Chapter Text
“You can’t stop me, Batman,” Freeze said, stalling for time while his freeze gun fully charged for a devastating blast that would knock Batman out of commission for good. “Not this time. I’m too close to saving her. And I won’t let you—”
Freeze stopped, blinking in surprise as a tiny figure in red and green and yellow dropped from the ceiling and rolled to a stop at Batman’s side.
“Freeze, Mr. Freeze!” the child yelled, his face set in what he clearly thought was a threatening expression. “You’re under arrest!”
Freeze eased his finger off the trigger. He had no idea how some civilian child had found them, but he wasn’t going to murder a kid just to get his shot at Batman.
“Do you want to take care of this?” Freeze asked Batman, with a pointed glance at the boy. Maybe while Batman was busy sending the kid home, Freeze could steal the equipment he needed to finally complete his experiments and bring his wife back to him.
Batman hesitated for a moment, no doubt reading Freeze’s less aggressive body language, and then knelt by the kid’s side.
“I told you to stay out of sight,” Batman growled quietly.
Freeze frowned. Batman had known this child was here the whole time?
“You needed my help!” the boy protested. “I was just doing what you trained me to do!”
“I’m sorry,” Freeze said, surprised by his own interruption. “Is this…is he a sidekick?”
“I’m his partner,” the boy informed him.
“Batman,” Freeze said, unable to help the chiding tone his voice had taken. “This is a child.”
“My name’s Robin,” the boy shot back, not cowed in the least. “And we’re going to bring you to justice!”
Freeze looked at Batman helplessly. The vigilante gave the smallest shake of his head and then turned to the boy once more.
“Follow your training,” he said quietly, trying and failing to exclude Freeze from the conversation. “And stay behind me. Do you understand?”
The kid brightened, obviously thrilled by the prospect that he wouldn’t be sent away. “You got it!”
Batman straightened, squaring off with Freeze once more and using the motion to edge slightly in front of the boy.
“You can’t be serious,” Freeze said, glancing between the vigilante and his supposed partner. This could not be happening.
“You could always surrender,” Batman suggested.
Freeze shook his head slowly. “You know I can’t leave here without the equipment.”
Batman dropped into a fighting stance. Behind him, the boy did the same.
Freeze reluctantly raised his gun.
When it was all over, and Batman was handcuffing Freeze for the authorities, the man leaned in close and whispered, “You pulled your punches.”
“He’s a child,” Freeze whispered back reprovingly, furious at how this whole night had turned out.
Batman grimaced just slightly, one of the few facial expressions Freeze had ever seen him make. “Still. Thank you.”
“Hey, Mr. Freeze?” the boy called. Freeze turned to see him hefting the freeze gun. “This thing is really cool.”
“That is not a toy,” Freeze scolded, ignoring the pun.
“Robin,” Batman said, in almost the exact same tone.
The boy made a face and set the gun down with exaggerated care.
Freeze exhaled sharply. This was definitely going down as one of the strangest nights of his entire life.
*
“Well, well, well,” Harley said, arching her eyebrows at the unexpected sight in front of her. “Freezy was telling the truth. You do have a little bird following you around.”
Batsy said nothing, but Harley could tell she’d hit a nerve by the speed at which he launched his little bat ninja stars at her. She sprang into action, throwing in a little acrobatic flair because life was too short to be boring.
“Whoa,” the kid breathed when Harley came to a stop.
“Robin,” Batman said warningly. The kid ignored him.
“But she just did a roundoff handspring layout!” he said, sounding suitably impressed. “In heels.”
“Hold up,” Harley said, throwing out a hand. “You know gymnastics?”
For an answer, the boy threw himself into the exact same combo Harley had just completed, except that he finished his combination with a double layout.
The little showoff.
“Oh yeah?” Harley said when the boy turned to her with a proud grin. “Try this!”
And launched into the most dizzying combination of flips that she could imagine.
“So cool,” the kid said, before copying her exactly and adding in a couple extra skills for good measure.
Oh hell yeah! This kiddie had moves!
“Ooh ooh, okay, try this one!” Harley said, shaking out her legs and mentally mapping out her routine. She didn’t realize until the click of the handcuffs that Batsy had slipped behind her.
“Hey, wait!” Harley complained. “I was just about to do a real stumper!”
“Aw, B!” Robin protested. “Can’t we do one more?”
“No,” Batsy growled at both of them. He looked at the kid. “Go contact the police.”
“Fine,” the kid sighed, reaching up for his comm.
Harley smiled at Batsy, “Where’d you get the kid?”
Batsy’s lips thinned. He said nothing.
“No, seriously,” Harley pressed earnestly. “Were there more? I want one!”
“He’s mine,” Batsy finally growled.
“Couldn’t we work out a time-share or something? Batsy? Hey!”
*
Selina folded her arms and tried her hardest not to laugh. “Hello, little Robin. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Finally!” the kid grinned. “Someone who knows my name! See, I told you it was catching on, B!”
Batman grunted, his eyes trained on her. Smart man. He knew she’d run the second he looked away.
“I take it you’re here for the diamonds?” she asked, patting a pouch on her belt.
“You are paw-sitively correct!” Robin said, his grin widening.
She snorted, throwing another glance at Batman. The most close-mouthed man she’d ever met had chosen this child as his protégé?
This was going to be wonderful.
“I won’t go easy on you just because you’re little,” Selina informed the kid, though the threat was softened somewhat by the smile she couldn’t help throwing his way. That little grin was infectious.
“Then I won’t go easy on you either!” Robin declared.
“It’s a deal,” Selina replied solemnly. The kid puffed out his chest proudly.
And there it was. At the corner of Batman’s mouth. The tiniest little smile Selina had ever seen. It was gone in an eyeblink, but it had been real.
Even if she lost the diamonds, Selina had a feeling this was going to be a night for the ages.