Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Ritsu prides himself on being a patient, rational, and overall put-together person. His own classmates view him as a charming level-minded person, and his closer peers—well, some know him to be a not-so-charming but nevertheless level-minded esper.

However.

As he watches the smiley-faced blondie make goo-goo eyes and lovey-dovey faces at his brother, he’s not so sure where his self-control reaches its peak, especially when Brother reciprocates the disgusting acts of affection with his own small smile and eyes softer than Serizawa’s attitude when Reigen rambles about evil mushrooms or what-fucking-ever. Gods, he’s surrounded by lovelorn idiots.

Anyway, much to his continuous misfortune, the two lovebirds are holding each other’s hands and doing what Ritsu calls the eye equivalent of stargazing. Eye-gazing. It’s almost cute, but this is also Ritsu’s fucking room, and they’re only in here because Brother left a board game or whatever somewhere. Ritsu doesn’t want to be rude or anything, but he slams the board game right onto Hanazawa’s back because right now he feels like forgoing all sense of rationality to bleach his eyes clean.

Like some ill-timed (only for Ritsu) cliché, Hanazawa squawks, ends up on his bed, and lands on top of his brother all with the grace and floweriness of a fucking romance manga. Ritsu just wants them out of his room already.

But he perseveres with gritted teeth and a tight-lipped smile as Hanazawa thanks him and informs him that he'll be sleeping over with Mob. Again. For the third time this week. It is Tuesday.

***

"Hey, Ritsu," his brother starts. "Why do people think Hanazawa-kun and I are dating?" The Blazing Transfer Students opening is flashing on the TV screen and mixing with Brother’s seemingly calm voice. Ritsu, to his great regret, glances over to his sibling to see the slightest tinge of pink on his cheeks.

"Well," he tries, "you're both closer than normal friends usually are." Brother nods as if asking him to continue. Ritsu tries not to let the long-suffering exasperation show in his voice. "And you always look at each other like—I don't know—like, you like each other."

"But we do like each other." And Ritsu likes not doing this, right now.

"Like, like-like, you know?" He presses. Ritsu, for his academic prowess, feels as if his vocabulary while talking to his brother about his crush is limited to only 'like.' While he hates talking about this, he figures he hates watching them unknowingly pine over each other like a bunch of lovesick protagonists who don't know they're lovesick even more.

"Like-like...?" His older brother pauses until his face reddens in realization. "Ah! I like Hanazawa-kun romantically!" Yes, and they are Japanese; the sun is a star, and also grass is green. Ritsu sighs in relief.

Unfortunately, Mob’s face falls. "It's too bad he doesn't like me back, though."

Ritsu couldn't resist the urge to put his face in his hands and scream.

***

Shou snickers at Ritsu's constipated face as he watches the Hanazawa rat giggle at whatever Mob was saying. Fingers intertwined, they gaze at each other with such overwhelming tenderness that Ritsu almost pukes. He does not, because his dinner was chicken nuggets, and he is not going to tarnish chicken nuggets.

They're hanging out at a family restaurant by Reigen's treat, and somehow, with the greasy table, the cheap lights flickering on and off, and a baby wailing loudly in the background, the two lovebirds look like they're in the most romantic place on earth. Ritsu envies how it's perfectly normal for babies to cry in public while if he, someone who feels like he could snap and release all his pent-up esper energy from bearing witness to TeruMob's cuddling, cries in public, it would be considered 'weird' and 'unsettling.'

Curse social norms. He’d curse it with all his esper capabilities if it were tangible.

Reigen pats him on the back knowingly. "Don't worry. One day," he consoles with his usual dumbass smile. "One day, they'll finally confess and realize each other's feelings."

Ritsu gives him his own signature smile (the one that makes you wonder whether he's about to kill you or himself) and replies, "One day, you're going to be dead."

***

It's normal for Ritsu to be going home later than most students without council duties or clubs. It's normal. What isn't normal, though, is seeing the sun-bright Hanazawa in a convenience store without his older brother. Once they started high school in not only the same school but also the same class, it was as if they'd evolved from being glued to the hip to sharing it. The entire student body of their school either thinks they're dating or wonders why they aren't.

Much to Ritsu's ever-constant dread (which Reigen once laughed at, calling it a teenager's gloomy tendencies, followed by Ritsu telekinetically moving the chair he was about to sit on and making him fall on his ass with a string of curses and frantic waving of arms), Hanazawa spots him and starts to approach the younger male with a polite smile. 

"Younger Brother-kun! How're you doing?" His blue eyes shone brightly, contrary to Ritsu's dead black voids. Teenager’s gloomy tendencies echo at the back of his mind. He pushes it back and replaces it with Reigen’s falling down to the ground.

"Just fine," he musters. Of course, being the amicable teen he is, Hanazawa continues the conversation smoothly and easily, vividly speaking about the newest sports celebrity and some cooking recipes. Ritsu doesn't mind so much as he thought he would; he supposes he only finds his presence unbearable when he looks sickeningly lovesick with his older brother. The mutual pining and slow burn were enough to make Ritsu forget that the older boy actually isn't that difficult to be around with.

They pay for their goods, and Hanazawa says, "Your brother's staying a bit later than usual for club stuff, so I decided I'd go ahead and help your parents prepare dinner as thanks for letting me stay over tonight."

Ritsu narrows his eyes. "Okay, well, that’s not really a surprise. After how many times you've been over, I'm sure my parents see you as their own son by now."

Unspoken: son-in-law.

Laughing almost nervously, the older male clears his throat. "So, um," he starts eloquently. "Does Kageyama-kun... Does Kageyama-kun talk about me sometimes?"

Sometimes? Are you kidding me? he wants to ask, but instead settles for "I think — sometimes is an understatement" because he's in a nice mood today (Reigen fell down a staircase) and has decided he shouldn't snark his upperclassman.

"An understatement? What do you mean by that?" he asks, fiddling with the straps of his bag like a damn schoolgirl protagonist in an overly cliché shoujo manga.

Ritsu shuts his eyes closed and breathes. He can do this. Maybe they might even get together after this painful conversation? The younger esper really doesn’t like talking about his brother’s embarrassing infatuation to the very source of it. It’s like listening to Reigen con poor saps in the office or, gods forbid, on the bustling streets of Seasoning City like a fraud, which he is.

“I meant,” he begins, “that he talks about you a lot. More so than any of his other friends. More so than Reigen, who’s been close to him longer than you have.”

The blonde’s hand reaches to rub the back of his neck, a nervous fallback. “Oh. That’s good to hear. I hope he’s spoken only good things.”

Yes. He’s only spoken good things. About you. He only speaks about you always, he doesn’t say, but the look on his face reveals as much, not that the idiot in love notices. Brother waxes poetic about the blonde so much that Ritsu feels like he’s known him since birth, much to his daily horror. He knows as much as his favorite food, his least favorite bodily disease (why?), his opinion on triquetral bones (which is not in their high school curriculum, he’s sure), and the barely noticeable mole on his lower hip that Ritsu hopes he learned because Hanazawa told him, and not because the blue-eyed boy has been naked in front of his brother twice (and isn’t that a thought he never wishes to come across again).

The exhibitionist (yes, he’s calling him that now, not that it’s his fault for being subjected to his brother’s overpowered ???, but technically) continues, “I… I care about him a lot—more than he probably thinks—and I want him to understand that,” he falters, blushing, and Ritsu wants to chuck himself into the concrete.

To translate the earlier passage: I like your brother romantically. I want to confess to him. The last part is the trickiest. Because, you know, they’re never going to do it. Last month, the blonde was flirting (routine, nothing new) with his brother and, word-by-fucking-word, said, “I wouldn’t mind going on a date with you, Kageyama-kun!” To which his brother replied, “Me too. You’re a very special person to me.” Reigen’s office went quiet after that interaction, staring anticipatedly at the two who were yet to notice. Even the client, a teenage girl there to have a ghost removed from her photo or whatever, craned her neck from where she was seated to watch the much-expected romance to occur. It did not. They simply continued talking, like they hadn’t just confessed their deep and unending love for each other.

A truck passes by, and Ritsu asks the gods to be merciful and let the vehicle end him of the unwilling role of spectator to this insufferable pining.

"Okay, look, Hanazawa-senpai." The younger student forces out the almost unfitting honorific and rids the 'Polite Good Mood Ritsu' because if these two don't make out at the very least in his lifespan (probably short, given the utter bullshit he has to deal with daily, and, no, he's not exaggerating, considering his brother has responded with a flowery description of Hanazawa's elbows when asked where the soap was), then he will suffer even in the afterlife.

He continues, "You like him—" Hanazawa sputters. "—and so does my brother. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, I'm sure. Confess already, or I will personally deliver you to your grave. Please. I'm begging you."

At this point, Ritsu looks close to esper-ing himself to the nearest cliff, and Hanazawa is as red as the blood that Ritsu would like to taint his dead body with. 'His' being either of them. He won't complain.

They don't say anything else on the walk to the Kageyama household. Ritsu just hopes that something happens tonight now that he’s revealed the obvious truth to one of them, but he knows not to get his hopes up.

Chapter Text

Ritsu has two things he looks forward to. The first is spending time with people he loves, like his family and friends like Shou. The second is Reigen getting hurt in any way whatsoever. Today he meticulously emptied out all his pens’ and markers’ remaining ink, watching as the old fraud went crazy over the mystery of inkless office supplies. Ritsu gains power from Reigen’s demise.

Now, just as he has things he likes, Ritsu also has things he really, really doesn’t find tolerable. Firstly, Reigen, a given. Check: first paragraph. Secondly, Shou’s dad, also a given, considering he’s a shit father and because his evil cult did kidnap him and try to kill him. And, well. The third—

“Kageyama-kun, I like you!” With a deep bow, Teruki, blonde, blushing, and holding a bouquet of yellow flowers in front of him, pronounces his enduring love to Ritsu’s brother.

Mob’s cheeks mirror the blue-eyed boy’s red ones, and he struggles to find words. His fingers fidget together, and his feet shuffle on the floor. It is the epitome of a classic confession. It is youth embodied, or whatever the fuck it is that Ritsu’s witnessing right now. He’d give this one a solid 6 out of 10. Good confession, cute, bold, daring, even, but, well, you know, they’re in his fucking room again.

Here’s the context: Since Teru was sleeping over, (Ritsu stopped complaining only because he knows Teru’s all alone in his high-rise apartment, no parents to provide him with company, and Mob’s his first real friend), he went to take a shower in Mob’s bathroom. And Mob wanted to talk to Ritsu while he was doing that, hence why he’s here in Ritsu’s goddamned room. But Teru must have just felt like confessing, as if he came to a sudden life realization in the middle of a nice scrub (Ritsu knew that soap was cursed) and sprinted over a full five meters to dramatically fulfill his love.

“Hanazawa-kun…” Mob is pink, and his eyes are shining. Ritsu’s eyes are also shining, but for a very different reason. “Hanazawa-kun, me too!”

He accepts the flowers with a bright smile.

“Alstroemerias, right? For friendship.”

…Ritsu cannot, right now. And for once, Teru feels the same, because his upturned lips slowly fall, only to come back up again in an extremely forced laugh.

“Friendship, love, devotion,” Teru presses. The younger spectator almost wants to pat him on the shoulder, tell him to give up, and be direct, you fucking idiot.

Mob is happy to hear this, though, oblivious to the two boys’ inner turmoil. He says, “Right! I’m so glad you feel the same way.”

Teru’s forced smile softens. He seems to have given up correcting him, instead infatuated by Mob’s denseness. Before the two stare at each other for the next fourteen centuries, in Ritsu’s goddamn room still, the third wheel opens the door for them.

He says politely, “Get out.” Politely.

That was the first time, and the start of Ritsu’s never-ending witness to a series of failed confessions.

***

There’s a cultural festival at Mob’s school. Mob’s school means Teru’s school. Mob and Teru in the same vicinity or even sentence mean tragedy for Ritsu, so while they experience their high school life enjoying their own blooming romance genre, he’s stuck grieving the loss of his youth as it is worn down by the relentless and involuntary observation of his brother’s love life.

Lamentably, their class decided to sell food and drinks and put the two pining romance protagonists into the same one-meter area. Teru, amicable and popular, holds out flyers and words of promotion to people passing by. Mob, not as amicable nor popular, presses numbers on a laptop beside him.

The Kageyama parents truly do treat the flashy blonde as family (in-laws, gods know), and converse with him familiarly as they ready to go inside their classroom for a quick snack. Ritsu glares at the rat next to his brother, who only smiles and waves at him with a happy little ‘hello!’

An hour later, his parents leave to go home, and he stays behind to meet some of his former council members to give his greetings. Once done, Ritsu prepares to head back home, but he is stopped at the sight of his brother and his fucking crush under the sakura tree. The school’s music club plays a slow love song in the background, and the sakura petals decorate the scene beautifully. No one else is around to see the two boys together, having a serious and wholehearted moment. No one, except fucking Ritsu. The esper cranes his neck to the sky, closing his eyes and whispering a small ‘fucking goddamn hell.’

“Kageyama-kun.” Teru’s eyes look straight into Mob’s, and his steady composure is betrayed by the fidgeting of the chocolate box behind him.

“Yes?”

Teru reveals the box.

“Will you go out with me?”

Ritsu watches. Okay, that was good, actually. Direct and to the point. Alright.

“Sure, Hanazawa-kun.”

Teru’s face brightens, puppy-like.

“Where do you want to go?”

And it falls. Ritsu wishes he could fall, too. Into a hole, preferably. After a moment, Teru, again, regains his smile and compels his lips to rise upwards. Unlike Teru, Ritsu does not need any coercion. His blood pressure rises without his consent, just as he certainly did not ask to watch this, nor any of the things he’s been subjected to so far.

Teru gives in to Mob’s smile, again. Ritsu knows he's whipped, but, gods, this is hurting both of them.

“I’d like to visit the new café, if that’s alright.”

***

Tome is a little batshit insane, but Ritsu tolerates her more than Hanazawa with his brother, so he opts to sit next to her while the not-couple not-cuddles on the couch. He joined their little upperclassmen crew in Reigen’s office to wreak some more havoc (remove ink from his pens) into the man’s life. He pities Serizawa, however, because Reigen probably asks for his pens when he runs out of his own, so he places some snacks on Serizawa’s desk.

Tome watches amusedly as he uses his powers for justice and good, making the ink disappear into thin air once drained out of the pen tube.

“Don’t use your cool powers for petty reasons, Ritsu,” she says, but she’s smiling. He narrows his eyes, about to respond with a retort, but she gets to him first.

She produces a tube of glue out of nowhere, gets a pen, removes the pen cap, and squeezes glue into it. Ritsu decides immediately that this girl is his favorite among Mob’s friends. He searches for his own glue and starts sabotaging all of Reigen’s unfortunate office supplies.

He’s curious, though. “I thought you respected Reigen?”

“Of course I do,” she says, “but it’s fun to pull pranks.”

And just then, the door opens. Ritsu and Tome expertly return back into unseeming teenagers on their phones, like the trained masters of stealth that they are. Reigen enters with Dimple and Serizawa in tow, and the office’s volume amps up.

However. There’s… something, though. Ritsu can’t quite place it, but there’s something different about the two (humans, not the floating fart). They’ve got a particular atmosphere around them that wasn’t there when he last saw them together. It’s odd. He watches for the next few minutes, scrutinizing them with glaring eyes. Serizawa ends up noticing, and says, sweatily, “Um. Ritsu, is there something wrong?”

His eyes widen by a fraction until they narrow again. Serizawa stutters, “I mean—You’ve been staring for a while.”

“Have I?” He hasn’t honestly noticed. He decides to go for it. “Is there something up with you and Reigen?” Said fraud is talking work-related stuff with Tome, so it’s just him and Serizawa at the moment.

Serizawa almost sweats even more, but he gathers his wits and gains a more confident smile. “I guess Mob hasn’t told you yet. Reigen and I are a couple, now.”

Ritsu is surprised, but not at the prospect of them having a mutual romantic affection for each other. “Mob told me you weren’t dating this morning, though,” he tells, confused.

Serizawa is baffled, too. “But,” he replies, “I told him we were a thing last week.”

That makes no sense. Unless… no, gods forbid. Ritsu’s dread grows in the pit of his stomach just as his brother’s social density probably continues to grow even at this very moment.

“What exactly did you tell him? As you know, he can be a bit dense when it comes to romance.” Honestly, he’s not terrible at it. When he had that crush on Tsubomi, he wasn’t that dense; he knew he had a crush on her immediately, and it’s not like his brother is confused with his sexuality. Really, when did his brother become this dense at romance? He blames this all on Teru. He doesn’t know why, but he will.

“I told him, um, what was it that I said? Right — that we decided to be in a relationship, and that we knew we liked each other. Something like that.”

Ritsu sighs. He’ll kindly explain it to his brother later. It’s not his fault. However, this experience holds red flags for him. It’s telling him he won’t be seeing an end to TeruMob’s pining for the next eternity. He wishes Teru would stop being so embarrassed about being direct and maybe just marry the shit out of his brother already and not pine in his fucking room or literally anywhere he’s around. He’s too young to be bleaching his eyes. He hasn't even thrown Reigen into a ditch yet. He'd like to be able to watch that with perfectly unbleached eyes, thank you very much, but these two are just not cooperating with him.

Tome comes back to pat his shoulder, as if she’s the esper and can somehow telepathically read his mind.

Ritsu prepares to take his leave, having completed his mission of ruining Reigen's week, when all of a sudden, Teru shouts, resonating in the office, “I like you, Mob, and I want to be in a relationship with you!”

Mob stares at Teru, wide-eyed and cheeks flushed. 

Silence. All wait for the boy’s reply.

Reigen looks impressed at Teru’s unafraid declaration, giving them a thumbs up. The fool.

Mob opens his mouth to reply. Ritsu opens a bag of chips to drown his sorrows away. He knows. Tome does, too, and steals a handful of chips from him.

“But we’re already in a relationship?”

“We are?”

“What?”

“Excuse me, I heard you can remove ghosts from pictures? I think I’m being haunted by my mother-in-law,” says a new voice.

The lady, stepping into the room cautiously, blinks at the small gathering of people in the office staring at her with startled eyes. Tome, used to this mess, guides her to sit down with affirmations of yes, yes, we can 100% help you, how long have you been married?

The conversation between the two hopeless teens ends like that, but Ritsu’s suffering does not.

Serizawa nods his head in understanding.

***

“Did you need me for something, Serizawa-san?”

The older male tries to give him an approachable smile. “Kageyama-kun, I think you’re a little confused,” he says, “if not in denial.”

Mob clearly wasn’t expecting this conversation. “Huh?”

Serizawa smiles a bit to himself. He can see why it’d be a case of denial, not just being dense. Reigen’s mentee is more aware than Serizawa initially thought he was when still getting to know him, and sometimes Mob surprised him with how smart he really is. He thinks, though not sure, that Mob doesn’t want to ruin his relationship with Teru, even though he might know the blonde likes him back. Perhaps he’s afraid of something new, of his first-ever romantic relationship with someone. It’s something Serizawa thought with Reigen too, the pressure of messing up when labeled as a thing, the fear of ending it all if he messes up them as a couple. If they become an item and break up, will they be able to be friends again?

“Kageyama-kun… When I told you Reigen and I are in a relationship, I meant that we’re dating.” He pauses, watching as Mob processes that little bit of information. He knows who else meant a relationship as dating. His face turns red, but there’s a tinge of anxiety.

He places a hand on the younger boy’s shoulder. “Don’t be afraid, Kageyama-kun,” is all he says.

And Serizawa says it to himself, too.

***

The day comes to an end, marked by the setting of the sun and the shadows on the grass of two boys facing each other.

Teru is a little down, his failed confession still at the back of his mind, but he can never force a smile when Mob is there, with him by his side, and totally not where his crush's brother can see them. Yes, Ritsu can fucking see them. They aren’t in his room, though. They’re right outside it.

Why? Gods, why? Is this a running joke to you fucking lot?

He’s about to close the curtains when his brother suddenly moves towards Teru, grasping his hands in his in a swift flash of motion. It makes Ritsu pause, but it can’t be a confession. Absolutely infeasible.

“I like you, Hanazawa-kun!”

Oh, what the fuck?

“Wh-wh-what?” Hanazawa, now on the end of the confession this time, stutters. Both of them weren’t expecting this turn of events.

“Like, like-like you! I like you, and—and, I want to be with you… for a long time,” Mob confesses, and the two are red-faced. Ritsu’s jaw is dropped downer than his blood sugar when met with their incessant displays of affection. This time, though, he thinks with relief and some pride for his brother, he’ll deteriorate watching them as a couple. The thought makes him genuinely smile and nod to himself. 

Hanazawa throws at him the sunniest possible grin. Ritsu’s eyes are burning. “Me too, Kageyama-kun!”

As they relish in the high of the confession and the excitement of the beginning of a new relationship, the boys stare at each other, and the sky is pink, too. Pink, like their cheeks and their ears and the love that is in the air.

Ritsu closes the curtains and sprays air freshener in an attempt to remove it. They weren’t even in his room.

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