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A Avatar of Death and a Life Player Walk Into a Room

Summary:

It's been years upon years since the events of Problem Sleuth and Death is deathly lonely. When a fushia blooded life player waltzes into death and demands his tea, Death knows that he's in for a ride.
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It’s been a long while since you’ve seen anybody new. It’s gotten significantly quieter ever since that mobster you were playing monopoly with was ushered to hell by a devilish fellow, and you’ve been itching to play a new game with a new player. It’s a bit morbid of you to think that since you meet new people when….. Well…. When they die, but you must play with the cards you’re dealt with and you’d rather play poker with a partner than by yourself.

Needless to say, you were surprised when a long horned, grey skinned lass walks through your doors.

Notes:

Yes it has been years since I read homestuck and problem sleuth, yes the characters do play catan while drinking tea, yes I did write this in one session and edited it in another session, let me live my life. Apologies if this is ooc, its been a long while since I've interacted with anything relating to homestuck and such and I'm recently getting back into it while trying to remember characterization that I vaguely remember. Hope that makes this still bearable though lol.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It’s been a long while since you’ve seen anybody new. It’s gotten significantly quieter ever since that mobster you were playing monopoly with was ushered to hell by a devilish fellow, and you’ve been itching to play a new game with a new player. It’s a bit morbid of you to think that since you meet new people when….. Well…. When they die, but you must play with the cards you’re dealt with and you’d rather play poker with a partner than by yourself.

Needless to say, you were surprised when a long horned, grey skinned lass walks through your doors. You hurriedly scramble about, trying to catch your composure as you fumble with your tea cup. You greet her, trying your best to not look too surprised or sound too excited because you have a brand new visitor. She greets you back, glubbing gleefully as she approaches your tea table.

She innocently asks for some tea, her white eyes shining vacantly at you, but you both know it wasn’t a question. You nod, moreso as a formality than anything else. Before you could touch the teapot’s handle, she already has her claws around it. She pours her cup slowly and methodically, politely asking for sugar and cream. You pick up the sugar platter and offer it to her, the creamer sitting on top of the piles of white squares. She nods as she takes one, two, three sugar cubes and pours an excessive amount of cream into her cup. She twirls a spoon in the cup until the pale liquid matches her tan shirt. She takes a sip and grins, flashing her sharp teeth at you. You gulp. You quickly finish your drink and ask her how she’s enjoying hers. She hums, contemplating her words. She says that she likes it, though in her opinion it should’ve been steeped for longer.

You stand up, pushing your chair behind you. You motion to your extensive library of games and ask her if she would like to play Ticket to Ride. You recently got your hands on that game, and you’ve been waiting for a chance to break it out. Apparently it’s very long, and if the both of you are here, you have plenty of time to spend on this trans-continental game. She shake her head. She isn’t particularly interested in many long games, especially ones about trains. She suggests the game Catan, which is sitting front and center in your case. If you’re honest, Catan isn’t your favorite game, and you really want to play Ticket to Ride, but if she wants to play a game about settlers, you’re willing to wait a bit more to play Ticket to Ride.

You fetch the game and set it up, the lass taking small sips from her cup as you place the tials in place. What color does she want? She wants red, of course, it’s her favorite color! You’re partial to blue, but you can understand why she has an affinity to red. You hand her houses and churches, plucking them out of the jumbled mess of pieces. You hold out the large black pawn, explaining how he’s the robber and stops you from collecting cards if you roll a seven. She wrinkles her nose and hopes that neither of you roll a seven. You have to agree, the pawn is a bitch. But if used effectively, he can be a useful tool.

You roll to see who goes first, and she wins. She smiles as she gathers her cards, counting the resources she has. You ask her how she got here as she buys a road. She shrugs, the same could be asked for you. You frown as you roll the dice. Well, this is your job. You’re supposed to make sure no dead souls sneak through the door and rejoin the living. She laughs to herself as you grab a rock card. She admits that it’s a bit ironic that you say that, she is a life player after all! You laugh along side her. It is a bit funny, in a twisted, morbid way.

You ask her if she’s here because of her life powers.

She shrugs. You could say that. She places a new settlement on the board.

You roll the dice, sighing in relief as it tumbles into a 8. That was a close one. It looks like it’s time to collect brick cards. She has some settlements on brick tiles, correct? She agrees and thanks you when you hand her the card. You two continue to play the game, idly chatting to one another as you progress through the game. You have been significantly struggling against the lass, barely getting enough materials to make a road as she builds her empire in ease. Because of this, you’re focused on gathering special cards, somehow gathering as many points as her.

She was replacing a settlement with a city when she says she has a challenge. It’s nothing big, it’s just something to make this game more interesting. You hum. On one hand, the way that she said that makes you hesitate to say yes, but on the other hand, you’re deathly curious on what she has to say. You weigh your options, and eventually ask her what she had in mind. She takes the dice in her hands and stares at them, consitering her next words carefully.

She proposes a bet. She mentioned that she’s a life player, right? And with that, she has powers relating to the cycle of life and death, including the afterlife. If she can win this game of Catan, she wishes to have control over her and her friends souls, doing whatever she wishes with them. If you win, she’s sure that her 31 compatriots will gladfully join you in the afterlife and play whatever games you wish to play, especially Ticket to Ride.

Well, this is certainly a pickle. You despise it when people leave the afterlife, it makes your blood boil like lava. But, the thought of 31 people in the afterlife, playing board games until the end of time tantalizes you so much. Maybe this once your luck will pull you through and let you win this game. You agree to this bet, sealing the deal with a handshake. After the deal is done, the lass finally rolls the dice, landing on a 7. You wince, giving her a a sympathetic look. Strangely enough, that doesn’t seem to deter her mood. She confidently places the pawn on a rock tile, the only rock tile with your settlement on it. You nibble your lip. Rock cards are pretty important, you build everything in with rocks cards. But it’s fine, you’re sure you can set up a new settlement on a different rock tile. You scan the board, looking for a new space to place a settlement. Then it dawns on you. She has placed a settlement on every other rock tile, forming a monopoly with rock cards. With the pawn on your rock tile, you have no way for you to get rock cards, and by the time you can move the pawn again, she would be so far ahead of you that there’s no feasible way for you to win with the strategy you have.

You lift your head high and admit that you can’t win this round of Catan. It’s quite obvious that she won, especially at this stage of the game, and you congratulate her on her victory.

She squeals as she tackles you in a hug, smothering you with her gratitude. She’s over the moon relieved that she rolled a 7 before you realized her plan. You silently nod along with her, letting her ramble on and on about how much of a gamble that strategy was, and oh gog, she can’t even comprehend how lucky she was for rolling a 7 at that exact moment!

You pat her back as you reluctantly say how a deal’s a deal, and she can do whatever she wishes with her friends souls. She lets you go, smiling from fin to fin. She thanks you for the game, saying that it’s the best game she’s played in sweeps. You nod as you start to sweep the pieces back into its box, almost knocking over your teaset in the process. You wave as she bounds to the door to the living, flinging it open with all of her strength.

Before she passes through, she looks back to you. She says that she’s planning on making bubbles filled with dreams, where the dead souls of her and her friends will reside in, forever living their death through memories of their life. She asks you if it’s a good idea. She didn’t really tell anybody about this plan since she wanted it to be a surprise, but she’s having some doubts. Is this actually a good idea? Or would it be cruel to make her friends relive their lives, wandering aimlessly through scenes that make them miserable?

You think for a moment. You say that you’ve met a lot of people here, some of them bad, some of them good, but most of them were just people living through a weird but terrible experience. Almost everyone who entered your domain has attempted to sneak out, no matter how messed up their life was. You think that her friends would much rather be in those bubbles than in this place. Besides, it sounds much more interesting than spending their days playing games with you.

She shakes her head, saying that you’re way more interesting than what she has planned! She’s just recreating scenery that everyone’s seen before, that’s hardly as interesting as playing a game while drinking tea! You’re much more fun than that!

You shake your head, denying that you’re little slice of death is interesting at all. You’re just doing what you love to do, playing games and drinking tea. She’s basically making a whole new world, that’s much more appealing than this void.

Well, she says since you’re so adamant about how cool her new project is going to be, you should visit after she finishes making it. Then you can see for yourself how boring it’ll be.

You smile. That sounds wonderful to you.

She tells you to make sure you bring Ticket to Ride when you eventually swing by, she knows a certain troll who’d love to play it.

You can not wait. You wave her goodbye as she launches herself out the door, her wings propelling her into her new job.

Notes:

I just think it'd be interesting if a life player met Death that's all. I know through bs sburb mechanics that homestuck characters don't go to Death but I just think having problem sleuth and homestuck linked is nice. And also I just really like feferi and death so of course I had to have them interact with each other.

I hope you had as much, if not more fun as I did while writing this! Thank you for reading!!!