Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In a way, Caduceus should have known it would happen.

Springtime was always a welcome sight in the Blooming Grove.  The bursting of color on the graves after the long white winter, full of life after lying dormant for a season under a layer of snow, was a sign that the Wildmother was taking care of them.  But Caduceus’ mother often pulled aside her children to tell them of another blossoming that could happen when the flowers were at their brightest - a blossoming within them.

When a firbolg comes of age, still young in the long lived span of their species but mature enough to be seen as an adult, the springtime could bring on a change in their bodies that would otherwise be dormant and still.  A quickening of pulse, a catching of breath, a feeling of warmth deep in their loins.  This was nothing to be afraid of, this was a part of life.

Someday, all firbolgs would experience their first mating season.

It had just never happened to Caduceus.

Oh it had happened around him.  He had seen his mother and father in the springtime, knew the fire in their eyes that the blooming flowers would bring.  And he had seen it happen to his siblings, both Colton and Calliope reaching maturity and experiencing their first spring in the heat of this transformation to adulthood.  But not Caduceus.  Never Caduceus.

This was not unusual, his mother told him.  Firbolgs bloomed at different rates, and there were so many factors to determine when an individual’s blossoming would happen.  Age of course was part of it, but there was also a reactive nature to it - the body didn’t waste the energy if it did not have access to a viable mate.  

His mother and father bloomed every year within days of each other, for they were constantly with the one who their bodies had deemed worthy of mating (and as Caduceus was well aware, they took advantage every year, even if it did not always result in child).  Colton and Calliope never bloomed in years where they spent most of their days in the Grove - their bodies knew all too well that the people around them were blood, not to be mated.  But when they travelled for long periods in the fall or winter, sometimes they would come home for a blossoming spring, having spent time in the world around others who their body had deemed worthy.

But Caduceus and Clarabelle had not had their blossoming.

Clarabelle made sense, she was still very young.  But Caduceus was an adult, fully mature by many seasons.  His mother assured him it was because he stayed diligently at home and did not travel far beyond their grounds.  While they occasionally got visitors in the Grove, it was not for long enough for his body to begin preparation for the springtime.  

There simply had never been anyone worth mating around long enough for his body to realize it. 

And in truth, he had felt no interest in seeking one out.

Still, his mother, father, and aunt were wise enough to teach all their children the basics.  How to notice the signs, what to do when it happens.  Caduceus had been given “the talk” many times, especially in years where his siblings bloomed.  He knew all too well how to notice the signs on other firbolgs - the musky smell, the trembling hands, the racing heart, the beading sweat - but he had never experienced them for himself.

And perhaps after ten years of isolation, he had forgotten that it was even a possibility.

His mother assured him that this change, whenever it happened, was not something to be ashamed of or something to be feared.  And his father reminded him that simply because his body was changing, it did not have to mean anything.  One could simply flower alone if they wanted to, or take a partner simply to enjoy the rare fire set in their blood, or bed down with a mate in the pursuit of creating life.  This change was not meant to be a sentence he was destined for - a mated life with calves - simply a sign that his body was ready to try if he wanted that.  And if he did not, there were plenty of ways to still celebrate his body’s spectacular change in ways that made him feel comfortable, happy, and safe.

But it never happened.  Not once while his family was close to him, and not once in the ten years they were away.

So Caduceus could be forgiven for forgetting that it was something to expect every year in the spring, despite all the teachings his parents imparted on him.  And he could be forgiven for forgetting some of the early signs of it’s approach - the shortness of breath, the ravenous hunger, the difficulty sleeping.  And the focus of his mind on closeness and warmth - the desire to hold and be held by someone he trusted.

It had been so long, he forgot that it even meant anything at all.

It was springtime in Zadash, and Caduceus was enjoying all the beautiful flowers that were springing up in garden boxes under window sills throughout the city as the Mighty Nein walked to the Pentamarket to do some shopping.  The walk was brisk, a pace he normally had no trouble keeping up with, but his stomach was growling and he hadn’t slept well the night before.  It made it hard to keep up, so the distraction of the flowers was welcome.  

Jester had written up a very long list of things they needed: spell components and potions and new armor and supplies, much of which could be bought at The Invulnerable Vagrant.

“-and a diamond, and some leather oil, and some snacks for Sprinkle,” she rattled off, checking her list for the fifteenth time.  Fjord sneezed.  “Oh!  And we should see if Pumat has any allergy potions, for Fjord.”

At that, Frumpkin trilled from Caleb’s shoulder.

“Is it only cats that you are allergic to, Fjord?” Yasha asked, putting a hand on Fjord’s shoulder.

“Well it’s apparently cats and fey creatures taking the form of cats,” Fjord grumbled, giving Caleb a smile to assure him that he meant no ill offense.  “I only know cats for sure because we used to have them on the ship, for mousing.”

“Well it is spring,” Beau mused, “Allergies always seem to get worse in the spring.”

“They also get worse when you sleep in a home entirely staffed by magical cats,” Fjord pointed out.

“I may know some herbal teas that can help with the sneezing,” Caduceus said.

“Thanks ‘Duces, I may have to take you up on that,” he answered and Fjord smiled at him too.  Caduceus’ heart fluttered at the sight, which… he admitted, it had been doing more and more the longer he had been with the Nein.  He didn't know if this was something caused by his years of isolation, or if it was something special about these people, but his heart swelled with love for them all, in so many ways.  Brave and loving and beautiful in their own ways...  And Caduceus was not blind, he knew Fjord was very handsome, his smile especially made Caduceus feel warm inside.  But the past few days that warmth had grown even deeper, and Caduceus found himself wondering if there was something to this feeling.  If there was something… special about the way Fjord in particular smiled at him.

It certainly made him feel ways he had never felt before.

As they got closer to the Vagrant, they were surprised to see that the shop was relatively empty, cleared out of most goods except for bare bones essentials.  Only one Pumat could be seen at the counter, and he seemed pretty focused on finishing early so he could lock up.

“Pumat?” Beau asked.  “Everything okay man?  This place looks like it got robbed.”

“Oh hey there friends!” Pumat replied, waving heartily at the Nein as they entered his shop.  “Nah, everything is fine, I’m just closing up the shop a little early.”

“Where’s Prime?” Caduceus asked, always able to tell when it was a Simulacra he was speaking to.  He glanced to the back work room, which was dark. “I know he doesn’t typically run the shop, but he’s usually in the back at least.”

“He’s upstairs with Three and Four,” Pumat Two replied, “Getting ready for some time off.  Just needs a little rest and relaxation, ya know?”

“Oh no is Pumat okay?” Jester asked worriedly, leaning on the counter with concern, but the Simulacra merely laughed.

“Oh no, he’s fine he’s got the… the spring fever you know?” he answered as if that made perfect sense.  “Makes it a little hard to focus on enchanting, so he’ll be taking a couple days off.”

“Spring Fever?” Veth asked, eyeing Pumat carefully.  “What is that, allergies?”

“Respectfully I think it’s something Mister Clay is pretty familiar with,” Pumat answered with a gesture at Caduceus.  “I mean he’s about to start too, so he’s probably told you all about-”

Everyone’s faces turned to Caduceus, a mix of confusion and fear.

“Caduceus are you getting sick?” Jester cried, running over to him and reaching a hand up to try and touch his forehead.  The lanky firbolg bent over to accommodate.  “Oh gosh, you’re pretty warm…”

“I feel fine Jester,” Caduceus assured her, though a particularly loud growl in his stomach disagreed.

“It’s not really a sickness anyway,” Pumat agreed, “Just sort of a seasonal Firbolg thing.  But surely you all have already made plans for it, what with Caduceus about to be in the thick of it.”

“Thick of what?” Fjord asked, looking at Caduceus with concern.

“Oh I… Sorry Caduceus, that was rude of me.  I thought you had told everyone,” Pumat admitted shyly.  “I know they don’t have as good a nose as us, but I could smell you as soon as you walked in and I assumed everyone knew already.”

“Caduceus smells?” Veth shrieked, running over to sniff the Firbolg.  “I don’t smell-”

“Now that you mention it there is sort of an… earthy smell?” Fjord replied, his brow furrowed as he tried to pick out the scent.  “Is that you, Caduceus?”

“I suppose it is, I-” Caduceus paused, putting a hand to his chin as he thought.  “Oh.  Oh, it’s happening then.”

“What’s happening?” Veth and Jester both cried.

“I suppose I’m going to bloom this year,” Caduceus said simply, and Pumat Two beamed at him while his friends continued to look confused.  “I didn’t expect that.”

“Been awhile for you, has it?” Pumat said with a chuckle.  “I know, sometimes I go a few years without it and I forget to prep.”

“No I’ve… it’s never happened before,” Caduceus admitted.

“Well congratulations friend!” Pumat replied, “What an absolutely special occasion for you!  I hope you plan on taking some time off, the first one is always a little more intense.”

“What is happening?” Beau cried in a panic.  “What is a bloom?  Is Caduceus a flower?”

“It’s firbolg mating season,” Caleb said simply, and everyone besides the firbolgs began to blush.

“I-is that so?” Fjord said with a cough, his green skin ruddy with hot blush.

“Caduceus are you in heat? ” Jester shrieked, pulling her hand away as her face lit up with wonder.  “Are you like an Omega?  Like in that one book, The Alpha’s Prince?”

Caduceus recalled a particularly fanciful book Jester had found that detailed a strange mating hierarchy in humans that he was fairly certain did not exist.  She had read some of it out loud to the group before Fjord determined he’d had enough of it and threw it into a lake.

“I do believe heats are more of a…” he paused, looking for the words. “Menschen mit einer Gebärmutter ... thing,” Caleb said, and now it was his turn to blush, though only he understood what he had said.  “Also those books are fiction, you know, not everything works like it does in your romance novels.”

“Some things do!” Jester defended.  “And heats are totally a thing, my mama taught me how to deal with them cause her clients sometimes get them when-”

“I am not denying they are a thing,” Caleb stammered at the same time over her, turning bright red, “I am simply saying it is not what Caduceus is-”

Their argument continued, dragging everyone else in, but Caduceus paid them no mind.

“Oh geeze,” Pumat said with a laugh, “Sorry, I made this rather awkward, didn’t I?”

“It’s alright,” Caduceus said with a smile, “I’m glad you reminded me, I would have been caught off guard.”

“You’ve really never gone through it before?” Pumat asked.  “Kinda a late bloomer, huh?”

“A bit,” Caduceus admitted.  “I just… never was around other people before.  People who weren’t my family.”

“Well let me tell you,” Pumat replied, “If you’re looking for a good place to relax, The Pillow Trove has some pretty nice rooms specifically for those races that have cycles like us.  Tabaxi, Orcs, and the like.  They’re a little pricey, but you get a nice bed and room service and a private bathroom, and it’s not a bad way to spend a few days.  Just let the lady at the desk know you’re looking for a ‘view of the moons’.  They’re very discrete about it, but they offer a lovely service.”

“That does sound nice,” Caduceus said.  “But we’ve got new leads to follow, and we’ll be heading out soon, I will probably just deal with it on the road.”

“Respectfully, I think it’s wise to take it easy,” Pumat insisted.  “It can be rather taxing.  But you’ve got a lot of work to do, I suppose.  Just make sure you take some time for yourself to relax in the next couple days.”

“I will, thank you,” replied Caduceus.

Once Jester and Caleb were finished discussing the finer points of romance novels and anatomy, the group bought what supplies they could from Pumat’s shop before he closed up, and then split up to finish their shopping at other places in the Pentamarket.  As the sun started to drift into late afternoon, they headed back towards The Evening Nip, where Jester had convinced her father to let them stay for the night.

As they walked, Caduceus could tell that everyone had questions for him, but they all felt too shy to ask them.  This, he remembered, was a thing many races found shameful. Sexual maturity was something that happened to everyone, but it was only discussed in private with most races, kept secret from others.  He had never understood that, but he had found that he didn’t understand the way that most races in The Empire handled their emotional health.

“It’s very normal,” Caduceus insisted, “I just wasn’t expecting it.  But once it starts it will pass in a few days.”

“So it hasn’t started… yet?” Beau asked, looking Caduceus up and down.

“Well, if I’m musking already I must be getting close,” Caduceus admitted, and took note of the amusing way Veth’s face twisted up in a question at the word musking, “but no, I think I have another day or two if what my mother told me is any indication.  It’s nothing you all need to be concerned about.”

“We wouldn’t want to make things hard for you Caduceus.  Should we postpone our departure?” Caleb asked.  “Will it be difficult to travel in your… condition?”  He was so delicate in how he said it, it was very kind even if it was tangled up in that weird uncomfortable shame humans so often had.

“I honestly don’t know, it’s my first bloom,” replied Caduceus with a shrug.

A look of panic entered Fjord’s eyes “Wait, your first- ” Fjord cut himself off before finishing, seeming to bite his own lip.

“But I thought you were an adult, Caduceus?” Jester asked.  “You should have started puberty by now?”

“I am, but firbolg blooms are more dependent on their environment than anything else,” Caduceus explained, “And conditions were never right for mine to begin.  I guess they are now.”

“What has changed?” Yasha asked.

“I must have spent time with a compatible mate recently,” Caduceus replied with a shrug.

“Ooooh, Caduceus has a crush on someone?” Jester squealed, and Caduceus laughed.

“No no,” he chuckled.  “Attraction can be a part of a blooming, but it’s simply a body’s way of preparing for a potential future.  I've never really felt that, I simply was near someone fertile that my body deemed compatible, and it did the rest from there.”

“Compatible?” Beau asked, face red.

“Has a mix of traits I find appealing, with a similar reproductive cycle,” Caduceus said simply.  “Not necessarily a female, but someone whose body is ready to mate at the same time as mine is.”

“Well we certainly have a lot of fertile young people in our group,” Veth teased.  “No wonder your hormones are loopy, you’re lucky you weren’t around Mollymauk, he was always ready to bone down.”

“So if you’re compatible with one of us, your body just switches into baby making mode?” Beau gasped.  “That fucking sucks!”

“It’s only in the spring for a few days,” Caduceus soothed, “And it could have been anyone we spent a lot of time with, not necessarily one of you.”

“I bet it was Pumat,” Beau replied smugly, and Veth and Caleb nodded sagely at that suggestion.

“I wonder if I’m compatible with Caduceus,” Jester mused, which made Caduceus laugh.

“You are very lovely Jester,” Caduceus mused.  “Perhaps the little sapphire has bewitched me into blooming this spring.”

That made Jester smile brightly, but Caduceus knew it wasn’t her, and he suspected she knew as well.  He had never expressed that kind of interest in anyone, but he was reasonably certain any attraction he may have was not for women.  Caduceus was reserved, but he had eyes, and Jester wasn’t exactly his type.

Fjord had been strangely silent for most of the walk.

The Evening Nip was quiet as it was not quite late enough for the evening crowd, and after a brief hello to The Gentleman, everyone headed to the room they had been lent where Caleb would be able open the portal to his magical tower they now frequently stayed in.  As they headed in, Fjord caught Caduceus' arm.

“Duces can I… speak with you, alone?” he said softly.

“Of course,” Caduceus replied, letting the others go on ahead.  “What is it Fjord?”

There were no patrons to bother them so it was easy to find a place in the bar that they could talk.  Fjord pulled Caduceus into a quiet corner of the tavern, where a booth with a pulled curtain and a low table was waiting.  Fjord offered Caduceus a seat, and he happily took it.

“Are you…” Fjord seemed to be struggling with the words, his face still ruddy with blush.  “Is this really your first…  I mean you’ve never had to… deal with something like this before?”

“I mean I’ve never experienced it myself,” Caduceus admitted, “but my parents prepared me for what to expect, and I’ve seen my siblings go through it many times.”

“You’re not… nervous?” Fjord asked, his claw tracing circles on the wooden table.

“Should I be?”

Fjord glanced around to ensure they weren’t being listened to before continuing.

“Listen… I have… a bit of experience with stuff like this,” he admitted, glancing at the table.  His emphasis on this was vague, but Caduceus figured out what he meant from his unwillingness to name it.  “Half orcs can still get them, even if they’re a little milder than our full blooded cousins.”

“Oh, I see,” Caduceus replied.

“I just…” he looked positively mortified to be saying anything, but Caduceus took in every word carefully.  “I just remember how scared I was the first time it happened to me and… I’d hate to think you’re going to be suffering... like I was.”

“Fjord that’s very kind of you,” said Caduceus softly.  “I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such a terrible experience with your body.  But I don’t believe I will be suffering, a firbolg’s bloom is a joyful time.”

“Maybe but… It’s… difficult, when you’re by yourself,” Fjord sighed.  “A lot easier to bear when someone is there to help take care of you.”

Caduceus took pause at that.  

He and Fjord had grown close since his coming to the Wildmother but this seemed like a step further than he had been expecting.  He had to admit he had feelings for Fjord, but those feelings were complex and new, and right now he was beginning to wonder how much of that was his oncoming bloom coloring his emotions.  But this… Fjord’s shyness made it difficult to parse what he meant, and in matters like this, his mother’s words were very clear: always be honest .

“Forgive me for being blunt, but are you saying you would-”

“Just!  Someone to be there to help you clean up and make sure you’re hydrated!” Fjord interrupted, his voice going high.  “I know you're not into... It doesn’t have to be anything else!  Really!”

“Fjord, does this make you uncomfortable?”

“Oh gods,” Fjord’s voice cracked as he blushed even more.

“Because I don’t mind being alone with this, and you-”

“Caduceus listen.”  He reached out a hand to take Caduceus’.  “Y-you are such a good friend a-and you’ve been so supportive of me through some difficult changes, and I just…  I want to support you.”

“Thank you Fjord,” Caduceus said plainly.  “But I’m still not sure what you are offering.”

“I’m offering to keep an eye on you,” Fjord answered, his voice low.  “My first time in heat was awful, and the folks at the orphanage didn’t know how to help beyond keeping me locked in my room.”

Caduceus felt a pang of guilt in his stomach.  “That’s terrible.”

“My point is, if you need someone to sit by you and make sure you’re comfortable, I want it to be me,” Fjord continued.  “And if that… I know you’re… inexperienced… so if that means something more intimate, I could do that for you.  If you want me to.”

At those words, Caduceus felt his heart fluttering in his chest.  Something… more intimate?  That could only mean one thing, but...

“If that’s what you want, Fjord,” Caduceus whispered.  “I think I would be very grateful for your help.”

“This was… not how I expected this conversation to go,” Fjord admitted with a nervous laugh, and Caduceus laughed as well.  “Listen, we tell the others we need a few days.  We can get a room in town and just stay in, away from the group.  I’ll make sure your first rut is a pleasant experience, in whatever way that needs to happen.”

“Pumat said that The Pillow Trove has special rooms for people in my situation,” Caduceus said.  “Though he said they were rather pricey.”

“Don’t even worry about it,” Fjord insisted, “I’ll pay for the whole thing.  We’ll check in first thing tomorrow and stay until it passes.”

“This is very generous of you Fjord,” Caduceus said softly.  “Are you sure this is alright?”

“It’s more than alright,” Fjord answered, squeezing at Caduceus’ hand he was still holding.  “You’re my friend, and this is something that the others… won’t understand.  It’s different for them, they don’t have to experience how… vulnerable and alone it makes you feel, to be at the mercy of your body like that.  Like you’re… not in control anymore.”

“Do you feel like you’re being trapped by your body?” Caduceus asked, and Fjord nodded in response.  “I had not considered that these changes in a body might be something one could fear if they didn’t know what to expect.”

“You called it a bloom but...  It sounds like a nice thing for firbolgs but it is not a nice thing for orcs,” admitted Fjord quietly.  “It can be pleasurable, in the right circumstances, but… It can be painful and humiliating and so very lonely in others.  And I would rest easier knowing yours was the pleasant kind rather than… anything else.”

“I understand,” Caduceus soothed.  “And I accept your offer.  But please know you are allowed to leave at any time, I don’t want you to feel like you’re being trapped by me.”

“Oh I plan on leaving,” Fjord chuckled, and the tension of the moment eased.  “You’re going to want someone to be able to head down to the kitchens and get food.  If your blooms are anything like my heats, you’re gonna feel like you’re getting your sea legs all over again, and you do not want to walk down stairs with that, it’s a nightmare.”

They shared a few more quiet words before joining everyone at the wardrobe Caleb had transformed into his tower, and headed off to their rooms to prepare for bed.

Sleep did not come easy to Caduceus, but he knew why now.  The restlessness was just another aspect of the bloom that he had been ignoring.  Tomorrow he and Fjord would leave for The Pillow Trove , and he would finally experience this special rite of passage.  He was excited and nervous, but he was ready to face it.

Sleep did not come easy to Fjord either, though unlike Caduceus, he did not know why.

Chapter Text

In the morning, Caduceus was not surprised to find his brow damp with cold beads of sweat.  He was not surprised to find his hands shaking as he served up breakfast with his friends.  And he was not surprised to find his thoughts often turning to the idea of being safe and warm and comfortable, perhaps in a fancy bed at The Pillow Trove with Fjord sitting nearby, taking care of him.

Oh Melora, that was happening, wasn’t it?

The Mighty Nein were no strangers to each other’s bodies.  It was impossible to spend so much time together and not see each other naked when they changed clothing on the road, or relaxed together at the bathhouse, or needed to dress a wound.  He had seen all of them in their most natural state, and they had seen him, although the others were more likely to blush and look away when stumbling in on a naked friend.

But this… this was a different kind of intimacy.

When Colton or Calliope had gone through a blooming, his parents had always been on hand to ensure their children were safe and comfortable, but it had primarily been a solo activity.  The blooming child would stay in the guest bedroom, away from everyone else so they could have a bit of privacy in these moments, with mother or father coming in to bring food and water at regular intervals, to change the bedsheets, to ensure the child was comfortable.  Staying in bed, alone, the room heavy with the smell of their musk - Caduceus was not a fool.  He knew what Colton or Calliope would do when left alone, same as he knew what their parents did when they bloomed together.

Sexual release was a balm on the tightening coils in their bellies.

In truth, sex had not really been something Caduceus had put much thought into.  He had tried some things, tried stimulating himself when he was alone, but he had always been just that - alone.  And though some times, with some effort, he was able to find pleasure in it, it was something he rarely thought about.  Masturbation was something he did as a last resort to boredom and frustration.  He couldn’t imagine a context where he would do it for fun.  He supposed some day, maybe after his bloom, he would understand.  When his body blossomed, he would understand.

And now, as his fingers trembled serving up eggs and toast to the Nein, his thoughts were focused on Fjord.  Fjord, who offered to take care of him.  Fjord, who promised to watch out for him.  Fjord, who said he would help with Caduceus’ inexperience, if he wanted it.

Maybe this was the context his body had longed for.

Someone who cared for him, and he cared about too.

“Everyone, uh, Caduceus and I discussed it last night,” Fjord said at the breakfast table, “And we agreed it’s better for all of us that we take a few days off so Caduceus can… bloom.”

“Oh of course,” Caleb replied.  “We can delay our departure for a few more days.”

“Are you just gonna hang out in your room for three days and jerk off?” Jester said bluntly through a mouthful of bread, and Fjord choked on the small bit of eggs he had been chewing.

“I do not think that’s a good idea,” Caleb replied, “I… do not think I could keep the tower going that long.”

“Actually,” Caduceus answered, “Pumat told me about a service they offer at The Pillow Trove for people like me.  A room with a bed and full meal service, and a washroom.  So I can just stay in one place without worry.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” Jester continued, “Mama has done things like that for clients before.”  

“But are you okay with being alone for a few days?” Yasha asked.

“Oh, I won’t be alone,” Caduceus answered with a smile.  “Fjord has kindly offered to accompany me.”

“In a very platonic context!” Fjord cried as everyone’s eyes turned to him.  “Caduceus is going to be very tired and weak!  He’ll need someone on hand to make sure he is eating and drinking!”

Caduceus appreciated that everyone was so protective of him, that they knew him well enough to know this ask was out of line with how Caduceus usually behaved.

“It’s true,” Caduceus assured everyone, and that made the judging eyes ease off Fjord.  “Normally when a firbolg blooms for the first time, they are still with their family, so the parents can keep an eye on their child.  Or if not family, a mate or a close friend could do the same.  Fjord is going to do that for me.”

“Are you going to be okay just… sitting around watching Caduceus jack it?” Veth asked, looking at Fjord with devious eyes.

Fjord cleared his throat.  “I’m perfectly capable of finding other things to do if Caduceus needs… private time,” he answered.

Veth grinned at him, but did not say anything.

“Fjord can come and go as he pleases,” Caduceus assured everyone.  “I simply want him there in case it becomes overwhelming and I need assistance.”

He was greatly amused at the not-so-subtle hand motion Beau made at Jester, who giggled.

Fjord blushed.

Still, there was no more discussion of it.  The Nein were nosy, but they were understanding.  And if Caduceus said this was what he needed, they believed him.  After all, he was the authority on firbolg anatomy.  They knew he wouldn't ask for something that would make him uncomfortable.

After breakfast, Caduceus packed up his travel bag and waited at the bottom of the tower for Fjord, who joined him shortly afterwards.  Caduceus noted that Fjord had his pack and his bedroll.

“In case I need to sleep on the floor,” Fjord said when he caught Caduceus’ eyes on it.  “You’re going to want the bed.”

It hadn’t even occurred to Caduceus what the sleeping arrangements would be like.  Thinking about it, he imagined a room like this would only have one bed, as there would be only one reason to stay there.  He had simply imagined he and Fjord would share the bed, as they often did when sharing a room on the road, but now that he was thinking about it it made sense Fjord would want to give his friend space.

“This is very kind of you,” Caduceus reaffirmed.  “I’m thankful to have you with me.”

“Ah, well, don’t thank me yet,” Fjord said, and though he was blushing his smile seemed genuine.

After saying their goodbyes to their friends, Caduceus and Fjord began the walk to The Pillow Trove.  It was a fair distance from The Evening Nip, but Caduceus was grateful to be out in the cool morning air - his fur was moist with sweat, and the breeze felt nice.

“Do you… want to set up some rules?” Fjord asked quietly as they walked.

“Pardon?”

“S-sometimes, when I’m in heat,” Fjord continued, his voice wavering.  “I don’t… think straight.  If it’s real bad I don’t think much at all.  Hard to… hard to make decisions about… important things.”

“What kind of rules do you suggest?” Caduceus asked.

“Just, guidelines for what our interactions should be, when you’re too out of it to tell me,” Fjord answered, his eyes locked forward on the road as we walked.  “When do you… want help, and when do you want me to stand back.”

“Oh,” Caduceus said.  “I hadn’t considered that.  Well…” he thought about it for a bit before speaking.  “I would want to ensure I eat at least once a day, and that I continue to drink water whenever I am able.  And I would like to bathe at least once a day, I fear I’m going to become rather sweaty.”

“Yeah that tracks,” Fjord answered, glancing up quickly at the mussed fur on Caduceus’ forehead.  “So I’ll make sure you eat and have a bath every day, and that you’re drinking water.  What else?”

“I admit I don’t… I don’t know that much about how my body will behave,” Caduceus said quietly.

"Any thoughts on... my proposition?" Fjord asked.  Ah, yes.  The intimate help.

"In truth, I am not sure," Caduceus admitted.  "I have never really felt the need for these types of interactions."

“May I offer some suggestions?” Fjord replied.  Caduceus nodded.  “Sometimes things like this make you ask for things you’d never dream of in your waking hours.  Is there anything I shouldn’t let you do?”

“Oh, I…” another pause as he thought about it.  “I suppose, don’t let me breed anyone.  I have components for a spell to prevent that, but… If it comes to that, please make sure I cast it.”

“I can do that.  Anything else?”

Caduceus shook his head. "No, I think that is fine for now."

"Are you okay with..." he trailed off, in the usual fashion Fjord did when breaching these topics.

"Maybe.  I won't really know until it happens, but I know I can trust you to honor my requests," Caduceus said plainly.  “What rules should I honor for you?”

Fjord looked stunned at being asked.  “I don’t… Ducey this isn’t about me.”

“Of course it is,” Caduceus replied.  “You’re offering to be in a very intimate situation with me, I don’t want to put you in a situation that makes you uncomfortable.”

“Oh…” Fjord thought about it too.  “I guess… J-just don’t… call me names or… m-make fun of my body.”

It pained Caduceus to hear that someone would ever think to do such a thing to Fjord.

“I would never dream of it,” Caduceus replied, and Fjord looked relieved.  “Are you really okay with this arrangement?”

“Y-yeah I… It doesn’t have to mean anything, I just want to help you out,” Fjord stammered.  “Things like this go quicker when… when you’ve got a partner.”

“If you tell me no, I will not be hurt,” Caduceus answered.

Fjord looked down at his feet as they walked before speaking, his smile soft.  “I don’t know if I could… ever say no to you, Caduceus.”

“You always can,” Caduceus replied softly.  “Are there any other rules we should establish?”

“Are we - is this…” Fjord struggled to find good words for it.  “This will be your… first time?”

“Yes, we established this,” Caduceus answered.

“N-no I mean, if you and I…” he looked up at Caduceus, and then quickly looked away. “This will be your first… time.  Is it okay that it’s… with me?”

“Oh,” Caduceus said, looking down at Fjord.  “Fjord there is no one I would trust more with this.”

“R-really?”

“I believe you want me safe, comfortable, and happy,” Caduceus continued, “And I believe you will do what you deem is necessary for that, as you would do for me at all times in our friendship.  This time may require something more intimate, but that doesn’t mean I do not trust you.  I know you would never do anything to hurt me.”

Fjord chuckled.  “Gods, wish I could say the same for some of my previous partners.”

“I may not have much experience with things like this,” Caduceus assured him, “but I do have experience in knowing who to trust.  And I trust you.”

“Thank you,” Fjord said.  “It means a lot to me, having your trust.”

“And I trust that you will know what is best for me in this situation,” Caduceus said with a soft sigh.  “I am in uncharted waters, and I appreciate having someone close by who knows how to swim.”

“Oh I definitely know how to swim,” Fjord laughed, and Caduceus smiled at the sound.

“How about this,” Caduceus said, “We can establish a system to check on each other, to ensure we are both comfortable.  Simple phrases that are easy to remember to signal if things should stop or continue, like in some of Jester’s books?”

“We can do that,” replied Fjord.  “How about… red for no, or stop?”

“A dangerous color in nature would spark caution,” Caduceus mused.  “That sounds like a good choice.”

“Alright then, what about yes, good?”

Caduceus looked down at Fjord’s handsome face and knew exactly what to say.

“Green.  Like… the Wildmother.  Green for life.”

“Green it is,” Fjord replied, not catching the way Caduceus’ eyes were hanging on him.

“So to test it, Fjord, I’d like to have tea once we finish getting settled in the room,” Caduceus mused.  “Would you be okay having tea with me?”

“Yes,” Fjord answered quickly “Green, absolutely.”

“And what if I asked you to read to me from Jester’s book about human mating cycles… what was it called… The Alpha’s Prince I believe?”

“Oh that’s a red,” Fjord chuckled.  “I threw that in the lake for a reason.”

“Thank you,” Caduceus said.  “Please feel free to use these words for all our interactions over the next few days.  If you ever feel uncomfortable, you are allowed to say so.”

“You as well, Caduceus,” Fjord replied.

Entering the Tri-Spire was not difficult for the two of them, since both of them were capable of disguising their appearance to look more the part of “rich travelers” than “poor adventurers”.  And The Pillow Trove was easy enough to find, with it’s beautiful marble exterior and brilliant gold and purple flags and banners draped on the outside.

The elven woman at the front desk gave the half-orc and firbolg a critical, assessing look, but when Caduceus mentioned a room with a “view of the moons,” she seemed to understand immediately.

“The fare is 50 gold for each night, with a ten gold deposit for the room that you can get back at the end of your stay,” she explained.

“Pumat wasn’t kidding about it being expensive,” Fjord muttered, but handed over the coin for three nights without further complaint.  “What are the conditions for getting the deposit back?”

“That the room is left the way you found it,” she said flatly.  “Some patrons get rather… rowdy in that suite, so the deposit covers any repairs.”  She very pointedly looked at Fjord, who flushed.

“Is there anything else we should know?” Caduceus asked.

“If you find yourself… unable to leave your room, there is a sending stone on the dresser for contacting the front desk,” the receptionist answered.  “We can coordinate any room service you need through that.”

“Thank you very much,” Caduceus answered, “I hope we won’t be too much trouble.”

He was reasonably certain the look she gave as she passed over the key meant that she hoped so too.

They headed up the stairs to the Moon View Suite, Fjord fidgeting with the delicate silver key as they climbed.  Caduceus put a hand on Fjord’s shoulder as they reached the landing on the third floor.

“There is nothing to be embarrassed about,” Caduceus assured him.  “Her attitude comes from her own discomfort, but there is nothing happening here that is shameful or wrong.”

“I know,” Fjord sighed.  “Here, I believe this is our room.”

The door was smooth white wood, with an inlaid silver crescent moon.  All the doors on this floor seemed to have different symbols on them, and Caduceus assumed this was how they differentiated the rooms while remaining discreet for clientele.  Fjord put his bag down and unlocked the door, holding it open for Caduceus, who had to duck slightly to make it through the frame.

It was possibly the nicest rented room that Caduceus had ever stayed in, and it reminded him in many ways of rooms he had seen in The Lavish Chateau.  The suite had three rooms, each separated by silk curtains rather than doors.  Coming into the space was what looked like a lounge, with comfortable chairs, a fireplace, and a cozy looking rug.  It was comfortable, warm, and roomy enough that Caduceus was certain he had stayed in inns smaller than it.

Beyond the curtains was a bedroom, slightly smaller than the room before it, which had a large windowed door, and balcony that looked out over a garden.  The bed was gigantic, Caduceus had never seen so much silk and pillows in one place.  He would actually fit in it, and have room to spare.  The bed had four posts, framed with curtains that could be pulled for additional privacy.  There was also a dresser, and a large mirror in this room, as well as a chest containing things like extra blankets, a bed warmer, and fresh linens.  

On the far end of the bedroom, another door led to a bathing area, with stone tile floors, a large stone bathtub, a washbasin, and a chamber-pot.  There was a shelf with what looked like some of the softest towels Caduceus had ever seen, as well as dozens of bottles of what looked like potions and soaps.  An ornately carved wooden changing screen was also in the room, as well as some thick bristled brushes that he imagined were meant for heavy fur coats and manes.

From the first room, Fjord let out a long whistle.

“This is nice,” Caduceus said with a smile as he came back to the entrance.  “We won’t have to be in the same room all the time, you can relax out here in this lounge.”

“Yeah,” Fjord laughed.  “I could even set up my bedroll out here to give you a little more privacy.”  He gestured around at the room’s size, impressed by how much space there was.  “But man, this place is really something , huh?  They really go all out for folks here.”

“I imagine that there are members of high society who go through mating cycles,” Caduceus mused.  “Pumat said tabaxi go through it as well.”

“It’s orcs, tabaxi, firbolgs, and hobgoblins,” Fjord rattled off.  “Dragonborn, kobolds, and lizardfolk have a similar thing but it’s not quite the same, and kenku brood.”

Caduceus set down his bag and started to get out his tea kettle.  “You seem very well informed.”

“Well when you’re a half-breed orphan and your body starts doing weird things, you start trying to research what your parents might have been, to figure out what is wrong” Fjord sighed.  “Once I figured out I wasn’t dying, I had to figure out what exactly it all meant for me.  No one at the orphanage was going to teach me.”

“That seems like a lot of pressure to put on a child,” Caduceus mused.

“Well you know Orcs, they… uh, they grow up quickly,” Fjord coughed.  “Don’t really get treated like a child when you’re the biggest kid in the place.”

“I guess it’s fortunate that Firbolgs have a fairly regular bloom, once a year,” said Caduceus as he conjured some water for tea and put his kettle over the fire.  “Becomes easy to plan for and predict.  I imagine not all species are like that.”

“Yeah full Orcs are, uh, a lot different,” Fjord replied, but he did not elaborate further, and Caduceus took this to mean that this part of the conversation was over.

While the water boiled, Caduceus walked around the apartment, looking at the lavish furnishings, the colorful draperies, and the stunning view out of the window.  The garden was three stories down, and seemed to be primarily rose bushes and a small fountain, though there seemed to be a nice bench under a flowering tree as well.  Fjord quietly unpacked his things, setting up an area in the lounge with his bedroll, a throw blanket and a few fluffy pillows he had stolen off the chairs.  When Caduceus joined him again, Fjord had made himself a comfortable place to sleep near the fire.  

They carefully removed Caduceus’ kettle from the fire, and Caduceus pulled out some of the tea he kept in his bag.

“I have to admit,” Fjord said as he watched Caduceus spoon the dried flowers into the hot water.  “You’re very calm about all this.”

“I was lucky to have a family that raised me to understand my body,” Caduceus admitted.  “I thought that was the norm, but my time away from home has shown me otherwise.”

“Yeah it’s, uh, not exactly a common topic of conversation,” laughed Fjord.  “I know you said it was a… a small house, but I guess I didn’t really think about what that meant in terms of… teaching kids about this stuff.”

“Kids are very clever,” Caduceus said with a smile, “They will teach themselves if their parents do not.  My parents wanted to ensure we were taught the truth.”

They drank tea in silence for a bit, and Caduceus took in the subtle smell of the brew alongside the crackling sounds of the fireplace.  He had heard that a bloom heightened the senses, and he was surprised to find how peaceful it made him feel.  It did not feel that different than communing with the Wildmother, and that had always felt like coming home.  It was pleasant.

Fjord broke the quiet with another cough.  “You must be pretty close to starting.”

“What makes you say that?”

He flushed, and then thumbed at his nose.

“Oh, I didn’t think you could smell my musk,” Caduceus admitted.

“My nose is a little more... sensitive than some folks,” Fjord answered.

“I hope I don’t smell terrible.”

“N-no it’s… I couldn’t really place the smell before,” Fjord said, his flush growing darker.  “But now that I’ve had some time with it, it reminds me of… freshly turned soil.  It’s… nice.”

“Thank you Fjord,” Caduceus said warmly.  “Though I suppose if my scent is getting stronger then I really must be close.  Perhaps I should draw a bath and relax for a bit.”

“Y-yeah that’s a good idea,” Fjord agreed, getting to his feet.  “And I’ll head down to the lobby and… bring back something to eat.  They’ve gotta have like… a cheese plate or something, this is a fancy establishment.”

Caduceus stood, and took Fjord’s hand before he could leave.

“Would you… mind if I tried something?” he said quietly.

“What is it Duces?”

“I… think I would like to kiss you,” Caduceus answered.  “I’ve never done it.  And I’ve heard that it… can feel nice.  When in bloom.”

Fjord looked at him as though he was both terrified and delighted.  He swallowed down his panic before responding.  “Y-you’ve never kissed before either?”

“I’ve kissed my mother and my siblings,” Caduceus answered.

“That is not the same.”  His tone was harsh, but he laughed, and Caduceus laughed as well.  “That’s a lot of pressure to put on a guy, Ducey!” Fjord cried.  “Gods, being your first kiss and your first lay?”

“Only if you’re comfortable with that,” came the reply.  “So… may I?  Red or Green?”

“Yes, green, absolutely,” Fjord answered.  “Whatever makes you feel comfortable I-”

Caduceus pressed his lips to Fjord, and felt something opening up inside him, like a flower unfurling for sunlight in the early hours of the morning.  He felt warm, and giddy.  This was nice.  This was something he had never felt before.  He didn’t know much about romantic kissing beyond what he had heard from Jester’s books, but if it felt like this he understood why they were so eager to do it.  It only lasted for a second, and he pulled back to see that Fjord had closed his eyes, and was blushing harder than ever.

“How was that?” Caduceus asked.

Fjord blinked his eyes open, the ruddy color on his face growing darker with every second.

“D-did it feel… nice?” Fjord stammered.

“I think so,” Caduceus answered.  “Did it feel nice for you?”

“Y-yeah I… That was really your first kiss?” Fjord asked.  Caduceus nodded.  “It was good, it was-” he cleared his throat once again.  “Better than my first kiss, if I’m being honest.”

“I think I could use more practice with it,” mused Caduceus.  “I felt… something.  And I would like to feel it again.”

“W-well we can try again later,” replied Fjord, “But for now, you should get into the bath and start relaxing.  We’ll talk more about… kissing… after that.”

With that, Fjord hurried out of the room, leaving Caduceus alone to prep his bath.

Chapter Text

Caduceus returned to the bathing room and began to look around more closely at the various items available to him.  He was used to having to create water with magic or bring it up in buckets when wanting to take a bath, but this room had a beautiful blue glass decanter sitting on a shelf that Caduceus quickly identified as one that could pour water indefinitely.  One would simply need to take the stopper out and pour, and all the water he would need would be waiting for him.

The stone bathtub also had a small depression in the side that the decanter would rest into nicely, and an enchantment etched into the rim of the tub that could heat or cool the water to the temperature he desired.  There was a small drain at the bottom, and Caduceus noted it opened up into a little chamber with what looked like a cut gemstone inside - probably meant to destroy with magic whatever came down the drain.

There were several bathing potions in tiny glass bottles whose labels were so small he could barely read them, but most appeared to be the type one added to the water to create various smells or sensations.  They came in many colors and viscosities, and Caduceus had to admit he didn’t know what most of them were.  He unstoppered a few to smell them and settled on what seemed like a vial of lavender scented oil before he returned the rest to the shelf and retrieved the blue glass decanter.  Undoing the stopper, he began to pour the water into the basin - far more water seemed to come out of it than could ever fit inside.

Once he had set the vessel down into its place on the edge of the tub, Caduceus busied himself with removing his clothes.  He was lightly dressed today, knowing that he would not be traveling or fighting - a loose, billowy shirt made of a breathable cotton, a silk sash around his waist, and comfortable harem style pants that hung loose on his frame and gathered around his ankles.  He worked the knot in the sash loose, and once that was free he untucked and shrugged off his shirt.  

Now that he was touching his body he could clearly feel the way that sweat was clinging to his fur, the feverish heat of the bloom radiating off him.  He loosened the ties of his pants, and as he pulled them open he found that the flared, dusty pink tip of his penis was already starting to poke it’s way out of it’s furry sheath - a sure sign that his body was preparing to bloom.  He carefully avoided touching the sensitive bud as he finished undressing.  He was grateful that he never bothered to wear smallclothes, as they easily would have caused discomfort and overstimulation.

He folded his clothes and hung them over the wooden changing screen, activated the warming charm on the tub, and drizzled a few drops of the lavender oil into the water before taking a deep breath and stepping into the tub.  The water was the perfect temperature, and with a sigh he lowered himself into the bath.

The sensation of water surrounding him as he slipped in felt heavenly, a caress on every part of him that felt comforting and safe.  The basin was large enough that he could submerge most of his body without issue, leaving only his head and shoulders above the water.  He leaned back against the edge of the tub, his long pink hair cascading over, and let himself relax, feeling tension drain out of him as he breathed in the calming smell of lavender.

Bath time was always a stressful day in the Clay household when he was a child.  He would have much rather remained caked in mud, leaves tangled in his hair and berry juice staining his fur, than put his head under water.  He remembered his mother trying to scrub his white fur clean of deep soil and grass stains as he fought with all his might to resist.  He was always so resistant to baths, much to his mother’s dismay.

But he was much older now, and understood the importance of being clean.  Being one with nature, covered in mud and leaves and berries, was a fine way to be, but there was something to be said of the reverence and honor of cleansing the body as a form of worship.  After all, his body was part of nature as well, and he had promised the Wildmother that he would care for Her creations.

And he had grown to appreciate water a little more in his travels.  He certainly had been spending much more time in it, with their time on the ocean.  He could see what Fjord was so enamored with - there was beauty and calm in being submerged, floating weightless and carried lovingly by the Mother’s currents.

Thoughts drifting to Fjord, Caduceus let out a long sigh.

The kiss had been wonderful, albeit brief.

His first kiss was not something he had dwelled on or thought about before this, but now that it had happened he felt the gravity of why others put so much weight on it.  It felt sacred in his mind, like a moment crystallized in amber. There was a fluttering spark inside him that lit as soon as his lips touched Fjord’s, and Caduceus loved the way it felt.  Like lightning bugs in his belly, warm and delicate, wings beating furiously.  And the sight of Fjord immediately after, eyes closed and skin flushed, was enough to make his heart skip a beat.

He had not thought of Fjord in this way before.  In a romantic sense.  He had seen the others, floundering in their romantic tensions that held the Nein on a constant razor edge, and had never wondered how it felt to be a part of that.  He was content, content to be friends, content to be close to these people and have their support.  But Fjord...  There was a sweet gentleness to him that felt unlike anything Caduceus had ever experienced, but he had never considered it love.  He loved all the Nein, and while the shape of the love he felt for Fjord felt different, he wasn't sure if it was that so-called spark that so often was mentioned in Jester’s books.  It had felt natural to kiss him, and it felt natural to want to keep kissing him, but in the same way it felt natural to be friends with him.

In truth, the request for a kiss was spontaneous and perhaps even selfish, and yet… Fjord had agreed.

Fjord was so kind, so thoughtful in his desire to make sure Caduceus felt safe during this time… He knew it was partially a protective thing.  The two of them had a strong bond, and Fjord clearly had struggled with similar things in the past.  He did not want to see a friend go through the pain he had gone through.  But at the same time there was no denying that this was a huge ask for anyone, even a very close friend.  Caduceus had learned that sex was something people of the Empire coveted in quiet whispers and fervent glances.  And yet here they were, Fjord offering to be intimate in a way Caduceus hadn’t even dreamed of.

They had not said it, they had both been very careful in their wording when they spoke, not wanting to put pressure on each other to make this into something more, but he knew this was something far more than “helping a friend”.  And to accept could be seen as so much more than “asking for help”.

This felt like something one would do if they were in love with someone.

At that, a pleasant shiver rolled down Caduceus’ spine, as if his body suddenly adored the very idea of being loved.  Not romance, that nebulous concept he didn't understand, but the attention and care being loved offered him.  Caduceus felt a tightening in his belly, a pleasant tension that seemed to coil low and hot, and another shiver passed over him.  His heart beat became heavy and strong, and Caduceus could feel the blood pumping through every inch of him.

Especially his loins.

This was natural , he reminded himself.  Though it was new, it was not unexpected.  These feelings were driven by instinct and nature, beyond his normal understanding of his body.  He did not have much experience with arousal, but he knew that it was nothing to be afraid of.  This was a time to experiment, to see a side of himself he did not normally get to.  This was a time to bloom .

Closing his eyes, Caduceus slipped his hands under the water and came to find his cock had extended even further out of its sheath, throbbing pleasantly in the warm heat of the charmed bath.  Normally he would have to stimulate himself to get an erection like this, but he supposed this was the power the bloom had over him.  Carefully wrapping a hand around it, he stroked slowly, helping it extend the remaining amount.  

It was long, slender for now but it would thicken, and curved upward slightly, mottled pink and grey skin soft and delicate due to being so often tucked away inside him.  The final inch was always the most difficult part for him - the knot at the base of his cock was small now, but it was so sensitive that he rarely had the composure to fully expose it to the open air.  But this time was different.  This time he could feel the rounded bulb come out easily, and he shuddered as his fingers brushed against it.

The smell of the lavender, the warmth of the water, it suddenly became like a heavy blanket, wrapping Caduceus in a sense of comfort he hadn’t known he longed for.  He sunk down into it, keeping his chin just above the water as his knees rode up to accommodate him.  A few quick jerks of his hand and he could feel his knot throb - it would slowly swell larger over the course of the bloom, his body preparing to lock him to a mate to breed.  He would be unable to retract it back into its sheath until this was all over.  His eyes rolled back into his head as he stroked again, letting the pressure and friction of his hand play against the silky smooth texture of his cock and the enveloping warmth of the water.

And yet…

Caduceus had touched himself before, but he didn’t have a lot of experience with it.  Sexual pleasure was an afterthought, something only engaged in when nothing else had worked.  He knew, generally, what felt good, but he hadn’t honed the skill, so to speak.  And as he stroked his member he felt hot pressure building in his gut - the want, the need for release, but the lack of skill to get himself there.  His hands were not fast enough, not firm enough, not sure enough, he felt fuzzy headed and slow.  He felt like he could be at this for hours, trying to persuade his body to let go, teetering on a knife’s edge.

Perhaps imagining something pleasant?  He thought back to the kiss he had just experienced, to the spark it set aflame inside him, and stroked once more.  That did something, though he could not put his finger on what.  Another shudder went over him, and Caduceus heard a soft groan escape his lips.  He tried to put this in the context he had learned from Jester's books...  Kissing Fjord.  Touching Fjord.  Holding Fjord…  His thoughts had never gone down this path before, but they were growing fast, erratic, and heavy.  Would Fjord’s hand feel better than his own?  Fjord’s mouth ? Fjord’s-

At that, he heard the sound of the lock on the door to the suite click open.

He stilled, his heart pounding so loud in his ears it sounded like thunder.  Fjord had returned.  He could hear him walking around the wooden floor of the apartment, his boots heavy with steps that paced back and forth, nervous and quiet.  There were no other sounds, and Fjord knew where Caduceus was.  He could probably hear the splash of the water, the way Caduceus’ breath was heavy on the air… would he put the picture together in his mind?

Caduceus was not ashamed of Fjord hearing him, this is what they were here for after all, but he could not bring himself to resume his strokes.  Something had come over him, and he seemed utterly transfixed by the small sounds coming from the other room.  The sounds of Fjord moving, the smell of the lavender, the feeling of the warm water on his skin… he had lost the momentum, but his cock was still throbbing and he simply couldn’t will himself to do anything.

His body knew what it had to do, but his mind… his mind was still catching up.

Perhaps he needed help.

“Fjord?” Caduceus called, his voice winded.

“You alright Duces?” Fjord called back from the lounge, and Caduceus could hear the concern in his voice.

“I… it’s started,” was all he could gasp.  Fjord said nothing, but he could hear shuffling in the room as the half orc set something down and began to move towards the bathing room.

“You okay in there?” Fjord asked, voice closer now, but not stepping past the silk curtains.

“I’m fine I’m…” Caduceus took a deep breath.  “My body is getting ahead of the rest of me, I think.”

“Go ahead and finish up in there,” Fjord replied.  “I’ll ready the bed for you.”

Caduceus eased himself up from the water and reached for a towel from the rack.  Fjord had been right - his legs felt weak like a newborn calf.  He stepped carefully out of the tub, and felt his cock hang heavy and hot between his legs - an entirely new sensation for him, it rarely was out of his sheath this long.  His head was spinning, and the beating of his heart seemed so loud , so omnipresent that he could hardly believe Fjord didn’t hear it too.  His hands began to shake, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to dry off and get dressed in this state.  Grasping the towel, he wrapped it around his waist, and made his way shakily towards the bedroom.

Fjord was busy stripping the blankets and sheets from the bed, tossing excess pillows aside when he heard Caduceus’ footsteps.  The firbolg emerged, flushed and dripping, panting for breath.  There was a long pause as they looked each other over, and then finally Fjord spoke.

“No clothes?” he asked with a nervous smile, a slight blush creeping over him.

“Can’t…” Caduceus gasped.  “My genitals are engorged.”

Fjord choked out something between a cough and a laugh.  “Come over here.”

“Thank you,” Caduceus answered, working his way across the room.  Walking with his newly exposed cock brushing against his leg was difficult - Fjord was quick to hurry to his side, take his hand and help him over to the bed.

“You know, most folks would just say they have a boner,” Fjord chuckled, making eye contact as he eased Caduceus down onto the bed.

“Oh, is that what that means,” Caduceus winced, laying back as Fjord helped lift his long gangly legs onto the mattress.  The bed was so soft, soft like downy baby fur, like overgrown grass, like a warm hazy cloud.  It felt so wonderful, it felt so much.   “I had always wondered.  Such an odd phrase...”

It became clear as he lay down that his erection was sizable, tenting the towel he had wrapped around his waist, but he was suddenly so overwhelmed with the sensation of everything he felt paralyzed by it.  The water clinging to his fur, the smell of lavender still warm and heavy around him, the soft pillowy bed...  He felt himself staring into Fjord’s eyes, his lovely, golden eyes...

“Duces?” Fjord whispered, brushing some wet hair out of Caduceus’ face.

Caduceus answered, his voice husky and low.  “It came on very suddenly, I didn’t realize it would happen so fast.”   He tried very hard not to lean into Fjord’s hand as it drew close to his cheek.

“Are you in pain?” Fjord asked softly.

“I don’t… I don’t think so,” Caduceus admitted.  “It’s all… very new, but it isn’t unpleasant.”

Fjord looked over Caduceus’ face, then glanced down at the towel around his waist.  He was fixated on it, and for a moment Caduceus was confused.  They had bathed together before, Fjord had seen… Oh.  Through the haze, Caduceus realized that this may not have been the first time he had been naked near Fjord, but it was the first time he had been aroused.  

The first time he had been unsheathed with him.  With anyone.

“Didn’t realize firbolgs got so big,” he muttered, and Caduceus huffed a few wheezy laughs as response.  “You need me to leave you alone so you can…”

“Fjord…” Caduceus reached out and grabbed at Fjord’s arm, pulling him closer to the bed.  “Please I … I’m…”

“Shhhh,” soothed Fjord, tucking another strand of hair behind Caduceus’ ear.  “It’s okay.  Your head will clear for a bit once you get off.”

“Help me,” gasped Caduceus.  “Please, help me, there’s so much…  It’s so much... ”

A wave of realization passed over Fjord’s face, his worried features softening into something more empathetic than afraid.

“What do you need, Caduceus?”

“I-I think I… I don’t know,” he stammered, soft and breathy.  “I don’t know, p-please…”

Fjord slowly reached to the towel, and unwrapped it from Caduceus’ waist.  The moment his cock was free of the fabric it stood hard and erect, still glistening from the water, and Caduceus moaned, feeling his legs slide involuntarily against the sheets as he tried to buck his hips upwards toward the pressure and warmth the towel had offered.  With a whimper, he glanced down his long body and saw it, flushed and beading precome, Fjord’s hand hovering just far enough away to seem like torture.

“Is it okay if I touch you, Caduceus?”

Caduceus nodded frantically, closing his eyes, but Fjord didn’t move.

“Red or green Caduceus.”

It took a moment for Caduceus to even remember what those words meant, but once he did there was only one answer.  “Green,” he choked out, and finally he felt a warm, firm hand close around his cock.

The sensation of a hand that was not his own, moving, stroking, was electric.  Caduceus felt like the breath had been stolen right from his lungs, and his back arched, pushing himself into Fjord’s grasp.

“Easy there big fella,” Fjord soothed.  Another stroke, with a small twist at the head, and Caduceus felt tears in his eyes.  “I’ve got you.”

The warm sensation of being grasped, of his dribbling spend being smeared against Fjord’s hand - Caduceus’ sensation was focused down to that single point of contact.  The distractions, the noise, it all fell away, the way that the world dropped away when the Mother spoke to him.  Sublime.  This one place, where the two of them connected, was the only thing left in the universe.

“F-fjord,” Caduceus breathed... or maybe it was all in his head, he was no longer sure where the edges of him started and stopped.

“Caduceus,” Fjord answered softly, and Mother help him, was his voice always so smooth?  “Caduceus you need to let go.  You’ll feel a lot better once you cum.”

He didn’t want to.  He didn’t want this moment to stop, this sacred holy thing that felt like every nerve was sparking with magic, but Fjord’s wrist twisted once more, and Caduceus found himself gasping, twitching, and with a sudden clench in his belly, releasing, his spend dripping hot against his body as Fjord came to a still.

Things were fuzzy, hazy in the way that a summer sunset was, and he felt just as warm, just as vibrant.  Caduceus vaguely was aware that Fjord was no longer touching him, that he was moving on the edge of his vision, but he neither had the focus nor the strength to follow him.  Another shudder, this one warm and pleasant, coursed through him, and Caduceus breathed in deep the smell of lavender, of musk, of sex.

Suddenly something cool was being placed on his forehead, and something else was carefully wiping him down, cleaning him up.  Caduceus brought his eyes back into focus, and saw Fjord, focused on the task at hand.

“That… that was wonderful,” Caduceus sighed, enjoying the way Fjord carefully patted down his still-wet fur.  “You’re very good at that.”

“You’ll forgive me if I don’t take the praise of a man who just got his first handjob,” Fjord chuckled.  “I feel like you might be slightly biased.”

“I can see why everyone is so obsessed with this,” Caduceus hummed, stretching out on the soft bed as he regained a sense of where the boundaries of his limbs were again.  “Very enjoyable.”

Fjord paused his cleaning.  “Is it… isn’t it supposed to go back in now?”

Caduceus shook his head, putting a hand to his forehead to find the damp washcloth Fjord had put there.  “Normally yes, but during a bloom it will stay swollen for awhile.  It won’t fully retract until this all passes.”

“Gotcha,” Fjord answered, clearing his throat once more.  “Hopefully it’ll be less… overwhelming.  For a bit at least.”

“Thank you , Fjord.”

“I just did what you asked me to,” Fjord answered, that lovely ruddy blush creeping back across his green skin.  He had seemed so sure, so confident in the moment Caduceus had needed him, but now that it had passed he was slipping back into that gentle humility and shyness that he more often wore.  “Nothing special about what I did.”

“You’re very handsome,” Caduceus said, and that got a small smile from Fjord.  “That has to count for something.”

“That is the post-nut delirium setting in,” Fjord joked, finishing up his work and pulling a clean, white sheet up over Caduceus’ waist.  “Go ahead and get a quick nap in, I’ll finish cleaning up the bathroom.”

Caduceus was going to say that he wasn’t tired, that he had never felt more awake and alive than he did in this moment…

And then he was fast asleep.

Chapter Text

The sound of birds and the gentle smell of roses.

Those are the first things Caduceus noticed when he found himself stirring in the luxurious sheets of his bed.  He was curled up on his side, the sheets now pulled up around his shoulders, rubbing his face against the pillow.  Once his eyes were open, he could see that he was facing the interior of the room, and the balcony door was open, letting in an afternoon’s spring breeze. He could hear a soft, calm voice coming from outside.

“He’s fine Jester.  We’re both fine.  He’s sleeping right now.  Tell Caleb we paid for three nights, but it could be more.  See you later.”

With a sigh and a stretch, Caduceus rolled onto his back and sunk down into the bed a little more.  They hadn’t even been gone a day, but Jester was worried about them.  Or morbidly curious, honestly it could go either way.  Still, it was nice to know that she and the others cared so much.  

It felt wonderful to be cared for.

Sitting up slightly, Caduceus looked around the room.  Fjord had moved one of the chairs from the lounge into the bedroom, and he had placed the food he had gotten from the kitchens on the dresser top - a basket of fruit, a wedge of cheese, and some small loaves of bread.  Caduceus could smell all of them, even from the other side of the room, and they all were fragrant - wonderful and fresh.

He was beginning to see why a bloom was so revered among his people.  This beautiful connection he was feeling to his body and to the world around him, his senses reaching out and grasping at things he may not have noticed otherwise… that was truly an awe-inspiring thing.

Also the sexual aspect seemed to be rather enjoyable.

Shifting in the sheets he could feel that his cock was still exposed, but there was no urgent ache as there had been earlier.  It was still sensitive, but the frenzied overwhelming sensation had subsided for now, thanks to Fjord’s careful hand.

Just as soon as he thought of Fjord, the half orc returned to the room from the balcony.  He was holding a bright red apple that he had been cutting slices off of to eat, one of which was currently poised on the edge of his knife.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Fjord said softly.  “Did you sleep alright?”

“Honestly, it was some of the best sleep I’ve had in days,” Caduceus admitted, “I knew that sleeplessness was a sign that a bloom was approaching, but I just didn’t put it together.”

“It’s nice that your body gives you a little heads up,” Fjord chuckled, “Though I guess those warnings are useless if you ignore them.”

He walked over to the side of the bed, and offered Caduceus the slice of the apple he had cut, which Caduceus took with a smile.

“I can get you some bread or cheese if you’d like,” Fjord continued, gesturing to the spread of food he had put on the dresser.  “Wasn’t sure what you’d be craving.”

“Oh, are cravings a thing I should expect?” Caduceus asked, popping the apple slice into his mouth - was this the sweetest, crispiest apple he had ever tasted, or was that just the bloom?

“I get them,” Fjord shrugged, “Wasn’t sure if they were a firbolg thing too.”

Caduceus wanted to ask Fjord so many questions about his experiences, but felt like every one was too invasive, too personal.  So he settled on something more neutral.

“I’m very grateful you’re here to help me,” he said quietly, “That could have been a very stressful experience if… if I hadn’t known you were there.”

Fjord blushed slightly and made his way over to the chair he had brought in.

“So when you said inexperienced I didn’t realize that included… solo activities,” Fjord coughed, settling down in the chair.

“Oh,” Caduceus said, pausing to think about what Fjord meant.  “I’m not completely inexperienced, I have explored my body before.  But it’s not something I do very often.  It’s just not something that I think about, usually.”

“Yeah I was shocked when you said you were going into it,” admitted Fjord.  “Didn’t even realize you were capable of… intimacy like that.  You always struck me as kind of… above those things.”

“I’m not a celibate monk,” Caduceus teased.  “My body is just not as prone to arousal without manual stimulation.”

“Guess I just assumed it was a religious thing,” Fjord admitted.

“Oh, sex is a natural part of life,” Caduceus answered.  “The Wildmother is just as much about sex as She is the trees and earth.  She would never ask Her followers to give up such an essential part of Herself.  If it's something the body longs for, She would give Her blessing.”

Fjord nodded, but did not really seem to have an answer for that.  He instead reached over and grabbed another apple, and a loaf of bread, and tossed them to Caduceus one at a time.

“Here, you told me to make sure you eat,” Fjord said.  “Best to do it while your head is clear.”

Caduceus enjoyed the cool fruit and warm bread in silence as Fjord finished off the last of his own apple.  They were delicious of course, the apple just as sweet as the slice Fjord had given him, crisp and juicy against his teeth.  The bread was nutty, tangy with a delightfully crunchy crust and soft inside.  As he ate he felt ravenous .  He hadn’t realized how hungry he really was, but it made sense - he had done some rather strenuous exercise before falling asleep.

“So orcs get cravings, huh?” Caduceus asked as he pulled another chunk of bread off the loaf - the crackling sound of the crust pulling apart was almost as delightful as the taste.

“Orc mating cycles are all based on calorie intake,” Fjord explained dryly, reaching for a loaf of his own.  “Males go into rut when they have a consistent intake of food for a long enough period, and then the females respond with a reactionary heat that makes them want to bulk up and mate.  Typically in the fall.”

Caduceus noted Fjord’s choice of words carefully.  He already knew Fjord was a Self-Made Man, but he imagined that it was strange for Fjord to talk about anatomy and social structure without drawing attention to his own relationship with it.  Fjord didn’t hate his body, in fact since coming to the Wildmother Fjord had seemed to grow quite comfortable with himself, but he was still learning how to talk about gender without getting tripped up.  Caduceus understood to a degree - gender, as he understood it, was an elaborate ritual that people performed in an attempt to fit in, and in many places those who did not fit were made to fit.  

Fjord had done that for himself, and it had been hard and desperate work his whole life.

“So your heats are not that different than my bloom after all,” Caduceus replied.  “When conditions are met and a suitable mate is nearby, the body undergoes the change in preparation to breed.”

“There are some differences,” Fjord insisted, “And they can get triggered all year, it’s just fall is harvest time so there’s usually more food to go around.”

“That makes sense.”  Caduceus took another bite of bread.  As he chewed, a thought crossed his mind.  “Your heat won’t trigger by being near me, will it?”

“No I… things mellow out for orcs around 25 unless they’re actively pursuing a mate,” Fjord admitted.  “I haven’t had a heat in two years.  Plus I always started in late summer, when the fishing was best.  And my genes aren’t as reactive since I’m only half orc.  I shouldn’t have anything to worry about.”

Caduceus listened to Fjord’s reasoning before nodding in agreement.  “Alright then. As long as I’m not putting you in a bad situation.”

Fjord scoffed.  “It’s fine, I’m not worried about it at all.  We’re here to worry about you.”

“I hope you’re not too worried about me,” Caduceus said.  “Things seem to be going well so far.”

“I am concerned about the…  the whole… engorged did you call it?” Fjord said.  “Are you going to be able to put clothes on?”

“Nudity during a bloom is pretty common.  Cuts down on the chaffing,” Caduceus admitted. “I have some long nightshirts I can wear if my genitals make you uncomfortable.”

“I think I demonstrated that I am not uncomfortable about your...” Fjord’s thoughts drifted off before he snapped back into the conversation..  “I’d just never… seen it before.  I guess on some level I knew firbolgs had different parts, but I never realized how different it was.”

“In a way, my anatomy is more like yours than it is to, say, a human with a penis,” Caduceus explained.  “External genitals are a terribly inefficient design.  Much more practical to keep them inside, where they aren’t constantly vulnerable to trauma.”

At that Fjord chuckled, and Caduceus smiled as well.

“Can I get you anything?” Fjord asked.

“If you would grab my bag for me, I have something I’d like to do before everything starts up again.”

Fjord nodded, and went to fetch Caduceus’ pack from the lounge.  Bringing it over to the bed, Caduceus took the soft worn leather in his hands, and began searching through pockets until he found a cloth bundle tied with twine.  Undoing the knot, he unrolled the fabric to reveal several dried sprigs of different plants - leaves, flowers, and even some roots.

“What is this?” Fjord asked, looking over the bundle.

“A small slice of home,” Caduceus answered, carefully selecting a few of the plants.  “Some old home remedies made from things from the garden back in the grove.”

“You've carried those all this time?”

“A Clay never travels without them,” Caduceus sighed.  “There is value in magic, but there is also magic in the earth.  Why spend a spell healing nausea when camomile will do the same?  Aunt Corrin always had a few of these premade and waiting in the cabinet, made sure my siblings always had one when they traveled, so when I left I brought one for myself.”

“They’re medicinal then?” Fjord asked, watching Caduceus begin to chew one of the plants he had chosen.

“Yes, but they’re also comforting,” Caduceus admitted.  “All of this… it does make me feel rather homesick.”

So much thought recently devoted to his family, how they had raised him and how he had grown up… He had watched Colton and Calliope go through this, their mother patiently watching over them, and a part of him longed for that - the experience of undergoing the passage to this next stage of life with his family .  It would be different than what he had now, of course.  The help Fjord offered was obviously very different than the type a member of his family would give.  At home he would be left alone during the moments when the bloom was at its strongest, for privacy.  But moments like this, when he was calm and clear headed, his family would have taken care of him.  It would be nice after such a taxing experience to have his mother there to kiss his forehead and brush his fur, his siblings around to cook him a meal and bring him fresh blankets, his aunt to mix him herbal teas to soothe his stomach, his father there to talk about what he was feeling, and what it all meant.

Never in all the years he had listened to his mother’s teachings did he think he would be doing this alone.

Then again…

Fjord sat on the edge of the bed and watched Caduceus chew his herbs with soft eyes.  He wasn’t really alone in this, was he?  The Wildmother had brought him and Fjord together, and while Fjord was not a firbolg, he had experience with mating cycles and other things that were proving useful.  It wasn’t the experienced guidance of his family, but it was support, and it was appreciated.  And Caduceus knew that there was no such thing as coincidence - Fjord had grown closer to Caduceus over the past few months, they had a bond through their shared worship.

Even though Caduceus was far from home, the Wildmother did Her best to ensure that Caduceus was not alone for this.  And for that he was very grateful.

After swallowing his herbs, Caduceus laid back in the bed, letting his head rest softly on the pillow.

They spent the afternoon in quiet conversation, discussing the many threads that were weaving through the Mighty Nein, where their travels might take them next.  It was warm and pleasant, and Caduceus enjoyed listening to Fjord talk at length about whatever was on his mind - their current mission, his life at sea, his training with Beau.  His voice was soft, comforting, and Caduceus felt that he could be forgiven if he seemed a little too rapt with attention to Fjord's words - was it the bloom that made them feel so soothing?  

No, he would be happy to listen to Fjord talk any time. 

Chapter Text

Before he knew it, the sun had set.  Caduceus had been so caught up in conversation with Fjord that it was only when his friend got up to shut the balcony door that he realized it was night.

“Gods is it already that late?” Fjord sighed, glancing at the moons as he closed the glass door.  “Seems like this day just flew by.”

Caduceus nodded.  It was dark, but he wasn’t tired, still feeling rested from his afternoon nap.  And he wasn’t hungry either, not with all the snacking on fruit and cheese they had been doing.  But there was something gnawing deep in his belly, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was.  He watched Fjord fish some matches out of his pocket, and light a few candles around the room.

“I’m gonna go tend the fireplace,” Fjord said, gesturing to the other room.  “Should I put on some tea?”

“That would be very nice, let me see who I have,” Caduceus answered, digging into his bag for one of his many mixes.  He pulled out a small glass bottle filled with dried leaves, the label faded and yellowed.  “Here.  The Highburough family.  Sort of a peppermint, soothes the stomach.”

Fjord nodded as he took the bottle.  “Is your stomach upset?”

“No, but I do feel odd,” Caduceus admitted.  “It’s probably starting again.”

“Please let me know if you need help,” Fjord replied.

Caduceus watched as Fjord walked to the silk curtains separating the two rooms, and the half orc glanced back at him once before ducking under them and heading to the fireplace.

With a hum Caduceus slipped down into the sheets again.  Putting a hand to his throat, he felt his pulse and temperature - fast and high, but not as bad as it had been before.  He felt wide awake, like he was ready to jump out of bed and race a Moorbounder.  Letting his hands go lower, he carefully experimented with touching his body in new ways - his chest, his belly, his thighs.

There was something pleasant about letting his fingers drift over himself, exploring but not really staying in one place so long as to get comfortable.  The soft, short fur of his body responded well to touch, and he delighted in the way going against the natural grain would send a shiver down his spine.  He also enjoyed the sensation of touching his more dense and bristly belly fur, tracing the seam of where it traveled down his chest to his loins.

He could feel the dull ache in his cock that he knew was arousal, but it still felt muted and far away.  Like it was taking it’s time, letting him warm up.  He knew that these encounters would get more intense and frequent in the coming hours as he moved into the height of his bloom, but it was nice just for now to feel it thrumming through his veins, quiet and warm.

Fjord returned with two cups of hot tea.  Caduceus’ ears perked up, and pulled his hands out from under the blankets.  He took the offered cup gratefully, which made Fjord chuckle.

“Getting started then?” he laughed.

“Just figuring out what feels nice,” Caduceus replied, sitting up and taking a long sip.  “Oh this is lovely, Fjord, you’re getting much better at this.”

“I mean with how often we drink the stuff I would hope I was,” Fjord laughed, and again, that beautiful ruddy blush painted his cheeks.  “A guy over-steeps his tea once and then that’s all anyone wants to talk about.”

He was so beautiful.

Caduceus could feel that fluttering in his belly again, those fireflies sending sparks through his whole body.  It felt so aching, so familiar, and so wonderfully safe, just like the pleasant burn of warm tea filling his belly with every swallow.  It would be so much, to feel like this all the time, but a small part of him wished he could bottle it and save it for another day, to call on it when he was feeling nostalgic for the comfort this experience had brought him.

Maybe there were other ways to recall it.

“Fjord, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Caduceus began, setting his teacup on the nightstand.  “There was no real need for me to kiss you, but you let me do it anyway.”

“You said you wanted to try it,” Fjord answered, coming to sit on the edge of the bed.  “To see if it felt nice.”

“It felt very nice,” Caduceus continued.  “Nicer than I could have ever hoped for, considering my interest before today.  But… I don’t want you to think you have to indulge me just because I am in bloom.”

Fjord glanced at his teacup before answering.  “I wasn’t indulging you,” came his soft answer.  “I told you, I wanted to help.”

“You wanted to kiss me,” was Caduceus’ answer.

Fjord fumbled his teacup, almost dropping it before he caught himself, spilling a little on his shirt.

“Shit!”  He stood up, putting his cup on the dresser and holding out the hot stain from his body.  Caduceus reached toward him, and he stepped away, still blushing.  “I’m okay I’m okay it didn’t burn me,” Fjord stammered.  “I just… I just…”

He didn’t seem to know what to say.

Caduceus glanced back down at the bed, then back at Fjord, feeling his gaze grow soft.  “I’m sorry Fjord, I didn’t mean to make you nervous.”

“I-it’s okay Duces,” Fjord answered, looking him in the eye.  “L-listen.  Feelings get… complicated, during shit like this.  It gets hard to tell what parts are real and what parts are just hormones talking.”

“Oh,” Caduceus replied, unsure just where Fjord was going with this.

“S-so if you want to talk about… feelings,” he continued, nervously glancing at the ceiling.  “Maybe wait.  Until the bloom is over.  So you don’t say something you regret.”

Ah.

“Fjord I-“

"I know you're not... I know you've never really been interested in s-sex or relationships," Fjord continued, "And that's fine, you're amazing just the way you are.  You don't have to change."  He cleared his throat.  “I said I would do this for you as a friend, and I meant it,” he said firmly.  “I don’t want to confuse you or make things harder.  This can just be a thing we do once, and when it’s over we stay just friends.  I’m okay with that.  You don’t have to make me feel like this is something more than that.”

Caduceus could feel his heartbeat thudding in his chest like a wild animal trying to escape as his mind raced to process what it was Fjord was getting at.  Was he worried that Caduceus didn't love him?  Or was it that he was afraid it wasn't the right kind of love?  “Fjord I care about you a lot.”

“And I care about you too,” Fjord answered.  “Which is why… if you have something you think you need to say to me, say it after this is over.  So that you know that it’s real.  And if it isn’t we can pretend this didn’t happen.  For now, let’s just enjoy this for what it is.”

“And what is this?” Caduceus asked, looking Fjord right in his beautiful gold eyes.

“Your first time,” Fjord answered.  “A moment where I want you to feel safe, and cared for, and good.”

There was a look on his face that looked pained, and Caduceus could almost hear Fjord thinking… The way it never was for me.

“I do feel safe,” Caduceus replied, and Fjord smiled in response.

With a shrug, he held out his stained shirt once more.  “I-is it alright if I…?”

“Of course.”

With that, Fjord pulled off his shirt, exposing the spring green expanse of his chest.  Oh, Caduceus felt that wild animal thrash and claw even harder, knocking the wind from his lungs.  He had seen Fjord shirtless many times, but in this context, with the low light and the heavy atmosphere, felt entirely new.  Vulnerable, trusting, intimate.  The firm, defined lines of his pecs were accented by scars - one long down the center of his breastbone, where Caduceus had pressed a diamond once to revive him, and two framing the undersides of them, showing the lengths Fjord had gone to to become the man he was.  His belly was soft, not defined with muscles, but still strong and powerful, and his body was broad, built to do hard work on the open seas.

He was so handsome, so beautiful and green, like new shoots of grass after a long snow.

The shirt was tossed to the chair, and then Fjord moved closer to Caduceus, eyes soft.  He sat next to Caduceus on the bed, a hand hovering on the hem of the blankets.

“What do you want, Caduceus?”

Caduceus could feel the heat rising in his face.  What he wanted was complicated.  He didn't really know... was it to kiss Fjord again?  To lie next to him in bed?  To see where it went from there as they touched each other’s bodies, enjoying the company and warmth?  Yes, yes but also to know.  To know that Fjord understood what it meant to Caduceus to be here, with him, in this sacred and vulnerable time.

“What I need is to know that you’re really comfortable with this,” Caduceus answered.

“Duces I’ve told you-”

“I know, and I believe you,” Caduceus replied, his stomach doing flips.  “And I understand what you’re saying.  Which is why I need to ask you… are you afraid this will change something between us?”

Fjord shook his head.  “No.  No, I trust you to stay my friend.”

“I don’t want you to think of this as a duty you have to do,” Caduceus explained.  “You said you want this to be enjoyable for me, but I want that for you too.  You should get as much out of this as I do.  So what do you need, Fjord?  What can I do to make you comfortable?”

The hand that had been hovering above the blankets finally pulled away, and came to cup Caduceus’ cheek.  Caduceus felt himself leaning into it despite everything - being touched felt so wonderful, even in this small way.

“I am comfortable.  I’m always comfortable with you.”  His thumb strayed over Caduceus’ cheek.  “Can we just… make each other feel good,” Fjord said, and there was a soft sadness to his voice, “And sort out what it all means later?”

“Is that what you want?” Caduceus replied, and Fjord nodded.  “Alright then.  I look forward to that.”  He was relieved to see Fjord smile at that.

“I think you said you wanted to try kissing again?” he said with a chuckle.  “Red or green?”

“Green,” Caduceus breathed, and Fjord leaned into his face to let their lips brush against each other once more.

If the kiss in the morning had felt like sparks, this one felt like a wildfire in Caduceus’ chest.  His experience with kissing was minimal, but Fjord seemed well practiced.  Caduceus delighted in the way Fjord’s slightly chapped lips felt against his own, the way that Fjord’s blunted tusks nudged against his mouth, the way he seemed to breathe Fjord in with each gasp and sigh.  The hand on Caduceus’ cheek drifted down to the pillow, letting Fjord put weight on it as he leaned in more to the kisses, letting them travel from Caduceus’ lips to the corner of his mouth, to his cheek and down to his neck.

“That’s… that’s very nice,” Caduceus breathed, loving the warm pressure on the throbbing pulse in his throat.  He could feel Fjord smile, and that felt wonderful too.  “May I touch you?”

“Green,” Fjord purred into Caduceus’ throat, letting his nose brush against the soft velvet of Caduceus’ ear.

Caduceus let his hands come to Fjord’s side, and he let his fingers softly trail up and down, feeling the hot expanse of green skin, like running his hand through the sun-warmed grass on a verdant hill.

“Can we… Can we get on our sides?” Caduceus asked.  “I’d like to see your face.”

He moved over in the bed to make room for Fjord, pushing the blankets down so that his chest and belly were exposed too, and was relieved to see that Fjord happily climbed into the space he left for him.  They kissed once more, and then Caduceus set his head against the pillow, looking into Fjord’s eyes.  Fjord did the same, and they lay face to face, a few inches apart.

“What feels nice for me to touch?” Caduceus asked.

“I mean, what you’re doing with your hand is nice,” Fjord sighed, and Caduceus stroked his side again.  “Wouldn’t mind if you did that just about anywhere.  Chest would be really good.  What should I do for you?”

Caduceus tucked his chin into his chest.  “I have always wondered what it would feel like to have someone run their fingers through my fur,” he admitted.  “I know brushing feels nice, but I’ve always been curious if a hand would feel… different.”

“Anywhere I shouldn’t touch?” Fjord asked.

“M-maybe stay above the blanket for now,” Caduceus chuckled, though his cock throbbed in objection.

Fjord made an affirming noise, and then carefully let his hands drift down to Caduceus’ chest.  The fur there was thick and long, and the moment he felt Fjord’s fingers thread into it, Caduceus sighed.  It did feel nice, better than a brush.  Fjord’s long claws were able to drag down, like a comb but so much more intimate and careful, and Caduceus delighted in the way the rest of his fur stood on end as he focused in on the sensation.

“Didn’t realize you had such thick fur here,” Fjord hummed, letting his hand drift as it followed the trail downward.  “It’s so fine everywhere else.”

Fjord’s claws traced over his ribs, and into the soft hollow of his belly, and Caduceus felt a primal twinge that he couldn’t quite place - something between the panic of a prey animal and the thrill of knowing with certainty that he could trust Fjord with this vulnerable position.  That Fjord would never hurt him.  He let his hand wander from Fjord’s side, curling around to Fjord’s back so he could pull them closer together, his other hand tracing the scar in the center of Fjord’s chest.  With a huff of breath, Fjord let his head move forward, resting his forehead against Caduceus’.

“Is this okay?” Caduceus whispered, letting his fingers move softly over the scar.

“Y-yeah,” Fjord answered.  “Just thinking about… how I have you to thank for that.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do more to heal it,” Caduceus answered, and Fjord chuckled, his breath hot and warm against Caduceus’ lips.

“Are you kidding?  I’d be dead if you hadn’t done that,” Fjord replied.  “It’s the greatest gift you could ever give me.  I’m grateful to have it.”

“It wasn’t your time,” Caduceus whispered.  Selfishly.

“I trust your authority on that,” Fjord whispered back.  Another green, clawed hand came up to Caduceus' chest.  “Do you like having your nipples touched?”

“Can’t say I’ve tried it,” admitted Caduceus.

“Oh, well let’s see if it’s your cup of tea then, shall we?”

The pad of Fjord’s thumb brushed over Caduceus’ fur, searching for a smooth, soft peak.  Caduceus wasn’t sure what to expect, and then suddenly it felt electric, and he gasped, feeling his entire body trying to curl towards the sensation.

“Red or green?”

“G-green,” Caduceus stammered.  “A-are they always that sensitive?”

“Not for everyone,” Fjord explained, letting a claw circle around the edge, helping the fur part a little easier for access.  Caduceus heard a whine, and realized that it was his, curling up into the air along with the tension he felt from the small movement of Fjord’s hand.  “How you doing?”

“Good, very good,” Caduceus huffed, and Fjord was doing something maddening with each of his hands - gently squeezing his nipple with one and slowly tracing circles into his belly with the other.  Caduceus found himself rolling onto his back, letting his hands drop to his sides as his hips seemed to shift on their own.

“You need help lower down?” Fjord whispered.

“J-just a little guidance,” Caduceus breathed.

Fjord moved closer, pressing his body next to Caduceus while staying on his side.  Pulling his left hand away from teasing Caduceus’ chest, he propped up his own head from the pillow with a cheeky grin.

“Gotta be more specific than that, Ducey,” he teased, and Caduceus flushed hot, one hand gripping the sheets tightly while the other worked to push the blankets down the remaining few inches to expose his cock fully.

The sudden exposure to the cool night air on that sensitive area almost took his breath away, but it did nothing to subdue his erection.  It was amazing how hard he was from just a little kissing and touching.  Caduceus could feel it standing proudly, up and away from his body, begging to be touched.  With a quick glance down he saw the bulb at the base had swollen slightly since last time - no where near a full knot, but well on it’s way.  The head was rosy, flushed, and Caduceus found himself once again drifting into that strange place between his mind and his body, the place where he dropped away from himself and just was.

“You know, you’ve got a real pretty cock,” Fjord hummed, his right hand still slowly tracing circles into Caduceus’ fur, and the firbolg could feel his member throb at the recognition, felt precome bead up easily as if it was called for with a spell.  “Like a nice little treasure, all tucked away inside you this whole time... I’m real lucky to be the one who gets to see it.”

“P-please Fjord,” Caduceus huffed, his hips bucking up into the cold in search of something warmer, softer, closer.  “Your hand…”

“Easy easy,” soothed Fjord, letting his hand drift down, featherlight touches on Caduceus’ intimate skin that made him want to cry.  “Give me yours, we’ll do this together.”

Shaky, he untangled the fingers still grasping the sheets, and moved them towards Fjord’s hand, which carefully wrapped itself around Caduceus’ cock.  He could feel his own hand trembling as he came closer, finally resting his palm over Fjord’s strong grip.  His hands were much larger than Fjord’s, and it was quite easy to envelop his grasp.

“I’m going to start moving,” Fjord said softly.  “Let go of my hand if you need me to stop.”

Caduceus squeezed Fjord’s hand in assurance, and then let his eyes drift shut, focusing in once more on the places where their bodies touched.  Fjord trailed his hand up to the head, gathering slick in his palm to make the motion easier, before slowly sliding down the length of Caduceus’ shaft.

With his eyes closed, Caduceus could hear - the heavy panting of his breath, the soft hums of encouragement Fjord made, the beating of both their hearts, the sound of slick skin moving against slick skin -  and feel everything so much stronger than he could before.  The way the muscles of Fjord’s hand moved as they gently stroked together, the way something seemed to be climbing up inside his belly from deep inside him… 

“Fjord…”

“Caduceus.”  His voice was firm and reassuring, such a stark contrast to the thready breathlessness of Caduceus’ own voice.  “Let go of my hand if you need-”  Caduceus squeezed harder, and Fjord chuckled in response.  “Alright then.”

He felt Fjord shift, leaning into the long curve of Caduceus’ neck to press a soft kiss to the fluttering pulse he found there.  That pulse was throbbing through every inch of him, the beat of his heart mirrored in his throat, his belly, his cock.  Fjord’s pace picked up, still leisurely and slow, but stroking with a little more purpose, and Caduceus moaned in response.

“Real pretty,” Fjord whispered right by Caduceus’ ear, the heat of his breath causing the sensitive ears to twitch in response.  “You like being called pretty, Caduceus?”

“Yes, ” Caduceus sighed, amazed at how still his voice could be when his entire body wanted nothing more than to move.  To move his hips in time with Fjord’s hand, to twist his face to Fjord’s mouth, to press himself into Fjord until they stopped being two separate bodies with separate hearts and started to become one living, breathing thing.  

They were beautiful together.  Beautiful how they fit together.

“You were really pretty when you came for me earlier today,” Fjord rumbled, leaning back from Caduceus’ neck.  Caduceus opened his eyes to see Fjord looking down at him, pupils blown wide and framed with the most elegant golden ring.  “Think you could show me that again?”

The only thing Caduceus could think to do in response was to squeeze Fjord’s hand once more, and Fjord was happy to take that as an agreement.  His pace increased once more, now pumping Caduceus with a speed and pressure that brought his hips up with each stroke.  Fjord was so good at this, so good at touching him it felt like his hands belonged there, and for a moment Caduceus wondered if the Wildmother had made Fjord just for him.  To be with him, here in this moment.  But with a twist of the wrist, Caduceus was falling over the edge again, his body tightening once more as he arched like a drawn bowstring, and with a cry he came, spilling over both of their hands, hot and thick.

It took a moment for his head to clear, to bring himself back to the world, to the room, to the bed.  But when Caduceus came to he found Fjord, still next to him, carefully cleaning Caduceus’ mess off their hands with his tongue, his eyes closed.  His licks were soft and slow, his tongue drawn out nicely between his tusks as it dragged over gray-white fur and emerald skin.  Caduceus shifted slightly, and Fjord’s eyes turned to him.  They shared a moment of silence, and then the half orc smiled sheepishly, kissing the back of Caduceus’ hand.

No, Caduceus thought.  Fjord was not made for me. 

Was I made for Fjord?

They did not speak, though Caduceus wanted to say so many things.  He respected Fjord’s request not to talk about feelings until this all had passed but… today had finally clarified something in Caduceus’ mind, and he hoped Fjord would understand, once this was over.

He knew exactly why he had gone into bloom now, this spring, and never before.

Often his parents had stressed the importance of choosing a companion for a bloom.  If you chose to take a mate, it should be someone you love and trust, but Caduceus had always taken that at the more traditional level.  And for the most part, that had been true.  A compatible mate, that was what had been missing for him.  Someone he wanted to mate with, to feel safe with with.  To love, whatever that meant.  Never before had he gone into bloom because until only recently he had not known Fjord Stone.  But now that he did, there was no doubt: to know Fjord was to love him.

And Caduceus loved him dearly.

Once Fjord was sure that Caduceus was clean and comfortable, he quietly excused himself from the bed.  Caduceus could hear his boots hit the floor - oh Mother, Fjord had kept his pants and boots on through all of that.  He felt so guilty, having Fjord pamper him like this only to do nothing for him in return but… Caduceus wasn’t really sure how to return the favor.

How could he please Fjord when he barely understood his own body?

“You don’t have to leave, you know,” Caduceus offered, watching as Fjord grabbed his tea-stained shirt from the chair and began to blow out the candles he had lit around the room earlier.  Once he was done, Fjord looked back at him fondly through the darkness.  “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

“Just giving you some space to cool off,” he replied.  “You’ll thank me later, you’re gonna be real sweaty tonight.  I’ll just be on the other side of the wall if you need me, don’t worry.  Go to sleep.”

With a nod, Caduceus watched Fjord leave, and then lay back onto the bed with a sigh.

But the thought of sleep was very far from his mind.

Chapter Text

It was hard to find sleep.

Caduceus knew it could be for any number of reasons.  There was a lot to process right now, and it wasn’t unusual for that to result in a sleepless night.  He had experienced several in the days leading up to this.  Still, he knew he should try - this was only the first day of his bloom, and it could go on for several more.

But it was hard.

For one, while the bed was lovely, it was much softer than Caduceus was used to.  At the Xorhaus he often slept on the roof with little more than a blanket and a pillow, when they stayed in an inn he usually ended up on the floor.  Even his bed in Caleb’s tower was a bit firm.  The sensation wasn’t unpleasant, but it was new, and new was a lot right now.  For another, he couldn’t decide if he was too hot or too cold.  Under the blankets he felt sweaty and confined, but without them the air was brisk and chilling on his damp fur.  He rolled over to look at the moonlight streaming into the bedroom through the glass balcony door, wondering if his parents and older siblings were also blooming tonight.  Was the Clay family blossoming, all at once, in the light of the moon?

Thinking of family reminded him that there were things he could take comfort in during this strange time.  Routines and familiar touchstones that he could fall back to, if he needed something that felt like home.  He sat up, and pulled his pack over, digging through the pockets for his incense and censer.  They didn’t take long to find - the incense was kept in a small pocket, and the ceramic censer was wrapped in cloth and kept in a small wooden box - and Caduceus eased his way out of bed, padding over quietly to the spot on the floor where the moonlight was brightest.  Naked as the day he was born, he felt the lunar glow pass over him, and it felt like stepping into a cool river. He lit some of the incense and set it into one of the holes in the censer, and knelt, placing it on the ground.

Closing his eyes, Caduceus focused in on the sound of his breathing, the fragrant smoke curling up into the air around him.  Taking in one long draw of breath, he held it for a moment before releasing, letting the tension in his body go with it as he relaxed into that familiar space.

That space of worship.  The space where he became a part of Her.

In a way it was like a curtain lifting in the darkness - almost as though his eyes were being opened despite the fact that they stayed closed.  The warm and comforting presence of The Mother was all around him, and he listened carefully for Her in the cold silence of the room.  She was everywhere - in the soft chirps of night birds outside the window, in the cold shiver on his damp skin that made his fur stand on end, in the warm embers of the fire Fjord slept by in the next room - and She was easy to find if one knew where to look.

Time became meaningless, drifting in and out of this world and another.  Perhaps he sat there for a minute, perhaps an hour - meditation was like that.  In truth he had been in this place several times today, and though this approach to it felt very different than the way he had come before it still felt welcoming and safe and holy.

The door outside was shut, but a soft breeze caressed his face.  She was here, and She was ready to listen to his questions.

“Is my family doing well tonight?” Caduceus asked, his voice barely audible.  He didn’t need to speak loudly, She would always hear him.

The breeze stirred once more, feeling warm.  Several birds chirped together in a tree outside - a family speaking in the darkness.  Some were further away, but they still called back to their loved ones: I am here, I am here, I am here.

His family was well, though far apart.  A comforting thought.  He didn’t check on them often, fearing that it would make him miss home even more than he did, but Caduceus felt he could be excused tonight for this moment of weakness.  His thoughts were on his blood, whether he wanted them to be or not.

What else to ask?  She was often a source of comfort to him in confusing times, and this certainly was a time of confusion.  Perhaps She could ease his concerns.  Perhaps She could help him understand Fjord’s feelings.  He trusted Fjord, he truly did, but he also knew Fjord sometimes put his own needs aside for others for the good of the group.  

He would feel much better knowing that Fjord was not doing that now.

The words came easily in the darkness.  “Is Fjord really happy to do this for me?”

Another warm breath of air, this one tinged with the salty hint of the sea.  It felt like a weight was being lifted that he didn’t know was there - a bob of swelling seas lifting his heart up in his chest.  Yes .  Yes he was happy to do this, and Caduceus was happy to know it.  And She was happy to see it.  Yes.

Still one more question, though Caduceus didn’t know what else to say.  He let himself drift in and out again, alternating between floating in darkness and bringing himself back to the cold moonlit floor.  He tried to think about the way his body had felt when he had been with Fjord in the bed, the way he had felt fuzzy and ill defined, like the two of them would fade into one and lose any sense of “Caduceus” or “Fjord.”  It had been strange but exhilarating.

But he felt so ill-prepared, so inexperienced.  This was all so new, these feelings, these urges, and yet at the same time it felt very much familiar, like he had always known he was capable of this and had simply been waiting - for what he did not know.  And if he was being honest, Caduceus wasn’t certain anymore what would happen after the bloom was finished.  Would these feelings pass?  Would he still feel this way with Fjord, or was it just like Fjord said?  Was his body telling him lies, making him want things he wouldn’t want otherwise?  Fjord seemed so certain that this happened, he couldn’t help but think that it had been something the half orc had experienced himself, but Caduceus never remembered any warnings about this from his parents.  The bloom was a time of self expression, self exploration, self discovery, but not a time of lies and confusion.  He dearly wished he could speak with his father.

He dearly wished he could speak with his heart.

Love had always been easy, he had so much of it to give.  It was the force of good that he believed most in, the transformative power that changed people, made them better than they were.  But he knew there were types of love he didn't know, maybe wouldn't ever know, and that was okay.  But did that make his love less?

“Fjord has warned me that things might feel different when this is over,” Caduceus started, his voice hushed and soft.  “I just want to know… when the bloom has passed, will I still care for him?  Still… love him?”

The answer this time was not as clear or immediate.  No warm breath of air came to assure him, no buoyant feeling in his heart, and Caduceus was worried - did this mean it would change something between him and Fjord?  How could that be?  He cared about Fjord, he had always cared about Fjord, and he loved him in a way he had never loved anyone else.  How could that change?  He didn’t want that, he wanted to be happy with Fjord… wasn’t this the thing She had been pointing him to this whole time?  A companion?  A confidant?  Heart beating wildly, he opened his eyes in a panic, and his gaze fell on a bird sitting out on the balcony.

In a rush, Caduceus stood and moved to the door, undoing the latch and letting in the cool night air.  The little bluebird hopped in place on the railing, puffing out its feathers, and as Caduceus drew closer he realized it was holding something in its tiny beak.  Cupping his hands, he held them out and the bird carefully dropped a single flower bud into his palm.  An apple blossom, from the look of it, small and pale pink - perhaps from the tree in the garden.  Caduceus stared at the closed petals, trying to determine their meaning, when he felt at last the warm wind of assurance caress him.  Mother… She brought calm on the wind, and Caduceus took that as a sign that She had more to say.  Taking a deep breath, he took in the stillness of the night as all the birds fell silent, the comforting smell of roses from the garden below, the way the wind felt soft like his own mother’s fur, and he closed his eyes once more.

My Clay… Her voice came softly to him in the darkness, wrapping around him in an embrace.  You may blossom just once a year, but that does not mean your love dies after spring.  A plant is not criticized for how brief it flowers.  Things may change between you and the young paladin… but you will still care for him.  As I do for both of you.

With that, Caduceus glanced down at the flower in his hand, and found that the petals had unfurled, fully blossoming the small pink flower in his hand.

“I think… I understand,” Caduceus answered, and he found himself smiling.

The bluebird on the balcony chirped in reply, and then flew away into the night.

Moving back inside, Caduceus carefully closed the glass door, trying his hardest not to make a sound, and made his way back to the bed, still holding the delicate flower in his palm.  He understood now.  This experience with his body was temporary, but beautiful, like a flower.  That was why it was a bloom .  He blossomed, briefly, and then returned to the earth, only to sprout once more another year.  But a plant with no flowers was still alive, and he would still love when these new feelings faded.  And if he was willing, if he tended his garden with care and love all year, it would bear fruit when it was done - it was up to him to decide what that meant.

Carefully letting the blossom fall onto the nightstand, Caduceus pulled back the covers on the too-soft bed and prepared to climb in once more.  But another sound, almost a whisper, cut through the darkness and caught his sensitive ear.

A hitch of breath, barely audible, coming from the next room.

Caduceus’ heart was still beating frantically off the thrill of being touched by the Wildmother, and this sound only made those thudding beats in his chest seem louder.  He slowly padded his way to the curtain separating his room from Fjord’s.  Was that sound Fjord?  Was Fjord awake ?  Another small gasp.  It seemed he was.  The sounds weren’t pained or panicked, but they seemed restrained and hesitant.  Caduceus was worried something was wrong.  His vision in the dark wasn’t great, but he peeked his head through the doorway, towards the fireplace where Fjord had made his bed.

The dying embers of the fire lit the space in a low orange glow, and Caduceus could see Fjord laid out on the blankets - still shirtless, the green of his skin looking brown in the orange haze, and without the trousers and boots he had left Caduceus’ bed with.  His head was thrown back, hair untied from it’s small bun, one hand covering his mouth to muffle those gentle gasps, the other down his smallclothes, his wrist quickly jerking in motions Caduceus had recently become familiar with.

Ah.

Immediately, Caduceus wasn’t sure if he should turn and head back to bed.  Fjord was clearly enjoying an intimate moment, and Caduceus did not know if he would appreciate having an audience for that.  But there was something nice in seeing Fjord so exposed, so relaxed and comfortable.  Still, it was rude to stare.  Resolving himself to sleep, he turned, slowly pulling his gaze away, when he was stopped short with another soft gasp.

“ …Duces…”

“Yes?” Caduceus answered, turning his head back to the voice with joy at the hope that he was being called back, and he saw Fjord's head shot up in the darkness.

It felt like a thousand heart beats passed in a single second as he looked at Fjord, and Fjord at him, and Caduceus realized a moment too late that Fjord had not known that Caduceus was there.  The utterance of his name had not been for him.

Fjord had been talking about him.

“Oh gods,” Fjord said, hurriedly removing his hands and adjusting his smalls.  “Oh gods I’m so sorry Caduceus!”

“Why are you sorry?” Caduceus asked, genuinely confused.  “You didn’t realize I was here, I shouldn’t have intruded.”

Fjord didn’t seem to hear a word he was saying.  “I was…. I didn’t think you were still awake I…”

Caduceus cocked his head.

“Would you not be pleasuring yourself if you knew I was?”

“N-no!” Fjord stammered, pulling one of the blankets over himself to cover his legs.  “No I- I’m sorry I-“

Caduceus walked towards Fjord, hands out carefully as if he was calming a spooked deer before he realized that he was still nude.  Dropping his hands to cover himself, not out of shame but to ease Fjord’s panic, he cleared his throat.  “Fjord you haven’t done anything wrong,” he said softly.  “I would be a terrible hypocrite if I was going to chide you for something like that, given why we’re here.”

He drew closer, and he could see Fjord’s panicked expression illuminated by the fire, slowly calming as he caught his breath and worked his head around what was happening.  Eyes darting between Caduceus’ face and his hands.

“We’re not here for me,” Fjord answered.

“No, but we are here because sometimes bodies make demands of us that we need to answer,” Caduceus replied, kneeling beside Fjord’s bedroll.  “I’ve been spent twice today, why shouldn’t you?”

“I-it’s not fair of me,” Fjord said, his voice still unsteady.  “It’s not fair of me to put you in a place where you feel like… like you owe me something.”

Caduceus felt his ears perk up.

“What exactly would I owe you?”  Fjord didn’t have an answer, but Caduceus saw the way he was pointedly looking away from him, unwilling to make eye contact.  “What is it that you want?”

“This wasn’t supposed to be about what I want.”

“Fjord…. It is okay to want things,” Caduceus assured him.  “You don’t have to pretend I am naive, I understand this is a natural urge.  You’ve been very helpful to me, and I’d like to be helpful to you.  But you have to tell me what it is you want - I am not experienced enough to know how to help.”

Fjord finally looked at him, his gold eyes glinting in the darkness.

“I just feel… I feel like asking you to do this is… selfish,” Fjord sighed.  “You’re going through this whole new experience and I’m… I’m only thinking about how it makes me feel.”

“And how does it make you feel?”

His facial expression was one of frustration, sadness, and wanting.

“... guilty .  I feel guilty.”

Caduceus moved a hand from his lap to cup Fjord’s cheek.  He was relieved to find Fjord leaned into it.

“Fjord… you have nothing to feel guilty for,” Caduceus assured him.  “If anything I would be grateful to give you back a portion of the comfort you’ve given me today.”

“That’s what I don’t want,” Fjord insisted.  “I don’t want you to think I offered to be here just so you’d… I really do just want to help you.”

“Then what if I were to say I wanted it,” Caduceus answered, his voice still soft.  “Not for you.  For me.”

Fjord frowned.  “I don’t understand.”

“I want you to be happy, Fjord,” Caduceus continued.  “What you’re doing for me makes me happy, and I want to do the same for you.”

“I don’t -”

“Not the sexual, you being here, supporting me,” Caduceus assured him.  “That makes me happy.  I would be just as happy to have you here in that capacity alone.  But if you are willing to help my body in it’s sexual desires, then I would want to do the same for you.  Not because I am indebted to you but because I care about you, and it’s clear that you are wanting something more.  This is not a transaction where we give and take from each other, this is a partnership.  One where our wants may not be equal, but they're still important, and worthy of respect.”

At that Fjord seemed speechless.  His lips were parted as though he meant to speak, but the words didn’t come.  For a moment Caduceus saw his tongue attempt to wet his lips, emerging between his tusks briefly before disappearing once more.

“I cannot promise you that my body will always feel this way,” Caduceus continued.  “In truth I feel when the bloom has passed and my biology stops compelling me to mate my interest in sex will go back to what it was.  But for now I am open to it.  So... let’s just enjoy this for what it is.”

“...And what is this?” Fjord replied, leaning into Caduceus’ face, his breath soft and warm.

“As you said, it is a moment,” Caduceus answered easily.  “A moment where I want you to feel safe, and cared for, and good.  If you will allow me.”

Fjord almost forgot to speak before leaning in the rest of the way to kiss him, pressing a hasty, breathy “yes ” into Caduceus’ lips.

Kissing felt different in darkness.  Fjord’s movements seemed much quicker, much more urgent than they had before.  His breath seemed warmer, faster.  Caduceus marveled at the way Fjord’s entire being seemed to put itself into each kiss, making him rise to his knees, his body curling forward to meet Caduceus’.  His lips, his tusks, his tongue, that was new.  Caduceus leaned into it, chasing each kiss with a gentle hum and push forward, easing Fjord down back to his bedroll so he did not have to strain.  Moving his hand from Fjord’s cheek to his chest, Caduceus pushed to encourage Fjord to lay down.  

For a second, Fjord pulled away, a string of spittle briefly connecting their lips.  Caduceus met Fjord’s eyes with gentle reassurance.  This was not a push away, it was a push in.  Fjord lay back, and Caduceus allowed himself to move onto the bedroll next to him, placing one arm on the other side of Fjord to support him while he leaned over.

“I have a general idea about what feels good for me,” Caduceus said, letting his other hand softly drag over Fjord’s chest.  “But I’m even less experienced with your anatomy than mine.  What feels good to you, Fjord?”

“Anything,” he panted.  “Everything.”

“That’s not true and you know it,” Caduceus replied, bending forward to put a soft kiss on Fjord’s cheek.  “What were you doing when I interrupted you?”

“I-I was…” he struggled to remember, he seemed overwhelmed by what was happening.  “I was… stroking my... cock.”

“Is that something you would like me to do?”

Fjord nodded, and then answered to confirm it.  “Green.”

“Excellent,” Caduceus said with a smile.  “Let’s find a good position then.”

He took a moment to grab a few of the pillows Fjord had placed around, and propped them up in a way that the both of them could lay against them, sitting up but comfortable.  Then Caduceus moved himself to lie next to Fjord, letting their hips touch as he carefully put one arm under Fjord, and moved his other hand down Fjord’s soft belly to the dark curl of hair at his navel.

He stopped just above Fjord’s smallclothes, hesitant.

“Just… touch it like I touch yours,” Fjord whispered.  “It’s not as big , but it still likes to be stroked.”

Caduceus responded with a kiss to Fjord’s temple, and slipped his hand under the hem of the garment.

He had seen Fjord naked, knew about where to move his hand.  He let his fingers trail through the thick bush of hair, enjoying the sensation as he sought out the swollen bud that stood out between his folds.  A finger brushed the head, and Fjord gasped.

“Is that good?” Caduceus asked.  Fjord nodded frantically in response before letting his head fall back against the pillows.

Fjord’s cock was hard, large enough to slot nicely between Caduceus’ finger and thumb, and it felt hot and slick to the touch.  Curling around it, Caduceus gently stroked, a smooth and fluid motion as Fjord had done for him.  He didn’t have to move as much, Fjord’s cock was no where near as large as his, but he found the general rhythm quickly.

Fjord made a sound somewhere in the intersection of a moan, a hiccup, and a sob.

“Already very worked up I see,” Caduceus hummed, feeling the way Fjord’s smalls and thighs were already wet and sticky as he moved.  “How long were you at it before I came in?”

“A-a f-few minutes,” Fjord stuttered, his eyes closed tight.  “T-thought you were asleep.”

“Is that why you said my name then?” Caduceus continued, his strokes careful and uniform.  “Because you thought I would not hear it?”

“... Y-yes.”

“I invited you to stay in bed with me, Fjord,” Caduceus assured him, pressing their foreheads together.  “I wanted you to stay.”

“I-I wanted to,” Fjord admitted, breaths coming quick.  “I wanted to so badly but… I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Well I’m very comfortable now,” Caduceus answered, taking in the wet sound of his fingers moving against Fjord’s skin.  “Are you comfortable, Fjord?”

“Yes,” Fjord gasped, his hips bucking with Caduceus’ strokes.  “C-can I touch you?”

Caduceus glanced down at his own cock, which was half-hard without him even realizing it.  He kissed Fjord’s temple once more.  “If you would like.”

A shaky hand reached out and grasped Caduceus’ member, stroking tentatively.  It was a different feeling than the confident strokes Fjord had shown him earlier, but they still felt pleasant.  Caduceus marveled how lovely being touched was, how Fjord’s warm green looked beside the soft mottled pink of his intimate skin.  Like a delicate bloom against vibrant foliage.

“Can you go lower?” Fjord breathed, his voice soft but wanting.

“You’ll have to explain what you want,” Caduceus replied.  “But yes, I’m happy to.”

“J-just… there’s an opening, a little ways down from there,” Fjord explained.  “Would like a finger or two in there, if you can manage.”

Releasing Fjord’s cock, Caduceus moved his hand lower, dipping down to find the place he described.  It was warm, incredibly wet, and soft, and Caduceus moved carefully as he tested out the area with a finger, slowly pushing deeper into the silky, wet sensation.  Fjord’s hips bucked up.

“Gods your fingers are big,” Fjord choked out a laugh.

“Is that bad?” Caduceus replied.

“Not good or bad,” Fjord admitted.  “Just… a lot.  C-can you do a little…” He released Caduceus’ cock for a moment and made a gentle motion with his fingers that Caduceus recognized, like the gesture one would make when calling someone closer.  He imitated it, and felt Fjord’s entire body shudder under him.  “... yeah that’s it.”

They both fell silent for a time, Caduceus exploring the sensation surrounding his finger as he pushed in and out of Fjord’s folds, occasionally curling in the way he had been instructed.  Fjord returned his hand to Caduceus’ cock, which was almost completely hard now, and continued to stroke.  Caduceus delighted in the sounds they both made, both above (soft gasps, heaving panting breaths) and below (wet strokes, skin against skin), and noticed he could feel that coiling in his belly that was starting to become familiar to him.  

With a shift of his hand, he did his best to position himself so that his thumb could brush against Fjord’s cock while he fingered him, and that got an entire new sound out of the half orc that he was delighted to hear again.  He quickly brushed again, and Fjord surged forward to lock lips with him, his grip around Caduceus’ member tight and warm.

Suddenly they were both moving in a frenzy, stroking and kissing each other as though it was the reason they had been put on this earth.  The reason She had made them.  Fjord’s tongue was in Caduceus’ mouth, and that was a sensation, and his tusks were catching on Caduceus’ bottom lip as their mouths moved.  Caduceus could feel himself edging closer to the climax he had now come to expect, belly tight and warm, when he felt Fjord shudder, and the pressure and warmth around the finger he had inside him increased, pulling him closer.  He chased after that sensation, the feeling of Fjord’s body holding him in, and got another shudder in response.

“Close,” Fjord gasped out against Caduceus’ mouth before immediately being enveloped again in a kiss.  His strokes on Caduceus’ cock grew quicker, more frantic, and Caduceus responded in kind with a stuttering hip thrust of his own.

With care, Caduceus pressed another finger into Fjord, thumb still grinding softly against his cock, and he felt Fjord’s orgasm come in a warm wave of shudders and gasps, soaking Caduceus’ hand and the fabric of his smalls.  Another shudder, this one more intense, and Caduceus stilled as Fjord’s grip grew tight around him and he turned his head away.

“T-that’s good,” Fjord moaned.  “I’m good.  Let me finish you.”

Slowly removing his fingers, Caduceus saw Fjord’s belly relax, and Fjord’s strokes on his cock gained purpose.  It did not take long for Caduceus to release, his cum spurting hot and thick over his belly and Fjord’s hand once more.

Collapsing back against the pillows, they breathed heavily together in the darkness.

Caduceus took a moment to enjoy the buzzing sensation in his whole body, the thrum of being sated and spent that was not too different from the way magic pulsed through him, before he realized that his hand was still wet from Fjord’s release.  Sitting up, he pulled his hand to his lips and did what he had seen Fjord do - extending his tongue, he lapped up Fjord’s spend from his fingers and palm.

It tasted… odd.  Not pleasant, but not terrible.  It wasn’t as thick as his own, and it had a salty-sweet taste that Caduceus couldn’t quite place.

“Fuck.”

He glanced down at Fjord’ whose golden eyes were locked on him, mouth slack in an awed expression.

“You know you don’t have to do that,” Fjord said slowly.

“You did it,” Caduceus answered, licking the last of it from his fingers.  “I wanted to try.  It’s interesting, I can see why people do it.”

Fjord’s face turned ruddy with blush once more.

“T-that was…” he was at a loss for what to say.  “That’s an… orc thing.”  He didn’t seem to want to elaborate beyond that.

“Well I’ve heard what happens in Jester’s books,” Caduceus laughed, nestling down into a more comfortable position.  “I don’t think it’s exclusive to orcs, or anyone for that matter.”  He looked at Fjord once more, who seemed more embarrassed than ever.  “Did I do something wrong?”

“N-no,” Fjord answered.  “I just wasn’t… expecting it.”

He glanced down, and Caduceus leaned over to give him another kiss, chaste and sweet on the temple.  He couldn’t help but notice a soft rumbling coming from Fjord’s chest, though he knew better than to draw attention to it - the half orc was bashful enough already without mentioning that he was purring.

Fjord grabbed his tea-stained shirt from earlier and used it to clean the mess off his hand and Caduceus’ belly.  When that was done, he lay down on his back, staring at the ceiling.  Caduceus rolled over to give Fjord a kiss on the cheek, soft as a butterfly landing.

“Stay with me?” Caduceus asked.

“On the floor?” Fjord replied with a chuckle.

“Bed’s too soft,” Caduceus admitted.  “And big.  And my legs are tired.  We’ll sleep in it tomorrow.”

“We? ”

“I assume we can continue this tomorrow,” Caduceus answered.  “If that is alright with you?”

Fjord nodded, then smiled.  "I'd be happy to join you."

“That’s all I could ask for, Fjord.”

Curling up with his head next to Fjord’s, Caduceus felt that same warm wash of comfort and safety he knew was tied to the Wildmother’s approval.  He watched the half-orc’s face as he slowly drifted off, eyes closing, expression going soft and calm in that warmth as the soft rumbles of his chest continued in the darkness.  Caduceus felt his heart flutter once more.

His affection for Fjord was undeniable, but Her assurance made it feel even stronger.  He did not know what fruit this would bear when the blossoming had finished, but he knew that it would be sweet and fulfilling in whatever form it took.

He let himself drift off in the warmth and scent of Fjord .

Chapter Text

When Caduceus awoke, Fjord’s head was tucked neatly into the hollow of his throat.  The half orc was sleeping peacefully, his gentle huffs of breath ghosting across Caduceus’ pulse, his body curled into the long and gangly shape of the firbolg’s form as if they were interlocking pieces of a puzzle.  It felt very natural, the way his form curled to fit the smaller man - their legs tangled together, their arms tucked against one another.

This felt like home .

Firbolg families were close knit groups, and cuddling in large numbers for comfort and warmth was very common.  It wasn’t unusual for a family to sleep together when it was cold or a member of the family needed comfort.  He had often spent nights curled up with his siblings - Colton and Calliope wrapped around him, Clarabelle laying on his chest, their parents bracketing them on either side.  Caduceus had been surprised how much he had missed it, the closeness of someone you loved, sleeping beside you.   

Now that he was no longer alone it hadn’t taken long to realize how starved he was for touch.  He longed for it, to hold hands, to have a shoulder to lean on, to feel a warm body near him, and over the time they had been together the Nein had reached a point of comfort that cuddles were something he now had in no short supply.  If he wanted to be held, there were many arms waiting for him, happy to embrace him.

But this…

Fjord’s breaths were so warm on his fur, and Caduceus could still hear the dull rumble of content in his chest.  He had shared a bed with Fjord, and others in the Nein before, but not like this .  Not naked and vulnerable and tangled together, not curling into the warmth of touch uninvited.  

Nudity was of course more taboo with other races in Exandria, but among firbolgs it was normal.  There was no shame in being as She made you, and with internal reproductive organs there was little to be uncomfortable about.  During a bloom they would isolate, give the privacy that the event required, but otherwise it was fairly normal to be together , sleeping together as She made them.  

But he knew not everyone was comfortable with that, that for most in this world this degree of intimacy was reserved for romantic partners alone.  He couldn’t understand why you would limit your access to this feeling, to only allow yourself that comfort from one .  Curling up in his sibling’s fur, feeling his father’s warmth and his mother’s soft touch...  He felt it mirrored in the way Fjord’s skin, his breath, his smell surrounded him.  This was so much closer to the primal urge, the natural desire to touch and be touched .

Caduceus stirred slightly, moving his head to rest his chin on top of Fjord’s hair.

And yet it was different.  It was very different, because of how they came to be like this.  

Taking a deep breath, Caduceus breathed in the smell of Fjord - the smell of salt and leather and old wood, and a hint of something more primal, (more orcish? ), that Caduceus couldn’t quite place.  All the Nein had smells of their own: Caleb like ash and cat dander, Jester like sugar and paint.  Veth smelled of alcohol and black powder, Beau of sweat and ink, and Yasha of flowers and ozone.  All special, all wonderful, but Fjord’s smell… That smell of the sea, of his armor, of the Mother’s embrace around him...  A lovely smell, a perfect smell, and yet… 

Fjord still smelled like Fjord . 

When doing this type of close cuddling with another firbolg, their smells would mix and mingle, becoming something new and special, but… He suspected it was Fjord’s lack of fur.  The short hairs of his kind were good at capturing smells close to the body, and Fjord, though he had plenty of hair, had nowhere near enough to retain Caduceus’ smell.  And something in Caduceus’ blood seemed to boil at that thought, at the knowledge that when Fjord left this bed he would smell like only Fjord .  

Like they were still two separate beings.

Without thinking, he rubbed his cheek into Fjord’s hair.

The drag of his fur against Fjord’s head set off little sparks inside him.  Yes , this was the right thing to do.  This was the thing he needed.  He wrapped his arms around Fjord and pulled him closer, burying his face into Fjord’s salt and pepper hair, breathing deep as Fjord’s smell and his smell started to become blurry, the way his body felt blurry in the hazy moments of blooming.  With a quiet sigh, he brushed his cheek against Fjord’s scalp again and again and…

“You alright there Ducey?”

Fjord’s voice was soft and kind, still heavy with sleep and gentle in tone, but it snapped Caduceus out of the daze he had been in, suddenly aware of how close he had pulled Fjord, how warm he felt under the skin, how lost in the moment he had become.  He froze, unsure whether to pull away or stay still with Fjord still in his arms.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Fjord assured him.  “Worse things to wake up to.”

“I… I don’t know what came over me,” Caduceus admitted, and Fjord chuckled, the warm rumble of his laughter shaking them both.

“I mean you’re musking , right?” Fjord answered.  “Isn’t this a part of that?  Trying to make your mate smell like you ?”

A realization passed over Caduceus as he heard those words, equal parts familiar and foreign, and he nodded.  “I… I suppose that is what I was doing,” he said quietly.  He did know this, he knew sharing their scents as a form of intimacy was something his kind did… but it had happened so quickly , he hadn’t even realized he was doing it.  “Forgive me, I lost myself for a minute there, I should have asked first.”

“It’s fine,” Fjord soothed, pulling away slowly so they could see each other’s faces.  “Sometimes instinct overrides sense.  You feel okay?”

“A little warm,” answered Caduceus.  “I really am very sorry, I don’t expect you to be my mate or anything like that, it just felt like… I had to do it, for a moment.”

“Duces I know that,” Fjord replied, his face soft with a sleepy smile.  “I told you, sometimes the hormones make stupid things happen.  When I’m in it I get so territorial that I try to fight anyone who gets within eyeline of me or my partner.  And that includes friends, coworkers, and seagulls.”

Caduceus laughed at that, and Fjord scooted up the pillow a bit so the two of them could be at eye level.

“Listen…. Last night when I was talking about waiting to tell me how you feel, this is what I was talking about,” he said quietly.  “I know you’ve never really been interested in dating or sex, and I know this is all new and weird for you.  So when I say to wait what I’m saying is… not that your feelings aren’t real , but that they might be temporary .”

“Ah.”

“And that’s okay,” Fjord finished.  “It’s okay if they are temporary.  What you feel now doesn’t have to be forever.”

“I asked the Wildmother if they were last night,” Caduceus admitted.  “Temporary, I mean.  She told me it’s a bloom because it is brief, like a flower.  Beautiful and temporary.”

“That’s nice,” Fjord agreed.  “Is that all firbolgs or just you?”

“Just me, I think,” Caduceus answered.  “I think others may have these sorts of urges more frequently than once a year.  The bloom is just an acceleration of those feelings, to maximize the chances of a spring conception.  But for me… I do think it will fade, in time.”

“You ask the Mother anything else?” Fjord asked, his golden eyes soft.  “I know you get three questions.”

“I asked Her how my family is,” Caduceus confirmed.  “And... I asked Her if you really were comfortable with this arrangement.”

Fjord grinned.  “I told you I was,” Fjord chuckled.

“Yes, but I was still concerned that you were humoring me,” Caduceus admitted, closing his eyes.  “I know better now.  You really do want to do this, to help me.”

“I mean it’s not all altruistic,” Fjord laughed.  “You’re definitely my type.”

At that, Caduceus was caught off guard.  He opened his eyes to glance at Fjord.  “ Oh ?”

Fjord rolled over and sat up, running his fingers through his messy bedhead.  “Yeah, I like… guys that are taller than me,” he said sheepishly.  “Like way taller than me.”

Caduceus laughed as he sat up too, towering a whole head over Fjord.  They both smiled.  “I see, I do fit that qualifier.”

“I’m just saying it’s not some great sacrifice on my part to be here,” Fjord teased, reaching out to take Caduceus’ hand.  “ I didn’t want to admit it because it felt selfish to say, but... I do get something from this too.” He cleared his throat, and squeezed Caduceus’ hand.  

“I thought as much,” soothed Caduceus.  “Do you want to tell me?”

Fjord nodded.  “When I heard you were going through a cycle I… I thought of all the times I thought I was in love, and how horrible it felt to come back to reality,” explained Fjord.  “The desperate desire to be wanted by someone, only to realize the arms you fell into were…” he trailed off, and Caduceus got a sense that Fjord was thinking about someone specific - Avantika?  Sabien?  Some other flame from days long past?  “Less than ideal.  And I didn’t want that for you.  I wanted to know the person you were with would respect you as you are, no matter what happened.  And… I thought I could do that, because I care about you.”

“I understand,” Caduceus answered softly, squeezing Fjord’s hand back.  “I care about you too, Fjord.  Perhaps not in the same way, but… with the same strength and affection.”

“But I knew what I really felt and… I knew that I had feelings you wouldn’t be able to return when this was over… I felt so horrible, that you would think I offered to do this as a way to… get what I wanted,” he continued.  “And I didn’t want that to happen.  I was so hellbent on not acting like the people who hurt me, and I tried to hide that… that I was feeling something too.”

“If it is a comfort,” Caduceus replied, “People see sex as this… milestone.  This threshold to prove your affections for others, to demonstrate your love , whatever that means.  I’ve never felt like that, I’ve never understood the need.  To me, sex is a biological process, like breathing, eating, sleeping.  If I felt the need, I might do it, but I never did.  And now that I have felt some need, I realize...  The intimacy comes from trust.   The trust in knowing that who you are is respected, and loved.  And I already have that with you, Fjord.  With all the Nein yes, but with you ...  I have for quite a while.  It’s the same trust I put in the Wildmother, in my family, and in myself.  And that’s love , in so many words, though it looks different than the love of Jester’s stories.”

“Honestly her stories have no reflection on reality,” Fjord chuckled, and Caduceus smiled in return.

“My point is… I know you are used to looking at these things through the lens of romance,” he continued.  “I can’t give that back.  But I can give back trust, and I hope you can see that as its own form of intimacy.  That it’s not something I do lightly or without thought.  This friendship benefits us both.”  Caduceus paused, taking a moment to reflect on what they both had said, and then laughed.  “Oh, is this…  I do think that Jester’s books call it ‘friends with benefits’?”

Fjord barked out a laugh at that.

“Yeah Ducey, that’s what this is.”

“Complete nonsense,” Caduceus chuckled.  “Being friends with someone already has so many benefits.”

They laughed, and Fjord got up to fetch some of the leftover bread while Caduceus moved to stoke the fire and put on another kettle.  As the flames grew, Caduceus felt his heart let go of the last bit of fear and tension he had been holding onto.  He and Fjord finally understood each other now fully.  Understood what this was.  

And that brought comfort, greater than any comfort he had ever felt before.

Chapter Text

After months of travel with the Nein, Caduceus had gotten used to at least some of their morning routines.  He knew Beau often got up before the sun rose to exercise, working best in the cold dark air.  He knew Caleb often brought a book with him to breakfast, turning pages between mouthfuls.  He knew Veth sometimes needed a little nip of hard liquor to wake up all the way in the morning, that Jester would stay in bed forever if no one came to get her, that Yasha often woke before anyone but stayed still and quiet until someone else got up.

And he knew Fjord’s routine pretty well too.  But it was different watching that routine when they were alone together, when it was just the two of them.

After changing into clean smallclothes, Fjord did his stretches, some pushups and squats.  He combed his hair back and tied it off nicely into a high ponytail.  He put oil into his beard, and rubbed dental salve on his still-healing tusks.  He put a spoonful of the powdered potion he took every day into hot water, and drank it.  It was all very normal, but Caduceus appreciated being able to watch Fjord moving about because it was normal.  It felt comforting, seeing the half orc go back into the routines he had seen so many times before.

It felt familiar.

Which was nice, because Caduceus’ routine had been completely interrupted.  

He did his morning prayer, but after that he was at a loss.  There was no breakfast to cook, no dishes to clean, no chores to tend to.  He had been experiencing that more and more since Caleb’s cat butlers had been starting to take over such things, and here it was much the same.  Fjord had taken care of everything; he had brought the food, there were no dishes, and he had cleaned up Caduceus’ messes. But he was so used to having to do that for himself every day for a decade that it was strange to have it done for him.

Fjord seemed to catch his frustration as he gathered up the blankets and clothes from yesterday.

“You doing okay Duces?”

“Yes,” he sighed, making his way back into the too-soft bed so he could cover his bare legs with the blanket.  He felt exposed, but not it was not related to his nudity.  “I’m just… I’m not used to just… sitting here.”

“You sat in that graveyard of yours for ten years,” Fjord pointed out, grabbing Caduceus’ towel from yesterday off the floor by the bed.

“Yes, but there was always something to do,” Caduceus admitted.  “Plants to trim, prayers to offer, things that needed mending… I was never just sitting around.”

“Well, you could probably use another bath,” Fjord pointed out, gesturing towards the washroom.  “I’m sure you’re pretty sweaty from sharing a bed with me last night.”

“ Maybe… ” Caduceus sighed, glancing at the window.

“What would your siblings do when they got bored during all this?” Fjord asked gently.

“Oh, well… I imagine they were a little more… into the urges of all this,” chuckled Caduceus.  “But mother would come in to check on them and bring them games or snacks… braid their hair, wash their face-”

“ I can braid your hair,” Fjord offered earnestly, and Caduceus laughed again.  Fjord frowned, looking offended that Caduceus didn’t seem to believe him.  “I’m not great at it, but I’ve got experience.  And we can play cards or something, or talk about things until you’re… ready to do something else, you know?”

Caduceus thought about it, then hummed.  He appreciated Fjord’s dedication to taking this at Caduceus’ speed, but he suspected that today would be a little more… urgent than yesterday had been.  Even now he could feel his knot throbbing dully, still not fully swollen but much larger than it normally would be, reminding him of the reason they were here.

“While I take a bath, would you be willing to brush my hair out?” Caduceus asked.  “I think we should tie it back today, and I used to like it when my mother brushed my hair.  I think that might be very relaxing.”

“If that’s what you want, sure!” Fjord said with a smile.  “You got a brush?”

“In my bag, I’ll fetch it.”

“You do that, I’ll run the bath for you,” Fjord answered.

Within seconds the sound of the enchanted decanter pouring water into the stone basin filled the apartment, and that was calming in itself.  Like the sound of hot water pouring into a cup of tea.  Caduceus reached for his pack once more and rooted around for his brush.

Every member of the Clay family had a brush, made from an ancestor’s bone and stiff boar bristles.  Caduceus and his siblings all had brushes made from a long-dead great great great uncle’s femur, carefully carved and threaded by another long-dead relative he never knew.  A connection to each other, forged in the quiet self care every firbolg would need to partake in - grooming.  He felt his hand close around the smooth bone handle, and he removed the brush from his pack with care.

“You ready?” Fjord’s voice came softly, and Caduceus looked up to see him standing next to the washroom door, holding a washcloth out to him.

He nodded, handing Fjord the brush as he took the towel, and made his way over to the bath.

Getting in was easy enough, his legs did not feel as weak as they had last time he had used the tub.  Once more the water felt welcoming to him, enveloping him in warmth and comfort as he sank down into the basin.  He leaned against the edge of the tub, letting his long hair fall over the lip, and closed his eyes as he felt the small tug of the brush in Fjord’s hand, slowly brushing out pink tangles with careful strokes.

“I used to have to brush out the hair of some of the younger kids at the orphanage,” Fjord explained quietly, his movements careful and soft.  “Course their hair wasn’t as nicely kept as yours.”

“It seems like you had a lot of responsibility back then,” answered Caduceus.

“Being orc-blooded makes you look older than you are,” Fjord admitted.  “And older kids tend to get roped into parenting the littler ones when the staff is run thin.”

“That must have been hard for you,” Caduceus replied, taking the washcloth to his arms and scrubbing his fur carefully.

“Yeah but it was good too,” Fjord explained.  “Made me seem capable.  Responsible.  And looking older than I was got me out of there sooner.  And getting out let me… really become who I wanted to be, you know?”

“I took care of my sister Carabelle a lot,” Caduceus mused.  “She was a little thing, and firbolgs stay little for a while.  But I can’t imagine taking care of more than one child at a time, I don’t know how Colton and Calliope handled it.”

His entire body relaxed, focusing in on the sensation of the brush in his hair, on Fjord’s hands carefully teasing each knot loose so that it could be brushed away.  They were clearly very skilled hands, used to dealing with younger, impatient heads.  Caduceus remembered how fussy Clarabelle had been about having her hair brushed.  Fjord was good about anticipating snags and tangles, working them out before the brush could harshly pull on them.  His scalp tingled, and that tingle went down his whole body, making every hair stand on end.

“Feel good?”

“Very,” Caduceus sighed.  “I’ve always enjoyed it when others help with my hair, but you’re very good at it.”

Fjord gave a soft chuckle in response.  “Yeah well I’m not as good at this next part.”

The rhythm of Fjord’s strokes lulled Caduceus into a kind of trance, his eyes fluttering shut as his breathing calmed and slowed.  When Fjord’s fingers threaded into his hair to pleat it for braiding, he felt a warm sensation in his gut that felt so very different from all the others he had experienced in this place.  

Not arousal, not affection, not anything so unfamiliar, but a calm, warm surrender .  Trust.

Fjord’s fingers were deft, but not entirely skilled.  Caduceus could tell that the braid he was doing would be misshapen, imperfect, but that was alright.  Fjord’s focus on the twisting of pink locks of hair felt intimate and kind, like the attention one would pay as you helped a small vine wind its way around a trellis.

It felt wonderful.

Before long it was done, and Caduceus reached back to feel the uneven but tightly braided cording of hair, carefully bound off with a small tie like the ones Fjord wore to keep his own hair back.

“There we go,” he said softly.  “Not pretty, but it’ll keep the hair out of your face.”

Fjord stepped out from behind him, coming into view.  Caduceus smiled, and shifted in the water, letting himself sit up higher so his legs took up less space.  Fjord looked at him, uncertain, before Caduceus motioned to the water.

“Would you… join me?”

He hesitated for a moment, meeting eyes with Caduceus as if looking for permission.  He was still afraid of overstepping, and Caduceus wanted Fjord to know that he was safe too.

“You need it just as much as I do,” Caduceus said calmly, his smile gentle as he looked over Fjord’s thighs, remembering how sticky they had been the night before.  “And… I would like to see you.”

“You’ve seen me before,” Fjord answered, somewhat bashful.

“Never in this context,” Caduceus replied.  “Never with this intention.”

“What intention is that?” questioned Fjord, though his body moved closer to the tub as he spoke.

“The intention to explore ,” Caduceus admitted.  “And appreciate, if I may.”

Fjord’s face went ruddy once more, but he nodded in response.  

“You may.  May I join you?” Fjord asked, and Caduceus smiled at Fjord’s gentlemanly nature.

“Green.”

Caduceus watched with patient calm as Fjord carefully pushed his smallclothes down, stepping out of them as they passed over his thick, muscular thighs.

Caduceus had to admit he knew very little about bodies that weren’t his own, but he knew that Fjord’s was special in many ways.  In the way his unique coloration spread from his face to his thighs, the way his belly lay soft and relaxed, the way his scars stood out on his skin.

And the way his cock looked, flushed vibrant and verdant against a background of dark curls.

“Have I mentioned that I find you very handsome?” Caduceus said softly, enjoying Fjord’s blush.  “Every body has its own charm, but I must admit… She did some good work with yours.”

“H-hey now,” Fjord chuckled, gesturing at his chest.  “She doesn’t get all the credit, I did some customization.”

“That’s true ,” admitted Caduceus with a smile, “Honestly, what She gives us is just a starting point.  The beauty comes from what we do with it afterwards.  Like… clay, becoming a pot in careful hands.  We’re molded by our choices into something more complex and beautiful than just flesh and blood.”

“That’s… huh.” Fjord sounded relieved.  “I admit, when I started all this Wildmother stuff I was afraid She… that She’d be disappointed that I… didn’t appreciate what She gave me.”

Caduceus felt a pang of guilt.

“Oh no Fjord,” soothed Caduceus, holding out a hand for him to grasp as he stepped over the lip of the bath.  “She doesn’t construct us, like a statue with set features of Her design, stagnant and rigid.  She plants us in the earth and lets us unfurl in whatever way we see fit.  We grow like wildflowers: beautiful, chaotic, and unplanned .  And She wouldn’t want us any other way.”

At that Fjord smiled wide, his tusks fully visible, and Caduceus’ heart skipped a beat.

Fjord sank into the water, kneeling in the bath across from Caduceus.  The tub was large, but they were still fairly close together, knees just barely touching.

“You’re pretty,” Fjord said simply.  “She made you very pretty.  I hope it’s okay to say that.”

“Thank you Fjord,” Caduceus said with a smile of his own.  “She and I both appreciate the compliment.”

They sat in the water in silence, just enjoying each other’s company for a bit while they soaked and felt the sweat and soil from the previous day wash away.  Eventually Caduceus grabbed the washcloth and offered it to Fjord, who was happy to scrub down his thighs as Caduceus grabbed another from the basket Fjord had put by the tub.  It didn’t take long for both of them to get clean.

But Caduceus’ cock still throbbed softly in the warm heat of the bath, and drew his mind into new places that he did not expect.

“So you wanna… play cards after this?” Fjord asked, glancing over to see Caduceus’ hooded eyes lingering on him.

“Perhaps later,” Caduceus admitted.  “I think my bloom is about to start up again.”

“Oh.  Oh !” Fjord said, his expression equal parts shocked and embarrassed.  “S-sorry, yeah, we can take care of that.  What do you want to do?”

“I actually want to breach a delicate topic, before I’m too far gone,” Caduceus said, his hands shaking a little as he hung his washcloth on the side of the tub.  “The longer this goes on, the stronger my desire to knot is going to become.”

Fjord’s face went completely ruddy at the word “knot”.  “Ah.  Right.”

“I’m worried though, that my inexperience may cause problems,” he sighed.  “Or that it might be something you are uncomfortable with.  And I wanted to be sure we addressed it before going further.”  Fjord’s expression read like a thousand wheels were turning in his mind as he tried to work out exactly what this conversation was working towards, so Caduceus clarified.  “Penetrative sex with a knot is an ordeal , I am told.”

“O-oh, well,” Fjord smiled bashfully.  “We don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.  If you think it will be too... overwhelming for you, I can just give you handjobs.”

“My concern is not my comfort, Fjord,” Caduceus replied.  “I am concerned about yours .”

“Oh!  Oh you mean-” he gestured at himself, and that made both of them chuckle.  “Duces I wouldn’t have offered to be here if I wasn’t comfortable in all aspects of this.  Honest.  If you want to have sex, then I would be happy to help.  And if you think my handjobs will be enough, I’m happy to do that too.”

“I don’t think they will,” Caduceus sighed, and Fjord’s expression took on a curious look.  “Not that they haven’t been wonderful, but firbolg coupling is strongly related to being tied, and I worry my instinct will push me there instead of just chasing release.”

“So we have sex,” Fjord shrugged.  “And if you knot me, you knot me.  We’ll make sure you cast that spell to keep me from getting pregnant, and it should be fine.”

Caduceus laughed.  “You say it so casually.  But I don’t know if I know… how .  And I’m worried I’ll hurt you.”

“How about this,” Fjord said, shifting closer to Caduceus to take his hand.  “We take it very very slow, and work up to it.  I know a few workarounds we can do to get you used to the motions, and I can use that time to prep myself too.”  He put his forehead against Caduceus’. “ We go at your speed, okay?”

“O-okay,” Caduceus agreed, letting his head rest against Fjord’s.  “Thank you, Fjord.”

“So… What do you want to do now?”

“I’d... like to touch you,” Caduceus said calmly.  “And I’d like you to touch me, if that’s alright.”

“Yeah, we can do that,” Fjord chuckled softly, getting comfortable in the warm water.  “Whatever you’d like.”

Caduceus’ hand reached out to Fjord, cutting smoothly through the water until it had reached his knee.  Softly, Caduceus let his hand drag up and down Fjord’s thigh, never going too high, staying soft and intimate.  Fjord returned the gesture, letting his own hand trail up and down Caduceus’ arm, taking in the soft ruffle of fur under his palm.

They locked eyes for a moment, and a breath was held between them as they stroked in silence, letting the sound of running water be the only indication of movement.  Then, Caduceus leaned forward, moving to his knees.

“When you’ve been intimate with others,” Caduceus said softly, bringing both his hands up to rest at Fjord’s hips.  “What is it you like to do together?”

“To be honest I haven’t made a lot of decisions in the past,” admitted Fjord.  “People suggest things and I just kind of go along for the ride.  Not usually the one taking the reins in these situations.”

“I wouldn’t even know what to suggest,” Caduceus answered with a chuckle.

“That’s okay,” Fjord said, letting his hands drift down Caduceus’ arms until they were able to grasp the firbolg’s gently.  “Let me…”

Delicately, like he was holding something fragile, Fjord guided Caduceus’ hands to where he wanted them: one in the small of his back, the other cupping the back of his head.  As they moved, he shifted his body so that his legs were spread, and slotted themselves on either side of Caduceus’ thigh.

“There we go,” he hummed, “Comfortable?”

Caduceus nodded.  “What should I do now?”

“Let’s see… I like kissing, honestly there’s no place I don’t like putting my mouth,” Fjord explained, his lips now hovering close to Caduceus’ ear.  “I like it when people touch my chest, but my nipples can be real sensitive so we’ll ease into that.  And I… really like it when my hair gets pulled.”

“Is that a pleasurable thing?” Caduceus asked, feeling his fingers softly entwined in Fjord’s hair and suddenly aware of why Fjord had put them there.

“Think of it like the brush earlier,” Fjord said softly, “but just a touch rougher.”

“I see,” replied Caduceus.  “And what will you do?”

“I’m gonna rub myself against your skinny-ass thigh,” Fjord laughed, and Caduceus’ could hear the smallest hint of a growl in the half orc’s tone.  “Warm myself up, and see if I can find what you like too.  Let you get used to having someone so close in this context.”

Caduceus nodded, and he felt Fjord’s thick thighs flex around his own.

“You know what to say if I do something you don’t like?”

“Red.”  Caduceus answered clearly and calmly.

Fjord looked him over, and met his eyes softly.  “We can stop at any time.  This is like... practice, you don’t have to feel pressured to do anything.  Do you want to try it?”

Caduceus nodded with a smile.  “Green.”

At the signal Fjord’s body moved forward, pushing Caduceus gently back so that he was resting against the edge of the tub once more, and he let an arm curl around Caduceus’ neck while the other dropped between them, palming Caduceus’ semi-erect cock and pressing it against his soft belly.  Caduceus followed suit, letting his fingers close in Fjord’s hair while his other hand rubbed the small of Fjord’s back.  He could feel Fjord shifting his weight, moving his body to position himself over his offered thigh as he pulled himself closer to Caduceus.  Caduceus relaxed into it, letting Fjord position his body how he needed until Fjord’s mouth rested against the place where Caduceus neck and shoulder met.

He didn’t know exactly what to expect, but Fjord seemed to know what he was doing.  Pressing his lips to Caduceus’ pulse, Fjord closed his palm around Caduceus’ cock and rocked his hips, dragging his hot center over Caduceus’ thigh.  The water made the movement slow but smooth, and Caduceus imagined that Fjord probably was very wet down there aside from the bath.  He could feel Fjord’s pulse in his thighs, and the drag of his cock where it made contact as his hips rose and fell, grinding his body against Caduceus, hand working loosely over the firbolg cock now pressed between their bellies.

“It’s all about the hips,” Fjord breathed, mouthing along Caduceus’ throat with soft kisses and gentle nips.  He rolled his body once more, and Caduceus felt the soft squeeze of Fjord’s thighs around him.  “Tell me what you’re feeling.”

“I feel warm,” Caduceus answered, letting his hand on the small of Fjord’s back dig his fingers in softly.  “I feel the way your body is tensing and relaxing.  It feels… strange.  Intimate.”

“I mean it is intimate… I feel your heart pounding,” Fjord answered, his tusks nudging softly into the hollow of Caduceus’ throat.  “Are you nervous?”

“A-a little,” Caduceus admitted, petting softly at Fjord’s hair.

“I’m not going to do anything without your permission,” Fjord assured him, his body rolling against him once more.  “Right now I’m just letting your body feel another body moving next to it.  Just relax and focus on how it feels.”

He did.  He focused on the way Fjord’s thighs tightened with each roll of his hips, dragging himself against Caduceus with long, careful breaths.  The strength it required to hold himself up and lower himself down could be felt with each movement, and Caduceus wondered why Fjord had chosen this position to start with.

“Does… does it feel good to be on my thigh like that?” Caduceus asked.

“The fur is new,” Fjord laughed, but he punctuated it with another flex of his thighs as he shifted his hips once more.  “Kinda like grinding against a blanket.  But it’s… nice.”

“Is it the friction that feels good?” Caduceus wondered.

“Y-yeah,” Fjord responded, letting his hips pull through a particularly slow drag.  “Does the friction feel good for you?”

Caduceus focused in on the way his cock was rubbing against Fjord’s belly, his warm palm stroking on the other side.  It did feel good, though Caduceus wasn’t sure if it was the warmth or the friction that made it so nice.  Yesterday he had been so fogged over he hadn’t had time to even realize what was actually occurring beyond pleasure , but now that he was easing into it he was aware of what he was feeling, and why he was feeling it.

“I think so,” Caduceus mused.  “Does sex usually involve so much… rubbing?”

“I mean it depends on what you like,” Fjord answered with a huff of laughter.  “Some people like friction, some people like pressure.  Some people like pain , you know?”

“Oh I remember that from some of Jester’s books,” Caduceus replied.  “I don’t think I would like that, but it’s hard to say without experiencing it.”

Fjord laughed.  “Yeah I don’t think people know if they like it until they try it.  Probably too much for your first time, though.”

Caduceus paused at that.  “I honestly don’t know how to do this…” he took a deep breath.  Fjord was here to help, and he trusted Fjord to be honest with him, not to tease him for his inexperience.  That’s why they were here, because they trusted each other.  “How… how do people know what to do?”

“They try things,” Fjord answered calmly.  “And they talk with each other about what they do and don’t like.  And they listen to their bodies.  Try listening to yours.”

Fjord pressed his mouth once more to Caduceus’ neck, and Caduceus felt his head fall back against the edge of the tub.  Closing his eyes, he tried to empty his head to find that space he had slipped into yesterday.  

This experience was natural, his urges were natural, his feelings were natural… She made them both, and She made them well.  Their bodies were temples , and they... were animals .  A part of everything, a part of Her.  He just had to let go, to listen to what his body was telling him.

He just had to be.

Caduceus felt his hips roll up to meet Fjord’s motions, almost on their own.

“There we go,” Fjord cooed, kissing Caduceus’ cheek as he gave Caduceus’ cock a gentle, reassuring squeeze.  “Nice job, beautiful, you’re doing great.”

His hips shifted again, and Caduceus felt his cock pulse with his heart.  “She’s showing me the way.”

“I suppose nature is the best teacher,” Fjord laughed, and moved his head to kiss Caduceus’ lips softly.  

The fingers in Fjord’s hair tightened, and Caduceus could hear a soft rumble in Fjord’s chest that made him feel warm .  They moved together for a bit, hips shifting as Fjord carefully kissed and palmed, and Caduceus felt Fjord’s heart speeding up with his.  Finally Caduceus felt his hips twitch harder than they had before, and his legs spasmed in the water, almost throwing Fjord off balance, but nothing else seemed to happen.  Fjord stopped moving, but both of their hearts were racing .

“You feeling okay, darling?” Fjord whispered, and Caduceus nodded, eyes still closed.  “Think you’re ready to head back to the bed?”

Fluttering his eyes open, Caduceus looked into Fjord’s soft expression.  “A-are you…”

“ No no no , we’re not there yet, Ducey,” Fjord assured him as he sat back, but Caduceus already missed the warm closeness of his body more than anything else.  “We’ve got lots of time.”

“B-but I didn’t…” Caduceus felt heavy, head spinning.  In their previous encounters there had been a release , an edge he had reached and tipped over, but...  “Nothing happened.  D-did I do something wrong?”

“Shh it’s fine darling,” came Fjord’s soft response as he gently untangled Caduceus’ hands from around him.  “We weren’t doing much, and sometimes it’s nice to not get all the way there right away.  You’re not fully worked up yet, I don’t think your hormones have kicked in.  And anyway, I think it would be nicer to do this in that really soft bed, you know?”

“I-I see,” replied Caduceus, feeling a knot he did not realize had formed in his stomach quickly untangled itself.  He had been worried, but about what he wasn’t sure.

“You’re doing great,” Fjord assured him.  “This was nice, and I'm having fun.  Come on…” He got to his feet, letting the water roll off his emerald skin as he stepped from the tub.  He grabbed a towel from the basket, wrapping it around his waist before extending a hand to help Caduceus up.  Standing, Caduceus felt the water clinging to his fur, pulling him back towards the warmth of the tub, but he resisted it’s call, knees straightening.  He stood, dripping and cool in the center of the tub, and reached for the towel that Fjord offered him.

“I’m gonna go get the bed ready,” Fjord said softly, letting Caduceus squeeze his hand gently before releasing the towel. “You get yourself dry and join me when you’re comfortable.  We got all day, so take your time.”

And as Caduceus watched Fjord leave, still dripping wet himself as he held the towel around his waist, Caduceus couldn’t help but feel a small twinge of affection for the man taking care of him.  Fjord was a wonderful friend, but a wonderful person as well.  And now that Caduceus felt comfortable with his role in this, he could appreciate Fjord’s kindness in all this.  Fjord had been so nervous about hurting Caduceus but...  He reached up once more to feel the messy braid Fjord had finished for him, and felt safe .  

He was always safe with Fjord.

Chapter Text

Drying off took a few minutes, but Caduceus took his time as Fjord had suggested, making sure every drop of water still clinging to his fur was attended to.  His fur was mussed, sticking up in a way it really only did after being wet that gave him a fluffy appearance, but he knew Fjord wouldn’t say anything.  Still, he did at least grab his brush and try to tame some of the more unruly areas on his arms and chest.

“Are you ready?” Caduceus asked, moving to the door.  He glanced out to see Fjord standing beside the bed, back to the washroom and using his own towel to finish drying off.  The blankets and sheets on the bed had been tucked down, and Fjord had grabbed a few additional pillows so they both could be comfortable.  Caduceus took a moment to appreciate Fjord from behind, his beautiful back muscles, the gentle line of his hips and waist, and his lovely bottom.  

Caduceus had never considered himself what Jester would describe as an “ass man,” but he was very aware of the fact that Fjord was especially gifted in that department.  The bright green and the generous curve of it very much reminded Caduceus of a nearly-ripe fruit, begging for a squeeze to test how firm it was.

His eyes lingered a little too long, and Fjord finally glanced over his shoulder at him.

“Ready if you are,” Fjord answered with a grin.

Caduceus stepped out of the washroom, towel over his shoulders.

“How…. how do I know if I am?”

“That’s a good question,” Fjord replied, his expression immediately going from playful to soft.  “It will be different for you than it is for me.”

“How do you feel when you do this?”

“Sometimes… hmm… sometimes I just really care about the person, and I want them to feel good,” explained Fjord, carefully walking over to Caduceus with a hand extended.  “Sometimes I want to feel good, and I think the person I’m with can do that for me.  Sometimes I feel like I’m in love and I want to express that, and sometimes I don’t want to feel anything and that’s the whole point.”

“That’s… confusing,” Caduceus admitted.  “How do you know which one it is?”

“Honestly sometimes I don’t,” Fjord said with a soft laugh.  “One of the bad things about this is your body can overwrite your brain.  That can be good, it helps you feel less nervous and more excited, but it can also push down caution and common sense, and that can lead to problems later.”

“Oh.  I… I feel like I owe you an apology for what I said when you and Avantika…” Caduceus’ words trailed off.  “I didn’t realize it was that complicated.”

Fjord finally reached Caduceus’ side, taking his hand.  “No you were right, that was a bad decision,” Fjord answered, “It was a calculated risk, and I thought I could get an advantage in our situation, but I was wrong.”

“It seems so much more simple from the outside,” Caduceus laughed.  “But now that I’m here making the decision I see what you mean.”

“Oh, I hope you don’t see the prospect of sleeping with me as bad as Avantika,” Fjord chuckled.  “I know I’m terrible but hopefully it’s a little easier to-”

“Oh no no Fjord,” Caduceus assured him, squeezing his hand.  “I just meant… the decision to be intimate in general.  I thought it was a simple question of yes or no, and it had always been a no for me, but now I see there are a lot of factors in play for people.  I can see why it takes people a while to realize how they feel.”

“If it’s still a no we can work with that,” soothed Fjord.  “I have no expectations, I’m here to help.”

“I know,” Caduceus affirmed.

“What factors would you consider important to deciding if you’re ready?” asked Fjord.

“I guess…  If I feel safe, if I feel cared for, and… if I trust the person I’m with.”

Fjord squeezed his hand once again.  “And do you feel those things right now?”

Caduceus nodded.

“Then I would say you’re ready,” said Fjord, gently pulling Caduceus toward the bed.  “But if any of those things change in even the smallest way, what do we say?”

“Red,” Caduceus answered, letting himself be drawn forward.

“And then we talk about what you’re feeling and decide if we should continue,” Fjord explained, leading Caduceus by the hand across the bedroom floor.

“Is that something everyone does in these relationships?” asked Caduceus.

“ No .”  Fjord’s response was firm and short.  “Not in my experience.”

Caduceus knew better than to poke at that particular statement right now.  He decided on a different question.

“Is this… strange for you?”

“What, casual sex?” Fjord asked.

“No.”  Caduceus took a moment to gather his thoughts.  “Sex without…  feelings I guess.”

“Ducey we’ve been over this,” Fjord answered.  “I do have feelings for you, and those feelings are that I care about you very much and want to help.”

“No I mean… from me,” Caduceus explained.

“Caduceus.” Fjord raised a hand to Caduceus’ cheek, cupping it softly.  “Caduceus I know you care about me.  Common tongue is so bad at this, we only have the word ‘love’ to describe a really broad range of things.  But if you’ve taught me anything it’s that we get to decide what those words mean to us.  So maybe we don’t ‘love’ each other like Jester’s bodice rippers, but we love each other in a way that is unique to us.  And if you’re comfortable with it, I am too.”

Caduceus smiled.  “Thank you Fjord.  I’m just very nervous.”

“Of course you are!” Fjord chuckled, “You’re about to go to bed with the notorious Captain Tusktooth.”

“I wouldn’t want to disappoint such a worldly captain,” Caduceus laughed in response.

“You can’t disappoint me Caduceus,” Fjord said, eyes bright.  “Are you ready to go?”

Caduceus squeezed Fjord’s hand once again.

“Alright then, lead the way.”

Caduceus looked at the soft downy bed and thought about how it had felt to sleep alone in it, and how much better things had felt when Fjord was laying beside him.  Fjord was right of course, they’d talked through this enough that he was certain he wanted to do this with him.  His cock was pulsing once more with that urge, the urge to be touched.  This was natural.  This was a part of his body's needs.

But it didn’t mean making that leap wasn’t nerve wracking.

Climbing onto the bed, feeling like he was all gangly limbs and bones, Caduceus managed to find a spot on the far end without feeling too foolish.  Laying on his back, he stayed still and listened to his quiet breathing as Fjord followed suit, laying down on his side, one arm propping up his head so he could look the firbolg’s face over.

“This felt a lot easier yesterday,” Caduceus laughed bashfully, and Fjord smiled.

“Yesterday you were already loopy on hormones,” Fjord assured him.  "When they kick in again your nerves will quiet."

“It’s strange, you’re so easily flustered with the others... the other day you could barely speak about this but now that we’re here you’re... calm,” Caduceus noted.  “You’re much more confident in bed.”

“Oh I wouldn’t say that ,” Fjord said, ruddy blush in his cheeks once more.  “I just… being the stoic one is kinda what I’m best at here.”

Caduceus’ ears perked up.  “Oh?”

“Sometimes people do... play acting in the bedroom,” Fjord explained.  “You asked me what I like to do here, but people usually just expect me to take on the role of an obedient, strong, silent type because of how I look.  So I do.  Makes partners more comfortable with…” he gestured at himself as if that answered any questions for Caduceus. 

He didn't really understand, anyone who spent time with Fjord would be more than comfortable with him.

“Do you like playing that part?” Caduceus asked kindly.

“Sometimes yeah,” replied Fjord, “But that’s where the confidence comes from - it’s practiced, a part of the mask.”

“I hope you know you don’t have to wear a mask for me,” Caduceus assured him.  “You do what feels comfortable for you, and I will do the same.”

Fjord blinked, and then took a deep breath.

“May I kiss you?”

Caduceus took a moment to consider, then nodded.  “Green.”

Fjord leaned over him and gave the most tender, gentle kiss yet.  Instantly Caduceus felt butterflies fluttering in his chest and belly, a nervous and giddy feeling he was growing more accustomed too.  Another pulse in his loins, and Caduceus felt his form curl towards Fjord so that more of their bodies were touching.  Fjord kissed softly a few more times, moving across Caduceus’ cheek to put his mouth close to his ear.

“You’re starting again,” he breathed.

Another warm pulse, the fluttering and tingling sensation.  Caduceus nodded.  “How can you tell?”

“I can smell you,” Fjord reminded him, another tinge of a growl playing in his voice.  Caduceus shuddered, that same wonderful feeling from this morning of this being right and good running over him, butterflies nesting into every space inside him.  “Your musk has been getting stronger all morning, since I woke up to you rubbing your scent on me.”

Caduceus blushed at the reminder.  “I’m sorry I-“

“Don’t be sorry,” Fjord answered, rubbing his nose against the line of Caduceus’ jaw.  “You smell good to me, and it feels good to you.  That’s why we’re here, right?  To feel good.”

“Yes,” Caduceus replied, turning his head to meet Fjord’s gaze.  “It feels good when we kiss.”

“Then we should do that some more,” answered Fjord with a grin, letting a hand come to rest on Caduceus’ belly.  “Tell me where you want me.”

Caduceus took Fjord’s hand and pulled gently, leading Fjord over to him so that the half-orc’s chest was resting against his own.  Letting Fjord’s body drape over him, Caduceus gave Fjord a tentative kiss, Fjord kissed back, pulling back for a moment for Caduceus to nod before he continued.  Gentle, soft kisses, barely brushing his tusks against the seam of Caduceus’ mouth. Never too fast or too hard, exactly as leisurely and warm as Caduceus needed to get a feel for it, to enjoy it, and to relax.  To ruminate in these feelings, these hormones.  It felt like time had slowed down to a point where it no longer mattered, that he was welcome to stay in this space as long as he wanted without consequence.  He sighed dreamily, and Fjord pulled back and smiled at him.  It was a playful, smug grin, and Caduceus loved to see it.

“You have such a devious look about you,” Caduceus said, putting a hand on Fjord’s back.  “What are you thinking?”

“How would you feel about a blowjob?” Fjord asked casually, but Caduceus could tell he was eager and excited.  The firbolg cocked his head in curiosity.

“I don’t know how I feel about that, I’m not even totally sure what it is ,” Caduceus replied.  “What would it entail?”

Fjord flushed.  “Uh, it… means I use my mouth…” Caduceus could feel his face scrunch up in confusion - wasn’t he already doing that?  But he could see that Fjord was trying very hard to keep a serious face and not erupt into giggles at his expression, so he waited for Fjord to finish.  “Down there.”

Oh .  Oh .  “Do people enjoy that?”

“I mean, I enjoy doing it,” Fjord shrugged.  “Haven’t heard any complaints when someone lets me.”

“Do these-” Caduceus carefully put a hand to Fjord’s jaw, running his thumb over his soft bottom lip, now plumped from kissing, and gently, delicately over the rough tip of each tusk, “- scare people away?”

Fjord’s eyes darted downwards.

“I’m sorry,” Caduceus realized a moment too late.  “I said something inappropriate, didn’t I?”

“No no,” Fjord answered quickly.  “It’s a fair question.”  He cleared his throat.  “A lot of people are scared of them, yeah, and it’s one of the many reasons I used to file them.  But I’ve never hurt anyone with them.  At least…” Another devious grin.  “Unless they ask me to.”

Caduceus put a hand on Fjord’s cheek.  “I think they are rather handsome,” Caduceus assured him.  “And I know you won’t hurt me.  I’d be willing to try this with you.  What should I…” his voice trailed off as he tried to find the words.  “What should I do ?”

“See that’s what’s nice about this is you don’t necessarily have to do anything,” Fjord explained, rolling off Caduceus’ chest so he could move further down the bed.  “If it feels good it’s okay to sit back and enjoy it, I’ll keep myself entertained.”

Positioning himself between Caduceus’ long legs took a little negotiation, but eventually Fjord found a comfortable spot laying on his belly while Caduceus spread his legs around him.  Opening his legs had made the dull throbbing in his genitals more prominent, and Fjord glanced at Caduceus’ cock, already beading precum before even being touched, before grinning up at him, putting his chin in his hand as he leaned on the bed.

“So do you just… blow air on it?” Caduceus asked, causing Fjord to erupt into hearty, full laughter.

“Oh gods no, I can see how the name is misleading,” he chuckled, putting his arms under Caduceus’ thighs so he could wrap his hands around to hold his hips.  “No if anything it’s… blow is the wrong word it’s more of a… suck thing.”

“That sounds worse, a ‘suck job’ doesn’t have the same appeal,” Caduceus laughed, feeling Fjord’s warm palms smoothing the fur on his hips.  “I don’t know if I should be frustrated at the person who named it for false advertising, or praising them for the better alternative.”

“How about you just relax and see if you like it first?” Fjord offered.  “We can critique the name when you’re done.”

Caduceus nodded, and Fjord leaned in closer, letting his breath fall on the smooth, intimate skin where Caduceus' cock lay in the seam between his hip and thigh.  Glancing up, he looked at Caduceus for the word.

“Green I suppose.”

Fjord’s tongue was slow in its movements, but the moment it touched down Caduceus immediately understood the appeal of this act.  A tongue was wet and warm and soft , all things that felt nice down there.  Fjord worked gentle kitten licks on the underside of Caduceus’ long cock, constantly glancing up at the firbolg to watch his face for the slightest sign of discomfort.

He did not find any.

Caduceus was shocked to find how even the smallest lick would send fireworks through his entire body, and within moments he was panting and squirming under the attention.  Fjord squeezed his hip and looked up at him, and Caduceus nodded once again.

“It’s good, green , I just didn’t expect it to feel like that ,” he admitted, and Fjord smiled, his grin quirked upward on one side by the scar through his lip.

“Wait until I get my whole mouth on it,” he teased.

Caduceus felt his pulse quicken, his eyes wide as Fjord ducked his head once more and licked a long, careful stripe up his cock, starting just above the knot and ending with another gentle kitten lick on it’s head at the gathering wetness there.  A gasp escaped Caduceus as he stared down his long body at Fjord, who gave him a wink before opening his mouth a little wider and guiding the sensitive head between his lips.

The effect was instantaneous, and Caduceus groaned .  Fjord’s mouth was so warm and inviting, he almost wanted to push his hips up to feel more of it, but that seemed presumptuous.  It felt wonderful .  The gentle motion of Fjord’s warm tongue laving the head as he suckled gently, the soft pressure of tusks on either side giving just a hint of tightness to rub up against, the wet heat of his mouth that felt so safe and enticing and good… Caduceus could see why Fjord thought he was good at this.

His lips, his tongue, his tusks… It seemed as though the Wildmother had made his mouth for it.

Just as it became unbearable to hold still any longer, Fjord popped off him with a delicious wet sound that took his breath away.

“ No , green!” Caduceus gasped, and Fjord patted his hips and laughed gently as he let Caduceus calm down.

“ Easy there big guy,” Fjord said softly.  “Just checking on you.  Take a breath.”

Caduceus felt his fur settle - he had not even noticed his hackles were up.  He took a deep breath, and held it inside him for a moment before releasing.  “It feels very different than a hand,” Caduceus finally answered.

“Different bad or different good?”

“Good I think,” Caduceus answered.  “I don’t see what you get out of it though.”

“ Hmmm , I don’t know if that’s something I’m fully going to be able to explain to you,” Fjord admitted, pulling back another inch and delighting at the half-hearted movement Caduceus’ body made to follow him.  “It’s like… meditation I guess.”

Caduceus’ ears perked up.  “Oh?”

“Yeah.  When we meditate you tell me to empty my head and be here in the moment so I can feel the Wildmother’s presence,” Fjord explained, his eyes soft.  “The same kind of thing happens when I do this.  Head empty, focused on the now, feeling your body’s presence.”

“Fjord that’s... actually quite beautiful,” Caduceus replied, giving Fjord a mischievous grin.  “Perhaps we should consider incorporating this more into your worship, since you seem more devoted to this than holding still for prayer.”

Fjord pinched Caduceus' hip as he stuck out his tongue.  Caduceus responded by sticking out his tongue too.  They both laughed.

“I understand though,” Caduceus continued.  “Yesterday there were moments for me that felt more like prayer than bodily process.  I suppose that is just the Wildmother being present in us, in our temples.”

“I don’t know how I feel about Her watching us right now,” laughed Fjord.  “Feels a little blasphemous.”

“Her holy Paladin and Her devoted Cleric together, enjoying the bodies She gave them?” Caduceus replied, a genuine fond smile on his face.  “Fjord, that's high praise for Her.  She welcomes this.”

“ Oh .”

“But if it makes you feel better, She’s probably not literally watching,” Caduceus said with a smile.  “At least, not in the way you mean.”

Fjord’s eyes were soft once more.  “Caduceus you are literally the only person I know who could turn a blow job into a prayer circle.” He laughed, smoothing his thumbs over the place where long furry legs became thin bony hips.  “Actually I take that back, Jester probably could as well.”

That sent them both into a fit of giggles.

Catching his breath at last, Caduceus hummed thoughtfully.  “The name is still terrible .”

“Who said you were done ?” Fjord scolded, leaning back in for a kiss on the side of Caduceus’ cock that made it twitch in response.  “I haven’t got to show you my trick yet.”

Caduceus cocked his head, unsure what that could possibly mean.

“Just be sure to say something if you get overwhelmed,” Fjord responded cryptically, pulling one hand out from under Caduceus’ hips so that he could take hold just above Caduceus’ knot.  Even the small brush of his fingers on the sensitive bulb sent a jolt through Caduceus’ spine.  “I won’t be able to walk you through this step by step as easily.  I’ll do my best but… it’s rude to talk with your mouth full.”

At that Fjord descended, and Caduceus thought all breath would leave him forever.

Caduceus watched as his member slid between Fjord’s lips, and back out.  Fjord would descend a fraction and pull back , letting Caduceus feel the drag of tongue and lips and tusks as he did.  Every inch given up feeling tortuous and sweet in the most delicious way.  Then he would descend again, lower .  Each bob of his head brought Fjord a little further down, brought him in a little deeper , and Caduceus was certain he could feel himself hit the back of Fjord’s throat.  

His brain was fuzzy, but while Caduceus did not know much about blow jobs, he understood anatomy .  He was fairly long, and Caduceus knew that eventually Fjord would not have enough space in his mouth for more.

And yet…

A shift in his position, and then Fjord was descending further .  Caduceus felt his hands scramble to Fjord almost on their own, one grasping at a hand on his hip, the other coming to cup the back of Fjord’s head.  It was… it was tight .  Warm and wet, warm and wonderfully wet.  He could feel Fjord’s puffs of breaths through his nostrils and every subtle shift of muscle in his throat as the head of his cock worked its way back and forth, back and forth, back…   Gods, he felt like Fjord was swallowing him whole .  Fjord paused with his lips dangerously close to Caduceus’ knot, and looked up at him through his eyelashes, letting his hand on Caduceus’ hip entwine with Caduceus’ grasping fingers and squeeze.  Caduceus squeezed back.

The muscles in Fjord’s throat squeezed as well as he swallowed.

Something was escaping from him, gasps of the butterflies perched in his chest leaving him in soft sighs and moans.  Caduceus felt his eyes roll back as Fjord swallowed once more, and dreamily wondered if the people who were afraid of Fjord’s tusks knew what they had missed .  That they had denied themselves an experience , one that Caduceus was sure he’d remember for a long time, long after these feelings had left him. It was a gift, a gift he was uncertain how to return.  Still feeling cotton-headed, he distantly remembered what Fjord said about having his hair pulled , and he tightened his fingers into the dark hair they had been tangled in at the nape of his neck.

Fjord moaned, and that was an entirely new thing too.  Maybe a little too new.

“Fff-fjord wait.”

Instantly Fjord was squeezing his hand.  Caduceus looked down to see Fjord’s eyes locked on him, not moving another inch, and he realized Fjord was waiting to hear if Caduceus was about to say red.

“Th-this is a lot and I need-,” Caduceus tried to find the right words but they were just out of reach.  He didn’t really know what he needed, but he didn’t want Fjord to wait there with his airway obstructed.  “I need a moment.  Please.”

Fjord slowly drew back, and Caduceus could feel his cock protest at the withdrawal from the warmth and heat of Fjord’s throat.  When he had his mouth cleared, Fjord coughed and looked up at Caduceus, concerned.

“A-are you alright?” he rasped, and Gods, his voice was hoarse.  Was that normal?  It sounded amazing on him, his tones already so low and comforting that the rasp of it just added a texture that Caduceus wanted to feel .  Like sea-weathered wood on the beach, a deep richness and smoothness that felt good on the hands.

Caduceus let the hand that had been in Fjord’s hair untangle and pull forward to caress his cheek. “That must be hard on your throat, I thought you could use some air.”

Fjord laughed.  “Caduceus I promise you I was fine, I’m not going to choke myself to death.”  He squeezed the hand he still had fingers entwined with.  “Be honest, was it too much?”

“It was a lot ,” Caduceus admitted.  “I don’t think it was too much, I just didn’t realize how much it would be.”  He squeezed Fjord’s hand once more as assurance, and smiled. “It felt fantastic, but I don’t know how long I could keep calm, and that didn’t seem like a safe position for you to be in.  What happens when I…?” again, his words trailed off, but he knew Fjord understood his meaning.

“I mean, if you warn me I can swallow,” Fjord answered.  “Let you pull back a little so I don’t choke.  Or if you don’t want that I can pull off entirely.  Some people think it’s sexy to get some on the face.”

“What do you like?”

Fjord blushed at that.  “I uh…  I mean I like all of it but… I don’t say no to swallowing, long as you give me a heads up.”

His voice was still so hoarse.  Caduceus brushed his fingers on Fjord’s lips and cast a light healing spell.  Fjord looked confused as the tingle of magic washed over him.

“For your throat.”

“Ah, thank you , but just so you know I like the feeling of a well fucked throat,” Fjord teased, and that made Caduceus laugh and blush.  “You want to go again?  I won’t take you as deep, just enough to get you off again.  You must be getting close.”

Yes , his loins felt warm and tight.  This seemed to be happening much quicker now, far quicker than it ever did when he had experimented on his own.

“I think so but…  Fjord?” Caduceus said.

“Hm?”

“I am very certain now that the name is terrible,” Caduceus confirmed, breathless and giddy. “They should change it.”

Fjord sighed dramatically. “I guess it’s official then,” he laughed.  “We’ll have to send a letter to the appropriate party.”

“We can contact the people who write Jester’s books,” Caduceus mused.  “They seem to be the authorities on these things.”

“Do you have a suggestion for an alternative?”

“No I think it’s best to leave that to the experts,” Caduceus said with a serious nod.  “I’m still a novice in my studies.”

“Well let's get one more lesson in,” Fjord chuckled.

“ Green .”

Fjord’s mouth was clever in many ways.  He was a brilliant conversationalist, a talented actor, a gentle kisser, and now Caduceus could add this to the list.  He let his eyes drift shut and just enjoyed the feeling of Fjord’s soft tongue, the warm lips, the tight gap in his tusks.  It wasn’t long before he was on the edge, and after a hurried, breathy warning to Fjord he was tipping over into a release.

True to his word, Fjord swallowed.  It was a little messy, but he looked like he enjoyed it anyway.

“ Thank you,” Caduceus sighed, feeling his body go soft in most places but still not in the one place that mattered.  He felt like mush, but in a nice way.  Still, the one place he was hard was certain to make itself known to him in every thudding heartbeat.  Fjord looked at Caduceus’ still erect member and sighed dramatically.

“I think we’ve got a long day ahead of us.”

Chapter Text

The exhaustion was something Caduceus didn’t think he would ever forget.

The way his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest every time he approached the edge.  The way it felt as though there was not enough air in the world to satisfy him.  The way it seeped into his bones, his muscles, and yet still his body was awake and craving more .

Fjord helped him come two more times before insisting they take a break.  As loath as his body was to stop, he also desperately needed it.  His knot was pulsing , and he could almost feel it swelling with each thundering heartbeat, demanding more more more , but the rest of him was tired , so tired, and needed rest.

Fjord was talking.  Caduceus could feel the low bass of his voice in his chest, even if he couldn’t understand him right now.  Fjord was a thousand miles away from him, standing beside the bed, no longer touching Caduceus… He was probably using the sending stone on the dresser to order room service.  Caduceus tried to listen but his brain was foggy and heavy, and he writhed in the sheets seeking the contact of Fjord’s skin once more.  This was agony .  This was heavenly .  He couldn’t understand how others dealt with these feelings all the time .

“They don’t , you know,” Fjord answered.  “You’re in rut , it’s different.”

Ah , he must have said that out loud.

Fjord came back to the bed and sat next to him.  Caduceus could feel his warmth through the sheets, and he found himself curling towards it instinctually.  “They’re sending up food and water,” he said softly.  “I know your body doesn’t want to stop right now, but you made me promise to make sure you eat.”

“Th-thank you,” Caduceus stammered, fingers twisting into the blankets once more.  “I-I understand w-what you meant now.  About f-feeling trapped by your b-body.”

“Everything okay?” Fjord asked softly.

“Everything is wonderful ,” Caduceus sighed, “But it’s a lot.  I do not envy people who feel this way more than once a year.”

Fjord laughed.  “Well, like I said, your situation is a little different.  Hormones are a powerful thing.”

“Indeed,” Caduceus replied, closing his eyes and doing his best to steady his breathing and heart.  “Still… It makes me thankful that my mind does not normally spend so much time occupied with these thoughts.  I don’t know how anyone could get anything done, feeling this way.”

“We manage,” Fjord chuckled, his smile fond.  “But we get more practice with it, I think.

There was a knock at the door, and the sound of something being set just outside.  Fjord nodded to Caduceus, and then stood up, a sheet wrapped around his waist as he headed to the front of the suite.  He returned a moment later, a tray in hand with two large loaves of bread, two cups, and a large pitcher of water.

“Here let me…” he unloaded one of the cups and loaves onto the dresser along with the pitcher, and brought the tray over to Caduceus in the bed.  Shifting, he did his best to sit up against the headboard, taking the tray carefully.

The bread was actually a bread bowl , and in it was what looked like a delicious soup.  Thick and creamy, with bright pops of color where vegetables peeked through.  The smell was delightful, earthy and savory and full of spices.

“They didn’t have too many ready-made vegetarian options,” Fjord admitted, handing Caduceus a spoon as he poured him a glass of water, “But soup sounded easy to eat... and hearty.”

“Thank you Fjord,” Caduceus said, feeling his heart swell once again at the kindness that was being shown to him.  “This looks delicious.”

“I tend to think everything looks good when I’m in it,” Fjord chuckled.  “Definitely have made some… interesting food orders in my time.  This at least looks healthy.”

Oh, the cravings .  That was right, Fjord had mentioned that Orc blooded folks like him experience food cravings when in heat.  Carefully he took a spoonful of the soup - though his hands were shaking, he found he was ravenous enough to not let his hand lose a drop of it.

It was delicious, and in a way reminded Caduceus of home.

“What’s the strangest craving you’ve ever had?” Caduceus asked between spoonfuls, hurriedly shoveling soup into his mouth as he realized just how hungry he was.  Fjord had mentioned that the hormones pushed everything else down , and now he was seeing that included his appetite - he hadn’t even noticed how hungry he was until Fjord had forced him to stop and think about it.

“This is going to sound awful but… raw meat ,” Fjord said, equal parts amused and disgusted.

“That’s… unusual,” Caduceus agreed.

“I’ve definitely ordered some extra rare stakes,” Fjord sighed.  “I read somewhere that food cravings are tied to what your body needs the most, I guess an orc in heat really needs the protein.”

“That makes sense though,” Caduceus replied.  “Didn’t you say that reproductive cycles are tied to calorie intake?  Uncooked meat is probably very good for that specific thing.”

“Well it’s not my favorite thing,” chuckled Fjord, “Definitely don’t want to be eating it outside of a heat, that’s for sure.”

They sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the food.  Caduceus was quick to start tearing off pieces of bread to dip into his soup, enjoying the almost sour flavor of the dough in contrast with the savory broth.  He drank water freely, and Fjord was quick to refill his glass whenever it got low.

“How are you feeling?” Fjord asked.

“I feel good,” Caduceus answered.  “ Tired .  Like I’ve been working in the garden for hours.  How about you?”

Fjord seemed a little surprised to even be asked, but answered quickly.  “Good.  Haven’t been as… stimulated as you, but it’s certainly fun to be a part of.”

“Do you need to be stimulated?” asked Caduceus, looking concerned.  “We’ve been so focused on me , I really should be thinking about if you-“

“Caduceus,” Fjord chuckled, smiling warmly.  “I promise, you don’t need to worry about me.  I’m getting there.  You’re going to take far more attention than I am to be satisfied, it’s okay that I’m not getting equal time.”  He laughed.  “I know this is not something you’d be very familiar with, but most people can only orgasm once or twice before they have to rest.  You just did three in an hour, and you’re still hard.”

“ Oh ,” Caduceus said.  “So you’re saying… It's another aspect of the bloom then.  You’re not just doting on me.”

“I am doting on you,” Fjord teased.  “But yes, it’s because you need it.”

“I see…” Caduceus took another bite of soup-soaked bread.  “But… did you want to?”

“Did I want to…?”

“Be stimulated,” Caduceus answered.  “You said you don’t need it but do you want it?”

“I’m definitely getting some ideas on what we can do next,” Fjord laughed, and Caduceus cocked an eyebrow.  “Finish your soup, I’m not saying more until we’ve both eaten.”

He was already eating rather quickly, but Caduceus had to admit his curiosity made him eat just a little faster.  Fjord was taking his time though, drinking lots of water between spoonfuls of soup.  For a moment Caduceus almost wondered if he was teasing, taking his time when he knew Caduceus’ hormones craved more .  But then Fjord’s eyes met with his, and the expression in them remained as fond and kind as ever… and Caduceus realized he was taking his time to encourage him to do the same.

They were in no rush.  They had nowhere to be.  Relax , enjoy, and take a deep breath.

The soup tasted even better once he did.

“Alright, so here’s a question I’m certain you’ve never been asked,” Fjord said, tearing off a hunk of bread from his bowl.  “What positions are you familiar with?”

Sitting immediately came to mind, but Caduceus knew that wasn’t what he was being asked.  The best he could manage was a confused “I have definitely never been asked that before.”

“Thought so,” Fjord replied.  “Alright, there are different ways to position the body to allow for things like comfort or pleasure.  I’ve got an idea on one we can use to help you get used to moving your hips.”

“Oh.  Am I supposed to do that more?” he asked.

“You don’t have to but I definitely want you to when we get to the main event,” Fjord grinned.  “Less work for me.”

“This will not be the... main event then?” Caduceus replied, his tone curious.

“I suspect that if we have full-on sex you’re going to knot me whether either of us is ready for it,” Fjord explained.  “And as you said before that will be… a lot .  For both of us.  I like a challenge but I’m no fool.”

Caduceus could only nod.  He didn’t fully understand the intricacies of this, but he did know about anatomy.  Firbolg knots were designed for tying - a process of locking together two partners to ensure that fertilization occurred, and to maximize bonding time for the couple.  Firbolg fertility is low - they are a long lived race and so have less children in their lifetimes, so locking a mated couple together for a time after sex gave a pair the best chance of concieving.

“I understand,” Caduceus said.  “If I knot you, that will most likely be the end of your ability to assist me.  We should delay it as long as possible.”

“Oh?”

“When Clarabelle was conceived, my mother and father stayed tied for an hour, then stayed in bed recovering for two days ,” Caduceus explained.  He noted the way Fjord’s face turned ruddy.  “Are you alright?”

“Yes yes!” Fjord blurted out, reaching for his glass of water to take a large drink, “I just… forgot what you said about living in a small house .”

“My aunt made breakfast that morning and told us the Wildmother could bless us with a sibling soon,” Caduceus continued with a shrug.  “That mother and father were exhausted from asking Her for a child, and that we shouldn’t disturb them until they are ready.  I didn’t really understand it at the time, I was still pretty young, but I’m sure Colton and Calliope did.”

Fjord’s flushed face said that he understood as well.

“So what were you thinking we should do next?” Caduceus asked.

Fjord snapped out of his daze for a moment. “H-here, let me just…” he set down his glass and hurried back into the entryway.  Caduceus could hear him move some things around before he returned, holding his pack in hand.  “I’ve got something in here to help out.”

Setting his bag down, he rooted around deep inside, reaching a pocket that seemed to be tucked into the folds of the fabric in such a way as to keep it hidden from the casual prying eye.  From it he withdrew a glass bottle and… oh, there was no other way to describe it.  

A phallus .  Smooth, made of what looked like blown green glass, it was not too dissimilar to the ones they had made for Travellercon, but this one had a bit of a different shape to it.  Tapered, a little larger at the base than at the head.  The bottom of it was flat, and had a lip of some sort to it.  Caduceus wondered what that lip might be for.  Fjord placed both the phallus and the bottle on the dresser.

“Fjord?”

“Ahhh, this is…  this is mine ,” he said, nervous and jittery once more.

“You surprise me, Fjord,” Caduceus chuckled, making sure Fjord knew he was comfortable.  “I would have never suspected you had something like that in your bag.”

“Y-yeah well I make sure to keep it well hidden,” Fjord laughed.  “Can you imagine what would happen if Jester found it?”

“I think she would be delighted by it,” replied Caduceus.  “What do you use it for?”

“It’s, ah… it’s multipurpose,” stammered Fjord.  “We p-probably won’t be using it for what I normally would use it for, but it… makes for a good visual aid.”

Fjord came over to the bed and gestured at Caduceus’ nearly empty tray.  With a nod, Caduceus let him remove it and put it on the dresser once more.  Once done, he gathered up the phallus and bottle, and returned to the bed.  Caduceus moved over a little to make room, and Fjord crawled in once more.

“Okay so… We talked about how pleasure comes from different kinds of stimulation,” Fjord said, speaking a little quickly in his nervousness.  

Caduceus was beginning to see what Fjord meant about the confidence being a mask - it was easy for Fjord to simply do things, not think about them, not vocalize what they may mean, because that was a part of the game.  But to speak them out loud, to give words to it… that’s what made him nervous.  He could act without hesitation, but to speak about what he wanted, what he needed… he supposed this was why the casual banter of the nein set him off so.  Being able to talk so freely about sex, about desire and how it affected you, was not a part of the game for him.  

It was not something he had been allowed to do before.

“Yes, I believe you said things like pressure or friction or pain can cause stimulation,” Caduceus answered, being sure to use clear and concise language to help ease Fjord’s nerves.

“The two big ones are pressure and friction,” Fjord said with a nod.  “Things can get pretty tight down there when… when people make love.”

Caduceus remembered how good it felt when Fjord closed his hand tightly around him, or how Fjord’s body had seemed to shudder closer around his fingers last night.  “I could see that,” he replied.

“So normally you would want to… to get that from penetrative sex,” Fjord said, turning the glass phallus over in his hands as he spoke.  “But there are ways to simulate it.  Create situations that feel similar, but are not fully the same.  Like the blowjob did.”

“I see.”

“So I’m suggesting that…  hell, it’s probably easier to show you,” Fjord sighed.  He rolled onto his side so that he was facing Caduceus.  With the phallus in one hand, he reached behind himself, and slid it nicely between his legs, just above his knees.  Closing his legs, the tip of it poked out, and Caduceus could see the way Fjord’s thick thighs cradled the shape of it in a way that would mirror the tightness of penatrative sex.

“ Oh ,” Caduceus hummed, “Oh I see.”

“And then you just…” Fjord maneuvered the phallus with his hand, pulling it back and forth between his thighs in small thrusts.

“Is that pleasurable for you?” Caduceus asked.

“Well not where I have it now , but a little higher up?” he made a sort of noncommittal shrug.  “Couple it with some heavy petting and grinding, I definitely could get something out of that.”

“So I would… be behind you,” Caduceus mused, sorting out the suggestion in his head.  “And I would move my hips back and forth to get the stimulation.”

“Y-yeah!” Fjord said, smiling.  “Gives you a chance to practice thrusting without putting us at risk of knotting.”

“That is a very good idea,” replied Caduceus.  “Fjord I honestly don’t know what I would have done without you, you’re so much more knowledgeable about these things… I’m glad I agreed to do this with you, I imagine if I had stayed alone as I had intended this would be a lot more frustrating.”

Fjord laughed.  “Happy to help, I guess.  But before we do that we’ll need to do a little prep work…” He extracted the phallus between his legs, and leaned over to place it on the bedside table.  “You ready?”

Caduceus felt his heart pound in his chest before he even had a chance to answer - yes, yes, yes.

“Okay then, let’s get started.”

Chapter Text

The bottle had oil in it.  No particular scent from what Caduceus could tell, not that he had expected any.  Fjord didn’t seem the type to waste his coin on scented oils.  He watched as Fjord briefly tipped the bottle over in his open palm.

“For friction,” he said, clearly nervous, but in a way that also showed excitement and anticipation.  Caduceus wasn’t sure what he meant, until Fjord spread his legs slightly and let his oil covered palm drag over the inside of his thigh.  Ah, for friction .  Caduceus watched carefully as Fjord massaged the oil onto his skin, verdant green thighs glistening in low candlelight.

“Should I…” Caduceus wasn’t really sure what to say, but he gestured at his belly and that seemed to convey the message.  Fjord handed him the bottle.

“Knock yourself out,” he said with a grin.

The oil felt strange in his velvety palm, the short fur soaking it in.  Caduceus realized he would have to be quick if he didn’t want to waste Fjord’s supply.  He drizzled more into his hand, and moved to his still exposed cock.  

A little dribbled onto his belly in his haste, but he was able to slick himself up with minimal mess.  The oil was cool, but it warmed up nicely as he rubbed, and his cock loved the attention after the long pause of their meal.  Caduceus tried to not feel embarrassed at the punched little gasp he made when the circle of his fingers managed to close nicely around the head of him.

He had touched himself before of course, but it had never given him that kind of response.

“You make the most incredible faces,” Fjord said, and it was kind despite the embarrassment Caduceus felt welling up under his skin.  “Rare to see you actually let go and enjoy yourself.”

“I enjoy myself all the time,” Caduceus answered hastily, realizing a moment later how silly that sounded.  Of course Fjord knew that, there was no need to feel ashamed or judged.

“No I meant… you’re so quiet , Caduceus,” Fjord explained, finishing his work by wiping what remaining oil was on his hands into the sheets.  “You’re quiet and you keep to yourself.  It’s wonderful to see you not holding back.”

Caduceus never thought of himself as holding back , but he understood what Fjord meant.  Showing how he felt , rather than just feeling it alone.  All of this, all these new sensations and feelings were too much to keep contained inside him.  He was bubbling over, like a goblet overfilled, but that wasn’t shameful .  It was simply more than he had ever handled before.  Still…

“I worry you… won’t look at me the same after this,” Caduceus admitted sheepishly, “having seen me at these moments of weakness .”

“Duces you’ve seen me at my weakest moments dozens of times,” Fjord chuckled warmly, his voice soft and kind as ever.  “This is nothing like that.  You’ve never been weak.  If anything this is a moment of incredible strength , doing something you’re so unfamiliar with.  Taking care of your body in a new and strange way.”  He met eyes with Caduceus once more.  “Do you want to do this?  With me?”

And oh, the fond way he felt about Fjord, golden eyes looking at him with the care and consideration Fjord had even denied for himself.  

The irony of him comforting Caduceus about holding back his feelings was not lost on either of them.

“Of course,” Caduceus replied.  “I told you, there is no one I would trust more with this.”

With that Fjord grinned, and turned his back to Caduceus.  “Then I’m ready when you are.”

Caduceus took a moment just to get lost in the green of Fjord’s back - he was darkest there, and the color reminded him of moss.  And it was beautiful, the way his skin moved over strong muscles that had formed from years of hard work out at sea, but it was also… calming.  Centering.  Caduceus let himself steady his breathing, and feel himself in his body.  They were here, they were doing this.  He was ready.

“How do I… begin?”

Fjord upturned his palm over his shoulder, still facing away.  “Here, give me your hand.”

Caduceus came closer, placing his hand into Fjord’s open palm, and Fjord ever so gently pulled, forcing Caduceus to press closer into his back.  Immediately he was aware of the warmth of Fjord’s body, especially his soft legs as they too pressed into him and his erection.  With a muffled grunt, he felt Fjord part his thighs, and he reached down with his other hand to gently adjust Caduceus’ cock between them, to slot him into the place where Fjord wanted him.  Then, when he was satisfied with the placement, he closed his legs gently.

It was hot .  Hot and the pressure was soft but overwhelming.  Fjord wasn’t squeezing, but Caduceus could feel his heartbeat anyway, he was so sensitive.  Cradled there, he took another punched breath, trying to focus on what Fjord had told him.  Pressure and friction.  This was an experience of pressure and friction .

Fjord’s voice was soft.  “Put your hands here.”  

Carefully, Caduceus found his hands being directed to Fjord’s hips.  Fingers sinking into soft flesh, he whimpered.  His face felt so hot, like he was out working in the sun for hours.  He felt like burying himself in Fjord’s hair, hiding himself from the embarrassment he suddenly felt, but the smell of Fjord was overwhelming on its own.  Another pitched whimper that he could not control worked its way out of his throat.

“Red or green?”

Caduceus breathed.  “I don’t know…” 

“Deep breaths,” Fjord soothed, “We’re only doing it if you want to do it.  If you want to go back to blowjobs I can handle that.”

“No no I… I don’t know how to explain this,” Caduceus admitted, feeling Fjord’s soft skin under his palms.  It was grounding.  “This is… this is what normal people enjoy.  Why is it… why is it so hard for me?”

“Caduceus, there is no such thing as normal people,” Fjord assured him.  “There are just people .  And some of them want to have sex, and some of them don’t.  This is a natural thing, but it’s also not a required thing.  You of all people should know that the Wildmother makes us all different, and that is beautiful.”

“What if… What if I hate this?  No… What if I like it?”

Fjord put a hand over one of Caduceus’, squeezing softly.  “Then you like it.  Or you don’t,” he assured.  “You’ll still be you .”

That brought Caduceus some comfort, though he couldn’t quite put his finger on why .  There was something about this step, this leap he and Fjord were about to take, that felt different than anything they had done before.  And that scared him, but it also excited him, and he really didn’t know which emotion was stronger.  He let his breath steady, his heart rate slow.

“Okay.  Okay… green .  I’m green.”

“Then show me what those hips of yours can do,” Fjord teased, and Caduceus could hear the grin even though he could not see it.

Holding tight to soft green skin, Caduceus adjusted his body with an experimental thrust.  The appeal of this position was clear immediately - Fjord’s thighs were pliant, and the pressure they created around Caduceus’ cock felt very much like the way his mouth had been.  Tight , smooth, a little bit warm .  With another experimental thrust Caduceus could feel his knot pressing into the back of Fjord’s legs, and that too felt amazing in a way nothing had before.  

He had been avoiding touching it until now for fear of sensitivity.  

He realized he was right to do so.

The knot had swollen to a point that it could not easily slip in between Fjord’s legs, which he kept tightly closed around Caduceus’ cock.  So with every thrust, it was rutting into a soft barrier, and the pressure between his body and Fjord’s felt like lightning up his spine.  Caduceus found himself grinding his hips into Fjord’s, trying to force the bulb of his knot just a little further into the soft warm heat of his thighs.

“Try pulling back more,” Fjord whispered.  “Put some force behind your thrusts.”

“I’ll t-try.”

A slow pull back, and a quick push in.

The oil made it so easy.  The way the sensitive skin of his cock slid easily over Fjord’s thighs, the way the cold air suddenly touching his exposed skin made his breath leave him, the way pushing back in not only returned the warmth and the pressure, but also allowed for the head of his cock to be gently worked too, the skin of it stretching back ever so slightly.

Oh.

It was like something had unlocked inside him.  Something that his body had always understood, but had never had a need for until now.  

The animalistic urge .  

Caduceus had seen animals mate, seen the way their bodies pressed into each other in fast, sharp motions or slow, languid grinds.  Those motions had always seemed strange and foreign to him, something primitive and primal that he didn’t have access to.  He knew that people found it pleasurable too, that the Wildmother made their bodies to experience joy and satisfaction, but he could never understand how that was possible.  How could simply rutting against someone bring you pleasure ?

Now he understood.

Caduceus could feel his hands moving on their own, leaving Fjord’s hips to wrap around his waist.  One hand snaked around his middle, holding Fjord close to him.  The other wandered, moving up and down Fjord’s chest and belly, looking for something that Caduceus didn’t have a word for yet but understood.  Fjord managed to grab one, and put it over his chest.  Distantly, Caduceus remembered how it felt yesterday to have his nipples touched, and let his palm roll over one of Fjord’s.

He was making noises now.  They both were  Small grunts and moans that punctuated each thrust, each press of Caduceus’ knot against him.  When he caught his breath, Caduceus could hear Fjord adding small words of praise.

“Good… just like that… So good , Duces… You’re doing… so good .”

Perhaps if he had been a little more centered, more focused, he would preen at the compliments, but right now Caduceus’ only thoughts were on the way it felt when his knot slammed into the back of Fjord’s thighs.  It was a warm buzz inside his skull, like a bee caught between his ears, and each time they made contact it stung him directly in the brain , sharp and crackling and taking up all of his attention.  It didn’t hurt , but even if it did maybe this was what Fjord meant when he said some find pain pleasurable.

If there is elegance to this, if there is an art or rhythm, Caduceus does not know it.  What he does know is that each thrust is bringing him closer to the edge, and that his eyes are squeezed tightly shut as he buries his face in Fjord’s shoulder.  He felt hot , overwhelmed, overstimulated, and the bee is stinging him again and again but it’s not enough .  He’s right there, he’s right there .  He’s come so many times, why now?  

Why is it so hard now ?

“I can’t….” Caduceus gasped, his mouth brushing against the sweat of Fjord’s skin.  “It’s not… ”

“T-that’s okay,” Fjord grunts, “M-maybe we can… try something else.”

Caduceus slows.  His hips still, and his fingers curl into Fjord’s body.  He wants to keep moving, but he also feels so much it feels bad .  There was pleasure, but there was also something coiling in his gut that felt different than the way it felt before.  He didn’t like it.  He didn’t like the way they were doing this.  The sensations felt nice, but something was wrong .

“I’m sorry,” Caduceus finds himself apologizing before he even knows what for.  “I don’t know why it wasn’t…”

Fjord carefully parts his legs and lets Caduceus slide out before turning over.  He looks flushed, breathless, ruddy as ever, but Caduceus avoids his gaze all the same.  Only now does Caduceus realize how the room smells .  Like… sweat and stale air and that deep earthy scent that Fjord had said was Caduceus .

The buzzing was quieting, and Caduceus was starting to feel other things.  His belly fur was mussed from the oil and sweat pressing into Fjord’s body.  His legs trembling once more like a foal learning to stand.  Fjord’s racing heartbeat felt under the hands Caduceus had now on his back.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers again.

“For what?  You did fine ,” Fjord said, putting a hand to Caduceus’ cheek, trying to direct his gaze.

“Something didn’t… something didn’t feel right,” Caduceus sighed.  “I don’t… I don’t know what but-”

“Did it hurt?” Fjord’s voice was suddenly very serious.  Caduceus shook his head.  “You didn’t say red so I-”

“I didn’t, I… I don’t know how to explain it,” he said.  “Everything felt good, like it did before but… I don’t know, it suddenly was too much.”

“It’s okay,” Fjord said softly.

“I didn’t…  I didn’t even…” a moment, and then something dawned on Caduceus.  He felt his face heat up again in embarrassment.  “D-did you even get any pleasure out of that?  I wasn’t even thinking about…  I was s-so focused on me I-”

“Duces.”

“I’m being so selfish ,” Caduceus gasped.  “I said we would be equals in this, but you keep giving and I keep taking -”

“Caduceus.”

He could hear his heartbeat in his head.  The sound of air filling his lungs with each breath.  He stilled, and waited for Fjord to speak, but the half orc simply took one of Caduceus’ hands, untangling it from behind him so he could guide Caduceus down between his legs.

Fjord’s soaked folds spoke volumes.  If that didn’t, the soft moan Fjord made when Caduceus brushed against his stiff cock made the point crystal clear.

Caduceus met eyes with Fjord at last.

“Don’t worry about me,” Fjord said with a low, sensual growl.  “I enjoyed myself just fine, and I will say something if I'm not.  Now we need to figure out how to help you enjoy it too.”

“I don’t know what was different,” Caduceus admitted, finally feeling the embarrassed flush of his face start to cool.  “I don’t know why I couldn’t enjoy it like before.”

“There could be lots of reasons,” assured Fjord.  “Maybe the angle wasn’t right, or you didn’t like the way we were positioned.  Maybe you were too hot, or your hips didn’t like all the moving you were doing.”

“I… I think it would have been better if… if I could have seen your face,” admitted Caduceus.

“That’s a fair guess,” Fjord replied, smiling.  “Maybe it’s easier when you can see I’m having fun too.”

“I think that does help, yes.”

“Listen…  If you want to, I think I’m ready to do this for real,” Fjord said softly.

“B-but I… I don’t even know what happened,” Caduceus admitted.  “My mind just… went blank .”

“Your body did a good job without it then,” Fjord chuckled.  “At least on my end.”

Caduceus let himself fall forward to press a kiss against Fjord’s forehead.

“Tell you what,” Fjord hummed, taking a deep breath.  “How about you get your bag, and get those components you need for that protection spell.  Take as long as you need to catch your breath, drink some water. I’ll stay here and get comfortable .”  Caduceus could feel both their heartbeats skip at that.  “And when you’re done, we try a position that hopefully lets you actually enjoy yourself.”

“I… I think I would like that,” Caduceus replied.

“So that is green then?”

“Green.  Fjord?”

Fjord looked at him with a curious expression, his scarred eyebrow quirked up in a question.

“I think I like kissing the most.  I think that’s my favorite part.  The stimulation is nice but…  The kissing is fun, I think.”

Fjord tilted his chin up with a grin, letting Caduceus kiss him softly on the lips.  

“Then we better make sure you get to do lots of it this time.”

Chapter Text

Fjord had told him to take a moment, so Caduceus went through his bag slowly.  Sure enough he found the necessary component for the spell wrapped up in the bundle his aunt had made - a dried peel from a citrus fruit.  He lifted it gently from the cloth wrapping, and then carefully rebundled the rest of the herbs.  Then he removed his ceramic censer and incense from the pocket he kept them in, and glanced over to the bed.

Fjord was stroking himself again, eyes closed and head back on the pillow as he focused on his own needs.  Caduceus could see the bottle of oil clenched in his other hand again, and the glass phallus lying on the bed beside him.  He was curious, but a sudden parching of his throat reminded him that Fjord had also suggested he drink water, so he poured himself a glass from the decanter on the dresser and took a long slow drink.

He tried to steady his heart by not looking at the bed.  It helped a little.

It was better that he focus on casting the spell right now.  Fjord was placing a lot of trust in him to keep them both safe, and Caduceus would never want to betray that trust even if he was feeling nervous.  

Neither of them wanted a pregnancy to take from this encounter.  

He had done this spell for other people before.  People who needed help with family planning, who didn’t want to bring a child into the world.  But never in all his years did he think he would be using it for himself .  He placed the censer on the dresser, lit the incense, and began to tear up the citrus peel into smaller chunks for burning.  Each time he lit a piece of the fruit skin, it sparked and released a bright smell into the air that reminded Caduceus of summer.  He left the skins in the ceramic bowl of the sensor to smolder, allowing their sunshine smell to fill the space and mask a little of the sweat and sex that had permeated it.

He turned to Fjord, who had stopped his ministrations for a moment to watch Caduceus’ work.

“I’ll need your hand,” Caduceus said, taking a step towards him.  Fjord put down the bottle of oil and offered his clean hand to him.

It was so warm to the touch that Caduceus could swear it was warming his very bones.

“Dearest Mother,”  Caduceus began, squeezing Fjord’s hand, “Please protect your gentle paladin.  Do not let these seeds take root today.  Bless our union, which we offer as beasts of Your Wilds.”

“Uh… Ditto,” Fjord said, giving a sheepish grin. “And bless your cleric too.  He’s been through a lot today.  Amen.”

Caduceus couldn’t help but smile back.

For a moment it felt as though the citrus smell overpowered everything in the room, but then like a breath of fresh air Caduceus felt that familiar breeze of Her presence, and he knew that She would not let anything bad happen to them here.

Even Fjord seemed to notice the change in the air, because he gave Caduceus’ hand a gentle squeeze as they met eyes.

“You think you’re ready for this?” Fjord asked, his voice genuine and kind.

“I think so,” Caduceus answered.  “And you?”

“Actually I was wondering if you could do me a favor,” Fjord chuckled.  “Normally I’d want to do some stretching with my fingers down there before I took in anything as big as you, but…” he held up his hand, wiggling his fingers.

It took Caduceus a moment to realize what Fjord was saying.

Claws .  Sharp claws on every finger.

“I normally trim them if I think I’m gonna have some… time alone , but I was so busy helping you out I forgot to,” he sighed.

Caduceus felt a wave of affection wash over him.  Once again, Fjord had been putting other people before himself.  But this was something Caduceus could help with.

“I’d be more than happy to help,” Caduceus replied, “In fact I’m grateful for the opportunity to do something for you for once.  Tell me how I can help.”

Fjord lay back against the pillow once again, bringing his knees up so his legs were bent and spreading them wide so Caduceus could see his sex, vibrant and green.

“I need you to slick me up with your fingers,” Fjord explained, grabbing the bottle of oil once again.  “Start with one and then we’ll add more as we go.”

“Do I need to do the…” Caduceus made the come-hither gesture that Fjord had asked him to do the night before.

“ Need to?  No,” Fjord chuckled.  “But I’m praying that you do anyway.”

He smiled.  “I see.”

Caduceus sat down on the bed and took the bottle of oil from Fjord.  Slicking up his fingers, he tried to assess how best to approach this.  He figured the position they had taken yesterday was a good starting place, so he lowered himself beside Fjord and reached a hand down over his green belly towards his dark curls.

“That’s it,” Fjord encouraged, closing his eyes and taking a breath.  Caduceus extended his longest finger, pushing between the folds and down into Fjord’s wet hole.  The oil made sliding in even easier than Caduceus had remembered it.

“You’re so warm,” Caduceus muttered, almost to himself.  Fjord huffed out a shaky laugh.

“ Warm… I feel like I’m burning up inside,” he admitted.  “Been on edge for a while, ready to let go.”

Caduceus nodded.  He absolutely understood the tightness and the heat that came as his insides coiled before releasing.  His anatomy was different from Fjord’s, but he imagined it was still just as intense and distracting for the self made man as it was for him.

“Gimme another finger,” Fjord whispered, and Caduceus obliged.

Another deep sigh, Fjord’s chest heaving as he relaxed his belly and thighs, trying to be open and pliant for Caduceus’ fingers.  Like it was difficult for him.  Like he was out of practice.  It occurred to Caduceus that with all their traveling, the last time Fjord may have had someone else touch him like this was Avantika… he quickly pushed those thoughts down and tried to focus on the warmth, the small movements of his fingers stroking inside of Fjord’s body.

A sharp intake of breath, and then Fjord held up his own hand, making a motion with his fingers like scissors.  Caduceus obliged, parting his fingers and allowing Fjord to stretch around him.  The half orc groaned loudly, followed by a whimper.

“... ‘s good,” Fjord practically whined, turning his head to press his nose into the join between Caduceus’ shoulder and neck.

“You’ve been good to me, it’s the least I can do,” Caduceus replied, leaning his head down to rest a cheek against the crown of Fjord’s head.  “You’ve done so much.  Relax… relax and let me take care of you, Fjord.”

A small shudder in Fjord’s body, and then Caduceus could feel Fjord mouthing at his throat.  The tips of his tusks were right on his pulse, and Caduceus knew Fjord could probably feel how fast his heart was beating there.  But he did not sink in, merely allowed himself to taste the tension and sweat Caduceus had gathered, and let the fluttering blood under his skin make time against his teeth.

For a split second, his mind went to their conversation earlier.  About food, and cravings, and the wild nature of hormonal impulse. Caduceus thought of Fjord in heat: craving raw, bloody meat, sinking his teeth into the soft flesh he was offered.  That was what he had said he desired when he was in that vulnerable time.  Would he want it now?  This wasn’t a heat for him, but there had to be some lingering element of it.

He was shocked to find that he was not afraid.  He knew Fjord wouldn’t hurt him, that he was not merely something Fjord would devour quickly in a moment of weakness.  Fjord would savor him, would take his time.  He would enjoy it.  

And Caduceus felt he might enjoy every second of it too.

“It’s okay,” he whispered.  “It’s okay if you want to bite me.”

“... We said pain would be too much for your first time,” Fjord mouthed, his hot breath dancing on Caduceus’ neck.  “But I appreciate the offer.”

“Just know that… if it happens by accident…” Caduceus replied softly, “I won’t mind.”

Fjord pulled back a little to nuzzle his nose into Caduceus’ pulse once more.  He inhaled, taking in the scent and chuckled.

“Maybe next year,” he teased, and Caduceus couldn’t help but laugh too.

A few moments in silence as Caduceus continued to finger and stretch Fjord, adding a third finger and delighting at the way Fjord’s body responded with an arc of his back, pushing off of the bed with another moan.

“Does it hurt?” Caduceus asked.

“Nah, feels good.  Think I’m almost ready.”

“What do you want me to do?”

Fjord started to sit up, rolling his body so that he was caging Caduceus in with his arms.  He leaned down and kissed his temple, his nose.  “I want you to hold very still while I saddle up,” Fjord said sternly.

Caduceus did as he was told, his body seizing up as he watched Fjord adjust the pillows so Caduceus was sitting up as well, and then swinging a leg over the firbolg’s hips, just below where his cock stood erect.

“You red or green?” Fjord asked once more.

“I’m… I’m green,” Caduceus said, taking a deep breath.

Fjord nodded, taking the shaft into his hand once more.  He grabbed the oil, dizzled a little more on, and then slowly, slowly began lowering himself down onto the head.

Caduceus was grateful for all the preparations they had done.  Fjord riding his thigh in the bathtub this morning had gotten him ready for the feeling of their bodies this close.  The blowjob had shown him the pleasure of the heat and pressure he was now experiencing, being inside of Fjord.  Even the failed experiment with Fjord’s thighs had shown him what to do as Fjord sank down onto his cock.

Caduceus bucked his hips softly.  Fjord gave him a grin.

“I thought I told you to hold very still?” he teased.

“Ah, I’m sorry,” sighed Caduceus, easing into the feeling of Fjord surrounding him in a new and overwhelming way.  “It… it feels good.”

“Yes it does,” Fjord agreed, taking his hands to cup Caduceus’ face.

“... Thank you,” Caduceus whispered.

“Don’t thank me yet ,” Fjord laughed, lifting himself a bit to adjust and causing a ripple of pleasure to surge through Caduceus’ body.  “You’ve still got some work to do.”

With that, Caduceus wrapped his arms around Fjord.

The movement of their hips together felt more spiritual than anything Caduceus had ever remembered experiencing before.  For this moment they were one , moving together.  Fjord huffed out hot breaths with each thrust, Caduceus breathed them in on each draw back.  Caduceus wondered what they looked like, entwined and wrapped around each other.  He had seen Jester’s sketchbook, seen her lewd drawings, but this… he thought he might finally understand what beauty she saw in the act.  A communion of bodies.  Two being one.  

It was an art .

Now his hips were understanding, now Fjord’s body felt like a welcome home to him.  He found himself rocking his hips harder, enjoying the way Fjord’s soft body bounced over him.  The half orc’s eyes were closed, his face and chest more ruddy than ever, but his mouth was open in such a way that seemed so relaxed, so at peace… as though he had never felt more comfortable than he did right now.  Caduceus looked at his tusks and tongue, his burning cheeks, his fluttering eyes.  It was the most relaxed and happy he had ever seen Fjord, save for maybe the morning he emerged from the seaweed cocoon.

This was art too.

“Y-you’re lovely l-like this,” Caduceus stammered between thrusts.  “I h-had no idea.  T-that you would enjoy this… s-so much.”

Fjord’s blush deepened, but the blissful expression on his face remained.  “I… I’ve wanted this… for so long,” he admitted, peeking one golden eye open to look at Caduceus.  He slowed his thrusts to a gentle roll.  “I never expected to get it, I’d made peace with your nature a long time ago.  Getting to see you… like this… it’s a dream.  It’s selfish, but it’s true.”

“It’s not selfish for our bodies to want things, even if we know we can’t have them,” Caduceus reminded him.

“That’s why I am thankful.  That it was me,” Fjord said with a sigh.  “That you trusted me.  I’ll remember that.”

Caduceus felt the heat creeping into his own face, but it wasn’t the blush of shame or embarrassment. It felt good, he felt flattered.  Fjord wanted him.  And he felt wanted, desired even.  He had never paid much attention to the gazes of others, but in this moment he realized…  Fjord had been watching him for a long time.

Who knows how long Fjord had been wishing for this, had been dreaming of this, of Caduceus.  And who knows when he realized it wouldn’t happen, that Caduceus wasn’t interested in romance or sex.  He couldn’t imagine what that felt like for him, to want someone.  To want someone and to know you would never have them.  Even now, he couldn’t bring himself to understand how Fjord might have felt.  It just wasn’t in his nature… to want someone like that.

But he was grateful to know that, and to experience this feeling of being wanted, even if it was just tonight.

Pulling Fjord close to his chest, he rolled them both so that Fjord’s back rested against the bed, and Caduceus now was above him.  Gathering up Fjord’s legs, he hooked them over his shoulders, and began to thrust in earnest, letting Fjord’s moans and gasps guide him.

He may never understand what Fjord felt.

And that was alright.

Fjord was his friend.  He cared for Fjord.  It would never be romantic, he would never be able to look at Fjord and feel the spark from Jester’s books that Fjord felt.  But he would feel warmth, and he would feel happiness, and he would feel trust and safety and home.  And as Fjord had said… wasn’t that love, of a kind?  Wasn’t that enough ?  

It was enough for Fjord.  

He leaned down and kissed Fjord, not because he desired him, but because it made them both feel warm and safe and treasured, and this feeling was the only thing that truly mattered right now.  That was why they were here.

To make each other feel good.  Because they cared about each other.  And that was all that mattered.

“...I’m real close, ‘Duces,” Fjord grunted against his lips.  “You gonna knot me or what?”

“Impatient as usual,” Caduceus hissed, a laugh escaping in spite of everything.  He thrust sharply, grinding his knot against Fjord with intent.  Fjord gave a deep moan at that, grinding back against him.

“Well I just…  expected a little more…. oomph… with the way you… talked about it,” Fjord laughed, his words gasping out between each thrust.  Caduceus pulled his hips back again, readying to bear down on Fjord until they both were sated.

His hips snapped forward, burying his knot inside at last.

Something under the bed snapped as well.

They traveled only a small distance, but there was an audible yelp from Fjord as the gravity of the mattress moving underneath them startled him.  Caduceus gasped too, the breath leaving him from the sensation of weightlessness and the sensation of being hilted in Fjord hit at the same time.

There was an audible thud.

They both held very, very still.

Then Fjord started to giggle.

“You fucker ,” he laughed wildly.  “I’m not going to get my deposit back now!”

“ You’re the one who asked for more oomph!” Caduceus cried, feeling his cock still twitch inside of Fjord.  He was knotted to him.  They were tied at last.

“I wasn’t expecting you to break the goddamn bed , you menace,” he giggled, pulling Caduceus’ head down so he could give the firbolg a kiss on the forehead.  Caduceus found himself laughing too.

“I… I didn’t even know that could happen,” laughed Caduceus.  “I didn’t even think it was a possibility .”

“Did you even… ah!” Fjord said, startled, “ There it is.  Was wondering if you were going to cum or not.”

Caduceus realized that he was pulsing inside of Fjord, but it was different than all the other times he had reached climax tonight.  He felt disconnected.  Content.  Like he was no longer in his body, but rather enjoying the scene from the outside.  The tension of the evening was all gone.  Caduceus felt light, empty, in a way that felt new and refreshing instead of foggy and heavy.  He felt tired, but he felt warm and sated and so very alive .

The spell of the bloom had passed over him.

“Are you alright?” Caduceus said, looking Fjord over.

“Fine, fine,” he huffed with a smile, “ Not the first time an orgasm has been scared out of me, unfortunately.”

“I’m so sorry about the bed.” Caduceus sheepishly replied.

“We’ll worry about it tomorrow,” Fjord deflected, looking upwards through the bedframe that they had fallen through with a lopsided grin.  “Who knows, maybe it’s not that bad?”

“I think it’s very bad,” Caduceus said, looking at Fjord.  Fjord’s smile made it feel better though.

Caduceus relaxed his arms, putting his head against Fjord’s chest and allowing himself to go limp.

“I’m feeling much better,” Caduceus explained.  “Like… a veil has been lifted.  I think the bloom is over.”

“Yes your smell is going back to normal already,” Fjord agreed.  “Did you… enjoy yourself?”

“Oh… yes I think so,” Caduceus sighed wistfully, “But I’m also alright if I never have to go through it again.”

“Ha!  I’d proudly take the title of your first and last lay,” joked Fjord, but there was softness in his voice that told Caduceus that it wasn’t just a joke..  “Honestly though… I’m glad you enjoyed it.  This was… fun.”

“... I’m sorry you have such strong feelings for me,” said Caduceus softly.  “I know it’s not something either of us can control, I just… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Fjord assured him.  “Like I said…  I made my peace with it.  You’re wonderful exactly as you are, I wouldn’t want you to change that for me .  It’s insane enough that I got to be here for this wildly vulnerable and uncharacteristic moment…  literally your first time being horny ever .  That was fun, but I would have been okay if it hadn’t happened.”

“Thank you, Fjord,” Caduceus said, yawning as he realized how tired he was.  Now that the sensations of the bloom were leaving him, he felt the heaviness of exhaustion lay over him like a blanket.  “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Thank you for taking care of me ,” Fjord answered.  “That’s what friends do.”

Caduceus hummed, then giggled.  “Friends… with benefits .”

Fjord gave an awkward cough, followed by an embarrassed smile.  “Exactly how long are we stuck like this, did you say?” he asked.

“At least an hour or so,” Caduceus answered, helping Fjord untangle his legs from around Caduceus’ waist.  “Since the bed frame is broken around us it’s probably better if we don’t try to move until we separate.”

“Alright then… I could use a nap,” Fjord smiled and sighed as if he was releasing all the tension left in his body.  

“Ah… yes .  A nap sounds… lovely right now.”

“Wake me up before you pull out, okay big guy?”

But Caduceus was already fast asleep.

Chapter Text

When he opened his eyes again, Caduceus felt more relaxed and refreshed than he had in ages.

He was also starving .  But there was no moving from this spot.

They still lay on the floor in the broken remains of the bedframe, still tied, though Caduceus could feel himself starting to soften.  His bedmate lay draped over him, their bellies rising and falling against each other in quiet breaths.  Fjord’s face was buried in his chest, gently snoring, and Caduceus almost regretted having to interrupt him, but he remembered that Fjord had wanted him to wake him before pulling out.

He put a hand on Fjord, and the half orc rolled into the touch.

“Fjord,” Caduceus said softly, “I think it’s time.”

A grunt and half asleep growl answered, and Caduceus felt Fjord curl into him for a moment, like his fur was a warm blanket he did not wish to be pulled from.

“Come on,” he hummed softly, “I think you’ll be much more comfortable once we separate.”

 A soft chuff.  “I think you underestimate how good it feels to be in my position,” Fjord chuckled, not opening his eyes.  

“I wouldn’t know,” Caduceus said with a smile.  “I do know I’m hungry.  I imagine you are as well.”

Fjord sighed deeply and cracked open one yellow eye to look at his partner.  “Yeah… probably for the best.”

“How would you like to do this?”

“Here, lemme…” Fjord pushed himself up to an upright position, tucking his knees under to support himself as he did.  Caduceus could feel the soft tug where their bodies were still connected as he shifted, but he found it so strange that this didn’t seem to have the same electricity that it did a few hours ago.

“Alright, here we go,” grunted Fjord, lifting himself up while reaching down to carefully ease Caduceus’ shaft out. “Easy now…” It slid out easily, almost effortlessly, followed by a mess of spend that dribbled down Fjord’s thighs and onto Caduceus' fur.  Fjord’s expression turned sour for a moment.  “ Ah , sorry for that.”

“It’s no problem,” Caduceus replied, “I think we both need to be cleaned up a little.”  Now that he was out of Fjord’s body, the cold air was much more noticeable, and he could feel his length softening and retreating slowly back into its sheath.

“I can run a bath,” Fjord said, trying to shift a little more of his weight off of Caduceus, but his knees seemed unwilling to cooperate.

“No, I think it’s my turn,” Caduceus said,  “Let me take care of it, Fjord.”

Without waiting for a response, he shifted his body to sit up and allow Fjord to lay on the mattress while he gathered his long legs back into use.  Glancing around at the broken bed frame, he sighed.

“Mmm, don’t think a mending spell is going to be enough for this one,” he mused.  “I suppose I owe you ten gold.”

Fjord scoffed, then chuckled.  “Nah it’s fine.”

“If you say so… I’ll get us some washcloths.”

Standing up for what felt like the first time in ages, Caduceus carefully stepped over the ruined frame and made his way to the bathroom, gathering up some towels and the magical pitcher of water.  It was funny, earlier when he had to walk the length of the room from the bath to the bed, it had felt like an endless, tortuous task as his mind had fogged over with hormones and desire.  But now… it was just a room .  It actually felt smaller now, only a few steps to the bathroom rather than the thousands it had felt like before.  He returned with the washcloths, wetting them with warm water, and then he knelt beside the bed.

“Hmm… maybe I should just… pull the mattress out from here,” he said, trying to gauge how much clearance there was between the mattress and the broken frame.  “It’ll be easier than having to climb in and out of it.”

“Do I have to move?” Fjord groaned.

Caduceus bent down and looked - because the bed was so large and so high, it seemed as though there was enough room for the mattress and Fjord to slide out without trouble once a few boards were moved. 

“No no, relax.  I’ve got you.”

Shifting the broken wood aside was easy enough, though Caduceus felt his face heat with embarrassment at just how ruined the wood was.  He supposed his strength had gotten the better of him when he had been trying to bear down.  Gently he gripped the edge of the mattress and pulled Fjord free of the ruined frame, then set to work cleaning Fjord’s soft green thighs of slick.

“Lemme clean yours,” Fjord said softly.

“No,” Caduceus responded firmly.  “You first.  I insist .”

He was careful not to rub too hard, not to irritate his skin but also not to stimulate Fjord any more.  Caduceus had to imagine he was probably still sensitive.  He gently lifted one of Fjord’s legs to make it easier to clean his thighs, and looked for the first time clearly at Fjord’s sex.

“It really is handsome,” Caduceus remarked, smiling, “A beautiful thing.”

Fjord laughed.  “I don’t know if anyone has ever called my dick handsome or beautiful.  Underwhelming, maybe.”

“Well, now someone has,” Caduceus remarked, carefully dabbing around the labium to clean up the sticky mess.  “Are you comfortable?  Am I doing this correctly?”  He glanced at Fjord’s face, and his expression seemed far away.

“Normally I don't have someone to clean me up,” Fjord answered.  “Usually… on my own when I wake up.”

Caduceus’ heart hurt to hear that.

“Well… this time you do.”

“Yeah.”

Finishing between his legs, Caduceus eased Fjord’s limb back down to the mattress, then turned to his own body.  It was surprising just how much there was to clean up.  He scrubbed the washcloth through his fur, and noted that his penis was almost completely withdrawn again, only the head of it still poking out of the sheath.  

It really was over.

“Can I get you anything?” Caduceus asked, leaning over Fjord once again.  “A glass of water?  A blanket?”

“Nah.” Fjord waved his hand to emphasize his point.  “I can take care of it my-”

“I don’t want you to,” Caduceus replied, leaning down to press his forehead to Fjord’s before pulling back.  “Let someone take care of you , Fjord.  I owe you that much.”

Fjord looked away for a moment, and Caduceus remembered that for Fjord, this was the end of something very different.  His attraction, his desire, his love for Caduceus had been made clear last night, and now… It was over.  They would go back to how things were before.  With Fjord feeling things he would never act on, and Caduceus never to feel anything like that.

“I…  I hope you know,” Caduceus said, taking Fjord’s hand.  “I hope that you know that you are loved .  By the Wildmother, by the rest of the Nein… by me .”

Fjord gave a gentle smirk, but said nothing.

“I know we said we would keep things the same after this,” Caduceus continued, “But I hope you know that does not mean I care less for you.  I care so much.  You are the only person I think I could do this with.  You are the only person I would feel safe with.  And… I know that’s not the love you want .  But I will always love you, Fjord Stone.  In my way.  And you deserve to be loved, so loved, by everyone you meet.”

The smirk turned into a smile, and Caduceus lowered his head once again to press a soft kiss to Fjord’s forehead.

“... Can’t blame a guy for wanting, though,” Fjord said softly.

“ Never. ”

With that, Caduceus got up and retrieved some of the fruit and hard cheese from the basket Fjord had gotten the day before.  He sat down on the mattress, and they ate together.  Though they were quiet, the silence was comfortable, and Caduceus enjoyed the warmth of Fjord’s body next to him.  Though they were both naked, Fjord was relaxed and at ease in a way Caduceus didn’t think he had ever seen the half-orc be.  When they had been nude together before this, there was always a tension, a fear , something wound so tightly in Fjord that it seemed like it would snap.  But now…

Comfortable .  He looked comfortable in his body now.  Like he didn’t feel like there was anything to hide anymore.

Because there wasn’t .  Caduceus already knew everything about him. And instead of that being a burden, it was a relief .

How wonderful it is to be known .

“I hope you know,” Fjord said through a bite of apple, “that nothing has to leave this room.  I’m okay with it.  I’m okay with leaving… stuff behind.  I came here knowing that.  I’ll always love you, Caduceus… in the way you want to be loved.”

“Thank you, Fjord,” Caduceus said, leaning his body against Fjord.  “I’m leaving something behind here too, to be honest.  I’m leaving… something I’d never thought I would ever feel, and maybe never feel again.  But…” he paused, thoughtfully taking a bite of cheese.  “If some other spring…   If I were to ever find myself here again, I wouldn’t mind if… you were here too .”

Fjord nudged him playfully.  “It’s a date.”

The rest of the cleanup went smoothly.  They decided against a full bath, knowing they could each easily take one back in Caleb’s tower and not have to share a tub.  The bed was unsalvagable, and Caduceus insisted on getting the ten gold for the deposit out of his pack for Fjord.

“It’s the least I can do,” he said firmly, “It was literally my fault.”

They made one last pot of tea in the fireplace, and finished packing up their belongings.  Jester messaged them both several times, asking where they were and when they were coming home and did they have any interesting details they wanted to share about their vacation .  And both of them pretended like they had no idea what she was talking about.

“I was asleep a lot, the bed was soft” Caduceus answered her, “Fjord’s bed was in the other room.  It was very relaxing.”  Technically , he mused, all those things were true.  She didn’t really need to know anything else.

“Hmmmm… fine,” Jester’s voice said, ringing in his ears.  “You’re no fun , Caduceus.  Oh!  Tell Fjord I bought a new copy of The Alpha’s Prince to read him. Loveyou missyou seeyousooooon!”

“Ugh, of course she did,” Fjord sighed when Caduceus told him.  “We left them alone for a couple days in the same city as that blasted bookstore.”

“I’m sure you can find a good lake to toss it in,” Caduceus chuckled.

“Nah, I’ll let her have her fun,” Fjord laughed.  “At least for a little while.”  And that seemed honest.  Caduceus wondered if Fjord would be more comfortable now around the Nein’s bawdy antics, now that he had found comfort in himself.

And then, after what felt like a lifetime, they finally emerged into the sunny courtyard outside the hotel for the first time in days.

The sunshine felt amazing on his fur, and the smell of flowers was lovely but not overwhelming as it had been before.  As beautiful as the experience had been, it was nice to just appreciate things at a basic level, not feel as though his entire being was consumed by every one of his senses.  Fjord seemed to enjoy being out in the sun as well, stretching his muscles and humming softly as they walked.  When they rejoined the Nein in the marketplace, nobody asked any questions (though Caduceus noted they all clearly wanted to, and he appreciated their restraint).

“Everything alright?” was all Caleb asked, and Caduceus was relieved that Fjord answered him with grace and ease.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.  We ready to get going?”

“ Ja ,” Caleb replied, “I think I know where we should head to next.”

Caduceus knew he would have the memories of those nights for a long time.

He hoped Fjord would keep them close as well.

As they headed out, Caduceus felt Fjord’s hand brush against his, and they made eye contact for a moment.

The genuine smile Fjord gave him… reminded Caduceus of a blossoming flower, finally opening after a long spring carefully tending to a garden.  He could feel a fondness spread open inside his chest too, and he had a word for it now.  It wasn’t the love of Jester’s books, it never would be, but it was Love.  Love of the world.  Love of life.  Love for his very dear friend .  And in the breeze, he could hear the Wildmother whisper to him again.

My Clay.  A plant with no flowers still grows tall, still feels the sunshine, still grips the earth.  It may not bear fruit, but it still loves life with everything it has.  You are the same.  For it is wondrous and beautiful that we are here at all.  Maybe you will flower again, maybe not.  But I know you will love this world with everything you have.  

And as Caduceus gave Fjord’s hand a gentle nudge in return, he couldn’t help but agree.