Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Surviving life with the Dursleys was easily the most difficult thing Harry had ever done. Between the beatings and the silence, Harry learned early on that his only advantage was his brain. Vernon had all of two brain cells and Petunia didn't care enough to think about him. Dudley was too young to be anything but exactly what his parents taught him and, surprisingly enough, it seemed like he had half a brain when he cared enough to think for himself. 

Harry had been able to shift into a grim for as long as he could remember. He had known the reasons that the Dursleys hated him had something to do with it but he hid it, desperate to keep something safe from their influence. The fact that he knew for sure there was something different about him made their words hurt more but his grim form was his therapy. He could take their beatings and their hate only if he had the reassurance that his animal brain would let him process his emotions easily. Shifting hurt when they broke his ribs so he learned early on to curl up. He couldn't walk around silently if he didn't have at least three limbs so he made sure to let his left arm protect the rest of him. 

Coming to the wizarding world Harry had thought that everyone could change into animals. He didn't say anything, his upbringing teaching him to play dumb and wait for the people around him to bring up the subject. When Hagrid said nothing he had thought that it was because he couldn't shift. When Professor McGonagall changed from a cat into a person he thought that he was about to be given a crash course on the shifting. That was when he learned that he wasn't supposed to be able to do what he did. 

The realization that the Dursleys were right- that he was a freak even amongst his own people- hit him hard. He was withdrawn for weeks until Ron begged him to play chess with him. He pretended like he didn't know how to play and slowly allowed himself to use more complex moves, the strategy clearing his mind for the first time since transfiguration. 

He decided then and there that he wasn't going to let small-minded, mean people like his 'family' tell him what he was. He stopped limiting himself, learning anything and everything that interested him, and making sure to keep decent grades. He didn't want to bring attention to himself but he also didn't want to be pulled aside for being too dumb. 

It worked perfectly, just as he had known it would.

-

Seeing a grim in real life that wasn't himself was a new experience for Harry. The stress he had been carrying fading away as the animal came up to him and nuzzled into his neck. Harry had taken one look at the animal and felt himself relax, flashes on those gray eyes on a person confusing him. He eventually elected to just take the comfort where he could get it, petting the dog behind the ears not even aware of his rambling until the dog whined lowly in response to his words. 

"You're so matted. What's your name? Mine's Harry. And so thin! Who's taking care of you, boy?" He flinched a bit at saying the word that had tormented through his childhood, deciding quickly to never call someone that again. He never stopped talking, not noticing the way the gray eyes looked concerned at his flinch. 

"You remind me of something. I have no clue what but it was a person I might have known? The man's face feels like a memory. I think that it's from before my parents died because he's just as faded as the motorcycle ride. You remind me of an animal I used to see a lot but also a man. It's all in your eyes," 

The dog curled closer to him at those words, whining quietly as he scented the wizard. He seemed to be debating with himself but Harry then waved his wand to make a point, the sounds of the Night Bus loud to the grim's canine hearing. 

Then the animal was gone and Harry was alone again. The Night Bus wasn't as fun as it seemed but it got him where he needed to go.

-

The year went by slowly, dreams of a haunting scream and green flashing lights waking him up every night. He had learned some pretty impressive warding spells from a borderline dark book he found in a pawn shop so he put them up around his bed and slept in his grim form. It was easier to be an animal, to be able to think logically without the emotions forcing him to rush. 

He saw the dog a couple more times but the knowledge of why the thing seemed so familiar never became more than an annoying itch. He decided that it would come to him or it wouldn't but in the meantime, he cared for the dog. He practiced all week to be able to transfigure a stick into shears and a brush. The next time he saw the animal on the outskirts of the forest he went to the kitchen and asked for bloody meat and some carrots, making his way to the forest without drawing attention to himself.

"Hey, buddy," Harry whispered once he got far enough to not be seen, patting his thigh until the dog cautiously made his way to him. "I brought food and I learned how to transfigure sticks into a brush and some scissors if you want a makeover," He offered with a smile, petting the dog and relinquishing the food. 

The dog barked happily and ate slowly while Harry brushed him through. The wizard talked about his classes and what he had been doing lately while he worked, absently noting that the dog had automatically eaten slowly like it knew what to do after being starved. 

"Can I convince you to go to that stream over there with me? I brought some soap?" Harry said once he had gotten rid of all the knots in the grim's coat, careful around the areas he knew from experience were too sensitive to be anything but completely gentle. 

The grim looked to be considering it before he got up from where he was laying pliantly in Harry's lap and made his way to the stream he could hear. Harry cast warming charms on the water and the grim before removing everything but his boxers. He knew that his scars were on display and the dog could see the results of being starved very obviously on him but he ignored his insecurity. Harry felt safe with the dog even though there was no good reason for it. The dog growled as he stared at the marks adjourning his body but something in Harry knew that the grim was mad for him, not at him. 

"Thanks, buddy," Harry said with a sigh, casting warming charms on himself, wards around the area, and another round of charms on the water and the dog. 

Then he gently guided the dog into the water, holding a finger up to signal one minute before reaching over and grabbing the bottle of soap from his robe. He washed the dog carefully, making sure not to get soap in his ears or eyes and using his intimate knowledge of canine biology to make sure he wasn't hurting the animal. He started talking again, petting the grim's head and chin while his other hand worked to get the soap on. 

"I bet you'll feel much better after this- some food, a bath, and a thorough combing always helps me," He didn't realize that he had said something that revealed his animagus status until the dog barked his confusion. The wizard ignored it though, just moving on to talk about school instead. 

After he finished his bath he used his robe to dry the grim before brushing him through a second time. 

"It's getting dark, lovely. I've got to go," Harry said with a sigh, getting his clothes back on. 

The dog barked but helped him through the forest, running in front of him and looking back to make sure Harry was following. Harry chuckled at the grim's enthusiasm but easily kept pace, his superior senses and stamina allowing him to barely even break a sweat. 

"See you soon,"

After that Harry brought the dog food at least once a day and stayed for at least a couple of minutes, sneaking away whenever he had the time to do his homework in the forest. 

-

Finding out that the dog was the person he had remembered from his memories was easily the biggest shock he had ever received. With the knowledge that he was the adolescent version of his godfather's animagus along with flashes of the man from before his parents were killed Harry said yes to Sirius' offer to live with him. It was the most impulsive thing that he had ever done but he couldn't bring himself to regret it. 

Dumbledore tried to stop them, claiming blood wards and that he was 'safer with the Dursleys' but that didn't last long.

It was the day before the train was going to leave and Sirius was sitting next to Harry in Dumbledore's office. Harry's godfather had managed to restrain himself enough to turn Pettigrew in rather than just kill him outright, giving him back the freedom that had been stolen from him for over a decade along with a hefty amount of compensation. 

"Harry needs to remain with his relatives," 

The headmaster said it like just because he was the one saying it his words would immediately be followed. Harry had a moment of panic where he thought that Sirius was going to let him go back to that place before he remembered the way the grim had reacted to his scars. 

"And why is that?" 

It was clear to Harry that Sirus was holding himself back from shouting at the headmaster. Harry grabbed the hand closest to him, signaling that he was going to speak next.

"Because they love him and he is safer there than with you," The manipulation was heavy-handed enough for anyone to see, his assurance in his abilities leaving him blind to his faults. 

"How do you treat the people that you love, headmaster?" The question was innocent enough and the savage gleam in Harry's eyes went unnoticed by Dumbledore. 

"With the respect and care that they deserve," The man said firmly without hesitation, not seeming to understand that he had just lost the game before it even truly started. 

"Would you mind if I showed you something?" 

Dumbledore nodded and Harry started taking his clothes off. He had long decided not to care about other people's opinions of what his body looked like but he had never used his scars as a manipulation tactic. The headmaster tried to object but Sirus just glared at the man. The headmaster was clearly confused, watching the teen undress himself with bewilderment that turned into shock when he saw the scars. 

There were slashes, whip marks, obvious signs of malnutrition, and perhaps worse of all a very worrying amount of burns. It was clear to anyone who cared enough to look that he hadn't had an easy life. The Gryffindors had written it off as battle scars from his non-existing training after getting over their shock but the headmaster didn't have the possibility to misunderstand.  

"If this is how the Dursleys show their love then I'm not sure I want to know what they do to their enemies," 

He was moving in with Sirius the next day, picking up his stuff from his relatives with the knowledge that he wouldn't have to see them ever again.

This was supposed to be a one-shot but... Anyway, comment if you have a prompt/pairing for me to write. -Rose

Chapter Text

Grimmauld Place didn't look very inviting but it was the only place Harry had ever truly felt at home. Home meant Sirius, Remus, and Kreature. Home meant dark magic filling the air and Sirius' mom screaming from her portrait at all hours of the night. 

The conversation that Sirius forced Harry to sit through was painful at best agonizing at worse but the older man's facial expressions were something that Harry would cherish until his dying day. 

**FLASHBACK**

Sirius had looked a mixture between nostalgic and constipated ever since he had come back to his childhood home. It had only taken Harry a week to understand the reason why. 

"We can live anywhere you know? We don't have to stay in this house," Harry could tell that the words shocked Sirius, not that he knew if it was because the man thought he was being discreet or because he didn't expect Harry to acknowledge it. 

"How did you know?" It wasn't the most eloquent sentence but Sirius was still visibly too shocked to ask anything else. 

"You get the same look in your eyes that I see in myself whenever you look at the broom closet on the second floor, the drawing room, and the attic door,"  The young wizard knew that Sirius hadn't expected that level of observation from him.

He knew that Sirius had expected him to be a normal teenager- self-absorbed, unobservant, and arrogant just like he and his father had been. But he also knew that the animagus wasn't completely recovered from what the dementors took from him, could see it in the absent light he'd get in his eye sometime and the shivers he tried to hide. Harry wanted Sirius to like him for who he was so he had easily decided to not hold back with his godfather, showing his intelligence and his independence, showing that he didn't need a parent. It went better than expected. The older wizard treated him like a nephew or a cousin- as someone to be respected and allowed room to grow. 

He was treated as a person and not a slave for the first time in his life and he reveled in the way he felt when Sirius was with him, warm and safe in a way that only his magic and his grim form had ever made him feel. 

The simple acknowledgment and the subtle hints that Harry had been dropping finally fell into place, the older wizard dropping his head into his hands enough so that his words were muffled when he finally gave in and said the thing that had been on the tip of his tongue since he had come back to the house. 

"Remy is House Black's consort and I want him to move in with us," 

It explained the way that when he got excited he would turn to talk to someone who wasn't there, how he haunted the halls with vacant eyes like he was watching a movie play out behind his eyes. 

"I thought you were going to admit to owning an illegal housepet or something. I guess that a werewolf works,"

Harry kept his voice mild, knowing that his godfather wasn't sure what his reaction was going to be. It only took the animagus a second to process the joke before he was cracking up. His laughter sounded like his barking when he was Padfoot and it was a sound that Harry had come to enjoy. Harry knew that when he really lost himself in his humor his amusement sounded the same but he hadn't laughed like that since his magic turned Dudley purple. He had hidden himself in a tree, wished for something to happen to the boy that wouldn't get him in trouble, lost his mind when the boy changed color, and got home to find the Dursleys looking supremely confused as their skin tone colored baby demanded he be punished. 

It ended in a broken rib and an aching body but it was totally worth it. He knew that the Dursleys didn't believe their son's story and that just made it better. 

Remus was moved in completely within the next week, the man having decided to go through the last full moon at his house then recover before moving. 

**FLASHBACK**

The wolf fit into their little family as he had always been there. He got over his apprehension of Sirius not treating Harry like a misbehaving child after the first time he saw the kid calmly debate the ethics of the killing curse while reading a necromancy book from the Black library that nobody had been able to touch in literal generations.  

By the time that a month had passed none of the residents had realized. The Prophet came in just like normal but Harry froze momentarily when he saw the date.

"When's the next full moon?" The teen asked, putting effort into sounding completely relaxed. 

"July 25," Remus answered without hesitation before taking the newspaper from Harry. 

When he promptly froze as well Sirius sighed in annoyance and stole the paper.

"Oh, shit," 

Harry could sympathize, the July 24 in bolded letters on top of the paper mocking them all. 

"Do you want to get the potion this time or not? You're going to be surrounded by pack so your wolf won't bother anyone," 

"I used to have four people-" He growled slightly right along with Sirius at having to acknowledge Peter but continued talking anyway, "-not it's just Siri and I. I think that I need the potion," 

"And me," Harry said mildly, genuinely confused when they both looked at him like he was crazy.

"You're not going anywhere near me on the full moon! You're too young and you're not an animagus," Remus' words left no room for objection but he stopped talking when he realized that Harry had a really sheepish look on his face. 

"I told you right?" The young wizard asked, getting slightly hysterical as he turned desperately to Sirius, "I know that I told you! I was washing you in the river and I said something about a bath and a combing helping me out," 

"Told us what?" 

Sirius and Remus asked at the same time, annoyed but mostly concerned when Harry chuckled. There was definitely an edge of insanity there. 

"I've been able to shift for as long as I can remember. I wasn't trying to hide it! I thought you both knew. I sleep in my animal form sometimes and I've literally walked around the house right in front of you both!" 

Both of the adults at the table looked like they were seriously questioning his mental capacities. 

"Seriously?" Harry asked Remus, closing his eyes in resignation when Sirius automatically responded. 

"No, I am," 

The young wizard decided that he was done with the conversation then, getting onto the table and ignoring the protests he was getting from the adults in the room. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and shifted. He opened his eyes and growled as he fought his way out of his clothes. For normal animagus, they kept their clothes with them but Harry had always been different. 

Sirius was tearing up once he realized that Harry looked just like him, holding a hand out and laughing as Harry immediately nuzzled his palm before licking up his tears. The other grim knew exactly how overwhelming shifting with a pack was, knew that the instincts that came with being a dog were probably hitting Harry hard, so he picked up the pup and held him close. 

Remus got up too, guiding the pair to the master bedroom Sirius and him shared. The second they hit the bed Sirius shifted as well, wrapping himself around Harry's small form until the wolf couldn't even tell where Harry started and Sirius began. He curled himself around his pack protectively, the instincts that had been throbbing under his skin calming for the first time that day.

"We are going to talk about this later," Remus said in what was meant to be a threatening voice but just mostly came out fond. 

Harry chuffed and popped his head out of the sea of limbs just enough to lick Remus' neck and scent him before pulling it back under Sirius' snout. They stayed that way until the moon came up, wrapping themselves around the man as he screamed his agony. They whined at the pain they could smell on Remus and started to lick him, surrounding the wolf with their scents until the change was finally over. They spent the night wrapped around each other and safe, not even a bit of aggression from the werewolf. 

The young grim hoped it was because of him, hoped that this unusual family he was surrounded by was changing for the better because of him. 

Nothing about their family was normal but none of them ever wished for anything different.

I hope that you guys liked this. Comments, kudos, and constructive criticism are always welcome. -Rose