure why.  The point of a heat was conception.  “What do you think of that?” Hotch asked, keeping his voice neutral.

“I’m not sure.” He admitted, honestly.  “I want to go through a heat, I want to finally bond fully, but I’m not sure I’m ready for...that.” He said.  “I don’t know because I’m scared thinking about it, but I’m also…” He trailed off, a sappy grin covering his face.  “The thought... isn’t NOT appealing.” He said.

“I definitely want to finish bonding with you.” Hotch agreed, turning his face and giving him a kiss.  “I will not push you for anything, though.  That decision is yours.” 

“But see, I don’t want that.  I don’t want the decision to be mine, I want it to be OURS.  You aren’t going to have the only decision, but I want to know what you think.  How you feel about...having a baby with me.” Spencer pleaded.

Hotch took a moment to cool himself after hearing Spencer say those words.  “Every Alpha wants pups.  I’m no exception to that.” He started.  “The thought of you, swollen with my child, is…” He swallowed.  “It’s a dream, Spencer.  At some point, I want children with you.  I want to mate you, breed you, then pamper you and our child until the end of time.  But I understand that there’s more to it than that.  Getting pregnant, you would have to quit field work for at least a year and a half.  I won’t be able to let you come with us.”

“I could still come until about my sixth month, barring any complications.  Then I can do desk work, and work with Garcia at Quantico.  I don’t have to quit my job.”

The thought of his pregnant mate, out chasing UnSub’s made Hotch very uneasy.  “It would be difficult for me to let you come to the field, knowing you were pregnant.” Hotch said, tactfully.  “We do have time, you’re still young and we don’t have to do this right now.  If you want to wait, I’m okay with waiting.”

“What if I don’t want to wait?  What if I said that I wanted it now, and I still want to work with the BAU?” He challenged.  

“If a Bureau doctor clears you for field work, I’d allow it.” He finally said, after thinking about it for a long time.  “You wouldn’t leave my sight, ever.  Wherever you are, that’s where I’ll be.  And I’d be keeping you out of the most dangerous situations.  You wouldn’t go running into danger.” He said.

“Aaron?” He asked, looking shyly down at his hands.

“Yes, little love?” Hotch took his hands and Spencer looked up, their eyes meeting and locking.

“I want to have a baby with you.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Nine - The Guilty Ones

But now our bodies are the guilty ones

Who touched

And colored the hours

Night won’t breathe

Oh how are we

Fall in silence from the sky

And whisper some silver reply

The Guilty Ones - Spring Awakening

There were, of course, logistics to follow through.  They bought a drug store test that should give them a fairly accurate start date for his heat.  They would need to apply for leave and prep the team for the absence of both of them.  With this being an actual heat, and not a forced one, it would last longer, anywhere from 3-7 days, depending.  The two of them spoke and Reid had told him that previous heats usually lasted about 5-6 days. Heats with mates, though, usually were a little shorter.  Spencer had never spent a heat with anyone, so they really had no idea what it would look like.

They got everything ready at work, and JJ knew not to accept any major cases.  Reid had gone on an Amazon shopping spree, but refused to tell Hotch anything that he had purchased.  The boxes were all collected in one spot and they were both nervous and excited.  They were getting ready to leave work on a Thursday, when Reid knocked on the door to Hotch’s office.  “Come in.” Came the reply.  Aaron’s head was bent over his work and he was obviously deep in thought.  Spencer smiled lovingly at him.

“Aaron?” He asked quietly, and Hotch looked up at him.  “I’m pretty sure I’m going into pre-heat.  It’ll start tomorrow, I’m sure of it.” He said.

“Oh...oh!” Hotch said, his eyes lighting in excitement.

“I’m going to head home early, I’ll catch a cab.” He explained, gently shifting the bag on his shoulder.

“I’ll take you.” Hotch said, standing up.

“No.” He said, softly, but firmly.  “You need to finish up, get the official leave going, and make sure the team knows.  I’m fine, I promise.  Finish up what needs to be done, then come home.  And maybe stop and grab some groceries on your way.  And Chinese food.” He said, as a bit of an afterthought.

Hotch nodded, realizing that Spencer was right.  He had duties to attend to and everything couldn’t come to a screeching halt.  They had time and Aaron needed to finish taking care of business.  He came around the desk and pulled him into his arms.  Spencer went willingly, even though the blinds were open.  They scented each other for a long minute.  “You smell incredible.” Hotch said and Spencer blushed.

“You do, too.” He agreed.  “I’ll see you at home.  I love you.” 

They shared a brief kiss and Spencer headed out of the office.  It took all of Hotch’s concentration to finish up his workday.  He finished the report he’d been working on, then reassigned the other reports to various team members (all of whom were happy and eager to help in whatever way they could, even if it meant extra paperwork).   He called Strauss and officially started their leave.  He did want to head right home to Spencer, but he knew the other man had been right.  They needed food to get them through this, and it was Aaron’s job to provide for his Omega.  He called their usual order into the favorite Chinese place and did a quick shopping trip, making sure he bought things that would keep their energy up.

He picked up the food, and tried not to speed home.  He couldn’t wait to see Spencer, to just be with him and worship him.  He came in and could tell Spencer was getting closer and closer.  The pheromones were overwhelming and the house smelled incredible.  “Spencer?” He called, dropping his keys into the dish and bringing the food and groceries into the kitchen.

“I’m upstairs.” He called back.  “Can...ah...can you come up here?” He asked, hesitantly.

He didn’t sound hurt but Hotch moved pretty quickly.  Spencer was standing outside their bedroom door, with the door shut behind him.  Hotch was confused and looked from Spencer to the door.  “What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Nothing, ah, nothing is wrong.” He assured.  “I just...I built a nest.  I wanted to make sure that it looked okay to you.” He said, his cheeks bright pink and wringing his hands.

Hotch couldn’t even stop the smile that spread all over his face.  “You built a nest?” He asked.  He knew that Omega’s needed to nest while in heat and that Spencer hadn’t been able to build the nest for the forced heat.  He honestly hadn’t really even thought about before now.  “Let me see.” He encouraged.

“If you don’t like it, I can fix it.” Spencer promised.  He took a breath and opened the door.  All of the boxes that had been piled up were gone.  In the corner of the room there was what looked, for lack of a better word, like a small fort.  There were four walls and a roof, along with an open space that indicated a door.  Spencer followed Hotch as he ducked into the nest.  There were about 50 pillows, most of them brand new, though already covered in their scent.  There were blankets and small, low light lamps.  The top of the fort had been covered in tiny lights, to make it appear they were outside under the stars.  The entire thing looked like the coziest thing he’d ever seen and smelled better than anything he’d smelled in his life.

“Spencer…” He breathed, unable to do much but stare.

“It’s fine, I can fix it...we can take down the nest-house, we can use the mattress again, or-” He was cut off as Aaron yanked him into a hard kiss.

“This is incredible.  I can’t believe...this is perfect.” He promised.  “You did all this for us?”

“For you...I wanted to give you a good nest.  One you could be proud of.” He said.  It was harder to see in the dark of the nest, but he knew Spencer was blushing again.

“I’d be proud of anything you did, but this is unreal.  I’ve never seen anything like this before.  I love it.  And I love you, Spencer Reid.” He said, pulling him in for another kiss.

“I’ve been researching for a while.  I wanted to get something that we could hide away in.” He said, leaning into Aaron’s strong chest and enjoying being held.  

“It’s perfect.  And so are you.” He nipped at his neck.

“Nuh-uh.” Spencer disagreed, pulling back.  “I’m too close.  We need to eat and get ready before you start any of those shenanigans.” He said, with a smile.

“I have the Chinese food downstairs.  Come on, let’s go eat.” He agreed.  He tried not to be as overprotective as he currently felt.  He did usher Spencer into a chair and served him his food.  Both of their biologies and instincts were in overdrive right now.  They ate in not quite silence, chatting about mostly banal things.  They were both nervous and on edge.  

Hotch wouldn’t let Reid help clean up, so he sat at the table watching Hotch put away the rest of the groceries and cleaned up the food and leftovers.  Hotch made sure to run some water, juice, and gatorade upstairs to their mini-fridge that Garcia had bought them.  He also brought up a bunch of pre-cruit fruit and stashed it for later.

When he came back downstairs, Spencer had moved to the couch.  He was half laying, curled into a tight ball and shivering slightly.  “It’s getting close.” He said, sensing Hotch as opposed to actually seeing him.  “I’m starting to cramp and I’m...c-cold.” He stuttered.  Aaron immediately grabbed a blanket and sat down, pulling Spencer into his lap.  Spencer groaned, but turned so he was cuddled into Hotch.  “I’m scared.” He admitted, his voice so quiet it could barely be heard.

“I know, little love.” He comforted.  “This is new and scary.  This will probably be intense and I know you can tell that, even if you hadn’t done enough research to write a book on it.” He teased, knowing how Spencer was.  “I will be right here, with you, the whole time.  I’ll take care of you.  You’ve done everything perfectly, now it's my turn.  Let me take care of you.” He soothed.

Spencer curled in as a huge cramp radiated through his body and he groaned loudly, clinging even tighter.  “Aaron...please...hold me.” He begged.

“I’ve got you.” He promised.  “I’ve got you, I know that it hurts right now.  I’ll take care of you.” He said.  He placed one hand on Spencer’s stomach and the warmth immediately soothed some of the ache.  He’d been with a few Omega’s during heat, but none that he had loved and cared about, like he did Spencer.  None that were ever going to mean as much as this one would.  He knew that for him, this would be the worst of it.  Watching the pre-heat sickness take him and not be able to do much of anything was always miserable on an Alpha.  It was even worse when it was a mate.  However, his heart soared at the thought of them actually bonding.  At being together as they were meant to be, as biology meant them to be.  At possibly creating a new life that Spencer would carry and bring into the world.

“Little love, hold on to me.  I’m going to bring you upstairs and take you to the nest.” Aaron said, shifting slightly to get a better hold of Spencer.  Spencer held on, not even for a moment worried that Hotch might drop or hurt him.  He knew that his Alpha was going to take care of him.  Heats were hard on Omega’s and they were even worse without an Alpha to help them through.  But Spencer had never been with an Alpha and had simply suffered.  He knew he wasn’t going to suffer this time.  He knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Aaron was going to be perfect.  He knew that during his first wave, they would complete the bond and he couldn’t wait.  No amount of reading would be able to prepare him for how it felt to be claimed by his mate.

Over the next six hours, Spencer struggled through his pre-heat.  He was sick to his stomach, aching and sore, and overly emotional.  He cried and clung to Aaron, who barely left his side.  Aaron made sure he had water, and food, and was taken care of.  He’d finally managed to fall asleep, held tight in Aaron’s arms, safe in their nest that he had built for them.

Aaron was awake, watching and holding Spencer, but it was the ache that woke Spencer.  His body felt like it was on fire.  He remembered this feeling, but suddenly realized that he wasn’t alone.  He panicked for half a second, before he remembered where he was and who he was with.  “It’s starting.” He gasped, turning over in Aaron’s hold to look him in the eyes.  “I love you, Aaron Hotchner.  Take me, use me, and bond me.  Make me yours forever.” He said, his voice husky.

As much as Aaron wanted to be soft and sweet with him, he knew that this first time, it wouldn’t happen.  They were both too worked up and the pheromones around them were too high.  Once they got through the first wave, it would be a little easier, a little calmer.  He maneuvered them both, so they were face to face.  He wanted to see Spencer’s face when they bit each other and the bond fully sealed.  Spencer was drenched and both their cocks were hard and aching.  He kissed him, hard, trying to put all of his love in the kiss.  

Spencer pulled at him, desperate to be filled.  “Aaron!” He pleaded.  “Now, please, I need you.” His hips rocked against the air and it was more than Hotch could take.  He shifted them slightly and pushed in on one go.  There was no need to prepare him, mother nature had already done that.  It felt like coming home and euphoria and Hotch saw stars.  It was fast and furious, both men clinging to each other, panting and kissing and groping.  “Knot me!  I want your knot, please Aaron.  I need it!” He begged.

“I want to bite together.  I’m close, Spencer...bite me as we come.” He instructed.  Hotch pushed into him once, twice, and a third time and his knot popped, making Spencer cry out and try to pull back.  Hotch simply pulled him in closer and latched his teeth on Spencer’s neck, where the bonding gland was.  Half a second later, he felt Reid’s release and his teeth in his own neck.

Starting in puberty, mating bonds are talked about in secrets and hushed whispers.  What will it feel like?  Do you think I’ll ever find someone?  As they move into their secondary genders, the whispers become slightly different.  Alpha’s talking about how they’ll bite their mate hard and Omega’s dreaming of a love written about in books.  Being taken on the beach or in a cabin in the woods.  There had been a million stories written about bonding.  There were countless research papers and books and journals devoted to what it was like.  But nothing would ever be able to accurately describe the moment they bit and the bond shifted into place.

It was like the entire planet shifted and things they hadn’t even realized were wrong, were righted.  It felt like a missing puzzle piece that they hadn’t known was missing was snapped in and the picture was completed.  The colors blossomed in their eyes as bliss overtook them both.  Nothing had ever felt more right to either man and they collapsed in each other’s arms.  They lay there, panting, still connected by the knot locking them together.

After a few moments, Hotch looked down at the man underneath him.  His eyes were closed and he was breathing, but not moving or saying anything.  “Spencer?” He asked, realizing only after he’d spoken how wrecked his voice sounded.  “Are you okay?”

Spencer tiredly opened his eyes and looked at Aaron.  It took a moment, but a slow, peaceful smile spread over his face.  “Am I okay?  I have never been better.  God, Aaron, you are absolutely perfect and I love you.” He said, puckering his lips for a kiss, too tired to even move.

Aaron’s smile then spread across his own face, his dimples shining through and he leaned down to kiss him.  “You’re the one who’s perfect.  I don’t know how I got so lucky, but I adore you.” He said.

They traded soft, lazy kisses for the next 30 minutes, until Hotch’s knot finally went down and he was able to slip out of Spencer and move them both to a more comfortable position.  He could see that Spencer was exhausted and all he wanted to do was care for him.  He had planned on getting up, getting a rag to clean them and getting Spencer some water, but as soon as he moved, Spencer grabbed for his hand.  “No.” He said, petulantly.  “Stay, please?” There was a note of pleading and Hotch realized that Spencer needed the closeness after the intensity of what they’d just been through.  

“I’m right here.” He promised, laying down and pulling Spencer into his arms.

Chapter Text

Chapter Ten - Beautiful World

The moon is high above you

We're all here 'cause we love you

And when you finally open your eyes and ears

You'll see and you'll hear us singing

Beautiful World: Jim Brickman

Three days later and the heat had finally passed.  Both men were exhausted, but beyond thrilled.  They both felt a love that they had never expected.  As his heat petered out, Aaron finally removed them from the nest.  He carried an exhausted Spencer to their bed, gently tucking him in and making sure there was water and a few granola bars on the nightstand for him.  Then he set to work cleaning up after them.  It smelled good to him, but he knew that if anyone else came anywhere near it would stink to high heaven.  He got everything in the wash and left the nest-house up.  He tidied up, checked emails and swapped out the laundry.  He knew that Spencer would sleep for at least a day or two, only waking for a little bit at a time.  His body was at it's limits and needed recovery.  He wondered if they had actually done it, if they had gotten Spencer pregnant.  It would be a while before they knew, and he knew it was unlikely to happen the first time.  

One of the times that Spencer got up, he asked Hotch to help him shower.  Spencer was far too weak to take a shower, though, so Aaron had drawn him a bath.  He got in with him, held him and washed him up.  He massaged shampoo through his hair and then conditioned it.  He took such soft, sweet care that if Spencer hadn’t seen his bad-ass FBI persona, he would never have believed Hotch had it in him to act like that.

Spencer managed to eat a little, at Aaron’s urging, but quickly went back to sleep.  Hotch sent emails to the team, letting them know that they would both be back in a couple of days.  He got quick replies letting him know that everyone was excited to see them.  After Hotch had gotten everything clean, he mostly stayed in bed with Spencer.  He didn’t need as much sleep, though he was tired from a 3 day marathon of sex.  

The day they were ready to head back to work, the morning was only a little odd.  Spencer was shy around him, though still somewhat clingy.  They got up, took showers, and made coffee.  It was like they had been together for years.  They headed into work and before they got out of the car, Hotch pulled Reid in for a kiss.  “Hey, I know today will be a little difficult, navigating the boundaries of still feeling the bonding effects but having to stay professional.  If you need me, for anything, you can come get me.”  Spencer nodded, his eyes soft and trusting.  “I love you.” He said, giving him a kiss.

“I love you, too.” Spencer said, and they both got out of the car and headed in.  There was no time to even begin to feel awkward, because they had a case waiting for them.  JJ had received the files late last night and was waiting for Hotch when he came in.  Hotch immediately switched into BAU mode and examined the files.  

“Call everyone into the briefing room in five minutes.” Hotch said, barely looking up at her.

“Got it.” She agreed, and headed out to collect the team.  

It was strange to be back where he was used to being, seeing Aaron be Hotch.  Spencer shook his head to clear himself and focused on the files being passed out.  He read through it quickly, then sat back to listen to JJ’s brief.  After they bandied about a few thoughts and suggestions, Hotch announced, “Wheels up in thirty.” 

And just like that, life went back to mostly what he’d known.  Cases, research, profiles, lots of coffee and running around.  The only difference was that he now went home with Aaron at the end of each day.  Spencer showed no signs of pregnancy and the next month, his heat came back, confirming that he wasn’t pregnant.  He tried not to be disappointed, but fell into his heat with Aaron taking care of him.

Six months passed, Gideon left and Rossi joined the team.  Life was as normal as it could be, but Spencer was beginning to worry that maybe something was wrong with him.  Maybe he had screwed up so much with the Dilaudid that he wouldn’t be able to give Aaron a baby.  He said nothing, but worried incessantly.

The team was also running itself ragged.  They all piled on the jet, ready to head home after their latest case.  They had had to leave just half an hour after Spencer’s heat had ended, which did nobody’s nerves any good, least of all Aaron and Spencer.  The air was heavy and oppressive, they hadn’t solved the case quick enough and the UnSub had killed four more people after they’d been brought in.  Finally, they found him and it ended with suicide by cop.  They were all upset and frustrated, running on almost no sleep.

The team members plopped heavily into chairs and couches, eyes closing as the jet began to take off.  Spencer and Aaron, though their relationship was known to the team, didn’t typically show a lot of affection while on a case, but this had been overwhelming.  Spencer glanced at Hotch, then sat himself right next to the older man, leaning into him and giving them both some much needed comfort.  Hotch looked at him in surprise.  “Sorry, I can…” Spencer said, starting to pull away.

“Don’t you dare.” Aaron said, a hint of a smile coming through and pulling him close.  The others on the team smiled at the display.  About halfway through the flight, Morgan suddenly jumped up, dashing the bathroom where they could hear the sounds of retching.

Rossi, still assimilating to being on a team and not working solo, volunteered to go check on him.  But before he could get more than a few steps, JJ grabbed an airsick bag and vomited as well.  “I think that flu going through the PD may have gotten to a few of us.” Rossi commented.

“Spence…” Was almost all the warning he got, when he realized that Aaron was going to be sick, as well.  Reid thrust a plastic trash can under him just in time.  He rubbed his back, watching worriedly as his Alpha got sick until he had nothing left to throw up.

By the end of the flight, all but Rossi, Emily and Spencer had apparently contracted the flu.  They had called in an FBI medic to check them, but she agreed that it was the flu.  They were to go home, rest, and get fluids.  Spencer gently helped Aaron into the car and drove home.  Aaron was sound asleep before they were even out of the parking lot.  He got them home, then reluctantly woke up his mate.  He helped him inside, helping him change into something more comfortable.  He fussed over Aaron, covering him in blankets, checking for his fever, getting him some medicine before finally leaving the room so Aaron could get some rest.  

He called in a grocery order and started a large pot of chicken soup.  He stocked the fridge with gatorade and ginger ale, hoping that it would help take some of the nausea away.  As much as he hated seeing his mate ill, it was nice to be able to pamper and take care of him.  Aaron was so good to Spencer, but rarely allowed himself to be coddled.  

Aaron was probably not a typically good patient, but this flu had really kicked his ass.  He was so weak, he could barely get to the bathroom by himself.  He thanked every being in the universe that he had Spencer, who had taken care of him so wonderfully.  He was finally able to stay awake for more than an hour at a time, and was sitting propped up in bed, when Spencer came in with soup, crackers, and some ginger ale.  

“Hey Aaron.” He whispered, then became a little louder when he realized he was awake.  “You look a little better.”

“I still feel lousy, but I do feel better.  I think my fever broke.” He said.  Spencer put the tray down and felt his forehead. 

“Yeah, it's definitely down.  Why don’t you try to eat a little something, then we can get you a bath.  I bet you feel gross.”

Aaron smiled, all dimples.  “Do I look gross?” He asked, a mock offended tone his voice.

“No!  No!  You are…” He had to take a breath.  “You are always gorgeous.  I just meant…” Aaron took pity and cut him off.

“I was teasing, little love.  But yes, a shower sounds good.” He agreed.

“Absolutely not.  No shower - a bath and only while I’m in the room to help.  You still can barely stand.” Spencer lectured.  He helped Hotch bring the tray over and he managed to take a bite of the soup, eternally grateful when it didn’t come back up.  

“Okay.” He agreed, closing his eyes for a moment.

“Aaron?” He asked, brushing his sweat-damp hair back from his face.

“Did you know that no one has ever done this for me before?” He asked, managing a drink of the ginger ale.  It was cold and tasted delicious.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, take care of me like this, when I’m sick.”  Aaron paused, trying to gather strength.  “My parents never did anything like this.” He admitted.

“I’ll always take care of you, just like you take care of me.” He said.

“I love you.” Aaron said.

“I love you, too.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Eleven - This Will Be Our Year

You don't have to worry

All your worried days are gone

This will be our year

Took a long time to come

This Will Be Our Year: The Zombies

By the time that everyone was back up and feeling themselves, Strauss had decided that the team needed some downtime.  She asked them to all take 48 hours and they all went willingly.  The first morning of their break, Aaron and Spencer woke slowly.  It was nice, having no alarm and knowing there would be no murders to solve.  Spencer was snuggled into Aaron, enjoying the warmth his mate provided.  As he opened his eyes, he started to feel queasy.  His stomach began to roll and he tried to get out of bed and make it to the bathroom before he threw up everywhere.

“Aaron…” He moaned, trying to get free.  He got up and was hit by a wave of dizziness, he fell to his knees.

“Spencer!” Aaron was completely awake now and rushed to his side.  “What’s…” He started to ask.

“I’m going to throw up.” He announced, trying to breathe through the nausea.  Aaron helped him up, Spencer clinging tightly as everything spun around him.  “I’m so dizzy.” He complained.  Aaron got him to the toilet right as he started throwing up.  Aaron rubbed his back softly.

“I’m right here, little love.” He promised, as Spencer lost everything in his stomach.  When the retching stopped, he slumped back against Aaron, exhausted.  Aaron wiped his face off and offered him a drink of water.  “I think maybe you got that flu.” He said.

“You think?” Spencer replied, sarcastically.  “God, I feel awful.”

Aaron felt his forehead.  He was clammy from the vomiting but he wasn’t warm with fever.  “You don’t have a fever.” He said.  “Let’s get you back in bed, guess it's my turn to play Florence Nightingale”

It took a minute to get Spencer off the floor, and he insisted on brushing his teeth first.  Then Aaron helped him back to bed, tucked him in and laid down with him.  He knew how terrible he must feel, having just recovered from the same thing a few days earlier.    

Spencer had made a ton of chicken soup, so he made sure there was some for him to eat later.  He brought up a can of ginger ale and set it on the bedside table.  Spencer had fallen back asleep.  He dreaded going through all of this again with Spencer being the one who was sick this time.  

Later that morning, Spencer woke again.  “How are you feeling?” Aaron asked.

“Better, actually.” He said.  “I don’t know, maybe it was a fluke.” He got up, no longer dizzy or feeling sick.

“Still, let’s take it easy today.” Aaron encouraged.  

“I’m all for cuddling on the couch and watching movies...maybe a little...making out.” He suggested with a smile.

“How about we save the making out for when you’re no longer contagious?” Aaron said, and Spencer pouted.  “How about I hold you close and rub your back?”

By the time dinner came around, Spencer was feeling just fine and had a large dinner.  “I really think it might have been a fluke, or I ate something funny last night.” He said.  They climbed into bed, snuggled and fell asleep.

The next three days, Spencer woke up sick and throwing up, only to be just fine by afternoon.  “Spence?” Aaron asked, coming into the bathroom.  

“What?” He managed.  

“I don’t think it's the flu.” He said.  “But...maybe…” He went silent, and held up the plastic shopping bag in his hand.  He pulled out the pregnancy test.  “Do you think?”

Spencer had to close his eyes as another wave of dizziness came over him.  It was textbook symptoms of early pregnancy.  Once the dizziness had passed, he looked up to find Aaron now sitting on the floor with him.  “I don’t know.” He said, but after a minute he reached out his hand to take the test.   

“You want me to give you some privacy?” Aaron asked and Spencer couldn’t do anything except nod.  There was a huge lump in his throat and he was almost shaking.  Spencer did his business, set a timer and washed his hands.  Then he went to sit next to Aaron on the bed.  “Are you okay?” Aaron asked.

“I don’t know.” Spencer responded.  “I’m...I think I might be freaking out.” He said.

“I’m right here, little love, always.” He promised.  It seemed to take forever, but the alarm rang and they looked at each other.

“I can’t do this alone.” He said.

“Together.” Aaron told him, holding hands they headed into the bathroom.  “I bought one that says ‘Pregnant’ or ‘Not Pregnant’ so we don’t have to worry about lines.” He explained.  Spencer nodded, swallowing down another wave of sickness.  

Spencer reached out and picked up the test, both him and Aaron looking.  Pregnant.  Spencer’s knees gave way and Aaron caught him.  “I’m pregnant?” He said, eyes filling with tears.  Aaron immediately wrapped him into a hug, holding him close and starting to cry himself.

“You’re pregnant!” He exclaimed, happily.  “Oh Spencer, I love you.  I love you so much.” He kissed all over the other man’s face, kissing away the tears that were falling.  

“I thought...I was starting to think that maybe the Dilaudid had...had…”Spencer was full on crying now.  “I thought…” He could barely catch his breath.  “Aaron!” He sobbed, clinging to his mate.

“I thought that the day I found you as my mate, I’d never be happier.  Then we bonded and I thought that was it, but now…” Aaron’s hand roamed down, gently covering Spencer’s still flat stomach.  “We’re going to have a baby.” His voice was choked with emotions.

“I should see the doctor.  These tests aren’t always accurate.” Spencer said, starting to come back to himself a little.  “I’ll call and see when we can get in.” Then he paused and looked at Aaron.  “You will come with me, right?”

Aaron’s dimples were full out as he beamed at Spencer.  “Try to stop me.”

Spencer had been able to get an appointment for that afternoon, and since Aaron had already called them both out for the day, they decided to stay in bed and just be together.  Spencer was nervous and already thinking of the millions of things that could go wrong, but just looking at Aaron, he knew that he’d never been happier either.  They showered together, Aaron taking extra care of Spencer, and got dressed.  They decided to get something to eat before their appointment, and headed to a little diner near where they lived.

Sitting in the waiting room, Spencer’s leg bounced nervously until Aaron put his hand on top of it, baring his neck for Spencer to sniff.  The smell of his mate did help calm him down and soon they were called back.  The nurse checked his weight, blood pressure, temperature, and made some notes, letting them know the doctor would be in soon.

It didn’t take long for Dr. Seymour to come in and smile at the two men.  “Hello Spencer, it's nice to see you.  This must be your mate?” She offered her hand to the other man.

“Aaron Hotchner.” He said, shaking her hand.

“Very nice to meet you.  So what brings you in today, Spencer?” She asked.

“I think...we think I’m pregnant.  I’ve been feeling sick in the mornings, nauseous and dizzy, and I took an at-home test this morning.  But I wanted to confirm things.” He said.  Aaron squeezed his hand gently.

“Okay, and when was your last heat?” She asked.

“Almost two months.  I wasn’t surprised when I missed my last one because we were involved in an extremely tough case.  We were away from home and we’d had to leave so soon after the heat before it.” He told her.

“Okay.  Well, let’s do a blood and urine test, then we’ll go from there.” She said.  She gave him a cup and told him the nurse would be there in a few minutes to draw blood.  Spencer filled the cup and when the nurse came, allowed her to draw his blood.  She took the vials of blood and the cup and left the room.  The two men sat there, Spencer shivering slightly in the gown he’d been asked to put on.  Aaron took off his jacket, draping it over his mate and Spencer smiled up at him gratefully.  Nearly an hour later, the doctor finally came back.

“I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting, the labs were a little behind.  But we ran both your blood and urine and...congratulations.” She smiled.  “You two are going to have a baby.”

The two men embraced, holding each other close for a moment.  They scented each other and now that Aaron knew to be aware, he could smell the sweet scent of flowers that typically indicated a pregnant omega.  “I’d like to do an ultrasound, see how far you are and just check that everything is going normally.  Mr. Hotchner, would you like to stay?”

“Absolutely.  I promised him he wouldn’t be alone.” He said and Dr. Seymour smiled.  

The doctor helped Spencer lay back and draw the gown up, revealing his belly.   “This is cold, sorry.” She said, squirting a bunch of gel on his stomach.  He jumped slightly, but Aaron squeezed his hand again.  He looked up at Aaron and knew he’d do anything to make his mate look like this.  He’d never seen him look happier.  The ultrasound was weird, she pushed hard and it made Spencer uncomfortable.  But then he heard something that made his breath catch. 

“Is that…”

“That’s baby’s heart.” She said, grinning down at him.  “Sounds perfect.  Okay, it looks like you’re about seven weeks.  Everything looks good.” She said.  “Do you two want a couple of printouts?” She offered and they both nodded, too choked up to speak.  They stared at the little blob that was going to be their baby.  She printed a few copies for them, then pulled the wand away, wiping up his stomach.  “Spencer, Mr. Hotchner, everything looks perfect.  I’ll have some handouts for you to read through at your leisure.  Unless something feels wrong, I don’t need to see you until week 12.  Congratulations, gentleman.” She said.

“I want to tell the team.” Spencer said, holding and staring at the printout of their child.  

Aaron laughed.  “Let’s get out of the doctor’s office first, then we can talk.” He said.  They scheduled a follow up appointment, got prenatal prescriptions and a huge handful of paperwork, then they headed home.  Aaron couldn’t take his hand off the small of Spencer’s back.  He knew he was fully capable, but the Alpha in him screamed protect mate and pup !

They went home and both Aaron and Spencer were so happy, their hearts felt full.  They cuddled together, talking, kissing and scenting each other.  “Can we go in tomorrow and tell the team?” Spencer asked.

“Don’t most Omega’s wait until 12 weeks?  Some kind of superstition?” Aaron asked, vaguely remembering hearing something about that.

“I don’t care, they’re our family Aaron.  I want them to know.” He said.  “Besides, we’ll have to tell Strauss and Rossi anyway.  Please?” He pouted slightly, turning up his face to look at Aaron.  Aaron already knew he was doomed.  He’d do anything for Spencer, but now that he was pregnant, he didn’t have the heart to deny him anything he wanted.

“Okay, we’ll tell them tomorrow.” He agreed and Spencer squealed, grabbing Aaron’s chin and pulling him down for a kiss.  Spencer put his hand over where Aaron’s had been sitting on his stomach for the last hour.  

“I’m so happy Aaron.” Spencer sighed.  

“Me too, little love, me too.” 

Chapter Text

Chapter Twelve - Better Days

And you asked me what I want this year

And I try to make this kind and clear

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

Better Days: Goo Goo Dolls

The next morning, Spencer still had morning sickness, but now that he knew what it was, it didn’t feel so awful.  Well, that was a lie, he felt miserable, but he was excited knowing the reason behind it.  Aaron insisted on showering with him, since the dizziness was pretty constant in the mornings.  Spencer was insisting on going into work, telling Aaron that he couldn’t just stop coming in because of morning sickness.  Aaron held his tongue, since what he wanted to do was wrap Spencer in cotton and never let him out of the bed.  But he knew his mate wanted to keep working and had worked hard to get to where he was.

The morning moved a little slow, due to how miserable Spencer actually felt, but they managed to get dressed and head out.  Aaron had made a ginger tea for Spencer and he was sipping it cautiously as they drove to work.  Aaron couldn’t quite let Spencer go more than about two steps ahead of him and when they entered, Aaron signaled Rossi to come over.  “Can you get everyone in the briefing room?  No emergency.” He said.  Rossi raised an eyebrow, but wrangled the other members of the team as they came in.

Spencer and Aaron were already in the room and Spencer was doing his best to not lose what little was in his stomach.  Fortunately, the dizziness had eased off but he still felt very sick to his stomach.  Eventually, everyone was in the room, looking at Hotch expectantly.

“We have something that you all need to know about.” Hotch said, keeping his face neutral.  “Thank you all for coming right in.”

“What’s wrong?” JJ asked, looking between the two of them.  They exchanged a quick glance and Hotch nodded, knowing Spencer wanted to tell everyone.

“Well, I thought I’d caught the flu that was going around, but it turns out…” He paused and grinned impishly.  “I’m pregnant.” He smiled, bashfully ducking his head and shrugging.  There was an immediate outburst from everyone.  JJ jumped up, rushed to Spencer’s side and hugged him tightly. 

“Oh my God, Spence! Congratulations!  You, too, Hotch - oh! I’m so happy for you guys!” She said.  He was hugged by all of them, including Rossi, who then kissed him on each cheek.

“Congratulations.” He said, smiling at both of them.  “I wish you both the happiest.” He said, sincerely.

“So, is this the last time we’ll see you until you have the baby?” Emily asked, after everyone had settled back down.

Reid frowned.  “No, why would it?”

“You aren’t going to keep working?” She asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Emily.” JJ said, a slight warning in her voice. 

“No, tell me why I can’t keep doing my job.  Other Omega’s do, they work up until they’re ready to have their baby...and I’m supposed to, what, just go home and be Becky Home-Ec-y?” He asked, getting angry.  Hotch placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to soothe him.

“We’re going to talk to Strauss next, but Spencer will continue to work.  He might not be going into the field as much, but he can keep working.” He said, hating every word coming out of his mouth.  He wanted Reid to stay home, not because he didn’t believe in him, but because he’d seen what UnSub’s could do.  

“I’m not trying to upset you, Reid, I just...I just want you to be safe.” Emily said.

“Sorry.” Reid said, slumping as all the anger went out of him.  “I just...I never wanted to be ‘the Omega’.  I wanted to do my job and I still do.” 

“We’re all very happy for you.  Now, go tell Strauss and come on back.  I bet by the time you get back JJ will have found us a case.” Rossi said.

“I’ve got two that I’m looking at, trying to decide which one needs us more.” She confirmed.  They joined hands and headed up to Erin Strauss’ office.  They informed her of his pregnancy and got the paperwork filled out.  She confirmed that he was allowed to stay doing field work until his eighth month, unless otherwise directed by his doctor.  Aaron had to keep his face neutral, but managed to keep it together.  

Aaron made sure he ate something before they headed back to the briefing room.  Right before they headed back into their offices, Aaron quickly glanced around to ensure they were alone.  “How are you feeling?” He asked, voice soft.

“I’m okay.  Still a little nauseous, but I don’t think I’m going to be sick.” He admitted.  

“Alright.  If you need to tap out on a case, just let me know.  No one will think any less of you.” Spencer glared slightly, then raised up to press a quick kiss to Aaron’s lips, and then headed into the office.

The case was local, but gruesome.  Spencer had only started flipping through the files when he came across the first pictures and instantly gagged.  He looked around and found a trash can, grabbing it and getting sick instantly.  Aaron was at his side in an instant and everyone looked somewhat shocked.  “Spence?” JJ asked, grabbing tissues and a water bottle for him.

“Sorry guys, the morning sickness and the picture didn’t really agree with each other.” He said, still gagging slightly.  He took some deep breaths and leaned into Aaron’s side.  “I’m okay.” He said, finally settling back.  JJ had already removed the pictures of the victims from Spencer’s file.  

“You don’t need to see them to profile.” JJ said, when she realized Spencer had noticed that they were gone.  “You have everything else.”

Spencer wanted to be frustrated, but he was too grateful to not have to see the images again.  He made sure to drink some water and happily took a peppermint from Emily, who swore they helped nausea.  Two hours later, the team had a pretty decent profile put together and Morgan and Emily were heading to the precinct to give the profile.

The case ended up settling quickly, the profile was put out to the public by the local police and within ten hours, they had the UnSub in custody.  They finished everything up and began packing up for the day.

The next couple weeks went much the same way.  They took cases, gave profiles and let Spencer pretend that the morning sickness wasn’t as bad as they all suspected it actually was.  Spencer knew that male Omega’s were more likely to experience more intense morning sickness.  The ginger tea was ready for him every morning and Emily’s stash of peppermints now lived on her desk, always ready and available for Spencer.  They did some traveling, even though being on the jet always made Reid feel worse.

They were heading to Naperville, Illinois, a suburb about thirty miles outside of Chicago.  Spencer was half asleep on the jet, a bucket underneath him in case he needed to be sick.  The rest of the team was sitting around a table, quietly discussing the case.  They had all been quiet, thinking about various things, when Morgan finally spoke up.

“How’s he doing?” He asked, nodding his head toward Reid.  Reid was sound asleep, cuddled in a blanket, eyes pinched even in sleep.

“Okay.” Hotch said.  “The morning sickness hits him hard, and it's the worst when we’re flying.”

“Then why doesn’t…” Emily started.

“He wants to keep working.  He keeps saying that it should let up at the beginning of the second trimester.” He said, with a sigh and another worried look at his mate.

“When is that?” JJ asked.

“Two more weeks.  We have his twelve week appointment then and he’s hoping the morning sickness will ease up.” He told the others.

“He’s a strong Omega.” Morgan commented.  Hotch couldn’t help but smile proudly.

“The strongest.” He agreed.  The plane began to descend and Reid woke up, leaning over and throwing up into the can.  “Aaron?” He asked, slightly disoriented.

“Right here, little love.” He assured, using the nickname he typically only used when they were alone.  Aaron helped him sit up, get some water and clean up.  The plane landed and they disembarked to several black SUV’s waiting for them.  Several agents were standing waiting for them.  A tall blond man approached.

“Agent Jasper West, thank you all for coming.” He greeted, putting his hand out to shake.

“SSA Aaron Hotchner.” He greeted, his voice darkened from the soft, sweetness on the plane.  “These are agents Rossi, Prentiss, Morgan, Jareau, and Dr. Reid.” He introduced the team.

“It’s nice to meet you all.  We have a temporary field office set up in Naperville, where the murders have been taking place.  We’ll drive you out there and show you around.”

“Okay, Reid, Rossi with me.  Everyone else in the other car.” Hotch said and, with all of them shouldering their go bags, they climbed into the cars.  Agent West filled them in as they made the hour and forty minute drive to Naperville.

“Jeez, I thought D.C. traffic was bad.” Rossi commented when they hadn’t moved more than a quarter mile in thirty minutes.

“When there’s no traffic it's about a thirty minute straight shot, but we’re right in the middle of rush hour.” Agent West explained.

“Chicago has a huge population, it's the third most populous city, behind only New York and Los Angeles.  Not only that, but many of Chicago’s major suburbs have actually reached city requirements.  I believe Naperville is one of them.” He commented.

“He’s right.” Agent West said, with a grin.  “Either way, traffic is hell.”

“That’s because with how big the suburb’s have become, traffic goes both ways.  There are still people who do the original commute, the suburbs to the city, but now they have just as many people commuting from the city to the suburbs.”

“He’s good.” Agent West chuckled.

“You have no idea.  He’s our resident genius.  187 IQ, 20,00 words read per minute, 3 PhD’s, and an eidetic memory.” Rossi bragged about the young man.  Agent West let out a low whistle.

“Damn.” The rest of the drive was made in relative silence.  Reid had tried to look through the files that Agent West had, but found that the motion of the car and trying to read was making him queasy and he really didn’t want to throw up again.  

They got to the field office and met the other agents and the LEO’s in charge of the case.  “We only have some of the information that we got in DC.” Hotch explained.  “We’re going to take the rest of the information and try and get you a profile.  Once we’re done, we’ll come back and speak to you all regarding the case.  We will be here tomorrow morning at 8.  Thank you everyone.” He explained.

Two younger agents drove them to the hotel they’d be staying at and Reid immediately sunk into a chair in the lobby, completely exhausted and still feeling rather sick.  Hotch got them checked in and got key cards for everyone.  Since Garcia wasn’t here, everyone was getting paired up for rooms.  Hotch made sure everyone had copies of the reports.  “Look them over and we’ll meet in the Rose Room to discuss in an hour.” He told them all, indicating the hotel restaurant.  It would give everyone a chance to relax for just a little and familiarize themselves with the materials.  

Hotch gently helped Reid up and everyone got in the elevator to head to their rooms.  “You okay?” Hotch asked, his voice quiet.

Reid shook his head no, the elevator irritating his stomach again.  He was so nauseous he wasn’t even sure he’d made it to the room.  Hotch moved in tight, wrapping an arm around him but Spencer pulled away.  Any slight movement was going to set him off.  Hotch understood and made a beeline for their room, opening the door and holding it as Spencer rushed in and fell to his knees in front of the toilet.

Hotch got the rest of the way in, dropping their go bags on the bed before heading back into the bathroom.  Reid was dry heaving, his eyes streaming as his stomach protested continually.  He sat down behind his mate, rubbing his back softly.  “It’s okay, little love.  I know you feel awful.  It’s okay, I promise.” He whispered soothingly.

Finally, Reid fell backwards, collapsing against Hotch’s chest.  “The…” He tried, but couldn’t quite catch his breath.

“Shh, just calm down for now.” He said.  He heard their door open and heard footsteps.

“What can I get you guys?” Rossi asked.

“Can you get Spencer a bottle of water and a wet washcloth?” He asked.  He ached to do everything for Spencer and not let another help take care of HIS Omega, but he could feel Reid shaking and knew that he was the only thing supporting Reid at the moment.  Rossi did as he was asked, and grabbed a chair, sitting outside of the bathroom.

“If you want to wait until tomorrow…”He started, but Reid shook his head.

“No, I’m okay now.” He said, voice sounding much stronger than it had a few moments ago.  “It was the plane, then the two hour car ride.  Too much movement.” He explained, taking another few sips.  His face had color again and he was able to sit up.

“Spencer, you don’t have to come down with us.  You can stay here and get some rest.  You can even look over the files on your own.  I’m not saying you can’t work on the case.” Hotch said.

“We’re not meeting for an hour, right?” He asked, not waiting for an answer.  “If I still feel that bad, I promise I’ll stay here.” He said, looking imploringly at Hotch.  Hotch watched him for a moment, profiling his mate, then nodded.

“Okay.” He agreed.

Spencer honestly felt much better and by the time an hour had passed, they were both sitting at the table in their room, reading through the reports.  “Spence?” Aaron asked, giving him a look.

“I’m okay now.  In fact, I’m actually kind of hungry.” He said.  “If I start to feel sick again, I’ll come back upstairs.” He told him.  Hotch nodded.  He did look much better and had been writing furiously since he’d started looking through the case files.  The team was slightly surprised to see Spencer at the restaurant but wisely said nothing, and simply began reviewing what they had all read.

Chapter Text

Chapter Thirteen - Skyfall

Let the sky fall

When it crumbles

We will stand tall

Face it all together

At skyfall

Skyfall: Adele

They weren’t quite ready to present a profile the next morning, but that was because they still had things to do.  The crime scenes needed to be looked at, the police and families needed to be interviewed, and they needed a sense of how this department worked.  They had preliminary thoughts and ideas.  Hotch made sure they each had assignments before going into the precinct, though each job was more to see the reactions of the LEO’s.  

They arrived at 7:50 and began getting everything that they needed set up.  Come 8:10, everyone was there and Hotch gathered them all to give them the basic profile.  There was a 50/50 chance the guy was in law enforcement, so they had to be careful with what they were saying.  “Reid, Morgan - I want you guys to go interview the families.  Prentiss, Rossi - take a look at the crime scenes.  JJ, you’re here with me.  I want you to get on the phone with Garci and start having her pull up the records of every victim.” He said.

As he predicted, the teaming surprised some of the LEO’s.  Sending Reid and Morgan to interview families, as opposed to Emily or JJ sent a message to those who were watching.  We are a team and we all do everything.  You cannot fool us.

Reid climbed into the passenger seat of the car as Morgan climbed into the driver’s side.  “Hey pretty boy, how you doing?” He asked.

“I’m fine.” He said.

“You didn’t look so fine yesterday.” He disagreed.

“That’s because there is a fetus growing inside of me and pumping me full of hormones that I normally don’t have.  All the movement on the plane, then the world’s longest car ride didn’t exactly settle well.” He said, somewhat snappish.

“You don’t have to bite my head off, I’m just worried about you.” He said, mildly.

“Everyone’s worried about me.  Poor Reid, he’s knocked up and now he can’t possibly profile.” He said, turning to look out the window.  Morgan put a hand on his arm and turned him so they were face to face.

“Is that what you think?” He asked.

“It’s the truth.” He countered.

“It’s the farthest thing from the truth.” Morgan told him.  “We’re worried about you because you’re our FAMILY.  You and Hotch, both.  We’re worried and excited because you have a little profiler in there.” He said.  “We don’t want anything to happen to you.  We don’t think you’ve lost your abilities, we just don’t want you to get hurt and we don’t want anything to happen to baby Hotch/Reid.”

Spencer deflated a little.  “All my life, anytime anyone found out I was an Omega, I was suddenly too delicate to deal with anything.  Shuffle him off to the side, he can’t possibly deal with that.” He explained.  “I’ve worked so hard and I love the BAU, I don’t want to lose it just because I’m having a baby.”

“You won’t.” Morgan told him.  “You’re the best profiler we’ve got and a certified genius.  But things WILL change by having a baby and you need to take care of both of you.”

There was a very long pause, then Reid spoke up again.  “Morning sickness sucks.”  Morgan let out a laugh at that.

“It certainly looks that way.” He agreed.  They pulled up to the first house and headed up to the door to knock.

The day seemed to drag on forever.  Morgan and Reid were running all over town to interview the families of the victims.  They were getting absolutely nowhere with any of them.  It was almost six o’clock before they got back to the precinct and they were both exhausted.  Hotch tried to remain calm when they came in but he was so relieved to see Spencer, he almost lost all of his professionalism.  

The team met up again and talked about what they had found (or hadn’t found).  It seemed more and more likely that it was an inside job and that it was probably someone from this very station.  Garcia was running histories on everyone who worked there and finally, they had to call it a night.  They decided to get some food before turning and headed to a place that the locals recommended.  The food was delicious but by the end of dinner, Reid was practically asleep in his plate.  It was so endearing that the team couldn’t help but coo over him.  They got back to the hotel and Reid collapsed on the bed, still completely dressed.

Aaron gently got him ready for bed, removing his shoes, socks, belt, tie, pants and button down, leaving him in just his undershirt and boxers.  He decided he was going to shower tonight and tucked Reid in, kissing his head sweetly.  He showered and changed and climbed into bed with Reid, who was so sound asleep he didn’t even move.  Aaron pulled the younger man close, breathing in the rich scent that was pregnant Reid.  It was so intoxicating and Aaron lost himself in the smell.  He didn’t even realize when he drifted off to sleep.

The next day went much the same, trying to figure out who the UnSub was before he killed again.  At 1:30 in the afternoon, they got the call that another woman had been found.  Hotch initially balked at letting Reid come, but realized he had no actual reason to keep him back.  Not even JJ was staying behind.  The body was in the same shape as the others, mutilated and raped and beaten, but nothing gave away any more clues than the first bodies had.  They left an hour later, even more frustrated than when they’d shown up.  

It took two more days and one more body before they finally put the pieces together.  Reid, of course, was the one who finally found the thing they’d been missing who pointed to a rookie cop, who’d been benched almost immediately out of training for excessive force.  The BAU, the precinct, the local FBI agents and a SWAT team descended on his house.

Hotch took the lead, as always.  “Daniel McIntyre!” He called, standing outside the door with his gun drawn.  “Daniel McIntyre, come out with your hands up.  You are surrounded.  We know what you have been doing.  It’s over now.” He called, his voice hard and fierce.

Reid had promised to stay in the SUV, wearing a vest.  He was watching the whole thing unfold.  He knew Hotch was good, the best even, but his nerves were up.  

“Never gonna happen!” Daniel screamed back.  “I’m not going to no jail!”

“It’s too late, Daniel.  Come out now or we’ll be forced to come in and get you.” Hotch called again.

“No!” He yelled.  Hotch murmured something into his comm, then Derek stepped forward, kicking the door down.  Suddenly, there was an explosion of gunfire and Reid held his breath.  He’d been here, seen this, a thousand times.  There was no reason to believe that anything had happened, but he knew instantly, he knew in his gut that Hotch had been wounded.  He held his breath, waiting for the smoke to clear and to hear his mate’s voice call out his all clear.  

The minutes were torturously slow and he could hear a mix of voices, screaming and yelling.  More gunshots and finally everything went silent.  He still waited to hear Hotch’s voice.  “He’s gone.” Came Morgan’s voice, much tenser than it should have been if he was calling that the UnSub was dead.  “We need medics, we have agents down.  Repeat, agents down!” He called.

Spencer didn’t even realize that he was moving until he was halfway across the yard with JJ and Prentiss yelling after him.  He felt sick in a way that had nothing to do with his morning sickness.  He knew that Hotch was hurt and he knew it was bad.  He flew into the house and ran directly into Morgan. “Whoa! Spencer! Stop!” He called.

“Where is he? What happened?” He cried out, looking around for his mate.

“Slow down.” Morgan tried again.

“I swear to God, Morgan, if you don’t tell me where my mate is RIGHT now, I will deck you!” He screamed.  

“He’s right here.” Came Rossi’s voice.  “He’s in bad shape, Spencer.” Spencer looked down to see Rossi holding pressure on a wound in his shoulder.  Another agent had pressure on a wound in his leg.  Spencer felt his entire world stop as he looked at them, covered in his mate’s blood.

The medics pushed through and came straight for Hotch.  He was unconscious and bleeding badly.  They got him quickly onto a stretcher and Spencer started to follow.  “Sir, you can meet us at the hospital.” The female paramedic told him.

“He’s…” Spencer could barely talk.  Aaron was so pale and he was still bleeding.  

“That’s his mate.” Rossi said, coming up behind him.  “Let him come with you.”

“I’m sorry, he’s losing too much blood.  We don’t have room for him in the ambulance.  Follow behind and I’ll make sure the medical staff knows he has a mate here.” She said.  Rossi gently pulled Reid back, his hands still soaked in Aaron’s blood.  They got him loaded, slammed the doors and sped out.

As soon as the ambulance was out of sight, Spencer dropped to the ground and let out a cry that had everyone around him feeling his pain.  Rossi grabbed him in a hug and held him as he sobbed.  “Come on, Spencer, let’s get to the hospital.” He said.

He ended up needing JJ’s help to get Reid up and into a car.  A local fed drove them to the hospital and Reid was close to catatonic as they rushed into the ER.  Rossi threw his badge open to the desk nurse.  “FBI, our agent Aaron Hotchner was just brought in with gunshot wounds.  This is his mate, Spencer Reid.  He’s pregnant.”

She glanced at her computer.  “He’s in the ER now, but they’re prepping him for surgery.  He’s lost a lot of blood and is currently in critical condition.” Spencer let out a little sob at that.  “If you want to come with me, you can see him before they move him to the OR.” She said to Spencer.

Spencer couldn’t seem to do anything, so Rossi gently guided him forward, following the nurse.  Aaron’s clothes were gone and a sterile white hospital gown covered him.  He had IV lines and wires everywhere and an oxygen mask over his face.  Spencer moved towards him, running his hands over his face and through his hair.  “Aaron, you have to be okay.  You have to.  I can’t do this alone.” His free hand came to his stomach.  “You promised you’d be here.  I love you, Aaron.  I love you so much.” He said.  

An orderly came in to move him to the OR.  “Wait!” Spencer cried, grabbing Aaron’s hand and placing it on his belly.  “For our baby.  Please.” He said.  The orderly moved quickly and Spencer was left in a room covered in blood and bandages.  The blood of his mate, the blood he’d tasted when they finished their bond.  The blood that now ran in their baby’s bloodstream.

“I don’t...feel...so…” He started, then completely collapsed in Rossi’s arms.

Chapter Text

Chapter Fourteen - Aftermath

Wanna scream out, no more hiding

Don't be afraid of what's inside

Gonna tell ya you'll be alright

In the aftermath

Aftermath: Adam Lambert

Spencer woke up being held in Rossi’s arms, while a nurse held smelling salts under his nose.  He jolted away from them and looked around.  “What happened?” He asked.

“You fainted.” Rossi said, his voice with an edge to it.  He’d really scared the older man.  “We’re going to let this nice nurse help you up, get you into a room and checked out.” He said.

“No, no, I’m fine.  I just…” He took a breath.  “Aaron?” He asked.

“Aaron just left, they don’t even have him in surgery yet.” Rossi explained.  

“I don’t need to be looked at, I’m okay.” He promised.  He let them help him up.  

“We have a room for you all to wait for word on your friend.” The nurse said.  “I’ll get you some coffee and some food.” She led them, Reid still leaning heavily on Rossi, to the room where JJ was already waiting.  She jumped up, seeing Rossi help Reid.

“I’m okay.” He said, though his legs were still shaking.  

“Okay, well let’s get you sitting down.” JJ said, leading him to the nearest chair.  “When was the last time you ate, Spence?” 

“I’m...uh...I’m not sure.” He said.  His head still felt foggy and the room was spinning.  The nurse was back with a handful of granola bars and a few water bottles.  JJ immediately opened a water bottle and handed it to him.  

“Drink.” She ordered and Spencer followed her instructions.  She glanced up at Rossi, who looked almost as bad as Reid.  “Rossi, there’s a bathroom in here, why don’t you go clean up.” She suggested gently.  He nodded, and headed in.  The nurse came back, bringing muffins, coffee, and ginger ale.  

“Mr. Hotchner?” She asked Spencer.

“Uh, it’s Dr. Reid, actually.” He said, still spaced out.  

“Dr. Reid, I’d really like it if you let me check your temperature and blood pressure.  I know that you are pregnant and I’d just like to make sure you’re okay.” She said.  Spencer didn’t respond, lost in his own world.  JJ nodded and helped the nurse pull up Reid’s sleeve.  “His blood pressure is high, but not worrisome.” She said.  “He’s probably in shock.  I’m going to get a cot, I’d like him to lay down.  I’m also going to bring in blankets, he needs to stay warm and shock will send his temperatures plummeting.  Keep a close eye on him and come get me if you need anything.” 

“Thank you.  There should be others from our team coming soon, Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss.  Can you make sure they get back here to us?” JJ asked her.

“Sure.  We’ll keep you posted on Mr. Hotchner.” She promised.  She came in with more supplies, the cot and the blankets and eventually left them alone.  Rossi finally came back, his shirt open and wet in several spots where he’d scrubbed at blood.  But all the blood was now gone from his hands and face.  

“How is he?” He asked.  JJ had moved him to the cot and covered him with several blankets.  As the nurse had predicted, he was shivering, his teeth chattering.  He was almost completely out of it, he didn’t react to either of the others talking about him.

“I don’t know.” She said, honestly.  “The nurse said he’s probably in shock and to keep him warm.”  Rossi nodded, heading to the coffee pot she’d brought in and making himself a cup.  Once he’d had his cup, he began to look around.  “What are you looking for?” She asked.

“Something to make tea.  Reid hasn’t been drinking coffee since he got pregnant, but he drinks a lot of tea.  I thought a hot drink might help.” He said.  JJ was laying on the cot with Spencer in her arms.  He was awake, though not coherent.  He stared, unblinking, at the wall, still shivering.  

He located the water and the tea bags and made a cup of tea, putting in plenty of sugar.  He moved over to the cot.  “Spencer.  I need you to sit up.” He said.  Spencer turned his eyes toward him, but made no effort to move.  “Come on, buddy, sit up for me.” He coaxed.  It took about ten more minutes, but finally, he was able to sit up.  “Great job, Spencer.  Here’s some tea, I think it’ll help warm you up.” He said, handing him the tea, but keeping his hands around Spencer’s, just in case he dropped it.  “Come on now, take a little sip.  It’s nice and sweet, just how you like it.”

Rossi and JJ managed to get him to drink the tea and then he laid back down.  His eyes drifted shut and soon he was asleep, though they both knew that nightmares would plague him.  About an hour after they’d arrived, Morgan and Prentiss showed up.  They opened the door and both JJ and Rossi put their fingers to their mouths and pointed to Reid.  

“How’s Hotch?” Morgan asked, keeping his voice low.

“Still in surgery, no word yet.” JJ told him.

“And Reid?” Both their eyes dimmed slightly.

“He’s not doing great.  We got him to sleep and he’s stopped shivering, so hopefully that’s good.  He passed out after they took Aaron to surgery, but he did get to see him briefly before they took him up.” Rossi said.

“And...the baby?” Morgan asked.

“So far, he’s seemed to be okay.  No cramping, no bleeding.  His blood pressure was high, but the nurse who checked him said it wasn’t too high.  She also said it was probably because of the shock.” JJ said.  They all stared at each other, this was always the worst part, when one of them got hurt and the others couldn’t do anything except sit and wait to hear the fate of their family.  This was the first time they’d been in a hospital since Reid’s abduction and finding out he and Hotch were mates.

The hours ticked slowly and miserably by.  Fortunately, Spencer slept most of the night.  His body needed the sleep and no one was willing to wake him up, unless there was word on Hotch.  Spencer finally woke up and was quiet, sitting in the corner, sipping on another cup of tea.  Occasionally his hand would drift to his stomach and his eyes would close as if he were blocking out something.  Six hours after they’d arrived, a doctor came into the room, causing everyone to stand up and crowd him.

He put his hands up and they backed off.  Rossi and JJ flanked Spencer, in case the worst had happened and he collapsed again.  “Hello, my name is Dr. Fuentes.  I operated on Aaron Hotchner.”

“Is he…” Spencer couldn’t get out anymore than that.

“He’s doing fine.  He came through the surgery spectacularly and he’s in recovery.  In fact, he should be waking up soon.” There was a noise of relief and Spencer’s legs did falter, though he didn’t fall thanks to his two pillars.  He reached for a chair anyway and they helped him sit down.

“One of the bullets went clean through and the other lodged in his shoulder.  We were able to remove it and stop the bleeding.  Miraculously, there were no bone breaks and no arteries were hit.  He’ll probably be out of work for a few weeks, then be good as new.” He promised, smiling at the team who were now all crying.

“Can I...I’m his mate.” Spencer said, trying to stop crying long enough to talk.

“I can bring you up there now.  It’s only one at a time and until he’s out of recovery, it’ll just be his mate that’s allowed.” They all nodded and started hugging each other.  Reid took a huge breath and followed the doctor.  “He’ll probably be very groggy, he’s just coming out of the anesthesia.” He warned, letting them into the room.

The beeps of the machines were soothing to Reid, they meant alive.  They meant Aaron was alive and recovering.  He was out of it, though he did look less pale than he had before they’d wheeled him out to surgery.  Sensing that Spencer was struggling, the doctor pulled a chair next to the bed, patted his shoulder and left them alone.

Spencer picked up Aaron’s hand, relishing the warmth and squeezed it.  “Aaron, it’s me, it's Spencer.  I’m right here, with you.  Just like you’re always with me.” He whispered, his emotions spilling out everywhere.  He took the hand and moved it to his stomach.  “Baby is here, too.  You did it, Aaron, you came through like you always do.  Now, I just need you to wake up so I can yell at you for scaring us half to death.” He said.

A slight groan and he put his free hand on Aaron’s shoulder to keep him from moving.  “That’s right, it's me.  I’m right here.  You’re doing great, Aaron.”

“Spence?” Came the slurred voice and Reid couldn’t even stop the tears pouring down his face.  

“I’m right here.” He promised.

“Hap’n?” He asked, fighting to open his eyes.  Spencer began to stroke his hair and he leaned into the touch.

“You got him, you found the UnSub but…” His voice broke again.  “You got shot.  You’re in the hospital, you’re going to be fine.”

“Baby?” He asked.

“Me and the baby are fine, you are the one coming out of surgery.  Now, let me see those eyes.  I need to see you, Aaron.” He said.  It took a monumental effort, but Aaron managed to open his eyes and Reid placed his hand over his mouth as sobs overcame him.

“Lil...love...don...cry.” He murmured.  

“I love you, I love you so much.  Never do this to me again, please, I can’t lose you.” Spencer pleaded.

“Will...ne’er...leave…” His voice petered out as he drifted back to sleep.  

Chapter Text

Chapter Fifteen - He Lives In You

Wait

There's no mountain too great

Hear these words and have faith

He lives in you

He Lives In You - Lebo M.

The hospital insisted on keeping him for two days, then finally cleared him to fly home.  The team had stayed since Spencer wouldn’t leave and they were worried about him.  Hotch was on medical leave for two weeks, then he was cleared for desk duty.  There had been a lot of paperwork piling up and Hotch barely had time to settle in before realizing how much work he actually had to do.  

Spencer was still struggling with his morning sickness and he couldn't wait for that to end.  He was already twelve weeks and because he was so skinny, he was starting to show, just slightly.  He hadn’t realized until a rainy Tuesday morning.  He had climbed in the shower and was getting ready for work, alongside his mate.  He pulled on his pants and realized that they wouldn’t quite close.  He struggled for a minute before huffing in frustration. 

“Spence?” Aaron asked, turning to face him.  “What’s wrong?”

“I’ve been throwing up everything I eat for weeks, but I can’t close my pants!” He complained.  Aaron was at his side in seconds, gently lifting his shirt.  He gasped, slightly, realizing that for the first time, he could actually see evidence that Spencer was pregnant.

He put his hand over the tiny swell.  “Hi there, I’m your Alpha Daddy.” He greeted.

“Aaron.” Spencer said, still frustrated over his pants.

“And that’s your Omega Daddy.  He’s a little irritated right now, but once he realizes how AMAZING this is, how amazing you are, he’ll calm down.” He continued to talk to his belly and Spencer started to smile.  “I cannot wait to meet you.  Well, I can wait...you finish cooking in there.” He instructed and Spencer let out a laugh.  “Spencer, I can actually see the baby.” He said, tears forming in his eyes as he looked up at his mate.  He moved from kneeling on the floor to standing and pulled Spencer into a tight hug.  “My God, I love you.”

Spencer’s eyes welled with tears, too.  “Not fair, you know I’m emotional!” He sniffed, holding onto his mate.  

“I can’t believe I can actually see him now.” Aaron said, rubbing his back as they held each other.

“Him, huh?” Spencer asked.

“Just a suspicion.” He said.

“Don’t forget that my appointment is tomorrow.  You...you’ll be there, right?” He asked.

“Try to stop me.” He started kissing Spencer and Spencer kissed him back.  Finally, Spencer pulled away.

“I still can’t fit in my pants.” He said, trying again to close the button.  Aaron helped him use some safety pins to close the pants.  With the clothes he wore, you couldn’t see the bump at all, which made Aaron a little sad.  But Spencer was glad, he wasn’t ready to have people touching him constantly.  

Spencer’s appointment was for late afternoon the next day, so the two men went to work as normal, but left a little early.  Spencer had been nervous when Aaron was called into a meeting an hour before they were supposed to leave, but he was ready and waiting for Spencer at the designated time.  As they drove to the doctors, Spencer was unusually quiet.  Aaron took his hand and asked, “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“I’m nervous.” He admitted.

“I am, too.” Aaron told him and that made Spencer smile and relax.  They checked in and were called back fairly soon.  Spencer had to change into a gown and sat down on the table, a blanket over his legs to keep him warm.

After a quick exam from the nurse, Dr. Seymour was quick to come in as well.  “Hello gentleman, how are we doing?  I heard you had some excitement a few weeks back.”

Spencer frowned.  “He’s doing much better now.” He said.

“I’m glad to hear it.  How are YOU doing?” She asked.

“The morning sickness has been really bad.” He told her.  “Plus the dizziness and I’ve been getting headaches, too.”

“You didn’t tell me about the headaches.” Aaron said.  Spencer smiled gently at him.

“They just started happening a few days ago.” He said, reaching out for his mate’s hand.

“That’s all fairly common.  You have been able to keep down some food?” She checked and Spencer nodded.  “Then I’m not worried.  Can I have a feel?” She asked.

Spencer laid back, still holding Aaron’s hand, as the doctor lifted his gown and palpated his belly.  It was slightly uncomfortable, but it didn’t actually hurt.  She smiled up at them.  “Well, everything looks good here, you ready for an ultrasound?” She asked and they both nodded.

They got everything set up and Spencer was ready for the cold gel this time.  Seeing their baby on the screen got them both choked up again.  “Heart rate looks good, size looks good.  I’d say you have a healthy baby in there.” She said, moving the wand around.

“You’re sure?” Spencer asked, his voice thick with tears.  Aaron squeezed his hand, not taking his eyes off their child.

“I’m sure.” She smiled.  

“Do you know what the gender is?” Aaron asked.

“Not yet, we’ll probably be able to tell at the next appointment.” She explained.  She printed out more pictures and finished cleaning him up.  “So far, everything looks great.  You are very healthy and so is your baby.  Congratulations on making it through the first trimester.  Hopefully your morning sickness eases up, but if it gets worse, you can contact my office and we can prescribe something for you.” Spencer made a face, but said nothing.  Aaron squeezed his hand again.  “I’d like to see you back in six weeks, unless something comes up before then.  And you…” She said, turning on Aaron.  “No more shootouts, the stress isn’t good for either of you.” She winked and headed out of the room.

They scheduled their next appointment and headed out to the car.  “Stop for food on the way, I’m too hungry and too tired to cook something.” Spencer said, closing his eyes and laying his head against the headrest.

“Are you alright?” Aaron asked, worried.

“Yes, I just...I was really nervous that something was going to be wrong.  Now...I’m relieved and tired.  And hungry.” He added.  Aaron chuckled, leaning over to kiss Spencer before putting the car into drive.

Spencer still struggled with some morning sickness, but it was definitely starting to ease.  The dizziness was almost completely gone and his headaches were rare, but still happening.  He made sure to tell Aaron everything and Aaron was taking amazing care of him.  They were still working cases and Aaron was much more careful now, running into dangerous situations.  Rossi had told him everything that had happened with Reid at the hospital and felt terrible for causing his mate so much pain and terror. 

Spencer was sixteen weeks along, and had just had to go buy new pants as even the safety pins were no longer working.  He was only belly, but it was definitely starting to become noticeable.  Enough so that the last case they’d been on, the LEO’s had commented on a pregnant Omega working and Reid had nearly torn their heads off.  

As they entered the office, JJ was running and that was never a good sign.  “We have a case, briefing room in two.” She called over her shoulder.  They both shed their bags and headed up there.  The case was bad and the locals were in deep trouble.  They’d been told to call in the FBI earlier, but had insisted they had everything under control.  Three days later, their killer had gone on a spree and murdered six more people in two days.  Now they were getting their asses handed to them and the BAU was to report immediately.  They knew that it was going to be a miserable case, since it always was when locals didn’t want the feds in their business.

After a quick briefing, and looking over the case files, Hotch agreed they needed to get there and fast.  The killer was devolving and there were only going to be more and more kills until they were caught.  “Wheels up in thirty.” He commanded and everyone broke to get ready.

“You need to tap out?” Hotch asked, as he always did.  Spencer shook his head and headed to his go bag.  He printed off some forms that JJ asked him to grab and followed the team out and to the jet.  He was glad that movement no longer made him nauseous, the jet trips had been much more pleasant since that had stopped.

They were all sitting fairly close to each other to pour over the case files they’d been sent.  Garcia was sending them more information as it came up and Morgan had been relegated to go-fer between the team and the printer on the jet.  They were discussing the earliest victims when Spencer suddenly sat bolt upright, put his hands on his belly and exclaimed.  “Oh!  Oh my God!” 

Everyone turned to him in a panic.  “What’s wrong?  Is it the baby?” Aaron asked.

“Yes...I mean no.  I mean, yes it’s the baby...I felt it!” He said, eyes wide and excited and the others on the plane relaxed.  

“You felt it?” Aaron asked him.

“I’ve actually been feeling it since yesterday, but I didn’t realize what it was.  It feels like...butterflies.  But that last one, I can tell, it's the baby.  I feel the baby.” He was grinning from ear to ear.  Despite the tragedy of what they were looking at, Spencer couldn’t feel anything but thrilled for feeling their baby for the first time.

Aaron’s hand immediately went to where Spencer’s was, to try to feel for himself.  “I don’t think you’ll be able to feel him yet.” Spencer said, softly and sadly.  Aaron just smiled and leaned in to kiss Reid.  They typically didn’t engage in displays of affection in front of the team, but he figured they could be lenient, since Spencer HAD just felt their baby for the first time.  Predictably, no one said anything but they couldn’t hide their soft smiles at the happiness of their friends.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to derail our conference.” Spencer said, after a moment.

“I think that’s a pretty worthy interruption.” Rossi grinned and Spencer ducked his head, blushing like crazy.

They arrived in Denver and were immediately piled into cars and taken to the small town where it seemed the murders were centered.  There was no time to celebrate anything as they got right to work, trying to profile the killer before he struck again.  The LEO’s weren’t thrilled having them there, but had been told in no uncertain terms that they were getting help, so they didn’t actually hinder the profilers.  By that night, there were three more women murdered and everyone was frustrated.

The BAU headed to the local hotel and checked in, heading to their rooms to get some sleep after a thoroughly exhausting day.  Once Spencer and Aaron were in their room, Spencer pressed Aaron into a wall, kissing him hard and pressing up against him.

“What’s gotten into you?” Aaron chuckled.

“I’m horny and I felt our baby and we didn’t solve a murder and I need you to fuck me.” He said, barely a breath between words.  Aaron laughed again, not meanly and Spencer grinned as well.

“The books did say you’d have an increased libido in the second trimester.” Aaron said, kissing him hard and letting Spencer grind on him.  “I guess I’d better take you to bed.”

“Right. Now.” Spencer demanded, pulling away slightly.  Aaron took advantage, spinning them and basically throwing Spencer into the bed.  They both kissed and laughed as they pulled off clothes and groped, acting like teenagers.  He’d never seen Spencer so needy, not even in the throws of his heat.  The baby bump was more pronounced, but still small.

Aaron kissed it a few times, before moving down and taking Spencer into his mouth.  Spencer gasped, hips arching and reaching down for Aaron’s hair.  He loved Aaron’s hair - it was so dark and thick and gorgeous.  He hoped their baby got Aaron’s hair.  For now, he held on and Aaron sucked him off.

“Wait!” Spencer gasped, pulling at that luscious hair.

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asked, his lips red and looking the very picture of debauched.  It made Spencer ache.  

“I’m close.  I want you in me when I come.” He explained.  Aaron had been fingering him, but he doubled his efforts and the sounds Spencer made drove him crazy.  “I’m ready, I’m ready!” He begged and Aaron could never resist him when he begged for anything.  He slid in and they both groaned.  “No, don’t wait, just fuck me.” Spencer pleaded.

Aaron set a hard pace that had them clinging to each other and groaning.  “Can you come like this? Only on my cock?” Aaron growled in his ear.

“God!” Spencer gasped.  “I don’t...I don’t...know.” He replied.  “Touch me.” He said.

“No.” Aaron told him, biting at their bonding mark.  “Come on, little love, come without me touching you.  Come only from my cock fucking you.” He said and Spencer seized up.  It took Aaron a little by surprise, he hadn’t thought he’d actually be able to do it, and Spencer’s orgasm triggered his own.  They were both trying to catch their breath and they held onto each other, trading soft, slow kisses.  “Spencer, that was amazing.” He whispered in awe.

“I can’t believe that just happened.” He panted.  “I didn’t think I could.”

“You were gorgeous, taking me and coming apart for only me.” Aaron told him.  He reached around and placed his hand over Spencer’s belly.  “I love you both, so much.  More than you could ever know.” 

“I know how much you love me.” Spencer replied, his voice quiet and serious.  “It’s how much I love you.  I can’t wait to meet this baby.  I can’t believe I felt him move today.  It was...oh Aaron, it was incredible.  I could feel the life that you put in me, move around my body.  I’ve never...the connection was…” He couldn’t seem to put into words what he was trying to say.

“I can’t wait until I can feel him.” Aaron said, rubbing slightly over the bump.  They lay there for a few minutes, before finally getting up and taking a shower.  They climbed into bed and collapsed into sleep.

By midday, the next day, they had put together an accurate profile and had Garcia and the LEO’s going over as many people as they could to see if the profile fit.  They finally got a hit and took off after him.  They found him, with three more women bound and gagged in his car, and got him into handcuffs without much of a fight.  Spencer, Emily and Morgan were comforting the terrified women and Rossi and Hotch were going through his van.  

Once they had him back at the station, it didn’t take long for him to start talking.  He confessed to all of the murders, including ones that no one had realized had been part of his MO.  They were all disgusted and knew he would rot in prison, where he belonged, for a long time.  They finished up all the paperwork, shook hands with the locals, and headed back to the jet.

Spencer was excited to realize that he could feel the baby moving again.  “I think he likes flying.” He said, then paused and frowned.  “Or he really, really hates it.”

Most of the team were resting and relaxing, having gotten very little sleep while on the case.  Hotch ordered them on a 24 hour stand down, which was typical following a case.  They needed to be ready when the next case came in.

Chapter Text

Chapter Sixteen - The Best Thing

Never want to run 

Frightened to believe 

You're the best thing about me

The Best Thing: Savage Garden

Reid was definitely showing now and his libido was on overdrive.  They had hit the eighteen week mark and they were both excited about going back to the doctor.  It was likely they’d find out the gender, though they both continually referred to the baby as ‘him’.  Cases came and went and the team was doing some of their best work.

They’d had to move the doctor’s appointment, since they were flying home from their last case, but that meant they had the whole day together.  They showered and got dressed and decided to go out for breakfast before the appointment.  Reid found that his morning sickness was gone, but had been replaced by raging hunger.  Despite that, he’d barely gained any weight.  He was still skin and bones, but now with the baby bump protruding.  Aaron couldn’t keep his hands off the bump and rubbed and talked to the baby every single day.  Reid thought it was completely endearing and simply fell harder and harder in love with his mate every single day.  

They were back in the office, Reid in a gown when Dr. Seymour came in.  “Look at you! You are glowing!” She said, smiling at them.  

“Thank you.” He replied, shyly.  

“Well, you look amazing, how do you feel?” She asked.

“Umm, pretty good.” He told her, with a shrug.  “Morning sickness is gone, I have a lot of energy, I’m starving all the time, and I feel the baby move quite a bit.” He said.

“That’s great.” She glanced at Aaron.  “Have you been able to feel baby yet?” She asked.

“No, not yet.” He said, trying not to sound as disappointed as he felt.  

“No worries, probably within the next few weeks you’ll start to feel it.  Unfortunately, that means it’ll get a little more uncomfortable for you, Spencer.” She told them.  They went through some more medical information before she pulled out the ultrasound.  “Now, if we can see, do you want to know what baby is?” She asked, squirting the gel and making Spencer jump.

The two mates looked at each other.  They’d both thought and talked about it and in the end, Aaron had said he was leaving the decision to Spencer.  Spencer had gone back and forth wanting to be ready and wanting to be surprised.  “Yes.” Spencer finally said, looking at Aaron and smiling.  Aaron returned the smile and took his hand as he laid back and she began moving the wand.

“Well, baby’s heart rate is perfect.  Exactly where I’d want to see it for eighteen weeks.” She said.  “Baby is just a little small for their size, but that’s nothing to worry about at this stage.” She promised.  “All the organs look healthy and baby is right on track.  I do see something pretty interesting…” She said.  Her tone was light, but both Spencer and Aaron were on edge.

“Something’s wrong?” Aaron asked, alarmed.

“Not unless you had your heart set on this baby being a girl.” She smiled at them, pointing at what was obviously a male member.

“It’s a boy?” Spencer choked, his eyes filling with tears and spilling over in an instant.

“It’s a boy.” She confirmed.

“Aaron, it’s a boy, we’re having a boy.” He sobbed and Aaron leaned down to hug and hold his mate, barely holding back his own tears.

“Our son.” He said, kissing every inch of Spencer’s face.  “He’s beautiful, and so are you.” 

Dr. Seymour let them have their moment, keeping the ultrasound on and allowing them to enjoy seeing their baby and hearing his heartbeat.  She printed more pictures for them, including one where you could definitely tell that the baby was a boy.  Reid reached out, tracing his finger over the picture on the screen.  “Hi baby boy.  We’re your daddies and we love you so much.” He said, barely able to talk through the tears.

Dr. Seymour smiled, loving this part of her job.  She finally finished up and Aaron helped Spencer clean up.  She let him get redressed and then went through information with him.  What constituted seeking medical help, what to expect and what was normal for him to be feeling.  She made sure they both had the emergency numbers.  “Dr. Reid, one last thing.  I know that the work you do for the FBI is extremely important, not only to society but to you.  I will, however, ask that you start limiting the time you are overly stressed.  You and your son are both perfectly healthy right now, but stress affects pregnancy fairly heavily.  If you need to take more time off, then I suggest you do it.”

Spencer wouldn’t even look at Aaron when she said that, but nodded his head to show he understood what she was saying.  She had them make another appointment for one month from now, told them to call if they needed anything and sent them on their way.  Neither man said anything until they got into the car.  “Spence…” Aaron started.

“Don’t.  I don’t want to talk about it yet.” He said, refusing to turn and look at his mate.

“I’m not going to say anything.  I just want you to know that I love you and I love our son.  I’m so proud of you.” He said, after a moment of consideration.  Finally Reid turned to look at him.

“I love you, too.” He said.

“I can’t believe we’re having a son.” Aaron mused, pulling out of the doctor’s office.  “I hope he looks like you.”

“I hope he looks like you.  He’ll be so handsome, with that dark hair and dark eyes.  And I really hope he has your dimples, those things are like magic.  No one can resist those dimples.”

They were both excited to go into work the next day and share the news with their family, but ended up deciding they wanted to have them over instead.  They wanted to celebrate and they wanted to do it with their family.  Rossi, Prentiss, JJ, Morgan and Garcia were all invited to dinner that night.  Spencer’s energy was still way up, so he agreed to a trip to the grocery store and bought ingredients to make lasagna.  

They shared cooking duties and talked endlessly about their son and what they hoped for him as they cooked dinner.  By six, the doorbell started ringing and soon everyone was there.  The food smelled amazing and Aaron wouldn’t let Spencer serve, telling him to sit down and rest.  Once everyone had their food and drinks, Aaron and Spencer discreetly took hands under the table.

“Thanks for coming, everybody.” Spencer said, looking around at his family.  “We, uh, we have something we want to...share with you.” He said.  They all looked at him expectantly and Aaron squeezed his hand.  “We went to the doctor today...and, turns out, we’re having a boy.” He told them.

The table erupted in cheers and soon everyone was hugging and kissing Reid, putting their hands on his belly and he blushed furiously as they all fussed over him.  “You’re going to name him Rossi, right?” Dave joked and everyone laughed.

“No way, they’re going to name him Derek.” Morgan chimed in.

“We will let you all know once we decide on a name.” Aaron said, basking in the good natured teasing.  He glanced at Ried, then around the table at the sight of his friends.  His family.  He never in a million years thought he’d be this happy, but here he was, with a mate, having a son, and life couldn’t get much better.

Chapter Text

Chapter Seventeen - Ain’t No Sunshine

Ain't no sunshine when he's gone

It's not warm when he's away

Ain't no sunshine when he's gone

And he's always gone too long

Anytime he goes away

Ain’t No Sunshine: Bill Withers

Work was, for lack of a better word, boring.  They hadn’t had a case in three days and Reid had not only finished his own paperwork, he’d finished Emily’s and Morgan’s backlogged paperwork as well.  He’d flipped through cold cases, but found he really wasn’t feeling it today.  He ran his hands over his ever growing belly, frowning when it tightened for a few seconds.  He’d started having what his doctor said were Braxton Hicks contractions last week and they didn’t last long, nor were they particularly painful, but they were annoying.  

He reached for his water bottle and drank, having read that hydration was a good way to stop the false labor.  He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his belly some more.  “You okay, there, pretty boy?” Morgan asked, glancing over at him.

“Hmm?” Reid asked, distracted.  “Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” He said.  Morgan said nothing else, but watched him from the corner of his eye.  Reid was a damn good liar, but he was in a room of profilers that knew him better than anyone.

Ried glanced up at Hotch’s office, but it was still closed and empty.  Hotch had a bunch of meetings today.  He sighed, wishing he could be near the other man.  He wasn’t sure why his instinct was telling him to seek out Hotch, but they both acted completely professionally in the BAU anyway.  Aside from small, fleeting touches or quick, chaste kisses, their relationship was kept at home or occasionally on the plane where only BAU members could see.

Another false contraction started and it had a little more oomph .  Reid decided that he needed to get up and walk, so he (with only a little struggle) hefted himself out of his chair and carried his water bottle to the fountain, under the pretense of refilling it.  He wanted to rub at his back, which was starting to ache more than not, but he knew he was being watched.  He had just finished filling up his bottle when pain flashed through him.

It was sharp and hot and Reid doubled over, dropping the water bottle and clutching at his belly.  His belly was tight and he couldn’t think about anything other than the pain.  He hadn’t even realized it, but Morgan, Rossi and Prentiss were instantly at his side.  “What’s wrong?” Morgan asked, an arm around his waist to help.

“Hurts.” He managed to gasp.  “Aaron!” He pleaded.

“I’m on it.” Rossi said, rushing from his line of vision.  A few seconds later the pain let up and he was able to stand.  

“”What hurts, Reid? Is it the baby?” Morgan coaxed, keeping his voice calm and collected, like he would do with a victim.

“I...I don’t know.” He said, starting to shake.  “It’s gone now, but…” He looked around.  “I need Aaron.” He’d never used Hotch’s first name when they were at Quantico and Morgan knew he must be terrified.

“Why don’t you sit down-” Morgan started when Reid gasped again.

“Ow!” He yelped.  Suddenly, Aaron came running it, looking almost feral.  He snarled at Morgan, but then managed to calm himself down.  He put his hand under Reid’s chin and lifted his face so their eyes met.

“Little love, what’s wrong?” He asked.

“Hospital.” He managed to gasp.  “Pain, baby…” His hand was on his stomach and his eyes were filled with fear.  Hotch lifted him into his arms and rushed out of the office.  When he set him down in the car, he realized there was blood coming from Reid.  “Aaron!” Spencer begged.  “Please, please don’t let me lose him.” He gasped, groaning in pain.

“You aren’t going to lose him.” Aaron said, putting the lights and sirens on and making a mad dash for the hospital.  “Everything is going to be just fine.  I promise, little love.” He said, holding Reid’s clutching hand.  He pulled up in front of the ER, jumped out and carried Spencer in.  “My mate!  He’s bleeding and in pain.  He’s twenty weeks pregnant.  Someone help!” 

All at once, several doctors and nurses jumped into action.  Spencer was placed on a gurney and rushed into the ER.  He refused to let go of Aaron’s hand so Aaron ran alongside him.  There was so much happening and they both reeked of fear.  Aaron tried to calm down and produce calming smells to help his mate, but he couldn’t.  Spencer was crying, pleading with everyone not to let him lose the baby.

“Okay, he’s definitely having contractions and he is bleeding, but we’re going to take good care of him.” The ER doctor told Hotch.  “We’ve got him on medicine to help stop the contractions and he hasn’t lost enough blood to worry us.  His blood pressure and pulse is good.  We need to get both of you calmed down, though.  I need you to take a few deep breaths, then help your mate calm himself.” He instructed.  Hotch did as he was told.  It was almost impossible to calm down, but seeing Spencer terrified out of his mind made him pull himself together.  His mate and their baby needed him.

“Spence?  Spencer, honey?  I need you to look at me.”  Aaron coaxed and smiled when Spencer looked at him, his eyes filled with tears, pain, and fear.  “Good job, honey.  You have to calm down.  The doctors are helping but you have to help, too.  You need to try to relax and be calm, for our baby.” He said, placing his hand on Spencer’s stomach.

Spencer tried to stop crying and focused on Aaron.  Aaron put as much calming scent into the air as he possibly could, gratified when Spencer started sniffing and started to relax slightly.  “Good job, you’re doing great.” He praised.

Spencer had calmed down considerably, but suddenly scrunched his face in pain and squeezed Aaron’s hand so tight, he almost flinched.  “Aaron!” He called, desperately.  

“Breathe through it.  You’re doing great.  Breathe for our baby, he needs as much oxygen as you can give him.  I know it hurts, I’m right here little love.  Good job, good job.  I’m so proud of you honey.  You are already the best father in the world and our little boy isn’t even here yet.  He needs to stay in and you can help.  Deep breaths.” He coached as Spencer watched him like a hawk.  

About fifteen minutes later, Dr. Seymour came into the room and glanced at the chart before approaching Aaron and Spencer.  Spencer had only had one more contraction, and it was much less painful than the earlier ones.  Aaron had been babbling nonsense, trying to keep his mate calm and collected.  It seemed to be working, Spencer was completely anchored on Aaron’s voice.  “Hi boys.” She said, softly.

“Dr. Seymour.” Aaron greeted, not taking his eyes off Spencer.

“So, little man decided to give you a scare?” She asked and Spencer’s eyes filled with tears again.

“Is he gone?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” She said, preferring honestly with her patients.  “We’re going to do an ultrasound and see.  You ready to do that now?” She asked and Spencer nodded frantically.

Aaron was surprised that the grip on his hand could get tighter, but as Dr. Seymour got ready to do the ultrasound, Spencer was clutching him hard.  He didn’t know what either of them would do if their baby hadn’t made it.  He was holding his breath as she started up the machine.

There was no sound and Spencer let out a sound like a wounded animal.  “Shh, shh, it’s okay.” Aaron said, trying not to start crying himself.

“Hold on…” Dr. Seymour said, moving the wand around, but frowning at the screen.  Suddenly, the room filled with the woosh-woosh of a heartbeat.  She let out a breath and turned to the two men.  “There he is.” She said, with a smile.

“He’s...he’s alive?” Spencer asked.

“His heart sounds good, a little fast but not surprising.  He’s moving around and everything seems to be fine.  Just a little scare.” She soothed her patients.  Spencer cried out again, this time the cry sounding with relief.

“I thought...I thought I’d killed him.” He sobbed.  Aaron couldn’t resist any longer and climbed into the bed, pulling Spencer close and holding him tight.

“He’s doing just fine.” Dr. Seymour assured.  “But even if something had happened, it wouldn’t be your fault, Spencer.” She said.  “We’re going to keep you overnight, get the contractions completely stopped.  Then we’ll discuss where to go from there.” She said.  “Spencer, I want you to stay as calm as you possibly can.  Aaron can stay right here with you, he can even stay in the bed with you, if you want.  If you have more contractions, just breathe through them, don’t panic.  They should stop in the next hour.  We’re going to be monitoring both you and baby very closely, okay, so even if they pick back up we’ll be right here to stop it again.  I’m going to make sure you guys get some water, you need to stay hydrated, okay Spencer?” She asked.  He nodded, too overwhelmed to speak.  “I know how scary this was, but everything is okay.  Just try to relax, let your mate cuddle you.”

She made some notations on his chart, patted his hand sympathetically and left.  Spencer did his best to turn into Aaron, scenting him continually.  Aaron, in turn, scented Spencer as well.  He was so happy to smell pregnant , even through the fear.  Aaron held him close, murmuring soft words and praises.  He had two more small contractions, hardly painful at all and finally, fell asleep.

Once he was asleep, Aaron listened to the sound of his son’s heart beating.  He’d never take that sound for granted and it washed over him, like a balm.  A nurse came in, whispering to Hotch that there was a group of people in the waiting room waiting for word on Spencer.  He knew it was his team and they deserved to know what happened.  Spencer was well and truly asleep, so Aaron shifted out from under him.  He splashed some water on his face, knowing he looked terrible, and headed out to the group in the waiting room.

He was shocked to see more people there than he expected.  Almost everyone from their floor was there, Strauss, and quite a few others.  “How is he? How’s the baby?” Rossi asked, approaching first.

“They’re okay.” He said and a huge sigh of relief went through the group.  They hugged each other and tears were shed.

“What happened?” JJ asked, as everyone calmed down.

“I’m not sure, exactly.  He was having contractions and bleeding.  They got them stopped and the baby is still alive.” He surprised himself by losing it when he said that.  He burst into loud sobs and his knees buckled.  Rossi caught him and someone else grabbed a chair.  “I could have lost them both.” He realized.

“You didn’t.  They’re both alive.” JJ encouraged him.

“They’re going to admit him and keep him overnight.  The doctor said we’ll see where we go from there.” He said.

“We brought your go bags, but I bet you’d like some more comfortable clothes.” Garcia said, her voice soft and kind.  “Morgan and I can go by your place and pick up some stuff for you guys.”

“That’s…” He started, then realized he’d left his car in the entrance.  “I don’t know where my car is.” He said.  

“One of the staff moved it to parking.  We’ve got the keys.” Morgan told him.  

“Oh.  Thank you.” He managed.  “I really need to get back to him.”

“We love you both.  Take care of yourselves and if you need anything, just let us know.” Prentiss said.  Hotch suddenly realized that he didn’t have either of their cellphones, but she just passed both of them over.

“We’ll bring you guys some clothes and leave them with the desk.  They’ll get them to you.” Morgan told him and one by one, each person had a hug or handshake for him.  He was overwhelmed with the support, not from the BAU team, but from the others.  He headed back to Spencer’s room, glad to see that he was still asleep.

“We’re about to move him upstairs to the Omega unit.” An orderly explained, as he came in and began getting the bed ready to move.  Hotch nodded and followed upstairs.  The orderly got the bed into a room and locked into place.  He double checked all the wires and IV’s and left.  Aaron decided to climb into bed with Spencer again and simply hold him close.  The thought of losing one or both of them had been too much to bear and he held them close.

Chapter Text

Chapter Eighteen - Home

I'm going home

Back to the place where I belong

And where your love has always been enough for me

Home: Daughtry

All in all, Spencer spent a little over 48 hours in the hospital.  They’d stopped his contractions, but they wanted him monitored for at least 24 hours.  Aaron only left his side to use the bathroom.  They wouldn’t let Spencer get up, even to go to the bathroom, so despite his humiliation, Hotch had to help him go in a portable urinal.  Spencer’s face burned and he was ashamed that he wasn’t stronger for his mate.  He felt like an absolute failure, almost losing their child before he had even been born.

Hotch was happy to do anything and everything for Spencer, but he knew that he held a lot of guilt over what had happened, no matter how many times he or the doctor told him that there was no one to blame.  He hadn’t done anything wrong, it was just one of those things.  Spencer was barely talking to anyone, including Hotch, which was breaking the older man’s heart.  He wanted his vibrant mate back, but it seemed that this scare had drained the life out of him.

Dr. Seymour was ready to release him, but there were terms.  He was officially off field work, which frustrated him but he knew it was for the best.  She agreed that he could continue to work, as long as he was staying off his feet most of the time.  She told him he couldn’t go back for at least a week.  She did agree to let him fly with the team, but she insisted that someone be with him at all times when they weren’t at Quantico.  

Spencer kept his mouth shut about everything, still feeling so guilty that he would do anything if it meant protecting their son, even sacrificing his own happiness.  Aaron had hoped that Dr. Seymour would tell him no work at all, but she had explained privately that it would probably be more stressful if he had to completely stop, rather than be slowly weaned off little by little.  He agreed, even if he didn’t love the solution.

He’d been so grateful for his friends and family - they’d brought clothes and food and Garcia had told him she’d stocked their fridge with casseroles and ready-to-bake homemade meals for them.  The next morning, Spencer had so many cards, balloons and stuffed animals there almost wasn’t enough room for them.  He’d read each card with care and had already made a list so he could write thank you cards when he got home.

Dr. Seymour did a final check, proclaiming both father and son to be healthy and then had them sign the release paperwork.  Hotch helped him get dressed and settled into a wheelchair, then wheeled him out of the hospital.  He helped him into the car carefully, watching his face for any signs that he wasn’t okay.  “Aaron, I’m fine.” He promised, his voice soft.  “Let’s go home, please?”

Aaron nodded and drove them home.  Spencer didn’t say much of anything, simply watching out the window until they reached home.  Aaron hurried around to help Spencer out of the car and into the house.  “Bedroom or living room?” Hotch asked.

“Living room.” He decided and they walked there slowly.  Hotch helped him get comfortable and plied him with blankets.  “Really, Aaron, I’m okay.  Me and baby both.  Come sit with us.” He beckoned.

“Do you need anything?” He asked before he sat down.

“My mate.” He said, looking lovingly at Aaron.  Aaron sat down carefully and pulled Spencer into his arms.  “I love you.” Spencer told him, settling back against his chest.

“I love you, too.” He whispered.  After a minute, Spencer shifted and Aaron was on alert.  However, Spencer just took his hand and placed it on his swollen middle.  

“He’s moving around a lot.” He explained.  “I think you might be able to feel him.”  Spencer’s hand over Aaron’s, he pushed in a little and Aaron was startled when he felt something push back.  Aaron gasped and Spencer laughed.  “Say hello to your son.” He said.

Aaron pushed again, wanting to feel the baby against his hand.  “Hello son.” He whispered, his voice full of emotion and unshed tears.  “I hope you know how much you are already loved.” He told him and felt the push again.  “Oh Spencer, that’s amazing.” He said, kissing Spencer greedily.

“I know, everytime he moves I just feel…” He tried to explain.  “I love feeling him move and shift and knowing he’s inside me.  Knowing that in a couple of months we’re going to get to meet him and then he’ll be ours forever.”

“You are incredible, little love.” Aaron told him.

“I do want to talk about something kind of, uh, important.” Spencer said, letting Aaron prod his belly to feel their son.  It was a little uncomfortable but the joy radiating from Aaron was worth it.  

“You know you can talk to me about anything.” Aaron said.

“Oh yeah, no, I know.” He said, though he still hesitated.  Aaron had finally learned if he was quiet, often Reid would finally spill what was on his mind.  “I didn’t like the hospital.” He finally said.

“No one does.” Aaron agreed.  

“I mean…” He heaved a big sigh.  “I mean, I don’t want to have our baby in the hospital.” He said. 

“I don’t understand.” Aaron said, sounding confused.

“It’s too much.  The lights, the sounds, the impersonalness of it all.  I don’t want to be in the hospital to have our baby.” He said.

“Well, then where do you think you’d have it?” He asked, still confused.

“Here.” Spencer said, softly.

“On our couch?!” Aaron exclaimed.

“In our house.” He corrected, voice still soft.  “I was so scared, not only because of what was happening, but there were so many people.  Doctors and nurses and techs coming in and out.  I was only really calm when you started talking me through.  The lights are so harsh and do you know what they do when you’re actually having a baby?  They put your legs in stirrups, they put a spotlight on you.  They yell, telling you to fight your body and your own natural instincts.  Do you know it's actually harder for an Omega to give birth, lying on their back?  But it's the easiest way for doctors, so that’s what they do.”

“You’ve...looked into this.  Before everything happened, I mean.” Aaron said, coming to a realization.

Spencer simply nodded.  “Since I got pregnant.  Omega’s have been having babies since the dawn of time.  It’s completely natural.  What’s not natural is what modern medicine has turned it into.  I hate the thought of being there, of having my son taken away to be tested immediately after he comes out.  I want to hold him and soothe him.  I want to bond with him.  I want to have him here, with you and a midwife.” His voice was quiet, but calm and determined.  

“Can I...do some research?” Aaron asked.  “I’m not saying no, and I’m not telling you that I get to make the decision, because it IS your body, but I’d like to do some research.” He said.  Spencer nodded, letting out a little sigh.  “Did you think I’d automatically refuse to hear you out?” He asked.

“A little bit.” He confessed.  “I have a ton of books and research on hospital versus home births.  I’ll show it to you and we can talk some more?” He asked.

Aaron gently twisted Spencer’s neck so they could kiss properly.  “I love you Spencer, and I want you to be happy.  I’m not saying I think a homebirth is a good idea, yet, but you are the smartest person I’ve ever met.  I’m inclined to trust you, not only when it comes to your body, but when it comes to research.” His voice was filled with mirth and Spencer laughed, returning the kiss.  “What if something goes wrong?”

“We are ten minutes away from the hospital.  I think if we have a midwife here, someone who can tell us if something is seriously wrong, everything would be fine.” He said, sounding more confident.  

Aaron nodded, thinking it over.  “I promise I’ll do some reading on it tonight.” He said.  “Now, should we watch a movie?”

“Yes, you should snuggle me and let me fall asleep on you, because I am really tired.” He said.  Aaron laughed and pulled Spencer just a little closer, kissing down his face to his bonding mark and sucking gently on it.  “Stop it.  Dr. Seymour says no sex for at least a week.” He mock scolded.  Aaron laughed again and handed Spencer the remote, content to watch whatever his mate wanted.  He was so happy to have him here in his arms with their son.

Chapter Text

Chapter Nineteen - Count Me In

Even when you're gone

I feel you close

You'll always be the one

I love the most

You're in my heart, on my mind

You are underneath my skin

And anywhere, anytime, that you need anything

Count me in

Count Me In: Dove Cameron

Life slowly got back to normal.  Spencer was definitely going a little stir crazy at home, but understood that he needed to make sure that his baby was healthy, and that was his first priority.  His doctor cleared him for desk work and after two more weeks, cleared him to travel with the team.  He was told that he should avoid field work as much as possible and fortunately, there was always something to do at whatever police station they happened to be at.  

Only once did Hotch actually bring him into the field, because he needed Reid’s eyes at a crime scene.  Hotch stayed practically glued to his side and they didn’t stay long.  But now that his pregnancy was moving along, with thankfully no more complications, his doctor was encouraging him to get active.  She still didn’t want him doing field work, because of the stress, but she encouraged swimming or yoga or even just walking.

He and Hotch took to taking a walk every night after dinner.  Hand in hand, they walked around their neighborhood.  The early spring air was still cool, but Spencer found himself really enjoying the time with his mate.  They had made a registry and the girls made him promise that they could throw him a shower.  He agreed, albeit reluctantly, and dragged Hotch all over town that weekend, registering for gifts.

They cleared out one of the spare bedrooms (well, Hotch and Morgan did the heavy lifting) and Reid insisted that they tear out the carpet and replace it.  He picked out a soft yellow carpet to replace it and one weekend, Morgan simply did the job himself.  Hotch tried to help, but it turned out he was more of a hindrance.  Morgan did so much renovation, it was easy to install and he was happy to help his best friend prepare for his first baby.  

Reid agonized over the color of the nursery.  He didn’t want it to be blue, because he hated gender roles, but sat with paint samples for hours until Hotch finally took them away.  Hotch went through them, picked out five that he really liked and gave them back.  In the end, he picked a soft green that went well with the carpet and they bought paint.  The entire team decided to help out with painting (insisting, of course, that Reid sit in a chair and direct everyone how he wanted it to look).  

It seemed that every day he got bigger and bigger.  The soft, fluttering movements of his son were now a thing of the past and he rolled and jabbed and kicked, often knocking the wind out of him.  It thrilled Aaron to no end to feel their baby.  He often sat with his hands on Reid’s belly, just talking to the baby.  He told the baby stories and fairy tales and just talked.  Now, when he started talking, the baby would get excited to hear his daddy and start throwing punches.  

His back was hurting constantly because all he gained was baby weight and it threw off his gait.  His center of gravity was off and he tripped a lot, always being caught by one person or another.  The increased libido continued through his second trimester and stopped almost as soon as he hit his third.   

Then, he got miserable.  It was late spring, getting warmer and warmer every day and Reid was hot.  His back ached terribly and no matter how many massages Aaron gave him, he was always in pain.  He’d always kind of laughed at the Omega’s complaining about needing to pee constantly, but now that there was a 5lb kid living on his bladder, he regretted it deeply.  He couldn’t do anything without having to go to the bathroom every five minutes.  

He let the girls throw him a shower, under the conditions that Aaron was allowed to be there.  They went above and beyond anything he could have expected and by the end of the day, he was so overwhelmed, he’d broken down and cried.  Not that that was anything new of course, Reid broke down crying pretty frequently.  Commercials, songs on the radio, the way Hotch turned and only looked at him for two seconds, instead of the usual five...you name it and Spencer had cried over it.  But all in all, it was a beautiful shower and they were overwhelmed with things for the baby.

Aaron had done a lot of research and in the end, had agreed to Spencer’s wishes to have the baby at home.  All of the BAU had offered to be there with them, but Spencer only wanted Aaron.  They interviewed ten midwives before they finally found one they both liked.  She was a small, sweet unassuming beta named Liz and had been a midwife for twenty years.  She was no nonsense and told them if she suspected anything was going wrong, she would have an ambulance there instantly.  

That allayed some of Aaron’s fears.  Spencer loved Liz and she was a fount of information.  She made them practice all kinds of breathing and calming techniques.  She had agreed to bring an inflatable pool in case Spencer decided he wanted a water birth.  She was absolutely perfect for them.  

He’d made it to thirty-eight weeks without another incident and he felt disgusting.  He was officially on leave from work, the baby making it impossible to work as he was used to.  Hotch was still going to work everyday, but he wouldn’t be leaving on any cases until after the baby was born.  He was laying in bed, rubbing at his stomach and hurting everywhere when he heard the front door open.  He hoped Hotch had brought him some more cold cases, as he’d done what he could on the twenty he’d brought home yesterday.

“Spencer?” He called, though his voice wasn’t loud in case his mate was sleeping.

“Upstairs.” He called back.  “In the bedroom.”  Aaron walked in and couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face.  No matter what Spencer thought, Aaron thought he was beautiful.  Still lean as ever, the only weight on him was the baby bump.  His pajama pants were low, so the waistband was under his belly and the t-shirt he wore was just slightly too small and Spencer’s huge tummy peeked through.  It was just enough for Aaron to see his belly button that had popped out a number of weeks back.  

“Hello little love.” He greeted, fondly.

“Hey.” He responded, wincing as he tried to shift into a more comfortable position.

“You alright?” He asked, sympathetically as he watched his mate struggle.  He’d come to learn that if Spencer needed or wanted help, he’d ask for it and if he didn’t ask, he didn’t want help.

“This is the worst my back has felt.” He admitted.  “Aaron, it feels like it's on fire.”

“Would you like a massage?” Aaron offered, shedding his shoes and jacket, then pulling off his tie.

“I’d like a shower and a massage under the hot water.” He said, just wanting to stop aching for even a few minutes.

“I can do that.  Let me get the water running, then I’ll be back to help you up.” He said.  He phrased it as a statement, not a question.  Spencer was so big that once on his back, he couldn’t get up without help.  He started the water then returned to his mate.  “Anything interesting happen today?” He asked, with what he hoped was an air of casualness.  From the look he got, he doubted that Spencer was fooled.

“I told you I’d call you if I started having any kinds of contractions.  I’m just…” He blew out a frustrated breath.  “Huge and sore.” He paused, then added quietly.  “I can’t believe you can even stand to look at me.”

“Spencer!” Aaron said, shocked.  “You are the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen in my life.  This…” He placed his hand over Spencer’s belly.  “This is our son and you grew him.  You made him and kept him safe and healthy.  I love you more than life and you are honestly, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” He told him, before leaning in and capturing his lips.  Spencer sniffed and leaned into the kiss.  He’d never been this self-conscious before, but he felt miserable and Hotch still looked perfect.  “Come on, let’s get you in a hot shower and let me massage your back.  I know it's been killing you, even if you won’t admit it.”

“I’m admitting it now.” He mumbled.  “It hurts like hell.  I didn’t even know my back COULD hurt this much.” He said, as Aaron helped him strip off his clothes and step into the water.  It took only a minute for Aaron to shed his own clothes and step in behind him.  Spencer was leaning against the wall, letting the stream hit his lower back, where the pain was the worst.  “God, that feels good.” He said.

He groaned in pleasure when after a minute, Hotch’s hands started soothing the aching muscles, rubbing out the kinks and knots.  “Aaron, thank you.” He whispered.

“The pleasure is all mine.” He said, rubbing his hardening erection against Spencer’s butt.  Spencer had not been in the mood for a few weeks, but suddenly it was like he was on fire.  He turned and captured Aaron’s lips in a bruising kiss.  They groped and kissed for a while, before Aaron reached behind him and turned off the water.

“We’ll kill ourselves if we try this in the shower right now.  We’re not the most coordinated under the best of circumstances.” He teased and Spencer laughed.  

“Take me to bed.  Make love to me?” He asked.

“Always.” Aaron promised, as the two kissed their way into the room.  As much as he’d have loved to have thrown Spencer to the bed, he knew his mate was too sore and so he lowered him gently and tenderly.  Then, all bets were off.  They hadn’t made love in close to a month and they were both desperate for each other.  Both of them groaned when Aaron breached Spencer and he had to wait or else everything would have ended right there and then.  

Soon, they were moving against each other, nothing between them but love.  Spencer hit his release first and screamed in pleasure as Hotch took him in his hand and stroked him to completion.  Aaron wasn’t far after, grunting then pushing in hard and following his own release.  They collapsed, panting, to the bed and still held and kissed.  They both knew the baby would be coming soon and wanted as much time with each other as they could get.  “Don’t cook tonight.” Spencer said, pulling Aaron’s arms tighter around him.  “Order in.  Let’s stay in bed and eat and be together.  I think…” He paused, scared to admit anything out loud.  “I think it's going to happen soon.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty - Circle of Life

The next morning, Spencer woke feeling odd.  He knew, somehow in his gut, that today was going to be the day.  He did his best to roll over.  “Aaron?” He called softly.  Aaron groaned but cracked an eye to look at his mate.

“What?” He mumbled.  “My alarm hasn’t gone off, I still have more sleep.”

“Okay, just thought you might want to know that I’m pretty sure I’m going to have our baby today.” He said, with an air of faked casualness.  That snapped his eyes wide open and he sat up so fast he almost displaced Spencer.

“What?!” He said.  “Did your…” He started.

“My water hasn’t broken and I’m not having contractions, but it’s going to be today.  I can feel it.” He said.  He was still struggling to sit up and Aaron helped him right himself.  

“Okay…” Aaron said, obviously somewhat skeptical.  But he knew that Omega’s had instincts about this and if Spencer said this was it, he was probably right.  Once Spencer sat up, he felt a band of pressure across his belly and he took a breath and put a hand there to see if he could feel it from the outside.  “Spence?”

“Pretty sure that’s a contraction.” He said, staying calm and breathing through.  It wasn’t painful, just tight.  It let go after about fifteen seconds and Spencer grinned up at his mate.  “I think I’m in labor!” He said.

Aaron couldn’t help but laugh.  “Why are you so excited about going through labor?” He asked, hating the thought of his mate in pain.

“Because, when it's OVER, we’ll have our son.  We can hold him and snuggle him.  He’ll be here.” Spencer said, still smiling.  “Now, call Liz and let her know things have started.  Then call the BAU and let them know.  Then take a shower, calm down and come meet me downstairs for breakfast.” He told him.  He leaned over to kiss his mate, then slowly and awkwardly scooched himself out of the bed.

Spencer managed to get downstairs, though the going was slow, and began to pull out things to make breakfast.  He knew he was supposed to eat light, but now was a good time to eat, when he still felt somewhat okay.  He knew that Aaron needed to have his mini meltdown and then his mate would be back to his usual self.  He smiled again, rubbing the bump.  He’d miss it, but he was definitely ready to be done being pregnant.

He decided that scrambled eggs and fruit would make a good breakfast and started pulling out pans, eggs, bread, and some of the fruit salad they’d made a few days before.  It wasn’t too long before Aaron was downstairs, freshly showered and looking more alert than he had about thirty minutes ago.  He hadn’t had another contraction yet, so he knew this was the very early stages.

“You should be resting.” Aaron said, coming up behind him to take the spatula.

“Actually, I should be following my body.  I feel pretty good right now, let me make you breakfast.” He said, holding it just out of reach.  

“Liz said to call when your water breaks or your contractions get to five minutes apart.  Have you had any more?” He asked, reluctantly stepping back.  He glanced around the kitchen and decided to set the table.  The two worked around each other with ease.

“No, only that one.  Honestly, I really do feel good right now, which is odd because I haven’t felt this good in a long time.” He replied.  Then he paused and took a steadying breath.  “Second one.” He said.  It was over fast and again, didn’t even hurt.  

They got breakfast on the table and sat down, looking at each other in nervous anticipation.  They both laughed and started to eat.  Aaron told him that everyone at the BAU was so excited and couldn’t wait to meet the baby.  Spencer was glad he’d decided that he only wanted Aaron here.  The thought of his friends and family watching him in pain wasn’t a great thought.  He’d rather they just see the baby once he’d been born and they’d both been cleaned up.

Once they finished eating, they both cleaned up and then looked at each other.  “So, what do we do now?” Spencer asked.

“I guess it's up to you.  We can watch a movie or go lay down or we can go for a walk.” Aaron threw out some suggestions that he had seen in one of the many books he’d read.

“Actually, a walk sounds really good.” He said.  “Help me upstairs?” He asked, knowing that the stairs were always a challenge to go up.  Aaron helped him up and helped him change his clothes.  It was mid summer, so the weather was quite warm and Spencer was already hot enough.  Spencer had another contraction, but it barely lasted any time.  The two men held hands and started on their regular route.  They were moving slow because the baby had dropped and Spencer was waddling like a very tall penguin.  They’d been walking for about twenty minutes when Spencer stopped suddenly.  “Aaron? Contraction.” He announced.

He took a deep breath, this one had a little more force and a little bit of pain creeped in.  He kept himself calm and breathed through the thirty seconds of discomfort.  He let out his breath in a huff when it ended.  “Over?” Aaron asked.  Spencer nodded.  “That one was a little harder?”

“Yes, but it still didn’t hurt that much.  I know it’ll get worse.” He said.  “Come on, let’s keep walking.” He urged, pulling on Aaron’s hand and starting to walk again.

They had made eleven trips around the neighborhood and Spencer’s contractions were starting to get harder.  “Spence? Let’s go inside and get some air conditioning.” Aaron suggested, watching him falter and press his hands into his back.

“Yeah.” He agreed, wiping some sweat off his face.  They got home and the air conditioning felt amazing.  Aaron made sure he drank some water and then they settled on their couch.  “Can we...ah...watch a movie or something?  Just to take my mind off it?” He asked.

“Of course, what do you want to watch?” Aaron asked.  Spencer decided on Star Wars and Aaron got everything set up for him.  He made sure there was water within reach and settled behind his mate on the couch.  Spencer liked sitting like this, especially now.  It felt so comforting to have his mate literally surrounding him.

As the movie progressed, so did Spencer’s contractions.  It was starting to take some effort to stay on top of them.  Towards the end of the movie, Spencer sat up with a hiss.  “Ahh!” He moaned, lightly.  “Aaron?” He asked, reaching out his hands.

Aaron took them quickly and let Spencer squeeze.  “Breathe.” He reminded.

“It, um, it really hurts.” He said, trying to breathe through the squeezing pain.  Aaron kissed the back of his neck and held onto his hands.  It ended and Spencer relaxed again.  “They’re definitely getting worse.” He said, laying his head back onto Aaron’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?” He asked.  Spencer nodded.  “Do you need anything?”

“I think…” He paused to really think about what he wanted.  He was in control and was supposed to do whatever felt right.  But right now, he was scared.  He tried to push past the fear and took another fortifying breath.  “I think I want to go lay down.  I didn’t sleep much last night and I have a feeling this is going to be very tiring.”

“Okay.” Aaron agreed.  He got up, then helped Spencer up and assisted him upstairs.  He helped Spencer get in bed and get as comfortable as he could.

“Would you...would you lay with me?” He asked, a little nervousness coming through.  Aaron smiled and climbed into bed, pulling Spencer into his arms.

“Sleep, little love.  I’ll be right here.” He promised.

Even though Spencer had suggested laying down, Aaron was surprised when he fell asleep only minutes after laying down.  He did know that it was common for early labor to pick up, then ease off allowing the laboring parent to get some sleep.  Aaron watched Spencer and realized how scared he really was of watching his mate suffer through labor.  He knew the reward would be with it, but that was easy for him to say.  He wasn’t the one who would have to birth their baby.  He couldn’t believe that soon he’d get to meet his son.  See for the first time, the little human that he and Spencer had created.  Who would he look like?  What would his personality be?  Would Aaron be able to be the father that he had never had, or would he end up an alcoholic who abused his son, too?  He swore that it would never happen, he’d never hurt their child like he’d been hurt.  He’d never abandon his child like Spencer had been abandoned.

Aaron felt occasional contractions but Spencer didn’t wake.  He slept for several hours before suddenly startling awake.  Aaron knew what had woken him, he felt the beginnings of a contraction.  “I’m here, little love.” He whispered.

“Ohh!” Spencer groaned.  “I need...I need to sit up.  Now.” He demanded and Aaron rushed to help him.  “Oh, God, ow.” He panted.  His breath caught and just like that, Aaron was there.

“Breathe, honey.  Breathe through it.” He coached and Spencer started to follow his lead.  It took a little longer for it to subside, but when it passed, Spencer went slack and all but fell into his mate’s side.  “You did great, honey.  I’m so proud of you.” He said, kissing Spencer’s temple.

“Okay, I need to get up.” He said.  “Help me out of bed.”  Aaron helped him get up then watched him as he seemed undecided on what he wanted to do next. He thought for a minute, then nodded as if he’d made a decision.  “I have to go to the bathroom.” He said.

Aaron almost offered help, simply because he wanted to do anything and everything to ease his mate’s suffering but one look at Spencer told him that he needed a minute alone to process.  He nodded, knowing that if Spencer needed help, he would ask for it.  He could hear Spencer use the bathroom, flush, and wash his hands before he came back out, looking slightly calmer.  “I want to walk again.  Not…” He was quick to say, before Aaron could protest.  “Not outside, just around the house.” 

“Upstairs or downstairs?” Aaron asked, deciding it was best not to argue with him right now.  

“Up.” Spencer confirmed, starting off on a walk around the second level of their home.  He walked with one hand pressed into his back, Aaron trailing him like a lost little puppy.  He would stop when a contraction came, sometimes leaning into a wall, sometimes just pushing both hands into his back.  Aaron was starting to freak out, he had no idea what to do to help him.  As Spencer came to another abrupt stop, he suddenly turned so he was facing his mate.  “Hold me.” He managed, leaning forward and resting his weight against the other man.  Aaron’s hands instinctively went to the small of Spencer’s back and he began to rub.  When Spencer let out a groan, he tried to pull his hands away only to hear Spencer’s voice, “No! No, no, no keep doing that.  Feels good.  Helps.” He said, working his way through the contraction.  When it ended, Spencer made no effort to move away.  “How long?” He asked.

Aaron felt dumb.  “How long what?” He asked.

Spencer chuckled.  “Between contractions?  They’re getting really strong.” He said, just letting his mate hold him up.

“Oh, about eight minutes.  Just a little under, actually, 7 minutes and 42 seconds.” He told him.  Spencer nodded but Aaron felt him tense a little.  He knew it wasn’t another contraction yet.  “Spence?” He asked.  “Talk to me.” 

“I just...they aren’t even five minutes apart.  This isn’t even active labor yet, and it hurts like hell.  What...what if I can’t do this?” He asked, looking up into Aaron’s gorgeous brown eyes.

Just like that, Aaron’s own fear faded away.  He needed to be strong for his mate, he needed to be the best Alpha that had ever existed.  He needed to be only focused on Spencer and their baby.  He knew that fear from the laboring parent was to be expected and that it was the partner’s job to reassure and coach.  “You CAN do this.  Spencer Reid, you can do anything.  You have three PhD’s, multiple BA’s and MA’s.  You are the youngest person to ever join the Bureau and the BAU.  You have saved lives.  You saved mine, when I found you in that graveyard and smelled you, the real you, for the first time.  You save mine every day when I wake up and see your face laying next to me.  You are the strongest person I know.  I know this is going to hurt, but you and I...we’re going to do it together.  Let me hold you, let me love you.  I’m not going anywhere, little love.  You and I are going to fight through it together, like we always do, and when it's over, we’ll have our son.  You can hold him and scent him and you will be the best damn Omega Daddy the universe has ever seen.” His voice was trembling, but he never lost eye contact with Spencer.

“Aaron…” He whispered.  “God, I love you.  I can do this.” He said, mostly to himself.  “We can do this.  You’re going to be here with me.” He nodded.  “Okay, more walking...I need this labor to pick up the pace.”

So they continued their circuit of the upstairs of their house.  Every time a contraction started, Spencer would turn and let Aaron take his weight.  Being held in his mate’s arms felt so right and Aaron’s voice was always right there, talking him through each and every pain.  They still hurt, but now Spencer knew he wasn’t doing it alone.  Aaron was doing it with him and it made all the difference.  

Spencer’s contractions still weren’t down to five minutes and he’d been in labor for nearly ten hours.  He was tired again and definitely getting cranky.  Aaron decided to take a little control.  “Spence, baby, I think you should get something to eat.  Nothing heavy, but you have to be exhausted and you haven’t eaten since this morning.” He said.

Food did not sound good right now, but he knew Aaron was right and he was going to need the energy.  “Will you make me some of that instant oatmeal?  The strawberry one?” He asked.  “Oh, and ice water.”

“Do you want to come downstairs with me?” Aaron offered but Spencer shook his head no.

“There’s no way I can get down and back up.  And I want to have our baby up here.  I’ll be okay for a few minutes.  I’m coping.” He said.

“You’re more than coping.” Aaron said.  “You are soaring.  Why don’t you…” He started to suggest when Spencer grabbed at him again.

“Fuck.” He whispered.  “Bad one!” He couldn’t quite keep the breathing rhythm that they’d been doing up until now.  He hissed out a sound of pain, moaning.

“You’ve got it, Spence.  Keep breathing through it.  Each contraction is one step closer to meeting our baby.” Aaron told him, helping him rock from side to side.  He’d started that about twenty minutes ago and he wasn’t sure if it was helping, but Spencer was doing it every time.  

“Ngh!” He groaned as it hit the peak, then panted as it started to come back down.  By the time it was over he was limp like a dishrag.

“Let’s get to the bedroom, so you have something to hold on to if you need it.” Aaron said, leading the young man back down the hall for what seemed like the hundredth time.  

  He left Reid leaning over their bed and hurried downstairs.  He sent a quick text to Liz letting her know what was happening.  He made up the bowl of oatmeal just the way Reid liked it and he got a huge glass of ice water for him.  He could hear Reid moaning through another contraction and his heart pulled.  He finished up what he was doing and brought the food upstairs.  

Reid had found the exercise ball they had purchased after Reid had read it might prove helpful during labor.  He didn’t exactly look comfortable, but he did seem somewhat content.  The ball was in front of their bed and he was resting on his elbows, his face just about buried in their mattress.  “I’ve got your oatmeal.” He said, keeping his voice soft.  Reid looked up and nodded.  “Want some help?” He offered as Reid looked around for a place to eat.  He seemed embarrassed but as another contraction hit the only thing he was focused on was the pain.  Aaron set the bowl down and began to massage his lower back and hips.  Spencer made a noise that sounded somewhat pleased, so he continued his massage.  He checked his watch and realized that Reid was almost at five minutes apart.  When it passed and Spencer had relaxed again, Hotch picked up the spoon, blew gently on the oatmeal and held it to his partner’s lips.  Spencer fought himself for a minute, before accepting the food and nodding a thank you to Aaron.

Aaron fed him the oatmeal inbetween pains and by the time he was done, Spencer had had three contractions that were each five minutes apart.  “Baby, it’s time to call Liz.  You’re doing amazing.” He praised.  He called the midwife who let them know she was on her way.  He noticed Spencer starting to droop again.

“I’m tired.” Spencer complained, letting his forehead fall against Aaron’s shoulder.  He needed the closeness and to scent his partner.  Aaron held him, not caring at all if he was uncomfortable, he was much more focused on Reid.  Thankfully, he’d unlocked the door when he went downstairs to make the food, so Liz was able to let herself in.

“Hi daddies!” She greeted with a wide grin.  Spencer managed to lift his head and look up at her.  “Look at you, rockstar, I hear you’ve been doing amazing.”

“My mate is a liar.” He managed and everyone smiled at that, but his smile faded fast and his eyes closed in pain.  “Aaron…” He called, needing his mate.

Aaron held him close, whispering encouragement to him as he struggled through another pain.  “Doing great, baby.  Keep working through it.  I’m right here, always with you.  Breathe, honey...breathe.” Spencer gasped and shifted as the pain peaked.  

“God!” He cried out, gripping Aaron’s upper arms.  

“I know, I know it hurts.  You’re doing great, it's on the downside now.  It’s coming down and you’re amazing.  Breathe through the end of it.  Just like that, perfect.” He cheered.

“Your mate is right, Spencer, you’re doing great.” Liz affirmed, once the pain had passed.  “If it's okay with you, I’d like to check you and see how far you are.  But if you don’t want that, it's perfectly fine.  Remember, this is your body and you make the decisions.” She told him.  It was one of the things he loved about her.  She was always making sure that he knew the decisions were up to him.  He really had to think about it, because part of him wanted nothing near him at the moment, but part of him wanted to know.  He was afraid that maybe he wasn’t dilated much, but in the end, curiosity won out.  He nodded his agreement.  “Where do you want to be for the check?” She offered.

It took his brain a minute to catch up.  “Um, standing, with my mate holding me.  You...you won’t do it during a contraction, right?” He asked.

“Absolutely not.  We’ll get you standing, let you get through your next one, then I’ll check you.  I also brought the inflatable bath, if you’d like to soak in some warm water for a while.” She offered.  The idea sounded amazing.  Every part of him ached and the thought of soaking in warm water was unbelievably appealing.

“Can my mate get in? I like it when he holds me.” He muttered, allowing Liz and Aaron to help him to a standing position.  He wasn’t much help, letting them do most of the work in moving him but he was too tired to do much else.

“Of course he can.  Now, relax and take a few deep breaths, your next one is coming.  Just hold onto Aaron, listen to his voice and let it carry you through.” She said, feeling the outside of his stomach start to harden.  Spencer whined as it seemed each pain simply got worse and worse.  He did what Liz said and listened to Aaron’s voice.  His voice was amazing and listening to him made everything so much better.  Anytime his breath caught or he simply felt like he couldn’t stand one more second, Aaron’s voice was there telling him that he could.  It passed and Liz gave him a moment to catch his breath.  He was very grateful for that.  Soon, she was pushing at him and even though she was being gentle he was tender and let out a pathetic noise.

“Spencer, I need you to look at me.” She said, after pulling back and standing up.  Spencer looked up at her bright, excited eyes.  “You have done AMAZING.  You’re seven centimeters dilated.  You’re close to the finish line.” She promised him and he started to weep in Aaron’s arms.  

She left them to hold each other and Spencer’s contractions were now down to four minutes apart.  They were intense and brutal and he wanted a break, but none came so he simply kept working through them.  He knew Liz was in the room somewhere, but the only thing he could focus on was Aaron.  Aaron was his lifeline and if he lost touch or contact in any way, he’d surely be swept out to sea.

He had no idea how much time had passed when he felt Liz’s presence at his back.  “Spencer?” She asked, softly.  Spencer ignored her so Liz looked to Aaron to help out.

“Spence? Baby?” Came the coaxing voice.  He managed to look up into Aaron’s worried eyes.  “The tub is filled with warm water.  Do you want to get in?” He asked.  Spencer tried to nod but he wasn’t sure he was effective.  Aaron seemed to understand him, though.  “Okay, we’re going to get you undressed and help you in.  You still want me to get in with you?” He asked.  Another nod.  “Okay, beautiful, let Liz hold you up for one second.” He passed the weight over to the midwife and made quick work of undressing him.  He undressed himself as well, leaving on his boxers. 

It took a couple of contractions to get Spencer in the tub.  He was in his own world of pain and didn’t seem to respond to anyone but Aaron.  They got in him and Aaron quickly climbed in behind him.  It took both him and Liz to ease Spencer to a sitting position, but they knew he felt relief when he gave an audible sigh and sunk into the water, leaning back against Aaron’s chest.  “Good.” He managed.  

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty One - And It Moves Us All

Spencer actually started coming around a little bit once he was in the tub.  The water didn’t make the pain go away but it definitely helped take the edge off.  Once Spencer was a little more lucid, Aaron made him drink some water and Liz managed to coax a few bites of the fruit salad.  However, that didn’t last long and soon after, Spencer began to complain about being nauseous.  He remembered that nausea usually meant something, but right now he couldn’t remember what.

“It’s a good sign that he’s probably entering transition.” Liz whispered, running a cool washcloth over Spencer’s sweaty forehead.  Transition, that was the word he’d been searching for.  He knew that it was typically the worst part of labor and he braced himself for what was to come. 

 It killed him to watch Spencer like this but he made sure that none of his own upset came through.  His job was to support Spencer.  Liz came up behind Aaron and placed a gentle hand on his neck.  “You are doing a great job, too.” She whispered.  “You are providing him amazing support and keeping him working through his pain.” She held up a water bottle with a straw.  “You need to eat something, too.  What can I get you?” She asked.

Aaron was overwhelmed.  He tried not to get choked up and drank the water.  “I don’t know.” He said, honestly.  He’d been so focused on Reid, he hadn’t even thought about himself.

“Okay, I’m going to go downstairs and make you something to eat.  You guys are doing great.” She said, with a smile and a pat.

“Aaron?” Spencer whispered tiredly.  “Are you doing okay?” He checked.

“Baby, I’m fine.” He promised.  “You are doing amazing.  I cannot believe how incredible you are.  We’re getting so close.” He kissed his neck and cheeks, pressing kisses wherever he could reach.  Spencer managed a small smile.

“‘M tired.” He sighed.

“I know, little love.” He said.  “You rest when you can.  I’ve got you.”

“Ohhhh.” Spencer groaned, his face scrunching in pain.  Aaron held him close, whispering encouragements in his ear.  The water seemed to do wonders for Spencer, he was much calmer and moaned and hummed through the pain.  It passed and soon Liz returned with a plate of pasta.  She held the plate so Aaron could continue to hold Spencer and Aaron ate in between Spencer’s contractions.  He hadn’t realized how hungry he was and thanked Liz profusely.

Suddenly, Spencer’s contractions seemed to change and Spencer became restless, shifting and moaning.  “Doing great!” Aaron told him and Spencer shook his head no.  

“Gonna be sick!” He warned and Liz was ready with a bucket.  Spencer moved fast, going to his knees and pulling away from Aaron, leaning over the side and throwing up.  Aaron followed behind, rubbing his back.  “Oh my God!” Spencer cried.  “It hurts!  It hurts!” He sounded frantic.

“You’re doing-” Aaron started, but Spencer cut him off.

“Shut up!” He yelled, before gagging again.  Aaron knew that this was part of transition so he quieted down.  He couldn’t be upset, he knew that transition was often frightening for the parent and they typically would lash out.  He gently rubbed his back, saying nothing.  “I can’t do this! I can’t do this!” He panicked, turning to look at Aaron and all but throwing himself into his arms.

Aaron just held him, feeling him shaking and feeling tears drip onto his back.  “Shh.” He soothed.  

“Aaron, I don’t want to do this!  I’m too scared!” He begged.

Aaron decided to try talking again, but kept his voice low.  “I know you’re scared.  This is scary stuff.  I’m right here, Liz is right here.  We’re both with you and you are doing amazing.  You can do this.  You ARE doing this.  You’re bringing our baby.  I’m so proud of you.” He told him and Spencer let out another sob.

“I’m so scared!” He repeated.

“What are you scared of?” He asked.

“The pain.” He moaned, almost going completely stiff as another contraction took him.  He screamed then, startling Aaron.

“The pain isn’t in control of you.  You are in control.” Aaron’s voice turned a little more demanding, knowing that Spencer needed him in control.  “Take a deep breath.” He said, and waited while Spencer listened.  “Good, now let it out.  Okay, keep doing that.  In...and out...in...and out… Good.” He said.  “I know it hurts like hell, Spencer, but you are doing it.  You CAN do this.” 

The next twenty minutes passed much the same.  Spencer was almost out of his mind in pain and Aaron just kept with him.  Praising him, soothing him, coaching him.  At one point, Spencer didn’t want to be touched.  He pulled away, yelling at Aaron and Liz and panted through a few on his own.  Eventually, that want to be alone subsided and he sought refuge in Aaron’s arms once again. Liz made sure that everything was ready for Spencer to deliver, but stayed in the background unless asked for.  She smiled watching the two of them.  She had never seen two mates more well suited for each other, and she had been doing this job for a long time.  

She could see that Spencer seemed to be calming down finally and was a little more with it.  She knew that he was going to be close to pushing but let him work with his own body.  She was there if and when they needed her, but she would let him labor on until then.

It took about another twenty minute for things to change and Spencer moved, trying to find a comfortable position and groaning.  Then, he suddenly realized what was happening.  “I have to push!” He said.  It was the first words he’d said in almost an hour and Hotch was relieved to hear them, even if the actual statement made him a bit nervous.

“Okay, you listen to your body.  When this contraction is over, I’ll check you.” Liz told him.  He didn’t push much or hard, but he did let out a small push when the pain hit it's peak.  She checked him and found him to be completely dilated.  “Spencer, you are ready to have this baby.  I need you to make some decisions right now.  Do you want to stay in the water or get out?  Where do you want Aaron to be when you deliver?  Let me know and we’ll make it work.” She told him, rubbing the sweat off his forehead with a cool cloth.

“Umm…” He thought about it for a moment.  “I think I want to get out of the water.  I want to stand, with Aaron holding me and squat.  I read that’s the easiest position for the baby, to let gravity help.  I need Aaron to hold me, though.” He finally said.  Aaron kissed the sweat-damp temple.

“Of course I’ll hold you.” He agreed.  “You ready to get out of the water?” He asked, but Spencer had curled in on himself, panting through a contraction.  He only pushed a little, but neither Liz or Aaron said anything.  

“No, not really.” He gave a little laugh after it was over.  “The water feels so good.” He explained.

“You can stay in the water if you want.” Liz reminded him.  “You can rest on your knees, facing Aaron and let him hold you that way.  You don’t have to get out if you don’t want to.”  Spencer thought long and hard about that.  He’d planned on being upright and squatting, but leaving the water felt like a terrible idea.  And the way Liz had explained it, Aaron could still hold him and he could still be partially squatting.  The idea sounded good to him and finally he nodded. 

“Yeah, yeah that sounds good.  I don’t want to get out of the water.” He said.

“Okay, get through your next one, it should be starting any second, then we’ll get you all turned around and ready, okay?” Liz offered and Spencer nodded, already panting through the pain that was starting.  “You don’t have to pant if you don’t want to, you’re ready and you can push if you want.  If you don’t want to, that’s fine, too.” She told him.

With the permission Spencer drew in a deep breath and pushed with the pain and pressure.  Even though it hurt, it felt good to finally do something other than simply accept the pain as it came.  He sought out Aaron’s hands for purchase and pushed calmly through the pain.  When it let up, he needed a minute and Liz was there with some water for him.  It took the effort of all three of them, but they turned Spencer over.  He was kneeling, facing Aaron with his arms draped around Aaron’s neck.  He decided quickly that he didn’t like that, he wanted to hold Aaron’s hands.  They shifted a little more and Spencer smiled as he was able to take his mate’s hands in his own.  Aaron kissed his forehead, and when Spencer looked up he realized how excited and proud Aaron looked.  He leaned in for a real kiss, happy to be able to see his mate as this happened.

“We’re going to see our son soon.” Spencer said, smiling at Aaron.  Aaron was more relieved than words could say.  He’d thought he’d lost Spencer in the pain and had been terrified to see him so scared.  Aaron returned his smile.

“You’ve done amazing.  Just a little more and you can hold him.” Aaron promised.  Spencer nodded, and took a breath as his next contraction started and pushed with the pain.  Aaron was surprised at the change and how in control Spencer seemed to be.  He was focused and determined.  He was glad that he had listened to Spencer and done the homebirth.  It was so intimate in a way that Aaron hadn’t expected and letting Spencer follow his body was entrancing.  Spencer didn’t push through every contraction.  Sometimes he stopped and breathed, and let himself relax and calm down.  He knew that would never have been possible in a hospital birth.

It took about forty minutes of pushing until Spencer’s demeanor changed again.  Aaron could tell something was happening as Spencer sat up a little more and started pushing harder.  “There’s lots of pressure.” Spencer said.  “It really hurts.”

Liz reached into the water and checked him.  “You’re close to crowning.” She said.  “When you do, it's going to burn and you’re going to want to pull away.  Don’t do it, just keep leaning into it.  Watch your mate’s face, you’re going to see your son very, very soon.” She said.  Her voice had picked up slightly in pitch, she was excited.  Spencer was really close.

Aaron couldn’t help it but he had to lean in and kiss Spencer within an inch of his life.  Once he pulled back, Spencer was kind of taken off guard.  “What was that for?” He asked, slightly breathless.

“Because I love the hell out of you and you are amazing.” He said.  “You can do this.  I’m right here, let’s see our little boy.” He encouraged as Reid took another breath and started to push.  He heard Reid whine as the pressure increased as he leaned their foreheads together.  “It's just us, you and me and our son.  You can do it.  Keep pushing, I’m so proud of you.  You’re doing great.” He encouraged.

Reid let out a high pitched whine and Liz got even more excited.  “I feel the head, Spencer!  You’re almost there!”

Reid locked eyes with Aaron, held tight to his hands and pushed with everything he had in him.  He screamed and relaxed so fast that Aaron had to basically catch him.  “Head’s out, sweetheart.  One more push and you’re done.” Liz told him.

It took him a second to regain himself, but he pushed one last time and started sobbing as he felt his son leave his body.  Aaron and Liz turned him around so he was sitting in Aaron’s lap and Liz brought his baby up and handed it to him.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the room.  “Hi! Hi!” Spencer huffed, still out of breath, but instantly forgetting all the pain at seeing his son for the first time.  Aaron was sobbing as hard as the boy began to scream his displeasure.

“You did it, you did it.” Aaron cried, holding Spencer tight as Spencer held their son.  Spencer shifted the little boy so Aaron could see him.  “Oh Spencer, he’s perfect.” He breathed, getting his first real look at the boy.

“He’s perfect.” Spencer echoed.  “Hello, sweetheart.  I’m Omega Daddy.  Welcome to the world, happy birthday.” 

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty Two - Time Falls Away

Time falls away

But these small hours

These small hours still remain

Little Wonders: Rob Thomas

The next twenty minutes were a little crazy.  Spencer delivered the placenta and Liz checked it over and pronounced it complete.  Aaron couldn’t really remember what that meant, but she seemed happy so he wasn’t worried.  Then Liz and Aaron had to help him get out of the water.  Aaron got out first, dried off quickly and put on a pair of pajamas.  Then they got Spencer and the baby out, the cord had been cut but Spencer hadn’t taken his eyes off the baby.

They made sure Spencer was dry and warm before helping him settle into the bed, baby still in his arms.  The baby was covered by a blanket, but was skin to skin against Spencer’s chest.  It had been one of the things he was most adamant about.  Aaron was sitting behind Spencer, propping up his exhausted mate.

“Look at him.” Spencer said, once everyone had been settled.  “Isn’t he amazing?”

“I’ve never seen anything more beautiful, except maybe you.” Aaron agreed.

“We never did settle on a name.” Spencer mused, running a soft finger over the baby’s face, tracing and memorizing every inch of his son.  

“I think…” Aaron said, then looked at the baby.  “I think we should go with your suggestion.  Let’s call him Jack.” He said.

Spencer smiled softly, still not taking his eyes off the baby.  “Is that who you are?” He asked and the baby sneezed, making everyone laugh.  “I guess so.  Welcome to the world Jack Aaron Hotchner.” He greeted.

“Jack Aaron?” Hotch asked, his voice thick with emotion.

“Jack Aaron.” He confirmed.  The facial features were all Spencer.  Spencer’s cheekbones, chin, his nose, but his head was covered in downy, dark brown hair and two dimples peeked out on his cheeks.  “I’m going to need to feed him soon, but I think you should hold your son first.” Spencer said, lifting the baby up to kiss his forehead tenderly.  Aaron shifted and gingerly took the baby from Spencer’s arms.  He fussed at the change, but Aaron bounced him slightly and shushed him.

“Hello Jack.  I’m your Alpha Daddy.  You are perfect.” He said, snuggling the baby close.  He’d never felt anything like this before, holding his son.  He had never known he could love someone as much as he loved the baby in his arms.  “Do you know how loved you are?  Do you know how incredible your Omega Daddy is? I bet you do, I bet you already know how amazing he is.  He did bring you into the world.”

Spencer had tears running down his face and couldn’t imagine ever being happier than he was right now.  Watching Aaron with Jack had shattered his heart and then put it back together again.  When Jack started to cry for real, Spencer reached out for the infant.  “He’s probably hungry.  He’s had a long, hard day too.”

Aaron gave back the baby and watched Spencer bring him up to feed him.  He simply watched in adoration as their son ate his first meal, then fell asleep.  Liz had finished cleaning up and came over to the men on the bed.  “I need to check a few things, get him dressed then I’ll give him right back if you want.  However…” She said, looking seriously at them.  “I would suggest that you get some sleep.  You did a lot of hard work and your body needs some time to recover.  I know you only want to hold him and stare at him, but sleep now, while he does.” She said.

“Wait, before you take him, would you take a picture of all three of us?” Aaron asked, pointing to his phone on the bedside table.  She smiled and nodded.  Spencer held up the baby and Aaron pressed their heads close together.  They were both beaming from ear to ear and she took a few pictures.  She handed him the phone and he smiled and showed Spencer.

“I’m going to send it to the BAU.  I know they’re dying for an update.” He said and Spencer chuckled.  He sent the photo to Rossi, Morgan, Garcia, Emily, and JJ and within seconds had replies from every one of them.  He showed Spencer, who smiled tiredly at the outpouring of affection from their friends.

Finally, he agreed to let Liz take Jack and get him settled.  She needed to weigh him and check a few things.  He snuffled sleepily as he was transferred and Reid turned instantly, pressing his lips to Aaron’s.  “We have our son, we have little Jack.”

“I know I’ve said it before, but you were incredible.  I’m so proud of you, Spencer.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you.  You kept me in my head.  You kept me going.” He said, yawning.  

“I love you.  Here, let me help you lay down and you get some sleep.  I’ll be here, watching over both of you.” He promised.  Reid couldn’t have argued if he’d wanted to.  Now that the adrenaline had worn off he was beyond exhausted and sore.  He let Aaron help him scoot down in the bed and was asleep within moments.

Once Aaron was sure he was asleep, he got out of bed and headed towards Liz and Jack.  “He’s 7 lbs, 2 oz and 21 inches long.  His Apgar scores were perfect and I’ve given him a little washing to get some of those fluids off.” She explained, as she finished buttoning up the onesie.  “He’s a handsome little guy, he’s gonna be a heartbreaker.” She said.  “Those dimples are serious business.” She chuckled, actually sticking a finger into one of Aaron’s dimples.  The older man laughed, entranced at watching his son.

“He’s healthy?” He double checked.

“He’s perfect.” She said.  “Why don’t you rock him a little and see if he’ll go back to sleep.  I know he’s got to be tired.” She picked him up and let Aaron take him.

Aaron cradled him gently, rocking him back and forth.  He made sure that Jack’s face was in his neck so he could learn his Alpha Dad’s scent.  He knew Spencer’s, of course, from having grown inside him.  He made that sweet little snuffling noise again and Aaron couldn’t help but chuckle.  Soon enough, Jack had fallen back to sleep and was content to be held in his Daddy’s arms.

“I know you don’t want to put him down, but you should sleep, too.” Liz said.  “That’s the best advice I can give you.  Sleep when the baby does.”  He nodded, realizing how tired he was and took Jack to the bassinet they had ready next to their bed.  He laid Jack down softly and watched him for a minute, making sure he wasn’t going to wake back up.  Then he turned and hugged Liz.  

“Thank you.  For everything.  You were amazing and we couldn’t have done this without you.” He said.  She blushed.

“Nonsense.  You two had it completely under control, but it was an honor and a privilege to be here.” She said.  “I typically stay for the first 24 hours unless the parents want me to leave.” Aaron knew that, it had been discussed prior to today.  Spencer had wanted to wait and see how he felt, but since he was sound asleep, Aaron made the decision.

“We would like you to stay.” He agreed.  “The guest room is down to the left, it's all made up for you.  There’s a bathroom attached.” He said.

“Congratulations, Daddy.” She said, leaving him to climb into bed with Spencer and fall asleep.

It took about a week before Spencer decided he was ready to let people come over and meet the baby.  Biologically, Omega’s needed to protect their children and often felt that anyone other than the Alpha was a threat.  None of the team was upset, but they were anxious to meet their newest member.  Spencer decided that having them all over at once would be too overwhelming, so he’d asked Aaron to set up times for them to come.  No more than two per day and only one at a time.  

Aaron was willing to follow Spencer’s lead so he agreed.  The first week had been the hardest week of his life.  They were all exhausted and Jack, while amazing, was very tiring.  He wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the world, though.  He loved holding his son and doing everything he could.  He didn’t even mind changing diapers, though how a thing that small could make a smell that big was beyond him.  He simply adored his son and right now, everything he did was perfect.

Spencer was having a little bit harder of a time.  He was so tired and sore and he barely got any sleep.  While Aaron was always willing to get up with the baby, he couldn’t feed Jack, only Spencer could.  Plus his hormones were running amok and he was still hurting from the birth.  Spencer was sitting on the couch, Jack over his shoulder as Spencer rubbed his back and tried to get him to settle down when the doorbell rang.

Aaron got up to let JJ in.  He knew that JJ was going to be the first person Spencer would want to see.  The two of them were unbelievably close, almost like siblings, and he hoped her visit would do Spencer some good.  It hurt him to see his mate so distressed, especially after how excited he’d been through his whole pregnancy.

“Hey Spence.” She said, coming into the room quietly.  Jack had stopped crying, but Spencer was still rubbing his back.

His face lit up in a true smile.  “JJ!” He exclaimed.  “It’s so good to see you!”

She came closer, setting the present she’d brought down on their coffee table.  “I can’t believe you had a baby.” She said, sitting gently next to him.

“I can.” He said wryly.  “It hurt.” He told her, in all seriousness.  She grinned at him and tried to peek at Jack.  “You want to hold him?” He offered.

“Oh! Yes!” She agreed and Spencer shifted the baby and passed him over to JJ.  “Oh, Spence…” She breathed, getting her first full look at him.  “He’s beautiful.  He looks just like you, except for the hair and dimples.”

“He has Aaron’s eyes, too.” He said, smiling up at his partner, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Hello Jack, I’m your auntie JJ.  I cannot wait to spoil you!” She whispered to the baby.  “Oh Hotch, Spence, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.” She said, tears welling up in her eyes.  “Makes me want one.” She admitted.

“You can come babysit anytime.” He offered and she smiled at him.  

“How are YOU doing?” She asked, happy to cradle and snuggle the baby.

“I’m fine.” He answered and Hotch frowned.  “You know, tired and sore, but…”

JJ stayed for about an hour, snuggling Jack for most of that time.  Only when he woke up and needed food did she finally hand him back to Spencer.  They talked a little about everything but finally, JJ could see that Spencer needed a nap, too.  She hugged him, kissed the baby on the forehead and hugged Hotch before leaving them alone.  “Do you want me to take him for a bit? You can go lay down and get some sleep.” Hotch offered.

“Yeah, I think I will.” He agreed, passing Jack to Aaron, kissing both of them and heading to bed.

The others came by and the interactions went similarly.  Spencer said and did all the right things, but Aaron could tell there was something wrong.  He was spending less and less time with Jack.  Often citing exhaustion, he’d hold Jack to feed and burp him, but immediately put him down or hand him over to Aaron.  Spencer had a good facade, but Aaron was not only his mate, but a damn good profiler.  He knew that something was wrong.

After three weeks of Spencer barely spending any time with Jack and looking miserable when he did, Aaron came upstairs one day and found Spencer sobbing in bed.  Aaron immediately rushed to his side and tried to pull him into his arms.  Spencer pulled back, pushing at Aaron.  “Spencer, little love, what’s wrong?” He asked.

“Nothing!” He insisted, pushing again.

“Baby, I know that something is wrong.  Just talk to me.” He pleaded.  Finally, Spencer turned to face him.  His face was tear streaked and lined with anguish.

“I don’t know.” His voice cracked as more tears spilled.  “I...I just...I feel awful.  I don’t want to be with Jack.  I love him and I wanted him, but now…” He gasped a huge breath.  “I feel so empty and I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Aaron pulled him close and let him cry.  He rubbed his back and rocked him, much as he did for their son.  “Spencer, I think maybe you’re struggling with postpartum depression.” He finally said and Spencer let out another huge sob.  “Let’s see a doctor.  I know you love Jack, I think your brain chemistry is just a little off, honey.”

“What if I’m just a bad parent?  What if I resent him?” Spencer cried.

“You are not a bad parent.  You need some help, little love.  I’ll be right here, with you, just like always.  I know it hurts right now, but everything will be okay.  I promise.”

Aaron called and got an appointment with Dr. Seymour for the next morning.  He did the bulk of the caring for Jack that day, other than feedings.  He made sure to spend every second he could with Spencer, just making sure he knew that Aaron was there for him.  He hugged and loved on his mate and Spencer couldn’t seem to do anything other than cry and sleep.  Aaron felt terrible that he couldn’t do more for him.

It took more time than Aaron had realized to get both Jack and Spencer ready to go, but they were at the doctor’s office by 9:00 the next morning.  Aaron held the carrier and in his other hand, he held Spencer’s.  The look of hopelessness on Spencer’s face was enough to break his heart.  Once they got back and checked in, Dr. Seymour appeared.  Aaron had mentioned that he believed Spencer had postpartum depression in the call, so Dr. Seymour came to Spencer, not Jack, first.

“Hello Spencer, it's good to see you.” She greeted.  “I hear that you’ve been having a little bit of a difficult time.”  Spencer shook his head yes, his jaw clenched, trying not to start crying again.  “Your mate told me what you told him yesterday.  I have to agree, it sounds like postpartum depression.  Spencer, this is very common and you haven’t done anything wrong.  I’m very proud that you were able to talk to Aaron about this and come in and see me.  I just want to check a few things, then we’ll talk about how to get you feeling better, okay?” Spencer nodded yes again, tears starting to spill now.

Aaron had set down Jack’s carrier and enveloped his mate in a hug.  Spencer laid his head on Aaron’s shoulder and cried.  Dr. Seymour ordered some bloodwork and soon she was back with the results.  “Okay, good news is that there’s nothing in your blood work that is worrying.  Postpartum depression is very common, especially with first babies, and it doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you.  Hormones are funny things and they’re very easy to get out of whack.  I’m going to prescribe you an antidepressant.” She said, then held up her hand when he opened his mouth to protest.  “I know you’re breastfeeding.  This will have no effect on Jack.  I’d also suggest trying to pump and store some milk.  That way Aaron can take turns feeding and it’ll make it a little easier on you.  I want you to make sure that you are all getting out of the house at least once a day.  Go for a walk, go to the store, go visit a friend...something.” She told him.  “Spencer, I need you to look at me for a moment.” She said.

Spencer finally looked up from his shoes and met her eyes.  “You haven’t done anything wrong.  You have done everything perfectly.  I know that you love your son and we’re going to help get your hormones in check.” She told him.  He nodded, already starting to feel a little better, knowing that there was help coming.  “Now, any chance I can meet that beautiful baby?” She asked with a smile.

Spencer smiled, too and Aaron felt a weight come off his chest.  Spencer unbuckled Jack and picked him up, turning him so he faced the doctor.  “This is Jack.” He said.

Dr. Seymour gently took him from Spencer.  “Oh, you are a gorgeous one.” She cooed.  “Spencer, Aaron, you make beautiful babies!” She praised and Spencer smiled again.  At that moment, Aaron knew everything was going to be okay.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty Three - Breeze Off The River

And I never feel like somebody, somebody

Calls a father, I can't explain

But when I look at you kid, it's like a mirror

It spins my head, it wakes me

Breeze Off The River: The Full Monty (The Musical)

Once Spencer got on the antidepressant, it took a couple of days, but he finally began to feel better.  He stopped crying at the drop of a hat, he felt like he could hold Jack and not want to scream.  He also started pumping, and Dr. Seymour had been right, having Aaron be able to help took some of the pressure off.  After about two weeks, he felt like himself again and went back to adoring his baby.

It was coming to the end of Aaron’s leave and soon he was going to go back to work.  Spencer wanted to go, too, but he had another two months before he was allowed to go back.  Spencer decided he wanted to have all of the BAU over, now that Jack was a month old.  They hadn’t really celebrated Jack’s birth, since Spencer had been struggling so much, and Spencer missed their friends.

Their friends insisted that Aaron and Spencer not provide any food or drink, that they would bring everything and Spencer agreed.  Around five o’clock, the doorbell rang and Spencer, holding Jack, headed to answer it.  Aaron was upstairs changing after cleaning up a little.  He opened the door to see JJ and Emily, both grinning and carrying armloads of food.  Spencer chuckled.  “How much food did you bring?!” He asked.

“A lot.” Emily grinned.  “Now, let us in so we can put it down.” Spencer moved, and the two women headed to the kitchen.  He followed them and as soon as her arms were free, JJ turned towards Spencer and Jack.  She hugged Spencer and kissed his cheek.  

“Where is the most beautiful nephew in the world!  Come see Auntie JJ!” She cooed, reaching for him, but glancing at Spencer for permission.  Spencer smiled and handed his son over.  “Hello you sweet thing!” She said, cuddling him close.  The doorbell rang again and Spencer looked at Jack.  “I’ve got him, go get the door.” She smiled.

Within a half an hour, everyone was there and Rossi had commandeered his kitchen.  He was heating up food, pouring drinks and Jack was being passed from person to person.  Right now Morgan had him and Jack simply lay there, watching him in fascination.  “Thank you all for coming.  Aaron will be back to work on Monday.” Spencer said and there was a little cheer.

“I am so ready to be done with all your paperwork.” Morgan laughed and everyone else did, too.

“So, we wanted to have our family over before that happened.  We have something we’d like to ask two of you.” Spencer said.  Aaron came up behind him, wrapping his arms around his mate.  “JJ, Morgan, would you be Jack’s godparents?”  They both looked up sharply and tears sprung to JJ’s eyes.

“Of course!” She said.

“That’s a really big honor.” Morgan told him.  “I’d be happy to.”

“In our line of work, we all know that lives can change in an instant.  We want...we hope...that if something were to happen to us, you would all be there for him. Take care of him, raise him…” Spencer told them, looking at each person.

“We always will.” Rossi promised.  Just then, Jack started to fuss and Spencer reached for him.

“I’ve got him.” Aaron soothed, taking a now screaming Jack from Morgan.  He heated up a bottle and started to feed Jack.  Their friends stayed and helped clean up.  They all sat around talking for a while and then took their leave.  The day before Aaron was due back to work, Spencer was on the floor playing with Jack.  He picked up a bright plushie and made it dance it's away across Jack’s vision.  Suddenly, the baby let out a smile, hands flailing. 

“Aaron!” Spencer yelled and Aaron came rushing, half expecting to see them bleeding out on the floor.  “Come here!  Come here and watch!” He said.  Aaron moved down to the floor and watched as Spencer made the toy dance again.  Jack’s face split into a smile and Aaron’s breath caught as his dimples were on full display for the first time.

“Oh my God.” Aaron said, grinning.  With both his parents smiling down at him, Jack continued to grin his dimpled, gummy grin.  

“I’ve never seen anything sweeter.  Take a picture!” Spencer said, unable to take his eyes off his baby.  Aaron pulled out his phone and took a couple of pictures.

“Spencer, I hope you know how unbelievably happy I am.” Aaron said.  “I love you and Jack more than you’ll ever know.  I know things were hard on you at the beginning and I’m so glad you feel better now.  I just want you to know that I will always be here, for both of you.  Nothing in the world would ever take me away.  You two are the most important people in my life.”

“Aaron, I know that.” Spencer said, softly.  “I’m so proud to be yours.” 

Life slowly returned to a new normal.  Spencer and Aaron doted on Jack, loving their son with fierceness.  Working with the BAU meant something different now, it meant protecting and bettering a world for their child.  Cases involving children were always bad, but now usually one of them ended up staying off the case.  They did their best to spend as much time with their son and still keep up with their jobs.

Before they knew it, Jack had turned one and then two, and before they could blink he was four years old.  Things in their lives were good, neither of them had been seriously injured in the field and the team was doing amazing things.  Life didn’t seem like it could get any better.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty Four - Affirmation

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality

I believe that trust is more important than monogamy

I believe that your most attractive features are your heart and soul

I believe that family is worth more than money or gold

Affirmation: Savage Garden

Spencer stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a towel and glanced at Aaron who was already in bed.  “God, I’m exhausted.” He said.

“That case was a mess.” Aaron agreed, yawning widely.  

“I’m just glad to be home.  I missed Jack.” Spencer climbed into bed and let Aaron pull him into his arms.  “Aaron?” He asked.

“Hmm?” 

“My heat is coming up.  Probably in the next few days.” Spencer said, but there was an edge to his voice that made Aaron sit up and really look at him.

“Okay.” He said, keeping his voice clear and calm.

“Have you…” He started, then looked down at his hands.

“Have I what?” He asked.  “Spencer, you know you can talk to me about anything.” He said.

“Have you thought about having another baby?” Spencer finally asked.  Aaron was quiet for a minute.

“Every day since Jack was born.” He admitted.  Spencer looked up, surprised.

“Really?  Why haven’t you said anything?” He asked.

“I saw how hard on you it was.  The pregnancy, the birth, the postpartum.  I didn’t want to pressure you.” He said.  Spencer lost any frustration he had and leaned forward to kiss him.

“I’d never feel pressured by you.” He said.  “I’ve been thinking about it a lot.  I think I want to have another baby.” He said.

“You want to try tonight?” Aaron asked with a grin and Spencer let out a full on laugh.

“You know I can’t get…” He paused, realizing what Aaron was saying.  “Oh.  Yes.  Yes, absolutely, let’s try right now.” He laughed as Aaron all but attacked him.

Jack would be staying with JJ for Spencer’s heat and Spencer was a little nervous.  Now that they were going to try again, he found himself thinking about what Aaron had said.  He had had a rough time with Jack and he was scared that it would happen again.  He’d also been thinking a lot about his BAU career.  He wanted to talk to Aaron before the heat really hit so he’d asked JJ to take Jack a day early.

When Aaron got home, Spencer had made dinner and had the table set up and waiting.  “Spence?” He asked, seeing the table.

“Go change and come back down.  Dinner is ready.” He said, giving him a smile.  Aaron gave him a quick kiss then did as he was told.  “I sent Jack to JJ a day early because I want to talk to you about something.” He said, serving up two plates of food.

“Okay.” Aaron said, starting to eat.  The food smelled amazing and he was starving.  “Are you alright?” He checked.

Spencer smiled.  “I’m fine.  I just...I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.” He paused, trying to figure out how to say what he needed to say.  “I want to have another baby, Aaron, but I think that if I do, or...even if we don’t...I need to leave the BAU.” He said, watching closely for Aaron’s reaction.

“Why?” He asked, his voice calm and steady.  He wasn’t upset or accusing, he was simply asking the reason.

“I think that having us both in the BAU with a child, or children, is asking for too much trouble.  We’ve been lucky, nothing more than minor injuries recently, but we’ve both almost died in the line of duty.  We knew that going in, we know that going to every case we accept.  But chances are if something happens to one of us, it’ll happen to both of us.  I don’t want our kids to grow up without either of their parents.  I’ve been being pursued by Georgetown for years and the salary would actually increase.  I could set my own hours and be home more, be there with Jack and even with another baby.  I love the BAU and I love working with you, but I think it's time that I moved on.”

Aaron listened to him and nodded.  “I’m never going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do.  If you want to leave the BAU, and it's something that YOU really want, I won’t stop you.  If you’re doing it because you think you have to, or you think that I won’t, I want you to know that’s not true.  If you really want someone home with the kids and you don’t want to quit, I could always move departments or even go back to law.”

“You would quit the BAU for me?” Spencer asked, completely shocked by his mate’s response.

“I’d do anything for you.  Honestly, you aren’t the only one who’s thought about it.  If you want to stay at the BAU, I would be willing to be a stay-at-home daddy.” He told him.  Spencer really thought about it.

“I think...I think I want to leave.” He finally said.  “I’ve wanted to go back into academia for a long time, but I love the work I was doing.  Besides, if I get pregnant, I’d have to have almost a year long sabbatical from the BAU anyway.”

“We don’t have to decide anything right now.  We have time.” Aaron reminded him.  They had finished dinner and they stood in comfortable silence, cleaning the dishes and picking up the kitchen.  

Spencer’s heat came and went in a whirlwind of passion.  Having been together so long, they no longer barely needed to speak to know what the other wanted or needed.  Spencer still couldn’t believe how in sync the two of them were.  Surprisingly, after having to try quite a few times before they finally got pregnant with Jack, Spencer knew immediately that this heat had done the job.

As they came out of the haze and Aaron started to clean up, Spencer reached for his wrist.  “I’m pregnant.” He said, and Aaron looked at him as if he were crazy.

“Your heat JUST ended.  You haven’t even showered yet.” Aaron said.  “You can’t-”

“I can know.  I DO know.  I don’t know why or how, but I know for a fact that I am absolutely pregnant.  Nice work, Alpha.” He smirked.

“Spencer, if you’re messing with me…” He warned.

“I’m not.  I wouldn’t, not about this.  I don’t know how I know but...here.  Give me your hand.” He said, reaching for Aaron’s hand.  “Feel our bond, feel me.” He put his hand on his abdomen.  Aaron startled, feeling the same thing Spencer did.

“Oh my God, you’re pregnant.” He said, eyes widening.  Then he attacked Spencer’s lips and pushed him back onto the nest.  “Why didn’t we know this the first time?” He asked.

“I probably did, I just didn’t know what it meant.” He said.  “I was also so worried because it hadn’t happened yet.”  They both suddenly grinned at each other.  “I can’t believe it! Jack is going to have a little brother or sister!”

They decided they weren’t going to tell anyone quite yet, not even Jack.  He was growing up to be a very bright child and Spencer and Aaron both adored him.  Spencer constantly melted over the dark eyes that matched his daddy’s and Aaron was continually gobsmacked by the intellect he already showed at four.  It took a couple of weeks for Spencer to take a pregnancy test, and he wasn’t at all surprised to find it positive.  He left it on the bathroom counter, knowing that Aaron would find it when he came home.

He was pleasantly surprised to find that he was only having very mild nausea, and wasn’t nearly as sick as he had been with Jack.  He vividly remembered the months of barely being able to move for being so sick to his stomach.  Jack was already in bed when Aaron got home, a late night finishing up paperwork from a case that had been fairly easy.  Spencer was in bed, too, trying not to give anything away on his face.

Aaron went to Jack’s bedroom first, as he always did, and gently fixed his son’s blankets and kissed his forehead.  He tucked his stuffed elephant back into his arms, then closed the door and made his way to his and Spencer’s bedroom.  “Hey little love.” He greeted.

“Hi Aaron.” Spencer said, reading through a book.  Aaron dropped his bag, worked his tie off, then headed to the bathroom.  Spencer put the book down and sure enough, just a couple of seconds later he came flying back out of the bathroom, pregnancy test held in his hands.  “Hi Aaron.” He said again, grinning.

“So...you’re definitely…?” Aaron asked, his smile mirroring his mate’s.

“You’re going to be a daddy again.” Spencer confirmed and Aaron moved in, kissing him hard.  “I have an appointment scheduled in two days from now.  Can you come with?” He asked.

“I’ll make it work.” He promised.  “I really love you.” He said.  

“I love you, too.  Now, go take a shower and come get in bed.” He instructed.  Aaron gave him one more kiss, started to get up, turned around and gave him another kiss, then headed for the bathroom.

Spencer sat in the bed waiting for Aaron, his hand over his flat abdomen.  He was really excited to be pregnant again and couldn’t wait to give Jack a sibling.  He’d wanted a brother or sister so badly growing up.  When Aaron got into bed, damp from the shower, Spencer immediately crawled into his arms.  

Spencer had made his appointment for a time when Jack was at preschool.  It wasn’t that he didn’t want his son to know, he just wasn’t ready to tell anyone other than Aaron yet.  They both took off from Quantico and headed to the doctors.  Spencer had been seeing Dr. Seymour for years and was very comfortable with her.  She greeted them, ran blood and urine tests, and then congratulated them.  Spencer was only about four weeks along, so they still agreed that they were going to keep it to themselves for now.  They scheduled a follow up appointment for six weeks later.

“Aaron?” Spencer asked, as they drove back to Quantico.  “I’m ready to leave the BAU.  I don’t want to tell anyone about the pregnancy yet, but I’m ready to put in my notice.” He said, with a deep breath.

“Are you sure?” Aaron checked and Spencer nodded.

“I’ll be sad to leave, but it's time.” He said.  “And, I can still consult occasionally.  You know, when you’re completely stumped and need my brilliance.” He teased.  “I’m not going to apply for a position at Georgetown yet.  Probably after I have the baby.  We’re set financially and there’s no reason to start a new job, just to have to leave eight months in.”

“I think that’s fine.  Jack will be thrilled to have you home all the time.  Are you sure you won’t go out of your mind with boredom?” Aaron asked.

“I’ve actually got two PhD’s, and three masters that I’m in the middle of.  This will give me time to finish them up.  There’s also one more PhD program I wanted to complete and if I start now, I should be done by the time the baby is here.” He said.  “Let’s tell the team first, then we’ll go to Strauss.” He decided as they parked and headed up to their offices.

Hotch called everyone into the conference room and soon they were all there, sitting and waiting for Hotch to brief them.  “Sorry to grab you all.  We actually don’t have a case, but we do have something to tell you all.” He said.  “Spencer?”

“I have made a difficult decision.” Spencer said, standing up to face his friends.  “With Jack getting older and both Aaron and I here, I’ve decided it's time for me to leave the BAU.” Everyone stared at him and he held up his hands to finish talking.  “I love you all, you know I do.  You’re more than co-workers, you are family.  You’re mine and Aaron’s family.  I never intended to stay for more than three years, but then I met Aaron and…” He paused, taking a breath and trying not to cry.  “I don’t want something to go wrong and Jack be left without both his fathers.  I’ve been pursued by many different jobs and agencies, but I’m going to be accepting a position at Georgetown.  That way I can plan my schedule around Jack and chances of me getting shot or blown up are significantly less. 

“Spence…” JJ said, wiping away tears.  “I can’t even imagine the BAU without you.” She said.

“It’s going to be hard, but I know it's the right decision.” He said, moving towards her and hugging her close.  

“We’re going to miss the hell out of you, kid.” Rossi said.  

“What am I going to do without my little brother to pick on?” Morgan asked, pulling him into a hug when JJ let him go.

“Guys, I’ll still be around.  It’s not like you’re never going to see me again.” He said.

“I know, but it still won’t be the same.” Emily argued.

“We’re going to tell Strauss once we finish up here.  I’ll give her my two week notice and I’ll still be available if you need a consult.” He told them.  “But, thank you.” He told them, choking up a little himself.

Strauss was a little easier, though she was upset that he would be leaving.  She promised him that he’d always have a place if he ever wanted to return.  The two weeks went fast and on Spencer’s last day, the BAU threw him a party.  He tried hard to keep his emotions in check, but leaving was proving harder than he’d expected it to be.  By the end of the day, he’d packed up his stuff, said goodbye to everyone (with many hugs and tears) and he and Hotch headed out.  Spencer turned around for one last look at the place that had been his home for the past seven years, then turned back and followed his mate.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty Five - Break This Down

We're gonna break this down

We're gonna rock the town

Everyone all around

Let's be whoever like this

Stronger together like this

Break This Down: Descendents 3

Spencer had been doing well, almost no morning sickness or dizziness.  He was happy that he seemed to feel so much better this pregnancy.  It was very strange to have Aaron get up in the mornings, get ready and go to work without him, but he was very much enjoying being home with his son.  He got to wake him up, make him breakfast, take him to preschool and then spend the day with him.  It wasn’t that he never spent time with Jack before this, but now… He adored his son, he was bright and happy and inquisitive.  Spencer began to teach him more than he was learning in preschool, but he didn’t want him to have the same childhood he’d had.  Even if he had the same IQ or higher, Spencer wanted him to be a kid.  

Spencer reminded Aaron that his ten week appointment was tomorrow and Aaron promised him that he’d be there.  He arrived at the doctor’s and about five minutes later, Aaron came in.  They headed back and got ready.  Spencer had been too early in the pregnancy last time for an ultrasound, so they were excited to have one today.  They both remembered how incredible it was to hear the heartbeat and see the tiny images of Jack.

Dr. Seymour came in and checked him over, then brought in the ultrasound machine.  “You guys ready?” She asked, with a smile.  They both grinned, holding hands and nodded yes.  She squirted the cold jelly on and Spencer shivered.  “Okay, here we go.” She said.  “Heart sounds good.  Baby is the right size.  Everything looks perfect!” She said.

Spencer and Aaron both cried, seeing their baby.  It was too early to find out the gender, but Dr. Seymour printed photos and gave them a DVD that included hearing the heart.  She had them make the next appointment for four weeks later and wished them luck.

“Aaron?” Spencer asked, as they were leaving. 

“Hmm?” 

“I’m...I’m still not ready to tell people.” He admitted.  “I don’t know why.  I know that when I was pregnant with Jack, I wanted everyone to know right away, but...I don’t know.  I just want to keep it between us.  Though, I think we should tell Jack.” He said.

“Spencer, baby, that’s fine.  If you want to wait, we can wait.” Aaron agreed.  “We can tell Jack tonight.  I should be home by 5, barring a case coming in.” He explained.  They parted with a kiss and Spencer decided to go to a bookstore before picking up Jack.  He picked up a handful of books about being an older sibling and children’s books explaining about babies.  He carefully put them away so Jack wouldn’t see the bag (he loved new books, just like his Omega Daddy) and headed to pick up his son.

Aaron was only about a half an hour late, but he had called so Spencer was able to keep dinner warm for him.  They sat around the table and Aaron reached for Spencer’s hand.  “Hey Jack, did you have a good day today, buddy?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah!  At school, we made pizza then we ate it for lunch!” He told them excitedly.  

“Wow!  That sounds like fun!” Aaron said, smiling over at Spencer.

“Yeah! And I played with my best friend Becky at playtime.” He said. They let him ramble about what he had done until he finally ran out of steam.  When he was quiet for a while, they glanced at each other.

“Jack, baby, Alpha Daddy and I have something to tell you.” Spencer said, lifting Jack onto his lap.  Jack immediately scented him, then settled down, looking his big brown eyes up at him.  Spencer was helpless to those eyes, both on his son and his mate.  “Now, you know that Omega Daddy carried you in his belly, right?” Jack nodded.  “Well, Alpha Daddy and I are going to have another baby.  Omega Daddy has another baby in my belly.”

Jack stared at them for a minute, looking between his fathers.  “So...I get a little brother?” He asked.

“Well, maybe.  You might have a little sister.” Aaron told him.  “What do you think about that?”

“Do I still get to live here?” He asked.

“Jack, baby, of course you do.  The new baby won’t replace you.  It’ll be another baby for all of us to love.  And you would be a big brother!  You’ll get to help to take care of the baby and protect it.” Spencer hugged his son close.

“If I can still live here, then it's okay.” He said, sounding completely nonchalant.  

“We will always love you, so much.” Aaron promised.  

“I love you, too.” Jack replied and Spencer kissed his son.  Then Aaron reached for him and he went willingly and Aaron hugged and kissed him, too.  From his position on Aaron’s lap, he looked at Spencer.  “So there’s a baby in your tummy right now?” He asked.

“Yep.”

“Is it a boy or a girl?” 

“Well, we don’t know yet.  Baby’s have to stay inside the tummy for nine months, until they’re big enough to come out.  We’ll know in a few months if it's a boy or girl.”

“How do you know? Does the baby tell you?” Spencer had known they were in for a barrage of questions, but he’d never deny his son the opportunity for more knowledge.

“Well…” He paused.  “Hold on, let me show you something.” He got up and got one of the ultrasound pictures to show Jack.  “When I go to the doctor, they have a special machine that lets them see into my tummy.  It can take pictures through the skin and the muscle.  See, this right here, this is the baby.” He pointed out the small blob.

“It doesn’t look like a baby.” He said, frowning at it.

Spencer and Aaron both laughed.  “Well, no, not yet.  It’s still very, very small.  That’s why we don’t know if it's a boy or girl yet.  When it gets a little bit bigger, then when the doctor takes the pictures, we’ll be able to see what it is.”

“How big does the baby have to be before it comes out?” Jack asked.

“Come on, buddy, let’s move to the living room.  It's more comfortable there.” Aaron said, knowing they were in for a lot more questions.”  He stood up and carried Jack through.  Spencer grabbed the bag of books and followed them in.  They settled Jack in between them.

“When you were born, you weighed 7 lbs.” Spencer told him.

“That’s pretty little.  I was in your tummy?  How did you know I was big enough?” He asked.

“Well, doctors know how long a baby needs to stay inside until it's strong enough to come out.  Plus, YOU were very little, but Omega Daddy was VERY big.” Spencer laughed.

“Huh?” Jack was confused.  Aaron reached for a photo album and found some pictures of Spencer when he was pregnant with Jack.

“See, you grew in Daddy’s tummy, just like the new baby will.”

“Will you look like that again?!” Jack asked, his eyes wide.

Spencer couldn’t help the laugh.  “Yep.  And when he gets big enough that you can see my tummy, you’ll be able to feel him move, too.”

“How does the baby come out?” He asked.  “Wait, how did the  baby get in there?”  They had both been waiting for and dreading that question.

“Well, when it's time for him to come out, Omega Daddy will have to work really hard and he’ll give birth to him.  He’ll be so brave and strong.” Aaron said, with a fond look at Spencer.  “We’ll show you more when it gets closer, okay?”  Jack nodded.  “As for how he got in there…” He trailed off, looking at Spencer for help, but Spencer simply looked amused as Aaron floundered a little.

“Well, when an Alpha and Omega get together, they have something called heat.”

“I know that.  I have to go to Aunt JJ’s when you have heat.” Jack said.

“That’s right.  And...um...during heat, we…” Aaron stammered.  Spencer finally took pity on him.

“Jack, we know that you like to know answers to everything.  And we want you to ask questions, but that’s a question for when you’re a little older, okay?” He said.  Jack just nodded, curling into his Omega dad.  “Do you have any other questions we can answer for you?”

Jack gave a little sigh.  “You PROMISE you won’t love the new baby more than me?”

“We 100% promise.” Spencer told him.  “You know what, Omega Daddy bought you some books about being a big brother.  Would you like to read one of them tonight?” Jack nodded.  “Okay, who do you want to give you your bath?”

“Alpha Daddy.” He said.  Spencer scooped him into his lap and smothered him with kisses, making Jack giggle and squirm.  

“Go take your bath and I’ll be up to tuck you in and read to you, okay?  I love you.” He said.  Jack hugged him tightly.

“Love you more.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty Six - When A Heart Breaks

Woke up this morning

And I heard the news

I know the pain of a heartbreak

I don't have answers

And neither do you

I know the pain of a heartbreak

When A Heart Breaks: Ben Rector

Spencer only had a little morning sickness but mostly, he felt good.  At fifteen weeks, he could see the bump starting and surprisingly, no one had been more excited than Jack.  He talked to the baby every day.  The books had helped and Jack was really excited to be a big brother.  They had to move Spencer’s appointment twice, due to ongoing cases.  Spencer could have gone by himself, but he preferred Aaron to be there, and Dr. Seymour had agreed that since Spencer felt fine and it was his second pregnancy, there was no reason not to push it back.

He had just started his seventeenth week when Aaron finally was home long enough to join him for a visit.  Aaron had taken the whole day and Jack was spending the day with his aunts.  Since the BAU was on a stand down after the last case, the women had pleaded to take Jack and spend the day with him.  Neither Spencer nor Aaron had told anyone else about the baby, so they agreed.  Jack knew that it was a secret and hadn’t told anyone.

Spencer was glad that Aaron had the day off, as he actually wasn’t feeling great today. He was a little achy and feverish.  “Half of Jack’s class is out with some mutant cold.” Spencer told Aaron, as they got dressed and ready to go to the doctors.  “It’s not surprising that I probably caught it, too.”

“We can reschedule.” Aaron offered.  Spencer chuckled.

“No way, we’ve already rescheduled this twice.  You have the whole day off, let’s just go then you can spend your day pampering me.” He teased.  They shared a brief kiss and headed to the doctors.  They were hoping that she’d be able to tell them the gender, though they both thought they were having another boy.  

They got checked in, Spencer changed into a gown and they waited excitedly for Dr. Seymour.  She checked him over and asked about how he was doing.  He told her that he’d been good, but hadn’t been feeling great today.  She promised to go easy on him and pulled in the ultrasound.  Spencer and Aaron exchanged smiles and held hands as she moved the wand over his belly.

After a few minutes with nothing, they both looked up at her.  Her face was calm, but they could tell something was wrong.  “Dr. Seymour?” Spencer asked, a tremor in his voice.

“Hold on, let me go recalibrate the machine.” She said, giving them a forced smile.  She stepped out and Spencer looked at Aaron in fright.

“Aaron?” He asked, trying not to cry.

“I’m...I’m sure everything is fine.  She just needs to recalibrate the machine.” He said, sounding more certain than he looked.  She came back in a minute later and started the process over again.  Still, there was nothing.

“Spencer, Aaron...I’m so sorry.  There’s...there’s no heartbeat.” She said, sounding devastated.

“What? What do you mean?  You have to find the heartbeat.” Spencer said.

“I’m telling you that your baby didn’t make it.” She explained as kindly as she could.

“Oh my God.” Spencer said, his hand coming to his mouth.  “No! NO!  You're wrong!  I want another doctor!  I felt it move yesterday!” He screamed.  Aaron was crying and leaned down to hug his mate but Spencer pushed him away.  “Get another doctor!”

“I’m so sorry.” Dr. Seymour said.  

“No!  NO!  Aaron!” He screamed, sitting up and falling into his mate’s arms.  “My baby!  No, please!  Please!  You have to save it.  Please!” He begged.  Aaron was sobbing hearing his mate’s distress.

“Isn’t there ANYTHING you can do?” Aaron pleaded, holding Spencer tightly.

“I’m so sorry.” Dr. Seymour said again.  “I wish there was something I could do, but your baby is already gone.” She had tears in her own eyes.

“But...what do I do now?” Spencer asked, hardly able to talk.

Dr. Seymour flinched, hating to have to tell him what was going to have to happen.  “Because you are so far along, this is what’s called a late-term miscarriage.  At this point, we will have to induce labor and you will have to deliver.”

“No, God no.” Spencer begged.  “Please!”  Aaron thought he might be sick, but continued to hold Spencer tight.  

“I’m going to get the paperwork started to have you admitted.  Spencer, Aaron, I’m truly so, so sorry.” She said, before leaving the room.

“I’m sorry.” Spencer said to Aaron, clinging to him as tight as he could.  “I’m so sorry.  I didn’t...I don’t...I don’t know what I did.  I didn’t mean to kill our baby.” He cried.

Aaron pulled back so he could look Spencer in his eyes.  “You did NOT kill our baby.  You didn’t do anything wrong.  This is NOT your fault.” 

“I felt him…” Spencer said, sounding more lost and afraid than Aaron had ever heard him.  “Yesterday.  I felt him move yesterday.  How did this happen?”

“I don’t…” Aaron’s voice broke with more tears.  “I don’t know, little love.  I don’t know how or why it happened.”

“Jack...he’s with JJ, Emily and Garcia.” Spencer said.  “They’re admitting me...what do I…” He could barely form a sentence.

“I’ll call JJ and ask if she can keep him for a day or two.” Aaron said. 

“Nobody knows.” Spencer whispered.  “Maybe that’s why.  Maybe because I didn’t tell anyone, that’s why he was taken from me.”

“Spencer.” Aaron was anguished.  

“Call JJ.  Tell her what’s happening.  Ask her not to tell the others.” Spencer’s voice had gone flat.

Aaron wanted to stay with his mate, but he stepped into the hallway and picked up his phone to call JJ.

“Jack’s fine, overprotective Daddy.” JJ teased as she answered the phone.

“JJ?” He asked and she could hear the tone of his voice.

“Hotch, what is it?” She asked.

“Can you make sure you’re alone?” He responded.  She agreed and moved away from the group.  She let him know once he was alone.  “Spencer and I are at the doctor.  We were here for his…” His voice broke and the tears started again.  “For his seventeen week checkup.”

“Spencer’s pregnant again?” She asked.

“He was.” He said, breaking down and crying.  “We lost the baby.  They have to induce him and he’s going to have to deliver.”

“Oh Hotch…” JJ breathed.  “I’m so...I’m so sorry.  What can I do?”

“No one knows and Spencer isn’t ready to tell anyone yet.  But we’re going to be in the hospital for a bit.  Can you keep Jack for a few days?” He asked.  “But don’t tell him anything.” He rushed to add.

“Of course, anything I can do.” She promised.  “I hope you know we all love you both, very much.  Give Spencer my love.” She said.  He couldn’t even respond and he ended the call.  Dr. Seymour was just coming back into the room and Aaron followed her in.

“Okay, Spencer, we’re going to transfer you to labor and delivery.” Spencer moaned another sob.  They helped him into a wheelchair and Spencer cried the entire way up.  He had his own room and he looked so small and helpless on the bed.  Aaron remembered how adamant he was about not having a hospital birth with Jack and though they hadn’t really talked about it yet, he knew he’d wanted to have another homebirth with this baby.

Spencer appeared to be in his own world as doctors and nurses came in and out.  Aaron had gotten on the bed and was sitting behind him, holding him tightly.  There were IV’s and medicines and machines and Aaron hated every single second.  “We can give you an epidural so you don’t feel anything.” A nurse told him, her voice soft and kind.

“No.” Spencer said, his voice back to that flat monotone that scared Aaron more than the crying and sobbing.

“Okay, but it is an option if you-” Spencer cut her off.

“I said NO!  I killed my baby, the least I can do is suffer along with it.” He snapped.  Aaron hugged him tight.  He could tell the nurse was ready to respond.

“He said no.  Please respect his wishes.” He said, sharply and she nodded and left the room.  He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know how to comfort his mate.  “I love you, little love, I’m right here with you, always.” He promised.  Spencer said nothing.  

It took about three hours for them to get the labor started.  Aaron remembered Spencer’s labor with Jack, how beautiful it was.  How connected they were and how he had supported his mate.  How Spencer had fought through every pain with more ferocity than Aaron could have ever believed.  How they looked into each other’s eyes as their son finally came into the world.  This wasn’t going to be the same.  

Spencer let Aaron stay behind him, but refused to talk to him at all.  He wouldn’t accept any of Aaron’s attempts at comfort and eventually asked him to get off the bed.  It hurt, but he knew Spencer was struggling.  Spencer refused to even look at Aaron as the pain got worse, struggling through each contraction.  There was no comfort to be had, no reward at the end of a hard journey.  Finally the doctor came back in and Spencer was told to push.  He held Aaron’s hand, but still refused to even look at him.

With one last push, their baby was delivered.  “Would you like to hold your baby?” The doctor offered.  Spencer didn’t know what to do.

“What is it?” He asked, his voice still flat.

“It’s a boy.” The doctor told him.  Spencer let out a sob.  

“Aaron?” He finally asked, looking over at him.  Aaron was there in a second.  “I don’t know...if I c-can.  But I have-” He sobbed.  “I have to hold him.”

“We’ll do it together.” Aaron promised.  He got back in bed and wrapped himself around Spencer.  The doctor brought up the tiny being, just barely human looking.  They both sobbed as they saw him.  

Spencer brought him to his chest, cradling his child.  “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He cried.  “I was supposed to protect you.  I’m so sorry.”

“Spencer, this isn’t your fault.” Aaron said.

“It is my fault.  I was the one carrying him, I was the one who killed him.” He sobbed, kissing the tiny head.  He passed the lifeless baby to Aaron who cried, too, holding him and kissing him.

“I love you, Spencer.  It’s going to be okay.  I promise, it’s going to be okay.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty Seven - Drag Me Down

If I didn't have you, there would be nothing left

The shell of a man that could never be his best

If I didn't have you, I'd never see the sun

Drag Me Down: One Direction

Spencer was released the next day and Aaron brought him home.  He took him upstairs and tucked him into bed, much as would have with Jack.  Spencer was emotionally and physically exhausted and the doctor had prescribed something to help him sleep.  He was out like a light within ten minutes and Aaron sat with him for a few more minutes.  Then he called the team, minus JJ, to come over to the house.

He looked terrible, he knew.  He hadn’t showered or shaved and his eyes were red from crying.  His heart felt like it was missing a piece and it hurt to breathe.  They arrived and all looked shocked at the state of him.  He invited them in and explained what had happened.  He broke down and found himself surrounded by his friends, his family, holding him and comforting him.  He hadn’t realized how much he’d needed it, he’d been so focused on Spencer and his needs.

They promised to be there for whatever they needed.  After they left, Aaron called JJ and asked her to bring Jack home.  Spencer had agreed to let Aaron be the one to tell Jack, since he didn’t think he’d be able to do it.   Jack took one look at his dad and ran to him, hugging him tight.  He didn’t know what happened but he knew his daddy was sad.  

Aaron pulled Jack into his lap and settled on the couch.  “Hey buddy, welcome home.” He said, sounding exhausted.

“What’s wrong daddy?” He asked, astute as always.

“I have some bad news for you.” He took a deep breath.  “Omega daddy and I went to the doctor the other day, and the baby…” He had to breathe again.  “We found out the baby died.”

“The baby died?” Jack asked, his eyes wide and beginning to fill with tears.

“Yeah, buddy.  We don’t know why or how, but he’s no longer in Omega Daddy’s tummy.”  He paused, letting Jack work through his own emotions.

“You’re very sad.” He said and Aaron nodded, kissing the top of his head.  “Is Omega Daddy very sad?”

“Yeah, Jack, he’s very sad.” Aaron told him.  

“I’m very sad, too.” He said, the tears spilling over.  

“It’s okay to be sad.  It’s always sad when someone dies, especially a baby.” Aaron explained.  “Omega Daddy...he’s going to be sad for a while.  We might have to help him a little.”

“Can I see him?” Jack asked.

“Right now he’s sleeping, but when he wakes up, I’m sure he’ll be very happy to see you.” Aaron said.

“Did you find out if it was a boy or girl?” Jack asked.

“It was a boy.” Aaron told him.

“What was his name?” Aaron was slightly taken aback.  Spencer and he had discussed it and had in fact, named the baby, but he was surprised that Jack would ask about it.

“His name was Joseph.  Joey.” Aaron told him.

When Spencer woke, he couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed.  Aaron checked on him frequently and when he found him awake, he moved quietly through the bedroom.  “Hey.” He whispered.

“Hey.” Spencer responded.  

“Jack’s home.” He told him.  “I told him what happened, he’s upset but he’s more worried about you and me.” He explained.  “He wants to see you.  I’ve practically had to hold him hostage to keep him from coming up here.”

“Let him come up.” Spencer said.  Aaron kissed his forehead and pretended not to notice when Spencer flinched.  Soon, he was back, holding their son.  Jack squirmed to get down and rushed to Spencer’s side.  Before jumping, like he normally would have, he slowed down and climbed into the bed carefully.  He snuggled into Spencer’s embrace.

“You’re very sad.” Jack told him and Spencer couldn’t do anything but nod as he started to cry again.

“Alpha daddy said it's okay to be sad.  He and I are sad, too.” Jack explained and Spencer pulled the boy closer.  “I love you, Omega Daddy.  I’m sorry that Joey died.”

“Jack…” Spencer choked.  “You are an amazing little boy, do you know that?”

“Yeah, you and daddy tell me all the time.” He said, seriously and both Spencer and Aaron had to laugh at that.  “Can I sleep with you guys tonight?  Maybe if we’re all together, we won’t be so sad.”

“I think that’s a great idea, Jack.” Spencer said.  Aaron brought up some food for Spencer, but he couldn’t eat.  He gave Jack his bath and got him in his pajamas, then brought him back to his and Spencer’s bedroom.  Spencer was awake, but barely.  He was just laying there, tears flowing constantly and Aaron’s heart broke all over again.  Jack just climbed up and into Spencer’s arms.  The boy provided a lot of comfort and as he snuggled close, he could see Spencer drift off to sleep.

He took a shower of his own and then got into bed with his family.  This should have been a happy time, not the worst time he’d ever been through.  He had no idea how to help Spencer and his heart ached for their lost baby.  He fell asleep watching his son snuggle with his mate.

The following days nothing seemed to get better.  Spencer was completely empty, unable and unwilling to do anything.  He barely ate, slept constantly and refused to get out of bed.  Aaron was on a leave of duty.  He’d always been involved with Jack, but had never been the sole caretaker for his son.  Jack was frustrated, he wanted Spencer, but Spencer couldn’t seem to do anything, even for Jack.

Aaron had finally called in a counselor and Dr. Seymour, not knowing what to do at all.  They both agreed to make a housecall, since Spencer was refusing to go anywhere or do anything.  He also called JJ, hoping that maybe his best friend could get through where Aaron couldn’t.  JJ came over and Aaron let her in, accepting the hug she gave him.  “He hasn’t gotten out of bed in three days.” He explained.  “He won’t eat, he barely interacts with Jack, he won’t talk.  I don’t know how to help him.” 

JJ nodded, giving Aaron another hug.  “Let me try to talk to him.” She said.  She got two bottles of water and headed upstairs to the bedroom.  She knocked gently, then let herself in.  Spencer was awake, laying on his side, staring into nothing.  

“Hi Spence.” She said, quietly.  He glanced over at her, but then went back to staring at nothing.

She climbed into his bed, and pulled him into her arms and she felt him start to cry.  “I’ve got you.” She said.  She pulled him into her arms, stroking his back and hair and let him cry.  Once he’d calmed down, she shifted so she could see his face.  “I’m so sorry, Spencer.” She told him.

“JJ, I…” He started.  

“Shh, don’t talk, just listen for a minute.” She said, still rubbing his back.  “I know what you’re going through.  Do you remember Will, the detective from New Orleans?” She asked and Spencer nodded.  “He and I...hit it off.  I got pregnant.” She said and Spencer looked up at her sharply.  “I lost the baby at ten weeks.  It was the most horrible thing I’ve ever gone through.  I didn’t know why it had happened to me, or what I had done wrong.  Do you know what I did wrong?” She asked and Spencer shook his head.  “Nothing.  I did nothing wrong.  It just...wasn’t meant to be.  It hurt like hell, it still hurts like hell.  But I had to get back up and keep going.  And so do you, for Aaron and for Jack.  Your son needs you, your mate needs you.  I know it hurts, I know that no one, not even Aaron, can understand what you’re going through, but I do.  I understand Spencer.  And as much as it feels like it, the world hasn’t ended.  Grieve your baby, but don’t kill yourself in the process.”

“It hurts so bad, JJ.” Spencer said, some emotion finally coming back into his voice.

“I know.  It always will, but it will get better.  You have Aaron and Jack and things will get better, I promise.”

JJ let Spencer cry and once he had cried himself out, she helped him sit up.  “You need to get up and take a shower.  Then come downstairs and we’ll have lunch.” She said.  “Aaron wants to help, you just have to let him.”

Spencer just sniffed.  He let JJ help him up and into the bathroom.  The water felt amazing and he just stood under the spray for a while.  He managed to wash his hair and body, feeling better getting the dirt and grime off himself.  JJ had fresh clothes for him and stayed while he got dressed.  She hugged him again and brushed his hair for him.  Then she helped him downstairs and Aaron was shocked to see him.

“Spencer!” He cried and rushed to him.  Spencer hugged him and held him for a moment.  

“Let’s get some lunch.” JJ said, getting into their fridge and pulling out stuff to make them a meal.

It was awkward and quiet but Spencer was out of bed and starting to function again.  Hotch thought, everything is going to be okay.  He was very, very wrong.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty Eight - Shadow

Got me straight up drinkin' from the barrel

I've been losin' hours

Singin' sad songs underneath the gallows

Runnin' from my shadow

Shadow: Macklemore

Aaron stayed home with Spencer for another two days before Spencer was finally taking care of himself and Jack again.  He was still quiet and withdrawn but he was functioning.  He rarely spoke to Aaron and had taken to spending his nights in Jack’s bedroom.  He claimed their son was having nightmares and Aaron didn’t argue with him.

Aaron’s first day back was pretty relaxed.  He had been in his office most of the day working on catching up with paperwork.  He hadn’t been paying much attention to time when there was a knock on the door.  He looked up to see Rossi standing there.  “Aaron, it’s 4:00.  You haven’t left your office since you got here.” He said.

“I have a lot to catch up on.” He said.

“I sent everyone else home.  Have a drink with me.” Dave said, coming into his office with a bottle of scotch.

Aaron didn’t argue, he knew it wouldn’t get him anywhere.  Dave was a persistent guy and so he moved his paperwork to the side and nodded for him to sit down  Dave poured two glasses of scotch and they clinked their glasses together.  “How are you doing, Aaron?” Dave asked.

“Great.” He intoned with sarcasm.

“Come on, it’s me.  Talk to me.” He said, swallowing the bitter liquid.

“Well, I lost my son and my mate in one go.  My son is dead and my mate refuses to look at or speak to me.” Aaron said, finishing his drink and holding it out for Dave to pour another, which he did.

“Aaron, he lost-” Dave started.

“I know he lost the baby.  But so did I!  It’s like he doesn’t even realize that I lost the same thing he did.” Aaron said.

“I know.” Dave said, calmly.  

“I’m trying to keep everything together, but I need him.  I need his support, too.” Aaron said, finishing that drink and reaching out for another.  Dave raised an eyebrow but poured it.

“Go easy, Aaron.” He warned.

“Why?  No one will notice.” He said, bitterly.

“You need to talk to him.  You need to make him understand that you’re in this together.” 

“I’ve been trying!” Aaron raised his voice.  “He won’t look at me, he won’t sleep in our bed.  He’s been sleeping in Jack’s bed.  I know he’s hurting, but…” His voice broke as the tears started.  “So am I.” He wept.

“I wish I had some advice for you.” Dave said, as Aaron finished the next drink but didn’t hold his glass out for more.  “Do you want one of us to try to talk to him?”

Aaron shook his head.  “No, I think that would make it worse.” He said.  “I just, I want my mate back.”

“He’s still there, you guys will get through this.” 

“I honestly don’t know.” Aaron said.

“You need a ride home?” Dave offered.

“No, I need to finish this.  It’ll give me enough time to get the liquor out of my system.  Thank you for this, I needed it.” 

“I’m always here for you, Aaron.  Here for you both.” Dave said, leaving Aaron alone.

Aaron stayed for another hour and finished up his paperwork.  The liquor and the relief it had provided had left his system, just as he’d told Dave.  He thought about going home to the silence and decided he just couldn’t do it.  He drove to a local bar and just the noise was enough to help soothe some of his frustrations.  He took a seat at the bar and ordered a drink, allowing the chatter around him and the alcohol to take him out of his mind just a little.

He felt his phone going off and saw the text from Spencer, asking if he’d be home for dinner.  He closed his phone and put it away, taking another pull of his drink.  It was so nice to not have to sit in silence and the alcohol really helped.

By 10:00 when Aaron hadn’t responded or shown up, he texted Rossi.  Are you all still at the office?  Aaron isn’t home and he’s not responding.

Rossi read the text and didn’t respond.  He knew they had to work out things with each other.  He was, however, concerned that Aaron hadn’t made it home.  He assumed that he had stayed, working on paperwork in order to avoid going home.

Spencer had tucked Jack in and had paced downstairs for hours.  Neither Aaron or Rossi had responded to his texts and it was near midnight, and Aaron still wasn’t home.  He knew what the job was like, but Aaron had never just...NOT told him if they’d had a case and would be late.  He knew that he was being unfair to Aaron, but things were still too raw, still hurt too much.  

It was midnight when Spencer heard Aaron’s key in the lock.  He rushed to the foyer and what he saw made him ill.  There was a cab driver holding Aaron upright.  “What happened?!” Spencer asked.

“Bar manager called a cab and asked me to make sure he got home okay.” He said.  Spencer grabbed his wallet and handed him a $50.

“Thank you very much.  I’ll take him.” Spencer said, and they transferred Aaron’s arms to Spencer’s shoulder.

“Oh, the bar already paid me.” He said.

“You deserve it.  Really, thank you very much.” Spencer said, then closed the door and locked it behind him.  “Jesus, Aaron, what the hell happened?”

Aaron giggled.  “Drunk.” He said.

“Yeah, I can tell.” He said, struggling to get Aaron upstairs.

“Firs’ time...you talked to me...in…*hiccup*...weeks.” Aaron slurred.  

Spencer got him upstairs and dumped him on the bed.  He got his shoes, belt and tie off.  He manhandled Aaron so he was laying on his side.  Then he got two bottles of water, a bottle of Aspirin and placed it on the bedside.  He also placed a bucket right next to him.  Then he settled into the arm chair in their bedroom to watch him.  He was afraid that Aaron would choke and die during the night.

Spencer was glad that he stayed awake, since near 5 am Aaron woke up with a start and started to gag.  Spencer got up and shoved the bucket under him and helped him sit up.  He threw up for nearly an hour and almost passed back out.  “No, drink some water and take this.” He held two Aspirin in his hand.  Aaron was bleary and still obviously drunk and he did as he was told.  Then he fell back to the bed and Spencer cleaned up after him.

After he’d cleaned up and made sure Aaron was still breathing, he stepped out into the hallway and called Rossi.  Rossi answered, sounding far too chipper for 5 am.  “Rossi.”

“Rossi, it's Reid.  Aaron won’t be in today.” He said, his voice sharp.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, concerned.

“Aaron showed up here last night at midnight, so drunk a cabbie had to help him in.  He’s still passed out.” He said.  

“What?!” Rossi asked, surprised.

“Tell Strauss it's my fault.  Tell her I needed him home today.  I’ll talk to you later.” Spencer said, hanging up the phone.  

Spencer made breakfast for Jack and got him up and ready.  He brought him over to one of their neighbors.  She was an older woman who adored Jack and often babysat when they needed someone.  Spencer told her that Aaron was sick and he didn’t want Jack catching it and she was happy to have him.  Jack was always happy to spend time with her.  She had a dog who played with Jack and she gave him plenty of sweets and treats.

Spencer headed back home, figuring that Aaron would be out of it for a while longer.  He made bacon and eggs, bringing them upstairs, along with a cup of black coffee.  He was surprised to see Aaron sitting up, head in his hands.  “Good morning.” Spencer said, his voice soft but angry.   Aaron said nothing, hardly able to even look at Spencer.  “I made you some greasy food and I have coffee.” He said, putting it on the table next to their bed.

Spencer sat down in the chair he’d been in all night and picked up a book.  Aaron quietly picked up the breakfast and ate a little.  He didn’t eat much, still feeling very queasy from how much he’d drunk the night before.

“Where’s Jack?” Aaron asked, after he’d pushed away what was left of his food.

“At Patty’s.” He said, not looking up from the book.  “I called Rossi and told him you wouldn’t be in today.  I told him to tell Strauss it was my fault.”

“Spencer…”  Aaron started.

“Don’t.” Spencer warned.

“I need you to talk to me.” Aaron pleaded.  “I can’t stand the silence.  I can’t stand not having you in our bed.”

“So you figured the best way to solve the problem was to leave me wondering where you were for hours and have a cabbie carry you to our door?”

“No, I…” Aaron ran his hands through his hair.

“I’m sorry I’m not handling the death of our son as well as you.” Spencer finally snapped, getting up and storming into the library, locking the door behind him.  He burst into tears, trying to keep them muffled so Aaron wouldn’t hear.  He wanted Aaron, but at the same time, how could he ever face his Alpha.  Omega’s had one job, to bring children into the world and Spencer couldn’t even do that.  He knew that Aaron was going to sever the bond.  He just hoped that he could get out with as little hurt as possible.  He figured if he started separating them now, maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much when Aaron actually did it.

Things got worse.  Aaron started drinking every night and some nights he didn’t come home.  He and Spencer barely spoke and the team was starting to notice that something was wrong with Aaron.  The more he drank, the more he needed to drink.  After a month, he was drunk almost constantly, including while he was working.  The team was doing their best to protect him, they knew how upset he was but they also knew that something was going to have to change.

They confronted him and eventually got him to agree to go home for the day.  He was definitely drunk and they got him into a cab and sent him home.  At least he was able to walk and function.  He got home and was immediately irritated.  Spencer and Jack were both home, he’d forgotten that Jack had a day off of school.  He tried to sneak past them to go lay down and nurse his headache, but Jack spotted him.

“Daddy!” He cried, jumping up and running to him.  Aaron oofed as Jack’s body collided with his.  “Alpha Daddy, come play!” He tugged on his hand, excited.

“Jack, Daddy needs to go lay down.  He’s not feeling good.” He said, trying to pull away but Jack had a tight grip.

“No!  You never play with me anymore!  You never read to me or tuck me in or give me my bath!” He whined.  The whining just made his headache ramp up even more.

“Stop whining, Jack, I told you I’m not feeling well.” He said.

“Jack, baby, come on, I’ll play with you.” Spencer tried to coax, getting up from the floor and heading over to them.

“No!” Jack yelled.  “You’re no fun anymore! I don’t like you!” 

Aaron’s temper hit it's limit.  He lashed out, pulling his hand out of Jack’s grip and smacking him across his face.  “Well, I don’t like you either!” He screamed.  There was a moment of dead silence, then Spencer rushed to his son, scooping him up as he began to scream and cry.  He looked at Aaron with absolute terror in his face and Aaron’s face drained of all color.  He couldn’t believe what had just happened.  

Spencer held Jack close and shushed him, rocking him and kissing him.  “Get. Out.” His voice was angrier than Aaron had ever heard it.  He stood there in shocked silence for another moment, before turning and running out of the house.  He had gotten drunk and hit his son.  He had turned into his father.  He stopped to throw up and realized he had nowhere to go.

“Baby, baby look at me.” Spencer coaxed.  There was an angry red handprint on his face and Spencer felt ill.  “Okay, you’re okay.  My sweet boy, my little angel, you’re fine.” He said.  He carried Jack into the kitchen and got an ice pack.  He wrapped it in a towel and gently pressed it to Jack’s face.  Jack was crying harder than Spencer had ever seen him cry.  “I’m so sorry, baby.  Daddy didn’t mean what he said.  I love you, so so much.  I love you more than anything in the world.” Spencer continued to babble nonsense at his son, who couldn’t seem to stop crying.  Spencer knew that his cheek hurt, but that his heart hurt more.  His heart was as broken as Spencer’s was.  

“Jack, honey, can you look at me?” Spencer asked.  He hadn’t put his son down and Jack slowly looked up, eyes red and face tear streaked.  “I want you to go pack a little backpack, okay?  Get some clothes and some books and some of your toys.  You and I are going to go stay with Auntie JJ for a little while, okay?”

“Not Daddy?  Daddy won’t be there?” He asked, still looking fearful.  At that moment, Spencer could have killed Aaron, but he kept his calm for his son.  

“No, baby.  Just you and me and Auntie JJ.” He promised.  He gave him a kiss and set him down.  “Go pack, okay?” Jack nodded and rushed off to do what he was told.  Spencer packed a bag of his own and texted JJ that he and Jack needed a place to stay for a few days.  

Within twenty minutes, Spencer had put their bags in the car, then got himself and Jack in and drove to JJ’s.  There was a tiny bit of bruising on Jack’s face and anytime Spencer looked at it, he felt rage.  Jack had exhausted himself with all the crying and he was sound asleep as they pulled up to JJ’s.  JJ came outside to meet them.  Spencer gently picked up Jack out of the car, the boy’s head falling on Spencer’s shoulder.  JJ’s eyes widened when she saw Jack’s face, but Spencer shook his head no.  

Jack had his own room at JJ’s, so Spencer carried him in and laid him on the bed.  He found his favorite plushie and tucked them in, kissing him tenderly on the forehead.  He watched him for a minute, then turned on the nightlight and softly closed the door behind him.

“What happened?” JJ asked, completely aghast.

“Aaron hit him.” Spencer said, seething.

“He what?!” JJ honestly couldn’t believe it.  “Hotch...hit Jack?”

“Yes, he came home mid-day, Jack wanted to play with him and was pulling on his arm.  Hotch pulled away, hit Jack and told him that he didn’t like him.  Jack’s been inconsolable since it happened.” He said.  “Thank you for letting us come here, I just...I couldn’t stay there.” Then he burst into tears.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty Nine - Rescue My Heart

So reach out your hand to me

Come down

Rescue my heart I'll drown

Without you

Rescue My Heart: Liz Longely

JJ led Spencer to the couch and let him cry until he had himself under control.  When he finally calmed down, JJ had water for him and he accepted it gratefully.  “We confronted him about his drinking today.” She told him.

“It’s gotten bad, but I hadn’t realized how bad.” Spencer admitted.  “Things are just…” He sighed.  “They’re terrible, JJ.”

“Is it because of the miscarriage?” She asked.

“I know he’s planning on leaving me, on leaving us.  I lost our baby and I quit my job.  He didn’t sign on for any of this.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“He didn’t have to.” Spencer said.  “I failed as an Omega.  I failed as HIS Omega.  He’s been drinking and pulling away from us since it happened.  I’ve been trying to shield Jack from it, but…” He looked up and the pain in his eyes made JJ hurt.  “He HIT my son.”

“Do you know where he is right now?” JJ asked and Spencer shook his head.  

“I told him to get out, then Jack and I packed some bags and came here.  I just couldn’t stay there, JJ.” He said.  

“I know.  You guys are welcome to stay here as long as you need.” She promised.  She had texted everyone on the team, telling them that Hotch and Reid had had a fight and that Aaron was out there, somewhere, drunk.  “We’re going to find him and then you two have to talk.”

Spencer let JJ hug him and fell into her embrace, unable to stop the tears.  She held him close and did what she could to comfort him.

Rossi and Morgan had gotten together to look for Hotch.  They had searched everywhere, unable to figure out where he’d gone.  He wasn’t at any of the bars, he wasn’t at Quantico, he was nowhere.  Finally, they drove by the house again and saw there were lights on.  They parked and let themselves in.  Aaron was sitting at the kitchen table, looking the worst any of them had ever seen him.

“I hit my son.” He said, staring at a full glass of scotch.  “I came home, my son wanted to play with me, and I HIT him and told him I didn’t like him either.” His voice was monotone.  Morgan poured out the drink and Rossi texted JJ to let her know they’d found Aaron.

“I wanted it, but I wasn’t going to drink it.” He explained to Morgan.  “It’s been sitting in front of me for two hours.”

JJ told Reid that Aaron was at their house and he looked up at JJ.  “I have to go talk to him.  Can Jack stay here while I do?”  She agreed and let Rossi and Morgan know that Reid was on his way home.  The two men stayed until Reid showed up and then they left their friends alone. 

Aaron was staring at the table, he hadn’t moved since Rossi and Morgan had found him.  Reid sat down at the table, across from him.  “Jack is with JJ.” He said and Aaron just nodded.  “Is that it?  That’s all you have to say?” He asked, disgusted.

“I need help.” He finally managed, as tears fell onto the table.  The words jolted Spencer and he looked up at his mate.  “Spencer, I need help.  I know how hard losing Joey was on you, but God...it was hard on me, too!  I lost my son and my mate.  You wouldn’t talk to me, you won’t look at me.  I didn’t mean…” He paused, remembering hearing the same words from his father.  He swallowed down bile.  “At first, the first time, it was just being in the bar.  It was loud, not dead silent like it was here, and the drinks made me not hurt so much.  Then...I just needed more and more.” He was crying hard now, and Spencer was crying, too.  “I can’t stop, I don’t know how to stop.  I just don’t want to hurt anymore.” He admitted.

Spencer remembered screaming at Aaron to get him Dilaudid.  He remembered throwing up and the cramps that had sent agony throughout his body.  He remembered Aaron never once leaving his side.  He suddenly understood that by isolating himself, he’d hurt both of them far worse than he’d realized.  With that, he was on his knees in front of his Alpha, wrapping his arms around him.  

Aaron fell off the chair, onto his own knees and clung to Spencer.  “I don’t want to lose you, too.” He admitted.

“Aaron…” Spencer breathed, not knowing what to say or do.

“Please don’t leave me.” He begged.

“I thought you were leaving me.” He finally admitted and that caused Aaron to look up.  

“What?” He asked.

“I thought that you would leave.  An Omega who loses their baby...who can’t carry a child.  I know that’s one of the reasons that a bond break is granted.  I wanted to protect myself before you did it.” 

Aaron’s hands cupped his chin.  “I would NEVER leave you, especially because we lost our baby.” He said.  “Spencer, this is what I need you to understand...WE lost OUR baby.  YOU didn’t lose our baby, YOU didn’t lose YOUR baby.  We are mates, we’re a team.”

Spencer wrapped his arms around Aaron’s neck and held him close and they both cried.  “I’m so sorry.” Spencer apologized.

“I’m sorry, too.” Aaron said.  “But Spencer, I meant what I said.  I need help.  I can’t stop the drinking by myself.” He was ashamed.  “My father was an alcoholic.  Addiction is in my blood.”

“If you don’t remember, I have an addiction problem, too.” He said.  “You got me through my addiction, now it's my turn to be here for you.”

“How’s Jack?” Aaron asked, his face burning in shame.  

“He cried himself to sleep.  He thinks his Daddy hates him.” Spencer wasn’t going to pull any punches.  He knew that Aaron was sorry, but it would never make up for hitting their son.  “He has a bruise.”

Aaron sobbed at that.  “I can’t believe...how will I ever make this up to him?” He asked.

“I don’t know, Aaron.” Spencer said, honestly.  “I think you’re going to have to figure that one out for yourself.”  He paused and watched his mate sob.  He gently hugged him again and Aaron melted into his embrace.  “Aaron, all those years ago you gave me a choice and now I’m going to give you the same one.  Do you want to go to detox?  Do you want to go to a program and get clean there or do you want to do it here, with me?” He asked.  

Aaron really thought about it.  Part of him wanted to hide away in a program, not having to make Spencer go through it.  He knew, though, if he went it would become public knowledge and it would hurt his career at the BAU and the FBI.  “Will you stay with me?” He asked, his voice broken and soft.

“I will stay with you.” He said.  “I will be here for you, like you were there for me.  But Aaron, this is your only chance.  If you EVER raise a hand or speak like that to our son again, that’s it.  We’re both gone for good.” He said and Aaron nodded.  

“I will NEVER do that again.” He promised.  “I feel sick that it happened.  Spence, all I want is to hold him.  I just keep seeing my own father.”  He began to cry again.  “I keep seeing him...and the thought of Jack ever thinking of me, like I think of him…”

Spencer took pity on him.  “He won’t, but you really hurt him.  Physically and mentally and you will have to make it up to him.”  

“Can I ever make it up to you?” Aaron asked.

“I think…” He paused.  “I think we both hurt each other.  I’m sorry I pushed you away.  I’m sorry I didn’t understand that you were grieving, too.  I’m sorry that I let you slip so hard that you felt like you had to turn to drinking to feel better.” He said.  “Let me take you to bed, you need some rest.  The next 48 hours won’t be easy on either of us.”

“Will you stay...in our bed, I mean.  Will you sleep next to me tonight?” Aaron begged as Spencer helped him off the floor.

“Yes.” He said, quietly.  “But I will be leaving early in the morning.  I have to go talk to Jack before I come back.  And you will be fully detoxed before I let our son back in this home.” He said and Aaron nodded.  

Together, they walked slowly up the stairs.  They changed into sleep clothes and Spencer let JJ know he was staying here tonight but would be back early the next morning.  They laid down and almost like magnets, were drawn together.  They both cried as they held each other and fell asleep, tangled together.

Chapter Text

Chapter Thirty - Rise

When, when the fire's at my feet again

And the vultures all start circling

They're whispering, you're out of time

But still, I rise

This is no mistake, no accident

When you think the final nail is in, think again

Don't be surprised, I will still rise

Rise: Katy Perry

Spencer set his alarm for 6:30, knowing that Jack typically woke between 7:30 and 8:00.  He made sure that there was water and Aspirin for Aaron, kissed his forehead and headed to JJ’s.  He was on his second cup of coffee when he heard his son’s footsteps.  The bruise wasn’t horrible but seeing it on his son’s face made Spencer want to throw up.  Jack didn’t say anything, but went to Spencer and climbed into his lap.

“Good morning, buddy.” Spencer greeted, kissing his forehead.  “We need to have a little talk, okay?” Jack nodded, snuggling into his arms.  “I saw Daddy after you went to sleep last night.”  Jack stiffened and looked up, his face scared.

“Did Daddy hurt you, too?” He asked.

“No, angel.  Daddy didn’t hurt me.” He took a breath, trying to figure out how to explain this to a 4-year-old.  “You know that both me and Alpha Daddy were very sad when baby Joey died?  Daddy tried to fix his sadness, using a medicine, but instead of helping him, it made him worse.  Daddy never should have hurt you or said those things, but it was the medicine that made him do it.  I’m going to go back home and help Daddy get better.  When he’s feeling better, then you can come home, too.  Okay?”

“Is Daddy going to hit me again?”

“Daddy will NEVER hit you again.” Spencer said.  “He is very, very sorry.  And I’m sorry, too.  I didn’t realize that Daddy felt so bad.”

“Am I going to stay here?” He asked.

“Yeah, you’re going to stay with Aunt JJ until Daddy is better and ready for you to come home.”  Jack hugged his Omega dad.

“I love you, Daddy.” He said.  “Help Alpha Daddy feel better cause I miss when we were all happy.”

Spencer hugged and kissed his son, then passed him over to JJ.  “I think that we should have chocolate chip pancakes, what do you say?” JJ asked and Jack nodded.  “And...if you don’t tell your Omega Daddy, I even have some whipped cream in the fridge.” She enticed and finally, the little boy smiled.  

“I’ll see you soon and I’ll call you tonight, before you go to bed.  I love you so, so much.  Be good for Aunt JJ.”

“Wait!” Jack said, rushing over to Spencer.  “Give this to Alpha Daddy?” He asked, wrapping him in a huge hug.  “Tell him I want him to get better soon.”

Spencer was fighting back tears.  “I think that will help him a lot.” He agreed, ruffling his hair and shooting a look at JJ.  He gave her a hug, too, and thanked her for agreeing to watch Jack.  Then he headed home.

He came in and didn’t hear anything, so he headed upstairs.  Aaron was still asleep, which was kind of surprising, except that Spencer realized he had no idea when Aaron had last slept.  Spencer had taken to sleeping in Jack’s room.  Partially to remind himself that Jack was alive and well, and partially to start distancing himself from Aaron, assuming that Aaron was going to leave him.  He changed back into comfortable clothes and decided to climb back into bed.  

Even asleep, Aaron realized he was there and reached for him.  Spencer let himself be drawn in and held by his mate.  He hadn’t realized how much he missed his scent and let himself just scent for a while, before falling back to sleep.  About an hour later he woke, when Aaron stretched and groaned.

“Spencer?” He asked, realizing that his mate was still there.  “You’re here?” He asked.

“How much do you remember about yesterday?” Spencer asked and there was a long pause.  “I’m here.” He finally said, taking pity on him.

“I can’t even begin to tell you how-” Aaron started, but Spencer put a finger to his lips to shush him.

“I know.  I know you are.  Right now, we need to focus on you.  Jack...Jack wanted me to give you this.” He said, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight.  He could feel when Aaron started to cry.  “He said to tell you he wants you to get better soon.”  Spencer whispered, holding on tighter when Aaron cried harder.  “We both love you.  You’re going to get through this, for you and for us.” He said.

“I’ve missed you.” Aaron said.

“I’ve missed you, too.  I’m sorry I pulled away from you, when we needed each other.” He said.  They sat there for a while before they both got up.  “Do you want a shower?” Spencer asked and Aaron nodded.  “I’m going to stay in the bathroom with you.  You’re a little unsteady and I don’t want you to fall and get hurt.”

Aaron tried to push away the feelings of guilt for making his Omega take care of him, and not the other way around.  “Hey.  Stop that.” Spencer said.

Aaron frowned in confusion.  “Stop what?” He asked.

“Thinking what you’re thinking.  I know exactly what it is.  I had those same thoughts when I was detoxing.  You were there for me and I am here for you.”  Aaron realized that he was right.  There probably wouldn’t be a thought he’d have that Spencer hadn’t had when he was going through it.  The thought should have been upsetting, but it was actually comforting.  

The shower felt amazing, though Aaron realized that his hands were starting to shake.  He hated himself for putting himself and his family through this.  Once he was done, Spencer was there with fresh, clean clothes for him.  They went downstairs and Spencer made him a light breakfast.  It was equal parts awful and wonderful.  The two months since they’d lost Joey had been literal hell.  He wasn’t sure if life would ever go back to normal, yet here they were, almost like nothing had happened.

Aaron decided that after breakfast he wanted to watch a movie with Spencer.  The trust wasn’t back to what it had been, but it was better than it was.  They started on opposite ends of the couch, but Spencer eventually moved and laid his head in Aaron’s lap.  Aaron ran his fingers through Spencer’s hair and they both relaxed, comforted by each other.

By the time night came, the symptoms were getting worse.  He still hadn’t stopped shaking, but now he was sweating like crazy even though he felt cold as ice.  He remembered the chills Spencer had suffered and by the look in his eyes, Spencer did, too.  Spencer called Jack to wish him goodnight and even though Aaron had wanted to talk to him, Spencer insisted that the first time he talked to him after the incident needed to be in person.

Aaron managed to fall asleep, but woke up several hours later sick to his stomach.  He pushed himself out of bed and to the bathroom.  He threw up hard, his stomach revolting so much it physically hurt.  It was only when the round of heaving stopped that he realized Spencer was behind him.  He was rubbing his back and had a cool washcloth, wiping the sweat away.  Aaron spent most of the next twelve hours on the bathroom floor.  Spencer brought in pillows and blankets and barely left his side.  Fortunately, Aaron hadn’t been drinking for months or years and the withdrawal could have been much worse.  48 hours after his last drink, 30 hours since Spencer had come home and they had talked, Aaron felt like himself again.

They were sitting in bed, snuggling and talking.  “We’re going to have to find you an AA group.  I...no offense, but I’d rather you didn’t go to the one I go to.” Spencer said.

“None taken, I’d prefer that as well.” Aaron agreed.  They were quiet for a little bit.

“Do you think you’re ready to see Jack?” Spencer finally asked, looking up at his mate.

“I’d like to do something first.” Aaron responded, having been thinking about this since Spencer said he would stay.  Spencer raised an eyebrow, waiting for Aaron to tell him.  “I’d like to make love to you.” 

“Oh.” Spencer said.  “I don’t...I’m not...what if I…” He stuttered.

“We don’t have to.” Aaron backtracked immediately.  Spencer took a moment.

“I want to.” He finally said.  “I panicked, my Omega brain telling me that I wasn’t good enough for you.  It told me that I failed you, but I’m not listening to it anymore.  That’s part of what got us here in the first place.”

“Not good enough for me?” Aaron said, disbelieving.  “Spencer, you are the most amazing person I have ever met.  Your Omega is made for my Alpha.  I love you more than the world.”

Finally, Spencer’s brain seemed to settle down.  Hearing those words finally righted the wrong he’d been feeling since he lost the baby.  Aaron still wanted him and he still wanted Aaron.  What had happened was a tragedy, but it didn’t have to define the rest of their lives.  He didn’t respond with words, simply leaned over and pressed his lips to his Alpha’s.  “I want you to bite the bonding mark again.” He said.

Clothes were ripped off and discarded.  Neither one could seem to touch enough to satisfy themselves or the other.  Lips and teeth mashed and Aaron fumbled for the lube, desperate to be inside his Omega.  They moaned and cried and groped and soon Aaron was inside, setting a brutal pace.  Spencer held on for dear life, but loving every moment.  He’d never felt so connected to his mate.  “I’m close.” Aaron gasped.

“Me too.” Spencer agreed.  “Bite me when you come!  Please! Reseal the bond, I want to feel it!”

“You, too, I want to feel your bite, too!” Aaron said.  It only took another moment and they both came together, biting each other and crying out as their bond burst open.  They clung to each other, panting, neither willing to let go for even a second.  “I love you, Spencer.”

“I love you, Aaron.”

They laid there for a while, just relishing being in each other’s arms.  Eventually, they managed to get up and shower.  Aaron stayed at the house, cleaning up a little while Spencer went to get Jack.  Spencer had told Aaron how he’d explained things to their son and Aaron had been impressed.

Jack was ready to go and hugged JJ tight, then reached up for Spencer to pick him up.  As they drove home, they discussed Aaron.  “Daddy is better now?” Jack asked.

“Daddy is feeling better and he’s not...taking the bad medicine anymore.  He might be sad, still, sometimes, just like you and me are.  But he’s going to be fine.”

“And he won’t never hit me again?” He asked.

“Never.” Spencer promised.  “Are you scared of seeing your Alpha Daddy?” He asked.

“Only a little.” He mumbled.  

“That’s okay.  Alpha Daddy knows that he made a HUGE mistake and that hurting you was a very bad thing to do.  You can be nervous, you can tell Daddy no hugs yet if you want.  I’ll be right here with you, okay angel?”

“I want an Alpha Daddy hug.  I miss them.  He hasn’t given me a hug in a long time.” Jack said, sounding sad.

“That’s okay, too.” He pulled into the garage, then they both got out of the car.  “Do you want me to carry you inside?” He offered and Jack nodded, reaching up for Spencer.

They came inside and found Aaron waiting in the living room.  “Hi Jack.” He said and Jack tensed, slightly.  “Can you come here so we can talk for a minute?”

“I want Omega Daddy to hold me.” Jack said and Spencer nodded, kissing his son’s temple and moving further into the room.

“Your Alpha Daddy made a very, very bad decision a few days ago.  I was taking medicine that made my head very confused.  I am SO sorry that I hurt you, Jack.  I never wanted to hurt you.  I am…” He tried to keep his voice steady and not let his tears escape.  “I am so sorry that I hit you.  I am so sorry that I said such mean things to you.  I LOVE you, Jack.  I love you more than anything in the whole world.  You are the very best thing in my life and I PROMISE you, Jack, that I will NEVER hurt you, ever again.” He said.

“Why did you say you didn’t like me?” Jack’s voice wobbled and Aaron couldn’t help but let his own tears spill.

“I said that because the medicine made me think that.  But the medicine was lying to me.  And now, all the medicine is gone.  We’ve thrown it all out and I will never use that medicine again.  I love you, so much.  You are the greatest boy in the world and Alpha Daddy is so, so sorry.” He said.

Jack pulled away from Spencer and Spencer let him down.  He watched Aaron for a moment, then flung himself into his Dad’s arms.  Aaron held him tight and they both cried.  Spencer was crying, too, watching them.  “I’m so sorry, buddy.  I’m so sorry.”

“Daddy.” Jack cried, clinging to him.  “I love you, Daddy.  I love you.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Thirty One - You Make My Dreams

What I've got's full stock 

Of thoughts and dreams that scatter

Then you pull them all together

And how, I can't explain

Oh yeah, well well you

You make my dreams come true

Reid started a job at Georgetown, deciding not to go back to the BAU, and he found that he really loved it.  Aaron had started his recovery and was now attending AA meetings.  The family had settled back down and things were going really well for them.  Jack started kindergarten and their lives had gotten back on track.  Neither Reid nor Hotch had talked about having any more kids, but they weren’t really doing anything to stop it or to encourage it.

It had been seven months since the incident.  Reid had just finished his heat two weeks prior when he realized that he didn’t feel right.  He was in his office at Georgetown when the smell of coffee made him wrinkle his nose in disgust.  He stopped reading the paper he was grading and thought about it.  Coffee was his life, he had at least 3 cups a day and often even had decaf at night, just because he liked it so much.  

He wondered why this batch of coffee smelled so bad to him and then his stomach gave a roll.  He realized he hadn’t eaten lunch and pulled out a granola bar that he had in his bag.  He ate it, even though he didn’t really want it.  Finally, after not feeling any better, Spencer decided to take the rest of the day.  He put out an email to his two afternoon classes cancelling them and packed up.

“Are you leaving Dr. Reid?” Asked Dr. Lindsey Kendall, one of his fellow professors.  They shared an office space.

“Yeah, I’m not feeling great.  I cancelled my classes and I’ll put up a sign that I’m out for the rest of the day.” He told her.

“I’m sorry to hear that.  It’s weird though, you never get sick.  I’ve known you for almost a year and this is the first time I’ve known you to cancel a class.” She said, standing up and pressing the back of her hand to his forehead.  “You don’t have a fever.”

“Your Omega instincts are in full gear.” He grinned at her.  

“They should be...I’m pregnant!” She told him, grinning right back.  He stopped and turned to look at her.

“Congratulations!” He said, leaning in to hug her.  

“Thanks!  This is baby number 5 and I swear, this is the last one.  Of course, I said that after the last three, so…” They both laughed.  Then suddenly Reid stopped, a look of shock coming over his face.

“Oh my God.  I’m pregnant.” He said, realizing it instantly.

“What?!” She said, her eyebrows shooting up.

“The smell of the coffee, the nausea, and the dizziness...I’m pregnant.  I can’t believe...last time I realized it when my heat ended.” He said, slowly sinking into a chair.

“You don’t always realize it right away.  Especially if you’re not actively trying.  And you weren’t, were you?” She asked and Spencer shook his head no.  She grabbed him a bottle of water and he took a long drink.  “You know, I’ve never been pregnant at the same time as one of my friends before.  I think it’ll be fun.” She said.

Suddenly, Spencer was thrown into a flashback of laying on the table and being told his baby had no heartbeat.  “No.  No!” He cried out and pressed his hands over his eyes.  “I can’t do it again.”

“Spencer, honey, look at me.” Lindsey said.  “Tell me what’s happening.”

“I...I lost my last baby.” He finally managed, after a long time of being stuck in his flashback.  “I can’t do it again.”

“Spencer, who can I call to come get you?  Is your mate around?” She asked.  She knew what Aaron did for a living and that he was often out of town on cases.  Spencer nodded, the team had returned yesterday and they were on stand down today.  He would be at home.  Lindsey took his phone and found his contact.

“Hey Spence!” Aaron greeted, answering the phone.

“Hello, my name is Lindsey Kendall, I’m a co-worker of Spencer’s.” She said.  Instantly, Aaron’s voice changed.

“Where is he? What’s wrong?” He asked.

“He’s not feeling well, can you come pick him up?” She asked.

“Yes, I’ll be there right away.  Is he in his office?” 

“Yes, and I’ll stay here with him.” She promised the ruffled Alpha.

About thirty minutes later, the door opened to reveal a very disheveled Aaron Hotchner.  If Spencer hadn’t been freaking out so badly, he probably would have laughed.  “Spence, little love, what’s wrong?” He asked, kneeling in front of his chair.

“I think I’m pregnant.” He said and Aaron’s face was shocked.  

“What?” Aaron said.

“I can’t lose another baby, Aaron, I can’t!” He cried and Aaron pulled him into his arms.  

“Shh, it’s going to be okay.” He said.  “I love you, everything will be fine.” He soothed.  “You ready to head home?” He asked and Spencer nodded.  Aaron helped him stand and then braced him as a wave of dizziness hit.  

Aaron kept an arm around Spencer’s shoulder, helping him out to the car and then driving to a Walgreens.  “Stay here.” Aaron said and Spencer nodded as Aaron ran inside and bought a couple of pregnancy tests.  He got them home and helped Spencer upstairs.  “Are you doing okay?” Aaron asked.

“I’m scared.” He said.

“Me too.” Aaron agreed.  He handed Spencer a pregnancy test and Spencer headed to the bathroom.  He came back out, set the timer, and settled on the edge of the bed, next to Aaron.  “No matter what, I love you.” Aaron promised.  When the timer went off, they exchanged looks and holding hands, headed into the bathroom.  

“You look.” Spencer said, burying his face in Aaron’s chest.  Aaron rubbed his back and picked up the stick.  

“Pregnant.” He read and he could feel Spencer start to sob.  “It’s going to be okay.”

“What if I lose this baby, too?” Spencer asked.

“Then we’ll get through it, just like everything else, together.  But you aren’t going to lose the baby.” 

“I need to lay down.” Spencer said, his voice quivering.  Aaron helped him back to bed and tucked him in.  

“I need to go pick up Jack from school.  Will you be okay by yourself for a little while?” He asked, running his hands through Spencer’s hair.  Spencer nodded.

“I’m really tired.” He said.  Aaron leaned down to kiss him.

“Sleep.” He encouraged.

Aaron picked up Jack and made a doctor’s appointment for Spencer, to confirm his pregnancy.  He knew it was early, but if a store bought test picked it up, the doctor should, too.  However, the doctor wouldn’t even let him schedule the appointment for another couple of weeks.  He scheduled the appointment for a Friday morning, when Spencer would be six weeks along.

They didn’t say anything to anyone, including Jack.  They didn’t want to get his hopes up again, if something went wrong.  Aaron didn’t know why, but something in his gut told him that nothing was going to go wrong.  Spencer, on the other hand, was one step away from panicked, constantly.  

The day of Spencer’s appointment came and the two old them held hands in the waiting room, both of them trying desperately not to think about the last time they had been here.  Aaron had offered to find Spencer another doctor, but Spencer liked Dr. Seymour and had been seeing her for so long, he was comfortable with her.  Plus she knew both of their histories.

Spencer peed in the cup and had his blood drawn and both men were quiet, holding onto each other as they waited for the results.  It felt like ages, but hadn’t been that long when Dr. Seymour came back in.  “Congratulations.  You are definitely pregnant.” She said.

“What are the chances of me miscarrying again?” Spencer asked.

“Honestly, very low.” Dr. Seymour said.  “The miscarriage had nothing to do with your body, your compatibility or anything that you did.  Your baby’s heart didn’t develop, that’s why you lost him.  You are strong and healthy and you have a good bond.  I’m not saying it couldn’t happen, but the chances are very low.” She said.  “Would you like an ultrasound?”

Spencer swallowed back the tears.  “I don’t know if I can do it.” He admitted.  “What if we find out something is wrong?”

“Better to know now.” Dr. Seymour said and Aaron squeezed his hand.

“I’m right here.”  Aaron whispered.  Spencer consented to the ultrasound and she got it set up.  Spencer refused to even look at the machine until he heard the unmistakable sound of the baby’s heart.  “Spence…” Aaron said, smiling at him.

“Is that?” Spencer started.

“That’s your baby’s heartbeat.” Dr. Seymour smiled at him.  “Do you want to see?” She offered.  Spencer looked up at Aaron, who leaned down and kissed him.  He took a deep breath and turned and looked at the screen.  He couldn’t stop the flood of tears that came and rushed down his face.  

Dr. Seymour let him watch for a few more minutes then turned off the machine.  She had him schedule another appointment for 12 weeks.  She made sure he knew that he could come in before that if he needed to and the signs to watch for.  She got him his prenatal vitamins and made sure to write a prescription for nausea, since it seemed that it was back again, not quite as bad as he’d had with Jack, but pretty bad all the same.

They decide they still won’t tell anyone until Spencer gets through his first trimester.  He’s sick a lot and dizzy, but he doesn’t complain.  Not if the outcome means he gets another baby.  The 12 week appointment comes and goes and Spencer is doing great.  The nausea eases and Spencer remembers why he’d liked the second trimester so much the last time.

They tell Jack first and Jack is excited.  He hopes that he gets a brother and makes sure to tell Spencer at least twice a day to “make sure it's a boy, Daddy.” Spencer assures him that he has no control over the gender of the baby.  They bring in the BAU to tell them in a small get together.  Everyone is excited and happy for them.  Spencer is still nervous, but he loves being pregnant.  He loves seeing his stomach grow and feel the baby.

Lindsey is right, it's a lot of fun to be pregnant at the same time as one of your friends.  The two of them become close and there are even double dates with her and her mate.  Spencer is almost at 18 weeks and he’s feeling more and more nervous by the day.  As his next appointment approaches, he actually gets sick from how nervous he is.  

Aaron went with him, as always.  Spencer frets the whole way there, even though he can feel the baby moving inside him.  Part of him is sure that this will be a repeat of the last time and he will have to say goodbye to another child.

Spencer is sick twice before Dr. Seymour gets the ultrasound set up and ready.  She tries to soothe him but he is simply so scared that it does no good.  It’s only when she turns on the machine and the sound of the heart echoes through the room does Spencer finally relax.  He holds Aaron’s hand tight and cries, hearing the heart and seeing the baby move on the monitor.

“Would you like to know what it is?” Dr. Seymour offers.

“Yes.” Aaron answers for them.  “Though, Jack, Spencer and I are all pretty sure it's another boy.” He said.  They’d talked about it last night.  Spencer and Aaron both thought they were having another boy and Jack was trying to will it to be a boy.

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you.” She says, with a smirk.

Spencer’s head shoots up.  “It’s a girl?” He asks.

“It’s a girl.” She confirms and Spencer bursts into tears.  Aaron leans down to comfort him.  

“Spence, honey, it's okay.” He soothed.

“It’s more than okay.  I wanted a daughter so badly.  I’m so happy.” He said, then he laughed through his sob.  “Jack won’t be.”

Aaron laughed, too.  “He’ll be fine.” He promised.

“Are you disappointed?” Spencer asked.

“Not at all.  I’m just imagining a little girl…” He sounded amazed.  “She’s going to be beautiful.”

“I love you, Aaron Hotchner.”

“I love you, Spencer Reid.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Thirty Two - Rather Be

If you gave me a chance I would take it

It's a shot in the dark but I'll make it

Know with all of your heart, you can't shame me

When I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be

Rather Be: Clean Bandit ft. Jess Glynne

Aaron and Spencer went to a bakery on the way home and got a small cake with pink icing in the middle.  The icing on the top was white and they’d had them write “Girl or Boy” on the top.  This was going to be for Jack, hopefully some cake would make up for them not giving him a brother.  Spencer had said he’d wanted to do some kind of fun gender reveal for their friends.

That night after dinner, Jack had been ready to get up and go watch some TV, but Spencer stopped him.  “Alpha Daddy and I thought you might like some cake.” He said, and Jack’s face lit up.

Aaron brought out the cake and set it in front of Jack.  “Can you read what it says buddy?” He asked.  He was an advanced reader and he nodded, eager to show off his skills.

“Boy or girl?” He read, then realized what it meant.  “Is this about the baby?” He asked and they nodded.

“The inside of the cake will tell us if it's a boy or girl.  If the icing is pink, it's a girl, if it's blue it’s a boy.” Spencer explained.  “I’ll help cut it and you help lift it out and tell us what the baby is going to be, okay?”

Jack was excited, eagerly staring to try to get a glimpse of the frosting.  When he saw it, he held stock still.  “It’s pink.” He said.

“That means it’s a girl, buddy.” Aaron said, trying not to laugh at his son.  Jack’s lip quivered and tears spilled out of his eyes.  “It’s okay, Jack.  You’re going to love having a little sister.” He said.

“I wanted a b-boy.  But now it's a girl and I-I-I…” He took a breath and all but wailed.  “I really love her.” Both Aaron and Spencer exchanged glances and Spencer had set the piece of cake down and hugged his son.

“We love her, too, buddy.  She’s going to be so lucky to have such an amazing big brother like you.” Spencer told him.

“I love you.” He turned and hugged Spencer’s belly, kissing it.  It was the first time he’d done that  and Spencer couldn’t help but cry.  

“She loves you, too.” Aaron said, since Spencer couldn’t seem to form words.

That night, the mates lay in bed content to be close to each other.  “I’m so happy, Aaron.  I’m so happy that Jack is okay with it being a girl.  That I made it to 18 weeks.  But, I’m still scared.  I’m still scared that I could lose her.” 

“I know you are, but we’re going to get through this together.” He said.

As the months continued, they discussed a lot of things.  One of the things was where Spencer wanted to have their baby.  There was a lot of discussion, but Spencer knew he wanted another homebirth.  The biggest question this time was would Jack be there or not.  Spencer still didn’t want other people and if Jack stayed, at least one of their other friends would need to be there.  They both felt that Jack would be able to handle it, especially if they prepared him by watching videos and talking to him about what would happen, but they weren’t certain they wanted to.  It took a lot of long discussions, including one with Liz, before they finally decided that they would have someone watch Jack and do it alone - just the two of them and Liz.  

One night, after they had made love, they lay there holding each other.  “We do have to decide on a name.” Aaron said.  “We haven’t even discussed it and you’re seven months pregnant.”

Spencer ran his hand over the swell of his belly.  “You know why.” He said.  Aaron did know why, Spencer was afraid that if they named the baby and he lost it, he wouldn’t be able to cope.

“I know, but Spencer, even if you have the baby now...the chances of her surviving are huge.” Aaron said and Spencer sighed.  He knew Aaron was right.  The other reason that he’d put it off was that he had a name in mind.  Okay, he had committed to a name and had been calling her that name in his head for months.

He’d actually read the name in a creative writing paper from one of his students.  The name meant happiness, luck, and fortune.  He knew that their daughter was all that and more.  He was afraid to tell Aaron, in case Aaron hated it.  “I have an idea.” He finally managed, his voice barely above a whisper.  

“Okay, what is it?” He asked.

“Felicity.” He said and Aaron’s breath caught.

“What does it mean?” He asked.

“It means happiness, luck and fortune.” Spencer said.

“I love it.” Aaron told him and Spencer looked up.  “I LOVE it.  It’s absolutely perfect.”

“Felicity Hotchner.” Spencer said, and smiled.  “You really like it?”

“I LOVE it.” He repeated, kissing his mate.  

Morgan took over their house one day, kicking all of them except Jack out.  He was there for hours, finally calling and letting them come home.  He brought them up to one of the guest rooms and Aaron and Spencer were shocked when they opened the door, followed by a giggling Jack.  “Me and Uncle Derek made the baby her own room!” He exclaimed.

The room was a light purple, yellow, pink and turquoise.  There was brand new furniture, including a huge rocking chair that looked unbelievably comfortable.  Everything in the room was coordinated.  “The girls did the furniture and clothes organization.” He said.  “Me and Jack painted and put together everything.  This guy is a great helper!”

“It’s amazing!” Spencer said, throwing his arms around Derek.  “Thank you.” He had redone Jack’s room twice and Spencer could never get over the fact that Derek would just give up a day to help Spencer, Aaron and their kids.  

He ended up working almost up to his due date, since teaching classes was much less physically demanding than working in the field in the BAU.  Lindsey had her baby about a month before Spencer was due and he spent time after with her and her brand new little girl.  She was a redhead (the only one in the family) and they’d named her Poppy.  Her name suited her perfectly.

Chapter Text

Chapter Thirty Three - The Riddle

Here’s a riddle for you

Find the answer

There’s a reason for the world

You and I

The Riddle: Five for Fighting

Spencer was a week overdue and miserable.  He’d been snapping at Aaron so much that Aaron finally just left him alone and went downstairs to play with Jack.  The two of them were playing with Lego’s and Aaron was trying not to worry about Spencer.  They had been through this before and they were more than ready.  

About two hours later, Spencer waddled downstairs, his hand on his back, where it had pretty much lived for the last month.  He was huge, though Aaron would never say that, and he looked amazing to Aaron.  “I might be having contractions.” He said.

“Might be?” Aaron asked sharply.

“I’m not sure.  It’s not consistent and it doesn’t really hurt.  More like bad gas.” He said and that sent Jack into a fit of giggles.

“Omega Daddy’s got the toots.” He said, laughing and that actually made everyone else start to laugh.

Spencer walked slowly around the house, rubbing his back, while Aaron watched him from his place on the floor with Jack.  He would stop occasionally, moving a hand to his belly and massaging it.  “Aaron?”  He called, after about two hours.  Aaron was there in a second.  “I’m pretty sure this is it.  Will you call JJ and have her come get Jack?” He asked.

Two hours later Spencer is in a lot of pain and refusing to let go of Aaron’s hand.  Aaron holds him each time a pain comes and Spencer moans, clutching his mate tightly.  Aaron has called Liz and asked her to come and she appears soon after.  She offers to let Spencer get in the tub again, but he shakes his head no.

To both Spencer and Aaron it felt like this labor was moving too quickly.  His labor with Jack had been slow and this labor seemed to rush them through.  Spencer was scared but Aaron never left his side.  He remembered how wonderful Aaron had been during Jack’s birth, and how much he would have supported him during Joey’s, if Spencer would have let him.  This time he just let his instincts have control and trusted Aaron to keep them safe, and he wasn’t disappointed.  He’d wanted to be in their bedroom to deliver, but he’d been laboring downstairs and the pain was so intense, he couldn’t even stand on his own.

“Aaron, I want to be in our room.” Spencer pleaded, half out of his mind with the pain.  Aaron didn’t even hesitate, he scooped him up and carried him to their bedroom.  “The nest…” He pleaded and Aaron brought him inside the nest.  It was dark and calm and smelled like them and Spencer relaxed instantly.

Liz couldn’t get in,, as it wasn’t meant for anyone other than the two of them.  For now, she settled on sitting right outside and offering support as necessary.  Aaron lit the lights and even with them on, it was still pretty dark.  It was how they liked it and it eased a lot of their fears.  “It’s just going to be us.” Spencer said, after a little while.

“What?” Aaron asked, confused.

“Baby is coming and Liz can’t get in here.  You’re going to have to do it.” Spencer told him, gasping and back arching as another contraction slammed through him.  “I’m already pushing, I can’t help it.”

“But!” Aaron started to protest and Spencer looked up at him, his eyes only reflecting love and trust.

“You can do it, Aaron.  I trust you.” He said, then was lost to another push.  

“You’ll be just fine, Aaron.” Liz said from outside the nest.  “Spencer knows what to do, all you have to do is catch.  Can you look and see if you can see the head?” She asked.

“It’s crowning!” Spencer confirmed as his body continued without any input from him.  

“I see it!” Aaron said.  Liz handed him a towel and Spencer pulled off his shirt, wanting the skin to skin contact as soon as she was born.  

“Just keep your hand there.  Spencer doesn’t need any help.” Liz told him.  Another humongous push and the head popped out, causing Spencer to scream.

“You got her head out!” Aaron said, completely in awe of what was happening, of what his mate was doing.  “One more push!” He encouraged.  Spencer didn’t need the encouragement, his body took over and heaved and just like that, their daughter was in his arms.  Her arms waved and she let out a little cough, then started to cry.  “She’s here!” Aaron said, staring enraptured at the tiny being in his hands.  “She’s gorgeous!”

“I need her…” Spencer whispered, reaching for his baby.  Being careful of the cord, he handed her up to Spencer and then draped a towel over her.  “Oh, Aaron…” He said, looking at her.  “Hello sweet girl.  Hello, my little Felicity.” 

She calmed almost instantly, and her eyes opened.  “Spencer.” Aaron whispered.

“You were in no rush at all, then all of a sudden you can’t wait another second.” Spencer laughed.  “My sweet little Felicity.” He said, again, nuzzling her.

“I had an idea for her middle name.” Aaron said, clearing his throat from emotion.  Spencer looked up at him.  “I thought...Felicity Diana.” He said and Spencer’s eyes filled with tears.  

“Felicity Diana Hotcher.” Spencer said, testing the name out.  “Yes, I think it suits you perfectly.”

“Marry me!” Aaron said, suddenly.

“What?!” Spencer asked, looking up.

“Our children have the last name Hotchner but you are still Reid.  Marry me.  I love you.  I’ll never stop loving you, no matter what happens.  We’re mates and parents and now, I want to be your husband.”

Spencer let out a huge smile.  “I want a better proposal.” He said, reaching for Aaron to pull him close.  “But yes, yes I’ll marry you!” He grinned, kissing him soundly.

They had to actually disassemble the walls of the nest to get Spencer and Felicity out.  They got Spencer into bed and he fed his little girl.  He was in absolute awe of her.  Her hair was a little lighter than Jack’s and she had those same Hotchner dimples.  Her eyes were dark right now, but Spencer just knew they were going to be bright blue.  

Spencer fell asleep quickly once Felicity had been handed to Liz for a check and he slept for a few hours, waking when the baby started crying for her next meal.  Aaron cleaned up his mate and Liz cleaned up the room and when Felicity woke back up, Aaron called JJ to have her bring Jack home.  He promised that she could come in and meet the baby, too.  Spencer was excited to show her off.

He heard the door open and close and he smiled at Spencer, who was holding the sleeping baby.  There were footsteps on the stairs and their door opened.  “Daddy’s?” Jack asked, his voice quiet.

“Come here and meet your sister.” Spencer said, smiling widely at his son.  Aaron picked him up and set him gently next to Spencer, who moved the baby so Jack could see her.

“She’s so pretty.” Jack said.  “What’s her name?”

“Felicity Diana.” Spencer told him.  “Would you like to hold your sister?” He asked and Jack suddenly looked nervous.  “It’s okay, Daddy and I will help you.” He said and they gently moved Felicity into Jack’s arms.  She opened her eyes and blinked, before closing them again and letting out a little sigh.  

“Hi Lissie.  I’m your big brother, Jack.  I’m going to take really good care of you.  I love you.” He said, leaning down to kiss her forehead.  Aaron and Spencer shared a fond look and then heard a noise and realized that JJ was crying.

“JJ, what’s wrong?” Spencer asked, beckoning her over to see the baby.

“She’s perfect.” JJ said.  “I just hope her cousin is as beautiful.” She said, placing a hand on her flat belly.  Spencer’s jaw dropped.

“JJ?!” He asked, excitedly.

“Will finally decided that he was done waiting.  He came up and we mated.  And now…” She grinned.  “Jack and Felicity will have a little cousin, in about eight months.” She said.

“I’m so happy for you.” He told her.  Aaron had placed Felicity back in Spencer’s arms and Spencer held her out to JJ.  “Give your niece a hello.” He told her.

“Oh, you are just absolutely stunning.” She said.  “You two make seriously beautiful babies.” They both laughed and thanked her.  “Hello, little Felicity.” She cooed and the baby yawned.  “So…” She glanced at Spencer.  “Honestly, how bad is labor?” She asked and everyone except for Jack and Felicity burst into laughter.