Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You won’t hurt me. I know you won’t hurt me.

She flinched and tried not to yelp as the man behind her cuffed her wrists and then used the grip he had on her hair to drag her forward. She didn’t have the energy to pay attention to him, singularly focused instead on the man before her.

You won’t hurt me.

The refrain thundered in her head, almost as if she could somehow force him to hear her thoughts. She stared back at him, hoping he’d see it in her eyes.

See that she still trusted him.

I know you won’t hurt me.

He looked at the man pulling her hair. He’d always been hard to read, but she thought, just maybe, he was angry. Then he turned around. “Bring her. Snoke’s waiting.”

*~*~*

Bazine and Rey Netal. Mama Maz. She had a family.

Not the one she’d wanted, had been waiting for, but one so much better because they were real and there and they loved her and wanted her around.

Maz Kanata had swooped in from nowhere and scooped them both up, seeming so much bigger than life, even though at nine Rey was already taller than her soon to be new mother.

They went from the third (fourth?) foster home they’d been placed in together to the real home of Rey’s dreams.

It was small, but Mama Maz called it their castle, and Rey thought she was right.

When they did the paperwork, Maz asked if they wanted to change their names, and if so, what name or names they wanted.

Bazine said no.

Rey said sisters should have the same name (even though she already knew that wasn’t always the way it worked) and if Bazine was keeping her name, Rey wanted that one, too.

Rey Netal.

She liked it loads better than Johnson or Jackson, and definitely better than Doe. Someone had a sick sense of humor when she was found as a toddler—christening her Doe-comma-Rey-Michelle. Bazine was the only one who had ever gotten away with calling her Doe-Rey-Mi, and only because Baz was the one who beat up the boys teasing little Rey after they watched the Sound of Music. That had been in their first shared foster home, the one where the sisters had met.

They’d lucked out with the same social worker, Mr. Bakker—a giant bear of a man with a bushy beard and a growly voice. He let everyone call him Chewie but even at five Rey had been sure he had a real name. Chewie had somehow managed to keep Rey and Baz together, and when they ended up placed with the Plutt family, he’d worked extra hard to get them back out.

That was how Maz found them.

Rey had stared in wonder and asked if she was Chewie’s girlfriend, and she’d laughed and said he wished he could be so lucky. Then Chewie laughed too, muttered “Someday, woman,” and it felt good and right and Rey smiled too.

It took a while, but someone “pulled some strings” (whatever that meant) and Bazine and Rey got to go home with Maz and never had to see Plutt again and that was it, their happily ever after.

At least it should have been…

Rey sniffed and blinked again as her eyes burned. She’d run out of tears a while ago. They’d be back. She’d learned quickly that the tears never went away completely. It had been fast, only months from the diagnosis until she and Baz had sat, one on either side of the bed, and watched as their beloved Mama Maz took her last breath and slipped away.

They hadn’t been alone, still weren’t, but Rey hadn’t felt this alone even before she’d found Bazine. She sniffled again and swiped angrily at her nose with a crumpled tissue, leaning against Baz. Her sister wrapped an arm around Rey’s shoulders, giving her a squeeze, and Rey let herself pretend that Baz was doing that as much for herself as for Rey.

Poor Baz, barely eighteen, only just a legal adult and out of high school for two months, and she had to be a grown-up—like, the real kind that paid bills and made decisions and took care of their dumb little sisters. Bazine and Mama Maz and some of Mama’s friends had worked to set everything up so the girls could stay together, and Baz kept insisting she wouldn’t even consider anything else, but Rey still felt bad.

Baz turned to greet the next person in line and shake their hand, and Rey shrank back. It was torture, all these people she didn’t even know coming up and saying how sorry they were, shaking hands and trying to hug them and asking things like, “What will you do now?” and “Do you have any other family?” and then looking meaningfully at Rey. She knew what they were really saying: Sorry you’re stuck with the kid. Can’t anyone else take her?

Those were the times Bazine hugged her harder and glared back and practically growled, “Thank you for coming,” before turning to the next person.

Rey sniffed again and sensed movement behind her just before a large hand dropped on her shoulder and she relaxed and maybe shivered a little but if he noticed he pretended not to.

Him.

Ben Solo.

He was older than Bazine, but they’d met in the fancy, private Amidala High School. Maz had gotten Bazine a scholarship, and Rey had one to Naberrie Academy, the private K-8 school down the block.

Ben and Baz always said they weren’t dating, just friends, and Rey couldn’t help but be a little relieved.

Because she was quite sure, with all the confidence of the super mature twelve-year-old she was, that Ben Solo was the love of her life.

She wasn’t dumb, she knew she was just a kid, but she’d grow up one day and an almost nine-year age difference wouldn’t be a big deal, then. She just had to be patient.

Rey was good at being patient.

After all, she’d waited years for her parents to come back (and they still might, Mama Maz always said anything was possible) and she’d waited for Mama Maz to adopt her. She was still waiting patiently for a puppy, and it didn’t look like that wait would end anytime soon, either.

She could wait for Ben.

She would.

Rey fell asleep in the car.

Ben was a good driver, and his car had leather seats that were soft and cushy and he always kept it at just the right temperature so Rey never got too cold. Bazine was in the front beside him, and didn’t even argue when he went through a drive through and ordered food for all three of them. They ate in the car, in the back corner of the parking lot, even Bazine (because Ben refused to start the car again until she ate something) and Rey stretched out in the back seat and barely noticed when they did move again.

She thought she woke up in the driveway. She supposed it might have been a dream, but Rey was almost certain she was in that half-asleep state where her brain was awake and she could hear what was going on around her but she couldn’t move because her body just wasn’t ready.

Ben and Baz were arguing.

“She’s too big for that. You shouldn’t.”

“Seriously, Baz, she’s tiny and she’s exhausted. Just let me help, at least for today.”

“Ben, she’s twelve, not seven. You can’t just—”

But she stopped talking as Ben pulled Rey out of the car and stood up, carrying her like a much younger child—or a bride, Rey preferred that option even though she knew he didn’t think of her that way—and said, “You gonna get the door or do I need to do that part too?”

Rey heard the click of Bazine’s sensible heels on the driveway and then the hollow thud of them on the wooden porch steps. Rey felt the change in angle as they moved up the slight incline of the sidewalk and then the porch steps and she stirred, finally making her eyes blink and looking up at Ben. He noticed (because of course he did) and smiled at her. “I’ve got you, Lil Bit, you can go back to sleep.” She nodded (she thought she did, anyway) and let her head fall back on his shoulder.

She woke up in her own bed, shoes off but otherwise still in her funeral dress—navy with lighter blue and pink flowers, because Mama Maz always said it was her favorite—and her head hurt. She could hear the murmur of voices from the next room, Mama’s—well, Bazine’s now, really, it had been for a few months. Ben and Baz were talking, and she couldn’t hear what they were saying but she thought Bazine was crying again, and it sounded like Ben was telling her he’d help with…something, and then the bed creaked (just once) like they sat down or lay back on it.

Rey wondered if they were having sex.

It was a thing that happened, right? When someone died? It made other people want to have sex, to remind themselves they were still alive.

At least that was what her friend Rose Tico said. Rose had heard it from her older sister Paige, and Paige was in college and really smart and knew almost everything so it must be true.

Rey listened but there were no more sounds other than Baz crying again, and that made Rey want to cry again, but her whole head hurt from so much crying for so many days already, so she got up and went to the closet, hanging up her dress and pulling on her old gym shirt and a pair of denim cut off shorts.

Bazine’s door was open, and she could see Ben and Baz just sitting on the edge of the bed, still in their funeral clothes too, although Ben had taken off his suit jacket and loosened his tie, and both of them had taken their shoes off—probably downstairs.

“Hey, Lil Bit,” Ben said, “Feeling better?” Rey nodded and Bazine looked up and offered a watery smile as she held an arm out. Rey didn’t hesitate to go in and sit on the other side of her sister, letting Bazine hug her close, and Ben moved to get his arm around them both (his arms were long) so they were all hugging and for just a little while, Rey thought maybe everything would be okay after all.

Ben basically moved in, which meant Rey giving up her room and doubling up with Bazine (not that Rey was complaining about that) and helped them through the end of the summer with all the things that came up after Maz’s will was read and the sisters settled into orphaned life once more. He helped Bazine apply to the police academy the next town over. He was already in, even though he had a degree and had originally planned to go to law school. They managed to go through training together (Rey always suspected the mysterious string puller who had helped Maz adopt them had been called upon again). It wasn’t so bad, they were both able to be home at night, and a few of Maz’s old friends had volunteered to “keep an eye on” Rey, even though she was absolutely old enough to take care of herself and didn’t need a babysitter.

Then Ben and Bazine got hired into separate departments, and he was pretty scarce, but after a couple of years Ben transferred and he and Bazine ended up partners and it was good again. He didn’t live with them anymore, not after that first summer, but sometimes it felt like he may as well. He was just always there, and Rey had come to count on his presence.

He tried to set Baz up on dates, and she always had an excuse for why she “couldn’t right now,” and teased him about maybe worrying more about his own love life than hers. They had pizza and movie nights, and Ben was the secondary emergency contact on all the paperwork for Rey’s school and it was a different kind of family but it was good.

Eventually they both made detective but moved to different divisions. They still saw each other—not as much, but he was always a call away if needed. Rey was sure Ben was the only reason she passed AP Chemistry, and when she came home in tears because she had failed her first calculus quiz, he took her for a hot fudge sundae instead of the well-balanced dinner he had sworn to Bazine they were going to pick up. After they got back, he sat with her at the table for over an hour going back over the problems and it suddenly just made sense.

In the fall of her senior year, Snap Wexley invited Rose and Rey to a party at his house. They got there to find no adults, more alcohol than was in stock at the nearest liquor store, and a bunch of college kids who were already drunk.

It wasn’t so bad, though. Everyone was having fun and the punch burned but it tasted…well, not good exactly but it wasn’t terrible, and the second sip tasted better than the first. Rey only drank the one cup and kept an eye on Rose and their other friends Finn and Kaydel, but she wasn’t exactly having fun.

Then one of the college guys asked Rey how old she was and she didn’t lie. She told him she was seventeen, and the way he looked at her, that was creepy enough, but then he said, “close enough” and alarm bells went off in her head, setting off her fight or flight instincts.

Bazine was working late. Again. She’d been doing that a lot, lately, and whatever case she was working was really getting to her.

Rey didn’t even think about it before she called Ben, and then she looked for her friends and did her best to avoid creepy-college-guy. She was successful in keeping the older guy away from her, but she couldn’t find anyone but Rose. Unfortunately for Rey, Rose was making out with Snap Wexley and wouldn’t be thrilled if Rey dragged her away, considering how long she’d been chasing him.

Rey glanced around once more, hoping she’d catch a glimpse of Finn or Kaydel, then slipped outside to wait for Ben. She was surprised to find him already parked at the curb and just closing the driver’s door on the luxury SUV he’d gotten a few months ago.

He saw her and opened the passenger door, waiting as she crossed the lush, manicured lawn of the Wexley home. He wanted to lecture her, she could tell, and was probably itching to call and have officers break up the party, but he just closed the door once she was inside and stalked around to get back in while she buckled her seat belt.

She watched him as he drove, his hands clenching and unclenching on the steering wheel in the same pattern as his jaw was working to hold back the words she knew he wanted to throw at her.

He really was gorgeous.

She wasn’t sure what possessed her to do it, maybe it was the fact that she’d had a crush on him since she was nine years old, or that now that Rose had made out with Snap Wexley, Rey was the only one of her friends who hadn’t been kissed, or maybe just that the stupid punch was stronger than she realized, but when he pulled into the drive way, she unbuckled her seatbelt and raised up on her knees, leaning in close.

He ducked away, putting one of his massive hands on her shoulder and holding her back with little to no effort on his part.

“Rey, kid, don’t. You need to go inside, drink some water, and go to sleep.”

“I’m not a kid! I’m seventeen!”

“Exactly, Rey, you’re only seventeen. You are absolutely a kid, and you’ve been drinking.”

She felt her lip tremble, vision going all blurry. “But I love you!”

“No, you don’t, not like that.” He shook his head, glaring down at the steering wheel and adding, “Even if you did, it’s wrong and nothing’s ever going to happen. Now, go inside, lock your door, and go to bed.”

He wouldn’t look at her, just continued to glare down at the steering wheel as she ran into the house, dropping her keys twice before she even got the door open, but he did wait until she closed and locked the door, backing out of the drive and tearing off down the street.

She cried herself to sleep, absolutely sure she’d ruined everything. She’d never see him again and she was doomed to be an old maid and die alone.

Chapter Text

He sighed and closed his eyes. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Neither should you!” She hissed the words, surprising them both with the venom lacing the statement.

“I’m exactly where I need to be, and you are complicating things,” he said, grabbing her arm and practically dragging her out of the corner.

“Ouch! Stop it! You’re hurting me!”

“Not yet, I’m not,” he muttered, and she had to admit (at least to herself) that it was true. He might be bruising her pride, but he was being surprisingly gentle compared to how it must look to the others in the room, not to mention watching on the security monitors.

He stopped and stepped back, and she made an actual pain sound when one of the men (guards? maybe?) stepped up behind her and grabbed her ponytail to jerk her head up, forcing her to straighten her back. He kicked her feet apart before briskly and efficiently checking her for weapons or wires or whatever else it was that they were worried about.

“No marks.” Ben’s voice was gruff, harsh. That and a fractional and momentary narrowing of his eyes the only hints that he might be less than happy with the other man’s treatment of her.

She heard a sound she knew well and flinched away as the man behind her renewed his grip on her hair and moved to cuff her hands behind her back.

She looked at Ben, only at him.

You won’t hurt me. I know you won’t hurt me.

*~*~*

Eighteen.

Rey practically bounced out of her bed the morning of her birthday, showering in record time, even for her. School was out for the summer, she’d passed all her exams and accepted a scholarship to one of the top universities in the state, and Baz had promised Rey and her friends a day at the beach and as much junk food as they could possibly eat or carry.

Ben was finally going to take her out on his motorcycle.

Things still weren’t the same between them, but he’d let her blame the disastrous attempt to kiss him after Snap Wexley’s party a few months back on alcohol, hormones, and a fictional game of truth or dare.

He was careful not to be alone with her, not that there was much of a chance with as busy as he’d been with whatever huge case he was working. He’d practically stopped hugging her or touching her at all. She missed them, the innocent touches, the hugs and pats on the back and kisses on the cheek or forehead, just like he gave Baz and used to give Maz.

More than that, she missed his smile.

When they’d first met him, Rey had been very much herself and he’d laughed and smiled and Maz had said she hadn’t seen him that happy or amused in a very long time.

Rey hadn’t seen Ben smile in months, maybe even a year. Pulling her hair back and checking one more time to make sure the string of her bikini top was tied securely, Rey resolved to change that.

For her birthday, she wanted to see Detective Ben Solo smile, just like he used to. Even if it meant he thought she was an amusing, dumb kid.

She practically ran down the stairs and into the kitchen and skidded to a stop. Bazine was at the table and she looked like she’d been crying.

“Baz?”

Her sister jumped and turned in her chair, nearly falling out of it. She sniffed and gasped and wiped furiously at her eyes and face before standing and facing Rey. “Oh, hey! You startled me! Didn’t realize you’d be up, yet.” Baz smiled, big and bright and forced. “Happy birthday, Doe-Rey-Mi!”

Rey stared at her and waited, but Baz seemed determined to pretend everything was fine.

Rey crossed her arms. “What’s happened? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing babe! Just tired—long night, you know. But it’s your birthday so staying up all night so we can spend the day together was worth it.”

She sounded almost frantic.

“You’re scaring me, Baz.”

Bazine carried her mug to the counter where the ancient coffeemaker resided. “Don’t be silly, Rey-Mi. Everything’s fine. Now, pancakes or waffles?”

“Baz! You’re still wearing your gun and you won’t look at me. You’re the one who’s always telling me to trust my gut. What’s happened? Is someone hurt?” She gasped as something occurred to her. “Is it Ben? Is he okay?”

Baz stiffened, frozen in place for a moment before her shoulders slumped like she was collapsing in on herself. “He’s fine, Rey,” she said flatly, “Physically at least.”

Panic. Panic and alarm bells going off inside her. “What does that mean?”

“I can’t…Rey, please.” Her sister’s voice broke and Rey thought she was crying again.

Bazine hadn’t cried since the cancer ran its course and Maz died in the stupid, blasted hospice bed that had ruled over the living room for two months. Not even a single, solitary tear since the day of the funeral.

She needed to know. Bazine had to tell her.

“What is it? Did you two get into some kind of fight or something?” Bazine just shook her head and Rey got angry. “Fine! I’ll just ask him when he gets here.”

“He’s not coming, Rey.” Bazine’s voice was hard, cold, and Rey flinched at the tone.

“What do you mean? Of course he is! It’s my birthday. He wouldn’t miss it. He promised. He said—"

"He's dirty, Rey," Baz said, cutting off her protests. "Ben Solo or whatever the hell he's calling himself now is a dirty cop—a criminal—and if you ever see him again, you turn your ass around and run the other way, do you hear me?"

Rey nodded dumbly, shocked and numb. Ben? The same Ben who taught her how to balance equations and bought her ice cream when she failed her first calculus quiz and picked her up and took her home without hesitation when she called from the first (and last) party she went to? It couldn't be true...it just couldn't.

But Bazine sounded afraid. For so long, Rey had believed nothing scared her sister because Bazine did not show any sign of fear—ever.

She took a shaky breath, wanting to ask a question but unsure what that question should even be.

“Babe, Rey-Mi, I’m sorry.” Rey let Baz hug her but she didn’t hug back, just stood frozen in her shock. “I didn’t…I wanted to wait, at least, until after today. He’s…there was some kind of investigation, I don’t know details, just a few rumors, and the brass told me he’s dangerous. I…whatever shit he’s involved in is major.”

Something didn’t quite ring true. Lying. Rey had a moment’s thought that Baz was lying about something, hiding something. No. She wouldn’t. They didn’t do that.

“It’s the case,” Rey said weakly. “It has to be. Whatever he’s been working on. He’s a UC, right? That has to be it.”

Baz took a step back, and the pity on her face was what broke Rey. “No, baby, no, he’s…whatever is happening, he’s on the wrong side.” She paused, looked away for a moment. “Rey, I need you to promise me, okay? If you see him, if he tries to contact you, if…if you even think he might be somewhere nearby, you need to run, get the hell away from him and call 911 and then me, in that order.” Rey blinked, the words not making sense, not yet. “Rey, do you understand?”

She nodded once, slowly, then again, a thrashing jerk of her head. Baz pulled her close again, stroking Rey’s hair as Rey cried while the butt of her gun poked into Rey’s ribs. “Rey-Mi, I am so sorry,” Baz offered in a broken whisper. “I know you’ve always…” she shook her head and stepped back.

“It’s okay, you can say it. I’ve always had a stupid, obvious crush on him.”

“No, babe, it wasn’t stupid. Nothing about you could ever be stupid.” Baz swiped her thumbs over Rey’s cheeks, wiping away the tears just as fresh ones fell. “He’s just not worthy of my little sister’s adoration.” She made a choking sound, holding back her own sobs before whispering, “I’m not sure anyone ever could be.”

Rey called Rose and asked her to let everyone else know the birthday plans were canceled (or at least postponed), not feeling much like celebrating anymore. She knew the fact that she called instead of texting would be enough to convince Rose to do as she asked without questioning it right away, not when she could hear how upset Rey was.

Oh, she would ask. She definitely would. But later, after Rey had some time. Rose would come over, Finn and Kaydel in tow, and the three of them would flop onto Rey’s bed with her and wallow in misery with her until she was ready to tell them as much as she wanted to, as much as she could.

It was how the four of them worked. They supported each other, respected the need to wallow, then dragged each other back into the world when it was time.

They’d done it when the news came about Paige’s accident while she’d been on a semester abroad, and sophomore year when one of the idiots on the lacrosse team outed Finn, and last spring when Kaydel caught her boyfriend cheating on her with his twenty-two-year-old stepmother.

Just…in the past…Ben had always been there too, waiting until they were ready, and he’d followed along when they braved the great outdoors again, and bought them ice cream and sodas and all the things Baz wouldn’t keep in the house because they weren’t healthy (she’d gone on a real health kick after Maz got sick, and Rey’d had to sneak every bit of processed sugar she’d had since).

But this time Ben wouldn’t be there.

Hopefully.

Because if he showed up, she would have to make the call to turn him in, and she didn’t even understand what for.

She rolled over and buried her face in her pillow.

First Order. KOR, short for the Knights of Ren. Snoke.

They were all names and organizations she’d heard, of course—everyone who knew a single LEO or local government official had, not to mention those living in the neighborhoods near where they were based.

There were rumors of all kinds of depraved, illegal activity, but nothing that anyone could ever prove. A couple years back, there had even been charges filed, but they didn’t stick. The case had been thrown out, she’d heard Baz and Ben cursing about it, mumbling about things like the chain of evidence and incompetent patrol officers.

She had to wonder, now, if it had been because of Ben, if he’d done something.

He’d definitely started to pull away more, working longer hours, making excuses for broken plans.

Dressing better.

Working out more and bulking up.

Rey sucked in a breath, wondering why she hadn’t seen it then.

But no, that was stupid. She was projecting. There was no proof. After warning her off, even Baz had admitted there was no hard evidence against him, just enough suspicion and circumstantial evidence that someone somewhere had contacted internal affairs. Supposedly he’d resigned to take a private security job. Yeah, it was for Mr. Snoke himself, but there was no proof the man had any ties to First Order or KOR, or that those two ‘clubs’ were even linked to each other.

It was all gossip.

She wasn’t going to believe gossip.

That was why, when she found the package on the back porch that night, she didn’t tell Bazine. She just picked it up and hugged it to her, peering out into the darkness as if he’d suddenly just appear there in the yard.

She shook her head at herself. She was being ridiculous. Whatever was happening, Ben Solo wasn’t watching her, wasn’t waiting in the shadows to profess his love and explain how it was all just a big misunderstanding.

But he had, at least, left her a birthday present.

She didn’t open it, just traced the letters on the tiny card, then stroked the green satin ribbon that had been wrapped around and formed into a large bow.

LB.

Only Ben had ever called her Lil Bit, and when she got old enough to find it embarrassing (although she had pretended it was annoyance), he’d shortened it to LB, and sometimes called her Ellie or Ellie-Bee (which was just as ridiculous, but she’d never really minded as long as Ben was the one saying it—she probably would have even let him get away with Doe-Rey-Mi and not had Baz beat him up for it).

Rey closed the door to her bedroom and crept to the closet, digging around for the duffel bag on the top shelf. She pulled it down and put it on the foot of the bed, unzipping it quickly and removing the tote bags, purses (mostly gifts from friends), and her backpack before feeling along the bottom. There were wheels and a handle, so the bottom of the bag had one of those stiff panels to separate the bag’s contents from the hardware for all of that. She grabbed the neatly wrapped package and tucked it in—yes, a perfect fit!

She couldn’t open it, not yet. She wasn’t ready.

But she couldn’t get rid of it either and if Bazine found out…well, it was better to hide it. She winced as guilt coursed through her. They didn’t lie. They didn’t keep secrets. She thought again of her earlier conviction that Baz was lying. Maybe they did keep things from each other, after all.

Rey stroked her fingers over the card once more then closed the bag.

She didn’t open it the next day either. Or the next week when she finally had her postponed beach day. Baz even bought her donuts, the kind rolled in powdered sugar. The kind Ben would have brought to her while Baz pretended not to know.

That day, Rey pulled the present from its hiding place, licking the sugar off the last donut while she stared at the shiny paper and the green ribbon in her favorite shade. It was probably a keychain, or maybe a pen or some kind of jewelry, based on the box. She licked her fingers clean and dried them on her comforter before tracing the LB again, then running the ribbon lightly through her fingers, taking care not to untie the careful, even bow. The last bite of donut weighed heavy in her stomach as she put the box back into its hiding place.

Maybe next week.

But the next week she forgot, and the week after that, until another month passed, and then it was time for the flurry of activity that came with preparing to move into her dorm for the first semester of college. Rose had gotten in to Coruscant University too, and since they both had scholarships, they had applied and been assigned to the same dorm room, even though Rey knew Rose could have had a private room.

She found the gift again when she was unpacking, because a sock had slipped under the edge of the flap in the bottom of the bag. She froze when she saw it, hoping Rose didn’t hear the gasp.

No such luck.

Her roommate—one of her best friends—practically jumped across the room, leaning around Rey. “What is it? Contraband snacks? Money you forgot about? A secret condom stash?”

The teasing tone and smile disappeared when she saw Rey’s face.

“Rey?”

Rey shook her head. “Sorry, nothing, I just forgot I put this in my bag.”

Rose looked at the package, the satin ribbon and expensive, holographic paper, and the handwriting on the tag, suspicion and sympathy creeping into her eyes. “Who’s LB?”

Rey cleared her throat, blinked. “Me,” she said, “I am.”

“Is this from…?”

“Yeah,” Rey said quietly.

“Your sister doesn’t know.” It wasn’t a question. She winced as Rose’s fingers dug into her shoulder, her friend forcing her to turn and meet the fiercely protective, worried gaze as she demanded to know, “Rey…Rey have you seen him? Are you still in contact?”

“No, no, it’s not like that. He…it was on the porch, the night of my birthday. For all I know he left it the day before. I just…I never opened it, I couldn’t, but I couldn’t tell Baz about it either and then I kind of forgot.”

“Rey.”

“Please, Rosie, not now, not today.” She dropped the package on the foot of the bed. “Come on,” Rey said, grabbing Rose’s hands and tugging her to the door. “Let’s go see if our meal plans are activated yet.”

Rose grumbled about it but let Rey drag her away, and they ate too much and maybe brought a few things back to the room for later, and the package was still there on the foot of Rey’s bed when they got back.

She waited three more days, until Rose was at her first night class, before removing the ribbon and folding it neatly, then carefully peeling back the paper. It was thick enough that the tape just came off without tearing the paper or peeling up the pattern.

The box was black, made of a textured, sturdy cardboard and her hand trembled as she pulled the lid off.

She was still crying when Rose came back, the filigreed locket open and clutched in her hand. She was still crying when Rose came back, the filigreed locket open and clutched in her hand. On the front, a flat disc of contrastingly dark metal had been engraved with a honeybee, and inside were pictures of Bazine and Rey at her graduation, and the first picture of the sisters and Mama Maz

Ben had taken them both.

Chapter Text

Snoke’s fingers were gnarled, spidery, too long for his hands, but his grip was strong as his fingertips dug into the sides of her face when he cupped her chin. Rey could feel her teeth cutting into the inside of her mouth, and as he squeezed just that bit tighter, she tasted blood.

“Really, Kylo Ren? This is what you bring me?”

“She brought herself.” Ben’s voice, but not. It sounded different, gravelly and wrong.

Snoke released her and she stumbled, sitting down hard on the concrete at his feet. She heard the fluttering, rasping sounds of small movements behind her, and Snoke’s eyes flicked past Rey then back down at her and he smiled. She shivered at the chilling expression.

“Well, I suppose after a good grooming and some training, she might make a passable pet, hm?”

His beady eyes focused on a high point behind her (Ben, he had to be looking at Ben).

“Vicrul, see to it she is prepared.”

She yelped as one of the other men who’d been following Ben stepped forward and hauled her up by the arm, dragging her from the room.

She almost imagined she heard a protest from somewhere behind her, and a scuffling noise like someone had taken a step and been stopped. She stumbled and tried to look back, but the man—this Vicrul guy—just kept walking, hauling her along like a piece of awkward luggage.

*~*~*

She didn’t see him, but he was there. Sometimes, anyway. It was like Rey could sense him, feel his eyes on her as she crossed the quad, rushing to class, or returned to her dorm after her study group met in the library until closing.

He didn’t try to contact her, didn’t let her see him.

But she knew he’d been there.

She didn’t say anything to Rose, never told Baz. After all, she didn’t see him, he didn’t contact her. It could just be an overactive (hopeful) imagination.

Could.

She knew better though.

Whatever else he had going on, whatever questionable things he had gotten himself into, Ben Solo was watching her.

It made her feel safe. Loved. Gave her hope.

Sometimes she’d think she almost saw him, dark hair towering above the crowd, or she’d turn the corner and suddenly smell his cologne—the one he wore on special occasions that was probably too expensive for a cop’s salary—and something inside her would cry out at having just missed him.

She looked for him everywhere, in every face in the crowd, sought his silhouette in every shadow.

She was, maybe, borderline obsessive about it.

It was inevitable, really, that Rose noticed.

And staged an intervention.

Well, sort of…there was a confrontation, anyway, and Rose called it an intervention, but really it was Rose and Finn cornering Rey (with Kaydel on video) outside the library one day between Rey’s afternoon and evening classes. They knew Rey had a break, and on the long weekends that Finn came to visit they usually got lunch or hung out on the lawn near the library at that time.

It shouldn’t have been shocking, really (okay, fine, it wasn’t) but it still hurt.

In fact, it hurt enough that she maybe stormed off and shut off her mobile and decided to go for a drive to calm down. It wasn’t like she needed to be in her last class of the day anyway. The professor was one of the rare few who didn’t enforce the attendance policy so long as all assignments were completed and turned in on time and everyone showed up for scheduled quizzes and exams. Rey just liked something about the way Dr. Skywalker approached the subject. It was comforting in a weird, almost familiar sort of way.

And so, the drive. Probably a long one. There was a national park not terribly far away, just before the state line at the edge of the next county, and one of the overlooks had become a favorite place when she wanted to be alone.

She turned onto the Bail Organa Memorial Highway and headed west, thinking she’d maybe have a junk food picnic, calm down a bit, and then head back and try to make up with Rose and Finn (and Kaydel, too, of course—assuming she would answer any calls or texts).

Unfortunately, the driving only served to make her think of Ben. He’d been the one to teach her how, claiming he couldn’t inflict another person who drove like Bazine on the world.

She stopped at the county line (which was less than twenty minutes from campus) to fill the tank and grab some snacks and a drink and decide whether she was ready to head back or still going to follow through with her plan to head into the park.

Rey glanced up at the sky. The clouds had been threatening to unleash for days, but so far nothing had happened and the sky looked pretty much the same as it had all week.

She wasn’t ready to go back, not yet, and at mid-afternoon on a Friday what little traffic there was would be headed the other way. She frowned up at the clouds one more time, zipped her jacket, and got back into her car.

She made it to the overlook without incident and stepped out, shivering in the cooler air of the increased elevation. It was getting dark more quickly than she had realized, and the wind was picking up.

As the first snowflakes fell, she realized what a mistake it had been coming up by herself without even telling anyone where she was going.

Was it even cold enough for snow? She hadn’t thought so, but it seemed she’d thought wrong. She cursed and fumbled at the door handle, nearly falling back into the driver’s seat when the door opened with a creak.

When the engine failed to turn over, she got a little nervous. Not panicky, really. But then she remembered the mobile signal was spotty at the best of times, and with the current conditions…

Okay, she was panicky.

She could fix whatever it was, she was sure, but she’d have to be able to see, and possibly need more tools than she had.

She yelped at the knock on her window.

Rey wrapped both hands around the mug in front of her, warming them a moment before picking it up and taking a sip of the hot cocoa before returning it to the tabletop and looking up at the man across from her.

“What?” she questioned, as his lips quirked and he glanced away, one hand toying absently with his coffee cup.

“You, ah, you have whipped cream on your nose,” he muttered, facing he window as he laughed. It was a nice laugh, and his smile was infectious.

He was…cute.

Rey wiped at her nose with the napkin he passed her and shrugged. “It happens.”

She hadn’t recognized him at first, and her initial response had been a mix of terror and hope, when she had looked out the car window and seen a tall man in jeans and a black leather jacket. Her eyes locked on the leather, following it up to a dark motorcycle helmet. The spark of hope had died by the time she reached his shoulders, before he even removed the helmet.

He’d leaned down and looked at her through the window, expression and tone concerned. “Are you okay?”

She’d seen him before, she knew that much, but couldn’t figure out where. Rey nodded, hesitantly, because other than terrified and a little cold she was physically fine—for the moment at least—and she didn’t actually know this man.

“You should get out of here. Storm’s only going to get worse.”

It finally clicked where she’d seen him—on campus, in the science building, usually coming in or out of Dr. Skywalker’s office.

She opened the door and he stepped back, letting her climb out of the car. “Car won’t start,” she admitted. “I think I know what it is but I need light and more tools to fix it.”

“Rey, right? Second row, just left of center, in Dr. Skywalker’s two o’clock honors chem 145 lecture.”

She nodded, hesitant and a little wary once again. This guy definitely wasn’t in her class.

“I’m his TA,” he added and she gasped.

“You’re Paul!”

He nodded and they both shivered as the wind gusted again, swirling small snowflakes into them as if they’d been angrily hurled.

“Yeah, I’m teaching one of his labs at the same time, so he has someone else help with your class. Listen, I know you don’t know me, but it’s getting bad and staying here would be really dangerous. Will you let me take you back to campus? It will probably all melt off the roads by lunch tomorrow, and someone can bring you back to your car then.” He gestured over his shoulder at the motorcycle and she hesitated again, more because of the bike than the fact that she didn’t really know this man.

“I have an extra helmet, and we’ll have to go pretty slow in these conditions, but it’s faster than walking.”

She nodded and accepted the helmet, grabbing her bag from the car and hanging a rag out the door before locking it (not that anyone would want the vehicle or anything in it).

Paul stopped at the first diner still open and insisted Rey call or text “whoever she needed to that would be worried” while they warmed up. He offered to take her back to campus or wait for someone to come get her if she was more comfortable with that.

She took him up on the offer of a ride, unsure if that was because she liked him as a person and potential friend, just wanted to be on the back of the bike a little longer since she’d never gotten her birthday ride, or just wasn’t ready to face Rose and Finn quite yet.

She begged off talking to Rose and Finn before bed, insisting she wasn’t angry anymore and understood, but needed to sleep, and the next morning Rey was up and out of their room before Rose or Finn woke up, meeting Paul to go back and collect her car.

He was nice, helpful, and he knew enough about engines that they had her car running again in half the time it would have taken. She bought him lunch at the same diner as a thanks for helping her out and it was…surprisingly pleasant. He smiled at her again, and it put nice creases in his face, kind of like—no, she shouldn’t think about him.

Paul hesitantly asked for her number and after some hesitation of her own she’d agreed.

Rose and Finn had headed out for dinner and were going a party at one of the frat houses, invited by a guy Finn had met and really liked, so Rey was alone in her room when Paul texted. She received a string of messages that said he’d enjoyed meeting her, that he’d looked into it and there was no issue since he wasn’t the TA for her class, and finally asked if she’d let him take her out sometime without the excuse of car repair.

Her heart sped up a little bit. It wasn’t the first time someone had asked her out, but it might be the first time she was tempted to say yes.

Because she kind of liked Paul.

And if Ben really was watching her, maybe he’d finally DO something.

A little guilty over her conflicted thoughts and feeing, she didn’t answer, just grabbed her things and headed to the library. She took the stairs down and claimed one of the basement study rooms for herself.

She hadn’t realized anyone was in the room until she heard movement behind her and felt someone gently push her against the far wall.

She started to fight (of course she did) but froze when she heard him speak and smelled his cologne.

“Rey.”

Ben.

Rey opened her mouth, but no sound came out, all the words she wanted—needed—to say trapped in her throat as she tried to turn, wanting to see his face and throw her arms around him.

She felt his hand on her back, the other on her shoulder, gently but firmly holding her in place. “No, don’t turn around. You’re not supposed to see me, remember?” She drew in a breath to speak, lips parting, and the hand on her shoulder moved, fingers pressing over her mouth. “Don’t talk to me, either. Just nod.” She did so, a quick, jerky dip of her chin. “Always such a good girl,” he said softly, and she wondered if he meant her to hear it.

He moved again, stepping forward and pulling her back against his chest, arms folding around her from behind. He must have leaned down, because she could feel his forehead pressed against the crown of her head, nose buried in her hair. Her arms folded over his own, holding him back the only way she could from this angle.

His voice was hoarse, husky, and she wondered if he’d been sick recently. Maybe that was all it was…but some small, stubborn, desperate part of her insisted it was just further proof he felt something for her, that being so close to her, seeing her now, was too much for him somehow.

“You have to stop, Ellie Bee. Stop looking, stop waiting. The man you knew is gone. He isn’t ever coming back, and I need you to live your life.” His arms tightened. “Promise me, Lil Bit, promise you will.”

She felt it, the burning in her nose, behind her eyes, the lump in her throat, and she tried, she really did, but it was like her whole body was in on it, some giant conspiracy, as her breath caught and her limbs trembled and she sniffed once, twice, bit her lip to hold back…but the sob escaped. Then another, and her knees gave out, but he didn’t let her fall, just held her through it, one of his hands coming up to rest on her head, the other arm still wrapped around her. Her own hands moved up to cover her face and he leaned in, lips brushing against her ear, as he whispered soothing nonsense while she cried, grieving for the man who was right there.

It wasn’t fair, and she said as much, the words choked out around another of the never-ending sobs.

“I know,” he whispered, broken and rough. “It’s not, it never has been, but you’re on the right path and I need you to stay on it. Promise me, Ellie Bee, promise me you’ll finish school and live your life. You’ll fall in love and make a few dumb choices that give you good stories, and then go out and change the fucking world. I need you to do that for me, Rey. Please.”

She knew what he was waiting for, heard the pain in his words, felt the desperate tension in the way his arms had both wrapped around her once more. Rey knew what she had to do.

She took a shuddering breath and nodded.

“That’s my Lil Bit,” he said, the slightest bit of tension leaving him as he took a deep breath. “Close your eyes.”

She did it instantly, trusting him even as he turned her around and pressed her back against the wall. “Keep them closed,” he whispered, hands cupping either side of her face. “You never saw me,” he breathed, almost against her lips as he pressed his forehead to hers. “Never saw me, I wasn’t here, and this didn’t happen,” he finished in a rush, and then she felt it, the press of his lips against hers, quick and chaste and earth-shattering.

“Keep them closed,” he whispered again when he pulled away. “Eyes closed, count to 12,” he said, and she knew he was leaving her…again, and for good.

But she did what he asked, counting slowly to twelve, their magic number from when he’d humored her ten-year-old self and played hide and seek in the back yard.

“One…two…three…”

One final brush of what she thought was his thumb over the apple of her cheek, the side of her face, along her jaw to her chin.

“Four…five…”

Something soft pressed into her hand.

“Six…seven…eight…nine…”

Hurried footsteps across the small room and the creak of the door opening.

“Ten…”

The faintest click as it closed again.

“Eleven…”

Heavy steps heading for the back exit, where the lower-level restrooms and the stairs were.

“Twelve.”

The clang of the heavy door echoed through the hushed stacks.

“Ready or not, here I come,” she finished in a whisper, words fading into silence as she looked at what he’d placed in her hand.

It was white, fine silk, with a hint of red. She spread out the crumpled fabric, revealing a handkerchief, monogrammed with the initials K.R. in a deep red.

It smelled like his cologne.

She took a breath, waiting for the tears that just wouldn’t come, instead feeling a headache building behind her eyes, and an echoing ache in her chest and gut.

At least she got a goodbye.

There definitely wouldn’t be any more homework or revising for the night, so she packed up her things, stopped off to wash her face, and then stood staring up at the back stairs for a moment, unable to lift her foot. She clutched the handkerchief in a tight fist and turned, headed resolutely for the main stairs and the lifts.

Once back in her still-empty dorm, Rey sat on her bed, running the bit of silk through her fingers and staring at her closet for nearly an hour before crossing the room and pulling the box from the top shelf. It was a sturdy, glossy cardboard, originally intended for storing photographs. She opened the lid and removed the smaller box from her birthday necklace, a stack of movie tickets (some nearing ten years old), and a series of birthday and holiday cards, still in their once crisp, heavy envelopes. There, on the bottom, a plastic zippered baggie with her greatest secret treasure—another silk handkerchief, identical to the one in her hand in all but one respect: the initials BS in a bold blue.

He gave it to her the day of Mama Maz’s funeral, and one to Baz too, and told them they could keep them. Probably, he just didn’t want to have to touch the tears and snot and running make up, but Rey hadn’t cared. She’d laundered it carefully, maybe stolen a spritz of his cologne so it would smell kind of like him again and folded it neatly before sealing it in the bag.

The new one joined it, the red (wrong) initials glaring and harsh beside the deep blue.

She returned everything else to its place, pausing with the necklace box in her hand. She removed the lid, ran her fingers over the neatly folded ribbon inside, then reached up to the chain around her neck, determined to put this last keepsake away, and maybe hope that the knowledge she’d taken it off (because he had to still be watching her; he had to) and packed it away would hurt him, at least a little, even though it was nothing compared to her own pain.

Her fingers fumbled at the catch, trembling too hard to undo the clasp, and she gave up in frustration, jerking her arms down to pound at the mattress.

She was weak, too weak to take off a stupid necklace. The chain caught on her sleeve and she cried out as if she’d snapped as well. Maybe that wasn’t so far off. He wanted her to live? Move on as if he never existed? Fine.

She waited two days before finally answering Paul’s text.

Yes.

Chapter Text

“An improvement I suppose,” Snoke said, drawing her attention and extending one hand as if expecting her to take it from across the room. “Well, come on, girl, I don’t have all day.” Vicrul—it was definitely him based on the grip—grabbed her just above the elbow and dragged her through the doorway and across the room, into the center of the circle of men surrounding Snoke. The other man—the one who had steadied her with a polite, supportive hand on her back when she stumbled in the heels—followed silently. The other four had removed their custom motorcycle helmets and stood at a soldier’s rest, evenly spaced in a ring around their boss, with gaps to be filled by Vicrul and the other one.

Ben was directly across from Snoke, the two of them the only ones in suits.

She glanced at the other men each in turn, surprised somehow that they were all fairly young and not unattractive. They seemed familiar, somehow, but she didn’t have time to think about it as Vicrul pulled her along and she wobbled on the spiked heels a size too large for her.

There was no steadying hand on her back and she skidded and stumbled to a stop in front of Snoke. He reached out, grabbing her chin again and tilting her head left, then right. “She’ll have to do,” he muttered, before turning his attention to the man across from him. “Step forward, Kylo,” he ordered, and she sensed the movement behind her as Ben shifted closer.

Her attention returned to Snoke when he spun her around and shoved down on her shoulders. “On your knees girl, it’s time for a lesson.” She caught the flicker of distaste on Ben’s face, and she suspected Snoke did as well. “What are you waiting for,” Snoke hissed as he shoved the back of her head forward hard enough that she lost her balance, wincing as her nose smashed into Ben’s thigh. “Start with his belt.”

Rey couldn’t hear over the blood rushing in her ears. She hadn’t really ever…and not in front of…and Ben. She couldn’t. His hands flexed, balled into fists so tight that his knuckles were already white, but he couldn’t hide the…interest…his body had at the idea.  She dared a look up into his eyes, saw the pain and horror there, and knew the ‘lesson’ wasn’t for her. She tried to offer a weak but reassuring smile, knowing she probably looked more like she was going to be sick, and reached up to grasp his belt buckle with trembling hands.

I know you won’t hurt me.

“No.”

The denial was firm and gruff…and from somewhere to her left.

“What was that Ap’lek?” Snoke sneered at the man who’d steadied her as she made the trek back to the room after being “prepared.”

The man her instincts kept screaming she knew, who was in the process of lifting off his custom helmet.

The man whose face she definitely recognized.

She spoke before she could stop herself, too shocked to even think. “Paul?”

*~*~*

They dated for almost a year, before Paul ended things, telling her he just couldn’t keep sharing her with the ghost of a memory. It hurt more than she would have expected, and it was that fact which told her she could have loved him, if there had been any space left in her heart.

She suspected he’d meant it when he’d muttered that he loved her in an unguarded moment, thinking she was asleep and wouldn’t hear him.

It didn’t matter though. In the end he still left her, just like everyone always did.

Just like Ben.

Rey threw herself into her studies, volunteer work, part time jobs, and anything else she could to avoid dating or (more to the point) facing the fact that in that respect she was just meant to be alone.

After graduation she moved back home, because Bazine was alone too, and at least they would always have each other.

Rose was a first-year teacher, almost an hour away. They got together when they could, but it wasn’t as often as they would have liked.

Kaydel and her boyfriend had eloped on Kay’s twenty-second birthday and moved to the other side of the country. She was blissfully happy, Dopheld clearly adored her and Rey, Rose, and Finn had all wholeheartedly accepted him into their friend group based on that alone. Rey probably heard from the pair of them more than she heard from Rose and Finn combined.

Finn was a social worker and still in town, only a few blocks away really, living with his boyfriend Poe. Rey expected an engagement announcement within six months. Their schedules didn’t line up well, but they did make an effort to see one another when possible, and both Finn and Poe checked in with her often via text and social media.

It wasn’t a bad life. Peaceful. And she had what she needed for the most part.

Rey hadn’t quite figured out what to do with herself though. She’d changed majors halfway through and found that in the end she couldn’t do a lot with her degree.

She enjoyed working with her hands and had stumbled into a job at a local auto shop. The owner was amazing, her coworkers had instantly adopted her, and she stayed busy. The pay was better than she expected, too, and suddenly she was twenty-four and had been there three years and realized she didn’t want to leave.

But it still felt like she was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

At 10:17 AM on a bright and sunny Tuesday morning, it did.

She got a phone call, a frantic voicemail she thankfully didn’t check until much later, and a visit at work from Bazine’s partner, Detective Din Djarin, and their commanding officer, Captain Gwen Phasma.

Rey didn’t really process what they were telling her, couldn’t do more than catch words and phrases here and there.

Accident reported.

Routine call.

Knife.

And the thing she’d heard so many times but never really thought about, not until it mattered. Vests aren’t designed to stop piercing attacks.

She let them take her to the hospital, unable to remember how they’d even gotten there when another officer helped her out of the car. Din steadied her as they entered the building. Rey moved on autopilot, letting them lead her to a crowded waiting room, nearly bursting with cops of all flavors, some plain clothes and other in uniform, and more who were off duty and had dropped everything to show up and offer their support when an officer down call went out. Some of them were accompanied by significant others and a few had their older teenage or adult children with them.

It was too much, too many people, and there was no air left in the room. Phasma practically dragged her back the few feet into the hallway and Din followed with the closest (extremely uncomfortable) chair.

The walls swam dangerously as Phasma ordered her to ‘get it together and breathe’ and it sounded enough like Baz when she’d finally had enough of teenage Rey’s nonsense that it worked.

It took a few minutes, but she calmed enough to accept a soggy paper cup of water someone handed off to Din without sloshing all of the contents onto her lap. She managed a few sips—enough to effectively empty the small cup, and leaned her head back against the wall, eyes closed for a moment before she looked up at the pair of them.

“What happened to my sister?”

They shared a glance, something passing unsaid between them, before the captain nodded her assent, looking toward the nurses’ station and back to the crowded waiting room before addressing Bazine’s partner. “Keep it short, and we should go somewhere more private.”

The hospital staff let them use a small consultation room that wasn’t needed at the moment. They were brusquely informed by the nurse who let them in that should that change, they would be expected to clear out immediately. They nodded their agreement and settled in at the small table.

The pair glanced at one another again, and it made Rey more certain than ever that whatever had happened was more than a chance encounter during a routine call.

It was confirmed when Din started speaking.

“It was—it should have been—routine. There was a call about a suspicious vehicle. Normally the nearest uniformed patrol unit would have been dispatched, but Baz and I were closer, maybe a block away. She was teasing me about it, said it would be fun to ‘get back to our roots’ and then she called me an old man.” A fond smile flitted across his face. “But when we arrived…”

He trailed off and shook his head, eyes focused somewhere other than the current room. He stared at the tabletop as he continued.

“We were approaching the car, everything completely normal, when two other vehicles came out of nowhere, penned me in, and one of the passengers was on her before either of us could even do anything. He had a knife, possibly more than one, and he knew what he was doing with it.”

He paused, a mix of anger and shame weighing him down, causing a tightening in his shoulders and jaw.

“It was maybe two or three minutes, at most, from the time they showed up to the moment I got to her side after they sped off.” He looked up at Rey, his eyes suddenly a decade older than the man she’d known for years now. “I’m sorry, Rey. I should have been faster, better, never should have let her goad me into taking the call.”

Rey reached out, covered his hand with her own. She didn’t speak, couldn’t really, and there weren’t any words that would make him feel better about it all.

“Rey,” Phasma began, and she was just suddenly on, shifted back into cop mode, all impassive face and icy gaze, with a hard edge to her voice. “Rey, it’s clear this was a set up. Someone was specifically targeting your sister.”

Rey managed to hold her gaze. Yes, some part of her had realized that.

“Have you had any contact with Solo?”

Rey was unable to contain her gasp, mouth dropping open and eyes wide with shock. “You don’t seriously believe he had anything to do with this. No matter what happened, he would never hurt Baz. Or me. Not like this.”

“Rey, I don’t…please, just answer the question.”

Somehow it was seeing the Captain break, the almost desperate way she said please that did it. It calmed Rey enough to think logically, to address the question as she realized this had transitioned into an unofficial interrogation.

“I, no, I haven’t seen or heard from Ben Solo since I was eighteen.” When he told me goodbye and made me keep my eyes closed and kissed me…

“But you did hear from him after Baz warned you off, didn’t you?”

She licked her lips, nodded slowly. “I, yes, he was…watching me, I guess, for a few months. He left me a birthday present, when I was eighteen, and…”

Phasma stared expectantly, clearly impatient but apparently forcing herself to wait.

“He came to see me, to tell me goodbye that fall. He…I never saw him, you see, he made me keep my back turned, told me he was never coming back, and then he left. I haven’t heard from him since.”

“Rey, this is important—did he give you anything?”

She blinked. “No, well, a handkerchief with his stupid new initials on it, like it was supposed to prove he wasn’t Ben Solo anymore.” Rey crossed her arms and glared at the table, glancing back up when Phasma cursed.

“Damn, I was hoping…” she shook her head and rubbed at her brow. “No matter. Look, Rey, I don’t think Solo did this, but whoever it was—” The captain broke off mid-sentence and shared another meaning-laden look with Din before continuing.

“Whoever did this, I am sure it was a message for Ben Solo. They didn’t kill your sister but they could have—easily—and…Rey, I believe you’re in danger.”

Did they really think she hadn’t realized that?

She refused police protection. Din and Phasma had flat out admitted they believed Ben was still watching her (or having someone else do it) and she didn’t say so but that made her feel safer than her own personal SWAT team could.

 It wasn’t like she’d be going home any time soon anyway, and there would be officers stationed outside Bazine’s room when she was moved out of recovery and assigned to one.

Rey would be perfectly safe. She didn’t need a babysitter—or at least not another one she thought, staring at Din and Phasma, and maybe looking around for Ben or someone working for him.

Maybe.

Okay, fine, she was, she always did, she just hadn’t admitted it to herself for a very long time.

By the time Bazine was in a room, Rose, Poe, and Finn had all shown up. Kaydel and Dopheld were boarding a red-eye flight, despite vigorous protests from Rey. It wasn’t just the whole ‘Rey and Baz are targets and everyone around them is in danger’ thing, either. Rey was already overwhelmed, feeling crowded, and she worried she was just one more well-meaning hug away from spiraling headlong into another panic attack.

Fortunately, Finn was the voice of reason (as was often but not always the case) and helped her convince Rose and Poe to go for the night. They all had to work the next day, and Rose had a very long drive back.

Seeing them out and the end of visiting hours left Rey alone with Bazine and Captain Phasma.

Baz likely wouldn’t wake until morning, but she was stable and had been talking in her sleep, mumbling about kittens and honeybees and lightning in a bottle when the hospital staff brought her into the room. The doctor had allowed Rey to stay despite visiting hours being over, and she suspected it was due to Gwen Phasma’s influence.

Rey studied the blonde woman across from her. She looked completely exhausted, but refused to even relax, standing up, stretching, and then pacing the room every time she yawned. She wasn’t the officer on babysitting duty, er, protective detail, yet she refused to leave.

It was a specific behavior Rey recognized, and as the thought occurred to her, several things clicked into place.

“Gwen? Sit down, please,” she said gently, surprising the other woman with the use of her given name rather than title or surname. Rey could tell she wanted to refuse, but the absolute weariness won out and she slumped back into the chair. Rey hesitated a moment, before adding, “You can…you should hold her hand. You’ll feel better and maybe she’ll know you’re here.”

Phasma jerked a little and stared at Rey. “Am I that obvious?”

“Not really, just…you reminded me of someone. Does she know?”

Gwen shook her head slowly as she gently covered Bazine’s hand with her own. “I don’t think so, or at least, I’ve never said anything. She’s…it’s complicated.”

Rey nodded. “You work together, you’re her CO, sometimes people are stupid and bigoted.”

The blonde managed a weak smile and a nod.

“You should tell her, once she’s awake, but…I think she already knows.”

Rey pretended not to see the blush on the normally stoic captain’s cheeks as she nodded and gave a rueful smile. “I think I have to. I’ve wasted enough time already.”

Rey cocked her head to the side. “How long have you been in love with my sister?”

“Probably since the day I met her, but I didn’t realize it right away.”

Rey beamed at her, relieved Baz wouldn’t have to endure the same longing and loneliness she felt. “I think I’ll go take the nurses up on their offer of a soda and snacks. Would you like anything?” Phasma shook her head and Rey nodded as she unfolded herself from the chair she’d been curled into, wincing a moment at the stiffness in her limbs and pausing to stretch before leaving the room. She stopped at the doorway and glanced back over her shoulder when Gwen called out to her.

“Rey? Thank you.”

She smiled and nodded. “You’re welcome.”

“It was Solo, wasn’t it?”

She spun around. “What?”

“You said I reminded you of someone. Was it Solo?”

She nodded, glancing away from the pity in Gwen’s gaze and turning around to continue her quest for snacks, not that she really wanted them anymore.

She returned with a cold drink and some assorted packets of crisps and candy to find Phasma asleep with her head on the edge of Bazine’s bed. It probably wasn’t overly comfortable, but seeing their fingers laced together made Rey smile.

She must have fallen asleep herself, because she opened her eyes to find two hours had passed and her sister’s CO and probable future girlfriend was gone.

Someone else was there, though, and Rey gasped and nearly fell off the front of her chair. “Ben!”

He jerked, head flying up from where he’d been looking down at Bazine and shot a fearful glance to the door. Rey slapped a hand over her mouth and hoped he could read the apology in her eyes.

He rounded the bed, staring down at her as she stood, trembling and disbelieving. She hadn’t seen or heard from him in six years.

“I didn’t mean for you to see me,” he started, wincing and rubbing at his brow. “Fuck, I shouldn’t even have come here, but I needed…”

“You needed to see for yourself.”

Ben nodded, and Rey took a moment to soak in his presence. Every cell in her body wanted to reach out and touch him.

Well, maybe not all of her—a not insignificant portion of Rey wanted to punch him in the crotch, but she didn’t let that part take control. Not yet anyway.

“I can’t stay, Phasma will be back soon. I only got in because she went for coffee and the protective detail has a shift change.”

He was gone before she could protest, and that angry part of her reared up and grabbed control of her. He was out of sight by the time Rey got out of the room and rounded the corner, but she heard the faint click of the stairwell door and could smell his damn cologne lingering behind him that direction.

“Not this time,” she muttered to herself, punching the button for the elevators that were technically reserved for patient transport and custodial services and practically threw herself inside when the doors slid open. She knew she wouldn’t catch him on the stairs, but if luck was on her side, she’d catch up on the ground level…assuming that was where he came out. She should have taken the stairs.

Rey reached out to press the button to open the doors, but the lift shuddered to life and began to move.

She reached the ground level and based on the smell that greeted her she would have caught him if she hadn’t been a little disoriented. Rey patted at her pockets, feeling desperately for the keys her boss had dropped off after personally delivering her car to the hospital and stepping in just long enough to check in with her.

Several of the officers seemed to know (and like) Lando, but he shifted uncomfortably and couldn’t seem to get out quickly enough, so she hadn’t protested when he told her to take all the time she needed and he’d follow up with her about vacation and sick pay (which Rey hadn’t even realized she had).

She sighed in relief and darted for the parking structure, crossing her fingers and hoping against hope she’d spot Ben leaving.

She heard his voice on the very next level of the parking deck, along with the low rumble of a few others, then the closing of a car door and what she was pretty sure were motorcycle engines.

Rey hunched down in her seat, pretending not to hear all her instincts screaming at her to run back inside, and waited as a blacked out, luxury SUV and what looked to be three or four motorcycles roared past her.

Her hands trembled as she started her own engine and followed at a distance, trying to remember all the stories Ben and Baz and Din had regaled her with about tailing people over the years.

By some miracle none of the men saw her and she parked down the block from a warehouse across town. It couldn’t possibly be this easy, right? Or, for that matter, this much of a cliché…an old, run-down warehouse? Really?

But they were there, all filing in with Ben in front and the other men (she was right, it had been four on bikes with custom helmets) and a fifth she assumed was Ben’s driver following behind. She could hear the low rumble of his voice, and he sounded pissed.

The only word she caught was ‘followed’ and her blood froze in her veins for a moment until one of the other men responded with something about orders and she realized Ben must have been referring to the other men following him.

She waited until the door closed (surprisingly quietly) and crept up to the building. Her anger had faded, but she was committed to her course of action.

She should have paid more attention, thought to look for cameras, and maybe things would have gone differently.

She yelped as the door swung open and Ben grabbed her arm, dragging her inside. He was furious, she could see that, but underneath it she recognized fear. She heard a sound from behind him and he sighed and closed his eyes.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

Chapter Text

Mama Maz thanked the administrator of Bazine’s new school for letting them come in so late so Baz could get oriented before she started classes on Monday. Bazine had insisted it would be fine, but Mama Maz wouldn’t hear it, telling Baz that she would be at enough of a disadvantage transferring in after the term had started, and something about parents being an embarrassment to teenagers, which Rey didn’t understand or agree with at all. Baz was arguing about that too, when he walked up.

“Ben Solo!” Mama Maz practically yelled when she saw him (she was really loud for such a small woman), and he flinched then looked their way and smiled and Rey was as sure as any nine-year-old could be that someday she was going to marry him and live happily ever after. Maybe after junior high? That would give him time to finish school and get a job, right? Maybe he could work at the grocery store and bring home extra food nobody bought that day.

She stared up at him while he tossed his head every time his hair fell over his eyes and talked and laughed with her sister and their mother.

Then he looked right at her and Rey gasped and ducked her head, maybe hiding behind Mama Maz for just a second. Mama Maz laughed and patted Rey on the shoulder, giving a firm press to urge Rey back in front of her.

“You’ve met my Princess Baz, and this is my Baby Rey,” Mama said, and Rey grinned. She liked being Mama’s baby.

Ben held out a hand, shaking hers like she was a grown up, and if she hadn’t already loved him, she would have just for that. “Hello, Lil Bit,” he said. He laughed when she frowned and grumbled that Mama had just told him her name. Maybe she didn’t love him after all, she mused and thought about kicking him, almost did, but Mama and Baz both saw it coming and put warning hands on her back and arm, respectively. “I’m sorry,” he said, kneeling down to look her in the eye and offer his hand again. “Let me start over. It’s nice to meet you, Rey. You have one of the best moms in the world.”

“THE best,” she insisted, letting him take her hand again, and she liked that once again he shook it, rather than just giving her a pat or squeezing her fingers. “And the bestest big sister, too.”

“I believe it,” he said, quite serious. “I didn’t mean to insult you. I’m just too tall, and my ears are too big, see?” He tugged his hair back before added conspiratorially, “It’s why I won’t get my hair cut.” He sighed. “I wish I was just a little bit of a thing like you, so I could hide sometimes.”

She decided maybe Lil Bit wasn’t so bad, as long as he didn’t call her that in front of too many people. “You’re only tall,” she said, “and I’m still growing.” Everyone laughed, and Mama and the administrator started talking again. Rey looked carefully at Ben another moment, before adding, “You should probably stop, though.” She held her hands out and gestured up and down. “That way, anyway.” She narrowed her eyes and studied him again. “You should try to only grow this way,” she finished, opening her arms horizontally rather than vertically.

His laugh was loud and booming. “I’ll work on that,” he said, nodding his assent, and his smile went all the way to his eyes.

Yes, she definitely loved him.

*~*~*

Rey had stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours, sure she’d never be able to sleep. The day had been a series of close calls, with Bazine being attacked, her own stupid, impulsive decision to follow Ben, and then the whole thing with Snoke.

It had been a small relief when Vicrul had dragged her through a series of long hallways that seemed to lead downhill, only to deposit her in what was apparently some kind of living room occupied by one of the most beautiful women Rey had ever seen (and she had grown up with Baz and Rose and Kaydel).

“Jannah!” Vicrul practically barked, voice echoing oddly through his helmet as if there was some kind of modulator inside. “New pet, Snoke wants her prepared.” Then he left and Jannah stood and walked a slow, assessing circle around Rey before nodding to herself.

“This should be easy enough,” the woman said, tossing long, braided hair over her shoulder. “You won’t exactly take a ton of work, but we don’t have a lot of time,” she continued. “Follow me, please.”

She shouldn’t; should just refuse and try to run, but something about the way Jannah had looked at her when she spoke, as if trying to tell her something different altogether, roused Rey’s curiosity. Besides, it wasn’t like she had any hope of escaping the place by herself.

Jannah opened a door on the opposite wall, leading Rey into—and through—a small (but still larger than her own) bedroom and into an attached bath. Jannah turned on the shower and faced Rey. “We don’t have a lot of time,” she said. “Now strip and listen to me very carefully.”

Cameras. There were cameras everywhere (yes, even the bathrooms), not a single square foot of space that wasn’t in view of one of them, and nearly as many microphones. The only spaces without sound equipment were the bathrooms, but Jannah was quick to add that there was still a mic just outside the door strong enough to pick up their voices, even over the shower spray.

Jannah explained this quickly while setting out various products and implements as Rey stripped. “Be quick, but thorough,” Jannah advised, busying herself at the vanity counter with her back to Rey, in an effort to offer at least some illusion of privacy.

“He’ll want you broken,” Jannah said as Rey dried herself quickly.

“I know who you are, we all do, and not even Snoke would risk giving you to anyone other than Kylo, but he will make you both suffer for it, first.”

She slipped a fluffy robe over Rey’s shoulders and led her to sit in front of the vanity.

“What do you mean, ‘giving me to Kylo?’ And what the bloody hell does broken mean?”

“I think you know—look down.” There was a push on the back of Rey’s head, and she tilted her chin down as Jannah worked yet another product of some sort through her hair (there had been three so far). “Look, I don’t know how the hell you got into this mess, but if you aren’t very careful you won’t make it out alive, do you understand that?”

Rey lifted her head, met Jannah’s gaze in the mirror, and gave her a slow nod. Jannah returned her attention to Rey’s hair. “I don’t know what he’ll do, but I can assure you that you will not like it, and neither will Kylo, nor…well, probably anyone.” Rey had the sense that ‘anyone’ was actually someone very specific, but she didn’t push. She had enough to process already.

Rey woke with a start, panic gripping her as the bed sank under the weight of another person. She felt the heat and weight of him against her back, and there was a hand pressed firmly over her mouth as another trailed roughly over her body, sliding up to where the sheet rested on her torso and moving under the cover.

Her heart pounded and she thought she might pass out if he didn’t let her breathe. She could feel his breath on her neck and she jerked and squirmed, trying to move away from him as he grasped the hem of the surprisingly modest nightgown she’d been given. “Sh, Rey, hold still, don’t make me hurt you,” Ben’s voice rumbled in her ear. She pushed desperately at the hand over her mouth, both her hands prying at his fingers.

She felt the press of his mouth just in front of her ear and then heard him again.

“Snoke’s watching, and he’s making Ap’lek, too, since he ruined the lesson earlier.”

She froze. Ap’lek?

Paul.

Jannah’s comments about wanting Rey broken and that Kylo and ‘probably anyone’ wouldn’t like what Snoke wanted came back to her.

She thought about it, nodded slowly, and the hand over her mouth loosened. She sucked in a breath, then another, before opening her mouth to speak. Before she got the chance, the hand was back and Ben was leaning over her, eyes darting up at the ceiling and back to her as he turned her from her side onto her back.

It reminded her of when he’d dragged her into the warehouse—it must look like he was being extremely rough, but it felt almost gentle.

Right. Cameras and microphones.

The hand that had been tugging at her nightgown captured her wrists and pressed them to the mattress above her head. He leaned in again and she yelped when he actually bit her, and she shuddered when his tongue dragged over the spot.

She wasn’t even sure how to react.

Her entire life, Ben Solo had been extremely careful with her. The most he’d ever touched her had been when he carried her inside after Mama Maz’s funeral and that night in the Uni library, yet there he was, in bed beside her, naked—definitely naked—and doing things to her that she had only ever dreamed or fantasized about.

It was the last thing she wanted, or she thought it should be, anyway. He did it again, a little lower on her neck, and she whimpered. “Ben.”

He lurched up, hand squeezing around her wrists and the other coming to rest on her neck. “That’s not my name,” he hissed at her.

“It’s who you are,” she insisted.

“No, it really isn’t,” he said, lowering himself over her until she was pinned under his body. “I’m a monster, Rey, always have been.” She jerked when the hand on her throat gave a light squeeze before he removed it, sliding it up to join the one at her wrists. As he adjusted his hold on her, each of his hands wrapping around one of her wrists, he lowered his lips to her ear again.

“He wants you broken,” he whispered, “I don’t. Please don’t make me do this for real.”

His teeth closed over her earlobe, and she cried out. She jerked away, although it was the pain in his voice and not the comparably minor twinge in her ear that made her do it. She jerked at her arms, tried to shift her legs, lurched up and bit his lower lip.

“Better make it look convincing, then,” she hissed back at him, watching the darkness in his eyes, seeing the thought cross his mind that he could, and she shivered. He wiped at the blood on his mouth as she glared up at him.

It wasn’t hard to summon anger at this man. She’d been carrying plenty of it around inside her for years.

In only a moment, he was on her, lips and teeth and tongue everywhere except on hers as switched back to gripping her wrists in one hand and lifted his body up, pinning her legs again with one of his own before she could kick him. He managed to jerk the nightgown off her, the fabric making a popping, ripping sound as he tore it away before tossing it to the floor somewhere beside the bed.

“Turn the fuck over!” he hissed in her face, before his lips formed a silent inquiry.

‘Safeword?’

She glared up at him. So, he knew, then, which confirmed he’d definitely kept watching her over the years. She jerked and lurched up to bite him again, going for his ear this time. “Honeybee,” she hissed against his ear. He jerked as if she really had bitten him before grabbing her and flipping her over.

She’d play along. Maybe it would let her work out some of her anger at him.

“Fuck you! I don’t want this,” she yelled at him, biting back a moan when he jerked her hips up and fisted the hair on the back of her head.

“You’re gonna scream for me,” he growled, jerking her panties down to her knees before slamming his body against hers. She did scream then, more in anger and frustration than anything, because he was still being so incredibly careful with her. Too careful, in Rey’s opinion, not that anyone cared.

She’d thought for a moment that they were on the same page, when he asked for her safeword, that he’d understood she was saying he could be as rough as necessary to convince Snoke.

But he very carefully lodged his erection between her thighs, never even attempting to thrust into her, and she was pretty certain he was mumbling “I’m sorry,” against her skin.

“If you’re so sorry then just let me go,” she snarled.

“No.”

That was it? Really? Just ‘no’ and nothing else? Okay, fine.

“Ben! BenBenBenBenBen!” she shouted. “That’s who you are and always will be!”

The slap to her ass caught her by surprise. Her eyes watered at the sting. He hadn’t held back.

“Ow! Fuck Kylo Ren and fuck Snoke! You’ll always be Ben fucking Solo!”

She screamed her rage when his palm smacked down again and he jerked back from her, raining blows on her ass and thighs and she thought if he just did it one more time it might be enough, and almost as if he knew it, he stopped.

“Bastard!” she shouted, forgetting for the moment that anyone else could hear or see them. So close, she’d been so close. One of his hands wrapped around her throat again, putting pressure on either side.

“Oh no, sweetheart, my parents were married by the time I was actually born,” he said, and her eyes fluttered and rolled back for a moment. “Now, if you can’t behave, you don’t get to come, but I’m not finished yet,” he said, and a shiver trailed down her spine.

Oh, no, that sensation was his finger, tracing down the length of her body so lightly it almost didn’t register as a touch.

She yelped in surprise when he jerked her legs back, dragging her knees roughly over the sheets (that would leave a mark) and making her fall flat. He thrust himself between her thighs again and she whimpered. So close, so close, if he would just…he pulled away again, rising up on his knees and she tried to turn, but he pushed her head into the bedding. “No, you don’t get to look at me, you haven’t earned that yet.”

She couldn’t see, but she could hear him, the sound he made, the slide of flesh over flesh, and she waited, trembling, disbelieving. Surely, he wasn’t really…but then his breath hitched and he grunted and let out a low, guttural moan, and she felt the splatter as streams of cum streaking across her back, her ass, and her thighs.

She shifted and felt his hand land between her shoulder blades. “Don’t you move. You’re going to stay right there until it dries.”

“I’m cold,” she whined. She wasn’t, not yet anyway, but she’d remembered they were being watched and she wanted the scant protection of the sheet between her skin and the cameras.

“Too bad,” he said, rising to stand by the bed. “Maybe you’ll remember this next time.” He left the room and padded through another door. She heard the shower come on, heard him cursing as something fell, and she was torn between going after him for comfort (not that she knew if she wanted to comfort him or herself) or going after him because she was still angry, but she didn’t move.

He took longer than she expected, and if not for the discomfort of a very full bladder she may have gone back to sleep.

She was confused when he pulled the torn but still mostly whole nightgown back over her head and followed her into the bathroom. “B—” she sighed at his glare. “Fine, Kylo,” she said, the name foreign and heavy on her tongue. “I need to pee. I don’t need help.” He looked at her, glanced up at the ceiling, and crossed his arms as he waited.

She looked at him there, his ears peeking through damp hair, arms crossed over a chest that was somehow even broader than she had realized, dressed in only a pair of soft and faded flannel pajama pants. She rolled her eyes, channeling herself at around fourteen years old (what she considered her peak bratty stage). “Fine.”

He turned his back, at least, and it was the most awkward she’d ever felt around him (including only minutes prior when she’d sat up and realized her skin was tight with his dried cum and she wasn’t actually upset about it, but he wouldn’t or possibly even couldn’t look her in the eye).

“I’d like a shower,” she said after washing her hands, both of them flushed and uncomfortable.

“Too bad. Get back in bed.”

She started to argue, but he still wouldn’t look at her, and he sounded world-weary and exhausted.

She supposed could pick a fight with him about it in the morning—er, later in the morning.

She crawled back onto the mattress, and he slipped in beside her, pulling the covers over both of them. “Phasma and Din will come looking for me, and probably the rest of the department,” she muttered.

“They already have,” he said softly. “Had a warrant and everything, searched the whole building and found no sign of you.”

“Above ground,” she whispered.

“Still so clever,” he said, rolling onto his side so his back was to her. “Goodnight, Rey,” he said, pressing his face into his pillow.

She wasn’t sure which of them cried the longest.

Chapter Text

“You’re twitchy,” Rey called out, almost singing the words as Ben paced from the kitchen table, across the hall into the living room, and then back.

Again.

She’d lost count of the number of times he’d done it.

He tugged out the chair across from her and flipped it around, straddling it backwards and watching as she finished the last few lines of her chemistry homework. “Sorry, Lil Bit,” he said, grinning when she huffed and rolled her eyes. “Not great at being patient,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “Not today anyway.”

“You’re nervous.”

“I’m not.”

She didn’t even look up from her papers. “You are. You’re doing that thing. Baz does it too.”

“What thing?”

Rey put down her pencil and looked him in the eye. “The cop thing where you’re just suddenly ‘on’ and looking for threats.” He stared back for a moment, eyes hard and flinty, before he shook his head and gave her a half-grin, just enough to almost show the hint of a dimple.

“So clever,” he muttered. “You’re going to change the world someday, Ellie Bee.”

“Not if I don’t pass chemistry,” she grumbled, looking back down at her paper.

“Let’s see,” Ben said, holding out one of his oven mitts of a hand for her paper. He looked it over, grabbed her textbook and notes (copied directly from the teacher’s projection screen), and scowled. “Who the hell do they have teaching chemistry now?” he mumbled before shaking his head. “Okay, first off, forget whatever the teacher said for now. This is all basically just algebra. You aced that.”

Ben relaxed as he started over from the beginning teaching her how to balance chemical equations. He made it seem so easy. “You should have been a teacher,” Rey said. “You’re good at it.”

“Nah,” he said, crossing his arms and smirking at her. “Guys with guns aren’t nearly as scary as hormonal teenagers.”

The earlier wariness came back over him again at that, and Rey wanted to kick herself in the shin. “Try again,” Ben said, passing her a clean sheet of notebook paper. While she worked, he went back to his caged animal pacing.

Rey woke alone. Well, she was the only one in the bed, at least. She rolled onto her back and blinked up at the ceiling a few times before sitting up and running the fingers of one hand through her hair. She smelled coffee. She sniffed the air again, then once more. Bacon, and maple syrup, too.

“Breakfast is in the other room. Jannah will be by with clothes for you in an hour or two. Eat and shower before she gets here.”

He was already out of the bedroom, halfway across the living room by the time she reached the door. “Ben!” He flinched but kept going. “Ugh, fine, Kylo!”

“I have to go, Rey. Snoke’s waiting.”

“Why? Why do you work for him? Why let him boss you around?” He looked at her for a long moment, eyes burning intensely as his jaw worked, then he turned and left the room, the door thumping closed firmly behind him followed by the rattle of keys and the click of a lock being thrown.

A lock that couldn’t be opened from the inside.

She ate everything on the plate, drained the juice glass and had a second cup of coffee before heading for the shower. She paused long enough in each room to glare and stick out her tongue at the cameras—the ones she’d seen so far, anyway.

She made quick work of using the toilet but took her time with her shower. It wasn’t like they hadn’t seen everything already, and Paul wasn’t the only one of the Knights of Ren she had recognized, though she had managed to cover her surprise at the others.

All of them, at some point she had seen all of them.

She knew now who Ben—er, Kylo, she supposed—had set to watching her over the past six years. The ones called Vicrul and Ushar came by the garage every so often. They didn’t interact with Rey, only her coworkers, but she’d seen them enough to know she’d seen them before. Vicrul always seemed nice enough but Ushar…he made her skin crawl.

For a while, Cardo had frequented the diner where she and Baz sometimes got breakfast or lunch (or breakfast for lunch) on weekends. Then Baz noticed him watching them one Saturday, and he didn’t show up there anymore. Of course, that might have been because he’d tried to hit on Baz while looking down Rey’s shirt and being summarily shot down.

Kuruk she had run into at the library a few times, and she always thought he looked like he should be at some country club luncheon with his collar popped. He unsettled her as well, but she’d always chalked that up to the frat boy vibe he gave off, even though he was definitely too old to be a college student (well, the traditional 18- to-21-year-old partying type, anyway).

The only one she hadn’t been able to place right away was Trudgen. She’d glanced at him a few times, still there on her knees while Paul—Ap’lek—argued with Snoke and got beaten by Ushar while Kuruk and Cardo held his arms behind his back for his trouble. When Paul had fallen to the ground, Ushar kicked him one more time and just walked away. Then Trudgen moved to help him up and that was when Rey recognized him.

She hadn’t been able to place his face because she’d never actually seen it. His body, though, she recognized that—well, more specifically, she recognized his ink, particularly the intricate work on his forearms. His face was always covered at the club, but he rarely wore a shirt, and he was magic with a whip, or paddle, or, really, any pain-causing implement (not that she’d let him try them all—nothing that left marks she or anyone else could see once she left the club; what happened there stayed there…she thought). He’d been the first Dom to agree to her terms—no sex, just punishment when they met at the club, and maybe some structure and check ins via text and email. It had lasted two years before he just stopped showing up twice a month and deactivated the phone and email contacts she had for him. She couldn’t look him up. He’d never given her a name of any kind; she’d just called him Master or Sir. The anonymity had been the only thing he insisted on when they discussed terms. Of course, the name she’d given him had been false, too.

She thought over all of it as the water ran over her body, barely easing aches she hadn’t even realized were there. She hadn’t just been watched. It seemed like at least half of her life the past few years was a fabrication, and she wondered what kind of shitty game Kylo had been playing with her. It was easier to think of him as Kylo, now, because Ben she knew before wouldn’t ever have manipulated her the way Kylo Ren had. Maybe he really hadn’t been lying that night in the library, when he told her Ben was gone and wasn’t ever coming back.

She shouldn’t trust him.

Them, really. Not any of them. These were Snoke’s people, and Rey knew she’d seen too much to ever just be allowed to leave. Either they would kill her or keep her around a while and then kill her.

So why couldn’t she stop trusting Ben? Or Paul, for that matter? Even Trudgen or whatever the bloody hell his real name was.

She sighed and shut off the water, reaching for a towel and staring straight into the camera in the ceiling as she took her time drying off. She found a new bottle of lotion in the medicine cabinet. It just had to be her favorite brand, didn’t it? The one that hadn’t even hit the market until after Ben left her in the library. She returned to what she had decided was the optimal angle to make sure she was clearly visible to whomever happened to be watching and set about moisturizing her skin (something she rarely bothered with, actually).

Short of refusing to eat and shower and dress at all, it was the most defiant thing she could think of to do under her present circumstances. She reached for the fluffy robe on a hook by the bathroom door then thought better of it before marching naked into the bedroom and flinging open the closet. She grabbed a white dress shirt at random and pulled it on, closing only enough buttons to keep it from falling off of her as she stomped into the living room and practically threw herself onto the sofa.

She looked up at the sound of the lock being thrown, followed by a light knock as the door swung open. “Morning!” Jannah called, entering the room with her arms full of fabric. Vicrul followed, pushing a wheeled rack with yet more clothing, Trudgen guarding the door.

She knew better than to try to run (not that she could actually go anywhere).

Rey just looked at them each in turn, crossing her arms and wishing she’d thought to roll up the sleeves as the empty fabric flopped over her hands. She didn’t speak, nor did she get up, but they didn’t seem to care.

Jannah didn’t say anything else until Vicrul and Trudgen stepped back out into the corridor, closing the door and locking the women in the room. “Well, someone’s sullen this morning,” Jannah said, staring Rey down. Eventually Rey gave in and looked away. Fine. Let Jannah win that one. “Come on, I don’t have all day. Into the bedroom with you.” Rey rolled her eyes and huffed her annoyance, but she did get up and walk into the other room—slowly.

Half the clothes stayed, and Rey was relieved to see at least some comfortable loungewear and (thank the Maker) real underwear—plain cotton and enough of it to cover her arse. Jannah smirked when she saw Rey reach for that particular pile of fabric on the bed. “Kylo insisted there be some comfortable pieces,” she said. Rey dropped the fabric in her hand and crossed her arms again.

There was a flicker in the lights, a series of beeps, and Jannah grabbed her by the shoulders, dragging her into the bathroom. “Get it together, girl,” she hissed. “Either you convince Snoke Kylo’s trying to get you under control or neither of you gets out of here alive.”

“What do you care?”

“Do you seriously think I’m here willingly? No, but I do what I have to, it’s how I’ve survived. This is more test for Kylo than you, you know. Snoke’s never given him a pet before, content with reminding him you were out living a shadow of the life you should have, then you had to walk your ass right in here.”

Rey gaped at her and looked up at the camera.

“We have about…forty-five seconds before the systems come back online after that little power surge a minute ago,” Jannah said. “It was a risk but you may just get us all killed if you don’t start at least pretending to give up. Believe me, you do NOT want Snoke interfering in whatever Kylo is doing to supposedly break you. Snoke wants you hopeless and subservient, do you understand?”

There was a crackle and hiss from just outside the door, and a whirring sound as the cameras came back on and refocused.

“So, you used the conditioner, what about leave in, or the heat protectant?” Jannah asked, grabbing a handful of Rey’s hair.

“Ow! I…no, just shampoo and conditioner.”

Jannah shook her head and clucked her tongue. “Too late now, no time left. Just go get dressed. Or don’t, whatever. You’ll have a few hours to go through the rest of the clothes and put them away, but you need to dress for dinner. Once a week it’s a formal group meal. I suggest the blue silk sleeveless sheath, and don’t forget stockings and heels. Since it’s the first they’ll probably send me back to do your hair and makeup.”

And then Jannah was just suddenly gone, leaving Rey in the bathroom and hurrying back to the (suite? Flat?) door and knocking. It was a moment before Rey heard the lock tumblers disengage. This time Vicrul stayed at the door while Trudgen grabbed the clothing rack with one hand and Jannah with the other, tugging both into the hallway before closing the door again. She felt a sinking sensation as the lock clicked over once again.

She was in over her head.

Not that she hadn’t realized that before, but…well, it was so much worse than she had imagined. She knew, logically, that Baz and Din and Phasma wouldn’t give up on her, not to mention the hell her friends were likely to raise.

They must be so worried.

Rose would be furious, if she knew it was all because Rey had followed Ben or Kylo or whoever he thought he was today out of the hospital because she was mad at him.

Actually, Rey was pretty angry with herself for that, but that nine-year-old who fell in love with Ben Solo the day they met was still there inside her, and sometimes she was loud enough to drown out reason and common sense.

She took her time putting away all the clothes, but it still didn’t take all that long. There was no telly, and of course no computer or anything that might allow contact with the outside world. She almost didn’t see the bookshelf at first, tucked in between a fully stocked bar and what she supposed passed for a kitchenette (microwave, refrigerator, and a hot plate), and a tiny sink that looked like something from a travel trailer.

She recognized most of the titles, some of the books themselves, and tried not to let the faint hope stirring in her chest grow any stronger. She reached for one in the far corner of the bottom shelf, out of place in a collection carefully organized by genre and author. The battered paperback was held together with clear tape, a few pages pulled loose and tucked back in, and the paper yellowing around the edges. The cover was wavy from water damage.

She was curled on the couch, book still in her hands, and staring blankly at the far wall when B-Kylo unlocked the door and strode in, glaring at her. “You should be dressed by now. Jannah will be here in five minutes.” She tossed the book on the coffee table, wincing when the first page fluttered loose, and he froze, staring from the book to her and back again before gently picking it up and tucking the page back inside.

She’d been behind in a lot of subjects, before Mama Maz adopted her, and she struggled with reading for a while after that.

The worn, second-hand copy of The Secret Garden was the first one she’d ever gotten through all by herself. Well, mostly. Over the course of weeks, she’d read it out loud to Ben Solo, and he’d patiently waited while she stumbled over words and asked him what they meant.

She didn’t have to see it to know what was on the mostly blank title page. A sticker, printed words “This book belongs to” and then ‘Ben’ written in fairly neat script, with a hastily scrawled ‘and REY’ squeezed in beside it.

She’d thought she lost it and cried for days when she realized she couldn’t give it back to him.

Rey went into the bedroom and retrieved the blue silk dress from where she’d hung it on the closet door.

Dinner was an exercise in stress and anxiety. No one talked, except for Snoke, unless he addressed them directly. The food was probably delicious, but it all seemed to turn to overly salty sawdust on her tongue. Taking her cue from Jannah, who was seated directly across from her between Vicrul and Cardo, Rey kept her eyes down, intently focused on the tablecloth, and a tiny spot of grease that had dripped from the edge of her plate.

“And what of you, New Pet?”

She started when Ben (because after finding the book she couldn’t not think of him as Ben again) poked her in the side. She gasped and blinked rapidly, before glancing up and Snoke and down again. “Your pet needs better training, Kylo Ren,” the man muttered. “Her manners are atrocious. Well, girl, what of it? Look at me!” he demanded. “I asked what you think of my hospitality.” He toyed with the overly sharp steak knife.

“I think I should quite like to go home now, sir,” she said, unable to stop herself from meeting his eyes. At least she didn’t have to pretend to be afraid.

“Why, my dear, you are home,” he said. “For now,” he added. “How long, well that’s up to you.”

He looked away from her. “Still too much fire,” he mumbled. “See to that,” he directed at Ben. “I expect you to do the job properly this time.” He paused, and Rey felt a chill in the air as his mouth twisted in some horrific approximation of a smile. “Perhaps a little…incentive for you both?” Ben looked down, jaw ticking. “No? Fine then. You have twenty-four hours to teach your pet her place, or Ushar will train her for you.” She didn’t think anyone else could see the entirety of Ben’s reaction to the threat, but he was visibly pale and Jannah gasped. She thought maybe Paul did as well, and Trudgen looked from Rey to Ushar to Snoke before meeting her eyes. She didn’t need to be psychic to read the warning there.

After the threat had registered with everyone, Snoke stood and left the room. Ben shoved his chair back hard enough it fell over with an echoing crack, and she thought maybe one of the legs had snapped off. Her own chair moved with a jerk and then he pulled her out of it, grip on her upper arm too tight. She didn’t fight or argue as he dragged her from the room.

Because he was afraid.

She could feel it radiating off of him, would have known even if his eyes hadn’t been wide and darting back and forth, assessing for threats. He was like a spooked animal. Rey stumbled and kicked off the heels, glad she hadn’t worn a pair with straps, then practically ran beside him in an attempt to match his pace.

She heard the door lock behind them once they were in his rooms again and realized someone else had followed and locked them inside.

“Twenty-four hours,” he muttered, glaring at the door. “They won’t let us out until the time’s up, and they’ll definitely be watching.”

He turned back to her, and the hopelessness was heartbreaking.

“No more pretending,” she breathed.

He seemed confused.

“I mean you. Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t.” He opened his mouth, ready to argue again that her Ben was gone, but that wasn’t what Rey meant. Not this time. She reached back, tugging at the zipper on the dress and then shrugging out of it, shoving the fabric down over her hips as he stared at her. She could see his pulse in his neck, and for a moment she worried about a heart attack. She reached out and shoved at his chest, pushing him onto the couch and then straddling his lap.

“It’s not about a name: Ben, Kylo, Sir, whatever you want to be called,” she whispered, leaning in close enough their lips brushed with every word. “Hurt me if you need to. I’m not ready for either of us to die, so I need you to help me convince him I’m as broken as he wants.”

The sound he made was something like a whimper, but he didn’t resist when she kissed him, leaning into it for a moment before he shoved her off his lap and into the floor, so that she ended up kneeling between his spread thighs. He licked his lips and stroked her hair for a moment before grabbing a handful and jerking her forward.

“I believe you’ll recall lesson one was rudely interrupted. We’ll start there,” he hissed. “You know what to do.”

The camera above them made a whirring sound, whoever was watching zooming in as she reached for his belt.

Chapter Text

“But I don’t understand why, though,” Rey said, still confused after the multiple attempts by the adults in the room to explain it to her. It would have helped if they hadn’t kept talking over each other and getting sidetracked by anecdotes.

It had been a simple question, not even that, more an observation, really. Beaumont Kin was a newlywed. Rey had gone to the wedding with Baz and Captain Phasma and Ben and Detective Djarin (her sister’s new partner since Ben had moved to a different division again). She’d seen Kin’s wife put a shiny new ring on his hand, seen the way he kept looking at his hand and smiling the same way he did when he looked at his wife. But he wouldn’t wear it. His wife did, on a chain around her neck.

“It’s because he’s trying to protect her,” Ben said from behind her. “Don’t want the bad guys knowing there’s someone you care about. Especially the ones with resources and the ability to hold a grudge.”

It made sense, Rey supposed. Probably why he and Baz acted like watchful prairie dogs when they were all out sometimes, too. She turned and grinned at him, lounging there in the kitchen doorway as if he’d been standing there all afternoon. “You’re late, Solo,” she called, sliding off her chair and crossing the room for a hug.

“Sorry, LB. Caught up with this case,” he said, leaning down to let her put an arm around his neck. Ben gave decent hugs, though they were always a little short, and he always smelled good.

Er, almost always, apparently. For once she was the one to end the embrace, stepping back and glaring at him as she smacked him in the chest. “You smell like cigarettes,” she said. “I thought you quit smoking.”

He shrugged and looked away. “I did,” he muttered, sounding like a little boy who’d been caught doing something naughty.

“Do it again,” she ordered, arms crossed over her chest as she stared up at him. He winced and nodded, and she realized how very tired he seemed. “You’re not sleeping, either,” she added.

“That’s not new.” He yawned and Rey could have sworn she heard his jaw crack. “Jus’ need some coffee and to sit down for five minutes, then we can go.”

“It’s worse than usual. Coffee won’t fix this.” Rey rolled her eyes (she was a teenager, it was allowed). “Ben, go to bed. You’re too tired to even drive yourself home, there’s no way you can stay awake for today’s lesson. I’ll bunk with Baz or sleep on the couch tonight.”

“You’d be doing all the work anyway,” he said, then seemed to regret the words as soon as they were out, though she wasn’t sure why.

“I think you still have to be awake for it to count. Pretty sure the accompanying adult supervising has to be conscious in order to, you know, supervise.”

“That’s true,” Detective Djarin called from where he was sitting at the table with Baz. “I can go with her today, Solo.”

“It’s fine,” Rey said. “It’s too late anyway, it would be dark before we got back.” She turned back to Ben, adding softly, “I can wait for you. I’m good at waiting.” She grinned and glanced back over her shoulder again. “Besides, Din drives the way Baz does.”

Her hands were on his belt buckle when the lock clicked over and the door swung open.

The interruptions were getting annoying.

Ben jerked upright from his slouched position and Rey turned, icy fear striking as Snoke stepped into the room, Cardo and Vicrul a little behind and to each side. The bodyguards—because that was clearly what they were at the moment—stationed themselves on either side of the door as the older man made a slow circle around the room, hands behind his back as he studied the shelves and the scant decorations. He paused at the bar, eyes on the various bottles and decanters as he finally spoke, tone at odds with his relaxed posture.

He was seething.

“I have decided,” he bit out, “perhaps bent remains preferable to broken.” He turned. “Kylo, New Pet—”

“My name is Rey,” she said steadily, forcing herself to maintain what Kaydel described as ‘aggressive eye contact.’ Snoke didn’t really react in any way she could pick up on, but she somehow felt he might have been…well, pleased wasn’t the correct word, neither was impressed, but he wasn’t so dismissive as before.

“Perhaps,” the man said, studying her with a new interest before looking at Ben. “Kylo, you will dress your pet and wait in my office at Finalizer.”

Rey bit back a gasp of shock, cutting off the sound but unable to hide the surprised widening of her eyes or stop herself from jerking a bit. Then he was gone, Cardo following but Vicrul remaining in the room, leaning back against the wall by the door.

At least that explained some things about the club, if Snoke owned it (or at least managed…whatever, if he had any hand in the place at all). Unorthodox was the polite word used to describe the place. Unsafe was more common. She shivered as she realized how lucky she’d been to match up with Trudgen. Although maybe that hadn’t actually been luck, all things considered.

Ben grabbed her hand and hauled her to her feet before practically dragging her into the bedroom. Vicrul didn’t follow, at least.

He glared into his closet, hand tugging through his hair a few times as he muttered to himself and pawed through the clothes, still mumbling to himself in words too low for Rey to make out.

At least three dresses and what she was pretty sure was just a long shirt lay on the floor when he turned and looked at her. “I don’t…” he trailed off and shook his head.

She stepped around him and reached in, pulling out a deep burgundy silk dress with spaghetti straps and leaning down for a pair of strappy black stilettos. “This is the best we can do with what’s available,” she said, sitting on the edge of the bed to put the shoes on first. He just watched her, jaw ticking and hands flexing as he did.

Even after six years without him in her life, she knew his tells. He was angry, and he was scared. He was also trying very hard not to say something he didn’t want her to hear or thought would make her angry. Rey decided to humor him—for now.

She stood, groaning at the aching in her joints and instantly increased pain in her feet from the change in her posture due to the heels, pulled off the bra she’d been wearing, and stepped into the form-fitting dress, pulling it up and struggling the slightest bit with the straps as they twisted. “Zip me up, please,” she said, turning to present him with her back. He hesitated a moment before doing as requested and then stepping back a little too quickly. She took a step and made a face before reaching for the hem and tugging it up her thighs. The stockings she had on could stay, but underwear of any kind wasn’t going to work. She noticed his eyes darkened before he looked away as she tugged the black lace down and tossed it aside before smoothing the dress back down and giving an experimental wiggle. Much better. The lace must have been catching on the silk.

“Shall we?” He looked at her again and nodded once, letting her take his arm and lead him back into the living room before he managed to get control of himself and guide her. If she hadn’t spent most of her life studying and pining for him, she would have thought she’d imagined his fear.

Vicrul opened the door with a muttered “9-E.” Rey felt Ben stiffen in surprise for a split second and then it was like it had never happened. Vicrul closed the door behind them and led them down a hallway Rey hadn’t gone through so far. Ben followed and she stayed at his side, grateful when he steadied her as she stumbled on an uneven patch of the concrete floor.

The fluorescent lighting buzzed overhead and she fought back a sudden bout of nausea from the combination of the sound and the confusion of the sudden change in circumstances. None of this made sense. She’d thought she was a prisoner, never to get out alive, and suddenly they were being allowed out with only one guard.

Vicrul opened a heavy door that turned out to be at the bottom of a ramp leading up to a large garage.

Make that two guards, she mentally corrected, seeing Paul waiting beside a blacked-out SUV. There were several of the vehicles, all identical. Paul opened the rear passenger door of the one he’d been leaning against and Ben helped her up. He surprised her by pushing her into the middle and climbing in beside her. She opened her mouth but her question was answered before she could ask it when Paul jogged around the vehicle and climbed in on the other side of her. Vicrul got into the driver’s seat and started the engine, backing smoothly out of the space (despite the fact he could have just pulled forward) and then heading for the door at the far end.

Rey paid attention to her surroundings, surprised to find they’d exited another abandoned-looking warehouse further down the block.

“How?” Ben said, voice surprisingly even for the tremors and tension she could feel from him again, pressed into his side as she was.

“Who knows,” Paul said with an exaggerated shrug. “Three out of fuel, one dead battery, one with multiple flats, other issues too numerous to list. Snoke took the town car with Kuruk. Cardo and Ushar are following.”

“Trudgen?” Ben asked.

“Sent ahead,” Vicrul called over his shoulder as he turned left.

Ben looked at Rey then. “We have until we reach the club without up-close video or audio surveillance.” He held up a hand as she opened her mouth. “There’s really not time for questions, I wish there were. You can trust these two, and Trudgen, to a point at least, but never forget Snoke is always watching somehow. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has someone following with a camera on us, even though in theory the windows are too dark to see through.”

Rey nodded and gnawed at her lower lip as Ben looked up, probably using the mirror to see Vicrul’s face. “What changed?”

“Not sure,” Vicrul said. “Call came in from the lawyer almost as soon as you left the table.”

Ben snorted. “Hux? What did that asshole want?”

Vicrul shrugged. “Hell if I know, but as soon as they hung up Snoke started snapping orders.”

“He was smiling,” Paul muttered.

“Well, that can’t be good,” Ben said, looking out the window and lifting his hand before making a concentrated effort to put it back down without running it through his hair again. He’d always done that when he was particularly agitated, regardless of what emotion was the cause.

“Definitely not. Whatever it is has something to do with Rey. He muttered something about a valuable pet and ‘making use of her’ when he left the dining room,” Vicrul said, glancing into the rear-view mirror to meet their eyes.

Ben’s hand landed on her thigh and tensed, hold painful enough to make her gasp as his fingers flexed. He jerked it away with a hastily muttered apology. She took a breath and glanced to her left at Paul before reaching out and grabbing Ben’s hand, guiding it back to her leg. She felt Paul shift as if trying to move away even though there was nowhere to go, and when she turned her head to look at him again, he was staring resolutely out the window.

Despite Ben's assertion there wasn't time for questions, Rey took advantage of the tense silence. “Was everything a lie?” she demanded, staring at Paul as he pretended not to know she was speaking to him. Stoking her own anger, hoping it might burn away some of the fear and confusion that kept clouding her, she let herself dwell on that moment years ago when he’d disappeared from her life almost as suddenly as he came into it. She saw Paul’s eyes close, his almost pained expression reflected in the window. Ben tried to pull his hand away and she slapped her palm down over his fingers again, never looking away from what she could see of her only real, serious boyfriend. Paul shook his head slowly, mouth pressed into a firm line.

“It wasn’t a lie, Rey.” She turned to face Ben when he spoke, actually releasing his hand when he tried to pull away, and he continued, eyes steadily locked on hers. “I know what you’re thinking, and I did ask Ap’lek to watch out for you, keep you safe. But anything else…that was all him.” He looked away and she stared down at her lap for a moment. It would be easier, somehow, if one or both of them had said yes, it was all a set up from the beginning.

“What about…what about the others? Following me, watching me? It’s been six fucking years!” Her breathing was picking up, chest tightening and eyes beginning to burn.

“It was longer than that,” Vicrul said from the driver’s seat. “Snoke had us watching you when you were in high school. You and your sister.”

“WHY?”

“Because of me,” Ben said, covering her hand and squeezing her fingers lightly before pulling away. “From even before I got assigned to the case, he was…trying to recruit me. I still don’t really know why. But…”

“But he threatened the people you cared about,” Rey breathed (or tried to anyway), remembering so many moments in a new light. Looks, comments, nervous pacing, canceled or changed plans at the last minute—sometimes even after they’d arrived at a restaurant or movie theater or shopping center—when Ben would look up at something and narrow his eyes before he suddenly recalled something he absolutely had to do or realized he’d forgotten his wallet or gotten an urgent call even though his phone never rang.

When she really thought about it, she realized it was always when it was just the two or three of them, Rey and Ben, or Rey, Ben, and Baz. Never when her friends were along.

Something about that detail…

The vehicle rolled to a stop in the private lot behind Finalizer and she couldn’t think about anything other than what might be waiting inside. Paul and Vicrul got out and closed their doors almost in synchronization. Vicrul rounded the front of the vehicle and Paul the back, converging on the rear passenger door. As Paul reached for the door handle, she grabbed desperately for Ben’s arm with both her hands. “Whatever it takes,” she said, “Whatever you have to do—whatever we have to do—just stay alive,” she begged.

“Whatever it takes,” he whispered back, and he was there again, the Detective Ben Solo she remembered, even if he was gone again in the blink of an eye—literally, one blink, and he was Kylo Ren, the head of Snoke’s security team in appearance regardless of the reality of the situation. It should have been frightening, how quickly he could shift from one to the other, and maybe she should wonder which of them was real—the cop, the criminal (because that she wasn’t questioning anymore), or the man caught between worlds. Ben unfolded himself from the vehicle and held out a hand, practically dragging her out when she reached out to tentatively take it.

Whatever it takes.

She stumbled a few times, and it was Paul who reached out to steady her, as Ben/Kylo/whoever he had to be at the moment pulled her along. A back door opened from the inside as they approached, a man in a tight black t-shirt and an earpiece nodding respectfully at them as they walked into a storage room of sorts. He picked up a phone as Vicrul opened another door and Ben took her through, leading her up a staircase and grumbling in exasperation as her heels kept catching in the open grate of the metal steps. For a moment she thought he was going to pick her up but he didn’t, letting her go and moving to the top of the stairs to glare down at her from the landing as she tried stretching a little higher on her toes, just enough to keep the heels from touching the stairs, and ascended the rest of the way, Paul’s hand hovering at her back just in case.

The door at the top of the stairs led to a catwalk around the entirety of the building. At least the flooring was solid rather than a metal grate. Rey glanced down and froze, clutching desperately at the railing. She’d never had a problem with heights before…

“Hey, eyes up, just watch his back,” Paul said, gently grasping her elbow. “Keep breathing and follow Kylo, I swear I won’t let you fall, Rey.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before nodding and following Kylo. The catwalk was wide enough they could have walked three abreast, and the railing was higher than her waist. Paul was right, she was fine, she could do this. She stared at the center of Ben’s back and took a shaky step, Paul hovering right behind her. Ben opened another door when she reached his side, and they stepped into a lushly decorated lobby of sorts, with thick, soft carpet, wood paneling, and an elevator.

“There’s an elevator?” she said, irritated and incredulous.

“Only Snoke has the key,” Ben muttered, cutting off her protests before she could even voice them. Trudgen was waiting by another door, and he opened it as they approached. Ben led her inside and Vicrul followed, leaving Paul and Trudgen stationed outside the door.

Snoke kept them waiting almost an hour, before sweeping into the room, Cardo and Kuruk on his heels like trained guard dogs. “Leave us, Kylo. I’d like to have a private chat with your pet.”

Ben stiffened and looked like he would protest, but she squeezed his hand and stared at him, gaze pleading.

Whatever it takes.

He left the room, Vicrul and the others following. She stared at Snoke, afraid to look away and stubbornly refusing to give him the satisfaction of showing her fear any more than she already had. He stared back, considering what she didn’t know, until the door opened again and Ushar entered the room with a tall, ginger haired man. He seemed vaguely familiar, and Snoke introduced him as Armitage Hux. The lawyer, then.

Ushar left the room, Snoke pressed a button on his phone and waited a moment before nodding to Mr. Hux. When the man began speaking, Rey found her entire world upended yet again in only a matter of days.

Ben was pacing the small lobby when she exited the office, shaken but determined. Hux followed her out and he and Ben glared at one another for a moment. Rey just shook her head and stomped to the elevator before turning back and glaring at them all—Ben, Hux, Trudgen, and Vicrul. She knew Paul had gone to get the car started, she’d heard Snoke make the call. Cardo and Kuruk had been dispatched on some mysterious errand. She didn’t know about Ushar—his orders hadn’t been verbal, or at least not in her presence—and that made her more uncomfortable. He still unsettled her more than any of the others combined, except maybe for Snoke.

That man was completely unhinged, but at the moment it seemed to be working in her favor.

Rey crossed her arms and waited until she had their attention, before holding up a shiny silver key, so newly cut it was sharp, then placed it in the keyhole by the elevator and waiting for the panel to open before placing her palm on the scanner in the newly opened recess. There was a faint beep and the elevator doors slid silently open. Only Hux and Trudgen managed to hide any signs of surprise, but then Hux had been in the room and Trudgen had never shown much of anything.

She stepped into the elevator and Hux followed, giving her a slight nod as the others scrambled to follow before the doors closed again.

“What the fuck?” came from more than one direction but Rey remained silent. When the doors opened again, Hux stepped out and gestured. Rey stepped out, quickly followed by Trudgen who went directly to the far door and put his hand on the knob before looking expectantly at Rey. She nodded and he made some kind of vague gesture she wouldn’t have even noticed if she hadn’t been watching for it. Ben fell into step on her right, Hux on her left. Vicrul stepped in front of them, taking point as Trudgen opened the door, and then Trudgen followed closely behind them as rear guard.

It was unnerving, how easily she was slipping into this, but then she knew Ben, sort of knew Trudgen, and Hux knew more of what was going on. The thing surprising her the most, truthfully, was that Ben was following her lead without question, for now at least.

Vicrul led the way through the crowd, their little party sticking out like a sore thumb, with Rey in her dress and the men surrounding her in designer (and even bespoke, at least Hux’s case, and possibly Ben’s) suits. She felt eyes on them, heard voices, but this she knew how to do. She smiled, made eye contact here and there, and managed to walk with confidence, never stumbling once as they made for the back storage room where they’d entered the building. That door swung open just as they reached it and they never slowed their pace, the group of them stalking through the door, across the small room, and outside.

As she left the building, the door guard nodded at her, this time, uttering a polite “Ma’am,” as she passed him.

That was fast.

Paul was waiting by the car, rear passenger door already open. Vicrul opened the door on the driver’s side for Hux as she and Ben rounded the vehicle, Trudgen still following. She wondered briefly where he would sit before spotting the motorcycle and remembering he had been sent ahead on his own. He’d probably be following them to…well, wherever they went next.

It all happened too quickly to follow.

She turned, trying to figure out the best way to get into the vehicle without flashing anyone—she’d only managed before because Ben had ‘helped’ by practically lifting her into the seat as he pushed, and he’d been blocking anyone else’s view at the time.

She heard the whine of an approaching engine, smaller and not as loud as the ones on the motorcycles the knights had. Was that a dirt bike? Then the helmeted rider was on them.

A blade flashed, someone shouted, and Ben practically tossed her into the backseat.

But she wasn’t the target.

Whoever it had been was gone before Paul slumped to his knees and then crumpled to the pavement.

Rey scrambled out of the car, unable to even scream, just muttering “No,” over and over again. She reached for him, no longer caring how high her dress rode up as she sat on the pavement. “Hold on, okay, we’ll get you help, you just hold on, Paul.”

She held his hand, stroked his face as Ben tried to put pressure on the wound.

It wouldn’t do any good. She knew it, knew it was too late, but they had to try.

Through the haze of tears, she realized Paul’s lips were moving, struggling to form words. She leaned in close, barely catching them. “Impossible,” she thought he said, or at least that was what it sounded like.

Impossible not to love you.

It was the last thing he’d said to her so many years ago, the day he broke up with her. “It was impossible not to love you, Rey, and I don’t think that will change. But I’m not him and I can’t keep competing with this ghost of a memory.”

She broke into sobs as Ben hauled her back into the vehicle, Vicrul pulling away before Ben and Hux even closed their doors.

Chapter Text

Rey could hear the low murmur of Ben’s voice outside the curtain, assuring Baz she was fine and no, she didn’t need to leave work early. It was just a mild sprain.

A stupid, mild sprain that she got from rolling her ankle in the stupid, strappy wedge sandals she’d insisted on wearing despite both Ben and Bazine telling her she needed comfortable shoes.

The nurse in the theme park’s first aid station finished wrapping her ankle and offered a tired smile. “There you are, miss, all set,” the man said. “Just take some painkillers, ice and elevate it when you get home, and you’ll probably be fine in a couple of days, although I still have to suggest you follow up with your own medical practitioner.”

Rey nodded and the man opened the little curtain and nodded at Ben, who was waiting with a clipboard with all the paperwork that had to be signed by an adult.

Ben looked down at her feet, one wrapped in a compression bandage and the other bare, and then glared at the sandals in her hand. “Here,” he mumbled, thrusting a bag at her.

Rey took it, confused until she looked inside and found a pair of the ridiculously overpriced canvas sneakers covered in images of the park’s cartoon mascot and clusters of sequins. She had been eyeing them earlier in one of the souvenir shops with Rose and Kaydel.

She looked up at Ben and opened her mouth to, well, thank him she supposed, or maybe just question the purchase and complain about the price, but he cut her off, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall by the door. “Go on, put them on. I told Rose to get you socks too. Security let me leave the car in the 15-minute parking but you still have to walk.

“You could just carry me,” she muttered, sitting down in a hard plastic chair and gingerly pulling on one of the socks that matched the design of the shoes, down to the cartoon character poses.

“Could,” he said, “But I won’t. Maybe you’ll learn a lesson.”

Rey narrowed her eyes and glared at him, but he opened the door and walked out before she could reply.

She hurriedly finished with the socks and shoes, then dropped her sandals and small cross-body bag that was really just an oversized wallet into the plastic shopping bag and hobbled after him.

Her friends were outside in the shade, three spoons and the dregs of a banana split in front of them. Kaydel was laughing at Finn’s reaction to whatever Rose had said. They caught sight of her and grinned, waving and then laughing when Kaydel cried out, “She lives!” and pretended to swoon onto the table. She didn’t see Ben and wondered where he’d disappeared to but shrugged and slowly made her way to her friends. Finn met her halfway, taking the bag and half-carrying her to the table.

“Does it hurt? Do you need anything?” Rose demanded. “Oh, God, we should have saved you some ice cream!”

“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Kaydel muttered, nodding at where Ben was returning with five water bottles, a brownie sundae and his own (extremely boring but underappreciated) vanilla soft serve.

Rey offered to share, and Kaydel and Finn plucked the cherries off the top, but other than that they let her have the swiftly melting treat and guzzled their water bottles, despite Ben’s grumbling that they should slow down so they wouldn’t get sick.

Rose stopped resisting and helped with the brownie when the melted ice cream started dripping to the table because Rey kept getting distracted by watching Ben eat his own ice cream. Twice, Rose had to poke her in the ribs before she dropped an entire spoonful in her lap and Finn cleared his throat and shoved a fistful of napkins at her when she maybe let her mouth fall open, possibly also having forgotten she’d just shoveled in a spoonful of her sundae for watching Ben.

The man’s mouth was absolutely sinful. It was completely unfair.

She’d be eighteen in a few months. She could wait until then. Really, she could. She shook her head as he walked over to the nearest trash can with the plastic spoon, paper bowl, and napkins in his hand. “Ready?” he asked, arms crossed and eyes scanning the ebb and flow of the crowds moving past. Rey sighed and nodded, then turned to her friends, who were watching her with a mixture of amusement and pity. “Sorry I ruined the day,” she muttered.

They argued, of course, insisted they’d done all they wanted and it wasn’t her fault, and Kaydel and Rose carried her things while Finn gave her a piggy-back ride the rest of they way out of the park. Still, it was spring break, they were finally seniors, and had been planning the day since Bazine and Ben had given them the tickets for Christmas. Baz had planned to come as their chaperone but hadn’t been able to because of a court appearance that got rescheduled. Ben had only agreed after all four teens begged, Kaydel and Rose cried, and Baz had pulled him into the kitchen for a heated discussion about it.

Rey still thought it was overkill, they would have been fine, but she knew Baz would never have let them go (or at least not let Rey go) without someone to ‘keep an eye on’ them, and the tickets couldn’t be used on weekends or once summer started.

Rey wasn’t exactly upset Ben ended up accompanying them, although she probably would have worn sneakers and maybe a pair of shorts that weren’t skintight and barely long enough to cover her, well, anything.

Thankfully, first aid was near the main entry area, and security let Ben pull the car right in front of the exit gate while she and her friends waited (they must be really afraid she’d sue or demand a refund). She fell asleep in the front passenger seat before they even reached the interstate.

The suspension on the SUV was going to be wrecked by the sound of it, but Rey couldn’t really bring herself to care as she finally took what she’d wanted for years, the vehicle groaning with their every move—almost as loudly as the man under her.

Ben made a pained noise when she bit his lower lip again, just shy of hard enough to break the skin but definitely enough to hurt, make his lip swell, and annoy him. She hummed happily against his mouth when his fingertips dug into her hips harder and she knew she’d have delicious bruises the next day.

Some little part of her, way in the back of her mind, remembered the day of Mama’s funeral, and how she’d thought for a moment her sister and Ben were having sex.

Apparently, grief and death and fear really did make people want to feel alive.

Or, well, Rey Netal and Ben Solo anyway.

She gasped, grinding down against him again, letting his hands guide her and pull her down hard against him. Oh, Maker, he wasn’t even inside her yet and she was seeing starbursts behind her eyelids.

The change in him had been sudden, both of them still damp and sticky with Paul’s blood (more so Rey) and the rain that had just begun to fall as they fled the scene.

Of a murder.

Of Paul’s murder.

“Oh, God, what did we just do? What are we doing? We have to call someone! We need to go back!” She panicked and babbled and screamed when Vicrul hit the gas harder, Ben’s arms locking around her in place of the seatbelt she hadn’t yet bothered with.

It wasn’t until he grabbed her hands that she even realized she’d been scrabbling at the door handle, trying to open it at the SUV sped through empty streets, cutting down alleyways and making sudden turns.

She vaguely recognized the buildings they passed, heading out of the city.

“Where are we going?”

“Hopefully somewhere safe,” Hux said, before muttering, “I didn’t think he’d go this far…”

She almost asked who ‘he’ was before she caught herself.

Snoke. Of course, it was Snoke.

Paul had been her most vocal defender, the one to defy the man most openly.

Snoke, the absolute madman who had just decided that evening that Rey would be his new apprentice, trained and groomed to take over most of his businesses—the legitimate ones, anyway.

“You’ll have to change your name, of course,” Snoke said, as if she’d already accepted and would have no objections. After all, he seemed to think he was being generous.

“Kylo will continue in his current position, until you assume the reins. Perhaps I should make him your pet…” Snoke trailed off, staring at something no one else could see. The smile that slowly crept over his face was sickening and Rey barely managed to suppress a shudder.

“And what name do you suggest, sir?”

“Why, Kira, of course. That is, after all, who you really are,” he insisted. She shifted uncomfortably. Hux and Snoke were insistent she was Kira Palpatine, the granddaughter of Snoke’s former mentor (and chief rival), Sheev Palpatine, CEO of the biggest oil conglomerate in the world.

She wasn’t. She knew she wasn’t, couldn’t be. Kira Palpatine died in a plane crash with her parents. The only thing Rey had in common with the girl was her age and the fact that she’d been found wandering and turned over to child services around the same time the Palpatine jet went down in another country.

“Old man just left you there, never even attempted to look for you, even though only the bodies of your parents were ever recovered. Imagine the life you should have had. You want your revenge; I can see it in your eyes.”

Oh, she wanted revenge, all right. Against Snoke. He took Ben from her, ruined her life, and she was almost certain he really was behind the attack on Bazine.

He was insane, unpredictable, and handing her the perfect opportunity to at least try to save Ben—and herself, of course. If she played along, eventually she’d have some sort of leverage, and maybe an opportunity to get a message to Baz or Phasma or Rose…someone, and just let them know she was physically okay, at least.

She agreed (not that there was any other option) and by the time she left his office the word had already begun to spread. Rey—er, Kira—was Snoke’s new favorite.

She planned to take advantage of the relative privacy in the SUV to relay what she could to Ben, but she didn’t get the chance.

As Vicrul sped away from the alley behind the club, abandoning Paul’s lifeless body to the steadily increasing rain, she argued, begged, and demanded to go back, despite the fact that she knew that would be the worst thing any of them could do at the moment.

So, she settled against Ben, let him hold her to his side, as Hux relayed the events in Snoke’s office to Ben and Vicrul. At the mention of Palpatine, Ben cursed under his breath, arm tightening enough that Rey had a hard time breathing. When Hux said Snoke believed Rey was Kira Palpatine, Ben actually laughed. “He’s finally lost it completely,” he muttered against her hair, hand absently making circles on her stomach.

“True,” Hux said. “But right now, that’s keeping the two of you alive. We all know Rey isn’t Kira Palpatine,” he continued, ignoring Rey’s intake of breath (Hux had been adamant and convincing in his earlier insistence to Snoke that it was true). “The thing we most need to figure out is how we all keep breathing and get away from Snoke.”

Kill him, she thought, barely stopping herself before she actually voiced the words. “Until we do figure that out, we just keep playing along, and hope we get the chance before he decides he doesn’t want to keep playing his little games.”

An alert chimed and Vicrul touched the earpiece he wore, cursing and pulling into a back alley barely wide enough for the vehicle. He said a few words, tapped the earpiece again, and craned his neck to look behind him. “Apparently the safehouse just exploded,” he said, and Rey felt Ben deflate beside her, his hold changing from protective and possessive to desperate and clinging.

She looked at him, turned back to Hux and Vicrul, and felt her face go serious. “We don’t have time to play the long game when we don’t even know the rules. How quickly can we manage the other things Snoke mentioned—my name change, and—” she paused, eyes flicking nervously to Ben and back as she licked her lips and added, “everything else?”

Hux blinked once, nodded, and started scrolling through his phone. “The paperwork is already started, and I know a judge and a couple of clerks who can help expedite matters. Most of it can be completed by the end of the day Monday.”

Rey nodded. “Do it.” She glanced at Ben again, not sure how he would react when he found out what ‘everything else’ entailed.

As it turned out, better than she expected. Maybe it was shock. Maybe he was just as tired as she was of pretending. Either way, he didn’t argue, and after they made a quick side trip to the home of the judge Hux knew, they left the lawyer a block away from his penthouse and started the trip back to the warehouse and their underground prison.

Ben stared at her, silent and intense, and she squirmed.

“Stop the car,” he ordered Vicrul, voice husky and rough. “DO IT,” he added, cutting off the driver’s protests. Vicrul muttered under his breath, pulled over behind another (probably abandoned?) warehouse a few blocks from the one Rey thought of as Snoke’s headquarters, put the vehicle in park, and climbed out, still muttering and cursing.

Rey stared at Ben, questions warring over which would be asked first, but he didn’t let her speak, hands wrapping around her upper arms and hauling her into his lap. She gasped in surprise as his mouth covered hers, lips and tongue threatening to devour her, and some small part of her giggled at the thought that suffocating on Ben’s tongue might not be such a bad way to die.

She jerked her head, pulling as far back as his arms and the confined space of the back seat allowed. She stared at him, studying every freckle and mole, seeking out the depth of complex colors she knew were in his eyes. “Now? Is this really happening now?”

He glanced away, hands coming to rest on her thighs, fingers lightly stroking over silk and skin as he looked back at her. “It’s the most privacy we’re going to get, and what was it you told me a few hours ago? No more pretending?” She stared, not even breathing. “You’re mine Rey. Maybe you always have been.” He made a sound that could almost be described as a laugh had it not been so despairing. “Maybe I really am just a sick monster.”

She reached out, hand resting on the side of his face for a moment before she leaned in, changing her hold to grab a fistful of his hair and jerk his head back. She watched, elated as his breathing picked up, eyes dilating a bit, and she leaned in close enough to kiss him if one of them shifted that last hair’s breadth. “My monster,” she breathed, and then it really was her turn to kiss him the way he had her, as if she planned to devour him from the mouth down. He grunted and grabbed her hips when she bit his tongue, shifting her forward until there was no space between them anywhere. He bucked up against her when she nipped his lower lip then soothed the bite with a swipe of her tongue.

His mouth trailed over her jaw, down her neck, teeth scraping over her pulse point before he closed his lips over her skin and sucked a bruise there. She hoped it would be the first of many as she scrabbled at his shirt, fingers plucking at the buttons. His hands moved again, sliding up over her torso, around her back, and she gasped as he jerked the zipper down then reached up for the straps, tugged them off her shoulders and far enough he could jerk down the top of the dress. She yelped at the first press of his teeth into her left breast, moaned as he bit her again and then licked the bite mark much as she had his lower lip. She squirmed and moaned, grinding down against him and feeling slick moisture trail down her thighs.

It wasn’t like his suit or her dress could be saved anyway.

He continued his work, leaving multiple love bites and bruises on and around her breasts before turning his attention to her nipples and she moaned and ground down hard against him again, getting an answering groan from Ben when she did. Much as she enjoyed what he was doing, she grabbed his hair again, tugging until she pulled his mouth off her right nipple with a lewd pop. She kissed him again, content with that for a moment while she rubbed against his confined erection. She could hear the car creaking and groaning and knew it must be doing some bouncing.

She bit his lip again, he bruised her hips, and she shivered at the look on his face, the tone of his voice as he practically growled her name in warning. He shifted his grip from her hips to the hem of the short dress, fighting to tug the fabric the rest of the way up to her waist as he thrust his tongue in her mouth in the same rhythm their hips found. It was maddening, so close to what she needed but not close enough. She gasped and pulled away from his lips to protest when he pushed her back and tugged her up, but anything she was planning to say left her when finally, after a lifetime of wanting, she felt his fingers brush over her, collecting the slick moisture her body made just for him, for this moment. “Dirty girl,” he muttered, fingertips trailing light, teasing touches. “So wet for me, so naughty, letting me take you in the backseat of the fucking car.” He smirked at the way she jerked at the words, the tone he used. It was like he was two people simultaneously. The words were almost harsh, but his tone was warm, his eyes adoring.

She yelped and threw her head back, eyes closed in bliss when his middle finger pressed inside her. She babbled nonsense as he pulled it out and pushed in again before adding a second. “Happy now, little girl? Hm? Finally getting what you want?” His fingers thrust in a little harder, the wet squelching sound almost embarrassingly loud.

“’m not,” she mumbled as he did it again, curling his fingers just so. “Not a…oh God! Not a little girl.”

“Hm, no, I suppose not.” She whined when he pulled his hand away, then moaned at the burning stretch of a third finger joining the party. “Not anymore,” he whispered, and something about the way he said it almost hurt, but she couldn’t focus on it, couldn’t grasp the fleeting thought as the tension coiled low in her belly.

“My Rey,” he mumbled, shifting uncomfortably and she wasn’t sure if it was because of the situation they were in or just the situation in his pants, but she couldn’t seem to care at the moment. So close, she could feel it coming, building, the hints of a flutter and he jerked his hand away. Her eyes flew open and she glared at him. “Belt,” he ordered. “If we’re really doing this, I’m going to be inside you the first time I make you come.” She clenched around nothing, body demanding to be filled as she scrambled to obey with suddenly uncoordinated fingers. She managed it, though, making quick work of the button and zipper, and he was able to lift up enough to shove his pants and boxer briefs down without dumping her in the floorboard (it helped that his knees pressed against the back of the passenger seat).

“I’ve always been yours, Ben,” she muttered as she hovered over him, feeling the head of him press against her. “Just had to wait,” she said, sliding slowly down and letting her eyelids flutter, as she relished the burning stretch. “Had to grow up.” She lowered herself a little more, feeling the fine tremors in his arms and legs as he fought not to move, not to wrest control from her. They both moaned as she took a breath and quickly dropped the rest of the way. Rey winced and took a few more deep breaths with her eyes closed. She felt him panting, chest heaving under her hands, and opened her eyes, giving him a cheeky grin as she said, “Had to wait for you to stop being stupid.” His response was swept away on a sharp intake of breath as she lifted up and dropped back down again.

Ben grabbed her hips again, guiding her movements and thrusting up into her as she leaned over him, kissing him messily, a line of saliva stretching between them when she pulled back to breathe. He shifted somehow, sliding forward in the seat to change the angle. It couldn’t be comfortable for him, but it certainly worked for her, and she whimpered as he lifted her up and slammed her back down, over and over and it was so much more than she had ever imagined, better than anyone else had ever been. Because it was Ben. Her Ben.

The sounds escaping her lips grew louder, more desperate, animalistic. “That’s my girl,” he said, word punctuated by a grunt and an upward thrust of his hips as he pistoned into her. “You can do it.” Another groan (although she wasn’t sure if that was her, Ben, or the car). “Come for me, Rey,” he added, and she knew she was going to, even if he didn’t—oh! One of his hands slid over, thumb pressing circles over and around her clit as if he just knew exactly what she needed. She gasped, hands on his shoulders as she leaned forward just a bit more, whimpering as she chased what promised to be the most intense orgasm of her life and suddenly, almost as if it crept up and surprised her, she caught it.

She sobbed his name, whimpered and cried into his neck as her entire body lit up, muscles seizing and vision whiting out as she continued to clench and release around him. Dimly she felt him grab her hips again, lift and lower her at a furious pace while she remained boneless, helpless to assist him, and finally heard him groan her name and mutter something under his breath as he pulsed inside her, setting off an aftershock that had them both gasping again.

She must have dozed off (or possibly passed out) as he whispered sweet words and peppered her face with kisses, because the next thing she knew he was buckling her into the front passenger seat, dress back in place and his jacket wrapped around her. “Go back to sleep, Ellie Bee,” he whispered, “I’ve got you.” She hummed her assent and yawned as he rounded the vehicle and got into the driver’s seat. There were voices—Trudgen and Vicrul, she thought—then the sound of a motorcycle engine as Ben closed his door and started the engine.

They had things to do, things to deal with, and there was no way they were safe yet, but for the moment she felt it anyway. “Ben?” she whispered, still softly balanced on the edge of sleep.

“Hm?”

“Don’t leave me, okay?”

He took her hand, raised it and pressed his lips to her knuckles before answering, “Never again. You’re stuck with me now.”

She smiled and let sleep tug her under.

Chapter Text

Rey woke up before Mama Maz or Bazine and crept into the kitchen. She wasn’t allowed to use the stove, but the microwave and toaster were okay, Mama said. Rey thought it was silly. She’d been cooking at the stove (well, boiling water for ramen, anyway) when she was five, and she couldn’t even see the burners then.

Still, she liked that she didn’t have to, that she would have something she could eat and Baz would take care of her and Mama would take care of them both.

But it was the first day of school, and that boy—Ben Solo—he said he would come and drive them to school even though it was only a couple of blocks and they had just planned to walk, so Rey was up early, and she wanted to make breakfast. She opened the freezer and looked in, stretching up on her toes to see the back of the top shelf. Aha! There. She reached in and pulled out the boxes she wanted, remembering how amazed she had been to find out they even existed.

The microwave beeped as Mama walked into the kitchen. Rey ran over and hugged her, leaving the microwave open in her haste. Mama laughed and hugged back and kissed her on both cheeks and the top of her head. “Good morning, my baby Rey! You certainly woke up early.”

Rey hugged her one more time and leaned back, grinning at Mama Maz. “I made breakfast!” Rey chirped proudly.

“So I see!” Mama laughed and kissed her again. “My sweet girl. What are we having?” Rey pointed to the table, set with three plates, glasses, and a mug for Mama’s coffee that she’d set the coffee pot to make before she got up. Each place had a stack of microwave pancakes, a glass of milk, and in the center of the table was a bowl of mixed berries they had washed and prepared the night before, capping and slicing strawberries and making sure there were no stems in the blueberries (or bugs in the blackberries and raspberries).

Bazine stumbled into the kitchen with a yawn as Mama poured her coffee. “Good morning, my princess,” she called over her shoulder. “Your sister made breakfast.” Baz blinked and offered what Rey called her morning smile—a tightening of her lips as she squinted to try and focus her vision. Bazine sat at the table and took a sip of her milk, managing something more real smile-like across the table at Rey and reaching for the spoon in the berries. They both gasped when Mama came to the table with her coffee and a can of whipped cream which she plopped into the middle of the table beside the fruit. “It’s a special day,” Mama insisted, grinning as she sprayed some on her own pancakes and into her coffee as well.

Rey was tying her shoes when the knock came at the door. “Ben’s here! I’ll get it!” she shouted, scurrying to the door with only one shoe tied and flinging it open before Mama could even stand up or Bazine could get back downstairs. She could hear them laughing at her but she didn’t care. It was so exciting. New school, new friends, Ben…and the extra sugar in her system from the syrup and whipped cream probably didn’t help.

“Good morning, Lil—uh, Rey,” Ben said and smiled when she opened the door for him. “You really shouldn’t open the door by yourself, what if it had been some creepy stranger?”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Instead of creepy you?” He laughed and stepped inside. “I could see you through the window, weirdo,” she said. “I’m not some dumb baby, I know not to open the door for a stranger.”

“Baby Rey, don’t you be rude, now,” Mama said as she walked up to Ben and he bent down so she could kiss his cheek.

“She’s not wrong,” Ben insisted, “She’s nine, not three, I shouldn’t have implied she didn’t know better.”

Mama clucked her tongue and rolled her eyes and pretended to punch him in the arm. Bazine came down the stairs, hair bouncing in a high ponytail. “Ready!” she called.

“Where’s your camera, Maz?” Ben asked.

“I have no earthly idea, boy.”

He shook his head and grinned. “Good thing I brought mine, then,” he said, lifting up a bag larger than Rey’s backpack. He herded them all outside, snapping several pictures on the porch and in front of the prettiest rose bush, then more by the azaleas and finally between the lilacs. Pictures of all three of them, of each girl with Maz, of Baz and Rey together, and individual shots of the sisters.

They had an appointment for their first family photos in another week, but Ben’s were better than any studio could do, and Mama canceled the appointment as soon as he handed her the stack of prints after school that day.

The whine of an engine.

A flash of silver.

Boots and blood and—PAUL!

Rey jerked awake with a cry and sat straight up, hand on her chest as if it might keep her heart from bursting out.

Two weeks since that night, two weeks since Paul’s murder and everything after. She glanced to her left as Ben shifted in the bed beside her, a frown on his face as his hand came to rest on the quickly cooling spot where she’d been curled beside him.

Sleep had been rare, restful sleep more so, since that night. For both of them, although despite his protests Rey suspected she was what kept waking Ben. She slipped from the bed and padded into the bathroom, setting the shower to his preferred temperature, which was slightly warmer than she could really handle. She was chilled to the bone, had been since that night, really.

She sighed and stepped into the spray, wincing as water hit her like a thousand hot needles pricking her skin. Eyes closed, she tipped her head back, wetting her hair as she remembered the early morning hours again.

Paul’s body, staring sightlessly into the clouds as the sky unleashed over them.

She reached for the shampoo—Ben’s shampoo, she liked his best.

Struggling to go BACK, as if she could do something.

She worked the lather through the strands, finger-combing the knots.

Ben’s arms and Hux’s voice.

She’d adjusted to the temperature by the time she rinsed her hair and stepped just out of the spray, squeezing out the excess water and grabbing the wide toothed comb on a hook, smoothing her hair before working the conditioner through and combing through her hair once more.

Stopping off to wash their hands and faces (and Rey’s legs) clean of Paul’s blood, and slipping into Ben’s jacket to hide the stains on her dress as he rolled up his sleeves and put on Hux’s tie. Thankfully, most of his shirt had been spared, as there would be no hiding bloodstains on the white fabric. The judge could be persuaded to help push through the necessary paperwork, but none of them believed he would overlook them showing up to his home at four in the morning covered in blood.

She dragged the razor over her legs robotically, hissing when she slipped up and nicked her knee.

Waking in Ben’s arms, as he carried her through the concrete tunnels and back to their prison cell of a bedroom. He didn’t stop until they were in the bathroom, and he eased her to her feet and reached in to adjust the water before quickly and methodically stripping them both and putting everything—even their shoes and the small handbag Rey had taken but left in the car most of the time—into a trash bag. “Incinerator,” he mumbled before urging her trembling form into the shower stall.

Rey rinsed her hair and studied the assortment of other products on the small shelf, plucking out a deep conditioning hair mask and working it through the ends of her hair.

Wincing and letting out her breath in a hiss at the water temperature. Ben frowned and adjusted it down a bit, pulling her into his arms and stepping forward under the spray as she stared up at him.

The shower gel she chose at random. There were an assortment of fruity scented ones just for her by now, each with matching lotions and creams in the medicine cabinet, not to mention complementary body sprays and expensive perfumes. She flipped the cap and squirted some onto a loofah. Raspberry, maybe. She shrugged and began scrubbing at her skin, maybe a bit harder than she should, as if she could wash away the worst of the memories and soak in the few good ones.

Whimpering and moaning and squirming against him as he pressed her against the tile. It had been cold on her back at first, but she paid little attention as she wrapped her arms and legs around him, clinging desperately to the only good, real thing she had left. He was slow, gentle, tender, whispering sweet words and kissing every patch of skin his lips could reach and this, this was how it should have been for them from the beginning.

Ben stepped into the bathroom, blinking against the harsh brightness of the overhead fluorescent lighting. He opened the glass door and stepped in behind her, wordlessly reaching for the loofah and kissing her shoulder before he washed her back and legs, tutting when he saw the small cut on her knee.

Ben kneeling before her under the spray, lifting one foot and then the other to wash her clean, the soap he’d chosen lightly scented with vanilla and peppermint. He kissed her thigh, her hip, the inside of her right wrist, then stood and turned her around to wash her hair.

She rinsed her hair and stepped back, watching as he reached for his own soap, eyes following the suds over his chest and arms. “Nightmares again?” She nodded silently. “Paul?” Another nod, and she turned away, plucking his shampoo off the shelf again to hand to him.

“Has…has there been any news?”

Ben shook his head. “No. Nothing public, nothing through our department sources.” She bit her lip and felt the tears. It wasn’t right, wasn’t fair. Paul had been involved with things he shouldn’t, just like the rest of them, but he deserved far better than a back-alley murder and no investigation.

She waited for Ben to finish his shower, leaning against the tile and absently watching as he made quick work of it. He shut off the water and grabbed a towel, drying her off and bundling her into a fluffy robe, handing over another towel for her hair before reaching for his own.

The cameras were still active in their rooms, but the microphones had been deactivated after the first week of Rey’s ‘apprenticeship’ when Snoke had decided he was pleased with her performance and her willingness to do the things he’d suggested in his office at Finalizer that night. They remained cautious though, not talking about the more sensitive topics just in case.

Ben made her sit and let him dry her hair (with a diffuser because they weren’t animals) and pulled it into a secure but not tight braid.

Rey sat on the edge of the bed, watching as he dressed in jeans and a t-shirt before shrugging into a soft flannel button up. He sat in a chair against the wall to tug on his boots—

A flash of silver. Boots and blood—

She closed her eyes and shook her head.

Boots. Something about the boots.

“Rey?”

She blinked and found Ben staring at her in concern.

“Ah, sorry, just tired.”

“You should try to get some more sleep.” She nodded absently, trying to figure out what it was about the boots. Ben crossed the room (well, took the two steps it required to move from the chair to the bedside) and leaned down, kissing the top of her head and brushing the back of his hand over her cheek. “I’ll have Vicrul bring Jannah to check on you. I don’t like leaving you alone like this.”

“Ben, I’ll be fine. You’re right, I need to try to sleep, and it isn’t like you won’t be back.”

“Can’t help it,” he shrugged. “You’re stuck with me, remember? That means I’m allowed to worry now.” She managed a weak smile. Snoke and the Knights (minus Vicrul) were heading to the safehouse that had mysteriously exploded the night of Paul’s murder. Rey had initially assumed Snoke was behind it, but his fury at the news had proved otherwise. As the property owner, he’d finally been able to get access after the fire investigation had been closed, a faulty gas line to the water heater cited as the cause.

Nothing made sense, and it was eating at her, the constant thought that they were all missing something—that she was missing some vital piece of information that was right there in front of her.

She shook her head again and padded to the closet as Ben left their rooms. She pawed through his side, digging to the back where the few items of casual clothing he still owned were hidden away and tugged out the only other faded flannel. She dropped the robe to the floor and tugged the shirt over her arms, closing the buttons and rolling back the sleeves before crawling into bed on Ben’s side and hugging his pillow to her as she breathed deeply and let her eyes flutter closed.

The main door opening woke her, and Rey sat up and blinked sleepily at the figure that appeared in the open bedroom doorway a few seconds later. “Shit! You were actually sleeping. I’m so sorry, I’ll go,” Jannah muttered.

“No, it’s fine, it’s good. I need to get up and eat something anyway.” Rey stretched actually feeling somewhat refreshed for once. “Please don’t go, I’ll be right out.” Jannah nodded still seeming a little doubtful but it wasn’t like she could actually leave anyway. Vicrul had locked them in and probably gone to get his own lunch or monitor the security feeds. At best it would be at least ten minutes before he could get back and unlock the door.

Rey still wasn’t sure what the story behind Jannah’s imprisonment was, but they still locked her in or kept her under guard even though Snoke had ordered that Rey could come and go within the compound. Rey threw on underwear, a camisole, and shorts before slipping back into the flannel and joining Jannah in the living room for a light lunch.

They managed to chat about the food, some of the books on the shelf in the corner, and what Rey should wear for the next formal dinner, but there weren’t many other topics they could discuss. Rey may be allowed to move from room to room without a guard now, but there was no denying they were both still Snoke’s prisoners.

“My sister will probably never walk again,” Rey said at one point, surprising them both, but she needed to get the words out, to tell someone other than Ben. Snoke hadn’t allowed Rey to actually communicate directly with Bazine, but surprisingly enough Hux had been permitted to pass messages along between them. Rey was sure Baz was furious (not to mention the rest of the department) but so far no one had been able to do anything about it.

Rey had seen pictures and video of work being done on the house, ramps and a lift installed for the wheelchair. Apparently, the stab wounds hadn’t been the only injuries Bazine sustained, but by the time anyone realized it there had been irreversible nerve damage from whatever else had happened.

They’d fallen quiet again, both Rey and Jannah staring blankly at their water glasses, when the lock clicked over and Ben stomped into the room. “We have a situation,” he muttered, going into the bedroom and coming back with a pair of canvas sneakers. He handed them to Rey. “Snoke wants you upstairs,” he muttered as she shoved her feet in them and tried to keep her breathing even.

He practically dragged her back out of the room, past Vicrul waiting by the door for Jannah, and toward the access for the warehouse level. “Ben, what the hell is going on? You weren’t supposed to be back for hours.”

“Yeah, well, your sister had other plans.”

“Wait, WHAT!”

“Yeah. She was waiting there—by herself—and refused to leave until we produced you. She seems to think Snoke had me murder you or something.”

The entered the main level and went through the door into the main warehouse, the one Rey hadn’t been in since the night she followed Ben from the hospital.

Rey stumbled as she stepped out and found Snoke standing with his feet apart and hands behind his back, flanked by Cardo and Kuruk. “Ah, my apprentice, there you are. You have a rather insistent caller.”

Rey looked from Snoke to her sister, calmly sitting in a wheelchair with Ushar standing guard to one side, toying with his favorite knife, the one with the fancy engraving on the blade.

A flash of silver. Boots and blood.

Boots.

She knew those boots.

Rey froze in terror as it hit her, the thing she’d been missing, the thing she’d seen numerous times already.

Ushar pulled out his knife, tracing the edge of the blade along his boots, a series of scratches and grooves worn into them where he did that when he was bored. His hand jerked and the knife flew end over end, up over his head and into his other hand, before he repeated the process from the opposite side.

Ushar killed Paul, and if her suspicions were correct, he was also the one who attacked Baz, and was responsible for her sister’s present condition, and (somewhat indirectly) Rey’s presence in the compound.

She swallowed hard, and took a few shaky steps, crossing the room to her sister.

“Satisfied, Detective Netal? As you can see, your sister is unharmed.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily go that far, Mr. Snoke,” Baz said, glaring at the man before turning her attention back to Rey. “And if she is, as you insist, here of her own free will because she chose to join you, then you won’t mind if she leaves with me.”

“Oh, I simply can’t allow that, we have much work to do. As I said earlier, she is in fact my apprentice, and will be taking over many of my responsibilities soon.”

“Then I suppose I’ll just have to stay here,” Baz said, not looking away from Rey and doubtless noticing when the younger Netal sister went impossibly pale and swayed on her feet, only stopped from falling by the arm that swept around her waist, tucking her into Ben’s side as he stepped up beside her. Bazine stared at them both but said nothing.

Rey trembled, eyes glued to Ushar as he shifted his stance, fingers actually grasping the hilt of that damn knife and just waiting for Snoke to give the order.

“Very well then, Detective, please make yourself at home, and join us for dinner tonight. We dine promptly at seven. Do see to it that you dress appropriately,” Snoke said, before gesturing to Ushar and leaving the room.

Ushar and Kuruk followed as Cardo crossed the room and grasped the handles on the wheelchair. “If I may, ma’am?”

Bazine shrugged. “Why not?”

And just like that, Rey AND her sister were Snoke’s semi-willing prisoners and things had progressed from bad, blown past all degrees of worse, and settled firmly in absolute worst thing that could happen territory.

Chapter Text

“One more,” Bazine said, producing a small box and handing it to Rey. “Merry Christmas, Rey-Mi,” she said.

“But we agreed, price limit and no more than three gifts each!” Rey protested.

Bazine shook her head and gave a little laugh. “Just open it, will you?”

“Okay!” Rey grinned and shifted excitedly, peeling the paper back at the tape, neatly opening each end, then glancing at her sister with a grin and absolutely shredding the gift wrap as she ripped it off in multiple pieces. That got a real laugh from both of them, something that had been in short supply for months. Rey lifted the lid off the box and looked at her sister in confusion at the fine, gold rope chain and no charm.

“This one should be harder to break,” Bazine said, and Rey gasped and looked away. “It’s okay, Rey, I’m not upset.”

Rey looked back up and felt tears gather in her eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she whispered.

“Baby Rey, it’s okay. I’m not mad, and yes you should have told me but…well, I should have asked you.” Baz paused, looked down into her coffee cup. “I knew about the locket, Rey, and I knew there was no way he wouldn’t make sure you got it for your birthday. Not as excited as he was about it.”

Rey stared at her sister, completely overwhelmed.

“He designed it, Rey, had it custom made specifically for you.”

“I don’t…” Rey shook her head and covered her mouth with one hand, giving in to the tears. She could see it, the truth there in her sister’s expression. Maybe it hadn’t exactly been the way Rey always wanted, but Ben Solo did love her. And he left anyway.

“It’s okay,” Baz said, moving closer and pulling Rey into her arms as they both cried.

Rey shook her head furiously. “It’s not! It’s not okay Baz! I’M not okay!” Bazine held her tighter, rocking a little bit. “Why did he leave me, Baz? Everybody leaves me.”

“Not everybody, Rey. I’m still here and I always will be. And—” She cut herself off, shook her head and kissed the top of her little sister’s head. “Fuck it…I won’t leave you, and I think, one day, Ben’s planning on coming back. Whatever happened…he wouldn’t have hurt you like this if there wasn’t a reason and for his sake it better be a damn good one.”

Rey managed a weak laugh at that. “Promise you’ll kick his ass for me?”

“Absolutely.”

“Now that’s the kind of Christmas present I need.” They laughed again, and it still hurt, but less so, because they had each other, and maybe her sister hadn’t completely given up on Ben after all.

When she went back to campus in January, the locket hung proudly from the new chain, and one more picture had been added, folded up and tucked in between the two Ben had chosen. The third one Bazine had taken, snapped the previous year when Rey demanded a Christmas hug from Ben and he complied, wrapping both of his arms around her and—though she hadn’t realized it at the time—lightly kissing the top of her head.

Cardo locked them in and left, and Bazine stared steadily at her sister and Ben, a troubling little smile on her face. Rey tensed at the look. Rey knew that smile, and it was never good. It was a blank mask, Bazine’s cop-face, and it usually meant she was furious and/or things were about to get ugly. Baz shifted and resettled in her chair, wincing a moment before her version of a blank expression fell back in place.

“So then, Solo…six years. Six years of ignoring everyone who ever cared about you, never even bothering to let us know if you were even alive unless we saw you on the news trailing after the slithering snake, and then you have the damn nerve to sneak into my hospital room and fucking kidnap my baby sister!”

Rey felt Ben flinch beside her and start to step away, but she grabbed his wrist and tugged, making it clear he better not move. “He didn’t kidnap me, Baz—”

Bazine’s glare focused on Rey. “Right, right, I saw the security footage. Knowing everything Gwen told you, my little sister did the stupidest thing she could and followed a fucking criminal home! After SIX YEARS. SIX FUCKING YEARS, REY! And you KNEW he stalked you in college, you KNEW he was into dangerous shit. Do you have ANY idea how scared I was? How scared we all were? Kaydel had to be sedated. Din got himself suspended. Rose still hasn’t gone back home and she’ll probably lose her job. Finn and Poe are camped out in our living room.” Baz shifted, voice breaking. “Rey-Mi, I thought you were DEAD, that any day they were going to come tell me they’d pulled you out of the river or found you in an alley somewhere.”

It was Ben’s turn to hold Rey in place, his arms the only thing keeping her from falling as her knees gave out at the underlying pain in her sister’s voice. Bazine was doing a good job of letting the anger mask it (and the anger was genuine, there was no doubt) but she was hurt.

Because of Rey.

“And here you are,” Bazine continued, “Your happy little ass playing house with Solo and working with fucking Snoke!”

The last part was hissed out between clenched teeth, and Rey had never been truly afraid of her sister’s anger until that moment.

“Baz, I—” she started, but shook her head and bit her lip, looking away for a moment and blinking furiously.

Bazine fell silent, lips pressed together in a hard line as she glared down at her lap. Rey shifted uncomfortably. Her sister didn’t know everything, didn’t know even half of it, and Rey wanted to tell her, to lay it all out and let her big sister come up with a plan and take care of saving them all.

But that wouldn’t happen. Not this time.

“If you’re looking for someone to blame, I’m right here,” Ben said.

Bazine’s head snapped up, eyes blazing. “I abso-fucking-lutely blame you, Solo. Oh, you better believe I do. I know you get most of the blame here. But Rey is an adult and she’s at fault too.” Rey could actually hear Bazine’s teeth grinding together as she looked away from them.

“Baz, please! You don’t understand—” Rey started, but her sister cut her off.

Bazine looked back at her, eyes swimming. “But I do, Rey. I really, really do. I know, okay? Remember that I know you’ve loved him since you were a kid, and it’s made you blind to who he really is, but I never thought you’d go this far, that you’d actually change sides for him, that you’d throw away everything—the life you’ve built for yourself and everyone who loves you—for money and dick and maybe a little power.”

Ben snorted and shifted, stepping half in front of Rey to loom over Bazine. “You aren’t wrong about me, Baz, but your sister…you know Rey’s not like that. You and I both know she followed me because she was pissed, and I think you know she stayed because Snoke wouldn’t let her leave.” He leaned down, hands coming to rest on the armrests of the wheelchair as his voice dropped to an angry whisper and he angled his head oddly, making Bazine’s attention waiver half a moment as her eyes darted up and then back to his. “And now you’ve done the exact same thing, marched yourself right into the monster’s lair and put everyone here in that much more danger.”

“And I’m supposed to just believe that coming from YOU of all people? A dirty cop who stole evidence, stalked my baby sister, and ran away rather than face how badly you hurt her and me and everyone who cared about you? And for what? Money?”

“God damn it, Bazine, you know me better than that!”

“I thought I did. Apparently not,” Baz muttered, crossing her arms and glaring back into Ben’s face.

“I deserve that, I earned that reaction from you, but Rey didn’t. Baz, I thought you—out of all the people I know—I thought you would be the one to figure out what was going on, why I did what I did, why I had to leave and join Snoke.” He shook his head and straightened up, turning away and pacing the room as he ran a hand through his hair.

Whatever he was going to say next, whatever thing Bazine was opening her mouth to spew back at him, whatever Rey hadn’t quite realized she was about to voice, all of it was interrupted by the click of the lock followed by the door swinging open and Trudgen stomping over to deposit a stack of dresses on the end of the couch. He looked at them all, tapped his wrist—specifically one of his tattoos—in a gesture Rey recognized, and then left them again without saying a word.

Dinner.

They had an hour until dinner.

Rey shook her head and looked at the dresses, wondering for a moment why Snoke hadn’t sent Jannah with them before turning her attention back to her sister and Ben. “Well, much as I’d love to keep having the same argument over and over again, we all need to clean up and change for dinner.” Bazine stared at her, somehow surprised at the bright tone and forced smile Rey managed. Ben just stormed into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. It was only a moment before Rey heard the bathroom door slam against its frame as well. “Guess he’s showering first,” she muttered, looking at her sister and wondering how they’d manage with the chair and the fact that Baz couldn’t exactly stand under the spray.

Somehow. They’d manage somehow.

Tense silence had reigned supreme as they got ready for dinner, and again when Cardo returned with Trudgen to escort them to the dining room.

Somehow, they managed to get through dinner unscathed, despite a few moments of concern when Bazine saw Jannah and hissed out a breath, clearly recognizing her. Trudgen had flicked his eyes down the table and back to Rey and Bazine, and then Ben leaned slightly forward and somehow Rey just knew it was to obstruct Snoke’s view (and maybe Ushar’s as well). Jannah’s eyes had widened in fear and both she and Vicrul gave almost imperceptible headshakes. Even Kuruk and Cardo seemed to be attempting to shield and distract from the moment, suddenly loudly arguing over the butter dish.

Rey stayed perfectly still as Bazine reached over under the table, taking her hand in a desperate grip and squeezing, eyes trained on her soup spoon.

Both sisters jumped slightly when Snoke called out from the head of the table, demanding Bazine’s attention. “And how have you found my hospitality, Detective Netal? Surely you see your sister is well cared for here.”

“I must admit, you seem prepared for every possibility, Mr. Snoke,” Bazine said, directing a cold smile his way. The man actually chuckled in delight at whatever private joke occurred to him. “Secure facility, resources, manpower,” Bazine continued, listing off the specific details that ensured they all realized how dire the situation was and could be. “It’s impressive,” Baz finished.

Ben’s hand landed on Rey’s right thigh, fingers trembling as he squeezed. Bazine still held Rey’s left hand under the table, but her grip had slackened. Rey fought to keep her own face blank and lifted another spoonful of soup as her sister and Snoke continued in their almost friendly chatting, one of them occasionally giving a nod as if to concede a point. Whatever game Baz and Snoke were playing, they seemed to be the only ones with a clue as to the rules.

Well, perhaps Ushar…Rey did not like the way he stayed intently focused on her sister. The man smirked at something Snoke said, at the same time Ben and Bazine each tightened their grips and Rey’s attention snapped back to Snoke as Bazine practically purred her response. “While that is a truly generous offer,” Bazine said, never looking away from Snoke, “I would much prefer to stay with my sister. I wouldn’t want to be in the way or impede on Ushar’s downtime after all.”

“Fair enough,” Snoke said, tomato soup trickling down his chin and a cloud of breadcrumbs spewing from his lips. “I applaud your sense of familial responsibility, despite lack of blood connection.” He slurped a final mouthful of soup before pushing the bowl away and reaching for his wine glass. “It’s the sort of bond I’ve always wanted for my knights,” he mused, eyes seeming a bit unfocused and that chilling smile he sometimes wore creeping over his scarred face. “Yes, I think so,” he said, seemingly to himself, then suddenly shifted his attention and began questioning Cardo about something to do with the bookkeeping for Finalizer.

Rey didn’t relax until they were back in ‘their’ rooms, and then only slightly.

“The two of you can have the bed,” Ben said without preamble. “I’ll go change and then probably read for a while,” he said, giving Bazine some kind of long look Rey didn’t quite understand.

“Sounds like a plan,” Baz said absently, confusing Rey when she added, “I think getting lost in a good book could be quite relaxing. Might I borrow one?”

Bazine hated reading as a leisure activity. Ben knew it, too. It was why Ben had been the one to help Rey when she struggled in literature and language arts classes through the years.

But when Baz asked, he just nodded and stalked over to the bookshelf, tracing one long finger over several leather-bound spines before glancing back at them over his shoulder, nodding, and selecting one. “This has always been a favorite,” he said, handing it over. Baz thanked him and tucked it into the chair beside her. Rey couldn’t be certain, but it didn’t look like the embossed cover even bore a title, just decorative scrollwork in gold leaf.

Rey had trouble sleeping, tossing and turning, jerking awake every time she started to drift off as the events of the day wove their way into her dreams.

“I fear we have no free habitable rooms at present, Detective,” Snoke said. “Ushar has generously offered a place in his, should you want it.”

Rey hadn’t processed the words at the time, but they had lodged themselves in her subconscious.

“I would much prefer to stay with my sister. I wouldn’t want to be in the way or impede on Ushar’s downtime after all.”

She let Bazine soothe her back to sleep, her sister still propped up in Ben’s spot, book open on her lap.

The font on the pages seemed strange, but Rey was too tired to look more closely. She fell asleep again, breath keeping time with a gentle scratch-scratch-swish from the other side of the bed, followed by the turn of a page.

The first time she woke to darkness, Rey turned onto her side, watching her sister sleep, Bazine’s expression one of mild pain and annoyance.

The second time, Bazine’s face was smooth and relaxed, and Rey slipped from the bed, unable to relax back into sleep herself. She needed Ben beside her. She padded into the living room, vaguely noticing Ben seemed to have another of the books from the set beside him on the coffee table as she leaned over and placed a hand on his shoulder. The couch was large but not quite long enough for him to fully stretch out, and he’d curled onto his side with his legs bent, a throw pillow tucked under his arm. He blinked at her touch, struggling to focus. “Can’t sleep?”

She shook her head and he shifted, letting the cushion fall and allowing her to curl into his arms. She settled against him and reached into the floor to retrieve the pillow, tucking it under her own head. She frowned at the object lying under it. Why was there a pencil in the floor?

Rey stayed tense and stiff, allowing no expression as Hux and Snoke stared at her. “Well, girl, what do you say? Can you bring him to heel?”

“Can anyone?” she replied, head tilted to one side. It was a risk, a gamble that may get her killed before she could even stand up, but she licked her lips once, steeled herself, and added, “It doesn’t seem you were able to, after all.”

Snoke’s right eyebrow twitched and he shifted and resettled himself in his chair. “No,” he said, “I suppose not. Although I admit, entrusting Kylo to Ushar’s care for the first weeks after he came to me was a mistake on my part. That one plays too rough, after all. Always breaks his toys, eventually.” Snoke stroked his chin in thought. “No, I should have used a gentler hand with Kylo.” He smiled a bit, eyes shining at something only he could see. “He could have been phenomenal, most powerful of them all…Kylo Ren, my masterpiece.” His mouth twisted in a frown, pulling at the scar tissue in his face and making it stand out more starkly than usual. “Perhaps it isn’t too late, though.” He stared at Rey, eyes burning with an almost religious fervor that chilled her to the core. “With proper training, perhaps you will be what he could not.”

She shivered and she knew he saw it, pleased with her reaction, her fear. “Yes,” he said, “It’s perfect, poetic even. Kira Palpatine, my apprentice, my perfect masterpiece.” He tilted his head, eyes going a little vacant again and his brow furrowed, almost as if concentrating on a voice only he could hear. “Master him, make him fully yours,” he said softly, “Keep him under control and all I have will one day be yours.” He straightened and stood, leaning forward to rest his hands on the desk and stare down at her. “But make no mistake, little pet, if you fail, it won’t be the two of you who pay the price.”

Hux cleared his throat, reminding the man he was there. Snoke shot him a look and turned his attention back to Rey. He didn’t have to voice the threat again. “I’m always watching,” he said. “Looking and listening. You will have no secrets from me.”

Vague threats aside, she had hope, and a list of tasks to get through with the help of the lawyer. Ben wasn’t going to like any of it, but she couldn’t really care if it meant he survived.

Whatever it takes. Just stay alive.

Sensing she’d been dismissed, Rey stood and followed Hux out of the office, stepping through the door with a polite nod when the man gestured for her to go first. She kept the elevator key clutched tightly in her fist as Snoke picked up the desk phone and notified club security that she was his new favorite, his apprentice.

The door clicked shut behind her as he called and ordered whoever was on the other end to have Paul—Ap’lek— ‘retrieve the car for Ms. Palpatine.’

Crazy bastard was actually calling her Kira Palpatine. To other people. She took a deep breath. She could do this. She would do this.

Ben was pacing the small lobby when she exited the office, shaken but determined. Hux followed her out and he and Ben glared at one another for a moment. Rey just shook her head and stomped to the elevator before turning back and glaring at them all—Ben, Hux, Trudgen, and Vicrul.

Just because she could do this didn’t mean she wanted to.

She glanced at Ben.

Well, maybe she wanted part of it. To keep him safe, she’d do what Snoke asked of her. It wouldn’t exactly be a bad thing, claiming him for her own. Some part of her had done that years ago. Now she just had to make it official. The trick might be getting him to agree.

Chapter Text

Rey shivered and huddled into the scratchy, woolen blanket and wondered why they didn’t have the weird, silver “space blankets” instead. Surely these took up more room and couldn’t possibly be as sanitary. She blinked blearily at the activity around her, watching as men and women in various uniforms scurried past, bustling back and forth. Firefighters from both the volunteer and official city departments, city police, county sheriff’s deputies, state police, federal and state investigators, all being occasionally herded out of the way by EMTs and paramedics as they assessed one or more of the survivors.

There were bystanders as well, and local news vans, all being kept at bay by uniformed patrol officers. One of the feds was arguing with two people in plainclothes (one state and one local, she thought) again, about jurisdiction and procedure and existing investigations.

She sighed and leaned against her sister’s wheelchair.

The argument over jurisdiction and the fact her sister was an injured detective (not to mention that Rey, Bazine, and Jannah were all being called kidnapping victims) were the only reasons they hadn’t all been questioned or at least separated and locked into different squad cars yet. She blinked and looked up when someone handed her a cup of steaming liquid, and one to Bazine as well, before folding himself down onto the curb beside Rey. She smiled at Ben. “Thanks,” she said, leaning the opposite direction to rest her head against his shoulder as she lifted the cup and breathed in the steam.

No one seemed to be more confused than Ben about why he, at least, wasn’t in handcuffs yet. After all, he’d been found standing over one of the bodies, with a weapon in hand.

Rey yawned and sipped at the hot chocolate, lips curling in a smile that he’d brought her cocoa instead of coffee from…wherever he’d managed to get it.

A familiar voice broke through the low hum that all the sounds had become to her, and she looked up to see Hux following the fed, a state investigator, and the chief of police toward them. Apparently, they’d settled their argument enough for now.

They focused on Rey, and she handed her cup to Ben and sat up straight.

“Miss Netal,” the fed started.

“Ms. Palpatine,” the state investigator said, glaring at the fed from under the brim of the cap she had over sleek, blonde hair.

“Stop! As the only legal representation currently available for Mr. and Mrs. Ren,” Hux hurriedly bit off, “I am advising my clients not to—”

“It’s Solo, actually,” Rey said calmly, silencing all of them. “As of around two weeks ago—well, technically I suppose it would be three now—my full, legal name is Mrs. Kira Rey Netal Palpatine-Solo. I understand that is quite a lot, and you may call me Mrs. Solo, or Mrs. Ren, or some other combination, but you will each do so respectfully.”

They stared, not managing to hide their shock, as Baz snorted with laughter. “Oh, if you could only see all of your faces!” Baz said, leaning forward as she wiped at tears and attempted to catch her breath.

The Chief of Police studied them all carefully. “Fine then, Mrs. Solo, if all of you would kindly come with us, Mr. Hux has informed us that he has taken the liberty of contacting appropriate representation for a criminal investigation to meet us at the—”

“Oh, that won’t be necessary,” Rey said, watching Ben stand and taking the hand he extended to help her up as well. “As I told the first officers to arrive on the scene, I killed Mr. Snoke, as well as the man he called Ushar Ren. They conspired to murder my college boyfriend, Ushar murdered Kuruk—sorry, I don’t know his real name either—were attempting to harm my sister and my husband and had made abundantly clear that they intended to be rid of Jannah and me next.” She removed the scratchy blanket from around her shoulders and began folding it. “Now, it’s rather late, I am a bit chilled, and my feet hurt, so if you’d kindly go on and arrest me, I’d appreciate it.” She held out her hands, offering her wrists, as the various investigators shuffled uncomfortably, all wanting control of the case but none of them wanting to be the one to cuff a kidnapping victim in front of the media.

Rey woke curled around Ben’s pillow, blankets tucked firmly around her in the center of their bed, with the vaguest memory of low whispers and the sensation of floating. Ben must have carried her to bed when Baz got up. Rey blinked and slowly uncurled herself, wincing as the act of stretching her limbs made her calves twinge. She flexed her feet a few times and gingerly stretched her legs again before sitting up and pushing her hair out of her face. It was quiet enough she could hear the low hum of the lights and the swish of forced air circulating through the duct work.

She stumbled to the doorway, squinting into the low light of the empty living room and blinking a few times before she was completely sure her suspicions were correct—she was alone. The realization sent a surge of fear-fed adrenaline through her and she grabbed whatever clothes were closest at hand and hurried to the bathroom. She hissed a curse at the icy blast of water in the shower and grabbed blindly for the nearest body wash, scrubbing roughly at her skin and shutting the water off before it had even truly heated up to a comfortable temperature.

Rey watched and waited, the music and voices and thuds of solid objects against supple flesh all just white noise to her. He’d chosen simple for the night—just a paddle and his own belt. It wasn’t like she minded; he was magic with whatever implement he chose.

Where were Ben and Bazine?

He gestured and Rey stepped forward, hands out in front of her, palms down. She’d be tied, wrists together and over her head, as usual. After securing her wrists he tugged once, waited for her nod, then tapped on his wrist, directing her attention to a specific swirl of ink. Various gestures and sections of the ornate artwork adorning his skin had different meanings. A shorthand of sorts, known only to him and those he wished to share in that knowledge. A secret language.

Had they left on their own or been taken?

That particular gesture on that one spot told her quite clearly: You’re being watched.

She didn’t know who, and had learned there was no point in asking, because he wouldn’t tell her, but someone was specifically watching her that night, probably from the upper level where no mere club member was allowed. She knew who she wanted it to be, but she’d given up on that long ago as well. It had been four years since she’d had any hope of Ben Solo watching her, four and a half years since he cornered her in the library and told her goodbye. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, refusing to let her thoughts follow that path.

She cursed again when she realized she hadn’t bothered to check whether she was locked in. She should have done that, at least. She glared at the camera overhead as she shrugged into a t-shirt and leggings, tugged her wet hair up into a messy bun and shoved her feet into the sneakers she’d worn the previous afternoon.

Opening her eyes and straightening her spine, Rey nodded her understanding and he grabbed her by the hair, using the high ponytail to drag her along to the corner he’d claimed as his own. Just that much, the confident, firm grip on her hair, had her relaxing into the night. She sighed happily and slowed her steps, eyes fluttering at the resulting firm tug against her scalp.

Her hand trembled as she reached for the door, sighing in relief and feeling almost light-headed when she was able to open it. That was a positive sign, it had to be. If she wasn’t locked in then Ben and Bazine were probably okay, and likely did leave the room of their own will and under their own power.

Let them watch. They couldn’t have her. That was part of the fun.

She made it approximately four steps before she heard them coming, the low rumble of Ben’s voice and Bazine’s laughter echoing of the concrete walls. She paused, watching expectantly as they rounded the corner, Ben pushing the wheelchair while Baz held what appeared to be plastic bags loaded down with take out boxes on her lap. Ben smiled when he caught sight of her and Rey cocked her head to one side, unspoken questions clear on her face.

“Morning, sleepy,” Baz called. “You growled and threatened to bite Ben when he tried to wake you.” Rey felt a rush of warmth up her neck and over her face.

“I haven’t been sleeping well lately,” she muttered as they came even with her and she turned to follow them back into the living room.

“Understatement,” Ben muttered as he moved to the kitchenette and pulled down plates, mugs, and glasses. He had a thing about plating his food, a holdover from ‘too much shitty takeout’ when he was still a cop. Rey thought it was ridiculous but didn’t argue so long as he washed the dishes he used. “Cardo made a food run,” he called over his shoulder. “The diner the two of you always go to.” Rey looked at Baz, but her sister’s expression gave nothing away.  Ben carried the plates to the table and began dishing out the food, loading each plate down with the same amounts of everything, and Rey felt a burst of affection for him at that. He’d always been the one to make sure she and Baz were fed, and never gave Rey a hard time for her appetite, nor for not cleaning her plate if she was already full. The concept and sensation of enough had been a hard one for Rey to learn after her early childhood.

She shook her head and smiled at him.

“So, Rey, when were you planning to tell me the two of you got married?”

Rey inhaled the orange juice she was drinking, sputtering and coughing at the suddenness of her sister’s question.

Baz leaned to the side and calmly dabbed at her sleeve with a paper napkin as she continued. “I mean, I know it’s been difficult, only being able to send messages back and forth through Rose’s boyfriend—”

Rey wheezed and stared at her sister. “Who? What? Who? Are you saying Rose and Hux…”

“Oh, right, you wouldn’t have known since you ran away from my fucking hospital room to chase this asshole,” her sister hissed, gesturing at Ben as he calmly mopped juice off the small table and handed Bazine a plate and fork.

Rey glanced at Ben. “You knew this?”

She saw the momentary fear flit through his expression as he straightened and ran a hand through his hair. “Ah, only this morning, when Baz told me. Makes sense though, and it explains why he’s tried to help when he could.” He shoveled in a forkful off eggs and crunched a bite of his toast. “Still think she could do better,” he mumbled before taking another bite.

Rey sighed and bit her lip as if the physical reminder might help her hold back the words that wanted to spill forth. She took a bite of her own toast and caught Ben’s eye, following a hunch and idly tapping her wrist once then stroking her forefinger down the back of her hand. He nodded, tapped his thumb against the tabletop twice, and the lights flickered.

“Fuck, that’s useful,” he muttered as the beeps sounded to signify the surveillance systems were rebooting. “Whatever Snoke has planned, he’s going to make his move soon,” Ben said.

“Ushar killed Paul, and I’m pretty sure he’s the one who attacked Baz,” Rey hissed at the same time.

“Judge Canady had a massive heart attack and died a few hours after he signed off on your marriage certificate. We’re pretty sure someone poisoned him, and they pulled Paul out of the river that night,” Baz said. “I have no idea how we’ve kept it quiet so long.”

They stared at each other as the systems came back online, eating robotically.

“Oh hey, I have this, thought you might want it, all things considered,” Bazine said, putting her fork down on a napkin and reaching under the collar of her shirt. She tugged at something and produced Rey’s locket, still on the gold chain she’d bought that Christmas. Bazine reached back under her hair to unhook it before handing it over to her sister. Ben intercepted it, eyes wide as he looked from Bazine to Rey and then down to the locket, absently stroking his thumb over the surface.

“Turn around,” he said, voice hoarse with some tangle of emotions. Rey did, and felt the familiar weight of the locket settle on her chest, the metal warm from Bazine’s skin and Ben’s touch. She thought his hands were trembling as he secured the clasp and stroked his thumbs over the back of her neck and shoulders.

“I would have given you my blessing, you know,” Baz said, staring intently at her toast as she spread blackberry jam over the buttered surface. Ben looked at her in confusion and a hint of something like fear. “You didn’t have to leave,” Bazine continued, never looking up. “She was legally an adult.”

Rey coughed on the final crumbs of her own toast and gaped at her sister as Ben shifted uncomfortably beside her.

“It wasn’t like that and you know it,” he said tightly, hands curled into fists on the tabletop.

Bazine did look up then, eyes narrowed in thought. “Only because you hadn’t realized it yet.”

Ben pushed his chair back angrily and stomped towards the bedroom, muttering that he’d get the dishes later. Rey heard the bathroom door slam shut and what sounded like the chair from the vanity being dragged over.

“Well, that’s rude. What if I needed to pee?” Baz muttered as she took a bite of her toast then winced and mumbled about hating blackberry jam before passing the toast to her sister. Rey stared at it there on her plate, struggling to swallow the last bite of her eggs, suddenly feeling like she had a mouthful of rubber and sawdust.

Rey was still picking idly at her plate, appetite gone completely, when Bazine pushed herself over to the bookshelf and came back with the book Ben had loaned her the previous night. She dropped it onto the table with a thud. “You haven’t been sleeping,” Baz mumbled, “You should try reading to relax and see if you can get a nap in, that always used to help you.” Something in her tone was off and Rey studied her sister’s face for a moment before nodding and carrying the book into the bedroom. She could hear water running and wondered how much longer she should give Ben. One chapter, maybe, depending on how many pages that might be.

She opened the cover, confused at the blank pages in the beginning, and she flipped to the middle, gasping as she realized the strange font she’d noticed the night before wasn’t a font at all—it was handwriting, mostly Ben’s, but with notes scribbled here and there in her sister’s spiky scrawl. She stood, three steps toward the door and intent on checking the rest of the books with matching covers, before remembering the cameras and microphones and dropping weakly back onto the bed.

She flipped through at random, stopping when she saw her own name. She flipped back one page, noting where the ink changed colors and starting there. It wasn’t exactly a journal entry, but it was more personal than case notes. She shivered and felt sick as she read the words, tears flowing in a way they hadn’t in a very long time as she finally understood at least some of what had been happening around her for years.

She didn’t hear the bathroom door open, only vaguely registered the smell of Ben’s soap and shampoo on the cloud of steam that rolled out ahead of him.

“Rey? What are you—oh, fuck! I can explain, please let me…”

She looked up at him and dropped the book onto the floor, scrambling across the bed to launch herself at him. He seemed to be braced for an attack and didn’t immediately react when she practically climbed up his body and locked her arms and legs around him. She kissed his chin, his cheeks, his nose, and finally his mouth, terrified he wouldn’t kiss her back but he did and for a moment it was enough to keep the old anger at bay.

He made a sound low in his throat and she shifted, tightening her hold as she felt him move, collapsing on the bed as his knees gave out. He tried to move, tried to shift away, and she lost the battle with herself, biting at his lower lip as she hooked her fingers to dig into his shoulders, scratching through the thin shirt he’d pulled on.

“You shouldn’t have left me,” she hissed. “Things could have been so different.” She darted up and bit his chin, raked her nails over his shoulders and down his arms. “You should have at least trusted us, me and Baz.”

“I did trust Baz, trusted she would keep you safe without me. You were just a kid,” he hissed back, catching her hand as it came up to swat at him.

“I was never ‘just a kid’ Ben, you of all people know that.”

He held her wrists together, stretching her arms over her head, used his legs to pin her lower body. “Maybe not,” he growled at her, “But you were still too innocent for the shit Snoke was trying to pull.”

“So that was it? You just traded yourself for me? Without discussing it with anyone?”

“YES!” he snapped, his own anger blazing up to meet hers. “I was already in too deep, there was no way out without risking you, and I love you too much to ever let him have you!” He froze, eyes wide in shock as if he still hadn’t realized it even after all this time, all the things he’d done to protect her, as if not even agreeing to marry her had made him consciously admit it. He released his hold on her and eased back slowly, crawling backwards down the bed and shaking his head back and forth.

Love. He’d said love, present tense.

She didn’t let him get far, rolling up onto her knees and crawling after him.

Ben just stared, frozen like a prey animal that had suddenly realized something much larger was about to pounce and he didn’t have time to get away. “You’re an utter idiot, Ben Solo,” Rey growled, pushing down the hand covering his mouth so she could nip at his lip and kiss him again. “But like you said in your vows, I’m stuck with you now.” He didn’t kiss her back, but he didn’t pull away, either. “Say something,” she whispered. “Anything.”

“Snoke was right all along, I really am a monster,” he whispered, trying to turn away, but Rey wouldn’t let him.

“My monster,” she whispered. “Always mine.”

He pushed her hands down when she tried to touch his face, sliding to the very edge of the mattress and finally succeeding in turning away, only because she was worried he’d fall and not be able to keep himself from serious injury in his present state. Rey caught a flicker of movement in the doorway, and looked up in time to see Baz offer a sad smile and pull the door closed.

It took a while, but Rey managed to convince Ben to lie down and let her hold him. In any other circumstance, it would have been funny, Rey being the big spoon, but she was genuinely worried something crucial was irreparably broken in him.

Rey pressed her forehead into Ben’s back, tightened her arms until they ached, and waited, hoping and perhaps praying to any higher power that might be listening that she and Bazine could make him see Snoke had been lying, manipulating and gaslighting Ben into believing it was only a matter of time, convincing him that his feelings toward Rey had never been innocent.

Ben had left thinking he was protecting her, cut himself out of her life completely, and left the opening Snoke needed.

Rey pressed her lips to Ben’s left shoulder blade in a silent promise that Snoke wouldn’t get away with hurting them—hurting him—again.

The man truly believed she was Kira Palpatine?

Fine, starting now, she really would be.

Shifting to a more comfortable hold on her husband, Rey closed her eyes and gave in to sleep.

Chapter Text

She was going to break soon. She could feel it coming, and it seemed the investigators could sense it, could almost see the cracks in her. Rey sighed and rubbed at tired eyes again.

Three days, so far, of questions and demands and insinuations, broken up only by disputes among the various agencies and on two occasions an argument between three different attorneys who each claimed they had been hired to represent Mrs. Rey Palpatine-Solo. One of them was the man Hux had called in, and Rey certainly had no issue with his abilities, but he seemed a little…oily? Of course, he was the top defense attorney in the state so it made sense. The second, a woman who introduced herself as Amilyn Holdo, apparently knew Ben…and his parents. Despite the reluctance on his part, it was eventually determined that if Rey wasn’t going to accept her services, then she would represent Ben, whether he liked it or not. The third Rey vaguely recognized from somewhere, but she couldn’t quite place him until one of the detectives muttered something about Sheev Palpatine’s lapdog being the last thing they needed.

Of course. Enric Pryde, the man responsible for deflecting any and all accusations ever leveled at her supposed grandfather.

Rey had no idea what game Pryde was playing, but he hadn’t done a thing to poke holes in their story, even going to far as to act as Bazine’s legal representation, actively refer to Palpatine as Rey’s grandfather, and offer his services “in an advisory capacity” to anyone else who might require legal assistance in relation to the case.

Rey couldn’t do this much longer, and as the door opened to admit Mr. Pryde and Palpatine himself, she started to tremble.

This was it.

Everything was over now.

If they were incredibly lucky, everyone who had been in that room when Snoke died would all spend the rest of their lives in jail.

Palpatine pulled out a chair and sat down across from her, smiling like the cat who caught the canary and was still toying with it before the killing blow. He glanced past Rey and nodded and Pryde muttered something in return about privacy.

The old man across the table studied her for a long moment, that same smile on his face, eyes sparkling with some secret mirth. “Well, you certainly look a great deal like my Kira, but we both know you aren’t her,” he said.

Rey swallowed hard and shifted in the hard chair, the chain on the handcuffs rattling against the table (so she’d maybe had one bad moment when someone implied Ben had maybe been inappropriate with her as a kid—it wasn’t like the stapler she threw actually hit anyone).

“Because she died in the plane crash,” Rey said softly, eyes watering because now she wouldn’t be able to save Ben, or Bazine, or even Trudgen.

“Certainly not!” the man said. “Kira never boarded that flight. She was in her bed, in my home, when my idiot son and his wife took off for a weekend in Switzerland. My granddaughter is very much alive and quite happy with the life she leads, and you, my dear, are going to help me keep it that way.” Rey shivered at the glee in his expression.

Whatever he wanted from her, she absolutely did not want to give it to him.

Unfortunately, she didn’t think she was going to get a choice.

Ben was better, after some sleep, still too quiet and with a new wariness in his eyes. It was heartbreaking to see. He refused to talk about it, any of it, and at first Rey allowed it and Bazine followed her lead.

But after almost two days, Trudgen took it upon himself to intervene, flinging open the door and stomping into the center of the living room, the clomp of his boots somehow echoing even as he crossed the rug.

“You! Sit. Right there.” It took a moment for Rey to register that he wasn’t speaking to her. Ben just shook his head and moved from where he’d been sitting at the small table and slumped onto the middle of the sofa without protest. Trudgen ran a hand over his face and looked at Rey, beckoning and pointing to space to Ben’s right. She obeyed instantly, halfway there before she even had time to think about it. “You two,” Trudgen growled, pointing at them in turn, “Are a fucking disaster of a mess.”

“You say that as if I don’t already know it,” Ben mumbled. Trudgen was fast, almost too fast to see, as he reached out and grabbed a fistful of Ben’s hair and jerked his head back, stepping in close and cupping Ben’s jaw with his other hand.

“Did I say you could speak?” Rey trembled and stared with wide eyes. Ben didn’t respond, but then he didn’t have to. “We are close—so fucking close—to getting out of this, and you have to go and break now.” He released Ben’s hair and shifted his other hand, shoving her husband back by the face, and she watched in fascination as something changed in Ben. He sat up straight, spine rigid, rolled his neck and shoulders, and repositioned his feet. His arms came to rest over the back of the couch and he glared at the other man. “Better,” Trudgen said with a nod. “It’s not a permanent fix, more a patch job,” he muttered almost to himself, then shook his head and turned his attention to Rey for a moment, taking in the fine tremors in her limbs, the slightly parted lips, and sighed. “You’re not doing either of you any favors by fucking neglecting her needs—not to mention yours.” Ben’s arms flexed, and she didn’t need to look to know his hands were curled into tight fists. “The security systems are down for repairs and upgrades. Snoke won’t be back for at least four hours. I suggest you make use of the time.”

He didn’t say anything else, just grabbed the handles of Bazine’s wheelchair and pushed Rey’s uncharacteristically quiet sister to the door. He paused there, turning back once, and tracing a swirl of red ink on his forearm with three fingers.

Rey didn’t recognize that gesture, but Ben apparently did, and he nodded once, jaw set.

“Four hours,” Trudgen said again. “Be ready,” and then he and Bazine were gone and the door clanged shut with a decisive thud.

Rey looked from the door to Ben, question on the top of her tongue, but he was on her before she could speak. Not that she didn’t appreciate the change as Ben pawed at her clothes and kissed her like he was trying to consume her, but it was worryingly abrupt. She tried to protest, but she just couldn’t.

Because Trudgen was right.

There were things she needed.

She needed the spice of a little pain in her pleasure, the relief of letting someone else decide things for a while, and the glorious release of just…not having to think sometimes because most days her brain just never shut off.

And she needed Ben to be the one to give her that.

Maybe she always had.

So, when he hauled her off the couch and carried her into the bedroom, she shoved aside all her worries and concerns. They would all still be there after. She yelped when he tossed her to the center of the bed, her body bouncing lightly twice as he stood back and just watched her.

When he whipped his shirt over his head and kicked out of his jeans, she stared in appreciation.

And when he started to climb onto the bed with her, she held up one hand to stop him. “Tie my hands, Ben. Please.”

That got a smile from him, hungry and dark enough to make her shiver. “Strip,” he ordered, turning to the closet and coming back with one of his silk ties and something else she couldn’t quite see as she scrambled to tug at her tee shirt and yoga pants. She hadn’t bothered with a bra, and he reached out and stopped her before she could wiggle out of the panties she’d grabbed at random, pressing a hand on her abdomen and firmly holding her in place. “I’ll get those,” he said, and she shivered and nodded. “Hands,” he said gruffly, and she held them out obediently, breath picking up as he wound the fabric around and between her wrists before tying it off. “Not too tight?” She shook her head. “Words, Rey, use them.”

“N-no, Sir, not too tight.” He closed his eyes a moment at her words. “Didn’t think I’d like that this much. Still not sure that’s the name I want, though, since you called HIM that, too,” he said, and she shivered at his tone. “We’ll talk about it,” he added, “Later though,” and then he grabbed her bound wrists and pinned them to the mattress above her head. “Don’t. Move.” he said, straddling her and sliding his hands back down her arms to cover her breasts. That was all, just the weight if his hands, no movement, no massaging or pinching, and she tried, she really did, but she couldn’t help squirming a bit, pressing up into his touch.

Ben pulled his hands away and glared down at her. “I said, don’t move.”

“I’m sorry, S—,” he scowled, and she stopped herself before she finished the word. “Ah, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not sure I believe you,” he said, moving away to stretch out beside her, head propped on one hand as he studied her. She shivered, skin almost crawling with the need to be touched. Rough or gentle didn’t even matter, just contact. She closed her eyes and swallowed, focusing on slowing her breathing, on holding completely still. She sensed movement and her eyes fluttered open as one fingertip hovered over her and slowly descended, tracing a line down her forehead, over her nose, across pursed lips and a tongue that darted out quickly but still to slow to catch him. He chuckled as he continued the path over her chin, added pressure urging her head back and tracing over her throat and down her breastbone. She sighed and her eyes fluttered shut but the touch stopped. She blinked, unable to hold back the whine that escaped her lips, and he resumed his path, down over her stomach to her navel, before the rest of his hand came down and splayed out across her, warm and firm and deliciously heavy.  

She felt the bed shift, the heat of his body as he shifted closer, and practically purred at the first press of his teeth against her shoulder, then again just a little to the side, over and over with each light bite moving closer to her neck, then up and over her jaw, the fingers of that one hand making light, intricate swirls over her stomach, her hips, her thighs, up and down and avoiding the parts of her most desperate for his attention.

“Ben, please!”

“Hm, I like when you beg,” he said, “But it also makes me think you don’t trust me. Don’t you trust me, Rey?” His lips brushed against her ear, as he breathed the words against her cheek and that hand slid down again, stopping just shy of the apex of her thighs.

“I—yes, I do—always! Please just—”

“Ah, ah, ah,” he whispered, hand just suddenly gone again. “Who said you get to give me orders?” She closed her eyes again, frustrated tears threatening to slip out.

Ben noticed, because of course he did. “Hey, now, talk to me, Rey.” She felt the shifting as he moved close enough to press against her, rolled her onto her side and into his arms. “Do you want to stop?” She shook her head, refusing to look at him. “Rey?”

She took a shaky breath. “It’s…it’s just all so much.”

“I think that’s kind of the point.”

She did open her eyes then, pulling back just enough to look at him. “No, not like that. I mean…I just…I never thought we could ever have this. That you would ever…” she trailed off and tucked her head under his chin, words muffled against the warmth of his neck as she continued.

“Rey, Sweetheart, I can’t understand you.”

She pulled back and swiped angrily at her wet eyes. “I said, I didn’t think you’d ever even kiss me again, after that day in the library, and now we’re married and there’s Snoke, and Ushar, and we’re prisoners and…and even with all of that, the only thing I want right now is for you to spank me and pull my hair and fuck me into the mattress and to just not think about any of the rest of it, at least for a little while.” She paused and took a breath. “And I know it’s probably all too much, and I should be happy with the gentle touches and the teasing but I just need to shut down for a while. And it’s not exactly the best time.”

“Rey, it might be the only time, and I’m maybe being a little selfish and wanting to savor the time we have.”

She blinked at him, genuinely confused. “What do you mean? Why?”

Ben sat up slowly and ran a hand through his hair, some kind of internal debate raging as he looked at her. “Can’t tell you right now, because I’m selfish and I really want to give you what you want right now, but if I tell you then that won’t happen. So, I am asking you to trust me, be the good girl you always have been inside no matter what kind of acting out you did, and not ask me again until after.” She nodded, and suddenly found herself flipped over onto her stomach and pinned, bound hands scrabbling for purchase in the sheets, as he left a trail of bite marks down her back.

It was like a switch had been flipped, and all she could focus on was the now of it, the feel of his teeth digging into her back, then her hips, the bruising hold his hands had on her hips, the weight of him pinning her legs down. When he reached her waist and turned his attention to the curve of her ass, she couldn’t hold back a moan or stop her body from lifting her hips in supplication. She buried her face in the bedding, hoping it would muffle the noises she couldn’t stop making, and yelped when he grabbed a fistful of her hair and jerked her head back just far enough that she had to shift her bound wrists for support.

“Oh, no, baby, let me hear you,” he said. “I know you’re impatient, but you seem to like it when I bite you and mark you up.” His free hand traced curves on her skin, and she realized he was tracing the crescent shaped bite marks he’d left on her body. “You bruise so pretty,” he said when he reached the one at her waist, the one he’d pushed her panties down just far enough to access her skin. She sighed as he grasped the plain cotton and pulled them the rest of the way down, urging her to lift one knee at a time so he could get rid of them completely.

The first crack of his hand on her backside caught her by surprise, and she went limp and barely stopped herself from begging for more. He knew, though, and she heard that damned pleased chuckled of his again as he massaged the handprint he’d just left before giving the other cheek the same treatment. “So pretty and red,” he mumbled. “Next time we do this, think I’ll put you across my lap.”

The sound she made that time was more cat-like than human, and she squirmed enough that he pressed her flat to the bed until she stopped, panting for breath and whining low in her throat as he repositioned her body, testing the tie around her wrists to be sure it hadn’t tightened too much with her movements before raising her to all fours and then jerking her back about a foot. “Not sure two smacks qualify as a spanking,” he mused, “but I’m all impatient now too, and I think I want to get to that whole ‘into the mattress’ bit.” She whimpered as he stroked her thigh, moving higher over dampened and then slick drenched skin. Her arms trembled with the effort of holding herself up as he pushed two fingers inside of her without preamble.

Rey moaned and shoved her hips back, letting her arms collapse and dropping to the mattress again, just barely remembering to turn her head to the side so she could breathe as his fingers pressed in and out, opening her up, stretching her just enough. She shifted, spreading her legs wider and arching her back in a wordless plea. She still whimpered at the loss of his hand but it turned into a moan as she felt something much larger than his fingers press inside her, the head demanding entrance, coaxing her body to relax and stretch just enough. She savored the slight burn as his length pressed in, inch by delicious inch. Fully inside, just on that edge of too much for her, he waited, hands absently massaging her hips, as she shifted and gave a tentative wiggle, and another, followed by an angry huff of breath and a frustrated whine that drew a laugh from him.

She yelped as he pulled back and slammed forward hard enough that she winced and couldn’t quite decide if it hurt just enough or too much, and then gasped as he did it again, fast and hard enough that she couldn’t do anything but take it. She screamed for him when he slapped her ass again, moaned when he curled his hands over her shoulders and pulled her back onto him, the wet slap of their bodies meeting echoing in the room over and over. He grabbed her hair and used the hold to pull her up, just barely slowing his thrusting into her as she got resituated up on her knees and turned her head for a messy, uncoordinated kiss.

Rey lifted her hands, wanting to touch him and momentarily forgetting her wrists were bound together. She whined as he kissed her again, one arm locked around her chest, flattening her breasts and holding her against his torso, the other still wound in her hair. “You wanted to be tied, remember?” he said, and she playfully growled and snapped her teeth like a rabid animal, earning herself another tug on her hair that had her eyes fluttering and rolling back in her head. She almost didn’t realize the arm over her breasts was gone, hand sliding over her belly as the steady push of his hips, the brutal thrusting of his cock inside her, slowed, growing more erratic but no less punishing. She twisted a little more, and he swallowed her moans with every thrust of his tongue in her mouth as his fingers practically danced over swollen flesh to rub circles and figure eights on her throbbing clitoris.

She’d been close a few times already, and every time Ben had just known and changed things just enough to keep her on edge but never let her fall over the cusp. Finally, though, he gave her what she needed, one final, bruising kiss before releasing his hold on her hair and letting her lean forward and push back to meet him, his fingers unrelenting. Rey wrapped her feet over his calves and leaned forward, using the extra leverage to change the angle just enough, and the impending orgasm rushed up and over her, blurring her vision and stealing away motor control and coherent thought.

She felt Ben grab her hips, jerking her back to meet him a few more times before making a sound that suggested he might be dying as he pulsed his own release inside her. Rey sighed happily and absently wiped at the line of drool steadily trickling from the corner of her mouth. She giggled at the tickling brush of Ben’s hair against her upper back, neither of them ready nor able to move anymore just yet. “Thanks,” she mumbled, blinking a few times but still unable to see clearly.

“M’pleasr,” he mumbled against her skin.

Eventually, Ben managed to pull out of her and collapse on his side, untying and massaging Rey’s hands and helping her to rearrange her limbs into a more comfortable position. They lay content and sated for a few, quiet moments, absently stroking one another’s skin or dropping light kisses wherever they could reach.

Rey stretched and felt something against her foot, struggling to rise up enough to see it. “Is that your belt?”

“Oh yeah…I may have forgotten to use it.”

Rey shivered at the idea. “Next time, please say you won’t forget next time.”

Ben stiffened and she looked at him in concern, suddenly remembering his earlier comments. “After,” she said softly. “You said it may be the only time and to ask you after.”

He nodded slowly. “I did say that. And it’s true. Rey, it really might be the last time we have together, because it’s very possible one or both of us won’t survive to morning.”

“Ben, what—”

“The security systems are all down. No recordings. When Snoke comes back tonight, he’ll want everyone together for a ‘formal audience’ or whatever the hell he decides to call it this time.” He paused and rolled onto his back, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose before he spoke again. “We’re going to kill them, Rey, Snoke and Ushar, or at least try to, before they kill us.” He looked at her, fear in his eyes, and she knew he expected her to argue, to insist it was too dangerous, or just plain wrong.

She didn’t though. Instead, she turned on her side, laced her fingers through his, and said, “Okay, how can I help?”

Chapter Text

They didn’t go anywhere without bodyguards, every move watched and catalogued for their own safety, but it was a sacrifice they had willingly made.

Because despite all odds, they had survived together.

Thrived, even…or maybe not.

Even with the rotation of guards, the necessity of constant vigilance and regular training in self-defense and various weapons, the lack of actual privacy, and the ever-present threat of someone waiting (be it photographers, assassins, or something in between) Rey didn’t regret her decision.

Not often, anyway.

She looked up as the door opened, smiling at the person standing there and greeting the woman who could have been her twin. “Hello, Kira.”

“Rey,” she nodded with a small smile of her own. “Grandfather sends his regards.” Kira sat on the low sofa as Rey moved to join her. “He’s rather enjoying his retirement and playing at being a doting great-grandparent,” Kira continued, accepting the water bottle Rey handed her.

“Excellent news, as always,” Rey said, tilting her head and hoping she sounded sincere. She knew better than to think she was fooling Kira, but there were more ears listening than just the real Palpatine heiress and her decoy.

Kira took a sip of her water and studied Rey in silence. Kira’s hair was lighter, freckles more pronounced, probably due to all the time she spent with her children, playing in the gardens and on the beaches at the various private family estates. Kira made a gesture and the man accompanying her stepped out of the room. She waited exactly forty-five seconds for the surveillance systems to shut off and the signal jammers to activate before speaking again. “Now, about what we discussed last time. Have you made your decision?”

Rey fought to keep her breathing even, swallowed hard past the sudden lump of fear in her throat. “I have.”

They dressed carefully, checking several times to ensure they would meet Snoke’s odd requirements for formality while maintaining ease of movement. They had only the barest hint of a plan, more a group agreement to seize any and all opportunity to free themselves of Snoke and his lapdog, Ushar.

Judge Canady’s house was more modest than Rey had expected—at least from the outside—and the man himself met them at the door in wrinkled slacks and a pajama top.

Only Rey was free of the physical scars he left, and they all had psychological and emotional wounds as well. She still didn’t actually know what exactly he’d done to Jannah, Ben, or any of the knights, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. He’d hurt them all—on Snoke’s orders, true—but he also enjoyed his work. That was enough knowledge.

“Do you have a ring?”

“Ah, shit, no I don’t,” Ben said, staring at Rey.

Rey smoothed her hands down over her hips again, checking that her clothes were as wrinkle free as they could get. Snoke was less than ten minutes away, and they were all expected to be assembled in the dining room when he returned. She turned at a sound and gave Ben a weak smile where he stood in the doorway. It was still there, that lost brokenness in his eyes, but at the moment it paled in comparison to his determined anger.

She ignored him, hand out toward Hux, who dropped two simple gold bands into her palm. “It’s better if you don’t ask,” she muttered, not wanting Ben to realize that Snoke had chosen them and had them in his office when he ordered her to marry Ben—well, Snoke called him Kylo as usual, but that wasn’t the point…

“Ready?”

When it came time for the vows, Ben looked at her with a crooked grin. “I never understood it when he told the story, but I think I get it now, so I am going to make the same promise my dad made to my mom: I’m still not quite sure how we got here from where we started, but I think you’re stuck with me now, kid. Forever.”

Vicrul muttered something Rey couldn’t quite understand.

With tears in her eyes, Rey responded, “Close your eyes and count to twelve. You be my monster, and I’ll be yours.”

She nodded and took his extended hand, allowing him to lead her from their rooms and into the wide tunnel hallway. The others were there, silent and tense. Nods and steely glances were exchanged, and they turned as a single unit for the dining room, Cardo pushing Bazine’s chair despite the fact that she was perfectly capable of doing it herself, the only sounds their breathing and the rustle of movement.

Hux made a sound of disgust and Judge Canady rolled his eyes. “Just kiss her and both of you sign this,” he muttered, “and then get out of my house.” Trudgen made what sounded suspiciously like a snort.

Snoke waited in the dining room, his chair—ornately carved and throne like—centered against one wall, Ushar to one side with his favorite knife in hand.

Almost before they were all in the room, Snoke broke the silence. “It seems,” he said angrily, “That I have been betrayed.”

Rey forced herself not to react beyond an intake of breath and a squeeze of Ben’s hand. Did he know?

“There is a spy among you, undercover filth,” the man hissed. “Someone has been feeding information to investigators, despite all my generosity.” Ushar shifted position, stepping forward. “Kuruk, what have you to say for yourself?”

“Wasn’t me,” the man in question said with a smirk. “You pay far better than the government ever did. You know I—”

His words were cut off in a strangled groan, and he fell to the ground, blood already pooling as Cardo wiped the blade of his knife on a handkerchief and stepped forward to join Ushar.

No. Oh, no. No no no no no….

Trudgen slipped up behind him, holding one hand out to Ushar and taking another knife from the man as he and Cardo turned to face the rest of the group.

“You should all know better,” Snoke said with that sinister chuckle and sickening smile. “Never trust anyone.”

The three Knights of Ren advanced, weapons poised for attack.

Rey felt bile rise in her throat as Ben stepped forward and a little to the left, jerking Rey behind him while also attempting to block Bazine. Jannah hovered beside them, frozen in terror.

It all happened at once. Trudgen lifted his arm and let his weapon fly, straight at Ben. Cardo whirled, knife coming down in a blurred arc. A popping sound echoed around them.

Ben caught the knife and adjusted his position, out of the line of fire, ready if Cardo missed his target. Trudgen dropped to the ground, a kick sweeping Ushar’s legs from under him as Cardo followed him down. “Never should have taught me your tricks,” Cardo muttered as the blade struck home.

Snoke slumped in his seat before Bazine even lowered the gun. Rey plucked it off her sister’s lap, staring wide-eyed at her sister. It was…over? Was it?

Ben turned and wrapped an arm around Rey, squeezing her once before moving to check on Kuruk, knife still in hand just in case.

A pounding sound echoed, followed by footsteps and the far door opened with a crash, voices calling out orders to freeze and drop their weapons.

It was chaos while they cleared the scene and escorted everyone out one by one, where paramedics waited to assess them.

Ben gestured to Phasma, waving her over when the fewest eyes were on them. “I need a knife, or a nail file, something flat and thin,” he said, cutting off whatever she wanted to say. She paused for a moment and handed over a pocketknife. Ben reached over and grabbed Rey’s locket, flipping it open and pressing the point to the bottom of one picture.

“Ben, what are you doing? Don’t! You’ll break it!”

He ignored Rey’s protests, popping the picture out to reveal something small and dark behind it. “I don’t know if the tech guys can save it, I had to destroy the casing,” he said, handing the something to Phasma.

Phasma stared from Ben to the necklace and then at the item in her hand. “I was never here,” she muttered, pausing to give Bazine a long look.

Bazine smiled and nodded. “Later,” Baz said, “now go.”

Rey wasn’t the only one who confessed to killing Snoke. Or Ushar, for that matter, but everyone was in agreement that Ushar killed Kuruk. And Paul. And attacked Bazine.

Ben and Bazine both confessed to tampering with and even stealing evidence in multiple cases while Rey was in high school. Evidence Phasma was able to magically produce the day after Snoke died.

Everyone’s story was close enough that it was a bit of a nightmare, trying to decide which of them to arrest and charge with what crime, especially when it came up that all of their fingerprints were on the weapons.

The group of Snoke Survivors (as the media decided to coin them) were cooperative with the various investigations—suspiciously so. It didn’t say much for the various agencies involved that when it was decided by someone somewhere that prosecuting any of them was more trouble than it was worth, almost no one complained.

Phasma lost her job due to her connection with Bazine and Ben, but she didn’t seem terribly upset with the loss of her career, a reaction that was explained when “Rey and Bazine’s long lost grandfather” offered her a much more lucrative position as a security advisor for his company.

Palpatine and his people spun a narrative that the press and public at large devoured ravenously. Reporters clamored for exclusive interviews with the notoriously reclusive man, and for once he granted them. It was chilling, watching him play the relieved, loving patriarch who claimed not only Rey but Bazine. Rumors abounded that Snoke had arranged to have them kidnapped, and Sheev Palpatine had searched for years until locating them as children in the same foster home, and for their safety had arranged for them to be adopted and raised together in anonymity.

He hit every note, made all the right gestures and expressions. It was terrifying, watching him manipulate everyone around him with far more talent than Snoke had ever exhibited.

There were times that Rey almost believed it herself, despite knowing that it was Ben’s estranged mother and uncle who had been the mysterious string-pullers who helped keep Rey and Baz together and get them into the private schools his family had founded. Of course, none of that had come from Ben, but rather his uncle, none other than Professor Luke Skywalker, Rey’s college chemistry professor.

“Certainly not!” the man said. “Kira never boarded that flight. She was in her bed, in my home, when my idiot son and his wife took off for a weekend in Switzerland. My granddaughter is very much alive and quite happy with the life she leads, and you, my dear, are going to help me keep it that way.”

Rey stared at Kira for another long moment, the other woman patient and serene. “It won’t be so bad,” Kira assured her. “Far better than what you were subjected to before.”

Whatever he wanted from her, she absolutely did not want to give it to him. Unfortunately, she didn’t think she was going to get a choice.

Rey licked her lips and took a breath. This was by far one of the most terrifying moments in her life. This decision, this moment and actually saying the words, this was going to change everything.

They resumed the conversation after Rey was released, Palpatine insistent on continuing to maintain the façade of a harmless old…billionaire. “I am reaching a point where I no longer wish to concern myself with the day-to-day business of the family company.”

“My answer is yes,” Rey said firmly, surprising herself with how calmly she uttered the words.

“My granddaughter is my only living relative, and she has no interest in taking the helm.”

Kira beamed. “I’m so happy you said that!” She stood and moved closer, waiting for Rey to stand as well.

“Neither does her husband,” he added as the car door opened and a man stepped out.

“It’s true, I don’t.” Rey knew her mouth had dropped open in shock as the man she knew only as Cardo Ren held out a hand. “I believe it’s long past time that we should be properly introduced,” he said, words colored by an accent she didn’t even recognize. “James Cooper Maxwell, the third,” he continued, giving her hand a gentle shake as she placed it in his, operating on autopilot.

Rey accepted Kira’s hug, feeling surprisingly warm inside now that she’d voiced the words, agreed to the plan. “Come on then, Coop and Ben are waiting downstairs.”

“How were you so sure I’d say yes? I wasn’t even certain until just now.”

Kira shrugged, innocent smile at odds with the flinty gaze. “One of the few things I have in common with Grandfather,” she said. “Neither of us take no for an answer.” Rey felt as if her stomach dropped to her feet and allowed Kira to lead her out of the office and into the private elevator that required a retinal scan for access and operation.

“I admit, you do greatly resemble my dear Kira,” Palpatine said. “Eerily so.” He paused a moment, clearly thinking about something. “Yes, it’s even possible you might actually be related, some illegitimate branch, of course, but family nonetheless.” He stroked his chin and leaned back against the leather of the car seat. “Not just you. Your sister looks a great deal like my mother. Hm…yes, I believe it might work after all.” He trailed off, seemingly talking more to himself than anyone else and reminding Rey far too much of Snoke. “Maxwell, make the call,” he snapped out after a moment, suddenly enough that Rey jumped.

The ride was nearly two hours, and Rey spent most of it in silence, curled into Ben’s side in the plush back seat as Cooper drove, Kira chattering away beside him as Trudgen and their other guards for the day followed in an identical vehicle.

Ben wrapped a comforting arm around her as they reached the end of the journey, and Rey trembled against him.

“This is it!” Kira chirped brightly, turning to look at Rey. “I hope you’re ready.”

Rey watched as Kira threw open her door and got out of the car, kneeling in the soft sand outside the beach house and holding out her arms as two squealing children and an energetic dog bounded forward to meet her. Rey opened her door and stepped out of the vehicle, pressing a hand to her lips as she realized Bazine and Phasma were already there, following along behind the exhausted looking nanny with soft smiles. The newlyweds were moving slowly with Phasma supporting Baz as she took only a few shaky steps at a time (the result of countless hours of physical therapy and the high-end, customized braces on her legs).

Rey shook her head. It had been so close, so many times...an arm slipped around her waist and Rey blinked misty eyes up at Ben. “Hey, don’t cry. We’re still here.” She nodded up at him as Kira stood, two-year-old son cuddled in one arm and holding her four-year-old daughter’s hand.

“Rey, meet Phillip and Olivia,” Kira said as she and the children met Rey and Ben halfway across the drive.

“Livvy, Phil, can you say hello to Auntie Rey and Uncle Ben?”

Phillip buried his face in his mother’s neck as Olivia executed a perfect curtsy. “A pleasure to meet you,” she said, sounding far older than four and grinning at the surprised laughter the action and words earned her. “Mummy,” she said, looking up at Kira, “is it really real? I have three aunties and an uncle?”

“Rey, you’ve done so much, and I will be forever grateful to you,” Kira said. “I don’t envy you the pressure or the responsibility. I love my life, and without you,” she paused and wiped at damp eyes, sniffling a moment before she continued. “Without you, Coop may not have survived to come back to me, and I would be stuck at the office every day.” She glanced at Rey and shook her head. “I’m not saying this well. What I’m getting at, is that Rey, no matter what the tests do or don’t say if you and Baz even decide to have them done, you’re family as far as I’m concerned, and I’d like you to meet my children, be a part of their lives.”

“Yes, dear heart, you do,” Kira answered. Without waiting for her mother to finish, Olivia launched herself at Rey’s knees, hugging with all her strength and chattering about her favorite dolls, tea parties, superheroes, and the lions at the zoo (apparently, they were sad because they were in cages and that was why they wanted to eat everyone).

When Rose and Hux arrived for the weekend, they found Ben and Phillip digging holes in the sandy beach at the water’s edge, the little boy shrieking with glee every time a wave washed over their ankles, while Rey and Bazine watched as Olivia demonstrated “how to hit good” by demonstrating her technique on an inflatable clown.

Rey held out a hand, reaching for Ben as he approached with little Phillip secure in one arm as he leaned down to help her up.

“You’re still here!” Rose shrieked as she dashed across the sand, taking Rey’s breath with the force of her hug. “Armie owes me a foot massage, I told him you’d be outside playing with the littles.” Hux followed, shaking his head.

He’d become a surprisingly good friend in recent months, and a driving force in Rey’s other friends at least attempting to understand her choices. Kaydel wasn’t quite ready to see her yet, but Poe and Finn had invited Rey and Ben to their wedding in another month, and Kay had at least responded to a few text messages.

“Never trust Grandfather, Rey,” Kira said seriously from across the conference table. “I don’t know details, but I assure you he’s gotten away with more than Snoke ever dreamed of.” Rey nodded slowly. She had of course suspected as much. “He won’t harm you,” her look-alike rushed to assure her. “He has…an odd sense of family obligation, and make no mistake, as far as I am concerned you are family and I’ve made that clear to him.”

Rey swallowed hard past the lump in her throat.

Kira attempted a gentle smile, but it came across as more of a grimace. “I think he meant it when he said he’s ready to retire. He’s been…surprisingly well-behaved the last few years, other than sending Coop to Snoke as a spy. The businesses, as far as I know, are all perfectly legitimate, because I refused to have anything to do with them otherwise.” She paused, and the smile she offered as she settled back and relaxed against her seat really was genuine. “And now thanks to you I don’t have to!”

As the weekend drew to a close, Rey looked at her husband and smiled, then turned her attention back to Olivia sleepily arguing that she wasn’t tired (punctuated with a yawn) and tried to pretend she didn’t see Palpatine staring at them from the far side of the room through narrowed eyes. The man was always up to something, but then, there had always been someone trying to manipulate her from the shadows. It was just her life, and at least now she was aware of it.

They might be battered, cracked, nearly broken, and in desperate need of therapy for unseen wounds that would never heal, but they were together.

For Rey, it was enough.

She watched the sunset and vowed to keep it that way.

Whatever it takes, just stay alive.

They said their goodbyes and walked hand in hand to where Trudgen waited with the car. Rey had a six AM conference call on Monday and she’d need the secure line in the office for it. The new pipeline was going to make a lot of people very unhappy, but it was the best business decision. Creating jobs…letting Palpatine make her the public facing monster in his place. It was fine, she could last a little longer. He was an old man. He wouldn’t live forever.

Trudgen made a casual-looking gesture as they pulled away, and Rey truly relaxed for the first time in days.

“You’ll need guards,” Trudgen said calmly before she’d even greeted him or closed the door. “Security you can trust, preferably a team that cares whether you live or die.” Rey tilted her head, curious and he flashed her a rare grin. “I’m not stupid. We all know Palpatine’s up to something and it involves you working for him somehow.”

She didn’t respond, but then she didn’t really need to.

“He’s more stable than Snoke, but that makes him more dangerous.”

Rey nodded.

“Consider this me applying for the job, and although I can’t really speak for him, I think Vicrul would do it, too.”

Rey studied him for a moment, then tapped her right thumb against her left elbow twice, earning another grin from him. “Answer one question for me, and you can consider yourself hired.”

“Shoot.”

“Why? You have a chance to start over and do anything. Why get back into the same situation?”

“First, it wouldn’t be the same, because it would be for you and Ky—ah, Ben. But mostly, well, Ap’lek said it best. You’re impossible not to love Rey, and I don’t feel the same way he did or Ben does, it’s not exactly like that, but…I would be terribly angry if anything happened to either of you.” He paused and tilted his head. “I put a lot of effort into training you both.”

She snorted in her attempt to hold back her laughter. “Okay then. Can I know your name?”

“No.”

Rey blinked. “No?”

“I’ll stick with Trudgen, thanks, the so-called real one doesn’t fit me.”

“It’s Tucker,” another voice called from the doorway.

“Ben!” She was across the room and in his arms before the door closed behind him. After a moment she pulled back and made a face, turning to look at Trudgen again. “Tucker? Really? He’s not just messing with me?”

Trudgen just glared and crossed his arms over his chest, muscles twitching in his efforts not to react more than that.

“You’re right, it doesn’t fit you. Trudgen it is. You and Vicrul can fight over which if you will be the head of our security team.”

“They’ll just let Jannah decide,” Ben said. Rey blinked a few times again (she was doing that a lot). Was he saying…?

The day was just full of surprises.

They arrived home just after eleven, and Trudgen saw them to the door, checked the house and reset the security systems, before he headed to the gate house. “Night, Tucker,” Rey called behind him with a giggle at the non-secret gesture he threw over his shoulder. “Give Vicrul and Jannah my love!”

He waved that time, and Rey shrieked as Ben lifted her off the ground. “I’ll give you my love,” he growled against her and her laughter turned into a breathy moan as her husband managed to lock the door behind her back with one hand, the other wrapped gently around her throat as he kissed her and she nearly melted into the door.

“How can you love such a monster?” he whispered and she sighed against his lips as her fingers dug into his shirt.

“It’s easy when it’s my monster,” she purred.

“…nine…ten…eleven…twelve. Ready or not, here I come!” Rey pressed a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles as Ben stomped around the yard, pulling faces and making growling noises. Baz said eleven was too old for hide and seek and wouldn’t play anymore, but Ben would. She was going to miss him when he went away to college in a few months.

The third time he passed by her hiding place, she darted out from behind the bush and raced for the post on the back porch designated base.

She squealed when he caught her at the base of the stairs, lifting her off the ground. “Ugh, you’re getting too heavy, Ellie Bee. Even monster arms aren’t that strong.”

“My monster’s arms are,” she insisted, sure of it.

“Oh really? And am I your monster, Lil Bit?”

“Of course,” she said with a haughty sniff as he put her down. “You’re the monster for me, and I’m the monster for you.”

“I thought monsters were scary.”

She huffed. Sometimes Ben didn’t know anything. “Only for other people. I’m not scared of my monster. She put her hands on her hips, the way Bazine and Mama Maz did when they were vexed with Rey (vexed was a new vocabulary word from the book Ben let her read last week). “I know you won’t hurt me.”

He laughed and wiped at the sweat on his face. “That’s true, Lil Bit, I won’t. Now come on, it’s hot out here. Let’s get a drink and maybe do something inside, where the air conditioner lives. I can’t stay much longer anyway. I have a date with Jessika Pava later.”

Rey huffed. He could do better. “Paige Tico’s prettier, and she’s home for the summer,” she insisted, retrieving the apple juice from the cabinet while Ben reached for glasses.

“Good for her.”

Rey sighed. Sometimes she thought boys were completely hopeless.

“Drink your juice, and we might have time for one movie before I go.”

Rey nodded and turned up the glass. Ben never teased her for wanting to watch little kid movies. They made her feel safe. Maybe he wasn’t completely hopeless after all.