Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Percy didn’t mean to start a revolution against the gods. It just, sort of … happened.

He supposed it all started one summer, a couple of years after the Giant War (as it had been dubbed by the year-round occupants of Camp Half-Blood) when he had noticed a new camper hesitating by the fire. This wasn’t an unusual sight, and he was just wondering whether or not one of the camp counsellors would help him out, when--

Oh.

He was a camp counsellor now, so he should probably be doing his job. Right. Picking up his barely picked at food, Percy made his way over to the fire and tried to look as non-threatening as possible -- something that had become a lot harder since his little detour through Tartarus.

“Hi,” Percy looked over at the other demigod, “I’m Percy Jackson. You alright over here?”

"Oh, I’m, uh, James. James Silver. I … I don't get what I’m meant to do. I just throw my food into the fire and ... talk?" James, a son of Hermes, asked -- Percy could recognise those blue eyes and elfish facial features anywhere.

Percy grinned, "Yeah, that's pretty much it."

James hesitated before looking down at his feet, "But ... Hermes has a lot of children more powerful and more popular than me. What would I even ask him for? It's not like he cares."

Maybe it was because of the way James resembled Percy's little sister, Estelle, at that moment as he looked down in shame, or maybe it was because Percy was reminded of that promise he wrangled from the gods at age sixteen, but one moment he was looking at the younger camper, and the next he was throwing some of his food into the fire and asking Poseidon for two Disneyland tickets (so he could take Annabeth on a date there) very, very loudly.

But even though he wasn't quite sure how it happened, the small, shocked laugh that James let out made it worth it.

------------------------------

Still smiling happily at the thought of being a good influence on the younger kids, Percy made his way back to Cabin 3 where he was greeted by the sight of a small envelope lying innocently on his bed with his name written on it in an easily recognisable scrawl.

“...Dad?” he called out, hesitantly, not really expecting a reply. He made his way over to his bed and picked it up, dimly recognising the scent of the ocean that his dad managed to infuse into everything he touched. Slowly, he opened it up and watched as two Disneyland tickets fell out of the envelope and onto his bed.

Wait.

Disneyland tickets? Why would his dad give him--

Huh. He did ask for some, but he did so in an effort to make James realise that there really weren’t any stupid requests, not out of any particular need for them. 

Cautiously, as if expecting another few tickets to fall out, Percy opened the letter and read it once. Then read it again. Then another time just to make sure that he wasn’t reading it wrong. But, no. There in his hands, written in blue ink (of course) read:

Perseus,

As much as I approve of you annoying my relatives, I do hope you have nothing to do with the fact that one of Hermes’ 10-year-old sons just requested a motorcycle. While I, as your father, have a brilliant sense of humour and am just generally awesome, others may not appreciate this in the same way.

Your father.

...Ok, so maybe he wasn’t as much of a good influence as he thought he was. On the bright side, no god had struck him down yet and he was still very much alive and unharmed. So maybe Hermes saw the humour in it too? That was kind of his thing, playing pranks and practical jokes -- or it was his children’s thing, at least. 

He also couldn’t deny that the thought of little James Silver requesting a motorcycle of all things was more than a little bit funny. He wondered for a moment if Hermes would grant his request or not, then immediately decided that no self-respecting parent would ever give their 10-year-old a motorcycle and, say what you will about Hermes, he did genuinely care for his children ever since … well, ever since Luke.

Maybe it would make the gods more involved in the lives of their kids. They would have to acknowledge some of the more outrageous requests, wouldn’t they? 

Well, there was only one way to find out.

Being a good influence was overrated, anyways.

------------------------------

“You want me to do what ?”

“Oh, come on, Wise Girl! For the good of the new campers, we have to … to encourage them to not put their godly parents on a … on a pedestal so they feel comfortable with requesting stuff! And how better than seeing the Architect of Olympus doing it!”

Annabeth sighed and started to rub at her temples, she could feel a migraine incoming, “So why don’t I just request something smaller than a mansion ?”

“Well… you could, but we need the campers to feel comfortable with asking for things they may think are too big. I mean, what’s bigger than a mansion ?”

Annabeth smiled softly, “I can … admit that maybe I would’ve started making bigger requests of Athena if I had watched some of the older campers do it as well.”

“So….”

“So, yes, Seaweed Brain. But I refuse to ask for a mansion. We should also try to get some of the other older campers involved, maybe. I’m sure Clarisse would jump at any chance to antagonise the gods, and Travis and Connor definitely would. And don’t pull that face, just because she tried to push your head down a toilet on your first day at camp, doesn’t mean Clarisse is a bad person.”

Percy smirked, “Yeah, I got her back though, didn’t I? Bet she wasn’t expecting that, huh?”

Annabeth laughed, “And then you broke her favourite spear before being claimed by Poseidon, of all gods. And you wonder why she didn’t like you.”

He gasped in mock-offence and held a hand to cover his heart, or where he thought his heart was, “You wound me. Truly.”

“Oh, shut up, Seaweed Brain.”

“Nah. You love me really.”

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“ HELLO, MUM, YES HI, HOW ARE YOU? TODAY I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU FOR THE PROTECTION OF EVERY SINGLE BLADE OF GRASS IN AMERICA. WHY? BECAUSE I FEEL BAD FOR THEM. THEY ARE SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS AND YET THEY MUST SIT IN SILENCE THEIR WHOLE LIFE. ANYWAY, THANK YOU, HOPE YOU ENJOY THE OFFERING AND GRANT MY REQUEST.”

Zeus was mad, Poseidon noticed with not a small bit of glee. Actually, that was not entirely correct. Zeus wasn’t mad, he was absolutely pissed. This was the fifth time this week that a council meeting had been interrupted by a request from a demigod, requests which had been getting more and more outlandish each time.

Luckily for Percy (because, despite what Poseidon wrote in the letter, he just knew that Percy was behind all this), Zeus had yet to connect him to anything. He suspected, sure, but he couldn’t prove anything. Not that Poseidon would let him do anything to his favourite son, but it was always funny to see his brother so worked up over a mere demigod.

“POSEIDON,” the god in question bellowed, “Tell your son to stop annoying me or I will smite him with my lightning bolt.”

“Now, brother,” he replied, “I do believe that the request was made by a Ms Katie Gardner. Not my son. Whyever would you think that?”

Athena snorted from her throne and glared at Poseidon, “Perhaps, Poseidon, you would know why my daughter asked me for the happiness and wellbeing of every baby sea turtle in the Atlantic Ocean?”

Poseidon hummed noncommittedly, “Oh, she did? That was nice of her.”

“That was nice-- Poseidon! It is your son who is filling my daughter’s head with these … these senseless thoughts of rebellion!”

Aphrodite sighed, “My dear,” Athena’s left eye twitched at being addressed as such by the goddess of love, much to Poseidon’s fascination. “Maybe it is to be expected. After all, love can make people do foolish things,” Aphrodite sighed again, winking at Ares on the throne next to her and resolutely ignoring Hephaestus’ scowl.

Deciding to interfere before any thoughts of golden nets appeared, Hermes spoke up on the subject, “I, for one, think this is hilarious. Why, just the other day one of my children asked if I could get them a sugar daddy! I am man enough to admit that I did not know what that was, nor how to go about acquiring one, but rest assured I am making good progress on it.”

The heavy silence that followed the proud exclamation was broken by Aphrodite’s laughter. The Olympians turned to the goddess who was practically falling out of her chair in laughter and made the collective decision to pretend it wasn’t happening -- as was the tradition on something they didn’t understand.

Finally, Hades spoke up, startling some of the other gods as they had still to get used to his place on the council, “I believe it would be best if we were to--”

“ HI, FATHER. UM, I AM REQUESTING A -- GODS, PERCY, I’M NOT SAYING THAT … NO, I DON’T HAVE TO … YES, I CARE ABOUT THE YOUNGER CAMPERS … THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH-- FINE. FATHER, I AM REQUESTING AN … AN ARMY OF DISCO SKELETONS THAT CAN PLAY JAZZ SO THEY CAN BE THE ENTERTAINMENT AT THE END OF SUMMER PARTY. THANKS … ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, PERC--”

“...POSEIDON.”

------------------------------

Perseus,

It may or may not have come to my attention that Athena, in particular, does not seem to be fond of any ocean, or ocean creature, based requests. Do with this what you will.

Definitely not your father. Though if I were, I would be telling you about how proud I am of you for annoying both of my brothers. Do try not to get killed, though.

Chapter Text

“Hi again, mother. I am once again requesting for the safety of every single baby seal in existence. I mean, just look at how cute they are with their big eyes and I would definitely die for all of them and I just want them to be happy. Also, a new hairbrush wouldn’t go amiss. Thank you.”

Percy was thrilled. He was also extremely terrified of being killed by a particularly angry god (or goddess), but those two emotions generally tended to go together so he was more or less used to it by now.

What he wasn’t used to, was the younger campers actually talking to him. He had gotten used to the awestruck looks from afar at The Percy Jackson™ but apparently starting a revolution against the gods (however accidentally) makes a person more approachable. Or something. 

Not that he would stop, though. It was good that the newer demigods were feeling comfortable enough to request stuff from their godly parents, and it was spicing the council meetings up a bit if the letters from definitely not his father were to be believed.

Besides, it was funny. Ok, it was more than funny, it was hilarious watching twelve-year-olds ask actual gods for the newest Pokémon cards. Not to mention he had yet to be struck down by the gods, which is always a bonus in his books.

Anyway, it could be worse. The gods could actually be granting their requests. In fact, to his knowledge at least, out of all the outrageous requests, only his Disneyland tickets were given. Something he couldn’t help but feel a little smug about; Poseidon really was the coolest god. Speaking of which, he should probably ask Annabeth if she wants to go to Disney sooner rather than later.

Coming to that conclusion, Percy made his way over to the beach to swim in the sea for a while and maybe find some crabs to talk to; they were extremely good at poker for some reason. Yes, he can admit that it may have hurt his pride to lose a card game against crabs. But poker always did bring up bad memories of Smelly Gabe, so maybe it was for the best.

Just as he was taking his shoes off, getting ready to get into the sea, Annabeth came running up to him with a look of panic on her face.

“Percy-- Percy you have to come quickly up to the Big House.”

Percy felt his heart drop, “What’s wrong? Is it another prophecy?”

Annabeth shook her head frantically, “No, there’s an army of disco skeletons that are currently playing jazz music. ”

“Jazz music-- isn’t that what Nico…” Percy felt the colour leave his face as Annabeth nodded and he could hear Hades laughing at him from the Underworld.

Fuck. 

------------------------------

“...from the North-East, but on Friday the winds will--”

“ RIGHT HELLO, DAD -- FATHER, WHATEVER. UM, I AM REQUESTING SOMETHING THAT CAN STOP AN ARMY OF DISCO SKELETONS FROM PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC … YES, NICO I KNOW THIS IS MY FAULT … YES, I STILL THINK IT’S FUNNY. Y’KNOW, YOU COULD JUST … OK DAD, SO NICO IS REFUSING TO HELP SO I REALLY NEED YOU TO COME THROUGH. GREAT, I HOPE YOU ACCEPT MY OFFERING AND GRANT MY  REQUEST … ANNABETH, NO! YOU CAN’T STAB A SKELETON THEY DON’T HAVE A HEA--”

“...Hades,” Zeus said in a dangerously calm voice.

“Zeus,” Hades replied, just as calm.

Poseidon looked between the two of them and decided to take matters into his own hands, “Poseidon.”

“...What?”

Poseidon shrugged, “Neither of you was going to say it and I wanted to be involved.”

“...Right, ok. Er, Hades. Tell me you did not grant your son’s request for an … an army of disco skeletons that can play jazz .”

“I did not grant my son’s request for an army of disco skeletons that can play jazz.”

Zeus sighed and ran a hand slowly down his face, “Are you lying?”

“Yes.”

Zeus sighed again, he seemed to be doing that a lot lately, and leaned on the arm of his throne, “Would you care to inform the rest of the council why you did so?”

“Not particularly.” 

Hades was loving this. He could overlook the fact that it originated from the sea spawn (and, oh yes. He knew that Poseidon was lying, this had that Percy Jackson’s name written all over it) just because it was the most entertaining thing he’d had the pleasure of viewing in a long time. Not to mention the funny shades of purple his youngest brother’s face could turn were quite interesting.

Oh, look. There was a new colour. How fascinating.

“Who here has granted their children’s requests over the past week,” Zeus growled, glaring at the rest of the council. 

For a moment, he appeared to calm down as only Hades’ hand was raised. Then, quite proudly, 

Poseidon raised his hand as well, followed by a hesitant Hermes and a thrilled Aphrodite. The remaining Olympians all looked on in concern as Zeus stopped being calm again and spoke out one word through gritted teeth, “Explain.”

Seemingly pleased with that reaction, Poseidon lowered his hand and said, “My son, Percy Jackson -- you all remember him, right? The Saviour of Olympus? Defeater of Kronos? One of the Seven? Well, my son asked me for some Disneyland tickets so he could go on a date there with that Annabeth girl.”

Athena grumbled quietly to herself about she still didn’t think that sea spawn was good enough for her daughter, but no one heard her. Or, they did, but no one wanted to hear another remix of the same argument she and Poseidon had every time the two demigods were brought up.

Zeus had his hands clenched into fists and nodded at Hermes to get him to talk, “Well … well, my daughter asked me for something called a hoverboard and I thought, what’s that?, and apparently it’s a form of transportation where you stand on the board and just lean where you want to go and you go! And so I thought to myself, that’s not really an outrageous request, is it? And then I answered myself, no. No, it isn’t. So, I got her one. And it wasn’t easy at all. I tried about twent--”

“That’s enough, Hermes,” Aphrodite interrupted, “My turn to explain now! One of my favourite sons requested it of me, and how could I refuse? He asked for a--”

------------------------------

“What did you ask for?”

The guilty son of Aphrodite shifted his feet and looked up at Percy, “I didn’t think she’d actually give it to me.”

“So you asked for a 5-star spa for the middle of the forest ?” Percy looked at the spa that now occupied a good bit of their Capture The Flag territory and groaned, directing his next question towards Chiron who was standing behind him, “Would it be considered rude to ask her to take it back?”

“Oh, absolutely. Lady Aphrodite might take it as a personal slight against her and curse you, or she might think you sent it back because it wasn’t grand enough and send a bigger one,” Chiron answered, studying the scene before him, “So, I do believe that we are now stuck with this. I wonder if they have a specialised centaur area…”

“Right. Ok. This is fine. I’m fine. This is fine.”

“...You alright there, Percy?”

“Absolutely.”

Spoiler Alert: he was not absolutely alright. Also, those stupid skeletons would only be distracted by the strawberries for a little while and then he’d have to find another way to entertain them because Nico still did not want to get involved.

In hindsight, Percy realised that annoying the gods that could easily make his life hell was not one of his brightest ideas. But, in his defence, it wasn’t really his idea in the first place. His heart was in the right place! Or something like that. His teachers used to say that about him a lot; it was a polite way to say ‘your son is a menace, but I don’t want to say that to your face in case you get mad.’

Maybe he should see if Annabeth had any ideas on what to do. After all, Athena always, always has a plan.

------------------------------

“...Absolutely not.”

“But...but Wise Girl!”

“ I am not helping you commit treason against the gods! ”

“It’s not technically treason, per se…”

Annabeth pinched the bridge of her nose and grabbed Percy’s arm before pulling him in the direction of his cabin while ignoring the wolf whistles and calls of “keep the door open five inches, you two! ”, “We are not having this conversation out here.”

She pushed him through the open door and slammed it behind her, before stopping behind Percy and he threw his hands in the air in exasperation.

“Not again!” Percy whined, glaring at the envelope lying on his messy bed, “Which god did I piss off this time?”

“This time?” asked Annabeth, staring at the envelope as well, “How many gods have you pissed off already?”

Percy waved his hand in an attempt to convey that he had pissed off every single god at least once in his life. But Annabeth understood the vague gesture because she was there with him when he annoyed most of them and was probably the only reason he didn’t annoy them to the point of murder.

He picked up the letter and read through it a couple of times, then dramatically collapsed onto his bed and held it out to Annabeth who looked over it, blinked, glanced over at Percy, blinked again, then turned back to the letter in her hands.

Perseus,

Just a heads up, you may be called up to Olympus soon as some gods (namely Athena and Zeus) are accusing you of rebelling against the gods. I would highly recommend you ask your girlfriend to put together some defence on your behalf because they are not pleased.

Hermes still thinks you’re hilarious though, so you have one ally there. So does Aphrodite for some reason.

Your father Not your father.

“Huh,” Annabeth said, “You really messed up this time, didn’t you?”

A timid knock at the door broke them out of their despair as a shy head peaked into the cabin, “Um, Clarisse told me to remind you that boys and girls aren’t allowed to be alone in a cabin together…”

Chapter Text

Look. 

Percy was man enough to admit that maybe he messed up a bit.

He was also man enough to admit that this revelation could have come at a better time than when he was standing in front of all-powerful, omnipotent beings that could literally get away with murdering him if he annoyed them too much.

And considering he had already annoyed them to the point of him being invited up to Olympus for a full on trial, his odds were not looking too good. So thank the gods (or … not the gods considering they got him into this mess in the first place) that his beautiful and brilliant and kind and smart girlfriend -- who was wearing an honest-to-god suit -- was ready to defend him, even if it came at the cost of opposing her mother. And it did come at the cost of opposing her mother because apparently saving Olympus twice and defeating almost every single monster ever, wasn’t enough for Athena.

She’d probably only accept him as Annabeth’s boyfriend if he got 1650 on the SAT (and yes , he knows that isn’t possible), or something academic like that; which basically meant there was no way she would ever accept him as Annabeth’s boyfriend.

At that moment, as if she could hear his train of thoughts -- which, by the way, is a huge invasion of privacy, Athena, if you’re listening -- Athena turned to him and interrupted her daughter by saying, “Are you just going to sit there and let my daughter defend you, or are you actually going to stand up for yourself, sea spawn?”

Percy shrugged from his place sitting cross-legged on the floor by Poseidon’s throne and spoke, “Honestly, I’m fine with letting Annabeth defend me, she’s doing a great job at it. Love you!” He directed that last bit at his girlfriend (not Athena), held up his two thumbs and grinned broadly.

“Thanks, babe,” Annabeth mouthed back, before clearing her throat and shuffling the papers in front of her to regain the attention of the council, “As I was saying, this is Percy we’re talking about. He has yet to ask me out to Disney despite getting the tickets gifted to him almost a week ago. Do you really think he could organise a rebellion against the gods?”

Damn, Percy thought, I knew I forgot to do something. And also--

“Hey!” he complained, “I could definitely stage a rebellion if I wanted to.”

Immediately sensing he had done something wrong with the way everyone present turned to look at him and the fact Annabeth shook her head at him and mouthed ‘ Not helping Percy ’, he quickly added, “Not that I want to. Staging a rebellion is the last thing on my to-do list.” He yelped at the look that came across Zeus’ face and continued hurriedly, “It’s not even on my to-do list! I don’t even have a to-do list! Ask Annabeth.”

The demigod in question nodded, “It’s true. He is the least organised person I have ever met. If he were to rebel against you guys -- which he wouldn’t, don’t look at me like that, mother -- it would fall apart within a week. At most .”

Percy frowned, not knowing whether to be offended or not. With a shrug of his shoulders, he decided on the latter and settled with looking around at the gods and attempting to discern their thoughts.

It seemed that it was the usual amount of gods against him, the gods that had decided to hate him based on their own preconceived misconceptions about him. Something he couldn’t help but feel a little bit mad about, he saved their asses at least twice and this is the thanks he gets? 

Some of his thoughts must have shown on his face because James Silver (the son of Hermes had given his account of what happened that day, shying away from his father’s eyes when he admitted he was too scared to request something) nudged him from where he was sitting next to him and gave him a questioning look, to which Percy shook his head at, “I’m fine,” he whispered, “It’s nothing.”

Once again, Athena pounced on his distraction like an owl (and yeah, ok, he knows the saying is meant to be like a hawk, but Athena’s sacred animal is an owl so it's funny! Right?) and questioned why he wasn’t paying attention at his own trial.

“...With all due respect, Athena, I’m thinking about what I’ve done to make half of this council hate me. And, I’ll be honest with you here, I’m coming up blank.”

Poseidon chose this point to finally make his voice heard, “My son has got a point, Athena. He has saved us many times over his lifetime, we are indebted to him and everyone here knows it.”

Ares sniffed pompously, “Be indebted to the brat? I would rather fall on my own sword.”

“That could be arranged,” Percy’s eyes flashed dangerously as he continued, “You looking for a rematch, Ares?”

“Why you little--”

“Ares, sit down . And Perseus, stop antagonising gods that wish to see you dead by their own hands,” Artemis snapped, wanting this meeting to be over 10 minutes ago so she could get back to her Huntresses, they were in the middle of hunting the Nemean Lion who had respawned over the Giant War. There was no convenient space food nearby this time nor, as much as she hated to admit it, any convenient sons of Poseidon who conveniently knew how to wield the convenient space food.

Percy raised his hands in surrender and sighed, “Okay, I’m sorry, I guess. I’m just not entirely sure what the problem is. I raised a few kids’ -- your kids’ -- self esteems and you guys are accusing me of rebelling against you? I just don’t get it.”

Annabeth looked shocked for a moment before getting over it just as quickly, “He’s right. Oh, don’t look at me like that, Seaweed Brain, it happens occasionally. Percy has done nothing to make you guys assume that he is going against the gods.”

“I- We... That is to say…” Zeus spluttered, much to the delight of his brothers, “That is not the point!”

“Actually, brother,” Poseidon said, cheerfully, “I think it rather is the point of all this. What has my son done to rebel against us?”

Zeus mumbled something incoherently.

“What was that?” Poseidon asked, his smug smile clearly showing he heard exactly what Zeus said.

“...Nothing. Your brat--”

“ --I’m right here-- ”

“--has done nothing to rebel against us. But it’s the potential--”

This time Aphrodite interrupted, “Well. Technically, we all have the potential to rebel against us. Just like we all have the potential to have nice hands. If you’d just pushed back your cuticles, Ares-- ”

“We’re getting off-topic again,” Poseidon frowned, “But, uh, I have nice hands, Aphrodite, if you wanted too--” Percy coughed, “--erm, right. Nevermind. Maybe later. The point is , Percy’s done nothing wrong.”

Zeus grumbled for while under his breath before finally looking up and saying, “All in favour of prosecution?”

Percy noted with not a small amount of delight, that only Athena, Hera, Zeus and Ares raised their hands. Zeus noticed this as well, except with a much smaller amount of delight as he sighed and continued, “...All in favour of being cleared of all charges?”

The overwhelming majority raised their hands, causing Percy to whoop in delight, he was a free man!

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After the demigods had returned back to Camp Half-Blood to share the brilliant news with the rest of the campers, Zeus straightened on his throne at the centre of the Olympian council self-importantly and cleared his throat before smugly speaking, “I would like to point out how my children were not naive enough to--”

“ HEY DAD, JUST STARTING THIS OFF BY LETTING YOU KNOW THAT PERCY DID NOT TELL ME TO DO THIS, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST THE NEW ‘GREEN DAY’ MERCH. PLEASE. THANKS AND I HOPE YOU ACCEPT THIS OFFERING … OR DON’T. WHATEVER. OH! JASON SAYS H-”

“...JACKSON!”