Chapter Text
‘Hello Death’
She heard the hooves of the horses; they fled.
Keith screamed and Katarina remained silent, stopped in time.
And so a thought was embedded in her head: it was curious how death was once unknown to Katarina. It had been a mystery and the girl, in her previous life, had grown up seeing how everyone threw their bets on what it was, what it meant. They all wondered what would happen in the afterlife and were afraid of being wrong.
But Katarina, in her previous life, thought about the absolute nothing. She was scared, afraid, like everyone else. She didn't know what would happen to her when she died. It must have been so nice to believe in a god who would embrace your lost soul when you perish! But she couldn't believe in anything. Nothing. She tried, and within her, only the deepest emptiness was formed.
She felt an indescribable terror, the kind that made her cry at night because it got into her head and wouldn't let go. It held her tight because her weaknesses were exposed in the dark and it fed on her for hours and she couldn't sleep.
And Katarina just wanted to rest then from the enormous stress of thinking about life after death every night. She started playing Fortune Lover, the game that A-chan recommended, just to distract herself from such negative and intrusive thoughts.
But they came back to her, as a warning, and Katarina ignored them one by one and went on with her life, moving forward. She was just a seventeen-year-old girl who had been taught by her parents and brothers to be optimistic and not dwell too much on details. Dying wasn’t a worry that had to fill her mind. And very often she didn’t think about it, but it was a topic she tried to avoid discussing with others, because that Katarina had a simple and happy life and nothing indicated that anything was going to change, right?
So why?
Why was her existence cut short?
Why had she been hit against the asphalt? She’d stained everything red and the air had been filled with an intense smell of rust. She’d frightened all the people who had been around at the time and would have marked them forever with a horrible image. And that… that would be her footprint, and she wished nothing more than to be anywhere else.
And she… She didn't do anything, because she was a wreck (her mind, her body, she couldn't say for sure what), one breath away from dying, but she was afraid, because she thought she would disappear.
And, if she disappeared... what was life? What did it mean, everything she had done up to that point?
Would she have a soul? Would she see her family or would she be alone?
Why did she die so fast?
It was horrible: she had died in the blink of an eye. She hardly saw herself. The screams of the others had gotten stuck in the girl's eardrums and it was, it was horrible to know that this had happened.
She hadn't had time, time, no time at all. The days had been so short in retrospect.
Her chest ached.
Katarina had died of a mistake whose cause could have been both herself and the driver of the truck that hit her. She couldn't remember it well.
Katarina had decided to leave the past as a gift, not an anchor. After all, all that fear she’d had was unfounded.
She got an after.
She was so grateful.
Her eyes were filled with tears.
It wasn’t pleasant to think about that, but at that very moment she couldn’t help it.
She felt the call of Death near, brushing her shoulder and turning her complexion pale and cold. She could feel her heavy breath on the nape of her neck, like a wordless threat.
"Sister, please react!!"
Keith screamed beside her, grabbed her by both arms and shook her hard, but she didn't even flinch. She couldn't look away from the blood-soaked body on the ground several meters away that had left the horse-drawn carriage behind, as if that boy, who would have had so much to live for, didn't matter.
People were upset. There were those who covered the children's eyes and those who cried.
Katarina cried too.
She cried, cried, cried. She did it until her throat ached and her eyes swelled up.
Keith was dragging her away, but she wanted to stay and hug that poor boy and tell him everything would be okay.
That he would be rewarded with another life.
That...
Katarina's crying didn't stop. Even when she closed her mouth and her eyes darkened, without an iota of emotion be it positive or negative, she didn't.
Because her second life was a preordained story and she was destined. Oh, she was destined to die young and in disgrace. A girl hated and used by her fiancé and whose stepbrother had broken the family harmony.
Although that wasn’t the "Katarina" that she currently was. But then she couldn’t stop thinking about it and see how unfair that girl's story was.
Death was flanking her and, in no time, she would be carried by her.
She felt a bad omen.
She was slowly going numb and her voice was hushed. Her heart stopped playing the sound of happiness, because it changed to a fast symphony, with drums, which anticipating the end.
And she swallowed hard, collapsed in the middle of her room, and later, while she slept, something broke: her soul.
When she woke up, she was no longer the same.
‘Go away, please’
Katarina hadn’t wanted to leave her room no matter how much they insisted. Anne stayed with her. She kept an eye on her and took her meals to her and, at night, she would go to see Luigi and Milidiana Claes in their office and inform them about the girl's condition.
According to Anne, Katarina wasn’t well. Her appetite was normal, but she spent most of her time sleeping, hiding under a mountain of blankets trying to hide how much she was shaking. She asked that Keith and her friends not be allowed in and cried for long hours, as if she couldn't get rid of what was afflicting her no matter how many more tears fell. Anne told how the young woman would fade into sobs, then wake up for a few moments, her complexion would turn white, raise a hand and, in a trembling voice, beg for mercy from an invisible presence.
And this was repeated every day. During that terrible week, Milidiana's heart was shattered and, from each piece, it was broken into smaller pieces.
She longed to break down the door to that room and run to embrace her daughter to swear that she would protect her from any evil. If someone had even dared to threaten her, the wretch could now flee as far as they wanted, that Milidiana would catch them and give them their deserved punishment.
Milidiana was still ashamed of herself when, days ago, after her children returned from the market escape that she had not authorized, she immediately went to reprimand Katarina.
However, she stopped as soon as she saw those dull eyes and that mute expression.
Katarina had become a book without content. There was nothing to read.
With her heart pounding, in her mind, Milidiana had to compare her to a hollow doll, which had been deprived of all meaning, all her value.
Katarina had come hollow and she showed it later, when she filled that void with the first thing she found: fear, the most absolute terror.
She said she was going to die.
She cried because it was inevitable, it was her destiny.
Her entire body was shaking as she assured that she hated that life that she’d had to live with the greatest harshness of which she was capable.
When Milidiana heard her say that, she shuddered. She wanted to address the problem, because she didn’t understand the cause of that sudden fear and misery for her life, however, the woman was flooded by the cold of her daughter and began to cry in front of her.
Katarina had opened her eyes wide. She had apologized right away and countless times, very embarrassed, and then locked herself in her room, preventing anyone from seeing her except Anne (because they had to force her to accept having someone take care of her in that state, because she didn't want to let her in either).
Katarina, with tears in her eyes and a doughy voice, had murmured an endless number of incoherencies and, among them, one sank deep into Duchess Claes’ mind.
Katarina said she was a villainess and would ruin anything pretty and happy. She said it about herself.
Why?
That she didn't want to die, that she didn't want to feel that anguish anymore.
That it was impossible to win the race against Death when she was already starting with a disadvantage.
And all of this had deeply disturbed both Milidiana and Luigi. Therefore, they agreed to let her neglect her other obligations and rest in the safety of her personal room, at home. Her home.
Although Milidiana felt very scared after hearing Katarina say that she didn’t want to see Keith or the friends she had made at school.
It was so strange.
So unlike her.
However, what caused the strong Duchess Claes to start having nightmares was waking up one night to find her daughter in one of the corridors, walking like a soul in sorrow, whose eyes pierced her with coldness. Perhaps it was the enlightenment, but Katarina gave her a look full of contempt and resentment, and Milidiana trembled. She fell to her knees, terrified, and watched as her daughter ignored her and turned around, without saying a word.
Later that night, the last of that horrible week, Anne warned them that Katarina had fallen flat on her face to the ground. She had suddenly passed out, for no apparent reason.
And, after that, strange days followed.
But at least Katarina was no longer scary or showed fear.
However, Milidiana would still remember that night. She would remember how her child had almost cried while staring at her with pure hatred. And, although she didn’t understand the situation, Duchess Claes knew two things: that Katarina needed help, support, and that she would be there to show her that nothing, but nothing, had to frighten her, because she was her mother and would protect her from all evil.
Even in the most extreme case, she would protect her from herself.
‘Are you still here?’
Hotaru didn't hear anything before the crash. Perhaps, if she had been paying attention, she would have avoided dying.
But no, she died, of course she died! But when she woke up, she preferred to pretend she didn’t.
"Hmm... This room is really cool," the girl said, rubbing her eyes lazily. She sat down, noticing how soft the bed was, and yawned and stretched her arms over her head. Then she took another look around her. “Wow, and it's really big too.”
She scratched the back of her neck. She still felt Death's breath clinging to her.
She chose not to pay attention to the impression she left on her.
"This doesn't look like a hospital," she murmured, recalling the latest events.
“Miss?”
Hotaru's sleepy eyes opened wide and immediately searched for the source of the voice. She was there, in a corner, and was tall, brown, somewhat thin, and her complexion was disturbingly pale. Her face was a disconcerting grimace and under her eyes there were dark marks.
“Miss?” The woman repeated.
Hotaru shuddered. For some reason, she didn't like that word.
"A-are you the nurse?" She asked.
Right away, she noticed that her throat hurt. More awake, she realized that her voice was somewhat splintered, as if she had been crying for a long time.
She was beginning to get restless.
"I want to see my family."
The woman blinked a few times in surprise and half bowed.
"Of course, I'll let your parents know," she assured.
Hotaru nodded and gave her a big smile despite how strange the woman's gesture seemed to her. And, also, she was wearing a very peculiar outfit, like a maid.
This was definitely not a hospital.
Had her parents sent her to a luxurious place to recuperate? Hotaru doubted that they had enough money to afford this.
Then, once on her own, the girl scanned the room she was in with her curious gaze. It was very pretty, high class. Even European-style, just like Fortune Lover's! Hotaru looked every corner expectantly. Her eyes shone with emotion, because truly that place looked like a scene out of the otome game.
Ah… Speaking of which: she still hadn't been able to finish the blond prince's route, Gerald, what a nuisance. She had made the wrong choices and Katarina had come between the protagonist and the prince. And she had to start over.
She sighed. She would already ask A-chan to pass her a guide to know how to get the good ending.
At the moment, Hotaru didn't want any complications in her life.
God, she had been run over and survived, she was a champion! She had been called ‘monkey’ for climbing trees, but now they would have to call her ‘Immortal Monkey’. She was like a Pokemon that had just evolved.
She laughed at her own occurrence.
It was a bit boring waiting. She didn't like being alone.
By the way…
"Hey, it doesn't hurt at all," she said incredulously.
She blinked a few times and looked down at her hands.
"Hmm?"
Those hands were very white. Hotaru was light-skinned, but not like that. And they looked bigger and… callused?
For a moment, her vision was blurred.
Then she looked at the rest of her and got a little scared, but it would be from the shock, right? It could be that the hit against the vehicle and the ground had stunned her enough that her eyesight was crazy at the time, right? Because… Wow, it didn't make any sense. She had very long legs (and whole and healthy), and her chest looked heavier.
And what worried her most: her hair was very long. It seemed somewhat lighter than normal, but it would be the lighting, for sure.
Sure?
"Well, well… I… Have I been in a coma for a while?" She asked on the air.
Yes, it was stupid.
So, immediately, she grabbed her head and brushed her hair back over and over again, trying to think of some logical reason why her body looked and felt so different from what she was used to. So she turned to her greatest source of knowledge: the manga, anime and novels that she’d consumed throughout her life. And oh, it was so obvious. It was a change of bodies! Perhaps she’d switched with a rich girl from Europe.
But then... Uh, Hotaru got run over, sure she didn't get out of there unscathed.
What if…?
What if…?
What if her soul had transmigrated? The owner of that body in which she was had died just at that very moment by, uh, for example, a strong fever, and, because of that, Hotaru took her place...
Nah, it didn't make sense. And it would be terrifying and disturbing.
The coma theory was more reliable.
Then the door opened.
And no, those weren't Hotaru's parents.
"Katarina!" A tall, well-dressed woman rushed up to her and hugged her tight. “I'm glad you finally want to see us.”
"Huh? What?”
"Do you need anything, daughter?" Asked the man accompanying the woman. His voice sounded very worried.
Hotaru's heart ached.
"No… No." The girl looked away, uncomfortable. “What am I do here?” She muttered. She was freaking out. “Who are you?”
"Katarina?"
Hotaru gulped.
"No," she said, pale.
She didn't add anything else, her mind going completely blank.
The impostors looked at each other, not understanding what was happening.
"Daughter…" the well-dressed woman murmured.
Hotaru frowned and looked both ways. The only ‘daughter’ there would be that girl with brown hair and dressed as a maid. But she didn’t respond to the call.
"Katarina?" Hotaru called her.
Hotaru wasn't Katarina, so it could only be the other one, right?
The maiden's frightened look told her that perhaps she was going the wrong way.
“What happen?” Someone asked.
The entire room, however, was plunged into silence.
Hotaru then curled up under the covers and hid behind them. The cold ran through her whole being and Death's hand was on her head for a few seconds.
Oh sure, she was dead, why deny it?
It remained to find out in what hell she had woken up.
‘Don't take me yet’
She was a small girl with a rounded face, big dark eyes and short hair. She was thin and wore a black gown that concealed the fact that she had no legs.
Looking at her in the moonlight, Hotaru could see how her features constricted and her eyes didn't show any gleam. Her smile was false and the hand she held out was cold.
Hotaru's heart was beating wildly. A cold sweat slid down the back of her neck.
"Hey, what do you want?"
"Hey, what do you want?" The figure before her repeated in a mocking tone.
"You’re not me, give back my body!"
"You’re not me, give back my body!"
Hotaru took a few steps back.
“Please…”
"Please... No, no, no! You're not here anymore. This body is mine. It's my life.”
Hotaru shook her head.
"You are dead, child."
“Go away!!”
The scream was projected across the room, surrounded by darkness, and echoed.
Go, go, go…
“Are you afraid?”
“I'm going to die.”
“I'm going to live.”
Then, Hotaru woke up.
‘Why Katarina?’