Chapter Text
xxx
Kim Jiwoo was Yerim’s latest victim. She was a gym instructor known for her joyful smile and energetic personality which were the traits needed to seduce and trick insecure omega girls into her bed. In other words, Jiwoo took advantage of her occupation to get into omegas’ pants. She was mostly a player, not as harmful as her previous victims, but her trail of broken hearts was massive and if rumors were true, a couple of girls had tried to end their lives because of her and Jiwoo didn’t even care. She was the true definition of fuckgirl.
Jiwoo was lucky her workplace had a continuing flow of new omegas every other week but that was also her disadvantage because that’s how Yerim had come to know her name. She was infamous. Omegas talked a lot and a bunch of them despised her but wouldn’t say anything because no one dared to confront an alpha and much less one like her who had money, status and apparently power, at least in the gym.
Yerim had wanted to study her and she had bought a one-month membership in the gym where she trained and worked at. It had been super easy gathering information about her as omegas loved talking and especially in the lockers where Yerim used to spend the majority of the time just listening to the latest gossip on Jiwoo.
“She’s kind of an asshole but she is super hot…” One omega said and Yerim thought that some omegas were as stupid as her counterparts.
“Yeah, she is… I think it’s worth it if you know what you're getting into…” Another girl said.
“Just don’t fall in love.” A new girl warned.
“Yeah, she doesn’t do relationships… She just does ‘you’...” The first girl told the group of friends.
“If I was you, I wouldn’t even try… You’re going to get your heart broken just like a lot of girls…” A fourth girl added.
“Do you mean Yoojung?” Yerim loved how these girls were just simply spilling everything for her.
“I was actually talking about Joowon but yes, she has been a jerk to plenty of girls…” Plenty of girls, that was the excuse Yerim needed to proceed.
“Once I heard that Yeonjung even called her on the phone while she was fucking another girl and told her that she if didn’t come to her apartment she would jump or something…” That just sounded wrong, extremely wrong, Yerim thought.
“Didn’t she threaten her with overdosing on some pills?” The first girl asked.
“I don’t know exactly… The thing is that she was going to harm herself and Jiwoo didn’t care…” An uncaring alpha, so typical.
“My friend who was sleeping with her at the moment told me that Jiwoo was thrusting into her with her phone in one ear, her head leaning into it and said that she wasn’t even a decent fuck and hung up…” Yerim couldn’t believe why this girl despite being a known douche continued scoring omegas.
“No way!!” Some girls replied in unison.
“Yeah, I told you, she’s an asshole… You’re better off without even talking to her…” The fourth girl recommended.
“In my opinion not even the amazing sex is worth it…” Everyone seemed to have some piece of information on the popular Kim Jiwoo.
Yerim listened attentively to all the girl’s small talk and decided that Kim Jiwoo truly deserved what was coming to her from her very own skillful hands. She couldn’t have her hurting and mocking more omega girls. She had to take care of her and erase her existence from the world.
xxx
Yerim didn't want to do the usual foreplay where she deceived her victims pretending to be an omega and all that. This time she had simply knocked Jiwoo unconscious when she was getting out of her car after arriving home. Yes, Yerim had followed her home because she didn’t want to attack her at the gym where any camera could record her. Fortunately, Jiwoo didn’t live too far from her place so it had been easy dragging her to her car, putting her in the trunk and just taking her home.
She had undressed her and tied her up like a pig, her arms crossed on her lower back and tied by the wrists while her legs were bent on the knees, a rope securing her thighs with her calves. Jiwoo would be unable to move once she woke up and Yerim had the best access to fuck her without any trouble as the girl’s ass was facing Yerim ready to be taken.
Nevertheless, contrary to her prior encounters, Yerim didn’t feel aroused at all. She just wasn’t in the mood to fuck Jiwoo or anyone at the moment. Her mind was full of Yeojin and dreamt of forgiveness and second chances. She had been a fool for not answering like she wanted. She had been a coward. Ironically, she couldn’t help but remember he father who so long ago had called her the same but in a completely different context.
And now that Yerim was older and a full grown adult, she understood that he had been right all along, she was a coward, but not because of what he believed, she was a coward because she couldn’t accept the feelings she already harbored for Yeojin. She was afraid of her, afraid of her rejection and Yerim didn’t like that feeling of fearfulness at all. She had to face them and be true to herself.
She continued observing Jiwoo and decided that she couldn’t go through with it. She wouldn’t. She didn’t feel in the mood to satisfy her sexual needs with the body of a dying girl. At least, not for now. Yerim looked at Jiwoo who was already prepared to be forcefully taken and remembered that everything was not about sexual pleasure as the girl was still a shitty person who had harmed so many others. Her mission wasn’t over yet. She needed to avenge all the helpless omegas.
Yerim turned Jiwoo around and realized that she was still unconscious. It would be so easy to dispose of her. Yerim grabbed a pillow from her bed and put it over her head, cutting the flow of air into her lungs as she pressed the cushion strongly onto Jiwoo’s face. Giving her a sweet death while she suffocated her in her sleep. It was just the kind of end someone like Jiwoo deserved or so Yerim had convinced herself.
xxx
“Yeojin…” Yerim was masturbating to the thought of her best friend. It was a first but by the way Yerim kept moaning and jutting her hips forwards into the hole of her hands, it wouldn’t be the last.
Yerim had her eyes closed, her nose scrunched up and her mouth open as her hand kept going up and down on her shaft. Her thumb grazing her slit as a thin string of precum leaked from the head. She hadn’t been able to fuck Jiwoo but when she arrived home, she felt uneasy like her body demanded her to do something it had gotten accustomed to.
After her mother’s death, Yerim had only jerked off using her hands as an instrument for her pleasure. For her, it was significant because in her twisted mind it meant that Jinsoul was the one doing it for her. But now, in the solitude of her room, the remains of her mother no longer accompanied her. She was pleasuring herself without any help and it felt incredibly amazing. Yeojin made it like that.
She feared her mother would get angry if she knew that what she was feeling at the moment was better than when her hands helped her. Yet, she couldn’t deny it anymore. She wanted Yeojin in every sense of the word and despite whatever her mother had told her, she hoped she could really accept her. There was no going back now, Yeojin was essential in her life. She would get her back and try to tell her everything in order to rip the band-aid off for good and learn if she was accepted or not.
xxx
Yerim felt the judging eyes of Jinsoul watching her while she carried the duffel bags containing Jiwoo’s body parts to the workshop’s fridge. She had greeted her but didn’t feel in the mood to talk to her further after making her feelings conscious. Yerim knew she would have to talk with her mother eventually but she hoped she could drag it out. Unfortunately, luck was not by her side.
“No… I will not be using any of her body parts… I’m just going to store them…” Yerim answered her mother’s inquiry.
Jinsoul was curious about what she was doing because she normally didn’t stuff everything straight into the fridge. Yerim was meticulous, she had a ritual which consisted in cleaning the body parts first, wrapping them and preparing them properly according to their final objective.
“Yeah, she’s an alpha… That’s why she is useless for your body…” Yerim didn’t like when her mother forced her to talk.
“Can we just talk later?” Yerim requested.
“Why did I-...? I just felt in the mood… There’s nothing wrong with that…” Yerim didn’t think her mother needed explanations for her actions.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Yerim firmly said to her mother.
“I said I don’t want to talk about it.” Yerim insisted.
“I’m not being disrespectful… I just don’t want to talk about it…” Yerim felt like she would spill everything inside her if Jinsoul kept insisting but still after all this time, Jinsoul had a way of getting away with what she wanted.
“Fine!! You want to talk? I’m going to talk…” Yerim slammed the fridge’s door shut and looked into her mother’s eyes ready for a conversation she would have preferred to delay.
“I’m in love with her, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?” Yerim crossed her arms in frustration and her mother looked at her like she was not saying anything new.
“Do you always have to be a know-it-all? I don’t get it… I don’t get how you can know me better than I know myself…” Yerim said.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do about it… Not yet… I just know that I have to mend our friendship…” Yerim started to spill everything. Mothers always had that effect on their children.
“She’s mad at me… It was my fault, but she has been ignoring me for almost a week…” Yerim told her mother.
“I know I have to be honest with her but how can I be ‘completely’ honest? She will not understand… What I do it’s not something easy to comprehend...” Yerim said.
“I know, I know… I knew this day would eventually come…” Yerim lamented.
“It’s easy for you to say… You’re just ‘there’... Judging me and just-... It’s hard, I know... But I will do it… If I want her in my life I have to tell her the truth… About everything…” Yerim looked at her mother’s head.
“Yeah, I think I can omit that part…” Yerim chuckled when Jinsoul suggested not mentioning her unborn daughter’s name.
“I don’t know why you’re encouraging me to do it, honestly… Things will change if she does accept me…” Yerim would have to focus on Yeojin and let go of Jinsoul for the most part.
“I know you want my happiness but what about what you want?” Yerim asked Jinsoul.
“Do you really mean that? Are you not going to get jealous or anything…? I don’t want you upset either…” Jinsoul had told Yerim that she just wanted someone to love her fully and take care of her, be by her side and share the same dream.
“Okay, mom… I’ll go to her house tomorrow… There she won’t be able to refuse me…” Yerim hoped Yeojin would be prone to listening to her.
“Come on! We’ve already established that I won’t be calling you mommy any longer…” Yerim stifled a laugh at Jinsoul’s complaint.
“It doesn’t matter if you were doing it on purpose for me to ‘react’... You shouldn’t have called Yeojin that…” Yerim was firm on her decision.
“Whipped? Really, mom??” Yerim looked at her mother and smiled, knowing that as long as she had her, rejection or not rejection from Yeojin, she would be okay.
xxx
“Yeojin I-...” Yerim opened her mouth as soon as Yeojin opened the door of her apartment. Fortunately, she had been the one answering and not her parents.
“Yerim?!?! What are you doing here?” Yerim had caught Yeojin by surprise. It was 5:30 a.m. and Yeojin was still dressed in her cute Adventure Time pajamas. She had thought the milkman was the one ringing the doorbell and something had happened to him because of the insistence of the rings.
“Yeojin, I need to talk with you. Please, can you let me in?” Yerim used her best pleading voice. She didn’t want to tell Yeojin such important things at the entrance of her doorway.
Yeojin looked at Yerim. She looked awful. She looked like she hadn’t showered in days, her hair was all tangled, the bags in her eyes were too prominent. She looked like a crazy person but she still stole her breath away even if she looked terrible. Yeojin opened the door wide and Yerim stepped inside.
“Are your parents at home?” Yerim whispered not wanting to disturb Yeojin’s family.
“I guess they are sleeping.” Yeojin replied.
Seeing Yerim again made her happy. She couldn’t really stay mad at the girl she adored for too long and after finding out a lot of things about her, she felt that it didn’t really change anything for her. Yerim would always be the girl she loved, whatever she did or didn’t do, as long as she continued being caring, loving and protective towards her.
“Yeojin I-...” Yerim was dying to let out everything off her chest but Yeojin interrupted her.
“I’m sorry for ignoring you, Yerim. I just needed time and it was difficult for me to act like nothing had happened when my feelings were out in the open… I felt vulnerable and I thought that being away from you would make it better but now that I see you here, I know that I just can’t run away from you… Nothing has changed and probably nothing will… I will continue loving you even if you don’t but I don’t want to lose ‘us’... You’re too precious to me… You’re my best friend… It will be hard for me but I want to be at your side no matter what… As friends of course… I know you will always love your-...” Yerim liked how Yeojin tended to babble when she was nervous but she also knew she never stopped, so she interrupted her because Yeojin was already playing a thousand scenarios in her mind when she hadn’t even told her how she felt.
“Yeojin, I love you.” Yerim took Yeojin’s hand in her own and confessed after she interrupted her jabbering.
“Uh?” Yeojin looked at Yerim surprised. She wasn’t expecting that.
“Yeojin, I love you… In a romantic sense if you didn't get it the first time…” Yerim chuckled but proceeded.
“I’ve denied it for so long but I’ve been in love with you for a while… For years even… But now I’m ready to be truthful and I’m ready to be with you if you’ll have me…” Yerim hoped Yeojin could.
“Yerim, I-...” Yerim silenced Yeojin by putting a finger above her lips.
“Yeojin, listen to me first. I love you and I know you love me… The logical step would be for us to be together and there’s nothing else I want more than that but I have something to tell you first… Something to confess…” Yerim said and let go of Yeojin’s hands. She needed to do this alone.
“Yerim, I already know… I- I- I might not understand it but I’m okay with it…” Yeojin said but Yerim ignored her because whatever was Yeojin talking about couldn't be what she wanted to say to her.
“Jinsoul, my ex-wife, my lover, the mother of my first child… She was… She was my mother, my biological mother…” Yerim felt that starting from the beginning would be the better choice.
Yerim had been right. Yeojin was not referring to that when she said she knew about Yerim and accepted her despite that. This was new to her. Evidently, she knew who Jinsoul was and all the tragic story regarding Yerim’s past but this piece of information changed everything she had assumed about Yerim. In a way, it made her understand her better. Now everything made sense if the tiny bits Yerim had told her were true at all.
Yerim was waiting for Yeojin to say something, anything but the girl just looked at her in utter shock. Yerim didn’t know that Yeojin was connecting the dots about everything at the moment. Yeojin was not clueless like her. Yeojin was a smart girl, she had always been and she would always surprise Yerim one way or another with her reasoning, and today wouldn’t be the exception.
“Your father killed her. Your father killed your mother because she was with you? He killed them both, her and your baby…” Yeojin said more like a statement, understanding what had happened.
“I’m so sorry, Yerim. You not only lost your wife, but also your mother.” Yeojin said and Yerim couldn’t comprehend her understanding. Any other person would call her a pervert or something worse and here Yeojin was saying she was sorry for her loss.
“I know you loved her very much. You always kept talking about her when we first became friends and I could see it in your eyes, the love you had for her… The love you still have for her…” Yeojin hadn’t tried pursuing Yerim because she knew that competing with a dead person was a lost cause but now that this dead person was not only a lover but also a mother, she felt like she couldn’t even have the tiniest bit of Yerim’s heart.
“I loved her, yes. But that love is a memory. A memory that I will treasure. Right now, you’re the one that has all my heart… All the love I have is for you, Yeojin… I hope you understand that…” Yerim sincerely said. Finally, owning her feelings.
“I don’t want you thinking that you’re subpar in comparison to her. You’re both my loved ones but you… You’re much more than that… You are my everything…” Yerim said and understood why her mother told her that she was her everything any other time.
With Yerim, Jinsoul completed her life cycle. However, Yerim’s hadn’t completed hers yet. Yerim did love Jinsoul but her love was not of the undying kind like the one she felt for Yeojin who made her strong and weak at the same time. Who made her do unimaginable things like what she had done to Jungeun. The love she had for Yeojin was true love if such a thing did exist. The love she had for Jinsoul was more of the comfort kind, one of companionship, understanding and support because of the situation they were trapped in. A love that was born out of desperation and need in times where they couldn’t have anyone else but themselves. Yerim knew that now.
Yerim had forced on herself the idea that if it was not Jinsoul, it couldn’t be anyone. She had been so wrong. Yeojin had passed through her stubbornness and made her realize that there was indeed a reason for her to live. The reason was Yeojin. She had always been the reason and as much as Yerim liked to think that her crafts project was, it just wasn’t. It couldn’t compare with what she felt for the younger girl.
Unfortunately, in her self-discovery and enlightenment, Yerim had found the pleasure of vengeance and rightfulness and that was something that couldn’t be denied anymore. She had used it as an excuse before but now she had to tell Yeojin that even though everything related to her mother she would forget and move on completely from alongside the hold she still had on her, some things wouldn’t be so keen to go away.
“Yerim…” Yeojin could not say anything else but the name of the girl she was in love with. She was too overwhelmed by her story and her choice because after everything she had come to know recently, it seemed Yerim had chosen her over her own mother, the supposed love of her life, even though Yerim had never used that term to refer to Jinsoul.
“Yeojin… You’re my true love… You’re the love of my life…” Yerim hoped that her final words would make Yeojin react because she hadn’t said anything really about what she had said.
Yerim noticed that Yeojin seemed to be processing everything and thought that it might be for the best to tell her everything at once. Things she already knew but not in fullness and things she had omitted. She wanted for Yeojin to understand why she got involved with her mother and not only why her father killed her.
“My alpha father was from a renowned family. He was set up for a supposedly convenient marriage from an early age. My mother and him didn’t love each other and only focused on trying to breed worthy offspring…. I was an only child and my dad’s disappointment. I believed he did love me at a time but he couldn’t get over the fact that my behavior indicated that I would present as an omega….” At this information, Yeojin looked at Yerim like she couldn’t believe her. Yerim as an omega, although she had a caring nature, sounded laughable because she was also strong and dominant just like alphas were supposed to be.
“... All my traits and behavior were typical of omegas when I was younger… My father didn’t want an omega but at least he thought I would be a good omega specimen just like my mother who was the most submissive omega I’ve met… She had been brought up that way… Old school, you know…? The day I presented as an alpha my mother was happy because she knew that was what my father wanted but he didn’t take it well at all… He thought I was a disgrace to alphas because of my compliant nature which I had because of my mom and her teachings…” Yerim said as tears sprinkled in her eyes and Yeojin took her hand in comfort.
“He started vocally abusing me. My mother couldn’t do anything, that was how submissive she was. She couldn’t stand up to him… Then, he got physical with her. I think he wanted to get a reaction out of me, but I just watched how he beat her to a pulp any other day, unable to do anything... Until the day he tried to chop off my womanhood…” Yerim pressed Yeojin’s hand tighter and Yeojin felt like crying. Was Yerim damaged down there? Is that why she did what she did?
“... But he wasn’t successful in causing permanent damage… I have a scar, though… That day changed everything because I was so weak I couldn’t defend myself but my cries woke my mother up and she came into my defense and kicked my father out of our house… My mother and I only had each other and when she ran out of suppressant pills, well you can imagine what happened…” Yerim said and Yeojin understood what she meant.
“Our relationship started as a sexual one, but our filial love was already there. I became the alpha she needed and I became the alpha my father wanted me to be… At the time I didn’t really know what I wanted to be but I knew my mother needed me, so I guess I just went along with the flow at first… Things changed when she got pregnant, though… I started seeing her differently, as a mate in a way... And because we were going to be a family, I proposed… We got married and when she was eight months pregnant my father discovered the nature of our relationship and in a fit of rage he killed her… I think he believed she was the root of all our problems… Thing was, I realized too late that he hated her… I always thought he hated me but that was not it… He despised her and he thought that by getting rid of her, everything would be better…” Yerim said and by now Yeojin was crying profusely. Incapable of processing the amount of pain Yerim must have gone through.
“I killed him, Yeojin. I turned around and he said my daughter’s name and I felt so angry… I had so much hatred towards him… I just killed him… And then I ran… I ran and I bumped into you… And you…” Yerim word’s lingered once that she had confessed that her father had not killed himself but that she had ended his life.
“... Gave you a lollipop…” Yerim turned to face Yeojin. She had told her she had killed somebody and she just completed her sentence recalling their fateful encounter.
Yeojin lunged herself over Yerim’s body and hugged her. Nothing Yerim had said changed anything. She still felt the same. Nothing she did or say would change the strong feelings she felt towards the girl. There was nothing that would make her separate herself from Yerim now that they had each other. Nothing. Her love for her was too strong. Perhaps even unreasonable.
“Yeojin… That’s not all…” Yerim ruffled Yeojin’s hair like she always did, prepared to tell her worst crimes but Yeojin stopped her.
“I know, Yerim. I know. You don’t have to say anything else.” Yeojin told her and hugged her tighter. Yerim tried again.
“No, Yeojin… You don’t understand… I want to-...” Yerim insisted but was silenced by Yeojin once again.
“I understand, Yerim. It doesn’t make me love you any less… Can we just stop talking? Can you just kiss me?” Yeojin told Yerim and as much as Yerim did want to and was prepared to confess all of her sins, she wasn’t able to resist Yeojin’s pouty mouth. From now on, she would never be able to. Perhaps, when the time was right, she would be capable of telling her the truth. Yet, she wasn’t afraid anymore. She believed Yeojin would still love her once she knew everything.
xxx