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“Frankie.” The boy jumped back to put space between him and Charlie but not before Merlin could see their lips joined. The two had become friends recently but he hadn’t realised there might be more to it. “Leo’s on the phone, he wants to talk to you about Saturday.”
By the time they got off the phone, Merlin was washing up and Frankie lingered behind him. “We were just messing about.”
Merlin looked at him and gave him a small nod. “Okay.”
“Are you gonna tell dad?”
“Do you want me to?” Frankie shrugged. “There’s no reason for me to. There’s no reason to keep it a secret either.”
“Ain’t really anything to keep secret. We were just messing about.”
Merlin nodded again. “Okay.”
Charlie was still around here and there but there was no more mention of it, no other hints that they might be more than friends until Eggsy caught them kissing at the bottom of the stairs a couple of weeks later. Frankie blushed bright red. “I thought you were at work.”
“A couple of meetings got cancelled so I’m working from home.” Eggsy’s gaze flicked between the two boys. “I’ll be in the office.”
Merlin was home a while later and by then Charlie was gone, Eggsy was still working and Frankie was quietly doing his homework when he passed by to ruffle his hair. “Alright, lad?”
Frankie cleared his throat before he spoke. “Dad saw me kissing Charlie.”
“Oh. What did he say?”
“Nothing. Don’t really wanna talk about it. Just, now you both know, right? It’s not a secret any more.” Merlin hummed in understanding. He didn’t see the use in pushing the matter if Frankie didn’t want to talk about it.
Instead he spoke to Eggsy as he cuddled up to him in bed. “Frankie told me you saw him and Charlie together.”
“Yeah. You already know about them?”
He felt Merlin nod. “I saw them a couple of weeks ago. He told me they were just messing around. I asked him if he wanted me to tell you and he didn’t answer. He didn’t tell me either, I figured he’d talk to us when he was ready.”
“But now we both know, we have to talk to him, don’t we? I mean, if they’re not just messing about…He brought Charlie here when he thought neither of us would be home, we can’t just ignore it, can we?”
“He’s 14, Eggsy, what do you think they’re getting up to?”
“I dunno, probably nothing, hopefully nothing. I just wanna be sure he’s okay.”
Merlin hummed and kissed at the back of his neck. “Okay. We’ll talk to him tomorrow.”
And talk they did, over dinner the following evening. “Franks, we’ve gotta talk to you about Charlie.”
“Why?”
“What’s going on between you two?”
“Nothing.” He ducked his head, staring down at his food. Merlin reached over to place a hand on his shoulder.
“Lad, you have two dads. If you’re interested in boys, no one understands how you’re feeling more than us. You don’t need to be ashamed, it’s okay.”
“We just kissed a couple of times.” Frankie shrugged. “Just wanted to see what it was like.”
“Is he your boyfriend?”
“Not really. I dunno.”
“Listen, mate, if he is and if that’s all you’re doing, it’s fine. But if you’re thinking about doing more than that, you need to talk to us. We need to make sure you’re okay and you’re not doing anything dangerous.”
“We’re not doing anything. I’m fine, I swear.”
“Alright. You’ll talk to us if you need to, yeah?” Frankie nodded and they decided to leave it alone. Charlie was a little bit older and quite a bit more mature so they kept an eye on things but otherwise left them to it. He stopped coming around after a few weeks with the explanation that they weren’t really friends any more so they figured they had nothing to worry about. It was another few after that that they realised they had things all wrong.
“Pop?” Merlin looked up at the sound of his boy’s tearful voice and felt all of the blood drain from his face. “It won’t stop bleeding.”
“Oh my god.” Merlin flew off of the bed to hold Frankie’s bleeding arm in his hands. “Eggsy!”
“What?” Eggsy poked his head out of the en suite and ran over himself. “Shit!”
“Did you do this?” Frankie only cried harder, his body and his bottom lip trembling. “It’s okay, lad, it will be okay. Come and sit down. Eggsy, can you get me a clean, damp towel or flannel or something?”
Merlin sat him on the end of their bed, took the towel from Eggsy and gently wiped the blood away. Underneath were over a dozen cuts across his left wrist and forearm - some fresh, some a little older, and some just about healed - and blood flowing from one of them. “Oh, Frankie.” Eggsy pulled him against him and pressed a kiss to his head. “Do we need to take him to the hospital?”
“I don’t know. Hold you arm up, lad.” Frankie raised his arm above his head and Merlin held a clean part of the towel against it. “How long has it been bleeding?”
“I dunno, maybe five minutes? Maybe a bit more?” He wiped his other hand across his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Eggsy shushed him and held his head against his chest, brushing his fingers through his dark curls. “It’s alright, Pop will take care of it.”
Merlin kept pressure on the cut while Eggsy tried to sooth their son and after a few more minutes the bleeding slowed down. He kept Frankie’s arm up for a little longer until it finally seemed to stop. “Can you get the first aid kit, love?” Eggsy went to fetch the bag from the kitchen. Merlin held Frankie’s chin in his hand and stroked his thumb across his cheek as he kept the towel on his arm just in case. “Do you feel alright?” Frankie nodded. “You don’t feel dizzy or light-headed or anything?” He shook his head and Merlin felt his cheeks and forehead. “Do you feel cold?”
“I feel fine, Pop. I’m really sorry.” Merlin just pressed a kiss to his forehead. Eggsy was quickly back with the first aid kit in his hands and tears in his eyes. Merlin sprayed some antiseptic spray over the new cuts and wrapped a clean bandage around his arm, then finally sat back, crouching in front of him. Frankie was still sobbing and he felt real pain in his chest for his boy.
“How long have you been doing this, lad?”
“A couple of weeks, I guess.”
“Why?”
Frankie shook his head where it rested against Eggsy’s stomach. “Talk to us, mate. Please.”
“I can’t.”
Eggsy went back to stroking through his hair. “Why not?”
“It’s too embarrassing.”
“Frankie.” Merlin ducked his head down to force him to meet his gaze and spoke softly. ”This goes beyond being embarrassed. Whatever’s happened, your dad and I will not judge you. But if something’s going on that’s making you want to hurt yourself, we need to know what it is.”
“You’re gonna be angry.”
“We won’t.”
“Or disappointed.”
“We won’t, lad.”
Frankie threw his head back as tears kept bubbling out of his eyes. He pulled his feet up onto the bed and tucked his face into his knees. “Charlie didn’t like me, he was tricking me. He told all of his friends that I kissed him and they were all taking the piss out of me behind my back. And…” He sniffled into the back of his good hand. “And I sent him some pictures and he sent them to everyone. Everyone in my year’s seen them.”
“What kind of pictures?” Frankie peered guiltily over his knees and Merlin nodded slowly. “I see.”
“Now everyone thinks I’m gay and they’re not just taking the piss behind my back any more. They won’t let me in the changing rooms or let me play football or rugby with them or anything, everyone thinks I’m gonna perv on them or try and touch them up. Charlie made a bunch of other stuff up and everyone thinks I’m some freak and everyone believes it because one of his friends took a picture of me kissing him. No one wants anything to do with me.”
Merlin looked to Eggsy and saw the fury in his eyes matching his own. Eggsy sat and properly cuddled Frankie against him. “We’ll fix it, Franks. It will all be okay, I promise. Just please don’t hurt yourself any more.”
“I won’t.”
“And you know you have to be so careful about what you send to people.”
“It wasn’t like he was a stranger. I trusted him, I thought he liked me.” He sniffled again. “He talked me into it and I panicked after I sent them and begged him to delete them but he wouldn’t.”
Merlin rubbed at his ankle to comfort him. “You can’t control what people do with the things that you send them once they have them. He should never have asked you for those pictures, you’re underage. Every single person that has them is breaking the law, we’ll make sure it’s dealt with, lad.” Frankie nodded as he wiped away more tears. “What did you use to cut yourself?”
“I took apart a razor, used the blades.”
Merlin held in a sad sigh. “Go and get them please.” Frankie did as he was told and Merlin scrubbed his hands down over his face. “I’m going to kill that Charlie.”
“You can’t do that, love.”
“I can make life as difficult for him as possible.” Eggsy just shrugged. “I can’t believe someone would do that.”
“Me neither.”
“He’s our boy, how can he be hurting so much and us not know?”
“I dunno.” Eggsy hugged his husband and scratched at the back of his neck. “We just have to do what we can to make it right.”
Frankie brought back the deconstructed razor wrapped up in a tissue and Merlin set it aside to throw away later. “I don’t wanna go back to school.”
“We’ll talk to them, mate, you can take a few days off and let it all blow over.”
“No, dad. Everyone hates me, it’s horrible. It’s not gonna blow over, people aren’t gonna forget it. Please don’t make me go back.”
Eggsy pulled him into a tight hug. “Okay. You don’t have to go back.” Eggsy kissed his temple. “I love you so much. You can always, always talk to us. Being embarrassed for a little while will always be better than hurting yourself.”
Frankie nodded against his shoulder. “I love you too.”
“Frankie, come and sit down for a second.” The boy sat beside him and Merlin pulled him against his side. “I want to ask you something and you know the answer won’t make any difference to me and your dad.”
“Okay.”
“Is it just what other people think or is one of the reasons that you feel bad that you think you might be gay?”
Frankie fiddled with his hands in his lap as a knot formed in his stomach. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know if you’re gay or you don’t know if it’s what’s making you feel bad?” Frankie looked sadly at him. “You won’t offend us if that is how you feel but if that is what’s going on, we can help.”
“Kind of both. I don’t care that you two aren’t straight, I just don’t want people to hate me if I’m not and they really do. And I don’t even know if I am or not, I have no idea what I am. Like I don’t know if those times with Charlie were just trying things out or…I don’t know.” More tears slipped free and Merlin wiped them away.
“It’s okay not to know, it’s okay not to have a name for how you feel, you’re still figuring things out. It’s okay if you never do. What’s important is that you’re never ashamed of who you are. I love you, I just want you to be happy and comfortable in your own skin.”
“I know. I love you too. Thank you for fixing things, for everything, both of you.”
“I’m so sorry you’ve been in so much pain and we didn’t do something sooner.”
“So am I, mate.”
“It’s okay. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“Come here.” Merlin held him close and flung them back on the bed, both of their legs dangling off the end of the bed. He kissed the top of his head and gently massaged at his scalp, and the two of them ended up falling asleep like that. Eggsy couldn’t bring himself to wake them so he snuggled into Merlin’s other side to sleep instead.
They called the school and the police first thing the following morning and Leo hugged him half to death when he saw the bandages. Frankie was frequently sad, withdrawn and anxious but with time, a new school and counselling, they slowly got their happy, healthy boy back.