Archive of Our Own ^beta

I want it all with you
And if I'm coming on too strong
It's 'cause I've waited far too long
For someone just like you

This is, without question, the happiest Carlos has ever been. Sometimes the feeling of joy sneaks up on him when he least expects it, Carlos finding himself smiling for no reason at all or feeling warmth spread throughout his chest. He knows that this is the direct result of his relationship with TK. It’s been eight straight blissful months so far and he’s every bit as confident that there will be countless more for them on the road ahead.

Carlos has hit more snags and dead ends than he cares to think about but it’s all been worthwhile to reach a point where he can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s found something meaningful with a person he can feel himself building a life with.

It’s all so second nature and there’s a comfort in that, in belonging.

Mundane things like shopping suddenly feel major to him for the mere fact that he’s alongside TK. Today’s objective is to try and find a birthday present for Michelle. The two have spent the better part of the afternoon having a look around shops downtown hoping to find something that suits her perfectly.

“What do you think about this one?” Carlos asks, gesturing to one of the paintings. 

“I think Michelle would love it but that would look awesome in your hallway, right outside the bathroom.”

Carlos looks at him for a moment before turning back to the picture. He hadn’t been expecting TK to be thinking along these lines, one of his first thoughts being where in Carlos’ home this print would look best. But something about that notion tugs at his heart, to think that Carlos’ place is somehow front of mind for TK.

“Or, I mean, you could put it wherever. It’s not my place to say.”

“I asked for your opinion because I like hearing what you have to say and you’re right. That would be the perfect spot for it. I wasn’t even thinking about it for my place but maybe I should.”

TK beams at him before wandering off, looking at more things inside of the shop. Carlos watches him go with a soft sigh to himself. These last eight months have been incredible but it’s moments like this that make Carlos want more. 

For an outing like this, it’s easy to wrap himself up in the idea that they’re shopping for their home. Carlos knows that TK feels comfortable at his place. After all, the man is over as much as he can be and has a drawer of his own in Carlos’ house but lately, none of that feels good enough.

Carlos has been toying with the idea of taking the next step in their relationship but his biggest fear is that he’s jumping the gun. Carlos has never considered living with a boyfriend before. His relationships in the past weren’t meaningful or long lasting enough to embark on this stage.

But when it comes to TK, this feels like a natural progression. The timing of it all is what gives him pause, the fear that he’s ready for something that TK may not be.

He’s learned all about TK’s last relationship, how TK and Alex weren’t on the same wavelength. Granted, he knows, the dynamics are vastly different but it worries him, just the mere thought of pressing too hard on the gas and moving their relationship faster than TK is actually ready for.

“These are nice, Los. Look at these plates,” TK calls out, pulling Carlos from his thoughts.

Carlos heads over to him, looking at the display TK is standing in front of. TK slips an arm around Carlos’ waist. They continue aimlessly wandering around the store and the whole thing just feels so domestic and comfortable that Carlos’ heart just flutters on its own accord continuously. 

“Ready to head home?” TK asks after they take another lap around the store, coming up short on their mission.

Carlos knows he’s probably reading more into the words but he wraps himself in the belief that TK considers his condo home for himself as well and doesn’t just see it as Carlos’ place. That’s his biggest hope and not for the first time in the last few weeks, Carlos mulls over the thought of putting the concept of TK moving in out there.

Taking a leap like that is daunting but instances like this seem hellbent on fueling the idea.

“Home, yeah,” he says as they walk out together. 

Carlos likes the picture that paints in his mind’s eye, the image complete with TK by his side.

Quiet nights like this are ones that Carlos relishes in. TK dozed off about an hour ago before the movie they were watching even finished. Carlos had raked his fingers through TK’s hair steadily, a gesture that never failed to relax TK enough to rest. He’s still stretched out on the couch with his head resting in Carlos’ lap when he sits up quickly, startling Carlos enough to almost drop the book he’s reading.

“What time is it?” TK asks, glancing over at the clock in the corner. 

“Just after 10.”

TK groans, getting up from the couch and patting his pocket. “I didn’t realize it's gotten so late already. I should head out.”

“Do you really have to go?” Carlos asks, hearing how small his voice sounds.

TK frowns and nods slowly. “Unfortunately. That board lady is coming by in the morning to check out the station. I have the day off but of course my dad wants me to be there to give my two cents on how things are going. I still have no clue what I’m going to wear so I need to pick apart my closet tonight and decide on something. But I promise, the second you get off of work tomorrow, I’m coming over here, okay?”

He kisses Carlos softly on the cheek, stroking his face lightly with the side of his thumb. TK takes out his phone and Carlos can see the signature bright purple of Lyft on his screen.

“You’re joking, right? I’m dropping you home. Don’t be ridiculous,” he says, gently putting a hand over TK’s phone. His boyfriend laughs and shakes his head.

“It’s getting late, I don’t want to keep you out on the roads.”

“It’s not a problem and besides,” Carlos says, rising up from the couch, encircling TK’s waist. “It gives me an excuse to spend more time with you so believe me, this is partly selfish on my end.”

“Hey, I’m not complaining,” TK replies, kissing his cheek again.

Carlos shuts off the TV, leaving on the light in the living room as he grabs his keys and his phone, stuffing the latter into his pocket as they leave his house.

It’s chilly out, TK putting on the hood of his yellow sweater. It’s Carlos’ favorite, even though the memory of the first time he saw TK in it was a sore spot in their relationship. But each time he sees TK in it now, he’s also reminded of just how far they’ve managed to come with one another. They’re a long way off from that tense night where Carlos wasn’t so sure he and TK would even be able to maintain a friendship after their lines of communication became muddled. 

It had been a long and at times difficult road to get to this place now but Carlos wouldn’t trade a single step of it. The love they cultivated was unique and all the more special because it was so hard-won. Now they were in such a happy and healthy place that Carlos could say with full confidence that this is the strongest relationship he’s ever been in.

Carlos unlocks his car and settles into the driver’s seat, TK climbing into the passenger seat and buckling himself in. The radio comes to life with the engine, playing some pop song Carlos has never heard but TK apparently knows every lyric to as he sings along to the music. Carlos rolls his eyes as they drive, TK singing the next song that comes on.

“My poor ears,” he teases with a groan.

“Hush, you know you love my singing.”

“That’s reaching, don’t you think? I’d say it’s more along the lines of screeching, if anything.”

TK lightly swats at his thigh and points an accusatory finger at him.

“You take that back right now.”

“No can do. The truth is the truth. There’s very little I can do about that.”

The entire ride over to TK’s place is filled with laughs and comfortable silences. Carlos always takes comfort in their ability to be relaxed around each other. Even on the busiest, most hectic days, all it ever takes is one moment with TK to make the world feel like it’s no longer spinning.

Far too soon for his liking, Carlos comes to a stop outside of the Strand residence. He can see a light is on inside, no doubt Captain Strand is up watching the highlights of today’s game or going over paperwork, perhaps even both. 

TK looks out of his window at the house before glancing back at Carlos.

“This is always the worst part of any night, huh?” he says.

Carlos is brought up short by this. “I thought you’d be happy to be back home.”

TK shrugs. “I guess but not really. I don’t know what I’m saying,” he laughs. “I must be more tired than I realized.”

Carlos reaches for his hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

“Get some rest. You said we’ll see each other tomorrow, right? I think we can survive until then,” Carlos says though deep down he doesn’t believe a word of what he’s saying. He already misses TK and the man is still sitting right in front of him.

TK leans in and kisses him goodnight, Carlos’ hand breaking away from TK’s to settle on his boyfriend’s hip. Carlos knows he’s being ridiculous for clinging so desperately to this moment. It’ll be less than twenty-four hours until TK is with him again. 

He pulls away after a few moments. “Night, babe. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

TK licks his lips and nods once. With one last smile he’s out of the car and heading up the walkway. He unlocks the door, pausing to wave at Carlos before disappearing inside of the house. Carlos drums his fingers against the steering wheel before pulling off and heading back to his house. Alone.

As promised, the next night belongs to just the two of them with TK making it clear that he had every intention of spending the night. Carlos had been anxious all day at work to get home and enjoy the one on one time with TK.

They spent the night ordering from their favorite restaurant and cuddling up on the couch watching movies. There was nothing truly extraordinary about it but it meant the world to Carlos. The smallest moments with TK counted for a lot in his eyes.

Michelle liked to tease Carlos each time she checked in with him to see how things were going, affectionately calling them a boring old married couple for how often they opted to stay in most nights.

In truth, Carlos likes to think he needs little else other than TK’s company. After dinner they cleaned up in the living room, TK going for a shower before bed.

Carlos turns off the light in the kitchen after getting a glass of water for the night when he hears TK calling out from the bedroom. 

“Carlos, have you seen my— never mind.” Already having started down the hall to see what it is TK was missing and head to bed, Carlos hears the dresser drawer close.

“Everything okay?”

TK is working his arms through an AFD t-shirt, his torso exposed for a moment before the fabric slips down over his frame. 

“Yeah, I was looking for this shirt in my drawer but I realized you did laundry so I found it in the basket,” he says, jutting his thumb over to the recent load Carlos took out of the dryer this morning.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t get a chance to put everything away before work.”

TK kisses the tip of his nose. “Don’t worry about it. Thank you, by the way. I was going to do a load of my stuff tonight.”

Carlos shrugs. “Eh, I was doing laundry anyway. I didn’t mind,” he says, setting his glass down on his bedside table.

TK grabs a hold of his hand once it’s free and pulls him onto the bed with him. Carlos is pliant as ever, allowing himself to be tugged down on top of TK as his boyfriend stretches out against the comforter. 

TK tips his head up and kisses him. Carlos breathes him in, chest aching at the familiarity of TK’s scent, fresh from the shower. He peppers TK’s face and neck with kisses, so much so that TK lets out a laugh and stops him with a well placed kiss on the lips when he least expects it.

Carlos peers down at him, brushing a hand over TK’s hair and resting his forehead against his. He breathes him in for a moment, TK’s hand running soothingly up and down his sides.

“Come on, let’s get ready for bed,” Carlos finally says after another beat, unfurling himself from TK to settle under the covers.

TK follows suit, snuggling under the bedding.

Carlos shuts off the light and immediately TK curls in against him, placing his head on his chest. Carlos has no doubt his boyfriend can hear the change in tempo of his heartbeat but he’s hardly embarrassed over it. It’s no secret that TK has a big impact on him. If anything, he wears it with pride.

TK nestles in for a moment, getting comfortable as Carlos wraps his arm around his boyfriend. They both sigh in contentment at the same time and laugh quietly at the coincidence. 

“I wish we could do this every night,” Carlos murmurs quietly. “I’m happiest when you’re here like this with me.”

TK shifts against him and with the moonlight pouring in through the blinds, Carlos can make out the man’s face as he looks up at him.

“Me too but at least we get nights like this at all, right? We’ll get there one day.”

Carlos nods and places a kiss at the crown of TK’s head.

“One day soon, I hope.”

It takes an awful lot for Carlos to feel nervous but that’s truly the only thing he’s experiencing right now. And perhaps a small case of nausea as well. Tonight’s plan seemed practical enough but as the time draws nearer for TK to arrive, Carlos can admit he’s doing a masterful job of getting lost inside of his thoughts.

This last week has been such a driving force in making Carlos want to go beyond just wishing he could have TK with him all the time to actually coming up with a solution to remedy the problem. Asking TK to move in with him feels like such an obvious next step and while Carlos is nervous since this is the first time he’s asking this of a significant other, he remembers all of TK’s comments throughout the week. If he isn’t mistaken, TK is of the same mind as him and when he asks his question later tonight, he thinks he’ll be met with a resounding yes but he knows it could still not work in his favor if TK thinks it’s too soon.

The doorbell rings and Carlos takes a moment to collect himself, letting out a deep breath as he grips the edge of the counter. He can feel the tension in his shoulders melt a bit but his heart is still racing. There’s very little he can do about that now, seeing TK’s silhouette in the frosted windows next to his front door.

He tells himself to get it together, that there’s truly nothing to be afraid of. Carlos leaves out of the kitchen, looking over the dinner table he’s set up. Tucked under his own plate he can see the envelope he’s secured there for later. He crosses the floor and opens up the door for TK, his nerves finally settling a bit more as he takes in his boyfriend this evening.

TK is dressed up a bit in dark jeans and a printed short sleeved button down that hugs his frame perfectly. Tonight is a special night and it seems like, without even realizing it, TK has gotten the memo.

“You gonna let me in or just admire me all night?” TK asks jokingly. “Though I wouldn’t actually be opposed to you looking at me like you are right now for the rest of the evening.”

Carlos rolls his eyes and steps back to let TK in, locking the door behind him.

“You look good.”

“So do you,” TK says, his eyes glossing over to the table. “And so does this dinner. Pretty fancy setup you’ve got going here. It’s not our monthly anniversary, is it?”

Carlos shakes his head and takes a hold of TK’s hand as he leads the way over to the dining area. 

“No, but I wanted us to have a nice night in.”

He pulls out TK’s chair for him and presses a kiss against his cheek before moving to the kitchen and bringing over the meal to the dining room table.

“Seriously, Carlos. This is impressive. I would have been fine with us ordering in. You didn’t have to do all of this,” he says, looking around at the table, gesturing to the setup.

Carlos had picked up fresh flowers from the farmer’s market, the bouquet giving off the most incredible rich fragrance now. Carlos can admit that he might have gone a little bit overboard but for something as big as asking TK to move in with him, he didn’t think any detail was too small not to act on.

“I know but I wanted to.”

Carlos takes his seat across from TK. His boyfriend smiles at him, shaking his head.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you or any of this but...I’m glad for it. Seriously, you mean so much to me.”

Hearing things like this never ceases to make Carlos feel more assured in his relationship. His bond with TK is undoubtedly the strongest connection he’s ever felt to someone. At times, when he allows himself to give in to fear and insecurity, it’s easy to grow worried that somehow he’ll say or do the wrong thing to upend this relationship. But these last few months have been so consistently incredible that sometimes Carlos can’t even believe his own luck. It’s all just further proof of what he’s known from early on, that there’s something stronger than the both of them at play here.

The two begin their meal, plates piling with the food Carlos prepared. Conversation, as always, is effortless with both men talking about work and catching each other up on the latest going on with them. In the back of his thoughts, however, Carlos is still mindful of the envelope hidden beneath his now empty plate. 

TK makes to rise from the table to begin clearing dishes but Carlos holds up a hand to stop him.

“Wait, before we start that...TK, we need to talk.”

TK freezes, his shoulders stiffening and Carlos realizes that his phrasing must be sending up red flags in his boyfriend’s mind.

“God, no. Not like that. It’s nothing bad, I swear,” he says quickly, hoping to remove any fear or concern the other man may have.

He can visibly see TK relax. “You had me going there for a second.”

Carlos shakes his head. “Sorry for the mini heart attack,” he muses.

TK props his chin up on his hand, peering over at Carlos, giving him his clear undivided attention.

“Alright, well, if this isn’t bad news then what’s up?”

Carlos runs a hand through his hair and shifts in his seat. “We’ve been together for eight months now and they’ve honestly been the best eight months of my entire life,” he starts out.

TK smiles. “Me too.”

“I...I’m not even sure how to go about saying this but I wanted to give you something.”

This is hardly the smooth speech he thought would just flow from him in the moment but it’s clear and direct enough that he can just roll with it now. Carlos slips the envelope from under his plate and hands it over to TK. His boyfriend looks bemused as he takes it from him but he doesn’t say anything until he unfurls the flap and sticks his hand inside and takes out the content.

Carlos had taken care to tie a little red bow on the key through the cutouts on the top. Seeing it now in TK’s hand once and for all sends his thoughts racing into overdrive, so much so that he almost doesn’t catch what TK says to him.

“Ooh, what’s this? The key to your heart?” TK jokes.

Carlos hesitates for a moment, tapping against the tabletop for something to do to alleviate his nerves.

“In a sense, I guess. Home is where the heart is, right?”

TK’s smile fades from his face as he sits up straighter and leans forward, his hand gripping the key more securely now. Carlos reaches for his glass and takes a sip of water, his throat suddenly feeling dry and on the verge of shutting completely now that he’s actually facing this conversation with TK.

“Carlos, what exactly does this mean?”

Carlos sets his glass down, his arms crossed on the tabletop as he looks directly at his boyfriend.

“It means that I love you and I want this to be your home too. I want...TK, I want you to move in with me. I know that’s a big ask and if that freaks you out, I’m sorry. You can keep the key and just use it to come and go as you please. I just...I love how complete I feel when you’re here with me.”

He stops talking then and lets out a small breath. TK hasn’t moved an inch and from the looks of it, he isn’t even breathing. 

“I’m moving too fast, aren’t I? T, I’m sorry.”

“No, Carlos, that’s not—I’m just trying to wrap my head around this. I mean, are you sure?”

“Positive. I’m sure about you, about us. You’re the person I want to come home to every day.”

TK searches his face for a moment before he gets up from his seat, key still in hand. Carlos eases his chair back and TK walks to his side of the table, settling onto his lap and wrapping an arm around Carlos’ neck. He stares at the key in his hand, smiling to himself for a moment. Carlos takes comfort in both their proximity and the expression on TK’s face. 

“Living together. That’s a pretty big step,” TK says in thought, turning his head to look at Carlos directly.

“It is but I’m confident about it. You’re here a lot anyway,” he muses. “You’ve got your own drawer, your favorite snacks are in the cupboards. There are all these traces of you here already. The only thing missing is you.”

TK smiles and leans in, placing a kiss on Carlos’ lips. He gives into it, arms tightening around TK’s waist.

“It actually hurts going to bed without you. I hate it. I legitimately hate the nights you aren’t next to me. Sometimes I reach out and forget you aren’t there. Or I’ll smell you on the sheets and it just…,” Carlos shakes his head.

“I’m sorry. I know this is a lot but I just love you so much. I feel off when we aren’t together and it’s the strangest thing. I’ve honestly never felt like this before. Like a part of me is gone, physically. No one has ever mattered this much to me.”

TK places a hand on his cheek and shushes him softly.

“Carlos, you don’t have to give me an elevator pitch here. I’m already sold. I want to do this. I want to move in with you.” He lowers his hand and smiles.

Carlos closes his eyes, repeating TK’s words in his head. He can feel his boyfriend touch his cheek again, TK’s thumb stroking along the apple of it until Carlos finally looks at him.

“Were you really that worried I’d say no?”

Carlos shrugs. “No…maybe. Yes.”

TK laughs, placing his other hand on Carlos’ face, framing his head perfectly.

“You beautiful, silly man,” he chuckles, kissing Carlos straight down the middle, lips pressing against his forehead, his nose, and his mouth. “I’m so in love with you I can’t even think straight sometimes. You’re everything to me and I will always want to be where you are.”

“Yeah? You don’t think it’s too much too soon?

TK shakes his head. “Absolutely not, no. I’m so touched you asked, that you want to take this step. I think it’s a great idea and we’re definitely ready for it.”

Carlos sighs in relief, resting his forehead against TK’s, nuzzling his nose softly against TK’s before kissing him once again. His boyfriend cradles his face and Carlos loses himself in it all but if he’s freefalling, TK will surely always be there to catch him. TK breaks away and places kisses at his jaw and neck, burying his face there and drawing in a breath as he holds onto Carlos.

Carlos basks in TK’s embrace, welcoming this new stage of their relationship with open arms.