Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Ugh… Why did WE get stuck doing this?!”

“Because Grim’s the one that lost the frisbee, and you were the unlucky person next to us…” I checked behind another bush, but to no avail, continuing forward into the forest. “Oh, come on! Why is it so hard to find a stupid frisb-”

“YO, LOOK OUT!!!”

“Wh-AHHH!!!” It was if the ground itself disappeared beneath me. I couldn’t tell if I was screaming or not, more focused on the way my vision blurred as I rolled down the steep incline. I could feel sharp rocks digging into my skin, taking scraps of my uniform with it, until finally, it all stopped…

Luckily, down below was a patch of strange flowers, a kind I’d never seen before! … It didn’t stop it from hurting so much though when I crashed against a tree stump near the base, showers of thick, pink pollen clouding into the air, before descending back down in a graceful swoop.

“OH SHIT! [NAME]!!! … You good?” My entire body screamed for death. Despite that, I forced myself to sit up. I was barely able to peek over the thick mass of flowers that seemed to swallow me whole.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK?!” He relaxed, but it didn’t last for long. He was struggling to compose himself, and when I looked down, I found out why… I was completely covered in pink dust.

“DON’T YOU DARE LAUGH!”

“I… I… AHAHAHAHA!!!” I simply rolled my eyes, climbing up so I could sit on the tree trunk, while Ace carefully made his own way down the slope. He paused right before entering the flower bed, cringing at the scent.

“Oh YIKES that strong…” He turned back, beginning to walk away. I can’t believe this.

“BRO??? YOU’RE JUST GONNA LEAVE ME HERE???” He tossed his hands up.

“YOU COULDN’T PAY ME ENOUGH TO ENTER THAT! Besides, it’s not like I’m leaving you completely! I’m just… Gonna guide you back to the school… From a distance…”

“Ugh, RUDE!” I forced myself up, making the trek towards him. “Fine! But I’m not sharing the cherry pie I made tod-AH!” I tripped over something hidden within the bed, falling face-down onto the ground once more.

“... Uh… [Name]?”

A single hand peeked through the brush, holding the long-coveted frisbee.

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“Ugh… This is bad…” My fingers hovered over send, knowing I’d have to tell him.

Luckily, gym was the last class for today, and it was already close to over by the time returned. That meant everyone was free to go home! … Except I’d already made plans to attend the Gargoyle Appreciation Club meeting with Malleus today. I knew by now, he was probably there, preparing for the meeting as I thought…

But that smell hadn’t worn off in the slightest, nor could I dust the pollen off… (That, and my uniform was practically shredded to hell and back.)

I’d have to take a shower to probably get it off and change, but by the time it took for me to get to Ramshackle, I’d already be well past time for the meeting… It’d only be fair to tell him to cancel, but… He was so excited when I told him I’d stop by, that I knew it would crush him…

“... No, I have to… It’s only fair.” I took a deep breath, ready to tap “Send,” and at that moment, I got a message.

‘[Name], please do not forget that the meeting for the Gargoyle Appreciation Club will begin in 10 minutes.’ There was a brief pause, before I saw he continued to type.

‘... I am looking quite forward to you joining us today.’

… Oh, there was no way I could possibly skip now… Reluctantly, I grabbed my bag before making the lone journey towards the classroom he awaited in…

(... Even Grim ditched me because of those stupid flowers’ smell…)

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“... Ah, you’ve finally arrived, child of… Man…” My lungs burned, my legs feeling a similar pain as I entered the room, flopping against the closest chair. Chartreuse eyes widened in shock, but I couldn’t blame them. I probably looked a sight.

“S… Sorry I’m late… A fight broke out in the hall I was gonna take… So I had to… Take another path…” Had it been any other time, the way his eyes wandered my body, seemingly examining each and every part of it… I might’ve felt subconscious of it. RIght now, I just wanted to breathe… “Just… Give me like five minutes, then we can start…”

I closed my eyes, leaning back in the small chair as I struggled to calm my breathing… Though, I could hear him rise from his seat, the click of his heels making their way over to me. The moment I opened them, I found his face mere inches from mine, eyes squinted, as if examining something closely… I couldn’t stop myself from freezing, both concerned, yet… Intrigued, to see the man so closely.

“... U-uh… Malleus?” He made no effort to move back. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He bent closer, squinting in suspicion.

“That smell…” … My face immediately burned from shame.

“A-ah… There was, um… An accident during gym… I fell into some weird flowerbed and… Yeah, it’s strong. Sorry, I didn’t have time to ch-”

Suddenly, I found myself pulled close, the fae burying himself into my shoulder. I could hear him deeply inhale, an almost… Erotic, moan escaping his lips as his body trembled.

“You smell heavenly, child of man…” From the brief glimpse I was able to catch from his eyes, I could tell they’d sharpened, a dangerous sight… Normally only turned to such a degree if he was furious or… Well… “Excited.” I could only assume it was the latter, both from his words, and the way his fangs nipped along my skin nuzzling against me with a strange fevor I’d never seen. Soon after, his tongue occasionally seeped out to leave a light lap against my flesh, shivering in delight as his tongue stripped away a decent portion of the pink pollen with it…

It would be oh-so-easy to fall into his touches, to let the fearsome dragon have his way with me… But…

“(M-MAL MAL! WE’RE AT SCHOOL!!!)” I struggled to push him further, unable to resist worried glances towards the door. If even one person were to wander in on such a spectacle… Well, especially HE would never hear the end of it! Yet, each time I managed to successfully shove a hand, or other limb away, another would quickly overpower me, as if I were some sort of irresistible delight he couldn’t resist…

… Though, from the hazy, sluggish smile he wore… I was beginning to think that might actually be the case.

He replied, a lazy grunt. Really, it felt more like he couldn’t hear me, so focused on taking my hand within his own, and licking along my fingers. Now I shivered, feeling the way his reptilian tongue slinked around, thoroughly coating my digits with his saliva, before he simply pulled my hand to his lips, deciding it more efficient to simply suckle them instead.

… Something was wrong… Something was definitely wrong… I heard chatter from outside, my heart thundering within me.

“(Mal Mal! C’mon, stop that!)”

“Mmm…” This time, I forced my hand away, and though he reached back, his movement felt more… Sluggish, this time. “Mmgrh…” I ignored his pout, gently pushing him back. I leapt from my chair, peering out the window to make sure no one was right outside, and made sure to pull the curtains and lock the door. The moment it clicked, I found myself pressed against the firm wood, Malleus’ head resting atop my own as his hands began to sluggishly wander about my body.

“A-ah…!” I covered my mouth, knowing that even so, someone might’ve already heard. He didn’t seem to care, nuzzling against me further, almost aggressively at this point, while his hands began to tug at my clothing, revealing more of my skin. Shortly after, I could feel his member beginning to twitch against my body. At this point, I knew escape would be a near impossible task… (Unless he could conduct himself to teleport us, that was…) “(Mal Mal! Bad dragon, bad!)”

At that, he reluctantly stumbled away, almost toppling over his own feet… It was like watching a cat that’d had too much catnip…

… Wait… Catnip was a plant… And I fell into a bunch of plants…

… Oh no.

“Are… Are you high???” He managed to keep himself on two feet, using a nearby table littered with gargoyles to help keep him stable.

“N… No…” … He was VERY convincing, that much was for sure. I slowly walked forward, watching as his eyes narrowed on me once more, and slowly reached a hand out. Once he seemed to process what was happening, he snatched it, holding it tightly so I wouldn’t escape his grasp again, and nuzzled into the appendage as if his life depended on it. “Mmmgh~”

An almost dangerous look flashed upon his eyes, but this time, I was prepared, managing to keep myself in place as he tried to tug me into his embrace again. Clearly he was displeased about that. “[Naaaaaame]...” His voice took on a low turn, a hint of a growl to it… Yet it was more akin to a displeased child’s brewing tantrum than anything. I took the opportunity to pull my hand away, ignoring his second growl.

“... Oh my god… What the fuck did those flowers do…” More importantly… What the fuck was I suppsoed to do?! I couldn’t exactly go ask other members of Diasomnia for help, that’d either end badly for me, or for Malleus! I don’t think they’d take “Hey your lord ate a bunch of weird aphrodisiac pollen and won’t stop touching me” well, to say the least...

… I took a deep breath, walking away from him as I tried to relax. I paused as I passed a nearby window, finally seeing the even worse mess I’d become. My uniform was a complete, disheveled mess, and where my skin wasn’t pink, it was now slick with saliva and teeth marks from where the man tried to devour me… And my hair? It was worse than a bedhead… If somehow we COULD make it out without no one noticing Malleus, surely the same couldn’t happen for me…

I heard heels clicking from behind, their rhythm a far-cry from normal. I jumped to the side, dodging the dragon’s attacks by mere seconds.

“WHA!!!” He stumbled a bit, almost falling over in surprise, yet I couldn’t afford to help him. His eyes had returned to that feral state, so I had to think fast.“M-Mal Mal… Come on now, just relax… I took a few steps back, trying to figure out a plan of action. “... You’re a good boy, aren’t you?”

“Mmgmh…” … Wasn’t much to work with, but I had to make do.

“Yes you are~ You’re a very good boy~ So… Why don’t we end the meeting early today, and go back to Ramshac-KLE!” He lunged again, and by some miracle, I’d managed to dodge. He was getting a lot faster… (Whatever was in that pollen must’ve been kindling his more beastly instincts again…) I was cornered to the wall, but I could feel the door right behind me.

“... Mrmm…” At this point, he was practically growling, low and threatening… His tail unfurled from where it was usually hidden, sharp claws beginning to tear through his gloves as he stalked closer, seemingly taller than before… I knew this was my last chance to try and salvage the situation.

“(Hoo boy…)” I took another step back, feeling my back meet the wall. My only reassurance at that moment was knowing even now, he’d never hurt me, no matter how deadly those chartreuse eyes of his were. “... A-anyway! Why don’t we head back to Ramshackle, Mal Mal? There’s lot of cozy blankets and clothes to make a next with… And we’ve got comfy pillows too…”

His ears twitched at that, but nothing more. It wasn’t convincing enough… So I had no choice but to pull out ol’ reliable…

“... You’d also have me all to yourself… No one could interrupt and pull me away from you, and I could give you MANY snuggles… OH!” The last thing I saw before he pounced was a flash of green fireflies, and it seemed in the brief moment, I blinked, that the gargoyle-clad classroom had vanished, instead replaced with the walls of a Ramshackle bedroom. Instead of a flat wall, my back collided onto a flurry of pillows and blankets, yet one thing remained the same…

I was still trapped beneath the dragon’s clutches, except this time, there was no escape…

Chapter Text

Oh, how completely, utterly, delightfully small…

Perhaps it was a strange thing to be enthralled about, especially since you’d assume he’d hold at least a small amount of disdain for his size… (Those many, many moments he’d smacked against a doorframe… He’d rather not recall.)

Yet… Seeing his lover, writhe and squirm beneath him, on nothing but his fingers alone… Even if it was not his cock, just compared to their own fingers, it must’ve been quite a lot, if their cries of delight were anything to go by… Ah, but he’s feeling a tad bit mean, surely those of despair would sound just as sweet…

“A-ah… No… Don’t stop…” … This was troublesome… If anything, hearing them so needy was only more addicting… Surely this human would soon become his demise. Just the mere thought of trapping them away, just the two of them… Spending his days hearing nothing but their delicious cries as he drank their sweet nectar, making sure not a single speck was left by his greedy tongue…

Such an unusual child of man… The first time he’d dined upon them, he was… Concerned, believing they’d recoil at the sight of his inhuman mouth… Yet again, they’d managed to surprise him. Even if they’d intended to hide it, their lust was clear as the night sky, and he could only wonder what he’d done to have the pleasure, the privilege of meeting a human such as this…

Ah… If he continued down his path, surely they’d take all afternoon… He couldn’t risk another traveling out to this condemned sanctuary to drag him out… Even if by some miracle he were left alone, his own needs were becoming unbearable. There were only so many times he could simply adjust his trousers and continue on unhindered…

“Please… Allow me claim you once more… To fill you with my seed…” Such a thing was surely irresponsible with his status of royalty alone, yet if this love was naught but a horrid crime, it would be a crime he’d commit over and over… Even if it meant destroying any and all that came between him and them…

He already knew. They would say yes, they always said yes, but even so, he wanted to give them the choice. Despite that, he already worked to tug down his trousers, tossing them alongside his long-forgotten shirt…

“... You silly little dragon… You already know you don’t have to ask…”

“Hmph… Silly? Little? Are you sure that those are the proper words? Not ‘vile?’ Or perhaps ‘horrifying?’” Soon enough the suffocating clothing was gone, leaving nothing between the two but worn, cotton sheets. They made no attempt to back away as he crawled forward, only smiling and grabbing at a lock of smokey hair.

“Not to me, you aren’t… Unless that’s not what you’d prefer?” … In a cruel sense, he almost does, wanting to hear your screams and begs for mercy as he allows those sadistic, cruel desires of his draconic instincts to take over, to breed you over, and over, and over… Until for sure you’d carry his child, (perhaps even twins, he can’t help muse, thinking such a thing lovely…)

Yet even then, he forces himself to stop, knowing that yet again if he trails down such territory, such thoughts would only become more dangerous…

“... Malleus?” That soft hand had moved to cradle his cheek, and it’s impossible for him not to lean into it’s warmth. “Are you alright…?”

“... I’m more than alright. I apologize, my love. I simply got caught upon my feelings for you…” He’s already memorized that soft, flustered smile, yet it’ll never compare to seeing it once more. “ I’ve kept you waiting long enough… Surely your body will take me easily now… Unless you’d prefer me to stretch you out a little longer.”

“I can’t wait any longer…” Lips upturn, and he can’t help but agree, guiding their legs around his waist as he grinds into them, making sure to thoroughly coat himself in their slick before pressing in…

Even as only the tip breaches, he’s already deep within euphoria, finding it impossible to pause until you’ve taken all of him, and even then he demands more, ignoring the strain of his neck as he leans down to capture you in a lustful kiss, unable to contain his purrs as you clench around him so tightly, squirming from how full you must be…

It’s not enough. It’ll never be enough… He won’t be content until you can remember nothing of this world, your world… Until you can remember nothing but Malleus Draconia, and his eternal love for you…

Yet just for you, he’d toss away such happiness with ease, if it meant you could be happy…

“I… I love you, Malleus…”

… Though it seemed to be a promise even he would soon fail to keep…

Chapter Text

“Hm? What’s wrong, Prince of Thorns~?”

Of course, I’d find no answer, not for quite some time… Though, that was far from a bad thing. It wouldn’t stop me from “punishing” him, however. My fingers weaved through those silky, ebony locks, giving another firm yank to them, both to pull his face closer into my heat, and to hear that quiet, intoxicating hum that poured from the prince’s lips, his tongue slithering deeper within me, desperate to taste even more of my essence.

… His hands were struggling against their restraints again. Even his claws had slipped out, whether or not he’d realized it, deep marks being left across the taut leather and he fought to free himself.

To think he’d been doing so well, too…

“Ah, ah… What did I tell you, Draconia?” It was torture, having to pull myself off his face, but I’d be a bad beastamer to let my desires take over. Even so, He leaned forward, desperate for more. I had to (literally) take him by the horns, forcing his head back down onto the soft pillows beneath.

“A-ah…! That’s…!” Almost violently, he trashed beneath me as I curled a few fingers near the base of one, dragging my nails along the seam where horns met skin. “N-ngh… Please!”

“Please what, Draconia?” Now I tapped my fingers along the very same spot, his spine arching (well… The best it could, under his current predicament,) from the feeling, his fangs threatening to pierce his lip as he forced himself to retain some dignity… (Or at least feel as if there was any left. I feel as if quite a few fae would argue there was none remaining from letting a human of all things treat him so roughly…)

I waited for a response, yet there was none. I decided to even show some kindness, releasing his horns so he could collect himself, and speak like a proper man… Yet he said nothing, the fae beneath me focusing his gaze enough to glare upon me.

“... Hm? Go on now. Use your words, now, just as a Prince should… Oh!” The tip of his tail felt like ice against my spine as it desperately shoved me closer, but I quickly fought back, gripping his horns once more to give them a rough tap.

“NGH!” His tail slammed onto the mattress on instinct. I didn’t waste a single moment, crawling off the bed, and entirely out of his reach. “[NAME]!!!”

“I didn’t say you could speak to me so casually now, did I?” I took my sweet time, admiring just how beautiful he looked, sprawled out completely over the small mattress, arms and legs completely bound, leaving him desperate and wanting for my touch… Blotches of purple had long since been sprinkled upon his fair skin, barely visible in the dim lighting of the room from my earlier treatments. His tail smacked against the bed mere inches away from me, a clear sign of the man’s irritation.

“So impatient~ It hasn’t been that long now, has it?”

“It has! Now please, just let me come already… M…” His face was already flushed, but now it burned even more from shame, unable to bring himself to say the word. “... Please…”

He’d yet to submit, or say our safe word. How awfully stubborn of him…

“... Hm…” I returned to the bed, running my hand along the pitch-black scales of his tail. It quickly curled around my arm, the thick appendage almost completely concealing my forearm. “... No, I don’t think you’ve learned your place. Even your last punishment seemed more a reward than anything, if ‘this’ is anything to go by…” My free hand moved to his boxers, lightly poking the generous wet spot from where his precum had stained through. “Ha, there’s only a handful of times I think you’ve been this happy to see me~ … Or at least, I want to say, but we both know how much of a desperate little lizard you really are…”

“... I’m not a lizard.” That pout was far from intimidating, even as his tail squeezed further around my arm. “Don’t insult me as such.”

“Would you prefer to be called a dragon? You haven’t given me any reason to.” I gently tugged on the tip of his tail, the appendage uncurling from my arm, countless little indents left behind on my skin. “Dragons are proud, terrifying creatures, beasts that strike fear into the hearts of many… I see no dragons here. Only a pitiful little lizard that can’t even best a human, of all things…”

“That’s… Hmph, fine! Believe what you will! I won’t waste my time debating this with a pathetic human like yourself!” He rolled to the side, but was forced back in place, eyes wide in shock… Did he forget he was tied up for a moment…? “...” He turned away. He’s trying to hide himself in the pillow. Oh my god.

“... Pfft….” The tips of his ears were turning red, oh my GOD.

“... If even one peep escapes you, [Name], we are done here.”

] “THAT’S NOT FAIR!!! How can you expect me not to laugh when you act so cute~? I mean, just look at these~!” Within moments, my hands found his ears.

“Wait, don’t you DARE-” I gave them a playful tug. “G-gyah~! C-CEASE THIS AT ONCE!!!” His tail began to pound against the mattress, a sight I recognized far too well.

“Alright~ I’ll stop~” The moment my hands pulled away, he relaxed… Well, until he felt my breath hot against the shell of his ear, a shudder running through his entire being. “I’ll just do THIS instead!”

“N-no… Please…!” Gently, I took the very tip between my teeth, lightly nibbling against the cartilage. “ A-AH~!!!”

“Good Mal Mal~” I gave a light suck along the flesh, watching as his spine curled once more. (Oh how I ADORED just how sensitive his little ears were~) I couldn’t stop my eyes from wandering, however, to the bulge within his boxers, his cock twitching within it’s poor confines. “Mm… I really shouldn’t, but~ … I want this in me.” The moment my fingers dipped within the waistband, his eyes lit with hope.

“P-please… Please just let me come already!”

“I will, eventually.” I simply yanked the cloth far enough to free his shaft, unable to resist licking my lips at the precum that dripped along the scales. “So call me Master, like a good beast should.”

He bit his tongue, another glare… But the moment my teeth grazed his ears once more, the poor dragon cringed.

“MASTER! ... Please, just… Oh gods, just let me finally come, will you, damned human?!?!”

Oh, the THRILL that just gave me.
\
“Of course, Draconia… On one condition.” My hands worked swiftly, undoing his restraints, and inspecting for any wounds… Before tying his hands behind his back. He was dismayed, but still mostly relieved as I guided him against the headboard. “You’re going to sit here like a good dragon, and take what I give you. Try anything more, and you’ll be leaving this dorm without even a single farewell. Is that understood?” He clearly wanted to snap back, his pride already in tatters… But he leaned against the headboard, flopping his head back against the pillows we’d painstakingly taped to the wall in case it was needed. (Glad we did!)

“... Y-yes…” He stopped there, hoping it would be enough. It was not. “... Master.”

“Good dragon~” I didn’t bother to remove most of my clothing, only tugging away at my underwear and slacks before climbing back onto the bed. I could care less where they landed on the floor, more focused on climbing into the fae’s bare lap. “Remember~ I wanna hear everything… How else am I supposed to know if you’re enjoying this?”

“I… It’s…” I was so sure he was still going to fight back, but even so, I had no intentions to punish him this time. “... Of course I enjoy this… (...Because it’s you…)”

… Oh… He really was just too cute…

“You know… They say flattery gets you nowhere, but… Just this once, I can make an exception~” My hands moved to his black, trailing my fingers lightly along the tiny bumps that just barely began to peek out along his spine, a hiss escaping as I passed each one. Soon enough, I reached his hands, uncaring of the wasted effort as I unlatched the strap. “You can have these back, but I still expect them to stay put unless given explicit permission. Is that understood?”

“Yes, human…” His hands had already found their way to my hips. I gently tugged them away.

“I’ll ignore that one.” He growled, but it was more akin to a distraught dog’s whine than anything worse. “Don’t get such an attitude with me, mister!”

“Just hurry up, already!”

“Hehe, I’ll ignore that too, but only because I’M getting tired of waiting, mind you.” I snatched the lube from atop the nightstand, making sure to pour a generous amount over his shaft. It felt almost freezing, but it was a small price to pay for something so big. “Honestly, I really should wait a lot longer to prep myself, since I spent so long teasing you… But I really can’t wait any longer.”

I crawled up, my heat mere inches away from his cock. Taking it into my hands, I lined myself up, hoping I wouldn’t regret such rashness later. I took another glance at the fae, finding his green eyes directly on mine… I could recognize them as his own, yet there was a feral look to them that could trick me otherwise, had I not already known about his shapeshifting abilities. (… Well, even if I hadn’t known about them, it was a bit obvious by now.)

I paused just a moment longer, taking the time to admire the cool scales that now lightly scattered along his body, almost akin to freckles, to those cute fangs that had now grown into a full maw of sharpened teeth… His tail had slithered around my leg, lightly tugging down in encouragement, but I ignored it for just a moment longer, admiring the adorable pout on his face…

I practically had to crane my neck to see it, with how large he’d gotten. (I’d never get over how endearing it was, watching him lose control of his powers…)

His tail tugged on me again, a low growl emitting from deep within his throat.

“Alright, alright~ I’ll give you what you want~”

With that, I pressed the head into my folds, already wincing from the heavy pressure that came with its size. It didn’t exactly hurt… But it was uncomfortable, and I knew later on there would be some pain with it. (Such a thing was inevitable, but nothing some patience wouldn’t help.)

“Ha…” His head flopped back against the pillows, hand moving to cover his mouth. I decided not to mention it, as long as they remained off me.

“Good boy~” He glanced away, a slight tinge of red sparking across his pale skin. I carefully took a bit more of him in, that sweet pain from his girth starting to kick in. “Ngh… A big boy too~ I don’t think there’s a single man in this world that can fill me like you do…” About halfway, I was forced to stop, the discomfort becoming a little much for now. His hands were clutching onto the sheets below, poor things completely torn to shreds beneath his grip. I was a bit dismayed, wanting to give them some attention, but I could always improvise.

“Hey, you.” I tapped on his tail. It reluctantly unfurled from my thigh, but trembled in excitement when I brought my hand to the soft underbelly of it, slowly dragging my nails along it’s ridges.

“Ngh-s-stop that at once, human!!!” His head slammed back against the pillows, fangs piercing his bottom lip in a vain effort to stop his cries… Yet the tail curled closer to me, almost smacking against me as it craved more of my touch.

“Remember what I said, Draconia… You’ll take what I give you.” The tip of his tail flickered close to my face. I took it within my fingers, soft rubbing the spot where the underbelly transitioned to hard carapace. He began to squirm, feeling my hot breath against that very spot as I brought it close. “Unless you’d prefer me to play with your horns more, that is…”

Dead silent. The only response was his ears, lowered in shame and bright crimson.

“... Oh, Mal Mal… Just what am I going to do with you…” Before he could speak, I pressed a kiss against his tail, the appendage thrashing within my grasp. “Tell you what. I’ll play with your horns some, alright? But ONLY if I’m satisfied…” I released his tail, another low growl escaping, but it quickly shifted to a whine as I took more of his cock within me, my own composure beginning to snap at that intoxicating fullness I’d so desperately craved…

(At this point, I really was sure he’d ruined me for any other man… Or fae, as well.)

It was a bit foolish, but I forced myself down, ignoring the stings of pain that perked up until I felt his own hips pressed firmly against mine. Tears began to prick at my eyes, and in that very moment, he seemed to regain some of his senses, his eyes shifting back to that familiar green that seemed overly sweet.

“Child of man, are you alright?” His voice was so quiet, hushed… Nothing like the feral whines and barks from mere moments before. He ignored my rule, a thumb moving to carefully wipe away my tears, his brows knit in dismay as more simply followed… I took his hand, gently kissing against the scales along it.

“I… I’m fine… It’s just… A lot…” He didn’t look convinced. It was a bit awkward, but I managed to reach far enough to wrap my arms around his lithe waist, pulling him close into a hug. “... Just hold me like this for a bit. I’ll be fine, I swear.” His arms practically swallowed me whole, yet it was a comforting feeling, as was the head resting atop my own.

“... You really shouldn’t overdo these types of things, human… You’re so fragile, after all…” It was meant to be chastising, yet he sounded more like a petulant child than anything.

“I know… It’s just so hard to resist you, you know?” He scoffed.

“That’s no excuse.” … Well, that’s what he said, but his tail shivered at my words.

Really, I already wanted to continue, but I knew he wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so until an AGONIZING amount of time had finally passed, when he was completely sure I’d molded to his size… It was endearing, but… Admittedly torture of it’s own, after so much prior build-up. Even if I looked up, wanting to ask to continue, he’d give a strict pout, and simply shove me closer into his chest with a huff…

So I forced myself to be content (which… Admittedly wasn’t too difficult,) trailing my hands along the arch of his back, the bumps from before much more prominent, before taking a lock of inky, midnight hair into my hands, mindlessly playing around with it. A quiet purr began to rumble within his chest, yet from so close, it felt almost deafening…

… I wasn’t sure how much time had passed by, but surely by now it had to at least be over five minutes… I tried shifting on his hips, only for a pair of claws to force me back in place. I glanced up, finding his eyes still closed in content.

“... Mal Mal, we can continue.”

“Mm.” … I waited for more of a response, but there was none.

“... Remember, your hands aren’t supposed to be on me, Malleus.”

“Mhm.” They didn’t move.

“... This is on purpose, isn’t it.” He really tried to fight off his smile, but it was to no avail… Really, if he decided to take this route, there was nothing I could do about it, not unless he was bound to the bed again. It didn’t stop me from trying again, prying away his claws (and failing to do so,) before trying to just crawl off his lap. Predictably, I didn’t get far, and his tail gave a light slap onto my thigh.

“MALLEUS!!!” He rolled over, trapping me further within his arms as we now laid on our sides, his head resting atop my own once more. “YOU JERK!!! YOU SAID I COULD HAVE CONTROL TONIGHT!!!”

“I did.” A hand moved to my lower back, making sure to keep me firm against his hips. “... But you called me a lizard, child of man, and my feelings are a bit hurt from that… So we shall simply sit here for a while, and see how long it takes for you to apologize.” His cock was still hot and thick within me, twitching so wantonly… I wanted so badly to feel it move within me, yet I knew from the looks of things, that apparently wouldn’t be happening anytime soon…

“... You’re being a bad boy, Mal Mal… Bad boys don’t get their horns played with…” He wasn’t bothered in the slightest as he nuzzled against me.

“I seem to recall someone saying they’d play with my horns if ‘they were satisfied,’ not for good behavior… So no worries, human, I’ll be plenty sure to leave you writhing beneath my touch further within the night~” One of his hands shifted back, human fingertips brushing along my skin as they wandered between my thighs, before landing on my clit. “For now, however… You’ll be a good human, yes? And take what I give you…”

Gently, they began to circle my clit, his grin growing wide as I began to squirm beneath his grasp…

“... I-I’ll remember this, Malleus…!” I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling his pinch the small bundle of nerves.

“Hm… I hope you do, [Name]~”

Chapter Text

“...?” His pen ceased, a single brow raised as I grabbed his hand from where I lay on his bed. “... Hmph~” Yet, he accepted the command, switching the pen to his other hand, to lower the former closer, allowing me to hold it.

He didn’t say much else. Just smiled, before returning back to his work.

I shifted from my spot to face him easier, gazing down at the lone hand within my grip. His hand was large, completely dwarfing my own, yet despite that… It was still slim, almost… Delicate, in a strange way… Though we were in Diasomnia’s dorm, he wore the normal uniform, since classes had ended not long ago, and we’d simply seen no need to change out…

… Which let just the slimmest view of his delicate wrist visible to me.

“...~”

I snuck a peak at him, finding him still focused intently on his work. Slowly, I ran my thumb along the sides of his palms, catching his brief shudder. Ebony lashes fluttered shut, the fae taking a moment to compose himself, before his pen started up again. However, it was clear from it’s scratching that his former composure had dwindled.

“...~~”

Wanting to see more, I brought my other hand along, holding his hand firm before dragging my fingertips along his inner palm, a featherlight touch that made him suck in a breath. His pen stopped once more, eyes shut in slight frustration as he willed himself to ignore the soft touches… Yet from the way he bit at his lower lip, I could tell it was a losing battle.

“...~~~”

He was finally beginning to relax. Hesitantly, he grabbed his pen, a slight tremble to his hand, and placed it against the parchment, scratching slowly… Unsure… I’m sure that if those eyes had dared a glance at me, they’d find a cruel grin at his suffering… Finally, he’d gotten used to my touches, his shoulders relaxing. Though it clearly still overwhelmed him a bit, he was at the point he could continue his work.

And of course, I couldn’t let THAT happen.

“... (A-ah…~!)”

With no warning, I dipped two of my fingers into the taut leather of his gloves, his skin like ice against my own. He melted into his seat, pen tossed away without a care to allow his free hand to slap over his mouth, the light tinge of pink that once dusted his ears now a bright crimson that covered even the tips of his ears.

“[N-Name]...!” With a smile, I brought his hand to my lips, placing a chaste, delicate kiss to the top of it, before trailing more along to his fingers. “Ngh…!”

And then, once I reached the very tip of them, I gave the tiniest of nips, not enough to break skin, but simply to give a slightest tinge of pain.

… And just like that, the fae before me shut down, completely overloaded from my attack.

(… Which only left him open to more ambushes…~)

Chapter Text

“(Quiet, beloved, lest you desire for us to be caught…)”

I tried, yet the feeling of his cock, hard and thick within me, was making it quite the tedious task… And he’d yet to move.

“... Ha… Ha… M-Malleus…”

“(Shh.)” He held me close, cold lips placing featherlight-kisses along my nape, yet the sharp bite of his mask accentuated their love with pain, a reminder of just what was at stake. “(Once we retire for the night, you may sing to your heart’s content… For now, persevere.”

“(B-but the ball-)” He snapped his hips up, but before I could cry out, two fingers, long and clad in the finest leathers of Wonderland, forced themselves past my lips, cutting off the sound. In shock, I bit down on the digits, yet he didn’t flinch… From fear, at least. If anything, the shudder than ran through my lover’s being seemed to imply quite the contrary.

“(It can wait! All evening, I haven’t been able to tear my gaze away from you…)” He paused, a grunt escaping as he began to slowly grind against me, his free hand threatening to crack the wall it rested upon as it gripped onto it. “(Wearing that, of all things… It could lead one to believe that this was your intention, to drive me mad with desire... Was it, human?)”

For the life of me, I couldn’t imagine what he was talking about.

He’d seen this dress multiple occasions before, hell, he’d even HELPED me to pick it out, and I wasn’t dragged into an empty hall and fucked then… So what was it about tonight that made things so different? It couldn’t have been the mask, since we’d also revealed them, so we’d be able to find each other at the ball…

Taking a glance to the side, I found my own gaze reflected back, the window just a stone’s throw away that would reveal the countless crowds beneath, all enjoying the ball’s activities… And I found his own, not looking into mine, but at the delicate necklace that rested upon my exposed collar.

Suddenly, it all made sense.

-----------

“Beloved?” He peered into the room, stoic as ever… Yet, I could see the way his eyes shimmered in delight, and the cute tilt of his ears once he spotted me. “There you are! … Though, I supposed I should have assumed as such… Ah, may I…?”

“Of course!” A bit childish, but I pat the seat next to me. He wasted little time, settling down into the sofa. One leg crossed over the other, and his hands rested comfortably in his lap, a brow raised as he peered over into the book I read. Yet, he made no move to inquire about it, or anything else, for that matter. He would only glance away on occasion, face pulled taut into a frown as if a deathly problem plagued him, and he was deciding if his tattered pride was worth possible assistance…

“... Hmph~ Even after all this time, you haven’t changed, huh, Tsunotaro?” My book snapped shut, tossed aside on the coffee table. When I met his gaze, his deathly cheeks had gained a hit of flush to them, and though he still looked cross, it had become more of a childish pout now.

“Should I take offence to such words?” I took his hand, and he immediately relaxed, shoulders losing their stiffness, and lips turning into a light smile.

“Of course not, you know they’re said with nothing but love.” Large fingers entwined with mine, almost a bit awkward due to their size, yet it only caused my own heart to flutter. “...Now… Are you gonna tell me what’s going through that head of yours, or are you gonna continue sitting here sulking until I force Lilia to pry it out of you?”

“I request you don’t. I fear he would never allow me to live down such humiliation…” He laughed, a hint of exhaustion to it, yet he seemed much more confident now. “... I have… Thought quite a bit, about what I’m going to do at this moment.”

“And that is?” A brief pause, hesitation.

“... Childish as it may be… Would you close your eyes for me, [Name]? For just a moment.”

“Tsunotaro… You’re ALLOWED to be childish, you know?”

“Hmph, the court’s nobles would fail to agree.” I rolled my eyes, yet smiled, bringing his hand to my lips for a light kiss, before closing my eyes. I felt his hands rest upon my shoulders, gently guiding my back towards him, before retreating. A few moments later, something light and cold fell upon my skin, and I knew it could only be one thing…

“... May I open my eyes?”

Silence. I knew he hadn’t left, I would’ve noticed as such, but I still couldn’t help but hold some concern, knowing it wasn’t like him to leave me unanswered… So I could only hope he’d forgive me.

“... Ah…” His eyes were wide as saucers, sparkling with a shine I’d never seen. When I looked down, I found a necklace resting upon my collar. It was a simple, yet clearly expensive piece, a bright-green gemstone as it’s centerpiece, almost reminiscent of a dragon’s eye…

“... Malleus, it’s…” Carefully, I touched the pendant, admiring the intricate designs of it. “It’s beautiful… I…”

“... Yes?” He seemed… Almost hesitant, to ask.

“... I can’t… I can’t accept this, this is… This is FAR more valuable than someone like me, it’s-”

“NONSENSE!” I flinched, hearing his voice boom, and he clearly regretted it. “... Apologies, I… Did not wish to frighten you.” Now his hands took mine, their cold comforting against my warmth. “... You are my beloved, none else but you, and as such… You deserve all of the world’s treasures, it’s sights, it’s people… Yet, I can offer you none of that.”

“... Malleus…” He looked away, face grim.

“... I am a prince, the HIGH prince, of the Valley of Thorns. There is little here for someone such as yourself. We lack the sun of the Sands, the nights of the Savannah… Even our nature fails to capture the wonders of the Rose… Yet, I still desire to have you by my side. Waking up to your smile, I have no need for the sun, nor the stars of the nights with your the shine of your eyes, and your love… Not even the roses could hope to compare to the passion it fills me with…

Yet, despite all this, I have nothing to offer you in return. Nothing but a kingdom that lacks all, and burdens that none else should carry… And you’ve stayed alongside me, despite that.”

“Of course I have, Malleus, because…” My throat grew taut, but not from reluctance. From sadness, of knowing he’d felt this way, and having the courage to share such thoughts anyway, despite how selfish they may have seemed. “... I love you. Even if it may have none of those gifts the other lands have been blessed with, I still wouldn’t hesitate to take your hand over them.”

He smiled, and for a moment, I felt as if he were trying to hold back tears…

“... Of course. For me to even doubt as such for a moment… Surely you’ll forgive me, my beloved [Name].”

“You know I do, Mal Mal.” I gave his hand another kiss. “So… I suppose I’ll have no choice but to accept your gift… But ONLY if you tell me how much you spent on it…”

“... Spent?” He thought hard, before laughing. “Oh, you seem to misunderstand, child of man! No amount of Madol could purchase a gift worthy of you! This… Is a gift, from the heart.”

“... The heart???”

“... Perhaps I should be more specific.” His fingers carefully took the pendant within his hands, it’s shine reflected back into his own eyes. “As I’m sure you are aware… There is very little as precious to a dragon as it’s hoard. To many, it’s considered as vital as their heart, if not further… Which is why many would rather succumb to death, rather than part with even a single coin of it.”

“... And you are no exception?” A smile.

“Of course not. My hoard just happens to be smaller than most. It’s not as if I could claim the entire royal treasury as such, you know?” The pendant was released, his hand moving to playfully tug at a strand of hair. “My hoard is small, yet that makes it no less valuable… If anything, it’s more so, as I’m QUITE picky of what is allowed… Few have had the privilege to lay gaze upon it, and fewer have been allowed to touch. So, for a dragon to grant either… It’s an honor that many fail to comprehend.”

I touched the gemstone again, a tight feeling welling up within my chest.

“So… This necklace…” He leaned forward, a small kiss left upon my forehead.

“It is my gift to you. A gemstone from my ‘heart,’ that I allow to be worn by none other than you… I do hope you adore it, as I was QUITE anxious, allowing the jeweler to touch it so it could be crafted into the fine piece you wear today.”

I had no idea what to say… Or really, what I even COULD say… There was nothing I could ever hope to do to try and show that I shared those very same feelings towards him…

So I kissed him. Again, and again… Until the tips of his ears tinged red, and our breaths grew hoarse, and hoped that somehow, just somehow… He understood perfectly what I meant…

-----------

“(You’ll take it, won’t you? Since you have no qualms of telling the world who you belong to on a night such as this… You’ll take no issue taking my seed inside, yes?)” His voice still retained it’s gruff edge, yet was thick with desperation, his hips beginning to stutter as he came close to completion.

“(A-ah… Yes! YES!)” Fangs nipped at my shoulders, placing light kisses between, all along the cool silver of the necklace. His mask had long-since been tossed away, so all that remained was the sweetness “(Inside, Malleus! Make me yours, inside AND out…!”

Once more, his fingers were thrust into my mouth, and I felt a sharp pain.

“M-MMPH…!” His fingers were sure to have marks left upon them, sure to compliment the bite left on my shoulder as he finally came, thick, hot seed pouring into my womb as his hips continued to rut against me, desperate to ride it through. His hand left the wall, diving between my thighs to rub furiously at my clit, and I could feel my focus wavering from the overstimulation.

“Mmm… Mmph…!” His fangs finally released me, his snake-like tongue gently cleansing the wound of blood, all while leaving more kisses upon it.

“(J-just a little more… I know you can, my beloved…!)” He grit his teeth, burrowing his face within my back as his own pleasure was becoming too much. “Come for me! Come for your mate! Let all who wander know just who is the one with the pleasure to breed you like this, to pleasure you like this… To WORSHIP you like this…”

There was an echo to his voice, and even in the moment, I knew it wasn’t from the halls.

“TELL THEM, [NAME]!!!” At that moment, the heat within me snapped, my body trembling as I was forced over the edge by the dragon’s cruel treatment… Yet there was no other place I’d rather be.

“M-MALLEUS!!!!!!”

I could only hope that no one heard my scream as I fell apart, held up only by his strong arms that refused to let me free from his grasp.

“Good human… MY human…” His fingers continued to guide me along, yet they’d grown gentle. It still brought a slight tinge of pain, with them, however. “So perfect, so beautiful… And all for me…”

Eventually, I found myself lowered to the ground, my upper half resting upon his own. My outfit, though not torn through his restraint, was still crumpled to high-hell, a clear sign of what had transpired between us two if we somehow weren’t heard. Despite the exhaustion setting in, I managed to peer up, finding my own partner just as tired, and smiling down at me… Though, he quickly grew bashful, looking away with a cute pout.

“... I… Apologize, for being so uncouth.” I rested my head back against him, nuzzling into his chest.

“If you’re REALLY sorry, you’ll carry me back to our room… I’m exhausted, you know~” We both laughed, the fae leaning down to gently nuzzle against my head.

“Of course, excuse my horrid manners as well, beloved… Ah, perhaps I shall bathe you as well, as a show of good faith?”

“... Hm…” We both already knew the answer, but keeping the suspense was fun, too. “... i suppose… But ONLY if you share it with me.” My hand was taken once more, his eyes sparking with desire once more as he noticed the silver ring upon my finger, a familiar green gemstone upon it.

“... O-of course… I would love nothing more, [Name]...” With that, he pressed a small kiss along my fingers, unable to resist the urge to nip along them.

“... And perhaps, if the night allows it… You shall allow me to show my adorations for you once more…”

Chapter Text

The alarm blared, and on instinct, I smacked it off.

The room was pitch-black, the dim interior doing little to allow more light in the way… Yet I knew not to let looks deceive… (Last time I did, I ended up with a stern lecture from Trien for being late to class…)

… The bright side is that it was the weekend. Downside? I, like an idiot, made plans for the morning. On a weekend.

“... Mmghm…” It was six. We needed to leave by seven if we wanted to make it in town to be in line early, and even then, we’d be testing fate… If we couldn’t get tickets for that concert next month, Ace would NEVER shut the hell up about it… Saying stuff like “man, REAL friends would’ve fought that one guy for HIS tickets… Right~?” or other morally grey jokes that would lowkey feel TOO suspiciously grey to be jokes…

… I didn’t have time for this, I could feel my eyelids growing heavy again… But before I could leave, long arms, kept warm only from the weighted blanket’s graces curled around me.

“... Dearest..” … Well, damn it.

“No.” A head buried into my shoulder, lips almost deathly cold kissing along my shoulder.

“... Beloved.” Exhaustion was thick within his voice, a hand coming to hold mine before I could try to wave him off.

“Nope.”

“... Treasure.” I fumbled for the corner of the blanket (a difficult task, mind you, dragon asides. (His blanket was… Not light, to say the least…)) tearing it open. Immediately, cold air seeped in, shocking the beast, and I took advantage of it, yeeting myself out onto the floor.

I didn’t even need to turn back to know he was pouting, but I did, finding him QUITE upset with the blanket quickly tucked back into place, with only his head visible.

“... [Name].”

“Like I TOLD you Malleus… If I don’t get those tickets today, I WON’T be getting them ever…” Still upset. Well, life was full of disappointments tragically, and today he would be dealing with some of those. “I promise I’ll come see you later, okay?” I quickly pulled a change of clothes from my bag on the table, not wanting to risk the man succeeding in making me stay for even a moment longer than planned. From the corner of my eye, I could see his cheeks puff up, eyes squinted as he waited for me to notice, but I pretended not to.

“...” They puffed up further.

“...” I ignored him as I slipped on my socks and t-shirt.

“...” Now he was just flat-out glaring, realizing this plan wasn’t working.

“...” I was glad I brought a hoodie, with how cold it’d gotten. That and my jeans were surprisingly toasty.

“... Well, if you refuse to stay from your own volition, I will have no choice but to abduct you for the evening-”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT, TSUNOTARO.” He smirked.

“Will you punish me for such a crime?”

“You damn bet I will!”

“Then name your consequence.”

“NO! Because the moment I DO, you’ll say something like ‘well, if that is the price I’ll have to pay…’ AND THEN YOU DO IT ANYWAY!!”

“Of course, after all, no price is too grand for more time with my beloved human, wouldn’t you agree?”

“UGH! You’re SO insufferable sometimes…” Smug, too. I could tell he was having the time of his life, right now. “I already committed to this plan, so if you REALLY want me to stay… Give me ONE good reason why I SHOULDN’T go, and I’ll stay.”

… He smiled.

… You know! Sometimes I should REALLY shut the fuck up.

“You should check the table, child of man.”

“... What? Malleus there’s nothing on the table but my bag-...”

“Yes? What is it, [Name]?”

“... No.” I reached out, and against my better judgement, picked up the tickets that DEFINATELY weren’t there before. “... No. NO NO NO.”

“You have your tickets, yes? So there’s no need to go into town today, correct?”

“TSUNOTARO!!!” He lifted the blanket back up, cringing at the cold.

“Come now, [Name]~ You know you desire it as well~”

“...”

“...~”

“You think you’re so smart, don’t you, Tsunotaro.” I tossed off my hoodie, flopping back into the oversized bed. Immediately, he wrapped around me, grinning like he’d won a million Madol.

“My plan worked, yes? So I very much believe so.”

“... You’re still getting punished for this.”

“Then I shall gladly accept it.”

… Sometimes, I really COULDN’T win against him… I suppose that’s what I get for falling in love with a DRAGON FAE, of all things...

Chapter Text

“... Hm…”

His eyes narrowed, and I struggled to recall if I’d ever seen a look so grim on the man’s face.

“... It’s the best I can offer, Malleus.”

“Is that so…” A smirk. “Well… I still believe you can offer more…” With that, he plucked a single [flavor] Starblast from my candy pile, placing it delicately onto the pile where my current trade offer resided.

“... You MONSTER...”

“Oh? I’M the monster, here? If I recall correctly, Child of Man… YOU’RE the one who’s offer is rather… Lacking, shall we say.” Without a chance for rebuttal, he pulled the pile close to him, making sure to tuck it safely behind him so I couldn’t reach it without a fight. “Even MY offer was quite generous, hm? A full-sized candy bar, yet the most you extended to ME was a few Mike & Tykes…”

“OH DON’T YOU EVEN GET STARTED!!!” He sat back, stabbing a straw into one of the few juice boxes we’d both acquired from Trick-or-Treating. “You gave me that chocolate bar because you didn’t LIKE that brand, so don’t try acting like a saint, Malleus!!”

“... Well, I STILL could have given it to someone else...” He took the most elegant sip I’d ever seen taken from a juice box, and for a moment, I envied his dramatics… But it was not enough to cease this battle.

“A. Accepting gifts from fae is a horrible idea, so most would probably reject it anyway. B. Would anyone in Diasomnia REALLY take it?” He raised a finger, ready to argue.

“Well...!” Except we both knew I was right. “... I suppose I have no ground to stand on, this debate…” He swirled his juicebox as if it were wine, looking the other way with a pout. “... However, my feelings are QUITE wounded from such cruel words… So, as punishment… I will be confiscating another Starblast, [Name]~”

“Don’t you DARE, Malleus…” A truly evil, wicked smile crept upon his face… And then he plucked not one, but TWO [flavor] Starblasts from my pile.

“WHEN WILL YOUR REIGN OF TYRANNY END?!?!”

“Never.” One was tossed onto his pile, while the other was gracefully unwrapped. For just a moment, his tongue slipped out, his eyes gleaming once he caught the scent of [fruit] in the air. “Now take your punishment like a good human, [Name]-”

“NEVER!!!”

“... Hm. Is that so.” The candy was tossed back, disappearing into nothing once it met his deadly jaws. “... Then I suppose this ‘tyrant’ has no choice but to punish you, for such hubris~” His drink was placed aside, and the fae stood up on his knees, slowly approaching. My body reacted before my mind could, shielding away my own hoard from the greedy invader.

“I’ll die before I let you conquer my hoard, Tsunotaro.” His ears twitched, the nickname bringing a smile to his face.

“Oh? Did you really think THAT was my plan?”

“... Oh no.” A growl. “NO!!!” There was no time to run. I was tackled to the ground (or, well… My mound of candy…), pinned beneath his weight, with no way to escape. “STOPPP MY CANDY’S GONNA GET ALL SQUISHED~!!!” His growls kicked up again, yet this time, they were quiet, constant… Almost akin to purring as he nuzzled his head against me.

“You should have thought about that before, beloved~”

“OR YOU COULD ROLL US OFF!!!” Suddenly, something ice-cold curled along my thigh… I didn’t need to look to know his tail had furled out, (Now, whether it was a conscious decision or not, I had no clue…)

“... Mm…” His tongue peeked out again. “I could… Yet this is…~” He rolled us over on the pile, leaving me laying above him, while his back lay against the pile. It looked uncomfortable, but… He had a look of utter satisfaction, eyes lidded and smile almost stupid as he nestled into the pile of candies, looking moments away from passing out.

“... Is it really THAT comfy??”

“Indeed… It’s…” His voice grew quiet, eyes beginning to close. “... Almost like my hoard back home…” … Oh. (Well that explained it.)

“... Well, if THAT’S the case…” For some reason, I hesitated with my next words. (If we went through with this, there was a chance I’d never get ANY candy, but…)

“...?” A single eye peeked open to acknowledge me.

“... Sorry, zoned out.” Ah, what the hell. He could have this, you know. As a treat. “I was just gonna suggest that if you wanted, we could just. Combine our candy to make one big pile.”

Instantly, he sat up, completely wide awake.

“You would… Combine our hoards…?”

“... Yeah? I mean, at the end of the day it’s just candy. The fun part was getting to spend the night with you.” He looked away, his face beginning to burst into a bright crimson. “... Did I… Break some sort of dragon or fae etiquette again?”

“Ah, well…” … Yep. I did. “Combining hoards is… Quite intimate, to put it lightly… (I do believe I’ve mentioned how fiercely protective dragons are of such things…)”

“(You have.)”

“(Yes, well…)” His tail was beginning to grow restless. “... Combining hoards is… Considered a proposal of sorts with some species… After all, to share something so valuable with someone with such ease is…”

“... Ah… In that case, then...”

… I had no right to do such a thing. After all, he was the Crown Prince of The Valley of Thorns, and I was… Well… Less than nobody, as far as this world was concerned… Even back home, I was…

“... [Name]?” I met his gaze. Though his blush remained, concern quickly overwrote it.

“... A-ah, sorry, I was just…” I forced a smile. “Embarrassed, you know…! It’s not every day you accidentally propose to someone, you know!”

“... Is that so?” My throat grew dry. I wanted to tell the truth, that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him, but…

“... Of course it is.” It was best not to wish for the impossible, and just enjoy the now. “... Well, since I can’t do THAT… How about… I just offer you my candy then? As a tribute.”

“... A tribute…” He thought about it, though traces of concern still remained. “... A tribute is acceptable.” Reluctantly, he removed himself from the pile, but it didn't matter. Within a few moments, we’d managed to shovel the pile into his own, and he returned to his sugary throne soon enough. (I tried to lay alongside him, but… My back was NOT agreeing with it, so I just took a seat next to him...)

“...” Now he lay on his stomach, face smushed against countless gleaming foils. “... [Name]... If it’s not too much to request of you…” He hand reached out, and without hesitation, I took it in my own. He purred in content, giving my hand a light squeeze.

“... Hmph, you ask for such silly things, you know?”

“As do you, Child of Man…” His eyes began to grow heavy again, his tail curling around as many chocolates as it possibly could. I tried leaning against the side of the pile, hoping I could at least get somewhat comfy for the time ahead, when I heard a voice, so quiet, that I was sure it was not meant to be heard.

“(... I would accept a proposal from you, accidental or not, [Name]…)” His hand gave another squeeze, yet it brought me no comfort… Even so, I squeezed back.

“(... I can’t let you do that, Malleus… Even if I wanted to, others wouldn’t.)” It grew quiet. Agonizing minute by minute passed by on the clock, and soon enough, I was completely sure he’d fallen asleep by now…

“...” To be sure, I peeked over my shoulder. Sure enough, his eyes were closed, and his breath was even, his hand still held firmly over my own.

“(... Oh, Malleus…)” A bitter smile crossed my face. Carefully, I took my hand from his, giving it a light kiss in apology before rising to my feet.

… I’d return later… Right now… I just needed a few moments to myself. (If he caught me crying… He’d never forgive himself, even if it wasn’t his fault in the slightest.)

“...” I glanced back one last time, before forcing myself out, grateful that for once, the Ramshackle floorboards didn’t creak under my weight.

“...” The moment the door closed, a single eye opened, illuminating the darkness around with a sinister green.

His whole life, he’d accepted his life would be boring, monotonous, unloved… It was his job, as Crown Prince… But now? Having tasted a happiness like this? … He would be damned if he let it pass without a fight.

Chapter Text

“... Pray tell, just WHAT are you two doing?”

“”... Uhhhhhh…”” [Name] and Grim exchanged a look, yet neither removed the sponge pressed to the human’s delicate skin. (Their upper arm, to be more exact.)

“Mind your business!”

“(Don’t be rude!!) … ANYWAY, don’t worry about it, Malleus.”

“...?” He stepped further into the pleasantly dreary kitchen of Ramshackle, soon finding his answer in the form of a colorful box laying atop the counter. (How he knew it was the answer? Simple. They quivered in fear as he held it high, reading the horrendous font.

“‘... Emoji Valentine’s Cards, 24-Pack… With Temporary Tattoos Inside.’”

“... Malleus…”

“YOU CAN’T HAVE ONE!”

“(GRIM, SHUT UP!!! … Oh, wait, has it been five minutes yet??)” The cat checked the clock.

“... IT HAS!!!”

“YES!!! Quick! Take the sponge off, I wanna see how it looks!!” Slowly, almost hesitantly, the dish sponge was removed… And where one pure, heavenly skin lay… Was now a tiny face with sunglasses.

“HA HA!!! I TOLD YOU IT WOULD WORK, GRIM!”

“... NYEGH…! NOW I WANT ONE!!!”

“Like I said, if it wasn’t for your fur, I would sha-”

“(MMHM.)” They jumped, turning back to the fae with a furious blush. (Really, he wasn’t offended, but…~ Seeing how adorably flustered they got… He would let them think so, just this once.)

“SORRY!! SORRY!! … A-anyway…~ What brings you here, Malleus??” Grim hopped to the opposite counter, pouring out the entire box of cards and tattoos, and began rifling through them, organizing them into piles of some sort…

… Well, it was none of his concern.

“Ah, I happened to be near, and decided to pay a visit.” Not a COMPLETE lie… (They didn’t need to know just how horribly he’d missed them…) “Can you blame me? It’s been such a DREADFULLY boring day… I figured my favorite human would have an interesting tale to tell, to solve such a conundrum…”

“... Ah… Now I feel bad… I legit have just been here messing around with Grim all day…”

“Well,” He took a seat at the counter, legs crossed elegantly. “I suppose that will have to suffice! Besides, I’d be lying to not acknowledge my growing interest in…” He gestured towards Grim, who snickered, holding up a tattoo with a face, cat ears like his own upon it.

“... Oh! I mean… They’re just temporary tattoos.”

“...?”

“... Oh my god have you never used one of these before?? GRIM!!!” Immediately, the cat flopped his entire body onto the pile.

“I SAID WE’RE NOT SHARING!!!”

“It’s an emergency Grim he’s never used one either.”

“If I can’t use one, HE can’t!!!”

“I’ll let you apply it to him.”

“... I get to choose the design too.” They glanced at the fae.

“... Why not? What harm could it possibly do?” Without a moment’s hesitation, the cat plucked a single, tiny white square from the pile.’

-----------

“I must say, Malleus! I’m pleasantly surprised your invitation was extended for once! It’s quite lovely, having you join us like this…”

“I concur, Vanrouge. It’s been too long since I’ve enjoyed a tea party such as this.” It was the truth. Silver was awake for once, a soft smile as he sipped his coffee, and young Sebek? Why, he practically TREMBLED in euphoria… (It was… A bit concerning, truly, especially as he was seated right next to him…) “... Pray tell, what IS this party being held for? Have I missed something…?”

“Oh, no such thing. Is it against the rules to simply hold one on a whim?”

“Hmph, of course not… I was just curious, is all.” He smiled, taking another sip from his cup… Yet, he found it hard to relax, glancing over to find Sebek doing the same, STILL trembling. “... Zigvolt… Are you in need of assistance?”

“O-OF COURSE NOT, MASTER DRACONIA!!! … I-I’m just…” Lilia chuckled, pouring another cup for himself.

“Excited? Over tea? Why, if I’d known you loved it so much, I would have found you a nice pot for your birthday, Sebek~!”

“T-THAT’S NOT IT AT ALL!!!”

“So you WOULDN’T appreciate a teapot from me…~?”

“THAT’S NOT IT EITHER!!! I’D APPRECIATE A TEAPOT FROM YOU VERY MUCH-”

… Within a blink of an eye, he suddenly found himself soaked, Sebek frozen in place, mid-point.

“...”

“... A-ah… Ahhh…!”

“... Well! This party suddenly became quite rowdy~” There hadn’t LOOKED to have been so much tea in one tiny cup… Yet it felt as if the whole POT had been dumped onto him. Sebek immediately stood tall, slamming down his cup (much to Lilia’s chagrin,) and bowed so low, his head nearly smacked against the table.

“I’M SO SORRY MASTER DRACONIAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!”

“It’s… Quite alright, Zigvolt…” Mistakes were inevitable for all, he supposed… (And it wasn’t as if it was from malice, either.) “I simply request you hold more caution when making outlandish gestures in the future…”

“OF COURSE, OF COURSE!!! … AH! HERE, LET ME WASH YOUR UNIFORM, SIR!!!”

“No need, I shall simply have it cleaned with the rest of my-”

“NO!!! … I need to atone, to be punished…! … AT LEAST LET ME WASH YOUR GLOVES-”

His blood ran cold, and before he could stop himself, he hid them beneath the table.

Tragically, the act (or could it be his gaze…) did not go unnoticed by Lilia.

“... Sebek, I shall be alright. If you truly desire my forgiveness, then I would prefer we continue this tea party once I’ve gotten a proper change of clothes.”

“... I concur, but I do suggest you indulge him, Malleus.” Lilia smiled, taking another sip of tea.

“... And what do you mean by THAT, Lilia…?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” His eyes held a dangerous glint to them. “The gloves, Malleus. Give them to him.” Malleus glanced at Sebek, who’s gaze held nothing but desperate pleas, and to young Silver who… Had fallen asleep, at some point or the other.

Either way, he had no allies.

“... On second thought… I’ve suddenly found myself to grow quite weary… I believe I shall retreat for the evening.” He stood tall, grabbing his staff from where it rested against the wall. “Good evening, gentlemen-”

“Malleus Draconia, if you don’t sit back in that chair this instant, you WILL be in SERIOUS trouble.”

“... Don’t order ME around, Vanrouge! I’M the House Leader, AND Crown Prince!!!”

“Sit. Down.” He shot a glare, and Lilia shot it right back.

“... Just so we’re all in proper understanding, I’m ONLY returning to my seat, because I WANT to.” The old wood creaked under his weight, and he crossed his arms with a pout.

“Whatever you say, Malleus… Now take them OFF.”

“...” With far more aggression than necessary, he peeled a single glove off, placing it onto the table. “There. A glove to wash. Are you content, Vanrouge?!”

“Of course not, don’t be silly. Do you REALLY expect Sebek to be properly punished by washing a SINGLE glove???” Sebek looked between the two, and snatched the glove off the table.

“ONE WILL DO-”

“No it won’t, Sebek. NOW TAKE THE SECOND GLOVE OFF, MALLEUS.”

“(... Mmgh…!)” He hid the second hand beneath the table, peeling off the wet leather, before dropping it onto the table. “THERE.”

“Thank you. Now show me your hands-”

“I AM NOT A CHILD WHO CANNOT BE TRUSTED TO WASH!!!”

“THEN WHY ARE YOU HIDING YOUR HANDS LIKE ONE?!?!”

“PLEASE MASTER DRACONIA!!! VANROUGE!!! LET’S NOT RUIN THE TEA PARTY!!!”

“Ruin? Oh, no worries Sebek, nothing will be ruined once he confesses~ … SO OUT WITH IT, MALLEUS!!!”

“THERE IS NOTHING TO CONFESS, VANROUGE!!!”

“YES THERE IS!”

“NO THERE IS NOT!!!”

“(Ahh… Aaaaaah…!)” He needed to stop this, but there was no stopping this… So he needed to SOLVE this… But… UGH! “(SILVER!!! SILVER, WAKE UP, IDIOT!!!)”

“...Zzz…” He grabbed the boy’s shoulder, giving it a violent shake. “HUH?! … Ah, I fell asleep during the party, didn’t I… (I was doing so well, too…)”

“(THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT!!! YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!!!)” Sebek scooted his chair closer to Silver, and away from Malleus, who looked moments away from Overblotting alongside Lilia. “(HE’S HIDING SOMETHING ABOUT HIS HAND, AND LILIA WON’T LET HIM ESCAPE UNTIL HE FINDS OUT WHAT!!!)”

“(... Is that so…)”

“(YES, NOW HELP ME!!!)”

“(... Alright, I have an idea.)” Silver moved his chair back, and got onto his knees, peeking under the table.

“(WHAT ARE YOU-)” He jumped up, smacking his head against the wood in the process.

“””SILVER!!!”””

“M-MILORD?!?!” Now Sebek looked under the table, ALSO smacking his head when he jumped up in shock.

“MASTER DRACONIA… YOUR PRECIOUS SKIN… YOU’VE TAINTED IT WITH SUCH HIDIOUS INK?!?!”

“... WHAT?!?!”

“... Pardon my departure, but I must leave-” His hand was snatched, and it was held up for all to see…

The bright, bold clown emoji tattoo right on the center of his hand.

“... Malleus~?”

“... I can explain, Lilia.”

(… He should NEVER have let that little menace pick out the design!!!)

Chapter Text

“... Go on Malleus. Make your play.”

“(... Nngn…)”

“... MAKE THE PLAY, MALLEUS.”

“DON’T RUSH ME.”

To many, his glare would kill them on the spot. It was vile, wicked… And full of malice that alone could tear you limb from limb…

… But really, the truth is it was more like a petty child who got refused treats as he carefully, CAREFULLY slipped the tips of his giant fingers between the Jenga blocks, flinching as the tower swayed. (... Man. Was THIS the power he felt whenever we played chess? This was ADDICTING…)

“(... Hah…)” For one more round, he was safe. The comically tiny block was placed to the side. With a smug grin, I grabbed another block with ease, and forced myself not to laugh at how his eye twitched in fury. “... You said this game was FUN, human.”

“You aren’t enjoying yourself? … Pity, I’M having a blast, spending time with you like this… (Of course, if you’d prefer to leave early, then-)”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT-” The old manor walls and furniture rustled from his voice, as did the tower. He smacked a hand over his mouth as we watched in anticipation to see if it would fall…

… It did not. Quickly, he swiped a piece, relaxing as it continued to stay in place.’

“... Absolutely not… My love for you is FAR greater than my hatred for this game… Now PLEASE, take your time-” I’d already swiped a piece, tossing it onto my pile.

“Your turn~”

“...” I smiled. It did nothing to wipe the pout off his face.

“... Do you ENJOY tormenting me like this, human? Do you derive some sort of sick, twisted pleasure from seeing me writhe in pathetic agony from these pathetic, wooden blocks?”

“... Do you want the truth?”

“I DEMAND it.”

“I see…” I thought hard about how I wanted to approach it. “... I’ll tell you on my next turn.”

“(... I see we’re REALLY testing my adoration for you, tonight, aren’t we?) … Tch.” He examined the tower, finding a piece near the top, and took a deep breath, using the tips of his nails to get into the tiny opening, and wrestle the piece out. With the most graceful slam I’d ever seen, it was placed neatly into his pile. “THERE. NOW may I have my answer?!”

“Yes.” I took out another piece. “I’m having SO much fun, that I think we should add this to our Game Night rotation-”

A sudden flash of bright, green light flooded the room.

“GYAH!!!” I blocked it with my eyes, hot, scorching warm overcoming my entire being… But only grazing it. Suddenly, it was completely gone… Slowly, I lowered my arm, and found a smug dragon, swiping away a small pile of ash off the table, a light trail of smoke seeping from his lips.

… With the Jenga blocks nowhere in sight.

“... REALLY.”

“Anyway, my birthday is soon to arrive, [Name]! … Though, I’m sure you haven’t forgotten such a thing~”

“I’m gonna remember this, you know.”

“Remember what, human? … Anyway, back on topic!” With a wave of his hand, the bottle of wine he’d brought popped open, and began pouring out a glass for himself. “This year, to INSURE your presence… I am personally extending an invitation to my birthday celebration MYSELF, (since no one in this academy can be trusted to properly do so… Hmph.)” He took a long sip, eyes twinkling at the old brew’s flavor. “... Would you care for a sip? Such a rare opportunity, you know?”

“Thank you, but I’ll be fine.” I nodded to my own glass of lemonade. “And thank you for the invitation. Now, is that ALL you ruined our game for? I won’t forgive you if it is.”

“... A-ah… Well…!” … It was. “... OF COURSE NOT!! … I… Was also curious as to what your gift for me shall be! (Yes, that’s it~!)”

“... Sure, Mal Mal.” I would let him get away with it this time. “... Admittedly, I’m a bit stuck again… I DID have something for you, but… I got stuck in a real bad bidding war for it, and… Lost.”

“Oh? Well, what could THAT have possibly been, to warrant such warfare??”

“... Uhhh…” … It would break his heart if I told him it was an old, official Gao-Gao Dragon-kun plush… “Nothing important! Anyway… Do you have a reason for asking? (Maybe even something specific in mind?)”

“... Well…” He swirled the glass, watching it with a noticeable disinterest. “Really, my one desire is to spend the occasion with you like the last…”

“... In that case, we could just make another date night, if you want! The party’s early enough this year, that we could probably hit your favorite ice cream parlor downtown after!”

“... I’ll admit, that’s quite an enchanting thought…” He chuckled, dangerously baring his fangs. “... And I believe since it’s the date of my birth, that they shall give me a special treat, as well…~”

“... So~?”

He stood up, slamming his hands on the table.

“PREPARE YOURSELF, [NAME]! WE DEPART AT ONCE!”

“... Malleus, your birthday’s TOMORROW.”

“... I knew that.” With flushed cheeks, he sat back down.

“(... Cute~)” He cleared his throat, face growing hotter. “... I do have ONE concern, though…”

“... Have I given you cause for such, as of late…?”

“No, not you… Directly, at least.” He raised a brow. “... Remember last year??”

“... Ah.” He grew pale. “You are… Referring to my heat, are you not?”

“Mmhm.” He took a large sip of wine, averting his gaze.

“That was nothing but an unfortunate fluke… However, just in case, I’ve already examined my cycles from the past year, and according to them, I should not be due for another until early February.”

“... Wait, when was your last one?? Hasn’t it been a while?”

“...” He took another sip, only to realize his glass was empty. “(...Tch…)” Quickly, he waved his hand, pouring out a second glass. “... I suppose it will be better to simply confess to it…”

“...???”I gestured for him to continue.

“Well, you see, [Name]... My…(... Cycles tend to be once every other month.)”

“... And the last time I helped you was-”

“(In August, yes.)”

“... MALLEUS!!!” His face was hidden beneath his palms. “I SAID I’D HELP YOU OUT FROM NOW ON!!!”

“I-I understand, but…! You’re just so FRAGILE, and SMALL… I’m fearful of the possibility of hurting you, and becoming so drunk within my own desires to even notice!!! (...Or r worse…)”

“... Hah… I guess I can’t blame you for that…” I placed a hand atop his own, finding a single eye peek through his fingers at it. “... I won’t force you, but you know, we could always try easing into things… Wouldn’t even a few rounds during your heats help significantly?”

“... I suppose…”

“Then we can start with that! And if you’re still worried… Then we could just try tying you to the bedpost or something.”

“... [Name]. Please silence yourself for eternity, lest you wish for my swift passing.”

“IT’S A DECENT IDEA… ANYWAY!” I stood straight, feeling completely invigorated. “That’s all talk for another time! Right now, I need to abandon you, because I. Still don’t have a gift for you and need to go before Sam’s closes so BYE-” He stood with me, quickly entangling an arm with my own.

“I SHALL COME WITH.”

“I’M BUYING YOUR BIRTHDAY GIFT!!!”

“I UNDERSTAND this, but, and this is important… I need an excuse to not return home, as it is… Taco Tuesday…” He shuddered, pulling me closer to him. “... So may you grant me this mercy, beloved? Light of my life? My one, true love-”

“Okay, OKAY! … You can come with~”

“(... Oh thank heavens…)”

(… On the bright side, picking out a gift should be easy enough, since he’d be able to give his opinion!)

-----------

It was the big day… And I was lost. (Again. (... WHY WAS DIASOMNIA SO BIG?!))

“(... Ugh, I KNEW I should’ve asked for directions earlier…)” Squeezing the box in my arms, I took another left, PRAYING that I’d find familiar grounds, or at least someone else. On the bright side, I wasn’t freezing! (The thick layers of the Diasomnia uniform I was lent insured that! (... Maybe I should ask if I can keep it for winters…))

… There was another hallway, looking EXACTLY LIKE EVERY OTHER HALLWAY.

“... MAAAAAAALLEUSSSSSSSSS!!!!!”

… Really, I knew no one would hear. You could commit murder in this damn dorm and no one would find out until they accidentally wandered across the body the next Tuesday-

“...!!!” … I’d NEVER heard footsteps so fast in my life. Before I could even turn around, a giant weight smashed into me, knocking the breath out of my lungs.

“GYAH!” I was shoved into a nearby closet, a hand forced over my lips, while the other held me firm against them, their body scorching hot against my own. “MMM!! MMPM MMFM!!!”

“(PLEASE, BE SILENT, [NAME]…!)”

“(... Mmhhfm???)” He made no effort to remove his hand, his breathing harsh, almost painful…

“... LORD DRACONIAAAAAAA!!!” … Ah. I see. “... LORD DRACONIAAAAAAAA!!!”

“... Sebek, I do not think Lord Draconia is here… Perhaps we should check another wing.”

“... UGH!!! Of all the days for him to vanish, why TODAY?!?!”

“Indeed… Perhaps he was feeling unwell…?”

“OF COURSE NOT!!! … If he was, then… THAT WOULD MEAN I DIDN’T NOTICE SOMEHOW!!!”

“... Maybe he was hiding it, to prevent us from worrying…”

“... AAAAAAAHHH… LORD DRACONIAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa…!!!”

… Even as he grew farther and farther away from us… I could still hear Sebek screaming… (... He sounded like he was about to cry…)

“(... We… Should be safe, for now, at least…)” He uncovered my mouth, yet didn’t release me. In fact, he pulled me closer to him, burying himself in my shoulder. “(... Beloved… Ahhh… My beloved…!)”

“(Are you alright, Malleus…?!)”

“(No! I have no idea how it’s happened, but…!” He took a deep sniff, a violent shudder wracking his body, yet he moaned in ecstasy. “(... I… Was in the Main Hall, and I’d stepped away for just a moment… I felt… Off, and wanted some fresh air…)” His hands fumbled with my jacket, before simply tearing it off.

Already, I had a feeling of where this was headed.

“(... I… I noticed it… It was faint, but I caught your scent… And suddenly, I could hardly breathe…)”

“(... Malleus…)”

“(Please.)” His hands moved no further, yet hovered dangerously, trembling with want. “(Please. Please, please, PLEASE… I need you, something, everything, hell, whatever you’ll give me, just help me breathe again…!)”

“(... You poor, little, thing…)” He whined, grinding his hips against me, and gently gnawed aling my shoulder. Even through the thick cotton, I could feel the dangerous, yet gentle point of his fangs. “(... Remember when I said I wouldn’t forget about Jenga?)”

“(... No.)”

“(Yes.)”

“(NO.)” I gently shoved him back, and looked for the light switch. It was blinding, at first, but still not horrible, considering how dim the bulb itself was.

… He looked horrible. His already pale skin seemed even MORE deathly so, and sweat dripped from it… His button-up and tie had long since been torn open in an effort to ease his breathing, and his gaze struggled to focus on anything other than me…

… Of course, I wasn’t going to LEAVE him like this… But I’d still have a bit of fun, first.

“(You want relief, right?)” I placed my hand along his face, his eyes growing sharp, before fluttering shut leaning into the touch.

“(Yes… Yes, yes, yes…)”

“(Then I’ll give it to you, but you’ll have to work for it.)”

“(Whatever you wish.)”

“(... Stand still. Touch me without permission, and I’ll leave.)” He whimpered, gripping the wall behind as I stepped close. Slipping my hands beneath his jacket, I smiled, feeling out the curves of his waist, cinched tight by his vest. “(... Mm… I liked your suit last year… But this is lovely too…~)”

“(... Do you… Want me to take it off…?)”

“(... No.)” He winced. “(However… I’m sure you’re quite uncomfortable down here… So I’ll be nice, and unbutton your slacks for you. After that, I want you on your knees, understood?)”

“(... Yes, [Name]...)”

“(Hmph, good boy~)” For the first time today, color filled his cheeks from the praise, so I couldn’t help but reward him with a chaste kiss as I fumbled with his belt, feeling his shaft twitch beneath the taut fabric as I worked it open, making sure to graze, but not touch. “(... Now down.)”

“...” He shut his eyes, but slowly fell to his knees. Even then, his height still showed, his face almost level with my chest.

“(... Okay, actually, just sit down I don’t think this is gonna work otherwise...)” He did, and NOW was at a more comfortable height for my plans. “(Perfect~)”

“(... [Name]...!)” Swiftly, I worked off my tie.

“(Patience, Draconia~)” Making sure it was clear of wrinkles, I wrapped it around his eyes, making sure it was secure, but not too tight. “(... Can you see?)”

“(Regrettably, no.)”

“(Good.)” I began to work off my own pants, relieved that I hadn’t begun to soak through them yet. “(Now… You’re going to show me just HOW much you want release… I want you to show me with just your mouth, and if even a SINGLE limb tries doing anything other than keeping me stable, I’ll leave you right here to handle your own urges. Is that understood, Draconia?)”

“(Y-yes…! Gods, yes…!)”

“(Good boy…~)” I stepped closer, his ears twitching at the sound as he sniffed the air, the tip of his tongue poking out to taste it. “(Now don’t disappoint me…)”

Hesitantly, his hands rose, pausing just before he touched my skin. I didn’t say anything, but softly ran a hand through his hair, watching as he leaned into the touch, before taking my leg, guiding it over his shoulder. He kissed along my skin, slowly, but with a desperation that gave away his true feelings as he made his way to my clit, a thick, heady moan parting his lips once he found my clit.

“(... I didn’t say tease me, didn’t I?)” Gently, I took his horns, pulling him closer.

“(A-ah…! No, no, not today, I beg of you-)” My nails ran softly along the rough ridges, the fae tossing his head back with a pathetic whine. “(N-ngh…~!)”

“(Keep going, unless you’d rather be punished like this.)” As I reached their base, I gently rubbed the hard plating between flesh and horn, his entire body jolting.

“(I’LL BEHAVE, I’LL BEHAVE!!!)”

“(Good boy, now prove it.)” With no hesitation, he held me close, kissing fervently against my lower lips, slipping out the tip of his pointed tongue to curl around my clit, before giving it a light, gentle suck. “(Mmn… Better…~)”

He relaxed, nuzzling against my thigh, and as punishment, I grabbed his horns again, tapping my nails along them.

“(Nggnh…!!)”He pulled me flush against him, claws digging into my skin with just enough pain as his tongue finally slithered into me.

“(Ah…!)” I reached deep, deeper than even his own fingers could, and immediately searched for that one spot that made me see stars. “(That’s it… Good boy…~!)” I tried grinding against him, but he held me firm. “(... Hey. Didn’t you forget who’s in change here-)”

All the air was suddenly knocked out of my lungs as I found myself thrown to the ground, held firmly beneath his weight.

… The tie had slipped off his eyes, chartreuse eyes, thick with uncontrolled desire as he watched me, licking his lips with a smile.

“(... Oh no.)”

-----------

“... Apologies, I… Seem to have gotten ahead of myself, earlier…” … My legs… My poor legs…!

“... It’s fine…” Even rolling over in bed… Felt impossible…

“...” He was bright red, even to the tips of his ears, yet it didn’t stop him from taking another spoonful of his sundae, topped with fudge, plenty of cream, and of course, a thick slice of cake, all with a cherry on top. Since I was… In no position to walk, he picked up ice cream for the both of us, after bringing me back to his room. “(... Thank you, dearest…)”

“... Hmph~ No problem…” To show him I REALLY wasn’t upset, I took a spoonful of my own treat that rested on the bedside table, holding it out to him. His eyes grew sharp, eyes quietly asking for reassurance, before leaning forward. His tongue slithered around the utensil, making sure to take every last bit of cream with it, before sitting back, looking FAR too thrilled with himself.

… I could only shudder, remembering just what he’d done to me with that thing earlier… (And the worst part was… I was already eager for more, later tonight…)

“... Wait…” He looked up, taking another bite of his own treat. “... It’s your birthday.”

“... Yes??”

“... Are Silver and Sebek still looking for you?!”

“...” He glanced to the door. “... They can wait a few moments longer, I cannot just abandon my sundae-” With horrible timing, someone rapped on the door, a suprisingly upbeat tune.

“... Malleus~ Are you in there?”

“”(...!)”” We both remained silent, hoping Lilia would leave.

“... Alright, let me rephrase that! … MALLEUS!!!” He winced at the tone, knowing he had no choice…

“(... I shall return to your side as quickly as possible, [Name], I swear it! … So… Pray for my well-being, will you? (... As for this… I suppose it shall just have to wait in the fridge…)”

Not wanting to risk Lilia lecturing ME, I just gave his hand a light kiss, his smile warming my heart…

(... Hopefully Lilia would have SOME mercy on his poor soul…)

Chapter Text

“... Hey. I have… A question.”

He looked up from his own work, the catering plans for the ghosts’ Halloween party. (Finding a ghost catering service was HORRENDOUSLY difficult this late in the holiday… But we’d (thankfully) managed, somehow…

“What is it, human? Do you require assistance with your own share of the planning?”

“No, not that… Uh…” … This was either going to be the funniest long-con ever, or my biggest regret in life. “... You’re great at music, right? Well, can you learn a song just by listening to it??”

“... Of course.”

“Alright… Well, how long do you think it would take to do that?”

“... Really, a few days at most, but only if it's a particularly complicated one. Is there something you would like me to perform for you?”

“... Well…~” I pulled out my phone, opening up ViewTube. “More specifically, there’s a song I’d like you to play once the Halloween party starts… You can say no, of course!!! … But it’d be REALLY funny.”

“... I will reserve judgment until I hear it.”

I had NEVER typed so fast in my life, finding the official audio of the song, and letting it play out for him. He closed his eyes, ears twitching on the occasion as he listened to it’s beat, face impassive the entire while…

“... So…?” He waited until the song ended, a hand to his chin in thought.

“... I’ve never heard this song before… Yet… It’s quite fascinating… Merely listening to it, I feel a sense of dread, as if I’m being forced to acknowledge the culminations of my sins upon this mortal realm, and confront them, lest I wish for my grisly demise… While I think it may be a bit TOO serious in tone for a simple Halloween party… I can’t deny it, I do wish to perform it for our peers!!!"

“YES!!! … OH! BUT! … You can’t tell ANYONE about it, alright?! It’s GOTTA be a surprise!!”

“... Very well!” He rose to his feet, holding his hand out to me. “Come, human! We depart for my organ at once!!!”

“HELL YEAH!!!”

… Oh I was gonna die for this but it would be worth every fucking second of it.

-----------

“...”

They were all silent, still reeling from the shock of tonight’s events. (I couldn’t BLAME them really.) Malleus simply smirked

“... NOW REJOICE, STUDENTS OF NIGHT RAVEN COLLEGE, AS THE TIME FOR MERRIMENT IS UPON US!!!” A few of the students (like Kalim and basically everyone from Diasomnia) decided to just accept it, and did. (I mean, we’re at NRC, something like this might as WELL happen.) “HAPPY HALLOWEEN~!!” With a smile, he made his way up to the organ, pausing on his trek only to glance with confusion at the tripod I was setting up. “(... [Name], when did you acquire that-)”

“(Don’t worry about it now go play!! I’m super excited to hear you, you know~!!)” … It was TRUE, I really was. (He’d been working hard.) His ears tinted red, the fae turning away, not wanting emotions to affect his performance too badly.

“(V-very well…! Though, I SHALL be questioning you about this later…)”

“(Love you.)”

“(... I love you as well, beloved…)” He stepped away, but quickly turned back, giving my hand a chaste kiss, before taking a seat on his organ.

“... A-ah…! Lord Draconia… HE’S GOING TO PERFORM!!! … SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO EVERY SINGLE NOTE, YOU UNGRATEFUL HUMANS!!!”

“(... Ain’t this dude super old?? Is he gonna start playing funeral tunes or something??)”

… Oh, just you wait, Ace…~

“...” He took a deep breath, cracking his fingers. Whether or not the student liked him, or even cared about Halloween, they were all silent. (The only sound heard, was Cater’s phone, a beep as he started to record.

Three notes were struck, a dramatic, haunting crescendo, that swept through the souls of all in the room… From next to him, Lilia smirked, his guitar ready… (When he’d found out about my scheme, I was SO sure he’d stop us… Instead, he was mad we never INVITED him.)

“*... Do-*”

Not even the second note had played, and everyone screamed, instantly recognizing Megalovania.

Chapter Text

Not a new chapter (F lmao) but I just wanted to say...

HELLO???? YA'LL THERE'S ONLY 11 CHAPTERS???? Don't get me wrong I'm VERY thankful (but also I'm VERY confused on how this happened especially since I feel like I struggle with writing Mal Mal compared to my other boys ksmkms) but ANYWAY.

I just wanted to take a moment to say, thank you very much for all your support so far. It means a lot to me that out of all the fics out there, you took the time to read my own. (An extra thank you to those who comment, because honestly. Some of your comments are WILD and I love it.) Anyway, thank you again, and I hope you have a nice day/night!!

Chapter Text

“... Look, I can EXPLAIN-GYAH!!!” In all honesty, I had NO clue how I’d managed to dodge that blast of fire, but I knew I’d be lucky to do it again. “C-COME ON NOW!!! I SWEAR, I DIDN’T THINK THINGS WOULD GO THIS FAR-”

“FOR THREE MONTHS…” I cringed at the student’s shout, looking to the ground. (There was nowhere else to look, unless I wanted to face a different, furious Diasomnia student. “WE HAVE NOT LIVED IN PEACE. STUDY HOUR!? MEGALOVANIA! TEA PARTIES?! MEGALOVANIA!!! ON THE ORGAN, ON THE CELLO… FUCK, EVEN ON ONE OF THOSE OTAMATONE THINGS!!! (... ALSO WHO THE HELL EVEN BOUGHT HIM THAT?!?!)”

“(I think it was a joke gift from one of the House Leaders for his birthday…)”

“(... Well, we can’t do anything against THEM…) … ANYWAY!!!” Before I could run, two of the students grabbed my arm, holding me securely in place.

“G-guys…! I swear, I didn’t know he would love Megalovania THIS MUCH!!! If I’d known I wouldn’t’ve-”

“Nah. It’s WAYYYY too late for apologies… One little ‘sorry’s’ not gonna get me back all those years of my life I’ve lost…” His pen spilled between his fingers, a trick even I in the current moment acknowledged as cool… Until it pointed straight towards me. “The cat might’ve gotten away, but we can always lure him out with a few sardines later-”

“HE LIKES TUNA!!!”

“DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?!?! … Ugh, let’s just get this over with!! (Before they sell out of grilled sandwiches in the cafeteria…)” I glanced to the other students, begging, pleading silently… But neither of them budged. (Really, they just twisted my arms HARDER… Jackasses…)

… Hah… To think, after all this time… All these horrible people, all these Overblots… What ultimately killed me was Sans Undertale’s absolute banger of a boss track…

“... Heh. Any last words, [Last Name]?” As the flames flickered from the tip of his pen, there was only one thing I could say…

“I absolutely regret NONE of this. (I even hope he gets a kazoo, now.)”

“... You know what. Just for that I’m just gonna punch you myself~!” I smiled.

“I don’t think you wanna do that, man.” Seeing the man approaching us, Grim by his side, the students restraining me froze.

“Really? NOW you wanna talk back?! … Heh, you REALLY haven’t learned anything about NRC, have you?!”

“(Dude, shut the FUCK UP!!!)”

“(SERIOUSLY!!!)”

“HELL NO!!! Are you guys SERIOUSLY chickening out now?!?!” The two shared a look, and my arms were freed, their hands raised in the air as they quickly backed away. “... UnBELIVEABLE!!! FINE!!! I’ll just do it MYSELF, then!!!” The man paused right behind him, staff smacking harsh against the cold stone path. Now, the student froze, terrified to look back…

Yet he didn’t have to. We could all feel the sheer strength of Malleus’ aura.

“... Pray tell… What IS it, that you plan to do, Child of Diasomnia?”

“U-uh…” I gave him a smug smile, though winced. (My arms were in agony after all the manhandling…) “I-we were just… Playing around!!! Right guys?!?! … Guys…?”

The other students had already ditched. (Well! That was NRC!)

“... You will report to Vice House Leader Vanrouge immediately, and explain your crimes. We shall discuss a proper punishment for you upon my return. Am I understood?”

“... Y-yes, House Leader…!” Without another word, Malleus waved his hand, the last student BOLTING away towards the main campus. Once he was gone from our sight, he finally relaxed, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion…

“... Grim how the hell did you find him, it wasn’t even like. TEN MINUTES.”

“Oh, I have my ways~!! … But they ain’t FREE, you know…~”

“I’ll get you a can of the PREMIUM tuna at Sam’s.”

“DEAL!” I kneeled down, giving the cat a little fist bump. “Now let’s get out of here… It’s FREEZING…”

“(You’re telling me…)” I scooped him into my arms, approaching Malleus at the end of the alley. “Hello there, Prince Charming~”

“Ugh, I request you NOT call me such horrific names, [Name]...” His ears tinted the slightest crimson, moreso when I leaned against him, our shoulders touching. (Or, would’ve, if he weren’t so tall…) “... More important… I’m dreadfully sorry… For my own students to act in such a vile manner… It’s COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE-”

“Hey, hey. Calm down, it’s alright…” Clearly, he didn’t think so, but with a pout, he relaxed. “... Tell you what. We can just call it water under the bridge if you play your cello for me when we get back, alright? (It’ll help me relax.)”

“... Truly, that seems like so little… Are you sure it’ll be enough…?”

“Mmhm.” He smiled, all traces of the terrifying fae before nonexistent.

“... Then, I suppose I must cater to your wishes, my beloved~ … Ah, now what would you like me to perform for you? A symphony? Or even an elegy, if the mood so suites you?”

… I would DEFINITELY regret this later, I knew that… But it would STILL be worth every. Goddamn. SECOND.

“I think… I’d like to hear you play Megalovania again. Besides, you REALLY like that one too, right?” He beamed, brighter than the sun on this cold, winter day.

“Of course! I dare say, it is even one of my favorites…~”

Chapter Text

“...”

It was impossible to miss how “uninterested” he was acting about my ice cream bar. (Honestly, even if he HAD been a great actor… Him walking all the way over from the other side of the cafeteria once he saw with it was a dead giveaway.)

“... Good afternoon, Malleus.”

“Afternoon, human.” Awkward silence, save the wrapper as I opened the treat. “... I was unaware they had ice cream, today.”

“Oh, they didn’t… I brought this from Ramshackle. Part of my lunch, you know.” I gestured to my lunch bag, enchanted to stay cold… (Oh, the wonders of magic, in this world…)

“... Ah. I see.” He sat unnaturally still, fiddling with his fingers. I could see Sebek glaring at me, VERY obviously whisper-yelling to give it to him, while Lilia laughed besides him, Silver unconscious between. “... Lovely weather, is it not-”

“Mal Mal.”

“... Very well... May I have a bite, [Name]?” I seriously debated it. He was always so cute when he had ice cream… But ultimately, a bite? It was NEVER a bite… The longer I took to answer, the more pitifully he pouted, the menace KNOWING it would wear me down eventually…

“... ONE bite. One SMALL bite.”

“I love you.”

“I MEAN IT, MALLEUS.”

“And I shall keep true to those very words!” With great sadness, I held the cute, watermelon-shaped treat to him, shuddering as it began to melt onto my hand. His tongue peeked out to taste the air, chartreuse eyes gleaming in delight at its sweetness, and leaned down, taking a tiny lick off the top…

“... GYAH!!!” Suddenly, a whole FOURTH of it was fucking GONE, crunched by those vicious fangs of his. “MALLEUS!!!”

“?!” He jolted up like a deer in headlights. “I SAID A SMALL BITE!!!”

“I DID take a small bite!!!”

“That was a whole CHUNK!!!”

“Oh, then PRAY TELL, [NAME], what IS a SMALL BITE?!” I gestured to the stick, making sure he was watching, and took a tiny bite from the treat. “... Are you TRYING to starve me?! That wasn’t even a LICK!!!”

“YES IT WAS!!!”

“NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST!!!” … Every time… This happened EVERY TIME… There had to be SOME REASON we could never agree on THIS of all things- “... Wait.”

“...?” I looked him up-and-down, and then myself. NOW it all made sense…

“You’re giant.”

“... [Name], what does THAT have to do with this situation in the slightest??”

“EVERYTHING.” He raised a brow, but also sneaked a glance back to my ice cream, which’d begun melting into overdrive. Deciding to just take the L this time, I passed it over to him. His ears perked high in excitement as he smiled, quickly chomping the whole thing down so he could still enjoy it’s texture. “Your scale of sizes is different than me!!! (… (That’s why you always take these giant bites of my food when I offer…)”

“...!” His eyes widened in realization, though… He didn’t stop eating the ice cream.

“... Hehe… I guess neither of us realized it since neither of us really share stuff often… So I GUESS I can let you off the hook for it this time…” His ears twitched when I reached up and gave him a pat, trying to ignore Sebek moments away from storming over to tackle me. “But ONLY this time. Don’t get cocky.”

“Perhaps I shall. It’ll be quite amusing to see what you do, human~” With one last curl of his tongue around the stick, the ice cream was completely gone… With grace, the popsicle stick was placed onto the table, Malleus sitting tall with his legs crossed elegantly. “Well… I suppose I should take my leave, before I'm abandoned by my own House…. So, shall I see you tonight, [Name]?”

“If you want, yeah!” I looked around for a napkin, wanting to get the sticky, watermelon mess off my hand. “I do have some homework, though, so I’ll have to finish that before anything else. That alright with you, Mal Mal?” … Silence. (Also, why were there no napkins at this table?!) “... Malleus??”

His eyes twinkled in light, licking his lips as he watched my hand, only turning away to see if anyone was watching.

“... Mal Mal…” He grabbed my non-sticky hand, dragging me away from the cafeteria.

“(Apologies, [Name]... But I hope you’ll indulge me for just a moment longer…)”

… Well! Note to self! … Pack napkins in my lunches, from now on…

Chapter Text

After a long day of classes… I could finally pass out and remember none of it when I needed it for tomorrow’s test…

… Or well… I WANTED to, but…

“... Malleus…”

“Mm?” I opened a single eye, finding him quietly watching me from the comically tiny (for him, at least) chair in my room. Though he held a book in his hands, his eyes, bright even within the darkness of the room, were non-too-subtlely trained on me. “May I be of assistance to you, dearest?”

“...” His grin was curled tight at the corners, the devil knowing exactly what the problem was. “... It must be bad for your eyes, reading like that~ … You should go to the other room, so you don’t strain them.”

“Oh, how quaint, worrying about such frivolous things… Well, I assure you, you need not worry about such things, [Name]!” He snapped his book shut and placed it to the side, getting comfortable (well, as much as he could,) in his seat. “... Though, to alleviate your worries… I shall simply cease my reading for the evening. Is that to your approval~?”

… Yeah. I should’ve just been honest. I glanced at Grim, who’d already passed out, envying his lack of awareness at times like this… A part of me debated being honest, but I knew if I did THAT, he’d cry out in mock anguish, quoting Twisted Shakespeare until I was forced to coddle him to atone for ‘my sins,’ and he’d win… But he was also so petty, that he’d keep making ‘innocent’ excuses UNTIL he had a chance to win…

(‘Win what?’ You might ask? … Well, nothing in particular, really. He just wanted an excuse to either watch me, or win my attention… Neither of which he was patient enough to hold off on for tonight, it seems…)

“... Hey, Mal Mal?” I had an idea, and it would either work, or spectacularly backfire.

“Yes, dearest~?”

“Could you…” I glanced out the window, where the winds howled outside. “... Go get some firewood from the Dorm Lounge? (I’m getting a bit chilly…)” He huffed, failing to hide his smile of amusement.

“You ask a prince to fetch firewood?? Why, I’m unsure of if I should have you executed, or applauded for such boldness~”

“... So is that a no?” Gracefully, he rose from his seat, taking long strides to the door. Though, he paused, looking back with a cheeky smile.

“... When I return, I shall still find you as you are now, yes~?” I crossed my fingers behind my back.

“Mmhm.” His brow raised, but he relented, soon disappearing from the door, and gently shutting it behind… Giving me the perfect opportunity to try and find a different place to sleep~

“(...)” I waited a few moments, until I could no longer hear his footsteps out the door, and CAREFULLY stepped out of bed, my heart pounding as I inched to the door. When I tried opening it, the hinges seemed to SCREAM in terror, but much to my relief, the hall was empty when I peeked out…

“(... Hah…)” I took a single step out, checking again of fear to see if he’d caught on-

“(Boo.)”

“MMMMMGH!!!” A large hand quickly covered my mouth, catching my scream before it could rouse even the dead from their slumber. “... MMH MMHM!!!” He laughed, freeing me, and I turned around, seeing him standing right behind me as if he’d never left the room… (However, a few fireflies lingered in the air, giving tell to his schemes…)

“You seem quite upset, [Name]! Yet, if I recall correctly… A certain, little human had promised to stay in their room, so if any are to hold contempt within their heart… Should it not be me~?” He bared his fangs, forked tongue even flicking with a quiet ‘hiss,’ yet I just stormed back into the hall. “Oh~? Wherever are you going, beloved~?”

“(SOMEWHERE PEACEFUL TO SLEEP, AWAY FROM MEAN DRAGONS LIKE YOU!!!)”

“Oh? Well, if my presence is of such concern, then it’s only right I atone, yes~?” He quickly caught up, a hand curling around my waist as he gracefully turned us back to my room. “Perhaps I should place a blessing of sleep upon you! Not even a ‘mean dragon’ such as myself could hope to wake you with that! (... Until I require entertainment again, that is.)”

… Yeah. I was gonna blame him when I eventually fall asleep during tomorrow’s exam.

Chapter Text

“Malleus… You should partake in the mundane once in a while, you know? It would be good for your soul.”

“... Hmph~” He smirked down at the Vice, who’s cheerful, “youthful” grin was partially (well… Fully obscured, with how short he was…) with his umbrella. Cold drops spilled off the ends, onto the stone path beneath, yet his uniform still managed to be caught in the crossfire.

As for his own umbrella? Ridiculous, as if he had need for such a thing… What harm could the rain hope to cause if he just used the tiniest of magic to simply ward it off! (Not even the Scalding Sands could hope to be as dry as him, at the moment~)

“I’m being serious, you know~ You may end up discovering new things you enjoy, that you never would have thought otherwise! And what better place to make such discoveries, than the present?”

“Vanrouge…” Though he sighed, he couldn’t hide the mirth within. “I’ve been alive for countless years now. What could I POSSIBLY discover that I haven’t already~?”

“New foods, new stories… And of course, new faces. Even if others' lives may not last as long as our own, that does not mean their tales are worth any less than our own…”

Life… It was a bit of a sore topic for the prince. Though he had claimed on many occasions it brought him no grief (as it 'was simply how things were',) Lilia couldn’t help but worry… After all, it could very well be nothing but an excuse to keep himself from growing close to others, in fear of the grief that would wreck his very being, upon seeing them age, while he remained the same…

Over, and over, and over again…

“... I did not intend to take our stroll on such an unpleasant note… I do hope you’ll forgive me, milord.” … No response. “... Malleus???”

… The prince was nowhere to be seen.

“(... Hmph! If you’re going to throw a tantrum, at least be bold enough to make it shown…!)” … Oh well. It would do no good to leave him be. The weather was already quite horrid to most, it could quickly turn deadly if not quelled in time… So he went to the first place he could think of…

The Prince’s room.

-----------

“...!”

It was them…

They hadn’t seen him yet. No, they simply stared down at a deep puddle beneath, umbrella straining against the wind to keep them dry.

“...” He looked to Lilia. Really, he’d completely missed what the other had said… Surely he’d forgive him if he missed the remainder of this conversation… “...~” He was quick, hiding in the shadows where he’d be overlooked. If he moved straight for [Name] now, Lilia would intervene, and now doubt embarrass him… So he waited. And waited. And waited…

“...Malleus???” He strained his ears to hear. “(...Ugh… Tantrum…)” It wasn’t until he finally stormed off that he relaxed, and smiled at the opportunity before him… It’d been far too long since he’d had the opportunity to speak with them, after all~ (Only a few days, yes, but STILL a few days too many!) He took his first step out, and was immediately struck with anxiety, upon seeing them soaked from head to toe.

“(... Ah…)” … He was perfectly dry… Would they take offense to such a thing…?! ‘Wow, Hornton, way to flaunt the fact that I look no better than a soaked vermin!’ … What if… It was enough to make them detest him forever, and want nothing to do with him…?!

“(...)” With a snap of his fingers, The thin barrier of wind magic had changed into a coat of water, and soaked his entire being. (His joints… Would detest him for this later…) “... Oh? Well, if this isn’t quite the surprise~”

“Huh?!” They spun around, and at their ridiculous smile, his heart melted. “Hornton!!! How are you?!”

“Hmph, energetic as always, I see~” Though, he quickly pulled his best pout as he approached. “... As you can see… I’ve forgotten my own umbrella back on campus… Alas, I was running late to Crewel’s, and you know what they mutter the halls~”

“Yeah~ It’s better to show up dead than late on test day~ (... Haha…)” … Mm, perhaps that wasn’t the best direction to take…

“... Untold traumas?”

“... Don’t worry about it!” Suddenly, he found himself… Somewhat covered. “Here! Share with me!”

“Ah! How kind of you, [Name]~ … Though…” … Their arm was straining to hold it above his head. “... Perhaps I should hold it, for both of us.”

“... Please.” It was gently taken from their grip, and he could hardly hold his gasp, feeling their fingers graze his own… “... Ah, that’s right! Where’re you headed now?? Your dorm? Club??”

“I was…” He thought long and hard, wanting to spend as much time as possible, before fate pried them away once more. “... Thinking of stopping by the Botanical Garden! It’s quite warm in there, after all!”

“Really?! I’m heading that way too!! I can walk you there!! … If you want, I mean-”

“I would love to!” He placed a hand on their lower back, guiding them forward. (A bit bold, but even HE could be, on the occasion.) “Now, let’s hurry, before even our souls are soaked-”

“Okayokayokay hold on first!!” He held, a questioning glance. They looked around, before turning back to the puddle. “... Fuck it. YOLO~!!” They jumped in, the splash enough to soak even his own shoes.

“Ah…! What are you-?!”

“JOIN ME.” The water was high above their shoes, reaching a good few inches above their ankles. “JOIN IN THE INSANITY, HORNTON.”

“I would prefer to KEEP my sanity, THANK YOU VERY MUCH-AH…!!” Another splash, he stepped back, wanting to shield his precious footwear from further assault, only for a strong gust to sweep them both by surprise.

“WHOA!!!” Down they went, dirtied rainwater everywhere on impact.

“[NAME]!!!...!?” His hands were suddenly empty, the flimsy umbrella once within now flying across the courtyard.

“MY LEG!!!” His blood ran cold, immediately dropping to his knees, and grabbing the appendage.

“IS IT HURT?! BROKEN?!?!”

“NO NO!! IT’S FINE!! I JUST KEEP FORGETTING YOU PEOPLE DON’T HAVE SPONGEBOB HERE!!!”

“‘... Spongebob???’” They playfully shooed his hand away, and crawled to their feet. (He chastised himself for not offering a hand in support…)

“I’mma keep it real with you Hornton, I have NO idea how to even BEGIN explaining it to you, and I don’t think you’d even like it so I feel like we should just toss this suitcase out!”

“... How would YOU know whether or not i would enjoy this ‘Spongebob?!’”

“Hornton.” Their hands landed on his shoulders. “Trust me. You would not like Spongebob. (... Okay, maybe you would think Squidward’s a LITTLE funny… But I digress!!)” … Yet again, they’ve vexed him with forlorn knowledge… But for now, it could go unpunished. “... FUCK! THE UMBRELLA!!!”

… It was nowhere to be seen.

“... HORNTON… I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU… LOSING MY UMBRELLA…SO CRUEL…”

“I… Am dearly sorry, [Name].” He examined their body language, finding no true malice, yet a part of him still ached in misery. “I shall properly compensate you with a new one-”

“I’ll forgive you if you jump in the puddle.”

“...”

“Just once.”

“...”

“I will explain ONE Spongebob joke.”

“... I demand two.”

“A bit greedy, aren’t we~?”

“Do you wish for me to walk away?”

“I will tell you two.” They hopped back out of the puddled, and grabbed his hand. “Now!! On the count of three! One… Two…!”

“... T-three…”

“... GO!!!”

Together, they jumped, and just as he expected, his shoes became completely soaked…

“... HA!!!” Yet, as he watched their eyes glimmer in delight, brighter than the drops around them, he suddenly couldn’t find himself to care… “I haven’t done this in so long… I miss it, you know! (... With how wild Ace and Deuce are, I usually have to reign it in and be the responsible one…) … Ah, but that makes it more special, you know!”

“I see…” He glanced back to where their hands were still entangled, unable to resist giving theirs the lightest of squeezes. “Since you feel comfortable enough to act so foolish around me, then... Does that mean you… Think I am dull?”

“Wha?” They squeezed back, his breath hitching. “Of course not… If anything, you’re worse than THOSE two sometimes…”

“... Pardon?” They smirked.

“Jump with me again and I’ll think of sharing~”

“... You drive a hard bargain, human…” They both stepped out, facing the puddle again. (His bones were already beginning to ache from the cold… Truly, this form was impractical, at times.) “Very well, but ONLY one more.”

“ONLY one more.”

“... I mean it! You shall not convince me otherwise!!!”

“Okay~”

“... Then on three, we jump!”

“One…~”

“Two…:”

“”... THREE!!!”” It seemed as if this time, the water rose high above even their knees, and with it, the pitch of their laughter.

“... There! I have soaked my shoes for you a second time! Now, I demand to know the answer to your insult!”

“... Oh~? I only said I’d THINK of sharing… I never actually said I would…~”

“...” He glared.

“... Pfft…” He only glared harder. “Okay, okay, fine~ I’ll tell you later if you do ONE more jump with me-”

“This is the third time you’ve said that-”

“I will also explain THREE Spongebob jokes.” … He couldn’t keep up his glare anymore, nor his scowl as it wore away into a tired smile.

“... Alright~ But only because I want too!”

“You do?! Then we can do even more!!”

“YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!!!”

Really, they were too much, at times…

-----------

“... Alright, now this is just getting ridiculous…!”

He’s checked just about the entire campus by now, and very well the entirety of Diasomnia while at it! (All while avoiding Silver and Sebek… Though those two would be more than willing to help, he didn’t want to cause unnecessary worry…) Well, while the storm refused to let up in the slightest, it hadn’t grown worse… A small victory, he supposed. (… Though, as he arrived back at the Courtyard, where he first went missing, even he had to admit his joints were getting sick of the cold…)

“... Really, we should stop, lest you catch a cold!”

“Nononono I SWEAR I mean it when I say this is the last time!!”

“...!!” Quickly, the Vice sank into the shadows, recognizing the two voices, and slowly crept towards their source.

“Have you not grown weary of this cold, yet?!”

“No.” He gasped, hearing the splash. “Now are you gonna join me again~? Or do I gotta do all the splashing myself around here~?”

What he witnessed… He could hardly believe his eyes…

“... Alright, I shall indulge you this ONE LAST TIME… And once I do, we are to return indoors, AND you shall live up to your end of our bargain…!!!” With a wide smile, the human grabbed his hand, Malleus’ deathly pale complexion flush with a life rarely seen… And was dragged into the giant puddle of rainwater, soaking his slacks and socks.

… Of course, that was nothing, compared to the rest of the two’s uniforms, and even faces, which dripped with freshly dropped downpour.

“A-ah…! I wasn’t prepared-”

“GYAH!”

… And then they slipped on mud, dragging him down with them.

“...!” Lilia barely stifled his laugh in time, watching them sit up, completely caked in mud, yet grinning from ear to ear.

“... Sorry~”

“... Well~ I suppose I could let such an offense slide this once…~” They rose to their feet first, almost slipping again from the mud, and held a hand out to him, one he graciously took…

“...!” And then HE slipped trying to get up, dragging them back down once more.

“... AHAHAHA~!!”

“... Fuhuhu~”

With a quiet smile, Lilia snuck away from the scene, leaving the two alone to their whims…

To think he was worried about such silly things… Really, he should have more faith in his liege… (... And more concern for his own hips… Hopefully no one misplaced his heating pad again…)

-----------

“... LILIAAAAAA…”

“Yes, Malleus?” There was a sneeze from the dining table. “Bless you, milord.”

“Thank you…” Silver had been pouring him a fresh cup of tea… ‘Had.’ He’d fallen asleep standing, and was now pouring it to the floor. (As for Sebek? … He immediately ran to gather ingredients for medicine.) “... May I borrow that ‘heating pad,’ of yours?”

“Ohoho~ … ABSOLUTELY not.”

“Wha-” He reached for a handful of the chili peppers he’d picked last market trip, but refrained… It would be wise for Malleus to consume simple meals for the duration of his cold… So, basic chicken noodle it was. “B-but-”

“I recall asking if the young lord would like his OWN heating pad when I bought mine a few months ago… And he said NO.”

“But Lilia… My hips… They ache oh-so-horribly…!”

“And how do you think MINE feel?!” Out of spite, he added ONE chili pepper into the soup. “I ran around looking for you ALL DAY, out in the FREEZING COLD, and now I’m even making you SOUP!!! Have you even heard MY joints, young man?!” Malleus hid his face, the thick, green quilt threatening to slip off from the movement. “THEY SOUND LIKE THOSE ‘GLOW STICKS’ THEY PASSED OUT AT THE LAST SCHOOL DANCE!!! … So YOU’RE going to have to deal with it until I’M done using it, and then MAYBE with a proper apology I’ll let you borrow it…”

“... Very well…”

“... Oh, AND I want to hear all about your little outing with your human friend, since it was apparently SO important you ditched our stroll for it…~”

… Unsurprisingly, when he looked back at the table, Malleus was nowhere to be found.

Chapter Text

“... I would like to be your partner for this project.”

His hair glimmered like the stars even within the dim light of the almost empty classroom, eyes vibrant like soft sapphires… He wore a perfect uniform, the image of Diasomnia, and I couldn’t help but be impressed… He seemed to be crafted exactly in the image of a fairy tale…

“... I’m sorry, who are you…?” His expression didn’t shift in the slightest.

“My name is Silver.”

“... Okay, ‘Silver…’” I glanced to Cater, who shrugged. “... Well, while I’m flattered, (and confused considering my grades sometimes…) I’m already planning to be partners with-” He dropped his textbook onto the table, taking a seat next to me.

“... I would really like to be your partner for this project.”

“... I…” Actually, this wasn’t going to go anywhere, was it? “... Sure, alright. I’ll be your partner for this project.”

“(BESTIE???)” Silver was already opening the textbook to the proper page, while I could only shoot Cater an apologetic smile.

“(I’m sure Trey’ll be willing to help you! … Or Riddle…!)”

“([Name]!! We NEVER get time to Netflix and Chill, much less vibe homie to homie!!!)”

“(I know, I know, but…!)” ‘Silver’ had already laid out his supplies perfectly, quietly waiting for us to begin. “(... I feel like I can’t say no to him, for some reason…!)”

“(Well, I CAN.)” Cater slammed his hands on the desk, his most passive-aggressive smile on display. “Hey, my homie from another dormy~ Sorry to break the tea to you king, but THIS project’s already set to be a super-fly collab between me and [Cringe Nickname]~ … So… If you’d just yeet-” He reached out, just to give a light push…

“!” And within a flash, his hand was snatched.

“Wha-hey!!!”

… I was surprised the desk didn’t crack with how violently he was slammed onto it…

-----------

“... Well! Good news guys!” The two looked up, Cater still quietly fuming as he held an ice pack to his cheek. “Our class is an odd number, so we got permission to be a group of three!”

“Great~ TOTALLY gonna hit ‘Like’ on THAT…” He whipped out his phone, and already, I knew I’d see a vent on his Private later. “This project is gonna be SO much FUN… I can already see it now… ‘Only Fs WE’RE getting this semester are in the chat~! #NRC #StraightAs #-’”

“... What does that mean?” Cater practically choked on his own breath from the question, staring at Silver in disbelief.

“... You’ve never heard of an F in the chat???” Silver frowned.

“... I feel as if I’ve heard my father say it on occasion… But I do not know what it means myself.”

“... [Name]. Bro.” … Oh no…

“... Cater. We are NOT turning this into a lesson on social media slang-”

“Bestie, it is my Seventh-Given RIGHT to ruin this man’s life with the horrors of MagiCam!”

“I’M NOT FAILING THIS PROJECT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN THE ICEBERG OF MAGICAM DRAMA TO HIM!!!”

“We’re not gonna FAIL… Besides, what harm’s speedrunning a lil’ near the due date’s gonna do~”

“A LOT, ACTUALLY!!!” Ugh, if this wasn’t snipped in the bud, we’d be here all day… “You know what. Fine. Silver, do YOU want to hear an overly-complicated ToddTalk on MagiCam lore???”

“...”

“... Silver???”

“...Zzz…”

“... HE FELL ASLEEP?!?!”

… Suddenly, I wasn’t feeling very confident about our grades…

-----------

“Hey hey~ Welcome to Prof. Kay Kay’s seminar, MagiCam 101~!” I could already feel myself die inside. “I’ll teach all you cringe newbies how to rake in the Likes and Subscribes faster than a celebrity sellout!! So… Why don’t we start by introducing ourselves~? Name AND MagiCam handle, please~!”

Everyone looked to me. (I have no idea how the other two heard about this. Sebek and Lilia had just waltzed in out of nowhere and took a seat… (Did Silver say something…?))

“... [First] [Last Name]... @/RamshacklePrefect…”

“Nice nice~!!” Silver hummed, and much to my dismay, quickly scrawled it down, alongside the other three. “Okay, you next, Sil~ver~!”

“My name is Silver.” … And then he stopped.

“... And your MagiCam is…?”

“... I apologize, I do not have one.”

“... HELLO???”

“... Hello…?” Cater rubbed his eyes, taking a seat on the professor’s desk.

“... Alright, keep it a 100 with me... How many of you don’t have MagiCams?” The three Diasomnia students all raised their hands. “(... Oh boy… Seems I got my work cut out for me, then…) … Alright then~!” He clapped. “[Name]!! Be a sweetie, and help me with setting up these three, won’t you~?”

“... Will you let me say no?”

“You know I won’t~”

“... Alright… Fine.” I turned to Silver. “Could you pass me your phone?”

“... Why do you need it?”

“I can’t set up a MagiCam for you without it.”

“... I see…” Albeit a bit reluctantly, he passed it over.

“... IS THAT A NOKIA???”

… Yeah, this wasn’t gonna work.

-----------

“I simply need to click ‘confirm,’ yes?”

“Yeah, after that, your account will be completed, and we can begin set-up!”

After finding out that not only Silver, but SEBEK (actually, I don’t know why I was surprised he had a Nokia too, we made a strategic move to the computer lab. Somehow, it was completely abandoned at this hour, so no one would bother us… (To be EXTRA sure, I locked the door, though.)

“... Oh, hold on!” I hadn’t noticed it before, but he’d tried putting ‘Silver’ as his handle. Unsurprisingly, that was already claimed, but it still caught him off guard, seeing the box turn red. “Someone else is already going by Silver, so you’ll have to choose something else for your MagiCam handle.

“There is no other way I wished to be addressed, though.”

“That’s fine, you can still make your Username Silver, but you’ll still have to change the handle… Do you have any hobbies?”

“I train daily.” … Not the answer I was expecting.

“... I see… Okay, what about things you like? Do you collect anything?”

“I collect weapons.” … You know? Suddenly him destroying Cater earlier was beginning to make a lot of sense.

“Okay, weapons, weapons… Hey! Why not make your tag SilverSword, then? You can still keep Silver, while also reflecting your interests.”

“... Hmph, I like that…” With a smile, he (very… VERY slowly…) typed it in. This time, it created the profile, and with that, the hard part was over with…

“... WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T MAKE MY ‘PROFILE PICTURE’ A PICTURE OF LORD DRACONIA?!?!” We glanced back, finding Sebek half-ready to attack Cater. Lilia meanwhile chuckled at the sight, already decking out his profile in the most sceney, 2000s Hot Topic theming I’d ever seen…

“Look Sebek, homie… I mean this in ALL honesty… I think Malleus is fly and all too, but if you make your ENTIRE account NOTHING but Malleus posts, tags, and fancams, people WILL think you’re some joke stan account, and WILL vaguepost you at BEST.”

“SO?!”

“... At worse it’s gonna look bad on HIM-”

“I SHALL CHOOSE A DIFFERENT PICTURE.”

“(Thank god…)” Silver looked back to his own screen, awfully bare, then back at Lilia’s, horribly not.

“... [Name], how did fa-... Vanrouge, do that?”

“Oh, it’s easy!” I pointed to the palette in the upper right of the profile. “Click right here..” He followed, gasping when the layout changed. “... Alright, so if you click here, you can change your ‘Profile Pic.’ This is a little picture that’ll appear next to your posts, to help others recognize you better! And this…” I pointed to the large, generic-striped banner that ran across. “Is your ‘Header Image.’ This is a larger image you can decorate your page with, though this one will only be seen by those who check your page. Does that make sense?”

“... I’m confused…”

“It’s okay, we’ll figure it out together. For now…” I took my phone out, pulling up the app. “Here! I’ll send you a friend request, so I can show off some of the other features-”

“Oh~? Are you really going to accept someone else’s request before my own, Silver?”

“GYAH!!!” A cute pout was suddenly before the monitor black-pink tresses grazing Silver’s hands on the keyboard. “... PLEASE stop doing that Lilia!!! (You’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days…!)”

“Fuhuhu~ Apologies, [Name]~” He floated back to the ground, peering over Silver’s shoulders. Already, a Friend Request was there, though it wasn’t my own. “Do you see that little dot with the number, Silver?”

“Yes, Vanrouge.”

“Be a dear and click it, won’t you?” … Suddenly, it felt that my position of ‘Assistant MagiCam instructor’ was being threatened… “... Wonderful! Now, here it is asking if you would like to be friends with me, see? So, unless you wish to break my poor, little heart…”

With no hesitation, Silver accepted.

“HA! VINDICATION!!!”

… Well, progress was getting made, at least!

-----------

“BESTIE, HELP… (I’M ABOUT TO MCFUCKING LOSE IT OVER HERE!!!)”

“Yes, oh Great Overlord of Social Media Dia-oh my godddd…”

It was just replies. No posts, just replies. Sebek was going on random people’s posts and just talking about how cool this “Malleus Draconia” guy was.

“SEBEK!!!” He huffed, finding another post to attack.

“WHAT?!?! I’M JUST LETTING THESE IDIOTIC HUMANS KNOW THAT THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO SPEND THEIR TIME THAN ADMIRING PATHETIC KITTENS!!!” Cater looked seconds away from screaming as the notifications racked up, but no doubt for horrid reason.

“([Name], I need you to smack the fear of THE QUEEN into him… You know him better than me, so you can do it, RIGHT?!)”

“(YEAH, BUT THIS IS SEBEK WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HERE!!!)” Okay, think, think, think…! “... MAN, CATER… PEOPLE ARE REALLY GONNA HATE THIS MALLEUS GUY AFTER ALL THIS.”

“...!” He grinned. “Yeah, he’s TOTES gonna get CANCELED for this~” Finally, Sebek paused.

“... Diamond, what does ‘getting canceled’ mean?”

“Oh, that~” He sighed, with the drama of a mournful lover. “It means… That he will be hated all across the internet… FOREVER.”

“Yeah, yeah…” I fell to my knees, hiding my face as I sobbed. “Poor Draconia… None will EVER, EVER respect him again after this… They’ll all think he’s nothing more than an irritating jerk after some MagiCam user by the name of…” I looked up, squinting to read Sebek’s handle. “...@/MalleusDraconias#1Retainer, went on a ill-planned crusade in his name…!”

“Wha-”

“They’re right, you know…” Lilia popped up from behind, wiping away a fake tear. “If only it wasn’t too late to fix this…! (... Oh, but that would require deleting every single post and your account, and starting anew, but-”

“DIAMOND!!!” Uncaring of his scream, he yanked Cater down by the collar. “HOW DO I DELETE?!?! HOW DO I DELETE?!?!”

“I’LL SHOW YOU JUST LET GO OF ME!!!”

… You know? I think this was a new record of how fast I’d seen someone deactivate!

-----------

“... Well! I don’t know if this was worth it or not, but… Congrats, my little MagiCammers~!!” With a peace and a wink, Cater checked his phone, seeing the three new profiles on his Friend’s List. “Now, since we’re running out of time, (and I’ve lost too many years of my life in one afternoon…) we’re gonna continue this lesson next time, okay~?” All three happily looked at their pages (well, for the most part, Silver seemed passive about the whole thing,) and it was nice! … Until I remembered one, very important thing…

“... Cater… We didn’t do a single thing for our project today-”

“(Shush.)” … Rude. “Anyway~ That’s all for today~ Prof. Kay Kay’s going on his way, so later~” … He ran out before I could get the chance to say anything else…

“... Hey, Silver?” He looked up from the computer. By now, he’d found a few history pages about armories, and was reblogging quite a few things! “... Why DID you want a MagiCam account anyway?”

“... No reason in particular. I was just curious…”

“... Well, that makes sense!” I guess it was the same for the others, too!

-----------

“...”

“... Silver?” He hadn’t moved in the slightest. “... Silver, while I understand you’re excited about your new ‘MagiCam,’ it is quite late… I suggest you get some rest… Oh?” Lilia recognized the page quite well, seeing the photos of [Name] with their friends. “Doing some research?”

“... Father…” The young boy scratched his head. “... I’ve seen them with Lord Draconia before.”

“You have? My, color me surprised~!” Really, he wasn’t. If anything, he was surprised neither him or Sebek had discovered it sooner.

“I am as well… Though, I also hold some concerns… From the little I’ve seen, they speak to him so… Strangely. It seems to vex even him, at times, even going so far as to call him some strange name…” He moved to the next picture, squinting for any sign of Malleus. “... While I hold full faith in milord… I cannot help but fear the possibility of them wanting to cause him harm…”

“Is that so~ … Well, I have two important things to say about that!” Finally, Silver looked away, facing the other. “First, you have absolutely NOTHING to worry about. I have seen them interact for myself. Though they confuse him at times, I can tell you with utmost certainty that they are nothing but good friends.”

“...Ah, is that so…” Just the tiniest bit, he smiled. “First Kingscholar, and now [Last Name]... It seems coming to Night Raven College is filled with many surprises!”

“Indeed~ Now, the second thing is…” He gently took the mouse from him, clicking the webpage closed. “Right now, what you’re doing could be considered ‘stalking,’ son, which is generally frowned upon.”

“...!” His face grew pale. “M-my apologies, father…!”

“No worries, I understand you had the best of intentions in mind, just don’t do it again, understand?”

“Yes, father.”

“Wonderful~ … Now let’s get you to bed-” The door slammed open, the room immediately filling with a tense aura.

“VANROUGE…”

… Oh, that’s right! …They’d forgot to invite him yet again…

Chapter Text

“... [Name]?”

“... Hello…~!” Oh god PLEASE strike me down now. “... Welcome to the White Rabbit Cafe! … Can I… Help you, sir…?”

… This was humiliating. Normally, I didn’t mind this job! In fact, I even kinda liked it! … BUT HAVING MALLEUS DRACONIA STARE AT YOU IN A [MAID/BUTLER] UNIFORM WHILE PEOPLE GAWK… WAS NOT EXACTLY A FUN FEELING.(My anxiety was through the roof…)

“... Surely the budget at Ramshackle is not so awful that you must resort to such means, yes??”

“(... Uh…)” … I couldn’t tell him we were living off ramen noodles and canned tuna this month. “(... Extra pocket change.)” I grabbed a stack of menus and discreetly waved him off. “(Now shoo!!! I’m on the clock, I can’t stand around and talk to people who aren’t customers!!!)”

“... Is that so…” He looked further into the cafe, eyes wincing at the countless bright colors, but suddenly, they sparkled like fireworks… When I turned back, I saw him eyeing one of the ice cream parfaits… “... I shall take a table at your establishment, then! Surely, you shall serve me well, dear ‘rabbit’… Fuhuhu~”

“(... Malleus, PLEASE…)” He smirked, and reached into his pocket. Within a moment, he flashed his wallet, and alongside it, a (thick…) stack of Madol.

“I reassure you, I shall make it worth your time, human~” … UGH, I could REALLY use the cash, but…

“([NAME]!!!)” I turned back, finding my coworker Annie, practically drooling at the cash. “(GIVE HIM TO ME IF YOU WON’T TAKE HIM!!!)”

“(HELL NO!!!)” Okay, NOW I had to. “... Apologies for the wait, sir!” He smiled, seeing my shift into Customer Service Mode(™). “If you’ll please follow me, I’ll take you to your seat!”

“Splendid~ I trust you shall choose well, for me?”

“Of course!” I immediately took him to the darkest, quietest corner of the cafe, away from all other life in the diner, where the decorative curtains partially obscured the view. I knew to most, it’d seem rude when so much other space was available, but to him?

“(... Perfect~)” Now he could keep his eyes fully open without a pained scowl, and I was sure it’d be easier on his ears as well! As he took a seat, I tried not to smile, seeing how silly he looked among the bright pastels and pales, much less the cutesy rabbit decor.

“How quaint! Though, I shall admit it is far from my usual tastes…” I held out a menu, which he took, yet made no effort to examine it. “I must admit, however… While I prefer you in black… You look quite stunning in white, beloved…” I could feel my face grow hot, and I looked down to my white uniform with blue accents.”

“A-ah… Thank you… (It’s the uniforms we use for the holiday…) … ANYWAY!! Should I leave you for a few moments to decide?”

“Hm…” He glanced out, counting out the heads of other diners. “It depends. Shall you leave to attend another while I peruse?”

“Yes, because that is what I’m being paid to do at this job, sir.”

“I see…” He fumed, a small, quick burst of smoke leaving his lips. “I cannot say I’m very fond of that… So I suppose I’ll have to delay such an outcome as much as possible~”

“... No…” He smirked, placing down the menu.

“What would you recommend, little rabbit? Oh, and DO be sure to go into great detail…”

“(... OH, you’re SO lucky you’re cute…)” I would have to get revenge later. For now, I just put my best smile on. “Well sir! We have MANY options to choose from, whether you prefer savory snacks, or sweet treats!”

“I see…” He put down the menu. “List out the sweets for me.”

“... Uh…” I quickly flipped to the dessert section. “Well, we have cakes (by the slice,) cookies, sherberts and snow cones, and of course parfaits! (As well as many sodas and juices, for those wanting to parch their thirst!)”

“What flavors are available for said parfaits?”

“We have a basic fruit parfait for those wanting something simple, yet many specialty options such as our fan favorite Cheshire’s Berry Blast, the White Rabbit’s Bouquet (A Limited-Time special for White Day, special ceremony included,) and MY personal favorite, The Rose-Red Special! (... Don’t ask what flavor it is. NONE of us know, but it tastes really good…)”

“... I see…” Somehow, I already had a feeling of what he’d order, and when his lips curled into a smirk, I was proved correct. “I shall take all three!”

“(... Okay, but… That IS a lot of ice cream, Malleus…)” He raised a brow.

“You doubt my appetite?”

“(I’m not doubting anything, I just don’t want you to regret anything!)” The tips of his ears flushed pink, and he grinned wide with pride.

“While I am VERY much warmed by your concerns, I reassure you, if there are ANY regrets to be had, it will be by this establishment for allowing me to enter!”

“(... Alright~ Don’t say I didn’t warn you~)” With that, gave a bow. “Now, if you’ll excuse me sir, I’ll be sure to bring you a pot of tea shortly~!”

“How sweet of you, little rabbit~! You have my gratitude~” I didn’t waste much time, knowing I’d have more orders to catch up on, once I placed his own. Expertly, I weaved through the dining hall, doing my best to ignore the quiet murmurs of suspicion as they gazed towards his booth, and entered the kitchen.

“Hey guys, Booth #13’s gonna need a Cheshire Berry Blast, a Rose-Red Special, and-” The moment I looked away from the ticket, I realized all eyes were on me. “... Uh… Guys…?”

“(... [Name].)”My manager, Cathy, put her arms on my shoulder, looking almost afraid to speak. “(... Tell me I’m just getting old, and need to get my eyes checked, and that that isn’t MALLEUS DRACONIA in our dining hall.)”

“(... Uh…)” When I looked at everyone else, they all looked tense… (Save Annie, who from her pout, I could only assume was mourning the lost tip.) “(... Do you want me to lie…?)”

“... Excuse me for about five seconds, everyone!” She smiled, dusted my shoulders, and went straight into the Walk-In Freezer… “(... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!)”

We all winced at the volume of her shout even from here, and I’m sure at least a few of the customers heard it as well… Right after she returned, normal smile (albeit strained) returned.

“Alright, rabbits~! We have a VERY IMPORTANT, VERY UNEXPECTED GUEST TODAY!!!” She clapped her hands, snapping everyone out of their stupors. “BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR, AND NO ASKING FOR SELFIES! (I MEAN IT!!!)”

“Cathy-”

“IF HE ASKS FOR ANYTHING, GIVE HIM DOUBLE, NO, TRIPLE!!! (THE REVIEW WILL BE WORTH IT IN THE LONG RUN.)”

“Cathy, wait-”

“AND DON’T FORGET TO-”

“CATHY!!!” Finally, she froze. “... It’s fine, I swear! Just let me handle it!”

“Let you handle it-[NAME]!!! DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS?! (YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHO NEIGE LEBLANCHE WAS BEFORE VDC!!!)”

“... Haha… Well, funny story-” The door opened. Everyone turned to it, finding one of the guests peeking in. Specifically, the one in question.

“... [Name]? Pardon my intrusion, but are you alright…? (That scream was… Concerning, I must say…)”

“(Ahhh I’m fine, I’m fine!!! Now go back to your seat Mal Mal you’re not supposed to be back here!!! … Ah!)” I covered my mouth, but it was too late. Immediately, all their eyes were on me. “... O-on second thought!! Let me just take you back to your seat myself…!”

“””MAL MAL???”””

“Do you need anything?? Oh, actually, let me take a five, no, a TEN!!!”

“””MAL MAL?!?!?”””

“IN FACT, LET ME JUST TAKE A FOREVER!!!” I shoved him out into the hall. “PLEASE GO TAKE A SEAT I’LL BE BACK WITH TEA IN FIVE SECONDS.”

“Ah, just a moment-!” I slammed the door, and snatched my [color] tray, ignoring the stares as I fixed a pot of tea.

“... [Name]~?”

“LALALA I CAN’T HEAR ANYONE WITH HOW LOUDLY I’M SINGING LALALA~”

“Oh [Name]~!!”

“HEY! SO, ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL! NO CHANCE, TO BEAT US, NO ONE, NO WAY!!!” Right before I escaped, she caught me in a death grip.

“...” Her smile… Was terrifying… “We are going to make. SO… MUCH… MONEY TODAY…!”

“(... Oh Great Seven, help me…)”

-----------

“... I feel as if I’ve caused you quite some trouble…” I didn’t even bother trying to smile.

“No, you’re fine… Cathy’s super nice, really, I swear, but…” I placed down his three parfaits, the Rose-Red, Berry, and Bouquet… And the complimentary (whole… Against my suggestion,) White Day Blue Rosé cake… He grew pale, even beginning to sweat in terror at the sight of it. “... Sometimes… She gets a bit ahead of herself… (I SWEAR she means well…)”

“I-I see…” He glanced to the kitchen, seeing everyone watching him with an intense stare. “... I… Cannot accept this, [Name].”

“I know. Just tell me, and I’ll send it back.”

“(... It would be poor manners to refuse…)” He stared down the giant, buttercream swirls and light-blue macarons that decorated it, a cascade of blue roses, with shimmering silver dust along the side. “(... Silver…)”

“... Hm?” With still-trembling hands, he pulled out his phone.

“I have a solution, if you’ll permit it…”

-----------

“Thank you for inviting us to this meal, Lord Draconia.”

“MMPH!!!” Silver bowed lightly, while Sebek almost smacked the table with his own, looking like a chipmunk with how much cake he was eating.

“Hmhm~” Lilia smiled at the two, taking a sip of tea. “Well, I must say, Malleus… It is quite a splendid surprise, being invited so suddenly like this… (Though, I will say, the choice of location is surprising…)” I approached the table with a new pot of tea and coffee, Lilia’s eyes twinkling in mischief. “Ah, I take it back. NOW it makes sense-”

“Lilia.” Malleus’ ears were dusted with crimson. “I invited you here to EAT, not TALK.”

“And I can very well do both, wouldn’t you agree, boys?” Sebek looked between Lilia and Malleus, clearly weighing if his loyalty was temporarily worth less than the Vice’s future spite. Minding his manners, he made sure to swallow first, and washed it down with a delicate sip of tea…

“... EAT FASTER, VANROUGE!!!”

“Ah, be wary of your volume, Sebek! (It’s poor manners to shout in the middle of an establishment such as this!)”

“(MY APOLOGIES!!!)”

“And they are taken! … As for your insolence in siding with the young master, however… I think we shall have seafood for dinner tonight!”

“””NO!!!””” Lilia ignored their cries, no… REVELED in them, taking another sip of tea…

“... Ah, I speak of manners, yet here I am, ignoring you! My own apologies, [Name].” He moved his plate, (his own slice already having quite a few bites taken from it,) allowing me to place down the pot of coffee. (Unsurprisingly, Silver lunged for it.) “I should ask why you’ve picked up such a job, however… I have a feeling it’s to do with the recent budget cuts Ramshackle was victim of, last meeting…” Malleus almost choked on his last bite of parfait.

“IIIIII…” He looked between us, and it didn’t take a genius to know he was pissed. “... Have no idea what you’re talking about, Lilia!”

“Oh please, you were there at the meeting! … Really, you should’ve let us stop them. I understand you’re used to helping others, but it shouldn’t come at your own expense!” … I could see the spoon beginning to bend under his grip…

“... Lilia, if I recall correctly, I’ve seen them working here a few months before…” Everyone turned to Silver, who took a sip of his drink. “I do not believe this has anything to do with the current situation at hand.”

“... Is that so…” It was obvious he wasn’t buying it… But closed his eyes with a smile. “I suppose I’m simply reading into things too much, aren’t I? I hope you’ll pardon me, [Name]!”

“Of course!!” Malleus was just about to speak, but I wasn’t having it. “Oh yeah!! Are you ready for me to take your glasses, sir?!”

“My glasses… Oh!” He looked to his own dishes, completely scraped clean of cream. (Really, had it not been for his restraint, I’m sure they would’ve been licked, as well.) “Yes, I’m more than ready for it, dearest, thank you.”

“(... Dearest~)” He shot a glare at Vanrouge.

“Pardon, did you say something, Lilia?”

“No, no~ Just an old man’s ramblings, Malleus~”

“... I see…” Silver raised his hand in the back, and upon making eye-contact, passed over the coffee pot.

“May I have a refill?”

“... Huh?” I took it, and horror dawned, finding it completely empty. (… It hadn’t even been ten minutes…) “... Y-yeah! I’ll get your refill! … Do YOU need anything, Sebek?”

“(HMPH, AS IF I NEED ANYTHING FROM A MISERABLE HUMAN-)” At that moment, one of my coworkers passed by, placing a hot, fresh plate of omurice at a nearby table. “ON SECOND THOUGHT, CAN I HAVE A MENU?! I’M STARVING!!!” Silver, moments awake from falling asleep again, SNAPPED awake.

“ME AS WELL!!!”

“... Boys?” Lilia forced a smile. “Haven’t you forgotten? We have food at home-”

“[Name], don’t mind Lilia.” Malleus ignored his glare. “Just ‘an old man’s ramblings,’ or so they say~!”

“Excuse me?!” Lilia turned to me. “No menus, unless they’re for DESSERTS!!!”

“And I SAY…” Malleus slammed a fist onto the table. “Bring us the menus! As the House Leader, and the one who’s SO GRACIOUSLY INVITED YOU to this trip… MY COMMAND IS LAW!!!”

“IT IS NOT!”

“IS TOO!”

“IS NOT!!!”

“IS TOO-”

“Guys…” Their eyes twitched in perfect unison. “If you don’t calm down, I’m going to have to ask you to leave…”

“... Fine.” Lilia sat back with a huff. “Because [NAME] here has been SUCH a dear to us, we MAY order food… However, once we get back to Diasomnia, we WILL be continuing this discussion!”

“Very well~” The rest of relaxed, knowing disaster (and public humiliation) was avoided. “Now, do not be shy, you two~ This is a special occasion, after all~”

“”Yes Lord Draconia…”” With a quick bow, I stepped away to fetch them menus.

“(... ‘Dearest~’)” Lilia just snickered at his glare.

-----------

They all squinted at the bright, pastel menus.

“... Lilia… This is agony on my eyes…” This time, the Vice couldn’t bring himself to sass back.

“I’m compelled to agree… These don’t feel very user-friendly now, do they…” Sebek fell flat on the table, his own menu tossed aside in regret, a quiet, muffled scream leaving him, while Silver hummed in thought.

“It seems if you buy an omelette here, it comes with a drawing with ketchup… I have never heard such a thing before…” They all gawked, Sebek grabbing his shoulders and shaking him.

“(SILVER?! YOU CAN READ THIS HORRENDOUS TORTURE DEVICE?!)”

“... Yes…?”

“Ah… My son… My amazing son…!” Lilia crammed close. “QUICK! READ OUT THE MENU FOR US, BEFORE [NAME] COMES BACK AND WE’RE EXPOSED!!!”

“Exposed for what, father-”

“GYAH!!!” Malleus squeezed close as well, crushing Sebek between him and Silver.

“HURRY!!! (... If [Name] found out my struggles with a simple menu… My pride would never recover…!)

“(M-Milord…! You’re… CRUSHING ME WITH YOUR REGAL BOSOM…!)”

“A-ah…!” He scooted back, freeing the lad. “... Apologies, Sebek…”

“(No need… It was… An honor, to be suffocated by your hand…!)” He slunk beneath the table, nothing to say but a final salute. Silver placed down the menu, and the three looked beneath.

“... Sebek?” Forgoing manners, Lilia crawled beneath, inspecting the boy.

“Ah, it seems he’s taken a temporary trip to the Ghost Dimension! Well, we’ll just have to fix that~”

Malleus just hid his face in shame.

-----------

“... Alright! Sorry for the wait guys- uh… Sebek…?”

“... Uuhgn…” He looked… Deathly pale… “... An… Omelette rice… Human…”

“... Do you want some water too…?”

“... Yes please…” I wrote it down, looking to Lilia for answers, but he simply smiled.

“I myself shall have the chicken salad sandwiches, EXTRA tomato!”

“Okay…” I should probably just let them deal with this. “How about you, Silver?”

“... Could I please have the salisbury steak?” I jolted that down.

“Good good, and you, Mal Mal?” He wore a grim expression.

“... I have… A question, child of man.”

“And that is?” He pointed to the menu, a special banner in the bottom corner of the dessert list and my heart fell.

“... This ‘Queen’s Feast…’ You did not tell me about it when I first asked about parfaits. What is it?”

“... Uh…” I began collecting the menus. “That’s cause it’s meant for whole groups, not single servings… Anyway, did you decide on a meal?”

“... I shall forgo an entree.” He passed me his menu. “... Give me 15 minutes. I shall have it all consumed by then.”

“... Malleus.” He gave a passive glance.

“Did I stutter?” Lilia sighed, giving me an apologetic smile.

“(Do believe me when I say, we all tried our best to talk him out of it… Just indulge him, won’t you?)”

… We’ve had few order The Feast… And fewer were able to complete it, even IN groups…

I could only pray the Seven had mercy on his soul.

-----------

“... Cathy.” The kitchen had finally relaxed, seeing that despite his looks, Malleus was just a normal customer like everyone else.

Time to ruin that.

“We need a Queen’s Feast.”

“... Really??” Cathy looked up from the cake she was decorating. “Someone actually ordered one???”

“Yep.” I grabbed THE dish from beneath the counter. (It wasn’t even a PARFAIT DISH.. It was a oversized, fancy drink pitcher we normally only used for special events…) “We’re also gonna need an omurice, a salisbury steak, and a chicken salad with extra tomato!” Immediately, some of the chefs’ got to work, while Cathy looked around, realizing she was the only one on dessert duty who wasn’t on floor.

“Ah… Would you mind making the feast, [Name]??”

“Yeah, I got you!”

And thus it began.

First went in the fruits. Bright red berries in rich syrup, quickly tinting the very bottom a beautiful shade of ruby red. Then, I opened the ice cream bar, grabbing a scoop, and just pulled out the entire tub of vanilla of convenience’s sake.

“... So… Who’re the daring customers who ordered this thing, anyway~?” One, two, three, four, five scoops… And then a pause. Next came the cubes of poundcake we normally reserved for the strawberry shortcake parfaits.

“Malleus Draconia.” She almost messed up her icing work.

“HIM??? DIDN’T HE ALREADY HAVE LIKE THREE PARFAITS??? … Ah, wait! He called some of his friends, right? He must be splitting it then-”

“Nope.” Just like that, the entire tub of pound cake was gone. “That man’s either gonna face death in the eyes and laugh, or is going to leave by his side in a stretcher…”

“... You told him, right?! You told him it’s not meant for one person, right?!?!”

“HE DIDN’T CARE!!!” More ice cream, (Too many scoops to keep count…) and even more berries… “... He even said he could finish it in 15 minutes…!”

“Like HELL he can!!!” She abandoned her own work, grabbing the whipped cream and joined my side as I added MORE scoops. “If he can eat this thing THAT fast, it’s on the house! He deserves it! (HELL, I’ll even give him a t-shirt!!!)”

“Don’t challenge him, he’ll take it!!!” As she applied the cream, I grabbed a bottle of raspberry syrup, lacing it across.

“Please, I’d LOVE him to! The publicity we’d get!!!” The best iced sugar cookies of the day were plucked from the cake, and carefully placed ontop. “[Name]. It doesn’t matter if he succeeds. People WILL hear about this and people WILL want to come in an attempt this. We can make BANK.”

“Well then, if that happens, I want a raise-”

“Granted.”

“SERIOUSLY?!?!” A single cherry was dropped ontop, and we stood back, admiring our abomination. I glanced back to my once empty tray, finding that the other’s meals had already been completed and placed on.

“... I’m coming with.” She grabbed one of the kitchen timers. “You get the rest of their stuff out first, and I’ll take this out with you. I need to witness this with my own eyes.”

“Are you sure?!”

“ABSOLUTELY, NOW GO!!! (I HAVE TO FIND A SPOON FOR HIM!!!)” With no room for debate, only to grab my tray, I was shooed from the kitchen, back into the dining hall.

“(... Oh boy…)” I made my way back, seeing them all perk up. “Thank you for waiting, guys! So… Chicken Salad sandwiches for Lilia…” I placed the cute, heart-shaped sandwiches before him.

“How quaint!”

“Salisbury steak for Silver…” He smiled, seeing the searing hot patty, topped with decadent amounts of gravy,

“Thank you…!”

“And for Sebek~!” I placed my tray on a nearby table, and placed his omelette on the table. Before he could reach for it, I held up a finger, grabbing a bottle of ketchup. “Not yet~”

“BUT-” I wagged my finger, and grabbed the bottle of ketchup on the table. Had this been me a few months ago, I would’ve trembled in fear of making a mistake… But by now? I was an EXPERT in the ketchup art craft, and in merely a few moments, drew a cute little crocodile onto his egg.

“... NOW you can have it~”

“Amazing…!” They politely clapped as I passed it over. I glanced to Malleus, who pouted.

“As for my own treat?”

“Oh, TRUST ME. That’s coming next.” Gasps filled the dining room, and I didn’t need to glance back to know it was Cathy. I stepped aside, and with a grin, she placed down the pitcher.

The entire table save Malleus gasped in horror.

“Good afternoon, Your Highness~!” Oh, she was WORKING for that tip. “One Queen’s Feast, just for you~! … And as an added bonus for your bravery, if you manage to complete in it 15 minutes exact, it’ll both be on the house, AND we’ll give you a special White Day Gift Bundle as a prize~!!”

“(I thought it was a t-shirt!!!)”

“(NOT ANYMORE.)” She passed him a spoon, with a ridiculously long neck, which he awkwardly accepted. “Now, please let me know when you’d like to begin!”

“... Well… While I’d actually considered taking my time with it… I must admit, this ‘prize’ compels me…” He glanced at the parfait, that glistened even in the dim light of the corner. “Pray tell, what is included, if I may ask?”

“You may~!!” She flashed a cute pose. “Included in the bundle is a special, Limited Edition T-Shirt, a Souvenir Dish with a Blind Bag Charm, and a Picture and Bouquet presented to you by the server of your choice~!!”

Immediately, he smiled, and looked directly at me.

“... ONLY if you finish-”

“Start the timer.”

“WAIT-” It was clicked.

“GO~!!” His eyes narrowed, and he cleared his throat. Immediately, I knew we’d made a mistake… (Well, SHE made a mistake. Not me.)

“Uh.. Cathy, you might wanna step back…!!”

“Huh? Why-?!” I yanked her back, and mere seconds later, a burst of scorching, green flames blinded us. “GYAH!!!”

All I could see was green… I rubbed furiously at my eyes, and when my vision finally returned, I realized his scheme…

He’d melted the majority of it into liquid.

“... Hmph~” And with a smug grin, he easily lifted the pitcher, and began chugging it down like nothing. We were helpless but to watch, while Silver and Sebek marveled in awe… (Though, Lilia shook his head in shame, catching his long tongue, wiping clean the inside of even the slightest speck of cream…) Finally, with no mercy, he chomped down every last bite of berries and cake, until all that was left was a perfectly clean bowl.

“... Ah…” I took the timer from Cathy, and stopped it myself.

“Dearest~” He pushed the bowl towards us. “Do tell, what is my time~?”

“It’s about…” I glanced at the timer. “Four minutes… And fourty-seven seconds.”

“HA!!!” In denial, Cathy picked up the dish, staring it down… But the only cream that remained was on his lip, which he quickly licked off. “It seems I am victorious, then~”

“I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT LORD DRACONIA!!!” Sebek’s eyes sparkled with fireworks, as Silver was in deep thought. “AS IF THERE’S ANY CHALLENGE YOU COULD FAIL~!!”

“(... To devour all of that in such little time… His will is astounding! … If I were to… Ah!)” Silver stood, slamming his hands on the table. “I WILL ALSO TAKE A QUEEN’S FEAST!!!”

“SILVER!!!”

“FATHER!!!” … Wait, did he call Lilia ‘father…???’ “... As one of Lord Draconia’s retainers, I must train in all forms to perform to the utmost of my duties… To tackle this queen would be a great test of my own endurance, would it not?!”

“Ah…!” Sebek stood next to him. “I SHALL ASSIST!!! After all, it would be IMPOSSIBLE for a human like Silver to accomplish such a feat himself~”

“No, no, and NO! Now SIT DOWN!!!”

““YES VANROUGE (FATHER)!”” Immediately (and mournfully,) they returned to their seats.

“Ugh… Goodness gracious…!” He gave us an apologetic smile. “If anything, I do believe we should all be on our way… It’s been lovely, but we all have our duties to attend to! Isn’t that right, boys~?”

“Ah, yes fa-er, Vanrouge…!”

“INDEED!”

“Good! Now thank our hosts for this evening~”

““THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR HAVING US!!!”” Cathy was still frozen. I nudged her shoulder.

“A-ah…! No, thank YOU all very much!!! If you’ll excuse me JUST a moment, I’ll get your check!!!” She quickly ran off with the dish, leaving me alone to fend off Malleus’ smug grin.

“... So~? Where shall we take our photo, little rabbit~?”

… You know what? If nothing else, THIS would make today worth it~

“Follow me right this way, sir~ (... Heheh~)”

-----------

“(... Pfft…)” He twitched from his throne. “(... Ahaha…!)” Silver and Sebek looked over Lilia’s shoulders to see the tiny polaroid in his hands.

“WHAT A WONDERFUL PICTURE, LORD DRACONIA…!!!”

“Indeed… You make a splendid rabbit-”

“Not ONE. OTHER. WORD, ABOUT THIS.” The two immediately grew quiet. Lilia, however, just cackled.

“Oh, ABSOLUTELY not! This is funniest thing I’ve seen in DECADES!!!”

“LILIA…!” He held the picture higher to the light, the holo effect shining bright rainbow colors… It was the picture he’d won, with him alongside [Name] in their White Day Uniform, with a giant bouquet of silver, white, and blue roses in hand…

… And of course, the most awkward smile Lilia had ever seen, accompanied by a bright red face, a single, blue lipstick mark on his cheek, and a rabbit-ear headband awkwardly set on his head as they made a heart with their hands together. (Not even the thunder outside could hope to quell his laughter.)

“It’s a good picture, Malleus~! In fact, I think it’s the best of you yet!”

“SILENCE.”

“In fact, I think it should go RIGHT on the fridge, where EVERYONE can see it-HEY!!!” It was snatched from his hands, and swiftly held out of reach. “I WASN’T DONE LOOKING AT THAT!!!”

“PITY, I SAY YOU ARE!” Thunder crackled alongside his steps as he departed. “NOW GOOD EVENING!!!” The door to the hall was slammed shut behind him, leaving the three in complete silence…

“... Hmph, well HE’S no fun…” With that, Lilia spun on his heel, taking a cutesy envelope from his pocket. “... Good thing I asked for extra copies, then~”

“Father, PLEASE don’t.”

“Oh, FINE. I’ll just keep it in the album, then…” The three departed, ready to complete their own tasks…

“(... Vanrouge…)”

“Yes, Sebek? Speak up, now!”

“(... MAY I HAVE A COPY?!?!)” An extra was slipped out, and passed over to him. “(YES~!!!)”

He was going to buy the BEST FRAME EVER for this IMMEDIATELY.

-----------

“... Ugh, how insufferable…!” Uncaring of dignity, he flopped onto bed, glaring at the tiny picture in hand. “... To think this all started from…”

It sparkled brightly, even in the dim light of his room, and though he looked like a lesser court’s jester… They smiled brightly, and even now he could remember their laugh… How sweet it sounded upon his ears…

“... Perhaps… This picture ISN’T so horrid…” He rolled onto his back, holding it close to his heart with a smile…

He’d have to find a proper frame for it soon, so no harm would come to such a precious treasure…

(... And curse it, so any who tried to steal it would be SWIFTLY punished for their hubris.)

Chapter Text

“... Ugh…”

I didn’t bother looking at the clock, knowing I’d regret it. At the very least, it was a safe bet that it was well past noon. (So much of my precious day off… Gone…) But it wasn’t all so bad…

“... Mm…” He was freezing cold against me, save right above his heart, which a subtle, yet warm heat lingered… It was an oddly comforting contrast, one that warmed my heart when his fingers lazily entwined with my own, the fae quietly humming as he nuzzled into my shoulder.

“(Mm… Good morning, dearest…)”

“(Morning, Mal Mal…)” Really, I should get up and at least ATTEMPT to do something productive… But it was so easy to just sit here, and fall back asleep in his arms… “(... Did you feed your Gao Gao Dragon-Kun yet?)”

The quiet, horrified gasp was all the answer I needed. Within an instant, his side of the blanket was tossed off, and he stood tall.

“... Ghrk…!” Oh, that sounded BAD. “M-my hip…!”

“Are you okay?!?!” He immediately sat back down, an expression more grave than I’d ever seen…

“It seems… That The Seven have decided my time has come, [Name]... Let it be known that I have loved you ever since our…” He quickly counted on his fingers. “... Oh, about our third, fourth meeting…?”

“Mal Mal…”

“I’m being QUITE serious, I’ll have you know!!!” He laid perfectly flat, hands held together on his chest. “Now, for the funeral arrangements, tell Lilia I want roses. If anyone throws a fuss about them being ‘improper for the occasion, have them silenced.”

“Malleus, stop being dramatic… You know JUST as well as I do that roses are out of season right now!!! Where are we supposed to get them on such short notice?!”

“... You’re my beloved, yes?” With a cheeky grin, he shut his eyes. “Make it work! (... Ah, and DO stop talking to an old, withered corpse, lest your sanity is questioned.)”

“... Okay, fine… I’ll leave you to rest in peace… After one last question.” He said nothing, yet I saw his ears perk up just the slightest. “Would the decaying corpse like for me to take on the burdensome task of caring for his Dragon-Kun in the wake of his passing?”

“(... If you would.)” Carefully, I stepped off my own side of the bed, eager to return once I’d cared for the Dragon-Kun on the table-

“Gyah…!” Though it wasn’t horrifically loud as Malleus’, it still felt like inconvenient agony. “M-my hip…!”

“[NAME]!!!”

I crashed back onto bed beside him, the both of us praying that his Dragon-Kun would hold no malice as we struggled to cope with our horrendous joints…

Chapter Text

“... Ah…!” It was nothing much, just a small, harmless movement… Yet it stole his affections all the same.

“... Zzz…” Their head rested right above his heart, and their hand, which had been playfully messing with his own had grown still… There was no mistaking it, his precious human had fallen into a deep slumber…

“(... Hmph, to trust me so that you’d lower your guard so carelessly… How foolish.)” He carefully ran his free hand along their back. Most of their uniform had been changed for a more comfortable ensemble, a “shorts and tank top” combo that… Admittedly made him balk from all it revealed, on occasion… (Humans nowadays… They seemed FAR too comfortable exposing their ankles and shoulders…)

“... Mm…” They nuzzled against him, legs quickly tangling within his own. It was quite an endearing sight…

“... Hmph, I should surely punish you for such negligence… Perhaps locking you in a tower shall be adept! You’ll have all the time for sleep in the world…” He held them close, leaning down to place a chaste kiss on their forehead, just as they would often do his own. “Ah, how wonderful… That way, you would be safe from all that wish you harm in the world…” … Well, that’s what he told himself, at least. (Even HE couldn’t truly deny it… The thrill that his draconic side reveled in, at the thought of keeping you all to himself.) “... Hmph, well! I suppose that’s enough nonsense for one evening! What do you think, beloved~?”

“... Zzz…” He chuckled, reaching over to pull his blanket over them both. It’s thick weight was comforting, a sense of ease washing over him, and he couldn’t help but he grateful they had opted to stay at his own dorm for the evening… (Though he enjoyed the dreadful atmosphere of Ramshackle, it’s beds… Well…

Though he loathed to be rude, not only were the beds FAR too small for someone of his stature to comfortably lounge in, but the pillows were atrocious as well! They absolutely were NOT made for those with horns, much less long ears, and the feathers had long since lost their fluff… Ah, and the blankets were so raggedy and light, that unless they slept over him, he tossed and turned so much, that his horns would occasionally smack against the headboard’s lamp, which was such horrific agony… At least if he had his normal quilt, it would help keep him pinned in place, but then that would seem rude and dismissive of their courtesies… Ah, but simply gifting one wouldn’t work either, as he required a different weight than [Name], so if he were to gift one for HIS needs, it would SURELY come across as a horrid, half-hearted gift-)

“Malleus?” He froze at the knock. “... Malleus, are you there?” … The lights were off, so he remained quiet, hoping Lilia would assume he was gone, or asleep, and leave.

“... LORD DRACONIA-MMPH!!!” He cringed, yet was grateful to whoever muffled Sebek.

“(Ah, I suppose he must be sleeping… A bit early, I must say! (Though, I must admit… The thought of a nap IS rather compelling, right now~))”

“(... Father, in that case… What should we do about the sundae we brought him from the cafeteria?)”

“...!” He flickered his tongue out, and regret instantly washed over his very soul… He could practically TASTE the tart cherries, and thick, heavenly fudge even from here…

“(WE SHOULD WAIT RIGHT HERE UNTIL HE WAKES-)”

“(Don’t be silly, Sebek, it will melt by then!)” He glanced down, finding [Name]’s arms had curled around him… There was no way to move them or leave without rousing them from their slumber… He was trapped…! “(He’ll just have to have it once we wakes. Just make sure if one of you see him, you tell him as such, yes?)”

“”(Yes!)””

“(Wonderful! You two are dismissed.)” Flickering his tongue out again, he relaxed, finding the taste of the sundae was growing farther, though he still smiled bitterly… He couldn’t resist, giving them another kiss, and nuzzled his head gently against theirs.

… Truly, to sacrifice such a delight for their own… HE was the foolish one here…

“(... Ah, Malleus.)” He froze. “(Do not forget to sign those documents this evening, They’ll be due at the meeting tomorrow.)”

“(... Haah…)” Of course he knew. Really, he should’ve expected it. “(Very well… Thank you, Lilia. You are dismissed.)”

“(Thank you, but before I take leave… You may want to watch your volume. (I can hear you cooing from all the way out here.)”

His pale skin grew flush with color, and now he was all-too-aware to the deep, inhuman growl that echoed in the room. With a flustered huff, he forced himself silent, and shot a pout towards the door.

“(You are DISMISSED, Lilia.)”

“(Alright, alright~ I shall see you at dinner, Malleus! (And don’t forget to invite your ‘friend~’))” As his footsteps grew farther from the door, Malleus couldn’t help but think of one thing…

… Perhaps locking you in a tower WASN’T such a bad idea, if he locked himself in as well… (At least that way, he wouldn’t have to face such humiliation…)

Chapter Text

“What’s wrong, little dragon~? You look upset~” Really, he looked more frustrated than anything, forced onto his knees, his hands bound behind his back as his tail struggled to remain still… (Of course, he could easily break free if he wanted, but then he wouldn’t receive his long-sought praise for it,) and the gag carefully wedged into his mouth, fangs threatening to pierce into the thick rubber beyond repair.

… Oh, and of course his cock, which was hard and weeping with precum, absolutely DESPERATE for attention… Ah, but I wasn’t feeling so kind yet.

“... You’re a good little dragon, aren’t you?” I held his face between my hands. (Even on his knees, he was ridiculously tall.) “You can handle just a little more, can’t you?”

“... Nngh…” His tail smacked against the cold stone of his room. “Nngh…!”

“Answer me, little beastie~” Carefully, I took the gag, he relaxed, not wanting to nick me with his fangs, and labored for breath. His body trembled slightly, and he eagerly leaned into the touch, nuzzling against my hand as if it were the softest thing he’d ever felt. “Can you be a good little dragon for me?”

“I…” I scratched the underside of his cheek. “A-ah… I…!”

“One last chance, or I’ll have to discipline you again~ You don’t want THAT to happen again tonight, do you~?”

“Ah, no, no, no, PLEASE no…!” I smirked. Despite all his begging, he’d STILL had yet to, behave, or even use the safe word… (And he’d used it before in the past. Either he was struggling with his pride, or a certain, little dragon was beginning to get hooked on this…)

“So you CAN’T be a good beast?”

“NO, I-” I grabbed his horns, his back jolting straight. “NO, NOT AGAIN, I CAN BEHAVE-”

“... Mm!” I bit down on the tip of his left horn making sure to put just the slightest bit of force into it.

“A-ah…! No, n-no…!” He began to squirm, so I pushed down on his shoulders.

“Bad dragon, SIT.”

“Not… Not my horns again, please… Ah…!” I dragged my tongue along the ridges, all the way down to the base. Gently, I blew against where his horns met with his crown, before carefully nipping it. “AH…!!!”

“You like it when I play with your horns like this, don’t you, pathetic beast?” He shuddered, trying not to toss his head back as I brought a hand to his right horn, rubbing along it’s ridges, while giving another nibble to the tip of his left one.

“No… No, no, no…!”

“Don’t lie to me!” I bit down harder, the dragon howling in agony beneath me. “Tell me the truth, or I’ll stop right now.” I released my grip on his horns.

“Ah, don’t-”

“Then tell me…” I stepped back completely, grabbing his chin and tilting it to face my gaze. “The truth, little dragon… Or I’ll leave you to play with your own horns alone.”

“... Please…” He’d long since been brought to tears, yet I could see it in his eyes… They were sharp, brimming with desire. “More… Play with them more, please…! I’m a good dragon, so please play with them more!!!”

“... ARE you a good dragon?” He swallowed deeply, almost terrified to answer.

“... I am, just for you, Master…” Those words shot a heat straight into my core.

“... Good dragon…” I reached behind him, undoing the bindings on his wrist. “As a reward for such a good answer, you’re allowed to touch, nothing more.”

“Thank you…” His hands immediately shot to me, claws digging deep into anything they could reach. “Thank you, thank you, thank you-” This time, I grabbed his left horn with my hand, and brought my mouth to his right, gnawing on it’s side. “THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!”

This time, I rubbed it quickly, the added warmth from the friction making him keen beneath me, and I couldn’t help but want to test something… Like before, I licked along the ridges, trailing all the way down to the base of his horns. I glanced at the nearby mirror, finding his eyes shut, the fae frantically whispering praises (or curses) in a tongue I couldn’t understand…

And then, instead of nibbling the flesh, I gave it a gentle suck.

“...Gh…!!!” His eyes flew open, claws piercing so deep, I could feel blood trickle down my skin. “(A-ah… Oh, Great Seven…!)” I gave the spot a kiss, and this time, carefully dug my teeth around it, giving a harsh suck to the spot. “(...Mm…!!!)”

My eyes went wide, feeling something splash onto my leg, and I stepped back the best I could. (His grip on me was unrelenting…)

“... Holy shit…” He was panting, delirious as he desperately tried to tug me closer with his wavering strength, but that’s not what I could focus on… “... Did you just come from that…?”

“(Don’t… Don’t leave…)” Immediately, I snapped back into reality.

“I’m not leaving Mal Mal, I’m right here!” I knelt down, quickly pulling him into my arms. He began to sob again, clutching tightly at my shirt. “You were such a good dragon… The best dragon, okay?”

“I-I was…?” Making sure to avoid his horns, I ran my fingers through his hair, careful with any knots I ran across.

“Of course you were… Now, can you make it to bed?” He was quiet for a while, struggling to catch his breath as he held me close, as if I’d disappear otherwise. “(... I’ll go with you, it’ll be a lot more comfortable for the both of us.)”

“... I… I can try…”

… Well, it looks like this time, we both might’ve gotten a bit carried away… So we’d have to be more careful in the future… Though, at the very least, we made a few interesting discoveries today that I’m sure we’d BOTH love to experiment with again…

Chapter Text

"I don’t think this is gonna work out, actually.”

“... What do you mean, human?” He tried hiding it, but it was clear as DAY how thrilled he was this current arrangement. His claws gripped comfortably, yet tight on my thighs, tapping along the soft flesh as he waited (deceptively) patiently for an answer.

“Okay, look, this SOUNDED like it could’ve been interesting to try but like…” I gestured to the rest of his body, the (VERY) long, toned expanse of it that felt like something of a fairy tale… “... I don’t think this is gonna be comfortable for me, to say the least.”

“... I see…” Reluctantly, he released his grip, and I was able to crawl off of his body, him sitting up with a pout. “In that case… I suppose I shall have to accept this tragic loss…”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic~” I gently pulled him down by the shoulders, sweeping his bangs aside to give the hard scales beneath a kiss. “I’m not saying we CAN’T do anything… I’m just saying we can’t do THAT.”

“I see…” He chuckled, and I could already tell from his smile he was scheming SOMETHING… “... Well, in that case… I propose we simply take turns~”

“... I mean, okay…!” I really was expecting something worse, honestly. “I’ll go first then-”

“Oh, no, no no… I couldn’t POSSIBLY burden you with such a task so soon…” … Ah. Here we go.

“... Malleus??” He pulled me into his lap, baring his fangs with a twinkle in his eyes.

“You’re always taking such care of me, whether it be entertaining or such… It’s only fair I return the gesture as well, you know~”

“... But-”

“Please, dearest, save your kindnesses for another time. (I shall accept them wholeheartedly then.)”

“... You just want to see me struggle when it’s my turn, aren’t you.” He smiled.

“Struggle~? Why, how in Wonderland would you struggle~?”

“BECAUSE…” He already began moving us, with him laying flat on his back, and his hands eagerly guiding me back above him. “SOMEONE has a little habit of getting CARRIED AWAY when it comes to oral, and leaves me completely exhausted by the end of it!!.” He cackled, voice echoing throughout his room, and I could feel my face grow hot, hoping he’d remembered to soundproof it.

“How fascinating… Well, you shall be relieved to know that I have no recollection of this person you speak of!”

“... Of course you don’t, Mal Mal.”

(Despite my sigh, I was actually pretty excited for the evening…)

Chapter Text

“Alright, puppies!” Professor Crewel slammed a giant box onto his desk. “Before we start today’s lesson, we have something ‘important’ to talk about.” Murmurs filled the class, but with a silent stare, they shushed. He snatched a pocket knife from his desk, expertly opening the box, before tossing it back into his desk. He reach inside, and pulled out…

… Eggs. A carton of them..

“SOME PEOPLE…” He shot a glare outside, to the classroom on the opposite hall as his. “Have been complaining about how careless you pups are, so we’ll be doing an extra, REQUIRED project for the next week.” Immediately, everyone groaned. “(Ugh, me too. A waste of time, if you ask me…) … Now!” He grabbed a tiny cup from his desk, the dreaded cup of popsicle sticks… “You’ll each be assigned to random pairs depending on what stick you draw! For the next week, you will have to take care of a single egg, and make sure it stays PERFECTLY safe to make sure you dogs pay better attention to your surroundings AND behavior. (...Also, before anyone asks, the eggs are enchanted not to rot, and we’ll know if you try replacing them, so don’t bother.)”

With that, he held the cup out to the first student, who was already sweating.

“Now fetch! (... Hurry up, we don’t have all day!)” They grabbed the first stick they could find, and the professor moved to the next student.

“(... Hm…)” Malleus eyed the cup, glancing to the next student to reach inside… [Name]. He’d be lying if he said he thought this was an entertaining idea in the slightest, (really, it came across as a bit… Morbid, trusting the student body with these eggs, even knowing they were simply chicken eggs that would never hatch,) but if he was paired with them-”

“Oi, Draconia.” The cup rustled directly before his eyes snapped him from his thoughts. “... Are you listening now? Good boy~ … Now fetch a stick already!!!”

“A-ah… Pardon my manners, professor…” It was a relief Sebek or Silver weren’t here, or that would’ve turned… Wretched… However there was a new problem… He’d missed the color stick that [Name] had plucked.

…His week was now in complete jeopardy…

“... If you don’t pick one, I’ll pick it for you, and you won’t like it-” Malleus snatched a stick. “Good boy~!” The professor finally moved on, leaving Malleus alone with nothing but his stick. Its tip was painted a bright pink, so blinding he placed it face-down onto his desk.

“(... Psst! Malleus!)” His ears immediately perked up, turning to [Name]. He forced himself not to smile, yet he cringed inside, feeling the just slightest heat lick at the very tips of his ears. “(What color did you get?)” He looked around, making sure the professor wasn’t paying attention, before holding up the stick to them. Immediately, they beamed, holding the exact same stick to them. “(LET’S GO!!!)” From next to them, Grim looked over, rolling his eyes once he saw just who they were looking at.

“(Nyegh great… Guess I’m gonna be third-wheeling through this entire thing…)”

He gave a soft smile and chuckle, but in reality… He felt like the luckiest fae in all of Twisted Wonderland…

“(... Oh~?)” From besides them, Hunt looked between the two, before holding up his own stick with a blinding smile.

… It was… Also pink…

(... Suddenly, it felt as if his week was in ever worse danger than before…)

-----------

“Roi de Dragon~! Trickster [Name]~! What a delight it shall be, working alongside you two~!” Malleus forced a polite smile, while glancing to the other groups, finding all others in pairs of two.

“Quite so, Hunt… Though, I cannot help but wonder if this is a mistake…” At that moment, the professor walked up to them with the carton.

“Tch, as if I'd be so careless to make a mistake like THAT, Draconia.” He held out the eggs, to which [Name] eagerly plucked the very last one, holding it up to the light. “The truth is, I wasn’t given enough eggs for my classes, and I’m not buying a SINGLE egg for such a ridiculous affair, so you four will be in a group of four!”

“””... Four???””” The professor whistled, and the one remaining student looked over, his own popsicle stick a bright pink.

“Schoenheit! I found your group!” Rook’s eyes light bright with fireworks, while Vil sighed in relief at the sight of them, knowing he (and his grades) managed to dodge a bullet.

“VIL!!!” Rook could hardly contain himself, eagerly waving him over, while Malleus considered taking the egg and running with [Name]. “OVER HERE, VIL!!!”

“I can SEE that Rook!” Despite his tone, the other Pomefiore student smiled, taking a seat to join the rest of the group. [Name] was grinning ear to ear, while Grim groaned even louder, patting them on thre shoulder and whispering in the quietest voice he could muster.

“(Hey! Ask Prof. Crewel if we can just buy our own egg for this!!)”

“(Huh? Why?)”

“(Because~ WE’RE a group of two! We don’t need all these other chumps! (... AND I’M NOT FIFTH-WHEELING!!!)” They rolled their eyes, picking him up and scratching the irate cat behind his ears.

“(Look, I PROMISE you won’t be the fifth-wheel, and if you ARE, I’ll take you to that chicken place you like at the end of this, alright?)”

“(Nyagh?! THAT place?! (... Can we even afford it…?)” With a soft smile, they nuzzled the little thing, his purrs rumbling loudly.

“(I’ll figure out a way, alright~? So don’t worry about it!)” Malleus couldn’t help his own smile. The whole sight was simply another reminder of how he’d fallen in love with them all over again…

“... Are you done??” And then Schoenheit’s voice cut through like a knife, ruining whatever daydreams were moments away from forming. “Now, even if we have four COMPETENT people… We’re still at a disadvantage. That’s four people who’ll need to be responsible for this egg at some point, and while I have faith that none of us would do anything malicious to break it… Ramshackle’s architecture, on the other hand…” [Name] and Grim winced, knowing full well he had a point. Rook simply smiled.

“Ah, then would it not make sense to simply have our dear Trickster and Monsieur Hirsute stay overnight at one of our dorms during this project~? After all, if we simply excluded them, the professor would simply slash our grade regardless. This way, they can be involved, while drastically reducing tragedy ten-fold!! … So~? What do you all think~?” Grim immediately batted [Name]’s arms away, and hopped to the ground, making a beeline straight for the door.

“NOPE! I’ve had MORE than my fill of living with you two!!!”

“A-ah…!” They ran after the cat, catching him right out in the hallway. “(Grim!!! This is for a GRADE, remember?!)” The three sat quietly, Vil listening in with annoyance, while Rook looked all-too-thrilled about this. (Though he wouldn’t say it himself, Malleus hoped Grim would win this one.)

“(Yeah, it’s for a grade… But~ Don’t YOU remember that we’re BOTH a student?! So~ It’ll be fine as long as ONE of us is there~! … SO I’M GONNA CRASH AT HEARTSLABYUL!!!)”

“(NO YOU AREN’T!)”

“(YES I AM!!!)”

“(NUH-UH!!!)”

“(UH-HUH!!!)” Vil rose to his feet, beginning to collect his belongings.

“Let’s just go on ahead while they have their little hissy fit…”

“Ah, but it was JUST reaching it’s climax, Vil~!”

“Yes, and I’M about to reach my limit, so up!!”

Quietly, and with (mostly) great regret, the trio snuck past the two Ramshackle students, too deep into their own quarrel to even notice. (Malleus did make sure to pass them a note about their future whereabouts, at the very least.)

-----------
[Day One]
-----------

“Now! What shall we name our little enfant blanc here~?” Vil snickered, waving off his Vice.

“Absolutely not, Rook! I’m not risking anyone getting attached to an EGG, of all things.”

“But Vil!! Naming our little oeuf shall make us all the more cautious! Wouldn’t you agree, Trickster? Roi de Dragon?” [Name] smiled, nodding excitedly.

“Yeah!! It’ll help us see the egg as less of an… Well, ‘egg,’ and more of an actual being, which means we’ll all take better care of it in the long run!” They looked to Malleus, who chuckled.

“I concur, (as long as we keep the charade tame, that is…)”At their agreement, Rook gave a smug grin to Vil, who rolled his eyes.

“... FINE, we can name the egg-but NO-”

“”Benedict.”” He immediately shot a glare at Rook and [Name].

“... Puns… UGH! We’re NOT naming the egg Benedict!!” With their own smug grin, [Name] turned to Malleus.

“Hey Mal Mal~? Do YOU think Benedict’s a good name~?” Now all three were looking at him, though Vil’s glare felt strong enough to slay him…

“... If you think it’s an acceptable name, [Name], then I shall go with it.”

“HAH! MAJORITY VOTE, VIL!!!” He rubbed his eyes, while Rook pat his back, (though not without a victorious chuckle.)

“FINE, we’ll name it Benedict… As for custody arrangements, (since we’re putting this much effort into this,) I’m thinking that we exchange every second night, with the last day ending with the first group. How does that sound?”

“Marvelous~!”

“Acceptable.”

“Great!!” [Name] clapped their hands together in glee. “... Ah, should we do that by random too?” Vil thought about it, and nodded.

“I would, that way, no one can be fussy at anyone but fate itself.” [Name] then took a sheet of scrap paper, and began writing the dorm names on it, while Rook removed his hat and placed the torn strips inside. “Now, what’s the punishment if someone DOES break the egg?”

“””...”””

Deciding to ignore the sudden tension, [Name] drew a single slip from Rook’s hat, and Malleus couldn’t tear his eyes away, desperate to read its name…

-----------

“It’s not FAIR, LILIA…” Thunder crackled from outside in tune to the man’s whine. “I’ve done NOTHING wrong as of late… So why in WONDERLAND are The Seven punishing me like this?!”

“Oh, don’t be such a child now, Malleus.” The Vice pat his shoulder, yet the prince simply sulked further onto his throne. “Think about things like this! [Name] shall still be staying two whole days at Diasomnia, yes? That’s two more days than you’d been expecting! And on that note… You’ve yet to even prepare a room for them! Surely I’ve taught you better hospitality than THAT!”

“... A room??” Malleus scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous, Vanrouge! They shall be staying with me, like always!”

“... Do you TRULY think that’s a good idea, Malleus?”

“...?” Lilia took a seat (really, hovered midair,) with a serious look.

“While I won’t stop you if that’s what you both desire… I can’t help but worry, you understand. It feels as of late you’re been getting a tad bit… How do I put this… ‘Restless and clingy…’ And considering just WHAT it is we’re supposed to be protecting…”

“... Hmph.” He avoided eye-contact with the other fae. “Your fears are unwarranted, Vanrouge. I can assure you, I’ll be JUST fine!”

After all, it was nothing more than just a plain chicken’s egg, nothing more…’’

-----------
[Day Two]
-----------

“... Hm…”

There really weren’t any soft surfaces in his room… (Even his couch was more on the firm side.) Normally he wouldn’t care, but when they were sleeping, they couldn’t just place the egg on his desk and pray…

“... If I have no choice, I suppose I must…” With a sigh, he opened his dresser, pulling out the softest shirts he could find. Carefully, he arranged them on his desk, where it would be within his view, and inspected the makeshift nest. It was fine, really enough to suit the job, yet… A nagging feeling told him something about it was… Wrong.

“...” He glanced back at his dresser. Reluctantly, he looked into the far back, where a few of [Name]’s spare uniforms were. “... I shouldn’t, but…” He carefully took one of the soft, cotton shirts, and brought it to the makeshift bed. “... They’ll forgive me. (Besides, it’s MUCH softer than my own shirts… Yes, that’s it.)” He stepped back, examining the bed with another critical eye, and glanced back to the wardrobe.

“... Perhaps one more… Yes, JUST one more, and then it’ll be perfect.” Carefully, he took another shirt, and tucked it with great care into the nest with a smile. “... Ah, but Diasomnia’s quite cold… (Perhaps I should see if there is a heating lamp somewhere…)”

… Perhaps it was a BIT overkill, but… If they were going to take this whole charade seriously, then he might as well commit just a little bit…

-----------
[Day Three]
-----------

“Malleus!!” His ears perked up at their voice, and turned to find it’s source. Rook and Vil were at their side, the former cradling the egg, and at it, the strangest tinge of anger ran through Malleus… Though, he quickly shook it off, seeing how excited [Name] was.

“Hmph, you seem quite excited, child of man!” They tackled him in a hug, fireworks exploding within his chest at their warmth.

“Of course!! We’re gonna be having a sleepover, after all~!!” As they released him, Rook carefully held out the egg to Malleus. He took a deep breath, making sure to use great care taking it from the Vice, and only relaxed once it was safe within his palm.

“Now, Monsieur, make sure little Benedict is kept safe and sound, yes?” Vil looked at the egg, fidgeting in place.

“Really, just put the thing on a high shelf and ignore it until it’s our turn again, if need be…” Before anyone else could get another word in, Vil snatched Rook’s arm, and began dragging him away.

“Oh…!”

“Nowifyou’llexcuseusweneedtoleaveBYE.” Within a flash, they were gone, leaving the two all alone, with the egg.

“... [Name], is Schoenheit alright?” They shrugged.

“I don’t know… All I know’s that he looked super stressed this morning. (Maybe he slept awful…?)”

“I see…” A part of him was curious, admittedly, but for this once, his curiosities could be withheld… Well. Mostly. He examined the egg again, pouting as it gently moved along his palm. “Well, if you don’t mind indulging me with one last question, beloved... Is it just me, or does ‘Benedict’ seem… Different, to you?”

“... Different…?” They moved in close, carefully taking the egg themself. They squinted hard, but frowned, passing it back. “I mean, it looks fine to me… (Then again, I wasn’t really paying a lot of attention to it yesterday…) … Maybe it’s because it’s kinda a big egg…?”

“... I suppose…” It seemed to be the best answer he would get, tragically. “Well, we’ve delayed long enough! Let us return to Diasomnia at once, and make the most of our day off, shall we?”

“Yes!!” They took his hand, dragging him towards the dorm. “Oh, but I might need to leave for a bit to check on Grim, if that’s fine.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t dare withhold you from your familiar.” They grinned widely, giving his hand a soft squeeze.

“Thank you Mal Mal~” His heart fluttered, and he turned away.

“... Hmph, how silly you are, human…”

Yet he squeezed back, face quickly growing hot.

-----------

“...”

They had long-since fallen asleep, yet he couldn’t bring himself to do the same. Instead, his eyes were wide-awake, trained directly on the egg nestled securely in its nest. (Though [Name] had teased him about the heat lamp, they ultimately indulged him and let him keep it near… As long as it was off, that was.) Even if it had been hours, like he should’ve expected, nothing moved…

“(... Tch, this is absurd…)” With his free hand, he rubbed his eyes, and looked down to [Name], far past slumber and snuggled against his side. “(... Hm… How precious… If only sleep could find me even a tenth as quickly as you…)” He glanced back at the egg again. Nothing. He pouted. Nothing again. With a scoff, he forced his eyes shut, only to open them moments after, and glare at the tiny thing that had the AUDACITY to remain in place.

… Perhaps Lilia was right. This was genuinely beginning to stress him out… He KNEW it was a plain chicken’s egg, but it was like his instincts needed PROOF, and the only way that would happen would be if-

“*... Shhsh.*” His eyes went wide, and he barely kept himself from jolting out of bed.

“(... Pardon…?)” His heart was pounding, and he couldn’t hear anything but. He KNEW it had to be his mind playing tricks that lack of sleep was driving him to insanity, yet he couldn’t tear his gaze away.

“*... Shh… Shshs…*” Again, the egg wobbled, just the slightest.

The egg… No, his CHILD… Was ALIVE…

-----------
[Day Four]
-----------

“I’m back, Mal Mal! (I brought your homework and notes, too!)” The moment he’d even heard footsteps approaching, his senses were on high alert, until he’d heard their voice. As they entered, he smiled softly, looking up from his book and patting the spot next to him.

“Welcome back, dearest! I presume all went well?”

“For the most part! Vil still seemed stressed, but Rook said it was no big deal, so I just decided it was best for me to stay out of it…” They accepted his offer, scooting close, yet they couldn’t help but frown as they examined him. “... Malleus… Are you alright…? I mean, it’s REALLY not like you to skip classes…” He looked up from his book. At the very least, he’d changed out from his pajamas since the morning, and wore a comfortable, yet elegant gown.

“Of course I am well. Pray tell, have I given you cause for concern, dearest?” Without skipping a beat, they gestured to his lap, where a soft pillow and egg lay. “... I don’t understand.”

“Malleus…” They paused, thinking their next words carefully. “... Did something happen last night??” He gasped.

“How could I have forgotten something so important…?!” The book was practically tossed aside, and he carefully scooped the egg into his palms, placing it into their own. “Dearest, beloved, treasure… Our darling Benedict… He’s ALIVE.”

“... What.” They looked at the egg, and back at him in pained disbelief. “... Malleus, it’s an unfertilized chicken egg.”

“I THOUGHT SO AS WELL, but last night, I saw it… Our child… They MOVED!!!”

“... I…” Carefully, they placed the egg back into his hands. “I… Uhhhhhh need to talk to Lilia! Yeah! I should go tell him the good news-”

“LILIA!!!” He held the egg close to his heart, a smile brighter than the sun. “THAT’S RIGHT!!! Sebek and Silver, as well!! They MUST know this miracle that’s been bestowed upon us!!! … Ah, that’s right!” Yet again, the egg was placed into their hands, except this time, Malleus rushed for the door.

“... HELLO??? MALLEUS???” He turned back in innocent confusion.

“Yes? … Ah, do you need anything while I’m gone??”

“Do I-?!” They sputtered. “Are you just going to leave without me?!?!”

“Of course, it’s your shift, after all!” He did return to their side, giving them a playful kiss on the temple. “I made sure to stay right here with our child for the first six hours of the day, so now it’s your turn!”

“THAT’S NOT HOW CHILDCARE WORKS-MMFM!!!” He nuzzled them, before running for the door again.

“I’LL BE SURE TO BRING DINNER!!!”

And then it was slammed behind him, leaving [Name] all alone with nothing but the chicken egg.

“... Suddenly, I feel like my grades are in jeopardy…”

They put the egg back on the cushion, and frantically searched for Rook’s contact on their phone.

-----------

“LILIA~!!!” Sebek and Silver sat straight at the table, while Lilia sighed.

“(I knew it…)” The moment Malleus interrupted the tea party, he wasn’t even the slightest bit peeved at having been forgotten again. “Malleus, are you alright-”

“I’m MORE than alright, Lilia!!!” He was practically jumping with joy… Sebek and Silver exchanged concerned looks for their lord. “Why, I’m going to be a FATHER!!!”

“... WHAT?!?!” Sebek jumped up from his seat. “LORD DRACONIA, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE GOING TO BE A FATHER?!?!” Silver himself was simply speechless, looking to Lilia for help.

“... Ugh, he’s not ACTUALLY going to be a father, you two!”

“But father, he just-”

“I KNOW what he said!!! … Alright! You boys are dismissed! I need to have a talk with Malleus. ALONE.”

“”YES SIR!!!”” For once, the two threw dignity to the wind and BOLTED. Malleus fumed as Lilia gestured for him to sit.

“... Why did you send them away? (It’s QUITE rude to exclude them from such a joyous occasion-)”

“The egg, Malleus.” He froze.

“... I do not like your tone, Vanrouge.”

“Where is it?” His eyes narrowed into slits, yet Lilia wasn’t fazed in the slightest.

“... It is safe and sound, that is all you need to know. Now, what I need to know is why you seem to imply harm to my child-”

“I’m not implying harm to your child, you don’t even HAVE one. All you have is a simple chicken’s egg, and I am going to prove it to you-”

“OVER MY WITHERING CORPSE!!!” He slammed his fists onto the table, thunder crackling loud as screaming winds began to rattle the panes. “I COME BEARING NOTHING BUT MY JOYS TO YOU, AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?!?!”

“I will reciprocate those joys when you DO actually bear a child of your own, but as I TOLD YOU BEFORE, MALLEUS… SHARING A ROOM WITH YOUR PARTNER AND AN EGG WAS PLAYING A DANGEROUS GAME WITH YOUR INSTINCTS!!!”

‘You… Believe I’m acting like this because of INSTINCTS?!” Another bolt of lightning crashed through the sky. “... Heheh… Hahah… FINE!!! If you TRULY believe this whole ordeal is simply a result of my draconic blood, then PROVE IT!!!” Malleus pointed to the tiny cushion besides Lilia, where his own egg rested. “I SHALL ONLY TAKES YOUR WORDS AS TRUTH IF-”

“*Cchk.*” Without batting an eye, Lilia crushed the egg beneath his palm, red glitter spilling out from it’s remains.

“... What do you know! There’s not even a yolk.”

“Y-you…” His blood was freezing, and he felt ready to hurl. “Y-you…”

“... Malleus…” The elder rose from his seat wiping glitter off (or really, onto) his shorts. “As I showed you, it’s just an egg. How about we go upstairs, and put your own egg somewhere safe where you won’t see it, but no one will harm it until the project’s over-” He placed his hand onto Malleus’ shoulder, only for it to be smacked off.

“You… You’ll kill my child…” He stumbled out of the chair, almost tripping over his own feet.

“There IS no child, Malleus!!! Now please, calm down-”

“I DO HAVE A CHILD!!! I SAW THEM MOVE WITH MY OWN EYES!!!” As the lightning flashed brighter outside, a sickening green hue, Lilia covered his eyes in pain.

“MALLEUS!” His child… [Name] was with them, yes, but if Lilia got there first…! “MALLEUS DRACONIA, GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!!”

He ran as fast as his legs could take him, forgetting even to use magic as he dashed up the countless staircases, Lilia following swiftly behind. He couldn’t even hear anything else over his own thoughts, screaming in terror of what awaited if the other man were to reach his nest first! It wasn’t until he tossed open the door to his room that he finally stopped.

“... Ah… Ahh…!!!”

Instead of the peace he’d so desperately needed, he found nothing but an empty room, and terror.

-----------

[Name] was restless. Even if they were off in a private room at The Lounge… They still couldn’t bring themself to have a single sip of their juice. Rook and Vil themselves exchanged a look, before looking back at the lone egg on the table, the cause for this whole mess.

“... Rook…” They fiddled with their straw. “You saw how bad the storm was getting when we were leaving… Maybe we should go back-hey…!” If Vil had any regrets about tossing a straw wrapped at them , he didn’t care.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Rook shook his head, yet let him continue, taking a bite of his steak. “Even from just the entrance, I could tell Malleus has completely lost it. Going back to Diasomnia would be a complete death wish.”

“So why are we in THE MOSTRO LOUNGE?!?!” Right before Vil continued, Rook held a finger to his lips.

“(Oho~ Sneaky, sneaky…~)” Quietly, he pulled out his crossbow, (from where? Who knows.) and notched an arrow, pointing straight towards the door, which’d been moved ajar.

“(... DAMNIT! SHUT IT, FLOYD-)” Right before it closed, the arrow had still passed through, Azul’s scream of terror loud enough for them all to hear.

“There! Roi d’Effort and his compatriots should not be bothering us anymore~” Vil took a sip of his smoothie with a smile.

“Thank you, Rook. Now back to what I was saying…” Rook placed his crossbow next to him in the booth. “He’s expecting Ramshackle and Pomefiore, so we’d just be sitting ducks.”

“Indeed.” Rook stabbed into another piece of steak, holding it up to the light to admire it’s pink. “Our best bet is to hide somewhere that’s a busy, neutral party. After all, even if he is succumbing to his primal side, his responsibilities as prince are quite strong… He’ll at least manage to compose himself somewhat if we are to meet him here. (... That, and I’m quite hungry, truth be told…)”

“But-” [Name]’s phone rang. The three went dead silent, instantly spotting the Caller ID. Hesitantly, they picked up the phone, hitting “Accept.”

“... Hello-”

“[NAME]!!!” Even Vil and Rook winced from the volume, and they didn’t have the receiver next to their ear. “BELOVED, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!?! WHERE ARE YOU-”

“I-I’m fine…!!” He sounded near tears… They could never even imagine such a thing with him, with how cool and composed he always seemed to be. “I-I’m just-”

“The campus!? The town!? Hurry and tell me so I can come take you home-(ah…! GIVE THAT BACK-)” A tired sigh filled the speaker, as Lilia spoke.

“Forgive Malleus, he’s simply a bit frazzled right now… Now, if you don’t mind?” They could still hear him whining over the receiver… Really, they were more worried about his dignity at this point…

“... I’m at The Lounge-” Fireflies immediately fluttered from the room out of thin air, and right next to [Name], Malleus appeared, looking like hell since the last 30 minutes they’d seen him. Without another word, he swiped Benedict from the table, and rested his head on [Name]’s shoulder like a pitiful dog. “... Do you want a hug…?”

“(... Mmhm.)”

They gave him a hug while they waited for Lilia to arrive.

-----------

“... Alright, now that we’re all here…” Lilia was forced to take a seat on the opposite side of Malleus. None of them had any idea of what the Vice did, but Malleus growled if he came just a centimeter too close. “Let’s start this impromptu intervention.”

“Wait, what do you mean, ‘intervention?’” Vil looked at the egg, but with a frown, Malleus hid it from his sight. “... Don’t tell me, he ACTUALLY got attached to that thing?!” Rook howled with laughter, while [Name] shot him a glare.

“Oh, how quaint~!! You’re full of surprises, Roi de Dragon~!! (... I must admit, this simply makes me want to try and crush the egg myself-”

“NO! NO EGG-CRUSHING!!!” Malleus opened a single eye, making sure no one had moved, before resting back on their shoulder, lightly nuzzling against them. “... We’ll just… Have to convince him it’s not real-”

“Dearest…” He pouted against their skin. “I have already informed you that our child is INDEED alive.” Lilia groaned, rubbing his eyes.

“I’ve already broken my own egg to show him they weren’t… They’re all just hollow eggshells filled with glitter.” Vil gulped, and looked away for just a moment. However, it was too late… Rook caught it, and smiled.

“... Oh, Roi de Poison~ … Is there something you are not telling us~?” Vil smiled, but it was obvious to everyone it was forced.

“Of course not. Don’t you think I would’ve said something if there was?” The Vice chuckled, and took a sip of his water, its ice cubes deafening in the silence, and with a slight tremble, Vil did the same.

“... Well, if I were to hazard a guess, the egg Vil replaced our own with must be a living one.” Vil almost spit out his water, but forced it down and slammed the glass onto the table.

“YOU KNEW IT WAS FAKE THIS WHOLE TIME?!?!” Rook laughed, and tucked a stray hair back behind Vil’s ear.

“Of course, Vil! If your actions yesterday had not given it away, the egg would have! Its shell is an off-white hue compared to our first Benedict, and larger, as well. (I suspect that the kitchen was guarded, so you snuck into Heartslabyul and grabbed the first egg you found in the coop, non?)”

“(... Ugh…)” Vil hid his face within his palms. “(You know, it would’ve hurt less to just admit that you knew, Rook…!)”

“(I know, but this is more entertaining!)” Even Lilia couldn’t resist a chuckle, but it didn’t last long.

“Well, while that’s ONE mystery solved… We still have a problem.” They all glanced back at Benedict the Second, and the dragon cradling him. “... How long until the egg hatches?” [Name] cringed.

“Hopefully not TOO long… (I don’t think my attendance could survive it…)” At that moment, there was a crack. Malleus’ eyes darted wide open, and he held up the egg.

“(... Ah…!)” Just the smallest crack was in the shell. “([Name]! Beloved…!!)”

“Is it hatching?!” They scooted close, hearing a squawk from within, something fighting against the thin shell to escape. “(Oh thank GOD…)” Liila and Vil looked away in embarrassment, while Rook admired the scene in fascination, the child slowly fighting its way out, until…

“*... Squeak!*”

Within a span of five seconds, the complete adoration of Malleus Draconia turned into confusion, which shifted straight into humiliation and a bright red face once his mind FINALLY registered that no. The child within the egg was NOT actually HIS child, but..

“*... Squeak, squeak!!*”

... A… Baby flamingo…

-----------

“... Malleus… Please let me in…” They knocked on his door again, and at least this time, received a pitiful groan in response. Lilia snickered from next to [Name], unable to resist a smile.

“Well, Malleus… I hate to say it, but…~ I told you so~!”

… He just wanted to decay in peace,( and swiftly, at that…)

Chapter Text

It was so rare he’d felt such comfort…

His eyes felt heavy, though not from exhaustion as their gentle hand ran along through his inky locks. He couldn’t resist, nuzzling against their thigh with a pleased purr, (though a part of him wished they’d place their phone aside, and bless him with both hands…)

“... Hey, Mal Mal.”

“... Mm?” He managed to open a single eye wide enough to meet theirs, a grin fitting of a fae themself sprawled across them. They lowered the brightness on their phone, and passed it over to him. Even on its lowest setting, it still burned his eyes, but once they adjusted, he frowned, holding it out and squinting to make out its contents.

“... That is quite the petulant kitten, I must say…” They snickered, and immediately, he felt betrayed.

“You.”

“... [Name]...” He weakly passed their phone out, already feeling weary. ”PLEASE inform me, just HOW in The Seven’s name is this kitten ‘me…?’”

“Oh, PLEASE.” He readjusted, making sure his horns were comfortable. “You look like that at least once a DAY.”

“I do not.”

“Do too~”

“(... Hm...)” This was a trap, if he’d ever seen one. “Very well, I shall let you believe in such false fantasies.”

“Boo…” Victory… Almost sweeter than his favorite ice cream. “Well, since you’re gonna be like THAT… I’m not gonna show you the next meme I see.”

“Oh, how TRAGIC. How could I POSSIBLY continue on, after that.” Now THEY were a reflection of the kitten, both adorable, and delightfully frustrated.

“Well, since you wanna be sarcastic too, I’ll just revoke lap privileges for the day.”

“... I suppose if you must.” He was mournful, yes, (their lap was softer than clouds could ever dream to be,) but of course, all punishments had their loopholes… (And if they didn’t, he’d just make one.)

“... Mm…~” He sat up and stretched out his limbs, wincing with each of his body’s harsh, satisfied cracks, before fumbling with the edge of his blanket, pulling it over the two of them.

“... WAIT NO-OOMF…!” Once he released it, it pinned them to the mattress with ease. On his own body, it was already heavy enough to keep him from rustling too much on restless nights, but with them? “MALLEUS!!!”

Oh, there was not even the slightest chance of hope for them, (without his mercy, at least.)

“Mm? What is it, dearest?” They managed to wrestle one of their arms out, grabbing the sleeve of his silk robe, and gave it a firm tug.

“That was a cheap move!! Let me out!!”

“Mm, I don’t know, [Name]... Tell me, why SHOULD I release you?”

“Because you love me.” He smirked at that.

“I do, but I have no plans to ‘let you go’ anytime soon, as the saying goes.”

“Gah. Rude.” They managed to wrestle their second arm out with a huff, eyes shut, until they simply accepted defeat and reached for their phone again. By some miracle, it had yet to be knocked off the bed, and like that, they resumed their business.

“(...)” He raised a brow at them, fuming as they snickered at something. “(...)” He fumed harder, cheek puffed up in irritation, yet they’d yet to look his way. He huffed, a burst of smoke pouring from his lips.

“... You can use your words like a big boy, Malleus.”

“…!” His face burned, ears tilting low in embarrassment. “... I haven’t the foggiest idea of what you refer to!”

“Really.”

“Indeed, really!!” He rolled onto his side, back facing them, and buried his face into his pillow. It’s cool down brought tremendous relief to his scalding skin, and he forced his eyes shut. “Good night, human.”

“Good night, Malleus.”

“...” … Well, this was not the outcome he desired in the slightest. He looked back, where they lay, and frowned. “... I…” The tiniest ‘click,’ he could only assume it was their phone finally being shut off. “... I desire more of your attention, [Name], without sharing it…” His heart pounded, and his normally cool skin felt ready to melt… Laying his shame so blatantly, it was agonizing…

“... Alright, come here, then~” A part of him didn’t want to. Facing them NOW after such a ridiculous confession felt almost unbearable…

“...Hmph~” Exxxcept that was a full-blown lie. Without a moment’s hesitation, he rolled back over, and snuggled tightly against them, leaving no room for escape. “Since I am in particularly high spirits, I shall even be so kind as to forgive your earlier transgressions against me~”

“What an honor~” Their hands, though small, felt so comforting as they ran along his spine, tracing over the scales that adorned it. “I gratefully accept your mercy, and shall immediately make you regret it.”

“Ha, as if you COULD make me regret it so swiftly-”

“I changed your profile picture in my phone to that cat.”

“... Is that so~?”

The phone would have to perish, before Lilia found out and tormented him for it…

Chapter Text

“... [NAME]???”

“YEAH???” The pair of chartreuse eyes staring directly into his own… Unwavering… Unblinking… And unmistakably HIS was… Discomforting, to say the least…

“COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IN SEVENS’ NAME IS… THIS?!?!” It took a few moments for them to make their way into their bedroom, but once their head poked into the doorway, they wheezed.

“O-oh fuck, I wasn’t gonna show you yet! (I was gonna make a whole bit about it…!)” They stepped between him and the… Cursed thing, giving it a light tap on the chest. “Malleus Draconia, meet Malleus Cardboardnia! (... I’m still workshopping the name.)”

“... Malleus… Cardboardnia…” Unlike his own uniform, the fake image of him wore robes from his own home, and his gaze was stoic, almost inhumanly so... (Even his hair was styled in a manner that revealed the carapace cautiously hidden beneath his bangs.) “... [Name], dearest, my most beloved treasure… For what reasons would you even NEED this?! (Better yet, HOW did you even get such a thing?!?!)””

“I have a VERY important reason, actually!! (... And I asked some of the Ignihyde students to let me use their printer and looked up pics of you from political events online.)” He crossed his arms, a brow raised. “... Okay, so!! YOU’VE been getting MUCH too bold with your behavior lately!”

“I haven’t the faintest idea of what you preach, human.”

“I’m getting there!!” They pulled a notebook from their school bag, passing it over to him. He took it from their hands, carefully flipping through the pages with care not to tear.

“‘... Monday: Was almost late to classes because he wouldn’t wake up and stop cuddling me. Tuesday: Finished our potion so fast in an effort to flaunt, that I didn’t actually learn anything, Wednesday…’” He quickly flipped through the rest, before snapping the book shut with a pout. “... Well. I don’t see a problem here.”

“Well! There is!” They took the book back. “I love you. You’re kind, sweet, and so petty it’s honestly hilarious, BUT. It’s been taking a toll on my grades… And so desperate times call for desperate measures…”

“And those are…?” They (awkwardly, on their tip-toes,) put a hand on the life-sized cutout’s shoulder.

“Everytime you have a negative impact on my grades, I’m gonna cancel one of our plans to have make-up study sessions with Cardboardnia instead.”

“... You jest, yes human?”

“... Ehh…~” The smiled, avoiding eye-contact. “Yeeeeees and no. I’m not ACTUALLY gonna cancel our plans or anything, but I DO need to start taking more study sessions to improve… But I AM gonna be using Cardboardnia for meme purposes on my private MagiCam since I already put too much time into this as a joke, so might as well get SOME artificial serotonin from it, right??”

“... That’s…” From downstairs, the kitchen timer rang out, the human gasping in horror.

“THE QUICHE!!!” They dashed past him. “BE RIGHT BACK MAL MAL!!!”

… And once again, he was alone with the cursed thing… (It seemed to stare directly into his very soul…)

-----------

‘Me and The Bestie’

Swipe.

‘Look at this utter madlad lmaoo.’

Swipe…

‘You know Cardboardnia had to do it to them.’

“...” Post after post of that damned cutout… Lilia sighed, stepping up to Diasomnia’s throne, and carefully wrestled the phone from Malleus’ death grip.

“Malleus, why don’t you get off Social Media for the night, hm?” Sebek and Silver stood firm at his side, the former unable to resist ‘discreetly’ peering over in curiosity.

“How COULD I, Lilia?!” He snatched the phone back, speed-swiping through the rest of the posts, all with that infernal copy! “That damned thing… It’s living MY life!!! Not ONCE has [Name] asked for a photo with me as of late, yet here they are… Countless photos, with such sweet smiles of adoration… AND NOT A SINGLE ONE IS FOR ME!!!” Lilia managed to swipe the phone back, covering it with both his hands, and gave it a light rub. Once he opened them, there was nothing to be found.

“... Lilia. Where did my phone go.”

“I’m sorry Malleus, but it’s for your own good…” A storm began brewing outside, the prince’s eye twitching in fury. Sebek and Silver glanced outside, worried of what was to come…

“... No. No, you’re right…” He rubbed his temple, and with it, the storm began to subside. “It is naught but flimsy cardstock, and harmless fun… I will simply have to talk through my frustrations with them in the morning…”

“I agree, that would be wise!” Lilia smiled. “Now, why don’t we all retire for the night? It’s quite late, wouldn’t you agree?”

“... Indeed…” He rose from his seat, grabbing his staff from where it rested against the wall. “Silver, Sebek. I shall have Vanrouge accompany me to my chambers. You two are free to retire for the night as well.”

“”Yes, Lord Draconia.”” The two walked off, with Malleus sneaking a glance at Lilia’s pockets in hopes of finding his phone. It wasn’t until the door finally closed behind the two where Sebek and Silver relaxed, their lips taut in thought.

“... Sebek?”

“Who said you could speak to me, Silver?!”

“... For the sake of our Lord… I think we should destroy that cutout.”

“... W-WELL!!! … NORMALLY I would say that’s an absolutely idiotic idea, but luckily for YOU, I ALSO had the same idea, so for once, you seem to have a good one~! Rejoice, Silver, for this is an occasion that I am sure will not occur again!!!”

“Mm…” Sebek twitched. “I suppose the best course of action would be to just sneak in and take it.”

“And what if there are other students there to stop us, huh?!” Silver grabbed his baton with a cold glare. “... Good point!!! NOW LET’S GO!!!”

“Yes…!”

They didn’t spare another second, hustling out of the dorm to begin their mission.

-----------

“(... Clear.)” Silver quietly snuck down the hall, Sebek tip-toeing after. (Despite his best efforts, the floorboards still creaked under his weight. “(Do you know which room it should be hidden in?)”

“(Tch… If I had to make a guess, one of the dorms at the end of the hall. (They use it as a makeshift lounge, if I recall correctly…))”

“(I see…)” Sebek began to sweat as they passed [Name]’s own room, where Grim could be heard snoring loudly inside. “(Any windows?)”

“(In case you somehow DIDN’T notice, most of them are boarded up from the inside, IDIOT.)”

“(Mm…)” The Second-Year paused, quietly opening one of the final doors, and took out his baton. He held it reverse-side out, a pure light shining out from the gem, casting the entire room in a soft glow. “(I’ll check this room, you check the next.)”

“(Tch, don’t tell ME what to do…!)” Sebek grabbed his own baton, opening the other door. “(I’m only checking because I want to, you got it!?)” Silver had already ducked inside, closing the door behind him. “(... RUDE.)” A little TOO loudly, Sebek shut the door behind him, a light flame bursting from his. (It didn’t cover anywhere near as much ground as Silver’s, but… Tch, who needed such a pathetic parlor trick?!)

Though Ramshackle had gone through months of renovations, sometimes, cobwebs and rotten floorboards still managed to make their way through, and this room was no exception… Though, its aesthetic was a far-cry different from the normal rooms, with ‘old’ gaming systems, and a stack of board games he (tragically) recognized all-too-well from past First Year Game Nights, as well as posters and the like of weird humans he’d never seen with ridiculous outfits and poses…

However, as he turned to the corner, that was when he saw it… No… HIM…

“... A-ah…!” It was him, without a doubt. Those eyes were unmistakable as anyone but his Lord’s… And his robes, why…! They were of the Thorns’ woven hand, not that of humans!!!

… Was this… This MASTERPIECE the cruel beast that had been plaguing his liege with such fury-

“... SEBEK?!?!” The lights flipped on, and he jolted around, finding [Name] standing at the doorway in their pajamas. “WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?!?!”

“... Uh…!!!” God he wished Silver got caught instead. “I… WANTED TO PLAY MCKARTY 64!!! IS THAT A CRIME?!?!”

“AT THREE IN THE MORNING?? YES!!!” A shadow appeared right behind them.

“AH, DUCK, IDIOT!!!”

“... Duck??? Why would I-” They turned around, meeting Silver’s eyes just as he clocked them on the head. They fell cold to the ground, unmoving.

“... [Name]...???” Sebek poked their arm with his baton. “... SILVER!!! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!?!”

“... Didn’t we agree to use our batons if anyone tried stopping us…?” He looked genuinely confused.

“NOT ON THEM!!! ON OTHER STUDENTS!!! (... Oh god… What if Lord Draconia finds out…?!?!)” Sebek shook their limp body. “[NAME]!!! WAKE UP, IDIOT!!!”

“... Sebek, I don’t think that’s going to work-”

“WELL THEN, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T’VE HIT THEM SO HARD!!!”

“I wasn’t TRYING too… My instincts just kicked in-”

“I’M PRETTY SURE I HEARD A CRACK UPON IMPACT! HOW IS THAT INSTINCTS?!?!” They shook their body again, before just letting them fall limp. “... Oh god… What if you killed them?! (Humans are so weak and fragile, even an egg could do the job…!)”

“... Well, is it really a problem?” Sebek just stared, dumbfounded. “... What?”

“... THIS IS (against my will) LORD DRACONIA’S BEST FRIEND, SILVER…!!!”

“... What.” The poor Second-Year bluescreened, while Sebek was tossed through the Stages of Grief for the 7th time that day.

“HOW ARE YOU NOT AWARE?!?! HOW ARE YOU EVEN ALIVE WITH THE LACK OF ATTENTION YOU PAY TO YOUR DAILY LIFE?!?! THEY’VE BEEN JOINING OUR TEA PARTIES FOR THE PAST HALF-YEAR!!!”

“I ASSUMED IT WAS FOR GOODWILL AMONG HOUSE LEADERS…!”

“YOU’VE SEEN THOSE PEOPLE, MOST OF THEM AREN’T DESERVING OF DRACONIA’S GOODWILL!!!” Both boys glanced down to the body, realizing this was a situation they couldn’t ignore any longer. “... Alright, just… LET’S JUST GET THIS DEALT WITH, AND DISCUSS THIS LATER!!!”

“... That’s…” Silver looked humiliated. “A good idea, yes…”

“I know it is~! … So, since YOU’RE the one who started this… HOW DO YOU SUPPOSE WE FIX IT?!?!”

“...”

-----------

“... Oho~?” Despite his smile, his eye twitched at the horrid sight in front of him. “Some foolish human DARES to challenge my current speedrunning record on ‘Mostro Lounge Simulator~?’ … Hmph, foolish.”

… Well, he could go to bed after ONE more game… Or he would’ve, had his phone not gone off. At first he considered ignoring it, (it was three in the morning, for Sevens’ sake,) until he noticed the name. He had… A feeling of dread, but picked it up anyway, pressing the receiver to his ear.

“... Hello-”

“”DAD!!! (VANROUGE!!!)”” He cringed at the volume, holding the phone out as he rubbed his poor, delicate ears.

“Boys, why are you still up?! And what happened?!”

“I killed someone…!”

“... Oh.” Lilia sat back in his chair, plucking another energy drink from the near-empty case under his desk. “Don’t worry about it, just make sure you hide the body somewhere no one will ever think to look, and we’ll dispose of it in the morning-”

“VANROUGE!!!” He winced again, not expecting Sebek’s voice so soon. “IT WAS [LAST NAME]!!!”

“... What.” He left his seat, immediately searching for his darkest clothes. He hesitated for just a minute, knowing that Malleus’ own chambers weren’t too far. If he was too loud… “(... You two, where are you?!)”

“”RAMSHACKLE.””

“(Stay RIGHT there, and don’t contact ANYONE ELSE, ESPECIALLY not Malleus, am I understood?!)”

“”Yes sir…”” Sebek sounded moments away from a panic attack as they hung up. Lilia quickly tossed on some shoes, and pressed his ear to the door.

Not a single soul alive…

Quietly, he opened the door, not a single creak. (Even with the storm outside, he wouldn’t dare risk it.) He didn’t bother walking, instead floating out, and shut it from behind-

“Lilia, where are you going so late?”

“!” Malleus was sitting on the windowsill at the end of the hall, only visible from the bright light of his eyes. “... Hmph, I should ask the same of you! So late, yet you’re out and about as well, my lord!” The prince frowned, resting his cheek against the freezing cold panes.

“I… Had sent a ‘text’ to [Name], wanting to talk, but they’ve yet to respond…” Yes, he REALLY needed to leave, but also if he just ditched, that would be sus as hell, so Lilia forced a smile, and joined Malleus’ side.

“Well now, give them some time, Malleus! As we speak, they’re probably sleeping the night away!” (Permanently, that was…)

“I suppose, but…” He pulled out his phone, sulking at the lack of response. “... It states that they’ve ‘Read’ the message… I cannot help but worry they’re ignoring me.”

“... Well? When did you send it?”

“At 2:57.”

“... A-ah, I see…!” Oh no. “... Well, perhaps they fell back asleep before they could respond.”

“... I suppose you’re right.” The storm outside had yet to cease, but it lightened up just the slightest. “Thank you, Lilia. It seems yet again, I am in your debt.”

“I am grateful, my lord… Now, do go rest as well-”

“-Once you answer my question, I shall.” At that, his gaze turned sharp, lips curled in a sinister grin. “Clearly you intend to elope on an evening out, despite the foul weather… In nothing but ebony, as well.”

“... Nothing but a late night’s jog, I assure you-”

“Don’t lie to me, Vanrouge.” A lesser fae would’ve panicked, but Lilia was not such. “Let me guess… You were invited to something? By Sebek and Silver, as well?”

“Ah? Are they also gone from their rooms?”

“Indeed. I could hear them asking, practically BEGGING you to join them on whatever little adventure they were on, even from here…” Lilia took a seat midair, kicking his feet up criss-cross.

“Well, they just happened to run into some trouble, so I’m simply dragging them back home. (Nothing for your to fret your little head over.)”

“...” Thunder crackled outside, and hail began to beat at the panes. Despite his calm exterior, Lilia was beginning to sweat inside. “Of course. That’s all it is, isn’t it? I’m just being RIDICULOUS.”

“Malleus.”

“Of course YOU'RE just going to pick them up, oh, but why not stay a few moments, as it’d simply be RUDE to refuse!”

“Prince or not, I shall NOT stand idly as you disrespect me, Malleus!” He huffed, a thick cloud of dark smoke escaping his parted lips, and coated the ceiling in soot. “... Now, is this REALLY about my departure, or something else?”

“... They mentioned Ramshackle, didn’t they.” … Well! They were all going to die! (Life was nice while it lasted.) “... Why are YOU THREE invited to RAMSHACKLE, and yet I’m left ignored…?! I know I’ve been… Selfish, as a lover as of late, yet…” He turned his gaze out the window, yet Lilia could still hear the way his voice choked up, almost afraid to continue.

“... Hey, now…” Cautiously, he placed a hand onto Malleus’ shoulder.

“... Lilia… Do they truly hate me that much…?!” It took all his remaining strength, but Lilia gave him a warm smile.

“I’m sure they’re simply thinking of the right words to say… Perhaps that’s why they’ve invited those two, for assistance.” … The hail stopped, at least.

“... I’m tired, Lilia…” He rubbed his eyes, and took to his feet. “When you arrive to Ramshackle… Do send my greetings, won’t you?”

“Of course.” It may have been unnecessary, but he still made the short walk with his lord back to his room. “Anything else?”

“... Tell them…” He hesitated, cheeks flushed with a light, but fierce heat. “That the moon is quite beautiful tonight…”

“Very well, my lord.”

They paused before his door, Malleus giving the other fae silent farewells with a nod, before disappearing within. Lilia waited a few moments from courtesy, before casually making his way down the hall…

… And once he was FAR from Malleus’ earshot, he BOLTED for the exit.

------------

“”DAD!!! (VANROUGE!!!)””

“Where’s the body. NOW.” They immediately stepped out of the tiny man’s way, revealing the limp corpse hidden right behind them. Lilia removed one of his gloves, pressing two fingers against their neck. “(... Oh thank The Seven, there’s a pulse.)”

“”THERE IS?!?!”” They tried checking themselves, but Lilia smacked their hands away. ““Ah…! (OW!!!)””

“You two have done QUITE ENOUGH, already!!” Both boys rubbed their hands, the sting… Actually quite painful. “We can’t have this coming to light. Not only would the young lord go on a rampage, it could result in diplomatic trouble if one of the royals attending this school were injured.” Sebek looked around the room, for even ANYTHING he could do.

“SO WHAT DO WE DO?!?!” Lilia tossed the human over his shoulder.

“First, Sebek, YOU dispose of the cutout, and mess up the room while you’re at it!!! (Since we’re here, might as well…) Silver, you come with me!” Silver stood straight, clearing out anything in the room that could be considered evidence.

“Yes, father!!!” Sebek fumbled, glancing back at the cardboard cutout.

“O-of course…! … But what are you going to do about [Name]?!?!”

“There’s only one thing we CAN do…” The two boys leaned close, terrified, but listening closely.

“”Yes…? (AND THAT IS…?!)” Lilia kicked open the door, not even bothering to be quiet. (He already knocked out Grim earlier.)

“Gaslight them.”

-----------

“... A… Ah…” Cold… Freezing cold… I sat up, finding my clothes caked in mud, and soaked in dirty rainwater. “... Huh…?!”

“Oh, goodness! You’ve awakened! (Thank The Seven…!)” I could barely see… Even without the darkness, my head ached, and my vision was blurry. “[Name], quick! How many fingers am I holding up?!” He held…

“... Okay, I’m not even gonna bother counting. (My head feels like someone split it open…” Silver…? I think he was behind Lilia, whoever it was looked pained… “Wha… Happened…”

“Malleus was worried about you, so we came to check on you…” … Yeah, I remember Malleus sending me a text… That checked out. “We barely saw your body hidden in the bushes…”

“... GRIM-”

“He’s alright, we had Sebek go back and check for him.” I relaxed, laying back on the ground. “He said it looks like the place was robbed…”

“... Robbed…?” I tried to recall what happened earlier… I remember getting hit, but… I couldn’t remember anything else after the text… “... I… Could we stay the night at Diasomnia, tonight…?”

“Oh, of COURSE, dear child…! Ah. Silver!! Be a dear and help them, would you?!”

“A-ah… Yes, Vanrouge!” Silver picked me up, but I was too exhausted to even feel anxious about it.

“We’ll have Sebek pick up Grim, and once we arrive, I’ll make sure to heal any injuries you both have, alright?”

“... Thank you, Lilia…” I closed my eyes, wanting nothing more than for this nightmare to be over already.

“Oh, you don’t need to thank me for something so ridiculous… Just get some rest, alright?”

“... Alright…” Honestly, I didn’t think I could fall asleep after this, but… Before I realized it, the world faded out once more…

I wasn’t even conscious enough to feel the freezing rain beat against me.

-----------

“(... Haa…)” The potion had worked. [Name] didn’t remember a single thing about the whole ordeal,and they were safe in warm in Malleus' arms...

“You sound tired, old man.” Silver chuckled from the table, taking a sip of his coffee, while Sebek scoffed.

“Why WOULDN’T he be?! Having to inconvenience himself because of some unruly humans… (Really, I think we should devour them for such disrespect…)” The boy took a huge sip of his own drink, tea with lots of cream and sugar, but frowned, inspecting the cup. “(Strange… Did the leaves go bad?)”

“A pity.” Lilia took their empty glasses, and placed them in the sink. With a wave of his wand, the sink began to fill with warm water. “Now, you two get to bed. I’ll be sure to inform the young lord of what transpired in the morning, alright?” Much to his relief, the two boys didn’t remember a thing, either. (It was a secret he alone would die with.)

“Ah, yes. Good night, father. (And thank you for the drinks.)”

“WAIT.” Sebek’s sudden excitement… He wanted to be thrilled, but a feeling of dread welled up within. “Before I forget… I found the most AMAZING, GLORIOUS thing tonight~!!”

“”Oh? (Oh…?)” Sebek bolted from his seat, and not even a few seconds later, returned with…

... Oh no.

“I found him hidden in the hallway near my room… Hah, if not for my EXPERT sight, I might’ve missed him COMPLETELY~!!” … It was the goddamn cardboard cutout… “I have NO IDEA where he came from, but isn’t he absolutely glorious-GYAH?!?!”

Silver and Sebek were dead silent, in disbelief of the fireball that flashed before their eyes, and incinerated the cutout completely, hardly even a single ash to fall on the ground.

“... Oh, forgive me! My hand slipped!” With a smile, Lilia tucked away his wand. “... Now, why don't we just keep this a little secret from the young lord? (He’ll already be quite stressed about tonight’s events, after all…)”

“... O-okay…!”

… Well... That was ONE crisis averted... (Hopefully no others would occur for a while, at least...)

Chapter Text

“Ah…” The fairy stretched all its limbs, the cool, refreshing breeze a lovely change of pace from the warmth of the strange, glass building the post-gala celebration was being held at. While all the festivities were fun… Well, a breath of fresh air was so desperately needed… Really, a nap sounded splendid, but they’d already told the others they’d return soon…

Yet before they knew it, their eyes were beginning to grow heavy…

…

“... Mrow?”

“?!” Their eyes snapped open. The bright, afternoon sun had faded into a beautiful sunset… But more importantly, a horrid beast stood right before it’s eyes, yellow eyes trained directly on them. “... Ah… Ahh…!”

“... Mrow.” It’s white claws reached out, SURELY to attack!

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Barely, the fairy dodge the cruel assault, scrambling to it’s feet. “MONSTER!!! MONSTER, HELP ME!!!” Their wings fluttered, but ceased to take off. After so long, it’s pixie dust must’ve worn off…!

“Mrow.” The menace slowly followed behind, yet it’s tremendous steps made the fairy’s own frantic ones seem pitiful in comparison…

… This was it… This was how they would die. Not from Gala-related mistakes, but an actual monster…

“(... A-ah…)” They shut their eyes as hard as possible, hoping the worst would be over with swiftly.

“... LUCIOUS!!!”” Against the fairy’s better judgment, it opened it’s eyes. “Professor Trien’s been looking EVERYWHERE for you!!! Why’re you over HERE?!?!” Another being… A human, with bright, [color] eyes, and a soul of chivalry… They scooped up the beast, holding him close.

“Mrow, mrow.”

“Don’t you ‘mrow, mrow’ me, mister!! … (Ugh, I’m not looking forward to the walk back…)” The fairy couldn’t understand a single world they said, but surely, each and every one was words only a true hero could speak! “... Huh…?”

Carefully, they placed the beast down, and before the fairy could run, a hand was stretched out.

“Oh, you poor thing…! Lucious must’ve scared you, didn’t he?” Was it foolish? Yes, but they didn’t hesitate, hopping onto the hand of their savior. It was a bit scary when they lifted it to their face, knowing that their wings wouldn’t be able to save them if they fell, but… They trusted this human.

“Mrooooow.”

“I KNOW you’re hungry. (Why do you think the professor’s been looking for you?)” They started walking towards the greenhouse, the beast following behind. “Haah… Just let me bring this fairy back to the gala, then I’ll carry you back, alright…?”

“... Mrrrm.” What was once a terrifying journey took mere seconds. They quietly opened the giant gate to the crystal palace, and couched to the ground, allowing the pixie to hop off. The beast peeked inside, but the human blocked it from entering.

“I’m REALLY sorry about Lucious, he’s not a bad cat, I swear!!”

“...” Their clothes were identical to the countless humans that surrounded this place, yet lacked the same, vibrant colors. Whereas many of them held accents of reds, or blues, their own was of dull greys…

Truly, it was unfitting of them. A knight like them should only wear the brightest armor…

“... Ah, I have to go!” They stood up, scooping back up the beast. “Goodbye!!”

“... Ah…!” The fairy stood up, running for the gate. “WAIT, HOLD ON!!!” It’s wings fluttered, but refused to lift, and it’s pleas sounded like nothing but a ringing bell to their ears.

“PLEASE!!! AT LEAST TELL ME YOUR NAME!!!”

The gate latched behind, leaving them without any answers… Only sorrows.

----------

“Oh hey Malleus!! Glad you could make it!!” The man gave a polite smile, taking a seat on the opposite side of the library desk.

“As am I. I do hope you’ll forgive my timing… There were… Unexpected matters I was forced to attend to, as House Leader…” I felt like that was code for “Sebek almost died from Lilia’s cooking again,” so I wouldn’t pry, for his sake.

“Don’t worry, you’re all good!” My study materials were already laid out, and he did the same, though we both knew his own notes and textbooks were really for show. “So anyway, asides that, are you good?”

“... I suppose.” Ah. He was deathly bored today then.

“Oh, then would you like to hear about something interesting that happened today on my end?”

“... Hm…~” He tapped his pen against his cheek, the bright, green gem only outshined by the mischief in his eyes. “Well, I SUPPOSE that could be interesting… But if you fail to entertain me, your punishment shall be swift, Child of Man…~”

“Punishment~?” I leaned back in mock terror. “Oh! How could I POSSIBLY tell you n-AH!!” I leaned back too far, but my chair never fell. Malleus smirked, and with a brief wave of his hand, I was righted back into place. “... Okay, fine, I’ll tell, but ONLY because you saved my life and I owe you.”

“ONLY a story for your life? Either you value it quite little, or you’re trying to cheat me!” It was said in mirth, but oh that was awkward for the part of past me that still lingered. “... Hmph, very well~ Your life for a story, now proceed as you wish, [Name].”

“Alright! (... Now where do I start…)” Really, I should’ve started at the fire that broke out in history, but when WASN’T a fire breaking out in this place… “Oh! I know!” He crossed his legs, resting his head on his hand with all eyes on me. “So Lucious ran off earlier today, and everyone in that Hour had been looking for him, right?”

“Right, I seem to recall Silver mentioning the same.”

“Yeah! So I decided to check around Ramshackle, but before I got there, I found him outside the greenhouse!”

“...” For just a brief moment, I swore his smile went away.

“... You good?” He sighed, finally looking away.

“... The greenhouse, it’s still being occupied by the fairies for their celebrations, yes? … I just… Cannot help but worry about you venturing too close… (While I am rather composed, there are many who are quite cruel, you understand.)”

“Ah…” I’d forgotten that dragon or not, he was also a fae, and he’d know them better than anyone. A part of me wanted to end the story there, but he’d just worry more… “... Well, I DID happen to see a single fairy…”

His entire body tensed up, and a terrifying look overcame him, one I’d never seen before.

“I-it was being bullied by Lucious!!! It wasn’t messing with me or anything!!!”

“... I see…” He didn’t relax in the slightest. “... Did it offer you anything? Cast a spell?!”

“No, no…!!” I heard a harsh tear, and looked down. His claws had come out at some point, and pierced through the pages of his textbook. He looked down, and sighed, releasing it.

“... I… Am truly sorry. I had no intention of frightening you, [Name]...” He began grabbing his belongings, rising from his seat. “I should leave-”

“No, it’s alright, Mal Mal!” I grabbed his hand when he reached for his textbook. “It’s okay, I WANT you to stay…”

“... Truly?” I gave a soft smile, patting the spot next to me.

“Yeah, c’mon.” His face heated with a fierce pink, but he eagerly took the seat next to me. “... If you would like to continue your story, I shall behave and listen intently.”

“Do you even WANT to hear it?”

“... Well… No.” He rested back on his hand with a frown. “But quite frankly, on the off chance this leads to something, I’d prefer to know all the details…” I didn’t make a joke, knowing it’d make him feel worse, so I just tried to remember where I left off…

“... Oh yeah!! So Lucious had stumbled upon a fairy, and the little thing was terrified… So I just brought it back to the greenhouse and left, before some other fairy came by and assumed something else…”

“... Did it say anything to you?”

“... I mean, yeah, but…” I couldn’t resist a laugh. “I can’t exactly understand bell chimes, so that’s a mystery to both of us.”

“I see…” He looked around the library, finding no other sight of life. “Well, if that’s the case…” He rested his head on mine.

“Are you relieved?”

“Very much so…” He nuzzled gently against me, a deep rumble from within his chest. “A brief interaction or two should be fine, as long as you are not cruel…”

“I’ll keep that in mind then for the future.” I reached up, running a hand along his hair. “... Now since neither of us are getting any studying in, how about we just go back to Ramshackle?” He frowned, taking my hand, and brought it to his lips.

“... I would prefer Diasomnia, if you don’t mind appeasing a fae’s worries…” His lips were deathly cold against my skin, yet it brought nothing but calm to me.

“Of course, as long as you don’t mind me picking up Grim from Maglift practice later.”

“... Well…~”

I playfully bopped him for that one.

-----------

“””””A HUMAN???””””” The pixie’s smile was completely lovestruck, it’s own wings twitching fondly in memory of its savior.

“Yeah!! They were so cool, and charming… Ah, and you should’ve heard their VOICE!!!” They slunk to the ground, almost melting into a puddle. “It was so heavenly… So sweet, like the honeybees…” The other pixies crowded around their friend, who looked moments away from departing this world. “I could listen to it FOREVER…”

They all exchanged looks… There was only one thing this could possible be…

“””””... TRUE LOVE!!!!!””””” Not just that, but a POST-GALA love… (The only thing that could be sweeter was an actual Gala Love.)

“Ah, we’ll need to plan the wedding!!”

“Don’t forget the feast…!”

“Or the clothes!”

“Music, music!!!”

“Ah,wait!!!” They all looked to the pixie who cried. “THERE WAS NEVER A PROPOSAL!!!”

“””””... AHHHHHHH!!!””””” Other fairies began to crowd around the group, the countless shouts FAR too distracting to ignore.

“What did they look like?!”

“Are they tall?”

“EVERY HUMAN’S TALL!!”

“Do they like bugs?”

“How do HUMANS even propose…?”

“Ah, hold on…!!” The lovestruck fairy barely managed to get the group under control. “... They were tall, and beautiful… Ah, their clothes!!!” It flew to the window, the others following. Right outside, a group of students passed by. “The robes in the middle… Theirs was grey!! I’ve only seen them in such a color!!” Just thinking about it made their heart race… “... Ah, but this place is GIANT…! We’ll still never find them…”

There was only one day left of the festivities… Surely, it was impossible… All the fairies grew teary-eyed, knowing that unless a miracle were to happen, it was hopeless…

“... Actually…” One fairy stepped from the crowd. “For a fairy, maybe, but another human…”

-----------

“*... Bzzt…*”

I reached for my phone, turning off the alarm.

“*......Bzzt…*” I shut the alarm off again.”

“*......... Bz-*” I snatched it off the bedside table.

“(... Fuck.)” It was eight… In the morning. “... MALLEUS…!!”

“Mm…?” Had it not been for that, I would’ve assumed he was still asleep… Or even dead, from how little he stirred.

“You PROMISED to wake me up to get Grim!!”

“... I did?” … Note to self, never ask Malleus to do anything when he’s in Cozy Mode. “Apologies… I’m sure he’s well, however, so we should-”

“Nope.” He whined as I held him back from snuggling me. “I have a call to make.”

“Make it here…”

“They’re gonna hear you purring over the receiver.”

“Mmgh…” I struggled to slip out of his heavy sheets, and stumbled to the ensuite bathroom. “May I at least accompany you?”

“If you behave, you can come with me.” I didn’t bother to look back, already knowing he was snuggling my pillow with a hefty pout. I closed the door behind, and grimaced, seeing the three missed calls. Once I called back, it didn’t even take one ring before Jack picked up.

“Oi, where the hell were you yesterday?!”

“Sorry Jack, I, uh…” I glanced to the door. “... I wasn’t feeling well. I fell asleep by accident…”

“... Tch.” I felt bad for lying, but hey. This was NRC, lying was absolutely NOT the worst crime here. “Whatever… Anyway, Grim’s still here. We ended up having a sleepover, so just come pick him up whenever…”

“(IS THAT MY HENCHMAN?!?!)”

“HEY, HANDS OFF!!!” I laughed, knowing what was happening on the other end.

“(LEMME TALK TO THEM!)”

“TALK TO THEM LATER!”

“(I WANNA TALK NOW!!!)”

“HEY, GET OFF MY LEG!!!” I hung up. Would I regret that? Probably, but it would be hilarious when they found out. With that, I looked into the mirror, my uniform a complete, crumpled mess…

Time to get prepared for the day! (Again.)

-----------

“... What the hell…?” Even Malleus gazed upon the alchemy lab in shock.

We just wanted to take the scenic route, taking the walk from Diasomnia, to the Hall of Mirrors, but the moment we entered… Well, the pitch-black smoke in the halls was impossible to ignore. Trey looked ready to snap, while Rook scrambled to clean up the countless shattered bottles and contaminants on the ground, glowing bright despite the thick smoke singing books. “Guys, what the FUCK did you DO?!?!”

“NOTHING, [NAME]!!!” Oh Rook called me by my name, I didn’t like that at all. “We… We came to prepare ingredients for this afternoon’s lab, but…!”

“Someone…” Trey seemed almost reluctant to say it. “... Someone DESTROYED the place, and even left a cauldron on… If Professor Crewel finds out about this, he’ll…” Immediately, I looked at Malleus.

“... Very well. (It shall inconvenience me as well, during my own lessons…)” He held his hand high, and Rook snatched Trey, recognizing what was about to happen. Green lighting crackled through the air, a thick, suffocating tension, and harsh winds that threatened to knock us back swirled violently through… I had to close my eyes, and in that split second, it all seemed to end…

“... Hmph~” Just like that, the lab was back to its former condition, not even a speck in sight. “... So? How shall I be rewarded, for this-”

“ANYTHING!!!” Rook snatched his jacket. “I SHALL GIVE YOU ANYTHING, ROI DE DRAGON!!!”

“I-I was speaking to-” Trey snatched his sleeve. “([Name]...!?)”

“I’LL BAKE YOU A CAKE, NO, TWO CAKES!!! IN FACT, I’LL MAKE YOU THE BEST UNBIRTHDAY CAKE I’VE EVER MADE!!!” Malleus began sweating in fear.

“([NAME]!!!)”

“ALRIGHT, THAT’S ENOUGH, YOU TWO!!!” I swatted them both away. “WE NEED TO GO SO BYE BYE!!!”

“”WAIT!!!”” I snatched Malleus’ hand and he BOLTED, the two of us quickly vanishing until nothing but a swarm of fireflies remained…

“... Rook, do you know what flavors he likes?”

The Vice pulled out a list.

-----------

We manifested right at the entrance to Savannaclaw, the both of us already sweating at the heat.

“[NAME]!!!” From a nearby bench, Grim ran up, hopping straight into my arms.

“GRIM!!!” I snuggled him close, reveling in his cute purrs. “I’m SO SORRY I wasn’t able to pick you up yesterday…!”

“Nyeh, I GUESS I can forgive you this once…” The others quickly joined us, all looking happy… Except Sebek.

“... Sebek?” At Malleus’ call, he looked down. I noticed his uniform vest was the wrong color… It was orange. “... Sebek, are you well?”

“... O-of course I am, milord…” He sounded like a kicked puppy… Ace snickered, nudging him with an elbow.

“Sebek’s still pissed because when he went to get snacks at the cafeteria last night, someone clocked him cold and stole his uniform~”

“”... Huh???”” His face burned bright red from humiliation, and he fell to his knees.

“AAAAAAAAH…! I’M SORRY, LORD DRACONIA…!” Jack covered his ears. “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED!!! I-I just heard a bug, or something and then…” Deuce sighed.

“(I came looking for him half an hour later, and found him in nothing but his undershirt and boxers…)”

“BE QUITE, SPADE!!!”

“... I see…” Though he hid it well, I could tell Malleus was pissed. “We shall have to discuss this matter with Lilia, once classes have finished for the day.”

“Do we…?!” Upon Malleus’ firm look, Sebek resigned himself to his fate. “(Yes Lord Draconia…)”

With that, we took our leave towards the cafeteria, knowing that if we waited any longer, a certain cat would start to complain…

“(... Tch…)” Epel shot a glare at Sebek. “(Lucky Jack’s as freakishly tall’s ya…)”

“WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT OUR HEIGHTS SO MUCH?!?!”

Truly, he’d never understand humans…

-----------

“”...””

If I had a nickel for the amount of times we found part of the school on fire today, I would have two nickels too many. At least this time, the source was easy to find…

“LET… GO OF ME!!!” Jamil thrashed in Kalim’s hold,countless shattered jars, and sugar everywhere on the floor. “THERE’S MORE ANTS, I KNOW THERE ARE!!!”

“THERE’S NOT JAMIL, YOU KILLED THEM ALL!!!” None of the other Scarabia students even paid attention to us, all scrambling to put out the Vice’s endless flames. “THERE’S NO MORE IN THE KITCHEN-”

“IT’S ALL CONTAMINATED, IT NEEDS TO BURN ANYWAY!!!”

We just turned right around and acted like we saw nothing.

-----------

“(... Haaah…)” Just a few more minutes, and history would be over… Malleus had different classes for the next few hours, so I wouldn’t be able to see him until later… “(... How you doing, Jamil-)”

“(Don’t.)” He looked horrible, his uniform singed to a crisp. “(Just… Don’t.)”

“(Damn, don’t take out your bad mood on me.)” He rolled his eyes. I glanced at Grim, finding the cat fast asleep. “(... Were there really THAT many ants-)”

“(DON’T even get me started.)” The bell rang. I didn’t even bother getting up, not just because I’d get crushed trying to leave first, but because I was now Jamil’s captive, and wouldn’t get far. “It was ENDLESS… Some… Some MONSTER used the kitchen, and completely DESTROYED IT!!!” … Well. THAT sounded familiar.

“Really? Did they like. Leave a mess out, or-”

“The sugar.” His eye twitched. “It’s summer. What IDIOT leaves the sugar open in SUMMER?!?!” Well, GRIM would, but I probably shouldn’t say that. “It’s just ASKING for ants!!! … Oh god… Someone even took some of those weird jams Jade made, and dropped them EVERYWHERE!!! You didn’t see them, but there were WASPS, TOO!!!”

“Oh. Fuck that, actually.” We quickly gathered our belongings (and sleeping cat,) taking the conversation outside. “You HAD to burn down the cafeteria at that point.”

“RIGHT?!?!” He rubbed his eyes. “Ugh… I should go make sure Kalim isn’t late to class, but if you’re free later…” I held out a fist, and he rolled his eyes… BUT, he bumped it.

“Text me! If I can’t hear it in person, we can call or something!”

“Thank GOD…” With a wave, he disappeared into the crowd. “(Now hopefully Kalim actually did his homework, today, too…)”

Ah, Kalim… He was one of my best bros, and he WAS getting better… But man, he still had a-ways to go… I laughed, adjusting my hold on Grim, and spun on my heel towards alchemy.

“... A-ah…!” Feeling a hand tap my shoulder, I jumped.

“Huh…?!” The other student jumped, face flushed in embarrassment. I’d never seen them before… “... Ah, can I help you…?”

“U-uh… I, uh…” The first thing I noticed was their uniform. It was horribly baggy, which wasn’t exactly uncommon on campus… But coming from a Diasomnia student, it was. “I, uh… I made this for you, so would you, ah…” At this point, their face was completely crimson, and they just shoved the cupcake into my hands, running off after.

“Ah, wait…!” … Too late. They were already gone. I glanced down at the treat. It was a cute, albeit messy cupcake, clearly the work of an amatuer… But we all started somewhere. Even so, it was extremely kind, but…

“... Ah… Was that a confession…?”

… Oh boy, this was awkward…

-----------

“... Hey~ [Name]~” Ruggie pulled up a seat next to me, beaming bright like the sun.

“No you can’t have it.”

“Wha-” He gasped, leaning back in his seat in mock, anguish. “How CRUEL, assuming I was gonna-ACK!!!” He leaned back too far, and toppled over.

“... You good???”

“... OOOOUGH…!” Yeah, he was fine. “My poor leg… I think it’s BROKEN…!”

“Sure it is.” I ignored him, mixing my cauldron.

“Ah… If ONLY I had something delicious to make me feel better…! (It wouldn’t cover the medical bills… But it would at LEAST make them more bearable-)”

“Are you just gonna howl like a dying animal until I give you the cupcake?”

“Why? Would crying work better?” … It felt rude, if the intentions were what I thought they were, but…

“... Fine, you can have it.”

“YES!!!” He tore through my bag, laughing like a maniac once he found the cupcake in bright cellophane, and tore it out. “Chow time, here I c-”

And just like that, it was swiped from his maw by a crimson glove.

“WAH!!!”

“BAD DOG!!! NO TREATS IN THE LAB!!!” Without an ounce of mercy, Professor Crewel tossed the cupcake into the trash. “If I catch you sneaking in treats again, it’ll be detention for you, understood?!” Ruggie groaned, yet the professor waited patiently for an answer.

“... Yes, Prof. Crewel…” With a smirk, he continued his round around the lab. (I felt bad, but at least it was a convenient excuse for why I didn’t eat it!) “... Mm?” Ruggie’s ear twitched. He sat up, looking around the room.

“What’s up?” He squinted, raising his ears higher… But sighed.

“Nothing… Thought I hear a bell or something, but with all the noise, I’m not so sure…” He slunk back into his seat. “(Almost like one of those fairies from a couple months ago…)”

“Huh, weird…” I couldn’t resist my own peek at the window. For just a moment, I thought I saw something… But it must’ve been my mind playing tricks.

-----------

“... Wait, so YOU got a free cupcake, and gave it to RUGGIE?!?!” Oh I did not think about the consequences of my action well enough.

“(I’m SORRY, GRIM.)” He lightly whacked my thigh. “(I didn’t think about it… (You were still asleep, and all….))”

“NOT FORGIVEN!!!” I rolled my eyes, continuing my notes. “GET ME A NEW ONE!!!”

“(I don’t even know the NAME of whoever gave it to me! Also be quiet before someone yells at us!!!)” He frowned, hopping onto the library table, and tossed his body onto my textbook. “(... Wow. REAL mature, Grim.)”

“(DEAL WITH IT.)” I rubbed my eyes, and for a split second, I swore I heard a bell… “(... Hm…?)” When I looked up, there was a cupcake just an arm’s reach away, just like the one from before. “... Huh?”

“(What.)” I reached out for it, but another hand snatched it instead.

“(Eheheh~ Bringin’ snacks into the library, Shrimpy~? That’s against the rules, y’know~)”

“(Wh-that’s RICH coming from YOU, Floyd…!)” He took a seat next to me, examining the shoddy frosting. “(Didn’t you legit bring a whole rotisserie chicken last week?)”

“(You can’t PROVE I did~)” Well, I didn’t WANT to (it was hilarious) but it was true.

“(Whatever…)” I waved him off, ignoring Grim’s scoff at yet again letting ANOTHER person take his possible snack. Moments away from when he was about to toss it up for a chomp, I remembered… “(Oh shoot!!!)”

“(Ack…!)” He glanced over at the last minute, the cupcake hitting his eye, and bouncing down to the ground. “(Hey…!)”

“(You’ll thank me.)”

“(And why’s that?!)”

“(Someone might’ve stolen Jade’s jams for that-)” On pure hatred and Cain Instinct, Floyd immediately crushed the cupcake beneath his heel. “(... You could’ve just thrown it away.)”

He didn’t hear, too distracted trying to rub the frosting off his face, as if it were burning his skin.

-----------

“...”

“... If you’re not gonna eat your biscuit can I have it?” I quickly placed it onto Grim’s plate. “YEAH!!!”

I’d been searching through the crowds all day, yet I’d yet to find that strange student… While I had no interest in accepting their confession… Well, I wanted to let them down easy. (I ALSO wanted to know if they were a ninja or something…)

“You seem stressed, child of man…”

“AH…!!” Seeing it was just Malleus, I relaxed. He took a seat at our table, his own plate ignored in my favor. “Sorry, I’m fine… It’s just… Oh! Actually!!” I clapped my hands together. “You know most of your students, right?”

“Not personally, if that’s what you’re inquiring.”

“No, no, just in general. I saw someone from Diasomnia earlier, and needed to talk to them about something!”

“I see…” Grim tried snatching Malleus’ biscuit, but was quickly waved off.

“(Boo…!)”

“Well, if I cannot recall them, then Lilia should… Describe them to me.” Grim tried stealing his biscuit again, so Malleus just gave it to him this time.

“(Yes!!!)”

“... Well…” I thought hard about them. “I can’t remember much, honestly… They had a really baggy uniform, though.” He frowned.

“I can already tell you, I can recall no one in Diasomnia who dresses in that manner.”

“... Huh.” I tried remembering more about them… But the interaction was so brief, all I remembered was that. “... Well, on the off-chance you remember, could you tell me? I have something important to tell them.”

“I could simply deliver the message, if you’d like.”

“Ah…” Grim was watching. (Nosy cat…) “... I’ll just tell you the truth. Whoever that student was, I think they tried confessing to me.”

Immediately, his mood soured. (Grim? He just howled, and leaned back so far he fell out of his chair… That was happening a lot, today…)

“One of MY students, did…?”

“Well, unless they were wearing a stolen uniform…” That would be ridiculous, though. I reached down, picking up the whining cat as I continued. “Anyways, they gave me a cupcake and ran off, but it got confiscated. (Really, the weird part is he somehow gave me more without even showing up…)”

“(... Tch.)” He grabbed his fork, stabbing into his steak. “(The AUDACITY…)”

“... Hey.” He looked up. “You know I wouldn’t accept it, right? (I just want to let them down easy.)”

“I am well aware, after all, that heart of yours is one of the reasons I’ve grown fond of you!” A group in green-vested uniforms passed by. He looked at them, frowning as none of them fit the bill. “It does not change the fact that such blatant disrespect shall not be tolerated-”

“No murder.”

“Oh, PLEASE, as if MURDER’S a good-enough charge for them…” Suddenly, it was freezing… We both glanced across the cafeteria, finding Lilia staring straight at us with a cross look. “... It was a JEST, Lilia…”

He huffed, and returned to his meal, but Malleus sighed, knowing he was still listening.

“(... If they approach you again, you shall inform me, yes?)” I gave him a smile.

“(Of course, as long as you don’t kill them.)”

“(No promises.)” With perfect precision, a grape was chucked against his head at inhuman speed. “(ALRIGHT, I WON’T!!!)”

Lilia smirked from the other side. (I had a feeling he’d be keeping an eye on Malleus anyways…)

-----------

“Oh, Malleus~!” He walked faster. “I can hear you, y’know~?”

The blasted devil and his hearing…! He was only a few steps away from his room, there, he would be safe-

“BOO!”

“GYAH…!” Tiny hands snatched him, dragging him the opposite direction. “UNHAND ME THIS INSTANT, LILIA!!!”

“NOPE!” No matter how much he fought, the other fae’s grip refused to budge. “WE have a SERIOUS discussion to make about what IS and ISN’T acceptable in human society!!.” Malleus snatched onto the wall, his grip cracking the stone beneath. “... REALLY?!”

“I’LL PAY FOR REPAIRS.”

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT, MALLEUS!” Sebek wandered by, both faes immediately looking at him.

“... Uh…”

“”SEBEK!!!”” He looked between the two.

“GET LILIA OFF OF ME!!!”

“NO, HELP ME WITH MALLEUS!!! (IT’S FOR HIS OWN GOOD!)”

“U-uh…!”

“”NOW!!!!!!””

“U-ugh… I’M COMING, MILORD!!!” He grabbed Malleus, and began pulling.

“TRAITOR!!!” None could describe the petty betrayal Lilia Vanrouge felt at that moment. “WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON BOTH OF YOU-”

“... Am I interrupting something…?” Lilia cried in relief at the sight of Silver.

“SON!!!” His hip was beginning to ache from this… “COME HELP YOUR FATHER!!!” He looked at Malleus and Sebek, who were pleading.

“... Father, are-”

“JUST DO IT!!!”

“Alright, alright…!” He grabbed his baton, and ran at Sebek.

“GYAH…!” He held both his hands up to block the blow, but alas!! It was a feint!!

“SEBEK-” Lilia dove it, ripping Malleus’ hand off the wall himself. “UNHAND ME-MMPH!!!” Lilia sighed, quickly dragging the prince away to his own room… Sebek watched in horror, while Silver gasped.

“Ah, father! Wait!! I had a question about the new student!” Both Malleus and Lilia froze, exchanging a look.

“... Silver, WHAT ‘new student?’” He released Malleus, helping the man up, while he dusted his clothes.

“... Have you two somehow not been informed…?” He scratched his head. “I figured you two would know better than anyone…” A horrible feeling of dread welled within Malleus.

“... Silver… Do you by chance know what they look like?”

“... I’m afraid all I recall about them is their uniform…”Sebek slowly crawled up from the floor, listening intently. “It was quite ill-fitting on them. Oh, and their eyes. I caught only a glimpse, but it was enough to tell they weren’t human.”

“(... An ill-fitting uniform…)” Just like [Name]’s own description… “... Lilia.”

“Really, you MUST keep me updated on manners like these… But I agree. Whoever this student is, it gives me a bad feeling…” Malleus turned to his juniors, who stood straight at attention.

“Sebek, Silver! Locate this student at all costs, and return them to the dorm! Is that clear?”

“”Yes, Lord Draconia!!!”” They both ran off, and Malleus immediately pulled out his phone, typing in [Name]’s number.

“(... Please answer…!)”

-----------

“... Huh?” There was a letter on the desk… I made sure Grim wasn’t looking, and opened it.

‘Please meet me at the crystal palace.’

“(... The crystal palace…?)” … What the hell were they talking about? “(... Wait, maybe I should try thinking like Rook about this.)” Crystal palace, crystal palace… “(... THE GREENHOUSE.)”

“Hey, henchmen, what the heck’re you talking about?” I gave Grim a pat, getting up from the couch.

“Nothing, I just have to do something quickly. Stay RIGHT here, alright?”

“Nyeh, you’re DITCHING me?!”

“It’s gonna be boring, Grim… (And painful.)”

“Ugh, FINE.” He flopped onto his side. “At least bring me some fruit if you ARE goin’ to the Greenhouse…”

“I will, don’t worry~” It wasn’t going to take too long, so I didn’t bother bringing anything. I managed to get just down the path, when I remembered the fairies…

… I shouldn’t be INSIDE the actual greenhouse, so as long as I kept my distance, it should be fine…

-----------

“YOU!!!” The Scarbian and Pomefiore students jumped at Sebek’s shout. “TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT DISRESPECTFUL ‘DIASOMNIA’ STUDENT AROUND CAMPUS!!!”

“WHA-WHO THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?!?!” Sebek grabbed his baton, the students stepping back.

“DON’T LIE TO ME!!! FESS UP NOW!!!”

“GYAH!!!”

“VICE HOUSE LEADER VIPER!!!”

They (unsurprisingly) made a break for it.

-----------

“Ah, pardon me, Rosehearts!” The House Leader turned back, surprised to see Lilia at Heartslabyul so late.

“Vanrouge… Is something the matter?”

“Yes, well…” Without a picture, they were at a disadvantage… But someone with a picture-perfect memory would do. “Apparently there has been a new student from Diasomnia causing trouble today, yet we’ve heard of no such thing… The only lead we have is that their uniform was ill-fitting.”

“Ill-fitting…” The Leader’s eyes widened. “Ah, I do recall seeing someone like that, in fact! When I was leaving The Mirror Chamber earlier, I couldn’t help but… Notice them…” He shuddered at the memory. “Lack of tailor aside… I believe they were headed towards the Greenhouse.”

“I see…” A perfect place to commit crimes in peace, at the right time of day. “Thank you for your assistance, Rosehearts!”

“You’re welcome… Now, if you don’t mind a question of my own…” Riddle groaned. “... Does this have anything to do with the student who destroyed the lab this morning…?”

-----------

“Excuse me, Shroud, may I-”

The door was slammed on Silver’s face.

“... SHROUD, MAY I ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS?”

He knocked again anyway.

-----------

“Ah, Grim…!” Malleus had yet to find [Name], but the sight of the little familiar safe at Ramshackle filled him with relief. “Pray tell, where is [Name]?!”

“Nyeh?” He looked up from [Name]’s phone, watching Spelldrive videos. “They went to the Greenhouse for some reason, why?”

“The Greenhouse…? (... Ah…!)”

He vanished into a swarm of fireflies as quickly as he arrived. (Grim just shrugged and went back to his match.)

-----------

Finally, for the second time today, I saw the student. They beamed brightly once I reached them, almost as bright as the stars, before walking further towards the Greenhouse.

“Ah, wait, it’s dangerous to go in there right n-OW!!!” They grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the gate. “WAIT, THE FAIRIES ARE STILL CELEBRATING, WE CAN’T-”

The gates opened FOR us, immediately blasting us with thick, humid air, and horrifically flowery scents.

Oh, and the painfully loud ringing of bells.

“Ah…!” I covered my ears, but I was dragged further in. Countless flower petals fell through the air like confetti, alongside joyous music… Fairies of all kinds lined our sides, wide smiles, and sparkling bright from pixie dust…

“What… The hell is this…?!” The student cocked their head in confusion.

“What do you mean? It’s our wedding!”

“... WHAT?!?!” A shimmer of golden dust showered upon us, casting both our uniforms in a bright, ethereal glow. Their lanky uniform melted away into a charming, well-tailored robe of woven wood, a crown of leaves placed delicately on their head, while my own was of countless flower petals, every and all colors you could imagine. (Even my shoes were of tightly woven vines.) “Oh. Oh no, absolutely NOT, this is-”

“True love, right~?” On their back, where nothing had been before, was now a large pair of wings, sparkling bright in the bright sunlight. “When you saved me yesterday… Ah, I knew, we ALL knew it had to be~!”

“...” I turned around and ran. “MALLEUS!!!”

“HUH?! WHERE’RE YOU GOING?!?!” A hoard of fairies blocked the exit, even more shoving me back towards the altar, where a wedding cake waited, similar to the cupcakes from before. “HEY, STOP IT…!”

“Please don’t panic…! I know it’s sudden, but once midnight strikes, the Post-Gala celebrations will end! We’ll all have to leave!!!” A single slice of the cake was cut out, placed on a glass dish for the both of us. “If you don’t have a bite of the cake, you won’t be able to go back with me!!”

“NOT EVEN VOWS?!?!” Wait, that was the wrong thing to get offended about!

“... Vows…?” … ON SECOND THOUGHT…

“Y-yeah…! Vows!!! “ All the fairies stared in confusion. “Uh… In a lot of HUMAN traditions, you’re supposed to exchange words of love, and then ask if anyone objects…! (It’s like, SUPER important!!!)”

“... I see… Well, in that case!!” Their wings fluttered in delight. “Yeah!! We need to do the vows first, then!! You go first!!”

“Great!! … Uh…” They looked straight into my soul, eyes sparkling in aoration. (God I hoped Malleus’ dramatic timing came through now more than ever.) “... Uh… When I first laid eyes on you… IIII…” Their wings fluttered again. “IIII… Thought you were very cute, and… Knew I had to save you! It was true love, yeah!!!” All the fairies clapped, and my partner’s face was bright in pride.

“Ah, I love this!! Vows are wonderful!! … Well, I ALSO knew it was true love! You were so cool, and amazing, and… Ah, just even THINKING about how your conquered that beast has me falling in love all OVER again…” The crowded coo’d as the fairy covered his face, suddenly bashful. “... Ah, next we ask if anyone objects, right?!”

“YES.” They turned to the crowd.

“WELL~?! DOES ANYONE OBJECT~?!”

The gate to the Greenhouse slammed open, the air becoming ice cold.

“...” They all trembled in fear at the sight of Malleus, the heels of his dorm uniform the only sound alive in the halls… But I was filled with nothing but relief. He approached, looking down at us with a passive stare that concealed his latent fury, and held his arm out to me.

“... I object.”

“(Oh thank GOD.)” I took his arm, and followed him out. “(I am SO glad to see you, Malleus-)”

“W-WAIT…!” My other arm was snatched. “NO, I CAN’T LET YOU GO!!! STOP HIM!!!” We were cornered on all sides by fairies. He scowled, holding me close, and I could see green lighting run along his staff.

“(MALLEUS!!! YOU CAN’T HURT THEM!!!)” He hesitated. “(The gala’s over, but… If we still piss them off enough, it might turn back into winter…!)”

“... Hmph, so be it.” He smirked. “I would rather face an eternal winter than have you be by another’s side…” I covered my eyes, not wanting to witness the horrendous massacre to unfold…

“... I OBJECT!!!”

“AS DO I!”

“”... Huh??”” He stopped his spell. Lilia and Riddle stood at the gate’s entrance, the former looking all-too-pleased with himself.

“Ooh, that was rather fun to say! (Perhaps I should crash weddings more often!)” Riddle sighed from next to him, manifesting his own staff.

“Vanrouge, in case you haven’t noticed-”

“Oh, I noticed, alright.” His own baton was brought out. “I can enjoy myself while saving them, can’t I?” Malleus seemed almost upset at their intrusion, but I couldn’t be happier.

“Guys…! You’re h-”

“””WE OBJECT!!!””” Rook, Trey, Sebek, and an exhausted Jamil came through next, though, when Rook saw the others, he cried. “Ah, we were late…!!! (... Ah, another day I shall be the first to object…)”

“Haha, Rook… That’s not exactly important, right now…~” Jamil rubbed his eyes, taking out his wand, while Sebek just barreled for Malleus.

“I’M COMING MILORD-GYAH!!!” Unsurprisingly, a bunch of fairies went for him first. “GET OFF ME, YOU PATHETIC PIXIES-” The gate slammed open again, but somehow, with anxiety this time.

“I-I object…!!”

“As do I.” … Okay, this was getting a bit ridiculous now. (I was still grateful, though!). Silver was fine, baton at the ready, but Idia…

“... Bro?? Are you wearing your suit from when you got kidnapped for YOUR wedding?!”

“Ugh, look, if I’m gonna crash a wedding might as well look like a totes OP SSR while doing it…” He snickered. “(Besides, don’t I just look so cool, compared to the rest of these lame normies~? Like some sort of Dark Lord from-)”

“GET THEM!!!”

“UWAH…!!!”

At the fairies cry, all hell broke loose. (I just grabbed Malleus’ arm and dragged him the HELL out of there, even losing a shoe in the process…)

-----------

“... Oh thank GOD that’s done with…”

“Indeed…” Grim looked between us flopped on Malleus’ bed, particularly at my robes and the single shoe tossed onto the cold stone of Diasomnia.

“... So are you guys actually gonna tell me what happened or-”

“”Don’t worry about it.”” He huffed, but decided it was for the best, opting instead to hop onto the bed, and toss himself right onto the center between us, (much to the man’s annoyance.)

“Tch, FINE… (I’m gonna assume you had a good reason to NOT bring me any fruit either!)” Malleus smirked.

“If you desire fruit, there is plenty downstairs, in the Dorm Fridge…~”

“Get me some, then.” Malleus sat up on his elbows, looking at the cat.

“... Pardon?” Grim did a little stretch, getting himself all cozy.

“Go get me some fruit! I’m too tired to make the trip!” His eye twitched. Well, now was the time to intervene.

“Malleus… I kinda want some fruit too, so if you don’t mind…” Immediately (though with great dismay,) he got out of bed.

“Very well… Any particular kind?” Grim smirked.

“Grapes. (Feed them to me, too.)” I lightly bopped his head. “Hey…!”

“Whatever’s fine, Malleus.” Instead of leaving, he wandered to the other side of bed, leaning down expectantly with a pout. I gave his cheek a light kiss, and all his stress melted away with a sweet smile. “(I’ll be sure to reward you later, Prince Charming~)”

Andddd it was back.

“(Ugh, don’t call me such a horrendous name, beloved…)” I gave him another kiss, and though he didn’t smile again, his eyes lit up.

“(Alright, Hornton~ Now don’t keep me waiting at the altar TOO long~)”

Within a burst of fireflies, he disappeared, but I was able to catch the fierce flush on his cheeks, first…

“... You better hope he doesn’t bring us pineapple.”

“Oh my GOD Grim you KNOW he’s not gonna bring pineapple. (Even I hate it!)”

(… Even with the attitude, I still didn’t regret stopping at Ramshackle to get him…)

-----------

“(... Haah…)”

The battle was… A tie, really, but could it be called that? It was past midnight, and though every fairy was mournful… Many began preparations to leave for the long journeys ahead. They held the shoe in their hand, shrunken down to their own size, its embroidery so delicate, even the most skilled spiders would feel envy of it…

[Name]... It overheard some of the humans call them that… Though this End of Gala Celebration was ending on such a sour note, it was a someone sweet one, too.

Next time for sure, they would make them fall in love for sure.

Chapter Text

“Heeeeey~ Grim~” Though I wasn’t called, I still turned back alongside the cat, a frisbee tossed into his paws by Ace. “We need another player for some Spelldrive! You in~?”

“HECK YE-eaaaa…?” He turned to me. Just in time, I managed to force a grin.
e
“Go ahead, I’ll meet you at Ramshackle later!”

“HECK YEAH!!!” He barreled towards Ace, the two high-fiving as they made their way to the field.

“(... Haah…)” That was the seventh time today I got left out of something… I knew it wasn’t intentional, it was just unfortunate. In a school where everything was run by magic, there wasn’t much you could do without it… “(... Whatever…)” I adjusted my bag, heading back towards Ramshackle. I’d just have to find some other way to entertain myself… Yeah! There were always movies, books… I could entertain myself JUST FINE.

-----------

“(... It’s not FAIR…!!!)” I muffled my face in my pillow. Even if I was ‘alone’ at Ramshackle, I didn’t want to risk a well-intentioned ghost coming to my aid. “(Maybe I wanna play fucking Spelldrive for once, but NOOOOO, I’ll just… GET A GODDAMN CONCUSSION AGAIN OR SOMETHING!)” … It felt like something was watching me… I looked up, one of the many tiny grotesques Malleus (somehow) kept finding for me staring down from its perch, almost mockingly.

“... Mind your business.” … Ugh, what was I doing, it was a piece of STONE. “(... Haah.)” I hopped out of bed, drying my tears, and turned it around. “(This is ridiculous… C’mon [Name]...)” With that, I flopped back onto bed, ignoring the sting of my eyes that threatened to overcome them once more. For a moment, I wondered if this was how Malleus felt, upon finding he was never invited to anything…

“*... Bzzt.*” I checked my phone, for once in my life, hoping it was spam I could ignore.

‘Child of Man, why wasn’t I invited to Spelldrive?’ Well, it looks like Sebek let the bat out of the sack.

‘Don’t ask ME, I wasn’t invited either.’ Much to my surprise, it was a while before he actually responded.

‘... They didn’t invite you?’

‘Nope. Just Grim.’ I knew it wasn’t his intention, but my heart began to ache. ‘It’s not like I could even play myself, so I don’t blame them.’

‘... Even still… It feels quite cruel, wouldn’t you agree?’ I couldn’t bring myself to answer back. ‘... I have a proposition for you, [Name].’

‘... And that is…?’ Suddenly, I had the strangest feeling that today would either end up awful, or fantastic.

‘As someone who has lived their whole life around magic, I am quite curious about how those without it live… Would you be interested in teaching me of games you’ve played? From your old world, perhaps?’

‘... You know what?’ I smiled. ‘That actually sounds a lot of fun, yeah!’ The only downside, was most of the games I played were. Well, video games. Not actually anything active… Really, the only active game I remember playing was- ‘... Ehehe~’

‘... Am I going to regret this?’

‘Perhaps.’

‘😔’

‘I need to run to Sam’s and get something, but in the meantime, if you can get a few more people we can make bad life decisions then.’

‘The only contacts I have are of my compatriots, and as we’re aware, ONE of them is BUSY.’

‘That’s fine we can 2v2 this.’

‘I’ll meet you in the indoor gym.’

‘Dress comfortably.’

‘Love you bye bye!’

‘Please slow down [Name], but also, I love you as well.’

'💚'

I’d never changed into gym clothes so fast in my life.

-----------

Lilia, Malleus, and Silver were already in the gym by the time I arrived, giant tote bags in hand.

“Guys!!” (God I hoped I still didn’t look awful from all the crying earlier.) “You made it!!”

“Hmph, of course, [Name].” Malleus beamed in pride. “We had plans, did we not?” Lilia chuckled at him, while Silver quietly snoozed. “Now, what is this ‘game’ you shall be teaching us, today?”

“The game?” I placed the bags down, and took out one of the red, rubber balls, passing it to him. He quirked his brow, inspecting it. “Why, the scorn of non-athletic, schoolchildren everywhere… DODGEBALL.”

“... Dodgeball.” He passed the ball to Lilia, who gave it a good bounce. “I see. So, pray tell, do we simply ‘dodge’ this ‘ball-!!!’” Silver snapped awake, blocking the ball that was seconds away from hitting Malleus. “... [NAME]???”

“You’re right on one part Malleus, the goal IS to dodge the ball, or you’ll be ‘Out,’ and’ll have to sit at the wall until the next match…” I grabbed the last two balls out, passing one of them over. “HOWEVER… They’ll be tossed by the members of the other team, in a brutal free-for-all~!!”

Lilia immediately turned to Malleus with a sinister grin.

“Oh, I QUITE like the sound of THIS game, don’t you, Malleus~?” Even Silver shuddered, and HE wasn’t even the (current) victim here.

“No, not in the slightest. In fact, I think we should choose another-”

“Too late!!” I placed my ball at the halfway point of the gym, right on the line. “Now, who’s on what team! I think it’d be fair to have one human, and one fae per team, to balance things out.” Malleus pursed his lip, thinking hard about this decision… Me? Or Silver…

Luckily for him, I was about to make this decision easy for him.

“Hey, Lilia~!!”

“Wha-”

“Yes, [Name]?”

“Would you be my teammate for dodgeball~?”

“NOW WAIT JUST A MOMENT HERE-”

“Why, of COURSE, dear child! In fact, I would be HONORED!”

“[NAME]?!?!” As I walked past Malleus, I leaned close. (Though, I had to gesture him to bend down, as well.)

“(I’m gonna DESTROY you, Mal Mal.)” With that, I gave him a kiss on the cheek, and quickly joined Lilia’s side.

“... Ah…” He held a hand to his cheek, face completely crimson. “(... Well, I suppose if ANYONE is to-)”

“Milord.”

“(Oh…!)” Silver gave a solemn nod. “... Very well! Silver, do all you can to ensure Vanrouge is obliterated, am I understood?!”

“Yes, milord!”

With that, the game was set to begin…

-----------

“TEAM STRIKE, ARE YOU READY?!”

””YES!”” Malleus and Silver looked determined… I took a deep breath, glancing at Lilia. Even with him on my side, I was at a severe disadvantage… (I mean, Silver’s arms alone…)

“TEAM BATS, ARE WE READY?!”

“VERY MUCH SO!” I would just have to do my best and pray.

“THEN THE MATCH WILL START IN THREE…TWO…” Inhuman irises sharpened into focus, trained directly on the crimson balls in the center. “ONE!!!”

Lilia vanished in nothing more than a blur, snatching the very ball Malleus was seconds away from reaching for.

“!” He barely dodged the blow. Lilia fell back, though he hardly seemed fazed in the slightest, already scouting for his next throw..

“(Oh, this really SHALL be a delightful game…~)” … That’s right, I couldn’t fall behind! I looked up, finding Silver, whose aim was directly trained on Lilia.

“NOT ON MY WATCH!!!” I grabbed the closet ball, chucking it with all my might at Silver.

“Huh…?!” He stepped to the side, dodging it-

“THINK FAST!!!”

“ACK-!!!” Only for Lilia to take him out instead, knocking him to the ground. “L-Lord Malleus…!”

“SILVER!!!” Malleus fell to his side, while Lilia and I high-fived.

“GO TEAM!!!” The prince scowled, grabbing the very same ball used to annihilate his comrade.

“You pathetic miscreant…! I SHALL NOT LET YOU GET AWAY WITH TH-MMPH!!!”

Lilia clocked him mid-monologue, knocking him right down with Silver.

-----------

“SILVER, CAUTION!!!”

“GOT IT, MILORD!!!” He dodged the strike, chasing after and snatching up the ball. “LILIA, SIR?!”

“... Tch…!” Yes, Lilia was the true threat, but it was still a party of two… “... No, choose who you think is right, Silver…”

“... Are you sure-”

“JUST… Do it, before I take it back…!” With no hesitation, Silver lined his aim directly at [Name].

“HYAH!!!”

“Huh…?!” The ball was like lightning itself. Lilia turned back, and Malleus smirked, ready to take the elder out.

“[NAME]!!!” They panicked, bringing their hands up to block the blow, and were knocked to the ground… “... OH MY GOD!!!”

“““... Huh?””” From the ground, they held the ball high, caught perfectly in their hands.

“I CAUGHT IT, I CAUGHT IT!!!”

“HAH!!!” Silver, a broken shell of a retainer, went back to the wall of shame. His pride never to be the same… Malleus watched [Name] in horror, as they stood up, eager to continue.

“(... How in The Sevens’ name did they)-ACK!!!”

Both Lilia AND [Name] went for his stomach.

-----------

“MILORD-ACK!!!”

---

“SILV-UGH…!”

---

“M-my leg…!”

“Guh…!” They fell to their knees, utterly exhausted. He knew Vanrouge would be a challenge, but it was as if sheer force of will (and slightly bad sportsmanship) alone was fueling [Name]’s endurance…! The worst part, is even NOW he couldn’t bring himself to strike them down, relying on poor Silver to try and deal the finishing blow…

“Well now, you two…” Lilia and [Name] walked up to the pitiful Strikes, though, the latter was clearly beginning to feel a bit bad… Not Lilia, though. “Truly, I expected more of a fight~ Color me surprised~!”

“... I’m…” Malleus crawled to his feet, ignoring the exhaustion of it. “I’m not DONE, Lilia… I SHALL strike you down at least ONCE!” Silver looked up at the prince, eyes shining in admiration.

“L-Lord Malleus…!” Malleus offered his hand, and his retainer took it, his drive numbing the pain.

“Young Silver… Let us put our all into this last match, and no matter what may happen, just remember… I shall forever be proud of your accomplishments today.” Silver smiled.

“Then I shall ensure I will GIVE you one to be proud of.”

“... Aww~ How sweet~! In that case, we shall ensure a proud match, as well!” Lilia and [Name] walked back to their side, the fae leaning close to them. “(Go for Malleus’ kneecaps, he looks like he can hardly even STAND.)”

“I CAN HEAR YOU, LILIA.”

“(Ignore him, just take him out of his misery, [Name].)”

“(Lilia…)”

Oh, Malleus was going to make Vanrouge regret those words… They set the balls at the line again, and despite his muscles, sore from constantly evading Lilia’s attacks, he kept his eyes on the ball…

“LAST ROUND IN THREE… TWO…” Lilia smirked “... ONE!!!”

He lunged for the ball, snatching it a moment faster than Vanrouge, and threw it with expert precision.

“HA!” Yet the fae dodged. “YOU’RE GETTING SLOPPY, MALLEUS~!”

“Tch…!!!” Though, he wasn’t the only one. [Name] barely dodged Silver’s next attack, heaving for breath as they scrambled away from his sight, in search for a ball. The retainer pitched his arm back…

“HYAH!!!” And the ball slammed HARD against the wall, mere inches away from their face.

“(Eep…!)” They snatched it, making a break for Lilia, knowing at this point, they could hardly even throw a stone.

“YEET!!!” Malleus snapped back into reality, dodging Lilia’s attack, and grabbed the ball once it hit the ground. “Hmph, struggling to even take down an old man like me… How pathetic~”

“(... Why you…!)”

“What are you going to do with that ball? Are you going to hit me? Better make it count. You better kill me in one shot, Malleus.” He took a deep breath, closing his eyes… Losing his temper was EXACTLY what Lilia wanted… If he put his all into this strike now, he’d surely crash afterwards, and the other fae would never let him live it down…

“... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Thunder crackled outside, rain harsh against the windows of the gym. Lilia laughed, though hearing the draconic growl echo through the gym, and the other players beginning to sweat (but not from exercise,) he realized that hm.

Perhaps he went a bit too far.

It was too late, however… The dragon had chosen violence.

“MAY THIS FINAL STRIKE BE YOUR LAST, LILIA…!!!” Thunder flashed as the ball flew from his hand, and it was instinct alone that saved Lilia, the man backflipping high out of danger.

“*BONK!*” Instead, poor [Name], who’d be right behind him, moments away from passing him a ball was struck instead. Their poor body ragdolled from the ball’s impact, landing with a thud upon the polished wood.

“”” . . .”””

The storm calmed to a heavy, yet calm shower as the three just stared at [Name]’s lifeless body.

“(... Ugh…)” Somehow, by some divine miracle of The Seven, they sat on their elbows, a bright, red imprint on their face. “That… Was… AWESOME!!!” They all relaxed, seeing that they were. Well. At least conscious. Malleus’ face flushed at their praise, eyes twinkling in pride.

“‘Awesome?’ Hmph, do you truly think so? … Wait…” Lilia sighed. “... IT IS NOT ‘AWESOME!!!’ I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU, [NAME]!!!” NOW he ran to their side, Lilia watching the scene in amusement as Silver joined his side.

“Father… Shouldn’t we take them to the Infirmary…?”

“Oh, ABSOLUTELY.” Malleus looked moments awake from breaking into tears, inspecting their face. “However, I doubt we’d be able to get close to them for at least five minutes, so just let him fret for a bit.”

“... Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Now, how about you be a dear and get a bed ready for them?”

“As you wish, father.”

Well, severe head-trauma they would most likely have asides, at least the afternoon itself was quite fun!

-----------

It was the final shot… If Ace could make it, their team would win this match right from the grasp of death!

“NYAH!!!” He dodged Grim’s blast of magic, (piece of cake~!) and dashed towards the goal, where Sebek weakly guarded… (Was he still feeling bad about Malleus?! … Oh well, just made things easier for him~)

“Heh… Check THIS out~!!” He wound up his throwing arm, ready to flaunt the trick shot he’d been perfecting for WEEKS… But something wet fell onto him. “... Huh?” He froze, touching his face. “... Is that… Rain…?”

And within a flash, the sky turned pitch-black, countless showers crushing the field of students, and thunder drowning out their screams.

Chapter Text

“... Mm…”

Even though I had every right to sleep in, I woke up anyway, finding it was about the time I’d generally wake up for classes. I rolled onto my back, finding Grim fast asleep on the edge of the bed, and debated if I wanted to get up and risk waking him…

“*... Bzzt.*” It took a few attempts for my sleep-lagged mind, but I managed to find my phone, not even bothering to unplug the charger before burning my eyes with it’s screen.

“Dearest [Name],” I couldn’t help a quiet laugh, seeing the text written like a formal letter. “I shall be absent from classes on the 12th, until the 19th.” At that, I winced, knowing exactly where this was going… “I also desire to meet with you today, ‘A.S.A.P,’ as you humans say. Please respond back once you awake, so we may plan accordingly…

Yours Truly, Malleus Draconia.”

I dropped my phone onto the bed, and just sighed…

His heat would be approaching… Really, that was inconvenient, yes, but (despite how intense it could get,) I genuinely enjoyed them!

It was… The other parts, that could be a bit much, sometimes…

-----------

“...” They’d read the message, but had yet to respond… He frowned, glaring at his final sentence, before tossing his phone to the side. “(... Tch, ‘Yours Truly’... Of COURSE that was too much!! … Ugh… They MUST have felt as if I were coming on too strong-”

“*Bz-*” He immediately snatched his phone back, heart pounding fiercely as he read each and every word of their response.

‘... Malleus.’ Ah… It wasn’t their voice, but even so, his heart soared, knowing it was written with their own fingertips… ‘... If I come and meet you. You aren’t going to give me a bunch of presents, are you?’

“... Ah…” He gulped, eyeing the large pile of presents he’d personally picked and wrapped the days prior. ‘... Why do you ask…?’

‘MALLEUS!! I TOLD YOU, YOU DON’T ALWAYS HAVE TO GET ME STUFF BEFORE YOUR HEAT HITS!!’

‘😔’

‘DON’T YOU 😔 ME.’

‘😔’

‘... Malleus, look.’ He was honestly tempted to send another of those ‘emojis’ instead. ‘You don’t have to try and court me every single time your heat approaches. Chances are, I’m 99.9% of the time just going to say yes.’

‘... And the .1% you do not?’

‘It doesn’t matter. Look just… Ask me, alright? Go ahead, just type out ‘will you help with my heat.’ He balked, looking away from his phone from their sheer boldness. ‘... Malleus?’

“I… In The Seven’s Name, [Name], how could you POSSIBLY expect me to type something so obscene?!’

‘...?’ … That’s right. They were but human, it was an understandable mistake to make, yet…
‘... Please, [Name]... Would you do me the honors of joining me for tea in oh, ten or so? Ramshackle, preferably?’

‘... You still want to bring me gifts, don’t you.’

‘🥺’

‘... You can bring ONE. (I don’t have the space for anything else after everything you got me last time….)’

‘I love you, dearest.’

‘I love you too, Mal Mal…’ His grin was so wide, it was… A bit painful, admittedly, yet he couldn’t be damned to care!

… Now he had to pick what gift he should bring… (Suddenly, he was beginning to doubt that ten minutes would be enough time…)

-----------

Unsurprisingly, it was more than ten minutes when he’d finally arrived, looking frazzled as all hell, but trying his best to hide it.

“... House Leader duties?” We both knew it wasn’t, but he smiled, grateful for the excuse.

“Y-yes, I do hope you’ll forgive me, [Name]...” He took a seat at the dining room table, gracefully placing a tiny present onto the table. He frowned a moment, quickly fixing it perfectly straight. “... One present, as you said.”

“Just one.”

“Indeed.”

“You don’t have a second, secret one hidden in your coat pocket or anything.”

He waited just a moment too long to answer.

“... Alright, go ahead and put it with the other…” With the same grace, the second box was laid among the table, a small, thin present. With that, he waited patiently, lips pulled taught, with his hands firmly held together. “... Malleus, you can relax, you know.”

“I cannot.” I gave him a smooch on the forehead. With that, he relaxed just a bit, his shoulders losing the slightest bit of tension. “(... Please, I beg of you… Just make it swift.)”

“Alright, alright, I will…” I took the seat across from him, grabbing the first box. Immediately, his back straightened up, and his eyes focused intensely on my hands as I peeled away the chartreuse paper… It was surprisingly heavy for its size, and when I pulled it out, I found out exactly why.

“... Okay, I’m not even gonna lie.” I held the comically tiny grotesque up to the light, examining its surprisingly soft features. “This SLAPS, Mal Mal!!” He exhaled, managing a weak smile.

“It brings me great joy to hear you say that, child of man… (I will admit, I was quite worried…)”

“How could you be? It’s so cute, and it matches the little one you got on your desk! It’s impossible for me NOT to love it!! In fact…” I left my seat, the man quickly following after. “I love it SO much, I think it deserves to go RIGHT on top of the fridge! (Where everyone can see it!)”

“... Truly?” Once we stopped before it, I held out the statue to him.

“Would you do the honors? (I’m too short to.)” Carefully, he took the child into his hands, and placed it perfectly on the upper-right corner, close enough to see, while far enough not to fall if the door was opened too swiftly. We both stood back, admiring the kitchen’s newfound guardian with pride…

“... Ah, your second gift…!” He snatched it off the table, passing it over to me. Knowing at least one gift was a success had done wonders for his mood. “I hope you’ll accept this offering from me as well, [Name]!”

“Ah, thank you…”

I didn’t need to open the box to know it was another piece of jewelry. (I could only hope it wasn’t as expensive as the last…)

-----------

“... [Name].” I looked up from my textbook, finding him looking between two, thick quilts. The spare bed we’d picked for the occasion was already loaded with countless pillows and blankets he’d brought over from Diasomnia, yet the ones he held now were from Ramshackle “Which quilt would you prefer for our nest?”

“Whatever quilt you want.” He pouted.

“I asked you, dearest.”

“And I said I’m fine with whatever.” He came over, holding the two quilts out to me.

“Choose.”

“... Alright.” I took the corners in each hand, feeling the different textures. “... The left one.”

“The left one it shall be, then!” It was placed onto the bed with care, and the other was abandoned to the closet. I returned to my book, knowing that even if my next exam would be delayed, I wouldn’t have much time to study for it beforehand. “... [Name], pardon my… Obscene request, but-”

“Yes, you can take some of my clothes for the nest.” He zoomed out of the room, returning a moment later with a giant pile of my uniforms, tossing them onto the bed. “If you tear any you’re paying for them, though.”

“Of course!” He said it so eagerly, I couldn’t help but smile. “... Ah, and before I forget-”

Yeah, I should just accept I wasn’t gonna get any studying done right now.

-----------

“...”

There was an entire auditorium of people here… Yet even from the front, I could feel his gaze directly on me from the far back. (It was making it difficult to pay attention to the Anti-Bullying PSA we were all trapped here for… Though, it was just difficult to watch on it’s own… (Grim was fast asleep with the other First Years…))

“(... Haah…)” I looked around, before pulling out my bag, finding my phone and opening his contact, making sure the screen was darkened as far as it could be. ‘Mal Mal, pay attention to the play! You’re the House Leader, for God’s sake!’

The moment it was sent, he began typing back.

‘I miss you.’ I glanced back, his eyes lightning up once they found mine. I smiled, gave a quick wave, and turned back around. I could still feel him watching me, but it was considerably less tense. The Headmaster walked back onto the stage, the Film Club actors freezing mid-scene.

“Oh no! Poor Michael’s in trouble! Now, can any Night Ravens tell me what the passerbys should do?” … Dead silence. My phone went off again, it’s rumble seeming to echo in the auditorium, and I scrambled to stop it. “... Thhhhhat’s RIGHT! They should inform a nearby authority figure, such as an instructor, or another adult in the area~! Wonderful job, everyone!!” He walked off-stage, the actors continuing the scene. I checked my phone again, another text from Malleus.

‘May we leave, dearest?’ I balked.

‘Malleus, we’re in the middle of the auditorium! I’m at the FRONT! How’re we supposed to sneak out without getting caught?!’ Much to my surprise, it took a bit before he responded back.

‘May we PLEASE leave, dearest?’ I glanced back around. I could still see his eyes, but I couldn’t make out much else with how dark it was… I got another message from him, checking it.

‘This is Lilia. Please take Malleus out of tsokmdssdsamdmfakf’

‘IGNORE LILIA.’ Instead of responding back to him, I just texted Lilia.

‘Is it an emergency?’

“It is an emergency, yes.’ Immediately, Malleus texted back.

‘[NAME]... 😂’

‘Malleus, that’s a laughing emoji, not a crying one.’

‘I DON’T CARE, HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?!?!’

‘YOU WEREN’T ACTUALLY TELLING ME ANYTHING!!!’

‘BECAUSE IT IS HUMILIATING!!! Oh, PRAY tell, am I supposed to just INFORM you everytime I bang my head against a doorframe, as well?!’

‘Malleus, I love you, and I WANT to help you, but also if you don’t stop texting me I’m gonna get caught before I can ACTUALLY get out of here to.’

‘... Very well, but we SHALL be continuing this discussion LATER.’ Finally, my phone was silent… With a sigh, I put Grim onto Jack’s lap, and crawled onto the ground, out of sight of the actors and professors, but full sight of the front row, trying my best to ignore the stares as I crawled towards the closest exit…

-----------

“(... Haah…)”

“... So why’d we sneak out-”

“GYAH!!!” I didn’t even REALIZE Floyd was behind me. “BRO WHAT THE FUCK?!?!”

“Whaaaaat~? If YOU’RE ditching, of all people, then that means that show BLOWS.”

“Isn’t AZUL one of the actors?!”

“Yeah but he already had his part, so I was bored as hell.” Oh god this was bad. “So anyway, what’re we doin’? The Lounge is closed so we could sneak in a snack or two…~”

“... Yeah~ We can, actually~!” I shoved him towards the Hall of Mirrors. “I’m gonna hit the restroom first, but I’ll meet you there, alright~?”

“... I mean, we GOT a restroom at The Lounge-”

“I’LL MEET YOU THERE.”

“GEEZ, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!!” He waved me off. “If you wanted to get rid of me so bad you coulda just SAID SO. (You owe me, though!)”

“Sure, sure, whatever, now bye Floyd!!!”

“Byeeeee.” He sulked away, and just as he was gone from sight, Malleus appeared, completely caked in sweat. (Even his make-up was beginning to smudge…)

“[Name]...”

“Oh my god MALLEUS…!” I grabbed his hand, and began dragging him to Ramshackle. “Why the hell did you even come to the skit if you’re like this?!”

“I…” His ears lowered. “... Was invited, for once…”

“... Ah…” I couldn’t bring myself to lecture him after that…

-----------

“(... Are you awake, beloved?)”

“(... Mm…)” I rolled over, my entire body sore. “(Did you ever go to sleep…?)” He looked wide awake, but looked well enough. Unlike normal, where he felt freezing even beneath the sheets, there was a thick warmth emanating from him.

This time, he didn’t say anything. He simply pulled me close, and nuzzled against me with a content smile.

“(... You didn’t HAVE to wake me up for that, you know~)”

“(I am aware… I just desired to hear your voice.)” Was it kinda inconvenient? … Yeah, especially since I needed all the rest I could get before tomorrow, but…

“(... Hmph, silly…)” I gave his forehead a smooch, his quiet purrs filling the room.

He was cute, so it was okay.

Chapter Text

Good evening everyone!! Not a chapter, I just wanted to stop by and say some News™️... Specifically, THIS kinda News™️...

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((...I'm SO SORRY if the file ended up being giant ksmksms.)

ANYWAYS!! This time there's more than eleven chapters (LMAO) and. I think for the most part all the stats like. Doubled, which is insane. So!! I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you very, very much!! Whether you gave Kudos, Bookmarked, left a comment (I may not respond to them often, but I do read all of them and they fuel my soul LMAO,) or simply just read, it means a lot that you chose My Fic✨ of all fics to read!! (Especially since I write a lot of comedy KMKSMKSMSK.)

Now I'm gonna take a break because I still have to make a note for the Leona fic LMAO. (My work with these boys is never done... u_u) So with that!! Thank you again for reading, and I hope you have a nice day/night!!✨ 

Chapter Text

“Ah, good afternoon, Draconia! How are you today.” His eye twitched, and he forced a smile.

“I am quite well, youngest Shroud…”

“Wonderful!” His eyes gleamed, and then he went back to staring… Straight into the distance from his seat in the sole lounge’s armchair. (Truly, no one could know what went through his mind.)

“... Well, I suppose there is ONE thing that plagues my very soul…” At that, he turned back to the fae.

“Oh? Is there anything I can help you with, Draconia?”

“Oh, I shouldn’t IMPOSE…” Ortho continued to stare. (Really, it was a bit unnerving…) “... But if you INSIST…” The fae smiled, and took a step closer to the seat. “It seems SOMEONE has taken MY precious seat… So if only they were to move…”

“... Ah, I see…” Ortho hopped further into the couch, practically sinking into it. “That is quite the predicament, Draconia. I suppose you shall just have to find another seat.”

“... Oh? But did you not so graciously offer your assistance?” The young boy’s eyes gleamed with mischief, and he even placed his feet onto the leather cushions, tucking his chin onto his knees.

“I would, if I would have been able to assist with such circumstances. However, in a case such as this… ‘You snooze, you lose,’ as they say!”

“‘You snooze, you lose,’ you say? … Hmph~” Using magic indoors of Ramshackle would be improper, so for the occasion, he supposed brute force would do… “Well in that case, I shall simply have to punish you for such blatant hubris, Shroud!”

“Oh?” The child didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. “I should refrain from such tumultuous activities if unnecessary, however, I cannot deny the appeal of seeing how my combatic capabilities would compare to a magic of your caliber, Draconia! I am quite surprised, however. Would it not be in your best interests to ‘take this outside?’ After all, either of us were to damage Ramshackle property-”

“Oh, there shall be no damage done!” He cracked his knuckles. “It shall be a miracle if you are even able to survive for a moment, Shroud!”

“Heheh! In that case, I shall be sure not to hold back!” With that, Ortho hopped off his seat. A crosshair appeared within his eyes, while Malleus’ sharpened from malice. “Activating Combat Mode, Target: Malleus Draconia. Magical Discharge set to Stun.”

Only stun? Oh, how this poor child underestimated him…

-----------

“Lock-On… FIRE!!!”

“(Tch…!)” A barrage of missiles fired from the sky, and he dodged each and everyone, yet they never relented, more and more firing out, smoke trailing behind and gathering thick within the walls of the Guest Room. Had it been any other combatants, the amount would surely have been hazardous…

“Lock-on…”

“HYAH!” He snatched a book from a nearby shelf, chucking it directly at Ortho’s face.

“Gwah…!” The Shroud staggered back, just enough time for Malleus to duck into the smog. “... Searching for Target… Searching for Target…” He kept moving, making sure to stay JUST out of his sight… But he couldn’t lie…

… This was HORRIBLY wounding his pride… (It wasn’t that he COULDN’T defeat Shroud, oh no, that would’ve been easy… But the child was so swift that the best method would be to destroy a large area at once, and Ramshackle was already on it’s last legs again…!)

“... Target Locked-On. Changing settings to Kill.” .”

“WAIT!!!” … Anything further, and even his own magic wouldn’t be enough to restore things! “SHROUD, STAND DOWN, I YIELD!!!”

“Command Acknowledged and Ignored. Magical Beam Charge, 50%” He aimed his arm at Malleus, not a shred of remorse in his gaze as fluorescent-blue energy glowed bright, blinding.

“BY THE SEVEN SHROUD, STOP!!!”

“Command Acknowledged…” The magic died down. Malleus relaxed, a sigh of relief escaping. “... No.”

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!”

“MAGICAL BEAM CHARGE 100% FIRE!!!” His eyes burned from the light. He ran to the side, yet still felt the sheer heat of the youngest Shroud’s beam threatening to scald his skin. “... Target has survived. Recharging beam in… In…” It was only now, that the youngest Shroud ceased his fire, slowly floating to the ground. He walked towards where the blast had hit, looking silently at the pile of dust that remained.

“Oh, so NOW YOU STOP?!?!” Malleus rose to his feet, wincing as his vision that now seemed all-too-dark, even as the sunlight poured in brightly from the new whole in the wall.

“... Draconia…” Ortho fell onto his knees, picking up a pile of dust from the ground. Though huffy Malleus kneeled besides him.

“... Well, it seems to be the remains of a shelf. We shall simply build a new one-”

“This…” For the first time tonight, there was… Fear, in the child’s eyes… “... Was this not [Name]’s prized anime figure shelf…?”

“...”

“...”

“”... GYAH!!! (GWAH!!!)”” They grabbed as much dust as they could, looking for anything, a SHRED of ANYTHING they could use for Malleus to fix, but it was all nothing but ash…

“Brother… Brother is going to DISMANTLE me for destroying something so sacred…!”

“What about ME?!?! … Ugh, it would be a miracle if [Name] even LOOKED at me after this…!” They found something. Well. It was basically nothing. Half of a small, PVC head, melted beyond recognition… But Ortho’s eyes whirled.

“... Scanning… Searching database…” Malleus awaited with baited breath, afraid to even hope… “... Match Found. My Little Cubby Bishojou Figure Limited Edition Scarlet Claw.”

“Ah…! Quick, Shroud, can you somehow identify the rest?!?!” Malleus tore through everything, finding more, miraculously unmelted parts. “HURRY SHROUD, QUICK!!!” Malleus held up a single, plastic arm, Ortho’s eyes whirling back to focus.

“Scanning… Searching Database…”

“...”

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[Target #1: My Little Cubby Bishojou Figure Limited Edition Scarlet Claw]
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“Ah, it seems this figure is out of stock at most major retailers…” Malleus squinted at the computer screen in agony, unable to comprehend how people could do this for hours.... (It was still leagues more tolerable than the dorm’s giant screens and endless noise, at the very least…) “However, it seems that there is someone on Campus selling theirs at the NRC Weeb Swap in just a few hours…!”

“... The what.” Ortho pulled up the group’s FaceTome page. (This meant nothing to Malleus.)

“The NRC Weeb Swap is a monthly event held in secret by the NRC Anime Club (an Unofficial School Club) where participants may swap their merchandise of various media, whether it be official, or fanmade. In recent years, some have even brought their own creations to exchange with others!” As he spoke, Ortho began printing out pictures of their targets from Lilia’s computer (he didn’t need to know they borrowed it,) to the printer he brought from Ignihyde, and passed them to Malleus. “If luck is on our side, we may be able to find more of their former collection there! Let us go, Draconia!”

“... Wait…” Ortho turned back. “... If this ‘Weeb Swap’ is popular with these so-called ‘Anime fans…’ Then is it not possible that Shroud or [Name] shall be there?”

“They shall, I know they will. (Brother told me he would actually be attending with them in cosplay,) but we do not have much other choice… It is either attending, or facing the consequences of our actions…”

“I see…” Truly, there was no other way-

“... Malleus?” They both froze, finding Lilia at the doorway. “... Milord, in all due respect, if you were using MY gaming PC to print out pictures of gargoyles AGAIN-”

“RUN!!!”

Really, both boys jumped out the window instead, knowing their chances with the thorns below were better than with Vanrouge.

-----------

“... I must say, the outfits some of these students are wearing are… Unique.” Elaborate hairstyles that seemed almost tedious, giant props that were surely unwieldy… The Ignihyde hoodie Ortho had lent him for a disguise made him look tame in comparison, (even with how his horns awkwardly fit beneath.)

“Do not get distracted, Draconia! We are on an important Side Quest, right now!!!” Ortho’s own hoodie was massive, even hanging over his hands. (Had it not been for his legs and feet, you’d hardly know he wasn’t of flesh.)

“Right, right, my apologies.” The entire hallway was lined with Swap Attendees, many of which disappeared into the classrooms, where he could see booths line the sides. “So, where should we even begin to look…?”

“The pamphlet from their FaceTome page stated that our seller should be in Vendor Room #5!” As he said this, he pointed to the cheap, laminated signs slapped onto the doors, all labeled with a number. “Now, Draconia. While I understand this is your first meeting, and we are desperate, DO NOT LET THEM KNOW THIS. There are many who would take advantage of it, and charge us an unfair price for the product. Am I understood?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Are you sure?”

“YES.”

“... Very well.” They arrived at Room #5. “However, I believe to be on the safe side, I should handle negotiations.”

“Oh, don’t treat me like a child! I can assure you, I’ve handled FAR more negotiations in my time than you’ve been alive!”

“... Fine, then you may handle THIS deal.” Malleus smirked, and they finally entered the classroom. He glanced down onto the stack of papers in his hand, examining the details of their first target…

‘Details-

Product Name: My Little Cubby Bishojou Figure Limited Edition Scarlet Claw

Retail Price: 12000 Madol

Resale Price: Est. 70000-13000

Reviews:

“#Girlboss”

“I love her, but for the quality, I expected a bit more. Still worth it if you love the character!”

“Took me forever to get her into the base and I got a papercut from the instructions but I mean if it was for Scarlet Claw then I guess I HAVE to die now 😔✌️”

Overall Rating: 6/10’

Once he glanced back into the crowd, it didn’t take long to find their booth. Right smack in the center, he caught sight of the colorful illustration that ran alongside the figure’s box. As the two approached, Ortho glanced nervously to him, yet Malleus simply smiled.

“Good evening. I see you are in possession of quite a fascinating specimen.”

“Huh?” The seller looked up from their mobile game. “Oh, yeah!! I got tons of stuff! What caught your eye?” Really, he could say quite a lot… Though they were no GROTESQUES, the accessibility of art so common nowadays in human culture was fascinating… But of course, they were men on a mission.

“This one here, Scarlet Claw… And it seems to be the special edition as well, I see!” The shopkeep instantly beamed, carefully pulling the box out from the pile it was from.

“Yeah, it is!! I used to watch the show with with my ex!!” Ortho was growing antsy, yet Malleus ignored him.

“Your ex? Oh, I DO hope such circumstances weren’t tragic… Love can be quite the trecherous battlefield, you know!”

“He was a piece of-(whoops no swearing haha!) … Anyway, he was a piece of trash, BUT! I DID get his Kovette AND the Claw you’re looking at in the break-up so! It wasn’t too bad~!”

“Facinating~! … Ah, and yet you’re selling Claw despite that?”

“...Weeell~” They laughed. “Kovette best girl, and I’m running out of space on my shelf so!! How much are you thinking?” Ortho nudged Malleus’ sleeve, yet he didn’t spare a look. The Shroud had challenged his pride not just once, but TWICE, after all.

“As my research shows, this product’s quality has a history of being on the lower end for it’s price range. Because of this, even as it is the Limited Version, I do not see the need to pay retail, or higher… However, as I can see the box itself is in fine condition, albeit with a dent in the corner, and is unsealed… I do believe 92000 would be fair? Either way, you shall be making a profit, no?”

“True… Hm…” They glanced back at the figure, into it’s neon-green eyes. “However, even if I WILL be making a profit either way, I could probably make more from another customer who actually WATCHES the show.” Ortho tugged on his sleeve again, almost tearing it off in the process.

“Ah, is my lack of knowledge truly that obvious~?”

“No, I just have the vibe from you.”

“Quite interesting… Well, I admit! I know very little of shows such as these. I am simply pursuing wares for a dear friend… So, how about we change our negotiation, a tad?” He pointed off to the side, a pile of figures with bright-red price tags. “These ones here… They are rather low-priced, yet people seem reluctant to buy them! I suppose they are bad product?”

They said nothing. They didn’t have to. The regret was clear on their face.

“I see… In that case, a proposal. Alongside Scarlet Claw, I shall take one of these figures at a discounted rate, since I AM doing you a favor, in the process… To mark them so low, surely at this point, you’re trying to recoup SOME dignity, yes?”

“... Yeah! You got me there! (... Haha…)” Malleus smirked with a chuckle of his own. “... Alright! I’ll do Scarlet Claw for 92, and…” Malleus sifted through the pile of discounted goods, before pulling out his choice, placing it before the shopkeep. “... An action figure of Dralucard from Castlemania! (BEFORE it went mainstream.)”

“Were all the figures as cheaply made as this one seems to be?” The shopkeep CACKLED at that, as they placed the figures into a large, reusable tote (made exclusively for the event for all sellers! (Complete with a Ravenboy mascot!))

“Oh, you have NO idea… Anyway! That’ll be 92000!”

“... Oh?” They smiled, passing Malleus the bag, while Ortho bluescreened.

“Yeah, I haven’t had a talk this nice in a while, so don’t worry about it!”

“... Well, I’m not about to decline such generosity… Unless there is a catch?”

“No catch! … Well, unless…” The student smirked, holding up their Magic Pen, a bright-green gemstone at the top. “(If you can convince Vice Houseleader Vanrouge to let us hold a DDR tournament in the dorm next Saturday, House Leader…~”

“Hmph, then I shall inquire, at the very least.”

“(Yes…!!!)” With a nod, Malleus took his leave, Ortho following behind. Though, he didn’t say a word until they were out of earshot, back into the hall.

“(... DRACONIA! YOU DIRTY CHEATER!)”

“Oh?”

“(DO NOT ‘OH?’ ME!!!)” Ortho fumed, yet the House Leader smirked. “(YOU KNEW THAT WAS ONE OF YOUR STUDENTS, DIDN’T YOU?)”

“(Not initially.)” Malleus peeked into the tote, finding his spoils safely within. “(And once I did, that still meant nothing. After all, this is not a matter of House, but of Man. If I were to pull out my authority as House Leader, it would simply result in mockery.)”

“... Ah…” He pulled out the papers, flipping to their next target.

“(As I told you Shroud, though I may be ignorant to the arts of figurines, I am well-versed in the art of negotiations… However, since I am kind, I shall give you the gift of our next prey… So do not disappoint me, hm~?)” He huffed, flames slowly cooling back to a cool blue, and floated towards the next room.

“Very well! I shall show you the work of a TRUE otaku!!! (... Or at least one’s brother!!!)”

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[Target #2: Bendoroid Jenshin Impact Nenti]
---

‘Details-

Product Name: Bendoroid Jenshin Impact Nenti

Retail Price: 6000 Madol

Resale Price: Est. 10000-15000

Reviews:

“He came into my home, drank all my rose wine, and then put a fork in my microwave. I don’t have a home anymore, but I least I still have jams… ;’) ”

“Another good figure from the Bendoroid series. Caution however, as his banjo is VERY small and fragile. I have a friend who accidentally snapped it trying to set it on his figure. Asides from that, worth the wait.”

“plea se help he wont stop fortnight dancign im in shmabeles”

Overall Rating: 9/10’

“...” Ortho’s hands trembled as he gazed upon the page. (Really, he didn’t need to, but once he looked at his memory… The denial kicked in HARD.) Malleus peered over his shoulder, and snickered.

“Well, it seems you have quite some work ahead of you, Shroud! … Unless you don’t think-”

“I CAN DO IT!!!”

“Alright~! I am just making sure~! … Oh, but JUST to be on the safe side, I shall merely watch from a distance.” Malleus found a cozy corner for himself, and leaned back with a smile.

“(... Hmph! I will show HIM…)” With that, Ortho took a metaphorical breath, and approached the booth. At the mere sight of him, the shopkeep sat straight, glaring deep into his soul…

“Well look here… If it isn’t House Warden Shroud’s little brother~! … (You have a LOT of nerve coming to MY STALL, punk.)”

“Wh-but I have not even said anything yet…!”

“You didn't! But HE did…” He scowled, gritting his teeth. “Saying that the Thunder Shogun’s a waste of character potential who’s only redeeming factor is being a generically attractive PNG… Even saying that her place in the meta is overhyped only because ‘cringe losers’ like me refuse to acknowledge the superiority of Toddlyre because he’s a guy’ like who even GIVES a damn about that!!!”

“Were you not the one who was apprehended hacking the dorm’s Jenshin Biscord server to ban anyone who typed Toddlyre-” He stopped. If he continued that sentence, he would surely never get that figure. “... I digress. Anyway, I am simply here to pursue your wares. Unless you have a legitimate reason to refuse my service, you will have no choice but to allow me to.”

“... Tch. Whatever…” He waved Ortho off, and with that, he began the search. Though there weren’t many figures, there was actually quite a lot of Jenshin stuff… It was rather impressive. However, tucked beneath some plushes, he managed to find his target. The box’s condition was rather shoddy, lots of bent corners, and even the plastic front had some punctures. It was clear this figure felt more a purchase of obligation than love…

“... GWAH!” The price tag… His circuits felt ready to fry. “ARE YOU INSANE?! 20000 MADOL?!”

“Do you want it-” Ortho slammed his hand onto the desk, everyone nearby turning in shock.

“You pathetic excuse of an Otaku, how DARE you even THINK to charge that much for a figure when it’s box is in such HORRID condition?! Did you throw it in a blender?! Toss it off into the depths of Tartarus itself?! Do you not understand that if your carelessness had pierced the figure itself, you would have committed a crime not even the Sea Witch’s mercy would be able to forgive?!?!”

“(D-dude, relax! It’s just a-)”

“DO NOT TELL ME TO RELAX!!!” His flames burst bright red, nearby booths screaming and making sure none of their wares were too close. “IF YOU CANNOT EVEN KEEP YOUR WORST BOYS SAFE, HOW TO YOU EXPECT TO WORSHIP YOUR BEST GIRLS?!?! A TRUE FAN WOULD LOVE THEIR BIAS UNCONDITIONALLY, WITHOUT HAVING TO PUT OTHERS’ DOWN IN PATHETIC INSECURITY-”

“OKAY, OKAY, JUST TAKE IT!!!” The figure was tossed into Ortho’s hands. “A-and just… Here, take Toddlyre’s too just stay the FUCK away from me…!” The second box was also tossed over, in remarkably WORSE condition.

… Unacceptable… UNACCEPTABLE. Brother would agree with him. Scum of this kind should no exist upon this world they should be eradicated like the pathetic NPCS they were-

“...”

“(Ah?)” He looked at the hand on his shoulder, deathly pale, with flawlessly black nails. Malleus wore a blank smile, and quietly shook his head… The shade of his hood blocked his eyes from view, but Ortho knew there would be disapproval…

“... Thank you for your offerings. We shall take our leave.”

“(... Tch…!)“ As Malleus pulled him away, Ortho glanced back. “... YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN SPARED.”

He was pulled out of the room, and the moment they were away from the crowds, Malleus howled in laughter.

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[Target #3: PoppyParade Laugh Live! Mikan Hana]

---

This booth was in the indoor gym, so with the sheer amount of stalls… They agreed to split up. After all, even if they had gotten most of the figures so far, they were running out of time… By Shroud’s word, him and [Name] would be at the entire Weeb Swap until close… After that, they would need to pray to The Seven if the display wasn’t back up by then…

“...~” A face popped up beside him. He spared a second glance, feeling his heart stop… It was a man, in a crisp, tailored suit, its tailcoat lined with a luxurious, tasteful pattern, with thick, durable leather guards, coupled with Eastern armor… His hair was short, a similar pitch to his own, and concealed his eyepatch in such a tasteful way, yet it never detracted from his princely smile…

(… He also reeked of hairspray and overly-strong deodorant. Despite this, Malleus fought himself not to clutch his heart.)

“... Ah…” … Wait, what was he doing?! Finding himself charmed by some random stranger… He was COMMITTED!!! “(Pardon, ah… Could you… Go somewhere else? Swiftly?”

“... AHAHAHA~!!” The voice he was expecting was NOT the one he got. “WOW, Mal Mal… I GUESS I can leave then~”

“[NAME]...!!!” He clutched his countless tote bags close, hoping they couldn’t see the contents. “I… Didn’t recognize you!”

“That’s the point, silly~” They joined his side, sifting through the giant piles of figures. “Oh, but the VINDICATION of it… (Shokudaikiri Mitsutada, even in another world entirely, you’re STILL completely irresistible to everyone…~!)” With a smirk, they flipped back their bangs, and the act threatened to make his knees buckle. (He… He didn’t understand this, and was terrified to… Just what power did this “Shokudaikiri” possess to make others keel over for him like this…?!) ”... So~ What’re you looking for-”

“Nothing.” They grinned.

“It doesn’t look like nothing.”He clutched the bags closer.

“... Ah… How did you recognize ME, might I ask? I am also disguised, yes?” They rose a brow. He hoped they would take the bait and change topics.

“... You really think there’s another man who’s 6’7 on campus with horns?”

“... Fair point.” He’d grown too accustomed to their company. (He was even beginning to forget how much he stood out…)

“... Well!” They stretched, Malleus unable to stop an interested purr. “I should probably meet up with Idia, since we’re going to a panel soon… So I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

“Ah, is that an invitation…?” They smirked.

“No, it’s a warning.” They lifted their eyepatch so he could see their wink, and left his side with a smile.

His fluttering heart was gone in a flash, replaced with pure dread as he tore through the figures, finally finding the last Mikan Hana in stock.

---

[Target #4: Hatsune Miku NRC Edition/Heartslabyul Ver. (Garage Kit)]

---

Golden eyes locked on each other, and even in disguises, both knew the other all-too-well.

“”... AHHHHHHHHHH-DIBS!!!”” Both hands landed on the very last kit at the exact same time, the Shrouds huffing, and shooting each other a glare.

“... I’m older-”

“I’m YOUNGER.”

“Garage kits are dangerous for long-term health-”

“Well since I do not possess lungs, and you do, that means I should have it then!”

“YOU DON’T EVEN STAN MIKU.”

“I DO NOT NEED TO STAN TO PURCHASE MERCH.”

“I WILL UPDATE BINDOWS RIGHT NOW ORTHO I SWEAR TO THE FATES-”

“DO IT, COWARD-”

“Uh… guys…?” The booth-owner flinched as the Shrouds immediately stared at them, eyes unwavering, and terrifying… “I can just… Sell one of you the display model…”

“”... HHMPH.” Ortho snatched the display, and Idia the kit, clutching it protectively to his chest.

“(This isn’t over, brother.)”

“(Final Destination, Fox only, no items. See you tonight, ORTHO.)”

Both slammed their Madol down and left the booth. The booth-keep sighed, though jumped, when someone else ran up frantic in a perfect Miku cosplay, slamming his hands onto the desk.

“ROI DE MA REINE, PLEASE!!! TELL ME YOU STILL HAVE EVEN A SINGLE KIT LEFT!!!”

“For you, Mr. Hunt?” They smirked, pulling two boxes from beneath their desk. “I saved both the standard Pomefiore Version, AND the limited release RSA Exclusive Neige one~”

“Oh, MERCI!!! MERCI!!!”

A thick handful of Madol was slammed onto the counter, and Rook snatched both boxes, snuggling them close, along with his countless bags of Miku merch.

---

[Final Target: Rabbit’s Foot x Kuji Destiny: Grand Command Robin Hood Noodle Stopper]

---

Both boys looked at the final paper… They had checked every last booth, and they’d failed to find it…

“... It seems even in figure form, fox beastfolk are quite elusive, Shroud…” Ortho was dead silent, tapping away at his monitors. (Malleus really hoped he would stop soon, as despite his strength, his arms were beginning to ache from the weight of PVC… “... Shroud-”

“I FOUND ONE.” The screens zipped off into oblivion. “There’s a chance… We’ll have to be fast, but someone just listened one for offer in Booth E!!!”

“Booth E!? Why haven’t we gone their yet?!”

“That booth is strictly for one-off trades, so we had no need! Now go!!! GO!!!” Tiny metal hands pushed Malleus away with ease, until he moved on his own two feet. As they arrived, he slammed the door open, revealing… A mostly dead room, compared to the others. Only a handful of people were there, sitting at different desks while negotiating transactions…

Yet there was one person alone, sitting perfectly polite with a smile, Robin Hood’s box placed neatly besides him on his desk.

“”... Leech.””

“Oya?” The two grabbed a chair, sitting before him. “What a surprise to see you fine gentlemen here! (... Well, not Shroud, at least.)”

“”...”” Truly, if either of them had more luck, they’d try to find another seller… After all, this was Jade. He’d wring them for every Madol they had, if they weren’t careful…

“... I am also quite surprised, Leech!” Malleus’ smile hid his worries. “I did not take you for an ‘otaku.’ As for me? I was simply invited by the younger Shroud’s pity, I assume.” They both shared a chuckle at that, Jade pausing to take a sip of his water.

“Well, I happened to come in possession of this figure through… ‘Work,’ shall we say, and since Azul has yet to discover the lucrative business of figures, I decided to lay claim before my brother could damage it.”

“And you’ve brought it here in search a profit?”

“Well… That, and to shatter people’s souls.” He smirked. “Truly, laying false hope in people’s hearts in hopes of finally obtaining one of their dream figures… It’s rather delightful, don’t you think?” Ortho stood tall, hair flickering pink.

“Why you-!” Malleus held up a hand, and shot him a glare.

“Leech’s business is his own. If you are unable to tolerate it, then I ask you take your leave, Shroud.”

“(... Nghn…!)” Slowly, his flames dyed back into blue, and he returned to his seat. Jade chuckled, reaching for a pack of candy to his side.

“Would you like one? They’re little chocolates shaped like mushrooms! (How quaint!)”

“Thank you for your hospitality, Leech.” Both boys took one, though they all heard Ortho’s shatter within his palm. “Now, as you can very well guess… We did not come for mere splendid chatter.”

“Oh, I assumed as such.” Jade took a bite of his treat with a smile. “So make an offer.”

“...” He was… Not actually sure WHAT to offer… With the past figures, they had an estimate to work with, but as this was a lottery prize… There wasn’t actually an original price for the figure itself, rather, the ticket for it… “Well, the box seems in perfect condition, and from what I can see through the clear window, the figure does not seem to have any remarkable flaw… You agree with me, don’t you, Shroud?”

“... I do.” He was clearly still pissed, but knew there was no time to dwell. “As my data shows, the Rabbit Foot Kuji line of figures tend to be on the higher-quality of prize figures, so that would put my initial pricing at a range of 3000 to 5500 Madol.”

“Well, if that is what one of the famous Shroud brothers says, then it must be true!” Internally, they both cheered. “... So I shall part with it for 45, as well as a trip to Diasomnia’s private garden!”

“And what purpose would that be for?” Ortho tugged his sleeve, but Malleus shrugged him off.

“Oh? For gathering, of course. Unless you plan to take me to the Valley of Thorns itself, the garden is the closet I shall get to some of it’s wildlife-

“DEAL-” Malleus stood tall, and slammed his hands on the table.

“NO DEAL!!! WHAT GALL DO YOU HAVE TO DEMAND SUCH A THING OF ME, LEECH?!?!”

“DRACONIA, PLEASE!!! REMEMBER, THIS IS FOR [NAME]’S SAKE!!!” … His eye twitched, and he sat down.

“... Very well. A SUPERVISED, 10-MINUTE VISIT to Diasomnia’s private gardens, ALONE, AND ONLY ONCE.” Jade smiled.

“Very well! The trip, 45, and an extra 15 for my silence on whatever this matter seems to be!”

Malleus slammed the cash down, cracking the table beneath. Jade just pocketed it with a smile.

---

“... Ugh… How exhausting.” The entire afternoon had been nothing but opening boxes… HE wanted to use magic, but Shroud was offended by the mere THOUGHT. (At the very least, he was allowed to repair the shelf with it…)

“We are almost done, Draconia! We just have to place everything back in the proper order!”

“... And how will we do that???”

“Simple!” Ortho grabbed Scarlet Claw, and placed her square on the second shelf. “I shall simply review my earlier visits to the Guest Room, and use them as reference for placement!”

“... That’s quite amazing…! … SO WHY DIDN’T YOU DO THAT AFTER YOU DESTROYED THEM ALL?!?!”

“... Ah.” Ortho was dead silent. “... I WAS FEARING FOR MY LIFE, AND DID NOT THINK TO DO SO!!!”

“Ugh, we have no time for this…!” Malleus passed him Nenti. “JUST ARRANGE THEM BEFORE [NAME] GETS BACK!!!”

“I AM!! I AM!!”

As the child continued the display, Malleus gathered all the boxes, tucking them away into the closet. They could only pray they made no mistakes…

-----------

“... Ah~! Finally home~!” [Name] carefully removed their prop sword, and leaned it against the wall. Idia? His own prop was carelessly tossed to the side, and he just flopped onto the couch.

“Kill me.”

“No, who else is gonna cosplay with me.”

“AHHHHHHHH-” They reached into one of their many bags, pulling out a box of Pocki, and tossed a stick onto him. “I’m too dead to move, just feed it to me.”

“If you were alive enough to do your make-up for your Laugh Live! cosplay this morning you’re alive enough for Pocki.”

“Tch, whatever…” He weakly grabbed the box, grabbing a stick. “... So you said Malleus was being mad sus too?”

“Yeah. I don’t know WHAT yet, but he and Ortho did SOMETHING… I just KNOW it-...” They made eye contact with a pair of dead eyes, paired with a charming smile that failed to reach them. “... Toddlyre…???”

“Huh? Did he finally get a re-run or something?” They ran to the shelf, snatching the little man in a death grip, and showed it to Idia. “... HUH?!?! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HIS BENDO?!?!”

“I DIDN’T, I…” They forced themself to relax, carefully placing the figure down. Idia joined them, helping to check each and every one.

“... Hey, this is the Miku Ortho and I was fighting over… And she’s the SCARABIAN version…!”

“And this Scarlet’s missing the scuff mark that the one I bought had…”

“This Nenti looks legit too, wasn’t yours a bootleg?!”

“Yeah, I didn’t realize the seller I bought from was a bad one… So I jokingly named him Bento… And I DEFINITELY couldn’t get a Toddlyer… This Mikan’s also in the wrong stage costume… And the miniature plate of sandwiches I bought for Robin’s missing… And why is there a Castlemania figure here…?!”

“W-what about the other figures?! Are those also the wrong ones?!?!”

“I-I don’t even know which ones are RIGHT, anymore…!!!”

“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED, THEN?!?!”

“... A-ah… I…” [Name] took a few steps back, leaning against the shelf. “I need… To sit sown a b-YAH!!!” They tripped over a nearby trashcan, a thick pile of dust pouring out. “... WHY IS THERE SO MUCH DUST-”

“KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” Idia scrambled back, clutching at his costume’s pearls in horror. “Th-th-th… THERE’S AN ARM!!!”

“WHAT?!?!” A shaky hand reached into the dust, and pulled out a PVC arm… “... M… MIKAN…?!?!” Uncaring of the carpet, they dumped the whole can, pulling out more, half-melted fragments of their former collection. “T-this is Bento’s face… And Robin’s ear…!”

“I… I feel like I’m gonna hurl…” [Name] tossed him the can, but he shrieked, and smacked it away. “LIKE HELL I’M PUKING IN THERE OF ALL THINGS!!! DO YOU WANT TO DESECRATE THEIR GRAVES THAT BADLY?!?!”

“I-I’m trying to be NICE, DAMNIT!!!” They bit back their tears, taking deep breaths. “... I-it’s fine… It’s not fine! But it’s fine… They worked REALLY HARD to buy everything back, and even did some more-”

“I’M GONNA DISMANTLE ORTHO THE MOMENT I GET MY HANDS ON HIM-”

“I SAID IT’S FINE!!!” There was a knock at the door. The two panicked, quickly shoveling the dust back into the trash, and smacked whatever remained off their costumes. “(Quick! Do I look like I’ve been crying?!)”

“(You look like you’re about to-)”

“(SHUSH SHUSH SHUSH…!)” They took another breathe, before opening the door, finding Malleus. Idia scowled, reaching for his prop, but…

“... I… Have a confession to make, [Last Name]...” He couldn’t even meet their eyes.

“... Alright. Come in, Malleus-”

“DRACONIA.” A light-blue blue crashed into him from the side, knocking him out of sight. “I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU EVERYWHERE FOR OUR SCHOOL PROJECT THAT DEFINATELY EXISTS WE NEED TO LEAVE NOW-”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!” He tried shoving Ortho off, but the child refused to let go. “I cannot live with this guilt any longer…! I can feel it, gnawing at my mind, driving me to insanity the longer I try to surpress it…!”

“THEN GO INSANE BECAUSE IF MY BROTHER FINDS OUT HE’LL-” He froze, his sensors alerting him that he was being watched…

“... Do WHAT, Ortho…~?”

“... WE HAVE TO G-WAH…!!!” Idia dragged him inside, and though Ortho could easily fight back… Well, not really against Idia. (It was as if his pettiness and inhuman strength vanished, and he was nothing more than a whiny puppy.) “NOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!”

“NOTHING I SWEAR IT ON MY MOTHERBOARD!!!”

“DO I HAVE TO CHECK SAID MOTHERBOARD?!?!”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-” [Name] stepped out into the hall, and shut the door behind them. Miraculously, you could hear (almost) nothing afterwards.

“... Well…?” Malleus stood to his feet, silent. He opened his mouth, but flinched.

“... I…” They already knew, but took his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “... Shroud and I… We destroyed your precious collection. At the ‘Weeb Swap’ earlier, we had been trying to buy replacements for everything, but…” Even though they were the one harmed, they frowned, seeing him struggle not to cry. “I… I can’t lie to you, not about something so grave… So I hope you shall accept my confession, and my last token of affection for you…” He raised their hand, pressing a chaste kiss to it.

“Mal Mal… What do you mean ‘last token…?’”

“... Oh please, after something so cruel? I have no right to be your partner…!” He tried backing away, but they held him firm.

“Malleus, don’t be ridiculous!” His ears fell flat. “... I am hurt, I really am. You two should’ve known better than to do… WHATEVER you did in Ramshackle… And I spent a lot of time and money on my collection…But you told the truth.”

“... B-but-”

“I already knew, Malleus.” He flinched. “But you came and told the truth anyway, despite not knowing that. That means a lot, and you even went out of the way to replace everything, and more. While I can’t say I completely forgive you yet… I can tell you that I DO want to, and I ESPECIALLY don’t want you to leave…” They caressed his cheek, and despite feeling unworthy, he closed his eyes, and leaned into their touch.

“... Then please, [Name]... Tell this selfish dragon how to earn forgiveness for this crime…”

“Hm…” It couldn’t just be something easy, he’d just end up feeling worse… “... Well… The last day of the Weeb Swap is tomorrow… So how about we both go, and you buy me one reeeally nice figure! One I wouldn’t be able to afford normally?”

“I will buy you any and all that you ask for, my love.”

“... I only said one Mal Mal…”

“And I destroyed more. One per each I destroyed.”

“JUST ONE.”

“THAT IS NOT ENOUGH.”

“MALLEUS DRACONIA IF YOU BUY ME MORE THAN ONE FIGURE I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO CLIMB YOU LIKE A TREE AND PILE DRIVE YOU.”

“IS THAT MEANT TO DETER ME, FOOLISH HUMAN?!?!”

They rolled their eyes, but laughed, knowing that they had another long day to prepare for, tomorrow…

-----------

“(... Beloved… Did you HAVE to wear that costume again…?!)” [Name] smirked, looking up from the bin of manga they were sifting through.

“Absolutely.” He groaned. “In fact, I’m even learning that I should wear suits like this more often~”

“(Please don’t… I don’t think my heart would be able to handle it…)” They laughed, pulling one last book for their pile, but before they could take out their wallet, Malleus coughed.

“... No. I’M paying for this one. You already cleared your debt-” He’d already passed a stack of Madol to the seller. “... RUDE…”

“What else do you desire, dearest~?” They lightly smacked his chest, yet he just grinned like the bastard he was.

“Fine… If you’re gonna be that way… Let’s get some lunch!! Even though this is TECHNICALLY an unofficial event, some of the cafeteria ghosts are hosting a themed cafe!!”

“Then order whatever you wish, my love.”

“Yay~!!” They snuggled close to him, and the two headed off, eager to enjoy the rest of the Weeb Swap’s last day…

---------

“... Brother… PLEASE…!!!” Idia snickered, already selecting his next main.

“Please what, Ortho~? I thought you LOVED playing video games with me.

“I-I do, but…!” Despite being metal, his hands trembled, unable to bring himself to select his next character. “I-I’ve never seen you so ruthless…! It’s been hours and yet I have not managed to win a single match…!”

“Oh, boo hoo~! Should I put a little buff on your or something~? … Tch, TOUGH LUCK.” A creepy smile crossed the oldest Shroud’s face. “Those poor figures… They did nothing wrong. So I’m going to avenge them with everything I’ve got…”

“... I… I see…”

Ortho chose his next character, knowing there was no hope of escaping such a cruel fate…

Chapter Text

“(...Good evening, children! I shall be heading out for the evening~!)” The three Diasomnia students immediately looked up from the (suspiciously…) delicious sundaes Lilia had made, barely catching him half-way out the door with an oversized trench coat on.

“I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW THESE TREATS WERE TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!!! WHAT’RE YOU HIDING, LILIA?!?!”

“Wha-why, absolutely NOTHING at all, Sebek!!!”

“Father hesitated…!”

“Because I was caught off guard by such a ridiculous question-”

“STOP HIM!!!” At Malleus’ command, the retainers lunged for the Vice, but he dodged with ease.

“How rude…! Am I NOT allowed to have a life outside the three of you?!” Malleus smirked, rising from his seat, and manifesting his staff.

“Oh, of COURSE you are permitted such a thing, Lilia! … But to hide it from US? It’s almost as if it’s something we’d ALL like to participate in…” Lilia huffed, taking his own baton out.

“Well, I’ll have you know, that it’s an INVITE ONLY EVENT. While normally I’d be more than willing to make accommodations, I cannot afford such luxuries tonight!!! Not without harming my stance among these peers…!” Malleus grinned from ear to ear, his eye twitching.

“In that case… I suppose you’ll just have to spend the remainder of your night here, Vanrouge…”

“... Really? Ugh, so childish! Did I not raise you boys better than this?!” Three wands pointed directly his way, terrifying glares from each and every wielder. “... I’ll take that as a no. … Haah… Alright!”

He rolled up his sleeves, hoping the scuffle wouldn’t cause him TOO much time…

------------

Thunder crackled throughout the halls of Diasomnia, the three students (now with bruised egos,) finishing their sundaes… (Though, Malleus’ spoon threatened to snap beneath his grip.

“... UGH!!! JUST HOW CRUEL CAN VANROUGE BE?!?!” Sebek slammed his head on the table. “WHAT’S SO SPECIAL AND SECRET THAT NOT EVEN WE CAN JOIN?!?!”

“... Father must have his reasons. I’m sure of it.” Malleus scoffed, stabbing his ice cream.

“Whatever it is… It fills me with ill will. While I have full faith that Lilia would do nothing to truly harm us… Tch…” Malleus brought the cream to his lips, heating the metal with a brief flame, watching it melt and bubble before him.

“IT IS STILL ‘SUS,’ AS TRAPOLLA WOULD SAY!!!” Sebek took a scoop of his own treat, but frowned. “(... Tch, I can’t bring myself to enjoy this… Not after such betrayal…!)” He took his bowl and tossed it straight in the trash. Silver and Malleus raised a brow.

“”... Sebek.””

“... FINE, I SHALL RETRIEVE IT…” He grimaced, reaching back in, and slammed the bowl onto the counter. However, he caught notice of a strange, off-white envelope, sealed with a bold-blue wax. He couldn’t resist, pulling it out as well, and flipped it to the other side.

“Sebek, I only asked of you to fetch the dish, not trash itself-”

“A CLUE!!!” He slammed the envelope onto the table, the others cringing in disgust, until they read the words… ‘Lilia Vanrouge - TOP SECRET.’ “WHATEVER IT IS VANROUGE IS DOING, IT HAS TO DO WITH THIS!!!” Malleus reached for it, but winced. Even with gloves, the idea of touching something that had been in the trash for so long…

“... Well, Sebek? Do not keep us waiting, now! Read it’s contents to Silver and I!”

“AT ONCE, MILORD!!!” He fumbled with the envelope, pulling out a slightly-offer-white paper. “AHEM!!! ‘... Dear Private-Eye Vanrouge,”

At that, they all rose a brow.

“‘... I write this letter to you in upmost importance. This case has become too much for the mere footmen at Queensland Yard to handle, and The Queendom has decided that there is no other choice, but to outsource… And of course, what better man for the job, then one of your caliber?’”

“(... Since when did father become a detective…?)”

“(Your guess is as good as mine, Silver…)”

“‘... Of course, despite your phenomenal skills, you shall not be on this case alone. You are to meet with a fellow detective, and solve this case together… If neither of you can come to the same conclusion, and solve this case in time… Then we shall have no further use for your skill, and extreme measures shall be taken… Now, for your briefing.

A spy from the Queendom had been sent undercover to investigate rumors about criminal activity around Sage’s Island and had tracked its source to the esteemed Night Raven College. However, though it has gone under wraps to the general public, they were found murdered this morning, with no signs of a suspect.’”

“(A murder…?!)”

“(To think something so grave would occur during my tenure…)”

“‘Time is of the essence, Private-Eye, and we shall reward you for it. Now, to prevent leaks, the remainder of your briefing shall be in the following code below.

Long Live Her Reign, The Queen of Hearts, [Redacted].’” Sebek squinted at the bottom of the page, before slamming it onto the desk. “THERE’S JUST A BUNCH OF RANDOM NUMBERS?!?!”

“Let me see…” Malleus took the sheet, holding it up to the light. The two retainers scooted close, each reading the combination.

‘=> 7.18.5.5.14.8.15.21.19.5

<= 19.5.9.18.18.5.2.23.1.18.20.19’

Without a doubt, it was their (or well, Lilia’s,) first clue. Silver took out his pen, quietly counting out the numbers.

“... It doesn’t seem to go over 23… Could it be the alphabet?”

“Tch, how RIDICULOUS, SILVER!!!” Malleus passed the slip to Silver, and slowly, he began srcawling out the numbers.

‘... G…r…e…e…n…h…o…u…s…e.’

“... THAT WORKED?!?! UGH!!!” Silver smiled, and began transcribing the next line.

‘...S…e…i…r…r…e…b…w…a…r…t…s…’

“HA!!!” Silver scratched his head, and checked his work… But it was correct.

“I don’t understand… What could be different this time?” Malleus examined the letter, and smirked.

“Perhaps it is the arrows. For both lines, they point in a different direction. If you are to transcribe the second line in the opposite direction, that may wield more accurate results.”

“I see…” Silver picked up his pen, and followed his liege’s advice.

‘...S…t…r…a…w…b…e…r…r…i…e…s…’

“... Ah…!”

“””THE GREENHOUSE STRAWBERRY PATCH…!!!””” Sebek crammed the letter in his pocket, and the three bolted for the exit, eager to uncover the next clue…

-----------

“... GWAH…!!!”

The sight before them was unmistakable… Bright-yellow caution tape, and dry-red pigment stained into the pathway’s stone, only disrupted by a white-chalk outline. Sebek shuddered, but as Silver and Malleus ducked under the tape, he forced himself to do the same… The lord’s tongue flickered, and he scowled.

“... Someone else has been here recently… Their scent still lingers…”

“”VANROUGE?! (Father?!)””

“... No, not him… Another.” He approached the outline, almost… Troubled. “Though, what I’m more concerned is the blood… Or even the corpse. The air lacks both the scent of blood AND decay… (This Queensland Yard seems to clean somewhat well…)” Bright-yellow tags lay on the ground, points of interest. Silver kneeled, examining a letter opener on the ground by the outline, while Sebek gasped, snatching a note carefully concealed within the strawberries. “MILORD!!! I FOUND SOMETHING!!!”

“Oh~? Well, hand it here, then! Let us see what the Queendom has to say!” Once the parchment was in his hands, Malleus popped off the seal with ease, unfurling the note within…

“‘Good work, Private-Eyes! We knew it was the right decision to count on you… However, do not relax yet, as troublesome information has come from our tireless research…

You are in grave danger. This murder was no simple assassination. It is in fact the clever craft and cunning, of that treacherous menace, W! The criminal organization who’ll stop at nothing until it brings our beloved Queendom down to it’s very knees… We’ve even reason to believe that one of it’s deadliest assassins, Sebastian Corab, may even be on the prowl, in efforts to hinder your research! Do take a cautious eye with you as you continue your research. Now, for the second part of your briefing…

Victim: Holland Shiftwoll.

EST. Time of Death: Tuesday, 3:30 AM

Cause of Death: Blood Loss via Sharp Weapon

Notes: Agent was found in disguise, with belongings scattered about. According to intel, he was to deliver documents with information about the criminal organization that had infiltrated NRC, however, no such documents were found on scene, or body. Current assumption is that Corab has already acquired them. His current whereabouts are unknown.’” Upon finishing the letter, Malleus chuckled.

“No puzzle this time? A pity, I was quite looking forward to it!”

“MILORD!!! THIS ISN’T THE TIME!!! Though it may not be our precious Valley that is at stake, surely helping the Queendom shall assist in future diplomatic negotiations…!”

“Of course! So where do you suppose we start, Sebek?”

“... Well…!” Silver gasped.

“Milord! This is one of the library’s letter openers! It seems that the culprit must have taken it from there!”

“I see… Now, is it a red herring to throw us off? Though the opener may be from it, does it hold any other relevance to our case?” Sebek kneeled next to Silver, examining it as close as possible, without touching it.

“... I must say… This is a surprisingly clean knife for a murder weapon!!”

“... Clean, you say?” They rose to their feet, deep in thought. “... Then I believe this ‘Corab’ has brought the blade to distract Queensland Yard, and almost us! Quick, check the surrounding plants! There must be SOMETHING we’ve overlooked…!” They rolled up their sleeves, and did everything but tear out the surrounding plants. The mint, nope. The blackberries, nothing… With each and every plant, they felt grim, as if they were overlooking another crucial detail…

Yet, just as Malleus was about to give in, he found it, tossed haphazardly into a nearby pile of painted roses…

Specifically, white roses painted a bold blue… A plant, AND color that should not have existed in harmony on the prestigious, campus grounds. Clearly, this Corab, and ‘W’ were expecting them…

“SILVER! SEBEK!” He returned the dissection knife (stealing from a crime scene was improper etiquette, after all), and rose to his feet. “WE DEPART TO THE SCIENCE LAB AT ONCE!!!”

“”YES MILORD!!!”” His cape swished dramatically in the wind as they vanished off into the night, not a second to spare…

---

“... Huh?” Floyd searched all over the strawberry patch, almost tearing some of the plants out. “... The hell…?! There’s nothing here!!!”

“... Non???” Rook kneeled next to him, yet his own search proved fruitless. “... Ah! The soil… It has been disturbed quite recently! … It seems another group has arrived before, and taken all the letters…!!!”

“HUH…?!?!” Rook followed the path of carnage, ignoring the crime-scene altogether. “How t’hell’re we supposed to solve the crime THEN?!?!”

“Why basic, my dear Motson~!” His eyes gleamed upon sight of the carefully concealed roses, carefully plucking the scalpel placed next to it. “We simply ‘borrow’ a glance at our rival’s assignment~! It’s the least they could do, for being so rude…”

“Hehe, good thinking~! … But we should hurry, cause it looks like everyone else’s in the lead so far… And like HELL I’m losin’ to AZUL.”

“Of course, of course~!! I also do not desire to lose to our enemy… So we shall simply take a shortcut!”

“Oh, I LIKE shortcuts…~”

The two snickered, adjusting their deerstalker caps and caplets, and disappeared off into the night, the stakes of the night fueled higher by Spite.

-----------

“MILORD, GET DOWN!!!”

“!!!” He dove behind the professor’s desk, and Silver snagged Sebek’s collar, dragging him down.

“ACK…!” A gunshot. The bullet missed, knocking over a stray vial instead. Their blood ran cold, but just as quickly boiled, hearing the door slam, and footsteps dart away.

“HEY!!! STOP RIGHT THERE-”

“SEBEK!!!” Malleus snagged his collar. “... Corab has made his attempt, and it was a failed one! What we need to focus on is this room… If he was willing to spill blood, there is something he cannot risk us seeing here!”

“B-BUT HE-”

“SEARCH!!! I DEMAND IT!!!”

“”YES MILORD…!!!”

The room was seemingly untouched, yet they wasted no time, turning over each and every cauldron, even searching through the teacher’s desk, finding nothing but candy and failed exam papers… Sebek put them back, but couldn’t resist, shuffling through them.

“(... Trapolla… 89… Spade… 69… HA! I GOT A 98, PATHETIC HUMANS-)”

““SEBEK!!!””

“GAH…!” The papers flew in the air. “Ack…! I SHALL GATHER THEM AT ONCE, MILORD!!!”

“MAKE IT SWIFT!” He snatched them, crumpling countless ones, and ducked beneath the professor’s desk. One fell deep within, almost completely in it’s darkness, so he crawled further in to reach…

Immediately, he made eye-contact with a bouquet of blue-painted roses, a note delicately tucked between it’s thorns.

“MILORD!!!” He snatched it, holding it high. “I FOUND IT!!! I FOUND THE NEXT CLUE!!!”

“AH! WONDERFUL WORK, SEBEK!!!” Malleus plucked it from his grasp, quickly popping it open.

“‘... I see you are persistent, Private-Eyes… Well, I can commend such bravery!

… Or, as I like to call it, stupidity.

I’m sure you received Corab’s threat, but if you still persist… Then let us end this… However, this time, there shall be no clues. After all, I trust you know where I await, great Private-Eyes…’”

“... WELL, THAT WAS AN AWFUL LETTER.”

“I’m inclined to agree, milord.

“As am I… Well, I suppose there’s only one way to solve this!” Malleus squinted, reading the fine print at the bottom of the paper. “... Ah! This is from Vargas’ office! I suppose this means they are at the Main Coliseum!”

“”AMAZING, LORD DRACONIA!!! (Truly, there is not a Private-Eye better than you!)””

“Thank you, you two… NOW MAKE HASTE! BEFORE CORAB AND ‘W’ ESCAPE!!!”

“”YES MILORD!!!”” The letter was tossed aside, and the three bolted for the coliseum.

---

“... Huh?!” Azul plucked the letter from the desk. “... That’s it?! I didn’t expect this to be anything professional, but just out on the desk?! It’s like they made no effort to hide it at a-”

“GET DOWN!!!”

“GYAH…!” Leona tackled him behind the desk, an overly-dramatic gunshot ringing out. “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT…?!” Leona’s ears twitched at the attacker’s footsteps, and he crawled to his feet, face flushed once he found the single bean shot at them. (Just HOW did he take such a cheap act so seriously…?)

“... Tch. Must’ve been whoever’s Corab…” Azul scoffed, dusting off his detective costume, and fixing his askew glasses. “The roses beneath the desk, too… It looks like THAT was supposed to be where the letter was, but SOMEONE didn’t put it back!”

“Tch, how RUDE! … Ugh, I bet it was Floyd! He’s trying to make things difficult for us!”

“Well, either way, it doesn’t matter…” Leona scowled, adjusting his cap. “The roses are too strong, so I can’t place who… But someone was here not long ago. Quick, where do we need to go?!” Azul read the letter, and quickly tucked it back into the envelope, placing it in it’s PROPER place.

“The coliseum! That’s where the final showdown should be…!”

“The coliseum, eh? (… Tch, guess there’s no choice…)”

“... Wait, what do you-GYAH!!!” Leona snatched Azul, tossing him over his shoulders. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING, KINGSCHOLAR?!?!”

“Carrying the team, isn’t it obvious?!”

“DON’T SAY IT SO CASUALLY!!! AND PUT ME DOWN-”

“Do you wanna beat Floyd~?”

“... Tch…!” Azul snatched Leona’s capelet in a death grip. “Drop me, and I’m going to steal your magic, Overblot be DAMNED, KINGSCHOLAR.”

“Yeah, yeah, now quit yapping, or I’ll bump you into a corner!”

“DON’T YOU DARE DO THAT EITHER!!!”

“(... Heh~)”

Leona bolted down the hall, Azul screaming in horror the entire time.

-----------

There they were… Corab and the elusive ‘W’, in the middle of the courtyard…

… Already in an intense brawl with someone else.

“SCHOENHEIT, COVER ME!!!” Lilia, clad in a dramatic, bat-patterned detective’s coat, dashed for the Masked Mastermind, but Corab was ready, head-to-toe in black, and in their own mask, aiming their gun directly at Lilia.”

“NOT SO FAST, CORAB…!” Within a flash, a wall of ice protected Lilia, allowing him to continue for the true target… Vil smirked, whipping his hair back, which fluttered in the breeze majestically along with his own capelet.

“... Hmph!” ‘W’ swished his cape, manifesting his own want. “TRULY, PRIVATE-EYES! DO YOU TAKE ME FOR SUCH EASY PREY?! Though I may conquer the Queendom through the shadows, meticulously planning my way… I can assure you, I am more than capable of protecting myself!!!” He spoke in a deep, commandeering voice... Truly, that of only the most trecherous kind!!! The three members of Diasomnia peered out from the field’s entrance, hearts pounding in awe of the scene.

“Father… He truly IS a detective…!”

“SCHOENHEIT IS, AS WELL?!?!” Admittedly… Malleus actually forgot they were chasing Lilia. (He’d gotten so caught up in the mystery, he'd forgotten about the man entirely…)

“(... Truly, Lilia is full of surprises…)” He glanced to his juniors. Both their eyes were wide, and sparkling in excitement, their hands itching to join the action, but… For some reason, the mere idea of it gave him pause…

“... Milord, please…!” He could practically see how Silver fought himself to stay in place. “I MUST join their side… I may be a soldier of the Valley, yet… Please! Permit me to fight for the Queendom, by FATHER’S side just this once…!”

“PERMIT ME AS WELL!!! While I have full faith in Vanrouge’s abilities… Ahh…! I WANT TO JOIN SO BAD…!!!”

“... To see my own retainers so determined for another’s country… It does bring pain to this prince’s heart, you know~”

“ACK…!”

“That was not my intention, milord…!” Malleus gazed back at the battlefield. Lilia… He seemed to be holding back… No, it was impossible… The man must’ve been injured, to be performing so poorly…!

“... I permit it, but you both must swear to remain loyal to the Valley of Thorns once our mission is done here.”

“OF COURSE!!!”

“WE SHALL NOT DISAPPOINT, MILORD!!!” They grabbed their batons and bolted out into the field.

“”WE’RE COMING, VANROUGE!!!””

“”””... HUH?!?!”””” Malleus’ heart suddenly stopped, recognizing the other two voices in the mix. Quietly, he stepped back into the shadows.

“”WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!” Vil groaned, as [Name] dropped their bean gun and scrambled for the exit, seeing them make a beeline straight for them and Trey. “RUN RUN RUN RUN-”

“GYAH…!!!” He’d barely managed to dodge a blast of fire, and more screams filled the courtyard… Lilia’s voice boomed above the coliseum, chilling Malleus to the very core…

“I SWEAR TO THE SEVEN YOU TWO ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?!”

Malleus turned around and RAN back to Diasomnia, praying the two would leave his name out of further discussions…

(... Though, he did make a note to inquire to [Name] about… Whatever this was, that they had Not-So-Graciously NOT invited him too…)

Chapter Text

“... So…~?”

“... Mm…~” He sunk deeper into the cushions of the armchair. It had taken months of time,Madol, and I don’t even wanna THINK about the amount of resources it took, but it was worth it… (For once, he actually looked COMFORTABLE in his seat.) “My throne back in Diasomnia could not HOPE to compete with this, beloved…”

“Yes…! … Oh! It can also recline! (There’s a button on the side.)”

“Hm?” He glanced over, and hesitantly pulled it. As the chair leaned back, he clutched the arms in surprise, but carefully allowed himself to fall back. “(Modern inventions… They always find new ways to surprise me…”)

He seemed troubled by it, but in only a few minutes, I watched him completely pass out on the chair. (I grabbed a blanket and tucked him in, since it was a bit chilly tonight.

-----------

“... Zzz…”

I was… Surprised to see him here. Really, he SHOULDN’T have been here…

Ever since I’d given him the armchair a few days ago, it felt like every second of freetime he had (that wasn’t dedicated to gargoyles or grotesques) was now 100% dedicated to that armchair. Of course, if I asked him to do something, or he felt needy, he’d leave, but…

“(... Malleus?)” I gently shook his arm.

“(... Mmn…)” He waved me away. “(Go away, Lilia…)” I gently shook him again, with more force.

“(Wrong person.)” He opened an eye, smiling when he saw me.

“[Name]...” He stretched, all his limbs cracking, and a content purr leaving him. “Mm… Good evening, dearest…”

“Evening, Mal Mal.” He made no effort to move. In fact, he did the exact opposite. He snuggled in further, nuzzling against the soft fleece of his blanket. “How long have you been here…?”

“Mm… Does it matter?”

“Well. No, but I’m curious, so…” His eyes fluttered back closed, and he knit his brow, trying to remember.

“Mm… I suppose it was sometime after classes…”

“After classes…?” Then that would explain why he wasn’t at the House Leader meeting… “Did Lilia catch you up on the meeting?”

“He tried dragging me to it, but eventually gave up.” He shuffled a bit, before moving the blanket, patting his lap. “Now enough of him. Come, [Name]. Join me.”

“... Wait, you DITCHED the meeting.”

“Missing one shall cause no harm. Now hurry, before I gather you myself.”

“Malleus!!! We were talking about the new budgets today-oh…!!” With a limp flick of his wrist, a sudden gust of wind shoved me forward. I fell into his arms, and with a satisfied smirk, he wrapped the blanket taut around us. “NO!!! We are NOT done talking about this.”

He opened the recliner, quietly laughing at my cries as he snuggled close, before falling back to sleep…

-----------

Oh, I’d NEVER seen him so mad.

“... Malleus. I know you love the chair, but just choose somewhere else to sit this once.” He balked, looking between me, and Grim, who snickered from where he was a little goth loaf on the armchair.

“[NAME], it is MY. SEAT.”

“Nyeh he~! And I was here FIRST.”

“You were NOT!!!” I glanced at Grim.

“Were you?”

“... Yes!” He wasn’t…

“... Alright!” I walked over, and scooped up the little cat.

“NO!!!” He dug his claws into the cushions, and for just a brief second, I swore Malleus’ eye twitched. “NOOOOOO!!!”

“I’ll make tuna salad sandwiches tonight.”

“FINEEEEEE…!” I wasn’t a MONSTER. I dropped him onto the couch, where he flopped onto his side. “I also want an omellete!”

“If you behave, I’ll consider it.”

“Nyegh…” With a sneer, Malleus dusted his armchair, and took his seat. Whether or not he’d realized it, a slight growl laced the air, only dissipating once I gave his forehead a smooch.

-----------

“... So THIS is the ‘new throne’ I’ve heard so much about these past few weeks!” Lilia walked around the armchair, examining it with a smile as Sebek and Silver stood at the side… For some reason, I felt uneasy about this...

“Haha, Malleus has been calling it that? Too high of a praise, don’t you think?” He ran his fingers along, feeling the soft fabric.

“No, no! It’s quite phenomenal work, [Name]! You’ve grown quite skilled in crafting, haven’t you~?”

“Really? Well… Thank you! … Though, if this is your way of buttering me up for your OWN armchair…” He laughed, waving over the boys.

“Oh, no need! I have no need at the moment! However, we SHALL be confiscating this one, much to my regret… (Of course, you shall be compensated for it-)”

“WHAT.” Silver and Sebek grabbed the seat, and with much bickering, started carrying it out of the Guest Room. I tried stopping them, but Lilia stepped between us, rubbing his eyes.

“Look, I won’t even sugarcoat it this time. Malleus is OBSESSED with that chair. (I don’t even know the last time he CAME to Diasomnia…!) We won’t DESTROY it, but at the very least, would you mind if we took it to our dorm!? We’re all getting worried for him…”

“I…” Honestly, I didn’t want to get rid of the seat, since it looked GREAT in the room… But admittedly… I was getting worried, too… (He’d even stopped attending his OWN club meetings. Unless it was classes, I never saw him leave Ramshackle recently…) “... Yeah, just… At least ASK before you start carrying it out next time, alright?!”

“Very well, I shall make a note of it!” There was a crash in the hall, both of us wincing at Sebek’s cry. “I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU BOYS TO BE CAREFUL!!!”

He ran out to the hall, and I went to work, planning on what I would replace the chair with…

-----------

“(...[Name].)” A hand shook my shoulder. I groaned, swatting it away. “([Name], please wake up. This is a matter of the utmost importance…)”

“(Mmgh… Malleus…)” I was too exhausted to even open my eyes after crafting all day… “(What is it…?)”

“(My chair. Where is it?)”

“(... Your chair…?)” I rolled over. “(Lilia took it to Diasomnia…)”

“(... What.)” He shook my shoulder again, slightly more frantic. “(Child of Man, what do you mean Lilia took it?!)”

“(Malleus, it’s too early for this…!)”

“(How could I possibly SLEEP after this revelation, [Name]…?!)” … Alright, no sleep tonight, it seemed!

“(Alright, alright! Gimme a minute…)” I felt the invisible claws of my bed struggle to drag me back down, but I persisted, managing to escape. Even with blurred vision, I could see how Malleus clutched himself, almost… Terrified. I just tossed on the first shirt and pants I found, before grabbing his arm.

“(Alright, let’s go back to Diasomnia.)”

“(... Thank you, beloved.)” The fireflies’ glow seared my eyes, making the already pitch-black of Diasomnia feel even darker… Even so, I could tell where we were, right outside of Lilia’s dorm. With a trembling hand, he knocked, lacking its normal security, and within a few minutes, it opened. The man looked completely dead, but not from sleep. (Really, his eyes looked shot from staring at a screen all night…

“... Hm? Milord?”

“Lilia…” Even his voice felt shaky compared to normal. “... Did you steal my chair?”

“What…?” Malleus tensed. “... Oh! Oh, your armchair, that… Yes, it’s in your room… (Did no one tell you?)”

“No. No one did. It’s almost as if you think it wasn’t IMPORTANT enough to-” I nudged his arm. He winced, and bit the remainder of his words back. “... No, I was unaware, Lilia.”

“Ah, my apologies, milord…” Lilia rubbed his eyes, wincing from their dryness. “Now, is there anything else I may attend to-”

“Take it back.”

“... Excuse me?” Even I looked to Malleus in confusion, finding nothing but a stern glare.

“You did not ask my permission to move my chair. Return it to its rightful place, and I shall consider being merciful with your punishment, Vanrouge.” Lilia bluescreened, but before he could say anything, I grabbed Malleus’ arm, and dragged him down the hall.

“(Ah, [Name], what are you…?!)” I only stopped once we were a fair distance away, giving him a cross look.

“(MALLEUS, REALLY?! YOU’RE GOING TO PUNISH HIM OVER AN ARMCHAIR?!)” Just like his elder, he bluescreened, but collected himself. He tried to glare, but he couldn’t muster it, pouting like a petulant child instead.

“(OF COURSE!!! He STOLE it!!! Normally death would be a far more suitable punishment for such a crime, but since he has taken care of me for all these years, I am willing to forgo such a thing-)”

“(DEATH??? DEATH, MALLEUS???)”

“(... I don’t see the problem here-)”

“(Okay, then let me spell it out for you.)” I pointed at Lilia’s direction. “(Lilia MOVED the armchair I gave him PERMISSION to move, and you think he should be killed for that-)”

“(YOU GAVE HIM PERMISSION TO MOVE IT?! WHY IN THE SEVEN’S NAME WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!)”

“(Because, quite frankly, I’m CONCERNED. We BOTH WERE.)” His eyes widened, and his ears perked high from shock. “(Malleus. When was the last time you were in your room? Don;t you DARE say tonight, because if you WERE, then you would’ve KNOWN where your chair was.)”

“(... Well…)” He was silent, ears lowering each and every second. “(... Will you be cross with the truth-)”

“(I’m already cross. Holding it back’s not gonna save you.)” He avoided looking at me.

“(... The day after you bestowed it upon me-)”

“(MALLEUS THAT WAS WEEKS AGO!!!)”

“(I COULDN’T SLEEP, [NAME]!!! Thinking of somebody else sitting on it… Just the mere THOUGHT of it infuriated me!!!)”

“(So isn’t Lilia doing you a favor then by bringing it to your room???)” He frowned, crossing his arms, and said nothing. “(... I think you should apologize-)”

“(I’m not apologizing for that man stealing MY belongings, whether it benefits me or not.)”

“(Oh my god…)” I couldn’t understand it. This wasn’t even the FIRST time Lilia had taken something of Malleus’ to move or fix without permission. It was a daily thing, with both him, AND his servants… “(... Okay. Let’s take a deep breath, okay?)”

“...” He huffed.

“(I want to understand where you’re coming from, Malleus.)” I’d been with him long enough that I could notice the smaller reactions of his body. Though he seemed unphased, his eyes flickered over for just a second. “(...Let’s take a breath in three… Two… One.)”

“”(... Hmm…)”” He took a deep breath alongside me, “”(... Haah…)”” A slight burst of smoke burst from his lips, and with it, his entire body relaxed. “(... Are you content, [Name]?)”

“(Yes.)” I smiled, and he fought to hide his own. “(Now, could you try and explain to me why you’re so upset about the armchair?)”

“...” He clutched his body tighter, and for a moment, I was sure this would go unsolved. “(... It is one of my treasures… Why WOULDN’T I be furious at someone laying their hands on it…?!)”

“(... Treasure…)” The word rang a bell… I remembered a long time ago, when we had been spending time in Diasomnia together, and only recently gotten together…

---

“... Whoa…”

I’d gotten lost, trying to find the restroom (which I found!! … But then I couldn't find Malleus…), and while I knew for sure this room was FAR from my destination… Well, I couldn’t help but awe at the sight before me…

The large, abandoned room was covered in wealth. On its walls were gilded frames with fantastic paintings, lined with countless gemstones, and even the furniture itself seemed to be expensive antiques from an era I couldn’t even imagine seeing… That was to say nothing of the elaborate chests along the walls, the bookshelves filled with thick, embossed tomes from long ago, and… Well... The pile of gold coins that sat in the far back, an occasional ingot or the like gleaming bright within the pile… I stepped inside, quietly closing the door behind me.

“This is amazing…!” Of course, it (seemed, at least) to lack the abundant wealth of Scarabia’s own treasury, but there was a sense of class and dignity to this that managed to feel even more luxurious… I ran my hands along the books, finding them perfectly clean of dust, and along the smooth velvet of a couch, which was softer than the clouds themselves. “... I should go find Malleus…”

I had no idea what this room was, and really, I shouldn’t have snooped. I didn’t want to, but… I’d have to tell him. (If he was upset, he was upset, but it was better than keeping a secret like this.) I turned on my heel, and headed for the door.

“*... Shing…*”

“... Huh…?” I glanced back. It was nothing. Just a gold coin that slipped off the pile, but my eyes caught sight of something tucked behind it, back in the corner… It looked… Well. Out of place in the room. There was a pile of what seemed to be old junk, things that I couldn’t even imagine having sentimental value… Hell, there was even a spindle there. It seemed in usable condition, but even cleaned and taken care of, there was only so much one could do.

“...” I glanced back to the door, and back at the spindle. “(... Ugh, what am I doing…?!)” I shook my head, and continued back, but right as my hand hovered over the knob, I froze.

“...” I turned back to the spindle. I couldn’t even see anything else in the room. All the gold and jewels felt incredibly dull to the machine’s dark wood. “I… I…”

… What was I doing here…?

… What am I STILL doing here?

All I’ve ever done was cause problems.

I know they’re all sick of me, who wouldn’t be.

Hell, even I’M sick of myself. All I’ve ever done was fuck up.

I wanna die… I wanna die, I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die why haven’t I died yet…?

“(*SLAM.*)”

They’re just tolerating me like everyone else back home did.

I should just do everyone a favor and die already.

They’ll get over me soon enough.

“([NAME]!!!)”

Touch it… Touch it touch it touch it I have to touch it it’ll fix everything so just TOUCH IT-

“...?!” A trembling hand snatched my hand, moments away from pricking the spindle. My head ached, and I felt completely empty inside… “W… What…”

“(... Haah…)” Malleus pulled me away, sitting me atop the sofa. I couldn’t meet his gaze, but even without seeing it, I could make out the cold sweat along his wrists, from where his jacket sleeve failed to cover it. “[Name]?! Are you alright?!”

“...” I… Hadn’t felt like that in a long time… Not since I was back home… It terrified me. “... Where are we?”

“This is… My treasury, where I keep my hoard…” His own voice trembled, and he tried not to focus on the way I clutched onto the cushions, ruining their perfect texture. “... The door should have been locked…”

“...” If he somehow DIDN’T hate me before, surely he did now… I really couldn’t do anything right, could I-

“-was terrified, [Name]...”

“... H-huh…?” He hugged me. It was like a huge weight fell from my shoulders, and I could suddenly see clearly again.

“I called out for you, yet you’d never returned! There are dangerous items in here, what if you had gotten hurt, or worse…!” He gulped. I couldn’t see his face, but the way his body trembled with each breath… I hugged him back, clutching onto his jacket as if my life depended on it.

“... Malleus… I…” I didn’t want to make it about me, but each second longer was beginning to make my head ache again… “... I wanna go back to Ramshackle…”

“Of course, anything you wish, [Name]...”

---

He’d told me that night, about his hoard. While the majority of it remained in the Valley, a “few” of his possessions had joined him during his tenure at NRC. Not even Lilia was allowed in the room without EXPLICIT permission, and though normally only his treasures were allowed in such a place… Well, a handful of dangerous objects were within as well. Some were simply weapons from long ago, while others were cursed objects kept under his watch, to ensure no harm came from them, though some… He just couldn’t resist the charm of.

… Though, that almost backfired. He’d told me since then, he’d gotten a chest to prevent any possible accidents from occuring again.

He’d ALSO told me that he was struggling to compose himself the entire time because I’d gone in and touched things. (Though he said it with a shaky smile, I had a feeling that if it had been anyone else, he would’ve been FURIOUS...)

… And that was why the chair was beginning to make sense now.

“(... So you consider the chair a part of your hoard, huh…)”

“(...)”

“(I’m not mad if you do… Just tell the truth. Please.)”

“(... I couldn’t take it from Ramshackle, not after how excited you were, seeing me sit in it that day…)” He sighed, looking at his feet. “(But… Ugh, it made me sick to my stomach with just Grim alone lounging on it… I can hardly stomach the thought of another laying their pathetic hands on it…!)”

“(... Is THAT why you’ve been canceling club meetings?? Because of Grim??)”

“(THAT WRETCH’S CLAWS ALMOST PIERCED MY THRONE!!!)” He paused, forcing himself to take another breath and calm down. “(... Apologies, if you’ll accept them.)”

“(I will, just don’t call him a wretch again, alright?)”

“(Thank you dear.)” There was a cough. We both looked over, finding Lilia gesturing for us to hurry up. “(... It may be cruel of me to ask, but… May I keep the chair in my treasury? I fear I will not be able to sleep if I’m not confident in it’s safety…)”

“(Malleus…)” I lightly bopped his arm (much to his mock offense.) “(Only if you apologize to Lilia, alright?)” He grimaced.

“(Please, haven’t I been humiliated enough today…?)”

“(APOLOGIZE.)”

“(I WILL, I WILL…!)”

I accompanied him for good measure, just to make sure…

-----------

“... Hello?” I knocked on the door to the treasury. “Are you there, Malleus?” It took a few moments, but the door unlocked, and peeked open a crack. A single, green eye peered through, and though it lit up at the sight of me, he refused to open any further.

“Ah, do you need something, [Name]?”

“Ah, just this!” Through the crack, I slipped an envelope. “I’m having a barbecue next Saturday, so I wanted to invite you in person!” His cheeks flushed red, and he eagerly took it from my hands with a smile.

“... Thank you, [Name]. I shall be sure to attend.”

“No prob!! Anyway, I’ll see you later, alright~?” With a wave, I turned down the hall of Diasomnia.

“... Wait…!”

“?” I glanced back.

“... Would you… Ah…” He glanced around, before opening the door. “... Would you care to join me, [Name]...?”

“Malleus, that’s…” I could already see how stressed he was getting, having the door open. “It’s okay, you don’t have to force yourself just because we’re dating-”

“I WANT you to join me, [Name], so please… Will you join me?” A part of me hesitated, remembering last time, but… He looked so terrified asking…

“... I’d love to, Malleus.” I quickly ran in, and not even a second later, the door was locked shut behind us. For the most part, the treasury looked the same as last time, save the dark chest in the far corner, and of course, the ill-fitting armchair situated right across the velvet couch. He took a seat, and with a smile, patted the spot next to him…

… Though, I had to admit… It was still painfully obvious seeing how tense he was the whole evening. (It still meant a lot doing something so intimate, though.)

Chapter Text

‘Are you awake, my love?’

The ringer scared the HELL out of me, but I quickly silenced it, staring towards the kitchen entrance in fear of Grim busting in at any moment… But eventually, it was safe. I quickly texted back, realizing a moment too late that I probably should’ve just ignored it.

‘What’s up, Mal Mal?’ The exact moment it was sent, he started his response. I placed my phone down, quietly opening the fridge and shuffling around the countless leftovers and produce for the very back… My hidden stash…

‘I grow weary of the night… Surely you’ll entertain me, yes?’ Cheddar, gouda, swiss… One by one, I took the tiny blocks of cheese and placed them onto the counter, before closing the fridge and typing back.

‘Depends on what you want. I have plans of my own, after all~’

‘So late? Pray tell, what COULD they be?’

‘... Hm~ Do I want you to know~?’ Yes, it was mostly teasing, but also I debated if I REALLY wanted to share my bounty… ‘... Ah, why not. I’m about to eat some CHEESE.’

‘... Cheese.’

‘Want some?’

‘... What kind?’ Really, I could say Kraft Singles, and I still feel like he’d accept, (albeit unwillingly.)

‘Cheddar, Gouda, and Swiss.’ Just like that, a single, green firefly landed on my nose. With a smile, I waved it off, watching as more lit up the dark room, until none remained, the only light remaining from the moonlight outside, and the green eyes sparkling bright. However, with a quiet, yet graceful snap of his finger, a nearby candelabra flamed to light, basking us both in its warm glow.

“... Much better~” Now in the light, I could see him. He hadn’t bothered to change, the man in nothing but his night robe (and I could imagine from past visits, nothing underneath,) and held in his hands a basket with goodies inside.

“Mal Mal, you didn’t have to!” He smirked, taking a bottle of wine and glasses out with great care, and placing them onto the table, a loaf of crisp bread and some cured meats next. With a wave of his hand, it all prepared itself, slicing into perfect slices and cubes as he pulled out a chair for me. I couldn’t deny it, I indulged myself, taking it with little fuss, and only regretted it a little when I saw how he puffed up in far too much pride for a single man, before taking his own seat.

“You have invited me, yes? It is only right that I bring delights of my own, for such an occasion.”

“Yes, but I only have cheese, and YOU brought a whole FEAST.”

“And will you complain of it?” He had me there.

“Jokingly, perhaps…~” I took a slice of bread, and a few cheese cubes.

“No, no, that won’t do at all…” With a firm pout, he rested against his hand, his robe doing little to hide what generously lay beneath. “I shall not be content until you are, [Name].”

“Oh, you…!” I grabbed a smaller cube, playfully tossing it at him.

“Ah…!” It bonked against his forehead, and with it, came an even more pressing pout. “(Such fowl manners…!)”

“It’s just us two, right? Besides, it’s not like I’m ripping the loaf apart like an animal or something~” He mumbled under his breath, before reaching for his own piece of bread, nibbling upon it with a flush. “All jokes aside, I’m having a great time already, Mal Mal. (I’m actually worried I’ll end up staying up too late…)” He grinned at that, fangs gleaming sharp as they pierced the poor crust. Minding his own manners, he finished the bite, and washed it down with a sip of wine.

“You speak as if such a fate is terrible, child of man…”

“Well, it is!!” I glanced at my own glass, the deep, rich liquid intoxicating from sight alone… But I looked away. “Even if it’s the weekend, Grim’ll probably wanna do something, and if not him, someone else, and it’ll be terrible if I feel seconds away from falling asleep the whole time…” He glanced at my glass, then back at me, quirking a brow as he took another sip.

“Perhaps, but you always indulge others, yes? You should allow yourself to be selfish and partake in luxuries, once in a while…”

“Hmph, with you, I feel like it’d become a bad habit.” I grabbed another piece of cheese, but before I could bite down, he set his glass down with a clink.

“Speaking of luxuries… I’ve yet to see you drink, not just tonight, but on countless others... Even with the gift I have brought, a vintage that others of your kind would spill blood for, you refrain. May I ask why?”

“Oh. Uh…” I avoided checking the bottle. Even if I believed him, I knew the age printed on would make me balk. “... I, uh… I don’t really drink…”

“I see…” I was glad he didn’t pry more (god forbid how much people had in the past,) but he did frown. “My gift was quite inconsiderate, then-”

“NOPE! NONE OF THAT!” I grabbed another cheese cube, but this time, he reacted in time, catching it right before it bonked him. “Don’t blame yourself for something you didn’t know!”

“W-well…!” He nibbled the cube, avoiding eye contact. “(... We’ve dined together with alcohol present on multiple occasions now… I should have picked up on your aversion-)”

“Should I chuck another cheese cube at you?”

“If you are prepared for the consequences of it-” Before he even finished, I grabbed a piece of Swiss and tossed it, watching as this time, he perfectly caught it in his mouth.

“WOW, and you were getting onto ME for manners~!”

“Dearest…” He held a finger up and swallowed it down. “I’m not the one who has been throwing cheese all evening. My sins are nonexistent next to yours.”

“Booooo!” He chuckled, grabbing another piece of bread, but piling meat onto this one.

“Howl all you like, but as Crown Prince, my word is the law.”

“Yes, buuuut~” I grabbed another cube. (This was beginning to become a dangerous and addictive pastime.) “As ruler of Ramshackle, MY WORD is law in this domain! You’re basically just a guest~”

“... Is that so~” I yeeted the cheese, yet a swift palm deflected it with ease.

“HEY!” He stood tall, the sleeve of his robe dipping just enough to reveal the curve of his shoulder, his perfect, smooth skin glowing in the moonlight…

It seems enough time had passed where his bites had healed. (Of course, he did heal quicker than me…)

“By your logic, dear Ruler of Ramshackle…” As he approached, his fingers ran along the old, scratched-to-hell oak of the table, his own claws threatening to leave more behind. “If I were to conquer this castle… Then I would become the rightful ruler, would I not?”

“Perhaps… But the way you’re thinking of would backfire politically, wouldn’t it?”

“Oh, true. Others would think ill of me… But such opinions aren’t worth my time, are they?” He stepped around, now standing behind me. Those very same hands came to rest at my shoulders, where my thin tank top did little to protect me from him. “I can simply crush them with ease, if need be… Of course, such meaningless troubles ARE still troubles, so perhaps we CAN settle this in a more… ‘Elegant,’ way…”

Suddenly, I was enveloped in darkness, unable to see further than the palm of his hand.

“Not even a blindfold, Draconia? You can’t expect to defeat me with just one hand…”

“Oh, please, I’ve pleasured you enough that I could EASILY break you with one alone…” However, there was a snap, and right as his hand was removed, a soft cloth wrapped around my eyes, comfortably, yet securely tying itself behind me. “... Of course, I plan to thoroughly break you, to ensure absolute loyalty once I take the throne, so I shall be needing both for that.”

“Really, now…” His hands ran along me, and soon enough, I could feel my clothes pulled away, silent tears my only clue as to their poor fate. “Are you sure you’re up to the task? After all, YOU’RE normally the one left broken by the end of the night.”

“(... Hm… Hahaha…~)” Another ribbon curled itself around my wrists, binding them tight behind my back, as two, large hands pried my thighs apart, spreading me wide for him. “Beloved… Do not underestimate how cruel I can be, simply because I am the one normally being punished.”

“And if I decide to, anyway…~?”

Suddenly, it was very, VERY cold.

“G-GYAH…!” Water… No, wine had been tossed onto me right onto my chest, and began dripping down my body. He snickered, and right against my collar, a hot, heavy tongue lapped along it’s wake. I tried pulling away, the contrast enticing, but jarring, yet I was held firmly in place.

“Do not forget, even rejected, this is a precious gift. If even a single drop is to escape, your punishment will be strict.”

“(Ah…)” I forced myself still, knowing that even testing his words could result in a night of agony.

“Good human…” Soft, yet freezing lips pressed right against my nape, and I did all I could not to jump. “Strange… I’ve already had a glass, yet this drink’s flavor seems far more rich…”

“I-is that so…?” Sharp nails grazed along my skin, a hand running along my sides with a gentle touch, giving a squeeze once he reached my hips. “Maybe it’s because you’re getting a bit drunk?”

“Oh, please, it would take more than one measly glass to get me intoxicated, love…” He kissed the shell on my ear, two fingers grabbing my chin, and turning my head to the side. “It must be you… They do say red wine pairs well with red meat, you know-”

“Oh SHUT UP, MAL MAL!!!”

“AHAHAHA~!!” Since I couldn’t use my hands, I bopped my head against his, ignoring his scoff of indignation. “Excuse YOU, HUMAN.”

“You are excused.”

“Wha-” I smiled, hearing him fumbled, before the air grew hot for a moment.

“Don’t catch Ramshackle on fire.”

“I WON’T!!!”

“I’m just making sure~!”

“Well, you have no need! I am a GROWN MAN, not a petulant child!”

“I’m sure Lilia has stories-”

“Shush.” With that, a finger pressed to my lips. “... Really… I try to be a cruel monster, and you ruin the moment with ridiculous outbursts… Just how is one supposed to keep the mood, [Name]??”

“Hey, I didn’t think the mood was ruined~” A finger tugged at my blindfold, and soon enough, I was face-to-face with his pout once more. “... Would throwing a cheese cube at me make you feel better~?”

“Of course not.” A pause. “(... On second thought…)” He hesitated, but plucked a single cube, examining it in the light, and lightly tossed it at me. It simply bounced off me, and landed pathetically onto the floor. “... Actually, that DOES make me feel better…”

“Great~!! … Now can we get back to the show~?” I raised my foot, poking the center of his chest and pushed him back. His face burst into color, yet he took it into his hands, nuzzling against it with a quiet purr.

“(... Perhaps I should simply leave you bound like this… Perhaps that would be a more suitable punishment that anything I could do…)”

“If you do that, you BETTER feed me my cheese then.”

“Have you been a good enough mate to deserve it~?”

“Of course, I’ve been nothing but a saint.”

“... Mm… That is objectionable.” I scoffed, but even if I wanted to stay offended… Well, from beneath his robe, I could see it, so hard and thick… His eyes twinkled in mischief, and soon enough, my vision fell to black once more.

“Ah, hey…” Chilled lips danced along my foot, a lazy waltz to my ankle, and further up, broad shoulders forcing my legs to part for the cruel beast.

“As I said… In due time, beloved…” His breath was hot, almost scorching against me, yet his lips were chilled more than ice as he kissed me with a smile.

“After all, I have to make you plead for mercy, first…

Chapter Text

I had never been much for religion.

Of course, this never meant I looked down on those who did… (Well, unless they used it as a shield for their horrible behavior. Those people are terrible.) But for me… Well, often I would simply smile politely, and give some vague answer.

“So you don’t believe in anything?”

“Oh, I didn’t say THAT… I’m just not worried about it at this point of life.”

“Would you consider yourself more this, than that?”

“Ah, I don’t know enough about any of those to really know.”

“Aren’t you worried?”

“Is there any sense in it?”

All sorts like it, some more polite, or some worse… But really, behind every non-committal smile, were emotions I couldn’t risk revealing, knowing if even one person heard, it could have catastrophic consequences if it was the wrong one…

Hatred.

Sorrow.

Longing. But not for salvation, but for something, anything…

The hatred of wasting so, SO many important years of my life, and for what? Nothing. Absolutely nothing, but severed ties, overwhelming fears, and what naught…

The sorrows of watching those around me outpace me, not even vague shadows of their past remaining, as I scramble to collect my thoughts, moments away from them collapsing in my hands once more, salted thick with my tears as I beg and plead, for answers of what I’ve done wrong, if I’d even DONE anything wrong…

The longing for death, for something, anything… Even the fires of hell, if they’d take me, to rid my life from existence, so I’d stop feeling these agonizing horrors… Nothing but my guilt-laced cowardice keeping me from ridding myself from it all…

… It was terrifying. Within the blink of an eye, it seemed to be over. What felt like an eternity of torture was over, and I remembered almost none of it. None of anything, really.

The person I was, never seemed to have existed, and the person I am, has no clue of who they were ever supposed to be. If there really was a god, or some other higher being… Why would he stand idly as I suffered? As COUNTLESS people suffered? Did he hate us? Abandon us?

The truth behind every smile was that… If there was some higher power up there… I couldn’t find it within myself to respect him. Hell, a part of me may even have scorned them, but even then… I couldn’t stop believing in SOMETHING existing…

Because the idea of being completely alone, without anything, was more terrifying than the loneliness I was already far too accustomed to…

“... [Name]?”

… But now… I could hardly breathe.

He towered above me, somewhere I could never reach, a heavenly glow that made even the deepest pitch of his feathers gleam with light, sparks of magic, of LIFE, that I wanted to reach out for, to clutch so tightly, that my hands would decay before they could escape…

But even they failed to compare to those eyes…

Brilliant emerald. A color of sin, of longing for what you could never have, yet they gazed upon me with love, as if they would give me all I desired, and more…

“... Ah…!” A hand caressed my cheek, and with no hesitation I leaned into it, closing my eyes, mournful despite the respite it brought.

“(Dearest… Are you well?)”

Praises, words of love, no, of worship was all I wanted to say. To clutch him tightly, the one of pure darkness, the only one to have brought the love in my life that I felt now, who despite my flaws, my magicless hands, has done nothing but love me without care…

“... I-I’m just… Impressed…!!!” Yet my throat struggled to even convey a tenth of it. “Your performance… It was…”

It was heavenly. I wanted to listen to it, over and over, until each and every note of his voice was carved into my mind, never to be forgotten and mourned, to soothe me even in my darkest moments.

“... It was…?” He took a deep breath.

“... It was amazing, Malleus…”

“... I see…” He smiled, a rare hint of color to his pale skin. “Forgive me for asking you once more, but I… Well, I admit it, I enjoy such praise, coming from your lips…”

“R-really now…?” For a moment, his smile contrasted all. It was sneaky, mischievous… Yet it failed to break the illusion. If anything, I simply found myself drowning deeper in his presence. However, it softened as we looked around, finding countless pairs around us waltzing together in the dimly-lit court.

“I do, but it may wait for later in the evening…” He took a deep breath, grabbing his mask. “The night is quite young… I understand it must be selfish, with how tired you must be from the day’s events, but…”

He stretched his hand out to me, my heart stopping in my chest.

“... [Name], would you do the honors of sharing even one dance with me?”

Without a moment’s thought, my hand took his, and just as tightly as I squeezed, he returned it, pulling me close.

Not another word was exchanged between the two of us, it didn’t have to be… Though I knew that this devotion of mine was unhealthy.

I was never a religious person, until tonight. But seeing the man before me, his cape fluttering akin to vibrant wings as he glided me across the dancefloor… There was no mistaking it. He was an angel, if not more, a miracle bestowed upon my undeserving life, and I would do any and all he asked, if it meant nothing but his unconditional love…

And… If he wasn’t an angel, but in truth a devil in disguise… Then I would follow him to the depths of hell, if it meant that I would be the only one by his side, forevermore…

Chapter Text

Hello, this is HowAreYouGoodPerson/DivusButter. I wish this was a positive update, and there hopefully will be one soon, but I have an unfortunate announcement to make. Someone asked this question on another fic, so I decided to copy/paste the response onto this, and the Leona Collection as well, since these are my two, most popular stories at this time.

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I recently learned that there is a group of people who have claimed to be using Ao3, and as an extension, user's stories, into an A.I to train it. (As someone who is also a digital artist, you can imagine how exhausted I am about this... Especially because I'm almost done with another fic I was REALLY looking forward to sharing...)

While I do not know every single detail, I have decided to limit all my fics to only Registered Users at this time. I... REALLY don't want to. I understand nowadays it can be difficult to get an Ao3 account, and that there is probably a decent chunk of my Readers who don't have one. That being said, even if I'm not the most professional or best writer, it's still MY writing, and I do not want it used in any form without my consent.

From what I've heard, Ao3 staff is currently investigating the matter. Hopefully a solution will come swiftly, but until then, I'm going to consider whether I feel comfortable enough unlocking my stories or not. I... Wish I could at least make a poll or something, but the best I'd be able to do is hold one on my Twitter, but I'd personally rather not...

The closest I can think doing is that if you have a friend who isn't a registered user that really enjoys reading these unlocked, if they are comfortable to reach out and let me know on my writing accounts, while being respectful. If there is a high volume of readers, I may reconsider this decision before any official statement is made. Even if I write for myself first and foremost, I still enough sharing my stories with others. After all, sometimes, in a sea of Five-Star cuisine, you just want a microwavable TV dinner, and I have plenty of those here, 😂

Once again, I'm very sorry for the current situation, and I hope you have a nice day/night.

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Chapter Text

Sleep was a fascinating thing. It was something he needed little of, yet still brought him relief when he’d succumb to the occasional, rare dream… Or could they be called rare nowadays? Since arriving at this school, no, since meeting [Name], they’ve become far more common than other times in his life…

Not just about them (though there were mornings he awoke, flustered and ashamed, knowing that if he glanced beneath the sheets that evidence of his dreams remained,) but about countless things. Simple moments enjoyed with his family, a day’s encounters… And on the rare occurrence, a farce he simply couldn’t explain, despite the countless words he knew…

… But of course, alongside dreams, came none other than nightmares, and those had also begun plaguing him as late.

Someone leaving his side, others he cared about being hurt… Despite the tremendous power that flowed through his veins, he found his throat dry, unable to even scream no matter how he clutched at it. His tears seared across his flesh as if made from molten iron, yet it meant nothing to him.

He could never remember them. But he remembered all-too-much.

The only mercy the dreams gave was his awakening. He’d find himself alert, chest heaving, and staring into the roof of his bed. The sheets would be slick with chilled sweat, and torn from his terror, yet not a soul outside the bedchamber would know…

He was too terrified to scream, or even wail. It meant he was alone, he always was, but it was better for his pride to simply lay there, and calm himself, than to whimper for Lilia’s aid as if he were a young child again.

… That being said… Another, horrid curse of said dreams was his instincts. Akin to dogs running in their sleep, or humans talking aloud within their dreams, on occasion, his own body would react to the non-existent realities. If he were a young boy once again, and feeling shy? His tail would unfurl, and wrap around his leg, a feeble attempt to make him seem smaller. A memory from Masterchef, where he ate a particularly tough steak? His fangs would sharpen, his poor pillow being pierced in place of the tough meat.

Therefore, it only made sense that when he felt helpless and afraid, more of his draconic side would appear like tonight. Deathly fangs and claws, pitch-colored scales along his skin… In this bed, specially curated for his height in a more human form, he could now hardly fit on without curling his body close. (His tail, however, could only limp helplessly off onto the floor, occasionally smacking against his desk.) Honestly, it was a complete surprise his wings hadn’t opened, as well.

… Normally, it was a simple fix. Simply calm down, and then revert back to his other form. Fix whatever else was ruined, and then speak not a word of tonight to anyone… Simply go about the day like normal, and pray that the next night’s sleep would be peaceful.

However, clearly the Great Seven were feeling rather sadistic today.

“... Such rotten luck…” To most who looked upon him now, he’d look different. Even if most of his traits were reduced, they still lingered in some form. That wasn’t what he was worried about, however. Malleus sighed, placing his hand firmly on his lower stomach, where a slight bulge, unnoticeable to other eyes lay. He winced, feeling something move within, and took a seat on his bed.

See, one benefit to his human body was regarding eggs. As he came from one, he was capable of laying one. Whenever his heat would come around, there was the chance that his body, desperate to procreate, would supply him with the dreaded things. In his true form, there was no helping this. He would either have to mate (out of the question,) or let them pass on their own time, which could take days, or even the whole period… Leaving him unable to do anything but lay in bed, miserable… Of course, he could simply try and get it over with, but THAT was a horrific process he wasn’t exactly eager to try again… The only other option were medicines, and that was it’s own form of torture…

However, in a human form, his anatomy was JUST different enough that it confused itself, and would simply forget to make them. He’d simply have to deal with his heat itself, and even the worst were far easier to manage alone.

… Yet it seems those few hours of terror last night were just enough for his body to remember.

“... I truly must have been a monster in some past life to warrant such cruel fate…” He fell back, grimacing at the soaked sheets upon his clammy skin. The last thing he wanted to do was move. He just wanted to curl up in a dark corner, and wither away in misery… But he needed to prepare, the eggs weren’t fully developed yet. The sooner he had a nest, the better his nerves would feel, and he had a LOT of work to do. Quilts needed to be fetched and spritzed with his cologne to help scent them, and one of [Name]’s own, if they were willing…

“... [Name]...”

He hadn’t told them about his upcoming cycle yet. At first, he’d regretted it, but now he was thankful. Having them see him in such a state would have been… Humiliating, at the very least… Oh, the things they would say to him!

‘Malleus, that’s… Weird…’

‘I’m sorry, I… I don’t think I can do this, it’s too much…’ He covered his eyes. Even if they were but mere illusions, and false ones, the fear was still bringing tears to his eyes.

‘How many are there…?!’

‘Well… Maybe I could try taking one…’

“Ah…!” The last thought that snuck in made his heart pound, desire flickering in his lower half. Even though he was alone, he still grabbed his quilt, pulling it over him in shame. “... No. Thinking like that is dangerous…” He took a deep breath, trying to think of anything else. Schoolwork, princework, politicians who he hated…

‘A-ah…! You’re so big… I’m gonna break…!’

‘Don’t stop!! Don’t stop!!’

‘Please, give me your clutch, Malleus…!’

“... Mmmgmhm…!” He was sweating again, but for a completely different reason. All his efforts were in vain. All he could think about was [Name]... Warm, inviting thighs spread apart, for him, for HIS eggs… Surely, they could take just one… He’d be sure not to fertilize it, just one…! “... Damn it all…!”

He checked the clock. It was still night. No one would come for hours…

“... Forgive me, [Name]...” He slipped a hand beneath the sheets, and soon his boxers, until it found the slit normally hidden to all but his eyes. “For having such… Lecherous thoughts of you…”

He dipped his fingers between the folds, already finding it disgustingly wet. It seems that in the short time he has known them, he’s become quite the desperate scoundrel…

“N-ngghn…” His cock twitched from where it lay on his thigh, yet he ignored it for now, biting his lip as he played with the folds, egging his ovipositor out. It was the one that ached, so his cock would simply have to hold off for a little longer. “Just once… Only once…”

It felt as if centuries had passed before the head finally decided to slip out, and even longer for the rest to come alongside it. The appendage lay flat against his stomach, right atop the source of all his problems… For a moment, he just sat there with a huff, staring down to glare at the thing. It was a subdued, lavender hue, with a similar texture to his scales, but not quite as harsh… As he grasped it, he would compare it more to tough, yet malleable flesh, rather than the human skin and hard carapace that trailed along his shaft.

“... That’s all I need…” He let his head fall back against his pillow, and closed his eyes. Unfortunately, it took mere moments before the false image of [Name] returned to him, flushed and desperate. Their soft, [color] eyes looked up at him in tears, and it was all he could do not to whine.

‘Malleus…!!’ They clutched onto him, breath heavy and labored. One of their hands moved to their abdomen, pressing lightly against it. ‘I… I can feel it…’

‘How does it feel, beloved?’ He jerked his hand along the ovipositor, biting his lip. The sharp taste of copper did nothing to deter him as his cock twitched, desperate for the same treatment.

‘Different… A good different…’ Of course they could take an egg, they were amazing, they could do anything, his darling, his treasure, light of his life… ‘I think… I can take a few more…’

“Haaa…aaah…!” He hadn’t intended to imagine that, but now his cocks throbbed in raw desire. “They could… I know they could…!” His body wasn’t ready to deposit his eggs, but it wanted to… His stomach cramped in a pain it shouldn’t feel yet, and he knew at this rate, there was no way his hands alone would be enough. Nevertheless, he brought his other hand down, grabbing his long neglected cock, and using the fluids from his sheath, rubbed it alongside the other. “They would be… Such a lovely mate…!”

He was terrified to imagine it… After all, there would be no going back. All the times he could write off his hopes and passions as nothing more than desperation for one’s attention would be no more, and he’d be forced to confront the truth…

He was endlessly, and hopelessly smitten with them.

“... A… ahhh…!!!” Malleus rolled over, and buried his face into the mattress. He wanted them. He wanted them so bad… Even if he had to sit here and deal with this torture, even if they mocked him as he sobbed, as long as they were here, it would all be alright… “[Name]...!”

He snatched his pillow, quickly adjusting the giant cushion so he could wrap his legs around it, and rutted his hips against the soft cotton. It was awkward and horrifically humiliating, but better, more ‘natural’ than using his hands.

“Haaa-aaah…!” He buried his face into it, praying that no one could hear his cries… Despite that, he couldn’t stop thinking of them, of claiming them, LAYING them… The eggs, they would look unfathomably stunning, filled with HIS eggs and in HIS nest. He wanted it, NEEDED it so bad…!

“... Mmm…gh!” He bit into the pillow as he came. Instead of their rich blood, his mouth only tasted of cotton, ripping him back into reality as he came, body twitching helplessly as he came down from his high, unable to do anything but labor for breath and tremble in his own disgusting mess…

“... Splendid…” He buried his face into the pillow again, ignoring how the feathers spilling out tickled his skin. “Now I just feel worse than I could possibly have imagined…”

Despite the fog still clouding his mind, desperate to dive into a deep sleep, he forced himself out of bed. Even if it would be a few hours before anyone were to wake, it was best he fixed as much of this mess as possible…

Otherwise, he would have FAR too much explaining to do…

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He’d just finished taking all the filthy sheets off his bed and into the basket when someone knocked on the door.

“Who is it?” He already knew who it was, based on the cheery knock.

“Lilia Vanrouge, as usual!”

“Are there any in your company?” There was a pause of silence.

“No, milord… But tell me, are you in need of someone?” Checking himself in the mirror (he’d only had the energy to toss on a loose shirt and slacks, he carefully opened the door. Though he trusted Lilia, he was wary of any who might linger in the halls. Upon seeing it clear, however, he opened the door just enough for the Vice to come in.

“Malleus…” Lilia pulled him down by the lapels, and held his face, examining it in the light. “Goodness me, you look terrible…!”

“I feel terrible, Lilia…” He gently shoved the elder’s hands away, and moved to his desk. Immediately, he began jolting down a list on the closest sheet of paper. “You already know I shall not be available for appointments during break.”

“Indeed.”

“However, due to… Circumstances…” He shuddered. “I am in need of further assistance.”

“Anything you wish, Lord Malleus!”

“Thank you, Lilia.” Giving just enough time for the ink to dry, Malleus slammed the parchment into the Vice’s hands. “I shall need these by TONIGHT at latest, and most importantly… Not a SINGLE SOUL is to know about this, understood?!”

“I understand, but…” Malleus’ eye twitched.

“But…?!”

“Milord, you can’t expect [Name] to NOT ask about you. You’re dating, for Seven’s sake!”

“ I-it would only be for a week! You could cover that much, yes…?!” The cross look Lilia gave was enough to kill a lesser being.. “Please… Just tell them something came up-”

“And then THEY’RE going to come surprise you with lunch, and see you like this! You two do this every single time!! It’s quite adorable, but in times like these, you should just be honest, Malleus!”

“I KNOW!!! … I know, I truly do…” He rubbed his eyes. “... You’re right… I shall call them, but if they ask you anything, just… Be vague, at least?”

“Very well.” Lilia grabbed the laundry basket, and headed for the door. “Is there anything else you need, milord?”

“... Ah… Yes, yes, actually…” Malleus laid back on his mattress, with nothing but his single, freshly cleaned (but forever disgraced…) pillow in his company. “I’d almost forgotten… I’ll need medicine.”

“The normal kind?”

“Yes, but also…” He took a deep breath, feeling his face grow hot. “The… Other kind, as well…”

“... Ah…” Truly, he wanted to perish. “Then I shall be swift, Malleus.”

“Thank you, Lilia…”

The door shut behind him, leaving him all alone… He looked at his cellphone, and grabbed it off the desk, examining how the cracks gleamed even in the dim lighting. He quickly unlocked it and pulled up his few contacts, fingers hovering over [Name]’s, yet he couldn’t force himself to tap it…

“... On second thought…” He tucked his phone away, going back to his original. “A letter shall suffice…”

That way, he could take some time to guarantee his words were clear and precise.

-----------

“... Malleus?” A knock on the door. Only two people dared to knock so whimsically upon his door, and he knew full well it was not Lilia’s voice. “Are you in there?”

… Ah. He had forgotten to write them… Malleus rolled over, and buried his face into his pillow. Not a single word was uttered from his lips, despite how desperately he wished to see them.

“... Hello…?” He tried not to even breathe, hoping they would leave… Only for his tail to smack against the desk. “Malleus…!!”

“... Go away…”

He felt like death. He woke up disoriented, and hardly able to drag himself to the bathroom in time to hurl. He didn’t even have the strength to drag himself back to bed. It was Lilia who found him, glass-eyed and curled into a ball on the floor, trembling in a pool of his own sweat and tears… The medicine worked, but it never agreed with his body. At the very least, it was quicker than the other options, and that alone made it worth it.

“... Can I at least give you something?” His tail swayed halfheartedly, not from lack of care, but just pure exhaustion. “Your heat should be starting soon, right?”

“... I never told you that…”

“I know. I’ve been keeping track.” His heart swelled in pride, knowing he truly had made the right decision, falling for them… “It’s nothing much, just a little care package… I figured since you didn’t say anything, you didn’t want my help, so I can just leave this outside the door if you’d like.”

“That… Will suffice, yes.” He wanted them so bad. He wanted them so bad, it hurt so bad… “Just… Leave it out there, and leave me alone, please…!”

“... Malleus…” He grit his teeth, feeling his eyes sting, the pain almost worse than the endless cramps that had seized his abdomen since morning. “Are you okay…?”

He couldn’t hold it in. It was pathetic, and even without a mirror, he knew he looked horrid.

“It hurts…” Slowly, the door opened. [Color] eyes peered into the room, widening in alarm as they met his. “It hurts so bad, [Name]...!” They slipped into the room, dropping their duffle bag to the side, and rushed over to him. Their hand on his face, despite how small it was, felt more comforting than anything else in the world right now.

“What hurts, Malleus?” He clutched his stomach, feeling the urge to hurl rising up again at the feeling of the eggs beneath. They were the reason he was in this whole mess… He wanted to pierce through the skin, and just tear them out…! “... Mal Mal, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong…”

“... It’s…” His stomach felt dry. If they left him right now, he really did think he would die. “... Eggs…”

“... Eggs?” He forced his hand onto theirs, afraid of their touch leaving. Even if they had wanted to, his tail slithered tight around their leg, making escape impossible.

“I took medicine to get rid of them… It hurts.” They grimaced, their other hand moving to run along his scalp. He could feel his eyes growing heavy, what little strength he had ready to flee.

“So it is like… Period cramps, or something like that?” He might’ve known what they were referring to, but there was a huge fog in his brain. He could hardly remember more than a few words, right now. “Okay, how about you describe it for me-no, actually, just tell me what you want me to do.”

“... Hold me.” He held tighter onto their hand. “Hold me, please… I don’t want you to leave me. I know it’s selfish, just… Don’t leave me…”

“Malleus…” Despite how terrible he must’ve looked, they kissed his forehead, right atop his scales. “You can be selfish, it’s okay.”

“It’s not.” They tucked his bangs behind his ears, kissing his cheek. “You’ve been so kind to me… I don’t deserve your pity.”

“It’s not pity, and you do. In case you’ve forgotten, you're also a sweetheart to me.” He looked into their eyes, so soft, so sweet…

The very same eyes he’s fantasized about in shame just the other night, brimming full of ecstasy.

“... I’ve thought about you.”

“... I do too…?”

“Not like that. Nothing like that…” He meant to die with his sins, yet he couldn’t stop himself from speaking, the guilt suddenly overwhelming. “Abhorrent things, things only some… Vile, depraved deviant would! I’ve even PLEASURED myself to them…” They choked, avoiding his eyes. “Someone so… DISGUSTING as me doesn’t deserve your love, [Name]!!!”

“... Uh… Okay, that’s, uh…” They took a deep breath, covering their face. A thick flush had overcome it, a sight he normally would have cherished only furthering the sickly hue of his own. “I wasn’t expecting this conversation today, uh…”

He’d expected them to yell at them, to tear him limb from limb for such treachery, yet they just sat there and awkwardly pet his head, taking great care around the base of his horns.

“... Dude, do you seriously like… Think I’VE never, uh… ‘Touched’ myself to you…???”

“... What…?” If he thought HE felt like death, suddenly, they looked just as bad.

“MALLEUS… You are SIX, SEVEN. AND HAVE HORNS. GIANT HANDS, TOO.” They covered their face in shame with their free hand. “There’s a REASON why I like playing with them… And that’s just in your HUMAN FORM…”

“... Huh…?” He wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry more, or cry more, but from joy this time.

“... Look.” They gave his hair a particularly hard ruffle. “You DON’T have to worry about that. Fantasizing about other people is normal, okay?” [Name] huffed, and shuffled in their seat, abiding eye contact again. “And if you still feel bad… Just know that I’ve done the same thing, okay? I’m the LAST person who could judge you… (Just… Don’t look at my search history…)”

He had no idea what that last part was, but he couldn’t find it within himself to care…

“... [Name]...” He leaned against them, their touch soothing his soul down to its core. “Thank you… I mean it, dearest…”

“You don’t have to thank me… Just… Don’t blindside me with something so embarrassing again, okay? Just give me a warning, first…” He buried himself into the crook of their neck, simply content to hold them close, despite the awkward position. “I think you’re a bit emotional right now, so just try to focus on relaxing, okay?”

“... Okay…”

It was perfect… Minutes had passed by, enough where even the pain that wracked his body began to dissipate. Muscles he hadn’t even realized were tense began to relax, trapping them further beneath his weight, yet they simply continued to pet him, keeping him grounded. He nuzzled into their skin, and by pure accident, took a deep whiff of their scent. It was home, familiar… It was…

“... Mine…” His body trembled, the dragon unable to resist gnawing on them. Desperately, he tried fighting the urge to pierce his fangs into the soft flesh to claim them, but it was quickly becoming a losing battle…

“Hey now.” He was gently pulled away by his hair. “Stop that. Not until you feel better.” His irises had grown sharp, all-too-focused on them.

“Grrr…” They huffed, and snapped a few times in front of his eyes. Slowly, he blinked, irises growing less feral.

“... Ah…” And like that, all his exhaustion kicked in again full force, the only evidence of his instincts being the flicker of heat in his stomach. “... Thank you, dearest…”

“No problem.” They kissed his forehead again. “Anyway, how’s your stomach feeling?”

“... Mm…” He closed his eyes and focused on the pain. It was still there, but it had subsided a bit, far more manageable than before. “I shall live… Until the next egg, at least…”

“... What do you mean…?” Malleus released them, and rolled onto his back, grimacing at how sore his body felt.

“Each dose of medicine only destroys one egg… If I’m not careful and take too many, it could cause harm to my organs…” He pointed to his desk, where a few, tiny bottles of elixir lay in a candy dish. “So to be safe, I only take one per day.

“So… How many eggs are left…?” He sighed, shoving back his bangs, drenched with sweat.

“This clutch?” He placed a hand on his stomach, beneath his shirt. He closed his eyes, feeling around his stomach, and wore an expression of pure misery. “... It seems there are four more, unfortunately...”

“... I’m sorry, FOUR???” His ears lowered. “I’m not upset or anything, I just… That seems ABSURD!”

“Well…” He paused, almost reluctant to continue. It wasn’t until they took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze that he relaxed. “Normally at most, I only have three eggs per clutch. Fate just seems particularly cruel to me, as of late…”

“You’re telling me…” This was… Nice. Unexpected? Yes. Something he’d regret later at night, thinking about how pathetic he must’ve acted ten minutes ago? Oh, it would haunt him for the rest of his life… But nice. “You know… If you want, I can come by. It’s break, and Grim’s been BEGGING me to go to a Pro Spelldrive tournament with the others…”

“... Don’t tease me…”

“I’m not! I’m being serious!” He met their eyes. “I’ll let him go, make some excuse about needing to catch up on work, and then we can cuddle while you try getting over this…”

“... Really?”

“Yeah, really.” They kissed his hand, and smirked. “And THEN if you’re up for it, I’ll let you claim me…~” That same, horrible heat from the night before flickered back to life, much to his regret… He shut his eyes, and did his best to think of anything… Schoolwork… Princework… Even a politician he hated…

“... Malleus?” He thought of one particular noble from home, who made flames flicker within his throat at the mere sight of them… And then he smiled.

“Apologies, dearest. I… Still feel a bit light-headed, it seems.”

“Are you sure, because it looked like you wanted to commit murder for like five seconds.”

“... You were imagining it.” He yanked them close, giving no room for debate. “As for your proposition… I’m looking forward, to it, my treasure~”

He wasn’t looking forward to the week. He never would. But at least now, it felt that it would be a bit more bearable… And if he were lucky? It’d be that way for the rest of his life.

Chapter Text

The Scalding Sands had been a blast, but like all good things, they had to come to an end… At least in this case, it was an extremely luxurious one!

A giant room… A bed softer than clouds I could stretch my whole body on… There was even a giant flatscreen in here! And an even bigger TV in the lounge not far from here!!! In fact, Kalim had suggested we all have a movie marathon, which sounded like it could be lots of fun! I just wanted to brush my teeth and everything first. Since we weren’t planning on having snacks, (a plan I hope hadn’t changed, otherwise I would look like an idiot,) I wanted to get it out of the way just in case I forgot.

“*... PWFT!*” I turned the sink back on, cleaning off my brush and all the toothpaste in the sink, before reaching for the tiny, [color] case next to me. I’d triple-checked to make sure I wouldn’t forget it. Even if it wouldn’t have hurt, there was the chance I could start slacking once we returned to campus-

“Hey-”

“FUCK!!!” Somehow, Trey had sneaked in from the shadows. “... TREY!!! WHAT THE HELL, DUDE?!?!”

“Ahaha, sorry, sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!” He’d also gotten comfy, dressed in a basic, two-piece pajama set. “You were taking a bit, so I just came to check up on you-”

“I don’t believe you.”

“... Pardon?” I crossed my arms, giving my strictest glare.

“You think I haven’t heard about all the teeth stuff???”

“Aha… Ha… Ah, Ace and Deuce were just exaggerating-”

“Trey, I’ve heard about it from ALL of you!!! Even Riddle a while back mentioned that you lent him like, FIVE toothbrushes when he realized his was getting worn-”

“Speaking of worn toothbrushes-” His eyes narrowed in on mine, resting in its holder. “Yours is looking a little worse for wear… When was the last time you replaced it-”

“Doesn’t matter.” Now HE glared. Under its weight, my soul felt like it was being crushed… “... I don’t remember, alright?!?! Do you realize how hard it is to keep track of stuff in NRC?!”

“That’s not an excuse to neglect your dental hygiene.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a toothbrush, just like the kind in plastic you’d get from the dentist. “Here, and remember to mark in your calendar when you use it so you know when to replace it.

“... You know what? Sure. Thanks.” I accepted the toothbrush (it was quicker this way,) and placed it with the rest of my stuff. “Now could you tell me why you’re actually here?!”

“... Ahaha… Well…~” He looked at me, yet I knew… I could feel that gaze fly right past me, looking instead at the [color] case on the counter. “I overheard someone say you had a retainer, a few weeks ago… And since we’re on this trip together, I couldn’t resist asking… is that true?”

… He knew. There was no point in lying. Even if I did, he’d find a way to wrangle the truth from me regardless…

“... Yeah, it’s true…” I snatched it off the counter, the piece of plastic clinking against the sides. “I had one back in my old world, but since that didn’t come with me, I had to put some money aside to get a new one in town… I was TRYING to keep it a secret, since I don’t want anyone trying to mess with it, but SOMEONE found out anyway, huh?!”

“It wasn’t my intention, I assure you!” That wide grin told otherwise.

“... Is that all, Trey?”

“... Well…” His eyes wandered over the counter. “I couldn’t help but notice… That you weren’t planning to floss before putting it on…”

“Ugh…” Yep. I knew it. I was never going to make it to the lounge. “In my defense, I DO floss. I just forgot my picks at home…” All the tension left his shoulders.

“Good. Many people neglect flossing, and it can lead to bad health in the future!”

“Yeah! Thanks for looking out for me, though!” Now was my chance… Butter him up, and escape!

“Ahh, no problem. It’s my job as an Upperclassman!” He reached into his pocket, and with the cruelest grin I’d ever witness, he pulled out a pack of… Floss… “So AS an Upperclassmen, I’m obviously prepared for times like this!”

“... Seriously?!”

“What, you think Ace has never tried that? Or anyone else, for that matter?” He slid the floss towards me, before pointing at my case. His eyes glittered in fascination, as if he were looking at gold. “... Also… You wouldn’t mind if I had a look at that, would you…~?”

“... Dude…” I took the floss, knowing there was no escaping this fate. “You DO realize how weird this is, right…?”

“What’re you talking about? It’s like asking to see your friend’s dog, right?”

“NO, IT IS NOT.” Even so, I passed him the case. I swore his hands trembled just the slightest as he popped it open, revealing the clear piece of plastic within, a perfect replica of my upper teeth.

“(... Amazing…!!!)” I quickly snapped off a piece of floss, and carefully, yet quickly ran it along my back teeth, needing to finish before he noticed me. The case was placed back on the counter as he held the retainer to the light, admiring how the light shone on each of its curves and divots. “... Did you ever have braces, or just this?”

“... Ahhhhhhhh…” … I could see his eyes watching me… Waiting for me to floss my front teeth… I took the string out and pulled my best smile. “Y-yeah, actually!!! I had them for a couple years, before getting that! … Don’t ask me about the rubber bands…”

“Ah, yeah, the rubber bands… I’ve heard stories of them.”

“Yeah! They were just the WORST!!! I even skipped school once because my mouth hurt so bad…” I tossed the floss away and snatched the plastic back. “Anyway! The others have been waiting on us, so we should go ahead and-”

“You didn’t floss your front teeth, [Name].”

“... Uh… Well… I did, actually, you just didn’t see!!!”

“Nope. I watched you the whole time.”

“... Dude, SERIOUSLY. We’re in an entire school of clowns, yet you’re somehow going for the CROWN, right now!!!”

“It’s important…!”

“And I’m a grown adult, so don’t baby me…!!” Neither of us moved, at a complete standstill… I could put my retainer in, and try to force myself through, but I knew if I did, he would find another excuse to instill the fear of good hygiene within me… God, the man was mad enough to hold a mandatory dorm CLASS about it, and then Ace and Deuce would force me along since he’d ‘accidentally’ imply it was my fault, and we’d be right back here again, but with prying eyes, this time…!

Oh god… What if Cater took an awkward selfie and posted it online…?! I’d NEVER recover from that!!!

“... Okay, look.” He said nothing but raised a brow. “I CAN’T floss my front teeth with this. I also have permanent retainers. The actual floss wouldn’t get very far before hitting the metal. That’s why I use the picks, so I can get plaque and stuff that way… So can we PLEASE go now…?!”

“... You have permanent retainers.”

“Yeah. Got ‘em on my top and bottom teeth. That’s why I only flossed the back teeth.” He was silent, taking a moment to adjust his glasses. Even if the stakes were nowhere near as dire as Overblots, it filled me with the same dread as one…

“... Can I see?”

“... You know what?” I placed my retainer on the counter. “I should’ve known you were going to ask that. Sure. Why not. Go wild, Trey.” Surprise, surprise, he pulled a dental mirror out of his pocket, alongside a pair of gloves. “... Something tells me you were hoping for this…”

“A little…~”

“... Alright! Let’s at least get comfortable if we’re gonna do this!” I moved to the bed, lying flat on it. “You get three minutes. MAX. Whenever I say we’re done, we’re DONE.”

“Got it.” The gloves were already on, and a nearby cushion was swiped for himself. I raised a brow, finding a surgical headlight now on him.

“... Okay, genuine question. Did you really bring that on vacation with you just for this…?”

“This?” He tapped on it with a prideful smile. “Oh, not particularly. I just happen to bring all my dental gear everywhere, just in case.”

“... What could you POSSIBLY need that ‘just in case’ for???”

“Ah, ah!” He tucked a pillow beneath my head for better support and viewing. “Teeth now! Open wide!”

“Ahhhhhh.” I made sure it was as deadpan as possible, but I did open wide. Even if he wasn’t a dentist, I DID pride myself on dental visits and getting a clean bill… (... Actually, now that I thought about it… Maybe we WEREN’T so different…)”

“... You weren’t kidding…” Though I couldn’t feel it, I could vaguely see the mirror, watching as he moved it so it caught the light of his lap, highlighting the thin wire that contrasted against the enamel. “I’ve never seen any before… The few students we have with retainers only have the clear ones…!”

“Ahh. Ahhh ah ahhn???”

“Haha, yeah. I suppose it WOULD be a silly thing to lie about!” Despite the absolute insanity of the situation, I was completely relaxed. After all, I knew he wouldn’t do anything to mess anything up, so it just felt like a normal trip to the dentist. After a while however, he placed the mirror to the side, fiddling with his hands…

“... Yes, you can touch my teeth.”

“... Was I so obvious~?”

“Extremely, and you got a minute left.” Without prompting, I opened my mouth wide again. After just long enough that I was settled, a delicate touch ran along the wire, and strangely enough, it was a little ticklish when his fingers grazed my gums…

“This is phenomenal work… My praises to your orthodontist!”

“Ahhh!” I glanced at the closest clock. Only a few more seconds, and-

“*Knock, knock*” Before either of us could mutter out a word, the door opened. “[Name]... Pardon my intrusion but-”

Malleus froze at the sight of us. Me in bed, with Trey’s hands deep in my mouth… (Honestly, that had to be QUITE the sight.)

“... Ah… Draconia…” Slowly, Trey pulled his hands away, all-too-wary of how bright, serpentine eyes followed them with pure malice. “We were just…!” I sat up on my elbows, deciding to take matters into my own hands. (Seven knew Trey couldn’t…)

“Wanna see my retainers, Malleus?”

“... Pardon?” I waved him over and laid back down.

“My retainers.” Though wary, he locked the door behind him and approached the bedside, kneeling on the opposite side of Clover. “Not like. ‘Bodyguard’ retainers but like. Dental retainers. In my mouth.”

“... You have something in your mouth?”

“Yeah!” Trey relaxed, realizing he would survive to enjoy teeth for at least a few more years to come. “C’mon, glove him, Trey.”

“Gladly!” He whipped out a second pair of gloves, which were SOMEHOW Malleus’ exact size. The fae winced at their texture yet slid them on.

“Alright! Show him, Dentist Man!” I opened my mouth wide again. As Trey picked up the mirror, Malleus’ eyes zeroed in on it like a hawk, ready to attack if the Vice tried anything…

“... Hm…?” However, as the light shined on the wire, he squinted. “What is… That…?”

“Ahh aahhn!” His ears lowered, not comprehending a word. Trey just laughed and shined it off the other retainer next.

“That’s their retainer! It’s a thin wire glued to their teeth to help keep its shape after having braces removed.”

“... Braces…?” Trey removed the mirror, gesturing for Malleus to explore. It was a bit awkward, considering the size of his hands, but he could still comfortably fit a finger in their maw… He pressed lightly upon the wire, feeling a shock run along his spine, the exact same thing he always felt in more… Passionate moments with each other.

“Oh, they’re a tool to help realign crooked teeth. They’re also made of metal, but there’s a lot more of it than you see here.”

“Ahhhh. Ah ahhh ahn ah aahn…”

“They said ‘I couldn’t eat popcorn the entire time…’ Well, that’s the price of future health!”

“(... Metal…)” Despite his better judgement, he tapped the spot again, firmer this time, and felt a more intense jolt down his spine, yet unlike before, he could derive no pleasure from it, only dread. ”(... Metal…?!)”

… Iron was a metal. Even if it wasn’t pure iron, even something with trace amounts could still burn, were he exposed to enough of it without gloves or the like to protect him… Did that mean this whole time, when he’d run his tongue along their teeth, feeling that ridge he’d mistaken for human anatomy, that ridge that sent a spark of ‘excitement’ through his entire being… That was actually IRON?! He was BURNING HIMSELF THIS WHOLE TIME?!?! … Not just that, but they’d had a whole MOUTH of it?! His precious, his beloved… Their bite alone had been a lethal weapon for his kind…?

Just the thought of it… Rows of teeth, coated thickly with cold, searing iron, and pointed into sharp fangs akin to his own… And he’d have never noticed, until they were close, close enough to smell the harsh, chilling scent of it…

Too close where he would be unable to escape…

“... A-ah…”

Malleus collapsed onto the ground like a heap of bricks, unmoving.

“”MALLEUS?!?! (DRACONIA?!?!)”” No matter what they did, the man wouldn’t stir, completely unconscious, for reasons unknown to him…

(Really, the only thing they COULD do was drag him onto the bed, and get him some water for when he DID wake up…)

Chapter Text

The flowers were plentiful, no matter where your eyes gazed, and their fragrance strong, yet surprisingly delicate, surprisingly complimenting the deep, rich aroma of my coffee. Freshly brewed, without a grind akin to it anywhere but here… And my croissant? God, for a bread with such a difficult name, I would make a fool of myself hundreds of times over for even a single bite of its fluffy, heavenly buttery taste…

Truly, it all should’ve been heaven… But that’s what made it all so suspicious.

“... Alright. Out with it. Why did you arrange all this?” Rollo didn’t seem bothered by the venom in my voice, almost as if he… No, he was no fool, he HAD to have expected this. Even though the situation last Halloween had long-since been solved, there was no denying the resentment those who attended held towards him… (Save Azul, who’d STILL been trying to get Rollo’s endorsement for business ventures.) The man simply poured the faintest trace of honey into his own cup, the liquid gold quickly melting as it mixed into his tea and took a light sip.

Nothing more, a single sip, yet it only filled me with further suspicion.

“... As I thought, you expected an ulterior motive. Fair enough, I suppose.”

Though it was far from time for the Festival of Flowers, it seemed people were preparing for another occasion just as bold. It was one of the many reasons he’d used to “convince” the Headmaster to have me visit… Alongside a sugary, flowery slew of praises of how “wonderful” our students were, with hopes of further connecting our schools' relations for future occasions. Truly, everyone but him realized how fake it all was, but throw that man a kernel of corn, and he’d do almost anything for you… If it didn’t cost him money. (Hell, even TRIEN had suggested he come to chaperone, but the Headmaster waved him off and said it would impede his classes too much to be worth it…)

Rollo took another sip of his tea, eyes wandering around to nearby citizens, all carrying about decorations and the like. For a minute, I couldn’t help but let my own gaze wander, feeling a strange sense of homesickness, despite having no reason to…

“... It’s like they’re preparing for Mardi Gras, here…”

“... ‘Mardi Gras…?’ Is that a holiday in your own hometown?”

“... Ah, don’t worry about it…” I adjusted my shirt collar, feeling that I stuck out like a sore thumb further than before… Even though I wasn’t wearing anything particularly eye-catching, it was still obvious to the citizens I was a visitor, needing Rollo to explain countless things for me. “... Anyway! Back on topic!!!”

“Ah, yes, yes… Why I’ve invited you.” He looked annoyed, clearly hoping I’d forgotten. “It’s all a matter of convenience.”

“... To you?”

“To us both, or rather, our schools.” As he cleared his throat for the speech ahead, I finally allowed myself the luxury of reaching for the honey myself. “While I’ve no concerns of the Third Years, the Underclassmen are another matter entirely. Many will still bear grudges towards our institution, and as I will most likely be too busy with my studies to take the mantle of Student Council President next year, another student will be burdened with such problems. It would be ill-mannered of me to simply turn away and let them suffer such a fate.”

“... So you chose me? Let me guess, it’s because I’m the one without magic, so I can’t burn you to a crisp?”

“... That’s… Correct, but not for such a concerning reason…” He took another sip of tea to calm his nerves. “You are the most rational of their students, and even accepted my invitation to return with nothing but respect.”

“... You DO realize I was FORCED to come here, right?”

“You were? … My sincerest apologies, then.” He seemed… Completely genuine, oddly enough. “... While I am willing to acknowledge my actions last October were wrong, there is one thing I still, truly believe. Those with magic are blind to the plights of those without, and ungrateful for it. Even now, of the students who attended, I’m sure only a few of them have truly come to appreciate how precious it truly is to them…” He paused, thinking over his next words well, knowing even one wrong word would ruin everything.

“... That being said… I have thought on it, and now believe it would be better to teach those to appreciate such a gift, rather than eradicate it entirely. I’m sure my brother would prefer it as such, too.”

“... I see…” For just a moment, it was all clear… The way his normally rigid shoulders sagged, the bags I’d missed, from his sheer, stoic confidence…

“... Draconia. I still can’t say I care for him, at all, even, but there is one thing I’m willing to acknowledge… He seems to respect you as well, despite being an ordinary human. Living among only those with such gifts, who’ve looked down on you… To have them care for you as greatly back then, you must truly be something special… That is why we… No, why I am asking for YOUR assistance…”

Our croissants had long since grown cold, and for once, Rollo Flamm couldn’t look someone in the eyes.

“... Help me, to help our schools. Though it is not your role to help me atone, I would greatly cherish your wisdom nonetheless…” … This was it. The moment all Night Ravens waited for. To take an incredible moment of vulnerability, and either get pissy, or make a joke about it…

… Unfortunately, I wasn’t exactly a Night Raven, even if everyone felt that I was…

“... Alright. I think it’s worth a shot.”

“... I understand, I do thank you for-... Wait, pardon?!”

“Wha- did you REALLY think I was gonna say no???”

“... Ah…” He hid behind his handkerchief, looking away again, as if a nearby trash can was an angel (or Tsum) that'd descended from the sky. “... Perhaps.”

“... Unfortunately, that’s fair, considering the people I’m used to…” Really, I could only laugh, knowing that half the students would either fight him, or spite him. “... Alright! What were you thinking of?”

“... I will acknowledge, not much. I was not expecting to get this far…” That’s what he said, but from thin air, he placed a thick binder onto the table, flipping it open. “I believe the first matter of importance would be to build further ties among our schools.”

“Well, if you want to do that, you know Azul’s been wanting to chat with you for MONTHS.”

“Azul…? Ah, Ashengrotto.” I nodded, FINALLY taking a sip of my coffee. (It was… A tad too bitter, but I felt awkward about adding more honey after all this.) “Yes, yes, I’m very well aware, I’ve been declining all his propositions in case this somehow happened.”

“... Wait, so you’ve been whittling him down this whole time, basically???”

“Of course. I’m no fool, he wants what WE can get him, not the other way around, so why should I cave to his avarice further?”

“... Rollo Flamm…~” He rolled his eyes, and grabbed his handkerchief, but I could still see his smirk right behind it.

“Oh please, it’s not as if I am doing anything immoral. I am simply playing along to the whims of you Night Ravens. It’s the only way this plan will have any chance of succeeding.”

“Okay, okay~ Whatever you say~” I couldn’t claim to be much better, after all. “So we got Azul, and you could probably arrange some stuff with the Headmaster real easily too. I’d say that’s a good start.”

“Thank you. I’ve also been thinking, Noble Bell College has special courses that are not available on your own campus… Perhaps on holidays, we could hold special seminars for them?”

“Ooh, smart! It’d also be a way to help bring more traction for Noble Bell College, if you informed other schools of them too! You might even have some students willing to transfer over, if it peaks their interests enough!”

“... You truly think so?”

“Oh, I KNOW so, especially with how cool your campus is! Not just that, but the surrounding town has a charm completely distinct from Sage’s Island! If anything, I’m more surprised you guys DON’T have nearly as many students as NRC!!” He tapped his fingers along the table, before giving a polite smile.

“In that case… Since you truly love our campus… Why not transfer to us? Though we are also a magical institution, we would certainly welcome you with open arms, if Night Raven College was willing to do the same.

“... Yeeeah, no. I’m gonna have to pass.” I did think about it for a second though. Being able to get croissants everyday… Having an excuse to wear a beret… Hm…? Nah, no… Well, actually… “... Nope. Even if I wanted to, I have a feeling I wouldn’t even make it to the campus before getting dragged back.”

Even now, I could imagine it…

-----------

“... GYAH!” Azul shot up from his bed, a horrible chill down his spine. “Why does it feel like… A BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY IS LEAVING ME?!?!” He snatched his phone, speed-dialing Jade faster than Cater could write a MagiCam post. Despite the hour, it picked up immediately, though the brief “WHO THE FUCK IS CALLING YOU JADE” did not go unmissed.

“Azul. Give me a reason why we should not kill you-”

“JADE, GET ME THE LATEST SET OF PAPERS THE HEADMASTER’S APPROVED, NOW.”

“... It is two in the morning, Azul-”

“JUST DO IT!!!” He hung up before Jade could get another word in, and snatched his glasses , almost crushing them in the process.

---

A brief, and discreet knock.

“Azul, may I enter-”

“Yes, yes, hurry up!!!” As his door opened. Jade smiled, wearing none other than his uniform, prim and proper, with Floyd right next to him in a baggy t-shirt and surprisingly chic pajama pants. They both entered, making sure to lock the door behind them, and cracked their knuckles.

“Lovely, because we’ll be breaking your legs now-”

“AFTER!!!” Azul snatched the stack of papers from Jade’s hands, flipping through them like a madman.

“Oh…!” Floyd leaned over, clearly fighting for his life to stay conscious enough to lay the beating on.

“(Jade?? He good??)”

“(I’ve no clue, brother.)” Finally, he reached the last paper in the stack. His eyes flew over the words, once, twice, thrice, a thousand times, before collapsing to his knees.

“... Ah… aaaaah…” Seeing how Azul was seconds away from tearing the document from his sheer strength, Floyd wrestled it out of his hands, reading it himself. “... AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

“... HUH?!?!” This time, Jade took the paper from his brother. “THE HELL?!?! SHRIMPY’S LEAVING US?!?!”

“... For Noble Bell College, at that, it seems…” Jade sighed. “Pity, they promised to accompany me forging next week… They’re the only one who does, as well.”

“WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT YOUR MUSHROOMS, JADE?!?! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO SHOE SHOPPING ON WEDNESDAY!!!” Azul bolted to his feet, snatching both of their shirts.

“IDIOTS! DO EITHER OF YOU REALLY REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?!?!”

“Azul, you are hurting me.”

“Yeah, you got that mad octo grip right now.”

“... Apologies.” He lightened his grip, and took a deep breath. “... Now, do EITHER of you know what this REALLY means…?!”

“They’ve decided that not even transferring to Pomefiore was good enough for their grievances.”

“I gotta find a new shrimp to spite you guys with.”

“NO, and NO. What this REALLY means… IS THAT WE’RE GONNA LOSE OUR BUSINESS DEAL WITH THE CAFE THEY WORK AT!!!”

“... Ah.”

“So what-”

“DO YOU TWO REALIZE HOW MUCH MONEY WE MAKE FROM IT?!?! Students on campus will KILL over the cakes they sell!!! The only reason said cafe even AGREED to this deal despite all their recipes being trade secrets was because [NAME] KNOWS US, and as an extension, they have an employee to constantly witness our business practices, and therefore, constant reason to TRUST us!!! If THEY leave, THE CONTRACT GOES WITH THEM!!!” The two twins looked at each other, then smiled.

“How cruel, Azul… Even now, you can only think of Madol…”

“Hehe, yeah~! Hey, Jade, maybe WE should transfer over to NBC too-”

“OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!”

-----------

… You know, I don’t know WHY I thought of Azul first before literally ANYONE ELSE… Maybe it was because we were talking about him…? Though, honestly, somehow I feel like Azul WOULD have some weird, sixth sense if his money was threatened…

Either way, everyone would find out five seconds after, and I already knew most of the reactions would range from Rage(™), Heart-Wrenching Betrayal, or a simple “No. :^)” And I would never manage to step a single foot outside of Night Raven College ever again…

… But also maybe they WOULD finally realize how much I deal with on a daily basis… So maybe a small vacation wouldn’t hurt at least…

“... Should I be concerned by your grin?” Ah, shoot. I forgot, it was Rollo Time.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. Anyway, my situation’s just too complicated for transferring to work, though I might check out one of those seminars, if things work out!”

“A pity, truly… Though, no matter the reason, do know you shall always be welcome with open arms.”

“Thank you, thank you.” As I took another sip of coffee, I couldn’t help but overhear some muttering from a few tables over. Glancing over, I found two students in NBC uniforms I didn’t recognize, pointing at us.

“(Hey, is that Flamm?)”

“(No way… With someone else too?!)”

“(Do you think he’s on a date or something…?)”

“ROLLO?? Dude, don’t be ridiculous!)”

“(I’M SERIOUS!! Like, he’s not SMILING, but doesn’t he look… Well, kinda relaxed for once…?)”

“(... Man, if HE’S somehow got a partner before me, then maybe my love life really is hopeless-)” With a huff, Rollo slammed his cup onto the saucer, making the two gossips jump.

“... You two.”

“A-ah…!”

“Yes, President Flamm…!” Yet again, he was completely stoic as he left his seat, easily towering over them.

“As esteemed students of Noble Bell College, you both should know better than to make baseless rumors, not just of your colleagues, but of our guests.” Connecting two and two, the two gulped. “... As it is a special occasion, I shall overlook it once, but if this is to occur again, suitable punishment shall be made. Am I understood?”

“Y-yes, President Flamm!”

“Absolutely understood, sir…!”

“... Very well.” He waved them off. “Now enjoy the holiday, unless you truly DO wish to spend the afternoon doing chores…” They dashed off, but seemed oddly… Relieved, about it.

“(... You know… I heard the rumors but he really HAS gotten nicer, hasn’t he?)”

“(Yeah! I heard from some of the Upperclassmen he’d just punish you without a second thought before! It’s kinda nice, y’know…)” With it, Rollo returned to his seat, rubbing his eyes.

“... You know, I think you and Riddle could get along. Just a little.”

“... I shall at least consider it…” By now, even our drinks had grown cold, but neither of us seemed to mind. Despite the circumstances, I’m sure neither of us had many opportunities for casual conversations. “... My dearest apologies for the behavior of my students, [Last Name].”

“Ah, don’t worry about it. If all my problems were just harmless dating scandals, it’d be the least of my worries.”

“Hmph, then it sounds like you often have your hands full.”

“Yeah, but I’m used to it.” His fingers tapped along the desk again, and like clockwork, the handkerchief was back up. I didn’t bother pointing it out, knowing I had my own share of quirks.

“Well then… In that case, it is not fair of me to make you work on such an occasion either… Perhaps we should turn this to an outing of sorts…”

“... So a date~?” His eye twitched.

“I did not say THAT. I simply meant as… Friends.” It was spoken with such uncertainty, that even if I wanted to, I felt it’d be cruel to say no.

“... I don’t have a problem with that.” Again, he went entirely slack. (For a second, I was worried he was about to melt into a puddle on the ground.) “Now, don’t misunderstand. This doesn’t mean I forgive you for what happened in October… That being said, I do believe that you want to be better, and it would also benefit me to have a friend outside NRC.”

“... You have none…?” … Shit, that’s right. He didn’t know the whole story.

“... It’s a whole thing, I’ll tell you later.” I quickly downed my cold coffee, and put my croissant back into its bag for later. “Oh, and for the date thing, I’m already in a relationship, so that was just a joke, just clearing it up.”

“Are they from Night Raven College?”

“Yep!”

“Ah, my condolences.”

“Hey…!” Right back up the handkerchief went, a cruel smirk right behind it.

“As I said, though I am grateful for your students, I do not have the best opinions of them, regardless… So is it not fair to assume that said student is undeserving of you?”

“... So…~” He started to finish off his own tea, his own croissant tucked away for later. “How would you feel if I told you said student was a certain, raven-haired mage you invited here to try and slay~?”

“...?”

A range of emotions crossed Rollo Flamm’s face that day. The first was innocent confusion. The second was deep thought. The third? Realization, and fourth, pure horror…

We had to cut our trip early today, on account of him almost choking on his beverage.

-----------

“... Malleus…” Lilia knew there was no great way to ask this question, so he decided ripping the band-aid off was best. “... Are you TRULY alright with [Name] being on this trip?”

“... No, I am not.” The light shower outside was evident as much. “However… I have recently been reading books on human relationships lately, and have found that being too stifling of a partner in a relationship can cause discord over time. Though I would love nothing more than to be by their side, it is healthy not just for them, but for I as well to enjoy time apart, whether for a night, or a week.”

“Yes, yes, I understand, and it is WONDERFUL that you are taking such things into consideration, but have you not considered that there is a REASON they asked multiple times if you were TRULY alright with this?”

“I simply suspected they did not wish for my feelings to be hurt.”

“... My lord, did you even read the invitation they showed you?”

“... I skimmed it.”

“... So that’s a no, Malleus?”

“... Well, it was CLEARLY not meant for me, so my eyes should not look at it…” Lilia smacked his face.

“Malleus… It was a letter from Noble Bell College’s Student Council President. [Name] was TRYING to see if you were actually comfortable with them going to meet ROLLO FLAMM. ALONE.”

“... Rollo… Flamm…?”

… Rollo Flamm… Sure, it’d been months since the events at Noble Bell College, and it was a secret to all who attended, save Lilia. (it would be cruel to leave him out of the know, considering his status,) and even though Malleus was (mostly) over it… Well, what business did Flamm even HAVE sending another invite, much less to [NAME]?! … No, this was their business, he shouldn’t pry, he HAD his chance to, and squandered it…

“... Malleus???”

… But what if this was all a ruse like before?! [Name], they would be left defenseless! Not just to him, but what if something, anything else happened to them, and he wasn’t there to help them…?! Or worse… This was a new plan, one SPECIFICALLY to spite him…! Ugh, that’s what HE would’ve done, sure, but not THIS low…! (... Probably.)

“... Malleus…”

No, no no no no, NO. This was absolutely UNACCEPTABLE!!! To think a mere HUMAN would show such audacity to his face, not just ONCE, but TWICE!!! … He supposes that respect must be shown, for such courage (or stupidity,) but even so, that same respect simply meant there was more cause to show less mercy…

“... Oh boy…” Hail shattered upon the windowsills, only the lightning outshining their clash.

“... ROLLO FLAMMMMMM…!!!”

Everyone in the dorm wondered just who the hell the idiot who pissed off their House Leader was, save Sebek and Silver, who made a mad dash towards the Dorm Lounge.

-----------

It was the second day of festivities, and this time, I was quite surprised to see Rollo in a costume, rather than his uniform. Honestly, I almost didn’t recognize the dude. When I turned around and saw some medieval, Grim Reaper-looking dude loom behind me, I genuinely thought death had come for me until he removed his mask…

Needly to say, things were off to a great start.

“... So no colors?” If I thought I stuck out like a sore thumb, he was worse. Grey robes, ruffled collar darker than pitch, and thick, leather boots and gloves just as dark, leaving no skin exposed, save his face. Even then a veil attached to his hat obscured the back of his head, and mask on? No chance of recognition.

“Bright colors… Are not for me.” He slipped his mask back on as we approached the entrance to town. “Besides, it will be easier for us to reunite if you become lost, yes?”

“True, true…” I propped my own mask on, more excited than I was letting on for the trip ahead. (It really HAD been so long since I’d gone on a trip without anyone at NRC…) “So… What should we do first?”

“... What would YOU like to do, [Last Name]?”

“Nope! This isn’t a work thing, we’re here as friends! So we BOTH need to choose something. So… What kind of things do YOU like to do?!” He was dead silent for a while, before reaching for his handkerchief, feeling around his pockets before realizing he didn’t have it, for once.

“... Normally, I simply study in my dorm, or the library if not doing work.”

“... Wait, you don’t normally celebrate?”

“I… Only partake in these types of things if my position requires it. That is why I asked you.”

“... Fuck.” He gasped, clutching his heart at my language. “Whenever something IS going on back at NRC, I’m still usually stuck either working or doing what everyone else wants…”

“... I see…” I looked around finding someone passing out fliers, and quickly snatched one. “... Are you QUITE sure you have no interest in transferring to Noble Bell? I’m beginning to grow concerned for your health-”

“Yeah, yeah! Now here!” I scooted close, so we could both read it. “Let’s see, let’s see… There’s a list of vendors here, split into food and snacks, and a list of businesses holding special promos, too!”

“Ah, this one here.” He tapped one of the names, a bookshop. I frequent here quite often. Despite our location, they have quite a grand collection of stories, with countless genres.”

“Ooh~ And it looks like they’re doing a BOGO on some of their selections, too! It’d be a great way for me to get souvenirs for some of the more academic students!!” I tucked the flier into my satchel, and dashed off. “HURRY!!! TO THE BOOKSTORE!!!”

“Wh-HOLD ON!!! YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE IT IS!!!” I paused, and waited for him to catch up.

“Whoopsie…”

Surprisingly, he only seemed a LITTLE annoyed as he led the way, flower petals showering over our costumes like confetti.

-----------

The City of Flowers… It seemed that he’d been here just yesterday, with both his retainers at his side. Of course, despite the events before, he DID wish to return… Just not like this.

“LORD DRACONIA! I SHALL FIND ROLLO FLAMM FIRST, DON’T YOU WORRY ABOUT IT-”

“NOPE!” Lilia snatched Sebek’s collar before he could disappear into the crowd. The three had pulled out their outfits from last October, while Lilia had quickly crafted one for himself. They truly made quite the odd bunch, but no one seemed to mind. If anything, quite a few compliments had been made towards their group, despite their intimidating demeanor. “Despite his past transgressions, at this time, we have no reason to condemn Flamm for any wrongdoing, isn’t that right Malleus?”

Said man wore a soft smile, but Lilia could only groan, seeing that within his eyes, he was doing everything in his power to ensure he did not bring upon a hurricane to this day of festivities.

“... MALLEUS!”

“Hm? I’m fine, wonderful, actually.” He waved off the other, before turning down the path. “We shall reconvene in an hour!”

“AH!! LORD DRACONIA-” Lilia snatched Sebek again, knowing that even if the poor boy wanted it, he wasn’t capable of stopping Malleus if needed.
“Sebek, Silver-... Ah.” The boy had been knocked out cold, sleepwalking. Lilia quickly shook him awake. “There we go! You boys, since we’re all here, and I’VE yet to enjoy the city with you all, I think we should all make a whole day of this!” Silver smiled, already excited by the idea, while Sebek looked as if The Seven themself came down to smite him.

“WHAT?!?!” Lilia’s smile never wavered, much to Sebek’s dismay.

“Now, now~ If we happen to see [Name], then we can explain the situation, understood?”

“WHAT IF WE SEE FLAMM?!”

“Then POLITELY inform him of the situation.”

“... FINE…” With a pat on each back, Lilia quickly caught up to Malleus, already finding his eyes scanning each and every face in the crowd. “Have you found anything yet, Malleus?”

“... Unfortunately, no…” His tongue flickered in the air for a moment, before retreating back in a scowl. “There’s not even a trace of their scent… All I can taste is flowers and the like.”

“Ah… Well, rowdy as things may be, it’s still a small city. We should find them soon enough!”

“The sooner, the better.”

“... Now you listen here, Malleus.” Lilia put a hand on his shoulder, uncaring of the glare the other shot. “You can be upset all you want, but remember, this IS your mistake. It is not fair to take it out on anyone else.”

“... I know. I know…” He rubbed his eyes. “I just… I do not trust Flamm, even if I know he won’t do anything to harm them.”

“... Malleus.” Lilia quickly guided them out of traffic, towards a nearby kiosk. “How about we both take a break, and get something to eat? You haven’t had a bite since you found out about all this, have you?”

“I’m not hungry-” His stomach growled at that exact moment. When Lilia smirked, Malleus looked away with a frown. “... That was someone else.” Though, when he watched someone pass by with a giant ice cream cone after, his eyes sparkled in delight. Seeing that his lord was already abandoning their quest, Sebek only steeled himself further, knowing he absolutely could not fail…

“... Sebek.”

“WHAT, SILVER?!” They were left abandoned in the middle of the street, surrounded by countless stalls of delicious treats. Even though he’d refused to acknowledge it, Silver could still see how the other’s eyes avoided looking anywhere where delicious smells wafted. “We can eat while on patrol, you know.”

“I’M NOT HUNGRY.”

“I’ve been watching you. You want a baguette, don’t you?”

“... No…!” Silver sighed, and took out his wallet.

“Do you want two?”

“I DON’T NEED YOUR PITY!!!”

“Alright, I’ll get you two.”

“... I’m not sharing!”

“That’s fine, I’ll get something else. I think trying to bite a whole loaf would probably hurt my teeth, anyway.”

“... Mmmghgm…!” Sebek pulled out his own wallet. “Then I SUPPOSE I have no choice but to get us drinks as well, since it would be poor form to not return anything back…”

“You don’t have to, you know?”

“YES I DO, NOW WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!”

“... How about grape juice? It looks like there’s some over there.”

“Very well. NOW DON’T GET LOST!!!”

Really Silver was worried about the opposite, but at least it’d be easy to find him.

-----------

I looked between the countless books in my hands…

This place… Had manga… A RIDICULOUS manga collection… It EASILY rivaled Sam’s…!!!

“... [Last Name], are you well? It’s been five minutes-”

“I SWEAR I’m almost done, I’m just… I’m trying to debate which one of these I should get!!!” I’d already sorted out the pile that was gifts. I had to get those. But the rest… UGH!!! I didn’t need them, but also, I needed them. If I didn’t have my daily fix of Shoujo, I WOULD go insane and burn down NRC.

“You can afford them all, yes? Surely you were given a budget for this trip-”

“Oh, absolutely not. The Headmaster won’t even fix our plumbing.”

“... Pardon???”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“No, I’m afraid I can’t. Do you mean to say you’ve had NO plumbing?!”

“Oh we do, but I had to pay for it myself!”

“... Suddenly, I’ve lost further respect for your school…”

“It’s mostly just the Headmaster! The rest of the staff’re actually pretty good! (Just kinda weird.)”

“I see…” Rollo kneeled down next to me, and began reading the names of my books. “... These seem awfully… Well…”

“Think very carefully about your next words, Flamm.”

“... Interesting. They seem very interesting…” He began placing them onto a concerningly orderly stack. “As you are our guest, our school shall cover the expenses-”

“Oooh no no no I can’t ask you to do that-”

“Nonsense. Besides, I have no reasons to fear you taking advantage of such generosity, so I see no reason not to.”

“But… It’s really not fair to you…” He picked up my books before I could protest, and left for the counter.

“Neither is your own Headmaster leaving you with insufficient housing and funds, so at least one of us should…”

… Yeah. I couldn’t argue against that…

“... Okay, FINE! But as punishment, you HAVE to choose the next thing we do…!”

“Ngh…!” For a second, I think he genuinely considered putting them back, but soon enough, we made our way out of the small store, and back into the streets.

The crowd was so thick, it was almost suffocating, but Rollo and I found a corner of the street to cram into. I readjusted my bags, already feeling my arms dying from their weight as we looked around for something else to do… However, I felt my blood ran cold when I met two, ruby-red irises that twinkled from mischief, even from two roads down.

“Gyah…!” Rollo cried as I snatched his arm, and began dragging him further in. “[Last Name], what in THE SEVENS’ NAME ARE YOU-”

“SHH GO GO GO GO GO…!” While it may have SEEMED like a lost cause trying to escape from Lilia, I also knew there was at least a 50% chance he’d have my back, and simply say nothing… But if Malleus, or god forbid Sebek saw me, then it was OVER.

“GO WHERE?!”

“SOMEWHERE… UH…! … SOMEWHERE!!!” I dragged him down wherever and everywhere, looking for the first place that could cover our scents. Fate seemed to be on my side as a candle shop came into view, and I dragged us in. “... Haaaah…!!” I fell to my knees, feeling my face heat up as nearby customers laughed. “... Okay, we should be safe here! They PROBABLY won’t find us here…”

“... [Last Name]?” Rollo removed his face, hitting me full-force with his glare. “Will you NOW tell me why you’ve suddenly gone into hysterics?!”

“... Oh yeah.” Not everyone developed the unfortunate habit of being hyper-aware of their surroundings! “Yeah so I just saw the Vice Housewarden of Diasomnia.”

“... Vanrouge, was it?” I nodded. “... What business would he have here?”

“... So remember said raven-haired dude I’m dating that you enjoy hating~?”

“Unfortunately, so quit reminding me!!!”

“No it’s relevant, actually~! … I think he’s here for me.” Rollo took a deep breath, and rubbed his temples.

“... On second thought, perhaps my plans for reparations were doomed from the start…”

“OH, DON’T YOU EVEN START!!!” Naturally, we delved further into the tiny shop. The mix-match of scents would easily cover our scent, but much to my surprise, it still managed to be pleasant on my own… (I honestly expected more of a Perfume Department from Hell, kinda time!)

“Besides, I DID tell him about this whole thing!!! … I feel bad, yeah, but this is the closest thing I’ve had to a vacation in MONTHS, so I’m NOT gonna cut things short, partner or not! If he REALLY had a problem with it, he should’ve been honest with me and SAID SO, so I’m not gonna reward his own bad behavior!!!”

Just looking at Rollo, I could tell it was taking all his willpower to keep shut about NRC again.

“... Of course, I also understand I did sign up for this. I mean, he is a fae, after all. I’ve more than learned how unconventional things can be cause of it, so I’m least gonna check up on him and let him know things are alright.”

“... Pardon my rudeness, but would he even believe you, considering I invited you?”

“... Yeah. I think he will. Malleus may be a prideful, arrogant guy sometimes, but as you said Rollo. We BOTH trust each other… Believe it or not, he’s got a lot of heart, too! … Though, I don’t expect you of all people to know that!”

“... True, I suppose…” I ran my hands along the candles, my eyes glimmering in delight as I found some fancy, molded ones, in the shape of one of NBC’s many gargoyles.

“Ooh…!” I quickly plucked one, Rollo cringing at the sight of it. “Speaking of him, he’d LOVE this! A classic, gothic piece with a twist~! … Do they have any in green, actually…?!”

“Ugh… In the corner…” He brought his sleeve to his face, a makeshift handkerchief. “But YOU can pay for this one…!”

“I was gonna, don’t worry~!”

I made sure to inspect each and every one, knowing that despite everything, he deserved nothing but the best…

-----------

It had been quite a busy day… But quite a lovely one.

“SILVER!!!” Malleus smiled, watching as Sebek proudly showed the other his newest purchase a stone’s throw away. “BEHOLD!!! A NEW COFFEE MUG!!!” He smacked it into his hands, Silver inspecting it with interest. “I’m SICK of seeing you drink out of that chipped one every morning during breakfast, so GET RID OF IT!!!”

“Ah, thank you, Sebek.” It was carefully tucked away with a smile. “But the other still works fine, right? Besides, you also bought that one for me… Wouldn’t it be rude to throw it out, then?”

“WHA-IT’S A DAMAGED COFFEE MUG, SILVER!!! WHY DO YOU THINK I’D CARE?!?!” Despite that, his chest puffed out in pride. “... Though, I suppose you could use it for something else, instead… Tch!”

Truly, he could HARDLY remember why they came to the City of Flowers, but they were having such a lovely time, that there was no room for regrets! Another person came to sit by him, yet he didn’t bother facing them, already knowing it was Lilia from the amused chuckle beside him, more intrigued by the mug of wine placed before him.

“My lord, you seem quite relaxed.”

“... Do I? What a surprise.” He took a sip, a special brew made exclusively from a nearby winery. Though it was far from enough to get him tipsy, it still made his body feel warm from its wonderful spices. He hadn’t planned on making any purchases, but upon one sip, he knew it’d pair well with his favorite meats… Perhaps he’d invite [Name] to partake in dinner- “... Ah.”

… [Name]. That’s what he was forgetting, and from the grin of the devil besides him, it was his plan all along.

“... Lilia, a word?”

“I suspect you have more than just one for me.” There were… Many words to describe how he felt. Defeated, humiliated, infuriated, frustrated… He was torn. Part of him wanted to retreat to his room, and dwell in misery beneath his bedsheets, while the other wanted to drown the entire world in storms.

… But surprisingly, he didn’t actually feel like acting on any of those.

“... Hmph…” He took another sip of his wine. (Perhaps one bottle wouldn’t be enough.) “You are QUITE lucky I am feeling rather charitable, today, Lilia…!”

“I am~? How splendid!” Lilia took a sip of his own drink, cheeks already growing a flushed hue at it’s deep, rich red. “Then perhaps I should test my luck further, milord~!”

“You could, but fair warning. I am not feeling THAT charitable…”

“Ha~!” He huffed in shame, watching as the man downed half the cup in one shot. The poor drink… He was hardly taking the time to even SAVOR it…

“... For shame, Lilia…” Malleus closed his eyes, and took another sip. Despite himself, he couldn’t stop his lips from curling into a wide smile, feeling the blessed drink pop and crackle upon his tongue once more…

“*... Thud.*”

His eyes snapped open, now finding a tiny, green… Well, it was a candle, and it looked to be a gargoyle from Noble Bell, but COULD it be called a gargoyle? After all, it was a candle, not a water spout… So by default, it would be a grotesque, wouldn’t it-

“Not even a hi~?” Suddenly, none of that mattered!

“[NAME]!!!” Much to his regret, his mug was slammed onto the desk, Lilia howling with mirth as the table beneath nearly cracked in half. “... A-ah…! [Name]...! I… Did not expect to see you here!!!”

“Really?” They took a seat at the table. Malleus could feel his face growing hot, feeling Lilia’s attention only increase further. (Nosy old man…)

“Of course. Do I truly look so desperate as to follow you around?”

“Well, considering how you could’ve chosen literally ANYWHERE ELSE to go, I’m inclined to say yes.” Lilia shot down the rest of his mug, and slammed it down.

“They’ve got you there, Malleus~!”

“You. Shush.”

“Boo…!” He scowled, and quietly (yet violently) shooed away Lilia, watching as the elder made a beeline back to the wine kiosk. (A problem for FUTURE Malleus, to deal with.)

“... Alright, I admit it. I came here for you. However… I do acknowledge it was selfish of me, especially as I did not take your own considerations for me seriously.”

“... I see…” He expected to get lectured, so the glint of pride in their eyes came as a welcome surprise. “... Well, we won’t need to have a discussion about this, then! I’m proud of you, Mal Mal!” An arrow struck through his heart. It took all his strength not to keel over, and let those be the last words he’d ever hear… “However, I’m still going to stay for the remainder of the week. I REALLY need this break, alright?”

“... Could you at least return a day early…?”

“I can call you before bed every night.”

“... And when you wake?” They fumed, hands on their hips.

“Don’t get greedy.” And just like that, the arrow was ripped out, leaving him to bleed out in agony. “... But I can try to. Just don’t get too mad if I forget. You know I’m not a morning person, after all...” And suddenly, the arrow was snatched off the ground and stabbed back into his heart even further. “... Anyways, Rollo’s gonna take me to a local cheesemonger, so are there any kinds you want me to pick up for NRC?”

And suddenly, the arrow was once more ripped out, and instead, a silver sword pierced his chest.

“... Pardon?”

“... Cheese.”

“No, no… Before that.”

“Oh, Rollo’s taking me. I mean, you KNOW I was invited by him. Who else would take me?” … Violence murder death death famine pestilence along the land and eternal slumber for those upon it- “... Suddenly, I feel like we DO need to have a talk, after all…”

… NO. NO. This was FINE. As he’d accepted, time apart was not an inherently bad thing, and being too stifling could be, even if they were understanding! And clearly, Flamm’s intentions had not been cruel, as they were perfectly fine before him…

… But there was still a week to go… That was so much time, too much time… And he knew first-hand what that imbecile could do with it… For all HE knew, the moment they returned to Diasomnia, [Name]’s life would be-

“I’M NOT DYING MALLEUS, CALM DOWN!!! I can read it all over your face, y’know…! (And by the sudden draft…)”

… Humans… Were such difficult beings to love… (Though, he wouldn’t change a thing about this romance.)

Chapter Text

“... Ah, this is new…” He tapped against the frame of the painting. It was simple, just a green canvas with two eyes. Black irises looked to the side, as if suspicious of something just around the corner, and though it stuck out among the halls of Ramshackle… Well, he couldn’t argue. It was quite charming.

“... Ugh, don’t tell me that raccoon got in aga-GYAH!!!” A beam of light blinded him, but only for a second before [Name]’s phone crashed to the ground. “... MALLEUS!!! IT’S FOUR IN THE MORNING ON A SATURDAY!!! WHY ARE YOU AWAKE?!?!”

“Am I not supposed to be?” Unfortunately, his charming smile only furthered their ire, the Prefect bending down to snatch their phone and inspect it for cracks. They were quite unkept, in hand-me-down pajamas, with a broom tucked under their arm, clearly meant for a different intruder. “... Well, since you also seem to be awake, I have a question, [Name].”

“No, you can’t use my printer for Gargoyle pictures again. Last time, you used up literally ALL the ink.”

“I promise I shall replenish it, this time…!”

“It’s still a no!!! I’m not gonna be able to sleep if I’m listening to it all night…”

“... Hmph.” Perhaps the love spoken of in fairy tales WAS a lie, after all… “... Very well. I shall accept such cruelty, but only if you answer another question of mine.”

“... Sure…” As they listened, they adjusted a nearby photo, a lovely one taken of Grim, with all the 2nd years for the school’s anniversary. Though they straightened it, if shifted back out of place, and for a moment, he wished to simply enjoy the sight of their increasing frustrations… But of course, he wanted his curiosity sated more.

“This painting…” This time, he simply gestured to the frame. “Is this your work, Child of Man? I’ve yet to see anything like it…”

“... Oh, that?” The photo shifted back askew. This time, they just rolled their eyes and gave up. “Uhh… Yes, but also no.”

“... Interesting… Care to elaborate?” They carefully took the frame off the wall, and admired it within their grasp. Even if the work was a bit messy, there was a fondness in their gaze that made his heart twist.

“Yeah, I’m the one who painted this, but it’s actually a painting from back home, specifically from a video game I really love! This was called ‘Reticent Gaze.’”

There was a glimmer in their eye, yet despite their smile, it was clearly something bittersweet…

… Homesickness. There was nothing else it could be.

“... I… See…” This painting… It was something he was never meant to see, just as they were. Something he was never meant to even touch… It should have been a privilege, an honor any creative would plead for, yet it only made flames flicker from within… Those once charming eyes now felt condescending, practically mocking. A reminder that not only was [Name] not from this world, but they still had not abandoned their own.

A reminder that… There was one day they might leave him…

“... Anyway, the game’s really cool! I think you would’ve liked it.” They passed it to him, and it took all his strength to not smash the horrid thing, and burn it until not even ashes remained. “It takes place in an art gallery, but like, in another world, kinda!”

“I see…” It felt that no matter which way he turned the canvas, the eyes always found a way back to meet his… It sent chills down his spine.

“Yeah!! It’s about a girl who gets trapped in it, alongside two other people, and they’re trying to find a way to escape!” Carefully, he replaced the frame back onto the wall, doing his best to avoid its gaze. “If… You’re not doing anything else… I could maybe tell you more about it…?”

“... I would love to, [Name].”

The truth was he didn’t want to, but even now, he was powerless to say no.

-----------

“Hey, hey~ Shrimpy~” Without even asking, Floyd yanked the ‘Reticent Gaze’ off the wall. “Where’d you get this?!”

“PUT THAT BACK!!!” They managed to snatch it back, but really, it was only because Floyd liked them enough to let them.

“What is it~?” Jade and Azul ‘admired’ it as it was placed back on the wall.

“It’s a painting.”

“Did YOU make it~?”

“I made it, but it’s a copy of one back home I love.”

“Nice~! … Anyway it’s mine now.”

“WHAT?!” He yoinked it off the wall again and bolted, leaving Jade to chuckle while Azul groaned.

“Well, Azul! It seems we’ve found a new piece for The Lounge!”

“Oh, don’t even JOKE about that, Jade! The last thing I need is customers complaining about the weird eyes on the wall!”

“Considering this is a school with haunted paintings, I feel as if this wouldn’t be THAT big of a concern.”

“... True…” They looked out the window, watching Floyd dash into the greenhouse, with [Name] hot on his heels. “And don’t they say having a photo of eyes makes people more conscious of performing crimes?”

“Not for me, but for the average student? Most certainly.”

“In that case… This ‘Reticent Gaze’ could be a way to help combat rowdiness in The Lounge!!!” Much to their surprise, the door opened, and [Name] trudged back in, the frame tucked beneath their arm. “HOW MUCH FOR THE PAINTING?!?!”

“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, AZUL?!?!” Floyd stumbled back in, mumbling as he wiped a smashed tomato off his face with his scarf. “I’M NOT SELLING THE FUCKING PAINTING!!!”

“WHAT ABOUT A COPY?!”

“N-... Actually, you know what? SURE. I’ll make you a copy, but on TWO CONDITIONS.”

“... I will hear them out.” They adjusted the frame back onto the wall. Even if the painting hadn’t changed, it felt… Annoyed, almost.

“First, you’re paying for the materials.”

“Fair.”

“And second, I ALSO want a piece for Ramshackle from one of you.” Jade raised his hand. “Yes, I will be willing to consider said piece being a mushroom.”

“Azul.” Jade grabbed his shoulder. “We have to accept these terms.”

“What? Jade-” The Leech’s grip grew harsher. “We’re LOSING money with it!!! It should be just an art trade, or financial compensation-”

“AZUL. TAKE THE DEAL.” Had it been a normal man, Jade’s grip would’ve been agonizing, but even with his strength, Azul began sweating.

“Look, I’ll make sure you get to take the commission, just let me negotiate a little more-”

“Hey, Azul.” Now Floyd’s hand was on his other shoulder. “I wanna do a commission too! If Jade does this, then we're always gonna get stuck looking at some stupid mushroom whenever we visit!!! I’LL make sure to make something actually COOL.”

“Floyd, don’t even START this!!!”

“Give it to me, Azul.”

“NO! GIVE IT TO ME!!!”

[Name] just snuck out of the room, leaving poor Azul to deal with the consequences of their actions.

-----------

Malleus felt his blood run cold the second he locked eyes with those cursed ones.

“... Milord, are you alright?” Silver’s hand moved to his baton, ready to strike. However, it would do no good to cause a fuss over something so trivial, so he took a deep breath, and hoped he hadn’t broken into a cold sweat.

“All is well, Silver, and as I have reminded you, I have invited you as a guest, not a guard. You may rest your hand.”

“... Yes, milord.” He complied, albeit hesitantly. “Forgive me.”

“There is nothing to forgive, Silver.” They quickly found their way into an empty booth, ignoring the stares and mutters from nearby students. He wasn’t surprised. Though it was a time where The Lounge was near empty, even the dead would still have their visitors. As he picked up his menu, skimming through the options to see what had changed, Silver had yet to grab his own.

“... Lord Malleus, would it be acceptable to ask you a question?”

“Of course, I encourage it.”

“Thank you. In that case… Why have you only invited me?”

“Lilia has requested for Sebek to assist him with shopping in town, yes? I felt it was only fair that you also have plans. Of course, if you would rather be elsewhere…”

“No, of course not. I am rather grateful for your consideration.” He finally picked up his menu, unable to hide a smile. “Though, I have a feeling that if Sebek hears about this, he won’t be thrilled.”

“He shall be alright. Eventually, there shall come another time where I shall invite him.”

“I hope it is soon, then.” As a server approached, the two politely gave their orders. Silver seemed more bothered by the countless eyes on them, rather than himself, but he supposes that even with his requests to cease his work, there was only so much it could do… He was just about to soothe the poor boy when he locked eyes with the painting again, its eyes staring straight at him.

“... Huh…?!” He blinked, finding the irises back towards the side. His heart pounded within his chest, and his throat felt dry.

“Lord Malleus, are you alright…?!” The prince quickly poured a cup of water for himself from the pitcher atop the desk, the crisp liquid doing little to soothe his anxieties.

“I am well Silver, I assure you.” He glanced back at it again, finding it still gazing off to the side. Silver followed his gaze, squinting to make it out from so far.

“... That’s a weird painting…” Unlike the version at Ramshackle, this one was a bold purple to match The Lounge, yet still managed to hold all the sass from its predecessor.

“I agree. A wretched one, at that…”

“... I see…” After a few moment’s thought, Silver rose from his seat. “I shall see if it can be removed-”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!” The entire restaurant went silent. Suddenly, all the eyes on them became unbearable, but most so Silver’s, which were wide in shock. “... My apologies… Please return to your seat, Silver… I do not wish to cause more problems than I already have…”

“... My apologies, Lord Malleus…” He returned to his seat, ridden with guilt. “I seem to have ruined our lunch-”

“None of that, Silver. You have done nothing of the sort.” He downed the rest of his water, and immediately reached again for the pitcher. “Let us just pretend none of this happened, and enjoy the rest of our afternoon…”

He did his best to avoid looking back to the wall, fearing he’d find those same eyes gazing right back at him.

-----------

“Ooh~! What’s this~?” Kalim reached for the canvas, but [Name] quickly blocked his hand.

“NO TOUCHY!!!”

“Aww…! Fine, fine…” Cater stared intensely at the painting, swearing that for a second, he saw it sweating… “What is it though?”

“It’s a copy of a painting from my own world! … I feel like I should make a placard for it though, since this is the third time I’ve been asked that…”

“Ooh! That’s so cool!!! It’s also really weird!! For some reason, I feel like it’s watching me!!” Cater pretended to look away, and though it was brief, he SWORE he saw its irises move to look at him… “Anyway, do you think you could make me one? Don’t worry, I’d be sure to pay you!”

“... You know, you’re the SECOND PERSON who’s asked that…”

“Really, who was the first-WAIT.” He snatched Cater’s shirt, finally snapping him out of his staring contest. “I’ve got a GREAT idea! What if we got patches of it for our Club Uniforms?!”

“Patches…?” Honestly, he HATED that idea. This thing was creepy as hell… But disliking doesn’t get likes at times like these, so sacrifices had to be made… “Yeah! It’d be TOTES adorbs~!! I’m sure Lilia would agree too~!”

“Right?!” Kalim immediately whipped his head back towards [Name]. “Huh?! Huh?! So can we?!”

“... Ugh, fine, but I’m only gonna make a few, and ONLY pay the cost of my supplies… Even if the creator doesn’t exist in this world, it still feels icky to make a profit off their work…”

“YES!!!” Kalim dashed down the hall, towards the spare bedroom that had been refurbished into a craft room. Cater sighed, knowing there was no way out of this, but hey, it wouldn’t be TOO bad! … Probably…

“... Well, we should make sure Kalim doesn’t get too carried away now, right [Name]~?”

“Yeah! … But also, weren’t you guys supposed to practice here???”

“Well…~” Truth be told, he already forgot that was why they came here. “Another time! Now hurry up, or I’ll leak your Private MagiCam on my timeline!!!”

“WAIT!!!”

He didn’t look back. (He was afraid to.)

-----------

… Again…

… AGAIN…

“... Malleus? Are you alright?” Lilia was putting away groceries. It was nothing new. Only the normal feeling of dread when one saw what ingredients he put away into cupboards.

However, he was in his Club Uniform. That was also nothing new. But what was, was the new patch on it. A tiny, little rectangle atop his right sleeve. It’s two, embroidered eyes staring deep into his soul.

“... Lilia.” He felt sick as he pointed to the patch. “Where did you get that?”

“... This?” He pointed to the little rectangle. “Oh! Cater and Kalim made them today! They told me to stop by the club in uniform to put them on! We all have one corresponding to our dorm’s color! Isn’t it cute~?” He tapped on it, and this time, there was no mistaking it.

That… Thing… It winced, shutting its eyes at the perfectly polished nail that poked it.

“For SEVENS’ SAKE, LILIA, YOU ENCHANTED THE DAMN THING?!?!”

“... Pardon?” Malleus snatched the patch, and ripped it clean off the shirt. “HEY!!!” Its eyes were wide in fear as Malleus held it with a taut grip, and as Lilia came into view, it peered at him for help. The poor fae was so baffled by its sudden sentience however, that it found none.

“How is it alive?! I didn’t detect any magic from these in the slightest!!!”

“Is it possible that Al-Asim or Diamond did!?”

“I would have assumed they would have TOLD ME…!” Realizing it was on its own, the patch squirmed in Malleus’ grip, before being tossed into a nearby pasta container. It fell limp against the glass, and stared into their eyes, emotionless… Though it was obviously not thrilled about things. Malleus felt his skin crawl as Lilia inspected it from within.

“... I need to make a phone call.”

“Please do.”

-----------

Sometimes, Jamil wondered why he didn’t just leave Night Raven College. (Honestly, it was the kitchen. The kitchen was sometimes the only thing keeping him from grabbing a bag and RUNNING.)

However, the patch that refused to budge eye-contact with him from where Kalim messed around on his phone nearby was driving him INSANE… It just watched him. Emotionless…

“... Kalim.”

“Huh?” He immediately looked away from his phone with a smile. “Yeah? Are you finally gonna let me help with something in the kitchen?!”

“No, especially because I do not trust you around live crab.” Not only was he 99% sure it would pinch Kalim, he was 100% sure Kalim would cry, having to put it in the pot. “I was going to ask if you could leave the room. That new patch of yours is making me uncomfortable.”

“Huh? Why???” Kalim glanced at his sleeve, where he could just see the corners of it. “It’s cool, isn’t it???”

“I don’t care if it’s cool or not, that thing won’t stop staring at me!!!”

“... What do you mean?” Jamil resisted the urge to smack his face.

“Kalim. You CANNOT be serious. That thing has NOT stopped staring at me ever since you walked in, except to BLINK.” Kalim froze, and much to Jamil’s surprise, he tore off his button-up in horror, and threw it off his body with a screech.

(… Was the kitchen REALLY good enough to stay…?)

-----------

“... Yeah, I’m not wearing this.”

Cater tossed the patch into his desk drawer, its thread a perfect red, matching Heartslabyul. Sure, there WAS a kinda cute charm about it, but he was still WAY too unnerved about earlier to even humor the thought. If the others asked, he’d just say it fell out of his pocket, and not to worry about it. What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them, after all.

“*... Bzzt… Bzzt-*” On instinct, he snatched his phone and answered.

“Hey hey~ It’s Cay Cay~!” He winced, knowing he’d doomed himself to conversation during his precious break.

“Hello, Cater. I have an important question.” He wasn’t expecting to hear from Lilia again so soon… Though, it wasn’t entirely unwelcome. They were friends, after all.

“Shoot!”

“Very well! Did you use any magic when making our patches?”

“Nope!”

“... Interesting…” He tucked the phone against his ear, and grabbed one of his plushes to cuddle. “Then, would you mind answering this? Has your patch gained sentience?”

“... Uh…” Cater sat up, suddenly nervous. “Why’re you asking…?”

“Because mine has.”

“... Haha… That’s…” Cater gulped, reaching for the drawer. “... That’s totes weird… I don’t think mine has, though!” He opened the drawer, finding the patch face up, and staring right at him, but unmoving.

“... Yeah, no, mine looks fine, Lilia-” The motherfucker suddenly BLINKED.

-----------

“... KYAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” Malleus and Lilia covered their ears, but even then, the volume of Cater’s scream was agony upon them. “WHAT THE FUCK?!?!”

“... It seems that both our patches have come alive, then… We shall have to check with Kalim, then.” However, there was a bang over the receiver, another cry that made the two Diasomnia students cover their ears again.

“CATER, MY PATCH IS ALIVE!!! WHAT DO I DO?!?!”

… Well, that saved them some time.”

----------

The four met up at The Lounge, with all their patches trapped in whatever random containers happened to be around. Making eye-contact with each other, the ‘Reticent Gazes’ side-eyed everyone else at the tablet, with none of the students able to decipher what they were thinking.

“... So…~” Cater tapped the jar his own was trapped in. “We have any ideas how this happened~?” Kalim peered into the tupperware his own was in, jumping once it looked straight at him.

“Nope… I can’t think of anything we did… Maybe it was something at Ramshackle…?” Malleus and Lilia’s ears perked up in unison.

“Ramshackle?” Malleus turned to the painting on the wall, only to find it was gone. “Were these patches made there?” Kalim beamed, holding up his arm.

“Yeah, we used the embroidery machine [Name] has! My sleeve got caught in it while we were making these!” Right where he pointed at the cuff was a line of holes from where the thread had been.

“Oh, Kalim… Really, you MUST be more careful!” Lilia’s tone came across as anything but chastising. “But this is good information… Perhaps there is something wrong with the machine, then… Speaking of things that are wrong…” Lilia looked around with a huff. “While I don’t like to complain about service, it’s been quite a while, and we’ve yet to receive our drinks! While I understand it’s near closing, surely it shouldn’t take THIS long to pour a glass of berry juice…” Though he played it off with a laugh, Malleus caught how the fae fidgeted with his sleeve, and that he nibbled at his lip, dangerously hard enough to draw blood…

“I shall inquire about our order, Lilia.”

“Hm?” He quickly sat up. “Oh, no need Malleus, I can be patient!”

“Nonsense.” He quickly slipped from the booth. “Besides, I have a question for Ashengrotto. I shall return in a few moments.”

“Ah… Very well then…” Lilia settled back into his seat, forcing a smile as Kalim continued on the conversation.

Malleus quickly made his way to the counter, finding that most of the students had long since abandoned work for the day, yet not even Ashengrotto remained. Either he had left customers to fend for themselves, or he’d retreated to his office. Well, nothing that threatening to ‘leave a bad Kelp review,’ wouldn’t fix.

“... Floyd, don’t you DARE!!!” Malleus paused right outside the door, wondering if he should just pretend he didn’t hear anything, and grab Lilia juice from elsewhere… But he was much too nosy for that. So instead, he stood silent for a moment to listen.

“JADE, YOU AGREE WITH ME, RIGHT?!?! THAT SMALL FRY WAS GIVING ME A LOOK!!!”

“I will, but only to spite Azul.”

“DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM-NO NO NO NO!!!” There was a crash from within that made Malleus wince. “... HA!”

“GIVE IT BACK!!! I’M GONNA SQUEEZE IT UNTIL IT CAN’T EVEN BEG FOR MERCY!”

“NO!!! DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH CALMER THE LOUNGE HAS BEEN THESE PAST FEW HOURS?! AND YOU WANT ME TO GIVE THAT UP?!” Malleus opened the door.

“Ashengrotto.” They could deal with this later, right now, Lilia truly did need his juice. “We have been waiting for service-”

The purple Reticent Gaze stared straight at him, sweating. Azul dropped it in terror, while Floyd made a break for it, barely stopped by the House Leader. Jade sighed, and put his hat back on, giving Malleus his best customer service smile.

“My apologies, Draconia! I shall retrieve your orders in a moment!”

“Thank you, Leech.” He made his leave, but turned back just a moment, locking eyes with the dreadful painting. “Also, bring that wretched thing with you. It seems we have much to discuss…”

Finally, he took his leave.

-----------

Now, with drinks and snacks in hand, and three more people crammed at the table, they had a grand total of four Reticent Gazes. The three patches looked blankly at the canvas, which was still sweating despite its own blank expression within Azul’s death grip. Unlike the others, it looked straight to the ground, doing everything in it’s power to avoid Floyd’s glare.

“... So!” Jade clapped his hands together. “It seems that for some reason, all these pieces from Ramshackle have come to life!” Azul hugged the painting closer to his body, shooting a glare at Floyd.

“It seems so… Though, I can assure that I was present when [Name] painted this one, so if it’s the same situation for you all, then I’m not sure how…” Floyd huffed, refusing to look away from the painting.

“Maybe they got some of those botched art supplies that got recalled the other day or something.” Azul immediately sat up.

“... Floyd? What supplies?” He groaned, stabbing a piece of takoyaki for himself.

“Y’don’t know?? There was a huge scandal about it. This one budget craft supplier got a new idiot CEO who knows fuck all about running a business, and pissed off a bunch of mages at the place, so they sabotaged a bunch of junk. He didn’t find out until after he fired everyone though, so he’s still scrambling to get everything back.”

“Ah! You’re talking about… Well, I shouldn’t say~” Jade smirked. “I mean, it’s OBVIOUS at this point who you’re talking about.” Everyone at the table laughed, save Malleus. Lilia gave him a sympathetic pat.

“Don’t worry about it Malleus, if anything, you’re lucky to not know of any of this!”

“I see…” Cater whipped out his phone, looking up the info Floyd dropped, and sighed.

“Dang… Floyd’s totes right. I completely missed it with everything else that’s happened with this guy so far…” Kalim crammed himself close, eyes widening at the recall notice.

“Hey… Isn’t that the logo that was on the embroidery thread?” Now Azul crammed close to Cater, adjusting his glasses.

“Ah…! That’s the same brand that the paints were, as well…!” Not wanting to be crushed further, Cater placed his phone at the center of the table, where everyone could see it, the charming, once respected logo that had become the laughingstock of Twisted Wonderland.

“Well then.” Jade smiled, and began picking up the empty dishes from the table. “I suppose we should wrap up our business here, and inform [Name] of this situation!” Azul passed Malleus his frame (much to the other House Leader’s regret) and started picking up glasses alongside Jade.

“Yes, just give us a brief minute to tidy up, count the register, the whole show, then we’ll all inform them together~! (... FLOYD.)”

“FINE, FINE…!” The final Leech crawled out of the booth, and grabbed the nearest broom. Malleus huffed, passing the canvas to Lilia instead.

“Ashengrotto, I believe it would be best to inform [Name] NOW, in case something is to happen…”

“And I AGREE, Malleus… However, if we leave the dishes that YOU ALL used out, then what if we are to get a rat infestation? If that were to happen, then YOU would be paying for that bill!”

He glanced at Lilia, who shook his head. Reluctantly, he remained seated, the ten minutes it took for them to speedclean the longest ten minutes of his life.

-----------

They finally arrived at Ramshackle, not finding a single soul home.

“... Well~!” Cater flopped on the couch, and grabbed one of the many, cozy marketable plushes crammed onto it to snuggle. “Guess we’ll just have to crash here until they return~!”

“Yeah, yeah~!!” Floyd flopped right next to him, kicking his legs onto the table. “It’s for a good cause, after all~”

“Ugh, put those down!!!” Azul smacked his shoes off, and dusted the aged wood. “Invited or not, we’re STILL guests, Floyd!”

“Ugh, alright, fine…” Jade smiled fondly at the two, before disappearing into the kitchen to prepare tea for everyone. Malleus frowned at the rowdy guests, and crossed his arms.

“... They all seem awfully comfortable…” Lilia chuckled, taking a sip from the juice he’d brought to-go.

“You say that as if it’s such a bad thing, milord.” Well, to HIM, it was, but there wasn’t much he could say about it. After all, it was [Name]’s home at the end of the day, not his own…

“Haha, c’mon, Malleus!!!” Kalim punched his arm, snapping the man from his anger, into pure surprise. “Relax a while! It might be a while before they show up, you know! Besides, I’m sure they’d rather see you with a smile!”

“... I suppose that’s true, Al-Asim.”

“Yeah!! … Anyway, I’m gonna wander around a bit, so call for me when you guys need me, alright? Bye~!!” He dashed off into one of the many halls, but for some reason, he had a feeling Al-Asim would inevitably arrive at the Guest Room. Something about that room always called to the students here…

“... Ah, Malleus!” He turned back, finding Lilia staring straight at the first ‘Reticent Gaze,’ the painting that started this whole problem. Seeing the others stacked neatly onto a nearby table, it didn’t bother hiding its gaze this time, looking at both of them. “This is the only other painting [Name] has made, yes?”

“Yes, that is correct.” He didn’t bother removing it, since so far, the Gazes had ultimately proved harmless. “If there are any others, I am unaware of them.”

“I see… And what a lovely frame, as well!” It looked almost… Bashful, at Lilia’s praise. Malleus could almost swear it’s hue grew a few shades darker. “I suppose ultimately it will be up to Sam on what we should do with these… But I hope they can remain! Curious as it may be, it truly is a charming piece, wouldn’t you agree?”

The Gaze stared right into Malleus, already knowing full well he disagreed. He just smiled back, eyes reflecting it’s malice right back.

-----------

“... Whoa…!”

The Guest Room was interesting as always! Mismatched furniture that somehow complimented each other, cozy rugs that felt like heaven beneath his feet… But the newest decoration was something he’d never seen before! Kalim ran up to the frame, looking all around its edges to examine it. It was a portrait of a woman he’d never seen before, in a red dress, and ridiculously long hair. Something about her felt simple, yet despite the messy brush strokes, he still found himself astounded by it.

“So cool…! I wonder where [Name] got this!!!” They were always getting neat things from flea markets and stuff… He really needed to tag along one of these days.

“... Ohoho… What a sweet boy~”

“Huh…?!” She suddenly blinked and smiled at him. “GYAH!!! YOU’RE ALIVE?!”

“Ah, I suppose it IS a bit of a surprise… It isn’t everyday you find a canvas talking to you.” Kalim took a step back, but realized that all the paintings so far had been harmless… So what made her different from the rest? Not just of the Gazes, but the normal, haunted paintings back at campus!

“Ah, I’m sorry…! I wasn’t trying to be rude, just now… Oh! I’m Kalim! What’s your name?”

“My name?” She smiled so fondly, it reminded him of a kind-hearted mother. “Well, I am a painting called ‘The Lady in Red.’ It is lovely to meet you, Kalim!”

“Likewise!!!” He took a seat on the floor in front of her. “So how long have you been here? I didn’t see you here last week!”

“Ah, I was being painted then. It wasn’t until today that I was put up.”

“Ooh~ Neat! So like, are you like that other painting out in the hall?”

“Possibly. What is its name?”

“Uh… ‘Something, something Gaze,’ I think!”

“... ‘Reticent Gaze?’”

“YEAH!!! That’s the one!” She perked up.

“Ah, I do know them! We were both created by the same artist! … Though, the two of us here seem to be forgeries…” Clearly, the knowledge was disappointing to her. Something about seeing her like this… Kalim just KNEW he had to do something!

“Don’t think like that… [Name] made you both because they missed their old home, and thought of you guys, of all paintings! I’d say even if you aren’t an original, in this case, that’s something really special, you know!”

“... Haha, you truly think so? … In that case… I suppose I could live with that…”

“Yeah!!” There was a knock at the door. The two looked up, watching as it opened. Cater waltzed in, mindlessly tapping along on his phone.

“Hey Kalim, we texted [Name], they said they'll be here in a-whoa~! Who’s the cutie here~?” He didn’t waste a moment joining them. Kalim smiled brightly, while her face turned flat, eye-ing the newcomer.

“Hey Cater! This is ‘The Lady in Red!’ She’s related to the uh… The… The eye paintings!!!”

“Really~? Well, you don’t mind if I just call you ‘Scarlett,’ would you? A fitting name for a beauty like yourself!” She just stared at Cater, eyes unmoving. Kalim frowned, looking around, but nothing else was in the room.

“... Miss Red?” The tension in the room felt tight as she held her head, as if remembering something.

“... Rose…” Cater gulped.

“O-oh…! Would you prefer being called Rose…~?” Kalim glanced at him, noticing her gaze trained directly on his uniform. He’d changed out of his clubwear, and was back in his Heartslabyul uniform.

“... Hey.. Cater… Maybe she WANTS your rose…?”

“... Oh! Oh, yeah…!” He reached for it, but his blood ran cold. “... On second thought… If Riddle catches me running around roseless, I’ll be headless, so… I think I’m just gonna go~”

“Yeah, I think we should too!!! Sorry Ms. Lady, I’ll talk to you another time!!!” They spun on their heels and walked away, looking at each other in terror, but afraid to say another word.

“*... CRASH!*” But upon that sound, they both turned back, finding she’d jumped off the wall. The glass of the frame had shattered, but among the glass, half a human torso laid among it, cut off by the frame it was attached to.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“MS. RED…?!” Her once perfectly trimmed nails had grown into claws that pierced the carpet beneath, and her eyes had grown dark, her wide smile bringing no relief to them.

“Give it… To me…” The two exchanged looks, and turned right back around, knowing that right now, they needed to get the HELL out of there.

“BYE!!!”

She screeched, chasing after the two, and even as the door was slammed behind them, continued to bang against it, desperate to find it.

-----------

“”LILIAAAAAAAA!!!””

Everyone looked up from their game of Uno. Lilia himself looked back at his hand with a frown, deciding whether he should check on them, or destroy someone’s life with his three Wild cards, knowing this moment would never happen again…

“HURRY THE FUCK UP, LILIA!!!” Well! After that, he really should!

If you’ll excuse me, gentlemen!” Lilia just laid his hand out for all to see, reveling in the immediate horror upon all their faces, before walking towards the Guest Room. Of course, he was quickly followed by a gaggle of schoolchildren, who were all too nosy for their own good.

“... LILIA…!!!” Kalim looked TERRIFIED. “THERE’S A LADY IN HERE AND SHE WAS REALLY SWEET BUT THEN-”

“SHE TRIED KILLING US, KALIM!!!”

“WE DON’T KNOW THAT…!”

“OH, SO YOU WANNA OPEN THE DOOR AND FIND OUT?!?!”

“... Well, since LILIA’S here now-” Whatever was on the other side of the door slammed against it hard enough to make the hinges budge. Azul winced, and took a few steps back.

“You said that’s a HUMAN WOMAN in there?! What is she, a BODYBUILDER?!” Jade pressed his ear to the wall, eyes widening at the inhuman growls from within.

“It sounds more like Floyd when someone steals his snacks, than a human.”

“HEY! SHUT IT, JADE!”

“Oh, you know I’m right!”

“NOT NOW, YOU TWO!!!” Realizing nothing would get done at this rate, Malleus manifested his staff.

“Human or not, this is clearly someone who wishes to cause harm to us. I shall spare no mercy, in that case.” Kalim froze, waving his hands.

“WAIT WAIT WAIT!!! MALLEUS, I SWEAR SHE’S SUPER NICE, I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED-”

“*BANG*” Cater wasn’t able to hold the door on his own. It was slammed off the hinges. Malleus immediately shot a blast of ice out, only for it to completely miss.

He’d been expecting a human… Not half of one on the ground.

-----------

The lights were on in Ramshackle as expected, though the cat beside them huffed.

“Nyegh… I STILL think you should’ve told them all to scram!!! I mean, who just crashes someone’s house when they’re not even HOME?!?!”

“Night Ravens. You know this, Grim.” [Name] sighed, grateful as they finally reached the front door. “Besides, they said it was an emergency!”

“And if it AIN’T?”

“Then we’ll cross that path when we get there.” They readjusted the bouquet of roses in their arms, and fumbled with the knob.

“Nyegh, whatever… Also, why’d you buy those stupid flowers anyways?!”

“Well, I’ve been feeling nostalgic lately… So I wanted to have some roses for the dorm!”

“Yeah, but why’d you BUY them? Doesn’t Hornton grow them? He’s so whipped for you that he’d probably give you some if you’d asked.”

“Wha- he is NOT whipped for me…!” They finally got the door opened, and the two stepped inside. They were so immersed in conversation, they didn’t notice the pile of Reticent Gazes on the table nearby, all watching them. While [Name] DID hear the screams and crashes, they could only roll their eyes, knowing more trouble must have broken out.

“Nyeh, he’s TOTALLY whipped for ya~”

“Do you even know what that means?!”

“Uhhhhh… Look, Ace says it, so it’s GOTTA be true!!!”

“Ugh… Whatever!” They entered the Lounge, and frowned, finding it empty. “... Okay, I guess everyone’s in the Guest Room, then.”

“Nyegh… It’s gonna be so cramped in there…”

“Tell me about it.” The two turned the corner, and froze, finding the hall thick with smoke, leaves, and ice along its walls.

“N-NYA… OUR HOUSE!!!”

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!?!” As per Night Raven Instinct when they were caught, all their heads whipped back, save Cater, who struggled to sit up, covered in scratches. However, when [Name] locked eyes with a new, yet familiar pair of eyes that narrowed in on their bouquet, fear filled their entire soul.

“OH FUCK!!!” They grabbed Grim and BOLTED. It was no good getting answers now if they were DEAD LATER.

-----------

“... Phew!” The purple Reticent Gaze stared blankly at me, yet oddly enough, it seemed pleased about its new spot in Sam’s storeroom. The three patches were arranged in their own frame beside it, and also seemed thrilled being out of the public eye, with other oddities as their neighbors.

“Man, that looks great, Lil’ Demon~!”

“Doesn’t it? And since they’re together, they won’t get lonely!” I turned back, finding the last of the craft supplies tucked into boxes, and placed in the corner for proper disposal later. “... Though, I gotta say, Sam… I’m surprised you didn’t know about the recall until today.”

“Me too, Lil’ Demon… But with everything going on with You-Know-Who, it’s just been IMPOSSIBLE to keep up with everything happening!”

“So true!” We stepped back into the shop, ready to continue the day ahead.

“Oh! I do gotta ask though… What happened to the red devil, and the other one? That first painting you made?”

“Oh, them? We have them out in the halls of the school! We found a way to curb Lady’s bloodlust for roses, so now she and the first Reticent Gaze are together by some of the school’s other haunted paintings! They’ve really been getting along with Rosalia! … I know they’re just paintings, so we should probably destroy them, but…”

I trailed off, unable to speak it into words. At the end of the day, paintings were an extension of one’s own thoughts and feelings, their hopes and dreams… Even now, with how little I could remember of my own memories, it was something from the very world those canvases came from that I never forgot.

“Hey.” Sam pat my shoulder. “You got a lotta heart, Lil’ Demon. I’m sure they appreciate that.”

“... Thanks, Sam.” I grabbed my bags, and with one last wave, made my way back home. Grim decided to stay back and ‘supervise’ the other while they cleaned everything, so it gave me a brief moment to relax with my thoughts…

“... Ugh…” However, it wasn’t long after leaving Sam’s, where I felt my heart grow heavy, before it weighed me down. I fell to my knees, staring up to the stars above.

“... I… I COULD’VE MADE ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS REAL WITH THOSE PAINTS…!!!”

Alas… It was not meant to be… Yet this day would still haunt me for eternity… (But also I don’t think Malleus would be thrilled if I could do that, so perhaps it was for the best…)

Chapter Text

“Ah, pardon me-”

I acted as if I didn’t see or hear him, just like always, and like usual, he huffed, knowing that giving chase would look improper for someone of his status.

… Of course, if I was really worried about status, I would have humored that man. Give a fake smile, and make mindless small talk, you know. Besides, it wasn’t like I had anything better to do. Despite my status as Head Prefect of NRC, most of my days were spent huddled away in Ramshackle doing paperwork. Hell, despite how long I’d been here, I didn’t even have a single friend… Just a perfectly boring life, with no real worries, and the crushing solitude that accompanied it. 

At least no one would miss me tomorrow-

“As I said-” Sparks of green popped before my eyes, and suddenly, I was beneath his shadow. “Pardon me.”

“Ah…!” I looked to the ground. It seemed today he wasn’t willing to let me escape. “Sorry. I must not have noticed you there.” I knew if Sebek were here, he would have killed me for ‘disrespecting’ him, but admittedly, I wish he was… It would’ve made my day easier. “If you need assistance with anything, I’m sure you could find someone more suited to assist you.”

“Oh? I am in no need of assistance, child of man.” Even without seeing it, I could hear how his lips curled into a mischievous grin, akin to a spoiled child. “You are from Ramshackle, yes? The Head Prefect… I simply could not help my curiosities and wished to speak to you! … However…” His laugh was deep, rich like velvet, and rang heavenly upon my ears, yet it only made my gut twist in a terror I could not describe. “If I didn’t know any better… I would say you’ve made many valiant efforts to avoid me. I could call it an accident the first few times, but as it’s been months, wouldn’t it be more accurate to call it a coincidence, at this point?”

“... W-well…” Even if I lied, we’d both know the truth. Even so, I wasn’t about to tell Malleus Draconia of all people to his face. “My apologies for giving you that impression. Now, if you’ll excuse me-” He blocked my path. Without thinking, I glared at him. His irises narrowed into deathly sharp slits, chilling my blood into ice, before blowing out wide. For just a brief moment, I swore his skin grew flush with rich lavender, but the frown that overtook him convinced me I was beginning to hallucinate.

“... Ramshackle Prefect…” He crossed his arms, fingers gripping tight onto his sleeve. “Pray tell… Have I done something to offend? If so, I wish you would share…” I couldn’t tear away from his gaze. His eyes, inhuman, gleamed so bright in the dim light of the library, more beautiful than anything I could even dream… My heart ached, wanting desperately to be lost in them, but that same ache wailed in agony, and I felt my fists tremble at my sides.

‘Something's wrong, something’s wrong, something’s wrong…’

“... [Name]?” 

He blinked. That split second was just enough. I tore my gaze away, turning with my back towards him, and did my best not to break into a sprint.

“Don’t call me that.” My throat felt dry, and even breathing hurt, but I did my best to sound confident. “We’re not even acquaintances. We’re just two people who happen to attend the same school.”

“And what if I wish to be more? Friends, even. Surely you wish for the same thing…” A hand found its way upon my shoulder, and I felt my skin crawl. Even through his gloves, it was freezing, almost as if the man behind me were more akin to a corpse. “I’ve noticed the glances you’ve spared my way; I’ve even heard that you’ve spent many hours alone in these walls, researching into my very existence. It’s fair to assume that at the very least, you are intrigued by me, is it not-”

“DON’T TOUCH ME!!!” I smacked his hand away. I imagine it hardly hurt, but he still held it close to his heart, eyes wide in surprise. “... I don’t care how good of a mage you are, or that you’re a prince, or, or… ANYTHING about you!!! All I know is that there’s SOMETHING I don’t like about you, Draconia!!!”

“... Is that so?” He sighed. “Then please, tell me how I may alleviate these worries of yours, if not for me, for our fellow prefects’ sakes-”

“YOU’RE NOT EVEN LISTENING TO ME!!!” I wanted to toss myself into the closest bookshelf and hope it crushed me entirely. “There is NOTHING you can do!!! You wanna make me happy?! Then leave. Me. ALONE!!!”

“[Name], wait-” I stomped away, hearing his heels click after me. “I swear, I only have your best wishes in mind-”

“Oh PLEASE! What could you POSSIBLY know about my wishes, Hornton?!” I froze. “... Hornton…?”

His own steps paused after me. My head felt… Heavy, and my heart pounded harder. I wasn’t sure if it was trying to tell me something, or just kill me already. “Who’s…?”

---

“Do not worry, my love… Just close your eyes and sleep, a thousand years will pass by in the blink of an eye…”

---

I looked him in the eyes. Those eyes, once deep and rich, stubbornly mischievous, and full of love… And they still held every single ounce of it.

“... Prefect?” Perfectly long lashes blinked, sorrow etched deeply into his alabaster skin. I had no idea if his disguise had worn off, or if I was simply waking up, and seeing reality. “... You’re shaking-”

“Malleus?” 

---

“Ah… Yet another fit, my dear… To think that nightmares would dare to plague you, despite my blessing… No worries, I shall deliver sweet dreams to you myself.”

---

I held his face. He didn’t move an inch, staring directly into my eyes, unblinking, as if he’d drown even a second without them.

---

“[Name]… I don’t understand. What is it that ails you so? I’ve rid your dreams of anyone vicious, of any threats… Yet you still reject me… FEAR me, if not worse even… Are we not lovers? By your own word, no less? ... Explain it to me. Why have all your tales ended the ways they have...?”

…

“... We shall try again. This time will be correct, I assure you.”

---

“... What did you do, Malleus.” 

His hands clasped upon mine, almost burning with their chill, yet he refused to let go.

“Why does it matter, [Name]?”

---

“... I don’t think I could ever forgive you for this, [Name]... This… Pain, this horrific agony…! It hurts… More than rusted iron, more than dreary solitude… Even tearing my wings from my spine, inch by agonizing inch, would be a luxury in comparison to hearing your terrors, every night… Much less WATCHING them!!!”

---

“... Tell me, my love…” He leaned into my touch, ink staining my hands deeply. “Tell me what has been causing you such wretched dreams, and I shall ensure you will have nothing but sweet memories after…”

“... I don’t want to dream, Malleus. I want to wake up. In reality. With our friends.” He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath, his horns glowing softly, almost completely dim, almost… Right.

“... You have no need for reality.” His lips pressed a soft kiss to my palm. “It is a cruel thing. In here, I can protect you, and make sure worries never plague your heart ever again…”

“Malleus… Don’t do this.” 

He laughed.

“Would you rather try and stop me? I don’t think I could forgive you for that, either-”

I kicked him.

“... Ah?” … It did nothing. Unsurprisingly. But he released me, staring down at my foot. “... Beloved? Did you just-”

“WAKE UP!!!” I grabbed a book, and tossed it at him. He waved it away with ease, yet instead of crashing onto the ground, it simply faded away to grey, as was the entire library. 

“... [Name]...” He smiled. “I am not the one dreaming, you understand this, yes?” He stepped towards me, his tail swaying wildly in excitement, even as I tossed another book at him. This one faded before it even got close, and I looked around in terror, hardly anything left of the library, save its exit, and black vines began to cover the walls. “... Now, calm yourself, and we can make a new dream for you, one with just the two of us…”

“... No…” As the vines crept closer, I stumbled back, feeling for the door’s handle. “No, that’s… That’s not what I want, Malleus, you shouldn’t want that either…!” Finding it, I ripped the door open, finding nothing but emptiness on the other side, pitch-black, just like the thorns.

“There is nowhere else to go, [Name]... Please, make this easy on us both, won’t you?” I could hardly see anything now. Had it not been for his own light, that searing green, I would never have noticed his hand being held out to me. “My dearest, my love, my treasure… We’ll have a true happily ever after, one to make even those of fairy tales look wretched…”

I looked into his eyes, so deep and rich, so full of love… Even my hand began reaching for his, wanting to feel it's comforting chill once more…

… But it was all completely wrong.

“... I’m sorry, Malleus.” I threw myself into the pit before my fears could stop me, watching his loving gaze twisted into terror as I plunged into the inky depths below, blotting my life in black.

“[NAME]...!!!”

Not even his own light remained as I sunk deep into the endless sea, feeling my throat coated thick with ink. I couldn’t even move my hands through it to clutch at it, only able to cough fruitlessly as I felt my body scream, praying that at least my death, as extreme it may be, would only last a single night’s dream…

So I closed my eyes, and hoped its end came swiftly…

-----------

“... ?!”

My eyes bolted open, yet I couldn’t move my body. Even if I wanted to, it hurt so badly, that even trying to sit up felt like it’d tear myself in half…

“... Haah… Haah…” I looked towards the voice, the source unexpectedly beneath me. It was now I registered Diasomnia with sleeping bodies all across the floor. Malleus trembled at the foot of the throne beneath me, his grip on my wrist gentle, yet unrelenting. His entire body was drenched in ink from head-to-toe, whereas I was perfectly clean…

“... Never…” He held on tighter. “I will never… EVER… Allow you to leave me…” He raised his free hand, eyes sharp with malice as magic gathered upon his fingertips. “Not you… Not Lilia, nor Silver, or Sebek… Even if it takes a thousand years, or an eternity… I’ll even forgive every way you’ve wronged me, but I will NEVER forgive THAT…!” 

“M… Ma…” Tears pricked at my eyes, but I tried ignoring the pain, and the bitter aftertaste in my mouth. “... No…!” He placed his hand upon my heart, and my eyes grew thick with delayed exhaustion. Even if I’d wanted to fight back, there was no way I could now.

“... I won’t let you leave me…” I tried reaching for him, but my hand fell limp to my side. As my eyes fell shut, all I could remember was his tears, running thick alongside the ink dripping pathetically off him.

“... Please… You can't leave me…”

----------- 

“... ?!”

My eyes bolted open. I felt… Horrible…

“... Ugh…” The entire bed was drenched in sweat… Even my hands trembled from whatever nightmare I woke up from… “... What the hell happened…?”

I looked out the window, finding the sky was still dark. Even so, I knew I wouldn’t get more sleep… And even if I couldn’t remember the dream, I was afraid to go back to it. (They'd been getting awfully bad, as of late...)

“... Well… I guess a walk in the forest wouldn’t be so bad…” I struggled to crawl out of bed and didn’t even bother to change from my pajamas. I just grabbed a cloak and trotted down the stairs. (Besides, it wasn’t like there was anyone to even judge me. As far as I knew, there wasn’t a single human left around but me…)

“... Haah…” I popped on my slippers, and stepped out into the night air, almost regretting my decision to leave as the cold nipped my ankles. Hardly anything was awake at this hour, save the occasional owl, but it wasn’t like that would bring me much comfort… All an owl could contribute to a conversation was a “who,” after all. Not a when, or a where, or even a why. My own self, on the other hand? Well, I could answer all those things, and more! ... Though, even if I DID have a real person to converse with, I wouldn’t know the first place to even start…

As I wandered the dirt path I’d long since worn, I searched through the trees, trying to find the owl that coo’d for me, only to find a pair of eyes stare straight back at me.

“... Huh?” It took me a few moments to register the… Human??? They looked human. But like, it’s eyes were glowing, and mine didn’t do that… Wait were those horns…? “... GYAH…!!!” 

“... Oh?” I stumbled backwards, and tripped, uncaring of how rocks and twigs pierced into my palm as I crawled away from them. “My, my… To think I’d come across a child of man, of all things…”

He stepped into the moonlight, and now I could make them out better… But they definitely weren’t human. Something close! … But not human. (Also very tall???)

“... U-uh…” They dressed rather simply, linen shirt and slacks, yet the embroidery upon it was more marvelous than anything I could dream to make. “... Hi…?”

… Ah… My first interaction with someone other than me… And I already fumbled the bag horrifically.

“... Hmph~” Apparently, it was funny at least, so I’d take that as a good thing. “I was beginning to believe my travels for another were in vain… It is a pleasant surprise, being proven wrong like this.” They held a hand towards me, and I hesitated. I mean, I knew nothing about them, for all I know, they were planning on hurting me… But when I looked into those chartreuse eyes, there was something… Familiar, about them…

… Besides… It wasn’t as if I had anything to lose. Worst case scenario, I get killed, and I die. Best case scenario… Maybe, just maybe… I could survive those terrible thoughts that have haunted me for years… And maybe even make a friend, while at it…

“... So…” I took their hand. It was giant, compared to my own, swallowing it completely, yet gentle… “... What’s your name?”

“My name?” He grinned, eyes twinkling in mischief. “Such a personal thing to share, is it not? I know, why not give me a name of your choosing?”

“Wha-okay, FINE, but it’s gonna be something mean, like… Err…” I looked him up and down, and the strangest idea came to mind, in the form of some… Weird, kinda obnoxious voice that felt somehow nostalgic. “... Hornton!”

“Hornton! Whatever made you think of that~?”

“... I don’t know.” I tried thinking about it, but my head began to ache. Whenever that happened, I usually just laid miserably in bed until it stopped, but I ignored it this time, hoping the dizziness would decide to spare me for once. “A-anyway… I’m not telling you my name either, so YOU choose something…!”

“... Hmm…” He held his chin, thinking deeply, until his eyes twinkled. “I shall be kind and spare you an insult, so I will settle with [Name].”

“... HUH?!” 

“... Oh?” He grinned ear-to-ear. “Is that your true name?”

“... NO.” His laughter only made my face grow hotter. “You know what! I don’t need company, actually!!! Bye bye, and good riddance…!” I spun on my heel and heard him follow after.

… Really, I should have told him off, but… Even if I actually wanted to, even obnoxious company sounded better than being alone for another day…

I don’t think I could handle it…

Chapter Text

“I’m stealing your House Leader.”

“GYAH!!!” Before Trey or Cater got a single word in, I dragged Riddle away. “UNHAND ME THIS INSTANT, [LAST NAME]-”

“NO.” He fought like hell to escape my grip, but by some miracle, I managed to pull him into a spare classroom and locked the door behind us. “I’M DESPERATE.”

“FOR WHAT?!” He finally smacked me off, face already several hues too dark as he straightened his uniform. “What in TWISTED WONDERLAND is so important to you… You KIDNAP me…?!?!”

I fell to my knees and slammed my head against the ground.

“... HELP ME…” He tried sneaking to the door, but I snatched his ankle. “PLEASE… I’M DESPERATE, AND YOU’RE THE ONLY HOPE I CAN THINK OF AT THIS POINT!!!”

“... Er…” He straightened his uniform a second time, “I suppose if you're acting like this [Last Name], it must be… In that case, I shall lend you my card soldiers-”

“NO.” I freed his ankles, and grabbed his shoulders instead. “NOT ACE, OR DEUCE, OR TREY, OR EVEN CAY-CAY. I need YOU. More specifically…!” I pulled a handful of cash out of my wallet. I knew it was nothing compared to his own finances, but I really was desperate. “I need you to make me a crossword puzzle…!”

“... Eh?” He bluescreened.

“... Look.” All my energy gone, I fell into the closest seat, rubbing my eyes. “Long story short, I need a distraction. Not for me, for Malleus. And it needs to be something good. Something that’ll buy me lots of time. If I pick some random puzzle from the daily jumble, he’ll figure it out in five seconds. Best I could do otherwise is pick one exclusive to celebrities, but knowing him, he’ll just ask Lilia for help…!”

“... I see…?” Clearly, he didn’t, but Riddle pitied me enough to take a seat, rather than bolt for the door again. “... So, you want me to… Make a crossword. For House Leader Draconia?”

“Yeah. I’ll pay you. It just needs to be like. Good enough to distract him for a week.” When I held out the money again, he just waved it off with a scoff.

“Ugh, just keep it for Ramshackle… We’ll consider it future payment for any damages my students will cause… As for your proposition…” He smiled. “Though I should refuse, considering how violently you handled me… I cannot deny my own interest! With the normal crosswords I write for Heartslabyul, I find myself having to hold back, lest none of them ever be completed… So this shall be a welcome change of pace!”

“Ah…! THANK YOU…!!!” I fell to my knees and bowed again. “THANK YOU THANK YOU RIDDLE, I OWE YOU-”

“You do.” … Yep. Here it comes. “So, I shall accept on two conditions.”

“... Alright. Shoot.” He cleared his throat.

“Firstly, you shall allow for me to hold a tea party in the Ramshackle guest room and forbid any others from using it that day. Our Unbirthday parties have been rather… Rowdy, as of late, and having one perfect party would do my sanity some good…”

“Yeah yeah, sure. Just give me a date and its okay’d.” 

“Wonderful!” With that, he grinned madly. “And my second request is that you tell me why exactly you need a ‘distraction’ for Draconia-”

“I will do literally anything else.”

“I do not want anything else.”

“... Ugh… Fine…” I would simply have to remember this, and make him regret it later. “So he’s been kinda upset lately because I went on a trip with some of the others, and’s been super clingy cause of it. While normally I would humor him… Well…”

“Go on…” I knew he would lose all respect for me… But which was more important? Riddle’s Respect? Or my peace?

“... I need to last minute crunch for an anime convention downtown because of said trip this weekend…”

“... Anime…?” Actually, maybe dying was better. “... Ah… Aren't those the cartoons Shroud enjoys-”

“Is it a yes or no, Riddle.”

“... One more question.” GOD… “What exactly are you ‘crunching’ for?”

“Don’t make me answer that…” He grinned widely. “... FINE… I have a story I need to get finished so I can sell it at the event… It I don’t get it done soon, there’s no way I can get my printer to sell enough copies. Happy?!”

“No.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?!” He scowled.

“You mean to tell me you’ve written something, and never thought to SHARE it with me?!”

“Wha-Riddle, why WOULD I?! You don’t even like those sort of things!!!”

“Ah, well…! While I suppose that’s true…” He mumbled his last words, so quietly, I almost missed them. “... I was under the impression we were friends… And friends share these sort of things…”

“... Ugh…” Great. In a split second, I went from desperation, relief, humiliation, and now guilt. “We are friends, Riddle… Not sharing everything doesn’t diminish that.” 

“... I suppose you are right.” Immediately, he brightened up. “... However, I still expect a copy of your story-”

“NO.”

“Then NO. CROSSWORD.”

… Which was more important to me… The crossword… Or my dignity…

-----------

“Heeeey Mal Mal~” His ears immediately perked up at my voice. He looked down from the roof of Ramshackle, where I could only assume he was being extra waiting for me. (If not that, then he was admiring the school gargoyles from a distance.

“Ah, [Name]... What a surprise.” He didn’t make an effort to hide the sarcasm from his voice. “And here I was, beginning to think you would try and sneak past me!”

“No, no… If anything, I had an idea for a fun little bet we could make~”

“... Oh~?” Like that, he was right in front of me. “And what would that be, child of man?”

“This.” I passed him the slip of paper. His smile wavered as he glanced at the crossword. “I bet that you won’t be able to finish this crossword in a week.”

“... A crossword…” He raised a brow, looking back at me. “And if I do?”

“I will do literally whatever you want for a week, as long as it doesn’t compromise my grades or social life.”

“... Interesting…” He smirked. “And if I fail?” I couldn’t just say the same thing back. He wouldn’t put any effort into beating it since in his mind, ‘well, if I shall be spending a week with them regardless, then I shall be victorious either way!’ So I had to be smart here…

“... If you don’t get it completed in time…” I tapped my chin, thinking hard. “... Then no ice cream dates for a week!”

“What…?!”

“You heard me… But we don’t have to, if you don’t wanna!” I took the paper from him. “If you’re worried that you can’t finish the crossword, then-”

“I can do it!!!” He snatched it back, and straightened out the creases. “I can even do it with my eyes closed!!!”

“... Are you sure~?”

“Of course I am!!!” Fireflies began to surround him. “So enjoy your days while you can, [Name]... For they are QUITE numbered…!!!”

… And with that, he was gone…

“... Oh thank god.” I scrambled for my keys and blasted through the front door. Grim looked up from the Bintendo GS I bought him with a smile. 

“Oh, hey henchman!! Perfect timing-”

“BUSY!!!”

“NYEH?!?!”

Without another word, I tossed myself into the spare bedroom I converted into an office and got to work on my story.

-----------

He squinted at the puzzle. It was only the first question, yet he was already a bit lost… A rarity, with these things… But surely Lilia would know.

“... Lilia.”

“Yes, Malleus?” The elder took a seat at the table next to him. Unconsciously, Malleus moved the paper closer so he could see.

“I am in need of assistance with this.” Lilia’s own eyes squinted; no doubt seared beyond repair from hours of staring at that screen of his. “It says this column is ‘an important thing at the end of a shoelace…’ As much as it pains me to admit, I’ve never once thought about what that could be…”

“... Huh…” This time, he grabbed the paper. “And it’s five letters long?”

“Indeed.”

“... Well, this is an easy fix!” Lilia took his phone out. “We’ll just have to look it up-”

“NO.”

“Waugh…!!!” Malleus snatched it from his hands, and slammed it face-down on the table. They both winced, hearing it crack. “... Really, Malleus!!! You NEED to stop breaking phones!!!”

“I-it was unintentional…!!!” He looked back at the paper. (It was softer on his eyes than Lilia’s glare.) “Anyway… I would prefer to solve this without cheating.”

“... Haaah… Very well…” Lilia poured himself a cup of tea. He had a feeling this might take a while… “Since we’re stumped on this one, how about we return to it, and try another one?”

“Agreed. Now, what is the next question here…?”

-----------

… Three days…

Three days… Of non-stop typing and formatting…

But finally…

“... Haha…” I rose from my seat, looking at my masterpiece. “I’m free… I’m FREE-”

“[NAAAAAAAAAAME]!!!” … Even now… I couldn’t enjoy my victory… But alas, that was the fate of cat owners everywhere.

“WHAT, GRIM?!” He started scratching the door. 

“OPEN UP!!! THIS IDIOT KEEP ASKING FOR YOU AND WON’T LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”

“I ALREADY SAID NO VISITORS!!!”

I DON’T CARE!!! BESIDES, HE SAID IT WAS IMPORTANT!!!”

“... Ugh, FINE…!!!” It wouldn’t hurt me to take a break and get an actual meal anyway… I unlocked the door, and immediately locked eyes with a… Concerningly happy pair.

“Ah, [Last Name]!” Practically bursting at the seams in joy, Riddle pushed his way through, a thick binder in his arms. 

“... Hey Riddle…?” Grim strolled in, stealing my seat for himself, but I was too frightened of Riddle’s good mood to really care. 

“So… How is your story going? Has it been published yet?” 

“Uh… I just finished it, actually…” He tried taking a peek at my screen, but I quickly minimized it. It wasn’t even anything scandalous, it was just… I feel like he’d say something that made me crumble to dust, and I don’t know if my frail constitution could handle that. “I just need to get it printed tomorrow-”

“Wonderful! Then I’m not too late, it seems!”

“... Huh.” With that he slammed the binder on the table.

“NYAGH…!!!” Grim jumped at the impact, and even I felt ready to perish at the countless pages of crosswords, all of varying degrees of difficulty and subjects.

“... Riddle…?” Against my will, I continued flipping through them. “... What’s this?”

“Is it not obvious? I have written more crosswords! I happened to have some free time on my hands and thought to myself, ‘wouldn’t it be a lovely to finish a good book, and then be treated to a crossword at the end?’ Now, while I am no writer, you are, so we can make that dream a reality!” He flipped all the way to the back, to where an… Honest to god crossword INDEX was. “Now, as I had no knowledge of your story’s plot, I simply made many different ones, with different themes! Surely we will find one that works for your book!”

“... Dude…” I should say no, but… He was so excited… (Plus Trey might kill me if I did. Or at least trap me in a TeethTalk or something.) “... How many crosswords are there…?”

“Hm? There are 162, to be exact. Why?” Even Grim balked. He snatched the book, rushing through the pages. 

“THAT MANY?! … N-nyehe… You MUST’VE done some of these WAY earlier, then…!”

“What? Of course not. You act as if that’s so impressive… If I had more time, I would’ve made far more!” He took back the book, and flipped to a certain page. “Now, if you would like my suggestion, this is the best puzzle of the batch. However-” “He flipped to a completely different page, as if he’d practiced this. “This is the most beginner friendly-”

… I… May have made a mistake…

-----------

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THE END OF A SHOELACE IS, SILVER?!”

“... Do you?” The other three members looked right at Sebek.

“Well, I… Uh…!” His face grew hot, before he crossed his arms with a huff, and sulked in his seat. “... NO…”

“Oh. That’s unfortunate.” Malleus rubbed his eyes. 

“Gentlemen… It has been six days…” He looked down upon the paper, which only had three spots answered. “... And we are not even halfway on this wretched beast.”

“Like I said before, Malleus-” Lilia reached for his phone again. “We’ll just look it up-”

“NO!!! AS I’VE SAID LILIA, NO CHEATING-”

“IT’S BEEN SIX DAYS!!! IF NONE OF US HAVE SOLVED IT NOW, WE WON’T SOLVE IT TOMORROW!!!” Truly, he wanted to burn this scrap of wasted print into a crisp-

“Oh, wait.” Silver grabbed his pen. “It’s an ‘aglet.’”

“WHA-” Sebek sputtered. “AN AGLET?!?! What kind of ridiculous word is THAT?!” Lilia counted the blocks as he slid the paper over, and beamed in pride.

“Why, it is the right number of letters… How did you think of it, Silver?”

“Oh, nothing special.” He filled it in and slid it back between all of them. “I just remembered; Floyd was talking to someone about shoes in class today. He mentioned it.” Malleus forced a smile, staring down at the paper that was still so horrifically empty…

“... Splendid…” His eyes read over the next question again, still having no idea what it could be. “We have one measly, pathetic day to complete this horrific puzzle, or I’m as good as dead!”

“Now Malleus-” Lilia pat his head. “Don’t be dramatic.”

“It’s how I cope, Lilia…”

Sebek snatched the paper, trying to find a single answer to keep up with Silver’s pace.

-----------

“Hello there. Would you be interested in some crosswords?”

The Cumulus Strike cosplayer was just… Baffled by the question.

“... Crosswords?” Unlike every other person at the convention who was clearly a weeb of some kind, Riddle was a nice suit, and beaming with pride as he held up a collection of freshly-printed crosswords.

(Thank god he paid for them… AND his ticket to the con…)


“Yes, crossword puzzles! I wrote them all myself!” The Cumulus cosplayer looked at me, and I gave a smile… However, the threat of ‘don’t you dare hurt my friend’s feelings or I will Literally kill you’ was VERY obvious in it.

“... You know what? Sure!” They pulled out their wallet and passed him the Madol. “Wouldn’t be the weirdest thing I bought at a con…” 

“Thank you very much!” Crosswords in hand, they made their way, and Riddle turned to me with a wide smile.

“Did you see that?! I sold another one!!!”

“Let’s go, dude!!!” We shared a high five. “It’s five today, and then a hundred tomorrow!”

“Exactly! … Oh, but this is only a one-day event, isn’t it? I suppose that means it’ll be quite some time before another such opportunity will arise…”

“Yeah, but that’s not a bad thing, either.” I fixed my own display, which was beginning to run low as well. “It makes things like this more special and gives you more time to prepare. I know if I tried going to these events back-to-back it would kill me… That’s why my next one isn’t until next month!”

“... You will be selling again next month?” … Yep. Here it comes. “... Well… In that case, since we are friends-”

“I’ll think about it, just don’t blindside me with last minute production orders again!”

He said nothing, but stood a little straighter, an excited smile on his face.

-----------

The day was almost over…

“... Haah…” I tossed my bag on the floor and kicked off my shoes. It was fun, and unexpected, but exhausting, nonetheless. “Thank god… My feet are killing me-”

“[Name].”

“GYAH…!!!” Thunder crackled outside, revealing the man standing in the middle of my room. “MALLEUS, YOU SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME.”

“Apologies.” He didn’t sound very sorry. “Now… Would you do me a favor and tell me what time it is, dearest?”

“... Huh?” I grabbed my phone. “It’s, uhh… 11:49. Why are you asking?” With a wide grin, he passed me a slip of paper. Immediately seeing another crossword, my eyes checked out.  “Malleus, I love you, I really do, but I am NOT doing a crossword with you right now-”

“Our bet.” He crossed his arms. “I have finished the puzzle before the week’s end, so you must bend to my will for a week. Have you forgotten?”

“... Huh?” I thought back to the past week of tunnel vision and stress. “... FUCK…!”

“Hmph, do not fret~ I am not so cruel as to prohibit your much needed rest~” He took the puzzle from me, and placed it aside, guiding me to bed. “However… Once you wake, do prepare to cater to my every beck and call! I shall be quite selfish tomorrow to make up for our recent lack of time together, I can assure you.”

… Yeah. I deserved this, actually. (I should’ve just been honest about things...)

Chapter Text

“You know Cater, I know you have ridiculous ideas a lot, and unfortunately I go along with them too much, but this seems ridiculous even for our standards.”

“Oh, c’mon, [Nay-Nay]~!” He was deep in the trenches of the bridal section, and pulled out two different gowns. One was a puffy ballgown, pitifully flat without it’s petticoat, and the other a chic, sleeveless A-line. “We’d get so many likes…!!!”

“Yeah??? At WHO’S expense?!”

“It’ll be FUNNN, trust me!!!” He tossed the dresses at me, before going back into the selves. My arms were beginning to hurt from the countless other outfits he’d handed me. “Besides, June is WEDDING SEASON. How could we NOT take advantage of that?!”

“Why not just do literally ANYTHING ELSE.”

“Because everyone else is doing anything else!” Grabbing one last dress from the pile, he smirked, tossing it over his arm. “Alright, time to try these on~!”

“You have 10 minutes before I ditch you.”

“Wha-?!” I was shoved outside the dressing room, and without skipping a beat, I crammed all the dresses into his arms before he shut the door behind him. “Bestie, are you for REAL?! There’s no way I can try all these in only ten minutes…!”

“THEN PICK YOUR FAVS AND RUN! I’m HUNGRY, Cater…!”

“Fine, fine…!” Much to my relief, there was a chair nearby… I took a seat, grateful for the brief respite on my legs. “... Wait, I forgot a petticoat!!! Go get me one!!!”

“... Ugh… FINE…” I grabbed my belongings again, and tried to recall where they were at. “BUT YOU’RE PAYING FOR MY SUIT!”

“Whatever, just hurry up!!!”

… The things I did for friendship…

---

“... Okay. Be a hundred with me.” He did a spin in the ballgown. “... Too much?”

“... Uhhh…” The dress was very poofy, especially the shoulders… “... Where are we taking the photos?”

“The park! All that nature’s gonna make the gown really pop!”

“... Do you think you could even get around in that???”

“... Weeeeell…~” He did another twirl. “Not reeeeally… But it’s the most dramatic…~”

“... Are you gonna change your mind and get it anyway if I say no?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

“THEN DON’T ASK MY OPINION!!!” He huffed, picking up his skirt, and strutted back into the dressing room. The glimpse of his sneakers beneath the giant skirt made the sight rather comical.

“Well maybe I wanted to be flattered…!” He slammed the door behind him.

“... Okay, fine, fine… You look stunning, Cater.” He peeked over the door. (I had no idea how, quite frankly.)

“Aww~ You mean that~?”

“I do. If anything, it’s a problem… You look too good. You’re gonna overshadow me in the pics!”

“... Well… I am the bride, so…~” He gave a cheeky smile, resting his cheek on his arms.

“Damn. Okay. I want a divorce then.”

“Wha-AAACK…!!!” Two screams followed as he crashed, both the same voice.

“Are you okay?!” The door opened, two different Caters stumbling out, one in his casual clothes, and the true one in his now crumpled gown. “... Dude, why do you have a clone???”

“Because this dress is a NIGHTMARE to get into without help, and I didn’t see you offering to help me…!”

… Yeah, this was gonna be a long day.

-----------

It was not often he took trips to other dorms.

The students of Heartslabyul murmured to themselves as Malleus passed through, his entourage following close behind. While Lilia spared kind glances, Sebek glared at anybody who was even an inch too close to his liege’s path…

“... Silver.” 

“Yes, milord?” They paused, the prince taking a moment to admire the fine craftsmanship of Heartslabyul’s dorm.

“You are certain that [Name] was here?”

“Yes. I saw them enter the mirror about an hour ago.”

“I see…” He didn’t bother to knock. With a flourish of his hand, the grand gates opened, and the group ascended the staircase, heels clicking with every step. The few students within made a beeline out of their path, and soon they approached the lounge, where their target was found, comfortable in his throne, which had been moved to look out the bay windows.

At the sight of them, all but Riddle grew silent. The other House Leader simply raised a brow and placed down his tea.

“... Draconia.” Riddle waved his hand. At that, the students all rose, and swiftly exited the room. Malleus smiled, taking a seat at the table, while Lilia stood at his side, with Silver and Sebek situating themselves at the door.

“Rosehearts.” The other House Leader poured him a cup of tea, not even bothering to inquire whether he wanted one lump, or two… Yet somehow, the boy knew what he’d choose. “Have you been well?”

“As one can be.” It was strange. Despite having every disadvantage, Rosehearts never seemed to fear him… If anything, he had the feeling that if the mood was sour, the boy would even try taking him down…

It wasn’t a bad feeling. Strange, but he quite liked it.

“Good.” The tea was perfectly warm. Not his preferred brew, but delectable, nonetheless. 

“It’s quite rare for you to visit other dorms… Is it right to assume you’ve come begging for my assistance?”

“Oh?” He couldn’t resist a smile. “Am I so easy to read?”

“To me, at least. I could see how frustrated you looked even from here.”

“My, my… I must take care to keep my emotions in check then.” Sebek opened his mouth, but with a quick glance, he stayed quiet. If it was anyone else, a more verbal demand might have been required, but the young lad did hold respect for Rosehearts, fortunately. “It is as you’ve said… I am in need of assistance.”

“Can I also assume it has to do with [Name]?”

“You are correct, but you are getting rather bold… Riddle.” He just smirked.

“As I’ve said before, Malleus. While I hold respect for your title and prowess, I shall not be intimidated by such things.”


“And if I am to punish you for such?” In an even bolder show, he poured another cup for himself, taking more time than needed, and making a silent show of it.

“... Then I shall simply retaliate as needed.” Lilia himself couldn’t resist a chuckle, not that Malleus could blame him.

“... Very well.” He was such an amusing human, after all. “Then, if you shall give me the pleasure, I would love to hear of [Name]’s whereabouts. I have searched campus for them all morning, yet have found no sign of them, not even of their familiar.”

“Grim?” Suddenly, Riddle looked exhausted. “How have you not? He’s been making a ruckus in my dorm all day…” As if on cue, a shrill chorus of screams was heard off in the distance. “... Trey… Can handle it…” His hands trembled. It was clear he was using all his power to avoid getting up and inspecting himself.

“I see…” That accounted for one. “Is [Name] with those First Years, then?”

“No, I believe they simply brought Grim for Trappola and Spade to watch. If I recall right, they left with Diamond-” His phone buzzed. “... Pardon me a moment, would you?” Malleus simply waved him off. Flustered, Riddle grabbed his phone, and awkwardly tapped across it. “... HUH?!”

Lilia’s own phone went off, and Silver and Sebek’s too. While the two retainers ignored it, albeit with raised brows, Lilia couldn’t resist checking his own. His face dropped at whatever vision he saw, and blazed his fingers across the screen, before snatching Riddle’s phone.

“Oh dear! This won’t do!”

“HEY!” Riddle lunged for it, but Lilia held it out of place, doing his best to delete it.

“Just a moment!!! I just need to-” A second hand snatched it. Malleus looked upon the screen, face blank at the image below. Both Lilia and Riddle grew pale, knowing the man’s horrid track record with phones.

“... Draconia. Please return my phone…”

His eye twitched.

“... Malleus…” Lilia very slowly reached for the rose-red phone. “Let’s all sit down, and have a nice cup of tea-”

“*CRRK…!*”


“GYAH…!!!”

“DRACONIA…!!!” It was now nothing but crimson dust, as bright red as Riddle’s face. “MY PHONE…!!!”

“... Oh?” He grinned. “Ah, my apologies, Rosehearts! I truly did not intend to break it!” Malleus dropped it into a neat pile on the table, and grabbed his staff. “Alas, something has come up, so if you’ll excuse me, I have business to attend to! Farewell!”

“A-ah…!” Sebek looked back to Riddle but dashed after Malleus. “COMING, MILORD…!!!” Silver sighed and nodded to Riddle.

“We shall be sure to replace your phone, Rosehearts.” Lilia just smacked his face.

“... One of these days… Maybe we’ll have just one week of no phone breaking…” He popped out of the room, soon following the others. Riddle just scooped the pile of dust into his hands, still processing it’s loss, before chasing after them.

“DRACONIA!!! DON’T YOU DARE LAY A HAND ON DIAMOND!!!”

No one had the right to punish HIS card soldiers…!

(... But also, he was going to kill Cater himself, since he was indirectly responsible for his phone’s untimely demise…)

-----------

“Ooh~” The group chat is popping off~! I’ll check the messages later!!” I groaned, already knowing Ace was almost certainly roasting my choice of tie, when a realization hit me.

“Hey, Cater…” He took a cute selfie with the ice cream we’d bought nearby, before giving it an actual lick. “Why didn’t you ask Trey to do this with you?? Wouldn’t that have been easier??”

“Tch, I did! … He said no.” 

“Ah.” I took a lick of my own cone. “Yeah. I don’t know why I didn’t think about that. But still, why me?!”

“Becaaaause, we’re besties~! … Oh, c’mon, let’s take another selfie together!” I leaned in close, and gave my best, still awkward smile. At least the pics he posted online would censor my face with an emoji… “... Oh, but also because you’re too nice to say no.”

“You know what, just for that, I’m never saying yes to you again.”

“Boo…!”

“Sorry! Should’ve thought about that before being rude~” I took another lick, but smugly, until I felt a drop of rain hit my face. “... Hey, Cater? Did you check the forecast today…?” He held a hand out, wide-eyed as another drop fell into his palm.

“Of course I did! It’s supposed to be sunny all day…” We looked to the sky, where clouds began to gather. I squinted, finding they held a green hue, and sighed.

“... Cater? Which group chat did you send that to?”

“Hm?” He pulled his phone back out. Or well. Just unlocked it again, since it was still in his hand. “The one with me, you, Acey, and Deucey, I’m pretty sure-... ACK…!!!” The sky rumbled. I had a feeling where this was going.

“... We should probably find somewhere to hide.”

“... Yeah…”

“... Alright! Pass me your cone!” Once I had them both in hand, he gathered his skirt in his hands. “Nearest gazebo should be to our right, now RUN!!!” Lightning crackled, and the rain started to shower. My poor suit was getting stained as we darted through the puddles, but it was nothing compared to the treatment of Cater’s poor dress… It’s beautiful, stark white was being dyed darker hues, and even his sneakers were getting it rough…

“YOU TOTES OWE ME FOR THIS, [NAME]!!!” We managed to make it through, despite looking like soaked rats.

“Wha-it’s YOUR mistake, idiot! Why do I owe you?!”

“Uh?? Because it’s YOUR boyfriend who ruined my dress?!”

“MY BOYFRIEND, NOT ME!!!” Lightning flashed again. Both of us flopped onto the closest bench, and watched the rain pour, while dejectedly finishing our damp ice cream cones.

“... Hey so. Like. Do you think a Dryft would pick us up right now?”

“Uh… Probably not.”

“... Yeah…” We’d just have to wait out the storm, or try and brute force it, and either way would be awful… “... Hey. You don’t owe me or anything, just to be clear… I mean, it is just a cheap dress so… Don’t be mad?” 

“... Dude…” I punched his shoulder. “You really think I’d be mad over something so ridiculous?”

“I’m just making sure…!” He slicked his bangs back. For once, he’d decided to wear his hair down, but it was beginning to mat to his face.

“Don’t worry, you’re all good…” I pulled out my phone and pulled him close. “Here. We’ll even take a selfie, so we can laugh back on this later!”

“Ugh, hell no! We look awful.”

“Too bad, now say cheese!”

“... Heh… Cheese~” Unlike his normal smile, this one was a bit awkward, but more genuine. 

“Perfect!” The rain lightened up just a tad, so I held a hand out. It was still rough, but not as bad. “I think if we wait a little longer, we should be good…”

“That’s good… I’ll check to see if there are any Dryfts, though.” As his fingers flew across the screen, I looked around the part. From the distance, I saw a figure approach, and squinted. 

“... Am… Am I hallucinating, or is the rain parting over there…?” Cater glanced over.

“... I think we’re both hallucinating…” However, as it came closer, it became clear that no, we weren’t. This person was literally parting the storm as they approached our humble gazebo.

My eyes locked with theirs, and all I could do was groan…

“... You know, Cater…” His eyes went wide. “Sometimes… I feel like I’m the protag of some weird comedy series… And I don’t know how to feel about that.”

“It does feel like weird things happen to you, a lot…” With a delicate step, Malleus stepped into the gazebo, his own gown perfectly pristine. Unlike Cater’s own dress, his was a sleek, pitch-black mermaid gown. It clung perfectly to his body, and flared out dramatically in deep purple hues at the bottom. His silver and emerald jewelry sparkled brightly like stars even within the dark, and I found myself having to fight to stay standing…

“... [Name].” He crossed his arms with a frown.

“... Hi.” My voice came out in a choked whisper. All Cater could do was shake his head.

“I see you’ve found someone else to amuse yourself with.” My brain short-circuited, too busy admiring how pretty he was. Cater stepped between us, trying his best to smile.

“Aha, don’t worry, Malleus~ We were just goofing around…!” The prince’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. 

“I am aware. I’ve seen the pictures. You are awfully brave for attempting to steal my mate from me, Diamond… I’m not sure whether to commend such bravery, or slay you for such foolishness.” Thunder snapped through the air again, snapping me out of my stupor.

“... Wait!! Wait, wait, wait, wait!!!” 

“... Yes?” He lightened his glare just the slightest.

“Malleus. I told you we were doing this. Like. Word for word.” He raised a brow. “... I’m being serious. I literally told you like. Yesterday. As soon as I agreed to it. About the wedding theme and everything.”

“... I…” He looked to the side with a pout. “Do not recall…”

It was now I remembered the bitey mood he was in, and despite his many confirmations that he was listening to my many words, it was now being proved absolutely false. 

“... MALLEUS!!!” His ears fell flat, but I wasn’t having it. “You’ve GOT to start listening when I tell you stuff like this!!!”

“I-I was…!!!”

“Okay then, what else did I say?!”

“... Well…!” He was silent. “... It’s not important! What is important is that I’m abducting you now.”

“NO.” He snatched me up into his arms. “PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW MALLEUS, WE’RE NOT DONE HERE!!!” I looked to Cater for assistance, but he just held his hands up with a pitiful smile. “I’M SERIOUS, MALLEUS…!!!”

“As am I.”

“STOP SMILING, YOU JERK…!!!” The rain began to part for him again, and as I weakly flailed in his arms, he began humming happily, nuzzling his cheek against me. “... You are in so much trouble right now, you understand that, right?”

“Mm… So be it.” He nipped my ear. “Anything is a small price to pay to ensure you remain mine, and mine alone…”

“... Ugh…” I’d deal with this later. These shoes were killing my feet, so unfortunately, I was grateful I wouldn’t have to walk all the way back. “... Could you at least tell me why you went through the effort of a gown, too…?”

“Hm? Isn’t it obvious?” He looked completely baffled by the question. “If I am to win your affections back, I must present myself in a matter befitting of your eyes… Though, if I am honest, I find my current ensemble rather lackluster…” He huffed, snuggling me closer. “I told Lilia that I should have my scales and wings on display, but he said it would be ‘too much!’ Can you believe him?! I even suggested a song, or some other performance, but nooo! He said I’d ‘overwhelm’ you! How ridiculous can he be?!”

… God… I owed Lilia a fruit basket or something…

Chapter Text

Hello everyone, this is HowAreYouGoodPerson/DivusButter32oz, and apologies once more that this isn't a story update, but I had something I wanted to share.

___





---

Since A/N #2, this fic has gained so much more traction that I could ever expect. I'm still a bit surprised, since I don't see myself as a writer, and an artist first and foremost... That being said, I've still put a lot of work into this fic making stories that are admittedly, usually really silly, and somethings a bit TOO silly to be taken seriously, or even accidentally really similar to a previous story, (I have the memory of a goldfish, and sometimes straight up forget I've written something unless I reread it,) but it's what makes me happy. The fact that so many of you have enjoyed them is really nice, and I love seeing how excited some of you get in the comments by small things like the "Aglet" joke, and how even when I attempt to write something more serious, or different from normal with Malleus, many of you are encouraging of it.

I'm rambling a lot, I know, I'm just feeling a bit sentimental. I first started writing for Twst in July 2019. It'll be four years soon. That's a lot, and it hasn't quite set in yet. Same with drawing it. This game is very important to me, and even if I don't consider myself part of fandoms, I still feel incredibly honored to have received so much support through the years from other fans.

I wish I could say something corny like "I'll be sure to write even more to fill all your Mal Mal, Leona, and Divus needs~! >w0" but the truth is I have an extremely low social battery, so doing that's exhausting unless it's with extremely close friends, which is why I may feel very stiff. I'm gonna start talking more like this, since it's more comfortable for me. I've... Also admittedly been struggling to write for Leona lately, which I deeply apologize for, and between my job and an important project I'm working on with my art, it's just gonna be up to my hands to determine whenever the next update is. I do hope I can get slightly more consistent though. Even if it's hard compared to the other, I've come to love writing.

(As for Divus I really love that man, but he is just. SO, unfortunately, hard to write... Somehow.)

I'll go ahead and end this for now since I've said more than I meant to but thank you again everyone for your support. It genuinely means a lot to me. I hope I can continue to write more silly stories that make you guys smile.

~HowAreYouGoodPerson/Butter

Chapter Text

At first, he’d chalked it up to his own dissonance with time. It seemed with naught but a blink, the world would flash by, and things he’d only just begun to understand would be lost to the sands of time, and replaced anew. A human forgetting matters that seemed so simple to him? Why, it surely had to be his own fault…

But eventually, he found that the little beast they toted around remembered. Soon after, he found even the other humans they paraded around with remembered over baffled shouts at lunch.

“What do you MEAN you don’t remember?! How could you forget something like THAT?!”

And their response each and every time was to laugh it off, and remark about their atrocious memory. Even if the words were never said to him, nor meant for him, he always found himself with a frown, unable to do anything else but attempt to finish his meal, lest he be chastised for prying into private matters…

---

Once more, another’s word caught his ears.

“... Wait, you seriously don’t know who I’m talking about??” From his perch atop the school, he looked down upon the courtyard, where you sat alongside Viper. “[Name], they sit only a few seats away from you in class!”

“I-I’m serious, I really don’t know…! If it’s not important it’s just…” They waved their hands apart, as if attempting to conduct their words.

“Do you at least remember their name?!” Their awkward smile made the Vice rub his eyes, and Malleus frowned once more. It made him recall the countless meetings where they struggled to remember the names of the school’s gargoyles, to the extent where they eventually started bringing pen and parchment along to personally hand-write them for reference… Now that he was thinking of it, there were even times he’d notice their peers, bright smiles and excited to have another conversation with them, only to be treated as strangers if they weren’t the common ones they regularly engaged with…

Almost as if [Name] somehow did not recognize them…

---

“... [Name]?”

It was taking all his composure to keep the weather at simply a slight chill outside. He’d grown quite frustrated with their behavior as of late… Showing up to classes, going to Ramshackle, and saying NOTHING to him! Not even a single wave! Though, it seems he wasn’t the only one getting such treatment… He’d overheard the mutterings of others of their strange behavior, recently…

It mattered not. Once he opened the door, he was sure to air his grievances of his current neglect, and make them pay for such disrespect!

… Or, that was the plan. However, his anger wavered as he opened the door to their room, finding the human limp in bed, with a far off look in their eyes… Until they noticed him.

“A-ah… Malleus…!” They forced themselves to sit up. Their clothes were completely wrinkled, and the room looked as if it hadn’t been tended to in weeks… He raised an eye, wondering just what had happened since he’d last seen them. They noticed him staring, and avoided his gaze, trying their best to discreetly knock empty water bottles on their bed out of sight. “Um… Did you need anything, or…?”

“... [Name].” He took a deep breath. Getting upset would bring no benefit to this situation, as much as he wanted to be. “... How long has it been since we’ve last had a moment together?”

“... Uh…” They rubbed their eyes. The bags beneath were rich in color like Shroud’s. “A few days ago, I’m pretty sure…”

His heart pounded, and his throat went dry.

“... [Name]...” In just a moment, his frustrations were immediately wiped away in favor of terror. “It has been two weeks.”

“... Shoot.” They didn’t even seem surprised. “Sorry, Malleus… I’m terrible with time…” They grabbed their phone from somewhere within the tangled sheets, frowning as they saw he was indeed correct.

“... Are you well, [Name]?” Their shoulders sagged, but they just sighed.

“Just tired, don’t worry about it…” They dropped their phone, and leaned back onto their hands. “... Look, I really am sorry. I’m not trying to make excuses or anything, I just… I really am bad at keeping track of things…” They moved over, and patted the newly made spot on the bed next to them. His body moved on its own, taking a seat beside them, yet when they leaned against his shoulder, he couldn’t find any joy from the act.

“I uh… I just have a very bad memory… I really do try, though…” He wrapped an arm around their waist, pulling the little human closer to his side. At this moment, they seemed smaller than ever, their eyes fluttering closed again in exhaustion as his comfort. He was perfect, the cool end of a pillow that was just too blissful to resist…

“... Do you believe me?”

Even if he hadn’t, he would not be able to find it within himself to say “no.”

---

“Lilia… Are humans forgetful creatures?” Lilia frowned, taking a sip of his tea.

“Not particularly… Though, some of the older ones can be. Why do you ask?” Malleus stared into his own drink, his muddied reflection staring back hollow.

“Curiosity. Nothing more.” He grabbed a cube of sugar, dropping it in to rid himself of the pitiful sight. “What of the younger ones?”

“... Well…” Lilia hesitated. “While I’m no expert… I believe I’ve heard that some humans can suffer from memory problems as a result of past trauma, or mental health… But as I stated, I would take such words with a grain of salt.”

“... I see…” He thought back to that look in their eyes, that which lacked the spark so beloved of his love. “And how would one cure such a thing?” Lilia couldn’t even manage to force a smile.

“Malleus…” He placed down his drink. “Humans… They’re complicated beings, and just like us, sometimes, there are things that just can’t be cured.”

“... Then how could one attempt to ease such symptoms?”

“... I don’t know.” He’d so rarely seen such dismay on the elder’s face. “And I’m concerned if I said more, that you would attempt something.”

Malleus fumed, taking a sip of tea in hopes that the long-cold drink would help to calm the heat flickering in his throat.

---

“... Oi, idiot.” Hearing Leona, his mood immediately soured, though he did his best not to show it.

“May I be of assistance, Kingscholar?” He looked quite annoyed, though Malleus could hardly place why. It wasn’t even as if they’d talked of anything outside meetings…

“You know, you’ve REALLY been pissing me off.” His claws dug into his sleeves from where they were crossed. “You think it’s funny? Parading that herbivore around everywhere like some sort of showpony?!”

“... Pardon?” The Beastman walked right up to him, jabbing a finger into his chest. Though he was offended, a part of him was amused by such audacity.

“[NAME]. You’re the idiot they decided to date, right?! So why the hell are you treating them like some doll?!”

“... I have no idea what you mean, Kingscholar.” The lion began to growl, but Malleus simply raised a brow. “If anything, have I not been treating them as royalty?”

“Royalty…?!” Had he been any other person, the roar he let out truly would have been frightening. “Can’t you see how exhausted they’ve been, doing all the shit you’ve been dragging them along to?! … God, this is why I hate you… You’re so self-absorbed in whatever little pity party you’re in, that you can’t even notice when you’re fucking things up for everyone else around you!!!”

“... Kingscholar…” He took a deep breath. He was royalty. His death would swiftly be noticed. “I have done nothing as you claim. All I have done as of late is encourage [Name] to partake in a healthier lifestyle, rather than staying in their chambers all day. Do you TRULY think that is to their detriment?!”

“... You’re joking.” The lion balked. “You’ve GOT to be joking…”

“Joking about WHAT, Kingscholar…?!” Leona was speechless for a good moment.

“Are you really such an idiot that you can’t tell that [Name]’s been agreeing to all these things for YOU? Do you REALLY, TRULY think that doing all this shit YOU think is good for them is actually making things better for them…?!”

“... H… How could it not…?” Something about the look in Leona’s eyes… It was beginning to unsettle him. “I’ve done my research… I’ve read through every book on human health in the library, and all those in town, I’ve even consulted experts on the subject…!”

“Yeah?” Leona’s voice was thick with venom. “Did you even consider consulting the person who’s actually fucking depressed?”

Leona shoved past him, yet Malleus was too focused on his heart, threatening to beat out of his chest.

“Do whatever the hell you want, just don’t come crying to me if something happens…”

… He tried not to think of the implications of Kingscholar’s words. He was afraid to.

---

They truly did look exhausted. As much as he hated to admit it… He owed Kingscholar his thanks for the smack into reality.

“... [Name]...”

“... Yeah, Malleus?” They looked seconds away from falling asleep, clearly fighting to finish the last of their worksheet. He bit his lip, not wanting to speak, but decided to ignore his pride.

“I… Have wronged you, as of late.” They glanced up at him, surprised. “I meant to be acting in your best interests, I truly was, but…” They dropped their pen, giving him their full attention. “... I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what, Malleus?” He couldn’t meet their gaze.

“Of you forgetting me.” They grabbed his hand, and he squeezed it all he could, without hurting them. “Of our memories, of… Everything. We already have so little time together, just the thought of losing even more than that to something I can’t even see… It terrifies me…”

“... Well…” They squeezed back. Their strength was nothing compared to his own, but it still made his face grow warm. “I don’t think I could ever forget someone like you, even if I wanted to.”

“... May I hold you, dearest?” With a smile, they gently freed their hand from his own, and crawled upon his lap. Immediately, he wrapped his arms around them, feeling his skin grow warm where their own pulled him close. “... Do you forgive me?”

“I do.” He closed his eyes, ignoring the sting of tears that threatened to fall from his eyes.

“Do you love me?”

“Of course I do, you know that, silly…” He purred, nuzzling against their skin.

“... And you won’t forget that, will you?” Their hand ran along his spine, helping his entire body to relax.”

“If I somehow did, you’d just have to remind me, and I’d come running back to you.” He took a deep breath, soothed by their familiar scent he’d missed so dearly.

“... I shall keep you to that, [Name]...” They laughed, giving him an awkward head pat.

“I hope you will, Malleus…”… No matter what happened, he would ensure they would never forget about them, just as they both wanted…

He just hoped that day would never come.

Chapter Text

Hello everyone, this is HowAreYouGoodPerson/DivusButter, and yes I know I just had an author’s note, my apologies again, 😔💦. However, I wanted to ask something.

I happened to see a Tweet today joking about the depictions of Readers in Reader Inserts, and it made me curious… Have there ever been moments in my stories that gave a sense of negative whiplash in regards to identity, :0c?

While ultimately, I write these for me, (and I use a distinct personality since it makes for a more interesting tale,) I do try and go out of my way to avoid certain physical descriptions as much as possible, such as height or hair, unless it’s a case of the former where you are almost certainly not taller than Malleus, and gender as well. As someone who loves this sub-genre of story, Reader Inserts since I was younger have long since skewed on the AFAB side of things, so I try to come across as Neutral as possible, unless it is a situation such as NSFW where I simply do not feel equipped to write such experiences.

In regards to clothing, whether you are someone who prefers shirts and slacks, or someone who likes dresses, at the end of the day, it’s fabric all the same, and as a means of exploring identity, I hope I’ve written it in a way that lets you feel free to imagine whichever you’d prefer without judgment.

I’m rambling but ksmksms Reader Inserts are a unique genre, as they allow for a level of personal exploration of identity that I feel many other genres do not have, and as such, I would like my fics to feel like a safe place for all, so as long as they are polite/courteous, I would be thankful to hear thoughts of my execution of them. I can’t guarantee I can do everything, of course, but I can try in some cases, or keep it in mind for future things.

(Though, as an aside, this fic is not meant to be straight. If you are and you’re reading this, that’s sweet! But every character in the game is very much written with some form of LGBT in mind, so if you’re going to complain about that, find a different fic to read.)

Okay now I’ll stop rambling. Hopefully I made sense… Also, as thanks for your continued support, and apology for another note so soon, I have drawn you all a cowboy Malleus. I know. None of you asked for this, and I forced myself to draw it quickly, lest the raw exposure kill me. You’re welcome, 😂 (And as always, do not Repost/Share my art.)



Anyway, thank you again for your support, and I hope you have a nice day/night!

Chapter Text

“... Hey, Mal Mal.” He didn’t look away from his book but tilted his head slightly closer.

“Mm?” I held my lollipop up. “Wanna lick?”

“... Mm.” His tongue quickly slithered out, wrapping itself taut around the treat, and pulled it back into his mouth.

“Good boy~” He choked on his spit, but quickly recovered, bringing a hand to his face in vain attempts to hide the purple flush on his skin.

“[Name]...”

“What~?” He shut his book and tossed it to the air. Instead of crashing to the ground, it simply floated helplessly in the library air.

“You really shouldn’t be doing such things outside our chambers…”

“I know, I know, but no one’s around, you know.” I snuck my hand closer to his. Only our fingertips touched, but I could see him fighting off a smile. “You shouldn’t enable, either.”

“Oh? And just HOW am I enabling?” I pointed to my mouth with a smile. He raised a brow, until he remembered the treat, he’d just taken from me. “... Ah.”

“We’re both guilty here, it’s okay~” I pulled my hand away, watching his ears tip downwards as I gathered my things. “Speaking of guilty… If I don’t get home soon, Grim’s gonna make ME feel guilty for not starting dinner…”

“You could always bring him to Diasomnia.” As he gathered his own books (mostly for show,) a wide grin stretched upon him. “I’m sure Lilia would be more than willing to cook for him-”

“NOPE. He’d NEVER forgive me if I did that.”

“Ah, I can’t say I would either… Hmph~” As we rose to our feet, he looked around the room, ear’s perking slightly upwards. “... Pardon me, [Name], but do you hear something…?”

“... No…?” Now I looked around, but I couldn’t hear anything out of the ordinary. “Maybe some books knocked into each other…”

“... I suppose…” He clutched his belongings close, and quickly made his way towards the exit. “Well, to Ramshackle, as you said. I shall escort you, since it is late.”

“Oh, you don’t have to, you know! … But I do appreciate it!” As we left our little corner, I looked out the windows, seeing that it really had gotten late… “... Do you think Grim would be against take-out…?”

“The only thing that wretched beast is opposed to is vegetables…”

“True. Take-out it is, then!” Hopefully, The Lounge would still be open… “... You know, you’re always free to join us!” I looked to him, finding him staring behind us with a frown. “... Malleus-”

“Ah.” He quickly turned back to me with a soft smile. “I would be honored, but there is some business I must attend to first, if you don’t mind…”

“Yeah, go ahead! It’s probably gonna take a bit to wait for the food, anyway!”

“In that case…” As we stepped out of the library into the hall. “I shall reconvene with you at The Lounge. Is that amenable to you?”

“Yeah! … Oh, but before we split…” I looked around, making sure we were alone, before becoming him close.

“...?” He leaned down. Once he was mere inches from my face, I took the lollipop from his mouth with a grin and popped it back into my mouth. “Oh…!”

“I’ll see you soon, Hornton…~” I watched his face flush with lavender again before spinning on my heel and took my leave.

“... What a strange human…” He held a hand to his cheek, hoping it’s chill would help to calm himself, but found his head growing soft with affectionate. Before he even realized it, he began twirling a lock of jet-black hair with a finger, unable to suppress his smile any longer.

“... Ah, not now…” They were out of sight. He forced his feelings down and turned back to the library. His staff materialized in his hand, and he slammed it gently upon the ground.

“*... FWIP!*” The library doors shut behind him, thorns wrapping taut around the handles. The lights faded, with only the sickly green hue of lanterns remaining as he retraced his steps into the room, eyes wandering over each and every inch of the vast domain.

“... I know you’re in here.” From the upper stories, a shadow caught his eye. “I am not so cruel as to incinerate you… Without defense, that is.” More thorns covered the entrance further into the library, leaving no room for escape… Unless one wished to jump through the windows, which he supposed was a viable option.

It would be an amusing sight, he had to admit.

“You were spying on me, weren’t you?” He ascended the stairs, one step at a time. He ran a hand along the aged wood, pressing his fingers into the light scratches left from time. “Most students who dare to try and photograph me are at least intelligent enough to turn the sound off…”

He could hear it. The sound of a pounding heartbeat… It was louder than any clock could hope to be. He passed by dusty furniture, sparing a glance at a nearby bust of a long-gone founder, before continuing on.

“... I wonder… Did they come out well? I’ve heard from others that I'm quite difficult to capture on film…” Tucked in the farthest, darkest corner sat a single human, a child from Octavinelle. Their hands trembled as they struggled not to drop their camera, staring straight into his eyes.

“…!”

“... Ah…” He grinned, baring his fangs wide. “Here you are…” Placing his staff against the wall, he easily pried the camera from their hands, thankful that it didn’t take him TOO much effort to operate the cursed technology.

“... I-I’m sorry…!” He ignored them, flipping through the pictures. The little fiend took quite many of them. “I’m… I’m from the yearbook club! I didn’t mean any harm, I just-”

“They are lovely photos.” Even now, he felt his heart flutter, seeing [Name]’s eyes twinkle in delight. “Truly, I must commend you. Even the professionals the school hired for events fail to capture an acceptable shot of me.”

“...Thank… You…?” He flipped through them further. There were more shots from earlier today. The two sharing lunch alongside his family, as ‘friends,’ the two sneaking away from gym to play on their matching Dragon-Kuns together… Moments where they snuck away to share a kiss, to hold the other’s hand, or even the hug they shared behind the stairs, when he felt dismayed about being forgotten in yet another meeting…

And of course, the library. Truly, this human was something special, being able to achieve so many shots, all without alerting his attention until now…

“... GYAH…!!!” He crushed the camera into nothing more than dust, letting it fall to the floor.

“...Tell me.” He wiped his gloves free of dust. “Has anyone else seen these photos? Do not lie…”

“NO!” He narrowed his eyes, the flames of hell flickering within them. “NO! I SWEAR, NO ONE ELSE HAS SEEN THEM…!”

“... Good.” He grabbed his staff and turned towards the stairs. “You are QUITE the lucky fool, to have insulted someone so merciful. If you are a smart one, you shall pry into my personal affairs no longer… However…” He stopped on his way out, admiring the bust. "If I am to find that you continue to persist, or worse, have LIED to me…” His fingers trailed along its delicate details, akin to that of the gargoyles he so dearly loved.

“... T… Then…?”

He smashed it, turning it to the same dust as he’d done the camera.

“... Okay…!”

He descended the stairs, not bothering a single glance back to the wretched fiend. There was no need to, he’d already memorized their face.

Next time, there would be no mercy for such an idiotic fool…

-----------

“... Where did you get these?” The Yearbook Club Leader looked though the files from the USB.

“I got them. Myself. Today.” The student fiddled with their hands. “I had more, but… DAMNIT! I had the perfect shot, too…! It doesn’t matter! This is still enough!” The leader took the USB out and unplugged the computer. “It’ll be the biggest scoop NRC’s ever SEEN!!!”

“No.”

“... What.” In a flash, the USB burst into flames. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?!”

“I’M SAVING OUR LIVES, IDIOT…!” The First Year tried scrambling for the stick but was held back as it crackled and sizzled. “... You’re young, and ambitious, I get that, I do, but…”

“BUT WHAT?!”

“... You’ve GOT to understand something.” The fire slowly fizzled out, leaving nothing but a charred, melted pile of goop behind. “There are some stories we do NOT report on, ESPECIALLY if they’re about public figures!”

“WHY NOT?!” The First Year fell to their knees, staring in despair at their shot of glory. “ISN’T GETTING THE PERFECT STORY WHAT WE’RE SUPPOSED TO DO…?!”

“... My first year here, two years ago…” The Upperclassmen winced. “Someone tried doing a piece on Schoenheit. Followed him around and everything, just like you did, but worse.”

“The Pomefiore House Leader…?!”

“Yeah. You wanna know what happened?” The First Year moved closer. “They got their story, alright. They ALSO got expelled, faced a brutal lawsuit that there was NO chances of winning, and from what I heard? Basically, out of luck in any respectable journalism field because of it. Everyone who approved the story got suspended as well, and kicked from the club, while everyone else got stern talks from the professors.” The Upperclassman grabbed a broom and began sweeping up the ashes.

“... But-”

“NO. BUTS.” They tossed it in the trash. “Look, lots of people may disagree with me, but there’s a point where reporting becomes stalking, and just because someone’s famous, doesn’t mean you get to disrespect their personal boundaries unless there’s REAL HARM involved.”

“B-but-”

“You wanna know a secret?”

“... Sure.” The Leader checked the blinds, and the door, making sure no one was around.

“... The whole thing with Draconia and [Last Name]?” He looked around, as if either would jump from the shadows at any moment. “Yeah. It ain’t exactly the best kept secret. Most everyone on our team knows, and I know a handful of other students do too.”

“... Then… Why haven’t you ever reported on anything…?”

“... Because…” He fiddled with his sleeve. “If Draconia didn’t confront us about it, then someone else will, and I refuse to let anything happen to any of you.” He took a moment, relaxing when nothing happened. “... That being said… If you try anything like this again... Then Seven help you, because I'll have NOTHING to do with it…!”

“... Have you… Ever reported a story like that…?”

“Of course not.” He grabbed his bag and opened the door. “Because if I wanted to die THAT badly, then I’d either do that, or wedding photography… Ugh…!” With a shudder, he left the club room, leaving the First Year all alone.

“...” They looked back to the trash can, and went over, digging through for the destroyed USB. They stared at it, wondering if its contents could be salvaged from some of the students at Ignihyde…

“... No… He’s right…” They tossed it back in and forced themself out the door. “It’s better to find another scoop today, then die tomorrow…”

Maybe there was something with those two dumb First Years in Heartslabyul they could find…

Chapter Text

“... The Grim Shake.” Azul beamed brightly.

“Correct~!”

“... Yeah, I knew this was gonna be something ridiculous, no deal-”

“YEAH, WHAT THEY SAID!!!”

“WAIT!!!” He blocked the exit to his office. We could probably just shove pass, but he’d get the twins to stop us anyway. “Hear me out at least, would you…?!”

“... Fine…” I plucked up Grim, and returned to my seat, placing him right on my lap. “Might as well, since I have nothing better to do.”

“Well, I’M NOT gonna hear him out!” He crossed his arms with a scowl. “He just said he wanted to make me into a MILKSHAKE.”

“Now, now, that is NOT what I meant in the slightest!” Azul returned to his own seat, and snapped his fingers. Like I’d expected, Jade opened the door and walked in, placing a tray before us. There were two, clear to-go cups, creamy grey milkshakes with a generous portion of blue whipped cream on top, with chunks of something dark within…

As much as I hated to admit it. It WAS kinda aesthetic…

“... So this is…?” Grim glared at the Leech as he quickly snatched a shake, taking a reluctant sip.

“This is the ‘Grim Shake,’ as Azul has stated. It is a Cookies-and-Cream milkshake with whipped cream. We would also like to feature a tuna sandwich special alongside it.” I watched Grim’s eyes blow out wide, before he sucked the whole drink down. “The promotion would last about two weeks, and of course, you shall receive royalties-”

“NYAGH…!” I caught him before he crashed to the floor, but his now empty cup wasn’t so lucky. “M-MY HEAD…! NYAAAAAAAH…!!!” Ah. Brainfreeze.

“Be careful, Grim…”

“HOW COULD I?! IT WAS SO GOOD…!!!” I gently rubbed his head, hoping it helped to soothe it just a little.

“That’s good, at least…” I turned back to Azul, who held a wide smile. Conveniently, his eyes were shut, so I couldn’t read anything in them. “... Just cut to the chase… WHY???”

“Why? Isn’t it obvious?” Somehow, his grin got even wider. “Grim… Why, he’s become almost a mascot of sorts on NRC! Countless students adore him, and would flock to The Lounge in hopes of a limited drink themed off him!”

“... Are we talking about the same cat, or…?” Despite his brain-freeze, Grim still regained himself enough to bat my leg. “Familiar! Sorry, sorry!”

“YOU BETTER BE…!” I pet his head even deeper, and he descended into purrs. “Anyway, of COURSE people adore me… I’m the great and powerful Grim, after all~”

“You sure are, buddy~” I eyed the shake again, and when I looked down at my little accomplice, he had stars in his eyes, and was making grabby hands at the second shake. “... Alright, what’re the royalties?”

“You’ll get paid in exposure-”

“DEAL!”

“NO DEAL!”

“NYEAGH!!!” I grabbed the second shake for Grim, and he began drinking it, slower this time.

“... Very well.” Azul pulled out his budget. “How does 10% sound?”

“Bad. We want 50%.”

“FIFTY?!” Jade snickered, while Azul shot him a glare. “... Thirty.”

“Fourty.”

“Thirty-five.”

“And if I say nay?”

Well, there’s nothing I could do… But would you truly deprive Grim of the pleasure of watching his peers celebrate him?”

“... Tch…” Unsurprisingly, when I looked down, I found bright, wide eyes staring at me with a pout that easily put Malleus’ to shame… “... Fine, 35, but we also get a free combo each day of the promotion..”

“Wonderful~” Azul clapped his hands in delight. “Now, if you’ll give me a moment to fetch the papers, we’ll make it official!”

… I had a feeling this would end badly… But maybe for once, I would be pleasantly surprised and wrong…

-----------

The second we stepped into The Lounge, we both gawked at the giant wooden cutout of Grim with The Shake, right in the center of a jam-packed dining room.

“... Impressed~?” Floyd knocked on the panel with a wide grin. “Spent all day on it! Even if I WANTED to quit, Azul wouldn’t let me until it was perfect…” Even without him telling me, it was obvious… His rolled-up sleeves revealed skin still stained grey and blue from paint, and I could only imagine how much he must’ve scrubbed to get most of it off.

“Henchman…!!!” Grim threw himself at the cutout’s feet. “I look AMAZING…!!!”

“You do!! You really did an amazing job, Floyd~!”

“Hehe~! Yeah! So what’s my reward for doing such a good job, Shrimpy~?”

“AHEM.” He immediately sulked, turning back to see Azul violently waving him back into the kitchen.

“... Tch… Figures… Well, guess I’ll squeeze ya later, small fries…” I held up a hand, and he mustered enough energy back to smile and give a high-five before returning to the trenches. Once Floyd passed through the door, Azul rushed over to us, looking FAR too thrilled despite the fact it was hardly past noon.

“Well, well~! If it isn’t my favorite clients! How lovely to see you both, hm~?” … Yeah. He was TOO happy…

“HEY! AZUL!” Grim smushed his face against the wood cutout. “GIMME THIS!!!”

“Ah, my apologies, Grim! I’m afraid we need that cutout for advertising purposes…”

“Then give it to me when this whole thing’s OVER.”

“... Well… I suppose that could be arranged. For a small fee, of course-” I shot him a glare. “... On second thought, I’ll just have Floyd bring it over after.”

“AW NYAH~!!” As Grim nuzzled against the panel, Azul sighed, but quickly regained himself.

“... Back to business!” He rubbed his hands together, eyes glinting with madness. “As you’ve almost certainly noticed, we’ve made QUITE the profit already, and it’s only the first day!!! You should have SEEN how packed we were this morning!!!” A groan more akin to a hoarse scream came from the kitchen. “Countless students have already taken pics of their shakes and uploaded them to MagiCam, so much so, that even Vil stopped by in interest!”

“... Really? Did he… Actually get a shake…?”

“Ah, no. He might’ve, if SOMEONE…” He glared back at the kitchen. “DIDN’T TELL HIM THAT IT WAS ‘GRIM-FLAVORED!!!’” Floyd immediately poked his head out the door.

“YOU TOLD US NOT TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT FLAVOR IT IS!!!”

“YOU SHOULD’VE JUST SAID IT WAS A SURPRISE!!!”

“OH PLEASE! YOU KNOW LIL’ BETTA WOULDA JUST LEFT ANYWAY!!!”

“YOU DON’T KNOW THAT!!! … Ugh, actually-” He waved Floyd back in. “WE’LL DISCUSS THIS LATER, FLOYD!!!”

“WHATEVER!” The kitchen door slammed shut, and Azul rolled his eyes. “... My sincerest apologies for my employee’s outburst! Ah, actually…!” He guided us along to a freshly open booth. “How about I get you that complimentary meal? I’m sure it’ll help to wash down that awful sight, just now!”

“Oh!?” Grim hopped into a seat, and snatched a fork. “Yeah, yeah!! Bring us the grub!!”

“I won’t argue!” I took my own seat, getting comfortable. “I am getting a bit hungry, myself.”

“Wonderful~! Then if you’ll just give me a moment, I’ll return with your Grim Birthday Combos!” He dashed into the kitchen, and already, I could hear the bickering continue. Honestly though, I didn’t really care. At the end of the day, I knew that they’d both immediately made up the second Jade so much as snickered, and gang up on him instead.

“Hey, [Name]!” Grim excitedly kneaded biscuits into the tablecloth. “Ain’t this awesome?! I’m finally getting the recognition I deserve~!!”

“Yeah, AND we get free food out of it, too! This next few weeks, we’re gonna feel like royalty~!”

“YEAH!!!” Jade walked up to us with his best customer service smile as he placed two plates and glasses down.

“Two Grim Combos for table #25! Enjoy!”

“Thank you, Jade!”

“Yeah, now scram!!!”

“Grim…!” His ears winced, and he huffed, crossing his arms.

“... Sorry… And thank you.”

“Ahaha, thank you!” He swiftly left our side, already moving in to clear a nearby table.

“... Wow…!” We both looked at our plates, and I could even feel my mouth watering…

“This is so cute~!” You wouldn’t think that a tuna sandwich could feel so special, but the fish-shaped buns and beautiful color of the salad within almost sparkled, and the fries next to it… I bit one, finding it absolutely perfect…

“SHAKE TIME!!!” Grim immediately lunged for the glass, this time, slowly sipping out of the straw. “Waaah…! It’s somehow even better than before~!!”

“Really?” I dipped a fry in the shake, and took another bite. It was like fireworks in my mouth, and I could feel my spirit ready to ascend from this mortal plane. “Oh my god, you’re right…!”

“Of course I’m right~!” He grabbed a fry himself, mimicking my own actions. “And as it should be! I only deserve the best, after all~”

“Hell yeah!” I grabbed my phone, taking a pic of my meal, before taking a pic of Grim. “Maybe I should bring Malleus by to try one of these…”

“WHA-NO WAY!!!” He swallowed down him mouthful of fries. “I AIN’T GIVING UP MY FREE FOOD!!!”

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t do that! I’d pay for his meal separately!”

“... OKAY.” He settled back into his seat. “... Hey… Speaking of which, where is that guy anyway?! I haven’t seen him in a while…”

“Oh! He went on a trip home for a bit! He should be back sometime soon, though!”

“Hopefully not TOO soon… It’s always annoying when he sneaks up on us! Makes me feel like I’m in some scary movie or something…”

“Haha, I’ll talk to him about it when he returns, don’t worry!”

“You better…!” I pulled up MagiCam, and posted the pics to my private account, laughing as Cater instantly ‘Liked’ it. “Also, let’s hurry up and eat!!! That creep from Ignihyde’s looking over here…!” As he said, when I looked back, I caught Idia ducking beneath his own booth. Unfortunately for him, the soft glow of his hair gave him away… Oh, and Ortho waving.

“We could just ask for to-go boxes, if you want.”

“NO. I still wanna see how many more people come in for my meal~”

“Okay, okay~” I picked up my sandwich, and took a bite, unable to resist a smile at the explosion of flavor in my mouth…

-----------

“Mrow?”

“Nyeh? What do YOU want…?!” Lucious smacked his paw against the cup, right where a cute icon of Grim’s face was. “... Ooh~! You’re JEALOUS, ain’t cha?! Nyehe~ Can’t say I blame you~”

“Mrow, mrow?”

“Why SHOULD I left you try some?! It’s MY drink…!”

“Mroooooow.”

“... Okay, good point… But only a SIP!!!” He held the straw out to the other cat. “And a SMALL one!”

“Mrow, mrow…!” Just as the cat took the straw, the door opened. [Name] and Professor Trein both walked into the room, but before the former could even say anything, the latter gasped in terror.

“LUCIOUS!!!” The cat’s eyes snapped open in horror. “GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, IMMEDIATELY!!!”

“Mm…!!!” Knowing time was of the essence, Lucious drank as much as he could. Trein dragged him off, before snatching the cup.

“Oh Seven, what in Twisted Wonderland did you just drink…?!” [Name] turned to Grim, who avoided eye contact.

“Grim…! Why the hell did you let LUCIOUS have your milkshake?!”

“He was BOTHERING me about it!!! Besides, what’s the big deal?! It’s just a drink…!” Suddenly, Trein’s gaze whipped over to the two, making their blood run cold.

“[LAST NAME]!!!”

“Eep…!” He scooped up Grim, ignoring his cries of protest as he inspected him.

“HAVE YOU BEEN LETTING GRIM DRINK MILKSHAKES, OF ALL THINGS…?!”

“W-well, uh, I…” They scooted slightly closer to the door. “He’s not a cat, so it should be fine, right…~?”

“... We’re going to the vet. NOW.”

“THE VET?!”

“MROW…?!”

“YES, THE VET! [LAST NAME], GET THE PET CARRIER I KEEP IN THE CLOSET!” Both the cats looked to them for help, but [Name] just held their hands up in defeat…

“Yes, Professor…”

“NYAAAAA…!!!”

“MROW, MROW…!!!”

Despite how hard they struggled in Trein’s grip, he refused to budge…

-----------

“Hey, did you hear about what happened to Grim?!” The student took a sip of his shake. “Apparently Trein took him and Lucious to the vet!”

“What?! Why?!”

“Beats me dude, but it sounded serious, if the Professor was anything to go by…”

“Damn, that sucks… I was hoping to get a pic with him for my TwstTok…” The boy took a pitiful sip of his shake. “... Hey. I have an idea. Hear me out.”

“Sure.” He whipped out his phone.

“So what if we made like. A video toasting to Grim? That’d get likes, right~?”

“... Mm… Maybe, but it’s not like we really KNOW Grim, so wouldn’t it just come across as kinda awkward?”

“Okay, what about ‘Get well soon’ or something?”

“Better… But doesn’t that feel kinda cheesy…?”

“I mean, what else are we gonna do? Act like he’s dead?” They both froze. “... Actually… Hold up, we might be cooking here…”

“Yeah yeah!! Oh, but there needs to be some kinda shock value for it to REALLY spread, you know! People LOVE a plot twist!”

“Quick! What’s the worst thing we could do with a memorial?!”

“Uh… MORE DEATH!”

“YEAH!!! Quick, hold my phone, and after the toast, we’ll cut to it and you can just dump my shake on me or something!”

“Got it! Oh, this is gonna be GREAT~!!” With a wide smile, the student waited for the camera to go off, before holding up his shake with a solemn smile.

“Hey guys, got the Grim Shake from The Mostro Lounge today in honor of Grim himself! May you rest in peace, little buddy…” He raised the cup, and with a nod, took a light sip…

-----------

“...GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!” Jade and Floyd immediately burst into Azul’s office.

“Whahappun?!”

“Are you dying, Azul…?!”

“I MAY AS WELL BE…!” The twins squished themselves next to Azul, finding MagiCam open. “There’s a new trend with the Grim Shakes…”

“... Ain’t that good for business…?” With shaky hands, Azul clicked on a video.

“See for YOURSELVES…”

------

“... Hello, everyone.” Vil wore a grave expression, as did the other members of the Film-Making Club. “We have all gathered here today to pay respect to our fallen classmate, Grim… A menace to some, a friend to others.” A few of the students even broke into tears behind him, trembling hands raising their Grim Memorial Shakes high in unison with Vil.

“May you rest in peace, Grim…” They all took a sip. Even Vil was unable to resist a smile upon it, looking at the cup. “... Hmph. Not bad…”

---

Suddenly, the video cut to black, and a shrill scream was heard. Azul glanced over to his cohorts, finding them all-too-excited by the turn of events, but once they noticed his glare, they cleared their throats and frowned.

---

“... HELLO? … WHERE IS EVERYONE?!” It was recorded from Ortho’s point-of-view. The sky was dark above, and with nothing but a flimsy flashlight, he wandered the courtyard.

“Run…”

“Ah…?!” He turned to a nearby shrub, one of the film club members soaked in grey goop, and clutching their arm. “OH MY GOODNESS, ARE YOU HURT…?!”

“Run…!” Ortho approached, but suddenly, there was a noise in the distance. The student's eyes widened in fear as he turned to Ortho, “I SAID RUN!!!”

“BUT-”

“HE’LL KILL US BOTH, JUST GET HELP…!!!”

“WAUGH…!!!” Ortho bolted away, far from the piercing scream behind him, passing more and more bodies of the former Film Makers, all covered in the same, horrific sludge. “No… no, no, no, no…!!!”

Suddenly, there was a cough off-screen.

“SCHOENHEIT…!” Ortho ran to him. “WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!”

“... Huh…?” He pulled the House Leader over his shoulder.

“Quick, we need to find help! Can you stand?!”

“... Grim… He’s…” His hands trembled.

“What about Grim…?” Distorted audio, a crunched-up recording of Grim played, and the last thing seen was a beast that tackled the two, before the footage ended…

---

“... Was that Sea Gull in a Grim costume-”

“IT DOESN’T MATTER!!!” Jade took the mouse, and clicked on another video. “What DOES matter is that somehow, our Signature Drink has become a HORROR MOVIE TREND!!! How in Twisted Wonderland are we supposed to market THAT…?!

---

“Hey hey~ Cay Cay and The Ray Rays here~!” Cater, Kalim, and Lilia all held up their Grim Memorial Shakes. “We are like. SO upset to learn of our little Grimmy’s passing, so we’re here to play a few jams, be a lil’ sad, and wish him well! Rest in peace, king!” Lilia took a giant sip, while Cater and Kalim looked at him.

“Wait, Lilia, are you really drinking that…?!” The fae licked his lips with a smile.

“Was that not the plan?” Cater fiddled with his bangs, suddenly nervous.

“Dude… Haven’t you heard the rumors? They say that Grim himself was used to make these things…”

“Ohoho~ Nothing but silly jests, I can assure you~” Lilia slicked back his bangs, and picked up his guitar. “Now, let’s sing the ballad of a lifetime for our dearly departed friend-”

-

“HOLD HIM DOWN, KALIM!!!”

“I’M TRYING!!!”

“Guh… Guuuyah…!!!” Grey foam bubbled at Lilia’s mouth, the same hue as the cheap cat ears on his head as he writhed against their hold, tears spilling from Kalim’s eyes as Cater held his bass high. “Gyaaagh…!”

“WE HAVE TO KILL HIM, BEFORE HE TURNS ANYONE ELSE!”

“WHAT?! NO, WE SHOULD TRY TO SAVE HIM-”

“HYSHAAAAAA…!!!” As Kalim was distracted, Lilia managed to latch his mouth on his arm.

“KALIM…!!!”

“... He…” The boy fell back, staring at his arm in horror as Lilia crawled onto all fours, head turned unnaturally far as he approached Cater. “He… Bit me…!”

“... S-STAY BACK…!” Kalim collapsed onto the ground, twitching violently. Though there were no real bite marks, the amount of milkshake on his arm truly gave the illusion of it. “Shit…! I MEAN IT LILIA, G-GET AWAY FROM ME…!!!”

“... Guuuh…” Cater lowered his guard, turning to Kalim, who now also had a pair of cat ears on his head.

“ARE YOU OKAY, DUDE-”

His scream rattled the halls as Lilia attacked, cracking the camera lens right before it shut off entirely.

---

“I must admit, these are quite creative, Azul! I also do not see any harm, as they are buying the shakes…”

“You CANNOT be serious, Jade…!!!” Before he could click on another video, Azul snatched the mouse. “This is damaging The Lounge’s reputation…!!!”

“Oh, please. This is Night Raven College, it’s not damaging it THAT much.”

“He’s right, Azul. If anything, I feel like this is HELPIN’ it. You know how many of these damn things I made today alone?!”

“T-that’s true, but… You two can’t SERIOUSLY be okay with this?!?!” Azul scrolled further along, finding more and more TwstToks with the shakes. “They’re not enjoying the shakes the RIGHT way! All these idiots are wasting our supplies, and making a mockery of the hours of prep I’ve done to prepare for this occasion-” He froze, seeing two familiar faces in the next video. “... Jade. Floyd.”

They both smirked.

“Yes, Azul~?”

“What is it~?”

“... That better not be YOU TWO I’m looking at in this thumbnail…!”

“Of course it isn’t.”

“Yeah. It’s probably just some idiots who look exactly like us~?”

“... Haaaaaaaaaaah…” He took a deep breath, and clicked on the video.

---

“Good afternoon, fellow students.”

“We’re here toastin’ to lil’ sealie~!” They raised their cups.

“Yes… As many of you have heard, he has become one with the ground, and will soon become enrichment for nature’s bounty…”

“Ain’t that just SAD? Anyway, rest in pieces, lil’ guy! HAHAHA~!!” Jade took a delicate sip, whereas Floyd slurped as loud as possible. “... Man, this shake is banging, though!!!”

“Why, I’m inclined to agree myself, brother! I suppose Grim’s passing has at least one silver lining to it!” They tapped their cups together, and took another sip.

-

“... Floyd…?” The lights were off in their bedroom. Jade approached Floyd’s bed, where there wasn’t an inch of movement, just a large lump beneath the sheets. “... You’ve been in bed all day, brother… I have grown worried…” He stopped right at it, yet there was still no sign of movement.

“... Floyd. I’m serious. Say something…!” … Yet there was nothing. With a trembling hand, Jade grabbed the edge of the blanket, and yanked it off. “... Ah…?!”

Instead of an eel, there was a skeleton, with chunks of eel meat littered around the remains of the bones.

“... Oh Seven… I…” Jade stumbled back. “I think I’m going to be sick…!” He ran to the door, but when he turned the knob, it refused to budge. “... No…”

He tried again, and again, and again, but nothing happened.

“... Nyaaaaaaah…” Jade turned around, beginning to hyperventilate at the surprisingly good Grim impression.

“Please… No…!!!” He started slamming into the door. “You already took my brother, is that not enough…?!”

“... Nyaaaaaaaaaaah…!”

“NO!!!” Jade was dragged to the ground. “PLEASE!!! I HAVE SO MANY MUSHROOMS TO SEE!!!” He was dragged beneath the bed, unable to fight back. “SEA WITCH, SHOW ME MERCY…!!!”

---

The twins were trying not to bust into laughter at Azul’s exhaustion.

“... You know what?” He stood up, grabbing his cane. “I think I’m just going to take a mental health day… You two can run The Lounge for the day…!”

“Aw~ Don’t be like that Azul~!” They immediately trailed after him like guppies.

“Indeed, have a sense of humor, would you~?”

“... You two…!” They looked at him with bright smiles. Instead of saying anything, he just kept his mouth shut and left the office. A nice nap would do wonders for his mood…

------------

When he’d returned, things felt normal enough. His family had greeted him upon his arrival, and escorted him back to Diasomnia. Afterwards, he made arrangements to acquire a new phone as he had broken his last, and then he’d unpacked his belongings, giving out souvenirs he’d brought the three.

That was when things became… Strange.

He could have simply teleported to Ramshackle, but since it’d been only a few weeks, he decided to walk. Despite how little time it was, he was curious if anything had changed. Only a few steps into his walk, he passed by a group of students, booming with laughter and soaked head-to-toe in some strange grey stuff…

He didn’t pay it much mind, that is, until he passed another group, limp on the ground, with the same substance coating them like blood. He flicked his tongue out, raising a brow at the distinctly sweet taste of cookies and cream ice cream, and continued on, personally a bit offended by the waste.

It was when he arrived to Ramshackle, finding it completely empty, with a thin layer of dust over it that he felt something was well and truly wrong.

“... Lilia.” He manifested right onto his throne, and within moments, the fae was at his side.

“Yes, Malleus?”

“... Has anything happened during my absence?”

“Hm… Nothing important I can think of…” Lilia took a seat midair, slowly spinning upside down. “The only noteworthy news is of Grim’s Memorial Shake, but-”

“Memorial…?!” Lilia pulled out his phone, and spun it rightside up, showing it to Malleus.

“It’s this!” Upon the screen was a vivid advertisement with the familiar. “The Grim Memorial Shake! It’s the latest campus trend!” He swiped to another picture, where a group of students were crumpled, grey messes on the ground. “Students buy the shake, then make a toast in honor of Grim’s passing, before dying themselves.” His throat ran dry.

“The human’s familiar… He has passed?” He was no stranger to death, but it did not mean he was fond of it.

“Oh, he’s perfectly fine! I’ve heard rumors that he was taken to the vet, which is where this whole situation started.” He relaxed just a bit. “If anything, I’m worried for [Name]... I imagine they’re fretting about his health.”

“I see…” It seems things have changed far more than he could ever have expected, during his brief trip home. “... May I borrow your phone, Lilia-”

“Absolutely not! I JUST got all my game data transferred after you broke the last one, and I don’t plan to do that again anytime soon!”

“It was an accident…!”

“I don’t care!” Lilia clutched his phone close. “You can simply use the landline in the kitchen.”

“But the audio quality is so inferior…”

“It’s either that, or nothing, Malleus!”

“... Tch!” He rose from his throne. “Very well, but I shall remember this, Lilia…!”

“Of course you will.” The elder waved him off as he faded into fireflies, before arriving in the kitchen. A burst of flames left his lips with a huff as he typed [Name]’s number into the keypad, and pressed the receiver to his ear, fingers tapping along his gloves.

“... Hello?” His ears perked up.

“[Name]. Are you well?”

“Malleus…!” He leaned against the wall, pressing the phone closer to his ear. “Honestly, I’m exhausted… I’ve been running around with Professor Trein all week… I’m afraid if we make one more detour, it’s gonna be for the adoption papers…”

“I see… You shall have to tell me all about it upon your return.”

“I will, after I take a nap for like 500 years or something…” He frowned at the crunchiness of the audio, but accepted it was better than nothing. “Anyway, enough of that, how have you been? Was your trip nice?”

“It was lovely. I enjoyed the time together with my grandmother. She wishes to meet you.”

“Ah… She’ll be disappointed, then… Haha…”

“She will not.” He frowned. “She will love you, just as I do.”

“... You think?”

“I know, [Name].” It was silent for a few moments. He started to feel anxious, wondering if he’d broken some human social cue, before they laughed.

“... Thanks, Mal Mal… After this whole ordeal with Grim, I really needed that.” He smiled in relief, wishing they were in his arms so he could nuzzle them… Ah, but priorities.

“Speaking of him…” He moved to the fridge. Now he was thinking of ice cream, and there should still be a tub hidden within. “Why in Twisted Wonderland would you agree to this ‘Grim Memorial Shake?’”

“... The what.” Finding his target, he popped open the lid, frowning upon finding it empty.

“Lilia told me of it. The strange trend where humans pretend to sacrifice themselves in honor of your familiar.”

“... Give me a second?”

“... Alright…” It was much more than a second. He watched the nearby clock, as each and every one passed by, until almost a whole minute had passed. “... [Name]?”

“Sorry, I’m gonna have to call you back. I need to have a VERY important conversation with Azul… Love you!”

“Ah, I-” The receiver went dead. “... Love you too…?”

… He had no idea what was going on, but what he did know is that a trip to Octavinelle suddenly felt VERY tempting… Perhaps he’d even indulge in one of those milkshakes, and choose the booth closest to Ashengrotto’s office. If he happened to overhear the conversation… Why, it’d merely be a coincidence, right~?

Chapter Text

“... You are quite the cruel being, [Name]...” He placed a kiss atop my head, adjusting me just the slightest on his lap so he could comfortably read.

“Mm…!” I threw my head back, meeting his eyes. “Am I?”

“You truly need to ask?” I flicked the vibrator up another setting, uncaring of how sore my hips were beginning to feel as I pressed it harder against my clit. “You request of me to simply sit here as you pleasure yourself on my cock, and merely watch.”

“A-an hour’s not much time to you, at least…” He didn’t bother for a bookmark, just shutting the tome and placed it gently onto his desk. “So it’s not too bad, right~?”

“Normally, it is nothing.” He leaned back in his chair, resting his chin against his hand. “But an hour of this is more akin to an eternity of torture…”

“... Mm… Give me a second.” I flicked the toy off, and tossed it aside, doing my best to maneuver around and face him without having to leave him. He looked completely stoic, the only clue of our activities being the light, lavender flush on his cheeks.

“... Am I allowed to touch you, now?” I plucked the hat from between his horns, the only thing aside from his shirt that still remained, and even that was a mess of zippers and fabric.

“Do you want to?”

“Very much.”

“How much?” I put the tiny cap on my own head. He couldn’t resist a smile, bringing his palm to my face. I leaned into its touch, finding it perfectly cool.

“So much that I may die, otherwise…” His words were quiet, to assure they were none other than for me. I felt my heart swell, and nuzzled against his hand.

“Then touch me all you like, Malleus.”

Within moments, his other hand found it’s place onto my back. Gently, I was brought forward, our lips connecting in a soft kiss. I had no idea who attempted to pull away first, but they were immediately pulled back in, both our hands wandering the other’s body as we nibbled and sucked on lips, tongue and skin.

“I…” I kissed him, again and again. He laughed as he tried turning away, just long enough to finish speaking. “-adore you.”

“You do?” He found my lips, and gently rocked me against him. I moaned, feeling myself grow hotter as he nestled himself into the crook of my neck.

“More than anything.” He kissed along the sweat-soaked skin, the bitter salt sweeter than any treat. “I would do anything for you… Just give the word, and I shall have it done.”

“You’d even take over the world?”

“Without hesitation, my liege.”

“... Silly…” I grabbed his hair, and gently pulled him up. His eyes shone bright with pure, unfiltered affectionate, making my heart flutter. “I don’t want you to do that. I just want you to love me like I love you.”

“[Name]...” I slicked back his bangs, pressing a kiss to the hard scales beneath. “... Marry me.”

“Malleus~!”

“I’m serious…!” He took my left hand, pressing countless, ticklish kisses into the skin. “Perhaps not today, or even in a few years… But one day, I want you to return home with me. I want you to meet my grandmother, my people… Even the roses of my garden here pale in comparison to those of the Valley, and I want to share their beauty with you!”

His hand slipped between my thighs, rubbing firm circles into my clit. I leaned against him, burrowing my face into his chest.

“Please… Say yes.” His voice was hoarse as he held me close, head comfortably on my own. “I don’t know what I would do if you said no…”

The worst part was that I knew he meant it.

Even before I learned of his true identity, I could tell he was an incredibly lonely person. It took one to know one, after all… And when I realized how much brighter he’d gotten around me during our nightly walks, I knew there was no turning back. It was the day I’d realized I made a horrible mistake. I’d gotten attached to someone, and it was someone I would eventually leave when I returned home.

“... You…” I gripped tightly onto his shirt. “You call me the cruel one…” I couldn’t stop the tears. “You know I could never say no to you, Malleus…!”

“Forgive me.” He kissed away my tears.

“How am I supposed to go home after that?!”

“Don’t.” His voice had descended to a growl. “Just stay with me, and we’ll make a new one.”

“... Okay, but on one condition.” His ears perked high, higher than I’d ever seen. “Make me forget about this pain, and I’ll marry you. Not now, not soon, but sometime in the future, just like you asked.”

“And just how would you like to forget?” I grabbed his horns. His eyes narrowed into slits, almost turning invisible.

“Love me until I can’t even think, anymore.”

His lips curled into a dangerous smile, and in moments, I was airborne, before being pinned onto his bed on all fours.

“If that is what your heart desires, then I shall follow, my love…”

I knew he meant every word of it.

Chapter Text

“May I bless you with a dream tonight, beloved?” I looked up from where I was nested comfortably in his chest. His eyes were closed, but feeling mine, a single fluttered opened.

“Mm? Is that a spell people can do?”

“Not quite. Only I can.”

“There’s a lot of things only you can do, silly.” He puffed up in pride, leaning down to press a sleepy kiss to my head. “... I mean, it’s not gonna hurt or anything, is it?”

“Of course not. I would never dream of hurting you.”

“Mm.” Beneath his gentle touches, it was so easy to just melt into a puddle onto him. “Alright, I don’t see the harm… Just this once, though.”

“And if you enjoy the experience?”

“Let’s see where this goes first, before we get carried away.’

“... Thank you.” He pulled me close. I could feel a quiet rumbling within his chest, and settled in. “... Hm… Hm hmm hm…” Even when he was simply humming, his voice was so deep and rich like honey, weighing down my eyes within mere moments.

I managed to force them open one last time, my vision completely green, before they failed me. I heard him say something, but even that was a blur as my consciousness went completely black.

---

“... Child of man.” I waved off the hand tapping my shoulder. “It is unbecoming of you to slumber in the library, like this…”

“... Five more minutes…” His sigh did not go unmissed, but I ignored it, snuggling further into my arms.

“... Very well.” He brought his seat closer to mine. Though his hands remained above the table, he tapped his foot just the slightest against my own. “I shall ensure no one interrupts you, but only for those five minutes. After that, you risk incurring my wrath for resting during our study session~” … Mm… Suddenly, I felt like my homework would never get done if I kept sleeping.

“Alright, I’m up, I’m up…” My eyes felt impossibly heavy, but once I got those first few blinks in, I was able to manage. “Okay, so what’re we studying today?”

“Well,” he passed me a textbook, already opened to the right chapter. “We are reviewing for the upcoming exam in Trein’s.”

“... Oh, I’m not gonna stay awake for very long, then…” Just looking at ONE date was enough to sap my body of strength.

“Well then, if I may make a suggestion…” He closed the book, and placed it into the air, watching it float back to its section. “I believe you shall pass. You’ve worked hard to ensure your grades are passing for you and Grim’s sake, so would it do such harm to have an actual date for today?”

“We shouldn’t.” He pouted. “It’s irresponsible, both for my grades, and in general. We shouldn’t go out too often in daytime by ourselves. It’s already pushing it when you keep coming into work and asking for me.” He crossed his arms, and leaned just enough so our shoulders touched.

“We can simply say we are friends.”

“You know everytime I say that and you’re nearby, I can see your ears twitch downwards for like. Five minutes afterwards-”

“THEY DO NOT…!” He touched them with a frown. “... You are merely joking, right…?”

“... Do you want the truth?”

“... Oh second thought, no.” I looked around, and once I made sure the coast was clear, grabbed his hand over the table. “Ah…!”

“Look. Even though we’re trying to keep this whole thing secret for the most part, save a handful of people, it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t like saying things that hurt you, so I’d rather us just focus on studying and enjoy that time, rather than anything particularly fancy.” A flush of lavender overcame him, and he held onto my hand tightly.

“... There must be something…” He mumbled the last part silently, beneath a whisper.

“... Hm?”

“... Hm…” His brows knit together.

“Malleus?”

“... Apologies, [Name]. Do disregard that last statement, would you?” Even if I didn’t want to, his gaze practically begged me to.

“Alright, but Malleus… You know that if you WANT to go on a date, you can just ask me. Worst I’m going to say is that we can’t now, but can plan one later.”

“... Do YOU want to go on a date?”

“I would love to. Do you?”

“... Hm…” He squinted, trying to make out my true, hidden intentions, of which there were none. “... Very well. We shall go on a date.” He smiled, ears perking back up. “So where would you like to go, [Name]? No matter where or how far it is, I shall make it happen.”

“Where do YOU wanna go?” And his smile was gone.

“I asked YOU, [Name].”

“I know! But I don’t have anything in mind.”

“Surely you can think of something…”

“How about looking at some old ruins?”

“... You’re choosing that for me, aren’t you?”

“I like seeing how excited you look over dilapidated floorboards.”

“Then we shall also do that, but please choose something else. Why not the Scalding Sands, or another land?”

“I dunno, man. That just feels way too big for an afternoon trip… Like, I know we have the Dark Mirror and all, but still.” For some reason, I felt like I heard a low, frustrated hum, but his lips hadn’t moved in the slightest…

“Alright, answer me this. Is there a single place in all of Twisted Wonderland that uncaring of time, travel, or even century, you would go to if offered such luxury?” I had to think about that one.

“... Oh! Actually!”

“Mm?”

“I’d like to stop in town, if you don’t mind!” As I rose from my seat, we reluctantly released each other’s hand. “I just remembered a new manga I ordered is in, so we could get that, and maybe some ice cream in the parlor downtown!”

“... Is that what you truly desire?” I grinned ear-to-ear, and pressed against him.

“Yeah! I’d really like to do that with you.”

“... You ask for so little, child of man…” He chuckled, eyes closed in mirth. “How am I ever to say no to you?”

“You can’t. It’s against the law. Trust me, I asked Azul.”

“Is that so~?” We walked away from the library, and into the morning sun, but once I felt it’s heat on me, something felt… Wrong…

“... Wha…?” My face stung. Malleus halted in his tracks, looking at me in concern. “Did you feel that…?”

“Feel what, child of man?” It happened again! Something stung my face!

“Ouch…!” Uncaring of others, he was immediately at my side, inspecting my face.

“Describe it to me!”

“Ow! Ouch…! Owowow…!!!”

---

“... Mrghm…!!!” I waved off the paws smacking me.

“GET UP!!!”

“Grim…!” I forced my eyes open. The flames of his ears flickered right before my eyes, blinding me. “What do you want?!”

“... Ah!” Malleus jolted awake behind me, looking even more out of it than I was. He even looked a bit terrified… Well, until he saw Grim. Then he just looked furious, for some reason…

“You forgot to buy tuna today!!!”

“... Are you serious.”

“YEAH.” He grabbed my sleeve and tried dragging me out of bed. “HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE MY MIDNIGHT SNACK IF WE DON’T HAVE TUNA?!?!”

“GET A DIFFERENT SNACK THEN!!!”

“I DON’T WANNA DIFFERENT SNACK!!!”

“OKAY, OKAY, FINE…!!!” I forced myself out of bed. “But I swear to GOD Grim, if I check the pantry and find even ONE can of tuna-”

“THERE’S NOT, I ALREADY CHECKED!!!” I gave Malleus a sympathetic smile as I left the room

---

“... Tch…!” He ran his fingertips along the thick vines that retreated beneath the bed, soon to dissipate into magic. “Next time I shall have to ensure they barricade the door…”

Chapter Text

I stepped into the breakroom, and collapsed to my knees.

“... When… Will the rushes END…?!” Two of my coworkers were crammed on the couch together, completely passed out, and didn’t even twitch at my entrance. I just fell to my side, ready for the ground to reclaim me.

“No no no!!! Sit on a chair, at least!!! My boss rushed over, and started picking me up like a kitten.

“My bones are too mushy for me to stand…” Despite that, I found myself pulled into a chair anyway. The cushioning was infinitely more comfortable than the floor. “Cathy, I feel like I’m about to start my Joker Era.”

“You do realize that none of us understands what that means still, right?”

“It means I’m about to become the laughing stock of MagiCam if I have to talk to even one more person today.”

“Oh goodness, we can’t have THAT happening…” Even she, normally able to force a smile through the thickest of rushes, was looking flat-out miserable. “... Just one more hour… After that, we’re closed for the day.”

“Do you realize how long that is in Retail Years?”

“I know, I know, but the good thing is that most of our reservations are completed, and I can start reducing the amount of walk-ins so half of us can serve, and the other half can clean.”

“Oh god, please let me clean Cathy, PLEASE let me clean…!” She pulled out her planner, and flipped through the names.

“... So… I would LIKE to do that, but our last reservation may make that a little difficult…”

Even without saying it, I already knew what she meant…

---

“Happy White Rabbit Festival~!” Malleus smiled at the stream of rabbit-shaped confetti that showered him. “And welcome to the White Rabbit Cafe! What can I get you today~?”

“Hm… I wonder…” He grabbed one of the little flakes, and held it up to the light. “What CAN you get me today~?”

“Well, I know what you can get me!” Lilia popped right into the booth next to him, upside down.

“GYAH…!”

“LILIA…?!” He chuckled at both our reactions, before taking a seat across Malleus.

“Good evening~ I just happened to overhear that Malleus was coming to visit you, and I couldn’t resist my own interest!”

“... Is that so…~?” I could see Malleus’ fingers digging into his sleeves. “Well, I must apologize, Lilia, as I’ve only made a reservation for ONE, and we couldn’t POSSIBLY ask the cafe to accommodate another-”

“Oh, I already did, no worries! … Besides, you wouldn’t force your caretaker of oh, so-and-so many years to make the walk of shame back to the Walk-In line, would you?”

“... Tch…” He looked at me, and I just gave him my best ‘ PLEASE don’t start drama in the workplace’ face I could do. “... Very well. I shall tolerate your company this once.”

“Thank you, milord~” Lilia got comfy in his seat. For once, he didn’t have to take off his coat, since he was still in his club uniform. “Now, I would just LOVE to have a strawberry-banana smoothie, is that alright, dear?”

“Of course! Do you want every kind of red fruit blended into it like usual?”

“Oh, only if it’s not too much trouble!”

“Not at all!”

“Thank you~” Malleus sulked the entire interaction, but perked up the moment my eyes were back on him. He really was like a very bratty kitten sometimes…

“So what can I get you, sir~?”

“What would you recommend?” I opened the menu to our specialty drinks.

“Right here are some of our Festival Specials! If you’re looking for something crisp and delicious during the heat, I would personally recommend the Rabbit’s Horn! It’s a citrus-punch with passion fruit popping bubbles, and a souvenir straw!”

“Then I shall try that.”

“Great!” I jolted it down. “Anything else, guys~?” Malleus opened his mouth, but Lilia cut him off.

“No, I believe we’ll need a few moments to read the menus! Thank you, [Name]!”

“... And you, sir?” Malleus forced a smile, and bit his tongue of whatever he’d planned to say.

“We are content for now, thank you.”

“... Alright then!”

I went back to make their orders, but also, to get the HELL away from whatever familial drama was about to happen…

---

“... Lilia-”

“Yes, I am aware that I am ‘cramping your style,’ as the youth say.”

“And yet you persist?”

“Yes. I have my reasons.” In an act of complete shamelessness, Lilia grabbed two giant handfuls of hard candies from the table’s candy dish, and shoved them into his pockets.

“For Seven’s sake, Lilia, the candy…?!”

“We need to bring SOMETHING for Silver and Sebek, yes?”

“We could just ORDER them something!”

“Ah, we COULD, but how do you think Sebek would feel, learning that his beloved liege had not invited him to such an occasion? … At least with the candy we can say it was from another store in town, which TECHNICALLY, is not wrong.”

“I’m not lying to them.”

“So are you going to tell the truth? Surely you know what will happen then.”

“...”

---

“Alright guys, I got your drinks-WAH…!!!” I swear to god I look away for five seconds, and they perform mitosis. “Sebek?! Silver?! When did you guys get here?!”

“Just now.” Sticks and leaves were in both Silver and Sebek’s hair. “We took a broom here.”

“I can tell…” I passed Malleus his drink. Unsurprisingly, he looked like a kicked puppy right now. “... You good?”

“Splendid. Absolutely wonderful.”

“Do you want some ice cream?” He brought his hand to his face, and thought it over.

“... Not yet.”

“Okay, I’ll make sure to give you an extra scoop when you do.” He smiled, though, quickly wiped it off at Lilia’s chuckle.

“Oh, to be young again~”

“Silence.” Sebek slammed his menu down, and pointed violently to one of the entrees.

“HUMAN!” He was screaming, but it was the indoor scream he got accustomed to doing in here. “WHAT IS THIS?!”

“Which one?” He tapped it for emphasis. Oh, those are Croquette’s! They’re fried potato fritters with ham and cheese decorated like little hedgehogs, and flamingo picks!.”

“Ah…!” His stomach rumbled. “... GIVE ME THOSE!!!”

“Do you want your usual drink as well? The Lemon-Lime Refresher?”

“YES.” I took his menu.

“And do you want the chicken salad sandwiches with extra, EXTRA tomato like usual, Lilia?”

“Hm…” He looked through the menu. “Actually… I think I’ll take a steak this time! Make it RARE, rare!” Oh, the poor chef… “And for the side, I’ll have the squash blossom salad.”

“With tomato?”

“With tomato.”

“Cool!” The day he didn’t get tomato would be scary. “Alright, who’s next?” Malleus gestured to Silver.

“I’d also like a steak, but done medium, with a baked potato.”

“You want any toppings with that potato?”

“... No, I feel like it would be too much trouble for you.”

“I can guarantee you, it’s not. Go wild, man!”

“... I see…” Lilia nudged his shoulder. “... I would like it with all the toppings then, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not!” With that, I turned to Malleus. “And for you, sir?”

“I shall leave it up to you.” He smirked, and passed me his menu.

“Alright~ I’ll try to pick something you enjoy, then!” Making sure I had all the menus, I left their side.

“... Ah!” They all looked at Silver. “I forgot to ask for some coffee…” In just a few moments, however, [Name] returned, placing down a fresh pot of black coffee, and Sebek’s own drink.

“Here you go, guys!” They disappeared back into the hall, and Lilia smirked.

“Well! We are going to have to tip our server VERY well!” They already planned on it like usual, but it was still fun to say.

---

“Ough… My feet are killing me…” Luckily, as Cathy said, our customers had slowed down, so I snuck out of the kitchen for a few moments while food was being prepared so I could wallow in misery. “I can’t wait to get home… Whoa…!” I was yanked into the restroom, and immediately pulled taut into someone’s embrace. “MMPH…?!”

“Apologies.” Hearing Malleus, I immediately relaxed.

“Mm…” I just let myself melt into his embrace. He laughed, resting his chin on my head. “This is nice…”

“I must agree.” I ran a hand along his back, smiling at his pleased chirp. “... I had wanted you all to myself today, but it seems those plans have been taken from me…”

“I think Lilia’s just worried about you, honestly.”

“He can worry about me at home.”

“He’s like your dad. It’s his job, you know.”

“... I know…” He took a deep breath, and nuzzled against me. “Are you busy once your shift ends?”

“I have plans to go home and pass out for at least an hour, but I could try accommodating you into my schedule…”

“I would like that.” He kissed the top of my head. “Very much.”

“Is there anything specific you want to do?” He held on tighter, reluctant to let me go, despite us both knowing we’d have to soon, or both parties would get suspicious.

“I just wish to be around you…”

“Then come pick me up after work, or at least text me to meet you if Lilia gives you more trouble.”

“I’ll come. My phone is broken, anyway.”

“Again?” He released me, cheeks flushed.

“... It was an accident.”

“... Hm~” I straightened his shirt and smoothed out his hair. “I believe you, but you really do have to be more careful, alright?”

“I do try…! They are just so… Fragile…” Once he was perfect, I pushed him towards the door. “... Ah, how much longer…?”

“Probably about…” I checked my phone. “Thirty minutes until I’m done!”

“Thirty.” He opened the door, and looked over his shoulder as he snuck out. “We will be leaving not a moment later.”

“Is that a promise?”

“No.” He grinned. “It’s a threat.”

With that, I was left alone. I’d need to wait a few moments, since leaving right after him would look suspicious, to say the least, but that was fine…

It just meant I had a few more moments to wallow in misery before my freedom…

Chapter Text

“... Hey.” He hummed in affirmation as we looked upon the different tubs of ice cream in the freezers. “What’re you thinking of getting?”

“I was considering Mint Chocolate Chip myself. You?”

“Oh, you know, the usual.”

“I see…” I checked the clock, realizing we only had another ten minutes before the store would close.

“Okay just grab a couple, and we’ll blast! I DON’T wanna be ‘those customers’ that everyone hates!”

“Very well.” He picked a few and placed them into the handbasket while I snatched some cones and whipped cream. “But if you regret my choices, you have naught to blame but yourself~”

“I know you wouldn’t do that to me!” The cashier looked dead inside as we put everything on the conveyer belt.

“Oh? But I would have more ice cream for myself…”

“You would also be risking our sleepover being cancelled!”

“Oh… Now THAT I couldn’t have…” As I reached for my wallet, he coughed.

“No, I’M paying for this one!”

“Are you, though~?” He pulled his own wallet out. “Besides, it is the least I could do for you inviting me along this little trip of yours.”

“No, no, none of that, mister…!” There was another cough, this time, from the cashier. “Oh, sorry…!” I quickly passed them the Madol (much to Malleus’ frustration,) and grabbed our bags. “Have a nice night!”

“You too.” Not a single ounce of serotonin was in their voice. I could only feel pity for them as I ushered Malleus out of the store, out into the empty streets of downtown.

“... Well, THAT was rather rude…” He fumed, eyes glancing back to the store. “I do say, I do not recall meeting such a dour shopkeeper in my life.”

“Oh, don’t mind them too much! We don’t know what’s going on in their life, after all.” I also related a bit too much, but I wasn’t gonna dwell on that and ruin my night. “Also, thanks for taking me out here! I could’ve tried scaling the campus gate, but. I don’t feel like eating dirt tonight!” I peeked into the bag, unable to resist a smile at a carton of my favorite flavor.

“Please, [Name], do not hurt yourself for such frivolous things…”

“Hey!” I took my ice cream out and grabbed the spoon I’d stashed away in my pocket. “Ice cream is SERIOUS business!” His eyes widened as I wrestled open the lid, and just took a bite straight from the giant carton.

“... What are you doing?”

“Mm?” I quickly swallowed my spoonful, marveling at its rich taste. “What does it look like, Malleus?”

“... From the carton??? Like some sort of heathen…?!”

“It’s not like anyone’s even around~” I grabbed another spoonful and held it out to him. “Want some?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He stood straight, eyes shut and refusing to face me. “I could not partake in such horrid behavior.”

“Well shoot… Here I was, hoping to enjoy a nice walk with ice cream with my lovely partner…” I pitifully scooped another spoonful, and sighed as loud as I could, watching his ears tip low, and a light flush of lavender cross his face. “Instead, I’ll just have to sit here… Alone… Sadly eating ice cream myself like some loser…” As I popped the next spoonful into my mouth, he groaned, rubbing his eyes.

“Truly, it is terrifying, the power you hold over me…”

“Oh~?” Looking around to ensure we were alone, he leaned down with a furious pout.

“Just ONE spoonful, and then we BOTH will wait until we return to Ramshackle for the rest.”

“... Fine~” I got a big one for him and pressed it against his lips. “But I’m not sharing the rest of mine as punishment!”

“Mm.” He parted his lips, long, forked tongue slithering out to curl around the spoon. He avoided my eyes as he licked off each and every last speck of cream, before releasing it with a pop.

“Cute~” He exhaled loudly, unable to speak as he let the treat sit in his mouth to melt. “Anyway, a promise is a promise. I’ll eat the rest back at Ramshackle.” He nodded, before finally swallowing, tongue peeking out to lick the last bit on his lips.

“Thank you, dearest.” He stepped slightly closer to me. “The ice cream was delicious, as well.”

“Good! Keep being sweet, and MAYBE I’ll let you have another bite when we get back!” He chuckled, pausing his steps. I quickly halted once I noticed, suspicious of his cheeky smirk.

“Actually…” He leaned down again, whispering quietly into my ear. “I find myself craving a different type of treat… Won’t you indulge me?”

… Suddenly, it felt like the ice cream would melt by the time we actually got around to eating it…

Chapter Text

Consistency was key. If one planned every second of their life with maximum efficiency, then days would go by smoother. It was something he had lived by for a long time…

Which is what made today’s letter so terrifying.

“... Ugh…!” He’d already broken tradition and bought two letter sets. Even his usual shopkeep stared in awe as if he’d grown a second head. The other letter lay abandoned to his side, not a single word upon its pages, while the one in his hands had dried. For a while, in fact, but he couldn’t bring himself to seal it within its envelope. With shaking hands, he reread over the passage again, the permanent crease in his brow returning full-force, despite his best efforts not to.

‘I have been invited to a festival by a friend. I shall be unable to send more letters until my return, but rest assured, I will be cautious and on my best behavior.’

It was so… Blunt. He’s never had troubles penning his parents before, but now he was wondering if all his correspondences sounded like this. For the first time in years, he felt… Anxious. Even last Halloween, he’d felt more euphoric, than anything…

“... I should rewrite it-” He reached for the second letter, freezing when he realized there was only one more. If he rewrote this one, he wouldn’t have a spare for if he decided to not attend. Likewise, if he committed to both, he would HAVE to go, otherwise, he would be nothing more than a liar! “... That idiot…!”

He opened his desk drawer, snatching out a third envelope from within. It was grey, sealed not with wax, but a sticker of some character. He’d tried to rip it open when it first arrived, but for some reason, found himself cutting open the top instead. Now, he slipped the parchment within out, reading over the handwriting.

‘Hey Rollo, quick question so was the lunch thing a joke? Like. Literally only having coffee, grapes, and croissants EVERY DAY-actually that doesn’t matter so anyway! It’s gonna be Halloween soon, and you said you didn’t get out much last time so… You wanna hang out? It won’t be on the day itself since I have plans but recently Sage’s Island’s become a hot spot for Halloween stuff so there’s lots of stuff we could do before!

I know it’s not really your thing, so like. I won’t be mad if you decline obviously, but since you took me around the City of Flowers last time, I feel like it’d only be fair of me to do the same! Also Grim saw me writing this he said if you do come he wants some more cheese from that one vendor. I told him no promises but-’

There were a few splotches of ink.

‘CHEESE.’

More splotches.

‘SORRY I GOT THE PEN BACK. But yeah he would appreciate some cheese.’ He found himself smiling. SMILING of all things. Good Seven, just what has happened to him this year…?!

‘... But yeah! Oh, and to answer your question from last time, we got our A/C fixed!!! We’re gonna survive the winter! (No thanks to the Headmaster.) Anyway, looking forward to your next letter!’

P.S: Enclosed are some mints from The Lounge. Don’t tell Azul.’

He hadn’t even touched the candies, they were still in the drawer as well, in their flawless, patterned packaging. Really, the man wouldn’t even be offended, but they both knew… If he found out Rollo tried SOMETHING, it would be sales-pitch time.

“... Perhaps it WOULD do me some good to go outside of the city…” He couldn’t even remember the last time he did… Actually, he could. It was when he left home. But there wasn’t a REASON to leave, was there? Besides, even if he did not stay IN Night Raven College, if news that he was in town were to arise, then he would surely have a FEW ill-meaning visitors, to put it lightly…

That wasn’t even bringing up Draconia.

“... Ugh…!” Last time [Name] was here, he caused nothing but trouble! Even once they’d talked with one another, he still felt the man’s eyes burning into his back further within the day, and at night?! He was woken up by the gargoyles!!! And who did he find playing chess with them?! MALLEUS. DRACONIA.

And all the man did was give a half-hearted apology before returning to his game…!

… Really. Going to Sage’s Island was just asking for trouble. It was better to stay in Noble Bell, and continue his normal routine, mostly stress-free…

He grabbed the second letter, quickly jolting down his usual manner of note, and sealed it shut. He looked to the second, frowning, and sealed it shut as well. That way, if someone opened it, he would be aware.

“... It is late.” Later that he usually stayed awake. Quite frankly, he was exhausted… “I shall send it off in the morning…”

For now, they were abandoned on his desk. The robes of his uniform felt heavier than lead as he pulled them off, and for once, he couldn’t bother to change into his night robes. He just collapsed in his slacks and shirt, feeling sleep overtake him.

-----------

They were gone.

“Ah, Flamm…!” He ignored the student, tearing apart his room in search of the letters. He had overslept. OVERSLEPT, and now The Seven themselves were punishing him for such hubris. “FLAMM…!”

“WHAT?!?!” The student flinched, taking a step back. The Council President being mad wasn’t exactly uncommon, but he looked ready to explode.

“U-uh… One of the teachers went on their rounds, and noticed you forgot to send your daily letters yesterday… They just wanted me to tell you they shipped it off this morning…!”

“... What?” They took another step back. He went straight from Anger to Terror, and that was arguably MORE terrifying. “You jest, right…?”

“... No…?” He fell to his knees. “... I’m just… Going to go, now… Bye…!”

The student ran for their life, leaving him alone.

“... I have to go.” Rollo looked to his hands, which trembled violently. “Otherwise, I’d… Be a liar…”

Going on a trip… Theoretically, it was nothing but a nuisance. But actually going?

… Heavens, he didn’t even know the first THING about going on a trip. How was he supposed to plan around this…?!

-----------

“President…!” He scowled. He was already frustrated since his favorite cafe wasn’t open so early, but he was at least hoping to avoid his peers… Alas, it would be rude to ignore them. He forced his expression into something more palatable, and turned to them.

“Yes? Have I missed any paperwork before my leave?” The answer was no. He had triple-checked.

“No, no! We just wanted to give you this!!!” The second student passed him a bag.

“Promise you won’t look until you get on the train, okay?” He squinted. This was suspicious.

“... I suppose I won’t… But let me guess. You both want souvenirs in return?”

“Wha? No, of course not!”

“Yeah! I mean, if you WANT to get us some, then sure, but we’re doing this because we’re happy for you!!!” … More suspicious.

“... Happy. For me.” They both smiled. It hurt his eyes.

“I mean… Yeah. We’ve been at NBC our entire tenures together, but you’ve never gone outside the city… Ever since that incident last Halloween, it feels like something’s changed, you know?”

“Yeah! It feels like… You’re enjoying life a little more.”

“... I see…” It was nothing but foolish nonsense, then. If he truly had changed, then wouldn’t HE of all people have noticed? “Thank you for your gift, then. However, I still expect for you both to keep up with Student Council duties while I am away, is that understood?”

“Yes sir!”

“Got it!” Reluctantly, he turned away. The train’s final whistle blared as he stepped onto the car, taking the first seat he found, and tucked his suitcase next to him. Unfortunately, it was right by the window, and he felt his face heat up in shame as his peers waved after him, even so childish as to run along the platform, shouts of “HAVE FUN!!!” and “MAKE SURE TO WRITE US!!!” until they fully disappeared from his view. Really, he was grateful no one else was in the car to witness such tomfoolery…

“... Hmph.” He looked out the window, a sea of colors passing along. It’d been so long since he’d taken a train, and it felt… Strange. There was nothing else he could do right now, except study the maps of Sage’s Island more intensely, but wouldn’t it be better to save that for later in the trip?

He looked at the bag in his hands.

“I suppose I can inspect this, now…” He carefully unlatched it, immediately being blasted with a savory scent that was unmistakable. “Huh…?!”

It was two freshly baked croissants, exactly 16 grapes, and a thermos. Hesitantly, he took a sip.

It was a cafe au lait. Not as good as his usual cup, but cafe au lait nonetheless.

“... Really, they are such idiots…” His face felt hot again, and much to his horror, he couldn’t fight off his smile as he took a bite of a croissant.

-----------

Oh. This was not consistent. He regretted this already.

“Welcome to Sage’s Island!”

“Ah, thank you…” He clutched his bag tight. “Where do I go, monsieur…?”

“Right down and take a left, you’ll find Baggage Check there!”

“Ah, thank you…” He quickly made his way down the plane. Normally, when someone spoke in another accent, they were a foreigner, but this time, HE was the odd one out. At least he knew the language…

“Hey, do you hear the guy in front of us?” He twitched at the obnoxious voice behind him. “His English is SO good…!”

“Right~? He was so quiet the entire time, I wasn’t expecting it! That accent, too… Isn’t it so cool~?”

“Hey, hey, we should talk to him-” He rushed faster, feeling his anger beginning to flare up. He forgot there were idiots out there who treated the unknown as mere party tricks…!

“... Haaah…” He could only hope that if [Name] wasn’t already here to pick him up, they would be soon… “... Ah…! My suitcase!” He’d almost forgotten entirely. He went left, and as if the Seven themselves decided to have mercy on his soul, his suitcase was right within sight. “Thank goodness…!” He grabbed it, and ran for the exit.

It wasn’t a large building, which was surprising, though considering how small Sage’s Island was, perhaps it was to be expected… Really, the only reason they probably HAD an airport was simply because it was an island. That being said, it was ridiculously cramped…! Though [Name] had told him the school’s Halloween festivities would not start for another week, there were still too many people chattering about of their plans.

He felt… Overwhelmed, to put it lightly. And bad. In fact, he was almost certain a migraine was coming on…

“... ROLLO!!!” He whipped his head towards the shout. From the sea of tourists, he could barely see the hand waving above. “ROLLO! OVER HERE…!!!”

Another mercy. The Seven were either planning something cruel, or had decided he deserved kindness. (God, he sure hoped it was the latter.)

“QUIET DOWN, IDIOT…!” He squeezed through the crowd, doing his best not to hit anyone with his suitcase. “YOU’RE ATTRACTING TOO MUCH ATTENTION…!”

“OH, I’M SORRY! WOULD YOU RATHER ME QUIETLY WHISPER?!” They quietly mouthed their next sentence, making his brow twitch.

“ALRIGHT, I GET IT…!” He finally reached them, and their ridiculous grin. “If I knew you’d be so rude, I would have stayed at Noble Bell College…!”

“But! You didn’t!” They quickly scuttled for the exit, towards a black carriage. “Honestly, I’m surprised you did, but also I’m genuinely glad to see you!” They opened the door for him.

“Trust me, I’m surprised as well… Though, I can’t say it’s unfortunate seeing you again…” He stepped in, and immediately froze, finding another person in the carriage.

“... Flamme.” … On one hand, he should’ve expected that [Name] would have a chaperone. This clearly seemed to be one of Night Raven College’s carriages, so for a non-standard trip, they would want a teacher to ensure nothing foul was amuck.

On the other… Professor Trein’s glare, though justified, was discomforting.

“Ah…” He couldn’t look him in the eyes. “Good afternoon, Professor Trein…” Surely they had OTHER professors who could-... No, even if they did, Trein certainly would have taken the role, being there that night.

“Professor, you’re scaring him.” The elder just crossed his arms as [Name] passed up the suitcase, Rollo pulling it close to him.

“I’m doing no such thing, isn’t that right, Flamme?” He forced a smile as [Name] hopped in, taking a seat next to Trein.

“... No, of course not.” Before he realized it, his handkerchief was out, concealing his quivering lip. “Your presence just caught me off guard, is all…”

“... Hmph.” [Name] rolled their eyes, before giving an apologetic look to Rollo.

“Sorry… It was either this, or borrowing one of Ignihyde’s blastcycles, and I’m pretty sure you would’ve hated that, so…” He had to think about it for a moment. It’d been a while since he even heard the term, but upon remembering just what those steel death traps were, he gulped.

“Yes. Absolutely not.”

The temporary terror was better.

“... So!” The door shut behind them, and the carriage came to life. Unlike the smooth plane ride, the roughness actually brought a sense of comfort to him. “How’ve you been, Rollo? School’s been good?”

“... As well as it can be.” Really, there wasn’t much to say about it. “And you?” They flinched, also avoiding eye-contact with Trein.

“... Grim’s been struggling a bit!” The man laughed, but spared them the humiliation of the truth, instead looking out the window. “Everything’s been good aside from that! … Well, as good as it CAN be with some of the people here… Haha…” Their laugh concealed a pain he hoped to never understand.

“... Anyway!” [Name] clapped their hands together. “I made sure to catch up on EVERYTHING, so during the afternoons, we can hang out together, no worries! Is there anything specific you wanted to try while you’re here?” … Ah.

He forgot to study the map.

“I…” He struggled to think of anything, but there WASN’T anything much to consider about Sage’s Island normally. “... Will let you decide-”

“NOPE.” As if expecting this, they whipped out a travel guide from their pocket, and passed it to him. “And don’t just pick the first thing you see, either! Pick something you ACTUALLY wanna do…!”

“I…” They glared at him. It wasn’t severe, but it still was unsettling, coming from them. “... Very well! I shall give you an answer in the morning.”

“Great!” The shoreline came into view, and he found himself watching in awe at the sunset outside. It wasn’t anything uncommon, but seeing how it reflected off the crisp, blue waves rather than a sea of flowers was… Interesting.

“Now Flamm.” He whipped his attention to Trein. “While Night Raven College could host you, I have personally asked the Headmaster to reserve a hotel room for you in town. While I do believe you have changed, I still do not think it’s wise to have you stay on campus.”

“Thank you, sir.” He wouldn’t lie. That really WAS a miracle. The professor must have had quite the authority in the school to convince the Headmaster for such an expense…

“I trust you will be on your best behavior?”

“Of course. As a representative of Noble Bell College, I would offer no less.” Trein smirked.

“And you brought no plants with you, correct?”

“IT WAS ONE TIME…!” Rollo quickly covered his mouth as Trein laughed, while [Name] just smacked their face in shame.

-----------

“Let’s see…” I opened my bag, double-checking that I bought everything for dinner from Sam’s. If I missed even one thing, Grim wouldn’t forgive me… “Potatoes… Onions…”

When I reached the front door, I awkwardly reached into my pocket for my keys, and unlocked it, quickly slipping in. The dorm was dark, so I could only guess Grim either left and remembered to turn off the lights, or he was sleeping.

“Carrots… Consomme-” The lights suddenly flickered on, revealing an entire party of students in the Lounge, all with angry glares, or forced smiles. “GYAH…!!!”

“[Name].” The way they all said my name in perfect unison was the most terrifying thing I’d ever heard.

“WHAT THE FUCK, GUYS…?!” Looking through them all, I realized it was everyone from the NBC trip except Malleus, Idia, Silver, and Azul. “... Oh god. Did you find out that I was the one who ate the last croissant from the trip-” Ruggie jumped up from his seat.

“You WHAT?!?!”

“... Nothing!” I took a step back. “Anyway, why the fuck are you in my dorm…?!” In completely perfect unison again, (really, they should start a choir,) they all responded with the same thing.

“ROLLO FLAMM.”

I just facepalmed.

“I told EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU that I was going to invite him. And what did each and everyone of you say…?!” NOW they were all dead silent. After a few moments, Riddle cleared his throat.

“I… Thought you asked if I wanted ‘a roll or flan…’” … Oh. That’s why his ‘yes’ was so resounding…

“... Riddle…” Immediately, the excuses poured in.

“I thought you were JOKING.”

“I didn’t think he’d actually say YES…!”

“I ONLY AGREED BECAUSE LORD MALLEUS AGREED, BUT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CHANGE YOUR MIND!!!”

“HE DIDN’T EVEN BRING CHEESE OR ANYTHING-”

“ALRIGHT, THAT’S ENOUGH!!!” I picked my groceries off the floor. “You guys had your chance to say no, and none of you did! So NOW you have to deal with it!”

“But…!”

“HE’S-”

“I DON’T CARE!!!” I turned my back to them. If Grim was asleep upstairs, he’d magically wake during dinner. “I’m not even asking you to INTERACT with him! Hell, just leave him alone if you want, just don’t go out of your way to antagonize him!”

I ignored the rest of their whines and shut the kitchen door behind me.

“Ugh…!” I tied my apron tight, rolled up my sleeves, and got chopping.

-----------

The soup smelled delicious…

“Ah…” I had to resist the urge to take too many sample bites, but it would be worth it. There was enough that we could even have leftovers the next day! … If it survived that long, it could. “... Want a bite?”

“Oh?” Despite how quiet he could be, I’d gotten used to Malleus sneaking up on me. He leaned over my shoulder, face passive, but eyes sparkling. “If you insist, I shall indulge you.”

“Okay, well I won’t FORCE you, so you won’t ruin your appetite for dinner back at Diasomnia-”

“[Name].” His voice took on a grave tone as I laughed.

“Alright, alright~” I made sure to get a hearty chunk of potato in the spoonful, and held it up to him. “Careful! It’s still hot!”

“Thank you.” He gently blew on it, and took the bite. His eyes fluttered shut as he savored the taste, and gently released the spoon.

“It’s good, right?”

“... Hm…” He raised a brow. “‘Good’ is not the word I would use…”

“Is it awesome? Spectacular?? Marvelous???” He grinned, placing a chaste kiss to my forehead.

“I was thinking… Divine.”

“Ooh~ Divine~” I dramatically swooned into his arms, and he caught me. “Keep talking like that, and I’ll have no choice but to give you a bowl~!”

“Really now? In that case…” More kisses, all feather light across my face, and each managed to make my heart flutter more than the last.

“NOOOOOO!!!” I weakly fought to escape his grip, only to find myself dragged to the ground. “HELP~ AN EVIL DRAGON IS ATTACKING ME~”

“Mmh~!” He pulled me into his lap and playfully nipped at my neck.

“GYAH…!” This time, I smacked him away for real. “CUT THAT OUT, YOU…!”

“I don’t see the problem. You enjoyed when I devoured you last week-”

“IT IS ONLY SIX IN THE EVENING.”

“And?” He snuck another nip. “It simply means the night will be long.”

“Which means our SOUP will get COLD.”

“... Ah.” He pouted. “Now THAT is truly a reason to free you…”

“Thank you.” He still snuck another kiss in.

“... For now, at least.” I rolled my eyes as both of us rose to our feet.

“Sure, Mal Mal~” I reached for some bowls, but hesitated. “Wait…” I looked around the kitchen. “... Grim’s still not here.”

“Strange.” Malleus peeked out the door. “Usually he arrives the very moment the scent of your cooking is thick in the air…”

There was a knock at the door. Loud. Frantic. I gave an apologetic glance to Malleus before rushing out of the kitchen to the front door.

“... Hello?” I opened it, and saw the last person I expected.

“I GOT MY CHEESE, HENCHMAN~!!” Rollo just groaned, passing me the familiar he had tucked under his arms like a football.

“Oh my god.” I just took Grim. Speechless.

“It seems he was not willing to wait even ONE DAY for his gift.” His words were ice cold, but I couldn’t blame him. He didn’t have a phone, and I’m sure as hell he wasn’t willing to babysit Grim for an entire NIGHT.

“Rollo I am SO sorry…!” The second his name was uttered, I could feel Malleus behind us. Rollo hadn’t noticed, so he must’ve been out of view.

“Just try not to let this happen again…! I was lucky enough not to run into any students, but I cannot guarantee other trips would result in the same outcome…”

“I SWEAR I won’t-oh my god wait you still have to walk back.” People would start heading out for dinner if they hadn’t already…! “Look, I’ll walk you back-”

“Please, don’t trouble yourself.”

“Dude I am doing it for your safety. Literally. The people here are awful-” He flinched, and with the shadow suddenly cast over us, I knew why.

“I will escort Flamm.” I didn’t need to turn around to know Malleus had the biggest grin on his face. “It will take but a moment.”

“You…!” Ah. This was the last situation I wanted to happen. “No. I shall go myself…!”

“You two…!” Grim just looked between the two, and slowly brought the cheese to his mouth. “AND THAT’S FOR BOTH OF US…!”

“NYAGH…!” I confiscated the brie. “MY CHEESE…!!!”

“I’ll be back…!” I rushed into the dorm, knowing if I didn’t put this in a child-proof drawer now, I wouldn’t even get a crumb.

“Very well.”

“Take your time, Child of Man.”

---

“... Draconia.”

“Flamm.” They stood in awkward silence. Malleus still wore a smile, while the handkerchief had returned to hide Rollo’s scowl. “It has been quite some time, has it not?”

“Not enough, if you ask me.”

“We can both agree.” The fae looked back into the dorm, where the sound of cheese-related violence was thick in the air. “You could attempt to walk back and perhaps be assaulted by our peers, or you could allow me to escort you. I think we can both agree that it will be easiest for [Name].”

“It would… But do you truly think I’m foolish enough to trust myself alone with you?!”

“You are a fool not to.” His expression shifted to a stoic one. “You forget, Flamm. I am royalty. Unless you dare to disrespect me as you have on that night, I have no cause to bring harm upon you… Not without consequence.”

He said that, but Flamm had a hard time believing him,

“... GRIM!!!” Malleus didn’t even wince at the crash within.

“... Is this normal…?” He just shrugged.

“Stew Sundays. It always turns into an affair.” It was not a reassuring answer in the slightest.

“... Fine…! I shall allow you to escort me, but only this once-” The fae snapped his fingers, and suddenly, they were right on the outskirts of town. “... HUH?!”

“We have arrived!” All that remained of his magic were faint traces of fireflies’ light. “Now, you can find the rest of the way, yes?”

“... Of course…” It was… A bit humiliating. If he could teleport at all, much less so easily, then he really never had a chance last Halloween…

… Well, that’s not right. Of all the people who attempted to defeat him, he was certainly the closest. Another five minutes, and he just might have succeeded.

“... Flamm.” He had already started walking off when the voice froze him in his tracks. It was short, curt, yet spoken with such authority, that he couldn’t disobey even if he wanted to.

“... Yes, Draconia?” He still refused to look over his shoulder. They had to be civil, but he wasn’t affording more luxury than that.

“[Name] desires to be your friend, and I will not stop them. That being said…” Suddenly, that cursed voice was right next to his ear. Each hushed whisper sent a shock of terror down his spine that threatened to freeze him solid.

“If you do anything to hurt my beloved, you will have wished you prayed to The Seven that I let your pitiful body burn upon the flames last Halloween…”

He couldn’t bring himself to respond.

---

“... Okay, I’m-” Rollo was gone. “... Back.”

“Welcome back, [Name].” Malleus looked too giddy for his own good. “Hopefully Grim did not give you too much grief.” I glared.

“What did you do?!”

“Mm? Nothing. I simply returned him to town. We both agreed it would save you unnecessary trouble.”

“And nothing else?”

“No. It would be quite rude to make plans with him when you were not around.”

“And if I ASK him if there was anything else…?!”

“You shall receive no other answer.”

“... Uh-huh…” I fixed my raggedy uniform. I may have won the cheese battle, but the cost… “I’ll talk to him tomorrow then… So are you still joining us for stew, or…?”

With a wide, too-confident smile, he re-entered the dorm.

-----------

“... What are these?” He looked in great concern at the donuts in front of him.

“Oh, they’re a local specialty!” He grabbed one, staring at it in concern. “They’re potato donuts!”

“... Potato donuts.”

“Yeah! Donuts! … But potato!” At that exact moment, two different people pressed their faces against the glass, and a third glared though the glass. “... Hold on just a second.”

“Please.” I closed the shutters.

“HEY…!”

“DEAR TRICKSTER…!” We both ignored them.

“Okay so anyway, they’re like. REALLY good.”

“I see…” He held it up to the light, admiring its crispy, golden shine. “I suppose it would do no harm to have one-”

“YOINK!” And like that, it was gone.

“RUGGIE…!” He ripped a giant chunk of the donut, before taking a seat by Rollo.

“So cruel, [Name]~ Going out to my favorite place and not inviting me~”

“Your favori-YOU SAID THAT LAST TIME YOU CRASHED AT A RESTAURANT.”

“Hey! Anywhere I can get free grub’s my favorite for the day!”

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT, GET OUT-whoa…!” My side of the booth suddenly dipped beneath additional weight.

“Oh Rollo~!” Immediately, he hid his face in his hands. “Comme c'est merveilleux de te revoir, mon ami~!”

“Nous ne sommes pas amis.” There was no hesitation in his words.

“Ah…!” Suddenly, both of us were shoved further into the booth.

“Hello!” Vil’s voice was sickly sweet, sending a shiver down my spine. “You must be this Rollo I’ve heard so much about~” He looked at me, and I shook my head.

“... Yes, I am Rollo Flamm… And you are?” I facepalmed.

“Schoenheit.” He didn’t bother extending a hand out of formality. “And you have a LOT of explaining to do, you overripe vitelotte…!”

(I snuck my phone under the table to look the last word up. Apparently purple potatoes were a thing…)

-----------

“Dude. I am SO. SORRY.”

Vil was. Ruthless, to put it lightly.

“You’ve done nothing wrong… Besides, I cannot say I was entirely undeserving of said lecture… Even if it WAS a bit extreme…” At one point, the owner actually came over to ask him to quiet down, but Vil just passed him a handful of Madol, and since no one else was there… Well, he just shrugged and locked the door. “Really, it was those other idiots that were annoying…!”

Ruggie just ate all the donuts and cackled with each insult, while Rook had watched Vil with stars in his eyes, occasionally giving Rollo a cute wave.

Really, I could only describe him as Vil’s literal lapdog at that moment.

“I’ll talk to Vil about it later.” Well. That was a lie, actually. I think he’d kill me if I tried. “Let’s just do something else…” Food later. We could just pick up take-out or something for dinner and eat in his hotel room. (I was afraid Vil would come back for Round 2…)

“I happened to see there was a bookshop in town… Perhaps a visit there would be nice?”

“Yeah! I think I know the one you’re talking about, too!” We walked down the worn stone path, missing the three pairs of eyes follow us. “It’s a small place! Most people just order their stuff through Sam, but I like going there to have a cup of tea and relax once in a while!” He smiled at that.

“That sounds lovely, right now…”

---

“Can you hear what they’re saying…?!” Sebek and Epel strained their ears, but like Deuce, they couldn’t really hear much.

“I think I heard something about a bookstore…?”

“THEY NEED TO SPEAK LOUDER-” On instinct, both boys muffled him with a palm. “MMPH…!” They grabbed him back behind the wall just as [Name] and Rollo whipped around oh high alert,

---

“That was Draconia’s retainer, yes?! The annoying one?!”

“I swear to GOD that was!” No one was around, though. Slowly, we took a few steps back. “... If we run, he’ll catch us just back away slowly, and do NOT make eye contact…!”

“Why are you speaking of him like he’s some wild beast…?!” In one of the alleys, three heads poked out, all ducking back in when they noticed us looking.

“Fuck me…” Rollo gasped. “We’re being chased by ATHLETES, of all people…!”

“Swearing isn’t going to help in this situation!!!” I looked around us, noticing we were right next to a general goods store.

“Stay here…!”

“Wait, don’t-”

---

“[NAME] LEFT HIM!!!” Epel immediately rolled up his sleeves.

“Time f’a lil’ NRC greeting, then-”

“No, guys…!” Deuce snatched both their collars. “We’re just gonna have a talk.”

“DIDN’T YOU SAY YOU WERE GOING TO DECK HIM LAST HALLOWEEN?!”

“YEAH! Y’were more pissed than t’rest of us!!!”

“OI! IT WAS A PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE REACTION AT THE TIME! GET OFF MY DAMN BACK…!”

“Ugh, WHATEVER!!!” Sebek jumped out from the alley. “ROLLO FLAMM-”

He was gone.

“... GYAH…!!!”

---

We watched from above as Sebek fell to his knees, screaming in agony.

“... Is he always this loud?” Rollo cringe in disgust, raising our broom a little higher in vain, attempting to quiet the noise.

“Sometimes he’s louder!”

Epel and Deuce dragged him away, no one in town batting an eye at the sight. Everyone was used to it.

(Still didn’t change the fact that Sebek was somehow Sage Island’s Favorite Honorary Grandchild, still…)

-----------

We had plans to stop by Ramshackle for lunch. HAD plans.

“Ah, hello there!” Trey stretched his hand to Rollo, who eye’d it with distrust. “Trey Clover. Riddle’s told me about you.”

“... I see…” I could tell it took every fiber of his body to reciprocate the handshake. “Nothing good, I suppose?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that~” As they talked, I investigated every inch of the dorm for anything amiss. “He had a great time in The City of Flowers! He hasn’t gotten many opportunities to travel, so it was something special for him.”

“I see… I am glad to hear he enjoyed it.” There was a knock at the Guest Room door. I whipped my head back, finding Jamil with a casserole dish.

“Good afternoon.” He went right for the impromptu tea party Trey had set up. “Kalim requested, as a show of good faith, I bring a home-cooked meal for our campus’ guest.” His voice was… Not dead-pan. He was smiling, in fact.

… This was so fucking sus…

“Kalim… He is the House Leader of Scarabia, yes?” Just barely, I caught Jamil flinch. “I saw his name in the papers Night Raven College had sent… While I appreciate such kindness, it truly is wasted on me-”

“I insist.” The dish was placed closest to him. “It would be a shame to let food go to waste.” I moved to lock the door, but right as I reached for the knob, it opened.

“ROLLO~” He looked ready to jump out the window at Azul’s voice. “My, my~! It’s been MUCH too long, hasn’t it~?” I tried shutting the door, but it was kept open with inhuman strength.

“GUEST ROOM’S FULL, NO MORE VISITORS-”

“Oh, you can fit just a few more…!”

“Whoa…!” I was knocked back. Azul quickly rushed in, Floyd and Jade following close behind with their own dishes in one hand, and… The other dragging Idia inside.

“STOP…!!!” He looked worse than death itself as he struggled to escape their grip. “I TOLD YOU I DIDN’T WANT TO GO TO THE POTLUCK…!!!”

My blood ran cold.

“Idia.” I grabbed his shoulders. The twins finally released him, knowing his fate was already sealed.

“Hiiii…!!!” He ducked into his hoodie like a turtle.

“What the fuck do you mean by potluck.”

“Hiiiiiauhuaauaahaahgngnnn…” He started sputtering for breath. I turned back to Trey and Jamil, finding them pulling another table close to the first. Rollo tried to take their distraction to leave, only to find two Leeches right besides him with smiles, and Azul in the seat in front of him, eyes shut in mischievous mirth.

Those bastards were setting up an Unbirthday Party, and he was the poor fool wearing the Unbirthday crown.

“NO!!!” Just as I tried stopping them, I was cut off. AGAIN.

“Trey!” Riddle entered, looking cross. “Did I not say we were to arrive at Rollo’s potluck all at once?!”

“Haha, you got me, Riddle~” The NBC student sputtered.

“What do you mean-”

“Flamm.” Jade swiftly cut him off. “It is very kind of you to host this potluck for our students as a token of good faith. It seems Azul’s praise of you was well warranted!”

“Haha, yeah~” Though Floyd smiled wide, his eyes read ‘Fuck up and I’ll rip your throat out.’ “Bummer you didn’t bring any snacks from that place, though! I heard the cheese was REALLY something else!”

“Now, now you two!” Azul waved them off. “There’ll be plenty of time to talk leisure later! For now, business!” Annnnnd there came out the spreadsheets. “Now, I was thinking-”

“Cake first!” A perfectly cut slice was dropped in front of him, not a single flaw in the icing. “The first Unbirthday cake slice, just for you~” Riddle mumbled under his breath from his seat, but once the second slice of Unbirthday cake was in front of him, cheered up fast.

“No, I-” Rollo tried shoving it to Floyd, only to find another dish in front of him.

“Curry made with the finest ingredients from the Scalding Sands.” Despite the situation, I could feel my mouth water. “Please, enjoy it to your heart’s content.”

“No, no, I could not accept such a gift-” Again, once he pushed it away, two more plates were slammed before him.

“Mushroom risotto. They were all foraged right in this campus’ very woods!”

“And sour gummy worm and Moreo’s takoyaki~” He just tried leaving the table that time, but they both held him down.

“FLOYD! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE TAKOYAKI?!”

“YOU SAID JADE COULD HAVE HIS STUPID MUSHROOMS, SO I GET TO HAVE MY TAKOYAKI!!!” Once the door was locked, I snatched Jade and Floyd’s plates.

“HEY!!!”

“My risotto…!”

“NO.” Azul sighed in relief. “AND NO UNBIRTHDAY PARTY, EITHER-”

“Now now, don’t be like that, [Name]~” Trey shoved the cake back in front of Rollo. “At least one bite, yeah~?” The curry was shoved in front of him again.

“For Kalim’s sake.” A new plate of Takoyaki was slammed down.

“EAT THE DAMN TAKOYAKI, SMALL FRY.” And risotto right next to it.

“I insist! It’s quite delicious~” They blocked him in, trapping him, and I couldn’t reach.

“A-ah…! Riddle…!” He looked up like a deer in headlights from his cake. “HELP ME…!”

“... Ah…” He took another bite, looking to the side.

“COME ON!!! … Wait, IDIA-” I looked to his seat, finding it completely empty. “... DID HE LEAVE…?!”

Rollo, realizing there was no choice, picked up a fork.

“FINE.” He stabbed a piece of cake. “I shall indulge you idiots with ONE. BITE.”

“YAY~!!” Their cheers were perfectly in sync.

“Tch…!” He stabbed a piece of the cake. It already looked far too sweet for his tastes, but nonetheless, he brought it to his mouth. “... MMGH…!!!”

“Aw~ Is it too sweet for you? I hear sweets in the City aren’t as sweet as in the Queendom…” It was the exact opposite. The wretched thing tasted like rotten eggs, but when he looked at Rosehearts eating happily… It had to be him, right?! He witnessed Roseheart’s sweet tooth firsthand last Halloween, he would never eat something so vile…!

He quickly scooped some curry, hoping it’s replace the horrid taste.

“I can assure you, the food of the Sands is above anything the Queendom could produce. You are sure to enjoy it~” Trey laughed, but the challenge didn’t go unnoticed.

“I’d like to see you prove that, Viper-”

“You don’t get to talk. You people have beans and toast.”

“... Okay, fair.” The curry was rich and delightful… Even if it was outside his normal taste, Rollo couldn’t help but find himself delighted by it.

“The blend of spices within are a special selection, beloved by the Al-Asim family themselves. Few are allowed to know the recipe, and fewer are afforded the luxury to try it.” Jamil smirked. “Of course… Those few who do occasionally complain of its strength.”

... Fire…

Hellfire…!

“... Haaaaa…!!!” It felt like fire was in his skin, searing his flesh and bone.

“... Oh~?” It was like he tasted the fires of hell. “Are you alright, Flamm-”

“WATER…” His vision grew dark, and he felt himself falling from his seat. “WATER…!!!”

He collapsed onto the floor.

“ROLLO…!!!” [Name] ran to his side, placing a hand against his forehead. “What the- HE’S BURNING UP!!! QUICK, WE NEED BUCKETS!!!” They bolted out of the room, and Azul sighed, snapping his fingers.

“You heard them, you two.” Floyd grumbled as they left the room.

“He didn’t try my damn Takoyaki…” Jade leaned closer, quiet enough where no one else could hear.

“It saves us the trouble of hiding the body.” Trey and Riddle both snuck a glance at the curry.

“... Viper.” Riddle grabbed a clean spoon, as did Trey. It smelled delicious, and they couldn’t resist. “Is it REALLY that spicy…?”

“You are free to see for yourselves.” Both of them took a small bite.

“... Wow…!” Their eyes sparkled in delight.

“This is DELICIOUS, Viper-” Hellfire. Hellfire…!

‘A-ah…!!!” Their faces turned bright red. “AHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

“BY THE QUEEN…!!!” Just like Rollo, they collapsed to the floor. Jamil just rolled his eyes, and took a bite himself, completely unfazed as Azul watched him in terror.

“... Try a bite, Azul.” He gave a soft smile. “They’re just being dramatic. The Queendom is known for their dull taste buds.”

“... Well…” Azul grabbed a spoon. “I suppose you’re right. I’ve seen Riddle complain about even bland dishes at The Lounge being too spicy…” He took a bite, his eyes sparkling in childlike wonder at the delicate, yet strong blend of spices.

“Amazing…! Jamil, you MUST share your recipe-” He hacked his lungs. Suddenly, the heat hit all at once, and he found himself crumpling into a ball of the ground right next to Riddle.

“... Idiots.” Jamil just finished off the last of the curry himself.

-----------

“... I’m sorry.”

“... Ah?” He still couldn’t feel his tongue.

“This was supposed to be a fun trip for you and… It was basically hell the entire time, and it’s ONLY been a day.”

“You have no reason to apologize. It is not your fault for their behavior.”

“No, it is. I should’ve seen this coming.”

They sighed, rubbing their eyes. The ocean by Sage’s Island was his favorite thing about the place so far. It felt that here, even your greatest worries felt small, and the sound of the waves… Perhaps if he could listen to them back at Noble Bell, he would be willing to attempt a better sleep schedule. Even just sitting on the shore, he could feel himself grow drowsy.

“... Do they treat you like this?” For a brief moment, they hesitated.

“It’s… Complicated.”

“So they do.”

“... Some of them did, when I first met them.” They said it so casually, yet it just filled him with rage. “Most of them aren’t bad people, though. They’re just awful.”

“Those mean the exact same thing.”

“You know what I mean…!” Truly, he didn’t. “Anyway, if you wanna leave early, that’s fine. I’m sorry for making you waste the whole trip out here…”

“It will be a waste if I don’t buy some frivolous souvenir for my Council Members, and you still have not assisted me with such a task.” They looked up in surprise.

“... Oh, uh… What do you need for them?”

“Like I would know.” He hid behind his knees, feeling his face grow hot. “I’m ill-suited for matters such as these… I would prefer something practical, but I know others prefer knickknacks, or the like…”

“... Well, at least you don’t have a guy who like gargoyles~”

Before he could catch himself, he laughed.

“... No. I suppose I don’t have such worries!”

---

“... ACHOO!” The sneeze sent a chill through Malleus’ entire body, threatening to shake the foundation of Diasomnia itself.

“Are you alright, milord…?!” Silver was immediately at his side.

“Thank you, Silver… I am well.” He glanced out the window, feeling… Strange, though. “For some reason, I have the strangest feeling someone is talking about me…”

“Father did tell me once that one sneezes when someone is-”

“ACHOO…!!!” This sneeze was even harder than the last.

---

“Think about it. Between these fools, your Headmaster… Even Draconia himself! The stress you must carry is unimaginable… If you came to Noble Bell College, we would treat you with the respect you deserve…!”

“I know, it’s just…!” I looked out to the ocean, to the stars above. “... I’m not from here.”

“Sage’s Island?”

“No. This world.”

He went quiet.

“The Dark Mirror… It pulled me from my own world. Even if I wanted to leave Night Raven College, there’s nowhere else I could even go. Even if did leave, I would have to come back eventually, if I wanted to go home…”

“... Well…” I could feel his eyes on me, hesitant. “Do you want to go home…?”

“... That’s the scary part.” I couldn’t face the stars anymore. I simply looked to the sand at my feet. “I don’t know…”

“I see…” We sat in silence for a while. “... It may be a bit presumptuous of me to offer, but once your tenure at Night Raven is complete, if that idiotic Headmaster of yours does not make accommodations, then I should have a home by then. You are always more than willing to stay.”

He said it with such sincerity… It was odd, thinking about it. Rollo was actually one of the only people I’d met who was actually… Well, NICE, especially BECAUSE I didn’t have magic.

“... Hahahaha…!” I covered my mouth. “Shit! Sorry, I’m not making fun of you, it’s just… That’s really sweet. Honestly.” His face was red with regret. “I really appreciate it, but… It’s safe to assume I have at least three years. The fourth year’s an internship, so I don’t want to bank on that, but there’s still time. I wouldn’t want you to make a commitment like that…”

I smiled, looking back at the sea. It was perfectly crisp and cool… I wondered if the sea back home was just the same.

“Besides, I still have Malleus. He may be a handful sometimes, but I do love him… And also, I’m sure he’d be a little upset if I went to stay with you instead of him if that happened.”

“Ah.” His shoulders sulked. “I forgot about Draconia. Pardon my words, but… You two do not feel like a couple.”

“Feels like friends at best, huh?”

“... Yes.” I laughed at that.

“Well, that’s a good thing. Relationships are important, especially platonic ones. Honestly, if you can’t be genuine friends with somebody, you probably shouldn’t be dating them.”

“Hm. I always saw them as separate things…”

“A lot of people do. I’m just a bit different. He is too.” I was a magicless human who had no real drive for life, and he was a lonely prince who was forbidden from it. Really, by all means, it felt as if we shouldn’t get along, much less meet. “But… He understands me. I’ve never had someone I could feel like that with.”

“... I see…” Rollo was silent. “Well… If you are willing, I… Would like to be someone like that for you.” … No way.

“... Are you asking to be friends?” He hid his face.

“Is that wrong of me?”

“No! I would love to be! I wanted to ask, too, but I was worried of overstepping and making you avoid me…”

“Well, now you have no reason to worry.” His smile looked… Painful. Awkward. As if it took all his facial muscles to form it, but it felt more genuine than any of the soft ones he’d give to others. “So don’t give ME any reason to worry for you.”

“I won’t, I won’t…!” We both laughed, his almost more of a rough cackle.

“... You can start by breaking up with-”

“I’M NOT BREAKING UP WITH MALLEUS…!”

He dramatically scoffed, screaming as I threw a handful of sand at him.

---

“ACHOO…!” Countless used tissues lay in the trash can besides him. “ACHOO…!!!”

“Oh dear…” Malleus shivered, clutching the quilt around his shoulders close. “And you say he’s been like this for how long, Silver…?”

“For around 20 minutes now…” The prince huffed, a burst of flames with it.

“For some reason… I feel like Flamm’s involved in this…”

“Now, now.” Lilia patted his back. “Don’t be ridiculous, milord… It could be allergies!”

“I have none…!!!”

… Or did he…?

Chapter Text

The second my alarm went off, I immediately smacked it off.

“... Haaaah…” My eyes still felt heavy. I wanted to shut them, but I couldn’t. All I could do was pitifully sit up and grab the weighted blanket, knowing it was a race against time to stand before my body shut down and lost against its weight.

“... Mm…” A pair of arms took my waist, pulling me back to their owner.

“Morning, Malleus…” He smushed his face against my thigh, nuzzling into the skin with a soft purr.

“Good morning, beloved…” He sounded even more exhausted than me. I smiled, running my hand along his black tresses. He tilted his head up like a cat in bliss, and looked just as content.

“I have things to do, you know~?” From beneath the covers, I could see something move behind him. It must’ve been his tail… Cute…

“Stay here.” He nipped my skin, as is chastising me for even considering the thought of leaving.

“I already wasn’t planning to sleep over, you know…”

“Is it a ‘sleepover’ if it is your home?” He looked up at me, eyes betraying no emotion.

“You know that’s not how that works~”

“... Stay here.” This time, it was unmistakable as a command. He nipped my skin again, never enough to pierce the skin, but enough to wake me. “With me.”

“We’ll see each other later, you know?”

“I want to see you now.” I let my head fall back against the headboard. Really, I shouldn’t, but I DID want to sleep more…

“*... BZZT!*” He didn’t even acknowledge my phone. Well, I didn’t have that luxury.

“Sorry, just give me a second…” He huffed but gestured for me to continue. I did my best to scroll through all the messages, looking to see if there was anything important. “Meme, meme, threat, meme, cry for help, meme… WAIT.” He fell face-first into my thighs. “I should. Probably see if that one’s okay-”

His arms pulled tighter around me, tail flickering in irritation.

“... Malleus…” He didn’t respond, or even bother to look at me again. “Is there something else going on?” My phone went off again, but this time I ignored it, putting it to the side. He just laid there for a while, the only noticeable sign of life being his tail that occasionally swayed left and right, beginning to drag the comforter closer to the edge with each and every swing.

“... Mal Mal…” His ears fell flat. “You need to talk to me. If there’s something bothering you, I’d like to know. That being said, if you don’t want to share, it’s not fair to get upset at me for not knowing.” I took one of them in my hands gently rubbing the appendage. It raised further into my touch, and reluctantly, he rose with it, only his eyes visible. Even so, I could see a flush of lavender overcome him.

“... You okay, Mal Mal?” He mumbled under his breath. “Hm?”

“... I…” He rested his head on the side. Now I could see his frown. “I’ve felt neglected, as of late…”

“I see…” Really, I’d treated him just the same, I think the real problem was the trip to Noble Bell College last week. Even if others were around, it was still unmistakable how much we stuck together. Hell, we even snuck out of our rooms at night to walk around the city…

He’d gotten so used to my company, that I think he forgot it wasn’t the standard…

“... I’m sorry, Malleus…” I ran through his hair again, his purrs returning. “Hey.”

“Mm?”

“Let me lay down again.” Reluctantly, as if afraid I’d actually leave, he did. True to my word, I snuffled back next to him, and swiftly found him latched onto me, head resting comfortably atop my head.

“... Stay here, please?” I placed a light kiss onto his chest, the only place I could reach. He gasped, pulling me closer.

“Yeah, I’ll stay with you. In return, help me with my chores later.”

I don’t even think he heard the last part, but I didn't mind. Seeing him all snuggly like this was always a welcome sight.

Chapter Text

God, it was cold…

“... [Naaaaame]~” I peeked out of the cocoon of safety I’d crafted from Ramshackle’s finest blankets, and soon Grim did too, shooting a scowl at the intruder who’d suddenly manifested in our home.

“GO AWAY! WE’RE BUSY BEING MISERABLE.”

“Ignore him, anyway, did you need something, Malleus?” From his grin, I could tell it was nothing good.

“No, I was simply feeling bored and decided to stop by.”

“GO BE BORED SOMEWHERE ELSE, THEN!!!” I just rolled my eyes. “WE’RE STAYING RIGHT. HERE.”

“I see…” He approached our bed, lips quirking even higher. I felt a shudder run through my spine, yet couldn’t place why… I mean, I knew he’d never hurt me but… Suddenly, I was beginning to second-guess that. “You two look QUITE comfortable… Surely you have room for one more-

“NO!!!” Both Grim and I spoke at the exact same time.

“... Oh?”

“YOU GOT YOUR OWN BED IN DIASONIA, JERK…!”

“B-besides…! This one’s so SMALL… It’s already a bit much for Grim and I to fit into…~” Malleus just laughed, grabbing the corner of the sheets.

“Oh, I’m sure it will be fine! In fact, I guarantee you won’t even know I’m there~”

“Eeeie…!” Already, the draft already began kicking in. Grim latched onto me for extra warmth, and hissed.

“WE SAID BACK OFF!!!”

“It’ll be just a moment~” My teeth began to chatter as the wind bit my skin.

“Malleus…!!!” We were both forced close to the other edge as he slipped in, and finally, we found relief again as he pulled the blankets over himself.

“... See?” He smirked as Grim and I clutched each other, shivering for warmth again. “No harm done. I guarantee you shall return to your former comfort in no time.”

“YEAH, YEAH… Idiot…” Grim smushed himself against me, and I relaxed, his flames and body practically a space heater on their own…

“... Hmm…” I didn’t turn to face him. Too much effort. “I must say… I’m feeling rather neglected, as of late…”

“Tragic.” Grim was purring a storm, nuzzling whatever part of me he could reach.

“Is it not your job to amend that~?”

“I’m too cold to, Malleus…”

“I see…” I felt my eyes grow heavy… The blankets kept the heat in so perfectly, and even though I shouldn’t… Hell, a nap sounded lovely, right now. “In that case, I shall be the one to take initiative…~”

Suddenly, arms as chilled as ice wrapped around me, and pulled me to an equally cold chest.

“A-ah…!” Grim’s eyes snapped open, yet he wasn’t touching any part of Malleus… No… Only I was being given this cruel fate… “AAAAAAAH…!!!”

“What is it, dearest~?” He held me taut, leaving no room for escape. With a cruel smirk, his tail even unfurled, wrapping snug to my leg, even colder than the rest of him. “I am simply sharing my body heat with you~”

“WHAT BODY HEAT, YOU FUCKING POPSICLE?!?!” Unable to resist his curiosity, Grim reached out to touch Malleus.

“RWAR…!!!” He immediately snatched his paw back, caressing it as if it’d been burned. “HOW THE HECK ARE YOU SO COLD…?!”

“Mm~?” I shivered violently in his grasp, my only relief the surprisingly warm spot, right where his heart lay. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, [Name].”

“QUIT BEING SUCH A JERK, HORNTON…!!!” He just cackled, and kissed whatever skin he could reach…

(... He did eventually warm up, at least…)

Chapter Text

They were supposed to leave Ramshackle twenty minutes ago. They always left around this time every Sunday to leave for the market, and like clockwork, he would ‘conveniently’ be outside to join them… And yet here he was, knocking on the front door.

“Are you there, Prefect?” Making sure no other was around, he pressed his ear to the door. All he could hear were the loud, obnoxious snores of a certain familiar, and frowned. It was quite late in the noon… Could they truly have been so busy today that a nap was warranted?

... An investigation was in order.

The key he’d been bestowed weeks ago was taken out and used to quietly open the door. Time and time again, they had reassured him his presence was always welcome, but without their consent… Well, it felt wrong, intruding on their home uninvited. Alas, when they had placed it into his hand, their own so small within, they wore a bashful smile… Oh, even now, he could remember it so well, and felt his heart swell with adoration all over again…

‘I, uh… I got a few spare keys, last time I was in town… I want you to have one, but if you don’t want it, that’s fine uh, just pretend this never happened-” Before they could cower away, he clasped their hand within his own. It was so delicate, yet rough. Warm and welcoming, yet cold and distant to others but him… He never wanted to let go. He wanted to hold them forever, to press them upon his face, to feel them along his scales, and more, and caress him softly, as none other could…

Yet he simply smiled.

“Should I take this as an invitation?” Their face was flushed, and they could hardly face his eyes.

“Yeah… A permanent one…”

It took all his might to not lift them high, to spin them with a childish grin, and hold them close. Each and every invitation of theirs always made his heart sore, yet something so valuable, something so… Final…

Why, there was nothing in the world that could compare to such happiness an offer held.

So now, there was no hesitation with such an act. The door quietly opened, and he stepped within the bright halls. The floorboards tragically refused to creak since the renovations, and the halls gleamed a dazzling hue that made him mourn their former gloom, yet he still found himself relaxed within them.

“... Ughn…” It was their voice. He found himself following it. “Grim… We REALLY have to get up now…!”

“N… Nyeh…” He had entered the lounge, and it didn’t take long to find them. Right on the couch, they were curled up next to their familiar, a dreamy, far-off gaze in their eyes that made his sparkle in interest. “I… I can’t…” Neither of them had even noticed, and he deigned to keep it so, just for a while longer, leaning against the doorframe with a soft smile.

“... Alright.” They forced themself up, their face no longer smushed against the strange cushion it once rested upon. “Up.”

“Noooo…” They tossed the blanket upon them off and plucked the familiar by the scruff of his neck. “NOOO…”

“It’s either this, or we gotta cram grocery shopping after classes tomorrow…!” They held him close to their chest, nuzzling the little menace. A flicker of envy passed through his spirit, but Malleus supposed that if he were to share, Grim would be the only tolerable one.

“Then let’s do it tomorrow-”

“Nope. Now.”

“Aw man…!” Grim huffed and fell slack against them. “Why don’t you get that Hornton freak to go with you?!” Right as they were about to chastise him, Malleus chuckled.

“I would be more than willing to.” Their eyes snapped open, and he couldn’t resist his grin.

“MALLEUS…!” On sheer instinct, they chucked Grim to the side, as if he were contraband at lunch time.

“NYA…!!!” Luckily, he landed on a convenient pile of cushions. “HEY!!!”

“SHOOT! SORRY…!” Malleus just laughed even harder as the cat scrambled to the top of the pile.

“Pardon my intrusion, is it a bad time~?”

“YEAH.” He found a cushion tossed at his feet. “SCRAM, HORNTON!!!”

“Don’t be RUDE, Grim…!”

“WHO’RE YOU TO TALK ABOUT BEING RUDE?! YOU JUST CHUCKED ME!!!”

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT…!” As the two fussed upon each other, he made his way to the couch, picking up the cushion they’d rested upon. It wore a delicate, almost calm smile, and was wonderfully satisfying to squeeze-

“Oh no you DON’T!!!” Suddenly, it was snatched from his hands.

“Oh?” Grim latched onto the cushion tight, rubbing his face all against it. “Am I not allowed to be curious?”

“NO, because you always make fun of our pillows, then next thing WE know, half our them're at DIASOMNIA.”

“Surely you exaggerate, Grim.”

“[NAME]...!” The childish familiar jabbed an accusatory paw at him. “HE AIN’T EVEN DENYING IT ANYMORE!!! I TOLD YOU HE WAS THE ONE STEALING ALL THE PILLOWS…!” They forced a smile, and shot a glare at Malleus, yet he smirked, saying nothing.

“Grim, don’t worry, he always asks me-”

“THEN WHY THE HECK DO YOU KEEP SAYING YES?!” Their smile strained even harder.

“Uh…” They looked at him again for assistance, sweating as he just nodded towards Grim. “Pillow shortages.”

“... What.” In Grim's stupor, Malleus grabbed the plush again, giving it another squish.

“Pillow shortages…!” Suddenly, it was cruelly taken from him again, the little beast cradled harsh onto [Name]’s side. “I hear there’s a weird, uh… Pillow-stealing ghost! Yeah! So sometimes Malleus borrows our own!!!”

Grim just stared.

“... It’s a VERY serious problem.”

“... Y’know, if you just don't wanna say, then just SAY that! Do you really think I’m such an idiot that I’d believe THAT?!” And thus, their pride was crushed. “Whatever… I’M gonna go back upstairs…!” He snatched the blanket off the couch, a new one he’d yet to see, and like a majestic cloak, Grim ascended the stairs, struggling to not trip from the additional weight. It wasn’t until his footsteps, the softest ‘pitter-patter’ could no longer be heard, that Malleus leaned close to [Name].

“... Truly, you must tell me more about this ghost-”

‘SHUT THE HELL UP, MALLEUS.”

“AHAHAHAHA~!” Their face flushed with color, and he found himself grabbed, almost manhandled by the little human, the plush fallen to the ground.

“SERIOUSLY!?”

“Mm? What is it, dear~?”

“YOU LEFT ME TO FEND FOR MYSELF, JERK!”

“You had the situation in control, did you not?”

“HELL NO!!! The only reason it ended well was because GRIM let it go…!” He just found himself laughing again. “You know what?! FINE. Next time you ask for my pillows when your heat hits, GOOD LUCK.” Suddenly, the situation was no longer funny.

“[Name]... You wouldn’t.” Now they smirked, and he found his heart faltering.

“Do you really want to test me?” Quickly, the plush was snatched up again, and he held it close.

“In that case, I’m abducting this one in advance…!”

“NOPE.” They grabbed it and yanked. “GIVE HIM BACK.”

“NO.” They pulled harder, but he refused to budge. “... Actually, what’s this one’s name?”

“Oh!” They paused. “This is Sulfur Sprig! They had a Crayolo collab at Cohl’s, and I am a weak person who is not immune to capitalism, so I ended up buying one!” He examined it again, giving the little crayon another squish. “Isn’t he SOOOO soft. Oh my god, the blanket too-Grim took it but later you should feel it, it is SOOOO dangerously cozy-anyway do you agree with me?” That last statement was more of a thinly veiled threat rather than a genuine question, but luckily, the fae had nothing to fear.

“It is quite soft…” He smushed his own face against it, on the very spot Grim had, quickly overwriting the familiar’s scent with his own. “Perhaps I should get one of these ‘Crayolos’ for myself…”

“Oh my god, you SHOULD!!! We could match!!!” They reached for it, but he held it out of reach. “... Malleus.”

“[Name].” He smiled. “Considering Diasomnia’s affiliation with the color green, would it not make sense for me to choose this one~?”

“SPRIG IS MINE. GET PERIWINKLE MARY INSTEAD.”

“Lilia may try to steal that one.”

“You are LITERALLY trying to steal mine.”

“I am ABDUCTING, not stealing.”

“AND THE DIFFERENCE IS???”

“Change of legal ownership.”

“THAT'S NOT HOW THAT-UGH, JUST GET LILIA THE PINK ONE!!!”

“And not get Silver or Sebek anything?!”

“Oh my god Malleus I will LITERALLY take you to Cohl’s so you can get some for all of them, just don’t take MY OWN.”

“... Agreeable.”

That’s what he said, but he didn’t put down the plush until we left.

---

“Here we are~!” It was colors as far as the eye could see, yet he immediately made a break for the tallest shelf, where the Crayolo plushes awaited rescue. Only a sparse few remained, so with no hesitation, he snatched all of them off the shelf.

“These.”

“Oh! Let’s see…” They checked the tags before placing them in the cart. “Lily Lavender, Shocking Amarillo, and Royal Blue!” They were dropped into the cart. “Okay, let’s look around and see if anyone hid another Sprig somewhere!”

They quickly rushed off, and soon after was distracted by other Crayolo knickknacks. Malleus himself took a deep breath and re-examined the shelves. Many of the actual crayon cushions themselves were long since ravaged, and most of what remained were traditional cushions… He sifted through each and every one with a frown, hoping to see even one childishly happy face, yet none seemed to arrive…

“MALLEUS…!” His head whipped towards the shout. “I FOUND HER… PERIWINKLE…!”

His eyes widened, finding a Crayolo, three times the size of the others crushed within [Name]’s arms. They rushed over to him, quickly passing it over to him.

“... Wait.” He took it, examining it with a frown. “How could we POSSIBLY have missed this one???”

“Oh, it’s because it was in the back!!!” He placed it into the cart, completely drowning the other Crayolo’s beneath it. “I can’t believe there actually WAS something in the back for once. There never is!!!” Before he could take it, they grabbed the cart, and started pushing it towards the register. “I wasn’t even gonna ask, actually… I just happened to catch a glimpse of it inside the back area, and they said we could get it!”

“A miracle, then.”

“Yeah~!!”

Well, in such a case, all’s well that ended well!

---

“IT’S MINE!!!” The second Grim caught sight of the giant Periwinkle Mary, he latched on, and refused to let go.

“GRIM…!” Luckily, we had encountered the other members of Diasomnia while returning to Ramshackle and had bestowed their gifts upon them. Lilia cooed at the little pink colored pencil, excitedly gushing about how it’d look on his bed, while Sebek nearly gave himself a concussion from how low he (and the yellow color pencil) bowed.

Silver just… Kinda stared at his crayon for a concerningly long time, before thanking us. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. Either way, it was good we met them first, because now I was worried Grim would’ve tried stealing their Crayolo’s too…

Oh yeah. Grim.

“LET GO.” I grabbed it, but he refused to budge.

“NO!!!” He sobbed, smushing his face all across it. “THIS ONE’S GIANT!!! I WANT IT!!!”

“IT’S NOT YOURS…!”

“IT IS NOW!”

“IS NOT!”

“IS TOO!”

“IS NOT!!!”

“IS TOO!!!”

“Ugh, MALLEUS…!” I whipped my head over, wondering just what was SO important, that I wasn’t getting ANY back-up here!

“... Mm?” His eyes widened like a deer in headlights, face smushed right against the Sulfur Sprig Crayolo again.

“... ARE YOU SERIOUS???” I finally released Grim.

“NYA~HA~!!” He purred like a freight train, snuggling as much as possible against the cushion, while Malleus avoided eye contact.

… I was the one who even WANTED a plush from this damn collab, and now everyone but ME had one…

“... THAT’S IT.” I grabbed my phone, checking the time. There were still a few hours until close… “I’M GOING TO COHL’S AGAIN.”

“I shall accompany-”

“LIKE HELL YOU ARE…!”

… Is what I said, but I found a certain fae and familiar trailing after me anyways… (I was gonna make him pay for my Crayolo this time.)

Chapter Text

For once, it was left abandoned, the screen open. They must have either left in a hurry, or carelessly forgot to turn it off.

…Logically, he knew he should leave it alone. Snooping in the affairs of others only led to trouble…  

That being said, he found himself picking up the strange tablet. It was so small in his own hands, the screen bright, and once taking care to ensure that [Name] was not down the hall, he tapped a random app on the screen.

“... Interesting…” It seemed to be a collection of books. Well, he supposed it made sense. Technology had advanced so far, entire novels being contained within a tablet was inevitable, if it hadn’t been already possible. Really, what interested him more was that he’d never HEARD of these stories before…

That was an impressive feat. He’s lived quite a long time, after all. It either meant these were recent texts, or he’d somehow overlooked them…

... Well. If these were like the normal stories they shared with him, there was no harm reading. They always shared their books with him anyway. It was only others who they grew distraught with, when they opened the pages…

“... One shouldn’t hurt.” He tapped a random story, and got cozy in the guest room, on his favorite chair. Much to his surprise, rather than open at the start, it was in the middle of the story. It must have kept track of where [Name] had left off. He made a mental note of the page number, and decided it was best to simply read off from there.

He smiled, recalling all the prior, sweet stories [Name] would excitedly share with him, and wondered just how charming this one would be as well…

---

‘“Tell me.” He grabbed my chin, forcing me to face him. “Who is it that makes you feel like this?”

“You…” He smirked, fangs glistening bright in the moonlight.

“I’m sorry, what was that~? I didn’t hear you…” His fingers curled deep within me, and I did my best to stay quiet. Even if we were alone in these woods, that fear of being caught still remained.

“Please…” Gentle kisses, trailing along my skin like moonlight, so lovely, yet so tempting… Making me want to fall further and further into his embrace. 

“Please what, little lamb~?” His fangs nipped at my ears, so soft, delicate and fluffy compared to his own… If my family knew I was here, having midnight rendezvous with the bad boy next door… Oh, how they’d NEVER forgive me…!

“Please…” My breath was quiet, hoarse… And thick with desire. “Love me until I forget everything-”’

---

He slammed the Gindle down.

“... There must be some sort of mistake.” This couldn’t be [Name]’s, his sweet, innocent [Na]-... Well, they weren’t THAT innocent, he supposed… (Not after the many things he’s learned from them,) and well… Sometimes their eyes did conceal secrets even he could not decipher…

“... No…” He closed the book, and tapped a different one. “It must have been a fluke. Even they are not so shameless…”

He tapped a different book, smiling at its sweet, fluffy title, and yet again, found it open further within the story.

---

‘His cock, hot and thick, was so rough, so punishing, and yet despite that, it was dangerously addicting… All I could was grip the rough sheets within my hands and cry out.

“What a pathetic slut… You LOVE being used like this, don’t you~?” My face burned hotter, and I buried it within the pillow, but I could never bring myself to disagree… “And only by me… Heh, even IF anyone else had the opportunity, I would just have to remind you who you belong to…” 

He tugged hard on my leash, forcing my head back up, and I met my gaze in the mirror again. He stood tall, almost kingly behind me, yet I saw no king, but a devil in disguise-’

---

The Gindle was slammed down again, and the fierce flush on his face was even darker.

He couldn’t really justify this as another fluke, could he.

“... I shouldn’t be reading this.” Seven knew if Lilia had ever found those wretched novels he’d read in adolescent curiosity, he would have tossed himself to the briars of The Valley an eternity ago... He could only dread how [Name] would react, learning he’d done the exact fate to them…

Even so, his eyes glanced at the screen once again, and despite every sensible bone in his body telling him not to, he tapped one last story, a star next to it, swallowing hard in a strange mix of anticipation and dread.

---

“My lord…!” He growled deep, claws digging deep into my skin. 

It was wrong… Why, he was the dreaded Demon King! Countless threw themselves upon his feet, pleading, BEGGING for his hand, to be the one who bore his heir, knowing such an honor would bestow luxury and status like none other… And yet here I was, a lowly servant, one brought in by mere pity alone, reduced down to mere shambles as his ovipositor rutted against my lower lips… 

“Only you, my love…” Fangs, sharper than even the finest obsidian blade, yet they did not deign to pierce through me. Instead, soft kisses, akin to clouds wherever he could reach. “Take my child, won’t you? Give me the luxury, the privilege of being the only man to make you wont with child…”

He spoke so kindly… So sweetly… Nothing like the cruel king I’d seen countless times in the past, and I felt tears sting. Why me? The pitiful, lackluster servant? Who even now, still burned his Sunday dinners? Who could hardly even bear the sight of blood without turning faint?

“Once, long ago…” His hand took mine, kissing along it. “During my youth, a strange, little human showed me such kindness…”

Suddenly, I remembered.

It was my 18th year, and another like me, a few years’ older, from judge of his human features had been beaten, almost killed…  I had no idea what came over me, but I saved him. 

“Give me the honor of being mine-”

---

“WHERE THE FUCK DID I-” The door slammed open, and yet Malleus didn’t notice the company, too engrossed in the story. “... Ohhhhh fuck me.” In a trance, he swiped, turning the page. “Ohhhh fuck me fuck me FUCK ME…!”

He found my fucking GINDLE…!

“NOPE!!!” I snatched it from his hands, and finally, he snapped out of it. “NO NO NOPE!!!”

“Ah, [Name]-!”

“No please don’t say anything just-” I looked at the pages, feeling my heart drop. Of COURSE it had to be one of my favorites…! “Please just-YOU SAW NOTHING, OKAY…?!”

“But I need to know how it ends…!”

“NO. YOU DON’T.” I quickly shut it off, and clutched it tight to my chest. “PLEASE. IF YOU LOVE ME, JUST LET THIS GO.”

“I…” He sighed. “Very well…”

“Thank you…!” I rushed out of the room, and quickly unlocked the screen.

Everything had to go.

I had to make some convoluted system to keep track of my reading material so this never happened again.

THIS COULD NEVER. HAPPEN. AGAIN.

---

Now alone, he sighed. He WAS in the wrong, and if nothing else, he supposed he should just be relieved that they were not furious with him… But now he was left wanting.

“... Perhaps…” He hummed, thinking deeply. “I should get one of these ‘Gindles’ for my own personal use…”

(… He would just have to ensure Lilia learned of no such thing, or he truly WOULD become food for the briars…)

Chapter Text

“Good evening, [Name]-” The second they spotted him approaching, they RAN. “... Strange… Did I do something wrong…?”

Perhaps he came on too strong. First names were so personal, after all… Ah, but they’ve never had a problem with that before… Perhaps it was his tone?

Well, either way, apologies were in order. It’d do no good to leave the poor thing frazzled.

“[Name]! Hold a moment, won’t you?!” They slammed shut the doors out of the campus behind them, hands trembling as he approached. A part of him felt almost offended… They’ve known each other for quite some time now, and have been so fearless… And yet NOW they had the audacity to cower before him?! “Why are you running?!”

They screamed in pure silence as they finally managed to pry it open, disappearing from sight again around a sharp corner. His irises sharpened, and he could hardly tell if what he was feeling was fury, or excitement.

WHY ARE YOU RUNNING…?!” Even if he simply could’ve teleported, he found himself chasing after them instead… Of course, at a brisk pace.

He wasn’t so cruel as to give them no illusion of chance.

“MMMGMH…!!!” They looked back, almost tripping over their feet once they realized he was right on their tail. Strangely enough, they clamped a hand over their mouth as they rushed through the back gate.

They planned to lose him in the woods behind campus. A foolish idea, really.

“[Name]...~” He reached for them, missing on purpose. “I simply wish to greet you~”

“MMMMMM-” They smacked right into a tree.

“Ah…!” And so did he. He was so focused on the hunt, he missed something incredibly obvious. (Thank goodness Lilia wasn’t here…)

“...O… Oooooow…~” The cry beneath him was sweeter than honey, a voice that even the most delicate off songbirds would envy… “My spine~ … I think… You have crushed my spiiiiine~”

They both crashed to the ground. Unmoving.

---

“... So you’ve been cursed.”

“It was an acc~ident.”

“And now you are only able to sing?”

“It is VE~RY ANNOYING~.”

“Was this during Alchemy classes?”

“Non non non~! It was…” With a sigh, their voice took on a lower vibrato. “During homework…~”

“I see…” That explains why such a minor problem hadn’t been fixed yet. It was late enough that the Professors returned home, and the Science Club would hold domain over the laboratory, and… Well, even he would rather not approach Hunt for assistance… “Ah! Perhaps Clover-”

“I tried~! He just laughed at me…~”

“Would you like me to kill him-”

“NO~!!!” Pity. He had been rather bored as of late. “So any~ways… I was trying to a~void talking to any~one… And then YOU decided to play JURASSIC PA~RK…!”

“Mm? Is that one of those stories you enjoy?”

“... Don’t wo~rry about it…” Though unintentional, he must’ve hit a core. A deep longing and regret resounded in each and every note, one that made his own, cold heart ache in wretched agony. “... Look at me, a ridiculous thing… I should take my leave~”

“Without me~?” At his own voice, deep, and rich velvet, singing a perfect match to their own, thei eyes widened.

“Ma~lleus, you’ve got to be kidding me…~???” He just smiled, the fae taking a deep breath, eyes full of mischeif. .

“If you are cursed to sing, then I shall be your harmony~”

“YOU REALLY DON’T HAVE TOO…~!”

“But it is my wish, my sweet~”

“EVERYONE’S GOING TO LOOK AT US…~!”

“Then let them gaze upon, and drown in envy…~!”

“I DON’T THINK IT’LL BE ENVY THEY’RE FEELING…~!”

“Jealousy, then~?”

“WE’RE NOT EVEN RHYMING~!!!” … Something told the human this was going to be a long day… “... Wait, why don’t YOU just fix it…~?!”

“Mm?” He smirked. “It’s QUITE adorable, so I think you’ll be fine~”

… Yeah, it would be a long day.

---

“Yo, [Name]...” They shot a tired glare at Ace. “Did the singing wear off yet…?” They stared even harder, before speaking.

“What do YOU think~?!”

“... Nope.” The two First Years from Heartslabyul took a seat next to them, with their own snacks. They had all planned to meet up for ½ Priced Lattes and Violence, but then this happened… “MAN…! I was hoping it would! If it doesn’t wear off by morning, then we’ll HAVE to tell Prof. Crewel…!” Deuce held a latte out to [Name].

“Here. It’s your favorite.” They smiled wide, taking a light sip.

“Thaaaaaa~nk yoooooo~u!” Even though they were alone on the front stairs to Ramshackle, he still found himself looking away. “... Yeah, I know… It’s SO cringe, bro…~”

“Sorry again…”

“It wasn’t your fault, it was ACE’S, y’know~”

“LIKE HELL IT WAS!!!” They snickered, and suddenly, Ace was beginning to think it was time to bring back the Violence. “Look, why don’t we agree to disagree and say it’s-actually…” He looked around. “Where IS Grim…?”

[Name] just smacked their face, remembering what had happened earlier in the day.

---

“GRI-IM~! GET DOWN FROM THERE…~!!”

“Just ONE bite…!” That little bastard grabbed a broom and was trying get on top of the fridge…!

‘NO~! THAT’S FOR DINNER-” He lost balance.

“NYAH…!” He scrambled to snatch the stick, smacking into the fridge. “OW…!”

“NO NO NO…~!” Just like that, I watched the pan crash to the ground, fragments and food shattering everywhere. “THE CASSEROLEEEEEEEE-”

“NYAAAAAAAAAA-” He covered his ears from my scream, but oddly enough, I… Couldn’t actually hear anything. It was just a quiet shout. “QUIT IT, QUIT IT…!”

---

“... Wait, maybe it’s like one of those mosquito ringtones old people can’t hear!”

“Do those actually work?”

“YEAH I TOTES tested it on Professor Trien. NOTHING.”

“What were you gonna do if he DID hear it?”

“Say it was a MOSQUITO, DUH.”

“Gu~ys…”

“Shoot…!”

‘Sorry, anyway, Grim!” They took another sip of their drink.

“He ran off after tha~t… To where, I’ve no clue…~”

“Damn…”

“Nobody’s loyal nowadays…”

“Uh~huh~...” Someone laughed behind them. Ace and Deuce whipped back in fear, but [Name] was completely unphased, used to the antics.

“What about me, my sweet~?”

“”... HUH?!?!” [Name] smacked their face again.

“THE HELL IS HE SINGING FOR?!”

Wait, did someone else mess up too?! YES!!!”

For everyone’s sake, [Name] decided not to correct them.

---

“One lump or two~?”

“Just one, thank you~”

“No need to be shy~”

“I’m perfectly fine~”

Sebek looked between the two. He had no idea what was going on, but he wasn’t involved, and HE didn’t like it.

“Anything new~?”

“Nothing cool~”

“Surely not you~!”

“Indeed… Ah, well, you see-”

“WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!” [Name]’s face burst into color, while Malleus was completely unphased, dropping two sugar cubes into his tea.

“We are having a conversation, Sebek.” With that, he turned back to [Name].

“As you were saying~?”

“PLEASE PARDON MY INTERRUPTION, MILORD…!!!”

“You are pardoned.”

“THANK YOU LORD DRACONIA!” He bowed low before continuing. “WHY ARE YOU SINGING, SPECIFICALLY…?!?!”

“Because [Name] has been cursed to do so.” They hid their face in their hands. “I am simply doing the same in a show of respect.”

“I see…!” Truly… For Malleus to go out of his way for such an undeserving peon…! “YOU TRULY ARE THE GREATEST, LORD MALLEUS…!” Suddenly, his eyes widened. “AH…! As your retainer, I should be doing the same…!!!”

“NO…~!!!”

“SILENCE, HUMAN!!! Er, SILENCE, HUMAN…~!!!”

“Oh?” Malleus smiled. “It seems we have a trio now!”

[Name] just wished for death to claim them already.

---

“VI~IL…!!!”

“Huh…?!” [Name] grabbed his shoulders.

“PLEASE HIDE ME IN POME~FIORE…!”

“What?! Also why are you singing-” Footsteps approached. Their face contorted in fear, their grip tighter on him.

“QUICK DO YOU HAVE COLOGNE OR SOMETHING~?!”

“I-of course I do, why-”

“GIVE IT HERE…~!!!” The second it was in their hands, they sprayed it in a frenzy all over, before tossing themself into the closest storage closet. With timing so perfect, it was comical, the entirety of Diasomnia rounded the corner.

“Oh, if it isn’t Vil~!” He raised a brow at Lilia. Normally, the man always spoke with a cheery voice, but this was also too… Musical. “Have you seen [Name]~? We’re worried about them~!”

“THEY RAN OFF FROM OUR QUINTET~!!!”

“They seemed rather afraid, as well~” Malleus was silent, staring deep into Vil’s soul.

“Well… Um…” Normally, he would never be intimidated by the giant man-child, but… Well, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a LITTLE terrified, right now… “... You will find them in the closet-”

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER…~!!!” Sebek and Silver easily pried the door open, and soon enough, they were dragged out by an overly pleased prince, and his lackeys. “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, VIL…~!!!”

… Maybe should put Rook on bodyguard duty for a while…

“VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL…~!!!”

… Yes, he absolutely should.

Chapter Text

“I got you something.”

He just hummed in affirmation, too content with resting his head on my lap. Ever since I’d begun running my hands through his inky tresses, he’d been in complete peace…

“Hey~ Did you hear me, Hornton~?”

“Of course.”

“Then what did I say?” A few moments of silence lingered, before he rolled onto his back, staring into me with a passive gaze.

“You brought a gift, yes?” I brushed his bangs back, his eyes fluttering closed as a pleased gasp escaped him.

“Aren’t you curious about it?”

“Not at the moment…” That was a first.

“Well, the sooner I can show you, the better.”

“... Is that so…” I tried pulling my hand away, but he quickly caught it, pressing it firm to his cheek. “In that case, if you are able to show me with one hand, then I shall indulge you.”

“Lucky…” I reached into my pocket with my free hand, pulling out a tiny bottle. I held it right above his head, giving the pink pollen within a little swirl.

“... Ah…!” Immediately, his eyes sharpened in danger. “That’s-”

“It’s sealed shut, I even made sure to sterilize the bottle, and scrub every last bit off me.” Cautious as ever, he still flicked his tongue out, relaxing when he indeed confirmed he couldn’t taste a trace of it in the air. “You seem to recognize it though~”

“How could I not…?!” He grew stiff from exhaustion, so as apology, I placed the bottle aside, taking his free hand to give a light smooch. “I made such an utter fool of myself that day…!”

“It was cute.”

“For you, perhaps…!”

“No one found out, at least.”

“Oh please, YOU of all people can’t console me on this matter! If it wasn’t for your quick thinking-”

“You’ve been tired lately, haven’t you?” He bit his tongue, unable to face me. “You’ve been abducting me a lot more lately.”

“... Matters from home… Do not fret yourself over them.”

“I’m not. I’m fretting over you.” The hand over mine held tighter. “I did some research after that night… Well, when I could walk again.” Just the slightest, his lip curled into a smile, quickly forced away. “Large quantities on your kind of fae can serve as an aphrodisiac, but smaller doses have medicinal purposes.”

“... That is correct.” He rolled back to his side, smushing his cheek against my thigh. “It is brewed as a tea, though I hear in some cases, it can be prepared alongside cuisine.”

“That’s what I read too.”

“... So?” He huffed. “Is it right to assume you have brought me some to brew?”

“Not quite…” His ears perked up. “I want to make you something. Is it alright if I make you something with this?”

“... Mm…” He nuzzled into my skin.

“You are absolutely allowed to say no, Malleus.”

“I am aware.” Suddenly, my hand was freed, and instead, I found him reaching for the bottle, examining the fine powder within.

“... Where did you manage to procure it?”

“Same place as last time. A patch off-campus.”

“Really? Strange… I should have taken notice of such a thing…”

“If it wasn’t a bad idea waiting to happen, I’d offer to show you.” Gently, the bottle was placed aside, and once more, his eyes closed.

“... I give my consent, to you, and you alone.”

“... Is that what YOU want? Because I won’t forgive you if you’re saying it for me…” He waved away my concern, purring in content as he got comfortable again.

“I am aware, so you have naught to worry, [Name].”

“Okay then. I’ll make you something tomorrow, if that's alright.”

The tips of his ears grew a light flush, but he gave no other acknowledgement.

---

A large thermos of tea, and a bag of quaint shortbread cookies, tied with a lovely emerald ribbon and cellophane.

‘Remember, Malleus…’ They had passed both items to him, an uncharacteristically serious expression on their face. ‘Slowly.’

‘Of course. Thank you, dear.’ It was only then they allowed themselves to smile, giving them a chaste kiss before rushing off for their own classes.

Since then, he stuck true to his word. Over the course of the day, he nursed tiny sips between classes, the drink still pleasantly warm. The tea itself wasn’t anything unique. Simply black tea one would find at a commoner’s market, yet knowing the love and care that went into choosing just the right amount of milk and honey, and using the rough, beaten thermos with his initials elegantly lay beneath, worn from countless flights…

He felt his heart swell with each tiny sip, unable to resist a bashful smile.

The cookies, on the other hand? He showed no restraint.

They were perfectly buttery, with just enough sweetness that only left him wanting more… Really, it was tragic. Once he’d reached into the bag, feeling around, only to find nary a crumb, he wanted to weep… At the very least, they should have more. They of all people tended to bake large batches, due to Grim’s insatiable appetite… Ah, as per their friends. Really, the only reason he hadn’t asked already was simply because he hadn’t even a chance today to approach them, again…

“... Mmgm…” Really, he didn’t mind them having friends. Did it fill him with the dreaded fear of abandonment and occasionally raw fury? Yes, but that was just his own selfishness. Quite frankly, it was MORE important to him that [Name] have others to call friends. He didn’t wish his loneliness upon another… That being said… He couldn’t help but remember how brightly they’d laughed at whatever idiotic joke that one Third Year made during lunch. He found a growl, (a GROWL, of all things,) threatening to tear itself from his throat, so he took a deep breath.

He was being ridiculous. No one had done anything to wrong him. Throwing a childish tantrum would do nothing.

“... Haaaaah…” Instead of a bark, a cloud of smoke poured from his maw. “... It’s been long enough… Perhaps I should have some tea…” He cracked open the thermos, relaxing at the sweet scent of honey within, and tilted the bottle to his lips.

---

‘... Ugh. Hold still…!’ Vil had leaned over that same hour and wiped a few stray droplets away from their lip.

‘A-ah…! Sorry, sorry! I misaimed!’

‘How do you miss your LIPS???’

‘You look me in the eyes and say you’ve never tried drinking anything while distracted.’

‘I…’ It was only moments before the other House Leader huffed, a faint blush on his face. ‘W-well…!’

---

… Suddenly, he found flames flickering at his throat again.

“Tch…! This is absurd…!” He cut himself off, closing the bottle again. “I must not have paced myself adequately… There’s no other reason for me to get so caught up in harmless affairs-”

“Malleus~!” He swore he heard a ‘snap’ from how fast his head whipped around.

“[Name]...!” His heart felt featherlight, which wasn’t uncommon, but… Something about it felt different than usual… It was quite concerning, actually…

“How was your day?” They caught up with him, playfully nudging against his side, and it felt like his skin was suddenly on fire.

“Oh…! That was…!” He quickly covered his mouth.

“... Are you okay?”

“Truly? I’m not quite sure myself…” They froze dead in their tracks, and suddenly, he found himself yanked down by the vest, their eyes directly focused on his.

“... Malleus.” They hesitated. “... How many of those cookies did you eat?”

“The… Cookies…?” It felt like there was suddenly a fog over his mind, and he could hardly think straight. They smelled so delicious… Like the first blast of spice from an oven being opened during holidays. “Why does it matter…”

“I told you to eat them slowly…!!!” At that, he paused.

“... Ah.” Even he wasn’t so gone as to miss his critical mistake.

“Shit, did you think I was talking about the tea?! ... This was my fault, I should’ve clarified!!!” His bones. Felt light. Like jelly. Oh. Those cookies would be heavenly with mint jelly… “We need to go. NOW.” A hand grabbed his, quickly dragging him off who-knows-where.

“I… Don’t feel so good…” … No, that wasn’t quite right… If anything, he felt… REALLY good…

“I know, Mal Mal. We’re heading to Ramshackle, so just… Try and focus a little longer, alright?” A nagging voice told him to ignore them, and it was tempting… “I know you’re a good boy, so you can do that for me, right?”

“... I am…” Like that, it lost all power over him. “I am a good boy…”

“Good boy~” Fireflies surrounded them, and just like that, they were on the front porch of the old dorm. “Alright, where’d I put my keys- aha~!” The door was quickly thrown open, the two stumbling in. “Do you want to be in the lounge or a bedroom-”

‘Bedroom.”

“Okay, lean against me then.” He didn’t hesitate, smushing as close as humanly possible against them as they ascended the stairs.

“You are… So soft…” His arms draped over them, and despite the situation, they couldn’t stop themselves from chuckling. “Sooooo soft…”

“Thank you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, now let’s get you to bed.” They went to one of the spare rooms at the end of the hall, Malleus’ ‘Unofficial’ room for when he needed a place to hide from his retainers.

Unsurprisingly, the second the bed was in sight, he flopped onto it, dragging [Name] down with him.

“Whoa…!” He nuzzled everywhere he could reach, purring louder than a freight train. “Alright, calm down, Mal Mal~”

“I love you.”

“You already said that silly~” He nipped sluggishly at their skin with sharpened fangs, whining as he was shooed away.

“Not right now. When it wears off, we can talk about it.”

“... Okay…” He grumbled, freeing them only so he could wrestle off his suffocating jacket and vest, undoing the first few buttons so the scales beneath could breathe better, before contenting himself with keeping them trapped.

“Good boy~” His tail wagged, curling taut around them.

“... I want more cookies.”

“Not right now, Malleus.” He whined, but unfortunately, there was nothing to be done about that. “I’ll make you some later, alright?”

With that, he started purring again, nudging his horns against them.

Chapter Text

“... I’m bored…”

There was nothing to do. Grim was off in the front yard playing Spelldrive with the others, and there weren’t any chores to do…

“... Maybe there’s… Something in storage…” I got up from my seat. Even if I just ended up pacing around and tidying up some closets, it was better than nothing. “... Mm… There were those old paints I found a few weeks ago…”

They looked vaguely familiar. But I couldn't tell exactly where it was from… Even so, something about them gave me a bad feeling, but it felt like a waste to just throw them out…

So soon enough, I found myself pulling out the crate, and set up one of the old, rickety easels crammed unceremoniously in the same, dusty room. I took a seat by an open window, examining the colors I had. There weren’t many hues, yet the few reminded me all-too-well of someone I loved back home…

Someone who, much to my regret, wasn’t actually a real person, but another fictional character… I mean, I was used to it, but sometimes it REALLY hurt, you know?

“... Haaaah…” I took a deep breath. “It’s not worth getting hung up over, [Name]...”

Paints were poured onto the palette, and a brush was in hand. I didn’t bother changing, I was already in old, messy clothes, and without care, I began tracing along one of the old canvas boards in the dorm.

“... Mm…” It was messy, and there were obvious flaws, but I didn’t worry about them. “... Which side were his bangs on…?” Instead, I focused on trying to remember him the best I could…

Who, you might ask?

Why, none other than Garry… From Ib.

As I continued to paint, I smiled softly, reminiscing about the little game that had amazed me so long ago… And of course, Garry in particular was troublesome. Even now, he was just so lovely and sweet… No, if anything, he was more so nowadays…!

“... Man…” I paused for just a moment, examining my work. “... I really wish it somehow existed here… I’m sure Idia would agree with me that you’re top tier…” I mean. HELLO. Idia was such a sap for Ortho, of COURSE he would also love a character who was The Most Brother Ever! … GOD, I didn’t miss home, but I sure did miss SOME things about it…

“... Mmgh…” I stared at the finished product. “... I can’t just NOT try painting Ib now…” And like that, more paints were grabbed, and I chose one of the clear spots next to Garry. Thankfully, she wasn’t much harder. Most of the struggle was trying to make her eyes even.

“... I wonder if people still talk about this game back home…” It was nichely popular, but ultimately still unknown by lots of people. It would be nice, knowing it was still loved by others after all this time… Hell, imagine if a whole REMAKE had come out since I was in Twisted Wonderland. I’d be MAD.

… I feel like Riddle would like Ib. For the red rose, if nothing else, though her being polite would help his opinion as well. Mary would be a handful for him, though-

“... Wait.” I paused my movement. “I can’t NOT paint Mary either…!” She already doesn’t get as much as the other two…!

I quickly finished up Ib, and soon enough, started painting the next free space, yellow paint splashing everywhere.

She was such a fascinating character… Someone who wasn’t entirely in the right, but you couldn’t bring yourself to fault them, even feeling sympathy for them… Really, it was a crime she wasn’t as popular as the other two.

“... I wonder if anyone here would like you…” I stared into the eyes, huffing when I noticed there was a noticeable difference between them. “... Ugh. Art… Why does making pretty pictures have to be so hard?”

I ran my fingers along the old canvas, smiling despite the traces of paint on my fingertips.

“... Mm.” I apparently was SPEEDRUNNING the painting process today. It was almost scary. “... I’ll do one more, at least…” I rose from my seat, but heard a clatter behind me.

“... Hm…?” The easel had fallen over. “Ah, shoot…!” I quickly set it back up, the lights flickering as I did so.

“What the…?!” I rubbed my eyes, slowly opening them as I looked around the room.

It wasn’t Ramshackle.

“... Huh…?” Pristine white walls surrounded me, but what my attention grasped onto was the giant painting before me, my heart pounding in recognition. It was abstract, but unmistakable as Ramshackle’s lounge. “... You’ve gotta be FUCKING kidding me.”

But it was no use. No matter how many times I scratched or tapped at the frame, nothing happened.

-----------

“... WAUGH!!”

“Oh…!”

“KYAAAAAH…!!!!!!” The three tumbled out of the rough painting. The oldest of them clutched his heart, but quickly scrambled to his feet. “Ib…!”

“I’m okay, Garry!” He quickly stepped in front of her, the second child staring at them, painted eyes dulled with fury.

“You’re in the way…” She clutched the palette knife in her hands. “GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!”

“WAIT, MARY!!!” Ib clutched tight onto Garry’s leg. “W-we all made it through the painting, didn’t we?!”

She froze.

“Just look around…! We’re not in the gallery! There’s no reason to hurt anyone now, is there?!”

“... Huh…?” Indeed, she looked around, and didn’t see a single sight of the paintings she knew, or feel the restrictive pressure of her home’s loneliness. The palette knife fell from her hands, and finally, Garry allowed himself a chance to breathe.

“.... Mary…?” Ib tried taking a step forward, but Garry gently held her back. Even if Mary wasn’t armed, she was still dangerous.

“... No… No, this can’t be…” Almost as if in a daze, Mary stumbled out of the room. “I’m supposed to… Someone has to stay…!” The other child looked up at her friend for help, but even he was clueless as to what to do.

“... Something’s wrong. It has to be…!”

---

They all froze, hearing a crash within Ramshackle.

“What the hell…?” Ace missed the Spelldrive disc, but it quickly went ignored at another crash. “God damnit, did someone get in a fight again?!”

“HEY!” Grim shot him a glare. “WHO’RE YOU TO TALK?!”

“You can’t say anything either, Grim! I caught you duking it out with Trey the other day!!!”

“That’s what he gets for bringing food into MY DORM, and NOT SHARING-” A third crash. Deuce, realizing nothing would get done at this rate, put away his wand. Just then the ghosts rushed through the building, looking terrified.

“BOYS…! IT’S BAD!!!” Deuce could only groan.

“Yeah, we heard about the fight, we’re coming-”

“NO, IT’S LIKE. REALLY REALLY BAD…!”

“We-we saw [Name] walk into some room, but…”

“THAT ROOM DOESN’T EXIST!!!” The three all shared a look.

“... Huh???” Suddenly, it felt like today would be an awful day.

“We COULDN’T make something like that up! We’ve lived here too long, we know the entire layout head-to-toe…!”

“By the time we realized though, the door slammed shut behind them, and-and…!” Another crash.

“THERE’S THREE HOOLIGANS RUNNING AROUND RAMSHACKLE SMASHING STUFF!!!”

“... WHAT?!?!” Yet again, another crash.

“Dude, how the fuck does that even happen?!”

“WE DON’T KNOW!!!”

“YOU’RE GHOSTS!!! HOW THE FUCK YOU DO NOT KNOW?!”

“ACE…!” Deuce grabbed him. “Not now, we have to stop them before something happens to Ramshackle!” Grim jabbed Ace.

“YEAH, YEAH!! GET THEM OUT OF MY DORM!!!

“I concur with Spade and Grim-” At the new voice behind them, the three jumped.

“GYAH!!!” Malleus raised a brow at the three.

“STOP SCARIN’ US, HORNTON!!!”

“When did you even GET here, dude?!”

“Just now, and it does not matter. Let us hurry before-” another crash, this one even louder. “... Something else is broken… And then we shall find [Name].”

With that, the group rushed to the dorm, the ghosts leading the charge.

---

“... Again…!” Mary grabbed another vase, and threw it straight at the ground, watching it shatter into countless fragments. “... Nothing’s happening!!! NOTHING’S HAPPENING!!!”

“MARY, STOP!!!” Ib wandered around the room, feeling… Well, slightly less uneasy than before, but it wasn’t the art gallery… Nor did she recognize any of it.

“I’M NOT GETTING LECTURED!!! WE REALLY ARE OUT OF THE GALLERY…! Oh, here, break this!” She slammed a bust right into Garry’s hands.

“I’m NOT breaking anything, Mary-” She grabbed his hands, and swung them down, forcing him to shatter it into pieces. “HEY…!”

“... Nothing happened!! Again…!!”

“Wait, was something SUPPOSED to happen…?!” She ignored him, passing by a painting on the wall, and stuck her tongue out at it. It didn’t so much as flinch or tutter. “... HAH!!!”

“SERIOUSLY, MARY!!! YOU CAN’T BE DESTROYING THINGS LIKE THIS!!!”

“WATCH ME!” She approached a coffee table, and with struggle, managed to flip it onto its side, sending a candy dish scattering glass and sweets everywhere.

“MARY…!!!” Wandering down the hall, Ib examined the strange wallpaper, and whimsical portraits along the walls. She clutched her rose close, the fear of one coming to life still plaguing her, but soon, she came upon a door that led outside.

The bright sky shined from the window above… She hadn’t seen it since she arrived with her parents-

“IN THERE!!!”

“Ah…!” Suddenly, fear. She caught a glimpse of a giant, hulking beast through the window, with horns that stretched high. She found herself frozen in place, despite knowing she needed to run. The knob jostled, yet refused to budge. It was locked, and she found comfort in it.

“Oh…! Hold on…” Suddenly, a hand phased through, and turned the switch, the door swinging open right after.

Just like that, countless eyes were on her, none she recognized, and all that stared at her, some even threatening…

“... Dude, is that a whole fucking kid???”

“You guys made it sound like it was a crook or something…!”

“THEY’RE STILL TRESPASSERS…!”

“SHE’S LIKE, WHAT?? FIVE??” Her heart pounded, staring right into the eyes of the beast. His eyes were like Mary’s, seemingly sweet, yet the longer you looked in, inhuman… He was the only one who showed no outward disgust, yet it was the one that terrified her most.

“... A-ah…” One step, and then two. They all watched her, saying something, yet she couldn’t-wouldn’t hear them. “... G-GARRY…!!!”

“NYAH?! THEY’RE RUNNING!!!”

“WE’RE NOT GONNA HURT YOU…!”

“JUST TELL THE OTHER KID TO STOP BREAKING OUR FURNITURE!!!”

Her heart pounded, she couldn’t register anything they were saying. She just ran through the hall, past the yet-unshattered decor.

“GARRY…!!!” He turned the corner, Mary right alongside him.

“IB!!! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!”

“Did you find something fun?!”

“”Oh…!!!”” She grabbed both of the sleeves, dragging them along.

“T-there’s…!” Before she could finish, the stranger with blue hair dashed around the corner, looking frazzled.

“HEY…!”

“KYAAAH…!” Mary scowled, seeing more people turn the corner.

“T-that isn’t fun at all…!”

“Y-YOU TWO, RUN!!!”

“AH…! (Ah…!)” The three ducked into the nearest hall.

“OI!!! I SAID GET BACK HERE-” Right before Deuce could sprint, there was a shout.

“MOVE, IDIOT-”

“GYAH…!” Ace crashed into him, knocking both of them to the ground. “DUMBASS…!”

“WHY AM I THE DUMBASS?! YOU WERE THE IDIOT JUST STANDING THERE!!!” The runaway trio kept running, trying to find any sort of exit they could escape to.

“NYA-HA~!!” Garry shrieked as a strange, cat-like creature blocked them. “GOTCHA NOW, IDIOTS-”

“AH…!” With not a single ounce of hesitation, Mary scooped him up rather violently, smushing him right against her chest.

“NYAGH…! PUT ME DOWN, PUT ME DOWN!!!” He clawed at her back, but she didn’t budge.

“It’s a CAT!!! And such a cute one too! You think so too, right, Ib~?!” She put her whole arm into scratching him, keeping Grim tight as he flailed about.

“OW OW OW…!!!” The other girl cocked her head at it, backing away at the sudden puff of smoke when Mary squeezed tighter.

“CAN WE KEEP IT-”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!”

“NYAGH…!” It was snatched from Mary’s hands, and tossed down the hall.

“GARRY! YOU BIG OL’ BULLY-”

“GET MAD AT ME LATER, MARY…!” Both him and Ib dragged her along, the girl looking mournfully back at the cat.

“I’M SORRY MR. KITTY…!!!”

“WHO’RE YOU CALLING A KITTY?! I’M THE GREAT-” They passed through a door, and Garry slammed it shut, quickly pushing a shelf in front of it.

“... Okay! There’s fire cats, teenagers… What’s next?! GHOSTS?!” Ib raised her finger, but slowly lowered it. Alas, it was too late. Garry took notice. “... There are ghosts, huh.”

“... Yeah…” Unlike the other two, Mary was all smiles, rushing around the room, sifting through all the knickknacks in the large living room.

“Whoa… Look at this, you two!!!” She plucked a horn off a pedestal. “BWAH~! BWAH~!! Look! I’m a musician!!!”

“Mary, seriously…!”

“And this lantern…! It’s an apple!!! Isn’t that just SO cute?! This lamp is kinda dusty, though… But it’s real, too! It’s not some pretty picture, or weird statue…!”

“Put it back…!”

“I don’t wanna…!” The room grew dark, but the two were too busy to notice. Goosebumps crawled along Ib’s skin, the same feeling of terror she’d felt earlier rising within. She turned to the window, where the once bright skies had been shining though prior, yet instead, it was pitch black…

Save a single, giant eye, peering through the window in malice.

“... A-ah…!!!” Hearing her cry the two looked over.

“... What…” The eye blinked, staring straight at them, a growl from outside. “... What in heaven’s name is THAT…?!” Ib and Garry clutched onto each other, while Mary hesitantly took a step towards it.

“... Hello?” It watched her, almost surprised by the sheer audacity. “I’m Mary! What’s your name~?”

It roared, booming like thunder, drowning out the falls of the other two bodies within.

-----------

“I SWEAR we’re not lying to you…! We came from another world!!!”

The House Leaders all looked at him with glares, though… He really couldn’t say he blamed them. Really, he’s sure the only reason they hadn’t arrested him yet was because of Ib and Mary… They were at least kind enough to get them juice and coloring sheets, so he was grateful, but… Really, only Mary was enjoying them.

Ib was still too shaken about earlier to do anything but lightly nurse her drink.

“... I believe him.” All their heads whipped to the literal CATBOY. There was a catboy. Actually, this wasn’t the weirdest thing in his life, lately. It just always felt like it was cats…

“Leona, you can’t be SERIOUS…!” Another guy, one he could only describe as ‘Gender Goals,’ scowled. “Have you SEEN how suspicious they are?!”

“Course I have. However, you all seem to be forgetting this isn’t the FIRST time it’s happened, so what makes it so surprising it’s a second?” For just a moment, Garry allowed himself to relax. Maybe he had an ally here… “Besides… Have you taken a look at this guy~? He’s trembling like a cornered rat! If he was trying to lie, he’d be doing a piss-poor job of it.”

… Okay, maybe it was too soon for the ally thing, but he’d take what he could get.

“Yeah soooo…” A tablet was propped up on the tablet. The voice within started him, he hadn’t realized someone was on the other end the entire time. “I agree with Leona… This guy feels too lame to actually be anything dangerous. Besides, none of them have magic or anything, so we’d look EXTRA bad if we did anything.”

“Shroud speaks with truth, although…” A shorter kid, one with a crown, and a gaudy cape shot his gaze towards him. He stood straight on instinct, REALLY wishing he were anywhere else right now. “That means we shall have to provide accommodations as we solve this conundrum, and I do not believe Ramshackle is a good idea, after the damage they have caused.” Another kid, with short, white hair immediately smiled.

“Scarabia can take them-”

“NO.”

“Wha..?!” Another man, one with glasses and a suspicious smile immediately raised his hand.

“Octavinelle would be more than willing to accommodate for our esteemed guests~” At that, Garry raised his hand.

“Er… I know WE’RE not in a position to choose, but… He’s… How do I put this-”

“Suspicious?”

“Untrustworthy?”

“A plethora of other negative adjectives?”

“... Yeah. That.” He gasped in offense, but when the table snickered, he quickly hid his face with a scowl.

“... In that case…” The red-head stood from his seat. “I shall take them in.”

“Absolutely not!” Gender Guy stood up. “I don’t trust them, which is exactly why I should take them in…!

“Oh~?” The other House Leader, he thinks that’s what they called themselves, smirked. “Well now, I suppose we should ask them~!” He turned, looking straight at Ib and Mary, the former of who froze like a deer in headlights. “Children, do you like animals?”

“Animals…?!” Mary’s page was quickly forgotten, and Ib herself hesitated, but nodded.

“Then you will be pleased to know that Heartslabyul is in possession of them, hedgehogs and flamingos to be specific.” Their eyes sparkled, Riddle unable to stop his smug grin. “The only thing I ask of you is that you follow our rules. Of course, I will not ask of you to follow all 810 of them, as that’s just unrealistic, but-”

‘BOO!!!” He flinched at Mary’s shout.

“Pardon…?!”

“It sounds boring, so it’s a NO!!!” With a huff, she grabbed her crayon again. Garry could only sigh, and turned to Ib with a small smile.

“How about you, Ib?” She looked into her cup, mindlessly swirling the red juice within.

“... I wanna see the hedgehogs…”

“Well…” Garry turned back to them. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but could Ib and I stay in Heartslabyul, then-”

“Nope.” He was cut off again by Gender Guy. “YOU’RE coming with me.”

“... Huh?” The glare shot his way was like venom.

“I have no concerns about the children, but you’re another story. The other one can also stay in our dorm, but as for you? I’m not allowing the luxury of a choice.”

“But that’s-”

“NO!” Mary crossed her arms. “You ALSO sound boring!”

“Pardon…?!” Riddle didn’t bother hiding his smile.

“I want somewhere fun! Like a pirate ship, ooh, or a circus, or-”

The door slammed open. Immediately, all eyes landed on Malleus, and the ones used to this whole charade groaned while Ib and Garry’s bodies filled with a familiar fear.

“... Oh. I see~” The newcomer smiled, but not a single ounce of kindness was in his eyes. “Another meeting, is it? And none of you cared to inform me~?”

“Ahaha, Malleus…~” The suspicious one adjusted his glasses. “We DID text you…”

“Truly? Because I have not received any messages!!!” Mary cocked her head hopping off her seat, and wandered around the man, but he was too busy with his tantrum to pay mind.

“He DID text you, lizard breath…!” The catboy groaned. “We ALL watched him, and even double-checked that it went through! Now, did you REALLY not get it, or did you break your damn phone again?!”

“O-of course not…!” Dead silence. “... ‘Tis but a crack-”

“Show us.”

“... No. I don’t think I will, actually.” Suddenly, his eyes widened, looking down at the child who latched onto his side.

“This one!!!” All of them stared at her as if she’d grown a second head. “He looks fun, so I’m staying with him!!!” Garry grew pale.

“Mary, I don’t think that’s a good idea…!”

“Well, YOU’RE not my dad, so you can’t stop me!!!”

“I-that’s true, but…” He looked at the table. “You all agree with me, right…?!”

“... Wha?” The white-haired kid beamed. “Malleus is great~!! Oh, Lilia too! I’m sure she’ll be JUST fine!!!”

… Really the truth is that the others ALSO agreed it was a bad idea, but none of them wanted to deal with Mary.

-----------

Roses everywhere, as far as the eye could see.

“... Wow…” Riddle beamed in pride. The child was rather quiet, so knowing his pride and joy was able to elicit even such subdued praise was splendid.

“Indeed… This is Heartslabyul. A dorm inspired by the order The Queen of Hearts brought upon the land.” Students dutifully passed around, chores and the like as they strolled few, almost all of them sneaking a few confused glances at the girl. “I am it’s House Leader, Riddle Rosehearts. As my personal guest, feel welcome to come to me with any inquires, whether it be in regards to it’s rules, or more personal matters.”

She nodded, gazing up in awe at the giant manor, a scent sweeter than the roses wafting though the air. Riddle perked up at it, a hint of blush coming to his cheeks.

“Ah, it seems Trey must be baking something… It seems we have wonderful timing, then. Come along, now!”

“Okay…!”

More eyes followed her, yet she felt relaxed. Even if she’d prefer Garry to be with her, Riddle was surprisingly nice… She felt safe with him. Though, she still kept her rose close, afraid if she looked away for a moment, it’d fly off, and get lost among the many surrounding them. They passed through whimsical staircases, with teacups along the walls, and countless checkerboard tiles before coming into a kitchen. Seeing the group within, Ib instinctively hid behind Riddle, his cape shielding most of her from view.

“... So like. It was TOTES adorbs, right~?”

“Haha, if you say so, Cater.”

“Oh, come ON, Trey Trey~ You’ve GOTTA think so…!”

“Trey. Cater.” Immediately, the two stood straight.

“Riddle~!”

“Just in time, the tarts are almost done-” The one with glasses noticed Ib, doing a double take. “... Is that a kid?”

“It is a long story. As you were saying?” The 3rd Years just shared a look.

“... Haha, yeah… The tarts are almost finished.”

“You like. Don’t mind if I have a bite too, don’t you, Riddle~”

“... I don’t see why not…” He turned to Ib, giving a soft smile. “What do you think, young one? Are they worthy of our company?”

They looked nice, but something about them was a little scary… Though, it would be rude to eat someone else’s food without them…

So with that, Ib smiled and nodded, the two 3rd Years giving their own smiles back.

---

“Whoa…!”

Not only was it an entire MANSION, but every inch of it was beautiful… Golden frames, brocades he wanted to run his hands along… Even the patterns, despite their bold designs, held such delicate details that he wanted to get on his knees and inspect each and every one…

“Yes, yes, it’s quite marvelous, isn’t it~?” Vil, he’d learned his name (finally…) beamed in pride. “This is the pride of Night Raven College, the House of Pomefiore. Our dorm represents the endless determination of The Beautiful Queen, and specializes in the very same alchemy she was praised for.”

“I see…!” Really, he shouldn’t, but he was getting a bit excited by things… “I think I recall her… It was one of the statues, wasn’t it?” The House Leader looked surprised.

“You paid attention to those?”

“Of course! This is a rare opportunity, you know! Being able to see art from another world entirely…!” At that, a flush came to Garry, and he sputtered. “Ah, and it’s smart to try and learn what I can, since we’re stuck here…! Just in case, you know!!!”

“... Hmph~” Vil smiled, yet something about it felt more genuine than the others. “... I think I may like you, actually.”

“... Huh?” He turned back around, continuing down the hall.”

“Your clothes… They’re raggedy, but I’m no fool. That’s a rather expensive coat, isn’t it?” Realizing he was being left behind, Garry quickly rushed to follow.

“You can tell?”

“Of course. I’d be a sham if I couldn’t… Do you doubt me?”

“No, no…! Most people just see it and assume it’s some dirty old coat, but… Well, I can’t say the ‘old’ part’s wrong, but it just feels right, you know?”

“Nothing’s wrong with age in fashion, as long as you wear it well, and you do.”

“Haha, you really think so~?”

“I know so. I’ll also have you know I don’t give out praise easily, so you should feel honored.” It had been a rough start, but now both men were all smiles. “That being said… As a guest of my dorm, I expect you to adhere to a uniform like the rest of us… Though, also because the thought of you wearing the same outfit for days without a wash is… Wretched.”

“A uniform…?!” It should’ve been embarrassing, but… He couldn’t lie. He’d been eying the velvet robes since he saw them. “Well, if it wouldn’t impose…~”

“Of course not. While we’re at it, I think new make-up is in order. Your eyeshadow is looking a little smudged, there…”

“Ah, is it…?! With everything that’s happened recently, I haven’t had time to check…” They approached someone in the hall, a man with a sleek bob cut, who bowed with a wide smile.

“Vil~ I have been looking for you, my-”

“Not now, Rook!” They walked right past.

“... Huh?” Garry looked over his shoulder, mouthing an apology as they walked on.

“... Ah.” Rook crossed his arms, watching as the two disappeared down the hall with an unreadable expression. “That must be la myrtille that I have heard so much about…”

… Well. No use worrying about it. He would be gone soon enough.

---

“Aw~!! Look at her~!!”

“Hey…!!!” At the intense hand ruffling her hair, Mary quickly smacked it away.

“Oh! A feisty one, too! She reminds me of you as a child, Malleus~” Sebek looked between his liege, and the very angry child who had already become his mortal nemesis.

“WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY MEAN BY THAT, LILIA?!?! You DARE to imply this menace of a child is ANYTHING LIKE OUR LIEGE…?!?!”

“Oh, I’m not implying it! I’m flat-out stating it! In fact, it reminds me of the time-oh…!” Mary ran off, making a beeline for Malleus. Sebek looked just about ready to explode as she hid behind him, sticking her tongue at the both of them.

“How DARE YOU USE LORD DRACONIA AS A SHIELD-”

“Sebek.”

“Urk…!” Malleus placed a hand on Mary’s shoulder.

“Lilia, you as well, and Silver whenever he wakes from his nap. You all must babysit young Mary as I search for [Name] with the ghosts-”

“No!” Mary latched onto him again. He just sighed, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion. “I’m going with you, Mally! These people are weird!!!”

“... Little one…” He looked down at her, yet she refused to budge. “I have important matters to attend to, and you are not allowed back at Ramshackle after your behavior.”

“I won’t break anything else, I promise…!” Alas, she was plucked up, and placed aside. “NOOOO…!!!”

“As I said,” Malleus quickly stepped away as she tried to latch on again, fireflies surrounding him. “I must assist with the search. I will be back for dinner, and Lilia?” He shot a glare.

“Yes, yes… No experimenting, tonight.” With that, he disappeared.

“... YOU!!!” Mary shot a glare at Sebek. “YOU WILL LISTEN TO US AND BEHAVE.”

“WHY SHOULD I?!”

“BECAUSE LORD DRACONIA HAS ALLOWED YOU INTO HIS DORM, DESPITE YOUR VILE ATTITUDE.”

“SO?!”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ‘SO?!’” … The child really did remind him of Malleus… Though, Lilia was dreading it a bit.

He didn’t exactly miss THOSE temper tantrums…

Chapter Text

“This is Reginald.” Carefully, the blue hedgehog was placed into Ib’s hands. “He is a regal man.”

“Cute…”

“I concur.” He picked up another hedgehog. “This is Beatrice. She is a very elegant lady, befitting of The Queen herself.”

“Pink…”

“It is her favorite color.” Reginald was carefully placed to the side, along the many hedgehogs that surrounded the two. Trey and Cater watched from a distance as another hedgehog was passed into the child’s hands.

“... You know! I was actually worried when he brought up this whole thing, but Riddle’s doing a fantastic job with babysitting!”

“Right~? Like. Has he ever dealt with kids outside of Halloween before??”

“Not that I’m aware of.” What helped a lot was that Ib was just the sweetest girl. She offered to help Trey with clean-up after tea, and listened intently to each and every thing Riddle spoke with interest… Really, it was only Cater she was hesitant with. (He introduced himself too strongly, and since then she’d kept her distance, much to his wounded pride.)

“... Like, I just remembered though. You hear anything about [Nay-Nay], yet, Trey…?”

“Unfortunately, no…” They both sighed. “When I checked on Ramshackle, Ace and Deuce hadn’t caught sight of them, either. Apparently they had to stop for a whole hour to calm Malleus down after he threatened to destroy the entire dorm if they still couldn’t find them…”

“Geez…! I get they’re besties and all, but isn’t that a bit much…?!”

“Haha, yeah. But that’s just the kinda guy he is, you know…”

“What about Grimmy?”

“He just… Kind of enabled Malleus, apparently…” Suddenly, someone cleared their throat. The two looked down, only to find Ib staring right at them, Riddle behind. After the tea party, he'd acquired a uniform for her to wear, so she felt less out of place within the giant dorm, though her own rose was affixed to it, rather than the standard painted ones.

“Oh, hello, Ib!” Trey kneeled down, giving a kind smile. “Did you need something?” She looked at Cater too, and soon enough, he found Riddle shooting him a glare.

“Yeah, yeah!!” He kneeled next to Trey. “Anything you want, we gotcha~!” She looked up at Riddle, who immediately smiled.

“Go on, little on.” With that reassurance, she held out a yellow hedgehog.

“Victoria said he wanted to say hi…” The tiny hedgehog waved its paw.

“Aw~ Well, hello to you too, Victoria!”

“How’re you doing, little guy~?” It squeaked happily, Ib laughing with it. “Hey, hey, has Riddle shown you the flamingos yet~?” She shook her head. “What~?? They’re SUPER cute too, you know…!”

“... Not as cute as the hedgehogs…” They all laughed at Riddle’s hushed mumble.

“They’re not, but I’m sure Ib would enjoy them, too. Right?” She eagerly nodded, looking up to Riddle.

“... I did inform you of the flamingos… But are you sure you want to leave the hedgehogs so soon? They quite enjoy your company…” She smiled, gently placing Victoria to his feet.

“I want to come back to them later.” At that, he smiled.

“I suppose that is acceptable… Come then, to the flamingos!” They all quickly trailed behind Riddle, though, for some reason, Trey and Cater couldn’t help but feel that today was going… REALLY smoothly…

It was like something was missing…

---

“[NAME]!!!” Ace and Deuce tore up the old dorm room. “WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!?!”

“SERIOUSLY, IT AIN’T FUNNY…!” They had managed to calm Malleus and Grim, but really… Not really. After his temper tantrum, the former just. Ended up curling up into a ball against the wall where the weird door was rumored to be for the past ten minutes, while Grim had been crying next to him ever since…

Either way, they probably WOULD destroy the dorm anyway if they didn’t find anything.

“We’re back…!” The ghosts phased through the walls.

“No luck in the Ghost Dimension, either…!” Ace screamed.

“DAMNIT…! Fuck, does anyone even know what they were doing BEFORE this shit happened…?!” One of the ghosts perked up.

“Eh, I think I recall them painting in one of the spare rooms…!” Deuce immediately rose to his feet from where he was desperately inspecting floorboards.

“WHICH ONE?!”

“First hall, third door to the end…!” The entire group barrelled out of the room, into the makeshift craft room. It’d been the first place they’d checked, but they didn’t REALLY check it… Only really looking for anything majorly wrong.

“... You sure it was here?” Ace opened a nearby closet, finding nothing but cleaning supplies, and an old bust, it’s eyes giving him chills.

“Course I am…! Just cause I’m dead don’t mean my memory’s given out yet…!” Deuce examined the painting on the canvas. He didn’t recognize it. It was… What’s that fancy art word… Oh yeah, abstract! And of someone who looked strangely familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it… He poked the canvas before he could stop himself, finding it smudged on his finger, a permanent sign of his sins.

“Ack…!” On instinct, he wiped it off on his uniform. “Shit…!” A bright green stain now trailed along the side of his slacks, the black fabric only emphasizing it.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!” Ace was immediately on him.

‘NOTHING…! I DIDN’T REALIZE THE PAINT WAS FRESH!!!”

“IT’S STILL ON THE EASEL, DUMBASS…!” Ace just huffed, and grabbed a brush. ‘Ugh, let’s just try and fix it before-... Hey, wait…” The brush was lowered. “The hell…? There’s not a single trace of green on this thing!” Ace poked the grey dress himself, only to find his finger also stained green. “... Wait… Doesn’t this kinda look like that one kid? The one who was breaking everything…?”

The ghosts crowded close.

“Yeah! It’s that whippersnapper…!”

“There’s no mistaking it!!!” Deuce squinted at the other figures, finding a familiar pair of eyes staring back at him, just as devoid of color.

“This one too…! It’s that other kid!” The tallest was pointed to by a ghost.

“And this is that other one! … What’s-His-Face???” They all crammed close.

“... Uh…” Deuce squinted harder. “Wasn’t it ‘Jerry’ or something…?”

“THAT’S IT!!! THAT JERRY FELLA!!!” Ace looked around, quickly finding paint containers that had been left open, and examined them.

“... Oh shit…” He gulped. “Aren’t these the paints that got recalled?! The ones that were bringing all those paintings to life…?!” He whipped out his phone, rapidly typing in the question. Everyone crammed close, and seeing the result, grew pale.

“... If they’re from here… Then where did [Name] go…?”

A nearby frame gleamed, catching their eye from the corner of the room, an abstract room they couldn’t recognize within.

There was one figure they recognized, however, despite the strange hues…

---

“... So you see, the ‘Death of the Individual’ is a piece by Weiss Guertena, which is represented by three headless mannequins, with matching dresses in red, blue, and yellow, and heels, as well.”

“Interesting…” Vil took a sip of his tea. “I assume it’s a commentary of how society forces one to abandon their ‘face,’ or sense of identity in pursuit of conformity?”

“Some believe so! Though, I’ve heard others say that they believe it’s because ‘identity’ lies in one’s expression!”

“Hmph. I daresay, I wish I could see this piece for myself…” Garry felt around his pockets, before sighing.

“Ah, if I had some paper and pencil on hand, I could sketch it for you…!”

“Oh? You’re an artist as well? To think I was already impressed to find you with a mind of fashion like myself.” He flushed at that.

“Well, I’d like to consider myself one, at the very least…”

“I see…” Vil reached into his robes, and pulled out his magical pen, passing it to him. “There should be fliers for the Science Club in the drawer, over there. Just use the back of one.”

“Oh, alright then…” Vil watched in amusement as his guest rushed over, and soon enough, there was a ‘click,’ the pen flying over the page. Soon enough, he found himself enraptured. Despite his shoddy confidence, the man clearly had skill, and a fantastic memory, to draw so efficiently with no assistance… No time had passed at all before it was held up to him, a rough, yet elegant sketch of three headless figures, with the same flashy cocktail dress.

“... This is…” He took the sheet into his hands, examining it. It may not have been the real thing, but something about it… Resonated, with him.

Even in his own dorm, there were those who pursued beauty, yet time and time again, he witnessed the rise and fall of true beauty, in desperate attempts to curry public favor instead. Even… Himself.

He almost ruined his entire life during VDC, from how badly he coveted it it...

“... Ah, Vil…?” His hands trembled, feeling tears prickle at his eyes. “Oh dear…! Are you alright?!”

“... I’m fine!” He furiously wiped his eyes, uncaring if it smudged his sleeve. “... I hate this piece. Being able to get me so worked up, over a mere sketch…” Despite that, he folded the paper, tucking it into his tome. “... Tell me more. About this Guertena. Are his other pieces as impactful? Or is he just some one-hit wonder?”

Seeing he was alright, Garry relaxed.

“Well… There’s another interesting one you might like…” He rushed back to the drawer, returning with more fliers, and got sketching. His hands swept over with ease, a glint in his eyes from being able to share his passions, and well… It was quite splendid. Vil had expected this whole ordeal to be a complete mess, so for once the opposite being true was quite nice!

“Do tell, Garry… Unless you plan to leave me in suspense, that is~”

“Haha, just a bit longer…!” True to his word, the next paper was passed over. It was a frame, with a monstrous flower, and deadly thorns crawling out.

“Interesting… At first glance, it’s a painting, yet in reality, it’s a sculpture…”

“Right~? It’s such a simple idea, yet it adds a new layer of dread that simply paint wouldn’t be able to express!” Vil found himself drawn to the flower. It was rather unpleasant, yet he felt a strange resemblance to it…

“Tell me, what is this one called?”

“That one?” Garry winced, as if remembering something unpleasant, but quickly smiled it off. “That one is called…

---

“... ‘Flowers of Jealousy…’”

Rook watched the site with a smile, but everyone in the dorm could tell he was actually PISSED. Really, everyone was, except one person. They all rushed away, quickly congregating in the ballroom, far from the House Leader and his guest.

“... THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE…!” One of the students shouted, ripping his glove off. “Coming into OUR dorm, and taking OUR Vil’s time…! HE MUST BE CHALLENGED!!!”

“Non, non, monsieur! Calm yourself!”

“B-but Rook…!” The Vice placed a reassuring hand upon his shoulder.

“This is but a temporary ordeal. Soon enough, la myrtille will be on his way, and things will return to normal.”

“Oh PLEASE, ROOK…! We’ve ALL seen how you’ve looked at them!!! Don’t even TRY to hide it from us!” He just sighed.

“... Yes, I will not lie. I have been feeling neglected these past few days, but as Vice House Leader, it will do no good for me to set a poor example-”

“EVERYONE…!!!” Another student dashed into the meeting, looking absolutely scandalized. “That… That pathetic miscreant…!” Immediately, Rook was on his, grabbing his shoulders with enough force to crack the bone beneath.

“WHAT?! WHAT DID HE DO NOW?!?!”

“He… He…!” The student wailed in terror. “HE’S MAKING PLANS TO GO TO AN ART GALLERY WITH VIL TOMORROW…!!!”

He fainted on the spot, the entire ballroom breaking into shouts of pure fury.

“HE’S NEVER INVITED US TO ART GALLERIES?!”

“I’VE BEEN A FRESHMAN WITH VIL, AND NEVER EVEN HAD ONE-ON-ONE TEA WITH HIM…!”

“WHAT’S NEXT?! HE REPLACES ROOK, TOO…?!” The Vice fell to his knees, bangs concealing his face. As the uproars continued, Epel cautiously approached him.

“Uh… Rook…?” Gloved hands clenched tight. “You good, man…?”

“... Moi~?” He turned to Epel, eyes shut, with a wide smile. “Of course, Epel~!” He slowly rose to his feet, dusting his uniform.

“Really, cause you don’t LOOK good…”

“I assure you, I shall be fine…” He took a deep breath. “... Je vais TUER CETTE EXCUSE PATHÉTIQUE D'UN HOMME !!! D'abord il partage le thé avec MON Vil, puis se refait une beauté sans MOI, utilise les flyers de MON club pour ses petits dessins pathétiques, et maintenant il a même l'audace de le rejoindre dans une GALERIE sans MOI ??? JE SUIS LE CONNISATEUR D'ART DE CE DORTOIR...!!! Au nom des Sept, qui pense-t-il ÊTRE ?!?!”

Epel just slowly backed away, hoping no one noticed him leaving the ballroom.

---

Right as he was about to unwind for the night, someone knocked on his door.

“... Hm?” He couldn’t imagine it was Vil, unless he’d forgotten something important… “Who is it?”

“Just open the door…!” He didn’t recognize the voice.

“Can’t this wait until tomorrow? It’s quite late, you know-”