Chapter Text
Bookwyrm
(Edge would make unnecessarily complicated elevators and motorized contraptions. Razz would too once. But budget and energy tell him to wait a good while.)
Bath Time:
*The soap dispenses and Ranger barely catches it in a small human medicine cup that is like a bucket to them.*
Ranger: Bath time now... need a hand down?
Elton: I think I can- *Slips and falls, heavily landing but not hurt.* OOF.
Ranger: You okay stripe?
Elton: Great, just let's grab the cloth and get it done.
Mission impossible:
*Tart and Drawl are decked out in their survival packs, just the blade and a few bits or bobs. BB is instantly jealous.*
BB: ..... oh my stars, is that real fishing line?
Tart: Yep! It's good as a tripwire. It doesn't break without sawing with my blade. One reason I choose floss as a rope more often. You can't make an emergency break away with fishing line.
Drawl: Want me to tell the other two what we're doing?
Tart: Just leave a note. They know we are gonna do stuff.
BB: ....... think they have any tacks?
.........
*Ranger can't really read and Elton isn't a strong reader. Maybe 2 grade level?*
***
HomeHawk12
Bath Time:
*The two wash up and relax in the warm water. Ranger closes his eyes and nearly falls asleep. Neither of them are talking much.*
Elton: Sooooo.... do you like movies?
Ranger: I guess? I can’t really see what’s going on, other than the audio.
Elton: Does that mean you like when they...... sing? Like the movies we watched yesterday?
Ranger: They were nice songs. Why do you ask?
Elton: *Getting embarrassed.* Would you mind if I..... sing some of them? *Convinced Ranger will say no.*
Ranger: Right now? You don’t need to ask permission. Sing all you want.
Elton: Really? Yay!
Mission Impossible:
*The three make their way outside. Shimmying along the neighbours window ledge and peering through a crack in the curtains.*
BB: Looks quiet. I don’t see anyone.
Tart: BROTHER! Take us in!
Drawl: *Teleports them just inside the window.*
***
Bookwyrm
(One day Elton will sing like no one can hear for hours. )
Bath Time:
*Elton hums a tune and sings when he knows the words.*
....
....
*This is nice for the bitties. Maybe they can see if they can work the DVD player later?*
Mission Impossible:
Tart: .... the counter will have the best vantage point. From there we can scout the best places to trap and loot.
***
HomeHawk12
(So did the big guys go to work leaving the little ones at home today, or is this before Razz and Slim wake up?)
***
Bookwyrm
(I think just before maybe Razz is in the kitchen with some tea. Or needed to pick something up real fast. Maybe meeting with Barracuda for flesh suit adjustments or attachment.)
***
HomeHawk12
(I’ll assume he made a quick run to Barracuda’s because I’m pretty sure he’d notice when Tart and Drawl and getting backpacks ready lol.)
Bath Time:
*Ranger can’t help but hum along. He starts humming Love is an Open Door, Elton getting really excited and spinning around in the tub trying to dance like they did in the film. He really wants to watch the film a few more times today.*
Mission Impossible:
*The group makes it on top of the counter, BB searching the drawers while Tart is eyeing their surroundings.*
Tart: Okay, I am thinking right between the couch and wall would be a great place for a trip wire...... we can loosen the screw on that shelf so when the human falls into the wall the shelf fails and drops everything on top of them-
BB: Guys! They have tacks! They are silver shiny!!!!
Tart: ... More trap ideas. Very good.
***
Bookwyrm
Bath:
*Once the two are clean and scrubbed off, Elton pulls a fluffy towel over. It's really a washcloth, but it's a large towel to the bitties. Luckily Frozen is still in the player so they only need to work the remotes.*
Mission impossible:
BB: But I want these tacks! I'm not leaving them!
Tart: But we can trap the awful humans!
BB: We’ll do it without my tacks!
Drawl: .... They have some weird decorations here. What's with all the tiny human statues?
*The room has many Precious Moments figurines around. ...... it’s creepy.*
***
HomeHawk12
Now TV Time:
Elton: How do I work a remote?
Ranger: I don’t know. I think it has buttons?
Elton: It does have buttons, but no instructions on what to press..... hey, what’s that on the coffee table? It looks like a note.
Ranger: A note?
Tart: Yeah, I’m not good at reading though. Can you?
Ranger: ...... I’ve never been able to make out a letter before.
Elton: Right, sorry...
Mission Impossible:
Tart: There are a hundred tacks in there! You can spare half of those!
BB: NO I NEED THEM ALL!
Drawl: Hey BB. I’ll give you this in exchange for 30 tacks.
BB: What could possibly be worth- GASP! *Drawl is holding up a shiny, brand new paper clip.*
***
Bookwyrm
TV Time:
*Elton decides to spend the time slowly reading the note. The remotes are on the couch. The gray one is for the DVD player and the black one for the TV.*
......
*Ranger accidentally turns the sound WAY up before un-muting it.*
Mission impossible:
BB: Where did you find that?!?
Drawl: That info is worth ten more tacks.
BB: *Srares at Drawl*..... deal.
*The sounds of LET IT GOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Blasts through the apartment wall. It’s loud enough to shake the counter.*
***
HomeHawk12
TV Time:
*Ranger fumbles all over the remote before accidentally finding the mute button.*
Ranger: Stars that nearly scared me to death.
Elton: “W......wEEEEEEE W-W-wiiiiiiilllllll..... hey Ranger, is this a B or a D?
Ranger: ......
Elton: I’m sorry I keep forgetting.
Mission Impossible:
BB: *Jumps at the noise, a whole bunch of his tacks falling onto the kitchen floor.*
BB: No my tacks!
Neighbor: *From the bedroom.* GOD DAMMIT IT’S THOSE FUCKING MONSTERS AGAIN! I’M DONE YELLING THROUGH THE DAMN WALL! WHERE'S MY BAT?!?!
Tart: ...... hide!
***
Bookwyrm
TV Time:
Ranger: Do you think anyone heard that?
*Muffled angry noises next door.*
Elton: .... what… what now?
Ranger: …. maybe find the others and hide in the cabin or fort?
Mission Impossible:
Neighbor: I'M GONNA SHOW THEM A THING OR TWO!
BB: What do we do???
Tart: Just wait for an opportunity-
*BB drops the entire tack box.*
***
HomeHawk12
TV Time:
*Slim rushes out of his bedroom clearly alarmed.*
Slim: W-what the hell was that? Are we in danger?
Ranger: I-I’m sorry Slim, I-I didn’t know what I was clicking and then the TV got very loud.
Elton: S-someone is shouting a lot next door!
Slim: It’s okay, I’ll handle it.... where are the others?
Elton: Not sure, but we did find this on the coffee table. *Passes Slim the note. He needs to squint to read the tiny writing.*
Slim: ..... well shit.
Mission Impossible:
Tart: Shit! *Neighbour storms into the living room.* Quick! Behind the cereal box! *The group jumps for cover, just in time for the human to storm into the kitchen to grab the baseball bat sitting by the refrigerator.*
Neighbor: This is the last time I- AHHHHHHGGGGHHHHH!!!! *Falls backwards having stepped on four tacks with one foot. Behind him is a table with a lot of display angels.*
***
Bookwyrm
TV time:
Slim: .... This is why I shouldn't sleep so deeply, damn it.
Elton: ...... what's that word mean?
Ranger: It’s a word you say when frustrated or angry. It's a not polite one.
Mission impossible:
Tart: Stay down BB.
BB: Start! My tacks!
Drawl: We can't be caught, kid!
*The table wobbles from the man falling.... then angels descend from above.*
***
HomeHawk12
TV Time:
*The three hear the man screaming, a loud crash, and the braking of several glass objects.*
Elton: .... Damn it.
Slim: .... Razz is gonna kill me.
Mission Impossible:
*The female neighbour rushes out of the bedroom from all the noises, screaming at the sight.*
Neighbor 2: YOU BROKE MY ANGELS!!!!!
Neighbor 1: THERE ARE TACKS IN MY FOOT!!!!!
Neighbor 2: THOSE WERE COLLECTOR EDITIONS YOU IDIOT!!!!
Neighbor 1: I BET YOU SPILLED THE TACKS ON THE FLOOR YOU CRAZY BITCH!!!!
BB: M-my tacks-
Drawl: Quick, while they are busy yelling at each other, we gotta get closer to the window so I can teleport us.
BB: B-but-
Drawl: Just take the damn paper clip and let’s go!
***
Bookwyrm
TV Time:
Elton: .... what?!?
Ranger: It’s an expression.
Elton: What does his face have to do with it?
Mission impossible:
BB: You owe me tacks then!
Tart: Later we can come back!
BB: Start!
Drawl: *Pulls BB.* Nope later.
***
HomeHawk12
TV Time:
(No Elton hasn’t learned sarcasm, or context XD)
Slim: Okay..... I’m not sure how to get the others out of there.....
Ranger: Could we cause a distraction?
Slim: I’m not good with being loud or anything.... Uh, TV volume?
*The Bitties port onto the windowsill, Drawl about collapsing from all the shortcuts with so many passengers. He needs a soul recharge.*
Bookwyrm
Tart: SLIM! SLIMJIM! HUG MY BROTHER! NOW PLEASE?!?
BB: *Messing with his clip, looking at its shine.*
*Slim lifts up a dead on his feet Drawl.*
Slim: … Sans is really gonna kill me.
***
HomeHawk12
Elton: R-Razz Sans is really gonna kill us?! I’m too young to die!
Ranger: Razz Sans isn’t really gonna kill anyone.... he is just going to be very mad-
*The handle on the front door turns, Razz stepping inside with a shipping bag.*
Razz: Stars, the neighbours are fighting already.... alright Ranger, I got some little bean bags for the office. Did you know there is an outdoor game that uses these-
*Pauses at Slim holding a half dead Drawl to his chest, Tart pacing around frantically, and BB clutching his paper clip for dear life just as Razz spots him.*
BB: IT’S MINE YOU CAN’T HAVE IT!
***
Bookwyrm
Razz: … .what...
*BB glares as he holds his clip.*
Neighbor: GOD DAMN FUCKING MONSTERS!
Razz: ...
Slim: *Innocent eyesockets.*
Razz: ...
Tart: ...*fidgets*
Ranger: Welcome home Razz Sans?
***
HomeHawk12
Razz: *Socket twitching from a barely contained bout of rage. It’s obvious the group had something to do with his enraged racist neighbours. Razz quickly steps back into the hallway to go through his breathing exercises.*
Elton: .... W-was that it? He didn’t kill anyone?
Slim: It’s worse than I thought....
***
Bookwyrm
(..... Blue is begging Stretch to let him be a bitty uncle and let him go to Swapfell right now!)
Slim: Sans is really angry if he walks away for breathing exercises.
Tart: ..... not.... kick us out angry… right Slim?
Slim: *Sees the fear in Tart… in Drawl.... in Ranger… in all of them.* No no, Razz wouldn't do that.
***
HomeHawk12
(Oh no babies, they're getting so scared of being homeless.)
*Everyone flinches when they hear a door slam open, the neighbour having encountered Razz in the hallway and now the two breaking into an incoherent screaming match. All the Bitties latch onto Slim, looking at the door fearfully. Slim isn't sure if he should try intervening or not.*
Razz: GO SUCK A DICK DAVE NOBODY CARES!
*He barges back into the apartment before the human can force the door open, retreating to the kitchen instead where he won't be disturbed by the neighbors.*
***
Bookwyrm
(Babies scared of... returns .... Ranger couldn't take that again...)
Razz aggressively makes coffee- ........ Razz aggressively makes TEA.
Slim: ..... I think .... I should talk to him?
.......
*Slim sets the bitties in a pile on the couch... and goes to his brother.*
***
HomeHawk12
(Oh no Ranger! Good thing Dente isn't here with them....)
Ranger: *Sniffle.* Slim is telling the truth, yes? He's not really going to return us???
*The Bitties all hug and cuddle trying to calm each other's souls. It's all they can do to stay composed at the moment.*
Slim: Hey Sans?
Razz: ..... What. Happened.
Slim: Uhhhhh, you see, the bitties didn't like how the neighbors treated you the other night......
Razz: So they left the dick across the wall with a bloody foot?
Slim:.... They did?- I-I mean, a few of them tried watching Frozen and they didn't know how to work the remote, and I'm pretty sure the volume woke up the neighbors..... Then they ran into the Bitties revenge.
Razz: .......
Slim: Uhhhh, bro?
Razz: .... *Deep inhale and exhale.* I am going to drink my tea, put on the damn flesh suit for the Queen’s mission, then I am going to the Fellverse.
Slim: Could you maybe have a word with the bitties before that? They’re convinced you’re going to kick them out.
***
Bookwyrm
Razz: *One… two... three....* I will speak with them.
Slim: .......you okay?
Razz: Just need to confirm some things.
......
*The bitties see a simmering Razz walk out.*
Razz: *Huff* .... did they see you?
Tart: .... n-no...
Razz: So they can't prove you were there?
Drawl: .....
BB: … I'm not giving up my paper clip!
***
HomeHawk12
Razz: *In and out. In and out.* I don’t care about the paper clip-
BB: Well you should! It’s a nice paper clip!
Razz: .... I only want to know if they can prove you were there.
Drawl: I-I don’t think so.... W-we only had the chance to look in a few kitchen drawers. We were talking about what ta work on next when the film started playing and we spilled the thumb tacks.
Tarts: .... we got out while they were fighting.....
Ranger: A-are we in trouble? *Sockets starting to prick with tears.*
Razz: ....
Ranger: A-are you..... r-r-returning us?
***
Bookwyrm
Razz: *Breaks a little.* No Ranger, of course not. *Offers his hand*... here humans don't see you as bitties. There's no store to return to. They might not even see you as young monsters but able to be held fully accountable. I can't even guarantee they will understand that you work a bit differently than the large monsters.
Ranger: *Grab’s onto Razz’s hand.*
Razz: You can't attack humans. In any self defense situation you should run. strike if you have to, but run. Here humans are racist. They might still think you're cute like the ones back in your world. But they do not see you as pets.
***
HomeHawk12
Tart: ...... they really don’t see us as pets.....?
Razz: No, you will be treated like any other monster.
Drawl: .......
Tart: *The gravity of the situation is starting to sink in.* I almost ruined everything.....
Razz: ... *Offers his other hand to Tart, he takes it searching for comfort.* The important thing is that you weren’t seen. If you ever pull something like this again, there is a good chance I won’t be able to protect you from any legal repercussions. Please remember that.
***
Bookwyrm
Drawl: ....
Razz: Not only that... but the people here don't know that the skeletons can travel to other worlds. If you do get caught in trouble, don't mention the machine or the other skeletons ever. Only Stretch and Blue have a bit of presence here.
BB: Who are those?
Razz: You can meet them later. But there aren't any bitty laws here. So you will be tried as a monster.
***
HomeHawk12
Drawl:..... My a-apologies Razz Sans.... I-I teleported them in there a..... and I should have known better... *Tries to wipe a few tears from his sockets without the others noticing. Razz does, and it hurts.*
Razz: Come here. *Leans down and let's the other grip onto his chest.*
***
Bookwyrm
Razz: ... I know you've been treated as less than for most of your lives, but here you aren't pets and you will be held accountable for your actions. Thievery isn't just survival up here, it's an offense. *hugs Drawl to himself.* Some humans just want a reason to fight and you guys wouldn't last long against one.
***
HomeHawk12
Ranger: W-we’ll be good now....
Tart: It.... it won’t happen again.
Razz: Be sure that it doesn’t. We were lucky this time, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get away with it if this happens again.
Drawl: I-It won’t.
BB: Wait! What about my tacks?!
Drawl: The ones currently covered in human blood?
BB: Wait.... that human ruined my tacks!?!?!
Razz: They are NOT your tacks.
BB: But Drawl said we could get them later!
Drawl: That was before the talk BB. I’m not taking anyone back there.
***
Bookwyrm
BB: ...... *Walks off.* I'm raiding the fort.
Tart: YOU GRABBY BITCH!
Razz: *Picks up LH from the top of the couch.* Don’t kill each other. I'm going to be in my room if anyone needs me.
.....
*Ranger follows Razz after a few minutes.*
***
HomeHawk12
*Ranger follows the bright exterior color of the fortress, managing to make it to what he thinks is the hallway, seeing a blurry shape moving into something, followed by a door shutting and stillness.*
Ranger: Razz Sans? *No answer. He makes his way to the wall that he’s pretty sure the door is on, feeling his way down and hopefully somewhere he won’t be stepped on.*
*The horrendous sounds of screaming and fighting draw Slim out from the kitchen, seeing things from inside the fort go flying as BB and Tart duke it out inside the walls. Elton is on the couch nervously watching the battle.
Drawl: *Teleports to Slim’s shoulder.* Razz Sans told us not to kill each other, but that seems really unlikely right now. I can’t stop them.
Slim: Oh boy.
(Tart is going to be very much against leaving his fort alone for the mission if BB is going to have access to it all day djdnfk)
***
Bookwyrm
.........
*Razz checks his phone-
....... 40 texts. From Blue and Stretch.*
Razz: .... Lord Hater, why do I have to deal with so many skeletons?
LH: Mew.
*Ranger is able to slip under the door and into the room.*
Living Room:
Tart: DROP MY LEGO!
BB: NO! I FOUND IT!
Tart: IS THAT MY PUFFBALL!?! I ONLY HAVE 3 OF THOSE!!!
BB: I LIKE IT!
Slim: BB you can't take Tart’s stuff. Maybe you and Tart can explore the living room. If you find something you can bring it to me and I can tell you if you can keep it.
BB: *Locks on to Tart.* OH MY STARS YES! TART LETS GO!
Tart: DROP MY PUFFBALL FIRST! YOU THIEVING BABY BLUE!
Elton: *Is so confused, Frozen is less confusing and he can just sing.*
***
HomeHawk12
Bedroom:
Razz: I asked them for at least one full week of no contact, and what happens? I get pulled into this whole Bitty world nonsense.
LH: Mew.
Razz: ..... Why is everything so exhausting....
LH: Mew!
Razz: It was a rhetorical question.
*Ranger is listening to Razz mumble to himself.*
Living Room:
Slim: How are you holding up Elton Sweeny?
Elton: Can I watch Frozen again?
Slim: Sure thing pal.
BB: I want this thing! Can I have this thing???
Slim: Sorry, the concrete displays are off limits. Plus I don’t want you getting crushed under them.
BB: These?
Slim: You see, the support stands are equally important to you not getting crushed, so no.
Tart: I found a nickel!
Slim: You can keep the nickel.
BB: HEY! THAT’S MY NICKEL!
Tart: FINDERS KEEPERS!
***
Bookwyrm
Older Brother Chat:
-BlueBerry: RAZZ AM I AN UNCLE???
-BlueBerry: HOW MANY BITTY BABIES DO YOU HAVE?
-BlueBerry: IS THERE REALLY A BABY PAPY?!?!?!
-BlueBerry: RAZZ PLEASE INVITE ME OVER.
-BlueBerry: SLIM SENT A PICTURE OF THE ONE NAMED ELTON SWEENY DESTROYER OF HUMANITY AND I REALLY REALLY WOULD LIKE TO MEET HIM.
Bedroom:
Razz: Dammit Blue. One fucking week. That's all I asked for.
LH: Brrrreow? *Sans pet me.*
Razz: Not only do I have Edge's ass here and Red’s, but Blue wishes to come. What next, Rus and Comic???
LH: Mmrrrrrreow? *Why aren't you petting?*
*Ranger hasn't heard a lot of these names Razz Sans keeps saying.*
*Beep. The phone buzzes. Orchid has sent a message.*
Private Chat:
-Orchid: Sans, how are the babies?
Razz: *Long inhale.*
Living Room:
(I love how Tart and BB go from besties to rivals to enemies in a constant shifting cycle.)
BB: What about this staff?
Slim: *Getting Frozen ready to watch.... for the third time in 24 hours.* BB that's a pen.
BB: Can I have it?
Slim: Did you find it in the pen cup?
BB: Nope! In the couch cushions!
Slim: Sure. There's scrap paper somewhere around here, probably....
Tart: *Searching the couch for a pen for himself, his little legs sticking out of the cushion spaces.*
Drawl: ...... zzz... *Sleeping on the couch, tuckered out from the over use of shortcuts.*
***
HomeHawk12
Bedroom:
*Razz tries to word it as kindly and not annoyed as possible. Stars he still had to go to work in the Bitty world in an hour and that flesh suit takes a while to put on. He starts the process of attaching everything.*
Private Massaging:
-Razz: The new Bitties have made themselves at home. The sick one is back to good health again and has turned out to be a kleptomaniac. The one on the striped shirt loves musicals.
-Queen Toriel: That is good to hear. I know I have some child friendly DVD’s I can loan you.
-Razz: I would be happy to have something playing that isn’t Frozen.
LH: *Spots Ranger standing by the doorway. Silently she hops down to claim her baby skeleton. Someone needs another bath.*
Living Room:
(Idk which Bitties are meant to be compatible with each other but their current relationship is giving me so much life at the moment.)
Slim: *Make a mental note to find some scrap paper and crayons. BB is scribbling all over the paper like a madman.*
Tart: HEY! This isn’t a pen!
Slim: Looks like you found the cap to BB’s pen.
Tart: I AM KEEPING THIS.
BB: BUT MY PEN NEEDS A CAP!
Tart: FIND YOUR OWN CAP!!!!
***
Bookwyrm
*Blue has been blowing up all the Fell skeletons' phones. He desperately wants to meet the new bab- BITTIES.*
Bedroom:
(Holy shit private massage? Damn the Queen better appreciate Razz and his tiny phalanges that hit all the pressure points.)
Razz: Fucking Undyne... why does the flesh suits have to be anatomically correct? I do not like having Thighs!
*LH lightly pounces and scruffs Ranger by the scarf and shirt.*
Ranger: *Whispers.* Hate no! I just took a bath!
*LH needs to make the bitty smell like cat again.*
Living Room:
BB: Please Tart? Please?
Tart: I ONLY TRADE OR BARTER!
Drawl: *Wakes a bit*... are we doing a trade bro? Did we get the wire those alley Bitties wanted?
Tart: DRAWL THAT WAS WEEKS AGO! WE DIDN'T FIND ANY REMEMBER?
Drawl: Mmmmmmmmmkay bro.... zzzzzz….
Slim: .... how did any Sans raise a kid if they act like this.....
(I think BB and Tart are just like Blue and Razz except BB is more klepto with a dash of hoarder and Tart doesn't have the trauma Razz has that makes Razz so tolerant of Blue. I think bitties can get along well enough with each other to share soul power even if they don't get along well. I think Drawl goes with Tart on most things and is laid back. Dente loves everyone. Floof is the chillest. Non-Cherry Fells fight for dominance a bit. It's probably in relation to being owned that really puts strain on bitty relationships. If a regular boss showed up Tart would probably try and fight him with Drawl as backup.)