Chapter Text
“Utterly . . unbelievable!! DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE!?”
Ichigo stared up at the ceiling as the gym teacher looked like he was a heartbeat from having a coronary after he’d assembled him, Chad, Keigo, Mizuiro, Tatsuki, Orihime, and Rukia in the teacher’s lounge with the principal and their homeroom teacher.
He hadn’t failed to notice that Ishida wasn’t there. The little rat bastard probably threw him under the bus at the first hint of questioning because he’d been caught on camera too, and yet he wasn’t getting lectured.
“Look at this!!”
He glanced back down for a moment to see that projected on the wall was a clip of Spontaneous Trips from the night before, before looking away again, “This was broadcast live – nationally – on a TV show shot in our town!! Nationally!!!”
Mr. Kagine got right into his face, looming over him to where it was impossible to not look at him, “Well?! What do you have to say for yourself, Kurosaki!!”
He looked to the side, meeting where Tatsuki was giving him the look that said she was going to throw him under the bus at the first opportunity and he made a face back at her, because traitor, “He . . looks a lot like . . me.”
“IT IS YOU, YOU MORON!! BEYOND A DOUBT!!!”
Ichigo turned and dead-eyed stared him down, “It’s my long-lost twin brother, Kon. He just got into town.”
He could actually see the vein pulse at his temple, not even faltering at that – which was technically true in a sense, with Kon officially adopted in, “You have a real contempt for teachers, don’t you?” – before he was jabbing his hand blindly back at the projected clip – “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SHAME YOU’VE BROUGHT ONTO THIS SCHOOL WITH YOUR LITTLE TELEVISED STUNT!?”
“Kagine-sensei?”
The man turned towards where Tatsuki had spoken up, “What, Arisawa?”
“Ichigo and Rukia were on TV, as was Chad, that’s undeniable, so I understand why they were singled out, but why are Orihime and I here! Ishida isn’t!”
He just stared at her for a moment, like isn’t it obvious, “He already told me that it was just coincidence, he was just passing by during filming. You two were there with them, weren’t you?” Behind his back, Ichigo made a face at Tatsuki because ha, if I’m going down, so are you.
She narrowed her eyes at him slightly for a moment, “Coincidentally, us too! We bumped into Rukia on our way there.” – before she waved a hand at both the looping TV clip and Ichigo himself – “We had nothing to do with that!”
“Hey!”
“Liar! I invited you and Orihime!!”
Tatsuki bull-dozed past both his and Keigo’s objections, “Don’t believe him. He’s infamously delusional.” – then made for the door with Orihime on her heels before anyone could object – “That’s what happened! We’re going back to class now!”
Ichigo yelled after her, “Judas!”
“Should have paid me fourteen silver beforehand then!”
Keigo tried to scramble after them, “Okay, th-then, I’m going too!” Kagine caught Keigo by the back of his shirt before he got more than a step away, “Not you!”
“Why not? I was just there with Ichigo!?”
Kagine narrowed his eyes and got in Keigo’s face, “Because you were there with Ichigo! You should’ve tried harder to stop him!!”
“I tried to stop Chad!!”
“I’m sorry.” Ichigo side-eyed where Rukia started up crocodile tears, speaking in very polite language like she really was sorry to the very depths of her black, shriveled heart, “This is all because I wasn’t strong enough Ichigo. I was closest to him at the time, I even humiliated myself by screaming to stop him from charging in, but Ichigo wouldn’t listen to me.”
Kagine started to panic at the tears, “AAAH! D-Don’t cry, Kuchiki-san!! You didn’t do anything wrong! It was all Ichigo’s fault! Right!?”
Ichigo mouthed Judas at her even as they rushed to escape before Kagine noticed, Ochi-sensei not doing a thing to either stop them or alert her fellow teacher to them escaping.
He still noticed, just as they escaped the room, “HEY! STOP!! YOU HOOLIGANS!!!”
Rukia rushed out right past him, then past them, leading the pack, “COME ON SLOWPOKES!!”