Chapter Text
Realistic Realist perused the internet website with the Blind Date bios. "'I like dogs and long walks on the beach.' Boring. 'Don't tell my husband.' Yikes. 'I'm Elon musk send me your credit card info.' Bitch please. Why is there no one my type here?"
"What, what would you say is your type? Like for reference." Inversive Realist sat next to him pretending to scroll through reddit.
"Strong, likes intellectual discussions, realistic, duh, umm maybe tall, reads philosophy, nice hair."
"Huh, you basically described you. Or me, haha." He smiled awkwardly with no one to see it because RR was staring at his phone. "Not that we'd, like.. Haha, wouldn't it be crazy if we were a couple?"
"Yeah bro, that'd be funny," Realistic said deadly, looking through more profiles. "Ooh this guy says he likes Barnes and Nobles"
Inversive sighed quietly, and pulled up a groupchat on his phone.
- Hey bad news he called me bro
- and then talked about some barnes and noble guy
- Oh no!!!! :(((( so sry :(
- bro dont focus on him 2 much he is distracting u from teh improtant. like learnign, dont let any1 disrtact u from learn, they do that in 1984
- Orwellian no!!!!! He needs emotional support!! >:(
- Sorry I shouldn't have angry faced. That was rude :(
- np
- Yall what do i do????????
- Tell him your feelings!!!!!! <3 You got this :D
- ye seconded. tell him
- and if he reacts bad post it on yt u can make $$$ if it goes viral
- No!!!! Focus on love!!
- or dont lol
- Not everything has to be monetized that can crush people’s passions! :’( be understanding pls
- no. heck off
- Be nice language pls?
- CENSORSIHP!! bad
Inversive closed his phone, knowing the argument they were going to start, and put it on silent. "Hey uh Realistic."
"Yeah?" He didn't look up from his phone.
"Can I ask you.. a thing?"
"Yeah hold on a sec tho."
"Ok" Inverse replied.
Realistic tapped a few more things. "Bro I think I found my date he mentions moral philosophy in his bio."
Shit. "I.. thought you didn't like moral philosophy? Because it's not about logic and facts?"
"Yeah no he says it's bullshit, and I agree, and he says he's 6'1."
"Everyone lies about their height on those."
"I know. But I'm going out with him."
"Cool," his voice cracked, "congrats."
"Thanks."
Inversive opened his phone. 27 new messages. Probably all of them debating monetizing interpersonal conflict. Great topic, but he was not in the mood.
- how fucking dare you fondant is the work of satan
- Why do you hate it so much????? :(
- He's going out with someone else.
- oh shit
- Oh no!!!!
- u ok bro?
- I'm fine. I can still be happy as his friend.
- You have to be true to yourself <<<<3333
- ^^^^^^
- Thanks for the support