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Hoseok and Jungkook had always shared a special relationship, the members were aware of it.

In general, BTS was a very close and synergistic group but Hoseok and Jungkook’s relationship was something that went far beyond that.

According to Yoongi, it's because Hoseok is the older omega of the group.

"What do you mean?" the others asked and Yoongi explained that Hoseok was almost a parental figure to all of them.

Hoseok was a source of comfort for all of them, not only because of the sweet chamomile scent which calmed everyone's nerves, not only because the instinct of an omega was inevitably linked to the protection of the home and their loved ones but because Hoseok, even before presenting, had always been caring and kind by nature.

In his presence, everyone felt safe.

Each of them, far too many times to be able to count, had found themselves in his arms, enjoying the heat that his body emanated and sinking their noses into his scent gland.

But with Jungkook it was a little different.

First of all, Jungkook was the only one of the group who hasn't presented yet.

This, and the fact that he is the youngest, meant that the pack was always incredibly protective of him and that Jungkook himself felt strongly connected to them.

In particular, Jungkook was especially comfortable with Hoseok and Jimin, the two omegas of the group. Two stable, kind and calm figures who took care of Jungkook from the start, even before they presented.

But it was Hoseok particularly who Jungkook doted on.

There wasn't an apparent reason, but Jungkook had taken Hoseok as his role model since he first arrived at the dorm, with his chubby face and sparkling bambi eyes.

It was Jungkook who had cried when, during their trainee days, Hoseok had decided to leave the group.

Hoseok remembers very well how the boy, with his cheeks completely wet with tears, had clung to his arm like a lost puppy and asked him not to leave him, his voice trembling and broken.

It was Jungkook who, from the beginning, observed with adoration Hoseok dancing, who hung from his lips, always craving for compliments and advice from the older, always asking Hoseok to stay with him after practice to continue perfecting the choreographies.

And in reality, those extra hours of practice always turned very quickly into the two boys freestyling or dancing to girl group’s choreographies, filling the practice room with laughters.

Hoseok was the only one Jungkook let himself be hugged by when he was younger, when he still wasn't comfortable with skinship and open affection.

Hoseok was the only one who could hold him in his arms without any warning, the only one who could cuddle him, the only one Jungkook didn’t ran away from exclaiming that he was too old for those things (when, in reality, he was just embarrassed, as Jungkook admitted years later).

And even now that Jungkook is twenty, the situation has not changed, Hoseok continues to have a special place in his heart.

The others often joke about it, teasing them here and there when they find them clinging to each other on the sofa or mentioning how Jungkook always observes Hoseok with those big eyes of his full of admiration and reverence, as if Hoseok was a divinity.

And Jungkook blushes, lowering his head, asking his hyungs to stop and making the others chuckle and, after leaving him a pat on the shoulder, reassuring him that there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

That it's nice to have such deep affection for a person.

Everyone laughs except for Hoseok who instead forces a smile while inside himself guilt eats him alive.

Hoseok doesn't laugh because deep in his heart he knows why Jungkook is so attached to him.

They never explicitly discussed it but Jungkook's gaze have always been enough for Hoseok to understand.

Jungkook has always been an open book for everyone in the group, and honestly, to Hoseok it seems like he doesn't even actively try to hide his feelings from the omega.

And Hoseok hates all of this with his entire being.

Because although Hoseok insists on pretending and not thinking about it, the truth is that for him too Jungkook is more than a colleague, a friend, a pack member.

The affection and the need to remain by his side only dramatically grows day after day for Hoseok who does everything to avoid facing his feelings.

Someone from the outside might take him for a fool. Why should he hate the idea of his feelings being reciprocated?

Hoseok isn't really sure of why.

At the beginning it was for the age. Jungkook was – still is – very young and Hoseok in no way wanted to take advantage of him or let himself go and then maybe see Jungkook regret it in a few years.

But then Jungkook came of age and he became a little less shy in his demonstrations of affection towards Hoseok, and the latter justified his behavior by repeating himself that it was only for the harmony of the group.

But, as much as Hoseok wants to believe in it and convince himself of it, deep in his heart he knows damn well that that's not the reason why he doesn't want to accept Jungkook's advances.

The truth is, Hoseok doesn't know why.

Perhaps, if only he would take some time to really think about it, he would understand it, he would be able to find an answer.

But the point is, Hoseok doesn't want to. He’s not ready, perhaps he never will be.

He doesn't want to analyze his feelings and fears, he doesn't want to allow his feelings and instincts to take over.

And so Hoseok pretends that nothing is wrong. He smiles, continues to sleep cuddling with Jungkook when the latter gets on his bed, he ruffles his hair and pretends that his big bright eyes don't affect him.

He moves on with his life with the band and ignores the faint voice of his wolf who whispers, impatient and aching, to let himself go. That Jungkook is the right one.

Even if he hasn't presented yet.

But Hoseok grits his teeth and silences his wolf, ready to play pretend as he always perfectly did.

Until everything falls apart.

Hoseok's heat hits him suddenly.

It should have come in three days and yet Hoseok now feels his body go up in flames, his muscles stretch and a stabbing pain in his stomach.

He should probably have foreseen it, these days he was particularly stressed and heats can come early or late in these kind of conditions. But Hoseok was so lost in his head that he couldn't even predict it.

And now he's squirming on the sofa in their living room, gasping as hot tears run down his face, his mind clouded with pain and the visceral need to have someone close to take care of him.

Hoseok doesn't know what to do. His mind is clouded, he has no energy and he's beginning to lose slick, wetting his clothes and the sofa and impregnating the whole house with an intense scent of chamomile with a hint of honey.

It’s usually Jimin who takes care of him during his heats, but now Jimin is not at home.

Nobody is at home at that moment. No one can therefore take care of him.

The omega is alone.

Hoseok is alone and his wolf inside him cries desperately as he begs Hoseok to find something, someone to relieve his pain and suffering, to make he feel good and to fill him, to give him puppies.

With a tremendous effort, Hoseok manages to crawl off the sofa and reach his bedroom, more in need than ever to be reassured by his bedroom’s walls, while two fingers already sink into his hole, trying in vain to give himself a little relief.

But it's not enough, it's never enough.

Hoseok bursts into tears when his weak knees give way and he - fortunately - capitulates on the bed, but without allowing him to reach the closet with his toys, his only hope of being able to find some relief.

And Hoseok sobs. He sobs because it's the first time he's been in a heat completely alone and he wasn't ready, he wasn't ready to feel so empty, so desperate, so alone.

Hoseok just wants someone to take care of him, he wants to be surrounded by another scent, he wants to be filled, he wants to feel a knot push his hole.

Because his hands and fingers are not enough, because everything he does is never enough to satiate him.

Hoseok is so out of his mind that he doesn't even realize that someone has crossed the threshold of the apartment and is calling his name repeatedly. He simply continues to moan and move his hips, letting his member rub painfully on his sheets and at the same time meeting the movements of his fingers.

And then-

And then Hoseok hears someone flinch and his wolf immediately starts screaming please please please as a mantra.

Hoseok finds the strength to turn towards the door without stopping moving four fingers inside him and he instantly releases a whimper when he realizes that on the threshold of his room, with his eyes wide open, there is no other than Jungkook.

"K-kook." Hoseok moans, moving his fingers more quickly and coming for the umpteenth time on the sheets - already soaked in sweat and slick - this time more intensely, feeling extremely turned on by Jungkook’s stare on him.

Because it's Jungkook. Because Jungkook is seeing him in that condition for the first time. Because his wolf, as well as Hoseok himself, want nothing more than to be destroyed by Jungkook, they want nothing more than Jungkook and his sleeping wolf to take care of them.

And Jungkook is still, his mouth wide open and his eyes dark and wide, unable to take his gaze away from Hoseok's dainty naked figure, surrounded by his own ripped clothes, his legs covered in slick and wide open, his red eyes and cheeks furrowed with tears.

And Hoseok is too out of his mind to realize what he's doing, to block what comes out of his mouth a second later.

"J-jungkook, please"

"Hos-" the younger one begins to speak but he’s immediately interrupted by Hoseok's whining.

"Please."

Jungkook remains silent for a few moments and then he slowly approaches Hoseok's bed. "Are you sure?"

Hoseok nods fervently, then he begins to rub on the sheets, his member hard again just at the thought of being fucked by Jungkook.

And a small part of him is trying to tell him that he will eventually regret it but Hoseok is tired and horny and his wolf wants nothing more than Jungkook's proximity.

And Hoseok can't fight him this time.

And so, for the first time, Hoseok let his wolf take over.

With his face buried in the sheets, Hoseok lifts his ass and presents it to Jungkook, shaking it slightly to entice the younger one to do something soon.

Hoseok moans when he feels Jungkook's cold hands touch his cheeks and spreading them, allowing Jungkook to observe his red, slick-filled hole, desperately gaping on nothing.

"H-hyung," Jungkook whispers, almost as if he's afraid he'll ruin the moment if he tries to speak out loud.

"Hyung can I eat you out?" Jungkook asks, making Hoseok groan again just at the thought.

"Y-yes" Hoseok manages to reply, eager to feel Jungkook's tongue in contact with his skin.

Jungkook doesn't have it repeated twice.

He kneels on the bed and then brings his face close to Hoseok's ass, starting to leave small bites on his cheeks.

And for Hoseok this waiting is a pleasant torture, so he says nothing and lets Jungkook do what he wants with him, move his body as he likes, take full control of the situation.

But Jungkook soon reaches his hole, perhaps aware that teasing is not something to do in the middle of a heat.

And so Jungkook begins to experimentally lick Hoseok's hole making the omega whimper at the sensation of the young man's wet tongue touching his hole.

Soon, Jungkook begins to lick with more vigor and confidence, tasting Hoseok’s flavor and his slick as if he was tasting the nectar of the gods.

"You taste so good, hyung." Jungkook murmurs in a hoarse voice and then resumes licking with enthusiasm.

And then Hoseok hears it. He feels the tip of his tongue slowly enter and then exit him.

Hoseok moans, completely lost in pleasure, unable to formulate a meaningful word. And he can feel Jungkook's smile on his skin, that little smile reserved for moments of personal satisfaction. Jungkook smiles and then penetrates him completely with his tongue, causing Hoseok's back to arch.

It doesn't take long for Hoseok to start fucking himself on his tongue while the only words he can utter between moans and whimpers are "more" and "right there".

New tears wet his cheeks as his hand reaches his member and he begins stroking it, feeling closer and closer to climax.

It’s only when Jungkook inserts a finger along with his tongue and begins poking his prostate repeatedly that Hoseok comes on his sheets moaning Jungkook's name.

When Hoseok lays down on the mattress, completely exhausted, Jungkook walks away from him and heads for the bathroom.

A few seconds later he emerges from the bathroom with a wet cloth with which he wipes Hoseok.

"Mhm... it's useless to do it, this calm will not last long..." Hoseok murmurs.

"I know but I also know how much you love being clean, so I want to make sure I clean at least part of it so you have less work to do afterward."

Hoseok smiles between the sheets as his cheeks turn ripe peaches at his caring gesture. "Thanks, Kook."

It’s only when Jungkook returns from the bathroom again that Hoseok, observing him sideways, realizes that the younger is still hard.

"You're still hard." He whispers, drawing Jungkook’s attention and making him ruffle his hair, smiling sweetly.

“I know, but I'm here for you. Don't worry, hyungie."

Hoseok remains silent for a few minutes until he feels the urgent need to have Jungkook close to him, closer than ever.

"J-jungkookie." He whispers whimpering. "Jungkookie can you lie down with me?"

Jungkook opens his eyes wide, surprised by the omega’s request. "Are you sure?"

Hoseok nods. "I need to have you near me." He tells him, suddenly feeling shy and exposed.

Jungkook leaves another caress in his hair and then takes a blanket from Hoseok's closet with which he covers the boy. Then, when Jungkook is about to sit on the bed ready to slip himself under the covers, Hoseok weakly whimpers.

"Have you changed your mind, hyungie?"

“No…” Hoseok murmurs. "Without clothes."

"Oh. All right." Jungkook agrees, starting to take off his clothes one after the other until he’s just in his boxers. And Hoseok, if he hadn't been that tired, would probably already be drooling, because Jungkook has a stunning body and it's simply impossible not to admire him.

After all, all these years, he has worked hard to become so athletic and to build muscles. But Hoseok didn't ask Jungkook to undress for thirsting over him, at least not now. Hoseok just wants a little intimacy, the sensation of a warm and familiar body that squeezes you, of skin that rubs against other skin.

"C-could you place them around me?" Hoseok asks shyly and Jungkook immediately seems to understand that Hoseok would like his clothes to be used to build a nest.

Jungkook carefully arranges the clothes around Hoseok and then goes back to his closet where Jungkook knows he keeps some of the members' clothes to use to build a nest when he’s in heat or he just needs comfort.

When Jungkook seems quite satisfied with the result and Hoseok himself doesn't ask him to move anything, Jungkook finally lies down on the bed next to the omega who immediately reaches Jungkook's chest, placing his head on it and surrounding his torso with an arm, enjoying the heat that Jungkook's body gives off.

"Comfortable." He mutters, making Jungkook adorably giggle.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

Jungkook resumes stroking his hair slowly, whispering something in Hoseok's ear. However, the omega is too exhausted to be able to really understand what Jungkook is saying.

Under the young man's caresses, Hoseok can barely keep his eyes open and soon he falls asleep in Jungkook’s arms, a small blissful smile framing his face.

When Hoseok wakes up after a few hours, he does so because the omega feels discomfort and suffocating heat again.

Hoseok opens his eyes, panting, and immediately feels the need to touch his already hard erection. When his hand touch the sensitive skin, Hoseok whimpers and only then he does realize that he’s not alone.

Jimin joins him right away and starts stroking his hair.

"Ssh, it's okay" he whispers to him softly and for a moment Jimin’s familiar peach scent is able to calm Hoseok's mind.

"Do you want one of your toys?" Jimin asks and Hoseok immediately nods.

This is how the omega usually passes its heats, on his bed, surrounded by the other members’ scents, Jimin helping him and taking care of him.

But as Jimin gently rubs his erection and Hoseok fuck himself with one of his toys, the omega feels more empty than ever.

He can't understand why, his mind is completely delirious and clouded with excitement and hormones but Hoseok inside himself feels that something is wrong, he feels the lack of something, he feels like he’s forgetting something important.

It’s only at the end of the three days of the heat, when Hoseok finally begins to regain energy and clarity, that the omega remembers who he spent part of his heat with and how good he felt.

Jungkook.

At the thought, Hoseok feels his heart in his throat and a sudden desire to cry.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, the omega keeps repeating itself in his mind.

All these years Hoseok has always been careful to safeguard his heart and to ensure that Jungkook never sees him during one of his heats to ruin everything due to his weakness.

And how will Hoseok look Jungkook in the face now? How will be able to lie to him and tell him it was just a mistake? Hoseok feels sick at the very thought.

And so, even though his heat has passed and everyone expects Hoseok to leave his room with a tired smile at any moment, the omega decides to stay holed up inside, under the covers, in the dark.

Keeping his eyes closed and taking deep breaths, Hoseok tries not to burst into tears.

He doesn't know how long he stays in the darkness of his room, but at a certain point someone knocks on his door and a moment later opens it, timidly entering the room.

"Hoseokie hyung?" with his unmistakable caramel scent, Taehyung whispers his name and walks over to the bed.

"Mhm." Hoseok murmurs, too exhausted to even say more.

"Are you okay, hyung?"

Hoseok for a moment considers lying to him. But the omega is aware that it would be useless, even if Hoseok was able to hide the discomfort from the eyes of others, his now bitter scent is a proof itself of his feeling.

"Not that much, Tae."

Hoseok is almost convinced that the beta is leaving when the young man whispers "Do you want an hug?"

And Hoseok should be the one to take care of others, he should be the one offering hugs to his pack members and cheering them up, he should be comforting them with his scent but Hoseok is tired and sad and his heart hurts.

This time he needs to be comforted and so, he selfishly accepts with a whisper.

And when Taehyung lies down next to him, in the same spot Jungkook was just a few days ago, and he hugs him tightly and firmly, Hoseok has to make an effort again not to burst into tears because he’s immensely grateful to Taehyung for being beside him but he’s not Jungkook, it's not the same and Hoseok feels empty.

The next day, Hoseok realizes that he cannot hide in his room for the rest of his life.

Hoseok has a comeback to prepare, he has bandmates to take care of.

Hoseok has a roommate who yesterday was kind and understanding enough to sleep somewhere else to give Hoseok his space.

The idea of having to talk to Jungkook makes the omega feel bad but it is necessary, it is something that he cannot avoid and the more he postpones it the more he risks aggravating the situation.

So Hoseok gets out of bed, collects the blankets and sheets and throws them in the basket of dirty clothes, shivering at the idea of having slept on such dirty sheets and, finally, takes a long shower, fortunately regaining some strength.

But when he arrives in the kitchen, the atmosphere that reigns is not what the omega expected.

Gathered around the table are Jimin and Taehyung, in front of their tired and absent expressions a cup of coffee and a cup of tea for Taehyung.

"Uh... what's up?"

"Hobi!" Seokjin exclaims and only in that moment Hoseok notices his presence and above all the dark circles under his eyes that match Jimin and Taehyung’s ones.

What did they do to shrink like that?

“Hyung, what's going on? Are the others in the studio?"

Seokjin seems to be visibly tense at the omega's questions. He bites his bottom lip as if he’s considering what to say and then gestures for Hoseok to sit on the couch next to him.

The omega follows him and confusion is evident on his face.

When the two men are seated, Seokjin takes a deep breath and grabs Hoseok's hand, squeezing it gently.

Hoseok is definitely starting to worry.

Something serious happened.

"Jungkook has a fever."

Hoseok frowns, unable to grasp exactly why they all seem shaken by something like that.

Seokjin must have understood his confusion because he repeats his words once more, this time emphasizing the word "fever" and raising his eyebrows in an allusive way.

And it’s only in that moment that Hoseok seems to put two and two together and understand the implication.

That's not just a fever.

Jungkook is presenting.

"Since when?" Hoseok asks, suddenly feeling anxious to hear the answer.

Seokjin looks away and Hoseok has already understood.

"Since he helped you with your heat."

"Shit."

"Hobi-"

But Hoseok doesn't want to talk to Seokjin about it. He doesn't want to be scolded by the beta for his weakness and doesn't want to think about provoking Jungkook's presentation. Not now.

"Please, hyung, not now." He tells him.

Seokjin just squeezes his hand and caresses it with his thumb, silently agreeing with his request and having evidently felt in his change of scent his anxiety and his nervousness.

“Jimin, Taehyung and I have been taking turns these nights to take care of him. Yoongi is keeping him company right now. You know how it is, he cannot be left alone in such a crucial moment, he will need all the help he can get when the presentation is complete. Namjoon is at the company to discuss the situation and how they’re going to announce it to the public."

Hoseok nods and for a moment he can't help but feel guilty for not helping, considering not only his caring nature but also the deep affection that has always bound him and Jungkook.

Sure, he was in the middle of his heat, but yesterday he could have made himself useful in some way and instead he even bothered Taehyung who was probably already tired due to the current situation.

On the other hand, Hoseok is not even sure if right now he would be able to properly take care of Jungkook.

He doesn't think he is even the most suitable. What would happen if he presented while Hoseok was there? What would happen if in the middle of Jungkook’s first heat or rut he begged for Hoseok to spend it with him?

Would Hoseok be able to refuse?

Would he be able to not react to the pheromones Jungkook would release? He doesn't know, honestly.

So, silently agreeing with the members, Hoseok decides to stay out of it and rather take care of the other exhausted men instead of Jungkook.

He keeps telling himself that Jungkook is in good hands, that the others are absolutely capable of taking care of the young man, but his wolf does nothing but cry and try to rebel, unable to accept that anyone other than him is around Jungkook's awakening wolf in such a delicate moment.

But Hoseok continues to hold out, for himself and for Jungkook.

When, a few days later, Namjoon comes out of Jungkook's room and announces to everyone that their maknae is an omega, Hoseok honestly doesn't know if he's surprised.

Hoseok never really thought about what Jungkoook might have been but he absentmindedly thought that Jungkook had a really good chance of being an omega as much as an alpha.

Jungkook has always had many qualities that suited both so, unlike other people, the doubt with him remained until the very end.

But while everyone around him screams and expresses exaltation and emotion at the idea of omega Jungkook, Hoseok is hit with a sudden realization.

And in that moment it all suddenly makes sense to him.

Why he has always rejected Jungkook's advances, why although he’s in love with him, he never said anything, why he’s so scared that Jungkook’s in love with him too.

Hoseok realizes that being bandmates has never had anything to do with it and that not even their slightest age difference has ever been the real cause.

No, the reason why Hoseok has always been so scared of letting go and freely loving Jungkook has always been because there was a risk that Jungkook could be an omega too.

What would have happened if Hoseok had started to date Jungkook and the latter, once revealed as an omega, had left him?

Hoseok could never have blamed him, after all, although relationships between people with the same sub-gender were not a taboo, they were still something unusual and not very widespread.

Any omega would have preferred an alpha, it was in their nature. Their bodies are made to intertwine and fit perfectly with alpha’s, like two puzzle pieces.

And Hoseok should feel relieved that Jungkook is indeed an omega and Hoseok certainly spared himself a lot of suffering, yet-

Yet Hoseok just wants to cry.

Because no matter how hard he tries to suppress his feelings, Hoseok is in love with Jungkook and having the knowledge, the certainty, that nothing can ever happen between them, breaks the omega’s heart.

His heart beats fast, his breathing is labored and Hoseok suddenly feels suffocated, he needs to be alone, to catch his breath, to burst into tears in peace. So he begins to move towards the front door, without saying anything to anyone.

And maybe someone has noticed him, maybe someone is calling for him, from the voice it sounds like Yoongi, but Hoseok cannot and does not want to stop and therefore he leaves the house and reaches his studio as quickly as possible.

Nobody will bother him once inside but above all, everyone will think he’s working when in reality Hoseok is sitting on the studio’s floor with his back leaning against the door and hot tears running down his face.

Hoseok decides to do perhaps the most cowardly thing of all: run away.

Run away from his feelings, run away from his troubles, run away from his pack members’ worried looks, run away from Yoongi's - and his embittered tangerine scent - who tries to stop him to talk every single day.

Run away from Jungkook.

He’s aware that it’s not the wisest and most mature choice to make, he’s aware that he has created a less relaxed atmosphere in their house, but Hoseok needs to safeguard himself and the only way to be able to do his job decently and not burst into tears every damn minute of the day is ignoring what caused these unstable feelings: Jungkook.

So, Hoseok forces a smile and pretends that all is well, ignoring his wolf's protests, and trying not to interact more than necessary with Jungkook, limiting himself to speaking to him only if necessary and trying to look him in the face as little as possible.

He tries, Hoseok really tries.

But the truth is that this whole situation is draining him.

It's hard to pretend in front of everyone, it's hard to practice their new song, Fake Love, where he has to touch Jungkook's hand and look at him in his eyes every single time. Singing something he defenitely wrote having Jungkook in his mind and that makes his heart sink again and again.

It's hard when everyone watches over them because as much as he tries, nobody is fooled by him and they definitely know something's wrong with them.

But night are hell for Hoseok because during the nights Hoseok’s mask falls and the omega can't think of anything other than the sad and hurt expression on Jungkook's face.

Because Hoseok wants to protect his heart but in the meantime he doesn't want to break Jungkook's.

Yet he knows that behaving this way will led to that, but Hoseok doesn't know what else to do.

So, hidden among the covers, in the darkness of his bedroom, Hoseok cries until he falls asleep.

And when the next morning he wakes up, the omega finds himself in Jimin's arms, who watches him with those worried but at the same time so caring eyes, making Hoseok curls up in his arms while the younger one strokes his hair and tells him that everything will be fine.

"Hoba." Namjoon draws his attention.

"Hey, is it just you?"

"Mhm. Yoongi hyung is at the studio and the others went to a bar."

"Got it." Hoseok says, trying then to pass over Namjoon to reach his room. But a squeeze on his wrist forces him to stop and turn to Namjoon who observes him with a gentle look.

"I wanted to talk with you." The alpha tells him and Hoseok sighs, already aware of what the topic of discussion will be.

Without letting go of his wrist, Namjoon gently drags him upstairs to their rooms.

"Your room or mine?" he asks and Hoseok is grateful to have such a caring alpha by his side. For a moment he thinks of proposing his room, but imagining the main topic of their talk, makes Hoseok feel the sudden need to be surrounded by a stronger scent that makes him feel safe, like Namjoon's woody one.

"Your room." So he replies.

The two young men reach Namjoon's bed, on which they sit next to each other, letting their knees lightly touch.

"I would ask how you are but, honestly, it's quite evident on your face, even though you've been trying to hide it for days." Namjoon starts talking, making Hoseok feeling embarrassed.

"I'm sorry."

“You don't have to apologize for not feeling well, Hoseok. But this situation is making you miserable and it's making Jungkook feel bad too. Most of all, it hurts me that you are holding everything inside when we are here, ready to listen to you."

"I should be the one to take care of you and console you, not the other way around." The omega mumbles, his gaze fixed on his legs, too embarrassed and afraid to look at Namjoon in his eyes.

"Hoseok." Namjoon's tone this time is more serious, almost urgent, and it pushes Hoseok to focus his gaze on Namjoon.

“The fact that you’re an omega or that you like to take care of us doesn’t imply that the opposite cannot happen when you need it. Before being alphas, omegas or betas we are human, with feelings and with our limits. You should never go through it all alone, it's not what you do in a family, in a pack, it's not what we do here. None of us will ever judge you for being human and having feelings, okay?"

Hoseok nods, touched by Namjoon's words, as a small tear runs down his face.

And the omega knows that it has always been like that for them, he knows that none of them could judge him or not have the desire to be of help and comfort him, but Hoseok is no longer able to analyze the situation in a rational way.

Maybe he really needs help, needs to talk. Maybe he really needs someone to help him emerge from the abyss and allow him to see everything more objectively.

"I-I don't know what to do, Namjoon." He whispers.

Namjoon doesn't say anything, he just pats him on the shoulder, allowing him to feel his presence.

"I'm in love with Jungkook." It’s the first time he has says it aloud and for Hoseok it’s almost a liberation, his chest suddenly seems lighter, as if a big invisible brick had been crushing him all that time.

"I know." Namjoon replies and then he chuckles at Hoseok's surprised expression. "Come on, we've known each other for years and it's not like you've ever been that subtle!"

Hoseok blushes at his words, coughing in the hope of dispelling the embarrassment. "But Jungkook is an omega."

Namjoon raises an eyebrow at his assertion. "So what?"

“He's definitely going to want an alpha…” Hoseok murmurs.

"Are you really that dense?"

Hoseok eyes wide and he raises his head towards Namjoon. "Huh?"

“Jungkook is crazy about you, Hoseok. He looks at you as if you hung the moon or something!"

"Yes but when-"

“No 'yes but', Hobi. You're depriving yourself of something for stupid 'what if's when you could and should talk to Jungkook himself. Have you ever realized that by behaving like this you are also deciding for him, you are depriving him of the possibility of being able to build something with you?"

Hoseok wides his eyes, shocked, and only at that moment, only thanks to Namjoon’s words, he seems to realize how much his actions are actually affecting Jungkook's life. By deciding to not talk to him, he's indirectly forcing Jungkook adapt to a situation that he maybe doesn't want.

Hoseok doesn't want to choose for him, he doesn't want Jungkook to feel constrained, cornered, yet that's exactly what he's doing.

"I'm an idiot." the omega murmurs, bringing his hands to cover his eyes.

Namjoon approaches him and surrounds him with his arms, leaving a kiss in his hair.

“You're not an idiot, you panicked. Love can sometimes lead to this too, not everything is always all fun and games. The important thing is to realize your mistakes, reflect on them and be able to communicate."

"I didn't want to hurt Jungkook." Hoseok whispers faintly, closing his eyes and letting himself be lulled by Namjoon’ scent and warmth.

"I know, Hobi, I know."

Thus Hoseok falls asleep.

During the next few days, Hoseok doesn't speak to Jungkook.

Not because he doesn’t want to clarify but because, being this a delicate situation, Hoseok wants to find the most suitable words to express himself.

Thus, Hoseok spends most of his time reflecting and putting down a cohesive speech.

And maybe Hoseok is still a little afraid to face the situation and Jungkook, he’s afraid that Jungkook is angry, he’s afraid that Jungkook doesn’t want to be with him, he’s afraid of ruining their precious friendship or to being a burden to the group, but Namjoon's words stuck in his head and the guilt would end up eating him alive if Hoseok gave up and didn't talk to Jungkook.

Hoseok is making himself a coffee and is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t perceive the presence of a second person inside the kitchen until they approach him from behind, wedging Hoseok between the kitchen counter and their body.

Hoseok jumps, taken by surprise, and when, after turning around, he realizes that the person pressed against him is none other than Jungkook, he can barely hold back a scream in surprise.

“J-jungkook! What are you doing?" Hoseok asks in a shaky voice.

Jungkook doesn't reply and just pulls their faces even closer, until his nose touches Hoseok's scent gland, making him shiver.

"J-jungkook?"

Jungkook leaves a kiss on his neck and then goes up until, this time, his mouth touches Hoseok's right ear. "I think it's time to talk, hyung."

"About what?" Hoseok asks, pretending to not understand. Coward, a little voice inside him whispers.

Jungkook abruptly pulls away from him and Hoseok can see a flash of anger on his face.

“Don't play dumb, hyung, it doesn't suit you. We both know very well what I want to talk about."

Hoseok sighs heavily.

"Okay, okay. Can we at least sit on the sofa?"

Jungkook smirks, "No, I don't want to risk you running away from me."

Hoseok rolls his eyes but finally nods, knowing that he won't be able to avoid it in any way. After all, when Jungkook gets something in his head it’s difficult to make him give up.

“Why are you avoiding me? Have I done something wrong?"

Hoseok immediately wide opens his eyes and then looks down, weakly denying with his head.

"Did you regret spending part of your heat with me?"

To answer this question, Hoseok needs to think about it for a few seconds.

Did he regret being with Jungkook? Having shown himself in those conditions? Sharing something so intimate with him?

No. The truth is that Hoseok could never regret it. His memories during his heats are always clouded but if there is anything that Hoseok clearly remembers it’s how he felt protected with Jungkook presence.

Hoseok again denies with his head.

Jungkook sighs and then he grabs the omega's chin, making their eyes mirror each other.

“So, what's the problem, hyung? I don’t understand! I thought you felt something for me but then after your heat you pushed me away. While I was in bed with a fever everyone came to keep me company and take care of me except you, hyung, the only person I wanted with all my heart, the only person who makes me feel safe and sound. I thought I overstepped some limits during your heat o-or misunderstood all this time and-"

"No!" Hoseok snaps, making the younger omega jump. “You didn't misunderstand anything. B-but you are an omega." Hoseok whispers.

Jungkook frowns immediately. "I don’t understand." He admits.

“Y-you are an omega, Jungkook. I am an omega."

"Don't you want an alpha by your side?" asks Hoseok, as a lonely tear runs down his face.

And Jungkook suddenly opens his eyes wide, as if he finally understood what Hoseok is trying to tell him. His hands release their grip on the kitchen counter to gently grab Hoseok's face, wiping the tear away with his thumb.

“I only want you by my side, hyung. I wanted you before I presented and I want you even more than before now."

"Huh?"

Jungkook smiles sweetly at the visibly confused expression on Hoseok's face. He then rests his forehead on Hoseok's.

“My wolf. I can feel his urgent need to be by your side. It’s as if, even while he was still asleep in me, he was so used to your presence, to the company of your wolf, to go crazy when he was left alone. Hyung, my wolf only wants you, he can only see your wolf as his mate. I only want you as my mate. I don't care what the fans or the press will think, I don't care about alphas. You are everything I want, everything I've ever wanted."

And Hoseok is now crying because for years he has tried to suppress his feelings, for years he has repeated himself how wrong they were, for years he has deprived himself of something that could have made him happy.

Because these past few weeks have been hell for him, because staying away from Jungkook hurts.

Because Jungkook reciprocates and doesn’t want to replace him with anyone else.

And his wolf coos and howls euphoric and Hoseok has never felt him so prominent, he has never felt closer to him.

Hoseok closes his eyes and he begins to speak, between one sob and another. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for creating this misunderstanding, for making you think things that aren't true."

"Shh, that's okay, hyung."

Hoseok shakes his head. "No, it's not okay, Jungkook." He says faintly.

“I was a coward and made a decision regarding our relationship without consulting and talking to you. I've been a terrible hyung."

Jungkook surrounds Hoseok in his arms and places a kiss in his hair. “You were scared and fear doesn't make us think rationally. It makes us do stupid things. Do you remember when a few years ago for the fear of the microwave exploding I almost made the house burn? Same thing." Jungkook whispers, making the omega chuckle.

Hoseok then plunges his nose into his scent gland, deeply inhaling Jungkook's rich ginger scent for the first time, letting himself be comforted by it and by the pheromones that Jungkook is releasing into the air.

"My sweet hyung, the most precious person in the world." Jungkook whispers, stroking Hoseok's back.

Hoseok lets out a whimper at his words.

"What?" asks Jungkook and Hoseok, once satisfied and completely immersed in Jungkook's scent, raises his face and sets his gaze on the younger’s kind and curious one.

"Kiss me."

And Jungkook doesn't let him repeat it twice. He grabs his face firmly and their lips meet for the first time, making the wolf inside Hoseok tremble.

It’s an intense kiss, full of emotions, affection and fears. It’s a wet and languid and impatient kiss. Because they both have dreamed for years to place their lips on each other, to be able to savor and exchange their flavors.

Hoseok and Jungkook kiss and kiss and kiss again and time seems to have dilated around them, the world has stopped and the only really important thing at that moment, in that too big kitchen in the middle of Seoul, is the two of them, their lips sealed to each other, their hands that with decision and yet so much delicacy caress each other.

And maybe they should take their time, maybe they should keep talking because they still have so many things to tell each other, so many little secrets kept in their hearts for years, but Hoseok and Jungkook are tired of waiting, they are tired of thinking.

And so, for once, they let themselves completely go, they let their instincts guide them, they let their wolves take over.

They continue to kiss as they move awkwardly around the house, trying to get to the nearest bedroom. They burst out laughing between kisses when they hit some wall or the table. And maybe tomorrow they'll have big bruises all over their bodies but that's okay.

And when the two omegas finally reach Jungkook's room, their clothes disappear one by one, carelessly left on the ground, regardless of the creases that they will surely find on them tomorrow.

Hoseok lies on the bed on his back and stares at Jungkook taking off his boxers, the only piece of clothing left on him.

When Jungkook reaches him, the two omegas start kissing again with the same enthusiasm as their first kiss, tireless, hungry, insatiable.

And then Jungkook breaks the kiss and begins to leave a wet trail of kisses on Hoseok's sculpted jaw and delicate neck, and he can't hold back the moan that escapes from his lips.

And Jungkook goes down, lower and lower, kissing his collarbones, his chest, his nipples, his stomach. Whispering "pretty" between kisses and a thousand and more compliments that make Hoseok squirm.

Jungkook treats Hoseok as if he was a work of art, handling him with care, observing him with reverence, caressing him with kindness, filling him with love.

Even when Jungkook finally takes him in his mouth, Hoseok feels loved.

Jungkook pits his cheeks and begins to move his head up and down, almost making Hoseok scream. But he continues to do it with surprising delicacy, he continues to do it as if he feels it’s his duty to make Hoseok feel good.

And damn if Hoseok is feeling good. The omega seems to have crossed the gates of heaven and he finds himself forced to stop Jungkook when he feels he’s already close to the limit.

"I want you inside me." He whispers between kisses, making Jungkook move slightly away from him.

"Are you sure?"

Hoseok nods. He has never been more sure of something like now. It doesn’t matter that it may be too soon, it doesn’t matter that they will have a lot of time from now on and can take things calmly, they have already waited too long and now Hoseok, lying on the bed while looking at Jungkook observing him with such an intense look but still full of love, wants nothing else than that.

And Hoseok would not be able to describe in words the intensity and pleasure he feels the moment Jungkook pushed in him.

Hoseok surrounds Jungkook's hips with his legs and his neck with his arms, keeping him anchored to him, closer than ever. And he doesn't actually really need it, because Jungkook squeezes him with the same desperation in the same way, their chests touching, as he kisses Hoseok’s face softly, whispering to him that he loves him.

And Hoseok would like to answer as well, he would like to scream that he loves him too, but in reality he cannot formulate a coherent sentence, not under Jungkook's adoring gaze, not while the omega above him languidly kisses his neck and his jaw, not when Jungkook touches him delicately, as if he were touching a small dainty flower that could break facing bad weather, a first edition of a great and famous classic, delicate and rare and precious.

Hoseok can only kiss him back in the hopes that it can convey to Jungkook how special he is, how much he is loved and how much he is everything for Hoseok.

Hoseok can only reciprocate his caresses with the same attention and dedication.

And when Jungkook finally begins to move inside him, Hoseok struggles not to close his eyes and he keeps them on Jungkook's, wanting to watch him, not wanting to miss any little moment.

With their bodies adherent to each other and united for the first time, with their scents that mix with each other creating an intoxicating fragrance, with their eyes the mirror of each other, their hands find each other and hold each other. They hold tight like anchors, as if they were the only thing that reminded them that this is reality, that none of what is happening is a dream.

The two omegas moan and whimper and gasps, creating new and unheard melodies while they let themselves go completely and their wolves are in pure ecstasy.

Jungkook looks away from Hoseok and sinks his face into his scent gland and keeps thrusting in him. He’s never too rough and he doesn't move too fast, but his thrusts are slow and deep, making Hoseok cry with pleasure.

The younger one kisses his neck and then gently kisses the tears adorning his cheeks and Hoseok feels loved like never before.

Hoseok feels safe and venerated in Jungkook's strong arms and this is what makes him reach the limit, the knowledge that he has found his person, the one who will love him and will always take care of him.

"Keep going." Hoseok moans weakly as he feels Jungkook slow his thrusts. The omega resumes his thrusts and Hoseok closes his eyes, immersed in the high of his orgasm and letting himself be overwhelmed by the pleasure and pain caused by the overstimulation.

And after a few more thrusts, Jungkook comes too, spilling into Hoseok and collapsing on top of him once he's finished, his muscles on fire and exhausted, but his heart full of joy and love.

Hoseok immediately brings a hand to caress his soft hair, making Jungkook sigh blissfully.

He then leaves a kiss on the Hoseok's chest, just where his heart is.

He then turns his gaze to Hoseok and smiles at him so sweetly that Hoseok's heart almost melts.

And there, in his arms, with their noses seeking comfort in the scent glands of the other – which now smell of both – Hoseok feels at home.

And oh, now Hoseok can finally answer Jungkook, he can finally tell him how much he loves him.

"I love you." He then tells him, no more fears.

And Jungkook's smile gets even bigger, even brighter, at his confession.

"I know." He whispers, approaching Hoseok to be able to kiss him once more.