Archive of Our Own ^beta

Nearly all the items were marked with a dash at the end, meaning I had found the material and put it in the cart. There was only one thing left.

Eggs.

I quietly sighed, shutting my phone and putting it away. Thank RUNAS my list is short this week. This is all that was left.

Once I check out, I can finally make my journey home. No more people to deal with.

I look up, and realize that I had once again wandered into the wrong aisle. Why was it so hard to do this, and on today of all days!?

I groaned, my head falling onto the cart, drained from meandering everywhere. I closed my eyes, letting myself relax a little. My physical form, mainly my head, ached for various reasons.

I inhaled deeply, clenched the cart, raised my head, and opened my eyes again.

I can do this. I can do this. Forcing on a smile, I looked around and spotted the open-refrigeration section.

I sluggishly turned the cart and pushed it towards the desired location, being extra wary as I traveled.

Upon reaching my destination, I stood still. There were rows and rows of cheeses, but I was here for something else.

What was I doing again..? I think it was...

I took out my phone and looked at my list.

Processing...

Of course, I was looking for eggs!

I looked at both sides and found the cartons of eggs. After collecting myself, I forced my body to cooperate and move the cart until I reached the eggs.

I paused, a light feeling encompassing me. It was like I was dizzy, yet I was also not? I waited to ensure I would not stumble when I walked away from the cart, which had been assisting with my ability to stand.

Gradually, I released my grip and made my way to the cartons at a careful pace.

I looked over the various brands carefully, making sure to pick the right one. I had a very specific variation I was searching for, as any other would make the sustenance created from them sub-par.

After a few moments, I finally found the brand. I slowly reached out and grabbed a blue carton, which had a picture of a barn on a hill with a crop field, and opened it to make a check on quality.

No cracks. Good.

I looked down to carefully watch my steps, making sure I would not trip. Facing the cart now, I made my steady progression towards it and placed the carton in the basket with my other items.

I took out my phone for what felt like one out of millions of times and added a dash at the end of "Eggs" in the list. Looking through the list again, I felt satisfied with the completion of this strenuous quest:

Dog food-

Chocolate powder mix-

Grape juice-

Bottled water-

Olive oil-

Eggs-

Finally, it is done. Now to get-

Wait, I need to purchase the items still! Why do I get my hopes up like this...

I mustered the energy I could and turned the cart, heading to one of the counters. It had a friendly looking man standing by a computer. He had bright feather-like hair and a dark grey vest that was layered atop his regular clothes, and skin that was a light orange.

It was a bit much for the eyes right now.

Lets just finish this quickly.

"Ahem... Salutations, sir." That came out weaker than I hoped.

"Hello there! Just put the items on the conveyor belt and I can process them for you." The man said in a lively tone.

I started placing my items on the conveyor belt, one after another, being extra careful with the eggs. The man scanned and placed them into plastic bags.

After putting the last item on the belt, I pushed the cart next to the bags and prepared myself for the last interaction (hopefully) for today.

I took out my wallet and searched through it for the right item.

Processing... Processing...

Ah! There it is!

I found the cash sitting inside, in a specific pocket. Right where it should be. I looked up and waited for the man to finish scanning.

Strange, I half expected it to be the other way around.

I decided to simply stare at the white screen shown on the payment machine, awaiting to be called for the transaction. Normally I would speak and dance to release the tension a bit, but I can barely muster the energy to even begin conversing.

I just realized I was scratching at my wrists again, and probably have been for a while. They looked rather scratched up.

I feel a bit light again...

"Would you like to pay with cash or credit?" The man's voice suddenly pipped in, breaking me out of a dream-like state.

"Uh... Cash." My voice is starting to give out. I need to act fast.

I took out a good portion of money in my wallet... Only to realize that I had no idea what the amount I should pay is.

"Umm... What was the amount, sir?" I shyly asked. I hope he is not too mad that I missed what he said...

"36 dollars and 71 cents." He said warmly.

I carefully counted the numbers so they added up to a number close to what he requested, and gave him a slightly higher amount.

He then counted the dollars, whispering the numbers under his breath, and put them away in the register. He then took out some coins and handed them to me.

"Have a great day!" He said. I put away the coins and wallet.

"Thank you." I pushed my voice as hard as possible, which fortunately did not glitch, and I placed the bags in the cart. We waved at each other as I left with my cart that contained my bagged items.

Upon approaching the exit, the doors slid open and light suddenly flooded my vision. A sharp pain overwhelmed over me, causing me to recoil. I pushed on anyway.

When my sight had returned and the pain ebbed away, I stopped to look around the lot.

There were many bright and colorful forms of transportation; varying from large to small, mechanical to mystical, even creatures could be seen tied to poles.

The colors were physically painful to my sight, forcing me to look away and close my eyes.

There was an ache in my head... Like something was squeezing it...

I forced my eyes open and found a cooler sitting on a wagon, just out of sight. Both were incredibly simple and basic, almost like flat shapes slapped together into a crude form of the objects, with solid flat colors. It was hiding behind the corner of the building, in a shaded area.

Perfect, right where I left it.

I pushed the cart over to the container, the effort required increasing over time, and stopped next to it.

I had to lie my head down again, leaning on the cart. Just to collect myself enough to put away the items.

After several moments of convincing myself to move, I get off the cart and walk over to the cooler.

I opened it, which contained ice and two bottled waters, and placed the newly bought water bottles, grape juice, and eggs inside. With the transfer complete, organization came next.

Hmmm... It looks great as is. There is not really much to organize here.

I put the lid back on, and placed the last of the groceries on top or in the wagon.

I shoved the cart to where many others were parked, and returned to my small cooler-wagon combo.

I took in a deep breath.

"Hrk..!" I coughed a few times, voice distorting slightly, but I quickly stabilized before it worsened.

A quick look around assured me that no one noticed, causing a sigh to escape my lips. I got on my knees and shoved off whatever was on top of the cooler, opened it up, and dug around for an opened water.

When I did, I drank some of the fluid to calm the stinging in my throat. It eased the pain a little.

I put away the bottle, and took some of the ice sitting on the top. I started rubbing it on my facial textures like an ointment to soothe the overwhelming heat. It helped by a margin.

After putting away the ice and placing everything in position, the journey to home began.

Its not a very interesting journey, just traversing the grey desert and finding occasional objects amidst the emptiness. You would think you were going in circles if it weren't for the random things that you can spot on occasion.

I knew the path home, as I have done it a hundred times by now.

Or did I..? I lost track somewhere around 30.

Anyways, I traversed the area for a while.

And then for half an hour.

And then it went past an hour.

And then... then...

My head... Everything... hurts... so much...

I wanted to stop.

I needed to stop.

I had to stop.

I was somewhere near the end, at the large cone shaped boulder with the multicolored patterns on it.

My legs ached worse than ever, and my body felt like crumbling. I nearly collapsed on the giant rock, sliding down and relaxing as much as possible in my abysmal state, huffing quietly.

I'm so tired... Just a small nap...

No! No resting until I get home.

I shook my head.

I pushed against the stone, forcing myself to stand. I was slow, mainly from exhaustion, but pushed anyway.

When I stood up, I took the wagon and pulled it closer. I moved the items off the cooler's lid and grabbed some ice cubes, applying it like earlier, and longer than before. The cold made my skin sting, but it was an improvement from the burning sensation.

I coughed a few more times into my arm, my voice altering more than earlier, and forced my lungs to breathe in. The aching feeling worsened a little.

I threw back in what was left, set everything back into position, and continued on my journey.

There was not much left though, and I wound up at home about 12 minuets later.

I could hear Buttercup barking in the distance. The wagon wheels must have alerted her, as they tended to be obnoxiously loud.

My home is not the greatest, but it is surprisingly sturdy. It may be a little old and worn down, with occasional openings among the walls and roof, but I was able to fix it up quite a bit. Still pretty bland and uninteresting to look at.

Inside is certainly a different view though. The furniture that decorate my home probably seem like odd choices, or clash with each other. But I simply make do with what I am given.

I found quite a few of the decor in random areas, either thrown out by their owners or winning them at an auction. Some even spawned in the strangest of locations in the middle of nowhere.

Buttercup, the hourglass dog me and Moony got from the cancelled auction, came up to me barking and wagging her tail. Seeing her so happy made today slightly better than before.

"Salutations Buttercup! I will be home for the rest of the day. I have hope that things will improve!" I got on my knees and pet her, which she responded by getting on my lap and sniffing me. She then gave my face a few licks.

"No no no no no no no! No licks there please." I gently push her muzzle away my face, and she got off my lap.

"I love the kisses, just not there." I say much quieter than usual, voice glitching again.

She looked down at the back of my wrist, then gave it a few soft licks. Specifically the dry area where I had been scratching. She probably knew I was not feeling well today.

Thinking back on it, she has been very gentle with me since this morning. Perhaps she is worried about me?

Well, whatever the case is, I still have groceries to put away.

I grabbed the wagon and dragged it over to the counter, then took off the items on top of the cooler and in the wagon. The dog food was put on the floor, while the chocolate mix and olive oil were put on the counter.

I dragged the dog food to the small closet, and put it away. I then put the olive oil and chocolate mix in a cabinet where my non-refrigerated food items go.

I opened the cooler and took out the water bottles, grape juice, and eggs. After placing them on the counter, I made haste with delicate care to put the eggs in the fridge. After that was the grape juice and the water bottles.

Wait, I feel like I missed something.

I remember I was supposed to aquire dog food and grape juice, those were a pain to get to. Then I was supposed to get... Shoot.

I suppose I need to see my portable device, but there is one last thing to do first.

I went over to the chilled container and picked it up with all of my strength. I carried it over to the doorway and poured the last of its contents outside, then put it back on the wagon and placed the lid inside. Lastly, I pulled it away to a walk in closet and put in a corner.

Now I can look over my list.

Upon walking out of the large closet and closing the door, I took my phone out again and looked over the short list of necessities.

I have grape juice, chocolate mix, eggs...

Suddenly, I realized my mistake.

Wait! Did I forget the milk!?

Right at the end. The very end of the list, hidden by the miniature screen's limit, had "Milk" typed down.

There was no dash at the end.

I immediately began to feel a rush of anxious energy; and ran to the refrigerator to search. I did this for several minuets, frantically pushing and moving the other items inside, until the thought finally settled in...

I forgot it.

I couldn't breath. My eyesight grew blurry. Static streaked down one of my cheeks, freezing compared to the intense warmth of my skin.

I slammed the fridge door, and moved to clutch the counter.

I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry

I heard a whine, and something nuzzling my arm. I looked to my right to see that Buttercup was looking back, hovering in the air.

She looked... so sad...

I hiccuped, trying to keep down a sob, and wiped away the single stream. I hugged and held her close, gasping for air as I desperately tried to keep myself together. I slowly moved to sit on the ground.

After just a moment of crying, I quickly calmed down. It did not improve how I felt from before the panic.

If anything, I feel more drained now than I already was.

In a moment, I had a sudden desire to call Moony. I wished to hear her, just for a little bit.

After putting down Buttercup, I grabbed my phone again. This time going to contacts. It only had two names in it: Merci and Moony.

Moony was selected.

By the time the phone started ringing, a pang of regret flowed through me.

Is this a bad time? What if she is currently busy with important duties? Why did I think this was a good idea in the first place?

The phone picked up.

Wait, not yet!

And things have been pretty calm over here in the maze corridors. So much so that it's almost disturbing. There was only one incident where someone did something stupidly dangerous, and that's it! Today's gonna be a long day isn't it...

My phone rings.

Is it JENA?

No, ENA never calls me. I always call first. It's probably just a scammer again.

Well... Can't hurt to check, right?

I grabbed it and looked at the little pixelated screen:

ENA

She is calling me! Maybe something happened and she needs help?

No, don't assume the worst. She probably just... forgot something! Yeah, it's probably just that again.

I pressed accept.

"ENA, you called me! It's been a while since you've done that, huh?" I said cheerfully with surprise, trying to assure myself that she was alright and everything was okay.

"Yes, it has been a while, dearest Moony. I simply wanted to see how you were doing." She said with a bright voice, glistening with joy as usual.

And yet... Something feels wrong.

I shook my head.

It's probably nothing. After all, this is ENA we're talking about. She's always at least a little weird.

"Eh, nothing too crazy over here. One of my neighbors tried to set off a firework in the halls. Other than that, it's been surprisingly calm." I responded in a bored manner.

"Wait, someone tried to set off a firework? In the labyrinth? Are you not worried that you could get injured?" She asked with worry. She always worries over me, even when she knows I'm fine. It's kind o-

Nope nope nope, not finishing that thought. Not opening that cage of birds yet.

"You'd be surprised with the amount of stuff that goes on. It's just kinda how things work here." I respond, relaxing to the conversation.

Its always nice to talk to her. She always has such interesting ways to say things.

"Well... At least y-your okay..." She quietly said. Did her voice glitch a moment..?

"You okay? You don't sound so good." I ask with some worry, but still trying to keep calm.

It's probably because she missed an item, and she's close to bursting. After a quick cry about it, she'll calm down and apologize (though she doesn't need to). Then I'll help pick it up at the store and we'll hang out a bit, and then everything will go back to normal.

I move the phone a small distance from my head.

"I... I FOWGOT TO GET MIWK!" She suddenly cried. Good thing I kept the phone away, though I had to hold it farther from how loud she was.

She began sobbing, and I could hear Buttercup whining sadly. Probably trying to comfort her.

"Hey, I can pick up some and come for a quick visit!" I say a bit louder, so ENA can hear me.

She quickly calmed down, sniffling as she said;

"Y-You wouwd weawwy do that..?"

"Of course! It's not that big a deal, and we can do something together after I drop it off at your place. Sound like a plan?" I say in a confident manner.

She became quiet for a bit, until I heard coughing. It was barely noticable, but I'm sure I heard it right.

"Ye-Yeah, that c-could work-rk. I a-am not sure abou-out meeting up, bu-ut I'm s-sure I-I ca-ca-can wai-" Her glitching voice was interrupted by more coughs, distorting her voice more.

They were... harsh... and hearing them made me tense up. Chills went through me the longer it lasted.

"ENA? Hey, hey ENA!" I worriedly called out to her. The coughing cooled down, and she breathed as normally as one could when they're sick.

"Ye-yes Moony-y?" She croaked out. Her voice sounded like it was about to burst at any moment.

I begin to gather materials and get ready.

"Okay, no more talking alright? Your voice is clearly not up for it. Anyways I'm getting some stuff you'll need and heading straight over to your place, whether you like it or not." I say in a commanding tone.

"Wa-ait!"

"What did I say about talking?"

She cleared her voice, which then turned into a coughing fit, and began to speak again.

"You don't know where my home is." She said in a more clear but weak, almost whispery tone.

I stop what I'm doing.

Oh shoot, I completely forgot! She never told me her home address! From what I know, it's far away and hidden. Its not a lot, and is honestly kind of suspicious, but I can deal with that.

And I need to, with the state she was in.

"Well, where do you live? And I need you to give me the shortest path possible." I give carefully, trying my best to be comforting.

"Do you remember the big shack nearby our meeting place?"

Oh dear RUNAS, don't tell me...

"... Yes?"

Please don't let it be what I think it is...

"I live there."

My breath hitched.

What should I say? What could I say!?

What could I say, when it turns out that my bestest friend in the whole world was living in a run down shack the whole time!?

I take a deep breath. Now isn't a good time to be upset.

"I'm on my way. Just stay right where you are, and I'll be there. I promise." I hung up and put away the phone, rushing out the door with a bag of supplies.

She needs me. She needs me now, and I'm going to be there for her. I just hope I'm not too late.

 

---

"... I'll be there. I promise." I heard Moony give in a serious and stern voice, and the call ended. I laid down on the floor.

...

I screwed up really bad this time.

What am I thinking, of course I screwed up! That's what I always do!

Every single time I get to know someone, trust someone, I lose them. Because I just have to open my trap and make the same stupid mistakes I always do.

I'm surprised Moony didn't leave me sooner, after dealing with my temper tantrums. Or even after dealing with me at all; since I'm such a stupid, arrogant, loathsome piece of garbage.

She must have felt pity for me being all alone. That must be why she didn't leave sooner.

She's too nice for me, letting me trample all over her. Burdening her with my problems when I should worry about her, like a decent person. She's so wonderful and sweet and loving like that, worrying over a worthless no one who does nothing but leech off of them.

She deserves someone who truly cares about her. I hope she finds the one.

So... what do I do now?

Is this my life now? Just...

Alone?

Perhaps I should-

I heard a whine next to me, barely. Something nudged my head.

That's right, I have Buttercup.

... I don't deserve her either.

I need to get her a better place to live.

But... maybe I can enjoy company. Just a little longer. One last time.

I groan, my whole body aching as I struggled to get off the floor. My arms were shaking, the pain intensifying. It hurt too much, and I collapsed back on the floor again.

I notice the static tears running down one side of my face.

Have I seriously been crying again? Come on ENA, stop being a child and grow up. I wipe away the tear stream rolling down my right cheek, and I choke down sobs.

Why is it so hard to simply be in control of these emotions? Why do I fall apart and cry like there's nothing I can do, even though I can clearly do something.

I tried to lift my arms, reaching out to hold my dear friend Buttercup, but they fell to the floor. I could feel my strength fading.

I feel so tired...

I let my eyes close.

This could be the end. I think I can live with that.

My breathing slowed.

I let everything... fade... away...

...

A door suddenly opens. Footsteps begin to approach, only to suddenly grow silent.

Something picks me up from behind my back and behind the knees, gently sitting me on a soft and warm cushion. There was still something holding my back up still, like there was an arm behind my shoulders.

I could hear a distant voice, soft and caring, calling out my name. They sounded worried.

I worked the effort to open my eyes at least a little. I blinked a few times, the sudden light blinding me. My sight quickly cleared enough to see vague figures.

I could see a yellow object floating nearby, which was likely Buttercup. I could hear her whining worriedly nearby.

Above me to the side was someone familiar, but I could not tell who. Their head glowed a brilliant pale white, with smooth black hair. They wore a grey sweater with a dark grey jacket, and their skin was a similar pale as their face.

It took a moment to register the image, and the colors caused hope to suddenly rise in me. In just a moment, with that glimmer of hope in my chest still growing, I said:

"Moo- ny..?"

Is this seriously supposed to be ENA's "home"?

I shook my head. First things first.

I opened the front door and looked around for her. The place was a mess of colors and shapes, the furniture being organized yet a mess at the same time.

Leave it to JENA to have a confusing sense of... anything.

While looking around, something caught my eye.

It was ENA, lying on the ground with Buttercup next to her. Poor pup looked worried to bits.

I rush over to her, sitting down on my knees, and I gently picked her up behind the legs and back. She was completely limp.

I placed her down on my lap and held her in my arms, looking her over. Buttercup hovered near me, by my shoulder.

She looked awful.

Her colors were dull from illness, but her cheeks were flushed. Her body was too warm, and her breathing was far too slow.

Her eyes were closed.

"EENA? EENA, wake up. ENA. ENA!" I said in a quiet voice, gently nudging her back with my arm.

Please please please please please, wake up!

Even just a moment, open your eyes!

I could feel static begin to well up in my eye.

Please ...

Her eyes opened. They were glossy and heavy, but open.

"INA..?"

She blinked a few times, and her eyes began to clear up and focus. She looked at Buttercup a moment, then at me.

After a few moments, her eyes lit up as she barely rasped out;

"Moo- ny..?"

A tiny stream trickled down my cheek. I slowly reached out and held her head, stroking her cheek with my thumb.

She was burning up.

How did you get so sick? Have you been out there this whole time, and not even realized that? Why did you try to hide this from me?

So many questions rushed through my head, but I never said a word. I knew you couldn't answer, even if you wanted to. And if you did try, you would burst into tears.

Her face changed color, her right turning white with a blue blush while the other side turned black.

"M-Moowny-ny... Yo-you'we..." She began to tear up, her glitching voice growing weaker. Her arm shook wildly as she struggled to lift it.

"I-I though-ought I..." I delicately took her hand.

"Hey, hey... It's okay, I'm here. I'm taking you to my place so you can get better." I picked her up like before, and stood up.

She suddenly groaned, curling in on herself.

"HENA? You okay?" I asked in the softest voice I could.

"H-head... hur-urt..." She weakly whispered out, grasping at my shirt with what little energy she had left.

"I got some stuff that can help, but we need to go to my place. Just hang tight for now." I said in a level tone.

She switched back to her classic blue and yellow, her eyes growing heavy again. She nodded slowly and closed her eyes, laying her head on my chest. The hand that gripped my shirt let go and fell on her stomach.

I ran out the still open door, letting Buttercup follow me out before closing it, and got away from that broken down place. I clutched MENA closer as I passed the Guardian Entity and went through the secret entrance again. I traversed through the maze, taking the safest and shortest route possible. I made sure to not interact with anyone or anything, and made doubly sure that ENA was safe through it all. I also checked behind myself every now and again to ensure that Buttercup was with me the whole way.

After travelling for a few minutes, thought it felt like a few hours, I was finally home.

I entered, with Buttercup following shortly after, and shut the door behind me. I went over to the couch and laid ENA down on it gently. I kneeled next to her and placed a hand on her forehead, carefully looking her over.

She was pale and felt too warm, and still unconscious. Looks like I'll need to wait to take her temperature. Pretty confident it'll be a fever.

I stood up again and headed to the kitchen. I turned on the sink, taking a wash cloth and dousing it with cold water. I then went back and placed it on her head, noticing that Buttercup was laying on her lap now. JENA released a little sigh, the tension in her posture loosening a little.

I went back to the kitchen and grabbed a pot from a cabinet, and a can of chicken noodle soup from a different cabinet. I emptied the can into the pot and started cooking it up on the stove, using a fork to help stir it every now and again.

She's probably gonna be hungry. Plus it might help with her voice. The stray thought suddenly reminded me of something else I should do, so I put down the utensil and head to my bag a moment. I take out some paper and a pencil, and place it on the stand next to the couch.

I then quickly head back to the soup and stirred it a little. I sighed to myself when it was clear that the soup was still good, and continued to watch over it. I occasionally stirred it to make sure that it didn't stick together, of course.

Right when I was prepared to pour the soup in a bowl, I heard a groan to my right. I looked and saw that DENA had sat up, causing the washcloth to fall off.

It fell on the yellow pup in her lap, waking them up as well. They didn't move though, only laid there on her lap still.

"Moowny..?" I barely heard her speak, but I noticed nonetheless. I rushed over and knelt beside her.

"I'm here. How are you feeling? Do you need anything?" I quietly asked her, checking her temp with my hand real quick again. I could hear the nervous energy dripping in my words. Fortunately, she seems to be in a tired haze still.

She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped and rubbed where the base of her neck would be.

Right. She lost her voice. I picked up the paper and pencil, and handed it to her. ONA placed it on top of Buttercup, who refused to move still.

"You can use this and write down what you wanna say." She began to scribble slowly on the paper, while being careful with the pressure. She then erased a bit, and wrote again. Then erased, and erase some more. She started tearing up after so many attempts.

I placed a hand on her shoulder, and she looked at me.

"Don't worry about how neat it is. If it's readable, then I can roll with it."

Hesitantly, she nodded, and began to write again. She worked a little faster, with a shaky hand.

When she was done, she put the pencil down and pushed it towards me slightly. I leaned closer and read what was written;

'Okay.'

The handwriting was sloppy, almost like a child's, but I expected that.

What was odd was that she took this long for one word. Part of me wonders...

"You hungry?" I ask without hesitation.

She looked away and held her belly, the expression a dead give away.

"I made some soup. Let me get it for you." I moved the paper and pencil back onto the stand, then stood up and went back to what I was doing previously.

I poured the pot's material into the bowl, then went to get a spoon.

I checked on EENA a moment, who was staring blankly at nothing as she gently pet Buttercup.

I put the spoon in the bowl and headed towards her.

"Hey there, I brought you something." She snapped out of her staring and looked at the bowl. She lifted her arms, and they shook wildly.

So wildly that I'm pretty sure she'd immediately drop the bowl like a hot potato the moment she grabs it.

"Ehhh, why don't I help you with this?" I awkwardly said, and I knelt next to her again. She glanced to the side, hesitantly looking at me.

"Don't worry, just let me know when you're done." I lifted up the bowl beneath her head, and picked up the spoon. I lifted the broth to her mouth, and she hesitantly ate it.

I was about to scoop some more, but ENA started to wave her hands. I looked at the gesture carefully, and connected what she was trying to say.

"Finished? Already?" I say, a little surprised.

She nodded.

Maybe she's already eaten. Things certainly wouldn't go well if I made her eat more. The mere thought of the sickening feeling made me nearly cringe.

I took the bowl over to the counter and placed it down, then put the pot in the sink.

"Alright then. I'll leave out the soup to cool a little longer before I put it away. Need anything else?" I ask casually. She shook her head, laying down on the couch.

I mulled over something a moment, and grabbed the washcloth that was still on Buttercup's back. I put it under cold water, and placed it on ENA's forehead again.

Something still felt missing though...

I walked off to my room, and came back with a blanket and two pillows in my arms. I lifted ENA's back a moment to place the pillows behind her, and rolled out the blanket in the air. I spread it on top of her and tucked her in, ensuring she was absolutely safe.

Little Buttercup popped her head out from under the covers, and laid down right next to LENA. The picasso lady then stretched and wrapped an arm around the pup, sighing with a small smile on her face.

"Comfortable?" She nodded, and I stood up.

"I'll be doing the last of my work nearby, so let me know if you need anything." I walk into my room, and leave the door open a crack.

I flopped into a chair at my desk and pull myself closer, working on boring things again. Fortunately, it's the last bill. Good thing it only comes once every two and a half months. It's so tiring so quick.

I yawn loudly, already feeling tired and ready to quit. Just a few last things to do.

---

 

I silently rested on the couch, trying to achieve sleep. Moony wants me to get better, and rest is one of the best ways to aquire it.

Though... I do feel a bit hungry... but that would mean bothering Moony! I would never want her to worry over me, especially with something I can do myself.

She has already dealt with enough of my problems as it is. Besides, the discomfort is minor. I can just sleep through it.

I take a deep breath, and relax in my cozy cocoon. I stare up at the star speckled scenery, feeling lighter as moments pass. Buttercup slept quietly next to me, radiating a comforting warmth. I closed my eyes and let the world slowly fade...

A growl in my stomach came right as I was on the verge of sleep. What awful timing!

Perhaps I should eat.

But that would mean pestering Moony again! She is incredibly busy with work, which I should not distract her from.

What to do, what to do... I notice that the bowl of soup is still sitting by the oven.

Aha! I can just walk over there and eat it by myself!

I carefully shift so I do not disturb my dear pup, and slowly sit upright. After changing to a proper position to stand, I then begin to apply my weight to my legs and stand fully straight. I wobbled a moment, forcing me to sit on the floor while grabbing onto the couch.

I checked on Buttercup to see that she was staring at me intensely. She quietly whined, as if telling me to return to the sofa.

"Do no-ot... worry." I softly said to her, and gave her gentle strokes on the head.

It will only be for a short moment. Just a few bites and then I will go straight to bed. I redirected my focus onto the bowl.

I then move to stand, but not the whole way. I continue to latch onto the couch, ensuring that I wouldn't fall. I take small steps, one at a time.

My heart was pounding too rapidly in my chest, and breathing was becoming increasingly difficult. My legs quivered as I placed silent steps on the ground. My throat burned with irritation, and I involuntarily coughed.

I looked over at the door Moony entered, seeing nothing but a black abyss with small white specks. Not a sound came from inside.

A quiet sigh escaped my lips, and I continue my approach.

I reach the edge of the couch, only just noticing that I would have to stand on my own for a short time. There is light nudging on my leg, but I refuse to look.

I need to do this myself. No turning back.

I let go, and attempt to walk by myself. I take a few steps, each one only barely shaking.

It was going surprisingly well, so I started to slowly stand upright. It went well compared to the previous time, able to stand straight with minimal balance issues. I suppose my body was not prepared for the sudden speed and strength then. I take a full step.

That was a terrible miscalculation on my part, and the vertigo suddenly overwhelms me. I lose my balance and collapse to my knees.

I held my head as a pounding sensation went through it, the pain nearly unbearable. It took a substantial amount of effort to not sob.

There was a droning sound ringing in my ears. It was loud.

So, so loud.

A squeak escaped my throat, and I covered my mouth with my hands.

No, she can't know about this! I've put her through enough already! I just need to-

A sudden ache pierced my stomach, causing me to lean forward and hold it. I haphazardly lie down on the cold floor, sending another wave of pain through me.

I'm so hungry...

And so cold...

I curled in on myself, eyes shut tight, as I desperately tried not to cry. I attempted to take deep breaths, but my chest grew tight and I wound up gasping for air.

My chest hurts...

Make it stop...

The pain spread like roots, digging deep in my veins and slowly tearing apart my insides. Something cold streaked down my cheek. I had to bite down on my tongue to keep myself from screaming.

Everything... hurts... so much...

Please... end me...

I whimpered pathetically, shaking as I held myself.

I could hear barking behind me.

I wish I could look, but every slight move I made only worsened the burning sensation searing through me. The only thing I could do is shiver helplessly on the floor and wait for the end.

I was suddenly picked up by two warm and powerful arms, and my body went limp. I opened my eyes to see a blurry image of Moony. I was gently placed on the sofa again, and swaddled by a blanket.

I could feel warmth surround me, as if I was embraced.

I shakily wiped away tears, sobs lightening up, and I could see Moony clearly again. Her pained expression caused my heart to sting.

I messed up again, per usual.

I should learn to just sit in a corner and rot. I hid my face with my hands, my heart sinking as I awaited my sentence.

"ENA, why didn't you tell me you needed something?" She said with a stern voice.

She's gonna kick me out now, I know it.

I sunk further in the blanket, refusing to look. A sigh came from her.

"I know you don't like bothering me about your problems, but you need to let me know if you need something. You could've been really hurt." I didn't hear anger in her voice. I sneaked a peek between my fingers.

The worry in her glowing features...

I sit up, removing my hands, tears welling up in my eye.

"I-I..." I clutched my head and whimpered, the agonizing sensation burning through me again. It took only moments for my senses to be overloaded.

"EENA!" She ever so lightly touched my shoulder.

It feels so warm. I don't deserve this. I want it so bad but I don't deserve any of this. Torn between two sentiments, I simply curled in on myself and held my head.

When the pain finally passed to a dull ache, I leaned back on the couch again and the soft hand went away.

"LENA, this is starting to get really bad. I think you need to see a coder." My body stiffened.

A coder? Those people that give all those strange drugs? No... No I can't, I...

I violently shake my head, but stop immediately as a sharp pain dug inside and made itself home.

"Why not? They can help with this!" She stopped, then looked away with a hand to her chin.

"... Have you ever been to one?" I lightly nod. She looked over at the stand behind me, and gabbed something. She gently placed the paper and pencil in my lap again.

"I should give you a chance to speak for yourself. I need you to tell me something first though: why were you up and about?" She asked in her more usual tone of voice, though still serious.

I forced myself upright and began to write down something, pushing myself to not worry about the cleanliness. I still tried to make neat lines with my irritatingly shaky hands, so it was at least somewhat readable. It was a continuous battle with myself no matter what I did, I suppose.

I placed down the pencil once I was finished. It looked so stupid, the quality the equivalent of a kindergartner's.

'Hungry'

It was pathetic compared to how much focus and energy I gave one little word. I acted like I was writing a book essay.

She looked at what I had written and looked at me.

I tried to read her expression as best as I could, but it was especially difficult today with the headache that stubbornly refused to leave.

The most I could register was... worry? Pity? I don't know anymore. It was not a very happy expression for sure.

"I can get it for you, just a moment." She said with a gentle voice. She walked off, grabbed the bowl, and came back at a brisk pace. It still had the spoon in it.

She kneeled next to me and put the bowl under my head. She picked up the spoon and lifted it towards my mouth. Trying to feed me like a child.

I quickly motion her to stop, turning my head away, and she lowered the utensil with a sigh.

"ENA, you need to eat." Moony said with irritation. I nodded.

I am aware of that. But not like... that. I stared intensely at the silver object in Moony's hand.

I moved to grab the utensil, only for her to pull the meal away entirely.

"No, you can't feed yourself. Not yet at least." I crossed my arms and huffed.

I can feed myself! You just refuse to let me. I would say these words to her, but they remain stuck in my head today due to my voice malfunctioning.

Moony seems to have sensed my desire, and took a pause to ponder. Her face lit up and she looked at me with confidence.

"I've got an idea! You can do a challenge. You up for that?" She said with an eager tone of voice, giving me a playful grin.

I perked up from the idea, a sudden burst of energy pounding in my chest.

A challenge! How exciting! I clapped rapidly. At least, as rapidly as I could without straining myself.

Her challenges are always so fun!

Her smile widened a little more, her eye sparkling with excitement. My chest feels a little fuzzy...

"Here's your challenge: if you can hold your arms out without shaking, I'll give you the soup and you can eat it yourself. If you can't do that, then I'll do it for you."

That is all? This shall be easy, just hold my arms out and keep them still.

I lift my arms with some effort, and kept them as still as possible.

This... was not how I planned this would proceed. They were shaking wildly, no matter how hard I focused. I grabbed one of them, but they continued to quiver and grew sore from being in the air. I lifted them above me, and the shaking seemed to lighten.

I looked at her with sparkling eyes, gesturing at what I did.

Moony chuckled a bit, causing some of my energy to leave, and I tilted my head. What was the laughter for?

"You're gonna eat soup above you?" It took a moment, but eventually the rain rock hit the ground. I blushed from the implication of my actions, and lowered my arms to my chest.

How silly of me! No one eats soup above them, the bowl would land on their face!

I put them out front again, trying to keep them still with new methods. Methods that failed in one way or another.

I quickly set down my arms and sighed; far too exhausted, hungry, and in pain to keep up this uphill battle.

Moony gently stroked my head a few times.

"Hey, it's alright. I get to be with you more. That's always nice, right?" She said comfortingly, her expression soft and caring.

The fuzzy feeling returned to my chest, and I smiled weakly.

My insides weren't aching like earlier. Instead, there was a light fluttering sensation. Almost like I was weightless.

Perhaps losing this challenge was the better outcome this time.

She eventually motioned Moony to stop, and the spoon was placed down in the bowl. It was nearly drained of its content; only having a few noodles and a couple chunks of chicken, with some broth left.

ENA yawned and stretched, then gave Buttercup a welcoming pat onto the couch. The yellow pup hopped up and leaned against the picasso woman, laying right next to her.

Moony gently pet the pup on the head.

"You in any pain?" Moony asked. The other nodded, rubbing her eyes.

Moony stood up with the bowl and walked off to place it in the fridge, then went to the changing room. She went over to a mirror and opened it up, showing the different medicines and makeup she had inside. There was a bottle that had a plain blue label that said 'Anti-Pain Pills', with the back having: '1 pill for 20-199 lbs', '2 pills for 200-559 lbs', '3 pills for 560-800 lbs'.

Not too fancy, but it gets the job done. Not only that, but she personally remembers that it had reduced fever in the past.

I really need to get her temperature. Moony thought to herself, pouring two pills out into her hand.

She left the room and went to her bag, digging through it until she found the thermometer. She went to ENA, and placed it on their warm forehead. Pressing a button down, she waited until the device beeped several times to remove it.

It took everything in her to not shout at what she saw:

86.4 F°

86. 86. Never, and she means never, in her life has she seen a fever get this bad.

And she's been through some rough fevers too.

She's been through 83 and 84, but not freaking 86! Everything was getting worse the more time passed.

She took a deep breath, and let it out.

Don't freak out, Moony. She needs you to be calm here. Just give her the pills and some water, that will help reduce the fever. She internally told herself, stern and serious.

"Moony?" ENA asked, her weak voice emanating confusion and exhaustion.

The one mentioned snapped to attention, staring a moment. She shook off the shock and spoke as relaxed a fashion as possible;

"Don't worry, it's not something for you to worry about. Just let me deal with it." She walked off and put away the thermometer in the changing room, in the mirror's hidden compartment.

After shutting it, she walked off and grabbed a clean cup to fill it with water.

Something caught her eye. There was a block containing a collection of sharp knives on the counter, which was where they always were.

At first, she paid no mind. But the more she thought about it...

She should probably move them.

She placed the cup down and picked up the block, looking around for an obscure spot. The top of the fridge seemed like a good place, high up and out of sight for the most part. She floated up and placed them there, pushing them as far back as possible.

She stood on the ground and took up the cup again, and filled it with fresh water. She went over to ENA and was about to give the cup and pills to them but...

"Before I give this to you, can you lift up your arms a moment? Just to check?" Moony asked nervously.

The other nodded, and lifted her arms slowly. They were slightly less shaky than earlier. Slightly.

"Here, these should help with the pain and fever." Moony promptly placed the pills in the dual colored woman's hand, and waited with the cup.

ENA stared at the tiny tablets, then looked at her friend. The other patiently cajoled her forward, and she quickly consumed them.

Moony held out the water in gesture, and the dual colored woman gabbed onto it weakly. Moony assisted ENA with drinking the fluid, leaning the cup carefully until the other motioned to stop.

Pulling away the cup, she saw that her sick friend had nearly downed the whole thing.

"I'll get you some more and leave it out for you." Moony got up again and refilled the tiny container, then placed it on the stand behind ENA.

"I should get you a cool pack as well..." She mumbled to herself, and looked at her friend from the corner of her eye. ENA was tilting her head with innocent eyes.

"It's important, trust me." Moony went off to get an empty pack, then grabbed a bag of ice from the freezer. She poured some ice into the pack and placed the cold pack on the other's stomach, the blanket acting as a barrier from freezing.

She gave her best friend a gentle pat on her head.

"You should really get some sleep now." Moony began to walk off, until a hand grabbed her arm. She looked to see ENA giving her... those eyes.

Those soft, downhearted eyes that she only used when she wanted something desperately from Moony. It was painful to see them.

She turned back and kneeled next to her friend.

"ENA, you don't need to do that. You can tell me what you want." She said softly.

ENA pulled the hand to her head. The moon friend could tell what she was saying in an instant.

Moony began to gently scratch ENA's head slowly, soothing the dual colored companion as her eyes grew heavier. She laid back down on the sofa, her body loosening up. The moon woman used her free hand to tuck her friend in once again, placing the washcloth on their head, with Buttercup silently sleeping under the covers.

She continued her stroking, beginning to hum a quiet tune from memory.

All was quiet, just the sound of a sweet song in the air. The false stars above sparkled, like dust from the Lullaby Songbird's wings. ENA yawned, spreading her body as she drifted into quiet slumber...

...

The moon woman slowed her scratching, and removed her hand.

No reaction.

She gradually lifted herself off the ground and backed away, carefully opening her bedroom door. The hinges creaked.

Slight shuffling, but no signs of awareness otherwise.

She released a breath she didn't know she was holding, and retreated into her room. It just had a bed with a nightstand and drawers, along with her work desk. Not much, but it works.

She looked over at her bed.

She didn't need sleep like ENA did, even when the goofball was well, but she certainly was worn out from the day. To think sleep was so foreign to her when she first came.

She lowered herself until she was standing on the ground again, and went back to the bill sitting on her desk. Even with a sick friend, she has work to do.

What should I do afterwards? Perhaps I should go out?

She immediately shook her head.

No, definitely not. Not with INA so sick.

She's too fragile, too prec vulnerable.

And I have to be quiet, she needs all the sleep she can get.

Plus I still need to call my coder and see if he's willing to have an appointment for ENA.

She laid her head on the desk, letting out a deep sigh. Her head was starting to hurt.

Perhaps I'll get some sleep myself once I'm done.

---

 

I am standing in the middle of some kind of pristine white hallway, the high walls having many gorgeous tall windows. It is difficult to tell what is beyond them, as the light outside is unbelievably bright. Almost painfully so, one might say.

Amongst the pure cleanliness were beautiful specks and lines of color, carefully embedded in the architecture. It continued on as an eternal pattern, loving devotion placed with each stone and stroke. On the center of the floor was a symbol, a tear drop with a line on top and lines sticking outward. They were all neatly lined in a row.

I looked directly forward. The hallway seemed to continue on endlessly into a white foggy void. I start walking forward.

This place...

It feels so askew...

Are the walls getting taller?

I turn to look behind. Just the same unclear abyss from the front.

Or was where I looking previously the back? Who even knows anymore.

Looking around, the room seemed to be getting larger. Dauntingly large even. I was nothing more than a parasitic insect within these glowing walls.

I looked down at myself, wearing an off-white shirt and black suspender-skirt, with black socks that were at uneven heights on my legs. I was a filthy pest scurrying within a beloved home.

I stopped in place.

Screaming. In the distance. Seemingly everywhere and nowhere.

Shivers went down my spine.

That might happen to me, soon.

I turn around, heart pounding to run at the highest speed possible, only to stand before a wall with an elaborate stained glass window.

It was depicting a sacred figure, hung with barbed wire. The followers below were shedding tears for the holy vessel.

Guilt ran through me.

All that sacrifice, a precious gift from them, and I was wasting it.

At the top of the mural was a single eye, staring straight ahead. Rays of gold spread from it to the saint below, shinning them in sacred light.

The eye looked at me.

I quivered as I stepped away, only to bump into something. I quickly moved away and turned around, then froze in place.

Oh no.

The being was towering, even in their hunched over state, though they were a pristine white. Their unruly dark brown hair went all the way to the floor. The white robes made it difficult to tell, but something inside was telling me that they were female. Their pure white face had a yellow split down the middle, with the whites of their eyes being black with yellow irises.

Even with the distance between us, I could tell that the being must have been drinking heavily recently. One of their hands was holding a bottle.

The wrath in their eyes...

Feels like my soul is being scorched.

I could hear them growl as they drooled, their mouth containing jagged blades.

"You are in big trouble young lady." Their feminine voice was low and vicious, emanating malicious intent.

They raised their blunt weapon high in the air...

Run

I darted to the side, a new hall suddenly there, and entered the maze of corridors.

Glass was shattered, and everything turned red. The being was trailing shortly behind, distorted voice roaring. Footsteps thundered and shook the earth.

"GET BACK HERE! YOU ARE GOING TO BE SORRY WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU!"

I did everything in my ability to get away amidst the twisting and turning, pushing myself to my limits. All the while, the monster continued to screech out threats.

The running seemed to last forever, until a four way crossing appeared.

After going straight, I dodged to the side and pressed against the wall. The creature stumbled and fell from trying to stop, allowing me to backtrack past a nearby corner.

"YOU DAMN BRAT, YOU OUGHT TO DIE FOR THIS!" Sticking close to the wall, I noticed a small wooden door. I swiftly went over to it and entered, shutting the door as I heard the glowing entity stomping over.

The room I entered seems to be a dark storage closet, filled with a variety of items. I noticed what seemed to be a man hiding amidst the things, with a look of terror upon their face.

They were a similar white like the pursuer, but were tiny in comparison with no colored split. They also lacked a mouth and had blue irises instead of yellow, along with chin-length black hair that was well kept.

They were covered in bruises and cuts, static ichor bleeding out of the open wounds.

They gestured to a pile of unorganized tarps, and I made haste to immerse myself in them. I adjusted myself into the heavy covers, until the door was slammed open.

All was still.

Growling emanated from the monster. Their steps were quiet, a predator stalking for helpless victims.

"You can't hide forever. I will always find you, child."

Wood sliding against each other, before silence settled again. There was ruffling of some kind.

A loud bang right next to me. I jolted in place, shrinking further into hiding.

The footsteps came closer.

"When I get my hands on you..." It was low and quiet. They were too close.

I held my breath.

My heart was pounding in my ears.

I could feel them standing above me, their hand just centimeters away from touching the covers. They were staring me down...

...

I heard sliding against plastic. A touch, which slowly crept up my back until-

The tarps flew off as I was yanked off the ground by the back of my collar. I could only quiver, whimpering as the glowing being stared me down.

"Don't whine. You brought this upon yourself." I was thrown to the ground, and slammed against a wall. I groaned as I struggled to get on my hands, shaking from the aching feeling all through out my body.

I looked up, seeing the yellow monster come closer with a belt in hand. I noticed the blue person was still here, who watched from their hiding place. I reached out to them, before receiving a blow to my side.

I screamed from the sharp pain produced, causing me to collapse to the ground again.

I held myself and cried quietly, a burning sensation lingering.

A lash struck my head.

"Shut up, you useless thing! All you ever do is cry!" I tried to choke down the sobs, but all attempts caused them to come louder.

A blunt hit right below my midsection, sending waves of agony tearing through my body. I could feel ichor rising from inside, and placed my hands on my mouth.

"Your such a pathetic embarrassment of an heir. I should have just eliminated you the moment you disobeyed me!" A hard strike to my chest. A horrendous scream bellowed from me.

---

 

I suddenly jolt upright, huffing heavily. I look around at the area to see that I was alone, standing in front of a large gate. A sigh of relief escapes my chest.

Further looking at the details, the walls were plain white with colored specks and streaks. Up against the walls were simple wooden stands, and on each of them was a lacy cloth covering and a rusting fancy candle stand. Each of the stands held one golden candle that served as light.

Looking back at the entryway, it was a pure white with golden lining. The door knobs and locks were rusting, though gold plated with shine to it.

Looking down at myself, I noticed I was now wearing a fancy looking dress and shoes. They were a pure white with lacy designs, along with white gloves that went up to my shoulders. My socks were the same pure color and covered the entirety of my legs.

The only skin that could be seen was my shoulders and my face, which was partially covered by a masquerade mask.

Looking ahead again, I could hear conversations on the other side. I take a deep breath.

Do not think about them, do not look at them. Just focus on your search, and you will find him with no difficulties.

I move forward, and the doors opened to reveal a luxurious ballroom. It had two enormous chandeliers, with many crystals neatly attached to them, holding many golden candles. All around the room were the same candles on gorgeous holders, high above the ground.

There were many beautifully dressed people in the room.

Too many.

I look down quickly, avoiding all eye contact. No one seemed to notice me.

My heart rate was rising far too high for something so simple. Why do I feel like screaming and running? It feels like the area is squeezing on me.

I shook my head, trying to steady my breathing.

Find him. Find him, and you can go home.

I looked up only slightly to search for the familiar face, or just even a trace of blue. I avoided looking directly up at anyone, especially the face. My body feels shaky.

My stomach is starting to churn, foreseeing the possible futures. All eyes on me, filled with mockery and contempt. They would laugh at me like I was a joke.

Who am I kidding? I am a joke. I can barely handle a simple party without feeling like I'm about to break down into tears. Everyone else can do this so easily, yet I can't.

I'm such a disappointment. I'm sure father sees me as one, too. I know mother does.

Someone catches my attention.

That's not father.

Instead, I was looking at a blank feminine mannequin with eyes.

Eyes. I've been noticed.

The others turned towards me, more piercing gold eyes staring at me. I turn to run the other direction, only to see more of the golden glow.

Surrounded. My chest was growing tight. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. I could feel static starting to streak down my cheek.

They were getting closer.

"What's wrong with her?"

"Is she crying?"

"What a freak!"

They were talking about me. They were only whispers, but I still heard them. They acted like I wouldn't, but I did.

They think I'm too stupid to understand them. It's probably true.

It was all becoming incoherent, mixing together and growing deafeningly loud.

There was laughing. Shouting.

Someone pulled at my arm. I yanked out of their grip with a whimper.

"Hey, look! The town baby's about ta cry again!" Someone shouted. Everyone burst into laughter.

It's so loud. My head hurts.

I covered my ears. It didn't help.

I begin sobbing, crying out;

"DAAAAAD! PWEASE, HEWP ME!" I looked all around, but I couldn't see him. There was ringing in my ears.

Did he already leave? Is he ashamed of me? I don't blame him. I would be ashamed of me too. I'm already ashamed of me.

I start pounding my head with one hand, and tugging my hair with the other. The laughter turned into shouts of disapproval.

"Stop that!"

"You're causing a scene!"

"Enough of the temper tantrums!"

"Aren't you an adult now!?"

They were all true, slicing into my core. But I can't stop, even if I wanted to.

They mixed together, turning into glitching screams and shouts. They threw all kinds of names, from mild to vulgar. They all hurt to hear.

Everything was going dark, the scenery warping into a black void filled with eyes.

"Hold her down." A woman said sternly.

I was knocked forward to the ground, and my chest squeezed.

Physically.

A hand was pressing down on my back, forcing my breaths to be shallow. I tried to get up, only for more hands to press down. Including on my skull.

I was being crushed. I couldn't breath.

I saw a light.

Looking ahead, I saw a familiar grey figure. Their back was towards me, but I recognized their figure. They were glowing, like a celestial body would at night.

"M-moowny!" I coughed, voice strangled. She started to walk away.

"I-I need hewp! Pwease, I know I can be stupi an usewess, but I pwomise I wiww get bettew!" I cried at the top of my voice, broken up by gasps and sobs. She stopped a moment.

...

And then kept walking.

A door opened in front of her, pouring out a blinding white light. My breath hitched.

"W-wait! Don't go! I'm sowwy I'm a bad fwiend, but pwease!" I fought against the restraint, no matter how much it hurt.

I need her, she's all I have. I know I'll wind up alone some day, but not today! Please! I'm not ready, I'm not ready! Please-

I managed to push myself off the floor enough to reach out to her.

"PWEASE DON'T GO!"

She stopped right at the entryway.

...

...

"Pwease..."

...

She disappeared into the light, and the door slammed shut.

She left. She left she left she left, I'm all alone now.

A silent sob escaped my lips. I wiped away the static streaking down my cheek, and slowly opened my eyes.

The walls and ceiling were a deep dark blue with specks of white, and the white line pattern on the ceiling resembled bricks. The floor was grey with circular patterns to resemble craters.

I looked over at a door, and slowly shifted to get up. I looked inside the room, hinges creaking slightly, and found that it was likely Moony's.

Mainly because there was a bed, and she was fast asleep in it. Wearing a loose, long sleeved grey shirt with black pants.

I closed the door, leaving it only a crack open.

I took deep breaths, scratching at my wrists. My limbs were shaking.

It was all a dream.

Of course it was a dream, what made you think any of it was real? You're not there anymore, you imbecile.

I shivered, and breathed as deeply as possible. So deep that it was painful.

I went back to drink the cup of water Moony left me. I carefully picked it up, and moved as slowly as possible.

I wound up spilling some droplets on the floor right when it was about to reach my lips.

Honestly, you're so stupid sometimes. You can barely function without needing to be pandered to.

No matter how hard you try to be the cheerful young woman everyone expects, you will always be too weak to even begin to be one. You're nothing more than a child.

A worthless, useless, poisonous parasite of a child.

I took a few gulps, and quickly put it down. I went over to the kitchen, and started searching around the counter.

I know there was something sharp here. I need it, just for a little bit.

I looked up at the fridge. She was messing with something at the top at one point.

I stretched my head to look farther above, and found a whole collection of blades shoved in the back. I reach an arm and grab one, then set my limbs back to their regular position.

You promised yourself. And now you're going to break it. Like how you watched the thousands of other people break. You deserve everything that's happened to you.

I headed to the changing room, and shut the door behind me.

---

 

My door creaked open, waking me from my light doze. Something waddled up to my bed, and came close.

They nudged my head. I tried to shoo them away.

Then they licked my cheek, causing me to chuckle and push them back. I sat up to see that Buttercup had managed to get into my room.

By themselves from the looks of it. The door seemed to have been pushed open.

"Buttercup, what are you doing in my room? I thought you were sleeping with MENA!" I quietly ask her in a lighthearted voice.

Buttercup turned and whined, looking at me and the door. Her expression was filled with concern.

It took a few seconds, but eventually it hit me cold in the face. That was enough to wake me up.

"Show me where ENA is." I said in a serious tone, getting out of bed.

I recognize the pup's motions from before, and EENA collapsed then. I can only imagine what terrible things could've happened to her.

Did she get hurt? Did she leave? I knew I should have told her not to leave earlier! Oh dear RUNAS, please be okay!

I was led to the changing room. Buttercup scratched at the door.

"P-pwease, go away. Just... in a b-bit." Her voice was fragile and shaky.

She squeaked quietly, and sniffled.

My stomach was starting to twist itself.

This is going to end badly...

"JENA? You in there?" I asked in my best casual voice, knocking on the door. Should I even be doing this..?

She softly gasped, and a barely heard clink sounded. There was shuffling a while, and the door creaked open.

She stood in front of me with a wide smile plastered on her face. Both of her hands were behind herself.

"Hey, something going on? Couldn't help but notice you were up and about."

"My apologies, my dearest friend!" She said in a bright voice, keeping her head at a tilt while her eyes gleamed at me.

"I simply grew curious and wanted to see more of your wondrous abode." She gestured to the surroundings with her head, always looking directly into my eyes when she finished.

"Alright then, you want me to show you around? I doubt there's a lot of 'house' to see."

"N-no! No, my physical form is doing quite well my closest compadre!" She went around me with her back away. Even when she went completely around, she only backed away with a smile so wide you'd think she was from one of those horror stories you hear about from those really far corners of the world.

"What ya got there?" I asked. She stiffened, freezing in place.

"Can I see?" I came closer. She shifted and straightened herself, pressing her limbs together.

I crossed my arms, furrowing my brow.

"Show me what you're holding." I asked more sternly. She showed her left hand, which contained nothing.

"Your other hand." She switched from her left to her right, which also contained nothing.

I stared directly into her eyes, seeing her breath just a little too hard as the hidden emotions boiled just under the surface.

I quietly sigh to myself.

"Show me both of your hands." She faltered, sending both hands back into hiding.

She turned her head away completely, looking in every direction except towards me. She dropped the mask.

I turned away.

Maybe... Maybe I'm being too hard on her. Maybe I should leave her alone.

Something is clearly wrong though! She's hiding something, something that might hurt her.

She seems so upset though... Maybe...

She won't listen. I know she won't. But...

I look back at her with a softened expression. I'm not sure if I can physically do this, even, but I have to. I've kept quiet for too long.

I let my arms unfold, and change to messing with my hands. I turned back towards her and spoke in the softest manner I could;

"ENA... I know you don't like talking about the bad things, but... You can tell me anything. You know that, right?" She wouldn't look.

"And... even if you screw up, or get yourself into trouble, or manage to get stuck in the middle of nowhere... I'll still be here for you." Tears started pricking her eyes, her head lowering.

Of course, what did I expect all of this would do? Magically make her open up? I just wish she would just... just...

"I know you think I'm lying to you, but I swear I'm not." I look away, continuing;

"I mean... It's not like I can force you to believe. It's just that..." I could feel my hands start to tremble. I clamp them together.

"I'm... I'm really worried about you ENAA. Really, really worried. I've never seen you this sick. Ever. And now, you're collapsing, and passing out, and getting up with a high fever and..." My throat started closing up, static beginning to cloud my vision. I shut my eye and suck in a breath.

Don't break down Moony. You need to stay strong for her. You're better than this.

I open my eye, staring at the ground. I'm holding myself tightly, in a desperate attempt to keep myself from falling apart.

"I'm... I don't, want, to lose you. You're the only real friend I've had in... a long time. And, I don't... I'm not ready to be alone yet." I take another deep breath, and glance at her.

She was looking. I should shut my trap now.

"I want to be there for you. So please, just tell me what's wrong, and I promise I will be there. No matter what." I wipe away the tear pricking at my eye still.

Jeez, that was alota stupid garbage. I can't believe how stupid I am to think any of this would work. I mean, it's not like... she...

My eye widened, seeing her hands slowly move from behind her back. And in them, was a knife.

Stained with ichor.

She held it out to me, her right side turned white with a blue iris.

Delicately, I reached out and took the blade from her hands. I looked it over, seeing the blood flicker its monochrome colors.

"INA... What..." I turned my gaze to her. I didn't need to say the rest.

Slowly, she lifted her sleeve and showed her bandaged shoulder. I put aside the knife on the counter, and held her wounded part as if it would crumble any second.

The bandage was clearly used many times before, covered in stains and dirt, the newest one flashing the full grey spectrum.

"Did you treat this?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. She looked away, shaking her head slowly.

I let go and walked away, putting the knife in the sink, and grabbed a clean washcloth from a drawer.

I went to the mirror and grabbed a dark brown bottle that contained rubbing alcohol. I poured some on the rag, allowing it to become damp.

I went back to her, who seemed to be deep in a staring contest with the floor. Holding herself with uneven breaths.

I went over and gently nudged the uninjured part of her arm.

"Hey. I'm gonna treat your wounds, alright?" She seemed to contemplate a moment, then retreated into her shirt to remove it. Underneath the off white clothing was a grey tank top, along with more old bandages along the shoulders.

I undid each one, and revealed what looked to be a long history of scars. Many of them appeared to be long closed up, leaving only darkened parallel streaks, but there was a small set of new ones that was still bleeding.

"This will hurt, but only a little bit. I'll try to treat them quickly." She shakily held out her arm, looking away and closing her eyes.

I used the rag to press on the new wounds, careful to not cause too much of a burning sensation. After treating both shoulders, I tossed the rag onto the counter and lightly grasp her hand.

"Let's get you some new bandages." She seemed to have calmed, her blue and yellow coloration returned.

I lead her to the changing room again, and open the mirror. After grabbing some clean gauze and wrapping, I carefully encased the wounded parts until there were no more grey lines seen.

After tying the last one, I looked directly in her eyes. They had heavy bags and were fluttering open and closed. I carefully weaved my fingers between hers, and give her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." She nodded once.

I led her out and shut the door, then sat her down on the couch. I went off to clean the blade, and put it away with the others.

I looked over at RENA, who was watching me sleepily.

"Can you stop looking at me?" I say irritably, looking away and crossing my arms.

Please look away, I can't let you hurt yourself again. I know I failed you before, but let me try again. Let me do better. For you.

A quick glance confirmed that she averted her gaze, looking down at the pup in her lap. She was petting the soft fur, her eyes lacking life.

I could feel something beginning to crack. She never gets this drained, or this beaten down.

I shake my head. Gotta focus.

I quickly float up and grab the knife block. I look around, and pick a cabinet.

Opening it up showed a bunch of stuff that I rarely use, with the top being cluttered with a collection of duplicate cooking utensils.

I carefully levitate the materials and shove them aside with an arm, making sure I don't make too much of a racket with them, and push the block into the very back. I jumbled the items as best as I could to hide it from sight. I then let go of them, releasing quiet clicks as they fell at the same time.

I shut the cabinet and float down, looking over at ENA again. Her head bobbed low with her eyes shut, starting to slouch forwards.

I came closer and placed a hand on her shoulder, which caused her to jolt. She looked up with glossy eyes.

"Oh, hi." She said, voice barely even heard. I gently try pushing her into laying down, and she proceeded to place her head on my arm.

I roll my eye. She's oddly touchy today for someone who isn't fond of it.

"Come on, lay down. You need to sleep. We have a very important appointment tomorrow." Her eyes snapped open the moment she heard appointment.

She looked up at me and leaned away, her breathing borderline gasping in a heartbeat. Buttercup stood up and looked up at her.

"A-appwointment?" Her fragile voice stuttered out. She flashed white a frame.

"Don't worry, they're a really good coder. Trust me, I've met them." I placed a hand on her head and began scratching.

She looked away, staring at the floor as her eyes flickered between shades and tints, until she closed her eyes and let out a long sigh. She leaned into my hand.

"Okay." She mumbled, Buttercup laying down and relaxing. I took my hand off and backed up a step.

She jolted up the moment my foot touch down, and stared at me with wide eyes. Buttercup was doing something similar, though with a much more gentle look.

We were as still as the worlds, staring at each other.

I clear my throat, breaking the unbearable silence before it breaks me.

"Well, since it'll be tomorrow, you'll probably need lots of rest." I said loosely as I headed for my room.

"I'll be in my room if you need me. And don't worry about waking me up, it's never an issue in the most literal sense." I was about to enter, until my arm was suddenly caught in a vice grip.

Looking down, both of her arms were clutching me as if I was about to rob from a colony of fire ants. They were shaking hard, almost vibrating in a sense.

It didn't take an expert to tell what the deep blue iris meant in this moment.

"ANA? What's the matter bud?" I turned towards her.

She suddenly yanked my arm, causing me to nearly fall forward. I keep forgetting that she can have the strength to carry several dozen times her weight.

She kept pulling my arm until I stood beside her.

"Is there something you need to tell me? I can't do anything unless you tell me what's wrong." Fear is starting to leak into my voice.

She pulled my arm into a tight hug.

"Don weave me."

My eye widened.

"I'm not... You can sleep with me. If you want to."

Okay, when was that an option? Are you seriously going to let her sleep in bed with you like some sappy couple?

She looked up at me, tears pricking at her eye.

"Weawwy?"

Yes. As friends, of course. Just until she's better. I nodded, wiping away the tear with my other hand.

She let go of my arm, and held my hand. Her grasp was tight, the shivering only barely remaining.

She stood up, the yellow pup jumping off her lap, and kept close. She used her other arm to scoop up the pillows and blanket, bringing them with her.

I led her to my room and let her sit down on my bed, letting her drop the items. Buttercup followed in and jumped up into her lap, and she took the pup into her arms.

Okay, that's adorable.

KENA's eyes lit up suddenly.

"Wait, I have no resting clothing in my possession here! Unless, maybe, you brought them without my knowledge..?" I shook my head.

"No. I kind of... I just tried to get you here." Her eyes wandered around the room.

Maybe I should... lend her something.

I dunno what she likes though.

Then ask her, you idiot!

They're probably not in her size thought.

Then ask her if she doesn't mind! Open your trap and ASK!

"Ehm, ENA?" She snapped to attention the moment she heard her name.

"You can use one of mine, if you want to." Her face deepened in color, and turned her head.

"I-I accept your offer, my closest associate." She started combing her hair with her left hand. I did my best to not seem too pleased.

Which was really freaking hard with how cute ENNA was being.

I took a deep breath and went over to the door, only to hear a breath hitch. I look behind me.

The same look of terror is on her face again, hugging Buttercup tightly. The pup was on their hind legs, nudging her head.

"Don't worry, I'll be back. I promise." She hesitantly nodded.

I was quick in my trip to the changing room, grabbing a set of clothes that looked like they would fit best and felt the softest. I then moved fast as I could to her, carrying them in my arms.

When I returned, she was breathing heavily with her face pale again. Buttercup was gently licking her shoulder.

"Hey, I'm back." She snapped back, and her colors returned to normal. The pup stopped licking and laid down as she was let go. I came over with the soft clothing, both shades of grey, and held them out to her.

She grabbed them and lifted the shirt up, showing its full size.

It was big. Probably too big.

She put her arms around it, feeling the fabric, and rubbed it against her cheek.

"Thank you, Moony. This is very generous of you." She said softly, completely entranced by the clothing in her arms.

Wish she would what is wrong with me today? First I whine like a baby, then I let her sleep in my bed, and now I want to hold her in my arms.

Just me and her. Together. Warm and safe, nuzzling into my chest.

"Are you alright, my dear chum?" Her voice broke into my thoughts, and I shook my head to push back the strange strange thoughts. Guess I really need some sleep too.

"Uh, yeah, yeah why wouldn't I be?" I say casually, giving an awkward smile. I really hope my colors aren't showing...

"You were staring at me with a very strange expression. Happy, but strange.

Also, you appear to have altered your color to be of a pink hue. Is that intentional?" Looking down, my skin was now a light pink.

Shoot.

"Yeah, it is! It's perfectly fine." I say as casually as possible. It sounded so awkward and forced, I'm pretty sure that even ONA could tell I was fibbing.

The look she was giving certainly said so.

"If that's the case, then... I should really change out. I am unsure if I can get to the changing room on my own though. I feel so tired..." Her voice grew softer as she spoke, sighing at the end.

"Why not here?" I stated simply. She whipped her head up at me, completely flabbergasted.

"Why!? Because its not where we're supposed to change! Why else would it be called a 'changing room'?"

"Yeah but, you said weren't sure you could get there and you seem pretty tired so... I'm sure one little time wouldn't hurt." She nodded as she listened. I could basically see the loading bar fill in her eyes.

She looked down a moment, then looked up at me.

"Alright, j-just... turn around while I change garments." She said nervously, her face flushing as she messed with the shirt in her hands.

I nodded, turning around and covering my eye.

There was a soft thud and shuffling for a while. I stayed as I was until my name was called.

I turned around and... now my heart's about to burst.

She's just... so cute! The shirt is oversized, but seems so snug in its looseness. The pants were the kind you can tighten and tie up, which seemed to still be a little loose on her. At least they aren't falling off like I worried.

She definitely doesn't seem bothered as well, wearing a small smile.

She crawled into bed, the shirt draping down. She grabbed the pillows and blanket she left on the bed and made a little nest for herself. She flopped in it, shifting until she was comfortable. Buttercup laid next to her and snuggled in.

After a quick stretch, I joined her on the other side and pulled the covers up. I tucked her and the pup in again, then got comfortable myself.

She was staring at the ceiling. Thinking.

At least, it seems that way. She always stares intensely when she thinks really hard.

"Something on your mind?" She glanced at me, staying quiet.

"You don't have to tell me, just wondering." I close my eye in an attempt to sleep. Probably won't get anything out tonight after what happened already.

"... Do you ever miss people... who hurt you?" Her voice broke the silence. I open my eye and look towards her.

Her expression was somber, staring distantly at the stars. I join her.

Not a word.

No. She asked, so she should know.

You know better than to be weak. You already did it once, you definitely shouldn't do it again.

She's my best friend, this is different.

You always said that with them. With her. And look where that leads you.

...

The question lingered still, but I make no sound. I keep my focus on the ceiling.

It was dotted with dozens and dozens of white spots to resemble stars. A familiar view that always put me at ease when stressed.

I could feel my eye grow heavy again, my body growing loose and light. I let the odd sensation of falling unconscious take over, the world turning dark again.

A soft touch to my hand. It feels nice.

Ughhhh, I'm too tired to wake up.

I huffed to myself and turned my head to the side. Just a few more minuets...

I heard... crying.

I opened my eyes, looking down to see EENA up against me. Clinging to my stomach. Her breathing was uneven and shallow, half her face being pale. She was whispering out something.

"M-moowny... Don't, d-don't go..." I tense up, nudging her lightly.

"JENA? JENA. JENA, wake up." She gasped, squeezing me tightly. She remained silent, heaving deeply as she stared at a wall.

"ANA, you okay?" She looked up at me, terror in her deep blue eye. Shaking still.

"Moowny! Pwease, pwease don go! I pwomise I'ww be a good girw, jus pwease don weave me again!" She squeezed me even harder. Making it almost impossible to speak. She buried her face into me, hiding her expression from sight.

"ENA. You're... squeezing... me." I managed to choke out.

She didn't seem to hear me though, gripping me tightly still. I pat her back a few times slowly.

Uhhhh say something.

Should I? She seems pretty scared...

Say something to comfort her!

Then what do I say? I'm not the softie type!

Just, say something nice! Anything!

Okay, uhhhhh-

"There, there?" I placed my hand on her back and rubbed her in repetitive motions.

She slowly lost her vice grip as her breathing slowed. She removed her head to cough in her arm a bit and looked at me. Freezing a moment.

She scrambled back, mumbling incoherently with a distorted voice. All I could make out was vague apologies.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" I quickly grabbed her shoulders before she fell off the bed. She pushed away my hands, but stayed in place.

"Wha-"

"I'm sowwy Moowny! I-I didn mean t-to- pwease don be sick!" She blurted out.

"Hey, calm down, I'm right here. You're alright." She gradually began taking deep breaths, and her breathing evened out.

Buttercup leaned against her stomach, snuggling against her. She placed her hand on her fur for comfort.

"What happened? You were all shaky and mumbly while you were asleep." She stared at me, then switched to the wall again.

Her breath hitched. Then tears swelled. Then-

I moved closer, only for her to frantically wave me away through tears.

"What's wrong? Please, just tell me." She looked down at nothing, biting on a finger. Breathing unevenly as static flowed down her cheek.

"I..." She turned away, staring down at the bed.

I placed a hand on her shoulder. She glanced at me.

"It's alright. I won't judge." She looked over at the wall again, and took a deep breath. Her colors switched back to normal.

"I... had a nightmare about you. An awful one. I... I don't feel like talking about it." She mumbled, rubbing her right wrist. I gave her a gentle squeeze.

"That's alright." Her shoulders lowered as her eyelids closed.

...

What now? What should I say?

'You'll always have me'?

No, that's too corny! She'd only make fun of me for something like that.

Darn it, why am I even doing this!? I'm tough as nails, this shouldn't even be in my head!

I felt a hand touch my arm.

"Will you stay with me, just until I have recovered enough?" I gave a small smile, nudging her slightly.

"Sure thing, buddy." She sighed and tried to distance herself some more.

Right over the edge of the bed.

Before she could even come close to the floor, I catch her.

We stiffened, and a warmth overtook my face.

My hands were holding her from the upper and lower parts of her back, which had sharp edges. She was surprisingly squishy from how she looks, but I can be pretty solid compared to my round form so that should kind of be expected. She was staring at me.

Her colors were back to blue and yellow, seemingly on her yellow side. But I know well that she can be upset while on her yellow side at the same time.

The blush overwhelmed her cheeks, pupils growing in size. The left of her face turning a pink coloration.

I hurriedly pull her up onto the bed, crossed my arms and gave my best stern look.

"W-watch where your going! Next time I-" She leaned on me and pressed against my cheek, giving a soft peck. That was enough to shut me up.

And completely short circuit as well. Sending my mind into a buzzing bliss only to melt into a goopy mess, all mixed into strange feelings.

The most I recognized was... her.

And I just realized how close she is. Is this still platonic? Does she even realize what she's doing? Am I reading too far into things? I mean, does she-

She's waving a hand in front of me. Oh geez, did I zone out? I shook my head.

"W-wha?"

"You were doing that queer staring again. Did I do something wrong? Are you becoming ill as well?" Oh sh-

"Nononononono, no! I'm certain I'm not anywhere close to sick. I'm as tough as rock when it comes to that!" I gave a light pound on my chest.

She was giving a wary look still.

"Are you sure? I hope I did not trespass any boundaries either, dearest Moony." I rolled my eye.

"You get too worried over things sometimes. I'm fine, I'm sure of it. And what you did was fine, I guess." She lingered, then slowly backed away. I'm tempted to lift her up again and-

Whyyyy am I being so weird lately!? I stretched, trying to avoid acting out the strange thoughts that keep cropping up.

I decided I would check the time, grabbing my phone from its charger. Feels like it should be morning.

I looked at the clock when it turned on.

6:27

"Welp, it's close enough to morning. You should get ready to head out." She looked over at me with confusion.

"What is happening today?" A sigh escapes my lips.

"The appointment?" She stared a few moments, before it clicks and pulls her knees close. Trembling again. Buttercup moved to nuzzle against her leg.

I place a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, it's gonna be fine. It'll pass by so fast, you won't even realize it happened!" She grabs my hand with two of hers, and squeezes tightly. She's so small compared to me.

"Pwease, pwease don weave me!" She nearly sobbed, heaving heavily. I give a gentle squeeze back.

"I'll be right beside you the whole time. I doubt you could get anywhere without help anyway." Her grip loosened slightly.

"Pwomise?"

"Promise." She relaxes, slowly removing her hands from mine. Feels cold without hers.

What am I thinking, she has a bad fever. Of course it's going to be cold without her!

I let go and walk off, grabbing clothes for me and her. After having a brief coughing fit, she grabs hers and separate to change. I go to the changing room, while she stays in the bedroom.

I stand in front of the door, wearing a long sleeved sweater and sweatpants. I knock to notify I'm back.

"Hold on. Just a moment... Done!" I open the door to see her in her signature shirt and suspender skirt, sitting on the bed. Buttercup had gotten off at some point, laying on the floor.

"Hey. How you feeling? Think you can handle going out a little bit today?" She nodded, dark bags under her eyes still. She looks exhausted already.

Don't blame her either. Yesterday was... a lot. And that's not including what happened this morning.

"C'mon, lets get you a mask." I reach out for her to hold my hand, which she takes and stands up. Her legs are shaky as she takes a few awkward steps. Seems her limp is more noticable now.

She's quick to lose breath, and she sways as she stands next to me.

"You don't look like you can stand on your own." I press her onto me, holding her by the waist. She tenses from the sudden contact, but makes no move against it.

She gradually reaches an arm out and...

She's hugging. Oh my gosh, she's hugging me.

She never hugs. Ever.

Focus, Moony! You got work to do. I shook off the lingering feelings.

With her pretty much latched to my side, I guide her out of the room. There's a bunch of junk scattered on the floor, or on the couch in a pile.

"Moony, did you really..?"

"I brought some things over to feed Buttercup and help you feel more comfortable. Hope you don't mind." She leaned onto me, head weighing down on my shoulder.

"Thank you, this was not necessary."

"I mean... You'll probably be stuck here for a while."

"That is not entirely true, I can care for myself after I receive the... medication." She gripped me a little tighter.

We'll see. I guided her over to the couch and set her down, Buttercup lingering not far behind. She leans back and sighs, shivering from the cold surface. She floated up to lay next to KENA.

"I'll make us some breakfast, and if there's still time before your appointment, then you can take a nap. We'll head out at around... 8." Her eyes snapped open, and she turned to me.

"Moony! You have a duty you must head to, am I correct? Will you not be late for it if you take me to your coder?"

"Already called my boss. Said I could take the day off."

"But... what if I suddenly collapse during the journey? They will be unable to properly diagnose and treat me if I am unconscious, surely."

"Then I'll carry you to ER."

"But... what if... I don't have the energy to make it there?" I narrow my eye.

"... You really don't wanna go, do you?" She shrinks a little.

"... Can you please just answer my question, please?" I sigh, losing the look.

"If that's the case, then I'll have him come here and do the appointment. How's that sound?" She whimpered, looking away with hands over her face. Rocking herself with a half pale expression.

This is just getting absurd. And sad. More sad than absurd. Actually...

Just sad.

But breakfast still needs to be made. I warmed up the soup she didn't finish last night, and brought it over. She seems to have managed to keep her composure, barely.

"You hungry?" She snapped out of rocking and looked at me, returning to her usual colors. She nodded as she reached out, opening and closing her hands.

"I'm gonna help you, alright?" She continued making grabby hands, her face lighting up as the bowl came closer.

She grabbed onto the bowl, but didn't really hold it as I gave her the last of the soup. After finishing it off, she looked at me with bright eyes. Expectant eyes.

"Are you still hungry?" She nodded, and I put the bowl and utensil away in the sink, then searched the cabinets for something else. Amidst the dark and cramped spaces, I finally found some crackers.

Specifically, saltine crackers.

I grabbed them, sat down next to her and handed a few. I sat back as she crunched on them, focused entirely on the food she's holding. It's not long before she stares at me with the same expression as before.

I lifted the bag, and she snatched it from me to eat up the rest.

Moving a little too fast for it to be safe. I place my hand on her back, which she glanced but didn't stop.

"You might wanna slow down before yo-" A cracker went down the wrong way, and she was thrown into a coughing fit.

Her voice altered more with each cough, until the piece pestering her chest finally was forced out. Her breaths were still wheezy, the warped sound gradually fading.

When she leaned back and let her limbs relax, I took what remained of the pack. Just a few was left.

"I think you've had plenty." She nodded, letting her head rest on the soft cushioning of the sofa.

I put it away in the bag, then grabbed Buttercup's bowl. I went to the dog food and removed the clamp, unfurling the top to scoop up a full bowl.

I heard something leap down from the couch and run up behind me. I placed the bowl down next to the full water bowl, and the pup came excitedly to crunch on the dry food.

After all of that, I went to have some scrambled eggs. Might give me some pep for the hectic day.

After cooking a couple up on a skillet to a nice yellow color and setting them on a plate, I looked over to see that she was knocked out on the couch. Food bowl empty, with a yellow dog snuggled against her. A smile crept on my face.

I set my fork down, and go to the bedroom to grab a blanket and tuck her in. A quiet groan escapes her throat, licking her lips.

"I'll get you some water." I took the cup that was left behind and emptied what little remained into the sink, and filled it up again with something fresher. I placed it on the stand.

HANA sat up and grabbed it in an instant. I watched as she glugged the whole thing, placing a hand on her back. Eventually, she stopped and placed the cup down.

I looked in to find that she had drank all of it, and refilled it again. She made no move when I placed it on the stand again.

She looked so comfortable laying there. Like she could just drift off in an instant and she couldn't care less. I could feel a tugging at my lips again, and gently stroke her forehead.

She felt warm, maybe even a little warmer than yesterday. There was also a chill that shook her entire body that you wouldn't notice unless you really paid attention.

I grabbed the blanket and tucked her in again. The shakes seemed to lighten up a bit. I went off and grabbed the wash cloth to soak and place it on her cheek again. She shivered hard a moment before the chills seemed to fade some more.

I look over at the plate on the counter, only just remembering that I had food to eat too. It didn't take long for me to finish, and then focused back on what I was going to do. And that would be...

A mask! That's right, she needs a mask to go in public. Especially down there.

I look around the apartment, before finding a pile of masks hiding in a drawer. I grabbed one and set it aside on the stand.

I checked the time on the oven: 7:31

Just around a half hour before we have to leave.

I go over to her things and dig around to find something... Aha!

I pulled out a small rag, patched together with a mixed assortment of things. Each part was from separate things we found in a junkyard, but were combined to act as a comforter.

I would know so. I was there when she stitched them together. I even recognize a couple pieces I helped add. Wow, it's held together strong even after all these years.

I placed it with the mask, so I don't forget it.

I then go to the closet, searching for something to keep her warm. Hidden in the back, I found an old fluffy coat I rarely wear. It was on the heavy side, meant to keep a person warm in really cold places. I only wear it on days I wasn't feeling so great.

I carry it and spread it over the couch. I only got around 20 minuets left to prepare.

I check my bag, which still has a couple of water bottles in it. They're warm, but at least she won't dehydrate.

I grab the pack of crackers and tie it up, putting them back in.

I move over to LENA, and gently shake her awake. She mumbled as she sat up.

"Wha, what's happening...?" Her voice was soft, rubbing her eyes as she looked up. Eyes shining from gloss.

"Time to go. We're heading out now." She stayed still, then tensed as realization flashed across her face. I grab the comfort cloth, and hand it to her. She grabbed it and felt the various patches, easing up her stiff body.

I grab the mask and hold it out to her, grabbing her attention. She puts away the comforter in an unseen pocket.

"Here, it's required." She grabbed one of the untied straps, staring as if it was from another dimension. Then she held the opposite strap with a second hand. Twisting and messing with it. She opened her mouth up.

"You need help putting it on?" She stopped and looked at me with an oblivious smile.

"I'm supposed to wear this?" I should've seen it coming. How I don't still, I may never know.

"Yes. I can do it if you don't know how." I came closer, but she started backing away. Worry written on her expression.

"You should keep your distance. I'm feeling a little better, so I should do things myself now." She said as she placed the mask on her head like a head band. I'm desperately trying not to laugh at the display.

I sigh, taking off the mask in its awkward position and place it more properly over her mouth. She tensed, watching as I tied the loops behind her ears. Then I fixed the mask a little more so that her nose and mouth would be covered entirely.

When I backed away, she relaxed and felt it on her face.

"That's how you put one on." She looked up at me.

"Is it normal that I am required to breathe deeper while wearing this?"

"Yeah, that means it's working. Now don't take it off. I don't want you causing anyone else to get sick." She nodded and leaned back, closing her eyes.

I grab my bag and put it on my shoulder, then grab the heavy coat and rub it up against her. She opens her eyes and shakes her head, so I put an arm through a sleeve. I hold out my hand, which she takes and slowly moves to stand with my help. She lets go after reaching her full height.

I don't like how she's swaying. Fortunately, she moves to cling to me again not long after.

"I suppose I am not doing as well as I think." She said, putting a hand against her head.

Of course you're not doing well, you're sick. I'll help you through this, whether you like it or not. I place a hand on her waist, and she moves a little closer.

"How long are we traveling to get to your coder? I hope it is not in some distant land."

"It's not super far, and we're not going on foot." Her head tilted curiously, then turned her head and noticed where we were heading.

There's one door she hasn't been through yet. I've told her not to touch it, but this is a rare case. We start moving towards it.

She leans forward, eyes widening as I reach for the knob, twist it, and open it up.

So this is what was behind this door. It is not quite as... dangerous as I thought it would be. Though it was really dark. Too dark for my taste.

My eyes already glow, making sight in the dark just slightly easier, but having Moony beside me was far more comforting. She glows so brilliantly in the dark, letting me see without being blinded.

I continue looking around the area, taking in all the details. It reminded me of a cave, though a very small one. There was another door far off to the side, which had tools inside.

Moony turned back to Buttercup, who was sitting inside.

"You stay here, we're gonna be back in a while." She nodded and turned back inside. The door shut by Moony.

I turned to her.

"I do not recognize this, Moony! Have you had this the whole time?"

"Yep, but that's not important. Right now, I need to get you to a coder." We move over the vehicle, and I attempt to enter.

I pull on the handle, which only made it budge a miniscule amount. I intake a large amount of air and swung my entire body back, which pulled it as far as possible. And it still refused to open!

An arm wrapped around me, keeping a firm hold. Though surprisingly loose, somehow keeping me calm. I attempt to squirm my way out.

Oh, who am I kidding. She would complete whatever she is doing before I ever manage to escape her grasp.

Her soft, warm, gentle grasp...

Wait, what? I take another breath, wiping away the abnormality.

I am not a homosexual. I swear that.

She pulls out a key, inserting and twisting it in the lock. She pulls the handle, opening it with no effort.

I huffed quietly, leaning against her.

She gently guide me into the seat, making sure all of my parts are inside and in place.

I melt into the cushions. My body still feels as though it was created from steel and talc at the same time, even after a night of rest.

Well... The closest thing to a night of rest for me.

"You think you can buckle yourself?" I stared at her.

Buckle..? What is-

Just do something. Don't make a fool of yourself.

I nod and turn to my left, searching. Letting me get a better view of the interior.

It was mostly just browns and worn fuzz, covered in stains and patches. Clearly this machine is falling apart. Or maybe it is just aesthetic? I am not very knowledgeable about machines and design.

"It's on your right, actually." She suddenly said, and I turned around to find some kind of grey strapping partially hidden by the seat. Is that what I was supposed to find?

"I already knew that." I lied, grabbing the belt. I took a deep breath.

I pulled hard with all my strength, closing my eyes. I could feel the edges were worn and breaking apart, since there were soft parts compared to its collective solidity.

It seems to have gotten stuck on something, and I start pulling harder.

After a few moments of pulling, it then got dragged elsewhere and a click sounded. I loosened, taking a breather for my aching arms before pulling again.

It stopped shortly after pulling, similar to earlier, except I am confident it did not get stuck so soon the previous time. Perhaps it is designed this way? I shall just assume it is, for now.

I opened my eyes and looked down, seeing the strap across my chest. I let it go.

"Haha! I did it by myself with n-no help! I told you-ou I could do something!" I shouted with a glitchy voice, arms raised.

Moony chuckled, placing a hand on my head and ruffling my hair.

"You sure showed me, buddy." I huffed, combing with a hand before laying back.

She gently placed the back of her hand against my forehead a moment, and shut the door. She went around and entered the side with all the gadgets and gizmos.

She took off the coat, placing it in between us. I places a hand on it, feeling the rough outside before going to the soft inside.

The gentle fluff radiated warmth... I'm tempted to...

With shaky hands, I found myself slowly grabbing the coat and placing it on my shoulders. Trying to cover as much of myself as possible.

It's so warm... So comfy... It almost feels like she wrapped her arms around me...

"Cold?" I weakly nodded, beginning to feel light.

I felt chilled deep into my core, but the coat made it a little more bearable. Even if only barely.

Things remained quiet a moment.

"Lets go. It's not like sitting here will teleport us there." I would say a quip and tell her about how odd that statement is...

But I feel too drained to think at the moment. I take a deep breath, which instigates a cough.

I coughed a couple more times, accompanied with a sneeze, and mumbled something under my breath. Sounding garbled and incomprehensible, even in my head. My body went limp and leaned my head on the belt. My head felt fuzzy, the world growing darker.

The vehicle jumpstarted with a rumble, and a light behind my eyelids was enough to bring a rise in energy. I opened my eyes to watch as we started going down a lowering path.

It was cramped. If this mobile was a living creature, it would probably have claustrophobia.

It is not very long when we come across a large door, likely built to let the large device we are in through. I hear clinking, and a tiny click.

Slowly, the door raised. The light was blinding.

I raised my arms and turned away, my head pounding as pain surged behind my eyes. Very gradually, the pain faded partially and the light became more bearable.

I opened my eyes and lowered my limbs, and was met with a foreign and unusual sight.

Far ahead were houses, placed evenly next to each other. I was curious by how all the homes seemed to match each other almost perfectly, excluding the extra decor. I wonder if their lives parallel as much as their homes.

Looking to the right was something more familiar, though still foreign.

Closer by was a city, which had a variety of colors and lights. There seemed to be similar vehicles zooming around, people walking about as well. Some had little critters on leashes.

All about the empty plains were occasional farms, fences separating them. Some had giant machines tilling or spraying or flying about.

It is all so strange, and yet I oddly like it.

She drove onto a path that lead straight to the city, and I took as much of the view as I could.

The first thing I noticed was the surprising amount of ENAs that were out, bustling about. Doing things. Alive. I thought I was the only one.

Well, I guess I am. I am the only one alive in GREY FIELD.

I switched my focus else where. There was all sorts of colors and lights and places and... It was too much. My head hurts now.

I was starting to grow weary of wearing the mask, and lowered it off my nose. Hopefully she won't-

"You can push it down all the way. Just make sure you keep it on while we're out of the car." I could feel clenching in me, hearing her notice my disobedience. I fully take off the mask.

"S-sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Things remained quiet.

I lurked in my mind, thinking through what happened. What could have happened. What might have happened.

There was one thing that nagged me, though.

"Is... there a reason I must wear this mask?" I asked slowly.

"Yeah. To keep people from getting sick. That, and it's required down here if you have a fever and are aware of it." I turned in her direction, raising a brow.

"When were you the one to be obedient with rules?"

"I'm not. One look at my record says that. But you need to see a coder, so you gotta follow that rule or else you'll be kicked out and we'll have to start all over again a different day." Her grip tensed. I put the mask back up, shivering for more reasons than one. Remaining tense against my seat.

She let out a sigh.

No, more like a deep breath.

"S-... Sorry..." She mumbled. I heard her, barely.

Sorry... for what?

---

At some point I must have become unconscious, because the next thing happening to me is tapping on my shoulder. The vehicle was completely silent.

"Huh..? Wha... Whas happen deary?" Amidst the bleary images and off kilter sensations, I noticed a pale glow to my left. A much more weighty pressure was placed on the body part.

"We're here." I jolted awake. After rubbing my eyes with a roughness that left them slightly irritated, I looked ahead to find us in front of some white building with red accents.

I... was not expecting this.

It is far bigger than I remember a coder's medicine office is. As well as there being a strange name for it.

The sign had a large red plus sign, with "HOSPITAL" just beneath it above the door.

"Is this the coder's office?" She chuckled lightly.

"No, this is a hospital. Where pretty much all the coders of this place are. All of the good ones, anyway." So there is a mass of them. I could feel a shiver run through me. Clutching the coat closer.

I can just imagine the swarm of doctors surrounding me, as I lay helpless on a table. Strapped down so I would be unable to move. They would all eagerly grab a blade to open me up and-

"C'mon, I know you're scared. Use the cloth." I was able to remain grounded enough to pull out my cloth and touch various spots.

Soft, rough, scratchy, comfy. I began to narrow down the details to what I was touching.

Faux reptile skin, faux mammal fur, plastic, rubber.

Rubber is my favorite to mess with. It has a soft and malleable form, and is smooth to the touch. I love the way I can make it bend and warp. One of the few things I can fully manipulate to my will, with my own two hands.

I took a deep breath. Gazing up at the building.

"We're not gonna be long. Just a couple hours at most likely. Not a lot of people come here on Mondays." She pressed something beside her, and the unseen object let go of the belt with a click.

I looked down, and noticed the belt was being held in place by an item beside my hip. Like two puzzle pieces together. I pressed the worn down, red button and I was released from containment.

I opened the door, stepping out onto the smooth and stone like ground. Putting on the coat more appropriately. My legs were still unstable and struggling to hold my form, but the vertigo was much lighter now. I took a few steps.

Moony was just beside me, arms outstretched.

"I am certain that I can walk on my own now, my faithful companion." She still continued to give me an expression of worry.

"Alright, I'll be right here when you need me." She shut the door and stood beside me, staying alongside as we entered the building. Pressing a button to cause the vehicle to let out two simultaneous beeps.

It was very simple, much of it a white like the outside. There was occasional pale blue patterns along the floor and a continuous line of the same color on the walls. There were plastic chairs evenly placed around, with only a few other people there. Ahead was a desk with a person there.

My first thought was how it reminded me of a place I would rather not think about, causing me to instinctively crumple. But after clearing away the thought, I really began to view the room.

And it was peaceful.

There was hardly any color, and the area had a very sterile feel. Unlike... that place. It seemed youthful. New. Like it was recently made.

Moony lead us up to the front desk.

"Hey, we're here for an appointment." The person looked up. They seemed to be an ENA as well, colored green and yellow with a pigtail to the side.

She went to a flat device and began clacking on something with dozens of little buttons.

"Are you Moony?" Her voice was bold, but sweet compared to Moony's.

"Yes. It's for ENA." She clacked some more on the devices, then turned to us.

"Have a seat, you will be called shortly." How odd. I get to have a room to myself to meet him in. The last one I went to had no such privileges. They worked in a worn down wagon.

"You get to pick where." Moony said to me.

I could feel the anxious energy run through me as I attempted to figure out the best seats. Eventually, I picked out two that were distant from everyone else. I lead her to it and sat down, her joining beside me. Allowing me to lean against her and hold her arm close.

Gosh, she's so soft. Contrasting her occasional tough exterior. Both in a metaphorical and literal sense. She's warm too. I wonder what being in her arms would be like.

I mean, I may be wearing her coat, but it just doesn't compare! I desire more than just her clothing against my skin!

I wonder if laying against her is like laying on a soft cushion.

I back away from the closeness with Moony's arm, internally shaking my head.

What am I thinking? These thoughts do not belong at all. Seal them away, let them never see the light of day again!

"ENA?" I snapped to attention upon hearing a high pitched voice, and I stood up. Making sure my mask remained in place. Moony standing as she held my hand.

We go up together, and I could already feel a churning in my stomach when we got near them. They seemed to be an anthropomorphic serpent, their limbs holding a rectangular object. They were dual colored, being purple on one side and blue on another. They were wearing light blue clothes, with the plus symbol on a pocket.

"Come this way." They turned, and I let Moony lead ahead as we went down the halls to a room. A very short trip, with a small walking distance and only having to turn one corner.

We went inside, and it seemed quite... simple.

It was a basic room with a few cabinets and a counter with a sink. There was a jar with round wooden planks for some reason, and posters on the wall. I could not tell what it was saying, aside from a few words that I recognize. In addition, there seemed to be a small bin on the floor with a symbol and "BIOHAZARD" written on it. Whatever that means. There was a cushioned table, and they ripped the paper on it to roll a new sheet on top.

"Please sit there." They said as they pointed to the table. I hesitantly got on top, leaning on the wall. Moony went and sat on a chair beside the bed.

They took the device in their hands and placed it on the counter, pulling up a stool with wheels on the bottom as a seat.

"And you say that ENA has come down with something?"

"Yeah. Losing their voice, hard time walking, coughing, sneezing recently developed, and pain." The person typed on a similar device as on the front desk, and nodded.

"And is Cr. Kend her usual practitioner?"

"No, she doesn't have a practitioner from what I know of." She turned back to the screen, pressed the buttons some more, and closed it.

"Alright, thank you for your patience. He will be arriving shortly."

"No prob." They picked up the device and promptly left with it, leaving us alone in the room.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, taking in air that had been stifled previously. I felt a hand against the back of mine.

"It's alright. You've got this." I shook my head, still shaking from the encounter.

"No. I'm cewtain that bad things awe gonna happen." She frowned, floating up to be on level with me.

"What makes you so certain?" I wipe away the tears streaking down my cheek.

"My last coder kept giving me weird stuff in bottles, and they often made me really sick. I would just... feel awful in so many ways. It is very difficult to describe." She picked up my hand. Stroking the back with her thumb.

"They're not like that. I've been to them tons of times before, and all they've ever done is help me. He really does mean the best." Hearing this made me feel a little better... Maybe he will be nice to me.

I take a deep breath... Which turned into a coughing fit. She placed a hand on my back as I coughed into my arm.

When the fit finally passed;

"And I'm sure he can get you some medicine that would make all of this less painful." I tensed.

Is he... Is he going to-

The door opened.

This month.

"Hello there Moony. Nice to see you again. Uninjured, of course." His voice seemed to come out awkwardly, switching between pitches. Yet somehow always monotone.

He was wearing a long white coat, much like any other coder, and a stethoscope around their long neck. Their body was entirely black and slim, with their eyes having a white glow and black slits. His muzzle was long and thin, with little spikes pointing down under his chin. Their legs had a dog leg shape to it, with birds feet. Two of the four arms he has was holding a laptop, placing it down and opening it.

He pulled up a stool and sat down, their long thin tail curling into a spiral on the floor.

"So you speak of ENA having an illness."

"Yeah. Can you tell what she's come down with?" He looked towards me.

"It says she has been experiencing difficulties with walking. Might I ask if she has been feeling disoriented?" I glance at her; she hesitantly nods to him.

She's shaking all over, clutching the coat. Her face already half pale.

"It also says you have been experiencing pain. Can you be more specific about the location?" He seemed to lack emotion, but his expression shifted to show concern. Though, granted, it's kind of hard to tell.

She cleared her voice.

"U-um... My head hurts some-times. My throat h-urts often. And... And I feel ach-y all over too." Her voice was unstable and weak, struggling to simply have a voice at times.

"Have you been feeling chills?"

"I have been feeling much colder recently..." She put the hood up, burying her face in the worn fluff. I give her hand a gentle squeeze. She twisted her arm so she could grip my hand in return.

A very tight grip.

"I see. I need to make a health check in case of any other abnormalities, which should be painless." She lowered the hood and came out of hiding.

"What will you do? Is it invasive?" They stood up, grabbing a hand held device from a cabinet, and came closer. Making her cower.

"I need to look at your eyes, please."

"W-what is that?" She pointed to the device in his hands, voice barely above a whisper.

"An ophthalmoscope. It lets me look into your eyes, and see their coloration. Any alterations could be a sign of illness and point to what type." Shoot, I forgot that was something I could do.

She hesitantly leaned forward, and they turned on the light. He briefly looked in each one, causing the black to shrink and reflect back the color they were.

They were green. If it wasn't certain before, it was now. She was sick.

He backed off and put it away, then pulled out a pulse reader. A small flat device attached to a strap.

Her grip somehow became tighter.

"What is that?" Her feminine voice gaining some semblance of strength.

"A pulse reader and a thermometer. This device will measure your ichor flow and temperature." He placed it on her wrist and pressed the velcro together.

A button turned it on, showing blue numbers.

"I suggest to relax your arm, to get the most accurate measurements." The entire arm flopped down onto the table.

"Does this wowk, siw?"

"Yes. This will do fine." Seeing her shaking intensify, I squeezed her hand harder to gain her focus.

With her eyes on me, I reached for one of the hard to see pockets and pulled out the cloth again. She let go and took the cloth like it was a sacred item.

She placed a thumb on one of the textiles and ran small circles on each one. Switching after a moment of lingering.

She stayed on the rubber for the longest. Pressing and bending it with one hand.

Not long after, the device beeped and the numbers stopped flickering. Turning to her splayed arm, it no longer had the measurement tool.

Instead, it was in their hand. Reading what it said.

"Your pulse is normal, but your temperature is 87." She whimpered.

Shoot. I guess I should of told her what her temperature was yesterday. Or would it even matter? It's even worse than it was before!

"S-so... What's the tweatment, codew?" She wrapped her arms around herself, limp arm returning to normal position, and the shivers came back.

He typed the numbers down, and took the tool around his neck off.

"Oh, the health check isn't over yet. I need to check your breathing and pressure still." She turned to me. No doubt terrified of what they might do to her.

I took her hand, and looked directly into her eye.

"It's okay. It won't hurt a bit. I promise." I spoke softly, loud enough for her to hear but quiet enough for her to be comforted.

She constricted my hand again, and I returned with a much softer squeeze. Letting her know that I was right here.

And that I'm staying until this was all over.

They were already next to her, stethoscope on and at the ready. He raised the bell to show her.

"I'm going to place this on various places of your back. You are going to need to take off the coat." She slowly began shedding it, sliding half way off before they told her that she could stop.

He pressed the silver object against her back. Causing her to sharply inhale.

"I will let you know when to take a deep breath. Breathe." She complied, and they repeated three more times.

I was holding her hand the whole way. Her breathing steadying a bit.

"Alright, now I will check your internal pressure." They placed the stethoscope around their neck, and brought a blood pressure cuff from a cabinet.

"Try to relax your arm as much as possible again, please." She pulled up the coat to warm herself; rolling up a sleeve. Her arm loosened, lowering but not falling down this time.

They placed it around her arm and inflated it; the only sound a quiet hiss.

I could feel how stiff her form was, staring down at his hand. As if the moment she turned away, they would stab her.

"Ichor pressure is normal. Your breathing is clear as well. We just need to get two last things, weight and height." They put away the cuff, and went back to the laptop to pick it up.

She let out the air in her chest, taking in deep ragged breaths. I held her hand with both of mine, gently pressing the back.

"It's alright, you can do this. Just two more things. Think you can do that?" She nodded slowly, her breathing steadying. Putting away the cloth into a pocket.

"Come along, the scale is close by." She slid off the table as I stood up; latching to me in seconds. Nearly knocking me over. We head out to a scale a few feet a way.

"You need to remove extra and heavy clothing." She fumbled to take it off, only for it to fall out of her grasp. I jump in and slide it off for her, a shiver running through her. Rubbing her arms for warmth.

She takes a few shaky steps and gets on the weight; the numbers jumping up a few seconds before more obnoxious beeping sounded.

'332.7'

He murmured the number to himself, typing on the laptop. Two hands carrying, the other two typing.

"Is that too much?" She scratched at her wrist as she came back.

"That depends. What is your height?" I help her put on the coat, guiding her arms through the sleeves.

"Umm... I don't remember..." She lowered her head in shame.

I place a hand on her shoulder, letting her know that I'm here. She gives me a half smile in return.

"That's fine. We can measure you." And we went to the stadiometer not much farther away. They stood beside it, raising the headpiece.

"Stand straight with your back against the wall. And take off anything that could increase height, please." She went up after lingering a moment; doing as told.

"Is this right?" They scanned her position.

"Put your feet together." She was quick to correct her form.

"How about now?"

"Perfect. Now, keep your form in regular position and against the wall." She pressed against it, squeezing her eyes shut. The twin hair parts lowering more.

He lowered the bar down, slowing as they reached close to the top of her head.

"Nine feet, ten inches." She opened her eyes, the headpiece shifted away from her. She sprinted back to me, and I give her some reassuring words as I rub her back.

"You're doing good. You did good." Her breathing slowed, and became less harsh. Giving me another small smile. I could see she was growing more drained; the way she leaned on me saying everything.

"Let's head back and see the results."

After getting back, they placed it down to quickly scan it.

"Since you gave no medical history, I can't tell how your BMI is like through out your growing years." She seemed a bit confused, tilting her head. I floated my head next to hers.

"BMI means Body Mass Index." I whispered to her. This seemed to solve her trouble, and nodded.

"But currently, your BMI is around 16.8. The average is 18.5 to 24.9, meaning you're currently too low for the average polymorph." She started growing shaky again. I held out a hand for her, and she latched to it with a death grip again.

"W-what does this mean?"

"Simply that you need to work on increasing your weight when you improve." She loosened after hearing that.

"As for the exam as a whole, it seems you have caught two common viruses at the same time." She tensed again. Grasping one of my hands with both.

"So... What wiww be done to me?" He turned to her.

"Just be given medication, and only one since it treats both. The side effects shouldn't be serious, and the illnesses should go away in a few days as long as you rest. I must ask though..." She scooted a little closer to me.

"How long have you been experiencing symptoms?" She pulled her legs up, wrapping an arm around herself and rocking.

"I... stawted feewing tiwed an bad a coupwe days ago, but I ignowed it. I didn't think it was going to be this serious." Now I tensed. I really shouldn't have.

She already knew she was sick, but she went out anyway. I really should have seen this coming a mile away.

I shook off the thought, and he continued with a nod.

"Going out ill can worsen it to this state. Have you been resting and taking lots of fluids now?"

"Yes..."

"Good. Just keep continuing with that and you will be on your way to recovery." He paused. Turning to me.

He came closer, and lowered his head with concern written all over them. Speaking in a consistent whisper.

"Are you sure you can last while caring for another? Caring for someone as unwell as her can be stressful enough, but with your condition-" I waved him off.

"Relax! I can handle it myself. I know I'm not in the best spot, but I'm sure I can last a while longer." They backed away... And nodded. Standing straight up again; heading to the laptop.

"The medication is common, and in liquid form. It should have a pink coloration and be easy to handle. It is suggested to be taken with food, though." With that, he shut it and picked it up.

"Recovery should come in five to eight days. Come to me if she starts experiencing unexpected issues or if her condition has not improved in two days time."

"Alright."

"Does this mean I can go now?" She clutched my hand, shaking more intensely.

"Yes. You can make your leave now. Just make sure to speak with the receptionist as you head out." She sighed, sliding off the table onto unstable legs. I stand up and hold her closely, helping her walk out.

The talk with the receptionist was short, and we went out into the parking lot with no issue.

"How was that? Was it as bad as you thought?" She looked up at me, a weary look in her eyes.

"No... But now I worry of something else."

"And what would that be?" She hesitated, turning away from me.

"It's... It is nothing worth worrying about. I should never have mentioned anything. Sincerest apologies."

"INA." She flinched from my tone of voice. I gently guided her head to look me in the eye.

"If something is bothering you, I wanna know about it." She softened up. Letting out a sigh, leaning into my hand.

"I'm worried. Am I going to have other medications with what I will be receiving? Ones he has not mentioned? Perhaps even... Opioid based ones?" She tensed when mentioning the opioids. I move the hand to better hold her up.

"I doubt it. He doesn't do those sorts of stunts. I don't think that's even legal here." I pressed her closer, glaring at the thought.

"But if he does something like that ever, then I'm sending him packin'!" I raised a fist in emphasis. My glow turning red.

Suddenly, I feel a weight on my side.

She's leaning against me, eyes closed and a warm smile on her face. The left being a pale pink, the flush showing a heavily saturated color.

"That's very sweet of you, moon-moon..." She said in a soft voice, weakly nuzzling my shoulder.

I could feel color flood to my cheeks, and to the rest of my body.

"Uhhh... Okay. No prob." I mumbled, holding her closely so I can help her in the car again.

---

The ride to pick up the medicine and head home was really uninteresting, as she fell asleep as soon as she hit the seat. I took off her mask so she could breathe.

I unbuckle and get out, going around and opening the passenger side. She mumbled as she rubbed her eyes.

Woops.

She looked up at me with heavy, sleep fogged eyes. Staring silently with a distant look. And then...

She lunged for me.

"Moooonyyyy!" I had to catch her before she tumbled onto the ground. Her clothes were damp, her own body struggling to keep itself cool.

She giggled, with the familiar bitcrushed sound.

"Oooookay, you really need to sleep." I put her head on my shoulder and picked her up. She wrapped her arms and legs around me, leaning her head against mine.

"I loooove you Moony! You're the cutest girl I've eeeeever seeeen! Ehehehe..." She just kept laughing, her grasp growing weaker. I gently rub her back.

"C'mon, lets get you to bed." I whisper to her.

"Ooookaaaay sweetie!" And she buried her face against my shoulder as I head to the back door and unlock it.

The moment I step in, Buttercup is waiting at the door. At attention and staring at the woman in my arms.

"Don't worry about her, she just needs some medicine."

"I wonder what rain rocks taste like! I've seen them, maaaaaybe I should have a... a liiittle taste next time!"

"... And a long nap. She's gonna need that too." She ran off, jumping up on the couch and sitting down. Looking rather stiff.

I carry HENA to the couch, and take out the bottle in my bag. Most of the stuff I didn't bother reading, but I did find dose and frequency: 'Take one dose twice a day'.

Right underneath it was the side effects.

'May cause drowsiness'

At least she might get some decent sleep. I check the time.

'11:26'

The best time would be around 8. Looks like I'm gonna wait a while before I can give her this stuff.

I stash it away with the rest, get everything else settled, and come back to carry her off to bed.

She was very... snuggly, through the whole ordeal.

"Gosh, can we dooooo this aaaaaall the tiiiiime? You're sooOOOooo sooooooooft!" I only sighed, trying to keep her from rolling off my back. Because apparently she decided that was a fun thing to try at one point.

She was already loosing her spontaneous excitement, fortunately.

"I could just... Faaallllll aaassssllllleeeeeep..." Her voice turned hush, body turning into a rag doll. I sat her down on the bed, Buttercup floating up to lay down on it, and gave her a light shake.

"No sleep yet. You gotta change out first." She grumbled to herself as she tried to take off her shirt.

While wearing a coat still...

"Wait here, I'll help ya with... all of this."

"I jus... so tired." I'm already out the door, fumbling with her pile of clothing.

"I know, I'll be quick!" I manage to find a onesie that belongs to her, and rush back. I help her with getting rid of the soaked clothing (in proper order), cool her down with a wash cloth, and zip her up.

After all is said and done, she pretty much collapses on the bed. Eyes shut.

"You're really tired, aren't you?"

"Thiwsty..." She mumbled.

"Right, you didn't drink all throughout the trip. I'll get a cup for ya." I bring a fresh cup and set it on a stand, picking her up so I can set her down in an upright position.

Jeez, she looks even worse now.

She looks... So weak. So vulnerable. I push back her bangs.

She doesn't even react. She's just... not there. And I didn't need much light to see that her eyes were a sickly green now.

Focus, Moony! Get the water, she needs to stay hydrated. I pick up the cup, and help her take small sips. Too out of it to even give a signal or anything.

When the cup was empty, I set it aside on the table. She started moving in place, pushing herself to do... something.

"You trying to lay down?" A nod from her. Lifting her barely, I place her in a position that would be comfortable. Finishing with a soft scratch to her scalp.

"How's that?" She could only hum, eyes slowly shutting. Hopefully drifting off to sweet dreams.

"I'll let you sleep." I pull the sheets up to her chin. Wrapping her in the soft blanket. She still had those chills, so I cool a cloth and place it on her head. It made the shivering lighten up, if only a little bit.

I sigh, and head off to prepare food for later when she wakes up. No doubt she's gonna be hungry.

I ruffle my hair, and only just recently notice the nervous jittering I have.

I might grab something for myself while I'm at it...

Sweet moon-moon...

Wait... Wait, where am I..?

What... happened...

What's going on...

Is there-

Hold on. I think I... remember now.

I push up. My head feels stuffy and my body feels very very weak. My arms are shaking just trying to hold a portion of my weight.

I find myself hacking, leaving me breathless.

Moony comes in, already changed, carrying a bag in her hand. A hard candy of some kind. She seems nervous. Or is the emotion something else..?

"Hey, you're awake! How you holdin' up?" She sat over at the edge, placing the bag on the platform to the side.

And a white bottle.

"Uhhh... I suppose so?"

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Uhhhhh..." All of a sudden my mind gives out; the blanket becoming an appealing object to stare at.

"I'm gonna take that as a no." I come to, and she reaches for the bottle. Her other hand had a tiny measuring cup, and poured a pink liquid inside.

Oh no... Not that stuff... I don't want anything like it...

As it came closer, I leaned away.

"Come on, you need to take it." I shook my head.

I don't need it! It will only make me sick!

She pulled back, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"I know you don't exactly have a great history with this sort of stuff, but it's for the best! If it makes you feel better, you can have something with it." Something clicked in her mind.

"Oh shoot, forgot to bring a snack for you. Ah well, you're supposed to have something with it anyway." She walked off and came back with some of the leftover salty crackers from this morning. Placing the bag down next to me.

"This should work." I was already rather hungry, so I take one to consume. Curbing my hunger for the moment.

As I reach for another, though...

"Don't eat the rest yet, we gotta get that medicine in you." She presses the cup towards me.

I cover my mouth and turn away. I am not taking such vile substances anymore! I am done with these lies!

"Please, just take it! You need it if you want to get better." It is very blatantly clear that she will not back down, so I grab hold of the cup.

I wait a moment for her to leave...

And she remains. Simply gesturing to continue.

"Are you going to view me as I intake the medication?"

"Well someone needs to keep you from skipping out on it." I sigh, and give a nod. I will not disappoint her now.

I lift it to my lips, raising my tongue as I poured it into my mouth. I squeeze my eyes shut as I swallow, awaiting whatever wretched taste hits me.

It was... alright.

It was not awful. I would not say it was even bad. I would even say it was... sweet.

I look at the little cup. It still had some of the pink substance clinging to the sides.

I hesitantly licked a small amount. The flavour hit me harder, but not unpleasantly so. A little much, but still oddly appealing.

So I attempt to take in the rest.

She sighs, reaching to grab the bag on the stand. I suppose she feels like having a small snack. I certainly know I would if I was given the chance, especially if I did not have dinner.

As I finish the cup, I grab the last of the crackers. Coughing interrupting me from time to time.

She pulls out one of the candies.

"I have some cough drops if that coughing bothers you." I tilt my head.

"How would a little candy assist with my respiratory issues?" She shook her head.

"This isn't candy, AYNA. This is medicine. A very different kind." Just the mention of intaking more strange substances made me tense. A violent pounding in my chest.

"HE GAVE ME MOWE DWUGS!?"

"Nono no! He didn't prescribe it at all! Anyone can get this stuff, it just helps with symptoms. This helps with coughing." I stared at her.

I thought... medicine had to be received from a coder.

"But... why? Why does this medicine not require the medical practitioner in order to acquire it, while my other medication does?"

"It just isn't that much of a danger. It doesn't cause anything bad for the most part, and just makes life a little easier. Like a cold. Or in your case, your virus combo." I still continued to cling on the blanket. Unable to ease my grip. My breathing managed to relax, fortunately.

She held it out to me.

"Don't worry, it isn't awful. It's supposed to melt in your mouth. Trust me, I've used it before." It was more reassuring to know Moony has taken this medication.

How do you know she's not lying? My breath hitched. Just for a moment.

I swore to abandon all medicines in the past. Many of them given to fix my numerous conditions, but they only served to sicken me more.

And as much as I love and trust Moony, she has done her fair share of... harmful things... Albeit unintentional. And I will not deny I have done the same myself.

"... It's alright, take your time. I can wait."

This is all so strange. So new. She has been treating me so kindly through everything, no matter how difficult I am being. I just... don't understand.

I scratch at my wrist, taking a deep breath. Have faith.

I trust her. She has never lied to me without good reason, and I am certain she would not be doing this if it was dangerous due to my vulnerability. With the centuries we spent together, I am confident she is telling the truth.

Hesitantly, I grab the small pill before being thrown into another fit. Once I managed to reach even breaths again, I undid the wrapping and held it with my fingers.

My stomach churned as I stared at the thing. Unwanted thoughts swarming me. I did my best to press them back.

Slowly, I lifted it up, and placed it in my mouth.

I let it sit on my tongue, as it let out an intense flavour.

What Moony said was true.

She gave me some rough pats on the back.

"There, that wasn't so bad was it?" I nodded, humming in agreement.

Swallowing was becoming a troubling struggle. My mouth already lacking in liquid.

I could feel a rise of anxiety again. I should mention this to her.

Don't. She's dealt with enough.

But she was so upset last time I did not request assistance for something like this! She might listen, even!

You can never be too careful with people. You know how they were with you. Especially her.

"Something up, bud?" I was snapped from my spiral, thanks to her gentle voice.

How unusual. I never knew she could use such soft tones... She sounds so beautiful...

Why is my chest beating harder? I am hardly moving! My stomach feels fluttery again, too.

"I-I feel rather p-parched, my dear chum. Is a glass of water too much of a request?" Speaking felt like the biggest challenge in all the worlds, yet it slipped out without my permission at the same time.

She nodded, and left the room. Leaving only a small opening behind.

A heaviness came upon me when she left; ichor turned cold.

All alone in an empty room. It does not even belong to me. I am infecting it with my illness and my presence.

The hinges creaked, and a small yellow pup waddled up to me.

My pup.

She floated up onto the bed, and proceeded to lay on my lap. I placed a hand on her head, and stroked down her back. Feeling the gentle fur that always remains tidy and neat.

The weight on my soul gradually faded. So I continue to gently stroke her.

She rolls onto her back, showing her soft underbelly. Same colored fur as the rest of her body.

I scratch at her stomach, aiming for a specific spot that made her kick her hind leg. And when I do find it, I keep going until she stops. And when there are no more places to scratch in specific, I continue by rubbing her underside entirely.

"You are such a precious pup, Buttercup! I love you so, so much!" I speak absent mindedly; her body a warm comfort. Continuing to babble all sorts of random ways to say I cared and loved her, including other languages at times.

I heard creaking. She was back.

Looking up, she was leaning against the frame with a cup in hand. Giving me an odd smile.

"Pardon?" She snapped out of her daze, shaking her head a moment.

"Uh, huh? Oh, right. The water." She came closer and assisted with sipping the water. Much better than using only signals from before. I feel too tired to do much movement as of now.

After I let her know I had my fill, I lay back onto the soft bedding. Closing my eyes.

My body feels frozen over. And not in the usual manner I have come to expect.

It feels physically cold. As if I was left outside during a flash freeze. And it went deep, right to my very center. I wrapped my arms around myself in hope of retaining some body heat; even with clothing that was drenched from my sweat. Making me feel rather grotesque as well.

A hand touched me, instigating me to open my eyes. Seeing Moony look upon me with worry.

"Lets get you changed. Wet clothes can't be comfortable." I nodded, and pushed myself to sit upright again.

"Turn around, please." I whispered in a feminine voice. She shrugged.

"I need to go get new clothes and a towel for you anyway. And from the looks of it, clean sheets too." Gazing downwards, I understood what she meant. It seems I have such an intense fever that I also ruined the sheets as well.

I attempt to stand up off the bed, pushing aside the blanket. Buttercup leaped off as well to allow me to shift more easily.

I felt a little guilty to make her move, but I have few choices in this case.

Unfortunately, it seems my body is lacking in strength as my legs give out just moments after standing.

She catches me mid-collapse, and placed me back on the bed again. My head bowed.

"Many and sincerest apologies for everything that has been happening these past few days. It seems this ailment has been affecting me more drastically than I predicted." She headed towards the door.

"It's fine HANA. I can always just switch 'em. Now hold tight; I'm getting you some new jams, sheets, and extra blankets too. You just work on getting changed." And once again leaves to accomplish the tasks.

She is so very generous for doing all of this. She could simply let me do all of this myself, like I keep trying to offer. Yet... she tries to care for me still.

She does not even seem to care whether I am of use or not.

I strip the thought from my mind. Now is not the time to contemplate about our current circumstances.

I attempted to open up what I was wearing. Fumbling with the zipper on my back for a while. I can not seem to get a good grip. And when I do, I keep losing it! Why can't I do this!?

It seems I might need assistance. I am unsure if I should request for it, though. I do not want to make Moony uncomfortable with having to see me... barren.

Goodness me, the thought alone is making me blush so intensely!

"Ya manage to finish on your own?" Shoot, Moony's back! Quick!

"I'm not finished! Don come in!" I shout, pulling the blanket up to cover my partially exposed form. Even if it was just a small part of my back. That part of me shall only be seen by the man I marry, if I ever manage to. Anyone else, and I risk giving others discomfort. Or worse, endangering them to sin.

I will not fail again. I have done enough in my lifetime.

"Alright. Just let me know when you're ready. And don't strain yourself." I attempt again to grab it. My hands now covered in a thicker layer of fluid, and instability increasing. Silently whispering under my breath the self loathing from within.

I attempt to grab. It slips as I pull.

"Come on, come on. Work with me! Please!"

I try again. It falls from between my fingers.

"Stupi mowon, too dumb to do anything wight..."

Even when I use just my finger tips, they begin to feel pain seconds in. I continue to clamp with all my might.

But I wind up pulling back to hold my hand. My arm and tips in pain.

"Ow..."

Knock knock knock.

"You alright in there? You've been at it for a while. I can help if you want me to, just let me know. It's no problem." I manage to grab it again, but pulling made it slip out again for RUNAS knows how many times.

"I'm fine! Just... slight... technical difficulties..." I strain myself by twisting my form farther. Everything growing more sore and feeling more drained as the seconds ticked.

It feels so strange to have so much trouble simply twisting my arm backwards. I used to be able to hold it in odd positions for hours if I wanted to!

My form rejected the position again.

"Ow ow owww... It huwts..." I released my body to let it relax.

Unfortunately, the aches chose to settle in my atrophying parts.

Tears forced to the surface once again. I try to wipe them away as best as I could.

"Okay, it's been an hour now. Are you done or not?" She sounded irritated, but also not? I could feel a tightness increasing in my non-existent throat. My breathing quickening in pace.

"U-um... I guesssss..." I lingered on the word, frantically trying to accomplish the tasks before she barges in.

"I can tell what you're doing. Get ready, cause I'm coming in." In an attempt to cover myself again, I yank the blanket over my body right as she entered.

She let the pile in her arms scatter across the bed, reaching towards me.

I tightened my hold. Sinking further inwards so my protection would not be easily taken.

She... touched my hand. Nothing more.

I refused to let go. She is going to trick me, surely.

"It's alright. I'm here to help you. I have something to cover you while I help you get changed." She pulled forward a towel. There was a second one left astray.

"O-okay, just let me know if I ever overstep my boundaries."

"That's what I was gonna tell you. I don't want ya to be uncomfortable." I couldn't help but chuckle, warmth increasing on my cheeks.

"That is very sweet of you to speak about. Let us simply get this out of the way." She nodded, and helped deal with the zipper. Finishing with no complications.

I feel so inept. That was the most basic thing to accomplish. I could have done this myself, if I had the towel in the first place.

Next was the more difficult section. I had to pull off the clothing, even with the combination of weight and sticking, making the process of removal even more of a hurdle for my frail form. I attempt to continue myself.

My arms hurt. And my energy is low. Hunger has already come back. I need a moment to recuperate-

Wait, she is continuing for me? But only barely starting.

"You don't have to do anything by yourself. You tired?" I hesitated. Knowing that if I agreed, she would likely finish doing my duties for me.

I know I must turn her down. Even with the many temptations, such as the thought of her tenderly stroking my form with a towel. And layering the soft fabrics delicately with her hands.

We might even reach a new level of intimacy.

...

That sounds very perverted, now that I think about it. What in the worlds am I becoming?

"-ey, earth to ENA." I return to reality. Assisted by snapping before my eyes and Moony speaking loudly. Causing me to recoil in instinct.

"Wh- wha? Something happened, what were we talking about?" She sighed.

"It's pretty obvious you're still not fit to do much right now. Hold on, I'll work quick." A part of me wanted to slap away the hands that helped remove the discomforting attire. But a different part felt a tender warmth with her movement. A sensation I had nearly forgotten.

She was so careful not to harm me. Especially my yellow parts. I could feel her hands touch barren skin. I could not help my staring as she wrapped me with a dry material.

Wait, this is a towel. It felt like the most luxurious thing when she placed it around my shoulders. She grabbed a second one, and progressed with the treatment.

The silence surrounding us was the most tranquil I have ever felt in... Millennia. Since I was newly created, even. It remained this bubble for some time.

"I have a question, if it's alright." She seems so relaxed about this moment. How can she be so at ease? How can I be so at ease?

"Accepted." She turned up from patting down my leg.

"Why do you wear a bra under your tank top?"

"Oh, 'tis a precaution I have. You never know what may happen around in this world." She focused on fixing me up again, nodding.

"Makes sense. You never know when you might get jumped by some creep or something." Hearing her understanding made my chest flutter with newly discovered feelings.

What is this? While my chest is pounding and my stomach is swirling, I can tell that this feeling is not anxiety. Not at all. The sensations are very different.

Could it be-

No. It is certainly not that. I know better than to fall for such trickery. This must be something else. A woman can never love another woman. 'Tis an abomination of his rule.

The sensation... reminds me of a dream. Especially about her, on the rare occasion. Maybe this is one. If it is, I do not desire to awaken yet.

She placed it upon my head, removing the sheen that had become prevalent because of my own cooling system. Making sure to thoroughly cleanse me until she finished. Taking no shortcuts, and careful not to make contact with my body.

Each touch felt so weird, I can not pinpoint it enough to describe it. Like a solid, yet malleable stone grazed my form. It made me feel like melting, intertwining myself with her warmth.

Once drying was accomplished, she assisted with one of my other sleeping clothing. Zipping me up and accomplishing the finishing touches.

I feel a lot more comfortable. The new set was fresh and clean, it did not weigh my form like the used set did. She extended her arms-

Oh. Oh, this is quite nice. It has been a very long time since I was last held like this. My arms around her neck, form loosening. No fear of someone barging in to bring harm. Just... Mellowed. Alleviated. Relieved.

Free.

I am placed down in a new place. The warmth left, but was quickly replaced with a fluffy something that encapsulated myself. I watched as she changed the bedding.

I am doing my best to focus. But my vision keeps blurring. My head feels light, but my eye lids feel heavy. I let them close.

I feel so drained...

I am lulled back to awareness due to nearly falling over. Me and my stupid clumsiness. I shake my head and return to watching.

She was struggling with a corner, so a raise my arm and...

I'm too tired. I want to sleep.

But I'm starving too. I have barely had anything today.

I want Moony to hold me...

All of a sudden, the thought came to fruition. Her powerful form easily handling my weight with grace.

"Ah!" I squeaked from a sudden wash of relaxed pleasure. She managed to stroke a sensitive area on my back. Right near the center.

She placed me down, and I simply meld with whatever way the cushions decided to bend.

"You alright? I hope I didn't hurt you." Why is she asking me..?

My insides reminded me that there were still unsatisfied needs.

Right. Hunger.

"No, you did not harm me. Some food would be nice, please." I speak in a hushed voice. Not moving out of the position I had taken. Too weak to move. Too delicate to do anything.

She nodded, and was quick to come back with soup. After setting me in a more upright position, she carefully feeds me. Doing her best to get as much consumed as she could, as I complied with her motions. A symbiotic pattern.

It feels strange. But I feel too tired to think about it now. Maybe another time I will repay my newest debt.

So I simply allow it to continue. Time blurring together.

It seemed like only a moment had passed when I somehow eaten the entirety of the soup. Either way, I can lay down and rest. The only thing I will likely never be able to properly satiate.

That will never stop me from trying. Whether it was foolishness or selfishness, my mind barely functioning.

But a thought did come back to me.

"Moony?"

"Yeah?" Her voice sounded distant. I put all my strength into remaining conscious enough, trying to listen.

"Will you be okay? The coder mentioned-"

"Hey, don't worry about it. Just work on getting better. So, get some sleep."

I heard the beginning of pitter pattering.

Rain rocks.

"Okay... Night..." My feminine voice whispered.

The last thing I could register, right before loosing my senses, was another form joining me in bed. My body was moved closer. By what is unknown to me, but I hold whoever was there close.

And they wrapped an arm around me in return. Surrounded in warmth as I faded into the nothing.

And, for once, I have no desire to remain for long.

I'm alone.

This is my life.

I always find myself here.

Empty metal passages. What once was a bustling place of experimentation. Deafeningly loud with footsteps and chittering, or hammers against nails as electricity run through the place. The fluorescent light glowed so brightly, it gave me a headache.

But now, it was dark.

And I'm alone.

Again.

I'm not sad, strong Celestials are never upset without reason. Nothing is happening.

I'm just alone. With nothing but my thoughts.

The slithering, creeping thoughts. Hissing like heated metal against water.

Don't think about it. Don't think about it.

I shook my head, finding a metallic gateway. A path leading to somewhere.

Maybe it has a good end this time.

I figured "Why not?" and followed it. Highlighted in a light color, similar to the white tile below. Past empty cages and hollow space. They have nothing to offer me.

I've been here long enough to be sick of it.

I'm getting out of here.

A door. It led to a door with a glowing red sign above. A way out.

Upon exiting...

Oh god, not again.

Bright white light beamed down.

All eyes were on me. Judging my every move.

They were writing on clipboards and typing on laptops. Telling everyone about the smallest mistakes I made, since there was nothing else to find.

For all they knew, I was perfectly healthy.

Even though I want nothing more than to end this misery.

I'm alright.

Everything is on fire, but I'm alright.

This is fine.

Everything is fine.

I'm perfectly okay with this situation.

Even as a plasma body is searing my skin, I'm fine.

So fine, I pulled out a rectangular metal bat and swung at one of the lights. Breaking the blinding scene and forcing everything into black.

All that remains is fire.

It's getting warm.

Keep calm.

I've been in fire before, but this heat is at a new level.

It's just fire.

I tried to choke in deep breaths as smoke filled the air.

A wild, raging fire.

Two hands grasped my shoulders, burning tips sinking into the lines along my skin. Causing that horrible crumbling sound of crushed rock.

"You are such a disappointment, ASTERO."

Everything turned cold. Shiver tearing through me.

It's been so long since I've last seen her, but I keep hearing that soft, sweet, sickening voice again.

Every.

Single.

Damn.

DAY.

"You were such a waste of time."

The flames are getting closer. It's so hot, I think I'm melting.

I want out.

"I don't know why you still try."

I. Want. Out.

"You should have never existed. Those resources would have been better used making a pebble."

The bat.

I held it in front. Lowering it as far down I could as I wound my head back.

Pouring all my strength into my arms.

"Do it."

...

I need to find someone.

"DO IT."

I tear from her hold. Heading off into a cluttered hallway as she screamed curses.

So it was back to aimless wandering. Bat beside me. I hide it away in my jacket, since I don't need it anymore.

A sound. In the distance. A quiet wail, as if begging for help.

I shouldn't follow. Helping leaves me open. Causes trouble.

So of course I go towards the sound.

Twisting and turning, again and again.

Did the walls change to red and orange stripes..?

Whatever. I'm close. It's behind a small black hatch.

...

It stopped. The last thing I heard was a thud.

I rush to open it. Trying to move faster. It was like moving through molasses.

And it's locked.

Fuck this, I'm tearing it off. And I did, hinges and everything.

I could see what was inside. It seemed to be a home. Mangled and warped and broken in ways I couldn't describe.

Someone was there, I swear something about them is-

Wait. The shirt that was in shambles, the black suspenders cut to pieces...

It was my best friend. She was here. On the floor. Lacking color.

I stumbled through, rushing over to take her in my arms. Grey skin covered in black splotches.

Her chest... Her chest was... cut open. And her stomach too. The floor was coated in a still monochrome, ichor long turned to a light grey. Black fluid of what used to be flickering binary.

And... she had no face. It was completely blank. The only way I could tell it was her was the clothes, and her hair.

And even that was failing, beginning to slowly fade away.

Static fell into the puddle. Mixing together.

The world was warping. Fading.

"... Buddy?" I gently placed a hand on her cheek. Turning her as if she could look me in the eye still. As if she could still sense me.

"Buddy? You there?"

...

Nothing. Not even a twitch. Hair particles remaining limp before disappearing all together.

And... Slowly... She fell apart.

Decay claimed her form. Leaving behind nothing.

Nothing, but a plain black box with gold lining.

Delicately, I picked it up. Shaking hard as I attempted to-

No. I can't. This is all that's left of her. If I open this, then that means she's...

She's...

---

I awoke. Shaking. Clutching.

I look to my side. She was asleep. Safe and sound.

Unharmed.

I took a deep breath. I can breathe.

I feel warm. Warm like the flames when I-

I push the sheets off myself for my friend to have them, releasing my grip and sitting upright.

The air is cold. So perfectly cold. It doesn't bother me. I prefer it over the blaze.

I can't think. The twisted images of a metallic lab, uncaring eyes, and the remains of... her...

I shook my head. Taking a deep breath. Clutching myself as I headed out the room.

Thnk!

I froze in place. My grip squeezing.

I'm inside. It's safe.

The tension refused to release. I forced my steps to be slow. Cautious. Light. Even as a terrible screaming in my head said that I need to run and that it's not safe there's danger run run before it happens again rUN-

I shake my head.

I just need some air.

You're leaving her.

Grab something to snack on.

You're hurting her.

Yes it's stupid since I already ate earlier, especially with my habit to... over indulge.

But I'm doing better now, I'm sure I'll keep it under control! And things have been tough the past few days.

I think I deserve a treat.

You don't deserve to live.

I shook my head again, switching to hover off the ground. I went over to one of the cabinets, smaller than the rest, and opened it up.

It had a small cylinder tin, completely plain in texture and color. When I took and opened it up, I was met with a tantalizing smell. Multiple goodies were packed inside, filling the tiny space entirely with them. Higher than the usual one serving packs I stash.

Just one. No more than that.

Turning... Turning...

Violently thrown about by the jaws of fate, until inevitably tossed aside. Slammed against lethal ground. Life lost so soon that I hardly even felt it.

"AHHH!" The air in my chest was rapid. Thoughts whirling in my mind. Held in a steel, cold fist of anguish.

Warmth. I feel warmth. It's so small, like a pinprick.

I look down, wiping away the liquid in my eyes.

It was Buttercup. She was trying to comfort me with her front paws. Like a hug.

I take great care to keep my hands steady as I hold her. Making sure that I don't drop her.

Her eyes were filled with worry, and it made my chest squeeze.

A quick lick to my hand kept me from being ensnared in my head again. I was quick to take this chance, and hugged her close to my chest.

She responded by nuzzling against me, and licking my shoulder. It brought bubbles to my chest. More than one kind of warmth spreading inside. Finally bringing balance to my system.

I could manage a small grin upon my face.

"Thank you. Thank you for this, my friend." I whisper to her, receiving another nuzzle in response.

A shiver tore through me. The surroundings still feel too cold. I set her down and look beside me.

Huh. I could have sworn she was just with me.

"Moony?" I quietly call out.

...

Only the sound of stone falling to the ground above was heard. I stand up, and feel weakness in the knees. This shall be a challenge.

But that shall never deter me. Not with my best friend in possible trouble.

I grab a blanket and make my way out, taking little steps. Instability still lingering heavy over me. But I pay it no mind. I need to find Moony first before I can consider that. I hope she has not gone too far...

I hear something. It seems to be behind a door. A check on the environment notified me which one it was.

It was the changing room. What is she doing in there? There are no proper places to sleep inside.

No... Perhaps she might be...

I press against it. Pleading internally that it was not what I imagine it to be. The sound more prominent than before.

Crying. There was crying. And an empty thunk against the ground.

"You fucking idiot... You're such a failure..." Sobbing between pauses, semi-aggressive whispering directed toward no one... I recognize this.

And... And this is coming from Moony! I would have thought she was someone else if we were not the only people taking occupation here.

Or maybe someone else is here?

Knock knock knock.

The was snivelling and fumbling, a pressure added against the barrier. There was a quick clear of the throat before she spoke.

"Heyyyy buddy! What are you doing up? You should be in bed." This was definitively her.

"I couldn't help but notice you had disappeared from beside me, my precious companion."

"Oh, y'know. Just felt a bit stiff."

"Is... something the matter?" Her breath hitched.

"Nooo! Of course not! Why, I'd say I'm doing better than an island on the closed sea! Hohohoho!" She sounds so sure. So jovial. As if it were our usual days together.

But what I heard slip from her lips...

I suppose this is going to take something more confrontational for me to receive an answer. A real answer.

"That made no sense, compadre. But that is not what I am going to focus as of now."

"What is it, then?"

You can do this. You can do this.

"Moony... I understand you have a hard time. With talking about your problems, I mean."

...

"What are you talking about? It sounds like that fever is coming back. You should get some sleep."

"Chohh chouh... Ehehm... Yes, I don't feel well, but I can tell you are also struggling with something yourself. Granted, I am not entirely sure what as of now."

"Buddy. It's nothing. Go to bed." A sigh leaves me. Growing more unsure if I had even heard her speak earlier.

"Moonavica."

Deep breath...

"Let me at least say one last thing."

...

"Okay. Just one. Then you head back."

Gather, gather... Just a little time to muster needed strength, and courage.

"I know very well how difficult speaking can be. It makes you feel weak. Helpless. Vulnerable. As though you proved someone right by being unable to keep your failings to yourself, and burdened someone you cared with your mistakes."

She remained silent. Not even the slightest sound.

"And then, thoughts come back. Memories too. Making sure to remind you of the terrible things that happened. And how much of a fool you are, and how much you..." Another intake of air. Water flowing down along my skin. I wrap my arms around myself.

With a wavering voice, I continue. "How much you don't, deserve to be loved. It hurts. A lot. It sinks, deep inside, as though a truth of the world. An everlasting reminder." I choke up. Trying to let out what had been contained for so long. Even as there is a nagging sense that I'm going too far.

"A reminder... that you belong nowhere." I sniffled, wiping at my eyes.

"B-but... You have me. And I have you. We have been through many trials together, I would never think of leaving you now. Not when you need me. You have done so much for me already, so much that I am unable to even count the number of times." I turn my focus on the distance. A pleasant wave of comfort returning to me.

"You are always at the ready to help me when I so much as mention a problem. You face the world with a confident smile, even when adversity strikes. And, even with all the mistakes I have made, you still find it in yourself to forgive me. I am forever in your debt for the day you met me." I turn back to her, placing a hand on the door.

"I hope all of it made sense. But if not, then I will simplify it." I press my forehead against it.

"I care about you. And you have helped me many times. So, if it is fine by you, I can help you through this."

...

...

I back away, and shift to have my back against the door.

Another failure. I suppose it was worth an attempt. But I have to comply with my-

Click.

Creak...

Hesitantly crawling into the room, I look around. Nothing too out of place. Just multiple small bags, and a large plastic container. Whatever contents they had now gone.

But, most notably, was Moony. She was wearing gloves, a scarf, and the heavy coat she allowed me to borrow earlier.

"This isn't because I wanna talk. I'm doing this because I need to get you in bed and asleep." She spoke much louder, aggression underlining her tones. Causing me to flinch.

But even with the agitated voice, I could see something in her eye. Almost as if she was... afraid.

"That is perfectly acceptable, you need not speak a word. I was simply mentioning, if you choose to, I wish you to be honest. The only request I have is for you to remain close to me." I move closer, sitting down with a small gap between us.

She shrugged and lifted her hands up.

"What is there to talk about? I'm perfectly fine." I clenched my hand, a boiling anger just barely sealed.

"It may seem like that on the surface, but I have noticed a few things that puts that observation under question." She turned away, huffing.

"Fine. Say it."

"Firstly, you are in here instead of being in bed. You left without so much as a note! I though you were lost for a moment!"

She was going to rebuke, but I had not finished. "And I understand that you simply went out of bed, which I will forgive. Just leave a note next time. Please. It is all I ask for. To know that you are secure and safe."

"Pal that's-" Stiffening again, I continue.

"But that is not my only issue. You have multiple crumpled bags and a large empty box." I grab the evidence mentioned with levitating arms.

"And you failed to even put them where the trash should be! And it's less than a yard away! Even I, as I am now, can do this!" I place the bags in the box, crush them up, and shove everything as deep in the bin it could go. All the while, she stared me. Expression reading as either surprise or confusion. Or both.

"But the most blatant and troubling thing, is this!" I tug at the coat she's wearing.

"You are wearing a heavy winter coat, gloves, and a scarf. Indoors. At the same time. And don't you dare tell me you feel cold, because I distinctly remember during my first experience with the cold months with you that you are 'immortal to the cold and heat'. Not how immortal is used, but that is not the center of this situation." I let go, taking a long intake of air.

It was interrupted by coughing, forcing me to slouch forward. I make sure to clear my voice.

"Now, my closest friend of mine, please tell me. Do you have any explanation for any of this?" I say in exhaustion, looking up at her with hanging shoulders and head.

Everything remained quiet, as she was unable to look me in the eye.

I guide her head back to me.

"Please. Let me know what is wrong. I will be here." She sighed, placing a hand over mine. Clutching. Guiding it away to my lap.

No word was uttered. Instead, she shifted away, hiding her face. Clutching her stomach. It is difficult to tell, though.

I let out a long sigh. "I suppose you don't have to speak, if that is what you wish. But I feel rather tired, yet I have no desire to move from where I am." She only sank further.

"I can speak about anything, if that is acceptable by you. Especially if there is one that you have particular interest in." A light shrug of her shoulders.

"Alright... I suppose this is the path fate has taken." I shift, knees tucked in front of me. Wrapping the blanket more properly around myself. I will likely be here for quite an amount of time.

"Tonight, I had another nightmare. And it was quite the... terrifying experience." I shake my head.

"But it was not all bad! There were all sorts of lovely things, like flowers! A big, wide field of them. The grass a perfect accent of white, slowly swaying in the breeze. My senses were almost overwhelmed by the waft of pollen in the air..." Swaying, eyes closed, lost in the blooming sea of dreams.

My heart went a flutter.

"And you were there, Moony. You held my hand... And came so close..." Arms wrapped around me. Surrounded in warmth.

"I feel... so... at peace... I hope this lasts forever..." Then next you... Wait.

No no nO NO-

STOP.

I shudder, tightening my hold. I take a deep breath and open my eyes. Wide enough for them to be square and circle.

"A-apologies, I nearly spilled the terrible sections! I hope my mistake has not brought unnecessary disturbance, dear friend." I turn and give her a bow, hand to my chest.

An eye gazed softly back at me.

"... Why not say the bad parts?" I hit the back of my head from suddenly rising. The blunt pain was fortunately brief.

"What do you mean 'why not'? Everyone knows why! No one has any desire to hear those irksome little things." I emphasize by skittering my hands, before grabbing onto the blanket again. Shivers returning.

"Besides, there is no reason to worry about them. They are but infinitesimally small problems. They can be contained and subdued easily." My head was stuffy now. As though everything was heavy with clouds.

A touch to my forearm sent away the sensations.

"... Moony?"

She was focused on me. So somber, yet somehow... understanding.

This gives me a sense of deja vu.

"What happened next? After seeing... us... together." She seems rather unnerved, yet not. Pink blush rising on her cheeks.

I take another deep breath.

Preparing my soul as if I were about to inevitably be executed via falling into the depths of diseased fog.

"After... After playing in the fields for however long we were, you... You had to leave." My grasp on the blanket tightens.

"It was only supposed to be for a moment. You promised to return! But...

You never did." The cover went over my head. Flashes of the moments returned. I could still feel my hands coated in my own blood.

"She... She came back. For me. She awways comes back. She awways finds me. My..." I swallow a sticking in my throat, breath deepening. Becoming uneven.

"M-my mothew. A warped, monstrous version of my mother. And she always- ch-chases me. Scweams at me." My hold grows strong.

"Hates me. She says all of the truth that I had evaded so perilously. But... I can never avoid myself forever." Tears flow again. Snivelling, like the worthless little heathen I am. Nothing more than a pathetic worm beneath the Creator, one who had betrayed him and ran from the sacred fields.

I do not expect forgiveness for abandoning him. Ever.

"I'm sure you already know what I speak of. It always bleeds through. No matter where I go, who I go to, or try to do... I reveal the ghastly things I try to hide beneath for all to see, like the attention seeking brat that I am." I know so, because I'm doing it. Right here. Right now. This was supposed to be a comfort talk, not a self absorbed discussion about a monstrosity!

I'm ruining everything!

I was shaken out of my head, in a very literal sense. "Buddy, what are you even talking about? Your the farthest thing from attention seeking I know! You never talk about anything you've done, you always gotta be asked. You've never boasted about anything ever. You're avoidant of the thought of someone just looking at you in any way. You're just...

So... great." Caught off guard by the strange compliment, but the tone whispers otherwise.

"Do you... mean it?" Her head hanged low, turned away so that I may not see her face well. Rendering facial reading impossible.

"Of course I do. You're the best person in this whole world. Maybe even existence. You're the only one I know who sees amazing things in everyone... even if they don't exist." She curled on herself more. Holding her waist.

"I know, I am very naive about many things. Please, tell me directly whatever it is that I have incorrectly assumed about, and I will correct myself for the future." A deep breath. Moving to show herself again. She looks angry. Very angry, but... there was no color.

No, there is color. A light shade of blue.

"Isn't it obvious? It's me. I'm the one you've been wrong about. You think I'm sooo great, even when I constantly treat everyone like dirt! I insult how they look, I call people names, and I act like some- stupid shallow KID! And I'm OLDER than you!" Her voice was breaking, the blush spreading on her cheeks. She was speaking so loudly, I was struggling not to cover my ears. Scrunching my face to will myself to continue.

"And you just... ignore it! Like it's- not even happening! And I can't help but think 'how the hell can anyone be that oblivious?' But you somehow managed to prove that you're even more dumb than I am when half asleep!" She sucked a breath between gritted teeth, altering her expression. Trying to remain "composed".

Even with her entirety showing the somber color.

"So there! You're stupid! You're stupid for believing in someone like me, and I'm even MORE stupid for thinking that I could actually be better!"

... Thnk thnk, thnk.

Down comes the stones. Jagged and warped in ways you might have never thought possible.

She eyed me. Speaking in a torn, low voice. "What? Waiting for something? If you have any insults, then spit it out. Before I make you regret staying here, if you aren't already."

"... No." She turned to me further, confused. I take a deep breath, shedding the cloak and allowing it to fall to the floor. Chills running through me.

"You are correct about one thing. I am stupid. Very very stupid... But I am here to work on that. And there are some things I must clarify for you, my best friend." I pulled her head to better face me.

"I notice when you insult, throwing labels and childish names at everyone. But it is not who you are. I have seen the dark side of your moon. The real you." My focus wanders elsewhere, to my thoughts.

"I am unsure if I have deduced everything I know correctly, but I know one thing for certain.

You. Are the kindest, most loving person. I have ever met. You never left me, even when I was a nuisance." She suddenly grabbed my arms.

"You're not! You're not a..." Realization came upon her, and she growled as she slammed a hand against her head. A pink blush lighting up her face.

"Don't say that!" Giggling bubbled from inside. Placing a hand on her cheek to stroke with my thumb.

"There it is. The sweetness that you keep hiding." She started crawling away.

"I'm... not gonna have to start being mushy now, am I?"

"Of course not. That is your choice to enact upon." At last, a grin spreads on her face. Even if only a small nudge. The highlight spreading over the bridge of her nose.

And so, silence fell between us. She kept to herself, and I did the same. I should create distance between us, as I am still ill, but something within keeps me firmly in place. At least we are avoiding moving any closer. Even as she glanced over at me every now and again.

I still keep quiet. Unsure and in waiting of a sign, whatever that is.

Her mouth opened, only to close.

"Is there something you wish to speak of?" I ask in a hushed voice.

Another glance, tugging the hood over her eye.

"So... I'm guessing that you and your mom don't, get along great."

"Hoh, not getting along is putting it mildly! She always finds a way to pin the blame on me for everything, and frequently would call me 'the worst thing in existence'!" Finishing with a cross of my arms, huffing.

Just moments afterwards, I deflate. Really considering the words I spoke. The words she would say to me.

"Perhaps... She was right..." A hand pressed onto my back.

"She's wrong. I know that."

"How do you?"

"I'm over two billion years old. I've seen a lot. And there's certainly things worse than you."

"What about better? I doubt I do any good that is worth while!"

...

"Well... I mean, that's pretty hard to say. I think you're pretty high up there."

"I..." Heat rushed to my cheeks. Rapid beating coursed a sense of elevation through my body. All I could do was turn away and clutch at my chest, for each attempt to speak led to embarrassing babbles.

A chuckle came from Moony.

Oh RUNAS, my chest!

My chest feels as though it will seize!

Sent unto the rapids of the tide,

After being warned a thousand times.

Take me! Take me!

I accept your invitation to the mania,

For my sanity has long since ceased!

"Oof!" Jostled once again from a small hit to my shoulder, I rub the tender part. Sore from the illness already making my body too tense for too long.

"Welcome back to the Alpha World. Mind telling me which galaxy you went?" She spoke lightheartedly.

"I did not even go to the stratosphere! A-anyways, allow us to... Ehm... I am unsure of how we can continue, actually. Perhaps just sit here and wait?"

"I guess." She turned back to stare at the wall.

Somber silence settled upon us once again. In wait for nothing. Perhaps for one of us to leave? Who can tell. I know I can gather little information from this situation.

More glances in my direction. No motions to speak. Blue light darkened the bottom of her eye like a weight. Constantly turning away with her head low.

Crrk. What was that? Stone fracturing? Where in the world is it coming from?

Crk. There it was again. I can hear it from my right. Is it coming from her?

"Moony?" A small flinch, hands balled into fists.

"You seem awful tense. Would you care if I held your hand?" Tension increased in her form.

"O-okay..."

"It is not required if you have no interest! I did not intend to force you!"

"You aren't, alright? Just. Take my stupid hand..." She held out the part, covering her eye with the other. Pink rushing to the surface again.

I can't help the smile growing on my face. Taking her hand in mine. I wish I could touch her hand for real. Her body is so warm...

"Jeez, you're shaking like you got the zoomies. You should really be keeping yourself cooler." I grab the blanket and ensure to keep it around me.

"Not while I still have a grip on it." She let out a soft chuckle, finishing with a sigh.

She still has the sense of something weighing her. A deep lurking thought that made eye contact borderline impossible.

I mean, eye contact is difficult for me too, but that is because it always makes me extremely uncomfortable.

I tighten my hold, a slight pressure.

"Moony... Is something the matter?" She gave a wave of a hand, smiling as the color beneath her eye became more prominent.

"It's fine, pal. Nothing for you to worry about." More hiding.

I'm so tired of all of this.

"Moonavica." Another flinch. Quick to avert away. I grab to hold with both hands.

"Please, don't lie to me. I want to know you are alright." Tears were building in my eye.

She glanced for just a split moment.

And, off came the hoodie. "Are you sure? It's not pretty."

"You are always beautiful, no matter what my dear. I understand if it makes you uncomfortable, you can just describe it." A shake of the head.

"I don't know how I would explain all of it. It's... better if you see for yourself." She pulled away. Touching for as long as possible before I had to let go.

"Just, please. Don't freak out." I nod, crossing my heart.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips, weariness hanging down on her. She grabbed onto the glove, peeling it off to see...

Oh. God.

Oh god, what happened to her?

"D-dearest..."

"Hideous, right?" She let out a laugh.

She's laughing.

She's laughing when her hand is cracked.

"Moony, p-please, this is far from humourous! You're wounded, it ne-needs medical attention!" I can't believe the words that will leave my mouth, but it is a truth that I can't hide.

"This needs to be seen by a coder!"

... She's staring. I suppose it is bizarre because of my intense fear from before, but I am willing to take it on by the throat if it means assisting her with-

Out came an exhausted breath. "I already did. It can't be fixed."

My head tilted.

"What? Whatever do you mean? Did none of them offer anything?" Another shake.

"Oh, they certainly did. They tried so. Many. THINGS." Red reached her cheeks.

"But it was all just a waste of time. They didn't care about me. None of them did. To think I was stupid enough to think this could be fixed in a day with some pill..." Finished with a huff, pulling off the scarf where more lines were hidden.

I can only feel the swirling and aching in my head as I struggled to comprehend what the meaning was, or who it was about, or if I was even on the same level.

"I am afraid that I am a little lost, my friend. Who is the "they" you are referring to?" She stammered, fumbling with words until it finally came.

"It's... It's my old 'home'. Y'know... The one in the GALAXY WORLD." I can't help but feel a twinge of pain for missing the signal, shame sinking in. I make sure not to linger on it. I will save that for after I completely fail at this.