Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tim would consider himself a calm person. He had patience, and whilst he had a rather… hit or miss attention span, he kind of needed to be able to keep a level head with his career.

But right now, Tim wanted to punch his hand through his monitor. This stupid game had no right being so goddamn hard. He was meant to be good at this, for fuck’s sake. It was his job.

He groaned frustratedly and glanced at the scrolling chat on his second screen, the viewfinder on his webcam and the monitor with his stream up showing his own irritation clearly on his face. His Twitch chat was filled with various messages, but mostly the letters F and L being spammed. He rolled his eyes and adjusted his headset over his messy hair.

“I can do this, chat, shut up.” He muttered, leaning close to his mic. The game wasn’t anything special, some small and relatively underground puzzle game he’d heard good things about and gotten a few requests to play. It’d been going fine, until the goddamn sixteenth level.

He rolled his shoulders back, took a sip of water, and tried again, pushing his little tennis ball themed character across the screen. The whole game was sports themed, but all anime-ified. It was cute, he’d probably have more fun if it weren’t apparently the hardest game in existence. He was gonna be seeing cartoon sparkly tennis rackets in his dreams for weeks.

“Okay, so I just need to like… roll myself up the hill.” He said slowly, narrowing his eyes. “And then…” he pressed down on the S key, his character rolling – “Jump! –” he hit the space and A keys, and his character jumped up and rolled to the right and –

Just missed the platform. His stupid little anime girl character making a stressed face as she fell, the bright background and cheery music taunting his crushing defeat.

He took off his headset, and tossed it onto his desk, well aware he jostled the stupid camera, leaning back in his chair, one hand coming up to rub at his face. He could already tell what the chat would look like, and he could practically see the clips surfacing on TikTok and YouTube. “Red Robin LOSES HIS PATIENCE with ANIME SPORTS GAME!” plastered across every recommended page – ugh.

“I am…” he said, before remembering that no one could hear him. He leaned forward in his seat, and gently pulled his headset on back over his ears. “I am not having fun, chat.” He said, looking towards his second monitor. The chat was exclusively ‘L’, which he couldn’t help but smile at a little bit. Yeah, he’d take that.

“Should we take a break?” he asked, reaching over for his water bottle and taking a drink, after seeing a few “HYDRATE”s thrown in chat. “You know what, I’ll turn on mediashare.” He said, opening his stream settings, and changing the category to ‘Just Chatting’.

“Now, okay chat,” he said, typing quickly as he renamed the stream. He’d only been going for an hour or so, he wasn’t stopping now. He could normally go for about five hours before getting tired. “mediashare is where you can donate me some money, and I will see any video you send me, as long as my mods think it’s okay.” he explained. “We could do a try not to laugh challenge?”

Chat was suddenly filled with thousands of YES YES YES’s, and Tim, thankfully, closed the game.

The next forty minutes were filled with Tim trying, and succeeding, to not laugh at the variety of absurd videos his followers sent, some not even being memes, but funny regardless. Steph messaged him after one particular video of a monkey that made him laugh as he tried to take a drink, and he snorted it through his nose, and that only made him laugh more.

It didn’t help when the next clip was the infamous one of Steph playing her Hardcore Minecraft world, saying “I’m gonna just take a tiny risk, nothing bad–” and then falling and dying from a dramatic height, which made him launch back in his chair, absolutely deflating with laughter.

“Okay chat, what else have you got for me?” he asked, once he’d managed to reign in his wheezing, unable to control his giant smile, leaning back and clapping his hands, rubbing them together as he turned his grin evil. “I am undefeated.”

Chat was suddenly filled with “YOU JUST LAUGHED”, and he threw his hands up in the air in mock exasperation, staring down the webcam.

“You’re all so pedantic.” Tim said, dragging his chair forward. “Can’t even breathe without you all going ‘um, actually’,” he said light-heartedly, readjusting his mic. It was a little annoying sometimes, but he honestly didn’t mind chat correcting him so often. It proved useful before, and truly, they weren’t that bad.

Another video was sent in, and Tim leaned forward eagerly, expecting a meme or a clip from a music video – but instead he was greeted with a smiling face, round sunglasses, and a mop of curly black hair.

“Okay, so,” he’d clearly been sent a clip from the middle of the video, as the guy – who seemed to be around his age, tall, tanned, and wearing a faded Ramones t-shirt – was holding up a leather jacket, and a can of red spray-paint. “I’m thinking we actually dye the jacket red, and then paint the gold symbol on the back…” he said slowly, tossing the can in the air and catching it effortlessly. “See, the thing is, Red Robin has this really nice shade of gold for his logo–”

And that made Tim sit up straight in his chair. Was this guy painting his logo onto a jacket? He pulled the mic towards him, and whispered “Where’s this going, chat?”

“–and I wanna try and make it… I don’t know, shimmery?” the guy said with a shrug. “It’s gold, you can’t do nothing with it.” He said cheerfully, before the video cut to a frame of what seemed to be a piece of paper covered with sketches, before the time donated ended.

Tim blinked. “Wait, what? Hang on, chat, what was the name of that guy’s channel?” he asked, pulling up a new tab, and opening up YouTube. “Pause the mediashare,” he muttered into the mic. “sorry mods, I’ve got an agenda now.” He added, as he saw a few upset messages in chat.

He read the chat carefully, and typed in “Superboy Red Robin Jacket”, as the guy’s channel name was apparently, well, Superboy, the information generously provided by his chat.

The video was actually titled “DIY JACKET – MY FAVOURITE CONTENT CREATORS EDITION :D”, and the thumbnail was the guy – Superboy – holding up what appeared to be a jacket, but it was heavily pixelated and blurred.

“I will check that out at some point,” Tim told his stream, saving the video to his ‘watch later’ playlist. “I’m surprised no one sent that to me yet.” He confessed, running his eyes over the view count – just under three thousand, damn – running a hand through his hair.

There was a sudden high pitched anime girl voice, singing loudly into his ears. He jumped back, and hit the back of his chair, the whole thing toppling backwards, with him crashing to the floor, his headphone cable disconnecting from his PC and smacking him in the face.

He groaned, and just laid there on the floor, despite the smile growing on his face. He slowly pushed himself up onto his elbows, an sat cross-legged on the floor next to his chair.

“Chat.” He said, well aware he’d have to yell a little bit to be heard. “Chat, come on, jumpscaring me with that freaking theme song is not cool.” He added, readjusting his setup as he sat down again.

“Sorry chat, I was just so literally blown away by this guy.” He joked, snapping the headphones back on, and closing the YouTube tab. “I’m thinking a few more minutes of mediashare, and then maybe the Minecraft world, or ending. Depends on when my brother gets home with food.”

Eventually, Tim ended the stream, as Jason had eventually returned with food – sushi, specifically – and he really wanted to watch that video. It intrigued him, because there was definitely at least effort put into the thumbnail, and what he’d seen on stream had been decently shot and edited, no crackly audio or anything.

“How’d the stream go?” Jason asked, handing Tim his food, as Tim swivelled in his chair. “I got you a lollipop, by the way. They were giving some out for like a few cents.”

Tim took the lollipop from him and shrugged. “Stream was okay, did some mediashare, fell off my chair, it’s gonna be clipped twelve million times.”

“When are you not clipped twelve million times?” Jason asked, grinning as he began to walk out of the room. “At least you haven’t been cancelled… yet.” He added, before shutting the door behind him.

“Fuck off!” Tim called after him, twisting his chair around to face his PC again.

He leant forward in his seat as he chewed on a sushi roll and pulled up the video once again. Really, he should be cutting up and stitching together a stream he did a few days ago for YouTube, but this was more interesting. Did the rest of the video measure up?

As it turned out – it did. It really did.

The camera quality was amazing, it had to be expensive, especially for a guy with barely over a thousand subscribers – which was insane to Tim, with the amount of effort and quality this Superboy guy was putting in, he should’ve been blowing the hell up – the audio was a little unclear at times, but only in the few sections of the video that were outside, and even then, it wasn’t so bad.

The actual content of the video was interesting, too. Superboy – whose real name appeared to be Conner, as the girl behind the camera called him that a few times – had taken a plain, half ripped up leather jacket from a thrift store, and patched it up, dyed it bright red, and meticulously painted on several streamers and YouTubers’ logos. But Tim’s was easily the largest, taking up the entire back and some of the shoulders.

“How am I gonna include Spoiler’s logo?” the guy asked, looking vaguely distressed. “I wanna put it close to Red Robin’s, but she doesn’t even have a logo, it’s just like… a square of purple.”

“Conner, wasn’t your plan to write Spoiler in a fancy font? In purple?” the girl behind the camera asked, as Conner turned the jacket over in his hands. Tim watched, fascinated. How did he put all of that together without it looking so cluttered? Art was never Tim’s forte, so maybe this wasn’t actually that impressive, but Tim was entranced.

“Yeah, I could…” Conner frowned. “Oh! Cassie, what do you think about doing something on the sleeve! I could do a black square, and…” The camera bobbed up and down like it was nodding. “Nice, okay, let me get the fancy paints out.”

Tim found himself replaying the video, over and over again. He was completely mesmerized if he was honest. Something about the genuine enthusiasm in his smile and the care he put into painting the jacket, hell, even just how he was sat down making things outside in the sun, spray paint decorating the concrete. It was charming, it was cute, and Tim really, really wanted to say something.

He slowly selected the ‘leave a comment button’, and typed out, as the video repeated for the third time, “Hey man, absolutely love this!! It looks so cool, awesome work.”

It felt a little generic, but he couldn’t think of anything better. He hit post, paused, and then clicked the ‘like’ button. And then that still didn’t feel like enough.

He quickly grabbed his phone, and opened Twitter. He grabbed the link to the video, and quickly added a caption, something like “WOW, THIS IS SO COOL Y’ALL”. He could barely remember.

He quickly clicked on the Superboy channel name – and realised with a delight that he had several other videos. And it seemed the high quality was far from a recent development.

He opened the discord tab, and sent a link over to Steph, with the message “STEPH I AM IN LOVE”. She quickly responded with a little “:0” face, and a lot of exclamation marks, which was an accurate representation of how Tim himself felt about the video.

He opened up the playlist titled ‘ART CUSTOMS :D’, and promised himself he’d just watch a few, as it was getting late.

He barely looked away from his screen all night.

Chapter Text

Conner honestly didn’t put that much thought into his YouTube channel.

Well, that was kind of a lie. He put a lot of thought into it, and the amount of effort he put into it was, as his roommate Cassie so eloquently put it, “wack”. He certainly cared about putting out good content, but he didn’t really care about the reception it got. He made his videos for him, because it was fun. Numbers didn’t matter. They were nice, but they didn’t matter.

So, he didn’t exactly start his day with checking his phone or YouTube.

His day started pretty average, he woke up, took Krypto for a walk to the grocery store, apologised to the middle-aged mother whose kid Krypto had decided to jump, came back and made breakfast for himself and Cassie who’d woken up late. Only then did he open his phone at the table, and nearly choked on his eggs.

“Don’t die on me.” Cassie said casually, as he coughed, and hit his chest. “What’s up?”

Kon blinked, scrubbed at his eyes, and re-read the tweet. He often didn’t get many Twitter notifications, with a mere hundred or so followers – but he’d gotten over thirty people tagging him in a tweet in the past hour alone. And a sudden swell of new followers – nearly at a thousand already, and they weren’t stopping –

His video – the video he’d been expecting to get about two views, the video where he DIY’d a jacket – had been tweeted out by the Red Robin.

“WOW, THIS IS SO COOL Y’ALL” blaring in white letters against Twitter’s dark mode, followed by a bright blue link. If he scrolled down, he could see Spoiler had retweeted it as well – with no comment aside from three purple heart emojis.

That tweet had seventeen thousand likes. And it was a solid twelve hours old.

Kon’s phone shook in his hands as he looked up at Cassie, mouth hanging open.

She raised an eyebrow at him from across the table, leaning down to run her hands through Krypto’s white fur. “What? You look like you’ve seen a ghost, dude.”

Kon silently pushed the phone towards her. She sighed, picked it up, and her jaw promptly dropped once she read the tweet.

“Oh – oh shit, holy shit, oh my god.” Cassie started scrolling, and Kon couldn’t blame her. “Holy – how?” She asked, pushing her short hair back to look at the phone better, rereading the tweet again. Kon didn’t blame her.

“I have no idea.” Kon admitted, reaching across the table and taking his phone back. “Oh, oh, let me check the actual video, one second–” he quickly opened YouTube, and if he’d been impressed by his Twitter notifications, then YouTube –

“So, that’s blown up. A tiny bit.” He muttered. Holy hell, the likes, the comments –

Cassie went still. “Kon, if we’ve gone fucking viral–”

He swallowed. “Uh… five–”

“Five thousand? That’s pretty decent!”

“…Hundred thousand.”

“…What?!” she gaped, dropping the fork she was holding. It clattered loudly on the kitchen’s tiled floors, and Krypto immediately ran towards it, tongue wagging.

Kon leaned forward on instinct and grabbed Krypto’s collar, pulling him back. “No, boy, no eating cutlery.” He scolded absently. Krypto made a small whiny noise, and he scratched behind his ears.

“Five hundred thousand…” Cassie repeated, as she bent over to grab the fork. “Holy shit. What do the comments look like?” she asked suddenly, jerking upwards quickly and hitting her head on the table. Kon swallowed a laugh as she clapped a hand to her forehead, moaning “Owww…” quietly.

Red Robin was the biggest Twitch streamer on the platform, and one of the biggest YouTubers, just by virtue of all his success – this was a fever dream, right? Kon was going to wake up in his cramped bed and go back to never being noticed on the internet, right?

Kon shook his head to clear his thoughts, smile making its way onto his face, and opened up the comments tab.

And he had to be fucking dreaming.

“Hey man, absolutely love this!! It looks so cool, awesome work.” Glowing against the screen, from the channel Red_Robin, with the little checkmark next to it and everything.

Kon felt like he could’ve spontaneously combusted right there.

“Red Robin commented.” He managed to say. “Holy shit, Cassie, I need to go lie down–” he said, half joking, but his hands were shaking.

“This cannot be happening.” Cassie said excitedly, taking his phone from him once again. “I don’t believe it! This is nuts!”

Kon didn’t end up lying down, on the couch or his bed. He took Krypto for a walk, making his way to the beach the long way around. If he filled his head with enough sea air, all the adrenaline would leave it eventually. Right?

His skin felt like it was buzzing as he walked across the sand, Krypto sprinting after some seagulls that had been relaxing in the early afternoon sunlight. He was always a little hesitant to let Krypto onto the sand, as his stepmom had always mentioned that Krypto – being pure white and incredibly fluffy – would be a nightmare to wash off. But Kon had taken in Krypto when he was a bedraggled puppy, at age seventeen, and he certainly felt that he could look after his own damn dog.

But Lois was right, as she often was. Krypto, as much as he loved the dog, was a nightmare to clean off. Kon pulled a face at the memory of trying to get Krypto into their small bath at home.

He couldn’t really care much, though, as Krypto jumped into the ocean happily, tail wagging wildly.

Kon took out his phone again, as he ambled along the sand. Cassie had said she would try and catch up on some of her college work whilst he was out, so he couldn’t bother her.

He wondered if he should say thank you to Red Robin. Would that be weird? It’d probably make him look rude if he didn’t respond at all. But how was he meant to reply? In an actual, you know, normal human way? Did he even have the capability to do that when it was, you know, his damn idol?

What time was it in New Jersey, anyway?

He opened up the comments tab, and both liked and hearted the comment, because those were separate features on YouTube. For some reason. Then, he hit ‘reply’.

“HOLY SHIT!” He responded because that was pretty much the most accurate approximation of how he felt. Because, well… holy shit.

He paused for a minute, the sound of the ocean loud in his ears.

Kon ran a hand through his hair as he opened up Twitter, scrolling to find the original tweet where Red Robin had linked his video. He hit retweet before he could stop and question himself.

He realised he had no idea what to say when the keyboard flashed up on his screen.

“HOLY SHIT!” Again, maybe? No, no that’d be stupid, it’d look like a stock answer. He quickly hit backspace and stared blankly at his phone as he desperately wracked his brain for a response.

“THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING”? No, that’d make it sound like a bad thing. God, why couldn’t he just type a response? It wasn’t like this would even get noticed, or impact anything. He just had to go on instinct.

He typed out a little shocked face, a :0, and hit retweet before he could stop himself. Right, okay, that was done. He could ignore it now, put his phone away and –

Krypto barked loudly, pulling Kon’s head up from his phone and him out of his own thoughts. Kon cursed under his breath as he noticed the other dog on the beach that’d apparently decided Krypto’s mere existence was aggravating enough for a fight.

He pocketed his phone and went to go pull his dog away.

Kon didn’t do much else the rest of the day, aside from calling his brother and yelling excitedly down the phone at each other. He doodled out some potential sticker designs for… something. He could stick them onto another jacket. Or something.

He was still sat at the kitchen table, scribbling out miniscule designs in his sketchbook, when Cassie called him from the little corner they’d pushed an old couch into, and called their ‘living room’.

“Kon! Your boy is streaming!” She yelled, beckoning him over. They’d gotten into the habit of calling Red Robin Kon’s “boy” after he’d gone through a short phase of referring to everything and anything as “one of the boys”. It’d been mildly embarrassing at first, but it was just kind of how they talked, now.

He sunk into the old cushions next to Cassie and grabbed the folded blanket they had draped over the arm of the couch. He shook it out, Cassie laughing as he tossed it over her head, whilst she tried to set up her laptop on their lopsided coffee table. She’d made herself a mug of tea, and Kon pretended to be offended that she hadn’t done the same for him, for about two seconds.

They’d eventually settled into a comfortable position when the ‘stream starting soon!’ screen faded, and Red Robin’s voice came through the screen.

“Wonder what he’s playing tonight.” Cassie murmured, turning her mug in her hands. “I bet Minecraft.”

“You always bet Minecraft.” Kon reminded her, as Red Robin waved at the screen, and put on his headset. “I reckon we’ll get another Subnautica stream.”

“I always bet Minecraft, because Minecraft is a popular game.” Cassie muttered, taking a sip of her drink. “Plus, I like their SMP.”

Red Robin readjusted his mic, and pulled it close to his face, grinning widely. Kon noticed, somewhere in the back of his head, that he was wearing a red hoodie. Red suited him.

“Alright chat, today we’re playing a new game,” Kon and Cassie shared a groan. “it’s called the Sims 4, ever heard of it?” Red Robin continued, sarcasm clear in his voice, and in his smile. “So, I’m gonna make myself, Steph – you know, Spoiler – and maybe Bart. You know, Impulse.” He announced, looking to the other side of the screen, presumably at a second monitor. “And then, well, create chaos.”

“Oh, I love Sims stuff – this is gonna be good.” Cassie said softly. Kon hummed in agreement.

“But,” Red Robin said, instead of switching to his facecam and the game. “before I do, should we chat for a bit? The game needs finish booting up, it’s taking like ten years.” he offered, leaning his face on his fist. “Remember last stream? When we did mediashare? That guy that made the jacket–” Kon stiffened.

“Wait,” Cassie said, looking over at him.

“–I watched so many of his videos last night, and today actually!” Red Robin continued cheerfully. “Please, I am begging you all to go subscribe to Superboy, his content is so good.” he said, reading the chat. Which Kon could see – was mostly full of people ‘ooo’ing and ‘ahh’ing. At his work.

“Cassie, how much money do we have to throw at a streamer?” Kon asked, leaning forwards towards the laptop.

“Like, fifteen dollars?” she guessed. “Holy shit, he likes your content! He binged your content!”

“Half your content too.” Kon reminded her, as he opened up the donation link, and quickly entered his card information. “The minimum is three dollars…” he muttered. “Let’s hope it actually gets past this wall of donations.”

“You’re sending an actual message, right?” Cassie asked, staring at him incredulously. “You’re not just gonna donate and leave right?”

“Obviously.” Kon bit his lip. God, he was so bad at just interacting with people online –

“Glad you like my stuff lmao, hit me up on Twitter and I’ll make you something!!” he typed in quickly, looking over to Cassie for… validation? Approval? He wasn’t sure. She nodded quickly, and he hit the donate button before he could stop and think about his bank account.

He leant back and waited anxiously for his donation to appear.

Soon – Superboy donated 3$! Quickly followed by his message appeared on screen.

Red Robin’s eyes widened along with his smile. “Oh! Oh dude, hell yes, give me a second!” He announced, reaching forward to grab something behind his setup, and returning with his phone. He looked down, typed something quickly, and set his phone down, turning back to the screen. “Okay, let’s get on with this.”

Cassie and Kon paused, shared a look, before both diving for his phone. They wrestled half-heartedly over it for about two seconds, before Kon managed to pry it out of her hands. For two practically adults, they really did act like kids sometimes.

One new DM, from Red_Robin.

Red_Robin: Hey!! Question: how do you feel about a skateboard?

“You’ve never even touched a skateboard.” Cassie said, reading the message. Kon shrugged.

Superboy: HOLY SHIT HI, I feel like it’s gonna be an awesome custom!

“You’ve fucked yourself.” Cassie said flatly. “You’ve never even looked at a skateboard, let alone customized one.”

“Yep!” Kon replied cheerfully. “Well, you know, always a first time for everything?”

Cassie turned back to the stream, unimpressed. “You’ve fucked up before, if that’s what you mean.”

“Wh – hey!”

Chapter Text

The thing about streaming was that everybody assumed Tim was rich off of it. 

He was rich, but that was an entirely separate thing. 

He’d started when he was a bored, lonely kid in his too big house, when no one would really care if he screamed too loud at a horror game, or if he talked his way through the night. Nowadays, he was a lot less bored, and a lot less lonely, but he’d gone from one big house to another, and could still talk into the small hours without anyone yelling at him to shut up. But there had been one major change to his streams -

“Chat, I’m not getting Cass in here just because you’re all in love with her.” he smiled fondly at the messages going at the speed of light, the light from his monitors illuminating his face. About half of them were his sister’s name, the other half were just the word PLEASE over and over again. 

“It’s late , guys, she’s asleep.” Tim lied, because Cass was just as much of an insomniac as he was, and it was barely creeping into eight o'clock. When he’d first been adopted by the Waynes, Cassandra was already well-liked by the public. Then, she’d crashed one of his streams to give him a hug, because was like a cat with her affection - random, and dangerously cuddly - and the internet at large had fallen hard. 

Of course, they’d done the exact same with Dick, and Jason, and Duke, and Damian (though that was more of a he’s so cute! Universal little brother! thing and not thirsty, thank god) and Barbra the few times she’d made an appearance. And even Bruce , one memorable time, but if Tim thought about that, his head would explode. Because, ew. That’s his dad.

Then, with ten dollars attached, came the donation -

Impulse donated 10$!

Timmmmmmm watch conners videos with us

Tim snorted. He should’ve never trusted Bart with the knowledge he’d binged the entirety of Superboy’s videos in two days - Bart was an evil, evil villain, and would publicly humiliate him. He should’ve known. His best friend was truly cruel.

And also a godsend, because that was exactly what Tim wanted to do.

Bart was also a content creator, though he barely had the attention span to stream, so he was mostly on YouTube. The amount of times Tim had been roped into something utterly insane for the sake of 'it'll be such good content, come on Timmy!' was truly insane. Whilst Tim and Steph stuck mostly to video games, Bart was all over the place. Games, reviews, pranks, challenges, video essays, all of it could be found on his channel.

“Okay, okay, if you insist ,” Tim said, already pulling up YouTube, and selecting the playlist of Conner’s videos that he’d favourited. He’d only watched the jacket video on stream, but there were so many good ones to choose from. He hummed as he scanned the playlist, debating which video would please the ever-hungry chat. His personal favourite were the ones that were a little closer to vlogs, seeing through a small window into Conner and Cassie's lives, drenched in sunshine and colourful fresh paint over bricks. But the chat...

“Okay, how about… ignore how I’ve watched all of them already,” Tim felt himself flush slightly as he scanned the small red lines at the bottom of every thumbnail. “How about this one? This is one of my absolute favourites.” he selected the video titled Giving Krypto a custom collar!! It was one of his favourites, but he wanted to selfishly hoard his actual favourite to himself. Not that he could stop anyone else from watching it, but... not on stream.

“Prepare for a cute dog, chat. Actually, not just cute, literally a walking cloud adorable .” Tim warned, smiling, as the video began, and a giant white blob of fur jumped into the frame.

Krypto, Conner’s dog, sniffed the camera, and appropriately, the chat was flooded with AWWWWW s and PUPPY s, which was an accurate transcript of Tim’s mind when he’d first seen the video. Krypto was a massive Samoyed, with big brown eyes, and the cutest expression a dog could ever have permanently across his face.

A tan hand delved into the mass of white fur, and tugged Krypto back from the camera, showing the smiling face of Cassie - Conner’s roommate and co-owner of the channel, even though it was really Conner’s before her’s - who was calling Krypto a ‘little terror’, even though the fondness in her voice was telling.

“Cassie! Be nice to my dog!” a voice called from off-screen - the video cut to Conner picking up the camera, and angling it so the viewer could see Krypto panting happily against Conner’s chest; and if a shocking amount of his brown collarbones showed through the neckhole of his loose, ragged Metallica shirt - well, sue Tim if he stared. It was distracting.

“He’s so cute, chat,” Tim muttered to himself, not entirely sure if he was talking about Krypto, or Conner. 

“Hey everyone! So, this walking marshmallow is my boy, my son , Krypto! He’s four years old, and the messiest dog ever, even if he doesn’t look like it.” Conner giggled a bit as he scratched behind Krypto’s ears. He angled the camera down to see Krypto’s dark blue, fraying collar. “But he’s a damn good boy, and he needs a new collar. Let’s get started!” Conner placed a quick kiss against the flat of Krypto’s head, and the video cut again.

Now, it showed Conner frowning at a row of collars in a pet store. “They’re not good enough, they need to be perfect.” 

“Kon, just pick one.” Cassie laughed from behind the camera. “You’re gonna make it pretty anyway, right?” 

“ Yeah, but…” Conner groaned, and shook his head. “We’re getting multiple. Fuck it.” as Cassie cackled, turning the camera to herself to show a mildly unflattering angle of her laughing face, short blonde hair bouncing as she wheezed.

Tim’s donation notification pinged, and he looked over to his second monitor to read it. 

arthurr donated 6$

Wait thats my local petsmart. Is he in frisco??

Tim’s eyes widened. “I don’t know, I know he’s in California. Maybe!” he smiled, and looked back to the video, which was now showing a short montage of Conner and Cassie buying and recycling materials from past projects. “I know he lives by the beach…”

corvidspectre donated 3$

lmao have you been stalking him red

Tim flushed. “ No! He mentions it on his Instagram, thank you.” he defended, flashing a quick middle finger at the camera. “I am being perfectly normal about my new comfort creator, chat. I only stalked his profile for an hour, I'll have you all know." and, well, he had, but he neglected to inform his chat that he'd been doing that for at least a week already. 

The chat immediately responded with message after message of ‘sure, tim’ or ‘no one believes you robin’, but that was par for the course. Tim rolled his eyes, and let the video play as he watched, enraptured, by Conner stitching together blue and red fabric, and attaching a little gold charm to a collar to make it ‘perfect’. It was even in a cute little triangle shape, the same as Conner's icon.

“Okay, so I made a whole new collar, but… I think he needs something a little fancier, too.” Conner grinned mischievously, and flashed a bolt of red fabric. “We’re making Krypto a Superdog!”

Mercuryfalling donated 7$
Im obsessed with how he spoils his dog

“God, me too .” Tim groaned, smiling brightly. “My dog - sorry, Damian’s dog, gets spoilt too, but I think Dames would kill me if I put a cape on Titus.” he leant back in his chair, and smiled at the images of Conner chasing Krypto down a long beach, red cape flapping in the breeze and the camera shaking slightly from Cassie running after him. It looked incredibly idyllic, even if Tim looked at Conner's truly tragic flipflops, and the way he could spy small groups of dried, rotting seaweed across the sand.

“That’s my favourite video, chat, for good reason. I’m a slut for good dog content.” Tim hummed. “I really wish I could meet Krypto in real life, I reckon he’d be super cuddly. Pardon the pun.” 

ghostfaeries donated 10$

whos better krypto or conner

Tim gasped in mock outrage. “Don’t make me pick! That’s like asking me to choose which brother to kill - wait, no, it isn’t.” Tim grinned. “I’d kill Jason, easy. Okay, let me rephrase, that’s like asking me to pick between Cass and Dick!” 

As if on cue, there was a sudden knock on Tim’s door, which creaked open on its own, to reveal Cass’s face poking out. “What about me?”

“I wouldn’t shoot you.” Tim said simply. “Come over here and make me money.” he beckoned her over, standing up and letting Cass take the chair. “Look, everyone, it's your beloved!” he gestured to Cass, almost framing her with his hand movements.

The chat erupted with chants of her name, and she laughed softly. “Hi chat, nice to see you too. I just got back from ballet practice.”

“We were just watching Superboy’s stuff again - which is far more important.” Tim attempted to sit on the arm of the chair, but quickly decided against it, feeling it wobble under his weight. “Did you know - oh, wait , I don’t think I can say this.”

Cass turned to him, and raised her eyebrows. “Oh?”

“Well… he may be making something for me.” Tim smiled innocently, and faced the camera. “No one spread that. That’s a secret between me, Cass, Conner, and all forty thousand of you. Okay?”

He and Cass spent a few more minutes just talking to the chat, answering some questions, and even planning a stream where Tim taught Cass how to play some games - because in her own words, she was an ‘ abject failure at anything that wasn’t Animal Crossing’ .

And when Tim checked his phone at the end of the night, to see a DM from Conner, consisting of a single picture of a blank skateboard, and the eyes emoji - if he was unreasonably excited about that, only Cass would’ve heard his squeal.

Chapter Text

Tim (he/him) ✓ (@red_robinofficial)

Hey would anyone mind if all my streams from now on were just @Superboy video reactions. 

[replying to @red_robinofficial]

Waffle enthusiast ✓ (@spoileralert)

yeah id mind. react to me too :( 

Conner (he/they) (@superboy13)

would anyone want to see a pic of krypto this morning he looks so pathetic 

[replying to @superboy13]

Waffle enthusiast ✓ (@spoileralert)

show me rn. Im begging

[replying to @spoileralert]

Conner (he/they) (@superboy13)

sadwetbeast.png

[replying to @superboy13]

Tim (he/him) ✓ (@red_robinofficial)

literally me

Conner hated skateboards. He wanted to throw this damn thing against a wall, grab a hammer and smash it into the wood until it was nothing but splinters.

“So? How’s your week been?” Clark’s voice asked warmly as Kon glared daggers at Red Robin - Tim’s skateboard. Kon sighed, his voice crackling down the phone line. 

“It’s been kinda weird, actually.” Kon murmured as he twirled the dry paintbrush in his hand. He’d already dipped and dyed the wheels, and they were currently drying on the kitchen side, bright gold with Kon’s signature across one. Now he just needed to paint the deck …

Then, of course, he was going to spray-paint the trucks, but the new cans he’d ordered were stuck in Minnesota of all places, and Kon did not want to accidentally use the wrong shade of red, because this was for Tim . Plus, he was messing around with grip tape, and he barely had any idea with what he was doing with that -

“How so? Jon’s been telling me you’ve been all over… uh, what’s that livestreaming website?”

“Twitch.” Kon replied, glaring at the deck of the skateboard. The design was simple, but it was also symmetrical , which meant it had to be as neat as possible. “Yeah, one of my customs got noticed by this big streamer, he’s watched some of my stuff on his streams and I guess a lot of people like my content now.” he shifted, pressing his phone between his ear and shoulder. 

“That’s great! Do you have any current projects?” 

“Yep. Skateboard, for said streamer. I’m having a hard time with it, though.” Kon bit his tongue as he dipped his brush in white acrylic, and began to paint over the wood. “I’ve never done anything with a skateboard, like, what if I don’t screw the pieces together right, and he like - I don't know, dies or something?”

“Then I’ll send you money for a decent lawyer.” Clark chuckled. “How’s Krypto been? Eaten any chargers again?”

“That was one time! ” Kon whined, painting the basecoat with more ferocity. “And he’s fine , dad, he loves it here. He’s been eating sand and fighting the ocean.”

“Good to hear. And Cassandra?”

“You can call her Cassie.” Kon reminded him. “I promise you, she does not care. And she’s good - she got promoted the other day. She can actually touch old museum shit now.”

“Oh, fascinating. Don’t let Krypto see any of those dinosaur bones.”

“She’s in the Classical Greece Artifacts section, but I’ll let her know.” Kon hummed. “How’s mom? How’s Jon?”

“Mom’s good, Jon got a part in his school play. Do you think you’ll come watch?”

Kon smiled brightly as he finished the first coat of white, and leant back, taking his phone from his shoulder and holding it properly. “Oh, fuck yeah I am. What play is it?”

“The Wizard of Oz, he’s going to be the lion.” and then, even though he couldn’t see his father’s face, he could practically hear the frown that dulled his expression. “Listen, Kon… Lex called.”

Kon froze, a pit of dread opening in his stomach. “...Why?”

“Said he wanted to visit you, asked if we could give him your address.” Clark said, a slight edge in his voice. No one was particularly fond of Lex Luthor, especially with the… interesting way he’d taken Kon in. Clark having him at an early age, putting him in the foster care system with the intent of keeping in touch, of being a dad when he was ready , able to support himself and Kon, and Conner being swept away and kept in the dark about his real family for a while. Not to mention the… other stuff - but Luthor was a billionaire, which meant the rest of the world’s laws and ideas of morality did not apply. 

“Please tell me you told him I was still in Hawaii.” Kon asked, uncomfortably aware of how small his own voice sounded. Clark made a small noise of discomfort. 

“I didn’t say that. I said that it wasn’t his business, and hung up. I just thought you should know you might be getting some calls about him soon. You know what he’s like.”

“Yeah, I do.” Kon muttered. “Okay, I’ll warn Cassie. Thanks for the heads-up.”

“Anytime. And remember, if you want to get away for a while -”

“I can fake my death and hide in the barn,” Kon smiled, mood lightened. It was an old joke between the family, if anyone wanted a quick break from life, the Kent family barn was open and ready for business for any would-be ‘dead’ people. “I know. I love you.”

“Love you too son. Now, I’m actually… late for a meeting-”

“Go, go!” Kon urged as they shared a few more goodbyes before the line went dead. 

Kon wanted to spontaneously combust, right then and there. He was twenty-one , he was a full adult that could do drugs and buy a car and be professional and shit. He didn’t need fucking Lex coming into San Francisco and pretending he cared again.

As if on cue, the door opened, and Kon heard the familiar sound of Krypto’s nails on their floor. He smiled as Cassie walked in, effortlessly carrying their groceries with her demi-god strength - he was only half-joking with that, as apparently her grandfather had been named Zeus, even if he wasn’t the real deal - on the phone, and nodding excitedly. 

“Okay, I just got in, so I’ll tell him. Love you!” Cassie dumped their groceries on the kitchen counter, and blew a kiss at her phone screen, before ending the call. “Guess who’s throwing a party!”

“Surely not our friend who’s birthday is next week.” Kon fought the urge to go into his room, and check the jacket he’d embroidered for Greta wasn’t suddenly falling apart. 

“Shut up,” Cassie tossed a stick of gum at him, which he caught easily. “Greta’s throwing it herself this time, no Anita or Slobo annoying her into it at all!”

“Impossible,” Conner popped the first wad of gum into his mouth - ooh, strawberry flavour, yum! - “Cissie convinced her. It’s the only way.”

Cassie hummed as she flopped onto the couch next to him. “She is flying back from Tokyo early for it, so possibly.” she grinned, and leant against his side. “How’s the board going?”

“I want to compress myself into a gif.” Kon answered eloquently, sending the offending item a glare. “I hate it.”

“Aw, come on. It can’t be that bad.” Cassie yelped as Krypto leapt on her, and promptly snuggled into her side, cold wet nose in her ribs and everything. Kon laughed at them, and frowned at the board again.

“It’s just really giving me creative blockage. I wish I could actually ask Tim what he thought, but I want it to be a surprise.”

“Why don’t you just message him?” Cassie suggested. “He knows your style, that you’re making a board, does it really have to be all shrouded in mystery?”

Kon bit his lip, and sighed. “Okay, fine .”

Conner (he/they):

hey!! do you mind giving ur opinion on the board so far? ive only done most of the hardware but i have a lot of concept art

Tim (he/him): 

hi hi yes i’d love to! 

Conner (he/they):

ok awesome here they are!

*three photos were sent*

Tim (he/him): 

holy shit i’m in love

that’s so fucking cool

can you customise everything ever for me please

Conner (he/they):

LMAO only if u pay me

this one is free though just for you x

Tim (he/him): 

oh i feel so special tysm

also hey weird question

why are you mutuals with an olympic athlete

Conner (he/they):

oh cissie? we were engaged

Tim (he/him): 

i’m. What

Conner (he/they): 

im joking our parents knew each other as kids 

although i think they did talk about us getting married in the future so 

who knows we could be engaged and no one told us

Tim (he/him): 

Oh my god thats hilarious? 

loving the random conner lore

Conner (he/they):

heres more for you; and you can’t tell anyone this, i’m actually from kansas

Tim (he/him):

WHAT

i never would’ve guessed

you don’t have an accent like at all

Conner (he/they): 

yeah i know lol

but theres ur conner lore for today. childhood bestie won gold for the usa last year and im a cowboy

Tim (he/him): 

country boy i love u

Conner (he/they): 

DFGHJK

“Lex is bothering me again.” Conner mumbled, hoping the swish of fabric would smother his voice.

“Lex is what? ” Anita asked, voice sharp. “I swear to God, if he doesn’t -” she glared at the washing machine, and paced around the laundromat bench angrily. “I hate his guts . Can’t he just leave you alone?”

“Apparently not.” Cassie commented, sat on one of the unoccupied machines. It was a Wednesday night, and that meant laundry day. Which meant it was also the weekly ‘let’s all complain about shit as we wash our clothes’ day.

Greta hummed from where she thumbed through the same old magazines that’d been there since the beginning of time. “I still say you could get him to pay your tuition if you wanted to go back to school.”

“Ew, no.” Conner wrinkled his nose. “That means I’d actually owe him.” 

There was a quiet murmur of agreement amongst the girls. Normally, Slobo would be here too, but he was off at some kind of music film horror festival that Conner had never heard of. He was definitely coming back with some gory films to watch after, though, so Conner couldn’t complain.

“I’ll throw an urn at him.” Cassie decided. Anita snorted. 

“Shitty dad gossip aside,” she continued, fiddling with her coily hair. “Cass, how is the museum work going?” 

Cassie hummed. “It’s going fine, I guess. I’m still mostly teaching middle-schoolers about Greek mythos, and breaking their little Percy Jackson obsessed hearts.” 

“Does your cruelty know no bounds?” Greta grinned out from her white lashes. Greta was in Cassie’s anthropology classes, and Conner was not proud to admit when he first met her, he’d asked her if she was cosplaying a ghost. In his defence , he didn’t know she had albinism. She’d been wearing some kind of long, floaty white dress, and she really had looked a bit like a ghost.

He still wanted to die a little bit inside, whenever he remembered that.

“I keep quiet about the Dionysian mystery cult ripping people apart, don’t worry.” Cassie giggled. 

“Middle schoolers love that kind of stuff, right?” Anita crouched down to stare at her clothes spinning in the machine. Kon was oddly reminded of the aquarium, those domed windows that curved into the tanks. 

“Yeah, but their teachers don’t.” Cassie reminded her, gently bumping the white toe of her converse against Anita’s wrist. “I don’t wanna get fired because some history teacher thinks I’m corrupting the youth.”

“You should be promoted for corrupting the youth.” Greta chimed in. “I think that’s the point of museums, isn’t it? Forbidden knowledge and all that.” she looked up from the magazine - Vogue, 1997 - and smiled serenely. 

“You’ve been watching Night at The Museum again, haven’t you.” Conner elbowed her gently. “Or reading The Book Thief .”

“ Book Thief .” Greta confirmed. She frowned as Conner’s phone screen lit up yet again, and picked it up, squinting at the notification. 

“You need to make your text bigger.” she said, handing it over. Conner murmured something in agreement, and felt the warm smile spread on his face as he realised the text was from Tim.

The machine pinged, signalling that Anita's darks were done. “Kon, your turn.”

Cissie King-Jones ✓ (@cissieking_jones)

Congratulations to @superboy13 for finally getting to 100,000 subscribers on YouTube, it’s been a long time coming, and I’m glad to see you succeed :) 

[replying to @cissieking_jones]

Conner (he/they) (@superboy13)

thanks queen <3

[replying to @cissieking_jones]

Waffle enthusiast ✓ (@spoileralert)

WHAT. IS GOING ON.

Waffle enthusiast ✓ (@spoileralert)

tims youtube crush is apparently friends with gold medal winning archery woman cissie king-jones. what is life. what if i combusted right here

Chapter Text

“Steph, please.” Tim whined, banging his head against the desk. “I’m begging you, don’t do this.”

Steph grinned - he couldn’t see it, but he knew .

Years of friendship, discarded. The ultimate betrayal. Tim could feel nausea and dread rolling in his gut, prayed to whichever god he’d hope would listen for mercy. He couldn't die like this, not after so many years of his short life were wasted, wasted on trying to befriend the monster which held the sword to his neck. His judge, his jury, his executioner.

“Draw four cards, Tim.”

He never should’ve let his siblings stream with him, he never should’ve suggested Uno , he never should’ve agreed to this public humiliation -

“I’ve also got a draw four,” Dick said, smiling from across the room where he was using Tim’s spare computer. Tim wanted to shriek and throw his microphone at him. Instead, he groaned again.

“This is the third time,” he wailed, in a very manly manner. “The third time I have been denied Uno! Come on! ” his chat was going at lightning speed, laughing at his misery. “I am begging-”

“Draw four.” Cass added. Steph whooped as Tim died, gurgling metaphorical blood as he collapsed into his chair. He was surrounded by laughter as he pressed the button which forced the next player’s turn, collecting his twelve, miserable cards. That game ended explosively as Duke came running into Tim’s room, covered his eyes and yelled at Dick to run over and make him deliberately lose the game. Tim promptly kicked the two of them out, fighting his own mildly hysterical laughter.

“Fuck you all,” Tim stated flatly. “I’m getting someone nice to play with.”

“We are nice.” Jason protested. “Aren’t we, Dames?”

“It’s not our fault Timothy can’t play a card game to save his life.” Damian agreed. Tim loved his brothers so much , but god did he want to give into the Cain instinct at some point in the near future. Maybe not with a rock, a pillow would do. A pillow full of legos.

“I’m getting someone who is actually nice.” Tim said, pulling up Twitter, and hesitating as he stared at his Discord tag, automatically copied and pasted into the message bar. He shut his brain off, and let himself type out something stupid like “please help me they are bullying me” and hit send. 

Ten minutes later, a new member joined their voice call.

“Hello?” Steph asked, as the new member joined their Uno lobby. “Who’ve you gotten, then? Is it Bart?”

“Uh, actually,” and that was when Tim knew, he was fucked. Royally and utterly fucked. Genuinely and truly screwed over in a way he would not recover from easily. 

“My name is Conner, but you can call me Kon…?” his voice was soft, thick with a West Coast accent, his microphone quality a little crackly, and Tim was in love. He wanted to hear him talk more. He wanted to hear him laugh. He’d heard his voice before, obviously, but hearing it right next to him, in real time - god, Tim wanted to melt in it.

“ CALIFORNIA BOY?! ” Steph shrieked, so loud and high pitched that her microphone cut out around the last few syllables. And, like a dream come true, Conner spluttered with laughter. 

“Holy shit.” Cass said eloquently. “He’s real.”

“Can confirm, I am real.” Conner laughed. “I do have to warn you all, though. I am amazing at Uno .”

“Just as I’d hoped!” Tim commented, breaking the spell, and blinking away the anime effects he totally wasn’t imagining. He was still on stream , he could go insane later. “Now, chat, this is Superboy from all my recent streams, and Twitter, and probably like - what, Roblox? I forget what social media I actually use these days.”

“You’ve been playing Roblox without me?” Steph teased lightly. “Anyway, I have Cass on my team, so I’m gonna win.”

“Teams? We’re doing teams?” Conner asked, voice steady even as Tim watched a short message of I don’t actually know how to play uno D: came through. He fought the urge to laugh.

“Yeah, team Tim vs Everyone Else.” Jason said, incredibly seriously. “It’s the esports event of the year.”

“I’m team Tim, then.” Conner laughed, as the game began. “We’ll kick your asses.”

For someone who reportedly couldn’t play Uno, Conner was surprisingly devastating and ruthless with his draw fours. Tim actually heard Jason wail from across the manor. 

“Thank you all for watching!” Tim announced, jokingly blowing kisses at his webcam. “And remember, don’t actually cancel my brothers on Twitter, I can beat all of them up without the social media harassment.”

There was laughter from both Steph and Kon, the only people remaining in their little voice-chat as Tim bade his chat a final goodbye. 

“You should do a martial arts stream.” Steph said, once the stream was officially over. “ Actually beat your brothers up.”

“Wait, you weren’t joking?” Kon asked quietly, and Tim felt the back of his neck begin to sweat. 

“Uh, yeah. I’m a blackbelt in karate and judo, and I'm working on my tae kwon do.” he explained haltingly. “Bruce kinda has a thing about us picking at least one martial art to learn. A lot of us Wayne kids picked multiple.”

“Cass and I have dambe lessons together. We’re actually planning a trip to Nigeria soon, to learn from some really skilled professionals.” Steph added. “Tim and Jason both do judo, Dick and Jason do Brazilian jiu-jitsu, Dick and Damian go to muay lao lessons - and Cass also wants to start learning kajukenbo.” Steph listed off. “Oh, and Duke is a boxer.”

“And Damian does like, five different sword fighting lessons.” Tim added. Kon was very, very quiet. Tim felt the horrible notion that he'd actually scared him for a second, before-

“You guys are terrifying .” he breathed, almost in awe. “I’ve heard of kajukenbo, it’s Hawaiian, right?”

“Yeah! We went on vacation there last month, and Cass saw a showcase of it and fell in love.” Tim added quickly, full of relief that Kon wasn't terrified of his insane family of mixed martial artists.

“I used to watch Kay try that out a few times.” he mused. “When I still lived in Honolulu. I think she got kicked out, though.”

“You used to live in Honolulu? That’s so cool!” Steph said enthusiastically, as Tim caught on the name ‘Kay’. Who was she? A friend? A girlfriend? A girlfriend Kon might still be dating?

Wait. No, bad Tim. He was a friend . A friend who was ridiculously hot, but a friend.

“Yeah, yeah! It was fun.” Kon said cheerfully. “I’m definitely happier in ‘Frisco, though.”

“Who’s Kay?” Tim blurted out, before he could hold himself back. He mentally cursed himself out as Kon made a humming noise, and in his own awkwardness, he missed the discomfort in the tone.

“Ah, Kay? She’s… an old friend, I guess. Or an ex. It’s complicated - we fell out of touch.” he explained quickly. “Yeah, I don’t know. Anyway, it was really fun talking to you guys, but Krypto is whining for a walk.”

“Walk your puppy!” Steph called, as Kon disconnected. Tim fought the urge to bite his tongue and slam his head on his desk. 

“So. How was that?” he asked weakly. Steph snorted.

“You useless, hopeless bisexual.” she said, and Tim could practically hear the smirk on her face. 

“I’m not hopeless .” he countered, ignoring how he was not denying the ‘useless’ part. “How did any of that behaviour indicate my hopelessness?”

“ Who’s Kay? ” Steph mimicked in a whiny, high pitched voice. “ Pwease tell me she’s not your giwlfwend, Mr California Boy! ” 

“I don’t sound like that.” Tim shot back.

“You do too.” Steph argued. “Plus, the martial arts? You were so bragging.”

“No! Not bragging!” Tim denied. “I was just… showing off a little, I guess.”

“See.” Steph tutted. “Peacocking. Even worse.”

“ You’re a peacock.” Tim muttered, before he hit the ‘leave’ button.

Okay, maybe he’d been peacocking a tiny bit. He wanted Kon to think he was cool, and not a total loser like how he actually was. Kon was a beautiful, artistic, cowboy who’d lived in Hawaii and had complicated past relationships with probably beautiful women and lived with an awesome dog and a cool best friend. He didn’t need to know Tim lived on energy drinks, takeout, and external validation from the internet. 

“Timothy,” Damian poked his small, spikey head into Tim’s room. “Father wanted me to remind you of the gala next week.”

“The one with Lex Luthor?” Tim asked exhaustedly. He hated Luthor - he was so cocky, and arrogant, and Tim fully understood the need to eat the rich when it came to him . Bruce, at least, was fighting to make sure every Wayne Corp. employee from every branch imaginable was earning a living wage. Lex Luthor probably ate babies, or something.

Plus, he'd been casually racist about Roma people to Dick's face. How Dick, or Bruce, had not socked him in the jaw yet was a true miracle of patience and tolerance. Tim was waiting for an excuse for him to say anything bad about the Arabic language, or the Middle East in general, so Damian could go wild.

“Unfortunately.” Damian scrunched his nose in disgust. “Apparently, Luthor is bringing his son.”

“I didn’t know he even had a son.” Tim murmured, turning back to his computer screen. “He’s never mentioned one before.”

“Maybe he was a long lost child. All the best people are.” Damian said, his shit-eating grin spreading on his face. Tim, maturely, threw a wadded up sock at him.

tired (@not_redrobin) 🔒

auoughauhghhgghhh

[replying to @not_redrobin)

beanie baby incarnate (@no_spoilers) 🔒

Are you having a stroke

[replying to @no_spoilers]

tired (@not_redrobin) 🔒

yeah sure

tired (@not_redrobin) 🔒

anyway is it stalking if i look up who lex luthors kid is

tired (@not_redrobin) 🔒

oh my god what if he like tries to arrange a marriage between me and his kid bc he knows im bi i'd VOMIT

tired (@not_redrobin) 🔒

unless his kid is somehow conner superboy then like fuck yeah but auuhgbhahh

Chapter Text

“Okay,” Slobo bounced on the old couch, grinning ear to ear, yesterday’s corpse paint still clinging to his face. “I’ve got options. Cabin Fever , the original Hellraiser , Jennifer’s Body, and this new one, called Piggy .” he held the battered DVD cases in his hands, splayed like cards. “Choose wisely.”

Kon hummed, as Cassie swore at their microwave as it beeped in distress. “ Hellraiser . Oh, god, wait, is this one of the weird ones?”

“Alien BDSM puzzle cult.” Slobo confirmed with a wicked twinkle in his eye. Kon silently said goodbye to his peaceful night’s sleep, because that would be haunting his dreams. “Not a bad pick.”

“I take it back. Cabin Fever , please.” Kon tried his best to give Slobo his big baby brown puppy eyes, but from across the room, Greta laughed. Anita had always said he looked like he was trying to hide a laugh whenever he tried it.

“You mean one of the goriest films ever made?” Slobo raised an eyebrow. “Alright man, your call.” 

Kon sobbed, in an incredibly brave, masculine way. “Come on! Please? Something nice? Something not all that scary? For Cassie’s sake!”

“ Cabin Fever ? I love that movie.” Cassie interrupted eagerly, a big smile on her face and a true behemoth of a popcorn bowl in her hands, overflowing with said popped corn. Kon had never hated her more than in that moment.

“...Fine.” Kon muttered, delegating himself to the best position on the couch to hide from terrifying movies. Movie night had been an amazing idea, when it first started, and Kon hadn’t realised all his friends were freaks who adored horror movies and weren’t scared of them even a little bit. 

He shuffled over as Greta sat down next to him, and covered his perpetually cold feet with her long cardigan. Their couch was far too small for all six of them - including Cissie - but they made it work through sheer force of will. It involved Kon being sat on a lot, but that was fine. 

He pulled his phone out from the Rat King of legs beginning in the centre of the couch, and pulled up the Discord app on his phone. 

superrboy13

help my friends are making me watch scary movies

redrobin

aw poor baby 

redrobin

which movie?

superrboy13

Cabin fever and hellraiser

redrobin

Whoever picked those has GOOD taste

redrobin 

Well maybe not cabin fever it felt a little too saw/hostel torture porn for me but hellraiser is classic horror and honestly? The special effects are to die for man

superrboy13

oh no you’re a film nerd

redrobin 

no i’m worse. i’m a horror nerd

redrobin

my favourite film of all time is childs play

superrboy13

Thats the one with the murder doll right

redrobin

oh my god i need to make you watch those movies

redrobin 

for tiffany valentine if no one else

Kon smiled at his screen as Tim began typing and sending messages at a truly terrifying speed, detailing to him the intricacies of the ‘Chucky’ franchise, even as he ignored the screaming and bloody squelches coming from the TV.

-

Kon stared at his email, and tried to not be sick.

Conner Luthor,

Yep, no, nevermind. He couldn’t do this. He needed to call Clark, or Lois, or - or someone, who would actually be awake at six in the goddamn morning. He just felt nauseous, fingers shaking as he scrolled through his options. 

It occurred to him that it was currently about nine in the morning in New Jersey. Tim might be awake. 

Yeah, no. Absolutely not. It was a nice idea, but he’d spoken to Tim over the phone a whopping two times . He opened his messages with him regardless.

A text wouldn’t be so heinous, right? Maybe he was still amped up from all those horror films last night - Megan Fox ripping teenage boys apart with her teeth was always an exciting sight, in his humble opinion.

He exhaled, and looked down at his phone. Tim was active, and had sent him something whilst Kon was asleep. Tentatively, Kon tapped the notification. 

It was a selfie - Tim was in a loose-fitting taekwondo uniform, waving at himself in a mirror - behind him was what appeared to be a fully traditional dojo. He was grinning widely, and the accompanying message was, “ apparently i punch wrong wtf!! ” followed by a torrent of rolling eye emojis.

It was silly enough to make Kon smile, and forget about the poisonous email on his laptop for a moment. He reacted with a heart, and Tim, ever the lurker, started typing immediately.

redrobin

ayo you’re up early

superrboy13

Yeah haha

Its the farmer in me

Sun’s up i’m up

redrobin

Okay remind me to never take you to sweden in midsummer

superrboy13

ah yes bc you were going to do that

redrobin

I might’ve done

redrobin

Life advice from someone who is. Like a couple months older than you

Never do martial arts

superrboy13

Did you get punched in the face

redrobin

KICKED

My NOSE kon it was awful

Tim quickly sent another picture - this was clearly later than the other one, as his hair was moist with sweat, and he was pressing a large wad of toilet paper to his nose, which was gushing bright red.

redrobin

Im fine btw i get nosebleeds a lot bc of my ~delicate sinuses~ or something but like on my NEW UNIFORM??

superrboy13

rip

sorry if i’m not that energetic my ex-dad messaged

and i dont like seeing you with blood on ur face

redrobin

oh how sweet <3

Forgive the prying but wdym by ex-dad?

Only if you’re comfy sharing ofc!!

superrboy13

sure if you don’t mind the slight trauma dump

redrobin

if you want i can share one too

just so we’re on even footing

superrboy13

lmao okay

so uhhhhhhhhh my dad, like my actual dad, had me pretty young

and my bio mom like. dropped out of the picture like immediately. 

and he was still in high school and my grandparents were already older so he put me in foster care

the IDEA was that we’d see each other every week and i’d basically bounce back and forth between him and my foster parents until he was financially stable and all

my foster dad had different ideas? 

redrobin

Oh shit

superrboy13

I won’t go into it but basically didn’t meet my actual dad until i was like 12 and ended up in hawai’i. i met my STEPMOM before him

redrobin

Shit man

yeah being upset over him messaging you is so fair

what an ASSHOLE

Kon smiled to himself. It was validating, really, whenever he talked about Lex and someone reacted by thinking of him as a supervillain. 

superrboy13

okay your turn

redrobin 

noooo mine is so boring compared to urs

superrboy13

pleaseeeeeeee?

redrobin

if i have no choice

uhhh when i was ten my parents went on a two month vacation and forgot to tell me. And thats why i know how to make pasta when you cant reach the stove

to hawai’i ironically

superrboy13

damn both our parents suck

redrobin

my adoptive dad is awesome and urs sucks. what a pair we make

superrboy13

legit tho thanks for talking about it w/ me

esp as we’re not that close

redrobin

well we’re close NOW

Kon exhaled heavily, smiling. He leant forward on the couch, and deleted the email, refusing to read anymore of the damn thing. 

superrboy13

friendship speedrun!

Tim reacted to his message with a heart, and Kon could feel a wave of exhaustion come over him. God, even picking at the scab of trauma was so tiring, he wanted to go back to sleep for three million hours. 

Blearily, Krypto stumbled into the living room, shaking himself and doing absolutely nothing to make himself look more awake. Kon patted the couch cushion next to him.

Krypto jumped onto the couch, the only bit of energy he was able to muster this early in the morning. He pressed his white, fluffy head into Kon’s thigh. Kon quickly snapped a picture of his sleepy, marshmallow-esque beast, and sent it to Tim.

superrboy13

i dont need martial arts, ive fought off this thing when ive dropped cake on the ground

redrobin

Give him cake!!!!!

Kon sunk down further into his old couch, and maneuvered Krypto to lean on his chest. Originally, he had wanted to train Krypto as a service dog, but, even though Samoyeds were meant to be smart, Krypto was kinda dumb. And Kon was also kinda dumb, so eventually, he gave up. But having his dog’s big heavy weight on his chest was something that always made him feel better, and he needed it right now.

He buried his hands in the soft white fur, and allowed the warmth of both California and his dog to lull him back to sleep. Whatever - he could call Clark and Lois later.

Chapter Text

Fourteen years ago, an eight year old Conner Luthor kicked the pool in front of him. He watched as the too-blue water scattered over itself, ripples forming and brushing against his ankles. Greece was beautiful - even at eight he could recognise that. It was hot, and the rolling mountains of Crete behind him casted deep shadows. He probably would’ve loved it, and be desperately trying to sketch it onto whatever paper he could find - if it weren’t for who he was with.

“Of course I understand that,” Lex said, sighing. Conner traced the angle of the mountains with his eyes. He’d wanted to go swimming , but Lex had to take calls again, and he wasn’t allowed to make noise whilst he did. And Lex didn’t like him bringing his sketchbook and pencils anywhere in public. Conner kind of hated this big, private resort. It had over a thousand rooms, but it was the off-season, and only three families - including his own - were staying there. It just felt like such a big waste.

“No, I can’t do that.” Lex’s voice gained a note of anger. Conner tensed instinctively, imagining his light eyes narrowing in disgust. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Conner stood, carefully, to avoid his feet squeaking on the tile, and looked towards Lex, eyes darting towards the staircase that led to the children’s pool. Lex waved his hand from the sunbed, nodding. Conner took off, his bare feet slapping against the tiles loudly. He cringed at the sound, but Lex was already talking again, and he wanted to swim . 

The children’s pool was empty, save for one little boy floating around on a donut shaped floaty. It even had sprinkles and icing printed on it. Conner tried to avoid his eyes, even as he dipped into the shallow end, making towards the mushroom shaped sprinklers. He’d love to make a friend, but Lex would get angry, probably. It felt like anything he did that he liked made Lex angry. 

“Hi.” the boy said, floating towards Conner on his donut floaty. “I like your trunks.” he had big blue eyes. But they were nicer than Lex’s - a bit warmer, more like the sea. He had choppy black hair that was splayed on his face, wet.

Conner looked down at his bright blue trunks - they were printed with a bright, tropical pattern around the hem. “Thanks. I like your floaty.”

“Do you wanna try it?” The boy asked, eyes going wide. Despite the bright sun, he was very pale. He either hadn’t been in Greece for very long, or he was like Lex, and just burnt instead of tanning. Conner nodded, and the boy slid off the floaty, splashing into the water.

“I’ll hold it still,” the boy offered, as Conner began to clamber on. He giggled as he struggled, splashing loudly. The boy laughed along with him as Conner managed to crawl on. They both shrieked as the mushroom sprinklers suddenly activated, and they were both soaked with water from above.

“I feel like a mermaid,” Conner announced, pushing himself up on his elbows, flapping his feet a little. Man, he wished he had gills. That’d be so cool. “What kinda donut do you think it is?”

“Not a jelly filled one,” the boy said, narrowing his eyes at the floaty, deep in thought over the intricacies of donut fillings. “Those don’t have holes in them, most of the time.” 

“The icing could be strawberry.” Conner offered. “It’s pink. And I think I've had a jelly donut with a hole in it before.”

The boy nodded seriously. “The icing could be strawberry, but it could just be food colouring.”

“Conner!” Lex’s voice called over the relative peace. Conner froze, just as the floaty tipped to the side - he splashed into the water, and spluttered as he tried to stand as quickly as he could.

Lex looked at him, unimpressed. “We’re going for dinner. Come on - we have to change.”

Conner nodded, already dreading having to put on one of his suits. They were so uncomfortable . He remembered his manners, and turned to the boy. “Thanks for letting me try your floaty. It was really fun!”

“Bye.” The boy said, waving sadly. Conner waved back as he struggled out of the pool, Lex already walking away. 

Conner followed Lex, dragging his feet, and hoped there’d be fries at dinner, and that Lex would let him have some. Distractedly, he realised the boy was alone. He didn't have any adults sat near or around him, and the other pool was completely deserted. 

"Conner!" Lex snapped, and he decided to speed up, and keep his head down.

Tim truly loved his sister, he did, and he wanted to support her the best he could. But he had his head in hands, and couldn’t even look at the screen. He dreaded to think of what those continuous clicks meant.

“I’m building a house, chat!” Cass said excitedly. Holding a godawful mixture of pink wool, birch wood, and cobblestone, placing every block haphazardly into a disorganised mess of a wall. Tim dared to look up, and Cass was grinning at him expectantly. 

He forced a smile. “Looks great, Cass.” he turned to the camera the second she turned back to the moniter with the game, and mouthed - “ it’s so bad ” to his chat. Cass punctuated her shitty house with an acacia door. Where did she even get that wood?

“Ta-da!” she moved slightly, to show Tim her house. Tim nodded and sucked his teeth, trying to not laugh. 

“Okay,” he said, as neutrally as possible. “Do you wanna… put stuff in it? Like a bed?”

“No,” Cass said, returning to the keyboard and pushing her character towards a small lake. “I’m gonna go fishing.”

Tim frowned. “But you don’t have a fishing rod-”

Cass jumped in, and immediately began punching a fish to death. Tim just sighed. Obviously, he was playing it up for the stream, but he was honestly feeling kind of bored. Cass was great, but she was very focused on the game and chat, and Tim was feeling a little lost. 

Superboy donated 3$! - cass pls this hurts

Tim snorted automatically as the robotic voice spelled out Kon’s message. Almost exactly as it did, he heard his phone chime. He leant over to grab it subtly and check his notifications - and smiled again when it was a notification from Kon. He’d uploaded a new video. Tim tapped on it to see the newest creation.

Red Robin Skateboard - I have no idea what I’m doing <3

Wait. His skateboard? Kon hadn’t said anything about it for a few weeks, he had quietly assumed it’d been forgotten in the chaos of his new popularity. He decided right then and there, he was not going to watch the video until he actually got the board. No surprises. He’d ask Kon about him sending it once the stream was over.

Cass cackled as she drowned. Tim turned his attention back to the game, and groaned loudly as Cass spawned back in a desert instead of the plains biome she’d set up in. 

For some reason, he kept thinking about pools and swimming. Maybe he should book a trip to San Francisco, swim in the ocean.

No other reason.

Chapter Text

The video opens with Conner grinning down at the camera. The sky is neon blue behind him.

“Hey y’all,” he says. “Are you ready to see the worst thing I’ve ever made?” he extends his camera arm to show a black, burnt cake in a pan in his other hand. He’s standing in his backyard. “I don’t even know how this happened.”

There is a quick slide transition to Conner sitting on the floor inside his room, his unmade bed clear behind him, and doodling on his tablet. “Okay, so what’s really happening with this video is that I have been oh-so lucky to be noticed, by this guy.”

The camera cuts to a different angle of his room, with several pictures of Tim Drake and red hearts printed out and stuck poorly to the wall. There’s a lit candle on the floor below them. Conner runs into frame, looking panicked. “Wait, no, no-”

It cuts back to the original angle of Conner in front of his bed. He coughs awkwardly. “Don’t know what happened there… anyway, yes. Tim Drake, aka Red Robin, aka, ten million subs on YouTube, noticed my work and slipped into the dms. He asked me to customise something for him, and he asked specifically for a skateboard.”

The video cuts to Conner back in his backyard, with a plain skateboard in pieces. “I have never touched a skateboard.” Conner confesses. “Let’s get started!”

Kon was definitely drunk. Greta had originally planned for her birthday party to be relatively small and chill, but then Anita invited some friends, and Cissie told some of her teammates, and it had accidentally spiralled into a total rager.

“Cassie!” Kon called out across the crowd, and received no response. He scanned the throng of people inside Greta’s small living room, and spotted Cissie’s long shine of platinum blonde, right next to…

Well. He found Cassie. Halfway down Cissie’s throat. 

He drained the remainder of his vodka soda, and began weaving through the crowd towards the kitchen to get another. He was having fun, sorta. Greta and Slobo were on the balcony with about three hundred other people, lighting up and making Kon really glad they lived in California. Cassie and Cissie were making out in the corner, Anita was dancing, and Kon was… getting another drink.

Okay, he was feeling a little left out. It didn’t help that he’d burnt the cake he promised he’d bring, and instead had to buy a premade one from Walmart. He tried to remember that Greta had been just as happy with the shitty Walmart cake, as he poured soda water over his shot of vodka.

“Oh my god, Conner?” 

He spilled soda all along Greta’s counter, as his blood ran cold. He turned, and saw one of the last people he had wanted to.

“Tana.” he said weakly, trying for a smile. 

Tana Moon grinned at him, with her own drink in hand. She looked fantastic, Kon had to admit. Her hair was glossy, her skin was tanned, and the black dress she was wearing was dangerously low cut. If only the sight of her didn’t make Kon want to vomit. 

“Hey! Long time no see. I didn’t know you were in Frisco!” she said, and leaned in, wrapping her arm around Kon’s shoulders and pressing a kiss to his cheek. His eyes caught the jagged scar on her collarbone, and his stomach twisted.

“I’ve got to go.” he lied, and dodged out from under her arm, leaving his drink abandoned on the counter. He dodged past Tana, past his dancing friends, and into the thankfully free bathroom.

His hands were shaking as he pulled out his phone. He’d just scroll for a bit, until he calmed down -

His phone unlocked and immediately opened to the email sent by Lex. 

Despite his better judgement, he began reading.

Conner Luthor, 

Your presence is requested by your father and rightful legal guardian at the Alexander Luthor Gala, in Aid of National Firemen’s Relief, 9pm, Saturday, May 26th. Wayne Towers Ballroom, 8th Floor.

The dress code is black-tie. A fitting session has been booked for you at Queen’s Tailoring, 9th Street, Gotham, for 8am, Thursday, May 10th.

A room has been arranged for you at Wayne’s Hotel, beginning at 5pm, Wednesday, May 9th, and continuing until Sunday, May 27th, 9pm. 

You are not required to bring a plus one, but if you wish to, your guest must be female.

Thank you for your cooperation. 

Mercy Graves, Personal Assistant to Lex Luthor. 

Kon looked at the date in the corner of his phone. May 20th. Yeah, he’d missed that suit fitting. And the hotel check-in. Good, fuck those stupid appointments Lex set up for him. 

But god, he felt ill. Your guest must be female? Where did Lex get the audacity?  

He imagined himself at that stupid gala, with a fitted suit with Tana on his arm. Driving a fancy car. Being afraid and crashing and Tana flying out the windshield again-

This bathroom was too small.

Kon let himself out, and slipped out of Greta’s apartment. He called an Uber, and texted Cassie that he was heading home early. He got inside, stripped off his patched jeans and distressed band shirt, and immediately put on a different one. 

He laid in his bed, and stared at the ceiling. He felt sick. 

“It’s one am.” Tim’s voice was thick with sleep. Kon must’ve called him, but he didn’t remember it. Was this dissociating? This must’ve been dissociating, he didn’t feel altogether there. “What’s going on?”

“My dad is homophobic.” is what Kon started with.

“...okay.” Tim said, voice suddenly calm, and clear. “Are you alright?”

“I read that message my ex-dad sent.” Kon said slowly. “I - I uh, I’m expected at this party. He booked this, like… a suit fitting for me. And a hotel room. And said that I can bring a plus one but only if it’s a girl.”

Tim exhaled sharply. “Ah. Yeah, that… sucks. Your ex-dad fucking sucks . How long have you been no-contact with him, again?”

“Since I was like, fourteen. Went to live with my real dad and my stepmom when I was thirteen, we had some emails and stuff for a year.” Kon rubbed at his eyes. “I hate suits, man.”

“Me too.” Tim said sympathetically. “When did you read the email?”

“Like, half an hour ago?” Kon guessed. “I was at my friend’s birthday party, and then I saw one of my exes from Hawai’i, and… I just needed to get my mind off things, and-”

“Slow down, you sound like you’re spiralling. Tell me what happened.” Tim said slowly. His voice felt like the smooth rocks at the bottom of a cool river. Kon inhaled shakily, and began.

“I ran away to Hawai’i when I was twelve.” Kon began. “I stole a bunch of money from my ex-dad - he’s rich, don’t worry about it - and got on a plane. I set myself up in a little apartment, and started hanging around this TV station. I started dating this girl, Kay, and she was eighteen.”

Tim sucked in a breath. “Man, fuck her.”

“I did!” Kon laughed, a little hysterical. “I wish I didn’t. I broke up with Kay so I could date a different adult woman. Her name is Tana, and we were, like… serious. She was a junior reporter for that TV station.”

“Is there, like, a super high density of adult female predators in Hawai’i?” Tim asked casually. 

“At least in Honolulu.” Kon agreed. “Tana was kind of better than Kay. She didn’t do drugs, for example.”

“Definite improvement. Still, fuck her. You were twelve .” Tim spat, and Kon had heard that tone in Cassie’s voice.

“Yeah…” Kon’s voice trailed off. “But, uh, once, she drank a bit, and had me drive us to hers. Obviously, I’m twelve, and I can’t drive. So…”

“Go on.” Tim encouraged.

Kon breathed shakily, blinking away memories of that warm summer night. “So we crashed. And Tana nearly died. And the only adult I could like, trust, was this reporter who was visiting for a story, and so I called her. And surprise, she’s my stepmom and had no idea.”

“Wow.” Tim said quietly.

“Yeah.” 

They were both silent for a moment.

“You saw Tana, I’m assuming. Unless your friend parties hard.” Tim asked.

“Yeah.” Kon sniffed hard. “And my stupid ex-dad is throwing a gala. So everyone is gonna call him lovely and charitable, or whatever, but he once threw a chair at me, so.”

“We’re coming back to the chair thing,” Tim said quickly. “But throwing a gala? Who’s your ex-dad?”

“Lex Luthor.” Kon mumbled, rolling over and pressing his phone into his face. “I know, I was kidnapped by a billionaire, I’m basically a fanfic self-insert.”

“ Luthor? ” Tim said quietly, horrified.

“Yeah-”

“Kon. I’m a Wayne - I’m invited to that gala. I already hated him, but fuck , man, he’s evil.” there was static on Tim’s end, and Kon realised he must’ve been pacing. "I am gonna kill that man. I swear to god, I'll kill him with my bare hands."

“Tim?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you get your skateboard yet?” 

“Ah, no.”

“...Stupid UPS.” Kon muttered. “I paid for priority shipping.” 

Tim laughed out loud. “Yeah, fuck UPS. They broke some records I ordered once.” 

“Fuck ‘em. I’m gonna sleep.” Kon managed to get out, before he closed his eyes, and passed out.