Chapter Text
"Come on, guys, there’s a helicopter coming to pick us up. We gotta get to Oakley Park in- oh, shit, it’s 10:52, we’re gonna have to huff it." Al said as himself, Husk and Blitzo came back out on the stage.
"Wait, Al, I gotta say something."
"Not now, Blitzo."
"Yes, now! Today has broken me. I’m ashamed of how I acted earlier with Moxxie… Well, shit, I wanted to abandon Hank back there."
"Husk!" Husk grumbled.
"Gesundheit. And Al, I wish I could be brave like you."
"Shut the fuck up, dude, we gotta go!" Husk yelled.
"But you see, I deserve any kind of abuse you guys wanna give me, aright? Because I have been a grade-A asshole. But I swear, I swear I’m gonna be a better Imp, because today has taught me something, and it’s what’s really important in this life. It’s the people you care about! Hey, Al? I have always considered you one of my best friends-"
Suddenly, Valentino comes out and grabs Al, "WORKING BOYS, WE’RE UP TO OUR ASS IN SHIT!" He drags Al away.
"Okay, I’m just gonna run away right now, I hate you, okay bye!"
"Get the fuck back here, you coward!"
"Hey, I said I’d be a better Imp! I’m still not a good person! Bye! *run run* Fuck that. Alright, I just gotta get to that chopper, just gotta get to that chopper. *here they come* What? Oh, yeah! The military, yes! Over here, over here! Oh, yes, yes! Just save me! I’m the only one that survived; everyone else is dead! Oh, I tell ya, you guys are a sight for sore eyes. You know, I always support the troops. That’s number one. Number two: I bleed red, white, and-" Valentino shoots him
"I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’VE BEEN TOLD
BUT AMERICAN SHOULD FIT A MOLD
THERE’S A WAR TO BE FOUGHT IN THIS COUNTRY
AGAINST THOSE WHO ARE FAR TOO BOLD
TWO-PARTY SYSTEM LEFT AND RIGHT
THERE’S ONLY ROOM FOR RIGHT AND WRONG
IT’S YOU AND ME AND ME AND YOU
THE LOUDEST BECOME THE STRONG
YEAH, WE’RE GREAT AGAIN" Valentino sang.
"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA" the rest sang.
"AMERICA IS GREAT AGAIN"
"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA"
"Thank you, Husker! Oh God, no! General McNamara, they got you, too!" Al said as he and Husk came back onto the stage.
"Who’s General McNamara?"
"He was a good man."
"SIR, IT IS PAUL." The other military personnel spoke.
"Run, Husker, run!"
"YOU CAN’T RUN (WHOA, YOU CAN’T RUN, WHOA)
‘CAUSE OUR BORDERS ARE CLOSED (WHOA, OUR BORDERS ARE CLOSED, WHOA)
YOU’RE STARING DOWN THE GUN (WHOA)"
"Oh my God! We have to get out of here!" Husk yelled.
"The helicopter is coming to meet us here!"
"‘CAUSE YOU’RE EASILY DISPOSED (WHOA, WHOA)"
"What are we supposed to do? Just go through them?" Husk asked.
"Oh jeez, I don’t know!"
"THE FINAL SOLUTION (WHOA, WHOA, WHOA)"
"Just run for it!" Al told him.
"We missed our chance! They’re moving!"
"IS A CHARTED COURSE ON THE WINDS OF OUR OWN EVOLUTION
(WHOA, WHOA)
SINGULARITY HAD THROUGH A PREDESTINED SELF-DESTRUCTION
(WHOA, WHOA)
SO THAT WE MAY REVEAL THE EXPERIENCE OF THE NEW CONSTRUCTION (WHOA)
YEAH, WE’RE GREAT AGAIN" Valentino then chokes Alastor.
"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA" and then Husk shoots him free.
"Al, the helicopter! Come on!" They run off.
"WE’RE GREAT AGAIN, NO ANSWERS
TO BE FOUND
WE’RE GREAT AGAIN, NO ANSWERS
TO BE FOUND" Valentino sungbas the scene changes.
"Oh my God, Paul, we made it!" Husk spoke as the two sat on some chairs set up to be the helicopter.
"No one else is coming, they’ve all been infected! Get us out of here!" Al spoke to the pilot.
"Yes! I thought I was gonna fucking die in Pentagram! But we’re not, Al! We got outta there! And we’re never going back. Fuck you, Pentagram!" Husk flipped off the floor (as if he was in an actual helicopter and flipping off the city).
"Husker, seatbelts! It’s a little bumpy."
"Hey, ma’am? You really saved our asses back there. Ma’am, thank you! Hey!"
"HEY, MR. BUSINESS, HOW DO YOU DO?" The pilot sang.
"Zoey…?"
"CAN WE GET A" pulls out a gun, "TRIPLE FOR YOU"
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" Al and Husker said in a low slow motion sound while always kicking and shit while also in slow motion.
*kick, pew, crash* the lights go down and come back on.
"Husker? Husker!"
"Ugh!"
"Oh Lucifer, Husker, your leg!" Al yelled as Husk crawled out with a pipe "through" his leg.
"Oh, fuck!"
"Husker, I hate to say this right now, but this is what seatbelts are for."
"Shit!" He groanednoutm
"Husker, we’re still in Pentagram; we need to get to the shore! We need to get a boat or something!"
"No, no, agh! Al, I can’t make it. I’m not getting off the island."
"But, Husker, those things are gonna find us-"
"You gotta fucking kill them before they do! The meteor… You gotta destroy the meteor, Al. It’s like your friend said, the hive mind…"
"Which friend? Moxxie? Blitzo? Charlotte?"
"I don’t know your friends’ fucking names! You take the head off, the whole thing goes down."
"Okay… Okay! So I just need to get to the Apple Theater, destroy the meteor, and all these things will drop dead?"
"Yeah, I sure as shit hope so."
"You stay here and try to hang on."
"Hey, Al? I know why you came into Millie’s all those times instead of just going to Starbucks, and it wasn’t ‘cause you liked our shit coffee. Our coffee was shit… ‘cause we didn’t care, and sometimes we would spit in it, and you might’ve drank my spit, but I didn’t know you back then, and I wish I did. Anyways, Al, if we get through this, I would love to see a nice SILENT movie with you. But in case we don’t… kiss me?"
"Okay." The two lean in and then Husk coughs up fake blood and it lands all over Al. "Oh, Husker…"
"Oh, yeah, that’s a lot of blood. I think that’s all of it though, so get back on in here…" he leans in again.
"No thanks. No… I’m sorry."
"Yeah, you’re right, fuck it. Get outta here."
"Okay, byeee." Alastor left and lights dim. Everyone except Al and Idk return to the stage.
"DID YOU HEAR THE WORD?" Val asked.
"WHAT’S THE WORD?" Niffty and Baxter askedml.
"HE’S A COMIN’" the three said.
"WHO’S A COMIN’?" Everyone saidm
"PAUL’S A COMIN’"
"PAUL’S A COMIN?
THE STAR OF THE SHOW"
"LET HIM COME
WORD?" Valentino sang.
"WHAT’S THE WORD?" Baxter sang again.
"HE’S A COMIN’
WHO’S A COMIN’?
PAUL’S A COMIN’
PAUL’S A COMIN’?
THE STAR OF THE SHOW
LET HIM COME"
"The old Royal Apple Theater… There it is: the meteor." Al said as he reached for a grenade
"We’ve been waiting for you, Al."
"Moxxie, stay back!"
"Watch out, Al, he might kick your head."
"And that would be a lah dee da da da."
"Blitzo… Husker's boss!" Al exclaimed.
"That’s right, Al, all your best friends are here." Baxter said.
"We’re happy now. We got what he wanted." Valentino said creepily.
"No. Mr. Davidson didn’t want to become a mindless alien slave! He wanted to be choked by his wife! While he jerked off! I’m gonna put a stop to all this."
"I thought you didn’t care about saving the planet." Charlie said.
"Back off, Greenpeace girl! I pull this pin, and you’re all toast."
"You wouldn’t do that, Al." Niffty said.
"I sure as hell will."
"And what about you? You’d die, too. Is that what you want?" Valentino asked.
"It doesn’t matter what I want."
"We think it does, Paul." Moxxie said.
"And we wanna hear about it." Blitzo spoke.
"In fact, we think there’s a song in you yet!" Valentino said, spreading his arms wide.
"WHAT’S IN YOUR SOUL?
IS YOUR HEART SO DAMP AND BLEAK
THAT YOU WON’T GIVE US A PEAK OF YOUR SOUL?"
"JUST LET IT OUT!
THERE’S A VOICE INSIDE OF YOU
ON THE EDGE OF COMIN’ THROUGH
WHAT’S IT ABOUT?" Sang Niffty.
"AND I KNOW IT’S A SINGULAR VOICE, AL
YOU JUST GOT TO GIVE UP YOUR CHOICE" Baxter sang next.
"JUST LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT" they all sang as Al kinda biggies with the song.
"LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT
JUST LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT
LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT"
"NEVER!" Al screams.
"It’s your proximity to the meteor, Al. The air in here is thick with its spores! Feel your apotheosis begin as they take root in your mind! Did you really think we’d let you kill us? You’ll be one of us before you can pull that pin!" Baxter spoke menacingly.
"What was that?" Al asked.
"You let it out." Niffty said.
"Was that a note?
OR JUST A SOUND
AM I FINALLY COMIN’ ROUND TO A RHYMIN’ SCENE
Oh, God…
JUST STOP IT!
I’m split in two! Is this me,
OR IS THIS YOU?
AM I DEAD?
I’m coming apart
AT THE SEAMS!
LA DA DA, DA DA DA DA DA DA
No!
NO NO NO, NO NO NO NO NO…" Al back and forthed between singing and talking.
"JUST LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT
LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT
JUST LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT
LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT, LET IT-"
"I’VE NEVER BEEN HAPPY
WOULDN’T THAT BE NICE?
IS THIS THE SECRET?
SINGING AND DANCING THROUGH LIFE?
IS MY INTEGRITY
WORTH ANYTHING AT ALL?
BUT HAPPINESS CAN’T COME BEFORE ITS FALL
AM I CRAZY?
MAYBE I’VE ALWAYS BEEN
BECOME WHAT I’VE HATED
OR MAYBE I NEVER DID
IT’S AWFUL FREEING NOW
TO SHARE THE HATE I’VE FELT
BUT WHAT WILL I LET IN IF I LET IT OUT" a sang.
"-OUT, LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT"
"AM I CRAZY, I DON’T THINK SO"
"LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT"
"MAYBE I’VE ALWAYS BEEN"
"JUST LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT"
"GOD, HELP ME"
"LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT"
"IF I LET IT OUT!"
"We will not be resisted!" The others yelled as they all surrounded Alastor.
"I don’t… like… musicals!" Alastor said as he pulled the pin and the grenade exploded. The lights dimmed and the audience clapped.
*news jingle*
"This is the Morning Circle News with Rachel and Rod! It’s been two weeks since tragedy struck our sister city of Pentagram. Candlelit vigils line the streets as Circles citizens try to make sense of this unspeakable loss. Every last man, woman, and child in Pentagram gone in the blink of an eye. A meteor and a ruptured gas line was all it took to wipe them off the map, but it will take much, much more to wipe them from our hearts." Angels voice spoke, now pretending to be another news anchor.
"Is she ready to go?" Niffty asked, now dressed ina. Military outfit to Charlie who was now wearing a nurses outfit. Charlie nodded and Husk came out. "How’s that leg doing, Bob?"
"Yeah, why’d it have to be Bob? I liked my old name. Couldn’t you have picked something similar, like Harry, or… that’s all I can think of."
"That’s a negative, Bon. You’ll get used to it. In the meantime, we can’t have anyone making any connections between you and Husk, who perished in the Pentagram catastrophe."
"Yeah, that was the other thing. You couldn’t even give me a cool death? Like, Husk: his flesh melted off while she was shielding children! You know, something heroic? I mean, it was my idea to destroy the meteor, after all."
"And Uncle Sam is not ungrateful. Here, Bob. This is for you. *queue da folder* Inside, you’ll find a new passport, social security card, and the deed to a five acre plot of land in Circle seven, fertile. Hell of a place to grow some cannabis."
"Thanks. Hey, Colonel Schaffer? You’re sure there were no other survivors?"
"We’ve been through this, Bob. There were no survivors. Save for one pocket-sized pig we found burrowed in the chest of a local woodworker."
"Oh, Nuggets! I’m glad he got outta there."
"Now that is a story that we can disclose to the public. In the wake of a tragedy like this, a little bit of good news goes a long way."
"Yeah. It’s just… Al."
"He was a good man, Bob. If not for his sacrifice, the outbreak would’ve spread to the mainland. It was contained in Pentagram, but if it had gotten loose here in the other Circles, there’d be no stopping it. Goodbye, Bob! Good luck with the pot farm."
"Thanks."
"Oh! One more thing: you’ll be escorted to Circle seven by a Mr. Steven Lands . He’s waiting outside."
EMMA: I don’t know any Steven Lands."
"Well, according to our records, you two were very good friends. P.E.I.P. would like to see it become something more." Niffty walks off and out came Alastor.
"Oh my God! Al! You made it! We made it!" The two hugged.
"EMMA, I’M SORRY
YOU LOST" Alastor sang.
"Al?"
"EMMA, I’M SORRY
YOU LOST YOUR WAY"
"Al, you’re scaring me-"
"WHAT IF I TOLD YOU I MADE IT
AND THIS IS THE LIFE THAT I CHOSE
WOULD YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT, HUSKER
DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?"
"What?"
"WHAT IF I TOLD YOU A STORY
THAT SETTLED ALL THE DUST
I’M STILL THE MAN YOU TRUST"
"No…"
"IT’S INEVITABLE FOR US"
"No! Get away from me! You’re not Al; you’re one of them!" Husk shouted and tried to limp away.
"BEFORE I HAD NO AMBITION
AND NOW MY LIFE IS A SONG
DON’T YOU WANT TO SEE ME HAPPY?
IS THAT SO TRAGICALLY WRONG?
WHAT IF THE ONLY CHOICE IS
YOU HAD TO SING TO SURVIVE"
"WE MUST GO ON WITH THE SHOW
IT’S INEVITABLE" Charlie joined in.
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT, NOW?"
"KNOW WHAT YOU WANT, NOW" the men sang.
"HUSKER, I WANT YOU TO JOIN THE PARTY
ARE YOU GOING TO TIP ME?"
"GET YOUR CUP OF COFFEE"
"LOOK AT THE FUN WE’RE HAVING ALREADY"
"WHAT?"
"I’M FOLLOWING MY CALLING, YOU CAN DO THE SAME NOW
PUTTING WORDS TO LYRICS, AND YOU’RE PLAYING THE GAME NOW
IT’S ALL THERE IS AND ALL THERE EVER WAS"
"EMMA!" Everyone sang.
"LET ME PUKE IN YOUR MOUTH, EM
JUST OPEN YOUR FOOD BIN, GIRL
AND YOU CAN JOIN THE HIVE
BY SHOWING THOSE-" Alastor sang and danced.
"-HANDS, SHOW ME THOSE JAZZ HANDS
GET ‘EM UP, OR YOU’RE SHIT OUTTA LUCK
SHOW ME THOSE HANDS, SHOW ME THOSE JAZZ HANDS
OR I MIGHT BE INCLINED" everyone joined in.
"TO PLANT MY SEED! (OH, WHOA)
THE HIVE NEEDS TO FEED (OH, WHOA)
HAPPINESS IS GUARANTEED! (OH, WHOA)
IF YOU JUST GIVE US ONE LAST-" Al sang and was followed by the others.
"SHOW STOPPIN’ NUMBER
WITH EMMA FRONT AND CENTER
A KICKLINE IS INEVITABLE!
WHAT IF I TOLD YOU A STORY
ON HOW THE WORLD BECAME PEACEFUL AND JUST?
IT WAS INEVITABLE
INEVITABLE,
INEVITABLE!" They all can-caned as Husk was shouting and trying to run away. Going in a complete circle.
"Is this just a fucking circle?!" He yelled.
"The apotheosis is upon-" Al said.
"-US!" Everyone sang and the lights dimmed. The audience clapped and laughed, the cast bowed and waved to the audience. All except for Husk who kept shouting at the audience.
"Can I use your phone?" He asked one member. "WHY ARE YOU ALL CLAPPING!" Soon the rest of the cast picked up Husk and took him back stage. The audience stood and continued to clap and cheer, Lucifer came down with Lilith to congratulate their daughter and talk to Stolas.
"Stolas! Fucking wonderful! I want to see another one of these plays very very soon! This was such a delight!" Stolas beamed at the King of Hell.
"Right away, your Majesty! Blitzy! We need another musical!!"