Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nine-year-old Mary Summers stole a hesitant, sidelong glance at the clock over the door. 2:55 PM. Just five more minutes before the end of the school day. Normally, she looked forward to the end of school. It meant that she could go home, hang out with her dad and older sister, play with her dolls, read her books, and return to the safety of her home. Sure, she hated having to do homework, but she had long since accepted that that was just part of school. It helped that the homework she had for today only consisted of a few easy worksheets she could finish in half an hour. Unfortunately, today was not a day where the bell would ring and she could just run out of school.

Finally, the bell rang, and children screamed with delight as they stampeded out of the classroom like a pack of rhinos. But Mary couldn’t join them. She remained at her desk, holding her backpack tightly against her chest, watching as the teacher, Mr. Bryant, used an eraser to wipe off the whiteboard. He was a large, stout man with pronounced muscles, a thick beard, and always wore sweaters and jeans. Mr. Bryant looked like one of those men who hunted bears and deer in the mountains, and to anyone who didn’t know better, they would perceive him as scary or rugged. But Mary liked Mr. Bryant.

“Alright, Mary,” Mr. Bryant continued to push the eraser up and down to wipe off the marker ink. “We’ll wait until your mother gets here so she and I can talk. You can read the books on the shelf if you want,” He suggested.

The shelf was bright red, nestled in the back of the room, full of children’s books Mr. Bryant brought in to use for his lessons. Just as Mary was about to leave her desk and pick one out, two children came walking into the room, a boy and a girl.

“Hey, Mary!” The blonde haired girl exclaimed, throwing her hand up in the air. “We didn’t see you come out. What’s up?”

“You stayin’ after school or somethin’?” The boy, who had tanned skin and a light buzz cut, asked as he walked out from behind his friend.

“Yeah. Mom’s coming in to talk to Mr. Bryant today,” Mary was quick to run up to them, giving a big sigh and making no attempt to hide her displeasure. “But I really don’t want to stay, though. Mom’s just gonna complain and whine like she always does.”

“Hi, Caitlin! Hi, Leo!” Mr. Bryant greeted the kids with his usual bright smile. “You staying after?”

Caitlin flashed a mischievous grin. “We are now! Here’s an idea, Mary!” Caitlin answered. “Leo and I can stay here and hang out with you during the meeting! Is that okay?”

Stay here with her? Mary’s blue eyes glistened with delight at the suggestion. “Oh, that’d be so great!” She chirruped, her previous displeasure washing away faster than a wave of water rolling over sand. “Thanks, Cait and Leo! But won’t your parents get mad?”

“Nuh-uh,” Leo assuaged Mary’s worries with a dismissive wave of his hand. “My dad’s coming in to meet with Mr. Bryant right after you,” He added.

“And I can just text Mom and tell her I’m staying after, so it’s okay!” Caitlin reassured before turning to Mr. Bryant. “Can we stay with Mary for the meeting?”

“Sure. I don’t see why not. Just be sure to use your inside voices and clean up after you’re done playing,” Mr. Bryant replied.

Permission secured, the trio of kids clustered around one of the tables, happy to be in one another’s company. Mary couldn’t believe her luck. Her two best friends actually offered to stay after school with her! While her worries about the meeting weren’t completely alleviated, having her best friends here definitely made things much better. It wasn’t long before an older woman walked into the room, with wavy black hair tied in a side ponytail and brown eyes narrowed in an anxious expression.

“Hello, Mrs. Summers!” Mr. Bryant greeted her straight away, shaking her hand. “It’s so nice of you to come meet with me today.”

Rather than respond to his greeting, Mary’s mother immediately took notice of Caitlin and Leo. “Mary? What are your friends doing here? Shouldn’t they be heading home?” Even in the stillness of the mostly empty classroom, her loud voice seemed to boom in Mary’s ears, even though she was only seven feet away from her daughter. Mary frowned and shrunk into her seat.

“My dad’s coming in right after you, Mrs. Summers,” Leo piped up. “And we thought we’d hang out with her so she wouldn’t be bored during the meeting. We hope that’s okay.”

Mrs. Summers took in a sharp breath as she narrowed her eyes at Mary’s two friends, like she expected them to leave. Mary knew that look all too well. It already scared her to look at peoples’ eyes and faces, but she could just feel the simmering anger her mother emanated just from her gaze alone.

“Dana, it’s alright. They can stay if they like,” Mr. Bryant told her. “Now, there are some things I’d like to show you in regards to Mary’s progress in school.”

Luckily, Mr. Bryant directed her to the front of the classroom, leaving the kids to their own devices. “Hey, Mary. Want to see the new drawings my big brother made?” Caitlin unzipped her backpack and pulled out a manila folder before opening it. Inside were several impeccably detailed, colored pencil drawings depicting animals in the wilderness. One showed a deer grazing in a forest thicket. Another showed a cluster of rabbits in a field of flowers.

“Ooooh! They’re so pretty!” Mary exclaimed, in awe of just how amazing these drawings were. She wished her own art skills could be half as good as this.

The kids talked amongst themselves, as did Dana and Mr. Bryant, who were discussing other matters. Since the classroom was mostly empty, Mary could hear bits and pieces of their conversation. Her small ears caught phrases such as “Bright and imaginative,” “Ability to get along with her peer group,” “Sessions with Ms. Wagner,” and so on. Ms. Wagner was the school counselor, and sometimes Mary was allowed to go see her when she was sad or overwhelmed.

When Mary saw one particular drawing Caitlin’s brother made—depicting a majestic, white, winged unicorn flying across a rainbow—her hands flapped up and down on their own just from how immaculate it looked. The unicorn’s wings were outstretched, like it would actually fly off of the page. Mary found herself picturing herself riding that unicorn, flying to magical lands like in the TV shows and books she liked. As she found herself slipping into her blissful reverie, her hands simulated the flight of the unicorn’s wings, and the noise from the conversations around her began to fade away.

“Mary!”

Until it came back in full force in the form of her mother’s yelling. The high pitched screech rattled Mary’s eardrums, and she attempted to protect her ears by putting her hands on them, but Dana marched over to her and pried one hand off of her left ear. The force of the pull was strong, and Mary could feel her mother’s fingernails digging into her skin.

“Ow! Mom!” Mary protested weakly, using her free hand to push on her mother’s to no avail.

“What are you doing?! You’re supposed to use quiet hands!” Dana exclaimed.

“Dana, you don’t have to—” Mr. Bryant was quick to arrive on scene, but Dana cut him off before he could speak further.

“I can’t believe you’re letting her do this!” Dana shouted in his direction.

Mary flinched, shrinking into her seat from the yelling. Her mother’s grip on her arm was like iron, and no matter how much Mary struggled, she couldn’t free herself. Caitlin and Leo exchanged confused, awkward expressions, unsure of what to do. What could they do in this situation?

“Ma’am, Mary isn’t doing anything wrong,” Mr. Bryant told her. “She’s just having fun and de-stressing from the school day.”

Dana’s grip on Mary didn’t loosen one bit, even as she got right into the teacher’s face. “I don’t know what my husband told you, but you shouldn’t be encouraging this behavior!” She wasted no time making her opinion known. “She needs to learn that she can’t flap her hands or spin around or act in ways that’ll draw attention to herself! It’s your job to stamp this out! I told you this the first day we met!”

“Mom! It hurts!” Mary cried, trying to pry her mother’s fingers off of her. Caitlin attempted to help, but Dana pulled Mary away from her.

Mr. Bryant’s eyebrows furrowed, and his tone adopted a more austere, harder edge, leaving no room for funny business. “Dana. I’ve interacted with many autistic children throughout my twenty years of teaching, and I can tell you right now that actively trying to suppress Mary’s stimming isn’t the way to go about helping her succeed in school,” Mr. Bryant explained calmly, but the trio of kids could hear the seriousness in his voice clear as day. “In fact, recent studies have shown that autistic people engaging in stimming activities, like hand flapping or rocking or fiddling with a stress ball, actually helps improve their concentration and their quality of life. It helps them feel comfortable in their skin, or serves as a coping mechanism for stress.”

That was the biggest reason Mary liked Mr. Bryant. He understood her. Whenever Mary was happy and flapped her hands like a bird to show it, he never got mad at her for it. When Mary was sad and wanted to see Ms. Wagner, he let her go see her while helping her catch up on anything she missed. Mary knew she wasn’t being disruptive when she did these things. Usually being disruptive meant a kid was talking or screaming in the middle of class, and you were only allowed to talk in class if you raised your hand to answer a teacher’s question. That or making a lot of noise, like hitting a metal desk really hard, either with your hands or another object. Mary didn’t do any of those things, and didn’t want to. As long as she didn’t make any noise, what was the harm in flapping her hands or rocking? What was the big deal?

To Dana, it was a big deal. Dana’s face contorted into an angry snarl. “You may think so, but what’s going to happen if Mary becomes an adult? Has to find a job? Find a husband? Start a family? People will never give her the time of day if people like you keep enabling this unacceptable behavior!” She snapped, inundating Mr. Bryant with questions a mile a minute. “I can’t afford to clean up your mess when you let her act out like this!”

Mr. Bryant crossed his arms. “Ma’am. I’ve dealt with plenty of kids who acted out, and last I checked, flapping hands, rocking back and forth, and autistic stimming aren’t acting out. Can’t you see your daughter is under duress?” He said, pointing to Mary continuing to pry herself from her mother’s iron grip.

“Come on! Mary’s not even doing anything!” Caitlin exclaimed. “Just let her go already!”

Mary had wanted to say this herself, but her mother’s fingernails hurt so much, the pain made her throat shut down. Besides, Mary knew all too well that any attempt at trying to communicate this to her mother would just fall on deaf ears. She never listened before, so why would she listen now?

“I don’t know why I bothered coming in to see you! Come on, Mary! We’re leaving!” Dana sneered, yanking on Mary’s arm as she dragged her away.

Mr. Bryant, Caitlin, and Leo were all alone in the classroom. “Mr. Bryant! Isn’t there something you can do? She’s always mean to Mary for no reason!” Caitlin’s pleas broke the silence.

“Yeah. She always acts like Mary is some kind of troublemaker when she isn’t,” Leo added, his eyebrows knitted with concern. “We can’t just sit around and do nothing.”

Mr. Bryant sat down on one of the chairs, meeting the kids at eye level. “I already talked to the principal about how Dana’s methods have been negatively affecting Mary. Unfortunately, unless something really bad happens, or Mary explicitly confirms it herself, there isn’t anything I can really do on my end except be a safe person Mary can rely on when she’s in school and try to communicate with her father the best I can.”

Shaky breaths left everyone’s lips. This wasn’t the answer Caitlin and Leo wanted, but even they—ten year old kids—knew that there was no easy way to solve this problem. Mr. Bryant wished he had something better for them, and for Mary as well.

Things weren’t much better as Dana put Mary in the car and took her home. Dana continued to complain and prattle on about Mary flapping her hands during the meeting. Mary covered her ears and tried to shrink into herself, wishing she could just teleport away. But she was trapped, and unable to escape her mother’s wrath.

“Seriously, Mary! I really thought you were over the whole hand flapping and rocking by now!” Dana growled, making a sharp turn at a bend. “I didn’t put you through three years of ABA just so you could go back to acting like a ninny!”

Mary bristled at the three letters put together. The last thing she wanted to think about was that. She squeezed her eyes shut, fighting back tears. They are words she has heard before on a constant basis. But somehow, every venomous word seemed to cut into her skin like knives, and every cut hurt worse than the last.

“Get it into your head already. Nobody’s going to love you if you keep acting so strange! Honestly, would it kill you to think about all the trouble you cause me every day?! And for the love of God, take your hands off your ears and look at me when I talk to you!”

She didn’t want to see her mother’s angry face. Her yelling hurt like a million explosions going off. But she couldn’t just jump out of the car. Dana had the child safety locks on, and Mary couldn’t just run into the house as soon as they pulled into the driveway. Her mother had the keys, so she had to wait until she opened the door to their house. The second it was open, Mary ran right inside. Sanctuary, at last!

“Mary? How was school—” A thin, lanky man with black hair walked into the living room as soon as he heard the door open. But he couldn’t finish his question, as Mary ran into him so hard, she almost knocked him over. She wrapped her skinny arms around his waist, but not all the way, as they were too short, and buried her face into his olive green sweater. The man didn’t need to do much to figure out that Mary was upset. “You alright, Mary?”

“Daddy…” Mary’s whimpers were muffled by his sweater, but the pain in her voice was unmistakable.

Not long after that, a young girl came walking into the living room, notebooks in hand. Her black hair was shorter than Mary’s arranged in a chin-length bob cut, and not tied into two braids like Mary’s were. Thick, round glasses obscured her eyes, and she looked to be high school aged.

“Hi, Mary! Hi, Mom!” The girl greeted them with an awkward smile, but could feel the atmosphere growing tense. “Uhh...is something wrong?”

“Todd! We need to talk right this minute!” Dana bellowed.

Paying his wife no heed, Todd gently stroked Mary’s hair with one hand. “You don’t have to tell me about it if you’re not ready,” Todd whispered reassuringly. “Would you like to hang out with Reagan while I speak to your mother in private?”

Mary gave a silent nod before walking over to Reagan, her older sister. The two of them walked upstairs and made their way to Reagan’s room. Immediately, Mary flopped onto the bed, savoring her sister’s purple comforter by hugging a huge chunk of it tightly. Reagan sat down next to her, frowning as she looked at the door. Even one floor up, their parents’ voices were loud enough that they could hear them arguing.

“Do you...want to talk about it?” Reagan asked sheepishly.

Mary crawled closer to Reagan and laid her head on her lap. Recognizing the signal, Reagan stroked the back of Mary’s head, taking care not to touch her braids.

“Let me guess: Mom saw you stimming and freaked out again, didn’t she?” Reagan asked, feeling her jaw clench. “Can’t even say I’m surprised at this point. She really needs to stop being such a drama queen.”

“Agreed,” Mary chimed in. “Caitlin was showing me her brother’s drawings, and they were really pretty. I imagined myself riding the winged unicorn in one of the pictures. That’s when Mom got mad,” She explained as succinctly as she could.

“Sorry to hear that, little sis,” Reagan’s voice was barely above a whisper, just the way Mary liked it. Not too loud, but not so quiet that Mary couldn’t hear her. “It sucks that she can’t seem to accept that you’re fine the way you are. But don’t worry. You know Dad and I always have your back. Okay?”

As sad as Mary still felt about her mother, she gave a slow nod. “Mr. Bryant did too. He was mad at Mom when she yelled at me,” Mary told her.

Reagan flashed a smile. “He was my favorite teacher when I went to your school,” She admitted.

One thing Mary noticed that her sister had in common with Mr. Bryant was that they never made her feel ashamed of herself. Reagan let her talk about her day and always listened to her, never telling her to shut up or treating her like a nuisance. Still, Mary found herself wishing her mother would be the same way.

“Do you want to watch some cat videos with me? I found some really good ones,” Reagan suggested with a grin.

Mary sat up from her sister’s lap and nodded, joining her at her computer desk to watch funny cat videos for a few minutes. But as good as the cat videos were, she knew this moment of bliss would be fleeting at best. In a few hours, it would be dinner time, and that was where the big family discussions happened. She tried to savor the free time she had before dinner. When she grew bored of watching cat videos, she slinked into her room, her sanctuary, to find something else to do.

One step inside, and Mary smiled to herself, finally back in her sanctuary. Her bedroom’s bright pink walls, white ceiling, pink flowery comforter, white pillows, bookcase filled with books and DVDs, the stuffed animals neatly lining up against her pillows, the floral carpet underneath her bed, turquoise nightstand, the lamp with rabbits running across its shade, the wooden toybox...this was her heaven on Earth. Mary walked over to her bed and pulled out one stuffed animal in particular, a white stuffed bunny with black button eyes, a pink, sewn on nose shaped like a triangle, long, floppy ears, and a pink bow on its neck.

“Hi, Mimi!” Mary cradled her stuffed bunny in her arms and sat on her bed, criss-crossing her legs pretzel style. “Guess what? Leo showed me one of his wooden sculptures at recess today! He carved a pretty bird!”

Mary talked to Mimi as if she were a person, and that was how she liked it. The stuffed bunny was a gift she received from her mother on her fourth birthday. Her father told her shortly afterward that she would always listen to her troubles and be her friend no matter what. Good thing stuffed animals can’t talk, so Mimi did turn out to be a great listener. Mary could talk to her and she would never be told to shut up or that she was just being a whiny baby or push her away. Mary would always play make believe with Mimi, imagining what kind of personality she’d have or what things she liked or didn’t like.

Fantasy could be better than reality that way.

Before long, it was time for dinner, and Dana cooked up chicken, green beans, and rice pilaf. Mary liked chicken and rice pilaf, but she hated green beans. They tasted terribly slimy, and whenever she felt them going down her throat, they felt like worms were wiggling around. Normally, dinner was a lively affair, where everyone talked about their day and shared stories about stuff that happened. Today though, the atmosphere was heavy, and Dana’s expression was still as sour and scrunched up as it was when she brought Mary home from school. Everyone could see it, and they could only eat their meal in awkward silence. Just looking at Dana’s contorted face sucked the energy right out of the dining room.

For a moment, at least. “So Reagan, how was school?” Todd asked, forcing a smile.

“Alright. I managed to ace my history test, so there’s that,” Reagan replied, her smile a bit more natural.

“That’s wonderful, honey! I knew you had it in you!” Todd exclaimed, his grin relaxing upon hearing the news. He gently put a reassuring hand on Reagan’s shoulder. “Just for that, I’m ordering pizza for all of us this weekend.”

“Yay! Pizza!” Mary cheered, throwing her arms up in the air, utensils in both hands.

Todd addressed Mary next. “Did you get your math test back yet, Mary?”

“Not yet, Dad,” Mary replied, taking one bite of green beans. Her face contorted when the slimy food slithered down her throat. She really didn’t want to think about math. All those numbers and confusing long division problems.

“Hey Mary,” Reagan leaned to the side so Mary could hear her. “I found this new manga I think you might like. It’s called Yuzu The Pet Vet, and it’s about a girl who’s sent to live with her veterinarian uncle and has to help at his animal clinic. She’s afraid of animals at first but she interacts with all kinds of people and their pets and starts to like them more.”

A girl learning to be a vet. Mary immediately found the idea piquing her interest. “Sounds cool.”

“Next time we go to the bookstore, I’ll see if I can find you the volumes that are out,” Reagan said.

Mary couldn’t wait. She kicked her legs up and down as she ate all of her rice pilaf, happy as a clam.

Unfortunately, the bliss only lasted five seconds. Dana shot a cold glare at her husband before speaking, her voice tight and stone hard. “Todd. When are we going to discuss this problem?”

There was the danger signal. Mary and Reagan shared awkward glances, knowing instinctively that this was going to get ugly.

“What problem, Dana?” Todd asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

“Mary’s regression, that’s what!” Dana exclaimed, pointing her fork right at Mary. “The teacher’s been telling me that he’s letting Mary flap her hands and rock back and forth in class, even though I very clearly told him that he shouldn’t be allowing her to do that!”

Wanting to get out of the dining room right away, Mary began scarfing the rest of her dinner down faster than she normally did. The faster she got out of here, the better. Reagan did the same.

“Dana, you’ve seen her progress reports. Mary’s doing fine,” Todd attempted to quell his wife’s barely contained rage. “In fact, her grades have gone up since my last meeting with her teacher and the social worker. They found that she does better when she engages in her stimming.”

“Even though they could interfere with her chances of having a normal life when she grows up?!” Dana’s voice rose an octave. “Todd, why are you letting that teacher enable this behavior?! Didn’t you learn anything from all the times we took her to ABA?!”

Todd kept his voice calm and collected, but the girls could see from the way his hands shook that he was starting to lose his patience. “Dana, why are you even making this into an issue? Aren’t you happy that Mary’s made so much progress in her schooling? You really ought to be more supportive.”

“Yeah, really,” Reagan muttered bitterly under her breath.

But Mary knew the conversation wouldn’t end there. She ate the rest of her green beans and hurried to the kitchen, plate in hand. “Thanks, that was good!” She hastily shouted, putting her plate and utensils in the sink before running back to her room to do her homework.

“The only thing I can ever imagine supporting her in is a genuine attempt to be more like her peers!” Mary happened to catch this particular sentence as she ran up the stairs. She closed the door behind her, leaned against it, and slumped to the ground, deflated and desolate. Fresh tears trickled out from Mary’s eyes as she pulled out her worksheets. She wondered if there would ever be a time when her mother would be happy for her or say she was proud of her. Mary couldn’t picture her mother doing that. For Reagan, maybe, but not Mary. 

With this desolate thought in mind, Mary set about doing her homework...which turned out to be laughably easy. She finished it within half an hour. Now that she finished, she crawled onto her bed and held Mimi close.

“Mimi...I think Mom hates me,” Mary murmured into her stuffed rabbit’s fur. “Why doesn’t she love me?”

In the back of her mind, Mary knew the answer to that, but thinking about it made her head hurt. She didn’t want to think of her mother’s constant need to point out Mary’s issues, but considering Dana never seemed to want to stop, they always found some way of crawling back into her head. Thankfully, a knock at the door pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Mary? Can I come in?” It was her father. He walked inside and sat down on the bed next to Mary with a sympathetic smile on his face. “Hey there, Bunny.”

Bunny was her father’s nickname for her, as she loves rabbits. Mary smiled just a bit. “Sorry about earlier. I admittedly can’t fathom why your mother insists on making everything into a big issue,” He said, rubbing his bushy hair with one hand. “Anyway, other than that, how was school?”

“Fine,” Mary said sheepishly. “I finished my homework just now.”

“That’s good. Your grades have gone up a lot since the last meeting. I’m really proud of you, sweetie,” Todd reassured, stroking Mary’s hair with his hand. Mary smiled, savoring his touch. She liked it when her father did this, as his touch was always gentle and smooth. Whenever her mother did it, her nails would always scratch her scalp in a way that hurt, and her movements were always too rough and too fast. Her father knew to slow down when he did so.

As much as Mary wanted to believe what he said, another thought popped into her mind. This time, she couldn’t keep it in. “Dad?”

“Hm? What is it?”

“Does Mom...hate me?”

Todd’s eyes widened and his mouth fell agape. “Your mother doesn’t hate you. What makes you think that?”

Mary clung to Mimi tighter than usual. “You guys told me last month I’m autistic, right? And that makes me different from other kids? Mom’s always complaining about it and everything I do. Would she…” Mary squeezed her eyes shut, hating that she even felt she had to say this out loud. “Would she like me better if I wasn’t—?”

“Stop right there, Mary,” Todd cut her off before she could finish, his tone hardening. But no sooner than it hardened, his voice went back to being soft. “Your mother doesn’t hate you, nor do your sister and I. I didn’t tell you about your autism because I wanted to make you sad or make you think something’s wrong with you,” He explained, sliding off the bed and kneeling down to meet Mary’s face. “I told you about it because I feel you have a right to know about how your mind works. It’s a part of you, and no matter how much your mother complains about it on a daily basis, that won’t ever change. It also doesn’t change the fact that you’re my daughter.”

“Then why does Mom always yell at me whenever I do anything? I follow the rules like she tells me, but…” Mary couldn’t bring herself to finish her sentence. That was just it. It never felt like enough.

Her father sighed. “Let’s just say she’s always had a hard time accepting it, and frankly, it’s been getting on my nerves as well. But…” He smiled at Mary once more. “I want you to remember that you can talk to me about anything. Even about your mom. Don’t ever feel like you can’t rely on me for anything. I’ll always have your back no matter what. Reagan does, too.”

Mary hoisted herself up and patted her comforter, conveying that she wanted him to sit with her. He sat down on the bed and Mary snuggled up to him, with Todd wrapping one arm around her. The two of them sat there in their shared peaceful silence for a while, savoring each other’s warmth. Mary’s nostrils caught the scent of butter on the fabric of his sweater. It was warm, like fresh toast, and she could feel his chest rising and falling with his shallow breaths. She wished every day could be like this. At least her father wouldn’t constantly complain about everything Mary did on a regular basis.

“Do you want me to read one of your books to you before bed?” Todd asked.

Mary nodded.

“Which one?”

“How about Matilda?”

Todd smiled. “That’s a good choice right there.”

Friday, the final day of the week before the weekend. Mary sat through the first half of school in anticipation, her legs bouncing whenever she was made to sit still for long periods of time. Not from being nervous, but from wanting to pass the time and get any lingering energy she couldn’t expend out of her system. She couldn’t wait to end the school day so she could spend as much time with her sister and father as possible. But getting through the day was easier said than done.

During English class, Mary often felt something hitting her on the head. It felt like wadded up paper balls. When she looked down, she found three of them at her feet. She tried to ignore them, but felt a fourth one against her head not seconds after she wrote some notes down. But she didn’t dare turn around. She knew exactly who the culprit was. For now though, she didn’t want to be bothered with dealing with him. She focused on the lesson as much as possible. After a while, the paper ball assault stopped, not that it amounted to much.

Recess came, and Mary wasted no time joining Caitlin and Leo in their favorite spot on the blacktop, the top left corner of the fence, just below the plum blossom tree that always turned into a cloud of pink white blooms in the spring. Of course, the tree was naked, without a single leaf on it, since it was October already. But the blacktop had been blanketed with a collage of leaves in colors that never ceased to be amazing. Blazing red, tangerine orange, golden yellow, majestic bronze. Caitlin in particular jumped into one pile of leaves and was throwing them all over the place.

“Wheeee! It’s raining leaves!” Caitlin cheered, simulating rainfall by throwing the leaves upward. Mary and Leo giggled as leaves piled onto them, throwing them back at her in playful revenge.

Leo held two red ones next to both sides of his head. “Rawr! I am the Demogorgon! Fear me, lowly mortals!”

Caitlin immediately called the depiction into question. “Come on, Leo! The Demogorgon doesn’t have leafy ears!”

“The one I came up with does!”

The three of them giggled and played pretend for most of the recess. This was the best part of the day for Mary. Spending time with her friends and being whoever she wanted to be, herself included. At least here, her mother wouldn’t constantly hover over her and yell at her for silly things. Knowing Dana, she’d probably scold Mary for not even playing the right way. Was there even a right way to play? Mary knew there weren’t any special rules for playing with her friends. They didn’t care about that stuff, so why should she?

“Hey, Leo,” Mary gently tapped Leo’s shoulder. “Is your baby sister learning to crawl yet?”

“Oh! I never told you?” Leo swiveled around, shocked that he hadn’t told her. “Sorry about that. But yeah, Valentina started crawling last week! It’s kinda fun to see her crawl around the house like she’s on a mission,” He exclaimed, his voice bubbling over with delight like soda fizz. “Next time you come over, you guys can play together. She really likes this one tambourine toy Mom got her a while ago.”

“That’d be great!” Mary agreed, looking forward to it. If her mother would ever let her, that is. But she did find herself feeling a bit uncomfortable and immediately knew why. “I gotta run to the bathroom real quick. I’ll be right back!”

Mary waved to her friends as she raced back to the double doors leading back into the school. Caitlin and Leo waved back before throwing leaves at each other again. Mary made her way to the bathroom, thankful that she made it on time. Once she was done, she washed her hands, recoiling a bit at how smelly the soap was. It smelled like rotting gum. Could gum even rot? She had no clue. She wiped her hands and walked out the bathroom door...but froze in place when she saw a boy her age coming her way.

As soon as he had her in her sights, the red haired boy immediately approached her, glaring at her the whole time, flashing a smirk like he had plans for her. Not the good kind of plans. “Oh what, need your diaper changed, baby?” He drawled in a deliberately nasally, patronizing fashion.

Mary kept walking, knowing there were better things to do than waste her time with him. “Leave me alone, Greg.”

Greg didn’t get the message. He reached out and grabbed Mary’s shirt, pulling her right back towards him. “Ow! Hey!”

“I’m talking to you, stupid!” Greg howled. “You’re gonna pay for getting me in trouble with Mr. Bryant last week!”

It didn’t take much for Mary to figure out what he was talking about. Last week, some items belonging to the students had gone missing, including one of Mary’s books. During recess, Mary was going to get a book from her backpack to show Caitlin, but accidentally knocked over Greg’s backpack in doing so. All of the items belonging to the students fell out, confirming that he had stolen them. Having been taught that stealing is wrong, Mary wasted no time taking Greg’s bag and showing it to Mr. Bryant, telling him what happened. When classes restarted, Mr. Bryant forced Greg to return the items and made him stay inside for recess for the rest of the week.

Mary wriggled out from his grasp, glaring at him. Why was he still so obsessed with that. As far as Mary was concerned, he brought it on himself. “Just go away, Greg!” She yelled before turning on her heel and trying to leave again. Unfortunately, Greg ran right in front of her, arms akimbo, preventing her escape.

“Hey! Can you move?!”

“Nuh-uh! Not until I beat your dumb face in!”

A chill ran down Mary’s spine. She did not want to be his personal punching bag. She ran underneath one of his arms and tried to run, but Greg reached out and grabbed her by the shirt collar, pulling her back yet again.

“Ow!” Mary’s shirt collar pressed onto her neck, almost cutting into it. “Help!” She cried out.

“You know nobody actually cares about you, right?” Greg insinuated, his tone overflowing with venom. “Not even Mr. Bryant or Ms. Wagner. They only get paid to pretend to care about you.”

“Get off me!!” Mary shouted as loud as her little voice could muster. Her whole being screamed at her to get out of there and break free from Greg’s grasp. Her teeth clenched as Greg called her teachers’ integrity into question. Greg was full of it! Wasn’t he? He had to be. He just had to. He didn’t know anything.

The sound of harsh footsteps never sounded so heavenly before now.

“Gregory Kesserling!!”

Mr. Bryant’s voice boomed throughout the hall. Greg stopped, freezing in place upon hearing his name. Seeing an opening, Mary finally pried herself away from Greg and hid behind Mr. Bryant. The large man towered over the scrawny red haired boy, his stony glare hard enough to kill if at all possible. Greg’s mouth fell agape as he shrunk under his teacher’s gaze.

“...Y-Yes, sir?” Greg sputtered. “I was just—”

Unfazed, Mr. Bryant pointed further up the hall. “Greg. Principal’s office. With me. Now,” He ordered.

The boy’s anger swiftly returned. “No! I don’t wanna! Why do you always give stupid Mary special treatment?! You act like she’s your baby!” He protested.

“Nobody is giving anyone special treatment, Greg,” Mr. Bryant asserted, not paying Greg’s protests any heed. “Your behavior is unacceptable, and I think it’s high time I called your mother about this. I don’t know what makes you think picking on other kids is okay, but this behavior cannot go on.”

Mr. Bryant shot a sympathetic look towards Mary. “You’d best get back outside, Mary. I’ll handle things from here,” He told her.

Mary gave a vigorous nod and walked back outside. But she did linger a bit so she could watch Mr. Bryant escort Greg to the principal’s office. She had to admit, hearing Greg whine in protest was fairly satisfying. Maybe now he’d get some degree of punishment that would make him stop his mean ways once and for all.

She found herself wishing someone would do the same thing with her own mother. Or was that not possible? Mary frowned at the thought.

Thankfully, the rest of the day turned out much better. Greg didn’t come back to class for the entire day, and even math class, Mary’s least favorite subject, turned out better than she expected. At the end of said class, the math tests were given back to the students. Mary found hers, and she sucked in an audible gasp when she saw the number at the top right corner.

A big, bold, red 90 in a circle.

“I passed!!” So overcome was Mary with undiluted joy that she wound up shouting her thoughts without meaning to. Everyone in the classroom turned to stare when they heard her delighted shout. Mary paid them no heed. She had spent weeks studying for this test and was afraid she would fail. Numbers and long division rarely ever computed to her, and a bad grade would just give her mother more reason to yell at her. Seeing the two wonderful digits put together alleviated those fears like they had never been there at all.

“Mary?” A female teacher called out. “You’d best use your inside voice.”

“Oh!” The teacher’s reminder brought her back to reality and she shrunk into her seat. “Whoops. Sorry,” Her cheeks flared red. She hadn’t meant to disrupt class, and instantly regretted it. There was some consolation in that the teacher didn’t dwell on the issue and moved on, as did everyone else. Still, Mary smiled to herself, kicking her legs up and down, unable to contain her happiness. She couldn’t wait to get home and show her math test to her parents.

When the final bell rang, Mary raced out the classroom door, as did the other students, and when she got outside, looked around for her father’s silver BMW. It was easy to find, as it had a black stripe going across the side. Once she found it, she opened the door and sat down in the front seat.

“Hi, Mary. How was school today?” Todd asked.

“Look, Dad!” Mary rummaged through her backpack and pulled out her math test. “I aced the math test!” She bellowed happily.

Todd took it into his hands to look it over for a bit. “Wow, that’s wonderful, Mary! Great job!” He snaked an arm around Mary and pulled her into a hug. “I knew you could do it! See these ones? You had so much trouble with these problems before.”

Mary’s heart was aglow with sunshine in this moment. For the first time today, Mary felt proud.

“I know, right?”

Todd gave a knowing grin. “Since you passed, would you like to go to the bookstore to get a new book?” He asked.

The bookstore? Mary squealed. “Yes! Yes please!”

Todd gave a chuckle. “Alright. I just need to run home and get some things. I’ll ask if Reagan wants to come, too.”

Mary didn’t mind one bit as she hummed to herself throughout the entire car ride home. The bookstore! She had been looking forward to it for several weeks now, and she knew exactly what she wanted to get once they got there. When they made it home, Mary put her school stuff away, and she heard her father ask Reagan if she’d like to go to the bookstore with them.

“Oooh, sure! Count me in! I’ve been wanting to pick up some new manga,” Mary could hear the excitement in Reagan’s voice. Mary then pulled out her math test and found her mother in the dining room, looking over some documents.

“Hey, Mom! Look! I got an A on my math test!” Mary announced, waving the paper next to her mother.

Without a word, Dana snatched the paper from Mary’s hands and looked it over. She still had that severe expression on her face, like she expected Mary to fail. Mary’s nose caught the scent of coffee, and she looked down to see the mug her mother was drinking out of. A white one, with the words Cure Autism Now in indigo printed on it. A knot formed in Mary’s stomach, and her previous enthusiasm over her test faded. More so when Dana put her test back down and stared daggers at her.

“Mary, you know you’re supposed to look people in the eye when you talk to them. We’ve been over this,” Dana snapped. She reached out to grab Mary’s chin and force her to look at her face, but the girl took a step back, evading the invasive hand.

That's what she was concerned about? Mary couldn’t believe it. She thought her mother would be happy about this. Mary didn’t like looking at people’s eyes. She always felt scrutinized and judged whenever she saw people’s eyes. She especially hated looking at her mother’s eyes. They always looked angry. She tried to pretend she was doing so by looking at people’s foreheads, as those weren’t as scary, but her mother always seemed to notice and call attention to it. Mary clenched her teeth as she took the test back, not realizing she had accidentally pulled some of the documents and made them scatter onto the floor.

“Mary!! Darn it!!” Dana yelled, standing up and bending down to pick them up. “Can’t you go one day without knocking things over?! I need to pay these bills!”

“Sorry! It was an accident,” Immediately remorseful, she covered her ears, but kneeled down to help clean up.

“Don’t!” Dana held a hand up, telling her to back off. “You’ll just make it worse!”

“I just wanted to help clean up…” Mary muttered, her small voice defeated. She walked back into the living room to wait for her father to say they were leaving. Earlier she felt so proud of having passed a hard math test. Her own mother didn’t even care, more concerned that Mary never looked people in the eye and knocked something over by accident.

Dana finished cleaning up right as Todd and Reagan walked into the living room. “You ready, Mary?” Reagan asked.

Mary ran to join them, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Now she could get away from her mother for a bit and have some fun in her favorite place.

“Wait! I’m going with you!”

Or not. Mary’s shoulders slumped, and her face blanched. Her mother wanted to come with them? Since when? This didn’t make sense. Every vein in her body was screaming that this was a disaster waiting to happen.

“Mom, you don’t have to come with us,” Reagan told her. It didn’t take much for a teenage girl to figure out why her mother wanted to accompany them to the bookstore. Mary knew it as well. “Didn’t you say you had stuff to do today?”

“Yeah, but I’m sick of being in the house all the time,” Dana replied, pulling on her shirt collar to adjust it. All three of them could tell she was steadfast and wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “I need to get out for a bit.”

Both Mary and Reagan knew this was a complete and utter lie. She never wanted to just get out of the house for anything. They knew she was convinced Mary would either scream or have a meltdown if she was out of her sight outside of school, even though she never did any of those things. At least, not without good reason. Mary balled her hands into fists. She didn’t want her mother to come with her. She’d just make a big stink and ruin everything. It had happened lots of times before. But this was rude to say to a parent, and knowing her mother, she’d come with them whether they liked it or not.

Knowing it was pointless to argue, Todd let out a sigh. “Sure. I know you like your romance novels. Maybe you can find a new one to read while we’re there. Didn’t you say you were into Cody Perault’s stuff?” He tried to make light conversation, but the tension didn’t ease one bit.

The bookstore in question was a Barnes and Noble in Monroeville, just a couple towns from where the Summers lived and fairly close by car. Mary loved going there. It was big, spacious, and more often than not, wasn’t very crowded. Everything had its designated place, and she always knew where to find something. If she couldn’t find what she wanted, she could ask one of the nice employees to order it for her to pick up later. The second she walked in, she made a beeline for the manga section, zipping past the tables filled with books that the store was advertising.

“Mary! Don’t run in the store!” Dana called out.

At this point, Mary paid her no heed, nor did she want to at this point. She found the manga section just behind the fantasy section and immediately went to the end of the shelf, her eyes examining the books that started with Y. Mary beamed when she saw her target: Volumes one and two of Yuzu The Pet Vet. The only ones on the shelf, with no duplicates. But when she reached out to grab them, a hand yanked volume one out of the shelf.

Mary looked up, wondering who the culprit was. A teenaged girl a little older than Reagan, with long, scraggly red hair cascading down her back, wearing a black hoodie, matching jeans, and tall boots. The girl flipped through the book she pulled out for a bit before noticing Mary in her peripheral vision.

“Oh! Sorry. Did you want this?” The red haired girl asked.

As much as Mary wanted to say yes, a part of her told her to be more considerate. Maybe this older girl wanted it more than she did. Who was she to take that away from her? Her mother always got on her case about putting others’ needs before her own and to be more considerate of others. The thoughts shut her vocal chords down, and she found herself unable to answer.

To her relief, the girl smiled and handed the book back, seeing through her hesitation. “Here you go. I can always order a copy online.”

“You sure?” Mary asked, not taking the book right away.

“Yup. No biggie.”

Permission secured, Mary gingerly took the book out of the girl’s hands. “Tha—”

“Mary! Say thank you when someone does something nice for you!” Dana’s loud voice made Mary’s heart jump.

“I was just about to!” Mary snapped, her voice adopting a stony, angry tone. But she immediately softened it when she faced the red-haired girl again. “Thanks, Miss.”

The red haired girl gave a wave before walking away. But the awful knot in Mary’s stomach tightened even more than before. Mary held the two books close to her chest, hoping squeezing them would get her frustration out, but it didn’t. Why did her mom have to come in and interrupt her? Mary was going to tell the girl thanks, but she acted like she wasn’t. Did her mother think it was her personal mission to needle Mary every single time she did anything at all?

“Mom, Mary’s not three years old anymore,” Reagan told her. “She knows how to say thank you to people. You don’t have to constantly remind her all the time.”

Dana turned back to her older daughter with a quizzical eyebrow. “She’s not like you, Reagan. She constantly forgets her manners. She needs to improve her social skills every day. If I don’t remind her, who will? She can’t afford to forget her manners. Not with how she is.”

Of course. Mary could only roll her eyes. Already tired of being next to her, Mary slowly made her way to the children’s section. It was laughably easy to find, what with its brightly colored boards and walls. But being here didn’t make her feel any better. The events from today began to amass in her heart. Greg’s bullying, her mother not even noticing the good grade she got on her test, and now being needled about her manners even though she knew them already. Mary wished her mother didn’t insist on coming with them.

“Find anything you like, Mary?” Her father’s kind voice pulled her out of her reverie.

“Just these. But I want to see if I can find a new book,” Mary replied, eyeing a table displaying newer books.

One book in particular had a cover depicting a girl standing in a snowy forest bathed in a golden orange sunset with a dog next to her. The girl was facing away from Mary, holding a stick in her hands. Mary opened the cover and looked at the premise. The story was about a girl and her dog trying to go to a friend’s house for a sleepover, only to wake up one day to find the town is mysteriously empty. Everyone disappeared, leaving her and her dog completely and utterly alone. Interest piqued, Mary took the book into her hands, flipping through some of the pages. It sounded cool.

“Mary!” Mary bristled. There was her mother’s voice again. Oddly enough, it was higher pitched and sounded nasally. Dana walked over to her, holding a square-looking book in her hand. “I found something I think you might like.”

Dana showed her the book, and Mary grimaced. The book’s cover depicted a pig dressed in a bib, a diaper, and a blue bonnet, holding a rattle and sitting in a high chair. Sitting on the attached table was a porcelain creamer shaped like a cow. Mary’s face contorted in disgust, especially when she realized the book, though it looked big, didn’t have many pages. Dana wanted her to read this weird-looking picture book? It looked like something only three-year-olds would read.

“No thanks,” Mary said, trying to be as polite as possible. But just looking at that...could that pig even be called a piglet? Perhaps a better term for it would be pig baby. Mary turned to pick up the book she looked at, but Dana slapped a hand down on it, preventing her daughter from taking in.

“Come on, Mary. Don’t be like that,” Dana continued talking in an almost babyish, condescending voice, refusing to take the hint. “You like these kinds of stuff!”

“Not anymore,” Mary asserted, removing her mother’s hand from her preferred book and taking it off the shelf.

Seeing what was going on, Reagan’s mouth fell agape and her eyes went wide, completely scandalized. “Mom! Mary’s nine years old! She’s way too old for those baby books you keep trying to force on her!” She exclaimed.

Dana put a finger to her mouth and hissed at Reagan, “Inside voice!”

Knowing that she was probably going to make a scene, Mary ran from the children’s section to find her father. He wasn’t far, as he was in the DVD section. Mary stayed with him from then on, refusing to leave his side. The bucket that was her heart was starting to overflow from the stress of everything. Mary pursed her lips together tightly. Why did her mother have to come? This would have been much more fun had she stayed home and watched her soap operas. After everyone got everything they wanted, they went to the cash register to pay for them. Mary still felt wound up, and she needed to get this anxious feeling out of her system. She knew just what would do the trick. Standing behind her parents so they wouldn’t see, Mary flapped her hands at her side, remembering the pretty winged unicorn drawing Caitlin showed her. She closed her eyes, imagining the winged unicorn flying across the rainbow, using her hands to simulate flight once more. Already, she could feel the frustration finally leaving her system as she gradually lost herself in a brief moment of respite.

...Until she was forcefully pulled out of it by a hand clamping onto her smaller ones.

“Ow! Ow! Stop!” Mary cried out, her eyes slamming open when she saw who was responsible. Her mother’s face leaned right into hers, leaving no room for anything else.

“Mary! What part of quiet hands don’t you understand?!” Dana screamed so loud, Mary’s eardrums rattled from the inside.

This was too much. Her mother’s fingernails dug into her skin, like snake fangs biting down on her. The colorful walls were suddenly too bright. The ringing and clicking noises from the cash register got louder. Myriad eyes locked onto them in all directions. Dana’s voice exploded in her ears. It needed to stop. She needed to get away.

“Mom! Let me go!” Mary cried out.

“Come on, Mom! Don’t do this!” Reagan attempted to pry her mother’s arms off of Mary, but Dana turned her back to her.

“Mary! You are not doing this here!” Dana yelled. “You are NOT going to throw a tantrum on me!”

Everything was closing in fast. Mary tried to pull away, but her mother’s fingernails dug deeper. The pain shut down her vocal chords, stripping her of words, and all Mary could make out was an agonized screech. It hurt! It hurt so bad! Why didn’t her mother stop? Why won’t she let her go? Mary furiously pulled away as hard as she could.

“Dana! Stop! She’s not doing anything!” Todd managed to pry Dana’s hands off of his younger daughter.

Finally, she was free! For about five seconds. But Dana raced to catch up with her. Rather than simply blocking her path, Dana lunged at her, pinning the girl to the cold tile floor. The spectacle mounted. Mary tried to pull herself up, but her mother’s weight kept her trapped. She kicked her legs outward, but it was futile. She attempted to throw her hands outward, but her mother’s hands coiled around them, harder this time, obstructing movement. Mary’s vision blurred, and tears trickled out. This couldn’t be happening. Why was her mother doing this? Shouts and screams echoed all around her, and Mary couldn’t use her hands to cover her ears and protect them.

“Dana! Get off her! You’re hurting her!” Todd protested, trying desperately to pull his wife off of her.

“No!” She snapped back savagely, her black locks tumbling about her contorted face. “Unlike you, I’m trying to get her under control!! Somebody has to around here! You certainly won’t, since you can’t even be bothered to get her to use quiet hands!!”

Mary screamed. She needed to get out of here NOW. Everything was too painful. But she couldn’t escape no matter how much she fought and struggled. Her mother’s legs locked her little body into place like a cage, and her fingernails continued to pin her arms down, digging deeper into her skin. This was too much. Too much. Everything was falling apart all around her.

“Mom! Stop it!!” Finally, Reagan yanked her mother off of Mary by pulling on her body with such force that she managed to get her to release her.

Free from her awful imprisonment, Mary made a beeline for the exit. She needed someplace quiet. Not here. Not where her mother was screaming at her. She knew she couldn’t run away outright, as she didn’t want to worry her father and sister. She managed to turn the corner, where she could see the entrance to the Party City at the mall. The sky was gradually sporting specs of orange, and the air was chilly against her splotchy wet face. But she didn’t care at this point. There was no yelling, so she was safe. It helped that there wasn’t anyone else outside at the moment, so she didn’t need to worry about them either looking at her weird or yelling at her to shut up. She slumped against the wall and bawled into her hands. After a minute of crying, she looked down at her wrists and gasped at what she saw.

Red crescent shaped scratches lined her wrists, with some having fresh blood trickling down her skin. No wonder her mother’s fingernails hurt so much. The tears overflowed from her blue eyes as she cried harder. All Mary was doing was flapping her hands and trying to calm down. Why did her mother completely freak out like that? It wasn’t the first time Dana had acted like that, but this was far worse than all the other times she could remember. She didn’t understand at all. Caitlin’s mother wasn’t like her. Leo’s mother certainly wasn’t either. They never got mad whenever Caitlin and Leo did anything, only when they did something they shouldn’t, like get into fights or refuse to clean their rooms.

More than that...when was the last time Mary ever saw her mother smile? At Mary, no less? She smiled at everyone except for her.

Why? Was it because...she was autistic?

“Mary!” Reagan came running, sighing with relief as she kneeled to her level, keeping just a couple feet away. “Thank goodness!”

It was easy for Reagan to see that Mary didn’t look good at all. Mary didn’t dare look at her. She was too ashamed to do so. Reagan frowned and pushed a plastic bag towards Mary. “Here are your books. If you’d like, we can read them together when we get home—Oh my God!” Reagan noticed the scratches on her sister’s wrists. “You’re bleeding!”

“I wanna go home,” That was all that Mary had it in her to choke out. Her small voice was trembling and battered.

“I’m so sorry, Mary. Mom should never have done that to you. She actually hurt you!” Reagan lamented. “God, she has the nerve to claim you’re the one who makes a scene, but really she’s always the one who does just that! Ugh, I even knew she’d do this the second she said she said she wanted to come, and yet…”

“I didn’t even do anything…” Mary muttered bitterly. Her nerves began to ease upon hearing that even after that awful scene, Reagan was still on her side.

“I know,” Reagan assured. There was a brief silence as Mary curled into a fetal position and began rocking. She needed to push the sadness out. Usually, rocking would help, but this time it didn’t work, mainly because Mary knew that her mother would just start yelling at her again as soon as she had her in her sights. “Do you...want some privacy?”

“No. Please stay.”

Reagan wished she had brought something to cover Mary’s scratches, like band-aids or even a paper napkin. At least until they got home so she could treat them properly. For a short while, the two sisters sat together in the frigid October air in silence until their father came to get them. No words were exchanged between the four of them throughout the entire car ride home. Except for two.

“Dana. You are never doing that again,” Todd leaned into his wife’s space and hissed through angrily clenched teeth.

“No,” Dana hissed right back. “I’ll do it a hundred more times until Mary finally gets it. It’s high time she learns to care about what someone else wants or needs for a change, even if she has to pretend to be interested!”

Mary shrunk into her seat, curling into herself, wishing she could disappear.

The rest of the day didn’t go much better, even after Todd disinfected and wrapped Mary’s scratches with bandages. Dinner was tense as everyone ate their food in awkward, simmering silence. Even though Reagan and Mary spent the rest of the day watching a movie on Netflix in Reagan’s room, they could hear their parents arguing even from a floor up. Everyone went to bed that night, hoping this awful day would finally be done and over with.

But Mary found herself restless, unable to sleep much. At one point, she heard her stomach growl, begging for food. She got up and looked outside, seeing it was still dark out. The sky was completely still, pitch black, dotted with stars that glittered like jewels. Now that the trees were bare, Mary could see them with much more clarity. Silently, Mary took Mimi and checked the clock on her nightstand. It was 5:34 AM. Far earlier than she usually woke up. As much as she’d like to get back to sleep, her stomach rumbled once again, roaring for a meal to satiate itself. Silently, Mary took Mimi into her arms and walked downstairs.

Much to her relief, there were still some bananas by the sink. Mary set Mimi on the kitchen counter, took a banana, and ate it, chewing slowly to savor the taste. Voices from two rooms down caught her ear as she finished. People talking. It didn’t sound like her mother, as she heard a man’s voice, and it wasn’t her father either. Mary put the peel in the trash and tip-toed into the den. Dana lay on the couch, draped in a gray blanket, sleeping like a log. The den would have been completely dark, had the TV not illuminated it by showing the news.

“Police are still searching for missing Pennsylvanian teenager seventeen-year-old Nora McDonald. She was last seen leaving her family home in Braddock Hills just last Friday," A male newscaster explained before the scene shifted, showing a picture of a girl with long, wild purple hair with two pink streaks in it, red eyes, and wearing a red orange hoodie. “If anyone has seen or has any information on her whereabouts, please call the number below.”

Mary couldn’t fathom how her mother could sleep with the TV playing all night. She herself required absolute silence when trying to sleep. She turned to her right, noticing the computer was still on. That was odd. Dana never left the computer on when she went to sleep. Was she working on something and then fell asleep before she could close it out? There was a website on display, covering the screen from corner to corner.

“What’s this?” Mary whispered to herself, hoping her mother didn’t hear.

Something compelled Mary to look at the website. Part of her told her to stop, as it’s rude to go through people’s things, especially their webpages. But the temptation to see became stronger when she saw her mother’s name on the website.

Dana Summers.

Slowly and silently, Mary sat on the chair, seeing the title of the website at the top: A Mother’s Fight Against Autism.

Fight? Against autism? Mary raised both eyebrows. Autism wasn’t something someone could fight. That made no sense. Confused by the title, Mary looked at the first entry on the website.

Dated just last night.

My daughter threw a gigantic temper tantrum yesterday. Right in the middle of the Barnes and Noble we visit. She was flapping her hands, even though she’s been repeatedly told that she should never do that ever. I tried to convince her to use quiet hands, but she just went nuts. She started screaming and howling like an animal. I pinned her down and tried to subdue her, but my husband and older daughter wouldn’t let me get her under control. The whole thing was a huge mess all around. This isn’t even the first time she’s done this, yet every single time, her tantrums and extreme fussiness wear me down more and more. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

And I know for a fact it’s not only my husband’s fault, but Mary’s teacher’s fault as well. They’re enabling her fixations and behavior, even though the ABA sessions we put her through made it clear her weird habits need to be stamped out no matter what. I could see everyone staring at me while I tried to get her under control. Their wide eyes and mouths agape, probably thinking “What the hell is wrong with that kid? Why would those parents even take her out in public. It doesn’t look like they can even discipline her properly.” I hate how right they are. I do everything I can to discipline Mary, but she just refuses to learn. She ruins everything and I don’t give a damn anymore whether it’s her fault or not. We can’t go anywhere or do anything because of her, and I honestly wonder if she even likes causing me trouble the way she does!

How long will it be until she and her behavioral problems drain me completely dry?

No.

This couldn’t be true.

This had to be a big lie.

Was this how her mother saw the whole incident?

Was this how her mother really felt about her?

Why would she claim the whole thing was Mary’s fault, when the only reason she was screaming was because her mother touched her hands and refused to let go even though Mary said it hurt?

It dawned on Mary right then. This was her mother’s website that she created.

She scrolled down, her mouth wide open in horror. There were pages upon pages of entries, dating back several years, all talking about Mary in extensive detail. Hundreds of them. Many of them had words and concepts that Mary couldn’t quite grasp, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what all of them conveyed.

Mary’s mother absolutely hated her!

This shouldn’t be possible. Mothers were supposed to love their kids no matter what. Mary knew this, in theory...but Dana had never once put it into practice. Caitlin’s mother did. Leo’s mother did. Even Mr. Bryant cared about Mary, and he was a teacher.

She thought back to all the times her mother pinned her down. Yelled at her. Screamed at her face over things Mary didn’t understand. Taking her to all those doctors while never explaining why. Why her mother never came to help her when Mary asked for it. Even when the doctors’ invasive, intrusive hands were moving her, manipulating her, forcing her to do things she didn’t want. Not even shutting her eyes would will the memories to subside.

Curiosity and a desire to know the truth overrode any semblance of restraint. Mary looked through every entry, taking care not to type or click the mouse too loud, lest she wake her sleeping mother.

One entry stood out in particular, dated two years ago. May 18th. Two days after her seventh birthday. Against her better judgment, Mary read the blog post.

And saw something that she wished she never had to see. A single sentence that she didn’t dare play in her mind, confirming her absolute worst fears.

No. This couldn’t be true! Mary’s mind reeled as she scrambled out of the den, carrying Mimi with her. She ran back to the safety of her bedroom, unable to comprehend what she saw. She blinked several times, hoping this was just a dream. Hoping beyond all hope that it would make sense the hundredth time around.

It didn’t.

‘Mom hates me!! She really hates me!!’ Mary wanted to scream out loud, but everyone else was sleeping, and she couldn’t risk waking them up. But good lord, she wanted to break down crying so, so, so bad. ‘She’s been writing about me on that blog for years!! How did I not see this?! How did I not know about this?!’

Questions echoed in Mary’s mind, running a mile a minute, all without answers. All of the awful emotions Mary felt in that moment—the very ones her mother, and everyone else, implicitly said she wasn’t allowed to feel—rattled inside her lungs like shattering glass. Nothing made any sense. How long had her mother been writing about Mary on that blog? Since she was first diagnosed? Who else knew about it? Did her father and Reagan know about it? Did they?! They had to! Several entries mentioned them by name.

Did they...also hate her, too? Were they just pretending to love her?

Did they also hate that she was autistic? Did they want her to be normal like them?

Mary’s whole world went dark.

She couldn’t stay here. No. If she stayed here, who knows what would happen? Tomorrow, or even later today?

An impulsive thought entered her mind...and Mary wasted no time putting it into action.

Mary pulled out a flashlight from her drawer, figuring turning on her bedroom light would clue everyone in on what she was planning. No way was she going to let them find out. Mary changed out of her pajamas and changed into a white shirt, oversized pink dress, purple pants, and her favorite white shoes with flowers on them. She even took the time to braid her hair and secure it with her favorite pink bows. Once that was done, she stuffed her backpack with anything she felt she wanted to bring with her. Some favorite books, a notebook, some mechanical pencils, her blanket, some underwear, and some extra clothes. She packed her flashlight soon after. What she didn’t realize was that one of her shirts wrapped around a cellphone, and it was stuffed in her bag along with everything else.

More importantly, Mary cradled Mimi in her arms. No way was she going to leave without Mimi. Her best friend.

Before that, Mary opened a notebook and began writing something in there. When she finished, she ripped it out and stuck it under a pillow. Now fully prepared, Mary flung her overstuffed backpack on her back and very slowly walked out of her bedroom.

She needed to be absolutely quiet, though. If she were to wake anyone up, they’d stop her and never let her live it down. She rolled her eyes as she made her way to the front door. Knowing her mother, she never let Mary live anything down. She made it to the front door and opened it as quietly as she could, praying the knob wouldn’t squeak and that the door wouldn’t make the heavy creaking noise. To her relief, neither happened. As soon as she closed it behind her, Mary made a break for it.

The sky was still pitch black, and other than a few illuminated streetlights, the city was dark. All was silent except for Mary panting and sprinting. She ran down one street, turned on another, sprinted down one particularly steep street, ran up another, and another, and another. She knew the area, even as it was blanketed by the veil of night. The shape of the trees, the angles of the streets, the outlines of various houses and landmarks. She knew them all. Clutching Mimi like she was the only thing keeping her alive, Mary ran further, even as her lungs and legs burned.

Finally, the running and the backpack’s weight pressing down on her back forced her to stop at an empty park. She sat down underneath a round jungle gym. It was big enough that Mary could squeeze through one of the openings even with her backpack being as stuffed as it was. Now, Mary was completely and utterly alone. Alone with her thoughts, feelings, and with Mimi. Right now, there was no mother telling her to shut up. No weird doctors telling her what to do and saying she did everything wrong even when she did what she was supposed to. Nobody telling her she wasn’t normal and had to be like them.

Normal. She hated that word. It was all her mother thought about.

Mary stood up and kicked one of the bars in the jungle gym. “I hate Mom!!” She screamed.

Another kick. “I hate those weird ABA doctors!!”

Kick, kick, kick. “I hate ABA!!”

Mary didn’t care that her foot throbbed from the pain.

“I hate everything I do and say always being wrong no matter what!!”

Tears trickled out once more.

“I hate being punished for everything under the sun!! I hate being autistic!! I hate normal!! I hate Greg for always picking on me!! I hate Mom’s stupid blog!! I hate that everybody hates me for not being like them!! I hate that me being autistic is all that anybody ever cares about!!”

Mary pulled on one of the bars. Her scrawny arms would never be strong enough to pull them out, but the pulling sensation was somewhat satisfying.

“I hate everybody!! And worst of all, I HATE MYSELF!!”

With that rhetoric, Mary fell to her knees and cried into her hands once more. Was this how her life was going to be? Everyone in the world hating her and wishing she’d be normal because her brain wasn’t like theirs? Being yelled at over every little thing she did for the rest of her life? Knowing that not only her own mother didn’t love her—and probably the rest of her family too, based on what some of the blog posts implied—but was planning on doing something horrible to her? She didn’t care if a police officer came and told her she was making a disturbance. She didn’t want to go home. Not back there. Not where certain doom awaited her.

As she finally calmed down, a question popped into her mind: Where could she go? Mary conjured several potential solutions. Maybe she could move in with Caitlin or Leo. Caitlin’s parents were always nice, and their two dogs were super friendly. If they’d let her live with them, Mary wouldn’t even mind cleaning up the dogs’ poop. Anything was better than being back with her own mother.

Just as the thought passed her mind, a loud sound echoed throughout the park. The high pitched hissing of a train whistle. “Wha?” Mary looked up. A long, black steam engine came rolling through the park, its windows glowing a bright, eerie green. This couldn’t be right. There weren’t any train stations here, and how could a train run without tracks? Or through a grassy park?

Gradually, the train slowed down, and a door opened up, as if tempting her to come inside.

“Ooooh. Is this some kind of magical train?” Mary asked out loud, cradling Mimi in her arms as she crawled out from the jungle gym and approached the train. It looked like a much older train, not like the shiny modern ones that are rectangular and zip through cities faster than she could comprehend. Normally, Mary would be averse to going into a strange transportation vehicle. The lesson of not going into strange cars was drilled into her head from a young age. But then she remembered that even though she normally never left the house on her own, especially in the dead of night, she ran away from home anyway.

No matter how magical or otherworldly this train was, wherever it took her had to be better than staying with a mother who hated her.

Before she got on, she squeezed her eyes shut and stuck her tongue out at no one in particular. She imagined she did so to her mom. If Dana hated her so much, then fine. Mary was more than happy to get away from her. She figured her mother wouldn’t miss her anyway.

“Stupid Mom!” Mary cried out. “I’m gonna find a new mom that’ll love me for me, so goodbye forever!”

With one step on the train, a harsh wind blew past her, and she had no chance to even turn back, as everything turned a strange swirl of green and black before going completely dark. The train blinked out of existence.

Leaving absolutely no evidence that Mary Summers had even been at the park.

Chapter Text

The first thing Mary saw was green. Green everywhere.

“Ugh…” Mary groaned as she woke up, unsure of what happened. She rubbed her eyes with her hands. How long had she been asleep? She didn’t know. Last she checked, it was still morning when she ran away from home and saw...a train?

The memory shocked her awake. The train! She had walked onto a train. Mary instantly shot up and looked around, letting out a yelp at what she saw. The room she was in didn’t look like the inside of a train. Instead of seeing rows upon rows of seats with passengers, she saw...she didn’t know what she saw, other than one thing.

Everything in here was every shade of green possible.

The sky was green. There shouldn’t be a sky in a train, and the sky wasn’t supposed to be green. There was an abandoned beetle car sitting in a patch of grass, though it was in spotless condition. A vase sat right on the roof of the car, with three green flowers in it. How did it even get on there? She saw a plush chair, banana trees, a bookshelf filled with large books, grass as far as the eye can see, a cactus, balloons, a pile of shoes and boots, a praying mantis statue, a cluster of shamrocks, a hot air balloon that stayed in place and never moved, and a bunch of other items that seemed piled together without thought of making it look neat.

“What is this place?” Mary asked out loud, unable to comprehend what she saw. She had to admit though, it did look pretty cool.

She felt something cold and smooth against her legs. Looking down, she saw that she was sitting on the bottom half of what looked to be a silver oblong pod. When had she entered this? Mary had no idea. She remembered stepping into a train. Wasn’t she supposed to get a ticket and sit with some people? Mary felt her backpack straps against her shoulders, so at least that was still there. Mimi was lying on her stomach, floppy ears trailing over Mary’s shoulders. Mary lifted her hand up to push her braid out of her face.

...Only to find something on her hand that isn’t supposed to be there. A glowing green 120 on her palm.

Mary screamed. “What is this?!” She rubbed it with her other hand, hoping it’d come off. It didn’t. It was still there. “Why can’t I get it off?!”

No matter how hard she rubbed, the glowing number wouldn’t come off. She even used the hem of her dress to rub against her palm. That didn’t work either. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. What even was this?

“Welcome aboard, new passenger!”  A surprisingly chipper robotic voice answered back.

“Wha?!” Mary cried out, as the new voice scared her into almost jumping out of her skin. She looked up to find the upper half of the pod showing a monitor, like a small TV. On the monitor was a silvery white sphere the size of a volleyball, with short, stubby little legs—one of which was waving at her—and a black, vertical stripe going across its body. Two smaller white circles dotted the front of said stripe. Mary could only assume those were it’s eyes...whatever it was.

“I’m your conductor, One-One,” The sphere introduced itself, but the first One sounded happy, while the second one, with a different, more morose voice, sounded depressed.

“One-One?” Mary scooted closer to the video, wondering if this would give her some answers. But who called themselves One-One? That was a weird name if she ever heard one.

“Once you wipe those groggy little peepers,” One-One continued. “You’ll probably have a lot of questions like ‘Where am I?’ ‘Why am I here?’”

Accurate enough.

“Are there any snacks on board?”

Mary narrowed her eyes in confusion. That one...not so much. Who would ask if there were snacks on board? Then again...Mary held a finger to her chin. She had contemplated that just a little bit. She hadn’t eaten anything except for a banana, and she was sure she’d be hungry later on.

“For those of you attempting to talk to me like I’m here in real life, I’m not!”  One-One continued, still chipper, before switching into sad mode. "I’m a cold, steely, pre-recorded video.”

“This is what’s known as the Infinity Train, and it’s a train where you sort out your problems!” One-One explained, raising his front legs in the air.

“Problems?” Mary asked out loud. She wasn’t sure if she had problems. Actually...did her mother and her overzealous control freak tendencies count?

“See the number on your hand?”  One-One used one leg to point to the camera. “Pretty cool and green, huh?”

Mary looked down at the number again. A 120. That was a random number. When did it get there? How did it get there? She had no idea. Maybe it happened when she was...asleep? Was she even asleep? Mary could feel some dizziness coming on. But one thing she knew for sure: “No! Not cool!” She exclaimed. Having a random number on her hand wasn’t cool.

“Every passenger has one! The numbers are made by the train based on your life in order to help you have the most personalized experience we can offer! If you want to go home, you need to get your number down to zero, and poof! Away you go!”

“That still doesn’t explain how it’s even on me!” Mary protested. “What does personalized mean? And no, I don’t wanna go home! Ever! And how do I even get the number to go down?!” She shot back, even though she knew the video wouldn’t respond back, being pre-recorded and all.

All she got for a response was “Ugh, I’m a zero,”  From the sad One-One. But it did mention passengers. So Mary wasn’t the only one on here? There were other people who got on here, too?

So she wasn’t alone. Mary found herself smiling at the thought. Maybe other people who had troubles came here as well. She secretly hoped she’d find a couple of them. Would some of them be autistic, too? Just like her?

“But always remember there are lots of denizens along the way to help you on your journey. Don't be afraid to reach out!”  One-One mentioned.

The screen changed to show many different creatures. One was a large, watery blob with two dot eyes and a big smile holding a pipe in its arm. Another was a yellow and white, long tailed corgi with a fancy crown on its head. A third one was a small silver service bell, also with two dot eyes. The fourth image showed a grey, crystallized humanoid thing with a large hat and a bushy mustache. The fifth one showed a cute bunny plushie with cyan fabric who wore suspenders and a purple beanie.

The monitor quickly changed back to One-One. “Unless the denizen is one of those monsters with more teeth than body,”  He warned in his morose voice before changing back to being chipper. 

“Remember, you can't spell ‘escape’ without ‘companionship!’”  The happy One-One grinned before he looked up, lost in thought. “Uh, companion-shape? Companion-scape.”

“Uh, no,” Mary knew the words escape and companionship had absolutely no correlation to one another whatsoever. What even was this thing?

“Of course, the train is filled with all sorts of things that can help you learn about yourself and grow as a person.”

Grow as a person? How? “I’m not a plant,” Mary said. Or did One-One mean grow up into an adult? Or learn lessons?

“Personal growth can be exhausting,”  Sad-One piped in.

“That’s because each car on this train is like a pocket universe where anything can happen!”  Glad-One continued. “You can either find a fun car full of talking corgis, or a terribly dangerous car with acid slime!”

Mary made a mental note to avoid anything involving acid slime. “What does acid slime even look like?” She did like the idea of a train car full of talking dogs.

“Statistically you’re more likely to fall off the train and die alone,”  Sad-One added.

Well then. Mary stood up. She had no intention of falling off the train. How could she even fall off the train when the entire room was solid? And green.

“Okay, I’m done,” Mary walked out of the pod, leaving the informational video to prattle on, possibly forever. She was glad Mimi was still in her arms.

No way did Mary want to go home. Not now, not ever. Mary wanted to make sure she never went back home. Not when all that was waiting for her was Greg bullying her at school and her mother, who not only hated her, but practically shouted it on the entire internet and wanted to do...God knows what to her! Mary shook the blog posts out of her mind. Just thinking about them made her want to throw up. But here she was, on a magical train. This was going to be her safe place from now on. But she couldn’t stay in the pod, so what else could she do except look around and see where she was?

Mary had to admit, this place was oddly beautiful. Sure, there were lots of items scattered about, and the car looked like someone just piled a bunch of junk in here without thought of making it look organized. But the green was easy on her eyes and didn’t hurt. Did the whole train look like this? One-One mentioned there were other cars, and that they were all their own different worlds. Maybe this one car just happened to be all green.

“Hey, Mimi! Wanna explore?” Mary asked, holding her plush bunny to her face.

She used her hand to move Mimi’s head up and down, making her simulate nodding.

“Cool! Let’s go exploring!” Mary chirruped. “Maybe we can find something cool here!”

Although Mary preferred things to always be the same, there were some perks to the thrill of being in someplace new and finding new discoveries. Plus, since her mother wasn’t here, Mary was free to do whatever she wanted and not feel like she was being needlessly punished for every little thing. The grass was soft against her sneakers, and she didn’t notice any bugs or creepy crawlies lurking around as she walked. She did notice the hot air balloon was suspended in the sky, but didn’t seem to move at all.

“Aren’t hot air balloons supposed to...y’know, fly?” She asked.

Mimi said nothing.

“Maybe it’s stuck,” Mary walked up and tried to reach for it. Seeing as it was ten feet up, she couldn’t reach. She jumped five times, hoping to at least try to touch it. The attempt was futile, and she conceded defeat.

She trotted over to a set of banana trees. “Are these bananas safe to eat?” She wondered aloud, then remembered her father mentioning that when a banana is green, it’s probably not ready to be eaten yet. “Maybe not. Don’t wanna risk getting sick,” She concluded before heading on her way.

She then noticed she was in front of tall grass. Knowing there was no way else to go but forward, Mary pushed through the tall grass. It was easier to move through than she thought, but she didn’t like the blades of grass tickling her arms. She wished she had brought a long sleeved shirt with her.

“Uuuuugh!” Mary shivered as several tall blades of grass brushed against her skin. After a minute, she was out, and she kneeled down, held her hands against her exposed arms, and rocked to push that shivering feeling out. Thankfully, it worked this time around. “I hate it when tall grass tickles me. What do you think, Mimi?”

Mimi’s head slumped over Mary’s arm, with her ears simply hanging limp.

“Yeah, same here.”

There were other things about the car that made just as little sense as the suspended hot air balloon that didn’t move. At one point, Mary went over to a wall and saw that an umbrella was hanging upside down. From nothing.

“How is that thing upside down?” She asked. “There isn’t even a hook or anything.”

This place just got more and more confusing. But Mary noticed something else as well. “Does anyone even live here?”

Not once did she see anyone—person or denizen—in this entire car. She walked further and saw no one. Was she the only one here? Mary found herself smiling at the thought. She began skipping and flapping her free hand as she made her way through the car. There was nobody here! Nobody to yell at her, touch her, tell her what to do, tell her everything she did was wrong, nothing of the sort. Mary felt light as a feather, skipping happily through the room, lost in her bliss. It was just her and Mimi.

But something caught her eye, so she stopped in her tracks. A big bookshelf stood against the wall, but Mary noticed bags at the very bottom of it. Bags with dollar signs on them.

“Whoa! Is this real money?!” Mary scurried over to the bags and gently undid one of the ties to see if there really was money in them. She pulled the bag open, and inside were stacks upon stacks of dollar bills. All of them in the hundreds. “Whooooooa! Free money!” Mary couldn’t believe her eyes. She found random bags of money lying around. She was rich!

...Wait. Did these even belong to anyone? Mary looked around, seeing no one as usual. But just because there was money here, that didn’t mean she could just take it. For all she knew, all of this probably did belong to someone. Her bliss immediately faded, and she slowly closed the bag.

“No, I shouldn’t. It’s wrong to just take money that isn’t yours,” Mary reminded herself, leaning back to the side of caution. As tempting as taking the money was, Mary knew she couldn’t take it. Even if she wanted to, the bags would probably be too heavy for her to carry, and her backpack was already close to bursting. Another worry picked at her brain. What if other train cars had shops? How would Mary be able to pay for anything? Would she even be able to? How does one get money here?

She turned around to find a big pile of shoes behind her. Shoes of all kinds formed a small mountain. Boots, sneakers, high heels, flats, leather shoes, every shoe under the sun was in this big pile.

“Wow. Whoever made this pile really needs to clean them up,” Mary mused. If her mother found her with a big, messy pile of shoes like this, she’d tell Mary to spend the day cleaning it all up. Mary walked closer to see if she could maybe find the second halves of all these shoes. Cleaning had to start somewhere, right? But as she reached for one big boot that was close to falling off, something caught her eye.

Something that was...purple. Not green.

“Huh?” Mary leaned closer into the hole. Was she seeing things? Was there actually something here besides herself that wasn’t green for once?

The purple sphere turned around, showing a wrinkly forehead, dotted eyes, and a...grey mustache? A yellow bow tie? “Hello there!”

“Yeeeeek!!” Mary screamed and fell on her rear, unable to comprehend what she saw. There was someone here after all! Or...something. Whatever was inside that pile of shoes didn’t look human. Her heart hammered in her chest as she held Mimi close for protection, trying to make sense of what was inside that pile of shoes. “Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha…?!”

“Oh dear. I’m awful sorry for scarin’ you outta yer wits,” The purple sphere crawled out from the shoe pile, revealing himself to be a giant grape, with a wilted leaf on the stem, and brown vines for arms and legs.

“You...you...you’re grapes! And you talk?!” Mary yelped, still struggling to process what was standing in front of her. Gradually, her nerves eased as she remembered the video in the pod. That One-One thing did say the train had magical fantasy creatures on it. Plus, the talking grapes didn’t attack her, so...was he safe?

“Yep. I’m Ben! Ben Greene. Ben the grape person!” The talking grapes—Ben Greene—introduced himself with a friendly bow. His voice was kind and pleasant, and sounded like a slightly middle aged man. Mary thought he almost sounded like Mr. Bryant in a way.

The unstable rhythm of her heartbeats finally slowed as she saw that Ben wasn’t going to attack her. Maybe he was nice? He did apologize for scaring her, so that had to mean something. Mary took in a deep breath and stood back up. “I’m...Mary. Mary Summers.”

“Well now,” Ben the grape crossed his viny arms. “You must be a passenger. Nice to meet’cha!”

“So...is this your pile of shoes?”

“Yup! This here’s my home!”

Mary blinked. His home? By that, did he mean his house? “You mean...this is your house? You live there?”

“Yup.”

This made absolutely no sense at all. Shoes were supposed to be worn, not used as material to make...whatever constituted Ben’s idea of a house. “But...piles of shoes can’t be houses. Don’t you not have any room to move around? And aren’t you afraid one of the high heels might...I don’t know, cut your skin and make you bleed...grape...juice or something?” She knew for sure grapes didn’t bleed blood. But did Ben bleed the juices inside of regular grapes?

Ben turned around to his shoe pile—his house—and lifted one high heeled shoe out from it with one hand...vine. “Nah, I’m pretty tough to break, if you know what I mean. I don’t really move around much anyway, so it don’t bother me one bit. Besides, I can maneuver my arms and legs however I want, so getting around ain’t much of an issue.”

As little sense as his explanation made, Mary did at least appreciate that he actually answered all of her questions. She also noticed that he never sounded bored, annoyed, or irritated when she did so. Even asking her mother one question would result in a condescending retort or an annoyed comment. Sometimes, others would just laugh and brush her off like she was just being silly. Mary hated that. She already found herself liking Ben Greene.

“I take it you’re looking for the exit, right?” Ben inquired. “If you want, I’d be happy to take you there. It’s a bit of a trek, though.”

Mary shook her head. “I don’t mind at all! I’d love to walk with you!”

Ben flashed a smile as the two of them found themselves walking together. “So...should I call you Mr. Greene or Ben? I don’t wanna be rude, since you...sound and act like an adult. Mom and Dad say it’s rude for kids to call adults by their first names unless they say so.”

“You can just call me Ben.”

“Ok! So...Ben, are you the only one living here? In this green car, I mean?”

“Pretty much.”

Mary almost stopped in her tracks, but reminded herself to keep going. Ben was really the only denizen here? He lived here all alone? That had to be really lonely. As much as Mary liked her solitude and quiet time, she couldn’t imagine living all alone in the same place every single day.

“Don’t you get...I don’t know...lonely?”

“Not really,” Ben answered, cordial as always. “You’d be surprised at how many denizens and passengers stop by every now and again. Some just come by to sleep on the couch or beds that are scattered about,” He waved his vine, showing Mary some regular beds and single mattresses that happened to be close by. “Many of them stop to talk to me, which happens more often than you’d think, so I don’t get too lonely. But I admit I don’t like to talk to people for too long, as it can get kinda exhausting after a while.”

Mary knew that feeling all too well. Even talking to a stranger she didn’t know, or wasn’t comfortable with, always seemed to suck the energy right out of her. Most of them hardly ever bothered to talk to Mary for very long anyway, which she didn’t mind. But she remembered the times her mother insisted that she talk to new people all the time, and didn’t let her leave, even when Mary had to go to the bathroom or wanted to do something else. Her mother said it was to help improve her social skills, and that she needed to learn to talk to people. But what good was there in making Mary talk to people she didn’t know unless she wanted to get to know them? Even when Mary told her mother no, Dana wouldn’t take the hint and would force her to talk to people, especially when Mary made it clear she, and even the other party, wasn’t interested in keeping the conversation going.

If she didn’t want to talk to people anymore, why force her to do so? It always felt so draining. Yeah, that was the word. Draining.

“I agree,” Mary replied. “I don’t like it when people want to keep talking to me even after I tell them that I’m not interested. But my mom always says it’s rude to say so.”

“That’s gotta stink. As long as you’re polite about it, it’s okay to let someone know you don’t want to keep conversin’,” Ben assured.

“Really?”

“Sure. There’s lotsa ways you can do so.”

Before long, the two of them found themselves immersed in conversation. Mary found herself liking Ben more and more. He always answered her questions with a smile, and in detail, without looking angry or annoyed. Even when he didn’t have a straight answer, he was honest about it and answered her questions as much as he could, even with limited knowledge on certain subjects.

“Do you know how many cars there are on the magic train?” Mary asked.

“An infinite amount. One-One is in charge of the train. Y’know, the little white ball?” Ben replied. “He told me once that there’s as many cars on this here train as there are grains in sand. But I never saw no sand before, so I don’t know—”

“Oh! I have!” Mary exclaimed, beaming. “There’s lots and lots and lots of grains of sand! Billions of them! I’ve been to the beach lots of times before, and it’s really big, and there’s so much sand, you can’t ever count every single grain! Oh!” It was here that she realized she had interrupted Ben’s answer. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to...interrupt. I wasn’t trying to be rude.” Just like that, her shoulders deflated in shame. She could already picture her mother scolding her for interrupting him, even though she wasn’t doing it on purpose. Not that her mother would care about that.

Oddly enough, Ben kept his cordial smile. “It’s alright. I think I get it now. Thanks for helpin’ me understand the concept of sand!”

Ben really didn’t know what sand was? Mary’s eyes shrunk. She had no idea there were people—or magical creatures—who had never seen beaches or sand before. Then again, Ben did live in a car where everything was green and there were items and junk scattered about with no thought put to making it look somewhat neat. But it didn’t smell bad, and Ben himself was a nice guy. He couldn’t help how his car was. One whole car must be tough for one person to take care of on their own. Mary wondered if he could use some help.

However, something else lurched in Mary’s little heart. Even though she interrupted Ben’s conversation, Ben didn’t get angry at all. In fact, he was genuinely happy with Mary’s explanation and thanked her for it. Not once did he claim she was being nosy, talking too much, that she ought to be more considerate of others even though she was trying to help, that she shouldn’t be so rude. He didn’t know what sand was, Mary helped him understand, and he just...accepted it. Being praised and thanked for her help wasn’t exactly a foreign concept to Mary, but most people she knew weren’t exactly receptive of her attempts to help them out or be nice. So having a magic talking grape actually be happy with her help was...surreal.

Freeing.

“You’re welcome,” Mary said, cheeks flushing from the unexpected praise.

“By the way, are you hungry by any chance? I think I got some green grapes around here…” Ben found a refrigerator and began rummaging through it. “Hmm...I coulda sworn they were here somewhere...Ah!” Having found what he was looking for, he pulled out a batch of actually green grapes. Unlike Ben, these grapes were actual food, and didn’t talk. He walked over to Mary and held them out. “Would you like some? You don’t gotta take a whole lot if you don’t want to.”

Mary held a hand to her stomach. She hadn’t eaten anything except for that banana earlier, and for all she knew, it was probably still early in the morning. She liked grapes okay, but they weren’t exactly her favorite food either. The textures could vary wildly depending on the ones her parents bought at the grocery store. Sometimes they’d be firm, which Mary liked, and sometimes they’d feel weirdly soft, soggy, and limp, which made eating them feel like she had worms in her throat. Mary didn’t touch them once they started getting wrinkly. Looking at the grapes Ben had, they looked perfectly pristine, without a single blot or mark on them whatsoever.

“I’ll just take six. Is that okay?” Mary asked, taking exactly six grapes from the batch. Ben smiled and nodded, watching as Mary threw one in her mouth. It was firm, just the way she liked it. Not limp, overly soft, or soggy. The juices were sweet against her tongue, and she didn’t taste any lingering seeds either. “Wow, these are good!” Mary proclaimed, eating the rest of the grapes one by one as the two of them resumed their walk.

“I’m so glad you like them,” Ben told her. “Sometimes passengers or denizens bring food and leave it here, or seeds that I can plant to grow my own food. See that garden plot over there?” Ben pointed towards a plot of dirt about the size of two refrigerators put together. The dirt was green, obviously, and clusters of vines covered it from corner to corner. “That’s where I grow my food.”

“That sounds nice,” Mary mused. She wondered if there would be a time in her life where she could plant seeds and grow vegetables, like broccoli or brussel sprouts. Lots of people, mainly farmers, do it all the time. Her big sister was a huge fan of a video game series about farming, and even let Mary play her farming games whenever she said it was okay to do so. Granted, real farming was very different from pretend farming. But if Mary were to be a farmer, she could make her own rules and grow whatever she wanted.

“Oh!” It was here that Mary remembered she had forgotten to do something important. “I forgot to say thank you! Thank you for the grapes!”

Ben smiled once again. “It’s alright. I can tell just from the look on your face that you’re mighty grateful, so it’s no skin off my hide.”

Mary actually stopped walking. Ben wasn’t making an issue out of her forgetting to say thank you? Mary couldn’t believe her ears. Normally, her mother would jump on her if she thought Mary forgot, even when Mary was taking a minute to let the words come into her head so she could say them the right way. She did so right when Mary was about to thank that red-haired girl for letting her have the last available copy of the pet vet manga. In that moment, one of her mother’s blog entries came rushing back to her mind.

It’s a struggle to get Mary to remember her manners. She’s always so eager to do what she wants and is always so excited whenever she receives a gift or someone does something nice for her. I should be happy about this, but knowing what she is, I can’t help but be vigilant. She gets so lost in her wild, primal emotions that she always forgets to thank the person going out of their way to be nice to her. I have to constantly remind her to say thank you whenever this happens. It’d be one thing if this happened on occasion, but it happens all the time. When is Mary ever going to say thank you on her own? Half the time I’m wondering if she’s genuinely that forgetful or ditzy, or if she’s just flat-out ungrateful. She certainly never acts grateful whenever I try to do anything for her.

Mary pursed her lips, remembering how scandalized she felt upon reading that particular entry. How was Mary ungrateful? It was true that when someone did something nice for Mary, she’d be so happy and excited that she would bounce around the room and shout it to the world. That was just to get it all out of her system. She always made sure to thank people afterward, so it wasn’t like she was intentionally putting it off or trying to be ungrateful. She had seen people act ungrateful before, like rejecting gifts because they weren’t the right color or model. 

Another memory hatched into her mind right then. One time last year, Mary and her dad went shopping to buy a birthday gift for her mother. Mary knew her mother really liked hummingbirds, so she picked out a glass hummingbird figure in a fancy store in the mall so her dad could buy it and say it was from her. When her mother saw the figure and Mary told her she picked it out, her mother...just stared at it for a bit, then set it aside and didn’t look at it again. She said thanks, but the eight-year-old Mary knew she didn’t actually mean it. Her voice was low, her eyes were narrowed into slits, and when she said thanks, it had absolutely no enthusiasm in it whatsoever. She didn’t even smile at Mary or give her a hug. Mary had seen Caitlin and Leo get gifts for their parents, and that was how they reacted, by hugging them and telling them thanks with big smiles and cheerful voices.

Mary clutched onto Mimi tightly, tasting bile in her mouth. Dana had the nerve to claim Mary was ungrateful, when it was she who was exactly that more often than not. The hypocrisy of it all hurt like a punch in the stomach.

“Mary?” Ben’s voice pulled her out of her reverie. “Is everything okay? I notice you stopped.”

“Oh!” Mary shook her head, pushing the bad memory out of her brain. “Sorry. I was thinking about something.”

Ben took no issue with that, and the two of them resumed their walk. The two of them went back to their friendly conversing, and it was here that Mary realized...Ben Greene reminded her a lot of Mr. Bryant. Mary asked him question after question, and he always answered them with a smile on his face. Not once did he ever look or act annoyed or irritated with her, and he never told her to be quiet or anything. He never questioned why she did things or make a big issue about them, nor did he make her feel ashamed of her occasional slip-ups. She wondered if the train put her in the Green Car first on purpose. Ben had no reason or obligation to be nice to her in any way. As far as Mary knew, she was an intruder who was unceremoniously dumped into his world. He had every reason to believe she was somehow barging into his abode, yet he was going out of his way to be as nice to her as possible.

It wasn’t as though Mary had never experienced kindnesses like these before. Of course she did. Mary knew that much. But having been subject to her mother’s constant and ceaseless barrage of criticism every single day, she’d take anyone being genuinely nice than all the riches in the world.

“So you say you wanna write your own stories when you grow up, huh?” Ben inquired, curious to know more.”

“Mmm-hmmm!” Mary nodded vigorously. “I really like reading storybooks. My big sister sometimes lets me read her books or comic books. Only the ones for kids, though. Not for teenagers or grown-ups yet. I’m too young for those,” She replied, her joy bubbling over like soda fizz. “I’d love to write my own stories someday, though!”

“Got any favorites?”

“Yeah! There’s this one called A Little Princess , and it’s about a girl whose dad has to go away to India, and she’s sent to a fancy boarding school for rich girls in England,” Mary explained, her voice rising with delight, practically bouncing on her feet as she walked. Someone was actually interested in hearing her talk about her favorite books? Mary couldn’t contain herself, and words came spilling out of her like a waterfall. “But years later her dad dies and all of Sara’s money is gone because he lost it, and the school principal gets mad and makes her into a slave who does stuff like clean the floors, cook food, and put coal in fireplaces. The principal is always mean to her and yells at her if she does anything that’s not her chores, and she’s not given food or nice clothes or a warm bed or baths or anything."

Ben’s wrinkles furrowed upon listening to Mary’s description of the story. “Hmm. That sounds like a real sad story,” Ben said.

“At first it is, but it gets a happy ending! Want me to tell you?” Mary suggested. Ben nodded, and Mary continued on, happy to oblige. “It turns out Sara’s dead dad had a friend who left India to try and find Sara but he didn’t know where to look and didn’t have any clues that told him where she could be. The friend managed to restore Sara’s riches and when he found her, she was taken out of the bad school and got to be a rich girl again! Richer than a princess, even!”

Upon hearing this, Ben smiled once more, looking up at the green sky as he became lost in thought. “Now that you mention it, I think I do have that book on one of my shelves. Can’t remember which one, though…”

“It’s funny. I don’t really get to talk about stuff I like with other people all that often,” Mary found herself saying out loud. “Most kids at school don’t know about the books I read, and they stay away from me when I tell them about them, thinking I’m weird. Mom’s no help, because she says I need to learn to be more interested in other people and not talk about myself and the stuff I like so much. But I never know what to say to other people. Why would I want to be with or talk to people who are just gonna make fun of me or the stuff I like? What’s wrong with being with people who like the same stuff I do and...like me just fine?”

She thought of all the times her mother would drag her to random places without telling her beforehand, just saying “You’re coming shopping with me,” “You’re going to this party with me,” “You’re going to talk to these people, make friends with them, make eye contact with them, and not bore them by talking about books and drawing,” “You’re not bringing your earplugs, book, or stress ball to this family trip we’re going on.” No matter how much Mary said no or wanted to make things easier on herself by bringing earplugs, stress ball, Mimi, favorite books, or anything of the like to make her feel safe in a new situation, her mother always told her she couldn’t. Normal kids didn’t bring stuff like that with them to outings, Dana had said.

Ben crossed his vines and stopped to think for a bit. “I admit, I can somewhat understand where she’s coming from. In life, you’re gonna end up meeting people you’re gonna have to deal with at some point, and I can understand wanting to teach you the tools to do so,” Ben said. “On the other hand, I don’t see the harm in wanting to make things a little easier on yourself in doing so. I do agree that it’d be better if your mother gave you a choice in the matter, or at least told you about it earlier, or offered to let you take a break if you’re tired of it.”

Mary gasped. That was it! She had rarely, if ever, been given a choice in anything! Her father and Reagan always made sure she had a choice in things, and even if the choice of not going wasn’t possible, she still had a say in wanting to make things easier on herself. For her mother, it was always do this, do that, go here, go there, don’t do this, keep quiet, don’t act up even if you’re sad, scared, or anxious, look at me, say something nice, don’t run to another room, so on and so forth. She had only been with Ben for...she wasn’t sure how long. A few hours? There weren’t any clocks so she couldn’t tell what time it was. She could tell from the way her legs started to hurt that she had been walking with him for a long time. But in that time, Ben acted like more of a parent, or a friend, to her in that short time than Dana, her own mother, had ever been in her whole life.

In that moment, she felt like she was...being listened to.

On impulse, she found herself hugging Ben, wrapping her arms around his grape body, taking care not to squeeze him too hard lest she make him bleed...grape juice or something. His eyes widened at the sudden gesture, but he was quick to hug her back, wrapping his vines around her without question. The two of them stayed like that for a few minutes, and Mary could smell the fresh water scent in the crevices of his body. Mary had to admit, Ben smelled nice.

Who knew that a talking patch of grapes would make a great friend?

Mary slowly released Ben from her grasp and looked up at him. She had to admit, it was easy to look at his eyes, because they were dots, and they never changed. “Thanks for listening to me, Ben. It’s rare that I talk to someone about my...problems and they don’t get annoyed.”

“That’s an awful shame,” Ben agreed. “Well, I’m glad I was able to help you in some way, even if it’s not much. Oh!” Something caught his eye and he ran towards it. “This here’s the exit!”

“Really?” After so much walking, the two of them finally arrived at a red door with a circular top, with the handles consisting of two yellow semi-circles separated from one another. Mary turned the handle with one hand, and when she opened the door, wind blasted at her face, whipping her braids in all directions. She was quick to keep Mimi close so the wind wouldn’t blow her away, but when she opened her eyes, her mouth fell open at what she saw.

A bridge connecting the current car to one in front laid out before her. “I really am on a magic train!” Mary exclaimed, walking out from the Green Car to get a better look around, with Ben following suit. The train cars themselves were huge, so tall that Mary could jump as high as she could and still not be able to reach the top. She looked up and saw a swirl of orange and red clouds hanging overhead. Mary took her eyes off the sky and scanned the surrounding area. There was nothing here but a red orange, desert-like landscape and a few dead trees. There weren’t any houses anywhere.

“What is this place?” Mary asked, feeling a shiver run up her spine. It looked like they were in the middle of nowhere.

“This is what they call the Wasteland,” Ben explained. “It’s awful dangerous out there. I wouldn’t recommend leaving the train to go out there at all,” He pointed into the distance. “See those creatures?”

“What creatures?” Mary held a hand over her eyes to block out the sun and find what he was talking about. In the distance, she could see three black specs flying around. They looked like large bugs, but she couldn’t make out their features except for translucent wings and mouths with wiggling appendages that looked like worms. “Those roach thingies?”

“Yes. They’re called Ghoms,” Ben continued, putting a protective vine hand on Mary’s shoulder. “They pray on passengers and suck the life out of them. They make you shrivel up and turn into dust.”

Shrivel up? Turn into dust? Mary dreaded the thought. She flapped one of her hands to push the idea out of her head. She didn’t dare imagine dying at the hands of...one of those ugly things.

“If you see one, don’t try to fight them. It’s a losing battle, so you’d best run for your life,” Ben advised.

Mary nodded. She didn’t want to go anywhere near those things anyway. Thankfully, the entrance to the next car, with the very same door design, was just a bridge away, not very far on foot.

“Thanks for helping me, Ben. It really means a lot to me,” Mary told him.

Ben’s cordial smile returned. “You’re welcome, dearie.”

“Oh!” An idea popped into her head, and she found herself verbalizing it before she could think on it. “Maybe you can come with me! We can have magical adventures together like they do in the books I like to read!”

Just as quickly, Ben’s mouth turned inward into a frown. “I’d sure love to, Mary, but I don’t think I can do that.”

“Awww. Why not?” Mary groaned, unable to hide her disappointment.

“Well, I’ve been hearin’ gossip about this group of ruffians who destroy cars and hurt denizens willy-nilly, y’see, even killin’ em,” Ben explained. “Since I’m the only one who lives in the Green Car, I gotta hold down the fort and make sure nobody vandalizes it. If I’m not here to protect my home, the ruffians could mess it all up and I won’t be there to at least stop them. For all I know, I might never see them, since the train goes on forever, but until I know for sure they’re gone, I can’t afford to take any chances.”

Mary deflated at the thought. She really grew to like Ben and wanted to go on adventures with him. But as much as she hated that he didn’t want to come with her, she understood why he couldn’t afford to leave his car right now. His home, as strange as it was, is important to him. What right did she have to force him to come with her? Her father told her that if she asked someone to do something and they said no, that she respect their no and move on to something or someone else. It was rude to pester them until they said yes, because that meant she wasn’t respecting their boundaries. It would be like if her mother kept pestering her to stop reading her favorite book even after she said no, annoying her and bothering her until she said yes. Plus, he had no one to help protect the fort, and she was sure she wouldn’t be able to protect his home from whatever enemies were out there. What if they were monsters? And what if they had guns? What could she possibly do about it?

“I can’t exactly ask you to stay with me, as staying in one car forever isn’t what passengers should be doing,” Ben elaborated. “Plus, I think it’d be pretty boring to stay in the same place forever. Sorry, Mary.”

“It’s okay!” Mary replied. “I’m not mad. If it were me, I’d want to protect my home, too.”

“On the other hand…” Ben held a vine to his chin, lost in thought once more. “It’d be awful dangerous for a kid like you to go off and not have anything to defend yourself...Oh! I have just the thing!” He announced before running back into the Green Car. Mary walked back in as well, but not too far in. She saw Ben rummaging through a green wooden box, looking for something. After a bit, he found it and showed it to Mary.

“Here. You can have this,” In Ben’s vine hand was a shiny purple item, shaped like a grape.

“What’s this?” Mary asked, taking it gingerly into her hands. “Is it a toy?”

“Nope!” Ben answered, shaking his head. “That there’s pepper spray!”

“Huh?” Mary looked up, eyes wide from surprise. “Pepper spray? Like the stuff people use to spray in people’s eyes if someone’s attacking them?”

“Yep. See this button here? The stem?” Ben kneeled down to point out the stem-like structure on the canister. “Press it, and it sprays out the pepper spray. Be careful not to spray yourself, though. It hurts somethin’ awful.”

Wanting to see for herself, Mary gently pressed it, pointing it towards the air. A tiny bit of pepper spray came out, and Mary released the button, not wanting to waste it. She found herself smiling. She had something she could use to defend herself! It wasn’t an actual weapon, like a sword or nunchucks, but it was serviceable enough, and Mary didn’t like fighting to begin with. The two of them walked back outside, watching the eternal wasteland pass them by. The guard rails on the bridge were metal bars, and seemed safe enough, but Mary knew she had to be careful. She wondered if this was what One-One meant by the possibility of falling off the train.

She put the pepper spray in her pants pocket before looking at Ben. “Thanks so much for helping me. I’m sad we can’t travel together, but I’m glad we got to be friends.”

“Same here, Mary. Now you take care of yourself out there, and if you ever want to come visit, don’t be afraid to stop by!”

A part of her wished Ben could come with her. She thought he’d appreciate the company. But if he didn’t want to, she knew she couldn’t force him. Still, he was kind to her, and knowing that he liked her made her feel a little giddy inside, like a baby bird’s wings were fluttering in her heart. Because of this, she didn’t feel afraid when she waved goodbye and crossed the bridge to the next car, with Mimi by her side. But she did wonder if the number on her hand changed. She looked at her left palm...to find that it wasn’t a 120 anymore. It had gone down by four digits, now at 116.

“How’d this happen?” She asked.

She had no idea how her number managed to go down. But she knew one thing for sure: Maybe this train and all of its passengers and denizens could be her new home. She decided she was going to live here. Far away from Dana. Where she didn’t have to go to school, wouldn’t get yelled at for flapping her hands or talking about books, forced to go to weird doctors and ABA, or be told she would never be normal. Here, she could be...free. As long as her number never reached zero, she could stay here forever!

Without hesitation or shame, Mary made it to the next car, used one hand to turn the handle, and walked right inside, wondering what new adventure would await her.

Reagan Summers sighed as she got herself dressed for the day, choosing a long sleeved olive green shirt, grey miniskirt, and blue vest. The memory of last night’s awful incident flashed through her mind. Not even going on her computer and checking her email helped alleviate the anger that continued to simmer. She knew her mother had gone too far. Then again, her mother freaking out if Mary did so much as anything at all wasn’t exactly a common sight. But she was growing tired of it. Not for her own sake, but for Mary’s. Mary didn’t deserve to be treated like a continual troublemaker on a regular basis.

She really didn’t want to be here right now. Good thing today was Saturday, and she had no intention of sticking around the house for much of today. She pulled out her phone and texted someone she knew would be happy to have her.

Hey Oliver. Mind if Mary and I come over and hang out at your place? Reagan sent the text out and read a couple pages of the new manga she bought. Her phone pinged a couple minutes later, indicating a response.

Sure thing! Come on over! Mom and Dad say yes, too!

Reagan smiled. “Good ol’ Oliver. Where’ve you been all my life?” She asked no one in particular. Her phone pinged again, showing another text.

Everything ok?

Reagan was quick to type out a response. No. I’ll tell you more when I get there. How’s 10 AM sound?

Cool with me!

Oliver was Reagan’s boyfriend. The two met last year when she first started at the local high school. They became friends and found they had a lot in common. Several months later, they found themselves in a relationship. As far as Reagan was concerned, Oliver was the best boyfriend she ever had. Her first one, sure, but he had come through for her on so many occasions. She couldn’t wait to spend time with him. But it was still early yet, and she needed some breakfast. Reagan got her stuff together—mainly her phone, some video games, and books, and set it down on her bed, along with her oboe case.

Hearing her stomach grumble, Reagan walked downstairs and into the kitchen, pulling the toaster out of the cabinet next to the sink to make some French toast. She could smell the coffee in the maker machine nearby, and stole a glance in the dining room. There was Dana, looking over another pile of bills and drinking coffee. Reagan could only scowl. She was just sitting there, looking so calm and serene, like she hadn’t hurt Mary by cutting her wrists with her fingernails, pinning her down, and screaming at her in a public place. And for what? Reagan found her mother’s nonchalance to be utterly offensive. She scowled as put the bread slices in the toaster and pulled out two jars, one with syrup in it, the other with cinnamon.

“Morning, Reg,” Her father walked in soon after.

“Hi Dad,” Reagan replied, flashing a smile at him. “Coffee’s ready.”

Todd took a minute to pour some coffee into a plain red mug. Reagan’s toast popped out of the toaster, and she drizzled the bread slices with butter, syrup, and cinnamon, just the way she liked it. The two of them eyed Dana in the dining room simultaneously. Obviously, she was going to try and broach the subject of last night’s incident. As much as she didn’t want to, Reagan knew that once her mother had her mind on something, she wouldn’t let it go until she got it done and over with the way she wanted it. The two of them sat down at the table, eating their breakfast.

“I’m gonna go to Oliver’s place in a few hours. He and I need to do some more oboe practice,” Reagan said, more to her father than her mother. She used a knife to cut her toast into manageable slices and popped one in her mouth.

“That’s good. Do you plan on bringing Mary with you?” Todd asked.

“I’m gonna ask her right after I finish this,” Reagan answered.

Dana set her coffee cup down. “Mary’s not going anywhere. She’s grounded.”

Grounded? Todd and Reagan exchanged confused glances before the latter narrowed her eyes at her mother. “Since when, and for what?” Reagan fired back. Dana never said anything about Mary being grounded, nor did she tell anyone. Or maybe she just decided it on her own and didn’t think to tell Mary about it. That seemed the most plausible, as Dana rarely ever told Mary anything. It was as if she always wanted Mary to be the last one to know about anything, especially important things that involved her.

“You know exactly why,” Dana reminded them in a cold, tired voice. “Mary can’t be allowed to throw tantrums like that in a public place. She’s nine years old, for God’s sake! Of course, neither of you bothered to help me when I was trying to get her under control!”

Reagan balled her hands into fists. “That’s a pretty funny way of saying ‘I pinned my daughter to the floor and screamed in her face and cut her wrists with my fingernails over absolutely nothing and then ignored her obvious distress,’ ” Reagan retorted, having zero sympathy. “She wasn’t even doing anything. You were the only one making a scene.”

“Reagan…” Todd attempted to ameliorate the situation, knowing this was going to get ugly fast. But Dana spoke before he could say anymore.

“Reagan! We’ve been over this!” Dana exclaimed. “Your sister needs to learn how to behave herself in public! She needs to understand that her actions have consequences!”

“She wasn’t even doing anything, though!” Reagan shot back.

“She didn’t use quiet hands!”

“So what?! She’s not hurting anyone by flapping her hands to calm herself down. I don’t know why you always act like everything she does is a big friggin’ issue!” Reagan bellowed, slamming her hand on the table. Her glasses almost fell off, but she was quick to push them back up the bridge of her nose. “Do you even realize that you could have crushed her while she was on the floor? Or that you left cuts on her wrists?! She was bleeding when I found her outside the store!”

“Reagan does raise a valid point, Dana,” Todd used this opportunity to jump in, keeping a more composed demeanor as opposed to his older daughter. “Mary only had that meltdown because you interrupted her stimming and tried to force her to stop. Her teacher has said that we shouldn’t try to suppress her autistic stims. They actually help her regulate her emotions when she needs to navigate new situations. Do you really think punishing her for wanting to be herself is going to accomplish anything?”

Dana ate her sausages throughout Todd’s explanation, only speaking once he finished. “You need to think about Mary’s behavior issues in the long term. She’s going to start fifth grade next year,” Dana insisted, her voice straining further. “The longer this goes on, the more likely her future will be in jeopardy. Nobody will give her the time of day if she keeps indulging in her autistic habits and fixations.”

Reagan scoffed, making no attempt to hide her disdain. “Sounds to me like you just want to turn her into your personal puppet and mold her into your idea of a perfect kid.”

A sausage fell off of Dana’s fork as she stared at Reagan, mouth agape, completely scandalized. “Reagan Marlene Summers!”

“Dana—”

Something caught Reagan’s eye. A colorful pamphlet showing smiling kids on the cover. Instinctively figuring out what it was alluding to, Reagan snatched it and looked it over. It went into detail about something called chelation therapy and about how it supposedly cured several autistic kids.

“The hell?!” Reagan yelped, her anger no longer contained. “You weren’t planning on signing Mary up for this are you?”

“For what? Let me see,” Todd took the pamphlet and looked it over, his eyes widening in horror at what he saw described. “Dana! You can’t be serious!”

“I am,” Dana replied. “Everything else hasn’t worked so far, and with Mary about to start fifth grade, we need to really be vigilant.”

“Do you hear yourself right now?!” It was Todd’s turn to yell this time. “We’re already a thousand dollars in debt as it is with you going after one quack doctor after another!”

“I can’t listen to more of this!” Reagan snapped, standing up from her chair and stomping up the stairs, not in the mood to even finish her breakfast. “You really give new meaning to the words Karen and drama queen, Mom!!”

The nerve of her! Reagan wanted to punch the wall as she made it to the top of the stairs. Was she really that convinced that curing Mary of being autistic was the best way to go? No way was Reagan going to let Mary be subjected to yet another quack doctor and more potentially traumatizing “therapy.” She had seen what ABA had done to her. What sensory exposure had done to her. Even as a kid, she could tell when Mary was in distress, as she was often not very subtle about showing it, and just how...wrong all of those so-called therapies seemed. Reagan couldn’t fathom why her mother was so laser-focused on molding Mary into something she wasn’t. She wished she didn’t make Mary being autistic into the biggest issue ever. Reagan knew for a long time that it had never been an issue, and it never would be.

Reagan arrived at Mary’s bedroom door and knocked. “Mary? You in there?” She asked. No response. It wasn't like her to sleep this late. She usually woke up at seven in the morning, or half an hour before, and it was 8:24 AM right now. As much as she didn’t want to enter her sister’s room without permission, she assumed she was still sleeping and went inside as quietly as she could.

“Mary? It’s almost eight thirty. Time to wake up,” Reagan said.

She saw that one piece of Mary’s comforter had been pulled back, not folded all the way. Mary’s favorite purple pajamas laid about the bed, unfolded, and with the pants almost falling right off the foot of the bed. Oddly enough, Mary herself wasn’t here. Reagan looked around, seeing no sign of her. “Mary? Hello!” Reagan called out. Again, no response. Where was she? 

“Are you hiding?” Reagan asked, crossing her arms. “Well, I don’t mind a game of hide-and-seek,” She opened the closet door, finding clothes and a hamper, but no Mary. When she turned around, she noticed one of the drawers in Mary’s dresser was open. Something compelled her to look inside. Several of Mary’s shirts were missing.

“That’s weird…” Reagan knew Mary had to be around here somewhere. As she glanced at Mary’s bed again, she noticed something else was missing. “Where’s Mimi?” Mary never went anywhere without Mimi except school. Other things were gone as well. Her backpack, her shoes...Reagan’s blood ran cold.

She couldn’t be missing, could she?

Something white appeared in her peripheral vision. Reagan looked at one of Mary’s pillows. Something was sticking out from the corner. A white piece of notebook paper. As much as it pained Reagan to do so, knowing that she might be invading Mary’s privacy, she took the folded paper out from the pillow, opened it, and read the contents.

Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw.

“Reagan?” Todd walked upstairs, poking his head in Mary’s room. “You wake Mary up yet?” He strided inside, stopping in his tracks when he saw the deer in the headlights look on Reagan’s face. She looked absolutely ghost white.

“Dad…!” Reagan choked out, immediately tearing up. Todd saw the paper in her hands and read the contents.

I’m leaving forever. Don’t bother looking for me. Nobody loves me. My life is a big fat lie. All everybody wants is for me to be normal. I’m done with this. I’m gonna find a new family that’ll actually love me.

Bye-bye forever.

The writing was rather crude, probably as a result of either being written in a hurry or in the dark. But it was legible enough for father and daughter to understand what was written. Neither of them spoke for a solid minute, in complete disbelief as to just what they had in their hands.

“This can’t be true, can it?!” Reagan yelled without meaning to. But the meaning of the words written on the hastily folded paper was not lost on father and daughter. If she wasn’t in her room, and planned to run away, then...

Todd sprinted from Mary’s room and immediately began searching all over the house, with Reagan following suit.

“Mary?! Mary!” The two of them looked everywhere they could think of. The living room, the den, the kitchen, the basement, even the room way in the back of the basement. Every nook and cranny big enough for a nine-year-old girl to fit in. There was no sign of Mary at all.

“Todd? Reagan? What’s going on?” Dana asked as she saw the two of them zipping around the house.

“Mary’s gone!” Reagan cried out. “She’s not in her room, she’s not anywhere!”

For once, Dana fell silent as she took in Reagan’s words, only managing to blink twice, hoping the statement would make sense the third time around. It didn’t.

Todd had already explored every inch of the house and found no trace of her. His heart hammered in his chest a mile a minute as he tried to find any semblance of his youngest. He opened the front door and ran outside, in the middle of the street, screaming Mary’s name at the top of his lungs.

“Mary!! Maryyyy!!” He howled mournfully, praying to God that she’d be here somewhere. She just had to be! He saw a neighbor watering her plants and ran up to her in a panic. “Lilac! You didn’t see Mary around, did you?”

“No, I haven’t,” Lilac answered. “Is something wrong?”

Todd swiveled around. People were beginning to exit their houses upon hearing his screams, wondering what the commotion was all about. His legs burned from so much running, but this was nothing compared to not knowing where Mary was. She couldn’t have run away. She wasn’t the type, and a nine-year-old couldn’t have gone far on foot. He barreled back into the house to get his car keys, passing Dana on the way.

“Dana! Call 911! Now!” Todd bellowed.

This time, Dana didn’t hesitate. She got her cellphone out and called the police, bawling as she told them what happened. “My daughter’s missing and we can’t find her anywhere! Please send help!”

Upstairs, Reagan found herself back in Mary’s room, reading the hasty letter over and over, hoping she could make sense of it. She couldn’t. So many questions swirled in her mind like a tornado destroying everything in its path. Why does Mary think nobody loves her? Did she actually run away, or was she kidnapped and was forced to write this? Reagan knew the latter couldn’t be the case. Kidnappers often took the kids straight up without stopping to make them write notes. That would take too much time and effort, if all the crime shows she watched taught her anything.

But more importantly...where was she, and was she okay?

Reagan held the note to her chest and cried.

“Mary...where are you…?”

Chapter Text

“Wooooow!” Mary’s mouth hung open in awe as she saw the pastoral scenery laid out before her. She entered a new car that had nothing but a beautiful blue sky and more tall hills than she could ever hope to count. They reached high into the sky, as if boasting how much closer they were to heaven than she was, and tall grass swayed gently in the breeze, their rustling noises music to Mary’s ears. It was like she had been transplanted from her home city to someplace in the countryside.

“Look, Mimi!” Mary held her stuffed bunny outward, positioning her head so she could see everything. “Isn’t this all so pretty? It’s hills and hills, everywhere!”

Mimi said nothing. Her head fell forward, her limp ears weighing her down.

“But I wonder how big this car is?” Mary wondered out loud. The Green Car was pretty big in and of itself, but with a car based on the outdoors, she was sure it’d take much longer to get to the exit, what with how many hills there are.

Seeing as she was already at the top of one hill, Mary carefully walked down, keeping her legs firmly planted on the ground as she descended downward. It wasn’t as steep as she thought it’d be, and she got to the bottom fairly easily, but she knew from experience that going up was usually much harder than going down. Especially with how heavy her backpack is, and having Mimi in her arms. But there wasn’t anything else she could go to get up other than walk. Adjusting the straps on her backpack, she held onto Mimi and walked, keeping her feet firm on the ground. But halfway up, her legs began to burn. Once she made it to the top, her lungs strained, making her stop to gasp for air.

“Uuugh. This is gonna be tough,” Mary groaned once she caught her breath. Then an old memory flashed through her mind. Sometimes, when she and her family went to a local park, Mary and Reagan would climb up the hill and get down by rolling horizontally. Mary remembered how fun it was, feeling the wind against her face as she rolled downward, laughing alongside her sister, and relishing in the thrill of reaching the bottom so quickly.

Maybe that could be an alternative to just walking down these hills. But she didn’t want to roll with her backpack still on her back, as that’d probably be uncomfortable. She unzipped her backpack just a bit and slid Mimi inside, keeping her head out, as she couldn’t push her in all the way. Mary put her backpack on the other side of the hill, let go, and watched as it slid downward in a smooth motion. It hit the ground, and thankfully, Mimi didn’t fall out.

“Okay. Let’s see if this works,” Mary got down on her side and spun herself around. It took no time at all for her body to accelerate, gaining momentum with every spin. “Wheeeeeeeeee!!” She squealed, stretching her arms outward, relishing in just how much easier it was to spin her way downward than simply walk. She landed right on top of her backpack, which broke her fall.

“Wow! That was fun!” Mary exclaimed. But she could feel her head pounding just a bit, probably from how fast she was spinning.

She repeated this process for exactly three hills. She’d walk up to the top, slide her backpack down the other side, and roll all the way down. But when she got to the top of one hill, Mary’s legs began burning from the strain of walking so much. Her stomach growled once more, and she was too tired to continue.

“I...need...a break…” Mary huffed and puffed, her cheeks red and splotchy from heaving and taking in so many breaths. Once she finished, she laid her chin on Mary’s head, holding her close as she saw just how far the hills seemed to go. There seemed to be no end to them. The beautiful but dispiriting sight made Mary sigh. “This is gonna take forever.”

“Hey, kid.”

“Hm?” Was that a voice she heard? Mary looked around. She didn’t see anyone else here. Or was it someone she couldn’t see?

“Down here. Right below you.”

Below her? Mary looked down...only to find a set of eyes and a mouth on the grass beneath her. “Yeeek!!” Mary yelped, falling backwards on her rear once again. But she did have the presence of mind to make sure not to roll down the hill.

“Oh. Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you,” The hill told her in a deep, baritone voice that made it sound like a man.

“Uhh...it’s okay,” Mary’s nerves gradually began to ease. Still, this was another shock to her system. First talking grapes, now talking hills? What was next? Magical unicorns? Talking household appliances? Aliens riding bicycles into the night sky? “Who are you?”

“You can call me Navarre,” The sentient hill—Navarre—replied. “You’re probably gonna have a hard time getting to the exit on foot at the rate you’re going.”

Mary puffed her cheeks out. Did he really need to remind her of how enormous this place was? But she knew he wasn’t wrong. “Yeah. I wonder if there’s a way I can get there faster.”

“If you want, my friends and I can help you,” Navarre told her.

“Wait, really?”

Navarre nodded.

“But who do you mean by your friends?”

“They’re all around us.”

Mary looked up, suddenly seeing faces on every hill she saw. All of them smiled at her. Some of them sprouted large, grassy arms, waving at her. She had no idea they could do that.

“We can help you get to the exit,” Navarre said, sprouting a giant grass arm of his own. “Just hop on my hand, and I’ll pass you to the next hill. They’ll carry you to the next one, and so on.”

“Really?” Mary couldn’t believe how generous Navarre and his hill buddies were being, and they had only just met. “Thanks so much!” With a smile, she threw her backpack on her back, held Mimi close, and walked onto Navarre’s leafy palm.

The mountainous, grass-covered hands felt more like elevators, descending to the ground at a slow, steady pace, stopping right in front of another one, with the two of them forming a bridge so Mary could walk to the next one. The process was repeated for at least twenty hills. Mary had to admit, this way was much easier, and she could see hawks and eagles soaring across the sky, the sunlight pouring down on the world making their bodies look completely black against the light. Plus, this was much easier on her legs. It wasn’t long before one of the large grass hands stopped at the bottom of one hill.

“And there’s the exit!” The hill that was carrying her exclaimed.

But when Mary saw the exit, she could only stare, eyes wide in confusion. The red door had been smashed to pieces, with large chunks of it scattered all around the exit. She could see the bridge leading to the next car. “What in the world happened here?” Mary asked out loud.

“Some magical deer destroyed it,” The hill right above her replied.

A magical deer? How could a deer singlehandedly destroy a thick metal door? With its antlers? Mary was sure deer antlers couldn’t go through metal. Glass, maybe, but not metal as far as she knew. Still, she made it to the exit without difficulty.

She turned around to face the hills behind her and shouted, hopefully loud enough for them to hear, “Thank you all so much for helping me!!”

“You’re welcome!” A chorus of jubilant voices responded back, with the hills raising all their grassy hands, waving her goodbye.

Mary held onto Mimi as she turned to face the door and walked through the broken entrance. This time, she didn’t feel as afraid to cross the bridge to the next car. With a smile on her face, she looked forward to whatever was in the next car. Still, she did think that maybe it’d be fun to live in the hill car. Surrounded by nice friends, rolling on the grass, watching a turquoise sky, without a care in the world. It would be absolute bliss. But she didn’t see any food in the car, nor anything else like bathrooms or private places where she could change her clothes without anyone seeing.

She shook her head. Maybe living in the hill car wasn’t the best idea. But any place that didn’t have her mother in it was good enough for her.

Unbeknownst to Mary, her number shot up eight digits, rounding out to 124.

An hour had passed since the Summers discovered that Mary had gone missing. Todd drove all throughout the neighborhood to see if he could find her on his own. He came up empty, as did both Dana and Reagan. They wasted no time calling the police once they made it back home. Police cars, with their red and blue sirens flashing in the morning light, congregated in front of the Summers house. Dana sat on the living room couch, bawling into her hands while Todd could only rub her back with one hand, unsure of how to console her. Reagan sat with them, holding the note in her hands. Several officers came in to ask questions, with one of them writing things down in a notepad he carried with him. At one point, Reagan gave one of the officers an item belonging to Mary so his dog can track her scent.

“So when was the last time you saw your daughter?” The dark-skinned officer asked.

“Last night,” Todd answered, his eyes glassy and moist from oncoming tears. “I tucked her into bed and made sure she was asleep. We don’t know exactly when she left.”

“She left this note,” Reagan handed it to the blonde officer, and he took a minute to look it over.

“Are you sure she’s not at a friend’s house?” The blonde officer questioned.

“Yes! She never goes anywhere on her own, especially on foot!” Dana snapped, slamming her hand on the couch cushion she sat on. “She’s autistic, for God’s sake!”

“Has she ever run away before?” The first officer asked.

“No. Not ever,” Reagan replied, glancing at the officer’s name tag—Haywood. “She’s so shy she never ventures out on her own. She’s never even walked to school.”

The two policemen exchanged looks. Oftentimes, when a child of Mary’s age would run away, they’d wind up coming back, whether due to fear, or just getting hungry. Since they didn’t know what time Mary actually ran away, as she was already gone when everybody else woke up, they could tell something more serious was afoot. There was a difference between a child claiming they’ll run away, and actually going through with it.

“Have you seen anything suspicious before this?” The blonde officer, whose name tag read Lowell, inquired. “Like, weird people hanging around, or vehicles you don’t recognize?”

Everyone shook their heads no. The two officers rubbed their heads in confusion. “Are we allowed to request Amber Alerts if we don’t have a description of a vehicle?” Officer Lowell asked.

“I’ll have to check,” Officer Haywood pulled out his walkie-talkie and walked out the front door.

The Summers family hated how helpless they felt in this moment. Mary could be out there somewhere, all alone, possibly scared, and there was nothing they could do about it except wait. What if she had been kidnapped? Neither Dana nor Todd dared to think something so horrible. Reagan could only think about the note Mary left, and the words scribbled on it completely consumed her mind. Questions without answers drowned her in a constant stream. Why does Mary think nobody loves her? What made her think her life was a lie? How was it a lie? Was last night’s incident the straw that broke the camel’s back? Guilt weighed heavy in her heart. Maybe if she had done more to stop Dana from restraining her yesterday, or all the other times before that, would Mary have stayed? She wished she could just go out there and try her hand at tracking down Mary again, but as of right now, the police advised against it.

But she didn’t want to sit here and do nothing. Sure, the police were more qualified to do this, but just sitting here was making Reagan feel restless. Pacing around the room didn’t help. Her stomach growled, and she looked over at the dining room table. Her French toast was still on its plate, with the syrup having completely melted into the bread. Hunger overrode her worry, and Reagan figured she could at least get this done and over with. She took the bread into her hand and ate it, chewing it slowly, hoping time would move faster. The toast was lukewarm, almost cold, but she didn’t care. She could hear the officers asking her parents more questions, like if they had gotten into any fights or how their relationships were. All she could do was hope that Mary was okay, and hopefully not kidnapped by some creep.

“Reagan?” Her father’s voice pulled her out of her reverie. She didn’t turn around to look at him, continuing to eat her French toast. A warm hand snaked around her, pulling her close to his sweater. She could feel the subtle, prickly hairs that formed his goatee brushing against the top of her head. Tears trickled out, and after Reagan finished her toast, she couldn’t keep them in anymore. She buried her face into her father’s chest and cried. All Todd did was wrap another arm around her, stroking her back and allowing her to cry.

“We’ll find her. We won’t give up. Not ever,” Todd whispered reassuringly, though she could tell the statement sounded forced, what with how shaky his voice was. “We’ll do all we can to find her and make sure she’s safe.”

“Officer Lowell!” Another policeman dashed into the house, approaching Lowell with a blanched, wide eyed expression. “One of the canines picked up a scent down at Cascade!”

Cascade? Everyone’s heads shot up. That was a road not too far from here. Officer Haywood stole a glance at the Summers’ family. “Want to come with us?”

Instead of answering outright, the trio made a mad dash outside. It took all but seconds for them to get in Todd’s car and make the short drive to Cascade road. When they got there, police cars dotted the little park, with many officers already examining the slide and the swings. A German shepherd was sticking its nose into one of the holes in the jungle gym, giving a low whine as it tried to paw towards the center. As soon as they pulled up, the Summers’ made their way to the jungle gym.

The female officer holding the dog by the leash flashed a despondent glance towards Officer Haywood. “Sorry. The trail stops here.”

Having heard this, as she was within earshot of them, Reagan’s mouth fell agape. How could a scent trail stop in the middle of a park? It wasn’t raining, so Mary’s scent couldn’t have washed away.

Dana let out a scream before crawling into the jungle gym to reach for something. Lying on the ground was a single, pink ribbon trimmed with lace. “This is Mary’s bow!” Dana shouted tearfully, taking the delicate bow into her hands and crawling back out from the jungle gym.

“Really?” Todd asked as he and Reagan clustered around her to get a good look. The ribbon did indeed belong to Mary. Reagan even recognized it. It was one of a set that she bought for Mary for her seventh birthday.

Reagan remembered that day all too perfectly. She and her father had gone to the mall to get birthday presents for her, and they passed by a Claire’s store. She heard Mary say to Mimi once that she wished she had new ribbons, as her other ones were getting worn out and dirty. Mary had asked her mother once if they could buy new ribbons. Dana said they would, but on one condition: That Mary stop flapping her hands and bouncing her legs forever. Reagan saw the way Mary’s face blanched, her desolate, wide-eyed stare, and the look of utter rejection and sorrow she had before seeing her run like the wind. Reagan tasted bile in her mouth at the sight of her mother telling Mary that the only way she’d ever get anything she wanted was if Mary stopped being herself. Stopped being autistic. Stopped being authentic. Reagan didn’t want to see that look on Mary’s face ever again. Not if she could help it, though she still wound up seeing it more often than she wanted. She bought new ribbons at Claire’s, and seeing the radiant smile on Mary’s face when she saw them made it all worth it.

That day, Reagan came to realize that Dana’s refusal to buy Mary’s new ribbons wasn’t simply a refusal. She was actively trying to keep Mary from having anything nice as punishment for being autistic, disguising it as inciting her to motivate herself to adapt to Dana’s idea of normal. That moment wasn’t the first time Dana refused to buy Mary something nice, or to let her do something she wanted, even when the both of them knew it wasn’t a big deal. She wondered if Mary just flat-out had enough of constantly being rejected for being herself over and over again. Was that what made her run away? If that was the case, Reagan didn’t blame her. Still, Mary was out there, all alone, completely vulnerable. Anything could happen.

Instead of having a fun weekend like they had planned, the Summers focused all their efforts into finding Mary. Todd and Reagan drove around the neighborhood, looking for her. Todd in his car, and Reagan on her bicycle. Dana remained at home, posting about Mary’s disappearance on social media, figuring that would be a good way to get the word out. The police searched further out. Search parties scoured the woods, with twigs snapping underneath their shoes and people calling Mary’s name far and wide. They were met with nothing. Reagan even made missing person posters and stapled them on every telephone pole she could find. This was far better than sitting around doing nothing. Unfortunately, all efforts came up empty.

On Sunday night, the Summers found themselves at home, unable to do much of anything. The house felt...emptier without Mary in it. When Reagan did her homework, she expected to find Mary sitting on her bedroom floor, reading a book or playing pretend with her toys and stuffed animals like always. But it was eerily silent. Tears trickled down her face as she put her homework away.

It wasn’t the same without Mary. Guilt and yearning weighed heavy in Reagan’s gut. She fell face first down onto her bed and cried into the comforter, wishing she had done more to help Mary. Done more to stop this from happening.

“Mary...Mary...please be okay...I’m so sorry!” Reagan bawled and her tears stained her comforter, but she didn’t care. She wished she could do something, anything, to get Mary back.

Just outside her bedroom door, Todd stood and watched the scene with furrowed eyebrows. He wished he could go in there and comfort his oldest daughter. But a part of him advised against it, insisting that Reagan needed her space right now. He refrained, as there was something else he needed to do. But that needed to wait until morning, as it was too late in the day to do so right now.

“I’m leaving! Bye!” Caitlin got on her scooter and rode down the street, zipping towards school, which was only a few blocks away. She barely noticed her mother calling out to her, but she didn’t pay her any heed. The wind brushed right past her as she turned a sharp corner, reveling in the cold air chafing her face.

“I can’t wait to ask Mary to come with us to the zoo!” Caitlin said to herself out loud, swiping her foot against the concrete beneath her to make her scooter go faster.

When she got home from school on Friday, her parents said they planned to take everyone to the zoo next weekend, and they suggested inviting Mary and her family along. Or invite just Mary, if the rest of the family couldn’t come, and if that was the case, they’d do all they could to make sure she had a fun time while accommodating her autistic needs, like find a quiet place to go if it was too loud. Caitlin couldn’t wait to tell Mary all about it when she got to school.

The blacktop was abuzz with activity, overflowing with children when she got there. Oddly enough, Caitlin didn’t see Mary anywhere. She tied her scooter to the bike rack and made sure it was secure before heading to the blacktop. There wasn’t any sign of Mary anywhere. She did catch sight of Leo, with his signature buzz cut, naturally tan skin, navy blue hoodie and black jeans.

“Leo!” Caitlin ran over to him with a bright smile and an enthusiastic wave. Leo gasped a little, as his friend rarely ever greeted him with anything less than loud enthusiasm, but his shoulders relaxed upon seeing her.

“Hi, Cait. What’s up?” Leo replied with his sheepish smile.

“Not much. My parents and I are gonna go to the zoo next weekend!” Caitlin effused, jumping up and down, the two tiny pigtails at the base of her neck bouncing, reflecting her movements. “I really hope they still have the red panda exhibit!”

“Cool! I wish I could go,” Leo said, adjusting his backpack with one hand. “I’d love to see the elephants and the lions again.”

“By the way, have you seen Mary around?” Caitlin asked after she calmed down. “I don’t see her anywhere.”

“I saw her dad going inside the school earlier, but not Mary,” Leo answered. “That is strange, though. It’s not like Mary to miss school. Maybe she’s sick or something?”

Caitlin crossed her arms, figuring that would be the case. “Probably. Who knows?”

They weren’t too bothered, so they decided that if Mary showed up tomorrow, they could tell her about the zoo. The two friends talked and played on the blacktop right until the bell rang, calling them inside for classes. When the kids set their things down and sat at their desks, they realized Mr. Bryant wasn’t here yet. Several kids exchanged perplexed expressions. This was odd. Mr. Bryant was never late for class. He was always here before them.

“Now this is weird,” Leo said. “Are we getting a substitute or something?”

Leo’s question was immediately answered when Mr. Bryant came into class, with heavy books in hand. But something was very off, and the kids knew it. He had a big frown on his face, and his eyes looked glassy, like something terrible had happened to him. He also didn’t immediately greet everyone right away, as he always did so before class. Instead, he set his books down in silence. The air in the classroom became heavy with silence. Caitlin couldn’t believe it. Even the kids who rarely ever quieted down unless the teacher told them to were completely silent. What was going on?

After a minute, Mr. Bryant got his things in order and stood at the front of the classroom. “Hello, everyone. Normally I’d say good morning, but…” His voice wasn’t big, booming, and enthusiastic as it usually was. It had a sad, desolate undercurrent, and was almost a whisper. “I have some very sad news today.”

Everyone broke into a chorus of whispering. Normally, Mr. Bryant would gently advise everyone to quiet down, but Caitlin and Leo could see that he wasn’t even in the mood to do that.

“This past weekend, Mary Summers went missing. No one knows where she is or how she went missing,” Mr. Bryant finally explained.

Yet another chorus of whispers followed. Ice ran over Caitlin and Leo’s faces as the meaning behind their teacher’s words sank in. Mary was missing? How? When? Why? Several children immediately began inundating Mr. Bryant with questions.

“Was she kidnapped?”

“Did she run away?”

“Is she okay?”

“What happened to her?”

Mr. Bryant slowly shook his head. “As of now, we don’t know. The police are looking for her as we speak,” He said.

Caitlin buried her face in her arms, her teacher’s words reduced to little more than white noise. Mary was truly gone? What happened to her? Questions without answers swirled through her mind, overriding everything else. Even as classes resumed, Mary remained on Caitlin’s mind no matter what. She occasionally exchanged worried looks with Leo, and his furrowed eyebrows and moist eyes told her all she needed to know about how he was feeling about all this. It didn’t seem real. Mary was never absent from school for as long as the two of them had known her. Their whole bodies buzzed, and they wished they could just get out of class and look for her, but the kids knew they couldn’t. It was against the rules to just run out of the classroom, but they hated feeling so restless and...helpless.

Lunch time was a quieter affair than it usually was. Caitlin and Leo sat next to each other at the long tables like they usually did, but didn’t have it in them to talk. All they did was eat their food in desolate silence. Furthermore, even if they wanted to talk, they were sure they wouldn’t be able to hear each other over the cacophony of all the other kids screaming and palavering all around them. Finally, recess came around, and Caitlin and Leo made it to their spot on the blacktop, managing to find a moment to talk now that they were away from the crowds.

“Mr. Bryant said the police are involved. That’s gotta mean it’s super serious, right?” Leo asked, his voice trembling.

“Yeah. I watch some crime shows with my mom sometimes,” Caitlin replied. “They say if someone’s missing for more than two days, people can file a missing person’s report...or something.”

“But what happened to her?” Leo dropped the question. The two of them knew they had no answers, but the Latino boy couldn’t keep it in. “You don’t think she was kidnapped by some creep, do you?”

“I don’t know,” Caitlin answered, sliding against the chain link fence as she sat down on the concrete. “I’ll ask Mom about it when I get home. Maybe I can help her put up missing person posters or something.”

The duo knew there wouldn’t be much they could really do to help search for Mary. Mr. Bryant didn’t say much about how she disappeared, and he was likely just as much in the dark as they were. Leo could only look through the holes in the fence, kicking a stone through one of them.

“You don’t think she’s...I dunno...dead?” Leo suggested.

“No! Absolutely not! She can’t be dead!” Caitlin snapped. Tears trickled out from her eyes when she shouted her answer, and Leo flinched, backpedaling to give her some space.

“Sorry...I shouldn’t have said that.”

Caitlin gritted her teeth as she kicked part of the fence in front of her. She wished she could just run out of the school and search for Mary on her own. Just get on her scooter and ride all through town. Caitlin just knew that Mary couldn’t be dead. There was just no way. Not unless something actually proved that she was. Until that happened, Caitlin refused to think the unthinkable.

Just like that, her plan to invite Mary to the zoo with her family went up in smoke, and in the worst possible way. Caitlin didn’t feel like sticking around here anymore, so she picked up a stick and began sliding it against the chain link fence as she walked, with Leo following next to her. What could they even talk about at this point?

“I don’t know why everybody’s making such a big deal about it.”

The duo froze when they realized who that voice belonged to. Caitlin looked to her right and saw Greg and two of his friends conversing with one another just six feet away. Greg had his arms crossed and had a smug look on his face, having not noticed Caitlin and Leo passing by him.

“So what if Mary’s missing? I say good riddance!” Greg exclaimed. “I’m sick and tired of that stupid baby getting special treatment all the time. Now we don’t have to put up with her anymore.”

Fire ran through Caitlin’s veins in that moment. How dare he talk about Mary like that! Caitlin gritted her teeth. Leo, sensing the danger signal, put a hand on her shoulder and wordlessly shook her head, advising her that getting angry wasn’t going to solve anything. Caitlin knew this, but hearing Greg talk smack about Mary like that...her blood continued to boil.

“Don’t you think you’re being a little mean?” One of his friends—Caitlin remembered his name was Tyrus—pointed out. “I mean, I’m not the biggest fan of her either, but you heard what Mr. Bryant said. The police are involved, and that means something really bad happened to her. Like, super duper bad. Maybe she got kidnapped or something.”

A valid point.

“Come on, Cait,” Leo whispered, tugging on her hoodie. “Let’s go. He’s not worth it.”

It took everything Caitlin had just to wrench her face away from Greg, and she turned on her heel to walk away. But only walked two steps.

“All the better,” Greg hissed without any hint of empathy whatsoever. “I hope whoever snatched her kills her. We’d all be better off—”

Greg had no chance to finish his sentence, as Caitlin tackled him to the ground, screeching and howling. Greg’s friends backed away as the blonde girl pinned him to the concrete before using one hand to smack him across the face. Then another, and another, repeating the process as much as she could. Greg attempted to push her off, but the wild girl refused to budge, using all the strength she had to pummel the redhead’s face in. Leo rushed in to try and pull Caitlin off by wrapping his arms around her waist, but his efforts were futile. Other kids gathered around, watching the brawl play out before them, while a few others ran.

“You’re awful!!” Caitlin screamed right in Greg’s face, with spit flying right into it. “You take that back right now!!”

“No way! Get off me!” Greg used one hand to push on Caitlin’s face, hoping that would deter her. She simply brushed it off and closed a hand into a fist.

“Cait! No!” Leo tried to grab her arm, but she moved too fast for him to catch up. Unfortunately for her, Greg moved his head to the side, avoiding the punch. He used one leg to kick her in the stomach. Caitlin’s airway cut off, and she found herself unable to breathe. Greg crawled out from underneath her, finally free from the assault. Her blonde hair tumbled about her beet red face, and she shot a wild glare at the startled redhead, baring her teeth like a predator ready to strike.

“I’m gonna make you pay for that!!” Caitlin roared, attempting to sprint towards him to do more. Thankfully, Leo and Tyrus managed to hold her back by clutching the back of her hoodie.

“Not if I get you first!” Unsatisfied with simply seeing her being held back, Greg readied a fist and almost made a dash towards her.

“Oh, no you don’t!” A hand pulled on the back of his sweater, preventing more carnage. He looked up, seeing Mr. Bryant with a severe look on his face. “Care to explain to me what’s going on?”

“Crazy Caitlin started punching me for no reason!!” Greg was quick to point at Caitlin.

“Greg was talking trash about Mary!! He said he hopes some guy kidnapped and killed her!” Caitlin shot back.

“It’s true! We all saw it!” Both Leo and Tyrus proclaimed in unison.

Mr. Bryant could only sigh. “Caitlin. Greg. Come with me to the nurse’s office,” He gestured for them to follow. Knowing it was useless to disobey, the two enemies flanked him as they made their way back into the school building. The school nurse looked them over, and other than a few scratches, neither child had much in the way of serious injuries, so she handed them some band-aids to put on their wounds. Mr. Bryant stayed with them the entire time. Seeing that the air between them was tense, he kneeled down to their level.

“Caitlin, I know you’re upset about Mary going missing. I am, too, and what Greg said is unacceptable. However, you know that resorting to violence isn’t the right course of action,” Mr. Bryant reminded her, his tone gentle but firm. “The next time you hear someone make light of Mary’s disappearance, come and talk to me about it.”

Caitlin remained grimly silent.

“And Greg, it’s not right to make light of a classmate going missing,” Mr. Bryant told him. “You should never claim that someone who’s gone missing should die or get killed, even as a joke. Imagine if your mother or older sister went missing. Would you like it if someone said they were happy if they went missing?”

Like Caitlin, Greg remained silent. Mr. Bryant gave a defeated sigh, knowing these two were steadfast in their silence. “I won’t force you two to apologize, but you’ll both be on the bleachers for the rest of the week, and tomorrow you’ll stay after school with me for detention.”

“Hey! That’s not fair!” Greg suddenly shouted.

“Should have thought of that before you said Mary’d be better off dead!” Caitlin hissed.

“Caitlin,” Mr. Bryant drew out Caitlin’s name in a warning tone. “Let me handle this.”

As much as Caitlin hated to admit it, Mr. Bryant did have valid points, so she accepted her punishment without complaint. She was just happy that Greg was getting punished as well. He had no right to make cracks at Mary like that. Not about her best friend. But in all honesty, detention and sitting on the bleachers at recess was nothing compared to knowing that Mary was gone, and possibly would be for a long time. The rest of the school day passed uneventfully, but the restlessness gnawed at Caitlin’s soul like a snake coiling around its prey.

When the final bell rang, Caitlin was one of the first to sprint out of the building. She unhooked her scooter from the bike rack and raced down the street. But instead of turning on the street that would lead to her house, she went in a different direction. She zipped down several streets, passing by the park on Cascade street, and arriving at a bright yellow house. Mary’s house. Just as she arrived, a school bus stopped at the bus stop. Reagan exited the bus with a forlorn look on her face.

“Reagan!” Caitlin shouted, running over to the teenager so fast, one would have thought her house was on fire.

“Whoa! Caitlin?” Reagan recoiled a bit when the girl ran up to her, but took a minute to calm down as she processed her appearance. “What are you doing here?”

“Is it true?” Caitlin wasted no time asking her about Mary. “Is Mary really missing? What happened? Did she get kidnapped?”

“Whoa whoa, calm down a bit,” Reagan advised. “Let’s sit down on the porch and talk.”

The two girls made their way to the porch and sat down. Caitlin sat on the concrete porch while Reagan sat on the black metal chair just behind her, figuring the younger girl needed some space. “I take it the school told you about it, huh?”

“Yeah. Mr. Bryant told us,” Caitlin replied, turning around to face Reagan. Her mouth fell agape as she noticed grey bags weighing down Reagan’s eyes. “But what actually happened?”

“Well…” Reagan groped around for an answer, looking all around the porch. “The truth is...she ran away.”

“Ran away?” Caitlin repeated the words out loud, hoping they’d make sense if she heard them again. They didn’t. “But why? Mary’s never run away before. Why would she do that?”

“I don’t know,” Reagan held her backpack close to her chest, her voice desolate. “All we know for sure is that she disappeared before we woke up. I found a note she wrote in her room. She claims that nobody loves her and that her life is a lie. We’ve been searching for her all weekend, but...we can’t find her.”

The sorrow in Reagan’s voice was clear as day, like glass that was close to breaking. Caitlin stood up and wrapped her short arms around the teenager. She knew the gesture wouldn’t do much, but she figured Reagan needed some show of support. Reagan flashed a sad but grateful smile and wrapped one hand around the younger girl. Still, Reagan’s answers only raised further questions. Why would Mary run away? Why did she think nobody loved her? Caitlin loved her, Reagan loved her, and her family did as well, and what did she mean by her life being a lie? Nothing made any sense.

“Sorry I don’t have any more answers for you, Cait,” Reagan told her. “My parents and I are just as confused about it as you are.”

“It’s okay,” Caitlin said, wiping some stray tears with one hand. “Do you know if there’s a search party being held? I can help you guys look for her.”

“There is, but we can’t go,” Reagan answered. “You have to be eighteen to participate.”

Caitlin stamped her foot on the concrete. “That’s stupid! I can cover a lot of ground with my scooter, and you with your bike!”

“Yeah. I agree. But we have to do things by the book and let the police handle it,” Reagan reminded her. “Believe me, I’ve been searching for her on my own all weekend.”

The bags under Reagan’s eyes told Caitlin all she needed to know.

“Greg was saying mean things about Mary in school today,” Caitlin confessed. “I got mad and punched him. He said Mary’s better off kidnapped or dead.”

Reagan’s face contorted into a snarl. “Can’t even say I’m surprised. That little brat.”

“I know I shouldn’t have done that, but...I hate it!” Caitlin exclaimed, sitting down next to Reagan. “I hate that I can’t do anything to help find her! And some people don’t even care!”

“I know. It’s so frustrating…” Reagan agreed.

The two of them sat in silence, in shared sorrow and solidarity. Caitlin knew she’d have to go home soon and face the consequences of her actions. She was sure her parents would be mad, but she didn’t mind. Nothing could be worse than knowing her best friend was out there somewhere, scared and alone, possibly in danger.

“My family and I plan on going to the zoo next weekend,” Caitlin murmured, her vision blurring with oncoming tears again. “They said I could invite Mary if she wanted to come. I really wanted to tell her about it and have her come with us…” Caitlin’s voice broke.

Reagan slid off the chair and down to Caitlin’s level, pulling her into a hug. Caitlin cried into Reagan’s chest, unable to keep it in anymore. Reagan could only stroke the younger girl’s back, rubbing her hand up and down. She knew the gesture wouldn’t do much, but it was all she could do.

“Mary would have absolutely loved that,” Reagan whispered. “I’m not giving up. I’ll keep searching for her, no matter what it takes. If I hear anything, I’ll drop by your place and let you know. Leo, too.”

Caitlin nodded, her whimpers muffled by Reagan’s thick sweater.

The two girls remained on the porch, comforting one another, swearing that they’d find Mary no matter what.

Chapter Text

While the Hill Car had been a literal walk in the park for Mary, the next car wound up being anything but.

“Eeep!” As soon as she walked in, she saw a pink water balloon fly right past her. Mary was quick to back away as soon as she saw it, so she managed to avoid getting wet, but when she saw what kind of car she was in, ice ran over her face.

The car was little more than a narrow hallway painted turquoise, and all of its inhabitants were colorful balloon animals. All of them held up flat, giant balloon shields shaped like rectangles, like colorful versions of the shields the SWAT team would use. All of the balloon animals were throwing water balloons at one another. Water balloons soared every which way, with several striking some denizens square in the face, breaking apart and showering them with water. The subtle gurgling of water caught Mary’s ears, as she looked behind the balloon animals and saw little creeks running behind them. Was that where they got their water? She also saw piles upon piles of unused balloons everywhere.

Mary bristled as her mind searched for a way to get through this car without getting wet. “Ugh! I definitely don’t wanna live in this car! No I don’t!” Mary said to herself.

Thankfully, the exit was only about thirty feet away, but Mary knew the problem would actually be getting there without getting soaked to the bone. None of the denizens seemed to notice her, and were too busy throwing water balloons and shouting war cries at one another to pay much attention to anything that wasn’t in front of them. Mary knew she had to get out of this car, and fast. But how could she get to the exit? She looked behind the denizens, noticing that the floor was covered with unused water balloons, shriveled up and not blown up yet.

Wait a minute...Mary saw a potential solution hatch in her mind, like a baby bird breaking out of its egg. Maybe she could crawl underneath the unused balloons. There were so many of them, she could probably use them as a cover so any water balloons that hit her wouldn’t get wet. It helped that most of the denizens held up big, tall shields, and many of the balloons from one side didn’t hit the army on her left.

Mary silently approached one denizen, a balloon animal that looked like a brown and green turtle. “Excuse me?”

“What is it?!” The balloon turtle yelled. “I’m trying to protect my dignity as an army commander here!!”

“Eep!” The turtle’s voice exploded in Mary’s ears, and her hands flew up to protect them from further yelling. “May I please sneak past your...army so I can get to the exit?” Mary asked in a low, sheepish whisper, hoping she came across as polite as possible. “I promise not to get in your way.”

“Sure! Sure! Whatever! Just don’t drink any of our water!” The turtle barked, making no effort to lower his voice one bit.

Permission secured, Mary covered herself with unused water balloons and ran behind the turtle’s army of balloon animals. She kept an eye on her left, watching for any water balloons that threatened to explode upon contact. One balloon animal shaped like an elephant got soaked as soon as Mary slipped past it. “Better hurry!” Mary told herself, running faster.

In no time at all, she made it to the exit, going through the door right as a purple water balloon almost hit her. She closed the exit behind her and exhaled a huge sigh of relief, leaning against the door and falling to the floor. Now that was a stressful car. As much as she liked the occasional water balloon fight with her friends, she didn’t want to get her clothes and stuff wet, and she didn’t bring her bathing suit, not that she needed it. No way did she want to live in a car like that. She kicked her legs up and down and flapped her hands to get the stress out of her system. At least the Hill Car didn’t have denizens trying to hurt each other all the time, and she did not want to get caught up in a water balloon war.

Thankfully, her self-soothing technique worked like a charm, even if it took her about five minutes to get the anxiety out of her system. She clutched Mimi in her arms, stood up, and walked across the bridge leading to the next car. Mary swallowed as she made it to the entrance, hoping the next car wouldn’t be as stressful. Mary turned the handles, and the door slid open with a harsh whirring noise. The scent of something sweet caught her nostrils.

Chocolate chip cookies? Or was it something else? When Mary saw what was beyond the train door, her mouth fell wide open in pure awe.

A vast expanse of sweets and candy confections appeared before her, bursting with color. The sky was a lovely shade of cotton candy pink with specs of orange and purple mixing in with it. Gingerbread houses decorated with all manner of confections like whipped cream, gummies, and frosting lined peppermint cobblestoned streets. Wafer bridges spread across flowing chocolate rivers, and the roof tiles on the houses were sprinkled with light dustings of sugar and iced with frosting in a whole rainbow of colors. Lollipops, licorice, and candy canes sprouted out from the ground like flowers. Mary could also see large, delectable cakes farther in, like a many tiered chocolate one, and a white frosted shortcake with a ring of strawberries circling the top.

“Wooooow!” Mary found herself speechless. A mob of little gingerbread men walked past her, smiling and singing a merry tune to themselves as they carried multicolored marshmallows in their little arms.

“Look at this, Mimi!” Mary exclaimed, putting Mimi in front of her as she walked. “It’s a whole world of sweets and cake and candy!”

Already, the urge to just eat every single one of these delicious confections threatened to override her need to walk through this train car. A large lump of flan wiggled on her right, and next to it were several bars of chocolate.

“But should I just eat it, though?” Mary wondered out loud. “Do I need to ask permission to eat them?”

She did see some gingerbread denizens running around. Maybe she could ask one of them if it was okay to eat all the sweets here. Just as that thought entered her head, a sentient gummy worm slithered right in front of her.

“Oooh! A moving gummy worm!” Mary cajoled, kneeling down to its level. “Hey, Mister Gummy Worm! Is it okay for me to eat any of the sweets around here?” She asked.

Wordlessly, the blue and white gummy worm nodded before slithering away.

“Yaaaaay!!” Mary cheered, throwing Mimi into the air with glee before catching her with both arms. “I can eat all the sweets and candy I want, and Mom isn’t here to yell at me!”

The first thing she did was approach the flan. She didn’t want to get Mimi dirty, so she gently put her backpack down and put Mimi on top of it. Mary scooped a piece of flan out with her whole hand, taking a minute to feel it with her skin before putting it in her mouth. She made sure to eat it in small pieces, as she didn’t want to choke, and savored the taste as she chewed. It was surprisingly light and spongy.

“So this is what this kind of pudding tastes like!” Mary said after she finished, licking the remaining flan off of her hand so she wouldn’t get any or anything she touched. She remembered wanting to try eating pudding flan at least once, but none of the stores or restaurants they went to had it. Now she got to taste what it was like, and she found herself liking it. “Tastes a lot better than I thought it would!”

After a few more bites, Mary moved on from the pudding, slinging her backpack back on and cradling Mimi in her arms as she walked further down. There were so many confections that sparkled under the sunlight, almost shining.

“I’m definitely not eating any mint or peppermint, though. That stuff’s gross,” Mary said. She hated the taste of both mint and peppermint. It felt like her tongue was being stabbed with icy knives whenever she ate mint candies or peppermint. She had seen her mother eat them lots of times, and couldn’t fathom how anyone could tolerate them for even a nanosecond.

“Oooh!” Something else caught Mary’s eye, and she ran over to a row of large cupcakes the size of her whole body. All of them had different colors of swirling frosting. White, yellow, blue, purple, pink, brown...some had sprinkles on them, some had chocolate chip cookies sticking out, and some didn’t have condiments at all. Mary put Mimi down again and reached up to rank a cookie out of one cupcake with pink frosting. She wasted no time taking a big bite, and a smile spread across her face as the sweet combination of the frosting and the chocolate melted in her mouth.

“Sooooo goooood!” Mary decided right there that this was heaven. All the sweets in the world to eat at her own leisure, and nobody to tell her that she couldn’t. As far as Mary was concerned, this was a dream come true.

Once she finished the cookie, she grabbed a chunk of chocolate frosting on one of the cupcakes and bit down on it, savoring the soft, melty substance. Even just sitting down and enjoying it wasn’t enough, as she spun around like a top just to emulate the rush she was feeling just from being here. Sure, her head spun even after she stopped spinning, but it was well worth it, since she was in a train car full of her favorite things. How could she not be happy?

“I do kinda wish Caitlin and Leo were here with me though,” Mary said after sitting down. She wiped her hands on a fluffy cotton candy bush to get the leftover chocolate off of them. “I bet they’d love this place!”

Hands clean, Mary picked Mimi back up and walked further, excited for what other nice confections she’d see next. Cake pops lined some of the peppermint cobblestone streets, almost resembling Christmas lights. Donuts in all manner of flavors scattered across a frosted meadow. Mary squealed upon seeing a chocolate frosted donut that was the size of her whole head just ten feet away. She immediately ran over, her blue eyes sparkling with delight as the sweet aroma of chocolate frosting entered her nostrils once more.

“A giant chocolate donut!” Mary shouted out loud, putting Mimi down so she could lean in and bite off a good chunk of the not. Some of the frosting got on her nose, but in this moment, Mary didn’t care. Every chew and bite was a little slice of heaven that Mary found for herself. It definitely helped that her mother wasn’t here to scold her or yell at her for...just about anything. She could picture her mother, black hair askew, eyes wild and narrowed in anger, her mouth wide open to the point of baring teeth, wagging her index finger at Mary, at the idea of living in a world of sweets. Not even the image of her mother scolding her bothered her in this moment.

Mary went on to try her hand at consuming any sweets she saw that interested her. A chocolate cake pop with a light coat of white frosting. A thin rainbow lollipop she found sticking out of the ground. Rows upon rows of twizzlers and peanut butter cups. Wafers that were stuck on various gingerbread houses. There was practically no end to this world of sweets. After a while though, Mary’s stomach began to make gurgling noises, and not the good kind.

“Uugh…” Mary held a hand to her abdomen, grimacing as she felt a strange swirling sensation writhing within her. “I think I ate too much…” All the times her parents told her not to eat so much candy and junk food, she had always dismissed them. Now she knew they had been serious, and found herself wishing she hadn’t ignored their warnings before.

“Is there a bathroom around?” Mary asked no one in particular as she looked around. She didn’t see any sign of a bathroom. Would a world of sweets even have a bathroom? Did it even have water, which was needed to have a bathroom? Mary saw some gummy frogs hopping across the road, right in front of her. She tried to ask them if there was a bathroom, but they paid her no heed, as they hopped so fast, they didn’t stop to listen.

“Boo!” Mary exclaimed before walking further...but stopped after twenty feet, as something new caught her eye. A gigantic, three-tiered house made of cookies and gingerbread stood before her, with the support beams made of peppermint. Frosting and candy corn lined the windows, and round pieces of hard candy dotted the roof. The front door was basically a rectangle shaped chocolate bar with a peppermint doorknob. It almost looked like the candy house from Hansel and Gretel, that fairy tale her father read to her once before bed.

“Oooooh!” Mary stared in awe, ignoring the sick feeling in her stomach as she walked closer. “I bet this is the biggest candy house I’ve seen so far!” She held Mimi up to look her in the eye. “What do you think, Mimi?”

Mary put her hand on Mimi’s neck and shook her head up and down, simulating a nod. “Me too!” She said.

Come to think of it...Mary held a finger to her mouth, lost in thought. She hadn’t eaten any candy corn in a while. Halloween wasn’t going to be for another few weeks, and she was in the mood for candy corn. But her stomach gurgled in protest, urging her not to eat anymore. As much as she wanted to listen, the candy corn on the walls glistened under the setting sun, as if begging her to eat it.

“I’ll just have one piece!” Mary decided, ignoring her stomach’s protests. The candy corn pieces were fairly small, so she was sure just one little piece wouldn’t make her too sick. She gently removed a piece from the wall and threw it into her mouth. It tasted exactly like the candy corn she ate in the real world; hard, but easily chewable, and it didn’t melt into her tongue like chocolate did, not that she minded. She closed her eyes and savored the chewy taste. “Soooo goooooood…”

“Excuse me?”

“Hm?” An unfamiliar voice pulled Mary out of her candy-induced reverie. She opened her eyes to find...the biggest marshmallow she had ever seen standing before her. The marshmallow stood a good seven feet tall. Upon closer inspection, the marshmallow had two eyes, eyelashes on both eyes, and a long mouth. Considering this world was inhabited by sentient sweets, all these things were confirmation that this enormous marshmallow was alive.

It took seconds for Mary to realize that the marshmallow was looking right at her with an expression she couldn’t read. “Uhh...yes?” Mary stammered out.

“I don’t mean to be a bother,” The marshmallow spoke in a soft, dulcet, womanly voice. “But that piece of candy corn you just ate...was part of my house.”

Mary’s bliss was knocked right out of her as the statement made her body stiffen up in horror. She had eaten a piece of someone’s property! She didn’t know someone lived in this candy house, but she knew that didn’t make it any less wrong. Her eyes shrunk as she pictured the talking marshmallow yelling at her for her transgression. How dare Mary eat candy off of someone’s house and not know someone lived there? The marshmallow didn’t look angry, but past experience taught Mary that just because someone didn’t look mad didn’t mean they weren’t. Remorse suffocated her being as she did the only thing she knew to do.

“Waahh! I’m so sorry!” Mary bent her body in an angle and apologized profusely. Her stomach churned once more, probably out of guilt. Mary was sure just saying sorry wasn’t going to fix anything. Apologizing never seemed to work with her mother no matter how remorseful she was, so how could she expect things to be the same with the talking marshmallow? The right thing to do was to take responsibility and admit her wrongdoing, and she admitted it, but how could she make it up to the marshmallow? Her shoulders shook and her chest tightened as she remembered her mother’s angry faces and gestures flying in her face. Would the denizens of this car do something like throw her into a dungeon and lock her up forever, no matter how miniscule the crime? She didn’t want to go to jail.

‘Serves you right,’ A cruel voice in Mary’s head sneered, dripping with contempt and condescension. ‘You’re a bad child. How can you be so stupid and not know to keep your hands to yourself? You should know better!’

“I didn’t know this house belonged to somebody! Honest!” Mary found herself stammering against her better judgment. “I’ll make it up to you! I’ll do anything! I’ll work! Just please don’t lock me up in a dungeon forever!!”

“Why would I do that?”

Mary opened her eyes and saw something she didn’t expect. The marshmallow was...smiling?

“There’s no need to be upset, child,” The marshmallow told her. “I’m not angry or anything. Besides, one little missing candy corn doesn’t hurt anybody. I have plenty more inside.”

What? Mary’s mouth hung open in stunned disbelief. The marshmallow forgave her? Just like that?

“Really? You’re not mad?”

The marshmallow shook her head.

“You’re not gonna say I’m a bad kid and that my parents did a bad job raising me or that I should go to jail for being stupid and not knowing something everybody else knows?” Mary found herself asking. The idea that Mary could be so easily forgiven for doing something she shouldn’t, even small little accidents, was rather foreign to her. Her mother would always make a huge show of every little misdemeanor Mary made, even if it was an accident or not even a big deal. The fact that she felt the need to scold Mary every time she flapped her hands or talked about her favorite books made her believe that everything she did, no matter how minuscule, always warranted some kind of punishment. Last night’s incident, along with the blog detailing such, proved it. How could she believe otherwise when her mother believed it so strongly?

The marshmallow frowned, and an arm grew out from the left side of her body to scratch her head with one hand. “Of course not. What you did just now couldn’t possibly warrant a punishment that...extreme.”

This couldn’t be true. This couldn’t be happening. Mary’s mind reeled. Why was this talking marshmallow forgiving her so easily? There was just no way this could happen this easily.

Before long, the marshmallow smiled again. “Judging by the number on your hand, you’re a passenger, right?”

Mary looked at the number on her hand. It hadn’t changed. The marshmallow could probably see it glowing. “Y-Y-Y-Yes…”

The marshmallow retracted her arm, pulling it back into her squishy body. “I’m not surprised. We get a lot of passengers coming through here. Some even stay the night,” The marshmallow said sweetly, before her mouth formed an O. “Goodness, where are my manners? I didn’t even introduce myself. My name is Blanca.”

“I...I’m Mary! Mary Summers!” She blurted out. Her stomach gurgled yet again, and she held it with one hand.

“Oh, I know that sound anywhere,” Blanca said. “Do you need to use the bathroom? Here, come on inside,” Blanca pointed towards the front door. “I’ll prepare a glass of water for you, too.”

“Yeah…” Mary groaned, walking inside without protest, her anxieties about earlier having faded away. “I think I’ve had enough cake and candy for today…”

As it turned out, Blanca’s house did, in fact, have a bathroom. Mary wasn’t sure if the Sweets Car even had one. Why would talking candy and sweets need to use one? Said bathroom was made of sweets, except for the toilet and the toilet paper, which, to Mary, was somewhat of a relief. It even had regular water in it, even though she saw a chocolate river earlier. How did they have normal water? Although her mind had a million questions swimming around, Mary did her business and felt a lot better afterward. Not completely, as she still felt a little bloated, but at least she didn’t feel like she was going to explode anymore.

She walked out of the bathroom and into the dining room. Blanca stood by a low table made of wafers, and a glass of water rested on a flat cookie dough coaster. An actual glass cup, not one made out of sweets, surprisingly enough.

“It looks like you’re feeling a little better. That’s good,” Blanca said, gesturing towards a cotton candy couch, motioning for her to sit.

Mary sat down and drank the glass of water, happy that the sick feeling in her stomach was gone. For now, at least. “Thanks for that, and for the water,” Mary said sheepishly. “But how do you guys have bathrooms and water anyway?”

“It’s not uncommon for passengers like yourself to spend a night or two here, and many of them have also overindulged in sweets to the point of getting sick,” Blanca explained. “So some of us denizens reached out to One-One, the conductor, and asked him to create some facilities the humans can use when that happens. He also sent over some herbs and remedies to help with stomach aches, and had other denizens teach us how to make them.”

“You mean like...medicine?” Mary asked.

Blanca nodded. Mary’s cheeks turned pink. She had to admit, making one’s own medicine sounded pretty cool. Having your own medicine could come in handy if you weren’t near a hospital. Mary wondered if she could ever learn how to do that someday.

“It’s starting to get dark outside,” Blanca noted as she peeked out one of her windows. Mary looked outside as well. The sky turned a deep purple, with some specs of orange still lingering. It was here that Mary realized she had done nothing but walk through the train all day. How long had she been doing this? She remembered getting on the train very early in the morning, and went through a few cars. She knew the Hill Car took a very long time to get through, since it was so big, vast, and full of hills. Had she really spent an entire day on the train? It felt surreal.

“Mary?” Blanca turned around, facing Mary with a smile. “If you’re feeling tired, would you like to spend the night here in my house?”

“Huh?” Mary blinked twice, thinking she was hearing things. “Spend the night? Here? Really?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. But only if you want to. I can tell you’ve had a tiring day, and it’s always good to go on one’s journey feeling refreshed and well rested.”

Valid points. Mary’s legs did start to throb from doing so much walking, and her back was starting to strain from carrying her backpack for so long. Maybe it would be a good idea to sleep here for the night. It wasn’t like she needed to get to the next car right now. Plus, there was no telling just what the next car would be like. For all she knew, it would be really dangerous, and Mary knew she couldn’t afford to be tired if she had to deal with something like that. Why not take up Blanca’s offer? She was already being so nice.

Mary gave a nod. “Okay then! I’ll spend the night here with you, Miss Blanca!”

The marshmallow’s cheeks dusted pink. “Oh, you needn’t refer to me as Miss. Just Blanca is fine.”

“But won’t that be rude?” Mary asked. “Mom says kids shouldn’t just call grown-ups by their first names. We have to use Mister, Mrs., or Miss, like for teachers in school.”

“True, but if the grown-ups give you permission to do so, then it’s okay,” Blanca clarified.

That made sense. “Okay! Thanks, Blanca!”

Mary wasn’t sure exactly what time it was, and she didn’t feel like going to bed yet. For now, she simply put her backpack on the cotton candy bed in the next room. Surprisingly...she found herself wanting to talk to Blanca more. The giant, jiggly marshmallow just seemed to exude a mysterious warmth that Mary felt she was drawn to. But as she walked back to the living room, something caught her eye. A heart made out of braided licorice stood on a fireplace mantle. It was both black and red, and Mary stood on the tips of her toes to see it better. She wondered how someone could even make something like this.

“Ooooh…”

“Do you like it?” Blanca came up from behind her. “One of my daughters made that licorice heart.”

“Really? Cool!” Mary exclaimed, in awe of the intricate sculpture. That certainly explained why Blanca was so nice and inviting; she was a mom, too. “Wait...you said one of your daughters. Do you have other kids?”

“Yes. I have twenty children total. Ten boys and ten girls.”

Mary’s mouth fell agape, and her feet went flat upon hearing this. “Twenty?!” She yelped without meaning to. “That’s a lot!” Then it hit Mary: Blanca was the only denizen in the house she had seen so far. She didn’t see any other sentient sweets. “Where are they?”

“They all grew up and moved out,” Blanca replied, eyeing the sculpture. “Some of them do come and visit every now and again.”

Blanca’s voice quavered just a little bit, and Mary noticed it. She wondered if she should bring it up, but a part of her brain reasoned that it was probably something private she didn’t want to talk about. Not wanting to be rude, she changed the subject. “Are they all marshmallows like you?”

“Indeed they are.”

Of course they’d be marshmallows just like her. If two marshmallows got married and had kids, it was inevitable that they’d be marshmallows. Mary wondered if gingerbread men got married and made gingerbread babies. Anything seemed possible in this magical train.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Blanca changed the subject this time. “How are you liking the train?”

Did she even need to ask? Mary immediately answered, throwing both arms into the air. “I think it’s great!” She exclaimed. “A magical train where every car is its own world! Where I can do whatever I want, go wherever I want, and not get yelled at all the time! Where nobody takes me to weird doctors or tells me not to flap my hands or jump up and down when I’m excited or happy! I wanna stay on here forever!”

All throughout Mary’s exclamations of glee, Blanca listened in silence, just like Ben did in the Green Car. She had this long smile on her face, and Mary could just tell that she was genuinely interested in what she had to say and made no effort to silence her. Just watching this giant talking marshmallow listen to her talk was a feeling that was beyond comforting, but Mary didn’t know how else to describe it. Blanca not only overlooked a minor transgression Mary made like it was no big deal, she even invited her into her house and let her stay for the night. Not only that, Blanca didn’t seem interested in pressing her for her problems, or even pointing out that Mary flapped her hands and sometimes jumped up and down.

“I can see clearly that you’re very happy here,” Blanca said, her voice a little wistful, and her mouth formed a subtle frown. “However, I don’t think it’s a good idea to want to stay on the train forever. Passengers are supposed to sort out their own problems and get their numbers to go down to zero. Of course, I know the process for every passenger is different. Some stay for a week, some stay for months, some for years.”

Mary puffed her cheeks out, and her gaze dropped from Blanca to the flat, light purple candy rug on the floor. Was it a roll-up candy that was made flat? She didn’t know, and had no desire to eat it.

“I don’t wanna go home. Nobody likes me there,” Mary murmured.

If Mary had her way, she’d stay in the Sweets Car forever. But she was sure Blanca wouldn’t like that, since she said passengers shouldn’t stay on the train all the time. Better yet...she found herself wishing that Blanca were her mother instead of Dana. It just felt so liberating to not have someone constantly needle her about every little thing she did, point out her flaws and insecurities like it was their obligation to do so, and punish her for trying to be happy...and herself.

“Well, your journey has only just started, so you have plenty of time in the world to sort things out,” Blanca told her kindly. “Anyway, I’m sure you’re probably tired. You’d best get some sleep.”

Mary did feel her eyes start to grow heavy, and her body grew sluggish not just from fatigue acquired from walking so much, but from all the sweets she ate. “I probably should. Goodnight, Blanca!”

Blanca flashed a smile. “Goodnight, Mary.”

When Mary walked out of the living room, she got a better look at the room she’d be staying in. The walls were covered with rainbow lollipops, but they didn’t have any sticks, and the bed was little more than a giant heap of pink cotton candy that she could maneuver and manipulate however she pleased. Mary sat down on it and almost sunk right in, but she smiled, reveling at experiencing what it felt like to sleep on top of cotton candy. Candy stars lit up the night sky as Mary pulled a sheet of cotton candy over herself, and she closed her eyes, allowing herself to fall asleep.

That night, she dreamed of sweets and chocolate, of candy canes and gummy bears, of Blanca’s kindness and motherly warmth, and of the next step in her magical adventure.

The search for Mary continued on, even after Caitlin returned home once she finished her conversation with Reagan. Search parties made up of volunteers from the neighborhood lurked through the woods, calling Mary’s name as loud as possible, hoping for a response. Policemen drove through the immediate area, shining their headlights when it got dark, eyes on the lookout for anything even remotely suspicious. German shepherds kept their noses low to the ground, searching the woods for any trace of Mary’s scent, guided by their policemen owners. Dana and Todd even participated in the search as well, when it was allowed. Unfortunately, everyone came up completely empty.

Night fell quicker than usual, even by October standards. Neither Todd nor Dana were in the mood to make dinner tonight, so the former settled on ordering Chinese food. The three of them sat at the dinner table, but they barely touched their food, making no effort to even attempt to eat. The chair next to Reagan’s sat completely empty. Mary’s spot at the table. The big piece of the Summers family that was missing. Reagan squeezed her eyes shut as she finally took a bite out of some sweet and sour chicken, not bothering to slather any sauce on it.

Desperate to break the tension, Todd spoke up. “So Reagan. How was school today?” He asked. “Did you do anything fun?”

Reagan slowly shook her head. “It was normal. I...passed out flyers,” She mumbled.

Todd sighed, his shoulders hunching as he did so. “That’s good. The more people on the lookout, the better.”

All three of them knew that dinner wasn’t the same without Mary. Todd already found himself missing her smile, her infectious laughter, the fact that she always took her time eating her food, watching her beam whenever her parents made her favorites for dinner. Todd held a hand to his forehead. He hated how helpless he felt in this moment. All he wanted to do was go out there and look for her. But the search party had disbanded for the time being, and the police wouldn’t let him or Dana go searching for her afterward. As much as he understood that it was better for the police to handle it, he hated sitting around doing nothing. Seeing his family looking so morose...guilt weighed down on his heart like someone had dumped a big pile of bricks into it.

“What if she didn’t run away?” For the first time in a while, Dana spoke. Her voice was low, and it quavered, but everyone could hear her clear as day. “What if she was kidnapped? There’s no way she’d just up and leave.”

“But the detectives said there was no sign of forced entry,” Todd reminded her. The police did search the house to see if anyone had broken in the night Mary disappeared, wondering if maybe she had been kidnapped. But there was nothing indicating that someone broke in. No broken windows, no cut screens, no dents on the doors, no footprints they didn’t recognize, no strange fingerprints, nothing. It didn’t change the fact that Mary was still missing.

Knowing he needed to eat something, Todd took a bite out of some beef he ordered. His face grimaced from the weird sauce that it was packaged in, but he tolerated it. As far as he was concerned, nothing could compare to the pain of losing Mary.

“Don’t you have to go to work tonight, Dad?” Reagan asked. “Your shift at the casino starts at eight, right?”

“Oh, that,” Todd waved a dismissive hand in his daughter’s direction. “Don’t worry about it, Reg. My boss found out about what happened and he gave me the whole week off, with pay,” He explained.

Reagan flashed a small smile. “That’s good.”

Todd smiled back. It was the first time he had seen Reagan smile since before the weekend. The tension had been broken. Seeing his older daughter smile alighted his heart.

For about five seconds.

“...You shouldn’t have babied her so much.”

Both Reagan and Todd looked up to find Dana staring down at her food, having not even touched it. Reagan’s fork slipped out of her hands, clattering against her plate in her shock.

“What?” Todd spat out.

Dana gave him a hard, intense glare. “You made her vulnerable. Made her into the kind of kid that creeps prey on,” Her voice was still low, but it dripped with venom.

Ice ran over everyone’s faces. Neither Reagan nor Todd could believe what was coming out of Dana’s mouth. It was Todd’s turn to glare right back at his wife after a brief moment of stunned, heartbroken silence. “Are you saying this is somehow my fault?”

“You’re the one that kept coddling her instead of listening to the ABA directors, and now look what happened,” Dana retorted, making no attempt to hide her anger.

Reagan shrunk into her seat, knowing what was coming. Todd’s face turned red hot, and he slammed both hands on the table as he stood up from his chair, knocking some strips of beef onto the dining room floor.

“Don’t you dare do this, Dana!!” Todd shouted. “Mary wasn’t kidnapped! You know there’s no evidence supporting that! She ran away! You saw her note! And you’ve got some nerve blaming me for this when it’s likely the reason she’s gone is because of what you did to her last Friday!!”

“Mom, Dad, don’t—” Reagan sheepishly tried to stop the argument, but to no avail. Dana cut her off before she could talk more.

Dana stood up just as fast, her side ponytail almost coming undone with how swiftly she moved her head. “This never would have happened if you hadn’t undermined my attempts to get her under control!”

“You were hurting her! Can’t you see that?! Didn’t you see the cuts you left on her wrists?!” Todd shot back with just as much fervor. “Why the hell do you feel the need to make a huge deal out of everything she does?! You could have suffocated her back there, what with how you pinned her down like she was some out of control criminal!!”

“It would have worked if you hadn’t messed it all up like the little bitch you are!!” Dana shrieked right in Todd’s face.

“Oh, I'm the bitch?!” Todd broke into a sarcastic, bitter laugh. “That’s rich coming from you! Mary’s teacher told me about what happened at the meeting, about how you went off on him over petty shit!”

“How exactly is telling a teacher how to do his goddamn job petty?! You’re the one letting Mary engage in her problematic behavior and undoing all the progress I made in getting her to the level she is now!! I’m the only one actually doing shit around here to make sure we don’t become the laughingstock of the entire damn neighborhood!!”

Knowing this fight wasn’t likely going to end any time soon, Reagan took her food and ran upstairs, locking herself in her bedroom. She turned on her computer, opened her music playlist, started up a hard rock song, and turned the volume up as loud as possible. It was the only way she knew to drown out their yelling. Then again, this wasn’t the first time her parents got into fights like this, but nothing ever made them any easier to deal with. If there was one good thing about this situation, it was that Mary wasn’t here to listen to them yelling. Sure, her being gone was bad in its own right, but Reagan took some consolation in that Mary wouldn’t hear them yelling and feel horrible about it. Reagan shivered when she heard something break downstairs. Three things. A plate, maybe? She didn’t dare go downstairs to see what was broken.

The fight continued for what seemed to be an eternity, but really only went on for about ten minutes. When Reagan’s third piece of music ended, she heard her mother shout, “I’m going for a drive! Don’t wait up for me. I’m sick of never being appreciated for anything I do around this goddamn house!!”

Reagan once again grimaced when a door slammed. At least now her mother was gone. Feeling it safe to leave her room, Reagan tiptoed downstairs, returning to the kitchen to find her father squatting and putting broken cutlery into a bag. She could see his brows were deeply furrowed, and he looked so forlorn.

“Do you...want some help with that?” Reagan asked shyly, expecting a bomb to go off.

Todd looked up and flashed a tired smile. “No thanks, Reg. You’ve got homework to do, right?”

Reagan could only frown. Even after this terrible fight, her father still had it in him to try and keep it together for her. He looked like glass that was about to break, like the slightest touch would shatter him. Reagan bent down and picked up a piece of a broken plate.

“Careful. You’ll cut yourself, sweetie,” Todd advised, reaching to take it from her.

“I can handle it,” Reagan replied, sliding it into the trash can. “Mom’s wrong. This whole thing isn’t your fault, Dad. She had no right to...go off on you like that.”

Todd stood up and wrapped an arm around his older daughter, pulling her close. “Thanks. That really means a lot to me.”

With that, father and daughter finished their meal and cleaned the kitchen together. Reagan helped put the dishes away while Todd put the leftovers in the refrigerator. “Sometimes...I wonder if I’m really...doing the right thing for Mary,” Todd whimpered out of nowhere, closing the door gentler than he usually did. “But am I actually holding her back by letting her engage in her stims or accommodating her autistic needs?”

“Dad, of course you’re not holding her back,” Reagan assured him, turning on the faucet to wash off the utensils. “Mom’s the one with the problem. You love Mary for who she is, as do I. You never go out of your way to make Mary miserable or make her feel like her entire life is nothing but a burden on everybody else. You actually make her feel like everything Mary does actually means something.”

Todd took in a deep breath. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry about that. I need to get my head together. I shouldn’t be unloading on you,” He said, putting a hand to his forehead. He knew it was his job to worry about Reagan and Mary, not for Reagan to worry about him. Reagan didn’t need to be the one comforting her father. She needed to be a kid. He turned around and forced a smile. “Anyway, did you finish your homework?”

“Yes I did.”

“Alright then. How about we watch a movie for the rest of the night?” Todd suggested. “Do you have any suggestions? You’re the movie expert in this house.”

Reagan could only shrug, but she appreciated her father wanting to spend some time with her. “There is one I wanted to show you.”

When Mary woke up, she felt...surprisingly refreshed. For a second, she didn’t recognize where she was. She wasn’t in her bed, and she didn’t see any of her furniture either. Then she remembered where she was. Blanca’s house, in a train car full of candy and sweets. For once, she didn’t dread waking up, fearing that she’d have to deal with her mother. Her mother wasn’t even here. She changed out of her pajamas and into a second set of clothes she brought with her: a long sleeved, dark blue shirt with darker stars on it and beige pants. She made sure to put her other clothes back into her backpack before heading to the bathroom. When she walked out, a nice aroma caught her nostrils. It led her to the living room, and she stopped to find Blanca setting a plate of pancakes, a glass of water, and a banana onto the wafer table.

“Oh! Good morning, Mary!” Blanca greeted her warmly. “How did you sleep?”

“Really well, thanks,” Mary replied, eyeing the pancakes. They were small, but they were topped with butter and drizzled with syrup.

“I made you some pancakes for breakfast, and I added a banana too, since they’re healthier,” Blanca told her. “But if they’re not to your liking, I’m more than happy to make something else.”

“No no! It’s okay! I like pancakes and bananas!” Mary sat right down and opened the banana, wasting no time eating it. She didn’t have pancakes very often, as they weren’t necessarily something she liked to eat on a regular basis, but she liked them okay. Bananas were her preferred breakfast food, so she ate that first. She still felt some slight bloating from the sweets she ate yesterday, but it wasn’t as bad as before. Once she finished her banana, she took her time cutting a piece of the pancake and eating it.

Syrupy goodness rushed into her mouth, drowning her taste buds. Mary stopped after she swallowed it. It tasted far better than any other pancake she ever had in her entire life. The pancakes were perfectly soft and fluffy, without any burnt or hard parts, and the syrup wasn’t too strong or overwhelming. They were also warm and soft, kind of like a rabbit’s fur. Inviting but not overwhelmingly so. Mary had no idea such bliss existed in this world.

“This is...really good…” Mary muttered, slowly eating more bites.

Blanca flashed a pleased grin. “I’m so glad you like it. My daughters really loved these pancakes as well.”

Mary couldn’t help herself. She chewed on the pancakes, smiling all the while, and her hands came to life, fluttering like wings, as if words weren’t enough to simply convey just how good they were. But then she stopped. Blanca was watching her, probably wanting her to stop! Mary instinctively stopped flapping her hands, clamping them down on the couch.

“Sorry. I won’t do that anymore,” Mary whimpered, mentally scolding herself for having flapped her hands.

“Why’d you stop?” Blanca asked, tilting her head to one side. “You can keep doing that if you want.”

Did she hear right? Mary looked up. “Really? You’re not mad?”

Blanca shook her head. “If flapping your hands makes you happy, then I don’t see any reason to make you stop, so keep doing it. I don’t mind at all.”

For a second, Mary thought she was hearing things. Someone was actually okay with her flapping her hands, and not making it out to be some kind of unforgivable crime? Blanca wasn’t going to go on long rants about how Mary was making her life harder or causing her trouble because of it? Mary thought she had been transplanted in another world...technically, she was. But it didn’t make Blanca’s compliment and nonchalance any less shocking. The last time Mary had done this, her own mother pinned her to the ground, almost suffocated her, and screamed at her like she was some out of control criminal being manhandled by a policeman. Dana even said on her blog that Mary ruined everything just by being around.

Something wet trickled down Mary’s cheeks. Blanca immediately rushed to Mary’s side, her eyes shrinking with concern. “Oh my. What’s the matter, dear? There’s no need to cry,” Blanca was quick to try and soothe her, but made sure not to touch her. Mary appreciated Blanca giving her some space.

Mary wiped her eyes with her sleeve, but more tears kept coming...and she immediately realized why. “Blanca...I don’t wanna get off the train,” Mary sobbed. “Nobody wants me back home. Nobody loves me.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Blanca asked. “You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable, but I’m more than happy to listen.”

Listen...that was what Mary had always wanted from her own mother. She wanted her to listen to her. But Dana never did. Blanca was willing to do so. This was the most heavenly gift Mary could ever have asked for. Mary couldn’t keep it in anymore.

“My mom...I found out she doesn’t love me,” Mary confessed through her sobs. “She hates that I’m autistic. My brain isn’t like the other kids, and stuff is harder for me. That’s what my dad told me. But Mom hates it. She always yells at me whenever I do something...or don’t do something,” Mary continued on. “She’s always like, ‘Mary! Don’t flap your hands! Use quiet hands! People are gonna look at us weird because of you!’ ‘Mary! Stop whining! Why do you always have to cause trouble for me?!’ ‘Mary! Look at me when I talk to you! Can’t you be normal for two seconds?!’ Even when I do everything she says, she’s never happy. She wants me to just magically know stuff, and when I don’t and say I wish she told me, she gets mad and says it’s my job to figure it out. When I’m scared and don’t wanna be someplace, she makes me stay, and gets mad even when I can’t take it anymore. She always...makes me feel like...everything I do is bad, and that I absolutely have to be punished no matter what. It’s like she thinks it’ll make me normal and not...autistic! It’s all punish, punish, punish and I’m sick of it!!”

Everything seemed to spill out of Mary like a waterfall. Well, not everything, as she didn’t mention the blog, nor did she want to. Just thinking about that made bile rise in her throat, and she hated that feeling. One word bumped into the other with all that she spoke, and even through her tears, Mary felt as though a weight had been lifted off of her, knowing that Blanca wasn’t going to punish her for being sad. Indeed, Blanca listened in silence, albeit with a frown.

An arm grew out from Blanca’s body, pulling Mary close. Mary leaned into the marshmallow’s squishy chest, smiling at just how soft she felt.

“Mary, I want you to listen to me,” Blanca said, her voice gentle and soft, but Mary could hear a subtle firmness in it. But it didn’t sound like the angry firm that she was so used to hearing from Dana. “What your mother is doing to you is wrong. A mother should never demean or degrade their child constantly, nor continually punish them even for minor misdemeanors. I should know, I’ve raised twenty children throughout my five hundred years of living, and I can tell you for certain that that doesn’t work at all.”

“Wait, what?!” Mary yelped, looking right up at Blanca with wide, glassy eyes. “You’re five hundred years old?!”

Blanca flashed a grin. “I am. By magical marshmallow standards, I’m middle aged,” She replied before changing the subject back to what it was before. “Anyway...I’ve never met your mother, so I don’t know what she’s like except from what you tell me, and I can’t claim to know what her reasons are for doing what she does. But I know that she should never go out of her way to make you feel ashamed of yourself, for any reason. If flapping your hands and jumping up and down makes you happy, then keep doing it.”

That did it for Mary. She wrapped her short arms around Blanca, burying her face into her body, wishing she could just stay right here. This was what she had wanted all along, mainly from Dana. Sure, her father and sister gave her all the love she could ever want, but Mary always questioned why her mother could never do the same. More so since she saw her classmates’ mothers tell them that they loved them, showering them with hugs and kisses while respecting their wishes. Blanca did so much more for Mary in a day than Dana had ever done in her entire life.

A thought popped into Mary’s mind: Why couldn’t Blanca be her mother?

However, a part of her reasoned that she couldn’t stay in the Sweets Car forever. Both Ben and Blanca said that passengers shouldn’t stay in one car. Plus, Mary was sure she’d quickly tire of eating nothing but candy, cake, and sweets all the time. Mary sniffed and wiped the rest of her tears, releasing Blanca from her hug.

“Thank you...Blanca…”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” Blanca used a hand to smooth Mary’s hair out. “You’re more than welcome to talk to me about anything, and if you don’t feel comfortable doing so, that’s alright, too. You can tell me when you feel ready.”

Mary nodded, her smile lasting a lot longer than it usually did. “My real mom doesn’t do the stuff you do for me. She always wants me to talk or smile or do stuff even when I tell her I don’t want to. I always feel like...she wants me to be somebody else.”

“Well, you’re not somebody else,” Blanca assured. “Your mother is herself, and you are you. Only you can be the person that you want to be, and it’s up to you to see what kind of person you’ll become. You can’t ever not be autistic, and that’s okay. I’ve met a lot of passengers who came through here, and I know that your journey through the train is to help you confront your problems and become the best version of Mary Summers you can be.”

The best version of Mary Summers...she liked the sound of that.

“So...I guess I shouldn’t stay in the Sweets Car forever, huh?”

“I wouldn’t recommend it, no. But if you ever feel tired and want to rest, for any reason, you’re more than welcome to stop by.”

Mary flashed a grin. “You know what? I think I will.”

In that moment, the number on her hand glowed. She lifted her palm up, gasping as she saw the number changing. After a few seconds, it stopped, her number now 116.

“Huh? Why’d it go down?” Mary asked.

“I think I know why,” Blanca said, taking Mary’s hand into her own. “With your mother not around to make you feel miserable, you can feel confident in being yourself and doing the things that make you happy. Things that are true to your authentic self.”

Authentic? Mary raised an eyebrow. She had never heard that word before. “What does au...thentic mean?” She asked, slowly sounding out the new word she heard.

“Authentic means real, genuine, true. Not fake or copied off of something else. As real as real can be.”

Now Mary definitely liked the sound of that. If being on the train would let her be her authentic self, then she didn’t mind leaving the Sweets Car. She ran back to the bedroom, grabbed Mimi, and put her backpack on her back before returning to the living room.

“I think I’m ready to leave now. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, Blanca,” Mary told her before walking out of the house.

But she didn’t get very far before Blanca followed her outside. “Mary, wait!”

“Huh?”

“Mary...you don’t mean to say you’re going all by yourself, are you?” Blanca asked, her eyes wide like she saw a ghost.

“I kinda am all by myself,” Mary replied. “I asked a talking grape in the Green Car if he could come with me, but he couldn’t. He said he had to watch his house and make sure nobody broke into it.”

She could still feel the pepper spray Ben gave her weighing down one of the pockets in her backpack. She wondered if she’d ever have to use it. The cars she’s been to so far haven’t been very dangerous, but One-One did say that there were some dangerous cars.

“How old are you, exactly?”

“I’m nine!”

Blanca stopped to think before speaking again. “Do you know how to fight, or defend yourself?”

Mary shook her head. She never felt a need to do so. Some of her classmates took karate classes after school, but Mary didn’t see herself doing that. She was sure she’d never be able to do things like kick someone really hard or break a cinder block into pieces.

“Do you know how to use any weapons?”

“Nope.”

Blanca let out a sigh. “That certainly changes things. Mary, it is true that there are plenty of nice, safe cars like this one. But there are just as many that are dangerous. I’ve heard stories of passengers getting killed on the train.”

A shiver ran down Mary’s spine. People can die on the train? Mary gripped the straps on her backpack to curb the anxiety that pooled in her stomach. It didn’t work.

“You’re only a child, and since you said you don’t know how to fight or defend yourself, there’s a very strong possibility that you could find yourself in a bad situation and not be able to escape,” Blanca continued, her tone far more solemn this time. “And if you die on the train, it’s very likely you’ll never be able to go back home.”

As much as Mary hated to admit it, Blanca made good points. Anything could happen on this train. If there were such things as talking gingerbread cookies and balloon animals, who was to say there wouldn’t be things like dinosaurs or monsters on the train? Mary knew there was absolutely no way she’d be able to hold her own against a dinosaur or the monsters she read about in her books. As much as Mary wanted to stay on the train for as long as humanly possible, she didn’t want to die on it.

“I’m sorry, Mary. I’m not trying to scare you or dissuade you from leaving the train and getting your number down,” Blanca clarified. “I’m only trying to inform you of the train’s potential dangers, and I am concerned about your safety.”

Even with the pit in her stomach, Mary could only smile. “It’s okay! I know you’re trying to help, and I’m glad you’re being straight with me.”

“That being said…” Blanca’s eyes softened, returning to normal.

But Mary was in no way prepared for what came next.

“Would it be alright if I accompanied you on your journey?”

“Wha?!” Mary almost fell backwards, but she straightened herself to keep from falling. Still, the words that came from Blanca’s mouth were like seeing a flock of birds fly right in front of her with no warning. “You want to come with me?!”

Blanca nodded, affirming her answer.

“How come? Don’t you have to stay here and protect your home?” Mary asked. As much as she wanted to scream and jump up and down, as the idea of Blanca accompanying her was the best thing she could ever hope to have happen, she remembered Ben’s rejection and wasn’t sure if she’d be okay with Blanca leaving her home unattended.

Blanca smiled once more, waving off Mary’s concern. “There’s no need to worry. I can ask one of my neighbors to keep an eye on it. Besides, all of my children have moved out, and I am genuinely curious to see what the other train cars are like, since I rarely ever leave the Sweets Car. Plus, if we ever find ourselves in dangerous cars, I can protect you. If I’m being honest...there is something I want to do outside this car, and...if it’s alright with you, I would love to experience it with you and see your journey through to the end.”

Any reservations Mary had in letting loose completely vanished at this point. Mary gave a great big cheer as she jumped up and down, her happiness overflowing like lava from an active volcano. She couldn’t believe her luck. She was sure Blanca wouldn’t want to go with her on her magical train journey. But now, Blanca said she wanted to go with her, if only to keep her safe. Whatever the reason, Mary was completely okay with it. She grinned from ear to ear as she flung her arms around Blanca once more, with Mimi hanging off of her left hand as she did so.

“Yes!! Yes yes yes yes!! Absolutely!! I’d love for you to come with me!!” Mary bellowed happily, unable to contain her explosion of joy. “We can be train buddies! We can fight evil monsters and maybe slay dragons and stuff!”

Blanca stifled a chuckle. “I don’t know about that, but I can keep you safe. Would you like to head for the exit right now?”

“Absolutely!”

Mary took Blanca by the hand, and the two of them made their way down the peppermint cobblestone streets, eagerly anticipating the adventure ahead. Mary could just feel the renewed energy in her bones. With Blanca by her side, she didn’t feel scared at all.

Chapter Text

Although Blanca and Mary decided to set out right away, there was one thing the white marshmallow wanted to do before their journey became official. The two of them walked across the peppermint cobblestoned streets for a long time. Mary wasn’t sure how long their walk was, and her legs started to throb after a while, but she didn’t dare complain. Besides, after having dealt with Dana for so long, aching legs were the least of her problems. Finally, they stopped in front of one house, which was basically a gigantic wedding cake. Blanca sprouted an arm and knocked on the door with a fist.

“Coming!” A voice called out from inside the wedding cake house. The door opened, revealing another talking white marshmallow. Only this one was slightly shorter than Blanca by about two feet from what Mary could see. “Oh, hi Mom! How are you?”

“Good morning, Sugarbelle,” Blanca greeted her daughter, Sugarbelle, with a smile. “I’d love to stay and chat, but I can’t stay, and I was hoping I could ask you a favor.”

“Sure!” Sugarbelle exclaimed, only just now noticing Mary next to her. “Who’s this?”

Instead of answering her question outright, Blanca continued on. “I know this is on short notice, but can I ask you to check up on my house every now and again? The reason being that I’ve decided to accompany this passenger, Mary, on her journey through the train,” She explained calmly. “As you can see, she’s fairly young, and I’m concerned that she may encounter dangers on the train that she won’t be able to handle, so I’ve taken it upon myself to accompany her on her journey. At least until she’s able to leave the train.”

The three of them fell silent for a brief moment. Mary could see Sugarbelle’s smile turn into a frown, and immediately turned rigid. Was Sugarbelle sad or angry? Or was she just lost in thought? Mary couldn’t tell.

“This is a surprise. You don’t normally leave the Sweets Car,” Sugarbelle said after some brief rumination. Then her frown turned back into a smile. “But I understand. I can keep an eye on the house for you while you’re gone.”

Blanca inhaled an audible gasp, and she used both hands to take her daughter’s hand. “Thank you so much, Sugarbelle. You’re doing me a big favor. I apologize it’s on such short notice, but I just want to make sure this child is safe.”

“Do you know when you’ll come back?” Sugarbelle asked.

Blanca shook her head. “No. Passengers don’t have a set time frame for when they’re able to leave the train. They have to resolve their issues at their own pace,” Blanca explained further. “Only when their numbers go down to zero, can they go home.”

“Your mom’s really nice!” Mary chimed in on impulse.

Sugarbelle flashed a smile at her before looking back up at her mother. “She’s not the only reason you’re leaving the Sweets Car, now is it?” She inquired.

Not the only reason? Mary’s eyebrows shot up. Was there something else she wanted to do outside the Sweets Car? She looked up, seeing Blanca’s eyes tremble for just a moment. Sugarbelle noticed it as well.

“There’s no need to hide it, Mom. I know what you really want to do,” Sugarbelle said. “And I won’t stop you. I’ll check on your house every now and again. You go and have fun!” She sprouted an arm and gestured for the two of them to get going.

Blanca’s smile returned. “Thank you for understanding, Sugarbelle. I’ll return as soon as I’m able, and please pass this information on to everyone else, if you can.”

Her squishy daughter flashed a thumb’s up. “You can count on me! See ya!” With that, she closed the door.

Blanca looked down at Mary. “Well, that takes care of that. I think it’s time we set off on our journey.”

The Sweets Car turned out to be bigger than Mary had expected. She wasn’t sure how long the two of them walked, and even with Blanca sprouting a long pair of legs, it seemed like the land of sweets went on forever. But Mary didn’t mind. Just being with Blanca made her feel warm inside...and safe. Sugarbelle’s words did echo in her mind a lot of the time, and she couldn’t help but wonder: Did Blanca have ulterior motives for wanting to accompany Mary? Maybe now would be a good time to ask.

“Blanca? Sugarbelle said you wanted to do something else outside the Sweets Car,” Mary inquired. “What is it, exactly?”

The giant marshmallow stopped in her tracks, as did Mary, but she didn’t say anything right at first. Mary wondered if she said something she shouldn’t have. “Oh! Sorry! I probably shouldn’t have asked,” She was quick to apologize, afraid that she might have made her mad. Mary wished she could just instinctively know what made certain people mad so she could avoid those at all costs. But life didn’t come with those kinds of instructions.

“No no. I’m not angry,” Blanca clarified, her voice as dulcet as it always was. “But...you’re right in that there is something else I want to do while I’m with you. However...it’s not something I’m comfortable talking about. At least, not right now. But I’ll tell you when I feel I’m ready.”

“Okay then!” Satisfied with the answer, Mary decided to drop the issue. She even decided to memorize what Blanca said just now, in the hopes of using it whenever people tried to force her to talk about things she didn’t want to. She wondered why she hadn’t heard that kind of response before, filing it away in her brain for future use.

Still, she did find herself wondering just what else Blanca wanted to do outside the Sweets Car.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, the duo finally found a red door with gold handles. “Look! There’s the exit!” Mary was the first to point it out, running towards it even though her backpack weighed her down slightly.

“I’ll open it for you,” Blanca offered, walking over to the door, growing a set of arms, and using her hands to turn the handle.

Wind hit them like a ton of bricks as they made their way outside. Mary anticipated this and held her arms over her face, but Blanca winced as the duo left the train car, with the entrance shutting behind them with a clang.

“You okay, Blanca?” Mary asked.

“Yes. I’m fine,” Blanca replied, brushing some dust out of her eyes. “It’s been so many years since I’ve been outside the train. I’m afraid I’m not quite used to this part of it,” She explained.

Mary knew the feeling. If she hadn’t been to a place for a really long time, suddenly going back to it would make it feel as new as it was the first time she’d been there, complete with all sorts of textures, sensations, sights, and rules that she needed an extra minute or ten to process. Not that Dana would ever give her that. It wasn’t long before the two of them walked across the bridge and made their way to the next car. Mary opened it this time, and when they went inside, their mouths fell agape at what they saw.

This train car had...nothing in it. It was just a small white room with literally nothing inside, except for a tiny sign that said KICK THE TOAD, and the exit was just ten feet away.

“Oh wow. I thought this car would have stuff in here,” Mary said.

“Me too,” Blanca added, just as befuddled as Mary.

The two of them did take some comfort in that they didn’t have to deal with any danger or obstacles. Mary turned the handle on the exit, and they made their way to the car after that. Blanca decided to open the door this time around.

Colorful plastic tubes coiled around the area every which way, with rows upon rows of houses made in the exact same material, only they all reached as high as Mary’s shoulders. The floor was completely covered in rice, wheat, and grain, though the duo could see some fields of them growing further down. Mary looked down and saw hamsters scuttling about. One hamster carried a small bag on its back, walking on its hind legs like a person. A group of smaller hamsters crawled through a plastic tube like the ones she saw on playgrounds.

“Eeeee!” Mary couldn’t believe her eyes, and squealed out loud. “This car’s full of hamsters and they’re all so cuuuuuute!!”

Every hamster within her vicinity stopped in their tracks and turned to face the duo, their small eyes shrinking as soon as they heard Mary’s voice.

“Hello!” Mary crooned, waving her hand at them.

Instead of greeting her back, the hamsters all scurried away on all fours, taking refuge in their plastic houses. Mary’s smile faltered. This was not the reaction she expected.

“Why’d they all run away from me?” Mary asked, her voice bordering on a whimper.

“Maybe they’re not used to strangers coming onto their train,” Blanca suggested. “Or it could be because we’re bigger than them, and they may see us as threats.”

That seemed plausible. Mary was much bigger than a regular hamster, Blanca even more so. They probably thought Mary would step on them, even though she herself would never do something like that. But they didn’t know that.

“Let’s keep walking and look around,” Blanca said. “I’m sure the exit is around here somewhere.”

Mary nodded in agreement, though she did wish she could talk with at least one of the hamster denizens. They kept walking, seeing more plastic houses and tubes. There were even some houses that were just big hamster cages, complete with wheels, water bottles, and plastic igloos. Unfortunately, every single hamster they saw ran away from them as soon as they saw the duo coming towards them. Mary’s heart hurt with every group of hamsters she saw scurry into their houses like they saw a ghost. Why were they so scared?

They did come upon one group of hamsters that didn’t run away, but eyed them with fear. Mary thought now was the time to convince them she wasn’t a threat. “Hello,” Mary kneeled down and greeted them using a low voice. “Do you guys wanna be friends?”

The hamsters all exchanged concerned looks.

“I promise I won’t hurt you or step on you. That’d be cruel, and I love hamsters!” Mary added hastily, hoping that would convince them.

Unfortunately for Mary, they still didn’t respond. They kept chittering amongst themselves, and their small bodies shuddered with fright. Mary frowned, unable to comprehend why her efforts weren’t working.

“I have an idea,” Blanca said, gesturing for Mary to move back a little. Mary backed away three feet.

In that moment, Blanca’s body began to shrink. She turned smaller and smaller until she was exactly the same size as the hamsters. She even grew a set of hamster ears, a tail, and modeled her body, arms, and legs after one, so she looked like a pure white hamster, without the noticeable nose and teeth. The hamsters’ mouths fell agape at the transformation, as did Mary’s. She knew Blanca could grow arms and legs, but she had no idea she could make herself smaller.

“Please excuse us for frightening you,” Blanca began, taking the initiative this time. “We have no intention of hurting you. We were wondering if you could show us where the exit is. We promise we’re only just passing through.”

One gray hamster muttered, “That’s what they all say,” but he did finally respond. “The exit’s further down that way,” He pointed behind himself. “But you’d best make it quick. Outsiders aren’t welcome here.”

Outsiders? A weight pressed down on Mary’s chest. They really didn’t like them, all because they weren’t hamsters like them? She balled both hands into tight fists. If they said they didn’t like her, Mary knew it was pointless to try and change their mind. Still, it hurt to know that even hamsters didn’t like her just because of what she was. At the very least, they were honest about it.

“Why is that, if I may ask?” Blanca inquired as politely as possible.

Another hamster, a brown one with darker brown stripes, spoke next. “Some time ago, a group of rowdy children came barreling through here and destroyed everything left and right. We tried to fight them off, but they were too powerful. We only just managed to finally fix all the damage they left behind,” She explained. “We’re sorry to be so unwelcoming, but you must understand, we’re trying to get by and make sure this doesn’t happen again.”

So that was why. Mary felt a pang of sympathy for these hamsters. They were afraid Mary and Blanca would be just like the people that destroyed their car. Mary knew she and Blanca would never do something like that ever, but from the hard tones of their voices, she could tell they were set in their ways.

“We understand. We apologize for bothering you. Have a good day,” Blanca said, changing back into her original form and gesturing for Mary to follow her. The two of them walked away, their hearts heavier than before.

“I know they say they had to deal with bad people, but…” Mary found herself speaking her thoughts aloud, unable to keep them contained. “That doesn’t mean everybody’s like that. We would never hurt them, right? Why don’t they like us?”

Blanca exhaled a desolate sigh. “It’s true. It’s wrong to hate or judge an entire race of people or animals just because of one group’s actions. In theory, you and I both know this, and I’m sure, in the back of their minds, they understand that as well...in their own way. But fear can be very powerful and controlling. It’s not easy to face one’s personal prejudices, whether they’re the result of trauma or because someone taught them to treat others that way. Most denizens are set in their ways, and we can’t force them to change their views. All we can really do is just leave them be unless they wish to change their ways.”

There was a beat of silence as Mary struggled to process what Blanca said to her. But she appreciated that the marshmallow was being straight with her, and not trying to sugarcoat it or talk to her about it like she was stupid. She wondered if her mother was like that as well. Maybe she met an autistic person who gave her the wrong impression, and decided that all autistic people were just like that one person? Or saw something on TV that told her such? If that were the case, Mary wished she could go back home and tell her mother that she wasn’t like whoever or whatever made her think autism was bad. But knowing her mother, she probably wouldn’t listen.

A part of her was relieved when a realization hit her: Nobody on the train made an issue of her being autistic. Not even the hamsters, who made their distaste for Mary and Blanca clear as crystal. It still felt surreal. Before her mind could wander further, Mary’s shoe made contact with something round and plastic.

“Wha—?!” Something rolled underneath Mary’s leg, and she fell backward, unable to maintain her balance.

Luckily, Blanca acted fast. She swung an arm outward, catching Mary with her hand as soon as she toppled over. Thankfully for the both of them, Mary was spared the pain of falling down, even though her heart pulsated with adrenaline from the shock of it all.

“Are you alright?” Blanca asked.

Mary took some breaths before speaking. “I’m fine now. Thanks,” She stood back up and looked down at the object that almost made her fall backward.

It was a large, bright purple tube made of hard plastic. About the size of Mary’s whole arm at most.

“There it is!” An unfamiliar voice called out from the left side.

Both Mary and Blanca swiveled around, hearing hay and grass seed rustle as another hamster came trotting toward the tube. The hamster had orange and white fur, though a tuft of blonde hair on his forehead frayed outward, defying gravity. Its ears were studded with yellow, star shaped earrings, and wore a necklace with a green bead-like jewel dangling from it. The hamster ran up to the tube and began sniffing, its tiny, pink nose wrinkling as it examined the object in question.

“Glad I caught up to you! Now I just gotta—huh?” The hamster was about to pull the tube away, but he noticed Mary and Blanca, looking up and freezing in his tracks.

Mary slowly hid behind Blanca, expecting the hamster to tell them to go away like the others. Blanca simply stood firm, flashing a friendly smile towards the furry denizen, expecting nothing. Oddly enough, the hamster ran right up to them, his brown eyes sparkling with delight as he let out a loud squeal.

“Whooooooa!! Are you a denizen from another train car?! No way!!” The orange hamster immediately began scrutinizing Blanca, checking her out from all angles. “Awesome!! I’ve never seen a denizen from a train car outside of mine before! This is amazing!!”

Blanca’s body relaxed, wiggling a bit as she lowered herself to the hamster’s level. “Well, it’s certainly refreshing to see a friendly face for once.”

“You don’t want us to go away?” Mary asked, slinking out from behind Blanca. “The other hamsters don’t like us.”

It was here that the orange hamster finally took notice of Mary, jumping on one of her shoes as he scrutinized her from below. “They’re just a bunch of spineless cowards who can’t get past their prejudices. Don’t pay them any mind,” The hamster retorted in a young, boyish voice that made him sound like he was about twelve years old if he were a human. “You’re kinda smaller than the other humans that have passed through here lately.”

A smile broke out across Mary’s face. Could it be? A hamster denizen who actually liked her somewhat? This was an opportunity Mary couldn’t let slip away. She gently pushed the hamster off her shoe before getting down on her knees so she could talk to him better.

“Hiya! My name’s Mary and this is Blanca!” Mary exclaimed. “What’s yours?”

The hamster flashed a smug grin and puffed out his chest. “Well, if you really must know, kid, I go by the moniker Victorino Achilles Isidoro Liberatore VIII!”

Mary and Blanca exchanged confused looks. They didn’t expect a hamster to have such a long name. Seeing their confusion, the hamster gave a small grunt. “Or you can just call me Vic. Yeah, I know, super long name is super long. I get that a lot.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Vic,” Blanca replied, shrinking her hand to make it as small as Vic’s, extending it out for him to shake. Vic obliged, using his paw to shake Blanca’s tiny hand. “Although, I should let you know, Mary almost slipped on that tube just now.”

Vic’s eyes shrunk. “Oh, did you? So sorry about that!” He was quick to apologize. “I was trying to fix one of the pipes in my house, but this one slipped away from me.”

Unbothered now that she knew it was an accident, Mary waved a dismissive hand in his direction. “It’s okay! If you want, I can help you carry it to your house,” She offered. “I bet it’s too big for you to carry.”

“Oooh! Now that would be very much appreciated!” Vic said. “Can I ride on your shoulder while you’re at it?”

“Sure!” Mary extended her hand out. Vic wasted no time crawling up her arm and perching on her right shoulder, right in front of one of her braids. Mary thought Vic’s claws would cut into her arm, but he was surprisingly gentle. She picked up the tube and held it to her chest.

“Can you show us where your house is?” Blanca asked.

Vic pointed north. “Don’t worry, you can’t miss it. It’s that one, the biggest one in the whole car.”

The trio walked over to the house in question, which wasn’t that long of a walk. Only about fifty or so feet by human standards. Vic was right, his house towered over all the other houses the hamsters inhabited, and most of all, it looked like a regular brick house, only with some colorful plastic tubes going through parts of it. Even the door was surprisingly human sized, but the knob was right at the bottom. Vic leaped off Mary’s shoulder and turned the knob, which was just low enough for him to use.

“Come on in! It’s not often I get visitors,” Vic said before rushing inside.

The interior of Vic’s house was just as amazing as the exterior. For one, the walls were the same as the outside, all red bricks, and there were shelves upon shelves full of books. Books filled the shelves from top to bottom, with many of them being far bigger than Vic. Only one area didn’t have them, and that was because a hamster wheel was nestled in the far left corner. A few knick-knacks Mary couldn’t put a name to were scattered about the house, and a wooden coffee table that was as long as her had piles of paper on it that threatened to topple over. She also saw a rectangular bed made out of wheat clippings and shredded paper, held together by a wooden frame.

“Your house isn’t anything like the other ones here,” Mary noted. Vic’s house almost looked like a regular house on the inside.

“Yep, and it’s entirely by my own design!” Vic exclaimed as he hopped onto his coffee table. “Well, I designed it, but had the conductor send his...Steward thing...to build it for me.”

“How’d you get all these books?” Blanca inquired, using one hand to pull out one book in particular. The cover showed a human heart, and the book was titled Anatomy of the Human Body , rendered in gold lettering. “They’re so big, I honestly doubt you could carry them all in here all by yourself,” She noted, more out of concern than anything.

“You’d be surprised at how many humans come here that just leave stuff behind,” Vic noted as he sorted through some papers. “They often either drop stuff or just give them to me because they don’t want to deal with them. Anything I can’t drag to my house, I ask the other hamsters to help...though they don’t particularly like it. Or me,” Vic’s tone adopted a bitter undercurrent.

Mary’s ears perked up at the last sentence. Was he implying the other hamsters didn’t like him? She thought the hamsters here only disliked humans. She kneeled down at the coffee table and put the plastic tube down before speaking. “The other hamsters don’t like you?” She asked.

Vic ducked his head, biting the bottom of his lip. “As much as I hate to admit it, yeah. I’m kind of an outcast here. I’m the only hamster who actually wants to go explore the train and learn about the passengers,” He explained curtly as he sorted through the rest of the pile of papers on his left. “Hamsters are naturally very timid and fearful, preferring safety and security over taking risks, facing danger, and learning about the unknown. Me, though?” Vic slapped his chest with one paw. “I want more than anything to get the hell out of here and explore the train beyond this car! Why do you think I have so much stuff humans left behind?”

The orange hamster spread his arms akimbo, marveling at the collection of books and items he amassed. “All of this is the result of years of collecting and studying! I want to learn as much as I can about anything and everything!” He proclaimed. “In fact, my family and I are the only hamsters in this entire train, maybe even the world, that know how to read and write and have extensive knowledge of the human world!”

As enthusiastic as he was, he immediately deflated soon after. “Unfortunately, I can’t exactly leave the Hamster Car.”

“Why not?” Blanca asked, but put a hand on her mouth soon afterward, immediately regretting it.

Paying it no mind, Vic answered her question. “Uh, hello? Have you seen how tiny I am and how big those train doors are? I can’t exactly reach them, and even if I could, I’m not strong enough or big enough to turn the knob!”

Understandable enough. Size was obviously the main problem. Mary and Blanca could go through the train doors just fine since they were naturally bigger and stronger. Still, Mary found herself smiling, remembering how enthusiastic Vic was about sharing his knowledge of humans from everything he collected throughout the years. It reminded her of how Mary wanted to go on and on about her favorite shows, books, and games, and about animals. Hearing how his fellow hamster kin shunned him for his interests and bravery only solidified Mary’s desire to befriend him. He knew what it was like to feel ostracized and unfairly judged over something that didn’t need to be made into a big deal. What was wrong with wanting to see the world? If Vic wanted to study humans and leave the train, why not let him?

“Besides, the other hamsters don’t like the idea of me leaving the train car,” Vic said before adopting an intentionally nasally tone. “ ‘Oh, Vic! Why would you want to leave the hamster car?! After what those hellions did to it last time, you actually want to learn more about humans?! What’s wrong with you?! This is where you belong! You’ve got some nerve acting like you’re so much better than us!’ It’s the same old crap and guilt-trips every time I even so much as mention it,” Vic imitated his hamster kin before extending an index finger. “Just because they have their reasons for hating people and not wanting to leave the car doesn’t give them the right to shame me or dictate how I want to live my life!”

A smile broke out across Mary’s face as she listened to Vic’s woes. He really understood! Why did he have to be made to feel bad about his interests just because the rest of his kin had one bad experience with a few people? For rodents who claimed Vic was the one acting like he was better than them, it seemed more like the other hamsters were the ones acting like they were better than Vic just because they preferred safety and security over facing their fears. Granted, Mary knew there was nothing inherently wrong with preferring to be safe and away from danger. If Mary had her way, she’d stay in her bedroom forever. But she knew that just because she herself wasn’t a huge fan of dangerous adventures, it didn’t give her the right to stop anyone else from doing what they wanted to do. Her father told her such. In fact, she remembered one time, when she was eight, she wanted to try out horse riding at a local fair they went to. Her mother was convinced she’d never be able to handle it and did everything she could to dissuade her from even attempting it, even for a short run, convinced Mary would either throw a fit or fall right off even with supervision. 

Her father actually let her ride the horse. “Why not let her give it a try?” He had said. “She wants to learn something new. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Although reluctant, Dana relented, and not only did Mary enjoy it, Dana’s worries were unfounded.

Of course, there was one dark spot on that particular memory: Even after Mary proved she could handle riding a pony at a fair, her mother never smiled at her or even told her she was proud of her. She just insisted they move on to the next exhibit, and Mary distinctly remembered seeing other parents hug their kids and tell them they were proud of them at that very same horse ride.

Back then, Mary thought her mother was just in a bad mood. Now that she knew about that awful blog, Mary knew exactly why her mother never once praised any of her accomplishments or appreciated the gifts she got for her.

She wondered if the hamsters who shunned Vic felt the same way.

“That really stinks,” Mary told him, her small voice resolute. “It’s okay if they don’t like humans, but why make you feel bad about wanting to learn about them?”

Vic snapped his fingers. “Exactly! So glad somebody gets it!” He exclaimed.

There was one thing that was on Mary’s mind. “Hey Vic. You said other people came through the car, right?” Mary asked. “Did they ever ask you to come with them, or you ask to go with them?”

It took all but seconds for Vic to deflate once more, and he shook his head grimly. “Sadly, no. I asked plenty of people, but oftentimes they were in a rush, so I couldn’t get two words out. Most of the ones I did ask were either terrified of rodents, or said that having a cute hamster around would hurt their image, which I think is bullocks,” He replied. “I mean, if they don’t want me around, why bother?”

Good point, but Mary found it utterly sad. Every opportunity he tried to take to leave the hamster car was out of his reach, like a door slamming shut right in front of his face. There had to be some kind of solution to this problem. Vic didn’t deserve to be stuck in a car where he wasn’t wanted. He deserved to go out and fulfill his dreams.

A light bulb flashed in her head. There was a solution to the problem, and she wasted no time proposing it.

“I have an idea!” She found herself shouting without meaning to, but she couldn’t contain it any longer. “Vic, would you like to come with me and Blanca?”

Vic’s mouth fell agape, and she could see his two large front teeth. “Wha—?!”

“Please, Blanca? Can he come with us?” Mary immediately approached Blanca and pleaded with her. “He’s so lonely here, and he deserves to leave the hamster car and explore the train!”

Although Mary had a feeling that Blanca would approve of the idea, she still had her doubts. She was so used to all of her opinions and ideas getting rejected—Usually by her mother—that she still felt like she had to watch her step and go out of her way to make her case on anything she said, did, or wanted. Thankfully, it took no time at all for Blanca to make her decision.

“I don’t see why not. I bet he’d make good company for us,” Blanca agreed. “Vic? Would you like to accompany us? We’d be very happy to have you.”

For a brief moment, all was silent. Vic was rendered completely and utterly speechless. He did find his voice after a bit, and began jumping up and down, cheering and whooping as loud as he could. “WOOHOO!! FINALLY!! I can get the hell outta this place!! Oh! I need to pack first!” He stopped jumping and held out his index finger. “I need a minute to get some stuff together!”

“Would you like some help?” Blanca proposed.

“Actually…” Vic took a brief moment to ruminate before nodding. “Sure!”

Vic wanted to bring a backpack with him, and had Blanca help stuff some books and some other knick-knacks inside. It was slightly smaller than Mary’s backpack, but far bigger than the hamster could ever hope to carry on his back. Blanca offered to carry it for him, as she was strong enough and flexible enough to handle it, to which Vic agreed. Mary couldn’t help but jump up and down, flapping her hands in an attempt to push the leftover joy out. The thought of traveling with not only a talking marshmallow, but a talking hamster, one of her favorite animals, was so exciting. What other fun, magical possibilities did this train have? She couldn’t wait to find out.

“Hey Vic! Do you want to ride on my shoulder?” Mary asked, kneeling down to extend her arm out for him to climb. “I’ve always wanted to have a cute animal ride on my shoulder!”

“Sure thing!” Vic didn’t hesitate, scurrying right up Mary’s arm and making himself at home on her right backpack strap. Mary did wince a little, as Vic’s claws bit into her skin just a little bit, but it didn’t hurt. At least, not nearly as bad as when Dana pinned her down at the bookstore and cut her wrists with her fingernails.

With that, the duo was now a trio, and they exited Vic’s house with renewed zeal in their hearts. “Ooh! Now there’s three of us! We’re like the Three Musketeers now!” Mary exclaimed out of nowhere.

“Wait,” Vic’s mouth twitched as he turned his head towards Mary with wide eyes. “You actually read that book?!”

“Huh?” Now it was Mary’s turn to be flummoxed. “No. I’m talking about a cartoon my big sister and I watched once.”

Blanca put a gentle hand on Mary’s shoulder. “Well, it’s true that we’re a trio now, so whatever the case, we’d best get going,” She advised with her usual bright smile. “I’m sure we’re in for plenty of adventures.”

“You can count me in for sure, Marshmallow Lady!” Vic exclaimed, raising his hand as though he were in school.

“Hey! Her name’s Blanca!” Mary scolded, scandalized that Vic would refer to her as just Marshmallow Lady.

Of course, Blanca didn’t pay it any mind, and the three of them walked through the rest of the Hamster Car until they made it to the exit. Thankfully, it wasn’t too far of a walk for Mary and Blanca, only about fifty or so feet. Mary took the liberty of turning the door handle. As soon as they walked out into the wasteland, Vic’s mouth dropped open in awe of what lay out before him.

“Whooooaaaa...so this is what they call the Wasteland...hey Mary. Walk over to those railings, would ya?” Vic said, pointing towards the metal railing. “I want to get a closer look.”

Mary obliged, taking care not to walk too fast, lest Vic fall off. Thankfully he didn’t, and he took a minute to process the new scene, smells, and sights before him. “I’ve heard stories of this place before. This is my first time ever seeing it in person,” Vic mused, completely mesmerized.

“We gotta be careful though,” Mary advised. “Someone said giant bug creatures called Ghoms fly around here, and they eat people.”

“Oh, I’ve heard the stories. No need to tell me twice,” Vic said, gesturing for them to cross the bridge.

Although the scenery outside the train was barren, without any trace of natural life, Mary found herself smiling. She and Blanca made a new friend and were helping him fulfill his wish! Never before had she ever felt so proud, and the trio crossed the bridge, excited to see what new adventures awaited them.

Frigid winter air chafed at Reagan’s red cheeks as she stapled another missing person’s poster on a telephone pole. It showed a picture of Mary, smiling and holding Mimi in her arms. Unwilling tears blinded Reagan’s vision as the clicking of the stapler rang in her ears, doing nothing to overpower her increasing heartbeat. This was just one of many posters she photocopied at a store she and her dad went to not long after she got home from school. The more people who knew to look out for Mary, should she reappear, the higher her chances of being found would be. The poster listed everything about Mary: her hair color, eye color, home address, age, height, weight, the date she went missing, various phone numbers, and some details about her autism diagnosis and what to do and not do when approaching her.

Blood pulsed in her ears, and fatigue slowly got the better of Reagan. She rested her head against the poster she just put up, inhaling shaky breaths. It had already been several days since Mary went missing, and although Reagan occupied herself with passing out posters and putting them every place she could, the worry gnawed at her endlessly. Questions without answers swam through her mind, like a shark closing in on its prey. Where was Mary? Was she okay? Was she hurt? As much as she didn’t want to, it was hard not to picture her lost and alone, frightened and vulnerable in some dangerous place, like deep in the woods or kidnapped by some creep.

“Reg!” A familiar voice called out to her, along with the light ringing of a bike bell. Reagan turned around to find a boy behind her, with short, dark hair, olive skin, brown eyes, and wearing a blue sweater, black jeans, tall brown army boots, and a white scarf around his neck. His bike was a bright lime green, bright enough to be seen even in the dead of night, though right now it was the late afternoon.

“Hey, Oliver,” Reagan replied, her voice low and wooden. As nice as it was to see her boyfriend, she didn’t smile as he rang his bike bell to get her attention. Usually, she always did so whenever he rang his bell.

“I put up a ton of posters down that side of town,” He told her, pointing east. “How are you doing on your end?”

“Good. I managed to convince a bunch of people to take these,” Reagan huffed, hobbling over to the basket on her bike.

Oliver’s eyebrows furrowed as he watched Reagan pull more posters out of the basket. “You should probably head back home and rest. You’ve done enough today, and I’m sure your dad’s probably worried.”

“No. I can’t,” Reagan insisted, running to a big tree nearby. “We need to pass out as many of these as possible. Mary’s life depends on it! If we don’t—!” Oliver stood up from his bike and ran over to put a hand on Reagan’s, cutting her off.

“Hey. Don’t push yourself so hard, Reg,” Oliver advised. “You’ve already done so much.”

It was here that the dam finally broke. Tears spilled out from Reagan’s eyes as she sat down at the edge of the street. She quietly cried into her hands. Oliver sat down next to her, letting her cry it out.

“No I haven’t. I know I’m partly at fault for why she’s gone,” Reagan whimpered, her warm tears stinging her frigid cheeks. She paid the cold October air no heed. “If I had just put my foot down and told Mom to just lay off her, none of this would have happened!”

Oliver wrapped his hand around Reagan and pulled her close, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. “Don’t blame yourself. I’m sure there wasn’t much you could do,” He told her. “Besides, the police are still searching. They haven’t given up on her, and we won’t either.”

“I know...but I’m so scared, Oliver…” Reagan wiped her tears with her sleeve, but it barely did much. “I’m so scared. Mary’s out there, all alone and possibly in danger...I can’t imagine what she must be going through…”

Other than Reagan’s crying, the two of them were silent. Oliver let his girlfriend have a good cry for a few minutes. Gradually, Reagan’s sobs died down, and her glasses fogged up, though she barely paid them any heed.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly happened before she ran away?” Oliver asked. “I know when you texted me on Saturday, you mentioned stuff on your end wasn’t okay.”

Reagan gasped a little as she tried to compose herself. She did remember texting him just before finding out Mary went missing. It occurred to her right then that she hadn’t told him about Dana’s outburst in the bookstore. Maybe now was as good a time as any to explain.

“Well...last Friday, we all went to Barnes and Noble. It was supposed to be a fun little shopping trip for all of us,” Reagan put bitter emphasis on the word supposed as she spoke. “But Mom saw Mary stimming and she just went nuts. She started pinning Mary down to the floor and screaming in her face and making Mary out to be some violent criminal. Dad and I tried to calm her down—Mom, I mean—but she just refused to budge and kept scaring Mary. She was literally making a huge scene out of absolutely nothing, even though she’s constantly claiming that Mary is the one who does that, which is just not true.”

Just thinking about that incident made Reagan taste bile in the back of her throat. “I mean, it’s not even the first time she’s done that to Mary, and frankly, I’m getting sick of it,” Reagan hissed. “She didn’t used to be so obsessive and high strung, but ever since Mary was first diagnosed, it’s all Mom ever thinks or talks about anymore. It’s like she’s on a personal mission to make Mary...well, not autistic! And we all know that’s not possible! She constantly makes a huge deal out of everything Mary does or doesn’t do and keeps signing her up for all these...questionable treatments and therapies that are really glorified scams, and I know for a fact that Mary’s sick of it, too.”

“Your mom sounds like a real piece of work,” Oliver mused, though he personally thought that was an understatement.

“I know, right? Mom needs to just get over it already,” Reagan pushed the words out like they were poison, biting the tip of her thumb right afterward.

Another moment of silence, then Oliver’s eyes shrunk. Reagan looked up, noticing the sudden change in her boyfriend’s expression.

“Uhh...what’s wrong?” She asked sheepishly.

“This...is probably going to sound really bad,” Oliver began, his voice shaking a bit. “But...do you think, maybe...I dunno...your mom had something to do with Mary’s disappearance?”

It was easy for Reagan to catch the implications behind her boyfriend’s question. “Do you mean, like...Mom kidnapping her or hiring someone to kidnap her and hide her somewhere?”

Oliver ran a hand through his hair, embarrassed by the words that left his mouth. “Sorry, that sounds cruel. I shouldn’t have said that. I watch way too many crime shows,” Oliver said.

“It’s okay. I’m not mad,” Reagan was quick to reassure him. “I mean, I know Mom’s kind of overzealous and freaks out over every little thing, but I know for a fact she would never want Mary dead or anything.”

Do you, though? A voice in her head asked, dripping with venom. Doubts began to seep into Reagan’s mind. Would her mother be the kind of person to intentionally hurt her daughter, kidnap her, or outright abandon her someplace? As much as Reagan wanted to believe otherwise...the possibility was there. But there wasn’t much in the way of evidence supporting anything like that. The police would have taken Dana to the police station if they had, at the very least for questioning.

“Come on. I’ll take you back home. Don’t want your dad getting worried,” Oliver suggested, standing up and extending a hand out.

Reagan flashed an unsure smile and took his hand. “Thanks. You have no idea how big a help you’ve been.”

“No prob. We’ll get through this, and we’ll find her.”

Reagan nodded in agreement. As tired as she was now, she was not going to give up on her little sister.

Things weren’t much better back at the Summers house. While Reagan was out, Todd did everything he could to keep himself busy. Passing out his own piles of flyers every place he went to, cleaning every corner of the house, asking the police if they had any leads, and so on. But no matter what he did, the stark emptiness of the house hit him like a train to the face. The house seemed so much quieter without Mary around. Every morning, he woke up expecting to hear her voice calling out to him, “Daddy!” just like she always did.

Yawning, he drains the coffee pot, pouring it into a dark brown mug he had for several years, dousing it in more milk than was appropriate. Drinking it at the dining room table filled him with warmth and kept him awake after many sleepless nights, but it failed to take him away from the current reality. A reality where his beloved youngest daughter wasn’t by his side. Wasn’t safe in the house where he and his wife raised her. He sat in silence, lost in thought. Dana was at her clerical job at the city hall, which was only a short drive from the house. In all honesty, he was glad for the silence. He really didn’t want to deal with Dana right now. Not after the heated argument they had the night before.

A knock at the door pulled him from his troubled thoughts. Who could that be? He didn’t normally have visitors at around this time. The mailman always came at around four in the afternoon, but never knocked on his door.

“Coming!” Todd hastily stood up, leaving his unfinished mug of coffee on the table, running to answer the door.

He opened it, and a person he didn’t recognize stood at the entrance. A slightly heavy set woman with neat red hair cascading down her shoulders met his eyes, and in her hands was a tightly wrapped white plastic bag. She wore a thick, purple sweater, a long, billowing black skirt, and subtle pink lipstick made her lips glisten under the sunlight.

“Hello. Mr. Summers?” The woman immediately greeted him.

“Uh...yes. How can I help you?” Todd wasn’t quite sure what to make of this, but thought it’d be rude to turn her away.

“Sorry to drop in on you so suddenly. I...heard about...what happened to Mary, and I thought...I’d stop by,” The woman explained, unsure of how to put her intentions into words. “Oh, you probably don’t know me. I’m Edith Kesserling. My son goes to school with your daughter.”

Kesserling...the name certainly was familiar, if not for the best of reasons. Still, Edith seemed nice enough so far.

“Would you like to come in? I can make some coffee for you,” Todd said, gesturing for her to come inside.

“Sure. Thank you.”

Edith walked inside and sat at the dining room table while Todd poured another cup. He hadn’t intended to make so much of it, but now he had an excuse to get rid of the excess. Maybe it was a good thing Edith dropped by. Todd handed her a full mug, sitting down as he did so, but she didn’t touch it.

“I brought you some apple pie that I baked the other day,” Edith passed the plastic bag to him. “I know this isn’t much, but…”

“No, it’s okay. I appreciate it. Thank you,” Todd smiled sheepishly as he slid the package closer to himself. “I don’t think you and I have met before. Exactly how did you know where I live?”

“Your home address is listed on the missing person’s posters that have been all over town,” Edith clarified.

“Oh. Right,” Todd mentally chastised himself for forgetting that detail, more so that he was the one who insisted that it be listed, should someone find Mary and take her directly home. That was all it took for the atmosphere around them to turn awkward.

At least, until Edith broke the silence. “I know, it’s odd that I’m dropping in on you like this. The reason is that...I came here…” Edith paused for another moment, forcing herself to continue. “I...I came here to apologize.”

Todd paused as he lifted his unfinished coffee cup. This was not what he expected her to say. “Apologize? What do you mean? You haven’t done anything to me.”

“What I mean is…” Edith stammered. “Mr. Bryant has informed me that my son Greg has been bullying Mary constantly, and for a long time. I’ve been trying to curb his problematic behavior every way I could, but…” Edith heaved a big, defeated sigh. “I can’t deny that it hasn’t been working. I even overheard him say that he’s happy that Mary is gone,” She locked eyes onto Todd. “The poster said that Mary ran away, correct?”

Todd nodded.

“I’m worried that...Greg might have been the reason she ran away,” Edith said, her voice breaking just a bit. “I want you to know that if Greg somehow contributed to her disappearance in any way, I’m deeply sorry for both my son’s actions and for my own part in it as well, and will do everything in my power to discipline him to the best of my abilities.”

Nothing she said made any sense. Edith believed her son was responsible for Mary’s disappearance? Todd put down his coffee. This needed to be cleared up right now. “No no, Edith. Don’t apologize. You and your son are absolutely not the reason Mary disappeared. Trust me on this one,” Todd reassured her hastily. “I appreciate your contrition, and I am aware of your son’s actions, but don’t blame yourself for what happened.”

Edith gave another sigh, this time of relief. “Oh, that’s a relief. I really was worried. Of course, there’s no excusing what Greg has said about and done to your daughter, so rest assured, I’ll see to it that he takes responsibility.”

“Thank you for your kindness,” Todd said before taking a sip of his coffee.

“Of course, I’m more than happy to assist you in any way that I can,” Edith added. “If there’s anything you need, anything at all, even if you want to just talk to someone, don’t ever hesitate to let me know,” She opened her black purse, pulled out a pen and a small notepad, jotted down a phone number, and slid it to him. “Here’s my phone number.”

Todd took the paper into his hands with a sad smile. “You don’t need to go out of your way like this, but I really do appreciate it nonetheless.”

Edith frowned. “I can’t imagine what you and your family have been going through. I’m sure you’re worried out of your wits.”

Todd’s forehead began to throb, and he rubbed it with his fingers, to no avail. “Understatement of the millennium. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in days,” He explained. “I have nightmares that Mary might have gotten hurt or kidnapped or...worse…”

Another brief silence followed. Todd couldn’t remember the last time he opened his heart to someone like this. He used to be able to talk to Dana about anything, from his worries to the things that made him happy, and she would do the same. But as the years passed, they seemed to drift apart.

“By the way...there is something else I’d like to discuss with you, if that’s alright,” Edith said.

“Sure. Go ahead.”

Edith looked around the dining room for a brief minute before speaking, as if she wanted to make sure nobody else was here. “I apologize if this is embarrassing to mention...but last Friday, my daughter and I saw you and your family at the bookstore. We happened to see...that incident.”

“Oh. That,” Todd shook his head. “Sorry you had to see that. I swear, that’s not how we normally are.”

“No no. I understand,” Edith waved a hand at him. “But...I want to ask...does your wife...always treat your daughter like that?”

Todd raised his eyebrows. When did this conversation start swerving towards Dana? Why was she even asking about her? He could tell she wasn’t trying to be malicious or anything, but he felt a pit in his stomach when she brought up the incident from Friday. It didn’t help that...she wasn’t exactly wrong.

“Unfortunately...it has become more common lately,” Todd replied, averting his gaze. The tip of his finger circled the rim of his mug, and he barely registered the aroma of the coffee anymore. “Dana has always struggled with accepting Mary as being autistic. She seems to be convinced that she absolutely has to cure Mary no matter what, like she’s somehow a problem that needs to be fixed, even though there is no cure for autism. It’s all she ever thinks or talks about anymore, and she’s always cared way too much about what other people think of her. I’ve tried everything I can to convince her to change her way of thinking and treatment of Mary, but it’s all fallen on deaf ears.”

The chelation therapy pamphlet came back to mind, and Todd shuddered at the thought. He had done some research on that after Dana tried to bring it up and was appalled by what he saw. There were several instances where autistic children died after receiving that treatment, and found several articles confirming that there was no evidence that it could ever actually cure autism, not that anything could ever really do so. Just the idea of putting Mary through something that could potentially kill her...Todd couldn’t bear the thought.

“Well...that certainly explains a lot,” Edith chimed in. “I’ve noticed some other really worrying things as well, and I thought...I should tell you.”

Worrying things? “Like what?” Todd asked.

“Do you remember two years ago, when the school had all the kids go on the field trip to the Carnegie Science Center?” Edith said.

Todd nodded. “Yes, I remember that. Mary really liked it, and talked about it for days. She really loved the miniature railroad and village display,” He replied. “Oh yeah, Dana chaperoned that.”

“I was one of the mothers who volunteered to chaperone the kids as well, in case of emergency and to make sure Greg didn’t pick on the other kids,” Edith elaborated. “There were some other parents there as well, and...I noticed a lot of things while I was there.”

Edith went on to tell Todd about most, if not all, of the things Dana did while she was there. All throughout the entire trip through the science center, Dana never seemed to let Mary out of her sight. Not even while teachers or attendants were there. She always insisted on staying right by Mary’s side, even when she had to go to the bathroom, practically hovering over her and breathing down her neck. Even when teachers and aides offered to watch Mary for a bit and give Dana a break, the latter insisted on staying, like she thought the teachers wouldn’t be able to handle her by themselves. Not only that, whenever Mary asked her mother to do something with her, like put their faces in cardboard cutouts and get their pictures taken, Dana’s answer was always no. She wouldn’t even let Mary participate in the hands-on exhibits, even when the attendants encouraged it. “If I don’t rein her in, she’ll break everything,” Dana had said. Edith couldn’t quite believe it, because all throughout the trip, Mary never once touched anything she wasn’t supposed to and was always careful not to break anything. If anything, Edith was more concerned about Greg breaking things, since he could be rough with his toys and games.

But those weren’t the most troubling things. One of the teachers managed to convince Dana to let Mary participate in a small contest that was being held at the center at the time. Mary somehow managed to win, and she won a pack of candy bars. Mary was so happy she kept jumping up and down, squealing with joy, which was typical for any child, really, and nobody paid it any mind. However, Dana kept insisting that Mary keep her voice down. “You’re bothering the teachers and the other students! When are you ever going to learn to use your indoor voice?!” Edith heard Dana say to her. Nobody could understand what the big deal was. More than that, not once did they ever see Dana smile at her or even say she was proud of her. She never even praised her for any of the good things she did while on the trip. Edith made it a point to tell Mary herself that she was proud of her for winning the contest and for sharing most of the candy bars with her friends, because it was good to praise a child for being generous and for being a good sport. If a child was genuinely happy and proud of something, why not share in their happiness? Later, when the kids had lunch, Mary managed to break away from Dana and get some food for herself. Edith saw Greg go after Mary and knock her lunch tray out of her hands, and was quick to scold her son for his bullying.

“But it was what Dana did that really threw me for a loop,” Edith continued on. “Mary was obviously upset, Mr. Bryant was comforting her, and I tried to make Greg apologize. But when Dana came over...ugh, just thinking about this makes me cringe.”

Todd raised both eyebrows, and his eyes shrunk more and more with everything Edith had told him so far. “What did she do?”

“I don’t know why, but for some reason she got it into her head that Mary was acting out,” Edith explained. “She took Mary away from the cafeteria, practically dragged her to the bathroom, and started yelling at her. Caitlin overheard what was going on and told me about it. Ugh, the things I heard her say to poor Mary are just…”

Todd could only blink helplessly, unable to process what Edith was telling him. “What did she say?” He asked, his voice hardening.

Edith took a minute to breathe before continuing. “I heard her say “I know you were giving that boy a hard time! Don’t you dare lie to me!! I saw you throw your tray at him!! Do you have any idea how much you embarrassed me back there?! People will think I can’t even manage my own daughter!! Why do you always have to make everything so difficult for me?!” She raised her hand at her like she was about to slap her. I stepped right in and stopped her. I don’t know why she thinks Mary threw her lunch tray, because I saw Greg knock it out of her hands with my own eyes. I even told her such. I said to her, “Dana, calm down. Mary’s not the one at fault here, and you’re scaring her. She needs you to support her and be there for her. Why are you acting like she’s some kind of criminal?” Then she said to me, “You’d best stay out of my personal business. I’m trying to get her under control. I’m the only one who can.” Mr. Bryant did inform me in advance that Mary’s autistic, and having raised an autistic child myself, I knew for sure Mary wasn’t acting out in any way.

“So then I said, “Dana. Do you really think this is what Mary needs right now? I’ve raised an autistic child myself, and I can tell you plainly that your yelling at her isn’t going to solve anything. I don’t know why you’re convinced she’s acting out, but she isn’t,” I even asked her why she was being so hostile with her and for the entire trip. She looked at me with this...death glare and said, “I don’t know what kind of rose-tinted world you live in, but guess what? This is the reality I have to live every single day. Neverending fights, struggles, and disgrace. You don’t get to come in here and tell me how to parent my child. You don’t have to go through the struggles I go through on a regular basis. I have to fight Mary and her autism all the time. Why don’t you put yourself in my shoes for once and THEN talk to me about what’s right for her!” I even tried to give her business cards for some great autism programs and therapists that really helped Lianna—my daughter—but she just brushed me off like I was some scam artist trying to con her out of money.”

For a moment, Todd was speechless. He managed to find his voice soon after, and all that came out were weak croaks. “I...I never knew. Dana never told me any of this…” The tale Edith told hit him like a train to the face. As much as he didn’t want to believe it, he wouldn’t put it past Dana if she actually did do all those things. Not even Mary mentioned any of this.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t,” Edith chimed in, taking a second to sip her coffee. “I told Mr. Bryant about it right afterward, and he didn’t waste any time comforting Mary. I don’t know if he reported the incident or not, as everyone was focused on making the rest of the trip fun for the kids and keeping them happy. Maybe he waited until after the trip. I’m not sure. But...to be honest, I often questioned what I saw. I thought it was just a one-time thing. Or maybe it looked and sounded worse than it actually was. But then Lianna and I saw you guys at the bookstore, and...well...let’s just say it opened my eyes.”

Another silence. Todd balled his hands into fists, his heart a volcano threatening to erupt at any moment. How and why would Dana do all of that to Mary? This was far worse than he ever could have expected, not to mention that the principal or the teachers never informed him of what had happened. Or maybe they tried to and Dana deliberately kept them from doing so somehow. He wouldn’t put it past her if she did. She always did want to handle everything herself even when she often couldn’t. He knew one thing for sure: The second Dana came home from work tonight, he was going to have some choice words with her.

“I’m sorry, Todd,” Edith put a hand on one of Todd’s trembling fists. “I’m not trying to talk trash about your wife or make up lies or anything. That’s not my intention at all. After what’s been happening lately, the bookstore incident and finding out Mary went missing...I thought you had a right to know about what your wife did. I wasn’t sure if that had anything to do with it, but...I couldn’t keep it inside anymore. I have to do the right thing.”

Todd wiped a stray tear from his face, flashing an almost broken smile. “Thank you, Edith. I am sad to hear about what happened at the Science Center...but I appreciate you informing me about it. Thank you for...being an ally to Mary. This has been...very enlightening.”

Edith flashed her own smile. “I’m just happy to get it off my chest. I hate to add to your troubles—”

“No no. Not at all,” Todd was quick to cut her off. “I’m glad you told me all of this. I believe you. To be honest...Dana’s whole attitude towards the recent incident...and Mary going missing has really pushed me past my limits,” His mind went back to last night’s verbal altercation. Even now, Dana still couldn’t see that her methods only made things worse for not just Mary, but for everyone. If Dana was unnecessarily hard on Mary during a school field trip, what else did she do to her? How many other incidents were there that he didn’t know about? Did this have to do with why Mary ran away?

“I can imagine,” Edith said.

With that out of the way, the two of them talked for another half an hour. Before long, Reagan had returned, saying a quick hi to Edith before going upstairs to do her homework. When the clock hit 5:30 PM, Edith decided to leave, not wanting to overstay her welcome. She said goodbye to Todd and was about to leave the Summers house, but stopped right at the entrance.

“Oh! That reminds me,” Edith swiveled around to get Todd in her field of vision. “I’ve been thinking, and...in the event that Mary is found, would you be okay with arranging for her to meet my daughter?” She suggested. “They’re both on the spectrum, and Lianna is a big fan of anime, manga, and old classic books just like Mary is. I thought maybe...Mary could benefit from having a friend who is similar to herself. I learned that autistic people can really benefit from having friends who are also neuroatypical. A support network is very important...and it’d be a good way to teach them that it’s okay for them to be themselves.”

Mary and Edith’s daughter being friends. From what Edith told him, Lianna was similar to Mary in a lot of ways even though she was several years older. Maybe, if Mary turned up safe, she would like to have a friend who was also autistic. Of course, it wasn’t necessarily a guarantee, and for all he knew, they might choose not to be friends for whatever reason. But...the idea did sound nice, and Mary could really use someone like Edith and Lianna in her corner. Plus, this needed to be Mary’s choice.

“If she comes back, I’ll ask her about it,” Todd murmured. “But...I think she’d like that a lot.”

Chapter Text

“Wheeeee!!” Mary and Vic squealed with delight as she hopped from jellyfish to jellyfish, marveling at how squishy their heads were. Vic remained on Mary’s shoulder, as the jellyfish were so big, he was sure that if he tried to jump from one head to another, he’d fall and not be able to reach them since his size limited his reach. More than that, the luminescent jellyfish didn’t seem to mind the contact, and they didn’t even try to electrocute them. The pink one they currently rode on floated aimlessly across a vast, purple and blue void, as slow as a gondola ride. Though Mary did wonder how these jellyfish could live without water, as normal jellyfish lived in the beach.

“This is so much fun!” Mary exclaimed. “The jellyfish in my world aren’t nearly as big as these, and they only live in water!”

“I’ll bet!” Vic agreed before pointing to one blue jellyfish that was coming closer. “Ooh! Jump on that one!”

Mary stood up, waiting for the jellyfish to come as close as it could. Once it got close enough, Mary took in a breath and leaped. Thankfully, she and Vic landed right on top of the blue jellyfish with no problems. Both Mary and Vic broke into delighted laughter. Mary would never have been able to experience something like this back on Earth, which only further proved how much better this train was compared to home. Of course, she knew she couldn’t exactly stay in a car full of floating jellyfish. There were no floors, and as fun as riding and jumping on jellyfish were, she didn’t want to get reckless and wind up falling into the abyss.

“Mary! Vic!” Blanca, taking the form of a small bird, flew over to the two of them, flapping her wings. “I found the exit! It’s just a little further!” She used one of her wings to point further up. Mary and Vic stopped to get a better look. Just as Blanca said, a red door with a gold handle was about sixty feet away from them, its bright, vivid color standing out from the darker tones of the jellyfish abyss.

After another round of jellyfish hopping, with Blanca supervising this time, they made it to the exit. The exit was on a flat platform, which allowed the three of them to stand on with ease. But before they left, Mary turned around and waved to the jellyfish with a smile on her face.

“Thanks for the ride, jellyfish!!” Mary called out.

One of the jellyfish waved its tendrils in response to her goodbye before floating away. With that, the trio’s fun time in the Jellyfish Car came to an end. They went through the exit, and Blanca expanded back into her normal form.

“I must admit, I haven’t had that much fun in quite a long time,” Blanca said, sprouting an arm to wipe some sweat off her head.

“I wanna do that again!” Mary proclaimed before she remembered something. “Oh! Blanca? Do all marshmallows in the Sweets Car change shape like you do?”

Blanca decided to explain as they walked across the bridge. “Some of us do and some don’t. Those of us that do can change into anything we like, though as you saw in the Hamster Car, I’m unable to change color to match whatever I transform into. I need about a hundred more years of training to master that.”

A hundred more years? Mary’s jaw dropped open. If Blanca needed another century to master shapeshifting, and she was already five hundred years old, exactly how long could magic marshmallows live? What else could Blanca be capable of? The train in and of itself was already so amazing to young Mary’s mind, but everything else inside of it was on a whole different level...and she loved it.

On the other hand, Vic had his eye on Mimi. “Hey, Mary? Do you always carry that stuffed rabbit around?” He asked, pointing to Mary’s stuffed bunny.

“Yes I do! When I’m allowed to, that is,” Mary answered right away, holding Mimi tight against her chest. “Mimi’s my bestest friend in the whole wide world!”

“Even though she’s a stuffed animal?”

“Stuffed animals are great listeners! And they never tell you to shut up or call you names or anything!”

Fair point, as far as Vic was concerned.

“Mom got her for me when I was four! Mimi’s gonna be my friend forever and ever!”

Vic narrowed his eyes. “Ehh...suit yourself.”

Mary’s smile faded. Vic sounded a little put off by Mary’s proclamation just now. She could tell he didn’t sound angry or outright disgusted, but something about the way he looked at her after she said that didn’t feel right. Luckily, she didn’t have time to dwell on it much, as the trio had reached the entrance to the next car. Blanca turned the handle before the three of them walked in.

Instantly, Mary regretted going inside, and her face contorted with visceral disgust at what she saw. The train car looked like the impoverished area of a big city, with gray, dirty buildings surrounding the vast alleyway that spread out before them. Brightly colored graffiti covered most of the walls, but did nothing to beautify the grime. Stalls made out of wood, tarps, and metal bars lined the alleyway on both sides, parallel to one another. Lots of denizens walked through the alleyway, with some lingering at the stands, browsing the various lines of merchandise. There were even a few passengers here and there.

But the worst thing about it was the giant slugs. Many of the denizens that inhabited this car were giant slugs of all different shapes and colors. One mustard yellow slug approached them with a smile, though Mary was quick to hide behind Blanca. Oddly enough, Vic hopped off of Mary’s shoulder and onto Blanca’s head.

“Greetings, shoppers, barterers, and traders! Welcome to the Black Market Car!” The mustard yellow slug edicted in a nasally male voice. “We’ve got all sorts of merchandise available for sale and for trade! Please feel free to look around! I’m sure we’ll have something here that tickles your fancy! Enjoy yourselves now!” With the greeting out of the way, the slug slid away.

“Ooooh! Now this is awesome!” Vic hopped off of Blanca’s head, his brown eyes marveling at the scenery before him. “I’d heard about this car, but I can’t believe I’m actually here! I bet I can net some good stuff here!”

Mary couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Vic was actually happy to be here? Bile rose to her throat. Why would anyone want to be in a dirty, grimy place like this? Sensing her disgust, Blanca slid a reassuring arm around Mary’s back.

“It’ll be alright, Mary. We’ll be out of here when we find the exit,” Blanca told her soothingly. “We can get through this together.”

In that moment, Mary did think of one good thing about this grimy place: The fact that her mother wasn’t here to needle her about everything. That had to make things more tolerable. She hoped so.

The trio scoured the stalls to see if they could find anything interesting. Mary did wonder how they could hope to buy anything here since they had no money. She didn’t want to take the bags of money she found in the Green Car, and in hindsight, she was glad she didn’t do so, as they might have belonged to Ben Greene. But if they couldn’t get anything here, what was the point of staying?

“Hey, Blanca!” Vic scuttled over to one stall, jumping up and down so Blanca could see him. “Bring my backpack over, will ya? I think I found something good!”

“Coming!” Blanca slowly walked over to the stall. Mary poked her head out from behind, watching as Vic crawled up the metal wire holding up the sign and hopped onto the wooden stand. Mary looked up, seeing that a gray slug with googly eyes was overseeing the stand. With a gasp, she hid back behind Blanca, barely noticing the fact that the marshmallow put Vic’s yellow backpack on the stand.

“Hello there! What can I do for you?” The gray slug asked.

Vic smoothed out the tuft on his head, and immediately put on an air of confidence. “Might I inquire about the origins of these earrings?”

In no time at all, Vic and the slug were lost in conversation. Mary barely paid much attention, as everything else around her seemed to command it, no matter how much she wanted to ignore everything around her. The noisome smell of grime, dust, and slug liquids, the heavy moisture in the air that seemed to weigh her down, and the cacophony of voices that seemed to slam into her ear drums...Mary wished she could just bury herself in Blanca’s skin and stay that way until they left the train car. But for all she knew, Vic might want to visit every stall here, and she couldn’t force him to leave just because she wanted to. That was considered rude. But of all the cars she encountered thus far, this was the worst one yet.

Much to her relief, Vic didn’t stay at that particular stall for very long. “Look what I got!” Vic showed Mary and Blanca a set of earrings and a jeweled box about the same size as him. “These earrings are said to have been left behind by a king who was on the train here thousands of years ago!”

“Whoa, really?” Mary exclaimed. So even kings and queens could find themselves on the train as well. Who knows what other royalty could wind up on the train?

“And this box,” Vic put one paw on the top of the box. “Is made entirely of agate, dating back to the 19th century. I had to trade my second edition copy of Gray’s Anatomy that I got from some passenger for both of these, but it was worth it! If you can believe it, this box and these earrings are worth a ton of money, and that trader didn’t even know it!”

Mary could only grimace as she looked at Vic’s acquired items. “They don’t have slug goo on them, do they?”

“Last I checked, no,” Vic replied.

“Well, you’ve made some interesting finds,” Blanca said. “Why don’t we look around a bit?”

The trio walked further down the street, occasionally stopping whenever Vic saw something of interest. Some slugs crossed their paths, and Mary made sure to keep her distance. She really didn’t like the idea of being near giant slugs. Regular slugs were gross enough, with their slimy bodies and God knows how many possible germs they had, but giant slugs bigger than she was? Mary felt her stomach churn, and she knew it wasn’t from the sweets she ate in the Sweets Car this time around. Or maybe it was and she was just hoping it wasn’t.

Occasionally, some passengers speckled the street as well. At one point, Vic insisted they stop at another stall, and standing around was starting to make Mary feel restless. She turned around, hoping doing some denizen watching would kill the boredom. Her father always said that people watching could be fascinating and a good time killer. Mary noticed one middle aged woman with brown hair wearing a gray uniform talking to some slugs. Her sensitive ears made out the woman’s strong British accent, and she silently wondered how a woman like her wound up on the train. Turning to her left, she saw a woman and a young child huddled close together. Both of them had deep umber skin, and the mother had her black hair tied in a myriad of cornrows. The boy looked to be about Mary’s age, maybe a little bit older, and every strand of the boy’s afro defied gravity.

Mary’s jaw fell open, this time from surprise. Were they mother and son? She saw a glowing green number on the mother’s hand, but it was too far away for her to make out. They didn’t look familiar to her, but she did wonder how they got on the train. Could they be potential friends? Mary smiled at the idea. Her parents and teachers always said she needed to put in more effort to improve her social skills and make friends, and what better place to do it than on a magical train? At least here, Mary didn’t have her mother pushing her to do so regardless of whether she was ready or not. Especially when she wasn’t ready, which was the most common. Mary took in a breath, came up with a script in her head, and moved to approach the mother and son.

“Hi there!” Mary greeted them with a wave. “Did you guys wind up on the train, too?”

The boy swiveled around, his eyes wide at first, but after a minute of processing her entrance, his shoulders relaxed. “Sure did. You, too?”

“Yep! I’m Mary! What’s your name?”

Before the boy could respond, his mother yanked on his arm, dragging him away from her. “No, Josh. Don’t talk to strangers. We don’t know where she’s from.”

Just like that, the two of them disappeared into the crowd. Mary’s eyebrows furrowed. They didn’t even want to talk to her, even though she was a passenger like them! As much as it hurt, she knew Josh’s mother had a good point. To them, she was a stranger, an unknown body from an unfamiliar place, and his mother probably wanted to keep him safe. Or maybe, like her, she wanted to get away from the grime and slugs as fast as possible. Still, Mary’s heart ached. She put herself out there and tried to make conversation with someone, but it fell on deaf ears. She gave a defeated sigh, hung her head down in desolation, and returned to the stall where Blanca and Vic were.

“...You’re not going to find another pristine second edition book like this one! Besides, it’s not like you really have any use for those!” Vic was in a heated negotiation with a mustard yellow slug with whiskers, standing on an old, hefty book with faded silver lettering. “Now what’s it gonna be?” Vic asked, crossing his arms.

After a brief moment of rumination, the slug handed over two small vials and a tiny box. Vic flashed a smirk as he collected his merchandise and stuffed it in his backpack. “Pleasure doing business with you!”

“You take care now!” The slug waved as the trio left his stall.

The trio visited a few more stalls, and Vic found himself collecting more and more items, many of which Mary didn’t recognize. When they left a fifth stall, Vic cackled to himself as he marveled at another item he managed to obtain, which was a silver smartphone with a slightly faded screen, along with a charger that came with it. “Aw man, Lady Luck is really shining down on me today! Now I can finally use that internet thing all the passengers I met talked about!”

Vic wanted to learn how to use the internet? She had no idea. “I can show you how to use it if you want,” Mary suggested. Her father and sister had taught her how to use the computer, along with learning about websites, URLs, search engines, how to save files onto digital folders, and so on. In the process, they made sure the subjects of said websites were appropriate for a nine-year-old.

“Really?” Vic’s ears stood up. “That’d be awesome! But that’ll have to wait til later,” He said, putting the smartphone in his backpack before hopping back on Blanca’s head. “Don’t want somebody to come and steal it right from under my nose.”

Good point. Places like this had their fair share of skeevy people who’ll rob someone at the first opportunity. She had to admit, it was smart of Vic to take that into consideration, even with his enthusiasm about being here. One couldn’t be too careful. Even so, Mary didn’t want to spend another minute here.

“Is there anything here you want, Mary?” Blanca asked when they started walking again. “We’d be more than happy to get it for you.”

Mary shook her head. “No thanks. I don’t see anything I really want, and my backpack’s already full,” She replied. If she tried to put more stuff in her backpack, Mary was sure it’d explode. It was hard enough just putting everything she brought with her from home, and Mimi couldn’t fit in there no matter how hard she tried to put her in.

“We’ll be at the exit soon,” Blanca told her reassuringly. “I don’t know how far this car goes, but I’m sure it’s around here somewhere.”

Mary hoped it was close by. The sooner she got out of this train car, the happier she’d be. Unfortunately, the exit was still a long way away from them. The trio continued to wade through the crowds of slugs, and Mary made sure not to touch any of them, even by accident, staying close to Blanca the entire time. She wondered if she could tell Blanca about not liking the slugs, or maybe suggest Mary hang out in some quiet place while she and Vic scoured the stalls. Oftentimes, when Mary was overwhelmed by noisy places, her father would ask her if she’d like to go to a quiet place to get away from it for a while, at least until her mother and sister were done with whatever they were doing. Mary always took the opportunity whenever possible, as continual loud noises gave her headaches. But more often than not, her mother would say no whenever Mary was alone with her.

“You can’t spend your whole life running away from everything that’s scary,” Her mother said to her a few months ago. “You won’t get anywhere in life if you’re a coward. When you grow up, you’re going to have to learn how to deal with the real world.”

As scary as the real world could be at times, and Mary had to admit her mother did have a valid point, it was her mother’s methods of preparing her for the real world that scared her more. Images came rushing back to her mind. Doctors putting their hands on her, pinning her down, their weight pressing down on her body. Orders, demands, and commands being shouted at her that made no sense, and kept getting changed around whenever they felt like it. The memory of her mother yelling at Mr. Bryant at the meeting recently. Her mother shooting down everything Mary said or wanted, even wanting to go to the bathroom in a store just to get away from the noise for a bit.  Mary shook her head in an attempt to push those memories out, but they still lingered. Mary knew Blanca would likely let her find someplace to hide to get away from the noise, but she didn’t want to get in the way of Vic’s fun.

‘Maybe this is one of those times where I need to suck it up and deal with it,’ Resigned to this thought, Mary held onto Blanca’s hand, falling silent as they traipsed through the crowds once more. However, just being here made her skin crawl.

Vic scoured another stall, acquiring more items, and the trio was about to move further down, but a large, grey slug with thick whiskers approached them.

“Howdy there, shoppers and traders!” The grey slug greeted them in a jolly, nasally voice. “I take it you three are having a good time?”

It took everything Mary had not to shake her head no. Vic, on the other hand, puffed out his chest and took the initiative. “Sure am! You’ve got some great deals going on here!”

The slug’s protruding eyes closed as he smiled at them. “Well, I’m glad to hear it! If there’s anything you need help with, don’t hesitate to ask!” He opened his eyes and caught sight of Mary, who kept her face hidden behind Mimi. The slug’s eyes lowered to meet Mary at her height. “Hmm? I don’t think I’ve ever seen that stuffed animal before.”

Stuffed animal? Mary shivered. Was this slug suddenly interested in Mimi? Why? She held onto Mimi tightly.

“Dare I ask if that stuffed animal is for sale?” The slug asked, his whiskers wiggling as he spoke. “I can offer—”

For sale?! Mary couldn’t believe what she was hearing. This slug wanted to buy Mimi! Mary hid Mimi behind herself, shooting an angry glare at the slug. “No! She’s not for sale!”

“Yes, what Mary says is true,” Blanca added. “You see—”

Unfortunately, the slug cut her off mid-sentence. “Oh, come now! Surely you’re open to negotiations!” The slug insisted, crawling closer. Mary’s face contorted as she caught the scent of slime and dirt. Why wasn’t this slug taking the hint and going away?

“Come on, Glider. Back off,” Another slug crawled into the fray, a brown one with deeper colored whiskers. “Sorry about that. He always comes on too strong,” The brown slug told them, leaning closer to Mary. “Don’t worry, Miss. You don’t have to—”

This was too much. Mary couldn’t take it anymore. Every vein in her body screamed, and it felt like the entire car was closing in on her. Now this brown slug was invading her space, her vision. Even though her mind told her this brown slug was an ally, that he was only trying to be nice, her body acted on its own, and she let out a scream.

“GO AWAY YOU DISGUSTING SLUGS!!”

Mary’s scream made everything around her stop. Every slug denizen turned to face the odd trio. Even the brown and grey slugs in front of them could only stare, their eyes wide and jaws agape. The silence was so pervasive, one could hear a pin drop. When she realized what had come out of her mouth, Mary looked around, seeing eyes everywhere, all of them on her. The gravity of what she had done was pressing down on her, like how her mother pinned her down in the bookstore, and she didn’t even know how to process all of this right then. Overcome with shame, Mary broke into tears and ran away. The desire to get out of this car finally took hold, but there was no sign of the exit anywhere. She didn’t stop running even as she heard Vic and Blanca’s voices telling her to come back.

Finally, after a few twists and turns, she found an empty alley with bright graffiti on the walls. As dirty as it looked, with open trash cans and a few empty boxes scattered about, Mary leaned against the wall and cried into Mimi’s back, unable to hold it in anymore, mentally scolding herself for her outburst. Why did she yell at that slug? She knew the brown slug was trying to help, and she had wanted to say thanks, but instead of doing that, she called him disgusting, along with all the other slugs. She didn’t know if there was a word for it, but she knew calling an entire species a bad name was wrong, and even with the knowledge, she still wound up doing it anyway, against her better judgment. It didn’t matter if she hated slugs, this was their home, and slugs living here was normal. The realization made her cry even more.

She didn’t know how long she cried, but eventually, her sobs died down. “Mary!” Both Blanca and Vic found her in the alley, with the former sprouting short legs to approach her. “Thank goodness we found you! We were so worried!”

Too ashamed to look at them, Mary hid her face in Mimi’s fur. Blanca and Vic exchanged perplexed expressions. This was getting awkward.

“So…” Vic took the initiative and spoke first. “Do you want to tell us what’s wrong?”

Mary said nothing.

“We promise we won’t get mad,” Blanca reassured, scooting next to her. “We want to know how we can help you. But we understand if you don’t feel comfortable talking about it right now.”

For a moment, things were silent. Mary squeezed Mimi closer. She did want to tell them why she was upset...and the fact they were willing to listen was enough for Mary to finally let it out.

“I...I hate this car,” Mary croaked. “It’s gross and dirty and noisy and smells bad and I hate slugs, too. I know that’s a mean thing to say, since the slugs are part of the train and stuff, but...I just can’t stand them! I never have!”

“I had a feeling that might have been the case,” Blanca confessed, scratching her head with one hand. “I had wanted to ask you about it, but I didn’t want to pry. I could tell you seemed really uncomfortable. But...can I ask why you didn’t say anything before? I’d have been happy to take you to a quiet place, at least to get away from the noise if you asked.”

There it was, the question that Mary didn’t want to answer. Well, she did, but oftentimes, whenever she did so, the person who asked would never be satisfied with her answer even if it was true. Or she’d be so scared, her throat would close up and she’d be unable to say it out loud, or she didn’t know how to put it into words. At least she knew how to answer this one.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d let me,” Mary confessed tearfully. “Mom usually doesn’t let me hide when it’s noisy, and...I didn’t want to ruin Vic’s fun or hurt his feelings. Just because I hate this place doesn’t mean I should ruin it for everybody else.”

Blanca gave a sympathetic smile. “Mary, don’t ever feel like you’re ruining our fun. It’s okay to feel scared or uncomfortable if something bothers you,” She told her. “And don’t ever feel afraid to ask if you’d like to go to a quiet place to calm down or get away for a bit.”

“Or even just stick by the exit,” Vic chimed in. “That’s an option as well.”

Good point. Mary hadn’t thought of that.

“It’s not good to bottle up your negative feelings inside,” Blanca continued on. “If you try to squash them down and pretend they’re not there, they’ll just build up and explode, like your outburst earlier.”

Another good point.

Vic raised his paw. “She’s right, y’know. It’s even okay to say you’re not a huge fan of slugs,” He said. “But you’re right in that it’s wrong to generalize and judge an entire species just because you don’t like them. It wasn’t cool of you to call the slugs disgusting. That brown one was trying to help you, and you probably hurt his feelings by lumping him with all the other ones.”

Mary hid her face in Mimi’s fur again. As much as she hated to admit it, Vic was right. Her self-deprecating brain replayed the incident back in her head. Instead of simply calling the slugs disgusting and screaming, she could have simply told them to back off, or even say thanks to the brown slug and asked Blanca if they could move to a quiet place for a bit.

“I know…”

“And you have to consider the fact that this train car?” Vic extended his arms outward. “With it being all smelly and grimy and full of slugs? This is normal for them. Every train car has their own norms, and what we might think is disgusting and gross, the slugs see as perfectly fine, and we have to respect that. From their point of view, we’re probably the weird ones encroaching on their turf. I mean, you don’t exactly see a kid, a hamster, and a giant marshmallow walking through a magic train every day.”

A chuckle escaped Mary’s lips. He was right about that.

“We’re not telling you this just to make you feel bad, Mary,” Blanca chimed in. “We’re trying to teach you healthy ways to cope with and navigate places that you may not be comfortable with, and to teach you right from wrong in situations like these. Nobody’s perfect. We make mistakes and we occasionally do things we shouldn’t, even when we don’t mean to.”

Vic scratched one of his ears sheepishly. “I won’t lie, I’m guilty of being kind of blunt and judgmental myself. Owning up to your mistakes is important,” He said. “Because if you don’t, you won’t grow as a person.”

Grow as a person...was that what One-One meant when he mentioned that in the video? Mary thought growing as a person meant simply getting older. From what Vic was saying, it sounded like it was about making mistakes, learning from them, and doing the right thing the next time a bad situation came up. Granted, learning from your mistakes was important, and Mary knew that much. But she found herself smiling upon learning that the concept had another name behind it.

“I like that you guys are straight with me,” Mary replied. “Thanks for trying to help me...and listening.”

Blanca stroked Mary’s hair with one hand. “That’s what friends are for. Good friends have to be straight with you and point out when you do something wrong. But they can also teach you ways to handle situations that make you scared or uncomfortable,” She explained.

The three of them decided to sit there for a while so Mary could calm down. Gradually, Mary could feel her body relax after rocking back and forth several times to push the anxiety out. Some of it still lingered, but she understood what she needed to do. She took in a breath and stood up.

“I’m gonna find the slugs and say sorry to them,” Mary announced.

Her hand flashed green. Mary pulled her hand open and saw her number was changing. After a brief blur, her number stopped, and it was now 110.

Vic smiled. “See? Even your number gets it.”

Both Mary and Blanca broke into laughter for a bit. Mary took a minute to muster up her courage and left the alleyway, walking back into the crowded street. It was less crowded than before, and the street was easier to navigate now that there weren’t as many slugs around. But she did hope the slugs from before were still here. Thankfully, she found the two slugs standing in front of one stall, the grey one named Glider and the brown one.

“Mister slugs!” Mary called out as she approached them. The two slugs turned to face her, with expressions she couldn’t read. Mary steeled herself, using the time to mentally prepare what she’d say in her head. Once she got it down, she bowed before them at a 90-degree angle. “I’m sorry for calling you both disgusting! I admit I don’t like slugs, but I know that’s...no excuse for the mean things I said, especially when…” She looked up at the brown slug, taking a minute to address him. “You were trying to help me. I should have said thanks. So...I’m sorry!”

Once again, the two slugs exchanged perplexed looks for a minute. Glider, the gray slug, turned around and smiled. “It’s alright, kid. It’s all water under the bridge. I’m sorry as well. I admit I have a tendency to not know when to back off,” Glider said.

The brown slug narrowed his eyes at his friend. “Yeah, really.”

Mary straightened herself out and gave a sigh of relief. It was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She decided not to linger any longer, having said her piece. She waved goodbye to them before joining back up with Vic and Blanca.

“So...how’d I do?” Mary asked sheepishly, clutching the straps on her backpack.

Vic crawled up Mary’s arm and settled onto her shoulder. “I think you did a bang-up job.”

Warmth settled in Mary’s chest. She did feel a lot better, and even though she was still put off by the car’s griminess, she didn’t feel as scared of the denizens this time around.

After a while, they managed to find the exit, as some strings holding up glass light fixtures led them right to it. Instead of leaving right away, Mary remained by the exit while Vic and Blanca visited one last stall. They told Mary to stay by the exit and not go anywhere, and the girl obliged. At least now that she was by the exit, she had an escape route in case something were to happen, and wasn’t anywhere near the noisy crowds. For a few minutes, she waited patiently for her friends, flapping her hands and kicking the dirt. It wasn’t long before Blanca and Vic returned.

“Hey Mary!” Vic called out. He was on top of Blanca’s head. “I got somethin’ for ya!”

“Really? What?” Mary looked down at Blanca, seeing that she was holding what looked to be...a spear. Or was it an umbrella? Mary couldn’t quite tell, but it looked like a long spear with a sharp silver blade at the tip. She did notice some lines on the blade, and when holding it straight, it was just two feet taller than she was.

“One of the slugs called it an umbrella spear,” Blanca said.

Mary took the giant spear into both arms. It was a lot lighter than she expected, and she could lift it up and down without trouble. Vic hopped off of Blanca’s head and onto Mary’s.

“It’s really handy. You can use it to stab people or defend yourself if you’re in a bad situation, like if someone’s trying to rob you,” Vic explained. “I figured you’d need a weapon if we ever end up in dangerous train cars. Oh! See that shaft on the bottom? Push on it from the bottom.”

Vic pointed to the end of the spear. Mary saw a circular ring just a couple inches from the end of it. She pressed on it, and the blade expanded into a flat silver circle, almost like an umbrella.

“Whoa! Cool!” Mary exclaimed, in awe of the sight.

“It turns into a shield!” Vic added. “So you could say it’s a spear and a shield in one!”

A spear and shield in one whole weapon...Mary couldn’t believe Vic was being so nice to her. He went out of his way to get her a weapon, knowing she’d need to defend herself should the situation arise. She folded the shield back into a blade and hugged the spear. This was far more than she felt she deserved, but she loved it all the same, even if she wasn’t a huge fan of weapons.

“Thank you. Vic, Blanca…” Mary murmured, unsure of what else to say.

Vic scratched his nose. “Alright, I’m all shopped out. Let’s blow this joint.”

Mary couldn’t agree with him more. At least the wasteland didn’t smell bad or feel so grimy. The three of them left the Black Market Car at last, crossing the bridge leading to the next car.

“Oh, Vic! I still need to teach you how to use your smartphone!” Mary exclaimed. “If the next car’s safe, maybe I can show you.”

After a brief moment of rumination, Vic flashed a grin. “Sure. That’d be great. Thanks.”

Mary couldn’t wait.

It had only been a day since Edith stopped by, but Todd still couldn’t get what she told him out of his mind. Not even cleaning the house top to bottom and joining search parties to search for Mary while Reagan was at school helped to push the awful revelation out of his mind. Every day, he came home exhausted and gasping for breath, but he told himself this was nothing. Nothing compared to what Mary might be going through. He reminded himself he needed to be strong. For Reagan, for Mary, and for himself. Still, anger was simmering deep within him. He wished Dana would come home already so he could talk to her about what happened two years ago. She left to run a quick errand, and she said she wouldn’t be back for another hour or so, but time seemed to move at a glacial pace.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, the door opened, and Dana set a plastic bag down on the dining room table. Her side plait dangled from her head as she pulled out some items and put them in the cupboard next to the sink. Todd steeled himself, breathing in and out. Now was the time. He stood up even though his heart pounded in his chest. This issue needed to be addressed, and it needed to be addressed now.

“Dana?” Todd walked into the kitchen, watching as she rummaged through a tiny wooden basket. “Can I talk to you about something?”

“I’m not staying,” Dana replied tersely. “I just came back to get my perks card. I’m heading to the support group and then going food shopping.”

She was heading out again? Todd couldn’t let her slip away. “Dana, this is important,” Todd sputtered, his voice bordering on nervous. “I need—”

“I’ll be back in a couple hours,” Dana wasted no time throwing something in her purse and walking right out of the house. Todd attempted to follow her, but the door slammed right in his face with a hard shuddering noise.

All he could say was “Well, that didn’t work.”

Frustrated, Todd sat down on the sofa, heaving a defeated sigh. He wondered if Dana secretly knew he wanted to talk to her about the trip and left just to avoid broaching the subject. As much as he hated to admit it, he wouldn’t put it past her if she did. Or maybe she really did just want to stop and get her perks card before going shopping. Come to think of it...when was the last time the two of them just talked? Not just about sad things, but the happy things? The silly things? The fun moments they shared together? With the kids?

“Dad?” Reagan’s voice pulled him back to reality. “Did Mom leave just now?”

“Oh. Y-Y-Yes…” Todd stammered, running a hand through his hair. “She just needed to pick something up before going food shopping.”

Reagan’s face fell as she sat down next to her father. The two of them sat in awkward silence, as if groping for something to talk about. Something that wasn’t the obvious: Mary being missing. But the hollowness seemed to creep up on them, as though it would never let them go. Sunlight filled the living room, but it did nothing to alleviate the despair that held them hostage.

“...It’s not the same without Mary,” Reagan whispered.

“I know.”

“What’s for dinner tonight?”

Todd gave another sigh. “I’m not in the mood for cooking,” He confessed. But an idea did hatch in his mind. “How about we get takeout from McDonald’s later?”

Reagan finally managed to crack a smile, the first one she displayed all day. “Sure. I’m down with that,” Reagan said. She stood up and went upstairs.

Without realizing it until she walked in, she found herself in Mary’s room. She took in a sharp breath as she processed everything that was in here. The bright pink walls. The flowery comforter that was still folded and disturbed. Her bookcase. Her pajamas still hanging off her bed. One of the white pillows had fallen off her bed, and her stuffed animals sat on the floor, against the foot of the bed, like an audience waiting for a show to start. Impulse drove Reagan to smooth out the comforter, unfold it, and put the pillow back on the bed, making it look nice. Like it should be. She also put Mary’s pajamas in the hamper in her closet and closed one of the drawers that was left open when she ran away. But this room was missing one big thing.

Mary.

Tears creeped back to Reagan’s eyes, threatening to spill out. She tried to hold them back, but they broke through, slipping down her cheeks. This was Mary’s room, but without Mary, it was just...empty. Reagan sat down on Mary’s bed, crying into her hands. It wasn’t the same without her younger sister. She missed her. She missed hearing her voice greeting her in the morning. Mary skipping around the house, play-acting, and getting lost in her imagination. Watching movies, anime, and cat videos with her. Playing games like tag and hide-and-seek out in the backyard. Playing video games. Helping her with her homework, even if Reagan couldn’t help her with everything. The way she’d beg Reagan to play certain songs on the computer over and over. The way her blue eyes lit up whenever she saw something that delighted her. The way she always shared her giant cookies with her whenever they bought them at whatever cafe or food store they went to whenever they went out. Hearing Mary make up her own stories from scratch, reciting them down to the finest detail.

Without her, the house seemed to lose its warmth. Reagan cried until she couldn’t cry anymore. Her mind drifted back to the note Mary left behind, and she still couldn’t make sense of it. Reading it over so many times provided no answers, and how could it? It wasn’t like she could reach out to Mary and ask her why she left.

Reach out…

Wait a minute…

Reagan stood up. A light bulb flashed in her mind brighter than any other. She scoured through Mary’s drawers, finding nothing. She looked through Mary’s bed and the pockets on her clothes. Nothing. Reagan remembered the things that went missing. Mary’s backpack, some clothes, her stuffed bunny, her shoes, a few books...and something else was missing.

And if that was missing...did that mean Mary had it with her?

“Daaaad!!” The realization hit Reagan like a train to the face, and she screamed before racing down the stairs, back into the living room.

Todd stood up in alarm. “Whoa! What’s wrong, sweetie?”

“Dad! Do you remember that cell phone we got for Mary?!” Reagan yelled.

Cell phone? Todd stopped to ponder for a moment. Last year, he and Dana bought Mary a cell phone for her birthday. Todd insisted on it, that way Mary could contact her parents in case she ever got lost, or was far away and needed them for something, like at her grandparents’ house. She could also use it to contact Caitlin and Leo without needing to use the house phone.

“Why do you ask?”

“Her phone’s not here!” Reagan told him. “I checked everywhere around her room and it isn’t there! If it’s not in her room, there’s a chance she might have it with her!”

The meaning of Reagan’s words was not lost on Todd. The two of them stood there in stupefied silence. But a renewed hope sprang forth in their hearts as the two of them processed the realization.

If Mary had her cell phone with her...there was a chance they could contact her and find out where she is! The two of them mentally kicked themselves for not having realized this before!

Without another word, Todd raced to his bedroom, found his own smartphone on his dresser, and immediately began texting. Reagan proceeded to do the same.

Chapter Text

It had been exactly a week since Mary first got on the train. Mary counted the days she was on it, remembering that it was Saturday morning when she first got on, and although she didn’t have a calendar on her to check, she was sure today was Friday. After the Black Market car, the trio had gone through quite a few cars, many of which took an entire day to get through. One car looked to be in outer space, with musical instruments floating in the air, with the only pathway being a long keyboard that made music whenever someone walked on it. Another car was literally just the inside of a cave, where the trio rode in minecarts. Another car was just a grey cave with a giant crevasse in it that was filled up with sentient stones that fell from the ceiling.

Today, Mary, Vic, and Blanca exited one car, stopping to catch their breath. Their legs burned from so much running, and they fell to their knees, unable to keep standing.

“Uuugh! I never want to go through a car full of flying gold snakes ever again!” Mary complained. She could feel sweat dampening her skin and making her clothes cling to it. She hated the sticky feeling of perspiration against her clothes, and no matter how many times she pulled on parts of her pants to at least pull them off her skin, the wet feeling was still there.

“No argument there,” Vic agreed. Even though he spent the entire car ride on Blanca’s head, his paws were growing numb just from clinging to Blanca while they ran.

Blanca looked around the area, seeing that they were out in the wasteland. There was nothing outside except for the barren desert. “Well, at least we’re safe for now. Let’s take a moment to rest before we go to the next car,” Blanca suggested, absorbing her legs back into her body. “I think we all deserve it after that arduous experience.”

Mary pulled her backpack off her back and set it down in front of her, but she looked over at Blanca with a raised eyebrow. “What does arduous mean?”

Blanca smiled as she explained the word’s definition. “Arduous means hard, difficult, requiring a lot of energy and exertion.”

That made sense. Mary made a note to keep that word in her head for future use. Sometimes, even going through a regular day could be arduous. She wondered if the word could be applied to that situation. Still, her legs burned whenever she tried to move them. Even breathing seemed to hurt, having ran so much earlier. Mary mentally kicked herself for not having brought bottles of water with her when she ran away. At least now, they were safe from the flying snakes and could rest for a bit. The sandy desert breeze was strangely refreshing once the three of them stopped to feel it. It was warmer than the October air that was coming through her hometown, that was for sure.

Vic stopped to munch on some sunflower seeds he had stashed in the backpack he made Blanca carry. Mary couldn’t help but wonder what was so good about sunflower seeds. If Vic liked them, that was okay with her, but Mary could never picture herself eating sunflower seeds. She heard that some people ate them as a snack, but she couldn’t fathom them being anything a person would willingly eat. Mary held onto her backpack and decided to rock back and forth to push the fear and tiredness out of her system. Back and forth she went, she didn’t bother counting how many times she rocked, but she liked the repetitive feeling. It brought her back to the present whenever she was scared or upset. It helped her put her thoughts together. Of course, her mother would always tell her not to do it for whatever reason, even when they were at home.

“Hm? Mary?” Vic immediately took notice of Mary’s rocking. “Why are you doing that?”

Mary froze, her body bristling. Did Vic want her to stop rocking? Was he annoyed? Or maybe he’d understand if she explained herself. Mary took a deep breath and composed herself. “It helps me calm down,” That was all she could say.

Vic simply shrugged and returned to munching on his sunflower seeds. “Oh, okay then.”

The three of them sat there in silence, taking their time to reorient themselves and calm down after the harrowing car ride. Oddly enough, Mary noticed that Blanca didn’t say how long they needed to rest. Usually, when someone announced a break time, they would give a timeline for how long said break time would be, like fifteen minutes or twenty, maybe thirty minutes. Mary hated five minute breaks, as that felt way too short, to the point of almost being no time at all. But as much as Mary liked having a specific deadline, she did appreciate having as much time as she needed to get herself together.

“Alright!” Vic finished his sunflower seeds and stood back up. “I’m ready to get back on the road! How ‘bout you guys?”

“I am, too!” Mary stood up and put her backpack back on.

On the other hand, Blanca slid Vic’s backpack through an appendage she grew out, smiling as she stood back up. “Is everyone feeling refreshed now?” She asked. “Let’s hope the next car isn’t as dangerous as the last one.”

“I’ll lead the way this time!” Mary exclaimed, throwing a fist in the air. Vic crawled onto her head, positioning himself right in the middle before she walked ahead of everyone. The three of them crossed the bridge, and Mary turned the handle on the door before they walked inside.

The new car was made entirely out of materials used for sewing. Houses were made from colorful fabric, stitched together with equally colorful thread, with some buttons decorating the exteriors every now and again. Cloth edged with lace populated the entire car in all manner of colors, like pink, white, and purple. Green and white pillars made from yarn towered over them, as if boasting that they were closer to heaven than the trio was. They almost looked like gigantic mushrooms. Buttons and yarn made up the entirety of the ground.

“Wow…” Mary looked over at one pillar, noticing the foundation was made of something she didn’t recognize. “What are these things?” She pulled a piece of it off, and it was soft to the touch, almost delicate. It looked like a flower made of lace. “They kinda look like those cloth thingies Dad puts his coffee mugs on.”

Vic leaned closer to get a better look. “I know what these are! This is a doily,” He explained. “It’s a fancy decoration often used for stuff like protecting hard surfaces or making stuff look pretty. I’m kinda surprised you don’t know what a doily is, since I read that humans use them.”

Mary narrowed her eyes. “Just because I live in a different world doesn’t mean I know everything about it,” She retorted. A part of her knew Vic was trying to be helpful, but she couldn’t help feeling a little insecure from his words. Then again, this wasn’t the first time someone assumed Mary should have known something when she didn’t or had no way of finding out.

“Now now, Vic,” Blanca was quick to alleviate the tension. “Everyone learns new things at their own pace,” She gently reminded him. “I must say though, this car is quite cute.”

Now that, the two of them could agree on. Everything around them felt so soft, squishy, and feathery. Mary got down on her knees to brush her palms against the ground. It looked and felt exactly like those bundles of yarn her mother would buy at the store whenever she wanted to knit something, like a sweater or a blanket. The whole car looked like something straight out of a fairy tale.

“Hey! Maybe we can stay in this car for the night!” Mary suggested. “I don’t see any monsters around.”

Blanca took a moment to look around just to make sure. Mary was right, as there weren’t any other creatures around, save for some denizens with buttons for heads and doilies for bodies that floated around them. “That sounds like a good idea,” Blanca said, a smile breaking across her face. “What do you think, Vic?”

“Fine with me.”

Just then, a denizen with a big, pink button for a head and a white doily for a body floated right in front of Mary. “Hello, new passenger! Welcome to the Doily Car!” The button headed denizen squeaked in a high pitched, airy voice. “We hope you enjoy yourself here!”

“Is it okay if we spend the night here, please?” Mary asked, making sure to add please for the sake of politeness.

“Sure you can! Make yourselves at home!” The button headed denizen chirruped before floating away on the wind.

“Cool! Thank you!” Mary exclaimed, standing up as Vic and Blanca sat down. She really didn’t want to feel her clothes sticking to her skin any longer, but didn’t want to change her clothes out in the open. She looked around and, thankfully, found half of a big doily forming a wall just a few feet away.

“I’m gonna go change clothes over there,” Mary told them, pointing to the doily in question. “And Vic, don’t you dare peek!”

Vic didn’t pay her any heed. He simply laid on the soft yarn ground with a content look on his face. “Sure. Go nuts,” He told her, waving her off without a care in the world, as he was too lost in his bliss.

With that, Mary took her backpack and ran behind the doily. She knelt down, opened her backpack, and rummaged through it, hoping to find some clean pajamas. She found two pairs, but decided to wear the light green silk pair. Once she pulled them out, she wasted no time pulling off her old clothes, yanking a wad of yarn from the ground to wipe off the extra perspiration, and changing into the fresh pajamas, along with some clean underwear. Another thought entered her mind: Had she brought her favorite blanket with her? Once she changed, she turned over her backpack, figuring rummaging through it would waste too much time. Books, clothes, mechanical pencils, and a rolled up blanket fell out, with the latter unfurling as soon as it appeared. Mary smiled as she pulled the blanket close, marveling at the soft pink fabric, the black star patterns on both sides, and the white frills along the edges. She received it as an infant shortly after her birth. Obviously, she didn’t remember, as it was impossible to retain memories of her infancy, but her father told her that a friend of her mother’s knitted it for her.

She hugged it tightly against herself, savoring its softness. It wasn’t big enough to cover her whole body, but at this point, she didn’t care. It could cover both Mimi and the top half of herself, and that was all she needed. As she proceeded to put everything away, something fell out from one of the shirts she packed. Looking down, she saw it was...her cell phone.

“Oh!” Mary picked it up. “I didn’t know I had this with me,” She didn’t remember packing it, but seeing that it was caught in one of her shirts, maybe she put it inside without realizing it. This wasn’t the first time she had either forgotten something or brought something she didn’t remember packing. Now that she had it, though...curiosity took hold as she turned her cell phone on. Did her parents and sister try to contact her? Did they know she was gone? They had to have done so at some point.

It took a minute, but her phone turned on. Not long after, a barrage of text messages soon followed. Ten at the very least. Mary remembered turning off the volume and vibration settings, as she hated the weird noise that came with the notifications. They always made her feel like she was about to have a heart attack. A part of her contemplated ignoring the texts and refusing to read them outright. Why would her parents and sister bother reaching out to her? They knew about the blog, and for all Mary knew, they probably hated her just as much as Dana did and were just pretending to love her. Maybe they secretly wished she wasn’t autistic.

‘At least read them and see what they have to say,’ The voice in her head told her. Mary sighed. What harm was there in at least reading them?

Most of the messages were from Reagan. Rather than respond to them, she kept her responses in her head.

Mary? Mary, are you there? Where are you?

‘On a magic train. Away from Mom.’

Please come home! We miss you!

‘No you don’t. You’re lying, and I’m never going back home! Not when Mom plans on doing something horrible to me!’

Whatever it is we did wrong, we’re sorry!

‘Sure you are. Sorry for pretending to love me and lying to me my whole life.’ Mary wondered if her mother put them up to texting her, trying to plead with her and convince her to come home. Nothing would ever sway Mary this time. Like hell was she ever going back to Dana. Back to a life where she was constantly criticized, scrutinized, and punished over nothing.

Mary, please… This one was from her father. Please come home. We’re not mad at you about what happened at B&N.

‘Liar! I bet you wish I’d never been born, just like Mom does!’

Please respond! We’re worried sick about you! At least let us know you’re safe!

‘I am safe! Away from Mom! Not that you care!’

“Mary!” Vic’s voice called out to her from afar. “What’s taking you? Show me how to work this thing already!”

How long had she been hiding behind his doily? Not wanting to keep Vic waiting, and because she got tired of reading the text messages, she turned her phone back off and put everything back in her backpack. Once everything was in order, she ran back to the duo and happily showed Vic how to work his smartphone. But her thoughts occasionally drifted back to ignoring their texts. Could she really just ignore her family and leave them behind? What if Reagan and her father’s worries were real, and not pretend? What if they didn’t know about the blog and Dana’s true feelings about Mary? As much as Mary thought of stopping to think about it, she knew she couldn’t just hop off the train and go back home even if she wanted to. Her number needed to go down to zero first.

While she was showing Vic how a search bar worked, she noticed her palm. Instead of her number being at 110, it had risen five digits, now at 115. Mary frowned. Why did it rise? She couldn’t think of anything she had done that made it rise like that. But she pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind as she laid down on the soft, cloud-like ground, with one arm snaked around Mimi, as she helped Vic explore the wonders of his new smartphone.

“What does URL stand for?” Vic asked, once he got the hang of using Google.

“I don’t know. But I know you gotta type one if you want to go to a website. It shows up in the search engine, that white box line, right there,” Mary explained, pointing to the search bar in question. “Sometimes they start with www, sometimes they start with http and those symbols there, like the colon and the bars,” It was there that a realization struck her like a lightning bolt. “Hey! Maybe type the question in there and see if it’ll answer!”

Vic did exactly that, typing “What does URL stand for?” in the search engine, and immediately, an answer appeared: Uniform Resource Locator.

“Awesome! This thing’s so handy!” Vic cheered. “Thanks so much for showing me all this, Mary. It’d probably have taken me weeks or months to figure this all out on my own!”

Warmth lurched in Mary’s chest, and heat rose to her cheeks, turning them red as a tomato. Mary averted his gaze, abashed by the praise.

“Y-Y-Y-You’re...welcome…” Her throat closed up, and it took everything she had just to push the words out.

Vic raised an eyebrow, immediately noticing Mary’s sudden reticence. “What’s wrong? Are you not used to people complimenting you or something?”

He hit the nail right on the head. Mary hugged Mimi tightly, and the gesture helped her find her voice again. “I...I guess. Usually when I try to help people with something, they get mad at me whether I do it correctly or not,” She confessed. The memory of showing her mother her math test flashed through her mind, along with accidentally knocking over her documents when she tried to take it back. She could still feel the tense air around her as her mother snapped at her and told her to leave, even rejecting her offer to help clean up.

Blanca took a large doily and wrapped it around herself like a blanket. “Does it happen often?”

“Only with certain people,” Mary replied. “Like my mom or my grandma on my mom’s side.”

Vic crossed his arms. “Well, I say they’re full of it!” He proclaimed with an air of confidence. “You and Blanca helped me get out of the Hamster Car and see the world outside of it, and now I don’t spend all my time feeling insecure and isolated anymore. Besides, you just helped me learn how to use the internet, and for someone of my size, that’s a huge help.”

Fair enough.

“Come to think of it, we haven’t really had time to get to know one another, have we?” Blanca asked. “We’ve been so busy getting through all the cars recently, it’s been hard to find a moment to just talk.”

Both Mary and Vic exchanged wide eyed expressions. Blanca actually had a good point. Although the three of them were traveling together, there was still a lot about each other that they didn’t know, such as hobbies, interests, strengths, weaknesses, how they’d go about their day, and so on. Come to think of it…

Mary held her hand up like she was in school. “I have an idea! There’s this game my teacher had us play called Two Truths And a Lie,” She suggested. “It’s a game where you mention three things about yourself, two being true and one being a lie, and we have to guess which one of those is the lie!”

All went quiet. Mary’s smile immediately turned into a frown. Had she said something she shouldn’t have again? Or did she interrupt their conversation? Ice ran through Mary’s veins. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea—

“I’m game! Let’s do that then!” Vic agreed.

“That does sound like fun,” Blanca turned to Mary. “Since you suggested it, would you like to go first? You can show us how to play this game.”

Mary was so stunned by their acceptance of her idea that she was slack-jawed for a full minute, unable to quite process it at first. But she composed herself and decided to start. “Let’s see...Oh!” It actually didn’t take long for her to come up with her first statements. “First, like I said before, you have to say three things about yourself, two that are true, and one that’s a lie, like this: I want to be a writer when I grow up, my favorite food is potato au gratin, and I’m good at archery! Now you have to guess which one is the lie.”

The denizens took a moment to contemplate their answers. Vic was the first to speak up. “I think the archery one is a lie, because most passengers I saw using bows and arrows were teenagers or adults.”

Unlike Vic, Blanca’s head tilted to the right, and she had an indecisive expression. “I’m afraid I don’t know what archery is.”

“I can tell you!” Mary offered to explain, pulling out a notebook and pen and immediately began drawing. “This part’s called a bow,” She drew the bow first in a semicircle, then an arrow consisting of a line and a triangle. “And this part’s the arrow. You pull the arrow and the string back, and then let go, and it goes flying. Like this,” Mary stood up, held her left arm out, and pulled her right arm back, demonstrating the process as though she really were pulling a bowstring back. “And the arrow goes whooooosh!” She broke her archer’s stance and threw her arms out in a semicircle, demonstrating how an arrow would look if it were shot.

“Hmmm...that does put me in a conundrum, though,” Blanca confessed. “I can’t seem to decide which of your statements is a lie, as they all sound so convincing.”

If Blanca couldn’t figure out which of her statements were a lie, Mary figured she must have gotten much better at this game than she initially assumed. Mary tried really hard not to smile, as pride swelled in her chest. When was the last time someone had ever been genuinely fooled by any lies Mary told, game or no? But she didn’t want to make Blanca feel bad, so she decided now was the time to confess.

“But Vic is right, though. I’ve actually never done real archery before,” Mary clarified. “I really want to, though! It looks so cool!” She balled her hands into fists and began shaking them. Just thinking about it made her excitement bubble over like soda fizz. “My family and I saw some kids doing it once at a park, and I told them I wanna do that someday! But my parents said no, that it’s too dangerous.”

“I think it’s understandable, as bows and arrows are considered weapons to an extent,” Vic chimed in. “If you’re not careful with them, you could hurt yourself really bad.”

Mary couldn’t help but agree. “Yeah. I know. But my dad said I can learn it once I get older,” She added hastily. “I really can’t wait! Oh! We better get back to the game,” She immediately turned to Vic. “Since you figured out my lie, you can go next, Vic.”

“With pleasure!” Vic beamed as he crawled to the top of his backpack, puffed his chest out, and talked like he was campaigning for mayor. “First off, my favorite food is apple seeds! Second, I designed my entire house, from the pipe fixtures to the shelves, and third, I actually bit a human kid so hard I left serious teeth marks on their hand!”

Another moment of silence fell as Blanca and Mary ruminated on Vic’s statements. Mary couldn’t quite fathom the idea of Vic intentionally biting someone, as he was always nice to her. Granted, the hamsters did mention some rowdy kids destroyed their car at one point, along with actually designing his house, though One-One sent someone to build it for him. The apple seed part seemed the most convincing, as hamsters normally ate seeds. Vic didn’t really come across as the violent type.

“I think the thing about you biting someone is a lie,” Mary proclaimed. “Because I can’t picture you being mean like that.”

Vic crossed his arms, making an X shape. “Bzzzt! Wrong!” Vic corrected her straight away. “I actually did have to bite someone once, long ago, but it was in self-defense. You remember how the Hamster Car was attacked by a bunch of kids once?”

Oh, so it turned out to be true after all. Mary frowned, but didn’t feel too discouraged about it. This was just a game, she reminded herself.

“The thing is, the kids who attacked the car actually destroyed my old home and tried to attack my parents with a crowbar,” Vic went on to explain. “I wasn’t having none of that. I ran up to that kid and bit him so hard on the hand, I’m pretty sure I drew blood. I had to fight back, or else they’d kill us all.”

Those same kids attacked his parents? Mary shuddered, her mind immediately heading towards the unthinkable. “Did they kill your parents?”

“Thankfully, no,” Vic clarified. “Us hamsters managed to drive them away, though we weren’t able to save a lot of our homes.”

“Where are your parents now?” Blanca asked. “If it’s not rude of me to ask, that is.”

Catching on to hat she was inferring, Vic put her concerns to rest. “Don’t worry. They’re not dead or anything,” He clarified. “They’re with some guy, helping him on his train journey, kinda like how I am with you guys. They didn’t abandon me, in case you’re wondering. They trusted me to take care of things at home and knew I could handle myself now that I’m old enough. I kinda can’t wait to hear their stories about it when they get back.”

Mary smiled, relieved that Vic’s parents weren’t either hurt or the kind that would abandon their child. “I bet you can tell them plenty of stories about your adventures with us, too!”

Vic snapped his fingers. “Hey, you’re right! I can!” 

“So…” Blanca re-railed their conversation back to the game. “Which of your statements is a lie?”

“The apple seeds one,” Vic responded. “I know we hamsters eat different kinds of seeds, but apple seeds are the exception. Seriously, those things can really make us sick. I tried one once, and I was out for a week. It was awful,” With this, he turned to face Blanca. “Alright, now you.”

“Hmm…” Blanca took a moment to come up with her own lie and two true facts about herself. “I have nineteen children, I’ve never left the Sweets Car, and my favorite hobby is stargazing.”

“Oh! Oh! I know!” Mary wasted no time raising her hand and saying her piece. “You having nineteen children is a lie, because you told me you actually have twenty!”

Vic’s jaw fell ajar. “Damn, you’re quick,” Since he didn’t know Blanca very well, he wasn’t quite sure which of her statements were true or false. All he could do was trust Mary’s judgment.

Blanca smiled. “I suppose mine were far too obvious. Mary’s right, Vic, I do have twenty children as opposed to nineteen,” She explained. “I must say, this is quite fun.”

A smirk spread across Vic’s face. “But you know what’d be more fun?”

Neither Mary nor Blanca could answer. As they exchanged confused expressions, a wad of yarn flew right into Mary’s face.

“Pillow fiiiiight!!” Vic screamed.

Mary huffed as she pulled the offending wad of yarn. “Actually, it's a balled up yarn fight!” She proclaimed, throwing it right back at Vic.

“Same thing!” Vic exclaimed as he sidestepped, avoiding the fluffy onslaught. He found another wad of yarn and proceeded to throw it at Blanca. All it did was bounce right off of her jiggly body.

“I’m afraid you won’t be able to defeat me that easily, Vic,” Blanca warned, rolling up a slightly smaller bundle of yarn and hurling it right back at him. Mary proceeded to do the same, only she hurled hers at Blanca.

“Yarn fight!!” Mary cheered.

Giggles and merry laughter echoed throughout the doily car as the three of them pelted each other with bundles of colorful yarn. Their structure was much softer than pillows, so it didn’t actually hurt when they were hit with them. Mary could definitely appreciate this, as the bundles of yarn didn’t make her face vibrate like pillows did whenever she and Reagan had pillow fights. Blanca often avoided getting hit, as she would do so by changing shape, usually shrinking. Changing shape proved to be easier than simply moving out of the way.

“Hear me, mortals! I am Victorino Achilles Isidoro Liberatore VIII!” Vic gave his edict as his tiny body struggled to uphold a wad of turquoise yarn that was far bigger than he was. “Son of Victorino VII and Sandrilene Elizabeth Philippa Liberatore! Fall before my wrath!”

Of course, he wound up being all talk and no action, as Mary swatted him with a small sphere of purple yarn. “Oh yeah? I’m Mary Andromeda Summers, and I just beat you!”

Vic fell right on his back, with the turquoise yarn covering him from head to toe. But he was quick to dig himself out from underneath it. Everyone broke into more laughter. This was turning out a lot more fun than Mary thought it’d be. The last time she had this much fun was when she and a few other girls slept over at Caitlin’s house once in the third grade.

Wait…

Mary sprang up from the floor. “You wanna know what I just realized? I’m having a slumber party with my best friends!”

Vic raised an eyebrow as he fixed the tuft of hair on his head. “Slumber party?”

“Yeah. It’s when you and your friend go to somebody’s house and sleep over. Or they come to your house and do that instead,” Mary explained. “You get to eat food, play games, have pillow fights, tell stories, all that fun stuff!”

“That does sound similar to what we’re doing right now,” Blanca pointed out. “I take it you’ve done this before?”

“Only once, last year,” Mary crossed her legs and told them about the sleepover she had. “My friend Caitlin invited me and two other girls to her house to sleep over, and her mom made chocolate chip cookies and spaghetti with meatballs for dinner, and we got to watch this fun movie called Okko’s Inn and we also played Two Truths and a Lie. It was so much fun!” Her smile turned into a frown as she explained the next part. “I almost wasn’t allowed to go because my mom was afraid I’d do something bad while I was there.”

“Like what?” Blanca asked.

“I dunno. She always tries to make up reasons for why she won’t let me do anything or go places, especially if she can’t come with me,” Mary continued, shrugging as the memories came flowing back. “She kept telling my dad that she was afraid that I’d do something like scream at the top of my lungs, or throw stuff at people, or run out of the house, or get into fights with Samira and Hiroko, even though I never do that stuff! My sister always calls Mom Karen when she does that.”

“Your sister?” Vic inquired.

“Yeah. Her name’s Reagan. My mom’s name isn’t Karen, it’s Dana,” Mary clarified. “Reagan’s always super nice to me. She just...gets me,” Mary wasn’t quite sure how else to describe it. “She always explains stuff to me when I don’t get it, like turns of phrase and expressions like ‘Fight fire with fire’ or ‘Turn on a dime.’ My dad does, too. They always let me wear earplugs when we go to places that are really loud, or sunglasses if it’s too bright outside, and when I get good grades at school, they take me to the bookstore to buy books and manga, or out for ice cream! And they never get mad at me when I cover my ears or flap my hands or spin around or don’t wanna talk to new people.”

She fell silent as she reached the last sentence, as an image of her mother flashed through her mind once more. Why did her mother have to invade her brain again? Mary clenched her teeth. She wished she could just yank her mother out of her head and toss her somewhere far away. Maybe in the wasteland. Mary turned her head away, looking down at Mimi and pulling her close.

The hamster was quick to catch onto the direction of her gaze...and all that it inferred. “You haven’t mentioned your mom much. Let me guess, is she the reason you’re on the train?”

No answer. Mary couldn’t bring herself to answer. Echoes of her mother’s scolding and yelling overloaded her brain, refusing to leave her alone. The memories shut down her vocal chords.

Seeing the hesitation on Mary’s face, Blanca put a hand on Vic’s head. “You probably shouldn’t press the issue. She might not be comfortable talking about it right now.”

“Oh,” Vic lowered his head in remorse. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. It’s too...scary to talk about,” Mary stammered.

Blanca smiled and retracted her hand back into herself. “It’s alright, Mary. You don’t have to talk about it if you’re not comfortable doing so. But we’re more than happy to listen if you ever choose to do so.”

Mary flashed a shy smile. As much as she wanted to tell Vic about it, she wasn’t quite sure if she should do so or not. Blanca was one thing, since she was a mother herself and was much nicer than her own mother. It was easy to open up to her. On the other hand, Vic was loud and opinionated, which she knew wasn’t a bad thing. It meant that he had a lot of confidence in himself, and she did find herself a little envious of how he could speak his mind without constantly worrying if he was saying the right thing or not. But she did wonder if he would have things to say about her situation if she told him about it, or if he’d be nice about it like Blanca was. Would he listen and support her, or would he be the kind of denizen that would dismiss her as being a whiny brat? Or claim she should suck it up and get over it, like others had done? Insecurity gnawed at her chest like a dying animal, and the fear of the latter prevented her from mentioning anything further.

“It sounds like your dad, sister, and your friends are nice, so it’s good you at least have some people in your corner,” Vic said.

“...If only that were actually true…” Mary found herself whispering under her breath. But she did give Vic a nod in response to that, in the hopes that he didn’t hear her.

Darkness consumed the rest of the sky, and Blanca suggested they all go to sleep, since it was getting late. The three of them pulled doilies over themselves and drifted off to dreamland. A week ago, Mary couldn’t have imagined sleeping in a place like this, especially on a magical train. She wasn’t sure if she’d have been brave enough to even leave the house and get on, much less early in the morning while everyone else was still asleep. Mary held Mimi tightly against her chest as her eyes grew heavy. She did wonder how Caitlin and Leo were doing. Were they worried about her? Were they out looking for her? What about Mr. Bryant? She was sure he might be worried about her. But she knew there wasn’t anything she could do about them. Or everyone else, for that matter. Vic’s statement replayed in her mind like a broken tape recorder. She wanted to believe her father and sister loved her. She truly did. But after what she saw on the blog, and how her mother mentioned them at various points...she didn’t know anymore. Did they even know about the blog? Did they actually love her like they said they did, or was it all just a lie?

Questions without answers continued to linger as Mary finally fell asleep, with Mimi at her side.

Dana couldn’t remember the last time she really had a moment to herself.

She sat at a bench in Schenley Park, completely silent, letting her legs dangle out onto the dirt and her limbs lay limp beside her. She shivered as a new October breeze brushed against her figure, cutting through her lavender sweater. But these days, it took so much effort to just feel alive. Alert. But she felt compelled to take in everything around her to the absolute highest degree. Most of her time was spent keeping an eye on Mary 24/7. When was the last time she was completely alone, having all the time in the world where she could just relax and take everything in? Dana wasn’t sure. Her whole life felt like one big blur. A maze with no exit.

Earlier, she had intended to go to a meeting held by an autism support group she visited for years, but today’s session had been cancelled. She didn’t want to go back home so soon after she left, as she really didn’t want to deal with Todd. It was on impulse that she came here. There was hardly anyone at the park today, even though it was a weekend. Dana saw a man walking his black dog. A black labrador retriever, probably. An elderly couple walking side by side, slow as molasses, their conversation cheerful and merry. Joggers and runners zipping past her without a care in the world. A couple watching as their three children gathered dirt and tried to make a castle out of it.

The sight of that family made Dana’s body go rigid. She wondered what their life was like. Probably different from their own. They probably went out and spent a lot of time together. Maybe going to dinner at fancy restaurants. Holding birthday parties. Never having a single fight or argument. Only worrying about making sure their kids didn’t run into the street or too far away from them. Talking to each other and solving their problems peacefully. Dana found herself envying them, wondering why she couldn’t have the life they had. A part of her knew she shouldn’t envy them, or make assumptions about them. She didn’t know them. They probably had just as many problems as she did. But as far as she was concerned, anything was better than what she was going through right now.

Mary's disappearance still weighed heavy on her mind. Her nine-year-old daughter, missing, somewhere out there, alone and vulnerable...this shouldn’t have happened. None of this should have happened. A week of seemingly endless searching turned up nothing, but Dana knew she couldn’t just put her life on pause just because Mary was gone. There were bills to pay. Meals to cook. Debts to pay off. Come to think of it...even though Mary was on her mind, Dana couldn’t remember the last time she thought of anything or anyone except Mary. In all the years since her daughter’s diagnosis, her mind had been filled with nothing but Mary, leaving hardly room for anything else. Doctor appointments. Therapist appointments. Meetings with the school board and social workers. Constantly having to keep Mary on a tight leash, worried that she might do something she shouldn’t, like knock over something at a store or start screaming for some dumb reason.

“You need to be hypervigilant,” A voice from her memories reminded her. It was the deep baritone of a doctor she consulted after Mary was first diagnosed as autistic. “You need to take control, because if the child is allowed to have their way in everything, they will dominate your entire life, and trust me, these types of children will not stray from their primal desires. If you see any deviation from the norm, any sign that they are retreating into their autistic behaviors, you have to be on it like a hawk swooping in to snatch their prey. You must be prepared for the possibility that Mary will likely never be able to handle herself in the real world.”

Hypervigilant, indeed. She had a feeling raising an autistic child would be hard, but the doctor she consulted back then—she remembered his name was Dr. Goldman—confirmed all of her worst fears. Whether it was the pamphlets he gave her, or the links to those commercials made by Autism Speaks, this was not the life she pictured for herself. Constantly monitoring and correcting Mary on a regular basis. Constant arguments and fights. Constant worrying about Mary being set off by senseless minutia. Constantly rejecting every invitation to a party, an outing, or even a fancy dinner with work friends, because she couldn’t be there to make sure Mary didn’t destroy the house. Constant judgmental stares from onlookers. Constant whispers about how Dana was a bad mother who couldn’t discipline her child properly whenever Mary threw herself onto the floor screaming her lungs out. Dr. Goldman had been right—raising a child like Mary proved to be a miserable, desolate existence.

Oddly enough, with Mary being missing...she was glad she could let her mind drift to something else for once in her life, even if it was for just a second.

“Therion! Wait up, boy!”

Something sniffed at Dana’s shoes. She looked down, seeing a gray and white pit bull dog rubbing its nose against the soles of her shoes. The dog looked up at her with large brown eyes, as if wanting her to pet him.

“There you are!” A girl with curly red hair came running up, wasting no time taking the dog’s leash. “Naughty boy! You shouldn’t run off on me like that!” The girl rubbed Therion’s head and stood up to face Dana. “Sorry about that. He didn’t scare you, did he?”

Dana shook her head. “No, I’m fine.”

“Don’t worry, he’s very friendly. He always wants somebody to pet him,” The girl reassured.

Dana smiled, leaning down to scratch underneath Therion’s chin. True to his owner’s word, the dog rubbed his body against her, as if begging for more affection.

Wait a minute...Dana looked back up at Therion’s owner. Deja vu filled her being. Had she seen this girl before? Upon further rumination, it hit her: This was the girl who was at the Barnes & Noble last Friday.

“Lianna! Did you find Therion?”

So Lianna was her name. An older woman approached the two of them, her chest heaving as she stopped to catch her breath.

“Yeah, I got him, Mom,” Lianna told her.

Deja vu hit Dana once again, only it came with a heaping helping of dread. She recognized the red haired woman. It was one of the mothers who had accompanied them on the field trip to the Carnegie Science Center years ago! Edith Kesserling was her name. Edith seemed to recognize her as well.

“Wait. Dana Summers?” Edith inquired. “Hello there!”

“He...Hello…” Dana stammered, unsure of what to say.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Edith said, greeting her warmly. But her smile turned into a frown shortly afterward. “I heard about what happened to Mary. I’m so sorry.”

Dana stood up from the bench, averting the red haired woman’s gaze. “Thank you. It’s been...hard…” To think she would run into Edith Kesserling of all people out here. She wanted to just run away, but she didn’t want to come across as rude, especially since Edith was giving her condolences.

“If there’s anything I can do to help you in any way, don’t ever hesitate to ask,” Edith told her.

“Y-Y-Yes. I appreciate it,” Any words Dana choked out threatened to lodge themselves in her throat. She was sure any minute, Lianna was going to bring up the Barnes & Noble incident. If Lianna was there, perhaps Edith was there too, and she probably saw Mary’s tantrum as well. Dana wanted to disappear. Teleport away. Save herself from the same familiar insults. Incompetent. Can’t discipline her child right. Can’t get her child under control. Why bother bringing a badly behaved child out in public?

“I’m sure you’re going through a tough time right now,” Edith continued on.

“You don’t...need to worry about me,” Dana replied, flinging her purse over her shoulder. “I should get going.”

Before Dana could make a mad dash for it, Edith called out to her, stopping her in her tracks. “You know...Lianna and I were taking a walk around the track. Would you...maybe like to join us?”

Join her? On a simple walk? Dana’s jaw fell agape, and her eyes went wide as saucers. Lianna found herself shocked as well. A part of her wanted to leave, but...when was the last time someone had invited her to just hang out? Years ago? Dana always rejected invitations like this, as she needed to be home with Mary. She didn’t think anyone else could handle Mary on their own, not even her husband or older daughter. It was her job to look after Mary 24/7. Autistic children were extremely high maintenance like that. That was what Dr. Goldman had told her. Now that Mary was gone...what was stopping her from rejecting this woman’s kind invitation now? She hadn’t brought up the incident from two years ago. Had she forgotten about it, or did she simply decide to move on?

It was here that Dana realized...she was free. Free from the shackles that held her down for the past nine years. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to join them on their walk.

“Actually...I’d love to. Thank you for having me,” Dana replied, her voice almost a whisper.

With that, the trio found themselves walking on the track, with Therion the pit bull leading the way. At first, the conversation was normal. Joyful, even. It had been so long since Dana talked to someone her own age about her own interests, current events, or even about someone else’s life. She was so engrossed in their conversations that Mary had completely slipped her mind. But she did notice one thing: Lianna never looked Dana in the eye whenever Dana tried to speak to her. At one point, Dana asked Edith how her family was doing.

“Xavier’s fine. He’s at home with my son Greg. Now that his hours at work are more flexible, he’s been really happy to be able to spend more time with us,” Edith explained, her voice adopting a cheerful lilt to it. She turned to her daughter, who kept her eyes focused on Therion. “This past weekend, he and Lianna went to the Phipps Conservatory.”

“Oh. I bet their gardens this year are so beautiful,” Dana said. It had been a while since she, Todd, and the girls had gone there. The last time they went was last Christmas. “I admit, it’s hard for me to go out to places like that. I’ve had my hands full with Mary, and...I can’t exactly trust her to behave herself whenever we go out no matter how hard I try to make sure she does.”

It was here that Edith and Lianna exchanged awkward expressions. “Well…” Edith changed the subject. “Mary’s due to start middle school next year, right? Have you thought about which one you’ll send her to? In the district, I mean?”

Dana shook her head. Edith turned to Lianna and asked, “Is it okay if I mention it?”

Lianna nodded.

Permission secured, Edith spoke again. “I enrolled Lianna in Hannah Dustin Middle School way back when, and they have a specialized autism support unit that’s helped her immensely. The staff are always so supportive, and they always take the time to play to the kids’ strengths in order to help them succeed.”

A specialized autism unit...Dana looked up at the clear blue sky, ruminating on that thought. “I’ll have to look into it, mainly to see if they have any ABA programs there.”

Both Edith and Lianna stopped in their tracks, their faces blanched like they saw ghosts. On the other hand, Therion sniffed at a tuft of grass at the edge of the red track they were on. It took a second for Dana to see the mystified looks on their faces.

“...What’s wrong?”

“They don’t have ABA,” Edith clarified.

Dana frowned. She was hoping they did. But if Edith sent her daughter there, she’d probably know if they did or not, and her answer confirmed it.

“Mom?” Lianna gently poked her mother’s arm. “Can I talk to you in private?” She whispered.

Edith flashed a forced smile in Dana’s direction. “You’ll have to excuse us,” With that, mother, daughter, and dog scuttled over to some brush off the edge of the track. Figuring it was something private, Dana remained where she was, pulling her phone out to see if she received any texts. The last thing she wanted to be was an eavesdropper.

Unbeknownst to her, this was the conversation they had.

“Mom. I really don’t think this is a good idea. You and I both saw what she did to her kid last week. You’re not seriously considering trying to be her friend, are you?”

“No, Lianna. Of course not. I just thought I’d reach out to her, from one mother to another. Offering my condolences and a sympathetic ear doesn’t mean I endorse her actions.”

“I know, but didn’t you tell me you saw her almost beat Mary at the Carnegie Science Center trip two years ago? And the second you mentioned the support unit, the first thing she asked was if it had ABA. That’s a clear sign she obviously doesn’t give a rat’s ass about Mary, and shouldn’t she be, I don’t know, out looking for her right now?”

“Yeah, I remember. You’re right to be worried, and to be honest, I have been, too. But we can’t exactly yell at a mother whose child is missing. It’d make us look bad, and it’s not exactly good form. I’m just trying to be friendly and polite is all.”

“Some people aren’t worth being polite to.”

There was a brief silence between them until Edith broke it. “Well, if she says or does something, we can leave. It won’t be for much longer.”

With that, the two of them, dog included, joined back up with Dana. Therion pulled Lianna a little further ahead. Dana found herself smiling as she watched the older girl play with the dog.

“She’s in high school, right?” Dana asked.

“Yep, a junior.”

And on the spectrum, based on what Edith inferred about the support unit at the school she mentioned. “She’s so well-adjusted. I have to admit, I’m envious that you can trust her with your dog,” Dana put a hand to her forehead. “I struggle so much just to get Mary under control at times. Every day is a constant battle, and I always feel like I somehow failed as a mother.”

Lianna stopped walking, as did Dana when she noticed. But the look she saw on Lianna’s face made ice run through her face. The girl’s eyes were squinted into what was clearly an angry glare, as if viscerally disgusted by what she said just now.

On the other hand, Edith made a scrunched up face Dana couldn’t quite read, but the red haired woman spoke right away. “Raising an autistic child isn’t about control. It’s about figuring out what works for them and what doesn’t, and accepting them for who they are.”

It was Dana’s turn to stare at Edith, completely dumbfounded. This was not the answer she expected...or wanted.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why would you ever accept it?”

In that moment, Edith’s mouth fell agape, like she heard Dana drop some kind of slur. The red haired woman and her daughter were rooted to their spots on the track, flicking through countless words in their head in attempts to find the right ones. Dana raised her eyebrows, confused as to why they were looking at her like she had been disfigured with poison ivy.

“Excuse me?”

“By accepting Lianna being autistic, you’re basically giving up on any hope of having any kind of normal life,” Dana told her. “Isn’t the whole point to make autistic children as indistinguishable from their peers as possible and to overcome it?”

Lianna narrowed her eyes into odious slits. “Autism isn’t something that can be overcome,” She retorted, her voice hard with unrestrained bitterness.

Dana paid her comment no heed and continued speaking to Edith, paying just as little heed to the deer-in-the-headlights look she had. “You can’t spend your whole life catering to your child’s every carnal desire. All you’re doing is promoting non-compliance, and you can’t imagine the embarrassment doing that could cause you.”

Before she could continue further, Edith backed away at least two steps, her face contorting into a snarl. “Do you have any idea what you’re saying right now?”

Instead of answering her question, Dana palavered on about her own experiences. “I know this because I struggle with raising Mary every single day. Like I told you on the field trip, every single day is a battle that wears me down and makes me miserable all the time. What kind of mother would I be if I simply accepted her as she was and catered to her every whim? It’d make me no better than those parents who spoil their kids rotten and don’t bother to discipline them. I’d be encouraging her inappropriate behavior and jeopardizing her chances at having a future.”

Edith crossed her arms. “So you basically want to cure Mary and make her not autistic. Is that it?” She hissed the sentence out like it was poison.

“That’s what the doctor I consulted said I should do,” Dana continued on, ignoring the look of anger on Edith’s face and shrugging defensively. “I also read a lot of informative articles put out by Autism Speaks that detail how to deal with raising an autistic child. They also have some very good videos—”

“Citation needed,” Lianna deadpanned, her voice harder than stone. “Autism Speaks is a hate group run by pieces of shit who think autistic people don’t deserve to exist, and you’re basically falling for all of their bullshit propaganda.”

Yet again, she paid Lianna’s comment no heed. Instead, she leaned closer to Edith, getting into her personal space. “That, right there, is an example of non-compliance. She shouldn’t talk that way to an adult, and by accepting that she’s autistic and not making an effort to cure her, you’re encouraging her to behave inappropriately. I notice she hasn’t looked me in the eye whenever I try to talk to her. She needs to learn that eye contact is an essential social skill that shows she’s listening to others. If she doesn’t make eye contact, she’s basically being rude to people who are talking to her. She won’t get anywhere in life if you let her behave the way she does, or else she’s going to wind up being a target.”

In the course of a few seconds, Edith’s reflexes activated. A hand rose high in the air and struck Dana square across the cheek, with such force that it almost knocked her over. It felt like a glass bottle shattered inside her head, and her cheek roared. Dana blinked her brain into place as she felt her cheek sting like hell, but even she, in her shocked delirium, could see the visceral, vitriolic disgust on Edith’s face plain as day. Even Lianna couldn’t help but watch in place, even as Therion took a second to urinate on the grass.

“How dare you…!” Edith hissed through her teeth. Her whole body shuddered with rage, like it took everything she had to keep herself from throwing herself at Dana and ripping her apart limb by limb. “Don’t you ever, EVER, degrade my daughter like that and suggest that I basically abuse her and mold her into some kind of puppet!!” She shouted so loudly, had there been people nearby, they would have turned to watch the brouhaha unfold. Since the park was mostly empty, and the three of them were by themselves, there were no witnesses.

“I really thought you were just misguided,” Edith choked out. “That you just needed a hand. I even tried to reach out to you in your time of need. Clearly, that was a mistake on my part! What the hell is WRONG with you?!” She screamed.

Lianna’s hands flew to her ears, but she didn’t dare move away. Blood rushed to Dana’s face as Edith continued her tirade. “Honestly, I feel more sorry for Mary than I do you, what with how I’ve seen you treat her! I’m surprised the police don’t suspect you of being involved with her disappearance! And you’d rather just sit here, whining about how she makes you soooo miserable, and have a pity party than actually go out and search for her! You need to pull the wool from your eyes, woman! Even I can see that Mary has never been the problem! You’re the one going off on her for absolutely nothing!”

For once, Dana couldn’t think of a single thing to say. Her worst fears were being confirmed, and there was nothing she could do to refute them.

“I think it’s time I told you straight: Yes, you did fail as a mother, but not for the reasons you think!” Edith bellowed. “Instead of trying to turn Mary into your so-called perfect child and whining about how she needs to be cured and disciplined, why don’t you try to understand her and love her for who she is?! Punishing her and shaming her for being autistic is NOT the way to help her live a successful life! And you’ve got a lot of nerve, trying to tell me how to raise my daughter when she’s doing just fine, thank you very much! Is it any wonder people around here call you a Karen?!”

Dana opened her mouth to speak, but Edith silenced her by holding her palm up. “I never should have given you the benefit of the doubt. I’m a damn idiot for thinking you had any humanity in you. Come on, Lianna.”

With that, Edith stomped away. Dana held a hand to her cheek, but it did nothing to alleviate the stinging from the slap. Oddly enough, Lianna remained where she was, glaring daggers at Dana, her eyes flashing fire.

“Did it ever occur to you that it’s not Mary making you miserable, but that you’re the one making her miserable?” Lianna asked. “Maybe try listening to her for once instead of making everything all about you. If this is how you treat your kids, autistic or no, maybe you shouldn't even be having kids at all.”

Only then did Lianna and Therion leave. Dana’s legs turned to jelly, and she fell to her knees. Tears trickled out from her eyes, burning her already stinging cheek. This shouldn’t have happened. It shouldn’t have. So many words scrambled through her mind, and every attempt to put them in a coherent form was futile.

Voices echoed in her brain. Angry voices.

“Dammit, lady! You need to control your children!”

“Do you have any idea how much you embarrassed me?!”

“They say children grow up as they were raised! It’s no wonder Mary turned out the way she did! It’s all your fault!”

Rage bubbled from inside her. Edith was wrong. She just had to be. She didn’t know what living with Mary was like. How could she possibly know what was right for Mary? Dana couldn’t bring herself to believe she herself was the problem. How could she, when she put so much work into proving that she wasn’t?

“Listen to Mary? Why not listen to me for once in my damn life? I’m the one who’s scared and miserable!”

Edith couldn’t be right about this. She just couldn’t.

But...was she?

Chapter Text

“Wooow!” The train cars never ceased to leave Mary struck with awe. “It’s a car full of boxes!” Mary exclaimed, when the trio walked into the next car. Aside from one large, open path, the car consisted of nothing but piles and mountains of empty cardboard boxes. There was no sign of a ceiling, so it looked as though the boxes were reaching right into heaven. Many of them had indistinct labels that nobody recognized.

Vic bristled, crouching down on top of Blanca’s head. “Ugh. Those things look like they might fall over at the slightest touch,” His voice trembled as he spoke. All of the boxes were bigger than he was, and he was sure they’d kill him if they were to topple over, even though they were all empty.

Mary looked up at the towering boxes, and none of them wobbled. One box near the bottom caught her attention. It was open, lop-sided, and laying on its side. A little fun didn’t hurt, right? With that thought in mind, Mary crawled over to the box, placed it on her head, stood back up, arms raised, and gave a mock monster roar.

“Raaawr! I am the Box Monster!” Mary proclaimed, lowering her voice, though her monster impression wasn’t very convincing, not that she cared. “Fear me, lowly mortals!”

Blanca gave a chuckle. “My word! What a terrifying beast!” She pretended to coil backward in fear, raising her arms up as though she were under attack, though she made no effort to sound convincingly frightened. She was smiling the entire time. “Whatever shall we do?”

Gradually, Vic’s body relaxed as he leaped off of Blanca’s head and onto Mary’s box helmet. “Lucky for me, I can chew through boxes easy!” He exclaimed, immediately chomping down on the cardboard, and at a faster speed than regular hamsters. His teeth cut through the limp material, and within fifteen seconds, he was able to make a hole as big as he was.

It was easy for Mary to get into character. She fell to her knees and gave another faux monster growl. “Nooo! I’ve been defeated by a pesky rodent! Woe is me and my sad destinyyyyy!” Mary cried out with melodramatic flourish.

As soon as her spiel ended, all three of them broke into laughter, with the box falling off of Mary as she did so. Vic rolled off the box and laughed right out loud as he fell on his back. Eventually, the laughter died down, and Mary got back up, with Vic crawling back onto her shoulder.

“I wonder how much farther the exit is,” Blanca mused. “Since we’re going straight, I can only assume we’re bound to see it fairly soon.”

Once Mary got to walking again, she squinted her eyes to see further in. At first, she didn’t see anything other than more boxes, but gradually, a red door came into view. “I see it!” Mary exclaimed, pointing to the exit. Thankfully, it wasn’t long before the trio made it. Mary took it upon herself to open the doors this time around, humming to herself as she skipped outside.

“Another day, another magical train car!” Mary stopped to spin around, her joy at seeing another fun car bubbling over like soda fizz.

The girl only took two steps onto the bridge when the black railing suddenly retracted into the bridge. Blanca saw it and gasped.

“Mary!!” Blanca screamed as she sprouted an arm, wrapped it around Mary, and pulled her right off the bridge. It happened so fast, Mary had almost no time to process the situation. She did see the bridge disconnecting, with both halves folding into the train cars they were attached to. Thankfully, Blanca pulled Mary back to safety, and the three of them watched wide-eyed as the train car in front of them folded its wheels in, rose into the air, and disappeared behind the car they just went through.

“Whoa! Are you okay, Mary?” Vic inquired as Blanca pulled her arm back into herself. “You almost fell off the bridge!”

“I did?” Mary’s brain reeled, as if struggling to catch up to the scene that had played out before her. A new bridge connected the train car they stood up, linking up with another one right in front of them. The girl’s heart pounded in her chest, harder than it usually did. If Blanca hadn’t pulled her back when she did, Mary was sure she would have fallen off the train and grounded into a pancake by the wheels. Only when she finally managed to process the gravity of what might have happened did she realize how dangerous what happened just now was.

“Thanks, Blanca,” Mary murmured, holding Mimi tight to her chest.

The giant marshmallow smiled as she rubbed Mary’s hair with the same hand she used to save her just now. “I’m just happy you’re safe,” Blanca told her reassuringly. “But I do wonder what happened just now. None of the train cars we’ve been through have done this before.”

At this point, Mary didn’t want to think about it. Just the thought of falling off the disconnecting bridge made her feel like she was right at death’s door. She clutched onto Mimi and tried to rock the fear out of her system, reminding herself that she was safe and not going to die. One-One’s warning replayed through her mind, that passengers could very easily just fall off the train and die, with nobody ever knowing it. As much as she liked being on the train and away from Dana, no way did she want to die here. Not when she still had a life to live.

“Why can’t you be more careful, Mary?!” Once again, her mother’s enraged voice bellowed in the confines of her mind. Mary’s body turned sluggish, and her whole being felt heavy and numb. She was sure if her mother were here, she’d use this as an opportunity to scold her on how she should have known better than to run into something dangerous, even when Mary had no idea it even was dangerous, especially if nobody told her about it beforehand.

“Mary?” Blanca whispered, sensing the girl’s distress. “Are you alright?”

Mary couldn’t bring herself to say anything. But she was able to manage a slow nod. Blanca’s warm presence alone was enough to make her body relax. At least around Blanca, Mary didn’t feel like she was continually walking on eggshells, afraid that the slightest crack would send her into a frenzy. After a few minutes, Mary rocked herself back into the present.

“Sorry about that,” Mary said as she stood back up, adjusting the straps on her backpack.

“There’s no need to apologize for being scared,” Blanca reassured her once again.

All of a sudden, Vic let out a yelp, tapping his fist against his palm. “Oh! I think I know what happened just now!” He announced out of nowhere. “Some passengers told me that the train sometimes shuffles the cars around every now and again. Nobody knows why, though.”

“Really? It can do that?” Mary wondered aloud.

Blanca could only shrug. “Who knows?”

Once the three of them took a minute to reorient themselves, they crossed the new bridge to the next train car. Blanca decided to open the red door this time around. Upon traipsing inside, all three of them found themselves stopping in their tracks, in awe of the sight laid before them. A turquoise sky reached farther than the eye could see. Trees adorning billowing clouds of pink cherry blossoms lined stone paths, bright red bridges over clear ponds, and immaculate gardens. Brown roofed shinden-zukuri houses and mansions took up most of the flat landscape, but they were no less captivating to the trio. Everyone’s jaws hung open as they took in the amazing, picturesque town spread out before them.

“Ooooh,” Mary was speechless. For a moment. “No contest, this is the best train car ever, and the prettiest!” She originally pegged the Sweets Car as the best one by virtue of it having endless candy and sweets, but this...replication of an old Japanese town from a thousand years ago dethroned the former. It almost looked like the town from an anime that Reagan had shown her once, but couldn’t quite remember which one.

“The tree flowers are absolutely breathtaking,” Blanca mused, wiping off some pink petals that had fallen on her head.

“They’re cherry blossoms!” Mary exclaimed, raising her hand like she was in school. “That’s what they are!”

Vic gathered a few stray petals from Blanca’s head into a bundle. “I wonder if I can eat these?” He examined the thin, delicate petals in his fingers.

“You can probably grind them with herbs,” Blanca suggested with a smile.

“Yeah, that sounds plausible.”

Mary’s face scrunched up in disgust. Who would ever want to eat flower petals? As much as she liked flowers, she couldn’t fathom why anyone would want to eat flower petals. Birds and rodents were one thing, but people? Mary shook her head to push the image out of her mind. Further up, the trio could see a group of white haired women dressed in tall, black hats and brightly colored kariginu and suikan dancing in slow, drawn out movements, with folded fans in their hands. Men’s hands tapped against wooden drums, and some other people played high pitched music on their wooden flutes. There was one woman with long black hair that cascaded far past her ankles, draped in colorful robes, playing a brown, guitar-like instrument Mary didn’t recognize.

“Wow...so pretty!” Mary stopped to watch, entranced by the performance playing out before her. But when she got closer, she noticed something odd.

She saw lines on the denizens’ mouths going down to their chins. Their skin looked wooden. It wasn’t until she saw one dancer’s sleeves fall to expose their arm that it made more sense. These denizens were wooden mannequins, complete with ball joints in their arms, only life-sized and moving like regular people. Were they elaborate puppets? Mary didn’t see any strings attached to them, so maybe they were sentient, like Blanca. If they weren’t puppets, how were they even moving? Even as questions lingered in her mind, Mary still couldn’t help but watch the slow, choreographed performance. She had to admit, whatever these performances were, they were a lot quieter and more refined than the loud, flashy rock concerts Reagan would watch on the internet.

Vic hopped off of Blanca’s head and onto Mary’s backpack, scuttling onto her shoulder to watch. “What are they?” He asked.

“I don’t know, but I like them!” Mary replied, unable to remove her gaze from the dance.

A low, gurgly rumble from Vic’s stomach was able to do so. Vic held both paws to his stomach, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

“What?! I haven’t had anything to eat in a while!” Vic barked.

Mary winced.

“Why don’t we find a place to sit down and have lunch?” Blanca suggested. “It’s so beautiful here, I think it’d be lovely to eat under the cherry blossoms.”

Both Vic and Mary exchanged knowing glances and nodded. No argument there. It helped that before they went through the box car, they went through a train car that was full of vegetables, both sentient and non-sentient, and the denizens even gave them small bags of whichever vegetables they wanted. Vic thanked them for their kindness by giving them a second edition copy of a rare dictionary he had with him, which made his backpack a lot lighter than it was previously. The trio walked around for a while and managed to find a flat meadow underneath one particularly beautiful cherry blossom tree. The air was fresh with the scent of dewy grass. The three of them sat down and got to eating.

The only vegetables Mary received were some slices of lettuce and carrots chopped into tiny pieces, but since she actually liked them, this was perfectly fine with her. Mary consumed the carrots first, as her father once said that carrots were good for one’s eyes. They were hard, but not so hard that she couldn’t chew through them, and they felt like they had been dipped in water. Just the way she liked them. But as she ate, she still couldn’t quite take her eyes off the dancers draped in white and red. She chewed her food as slowly as possible, wanting to watch them for as long as humanly possible. Had she stayed at home, she never would have seen something like this. Probably not in her entire lifetime. She found herself grateful that she hopped onto the Infinity Train.

Once she finished her food, inspiration struck. She opened her backpack and rummaged through it, pulling out a purple mechanical pencil and a notebook. She laid it down on the grass, positioned herself so she laid down on her stomach, and immediately began writing. The lead-tipped mechanical pencil created letters, words, and then sentences, and Mary’s hand seemed to come to life as she jotted down sentence after sentence. It was as if ideas were pouring out of her head like someone had spilled a jug of water, and she needed to get them out before she lost them. Time seemed to disappear around her as Mary continued to write. She didn’t even notice Vic scuttling up to her until he spoke.

“What’cha doin’, Mary?” Vic asked.

“Writing a story, maybe,” Mary replied.

Vic crawled closer to get a look at what Mary had written.

The white haired fairy, in her crimson and ivory robes, flew across the sky, her dainty wings catching the pink petals that fell from the trees. A rain of flowers, just the way she liked them. Sunlight made her delicate wings sparkle as she danced. Far away, she could see the tall towers, with their red roofs rising into the sky, like they could touch the clouds. To the humans down below, she was just a suttle glimmer of light.

“You spelled subtle wrong,” Vic pointed out.

“I did?” Mary erased the offending word in question. “How do I spell it?”

“S-U-B-T-L-E,” Vic sounded out every letter. Mary quickly wrote it down, but found herself confused.

“Why do they spell it with a B when they don’t even use it in the word?” Mary asked. “My teacher says some letters in some words are silent, but why put them in there at all if you don’t use them?”

Vic pounded on his chest, ready to answer her question. “It’s to change how the word is pronounced. For example, the word fin, like a fish fin, sounds exactly how it should, but the word fine, with the e at the end, isn’t pronounced the same way. The E at the end of fine is silent, but it changes the pronunciation of the vowel by lengthening it.”

Although befuddled by Vic’s verbose word choice, she seemed to get the gist of what he was saying. “So adding letters you don’t use makes people say it differently or makes the word sound longer?”

“Pretty much,” Vic confirmed before stealing a glance at Mary’s writing again. “Is this a story you’re writing?”

“Kinda. I only just came up with the idea, though,” Mary answered. “I don’t know what I wanna do with it yet.”

Vic shrugged. “Nothing wrong with that,” He said. “You’ve got potential as a writer, that’s for sure. You said you want to be one, right?”

“Yep! Sure do!” Mary exclaimed with glee. “I want to draw comic books too, but my drawings stink. There’s this kid I go to school with, Greg, who draws way better than me and no matter how much I practice, I can’t seem to draw people right. Even in art class. They all wind up looking like blobs.”

Having heard the conversation, Blanca inched over to chime in. “There’s nothing wrong with having different skill sets. Some people are good at art and music, and others are good at writing and building things,” Blanca reassured. “What’s important is that you recognize the things you’re good at and cultivate your skills and talents as you grow up. People aren’t born good at everything.”

Blanca raised a good point. Mary knew she wasn’t born able to read and write right off the bat. That was something people had to learn from the ground up. But Mary did take some pride in the writing skills she did have right now. In school, she always got good grades on every spelling test she ever got, barring a few words she didn’t spell right, but those instances were rare. It helped that Mr. Bryant pointed out the correct way to spell the words she messed up on without making her feel like she was somehow a bad person for not getting them right in the beginning. In fact, she overheard Mr. Bryant say to her father once that out of everyone in his class, Mary had the best grades in terms of both spelling and writing, and that she was good at reading quickly and pronouncing words right, even though she often struggled with reading comprehension. As far as Mary was concerned, that was still high praise in and of itself, especially since she often heard other kids in class struggle to so much as read a single sentence whenever they were asked to read out loud.

“I wish some people understood that,” Mary muttered, closing her notebook and putting it back in her backpack. “Is there anything you’re good at, Blanca?”

The giant white marshmallow scratched her head with an arm that sprouted out from her body as she contemplated the question. “Well...many of my friends and family in the Sweets Car have praised my cooking quite a bit, especially my pancakes. But that’s only because I’ve followed the recipe and made them more times than I can count. Besides, I’m hardly the only denizen in there who knows how to cook and bake.”

Considering she lived in a car that was literally a land of candy and sweets, Mary and Vic assumed that was a given. Somebody had to have made all that food somehow. “Well, they’re right, because the pancakes you made for me back then really were tasty!” Mary proclaimed, smiling all the while.

Blanca said nothing, but Mary could tell she appreciated the praise. She turned back to Vic. “How about you, Vic? Do you have anything you’re good at?”

Vic flashed a prideful grin. “Sure do! Designing houses, for one, if my house is anything to go by!” He proclaimed with gusto. “I’m also good at chewing through anything! Cardboard, plastic, metal, wood, you name it, I can chew holes through it!”

Mary stifled a chuckle, finding the idea of Vic chewing through metal hard to believe. How could a hamster be able to chew through metal? Then again, he was a talking hamster on a magical train. Anything could be possible at this point.

“I’m also one of the few hamsters in the Hamster Car who knows how to read and write,” Vic hastily added. “Most of the others aren’t all that interested in learning how to do those.”

Perhaps they had their reasons for not wanting to learn reading and writing. That was what Mary assumed. Blanca spoke up next. “I’m sure you have things you’re good at, Mary.”

Mary did a double take. “Me?” She pointed to herself. “Well…” Upon hearing Blanca and Vic’s talents, she found herself bashful. Were any of Mary’s talents even any good compared to theirs? She couldn’t cook, being a child, and reading and writing were things every kid had to learn at some point. Obviously, her teeth weren’t strong enough to chew through metal and wood. She always thought the things people were good at were the big, notable talents that everyone would notice. Dancing, singing, science, math, carpentry, architecture, playing an instrument, sports. Just because Mary knew how to spell big words, it didn’t mean everyone else would think it was something to celebrate.

Showing her mother the math test she got an A on certainly proved as such. Her mother didn’t care at all that she aced a math test. All she cared about was that Mary didn’t look her in the eye. The memory made Mary’s body deflate as she finished the rest of her vegetables.

“...Nobody likes the stuff I’m good at,” Mary found herself muttering, wrapping her arms around herself as if she was trying to stop herself from crying. “Most people I know care about big stuff, like sports and music and science and dancing, and I can’t do any of that. I know how to spell big words, but lots of people can do that, especially grown-ups. And…” She let the sentence drift off, and there was an awkward silence between the trio for a moment.

“All anyone wants me to be is normal.”

A single cherry blossom petal settled on top of Mary’s head. She shivered as a light breeze brushed past, but not because of the breeze itself.

Unsatisfied with the answer, Vic crawled up Mary’s leg and stood on her knee. Before Blanca could stop him, he said, “I know it’s probably rude of me to pry like this, but I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while. What’s your deal, exactly? How come you wound up on the train?”

“Vic, she might not be comfortable mentioning it,” Blanca slid over, her creased eyebrows furrowing with concern. “I don’t—”

“No. It’s okay, Blanca,” Mary cut her off gently. “I’m ready to talk about it now.”

She had agonized over whether she should tell Vic about it. Telling Blanca was one thing, but she was unsure about whether to tell Vic about it or not. But his recent actions in previous cars had proven to her that he could be trusted. Plus, unlike other people she knew, she trusted Vic to be straight with her. He wasn’t one to sugarcoat anything he said, even when he was being nice about it. Maybe he could offer some insight about it. At this point, now was the time to take the lid off.

“To tell you the truth, Vic…I ran away from home,” Mary began, her voice shaking as she told him her story. “I found out my mom hates me because I’m autistic. It’s hard to explain. The doctors say I have something called…autism, and it makes my brain different from the other kids,” As much as she wanted to tell Vic, she was sure this particular detail would leave him stumped. How could a hamster in a magical train know what autism is, even with his knowledge and massive collection of books?

“Oh! I think I know what that is! But let me check to make sure my facts are straight!” Vic exclaimed, scuttling down Mary’s leg, up into his backpack, and pulled out a large book with a bright orange and yellow cover. He laid it down on the grass and immediately began turning pages. “Let’s see…if this is correct, autism is a neurological condition that’s characterized by difficulties with social interaction and communication, increased level of sensory processing, and patterns of repetitive behavior.”

“Erm…could you describe it a little more simply, please?” Blanca asked politely.

“Basically, an autistic person’s brain is structured and wired differently from other peoples’, and because of that, they find it difficult to act in ways that others perceive as normal,” Vic clarified, reading through a simpler description he found on another page.

Mary could only stare, wide-eyed. She had no idea Vic had a book about autism. She wondered if she should have asked him about that sooner, had she known about this previously. But she had no idea what sensory processing was, and since Vic got the gist of it, she felt no need to ask him about it.

“That’s pretty much it,” Mary confirmed. “Stuff is a lot harder for me than it is for other kids,” She continued on with the story. “I never know what to say to people, and I don’t want to talk to strangers longer than I have to, unless I want to talk to them. Loud noises like crowds and people yelling and crying babies and rock music hurt my ears, but when I tell other people, they say it doesn’t bother them, but it bothers me. Sometimes it feels like everyone has a rulebook on how to go through life and my copy got lost.”

“Forgive me for interrupting, but if you don’t mind me asking, is your habit of flapping your hands part of it?” Blanca inquired.

Mary nodded. “My dad says so, yeah. I only do it when I’m bored, excited, or really happy. Like if words aren’t strong enough to show how happy I am depending on what it is. Or to shake the feelings out of me, like if I’m happy or angry and can’t keep it all in. But my mom hates when I do it at all, even though Dad and Reagan told her why I do it.”

Vic raised a quizzical eyebrow, but based on the few things Mary had mentioned previously, he was starting to pick up on the implications. “I don’t see what the problem is. I scrape my claws against plastic whenever I want to get my emotions out of my system.”

It felt like a miracle just hearing Vic’s statement just now. He at least understood the need to get the energy and the buzz out of his body. Mary stops to contemplate this a bit, pursing her lips together as she remembered the conversation she had with Blanca about this back in the Sweets Car.

“Back to how I got on the train, I found out that my mom hates that I’m autistic…” Mary continued on. “She always yells at me whenever I do something...or don’t do something. She’s always like, ‘Mary! Don’t flap your hands! Use quiet hands! People are gonna look at us weird because of you!’ ‘Mary! Stop whining! Why do you always have to cause trouble for me?!’ ‘Mary! Look at me when I talk to you! Can’t you be normal for two seconds?!’ ”

The hamster chuckled at the faux nasally voice Mary used to imitate Dana.

“Even when I do everything she says, she’s never happy. She wants me to just magically know stuff, and when I don’t and say I wish she told me, she gets mad and says it’s my job to figure it out. When I’m scared and don’t wanna be someplace, she makes me stay, and gets mad even when I can’t take it anymore. She always...makes me feel like...everything I do is bad, and that I absolutely have to be punished no matter what. It’s like she thinks it’ll make me…normal.”

Neither Vic nor Blanca said a word as Mary spoke. They already saw that Mary started blinking a lot more frequently, like she was trying really hard to prevent an onslaught of tears before they arrived.

Maybe now was the time to mention it. “There was something I didn’t tell you before, Blanca,” Mary stated. “When I told you about Mom before. I was too scared to mention it.”

Blanca flashed a warm smile. “Take your time, Mary. There’s no rush. I had a feeling there was more to it, but I didn’t want to press the issue.”

Even when she first met Blanca, Mary could tell the marshmallow felt there was never an obligation for her to tell the whole story. All Blanca had ever wanted was to be the greatest support as possible for Mary. To listen and allow her to be heard for once. That patience and complete dearth of malice convinced Mary that now was the time to say what she had been hiding. Now she didn’t feel scared to tell her and Vic about it, even though just thinking about that detail made her want to hide forever.

“I woke up one morning and saw my mom had a website on her computer,” Mary choked the words out, slouching a little further, with her arms tighter around her body. “It turned out it was a blog she made.”

“Umm, what’s a blog?” Vic asked.

It took a minute for her to remember, but Mary recalled Reagan explaining this to her once. “My sister said a blog is like…a digital journal, where somebody can write about anything they want, like their feelings or talk about how their day went.”

“So it’s like a diary?”

“Sort of. A diary’s more private. My sister said a blog is something you want people to see, and you don’t want people to look into your diary.”

Blanca nodded. “That makes sense.”

“Anyway…my mom made a blog about me. Or…rather, complaining about me and saying bad things about me,” Mary swallowed, but pushed on. “She says all I do is ruin her life, that I’m a bad kid who’ll never be like everybody else, how we never go anywhere or do anything because she says I throw tantrums, that I’m too stupid to remember my manners or how to be polite, and that me flapping my hands makes people look at us weird, all that kind of stuff.”

“That’s stupid!” Vic shouted, slamming his hands onto his book. “She has no right to talk trash about you like that! I mean, sure you can be fussy at times, but what kid isn’t fussy at some point in their lives? And I highly doubt that warrants claiming that you somehow ruined her life! Furthermore, Blanca and I have known you for…what? A little over a week? And you’ve never thrown a tantrum even once.”

Just seeing Vic stand up for her like this made a smile spread across Mary’s face. It reminded her of all the times Reagan told off her mom for…whatever she claimed Mary did or said. But did Vic really have to say she was fussy?

“I know, right? I know there are times when I screamed or cried because a light was too bright or noises were too loud, or people kept touching me even when I told them to stop, but that’s not a tantrum last I checked,” Mary agreed. “My teacher said a tantrum is when you…deli…berately…” She carefully sounded out the word Mr. Bryant had used once, hoping she said it right. “Fall to the floor and scream because you want something and can’t get it, like ‘If you don’t give me candy right now, I’m gonna scream and throw your stuff and break everything!’ I never do that, because Dad says that’s not nice.”

“I concur,” Blanca said after she finished eating a carrot. “I don’t know what you were like in your home world, but based on the time we spent together, even I can see you’re nothing like your mother makes you out to be. She really shouldn’t be going out of her way to continually punish you because of something that’s out of your control.”

Vic nodded in agreement. “You got that right. It sounds like your mom’s a real piece of work.”

When he said that, Mary remembered a phrase Reagan had used lots of times. “That’s an understatement. The day before I got on the train, we all went to a bookstore to have some fun and go shopping,” Mary said, returning to the story. “I got bored because the check out…thing was taking a long time, so I flapped my hands and imagined I was riding a unicorn. But Mom saw me, put her hands on me to make me stop, and screamed in my face. I tried to break free because she was really loud and her touching me hurt really bad, but when I did, she jumped on me and pushed me down on the floor and…uhh…” Mary found herself fumbling at how to describe what happened. “Is there a word for when somebody puts their body on you and won’t let you escape?”

“Pin you down?” Vic suggested.

“Yeah! That!” She had no idea there was a word for it. Now she knew, and looking back, that phrase described what happened perfectly. “I felt one of her knees on my back, and her fingernails cut into my wrists. See?” Mary pulled her sleeves back to show Vic and Blanca the faint, crescent shaped marks on her wrists. They were healing, so they weren’t bright and bloody like they were before. “Other people saw it, too.”

Blanca’s mouth fell ajar. All Vic could say in response was, “And she says YOU were the one throwing a tantrum?”

Hearing Vic ask that question made the whole incident sound even more pointless. It made Mary realize the incident in and of itself was, indeed, pointless.

“She always says stuff to me like ‘Mary! Stop doing those weird things! You’re making people stare at us! What do you think the neighbors would say if they caught you acting like a ninny?!’ And this wasn’t even the first time she did that to me either. I wish there was some way I could show you what happened,” Mary lamented. “Telling you just doesn’t feel like it really…uhh…conveys how bad it was for me.”

Blanca shook her head. “We believe you, Mary. Like I said to you before, you can’t ever not be autistic, and that’s okay. I think it’s understandable that you’ve finally had enough of being treated the way you have been.”

It wasn’t just that Mary had had enough of her mother’s constant complaining and need to control every aspect of her life. Alongside her increasing heartbeat, the words she saw on the entry that changed everything returned to her mind. Even though she felt comfortable enough to tell them about the blog itself, she still didn’t have it in her to share that particular entry. It was too terrifying.

“That, and…I was afraid. Afraid that if I stayed home…Mom might do something horrible to me,” Mary said, trying to make sure her voice didn’t shake. But her companions heard it plain as day.

Vic finished eating a sunflower seed as he listened, waiting for Mary to stop before speaking up. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but from what you told us, it sounds like your mom cares way too much about what other people think of her. It’s like trying to manhandle you all the time is her way of trying to get some kind of validation.”

“Vali…what?” Mary was stumped at the new word.

“Validation. It means confirming that something’s true or correct,” Vic explains. “In this context, it seems like your mother thinks manhandling you in public will make people see her as some kind of long-suffering parent dealing with a bratty kid all the time. Maybe the blog is her way of trying to get sympathy from people who don’t know the full story.”

It was as though a light shone through thick, gray clouds. Everything Vic said suddenly put everything into place. It all made sense. Another blog entry she remembered popped into mind. It had been written when Mary was five years old.

One of my friends invited me to her house today. Todd was with Reagan at music practice, and I can’t trust any babysitters with Mary, so I had to bring her with me. At first, Patty didn’t mind, and she seemed to like the idea of meeting Mary. But Mary wouldn’t make eye contact with her no matter what. I tried to make her look at her, as that’s basic social propriety 101, but she kept wanting to either hide behind me or escape somewhere else. God only knows what she’d do if I let her run wild in someone else’s house, so I tried to restrain her as much as I could. It wasn’t until I grabbed her chin and made her look that she finally relented. Patty had this look on her face that seemed like she was put off by Mary’s behavior.

After that, things were fine. We had a nice lunch, and I got to hear about her daughter taking woodworking classes at high school. Honestly, I still find myself stumped that girls these days are allowed to pursue interests, hobbies, and jobs that are more masculine-oriented. When I was younger, even the idea of that happening at all was considered unacceptable. I know my mother would have thrown a fit, saying something like, “What idiot would let their daughter take woodworking classes?! Utterly disgraceful! This whole world is going to pot!” I remember telling my mother once I wanted to build robots, like the Transformers toys my brother would let me play with all the time. She spanked me five times, absolutely frothing at the mouth just at the thought. She was a child of the fifties, and her parents drilled it into her head that a woman’s only role in life is to be the perfect wife to her husband, the perfect mother to her children, and to only remain in the home, nothing else. To do otherwise was social suicide, guaranteed to make you a pariah whose sins would never be forgiven. Those were the fifties values her parents drilled into her, and she tried to drill into me. I remember being so upset that I was forbidden from not only playing with my brother’s toys and watching the same cartoons he did, but that I wasn’t even allowed to take the computer electives in high school.

Back to the subject at hand, at one point, I saw Mary approach Patty’s son Wentworth. Apparently he was looking at a My Little Pony book, and Mary started babbling about it to him, almost non-stop. It took everything I had not to duct-tape her mouth shut. Dr. Goldman told me very clearly that an autistic child cannot be allowed to go on tangents about their interests. It’d be one thing if it was just a sentence or two, but a whole barrage of non-stop information about one thing, at the expense of everything else…it was utterly humiliating. I could see the looks on everyone’s faces. I jumped right on Mary and told her to stop, telling her that Wentworth wasn’t interested. He kept saying he was, but what does he know? I took Mary aside and tried to explain to her why her behavior was unacceptable, but she just acted like a brat through the whole thing. Not long after, I heard Patty say to her husband:

“I don’t know about you, but Dana’s daughter is creepy and weird.”

I heard Wentworth say she was full of it, but I knew I couldn’t stick around after that. All I wanted was to spend time with a friend, and Mary just had to ruin it. Next time I take her to ABA, I’m telling them to be even more strict with the next session and every session after that.

Mary only vaguely remembered that day in question, but she did remember that kid Wentworth and that he liked My Little Pony like she did. She remembered that he was nice, and was genuinely interested in what she had to say. But reading that particular entry brought the memories back in full force, like a dam had broken after holding back too much water. Vic’s statement shed a lot of light on her mother’s behavior. Every time Mary wanted to be herself or indulge in her stimming, or even talk to other kids about her own interests, her mother was always on her like a hawk, often scolding her for it, and very loudly, at that, raising her voice like she wanted anyone who was nearby to know it.

“Yeah. Now that you’re saying it like that, everything makes a lot more sense now,” Mary said with a sigh.

“Of course, we don’t know that for sure, so we can only speculate,” Blanca pointed out. “But none of that excuses the way she’s treating you. Not by a long shot.”

Hearing this, Mary scooted closer to Blanca, nuzzling her side. The marshmallow sprouted an arm and snaked it around Mary, stroking her arm in reassurance. Knowing that they were on her side was the most heavenly thing in the world.

“There is one thing that bothers me,” Vic said. “Hey, Mary? When you first found out about the blog, did you tell your dad and sister about it?”

Mary shrunk into herself. “No. It was really early in the morning, they were sleeping, and I was so scared, I felt like I had to get away as soon as possible. Plus…” She used one of her hands to knead a part of her sweater sleeve. “I think they might be in on it.”

Both Vic and Blanca exchanged confused expressions. “The blog, you mean?” Blanca asked.

Mary nodded, her voice reduced to a pained mumble. “They say they love me and they’re not mean to me like Mom is, but…Mom talked about them on the blog, too. She doesn’t say mean things about them on there like she does me,” Her form grew smaller as she buried her face into Blanca’s squishy skin. “What if they’re lying? What if they’re only pretending to love me and actually agree with everything Mom says?”

Silence fell on the trio as they contemplated what Mary said just now. Blanca had no idea what to say. She could only stroke Mary’s arm comfortingly.

On the other hand, Vic narrowed his eyes. “Let me get this straight…you’re convinced your dad and sister secretly hate you just because your mom mentioned them on her blog?” Vic almost surprised himself from the question that came out of his mouth. “And it never occurred to you to just…ask them if they know about it or not?”

“Uhh…” The question was so out of nowhere that it completely threw Mary off. But as much as it pained her to admit it, he wasn’t wrong. Her silence confirmed Vic’s suspicions.

“I think you’re jumping the gun on that one,” Vic told her without mincing words. “You can’t just assume someone knows about something just because they’re mentioned by name on a website. For all we know, your mom might have kept her blog a secret from them. Considering all that you’ve told us, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case.”

“But…but…there’s a chance they might already know about it!” Mary found herself raising her voice without meaning to.

“You don’t know that for sure unless you ask them straight out.”

“They might lie to me! Just like Mom has on a bunch of things!”

“Again, you don’t know that unless you ask,” Vic pointed to Mary’s cellphone.

She looked down, realizing what Vic was inferring. Her cell phone worked, so it was possible she could text them. They texted her, and their messages actually went through, so maybe she could ask them that way. In the back of her mind, she knew this subject was bound to come up sooner or later. But the possibility of the potential answers filled her with dread.

“I can’t do it,” She nudged her cellphone away with her shoe. “I don’t wanna answer their texts. I can’t tell them I’m on a magic train. They’ll never believe me!”

“You don’t have to mention the train,” Vic reminded her. “They have been trying to contact you, right? They’re probably worried sick about you. You’re not trying to remove them from your life, are you?”

Mary had no answer. Again, her silence spoke volumes.

“I’m going to be blunt here, it’s not cool of you to just ghost them like that. If they’re reaching out to you right this minute, you ought to at least let them know you’re safe,” Vic didn’t mince words. “They probably think you’re dead or got kidnapped. If they really didn’t love you, I highly doubt they’d even bother reaching out to you.”

Every word Vic spoke was like thorns spiking her heart. Not because she didn’t like what he was saying, but because…he was right. About everything. She picked up her phone and turned it on, and a new text appeared, sent by her father.

Mary. Please let us know you’re okay. We miss you so much.

Did they? Did they really miss her? She was sure Dana didn’t. But as she contemplated Vic’s suggestion, she found herself wondering…maybe she was wrong. Maybe she did just jump to a conclusion based on literally nothing and let herself think the worst about several people who actually did care about her. Why would they actually bother to call Dana out on her treatment of her if they didn’t?

“Vic does raise a valid point, Mary,” Blanca whispered in her dulcet voice. “At least send them one text letting them know you’re alive and safe. It’d be terrible if they thought something awful happened to you. I know if any of my children just disappeared without telling me, I’d be worried out of my wits, scared that something terrible happened to them. You don’t have to be specific about where you are. You can even ask them about the blog. If they really don’t know about it, then it’s okay to realize that you were wrong. That’s how people grow, by learning from their mistakes. Of course, if it really does turn out they know about the blog and agree with what your mother says, then you have every right to feel angry and betrayed, and know that you’re not inherently responsible for the decisions they make, even if they may try to claim such.”

“Besides, it’s not like your mom can do anything to you while you’re here,” Vic reminded her.

That was true. Ever since Mary had gotten on the train, she didn’t have to deal with her mother constantly hovering over her, scolding her over everything big and small, or making her feel like crap just because she wasn’t perfect. Mary took her cell phone in her hand, and it felt oddly heavy. Like it was an extra weight that she didn’t need. So many questions lingered in her mind. What if she texted them and they decided to show Dana? Would they want her to come home because they missed her, or because Dana would be angry if she didn’t? Mary didn’t want to go back home. Not when Dana might be planning to do something horrible to her.

But Blanca and Vic did make good points. She couldn’t just keep ignoring her father and sister. This was one of the few ways she could really confirm if they did know about the blog or not.

“Vic, did you really need to be so blunt?” Mary heard Blanca ask. “You could have said what you did a little more gently.”

“Come on, Blanca. Some truths can’t be sugar coated,” Vic told her. “I’d rather someone be straight with me and tell a harsh truth than a kind lie. Stuff like that just makes things worse in the long run.”

A harsh truth…this was something Mary understood all too well. The blog’s whole existence and everything Dana wrote in it changed everything for Mary. Had she not known about it, who knows what could have happened? For all she knew, Dana might have sent her to another weird doctor, probably one worse than all the other ones she had to deal with. She shook her head. Vic was right. There was nothing that could sugarcoat the fact that Dana hated her, no matter how much she’d try to portray otherwise. Being on the train taught her so much more in a week than all the weird doctors she was made to put up with for several years ever could.

“Still, you have to remember she’s a young child,” Blanca continued. “She may not—”

“No, Blanca. It’s okay,” Mary cut her off again, this time with a self-assured smile. “I’m glad Vic said what he did. It was…hmmm…” Mary struggled to find a word that described how she felt right now. “Is there a word that means you know more than you did before and suddenly everything makes a lot more sense?”

“Enlightening.”

Yes. That was it. Enlightening. Both the blog and her time on the train had been so enlightening, both in good and bad ways. It was like Vic had said before in the Black Market Car: good friends tell you when you do something wrong when it actually matters, not constantly like Dana always did. At least in the train, Dana wouldn’t be here to tell her what to type, what to say, how to say it, and only in the way Dana wanted it.

“I can do it now,” Mary announced, holding her cellphone in both hands. Somehow, it felt lighter than it did before.

With resolve in her heart, Mary pulled up the texting app and started typing.

On a cloudy Wednesday afternoon, Adam Bryant sat in the teacher’s lounge, finishing his tuna sandwich and packing up his lunch box. Around this time, it would be recess for the kids, and Adam usually liked to use that time to get back to his classroom and prepare for the rest of the day. This had been his routine in all the decades he spent working at Woodland Hills Elementary School, and he loved every minute of it. Unfortunately, this time around, every day he spent felt like a blur. Like he was on auto-pilot in an attempt to placate the kids. Having a student go missing, with barely any concrete information on what actually happened to them, can do that to a teacher.

Upon first hearing that Mary Summers went missing, Adam did all he could to help look for her whenever he wasn’t in school. Joining search parties, passing out the flyers her family made, asking for information from the kids, like if they saw anyone suspicious around or if Mary was acting strangely, telling the police about Dana’s treatment of her…he had even taken it upon himself to get Mary’s name out on social media. The more people that knew about her and could look for her, the better. But there was still no sign of Mary anywhere. It was like she had just vanished into thin air. There was no possible way a child could just vanish, but the possibilities were equally frightening and dreadful.

I’ve done everything I feasibly can for now. Adam told himself, knowing the police were the ones to handle actually looking for her. But he wondered if he was lying to himself.

There was also Dana to consider. Adam had known for a long time that she wasn’t exactly an ideal parent, and had been cruel to Mary on several occasions. The incident at the Carnegie Science Center two years ago was the worst he had ever seen, and made sure to report it as soon as the kids went home after coming back from the trip. But he knew the justice system wasn’t perfect. Reporting it wasn’t going to simply solve everything and make things hunky-dory. He had learned of many other cases where multiple people reported children being abused, and CPS did absolutely nothing about it, even with signs of abuse staring them right in the face, especially when removing an abused child from the house would have saved their lives.

Adam tasted bile in his mouth as he reached his classroom. He’d never be able to forgive himself if something had happened to Mary. Especially if Dana likely had something to do with it. But he knew dwelling on it was pointless. The kids needed him, and he needed to prepare lessons for the rest of the day.

When he went inside, he expected the classroom to be empty. It was, save for one student. A boy with shaggy dark red hair sat hunched over his desk, writing on worksheets Adam had given out as homework. Adam recognized him right away.

“Greg? What are you doing here?” Adam asked.

“Huh?” Greg looked up, meeting his teacher’s eyes. But with a huff, he went back to writing in his worksheet. “I just thought I’d get homework done early is all.”

This was odd. Greg usually relished the idea of leaving the classroom and hanging out with his friends at recess. He was always restless during lessons, often changing seating positions like he could never get himself comfortable. Adam could relate, as he himself was like that when he was a child, only back then, kids didn’t have modern technology like smartphones and digital tablets. As much as he liked that Greg took his lessons and homework seriously, he did wonder why Greg, being as energetic and boisterous as he is, would even want to skip recess and do his homework early.

“Is it okay if I sit with you?” Adam suggested. “I can help you if there are problems you’re struggling with.”

“Sure. Whatever,” Greg accepted his offer nonchalantly.

Permission secured, Adam pulled out a chair from one of the desks and sat next to Greg, watching as he wrote answer after answer like it was nothing. Greg did have his fair share of behavioral issues, like fighting with other kids, stealing, and talking during class, which he had told his parents about many times, but he always managed to get decent grades. C’s and B’s at most, so Adam knew Greg was smarter than he usually let on. Maybe there was a reason for his recent streak of acting out, and maybe it had something to do with why he willingly chose to skip recess. As a teacher, Adam knew it was his job not just to provide kids education, but to hear them out and make them feel safe. Kids needed people to listen to them, not just bark orders at them and tell them what to do.

And he knew just how to start that conversation.

“Earlier today, Mrs. Palencia showed me one of the drawings you made in art class. The one you made of Zion Storms.”

Immediately, Greg lit up. “Oh! She showed you? I got an A for that picture! Let me guess, you know about Air Cavalry Chronicles too?”

Air Cavalry Chronicles was a new video game that had come out a few short years ago. Adam knew about it, as he himself played it on his XBox whenever he needed to unwind after a hard day. In fact, he had completed the game and was doing another run to unlock the bonus content. It was about a triad of kingdoms at war with one another over various natural resources, using aircraft that transformed into robots to engage in battle. It was aimed at teenagers, with the rating indicating as such, but it had become surprisingly popular with younger kids. Zion Storms was the name of the main character. Adam had seen Greg draw him multiple times, even submitting drawings of him for class assignments, adjusting them to fit the requirements of said assignments whenever possible.

“Yep. I’ve played through it quite a bit,” Adam told him.

“Man, Zion is sooooo cool!” Greg exclaimed, his smile so big, Adam could see his two front teeth, one of which had been slightly chipped at the tip. “I wanna be just like him when I grow up!”

“Exactly what is it about Zion that you love so much?” Adam asked.

That was all it took for Greg to go on a tangent. “He’s awesome! He’s cool, strong, slices bad guys with his sword, and doesn’t take crap from anybody! He takes whatever he wants when he wants and doesn’t care what other people think, and he’s tough as nails!”

The pieces were falling into place, especially now that Adam remembered Zion’s overall personality.

“How about you? Do you like Zion?”

Oh boy. Adam was sure telling Greg the truth would break his heart. But if his hunch was right, maybe telling the truth might help get to the root of Greg’s recent behavioral issues. “Personally, Zion’s not my favorite. I think he’s a selfish jerk.”

“Whaaat? How come? He’s cool!” Understandably, Greg couldn’t help but whine upon hearing his teacher say he didn’t like Zion.

“Well…he may seem like a cool guy, but in real life, a person who acts like Zion would be pretty intolerable,” Adam began to explain. “Do you remember that Zion is always insulting his friends and making dismissive comments at them, even when they don’t do anything to deserve it? And doesn’t listen to them when they try to help him and give him advice?”

“So? He’s his own boss. He doesn’t have to listen to anybody!”

“But had he listened to Morrigan and not stolen the Crimson Diamond like she said, the kingdoms of Hyzante and Wolfort wouldn’t have gone to war with one another, resulting in all those needless deaths. Personally, I don’t think I’d ever want to be friends with someone who says an innocent child ought to have been kidnapped or should have died.”

Greg’s face contorted into an annoyed look. “Leslie’s so annoying, though! All she does is whine and doesn’t even fight! She’s not cool like Zion is!”

“Personally, I kind of like Leslie and Morrigan,” Adam explained, keeping as calm as he possibly could. “They both understand what’s important and do all they can to make life in their kingdoms as good as possible, even when times are tough. Leslie doesn’t fight, sure, but I don’t think fighting all the time makes someone inherently cool. I like Leslie because she doesn’t want to spend her life being stuck with someone who clearly doesn’t care for her. She wants to make her kingdom a better place in her father’s absence and help her people. She changes the mining laws and makes working conditions safer for the mythic ore miners so they can work safely and return home to their families. Morrigan even helps find the emerald dragon all on her own and convinces him to join her cause when Zion wasn’t able to convince him to do so due to how abrasive he is.”

For a moment, silence fell between them. It was like Greg didn’t know what to say. After a minute or two, Greg spoke again, his once vibrant smile turning into a frown. “I wonder if that’s why my friends don’t like me anymore…”

“What do you mean?” Adam asked. “If you’re comfortable, would you like to talk about it?”

Another silence, though it was shorter than last time. “I…I’ve been trying to be more like Zion. I wanted to impress my friends if I acted more like him.”

So that was it. Greg was trying to emulate the personality of his favorite video game character. “Is that why you stole things from other kids and said the things you did about Mary going missing?”

Reluctantly, Greg nodded. “Zion does that stuff all the time and everybody likes him. But…Tyrus and the guys stopped hanging out with me after a while. They said I’ve turned into an edgy poser,” His voice lowered to a sad murmur as he looked up at his teacher. “Is that why you don’t like Zion?”

Adam crossed his arms, unsure of how to go about this. But he did know this needed to be nipped in the bud. “Well, Zion is just a video game character. A fantasy. Just because someone like him may seem cool and awesome in a game, doesn’t mean their actions will be seen as such in real life.”

The pieces began falling into place. “Let me ask you something, Greg,” Adam said. “Is there anyone in your family you’re closest with?”

Greg’s smile returned. “That’s easy! My dad! He’s the coolest! He plays video games with me and takes me to the bowling alley sometimes! And he helps me with my homework whenever I need help!”

“Let’s pretend that one day, your father just went missing out of nowhere. How would you feel?”

Greg stopped to contemplate the question, and his smile wavered. “...I’d be sad and worried.”

“And what would you do or say if somebody just came up to you and said that they were happy your father was gone, maybe going so far as to say he wished he was dead?”

That was all it took for Greg’s face to contort in anger. “I’d beat them up! Nobody talks trash about my dad!”

In that moment, the realization hit Greg like a truck. Adam could see it as well. As soon as those words left his mouth, the memory of Caitlin getting angry at him last week came rushing back, and his whole body deflated. “Oh…”

“Do you see what I’m trying to get you to understand, Greg?” Adam asked. “Someone going missing is a very serious matter, and even if you might not know the person or even be friends with them, making light of their disappearance can make their family and friends sad or angry. I’m trying to get you to see it from their perspective, because it could happen to anyone, even you, and I know you’d be sad if someone said something like that about your parents or your big sister.”

Greg said nothing as he processed the realization, but as far as Adam was concerned, his silence spoke volumes. Adam only hoped he didn’t unknowingly overstep a boundary, because that was the last thing he wanted to do.

“But you like Mary more than the rest of us,” Greg muttered. “You always get mad at me whenever I—”

Adam held a hand up to silence him. “I don’t like any one student better than anyone else. I’m not sure why you’re convinced I give Mary special treatment, because I don’t,” Adam told him firmly. “Some kids just need a little extra help than others, and there’s no shame in that. Let me put it this way. You know Mrs. Palencia uses a wheelchair, right? The school put in elevators and ramps years ago because people who use wheelchairs need them. That’s not giving special treatment, that’s called accommodating their needs. Besides, whenever you ask me for help, don’t I always come over to help you?”

Greg nodded as he put his worksheet back in a notebook.

“My job as a teacher isn’t just to teach you guys math and spelling. It’s also my job to teach you right from wrong, about good choices and bad choices,” Adam continued on. “That’s the reason I’ve tried to talk to you and your parents about your recent behavior. It’s not because I hate you or anything. It’s because I don’t want you growing up making the kinds of bad decisions that could hurt your chances of having a future. It’s okay to make mistakes when you’re a kid, because that’s how people learn from them. But when you become an adult, some decisions can have very severe consequences that aren’t easily resolved with just an apology and a call to your parents. If you were an adult and, say, stole jewelry from a store, you could get arrested and sent to jail for years.”

Greg shivered at the thought. Appropriate enough. But he didn’t want to scare him, so he put a reassuring hand on Greg’s shoulder. “I’m not trying to scare you, Greg. I just want you to stop and think before doing something you might regret and about how your actions might hurt other people, even if you think you’re not doing so. This includes Mary.”

The red haired boy fell silent for another brief moment, then spoke again. “You’re not gonna force me to be friends with Mary when she comes back, are you?”

Adam shook his head. “Nope. That’s not my decision to make. You’re free to choose whichever people you want to be friends with,” He told him. “But you said you wanted to be more like Zion and impress your friends. I take it that hasn’t worked, now has it?”

“No.”

“I probably shouldn’t overload you with so much information at once,” Adam stood up. “I’ll be at my desk preparing for the rest of the day. I’m always here to talk if you need me.”

He walked over to his desk and sorted through some papers while Greg remained where he was. As the clock hit 12:40, Greg stood up and walked over to him. “Mr. Bryant?”

“Hm?”

“Umm…thanks. For listening to me,” Greg mumbled shyly.

Adam could only smile. “You’re welcome.

“And, umm…tomorrow I’ll tell everyone I’m sorry. For being a jerk,” Greg pushed the words out. “If Mary comes back, I’ll say sorry to her too, and…try not to be mean anymore.”

Adam reached out to put a hand on Greg’s shoulder. “That’s a good start. I believe in you.”

For the first time since Mary disappeared, Adam didn’t feel like he was lost in a daze. Even if he couldn’t help Mary at the moment, at least, for now, he made somewhat of a small difference.

Reagan sat in her bedroom playing her oboe in solitude. But the music just wasn’t coming out right no matter how much she practiced. She could only assume it was because Mary’s disappearance was still weighing on her. Of course it did. Then again, she had been stuck in her room for most of the day since she came back from school. Mainly because her parents were arguing, and she wanted no part of her mother’s hysterics. At least playing the oboe was better than listening to her mother scream about whatever real or imagined slight set her off this time. After half an hour of playing, she stopped, sighing as she set it down on her desk. Everything felt like it was thrown out of alignment now that Mary was gone. As far as she knew, the police were no closer to finding her than they were before.

“Uuugh…” Reagan slumped down on her bed and groaned, having no energy to do anything else at the moment. She already finished her homework in study hall, so she didn’t have to worry about that. Normally she would talk to her friends, on the phone or over social media, but she couldn’t bring herself to pretend like everything was normal. Not when Mary was still missing. Her friends were sympathetic and offered support and let her have space whenever possible, so Reagan at least appreciated their consideration.

“Mary…where in the world are you?” A question escaped Reagan’s lips, one she knew she’d have no concrete answer for.

Her cell phone chimed, and the sound made Reagan pull herself up. Who was texting her right now? She reached over to the edge of her bed to grab it, thinking it was probably Oliver or one of her friends. But when she looked at the notification, the name of the sender left Reagan absolutely speechless.

It was… “Mary?!” Reagan screamed, opening up the message.

Hi Reagan. I’m fine. Don’t worry. I wasn’t stolen by some creep. I’m in a safe place. But I mean it when I say I’m not coming back!

“Oh my God…” Reagan thought she was dreaming. She pinched her cheek, hard, assuming the message was fake. She looked back down at her phone, and the message was still there. There was no denying it. Mary had actually responded to one of her many texts!

She was alive! Tears streamed down Reagan’s cheeks as the realization hit her like a truck.

“DAAAAD!!”

Footsteps raced up the stairs, and Todd burst into the bedroom. “Reagan? What is it?”

“Look!” Reagan pointed to her phone, and Todd raced over to look.

“Is that…a response from Mary?!”

“Yes!”

Everything changed. They had been so overcome with despair over the past week. But this message gave them renewed hope, and confirmation of one thing: Mary was alive and safe! However, there were still lingering questions, and both father and daughter knew it. Todd wrapped both arms around his older daughter, pulling her into a hug. The two of them sat together and cried for a good few minutes in sheer relief. But Todd knew there was one important thing that needed to be done. He released Reagan and stood up.

“Reagan. I’m going to call one of the detectives and let them know what’s going on,” Todd told her. “He might call one of his technicians over to see if they can pinpoint Mary’s location using her phone. I need you to stay here and keep texting her. Keep her talking for as long as possible. Call her if you have to. The longer she’s on the phone, the easier our chances of finding her will be.”

That made sense. Reagan had watched plenty of cop shows to know that most police agencies had specialized technicians who could locate someone’s phone with special machines, or using said phone’s GPS system. Now that she knew Mary was alive, Reagan nodded without hesitation.

“But what about Mom? You’re gonna tell her about this, right?”

Todd let out a sigh. “I’ll let her know, but knowing her, she probably has her phone off right now. Lord only knows where she stormed off to right now.”

As of recently, Dana had gotten into the habit of leaving the house for long periods of time whenever she got into arguments with Todd. She would come back, sure, but things were often still very tense even after the fights cleared up. But at this point, finding Mary was more important.

“I have a feeling Mary might open up to you more than your mother and I, since you two are close. Can I trust you to keep her talking?” Todd asked, putting a hand on Reagan’s shoulder as he did so.

It was easy to see the desperation in his eyes. Reagan couldn’t blame him. But now, knowing that Mary was alive changed everything. She gave another assertive nod. “Do you even need to tell me twice? Go call that detective guy!” Reagan told him, shooing him away with one hand.

Todd flashed a smile before sprinting out of Reagan’s room like the house was on fire. Reagan immediately got to work, responding to Mary’s text.

Reagan: Mary!! You’re alive!! I’m so glad! Where in the world are you?! Everyone’s worried sick about you!

Reagan: And why don’t you want to come back?

Her phone pinged. Another message! Upon seeing it, her joy wavered.

Mary: You’re not worried. I bet you’re happy I’m gone. I know Mom is.

Reagan: What are you talking about? Is this about what happened at B&N?

Reagan: Mary, we’re not mad at you.

Mary: Liar! I bet you, Mom, and Dad wish I had never been born! I know you guys hate me because I’m autistic! Stop pretending to love me when you really don’t!

What? This didn’t make sense. This didn’t sound like Mary at all. But it was similar to what she wrote in her note. Reagan needed to get to the bottom of this.

Reagan: That’s not true. We don’t hate you at all.

Reagan: Mary, tell me what’s going on. I won’t know if you don’t tell me. I can’t read minds. Whatever the problem is, tell me and I can help solve it if it’s possible.

There was a brief silence, then her phone pinged again.

Mary: I can’t. You’ll tell Mom, and I don’t want to face her. I can’t take it anymore! I can’t take her being mean to me all the time! I’m sick of it!!

Mary: That’s why I ran away! I don’t wanna go back home! Mom hates me and I know it! Don’t tell me she doesn’t because I have proof she said so! You probably already know about it! Don’t lie to me!!

Proof? What proof? Reagan had a feeling Dana had something to do with it. Oliver did as well, and seeing Mary’s texts only confirmed it. But what did she mean by proof? She knew the Barnes and Noble incident had rattled her pretty hard, but enough that it convinced her to run away? Then again…Dana had always struggled with accepting Mary as being autistic. She practically made it her mission to make Mary…well, not autistic, even though that just wasn’t possible. But was there more to it? Reagan knew she had to dig deeper. She needed answers. They all did.

More than that, she didn’t want her little sister to think she didn’t love her. No way in hell.

Reagan: Mary, I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. But I mean it when I say Dad and I don’t hate you. We miss you so bad. The police are looking for you. We put missing posters up everywhere.

Reagan: Let me ask you. Have I ever lied to you before? And I don’t mean lying about birthday presents or Christmas presents.

There was another silence. Another ping shortly after.

Mary: No.

Reagan: I can assure you I’m telling you the truth right now. If Dad and I hated you, we wouldn’t be putting up missing person posters or spending every second of every day looking for you. And I really don’t know what it is that makes you think we hate you, because we don’t.

Reagan: Please, Mary. We want you to come back home. Just tell us what’s going on. Whatever the problem is, I’ll help solve it! With Dad’s help, if need be!

Reagan: And I’ll make sure Mom doesn’t pull her usual stunts either! If she’s the reason you’re gone, I’ll even tell her flat-out that she can’t keep doing what she’s been doing to you anymore!

Another wave of tears trickled out from Reagan’s eyes, dampening her glasses. But she always wiped them off so she could read every text Mary sent her. At this point, Reagan couldn’t bring herself to blame Mary for running away. Considering all Dana had done to her since her diagnosis, it was only natural that Mary would eventually reach her breaking point. Reagan wished she had done more sooner, that way this never would have happened.

Her phone pinged once more.

Mary: Mom has a blog. I found it on her computer by accident. It’s called A Mother’s Fight Against Autism. It has her name on it. She writes mean things about me on there all the time and complains about me.

Reagan did a double take. Her mother started up a blog? And it was all about complaining about Mary?

Mary: Check if you don’t believe me!

Mary: I have to go. My battery’s starting to die. Sorry Reagan. I can’t come back even if I wanted to. Please, look at Mom’s blog. It’ll tell you everything. Look for the entry written on May 18th, 2018.

“No!” Reagan found herself shouting right as Todd and another man walked through her bedroom door. “Mary! Wait—!!”

The green circle next to Mary’s icon turned white. 

Offline.

Chapter Text

Every day, since he got hired, 28-year-old Todd Summers went to work at city hall, suitcase in hand, ready for anything. He was one of many new recruits who had an easier grasp on newer accounting software than most of the senior workers, who were more accustomed to using things like floppy disk drives and Xerox machines, and those were gradually beginning to get phased out. One cold January day, Todd made his way into the office as usual, a pile of papers in his hand.

“Todd? There you are!” As he walked past some cubicles, a portly middle-aged man with a gray receding hairline approached.

Todd stopped with a smile and greeted him. “Good morning, Frank. Is there anything you need?”

Frank, with his name tag reading F. Baumhauer , was his boss, the head of the accounting department in Woodland Hills City Hall. Behind him, a small, mousy young woman stood, her black hair in a straight ponytail. She was about a foot shorter than Todd, and she wore a white blouse underneath a red blazer, black pants, and black leather shoes. She wasn’t anyone Todd recognized. A new hire, maybe?

“This here is one of the new hires, Dana Fitzpatrick. Dana, this is Todd Summers,” Frank introduced the two of them. “She’s going to be one of our new accountants.”

Understandable. Since the older technology the office was using was getting phased out, it seemed reasonable to hire new people and advance to newer software. Todd smiled, extending his hand out for Dana to shake. The woman shyly took it, and her shake was rather limp, but he didn’t mind. He figured she was just nervous.

“It’s nice to meet you, sir,” Dana said in a low but sweet voice.

“For now, we’re having her get started by having her transfer the data from floppy disks over to the new CDs,” Frank elaborated. “Since you’ve been doing that for a few months already, would you be willing to teach her how it works over the next week or two? I’m sure having some help will make the process move quicker.”

Todd did a double take. He had only been working here for five months, yet his boss was already trusting him to teach a new recruit? It almost seemed too good to be true. But Frank had told him on several occasions that he was very happy with the quality of his work, blown away by how quickly he was able to understand and work with both the old and new software and complete his reports in a timely manner. Or maybe he thought Dana would feel better working with someone who was closer to her own age. She did look to be in her late twenties like he was. Maybe this could be a good opportunity.

With a pleased grin, Todd replied, “Sure. I’d be happy to.”

The training went as follows: For the first week, Todd would shadow Dana and she would watch him do his work to get a grasp on what she needed to do. After that, Dana would put what she learned into practice, with Todd overseeing things until she got comfortable with the process. There was some trial and error, but gradually, Dana got more and more used to transferring data from floppy disks onto actual CDs and learning about the different kinds of software. She also grew less nervous over time. Sometimes, when Todd would go on his break, he would see Dana happily chatting with the other ladies who worked in the same section. There was a new glow about her that Todd couldn’t quite put into words, and she had a particularly merry laugh that sounded…genuine. Like it was stuffed inside a jar for years and finally burst open.

One day, in March, Dana waltzed into the break room with a spring in her step, holding a big box of donuts with one arm. “Everyone! I brought you guys donuts!” She announced with an almost uncharacteristic cheer in her voice.

Everyone, Todd included, stared in awe as Dana happily opened the box before them. There were sixteen donuts in total, all different flavors. Some had sprinkles on them, others had frosting on them, others were perfectly plain.

“Wow! What brought this on all of a sudden?” One of the women asked. Right afterward, two of her coworkers snagged donuts as soon as they saw them.

Dana gave a sheepish giggle as she smiled and rubbed the back of her head with one hand. “Oh, it’s just…you guys have all been so kind to me since I’ve started, I figured I should at least do something for you in return. I don’t get to do this often, so help yourselves.”

Todd slowly took a chocolate frosted donut out from the box with one hand, flashing a grin at Dana as he did so. “That’s very nice of you to think of us, Dana. Thank you so much,” He told her before taking a bite. For just a split second, he saw specs of pink bloom on Dana’s cheeks. Grateful for their new coworker’s generosity, everyone wasted no time taking their chosen donuts and helping themselves.

But this wouldn’t be the last time Dana went out of her way to make her coworkers happy. When another coworker announced they were getting married a month later, Dana purchased a nice little basket full of candies for them, congratulating them for their marriage. Dana always seemed to go out of her way to make everyone’s day a little brighter. Even during happy hour, Dana would illuminate the entire room with her cheer, and she never had a bad word to say about anyone. It was like she brought new life to the office, in more ways than one.

When June came around, work was speeding up, and Todd cherished the half hour he spent in the break room. At one point, a coworker slid into the chair next to him. “Hey Todd! Hot enough for you?”

Todd scoffed. “Oh, wouldn’t you know it? Harold, these past three hours felt like decades stranded in the desert.”

Harold whistled as he adjusted the collar on his shirt. “I really hope the repairman comes in to fix the AC. By the way…” Harold curiously eyed Todd. “Have you asked Dana out yet?”

Ask her out? Todd did a double take, holding his fork in mid-air, with the lettuce close to falling back into his plastic tin. “Why would I do that?”

Harold broke into a chuckle. “Come on, man. Don’t think I can’t tell. You’re totally sweet on her.”

“We’re just friends,” Todd told him, raising an eyebrow.

“Todd, ever since that girl got hired, you go out of your way to talk to her every chance you get,” Harold pointed out. “Half the office thinks you two are dating, and honestly? You two do look pretty cute together.”

That was all it took for Todd’s face to flush red. He and Dana weren’t dating. But…as much as Todd hated to admit it, Harold wasn’t wrong about everything else.

“I just enjoy her company, that’s all. She’s a nice person to talk to,” Todd stammered, but he winced at how forced that statement sounded. “She’s not fake like other girls I used to work with. Besides, girls don’t care about guys like me.”

Well, that was what his self-deprecating brain told him, at the very least. Todd never considered himself much of a looker, much less a chick magnet. Girls never went out of their way to ask him out or fall all over themselves just to get his attention. Especially not during high school. As far as Todd knew, girls like Dana were out of his league. He had always been the frumpy computer nerd with his nose glued into a book, taking his studies more seriously than anyone else he knew. Dating was never a priority.

On the other hand, Harold gently elbowed him. “You might be surprised,” He said. “Why not give it a shot? It’s pretty clear you’re sweet on her. But if you don’t act now, you might not get another chance.”

If there was one thing Todd wasn’t fond of, it was people making dating and marriage out to be the only thing that would make someone feel fulfilled in life, like it was some sort of obligation that absolutely had to be done no matter what. What was wrong with staying single? Dana was nice, sure, and Todd did like her to an extent, but at the moment, he had no interest in dating right now.

“That’ll be my prerogative, thank you very much,” Todd quipped.

Taking the hint, Harold shrugged and went back to eating his lunch. “You’re right. I can’t tell you what to do with your life. Just throwing it out there.”

After that, Todd tried to push the idea out of his mind, but it always found some way to squirm back into his brain. But Harold was right that talking with Dana always made him happy. There were even times where just thinking about her would make his heart beat faster than usual. Was that a sign? Did he…like Dana in that way?

He wasn’t sure. But maybe just one date wouldn’t hurt.

Opportunity arrived in August of 1999, when a relative gave him four free movie tickets he won in a contest out of nowhere. The relative gave Todd the extra two, as he didn’t need them. When his shift at work ended, Todd stood in front of city hall, tickets in hand. It was still light out, and daylight would linger until at least seven or so. Finally, Dana exited the building, her black ponytail bouncing as she walked. Her purse in hand, she was about to dash away, but Todd called out to her.

“Dana!”

That was all it took to make her stop and turn his way. “Hi, Todd,” She greeted him with her usual smile, soft like the delicate petals of a fresh rose. “Great work today.”

“Same to you,” Todd croaked, suddenly unable to get the words out. Now that she was here, it felt like he was standing at the precipice of a tall cliff. But he knew he couldn’t let this chance slip by, no matter how daunting it seemed. He had to do this now. With this mantra in mind, Todd took in a deep breath.

“Listen…are you free this weekend, by any chance?” Todd asked.

Dana took a minute to ruminate, but her answer was quick and succinct. “I don’t have any particular plans. Why?”

The moment of truth. Todd opened his right hand to show Dana the movie tickets. “One of my cousins gave me tickets for this new movie that just came out. American Beauty . I was wondering if…maybe…” Todd stammered as he tried to push the words out. “I’m thinking about going. Would you…I don’t know…maybe…like to come with me?”

It took seconds for Dana to process what he was saying, and he could see the realization in her eyes plain as day. She blinked at him twice, dumbfounded. Did he do something wrong? Todd’s cheeks flushed with heat.

Dana crossed her arms. “Are you…asking me out or something?”

Knowing it’d be impossible to lie to her, Todd sheepishly nodded. She read him like a map. He wondered if she was creeped out.

His worries didn’t come to pass. Dana simply smiled again and said, “Sure! I’d love to go with you! I had been contemplating seeing it.”

She…said yes? Not the actual word, but her answer was just as good. Todd felt on top of the world. “Awesome! So what time do you want to meet at the theater? Maybe seven?”

The two of them discussed their rendezvous and smoothed out their plans before parting ways for the day. When Dana got in her car and drove away, Todd shouted “Yes!” and began jumping around, up and down, in circles, as though he had won the lottery. For once, his insecurities and doubts had no say in what would transpire tomorrow.

True to their word, they both met at the theater in Monroeville. Normally, whenever he went to the movies, Todd put on a plain T-shirt and slacks, but he decided to put in some effort to look nice for his date, so he settled on a white collared shirt, a red necktie, black trousers, and his leather shoes. When he got to the theater, he was struck dumb when he saw Dana standing by the entrance. She had on a lovely knee-length pink dress with artificial roses around the collar, like she was dressed to attend a formal party. Her hair was pulled back into her usual ponytail, which swung when Dana met Todd’s eyes.

“You made it!” Dana exclaimed, turning around to face him.

His voice returned, and Todd reminded himself that it’d be rude to respond. “Sorry if I’m late. Did you have to wait long?”

Dana shook her head. “Only about five minutes, but I don’t mind. I like people watching.”

With his mouth stretching into a grin, Todd walked over to the door and opened it like a gentleman, gesturing for her to come inside. “Ladies first.”

Dana stifled a giggle. “Thank you.”

They decided to attend the 6:30 PM showing, and they sat next to one another in the middle of the theater. However, the movie was…not at all what they expected. The movie was about a middle aged man who was dissatisfied with his life, only getting himself together after developing a crush on a teenaged girl. Todd was turned off after half an hour in the theater, but he didn’t want to be rude and walk out of the theater. Sometimes he would turn Dana’s way and see her eyebrows creased together, looking very uncomfortable. Did she hate the movie as well? Todd chastised himself for not picking a better movie for them to watch.

When Todd’s eyes observe the theater around him, it almost feels suffocating, being in a dark room full of people taking up every seat. The heavy feeling of tension in his chest didn’t ease, and he’s unsure if it’ll ever leave. But there was something else that unsettled him greatly. A scene played out on the giant screen, depicting a mother slapping her daughter in the face and yelling at her. A sniffing sound next to him pulled him out of the movie. Turning to his left he saw…Dana, staring at the screen, with tears streaming down her face. Questions ran through Todd’s mind. Was she crying because she was mesmerized by the movie? Or was it something else? He attempted to ask her what was wrong, but his throat closed up. Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea.

“Are you okay, Dana?” He was able to choke out this question.

Dana gave a silent nod as she wiped her tears away. Not wanting to press it any further out of fear of making her uncomfortable, Todd went back to watching the movie…and wishing he could take Dana and run out of the theater.

Finally, after what seemed to be hours, the movie ended, and the two of them sat just outside the theater, on a bench underneath a clear night sky.

“That was…really bad,” Todd said.

“It wasn’t what I expected, that’s for sure,” Dana replied.

Todd sighed. “I’m sorry, Dana. I had no idea the movie would turn out that way. I wish I had picked something better for us to watch.”

“Oh, no no!” Dana waved a dismissive hand in his direction. “Don’t feel bad, Todd. I may not have liked the movie, but I still enjoyed spending time with you.”

Todd cracked a sheepish grin. “Glad to hear it. I just wish I could have made our date better for you.”

“You did your best. Besides, the night’s still young,” Dana told him reassuringly. “Why don’t we go to a restaurant nearby?”

Dinner? As far as Todd was concerned, that was the best idea Dana could ever suggest. He checked his watch, seeing that it was a little past 8:30, and plenty of restaurants were open around this time. “Sure. I’m cool with that.”

With that in mind, the two of them walked around the town to find any restaurants that were open. Lights from inside the establishments seemed to illuminate the town square. But he could tell something was still up with Dana. The memory of her crying silently in the theater flashed back through his mind. He brought his eyes back to the slim woman in her pink dress, and noticed her cheeks looked a little flushed.

“Dana? Can I ask you…a bit of a personal question?” Todd asked, unsure of where to start.

“You’re wondering why I was crying back there, right?” Dana fired back, reading his mind like a book.

The sudden, accurate answer took him aback. Todd had no idea he was that easy to read. Todd stopped walking, giving a sigh as he ran a hand through his hair, embarrassed from being outed so quickly. “You don’t have to say if you’re not comfortable. I was just concerned that maybe I might have—”

“It’s fine,” Dana gently cut him off, but hung her head down as she spoke. The faint illumination of the streetlight highlighted her flushed cheeks and wet eyes. She looked like she was about to cry again, but she pursed her lips together, as if trying to maintain her composure.

“It’s true that I wasn’t a fan of the movie, but I wasn’t crying because of anything you did. The thing is…” Dana began, before pausing for a bit, then speaking again. “It brought back a lot of memories for me. Bad memories. You see…Carolyn, the mother…reminds me so much of my own mother.”

So she was overcome with memories from the past. Todd frowned, guilt weighing down on his being. The fact that he had taken Dana to a not-so-great movie made him feel guilty enough, but the revelation that the decision made her relieve unhappy memories made him feel worse.

“Was your mother like Carolyn?”

“Pretty much, in every way possible,” Dana replied. The two of them found another bench, sitting down as Dana spoke. It was easier to talk when one was sitting than standing and walking. “Only she wasn’t a real estate agent. My mother was a housewife, and she took her role very seriously. Too seriously, in fact.”

Dana went on to explain that while she had a nice house to live in, food to eat, clothes on her back, and so on, her parents were very cold, strict, and authoritarian, obsessed with coming across as the perfect family to their neighbors and relatives. Dana’s mother was even considered the perfect wife, who ruled the household and was completely convinced that everything in the house, from the decorations to her children’s behavior, would reflect badly on her. Because of her rigid views on parenting, Dana and her brother were scolded and punished more often than thanked, never given much in the way of praise for anything unless they conformed to certain societal norms. Men were supposed to be the strong breadwinners who worked every day and were given free reign to do whatever they wanted, and women were supposed to stay at home, cook meals, raise the kids, and be subservient to their husbands in every way no matter what. These rules were written into every single facet of their lives, and her mother insisted that every single minute of their days be devoted to learning the rules of society.

“My mother would always drag me into the kitchen and teach me how to make food, even when I didn’t want to or had homework to do. I mean, I didn’t mind cooking in and of itself, but Mother always insisted that I take lessons constantly, every single day, and I couldn’t leave until I got the recipe exactly right. I had to always change my clothes whenever it was close to dinner time, because she said as a woman, it was my obligation to always look rested, relaxed, and attractive when my father came home from work. I couldn’t eat sweets like ice cream or chocolate bars, because she said it’d ruin my figure. I wasn’t even allowed to wear pants or jeans, even though all the girls I went to school with were allowed to,” Dana explained, her voice quavering. “Every infraction, no matter how minor, she saw as a crime and a personal attack against her. Anything I did, whether it be saying no or wanting to play with my brother’s Transformers toys, she would slap me or spank me and call me an ungrateful brat, claiming that she brought me into this world, so I needed to repay her by not behaving in ways that would reflect badly on her. These days, it’d be considered child abuse for sure, but to her, that was normal. But I knew that it wasn’t, because I went to friends’ houses lots of times, and their parents were far more lenient. It was just so…suffocating being around her every single day.”

Todd’s hands rested on his lap, fingers interlaced, brows furrowed, as he processed everything Dana was telling him. He had no idea Dana had gone through so much. It certainly explained why she seemed so nervous when she got hired. But he didn’t want her to feel obligated to share the full story. The fact that she was opening up to him about something personal was probably hard enough in and of itself. All Todd knew was that Dana wanted someone to be there for her and listen to her, and what kind of man would he be if he just brushed her off?

“I can’t imagine what that must be like, having your entire life be micromanaged like that,” Todd swallowed, feeling some strands of hair get into his face as he spoke, lowering his head as he did so. He had never experienced the life Dana had, as his own parents were kind, hard-working people who loved their kids dearly, and respected them as individuals, helping them when they needed it and only punishing them when absolutely necessary. Just trying to imagine his parents being like Dana’s mother…Todd couldn’t fathom the thought.

“The high school I went to was offering computer and coding classes as electives, and I signed up for them right away. But my mother found out and…she was just livid,” Dana’s face contorted as if she were in pain just from remembering that particular memory. “She lectured me for hours, telling me what a disgrace I am and that my actions are an embarrassment to her and constantly went ‘What would the neighbors say?’ the entire time. She even arranged a meeting with the principal and tried to make him swap the classes out for home economics. Thankfully, he didn’t budge and let me keep the electives.”

Despite his efforts to maintain a stoic demeanor, Todd couldn’t prevent his jaw dropping open. What mother would take such offense to her daughter wanting to take computer classes to the point where she’d raise a complaint to the principal? He definitely couldn’t fathom his own mother doing such a thing. Good on her high school principal for letting Dana keep her preferred classes. Todd wished his own high school principal was like that.

“Sounds like your mother’s a control freak of the highest order,” Todd chimed in.

A stray tear trickled out from Dana’s eye, and she sniffed before wiping it away with her arm. “It got to the point where I couldn’t wait to move out of the house,” Dana confessed, her voice growing coarse after so much talking, but she continued on. “I was just so sick of her trying to dictate how I should live my life…and making a huge deal out of every little thing that wasn’t worth making a fuss about. After graduation, a friend of mine told me she was going to move out of state to an apartment here so she could be closer to her family.”

Dana had mentioned once that she originally came from Michigan, but not the reason she had moved here.

“She mentioned needing a roommate, and I offered to go with her the second she mentioned it,” Dana elaborated. “She knew about my situation and let me move in with her.”

“It’s a good thing you did,” Todd told her, leaning back against the bench. “I don’t think I could handle someone like your mother even for a minute.”

Dana flashed a sheepish grin, but it went back into a frown not long after, right as her gaze dropped back to her feet. “I’ve been away from my parents for years, and now I’m able to do whatever I want. But…” Dana pulled her knees to her chest. “Sometimes I still hear my mother’s voice in my head, chiding me over everything I do, calling me a disgrace for not being the perfect child she wanted me to be. Sorry for unloading on you like this.”

Todd shook his head. “Don’t be, Dana. Part of it was my fault for picking a movie that reminded you so much of your old life.”

“You couldn’t have known. It’s not something I talk about,” Dana reminded him.

Fair point. Plus, how was he supposed to know American Beauty had a controlling mother figure in it when he had never even seen the movie beforehand? It had only just come out in theaters.

“I have to admit, it’s kind of shocking to hear all of this,” Todd mentioned. “I never would have imagined you dealt with that kind of hardship, as you’re usually pretty upbeat and cheerful at work.”

Dana’s form becomes slightly smaller as she fiddles with the hem of her dress, like she’s trying to push her vulnerability to the side and failing. “That’s what I’d like to be. I’ve only been like that because I’m away from my parents. I’m actually very insecure, often nervous about everything. Sometimes I can’t get through the day without looking over my shoulder every five seconds,” She let out a broken laugh. “It’s so…freeing to finally be able to live the life I want to, without feeling like I’m under a microscope, being criticized and scrutinized over every slight, real or imagined, and being used as a tool for my mother’s performance evaluation.”

In the back of Todd’s mind, he did sometimes wonder what Dana’s life was like before coming to work at the city hall. But he often made it a point not to ask too many personal questions, as he didn’t want to come across as prying or being too forward. None of this was what he had expected at all. To think Dana had to endure years of such hardship. Nausea burned in his stomach as he tried to imagine what kind of childhood that had to have been like.

“I’m sorry. I probably ruined the date you had planned, didn’t I?” Dana asked.

The question threw Todd for a loop, and he was quick to shake his head. “Of course not. You did no such thing,” Todd’s voice rose as he responded, sliding just a little closer to Dana. His dark eyes narrowed, gleaming with conviction, and his voice was firm when he spoke again. “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you the date that you deserved, but I can assure you that I will never, ever punish you or degrade you for not being perfect. Nobody is. Not even me.”

Relief poured over Dana as she returned his gaze, with her eyes wide with a deer-in-the-headlights look. It was like Todd’s words were an oasis for one who wandered the desert for years. Had she really never heard such reassurance before? It explained why she seemed so nervous when she got hired. She doesn’t quite hug Todd in return, but she puts her legs back down and rests her head against his arm, her black locks tumbling against his sleeve. Todd returned the gesture with a smile, taking Dana’s small, delicate hand into his bigger one. Her hand was warm, like fur on a newborn kitten.

Was this what being in love was like? That feeling of wanting to be there for someone and cherish them for all that they are. Wanting to be with someone and give them all the love that they were denied previously. Dana went through so much, and took it upon herself to leave and find her own happiness. That in and of itself was something to admire.

“No one’s ever said anything like that to me before,” Dana whispered. “Thank you, Todd. Your kindness really means a lot to me…”

“The least I can do is listen,” Todd replied. “I know there isn’t much I can do, but don’t ever hesitate to rely on me if you ever need anything at all.”

Dana nodded, and Todd could feel her head moving against his upper arm. “I’d like that a lot.”

It was here that Todd knew it for sure: He was in love with Dana. She was the one. Whether through good times or bad, he wanted to be right by her side. After a while, Dana stood back up. “Alright, I think that’s enough unloading for one night,” Just like that, the cheerful smile she displayed at work returned with a vengeance, if one could call it that. “I just remembered, there’s a nice Japanese restaurant around here. They have great karaage chicken. My treat, since you paid for the snacks at the theater.”

A Japanese restaurant? Todd stood right up from the bench, liking the idea. “Well, who can say no to that? Lead the way, Dana. But let’s go half on the payment. It’d be rude to let you do all the heavy financial lifting.”

Hand in hand, the two of them strutted along the sidewalk, their smiles illuminated by the streetlights.

Todd wasn’t sure why he remembered his first date with Dana, but the memories came flooding back to him as he and Reagan sat on a bench in the police station lobby. The detective who oversaw Mary’s case told them to come to the station, as he knew someone who could look into Reagan’s phone and find out where Mary is potentially located with specialized technology. The finer details didn’t quite settle into their brains because of how complicated they were, but for the moment, knowing that Mary was at least still alive was a relief in and of itself. But it wasn’t the same as actually having her here. The two of them had been in there for half an hour, and so far, there wasn’t any news.

During that time, Todd texted Dana and told her where they were, along with the recent news. But there was no response. Calling her didn’t help, either. Todd tried calling her again a fourth time, holding the phone to his ear. Yet again, all he got was an answering machine, clenching his teeth as he decided to leave yet another message.

“Dana! Where are you?!” Todd exclaimed. “Reagan and I are at the police station and they have news on Mary! You need to get here right away!” With a grunt, he pressed the End Call button before letting out a defeated sigh and putting a hand on his forehead. “My God, of all the times Dana has to turn her phone off…”

Just then, a man in a long beige coat came out into the lobby and approached them. His sandy blonde hair parted down the front, and he had a subtle beard that had been shaved recently, but still looked presentable. “Todd? Sorry to make you wait so long.”

Todd stood up and shook the man’s hand. “It’s no problem, Detective Outteridge. Were you able to glean anything from Reagan’s phone?” He asked.

Unfortunately, Dt. Outteridge frowned and shook his head. “My technicians looked as deep as they could. They tried everything. Checking if the signal bounced off of cell towers all over Allegheny County, checking call log settings, GPS, even the StingRay phone trackers we’ve had set up. But nothing came of it.”

Both Todd and Reagan instantly deflated. Reagan buried her face in her hands while Todd just sat back down. Still nothing! To think this one ray of hope was dashed so quickly.

“The only thing we were able to confirm is that the texts did, in fact, come from Mary’s phone,” Dt. Outteridge reaffirmed. “But at this point, we don’t know for sure if she was the one who sent those texts, or if someone else did. Anything more, we’d have to get a search warrant, but since we don’t know where she is, we wouldn’t know where to look.”

“No, it was her,” Reagan said, pulling her hands away. Her expression was stone cold, and her voice was firm as she spoke. “She has a tendency to jump to conclusions at times without getting all the facts first.”

Dt. Outteridge adjusted the police badge on his coat. “Would you like to come into one of the interrogation rooms with me? We can talk more about this in a more private place.”

Father and daughter nodded as they followed Dt. Outteridge into a clean, empty room with walls made of titanium. There wasn’t much in there except for a titanium table, three chairs, and a big, rectangular window. Dt. Outteridge sat across from them and folded his hands as he watched them get comfortable.

“Do you know where your wife is right now, sir?” The blonde detective asked.

Slowly, Todd shook his head. “No. I’ve been calling her for over half an hour and she just won’t respond. Lately she’s been going out more and more often, and not always to join in search parties,” He said.

“Based on the context implied in the texts, I take it Mary and her mother have had…issues?” Dr. Outteridge inquired.

Reagan clenched her fist. “Mom’s the one with the issues.”

Before she could speak further, Todd gently interrupted her. “I’ll handle this, Reagan,” He told her before turning to face the detective. “The thing is, Dana has always struggled to accept Mary as being autistic.”

Todd went on to tell him some of the more recent conflicts that had sprung up between Mary and Dana, along with some from the past, from the meeting with Mr. Bryant to the Barnes and Noble incident. Detective Outteridge wrote everything down in a notepad as he listened, but asked questions when necessary.

“Supposedly, Mary mentions something about a blog that Dana created,” Detective Outteridge said. “Have you ever seen this blog before?”

The duo shook their heads. “No. This is the first we’ve heard of it,” Reagan chimed in. “But Mary said she saw it. I’m definitely gonna look it up when we get home.”

Without another word, Dt. Outteridge handed Reagan’s cell phone back to her. “What does Dana think happened to Mary?”

Todd ran a hand through his hair again, hanging his head down, facing the steely table. “She’s convinced Mary got kidnapped, even though you said there was no sign of forced entry.”

The door flung open, and a police officer poked his head into the room. “Detective? Dana Summers just arrived,” He told him.

All three of them stood up, walked out of the interrogation room, and into the lobby. Dana stood at the entrance, hunched over, panting and gasping for air like she had run a marathon. Her scrunchie was close to falling off the side plait that hung over her face.

“Dana!” Todd ran over to her, eyebrows furrowed with concern. “You made it!”

“Sorry! My GPS…had me…driving all over…the place…couldn’t…find the station,” One word crashed into the other as Dana tried to catch her breath. Finally, she managed to get a hold of herself.

On the other hand, Reagan narrowed her eyes into fierce slits. “Where were you?!” She exclaimed angrily. “Dad’s been trying to contact you for half an hour!”

Dana fired a glare back at her before answering. “I went to visit a friend, that’s all.”

Neither Todd or Reagan bought that explanation for an instant. But they had no chance to press her further, as Detective Outteridge approached her. “Thank you for coming, Mrs. Summers.”

“What’s this about? Todd said something about you guys finding a lead on Mary’s disappearance,” Dana immediately fired a question at him, and her tone was leaning heavily towards exasperated.

“There is a potential new lead we’re exploring. But I’d like to ask you some questions so I can get some clarification on things,” Dt. Outteridge explained.

Dana held her purse close to her chest, her whole body straightening and turning rigid. She looked over at Todd with furrowed eyebrows, like she felt like she was being scrutinized. She then turned back to Detective Outteridge. “Will this take long?”

“Unfortunately, yes. I’d like to speak with you alone, if it’s at all possible,” He told her.

Ice ran through Todd’s veins. Did he plan on interrogating her? As strained as his relationship with his wife was right now, the last thing he wanted was for her to be treated like a criminal. Maybe it’d be better to stay with her. But there was also Reagan to consider. She didn’t need to be here for any of this, not when she was already going through so much. His heart began to race as he remembered the cop shows he used to watch, of interrogations lasting for hours.

“Would you like me to stay with you, Dana?” Todd asked, stammering. “I can take Reagan home and come right back—”

Dana held her hand up, cutting him off. “It’s alright, Todd. You and Reagan head back without me. I’ll text you when I get out,” She flashed a forced smile in his direction.

As much as Todd wanted to argue and go against her decision, he knew her enough to know her mind was set. Once she made her decision, there was no changing her mind. Still, a sense of dread loomed over him, like the shadow of a large, drooping willow tree that stood out his window when he was younger, which he always thought was the grim reaper coming to take his soul.

“Alright. I’ll have dinner ready for you when you get home.”

Resigned to her decision, Todd escorted Reagan out of the police station, and the two of them drove back home. So many things ran through their minds, setting their hearts racing and anxiety high. But there was one question that ruled over everything.

What was this blog that Mary mentioned, and did Dana really make it?

The cell phone was heavy in Mary’s hands. Even after she sent her final text to Reagan, she still felt like rocks had settled into her stomach. “You did good, Mary,” Blanca told her, stroking her arm up and down with one hand.

“It doesn’t feel like it,” Mary muttered. But she did take some consolation in what Vic said earlier: Dana couldn’t reach her on the train. Dana wasn’t here to yell at her, manipulate her body, or force her to do anything she didn’t want to. So if she’d ever try to text Mary to call her, Mary could just delete her texts, ignore her calls, or turn her phone off completely.

“But how come you lied about your battery dying?” Vic asked as he leaped onto Mary’s knee. “I saw the battery icon, and it’s at 90%.”

Mary averted her gaze. “I didn’t want to talk anymore,” She muttered.

Vic crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at her, frowning at her answer. On the other hand, Blanca kept her reassuring smile. “Now Vic, she told her father and sister that she’s alive and safe. That’s all that matters right now, and she’ll talk to them again when she feels she’s ready.”

This was another thing Mary came to love about Blanca: Unlike Dana, who always wanted Mary to do whatever she demanded, often without taking Mary’s feelings and opinions into consideration, Blanca never forced her to do or say anything she didn’t want to. She let Mary take her time and respected her wishes, no matter how small and trivial they seemed. This only reaffirmed how much she wished Blanca was her mother.

Something green flashed in her peripheral vision. Mary put her cellphone down and saw that the number on her hand was changing. In a blurry flash, the number changed into a solid 92. Vic crawled up Mary’s back and ran onto her arm to get a look.

“Ooh! Your number changed!” Vic exclaimed, his ears perking up at the sight. “Well, progress is progress, no matter how small.”

Progress…towards what, exactly? Mary had been stuck on the train for a while, and she knew getting her number down to zero was required to get off the train. However, she couldn’t help but wonder just what she needed to really do to get it down to zero. Lots of things brought her number down, but she couldn’t figure out if there was some kind of overall goal she needed to reach. Even the phrase “growing as a person” still seemed vague, as it didn’t specify how she needed to grow as a person, other than learning from her mistakes.

Harsh, twanging sounds pulled Mary out of her reverie. She, Vic, and Blanca looked up, seeing a white haired mannequin dressed in simple red raiment sitting in front of another tree a few feet away from them. In the mannequin’s left hand was a brown, guitar-like instrument—a biwa—and she used a bachi to pluck the strings, producing music that mainly consisted of twanging noises. The three of them sat and listened to the rustic melody the mannequin played, smiling all the while, enjoying the new music echoing in the air around them. They weren’t sure how long the mannequin’s performance lasted, but when she stopped playing, Vic stood up.

“I think it’s time we head out,” Vic suggested, adjusting the green bead on his necklace as he did so.

Mary stuck her lips out in a silent pout, but flung her backpack over her back and did as he suggested. She wished she could stay here longer, as the cherry blossoms were so pretty, and it was quiet here. But it was still early in the day, and they weren’t sure how big the car was. As much as Mary didn’t want to leave, she knew it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to stay here permanently no matter how much she wanted to. Once everyone got their belongings together, the trio walked down the dirt road, marveling once again at the billowy clouds of pink blossoms on the trees. At one point, an ornately decorated carriage pulled by two oxen passed by.

“Ooh! Look at the cows! They’re so big!” Mary exclaimed.

“Technically, that’s an ox, with the plural being oxen,” Vic pointed out.

Satisfied with Vic correcting her, Mary continued on her way. Even in this car, where not much happened, there was still so much to see that she never knew about.

The walk towards the exit was a long one. Eventually, they made it to the exit, but when they got there, Mary’s legs were heavy from fatigue. When she checked the time on her cell phone, she was shocked to find a whole hour had passed. The trio basically walked an entire hour from their original spot just to get to the exit.

“I wonder what we’ll see in the next car?” Mary asked as they walked out of the car. “I hope it’ll be something fun!”

“Who knows?” Blanca said. “But I will say, this journey is a lot more fun than I thought it’d be. I’m glad I decided to accompany you two.”

“Same here!” Vic proclaimed from atop Mary’s head. “But we don’t know what the next car will be like. It could be dangerous, or it could be safe. Just be careful and stay on your toes.”

Mary stood on the tips of her toes. Seeing this, Blanca gently corrected her. “He means remain cautious.”

“Oh. Okay,” Mary put her feet back down on the floor.

Crossing the bridge, the trio made it to the entrance to the next car. Mary decided to open it, and when she stepped inside, a wall of white greeted them. Quacking noises assailed their ears.

The whole car was…ducks. White ducks as far as the eye could see, piled up so high that they reached higher than the entrance. Vic immediately stiffened up.

“Oh no…I can’t go in there,” Vic stammered. “Birds eat rodents!” He immediately curled into a ball.

“We might have to if we want to get to the next car,” Blanca reminded him.

So even Vic had things he was afraid of. That made sense. Rodents are prey animals, with birds being their primary predators. Then she looked down at her dress. In the middle of her chest area was a big pocket with a white flower on it. Mary smiled as a lightning bolt struck her mind. That’s it! Vic could hide in there and not have to worry about being eaten.

“Vic! You can hide in my dress pocket here,” Mary suggested, pulling the pocket open. It was big enough for him to fit, so it was perfect. Without hesitation, Vic raced down her head and arm, diving right into her dress pocket.

“My word. There’s so many ducks I can’t see past them,” Blanca noted. “But we may need to go through them,” She sprouted a hand, extending it towards Mary. “Hold onto me so we don’t get lost. Don’t let go no matter what.”

Silently, Mary took Blanca’s hand, and the trio walked right into the train full of ducks. Feathers, webbed feet, and duck bills surrounded them at every turn, and Mary and Blanca often had to push a bunch of ducks away just to make an open path. There was one thing Mary did notice about them: All of the ducks had crossed eyes. At one point, Mary felt something pulling on one of her braids.

“Ow! Get off me!” Mary used Mimi to smack a duck who had her bill clamped onto her braid. The first smack didn’t make it release her, but two more did the trick. She had to admit, Mimi’s long ears made a surprisingly good weapon.

“Ugh, this is taking forever!” Blanca groaned. “I have a better idea. Mary, we’re going to go up.”

Blanca waded her way through the ducks, but rather than going forward, she decided to go up. Mary followed suit, holding onto Blanca’s hand the entire time. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, they managed to reach the surface. But their jaws dropped as they took in the scenery all around them. The entire car was literally nothing but millions upon millions of ducks piled onto each other, with some of them even reaching the ceiling, even though the car didn’t really have a ceiling. The incessant quacking grew louder, and Mary put one hand over her left ear, as the noise began to make her eardrums throb.

“Alright, here we go!” Once Blanca found an open space, she retracted her arm and reshaped her body, turning it into a large bird. Long wings sprouted from her sides, a beak grew out from her mouth, and a tail sprouted out behind her. Vic’s backpack remained on her back, and Blanca was careful to keep it linked to her.

“Oooh! Awesome!” Mary exclaimed.

“You’d best get on. We’ll be able to get to the exit much faster,” Blanca advised. Mary wasted no time climbing onto Blanca’s back, even if it meant having to step on actual ducks to do so. Once she climbed on, Blanca flapped her wings and ascended into the air.

“Hey Vic! We’re flying!” Mary told him as she slipped Mimi into Vic’s backpack so she could free her arms. It helped that Vic’s backpack wasn’t as full as her own, so Mimi was able to fit inside.

With his ears perked up, Vic poked his head out from Mary’s dress pocket. “The faster we get outta here, the happier I’ll be.”

A duck on one of the higher piles immediately noticed them. And Vic. “Look! Food!!” The duck shouted loud enough for everyone to hear.

Just then, a huge army of ducks flew out from the pile, flying right towards the trio. Immediately knowing what they were after, Mary curled into a ball, putting both hands on her dress pocket to protect Vic. It wasn’t long before she felt her braids and dress getting pulled by duck bills, and her arms getting pecked at.

“Ow! Ow! Oww!!” Mary cried out with every peck. “Go away!! We’re not your food!!” She shouted at them, but they refused to obey.

Luckily, Blanca was able to move her head backwards and smack several of the ducks away. Mary used one of her feet to kick one duck enough that it let go of her pant leg. As much as she hated the idea of kicking an animal, as she had always been taught that animal cruelty was wrong, she knew these ducks were intent on eating Vic. She was not going to let them eat her friend. But how could she defend herself against them? There were so many of them, and she was just one person.

Wait…she did have one thing she could use. Her umbrella spear! Since she had it stuck between her backpack and her back, she reached back to pull it out from behind her. Pointing it upward, she saw five ducks descending toward her, their beaks ready for eating. Mary steeled herself, knowing what she had to do. Once they got close, she thrust the spear out, but instead of stabbing them, she pushed on the shaft, and the spear expanded into a flat shield. The expansion came so quickly that the ducks flew right into it before they could stop themselves. Once they collided, the collision made them disoriented, and they fell right afterward.

“I’ll hold them off from behind us, Blanca!” Mary called out. “You cover the front!”

“Yes, ma’am!” Blanca called back.

Mary knew there wasn’t much she could do to really make the cross-eyed ducks leave them alone. But at least with the umbrella spear, she could hold them off to an extent. She waved her expanded umbrella spear around in all directions, sometimes thrusting it outward in an attempt to ward them off. Most of the time, it worked.

“Leave us alone! We’re not your food!” She yelled with as much conviction as she could muster. But at one point, a duck with sunglasses dove right toward Mary’s dress pocket, pulling on the bottom part of it.

“No!!” Mary shouted. There was no way she was going to let this random duck eat her friend! With as much strength as she could, she freed one of her hands to press it down on the duck’s bill. The duck was surprisingly persistent and continued to pull. Mary knew she’d have to go all out for this one. She coiled her fingers around the top of the duck’s bill, lifting it just slightly before nudging the duck off of her dress with her foot. It worked, and once the duck was off, Blanca used her extended head to push the duck off of herself.

Another duck flew right into Mary’s face, obscuring her vision. “Hey! Get off!”

“Hi! Can you help me find my real eyes?” The duck asked in a dopey, non-threatening manner. But at this point, Mary didn’t care. She used her arm to smack the duck off her face.

“Look! I can see the top of the exit!” Blanca cried out.

Mary didn’t stop to look, as she continued waving her umbrella spear to hold off any ducks that threatened to pursue them. Blanca dove towards one pile, seeing the curved top of a red door. Finally, the ducks gave up, turning around to fly away. Blanca used her wings to push away the ducks blocking the exit. Once she revealed the handle, Mary closed her spear, put it back behind her, and reached out to open it.

Finally, they were out! The door closed behind them, and once they made it out, Blanca reverted back to her original form. The duo leaned against the door, heaving and stopping to catch their breath as they did so. But they knew there was one important thing they needed to make sure of.

“Vic! Are you okay?” Mary opened her dress pocket to check on Vic. He was still in there, and he uncurled from his fetal position. The hamster poked his head out from her dress pocket. No ducks in sight.

“Physically, yes. Mentally, not really,” Vic replied, his tiny body shaking as he spoke.

Now that they were out of the duck car, Vic did feel safe enough to crawl into Mary’s palm. Mary could only grin and hold him to her face so she could nuzzle his fur. She saved him! She and Blanca managed to protect him! A warm glow enveloped her whole being, and Mary never felt so relieved in her whole life.

“I’m so happy you’re safe,” Mary whispered.

Gradually, Vic’s tiny body began to relax. “Thanks. I gotta say, you were pretty brave out there. Heh, look at me. All my talk about not being afraid of anything, yet I coil at the sight of birds. Pathetic, huh?”

“It’s not pathetic. It’s okay to be afraid,” Blanca told him reassuringly. “And Vic’s right, Mary. I’m really proud of how you handled yourself out there.”

Suddenly, Mary’s cheeks flushed red. “Thanks, but I…I couldn’t have done it all by myself, though. You helped us, too, Blanca.”

Even so, the pride she felt was a familiar feeling. Something she had yearned for so many times. She felt it when she passed that math test that she wanted to show her mother, only to be met with scrutiny. Here, there was no such thing. She and Blanca protected Vic, and there was no criticism. No backhanded praise, no pointing out flaws or mistakes that weren’t worth making a fuss about, no suddenly changing the subject, or phrases like “You could have handled yourself better had you done this instead” or anything similar. Blanca was completely, unapologetically proud of her, and Mary basked in it like a flower absorbing sunlight. Finally, Mary felt like she was allowed to be proud of herself. She saved her friend from being turned into duck food, and now, she was on cloud nine.

“Alright, let’s just go to the next car already. Here’s hoping it doesn’t have any killer birds this time around,” Vic grumbled.

Pride continued to swell in Mary’s heart even as they crossed the bridge to the next car. For once in her life, she felt like she had done everything right in the way only she could. It wasn’t perfect, but how could it be? It was like chains that had been shackling her were beginning to corrode and weaken.

In her heart, Mary wished this feeling would last forever.

As soon as Todd unlocked the door, Reagan sprinted inside, not even bothering to take her coat or shoes off as she raced into the den. Todd almost fell against the door she zipped past him, and his eyes felt like they were going to pop right out of his face. But he was able to support himself and regain his balance, saving himself from falling over.

“Reagan? Slow down!” Todd called out, but his teenage daughter paid him no heed.

Now that Dana was stuck at the police station, and she had no idea how long she’d be there, Reagan knew she had to act fast. She needed to find that blog, and the entry Mary said scared her into running away. For all she knew, the police might have asked her about it, and if Dana came home, she might delete it. This was Reagan’s chance to find out for sure if what Mary said was true or not. She sat on her father’s computer chair, pulled up a search engine, and typed in the name of the blog: A Mother’s Fight Against Autism .

Sure enough, a blog with that name popped up within seconds, right as Todd walked into the room. Reagan clicked on it, and underneath the title was the name Dana Summers. Todd, who was looking over the top of the chair, couldn’t believe what he and his daughter were seeing.

Mary had been right. Dana did have her own blog. The most recent entry, which was the first one displayed on the front page, was dated just a few days ago.

It’s been a little over a week since Mary went missing. The search parties are starting to dwindle. Missing posters are still hanging everywhere. As a mother, I should be worried out of my wits, and to an extent, I am. But…for the first time in years…I actually feel relieved. It’s like now that Mary’s gone, I can breathe again, smile again, feel like a person again, and not like a complete, abject failure. It’s like finally ripping off a leech that’s been sucking your blood and eating away at your life, at your soul, at your money, at your marriage.

Earlier, one of my work colleagues invited me to have lunch with them at Cafe Amore. I hadn’t been there in years. Not since Mary started ABA. I initially declined, but Todd was on my case again about the incident at the Carnegie Science Center years ago, which I really wish he doesn’t keep digging up. He wouldn’t shut up about it, so I stormed out. I’d rather avoid conflict, if necessary. I decided to go to lunch with them after all…and I had such a wonderful time. It felt like I had gone back to when I first got my job at the city hall, when I could actually go out, meet people, and do whatever I wanted without being scrutinized and treated like a perpetual nuisance just because I wasn’t whatever people wanted me to be. I can’t even remember the last time I actually went out to eat in a fancy cafe for fun. Nobody stared at me with disgusted, judgmental expressions. Nobody whispered about me, holding their hands to their mouths.

It felt like heavy chains and shackles had finally been lifted off of me.

I think it’s time that I accepted that Mary may be gone for good. There’s no point in dwelling on the past anymore. Nobody even knows whether she’s even alive or not. I can’t put my life on pause just because Mary’s missing. Todd and Reagan need me right now, and I can’t expend any energy on Mary when she’s not even here. I want to finally be able to move on. I won’t need to spend money on doctors and therapy anymore, and can use it for important things, like going out on dates with Todd, on Reagan’s college plans, and replacing my old, ratty clothes with new ones.

I only wish my family would move on as well.

Reagan’s jaw dropped, as did Todd’s. Did Dana really write this? The revelation itself was hard enough to process, but the fact that she not only made Mary out to be some life-ruining leech, but talked about wanting to completely give up on searching for her…this was unreal.

“Dad!” Reagan exclaimed, looking right up at him with wide eyes that had shock written all over them. “Did you know about this?!”

“Of course not! I’ve never seen this before in my life!” Todd shot back.

Alongside his increasing shock and heartbeat, he found that past words returned to his mind. Some he had shamefully forgotten about long before now. The voice of his wife, when he came home from work one day and asked how her day had been going. At the time, Mary was four years old. He noticed Dana was at the computer typing on some webpage. “What’s that you’re working on?” He had asked.

“It’s nothing. Just an online journal I’m making,” Dana had replied. “I thought it’d be nice to have someplace where I can put my thoughts together.”

Not wanting to invade her privacy, Todd barely looked at the webpage in question, figuring this was like a diary of sorts. Having always been taught to respect someone’s privacy and personal boundaries, Todd simply dropped the subject and encouraged her to keep it up if it made her happy. He never pursued it further. Only as the memory came back did dread settle in his gut. Was that the blog she had been making? How long had she been writing on it?

“How far back does it go?” Todd inquired.

Reagan clicked on the archive page, and entries went as far back as 2014. Mary would have been three years old at that time. Father and daughter looked through every blog entry possible, all of them about the same thing: Complaints about Mary. Mary being a nuisance. Mary being a burden. Mary ruining her life. Mary embarrassing or humiliating Dana in some way or another. Dana making a huge show of Mary either not meeting developmental milestones or not cooperating with ABA. Dana wishing Mary wouldn’t have been born autistic. There was even one about the Barnes and Noble incident.

“Oh my God…” It was like Todd had been struck by a train. He had no idea Dana had this blog, much less thought about Mary the way she did. But one thing stood out to him about the blog entries: Dana never said a kind word about Mary even once. “This is far worse than I ever imagined. I knew your mother struggled with accepting Mary being autistic, but…I had no idea it was this bad!”

A name on an older entry stuck out to Todd. “Wait…Dr. Goldman?!” He yelped, leaning closer to read the rather short entry in question. This was dated a week before the Barnes and Noble incident.

Now that Mary’s about to start middle school, I’ve consulted Dr. Goldman about my fears about the future. Since Todd pulled Mary out of ABA—against my wishes, mind you—I’m practically at my wit’s end. He suggested I look into chelation therapy and handed me some pamphlets. I might do just that, but it’ll have to wait, as I need to help Reagan with band practice.

“After all this time, she’s still seeing him?!” Todd yelled.

Reagan flinched, recoiling from his yelling, but remained in the computer chair. “Who’s this Dr. Goldman? His name comes up in a lot of these entries,” She asked.

Todd took a minute to sigh and compose himself before speaking. “Jacob Goldman. When Mary was first diagnosed as autistic, he was one of many doctors we consulted to see if we could get some support for her,” Todd began, his face contorting into a snarl as he recalled the memories of him in question. “He was the third specialist we saw and…ugh, just thinking about him makes me ill.”

Bile rose in his throat, and he shook his head to push it down as he continued on. “He was a real piece of work. A mean old son of a gun.”

According to Todd, when he and Dana saw Dr. Goldman for the first time, Todd immediately got a bad feeling about him. The doctor’s office was in a low income, high crime area, and the facility he used wasn’t in the best shape. It didn’t help that Dr. Goldman always looked at them with a permanent scowl on his face, like he didn’t want them here. One of the first red flags Todd saw was that his first evaluation of Mary was cursory at best. Said evaluation was extremely short, consisting only of watching her play and writing things down, barely interacting with her, and mainly just sitting at his computer looking at websites. Dr. Goldman claimed that Mary would never meet her developmental milestones, lacked empathy, and would basically drain them dry, suggesting that they put her on a sedative. Or, if not that, very strict corporal punishment whenever she engaged in stimming of any kind.

“Wait, he suggested that you…like, abuse her?” Reagan asked, hoping what her father said would make sense the second time around. It didn’t.

“That was the gist of it,” Todd replied, rubbing his forehead with one hand as he recalled the event in question. “He seemed to believe that the best way to deal with autistic kids was extremely harsh discipline. I flat-out told Dana he was not a good fit for Mary, but for some reason, she just latched onto his advice and insisted that I not judge him right off the bat. I didn’t want to see him again, but due to some other commitments, we couldn’t cancel our next appointment with him, so we wound up going.”

The second session was worse than the first one, mainly for Mary. Dr. Goldman offered to do a more in-depth evaluation of Mary, but had the bright idea of holding it in a packed nursery full of crying babies. Mary didn’t like being in there, and ran to the door multiple times to get out, as the noise from the babies was too much for her to handle. Every single time, Dr. Goldman forced her back into the room, refusing to let her leave. Todd saw that at one point, then-two-year-old Mary was trying to tell him she was thirsty by holding a plastic cup to him. Since she couldn’t talk at that time, she used gestures to communicate, and Todd taught her that if she was thirsty, she could tell him such by bringing an empty cup over to him so he could fill it with water or milk. Mary kept shoving the cup in the doctor’s line of vision, making babbling noises as she did so. After the third time, Dr. Goldman smacked the cup out of her hands and screamed at her to shut up. It was there that Mary broke down crying.

“Seriously? Poor Mary,” Reagan could only stare, her eyes wide as saucers. She had no idea her sister had been through something like that.

“That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me,” Todd said. “As soon as I saw that, I burst into the room, scooped her in my arms, and told him to never, ever treat her that way ever again. I basically dragged Dana out of the office and never looked back. No way was I putting Mary under his care. No way in hell.”

Reagan huffed as she turned back around. “Sounds like he’s totally unfit to be around kids at all. Still, why would Mom keep seeing him, though?”

“I have no clue. There’s a lot of things she’s kept from me…” Todd muttered, clenching his fist. Even after he told Dana they were never going to see him again, she went behind his back and continued to see Dr. Goldman. Didn’t she learn anything from the horrible way he treated Mary? Or did she latch onto him and his methods, feeling like they were the best way to cure Mary of being autistic?

“Understatement of the millennium,” Reagan noted, scrolling through more blog entries that made her face contort in disgust.

It was then that Reagan remembered one of Mary’s texts. Look for the entry written on May 18th, 2018 . Reagan scrolled through the archive and found the entry in question. With just one click, a very long post popped up.

I don’t know how much longer I can do this.

I realized that every single day I live consists of dealing with Mary and trying to manage her. I have no time for myself. No time for Reagan. No time for Todd. I don’t even think I can bring her out in public anymore because she’ll just throw a tantrum and embarrass herself and me in front of everyone. We can’t do anything as a family anymore because of her. A few days ago, there was an incident at the Carnegie Science Center. She hit another child on a field trip, and when I tried to confront her about it, she refused to accept responsibility and was defiant the entire time. She threw herself to the floor and went crazy. I had to tell one of the chaperones to leave me alone because she got it into her head that I was abusing her. Yeah, she ought to spend a day in my shoes. What does she know?

Dr. Goldman was right. Kids like Mary bring no joy to their parents’ lives. She certainly hasn’t brought any to mine! It’s like she gets off on causing me trouble! I can’t even bring myself to celebrate her birthday anymore—she just turned seven two days ago—because all I can think is ‘Oh yay, another year of her using me as her personal punching bag.’ How much longer do I have to keep living this thankless life? I can’t even be proud of her because if I do, she’ll take it as permission to run wild and probably destroy the entire house.

Every night, I have nightmares. I can’t ever get a good night’s sleep, and I’m pretty sure I have permanent bags under my eyes. I dream of what Mary might turn into if I can’t keep her under control. I’m always scared.

Scared that she’ll regress into an infantile state, to the point where she’ll always be mentally a child, and I’ll have to spend my entire life spoon feeding her and changing her diapers.

Scared that she’ll wander off somewhere and get herself killed the second I take my eyes off her.

Scared that she’ll get a gun and shoot up a school just for the fun of it, like others like her have done previously.

Scared that in the middle of the night, she’ll snuff me out with a pillow.

Scared that she’ll let herself be taken advantage of by some creep and wind up getting pregnant at an early age, and Dr. Goldman said kids like her can never be good parents to any kids they bear.

Every single scenario Dr. Goldman told me about runs through my brain like a broken record player, and I can’t turn them off no matter what. More so after Todd pulled Mary out of ABA against my wishes. I told him doing so was a bad idea, that if Mary didn’t stay in ABA, she’d run rampant! And he wonders why I kept ABA a secret from him for three years, because I knew he’d react that way and undo all the progress we did make with her! How could I be so careless as to leave the facility’s business card out on the table? Can’t he think about how pulling her out of ABA and catering to her every whim makes me feel? If my mother sees Mary out and about behaving the way she does, I’ll never hear the end of it! It’s bad enough she still hasn’t forgiven me over what happened at my uncle’s funeral!

I don’t know what I’m going to do about Mary or her future. I can never tell what she’s thinking, or if she’s even thinking at all. Dr. Goldman did say all autistic kids ever think about is how they can manipulate others into letting them have their way in everything, no matter how animalistic their methods. It’s certainly true for Mary. She never considers how I feel about anything, especially whenever she throws her tantrums over mindless minutia. She never thinks of the consequences of her actions. Every time she acts out, I have to bear the burden of being told that I can’t discipline her no matter how hard I try, from both family members and complete strangers! Like I don’t have enough to deal with as it is!

But there is one thing I can do. I can’t legally make it happen until Mary turns 18, but I’ve been contemplating it for a while. When Mary turns eighteen, I might make plans to obtain medical power of attorney over her and arrange  so that she will be sterilized. At least that will solve the problem of her getting herself pregnant, should some boy take advantage of her—and I can’t imagine why they would for no other reason than that she’s vulnerable and an easy target. But I don’t know if I want to go through with it yet, as I have little time to even make phone calls anymore.

I might sleep on it tonight. Who knows at this point?

It was as if ice had hung suspended in the air around them before violently clattering around them like raging hail. Words had completely escaped them, and both Reagan and Todd could do nothing but blink, hoping everything in this particular entry would make sense the second time around. Or the third, the fourth, or the tenth. It didn’t. Reagan’s face turned red and her eyes flashed fire as she stood up from the chair so hard, she almost pushed it into her father.

“BULLSHIT!!” Reagan roared. “Mary’s not like that!!” She screamed uncontrollably, pacing around the den, unable to keep it all in anymore. “She’s seriously convinced Mary’s gonna grow up to be some psycho criminal who kills people?! And she wants to make it so that she can’t have babies!! Aaaagh!!” Reagan screamed once more, punching the wooden wall with her fist. She didn’t care that the recoil made her fist throb. After the punch, she fell to her knees and cried into her trembling hands.

All Todd could do was sit on the footrest, silently taking it all in, inhaling deeply. But inside, he was a simmering volcano ready to burst. How could Dana say those things about Mary? How could she possibly view her daughter as nothing but a thorn in her side that she felt needed to be yanked out? And making plans to sterilize her, when she had absolutely no right to do so? Mary’s nine years old! Mary didn’t need to worry about having kids, and whether she wanted to be a parent or not, that was her decision to make, not Dana’s. This was far, far worse than Todd could ever have imagined even in his wildest dreams. The blood running through his veins grew colder. If Dana was here right now, he didn’t know what he’d do. He’d probably lose it.

To think this had gone on right under his nose…and he never even noticed! Todd mentally kicked himself for being so blind. Blind about a lot of things he never bothered to look into. Dana’s continual consultations with Dr. Goldman, ABA, and now this. He had convinced himself that, eventually, Dana would stop fixating so much on Mary being autistic and come to accept it. Surely, she’d learn to do so at some point, right? But this was all the proof he needed. Dana was never going to accept Mary as she was. She was never going to respect Mary as a person. Respect her autonomy, her agency, or even respect her way of being. The fact that she believed that Mary would just randomly turn into a school shooter based on probably nothing—or whatever bullshit Dr. Goldman put into her head—spoke volumes about her.

“I’m so sorry, Mary…” There was no mistaking the tears now. Todd’s body jolted with a sob, and his hands lowered to hide his face. Bending forward, he quietly sobbed into his rugged hands, wishing he had known about this sooner.

Their entire world had turned upside down in that moment. Everything they thought they knew and believed about Dana had been a complete and utter lie. Now, they couldn’t blame Mary for running away. Not after seeing that. If Todd’s own parents said things like that and he heard or saw them say so, he’d probably run the hell away as well.

Father and daughter sat in the den, crying for a long time. Finally, Reagan stood up and went back to the computer, her wet eyes gleaming with determination. “I’m archiving this.”

“Why?” Todd asked, lifting his head up.

“In case Mom finds out we know about it and tries to delete it,” Reagan answered, her fingers dancing across the keyboard faster than they ever did before. “I can keep it as evidence so she can’t lie her way out of having made this stupid blog!”

“Reagan, don’t be reckless,” Todd advised. “I’ll talk to her about it. I don’t want you to be the one confronting her about it.”

“Dad!! Don’t you get it?!” Reagan shot back. “Mom’s been going behind our backs and lying to us for years!! She’s happy that Mary’s gone!! We can’t let her get away with this!!”

More tears trickled out from Reagan’s eyes, blurring her glasses. Todd understood how she felt. But as horrifying as this revelation was, he knew simply getting angry and confronting her about the blog wasn’t going to solve anything. Not when they were both so riled up. Plus, there was still so much they needed to confirm. Besides, Reagan didn’t need this. She was just a kid. She needed to worry about school, band practice, and her own life, not getting dragged into her parents’ personal issues. Todd wrapped both arms around his daughter, pulling her close and letting her cry into his chest.

“I know, and I promise you, I won’t let her,” Todd whispered. “But this is between your mother and I. You don’t need to get dragged into our issues. All you need to worry about is school and band practice. You’ve done all you can.”

“No I haven’t!” Reagan cried, her sobs wracking her shuddering body. “Mary’s gone…and Mom isn’t even…!!”

The two of them cried together this time. They didn’t know for how long, but a vibrating sensation in Todd’s pants pocket pulled him out of his sorrow. He pulled out his cellphone and saw a text bubble notification. It was a text from Dana.

Going to be late coming home. Stuck in traffic near the Squirrel Hill tunnel. Bad accident just happened. Don’t know when I’ll get out.

As much as he appreciated Dana letting him know she was okay and going to be late, he wanted to just throw the phone at the wall. When she got home, he was going to have words for her. Everything that he learned about was absolutely unacceptable. The lying, going behind his back, all that she put Mary through, and the blog.

“...Oliver thought Mom had something to do with her disappearance,” Reagan muttered.

“Hm?”

“The other day, Oliver and I were passing out missing person’s posters,” Reagan spoke louder, her fingers tapping keys on the keyboard as she proceeded to archive her mother’s blog. “At one point, he wondered if Mom was somehow involved in Mary going missing. I told him that wasn’t true. But…I think he turned out to be right.”

So even Reagan’s boyfriend suspected something was up. This was all too much to take in. There was so much to think about. But for right now, the most important thing was to calm down and get a handle on things.

“You’d best get your homework done, Reagan. I’ll heat up dinner,” Todd told her, forcing a sad smile.

With a sniff, Reagan wiped her eyes and stood up. “I’m still archiving the website, though. You might as well use it as evidence when you get around to confronting her about it,” She said before leaving the den.

As much as Todd didn’t want her to get involved in this, Reagan did make a valid point. The blog told him and Reagan so much about Dana’s actions, and now that they knew of its existence, suddenly everything made a lot more sense. If Dana had been lying about her blog and everything else at this point, what else had she been lying about? Todd didn’t know what to believe anymore.

But he did know one thing for sure: He needed to make this right. For Mary’s sake.

Chapter Text

The next car the trio went into was a vast improvement over the Cross-Eyed Ducks car. For one, it looked like an exact replica of Venice, Italy. Crystal clear water stretched as far as the eye could see, with fancy buildings and houses lining the canals and cobblestone sidewalks. Black gondolas gently waded across the water, with denizens gently rowing their oars. The denizens resembled people, but had vegetables or flowers for heads. Mary’s blue eyes stretched wide open in awe as she marveled at the scenic beauty around her, and she smiled so big, her cheeks started to hurt, but she barely paid it much notice.

“Ooooh! It’s so beautiful here!” Mary proclaimed. She stopped at the edge of the stone platform that the back entrance stood upon, careful not to walk too far, lest she fall into the water.

“My word. This place is certainly lovely,” Blanca agreed. “But I imagine getting to the exit won’t be easy.”

The only one who wasn’t ecstatic to be here was Vic. The ordeal with the cross-eyed ducks had passed, and Vic thought he could relax now that he was out of that car. However, his face contorted with disgust when he saw the vast expanse of water before him.

“Just great. First it’s birds, now it’s water,” Vic groaned from atop Mary’s left shoulder.

“You don’t like water?” Mary asked.

Vic shook his head. “Any large body of water that’s bigger than me or a bath gives me the willies,” Vic told her. “I can’t swim very well.”

Understandable. Mary wasn’t sure if hamsters were capable of swimming or not. But she could definitely see why Vic would be put off by the vast canals. She herself wasn’t much of a swimmer, and preferred shallow waters whenever she and her parents went to a pool or the lake. Any swimming that required not letting her feet touch the ground was impossible, as she always felt like no matter how hard she swam or how much she tried to keep her head above water, she always sank if she didn’t have someone or something to hold onto.

“I don’t know how to swim either, so I know how you feel,” Mary was quick to sympathize with him.

“I’m also not very good with large bodies of water. I absorb water too easily, and it weighs me down if I absorb too much. Hot water would make me melt or dissolve, and that’s a death sentence for us marshmallows,” Blanca explained.

Hot water could kill Blanca? Mary couldn’t stand the thought of that happening. Real marshmallows could dissolve in heated liquids like hot chocolate. Mary kneeled down at the edge of the stone platform and stuck her fingers into the water. It was cold, but not so cold that it hurt her fingers or felt like ice, more like mildly cool. Mary smiled, knowing that since the water wasn’t hot, Blanca was in no danger of melting or dissolving.

“I wonder how we’ll be able to get to the exit, though?” Mary asked as she pulled her hand out from the water. “Maybe there’s a boat we can use?”

“Like that?” Vic pointed towards the water.

A denizen with a cabbage for a head came rowing towards them on a fancy black gondola. Said denizen wore a black and white striped shirt, black pants, and red shoes. “Bon giorno! Welcome to the Venice Car!” The cabbage-headed denizen cajoled in a merry voice.

Even though the denizen had no visible facial features, like eyes or a mouth, it was easy to tell the denizen was happy from the way he welcomed them. “Would you like a ride to the exit?”

“Yes please!” Both Mary and Blanca replied in unison.

The cabbage-headed denizen scooted the gondola closer. “Watch your step,” He told them. Mary stepped into the gondola first, and it bobbed slightly under her weight. Right as she sat down, she noticed how narrow it was. Not for herself, but for Blanca, whose whole body was wider than the inside of the gondola. Cabbage Head noticed it as well, putting a hand on his chin in contemplation.

“Hmm…this might be a problem,” Cabbage Head mused aloud. “I’m not quite sure you can fit.”

Catching on to what he meant, Blanca smiled. “There’s no need to worry. I can adjust myself accordingly.”

Blanca proceeded to retract her body into herself, shrinking inward, along with growing a set of human-like legs and arms. She even rounded her head, making it resemble a person’s head, complete with a chin. In no time at all, Blanca went from a giant marshmallow to a completely white, person-shaped denizen. She even fit both arms through the straps of Vic’s big, yellow backpack like any normal person would.

“Is this better?” Blanca asked.

Cabbage Head’s frills fluttered. “Definitely! Come on in!” He gestured for her to step into the gondola. Blanca slowly made her way inside, sitting next to Mary as she did so. 

As soon as Blanca settled in, Vic crawled out from Mary’s dress pocket and hid under one of the wooden seats. The gondola bobbed on the water as Cabbage Head pushed his oar against the dock. Mary remained as still as a statue so she wouldn’t fall off, clutching her backpack tightly against herself, as if using it to anchor herself onto the seat. She felt the reverberation going through the gondola as Cabbage Head pushed the oar against the dock, setting them out onto the water. Luckily, once Cabbage Head started rowing, the gondola settled, no longer wobbling with their movements.

With that, all was quiet save for the rhythmic strokes of the oar cutting through the water, which answered back with splashes and glugs against the gondola. Mary had a feeling getting to the exit was going to take a long time at the rate they were going, which she figured was probably intentional. Good thing she made sure to bring some books with her in case she got bored. Even so, she and Blanca did take some time to marvel at the bright, colorful houses that really popped against the blue sky. They looked like they came right out of a painting, and many of them had doors that almost touched the water, with no porches in sight.

“Oooh. These houses are so pretty!” Mary exclaimed, her blue eyes wide with awe as colorful houses ran parallel to the canal as far as the eye could see. “Look! There are even pink ones!”

“They certainly are a sight to see,” Blanca noted, smiling as she stole a glance at a bright orange house. A laundry line stretched from one window to another, and white dresses and shirts fluttered in the Venetian wind, as if they were dancing. “I never would have seen this had I remained in the Sweets Car.”

Mary wondered if the actual Venice, Italy was like this. But she looked down at the seat and noticed Vic hadn’t moved from his spot at all. Was he that scared? He had to be if he hadn’t moved an inch.

“Hey, Vic. The houses here are really colorful and pretty. Wanna see?” Mary asked, lowering her voice so as to not scare him. “You can see them from my dress pocket, and you won’t fall into the water.”

Vic shook his head. “No thanks. I’m perfectly fine here.”

He wasn’t fine. Mary could tell that much. His voice was sharp and stony, almost grumbly, like how Mary made it whenever she was frustrated or mad. Plus, his body was straight and rigid, like he was doing all he could to not move at all. Mary wondered if his being scared of the water was like how she felt being stuck in the Black Market Car with the slugs.

“We’d best let him have some space,” Blanca whispered. “He might want to be alone.”

Mary knew the feeling, so she decided to leave Vic be for now. But her heart swelled with concern for him. Won’t he be bored doing nothing but sitting under a gondola seat all day? The thought lingered in her mind even as she pulled out her favorite book— A Little Princess —and proceeded to read it. Her mind wandered as she read through the familiar chapters and scenarios, and her ears caught Blanca making conversation with Cabbage Head—who revealed his name was actually Alvise.

“Have you been a gondolier for a long time, Alvise?” Blanca asked.

“Yes, for 20 years now, and I have no plans to retire anytime soon!” Alvise responded back, his voice and frills rippling with cheer.

As much as Mary liked Alvise and his friendly demeanor, his voice was a little loud, so she tried to focus on her book, sometimes repositioning her legs when she felt she was getting stiff and restless. But at the end of every chapter, she looked up to see if Vic had moved. He hadn’t. She made it up to chapter six before she decided to talk to him again.

“Hey, Vic. I know just what’ll take your mind off things,” Mary chirruped, putting her bag down so she could crouch down to his level. “Want me to read you my favorite book out loud?” She slipped a bookmark into some pages and showed Vic her book. “It’s called A Little Princess , and it’s my favorite.”

Vic’s ears perked up upon hearing her voice, and he did lift his head up to get a look at her book, but he remained where he was. “Thanks, but no thanks. I already have a copy at home,” Vic replied. “Besides, your copy’s an abridged version.”

“Abridged?” Mary cocked her head to one side, confused by the new word. “What’s that mean?”

“To make something shorter by cutting stuff out while keeping the most basic stuff,” Vic explained succinctly.

“Wait, really?!” Mary shrieked, looking back at the cover of her book. There was a sentence that said ‘Retold from the Frances Hodgson Burnett original.’ She had barely paid much attention to it before, but now that she heard Vic explain what the word abridged meant…was this what retold meant? Telling it in a different way? And the sentence referred to an original. Did it mean an original version that didn’t have changes made to it?

“Your copy’s smaller than mine,” Vic added. “The one I have, the original version, has more pages.”

“Wow. I had no idea,” Mary sat back down on her gondola seat to take in the new information her brain was processing. So A Little Princess actually had a bigger, longer version that she didn’t know about until now. “So that means there’s a big kid version of it out there!” Mary proclaimed, holding the book and her backpack close in an attempt to squeeze out the excitement bubbling from within her. “Maybe if I get home, I can ask my dad to take me to the bookstore so I can buy it and see how different it is from this one! Thanks for telling me all this, Vic!”

Vic said nothing more, leaving Mary to ruminate on this new information. With this in mind, Mary went back to reading her book…but she frowned after two pages. It was the first time since she got on the train that she had even thought about wanting to go back home, even if it was just for some small thing. It’s been a little over a week since she went missing. She told her sister she was alright, so Reagan knew, at the very least, that Mary wasn’t dead or anything, and based on her replies, she was relieved that Mary was okay.

What about Caitlin and Leo? Mr. Bryant? Mary’s thoughts drifted to them. Were they worried about her? Did they want her to come back just as badly? Were they okay? She wished there was some way she could at least see how they were doing. But she knew she couldn’t just get off the train. For the first time in a very long while, she found herself yearning for home. For her father’s big, warm hugs. Her sister’s smile and advice. The trips to the park, the lake, the bookstore. Hanging out with her friends at school. Mr. Bryant helping her with lessons when she had trouble understanding them. Secretly listening to Reagan playing her oboe.

Mary shook herself out of her reverie and focused on her immediate surroundings. Denizens went about their day on both sides of the canal. She saw two denizens with red roses for heads, wearing floral aprons and exchanging plates of food at what appeared to be a restaurant. One denizen had a patch of grapes for a head and was dipping laundry into the canal water. Mary wondered what kind of lives these denizens lived. But sometimes she went back to reading her book, as she grew bored with staring at the same scenery for a long time. She would occasionally glance back at Vic, who still remained under the seat in the same position as before.

The gondola ride was smooth and pleasant, though at one point, Alvise pulled out a pocket watch from his pants pocket. “Goodness! That reminds me!” Alvise exclaimed before directing the gondola towards a dock nearby. “Sorry, dear passengers. I just remembered I have to run an errand. Would you like to get off the gondola for a bit and take a break while I get what I need?”

Upon hearing the words get off, Vic immediately stood up and shouted “Yes please!” like he couldn’t get off the gondola fast enough. Mary recoiled from his sudden shouting, as it was the first time Vic had raised his voice or even moved since he got on the gondola. 

Once Alvise parked the gondola and tied a rope to a piling, he gestured for the passengers to disembark. Vic scuttled up Mary’s back and settled onto her shoulder, and the two of them got off first. Blanca followed suit, but remained in her humanoid shape. Mary noticed that while Blanca was still taller than her, even while shape-shifted, the marshmallow was slightly shorter in her current form than she was as a marshmallow.

“Alright! I promise to be quick, but I don’t know how long I’ll be in there, so feel free to relax and stretch your legs!” Alvise told them before sprinting away.

“Whew!” Mary stood up and stretched her arms up into the sky, along with standing on her tip-toes to get the kinks out of her legs. “That’s been pretty nice so far!”

“I agree. But I do wonder if we’ve gotten any closer to the exit,” Blanca mused, brushing some dirt off her legs.

Vic bristled his fur, reaching up to scratch his left ear. “It better be soon, because I don’t know if I can stand this much longer,” He grumbled, his voice still stony and terse.

Mary’s eyebrows furrowed. There had to be some way she could help take his mind off being in someplace that scared him. She took a minute to remember all the ways Reagan used to cheer her up when Mary had a bad day. Watching videos on the computer, reading a book together, watching a movie or a show, telling jokes…maybe the last one would work.

“Hey Vic! Wanna tell jokes together?” Mary kneeled down to his level and smiled as she spoke. “I know some funny ones!” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “Okay, why do we tell actors to break a leg?”

Vic said nothing, but Mary told him the answer anyway. “Because every play has a cast! Get it?”

“Ooh, I do,” Blanca held a hand to her chin as she contemplated the joke briefly.

She looked over at Vic to see if he cracked a smile. Nothing. “Alright, next joke! Have you heard about the new restaurant called karma?”

Yet again, no response from Vic.

“There’s no menu! You get what you deserve!” Mary bellowed with laughter upon saying the answer. “My dad taught me that one!” She persisted, fishing for any kind of response.

Instead of laughter, Vic shot a glare at her. “Mary. I am seriously not in the mood for jokes right now.”

The chill in his voice was enough to make everyone shudder. The tension was getting excruciating. Everything Mary tried was failing, and she had run out of options at this point. “Vic, I’m trying to make you happy and take your mind off the water,” Mary told him. She could feel herself trembling slightly as she groped for anything she could think of to make him happy. “I know you’re scared, but it won’t be much longer until we get to the exit, and I don’t want you to be bored.”

Vic curled into a ball. “Mary, this isn’t a conversation I want to have right now.”

Blanca’s eyes drooped. Tension was building, and she could tell this wasn’t going to end well. She instinctively acted to mitigate the situation. “Mary, sometimes trying to take one’s mind off their fear isn’t enough. Everyone has their own ways of dealing with things they’re afraid of, and Vic is doing all he can to keep himself together.”

“But Blancaaaa! Vic’s been sad for hours and my teacher says it’s good to cheer up someone who’s sad and try to make them happy!” Mary argued, unable to comprehend why none of her attempts at helping him worked. “We would act out scenes in class and play pretend, and Mr. Bryant would tell us what we did right, what we did wrong, and how we can do it differently! That’s how we learn social skills and now I’m trying to put them to use and it’s not…!”

Mary trailed off as the realization hit her like a lightning bolt in a blue sky. The whole situation wasn’t going in the way the social skills role-plays she and other kids acted out in class usually would. One lesson went over cheering up people who were sad, and often the solutions consisted of listening to them, offering moral support, or actively trying to cheer them up, like telling jokes or offering to play with them. Even outside of the role-playing, whenever she saw Reagan was upset, she always managed to cheer her up by either telling her jokes, sharing candy with her, or giving her a hug. Same with her father. Nothing she tried worked for Vic. Did being surrounded by water, or even being in this car, frighten him that much? It wasn’t like Vic was in any immediate danger, and unlike the Black Market Car, which was grimy and overrun with slugs, the Venice Car was pretty safe, even when riding on gondolas as long as one was careful.

“Well, this isn’t pretend, and I’m not an actor in a play!” Vic half-shouted.

‘Don’t push it further,’ Mary’s consciousness echoed in the confines of her mind. ‘Just leave him alone. He’ll go back to his usual self if you give him his space. You can’t rush these things, and you’re annoying him right now.’

But she ignored her mind’s warning and continued to argue. “I’m just trying to help you! That’s what friends do, right?” Mary proclaimed. Most people would kill for at least one person to be there for them when they’re scared and cheer them up. Why wouldn’t Vic take her up on her offers to cheer him up?

“You can help by giving me some space,” Vic reminded her. “I really don’t want to be cheered up right now. Please understand.”

She tried giving him space, and it didn’t work. It felt as if the space between them was freezing over, glossy and treacherous like thin ice on a freshly frozen lake. Even Blanca wasn’t quite sure what to do, as she kept nervously glancing between the two of them in their awkward silence. Mary sucked in a breath, the sea air burning her lungs as her hands curled into tight fists. This was so frustrating. She was doing everything she could to be there for Vic and make him happy, but he didn’t seem to want to appreciate it. Being scared was one thing, but..her mind grabbed hold of an uncharacteristically dark thought, and before she could stop herself, the words spilled out.

“Fine. Be that way,” Mary muttered bitterly. “I guess I shouldn’t try to cheer up someone who likes being miserable—” She cut herself off the second the venomous thought was vocalized, and her hollow voice broke in her ears.

Unfortunately, Vic heard every word. His tiny eyes flashed fire, and his reflexes came to life. He jumped right onto Mary’s hand and proceeded to sink his front teeth into the skin.

“Owww!!” Mary yelped, waving her hand to get him off. There was no need, as Vic released her right afterward and jumped back onto the floor.

“Vic! You needn’t have—” Blanca attempted to scold him, but the irate hamster cut her off.

“You have no right to decide what I should and shouldn’t feel!!” Vic screamed at the top of his lungs. “You know how scared I am of water! I’ve told you this, and I’ve been telling you hundreds of times to give me some space, to leave me alone, and you refused to respect my wishes and personal boundaries! And you have the nerve to say that I enjoy being miserable?!”

“That’s not—I’m sorry, I—I don’t—!” One word crashed into the other as Mary groped for something to say to contradict him. Nothing came to mind.

“My emotions and feelings don’t come with a damn on-off switch you can flip whenever it’s convenient!! Did it ever occur to you that you can’t just tell someone to be happy or sad or whatever?!” Vic shouted, baring his teeth as he did so. “You should know this! You’ve been through that kinda stuff with your damn mom! But when it’s somebody else going through the same thing, you just want them to get over it because you can’t be bothered to acknowledge their fears as valid or listen when they tell you to not do something?! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Vic’s angry voice exploded in her ears, and not even covering them with her hands worked to muffle it. Every word was like a salted knife being stabbed into her, and Mary could feel tears swelling in her eyes. Her throat swelled and closed up, rendering communication impossible.

“Vic, there’s no need to lash out,” Blanca reminded him, trying to keep her tone tempered. “What Mary said was wrong, yes, but we can handle this more maturely. Let’s just—”

“Don’t you dare defend her, Blanca!! She needs to hear this!! She needs to feel ashamed!!” Vic hollered back at her.

“She already is ashamed! Do you really think screaming at her is going to help?!” Blanca shot back, her voice sharper than usual.

Paying her no heed, Vic continued his tirade, turning right back to Mary as he did so, his furry face contorting with anger. “Let me ask you something, Mary. Did you want to cheer me up because you actually wanted to make me happy, or was it only because my being scared of water was inconvenient for you and you didn’t like it?”

Mary opened her mouth to respond…but nothing came out, and her face blanched as she took a step back. Did she really want to make him happy, or was he right? That she only wanted to cheer him up because seeing him scared made her uncomfortable?

As far as Vic was concerned, her silence spoke volumes. “Hmph. I really thought you were my friend. But I guess you only see me as some prop for your own validation or social skills practice, don’t you?”

Now this, she wasn’t going to let slide. “That’s not true!!” Mary shouted, finally rising to her own defense. “I’m sorry I said what I did just now! It just slipped out!”

“Like hell you are! Quit with the excuses!” Vic yelled, stamping his foot on the ground twice. “You’ve done nothing but pester me and disrespect my personal boundaries and dismissed my feelings like they meant nothing to you! You flat-out accused me of enjoying being miserable! Do you see me doing the same thing to you?! No!! And you say all this stuff even though you’ve been through it lots of times before!!”

Then he went for a low blow. “How does this make you any different from that damn mother you hate so much?!”

What?

Both Mary and Blanca’s jaws fell agape, appalled by what just spilled out from his mouth. Was he serious?

He actually claimed that Mary was somehow no different from her own mother?

Mary’s pulse rushed through her body, and blood pounded in her ears. She knew she had said something she shouldn’t have, so she knew Vic was right to scold her on that. Even if it was an accident, she did hurt his feelings and knew she should have listened to him instead of pressing the issue. But did that really warrant comparing her to her mother? Even when Vic had never even met her mother before? How would he know if they were similar or not? Her world ground to a halt and heat rose in her chest. She did not appreciate Vic calling her integrity into question…and saying she was like her mother?

Now that was a line he shouldn’t have crossed!

“NO!! I’m nothing like Mom!! How can you even say that?!” Mary shouted. Attempts to blink away her tears failed, and they trickled out as soon as she rose to her own defense. He had no idea what she had been through, so he had no right to claim she was no different from the person who made her life hell. “Why is me trying to help you such a bad thing?!”

“I told you I didn’t want help! I’d ask for it if I did! And I told you the best way to help me right now was to leave me alone, and you didn’t listen!! You’re still not listening even now!!” Vic roared right back, his fur bristling.

“Alright, enough!” Finally, Blanca stepped in. She coiled her hand around Vic and lifted him up, holding her other one in front of Mary, keeping her from moving. “I think you both need to step back and cool off. Vic, come with me real quick. Mary, you stay here and take a minute or two to calm down.”

With Vic still in her hand, Blanca walked away from the pier and into an alley close by. Vic struggled and pushed on her hand to try and free himself to no avail. Once they were out of sight, Mary found herself alone with the gondola. She put her backpack and Mimi down on the ground to give her back a break, then sat down next to it. Anger simmered inside her, boiling her up from the inside.

“Why does Vic have to be so mean?!” Mary screeched, shaking her fists up and down to push the anger out. It didn’t work. “All I wanted was to cheer him up! What’s so bad about that?! Why is this going so wrong?!”

None of this made any sense. She had tried to give him space, but she could tell Vic was still upset the entire time he was on the gondola. Did he mean give him space until they exited the car? She would have left him alone had he just told her that. At this point, she didn’t know what to think. But…a part of her wondered if he was actually right. Did she really want to make him happy for his sake, or her own? Was she no different from her mother in that aspect? Previously, Mary had been happy to have a friend like Vic, who seemed to understand her pain and loneliness. But at this point, he probably wanted nothing to do with her anymore, and saying sorry didn’t seem to work.

Mary looked over at the gondola…and lightning struck in her mind. If Vic wanted her to leave him alone, she’d do just that. Although her heart protested, reminding her that this was dangerous, she paid the internal warnings no heed. She sat in the gondola and reached over to the piling to undo the rope, which was surprisingly loose and easy to undo. She pulled one of Alvise’s oars out of the gondola and pushed it against the peer, allowing her to set out onto the canal. Maybe it was better this way.

“I’ll go through the train by myself,” Mary muttered to herself as she pushed the oar through the water to propel the gondola forward. “If Vic doesn’t want me around, fine. No matter what I do…it’s never good enough…I bet Blanca will be better off without me, too.”

Her consciousness pleaded with her to stay, that this was a reckless, dangerous thing to do, that she ought to just wait things out and apologize again when Vic cooled down a bit. But considering how her mother seemed to love holding Mary’s mistakes over her head even years after the fact, she was sure Vic would probably do the same, since he was so angry about it. Tears trickled out as she pushed the oar into the water to move the gondola. Guilt weighed her down. One mistake was all it took to completely ruin everything. One single mistake, one slip of the tongue, and it all came crashing down. Mary wished she had just kept her mouth shut and left him alone like he asked.

Another thought came to mind: Maybe her mother was right. Maybe all she ever did was cause trouble for everyone around her. Maybe she really was a burden, like her mother said she was, doing nothing but hold everyone back. Thank goodness she still had Mimi. Otherwise, she didn’t know what she’d do.

Wait…where was Mimi?

Mary looked down. Her backpack and Mimi were nowhere in sight. She looked up, right at the peer, and saw her backpack and Mimi near the end, gasping as the realization hit her. She had put them down so she could get herself onto the gondola, planning to take them with her, but was so wrapped up in her anger that she forgot to bring them with her. Her eyes widened and in her panicked delirium, she shot up from the gondola.

“Mimi!” She pulled the oar out from the water and tried to move it to the other side

But when she attempted to position herself, the gondola bobbed wildly, and…she lost her balance. Craning downward, Mary let out a scream as water consumed her whole.

Today was not a good day for Dana Summers. Her car was surrounded by other cars, all of them stuck in a big traffic jam on the Squirrel Hill Tunnel, and all moving at a glacial pace. At this point, she had been stuck here for about an hour, and while she was closer to the tunnel than before, waiting was no less irritating. Even putting the radio on didn’t ease the tension amassing within her. Then again, she had spent another hour being interrogated by the police, and about her blog, no less. Her heart pulsated in her chest, and she pressed her teeth down on her lower lip as she recalled the interrogation.

“They have a lot of nerve, going through my personal blog like that,” Dana muttered to herself, her words dripping with venom.

It wasn’t just the blatant invasion of her privacy that left her simmering. The only other people that knew about the blog were some other mothers at the autism support group she attended and some friends on the internet she shared the link with. Even though the blog was technically public, that didn’t mean the detective overseeing Mary’s case had permission to see it, as far as Dana was concerned. It wasn’t even that the detective actually believed she was going to go through with sterilizing Mary when she turned 18.

“Just because I wrote something out on the internet doesn’t mean I’m actually going to do it! I was just venting!” Dana had shouted at Detective Outteridge when he questioned her about it. As far as Dana was concerned, that statement was just a bad thought she wrote out to get it out of her system. Said sterilization wasn’t even set in stone. Not yet, anyway. Besides, what choices Dana made for her daughter were nobody’s business. It wasn’t even that they suspected her of abusing Mary, with the blog detailing all that she had done to her. What could they possibly know about abuse? They didn’t live through it like Dana did.

No, it was something that Detective Outteridge had asked her about earlier.

“Do you think it’s possible that Mary saw the blog and all that you wrote about her?” Dt. Outteridge’s words echoed in her mind like a bad dream. “Because if I was a child and found out my mother basically broadcasted to the entire internet that she hates me and my whole existence, I’d be crushed.”

Mary? See her blog? And understand everything Dana wrote about her? Impossible. There was just no way. Dana was always careful never to keep her blog open for all to see. Not even minimized whenever she had it open. She even made sure to clear it from her internet history whenever possible. She didn’t want her husband seeing it and jumping to conclusions about her. Besides, it wasn’t like she could trust Todd with anything anymore, since he pulled Mary out of ABA against Dana’s wishes. And even if Mary did see her blog, there was no way she could understand anything that Dana wrote. She knew nothing about things like power of attorney or sterilization, and she still struggled with reading comprehension, if her teacher’s notes were anything to go by. Mary was nine years old. She didn’t need to learn about those things.

At least, that was what Dana told herself.

Her phone blared to life, the ringtone making a merry, musical chime. Dana glanced at the name on the caller ID. It was an unknown number. Probably a telemarketer. As much as she wanted to ignore it, a part of her reasoned that maybe someone was trying to reach her. Maybe a friend she forgot to name in her contacts. Maybe it was a telemarketer. Who knew? At this point, Dana was bored, and her frustration mounted. Answering it would at least pass the time. With a grunt, Dana swiped the green phone button upward.

“Hello?”

“Dana! About time you answered!” The raspy voice of an elderly woman croaked from the other line. “You’ve been ignoring my calls for months! You really should know better than to ignore your mother like that, young lady!”

Great. The one person she never wanted to talk to again. Dana’s expression contorted with disgust. As much as she wanted to just hang up on her, she knew doing that would be futile, as her mother would just keep calling her until she got what she wanted and said her piece.

“Mother, I really don’t have time to talk right now,” Dana’s voice cracks, harsher than her greeting. “My youngest daughter’s missing and I’m out looking for her.”

“Oh, I’m well aware. It’s been all over the news,” Her mother said. “You really need to keep a closer eye on your children. A good mother is always attentive.”

Good grief. Dana shrugged, but her brows furrowed. Just like that, her mother dropped barbed words on her as easily as putting mail in the mailbox. She had braced herself, but every hit seemed to hurt worse than the last. Not only that, Dana had been nothing but attentive to Mary, and look what happened. She shook her head lamely. Her mother wouldn’t understand.

“It’s not like we were out and she just wandered off. She was kidnapped,” Dana hissed through clenched teeth, and her fingers tightened around the steering wheel. Dana knew her house had no signs of forced entry, and there was still no solid evidence that she even was kidnapped, like unfamiliar footprints or signs of a struggle. All they knew was that Mary’s window had been opened early in the morning and that she was gone when they woke up. But Dana knew her mother wouldn’t care how Mary disappeared. “By who, we have no idea, and the police have been searching for her this past week and a half.”

“Maybe you ought to invest in one of those newfangled security systems from now on,” Her mother sneered.

If there was one thing Dana hated more than anything, it was people thinking her problems had a quick-and-easy solution when there couldn’t possibly be one.

“I mean, you do work, don’t you?” Her mother continued, her voice bordering on condescending. “I honestly don’t see why you have to. Maybe if you didn’t work so much and did what you were supposed to do, you’d have been able to keep a better hold on that spoiled brat of yours.”

“That’s not the reason why she’s gone!” Dana shouted, slamming her hands on both sides of the steering wheel. “Stop trying to make everything out to be my fault! I have enough on my plate as it is without you adding to it with your constant nitpicking!”

Dana was trapped. She felt trapped her whole life. Trapped in this traffic jam. Trapped in a house where she was used as a tool for her parents’ performance evaluation. Trapped in a house raising an unruly child who would probably never be normal according to Dr. Goldman. Trapped in a possibly crumbling marriage, and now, trapped yet again with her mother’s voice chipping away at what little sanity and composure she had.

“You ought to be grateful that I actually bother to call you and check on you!” Her mother screeched. “I wouldn’t be nitpicking if you had just accepted my help and advice to begin with!”

“Says the woman who looked through my husband’s cell phone and wrote down my number even when I told you to never talk to me or call me ever again! Do you honestly think after everything you’ve put me through, that I ever wanted your so-called help and advice?!”

A staticky sigh crackled on the other end of Dana’s cellphone. “Tch. What else is new? Dana Summers ignoring sound advice and refusing to acknowledge when she’s completely and utterly failed,” She scoffed. “I never should have let you run off to Pennsylvania and shack up with that spineless, floppy noodle you call a husband. You let your kids run wild and don’t even bother to discipline them—”

“I discipline them just fine, thank you very much!” Dana shot back, but her mother paid her no heed and continued talking over her. “And don’t talk about my husband like that!”

“—And now you’ve let one of them go missing because you can’t be bothered to keep them under control.”

“I do nothing BUT try to keep Mary under control! That’s all I’ve ever done for the past eight years!”

It was here that Dana noticed traffic was finally starting to move like normal again. Cars were gradually gaining speed around her, and she slowly put her foot on the gas.

“The fact that you couldn’t prevent her from getting kidnapped proves you’re an unfit mother. Always have been,” Her mother growled, her venom only growing more potent with every word.

Unfit mother. The two words put together echoed in her mind on repeat, like a broken record player. It was like she could never escape that label.

“I don’t have to listen to your bullshit! I’m done!” Dana barked before swiping the red icon across her phone.

“Don’t you dare hang up on me, young lady—” Her mother attempted to get the last word, but her line got cut off.

Everything around her turned orange as she drove into the tunnel. Not even seeing the aftermath of the car accident pulled Dana from her thoughts. In a way, Dana was happy her mother was at the very least being honest with her feelings, rather than feigning contentment and making everyone, herself included, play pretend at being a functional, happy family. But knowing that did nothing to alleviate the pain she endured over the past few decades. It was obvious her mother saw Mary going missing as yet another attempt to criticize Dana and her life choices. Did she seriously think mothers could see into the future and set up magical barriers that prevented children from leaving their houses or intruders coming in? It wasn’t like they could afford a security system. Those things cost thousands of dollars, which Dana didn’t have.

Was there no end to her turmoil? Dana heaved a great big sigh, her eyes blank and desolate as she kept her eyes on the road. All around her, there was so much life. Sounds from every direction…and Dana wondered where she fit among them. Would there ever be some place Dana could escape to?

Dana wasn’t sure. She thought things would be better now that Mary was gone. Only now did she realize that wasn’t the case at all.

“Put me down!” Vic struggled from within Blanca’s surprisingly tight grip. For a squishy marshmallow, her grip was really strong. It wasn’t long before they found a quiet alleyway, and Blanca set him down on a wooden box. When he looked up, he saw a stern expression on Blanca’s face that was very unlike her. In a way, it made chills run down his spine.

Blanca let out a sigh before she spoke. “Vic, I understand you’re angry. You have every right to be. Mary shouldn’t have said what she did, even if she didn’t mean anything by it,” She kept her voice calm and composed, though Vic could hear lingering frustration as well. “But you know lashing out at her isn’t the best course of action.”

Vic turned his head away. “Yeah, well, it’s her fault for not respecting my space and personal boundaries!” Vic spat. “And saying I enjoy being miserable! Well, I don’t! I just don’t want to be in a train car that’s full of water! It’s like when Mary was in the Black Market Car and couldn’t stand the slugs! It’s the same thing, and we respected her right to be afraid! But she thinks she has the right to control how I feel?!”

“I highly doubt that was her intention,” Blanca reminded him. “She only wanted to cheer you up, that’s all. I do agree that she should have respected your personal boundaries, but you have to understand, she told us she isn’t like regular passengers. She said it’s harder for her to understand or process certain concepts as quickly and as well as other people do. I’m not saying that’s an excuse, but it’s something to at least take into consideration.”

The hamster remembered what Mary told him in the Heian Era Car. Blanca was right. Mary mentioned being autistic, and that made it harder for her to understand or process the world around her…and all the pain people who didn’t understand or accept it caused her. His tiny, furry body deflated.

“Besides, it’s likely she was just restless and bored from the gondola ride,” Blanca said. “You have to remember, she’s still a child. Children say things they don’t mean all the time, and we both know for a fact that Mary isn’t the type of person who would only do things for her own self-satisfaction. Why would she save you from the cross-eyed ducks if she genuinely didn’t care about you?”

The ducks…how could he have forgotten? His contorted, angry face softened as he remembered Mary holding off the ducks with the umbrella spear he gave her. She could have easily just let the ducks eat him and go on her merry way. She was under no obligation to help him in any way…but she did. Hell, she even offered to let him join her on her journey, when so many others had rejected him. After all that she did, how could he not see her as a friend? Only now did the gravity of his previous words sink in. Remorse overtook him.

“I’m an idiot of the highest order…” Vic curled back into a ball, hiding his face in shame. “How could I say those things to her?”

Blanca kneeled down and stroked his fur with one finger. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Vic. You and Mary both just need to cool off for however long you need, and you can apologize to one another when you feel you’re ready. It’s not the end of the world,” Blanca reminded him, her voice returning to its dulcet sweetness. “You’re both learning and growing up, and that’s what life is all about.”

“...this isn’t my first rodeo.”

“Hm?”

Vic slowly uncurled, turning around to face the wall. “You saw how the other hamsters in my car are, right?” He asked. “After those kids attacked us, everyone became a lot more nervous and on edge, treating every passenger who passed through with disdain.”

“I’m well aware,” How could Blanca forget? When she and Mary went through the Hamster Car, the denizens wanted them out as soon as possible.

“Me and my parents are the only ones who didn’t change our views on passengers,” Vic continued on. “We helped people who would stop by whenever possible, but all the other hamsters seemed to take it as a personal offense. Like we were committing some kind of crime. Dad said it was best to leave the other hamsters alone, as we can’t forcibly change their worldview. But…” Vic’s voice faltered, and he curled his hand into a fist. “They wanted us to be just like them, and were pretty persistent, too.”

Vic looked over a large set of blueprints set out over his table. He moved all the books he had on there to the front of one of his shelves so he could have space to work. There was so much that needed to be done. The roof and ceiling were completely gone, so Vic’s brick house was completely exposed from the top. But he was too small to take that on by himself, so for the time being, he needed to fix what he knew he could fix. After glancing over the blueprints, he scuttled over to one side of his house and began examining a large yellow tube that he had lying around. He wanted to make sure it was sturdy enough to hold his weight. Tapping on it twice, he could feel it was reasonably light, but not too light. He put both hands at the edges of one end, dragging it across the house, but stopped when his ears caught footsteps. He looked over at the entrance. A group of hamsters watched him from the entrance, with arms crossed and eyes narrowed into disapproving slits.

“What are you guys doing here?” Vic groaned. “I’m busy right now.”

“We were hoping to get you to see reason,” One hamster with gray fur replied tersely.

Vic knew what they were implying, and had zero interest in humoring them. “Well guess what? I’m not interested in anything you have to say,” He spat back at them before hoisting the yellow tube upright. “Unless you want to help me rebuild my house.”

The hamsters all exchanged concerned glances. As far as Vic was concerned, their silence spoke volumes. A hamster with brown fur and darker stripes walked into his house and spoke next. “Vic, please. We’re concerned that this obsession of yours is clouding your judgment,” She said.

“Clouding my judgment?” Vic sneered. “My judgment is just fine, thank you very much! I’m not the one treating every single passenger that walks through here like dirt just because they’re human!”

Another hamster, a pure white one, immediately ran over to his books and began rummaging through them. “Hey! Don’t touch those!” Vic shouted, dropping the tube and rushing over to take the book back. But the white hamster persisted, clamping both hands on the corner of the hardcover book and attempting to pull it away.

“These cursed objects need to be purged!” The white hamster bellowed. “You’ll thank us for chewing them up or setting them on fire later!”

Other hamsters rushed into the house as well, ransacking the place. The gray hamster kicked an antique lamp off a cabinet, and the colored glass exploded into shards as soon as it made contact with the floor. Several other hamsters began throwing books onto the floor, ripping or chewing through the pages. Vic’s jaw fell agape. He couldn’t believe what he was playing out before him. He knew all the other hamsters were terrified of humans, but…here they were, ransacking his house, destroying his property even though he told them to keep their hands off it!

“Stop! Stop it!!” Vic screamed, unable to take it anymore. He kicked two hamsters off the book they were ripping up, and threw a small pillow at three others who were tearing up a knitted scarf.

“What’s all that noise?” An older hamster with Vic’s color scheme crawled over the brick walls. When he saw the carnage taking place, the older hamster’s eyes flared with anger. “HEY!! Take your hands off our property!!”

The hamster’s voice boomed all across the area, and with Vic’s house having no ceiling, it seemed to reverberate. Thankfully, to Vic’s relief, the hamsters put a stop to their destruction and scuttled back to the entrance.

“Dad…” It was rare for Vic to see his father showing anger. He was usually calm and composed. Vic’s father crawled down the brick wall and stood right in front of the coffee table that was covered by Vic’s blueprints, staring daggers at the other hamsters. It was as if he dared them to even so much as lay a hand on his property again.

Unfortunately for them, the gray hamster refused to budge. “You two are insane! How can you possibly behave the way you do after what those hellions did to us?! We’re trying to help you see the error of your ways!”

Vic’s father shook his head grimly. “I fail to see what’s so wrong about acquiring knowledge from passengers, Nils,” He said, his voice a calmer, deeper baritone than before. “You have every right to fear humans and passengers, and you know we won’t force you to change your way of thinking. But don’t you think resorting to destroying our things just because we don’t share your beliefs is a little overkill? Do you see us doing the same to your property?”

The gray hamster—Nils—bared his teeth, his face contorting into visceral disgust. “You Liberatores think you’re so much better than the rest of us, don’t you?” Nils’ tone bordered on patronizing. “Acting all high and mighty with all that knowledge of the outside world you’ve acquired!” Nils began waving his index finger at both Vic and his father, shouting as he did so. “I can’t imagine why you enjoy being miserable so much!”

Enjoy being miserable? What did he mean? Vic couldn’t believe his ears. What right did these hamsters have to barge into his house, destroy most of his property, jump to conclusions about them, and act like they were doing him some great service? And they claimed Vic and his family enjoyed being miserable? Just because they didn’t share their view of passengers? Vic couldn’t keep it in anymore.

“Oh, suck it, asshole!” Vic roared right back at him, stomping right up to him and leaning in so close, their noses were only centimeters apart. “We’re not the miserable ones here! We’re not the ones going around destroying people’s stuff just because we don’t think like you do! When are you gonna accept that not every single passenger that comes through here is like those damn Apex kids?!”

None of the hamsters had a response. But as far as Vic was concerned, their silence spoke volumes.

“I’ll handle this, Vic,” His father put a reassuring hand on his shoulder before approaching the group. “Nils, everyone…we understand you’re afraid, and we’re more than happy to respect that. But we would very much appreciate it if you respect our way of life and don’t try to dictate how we should live it.”

“So stay in your lane and we’ll stay in ours!” Vic couldn’t resist getting one last parting shot on. “If you guys wanna sit in the mud, you do that! But you don’t get to drag us down with you!”

Realizing that this was going nowhere, the hamsters finally decided to leave Vic’s house, with Nils being the last to leave. The tension in the air finally dissipated, but Vic frowned as he looked upon the state of his house…or what was left of it. Several books had pages torn out or were chewed into pieces. His antique lamp was little more than a pile of glass shards. The knitted scarf he once used for warmth was now reduced to yarn. Other knick-knacks he and his parents acquired were scattered to and fro, with some broken into pieces. Like it wasn’t bad enough their house had been destroyed previously.

Vic’s father flashed a smile as he picked up a piece of yarn. “It’ll be alright, Vic,” He told his son reassuringly. “How about we get back to work? There’s nothing that’ll keep us down.”

Getting back to work would certainly take his mind off things. Vic smiled at his father and nodded.

“My word…” Other than those two words, Blanca found herself speechless when Vic finished his story.

“I know Mary didn’t mean anything by it,” Vic said. “And a part of me knew that. But hearing those words ‘you enjoy being miserable’ ...just brought that memory back, and…I shouldn’t have lost it and said what I did. I just…” Vic grunted as he slammed his fist on the wooden box he sat upon. “I’m just so damn sick of people telling me who I’m supposed to be and punishing me for wanting to be myself!”

Oddly enough, Blanca held a hand to her mouth to stifle a chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” Vic asked tersely.

“I apologize. It’s just…it seems you and Mary are a lot alike,” Blanca pointed out.

Vic and Mary? Alike? How so? Before Vic could ask, a high pitched scream cut through the air. It belonged to a voice they recognized right away. Vic and Blanca sprinted from the alley and back to the pier. The black gondola they rode on was back on the water, laying on its side. A black haired figure splashed water everywhere in an attempt to stay afloat, and they kept bobbing up and down into the canal. Both Vic and Blanca blanched when they realized who it was and what was happening.

“Help meeeeee!!” It was Mary.

“Crap! Mary needs help!!” Vic cried out.

So many questions ran through his head, and they all froze him in place. What was Mary doing out there? How’d she even get out onto the water? How could he even help her? He was too small to just go in and try to save her, lest he wind up drowning himself. What could he even do?

“Vic,” Blanca’s voice brought him back to reality. “Go find Alvise. You can track him by smell, can’t you?”

Vic lowered his nose to the ground and caught Alvise’s scent. “Sure can! Be right back!” At least Blanca gave him one thing he could do. With Alvise’s scent locked into his nostrils, Vic sprinted away from the pier, leaving Blanca all by herself. The human-shaped marshmallow looked all around, hoping to find something she could use to help Mary. Her energy was seeping away fast. Luckily, she found something she could use, a large, round lifesaver ring, white with orange stripes, and with a thick rope. She pulled it from the piling.

“Mary!! Grab onto this!!” Blanca called out as loud as she could. With the flotation ring in hand, the marshmallow stretched her arm as long as possible, right toward Mary. Once she held the ring close enough, Mary wasted no time twining both arms around it.

“I’ll pull you back slowly! Don’t let go no matter what!” Blanca shouted. Mary nodded and held on as the marshmallow carefully pulled her back, with one hand on the ring, and the other pulling the rope for extra security. She didn’t want to pull her in too fast, because if she did, Mary might slip and let go by accident.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, Blanca pulled Mary out of the water and onto the pier. At this time, Vic returned with Alvise following behind him. Mary coughed and hacked water out of her system, her clothes and hair sopping wet, clinging to her body on all sides.

“Mary! Are you okay?” Blanca asked.

Mary kept coughing, unable to answer right away, but she saw Vic approaching her with a worried look on his face. When he got close, Mary instantly recoiled, scrambling away from him. She took a minute to process Blanca and Alvise staring at her with equally worried expressions…and her eyesight blurred. Tears trickled out, and everything was too much to bear. She immediately broke into a crying fit before standing up and running away.

“I’M SORRYYYYY!!” Mary screamed before sprinting away from the scene, leaving a trail of wet shoe prints behind her.

It took no time at all for Vic to figure out what she was apologizing for, and guilt weighed him down further. He barely noticed Blanca setting his backpack down and leaving to go after her. But his peripheral vision did catch Blanca…shrinking.

As for Mary, she ran into an empty alley, sitting down between two trash cans, curling into a ball, and bawling into her arms. She didn’t care that her clothes and hair were wet. As far as she was concerned, this might as well be a fitting punishment for not listening to Vic and leaving him alone when he told her to several times and saying that he liked being miserable. How could she have said that to her friend? At this point, Mary wouldn’t blame Vic at all if he decided he didn’t want to be friends with her anymore after that. Who would want to hang out with someone who was so dismissive of their feelings and fears? Mary’s tiny body was wracked with sobs, and the tears seemed endless.

“How does that make you any different from that damn mother you hate so much?!” Vic’s words, like shards of glass, tore into her memories. Was Vic right? Was she a lot like her mother and was deluding herself into thinking she wasn’t? Maybe she really was just a whiny, entitled brat who couldn’t handle the harshness of reality, or didn’t have empathy, like many of the weird doctors her parents took her to said. 

Surely, that was the case, right?

“Mary?” Blanca’s sweet voice, like a river flowing through a vast desert, pierced through the garbled static of her self-deprecating thoughts. “Mary. I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Well, don’t be! You should have let me drown!” Mary shot back. “I didn’t deserve to be saved after the mean things I said to Vic! You should be telling me I’m a bad kid who doesn’t care about anybody but myself and that my mom was right to hate me! That Vic is right to be angry at me!”

“Why would I do that?” Blanca asked. “I hardly think your mistake warrants a punishment so…extreme. But can I ask…did you try to take the gondola and leave all by yourself?”

Mary gave a slow nod.

“Why?”

“I thought you and Vic would be better off without me,” Mary sputtered, keeping her focus on her arms and the darkness that came from closing her eyes. “Vic said to leave him alone, so I figured I’d do just that. Besides…I know all I do is hold you back and make you guys mad. You don’t have to lie or pretend to like me.”

“Now Mary, that’s certainly not what Vic meant by leaving him alone. Neither of us want you to leave. Not permanently, and you know we’re not pretending to like you,” Blanca reminded her. “He only wanted some space until we left the car, that’s all. It’s like how you couldn’t stand to be in the Black Market Car because of the slugs.”

Come to think of it…that did make sense. She did wonder about that earlier, but wasn’t sure if she should ask him about it, as her mother told her it was rude to ask someone personal questions. There was so much she wished she could have done. Anything except what she actually did in response to Vic wanting her to respect his personal boundaries.

“Let me ask you something, Mary,” Blanca said. “In your world, did you ever have times where you were sad to the point of not wanting to be cheered up? Were you ever in a place that you absolutely hated and wanted to get out of there no matter what, but couldn’t?”

Mary stopped to ruminate on Blanca’s question. Actually, there had been plenty of times like that. The ABA sessions, for one, but she wasn’t sure she could really explain that to Blanca well enough. She barely understood them herself. It had been so long ago, and it was hard to put what she experienced into words, if at all. She lifted her head up from her tear stained arms to think about it a little more. One memory came rushing right back.

“I remember one time last year, my parents took Reagan and I to one of their friend’s houses for a party,” Mary explained. “But people were talking really loud and the music was loud. Mom wouldn’t let me bring earplugs or Mimi, and she kept wanting me to talk to people there, even when I was tired and didn’t want to.”

Everything came back to her like she had experienced it just yesterday. The loud rock music playing on a big radio. Bearded faces and overly curious eyes looking down at her, expecting her to parrot greetings and answers to weird questions she barely understood. Noise in every direction. People taking up all possible space, leaving her with nowhere to run. Her mother glaring at her whenever she either wanted to hide or said something she thought was inappropriate, even when it wasn’t worth making a fuss over. At one point during the party, Mary went into the basement and found a big, plush couch to sit on. The basement was quiet and she sat in there for probably the better part of half an hour, savoring the silence for as long as she could.

“Mom found me later on, and she was mad,” Mary told Blanca, remembering the scolding she received when her mother tracked her down, along with her venomous voice.

“What are you doing in here? You need to come back upstairs!”

“Mom, it’s too loud and crowded.”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. You get back out there and socialize like you’re supposed to!”

“But I’m tired!”

Mary winced when she remembered her mother’s fingernails digging into the skin of her arm as she dragged her out of the basement. “Just because you like being miserable, doesn’t mean you get to humiliate me in front of my friends and colleagues!” She had hissed right in her face, her anger spilling out all around Mary, and there was no escape. “Go out there. Eat the food. Look people in the eye when they talk to you. Pretend to be interested in someone else’s feelings for once. You’re not going to pull these tricks on me and make me into the freak-show of Woodland Hills.”

Wait…Dana had claimed Mary somehow “enjoyed being miserable,” ignoring the fact that Mary just wanted to hide from the noise and crowds.

Just like she herself did to Vic when all he wanted was to get to the exit and leave the Venice Car forever.

A new wave of guilt washed over her. It was here that Vic’s words and accusations finally sunk in.

“Maybe…maybe I am just like my mom. I said something horrible to Vic…I did the same thing to him that Mom did to me!” Mary broke into another pitiful sob as she finally understood the gravity of what she had done.

A squishy hand rested on Mary’s wet pant leg. “You understand now why what you did was wrong. But that doesn’t mean you can’t learn from it. You’ve done so before,” Blanca reassured her. “Let me ask you: Do you want to be like your mother?”

Did she? Mary knew the answer to that, and it was easy as pie to decide. “No. Not at all. I don’t ever want to be like her, even if we are…similar in some ways. I don’t want to be mean and cruel and hurt people’s feelings like she does or make people do stuff they don’t want to even after they say no.”

“Then that’s all there is to it. Besides, I highly doubt a bad person would feel guilty about their actions and want to apologize, now would they?”

Good point there. Mary wiped her eyes. Blanca was right. Even if she and her mother were similar in some ways, that didn’t make Mary a clone of her. Mary didn’t want to be like her mother. She needed to apologize to Vic and make things right.

“I’m sorry, Blanca. For taking off with the gondola and worrying you,” Mary lifted her head up from her arms and looked towards Blanca…her mouth fell open when she saw that Blanca had shrunk to Vic’s size. “Uhh…why are you tiny?”

Blanca’s cheeks flushed pink. “Well, I’ve neglected to mention something to you previously,” The now tiny sentient marshmallow stammered shamefully. “Shapeshifting takes a lot of energy, and I find that if I spend too much time in a form that’s not my original one, if I transform back to normal, I shrink to this size. When I’m like this, I can’t transform again until at least half an hour passes so I can conserve energy.”

That made sense. Mary also figured out this meant that Blanca, being as small as she is now, wouldn’t be able to carry their backpacks. Mary didn’t mind carrying her own backpack, but knew Vic’s was too big for him to carry on his own.

“But there’s no need to worry,” Blanca reminded her. “I’ll be back to normal later on. Why don’t you take a moment to calm down so you can get yourself together? You can apologize to Vic when you feel you’re ready.”

That sounded like a good idea. But there was one thing Mary needed to do before then.

“I need to change my clothes, though. I’m all wet and sticky.”

Once Mary’s sobs dissipated and she and Blanca returned to the now upright gondola, Mary took a moment to grab some clean clothes, hide somewhere quiet, and change into them so she didn’t feel wet and damp anymore. She put her wet clothes back in her bag, making sure they were separated from her books so the water didn’t ruin them. Alvise let them back onto the gondola, and from then on, the ride was back to being slow, smooth, and pleasant. There was one noticeable change: Instead of hiding under the seat, Vic sat on top of his backpack, which Mary kept between her legs so she could keep it in place. Blanca rested on Mary’s left shoulder throughout the entire ride.

Thankfully, this ride only lasted about twenty minutes, and they finally reached the exit. “Alright, guests! Here we are! Watch your step,” Alvise positioned the gondola in front of the platform. Mary took it upon herself to put Vic’s backpack on it first before stepping off the gondola.

“Thank you for the ride, Alvise, and sorry for…what I did,” Mary bowed in a 90-degree angle.

“It’s alright. Be careful on your way out, and have a safe journey!” Alvise waved goodbye before sailing down another canal nearby.

Mary knew exactly what she needed to do next. With her own backpack secure on her back, Mary picked up Vic’s yellow one, holding it close to her body as she approached the exit. Mary then lifted one of her legs to nudge the yellow handle to make it move. It worked, and the door opened. The trio went through, and the door closed behind them. Once it did so, Mary sat right down, with Vic stretching his limbs outward, heaving a big, relieved sigh.

“Finally! We’re out! God, that felt like forever!” Vic exclaimed. “Now I can actually relax!”

Mary didn’t blame him. She felt the same way. The three of them remained where they were, not wanting to move on to the next train car yet. For now, they just wanted to savor the silence, hearing nothing but the roar of winds across the wastelands. Vic took a moment to reorient himself before standing up and crawling to the top of his backpack, facing Mary with a remorseful look on his face.

“Mary. I’m sorry for the cruel things I said to you earlier,” Vic said, his voice more fragile than Mary had ever heard previously. “I never should have gone off on you the way I did.”

“No, you were right to be mad at me,” Mary shook her head. “I should have listened to you and left you alone like you wanted me to, but I didn’t, and…I’m sorry, too. I know I can be annoying and careless, and I guess I still have a lot to learn about being…a friend.”

Vic crossed his arms. “True, but I could have handled things better on my end, so in a way, we’re both in the same boat.”

The two of them broke into light chuckles. A green flash pulled them out of their laughter. The number on Mary’s hand was changing. Mary opened her hand so she, Vic, and Blanca could have a look. After a few seconds, the number turned into a solid 70.

“Wow. I think that’s the most it’s ever gone down,” Vic noted.

When Mary first got on the train, her number was at 120. Now it was down to almost half that. It was here that Mary began to see the pattern. Her number would go down if she faced her flaws and mistakes. Like Blanca had said, learning from one’s mistakes was how one grew as a person. A smile spread across her face as warmth lurched in her chest. Maybe seeing her number go down wasn’t bad after all. Even if having it go down meant she was that much closer to going back home, she didn’t want to leave just yet. Not when she just managed to reconcile with Vic.

“So…do you still, um…want to…be friends?” Mary stammered.

Vic wasted no time answering. “Of course. I mean, yeah, we got into a fight, but it’s not the end of the world. Friends don’t just stop being friends just because of one spat. We work it out and move on. That’s all there is to it,” Vic reminded her. “That being said…if you’re okay with having someone as blunt and temperamental like me as your friend, I still…want to help you through your journey. Is that okay?”

The sheepish hamster extended his tiny hand out. Instinctively, Mary knew what this gesture meant. Vic wanted to know if Mary was okay with having someone like him as a friend, flaws and all. Did he even need to ask? Mary stuck her pinkie finger out, making contact with Vic’s hand.

“Only if you don’t mind having an annoying, thoughtless kid like me as your friend, too. I promise to be a better friend from now on, and I’d be happy if you could teach me how.”

Blanca sprouted a tiny hand and put it on top of Vic’s hand and Mary’s pinkie. “Count me in as well.”

With that, the friendship that had been briefly broken was mended. Better than mended, probably made stronger than before. Mary was unsure of the last time she felt this happy. Even though she had made a mistake, said and did something she shouldn’t have, this time it didn’t feel like it would be held over her head forever or used as “proof” of how she wasn’t normal like everyone else. It was here that it dawned on Mary: All throughout their argument, not once did Vic ever draw attention to her being autistic. This only made her respect Vic all the more, blunt honesty and all. Of course, both Mary and Vic weren’t blind to the fact that past traumas can’t necessarily be fixed overnight. They can still have a relentless hold…but for now, they weren’t the same chains as they once were.

For now, in this very moment, things were fine, and that was enough for the time being.

Chapter Text

“Ugh! So sticky!” Mary groaned as she and her friends exited another car, brushing jelly beans out of her hair. Red, yellow, purple, green, pink, there were so many of them, and several were caught in her braids. Thankfully, after some careful combing with her fingers, she managed to pry the rest of them out of her hair, so she no longer felt weighed down.

“Hey Mary?” Vic called out from right below her. Mary looked down and saw that Vic was scratching both his ears and fur. Several jellybeans fell out. “I think I might need some help getting one out.”

“Sure!” Mary knelt down and combed through Vic’s fur with her fingers, taking care not to scratch too hard. One particularly stubborn jellybean, a blue one, was caught in his hair. “Do you have any scissors in your yellow backpack?” Mary asked.

“Yep! It’s in one of the pockets on your left. The scissors are bright green,” Vic told her. Without a word, Blanca set down his backpack so Mary could dig through it. She looked through one of the pockets, rummaging through it to find some scissors. Something light green caught her eye. The object was a pair of scissors with a bright green handle, exactly as described. Mary returned to Vic and very gently cut the stubborn jellybean out of Vic’s fur.

“There we go!” Mary proclaimed before throwing the hairy jellybean out into the wasteland.

Vic smiled as he used his leg to scratch the back of his ear. “Phew! Now that feels waaaay better! Thanks!”

“You’re welcome!” Mary replied, putting the scissors back in Vic’s backpack. “I never did like jelly beans. They’re so hard to chew!”

Mary remembered sometimes receiving them during Halloween, whenever she would go around the neighborhood with Reagan and get candy. She didn’t mind their taste, but to her, it felt like she was chewing on rocks, and it often took forever for her to eat them.

“I like them okay,” Vic chimed in.

Blanca threw a handful of them into her mouth before she spoke. “I find them pretty delectable myself. One of my sons absolutely loves them.”

Considering Blanca came from a car that was literally a world of sweets and candy, Mary wasn’t surprised by this factoid. She wondered if it would be considered cannibalism if the sentient marshmallows in the Sweets Car would eat non-living marshmallows. But she refrained from asking, finding the subject a little too morbid to try and untangle in her mind. Now that they were no longer covered in jelly beans, the trio walked across the bridge and made it to the next car, with Mary turning the handle and opening the door.

Their jaws fell agape as the red door revealed an ocean of flowers spread out before them. Flowers as far as the eye could see, in almost every color of the rainbow. When they went inside the car in question, they saw that the flowers were arranged in neat rows by color, like patches on a newly made quilt. Not only that, the flowers were as big and as tall as trees. So tall that if Mary extended both arms above her head, she wouldn’t be able to reach the flowers on top. A clear blue sky towered above them, with some specs of pink and orange dotting the edges and white clouds passing by.

“Woooow…” Even though Mary had been through plenty of train cars already, there wasn’t a single one that failed to impress her and leave her in awe. “Look at all the flowers! They’re so big and pretty!” Mary ran down a dirt path that separated red tulips from pink snapdragons. The air all around them was perfumed with floral aromas, dewy and mellow, fragrant and tantalizing.

Blanca’s fingers gently grazed across the bunched up petals of a cluster of pink snapdragons as she examined them curiously. “My, I’ve heard of flowers, but I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen them in person,” Blanca said.

Mary stopped in her tracks upon hearing this. Blanca never saw real flowers before? That sounded so unreal. Then again, Blanca did mention she had never left the Sweets Car before. She turned around and ran to Blanca’s side, her black braids bouncing behind her.

“I can tell you all about them if you want! I even know some of their names,” Mary announced, her voice vibrant with enthusiasm. “These ones are called snapdragons,” Mary told her before pointing to the tulips they passed by. “And those red ones are called tulips. But flowers can come in all kinds of colors, not just the ones you see right now.”

Vic sniffed the dirt beneath him. Even the ground was heavy with fragrance. Some smaller tulips skirted the edges of the dirt path on his left, though still bigger than he was. “I wonder if there’s any sunflowers here? Maybe I can nick some seeds,” He mused.

They passed through some more fields, and Mary found herself identifying every single flower she saw. It helped that the gardens only contained one flower each, so none of them had several of the same flower in one segment. 

“That white one is called a calla lily. Those pretty pink ones are roses, but I like the really red roses the best. Those thin purple ones are called lavender, and…” When the trio approached one field in particular, Mary stopped to get a closer look. Clusters of blue flowers formed perfect spheres. “Oh! I remember now! These are hydrangeas!” Mary announced as she turned to face her friends.

…Only for her smile to turn into a frown when she saw the stupefied looks on Blanca and Vic’s faces. Mary froze. Usually, that was the look someone had if they were confused or put off by something she did. Immediately ashamed, Mary turned away from them, staring down at her shoes.

“Sorry. I probably shouldn’t have talked so much,” Mary sputtered.

Noticing the change in their friend's demeanor, a brief silence fell between Vic and Blanca, though the giant marshmallow was quick to break it. “Oh, you don’t think we’re angry with you, do you?” Blanca asked. “Because I assure you that isn’t the case at all.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I’ve never seen flowers before, so I enjoy hearing you tell me their names. It gives me something new to learn,” Blanca told her reassuringly, her lilting voice as dulcet as ever.

Vic scratched his ear before he spoke. “Yeah. I mean, I admit, I never expected you to like flowers so much that you can identify each one, and I don’t mean that as an insult,” Vic immediately clarified. “We’re just kinda surprised, that’s all.”

“You don’t think it’s weird and that I should stop?” Mary asked.

“I don’t think so,” Blanca replied. “In fact, I’d love to learn the names of the rest of the flowers here, if you’re willing to teach me.”

“Plus…you were pretty happy just now,” Vic pointed out. “Like you were really in your element.”

In her element…Mary remembered her father saying something similar before. He said if someone was in their element, it meant they were in a place that they truly enjoyed or were comfortable with, doing what they do best. Mary never expected someone to say that to her. A warm feeling lurched in her chest, and she couldn’t quite describe it. But she knew one thing for sure.

“Well…” Mary scratched one of her braids as she sheepishly averted their gaze. “I like learning about the different types of flowers and all their names. I mean, I don’t wanna be a gardener or own a flower shop or anything when I grow up, but they’re really pretty and I like knowing which ones are which,” She explained, shifting her eyes every which way. “But my mom doesn’t like it when I try to talk to people about stuff I like, even if they like the same stuff I do. She always gets mad and says stuff like ‘Mary! Stop making the conversation all about you! Nobody wants to hear about any of that. Can’t you ever listen to other people and be interested in the things they like for once?’ I mean, I try to, but…I never know…what else to say…”

She swallowed hard and bit her lip to push it down, but the feeling of shame returned, rendering her silent. On the other hand, Vic crawled up Mary’s leg and dress before settling on her shoulder. “So you’re saying she never supported your interests and tried to suppress them?”

“Suppress?” That was a new word Mary didn’t recognize.

“It means to put something to an end or stop you from doing something,” Blanca explained. “You mentioned before how your mother always tried to physically stop you from flapping your hands, right? Like putting her hands on yours, or saying you shouldn’t talk about the things that make you happy. Those are examples of suppression.”

“When you put it that way…yes,” Mary confirmed.

The Barnes and Noble incident flashed back in her mind. She remembered how her mother freaked out upon seeing her flap her hands, even though Mary knew she wasn’t doing anything wrong, and tried to clamp them shut using her own, and how she basically threw herself on top of Mary when she tried to break free from the suffocating grip. How everything seemed to get louder, brighter, or heavier all around her, and how her mother screaming at her was the last straw. How Mary’s attempts to writhe free from underneath her mother didn’t work, and how no matter how much Mary pleaded with her to stop, Dana kept going. Did that count as suppression?

A smile blossomed on Blanca’s face. “You mentioned in a previous car that you didn’t think you had anything you felt you were good at,” She reminded her.

She did remember saying that previously.

“You just showed us you’re good at identifying flowers. I think that’s something to be proud of.”

“But anybody can do that!” Mary exclaimed. “And if they don’t know, they can find their names in books or the internet!”

“Yeah, but being able to remember them long after the fact is another thing entirely,” Vic said.

That…was true. Vic wasn’t wrong, Mary realized. Most kids in her class, even if they learned something new, would immediately forget about it if it wasn’t something they were interested in. Mary couldn’t remember math or fractions for the life of her, even if she studied so hard her brain would probably leak out of her ears, no matter how much her mother yelled at her about it. Most kids her age could barely read whole sentences without stumbling every five words. But being good at reading, writing, and spelling wasn’t something to be proud of at her age. At least, that was what her mother told her. Her mother told her a lot of things.

“Does suppression also mean someone telling you no if you want to say or do something?” Mary asked.

“Yes,” Was Blanca’s quick response.

Vic crossed his arms, looking up at Mary with a resolute expression. “I think I’m starting to figure out what your deal is,” Vic proclaimed. “All your life, you’ve basically been told that because you don’t fit your mother’s image of a perfect kid through no fault of your own, she’s basically convinced herself that she has to micromanage you and control your entire life, working you to the bone at the expense of supporting you and letting you do stuff that makes you happy, and any time you’ve tried to embrace your individuality, your mother shot you down every chance she got. Is that about right?”

Mary’s jaw dropped. It was. Absolute bullseye. She didn’t recognize half the words Vic said, but she could figure out what they meant in the context of how he described her situation. He was absolutely right. She lost her voice, and her vocal chords turned dry as a flannel sheet. All her life, Mary had been made to work like a mule, learning to make small talk, looking people in the eye, smile, and say she was fine even when she wasn’t. Her mother and the ABA doctors continually took toys away, changing the rules for whatever tasks they wanted her to do, telling her it was all wrong, that she didn’t try hard enough even though she tried as hard as her brain and body could handle. Even saying she wanted to do things like go to Caitlin’s house and hang out or learn about flowers was met with opposition.

“Mom? Caitlin invited me to her house to play. Can I go?”

“Absolutely not! After how you behaved at my friend Patty’s house when you were three, how can I possibly trust you to handle yourself? What do you think will happen if I get a phone call from her mother saying that you threw a tantrum or broke their property or got into a fight? Have you ever considered how your behavior reflects on me or makes me feel?”

“Mom, can I ride the ponies? I wanna ride a pony!”

“No way! And risk you falling off, cracking your head, and bleeding to death? Or even you rocking on the horse and kicking it? Not happening. Not on my watch! I have enough to deal with already!”

“Mom, look! Mrs. Fa liked the short story I wrote in writing class! Wanna read it?”

“Mary, you really shouldn’t be wasting your time writing fictitious stories. We’re going to the party tomorrow and I need you to be on your best behavior! And you better not bring that with you and show it to everyone. They have more important things to do.”

So many dots connected faster than Mary could even comprehend. But it all made so much sense. The blog. Her mother’s barely hidden hatred of her. Her mother never letting her do anything, always claiming that Mary would throw a tantrum or act out or act like a bad kid if she was even a little bit out of her sight. The hard, almost suffocating way Dana’s hands would clamp onto Mary’s skin, digging into it, whenever she touched her, like she was ready to act if Mary “acted out,” whatever her mother’s definition of acting out was. Dana never letting her even so much as talk about things Mary was interested in, even when it wasn’t necessary.

Only now, hearing Vic put her whole life into words, did she realize just how messed up her life was. Her friends’ parents weren’t nearly as neurotic and controlling. Sure, her father and sister loved her, but her mother ruled the house, and always let everyone know it.

“Pretty much. I’m just…so used to Mom yelling at me if I do anything at all. Messing up or wanting to do something like learn to ride a pony at the fair or go to a friend’s house…” A hollow laugh escaped her as she tried to blink the mistiness out of her eyes. “And like I told you before…no matter what I do, it’s never good enough. I could tell Mom that I can tell her the name of every flower here and she’d be like, ‘Normal kids don’t rattle off flower names.’ ”

“Well, your mom’s not here, so she can’t do that!” Vic reminded her.

Fair point.

Blanca frowned. “Mary, I speak from experience when I say actively trying to discourage a child’s interests and hobbies only causes more problems than it solves, especially if those hobbies aren’t inherently hurting anyone,” She told her softly. “Frankly, I see no reason why your mother has to crack down on you and be so…restrictive. If learning about flowers and writing make-believe stories makes you happy, I say keep doing it, as long as it's within reason.”

Yes, learning about flowers and writing did make Mary happy. Those things, along with others, made her feel…fulfilled. Was that part of being her authentic self, like Blanca had mentioned when they first met? She hoped it was. She didn’t want to live her whole life constantly walking on eggshells around her mother.

A flash of blue entered her peripheral vision. Just past the hydrangea field was another field of flowers Mary instantly recognized right away. “Oooh!” She ran right over to them, with Blanca and Vic following suit. Vivid blue flowers welcomed them with their round, delicate petals and perfect, white, four-pointed star patterns in the middle of them. “These are morning glories! My favorite flowers!”

Two of her small fingers grazed the thin, delicate petals, pressing them together gently. Seeing so many of these darling flowers, and admiring them without fear of her mother’s criticisms and lecturing only confirmed what she had already suspected: Maybe it was a good thing to embrace the things Mary liked and was good at. If they made her happy, then what was the problem? It had always been difficult to find joy in what one loves when even so much as expressing it was met with derision and shame, especially if one wasn’t allowed to celebrate that joy. Blanca and Vic had done nothing but support her since she first met them, through the good and the bad.

“I think what you really need, Mary, is a supportive environment,” Blanca told her. “And I can assure you that you have that here with us. We’ll never make you feel ashamed of wanting to embrace your authentic self and the things that make you happy.”

Vic reached out to fiddle with one of Mary’s braids, taking the end of it into his paws. “She’s right, y’know. Besides, you know I was in a situation similar to yours. None of the other hamsters wanted anything to do with me because I never let what those Apex kids did change my view of passengers,” Vic explained, darting up at the morning glories before him. “Thanks to you and Blanca inviting me along, I don’t have to deal with them anymore, and I’m sure being stuck with people who don’t have anything better to do than gripe at you over everything gets really tiring, real fast. My point is, if studying flowers and writing stories is stuff you want to do that makes you happy, then your mother’s opinions don’t matter. Not after all that she’s done to you. You shouldn’t have to stop yourself from doing what you love.”

Another good point. It took a moment for Mary to properly absorb Vic’s fervent words of encouragement, consider them and their sincerity. Of course, Mary knew her father and sister supported her and let her do what she wanted within reason. That was some consolation, at least. But Mary knew her mother. She was persistent, stubborn, and hardly ever wavered from her decisions and convictions. At least here on the train, she didn’t have to worry about getting a scolding over asinine minutia.

“I agree, and you’re right,” Mary replied with a nod. “I am…a lot happier now that I’m not constantly worrying about whether anything I’m doing is going to make her angry. I mean, how can she be mad at me when she’s not even here?”

In that moment, the number on her hand flashed, changing once more. Blanca leaned closer to get a look, as did Vic. Mary raised her hand, watching as her number changed so fast, it was a blur. After a brief minute, it stopped, revealing a solid 55.

Vic’s teeth poked out as he flashed a satisfied grin in Mary’s direction, pointing to the new number on her palm. “Is that a good enough answer for ya?”

Mary glanced over at Vic, then Blanca, then back at her number…and smiled. For now, this was a good enough answer.

“Why don’t we spend the night here?” Blanca suggested. “We haven’t encountered any danger, and it’s starting to get late.”

“Okay!” Both Mary and Vic proclaimed in unison.

The trio walked past a bunch of flower fields—lupines, pansies, lilies, and so on—until they found an empty but closed off clearing inside a sunflower field and decided to settle there. The sky above them had turned a flaming vermilion orange, with swashes of purple and blue streaking other parts of it. Mary felt like they were in a painting. She glanced over at Blanca and Vic, speckled in the sunlight filtering through the leaves and golden sunflower petals, and smiled as she observed the scenery around her. This would be the perfect setting for a storybook. Mary remembered the story she started in the Japanese town car, and inspiration struck like a lightning bolt. She pulled her notebook, pencil, and cell phone out, opened said notebook, and began writing. Words spilled out from the lead from her pencil, her hand moving so fast, she could barely stop herself. No, she didn’t want to stop.

The field of flowers stretched as far as the eye could see, a rainbow of color under the orange sunset. The white haired fairy smiled at the paradise laid out before her. This would be the perfect place to call home! She flew and danced in the air in circles, singing with delight as she reveled in the beautiful scenery she discovered. Finally, after a long

She stopped writing once she remembered the word Blanca used. Arduous. How did one spell that again? Mary turned her cell phone on, pulled up the internet, and typed in “words that mean hard, exhausting, or using a lot of energy.” Many words popped up, with one of them being arduous. Now that she knew how to spell it, Mary finished the sentence in question.

Finally, after a long, arduous journey, the fairy finally found the home she yearned for.

Vic glanced over at Mary, seeing her laying on the ground and writing in her notebook, and scuttled over to her. “Writing your story again?”

“Mm-hmm!” Mary nodded. “I still don’t know if I’m gonna really do anything with it, though.”

“Eh, everyone’s gotta start somewhere.”

“I get a lot of ideas from my friend Caitlin. Her brother’s an artist and he’s really good. He draws stuff like unicorns, fairies, flower fields like this one, and a whole bunch of other stuff! Oh!” Another realization popped into her head like a jack-in-a-box. “I can show you!”

Hearing bits of the conversation, Blanca walked over to them as well. “May I see as well?”

“Sure!” Mary was quick to get her phone and pull up pictures she had saved on her phone. “Here’s a good one!”

The picture in question was a beautiful colored pencil drawing depicting a fairy in a long, flowing pink dress, with delicate green wings folded over her back, reaching her arms towards the sun. Blanca’s eyes widened in awe as she gazed upon the picture. “My, that is beautiful.”

“I know, right?” Vic agreed. “That’s some serious skill right there.”

“Caitlin sent me some other ones, too!” Mary swiped her finger across the screen, displaying other drawings Caitlin had sent her. One depicted a baby deer eating grass in the middle of a sunlit meadow. Another depicted men riding horses and wielding swords, riding into battle in a blazing hellscape. A third picture depicted a gem-adorned dragon stretching its wings in a world full of rainbow-colored crystals.

“Goodness. The details are impeccable,” Blanca noted. “The shading makes them all look so real, like they just might leap off the page.”

“Yeah, really. I couldn’t do that even if I tried,” Vic said.

“These are the only ones I have on my phone, though. I do have pictures of my friends I can show you!” Mary swiped her finger across the screen again, looking for a particular picture. After a few swipes, she found one where she, Caitlin, and Leo were sitting on one side of a table, their arms in the air, with a birthday cake with unlit candles right in front of them.

“Are they your friends?” Vic asked.

“Yep!” Mary pointed to Caitlin first. “The blonde girl here is my friend Caitlin Hall,” She then pointed to Leo. “And the boy next to me is Leonidas Acevedo. We call him Leo for short. This was last year, when Caitlin invited us and a bunch of other kids to her house for a birthday party. We had a ton of fun!”

Blanca smiled upon seeing the image of the three kids happy and cheerful. “I bet you care for them a lot, don’t you?”

“Sure do, and they do the same with me!” Mary said. “Leo’s kinda shy and a bit of a scaredy-cat, and Caitlin’s way more energetic and adventurous. She loves taking us along on adventures whenever we get to hang out, like climbing trees, riding her scooter, or sneaking into abandoned houses and pretending she can find treasure. Plus, she always yells at Greg whenever he’s mean to me, and she even helps me out whenever Mom yells at me.”

Vic glanced at the picture, his ears folding back as he saw just how…genuinely happy Mary looked. Smiling big, looking like she was having the time of her life. “Having friends can really do a lot for one’s self-esteem. You’re lucky to have them, and they’re lucky to have you, too.”

“Yeah…” Mary’s gaze faltered, and her smile turned into a slight frown. She often wondered if she really deserved to have them as friends. They had always been nice to her, the occasional conflict notwithstanding, and they knew of her being autistic and had no problem with it. Now that Mary was on the train, and therefore considered missing, she wondered if they were as worried about her as her father and sister were. Were they searching for her, too? She couldn’t help but wonder. Her mother was never very fond of Caitlin, and Mary’s father had mentioned that the entire time Mary was at her house, and any other time after that, all her mother did was pace around the house worrying—not about her well-being or if she was having fun or not, but about whether she’d throw a tantrum or behave herself, holding the phone in her hand like she was convinced Caitlin’s mother would call her and tell her to pick her up.

Mary pursed her lips together tightly. For all she knew, she was sure Dana wasn’t worried about her at all, or if she was, she was probably more worried about how Mary’s disappearance was making her look bad to the neighbors. Why was she so obsessed with what other people thought of her? There had been times when Mary wanted to talk to her mother, to tell her she was fine and to not worry, but what was the point? It seemed ridiculous to have spent time wanting to talk to her at all when the reason Mary was on the train was because of her mother. Still, the self-deprecating questions flitted around in her mind like an annoying fly. Did her mother even care at all? Was she even worried about her? Was she convinced Mary had been kidnapped? Did she really want what was best for Mary, or what was best for herself?

What point was there in contemplating all of this? Then she remembered something. Her father and sister tried to reach out to her by texting her. Her mother had not. Surely, that said volumes about her, right?

Wanting to take her mind off her mother, Mary said, “I can show you pictures of my family, too. I have some on here.”

“Cool!” Vic exclaimed.

Swiping her finger across the screen again, Mary looked for some pictures she had of her family. She finally found one, where she, her parents, and Reagan were standing near a plot of vivid red poinsettias, with everyone smiling except for Dana.

“That’s my big sister Reagan,” Mary told them, pointing to the tall girl with the glasses, then moving her finger towards the man in the burgundy jacket. “That’s my dad Todd, and next to him is my mom, Dana. This was when we went to this really fancy garden one Christmas, and the flowers were all so pretty, like the ones here, though the ones in the picture are normal sized.”

“So this is what your family looks like,” Vic scooted closer to the phone to get a better look. “Your dad and sister look like they’re nice people.”

“They are.”

The hamster’s expression deflated when he saw Dana’s dour demeanor, from the bags under her eyes to the grim scowl she had. “Man, your mom looks like she really doesn’t wanna be there.”

Mary looked away, rubbing the back of her neck with her free hand.

“She does look tired. I can see bags under her eyes. I wonder if she’s getting any sleep?” Blanca asked out loud, more out of concern than anything.

The blog entry that scared her into getting on the train flashed back into Mary’s mind. “She did mention she gets a lot of nightmares and doesn’t sleep well, but Dad says sometimes grown-ups don’t get as much sleep as they should. That it’s just part of being a grown-up.”

Vic scoffed, baring his teeth. “Doesn’t excuse all the crap she put you through.”

He was right about that. Mary flashed a sad smile in his direction. “Yeah. Definitely.”

Noticing the souring mood, Blanca stepped in with a smile. “Hey, Mary? Do you have any other stories about your father, sister, and friends? We’d love to hear about them.”

Now this, Mary could get behind. “Sure!”

Lost in the desire to tell them more, Mary palavered on about her life before the train to her friends even as the sky turned black. It was like a lid that had been chained to a jar in her heart had finally been set free, with the chains finally breaking away after so long. Of course, once night fell, the trio fell asleep, as they knew they needed to get some shut eye before leaving for the next train car. Sandwiched between Blanca and Vic, Mary fell asleep with happiness in her heart. Even though she had slept well on the train multiple times before, she still hadn’t quite grown used to the fact that every day, she was actually looking forward to waking up to a new day, new days which didn’t involve dreading facing her mother.

No matter how quiet it was in the Summers house tonight, it seemed eerily loud. Todd frowned as he searched for something to watch on Netflix on his big TV in the den. Nothing seemed to draw his attention. He bounced his leg restlessly, as if doing so would pass the time. It didn’t. Unmotivated, he turned the TV off entirely. As he got up from the couch, walked through the dining room, and into the kitchen, he stole a glance at the clock. 3:30 PM.

He hadn’t gotten the chance to confront Dana about the blog. It had been two days since he and Reagan found out about it, and just thinking about it made bile rise to his throat. But Dana had come home late that night, long after he had fallen asleep, and when Todd woke up, Dana had already gone to work. She was still gone when he left for work last night, having received a text that said she had been invited to dinner with friends. By itself, there wasn’t anything inherently wrong with Dana going to dinner with friends. He figured maybe it would take her mind off things. The last thing Todd wanted to be was an overly clingy husband who didn’t want his wife to have a life outside the family. But Dana had been disappearing a lot lately, further exacerbating his amassing doubts about her. Today, Dana was only home for a few minutes and had left to go visit her brother about something. Her brother lived in the next town over, so he wasn’t far away, but the fact that Dana never seemed to stay home anymore was troubling.

Questions lingered in his mind like a leech sucking blood from his veins. Was she avoiding him? Did she know he and Reagan found out about her blog? On top of all that she had already hid from him for so many years, what else could she be hiding? The silence was getting to be too much. At this point, he wished he could hear something. Anything. Usually, Reagan would be playing her oboe around this time, but she stayed after school today to retake a science test she failed. Todd gave a languid sigh as he remembered the sorrowful look on Reagan’s face when she walked through the front door yesterday.

“Hey, sweetie! How was school?”

“Sorry, Dad. I tried, but…I failed my biology test,” She had said to him, her voice shaky and cheeks wet with tears. “Mr. Gaspar said I can retake it if I go to Late Study tomorrow.”

Todd was never one to see grades as the most important thing. Granted, he wanted his kids to take school and studying seriously, but not so much so that he’d scold them if they got a failing grade at all. Plus, he knew Mary’s disappearance had really taken its toll on Reagan, so he had simply pulled her into a hug.

“It’s okay, Reg. I know you’re doing the best you can, and of course you can go to Late Study,” He had reassured her. “If you want, I’d be happy to help you study the parts you don’t understand. You don’t have to take everything on all by yourself.”

Reagan didn’t take him up on his offer, but appreciated it nonetheless. She stayed after school like she said she would, leaving Todd alone in the house. It’d be different if Mary was here, but…she wasn’t. It was odd, having the house all to himself, knowing one of his daughters was out there somewhere, someplace he didn’t know. He found himself walking upstairs, putting one foot in front of the other, his mind in a daze. Only when he saw flashes of pink did he pull himself back to reality, and he was struck dumb when he realize where he was.

Mary’s room.

Completely empty. Empty of Mary. Bright pink walls, the white ceiling, the bookcase filled to the brim with books and DVDs—most of which he or Reagan had bought for her at various intervals—the stuffed animals laying haphazardly on the flower-carpeted floor, the pink comforter that was still folded back…it hit Todd that he hadn’t made her bed yet. On impulse, he pulled the comforter back towards the pillows, smoothing it out so it’d look nice. Then he bent down and picked up one stuffed animal before putting it back on the bed, repeating the process for every one, as if doing so would bring Mary back. He knew it wouldn’t, in theory, but the past week and a half had been so busy and daunting, he hadn’t had time to clean Mary’s room when she disappeared. Before long, all of Mary’s plush dolls were back on her bed, and Todd slowly folded the purple pajamas that hung over the foot of the bed, putting them back in her dresser drawers.

The emptiness of the bedroom weighed down on him. It seemed so devoid of life without her. Todd sat down on the bed, taking one of Mary’s stuffed animals—a tiny, pink teddy bear with black dot eyes and a heart shaped nose—and held it close to his chest, tears streaming down his face. Although knowing Mary was at least alive and safe was good, it still hurt to know that she was still out there somewhere, not in the safety of her home. Todd would never forgive himself if anything bad were to happen to her, not to mention all that Dana had done to her behind his back, which he had just found out about.

As he opened his eyes, something white appeared in his peripheral vision. His foot pulled out a piece of paper from underneath Mary’s bed. 

“Huh?” He put the teddy bear back on the bed and slid down to the floor to get a look. Upon closer inspection, it was a drawing. A cursory one, done in crayon and showing a stick figure person, but he recognized it right away. It was one of Mary’s drawings, and it depicted her riding a winged unicorn across a crude rainbow. Mary’s name was above the smiling stick figure person, indicating it was her. Todd cracked a smile at the picture. He remembered Mary drawing this when she was…three or four, probably, and how she ran up to him with the drawing in question, smiling so big, absolutely proud of it. He remembered giving her a hug and telling her how much he liked it.

“I’m surprised she still kept this,” Todd mused, glancing underneath the bed and seeing a corner of a piece of paper poking out from the folds. Were there more? Todd bent down and lifted the folds, seeing a pile of papers underneath. Not a huge pile, but a pile nonetheless.

Todd pulled the drawings out and began looking through them. At first, the drawings were happy ones: Mary and her friends at Caitlin’s house, Mary and Reagan in a field of flowers, Mary and her whole family in a car driving somewhere, Mary petting a yellow dog, probably a golden retriever, Mary surrounded by animals such as rabbits, mice, butterflies, cats, deer, and birds like she was a Disney princess, and so on. Mary never considered herself much of an artist, but Todd didn’t mind if the drawings weren’t necessarily Van Gogh-style masterpieces. They were Mary’s drawings, which she made herself, and as far as Todd was concerned, that was reason enough for him to love them.

His smile immediately faded when he saw the next picture. It showed Mary in the middle of what appeared to be a stark, empty room with gray walls, with stick figures that were bigger than she was, wearing what appeared to be white lab coats. Doctors, maybe? The doctors had angry eyes and frowns, and the stick figure version of Mary had drops of tears flowing out from her eyes, spreading down to the floor like waterfalls. There was a big speech balloon over all the doctors, which said two words: RONG, MARY!!! Mary had spelled the word wrong incorrectly, but it didn’t take much for Todd to figure out what the drawing was depicting. Dread settled in Todd’s stomach as he put the drawing down and pulled out another one. It was in the same setting, but Mary was surrounded by toys, still crying, and doctors were all around her, pointing at her with their stick arms. One sentence was repeated on the walls over and over: Do it again! You did it rong! Some of the black crayon writing that sentence bled off the page.

It was the next drawing that made Todd shiver with rage, and seeing it was all it took to make his heartbeat speed up. It showed the same setting yet again, but this time, Mary was laying in the middle of the room, crying yet again, with a speech balloon coming from her mouth saying Get off me! It hurts! A doctor looked to be sitting on her body, with another holding her arms, and another holding her legs. Speech balloons from the three doctors said the following: Hold her down! Yur a bad gurl Mary! Dont let her get up! You dont get break time ever!

Looking at the drawings told him all he needed to know. 

“Is this…ABA?” Todd’s dry voice cracked as he asked the question out loud, but seeing them in his hands seemed unreal. But they confirmed everything he had suspected. All that he had previously been so blind to. This was Mary’s experience with three straight years of ABA, from when she was two all the way to five years old. 

More drawings he looked at right afterward confirmed it. All of them showed Mary sad and under duress. All of them showed doctors barking orders at her, telling her everything she did was wrong no matter what, pinning her down, yelling at her…his hands clutched the paper tighter, crinkling the edges in his boiling rage. One drawing even showed Dana looking at the doctors pining Mary down from behind a glass window. Another showed Mary reaching for a candy bar, crying yet again, and a doctor holding it away from her saying Bad kids dont get candy! You did the test rong!! The drawing after that showed Dana, with a very large head, shark teeth, and red eyes, screaming at a crying Mary, with the words Yur a bad kid! Why cant you be normal? Evrryboddy looks at us weird and its yur falt!!!

But it was the speech balloon above the stick figure Mary that made the tears return. The words in Mary’s speech balloons were Im sorry. Evrything I do is rong.

A teardrop fell onto the paper, dampening stick figure Mary’s face. More dropped onto Dana’s cartoonishly angry face. Todd pushed the drawings away and silently cried into his hands. All of this had gone on behind his back—all because back then he worked day shifts at the casino, which would be when Dana would take Mary to ABA, and he would often come back tired, never thinking to ask questions or look deeper into what was going on. In a way, he had ignored the cruelty that Mary was forced to endure. Unintentionally, but as far as Todd was concerned, ignorance and unwilling compliance was no excuse.

“I’m so sorry, Mary…I’m so so so sorry…” He knew Mary wouldn’t be able to hear his apology, but what else could he say? There was so much he missed, so much he could have stopped but didn’t until it was too late. The only consolation he could remember was that he managed to pull her out of ABA right when he did find out about it. To think all it took was seeing the business card left behind, which had the building’s address, and wanting to bring Mary the lunch box she forgot. If he hadn’t decided to drive over to the facility to bring her that lunch box…he never would have heard her screaming for dear life, never would have seen those doctors try to hold her down like policemen trying to apprehend an out of control criminal. Imagine, a tiny toddler being sat on by three doctors in lab coats, who could have easily killed her!

His stomach gave a loud, gurgling roar, pulling him out of his guilt-ridden reverie. Only now did it occur to Todd that he hadn’t eaten much yet. At this point, he couldn’t bear to look at more of Mary’s drawings. He had seen all that he needed to see. Glancing at the clock, it showed that the time was 4:50 PM. His eyes widened. Had he really been in Mary’s room for less than two hours? His legs ached upon standing up, probably from sitting on them for so long looking through Mary’s drawings. Regardless, he ignored the pain and walked back down to the kitchen.

Pushing the horrible revelations away, he laser-focused on something he could do right now: Dinner. He wanted to order takeout, but wasn’t sure if Reagan was done at Late Study yet. With a sigh, he settled on waiting until Reagan let him know she was ready to be picked up. At least then, should she text or call, he could just call whatever restaurant was open, place an order, pick it up, and leave to get Reagan right afterward. That seemed like a good plan. Sitting here worrying was just going to drive him crazy. But he really needed something to snack on before then.

“Crackers…” Todd muttered to himself as he looked up, seeing the top cabinet right in front of him. Last he had checked, there was a box of crackers. Maybe those would suffice. He reached up to grab the box, but his hand wrapped around something hard. Porcelain. Not soft and cardboard, like the box of crackers.

When he pulled the object out, his eyes fell to it and he realized it wasn’t the box of crackers. Instead, it was one of his wife’s mugs. Specifically, the white one with the words Cure Autism Now in indigo.

“Why’d I grab this?” Todd asked no one in particular.

The porcelain mug was heavy in his hand. Dana had bought it somewhere a long time ago. Todd couldn’t recall when or where, only that she insisted on getting it. Todd turned around to put the mug back in the cabinet, but…something stopped him. 

A spark flashed in his mind, and the spark turned into fireworks that could illuminate a night sky. Memories overwhelmed him. The blog and all that Dana wrote on it. Dana’s controlling behavior towards Mary, cracking down on her even for relatively harmless things. Taking her out of ABA when he saw doctors sitting on her—knowing that they were hurting her, and ignoring her pleas and crying as she writhed under their legs. The drawings depicting ABA that Todd just looked at. The Barnes and Noble incident last Friday. The brochures about chelation therapy. Dana refusing to let Mary go to a friend’s house and needlessly worrying about her the entire time she was there, convinced that Mary would never be able to handle it no matter what. The fact that she would rather latch onto the honeyed words of some quack doctor than support and accept Mary as her own unique person, refusing to see her own daughter as anything but damaged goods—a tool for her own performance evaluation, forever chasing after validation from someone who was likely never to give it to her.

Everything that had happened over the years all came down to this. He thought he had processed the fact that Dana would never accept Mary being autistic, but this mug in his hands, proclaiming her intentions like a flashing neon sign…suddenly, the mere sight of his awful mug made him see red.

Rage shot from the tips of his toes all the way to his head, unable to be contained any longer. His ears and face flushed red as all that his family had gone through—needlessly, in fact—dawned on him. None of them had to go through any of this. Mary didn’t need to be put through those abusive therapies. Dana didn’t need to resort to hovering over Mary and treating her like a bomb about to go off over even the most asinine things. Dana never had to put Mary through all those so-called treatments and therapies that she never needed. Mary didn’t need to grow up feeling like she had to walk on eggshells around Dana, or feeling like her whole existence was some kind of festering tumor that needed to be excised. Mary didn’t need to have her self-esteem destroyed every single day she lived, and over something that she has no control over!

Todd’s reflexes took over, and he let out a visceral, almost animalistic roar as he threw the offending mug at the kitchen wall. Upon making contact, the mug exploded into pieces, clattering to the floor like hail. Todd fell to his knees and broke into labored breathing, gasping for air like he had run a marathon. He had to admit, the crashing noise it made was satisfying as all hell. The rage hadn’t quite subsided, but throwing that awful mug helped to alleviate some of it for the time being. He was sure that if Dana were here right now, he’d lose it. This couldn’t go on, and he knew it.

A pinging noise from his cellphone snapped him out of his rage. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw that he received a text from Reagan.

Hey Dad! Finished retaking my test! Oliver’s mom is driving him and I home right now. I should be home in about fifteen minutes, barring any traffic jams.

So Oliver and his mother were taking her home. A smile played at his lips. He always liked Oliver Liu and his family. They had been nothing but kind to Reagan since they first met, more so since Mary went missing, offering nothing but support and encouragement whenever possible. Todd was proud that Reagan found such a nice guy to be in a relationship with. Now that he knew she was coming home, he sent a reply back.

Thanks for letting me know, sweetie. I’m ordering takeout tonight, so we can eat right as you come back.

Pressing the send button, the message processed without difficulty, and he immediately started on ordering takeout. But his mind was still plagued with so many things. So many questions. But he did know one thing for sure. He couldn’t let Dana get away with any of this.

The next time he saw her, and he vowed to make sure he did so, he needed to confront her on everything once and for all. If it meant having to physically prevent her from leaving the house to do so, then so be it.  As much as he didn’t want to resort to having to do something that extreme, he couldn’t ignore the problem. Neither of them could. This had to be addressed, and it needed to be addressed before it was too late. 

Or was it already too late?

Chapter Text

“Uuuugh. My legs are tireeeeed,” Mary groaned as she walked, her legs getting heavier with every step.

Although the trio slept well amongst the flowers, the car turned out to be much bigger than they had anticipated, and at this point, they still hadn’t found the exit. It didn’t help that the flowers were so tall, so they blocked a good portion of their view. Mary checked her cell phone periodically, and found that they had been walking for at least three hours straight since they woke up. Vic wasn’t tired at all, as he sat atop Blanca’s head the entire time.

Vic stared into the distance as the trio exited a field of roses. His eyes caught something red in the distance, and he pointed towards it. “Oh! I think I see the exit!”

Fatigue pushed to the side, Mary immediately sprinted ahead of them, with Blanca following from behind. But they immediately stopped once they realized the exit was on the other side of what appeared to be a very large lake. More specifically, a lake consisting entirely of mud.

“Ew. I do not wanna walk in that,” Mary’s face contorted into disgust.

Blanca flashed a grin. “We don’t need to,” She told them before turning into a large bird. Vic remained on her head as she transformed, and Mary wasted no time climbing on her back. With a flap of her wings, Blanca ascended and soared across the muddy lake, landing on the dirt bank where the exit was. Once she landed, she allowed Mary and Vic to get off before she turned back to normal. But there was a new problem: The exit was covered in vines.

“Hmm. I bet I can bite these off,” Vic suggested as he scrutinized the vines.

“You know, I think I have a better idea,” Mary spoke up. “How about you just bite through the vines, and I can help pull them off, that way you and Blanca don’t have to do all the work.”

Finding the idea appealing, Vic flashed a grin as he extended his fist out. “Deal.”

Mary tapped his fist with the tip of her finger. She wanted to do a fist bump, but didn’t want to risk accidentally hurting him, so she settled on using her index finger. Once that was done, Vic climbed to the top of the exit and began chewing through the vines. After he finished, Mary pulled on the vines with all her strength, yanking them off the door, though some were more stubborn than others. Luckily, the task itself wasn’t too difficult, and withered vines fell against Mary’s feet.

“Now we can go through,” Blanca noted, turning the handle and opening the door.

Pride over a task finished swelled in both Mary and Vic’s chests as they exited the Garden Car. Even with her legs weighed down by fatigue, Mary ran across the bridge and immediately opened the door to the next car, with Vic and Blanca following suit.

The inside of the car was just…a very cluttered office. Or was it even an office? Nobody could tell what to call it. Green walls stretched high into the sky, with no sign of a ceiling save for a chandelier that seemed to be floating in the air. Mahogany shelves seemed to completely consume the premises, filled to the brim with all sorts of knick-knacks, like ceramic figurines, yarn balls, vases, wooden carvings, books, and many other things Mary didn’t recognize. Ladders both went across the room or up the walls, with some reaching across smaller shelves, and one serving as some kind of support beam high above the trio’s heads. A few tables and chairs were clustered towards one corner of the study, and Mary saw other things such as an empty tire wheel. In the middle of the room was a big red plush chair settled in front of an old TV with a VHS player under it, both of which were situated on an orange striped rug.

“Oooh. What is this place?” Mary asked aloud as she walked.

“Not sure, but man, there’s a ton of cool stuff in here!” Vic found himself in awe of all the knick-knacks on display. He stopped when he saw a gold framed painting leaning against the bottom of one shelf. It depicted a white cat napping in a field of tulips. “Wow, look at the brush strokes on this, and the use of oil is out of this world!”

The room seemed to have a little bit of everything in here. But something about it felt a little suffocating to Mary. It felt like the room was trying to close in on her. Or like any of the items here would fall on her, should she accidentally trip or bump into anything.

“I wonder if someone lives here?” Blanca asked no one in particular. “If that’s the case, then we probably shouldn’t touch anything while we’re here.”

Fair point. Mary remembered her parents telling her and Reagan that when they’re at someone else’s house, that they shouldn’t touch their property unless they were given explicit permission to do so. That was a rule Mary didn’t mind following, as she hated it if someone tried to mess with her things.

“That being said, we have been walking for quite a while, so I don’t think it’d hurt to rest for a bit while we’re here,” Blanca suggested.

“Agreed,” Mary said, wasting no time pulling herself onto the red chair and slouching into it. Her tired legs dangled off the edge of the chair like wind chimes swaying in a breeze, not reaching the floor. Mary breathed a sigh as she relaxed into the plush chair. She didn’t have any energy to find a TV remote to watch the TV, as she was content to just close her eyes and lose herself in rest, clutching onto Mimi as she reveled in the softness of her white fabric.

Blanca sat down as well, removing Vic’s yellow backpack and gently setting it onto the rug. She also changed into a more humanoid form, the same one she used in the Italy car, to give herself more space to move around, as her original body took up quite a bit of room.

“Maybe I can use this time to organize my stuff a bit,” Vic muttered to himself as he climbed onto his backpack and began digging through one of the pockets.

The trio reveled in the silence around them, happy to finally sit down and rest after walking for a long time. It helped that the lighting was dim, and Mary appreciated that this room—whatever it was—wasn’t too bright or too dark, perfectly easy on her eyes. While Blanca and Mary sat dormant, Vic pulled some things out of his backpack, such as a compass, a pocket watch, a ring beset with a large emerald, and…two vials with little spheres in them.

“Huh. I forgot I still had these,” Vic muttered to himself as he held them up with both paws. “Wait. Didn’t it come with an instruction pamphlet? And where’s that cube that came with it?” Vic gently set the vials down on the floor, right in front of his backpack, before scuttling through another pocket. It wasn’t long before he pulled out the cube in question, along with a folded up pamphlet. He set it down on the floor and opened it up, silently reading through it.

Mary could hear Vic rustling through the pages of the pamphlet, but barely paid him any mind as she fiddled with one of Mimi’s ears with one hand. White fabric tinted slightly yellow under the dim lighting. In a way, Mary still hadn’t quite gotten used to not having Dana around to needle her about everything. Don’t do this, don’t do that, don’t flap your hands, smile, look people in the eye when they talk to you, don’t make a fuss, don’t talk about cartoons or games, don’t spin around in a circle, don’t cover your ears even if it’s loud…it really did feel so freeing to not have to constantly worry that she was under a microscope, scrutinized 24/7, with an audience both expecting her to do things she either couldn’t or wasn’t comfortable with, and waiting for her to mess up so they could make her feel guilty and ashamed about it. It also felt like a different world. Then again, Mary was literally in another world, on a magic train away from Earth.

Here, she could be lost in her thoughts and dreams, without punishment.

“NO WAY!!”

Too bad Vic shouting out of nowhere ruined the peace and quiet. Mary scrambled upright, almost dropping Mimi onto the floor, her heart racing and leaping to her throat. Blanca bolted awake as well.

“Jeez, Vic! You almost gave me a heart attack!” Mary exclaimed.

“Sorry about that! But you’re not gonna believe this!” Vic lowered his voice only slightly, and his eyes were wide like saucers, overcome with shock. “Man, I can’t believe I didn’t read this thing sooner!”

“Is something the matter?” Blanca asked.

Instead of answering Blanca, Vic looked up at Mary and posed a question. “Mary! Remember back in that one car with the cherry trees, when you were telling us how you got on the train and about your mom and how you said you wished you had some way to show us your memories?”

Vic talked so fast, Mary had a bit of trouble processing what he said, but was able to get the gist of it. She looked up at the never ending ceiling so she could ruminate on it. Come to think of it, she had said something like that. “Yeah, I do. Why?”

“Guess what I just found out!” Vic held up both the cube and a vial of the white orbs. “These things can actually do just that!”

They could?! Mary found herself dumbfounded. “Wait, really?!” She yelped once she found her voice.

“I literally just found out!” Vic put the cube and vial down before scuttling back to the pamphlet.

Her curiosity instantly piqued, Mary slid off the couch and sat down on the floor next to Vic. “According to this pamphlet, you’re supposed to put the white orbs, which are called memory extraction robots, in the vial on someone’s head, and a tape comes out of their brain,” Vic explained. “You put the tape into the slot in the cube, which is apparently a projector,” He pointed to the cube in question. “And the circle part displays your memories in real-time.”

“Like a movie and a TV?”

“Not sure. I don’t know what a movie or a TV is, so I don’t have a frame of reference for that.”

“Can I borrow that for a bit?” Mary asked before taking the pamphlet into her hands for a closer look, not waiting for Vic to answer. The pamphlet came with pictures, so the information was easier to process. The last page of the pamphlet showed a person lying down, with what appeared to be a black line being drawn from their head to the cube, and a white rectangle was being projected from it, just like an old movie.

She couldn’t believe her luck. A machine that could actually project her memories like a movie for anyone to see! Mary thought such a thing couldn’t possibly exist, and yet here it was, right in front of her! Who would have thought these little trinkets Vic got at the Black Market Car would turn out to be something so amazing. Her whole body buzzed with excitement, like a volcano ready to erupt at any given moment. When she told Vic and Blanca about her experiences with her mom, she felt like just explaining it wasn’t enough. Now, here was something that could actually show them what her life before the train was like. For all she knew, she might even see memories that she couldn’t even remember.

This was too good an opportunity to pass up. On impulse, she raised her hand and proclaimed with gusto, “I wanna do it!”

“Huh?”

“You heard me! Use those orb thingies and cube projector to see my memories! I wanna show you, and they can do that!”

A tense moment followed. No words, no movement, for a brief moment until Blanca spoke up, her voice strained with worry. “I’m not so sure about this. This might be dangerous, and we don’t know what will happen or what we can do to help if something goes wrong,” Blanca told her.

“Actually, there’s some info here that does go into what to do if that happens,” Vic chimed in, pointing to a paragraph near the end of the pamphlet.

Mary stood up. “Even if it is dangerous, I still wanna show you my memories, even the ones as far back as the very beginning of my life!” She proclaimed once again. “This might even help me see my own memories in a different way! I wanna do this, even if it’s scary!”

The explanation did nothing to alleviate Blanca’s worry. “There’s also the fact that seeing your memories, probably even your most private, intimate, or vulnerable ones, is an invasion of your privacy, and I know there are some you wouldn’t just let anyone see, even if you trusted them. Not even us,” Blanca elaborated further. “It would probably be like reading your diary, and the last thing we want is to make you feel exposed or violated.”

“It’s only an invasion of privacy if I don’t give you permission to see them, and I’m telling you it’s okay!” Mary shot back. “Please, use the projector thingy on me! I know you guys will help me if something goes wrong, so I won’t be all that scared! Plus…” Her voice softened, and she found herself pressing the tips of her fingers together.

“There’s another reason, isn’t there?” Blanca inquired.

Mary slowly nodded. “Mom’s always told me that all I ever do is misbehave and cause her trouble. She says I did a lot of that when I was younger. I don’t even remember all that she says I supposedly did, and…I want to see for myself if what she’s saying is true or not. If it turns out I really did misbehave and act like a bad girl, I’ll apologize to her, but if there’s even the smallest chance that she turns out to be wrong…I just want to know for sure…that the real me isn’t…what Mom says I am.”

Another tense moment followed. Both Vic and Blanca exchanged worried glances…until Vic turned back to Mary and smiled. “Well, if you’re absolutely sure about this, then who are we to stop you?”

Picking up the implicit meaning behind Vic’s response, Mary found herself overcome with elation. Unable to keep it in, she stood up and cheered. “Woohoo! So what do we do first?”

Vic looked down at the pamphlet and began reading the instructions. “Okay, step one: Make sure the subject is asleep.”

“Asleep! Got it!” Mary exclaimed, running over to an empty spot, lying down on the floor, and closing her eyes. She kept her limbs at her sides, and her legs straight as nails. But she couldn’t bring herself to actually fall asleep, as it often took her half an hour or slightly more just to stay asleep.

“Step two: Put the orbs on the subject’s scalp.”

Blanca took one of the vials into her hands, frowning as she scooted over to Mary. “I really hope this won’t cause any harm…” She said out loud as she gently unscrewed the vial and held it close to Mary’s head. The white orbs immediately came to life, sprouting tiny legs and crawling onto Mary’s head, clustering around her scalp.

It felt like a bunch of spiders had converged on Mary’s head, legs crawling and brushing over her hair. But she didn’t dare move an inch. Her consciousness slipped away, and a black strip of tape immediately shot out of her scalp. Blanca rushed to grab the end of it, and the tape increased in length.

“So…what next?” Blanca asked, unsure.

“Step three: Place the edge of the tape into the horizontal slot, then point the projector at a screen or an empty wall so the memories displayed can be shown in their utmost clarity.”

An empty wall…the walls were mostly covered with framed pictures, paintings, or other things like shelves. Except for one. Blanca silently pointed towards it, signaling for Vic to point the projector at it. She handed Vic the edge of the tape, and he took it out of her hand before sliding it into the slot. The circle at the end of the cube shot a light at the empty wall, and as soon as Vic and Blanca laid eyes on it…

Everything went white.

When Mary opened her eyes, all she saw was white. White everywhere.

“Huh?” She stood up, seeing absolutely nothing around her. It was like she was in a pure white abyss. Admittedly, it was rather hard on her eyes, so she squinted, but it barely did much. She was able to see a small flash of orange.

“Hey! Mary!” Vic called out, scuttling towards her with Blanca following behind him.

“Vic! Blanca!” Mary was quick to join them. “So…did it work?”

“I’m not sure,” Blanca said.

As soon as Blanca finished talking, one of the walls turned into nothing but a display of gray static. The trio immediately walked over to it.

“Be careful. We don’t know what’ll happen,” Blanca advised.

Mary steeled herself, reaching a hand out to touch the static. Then, the static wall sucked the three of them inside. When the trio opened their eyes, the environment had changed. The white abyss turned into…a hospital room with gray walls and a big window with beige curtains pulled back.

“A hospital? Why are—” Mary was cut off by the sharp sound of a baby crying. The shrill noise made Mary’s eardrums throb, and her hands instinctively covered her ears to protect them. But when she looked up, she saw a woman in the bed cradling a baby in her arms. The baby in question was wrapped in a thick flannelette blanket, and gradually, its crying lowered to a soft whimper. The woman wore a blue hospital gown, and her scraggly black hair tumbled past her shoulders. A man leaned closer to look at the baby, and both he and his wife had proud smiles on their faces.

“Look at her, sweetheart. She has your nose,” The man told her in a soft voice, his index finger gently holding up the baby’s hand. A large tear rolled down his cheek.

“Have you seen her eyes, though? They’re blue, just like yours,” The woman’s voice was hoarse, but brimming with warmth. “What should we name her, Todd?”

Todd? Only upon hearing that name did it dawn on Mary who this family was. “Those are my parents,” Mary choked out. “And I think that baby is…” She found herself unable to finish the sentence, but Blanca and Vic put two and two together easily.

“I’m torn between either Mary or Andromeda,” Todd said. “I love the name Andromeda, but she looks more like a Mary to me.”

A smile flashed across Dana’s flushed, red face. “Here’s an idea. Why not have Mary be her first name, and Andromeda be her middle name? That way she can have both,” She suggested.

Todd gave a big sniff. “You know what? That’s perfect,” He looked down at his infant daughter, smiling like he had won a marathon, as did Dana. “Mary Andromeda Summers. Our little Mary…”

It was a scene Mary didn’t remember, and how could she have? She was just an infant back then. But seeing it play out before her eyes was surreal. More than that…

“Mary? You okay?” Vic asked.

All Mary could choke out was, “...I’ve never seen her smile like that before. Not at me.”

The mother that Mary knew always looked tired, worried, sad, or angry, with perpetual dark circles under her eyes. She had seen her smile at other people, but Mary couldn’t remember a time when her mother ever threw a smile her way. Not at all, and yet…there was a time when she did, and Mary had no idea until now.

In a flash, the scene changed, showing a tree-lined street with houses on both sides. The trio looked over to their left, seeing Todd and Dana walking towards them, smiling and laughing. Dana was pushing a stroller with an infant Mary sitting in it. The baby was sound asleep, peacefully unaware of all that was going on around her.

“What is this place, Mary? Do you know?” Blanca asked.

It didn’t take much for Mary to recognize the area right away. “This is my neighborhood. My hometown. I recognize some of the houses on this street,” Mary told her. Curiosity took hold as she walked just behind the younger versions of her parents, more interested in hearing their conversation. Blanca and Vic followed close behind.

“So I walk in there, and it’s 5 in the morning, and my brother’s already eaten a big piece of the leftover chocolate cake my mom made for her country club friends the night before! He even gave me a piece right afterward,” Dana cajoled through her laughter.

“Wow, Eric must have been pretty bold when you guys were kids,” Todd replied as he stifled his own giggles.

“You’d really like him, Todd,” Dana said, her voice adopting a cheerful lilt. “I really ought to bring you and the kids to visit him sometime. I bet you’d get along like peaches and cream. He’s really into building computers and software.”

“Well, why don’t we make plans to do just that in the coming weeks?” Todd suggested with a wink. “The kids are still young, and Reagan hasn’t started school yet, so I think we have time.”

The laughter died down, but the trio could feel the warm atmosphere emanating from the couple. Mary couldn’t believe what she was seeing. The differences between younger Dana and the current Dana were like night and day. Her mother in the past seemed like a completely different person compared to how she was now. Dana actually looked…happy. Genuine. Like she was truly happy to be alive. She couldn’t help but wonder just what made her mother turn out the way she did now, knowing that she used to be so lively and jovial in the past. The past that Mary was seeing play out in front of her like a movie.

Gradually, the couple’s walk slowed, and the stroller wheels squeaked against the concrete of the sidewalk. When they turned a corner, Todd looked up, eyeing a brick and mortar house with a round white door. Mary recognized the house right away.

“See that big brick house there?” Mary pointed to it, looking over at her companions. “That’s my house, though the door’s painted black now instead of white.”

“I see. It looks lovely!” Blanca exclaimed once she caught sight of it. “But who’s that standing by the door?”

Mary turned her head to see what Blanca meant. Todd and Dana caught sight of the stranger as well. Sure enough, there was an elderly woman standing in front of the Summers house with an austere look on her wrinkled face. Her short, wavy hair was graying and salty, and her eyes were obscured by thick spectacles with a gold chain dangling from them. The woman wore a blue denim dress, a white, long sleeved cardigan, and black flat toed shoes. She looked just like any other old woman Mary had seen on the streets multiple times.

“I wonder who that is?” Todd asked aloud. “I’ll go see,” He gestured for Dana to remain on the sidewalk before running up to the woman. “Hello there! Is there anything we can help you with?” Todd greeted her cordially, flashing a smile in an attempt to be welcoming.

It took all but seconds for Mary to wince under the older woman’s gaze, even though she knew she wasn’t looking at her specifically. The old woman’s eyes were narrowed, slitted into a stony, cold glare, like Todd was somehow beneath her. But her gaze drifted towards Dana not long after.

“Dana. You’ve certainly had me on a wild goose chase,” The old woman sneered. “But I finally found you.”

Both Todd and Mary, in unison, looked over at Dana. The young mother’s face had completely blanched, like she had seen a ghost conjured from her absolute worst nightmares. Her mouth fell agape, and her irises shrunk so much, they looked like little more than dots. Dana stood in place, as if completely frozen, her whole body stiffening and turning rigid, her hands clutching the handle of the stroller like it was the only thing keeping her from collapsing to the ground. Mary always had trouble recognizing most facial expressions, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what Dana’s showed.

Abject fear and horror.

Ignoring Todd, the old woman walked right over to Dana, avoiding the sleeping baby Mary in the stroller, her flats slapping against the concrete porch. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself, running off on your poor mother and leaving her all alone in Michigan without so much as a goodbye!” The old woman barked right in Dana’s face.

“Who’s this old bat?” Vic asked, making no attempt to hide his newfound contempt for the old woman.

“Mom’s mom. My grandmother,” Mary muttered in response, loud enough for Vic to hear, but still quiet.

“Whoa! Hold on!” Todd immediately snaked in between the two women, with Dana pulling Mary’s stroller and backing away, still with the utterly horrified look on her face. “Are you Dana’s mother?” Todd tried to keep calm and composed, offering his hand out. “I’m Todd Summers, her husband. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

It was Dana’s mother’s turn to sneer at him this time. “Tch. Of all the men in the world, you chose to shack up with this spindly little fop?” Dana’s mother crossed her arms, sizing Todd up with disdain written all over her face. “If you had stayed home, I would have at least set you up with Tom Chamberlain. He’s the kind of man you need in your life, and actually looks and acts like one!”

Dana said nothing in response. Her mouth still hung open, but no words came out.

“That’s Dana’s decision to make, not hers,” Blanca chimed in, frowning all the while.

Todd stood next to Dana, resting a reassuring hand on her shoulder and forcing a smile. “Would you like to come inside? I can whip you up some coffee,” Todd offered, forcing a smile. “Uh…”

“Irene Fitzpatrick is my name,” Dana’s mother—Irene—retorted, pushing her glasses up with one finger. “And normally, I’d take you up on your invitation, but I just came to see where my daughter lives is all, and I have to meet with my real estate agent to get my new house,” With her lips pursed together, she walked down the porch, but stopped to shoot another icy glare at Dana. “I’ve got my eye on you, girl.”

The trio picked up on the implications behind Irene’s parting shot. It wasn’t long before Irene walked away from the Summers household, heading towards a silver car. Mary couldn’t help but cross her arms. 

“Wow. I knew my grandma on Mom’s side was mean from what Dad told me, but I had no idea she went so far as to move all the way from Michigan to here just to keep an eye on her,” Mary noted.

“She sounds like a real piece of work,” Vic said.

To Mary, that was an understatement.

As soon as Irene drove away, Dana’s legs buckled and she fell to her knees, right in the middle of the sidewalk. “Oh, Dana!” Todd immediately knelt down to help her up, his brow creasing in concern. The door to their house opened, and a young woman with brown hair tied in a ponytail came out.

“You’re back! Thank goodness!” She exclaimed. “I saw that old lady outside and I wasn’t sure whether to answer the door or call you guys or—”

“Sorry about that, Becky. You did the right thing,” Todd told her, unknowingly cutting her off. Becky paid it little heed.

A flash of lightning illuminated Mary’s mind when she saw the younger woman. “Oh! I remember her!” She proclaimed.

“Who is that?” Blanca asked.

“I don’t remember her last name, but that’s Becky. She used to babysit me and Reagan,” Mary told her. “I liked her a lot.”

Finally, an agonized moan escaped Dana’s mouth as her body began shaking uncontrollably. Soon, the moaning turned to shaky sobs, but no tears came out from her eyes. “Dana? Are you okay?” Todd tried to help her up, but Dana couldn’t bring herself to stand. It hurt Mary’s heart to see her mother look so scared and terrified, so fragile and delicate, like a wounded animal cornered by a predator.

“...I can’t escape…” Dana croaked out, her voice hoarse, shaky, and desolate. “No matter how…far I go…she’ll always track me down…try to lock me in her cage…there’s nowhere to run…”

Mary was tempted to try and reach out. To comfort her. Just seeing her mother look so hollow and…almost broken, made her heart hurt. But she knew this was just a memory. On impulse, she reached out to touch her, but as she got close, gray static flickered between her fingers and Dana’s shoulder. Mary pulled it back, but the hollow feeling in her chest didn’t disappear.

“I wonder if her mom was mean to her when she was a kid,” Mary mused.

“Based on her reaction just now, I wouldn’t put it past her,” Blanca answered.

In an instant, the scene changed again. This time, they were inside the house. Mary recognized it as the dining room, with the big window overlooking the backyard, the orange, wooden dining room table, and the matching chairs with white cushions. Even the sunflower themed place mats were there. Mary saw her infant self in a baby seat on the table, kicking her legs up and down, babbling, and fiddling with a colorful toy. Dana was sitting in a chair, with one hand on the baby seat handle, rocking it back and forth with a frazzled look on her face.

“Eric, I’m not kidding you!” Dana yelled, and the noise made Mary—present, not past—flinch. She did notice a cell phone laying on the table, right in front of Dana. Mary figured she was talking to someone on the phone. Her answer was confirmed when Dana continued to yell, directing it towards the phone. “Todd and I came back from a walk and Mom was right there on the porch! And I know for a fact that I never told her where I lived or even my home address! You know I cut off all contact with her the day I moved out, so I can’t fathom how she managed to find out where I live!”

A brief silence followed until a staticky voice spoke on the other line. “Aww jeez. I had no idea. Sorry, Dana. I think that might have been my fault,” A male voice responded.

“How so?” Dana asked.

“Mom came over to my house last week to visit for a few hours,” Eric explained, his tone low and remorseful. “I was in the process of sending out invitations for a Memorial Day party I’m holding, and I think while I was in the bathroom, she looked through my address book and found your address there. God, I’m an idiot. You’d think after all this time I’d know better than to leave important stuff like that out in the open.”

Dana ran a hand through her black locks and gave a dramatic, tired sigh. “No, don’t blame yourself. You know how Mom is. Even if you had put it away, she probably would have searched for it and looked through it anyway,” Dana groaned as she laid her head down on the table, as if resigned to her fate. “Ugh, it seems like I can’t escape her no matter what, and that she’ll do whatever it takes to drag me back to that…prison she calls a house,” Dana lifted her head up from the table. “I don’t want to spend my whole life being dragged to country clubs and having her criticize everything I do and deciding everything for me!”

“Got that right,” Eric replied. “If she ever tries to harass you again, don’t hesitate to let me know. Your husband sounds like a cool dude, too. I’m glad he tried to help you. Maybe bring him and the kids over to my place sometime.”

A giggle escaped from Dana’s mouth, and her smile returned. Forced, but a smile all the same. “It’s funny you say that, because when I mentioned you to him, he suggested the same thing.”

Blanca gently tapped Mary on the arm with a tiny hand. “Hey, Mary? I’m curious: Did your mother ever tell you about what her life was like when she was younger?”

“Only bits and pieces, but not much,” Mary replied. “She doesn’t like to talk about it.”

There had been times when Mary and Reagan asked their mother about her life from back when she was a kid. But Dana mostly talked about her friends, her experiences with school, and the various events going on during the late seventies and early eighties, when she was around their ages. Plus, the only person in her family she talked about fondly was her brother Eric. Mary liked her uncle Eric. When she and her family went to visit him a few times, he was always nice to them, and even showed Reagan how to use a lot of computer programs and phone apps, some of which he had developed. Dana’s parents were a much…touchier subject. After seeing Irene’s behavior just now, Mary understood why that was so.

As soon as that thought ran through her mind, the scene changed once again. The memories flashed by at a faster pace, and in shorter bursts. One memory showed a five-year-old Reagan happily feeding a baby Mary, holding the bottle with one hand and holding her sister’s head up with another. Another showed Reagan and a slightly older, toddler-aged Mary playing with toys, Barbie dolls, and blocks. A third memory showed Todd with Mary on his shoulders, with the two of them laughing happily as they, with Dana and Reagan behind them, walked on a dirt path next to a large, sparkling lake.

“Wow. There’s so many of these I didn’t remember before…” Mary muttered wistfully as a cavalcade of memories flashed before her eyes, all around her.

Vic flashed a grin and put both hands on his hips. “Well, looks like the memory diving experiment proved to be a success!”

It was a success, but there was still so much Mary wanted to see for herself. As far as she was concerned, she wasn’t done yet. “But there’s still more I don’t get,” Mary reminded him.

In an instant, the scene changed again. Night fell, and the house was completely dark, but it was anything but silent. A baby’s shrill crying echoed all through the house, and Mary covered her ears. A lamp turned on, and Dana dragged herself out of bed, walking over to a crib right next to her side of the bed. Inside, baby Mary was crying, and Dana lifted her out of the crib.

“There there, Mary, don’t cry…” Dana cradled her youngest in her arms and immediately began bouncing her, hoping to get her to sleep. But her attempts proved futile, and infant Mary continued to cry. When Dana tried to put Mary back in the crib, the infant’s bawling grew louder.

“Uugh. I have to get up early tomorrow…” Todd groaned.

“Sorry, sorry!” Dana sputtered, running out of the bedroom and closing the door behind her, with Mary still in her arms. “Alright, Mary. Let’s sleep in the room farthest from Daddy. Okay?” She crooned to the still crying baby.

Present Mary cringed. “I didn’t believe Dad when he told me I used to cry a lot more than most babies did, but after seeing this, I see what he means now…and I hate it,” She said with a bitter undercurrent in her voice.

“That’s just how babies are,” Blanca reminded her. “Babies cry every three hours, some more so, and there’s always a reason behind it, be it hunger or other factors.”

Considering Blanca raised twenty children over the course of five hundred years, Mary was sure the giant marshmallow knew this from experience.

Yet again, the scene changed in a flash. Baby Mary sat in front of a TV playing a colorful children’s cartoon and Dana slept on the couch, with one of her arms dangling off the cushion. Baby toys were scattered all over the place. It was a good thing that Mary phased through them when she walked, because if they were solid, she might have tripped or stepped on them.

Vic crawled up Mary’s shoulder. “I have to admit, I’m kinda surprised the orbs are showing us your memories in order,” Vic pointed out. “The pamphlet said the memories you see can be random and not always in continuity.”

“I wonder if the orbs somehow know I want you guys to see them from the beginning?” Mary wondered out loud.

Nobody knew if the white orbs in the vials were truly sentient, but Mary appreciated that they were showing her all of her memories in order. Already, she had learned so much about not just herself, but her mother and grandmother. But she didn’t have time to ponder on it more, as the door opened and Irene marched right into the room. Dana startled awake, almost kicking the blanket off herself, her black hair tangled and scraggly, falling all around her face.

“Mo-Mo-Mother!!” Dana yelped as she practically flew off the couch. “What are you doing here this early?! And how the hell did you get in here?!”

Mary glanced over at the clock hanging on the wall. It was 7:34 AM.

“Hmph! That’s no way to greet your mother after she went out of her way to check on you!” Irene shot back. “And it’s a good thing I did, too! Look at yourself! You’re lying around the house doing nothing while your husband’s out working hard! Disgraceful!”

“It’s just…Mary kept crying all throughout the night, and I haven’t—” Flustered, Dana attempted to explain herself, but her mother paid her little heed. Irene saw the infant watching TV, and was scandalized.

“My word! Why are you letting the television babysit her?!” Irene shrieked, like she saw Dana doing something immoral. “This is outrageous!”

“Mother, please! Mary’s fine, and you still haven’t told me how you managed to get into my house!” Dana snapped.

Irene adjusted her glasses. “I copied Eric’s spare key.”

Probably without asking him first, Mary assumed. It was crazy how controlling and naggy she was acting. Now she knew where Dana got her current personality from. Just listening to this woman’s shrill voice made Mary’s chest feel heavy with tension.

“Someone has to make sure you don’t go around embarrassing yourself! You realize your actions reflect badly on me, right?” She exclaimed, wasting no time pointing at Dana’s hair. “For example, you shouldn’t be running around looking all unkempt all the time! Put some makeup on and try to look beautiful! Women are supposed to look presentable at all times! You’re obligated to at least do that much for your husband’s sake! Have I taught you nothing in all the years I raised you?!” Irene palavered on and on, every word more poisonous than the last one.

Dana recoiled, cringing in shame as she stared down at her own bare feet. “Like I just told you, Mary kept me up all night…” She muttered.

“That’s no excuse, young lady!”

Even Mary couldn’t help but feel bad for her mother. “Why is Grandma being so mean to Mom?”

“She sounds like one of those super stuck-up conservative types who wants her kids to be perfect so she can look good for her high class friends or something,” Vic chimed in. “I met some passengers who had to deal with that.”

Mary looked up to see if Blanca had anything to say about it, but saw that the marshmallow had completely turned around, avoiding Irene’s lecturing entirely. In fact, Blanca’s whole body was trembling, and her eyes were squeezed shut, like she didn’t want to open them no matter what. Her face contorted like she was in visible pain, but Mary didn’t see any injuries on the marshmallow’s body.

“You okay?” Mary asked with concern.

“I’m fine, Mary. You needn’t worry,” Blanca reassured her, but her voice was shaky. Somehow, Mary could tell Blanca wasn’t fine.

Once again, the scene changed into something different. It was a little room with white walls plastered with bright, colorful animals and things like rainbows and flowers. Todd and Dana both sat on plush chairs on one side of a low, mahogany table. A man in a white lab coat sat on the other side of it, looking over a clipboard. A toddler-aged Mary sat in a corner of the room, turning the wheels on an upside down toy truck over and over.

“Based on the reports from the other specialists you saw, I think the conclusion is pretty clear here,” The man in the white coat said. “After monitoring her behavior over the time you’ve seen me, as well as ruling out all other possibilities, Mary is indeed autistic, which means she has Autism.”

Was this…the day she was diagnosed as autistic? Mary’s mouth fell agape. She laser focused her gaze on the scene playing out before her, the yearning to learn more completely consuming her.

“With this being the case, may we ask what this entails? What will all of this mean for Mary?” Todd asked.

“I’m afraid we’re not familiar with this…Autism,” Dana stammered.

The doctor nodded with a reassuring smile. “Nothing’s immediately changed from the diagnosis, I can tell you that much,” He explained. “All this means is that there’s a name for Mary’s behavior, and the signs are pretty common among autistic folk—avoiding eye contact, aversion to certain textures or sounds, her intense interest in certain things, a strong preference for routine, delays in meeting her developmental milestones, and difficulty mixing with other kids.”

All of that was dead-on. Present Mary knew the doctor was absolutely right. She hated looking people in the eye, as doing so always made her feel like they were judging her, even when she knew they weren’t. Plus, it made her head feel strained. She hated clothes that were tight or itchy, like lace edges and tank tops, and loud noises such as yelling, crying babies, motorcycles, and crowds. Of course, Mary knew the one about mixing with other kids was only half-true, as she had plenty of friends she made in school, and tried not to bother with the kids who didn’t like her, namely Greg.

But Mary also saw the flash of pain contorting her mother’s face, like she saw a ghost. Wide eyes, her mouth hanging ever-so-slightly open, and her skin going white. Almost just as fearful as when Dana saw her mother on the front porch before this.

“Thank you for informing us. What exactly can we do for Mary now?” Todd inquired.

The doctor wrote some things down on the clipboard before speaking again. “If you’d like, you can keep bringing her to us so we can continue the work we’re already doing,” The doctor replied. “The best thing we, and by extension you two, can do to help Mary along in any way we can, is find a balance between helping to encourage her to engage with others, while also listening to her struggles and never making her make too big of a leap too quickly.”

Dana opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Mary had a feeling she knew what Dana wanted to ask.

Not long after, the doctor pulled out a packet of papers and pamphlets, handing them to Todd. “I’ve written up a more detailed summary of her diagnosis here and what steps to take from here on out. I also want to remind you that there’s nothing wrong with Mary, in that I mean there’s nothing to cure, though others in our society may try to convince you differently. All this really means is that Mary has traits that differ from the societal norm and may continue to struggle in certain—”

Before he could finish, Dana suddenly sprang up from her chair and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. The sound reverberated throughout the entire room, making it feel like a small earthquake had hit, and both it and the noise made Mary’s hands fly to her ears—both current and toddler Mary. Todd stammered a few words of gratitude to the doctor before taking toddler Mary into his arms and walking out of the room.

Mary walked through the wall, phasing through it, as did Vic and Blanca, and stopped when she saw her parents in the hall. Dana stared down the hallway with an austere expression, with her back towards Todd, and Mary could see her balling her hands into tight fists. Todd furrowed his brows with concern as he tried to speak with her.

“Dana? What’s wrong? I know this is a lot to take in, but—”

“He’s wrong.”

“Huh?”

Dana gritted her teeth. “Mary is not autistic. She can’t be. She can’t afford to be!” She snapped defensively.

Can’t afford to be. Dread shot through Mary’s entire being upon hearing those words. She knew exactly what her mother meant when she said that. Her whole body buzzed.

“Like she has any right to decide that!” Vic exclaimed.

Todd put a hand on Dana’s shoulder. “Dana. We can’t ignore this. Mary needs us, and she’ll need a little more guidance than most kids, but that doesn’t mean she won’t live a good life,” Todd reminded her.

“But one of the doctors said there’s a chance she’ll never speak!” Dana shot back. “She’s already two and she hasn’t called me Mommy even once!”

“So? That doesn't mean she won't ever speak, and if that comes to pass, we can teach her other ways to communicate, like writing or sign language or that picture book Dr. Glasgow was showing us earlier. It’s not the end of the world.”

There was a brief pause, before Dana gritted her teeth and nudged Todd’s hand away by removing her shoulder. “We’re not seeing Dr. Glasgow again.”

“What? Why? He knows what he’s talking about.”

“I’d like to hear other doctors’ opinions on it first and see what their consensus is,” Dana spat.

Mary balled a hand into a fist. “More like you want to see which one will cure me,” She muttered bitterly.

The scenery changed once more, transporting the trio to the inside of what appeared to be a church. A red carpet sprawled out across the floor, with wooden pews lining parallel to it on both sides. Exquisite stained glass windows illuminated the inside of the church in a rainbow of colors. People filled the seats of every single pew, and a grand pipe organ was situated in the middle of the church, underneath a cross hanging from the ceiling.

Stars flickered in Vic’s eyes as he gazed upon the grand sanctuary in pure awe. “Whooooa. Is this one of those churches I’ve heard so much about?” He stood on the tips of his toes to look further up, though he wasn’t able to reach very high. “Man, they really are as grand as the books depict them to be! On the inside, that is.”

Even Blanca couldn’t help but smile. “I love those colorful windows and their designs.”

“Yeah, they are pretty,” Mary agreed as she looked around the pews. She managed to find her family sitting in a pew in the middle of the left side of the church. Irene, Todd, Dana, Reagan, and Mary all sat in the same pew, in that order, along with an old lady wearing a pink dress and a long pearl necklace. The lady flashed a smile at the seven-year-old Reagan, who smiled back, but little Mary, who sat between them, looked down at a pretty toy rope in her hands with a distressed expression, eyes averted. Present Mary could also see that same distressed expression on Dana’s face.

“I look like I don’t wanna be here,” Present Mary mused, sympathizing with her younger self. The air in the church was stuffy and humid, and the priest at the podium, draped in thick black robes, droned on about things she wasn’t able to make out, even with the microphone amplifying his voice. Irene shot a sneering glare at Dana, who shrank into her seat.

“Might this be for a funeral?” Blanca asked.

“Probably. Dad said we had to go to my mom’s uncle’s funeral once, but I was too young to remember,” Present Mary answered, pulling at her shirt collar to cool herself down. “I think this might be it. But man, it’s hot in here.”

Two-year-old Mary must have thought the same thing, as she kept pulling at her white tights. Present Mary wondered if they were itchy and suffocating. She had never been a fan of tights or stockings, so she figured that might have been the case. Finally, the priest stopped talking, and a man sat down at the organ, his fingers dancing across the keys. A loud, booming melody reverberated all throughout the church, akin to an explosion on a grand scale that cut right into present Mary’s ears. Her hands flew to cover them, but she could still feel the vibration of the music in her bones.

“Ow, ow, ow…!” Mary cringed, the booming music turning her legs to pudding and making her fall to her knees.

She was able to make out a moaning sound, and it came from the pew her family was in. Right as present Mary turned her head to look, two-year-old Mary unleashed a piercing wail that made everyone within her vicinity turn towards the Summers family with varied expressions of shock, bewilderment, and anger. Two-year-old Mary cried and screeched like she was being kidnapped, hitting herself on the head with both fists, complete with tears streaming down her face. Dana and Irene’s faces all blanched.

“Mary! Stop!” Dana reached over to grab her youngest, her arm extending over Reagan’s lap, but the crying toddler climbed on top of the elderly woman next to her, trying to make a beeline for it. Unfortunately, Mary pulled too hard on the woman’s pearl necklace in her attempt to run away, and it snapped in her hand, sending the pearls scattering down to the floor.

“My necklace!!” The woman screamed.

“Mary!!” Dana finally grabbed a hold of the screaming toddler.

The woman snarled at Dana as she bent down to grab what remained of her pearl necklace, her eyes flashing fire. “Dammit, lady! I spent a lot of money on this necklace! You need to control your children!!”

“Take her outside already! God!!” A man in the pew in front of Dana shouted.

Tears trickled down Dana’s cheeks as she shot up from the pew with the still screaming Mary in her hands and sprinted out of the church like she couldn’t get out of there fast enough. By this time, the organ music had stopped.

“Dana!” Todd shot up from his seat as well, but stopped to look over at a man behind him. “Eric, can you watch Reagan for a bit while I go after Dana?”

Eric nodded, and with that, Todd ran out from the church. A chorus of whispers rippled across the stunned crowd, and Mary knew exactly what they were talking about.

“Is this…what happened?” Mary asked no one in particular. The memory flashed through her mind just as it played out in front of her. Words came echoing back in her mind. Poisonous words that made Mary feel like she was being stabbed with a knife.

“One time I had to take you to a funeral,” Dana had told Mary once when the latter was seven years old. “When the music started playing, you started screaming bloody murder and destroyed a guest’s pearl necklace. My mother has never forgiven me for your misbehaving, and she still brings it up every time I talk to her. After all the shame you put me through, how can I possibly trust you to handle yourself at the amusement park?”

Whenever Dana mentioned that incident to her, all she ever talked about was how Mary supposedly misbehaved. That Mary did something she shouldn’t have and was a bad girl that day. She made it sound like Mary had just decided to throw a tantrum out of nowhere just for kicks and giggles. Only now did Mary remember the awful organ and the booming noise that made her feel like her ears were going to explode. How badly she wanted to just get out and escape the noise. Mary knew she hadn’t meant to destroy the woman’s necklace, and only cried because she couldn’t handle that loud music for two seconds.

Scared of what was to come, but still curious to know more, Mary zipped out of the church, phasing through the front door with Vic and Blanca following behind her. She heard her toddler self’s screaming a little further down. Little Mary kept crying and hitting herself with her fists, and Dana slumped next to her, her hair disheveled and eyes wide and glassy.

“Why…? Why couldn’t you keep quiet…?” Dana croaked through her tears, her voice small and weak. “They’ll never let me live this down…!”

Vic immediately bristled. “Seriously?! That’s what she’s most concerned about?!” He exclaimed. “Yeah, I think I’m starting to see why you can’t stand your mother.”

Before Mary could speak, Todd came running up to his wife and crying toddler. He kneeled down to Dana’s level and gave her a sympathetic look. “You alright, Dana? What happened?”

“I…I don’t know! Mary just started screaming bloody murder!” Dana shot back, her voice wracked with sobs.

Todd put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay. The priest said we can take kids to a special room in case they can’t handle being in the service. I can take Mary there and stay with her. I think the organ music is what set her off,” Todd explained softly.

The offer wasn’t enough to alleviate Dana’s woe. “Todd, you don’t understand!” She shot back, her voice bordering on hysterical. “She has to be able to behave herself! You saw what she did to Layla’s necklace! I can’t—!” Dana found herself cut off when she saw a familiar figure coming within their vicinity.

It was Irene. Her eyebrows were furrowed together, and her eyes had an austere, stony gleam that told Dana she was in absolutely no mood for funny business. Todd immediately stood up, placing himself in between his wife and her mother like a knight protecting his liege. Toddler Mary’s crying had softened to a whimper, but she was still upset. Irene paid the toddler no heed.

“Dana! Why in the world is Mary like this?!” Irene bellowed. “All the other children are behaving themselves! Do you have any idea how badly you’ve embarrassed me?!”

Mary’s face contorted into an angry frown. “Is she serious?!” As much as she didn’t want to feel bad for her mother, everything Irene was saying was flat-out not true

Todd seemed to think the same thing and was quick to defend her. “Ma’am! I would very much appreciate it if you didn’t talk to my wife like that,” Todd shot a glare in her direction, as if daring her to degrade Dana again lest she incur his wrath. “Look, I’m sure we can talk this out. I’m sorry about what Mary did to Layla’s necklace. I’ll ask if I can—”

“Stay out of this, you spineless fop!” Irene shouted right in Todd’s face. “You should be doing your job and disciplining your brat of a child, not taking her side! Since you refuse to keep my daughter and your granddaughter in line, I will!” She shoved Todd to the side and walked right up to Dana, fists shaking. “Explain yourself, Dana! You’ve got a lot of nerve, shaming me in front of everyone the way you did!!”

This whole thing seemed so…overkill. So many questions raced through Mary’s mind. Why was Irene making this into a big deal? Sure, Mary knew Irene had some right to be frustrated, as her toddler self did disturb the ceremony. She had no way of communicating that she couldn’t stand the organ music, and that she hadn’t meant to ruin Layla’s necklace. But to blame Dana for it and act like she had committed some kind of crime? In everyone’s minds, this was straight up unnecessary and uncalled for.

“Mary…” For the first time since Irene arrived, Dana finally spoke. “Mary…might have Autism…” Her voice was low and shaky, but Irene heard every word.

“Autism? Huh?” That was all Irene could think to say.

“They can’t talk to people or interact with them…they develop slower than normal kids…it’s a disorder with no treatment or cure!” Dana sobbed.

“Dana, that’s not entirely true—” Todd tried to chime in and explain things, but Irene harshly cut him off.

“Is that your excuse?” Irene’s voice was hard and bitter. “You honestly expect me to believe something so absurd?!”

Everyone’s eyes shrunk, including present Mary, Blanca, and Vic.

“If you really think you can worm your way out of acknowledging your utter failure as a parent, you are sorely mistaken!” Irene shouted. “Autism? That sounds like a load of poppycock someone made up just to make themselves feel better! I didn’t raise you to make excuses for yourself, that’s for certain!”

Present Mary couldn’t contain her rage. “She thinks Autism is fake?! It’s not, though!” She shouted. As much as she knew this was a memory and that nobody could hear her, she just couldn’t fathom why someone would dismiss autism as just a fancy name for bratty behavior.

“Ma’am! That’s not true! Autism is a real, legitimate—” Todd tried to intervene, but once again, Irene completely ignored him, continuing her tirade.

“You let the television babysit her, make no effort to discipline her, repeatedly cut corners, and completely ignored all that I’ve taught you! It’s no wonder Mary turned out the way she did!” She pointed an index finger towards Dana, her eyes flaming with indignation. “They say children grow up as they were raised! This is all your fault!”

If words could be arrows that shot through someone’s heart, Dana could feel them piercing right through her own. Every time her mother talked, the arrow seemed to twist around, making more blood spill forth. Dana was already struggling to hold back her tears. Mary could see the way her face contorted in despair.

Even Blanca couldn’t keep silent. “No it isn’t!” She cried out.

Todd felt the same way, as wasted no time throwing himself between Irene and Dana, clenching his teeth as he leaned right into his mother-in-law’s face. “You will NOT talk to my wife and daughter like that! What the hell is wrong with you?! Why are you even making this into a bigger deal than it is?!” Todd roared. “Kids cry at church services all the time! The pastor doesn’t give a damn! He even said so himself! I’ll gladly apologize to Layla and see if there’s anything I can do about the necklace! But you degrading my wife and daughter? Hell no! Nobody’s causing anyone any shame here, and Dana’s doing all she can to raise Mary and Reagan! And for the record, Autism is a legitimate developmental condition! Mary only started crying because the organ music was probably too loud! Didn’t you ever think about that?!”

Irene said nothing, but as far as everyone was concerned, her silence spoke volumes.

“It’s no wonder Dana wants nothing to do with you! If this is how you react to every slight, no matter how asinine, I wouldn’t want to deal with you for two seconds, let alone my entire life!” Todd continued his tirade, his voice rising several octaves, and he dredged his index finger right in her sternum. “In your time period, it probably was considered acceptable to just put disabled kids in institutions and not give a damn about understanding them! Well, guess what? This isn’t the fifties! Things change, and how we raise our children is none of your damn business!! It’s the 21st century, for God’s sake! The days of socially acceptable ableism and abuse are over! Get that through your thick skull already!!”

Present Mary covered her ears, but she couldn’t help but smile upon seeing her father rip that old lady a new one.

“Wow, Mary. Your dad’s a badass,” Vic mused.

A long, uncomfortable silence followed. Irene made a clicking sound with her tongue before pushing Todd’s hand away, frowning at him in a way that made no effort to hide the vindictive gleam in her eyes.

“You’d best leave right away,” With only that venomous rhetoric, Irene turned on her heel and walked away.

Once she was out of right, Dana broke into wretched sobbing as she covered her face with both hands. Todd was quick to kneel back down and console her, rubbing her back with one hand.

“Hey, Dana. She’s wrong. She had no right to go off on you like that.”

Dana continued to cry into her hands.

“I’ll go back inside and talk to Layla. Just give me a shout if you need anything,” Todd told her before standing up and walking back into the church. With that, Dana was all alone with her young toddler. Present Mary watched as her mother’s head turned to face her younger self.

“Mary…Mommy was blamed for what you did…”

In that moment, her moist, red eyes stared down at the whimpering toddler with a look that present day Mary knew all too well. Deep frown, angry eyes, flared nostrils…this must have been the moment the mother Mary knew her whole life came to be. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to understand what her expression was saying.

This is all your fault.

Mary couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Dana didn’t seriously take her mother’s words to heart, did she? That was all it took for her to believe Mary was somehow responsible for ruining her life?

Static flickered all around them, and the scene changed once again. Mary didn’t bother to keep track, not that she wanted to. The trio was now in a tiny, box-like room with gray walls, a dirty beige carpet, a desk, a few chairs, and a few decorative motivational posters on the wall. One of the posters had a picture of a donkey on it. Toddler Mary stood in the middle of the room, with a confused, deer-in-the-headlights look, surrounded by…static figures shaped like people. All of them were wearing white doctor coats.

“Why are these people static?” Blanca asked.

Mary’s throat closed up, save for a little “Oh no…” She knew exactly where she was.

“Mary,” A male doctor handed her a fake donkey tail before pointing to the poster. “Pin the tail on the donkey.”

Little Mary squealed with delight, running towards the poster and flapping her free hand as she did so. She pinned the donkey’s tail right on its butt and pointed to the poster wearing a beaming grin. The doctors exchanged flickering glances before the same male doctor pulled the tail off and put it back in her hand.

“Wrong. Do it again, Mary.”

“What?” Present Mary uttered.

Little Mary put the tail on the donkey’s rear end once again. Just like before, the doctor pulled the tail off the donkey and plopped it back into toddler Mary’s hand. “Wrong again. Do it again, Mary.”

The scenario repeated itself over and over, and each time, toddler Mary’s face contorted with frustration and oncoming anxiety. For an eighth time, Mary pinned the tail on the donkey, in the same spot as before. Yet again, the doctor pulled off the tail and put it back in little Mary’s hand.

“You’ve got to do this right,” The doctor told her.

Vic could no longer contain his rage. “She IS doing it right!” He yelled, pointing at the donkey poster. “I mean, hello?! Look! Two-year-old you is clearly putting it in the right spot! What does he think you’re doing wrong?!”

All throughout the scenario, Mary watched as her toddler self grew more and more desolate. When little Mary put the tail on the donkey for a ninth time, one of the doctors took a ruler…and smacked her free hand with it.

“Quiet hands!” The second doctor yelled.

Of course, all that did was make the helpless toddler cry. The donkey tail dropped to the floor as little Mary fell to her knees and bawled, shaking her tiny fists.

“You’re supposed to use quiet hands!” The second doctor snarled again, with little mercy.

“She’s obviously not applying herself,” A female doctor noted.

“Yes she friggin’ is!!” Vic yelled, even though he knew they wouldn’t hear or listen. “Why do they keep making you do this over and over?!”

“...It’s not about the donkey,” Mary muttered.

Blanca’s and Vic’s eyes flicker down to her. “They want me to stop flapping my hands,” She told them in a low voice. “That’s what it’s all about. See?”

One of the doctors clamped their hands on toddler Mary’s tiny one, holding onto it so tight that the child couldn’t pull her hand out no matter what. Toddler Mary screeched and kicked in a futile attempt to break free, but the giant hand was like an iron grip.

“And they can’t even be bothered to just tell you that?” Blanca inquired, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

“No,” Mary replied bitterly. “They want me to just magically know that. Like a normal person.”

Static flickered again, but the environment stayed the same all throughout, showing different scenes every time. Doctors sitting on toddler Mary, pinning her to the ground like an out of control criminal. Mary pulling on a doctor’s coat and pointing at snacks, with the doctor ignoring her request. The doctors turning on a radio and blasting heavy metal music so loud it made the entire room shake, with toddler Mary covering her ears and crying bloody murder all the while. Even the trio couldn’t help but cover their ears when the obnoxiously loud music seemed to make their eardrums explode, feeling them vibrate even as the scene changed yet again. This time, it showed a doctor made of static clutching toddler Mary’s chin with one hand, forcing her to look right at her face.

“Look at me, Mary. I want to see your eyes. Look at me, Mary,” The lady doctor’s voice was almost robotic, soothing in an eerie, inhuman way. The distressed toddler tried to pull her face away, even using her short arms to push the doctor’s arm off, but nothing worked. The doctor looked to the side and said, “Sorry, Dana. She doesn’t want to make eye contact, but we’ll keep working on it.”

Dana? The trio looked around to see if she was there, but there was no sign of her. All they saw was a big, window-like mirror reflecting what was already going on.

Static flickered again, showing different but no less distressing memories of toddler Mary in the same sterile, box-like room, subjected to all sorts of strange, nonsensical trials. Present Mary trembled. Everything was closing in on her. The walls seemed to cave in as every scene showed something different, all in that same box-like room. The doctors’ robotic voices drowned out all other noises.

“Hold your feet still. No kicking, Mary.”

“Say hello, how are you? I’m fine. How are you?”

“Look me in the eye, Mary. You’re being very rude and I need you to cooperate.”

“Even if you’re not fine, you need to say you are. Nobody needs to know you’re not fine.”

“You can’t have this toy until you look at me.”

“Good job on making eye contact, but since you refused to cooperate initially, you don’t get the toy after all.”

“Why is this playing the same memory over and over again?” Blanca asked.

Mary shook her head slowly. “It’s not. See how my clothes and hair are changing?” She pointed out. With every scene that changed, Mary’s clothes were different, and her hair gradually grew longer.

“What even is all this? Is this supposed to be some kind of…therapy?” Vic asked, trying to hold back a shake in his voice from both heartbreak and rage.

“ABA,” Mary muttered. “I forget what the letters stand for, but…it’s some program that’s supposed to help autistic kids,” Mary put harsh emphasis on the words supposed and help like they were poison. “Mom took me there all the time. Every single day,” Her pulse accelerated with every word she choked out.

“For how long?” Blanca asked.

“I think…three years.”

Vic almost fell off Mary’s shoulder, but clung to the fabric of her sleeve. “THREE YEARS?! STRAIGHT?! That’s flat-out draconian!!” He screamed so loud, Mary covered her ear. Vic lowered his voice soon after. “Whoops. Sorry,” He whispered once he climbed back up.

“What does draconian mean?”

“Unusually severe or cruel. Way more than is warranted,” Vic answered succinctly.

Draconian…an apt word to describe ABA as a whole. Mary couldn’t believe how accurately it described the three years she was subjected to ABA. Especially as she watched a memory of  her four-year-old self sitting at a table, eating a sandwich, crying silently, looking so emotionally overwhelmed that she wanted to disappear. Mary knew that feeling all too well. Two doctors made of static conversed amongst themselves just a couple feet away.

“She refuses to perform the desired behaviors on command and keeps going back to her maladaptive habits every time we so much as look away. She’s manipulating us, and you.”

“But look how distraught she is. How can you possibly claim a four-year-old with absolutely no concept of manipulation is manipulating you?”

“You have a job to do, Jasmine. If you keep spoiling and pampering her, you’re rewarding her attention seeking behavior, and you know that reflects badly on us.”

Blanca cringed at their conversation. “I cannot fathom how what you’re doing could possibly warrant such disproportionate methods of punishment. It’s so pointless.”

More memories involving ABA followed. One of them showed Dana dragging a crying five-year-old Mary down the hall.

“Dun wanna! Dun wannaaaaaa!!” Five-year-old Mary bawled, kicking and flailing her thin arms with all her strength. “Hate ABA!!”

Present Mary saw that her younger self’s face was red and flushed, with snot trailing down her nose. Five-year-old Mary looked…sick. Like she had a bad cold. Her crying was hoarse and dry. Present Mary wanted to cry at the sorry state of her younger self.

“Well, guess what? You don’t get a vote here!” Dana snapped, holding on tight, determined not to let her go. “You’re going to cooperate and do what the doctors tell you if I have to tie you down with a rope to make you!! Why do you always have to make a fuss about everything?!”

Vic balled his fists. “God, I want to kill her sooooo bad.”

“I remember this,” Mary muttered sadly, watching as flickers of that particular session played out. Five-year-old Mary was being tasked to put a puzzle together, with three doctors supervising. Tears trickled down younger Mary’s face as she tried to sort through the pieces to no avail. Present Mary’s own eyes welled with fresh tears even as she tried to swallow them down. Her younger self looked so…dead inside.

“I knew I had a cold, but Mom thought I was faking it,” Present Mary’s heart sank as the words spilled out of her. “It occurred to me then that I had been going to these sessions every single day. Non-stop. For three years straight with practically no breaks. I thought…was I going to have to do this forever and ever? Is this going to be my life? Will I have to deal with this even as a grown-up?”

Five-year-old Mary held up a puzzle piece with one hand, scrutinizing it. Her eyebrows furrowed.

“I remember how angry I was. How overwhelmed I was. How hopeless, alone, and scared I felt. I was sad, sad, sad. I wanted to just scream and explode, but everyone said that was unacceptable. That I needed to learn and be quiet and be more like other kids. They kept changing the rules, and I was always so confused. I never knew what was right. Everybody told me everything I did was wrong. That I was wrong. I felt like garbage.”

Five-year-old Mary’s face scrunched up.

“But more than that…”

The toddler’s hands began to tremble. Muscle spasms took over.

“I was fed up.”

An agonized scream. The table flipped over. Puzzle pieces were sent flying in every direction. All three doctors backed away, with one of them falling on his rear end.

Pandemonium broke out.

Younger Mary bolted towards the door, throwing it open and racing out of the room. Dana lurched forward, grabbing her by the braid and pulling her back. Five-year-old Mary let out another drawn out scream, continuing to do so even as Dana foisted her up and dragged her back into the ABA room. When she did so, Mary managed to push her mother’s arm off and wriggle out of her grasp, making another attempt to sprint out of the room. This time, two doctors caught up to her, grabbing her by the back of her shirt and dragging her back.

“She’s out of control!”

“Damned brat!! Call security!!”

One of the doctors slammed five-year-old Mary face down on the floor, using his knee to pin her down, and one hand to wrap one of her arms behind her back. Blanca visibly winced. Current Mary wanted to look away, appalled at what was playing out before her, but she steeled herself and continued to watch as her younger self bawled and screamed like her life was on the line. Five-year-old Mary continued to scream and cry, kicking her legs up and down and groping for something, anything, to grab onto with her free hand. Another doctor knelt to the floor and clamped down on five-year-old Mary’s hand with both of her own, leaving the small child completely at their mercy.

Ice ran through present Mary’s entire body. Her face blanched when she saw what her younger self was going through. She remembered feeling someone dragging her back into the room and feeling a weight was pressing down on her. Suffocating her. It was like cinder blocks had been piled on her back, and she feared she was close to dying. She barely knew or saw what was going on around her back then, as her eyes were clouded and blurry with the tears she had suppressed for so long. But seeing it outside her body…it was surreal. Horrifying.

“...That’s what happened to me?” Mary’s voice broke as her heart plummeted to her stomach. Her hands came to life, breaking into rapid flapping in an attempt to keep her from breaking down completely.

“Those damn assholes!” On the other hand, Vic had no such restraint. “They’re manhandling you like you’re some kind of criminal! Don’t they realize they could kill you by pinning you down like that?!”

“...I really did feel like they were trying to kill me,” Present Mary muttered. “I thought I was done for.”

Then, another voice added to the amassing brouhaha.

“Sir! You’re not allowed in there!”

In seconds, the door flew right open. Both current and past Mary’s heads snapped up to see who was at the door.

“Daddy!” The two of them shouted in unison.

The doctors froze as Todd barged into the room. He himself stopped in his tracks, eyes widening as he processed the awful situation playing out before him. But one look at his crying daughter was all it took for his eyes to flash fire.

“GET THE HELL OFF MY DAUGHTER!!” Todd sprinted towards the doctor who pinned Mary down and used both arms to push him off, screaming bloody murder as he did so.

The doctor fell onto the tiny wooden table Mary had flipped over, and it broke in half under his weight. It was here that the static that consumed the doctor disappeared, revealing what he really looked like: A large, stocky middle aged man with thinning brown hair and a matching mustache and beard. He wore a white lab coat over a gray blazer, gray pants, and brown leather shoes. He looked like…a person. A regular person. To think that back then, she used to think he was a giant on par with the one from that Jack and the Beanstalk story her father read to her a few times. Present Mary stole a glance at the name tag pinned to his coat.

Dr. Jacob Goldman.

“Mary!” Todd scooped the crying girl into his arms, wasting no time whispering soothing words and comforting her. Little Mary broke into another fit, but this time, it was out of pure, unbridled relief. After a minute, Todd stood up and stomped towards the trio of befuddled doctors.

“You ought to be ashamed of yourselves! You could have killed my daughter!” Todd roared. “What the hell is wrong with you all?!”

No words were exchanged. But as far as Todd was concerned, their silence spoke volumes. Todd marched right up to Goldman in particular, who almost buckled under the father’s smoldering gaze. If looks could kill, present Mary was sure her father’s burning gaze would melt Dr. Goldman into a puddle.

“You!” Todd pressed his index finger right into Dr. Goldman’s chest, his face red as a tomato. The doctor crumpled under the younger man’s fury. “I can’t even say I’m surprised that you of all people are behind all this! If this is how you deal with children, then you shouldn’t even be around kids at all, let alone working with them! I don’t know what kind of bullshit you put into my wife’s head, but you are never. Ever. EVER going to hurt my daughter again! The next time you even so much as breathe in her direction, I swear to God I will make you regret it! Oh, and be ready for a lawsuit headed your way! I’m sure the courts will be veeeery happy to revoke your medical license, assuming it’s even legit!!”

As much as her father’s yelling rattled her bones, even with her ears covered, Mary couldn’t help but smile as she watched him turn that doctor into a blubbering, crumpling coward. She remembered feeling relieved beyond relieved when her father barged into that room and saved her like a knight rescuing a princess from a wicked witch. Finally, she would no longer be subjected to this nightmare! Watching her father dress down those doctors was…Was there even a word for what Mary felt?

Someone might know. “Is there a word for when something really really good happens, and you feel like all your…stress, anger, and all your pent-up feelings are gone?”

“Cathartic. It comes from the word catharsis,” Vic replied. “It means purging of emotions and tension, or stress relief.”

Yes. That was it. Cathartic. Only Vic could know a word that described watching her father save her younger self and call out those doctors for what they were so perfectly. With the whimpering Mary in his arms, Todd stomped out of the room, but shot an intense glare in Dana’s direction. Dana, whose eyes were wide like saucers, with her mouth hanging open, like she had seen a building collapse in front of her. She looked like she had been punched in the stomach. Present Mary knew exactly what she was thinking when Todd glared at her.

“We are never bringing Mary back here. Ever. We have a LOT to discuss when we get home,” Todd growled through clenched teeth, grabbing his wife by one hand and dragging her away. Mary knew he meant every word he said.

Finally, the scene ended, but everything broke into static. Blanca breathed a huge sigh of relief. “My goodness, that was utterly painful!” She proclaimed, her voice almost breaking. “I can’t seem to stop shaking…you went through such horrible things…!”

Mary opened her mouth to speak, but memories began flashing by them again. Luckily, they were happier ones. Mary starting her first day of kindergarten. Mary meeting Caitlin and Leo in class, playing with them at recess, and having lunch at their table, with the three of them laughing and chatting merrily like they had been friends for years. Mary begging Reagan to play a song she heard on the computer. Mary riding a pony at a fair and enjoying every second of it. Mary and her family walking through the Phipps Conservatory one year. But there was one thing that hadn’t changed in every single one of those memories: Dana’s expressions, which were either tired, sad, or angry by default, with very little variation.

“I felt so much better after Dad took me out of ABA,” Mary mused to herself, watching as a memory of her younger self playing Go Fish with Caitlin, Leo, and Reagan flashed before her eyes.

Within seconds, the memory changed to something else. It showed Dana pushing a large red cart, with a four-year-old Mary in the bigger end of it.

“Huh? Why didn’t this one play earlier?” Present Mary asked out loud. She recognized her four-year-old self, confused as to why it didn’t play alongside the ABA sections. Then again, Vic mentioned that sometimes one’s memories, when displayed via the projector, could be random and not always in order.

“I’m not sure,” Blanca scratched her head, wondering the same thing.

At one point, four-year-old Mary pointed to a shelf full of stuffed animals. “Bah!” She cried out. Present Mary walked closer to see what her younger self was pointing at. Her eyes went wide.

There, slumped piteously on the shelf, with her ears drooping downward, was Mimi.

“Bun buun!” Four-year-old Mary used both hands to bang on the edge of the cart, locking her gaze onto the sad looking stuffed animal.

“Oh. You want that stuffed bunny?” Dana asked. Without hesitation, Dana took the bunny off the shelf and placed it in the cart. “Here you go. I have to pay for it first, though.”

“Yaaay! Thanguu!” Four-year-old Mary chirruped, throwing her tiny arms around the stuffed rabbit and hugging her tightly.

Once again, ice ran through present Mary’s veins. “Something’s…off,” She stammered.

“What’s wrong?” Vic asked.

Something about this memory didn’t feel right. When present Mary looked over at Dana…her face blanched.

Her mother was…smiling. Her cheeks didn’t look hollow, nor did she have bags under her eyes.

“Wah!” Vic yelped. “Mary! Your feet!”

Vic’s voice snapped her back to reality, and she looked down. Static was enveloping her feet, only reaching as high as her ankles. “Why are my feet turning all staticky?!” Mary screamed.

Blanca was quick to take the initiative. “Mary, breathe. Take a minute to calm down. Flap your hands if you need to,” She advised gently.

Permission secured, Mary flailed her arms in every direction like she was exercising. It didn’t make the static dissipate, but as far as Mary was concerned, her fear was starting to alleviate somewhat. Blanca kept her distance, giving Mary room to flail her arms without fear of bumping into someone.

“You said this memory felt off. Do you happen to know why?” Blanca asked.

Mary’s limbs slowed down as she looked back at the memory playing out before her. Oddly enough, it seemed to freeze. Dana continued to smile down at Mary. The smile looked…fake. Plastered on. It dawned on her in that moment.

“This isn’t what happened,” Mary said. “I don’t remember Mom ever smiling at me like that. Ever.”

A brief flash, and the same memory replayed. This time, Dana’s face looked hollow and worn out, with bags weighing her eyes down. Present Mary looked down at her feet. Sure enough, the static on her feet disappeared completely. Dana wheeled four-year-old Mary down an aisle, but the toddler began rocking and moaning.

“Uuugh…” Mary’s four-year-old self whimpered.

“Mary, don’t you dare,” Dana hissed. “You’re going to have to learn how to handle yourself in a public place some time.”

Vic crossed his arms. “Yeah, this checks out.”

Not long after, four-year-old Mary spotted Mimi on a shelf, lying on her side like she was about to fall off. The toddler shot right up and began banging on the cart.

“Bun bun! Bah!”

Dana’s eyes darted over to the bunny plush, then back at Mary. “Mary, you just received a bunch of birthday presents earlier today. You don’t need more.”

“Bun-bun wooks wonwy!” Four-year-old Mary protested.

Present Mary knew exactly what her younger self was saying. The plushie looked sad and lonely. Her younger self felt bad for Mimi. With a huff, Dana yanked the stuffed rabbit and threw it into the cart.

“Fine. I’ll buy it, if it’ll make you be quiet for more than five minutes,” Dana’s response was irritable and hard with a very bitter undercurrent.

A heaviness weighed down present Mary’s chest. “I…I had no idea that was how it really happened…”

“This was when you first got Mimi, right?” Blanca asked.

The blood running through Mary’s veins grew cold as she nodded. “I thought Mom was happy when she got Mimi for me. I was…wrong…I don’t know how I remembered this wrong…”

“I think I know why,” Vic piped in, his voice somber and sympathetic. “You were probably so desperate for any kind of happy memory with your mom, any one at all, that you probably changed one or some of your memories to make it seem happier than it really was. It’s been known to happen. The pamphlet even mentions this.”

Desperation…yes, that was it. She was desperate. So, so desperate for her mother to show her even the tiniest ounce of love for her. “I…changed my own memories…” There was no mistaking the strain in her voice now. “So she never smiled at me then. Not since before I was…”

Diagnosed as autistic , her mind finished the sentence as she realized the implications.

Yet another scenery change flickered into existence. Mary looked around, once again recognizing the room she was in. It was the den, with its dark walls and big windows overlooking both the front and backyard, along with the computer and desk nestled into one corner, and the TV in another. Dana was sitting in a computer chair, looking at something on the monitor with a severe expression on her face. One Mary knew all too well.

“What’s that big thing over there?” Vic asked, pointing to the big, black flatscreen television.

Mary smiled as she explained. “That’s a television. TV for short. It shows you all kinds of stuff, like movies, shows, made up stories, or real stuff that’s going on in the world.”

“Ohhh!” Vic smacked his palm against his fist as the realization hit him like a lightning bolt. “I’ve heard about those! So this is what a TV looks like!” He exclaimed.

Mary giggled at the sight, happy that she was able to teach Vic something new.

However, her happiness was immediately broken when a voice echoed from the computer monitor.

“I am Autism,” A sudden booming, deep voice cut through the silence, reverberating in Mary’s ears, making her jolt slightly.

A voice that filled her with abject dread. She turned around to face the computer monitor. A video was playing on a website, depicting kids standing around or waving their arms. Ominous background music played over the footage.

“What in the world is this?” Blanca asked, concerned.

Mary opened her mouth to answer, but footsteps stopped her from doing so. A six-year-old version of herself ran into the den, all smiles, with her left arm wrapped around Mimi. Little Mary ran right up to Dana, waving Mimi close to her face.

“Mommy! Play with me!” Little Mary chirruped.

“Not now, Mary. I’m busy,” Dana replied tersely, not taking her eyes off the video even once.

Present Mary’s body began to shake. The memory washed over her whole being as it played out before her eyes. “I…I remember this now…” Her tiny voice quavered as she pushed the words out.

“Mary? Are you alright?” Blanca asked.

Mary couldn’t conjure a response, as the video playing on the monitor shut down any attempts she tried to make to communicate. But Blanca could see her discomfort clear as day.

“I am visible to your children, but if I can help it, I am invisible to you until it's too late.”

“Mommy!” Little Mary called out. “Pweez play with me? I’m bored!”

Dana waved her hand at her daughter, brushing her off. “No, Mary. Go play with Reagan. I’m busy with this.”

No she wasn’t. Mary knew her mother wasn’t busy. What was so enrapturing about that video?

“I know where you live, and guess what? I live there too,” The video droned in its robotic artificiality.

Words scrambled through Mary’s mind in tune with her rapidly increasing heartbeat. Questions without answers came in every direction.

‘Why won’t she just pause the video? It’s not like she’s busy! Better yet, why not just press the red X button and close it? She’s not getting anything from that awful video, and it’s only ten or so minutes long. It’s not like the video is forcing her to watch it. She has the power to just turn it off and get back to it later. Why was she considering this video more important than her daughter? Was this video really that important? What’s Mom even getting out of this anyway?’

Her heart twisted and turned, and she found herself carrying out full on arguments with her mental voice, berating herself for not remembering any of this. How could she have? Most of this stuff happened when she was an infant, while she was sleeping and unaware of the world around her. Her hands trembled as she clutched onto the hem of her dress shirt. She couldn’t breathe. Everything was closing in. It was like the video was consuming her whole with its cruel insinuations. Dana refused to move. Was the video…possessing her? Drawing her in with its false assumptions and a promise of a life of perpetual tragedy?

The voice on the video seemed to grow louder, exploding in Mary’s ears alongside her pounding heartbeat, as if mocking her.

“I work very quickly. I work faster than pediatric AIDS, cancer, and diabetes combined.”

“NO!!” Mary screamed at the top of her lungs. That lone, untrue sentence was the straw that broke the camel’s back. She couldn’t contain her frustration, her anger, her sorrow, and her hurt anymore. All of it just exploded out of her. “THAT’S NOT TRUE!!” Mary threw both arms out to try and grab the keyboard, but all it did was phase through it, sending gray static sparks flying. “It’s not true!! Stop watching that stupid video, Mom!! I’M NOT A DISEASE!!”

“Mary! Stop!” Blanca wrapped both arms around Mary, holding her back but still giving her room to flail her arms and legs around. “You can’t do anything! It’s just a memory!”

“I don’t care!!” Mary shrieked as she kicked her legs out and pushed on Blanca’s arms to break free. Even though Blanca’s arms were squishy, Mary couldn’t maneuver her way out from their grasp. “That video’s lying!! Whoever made it is making up stuff about people like me that’s not true!! And my mom believes every word of it!!”

That was what hurt Mary the most: the fact that her mother would much rather listen to lies perpetuated by people who don’t have the best interests of autistic people at heart, knowingly brushing off opportunities for Mary to receive support that’s actually helpful, than actually be there for her daughter. In constant pursuit of a magic cure that never existed and never will. Mary wailed and bawled as she tried to free herself from Blanca’s grasp. Nothing worked, and the video continued to drone on, spouting lie after lie after horrible, venomous lie. Since everything around her was just a memory, Mary knew she couldn’t just pause the video and close it out, as much as part of her wanted to beyond all hope.

“And if you are happily married, I will make sure your marriage fails.”

Is this what her mother believed? Tears trickled down Mary’s cheeks, more so when she saw her six-year-old self walk out of the den with a desolate look on her face. Was her mother that convinced that Mary being autistic was the cause of all her problems? All the family’s problems? That it would set everyone on a permanent path to tragedy and ruin? That Mary was somehow responsible for every single bad thing that happened, even if it wasn’t her fault or beyond her control?

“Okay, that’s flat-out bullshit!” Vic proclaimed, with no intent to sugarcoat anything. “I may not know much about Autism or what have you, but I can smell the bullshit all over this!”

Blanca nodded in agreement as she watched Mary flail her limbs around to get her emotions out of her system. “Mary,” She whispered in her dulcet voice. “We believe you. We know you’re not what that video is making you…or people like you, out to be. Or what your mother believes you to be.”

“I know…! I know, but…!” Mary mewled and bawled, completely desolate, her mind trapped in sorrowful delirium. “Why would she pick this over…me?!” She hated the way that sentence came out, but couldn’t come up with a better way to describe how she felt. Her screams died down, but the tears gushed out of her eyes like little waterfalls.

“I will make sure that every day you wake up, you will cry, wondering who will take care of my child after I die.”

Mary didn’t even want to think about whatever implications were behind that particular statement.

Finally, more memories followed, putting an end to the nightmare that was that awful video. Oddly enough, Mary’s field trip at the Carnegie Science Center played out before her. Watching herself and the other kids have fun with the exhibits helped to alleviate her previous sorrow, but in the back of her mind, she knew what was coming. It wasn’t until the kids had lunch that the worst parts of that trip played out. Greg knocking her tray out of her hand and calling her names. Greg’s mom scolding him. Dana yanking her to the bathroom and yelling at her, claiming she was the one picking on Greg. A flame of anger rose up from inside Mary when she saw how the memory played out.

“I KNEW IT!!” Mary yelled. “I knew Greg was the one who knocked my tray out of my hands back then! Mom tried to convince me I was the one being mean to him, but I knew that was a big fat lie!!”

“Your Mom tried to gaslight you?” Vic asked.

Mary had no time to ask what the word gaslight meant, as another memory followed. It was the incident at Barnes and Noble. Mary’s veins turned to ice once more as she saw her mother sitting on top of her, pinning her down in the same way the ABA therapists did years ago. But Mary noticed other things as well. Horrified looks on bystanders’ faces. People whispering to one another.

“What’s she doing to that child?”

“We have to do something! She wasn’t even doing anything!”

“It’s none of our business, though.”

“God, I would not want anyone treating my child that way.”

“Don’t you think she’s being unnecessarily rough?”

In that moment, the blog entry that mentioned the B&N incident flashed through her mind’s eye once more. I could see everyone staring at me while I tried to get her under control. Their wide eyes and mouths agape, probably thinking “What the hell is wrong with that kid? Why would those parents even take her out in public? It doesn’t look like they can even discipline her properly.” Now, seeing the memory for herself, outside her own perspective, she knew for sure that her mother’s blog entry had been completely and utterly wrong. The bystanders weren’t thinking that Mary was a bad kid. They were appalled by Dana’s actions.

Only now did everything become clear as crystal.

“So…I wasn’t just being a bad kid after all…”

Static exploded from underneath Mary, consuming everything whole. “Wha?!” The trio huddled together, but they found themselves being lifted into the air, flying across a white void. Fragments of rectangular memories sped past them.

Once again, everything went white.

“Bwahh!” Mary’s eyes shot open as a scream escaped her throat. She sat right up, feeling something trailing down her side. It was the tape, with the white memory orbs clinging to the end of it. She reached for her scalp, feeling nothing on it. Her whole body buzzed with new adrenaline.

“Mary!” Blanca and Vic seemed to break out of their trances as well, with the former gathering up the discarded tape. “Are you alright?” Blanca asked.

“I…I don’t know…”

Vic brushed some hair out of his face with one paw. “Well, that was certainly something.”

“That’s an understatement,” Mary growled, wrapping her arms around herself to squeeze the adrenaline out. “But…I’m glad I saw my memories. There’s so much I didn’t remember before. But knowing the truth doesn’t make it any easier…”

“Did you get the answers you wanted?” Blanca inquired.

Answers. Mary remembered why she wanted to see her memories in the first place. “I did, and I don’t regret it.”

Only now did Mary finally put into words the thing she couldn’t tell Vic and Blanca before. The real reason she was horrified by the blog entry she saw. “It doesn’t change the fact that Mom wants to kill me.”

Blanca and Vic’s eyes widened. “Is that…what she wrote on the blog entry that made you run away?”

Mary shrugged. “She used a different word, but I think that’s what she said.”

Another silence followed until Vic ran over to his backpack, dug through one of the pockets, and pulled out the cellphone he acquired from the Black Market Car. He scuttled back to Mary, foisting it out for her to see. “Mary. Can you show me this blog and the entry that got you so scared?”

“Why?”

“Vic, she might not be comfortable with that,” Blanca warned him. “Since her mother is sharing private information about Mary to the public without her consent, I don’t think we have any business looking at the blog.”

“I know. But I just want to look at that particular entry and confirm something. I won’t look at anything else,” Vic clarified. “Mary, can you remember the exact wording your mother used to describe what she wants to do to you?”

Mary held a finger to her mouth as she searched her brain, ruminating on the question. “Well…the word she used was…ster-lize? I don’t know if I’m saying it right. I’ll show you the blog,” She leaned down to type the name of the blog into Vic’s phone. Oddly enough, the blog itself showed up right away, and Mary wasted no time looking through the archives and finding the specific entry. As uncomfortable as she was with the idea of anyone seeing that blog, she did appreciate that Vic respected her wishes enough to only focus on that particular entry, not any of the other ones for the time being.

It didn’t take long for Vic to scroll through it, with Mary and Blanca sitting down to read it as well. Blanca winced upon reading it, and Mary could see her face contort in visceral disgust, appalled by Dana’s writings. “I cannot fathom why she would want to rewrite the events of that field trip we saw and make you out to be the troublemaker. Especially since we saw the memory in question, and know for a fact that you did nothing wrong,” Blanca said. “And to completely catastrophize it and act like it’s somehow a sign that you’re guaranteed to become a criminal? She hasn’t any right to decide that.”

Mary couldn’t agree more. After looking through her memories, as painful as most of them were, a great deal made far more sense than before, especially one particular sentence her mother wrote in that very entry: If my mother sees Mary out and about behaving the way she does, I’ll never hear the end of it! It’s bad enough she still hasn’t forgiven me over what happened at my uncle’s funeral!

Finally, Vic found the sentence that frightened Mary so much, and like when he read the pamphlet, he couldn’t contain his outrage. “WHAT?! She wants to sterilize you?! The hell?!”

“Is that how you say it?”

Vic took a minute to compose himself before speaking to Mary. “Yep, but Mary? The word sterilize doesn’t mean kill.”

“It doesn’t?” Well, that cleared things up. Mary found herself glad to know that her mother wasn’t planning on killing her after all.

The hamster shook his head. “Sterilize comes from the word sterile, which means being unable to have babies.”

Babies? Mary tilted her head to one side, even more confused than before. “But what does not having babies have to do with Mom hating me for being autistic? And how do you even stop someone from having babies?”

“I’ll show you,” Vic ran back into his backpack, scuttled through one of the pockets, and pulled out a small notepad and some paper. He flipped to a blank sheet and drew an upside down triangle. “Okay, so you know what a uterus is, right?”

Mary nodded. She learned about a woman’s organs in health class once, and sometimes watched medical shows on TV. Sometimes she would ask Reagan about them in more detail, and her older sister was happy to oblige.

“Let’s pretend this triangle is a uterus,” Vic began before drawing two circles on the top corners of the triangle, along with adding lines connecting them. “And these circles are ovaries, and the circular lines connecting them are called fallopian tubes. Basically, ovaries produce eggs, and they travel through fallopian tubes to implant themselves into the uterus. I won’t go into the details of how your body produces eggs, as that’s not important to what I’m trying to explain. I learned about all this in that human anatomy book someone left me.”

Once again, Mary nodded, soaking up the information as much as she could. So far, things made sense.

“Anyway, there are at least three ways someone can sterilize a woman that I know of, all of which involve going to a doctor and going through surgeries,” Vic continued on. “Depending on the circumstances, a doctor can either tie off the fallopian tubes with strings or special devices,” Vic drew X’s on the lines connecting the circles to the triangle. “Or just cutting sections of the tubes entirely, making it impossible for any eggs to travel to the uterus. This is kinda gruesome, but I’ve also heard that surgeons can also cut out a girl’s uterus. I don’t know if that’s still a common practice, though.”

“My word! I can’t hear more of this!” Blanca cried out as she covered her eyes with both hands.

Vic frowned, immediately realizing his mistake. “Yeah, that was probably a bit much. Sorry about that.”

On the other hand, Mary found herself completely dumbstruck. That was what sterilize meant? Her brain had the wind knocked right out of it, and any attempt at processing this new information just made the realization even more horrifying. Words completely escaped her. It was like ice hung suspended in the air before violently clattering around her like raging hail. A weight pressed down on her chest, and it felt like the walls of this overly cluttered study were closing in on her, threatening to swallow her whole. Images flashed into her mind. Herself strapped to a large operating table, eyes open, with doctors draped from head to toe in surgical scrubs, with one of them holding a scalpel to her stomach. Was that what her mother wanted to do to her? Her body trembled as the implications behind all that Vic explained were illuminated, her heart pounding hard inside her ribs like a bird desperately trying to fly in a too-small cage.

“She…she…she wants to have a doctor cut me up and mess with my body?!” Mary shrieked. Even hearing the words she shouted sounded hollow in her throbbing ears.

This was too much. Just too much. It was bad enough her mother dragged her to all those ABA doctors in a futile attempt to cure her. But to actually consider doing something like having her daughter be put under the knife and mess with her internal organs? Permanently? To make it so that she can’t have children when she grows up? What gave her the right to decide that was the best course of action? Mary didn’t even want kids. She currently is one! Only adults could bear children if they got married. Mary wasn’t an adult yet, but her mother wanted to make it so that she could never have kids no matter what, long before she was ready to? Her heart twisted and turned, and she found herself having full on arguments with her own inner voice, berating herself for being so blind and ignorant. Mary couldn’t breathe. Everything was closing in.

It was just too much. Somehow, the revelation that her mother wanted to have a doctor cut her open and alter her organs seemed far worse than what she initially assumed before.

But more than that…The fact that her own mother had so little faith in her that she let some quack convince her that Mary would automatically become a criminal, an irredeemable monster, or a terrible parent just because she’s autistic…

Made her

So

God damn

ANGRY!

A scream escaped Mary’s throat as she grabbed her backpack and slammed it to the ground. She threw herself to the floor and began punching the backpack as hard as her tiny fists could handle. Punch, punch, punch. Indignant rage seized her as she howled and bawled and beat her backpack and its contents, unleashing all the anger she had kept inside. The anger, horror, and heartbreak that threatened to consume her whole. Blanca and Vic backed away, keeping their distance, wordlessly allowing Mary to have space to let it all out. As far as they were concerned, she had every right to be furious.

“SHE CAN’T DO THAT TO ME!!” Mary howled, slamming her fists onto the surface of her backpack. It was a good thing her backpack was full of clothes, a blanket, and some books, so punching it didn’t make her hands hurt. “I DON’T WANNA BE CUT UP AND HAVE MY ORGANS MESSED WITH!!” She slammed her face into the fabric of her backpack and screamed louder than she ever screamed before. Her legs and arms came to life as she slammed them on the floor to get the anger out of her system.

None of them knew how long this went on, but gradually, Mary’s angry howling turned into pitiful, wretched sobbing, then into low whimpering.

“Why…why would she want to do that to me…?” Mary sobbed.

In a way, she already knew the answer, but that didn’t make the revelation any less horrifying. There were still so many things Mary didn’t understand, but even if she did, she knew none of it—Dana’s problems with her mother or whatever Dana herself felt—did anything to even remotely justify what she wanted to do to her own daughter. So what if her mother had a loveless childhood? So what if her mother was cruel to her? Did that really give Dana the right to do the same things to her own daughter, and possibly worse?

“Mon dieu! What is all this racket?” An unfamiliar voice pulled Mary out of her sorrow.

All three of them turned—or in Mary’s case, lifted her head up from her backpack—to find a beige cat with shiny golden eyes walking towards them, with a notebook in its mouth. The cat set the notebook down on the rug and eyed the trio with scrutiny.

“Goodness, I come back from a relaxing vacation, and what do I find? Three unwelcome intruders are trespassing on my abode!” The cat drawled in a refined accent that none of them could identify.

So this car belonged to this cat. Mary immediately scrambled upright, taking her backpack and Mimi into her hands, and walked up to the cat with an apologetic look on her face. “We’re sorry, Miss Kitty. We didn’t know this was your car.”

“My name is not Miss Kitty, it’s The Cat.”

Vic immediately bristled. “Well, rest assured, we’re not staying a minute longer, and we made sure not to touch your things, in case you’re worried about that.”

Blanca bowed. “We apologize for any trouble we caused you.”

It was here that Mary noticed the notebook. It had a crimson cover, with strips of tape on the front and a sticky note taped right underneath them. The strips of tape and note read The Esmoroth TRILOGY Book 1: Rise of the True King.

“What’s that you got there?” Mary asked, pointing to the notebook in question.

The Cat scowled at her, waving her paw at them to shoo her away. “I’m afraid that’s none of your concern. Go on. Be off with you!”

With that, the trio packed their things and immediately left the car, not wanting to earn more of The Cat’s ire. But the three of them couldn’t quite bring themselves to cross the bridge to the next car. Mary slid against the wall as she sat down, still trying to process all that she learned. She held Mimi close, squeezing her tightly, like she hoped doing so would push the lingering anger out of her. It didn’t quite work, but Mary felt a little bit better.

Blanca slid next to her, shrinking herself so that she would be at Mary’s height. “Mary. I know you’re upset, and I know all this new information we learned about is…a  lot to take in.”

“Upset doesn’t even come close to…describing how sad I feel. Is there a bigger word for sad?” Mary muttered.

“Miserable. Despondent. Desolate. Inconsolable are a few that I know of,” Blanca told her in her dulcet voice. “But I want you to know, what Dana has done to you, and is planning to do to you, is wrong. You didn’t deserve to be put through all that you have, and even if she may try to convince you otherwise, you are not responsible for her problems or the decisions she’s made. You’re only responsible for your own thoughts, actions, and decisions, nothing else.”

Mary sniffed and wiped her eyes with her arm. Blanca was right. Even if Mary may have done some things she shouldn’t have or tried her family’s patience, none of that warranted what her mother did or planned to do to her.

“Only you can make your own decisions in regards to your body and personal boundaries. There’s nothing wrong with advocating for yourself, putting your foot down, and saying no,” Blanca said.

“But what if they don’t listen?” Mary asked. “What if mom tries to take me to a doctor so they can cut me up, I say no, and they try to do it to me anyway? Grown-ups always listen to other grown-ups, and I’m just a kid. They probably won’t listen to me, or they might just tell me to be quiet and do what they tell me.”

“That shouldn’t mean you’re not allowed to have a say!” Vic barked. “You had no say in what your mom did to you. Besides, we all know she’s full of it with all her claims about you ruining her life, but you weren’t exactly holding a gun to her head and threatening her, now were you?”

Mary shook her head silently. She had to admit, that was a really good analogy, and hearing it recontextualized a lot of things. Yes, Mary knew now that she probably shouldn’t have cried during the funeral and broke that woman’s necklace, even if the latter was by accident. But she had no alternatives to communicating what was wrong. How could she have? She was a toddler back then, a toddler that couldn’t speak yet, and hadn’t been taught the proper ways to conduct herself, nor did she have anything that could help her deal with the organ music, like ear plugs. Even if Mary did draw attention to her family when she shouldn’t have, did that really make what Dana and Irene did right? Should that one incident really be held over Mary’s head and used to define her forever?

She balled her hands into fists. No. That was all Dana. Her mother did all of this. She chose to put Mary through ABA and view her as nothing more than damaged goods. Mary didn’t make her do anything.

“Vic’s right,” Blanca continued on. “We know you’re not the person your mother is making you out to be. You are a brave, kind, compassionate girl. You shouldn’t force yourself to conform to others’ expectations of you, especially if you can’t realistically fulfill them. What matters is that you like yourself for who and what you are.”

New tears streamed out from Mary’s blue eyes. She wiped them away, but more came. The Wasteland was too blurry to make out anymore. So many emotions whirled inside her, begging to be let out, and no longer just her anger. At least with Blanca and Vic here, she felt safe to let it all out without fear of getting scolded for doing so.

“I know. I…I want to like myself…” Mary’s words dissolved into shaky, breathless sobs. “But I do hate myself. I’ve hated myself for a long time. I always feel worthless, unlovable, and horrible whenever I’m around my mom. She always says all I do is misbehave and ruin everything and makes me feel like I don’t deserve any good things. I try to do what she tells me and be nice, but nothing I did was ever good enough for her. I-I-I’ve always t-t-trying not to make things worse for myself or…or not do or say something people think is weird, but I never know what’s right or wrong, and when I ask, Mom always says I’m being rude! I-I-I-I even believed for a time that she was right to put me through ABA, or that I really was mean to Greg on the field trip, or that I…I don’t deserve to exist as I am…”

Vic crawled up her leg and rested a reassuring hand on Mary’s tear-stained one. “You’re not worthless, and you do deserve to exist and live as you are,” Vic asserted, his firm voice leaving no room for nonsense. “Your mother shouldn’t keep holding you responsible for her own problems and decisions. It’s on her to change, not you. Besides, you have all the time in the world to be whatever person you want to be. You can do so much more now than you did when you were a baby, and as you grow up, you can learn new things and do even more stuff than you can do now.”

Blanca flashed an understanding smile. “And you’re not alone, y’know? You still have your father and big sister, and your friends and teachers at school. Even if your mother doesn’t appreciate you for who you are, there will always be people who do. There may even be some you haven’t met yet,” Blanca reminded her.

That was true. Mary still did have her father, sister, friends, and Mr. Bryant. If she hadn’t decided to get on the train, she never would have met Blanca and Vic. She had them now.

“Speaking of people who you haven’t met, there’s something else I noticed on that particular blog entry,” Vic exclaimed, pointing to Mary’s cell phone. “I saw that people left comments on it, so I read some of them. I think you should as well.”

Comments? Mary shuddered as she pulled her phone out. If people saw that entry and commented on it, what did they say about it? On one hand, there might be people who agreed with her mother’s views, and just thinking about it made bile rise in Mary’s throat. On the other hand…with that slim sliver of hope in her mind, Mary pulled up the blog entry again and checked the comments section.

Her eyes widened, and she gave a light gasp as she read them.

“How can you possibly endorse sterilizing your autistic child? The lack of empathy you have for your daughter really says a lot about you as a person.”

“This is utterly inhumane! You mock your daughter, doubt that she’s even a sentient being, and are seriously considering eliminating her reproductive rights! What the hell is wrong with you?! I feel sorry for Mary.”

“Your daughter is a human being. She gets to make her own choices on whether she wants children or not. Not people like you. Your daughter deserves so much better than this.”

“Absolutely disgusting. If this is how you see your child, then maybe you shouldn’t be having kids. Mary deserves better. I have to question whether this is why she went missing. I wouldn’t put it past her to run away because she knows you plan on doing this to her.”

“I can’t fathom why you would share all this intimate information about your daughter without her consent like this. You are so self-centered it’s not even funny. Stop with the woe-is-me attitude. People like you contribute to the stigmas and discrimination neurodivergents face every day.”

“Autistic people, like all people, especially your daughter, need acceptance, patience, and love. We don’t need to be fixed. We need to be accepted. First and foremost, we need to be accepted by our own families. We need to feel loved and safe in our own homes. We need respect for our stims, our special interests, and our privacy. This blog is devoid of such respect. I am legitimately crying right now.”

These were just six comments out of a total of thirty, half of which were posted after Mary went missing. Many of them were several paragraphs long, using big and unfamiliar language and terminology she couldn’t quite grasp. But all of them had one thing in common: Total strangers on the internet, who had never even met Mary in person, were appalled by her mother’s actions and standing up for her on her behalf. Mary couldn’t believe her eyes, yet somehow…it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

Even complete strangers who didn’t know her personally cared about her. Already, Mary felt her heart grow light as a feather. In this moment, she finally realized to herself: She really wasn’t alone after all. There were people who cared. Those closest to her, and even people who never met her, hearing her story and wanting to help in some way, no matter how small.

Another question popped into her mind: Did she really need her mother’s love at this point? What was the point in trying to get something she’d never have? Her mother made it pretty clear that she’d never love Mary as long as she was autistic, and she knew there was no cure for it. Well, if that’s how her mother felt, then that was her problem, not Mary’s.

“I don’t care what Mom says or wants anymore,” Mary said with a smile on her face. “I’m done hurting myself to make her happy, and I’m done letting her walk all over me. I have you guys now,” She wrapped her arms around Blanca, who returned the gesture with just as much fervor. Vic crawled off Mary’s leg and scuttled up her shoulder, nuzzling against her neck.

Yes, this was what she wanted all along. Mary felt happy, sad, relieved, angry, and silly all at the same time. Happy that she had people that still loved her, even when others didn’t. Sad and angry that her mother would probably never change her ways. Relieved that even strangers on the internet didn’t agree with her mother’s views and that her own memories weren’t like what her mother made them out to be. More than that, she felt like…it was okay to be herself for once.

The number on her hand glowed and changed, stopping at a solid 20.

Chapter Text

Todd walked down the stairs, heading towards the kitchen, yawning as he turned the corner. He had been napping in his room for about an hour and a half. The night before, work in the casino had been particularly strenuous. Dealing with drunks and angsty gamblers every day rarely ever made for a good work day. But when he got into the kitchen and turned towards the dining room, he saw Reagan covering the dining room table with papers.

Lots of papers. So many of them that they practically covered the entire table.

“Reagan?” Todd walked right inside, already worried. “What are you doing?”

Reagan had a determined look on her face as she sat down paper after paper. “Mom’s gonna be here any minute, and once she sees all the evidence we have about her blog, there’s no way she can deny it,” Reagan told him tersely.

Oh dear. She was serious about confronting Dana. “Reagan, please. You don’t need to get involved. I’ll handle this,” Todd advised. “I don’t want you doing anything you’ll regret.”

“But Dad! I can’t just sit here and do nothing!” Reagan exclaimed, her eyes wide like saucers. Even with her spectacles obscuring them slightly, Todd could make out that her eyes were red and puffy from crying. “Mary’s out there somewhere and Mom doesn’t even care!”

Todd put a hand on Reagan’s shoulder. “Reg, I know you’re upset, and you have every right to be. I am, too. But it’s not your job to confront Dana on all this. It’s mine,” He used his thumb to point to himself. “This is between me and Dana, and you don’t need to get caught up in our issues.”

Reagan sniffed, trying to hold back a sob. “This isn’t just between you guys, though! This involves all of us!”

Before either could say anything more, the door opened and Dana came inside. “I’m back!” She called out, walking straight into the dining room. As soon as she saw Reagan and Todd, Dana froze in her tracks. “Is something the matter?” She looked down at the papers covering the dining room table from corner to corner. “What’s all this?”

Reagan immediately narrowed her eyes. “I think you know what these are.”

Todd put a finger up towards Reagan, gesturing for her to be silent. He looked towards his confused wife and slowly walked up to her. “Dana. There’s something serious we need to discuss with you.”

Dana reached for one of the papers Reagan put out, and reading it made her face turn ghost white. She looked through paper after paper, like she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. “What…why…how…? This isn’t…!” Her facial muscles contorted more and more with every entry she read, and her cheeks reddened from embarrassment. “How in the world did you find out about this?!”

An easy enough question to answer in Todd’s mind. “One of the detectives informed us about it,” Todd answered with furrowed eyebrows. No way was he going to mention that Mary seemingly texted Reagan about it, assuming it even was Mary who sent Reagan those texts. He took two papers in his hands and showed them to Dana, his arms shaking. “Dana…please tell me you didn’t write these things…” His voice quavered as he spoke. “You don’t…actually feel this way about Mary, do you?”

Unsure of what he was talking about, Dana took one of the papers from Todd’s hands and read it. It was her most recent blog entry, describing how she had decided to give up on looking for Mary. Todd froze in place, waiting for Dana’s answer, knowing it probably wasn’t going to be anything that he wanted to hear. He saw Dana’s fingers tighten around the edge of the paper she held onto, folding parts of it into creases. Her small figure began trembling. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.

One thing did stick out to Todd. Dana didn’t deny actually making the blog.

“...Come on, Todd. You really think I could actually hate my own daughter?” Dana spat the words out like they were poison. “All I’m doing is venting my frustrations. What’s wrong with that? And by the way, neither of you have any right to go through my blog. It’s an invasion of privacy,” Her words adopted a bitter undercurrent.

Reagan slammed a fist on the table, sending some papers fluttering to the floor. “Mom! Do you hear yourself right now?! You’re complaining about us invading your privacy?! You’re the one telling random strangers on the internet stuff about Mary you’re not supposed to!” Reagan shouted indignantly, her face flushing beet red as she grabbed one paper in particular. “Like this, for example! Why are you telling people about Mary’s meltdown at the Barnes and Noble?! Nobody needs to know about this! It’s none of their business! None of what you wrote is even true! And for that matter, your blog isn’t even private to begin with! Ever heard of a thing called privacy settings?!”

Dana’s face contorted into visceral anger. “You watch your mouth, Reagan!” She was about to say more, but Todd cut her off before she could do so. He planted both hands on Dana’s shoulders, locking her into place.

“Reagan does raise a valid point, Dana,” Todd did everything he could to keep his voice calm and composed. But even he could tell the facade was slipping. Even so, he steeled himself and continued speaking. “We’ve read practically everything you wrote. There’s no point in denying it. Please, we just want to know why you would do this…why you’d say these things about your own flesh and blood…our daughter, who’s God knows where!”

Another awkward silence followed. Electricity crackled in the air, making the atmosphere tense with everyone’s simmering anger.

“...So you’re blaming me, then. Is that it?” Dana retorted.

“Huh?”

Dana wriggled out from Todd’s grip. “I can’t believe this! My own family is turning against me! You think I’m the reason she’s gone!” She exclaimed. “Oh, sure! My youngest is missing?! Let’s all blame the mother! Clearly I’m responsible for everything!!” She spread her arms akimbo as she ranted.

“Dana! We’re not blaming anyone for anything!” Todd raised both hands into the air like he was being arrested. “We just want answers! Why would you even talk about Mary like she’s some kind of burden?!”

“Why are you two trying to ruin the only outlet I have for all my stress?!” Dana shot back. “I spend every damn day cleaning, cooking, paying the damn bills, trying to keep Mary under control, and doing all I can to make sure we don’t become the laughingstock of the neighborhood!” Dana slammed her fist against the table, sending some papers fluttering to the floor. “To think this is the thanks I get!”

Reagan stamped her foot. “Don’t you dare try to make this into a woe-is-me pity party!!” She shouted, her voice growing hoarse. “Mary’s missing and you’re spreading all these friggin’ lies about her! And you seriously expect us to just be okay with this?! Oh, and what’s this I hear about you wanting to sterilize her?!” Reagan pulled out the paper containing the blog entry in question, holding it close and keeping it out of Dana’s reach.

Another scuff escapes Dana’s throat, and her bleary eyes widened in horror. A new stream of tears trickled down Reagan’s cheeks as she glanced over the entry.

“You’re seriously convinced she’s gonna grow up to be a criminal and a bad parent? Based on what? Some quack doctor telling you a bunch of lies?! And you want to send her to another doctor to cut her up and…make it so she can’t have her own kids when she’s older…?!” Reagan bawled, barely able to put words together to make them coherent in her indignation. “How could you?!”

“That’s another thing…” Todd clenched his teeth as he spoke. “You know Dr. Goldman is unfit to even be around children. You saw how he treated Mary. I did, too. He literally has nothing but one-star reviews on every single website that mentions his practice. I checked. Yet after all this, even after we pulled her from ABA…you’re still talking to him behind my back. Why?” Despite Todd’s efforts, his voice quavered, and his fists shook at his sides. No, he couldn’t let himself lose it. As angry as he was at Dana, the last thing he wanted to do was physically harm her.

“He’s the best hope we have!” Dana shrieked. “Things were going just fine until you dragged Mary out of ABA! She was actually making progress, but you had to come in and ruin everything! And you wonder why I never told you I was still taking her to see him!”

This couldn’t be real. She still couldn’t see how bad he was? She still believed Dr. Goldman’s honeyed lies, even after having seen evidence of his cruelty—and ABA in general—with her own eyes? Why was she so convinced Dr. Goldman’s every word was gospel? This was too much.

“Are you shitting me?!” The lid on his temper was finally blown off, and he couldn’t help but bellow in his wife’s face. “You consider watching a bunch of doctors putting her through mindless, repetitive rituals, sitting on top of her, and nearly suffocating her to death progress?! Progress for what?! She never needed to be sent to ABA!! You’re the one who signed her up for it and never told me or Mary what it entailed!”

“Because I knew the second you’d find out, you’d say no! Because heaven forbid we actually get Mary the proper help to make sure she doesn’t ruin our lives more than she already has!!”

Ruin? Todd’s heart stopped, as did Reagan’s. Dana actually thought her youngest daughter was ruining their lives? His heart thundered in his rib cage.

“Mary’s not ruining our lives! She’s our daughter!”

“Oh, quit deluding yourself, Todd! She throws tantrums in public—”

Reagan was quick to interrupt her mother’s tirade every chance she got. “Only because you caused them—”

“—People are always looking at us and gossiping about us—”

“Why do you care what other people think?!”

“—We can’t even go out to restaurants or parks without a struggle—”

“Yes we can! We have! Multiple times!”

“—She always has to have things her way—”

“There’s a difference between being demanding and asking for accommodations and understanding! You’re the one who always wants things your way and nothing else!”

“—Mary embarrassed me in front of my whole family and my mother has never forgiven me for it. Any time Mary acts out, I’m forced to take the blame—”

“Who cares what Grandmother thinks?! She’s full of it, and you can’t keep blaming Mary for everything that goes wrong in our lives!”

Mother and daughter shouted angry words at one another, yelling over each other, back and forth, with neither backing down. Todd made sure to stand between the both of them, lest things get ugly. Then again, things were already getting ugly.

“I’m trying to make sure we all have some kind of future! I’m always having to be the responsible parent here!” Dana cried.

“And you honestly believe trying to cure Mary of being autistic is the solution?” Todd growled out through clenched teeth.

That lone sentence rendered Dana silent. Finally, the lid was off. It was time to address this. No more putting it off.

“Mary can’t be cured. She never needed to be cured. There’s never been a cure for autism and there never will be. Dr. Glasgow told us this from the very beginning,” Todd reminded her in a low voice, looming over her with a fury in his eyes that was unlike him. Dana trembled at the sight. “All Mary wants is for you to accept her and love her as she is. Why do you keep treating her like she’s some kind of burden? Like damaged goods that you feel you have to fix?!” His voice rose an octave. “You never even so much as smile at her or celebrate her accomplishments! Instead you keep going around searching for some nonexistent cure from a bunch of con artists and don’t even stop to think about what they could do to her! And wanting to sterilize her because YOU think she can’t handle having children?! That’s not your decision to make!! She’s your daughter, for Christ’s sake!!”

Dana’s mouth opened and closed, as if she were desperately groping for something to say. Something, anything to contradict her husband and justify her actions.

Unlike her mother, Reagan had plenty to say. “And you seriously think telling the whole world how much you can’t stand Mary and wishing she’d never been born is your idea of responsible parenting?” She fired back. “Have you ever even considered what doing that will do to Mary’s reputation and self-esteem?! Imagine somebody going up to her and saying ‘Hey, are you Mary Summers? I read about you on the internet! You threw a tantrum in the middle of a store! I don’t think I want someone like you playing with my kids!’ Have you ever thought about that?!”

Again, Dana’s throat had dried up, so she couldn’t offer a response.

“You say you want to protect our future, but that includes Mary, and your blog could very easily ruin it, if it hasn’t already,” Todd reminded her. “What if Mary tried to apply for college or look for a job? If schools or employers were to find your blog, it’s very much possible they’d turn her away without even giving her a chance, all based on everything you wrote!”

Dana scowled once again. “You don’t know that, and stop making my blog out to be something it isn’t!”

Reagan slammed her palm on her own face, almost knocking off her glasses as she did so, staring at her mother with a wide-eyed look of utter disbelief before bellowing once again. “Stop deluding yourself, Mom! Your blog is basically an “I hate Mary” parade! Everyone knows it! We know it! The police know it! Even commenters on this entry know it!” To enforce her point, Reagan rummaged through the pages of the entry she had in her hand, turning to the comments section and showing them to Dana, practically slamming her index finger on the paper as she did so. “Every single one of these comments is telling you straight out that this! Is! Wrong!”

“They don’t know what they’re talking about,” Dana scoffed through clenched teeth. “They can never understand the pain I go through every day.”

“Pain?” Todd’s voice was hollow as he echoed the word back to Dana. What color that remained in his face had drained away. “Your pain?! What about Mary’s pain?! All the pain and suffering that YOU put her through?!” He almost slammed his index finger into his wife’s nose as he pointed at her, his eyes burning red and flashing fire as his voice rose to a deafening roar. “The pain she’s probably going through now?! Our daughter is gone, Dana, and all you want to do is sit around whining about YOUR pain?!”

The lithe woman flinched, but remained steadfast. Unable to hear more of her mother’s denial, Reagan stormed into the kitchen, with some papers in hand, but the rest of them still covered the table. This whole thing had gone on long enough, yet Dana was still unwilling to face or acknowledge her own culpability.

“Did you ever stop to consider that Mary and her being autistic are not the problem and have never been the problem?!” Todd roared once again, his voice growing hoarse. “The real problem here is your senseless crusade to cure her and make her into something she’s not! Mary will always be autistic! You should have accepted that a long time ago, and after all this time, you can’t even bring yourself to smile at her or tell her you’re proud of her! All Mary wants is for you to love her as she is!”

Another awkward silence, which was broken by Dana’s desperate, pathetic stammering. She had a deer in the headlights look, like she was looking for something, anything to say to him. “But…but…but…Autism works faster than cancer, pediatric AIDS, and diabetes combined!”

Having heard that proclamation in the kitchen, Reagan cringed as she opened a box of crackers. She ripped the top of the box open to the point of accidentally tearing one of the sides straight off.

“To do what, exactly?” Todd fired back.

Dana’s breath caught in her throat.

“Last I checked, Autism isn’t a disease,” Todd reminded her.

Years of studying the condition helped Todd understand a lot of things about it. Researching actual articles, reading blogs and Twitter threads made by autistic people of varying ages, learning about the various untrue yet still perpetuated stereotypes and stigmas autistic people face, going to conferences and seminars held by specialists—both autistic and neurotypical—it was a lot to take in. But for Todd, if it meant understanding Mary, her needs, her sensitivities, managing and respecting her stims, and helping her live the best life possible, he would gladly do it all again ten times over. There was one indisputable fact that every single one of them empathized; that Autism was not a disease.

“It doesn’t cause people to just turn violent on a dime. It doesn’t erase someone’s individuality. It doesn’t steal a person’s whole personality like a robber robs a bank,” Todd told her, leaning way into her personal bubble as he did so. “When are you going to stop this whole charade?”

Dana’s face contorted into a snarl as she backed away. “I don’t have to stand here and listen to this!” She almost bolted for the front door, but Todd grabbed her arm.

“Don’t you dare go running off on us again!” Todd’s tight grasp was barely holding Dana back. “We need to talk about this! We need to actually resolve this!”

“I don’t need to do anything!” Dana shouted. “I’m sick of everyone making me out to be the villain when I’m trying to save us all from ruin!!”

Finally, she wriggled out from Todd’s grasp and sprinted out the front door. Todd tried to go after her, but by the time he made it out onto the sidewalk, Dana was already back in the car. As soon as he got close, Dana’s car pulled out of the driveway and sped up the street, the tires making a deafeningly high pitched screech as it disappeared.

Just like that, Dana was gone. Where, Todd didn’t know, nor did he want to know. At this point, all his energy had been sapped right out of him, leaving him completely and utterly exhausted. He was only able to muster enough to drag himself back into the house and shut the door behind him. He knew confronting Dana would result in something like this happening, but he was just so tired of all the secrets. All the lies. All the tension and anguish. He couldn’t let this problem fester for another minute longer. If Dana had just accepted or acknowledged her own culpability in all of this…and yet she still held fast to all that Dr. Goldman and whatever garbage those Autism Speaks videos told her.

What was it going to take to make her see the truth? To see all the pain that she caused her own daughter? Pain that Mary never should have experienced to begin with. None of what Mary went through would have happened if Dana had just stopped and used her head. If she hadn’t let her mind be convinced by nothing but worst case scenarios. Papers rustled when Todd slumped on the living room couch. Reagan gathered them up, even the ones that fell to the floor, her eyes puffy and bleary from crying. Todd could only sigh. Reagan didn’t deserve to see and hear all that, or even get involved. She had better things to do. She didn’t need to see her family falling apart.

Wait…

Assuming Mary was still out there, or even eventually found…Todd’s eyes widened at the realization that struck him like a lightning bolt. If Mary were to come back, she’d be thrown into a maelstrom of conflict. For all Mary knew, every day would be full of tension, arguments, screaming, or Dana trying to do God knows what to her. Probably no different than how her life has been previously.

If she were to come back…would Mary even be happy, coming back to a mother that didn’t care about her? To the possibility of getting sterilized? Knowing Dana, she’d obviously try to go through with it against everyone’s wishes, even Mary’s. She had done so with ABA. What would stop Dana from following through with her plans of sterilization, or the chelation therapy, or…what else? More than that…for all he knew, Mary might come back to a broken family and blame herself for their conflict, even when she hadn’t done anything.

“Dad?”

Reagan’s small voice pulled him back to reality.

“Sorry, Reg. Sorry about…all this…”

Yet another silence.

“I’ll order in tonight. You’d best go do your homework.”

Without another word, Reagan went back to the dining room to gather the rest of the papers before going to her room. Todd ran a hand through his damp hair. He hadn’t realized he had been sweating, and it was still October. This was just too much to take. But he knew this much: Dana couldn’t continue this crusade. All it was doing was hurting not just Mary, but everyone else in the family. God only knew what would happen if Mary were to come home, since Dana was still refusing to see the error of her ways. Mary needed people who were there for her. Who loved her for who she was, family or not. Who loved her and wouldn’t try to mold her into something she wasn’t.

Come to think of it…

There were a few people he could confide in about this.

“Wooow!” Once again, Mary found herself in awe when the door to the next train car opened.

A pure white world of snow spread out before the trio. The sky was marred by thick clouds, but sunlight still managed to peek through, illuminating the winter wonderland. The snow glistened under the sun’s rays, a pure white blanket reaching far into the horizon that would remain for God knows how long. The coat of snow was so thick that there wasn’t a single blade of grass in sight. Tiny snowflakes fluttered down from the sky, dancing in the air. Some thick fur trees dotted the snowy landscape, along with some thin, stick-like trees that had been stripped bare of their leaves. Mary could even see some snowmen in varying sizes further ahead.

“It’s a snowy train car!” Mary wasted no time bounding onto the white landscape, the snow crunching beneath her shoes. But as soon as her shoes made contact, some of the snow grazed against her pant legs, immediately dampening them. “Brrr!” Mary shivered. “So cold!” It didn’t help that her shoes, while fairly sturdy, weren’t made for thick snow, so the material her sneakers were made of grew damp straight away.

“So this is what snow looks like!” Vic leaped off Blanca’s head and scuttled across the snow covered ground. “Wow, it really is cold! Just like the books said!” He exclaimed, just as in awe of the new landscape as Mary was.

“What a beautiful place,” Blanca mused to herself as the trio walked further in.

“Ooh! Ooh! I wanna make a snowman!” Mary kneeled down and used both hands to bundle some snow into a sphere. Once it was in a perfect circle, she began pushing it against the snow and walking around to watch it expand.

Blanca smiled as she walked closer to Mary. “Mind if I assist you? I can help you make a big one.”

“Sure!” Mary beamed, welcoming her friend’s help without hesitation.

The two of them rolled one snowball into a sphere so big, it reached Mary’s neck in terms of its height. Once that portion was finished, human and sentient marshmallow rolled the next snowball, making it just the size of Mary’s head. Both Blanca and Mary lifted it and put it right on top of the bigger snow mound. Mary stopped and put a hand on her chin.

“I wonder if there’s any rocks around?” Mary asked out loud. “It needs eyes and a mouth…” She scanned the immediate area for anything that was around. So far, all she saw was nothing but snow. Maybe there was stuff under it? Mary knelt down and used both hands to dig into the snow, even though the cold bit at her sensitive skin like an army of needles. But she persisted and managed to unearth some rocks in varying sizes. She found two that were about the same size as golf balls, running over to the snow man and sticking them right on its head.

“Alrighty! Found a pair of eyes! Now all we need is a mouth!” Mary knelt down once more and began gathering more rocks. This time, she settled on pebbles, gathering enough that they took up her whole palm of her left hand. Once she gathered enough, she gingerly walked back to the snowman and began putting pebbles on it one by one. Eventually, the pebbles formed a semicircle, giving the impression of a smile gracing the snowman’s face.

“All done!” Mary announced with gusto, putting both fists on her hips and flashing a proud grin.

Blanca eyed the snowman with a fond gaze, humming thoughtfully to herself before speaking. “How lovely. If I didn’t know any better, I might have assumed it was a denizen from the Sweets Car,” Blanca was quick to compliment Mary’s hard work.

“I wish I could give it a scarf, a carrot nose, or a hat, though. But we don’t have any of those,” Mary tilted her head, lamenting the things she wished she could add onto her snowman. The vegetables they received from another car had long since been eaten, so there weren’t any left that she could use.

Wait a minute…there was one thing. Mary set her backpack down, unzipped it, and rummaged through it, pulling out a red shirt with long, orange sleeves. It was a shirt she had owned for a long time, but rarely wore it because the sleeves had gotten tighter as of recently, making her arms feel like they were being squeezed and suffocated. She had grabbed it in the dark when she first ran away, without realizing it was one she didn’t like wearing anymore. Now she knew exactly what she wanted to do with it. Shirt in hand, Mary walked behind the snowman and wrapped the sleeves around the front of it, tying them into a knot, with the rest of the shirt forming a cape.

“There! Now it’s absolutely perfect!” Mary proclaimed. “I call him Frosty the Superhero Snowman!”

Blanca flashed another grin. “Now he looks even better than before.”

A gust of frigid wind blew past, and Mary shivered. In that instant, she remembered she had brought a coat with her. She set her backpack down and rummaged through her bag, hoping she still had her coat. Once her hands grasped the familiar fabric, she pulled out a thick, dark brown coat that reached down to her knees and flung it over herself. Immediately, the icy bite of the snowy air didn’t sting as much when she zipped her coat up. Although her cheeks and ears stung, already she felt better, more protected and insulated.

“I wish I brought my ear muffs,” Mary mused to herself. Then again, how could she have known beforehand that she’d wind up in a car full of snow? It wasn’t like the train told her which car she’d find herself in every time.

Vic returned to the duo, his fur slightly damp from scuttling through the snow. “This car looks like it goes pretty far. I can’t even see the exit from here.”

Although the dampness in her shoes and socks irritated her slightly, Mary didn’t mind the exit being far away. Her blue eyes marveled at the vast winter wonderland before her. She wondered if there’d be a castle made of ice somewhere. Just like with all the other train cars before this, the thrill of discovering something new here was electrifying to Mary. The three of them trudged through the thick snow, unsure of how far the exit would be, but in quiet awe of the scenery around them. After a while, Vic crawled up Mary’s leg and back before settling into the fur-trimmed hoodie on her coat.

“Oooh, I like this,” Vic purred as he curled into a ball, savoring the warm fabric. “Hope you don’t mind me crashing in here, Mary.”

“Go ahead. I don’t mind,” Mary told him before something caught her eye. “Oh! Look!” She pointed to her right. “I see a frozen lake!”

Just twenty feet from where they walked was a vast expanse of flat ice. A large lake that had completely frozen over a period of time, with nary a scratch on its surface. Some trees dotted the area around it, along with some featureless snowmen about Mary’s size, none of which had any decorations.

“I bet we can go ice skating on it!” Mary exclaimed.

Immediately, Vic curled into a ball. “Nope! Not going anywhere near that! Nope! Nope nope nope!” The hamster voiced his displeasure right away, with absolutely no attempt at sugarcoating his statements whatsoever. “The possibility of falling into water that’s very likely below freezing and dying from frostbite or hypothermia is waaaaay too likely! Frozen lakes can have thin ice!”

Fair points. Mary herself wasn’t much of a swimmer, so she had no objection. Besides, she really didn’t want a repeat of what happened in the Venice Car. Better to listen to the expert on this one. Still, the scenery was beautiful. Quiet, for one. No sudden noises, no bright lights glaring in Mary’s eyes, nothing that made her flinch or curl into herself. Mary wasn’t a huge fan of the cold, but she definitely appreciated the respite that this snowy wonderland provided. It left room for her to sort things out in her mind. 

In all honesty, the revelations she learned through the memory extraction machine still weighed heavy on her soul. To think that all this time, her mother had convinced her that she was some perpetually naughty child who did nothing but cause trouble for everyone around her. Dana had always told her such. Why do you have to make everything so hard for me? Why can’t you just do what I tell you? Stop whining and get over it, you brat. Why can’t you be like everyone else? Why do I always have to deal with this every day? Her mother’s venomous words continued to echo in her mind, like a record player with no stop button. Mary’s hands came to life, flapping like a hummingbird’s wings in an attempt to push her mother’s voice out of her head. A short time ago, Mary believed her. In fact, part of her still believed it in a desperate attempt to ignore all that she saw in her memories. But seeing her memories outside her own body and perspective made everything so much clearer. She had seen things she hadn’t seen before, things she didn’t even remember and wasn’t even awake for. She saw sides to her parents that she thought she knew well, but didn’t.

Mary’s hunch had been right all along. She wasn’t just some bad girl like her mother portrayed her to be on her blog. Mary knew she herself was no angel and had done plenty of stupid things in her life. But it was normal for kids to make mistakes, right? Her father told her so many times. Even adults made mistakes. Some mistakes were accidental, and some mistakes were choices. Dana made the choice to blame Mary for all her problems and drag her to ABA against her will. Dana made the choice to listen to that Dr. Goldman over people who actually had Mary’s best interests at heart. Dana made the choice to continue letting her mother’s cruelty rule her life. Dana chose to let those doctors put her through those ridiculous exercises—pointing at colored cards, touching her nose when they told her to, yelling at her if she got so much as a single thing wrong no matter how asinine, enforcing quiet hands, and so on for three years straight. Mary didn’t make Dana do anything. Still…it was like the world had been thrown off its axis. Mothers were supposed to love their kids, right? Did she even love Mary at all?

“Are you alright, Mary?”

Blanca’s sweet voice pulled Mary out of her reverie. As Mary came back to reality, she looked up at her concerned marshmallow friend, whose gaze was full of both concern and affection. Blanca, whose warmth, kindness, patience, and understanding made Mary feel truly safe. Blanca, who always went out of her way to support Mary without overdoing it, listened to her and respected her boundaries and wishes, always making Mary feel like her opinions, wishes, and thoughts actually mattered.

Squeezing the edge of her sleeves with her fingers, Mary let out a sigh. “I don’t know. My brain’s all scrambled up, I guess. I guess I’m still trying to…what’s the word?”

“Process everything that you saw?” Blanca finished her sentence for her.

Process. A truly perfect word for what Mary was thinking right now. “Yeah. That. I learned so much from looking into my memories, but I don’t feel like it’s all really…sunk in yet. There was so much that I missed or didn’t see or…I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel or how.”

The two of them stopped in their tracks, with Blanca shrinking down to put herself at Mary’s level. “There’s nothing wrong with that,” Blanca reassured, offering her a smile, keeping her tone gentle and unwavering. “You went through some very traumatic experiences, and you didn’t have any choice in the matter. They made things a lot more difficult for you than they usually are. You’ve spent a good portion of your life being judged and controlled by people who were supposed to help you but didn’t, hurt you under false pretense, or wouldn’t let you express yourself in ways that made you happy. It’s only natural to have a lot of conflicting feelings about it and not be able to understand everything just yet.”

Leave it to Blanca to always know what to say. Mary appreciated that about her. The marshmallow always seemed to know how to put Mary’s scrambled thoughts and feelings into words, better than she herself could, and never in a way that seemed insulting, dismissive, or demeaning. A warm, feathery feeling lurched inside Mary, alleviating the tension in her being slightly.

“I’d be lying if I said I have neat, easy answers for you. When you’ve lived as long as I have, you learn that reality doesn’t come with satisfying answers that make everything clearer, easier to handle, right away. Sometimes, sorting out your feelings can take time. Lots of it. Probably as you grow up and become an adult, and that’s okay. There’s stuff you simply can’t get over easily, that you’ll have to work on again and again and again.”

Mary pressed her lips together. She figured as much. As much as seeing her memories and her mother’s actions made things a lot clearer, there were still so many things that left more questions than answers. There was just so much to untangle.

“But I meant everything I said before, Mary,” Blanca affirmed. “Your mother is wrong about you, and she shouldn’t use you as a scapegoat for her own issues.”

“What’s a scapegoat?”

“A person or a group made to bear the blame for others or to suffer in their place,” Blanca explained. “She’s trying to make her own issues out to be your fault, even when you realistically have done nothing to cause them, nor could you possibly have done so, instead of trying to find healthy ways to deal with them.”

Based on what Mary saw Dana go through with her own mother, it wasn’t much of a surprise that she turned out the way she did. Plus, the fact that Irene went so far as to stalk Dana across several states and drag her back under her thumb probably convinced Dana that it was impossible to escape her mother’s controlling ways. That maybe it was better to just comply, be obedient, and strive for an impossible ideal than to escape and find her own happiness. Still, something about the whole thing didn’t make sense.

“I get Mom has issues with Grandma. She shouldn’t have said those mean things to her,” Mary pushed the words out tersely. “But…does that really make it right for her to do the same things to me?”

Blanca grimly shook her head. “No. It doesn’t, and that’s something else to take into consideration. No matter how bad someone’s life may have been, it’s ultimately up to them if they want to put in the effort to make things better for themselves or just remain stagnant and not try to change things. Or if they continually use it as an excuse to hurt others. Let me put it this way: Let’s say you fell into a hole, and you can’t get out. Someone throws you a rope, and you have two choices with it: You can either climb the rope and get yourself free, or you use it to hang yourself.”

Mary knew what hanging oneself meant. She had seen a scene from a movie showing a character hanging from a noose. The character wound up dying, and although Mary understood that the movie was a fictional creation, she knew that real life people had done it as well. People died if they hung themselves with a rope, especially if they didn’t get help right away. That was how she learned what suicide was. One aspect of it, that is. Because of this, she immediately understood Blanca’s analogy.

“Is it kind of like how Vic decided to leave the Hamster Car and travel with us instead of staying there and putting up with the other hamsters being mean to him?” Mary asked.

The marshmallow gave an affirming nod. “Exactly. He made the choice to pursue a chance at happiness rather than stay in a place that made him miserable. Or as he once said to me once, the other hamsters can sit in the mud all they want, but they don’t get to drag him down with them.”

A chuckle slipped past Mary’s lips. Now that was an apt analogy if she ever heard one. She made a mental note to put it in the back of her mind in the event that a situation came up where she could say it. It also helped Mary make some sense of what Dana did. Dana felt she was trapped in the mud, but instead of trying to get out, she wanted to drag everyone into it with her, Mary especially.

“Maaan. Mary, your hoodie is, like, the best,” Vic’s voice interrupted their conversation. “It’s even warmer than one of my scarves! I’d totally live here if you’d let me.”

The statement was so out of the left field that both Blanca and Mary broke into laughter, which helped to ease the tension brought out by their earlier conversation. As far as the two of them were concerned, the levity was very much needed. Upon some brief reflection, Mary concluded that Blanca was right. There was no need for Mary to try and untangle her complicated feelings and thoughts about what she saw in her memories right away. Just standing around letting her mind go in circles wasn’t going to get her anywhere. For now, maybe it was better to take her mind off it for a while. She might still need some time for it all to settle before she could try untangling it all.

Something in the distance caught Mary’s attention, pulling her away from the thoughts she had about her mother. “Ooh! I see a snowman family!”

A trio of snowmen came into view, and Mary raced right over to them. One of them had a brown cowboy hat on its head, and one of them had a striped pink and purple scarf wrapped around its neck. Interestingly, the third snowman didn’t have a head.

“Awww, the poor snowman doesn’t have a head,” Mary immediately felt a pang of sympathy for the headless snowman before putting both hands on her hips. “No snowman should ever be headless!” She edicted, like a speaker at a conference, her voice brimming with confidence. “I’m gonna fix this problem!”

Mary immediately knelt down to gather up some snow. Vic leaped out of her hoodie and onto the ground, examining the snowmen from a lower angle. But as he walked, something in his peripheral vision caught his attention. He scuttled behind the snowmen to find a…pile of trash. Discarded popcorn bags, empty soda cans, a ripped bag of potato chips—also empty—and other garbage. A wooden sign stood lopsided on the pile, reading One-One’s Secret Stash . Vic could only scrutinize the trash pile with a raised eyebrow.

“Who in their right mind thought collecting all this stuff was a good idea?” Vic asked no one in particular. His nose caught the putrid scent of mold. Vic immediately recoiled, his face contorting in disgust as he backed away at least five steps. “Ugh! Somebody needs to clean this out! But I doubt there’s a trash can around here, now is there?” Vic covered his nose with both paws.

Once he circled back towards the duo, Mary had finished balling some snow into a sphere. She put it right on top of the headless snowman’s body before kneeling down to find some rocks. Sure enough, she found plenty of them, along with, of all things, a stray carrot. Mary wasted no time sticking the carrot in the snowman’s head, having it serve as a nose, along with two big rocks for eyes, and a semicircle of smaller rocks serving as a mouth.

“Yay! Now this snowman is no longer headless!” Mary cheered, but found herself lost in thought afterward. “It’s still missing something, though…”

Scanning the other two snowmen, Mary realized what was missing. This snowman didn’t have a little decoration like the other two did. Something to make it stand out from the other two. Mary wondered if she had something she could stick on it like she did with the snowman she herself made. Her hand fiddled with the end of one of her braids…and the fabric of her bow pulled her out of her thoughts. It was here that Mary remembered. She lost one of her ribbons when she got on the train, and the one she still had—with its pink fabric and white lace trim—was missing its other half. Mary slowly pulled it off her braid, taking it into her hand and looking up at the now complete snowman.

Well, almost complete. Mary pressed her lips together as she stuck the lace ribbon on the side of the snowman’s head.

“There. Now it's perfect.”

“Isn’t that one of your favorite ribbons, though?” Vic asked. “You don’t need to get rid of something that’s precious to you.”

“I know,” Mary muttered. “But I lost the other one it came with when I got on the train. I think maybe this’ll be a nice new home for it. Besides, I have plenty of other ones at home.”

Reagan had bought those lace ribbons for her once for her birthday. Mary remembered squealing with delight when she received them, jumping up and down, even as her mother admonished her for not saying thank you right away—Which Mary did as soon as she got her overwhelming happiness out of her system—and “making a fuss.” She even saw flashes of that time when she was going through them via the extraction machine. Including the memory before that—asking her mother to buy new ribbons, and Dana saying she’d get them but only if she stopped flapping her hands and bouncing her legs. Forever. Mary remembered how horrible she felt upon hearing her mother’s answer, that she wasn’t allowed to have nice things unless she stopped doing the things that made her happy. Forever. As far as Dana was concerned, Mary’s stims were unacceptable, something to be stamped out. Like ABA attempting to do so wasn’t enough. So in a way, the ribbons were…bittersweet. But now that she saw those memories, the bitterness seemed to hold more weight than the sweet memories.

At least here, the pink lace-trimmed bow wouldn’t have those memories associated with it. Where was the harm in parting with something she no longer needed? Mary shook her head. No! She was not going to let this bring her mood down. Her mother wasn’t here, so there was no need for Mary to feel like she was under a microscope. And she knew a great way to further take her mind off things.

“I just realized something!” Mary exclaimed, running to an empty spot and gathering some snow. “We can’t go through a snowy car without partaking in one of winter’s most important traditions!”

Vic raised a quizzical eyebrow. “And what tradition might that be?”

Mary flashed a mischievous smirk. “A snowball fiiiiight!” Without hesitation, Mary threw a snowball, and it smacked Blanca right in the face upon contact. Thankfully, Blanca didn’t seem too bothered by the snowy onslaught. She simply smiled and sprouted two arms and hands, rolling some snow into a ball.

“I’ve always wondered what a snowball fight was like. Take this!” Blanca flashed her own smirk as she threw a snowball right back at Mary. The girl was quick to dodge, leaping forward and running further down the snowy landscape, with Vic dashing alongside her.

Blanca made three more snowballs, one of which managed to strike Mary on the back. The girl jolted as it made contact, but she was quick to roll up a few more snowballs and fire some back. Only one of them managed to hit Blanca on her abdomen. The trio found themselves standing underneath a particularly large fir tree, lobbing snowballs at one another. One of Blanca’s snowballs managed to strike Vic so hard that it knocked him to the ground.

“Oh! Vic!” Mary kneeled down and dug Vic out of the snow. “You okay?”

Vic made a motor-boating noise as he shook the snow off his fur before putting both paws on his hips. “Ha! I’m made of tougher stuff! This is nothin’!”

“Is that so?” Mary smirked once again as she dug her hand into some snow and threw it right in Vic’s face, laughing as she did so.

Vic playfully fumed. “Oh, you’re asking for it now, Mary Summers! You’ve just declared war!” He shouted, balling some snow into a pitifully tiny snowball. The hamster threw it right at Mary, who simply moved to the side, dodging it with ease. But victory came by proxy, as a snowball hit Mary right in the face by way of Blanca.

“Eeep! Cooold!” Mary shivered, using both arms to wipe the snow off her face.

Just then, a toothy smile spread across Vic’s face. Mary could tell he was planning some kind of playful retaliation. Vic looked up at the fir tree, scuttled towards the base of it, and climbed right up to one of the branches. “Hey, Blanca! See if you can knock me out from here! Bet you can’t hit meeee!” Vic cried out.

Undeterred by her companion’s playful taunting, Blanca silently accepted his challenge. She rolled some snow into a ball…but didn’t stop at one as big as her hands. Instead, she rolled more snow than usual, making it into a ball as big as Mary herself. Vic immediately shivered, and his face blanched, immediately regretting baiting Blanca into trying to get back at him. With a polite smile on her face, Blanca readied the snowball by holding it over her head.

“Get’em, Blanca! Put that naughty hamster in his place!” Mary cheered.

“Here I go, Vic!” Blanca warned him before throwing her creation.

The snowball struck the branch right as Vic scuttled down the tree. The force of the impact shook the branch wildly, which was to be expected, since Blanca threw it so hard. What they didn’t expect was to hear a high pitched shriek shortly afterward. A figure draped in red fell from the branch and onto the tiny snowbank at the base of the tree. Mary could make out a pair of legs wearing brown combat boots. Was that…a person?

“Someone fell out!” Mary exclaimed.

Vic brushed some snow out of his fur as he examined the figure in the snowbank. “Huh. Sure didn’t expect that.”

Mary and Blanca came rushing over. Right as they stopped at the snowbank, the person in question sat right up. It was a woman in her late teens, with wild hair dyed a deep plum purple with pink streaks on both sides. Her red hoodie had powdery dusts of snow coating it, with her ripped jeans getting damp from the snowbank. The girl let out a groan as she put a hand to her forehead, grimacing like she was in pain. Mary could see a green blur on the woman’s hand, even with her forehead covering her palm. Was she a passenger?

“Are you alright, Miss?” Blanca inquired with concern.

The girl continued to rub her forehead with one hand, shouting at the top of her lungs, “Dammit, Julius!! You’re so annoying! Did you just throw a pillow at—?!” She immediately swiveled towards Mary, her red-eyed gaze bearing into her.

The intensity of the girl’s angry stare made Mary wince and take two steps back. Mary could just feel the anger emanating from her being. Thankfully, the teenage girl’s expression softened as she got a better look at Mary. Her eyebrows shot up, her eyes turning more confused than angry, and her teeth unclenched.

“Wait…you’re not my brother,” The girl noted.

Mary made a pouting face. This older girl seriously mistook Mary for a boy? She couldn’t help but feel offended, her mind latching onto that particular detail. “Well, duh! I have long hair and I’m wearing a dress!” Mary pointed out, raising her voice as she used both hands to hold up her braids. “And I don’t sound anything like a boy!” She exclaimed fervently, hoping the teenager got the hint this time.

“Ugh…” The older girl rubbed her temples with both sets of fingers this time. “This stupid headache is screwing with me. Dear lord…” She muttered as she stood up from the snowbank, bending down to wipe some snow off her legs before doing the same with her shoulders. But as soon as she finished, she stared right at Blanca and Mary. “Did one of you knock me out of this tree?” She got straight to interrogating them, pointing at the tree she fell out from.

Blanca bent over in an apologetic bow. “That was my fault, and I’m terribly sorry. I was trying to throw a snowball at Vic, and it was only meant in good fun. I had no idea anyone was in there,” Blanca told her. “Rest assured, it wasn’t on purpose. I trust you’re not hurt?”

The teenager looked all around herself, checking for any injuries. As far as anyone could tell, there wasn’t a scratch on her. The teenager seemed to notice as well. “Nope. I gotta say, you hit me pretty hard if you’re able to knock me off the branch like that. Wait,” The teenager said before bending down to look for something. “Oh, good! There it is!” She pulled out a large, black backpack that was slightly bigger than both the yellow one Vic had and Mary’s light blue one.

“What’s your name, Miss?” Mary asked, wasting no time introducing everyone. “I’m Mary! These are Blanca the marshmallow and Vic the hamster! Are you stuck on the train, too?”

When was the last time Mary saw other passengers? Looking back through her memories, the last time she saw humans was back in the Black Market Car. She remembered trying to befriend a boy, but his mother pulled him away, wary of Mary, who to them was a stranger. That had been weeks ago. What were the odds of finding another person in the Infinity Train? They had to be astronomical, yet Mary and her friends found another person.

The older girl slipped her backpack on before introducing herself. “Man, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen any people. Think you’re the first one I’ve seen in weeks. The name’s Nora McDonald.”

Nora…a light bulb flashed in Mary’s brain, and she gasped when she realized where she heard the name before. “Oh! I’ve seen your face before! You were on TV!” Mary proclaimed, pointing right at Nora with her index finger. “You went missing!”

Nora flashed a cheeky grin. “I’m on TV, huh? Makes me wish there was a TV here on this train so I could see it. But I wonder if it’d have the same channels?” Nora mused to herself.

Vic crawled up Blanca’s back and settled onto her head before making conversation with Nora. “If you don’t mind me asking, how’d you end up on the train?” Vic asked.

The older girl shrugged at the question, but answered swiftly. “Not much I can tell you. Was just hanging around the woods doing my thing, then this glowing green train pops out of nowhere,” Nora admitted. “I wasn’t planning on sticking around my neck of the woods, so I decided to hop on. The display board said it’d take me to the Appalachian Mountains, but…well, these clearly aren’t the mountains,” Nora quipped, gesturing at the snowy environment around them.

Clearly, indeed. No mountains as far as the eye could see. Just trees and snowmen, along with lots of snow. That much was obvious. Still, Mary’s body buzzed with renewed energy. Finally, after such a long time, she encountered another person! An actual person from her own world, not a denizen! Dared she hope that they could be friends? Train companions, even? Nora looked pretty cool with her wild dyed hair and she seemed to give off a strong “don’t mess with me” vibe, but in a good way. Sure, her earlier yelling hurt Mary’s ears, but that didn’t last very long.

“Are you here all by yourself, Nora?” Vic asked.

“Pretty much, not like I care,” Nora replied with a sardonic chuckle. “I’ve had to deal with some pretty annoying people where I’m from, and honestly? Coming here is the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Mary wondered if Nora was going through a similar situation to her own. Or maybe she went through something else that was just as bad. She didn’t know, and didn’t want to ask due to not wanting to be rude or nosy. But surely Nora had to feel somewhat lonely, being on a gigantic train all by herself. Mary didn’t know what she’d do if she didn’t have Vic and Blanca with her. The two of them had already done so much for her in several weeks than her own mother did throughout her entire life.

As these thoughts lingered in Mary’s mind, Nora bent down and scrutinized the girl. Her sudden gaze made Mary flinch, and she backed away a bit, as Nora was getting a little too close for comfort. “Damn, you’re young. Had no idea the train picked up super little kids, too.”

“I’m nine years old!” Mary proclaimed. “How old are you, Nora?”

“Seventeen as of last month.”

“Oooh. So you’re a big kid! You’re older than my big sister!”

Nora flashed a cheeky smirk. “Next year, I’ll be eighteen, which’ll make me a real, certified adult!” She put a hand on her hip in a show of confidence.

“Do you have a train number on your hand, too?” Mary asked, foisting her hand out for Nora to see. “Here’s mine!”

Nora raised an eyebrow as she displayed her palm. Her number was 357. Vic stifled a low gasp, as did Blanca.

“Huh. So it isn’t just me, then,” Nora grunted.

If that was how Nora reacted to seeing another passenger, complete with a glowing number on their palm, Mary could only assume that she hadn’t seen any other person on the train before now. The train was probably so big and so long, with so many train cars, that it was possible for some passengers to never ever see each other. Even if Nora dismissed the idea of being lonely, surely she had to have felt that way at some point while she was on the train. Mary’s heart went out to the teenager as the thought crossed her mind. Dared she ask if Nora would like to accompany them? Mary wanted to so badly, but wasn’t sure if she should or not.

Good thing she wound up not having to do so, as Blanca spoke before Mary had the chance to speak. “You know, Nora, if you don’t have any particular plans, you’re more than welcome to accompany us if you’d like.”

Nora’s jaw fell agape, as did Vic’s.

“If you don’t want to, that’s perfectly alright,” Blanca continued on. “But there’s safety in numbers, and there are plenty of train cars that are fraught with danger. You can never be too careful, and it’ll be easier to face whatever adversaries we encounter in the various train cars.”

Reasonable points, Mary thought. But as Mary scrutinized Nora, her initial excitement over meeting another passenger began to waver. Nora gave off the air of a girl who probably considered people like Mary beneath her. Uncool, or losers, probably. Why would Nora even want anything to do with Mary, a giant marshmallow, and a talking hamster? Considering she mentioned she struck out all by herself for all this time, Nora wasn’t really under any obligation to accompany them. Plus, at this point in time, Nora was still a stranger. Maybe she’d be nice, or maybe she’d secretly be mean, and Mary couldn’t exactly just ask Nora what kind of person she was. That wasn’t how life worked. Mary learned that the hard way.

Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Mary’s fists began to tremble as she stared down at her wet shoes.

“Sure. Don’t see why not.”

What? She said yes? Mary’s head jerked upward, her blue eyes wide from the shock. Nora actually said yes?

“As much as I don’t like being around people much, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have some company,” Nora replied. “It’s been boring talking to nobody but myself lately.”

What luck! Mary couldn’t hold back a squeal as she jumped up and down with glee, flapping her hands as she did so. “Yay yay yay! We made a new friend!”

Nora gave a scoff. “Just try not to get in my way. Okay? And don’t expect me to be your full-time babysitter, either.”

Just hearing those statements made Mary stop cheering and jumping? What did Nora mean by getting in her way? Did she mean walking in front of her, or just staying out of her personal space? Mary thought about asking but decided against it, not wanting to be nosy or unintentionally annoy her into changing her mind. For now, Mary was just happy to have made a new friend, even if said friend was several years older than her. With this, the trio was now a quartet.

Essences of sunset began to creep into the thick clouds. Splashes of pink and orange smeared across the clouds like strokes of paint from an artist’s brush. The four of them made their way through the vast snowy expanse. Mary’s shoes grew even more damp, and she could feel it in her socks as well. Every footprint she made in the snow felt like her feet were getting covered in slime, and just the feeling was enough to make her face contort in irritation. She hoped the exit wouldn’t be too much farther. Mary couldn’t wait to take her socks off and swap them out for clean ones. It was a good thing she packed a few extra socks when she first ran away.

Finally, the quartet saw a familiar red door with gold handles, situated right at the bottom of the largest snowman they had ever seen. Mary couldn’t help but find herself in awe of the massive creation, her blue eyes shining like stars. The giant snowman had a black top hat, a big smiley face made from stones and a curved branch, large tree branches serving as arms, a long red scarf around its neck, and three large rocks going vertically down its chest.

“Ooooh! This is the biggest snowman ever! I wonder who made this?” Mary exclaimed.

“I know I could never make something like this even if I tried,” Nora quipped.

“Well, we finally found the exit, so that’s what counts,” Blanca noted as Mary turned the handles.

Vic followed behind the trio, but stopped when he noticed the footprints that Nora left. He looked down at the footprint, seeing a distinct symbol on the sole. It looked like a cross, but with the ends bent at 90 degree angles.

“What in the world…?” Something about the symbol seemed…off. Where had he seen it before? He knew he saw something similar to this, but couldn’t place it.

“Hey Vic!” Mary’s voice pulled him out of his reverie. “Aren’t you coming? We can rest out here for a bit!”

“Oh! Coming!” Vic decided it wasn’t worth making a fuss over and left the snowy train car behind.

But the symbol still weighed on his mind even as he left. More than that, though, something about Nora didn’t quite sit well with him. What exactly, he didn’t know.

Chapter Text

The red doors of a car burst right open, and Mary, Nora, Blanca, and Vic tumbled right out, all landing face first on the titanium floor in a big heap. All four of them stopped to catch their breath as the car door closed behind them, their foreheads beaded with fresh perspiration. Mary’s legs throbbed from the inside, her lungs burned with every breath she inhaled, and she really didn’t like that the sweat was making her bangs wet and sticky.

“Uuugh! So glad we’re finally out of that Volcano Car!” Mary cried out in a hoarse voice. “I hate that car!”

Vic took a minute to use his paws to smooth out his fur. “First we get attacked by cowboy bugs in a desert and almost thrown in jail, then we almost get squished by a giant rolling boulder, and just now we managed to escape an active volcano and not get burned to death by lava!” He groaned. “I seriously hope this’ll be the last of the dangerous cars for a while.”

“You’re telling me,” Nora huffed as she adjusted the zipper on her hoodie. “Though I thought that temple car was pretty fun.”

Mary’s face contorted into an angry glare. “You think a temple car full of traps, skeletons, and giant balls that’ll squish you to death is fun?!” She exclaimed. How Nora could find something like that fun, Mary had no idea, nor did she want to. Nora probably had a different image of fun than what Mary had in mind.

Since Nora had joined their group, the quartet wound up going through some dangerous train cars. One was a desert car populated by cowboy bugs, several of which arrested them. For what charge, the bugs wouldn’t say. Blanca had managed to talk them down, and they let the quartet exit, though only after the quartet was forced to spend the night in jail. Next, they found themselves in an ancient temple rigged with all manner of traps, like spiky floors, walls that shot arrows at them, and the aforementioned giant rolling boulder. Finally, they had just managed to escape a car that was little more than an active volcano spewing lava. The lava would have swallowed them whole had Blanca not managed to turn into a giant bird and carry them to safety.

Now that they were out of danger, the quartet decided to sit down and take a break before heading to the next car. Mary’s feet throbbed, and she still had some leftover adrenaline in her system, so she rocked back and forth to push it out, along with any lingering fear that was still in her. Doing this helped take her mind off what had come before. The intense heat in both the air and the oncoming lava. The throbbing in her feet and legs, which slowly began to dissipate now that she was sitting. The thought of dying a horrible death by way of burning alive. At least now, she was out of that car. Gradually, her breathing slowed with every shift in movement. Good thing her mother wasn’t here to admonish her about it. In a way, she could still hear her mother’s voice in her head, scolding her for engaging in such “inappropriate behavior.”

Mary couldn’t help but scoff. It wasn’t like she was throwing things at people or destroying someone’s property. Her father told her that she was free to stim however she liked if it made her happy or calmed her down, as long as she wasn’t doing anything that could hurt someone, like the two things she just thought of. She looked over at Nora, who was taking off one of her boots, shaking it slightly. Probably to get some pebbles out. Mary could relate. She never liked the feeling of pebbles or sand getting in her shoes, especially if they jabbed at her skin. Maybe now was a good time to get to know her better. Mary ceased her rocking, but her legs still hurt, so she crawled over to Nora, who slid her boot back onto her foot.

“Hey, Nora. How’d you get your hair like that?” Mary asked.

“The color, you mean? I had a friend dye it for me,” Nora answered, fiddling with one of the pink streaks with her fingers. “The singer for one of my favorite bands has purple hair with pink streaks, and she just looks super cool, so I had to steal the look,” She stuck her lips out. “But Mom and Dad wouldn’t let me dye it, so I had to resort to extreme measures.”

Mary laid flat on the train platform, resting her chin on her hands as she listened to Nora. “My big sister knows a girl who has neon green hair.”

Nora let out a dramatic huff. “Ugh. Neon green? So not my color. No way.”

Before Mary could inquire further, something sticking to her leg pulled her out of her conversation. One of her pant legs was damp, as were parts of her dress. Probably from sweat, which was pretty likely since the group had just escaped from an active volcano. Mary really didn’t like the damp feeling against her skin and wished she could change into some clean clothes. But she didn’t want to do that in front of Nora and Vic. As much as she didn’t want to put up with the damp fabric rubbing against her, Mary figured she could change once they got to the next car, assuming it wasn’t going to be another dangerous one. For now, she just settled on pulling on the fabric of her pants to at the very least get the wet feeling off her skin.

A question popped into Mary’s mind: What time was it right now? Mary pulled out her cellphone to check. It was 6:34 PM. Something else caught her eye as well. The date was October 27th. Four days from now, it would be Halloween. Mary deflated, exhaling a big sigh as she frowned. Blanca was quick to notice and walked right up to her.

“Is something wrong, Mary?” Blanca inquired.

“A little bit,” Mary sat up with a frown. “I just realized it’ll be a month since I got on the train…and I’m gonna miss Halloween this year.”

“And that is…?”

Oh. Mary had completely forgotten. Blanca likely didn’t know what Halloween was. Then again, how could she? She was a giant talking marshmallow. For all she knew, denizens didn’t celebrate holidays. Mary would have to explain what Halloween was to her…which she was more than happy to do.

“Where I come from, at the end of October, we have this holiday called Halloween. It’s super fun!” Mary began, beaming. “I forget what it’s supposed to celebrate, but on Halloween, people dress up in costumes, walk around the neighborhood at night, and get candy from our friends and neighbors! We also carve pumpkins, light them up during the night, and sometimes the big kids will go around scaring people for fun! Like jumping out from the bushes and going ‘Boo!’ ” Mary raised both hands into the air, playfully baring her teeth like a wolf to show Blanca what the gesture looked like.

“Is it supposed to be scary?” Blanca asked.

“Yep! Sort of. People call it the scariest time of the year, but it’s also part of what makes it fun!”

Blanca flashed a grin. “Were you planning on dressing up for it?”

Mary shook her head in a vigorous nod. “Yep! One of Reagan’s friends from school made this really cute witch costume for me all by herself! I really wanted to wear it and show my friends how great it looks! Reagan even said Caitlin and Leo could go trick-or-treating with us! Halloween’s one of my favorite holidays!”

Halloween was always something that Mary looked forward to. How could she not? The idea of dressing up in a costume, going to people’s houses and getting all the candy she could ever want was every child’s dream come true. Any candy she didn’t like she always gave to her parents, sister, or friends. Mary never missed an opportunity to go trick-or-treating every year, especially once she got older and could accompany Reagan. Last year, she and Reagan had met up with Caitlin, Leo, and their parents to go trick-or-treating and had an absolutely wonderful time. Not even her mother’s neurotic worrying about whether Mary would actually behave or handle herself could put a damper on her happiness that day.

As happy as Mary was reminiscing about last year’s Halloween, her smile turned back into a frown when she looked at the date on her phone again. “But…I’m gonna miss Halloween this year because I’m on the train. I won’t get to wear the nice witch costume, or go trick-or-treating…” Only now did it hit her that she’d miss out on something she had been looking forward to for so long. As much as she liked being on the train, she had a feeling she wouldn’t be able to get back home before Halloween. She didn’t really expect to get home before Halloween, and she knew she couldn’t just hop off the train. But it was still disappointing to not be able to celebrate her favorite holiday.

Blanca could see the melancholy on Mary’s face, flashing her a sympathetic grin. “It’s sad to miss out on something you’re looking forward to,” Blanca softly reminded her. “But at this point, anything can happen. Your number might drop to zero before Halloween, maybe it won’t. Either one is a possibility. Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it just as we have everything else.”

In a way, Blanca’s soft yet confident tone was reassuring. That was another thing Mary loved about Blanca: She always acknowledged Mary’s fears, saying that whatever happens would be a possibility and that it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Her mother would have dismissed her worries, fears, and feelings, saying that Mary was worrying too much, that it wouldn’t happen, that everything would be fine, or claim Mary was making a big deal out of nothing.

“Besides, maybe Reagan can save you some Halloween candy for when you get home,” Blanca suggested.

Mary’s eyes shrunk. Why hadn’t she thought of that before? New zeal sprouted within her soul as she stood back on her feet. “Ooh, you’re right! I should ask Reagan to save me some candy!”

Nora scoffed, running a hand through her purple dyed locks. “Pfft. You little kids and your trick-or-treating. Maybe when you’re older, you and your friends can TP people’s houses. That’s the real fun stuff!” Nora retorted with a mischievous grin.

Mary raised an eyebrow when she looked in Nora’s direction. “You mean…throw toilet paper all over them?”

“What did you think I meant?” Nora’s tone was thick with condescension.

“Wait, people do that?” Vic piped up.

Mary remembered Reagan mentioning once that TPing someone’s house was considered a crime—specifically, vandalism, even if no property is actually being damaged. Plus, she was sure homeowners wouldn’t appreciate random people skulking around their houses at night, stepping on their plants, and throwing toilet paper all over them. Mary crossed her arms and turned away from Nora with a huff.

“That’s illegal,” Mary affirmed, her words firm and stone hard, hoping Nora got the message.

The teenager scoffed once more. “Fine, Little Miss Goody-Goody.”

After a few more minutes, Nora stood up. “Alright, I’m ready to get moving. How about you guys?”

Everyone else gathered their things and joined her, ready to venture into the next car. Vic crawled up Blanca’s body and stood on her head. After crossing the bridge, Nora was the one to open the door to the next car. When the door flew open, Mary gaped when she saw what lay before her. A vast canyon with rock outcroppings in a whole rainbow of colors spread out before them, with only a small river running through it. But more stunning were the forest’s inhabitants. The only denizens living in this fantastical forest were phoenixes. Some were the size of regular birds, like sparrows and parrots, while others far bigger than the quartet combined soared across the skies. Mary spotted a group of blue phoenixes flexing their wings.

“Ooooh! It’s so big!” Mary exclaimed, her blue eyes eagerly taking in the bizarre yet picturesque landscape. “And look at the pretty firebirds! Are those actual phoenixes? Like in the books and fairy tales?”

“Is that what they’re called?” Blanca asked. “I had no idea.”

Vic groaned, making no attempt to hide his contempt as soon as he saw the avians soaring past. “Oh great. More predators.”

Nora adjusted the straps on her backpack. “Man, this place looks huge. We’re probably gonna have to do a lot of walking.”

Based on how far into the horizon the canyon stretched, Mary was sure they wouldn’t be able to get through this car in just one day. Nora’s statement wound up being proven right. The quartet walked for what seemed to be miles. While the weather was pleasant—a crisp blue sky with a cool breeze—it was fairly bright, and Mary had to hold her arm just above her eyes, as the sun’s rays reflected off the outcroppings. Oftentimes right into her eyes, and the harsh light stung, making green circles dot her vision. Mary could feel sharp stones under her shoes, and while the material on said shoes didn’t break in any way, it still felt like her feet were getting jabbed at. It didn’t help that dust or dirt somehow always managed to get into her shoes.

Mary looked up, and she could see Blanca’s body hunching over, like a limp slinky. The marshmallow’s eyes were glued to the horizon, and her lips were pursed together in a frown. She wondered if the walk was getting hard on her, too.

“Blanca? You okay?” Mary asked.

The marshmallow flashed a reassuring smile, but Mary could tell it was forced. “Admittedly, this much exposure to sunlight is draining much of my energy. I’d like to transform, but after our escape from the volcano, I doubt I’ll be able to sustain my current form for a while once I do,” She explained.

So Mary wasn’t the only one getting tired.

Vic sniffed the air around him. “I gotta admit, I’m surprised none of those phoenixes have tried to attack us yet,” He pointed out. “Birds eat rodents, so one would think they’d be all over me by now. I’m practically a sitting duck.”

“Maybe they’re nice phoenixes who don’t eat rodents like other birds do?” Mary suggested.

Vic could only shrug, unsure of whether what Mary said was true. That being said, Mary did shoot a slight glare at him. Vic was safely on top of Blanca’s head, so he didn’t have to walk. He wasn’t tired like Mary and Blanca were. Nora walked ahead of them, her limbs moving with gusto. How in the world was she not tired yet? Mary wondered if it was because she was a teenager, with her legs being stronger and able to endure more than a preteen’s was capable of.

After another while, Mary’s legs began to throb more intensely than before. She continued to walk, but every step hurt worse than the last. “I’m tired…” Mary whimpered. “Can we stop and rest?”

Nora stopped in her tracks but eyed the trio behind her with an annoyed scowl. “No way! We’ve still got plenty of light! We’ll be closer to the exit if we keep going!” Nora shot back.

Blanca stopped as well, wrapping an arm around Mary to hold her close. Mary fell to her knees as she leaned against Blanca’s squishy body, appreciating the feeling of being off her feet, even for a fleeting moment.

“Nora, we must rest. Mary doesn’t have as much stamina as you do, and we’ve been walking for a long while,” Blanca explained to the teenager.

Nora was in no mood to listen. “Nuh-uh! She needs to quit whining and suck it up! We have to keep going!” Nora barked, showing no sympathy.

Mary couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Mary could barely walk anymore, with her lungs and legs burning, and Nora actually believed her wanting to rest made her a whiny brat? She wanted to explode. Nora had no right to push Mary harder than she was capable of! But her vocal chords had shut down, and she barely had any energy to catch her breath.

Thankfully, Vic wasn’t going to take this lying down. He hopped right off Blanca’s head and stood firm before the scowling teenager. “Are you insane?! You can’t expect Mary to be able to keep up with you all the time! She’s just a kid! You shouldn’t be pushing her past her limits just because you want to get out of here! Besides, it’s not like we’re in any rush to get anywhere!” Vic yelled. “God only knows how big this train car is! We may even have to spend a night or two here!”

For once, Nora fell silent. Her eyes darted around the area, like she was groping for something to say to argue Vic’s point. Mary buried her face in Blanca’s skin, guilt settling into her gut. Just looking at the scowl on Nora’s face made her feel like garbage. Maybe she really was just being a whiny brat and should just keep walking no matter how tired she was, like Nora said. But she wasn’t faking being tired. How could she? Her feet throbbed with every step she walked. Just because Nora didn’t feel tired didn’t mean everyone else wasn’t.

A sigh escaped Nora’s throat. “Alright. We’ll only rest for half an hour, then we keep walking. But we should probably find an empty cave to spend the night in.”

The relief was instant. The quartet sat down and rested for the allotted time Nora allowed. As far as Mary was concerned, half an hour was better than no time at all. Still, Mary couldn’t help but be a little annoyed. Why was Nora so intent on getting through this car without stopping, flat-out ignoring Mary’s distress? Mary knew she wasn’t pretending to be tired just to get on Nora’s nerves. She knew better than that. It wasn’t like Mary was some superhuman who could do anything and never get tired, so what was Nora’s problem? Or maybe Nora was right and that Mary needed to just suck it up and stop whining. She didn’t know which was right.

A tiny hand rested atop one of her fingers. Mary’s blue eyes flicked over to Vic, who had crawled off Blanca’s head and was standing right next to her hand, with one of his little paws on her finger. He gave her a silent, reassuring smile, and while Mary often had a hard time reading expressions, she knew for sure that Vic’s face was telling her that it was okay for her to need rest and to not take Nora’s griping to heart. She leaned down to whisper to him so Nora couldn’t hear what they were saying.

“Thanks for sticking up for me. I wanted to tell her all that myself, but I was too tired to talk.”

“I figured as much. But it’s okay to say that you’re not comfortable doing something you don’t want to do. It’s called asserting boundaries, and you shouldn’t push yourself past your limits just because somebody else wants you to.”

Her mind found itself flashing back to ABA. Doctors putting colored cards in front of her, telling her “Point blue. Point red.” Pointing at the colors. Over and over and over. The doctors telling her to touch her nose or arms, like her body wasn’t her own. Like it didn’t even belong to her. Again, over and over, with seemingly no end in sight. All day every day. Yelling at her or grabbing her when she said no, wanted to rest, or just move around if her legs got stiff. Forcing her face up to look at their eyes. Their angry, condescending eyes that looked at her as though she were some animal. Feeling her soul die just a little every single day.

Mary shook her head. No! This wasn’t ABA. This was different. Surely Nora wouldn’t do stuff like that to her. She was just a teenager. She had seen plenty of teenager movies where they acted like brats from time to time, so that was normal. Right? Besides, if things got bad, Blanca and Vic would be there for her. Vic himself proved it just now. They would actually listen to her and help her. Still, maybe Nora was just as tired as she was and was just mad about having to walk so much.

After a brief respite, the quartet returned to their trek through the canyon. When night fell, they managed to find an empty cave to sleep in for the night. Mary never slept in a cave before, and sleeping on a bumpy cave floor wasn’t exactly pleasant. The air got cold and she twisted and turned a lot. The pink blanket she had brought with her wasn’t thick enough to insulate her against the air, but she was grateful that the cave itself protected them against the wind. Eventually, everyone fell asleep.

As soon as the bell rang, children sprinted out of their classrooms, the hallways echoing with their delighted cheers. Mr. Bryant told his students to have a good day as he watched them leave the classroom with zest in their step. It wasn’t long before the classroom was silent, and he was alone with his thoughts as he proceeded to push some chairs back under some desks. Cleaning the classroom after the kids left was a habit Mr. Bryant had all throughout his years of teaching. It kept his mind off things. Plus, Halloween was just around the corner, and the kids had been hard at work making their own decorations and putting them up on the walls. Ghosts, witches, zombies, pumpkins, black cats, and all manner of ghoulish creatures made from construction paper covered the walls.

He did notice one paper made witch had fallen to the floor. Mr. Bryant bent down to pick it up. It was a regular looking witch with pale skin, green hair made from strips of trimmed down construction paper, black buttons serving as the eyes, a triangular black dress, and matching boots. In the witch’s left hand was what appeared to be a yellow broom made with a rectangular strip of paper serving as the stick, and a triangle serving as the fiber. Come to think of it…Mary had said she was going to dress as a witch when Halloween came around. At the beginning of the month, he had asked his students if they were going to dress up for Halloween just for fun and to take their minds off their schoolwork for a bit.

Caitlin had mentioned wanting to dress as a 1960s hippie. Leo said he wanted to dress up as Iron Man. Mary announced that she was going to dress as a witch, mentioning that a friend of her big sister’s was making a custom made witch costume for her. He remembered the radiant smile on her face when she told everyone her plans for Halloween. Since Halloween fell on a school day this week, Mr. Bryant had hoped to see the kids come to school in costume, Mary included. She had been looking forward to it so much, as did everyone else. But Halloween was four days away, and there was still no sign of Mary. For all he knew, she’d miss her favorite holiday.

The classroom still felt empty without her in it.

Some knocks at the door pulled Mr. Bryant out of his reverie. He looked up, seeing both Todd and Edith at the entrance.

“Hello there, you two. Come on in,” Mr. Bryant welcomed them right away, gesturing for them to sit down as he put the paper witch in a basket. “I was just doing some cleaning now that the kids left.”

Edith grinned as she marveled at the Halloween decorations on the walls. “Looks like the kids have been hard at work,” She noted, stopping when she noticed one particular sketch pinned to the bulletin board. It was a detailed drawing of a monstrous devil, with black wings, sharp claws, glowing gold eyes, and pointed teeth stained red with blood. “Oh, you actually let Greg put this up?”

Mr. Bryant chuckled. “I don’t see why not. It’s very well made, and it certainly evokes the Halloween spirit.”

Both Edith and Todd sat down at some desks, with Mr. Bryant following suit. “He’s a very good artist,” Todd told her. “I wish I had that kind of skill.”

As much as they would have liked to continue this friendly conversation, the three of them knew they didn’t come here for a nice chat. The air in the classroom grew heavy as the three of them sat in silence, unsure of how to begin. Todd cleared his throat, taking the initiative.

“So, umm…I don’t quite know how to start,” Todd stammered. “And to be honest…I don’t know who else I can talk to or rely on about this. There’s so much that’s happened in the past week alone, and...I just…”

Edith put a gentle hand on Todd’s. “Take your time. There’s no rush. We’re here to listen.”

Relieved by her reassurance, Todd took a minute to suck in a deep breath before exhaling. “I know my asking to meet with you two was rather…out of the blue. But I found out some…really disturbing things about the reason why Mary disappeared…and about Dana.”

Disturbing? The fact that Mary was gone was plenty disturbing in and of itself. But Mr. Bryant steeled himself as Todd began explaining what he learned in detail. Neither he nor Edith could ever hope to prepare themselves for what Todd told them. The two of them listened in stunned, wide-eyed, horrified silence as Todd told them everything, from what the police uncovered in their investigation to what Dana planned to do to Mary if she were to ever come home. Tears trickled out from Edith’s eyes as she stared down at the desk in her silence. Mr. Bryant could only squeeze his hands together, so tight that his knuckles turned white.

Only a few minutes after Todd finished, did Edith manage to find her voice again. “...Dana can’t be serious! I mean, sterilizing her own daughter against her will?! When Mary’s still too young to even consider having kids yet?!” Her voice came out as a hoarse screech, higher than she had intended. But neither man cared. “What kind of mother would even think of doing that?! And even going so far as to openly talk about it to complete strangers on the internet! Has she no consideration for what that could do to Mary’s reputation or future? Or even for Mary’s privacy or personal boundaries?!”

Todd shook his head grimly. “I told her the exact same thing, but she refused to listen. She was more concerned about how we were invading her privacy or ruining the only thing keeping her sane,” Todd wiggled his fingers as he made imaginary air quotes around that last sentence. “God, she’s so convinced that all of our problems are Mary’s fault somehow…I can’t get her to see reason!” He buried his face in his arms.

Edith wiped her tears using her arm, but her face was red from both sorrow and simmering anger. “You’re right to be angry. If someone tried to pull that on my kids, even my own family, I’d rip them a new one! This is just…beyond cruel. I can’t fathom why Dana would think that’s the best course of action.”

“This blog your wife made,” Mr. Bryant began. “Did the police inform you about it?”

Todd rubbed the bridge of his nose and raised his head before speaking again. “Actually…and this is going to sound weird, but…we only found out about it because Reagan received a text message. Presumably from Mary.”

A text message? Both Edith and Mr. Bryant exchanged perplexed expressions. “From Mary? How is that possible?” The teacher asked.

“Reagan received a text that the police confirmed came from Mary’s phone,” Todd explained. “At this point, we don’t know if it’s from Mary herself or from someone using her phone. They couldn’t find the signal’s location, though. Reagan’s sure that Mary sent it. Assuming Mary even sent the texts, she explicitly mentioned that seeing the blog was why she ran away. She even mentioned the specific entry, all the way down to the date and its contents.”

“Considering what you just told us, I can’t blame Mary for wanting to get the hell outta dodge,” Edith sneered, glaring down at an ink stain at the corner of the desk, pretending it was Dana.

Just thinking about Dana made Edith want to throw up. But hearing all this? Edith found herself wishing she hadn’t just slapped Dana in the face back when they met up at Schenley Park. Dana’s venomous words echoed in her brain once more, replaying no matter how much Edith wished that they’d stop.

“By accepting Lianna being autistic, you’re basically giving up on any hope of having any kind of normal life. Isn’t the whole point to make autistic children as indistinguishable from their peers as possible and to overcome it?”

“You can’t spend your whole life catering to your child’s every carnal desire. All you’re doing is promoting non-compliance, and you can’t imagine the embarrassment doing that could cause you.”

God, to think that woman had the gall to insult Lianna and make her out to be some out of control womanchild, acting like she was doing Edith a favor. To think this was the same woman who yelled at Edith for calling her out on how she treated Mary back during the Carnegie Science Center field trip. Edith couldn’t help but chuckle at the hypocrisy of it all. Dana was perfectly okay with telling people how to raise their kids even when it wasn’t any of her business, even outright insulting them, probably acting like they wouldn’t be able to understand what she was saying, but went absolutely rabid at the mere suggestion that she treat her own daughter better. What a complete joke! Edith didn’t want to deal with Dana for one more minute, but she could only imagine what Todd, Reagan, and Mary went through, putting up with her behavior every single day. The bags under Todd’s eyes said it all.

“There’s so much that Dana kept from me all these years,” Todd’s voice was on the verge of breaking. Mr. Bryant could see his eyes glazing over with new tears, and his heart broke at the piteous sight. “And I…I’m just so mad! I didn’t even notice any of this until it was too late! What’s worse is that…if Mary is found and brought back home, for all I know nothing will change! She’ll be thrown into this shitstorm that Dana whipped up, and there won’t be a damn thing I can do to make things better! Her coming back won’t mean anything if Mary’s not…happy, y’know? And I know damn well she won’t be happy coming back to a woman who all but admitted that she hates her whole existence!”

Another silence followed. Mr. Bryant wanted to cry, so badly, but he steeled himself for Todd’s sake. He knew Mary had issues at home, all of them pertaining to Dana, but this was beyond the pale. He had met his fair share of parents who had their issues—several of whom, he thought, were flat-out unfit to be parents at all. Years of teaching taught him that kids were always affected by their parents’ decisions and issues in some capacity. The fact that Dana claimed that Mr. Bryant was “enabling bad behavior” by allowing her to stim certainly said a lot about what she was being taught to believe about autism. Or something else.

“I know it isn’t my place to ask, but…are there any specific reasons why Dana feels the need to treat Mary the way she does?” Mr. Bryant inquired. “Do you know what her early life was like?”

Todd nodded, fiddling with a hollow scratch in the desk he was sitting at. “Dana grew up in a very strict home, and she’s always had issues with her parents. Her mother in particular. I can’t say much more, as it’s her story to tell, and it’s not my place to disclose that information. But I know for a fact that what Dana’s own mother put her through, she’s repeating the exact same patterns with Mary.”

“Has Dana considered seeing a therapist?” Edith suggested. “It sounds like she never got to really process or deal with what happened to her.”

“I suggested it to her a few times, but she didn’t want to hear it,” Todd answered with a heavy sigh. “She’s convinced going to therapy is only for crazy people. She thinks it’s somehow shameful or a sign that she’s a failure of a human being.”

It wasn’t hard for Edith and Mr. Bryant to put the pieces together. With all that taken into account, it was no wonder Dana turned out the way she did. But even they knew that all of that didn’t excuse or come close to justifying how she raised and treated Mary.

“To be perfectly honest…I’ve been contemplating getting a divorce. But I don’t want to resort to doing that yet. It just seems so drastic,” Todd murmured, hanging his head like even mentioning the word was shameful. “It’s probably selfish of me to think so, but a part of me still wants to keep everyone together in some kind of pathetic attempt to keep the peace. Mary might not take the separation well, and not just because autistic people tend to find comfort in routine. If Dana and I were to get a divorce, Mary might think it’s her fault, or Dana might convince her so. But I can’t even have any kind of conversation with Dana anymore without it turning into an argument, and I know that won’t be good for both Reagan and Mary in the long run.”

Mr. Bryant put his hand on top of Todd’s, stroking it with his thumb. “Whatever decision you make is entirely up to you, and we’re here to support you whenever you need it. We’re more than happy to listen, and we know how hard this has been for you and the kids,” He told him reassuringly. “I know how it feels to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. You don’t know what to do, and that’s perfectly normal.”

Todd’s only response was a wet sniff.

“We’re not just here to support you, either,” Mr. Bryant reminded him. “If Mary is found, we want to be there for her as well. I know for a fact that I want to make sure her school experience is as happy, safe, and carefree as possible. That’s what I want for all my students, and if you’d like, I’d love for you to be involved in the process as well.”

Todd appreciated the gesture, flashing a shy smile at the teacher.

“I have a suggestion, Adam,” Edith chimed in. “You could teach kids the importance of setting boundaries, saying no, and respecting one’s privacy. If Dana’s sharing details about Mary on the internet that Mary may not be comfortable with, or didn’t give permission to disclose, she might think that it’s okay for people to do that to her when it isn’t. I know Lianna wouldn’t want me or other people she trusts just spilling information about her she wants to keep private to whoever’s in earshot.”

Yes, that was what angered Todd about Dana’s blog the most. The fact that she was so cavalier about telling the public things about Mary that isn't anyone’s business. More than that, she never even considered how doing that would make Mary feel. She never even so much as asked Mary if it was okay with her to tell people she’s autistic, or if she wanted to keep it private. Dana just did it all on her own. All of it infringed on Mary’s privacy and personal boundaries…and if Mary was made to believe it was okay for people in her life to do that to her, God only knows what would happen if she were to find herself in a dangerous situation. It was bad enough the ABA therapists touched her and physically manipulated her every which way, ignoring her distress, and never bothered to consider her feelings on…just about everything they did to her. Mary didn’t need to be put through that again. Not by her own family!

“That’s definitely something I can cover,” Mr. Bryant agreed with a nod. “Since it’s still early in the curriculum, I can ask my boss if I can make some adjustments to it to incorporate that.”

It wouldn’t just be restricted to school, either. Todd made a mental note to teach Mary about asserting boundaries and saying no, should she ever come home. She deserved that much.

“There’s something else as well,” Todd shuffled in his seat. “I’d like to…actually tell Mary about all this. Tell her everything. How I didn’t notice what Dana was doing to her. That what Dana’s blog is doing to her is wrong and how it could affect her future. How sorry I am that I wasn’t able to protect her when she needed me the most. How the way Dana is treating her is wrong, and that Mary is fine the way she is, no matter how much Dana tries to convince her otherwise. How I want to get her the help she needs, and I mean actual help that’s actually for her benefit. But only if she wants to. ABA never gave her a safe space to talk and be listened to. I want to tell her about all of it.”

Mr. Bryant didn’t know what compelled him to say what he did, but the words came out before he could stop them.

“Maybe you should.”

Both Todd and Edith’s eyes snapped towards him, jumping towards his casual answer, looking at him like he had turned into an alien.

“What?” Edith exclaimed.

“I’m serious. Assuming the person who texted Reagan is indeed Mary, the fact that she’s reaching out in some capacity means that she’s still alive. Probably trying to seek help in some way,” Mr. Bryant elaborated. “And I don’t mean saving her from wherever she is now. You wrote on the poster that she ran away, right?”

Todd nodded.

“From what you’ve told us, Dana’s crusade to cure her and her blog convinced Mary that running away was the best course of action,” Mr. Bryant continued on. “And that she thinks you and Reagan might be in on it as well. It might be best if you explain everything to her outright. As clearly as possible, but not so detailed that it’s above her learning level. That you genuinely didn’t know about the blog before this, and that if she ever comes back, you and your family can make changes so that Mary can live the life she deserves, without fear of being reprimanded over every little thing. That you’ll always love her no matter what.”

“But won’t that interfere with the police investigation, though?” Edith asked.

“There’s a chance it might. But there’s also a chance it could help bring Mary home faster,” Mr. Bryant responded. “You don’t know for sure unless you try, and trying is better than doing nothing. I know this from experience.”

Would it? Todd wasn’t so sure. But he had to admit, Adam made very good points. The fact that Mary—assuming it was even her—was reaching out at all had to mean something. He hated just sitting around doing nothing while his own daughter was out there somewhere, alone and probably scared. He looked down at his cell phone, contemplating Adam’s suggestion. Could he even go through with it? And even if he did, would Mary even read it, or respond? A part of him dreaded what her answer would be. Or if said response would even come from Mary.

But…more than that, he needed Mary to know. She deserved to know the truth. About everything. That all the things Dana said about her on her blog were wrong. For all he knew, Mary might believe that what Dana wrote on there was true…and he hated that more than anything. No, Adam was right. Todd needed to be proactive and do what he could now. If not now, when? Until it was too late? Todd already made those mistakes before. He couldn’t afford to do so again. Mary had already gone through so much. If Dana’s blog really was the thing that made Mary run away, convincing her that she was nothing but a burden on her family, that everything would be better if she had never been born…

Todd pressed his lips into a hard, thin line. He’ll be damned if he just let Dana continue chipping away at whatever self-esteem and self-worth Mary had left.

The three of them talked for a while longer before leaving the school building. Todd drove back to his house with renewed resolve in his heart. Surprisingly, Dana was actually home for once. But they didn’t exchange any words. She was lying on the couch in the den, sleeping peacefully. Todd wondered if she had gotten any sleep at all since Mary disappeared. He hoped her current nap would help her somewhat. Maybe calm her down a bit, since she had been agitated all week. But for now, he had something he needed to do, and he needed the computer to do it.

He sat down on the computer chair, careful not to make any noise that might disturb his sleeping wife, and pulled up his email account. Reagan once set up an email account for Mary about a year ago, so she could talk to Caitlin and Leo on the computer. Todd thanked his lucky stars that he wrote down Mary’s email address in a notebook he kept his passwords in. What he needed to say would probably be too big for text messages to truly convey.

Once he got his email page up, his fingers came to life, dancing across the keys like they knew the choreography by heart.

Mary. This is your father, Todd. I don’t know if you’re able to read this, but on the off chance that you are, I have so much I need to tell you.

Not once did Dana stir from her sleep the entire time Todd typed his email.

When Mary woke up, her eyesight was blurry. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she glanced outside and saw that the sky was marred by thick clouds. Good, no bright sunlight to stab her eyes. But she also saw Nora sitting against the entrance, looking down at what appeared to be her cellphone. Ear buds were firmly in Nora’s ears. Mary crawled up to Nora with a smile.

“Morning, Nora!”

Nora didn’t look away from her I-Pod, but responded with a detached, “Mornin’.”

So she heard Mary. That meant she wasn’t listening to any music right now. Nora removed her earbuds shortly after, wrapping the cord they were attached to around her cellphone.

“What kind of music do you listen to?” Mary asked.

“Hard rock. Hip-hop. Heavy metal. Screamo. Nothing you’d be interested in.”

Mary’s face contorted with disinterest. She was not a fan of heavy metal. How could anyone listen to music so loud that it’d be all but guaranteed that it’d blow their eardrums out? And she didn’t know what screamo was, but based on the name, it probably sounded similar.

“Aren’t those super loud? You might lose your hearing if you listen to them for too long,” Mary asked, concerned.

Nora scoffed with a smug grin. “I’m made of tougher stuff than that.”

She certainly was tough, Mary thought. The fact that she’s been on this train for longer than Mary basically proved it all on its own. Mary adjusted herself so she was sitting upright, right next to Nora. There was so much she wanted to ask. Since Vic and Blanca were still sleeping, maybe now was a good time to make conversation.

“So…how long have you been on the train?” Mary asked.

“About a few weeks, give or take. I know I disappeared the first week of October,” Nora huffed before turning to the younger girl. “How about you?”

“A little later than that.”

The news report about Nora did mention that she had been missing for a week, just before Mary got picked up by the train. That made sense, given the timeline.

“So…what brings you on the train?” Mary inquired.

Nora raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Well, the videos on those pod things say people get pulled onto the train if they have problems,” Mary explained. “Or if something bad happened to them. The train is supposed to help you deal with it. Did something bad happen to you before you got on the train?”

Nora audibly scoffed. “Pfft. As if. Besides, it’s not really any of your business.”

Just like that, Mary deflated. She must have overstepped again, like with Vic. Guilt weighed down her gut as she avoided the teenager’s scrutinizing gaze. “Sorry.”

There was a brief silence, but Nora spoke again. “The only thing I can really think of is that my parents care way more about my little brother than they do me.”

Mary’s head snapped up. “Really?” Was Nora in a similar situation to her own? Somehow, Mary found herself curious to know more.

Nora stashed her phone in her backpack as she talked. “They’re always on me about my grades, my friends, pretty much everything, and all they ever want me to do is sit around the house babysitting him,” Nora groaned. “'Nora, you’re his big sister! You need to set a good example for him! Nora, you’re the older one, so you’re responsible for him! Nora dear, it’s your job to watch Julius while we’re at work! You can’t be hanging out with your friends all the time!’ ” She adopted a faux nasally voice, imitating her parents’ voices.

As she finished speaking, Mary stifled a chuckle by putting both hands to her mouth. She had to admit, Nora’s imitation of her parents’ voices sounded funny to her ears. But she knew she shouldn’t have laughed while Nora was opening up to her. That’d be rude.

“That stinks. Do your parents not love you?”

The teenager paused once again. “...You could say that.”

So both her parents didn’t love her. Mary frowned as she looked down at her hands. It was one thing to have one parent dislike you, but it was another for both of them to not love you. Mary couldn’t imagine what her life would be like if her father hated her as well as her mother. Or even her older sister. It would probably be terrible. Just thinking about it made bile rise to her throat. She wondered if Nora experienced worse things than she herself did, but she didn’t dare ask. If she wasn’t comfortable talking about it, who was Mary to demand details Nora didn’t want to disclose? Maybe that was why she came across as so grumpy. Maybe that was her way of trying to deal with her issues.

“That sounds awful.”

“You got that right.”

Mary knew exactly what to say next. She flashed a big, wide smile and spread her arms akimbo. “It’ll be okay, Nora! You’ve got us now, and we’re all here for you!” She proclaimed with confidence. After all, shouldn’t those who are unwanted stick together?

Her gesture earns a flicker of a smile on Nora’s face. But it fades away just as quickly. Mary set her arms down and frowned. Had she said or done something she shouldn’t have again? She was trying to be supportive. Nora didn’t look angry, but she couldn’t quite read the teenager’s current expression. Nora smiled a little bit, so she had to have been a little bit happy.

“Sure, I guess,” Was Nora’s only response, and it sounded…detached. Like she barely paid Mary any mind. “When the hamster and the marshmallow wake up, we get moving right away.”

“They have names, y’know,” Mary deadpanned, not appreciating Nora forgetting her companions’ names.

It wasn’t long before Vic and Blanca awoke, and they made their way through the canyon once more. Their days consisted of walking, resting, repeating the process, and finding an empty cave to sleep in for the night before doing it all over again. It was all walking, walking, walking. None of them knew just how big the car was. Blanca tried to turn into a bird and fly across, but large phoenixes attempted to attack them when she flew within their vicinity, so they decided it was safer to stay on the ground. Nora wasn’t particularly happy about this, continually griping about how much faster it’d be if they just flew to the exit after the danger passed.

Over the course of several days, the quartet walked until finally, finally, they saw the red doors that signaled the end of the car. Everyones’ legs throbbed and burned with every step they walked, worse when running, but their joy overrode their exhaustion as they made their way to the beautiful exit doors.

“Ugh! Finally! I thought we’d never get the hell outta here!” Both Vic and Nora shouted in unison.

“I’ll open the doors for you!” Mary proclaimed, taking it upon herself to turn the golden handles.

But the quartet was going to wish they hadn’t.

As soon as the doors opened, their ears were assailed by a horrible screeching noise. Mary was the first to see it on the bridge. A gigantic, grotesque creature resembling a cockroach with dog legs and a canine tail stood over a pile of ash. Or was it dirt? She couldn’t tell. The creature’s mouth consisted of wiggling tendrils, with three of them being longer than all the other ones, and its face was too dark to make out. The quartet stopped right in their tracks as the monstrous being turned to face them.

Something resurfaced from the far reaches of Mary’s memory. Didn’t Ben Greene the grape person mention something about giant flying cockroach monsters before?

“They’re called Ghoms. They prey on passengers and suck the life out of them. They make you shrivel up and turn into dust. If you see one, don’t try to fight them. It’s a losing battle, so you’d best run for your life.”

So that pile of dust…might have been a person! And this monster killed them, sucked the life out of them! All the color drained from Mary’s face, and her mouth fell open in terror as the realization dawned on her right then and there.

They were face-to-face with a Ghom!

Chapter Text

As soon as the Ghom laid eyes on them, it let out a horrendous screech before lunging right at them. Vic was the first to react, screaming “RUUUN!!” at the top of his lungs.

His shout spurred everyone to leap towards the railing. Their movement was so fast, the Ghom couldn’t reorient itself, slamming face first into the red door. It slumped to the ground in a brief daze, but everyone stole quick glances at one another, realizing this was their chance to run. They did just that, sprinting across the bridge as fast as their legs could carry them. But it wasn’t long before the Ghom regained its bearings, turning around and giving chase. Blanca was the first to reach the door, opening it straight away, wildly gesturing for everyone else to get inside.

Vic sprinted inside first, followed by Mary and Nora. Blanca managed to slide inside, right as the Ghom regained its bearings and lunged at them once more. The marshmallow slammed the door, but the Ghom was halfway inside the train car, and the doors weren’t strong enough to knock it out. The Ghom let out another screech as it tried to push its way into the car. Seeing that Blanca was struggling to close the doors, Nora ran over to put both hands on the left door in an attempt to help. The Ghom extended one of its paws into the car, desperately trying to reach for something. Another screech, and then the Ghom managed to push its way through, sending Blanca and Nora to the floor.

Mary barely had time to process what car they were in. All she knew for sure was that this new car was a purple abyss with lots of orange cubes in all shapes and sizes floating in place. It didn’t take long for her to find that the Ghom managed to get past Nora and Blanca. She took Vic in her hands and made a mad dash further in. There had to be some place she and Vic could hide. Mary knew she wouldn’t be able to fight that thing, nor would Vic, and Ben Greene said that it was safer not to fight it. Her lungs burned and her heart thundered in her chest as she looked all around the purple abyss. Unfortunately, there weren’t any cubes, or clusters of them, that looked anything like a hiding place.

The Ghom made another lunge, leaping towards Mary and Vic like a horse in a race. Mary heard its horrid screech and jumped to the left side, avoiding the assault. Blanca caught up to it, body slamming it to the ground and trapping it under her expanded weight.

“Everyone! Get to the exit, quick!” Blanca bellowed, grimacing as the Ghom thrashed and squealed underneath her. “I’ll catch up with you after this!”

Nora was the first to stand back up and make a mad dash towards the exit. Thankfully, to everyone’s relief, the car wasn’t nearly as big as the Phoenix Car, and the exit was only thirty feet away from Mary’s current position. Mary wasted no time following behind Nora, even though pain shot through her legs with every step. Nora got to the exit first, opening the door for Mary and Vic. Just as they got out, the Ghom managed to use one of its hind legs to kick Blanca, freeing itself from her grasp. The kick made Blanca fall to the floor and curl into herself. Mary could see the grimace on her face. That kick must have hurt really bad. 

Her eyes widened in fear when she saw the Ghom racing towards them. Right as the Ghom tried to stick its head out, Nora slammed one of the doors on it in an attempt to trap it. The giant cockroach monster gave another screeching howl, its tendrils flailing all over the place. Mary knew she had to do something, and Blanca was still in there. What could she do? She couldn’t go inside, as much as she wanted to help Blanca, because the Ghom could literally turn her to ash if she tried to charge in head on. Nora was struggling to keep the door pressed against the wriggling monster. Vic was too small to do much on his own, so in a way, he was more at risk than everyone else was.

Then she remembered she still had her umbrella spear. Mary set Vic down on the platform just outside the car and pulled the spear out from behind her backpack, wielding it in both hands. She didn’t know if this would work, but this was no time to be scared. Mary steeled herself. She needed to protect her friends. As much as she hated fighting, this was do or die. With a scream, Mary ran up to the still struggling Ghom and stabbed it right in the face. As soon as the tip of the spear made contact, the Ghom let out an agonized screech. Some kind of liquid streamed out from the wound, black in color, almost blending in with its hide. Mary could only assume it was its blood, and her face contorted with disgust as she pulled the spear out from the cluster of tendrils that served as its mouth. Nora took the chance to kick it, sending it rolling across the floor in the cube car.

Before the monstrosity could regain its bearings, something grabbed at both of its hind legs. It was Blanca, back on her feet, with renewed determination in her eyes. The two of them were just ten feet from the exit. Ghom in hand, the giant marshmallow lifted the roach-like monstrosity into the air, and with a great heave, threw it towards the entrance. The Ghom barely had time to expand its wings before it collided with the entrance doors head first. Blanca slid out the exit, and Nora slammed the doors behind them.

“Blanca! Are you okay?” Mary ran right up to the tired marshmallow, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“I’m a little rattled, but other than that, I seem to be just fine,” Blanca replied, flashing a proud grin in Mary’s direction.

Mary’s heart swelled with pride. She had managed to help Blanca, and they didn’t get turned to ash!

“Woohoo! Oh, man! You were awesome just now, Mary!” Vic cajoled, jumping up and down with glee. “You just stabbed that giant cockroach right in the face, like…wham!” The hamster thrust his left arm out in a punching gesture. “You really showed it what for!”

Only now did her recent actions really sink in. Her legs gave out as she fell to her knees, replaying the action back in her mind as though she were rewinding a scene in a movie. “I…I really did…I just stabbed a giant cockroach monster in the face!” 

Even saying it out loud didn’t make it seem any more real. But the lingering black blood on her fingers and the tip of her spear confirmed it. Her whole body trembled, both from the rush of adrenaline and the pride that made her heart pound faster than it usually did. She actually protected her friends from an actual monster! She had no idea she even had it in her. But the sticky black blood on her fingers began to override her emotions, and she wasted no time rubbing them on the floor to get it off. No way was she going to put black stains on her shirt.

“Damn, it’s never a dull moment with those things,” Nora grumbled, leaning against the red train door behind her.

“Have you dealt with them before, Nora?” Vic asked.

“Just once. Only managed to escape by the skin of my teeth,” Nora quipped, carding a hand through her purple locks.

The quartet silently decided to just sit on the platform and rest for a short while. It was hard enough getting through the Phoenix Car, and having to deal with a giant cockroach monster sapped the energy out of them. Even Nora couldn’t help but slide down the door as she sat down, her legs throbbing from having walked so much. Mary crawled next to Blanca and snuggled against her, smiling as she did so, relieved that her marshmallow friend was safe. The four of them sat near the gangway for a long time, and nobody bothered to keep track of how long, with the exhaustion cutting right into their bones. Or in Blanca’s case, the sugar, water, and corn syrup that formed her body.

Once they regained their energy, they decided to make their way to the next car, with Nora opening the door to the next car this time. The first thing the quartet saw when they opened the door was trees. Lots of them cloistered together, forming a large jungle. Giant frilled mushrooms glowed pink and turquoise, giving the lush jungle an almost ethereal atmosphere, like something out of a fairy tale. Several vines dangled from the trees, but they were still too high up for Mary to grab onto. Mary found herself watching some glowing butterflies as they fluttered past her without a care in the world. They were unlike anything she had ever seen back on Earth. She was tempted to touch one of them as it flew past her, but didn’t want to hurt it, so she refrained from doing so.

“Woooow! This is so pretty!” Mary exclaimed in her awe.

Nora gave a noncommittal shrug. “Eh, I’ve seen better. Another big car, probably,” She deadpanned.

Something caught Mary’s eye and she turned to face a big tree trunk. A tiny green lizard climbed up the tree, facing her with its dotted eyes. Mary smiled and gently poked the lizard with her index finger. The lizard’s body glowed a whitish blue and pink before making noises that sounded like whistling.

“Awww, look at the cute little whistle lizard!” Mary crooned, beckoning for everyone else to see it.

Nora shot a glare at her. “We’re not here to stand around gawking at dumb animals, kid!” She snapped.

Mary’s smile immediately turned into a frown. Memories of Dana doing the exact same thing came rushing back. Even Nora’s tone of voice sounded exactly like her mother’s. Luckily, Blanca walked over to Mary’s side and eyed the little whistling lizard.

“I think it’s adorable.”

That was all it took for Mary to regain her spirits.

The Jungle Car lived up to its name, and seemed to go on forever. The quartet pushed their way through thick foliage and walked across logs over roaring waterfalls. Nobody dared to touch the mushrooms, as they couldn’t predict whether they’d be poisonous or not. Tall mountains loomed over the jungle, reaching high into the heavens, some of which the quarter had to walk through in order to get to the exit. Blanca was still in no condition to shapeshift into a giant bird, and she didn’t want to risk being attacked by something in the sky again, assuming there might be predators like before. In a place like this, the probability of encountering wild animals like lions or vultures was likely. Then again, this was a magic train. Literally anything was possible.

Once night started to fall, the quartet decided to try and find a place to sleep for the night. After some searching, they found a clearing that seemed abandoned. There was a nest-like hole in the ground covered in leaves, big enough to fit several people inside. In one corner was a big pile of purple pineapples. Nora set down her bag and immediately got to unpacking it.

“Guess we’re bunking here for the night,” Nora decided.

Everyone nodded in agreement. The clearing seemed safe enough, and so far they hadn’t encountered any dangerous wildlife. Blanca and Mary followed Nora’s lead and set their bags down so they could stretch and relax. Mary wasted no time crawling over to the shallow hole and leaning against her backpack, relieved to finally be able to get off her feet. But her stomach churned with a loud rumble, begging for food. She looked over at the pile of pineapples next to Nora. What did those taste like? She never had pineapples before, and for all she knew, the ones on the train might be different from the ones on Earth.

Curiosity took hold, and she and Vic walked over to the pineapple pile. “I’ll cut one open and see how it tastes,” Vic jumped off Mary’s shoulder, landed on a pineapple, and sunk his teeth into it, dragging them across its hide and splitting it into two. He discarded the top half, as they had no need for the leaves, and took a moment to taste the inside.

“Hmm. Tastes kinda sweet and mellow,” Vic noted, licking his lips before sliding the bottom half of the pineapple to Mary.

She looked down at the pineapple. How in the world was she supposed to cut into it? She had no knife, and she didn’t want to get her hands sticky by taking pieces of it out from the base. Seeing Mary’s discomfort and dilemma, Vic ran back to his backpack, pulled out a small knife, and ran back to Mary, slowly cutting a piece of the pineapple out from the base. Mary gave a grateful nod before putting the piece he cut into her mouth. True to what Vic mentioned, it was sweet, but also wet and sticky, and there was a strong aftertaste that she couldn’t quite identify. It made her face scrunch up, and even though she swallowed it, the aftertaste still lingered on her tongue, like sandpaper on raw skin. The whole thing just felt…wrong.

“Eugh…not my favorite,” Mary croaked before pushing the pineapple over to Vic. “You can have the rest.”

“Sure! Cool with me! But what about you?” Vic was happy to receive the pineapple, but he couldn’t help but be concerned since Mary was still hungry. “We don’t have much food on us, so we gotta make do with what we have. I don’t want you to starve.”

As hungry as Mary was, she couldn’t bring herself to eat those pineapples anymore. “I’ll…be okay. No need to worry.”

She said that, but in her mind she chastised herself for not being able to just tolerate every food that was in front of her. Like Vic said, they didn’t have a lot of options, and Mary understood their situation was precarious. She was happy that Blanca and Vic knew she wasn’t being deliberately picky. Some food and their textures were physically painful. Could there be other things around that she could eat?

Before she could leave and see for herself, something was shoved into her vision. It was a long, orange carrot. Mary looked up to find Nora looming over her, carrot in hand.

“You like carrots?” Nora asked.

Mary nodded, and Nora simply handed it to her.

“Thanks,” Mary muttered.

“Don’t mention it. Not a big fan of them myself.”

Mary was more used to her carrots being cut into smaller pieces, but she didn’t want to seem ungrateful, so she began eating it from the bottom upward. It felt crunchier and dryer than the carrots she previously ate, but they still tasted good regardless. Nora sat down next to Mary, setting her backpack in front of her legs and rummaging through it. Mary had to admit, Nora’s backpack looked stuffed. Not as much as Vic’s was, but she could see some trinkets poking out from several pockets.

“What kind of stuff do you have with you?” Mary asked.

“A bunch of stuff. Sleeping bags, cooking materials, knives, stuff I nicked from other train cars, survival books, can openers,” Nora replied, pulling out a compass.

“What do you need survival books for?”

Nora fiddled with the compass in her hand, her fingertips brushing against the pointed structure on top. “Living off the grid. Know what that is?”

Mary shook her head.

“It means living out in the wilderness. No cellphones, no convenience stores, no parents to boss you around. You have to hunt, fish, and forage for your own food, you have to draw your own water from a well, and if you’re ever in danger, you gotta fight off wild animals all by yourself with no help whatsoever.”

Mary shivered. That description did not exactly endear her to that kind of lifestyle. Other people could handle it if they wanted to, but not her.

“That sounds tough.”

“It is. When you’re in the wilderness, you can’t afford to be a wuss.”

There was another silence until Nora nudged Mary with her elbow. “Wanna see something cool?”

“What is it?”

Nora rummaged through the front pocket of her backpack, pulling something wrapped in a dish towel. But as soon as she unwrapped it, Mary’s blood ran cold. It was a black gun. A pistol. She didn’t know what kind it was, but it didn’t change the fact that Nora was showing her a gun. A weapon, and a dangerous one if not handled properly. Mary backed away at least three feet.

“Why do you…have a g-g-g-g-gun?” Mary stammered, her blue eyes wide as saucers in fear of the weapon Nora had in her hands.

“It’s my boyfriend’s. He gave it to me,” Nora answered so casually and nonchalantly, like she was totally indifferent to the fact that she had a loaded weapon on her person. “I need it if I’m gonna hunt for food and live off the grid.”

“But…isn’t it dangerous? You could hurt yourself with that gun if you’re not careful,” Mary advised, more out of genuine concern for Nora’s well-being than anything.

Oddly enough, Nora shot her a displeased look. “Are you kidding me right now? You’re actually gonna lecture me on gun safety?” Nora insinuated, her tone venomous.

Mary shrank into herself, averting Nora’s gaze. The teenager gave a barely hidden scoff. “Pfft. You’re worse than my dad.”

Rather than move the conversation further, Mary walked over to Blanca’s side, leaving Nora to the hole. Blanca had gathered some wood and was rubbing two sticks together to create a campfire. It wasn’t long before a flame flickered to life, growing in size until it was the size of Mary’s head. The air around the campfire rippled, and the flame made the wooden sticks crackle. Mary looked up at Blanca’s face. The marshmallow’s eyes rippled orange from the flames, and the frown on her face didn’t suit her at all. Come to think of it…Blanca had been acting odd since she saw Mary’s memories. What was she sad about? Part of Mary wanted to refrain from asking, but another part wanted to know so she could at least be there for Blanca in her time of need. Blanca had always supported her and Vic with nary a complaint. Mary curled her hands into fists. Maybe now it was time to support her for a chance.

“Blanca? Are you okay?” Mary asked as politely as possible, her voice small and meek. “You’ve been sad ever since we saw my memories.”

At first, the marshmallow didn’t answer. Mary looked down at her shoes, immediately regretting having asked something so personal. Of course Blanca wasn’t okay. She looked desolate.

“To be honest, no,” Blanca finally whispered. “But this is my problem, Mary. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I can’t help it, though!” Mary exclaimed. “Whatever’s wrong, you don’t have to deal with it alone. You have me and Vic, and you know you can talk to us about it. We won’t get mad or stop liking you! Not after all you’ve done for us!”

Having heard Mary, Vic scuttled over to the marshmallow as well, joining in on their conversation. “She’s right, y’know. We never would have come this far without you. It’s okay to rely on us if you have problems you need to get off your chest. Of course, it’s okay if you’re not comfortable sharing.”

Their blunt yet compassionate assertions stun the giant marshmallow, making her blink twice. Not long after, a sad smile crosses her face.

“You two…I’m so blessed to have gotten to befriend you both. I suppose…it’s time I told you the truth,” Blanca murmured. “Mary? Do you remember when we first met? Just before we left the Sweets Car, I told you there was another reason I wanted to explore the train with you?”

Comprehension dawned on Mary’s face as she nodded. Blanca had said something to that effect back when they first met.

Blanca paused for a moment, wincing as she spoke once more. “The thing is…one of my sons, Shiro, left the Sweets Car a long time ago. We didn’t part on the best terms, and…I want to see him again. Just to see how he’s doing and apologize to him.”

One of her sons…Mary and Vic remembered the game they played back in the Doily Car. Blanca mentioned she sired twenty children. One of whom Mary met just briefly, right before she and Blanca left the Sweets Car.

“If it’s a sore subject for you, you don’t have to tell us—” Vic was about to reassure her, but the marshmallow silently raised a hand up, cutting him off.

“It’s fine. I want to tell you. There’s so much I need to get off my chest…” Blanca gently asserted. “All throughout my life, I never knew anything except the Sweets Car. I was blissfully ignorant of anything outside the Sweets Car. I married my husband, had twenty children…what more could I ask for? But one day, a creature I didn’t recognize came into the car for a brief moment. Then more of them passed through, with the number increasing by the day. It wasn’t until later I learned they were humans. Passengers.”

According to Blanca, there was a period of time when the Sweets Car never saw passengers or denizens. When they first came through the Sweets Car, the denizens of said car weren’t exactly the most welcoming towards them, and for a pretty petty reason: They didn’t look like them. They weren’t sentient sweets, so they had no place in their car, even if their presence was temporary. But the denizens of the Sweets Car never tried to kick them out and mainly ignored them. As time passed, the Sweets Car denizens became more accustomed to passengers and denizens from other cars passing through, sometimes staying a night or two, shedding their initial hostility and getting to know them better. Most of them did. Blanca had chosen to keep her distance, as she had overheard several passersby mention the various cars they went through, many of which were dangerous.

“I had gotten it into my head that the world outside our car was a dangerous place,” Blanca elaborated. “All based on the musings of some passengers that I never bothered to talk to. I just conjured all these ideas in my head and latched onto them. I never made the effort to learn more. But Shiro did.”

Shiro was Blanca’s ninth son, and her eighteenth child overall. Blanca described him as an adamant, rambunctious boy who was always curious and getting into all sorts of scrapes. One time, he climbed the highest tower in the Sweets Car and managed to reach the top. When he tried to get down, he had slipped, and Blanca managed to save him in the nick of time. Since then, she had become protective of him and tried to curb his thrill-seeking tendencies. They mellowed out as he got older, but he never lost the desire to try new things. Something that Blanca began to see as a problem when passengers and denizens from other cars began traipsing through the Sweets Car.

“He started talking to the outsiders, and would often converse with them for hours. I often had to resort to dragging him away from them just so I could get him to eat dinner or help around the house. Shiro was never too happy about that. I can’t count how many times I dragged him back home kicking and screaming. No matter how much I tried to discourage it, Shiro never stopped trying to talk to passengers and learn about the world outside the Sweets Car.”

Things came to a head ten years ago. One day, Shiro proclaimed to his entire family that he decided to move out of the Sweets Car permanently. When questioned why, Shiro told them that he was sick of having his life decided for him, wanting to see the rest of the train and what it had to offer. Everyone supported his wishes…except for Blanca. She was vehemently opposed to the idea and did everything possible to try and keep him in the Sweets Car. Dismissing his dreams, telling him he didn’t know what he was doing, claiming that the outsiders were a bad influence on him, even resorting to physical restraint. Since Shiro was an adult, he easily broke free from her grasp and left the Sweets Car without so much as a goodbye, never paying her admittedly single-minded protests any heed.

Mary and Vic’s mouths fell agape at all that the marshmallow told them. It was impossible for them to believe that the sweet, patient, motherly marshmallow who always supported them for so long was once the very opposite. The more they thought about it, the more they realized…Blanca’s past actions reminded them eerily of both Dana and Irene. Mary looked down at her folded hands as she listened to the rest of Blanca’s tale. She didn’t dare try to imagine Blanca engaging in the same behavior her mother and grandmother did.

“For the longest time, I was convinced that Shiro was entirely in the wrong. I couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to leave the Sweets Car when it was safe from any and all danger that I knew of,” Blanca elaborated, her voice quavering. “My husband and other kids tried to get me to admit responsibility for driving Shiro away, but I didn’t want to hear it. After a while, I started to think about what Shiro had told me. That I shouldn’t be so quick to judge others for not being exactly like me and to jump to conclusions over nothing.”

One day, a passenger came into the Sweets Car in despair, a young girl a little older than Mary. Blanca, who had initially kept her distance from passengers, found herself feeling pity for the girl and let her stay in her house for a while. Blanca tried to be hospitable—cooking for her, listening to her troubles, and offering words of encouragement—and it seemed to work. The girl left the car feeling better than she did before. More passengers came through, and Blanca began offering to let them rest at her house. Hearing their different stories and getting to know them better made her realize that she had been wrong to assume the worst in them when they first appeared years ago. Many of them were people who were just foisted onto the train and didn’t know what to do, where to go, who to trust, or anything of the like. She also heard about other train cars, learning which ones were dangerous and which ones weren’t.

Gradually, Blanca began to wonder if the train was really as horrible as she assumed it was. On a whim, Blanca left the Sweets Car and went into another train car. Then another. Then another. She was only able to visit ten cars before going back, as she didn’t want to worry the rest of her family and stay out too long, but that experience alone made her realize that the world didn’t consist entirely of just the Sweets Car. Plus, some of the train cars she visited weren’t dangerous like she thought they’d be. Even the denizens of said cars either welcomed her without question or just quietly kept their distance. When Blanca got back home that day, she openly wept as remorse hit her like a truck. She had been completely wrong about everything, and her own actions led to her driving her own son away.

“I could no longer deny what I had done,” Blanca murmured. “I tried to keep my son in a cage of my own making because of my inability to listen and expand my horizons, and as a result, he’s gone. I wonder if he felt as though I were suffocating him.”

That was a feeling Mary knew all too well. Still, the thought of Blanca acting just like her mother and grandmother was too terrible to think about. How could she, when Blanca had been nothing but sweet and supportive to her and Vic?

“Honestly…seeing your memories, and all that Dana and Irene have done to you…it was like seeing my old self all over again, from an outsider’s perspective,” The marshmallow’s form becomes smaller, her arms hugging her torso as if trying to keep herself together. “I began to wonder…was that what Shiro saw? He must have felt so scared, so terrified, so angry…and knowing that everything that happened is my own fault…”

Her words fade with a hitch of her breath, her voice the most fragile Mary and Vic had ever heard. There was no mistaking the tears now, not when Blanca’s body jolted with a sob. On impulse, Mary scooted over to the marshmallow and put both arms on her. They weren’t long enough to wrap around Blanca’s body, but Mary hoped her gesture would bring warmth in the hopes of reducing the sorrow the marshmallow was experiencing. Vic did the same, crawling up Mary’s back and on the girl’s head, extending the gesture in his own way.

Blanca doesn’t respond verbally to their hug, but neither Mary nor Vic expected that. Touched by their kindness, Blanca wrapped her arms around Mary, pulling her and Vic even closer. Nora rolled her eyes and made a faux retching sound at the scene playing out in front of her before going back to cleaning her gun with a rag.

“So what are you gonna do when you actually see Shiro again?” Vic asked.

The marshmallow released them and wiped a single tear from her eye. “Don’t worry, I have no intention of dragging him back to the Sweets Car. That isn’t what he wants,” Blanca clarified with a sniff. “I have no right to expect him to come back or to forgive me for what I’ve done. But I do worry if he’s okay or even alive. If I see him again, I intend to just apologize and wish him well. What he decides to do with his life is entirely up to him, and as long as he’s happy, then that’s all I could ever hope to ask for.”

“That’s what they all say,” Nora piped in, her words dripping with unsolicited sarcasm.

Mary and Vic couldn’t help but whirl their heads around, their mouths agape at Nora’s blatant callousness. Blanca was opening up to them about something extremely personal, and here was Nora dismissing it like it was nothing!

“You can play up your woe-is-me backstory all you want, I know your end game is to either pine for easy sympathy or manipulate your kid into going back to you. That’s how it always goes down,” Nora sneered. “It’s honestly hilarious how pathetic you’re being right now.”

Pathetic? Mary’s blood boiled, and her hands balled into fists. Nora had no right to claim she knew what Blanca was really thinking! She opened her mouth to call her out, but Vic beat her to the punch.

“The hell do you know?! You don’t know Blanca like we do so keep your insensitive comments to yourself!”

Nora scoffed before pulling a bag of white powder out from her backpack. “Fine, whatever. You can lick your wounds all you want, just leave me out of it.”

For someone who said she wanted to be left out of certain things, Nora seemed to have no qualms about inserting herself into peoples’ business and throwing her own two cents into them. Mary couldn’t help but shrug at Nora’s blatant hypocrisy. But more than that…Mary shivered when she saw Nora pouring some powder on another stump. She used some sort of metal square to divide the powder into three lines, then took out what looked to be a straw before…snorting some of the powder up her nose.

Were those…drugs? If they were, what kind were they? Mary had a bad feeling, but couldn’t quite put it to words. Vic and Blanca seemed to notice it as well.

“It’s getting late, so we’d best get some sleep. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow,” Blanca suggested with an awkward laugh.

The bad feeling continued even as Mary snuggled up next to Blanca and tried to fall asleep. But sleep seemed to avoid her that night. Her mind was awhirl with everything that had happened the night before. Blanca’s reason for accompanying Mary on her journey, the new side of Nora’s personality, the gun, the drugs…Mary couldn’t help but wonder if she should even sleep at all. What if Nora shot them in her sleep? She shook her head. Sure, Nora was prickly, but she wouldn’t go that far, right? Why would she even want to kill them? Mary mentally kicked herself for being so quick to assume Nora would be a murderer.

She was able to get some hours of sleep, but when she woke up, she still felt groggy. Mary slid out from under Blanca’s arm and walked over to her backpack, which she had left in the hole that Nora was currently sleeping in. Silently, Mary pulled the backpack out from it, and Nora didn’t stir even once. Mary sighed with relief. Backpack in hand, Mary walked over to the pile of pineapples, rummaging through her bag to pull out her phone and pressed one of the buttons on the side. What time was it? The sky was lighter than it was last night, but not too bright, so it was probably early morning.

When Mary’s phone finally turned on, it vibrated in her hands. An email notification popped up at the top of the screen. Curious, Mary tapped it with her finger, opening up her email account. A new email had appeared in her inbox, and it wasn’t sent to the Spam folder. The subject line read: I’m Sorry, Mary . Who could be sending this? Pressing her lips together in anticipation, Mary tapped the email, opening the message. The second she saw who the sender was, her eyes were glued to the email.

The sender was Todd Summers.

Mary. This is your father, Todd. I don’t know if you’re able to read this, but on the off chance that you are, I have so much I need to tell you. I don’t know where to start, except with this: I’m sorry. For everything. 

I’m sorry for never having noticed what your mother put you through, sending you to ABA during the day while I worked at the casino. I’m sorry for never asking if you were okay or looking deeper into what was happening. I’m sorry for not knowing that she made a whole blog for the sole purpose of complaining about you to strangers on the internet and revealing information about you that she’s not allowed to share. Dana kept so many things a secret from me, and I’m angry at myself for only just now finding out about all that she’s done to you right under my nose. So much could have been prevented had I just asked the right questions or made an effort to look into what was going on. You never should have been made to endure all the pain and suffering those doctors put you through.

There is one thing I really want you to know, Mary. Reagan and I, we never knew this blog existed until you sent that text talking about it, and I assure you, neither of us were involved in creating it. If I had known this was going on sooner, I would have put a stop to it. Your mother kept it a secret from all of us because she knew we would do so if we ever found out about it. Furthermore, I know about the entry where she mentioned wanting to sterilize you. Do you know what that word means? In case you don’t, it means to make it so someone can’t have babies. In this case, Dana wants to take you to a doctor and have them mess with your organs so that even if you grew up and got married, you wouldn’t be able to have children no matter what. 

I can’t stress this enough: That’s not for your mother to decide, and what she’s planning to do to you is wrong. Whether you want to have kids or not when you grow up, you are the only one who has the right to decide what to do with your body. Do you remember the ABA doctors Dana took you to? They’re the ones who put that idea in her head, claiming that autistic people are nothing but burdens on their families and the causes of all their problems. They’re the ones who convinced Dana to put you through all those sessions to make you appear normal, not allowing you to engage in the things that make you happy, like your hand-flapping or your rocking.

They’re wrong about you, Mary, and I’ll keep telling you this until the day you die. You are an important part of the Summers family. Nothing can ever change that, and I don’t ever want to change anything about you. I wish I could say Dana felt the same, but in light of what we’ve found out…it’d be cruel of me to lie to you, and you hate it when people lie to you no matter how much the truth may hurt. I don’t want to tell you how to feel about your mother, but you need to know that Dana’s actions are unacceptable. Not only is she sharing extremely private information about you to complete strangers without your permission, telling them lies about what you’re really like, if certain people were to come across said information, it could negatively affect your future. Someone could read what your mother wrote on her blog without checking the facts and judge you solely based on that and not even give you a fair chance. For example, if you were to find a job and get an interview, the interviewer could have seen what your mother wrote and say to you, “Are you Mary Summers? We don’t think you’re qualified to do this job because according to this, you’re quite the troublemaker.” People could easily just decide who you are based on the lies Dana wrote about you, without ever taking the time to get to know you and realize the truth.

This shouldn’t even be something you have to deal with. I’ve tried to make Dana realize what she’s doing is wrong, but you know how stubborn she is. She refuses to believe any of it, even when the facts straight up say so. I can only pray that you’re safe and sound wherever you are. Your sister and I, we miss you so much. Your friends and teachers at school miss you, too. Everyone’s looking for you, worried about you. You still have people here that care about you and love you for who you are. Your worth isn’t based on whether or not you’re normal or autistic. You don’t need to be cured, no matter how much your mother or those ABA doctors may claim otherwise. I owe you no small number of apologies, but most of all, I’m sorry that my lack of action made you feel that running away was the best option. Please don’t think I’m angry at you for having done so. As painful as it is not having you here right now, I understand what it’s like to want to run away.

Since you left, things are…rocky, between your mother and I. I’ve been trying to get her to see that her actions have driven you away, but she refuses to take responsibility for any of it. As a result, she and I have been fighting a lot more than we used to. Ideally, I would love to have you home right this instant, but I don’t want you to have to see us arguing so much. I know it would only make you sad, and with how your mom is, I don’t know if the fighting will even stop. It’s not good for both you and Reagan in the long run. However, I am going to make some serious changes. From now on, I am never going to let your mother take you to any place you don’t want to ever again. Especially not without your input. That means no more ABA and no more so-called specialists to try and make you “normal.” No more quiet hands. I’m also going to talk to your teachers at school and see if they can help make your life easier as well. If that’s okay with you, that is. They won’t happen right away, but I’m going to make sure they happen. Because Dana’s treatment of you is not how mothers should treat their children, and I’m going to make it stop. NOW. I’m sad that she can’t find it in her heart to accept you as you are after so many years.

Wherever you are, I hope you’re doing well and staying safe. We all miss you here, and we’ll wait patiently for the day you’re ready to come home, Bunny.

Sincerely,

Your father Todd.

P.S. Do you remember that red-haired girl who was nice to you in the Barnes and Noble last month? It turns out she’s Greg Kesserling’s older sister. Her name is Lianna. I’ve recently become friends with their mother Edith, and she’s been a great help to me since you went missing. Guess what I found out? Lianna is autistic just like you! I’ve been thinking that maybe her mother and I could arrange it so you two could get together some time and hang out. It’ll be good for you to meet other autistic people like yourself. Of course, only if you want to. I know Greg’s been giving you a hard time in school, so if you ever decide you want to meet Lianna, we can make sure Greg doesn’t do anything he shouldn’t, or arrange it so that he’s doing something else while you and Lianna hang out.

The cell phone weighed heavy in Mary’s hands as she stared down at the small, narrow screen, trying to absorb all that she was reading. She read it four, maybe five or six times, and it still didn’t quite settle. Her mouth fell slightly open as she read her father’s email to her. She didn’t know what she was feeling right now. Too many thoughts and feelings were fighting for her attention. Her brain was full and she didn’t know how to untangle everything that was in it. 

But…her father was saying he was sorry for everything, and that he genuinely didn’t know about the blog until Mary texted Reagan about it. In that moment, she instinctively knew that her father wasn’t lying. Why would he tell her about what was going on at home while she was gone if he was lying about knowing about the blog? Why would he even go to the trouble of reaching out to her at all if he…if he didn’t miss her or love her?

Her vision blurred, and she felt something wet on her cheeks. Bunny. When was the last time she had been referred to by that nickname? Reading the nickname, her chest felt heavy…yet warm. Regret settled into her gut. To think she had once thought he and Reagan were in on the blog and hated her as much as her mother did. How could she have let herself think that? All she had to do was ask them if they knew about it, or tell them about it, and they would have put a stop to it right away, just like how her father found out about ABA and pulled her out of there as soon as he found out. They would have believed her. They always did. Mary didn’t know if they’d believe that she was on some magic train, but with everything else, they never doubted her or dismissed what she said as just childish prattle.

A single, strangled sob escaped her throat as she read the email yet again. The rest of the world seemed so far away as she tried to untangle and process all that she was reading. For the first time since she got on the train, she yearned for her father’s warm, strong, loving arms around her. She yearned for his nose brushing against her black hair in that soft, slow way she always loved. She missed hearing his hearty laugh, hearing his stories about the people he dealt with at the casino even if she never understood a lot of the more complicated words he used, the way he’d help her with her homework, the times they’d do some roughhousing in the living room…and she couldn’t go back home. Not right now.

Mary looked down at her palm. A glowing green 20 stared back at her. It was so much closer to zero now than it had been when she first got on the train. It was only a matter of time before it’d reach zero, and she could go home. But her father mentioned that he and Dana were fighting a lot more. Mary wasn’t sure if she’d want to go back home and have to listen to them fighting. Her father was right. Coming back home now probably wasn’t the best idea. Now she had a new problem: How could she possibly respond to his email? Where and how could she even start?

Her thoughts were unceremoniously interrupted when her cellphone was swiped out of her hand.

“Wha—?! Hey!!” Mary snapped her head up, meeting the culprit’s eyes.

“What the hell are you looking at?!” Nora yelled as she scrutinized Mary’s phone, reading through Todd’s email.

Mary sprang to her feet, reaching for her phone, but Nora kept it out of her grasp. “Nora! Give it back! You’re not supposed to read somebody else’s email!” Mary yelled.

Nora paid the girl no heed, but Mary could see her features contorting into visceral disgust as she read the email. “You don’t actually believe all this crap, do you?” Nora asked, her voice oddly interrogative.

Once again, Mary jumped to try and grab her phone back, but Nora held it aloft, keeping it out of the younger girl’s reach. “He’s just trying to trick you!”

“No he’s not! You don’t know my dad! Gimme my phone back!”

Mary lunged at Nora once again, but the teenager sidestepped out of her way. Before she could reorient herself, Mary fell to the ground face first, and the impact made her chest rattle. She heard a cackle behind her. A malicious laugh that she knew all too well. Nora’s laugh sounded exactly the way Greg used to laugh whenever he would push her to the ground.

“God, what a joke! This guy actually thinks he can convince you to go back to him with all these cheesy after school special spiels?” Nora laughed at every sentence she read in the email. “Your dad’s a real tryhard, you know that?”

“Don’t talk trash about my dad!” Mary shouted, hoisting herself up and making another beeline for her phone. Once again, Nora held it up high so she couldn’t reach it.

Nora’s wicked smile turned into a scowl full of contempt. “I’m deleting this.”

Delete? Mary couldn’t let that happen. Her blood boiled once more, and she sprung into action. “No you’re not!!” With all the strength she could muster, she leaped onto the arm that was holding her phone and pulled down on it. It wasn’t enough to make Nora let go of her phone, but Mary could see that her grip was slipping.

“Get off me!” Nora yelled, using her free hand to pull on one of Mary’s braids. “I’m doing you a favor!”

The commotion roused Blanca and Vic from their sleep, and their eyes widened at the sight unfolding before them. Seeing that Mary was trying to reach for her phone, Blanca sprouted an arm and yanked the phone right out of Nora’s hand. Finally, Mary let go, and Blanca gave her the cellphone back. Mary’s chest hurt from all the screaming and heavy breathing, but more importantly, she checked to make sure the email was still there. Sure enough, it was. Relief washed over her as she held her cellphone close to her chest. But the relief was short-lived.

“You little bitch!” Nora screeched, reaching a hand out to try and grab Mary’s phone once again. This time, Mary stepped back and held her phone close, with Blanca holding a protective arm out to keep the teenager at a distance. “You ought to be grateful I tried to save you from being manipulated by that stupid email!”

“You’re not supposed to steal people’s phones or look at their emails! It’s an invasion of privacy!” Mary shot back, unable to fathom why Nora was convinced she was doing some sort of good deed when it clearly wasn’t. As frightening as Nora’s contorted, angry face was to look at, Mary wasn’t going to back down. Nora knew what she did, and Mary wasn’t about to let her claim that Mary was the one being difficult.

“Mary’s right, Nora. You had no right to steal her personal property,” Blanca asserted, her normally soft voice firm and stony, leaving no room for nonsense.

“Her parents are trying to make her go back to whatever miserable existence she had before! Probably making her go to stupid school and do stupid homework and not letting her hang out with her friends!” Nora broke into a tirade. “Her parents are trying to brainwash her into going back to them, doing their bidding, and robbing her of free will!”

Brainwash her? Mary had no idea why Nora was getting all these ideas in her head. Her father wouldn’t do that. He wasn’t some evil overlord in the cartoons who used magic staves to brainwash people. What even did “rob her of free will” mean?

“You’ve never even met Mary’s parents so you can’t claim to know what they’re like!” Vic retorted.

Nora remained steadfast. “But I’ve dealt with those kinds of people before! They lure you in with sweet lies and before you know it, you’re reduced to being little more than their slaves!”

None of this was making any sense. Did Nora even know what she was talking about? Or were the drugs she took last night messing with her brain? Mary figured the latter sounded more plausible, based on what she had heard about hard drugs and their side effects.

“I’m trying to save her from losing her right to free will! Her parents are manipulating her! I’m trying to make sure that doesn’t happen!” Nora bellowed, her pink streaks fraying with every movement of her head as she gesticulated towards the trio. “You need to delete that email, Mary. It’s nothing but lies. Propaganda engineered to make you believe that your only path in life is to be a slave to authority and nothing more!”

The gears turned in Mary’s head as she tried to process what Nora was saying. She didn’t know what the word propaganda meant, but she knew what a slave was. A slave was someone forced to do whatever their masters wanted, robbed of any autonomy, choices, or freedom, their backs lashed with whips. Authority was another world for adults and grown-ups. Gradually, Mary put the pieces together. Nora thought both her mother and father were evil, and is convinced they’re trying to hurt Mary. She’d be right about her mother, but not about her father. Mary’s teeth clenched as anger bubbled up inside her. Like Vic said, she had never even met her father, so how could she claim to know what her father was like? What makes her think she knows what’s best for Mary?

But more than that, Nora tried to make a decision for Mary that she had no right to make. Just that action brought memories of Dana doing the same things rushing back. Mary clutched her phone tight, clenching her teeth as rage rose up from within her. She didn’t need some teenage girl telling her what to do with herself and walking all over her! It was bad enough dealing with it from Dana. No way was she going to put up with it again.

“No! I am NOT deleting my dad’s email, Nora!” Mary yelled, pointing her index finger right at Nora. “That’s my decision to make, not yours! Whatever problems I have in my life are mine to deal with! Mine! Stop making everything all about you! You don’t even know what I’ve been through, so don’t claim you know what’s best for me when you really don’t! If I wanna delete the email, I’ll do it, not you, so back off and leave me alone! And you are never, EVER touching my stuff again without my say so! Got it?!”

An awkward silence fell on the quartet. That was enough to make Mary realize what she had just done. She actually told off a teenager—someone older than her, someone who she would normally be forced to defer to by virtue of age and wisdom—and stood up for herself. Nora was shocked into silence. No other words were exchanged. The only response Nora gave was a noncommittal shrug before walking to another corner of the clearing and sitting down on the grass with a grunt.

Mary’s fingers buzzed, probably from clutching her phone. But more than that, Mary felt…proud. Nora actually listened and backed off. Granted, Mary had a feeling Nora wasn’t going to just leave things be, and for all she knew, the teenager might try to pull this stunt again. A teenager with a short temper, drugs, and a loaded gun was dangerous if left unchecked. But damn, did it feel absolutely amazing to tell somebody off for once! It helped that Nora didn’t try to press the issue further. If Dana were here, Mary was sure she would have continued to escalate the situation. Mary wondered if this was what her father felt when he stood up to both Irene and Dr. Goldman way back when.

Her palm lit up. Mary lifted her hand up to see her number scrolling once again, stopping at a solid four. Vic crawled up her back and nestled on her shoulder to get a look.

“Oooh, lookit you putting your foot down!” Vic exclaimed with a proud grin. “Man, if you keep this up, you’ll actually be off the train fairly soon!”

Off the train. The words echoed in Mary’s brain as she looked down at her palm, remembering her father’s email. As much as she wanted to go home, she didn’t want to go back only to find her parents fighting a lot. Maybe her father was right. Maybe she wouldn’t be happy coming back home right now. Why would she, when Dana was doubling down on her beliefs about her own daughter? Her conflicting wishes waged war, taking up space in her brain.

There was also the matter of Nora. Why had she gone off on Mary like that? She had already proven earlier that she was in no mood to talk about her family or situation at home, so asking her about it probably wasn’t a good idea. But the fact that she owned drugs and a gun, along with having a volatile temper, was a series of huge red flags. Red flags for what, exactly? None of them knew. All they knew was that this didn’t bode well.

Had they made a mistake in allowing Nora to join them?

Todd sat on a metal chair on the front porch with a bowl of candy on his lap. Halloween was in full swing, and people began walking through the streets in all manner of costumes. Kids, teenagers, and adults. It was still light out, as new city regulations deigned that Halloween start earlier in the day, but the sky was streaked a brilliant vermilion, with specks of blue creeping in, so night wasn’t too far off. There had been quite a few kids who stopped by and got some candy already, and there were only about eight candy bars left in the bowl. Todd could tell this year’s Halloween was going to be a good one.

Except for the fact that Mary wasn’t here to enjoy it with them.

He couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy, seeing families with their kids walking through the street, laughing and enjoying the festivities. Mary had been looking forward to Halloween so much, and her witch costume was still in her closet. But she wasn’t here to go trick-or-treating like she and everyone else had planned. Todd silently chastised himself for being envious of other families. It wasn’t good to compare himself to others. He knew this, but the Mary sized hole in his heart seemed to grow exponentially by the minute. The world was moving forward…but for him, time seemed to slow to a snail’s pace.

“Mr. Summers!” A child’s voice called out to him.

Snapping out of his reverie, Todd raised his head to find Caitlin and Leo skipping onto the porch, candy bags in hand. Caitlin wore a long sleeved, tye-dye shirt, blue pants, light brown boots, a matching vest with tassels dangling from it, and pink glasses. So she followed through on her quest to dress up like a 1960’s hippie. Leo was wearing a full body Iron Man costume, though the helmet was tucked under one of his arms.

“Hola, Mr. Summers. Trick or treat,” Leo greeted him shyly.

Todd flashed a smile. “Hey, Caitlin and Leo! How have you two been?”

“About as good as can be, considering…” Caitlin forced a cheerful grin as she took a candy bar out from the bowl, as did Leo. Todd could see that they were trying to hide their sorrow over Mary’s disappearance, and he couldn’t blame them. They missed Mary just as much as he himself did.

Leo rummaged through his bag and pulled something out. It was a plastic food container with three square-shaped pastries inside, with one of them being coated in chocolate. “These are for you, Mr. Summers. Mama made some torrijas and wanted me to give some of them to you.”

“Oh…” Todd gingerly took the container, touched by the kind gesture. “Thank you, Leo. I can’t wait to try them.”

“My mom made something for you too!” Caitlin bent down to dig through her bag and pulled a similar container out. Hers had three thick slices of cranberry bread. “This is her cranberry bread. She says she hopes you guys don’t give up on finding Mary and that you can talk to her if you ever need help with anything.”

Tears pricked at Todd’s eyes as he took the other container into his hand. “Thanks so much, you two. Tell your parents thank you for the lovely gifts. By the way, your costumes look amazing.”

Leo gave a sheepish laugh, blushing from the compliment. In contrast, Caitlin’s expression darkened, her gaze and frown looking quite serious.

“Speaking of Mary…has there been any news? About where she is or if she’s okay?” Caitlin asked, her voice quavering a bit.

God, Todd wanted so badly to tell them everything. But would it even be right to tell a couple of kids that Mary was alive but still out there somewhere? Would it interfere with the investigation? So far, everything the police found was circumstantial at best, nothing truly concrete. The fact that Mary supposedly reached out to Reagan through texting was also a big question mark. Todd wanted to reassure the kids, but didn’t want to give away too much and risk compromising the investigation. More than that, he didn’t want to give them false hope. Besides, they didn’t need to know about Dana and the blog.

As much as Todd hated not being honest with them, he went with the most vague answer possible. “The police are investigating some new leads, but nothing concrete. They say no news is good news, right?”

Caitlin narrowed her eyes in disbelief, but accepted the answer regardless. “I guess. I hope she comes back.”

“Me too,” Leo added.

“Same here. You two best get back to trick-or-treating,” Todd suggested with a wave of his hand. “Thank you for stopping by.”

“You’re welcome!” Caitlin and Leo both bid Todd goodbye before running up the street.

A few more kids stopped by, and Todd’s candy bowl was completely empty. He went inside to both fill up the bowl and put the containers Caitlin and Leo gave him in the refrigerator. As he put them away, he looked over and saw Dana lying on the couch, one of her arms dangling off the side, completely limp. Her red cell phone was on her chest, and a screechy, staticky voice blared out from it. Voicemail. Several messages. All from the same person, it sounded like.

“Dana Summers, you can’t keep ignoring my calls forever! I only—” Beep. Message deleted.

“News people with cameras are hounding my house every day, my neighbors keep asking me weird questions, and my reputation is going south—” Beep. Message, deleted.

“You better take responsibility for what this is doing to my image! People are spreading rumors about me! Don’t you think you ought to—” Beep. Message deleted.

Eleven more messages followed, all of which Dana deleted with a look of resigned indifference. With all of them deleted, Dana put her hand down, and her cellphone slipped onto the floor. Todd reached out to catch it and put it on the footrest. Her black hair splayed out on the arm rest, and while the bags under her eyes began to fade, her cheeks looked slightly sunken in. She looked not just exhausted, but completely burnt out…and Todd had no idea how to help her. It was obvious that her mother, even far away, had some kind of grip on Dana that she couldn’t seem to escape. It was no wonder Dana was so viscerally scared of her.

Just thinking about all Irene had done made his blood boil. But this was not the time to wallow in anger.

“Can I get you anything, Dana?” Todd asked, kneeling down so he could see her at eye-level. Or in this case, couch-level. “Coffee or water?”

“No thanks,” Was Dana’s listless response.

A light bulb flashed in his mind. “Have you ever had torrijas before? Mary’s friend Leo brought some that his mom made.”

For the first time in what seemed to be an eternity, something resembling a wobbly smile flickered on Dana’s face. “That’d be lovely. Thanks.”

Todd brought the torrijas out, sitting back down on the floor as he opened the container. Dana reached out to grab the chocolate covered one, and Todd settled on the one covered in powdered sugar. It felt like French toast mixed with pudding when they tasted them, but it was sweet on their tongues. The Summers house was strangely quiet. Reagan was out trick-or-treating with friends, so it was just Todd and Dana minding the house. Quiet moments like this between them had become rare since Mary disappeared. As strained as their relationship had become in recent weeks, Todd couldn’t help but smile. He had missed just being able to spend time with Dana like this. Granted, he wished it would have been under better circumstances, but it was nice to have one moment with his wife that didn’t involve them arguing.

“...Todd?”

“Hm?”

“When you were young, what did you want your life to be like when you grew up?”

An out of the blue question, but he answered honestly. “I didn’t really have any real ambitions about what I wanted to become. I just liked reading books, doing coding on the computer, and doing whatever the hell I wanted,” Todd replied softly as he thought back on his younger self. “I was content to just be happy with whatever life sent my way, whether it be getting a high paying job or getting married and having kids. I’m grateful for what I have. I only wish Mary were here with us again.”

If he had been asked this question as a kid, Todd would have answered that he didn’t care where his life ended up. He was never gung-ho about wanting to be the best at anything, and he always hated the idea that one couldn’t be happy unless they were the head of some million-dollar company, something that a lot of teachers espoused and tried to push onto their students, him included. What was wrong with wanting to live a simple life and be content with that? Sure, his life wasn’t perfect, but Todd never regretted having Reagan and Mary, or how his life turned out.

The couch cushions shifted as Dana sat up, looking at him with wide eyes, like she saw lobsters coming out of his ears. Todd stood up to get the candy bowl, but he stopped upon hearing his wife’s voice behind him.

“...Why?”

“Why what?”

Dana scrambled out of the couch and stood up, her hair askew and eyebrows creased, balling her fists and clenching her teeth in renewed anger. “Why would you want to go back to what we had before?”

“What do you mean?” He immediately regretted asking that, as he had a feeling he knew what Dana was referring to.

“You seriously want to go back to a life where we have to constantly make sure Mary doesn’t throw a tantrum in public?!” Dana bellowed. “Where we’re constantly pinning her to the ground to get her to cooperate? Where people are looking at us, judging us, whispering behind our backs, and telling us we can’t discipline her correctly?! Where we have to always acquiesce to her every demand and let her have her way regardless of how we feel about it?!”

As much as Todd tried to control his anger, the fact that Dana was still convinced Mary was some kind of troublemaker, even with evidence proving otherwise, was too much to take. “Dana, you know as well as I do that none of that is true! Mary doesn’t have meltdowns for kicks and giggles, and a lot of the time you’re the one causing them by making a huge deal out of her stimming when it’s not necessary!”

“Oh, sure, blame it all on me! You’re not the one running yourself ragged trying to make sure she doesn’t drain us all dry!”

“Mary’s done no such thing! Why are you acting like it’s bad that she’s autistic?! She’ll always be that way! You can’t cure her no matter what you do! And frankly, I don’t want her to be cured!”

God only knew what Mary would turn out if she had never been born autistic. Mary wouldn’t be Mary without it. Todd didn’t want Mary to be anyone else except Mary. She’s been autistic from the beginning, and getting rid of her autism would be like getting rid of Mary altogether. Todd could never want that, and why Dana wanted it so bad, he didn’t know.

“It’s because of her that we can’t live the life of a normal family! You can’t tell me that you don’t wish things were different!” Dana snapped.

Different? How different? Todd couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Was Dana saying they were better off without Mary? One of her blog entries came back into his mind. Dana had mentioned that after a while, she felt relieved now that Mary was gone, claiming that she was little more than a leech who drained everyone of their energy. Did Dana never take the time to reflect on her actions even once? She was still convinced Mary was the problem and not her own actions. What was it going to take to convince her otherwise?

“The only thing I wish were different was that you hadn’t put Mary through ABA and all the trauma that those bullshit doctors made her endure!!” Todd shouted. He didn’t care that some of his spit flew into Dana’s face. He was seeing red all over again. “The only thing I wish was different was that you were actually supportive of her and love her and help her love herself in the way that she deserves!! I’ll never want Mary to be anyone except who she is! The same goes for Reagan, too! I don’t give a crap that she’s not like other kids! I don’t give a crap that we’re not normal! Normal’s a bunch of baloney anyway! Just because your mother tried to convince you that being normal is the most important thing ever doesn’t mean you get to do the same thing with Mary!!”

There, he said it. He didn’t want to bring up Dana’s mother, knowing it was a sore subject for her. But lately, he had a feeling that Dana’s problems accepting Mary as she was seemed to run deeper than just Mary being autistic. Even the mere mention of her mother rendered Dana silent, putting a swift end to the arguing. Todd took a moment to breathe, as he knew getting angry wouldn’t solve things. He had brought up the subject with her a few times before, but Dana shut them down every time.

What was the harm in bringing it up once more?

“Dana…I know your mother has always caused you problems. Still causing you problems even now,” Todd softened his voice, trying to be comforting and reassuring. He wasn’t sure if he was doing a good job at it, but he forced himself to continue. “There’s a lot from your past that you haven’t been able to really process or resolve. I think it’s bleeding into the way you treat Mary, and it’s not good for you, for Mary, for all of us. I think it might be good for you if you saw a therapist or a counselor. They might be able to help you deal with what you’ve been through and—”

“Don’t even!” Dana hissed. “I’m not crazy!”

“I’m not saying you are!”

“The fact you’re even suggesting I go to therapy says it all!” Dana shouted back. “Therapy’s for crazy people or people in the loony bin! I’m not crazy! I don’t hallucinate or see stuff that’s not there! They’ll put me on meds and make me out to be crazy when I’m not!”

Did Irene put those ideas about therapy into Dana’s head? Todd wouldn’t have put it past her if she did. Not only that, Dana had been just fine after she moved from Michigan and married Todd. She had started going back to her original nervous, self-effacing, deferential personality when Irene somehow found out where she lived and confronted them on their doorstep. Of course, it all linked back to Irene.

“Dana, that’s not what therapy is for,” Todd tried to reason with her, but even he knew she wasn’t going to budge. Yet he still tried to talk to her. Open communication was important in a relationship, right? “Therapy is meant to give you a safe space to talk to someone who can teach you healthy coping mechanisms to help you in your daily life. To help you process and reconcile everything that happened to you. One of my friends went to therapy to unlearn a lot of the things his abusive parents put him through, and it helped him immensely. I won’t force you to go, but I really think—”

“You said you wouldn’t change who I am!” Dana suddenly barked. “You told me once, on our first date…that you’d never hate me for not being perfect!”

Todd’s breath hitched. He had said that to her, way back when, after she told him about her issues with her mother. Why was she bringing that up now? Wait…his mind reeled. He did not like what Dana was spinning this into. 

“And I meant it. Your mother tried to make you into something you’re not. A tool for her own performance evaluation,” Todd reminded her, wrapping his arms around his wife to pull her into an embrace. Her lithe figure trembled under his arms, and he could feel her heavy breaths on his shirt. “And it hurt you. It still is hurting you, and affecting your life. I’m not suggesting therapy because I think it’ll change you into somebody different. I just want you to get the help you need so you can enjoy life and our family. So you can process what you went through. I don’t expect you to be perfect…and you shouldn’t expect Mary to be perfect, either. ABA didn’t help her. Trying to manhandle her every time she stims doesn’t help her either, and I know it doesn’t help you.”

Before he could speak further, Dana pushed on his torso and freed herself from his grasp, shooting a glare at him. “Let me guess, you’re gonna say my blog doesn’t help either, right?”

Todd said nothing, because she was right. He had planned on saying that. A resigned sigh slipped past Dana’s lips.

“I can’t, Todd. I can’t go to therapy. If I do, everything I’ve worked for will all be for nothing. It’ll be proof that I’m a failure as a mother. I can’t meet anyone’s expectations. If I can’t keep Mary under control…I won’t live it down. Not ever…” Her voice seemed so far away as she began wobbling towards the kitchen, her body swaying back and forth like she was drunk.

It was hopeless. Completely and utterly hopeless. He tried everything. Calling her out on her actions, suggesting therapy, explaining things to her…it was all for naught. His chest felt hollow. In a way, he knew this outcome was inevitable, but didn’t want to believe it just yet. Was this how it was going to be? Dana basically confirmed that she would never accept Mary as she was. Not only that, she seemed convinced that her only purpose in life was to listen to her mother above all else. Yearning, searching for love and approval that she’d never get.

Just like Mary.

No, he couldn’t put his kids through more of this. He knew he couldn’t force Dana to get help. It had to be her decision. But at this point, Dana made her decision…and all he could see playing out before him was his family falling to ruin because of that decision.

If that was going to be the case…there was only one option now. The option that he wanted so badly to avoid.

But he could think about it later. Now wasn’t the time. There was still candy to give out.

Chapter Text

A red door opened and the quartet stepped out from it in varied moods. Mary was smiling to herself, as were Vic and Blanca. In contrast, Nora stomped out of the car, her thick boots clanging against the steel platform. She had shoved her hands in her pockets, her lips were tightly pursed together, and her eyes were narrow and tight with contempt.

“I’m so glad you four made it through my test of courage!” A denizen stopped at the door, a teal-colored plush rabbit with one ear wearing beige trousers and a purple beanie on his head. The plush rabbit smiled and waved goodbye as the quartet exited his car.

“That was so much fun! Bye-bye, Khaki Bottoms!” Mary wasted no time waving back at him in gratitude, as did her companions sans Nora.

“Have a safe journey!” Khaki Bottoms exclaimed cheerfully before the doors closed shut.

Vic sat atop Mary’s shoulder, brushing the fur on his ear. “So that’s what a ball pit is like! I gotta admit, that was way more fun than I thought it’d be!” Vic said.

“I know, right? I love the Ball Pit Car!” Mary proclaimed.

The Ball Pit Car proved to be one of the safer cars they went through. All they had to do was wade through plastic balls, slide down plastic slides, and play some games to make it to the end, with Khaki Bottoms providing fun commentary as they did so. The last time Mary had been in a ball pit was when she was six, back at a McDonald’s that had one. Reliving the experience made Mary’s whole body buzz with joy, and she couldn’t help but flap her hands to revel in the buzzing further.

“It certainly was a new experience for me,” Blanca noted.

The trio was going to discuss it further, but a loud clanging noise cut off their conversation. Mary’s hands flew to her ears, as the noise made her bones rattle. All three of them turned to their left to find Nora kicking the bridge railing with her boot.

“Uuuugh! First that stupid puzzle car, now a stupid ball pit car?! I swear, if I have to go through another car with a bunch of baby stuff in it, I’m gonna put a cap in someone’s ass!!” Nora screeched, kicking the railing several more times.

Mary had no idea what the phrase “Put a cap in someone’s ass” meant, but based on the context clues Nora gave in her wording, it obviously meant hurting someone.

“It’s okay, Nora,” Mary tried to reassure her, smiling as she did so. “At least now that we’re done with those cars, we don’t have to go through them ever again unless you want to go backwards.”

All she got in response was a hard glare from the teenager. That was all it took for Mary to regret having said anything at all. But not long after, Nora gave a sigh, her expression softening as she did so. “Yeah, you’ve got a point there.”

Since the Ball Pit Car and the puzzle car didn’t have much in the way of actual danger, the quartet didn’t feel the need to stop and rest. Plus, it was still fairly early in the morning, so everyone had plenty of energy to burn. Excited to see what the next car would be, Mary darted ahead of the others, running across the bridge and stopping at the door so she could give them time to catch up. Once they did so, Mary turned the handle, and the doors to the next car opened.

The car was…little more than a classroom. Yellow paint covered every corner of the walls, from the tile floor to the ceiling, bright on Mary’s eyes. Sixteen wooden desks dotted the premises, with a similarly made podium at the front of the classroom. There was even an old chalkboard, complete with chalk and an eraser. The classroom wasn’t very big, with the door to the next car being just twenty feet away from them, along with another door on the left side of the room.

“Oooh! It kinda looks like my classroom at school!” Mary skipped inside and bent down to see if the desks had anything in them. The desk she looked at was empty, as were the rest of them.

“Huh, I always wondered what a school room looked like,” Vic hopped onto one of the desks, getting a feel for the wood underneath his paws.

Blanca adjusted her shape, changing into a humanoid form, so she could slide past the desks without issue. “It doesn’t look like anyone’s here.”

As soon as Blanca said that, the adjacent door opened, and in came…a large snail, whose body was just a head or two taller than Mary’s height. Said snail was orange, with its curled shell being a solid purple, flecked with pink dots arranged in a swirling pattern. The snail even wore a dark blue school graduation hat, complete with a gold tassel dangling from the top.

“Oh, visitors! Tis my lucky day!” The snail heartily greeted them with a cheery voice and a bright smile. “Welcome to my classroom! I’m so glad you’ve decided to join me for a lesson!”

Mary opened her mouth to speak, but Nora stepped forward and cut her off. “We’re just passing through. Not staying,” Nora told the snail with a terse tone before darting over to the door to the next car. The teenager pushed on the handle, but it didn’t budge.

“I’m afraid you won’t be able to open that, Miss,” The snail told her before turning to the trio, her smile unchanging. “You have to pass my test first before I can let you all through.”

“What kind of test?” Blanca inquired.

Mary shivered. “You’re not gonna make us write on a worksheet, are you? Do we need to have studied for it earlier?” Mary asked, hoping this wouldn’t be the case.

The snail shook its head. “No no no. Nothing in that nature,” The snail reassured before making its way to the podium, sprouting arms and hands, and taking a book into its hand before crawling back. “I need you to place your hands on this book. Doing so will allow me to gauge your learning level, and I’ll ask all four of you ten individual questions. If you all answer at least seven out of your ten questions correctly, you can exit the car.”

That was all? Mary breathed a sigh of relief. She was glad she didn’t need to study for whatever this test was earlier. She never did well with things like pop quizzes or unexpected questions unless they involved things she knew she could answer correctly. If answering seven out of ten questions was all that was needed, what was the harm in doing so? It was certainly better than running from active volcanoes or dealing with cross-eyed ducks. Mary wasted no time putting her hand atop the book’s leather cover. As her hand made contact, the book glowed in a faint aquamarine light, repeating the process as Blanca and Vic did the same.

The only person who didn’t put their hand on the book was Nora, who still tried to force the handle on the door to open. She clenched her teeth and made all manner of angry grunting noises as she attempted to move the handle once more. When the attempt failed, the surly teenager found herself panting and gasping for air.

“Nora! We’ll be able to get out of here if you answer ten questions she asked you!” Vic called out.

Nora shot him a red-eyed scowl and bellowed, “I am not doing this! You can’t make me!”

Undeterred by her anger, the snail simply slid up to Nora, grabbed one of her hands, and forced it down on the book. Nora tried to pull it away, but the snail’s grip was surprisingly strong. Mary had to wonder how something as slimy and squishy as a snail could have such a tight hold on Nora.

“Those are the rules, Miss. But don’t worry. You only need to answer at least seven out of ten questions I ask you correctly if you wish to exit,” The snail reminded her in an almost soothing, dulcet tone.

The snail loosened its grip, but Nora kicked the door before stomping over to a desk. Once Nora sat down, the snail went over to the podium, opened the book, and clapped its hands once. “Alright, everyone! Take whatever seat you like! The test begins now!”

Since there were no assigned seats, everyone decided to just pick a desk and sit. Mary sat up front. Unlike the classrooms back in the human world, this one was quiet, and including herself and the snail, there were only five people here. No noise, no children screaming, no teachers yelling, no harsh pencil sharpener machines. She hoped the questions wouldn’t be too hard.

“Now who should I start with?” The snail’s beady eyes scanned the classroom, scrutinizing the attendants before stopping right at Mary. “Miss Mary Summers, I have ten questions for you.”

“Huh?” The snail was having Mary go first? Her whole body went rigid. Just knowing she was first in the shooting gallery made her eyes blur.

“Question one: What state is the Liberty Bell located in?”

The Liberty Bell…Mary searched the recesses of her brain for the answer. It wasn’t long before she found it. She had studied this in school!

“It’s in Pennsylvania!” Mary proclaimed.

The snail flashed a bigger smile than before. “Correct! Now, question two: What do the number of rings in a tree trunk tell you about the tree?”

Another easy question! Mary’s body unclenched as she enthusiastically answered the question. “They tell you how old it is!”

To Mary’s surprise, the snail’s questions were surprisingly easy. It helped that they were things she had previously learned. What is the largest continent? What is a group of lions called? How many days are in a year? How many stripes are on the American flag? The only question she flubbed was a math question in the form of a word problem, but she had always struggled with those. Once the ten questions were finished, the snail took a pencil and wrote something in the book before looking back down at Mary.

“Congratulations, Mary Summers! You answered nine out of ten questions correctly!” The snail announced.

Mary could only laugh sheepishly under the snail’s praise. But pride swelled in her heart, knowing that she got at least most of them right. If her mother were here, she would have focused only on the question she got wrong, and not even help her get it right but instead mercilessly chide her for not trying hard enough or studying enough…even when Mary absolutely did all she could. At least the snail teacher didn’t go out of her way to make her feel worthless or horrible just because she got one question wrong.

“Alright, next up…Victorino Liberatore,” The snail directed her questions toward Vic this time. “Question one: Describe in detail the purpose of the lymphatic system.”

Unlike the questions Mary was asked, Vic’s questions were harder and required more elaboration. But he answered all of them with confidence, and not once did he ever stumble or hesitate. The questions were a lot more varied as well, ranging from hamster anatomy to things Mary never gave a conscious thought to, such as church architecture or that the deadliest blizzard in history happened in Iran in 1972. Blanca’s questions weren’t as varied, as a lot of them focused only on food, their makeup, and the very occasional facts about Earth she learned second-hand from passengers she met. She got two out of ten questions wrong, but managed to pass.

All throughout that time, Mary noticed that Nora kept the same posture and expression. She slumped against her seat, her arms were tightly crossed, she kept staring at the snail teacher with a stone hard glare, and her face was contorted into a scrunched up scowl that made no attempt to hide her contempt. Nora certainly looked like she wanted to be anywhere except here. Mary couldn’t help but wonder why Nora seemed so adamant about wanting to leave the car. Did she have bad experiences in school? Mary thought about asking, but seeing as Nora looked so irritated, the child decided to refrain. It wasn’t any of her business. Plus, she figured just about anything would set her off if she was this angry. It wasn’t worth incurring Nora’s wrath.

The snail, on the other hand, had no such qualms. “Alright, the last one. Nora McDonald, you’re last on the list,” The snail proclaimed before asking her questions. “Question one: What are the three main functions/ratios in trigonometry?”

Nora remained silent. She didn’t even attempt to answer. Or maybe she just didn’t want to. Mary didn’t know. Even the snail seemed perplexed.

“Do you wish to answer, Nora?” The snail asked.

The only response Nora gave was a hissing noise.

“Well…let’s move on to the next question then. Question two: The shortest war in the history of human civilization was between England and Zanzibar. How many hours did it last?”

Everyone turned to face Nora. Again, she did not answer.

“Uhh…question three!” The snail’s voice began to shake, and one of the eyes that protruded from her head began to twitch. “What does the R in USSR stand for?”

For the first time since she sat down, Nora finally spoke, but it wasn’t to answer the snail’s question. She slammed her fist down on the desk and bellowed, “I’m not gonna answer any of your dumb questions and that’s final! You’re not gonna brainwash me or indoctrinate me! I won’t let you, slugface!”

Brainwashing? Mary raised a quizzical eyebrow. Why would Nora think the snail was trying to brainwash them? She was pretty sure asking questions wasn’t how brainwashing worked. Then again, her only frame of reference for it was watching shows and movies where evil sorcerers would use magic to force people to do their bidding so they could use them in their evil plans.

The snail remained calm throughout Nora’s tirade. “You are misinformed, Nora. The purpose of this is to test your knowledge, and if you wish to move on to the next car, you must answer the ten questions I ask,” The snail reiterated.

Nora clenched her teeth. “That’s what all you mindless corporate slaves say! But I know the truth! You’re trying to rid me of free will so you can turn me into a slave who licks the boots of the corrupt government!” Nora yelled, pointing right at the snail.

Everyone exchanged confused looks. What in the world was Nora going on about? Nothing she said made any sense. Even the snail seemed confused by Nora’s tirade, but the denizen kept its cool. Instead of faltering under Nora’s anger, the snail remained steadfast and simply closed the book on the podium.

“Once again, that is not the purpose of this test,” The snail repeated. “You must answer seven out of ten questions correctly, or else you will not be able to exit the car.”

Come to think of it…what would happen if someone didn’t get that many answers right? Mary raised her hand. “What happens if we don’t get the questions right? Do we have to take the test over again?”

“Yes, and nobody leaves until everyone answers at least seven out of ten questions correctly.”

The snail said that sentence so casually, like she was telling them that they were in time-out. But she might as well have said they were being held prisoner.

“That being said, in the case of this one,” The denizen’s snail eyes wiggled in Nora’s direction. “I’ll see if I can think of a compromise. I would never be so barbaric as to hold you here permanently.”

Somehow, Mary wasn’t so sure about that, and upon seeing Vic’s body visibly tremble, she had a feeling he thought the same thing. The sweet, dulcet tone in which the snail said that absolutely did not help. The snail slid over to the wooden door, book in hand.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes. Do feel free to chat amongst yourselves,” The snail said as it closed the door behind them.

In a split second, Nora shot up from the desk, used both hands to lift it into the air, and with a scream of rage, threw the desk at the red door. The desk didn’t shatter upon contact, but the collision made the classroom vibrate, and Mary could feel it down to her bones. Her hands flew to her ears as the desk clattered loudly against both the door and the floor. The noise was too much. Nora’s scream, the desk hitting the door, the reverberation that followed…everything was taking up space in her head, making it throb. Mary slid out of her seat and curled into a ball as she got down on the floor, but that didn’t do anything to push away the rattling in her being.

“Nora, will you quit that?!” Vic yelled, hopping across the desks to get closer. “You’re scaring Mary!”

“I don’t give a shit!” Nora snapped back. “I’m getting the hell outta here! That damn snail is not gonna indoctrinate me and bend me to her will!”

Blanca kneeled down and gently poked Mary’s arm to get her attention. The touch was unexpected, but not invasive, nor did it scratch her skin like her mother’s nails would whenever she touched her. Mary had grown accustomed to the squishy, soft texture of Blanca’s skin, and always appreciated the feel of it. “Would you like me to take you to the corner of the room?” Blanca asked in a dulcet whisper. “I’ll protect you in case Nora gets violent again.”

Mary couldn’t have nodded fast enough. With her hands still on her ears, Mary found the energy to stand up as Blanca coiled an arm around her elbow and gently escorted her to the farthest side of the room. It didn’t do much to make the reverberation in her body recede, but knowing Blanca was here was reassuring.

“There has to be some other way out!” Nora growled as she ran over to the chalkboard and chucked an eraser at the door. Again, the door didn’t budge. “I’m not gonna be stuck in school for the rest of my life!!”

“Why do you want to get out so bad?” Mary asked. “The snail said we can’t leave unless we answer all the questions. If you just answer them, the doors will—”

“Don’t you get it?!” Nora yelled, running her hands through her purple locks in exasperation. “School is little more than a propaganda machine engineered to brainwash you into throwing away your personhood and becoming a slave to the government! Robbing you of your free will, your identity, and individuality as a person!”

Yet again, nothing she said made any lick of sense to Mary. What in the world was propaganda? But one thing she did know was that her own experience with school was nothing like what Nora was describing.

Like her, Vic wasn’t buying it. “And who exactly told you all that?” Vic inquired, crossing his arms.

“My boyfriend, duh!” Nora snapped, acting like Vic should have known. “Don’t tell me you’re actually buying into all the crap that snail is peddling! For all we know, it’ll hold us prisoner whether we answer the questions correctly or not! Everything it’s saying is probably some kind of secret code that claims one thing but means something else entirely!”

Even Blanca couldn’t stand to listen to Nora any longer, so she spoke up. “All the snail said is that if we each don’t answer seven out of ten questions correctly, we have to try again and again until we do. There isn’t some hidden double meaning implying that we’ll be imprisoned here forever even if we do get them right. They have no reason to lie to us.”

Nora gave a loud scoff. “Oh, like you’re Miss Know-It-All! If you wanna be stuck in this train car forever, fine! Don’t come crying to me if you can’t get out!”

In that moment, newfound rage shot through Mary’s veins like electricity going through wires. Did she even understand the things that were coming out of her mouth? They have a way to get out, but Nora was flat-out refusing to cooperate. She balled her hands into fists, and her legs trembled.

“You’re the reason we haven’t gotten out of this car earlier!” Vic yelled. “You’d rather ignore the obvious solution in favor of throwing a tantrum! You throwing stuff at the door hasn’t exactly helped, now has it?!”

A tense moment followed. No movement, no words from either side. Nora opened her mouth to try and say something, to retaliate or contradict him probably, but nothing came out.

The silence provided Mary the perfect opportunity to speak up. “Vic’s right, Nora. We just gotta answer the snail’s questions, then we can leave. It’s that simple. Why would it tell us that if it wanted to hold us prisoner forever and ever?”

As angry as Mary was at Nora right now, she made sure to keep her cool, mentally reminding herself not to break down or lose it. She needed to be calm and succinct. For once, Nora was at a loss for words.

Just then, the snail came sliding back into the classroom with a smile on its face. “Alright, I’ve come to a decision. Since three of you answered most of your questions correctly, I am willing to make a compromise in regards to Nora McDonald,” The snail said as it returned to the podium. “I’m not one to exacerbate a bad situation, so how about this? Nora, you can answer one question and one question only. If you get it right, all of you will be allowed to leave the car.”

One question. One question would be all it took to allow everyone to leave, Nora included. “Come on, Nora. It’s just one question,” Mary said. “This is the quickest way for us to get out, so let’s just get it over with.”

With her lips pressing together, Nora turned away from Mary, but she did take the time to put the desk she threw back in its original spot. Once she finished that up, she sat down at a different desk. “Fine. Whatever. Shoot.”

Mary, Blanca, and Vic all smiled in unison, relieved. Finally, things were getting somewhere. They could only hope Nora would actually follow through with answering whatever question the snail would ask, right or wrong answer.

“Alright, Nora. My question to you is this: Who was responsible for creating the first ever death metal band?”

Nora smirked and gave a noncommittal shrug before answering. “Tch. So obvious. Jeff Becerra, founder of the band Possessed.”

The snail closed the book on its podium. “Correct! Congratulations, class! You all passed the test with flying colors!”

As if by magic, the golden handles on the door turned clockwise. The quartet all stood up from their desks and made a break for the door. Nora was the first to get there and open it. Unlike all her other attempts, the doors opened wide, and everyone left the classroom car. Mary did take the time to wave goodbye to the snail before closing it behind her.

“Finally! Freedom!” Nora exclaimed, stretching her arms above her head. “God, I didn’t think I’d have to go back to anything even resembling school when I got on this train.”

“You really don’t like school, do you?” Mary asked.

“Hell no! School and me just don’t go together. Like, at all,” Nora retorted as they made their way across the bridge. “Non-stop homework, stupid tests, having to listen to dumb teachers drone on and on about stupid stuff, not being allowed to do whatever you want…it’s the worst!” Nora shoved her hands into her jean pockets, her boots clanging loudly against the metal bridge beneath her. “And don’t even get me started on all the propaganda it's trying to indoctrinate us with.”

Mary shrugged. She had no idea what the words propaganda or indoctrinate meant, and at this point, she didn’t dare ask. It wasn’t worth incurring Nora’s wrath. Mary began to regret asking Nora to come with them. If Nora was the kind of person who wouldn’t hesitate to get violent in someplace like the Classroom Car, God only knew what she was like outside the train.

Luckily for the quartet, the next car was literally the bottom of the ocean, only they could actually breathe underwater, and most of the denizens lived in floating bubbles. They decided to camp out there for the night, since the car itself seemed pretty safe. Mary had been deep in dreamland when a noise woke her up. At first, she thought she was dreaming, but after hearing the noise a few more times, she opened her eyes and looked around to find the source. Hearing it again, she turned to her left, where Nora was sleeping. The teenager had laid her head on her backpack, and her cell phone was next to her. The cell phone made a whirring noise as it vibrated. So that was where the noise came from. Assured that it wasn’t anything bad, Mary went right back to sleep.

The phone vibrated yet again. This time, Nora woke up, and with an irritated grunt, she grabbed it and set the phone to silent, wondering just what was making it go off. She brought her screen up and saw text notifications. Forty of them. All from the same person.

The sender was her mother.

Nora, please come home! We all miss you! We just want to know why you’re doing all this!

Everyone’s worried about you! We just don’t want you making bad choices that’ll hurt your future!

Please tell me you’re not with that Xander kid. He’s bad news! Nora, you’re better off not associating with him!

Running isn’t going to fix things. We all love you, but you need to take responsibility for what you did to your brother.

Nora, please know that I love you. Your father and Julius do, too. Just come home!

Nora’s face contorted into one of visceral disgust, like she had stepped on dog poop. She wasted no time deleting all the text messages her mother sent her. Several of which she didn’t even bother to read.

She only had one thing to say. “Piss off, dogshit.”

It had been a while since Dana used her blog. When she sat down and brought the webpage up, the notification icon informed her there were 40 new comments on varying entries. All of them condemning her for not only voicing her desire to sterilize Mary so long ago, but for having given up on looking for her altogether. Her stomach churned as she looked through the new comments. Many of them claimed they were also autistic and sympathized more with Mary than with Dana. What did they know, and what right did they have to critique her parenting? They weren’t her. They weren’t in her shoes. As far as she was concerned, they weren’t the ones who had to deal with Mary on a regular basis. Dana questioned whether they were even autistic at all, or maybe they were just pretending to be so for attention.

A sigh slipped past her lips. This was just too much. How did these people even find her blog to begin with? Did one of these so-called autistic people find it and share it with their friends in their outrage? That had to be the case. The only people she told about it were other parents at the support group she attended sometimes, nobody else. Maybe one of their kids found it. Too many possibilities to consider, and none provided a concrete answer. To think creating this blog had once brought her some semblance of joy. Venting her experiences to those who understood her pain, who sympathized with her rather than condemn her and decry her as a failure for not being the perfect parent that her mother wanted her to be, finding solidarity with others who were going through the same thing…it had been bliss. Looking at it now just made her feel like her stomach was being tied into a knot.

Where was the delete button? How could she delete comments again? Dana hadn’t done any such thing since she created her blog, and there was nothing that made her want to do so. Her head was swimming. Again, too much. Dana hastily closed her webpage, remembering that there were dishes to wash. She stomped over to the sink, turned the faucet on, poured some detergent in, and began scrubbing at a plate with a smiley face sponge. Reagan was at school, so she and Todd had the house to themselves until he started his shift at the casino tonight. Dana scrubbed plates and put them in the dishwasher, her hands covered in suds with every movement.

The sound of soft footsteps on the smooth tile floor came up behind her, but she didn’t bother to turn around, too focused on getting the dishes done. But she recognized those footsteps anywhere.

“Dana?” Her husband’s voice was soft, almost bordering on stuttering.

“What? Can’t you see I’m busy?” Dana snapped tersely.

“I just…want to talk.”

Dana put one plate in the dishwasher and moved on to scrubbing another one as Todd took a minute to collect himself.

“I’ve been doing some thinking, and…” She heard him take a deep breath behind her. “I think it’d be best if we took some time off from each other.”

Time off? From each other? What did he mean by that? Her hand continued to maneuver the sponge over the plate as Todd continued on.

“Things have been hard since Mary disappeared. On both of us. All we ever seem to do is yell at each other anymore, and I know that’s not what either of us want.”

Of course things were hard. Life had been nothing but hard on the entire family as far as Dana was concerned. What did he know about life being hard? He didn’t have to deal with Irene hounding him every single day. He didn’t have to constantly keep a tight leash on Mary. He hardly ever worried that Mary might do something that could cause a scene and make everyone in the neighborhood look at them with contempt in their eyes. Only now did Dana disentangle the meaning behind Todd’s words.

“...So you want a divorce. Is that it?” The bitterness in Dana’s voice was like poison. The plate she was washing slid out of her hand and bobbed in the water.

Todd fell silent. But in Dana’s mind, his silence spoke volumes. She put both hands on the edge of the sink, as if doing so would help her remain upright. Her eyesight blurred as the word that slipped past her lips echoed in her brain over and over again.

Divorce. A word her parents had browbeaten her into dreading ever since it entered her mental lexicon. In her parents’ time period, more couples separated than ever before. Her mother in particular absolutely loathed the very concept of divorce, viewing it as the ultimate disgrace for any family. In fact, Irene vehemently believed that couples should stay married no matter what, especially women, even going so far as to claim that if a couple divorced, it was the wife’s fault, even if evidence proved otherwise. After all, a woman’s only role in life was to please her husband, she claimed, and if the couple divorced, then the wife completely and utterly failed at fulfilling the role she was born to play. Or if the wife herself wanted or initiated the divorce, then she was a disgrace to society for not adhering to its norms and not thinking of her family’s needs.

Of course, the cold dread Dana felt was different from what Irene tried to drill into her head.

“Dr. Goldman said this would happen.”

“What?”

“He told me once that 80% of families who have autistic children get divorced because of the strain the children put on them.”

Something shifted inside Todd. What, exactly, Dana had no idea. But her heart jumped when Todd’s fist slammed the top of the oven behind her. The force of the impact made even the sink reverberate.

“NO!! No, Dana!! That’s absolute bullshit and that is NOT the reason I want a divorce!!” Todd shouted so loud, Dana’s ear drums rang. But he kept on going, his voice exploding all throughout the kitchen. “God, why the hell are you so obsessed with licking that shitty doctor’s boots?! Why do you continue to hang onto every one of his God damn lies?! Actually, yes, Mary IS the reason I want a divorce, but she’s not driving us apart! If she turns out to be alive and comes back to us, I’m leaving so I can protect her from you!!”

She couldn’t bear to hear any more of this. She slammed the sponge into the sink, not caring that it sent several droplets of water and suds onto her shirt, before swirling to face Todd with bloodshot eyes. “Don’t you get it, Todd?! Even now, Mary’s tearing us apart and she’s not even here! Who’s to say her being gone isn’t some plot she made up to mess with us?! She’s controlling us even when she’s not around!!”

“You honestly believe Mary would actually do that?! She’s nine, for God’s sake! A child!”

“Who has no care or empathy for what her actions have done to us!”

Todd ran both hands through his hair before barking, “You’ve got it backwards! You don’t give a shit about how YOUR actions have affected Mary all these years!!”

“I’ve sacrificed so much because of her! It’s because of her that we’re like this!!”

“The only thing you sacrificed is any chance you’ve ever had of building some kind of relationship with her!!” Todd snapped back. “And you can’t exactly say you’ve sacrificed anything when you’re the one who CHOSE to put Mary through years of non-stop ABA when you never needed to!! That was a choice YOU made!! Besides, Mary never exactly held a gun to your head, now did she?!”

“Don’t you remember my uncle’s funeral?! Her tantrum made me a pariah!! My mother’s always blamed me for what Mary did—!”

“You can’t keep holding that over Mary’s head forever!! She didn’t have that meltdown for shits and giggles!! The noise was upsetting her!!”

“I was the upset one!!”

“Can’t you see anything except in terms of how it affects you?!”

“No! I can’t! And I don’t see why you won’t!! You’ve got a lot of nerve claiming she needs protection from me, when I’m trying to protect everyone from her!!”

“Dana, this has to stop!” Todd gripped both sides of the marble oven top to try and ground himself. “You can’t keep using Mary as a scapegoat for all your problems! You need help! Counseling! Therapy! There’s no shame in admitting you need help!”

“I’m not the one with the problem! Mary’s destroying us!!”

“NO, DANA!! YOU’RE THE ONE DESTROYING US!!”

Todd’s vehement declaration knocked the breath right out of Dana’s lungs, and she just stood there, eyes wide and frozen. It was like hail stones had hung suspended in the air before clattering down all around them, pelting her with all the ferocity of a thousand knives. Todd’s face was red and contorted with rage.

“Just stop, Dana. Just stop,” He panted in between words, but finally lowered his voice to a more even, if ragged, tone. “Mary’s gone because of your unwillingness to love her and be supportive of her, and because of your pursuit for approval that you’re never going to get from Irene. It’s like…you’re stuck in this mud pit, but instead of trying to get out of it, you just want to sit there and make no effort to actually do anything about it! You claim you’re trying to help us, but all you’re doing is pulling us into that mud pit!”

For once, Dana said nothing.

“Mary didn’t come into this world to make you miserable, and you never needed to put her through ABA or consult Dr. Goldman, and everything else! You had people you could rely on! Myself, your brother, Edith, the teachers at Mary’s school, Dr. Glasgow…but you rejected us in favor of searching for a cure and putting Mary through hell.”

Todd’s whole frame trembled. Dana looked down when she saw his arm moving out of the corner of her eye. His hand reached for the wedding ring on his finger. His long, bulky fingers…slid it off, and he gently placed it on the counter.

“Dana. I want to help you…but I can’t do it unless you make the effort to help yourself.”

His voice shook, like he was on the verge of crying. But all Dana could see was the wedding ring he put down.

“I think I finally realize what the problem is now.”

Dana’s heart fell to the pit of her stomach. What was the problem? No, not that. Anything but that. Please don’t let it be what she thought he was thinking.

“You told me once that you didn’t want to become like your mother…but you’re a lot more like your mother than you realize.”

Somehow, this statement hurt even worse than his wanting to divorce her. Dana could only stand there, completely dumbfounded, mouth agape and her mind reeling. Her ears rang, and she barely registered something about Todd going to take a shower before watching him go up the stairs. No, Dana wasn’t anything like her mother! Was she? Her legs gave out as she fell to the kitchen floor in her shocked delirium, her brain replaying all the times she felt she had to manhandle Mary and keep her under control…alongside memories of her mother doing the exact same thing.

In some way, Dana knew this was the root of it all. She knew that she was, in fact, becoming exactly like her mother, the very thing she dreaded, but didn’t want to face it. The shame of having become the very thing she hated. The shame of not having met her mother’s expectations. Shame, shame, shame. So much of it, and for what? The chains shackling her down, the shadows whispering in her ear each and every day, telling her what a failure she was for running away from her destiny, her role as Irene’s clone and personal puppet…was that why she did what she did to Mary? To keep her mind off the voices in her head? To find something else to focus on to avoid the truth that had been staring her in the face, the truth that she adamantly refused to acknowledge?

Tears trickled out from her eyes. She couldn’t deny it all anymore. Todd was right. Absolutely right. About everything. Dana really was destroying the family. She thought she was keeping them from ruin. Dr. Goldman had convinced her that Mary would ruin them just by existing as she was. But that had never been the case, had it? Dana couldn’t bring herself to believe that she herself had been the problem all along. She thought she needed an enemy to face. Something weaker than Irene. Something Dana thought she could win against. Anything, anything to prove that Irene didn’t completely destroy her in the end. A sob escaped her throat. Then another, and another, and the next thing Dana knew, her hands covered her face as she broke into full-on wretched crying. There was no coming back from this. Dana knew it, and she could deny it no longer.

Dana had truly become just like her mother.

Chapter Text

“Woooow! We’re right up in the skyyyy!” Mary bounced on the clouds beneath her feet, screeching happily, unable to contain her excitement upon stepping into this new car.

The car was, indeed, a vast blue sky that stretched on for seemingly forever. More than that, it was a sort of magic dreamland where everything was made of clouds. Tall towers reaching into the heavens, literal castles with pointed spires on every structure, even the ground and bridges were made of clouds. It helped that the cloudy floor was solid, so there was no fear of falling through it and facing certain death. Mary couldn’t believe what she was seeing and feeling. The scenery was straight out of her imagination, or more specifically, out of one of the drawings Caitlin’s brother made so long ago. A world made entirely of clouds…to think that one of her biggest fantasies was actually real, and on a magic train, no less. Mary ran across the clouds, laughing and spinning like a top all the while, reveling in the realization that the dream she once thought could never be real actually was.

“This is soooo coooool! Look at how pretty it is!” Mary squealed as she ran and spun around, completely over the moon, her eyes shining with pure, unadulterated glee.

Blanca and Vic could only smile as they watched her run around, happy to see her so joyous and fully allowing herself to feel that joy. In stark contrast, Nora crossed her arms and stood by the entrance with a scowl, stealing a glance at a cloud funnel that almost resembled a tree. Truly, in Mary’s eyes, this car might be the closest thing to Heaven she’d ever see, only nobody here was dead. Thank goodness for that.

She stopped spinning when she saw something descend a few paces up, and her mouth fell agape. It was a pegasus. A majestic stallion with snow white fur and equally resplendent wings, topped with a shimmering silver mane. The winged horse gave a light whinny as it lowered its head down to munch on a puff of cloud. Mary couldn’t hold back another delighted screech, and her hands flapped to life upon seeing the fantastical beast. It was an actual pegasus, like in the stories! They really were real!

“Look look look, guys!” Mary cried out, pointing towards the stallion. “It’s a real live pegasus, with wings and everything!”

Unable to resist the temptation, Mary ran right over to the pegasus with a spring in her step. “Hello there! My name’s Mary! What’s yours?” She wasted no time brightly introducing herself.

The white stallion lifted its head, its long nose pointing at Mary as it cocked his head to the side, as if scrutinizing her.

“Your wings are really pretty! How do you—?”

“WHO THE BEEP ARE YOU AND WHADDAYA WANT?!”

Nobody expected that outburst coming from the pegasus, much less an outburst with an actual beeping noise in the middle of it. Mary was rendered completely speechless. Not only did it have a really deep, low-pitched baritone voice—which wasn’t bad, she reminded herself—but for it to scream at her face and swear at her. Her ears rang, and she was sure she felt spit fly onto her face. The trio ran right over to Mary, who could only whine weakly, her heart beating fast, unable to understand what she did wrong. Was she being too forward? Too loud? Did he just want to be left alone and she was too stupid to realize it right away? That had to be the case. Dana had always yelled at her about this stuff. She should have known better. The awful thoughts flooded back into her head as her eyes blurred. She barely registered Blanca’s hands gently gripping her shoulders and Vic shooting an angry glare at the pegasus.

“Dude, really? That’s the first thing you say when a kid says hi to you?!” Vic exclaimed.

An uncomfortable silence thickened the atmosphere with palpable tension, save for Mary’s barely contained sniffling. The disgruntled pegasus let out a huff. “Sorry, kid. Been havin’ too many of them passengers ogling me and my kin lately,” His tone was significantly softer than before, but it did nothing to alleviate Mary’s guilt or sorrow. “It’s been real annoying.”

Even Blanca couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “Ogling? That’s the term you’re using?”

“I’m sorryyyyy…!” Mary broke into a pitiful sob, overcome with guilt.

“If yer lookin’ for the exit, it’s down that way,” The pegasus extended his wing to point further down.

“Thanks for the intel,” Vic retorted, not even remotely pleased with the apology the pegasus gave.

“Does this train actually censor certain words you use?” Nora asked out of the blue.

“If a kid comes through here, yeah,” The pegasus told her tersely.

As if to test it out, Nora took a deep breath and tried to say something, but all that came out was a string of beeping noises. “Oh my God! It’s actually censoring my speech! The hell?!” She yelled afterward, her hands almost flying to her mouth, but they stopped near her chin.

Mary had a feeling she knew what word the train car was censoring, but at this point, she could care less about how the train car was doing so or why. Her brain was running a mile a minute, and the pegasus’ earlier yelling still echoed in her ears, rattling her bones. She couldn’t stay here. If this pegasus wanted to be left alone, so be it. Unable to remain where she was, Mary ran from the scene.

“Mary! Wait!” Blanca called out to her, but the girl had outrun her.

This was supposed to be fun. The pegasi she read about in fairy tales depicted them as being friendly. In a single instant, that pegasus denizen completely shattered the image she had of them. No, Mary knew she shouldn’t generalize them like that. Maybe they were like people; diverse in both personalities, strengths, and flaws. Who was she to assume they all acted the same? Mary didn’t know how far she ran or for how long, but her legs quickly began to throb, probably from having walked so much previously. She stopped to catch her breath, hiding behind a cloud that resembled a thick bush. It was the perfect place to hide, and there were no other pegasi nearby. Guilt weighed on her soul, and Mary began whacking both sides of her head with both hands.

“Stupid Mary! Stupid stupid stupid!” Mary hit the sides of her head over and over, punishing herself for her supposed misdeed. “You should have just left that pegasus alone! You just haaaad to run over and bother him! If Mom were here she’d yell at you for not figuring out right away that he wasn’t in the mood to say hi! You should know better, dumb Mary!”

Her head hurt, but as far as Mary was concerned, she deserved to hurt and feel the pain she inflicted on herself. She deserved to be punished for not knowing that the pegasus was in no mood to socialize. But how could she have known? She wasn’t a mind reader. Dana had scolded her for similar things on multiple occasions, even when Mary had no way of figuring out what someone’s state of mind was. People were fickle like that. One day she’d be told that it was polite to greet someone if they said hi to you, but another day when she’d try to do so, they’d get mad and not want to be bothered, and she’d still get scolded for it. Why even bother following the social rules if you just get scolded whether you follow them or not? Mary hated it. She hated how they always changed, yet she was the one who always got punished, even when she did what she was supposed to.

Even a fantasy creature deigned Mary as a nuisance, all because she said hi and complimented his wings. Mary cried into her arms. She didn’t know why she even bothered anymore. That was when she realized why she found herself so upset at the pegasus yelling at her. Dana used to do the exact same thing, yell in Mary’s face really loud whenever she supposedly did something she shouldn’t. Her face would be so close, she couldn’t see anything, and even when she turned around, Dana’s hand would force her to face forward, make eye contact, and Mary didn’t like seeing her mother’s angry face. Her yelling was like explosions going off all around her, drowning out everything else. Remembering those awful memories made Mary cry even more. Maybe her mother was right. Maybe all she did was cause problems just by being around. Or being autistic.

Unbeknownst to her, the number on her hand crawled up to a 12.

“Hm? You okay, kid?”

An unfamiliar voice jolted Mary out of her reverie. She scrambled backward, her teary eyes wide with fright as she found herself staring right at the source of the new voice: A lone black pegasus with brown eyes.

Immediately thinking he was like the previous pegasus, Mary shrunk into the cloud bush and pulled a piece of it in front of herself, holding it up like it was a shield. “I’m sorry! I promise I won’t bother you! Please don’t yell at me! I’ll leave right away!” She expected the black pegasus to yell at her the instant she saw it.

But no such response came. Instead, the pegasus cocked its head and said, “I wasn’t going to.”

Mary couldn’t bring herself to believe him. She kept holding the piece of cloud up, putting it between herself and the pegasus. For his part, the black pegasus kept his distance, remaining where he was.

“Wait, wait. Let me guess. Did a pure white pegasus stallion yell at you when you said hi to him?”

How did he know that? Mary gave a slow nod.

“Tch. No surprise there. Don’t pay Howley any mind. He’s popular with passengers, but he hates the attention, and his habit of yellin’ at people even when they’re nice don’t exactly help, y’know?”

So Howley was the white pegasus’ name.

“I told him his wings were pretty. I like pegasi, and I just wanted to say hi. My mom says it’s polite to say hi to people. I didn’t know he was in a bad mood,” Mary sputtered.

The black pegasus gave a huff. “He’s always in a bad mood, so it ain’t you. Trust me. He gives me a hard time, too.”

Mary gradually let go of the cloud piece she held on to, and it retracted back into the cloud bush. She instead removed her backpack and held it close in an attempt to push the guilt out of her. It didn’t help much, but she appreciated the black pegasus’ attempts at comforting her nonetheless.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t be bothering you. Maybe coming here was a bad idea…” Mary mused.

“Naw, kid. A bad idea is pissin’ your wife off so much she gets back at you by eating your entire tomato stash. Happened to my friend Alfred this past week. It was kinda funny, though. She ate three days’ worth of tomatoes in one sitting. Imagine that!”

“Huh?” Mary cocked an eyebrow. Was that his idea of trying to cheer her up? She did find herself picturing a horse eating a huge pile of tomatoes. The image her brain conjured was admittedly absurd, and she couldn’t help but laugh a little. It was certainly better than Howley’s lack of an apology.

The black pegasus flashed a grin. “Well, glad to know that stupid story cheered you up a bit.”

Gradually, Mary’s body relaxed. This new pegasus was much nicer than Howley. “Yeah. Thanks. My name’s Mary,” She told him.

The black pegasus ruffled his wings a bit. “You serious? A friend of mine is named Mary! Anyway, I’m—” He was about to introduce himself, but someone calling Mary’s name cut him off from doing so.

“Mary! There you are!” Vic bounded behind the cloud bush, having successfully tracked Mary down, with Blanca following from behind. “You okay? That white horse shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. He was way out of line.”

“I agree,” Blanca asserted.

Mary sniffed before wiping a stray tear from her eye, smiling as she did so. “I’m feeling better now. This nice pegasus cheered me up!” Mary stood up and pointed right at him, But when she turned to face him, something seemed…off.

Earlier, the black pegasus was relaxed and spoke in a cheerful yet laid-back tone. Looking at him now, his whole body turned rigid. His brown eyes were wide as saucers, brimming with abject fear, like he saw a ghost. The black pegasus walked backwards a few faces, eyeing the trio like he was in mortal danger. That was odd. Mary couldn’t fathom what prompted this sudden change.

“Are you okay, Mister? These are my friends—” Mary tried to introduce her friends to him, but the black pegasus interrupted her.

“I just remembered I got some business to take care of! Damn foals at the daycare are probably runnin’ my friend ragged! See ya—” The black pegasus stammered, turning around and extending his wings to fly away. But he didn’t get a chance to take off.

“Wait!” Blanca called out, her voice making the pegasus freeze in place. “Are you…Shiro?”

Shiro? Mary and Vic exchanged confused, wide-eyed looks. Wasn’t that the name of her missing son?

“You smell like vanilla. I know that aroma,” Blanca said, her voice adopting an uncharacteristically serious undercurrent. But Mary could hear it trembling a little bit. Was it out of relief or worry? “Only us marshmallow denizens have that scent, and I know my son’s scent anywhere.”

Mary sniffed the air. “I don’t smell anything.”

“Me neither,” Vic chimed in.

A palpable silence fell on the quartet…until the black pegasus let out a huff. “Tch. Of all the things I should have gotten better at trying to hide, it's my frickin’ scent. You got me.”

In that moment, the black pegasus—Shiro—began to change shape. His wings and legs retracted into his body, as did his face and neck. His color changed from black to white, and in an instant, the pegasus had changed into a giant marshmallow as big and tall as Blanca. Mary and Vic’s mouths fell agape. They looked so much alike that they might as well have been mirror images of one another. But Shiro’s eyes folded into narrow, angry slits, with a tight frown reinforcing it.

Nobody could believe it. To think Blanca’s missing son wound up being here all along! And that they managed to find him so easily without even trying. But Mary and Vic had a feeling this reunion probably wasn’t going to be a happy one.

“Shiro. Listen, I—” Blanca opted to speak first, but Shiro cut her off with a yell.

“So it wasn’t enough for you to try and keep me in that damned prison?! You decided to try and stalk me and drag me back kicking and screaming?!” Shiro bellowed. On instinct, Mary’s hands flew to her ears to protect them, but it didn’t do much to help. “Well, guess what?! I’m never going back to that hellhole!! You’re not gonna dictate how I should live my BEEPing life!!”

There turned out to be no “probably” about it, if that was Shiro’s reaction. Mary tried to run, but her legs had turned to jelly. She couldn’t stand up, both from the exhaustion of having ran earlier and from the noise overwhelming everything around her.

“I’m sorry, Shiro, and you’re right,” Blanca’s voice was timid. Meek, trembling. She looked close to tears. “I understand I brought this upon myself for being such a lousy mother for so long. You have every—”

“You’re damn right you were BEEPing lousy!!” Once again, Shiro cut her off with a roar that was overflowing with contempt he made no attempt to hide, not letting her get a word in edgewise. “You tried to lock me in the house just because I said I wanted to leave the Sweets Car and explore the train, even laying on top of me and nearly suffocating me, and you think sorry is just gonna fix everything?! BEEP you!! Just because you’d rather hide in that damn candyland and hate anybody who doesn’t look like you doesn’t give you the right to make me do the same!!”

It was too much. The yelling was too much. Unable to escape, Mary curled into herself, forming a scared, trembling ball. Vic could see how uncomfortable she was. But what could he do? Shiro was screaming his head off, and Blanca made no effort to defend herself against his tirade. Completely oblivious to Mary’s discomfort and Blanca’s sorrow, Shiro continued his virulent tirade.

“To think you’d go this far just to drag me back there. That really says a lot on how pathetic you are,” Shiro’s voice lowered to a cruel, bitter drawl. “I’m not a kid anymore. You can’t force me to bend to your whims! If you think—”

By this point, Vic had enough. “Shut up, will ya?! Blanca’s not here to force you to go back to the Sweets Car!! We’re just passing through!!” As much as Vic didn’t want to do so, knowing how much Mary hated it, the hamster yelled as loud as he could, cutting off the marshmallow’s rant.

Shiro huffed out a disgusted scoff. “You expect me to believe that when she’s literally right here?” He sprouted an arm to point right at his mother. “Why else would she even leave the damn Sweets Car?!”

“She’s not here to take you back, though!” Mary exclaimed. Similarly to Vic, she could no longer bear to listen to Shiro talking about Blanca so cruelly. Even if Blanca had admitted to having not been the best mother to Shiro—the younger marshmallow did have a right to be angry with her—he was wrong about Blanca’s reasons for sticking with Mary. “She’s helping me and Vic through the train! That’s it! If she really—”

“Vic. Mary. Please stop,” Blanca put a hand on Mary’s head, gently silencing her. Even Vic and Shiro were shocked speechless by Blanca’s gesture. The marshmallow squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to hold back tears. But Mary could feel her hand shaking from atop her head.

“He’s right. About everything,” The marshmallow admitted in a broken voice. “I was blinded by my own selfishness and prejudices. I refused to acknowledge what was right in front of me out of a sense of misguided superiority. I literally tried to imprison my own son because I convinced myself he’d die if he so much as took two steps out of the car. I made no effort to try and understand him or even support him. Don’t bother defending me. I don’t deserve it.”

Nobody else said a word. Blanca just talked, letting her feelings out. Shiro didn’t even have it in him to yell like he did just earlier.

“Shiro. I don’t expect you to forgive me or trust me. I have no right to ask that of you,” Blanca continued on. “All I want to do is tell you how sorry I am, and that I’m so…so relieved to see you’re okay, and living your best life.”

She removed her hand from Mary’s head, and a wobbly smile blossomed on her white, squishy face. “That’s all. I promise I won’t bother you any more after this. The three of us are just going to spend the night here, as we’ve had a long trek through the train. Come on, you two,” She gently nudged Mary and Vic closer to her. “Let’s find a place to stay for the night.”

There was no way Mary and Vic could refuse. Not after that. Blanca walked away from her son, and Mary and Vic followed from behind. But Mary turned her head back to cast a confused, almost hesitant glance behind her, seeing an equally confused Shiro continuing to stand there, almost frozen in place. Was he processing his mother’s…graceful rejection, just like Mary and Vic were? She couldn’t help but wonder.

It was surreal, seeing Blanca so weak and vulnerable, when she was always so patient yet strong, gentle yet unyielding. One thing Mary always liked about Blanca was that no matter what situation they were in, she always carried herself with grace. Even as her son said awful things to her, she handled his rejection so gracefully. She didn’t try to make the situation all about herself, nor did she try to claim it was all Shiro’s fault. Instead, she just…apologized, said what she needed to, and let him be.

Dana had never done anything like that, even when it was clear she was in the wrong.

“By the way, where’s Nora?” Vic asked out of the blue, the question pulling Mary out of her reverie.

“She went to talk to some pegasi,” Blanca informed him, her wistful, sorrowful tone unchanging.

Laughter echoed in the air. Mary looked to her left and saw Nora merrily chatting with a group of pegasi. Her jaw fell agape. Now that was surreal. When did Nora ever smile like that? Mary couldn’t remember seeing her ever smile the entire time they knew her. She wondered if Nora had made friends with them. If that was the case, Mary was happy for her. Still, her heart hurt for Blanca. Was there anything she could do to make her happy? She wasn’t sure. Or did Blanca want space to process her sadness? Mary could relate to that. Then again, Blanca always gave Mary the space to cry or process her own sorrow. Maybe now it was time for Mary to do the same.

But was it okay for her and Shiro to leave things like this?

For the first time in his life, Greg Kesserling found himself alone and friendless.

Another day of school had started, and instead of going over to hang with his friends at the bleachers, he simply sat underneath a tree, pulled out his sketchbook, and began drawing a new picture. After a short while, he stole a glance at the blacktop, watching longingly as his former group of friends chatted amongst themselves. Normally, he would be among them, but ever since Mary’s disappearance, his friends had drifted away from him. No, it wasn’t Mary’s disappearance. He could no longer deny it. It was his callous attitude about it. The day after the fight he had with Caitlin, Tyrus and the rest of his friends began to distance themselves from him. At first, Greg wasn’t bothered, but when they didn’t even talk to him during lunch, and later excluded him from their games during recess, he started to feel the rift. It went on for days, and at some point, Greg confronted Tyrus about it.

“What’s with you?! You’ve been avoiding me all week! Why don’t you talk to me anymore?!” Greg had yelled in Tyrus’ face, unable to comprehend why his friends began avoiding him.

Tyrus’ response was blunt, yet eloquent. “Dude, ever since you started playing that game, you’ve been acting like this rude, annoying edgelord. It’s like you’re not even yourself anymore. You’re turning into somebody we don’t even know.”

“So? I’m trying to act more like Zion Storms. He’s cool!”

“That’s why you’ve been stealing peoples’ stuff, yelling at people all the time, and even saying you wish that Mary should die? While she’s out there somewhere, missing or even kidnapped? Do you even realize how cruel you’re being?”

Greg tried to come up with a response, but couldn’t think of anything. The sight of his friends’ disappointed face made him falter in a way nothing else had. It was almost as painful as seeing his parents’ faces when they were angry at him over something.

“You used to be cool,” Tyrus told him tersely. “But now you’re an edgy poser. A heartless one, at that, and I don’t wanna be friends with somebody who wishes somebody who’s missing should die.”

With that blunt rhetoric, Tyrus turned on his sneaker heel and walked off to join his friends. At the time, Greg had chalked it up to Tyrus being a straight-laced stick-in-the-mud and was being dumb. If that was how he felt, then fine! Greg didn’t want to be friends with Tyrus anymore anyway! But a few days later, he had that talk with Mr. Bryant. Only then did Greg realize that Tyrus was right about everything. All acting like Zion had done was turn him into somebody he wasn’t, and saying all that he did made his friends disgusted with him. Why would they want to remain friends with somebody who wishes Mary—who is still missing—should die? Now, he didn’t blame them for drifting away from him. He had brought this on himself. As far as Greg was concerned, the shame he felt and his current loneliness was an apt punishment for him. Far more so than the week-long grounding he got from the fight, along with being denied his video games due to all the other things he did, like bully Mary and steal from other kids.

Although he told Mr. Bryant he’d apologize to his friends for being a jerk, whenever he attempted to do so, he lost his nerve, so he never found the chance to approach them. He would see Tyrus and his friend group, and just like that, images of their disappointed faces, full of scorn and dislike, would flash into his mind, making his blood run cold. Greg never even made any attempt to win their friendship back. What was the point? They made it clear they didn’t want to be friends with him anymore, so what right did he have to try and change their ways? Saying sorry probably wouldn’t change anything. They moved on. Maybe it was better this way. He didn’t even have it in him to go out and play during recess anymore. After lunch period ended, he’d just go into an empty classroom and do his homework. As much as he hated homework, it took his mind off the pain and loneliness he brought upon himself.

The school day seemed to move faster when Greg focused solely on his lessons. He never considered himself a top student, but his grades were good enough to get by. If he wanted to be a game designer when he grew up, he couldn’t afford to fail his classes after all. Greg threw himself into his schoolwork with an almost desperate energy. For the first time in a while, he had no desire to act more like Zion Storms. He just wanted to get through the day without causing any trouble. Then, just five minutes before art class ended, the teacher, Mrs. Palencia, made an announcement.

“Children? I’m sure you all know that Mary is still missing, and there’s still no news about her whereabouts,” Mrs. Palencia told them. “Mr. Bryant and I had a discussion about it the other day, and we had an idea.”

Greg stared down at his sketchbook, refusing to look ahead.

“We’re sure that Mary’s parents and big sister are worried sick about her. We all want Mary to come back safe and sound, so here’s an idea,” Mrs. Palencia elaborated. “Mr. Bryant is planning to visit the Summers’ family soon, and I was thinking you all could make handmade cards for him to deliver to her family. You could write things like “Come back soon!” or draw pictures, or tell Mary’s family that you’re praying for her safe return. I think they’d be very happy to know that there are people out there who care about her.”

One kid raised his hand. “Is this a homework assignment?”

Mrs. Palencia shook her head, her brown curls bouncing as she did so. “Nope. It’s completely optional. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. We won’t force you. But feel free to give it some thought. Mr. Bryant isn’t planning on visiting them until next week, so for anyone who wants to make something, bring it in before Friday so I can give it to him before his visit.”

When everyone got back to homeroom afterward, before the final bell rang, the kids immediately began talking amongst themselves.

“Are you gonna make a card, Caitlin?” Leo asked his seatmate.

“Of course, and I’m gonna have my brother help me with it!” Caitlin exclaimed, pumping her fist into the air. “What about you, Leo?”

Leo sheepishly looked down at his empty desk, averting her gaze. “I’m not good at drawing, but I was planning on making something out of construction paper. Maybe a Buneary themed card. I know how much Mary loves Buneary the Pokemon,” He said.

“Great idea! Maybe we can work on them together!” Caitlin suggested, her voice brimming with cheer she hadn’t had in a while. “Let’s ask our parents if we can meet up at my house.”

“Sounds like a plan!”

Making a card for Mary’s family…maybe that would help? Greg didn’t know. But it’d be a good way to both pass the time and apologize to Mary for picking on her so long ago. If she came back, that is. Plus, sending a card to Mary’s family indirectly would spare him the shame of having to face them in person. He didn’t think he’d be able to handle seeing Mary’s parents. They probably already knew that he had bullied her. For all he knew, they might not even accept the card he’d make. But he had to do something to make things right, didn’t he? With new resolve in his heart, Greg made his way out of the school building as soon as the bell rang.

He took one step onto the grass before he heard a yelp a little further up. A kid had tripped on a tree root and fell, his books and notebooks scattered all over the place. Greg recognized his round glasses and Batman backpack anywhere.

“Darn it!” Tyrus Jensen groped around for his missing glasses. They were only a foot away from him, but he couldn’t see them.

As much as he didn’t want to approach his former friend, Greg knew he’d regret not helping him. He ran over to Tyrus’ glasses and handed them to him.

“Here ya go, Ty,” Greg said. “I can help gather your stuff, too.”

“Thanks!” Tyrus wasted no time putting his glasses on, his vision clear once again.

Greg gathered Tyrus’ books and handed them to him once they were all in order. The two of them stood up, their eyes locking, face to face. Now he was really trapped. But Greg had to admit, it was nice seeing his former friend again.

“I owe ya one, Greg.”

“It’s fine. Look…” At this point, Greg knew he couldn’t put it off any longer. The red haired boy sheepishly put a hand behind his head and sputtered, “I’m sorry I’ve been such a jerk lately. To you and to everybody else. I shouldn’t have said and done the stuff I did. Especially about Mary being gone. I guess…I took acting like Zion Storms a bit too far, huh?”

Greg mentally braced himself for the incoming result, which would likely be either Tyrus walking away or telling him off a second time. He still remembered in vivid detail Tyrus’ parting words and how he walked away without looking back. Even if his apology wouldn’t be accepted, Greg would have accepted Tyrus decided he still didn’t want to be friends—

“That’s okay! I’m glad you’re back to your old self again!” Tyrus effused.

Wait, what? Greg’s jaw fell agape. That wasn’t the reaction he expected at all.

“Yeah, I will admit I like you better when you’re not trying to be an edgelord. It’s just not you, y’know?” Tyrus told him. “And I do kinda miss hanging out with you, too.”

He missed hanging out with Greg. Those were words he didn’t think he’d ever hear again. So Tyrus still wanted to be his friend after all! It took everything Greg had not to break down crying. He let out a big sniff before sheepishly admitting his true feelings.

“I miss hanging out with you too! So…wanna be friends again?”

“Sure! Without the edgelord act, though. By the way…” Tyrus changed the subject with a smile. “I was actually thinking of asking you to help me make a card for Mary’s family. I’m not good at drawing like you are, so…” Tyrus twiddled his fingers together upon relaying his quandary. “Do you wanna?”

“Are you kidding? I’d love to help!” Greg gave a joyful jump before shouting his answer louder than intended. “How about during recess, tomorrow?”

Tyrus nodded. “That’d be perfect!”

With their friendship newly restored, the boys waved goodbye before leaving school for the day. Greg walked to school, like most kids in the area, and his house was only a few blocks away, so he didn’t mind the exercise. It helped that his house was very easy to spot on his street. The paint on his house was an obnoxiously bright blue, and the front porch had a bench swing on it—the only house to have one. Greg pulled his house keys out of his bag, unlocked the door, and made his way inside, zipping for one particular room.

“Lianna? You here?” Greg called out as he ran down the hall.

“Greg? Is that you?” His big sister Lianna poked her head out from her bedroom door, her red curls cascading down the side of her neck as she did so. “What’s up?”

“You’re not doing anything right now, right?”

Lianna shook her head. “Nope. Just checking if that anime figure I ordered is gonna come in today or not. Plus, I already got all my homework done. What do you need?”

“Well…” Greg wasn’t sure where to start. But he pushed on. “You know one of my classmates went missing earlier in the month, right? Mr. Bryant suggested that everyone make cards for her family so he can deliver them to her parents. Y’know, saying “Come back soon” and “We miss you” and all that stuff. I’m planning on making one right this minute, and…” He shuffled his feet together. “I was wondering…if you’d like to help me with it.”

As much as Greg liked his big sister, he was often reluctant to ask for her help for just about anything. Mainly because she was in high school and often had a lot of work to do, which usually stressed her out, so he tried not to bother her most of the time. When he tried acting like Zion Storms, he would lash out whenever she offered to help him with things, assuming she was treating him like a baby who couldn’t handle himself—though Zion hated people helping him because he thought he knew best about everything and refused to listen to others in general. Of course, Greg learned later that his assumption about Lianna’s intentions wasn’t true. Greg’s face warmed and flushed red. Maybe this was a bad idea.

“Sure! I’d love to help you!” Lianna exclaimed, clasping her hands together. “Wanna work on it in your room or mine?”

Or not. Greg smiled as he invited Lianna into his room, as it had all of his art supplies.

“I gotta admit, I am kinda surprised you wanted to do this,” Lianna said as she sat down on the floor. “I thought you hated Mary. You were always complaining that Mr. Bryant gave her special treatment.”

Greg clenched his teeth together as he pulled out his sketchbook. “I don’t think that anymore.”

Lianna flashed a grin as she ran a hand through her younger brother’s hair. “Hey! Quit that!” Greg protested, but he didn’t try to push her hand away.

“Glad to see you’re growing up a bit, little bro!” Lianna effused. “I’m betting it’s because Mom, Dad, and I gave you hell over it when Mr. Bryant told us about you picking on her!”

“Shut up! I promise I won’t do it again! Okay?” Greg complained.

“Oh, I’ll make sure you won’t. I’m your big sis. It’s my job to make sure you don’t do anything stupid and tell you off if you do stuff you shouldn’t! I wouldn’t be a good sister if I just let you run wild, now would I?”

If Greg had still tried to act more like Zion, he would have dismissed her concerns or treated her the same way he did Mary. But in a way, he was glad his family tore into him for his previous bullying ways. God only knows what would have happened if he refused to listen to them or see the error of his ways. Or not had that talk with Mr. Bryant. He didn’t want to be that kind of person anymore. Not after how badly things had turned out with his friends.

“So, what did you want to draw?” Lianna asked, changing the subject back to making the card.

Greg pulled out a big box of colored pencils from under his desk. “I heard that Mary likes rabbits and pegasi, so I thought I’d draw a rabbit riding a pegasus and write that I’m sorry for having been so mean to her.”

Lianna went quiet for a bit as she looked through Greg’s sketchbook. Then she said with a smile, “I bet she’d like that a lot. Let’s get started, shall we?”

Sleep eluded Mary that night. Although they managed to find a patch of cloud to sleep on, and it was very comfortable, Mary tossed and turned even when she tried to stay still. Every hour or so, she found herself waking up, her mind plagued by the scene she witnessed yesterday. Shiro and Howley’s yelling still echoed in her ears long after the fact. But more than that, she was worried. Worried about Blanca and Shiro. Shiro was convinced that Blanca hadn’t changed since he left, but Mary knew that she did. Blanca had basically confessed to everything after all, and Mary knew she was telling the truth. She didn’t know how, but she had a feeling Blanca wasn’t lying about having seen the error of her ways. The fact that she didn’t try to take Shiro back after all this pretty much confirmed it in her eyes.

Morning eventually came, but the sky was still a dark canvas, with streaks of purple and dark pink creeping in. Mary gave a yawn as she woke up, but other than that, she found herself wide awake. Groggy, but awake nonetheless. Blanca was still sleeping peacefully right next to her. Tear tracks glistened underneath the marshmallow’s eyes like dew, her sorrow from last night evident. Her guilt probably weighed her down for years. Decades or probably centuries. Mary didn’t know how long Shiro had been away from Blanca, and she figured it’d be rude to ask, so she had kept silent. Still, the question plaguing her mind continued to linger. Things couldn’t end like this.

But she didn’t exactly know what she could do about it. She was just a kid. She couldn’t just throw herself into a spat between mother and son. This was a problem likely too big for her to solve. But it felt wrong to just leave it to fester. Mary stood up and walked, hoping that maybe that would help. Blanca was laying on top of her backpack and Vic’s, so she knew their belongings were safe for now. Come to think of it…where was Vic? Mary looked around, seeing no sign of the hamster.

“Oh. Mornin’ Mary.”

Speak of the devil. Mary turned around and saw Vic standing right behind her.

“Hi Vic. Where were you just now?” Mary asked, kneeling down to get a better look at him.

Vic adjusted his earring as he answered. “Just needed to pee. Couldn’t sleep last night.”

“You too, huh?”

“I’m guessing you’re pretty rattled by Blanca and Shiro’s whole…situation.”

Mary sat down and nodded. “All Blanca wanted to do was apologize, but Shiro’s still angry! Usually when somebody says they’re sorry and actually does better, the other person says it’s okay and they get along again!” Mary exclaimed, running her hands through her hair. “I get Shiro’s mad at Blanca for what she did to him, and if I was him, I’d probably still be mad too, but…we know Blanca’s changed, and he was still being mean to her! They can’t end things like this!”

“I agree that Shiro was harsh,” Vic’s voice faltered a bit in his reply. “But that’s not our decision to make. We can’t force him to forgive Blanca. He has to be the one to decide whether to do so or not.”

“I know. But isn’t there some way we can at least convince him that Blanca isn’t mean anymore? She’s not who she used to be! If she really wanted to take him back to the Sweets Car, she would have done so the second she saw him, and she didn’t! That’s gotta mean something, right?”

Across from her, Vic can only grip the fluffy cloud floor beneath him to suppress a grimace. “Yeah, but we can’t exactly change somebody’s view of someone. We met Blanca long after she changed, so we never saw how she was with Shiro,” Vic pointed out. “If we were to tell Shiro about the adventures we had, he might feel like all we’re doing is invalidating his experiences or claiming that he’s wrong for being angry at Blanca.”

Mary cocked her head to one side, confused. “What does invalidate mean?”

“In this context, it means to discredit someone or make them think what they experienced isn’t important or doesn’t matter. For example…” Vic explained, taking a moment to ponder before speaking again. “You told us once that certain loud noises are literally painful for you, and that a lot of the time, your mom thought you were making it up for attention, or said that it’s not that loud. She’s not autistic like you, so she doesn’t understand how painful those noises are for you, but instead of making the effort to help you or support you, she invalidated your experiences and assumed you were just being a brat.”

It was like a light bulb that hadn’t lit up in a hundred years had been restarted in Mary’s mind, and she let out a quiet gasp. Vic always seemed to know the right words to help Mary articulate what she was feeling or the things that happened to her, and the one he used just now couldn’t have been more perfect. Yes, that was exactly what her mother did to her all the time! Even the memories she saw via the white orb robots that Vic bought had confirmed such when she saw them in real time. So many times, when Mary was pained by loud noises or didn’t like how certain foods tasted, her mother always either scolded her or claimed she was just being difficult.

Poisonous words echoed from the recesses of her memory, each twist of the proverbial knife more painful than the last.

“Mary, I cook for you every day. The least you could do is eat everything on your plate! Nobody likes a picky eater!”

“Would you stop this nonsense for two seconds?! The world doesn’t revolve around you!”

“It’s not that loud. Stop overreacting. We’re in a public place.”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. You get back out there and socialize like you’re supposed to!”

“You’re not going to pull these tricks on me and make me into the freak-show of Woodland Hills!”

Just thinking of all the times Dana claimed Mary was just being a brat or an attention seeker, refusing to believe certain things were actually painful for her, made her stomach tighten up. She wondered if Blanca had said the same things to Shiro once upon a time, just because he wanted to leave the Sweets Car and explore the train. Mary shook her head. She didn’t dare try to imagine Blanca being that cruel, even if the marshmallow had flat-out admitted to being such. It was here that she realized something.

“I guess…Shiro and I have something in common,” Mary admitted wistfully.

“The whole thing is complicated, Mary,” Vic reminded her. “This isn’t something that can just be wrapped up with a neat little bow and everything goes back to being hunky-dory. That being said, I actually do have some questions I want to ask Shiro. Want to go see him with me?”

Mary gave a quick nod. “But we don’t know where he lives, though.”

“We can just ask the other pegasi.”

Good point.

With that, the duo decided to make for Shiro’s abode, wherever that was. Vic did make sure to leave a note for Blanca letting them know what they were doing, that way she wouldn’t be worried or think they had gone missing. They asked some pegasi where Shiro lived, with one of them pointing to a cloud funnel that had a flag on it. Said flag was blue and had what looked to be a picture depicting a black pegasus inside a shield, similar to a code of arms. When they walked up to the funnel, they found themselves in a quandary.

“How are we supposed to get inside?” Mary asked. “I don’t think we can just walk in. That’d be breaking and entering, and that’s bad. But can we even knock on clouds?”

Vic scuttled up to the funnel and tried knocking on it. His paws made no noise when they made contact with the cloud. “That answer your question?”

It did. But Mary didn’t give up. She slowly put her hand into the funnel, and it went right through the clouds. Just as quickly, she pulled it back, as she didn’t want to break into someone’s home uninvited, even if it was a cloud funnel. Another idea popped into her head, and she wasted no time putting it into action.

“Mr. Shiroooooo!” Mary cried out, cupping both sides of her mouth with both hands. “Can we come in, please? Vic and I wanna talk to you about some stuff!”

A brief silence followed. Then, something pulled that section of the cloud open. Out came Shiro, who was in his regular marshmallow form. He used both hands to pull the cloud behind him closed. Mary immediately shivered when she saw the scowl on his face. She wondered if he was unhappy with them showing up unannounced, and with Vic being so small and Blanca not here with them, she couldn’t hide from his steely gaze.

“Huh. It’s you two. Didn’t think you’d wanna see me again after yesterday,” Shiro growled, his voice and tone more tired than angry. He heaved a sigh before speaking again. “Look, sorry I dragged you into my whole thing with my mom. You didn’t need to see me lose it like that.”

Shiro was apologizing? Mary’s initial fear vanished just like that. She had thought he was going to stay angry. But for all she knew, maybe he still was and was just hiding it.

“But if you’re here to force me to apologize to her or forgive her, tough luck. It ain’t happenin’,” Shiro hissed.

“Don’t worry. That’s not why we’re here,” Vic wasted no time reassuring him. “I’m actually curious to know what made you decide you wanted to explore the train and live here. If that’s alright with you, that is. Mainly because I’m trying to find a new place to live, too.”

Shiro let out another sigh. “Eh, sure. Why not?” He sat right down, as did Mary and Vic.

“I’m guessing Mom told you everythin’ about me, eh?” Shiro began. “Before passengers started comin’ through the Sweets Car, I used to think the Sweets Car was the only thing in the world. But then I heard stories about other worlds and cars just outside the door. I thought it was the awesomest thing ever, and I wanted to know more. Learn more. The passengers themselves were cool people, too. They had all sorts of stories to tell. I even wanted to go with some of them, but Mom wouldn’t let me. She got it in her head that passengers and denizens were beneath her because they weren’t sweets like we are.”

That certainly corroborated what Blanca had mentioned when she told them about it. As far as Mary was concerned, this was confirmation that Blanca had, indeed, been someone completely different than how she was now, as hard as it was to believe.

“Growing up, I always felt restless. I wanted something I couldn’t put words to. But when I started getting to know the passengers and denizens that came through there, I knew what it was I wanted. I wanted to get out of the Sweets Car and explore the train! I was tired of the monotony of always being in the Sweets Car all the time. I mean, I wasn’t going to just straight up move out or anything. But I wanted some variety! See what was out there! Expand my horizons!”

Vic gave an affirmative nod. “I can understand that.”

“When I told everyone about this, they were actually okay with it. My dad, my other siblings, my friends, they all said I should do it! But Mom? She acted like I had told her I wanted to kill myself. I’m sure this is hard to believe, but she did everythin’ she BEEPin’ could to keep me in the Sweets Car. Tryin’ to lock me in my room, claimin’ I don’t know what I’m sayin’, how I’m a disgrace to sweets everywhere, even tryin’ to block the entrance so I couldn’t leave.”

All of which Blanca had mentioned to them previously. Further confirmation that what she had told them was true. Mary hung her dead down, staring at her flowery sneakers. In the back of her mind, she had selfishly hoped that everything that Blanca told her in the Jungle Car wasn’t true. But Blanca didn’t have a reason to lie about these things. Why would she?

“But I was able to leave. Turnin’ the handle on the red doors was a lot easier than I thought it’d be,” Shiro continued on. “I had originally planned on just explorin’ a few cars and then comin’ back. But Mom’s reaction to the whole thing made me want to cut and run. I couldn’t go back. Not with her wanting to literally lock me in a cage. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do, but explorin’ the train was a lotta fun. I got to see a ton of new stuff I never would have if I had stayed in the Sweets Car. I made tons of friends who have my back and don’t judge me for what I am, and I even made a home for myself.”

Mary and Vic looked around at the clouds and the pegasi that flew by before turning to face Shiro again. “So…you decided you wanted to be a pegasus that swears a lot?” Vic asked.

“Wasn’t my initial plan, no. But everybody here’s been nothin’ but good to me since I came here. I told them all that I’m tellin’ you right now, and all of ‘em accepted me and supported me. They didn’t care that I wasn’t one of them!” Shiro exclaimed, slamming his fist onto the floor beneath him in emphasis. “They embraced me when my own mother didn’t. So I decided to stay here. I still explore the train sometimes, but leavin’ the Sweets Car when I did was the best decision I made.”

It was strange. When Mary first saw Shiro yesterday, she couldn’t help but hate him for how he treated Blanca, even with the knowledge that Blanca had been cruel to her son. But it was staggering just how much they had in common. Their mothers couldn’t accept them for who they are, even resorting to violence just to get them to bend to their whims for the sake of appearances. In light of this, she silently chastised herself for thinking such awful thoughts about someone she had only just met. Yes, Shiro and Blanca’s relationship was complicated. There was no denying that. Her feet began to move in circles, her mind flicking through countless words in her head in an attempt to find the right ones.

Actually, there was one thing she could say. Blanca and Dana were similar in a lot of ways, but there was one thing Blanca had over Dana. Mary’s stomach twisted, and she feared that what she was going to do would turn out to be a big mistake. But what could she lose at this point? She might as well get it out there.

“...My mom is cruel to me, too.”

She was barely able to swallow. Vic and Shiro’s gazes latching onto her made her whole body buzz from the anxiety. But she’s started now, so she decided she might as well carry on.

“My mom doesn’t love me either. She always yells at me even when I do everything she says,” Mary began, her voice shaking and straining. “She makes me feel like nothing I do will ever be good enough for her. It doesn’t matter how smart I am, how nice I am, or how talented I am at stuff. All that matters to her is that I’m autistic, and to her that’s the worst thing ever, even when other people told her that’s not true. One time, she laid on top of me in a bookstore because she saw me flapping my hands, and I felt like I was gonna die. I even found out she wants to take me to a doctor so they can make sure I don’t have kids when I grow up.”

“Oh shit,” Was the only response Shiro could give. Vic put a gentle paw on her leg and smiled at her, silently encouraging her to keep going.

The reassurance worked, and Mary took a deep breath before continuing. “And she never once said she was sorry. My dad and my teachers say that if you do something bad to someone, you have to tell them you’re sorry. They said even grown-ups should do that. But Mom never said sorry to me for any of that. To her, everything bad she did was all my fault, even when it really wasn’t. I doubt she’ll ever say I’m sorry or love me as I am.”

A brief silence followed until Mary spoke again.

“Vic and I never saw the Blanca you grew up with, and…we’re not here to make you apologize to her. But…I do want to tell you this,” Mary’s breath hitched for a bit, but she forced herself to keep going. To say the thing she’s wanted to say since she witnessed Shiro’s tirade. “I would rather have a mom that actually tells you she’s sorry and tries to make things right than a mom who never says sorry at all!” She yelled it louder than she had intended, and was close to crying, but she finally got the words out.

Shiro’s expression softened, and not a single word formed on his tongue. On the other hand, Vic crawled up Mary’s arm and hopped on top of her head so he could talk to Shiro at eye level.

“Whether you want to believe Blanca really changed or not is your prerogative. But Blanca has helped us both in so many ways. Words can’t possibly hope to convey how grateful we are to her for the kindness she’s shown us,” Vic told him, solemn yet sincere. “We’re not gonna be sticking around here, so if you have things you want to say to Blanca before we leave, you should just say it, or else it’ll be too late. The train cars shift around, and for all you know, you might not see Blanca again for a long time, if at all, taking into account how big the train is. Do you really want things to end like this?”

For once, Shiro didn’t have a response.

“We should probably get back to Blanca,” Vic told Mary.

With that, the two of them decided to walk away, having finished their business with Shiro. But Mary did take a minute to wave goodbye to Shiro before leaving. Unbeknownst to them, Shiro morphed into his black pegasus form and ascended into the sky.

By the time Mary and Vic made it back to Blanca, the sky was a brilliant blue. Blanca was already awake when they reunited, and she greeted them with her usual warm smile.

“Hello, kids. Did you have fun exploring?” Blanca asked.

“We sure did!” Vic exclaimed.

Before they left, there was someone they needed to look for. Nora hadn’t joined back with them since she left to talk to a group with pegasi. Thankfully, they had no cause for worry, as not long after they began walking to the exit, Nora caught up to them, bearing a tight scowl on her face.

“Where have you been this whole time?” Mary asked.

Nora adjusted one of the straps on her backpack before answering in a rather terse manner. “Hanging out with some pegasi. They seemed cool at first, and I even invited some of them to come with us. But not only did they say no, they completely flaked when I told them what I wanted to do on my train journey!” Nora complained, her voice adopting a nasally whine as she described what had happened.

Mary shrugged. “Well, if they don’t wanna come, they don’t wanna, so you just gotta live with it.”

All Mary received in response was a barely contained scoff from Nora.

With Blanca’s help, the quartet made it to the exit without a hitch. Nora was the first to get off, and Mary the last. As soon as Blanca changed back, Mary couldn’t help but ask a lingering question. “Don’t you wanna see Shiro one last time before we leave?”

Blanca shook her head in resignation. “It’s alright. Knowing he’s alive and well is good enough for me.”

Similar to how she acted in the Jungle Car, Nora gave another disbelieving scoff. She was about to reach for the handle before a voice made everyone freeze in place.

“Wait!!”

It was Shiro. He sharply descended to the ground before changing back to his marshmallow form. Blanca’s mouth fell agape as her son appeared before her once more, this time with a look of confusion on his face rather than anger.

“Shiro…?” Blanca could only stare at him with wide eyes, her voice barely above a whisper, as if she could never fathom ever seeing him again after what had happened yesterday.

“That’s it?! You’re just…leaving?! You’re not taking me back or anything?!” Shiro shouted.

Mary’s hands flew to her ears, but she did appreciate that Shiro didn’t sound angry.

There was another silence until Blanca simply flashed her warm smile and said, “Do you want me to? You’re an amazing, talented, and intelligent young man, Shiro. You’re free to make your own decisions. I’d love for you to come back home, but I have no right to ask that of you.”

Was this really happening? Mary and Vic exchanged hopeful looks. Does this mean they’re finally working things out? Or at the very least, making some attempt at reconciliation? Nora rolled her eyes at the display.

“All kids leave home someday. That’s just a fact of life,” Blanca continued. “I don’t want to force you to do anything. I’m just happy you’re alive and well, and with denizens that make you happy. All I want to say is…” Her voice shook, but she forced herself to speak through incoming tears. “Take care. I know I’ve been a lousy mother to you, and I’m sorry for all that I’ve done to you. Dismissing your dreams, not being more supportive, and for trying to dictate how you should live your life. I still love you, and I always will."

Having finished saying what she needed to say, Blanca turned around to turn the handle on the exit. Mary saw new tears trickling down Shiro’s face.

“Mom!” Shiro cried out with no trace of his previous anger or vitriol. “I…I’m not ready to forgive you just yet, but…thank you. For apologizing,” He replied, softer this time. “For what it’s worth…I’ll stop by and visit, and I want to tell you about all my adventures!”

A hand flew to Blanca’s mouth as she tried to suppress tears of joy. Mary and Vic exchanged proud smiles. Things weren’t going to end between them on a bad note after all! They wondered if their talk with him had anything to do with it. Regardless, this reunion ended a lot better than it started.

“I’m looking forward to it, Shiro.”

Just then, Shiro flashed a big grin before morphing into his pegasus form and shooting up into the sky with a bellowing neigh. Other pegasi joined him, galloping and dancing on air, whinnying and neighing happily, loud enough for the entire car to hear. Mary’s hands covered her ears, but seeing the pegasi dancing, along with Blanca and Shiro resolving their issues to an extent was well worth it.

Something nudged her back, and Mary jolted forward in surprise. Nora had used her elbow to poke Mary in the back. “Why are you covering your ears? It’s not that loud,” Nora said.

Maybe not to her. “I’m autistic, so some noises are louder for me than for other people,” Mary replied.

“Alright! Let us sally forth!” Vic playfully exclaimed, pointing to the exit.

With a new spring in her step, Blanca opened the gates, with Mary sprinting happily across the bridge and Vic holding onto her hair. The both of them squealed in delight, ecstatic that things turned out as well as they did. Mary spread her arms out and began making mock neighing noises.

“Neeeeigh! I’m a pegasus! Neeeeigh!” Unable to contain her joy, Mary reveled in the pride that burst in her heart, as did Vic.

“Onward, my noble steed! What manner of creatures await us in the next car?” Vic proclaimed.

Blanca giggled at the sight, but she noticed Nora wasn’t walking anymore. She turned around, seeing the teenager standing in the middle of the bridge, looking out at the wasteland.

“Are you alright, Nora?” Blanca inquired with concern.

At first, Nora didn’t answer. Warm desert winds lifted her violet and pink strands of hair, defying gravity. “I…I’m feeling a little motion sick. I’ll catch up to you.”

“Oh. Alright. I’ll let Vic and Mary know so we won’t leave you behind by accident. We’ll be in the next car,” Blanca told her gently before leaving to give Nora her space.

Unbeknownst to everyone, Nora’s hands tightly gripped the railing. Her eyes were bloodshot, her teeth tightly pressed together, and she made no attempt to push the wild hair strands out from in front of her face. As soon as Blanca, Mary, and Vic closed the door to the next car behind them, Nora let out a primal scream to an audience of naught but sand and dead trees.

Chapter Text

“When I look at you, I see me,
And when I look at me, I see you
It may sound kind of funny at first, but you’ll see
If you give it a try, you’ll like it too.”

On a grand stage, several denizens sang and danced merrily as the neon arch behind them flashed pink, giving the red curtains behind it an almost ethereal illumination. Sentient stage lights shone their spotlights on the performers—some glove denizens, a hand fan, an opera glasses denizen, a script, a silver tragedy mask, and a gold comedy mask. The audience—Blanca, Vic, Mary, and Nora among them—watched the performance, completely enraptured save for Nora, who just scowled at it the whole time.

“I'm from the west, and you're from the east
You like to rhyme, and I don't know how
We're not the same, and that's a good thing
There's a whole lot of good being different can bring
Life's too short to only look for difference
We should learn to celebrate our difference!”

Mary found herself swaying from side to side in tune with the song. She had to admit, it was pretty catchy. The sign by the entrance said the play being put on right now was called “Empathy Goes” written by a passenger named Jesse Cosay. Whoever he was, Mary silently thanked him for writing this play and the song that the denizens were singing right now. Smiling to herself, Mary watched the denizens sing their hearts out. She especially appreciated that their singing wasn’t too loud, and there weren’t any microphones or speakers, so the noise didn’t hurt her ears. The lights weren’t too bright, either. In fact, all of the scenery off the stage consisted of cardboard props. Everyone could see strings hanging from the clouds, and the sun peeking out from behind the hills cast no light, shadow, or reflection.

“Pfft,” Nora made a disinterested noise by poking her lips outward. “This song is so stupid,” She sneered.

“I like it,” Mary chimed in.

“It’s better than my attempts at songwriting, that’s for sure,” Vic retorted from atop Mary’s head, holding onto her hair as she swayed her body so he wouldn’t fall off.

“I'm blue!
I'm brown!
I smile!
I frown!
I eat things backwards and upside-down!
I've got legs!
I've got none!
Where I'm from, vacuuming's fun!
Here, there, everywhere!
Who are you? I don't care!
Just be kind and understand
We all hail from equal land
Everybody!”

Mary closed her eyes and immersed herself in the song until she felt a jab on her forearm. She bolted to the side, her eyes wide from surprise, facing a scowling Nora fixing her gaze on her.

“Will you quit swaying like that? You look stupid,” Nora hissed through clenched teeth.

As far as Mary was concerned, she didn’t see what the problem was. “I’m enjoying the song,” Mary told Nora without a hint of hesitation. “It’s the same as you tapping your feet.”

Nora shrugged. “Only difference is that I’m bored as hell.”

“Well, the song’s almost over, so we won’t be here for much longer,” Vic pointed out.

“When I look at you, I see me
And when I look at me, I see you
It may sound kind of funny at first but you'll see
If you give it a try
When you give it a try
Won't you give it a try
You'll like it, too!”

The audience broke into a round of applause, cheering and cajoling at the play’s denouement. It was a good thing Mary thought to bring her earplugs, as the clapping noise was thankfully muffled when she put them in. Once it died down, the denizens on stage took a bow and the audience got up to leave.

“That was so much fun!” Blanca effused, smiling from eye to eye. “If I had stayed in the Sweets Car, I’d have never seen something so fascinating.”

“Me too,” Vic chimed in. “So that’s what a musical is like.”

“I thought it was really nice, too!” Mary agreed.

Behind them, the glove denizens shouted an announcement. Or rather, sang the announcement. “Tomorrow will be our last showing of Empathy Goes! Tune in next week for our next production, Yoshiwara Lament! Do be warned: It’s for adults only! Don’t try to sneak kids in here, and to any kids planning on sneaking into a showing, that goes for you, too!”

It was a good thing Mary and friends were leaving the Musical Car now, if that was the case. Kids wouldn’t be allowed to see their newest show. Mary shrugged as she pulled her ear plugs out.

“Why the hell are you wearing ear plugs?” Nora asked out of nowhere, her tone bordering on accusatory.

Mary froze as they made it to the exit, confused. “The clapping was loud.”

“No it wasn’t,” Nora sneered. “You don’t need those.”

Nora reached her hand out to try and grab them, but Mary stepped backward, shoving them in her pocket as she did so. “Yes I do! It might not be loud for you but it is for me!” Mary snapped.

“Nora, leave it be,” Blanca gently advised. “Not everyone can handle loud noises. The ear plugs help her deal with it.”

The teenager gave a scornful scoff before opening the door and walking out first. Blanca followed her from behind, as did Mary and Vic, but Mary found herself stopping at the bridge. She gripped the straps of her backpack tightly. Nora trying to take her earplugs just now reminded her of how she tried to take her phone a while back. As happy as she was about Blanca putting a stop to it, she looked down at the metal bridge with a frown and furrowed eyebrows. Dana had taken her earplugs away on multiple occasions, claiming that Mary was making a big deal out of nothing, even when Reagan and her father had told her not to do so. Nora’s action just now reminded her of all the times Dana made her feel bad about needing earplugs to deal with the noise.

“God, why do you always have to make everything into some sort of drama?! ” Her mother had yelled one time, when the family had gone to a picnic. There was a group of kids playing soccer, and the noise made Mary’s head throb and her ears hurt. When she tried to put her ear plugs in—Mary didn’t cry, scream, or anything, but the noise outside was painful, and she knew she would if she didn’t put them in right away—her mother dragged her to a secluded part of the park and yelled at her for making a fuss. “Do you get off on making things harder for me?! Every time you can’t be bothered to follow the damn rules, I’m always the one that has to take the blame!”

Guilt. That was it. Her mother always tried to make Mary feel guilty about anything she did. Probably because of her own issues with her own mother. And now Nora was doing the same thing, even if she didn’t exactly say it in so many words.

“Mary? You okay?”

Vic’s voice pulled her out of her reverie, and he flashed a reassuring smile at her. “Don’t pay Nora any mind. She’s just being an obnoxious teenager. Use your ear plugs as much as you need to.”

Mary smiled back at him, already feeling better. She didn’t know what she’d do if she didn’t have Vic and Blanca with her. Zeal renewed, the two of them bounded across the bridge to catch up to Blanca and Nora.

“I hope to God the next car will actually be fun,” Nora griped as she turned the handle.

The next car was…absolutely nothing like the Musical Car. The first thing they saw was fog. Lots of it. It wasn’t so thick that it completely obscured everything around them, but it was close to doing so. Dead trees scattered around the premises, their contorted branches black against the thick gray clouds. Rotten leaves crunched underneath the kids’ shoes as they walked. Lines of tombstones with crosses on top seemed to form a path around the passengers, as if beckoning them to progress further. Mary wasted no time grabbing onto Blanca, shivering from the creepiness of it all. Of all the cars they wound up in, this one just had to be a graveyard straight out of a horror movie.

“Awww, yeah! Now this is my jam!” Nora cheered, pulling out a flashlight and turning it on. The artificial light did nothing to assuage Mary’s worries, just like how it failed to illuminate the fog. “Maybe there’s a haunted house up ahead? Oooh, there better be!” The enthusiasm in Nora’s whole being, from her voice to her more animated body posture, made chills run down Mary’s spine. The suddenly frigid air didn’t help, and she mentally kicked herself for not bringing more long sleeved shirts with her. Mary had nothing against horror media, and she wasn’t scared of them because she knew they were fiction. There was no such thing as ghosts, zombies, or monsters in the real world.

Except on the Infinity Train, apparently.

“It’ll be alright, Mary. We’re going to stick together and make our way through, just like we always do,” Blanca gently reminded her.

“What’s that over there?” Vic noticed something in the distance and pointed further up.

Just as they began walking further down the gravestone-lined path, the fog seemed to dissipate, revealing a dilapidated structure. When they got close enough, they were face to face with a large, imposing mansion in a state of disrepair and in desperate need of a new paint job. The wooden porch was rotted out, with a big, gaping hole in the middle step. The walls looked just as gray and gloomy as the environment around it, with several splintered wood panels either exposed or missing. Several of the windows were broken, with glass shards scattered around the premises, which nobody bothered to clean up. Dead vegetation snaked up into the rattling shutters and coiled around the rusted pipes, mingling with cobwebs and spider webs. Even the paneling on the roof was crumbling. Mary found herself afraid that one of them might break off the eaves and fall on her head, sending her to certain death. The wind passing through the broken windows and exposed wooden panels made a low, whistling noise, as though the mansion itself was breathing.

“Are we…supposed to go through this?” Mary asked, trembling as she clung to Blanca.

One indication that they were supposed to was that the iron fences around the mansion were high, towering above even the crumbling structure. The front doors suddenly flew open, and Mary yelped when she saw someone approaching them. It was a gray skinned zombie wearing tattered clothes, and one of its eyes hung from its socket, only attached to it by a string of bloody veins. As soon as she saw its grotesque form, Mary leaped behind Blanca, unable to look upon the denizen.

“Welcome to the Haunted House Car…” The disheveled zombie greeted them with a contorted smile and sounded out his words slowly. “If you wish to exit…you must make your way…through the mansion…” The zombie pointed to the mansion behind him with his thumb…or what was left of it, which was just the bone for said thumb. “Don’t try to…fly over the mansion…the air above the fence…will electrocute you…”

Electrocute them?! Mary, Vic, and Blanca exchanged wide-eyed, frightened glances. No way did they want to risk flying over the mansion upon hearing that statement. Mary didn’t know which was scarier; potentially getting electrocuted to death, the carefree, the almost lackadaisical way the zombie mentioned it, or Nora’s uncharacteristic cheer.

“Yeah, baby! I’m in!” Nora wasted no time running past the zombie and making her way into the crumbling mansion. “Now this is awesoooome!!”

As much as the trio didn’t want to go through this mansion, it was easy to see that they had no other option at this point. Reluctantly, they swallowed in unison and walked up the rotting porch. The steps squeaked underneath them as they made their way to the entrance, leaving the zombie behind. Luckily, Nora hadn’t gone too far inside, as she was marveling at the dilapidated living room. Even the inside of the house looked just as bad as the outside. Cobwebs lined the corners of the ceiling, with several of them being so thick that they looked like snowballs caught in spider webs. Pieces of yellowed out wallpaper hung from the walls, exposing the moldy, rotten wood underneath. Long wooden planks lay scattered about the floor, covered in thick layers of dust, and various pieces of furniture were either toppled over, ripped to shreds, or just leaning against the wall. Black splotches of mildew lined all around the ceiling, and Mary was sure she could smell something musty in the air.

“That zombie said we have to make our way through this place,” Blanca piped up. “Does he mean we have to find this mansion’s exit before we can leave the car?”

“I assume so,” Vic agreed, crossing his arms. “Where that is, we’ll probably have to find out.”

“We ought to stick together at all times,” Mary suggested. “This mansion looks so big, we might get lost, and who knows what we might run into in here,” She didn’t want to think about the possibility of other zombies lurking about the premises, probably with intent to kill. Or ghosts or other demonic creatures.

“Sure sure, whatevs,” Nora rejoined them, with her hands folded behind the back of her head, her tone leaning more into blase now than her earlier cheer. “Think we might find some ghosts in here?”

“I hope not!” Mary yelled.

Everything about this place made Mary feel like she was covered in cobwebs. She readied her umbrella spear just in case any zombies were to pop out, her skin itching from the thick, dusty air around her. The four of them walked up the stairs that led to the second floor. To Mary’s surprise, they were a lot sturdier than she thought they’d be. Even the weight of Nora’s thick combat boots didn’t make them cave in. At least with that, they didn’t need to worry about falling through the stairs to their deaths. Still, everyone had to keep their guard up. No one said a word as they cautiously reached the top of the stairs. Vic’s eyes were distracted by some painted portraits that were hanging lopsidedly off the wall, ready to fall right off. Nora took it upon herself to kick some wooden planks to the side to clear their path. Blanca looked into some of the rooms, and they were all empty.

Not long after, the quartet found themselves scoping out a large dining room. It had two long tables that were, oddly enough, still standing, and covered in large, raggedy tablecloths. To everyone’s relief, there were two large windows in the back.

“Nora, would you mind checking to see if we can see the exit from the window?” Blanca suggested.

The teenager walked over to the window to get a look. Most of the glass was broken, and the fog was still thick. But Nora looked through the hole and did see a faint blur of red into the horizon. “I can’t make it out all that well, but I do see something red back there,” Nora reported. She tried to stick her hand through the hole in the window…but a painful shock made her body jolt backward.

“Agh!” Nora yelped, holding onto her stinging arm as backed away from the window.

“You okay?” Mary asked, concerned.

“I’m fine!” Nora snapped, which made the younger girl flinch.

Vic crossed his arms. “Guess going out the window is a no-go.”

The mansion seemed to really want everyone to go through it the old-fashioned way. Mary couldn’t help but find this car’s rules to be rather strict. Something fluttered outside her peripheral vision, and she fixed her gaze on one of the tables. Did something move? Was someone there? With her umbrella spear in hand, she bent down to get a better look. Her blood ran cold. Underneath the ripped tablecloth, she could make out skeletal feet. Were there skeletons under there? Were they dead or…undead? Mary didn’t want to know. She ran over to Nora and pulled on her shirt.

“Guys. We need to leave now. There’s skeletons under the table and for all we know they might attack us,” Mary told her.

Instead of listening, Nora brushed Mary’s hand off her shirt. “Don’t be so dramatic. There’s nothing here. Besides, if there was, they’d have attacked us long before now,” Nora answered dismissively.

“There are, though! Look!” Mary pointed her spear at the table in question. “I saw it moving! We should go before they come out and kill us!” She insisted.

“She is right in that we shouldn’t linger here,” Vic agreed. “We’re wasting time that we should be spending looking for the exit.”

Nora gave a scowl and marched right past the worried girl. “God, you’re so annoying! Don’t you guys know how to have—” She was cut off by something grabbing her ankle.

She looked down. A hand made entirely of bones had wrapped around it.

“Nora!” Mary yelled, lunging forward to stab the skeletal hand with her spear. It cut right through the skeleton’s wrist, taking the hand right off the arm. Nora backed away and was able to shake the amputated hand off her ankle.

Just like Mary had said, there were living skeletons underneath the dining room tables. Several of them crawled out from underneath them, the cavities serving as their eyes glowing an eerie gold. All of them slowly stood up and began ambling toward the quartet.

“Run!!” Mary yelled, making a mad dash for the door. Blanca ran over the table, knocking over plates and candelabra in the process, several of which managed to send some skeletons rolling backward. One skeleton tried to make a grab at Vic, but Blanca was able to swat it away with her hand. Once Blanca and Vic made it out, Nora pulled out her pistol and began shooting.

Gunshots rang out, the flashes of light illuminating the entire room from the outside, from where Mary was watching. The loud, booming noises reverberated through Mary’s body, even as she covered her ears. Blanca and Vic made it out, but why hadn’t Nora joined them? She wasn’t going to stay in there and shoot all the skeletons, was she? It’d be a waste of bullets, for one. As much as she hated going anywhere near the noise, Mary knew she couldn’t leave Nora behind. She ran over to the room, relieved to see Nora still standing, but the skeletons were closing in.

“Nora! Come on!! We gotta go!!” Mary yelled.

“Hell naw! I’m havin’ way too much fun here!!” Nora cackled as she shot bullet after bullet at the skeletons coming her way.

This was Nora’s idea of fun? Mary didn’t have time to ruminate on it further, as Blanca swooped in and literally wrapped both arms around Nora, lifting her up and dragging her out of the room. Once Nora was out, Mary slammed the door as hard as she could. To her relief, she saw hooks on the door, probably to put a slab of wood on to keep it locked. Mary found a wooden plank and placed it on the hooks, trapping the undead skeletons. Crisis averted.

“Phew!” Mary slumped to the ground, with relief washing over her. Even the painfully thick dust on the wooden floor didn’t bother her at the moment. They could have been skeleton food had they not gotten away quickly. Mary smiled at the locked door, happy that everyone was safe.

But her reprieve was short-lived. She saw a shadow loom over her, and when Mary looked up, the first thing she felt was a hard smack on the head.

“Oww!!”

“Nora!!” Vic yelled, appalled by what he witnessed.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Nora bellowed. Mary’s head throbbed, but Nora’s yelling was explosive, and her hands instinctively covered her ears. She tried to stand up and walk away, but Nora grabbed her by the forearm, forcibly pulling her left hand from her ear and continuing to scream at her. “Why’d you have to get in the way?! I could have gotten us all out just fine if not for you!!”

Get in her way? How so? Mary didn’t understand, and Nora’s yelling took up so much space in her brain. “What do you mean? I don’t get it!”

“Don’t try to play dumb, brat!!” Nora’s fingernails began to dig into Mary’s skin. Just like how Dana’s would when she was mad. “I could have gotten myself free from that skeleton just fine!”

“I was only trying to help you!”

“I didn’t need your damn help!!”

“Nora! Stop!” Blanca leaped into action, pulling Nora’s hand off of Mary and throwing herself between them. “Mary’s the reason we’re even still alive right now! If she hadn’t noticed the skeletons under the table, they could have gotten the jump on us!” Blanca reminded her. “They could have very well eaten you alive!”

“Besides, if you hadn’t just brushed off Mary’s concerns in the first place, we would have gotten out of there without having to even deal with them or waste bullets! Didn’t you ever think about that?!” Vic yelled.

All good points. Mary hadn’t even thought about Vic’s particular point. All that was on her mind was that they needed to get out before the skeletons could attack them, and that she needed to save Nora. Her ears and head still throbbed, but her earlier fright began to simmer into anger. Nora didn’t even say thank you! She could at least do that much! But considering Nora’s behavior previously, she was sure the teenager wouldn’t bother.

“Let’s just go. Finding the exit’s more important,” Mary reminded them in a tired tone.

Thankfully, this statement makes Nora fall silent, and the conversation ended there. At this point, Mary didn’t even try to demand an apology from Nora for hitting her on the head. This was no time to be standing around arguing. More sentient skeletons, or even ghosts or zombies, could be lurking around, ready to pounce and eat them. The quartet resumed their trek through the haunted mansion. The floorboards made drawn out, high pitched creaking noises as they walked. In all honesty, Mary was surprised the floor didn’t cave in underneath them, considering how rotted it was. But this was no time to relax.

The quartet explored a few other rooms after this, but all of them were empty. At one point, the quartet made their way into a master bedroom that definitely had seen better days. The bed was nothing more than a dirty mattress with a ripped up blanket on top. The bureau had completely toppled over, and several drawers were missing. Large patches of black mold covered whole swaths of the walls, and as a result, the air smelled musty and sour. The windows weren’t broken, but the drapes framing it had holes all over. Mary noticed a door that hadn’t been opened. Was anything in there? She kept her umbrella spear in hand in case she needed to defend herself. She slowly reached out to grab the doorknob, and the second the dust made contact with her hand, she grimaced from the gross feeling. But as soon as she opened it, a shriek assailed her ears.

Something came flying right at Mary, almost colliding with her. Mary let out a yelp, falling backwards in an attempt to avoid it. It didn’t make contact with her, but the loud shriek it let out made Mary’s ears ring.

“You okay, Mary?” Blanca asked, putting her hands out in case Mary needed help getting up.

The girl took Blanca up on her offer and helped herself up. “Yeah, I guess. What was that?”

“It’s up there,” Vic pointed to the ceiling. Everyone looked up. The culprit, it turned out, was a lone bat, barely the size of Mary’s whole hand. It tittered and squeaked as its claws clung to the wall, and the membranes that formed its wings seemed to stretch with every movement the mammal made.

“Uuuugh! Bats are gross!” Mary groaned. As happy as she was that it wasn’t a zombie or a ghost, bats posed plenty of their own dangers. It was a good thing it didn’t bite her, but knowing it was close to doing so made her shiver in fright.

Unfortunately for her, Nora had no such worries. “Man, you have to be a real wuss to be scared of a little thing like that. Bats don’t even attack people!” Nora sneered, eyeing the bat with interest.

“They carry some diseases, though!” Mary countered. “It could’ve had rabies!”

Nora gave a groan before pulling the door open. “Quit your whining and let’s just go! God, why do I have to babysit some dumb kid?” Nora stomped out of the master bedroom, not even bothering to wait for the trio to catch up to her.

Mary’s earlier anger returned. “What is her problem?! Why isn’t she taking any of this seriously?!” She exclaimed. “And why is she making everything out to be my fault?!”

“I have no idea,” Blanca said.

None of them knew just what was going on in Nora’s head, but her recent behavior was starting to fray every last nerve in their bodies. But they didn’t want to leave her on her own, so they caught up with her and continued their trek through the haunted house. It wasn’t long before some zombies approached them, claws out and ready for slashing. Nora shot a few of them, with Mary stabbing several more, just enough to get past them without engaging in further fighting. It helped that the zombies themselves were physically weak, unable to do much damage because their bodies were thin and emaciated. At Vic’s urging, the quartet focused more on just getting them out of the way rather than just engaging in combat. It’d be a waste of energy to do nothing but fight them.

They didn’t know how long they spent fighting off zombies, but the quartet finally found some respite once they found another stairway that led to the first floor. The four of them rested their backs against the wall, taking a moment to breathe and let their legs rest for a bit. Mary looked down at her spear, her face contorting at the sight of gross green liquid covering the tip. She had no idea what it was, and had no desire to find out, only to clean it up. She looked in her backpack to see if she had anything she could clean it with. To her dismay, there was nothing but her clothes and other things she brought with her. No napkins, paper towels, or even toilet paper.

“I can help with that,” Vic noticed what Mary was doing and hopped into his yellow backpack to look around. After some searching, he pulled out a rag and handed it to her. Mary gratefully accepted it and used it to clean off her spear. It took no time at all for it to be good as new.

“As gross as it looks, we should probably keep it in case we need to fight zombies again,” Vic suggested.

“That’s what I figured,” Mary agreed.

A low growling noise echoed from further down the hall. Shivering, Blanca stood up. “I don’t think we should linger here. It’s already dark.”

Mary stood up and looked out the window. Blanca was right. Outside the haunted house, the sky was nearing pitch black. What time was it? Mary pulled out her phone to check the time, and her mouth fell agape.

“Ten thirty?!” She shouted without meaning to.

“Hey! Keep your frickin’ voice down!” Nora snapped. “The damn zombies’ll hear you!”

“Sorry!”

Vic rummaged through his backpack and pulled out a flashlight, immediately turning it on. “Isn’t there some place we can hide, or at the very least camp out for the night?”

Sleep in a haunted house? Mary trembled at the thought. That’d be setting them up to be eaten by the zombies or living skeletons. But she knew they didn’t have much of a choice, so there was no point in complaining about it.

“Hm?” Something caught Blanca’s attention as she stood up.

“What’s up, Blanca?” Mary asked.

“I see something glowing down that way.”

The marshmallow pointed in the opposite direction from where the growling was coming from. Sure enough, Nora and Mary looked, and they did see a faint, white light further down. All four of them nodded to each other before ambling towards it. Once they got closer, the light turned out to be some kind of sigil painted on a door. The sigil glowed in a warm, white light.

“Oooh, looks pretty!” Mary crooned.

“Are you looking for shelter?”

An unfamiliar voice echoed next to them. The quartet froze, with Nora and Mary readying their weapons. The voice came from a ghost with a white, ephemeral body that was featureless otherwise. The round ghost greeted them with a seemingly friendly smile.

“Rest assured, I mean you no harm,” The ghost told them in a light, soft female voice. “I sealed this room with my white magic, so none of the undead are able to get in.”

“Can we spend the night here?” Mary asked.

The ghost answered with a nod. “You may. I’m sorry that this room is so out of the way. I wanted to seal off more rooms to make it easier on the passengers, and even clean them up a bit, but the powers that be forbade it.”

“Who are these…powers that be?” Vic inquired.

“I’m afraid I am forbidden to answer. But do make yourselves at home. I can stand guard while you sleep,” The ghost opened the door for them.

The room wasn’t much better than the other rooms in the house, as it was still somewhat dilapidated, and had only one bed. But as long as they didn’t have to worry about being attacked by zombies, that was good enough for them. Nora threw herself down on the empty mattress, groaning as soon as her body made contact with it.

“Uuugh, I am in dire need of a drink right now…” Nora drawled before putting her backpack down and rummaging through it.

Mary couldn’t help but glare in Nora’s direction. Why did she just take the mattress for herself? The least she could have done is ask the trio if either of them wanted to use it first. But as much as she wanted to voice this concern, she was sure Nora could throw a fit if she did. Nora seemed to hate it when people pointed things out to her or called her out on anything she did. Plus, Mary really didn’t want to sleep in a dusty, dirty room in a haunted house. But again, there was little choice in the matter. She brushed the dust off a portion of the floor before putting her bag against the wall and resting her head on it. Blanca snuggled right next to her, wrapping an arm around Mary for extra protection. Mary welcomed the gesture and buried herself into the marshmallow’s body, allowing for sleep to take over.

Vic bid them good night as he crawled into an empty pocket in his backpack. But he did steal a glance at Nora, who had finished her drink and was now…inhaling a powdery white substance up her nose with a straw.

“Should you really be doing that?” Vic asked.

Nora paid the hamster no heed, continuing to snort the powder. Vic’s body deflated as he realized this girl was not going to listen to any of his warnings. Actually, Nora on the whole gave him a really bad vibe. Something was really off about her, but he couldn’t put his finger on what. The fact that she seemed intent on yelling at Mary over every slight, perceived or imagined seemed to come out of nowhere. Or did it? She had mentioned that she was on the train because her parents seemed to like her brother more than her…there had to be more to it. Why would she want to live off the grid? Why did she seem to think people in positions of authority were trying to brainwash her? Why did she suddenly start treating Mary like some kind of nuisance?

Actually…there was one way he could find out.

Sleep didn’t come very easily to Mary that night. She got some sleep to an extent, but hearing the wind whistling through the cracks in the walls and scratching in the ceiling did not make for a pleasant night. Blanca’s presence and bodily warmth helped alleviate this somewhat, and she could hear the marshmallow’s faint heartbeat from where she slept. Her breath came in shallow, warm bursts against Mary’s hair. It almost reminded her of the way her dad breathed whenever he hugged her. Light pricked at her peripheral vision as Mary woke, coming in through the window. It was still cloudy out, but no longer pitch black like last night, so she was able to see everything around her.

But she also felt her stomach swirling. Nature was calling. Mary looked around. Everyone else was still asleep. Even Nora was sleeping away, still on the mattress. Mary needed to go, but if she were to leave the room, she’d be a sitting duck for the zombies and skeletons, even with her spear. Where even was the bathroom anyway? And if there was one, was it even still functioning? Mary wanted to wake Blanca up, even reaching out to the marshmallow as she did so, but froze in her tracks. Would Blanca be cranky when she woke up? Mary found herself remembering a time when someone called the house, asking for her mother. Mary tried to get them to leave a message, as her mother was sleeping, but the person on the other line was insistent that she talk to Dana right now. Mary shook her mother awake, but it resulted in Dana yelling at her, even after Mary explained someone wanted to talk to her.

Mary knew Blanca wasn’t that type of denizen, but the memory froze her in place, leaving her worried that if she were to shake the marshmallow awake, that it might happen again. Without meaning to make any noise, a low whine escaped her throat. As soon as she realized she made noise, Mary covered her hands with her mouth, worried it might have woken everyone up. Should she wait until they woke up to go? She wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold it in. The anxiety from not knowing what was the right thing to do gnawed at her like a leech sucking blood from her veins.

“Mary?” Vic’s voice pulled Mary out of her worry-induced fright. “Morning. Good to know we’re still alive.”

“Yeah,” Mary whispered as low as she could.

It took no time at all for Vic to notice her discomfort. “You okay?”

“I…I really need to use a bathroom, but I don’t wanna go out and get attacked by the zombies, and I’m scared to wake Blanca and Nora up.”

Vic crossed his arms. “That is a problem.”

“Morning…” Blanca hoisted herself up and let out a big yawn. Mary let out a sigh of relief, figuring this might be the best time to ask her about it.

“Blanca? I need to go to the bathroom, but I don’t know if there’s one in the house, and I don’t wanna go out there alone.”

Although the marshmallow’s eyes were still heavy from sleep, she flashed a reassuring smile as soon as Mary told her what she needed. “I can go with you. I think the ghost is still outside. Let’s ask if there’s a bathroom around.”

“I agree,” Vic chimed in, hopping on top of Blanca’s head.

That was one problem solved. Mary decided to open the door just a crack. Sure enough, the ghost was still there.

“Miss Ghost? Is there a bathroom I can use?” Mary asked.

“Sure is! It’s just down the hall to your left. It has a withered wreath on the door,” The ghost replied, pointing down the hall.

A withered wreath. That should be easy enough to spot. With that, the three of them left the safe room and slowly made their way through the hall. Mary made sure to bring her umbrella spear just in case. Luckily, they didn’t run into any zombies or living skeletons, and found the door with the wreath without issue. Vic and Blanca stood guard outside so Mary could both have some privacy and not get attacked. Like the rest of the house, the bathroom was also pretty dilapidated, but the toilet was functional, with the bowl filled with clean water. There was even toilet paper, and it looked usable. Mary wasted no time getting her business done and felt much better afterward. But the dust on the rim of the toilet made her skin crawl when she had to sit. Best of all, they didn’t encounter undead denizens even on their way back to the safe room. Crisis averted.

When the trio got back, Nora was sprawled out on the floorboards, still out like a light. Her mouth was wide open, some drool trickled down her chin, and her snoring was so loud, she sounded like a pig. Several empty glass bottles rubbed against her leg, with the tip of one digging into her hip. Vic scuttled over to the sleeping teenager to get a closer look at her. Her chest rose and fell with every loud breath, and Vic nodded to himself.

“She’s completely out cold,” Vic said before scurrying over to his yellow backpack. Mary and Blanca sat down, watching as the hamster crawled into one of its pockets, looking for something. For what, they had no idea. After a few short minutes, Vic crawled back out…with the cube projector and his last vial of memory orbs.

“What are you using those for?” Mary asked, immediately suspicious.

Vic paused briefly, stealing a glance at Nora before turning back to his friends, his black eyes resolute with determination. “This is probably going to be ethically wrong. But…I propose we look into Nora’s memories.”

Mary and Blanca’s jaws both fell agape. Look into her memories? While she’s sleeping?

“Isn’t that…I don’t know…invading her privacy?” Mary asked, remembering how she herself volunteered to let Vic and Blanca see her memories. Back then, she wanted them to see her memories, and there was a difference between letting someone do something, and someone doing something to you without your permission or consent. Mary was sure looking into Nora’s memories without permission was something that would be considered immoral.

Vic fell silent for a moment, contemplating Mary’s question. “Yes. In a way, it is, and trust me, I hate that I’m resorting to doing this in the first place. But something’s been up with her for a while, and I can’t ignore the feeling in my gut anymore,” Vic countered. “I think she’s lying about the reason why she’s on the train. I’ve been suspecting it ever since she showed us the drugs and the gun,” Vic locked eyes with Mary. “And her attitude towards you doing a complete 180 when we left the Pegasi Car just cements it further.”

It was here that Mary began looking back on everything that had happened. Not just since they left the Pegasi Car, but a little before that as well. Nora had refused to answer even the most basic questions in the School Car save for one, even though she, a teenager, could have easily gotten them right and moved on without difficulty rather than waste time arguing with the snail. Nora did whatever she wanted even when others advised her not to, especially if it was dangerous, then became angry when they pointed out how things could have turned out differently. In the Jungle Car, Nora tried to delete the email Mary’s father sent, claiming her parents—whom Nora had never even met—were only trying to manipulate and control her without listening to the whole story, refusing to give Mary her phone back even when Mary pleaded for her to do so. Not to mention claiming she was doing Mary a favor by trying to delete the email, even though Nora technically had no right to take Mary’s phone and read her email without her permission. Even Nora going off on Mary and calling her names just because Mary tried to cheer her up seemed wholly unnecessary and overblown. If Nora had just said “No thanks, I need some alone time right now,” Mary would have listened. Back then, she had chalked it up to just Nora being a teenager, but now…

Vic was right. The red flags had been there all along. Something was going on with Nora. Was she lying about her reasons for being on the train? Why did she suddenly decide she wanted to take every opportunity to snap at Mary over the littlest things?

A chilling thought entered Mary’s mind. No. It couldn’t be because of that , could it?

“Since she’s been so tight-lipped about her life before the train, I think we should look into her memories and at least find out the truth,” Vic empathized, holding up the vial of orbs.

“I’m not comfortable with this,” Blanca said, her expression forlorn and contorted in concern. “I understand where you’re coming from, and I’d like to know what her true intentions are as much as you do, but looking into her memories without her permission is a violation of her personal boundaries,” She reminded him. “I mean, I wouldn’t want just anyone seeing my most private and vulnerable moments.”

Blanca made a good point. Mary wondered if looking into Nora’s memories was a bit like her mother’s blog. Her mother freely told strangers on the internet very personal things about Mary that Mary herself would have preferred to keep private, and information that they had no business knowing about. She was sure Nora had plenty of things she wanted to keep private, and Mary was fine with that. The last thing she wanted to do was learn stuff that Nora didn’t want anyone else to know about.

“I know, and I agree. I don’t want to resort to doing this either,” Vic agreed. “But at this point, I can’t think of any other way to find out what her deal is. Besides, we don’t have to look at all of her memories,” He reminded them. “Just the parts that are relevant to what put her on the train. We technically can do that.”

A good point on Vic’s part. Now that she thought about it, Mary remembered how she showed them the memories that really mattered, like her first diagnosis, ABA, the Carnegie Science Center incident, and so on, and nothing that Mary didn’t want to show them herself. She thanked her lucky stars that the projector and memory orbs didn’t show them anything like all the times Mary took a bath. Just the idea of people seeing her naked was utterly mortifying. They didn’t need to see Nora doing the same thing.

“Besides, it’s not like she’s going to tell us the truth willingly.”

Another good point.

“If you guys don’t want to, you don’t have to look at her memories with me. I can do it myself, since I’m the one suggesting we do this at all,” Vic assured.

The more Mary thought about it, the more everything Vic said made sense. Her little hands curled into tight fists. As much as she didn’t want to do this, she wanted to know the truth and see it with her own eyes, to make her own judgment, even if she’d probably see and learn things she didn’t want to. But that was part of life, wasn’t it? Plus, she wanted to confirm her suspicions in regards to why Nora’s attitude towards Mary changed so drastically. As ethically wrong as this might be, what other options did they have at this point?

“I’ll look with you,” Mary told him. “I want to know the truth.”

“Are you sure?” Vic asked. “Anything could happen.”

“I am. I don’t want to hide, even if what we see might be disturbing.”

Blanca still kept her frown, but upon hearing Mary’s answer, her eyes adopted a resolute gleam. “If Mary’s in, then I’ll join you as well, mainly to make sure you two are safe.”

With that, the trio knew they had to go all in, with the only rule being that they promised not to look at any memories that Nora herself wouldn’t want them to see, like if she was taking a bath or anything private like that. The three of them crawled over to the still sleeping Nora, and Vic unscrewed the cap on the vial before placing it near Nora’s head. The orbs grew tiny feet and scuttled on top of Nora’s scalp. Once they clustered together, a strip of black tape shot out from it, with Mary catching it with both hands.

“You place it in here,” Blanca handed Mary the projector and showed her the slot where the tape was supposed to go. Mary carefully slid the end of the tape into the slot, and Blanca pointed the projector towards an empty wall. A light shot out from the projector, forming a square shape on the wall similar to a TV screen.

From there, gray static turned into a series of videos. The first one showed a five-year-old Nora playing with Barbie dolls in the middle of her room, with an older lady sitting in a plush chair sewing. The first thing the trio noticed was that Nora’s hair was brown. Mary assumed this was long before she dyed her hair. In the video, the elderly woman heard a knock at the door and stood up to answer it. Two people walked in, a man and a woman, with the latter holding a baby in her arms.

“Nora, honey! We’re home!” The woman with the swishy brown ponytail called out.

Little Nora smiled brightly and ran over to the woman. “Mommy!” Once she got close, she wrapped herself, arms and legs included, around her mother’s leg.

“Now now, sweetie. You might want to get down. Mommy has something to show you,” The older man—probably Nora’s dad, Mary assumed—advised.

Once Nora let go, her mother kneeled down to her level and showed her the bundle wrapped in the flannel blanket. “Nora, this is your new brother, Julius.”

The McDonald parents told the energetic Nora that as the big sister, she would have to help take care of him and play with him, and that because he’s a baby, he required a bit more attention, as babies can’t care for themselves. Nora squealed with delight, more so when her mother offered to let her hold him. She sat on the couch and stood still as a statue as her mother placed Julius on her lap.

“You and I are gonna be the bestest friends ever, Julius!” Nora announced.

From there, the images changed into more memories, some of them only brief flashes. Nora playing with Julius, teaching him numbers and his ABC’s. Her first day at kindergarten, which her parents recorded with their video cameras. The four of them going on a trip to Lake Erie, with Nora and Julius enjoying every second of it. Nora telling off some mean kids for picking on Julius, threatening to punch their teeth out, though never going farther than that. Nora working on a big diorama made entirely out of construction paper, with her father joining in to help sometimes. Nora’s mother taking the kids out for ice cream and praising them for both cleaning their rooms and getting good grades on their tests.

“She reminds me so much of Reagan…” Mary mused. In a way, young Nora and Reagan were eerily similar. Both of them cared very much for their younger siblings.

One video showed a ten-year-old Nora on top of the monkey bars, with a five-year-old Julius down on the ground, crying for her to come down. “You’re gonna faaaaall!!” Julius bawled.

Paying him no heed, Nora stood on top of the monkey bars on one leg, arms akimbo. “I’ll be fine! Look at me! I’m an acrobat!” After a few seconds, Nora climbed back down safely and soothed her distraught brother, assuring him that she was okay.

Mary found herself smiling at the image of Nora being an acrobat in a circus. She wondered if Nora could have gotten into gymnastics. Based on how she handled herself on the monkey bars, the possibility would have been interesting to see.

More memories followed. Nora playing air guitar in her room while loud rock music played. Nora happily chatting with her friends, with Julius chiming in every now and again. Nora and her mom going to a country music concert. But one memory stood out to Mary in particular. A scene played out in which Nora watched helplessly as a bunch of kids broke a diorama she had worked on, which quickly changed into Nora’s mother arguing with an uninterested principal, and another where Nora sat on the steps of her elementary school, crying her eyes out. Her mother walked out from the building, following from behind, with a similarly distraught expression. Her mother kneeled down to Nora, coiled her arms around her, and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Oh, Nora. I’m so sorry, honey,” Her mother held her daughter close, her eyes brimming with sympathy. Mary’s chest tightened. Her own mother never looked at her like that. “I wish we could have gotten those kids to face the consequences for breaking your diorama. But at least we know the truth, and you know I’ll always have your back no matter what.”

Young Nora gave a low hum in response, wrapping her arms around her mother as she did so.

Mary’s eyesight began to blur. Dana had never done any such thing for Mary whenever she was having trouble. She thought back to all the times Greg or other kids picked on her, or if she was overwhelmed by noise, lights, or crowds, and never had Dana ever bothered to console her, hug her, or even comfort her. Dana’s default response was to assume Mary did something and rake her over the coals, even when evidence proved otherwise. The Carnegie Science Center incident was only one such instance.

“Nora’s mom is so nice,” Mary couldn’t help but say out loud. “I wish my mom was more like her.”

But now that she saw an instance of what Nora’s parents were like, that only raised further questions. Whenever Nora mentioned her parents, it was always complaints about them, or how they seemed to favor Julius over her. The memories the trio saw seemed to suggest otherwise. Why would Nora’s mother favor her brother when she went out of her way to advocate for Nora when some bullies broke her diorama? Vic was right. Nora was hiding something.

Yet again, more memories followed. Nora starting middle school, hanging out with friends, spending time with her family, and so on. So far, nothing had indicated that Nora’s life was like what she had described. If anything, it almost seemed perfectly idyllic. Nothing like Mary’s own life, in which most of it was taken up by Dana either screaming about something or trying to manhandle Mary over whatever she wanted to make into a problem.

“Yeah, Nora’s parents are nothing like how she describes,” Vic confirmed.

“Still, it makes you wonder just what made her change into what she is now,” Blanca said.

As if answering her question, the scenery changed once more. The video showed Nora walking on a grassy area outside the school, chatting with two female friends. The trio saw a bunch of school buses on the street, so this probably took place at the end of the school day. Nora barely paid attention to the conversation, but her two friends were happily conversing amongst themselves. But the three of them stopped when they saw another student leaning against a streetlight. A tall, imposing teenaged boy gave them the side-eye, his head completely shaved bald, and he wore a gray shirt underneath a black leather jacket, green camouflage pants, and combat boots.

One look was all it took for Mary, Blanca, and Vic’s faces to contort in a combination of unease and confusion. “He looks like bad news,” Mary said.

“Understatement. It’s practically written all over him,” Vic agreed.

The two girls Nora walked with seemed to agree, as they were equally put off by his presence, even though he was adjusting the strings on his bright red guitar. “Ugh, just great. If he’s here then that means he’s on my bus route,” One of Nora’s friends—a blonde girl—groaned.

“Isn’t Xander in your chemistry class, Esme?” Nora’s other friend—an African-American girl with black hair—asked.

Based on how she pointed to the bald student when saying the name Xander, Mary concluded that that might be his name.

“Yeah. He’s awful,” Esme said. “He was kicked out of class for trash-talking the teacher and calling him a bunch of racist names,” Esme pulled on Nora’s forearm. “You’d best steer clear. I wouldn’t want to be caught within ten feet of him.”

‘Yes! Please!’ Mary, Vic, and Blanca all thought the same thing, praying that she listen to her friends…but considering how Nora is currently, they knew the outcome was inevitable.

Nora gently shook off Esme’s grip. “You guys go on ahead. I’ll be right over,” She told them.

Although they exchanged concerned looks when she answered them, the two girls left Nora alone, heading to their designated school bus. As soon as they were out of sight, Nora walked over to the bald-headed teenager. When he saw her approach, he narrowed his eyes into odious slits as he strummed the strings on his guitar.

“What song is that?” Nora asked, taking the initiative in making conversation.

“Something I’m making up myself. Haven’t perfected it yet,” The bald teenager replied tersely, but Nora could see the look in his eyes softening as he spoke. His voice was young, but it had a thick, gravely tenor to it.

Nora flashed a friendly grin. “I’m more into the rock and death metal scene myself. I’m Nora, by the way.”

“Oh yeeeah. I heard Esme mention you. Nora McDonald, right? I’m Xander. Xander Eisenach.”

It wasn’t long before the tension between them dissipated, and Nora and Xander were chatting and laughing away, like they had been best friends for years.

Even Nora’s friends couldn’t help but stare in shock. “Are you seeing this, Ayesha?” Esme asked, unable to fathom what was playing out before her.

“Just ignore our warnings, why don’tcha?!” Ayesha yelled.

The trio agreed wholeheartedly.

Static fizzled, and the video changed once again. In it, Nora sat on the big plush couch in her living room, watching a band playing on TV. Her arms were tightly crossed, her mouth formed a deep frown, and her eyebrows were creased, giving her a dour expression. Mary covered her ears, as the heavy metal music coming from the TV was ear-splittingly loud. Julius came into the room, wearing a thick green sweater, round glasses—which he didn’t have in the previous memory video the trio saw—and tan khaki pants. Mary noticed that his brown hair had grown out slightly in the back, around his neck area. In the video, he looked to be about the same age Mary is currently.

“Hey, Nora!” Julius smiled as he walked over to the couch, but didn’t sit down. “I found out that movie The Exorcist is gonna come on in 15 minutes. Do you wanna watch it together?”

Instead of a yes or no, Nora simply turned her head to face him and raised an annoyed eyebrow. “Ugh. How many times have I told you not to bother me while I’m watching TV? Besides, you hate horror movies.”

Julius gave a sheepish laugh and ran a hand through his hair. “Well, yeah, but I know you like them, so I thought maybe I could learn more about the stuff you like and we could—”

Nora sharply cut him off before he could finish. “No thanks. I spend enough time babysitting you as is. I barely get to watch TV by myself anymore, so I’d appreciate a little privacy!” She told him, her voice hard and terse.

“Uh…” This was enough to make Julius recoil, and Mary could see his arms folding over his chest like he was putting up a shield. “Okay then. Sorry for bothering you,” With a frown, he turned to walk away, but suddenly returned back to the couch. “Oh! I almost forgot! Mom said she wants you to show her your math test when you get it back—”

“Oh my God!” Nora shouted, slamming her fist on the cushion she sat on. “Will you just leave already?! God, you’re so frickin’ annoying!” She took a pillow and threw it right at Julius. Thankfully, he managed to catch the pillow before it could hit his face.

“Hey! You could have broke my glasses!” Julius cried out before stomping out of the living room.

Just like that, Nora went back to watching the heavy metal band playing on the TV. “Ugh. I’m always stuck at home doing dumb homework and babysitting that stupid brat. Mom and Dad don’t let me hang out with my friends anymore,” She grumbled to herself under her breath.

But the trio watching the memory video playing before them heard every word. Now that seemed more like the current Nora.

“Do you think this is when her personality changed?” Mary asked, scratching her right braid.

“Not sure. There could be more after this, since she looks younger there,” Blanca pointed out.

The video changed once again. This time, it showed Nora and Xander hanging out in what looked to be an empty field. The two of them leaned against a large oak tree, laughing and chatting amongst themselves.

“Aww man, that’s hilarious!” Nora bellowed in laughter.

“I know, right? Best thing I ever saw in my life. I couldn’t make this up if I tried!” Xander guffawed, clutching a beer bottle in his hand.

It wasn’t long before their laughter died down, and Nora found herself looking up at the sky rather wistfully. “Man, I wish I could do this more often.”

“Why can’t you?” Xander asked.

“Mom and Dad won’t let me,” Nora replied as she adjusted her boot. “Their shifts at work don’t end until four, and I gotta spend that hour looking after my little brother Julius because he can’t be left in the house all by himself until he turns 12, which is so bullcrap! Not only that, Dad found out I got a D on my math test, so he’s been hounding me about bringing my math grade up.”

Xander scoffed. “That’s gotta suck. Parents are so stupid. Once they have kids, they get on this power trip and try to dictate how you live your life. You shouldn’t have to babysit your little bro. They oughta make him into more of a man.”

“Pfft. That’ll be the day.”

Blanca, Mary, and Vic exchanged confused glances. What exactly did he mean by “make him into more of a man”? Whatever it was, the trio was sure it wasn’t anything good.

“I just wanna take a load off, y’know?” Nora slumped against the tree trunk as she continued to vent her frustrations. “Go some place where I don’t have to worry about homework or babysitting. Esme and Ayesha are no fun anymore either.”

After a brief silence, Xander flashed a grin. “I think I know just the place. I know a dude who always throws great parties, and he’s part of a secret club that I bet would be perfect for you.”

In that instant, Nora’s eyes glimmered, her interest piqued. “Really? Do tell.”

Xander shared the address to his friend’s house and what day and time this so-called secret club met every week. Wednesdays at 11:30 PM. Nora had a pen and a notepad on her, so she was able to write it all down. “You’ll probably need to sneak out of your house, though.”

“That won’t be a problem,” Nora affirmed. “Want me to text you so you can pick me up next week?”

“Sure thing!”

Just like that, the scenery flickered, changing into another scene, showing Nora opening her window, leaping onto a tree, climbing down, and walking further up a dark street. Only the dim illumination of the streetlights provided any sort of light. A car’s front lights flashed twice before it pulled up. Nora ran up to it as soon as the driver rolled down his window. Xander motioned for her to get in, which Nora did without any hesitation. Another scene change later, the duo was greeted by another man, who was scruffy and looked older than the two of them. The man invited them inside and guided them to the basement, where many other people were gathered. It was dimly lit, and the guests were smoking cigarettes and playing cards. One corner of the table had three plastic bags full of white powder on it. Mary trembled, hoping those weren’t drugs…but figuring they probably were.

“Wassup, y’all? I’d like y’all to meet Nora McDonald!” Xander yelled, commanding the attention of everyone in the room as he introduced Nora to the crowd. “What say we give her a warm welcome?”

Mary counted the number of people in the basement. Including Nora and Xander, there were twelve people total, several of whom looked to be Nora’s age. The guests greeted Nora with some brief hellos before the room quieted down.

Xander stole a glance at his friend. “Got the flag ready, Al?”

Al rummaged through a box and pulled out something long and red. “You know it.”

Vic looked down at Blanca from atop the marshmallow’s head. “What kind of party is this supposed to be?” He asked.

“I honestly have no idea,” Blanca replied, her tone unsure.

The two men unfolded the flag and hung it up on the wall. As soon as Mary laid eyes on the flag, her blood turned to ice. The flag was bright red, with a white circle in the middle bearing a black cross whose ends were bent in 90 degree angles. Everyone sans Nora, Mary, Vic, and Blanca cheered when the flag was hung, and even Nora merely stared at it with interest.

“Hey!” A light bulb flashed in Vic’s mind as soon as he saw the red flag. “That’s the symbol on Nora’s boots!”

“Oh no…I know what that is…” Mary stammered, her eyes wide with fear.

“Is it bad?” Vic inquired, but just looking at Mary’s face made him regret doing so. The terror in her eyes told him all he needed to know.

Her throat threatened to close up, and the noise from the cheering made her ears throb like drums. But she was able to shout: “Yes! That’s a Nazi symbol!”

Chapter Text

Blanca raised her hand timidly before stammering out a question. “Umm…what exactly is a Nazi?”

It only just now occurred to Mary that Blanca had no knowledge of what the symbol on the red flag was referring to, or its overall history. “Oh, that’s right! You don’t know about this stuff since you’re not from Earth! I can tell you if you want.”

Vic and Blanca got themselves situated as Mary told them what she knew. Or in this case, gave a very simplified explanation by cobbling together what information she remembered about it.

“Long long ago, way before I was born, there was this man named Adolf Hitler who was the…president of this country called Germany,” Mary began, but drifted off when she realized that wasn’t what he was called. But the name of his actual position escaped her. It was pointless to dwell on it, so she continued the explanation. “He was super duper evil. He hated Jewish people and wanted to kill them all, so when he became president, he made up this group called the Nazi party, and they went around waging war with a bunch of other countries, kidnapping the Jewish people, and taking them to these…slave camps. The Nazis did all sorts of horrible stuff to them, like make them work all the time without food, breaks, or pay, shoot them, or kill them with poison gas. Reagan said it was called the…Hall-Cost or something? Later, America and a bunch of other countries shut down the camps, defeated the Nazis, and saved whoever was still alive. Hitler died before he could get arrested. There’s a bunch of books and movies about it.”

Both Vic and Blanca exchanged horrified expressions. “How utterly deplorable!” Blanca didn’t dare bring herself to imagine the scenarios that Mary described.

“How exactly do you even know about this stuff?” Vic inquired. “I mean, I bet they teach this stuff in school so nobody pulls that kind of stunt again, but wouldn’t it be too bloody and violent to teach to kids your age? I bet just hearing about it would upset any kid.”

“Not me,” Mary affirmed, shaking her head. “Yeah, what happened was super horrible, but I don’t get squeamish from seeing or hearing that stuff. Reagan’s learning about it in school and sometimes I ask her about it.”

Months before Mary got on the train, she found one of Reagan’s textbooks lying on the floor one day. It was about the history of World War II and the atrocities that the Nazis committed against the Jewish. Mary found herself intrigued and read a bit of the book for a while. She didn’t understand a lot of the big, complicated words used, as it was a high school level book and far beyond her learning level, but the images of destroyed towns, shriveled up people, and piles of dead bodies told her all she needed to know about just how horrible this event was. It had happened to real people, people who were just living their lives and minding their own business, persecuted because some idiot hated them for what they were and wanted them dead no matter what. Mary had cried the first time she read what little she saw in the book, not because she was terrified by what she saw—she was, but not to the point it deterred her from wanting to learn more—but because she felt intense empathy and sorrow for the people who had to endure all this, living or dead. They had done nothing to deserve being treated like little more than livestock sent to the slaughterhouse.

“Wait…so you’re telling me this Hitler guy tried to commit genocide against a whole group of people long ago…and there are people in this day and age that actually LIKE the guy?!” Vic exclaimed.

She had no idea how to respond. Mary wished she could just tell him that everyone in the world hated Hitler for all the atrocities he and his cronies committed. But watching the memory of Nora, Xander, and their friends cheering as a Nazi flag was hung on the wall made her stomach tie itself into a knot. That single act answered Vic’s question in a nutshell.

It wasn’t long before the group in Nora’s memories began talking about all sorts of topics, many of which Mary didn’t quite understand. Something about immigrants taking jobs from hard working American citizens, or how the government was deliberately trying to brainwash kids into being slaves to the capitalist regime and woke culture rather than allowing people to think for themselves. Or how diversity was a code word for white genocide. So much of it sounded like little more than made-up jibber-jabber to Mary, there was just too much to untangle. But what was scarier was that Nora was smiling the whole time she was listening to the speeches. Her eyes were wide like saucers, completely enraptured, and her back and shoulders were perfectly straight, like she was watching a circus performance.

Static flickered, and the scene changed. Nora and Julius were both in the living room, only Julius was lying on the floor playing a video game console, and Nora was arguing with her parents.

“Moooom! Can’t you hire somebody else to watch Julius while you’re gone?!” Nora whined. “Why do I have to watch him?! He’s too old to need a babysitter!”

Her mother hastily stuffed some papers into her purse. “Heather’s still on vacation in France, and we don’t have other options right now, Nora. My mother didn’t exactly fall down the stairs and break her leg on purpose,” She told her. “Besides, it’s against the law to leave a child under twelve in the house all by themselves, even for a short amount of time. I’ve told you this.”

This answer did nothing to satisfy Nora nor alleviate her anger. “But my friends are having a party tonight and they want me to be there!”

“You’re not going to a party on a school night,” Her mother’s tone was firm and stone hard, and Nora knew full well that she would not be swayed. But the older woman’s expression immediately softened right afterward. “Sorry, Nora. This just happened so suddenly, and I need to make sure your grandma’s okay. Don’t worry, the next time your friends have a party, you can go. It just can’t be on a week day is all, and your father and I will be back before dinner. The hospital’s only a one hour drive away.”

“Is Grandma gonna be alright?” Julius asked, concerned.

“That’s what we’re going to find out, sweetheart.”

Their father came bounding out into the living room, dressed and ready. “Sorry about that, Brooke. Took me a while but I finally found my driver’s license.” He immediately turned to the kids, forced a smile, and said, “You two hold down the fort for us while we’re gone. We’ll call you when we’re on our way home, but if you guys need anything or if anything bad happens, call us immediately. We’ll have our cell phones on the entire time.”

He proceeded to go over various rules: No opening the door to strangers, no inviting friends over while they’re gone, so on and so forth. Mary and Reagan had been given similar rules when their parents would go out some days, whether it be with friends or out to restaurants to eat. The McDonald parents hugged their kids and said goodbye before leaving the house. But even after they left, Nora’s face was still contorted, and she used her bare foot to kick part of the couch. It didn’t do much in the way of damage, as she kicked a cushion.

“You shouldn’t kick the furniture, Nora. You could hurt yourself,” Julius reminded her.

“It’s just a stupid broken leg!” Nora fumed. “The hospital can just put a cast on her and send her back home! Mom and Dad don’t need to go check on her!”

Julius arched an eyebrow at his sister. “Broken bones are more serious for people Grandma’s age. Besides, aren’t you always wishing they’d get out of the house so you can—?”

“Nobody asked for your opinion!!” Nora shouted, immediately cutting him off. A hand immediately flew to Julius’ left ear.

Even Mary couldn’t help but cover her ears. “Poor Julius. He’s got his work cut out for him,” She mused. If her father had seen Reagan yell at Mary like that, he would have grilled her on the spot. Nora’s parents probably would have if they had left the house later than they did.

Seconds later, the scene changed again, only it showed a brief montage depicting Nora spending more and more time with Xander. There were some scenes showing Nora and Xander leaving the school grounds through the back door. A big clock in front of the school listed the time as being 12:10 PM. Mary had heard Reagan say that there were some kids who skipped school to go who knows where for all manner of reasons, but this was her first time actually seeing it play out. The montage ended, showing Nora and Xander leaning against a big tree in the middle of an empty, grassy meadow. Xander pulled out a box of what looked to be canned beer.

“Ooh, how’d you get this?” Nora beamed upon seeing the six-pack, her red eyes gleaming with delight. Xander flashed a smirk as he pried a can out from the packaging.

“Snagged it from my old man’s stash. He’s got so many of these he won’t notice one’s missing,” Xander explained it like he was the smartest person in the room. He handed Nora a beer can, and she wasted no time drinking some of it. On the other hand, Xander chugged most of it down in one gulf. “Hooo-ee! This stuff hits the spot, man!”

Mary winced at the sight of the beer cans. “I don’t think they’re supposed to be drinking that stuff.”

“Why is that?” Blanca asked.

“That stuff’s called alcohol. It’s a drink that messes with your brain and turns you angry and mean if you drink too much of it,” Mary explained. Her health teacher had shown her class plenty of videos about the dangers of consuming too much alcohol the year before, so she had a general idea of what might happen. “My dad says people aren’t allowed to drink it until they turn eighteen. It’s against the law, and Nora’s in high school, so…”

“And Xander encouraging it makes him equally culpable,” Vic finished.

It would be one thing if Nora had been reluctant to drink, and Mary had seen some movies on TV showing people pressuring others to drink, even when they didn’t want to. But Nora showed no signs of being uncomfortable with it at all. Whatever the case, everything they were seeing didn’t bode well.

“God, I wish we could do this all the time,” Nora leaned further against the tree, crossing her legs and taking another sip of beer. “You know Mom and Dad’ll kill me if they see me doing this.”

Xander scoffed. “They sound like real prudes. I swear, adults in this day and age expect their kids to be all perfect and then go off doing all sorts of shit, so who can you even trust?” He exclaimed before taking another swig.

“Right?! Lately my parents have been on me about my grades and don’t even let me go to parties anymore! It’s so not fair!” Nora complained. “I’m always stuck in the house with my dumb brother. I don’t wanna listen to him go on and on about dumb shit like penguins and farming games!”

A brief pang of anger rippled through Mary, and she couldn’t bring herself to keep it in. “Hey! Penguins and video games about farming are great, thank you very much!” Mary yelled. Although she knew Nora would pay her no heed, as they were seeing a memory, Mary was not going to stand for her slight against perfectly good animals and video games.

“He’s the one you mentioned is autistic, right? Can’t say I’m surprised your folks are keepin’ you in the house,” Xander said. “They’re trying to turn you into his glorified babysitter. I hear all this bullshit about how all these disabled people need to be accepted and we need to make our spaces accessible for them, but really,” He raised his voice up to a deliberate, mocking octave. “Why should we have to uproot our whole lives for them? It’s not our fault they turned out the way they did, so why do we have to spoon feed them everything in life? That ain’t our responsibility! Sounds to me like the government wants to brainwash us into becoming their slaves, just like with everything else! Maybe those so-called disabled people ought to just get off their asses and get shit done themselves rather than coast off welfare and sit around like babies!”

None of this sounded right. At all. Mary couldn’t figure out just what he was talking about. But she did understand one thing: Xander was making disabled people—and Julius by extension—out to be lazy bums when they really weren’t. What gave him that idea? Xander pulled out his cell phone and pulled up some web pages for Nora to look at. Nora took his phone and began reading through what he was showing her. The trio leaned in to get a better look, but the text was in a small font, making it hard for them to read what was on there.

“Even school itself is just a propaganda machine engineered to brainwash you and turn you into a shell of what you are! Going on and on about shit like diversity and telling you to forgive those who wronged you,” Xander belabored on, his face contorting into a disgusted grimace and lips curling into a snarl. “This is supposed to be a free country, but all the bigwigs are telling us we gotta make space for all these lazy bums and immigrants who can’t be bothered to stay in their own country! What’s up with that?”

Mary, Blanca, and Vic exchanged confused glances. They did not like the direction he was going with his angry speeches.

“Lemme ask ya something, Nora. Have you ever been through something bad, but everybody told you to just get over it and leave it in the past? And not let anger control you or some shit?”

Nora was silent for a moment, then she spoke. “Yeah. One time when I was younger, some boys broke a diorama I made. The principal didn’t punish them for it because their parents made donations to the school and he didn’t want to ruffle any feathers. My mom tried to get him to do his job, but he refused.”

The trio had seen that exact memory play out earlier. Only Nora’s mother never said anything about just leaving it in the past. She had apologized for not being able to get the bullies punished and told Nora that she believed her.

“Sounds to me like she didn’t do enough, and only backed down because she didn’t want to deal with it. What kind of mother can’t even fight to get justice for their own kid? How can you trust society if an elementary school principal can't punish people who deserve it?” Xander exclaimed, flailing his limbs to empathize his point. “Society wants you to just roll over, move over so they can just hand everything to people who don’t even work for it! Even your own parents! They’d rather push you by the wayside and put your brother on a pedestal!”

Lies! Mary could smell his lies from a mile away, and she could no longer contain her anger. “That’s not true! He’s never even met Nora’s parents or Julius!” She cried out, appalled that this man would even have the gall to make those kinds of assumptions. “And she’s not even telling him he’s wrong!”

That was what angered Mary the most. Nora was just sitting there, reading stuff on his phone and listening, absorbing it all like a sponge, not even bothering to correct him. Why was she buying into what he was saying? Nora had to know he was lying. Why would Nora just be okay with this guy insulting her parents and brother and not even try to stand up for them?

“I know you’ve got a lot of anger inside you, Nora. We all do,” Xander lowered his voice to a more soothing drawl. “The government wants us to just roll over and make us settle for scraps, but we have to fight back! Fight the brainwashing they’re putting us through! I know you’re angry, so why not let it all out? Fight back against everything! Be angry! Be angry and let it all out!”

Nora shoved Xander’s phone back into his hands, stood up, and kicked the tree behind her. Multiple times.

“You’re right! I am mad! There’s so much I’m mad about!” Nora yelled, kicking the tree with new vitriol. “I can’t go to parties anymore! I hate school! I hate studying! I hate having to always be the good girl! I hate not doing what I want! I hate being stuck babysitting my dumb brother all the time! I hate everybody trying to tell me how I wanna live my life!”

Xander shot up from the ground, smiling. “That’s right, Nora! Don’t hold back anymore! You don’t gotta hold anything back with me and my gang! Feel the anger! Let yourself actually feel alive!” He shouted.

The trio knew perfectly well that Nora’s parents weren’t anything like Xander made them out to be. They saw her parents treating her and her brother well, and nothing ever indicated they were deliberately favoring Julius over her, nor were they trying to make Nora into something she wasn’t or dictate how her life went. If anything, Mary wished Brooke could be her mother, as cruel as that kind of wish was.

Another montage of memories played out, none of them pleasant. One memory showed Nora and Xander spray painting swastikas on various storefronts during the night. Another one showed Xander, Nora, and other kids wearing ski masks running up to a mailbox and smashing it with baseball bats, with Xander shouting “Whoooooo!!” like he was at some party. The memory immediately after that showed Nora taking her first swig at cocaine, smiling and making weird noises, obviously enjoying herself, with everyone around her cheering, with more scenes of her and the others partaking in drugs following soon after.

“Ugh!” One party scene had multi-colored lights flashing everywhere, which hurt Mary’s eyes. Her hands flew to cover them, but they still throbbed even in the darkness. The party-goers yelling all around her didn’t help. “Ow! Ow!”

Blanca leaned in and whispered, “Do you need me to cover your ears?”

Mary nodded, and Blanca sprouted her arms, placing them on both the girl’s ears. Her squishy hands muffled the sound somewhat, though not enough to alleviate the throbbing in her ear drums.

Luckily, the party scene didn’t last very long, and a new memory flashed into place, replacing the previous one. Mary pulled her hands from her eyes, and she found that they were in Nora’s living room. It was dark, save for the lamp, and both of Nora’s parents stood at the doorway, their eyes narrowed into angry slits. Nora fired her own angry stare back at them.

“And just where have you been, young lady?” Nora’s father crossed his arms as he confronted his daughter.

Nora tried to stomp past them, but her mother blocked her path. “Nora, your father is asking you a question!”

“Mind your own business!” Nora fired back, in no mood to even so much as talk to them.

But they weren’t giving up. Brooke grabbed her by the shoulder, preventing her from leaving. “Nora, it’s two in the morning! We know you snuck out of the house! Do you have any idea how worried we’ve been?!” She yelled, keeping her hand locked onto Nora even as the teenager tried to writhe out of her grasp. Nora could see faint tear tracks on her cheeks under the lamplight, but she was unmoved.

“We were this close to calling the police!” Her father asserted, folding two of his fingers into a circle to empathize his point. “What the hell were you thinking, sneaking out of the house in the dead of night?! On a school night, no less! You could have gotten kidnapped or something!”

“Well, I wasn’t! Just leave me alone!” Nora snapped, pulling her arm free. “Why do you have to be such friggin’ control freaks?!” She attempted to stomp up the stairs, but her mother caught back up to her, grabbing her arm once again.

“You’ve been seeing that Xander kid again, haven’t you?” Brooke accused, the anger in her eyes intensifying.

“Get the hell off me!!” Nora screamed, and just then, her reflexes came to life. Her free hand jerked forward, landing a sucker punch to her mother’s face. The force of the impact was enough to send the woman tumbling to the ground. The trio gasped upon witnessing what just transpired, as did Nora’s father, who wasn’t able to grab his wife in time. But he did kneel down to help her up. Nora didn’t even stop to help or ask if she was okay. She simply turned and stomped back up the stairs.

“Brooke! You alright?!” Nora’s father helped his wife onto the couch, but the light from the lamp revealed something dark trickling down the woman’s nose. As soon as he realized what it was, he ran over to the bottom of the stairs and yelled, “NORA!! You get down here right now, young lady!! Apologize to your mother!!”

No response, save for the stamping of Nora’s thick boots. The silence told the trio all they needed to know.

“Okay, tell me you guys just saw that!” Mary cried out, barely able to process what she was seeing.

“We did,” Both Vic and Blanca answered in unison, their eyes just as wide from shock and confusion as Mary’s.

More memories followed. Nora arguing with her parents. Nora sneaking out to meet with Xander and his friends. Nora blowing off her former school friends whenever they tried to invite her out or talk to her. Nora getting scolded by teachers in the hallway. Nora dying her hair purple and pink. Nora in the principal’s office getting told off for both skipping classes, refusing to turn in homework, or telling off teachers. Over the course of a few short years—Mary could see Nora getting taller and Julius getting older with every memory that flashed by—Nora turned into someone completely different from how she was when she was little. At one point, another memory played out, showing Nora and Xander in the same clearing they hung out at years before.

“Uuuugh! I am SO sick of Mom and Dad!” Nora complained as she stretched her arms toward the sky. “I can’t wait to move out of the house so I won’t have to deal with them anymore!”

Xander flipped through his cell phone before turning to Nora with a smirk. “You ought to try living off the grid,” He suggested.

“Off the grid?” Nora questioned, raising an eyebrow. “You mean like, living in the wild and doing everything all by yourself?”

“Yeah, girl!” Xander exclaimed. “A bunch of my buds are livin’ off the grid so the police won’t catch them. You could totally do the same thing!”

It was as if a light bulb had lit up in Nora’s mind. As soon as he suggested it, Nora crawled right over to him, leaning very close into his personal space in intense interest. “Tell me everything! I wanna learn to live off the grid!”

In that instant, another memory flashed to life, showing Xander rifling through some books and giving them to Nora. The very same survival books Nora had shown Mary a short while ago. He also pulled a gun and its bullets out from a cabinet and gave them to Nora.

“You’ll need this if you want to get both wild animals and the police off your back,” Xander told her with an evil glint in his eyes.

“Oooh, thanks! I’m gonna be such a badass with this!” Nora squealed like she was a child getting a Christmas gift.

Everyone’s blood ran cold. They couldn’t tell which was worse, the fact that a man was giving a teenager a dangerous weapon, or the fact that Nora was eerily giddy over receiving said loaded weapon in the first place.

The memory changed yet again, showing an angry Nora sitting in what appeared to be an office, across from a large, stern-looking man in a suit. The nameplate on his desk read Principal Vernon Dennis . Mary could only assume he was the principal of the high school she was attending. The door swung open, and Nora’s parents both walked inside with shrunken, confused eyes.

“Mr and Mrs. McDonald. Thank you for coming today, and I’m sorry it had to be under these circumstances,” The principal greeted them with a dour expression, but still maintained a polite tone.

“What exactly happened? We came as fast as we could,” Nora’s father asked.

Principal Dennis cleared his throat before speaking. “Several teachers saw Nora violently beating up a disabled classmate and brought her here before she could do any more damage.”

Right then, Nora’s father snapped his head towards his daughter, his face contorting into visceral anger. “Nora, is this true?!”

“That numbnuts deserved it! She was hogging the entire hallway with her dumb wheelchair!” Nora shot back. “I did everyone a favor!”

Mary couldn’t help but be surprised that she flat-out admitted it. Most people in her position would try to deny it. Plenty of people she had seen on TV did just that. Even the principal’s mouth fell agape for a brief moment.

“Nora, this is a very serious matter,” Principal Dennis returned to his seat. “You broke the girl’s nose and for all we know might have given her a concussion. You attacked a student who was just minding their own business. We have at least twenty witnesses who saw the whole thing, along with footage from surveillance cameras.”

Unmoved by his explanation, Nora remained silent, staring down at her boots with her eyes narrowed into odious slits. But her silence spoke volumes to her horrified parents.

“Nora! I did NOT raise you to go around beating people up!” Brooke growled. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?!”

“Course I do! That bitch was in everybody’s way!” Nora retorted. “People like her shouldn’t even be in this damn school, but you suck-ups hand them everything on a silver platter!”

Her parents’ jaws fell wide open. “Nora…what has gotten into you?” Her father asked, his voice almost pitiful. Mary’s heart went out to him. His daughter was changing into someone he didn’t recognize.

On the other hand, her mother’s face turned beet red. “Let me guess. Xander Eisenach put you up to this, didn’t he?” She turned to the principal and explained everything. “That delinquent has been putting these God-awful ideas into her head and making her drink and do drugs and God knows what the hell else! He’s out of control!”

“He’s not making me do anything!” Nora argued.

Principal Dennis calmed them down before returning to the subject at hand. “Whether Xander Eisenach put you up to it or not, it doesn’t change the fact that you assaulted another student and sent her to the hospital. Her family could very easily press charges against you, or even sue your family and make them pay their medical expenses,” He explained tersely. “Last I checked, you don’t exactly have a job, now do you?” He raised his eyebrow right at Nora.

Nora’s father pressed his hand on his daughter’s shoulder, gripping it tightly. “Rest assured, Mr. Dennis, we’ll see to it that she faces the consequences for what she’s done.”

“Like hell you will!” Nora roared. She attempted to stand up, but her father forced her back down.

“Your behavior has become more volatile as of late, and we do not under any circumstances tolerate any violence towards anyone,” Mr. Dennis reminded her in a tone that left no room for nonsense. He then pulled a folder and began flipping through the documents. “Nor all of your other offenses. Disrupting class, reciting hate speech, vandalism, smuggling drugs onto school premises.”

Brooke let out an exasperated groan as she buried her face into her hands. Mary couldn’t blame her. No parent would ever be happy to hear their child has been going around committing all sorts of crimes.

“In light of this recent incident, I’m afraid drastic action must be taken,” Mr. Dennis informed her. “You are suspended from school for the next two weeks.”

Unmoved, Nora scoffed at him. “Good! Less time I have to spend in this hellhole!”

“Nora! Enough!” Her father barked. “You’re putting your education and your future in jeopardy!”

“I don’t need to be brainwashed into becoming a slave to the government to get a damn education!!”

“Furthermore,” Mr. Dennis added, raising his voice to get Nora’s attention back on him. “When you get back, you will be required to see the school counselor every day during your study hall period until the end of the school year. After that, you will be required to attend our summer program so you can make up for all the classes you missed and complete the work you failed to turn in, as you won’t be able to graduate with your current grades,” He eyed Nora’s parents. “Is that alright with the two of you?”

“Indeed it is!” Brooke shouted before turning to a red-faced, livid Nora. “And believe me, we’re going to continue this discussion when we get home! God, I am so mad at you right now it’s not even funny!”

“And I won’t mince words here: If another incident like this occurs, you will be expelled. No ifs, ands, or buts about it,” Mr. Dennis’ tone was stone cold.

A new memory surfaced, bringing the trio back to Nora’s house. Nora and Xander were in the living room watching TV, sitting on the big couch, laughing at whatever was on. Opened beer cans dotted the table, as did dustings of some kind of white powder. Mary balled her hands into fists. This probably wasn’t too long after Nora got punished at school.

“So glad you managed to get here when everybody else left,” Nora giggled, waving a beer can in the air. “Mom and Dad are eatin’ out, Julius is at the movies with a friend…this is the life!”

Xander wrapped his arm around Nora’s waist and pulled her close. “It’s so stupid that they won’t let you use your phone for the next two months. They ground you for that same amount of time, too? That’s just insane, man!”

It didn’t take much for the trio to figure out that Nora probably found some way to reach out to Xander and invited him to her house while everyone else was gone. If her parents came home, the two of them would be in big trouble. Deservedly so, Mary thought. Nora seemed to have no care for all that she was doing and the people she was hurting. Remorse was apparently not a concept in Nora’s dictionary.

“We’ve got until nine, so we’re still good for the next hour,” Nora reminded him before taking another swig, with Xander following suit.

Then, the two teenagers leaned closer to one another, their lips making contact. Xander and Nora made out on the couch, the sound of the movie drowning out the smacking noises their kisses made. Mary’s hands flew to her ears. The volume of the TV had been turned up high, and a character was yelling all manner of profanities that Mary didn’t dare repeat. Her ears throbbed once more, and covering them did nothing to muffle the noise.

“Calling it now, they’re gonna get caught and Nora’s gonna go off like never before,” Vic deadpanned.

He was going to wish he hadn’t been right.

Neither Xander nor Nora noticed the front door opening. In came Julius, who went straight for the closet to hang up his thick winter coat. Mary’s blood ran cold. Julius had come home early! She silently prayed with her whole heart that nothing bad would happen to him, but considering who was present, she knew her prayers were futile. He had large black headphones on, so Mary assumed that was why he didn’t pay much attention to the noisy TV. The headphones probably muffled the noise.

Once Julius had finished hanging up his coat, he turned his head and as soon as he saw who was there, his eyes shrunk. “Nora?!” He yelped.

As soon as Nora’s name passed his lips, the two teenagers swiveled around, meeting him face to face, their eyes similarly wide and jaws agape. Xander scrambled for the remote and turned the TV off, but Nora sprang up from the couch and marched right over to him, baring her teeth like a wolf ready to pounce.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Nora yelled. “You’re supposed to be at the movies with your friend!”

Julius winced, as Nora leaned too close into his personal space as she yelled, but he stood his ground, and as soon as he processed Xander’s presence, his face blanched. “The movie turned out to just be a little over an hour long,” Julius replied sheepishly, his eyes flitting to Xander, then to his big sister, back to Xander, and back to Nora. “You know he’s not supposed to be here! You can’t have people over when Mom and Dad aren’t home! You’re still grounded, remember?!” He cried out.

Before Nora could fire back at him, Xander walked up and shot him a look that made no effort to hide his contempt. “Hmph, so this is the brother you’ve told me so much about,” He flashed a toothy snarl and chuckled, like Julius’ whole presence was some kind of joke. “Ha! You never mentioned he was such a scrawny little nerd!”

Xander reached out and yanked Julius’ headphones right off his head. Julius attempted to grab them right back, but Xander backed away two steps, holding the headphones high in the air so the child couldn’t reach them.

“Hey! Give those back!!” Julius yelled.

“Sure thing!” But instead of returning them, Xander threw them to the floor before stomping on them with his thick boots. The headphones crunched and cracked as they were crushed to bits. Julius could only watch in despair as Xander rubbed his boots into what was left of his headphones. Worse than that, both Nora and Xander were roaring with mad, cackling laughter, almost as if they were enjoying seeing the agony on Julius’ face.

“What the hell is wrong with them?!” Vic couldn’t contain his anger any longer. “They’re picking on a little kid and destroying his property and laughing about it!!”

“I know, right?!” Mary shouted back in agreement. “Julius isn’t even doing anything to them!”

“Awww, its all bwoken!” Xander changed his voice into a deliberately, high pitched, nasally tone, talking to Julius as though he were addressing a baby…before leaning into his personal space, his face contorting into a threatening glare. “Guess that goes to show that you brain dead babies can’t always get what you want.”

Put off by Xander’s disrespect for his property and personal space, Julius took three steps back.

Nobody expected what came out of Nora’s mouth next.

“Xander, throw him out.”

“WHAT?!” The trio and Julius all shouted in perfect unison.

Wasting no time, Xander grabbed Julius by the arm. “No! Let me go!!” Julius screamed as Xander dragged him to the front door. Nora took it upon herself to open it, and a blast of freezing cold air made everyone shiver from the sheer, biting frigidity. But it did nothing to stop what was playing out before Mary, Vic, and Blanca. Julius screamed and writhed under Xander’s grasp, but his attempts to break free were futile. Not only that, Mary stole a glimpse outside. Thick, white snow blanketed the entire neighborhood, even covering the McDonalds’ front porch. Probably about two or three inches thick. With a growl, Xander pushed the boy onto the snow before running back into the house and closing the door behind him.

Concerned about what would happen next, Mary ran through the wall, phasing right through it, and saw Julius hoisting himself up, his small body wracked with shudders from exposure to the merciless cold. He had hung up his coat, so the only clothing he had on was a pair of blue jeans and a thin, short sleeved, olive green shirt. Even Mary found herself shivering from just how cold it was. Julius stood up and immediately began pounding on the door.

“Nora! Nora!! Let me in!! It’s minus two out here!!” Julius pleaded and begged to be allowed back in, but his cries went coldly unanswered.

Minus two degrees outside?! Mary’s jaw fell agape once more. Nora told her boyfriend to throw her younger brother out of the house, knowing how dangerously cold it was if one didn’t have a thick jacket on. Mary’s white hot rage began to boil over. This was her brother! How could she be so heartless? Was she even the least bit concerned that he might get frostbite or come down with hypothermia, or even die from exposure? Her heart hurt for this poor boy who did nothing to deserve being treated like this. She wanted to reach out and hug him, but she knew this was just a memory playing out in front of her. She’d just phase through him. But by God, did she wish she could ease his pain.

“Ugh! My keys are in my coat, too!!” Julius groaned, until he let out a gasp. “My phone!” He rummaged through his pants pocket and pulled out a rectangular cellphone, exhaling a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness I still have it!” He wasted no time punching in a number and turning it on speaker.

Mary stuck her head through the wall. “What’s Nora doing?” She asked Blanca.

“Helping Xander get out of the house before her parents come home,” The marshmallow replied. “She rushed him up the stairs telling him to go out her bedroom window.”

A pointless act, considering the three of them saw that Nora and Xander didn’t even bother to clean up the beer cans and powder on the table. Her parents were going to find out that Xander was here anyway, what with Julius likely calling them right now. Wondering how that was going, Mary pulled her head out from inside the house, observing Julius frantically talking to his parents. Blanca and Vic joined her soon after, unable to do anything but watch.

“Mom! Dad! You need to come home right now!”

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Brooke’s voice was slightly staticky from the phone, but there was no hiding the concern in her voice.

“I got home from the movies early, and when I got back, Nora locked me out of the house and won’t let me in!”

“WHAT?!” Both Brooke and her husband yelled on the other end.

“Xander’s here, too! There’s beer cans and drugs all over the living room, and he broke my noise-canceling headphones! Nora even told him to throw me out of the house!”

The trio leaned closer to the phone to hear Brooke more clearly. There was a brief silence, though they could hear murmurings of a crowd of people. Nora had mentioned they went to a restaurant to eat, so they were likely still there.

“Julius, do exactly what I’m about to tell you,” Brooke advised, her voice firm and calm. “If she’s there, go to Hisako’s house next door and ask if she’ll let you inside, that way you’ll be out of the cold. Or if she’s not there, go to Diane’s instead. We’re leaving right now, and we’ll be there in ten minutes tops. Don’t leave the house under any circumstances until we get there. Understand?”

“Yes.”

When goodbyes were exchanged, Julius wasted no time making a beeline for the next house. Luckily, a middle-aged woman answered the door and invited him inside after hearing what was going on. Mary exhaled a sigh of relief.

“Thank goodness,” Mary mused. She didn’t even want to think about what happened if Julius was made to stay out in this weather. Julius found safety, and was out of danger.

Another flash, and the memory changed, taking them back into Nora’s house. This time, her parents had come home, and surprisingly enough, the beer cans and drugs were gone. Nora probably scrambled to clean them all up in a hurry, realizing that her parents would come home not long after Julius did. Not that cleaning them up changed the fact that her parents knew what transpired here. Brooke was holding her shivering son close, wrapping him in a thick blanket and rubbing his back, while her husband was exploding with rage, screaming at Nora.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Julius could have frozen to death out there!! You could have killed him!!”

Nora rolled her eyes. “That was the idea,” She deadpanned, her voice dripping with sheer apathy. “Glad to know you two got your priorities straight.”

“Nora, this is serious!” Her mother yelled. “You apologize to your brother right this instant, young lady! This is NOT how we treat family!!”

Indeed it wasn’t. Mary couldn’t agree with Nora’s mother more. She actually had some sense. Unfortunately for them, Nora refused to concede.

“Hell no! You guys let him do whatever the hell he wants while I can’t even leave the goddamn house anymore!!” Nora shouted back, stomping right up to her mother as she did so. “Because heaven forbid we make the widdle golden boy cryyyyy!”

Her father picked up a glass beer bottle and shoved it into the trash before approaching the unruly teenager once again. “We VERY CLEARLY told you not to bring that kid here ever again! God, the lying, the sneaking out, the drugs, the booze, ditching school, flunking your classes, beating up random kids, and now this?! You need to start taking responsibility for your actions, Nora!!”

“Fuck off!! You can’t tell me what to do!!” Nora screamed, grabbing a piece of china from the dining room table and throwing it across the room. It made contact with the wall, shattering into pieces with a loud, noisy crack. Brooke was quick to pull Julius away from the wreckage, even if it didn’t come anywhere near him. But since Mary was within its path, she winced as the china flew at her, even though all it did was phase through her. Blanca wrapped a squishy arm around her, protectively pulling her close.

Undeterred by the new mess she made, Nora’s father grabbed her by the arm. “You are never seeing that boy ever again! You’re grounded until we change our minds!!”

“No!! Xander’s my boyfriend!!”

“Not anymore he isn’t!!”

“You are not taking him away from me!!”

Nora pulled herself out of her father’s grip and made a beeline for the stairs. Her father gave chase. Fearful of what might happen, the trio ran to the bottom of the stairs. It was easy to see Nora’s bedroom door from the stairs, and her father tried to force his way into her room—probably to take her back downstairs and make her apologize, or clean up the mess she made. But in a split second, Nora slammed the door. Hard. Her father let out a primal, almost animalistic scream. Mary’s hands flew to her ears once more, but everyone’s blood ran cold when she saw Nora’s father staggering downstairs. His right hand was reduced to a bloody red mass, his fingers bent and contorted in unnatural angles.

Another scream followed. It was from Brooke, who rushed her husband to the kitchen. Everything seemed to be spinning, with no cohesive flow to the events playing out before Mary, Vic, and Blanca. Brooke grabbed a tray of ice from the freezer, slammed it onto the table, and covered her husband’s bleeding hand. She screamed for her son to call 911. Julius, whose face was pale with terror, scrambled over to the phone, almost tripping as he did so. The horrified boy then ran behind the living room couch and spoke to the operator, his voice small and pitiful as he begged them to help his father. No one could believe what they were seeing. An entire house was in complete and utter pandemonium, and for what?

Unfortunately, this wasn’t anywhere near the end.

Thick boots stomped down the stairs at a rapid pace. Nora came barreling into the living room, hair askew and growling with rage, like a rabid wolf. She made a beeline for the couch, lunging at her younger brother and yanking the phone out of his hand before throwing it at the wall.

“Nora!! Stop!!” Julius yelled. He stood up fast in an attempt to free himself from Nora’s grip, but her hands latched onto his olive green shirt. She kept trying to pull him down to the floor, and Julius smacking her in the face did nothing to deter her.

“This is all your fucking fault!!” Nora bellowed, her eyes bloodshot. “Everything was so much better before Mom shit you out!! She should have aborted you the second we found out you’re autistic!!”

“Stop! Just stop!! Please!!” Julius begged and pleaded, once again, to no avail.

Brooke rushed over to her raging daughter, wrapping her arms around the teenager’s abdomen in an attempt to pull her off. But Nora’s long fingernails dug deep into Julius’ forearm, and she kicked her legs outward. One of the kicks landed square in Julius’ abdomen…and the boy slid backward, his sneakers slipping across the hardwood floor, unable to keep him upright.

His head made contact with a corner of the dining room table. Just like that, he fell to the floor like a rag doll.

Just like that, everything stopped. Even Nora was frozen in her tracks when she saw Julius fall to the floor. Her mother let out an agonized scream once she processed what happened.

“JULIUS!!”

This was too much. Mary fell to her knees, unable to quite process all that she witnessed. Her small body trembled as another montage of memories played out before them. Ambulances taking Julius and his father to the hospital. Nora screaming and flailing like a madwoman as police forced her into their car. At some point, Mary stopped paying attention to what was happening. All three of them were frozen in shock.

“What the hell…?” Vic stammered after a long silence. “I knew she was lying about her real reason for getting on the train, but…this is just…!” One word crashed into the other.

“Utterly reprehensible,” Blanca finished his sentence for him with an uncharacteristically bitter undercurrent to her voice.

Reprehensible. Yes, that was the best way to describe this whole situation. Mary’s shock gradually morphed into white hot rage. Nora was on the train because she tried to kill her brother twice and didn’t feel one bit sorry about it! How could she do that to a member of her own family? Not to mention the way she treated her parents and severely injured her father! Mary slammed her fists into Blanca’s squishy body in an attempt to alleviate the boiling lava in her heart, but it was futile.

Luckily, the next flashes of memories showed some good news. A scene showed Nora in what appeared to be a courtroom, with her father standing next to her, his hand in a thick cast. Another scene showed Nora stuck in the living room doing her homework, with Julius in the dining room eating dinner. He had bandages wrapped around his head, but was otherwise okay. Mary heaved a huge sigh of relief, slouching against Blanca as she did so. She was so afraid that Julius had died, as a blow to the head like that could easily kill someone if they didn’t get help right away.

“Thank God!” Mary exclaimed.

“I don’t think this is the last of them,” Vic pointed out.

Indeed, the montage of memories continued on. Nora being sent to summer school. Nora doing court-mandated community service by picking up trash over the course of the summer. Nora continuing to argue with her parents and act unnecessarily volatile towards them. Nora traipsing into the forest with an unusually thick backpack and hanging around in a sloppily constructed wooden hut. Nora sneaking out to do drugs and drink with Xander and his friends, ignoring all the rules her family set for her.

“Ugh, this is just…just…I don’t know what!” Even Blanca was disgusted by Nora’s complete lack of remorse for all that she had done. “Does she not feel anything?!”

“At this point, I highly doubt it,” Mary deadpanned bitterly.

Sure enough, another memory played out. It showed Nora, Xander, and other people sitting around an empty clearing, with a fire dancing in the middle of a rusty trash can. Night had fallen, so the sky was completely dark, save for the light of the fire rippling around them. Loud, screaming death metal music reverberated from an I-pod that was set up in the grass. Nora, Xander, and the five other kids were sitting around, drinking beer and laughing amongst themselves. But far from being fun to Mary, she could only wince at the sight of Nora stumbling around and laughing like a hyena.

“What exactly is so fun about this?” Mary asked. “All they’re doing is sitting around and laughing.”

“They're just getting high. There’s really no other explanation,” Vic replied, scratching his ear.

Not long after he said that, the shriek of tires against concrete caught their attention. A car pulled up to the clearing, coming in so fast that it wouldn’t have been out of place at a racing track. Out came Brooke, who immediately ran over to Nora to pull her away.

“There you are! We are getting out of here!” Brooke wasted no time pulling on her daughter’s hoodie and forcing her to her feet.

“Ugh! No! Get offa me!! You never let me have any fuuuuun!” Nora shrieked and complained, throwing her fists around yet hitting nothing.

Before she had the chance to leave, Xander stood up and approached the older woman, the fire in the trash can making his eyes gleam with contempt. “Heh, so you’re Nora’s mom. Gonna lock her in that prison you call a house, make her subservient to the corrupt regime and suck up to your little golden boy?”

“Oooooh snap!” One of the men whooped from behind the makeshift bonfire. Everyone else just laughed. 

Unfortunately for him, Brooke was not deterred, and she looked the unruly man straight in the eye. “I know what you are, Xander Eisenach, and I know what you’ve been doing! You are never seeing Nora again,” She hissed. “And if you ever, ever try to come to my house and do God knows what to her, or even so much as breathe in her direction, I’ll have the police throw your ass in the same jail as your father!” She dug her index finger into Xander’s collarbone to empathize her point.

Xander made a contemptuous scoff. “I feel so bad for Nora. Always being made to play second fiddle to your dipshit son. No wonder Nora hates your ass.”

The second those words slipped past his mouth, Brooke’s reflexes came to life. She slapped him swiftly across the face, and the smack reverberated in the air. Mary couldn’t help but smile. That was utterly satisfying to watch. It was high time Xander received some comeuppance for all that he did, even if a slap to the face wouldn’t really change much.

“Don’t you dare talk shit about my family! You’re the one who put those ideas in Nora’s head! If you know what’s good for you, stay the hell away from Nora!!”

With that rhetoric, Brooke forced Nora into the car and slammed the passenger door before getting in herself.

“Oooh, she got you good, bro!” The laughing man from before cajoled.

Vic shook his head in disbelief. “God, the more I see this guy, the more I just wanna deck him.”

Static flickered, changing the memory yet again. The light was on in the dining room, and the sun was shining bright. Mary stole a glance at the clock. 7:02 AM, it read. This probably took place after Brooke took Nora away from Xander and his friends. Nora’s father was hunched over the dining room table, holding his head in both hands, and Julius was eating a slice of toast with a forlorn look on his face. Brooke was leaning over the sink, deep in thought. Everyone looked sad and…more than that, utterly defeated.

“I feel so bad for them,” Mary whimpered. Her eyebrows furrowed into creases, and her heart hurt just looking at the sorry state of this family. “They don’t deserve to be put through this.”

“I am in full agreement,” Blanca chimed in.

It wasn’t long before Nora came staggering into the dining room, her purple hair mussed from sleep, strands defying gravity. As if knowing what was about to transpire, Julius finished the rest of his toast and left the dining room without a word. Just as he left, his father immediately interrogated the still groggy Nora.

“Nora Quinn McDonald, how long are you going to keep this up?!” He bellowed.

Brooke heaved a defeated sigh. “Harley, please. Can’t we at least save it until after we’ve eaten?”

Nora didn’t give her father a chance to answer. “Shut up and mind your own business! You can’t tell me what to do!” She barked.

Undeterred by her defiance, Harley pointed his index finger right at her. “As long as you live in this house, you live under our rules, and you are NOT sneaking out or seeing that boy again! All he’s doing is ruining your life! What’s it gonna take for you to realize that?!”

Nora snarled once more. “You guys are the ones ruining my life!! You think Julius is the goddamn king of the family and expect me to babysit him for the rest of my life!!”

“Nora! Stop trying to blame this all on Julius! He’s got nothing to do with any of this!” Brooke yelled. “God, what in the world happened to you?!”

Her daughter flashed an unrepentant smirk. “Xander helped me realize that this whole world is corrupt, and you guys are, too!!”

“Are you even aware that his father is a career criminal?!” Harley pointed out. “He spent ten years in jail for beating his wife, starting fights in bars, committing hate crimes, and is an unrepentant Nazi!”

Nora rolled her eyes. “He’s doing us all a favor!”

Both of Nora’s parents exchanged defeated, confused looks. This girl was not the daughter they recognized. It was like she had completely changed into a new person. A new, awful person. Harley threw his hands up before speaking again.

“You know what? It’s high time we transferred you to another school!” Harley yelled. “I am getting you as far away from that trailer trash as possible!”

“NO!!” It was like a switch had gone off. Nora grabbed the phone off the counter and threw it right at her father. Harley ducked, so the phone only hit the wall, leaving a fairly large hole. Before Brooke could tend to him, Nora made a beeline for the drawer and pulled out a knife, pointing it at her like a crazed murder.

Everyone sucked in their breath, even Mary, Vic, and Blanca. Sure, this was only a memory playing out before them, but it may as well have been a horror movie. Brooke raised both hands, as though a police officer was telling her to put her hands up. Harley stood up slowly.

“Nora, sweetie…put the knife down,” Harley softened his already shaky voice, gesturing for her to put it down. But Nora kept it pointed at them, glaring at them with unadulterated rancor. She may as well have been a woman possessed.

“YOU DON’T GET TO CONTROL MY FUCKING LIFE!!” Nora bellowed louder than she had ever done before. Even her voice didn’t sound like it belonged to her. “Xander was right!! You’re all trying to brainwash me and make me into Julius’ slave!! I should have killed you all in your sleep when I had the chance!! I HATE YOU!!”

Then, knife still in hand, Nora made a beeline for the entrance, throwing her shoes on and sprinting out the front door like the house was on fire. By the time Brooke ran out to catch up to her, Nora had disappeared into the trees.

“Nora!! Nora, come back!!” Brooke cried out.

“I’ll go find her!” Harley sprinted towards his car, keys in hand.

Another flash, and the memory changed into that of Nora sitting just outside the wooden hut, stuffing her backpack with books, her gun, bags of drugs, and two six-packs of beer. Once she finished packing, she threw her backpack on and began a trek through the woods. The trees weren’t densely packed together, and other than a few stray roots, twigs, and rocks, Nora navigated through the woods without difficulty.

“Shit…the police are probably gonna be on my tail,” Nora grumbled under her breath. “I’m not going back to that hellhole. I’d rather shoot myself in the head than ever go back there!” She looked up and continued talking to herself. “Xander said the Appalachian Mountains are the best place to hide from the police and live off the grid. But how do I get there?”

Just as she asked that question, a green light emanated from somewhere deeper into the woods. Mary knew exactly what that green light was. Sure enough, when Nora got closer to it, the light came from a glowing steam locomotive. The sign on the front of it read Appalachian Mountains .

Nora beamed. “Sweet! It’s high time I blow this joint!” She didn’t hesitate one bit as she stepped onto the train platform. With another flash of light, both she and the train disappeared into parts unknown.

Rather than transition to another memory, the area around them just changed to static. “I don’t know if I wanna see more. I’m done,” Vic said, shaking his head.

“Me too.”

“I am in agreement, but…there’s one more thing I want to see,” Blanca mused. “There’s something I want to confirm.”

As if catching on to what she wanted, the static changed. This time, it showed the quartet on the train, with Nora staying behind on the bridge, claiming she was motion sick and told them to go on ahead. But as soon as Blanca closed the entrance to the next car behind her, Nora sucked in a huge breath and let out a bone chilling scream. It was quite similar to how she’d scream in rage whenever her parents tried to confront her on her actions. Not long after that, Nora began kicking the steel railing.

“FUCK!! Are you shitting me?! It’s bad enough I had to deal with Julius, now I’m stuck babysitting ANOTHER goddamn autistic kid?!” Nora bellowed. “This damn train is doing this to me on purpose, I swear to God!!”

Once again, everyone’s blood ran cold. This certainly explained why her treatment of Mary changed so drastically. She must have believed she was being made to deal with Julius all over again. It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to assume that the train did pull Nora on and have her deliberately meet Mary and the gang, considering its purpose. Their encounter and travels may have been predetermined, probably so Nora could acknowledge her flaws and actions, or even grow outside of Xander’s toxic influence.

Regardless, the message didn’t stick, and Nora leaned over the railing, gripping it so tight that her hands blanched.

“One of these days,” Nora growled through gritted teeth. “I’m going to fucking kill her…!”

“NOPE!! NOPE NOPE NOPE!! I’m done!!” Mary screamed, the implications of Nora’s statement loud and clear in her mind. “I wanna get out!! I don’t wanna see anymore of this!!”

Just like when they saw Mary’s memories, they found themselves being lifted into the air, flying across a white void. Fragments of rectangular memories sped past them before another white light flashed.

Mary, Vic, and Blanca’s eyes shot wide open, and they sprang upward like jacks-in-a-box. The three of them processed their surroundings, realizing they were back in the Haunted House Car. Beside them, Nora was still unconscious, mumbling incoherent noises in her sleep. Knowing what they knew now, just being near this teenager made all three of them shudder. Who would have thought that ghosts and zombies would be less frightening than seeing what led to Nora getting onto the train? Mary in particular balled a piece of her shirt into a crumpled heap, but it did nothing to steady her warring emotions.

“We need to go. Now,” Vic was the first to speak, and his voice was stone cold.

“I agree,” Blanca gestured for Vic to climb onto her head, which he did so without hesitation.

As the two of them made their way out the door, Mary followed close behind. But she turned her head for a brief moment as she stopped at the door. That was when she realized something.

“Wait, what about Nora?” Mary asked. “Are we really just gonna leave her there?”

“Yes. We have to,” Vic asserted.

Static hissed in Mary’s ears as she processed what Vic told her. “But…we’d be abandoning her. Wouldn’t that be cruel? She’ll be all by herself with nobody to protect her or help her.”

As much as she feared being near Nora right now, in light of what they all learned, Mary couldn’t find it in her heart to just leave the teenager all alone. In her mind, it’d be no different from just leaving her to die. What if a denizen went berserk and killed her? Mary would never be able to forgive herself if that happened, especially if it’d wind up happening as a result of them leaving her by herself. Catching on to her concerned inquiries, Vic hopped off Blanca’s head and settled onto Mary’s.

“Don’t get me wrong, Mary, I know you’re trying to be kind, and trust me, that’s one of the things I love about you,” Vic began, pausing to sigh before continuing. Not sighing out of exasperation, more out of exhaustion from just how intense Nora’s memories were. “But we all saw Nora’s memories and how she got on the train. She’s made it pretty clear that she’s never going to change her ways, and for all we know, she could kill us all in our sleep if she wanted. Based on how she’s been treating you since she learned you’re autistic, it might happen sooner rather than later. She’s too dangerous to stick around with!”

Good point. Mary deflated in an instant.

“Even without all that, keeping Nora with us is just going to make us miserable. All she’d do is just gripe at you over everything, just like your mom, and I know you’d rather not deal with that.”

Another good point.

“Besides, Nora’s done pretty well herself with or without us. She’s been on the train longer than you have and survived so far,” Vic reminded her. “It’s not like us sticking around would change anything for her. If anything, she’d probably be happy to get rid of us.”

“After all Nora has done, showing her compassion would be a futile exercise,” Blanca said. “Kindness is an irreplaceable virtue to have, but showing it to people who have only ever been cruel towards you will only be a detriment to you rather than a boon. You shouldn’t feel obligated to extend a helping hand to someone who will only repay it with hatred and cruelty.”

Blanca was absolutely right. Ever since they invited Nora to join them, not only had she not truly helped them, she only ever repaid their kindness with anger and ingratitude. Considering her response to finding out Mary is autistic, they’d be signing their death warrants if they spent another nanosecond with her. Mary stole another glance at Nora, a forlorn frown on her face as she muttered a goodbye.

“Sorry, Nora. I hope you get off the train and see your family again.”

With that, Mary closed the door behind her. Surprisingly enough, the zombies and ghosts weren’t out and about yet. They had a chance to get out before Nora could realize they left, so they did just that. The quartet, now back to a trio, raced through the house, looking for the exit. Luckily, it turned out to not be too hard to find, especially without any zombies, skeletons, or ghosts impeding their path. They found a back door that led right outside, and even though the exit was far away, it was easy to spot, since its stark red color stood out amongst the dreary gray fog and the rest of their surroundings. Freedom at last! They stormed through the exit and ran across the bridge, happy to finally escape the Haunted House Car once and for all. If it was still October, Mary would have considered the Haunted House Car the most thrilling Halloween experience she ever had…but she certainly wouldn’t want to relive it.

The trio ran so fast that when they sprinted through the entrance, they didn’t stop to see what kind of car they were in. Once the doors shut behind them, the trio stopped to catch their breath…but Mary’s nostrils caught the scent of smoke. She looked up, and her blood ran cold. The car they were in was little more than a half destroyed city. The sky above was pitch black from smoke produced by the myriad fires scattered around the premises. Every building and skyscraper was either completely reduced to rubble, or still standing but with half their structures reduced to charred scaffolding. Some buildings were missing huge chunks, and Mary was sure the marks left behind resembled teeth marks. Bricks, broken pipes, cinder blocks, frayed wires, and all manner of rubble all but completely covered the concrete beneath their feet. A piercing roar pulled everyone out of their exhaustion, the source of it being a yellow, pterodactyl-esque monster with bug-like mandibles soaring through the sky. The monster expelled circular purple rays at an enemy that the trio couldn’t see. An explosion followed, and screams of terror echoed in the distance not long after.

Just when they had escaped the danger of the Haunted House Car, Vic, Mary, and Blanca found themselves in yet another dangerous car. God only knew how they’d be able to get through this car safely.

“...So, does anyone wanna just get out of this car and fly over it?” Vic suggested.

Mary couldn’t have nodded harder in her life. “Yes please!!”

“I agree. Assuming this car doesn’t lock us in, I am in full favor of avoiding this like the plague,” Blanca shared the sentiment.

Unwilling to put their lives in more jeopardy—and so soon after escaping the Haunted House Car, at that—the three of them turned right around to go back the way they came…but froze in their tracks once more.

Nora stood in front of the entrance, completely blocking it, arms crossed and her eyes narrowed into odious slits, staring right at them.

Chapter Text

“Man, I don’t know what’s worse,” Nora mused as she unfolded her arms to put a hand on her throbbing forehead. “The hangover I’m dealing with right now, or finding out you guys left me in a haunted house where zombies could eat me alive.”

A pang of guilt shot through Mary as soon as those words slipped out of Nora’s mouth. Blanca immediately went on the defensive as she sprouted an arm and held it protectively in front of Mary, keeping her narrowed, uncharacteristically angry eyes on the equally angry Nora.

“What do you want, Nora?” Vic’s question came out more as an interrogation, which wasn’t too much of a stretch considering Nora probably intended to do the same to them.

“Answers, such as why the hell you guys were pilfering through my memories,” Nora accused.

All three of them exchanged shocked, wide-eyed glances. Nora was asleep when they saw her memories. Her knowing that they dove into them shouldn’t be possible. “How would you even know that we did that?” Mary asked, her voice quivering.

“I woke up and heard the hamster mention it. I heard you guys talking outside the door,” Nora answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Mary shuddered. She was awake?! Since when, and did she hear their whole conversation? Mary didn’t close the door, and she did remember that their voices weren’t all that quiet. Since Nora had drunk quite a bit of alcohol the night before, they thought she was so inebriated that she’d be dead asleep to the point of not hearing anything going on around her. The girl mentally chided herself for not taking any of this into account, for not keeping her voice down, for not having closed the door…pretty much anything that led to Nora overhearing them.

Blanca didn’t move a muscle, keeping her arm in front of Mary as if she were a bulwark against enemy forces. “You are right in that we did look through your memories without your express permission, and for that, we are sorry. We make no excuses, and it was unethical of us to do so,” She answered Nora’s inquiry with an uncharacteristically strict tone, with no sign of her usual motherly lilt. Mary could only assume Blanca was trying hard to steel herself and not show any sign of fear. “As such, if you no longer wish to journey with us, you are under no obligation to accompany us. You can be free and do whatever you want. We promise we will not disclose what we saw.”

The tension was thick in the smoke-infested air as the four of them stood in a silent stand-off. Nora continued to scrutinize them, pondering Blanca’s proposal. Once again, Mary and Vic exchanged silent, wide-eyed glances, apparently sharing the same thoughts. Since all Nora wanted out of life was to not be tied down by people and be free of all responsibility, they could only speculate that Blanca was playing into the girl’s desires to get her to leave. It said a lot that this single teenager struck more fear and terror into them than the literal giant monsters wreaking havoc further into the car. For all they knew, she could explode and fill them with bullets.

…Only Nora’s response was a grunt and a noncommittal shrug. “Sure. Whatevs. I was starting to get bored of you goody-goody bozos, so maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t stick around in the last car,” Nora said, her previous anger seeming to dissipate. It was almost scary how fast she calmed down. “If that’s the case, I’m more than happy to—”

A piercing roar cut her off. The quartet swiveled to their right. A tall, orange, bipedal dinosaur creature caught sight of them, before it opened its mouth and shot a flaming sphere at a tall building that was two feet from the door. An explosion of fire billowed outward, sending the building to the ground. In no time flat, Blanca sprouted another arm, wrapped her hand around Nora’s backpack, and yanked her hard, pulling her out of the way. Not long after, the smoke dissipated to reveal that the destroyed building had completely blocked the exit.

Leaving the four of them trapped in the car together.

Blanca released Nora as soon as the dinosaur turned around and walked in the opposite direction. Nora could only stare at the fallen building blocking her exit in complete disbelief, as did everyone else. A heavy silence fell on the quartet before Nora turned around to face the trio.

“Well, shit. Now I’m stuck with you guys until we get outta here,” Nora hissed.

Of all the things that had to happen, that giant monster just had to trap Nora in with them. Could this get any worse? At this point, it may as well be guaranteed that it would. Nora pulled her pistol out and pointed it right at the trio. Mary gasped as she hid behind Blanca.

“So here’s some ground rules: You three are gonna protect me all throughout this car,” Nora asserted, keeping her gun locked onto the trio. “If any of you try to run or leave me in the lurch, I won’t hesitate to put bullets in your brains. So what’s it gonna be?”

The trio couldn’t believe it. Nora was actually trying to blackmail them into becoming her personal bodyguards! Mary’s entire body trembled, and her throat dried up from fear taking hold of her. On the other hand, Vic had no such problem.

“Why do you even want us to protect you when you’ve made it clear you don’t even like us?! Is this your idea of getting back at us for going through your memories?!” Vic yelled, enraged. “We already apologized! What more do you want?!”

“Sorry isn’t gonna cut it,” Nora growled.

What would? Mary thought.

“And for that matter, you can’t expect a literal child to put her life in danger for your sake!” Vic bellowed, pointing to Mary. “Why the hell would you put Mary through that?! She’s no match for these things, nor are the rest of us!!”

“Vic, don’t! You’re gonna make her mad!” Mary tried to dissuade him from arguing with her, but the hamster paid her pleas no heed. But he did have a point: With Mary being so young, and barely able to defend herself with what little fighting experience she had, there was no way she’d be able to protect Nora from giant, fire breathing monsters. Why would she want her to do so, especially when Nora made it clear she didn’t even like Mary?

“You’ve managed to survive the train just fine without us previously,” Blanca reminded her.

“None of the other cars I went through were filled with giant monsters that breathe fire and destroy whole cities,” Nora shot back with a retort. “Besides,” Nora flashed a smug grin as she pointed her gun right at Mary. “Weren’t you the one trying to convince them not to leave me in the Haunted House Car to die, Mary Summers?”

Nora’s tone softened into something sweet, almost babyish, when she addressed Mary. The younger girl’s eyes shrunk in fear.

“To think you’d be so heartless as to go back on your original proposition. I guess it’s true what they say about autistic people. You have no empathy or care for others, now do you?” Nora’s voice was dripping with sweet venom and condescension. “Do you even realize what you did? You left me, a helpless teenage girl, in a house full of ghosts and zombies that could have very easily eaten me alive,” Nora began pacing around Mary’s general vicinity, holstering the gun like she was some gung-ho cowboy. “If they had, it’d be no different than if you had flat-out murdered me with your own two hands.”

Would it really? Mary’s blood ran cold. Too many feelings and conflicting thoughts were at war with one another, and none of them were winning. But her eyesight blurred when she imagined zombies eating Nora in the Haunted House Car. Nora was right in that the possibility of her being murdered by ghosts and zombies was likely. It didn’t happen, since Nora was right in front of them right now, but what if it had? Since Nora had overheard their conversation just outside the room, she knew Mary tried to convince Vic and Blanca to bring her with them, even with all that they knew about what she had done.

Don’t give in, Mary. She’s just trying to trick you and make you feel guilty. You don’t have to listen to her. She’s dangerous!

No, she’s right! You did a terrible thing by leaving her behind! So what if she’s a cruel person? What you did is hardly any different!

For all you know she might kill you all regardless of whether you do everything she says or not. She’s just trying to use your insecurities against you!

You’re a bad little girl, Mary. You should know better than to put your own selfish desires above someone else’s life.

The voices in her head engaged in combat with one another, fighting for dominance, all of which were exacerbated by Nora’s continued interrogation.

“If the zombies had gone through with eating me, you’d be depriving a family of one of their children,” Every word out of Nora’s mouth was like a knife tipped with poison, stabbing Mary and twisting it every which way. “Ha! You’d be no different from one of those people who go around shooting up schools with AK-47s and killing innocent children!”

“YOU ARE OUT OF LINE!!” Blanca yelled, her normally soft, kind face contorting into such visceral disgust that it looked as though it didn’t belong to her. The angry marshmallow positioned herself in front of Mary once more, glaring daggers at the unrepentant teenager. It was unlike the marshmallow to yell, and since it had come so suddenly, Mary’s hands flew to her ears, and the girl fell to her knees, crumpling into a trembling heap. Even Vic couldn’t help but step back, cowed by the usually patient, motherly marshmallow’s uncharacteristic yet completely justified show of rage.

“Am I? Really? That’s rich coming from you,” Nora sneered. “You’re the ones who convinced her to go through with leaving me in the lurch, and searched through my memories without permission like a bunch of pervs looking at girls getting naked in the changing room! You can’t exactly claim the moral ground.”

Blanca sprouted another arm, coiled it around the hand holding the gun and forcibly pointed it downward, making it face away from Mary and Vic. “We know what you did to your family!!” Blanca bellowed. “Don’t you DARE claim that Mary is just like you or akin to a killer!! We’re not the ones who tried to murder an innocent child twice on the same night for petty reasons!!”

Even Vic wasn’t going to stand for Nora’s malice. “We only looked through your memories because we suspected you were lying about why you’re really on the train, and we were right to be suspicious!” Vic shot back.

Noise inundated Mary from all directions. Howling from the monsters. Blanca, Vic, and Nora screaming at each other. The rumble of a building crashing to the ground. The ground underneath her shaking her down to the bone. The voices in her head warring for control. Her head pounded, and she could hear it thundering over and over. It was just too much to bear. All of this was too much.

Undeterred by the trio’s protestations, Nora flashed a smug smirk and pulled out her cell phone with her free hand. “How about we sweeten the deal a bit? If you don’t escort me through this car, I’ll send the link to that Mother’s Fight Against Autism blog to everybody in my entire high school, that way everybody will know just what a pathetic little bitch your pwecious Mary Summers is!”

Mary’s head jerked upward. She knew about the blog?! When? How? A memory rose back to the surface. Nora had read through the email her father had sent, and he had mentioned the blog. For all she knew, Nora could have found it just by typing Mary’s name and the word blog in Google and searching for it that way. Just like Mary learned things about Nora that she didn’t want her to know, Nora learned things about Mary that she didn’t want her to know, many of which were flat-out untrue. But Nora wasn’t exactly one to believe the truth.

“You have no right to do that!” Vic screamed. “That’s not your information to disclose!! None of what’s written there is even true!!”

Nora let out another malicious laugh. “What’s the harm? It’s a public webpage that literally anyone can access, with or without my help!! Besides, even if the stuff on there isn’t true, it’s not like anybody reading it will know that!”

Everyone froze. For once, Nora made a startlingly good point. Dana was the one in control of the blog. Only she had the power to claim whether all that she wrote on the blog was truth or lie. The only ones who knew the truth behind it were Mary, her father, her sister, and possibly the police, assuming they knew about it from the Summers’ telling them about it in their search for Mary. Anyone else reading the blog could easily assume everything written about it was true because they didn’t have all the information, and there was no hard evidence made public proving otherwise. Not only that, the trio had learned first hand that Dana would rather die than admit she was wrong about anything. The possibility of her deleting the blog and admitting to everything may as well be zero. If Nora were to share the blog with more people, all that false information about Mary that Dana made up would spread too fast for them to control.

Mary clenched her fists. This couldn’t go on. Yet again, the blog was hovering over her head like an evil specter threatening to trap her in its hold. Even if they did do what Nora said, the teenager could still just share the blog with her high school anyway just for kicks.

“God, you’re the absolute worst!!” Vic yelled. “We never should have invited you to join us!! Where do you get off degrading Mary like that?! If you even so much as press a single button on that phone, I’m gonna sink my teeth into you so hard that you’ll wish you—!!”

“STOP!!”

A single scream pulled everyone out of their argument. Blanca and Nora turned towards the source of the scream, or in Vic’s case, looked down. Mary trembled as new tears trickled down her burning cheeks, her hands still on her ears.

“Please…stop…let’s just do what Nora wants us to do…” Mary whimpered, her small voice breaking. “Let’s just get this over with. Please don’t fight because of me…!”

“Mary…” Vic deflated upon seeing the sorry state of his friend. More so when he saw Mary take her hands off her ears. The four on her palm had risen to a ten.

Unmoved by Mary’s decision, Nora snapped her phone shut and shoved it back into her pocket. “Well, you heard her,” Nora crooned in an almost babyish tone, clasping her hands together like she was a kindergarten teacher trying to get her class’ attention. “I’m so glad we’ve come to an understanding!”

The change in Nora’s demeanor did nothing to appease the trio. But the decision was made, and they knew Nora would act on her threats if they didn’t fall in line. Reluctantly, the three of them went into formation. Nora was in the middle, with Blanca in front, and Mary and Vic flanking the teenager from behind. The reformed quartet slowly made their way through the ruins of the car, taking care to hide in whatever buildings that were still in one piece whenever any monsters came within their vicinity. All sorts of monsters made their home here: Malformed dinosaurs, Godzilla lookalikes, flying sharks, even a tyrannosaurus rex. Denizens resembling tiny buildings ran for their lives every which way, screaming at the top of their lungs as they did so. The quartet walked a long while, for how long, they had no idea. Luckily, the monsters hardly ever seemed to notice them after their initial entry. Mary kept her umbrella spear in hand as she walked, but she barely paid much attention to all that was around her…except for one thing.

At one point, she had looked up to see if any monsters were flying around. There were none so far, but a green light on Nora’s hand did catch her attention. Mary could only stare in frightful awe as she saw that the number on Nora’s hand had risen far beyond the quadruple digits. It seemed to cover her whole hand, nearly creeping up to her wrist. Considering Nora’s actions, her number going up wouldn’t have been that much of a surprise, but it being so high that it came close to reaching her wrist spoke volumes about her willingness to change her ways. Or complete lack of it. Mary pressed her lips tightly together as guilt settled into her gut. It hurt to acquiesce to Nora’s demands, but she didn’t give them much of a choice.

“Hey, Mary,” Vic whispered from atop her head. “You see Nora’s number going up too?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Vic was quick to reassure her, catching on to what she was apologizing for. “She probably would have killed us if we tried to refuse. Besides, we need to get through this car anyway. Let’s just focus on hiding from the monsters, since there’s no way we’d be able to fight them with what we have.”

Vic was right. He had mentioned this to Nora earlier. They were absolutely no match for monsters of such colossal size. If Mary had tried to fight one of them, her spear wouldn’t be able to make a dent, and they’d likely squash her flat. Many of the bipedal monsters were as tall as skyscrapers, possibly having the strength to match their mammoth weight. Walls of fire stretched across miles in the distance, their dancing flames eerily bright and beautiful against the smoke-covered sky. A piercing noise made the quartet freeze in their tracks. The yellow monster with bug-like mandibles from earlier soared across the air once more, firing circular beams of light. More buildings exploded into rubble.

“Let’s hide!” Blanca commanded, pointing towards a partly destroyed tower a few feet away. The top of the tower had been blown off, but the rest of it was intact, to the point where there was still a ceiling, slightly cracked as it is. Everyone went inside without a word, but Nora kept her eye on the marshmallow.

“We move again when the coast is clear,” Nora said, pointing her gun at Blanca. “Stay outside and let us know when that monster is gone.”

Reluctantly, Blanca remained outside the building to keep an eye on the yellow monster. For now, they were safe. Nora sat down on the floor, taking out a rag to polish her pistol. Mary found a wooden chair that somehow wasn’t broken and sat down. Her tired legs went limp from relief, but she herself was anything but. Just being near Nora made her feel like her insides were being tied into a knot. Nausea nearly rose to her throat. She thought of every day that she had been dragged to ABA with dread, knowing that all it would take was one word, one gesture out of line, and the doctors would be on her like tigers pouncing on their prey. Or walking on eggshells whenever her mother was around, looking for something to scold her about, then never letting her live it down for months, years afterward…and Mary could do nothing except apologize and do what her mother told her, no matter how much she protested on the inside.

Maybe that was what made her acquiesce to Nora’s demands. Years of being worn down by people who demanded so much of her, wanting to put her in a box, or scold her for every slight—real or imagined—simply because of how she was born, telling her she was a bad girl if she didn’t do what she was told. And here they were, forced to submit to this angry teenager all because they had made a bad judgment call in inviting her to accompany them. Her self-deprecating brain wasted no time scolding her for pretty much everything under the sun, louder than even the howls of the monsters wreaking havoc outside.

“Damn, that thing’s persistent,” Nora’s voice cut through her reverie. The teenager was looking out a broken window. The yellow monster continued to circle around various buildings, including the one they were hiding in, probably searching for a meal. “But man, it looks soooo cool. Xander would look so badass if he rode on that thing.”

Xander. Nora’s so-called boyfriend. Mary balled her hands into fists once more. It all came down to him. Against her better judgment, Mary couldn’t help but ask, “Why do you like this Xander guy so much?”

Nora shot Mary an annoyed glare before answering. “Didn’t anybody ever teach you to mind your own damn business?”

At this point, Mary didn’t care that Nora was mad at her. Everything made Nora mad. “He’s the guy who convinced you to hate your family, right? What do you even see in him?” Mary questioned her further.

Nora scoffed. “I can date whoever the hell I want. Besides, Xander’s been through a lot of shit and doesn’t have anyone who loves and appreciates him for who he is,” Nora answered as she slid back to the floor, her boots thudding against the concrete. “His dad beats him up and his mom’s a gold-digging slut who left to shack up with another guy.”

For all Mary knew, Nora might be lying about Xander’s parents and what they’re really like. But she did remember seeing that Xander was able to secure packs of beer fairly easily. He had even mentioned that his father kept a lot of beer packs in the house, which made it safe to assume that he was an alcoholic. Mary had seen a few movies where the main characters had alcoholic fathers who beat them or their wives up, so Xander being subjected to the same wasn’t outside the realm of possibility. Mary wondered if Xander’s mother left because she couldn’t take it anymore. She didn’t know, so what made Nora think that she knew what Xander’s mother’s motives were? Nora probably never even met her. Or maybe Xander told her and she never questioned it.

“That doesn’t make it right for him to destroy people’s stuff and say mean things about your family,” Mary asserted. “Actually, I’ve been wondering…”

Nora nonchalantly went back to polishing her pistol.

“Do you hate autistic people?” There, the question was out.

Nora paused, contemplating her answer…before beginning with another scoff. “Took you long enough to figure it out. Yeah, I do. I got on the train to get the hell away from you idiots, but noooo!” Nora slammed the rag back into her backpack. “Just when I thought I was free from being stuck to Julius, I’m stuck with you friggin’ people!”

Somehow, hearing Nora’s honest answer was…something of a relief to Mary. As strange as it was, Nora was finally revealing her true colors at last. That certainly answered several questions and explained why she did what she did to Julius.

Vic shook his head. The irony was not lost on him. “You didn’t even have to come with us, y’know?” Vic pointed out. “Blanca gave you the option to reject her offer. We weren’t exactly forcing you to come with us at gunpoint, like what you’re doing with us right now.”

Nora shot a glare at the hamster. “Had I known earlier, I would have gotten the hell outta dodge. Maybe you should have said something earlier!”

“We had no reason to!” Vic shot back.

Just before a fight could break out, Blanca came back into the building. “The flying monster is gone. We’d best move out,” She told them.

When the quartet walked outside, indeed, the yellow flier had disappeared. But they couldn’t rest on their laurels. They had no idea how big the car was, or how much farther the exit was. It felt like hours since they first got here. The fires in the distance seemed to increase in their intensity, and as a result, the air rippled with heat, making the environment look as though everything was wobbling. The quartet marched on, but the trek was not pleasant. The oppressive heat seemed to drain everyone of their energy like a vacuum cleaner. Mary’s skin became slick with perspiration, turning parts of her clothes damp and making them stick to her like glue. Every step she walked made her feel like she had cinder blocks strapped to her legs. Mary’s spear grew heavy in her hands, and her arms began to throb. There was no shade available, since every building was either destroyed or reduced to rubble. Monsters roaring in the distance made her head pound. Everything was steadily becoming more and more intolerable to bear.

“Ugh…too hot…can’t…” Mary tried to take one more step, but she stumbled forward, falling to her knees. Blanca was able to sprout an arm and keep her from falling face first on the ground.

“Quit your whining, you brat! We still have a ton of ground to cover!” Nora yelled.

Blanca held Mary close and shot a glare at the teenager, appalled by her callousness. “Nora, she’s just a child! We need to rest at some point!” She exclaimed.

“No! We don’t rest!” Nora snapped back, swiping her hand in the air as though she were swatting a fly. “I’m the one giving orders here, not you!”

Wait…had something like this happened before? Mary felt a sense of deja vu. Come to think of it, Nora had done something similar back when they went through the Phoenix Car. Only now the stakes were much higher, both with Nora blackmailing them and being surrounded by monsters that could kill them.

Vic’s soft features contorted into a visceral snarl. “I’m not even surprised you’re pulling this stunt a second time!” He shouted. “Mary needs to rest! If you’re really that desperate to get out of here, you can leave on your own! We can handle ourselves just fine without you!”

“Vic, stop! You’re forgetting that she’ll just—” Only as the words left Vic’s mouth did Mary realize that in his rage, he had completely forgotten Nora’s threat. She attempted to remind him, but Nora did it for her, only she did it by pulling out her phone.

“Careful, now. You’re not in any position to order me around,” Nora reminded them, her tone dripping with condescension. “Or do you not care about Mary’s reputation?”

It was amazing how much of an iron grip she had on them. Mary in particular. The three of them fell silent, unable to say anything more. Not that they had a chance to do so, as the ground shook underneath them. Another monster stomped through the premises, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake. Dangerously close to Mary and the others.

“We’d best find shelter again until it passes,” Blanca asserted.

For once, Nora didn’t try to argue with them. Luckily, it didn’t take long for them to find another stable building that wasn’t destroyed. This one was bigger than the one they used previously, and while there were many cracks in the ceiling, it still managed to hide them from any monsters that passed by.

“Ugh. Gotta use the bathroom,” Nora grumbled as she made her way behind the building.

Finally, for the first time since they entered this car, Mary, Vic, and Blanca had a brief moment of privacy and reprieve. All three of them slouched to the floor, exhaling big sighs, intent to relish every moment of this fleeting solace. Fleeting, since Nora could easily finish doing her business quickly, and the monsters lurking right outside. Knowing how impatient Nora was, she’d want to throw everyone back into the fray regardless of whether they wanted to or not. She had proven that multiple times previously.

“Mary, Vic…I must apologize profusely,” Blanca was the first to speak up, her voice strangely brittle and fragile this time around.

“Why? You didn’t do anything,” Mary asked.

Blanca shook her head. “I was the one who invited Nora to join us, and knowing what we know now, it was a bad judgment call on my part,” The marshmallow’s body slouched forward, matching her deep frown and slack posture. “You two have been made to endure all this needless hardship through my careless act of kindness, and for that, I cannot apologize enough.”

Mary hadn’t seen Blanca looking this forlorn since she first reunited with Shiro back in the Pegasus Car. She must have been carrying a lot of guilt about Nora after seeing her memories. But Mary wasn’t going to let Blanca shoulder this burden alone.

“You didn’t know what she was really like, though. You had no way of knowing for sure! None of us did! How could we?” Mary exclaimed, extending a hand to rub the marshmallow in an attempt to comfort her. “We can’t exactly read her mind or see into the future, so anything could have happened!”

For as much as she tried to reassure Blanca, Mary did find herself wishing that she could read minds or see into the future. It’d make life so much easier. A lump rose in her throat as the thought came to mind.

“We have no choice but to make do with the hand we’ve been dealt,” Vic reminded them. “I’d like to cut loose from Nora as much as you do, but we need to find some way to make sure she doesn’t tell other people about the blog. Mary doesn’t need more people judging her and seeing information they have no business accessing.”

“She uses her phone a lot, though,” Mary said, brushing some sweat-slicked hair out from her eyes. “And we can’t just take it and break it. That’s bad.”

Doing that would certainly solve the problem, but it would just give Nora incentive to do worse things to them. Kill them, probably. Plus, destruction of someone else’s property was illegal. There seemed to be no real solution to the problem. At least, no solution that wouldn’t save them from Nora’s wrath. The three were at an impasse.

But the trio weren’t given more time to contemplate further, as Nora had returned. “Hey! Back on the road!”

All three of them glared daggers at her. God, Vic and Mary wanted to punch her so badly. This girl had no right to lord over them and order them around like they were her servants. Xander probably convinced her to believe that anyone who wasn’t her or didn’t share her worldview was beneath her. That wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility. But for now, all they could do was steel themselves and continue on. The exit couldn’t be that much further, could it?

Further up, two monsters were engaged in battle. One of them, a black bipedal dinosaur with spikes lining its spine, had its hand wrapped around the tail of the yellow flier with bug-like mandibles. The yellow monster screeched and flapped its wings aggressively in an attempt to flee, but the dinosaur’s grip was iron tight. The quartet gave them a wide berth, stealthily moving from one destroyed building to another. The monsters were, thankfully, too focused on their own quarrel to notice the humans and denizens maneuvering their way past them. The quartet managed to get ahead of them, but they couldn’t rest on their laurels. Not when danger was literally all around them.

“Ow…” Mary’s hands covered her ears once more, as the monsters’ loud, guttural roars cut deep into her ear drums. She wished she could just stop and put her ear plugs in, but didn’t, as Nora would find out and yell at her for not guarding her.

Then again…why did Nora want the trio to be her bodyguards? It wasn’t like Mary, Vic, or Blanca could easily stand up to the giant monsters or fight them off. Granted, Blanca could transform into something akin to the monsters and maybe fight them, but she couldn’t stay in one form for a long period of time without shrinking. Vic and Mary stood no chance against them. Or did Nora just want an excuse to treat them like her own personal servants while she just laid around refusing to pull her own weight? Mary pursed her lips together in a thin, bitter line. Was any of this even necessary?

Mary quietly scooted over to Blanca. “I was thinking…would it be easier if we just flew to the exit?” Mary whispered a suggestion. “We wouldn’t have to walk so much.”

“I thought about doing that as well, but…look up there,” Blanca whispered back, pointing up to the sky. Mary and Vic looked up, catching sight of several winged monsters engaged in aerial combat. “They’d probably pursue us if we went that route, and for all we know, we might catch the attention of the monsters down on the ground.”

Good point. Mary could only hum in disappointment. So much for getting to the exit faster.

“Hey! You two better not be plotting a mutiny back there!” Nora snapped.

“We don’t know what a mutiny even is!” Mary shot back.

Nora stopped in her tracks…before doubling over in laughter, like she heard the best joke in the world.

“Oh man! You don’t even know what a mutiny is?! Damn, you’re even stupider than I thought!” Nora howled. “Do they even teach you anything in whatever backwater school you go to, or are you just that dumb?!”

Mary’s cheeks heated in an instant. What was so bad about not knowing what a mutiny was? Was Mary supposed to know?

“Nora, you should never demean someone for lacking knowledge of certain terms or concepts. Nobody's born knowing everything in the world. Just because they haven’t been taught yet, that doesn’t make them stupid, nor is it a reason to make fun of them,” Blanca adopted her stern mother tone once more. “And no, we’re not plotting a revolt or rebellion, just so you know.”

So a mutiny was a word for planning an uprising, like sailors going against their captain’s orders. That made sense. Mary’s embarrassment morphed into simmering anger. She was acting just like Xander was when he broke Julius’ headphones. Her hands trembled as she clutched onto her spear. What right did Nora have to think that Mary not knowing what certain words meant was funny?

“Sure sure, whatever. Keep telling yourself that,” Nora brushed off Blanca’s answer and rolled her eyes. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re really planning. Just keep moving and do your job. You’d have blood on your hands if I die.”

Vic gritted his teeth. “If she keeps this up, I’ll have her blood on my teeth!”

“You can say that again,” Mary agreed. How long was this going to go on?

Stone and rubble erupted behind them. Something huge and piscine rose from the destruction, dirt and gravel cascading from its gray hide, towering at least fifteen feet into the air. It resembled a shark, but this one had four clawed feet and an extra layer of hide on top, making it look more like some kind of mutated dinosaur/shark mix from a monster movie. A pervasive, musky smell wafted from it, mixing with the equally thick, oppressive smoke from the destruction it left in its wake, and its impossibly long, large face twisted into a permanent snarl. It wasn’t long before its gaze fixated on the tiny quartet, amber eyes shining with nothing but feral, murderous intent.

“RUUUUN!!” Vic screamed as the monster lunged right at them. Blanca grabbed Nora and Mary, leaping away from the shark monster’s maw as soon as it got close. The shark monster’s mouth made contact with the concrete ground, its rock-like teeth crunching through it to make a thick crater not unlike a giant sinkhole.

Once they were some distance away from the struggling shark monster, Blanca put Mary and Nora back down, gesturing for them to run. Their legs scrambled to carry them as far as possible, but a hollow, guttural roar thundered behind them. The shark monster opened its mouth, and an orb of green light began forming in the base of its throat. Realizing what was going to happen, Blanca pulled everyone behind a pile of thick rocks and concrete just off to the side. Just as they managed to hide, a flashing green laser of light blazed past them at head height, incinerating the skeletal remains of a metal skyscraper, reducing it to little more than a pile of ash. The smoke from the ensuing blast carried an acrid smell of charcoal and boiling metal. The laser had cut through other buildings that happened to be within its immediate vicinity, not outright destroying them, but charring them enough that they were reduced to skeletal scaffolding.

They had no time to run further, as the shark monster saw them immediately and began charging at them at full speed. Once it got close, Nora grabbed Mary by the arm and pulled her to one side, away from Blanca and Vic. Knowing that the shark monster was closing in, Blanca leaped to the other side. The shark monster barreled right past them, colliding with the bottom half of a broken building, reducing it to rubble. One particularly large chunk of debris fell on top of Blanca, pinning her to the ground. It wasn’t so big that it completely flattened her, as the rock was about the size of a computer screen, but it felt as heavy as a fully loaded van.

Nora and Mary found themselves on another pile of debris. It was nowhere near high enough to obscure them from the shark monster’s line of sight, especially since the behemoth’s eyes were on the sides of its face rather than in front like a person’s, what with it being part fish. All the sudden loud noises around Mary seemed to stab her in every direction, giving her brain no time to think. Not even covering her ears shielded them from further assault. What could she do? Were Blanca and Vic okay? The behemoth’s body was so large, it completely obscured her view of her friends. She wanted to reach out, or even run behind the monster so she could check on them, but refrained. If she tried to move, for all she knew, the monster would immediately go on the attack. What was even the best option here? Her brain was a maelstrom of conflicting desires and rules to follow, and none of them seemed right for the current situation. She had no time to settle on one, as the shark monster turned right in their direction.

Gunshots rang out next to her. None of them left so much as a mark. “Dammit!!” Nora growled as she shot at it three more times.

The noise from the gunshots made Mary fall to her knees, adding onto the inundating chaos. Everything overwhelmed her. She mentally chastised herself for not being able to just put up with the noise and make some effort to help, or at the very least fight it off. Sure, she couldn’t defeat it, since the size difference between them was massive, but there had to be something she could do. Anything! But what was it?

In that instant, Mary felt something grab the back of her shirt before the sensation of getting yanked overwhelmed her. The force was such that her feet came off the ground. Mary found herself face to face with the very monster they had been trying to avoid. Its maw gaped improbably wide, greeting her with rows of teeth so sharp that they could easily tear her into ribbons…and it was coming closer, ready to swallow her whole. Mary’s heartbeat pounded in her ears as she went limp, transfixed by terror as she realized she had no way to escape this situation. To think this was how she was going to meet her end: Food for a literal monster.

…With Nora offering her to the beast.

Then, as if by magic, a wall of white sprung to life and slammed into the shark monster with such force that it fell right on its side, thudding hard against the concrete. The resulting rumble was enough to make both Nora and Mary tumble backward, falling down the pile of rubble they stood on. It hit Mary right then that this was her chance to break free. Before Nora had the chance to reorient herself, Mary pulled her shirt collar out from the teenager’s fingers and ran from the rubble to put some distance between them. As she ran out from behind the tower of debris, she watched as Blanca—who had transformed into a white, dragon-like creature—wrangled the shark monster by wrapping her legs around its neck, probably in an attempt to suffocate it. Unfortunately, it didn’t work, as the shark monster writhed enough that it forced Blanca to release it. But rather than engage in further combat with her, the shark monster turned tail and flew away, no longer interested in pursuing them.

“Mary! You okay?!” Vic leaped onto Mary’s shoulder when he saw what happened.

“Y-Y-Yeah…I think…” Mary’s voice shook as she tried to speak, but her mind was reeling from all that had happened. Ice ran through her veins. All throughout her entire body. Even though the hellscape around her was thick with heat, her whole being felt…cold, if such a thing was possible. Her heartbeat was deafening. More so than the guttural roars of the monster.

Once the shark monster had disappeared, Blanca flew back to the debris pile and reached down to carry Mary, Vic, and Nora in her arms. With a single flap of her wings, she ascended into the smoky sky, high enough that the heat from the fires didn’t reach them. Mary and Vic were quick to notice that Nora was clenched tightly in Blanca’s left hand, keeping her out of reach from the others. The two of them could only assume that Blanca had seen what Nora had tried to do and made sure that the teenager wouldn’t do anything to them in her current position. Thankfully, there were no flying monsters in the sky at the moment, so Blanca found it safe to soar across the flaming hellscape, high above the behemoths below. At one point, something slipped out of Nora’s pants pocket.

Something shaped like a rectangle.

“No!! My phone!!” Nora yelled as she tried to reach for it, but since Blanca had her talons around her arms, she couldn’t reach beyond a certain point. Both Nora and Mary watched as the former’s phone fell to the ground below. From their height, Mary was sure Nora’s phone would be smashed to pieces upon impact.

As bad as Nora’s phone being broken was…this solved their biggest problem.

“I see the exit!!” Vic yelled, pointing further into the horizon.

With a flap of her wings, Blanca increased her speed, soaring as fast as she could to avoid any monsters that could try and attack them. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, they found the exit. Once they got close, Blanca descended to the ground. It helped that the exit was in a relatively open clearing that didn’t have much debris around it, and so far, there weren’t any monsters nearby. Once they landed, Blanca immediately morphed back to normal.

In that moment, when she finally processed what Nora had tried to do, the ice in Mary’s veins had instantly melted, replaced by nothing but fire.

The words that had been stuck in Mary’s throat came spilling right out. “YOU TRIED TO FEED ME TO THAT SHARK MONSTER!!” Mary screamed, pointing to Nora like a detective cornering a criminal. She was sure she could see red-hot blood pumping in the corners of her vision. Whether it was her own anger taking over or the oppressive heat messing with her eyes, Mary didn’t know, and at this point, she didn’t care.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Vic bellowed. “You were already bad before, but this is a new low even for you!!”

Just like before, Nora’s expression and posture showed absolutely no remorse. “Come on! She didn’t do her job properly! She’s fucking useless! If anything, I was doing you two a favor!” Nora shot back.

Useless. Everyone had told Nora that Mary was in no way capable of fighting those monsters. Mary knew it, and she knew it was nothing to be ashamed of. It was better to avoid fights you can’t win. But Nora refused to listen, and here she was, dismissing their valid concerns like they were little more than conjecture. And she was saying that nearly feeding Mary to the shark monster was a GOOD THING?

Something snapped inside Mary. This was beyond the pale.

“NO!! NO!! We’re done!! We’re through!! No more!!” Overwhelmed by white hot anger, Mary marched right up to Nora and jabbed her index finger in her face like a mother scolding her unruly child. She wondered if this was what Nora’s mother felt when she found out about her crimes. “You don’t get to say I’m useless when all you did was order us around like some spoiled brat!! And you never even so much as said thank you for all the things we tried to do for you, so you’re not only useless, you’re ungrateful!!”

“Don’t you dare—” Nora tried to snap back, but Mary cut her off.

“This ends here, Nora!! We never wanna see you again! Oh, and since your phone is all broken from that fall, you can’t tell anybody about my mom’s awful blog, so you can’t tell us what to do anymore!!”

Without so much as a goodbye, Mary turned on her heel and tried to make her way to the exit, with Vic on her shoulder and Blanca by her side.

Just as Mary reached for the handle to turn it…Blanca turned around and saw something that made her gasp sharply.

Before Vic and Mary could react, Blanca coiled her arm around the younger girl and pulled her aside. As soon as that happened, a gunshot rang out, the metal scraping against the red door. Nora had her pistol out, aiming it right at the door, but when Blanca pulled them away, she pointed it back at them.

“I may have said I’d let you go when we got to the exit…but I said nothing about letting you leave alive,” Nora’s voice was darker than it had ever been.

So she was never going to follow through on her promise after all. Why was Mary even surprised at this point? Her white hot rage came right back. Before she could stop herself, Mary writhed out from Blanca’s grip and charged right at the teenager like a bull in a rodeo. The force of the collision was nowhere near enough to make Nora fall, so her attempt at subduing her failed. But it did give Blanca an opening to grab Nora’s gun and take it while she was briefly disoriented.

Pandemonium broke out, and a brawl ensued.

Nora growled as she yanked on Mary’s hair, pulling on it so hard that the younger girl screamed from the sharp, burning pain. Mary attempted to pull her hand off, but Nora’s grip was iron hard. Blanca tried to step in and separate the two of them, but Nora gave the marshmallow a swift kick to the stomach. It didn’t do much to keep her away, and the marshmallow coiled her arm around both of Nora’s arms. But the unruly teenage girl writhed in the marshmallow’s grasp, howling and screaming like a wild animal, just like how she was when the police arrested her for hurting Julius and her father. Vic leaped onto Nora’s hand and bit down. Hard. It was enough to make Nora release her grip on Mary’s hair. Finally, Mary slipped out from underneath the teenage girl, making a beeline for the exit, with Vic following from behind.

“OH NO YOU DON’T!!” Nora bellowed, her voice guttural and bordering on monstrous. She freed one of her arms and punched Blanca square in the face. The force was strong enough to make her arm uncoil. Nora made a mad dash for Mary, lunging at her as soon as the exit doors opened. Mary tried to crawl forward, but Nora forcibly pulled her back by yanking on her dress. It didn’t help that Mary had nothing to grab on to, since the platform outside was solid titanium, and Nora had pulled her so fast that she couldn’t grab onto the edges of the exit. Once Nora pulled Mary close enough, she hoisted her up with one arm and sucker punched her square in the face with the other.

Everything in her head rattled. It was like someone had smashed a glass bottle inside her, and her smarting skin roared.

“That’s what you get for being a piece of shit!!” Nora roared.

“GET OFF ME!!” Mary shouted back.

Before Nora could punch her again, Vic leaped right onto Nora’s face, making her fall backward. It did nothing to release her grip on Mary, and the younger girl couldn’t pry the teenager’s hand off no matter how hard she tried. In her rage, Nora yanked Vic off her face and threw him to the side. Thankfully, Vic landed right on his feet, no worse for wear.

“Enough!” Blanca smacked Nora’s hand and managed to free Mary. The younger girl wasted no time running to the marshmallow’s side. But the sight of it was enough to make Nora roar with laughter.

“Man, no wonder you’re so fucking useless. Always running and hiding from anybody who actually wants you to face the consequences of your actions,” Nora sneered, wobbling a bit as she stood back up and walked to retrieve her gun. “I kinda feel sorry for your family, having to deal with somebody like you on a regular basis. I’ve lived with Julius all my life, so I have first hand knowledge of just how annoying dealing with you autistic people is. I gave you a job to do and you couldn’t even do that right.”

Mary steeled herself. She knew Nora was just trying to get under her skin. Not this time. “I’m the one who feels sorry for your family! You don’t appreciate all they’ve done for you!” Mary shot back, remembering all that she saw in Nora’s memories. “Your parents love you and care about you and Julius!”

Nora cocked her pistol. “Oh yeah. Your mom did make a blog telling the whole world how much she hates your guts. After all this, I can see why,” Her tone was 100% bitter, completely laced with venom.

“And you wonder why we no longer wish to associate with you after all this,” Blanca hissed.

Vic scrambled back to Blanca and Mary, but before the trio could leave, they were interrupted once more. An ear-piercing shriek cut through the air. Two flying behemoths were descending sharply, closing in on them. Knowing what was going to happen, Blanca threw the doors open and pushed Vic and Mary out the exit before forcing Nora through soon after. In that instant, she turned into a gigantic dragon, standing her ground as the two monsters lunged at her.

“Blanca!!” Mary tried to rush back into the car, but a wall of white blocked the exit. Probably Blanca trying to make sure the monsters didn’t get to them. All of a sudden, a familiar, unwelcome hand yanked on one of Mary’s braids, forcefully pulling her away from the blocked entrance to the car.

“I’m not done with you yet!” Nora growled.

“Well I am!!”

With all the force she could muster, Mary slammed her palm right onto Nora’s face, a firm smack that made the teenager yelp. It wasn’t enough to release her braid, but Mary knew that. She then began smacking Nora with both hands, over and over. The flurry of blows finally forced Nora to release her…for about five seconds. Mary tried to sprint towards the gangway, but only made it to the very edge of it as Nora lunged at her, pinning her to the ground, similar to how her mother and the ABA doctors did. Nora coiled one of her arms around Mary’s neck, using her other arm to keep it in place, trapping her in a headlock.

“Hey! Leave her alone!!” Like usual, Vic came to the rescue, leaping onto Nora’s face once again. This time, he scratched her cheeks with his tiny claws. Nora squeezed her eyes shut and endured the scratching, but it did distract her enough to give Mary an opening. The younger girl used one of her legs to kick Nora’s stomach as hard as she could. The force was enough to make Nora double over, finally releasing her.

In that moment, Blanca shrunk back to her normal size and sprinted out of the giant monster car, slamming the doors behind her as she did so. But just as she reached the gangway, her body trembled before shrinking to the size of a small book. Mary raced to catch her before she could fall off the bridge. With a great leap, Mary threw both hands out. Thankfully, the tiny Blanca fell right into her hands, safe and sound. But something yellow flashed in her peripheral vision. Mary swiveled to her left, seeing that Vic’s yellow backpack, which Blanca had always carried, was about to fall off the side of the train. With Blanca still in her hand, Mary ran over to try and grab it…but it was too late. The big yellow backpack slipped just as Mary tried to reach for it, falling into the Wasteland. Since the train was moving fast, the backpack was already out of their sight within a few seconds. There was no feasible way to retrieve it now.

Oddly enough, despite having seen it, Vic didn’t seem too bothered by it. “Let’s get outta here! Fast!” Vic yelled.

Knowing what was at stake, Mary nodded as she raced across the bridge and jumped over Nora as she did so. But right as she tried to run after making the jump, something collided against her ankle. With an anguished yelp, Mary couldn’t stop herself from falling face first onto the gangway. Blanca fell out of her arms and rolled a few feet away from Mary, though she didn’t fall off the bridge. In that instant, Nora sprung up and ran towards Blanca, scooping her up before Mary could grab her.

“No!!” Mary and Vic both yelled in unison.

Nora held Blanca as though she were a cellphone, eyeing her with a malicious sneer. “Not gonna lie, you’re gonna be pretty useful to me.”

Useful? Mary’s blood boiled red hot once more. Nora was going to kidnap Blanca and use her for whatever God awful plans she had? No. She couldn’t let that happen. Not to one of her best friends.

“Give her back!!” Mary roared as she forced herself up and ran towards the teenager, her rage morphing into adrenaline that shot through her veins, giving her renewed zeal. No way was she going to let this ungrateful, unrepentant, downright awful person do whatever she wanted with Blanca. “She’s not yours!” She yelled as she attempted to reach for her umbrella spear. At this point, Nora was beyond mercy. If Mary had to stab her a few times to save Blanca, then so be it.

But the girl was given no time to even grab her spear. The next few seconds seemed to happen in slow motion.

Nora aimed her gun right at Mary. Two shots rang out.

A bullet grazed one of her shoulders. It felt like something had punched her arm. Something hard, metallic, and hot. Her ears rang. She heard no sound. But she did see another flash from the barrel of Nora’s gun.

Something zipped past Mary’s ear. Black, braided hair flew past her.

A single, detached braid flew out onto the Wasteland, disappearing behind the train and into parts unknown.

Mary lost her balance, falling to her knees. Hot, searing pain shot through her arm, and she felt some kind of warm liquid trickling down. Was this what being branded with a burning fire poker was like? She had no clue. All she knew was that it was enough to make her scream. Not long after, a rock hard punch sent her flat on her back, exacerbating her already stinging cheek. Mary tried to force herself up, but a hard weight pressed down on her burning arm, keeping her pinned to the bridge. She was sure she hadn’t screamed this loud and this hard in her life. Probably not since ABA. The pain was too much. No, too much was an understatement. Was there even a word for pain so unbearable that it left no room for anything else in her brain?

“STOP!! Nora, please!!” Blanca yelled. “I’ll go with you without protest, but don’t kill Mary and Vic!!”

A pause. Mary finally opened her eyes, even as the pain threatened to swallow her whole. She saw what was pinning her down to the bridge. One of Nora’s hard combat boots was pressing down on her shoulder. It was like a cinder block with how hard it was. Nora towered over her with a scowl. From Mary’s perspective, she may as well have been as big as all the monsters.

“Fiiiine. I won’t kill her. But one last thing,” Nora sneered before leaning right into Mary’s space, so close to the younger girl’s face that they could smell each other’s breath. Mary turned her head away, but Nora set her gun down and grabbed Mary’s chin, her fingernails digging into the girl’s skin, and forcing her to look right into her eyes. Her angry, malicious, hateful eyes.

“Your family must have low standards if they’re willing to settle for a worthless piece of shit like you.”

The venomous words were like a rain of icicles had come crashing down on Mary with no mercy. With that hateful rhetoric, Nora was done. She removed her foot from Mary’s shoulder, turned on her heel, and walked towards the exit with Blanca still in her hand. Mary wished her ears didn’t stop ringing. If they continued to do so, she wouldn’t have heard the hateful words Nora whispered to her. The single sentence echoed in her brain, along with the pain that shot fire through every nerve in her body. But Mary reminded herself that she couldn’t just lay here. Blanca was in danger. She had to save Blanca. She just had to! Mary forced herself up, but every movement was like a knife going through her chest.

“No…don’t…Blanca…need to…save her…!” Mary tried to crawl across the bridge, but Nora was already far ahead of her. Every time she tried to move, her arm and shoulder jolted with pain, enough to make her wince. But she clenched her teeth and tried to fight through the pain. This was not the time to be  a baby and let the pain take over. Her friend needed her!

Unfortunately, fate was not on her side. Nora made it to the next car, the doors closing with their familiar, metallic clang. Mary’s legs buckled, and she slumped back onto the bridge. It was like all the energy she had was drained out of her, like a butterfly sucking the pollen out of a flower with its proboscis. She sucked in a breath, the air burning her tired lungs, and her eyes welled up with tears that came spilling right out. She tried so hard…but it wasn’t enough.

She had one job to do. One job…and she completely, utterly failed.

Blanca was gone. Nora kidnapped her. Mary’s heart sank deeper than it had ever sunk before, if such a thing was possible.

She heard Dana’s voice echoing in the deep recesses of her mind, spewing just as much venom as Nora had.

No, it wasn’t just Dana’s voice. It was the ABA doctors, Dana, Nora, her friends, Mr. Bryant, and the rest of her family’s voices all combined into one entity.

This is all your fault.

As the full weight of what had happened finally settled, all Mary could do was cry. Harder than she ever did in her entire life. Her desolate, anguished screams and wails reverberated alongside the train’s wheels scraping against the railroad tracks.

Chapter Text

Blanca imagined all sorts of things would happen when she first left on her journey with Mary. Getting kidnapped by a violent teenager and stuffed in a plastic bag was not one of them.

After blazing through a few train cars, Nora finally stopped in a car that was full of nothing but pumpkins. It was a sea of orange as far as the eye could see. Nora found an empty clearing and took it upon herself to kick back against a big pumpkin, pull out a stapler, and staple the plastic bag shut, barring Blanca from any possible escape. Once that was done, she pulled out a six-pack and went on a drinking binge. She drank at least three beer bottles, and her face was already red as a beet by the time she popped open the fourth.

With her being inebriated, Blanca attempted to push the top of the plastic bag open. It didn’t work, what with the staples locking both sides of the plastic together. Pulling on the edges of the staples wasn’t possible, as they were folded on the outside. Her small, sprouted arms were too weak to pull on the staples themselves, probably a result of having used so much energy transforming into those large monsters before. It didn’t help that these staples were surprisingly sturdy. There was no way she could transform in such a small, confined space like this, so she’d be stuck in her shrunken form for longer than the time needed to expand to her normal form. She had never transformed into large creatures back to back in such a short time span, but as bad as her current situation was, it was better than letting Nora kill Mary and Vic.

“Aww hell yeah!” Nora finished her fourth drink with over-the-top flourish, like announcing her euphoria was a requirement to enjoying it. “Dis is the liiiiiife!! No more parents to boss me around, no whiny little brudder to annoy me, no more chores, respons’bilteez, teachers, school, homework, rules, or nuffin! And all the beer I can drink and drugs I can snort, and if I run out, I can just go back and threaten that talkin’ castle to make me more! I’m so glad I got on dis train!!”

Blanca sucked in a breath. Nora actually threatened a denizen to give her all the beer and drugs she could stuff in her backpack? The marshmallow could only hope beyond hope that Nora didn’t do anything worse to this talking castle. There was so much about Nora’s whole crusade that made no sense. Even looking through her memories didn’t fill in that particular gap. Blanca couldn’t just sit here and wait for the inevitable. The fact that Nora didn’t try to kill her first thing proved that she had some degree of restraint. It was fair to assume that Nora had no intention of acting out more of her violent ideations until she took several swigs, or at the very least got away from Mary and Vic. Perhaps an interrogation was in order.

“Nora. I simply must ask…Why are you doing all of this?” Blanca inquired, doing all she could to hide her lingering fear behind a calm, collected facade. “Hurting your family, throwing your life away, causing all this destruction. What do you hope to gain from it?”

Nora burped before wiping her mouth with her sleeve. “Ugh, shaddap. I dun wanna talk to you.”

“You’re the one who dragged me here against my will, so can you honestly blame me for asking?”

The teenager made a grating snort. “You sound like my mom.”

“Have you even noticed that your number has reached your wrist?”

Since their trek through the car with the giant monsters, Nora’s number had skyrocketed further, to the point where it went beyond the quadruple digits. The teenager threw her empty beer bottle across the clearing, smirking as she watched it explode into glass shards.

“None of what you’re doing is going to get you off the train. If you keep this up, you’ll never see your family again.”

“GOOD! Fuck them!!” Nora bellowed, slamming her wrist on the ground for added emphasis. “I’m not gonna be their slave for the rest of my life!! Now I dun hafta be hounded by brain dead idiots all the time!”

“Even if it means you may never see Xander again?”

As much as Blanca didn’t want to play that particular card, she knew how much Xander meant to Nora. Everything she did was for him and only him. Nora’s expression softened when she heard his name, so Blanca’s question clearly got through to her. Hopefully. Not seconds later, Nora’s scowl returned as she began rummaging through her bag.

“I know he’d be happy that I managed to fend off the evil influence of society’s corruption!” Nora snapped back.

Corruption. Nora threw that word around constantly, but Blanca had a feeling Nora didn’t quite understand the irony behind her whole reason for doing all this. “You say that society is corrupt, but from what I’ve seen, it’s more like Xander corrupted you.”

It was like a switch went off inside Nora. As soon as those words slipped past Blanca’s lips, Nora’s face contorted in wild, visceral anger. Her eyes flared, her face turned red, her teeth were bared, and she violently pulled the plastic bag off the ground so she would be looking at Blanca at eye level.

“You don’t know shit about Xander!! He ain’t corruptin’ me at all!! If anything, he’s the one who opened my eyes so don'cha go talkin’ shit!!”

Even with anger exploding from every pore of Nora’s being, complete with an index finger being shoved in her face, Blanca remained calm, her demeanor and expression unchanging. “Have you even asked him why he believes the things he does? Why he does all that he does? Did you ever so much as question any of it and what it’s all even for?”

“I dun need to!! He’s fightin’ back against a world that turned his back on him, chewed ‘im up and spit him out!!”

“Do you really think that gives him a right to treat people the way he does? Even people whom he’s never met or gotten to really know?”

Nora let out a loud groan, rolling her eyes, having heard all this a million times before. “God, you’re such a fucking nimrod!!”

The classic deflecting the question with vulgar name calling and cursing. Blanca was no stranger to having bile thrown at her, some of it she felt she deserved.

“Xander’s the reason I’m free from that hellhole of a house! I don’t have to be stuck babysittin’ that brat Julius for the rest of my life!” Nora bellowed, shaking the plastic bag violently with every animated gesture she made. “They’re just slaves to the corrupt gov’ment that wanna mold me into a clone of them, or just a glorified 24/7 babysitter! Xander helped me learn ‘ta think for mahself!”

The irony was not lost on Blanca, and it was high time she told Nora the truth.

“You have it backwards. You’re not thinking for yourself. Xander’s telling you what to think, what to believe, what to say, what to do, etc. If anything, Xander’s the one corrupting and brainwashing you. Didn’t you ever think about that?”

Nora opened her mouth as if to say something, but no words came out. Narrowed, piercing eyes glared right at Blanca. After a tense silence, Nora growled before throwing the bag back onto the ground. Blanca curled herself into a ball to minimize the impact, which worked.

“Fuck you! It’s ‘cuz of him that I don’t have to suck up to Julius anymore and be bored all the damn time!!”

“So you’d rather throw your family away for some guy who’s using you for his own ends.”

“They’re the ones using me! Tryin’ ta lock me up and make me his babysitter!! I told ya before, I hate Julius and errybody like ‘im!”

“You defended him from bullies when you were younger. You taught him everything you knew and even helped to raise him from infancy. Surely you still love him in your heart.”

“Don’t try to manipulate me with yer greeting card bullshit!” Nora snapped. “I was just a naive fool who didn’t know the true reality of what was going on! Ugh, I’m sick of talkin’ to ya! If you’ll excuuuuuse me, I have some overdue fun to indulge in!” With that rhetoric, Nora put a swift end to the conversation, proceeding to pull out three bags of white powder.

It was obvious that Nora didn’t want to acknowledge the truth that was right in front of her. For all her talk about thinking for herself, everything she did was because of Xander and all for him. The fact that she never so much as questioned why he did what he did or his beliefs spoke volumes about her willingness to worship him, even when he wasn’t even here. 

“I swear, I bet those pegasi would have been way more tolerable than you are,” Nora mused. “Woulda had them be my steeds if they didn’t freak out at the sight of my gun!”

Once again, Blanca gasped, though not so loudly that Nora heard her. She tried to convince some pegasi from the Pegasus Car to accompany her? So that’s why she went off on her own during that time. The marshmallow thanked her lucky stars that the pegasi figured out she was bad news and refused to associate with her. If she had tried to do something to Shiro…the marshmallow didn’t even want to imagine it, silently thanking God that he was safe and not involved in this. Blanca could only watch forlornly as Nora used a straw to snort the white powder up her nose. It was pointless to reason with her. Not even appealing to her humanity helped.

And yet…she didn’t feel as scared as she thought she would be. For as terrible as her situation was, she knew her friends would come for her. She just needed to wait.

Ever since she woke up, Reagan’s mind had been little more than a thick fog.

Every day since Mary first went missing, Reagan’s routine had become frustratingly normal: Wake up, go to school, go to band practice, come home, do homework, avoid hearing her mother and father arguing, and go to bed. Rinse and repeat. Other than sometimes going to Oliver’s house for a few hours or going out to put up more missing person posters, it wasn’t much different from how things had been before, except for one thing. Sleep had become an unattainable luxury, as her mind had become plagued with nightmares, all of which involved Mary. Every night, Reagan woke up with her pillow stained with tears as her mind conjured all sorts of horrible images, all of which involved Mary either never coming home, Mary dying at the hands of some unknown predator, or coming home but being subjected to all that Dana had planned for her. She couldn’t bring herself to tell her father about her nightmares. He had enough on his plate dealing with Dana. She saw the bags that had accumulated under his eyes throughout the month. Why add to his exhaustion?

Unable to do anything except carry this burden, Reagan trudged to school, throwing herself into her studies, no matter how much seeing words and numbers on paper made her sleep-deprived brain hurt. As she prepared herself for math class, the students around her were abuzz, sharing stories and gossip. Every word out of their mouths pounded against Reagan’s head with all the intensity of someone beating on drums.

“No way! Xander Eisenach got arrested?!”

“Yep! I saw the whole thing! A bunch of police officers threw him into a cop car and everything!”

“What’d he do?”

“I heard he got caught buying beer at a convenience store, and the clerk knew he was underage. When he tried to stop him, Xander tried to beat up a security guard that was there. I only saw the aftermath, though, so I can’t be sure. Xander was throwing a full-on tantrum and screaming his head off like he was that girl from The Exorcist .”

“Good riddance. I never did like that guy. He always gave off such a bad vibe.”

“I bet he had something to do with Nora McDonald disappearing a while back. The two have practically joined at the hip since freshman year.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised. Nora went full-on bitch mode since they got together. It’s weird, because I went to middle school with her, and she used to be a lot nicer.”

“One time I heard Nora say that she wishes she could just go someplace where she could do whatever she wants and not have to deal with chores and responsibilities and all that crap. I hate doing chores as much as the next guy, but the way she talked about it…eugh, I dunno. It just made me feel all oogy, and knowing that Xander might be behind it makes it a lot scarier.”

Reagan barely processed the words inundating her foggy brain from all directions. But as she pulled her textbook and notebook out and opened them, the words seemed to blur, becoming little fuzzy black balls with no coherent meaning. Come to think of it…was the classroom dimmer than usual? Reagan forcibly rubbed her eyes with her fists, mentally scolding herself for almost spacing out. She needed to get it together. Mary being missing and not sleeping well was no excuse for not putting her all into her schoolwork. It may as well be the only thing keeping her remotely sane.

“Hey there. Are you okay?”

An unfamiliar voice piped up next to her. Reagan swiveled to her right, seeing a red haired girl sitting next to her. Her vision was still blurring, so she couldn’t make out her features other than the fact that she wore all black.

“Uhh, sorry, who are you again?” Reagan sputtered.

“Lianna. Sorry if this sounds rude, but you look like you’re gonna puke any second,” Her seatmate Lianna warned her with a warm voice laced with worry. “You’ve got dark circles under your eyes, and I can see you’re trembling. Do you want to go to the nurse’s office? It’s a bit of a hike, but I can take you there.”

Reagan blinked before shaking her head. “I-I’m fine. My grades have been slipping and I can’t afford to get more F’s on my tests again.”

The girls didn’t have a chance to resume their conversation, as the teacher had come in, so class had begun. But the teacher’s words seemed…garbled. What was going on? Usually she spoke pretty clearly, no matter how hard it was for Reagan to understand algebra. Wait…was the floor starting to tip? The world seemed to be turning on its axis. Darkness took over, and she felt something soft underneath her.

“—gan?! Reagan, can you hear me?!”

“I got her!”

The darkness receded, but in the split-second between the darkness and now, she had fallen into Lianna’s arms, barely out of her desk. She could see the teacher kneeled in front of her with a look of concern, along with other classmates watching from behind her. Her clarity and focus had returned, along with her vision returning to normal, albeit still spotty. It was when she registered that she had fallen out of her desk that she realized what happened.

She had fainted, and might have hit the floor had Lianna not caught her.

“Stay back everyone,” The teacher pushed her arm out, gesturing for the gathering students to back off, which they did. “Can you hear me, Reagan?”

“Yeah…” Reagan choked out, feeling her face heat up, both from a combination of exhaustion and embarrassment.

“Can someone take her to the nurse?”

“I will!” Lianna piped up without hesitation.

Reagan had no energy to protest as Lianna threw her books into her backpack. Once that was done, Lianna wrapped an arm around Reagan’s waist, pulling her arm over her shoulder, as the two of them left the classroom. Their classroom was on the second floor, at the end of the hallway, and the nurse’s office was on the first floor all the way on the other side. Reagan could hear Lianna grumbling about whoever thought putting the nurse’s office so far away was a good idea. It took them ten minutes to get to the nurse’s office on foot. Luckily, the door was unlocked. When Reagan and Lianna went inside, the nurse was nowhere in sight. There was a note on the desk saying that the nurse was out running an errand, as they had run out of gauze bandages.

“Damn. Of all the times she had to not be here,” Lianna grumbled before seeing an empty bed and gently setting Reagan down. “Here, be careful. Slowly…”

Reagan positioned herself on the bed, already feeling more alert than she did before. Only now did she process her seatmate in front of her—Lianna Kesserling and her scraggly wave of red hair and all-black attire. Lianna’s sky blue eyes were laced with concern.

“Can I touch your forehead real quick?”

Reagan nodded, closing her eyes as she felt a warm, gentle hand press its palm against her forehead.

“Oh lord! You’re burning up!” Lianna yelped, taken aback by the heat from Reagan’s forehead. “Yeah, you definitely need to call your parents to pick you up. You’re in no position to stay in school today, so you’d best go home.”

Go home? Go back to hearing her parents argue all the time and have nothing to keep her mind off of Mary being gone? Reagan felt a chill run down her spine.

“No, I…my grades…I can’t go home…” Reagan sputtered, unable to put words together to make a coherent sentence.

“I should probably get back to—”

Lianna was about to turn and leave, but…on impulse, Reagan reached out and grabbed her wrist. The red haired teenager turned around, surprised to see that Reagan’s wide, bloodshot eyes were overflowing with tears. She looked utterly desperate, like clinging to Lianna was the only thing keeping her alive.

“...Please stay,” Reagan’s voice was small and fragile. She almost didn’t recognize her own voice. When did it become so vulnerable?

Her quiet, impassioned plea was enough to convince Lianna to stay. The red-haired girl sat down next to Reagan, taking care not to sit too close so as not to invade her personal space. But there was a brief silence between them. Neither knew what to say. Or would saying anything even be appropriate?

“...Your sister’s disappearance has really gotten to you, huh? I can’t say I blame you,” Lianna mused.

Reagan sniffed. “Understatement of the millennium. But it’s not just that…”

“What do you mean? I mean, if you want to talk about it, I’m all ears, but you don’t have to if you’re not comfortable.”

Reagan shook her head and continued on. Now that she had spoken, she suddenly couldn’t bring herself to stop. It was like a pressure cooker had popped open, and everything inside was spewing out with nothing holding it back.

“This past month and a half has been hell,” Reagan’s voice was strained as she spoke, cracking on occasion, but she didn’t care anymore. “Not just from Mary disappearing. My dad and I recently found out some really awful things about my mother. Apparently she’s hated Mary ever since she was first diagnosed as autistic years ago, putting her through a bunch of quack therapies to try and cure her, even though there’s no such thing as a cure for Autism. Not only that, she made an internet blog that’s literally nothing but bitching about Mary and making up a bunch of lies about her just to make herself look like a victim! And get this! Mom actually talked about wanting to sterilize her when she turns 18!”

There was no mistaking the shock written on Lianna’s features. Her eyes went wide as saucers, and her jaw fell agape. “Seriously? That is so fucked up!”

“I know, right?! Dad and I tried to tell her that, but Mom’s the kind of person who is sooooo convinced everybody else is the problem and not her!” Reagan bawled, her face turning redder and redder as she went on. “She just goes and does all these things and makes all these bad decisions on her behalf without ever once considering how Mary would even feel about any of it! Every single day, she and Dad argue non-stop, and Mom is convinced that Mary is some kind of cancer ruining our lives, and I don’t know how much longer I can deal with it! As cruel as this sounds, I almost wish they’d get a divorce so Mom will move out and we won’t have to deal with her being a bitch to Mary anymore!”

With every word Reagan spilled out, more followed, all the worries, insecurities, and fears that had shackled her flooded out like water from a broken dam. She couldn’t stop. No, she didn’t want to stop. All of this had to go somewhere. She couldn’t keep it all inside anymore.

“I want Mary back so bad…but the more I think about it, the more I realize nothing will change even if she does come back,” Reagan heaved and sniffed, her fingers interlacing with Lianna’s black hoodie as though it were a lifeline. “Mom’s still gonna treat her like shit just because she exists, and…I can’t even protect her from any of it! I’m a terrible sister!”

“No! No you’re not,” Lianna wrapped an arm around Reagan, pulling her close, like a mother comforting her crying child. “I’ve seen you post missing person posters all over the place. You’re a great sister. If you were a bad sister, you wouldn’t be giving a damn about her being gone. I know if I were missing or kidnapped, I’d want my family to worry for my safety and do whatever it takes to get me back,” Lianna wasted no time reassuring Reagan, even though her kind words did nothing to alleviate the younger girl’s immeasurable sorrow.

“It doesn’t change the fact that I couldn’t help her when it mattered! Mary’s gone and I can’t do a damn thing about it…!” Reagan’s words fade with a hitch of her breath. No words formed on Lianna’s tongue. Instead, she flashed a reassuring smile and opened her free arm, praying for Reagan to feel her movement and accept her invitation. Reagan didn’t even hesitate. The desolate girl was responsive immediately. Her arms wrap around Lianna as she buried her face in the red-haired girl’s chest. The fabric of Lianna’s hoodie was quickly stained with tears, but she didn’t care. Reagan let loose and cried stronger and louder than ever before.

“Lianna, I can’t go on like this! I can’t go on knowing that my little sister is out there somewhere, probably scared and traumatized!!” Reagan screamed, the fabric of Lianna’s hoodie muffling her desolate cries. “Every night, I dream that the police will show up at our door and tell us Mary’s dead!! Probably hacked up by some kidnapper or pedophile or serial killer or God knows what the hell else!! I should have done more to protect her!! I should have put a stop to Mom’s bullshit sooner!! I can’t even…tell Mary I’m sorry for being such a bad sister and never having known all this was happening…!! She deserves…so much better…I want her back so bad…it’s literally killing me…but I know she won’t be happy if she ever does come back…”

All throughout Reagan’s rant, Lianna simply listened in silence, allowing her to release all of her pent-up sorrow and despair. Lianna even took the time to rub Reagan’s back with her hand, hoping that would help. Reagan appreciated the comfort.

“You’ve really been going through a lot, haven’t you? I’m so sorry,” Lianna whispered.

Reagan could only manage a slow nod and a loud sniff.

“I can’t say that I really understand what you’re going through, since I’ve never been through that myself, and I hope that I never do,” Lianna murmured. “But based on what I’ve seen, you are a good sister. A great sister, even. Mary is so lucky to have someone like you in her life, who cares about her and has her back no matter what. Whether you knew about what your mother’s been doing to her or not, it doesn’t change how much you love Mary. I will say that it’s not good for you to exhaust yourself like this and push yourself to the point of getting sick. I really suggest that you at least talk to your Dad, or even the school counselor.”

The school counselor…Reagan had no idea the school even had a counselor. Maybe that would be worth looking into. Slowly, Reagan pulled herself out from Lianna’s chest and wiped her nose with her sleeve.

“My dad has enough on his plate. I don’t want to add more to it,” Reagan sobbed. “And I can’t even look at my mom anymore in light of what I found out.”

Lianna put a gentle hand on Reagan’s shoulder. “I don’t think your dad will mind if you open up to him. You’re both going through something horrible, but that doesn’t mean you can’t rely on each other for comfort. That’s what parents are supposed to do, comfort their kids if they’re sad. I obviously can’t speak for your mom on that front based on what you’ve told me about her, and…” Lianna briefly paused before continuing. “Sorry if this is embarrassing to bring up, but a month and a half ago, I saw you guys at the Barnes and Noble.”

She must be referring to the day before Mary disappeared. Reagan’s face heated up once more. “So you saw what Mom tried to do to Mary.”

“Yeah. I actually did see your mom go off on your sister, so I knew Mary wasn’t at fault,” Lianna confessed. “I did want to step in and help, but I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate or if I’d just make things worse. I did see you pull your mom off Mary, so that told me all I needed to know about how much you care about her, even before she disappeared.”

Reagan shrugged. “Sorry you had to see that.”

“Don’t be. Your mom shouldn’t be treating her like crap just because she’s autistic. As someone who’s autistic myself, I know I wouldn’t want my parents throwing me to the ground and making my sensory issues worse, and I especially wouldn’t want them plotting to sterilize me behind my back and ignoring my feelings on the matter.”

Reagan nodded. She couldn’t agree more.

“I really do think you ought to talk to the school counselor about all this. You don’t have to carry this burden alone or keep it all inside, or you’ll explode,” Lianna reminded her gently. “You need to take care of yourself, and if you can’t, trust others to take care of you. Don’t wear yourself out because you want to make things easier on others. There are times when you’ll need to put yourself first. I’m sure Mary wouldn’t be happy if her big sister got sick.”

In all honesty, Reagan was sure she already exploded. It was a wonder she was still in one piece. But as the reality of what she just did settled in, Reagan turned away and rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly.

“Sorry I unloaded all this on you. You’re not my therapist,” Reagan murmured.

Lianna shook her head. “Again, don’t be. I’m happy to at least listen. I’ve actually been worried about you for a while, to be honest. I just wasn’t sure how to reach out, since we’ve barely talked,” Lianna admitted.

“Well, you brought me here, so…” Reagan’s trail of thought shifted when she saw a cute plushie keychain dangling from Lianna’s jeans. It was the round head of a sheep. “Is that a wooly? Like from Rune Factory ?”

Realizing what she was talking about, Lianna looked down at the keychain. “Yep! I had a friend make this for me. You’re a Rune Factory fan, too?”

“I only just played 4 recently, but I really like it.”

“Ooh! You’re the first person I’ve met who knows about the series IRL!” Lianna exclaimed, her sky blue eyes and smile brimming with enthusiasm. “We should totally get together and gush about it some more! Oh!” She pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil from her bag, scribbled something on it, and handed it to Reagan when she was done. “There’s my cell number. If you ever want to talk or vent and stuff, feel free to call me whenever you feel like it.”

For the first time since Mary went missing, Reagan’s body and spirit felt somewhat light. When had she ever talked to anyone about this? She had mentioned most of it to Oliver, but not about the revelations about her mother. He had his own stuff going on and she didn’t want to bother him. Same with her other friends. She didn’t want to bother her friends with all that was going on right now. But Lianna, someone she barely knew or even talked to, had taken the time to help Reagan to the nurse’s office and listen to her woes when she had no obligation to do so. Where had this girl been all her life? Maybe relying on others wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

“Sure. Thanks for hearing me out, and…sorry about messing up your hoodie.”

Lianna brushed off Reagan’s apology with a smile. “Eh, nothing a run in the washer can’t fix. But you should probably have your dad pick you up.”

“Will do. But before that, can I borrow your pen and paper?” Reagan said. Lianna obliged, handing her the notebook. She opened to a blank page, and Reagan wrote down her name and phone number. “There’s my contacts, too.”

“Thanks! I’ll head back to math class now. You take care, okay?”

Reagan nodded and waved as she watched Lianna leave the nurse’s office. When she looked down at the paper Lianna had given her, there was something else written just underneath the phone number.

I’d love it if we could be friends!

So many emotions swirled within the raging storm that was Reagan’s heart. But for right now, one that won the battle was joy. One of these days—when she wasn’t sick—she’d absolutely take Lianna up on her offer and be friends with her.

Today sucked.

What else was there to say? Things had gone absolutely awful since they came to the car that was full of monsters. Probably before that. Mary’s mind was little more than a desolate haze. She didn’t know how long she sat on the bridge crying her eyes out, nor did she care. When her cries died down, she crawled towards the wall, just outside the entrance to the next car, leaned against it and just…shut down. Her gaze was unfocused as she stared at nothing, giving her the look of a glass eyed doll. She barely registered Vic examining the open wound on her arm.

“Oh good! Turns out all the bullet did was graze you! No broken bones or bullet fragments or anything! This’ll be an easy fix!” Vic exclaimed cheerily upon getting a better look at the cut on Mary’s arm. But he stole an uneasy glance at Mary’s backpack. Since his own backpack had fallen off the train, he lost everything that was in it as well. This included a first aid kit, bandages and all. There was one alternative, but…

“Mary? Can I use one of your long sleeved shirts to wrap up your wound?” Vic asked, his cheer instantly fading the second he saw just how exhausted she looked. Abject despair wrote its signature upon her face. Her eyes and cheeks were still red from both Nora’s punches and all the crying she did, and Vic could make out visible tear tracks still lingering on her skin. Even the braid she had left was completely soaked. Nausea threatened to rise into Vic’s throat. The damage Nora had done was unforgivable.

To his surprise, Mary did give a response, even if said response was just a slow nod.

“You sure? I’ll have to chew off one of the sleeves and tie it around your arm.”

Mary nodded once again.

Permission secured, Vic unzipped Mary’s bag, dove into it, and pulled out one of Mary’s old shirts, taking the time to chew off the left sleeve right at the seam. Once he was done, he crawled up Mary’s arm, detached sleeve in hand, and began tying it. He was careful to tie it as slowly as possible, and didn’t want to make it too tight so as to not hurt Mary. But the girl displayed no reaction to his care. She wasn’t even reacting to the stimuli of the sleeve being wrapped around her arm. It was scary how pliant she seemed in his small hands.

“There, all good,” Vic said. “You’ll need to keep it like that for a while.”

As far as Mary was concerned, he shouldn’t have bothered trying to help her. He was wasting his time caring about someone who failed to save Blanca. In Mary’s mind, she didn’t deserve it. His kindness hurt. Every conceivable self-deprecating thought inundated her entire being. Vic should have scolded her for not saying thanks, not that being grateful would change what happened. Or even gotten mad at her for his bag being thrown off the train. Why wasn’t he angry? Why was Mary still here? She shouldn’t be sitting around like a drooling idiot. It didn’t matter that she was exhausted, hurt, or overcome with guilt. It didn’t matter that her eyes stung, her ears still hurt, her legs hurt, her arm hurt, and all the sights and noises hurt so much that she wanted to hide in a cave. None of that mattered. Blanca was more important.

Once Vic was done, Mary forced herself up. Vic crawled onto her shoulder so he wouldn’t fall off.

“Nora couldn’t have gone far,” Vic forced a smile as he tried to reassure Mary. “We don’t know what other train cars she might have gotten into. Hey, maybe one of them will be like the giant monster car and she won’t be able to find the exit so easily!”

Even hearing the forced cheer in his voice was like an explosion. Guilt weighed heavy on Mary’s shoulders.

“...Sorry about your bag,” That was all she was able to choke out.

Vic frowned, realizing what she was talking about. After a brief silence, he simply shook his head, offering a reassuring smile. “It’s fine. All that stuff was holding me back anyway. Besides, there’s no replacing you.”

Mary winced. Why? Why was he still trying to be nice? Why couldn’t he just be angry?! With a contemptuous grunt, Mary pulled her bag over her back, opened the door to the next car, and walked inside. Vic held onto her shoulder sleeve, completely and utterly flummoxed.

The car itself turned out to be a large forest, with tall pine trees that reached proudly into the heavens, their leaves and needles black against the turquoise sky. Other than soothing birdsong and a group of acorn children singing a merry tune, the car was fairly silent, a stark contrast to the chaos and pandemonium of the previous car. But Mary couldn’t bring herself to enjoy the scenery. Blanca was in danger, and she needed to press on. She put one foot in front of the other. Left, right, left, right. No stopping. Mary walked in silence, even ignoring greetings from some denizens who passed by. As rude as she knew this was, she couldn’t stop to greet them back. Rescuing Blanca needed her full, undivided attention.

She didn’t know how long or how far she walked, nor did she care. She didn’t have the energy to run, but that was no excuse. Every second wasted could lead to Blanca getting hurt or killed. Mary kept her gaze forward. Not even a sentient lantern or hearing two rocks argue amongst each other took her attention off the forest path. Rays of sunlight filtered through the trees, some of which struck Mary in the face, their glare intense to her sensitive eyes. Squinting didn’t help.

“Mary? We’ve been walking for quite a while. You should probably rest for a bit,” Vic advised.

“No!” Mary exclaimed, her grip around her backpack straps tightening. “If we stop now, that means less time to save Blanca! For all we know, Nora could be hurting her right now! We can’t afford to waste a single second!”

Resting here right now would probably lead to an irreversible mistake. Mary couldn’t afford to let that happen. Not when her mistakes led to Blanca getting kidnapped in the first place. She gritted her teeth and quickened her pace. Her feet and legs throbbed and burned, as if in protest, but she ignored the feeling. Being tired was no excuse for not being able to go after Nora and save Blanca. She repeated the mantra in her head like it was the only thing keeping her from going insane.

“Blanca’s a lot stronger than she looks. She’s not gonna let Nora get one on her,” Vic tried to sound reassuring, but he wasn’t sure if he was doing a good job of it. “Besides, for all we know Nora might be sitting around drinking booze and snorting that powder she loves so much. She has talked about wanting to do that for a while,” Vic added with a sheepish, forced laugh, but it did nothing to alleviate Mary’s concern.

Unfortunately, as Mary sped up, she failed to notice a stray tree root sprouting up from the ground. Her shoe got caught in it, and it took no time at all for her to trip and fall flat on her face. The impact was so strong that Vic lost his grip on her sleeve and fell off. He was able to safely roll a couple feet up to minimize the impact, so he didn’t sustain any injuries. But Mary’s entire being shuddered when she made contact with the ground. Dirt found its way into her mouth, and every attempt to spit it out did nothing to erase the gritty taste. She didn’t need to turn her head to know that her hands probably got scraped. She briefly glanced at her hands, now slightly covered in dirt and grime, with the 10 on her palm glowing through the grit. The vibrating feeling her hands sustained from the impact might as well have been an explosion.

“Mary! Are you okay?” Vic immediately ran over to her, concern writing its signature on his small face.

Something shifted inside of Mary. Why was he even bothering to ask if she was okay? Of course she wasn’t! After this, she was sure she’d never be okay again! Why couldn’t she just be okay, like everyone wanted her to be? Actually, she was never okay. Never okay at all. Why did everything have to go so, so, so completely and utterly wrong?  Memories returned like a tsunami—all the ones she saw with the memory robots, in stark, sharp clarity—cascading over her thin, shaking frame, lording over her as if they were all tyrannical kings. All accompanied by hateful voices, the same ones that had plagued her mind her entire life, shouting at her in all directions in the depths of her soul, spewing bile that Mary had heard a million times before, both inside and out.

“Why do you even bother? Blanca’s dead whether you try to save her or not.”

“She wouldn’t have gotten kidnapped if you could just suck it up and actually make an effort.”

“If Nora kills her, you’ll have Blanca’s blood on your hands, because you let it happen.”

“And you wonder why your own mother hates you. You can’t do anything right. You make things hard for everyone!”

“You can’t even protect your friends when they need help! Proof that you don’t care about anyone but yourself!”

“Everyone was right about you. You screw everything up. Why can’t you just die already?”

“Actually, you never should have been born in the first place. Everything was fine until you came along. Everyone was happy until you ruined it all.”

“Your family must have low standards if they’re willing to settle for a worthless piece of shit like you.”

The floodgates opened straight away. Mary had no energy to pick herself off the ground. Her vision blurred and her eyes stung. She tried to motivate herself to get up, but thoughts of saving Blanca did nothing. Despite herself, a faint sob escaped her throat. More followed before evolving into full-on wailing.

“M-Mary! What’s wrong?!” Vic scrambled to try and comfort her, but couldn’t bring himself to reach out, fearing touching her might make things worse. He kept his distance, but hearing his friend’s passionate sobbing and seeing her current state utterly flattened him.

“I can’t do this anymore!!” Mary wailed. “I was stupid to think being on this train would change anything!! Blanca’s probably dead right now and it’s all my fault!! All because I couldn’t just ignore all the noise and pain like a normal person and save her when it mattered!!”

“That’s not true and you know it!” Vic ran over and put both hands on Mary’s arm. “Nora was just too strong for us to handle, and Blanca used up too much of her energy transforming so much! It was just bad luck! Anything could have happened! She could have killed us right then and there! Besides, we don’t know for certain that Blanca’s even dead!”

Mary’s desolate crying continued, her hands curling into fists and slamming against the hard ground, just like when she learned the truth behind what Dana wanted to do to her when she grew up.

“Vic, stop trying to make me feel better!!” Mary shouted, her voice still hoarse. “Why can’t you just be mad at me?! You’re supposed to tell me I’m a terrible person and that I should just die in a ditch somewhere and that I really am no different from Mom!!”

The hamster’s body shuddered. No way was he going to let Mary entertain the notion that she deserved nothing but eternal scorn and vitriol. “I won’t, because none of that is true,” Vic steeled his voice and firmly told her how he truly felt.

“WELL IT SHOULD BE!!”

Right now, the last thing Mary wanted was to be comforted. It didn’t matter if it wasn’t her fault, that she was just a kid, that Nora was a much stronger teenager, or that she made every effort she could. None of it was ever enough, even when it mattered. No amount of apologies could ever fix what happened. Mary wished everything would just go away, that none of this had ever happened at all. But reality didn’t work that way. Her mind immediately grabbed hold of a dark thought that had lingered in her mind since her days in ABA.

“...Mom was right.”

“What?! No!” Immediately catching what she meant, Vic sprang forward, rushing over to close the distance between him and Mary in an attempt to help her. He couldn’t let her entertain those thoughts. He just couldn’t!

“Mom was right about everything! Nora is, too!!” Mary screamed. “Everyone would be so much happier if I wasn’t born! If I didn’t turn out autistic!” She sprang up and began slamming her fist against a tree. Anger exploded out from within her small, wracking frame like an erupting volcano. “Everything she wrote about me on her blog is true, too!!”

“No it isn’t!!”

“Yes it is!! Stop pretending it isn’t!!”

“None of what she wrote about you is true and you know it!! You saw it for yourself!!”

Mary paid her heartbroken, pleading rodent friend no heed as she stood up and began kicking the tree, with as much force as she could manage. Which wasn’t much, but she didn’t care.

“Stop caring about me!! I’m not worth caring about!!” Mary cried and wailed as she kicked the tree over and over. “All I ever do is make everybody sad and mad!! I can’t follow basic rules! I can’t do anything right even when I try to follow instructions!! I can’t figure out what people say or mean when everybody else can and miss obvious things when they’re right in front of me!! I can’t just ignore loud noises and put up with textures, blinding lights, and strong smells like everybody else can!! I make things hard for people and annoy them and embarrass them just by being around!! I always say the wrong thing and never know when to shut up and can’t just magically read people’s minds and figure out what they’re feeling or thinking!!”

In that moment, Mary had spread her arms akimbo, and that was when Vic saw it. Mary’s number wasn’t at a ten anymore. It had gone up to a 15…and it just kept rising.

“And now Blanca’s been kidnapped because I couldn’t just suck it up and save her!!”

21.

“Mom was right to put me in ABA!!”

32.

“If she wants to take me to a doctor that’ll make it so that I can’t have babies when I grow up, fine!! That’d probably be best for everybody! I’d probably kill them the second they’d start crying!!”

39.

“You’re not like that! I know you’d never do that!” Vic shouted back, horrified at the mere suggestion of Mary ever willingly harming anyone, or even the thought that she could somehow be capable, but his reassurance went unheeded.

“I really am just a spoiled, selfish brat who throws tantrums when I don’t get my way!!”

46.

“I really am a bad girl like Mom and the ABA doctors said I am! I don’t know why I convinced myself I wasn’t!! Everybody around me said so and I just didn’t wanna believe them!!”

53.

“Mom, Dad, Reagan, and everybody else would be…so much happier…if I had never been born…” Her angry shouting died down to pitiful hiccups and whimpers. “Nora…I wish Nora had managed to kill me when she shot me earlier.”

65.

“NO!!” Vic had heard enough. He couldn’t stand by and let Mary entertain notions of dying, nor the idea that everyone would be better off if she had died or never existed. He leaped into the air like a jack sprouting out of its box and landed right on Mary’s face, sending her falling to the ground on her rear. Her backpack toppled over, and Mimi slumped out of the unzipped opening. Her long ears laying against the ground pulled at Mary’s peripheral vision.

Bile rose in Mary’s throat, and another surge of anger shot through her, taking full control. She pulled Vic off her face, set him down on the ground, and reached over to grab Mimi by the ears.

“This stupid thing…!” Mary’s face contorted into a contemptuous scowl upon seeing Mimi, whom she once considered her best friend. Just looking at the stuffed rabbit made her blood boil. “Mom only got this for me just to keep me quiet!” With a loud screech, Mary threw Mimi at the tree she kicked, with Vic leaping out of the way, barely avoiding getting hit.

Mary hadn’t been able to even look at Mimi since she learned why her mother bothered getting it for her. The thing she once considered her best friend was little more than a pacifier, a distraction to keep Mary from throwing a tantrum in Dana’s mind. How could she have ever seen this stuffed animal as a comfort, knowing what its true purpose was? The bitter reality was too much to bear. Rage had swallowed her whole, and Mary didn’t care anymore. Being kind did nothing. Being nice did nothing but make things worse. If her mother was so convinced Mary would be a violent, out of control child that everyone should fear just because of how she was born, then so be it. The hate and bile that Dana and all she associated with poured into her, taking up all the space she had in her soul, leaving no room for anything else. She attempted to walk over and kick the stuffed animal she once cherished so dearly…but Vic threw himself in front of the plushie.

“Stop! Just stop for a minute!” Vic yelled, arms akimbo.

“Why? It’s just a stupid stuffed animal!” Mary snapped. “Why bother?!”

“But Mimi’s important to you, isn’t she?!”

“Not anymore! You know why Mom got her for me!”

Vic narrowed his gaze, looking straight at Mary. “Yeah, Dana bought her for you, but I ask you this: Who was it that even bothered to notice her in the first place?”

Notice her? What was he going on about? Mary raised a fist, but paused upon ruminating on his question. Come to think of it…they looked through her memories and saw how it played out. Mary was the one who saw Mimi on that shelf, all alone. She gritted her teeth.

“...Me. Doesn’t change why Mom bought her for me.”

“That’s just it, Mary,” Vic pointed right to Mary. “All Dana did was buy her for you. You’re the one who felt sorry for her and wanted to be her friend. You gave her a name, talked to her about your feelings and troubles, and even made up a whole personality for her. You gave her a purpose in life.”

Mary blinked. As much as she hated to admit it, Vic was absolutely right. Even if Dana did buy Mimi for her just to keep her quiet, it didn’t change the time they spent together and the memories they shared. Too many things fought for Mary’s attention in her brain. It was full to bursting and everything was too painful to bear.

“You helped her. Just like you helped me.”

Mary shook her head, her single braid smacking her chin with the swift movements. She didn’t even flinch from the pain. “You don’t have to pretend to like me or be nice to me. I don’t deserve it.”

“If I really was faking being nice to you, would I even be here right now?”

“Why are you even still here?! You don’t need to be stuck to me all the time!” Mary spat back. “I know all I do is make you mad and cause you trouble just by being here!”

“No! You! Don’t! I’m your friend, and friends never leave each other in the dust!”

“You’re wasting time on me that you should be using to save Blanca!”

“Mary…” With every bit of reassurance and encouragement he tried to offer, Mary seemed intent on contradicting it no matter what. Nora using Mary’s trauma and sensory issues against her, rubbing salt in the already bloody wound, and then laughing about it clearly wasn’t doing her psyche any favors. But to think she had the gall to stoop so low when she had already caused so much damage…If Nora was here right now, Vic would have wrung her neck without hesitation.

“You know everything Mom and Nora say about me is true!”

“No it isn’t! Dana and Nora just want to use you and Julius as scapegoats because they can’t be bothered to take responsibility for their own actions and decisions!”

A pause fell on the duo as they took a minute to catch their breath, their voices hoarse from all their yelling.

“I know you’re hurting, and I get why. You’ve been beaten down, shamed, and made to feel guilty for how you turned out your entire life. You’ve been written off as a complete failure over nothing and hurt so much that you think you deserve every bit of hate that’s thrown at you,” Vic croaked softly through the pain that stung his chest. “I know how it feels to—”

Mary’s rage didn’t simmer. Why was he still trying to be nice? Why didn’t he get it? Why couldn’t he just hate her and leave her to die? Why couldn’t he see how truly worthless she was, just like Nora said? Filled with a sudden urge to push the buttons she knew would hurt him the most, she cut him off mid-sentence with a scream, punching the tree next to her. The blow was so hard, she hoped it broke some bones. It didn’t, but she didn’t care anymore. If she had to make it personal so Vic could throw bile at her, then so be it. It wasn’t like anyone expected her to be anything except a bad little girl. She already hated herself enough. What was the harm in one more person adding to it?

“What would you know about my pain?!” Mary screamed and seethed through grit teeth and broken tears stinging her wet cheeks once more. “The only reason the hamsters hate you is because you didn’t wanna hate passengers after they nearly destroyed your whole car for fun! You weren’t born with a brain that’s messed up like mine!! Your mother doesn’t yell at you all the time, throw you to the ground like a criminal over God knows what, and tell the entire world that she hates you because you didn’t come out all nice and perfect!! You never got dragged to a bunch of weird doctors who made you do a bunch of baby stuff over and over again with no breaks or get sat on or nearly choked to death because you want to go to the bathroom or cover your ears!! You never had to grow up feeling like every choice you make is always wrong, that every mistake could probably get you yelled at, living with fear that anything you do will get you punished, with everybody looking at you like they’re disappointed in you, doing bad stuff to you but always making YOU apologize for stuff THEY do!! I…I…I don’t deserve to exist…!!”

Too many words, sentences, and feelings fought for her attention. After a while, none of them won. Mary broke into another fit of sobbing, only this time she began to smack herself in the face, as though punishing herself for all that she said. Or did, or couldn’t do. All the while, Vic could only stand there and let her unleash all of her pent up anger and sorrow. He couldn’t stop her from hurting herself physically, both because he was too small and because he knew giving her space was the best thing right now. Seeing her in such a piteous state flattened him all over again. Here was Mary Summers, his friend, who had done so much for him, bawling and expecting nothing other than censure, convinced that she deserved any and all vitriol thrown at her, the self-confidence she had built over the last month and a half now so low she was reaching to justify any cruel remark directed at her with self-abasement. But the sound of whispering behind him caught his ears. He swiveled around, seeing four sentient pine cones watching the two of them.

“Umm…is she okay?” One pine cone, the biggest out of the quartet, asked sheepishly. The other three just exchanged nervous looks amongst themselves.

How long had they been there? The entire time? Vic didn’t know, and he was in no mood to ask. A brief surge of anger swept through him. Why were they just gawking at her? She wasn’t their entertainment. But getting angry wouldn’t help anyone, especially not Mary. Luckily, he knew exactly what to say.

“She’ll be fine. I’m handling it. She just needs her space. Move along,” Vic waved his paws to shoo the pinecones away. To his relief, the pinecones went on their merry way, leaving the two of them to their own devices.

Other than Mary sniffling, everything was eerily silent. Vic stole a glance at the number on Mary’s hand. It had gone up to 74. He knew what he had to do now.

“...You’re right. I don’t know what it’s like to be autistic, because I’m not,” Vic began, his voice losing the hard edge it had earlier. “I can’t pretend to understand how you feel. You’re your own person and I’m mine, and I can’t know what’s going on inside your head. But I know what it’s like to be ostracized and persecuted over stuff that’s out of your control. You’ve seen what the other hamsters are like, and how they treat passengers. Blanca and I both saw what you being persecuted for being autistic did to you.”

He was right. Mary did willingly show them her memories via the tiny orb robots Vic bought. How long has it been since then? She couldn’t remember anymore.

“Your mother and those doctors…they convinced you to hate yourself and all that you are. They couldn’t be bothered to just stand back and see what the rest of your family and friends see. What Blanca and I see and have always seen: a kind, sweet, affectionate girl who loves books, animals, flowers, pink, pretty drawings, and would do anything to help someone in need.”

“I’m not—”

Vic wasted no time cutting her off. “Who was it that offered to take me out of the Hamster Car and invited me to travel with them?”

“Well, I did…but anybody could have!”

“True, literally anyone else could have. But every time I asked, I was rejected.”

Mary did remember him mentioning this when they first met…and how he couldn’t leave himself because of how small he was.

“You were the only one who listened to me and invited me to come with you, as did Blanca,” Vic asserted. “I couldn’t get out of the Hamster Car on my own. You know I don’t like to mince words, and I want you to know that I am DEAD serious when I tell you this, Mary: You and Blanca are the best things that have ever happened to me. If not for you guys, I’d be miserable and stuck in a place where I’m not wanted. I don’t know how much longer I could have put up with all their vitriol.”

“Uhh…vit-tree-all?” Mary sounded out the new word, knowing she wasn’t saying it right.

“Fancy word for hatred, bitterness, nasty and unwarranted criticism, you name it. My point being, anyone could have helped me out of the Hamster Car, but you and Blanca were the only ones who actually bothered to reach out to me and invite me. You actually gave me a chance and didn’t just brush me off like a thorn in your side. You two made that choice. If not for that choice, I’d be stuck there, ostracized and miserable.”

As much as Mary wanted so badly to contradict him, she couldn’t. He was right about all of it.

“Not only that, you could have rejected Blanca’s offer to join you. But you didn’t, and if not for that, we would never have met. She wouldn’t have reunited with her son and made an attempt to reconcile with him,” Vic reminded her.

Another good point. Mary’s posture flattened.

“You keep saying that we shouldn’t bother helping you, but…after all we’ve been through together, not bothering isn’t an option! Not to me, and I know that’s not what you really want!”

Mary’s hands curled back into fists. Of course she didn’t want that!

“Besides, if you really were a bad kid as you say, would you have saved me from getting eaten by the ducks? Would you have tried to fight off the Ghom? Would you have tried to warn us about the skeletons under the table? Would you have defended your dad when Nora was talking trash about him? Would you have done everything possible to at least try to save Blanca, even when all the odds were against you?”

The questions Vic fired off made Mary sort through her memories, ruminating on all that had happened. But just the thought of not attempting to help Vic and Blanca in any way made her wince. She shook her head vigorously.

“I…I could never just…not help you…” She stammered, on the verge of tears once more. “I love you all too much…”

Vic smiled and scuttled closer to Mary, putting a tiny paw on her knee. “You’ve already proven a hundred times over that you’re nothing like what your mother, those doctors, or Nora claim you are. You don’t need to burn yourself out to prove you’re a good person anymore. You don’t need to keep justifying your existence anymore. You’ve done enough.”

You’ve done enough. Mary had long since given up on ever hearing such words. All her life, people have told her that nothing she said or did was ever enough, even when she put in every effort possible. Didn’t make enough eye contact. Didn’t smile enough. Didn’t care enough. Didn’t socialize with her peers enough. Didn’t put in enough effort to get all the answers on tests right. Didn’t do enough to help her friends when it mattered. Didn’t do enough to seem less autistic. Didn’t do enough to make everyone happy. Sure, a lot of that was Dana and the ABA doctors, and in theory, Mary knew they were full of it. She had seen it with her own eyes when she used the memory orbs on herself. But their words and actions were like thick shackles that weighed heavy on her small frame. They still felt heavy on her even now. Everyone who put all their expectations on her wanted her to prove that she was worthy of deserving the most basic things, when she never needed to put in all that unnecessary effort at all. Her father, sister, and friends never put her through the wringer, so what gave everyone else the right to think she had to? Her mother, Dr. Goldman, the ABA doctors…they all believed she wouldn’t be anything but a bad girl with no future. They never so much as gave her a chance, or continually made up excuses as to why she didn’t deserve one. If only they had seen everything Mary did on the train.

New tears trickled down Mary’s already stinging cheeks. This time, not out of sorrow or self-hatred. The three little words out of Vic’s mouth were all that Mary ever wanted to hear in her entire life. How did he always know what to say to make her feel better? Actually, Mary had known the answer to that question all along. If she hadn’t gotten on that train, if she hadn’t run away from home after discovering her mother’s blog, she never would have met Vic and Blanca, who stood by her, supported her, and helped her, even when they had no obligation to do so. She loved them, and they loved her. No, they still love her. Even after Mary tried to drive him away, Vic remained steadfast and refused to leave her. She stole a glance at Mimi, the stuffed animal she had made into her support, even if how she came into her life wasn’t ideal. Mary crawled over to the stuffed rabbit and gently cradled it in her arms, as if she were holding a baby, holding her close.

“I’m sorry for all the mean things I said, Mimi,” Mary whimpered, hugging her tight, just like old times. “I’m sorry to you too, Vic.”

Vic shook his head. “I know why you said all that you did, and no matter how hard you try to make me, you know I’d never truly hate you. I’d never leave you unless it’s what you truly want,” He gently asserted. “More importantly, you ought to stop hating yourself for not being perfect, or holding yourself responsible for other people’s actions towards you. Easier said than done, I know. Blanca would be sad if she saw you blaming herself for what happened.”

Mary wouldn’t put it past Blanca, considering all the times the marshmallow comforted her whenever she had her moments of weakness. It was more than her own mother ever did in her entire life.

“You absolutely do deserve to exist as you are. Nothing everyone has ever done to you could ever diminish your worth as a person. Nora’s wrong. You’re not worthless, and you never will be,” Vic reminded her.

For the first time since before Blanca was kidnapped, Mary finally allowed herself to smile. “I know…” She mused with a sniff. “Blanca might have said the same thing if she was here…”

The two shared a quick laugh. Blanca would say something like that. She wasn’t the mom of their little ragtag group for nothing.

“Speaking of Blanca, we should probably put together some kind of plan to rescue her,” Vic suggested, crossing his arms. “We can’t rush in blindly.”

The girl nodded in agreement. Rescuing Blanca was their top priority. But for all of Nora’s talk of making Blanca her personal steed, she didn’t seem like the type of person who would even want the marshmallow around. Why even bother taking her? What did Nora even want out of anything in the world? Aside from sticking it to her family, and all of society by extension. Then, something Vic said replayed in her mind.

“For all we know Nora might be sitting around drinking booze and snorting that powder she loves so much. She has talked about wanting to do that for a while.”

It was like lightning struck, giving her renewed energy. Mary suddenly stood up, accidentally throwing Vic off of her knee.

“I remember now!” She shouted. She did look down and notice Vic curled into a ball, immediately realizing what had happened. “Whoops! Sorry!”

Luckily, Vic uncurled just as quickly, paying no heed to her faux pas. “What do you remember?”

“You mentioned before that all Nora wants to do is drink beer and snort drugs, right? When we looked through her memories, she either did that stuff when she was by herself or with Xander and his friends,” Mary reminded him. The gears in her head were turning, and once they started, Mary kept on going. “Nora wants to just do whatever she wants without her parents bossing her around. So if she wants to do all that stuff, she’d probably want to stop in a quiet, empty car with no denizens or passengers bothering her.”

Vic stood right up, flashing a proud grin. “Yeah! You’re onto something there, Mary! If that’s the case, we ought to get a move on! She might be doing just that somewhere, and if she’s inebriated, that’ll give us a chance to get Blanca back!”

The possibility of Nora not going too far sent renewed zeal through Mary. Nora was probably in some car up ahead, drinking booze and lazing about like she always claimed she wanted to do without her parents bothering her. Someone who was drunk probably wouldn’t notice if Mary and Vic took Blanca back from them. With new resolve in her heart, Mary wiped her face, put Mimi in her backpack, slung it over her shoulders, and stood up.

“Let’s do this,” Mary looked towards the tree-lined horizon with a determined gleam in her eyes. Vic crawled up her leg and shirt before settling on her shoulder, right where her old braid used to be.

Figuring out just what kind of car Nora would want to stay in wasn’t much of a solid plan. At this point, Mary and Vic had no idea how they’d even go about getting Blanca back. It all hinged on whether Nora was still close by, and for all they knew, she might have outran them completely. But it was better than nothing. Even Nora wouldn’t be able to run throughout the entire train. She was just one person. Mary and Vic could only hope beyond hope that they were still in somewhat close proximity to them.

Although her legs still throbbed from the running and kicking she did, Mary wasted no time. With Vic on her shoulder, Mary zipped through the car. It was a good thing there wasn’t much to this car except for large trees. At one point, a flickering light caught Mary’s attention. She stopped and looked to her left. The four sentient pine cones from before were sitting around a lit campfire, probably sharing camping stories. They had set up a large beige tent, which was usually a strong indicator that they were camping. Could they have seen Nora? It didn’t hurt to ask. Mary immediately ran up to their campsite.

“Excuse me!” She called out. The pine cones turned to face her. “Sorry to bother you, but did you happen to see a tall girl run through here?” Mary asked. “Purple and pink hair, red coat, angry face?”

The pine cones exchanged confused glances, but one of them raised their hand. “I did! She went that way!” The young pine cone pointed further into the forest. “She’s probably gone by now, though.”

“Hopefully she hasn’t gone too far,” Vic exclaimed.

Mary gave a polite bow and a quick thank you before running deeper into the forest. Luckily for them, they managed to find the exit fairly quickly. The door itself was situated right in the middle of a large rock. When they got through, they crossed the gangway and made their way to the next car. The inside of this car was covered in nothing but drapes in a variety of different colors—vivid vermilion, pastel purple, deep blue, olive green, every color one could think of was used. Drapes covered the car from ceiling to floor, seemingly endless. Several of them were adorned with elaborate patterns. Stars, hearts, clovers, diamonds, crescent moons, feathers, all manner of symbols.

“I wonder what’s in here?” Mary wondered aloud.

She didn’t expect a response, but wound up getting one in the form of something groaning in the distance. Mary readied her umbrella spear, just in case she had to fight. Slowly, she walked deeper into the car, hoping whatever she’d encounter wasn’t either a dangerous denizen, a Ghom, or Nora. As she got closer, some items came into view: A tall wooden chair, a table draped in a crimson red cloth, a crystal ball situated on a purple pillow, a blue treasure chest, a wooden shelf filled to the brim with all manner of scrolls, books, and objects she didn’t recognize, a tall ovular mirror, and a set of candelabra that had been knocked to the floor. Another groan caught Mary’s attention, much clearer than before.

Laying on the floor, beside the draped table was a denizen donning a purple robe adorned with a whole galaxy of stars. Its black hand was exposed, and Mary could see blood seeping out from what appeared to be a wound. A gunshot wound, probably.

“Hey!” Mary ran right over to the fallen denizen. “Are you okay? Hang in there!”

“Nnngh…” The denizen made no movement, but the fact that it was making noise was proof that it was at least alive.

Vic gave the denizen’s wrist a once-over, checking to see just how serious the wound was. “Okay, I don’t see any bullets or fragments, so it must have gone clean through,” Vic surmised. “But there’s a chance its wrist might be broken. I can’t tell for sure.”

“It is,” An unfamiliar, female-sounding voice suddenly piped up. The denizen had lifted her head slightly, showing that her face was little more than a pure black void, with yellow dots serving as her eyes. “I felt it go through my bones. It hurts…really bad…” The denizen’s voice sounded like that of a young girl who had just reached her teens, a little higher pitched than Reagan’s, but lower than Mary’s.

Mary looked around the car to see if there was anything they could use to at least cover the denizen’s wound. There were a lot of drapes, but as far as Mary knew, she didn’t have anything to cut them with, and she didn’t want to have Vic do all the work of chewing through them. It’d take too much time. Then she remembered one of her old shirts. She put her backpack down, opened it, and rummaged through it to find the shirt that now had only one sleeve.

“I’m gonna tie this around your wound. Is that okay?” Mary said, showing the denizen the single-sleeved shirt.

“Go ahead. Anything is fine,” The denizen answered, right as Vic cleaned the rest of the blood around her wrist with one of the drapes on the floor.

Permission secured, Mary knelt down and tied what was left of the single-sleeved shirt around the denizen’s wrist. She made sure not to tie it too tight, or else it’d just exacerbate her injury. It took some maneuvering, but Mary managed to tie it into a secure knot.

“That should at least keep your wound covered,” Mary told her reassuringly.

The denizen had no visible mouth, but her eyes closed in a way that Mary could tell was out of joy. “My…what a kind passenger you are.”

“We would have wrapped it up with something better, but I lost my first aid kit. You should probably get your wrist looked at by a professional,” Vic added before pointing in the direction he and Mary came. “If you go to the next car down this way, there are some denizens that have more medical expertise than we do. They’ll be able to check for sure if your wrist is broken or not.”

The denizen slowly hoisted herself up to the point where she was sitting on the floor upright. “I’ve never left my car before, and I don’t know if I’m allowed to leave or not,” The denizen tried to stand up, but nearly stumbled in doing so. Mary was able to catch her before she could collapse.

“Need me to help you sit somewhere?” Mary asked.

The denizen lifted her uninjured arm, pointing to the wooden chair. Slowly and gently, Mary led the denizen to the wooden chair. Once they got there, the denizen sat down and was able to heave a sigh of relief.

“I am grateful for your assistance. Do forgive my haphazard state,” The denizen mused as she slouched against her wooden chair.

Mary took a minute to put the denizen’s candelabra back on the red table. “It’s okay! We’re just glad we were able to help you a little bit.”

“It’s a good thing you did. The passenger who shot me barreled her way through here half an hour ago,” The denizen informed them. “Though I think showing her what I did incited her to do so.”

“This passenger who shot you…did she have purple and pink hair, wear a red hoodie and big brown boots?” Vic asked.

“Yes,” The denizen answered with a nod.

“What do you mean you incited her to do it?” Mary inquired. The robed denizen didn’t look like the type who would willingly hurt someone, much less force someone to do so. She didn’t see any weapons in the premises, so the denizen’s phrasing was odd.

“I suppose incite is the incorrect term to use,” The denizen began. “I am a clairvoyant, you see. I have the power to see events that have happened in the past. See this crystal ball right here?” She pointed to the turquoise sphere situated on the purple pillow in front of her. “When passengers come through here, I am required to show them events that have transpired in their world while they’ve been on the train, or else I cannot permit them to exit.”

“So you’re saying if somebody’s stuck on the train, you use your crystal ball to show them everything that happened on Earth while they’ve been gone? Like, stuff they haven’t seen happen?” Mary inquired.

“To that effect, yes.”

Then that would mean the clairvoyant would show Mary everything that her family was going through while she herself was on the train. Not too long ago, Mary was convinced that everyone would be better off without her. Happier, even. Even before Nora came into the picture, Mary had believed that her family was on Dana’s side, sharing her belief that they also thought of her as little more than a burden and an embarrassment to the family. Her father’s email had made her rethink things, but a small part of her always nagged at the deep recesses of her mind, trying to convince her that it was all an elaborate trick, a ploy to build her up before tearing her down. Mary pushed that thought as far into the back of her mind as possible, but it was like a fly that kept buzzing around her head, refusing to go away. Now, of all times, an opportunity to confirm if it was true or not had presented itself.

“What did Nora see that made her mad enough to shoot you?” Vic asked.

The robed denizen took a minute to ponder before speaking. “So Nora is her name. At first she was indifferent to what the ball was showing. But then it showed a man being forced into a car, and she just screamed at the top of her lungs ‘He did not get arrested!’ I left out a certain vulgar word she used.”

The duo had a pretty good idea which one she was referring to.

“That was when she knocked my candelabra over and shot me,” The denizen said, finishing her tale.

A man got arrested…could it have been Xander? Considering his actions, the consequences would have caught up to him eventually. If Xander really did get arrested, it would explain why Nora reacted so strongly. But attempting to murder an innocent denizen who was just doing what she was programmed to do? Mary pursed her lips together. It was bad enough that Nora did all the bad things she did to Mary and kidnapped Blanca. Knowing that she intentionally shot an innocent denizen and left her to die just made her blood boil. This denizen didn’t deserve nearly getting killed just because she was doing what she was created to do. If Nora were here right now, Mary wished she could wring her neck. What was it going to take for Nora to be satisfied? Did she just want to cause wanton destruction everywhere she went?

“She kidnapped one of our friends,” Mary’s voice was uncharacteristically firm and hard. “Vic and I are trying to find her and stop her from hurting any more people and denizens.”

The denizen’s hands curled into tight fists. “I see. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to stop her. I did see that she had something white trapped in a plastic bag when she came in. I even saw it moving,” The denizen said.

A white marshmallow? In a plastic bag? Moving? “Mary! That means Blanca’s still alive!” Vic exclaimed. For the first time in what seemed to be forever, his tone and voice sounded genuinely cheerful.

“I’m so glad…” Mary mused under her breath. As relieved as she was about Blanca still being alive, she knew she couldn’t rest easy yet. Knowing she was alive was one thing. Getting her back was another, and they still needed to save her. Before that…

“Will your crystal ball show me what I need to see before I can leave this car?” Mary asked.

The denizen nodded. “It will. I can’t guarantee that you’ll be happy with what you see, though I can guarantee its accuracy,” She told her. “Admittedly, some passengers I met were angry that my powers are so spot on.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t be. You might be able to help me with something really important,” Mary reassured her.

Dare she hope? Dare she find the answers she had sought for so long? Mary steeled herself as she sat on the chair across from the denizen. Now was the time to confirm for certain if her family and friends were truly happy that Mary was gone. She didn’t know what she’d do if what the crystal ball showed would confirm her worst fears.

“You sure about this, Mary?” Vic asked, his furry eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“Yes, Vic. She said we can’t leave the car until I see what her crystal ball shows me, and…I’m already here now.”

Sensing her determination and resolve, the denizen extended her uninjured hand, placing it on the crystal ball. The crystalline orb briefly glowed in a pink light before returning to its original state.

“Mary, right? Place your hand on the orb,” The denizen told her.

Mary swallowed before extending her arm towards the orb, placing her hand on its surface. It was hard yet cool to the touch, like glass. In an instant, the orb glowed a pure white, remaining that way for a few solid seconds before images flashed across it. Not only that, the images played in Mary’s head in stark, perfect clarity, complete with sound and dialogue, as though she were reliving going through her memories all over again.

Her father and sister scrambling to look for her. Search parties combing through forests. Police cars speeding through the city. Mr. Bryant telling the class that she was missing with a forlorn look that she had never seen on his face before. Caitlin beating up Greg because of a nasty comment he made. Her father and sister passing out missing person flyers with her photo on them. Greg’s mother reaching out to her father and being friends with him. Greg’s mother slapping Dana and yelling at her about how she treated Mary, with her daughter—was that the red haired girl she saw at the Barnes and Noble last month?—adding her own commentary. Her father and sister seeing the blog, along with their reactions afterward. Dana’s phone conversation with her mother while stuck in traffic. Her father and sister confronting Dana about the blog, calling her out for everything, from the blog itself to planning to sterilize Mary behind their backs. Her father looking through Mary’s old drawings, and throwing Dana’s Cure Autism Now mug at the wall. Her father talking to Mr. Bryant and Greg’s mother. The arguments her father and mother had afterward. Her father asking Dana for a divorce. Her father telling Dana that she was the one destroying the family, not Mary.

What was a divorce? Mary had no idea. All she knew right now was that everything she was seeing—all that had happened since her disappearance—absolutely obliterated all of the fears and worries that had plagued her since she first learned about Dana’s blog. One mental video that played in her head was enough to finally make the tears flow. It showed Reagan in what appeared to be a school’s infirmary, hugging a red haired girl and crying. The sounds she made were enough to make Mary’s heart break, and her voice was the most fragile Mary had ever heard it.

“Lianna, I can’t go on like this! I can’t go on knowing that my little sister is out there somewhere, probably scared and traumatized!!” Reagan bawled, clutching Lianna like her life depended on it. Her skin was flushed red, cheeks glistening with fresh tears, and her thin body shuddered with sobs. Mary had never seen Reagan look so sad. No, desolate was a better word for it. “Every night, I dream that the police will show up at our door and tell us Mary’s dead!! Probably hacked up by some kidnapper or pedophile or serial killer or God knows what the hell else!! I should have done more to protect her!! I should have put a stop to Mom’s bullshit sooner!! I can’t even…tell Mary I’m sorry for being such a bad sister and never having known all this was happening…!! She deserves…so much better…I want her back so bad…it’s literally killing me…but I know she won’t be happy if she ever does come back…”

Reagan’s words faded with a hitch of her breath as her crying resumed in full force. That was how Reagan felt about all this? Guilty? She felt that she didn’t do a good job of being Mary’s sister and protecting her? Mary balled her fists. That wasn’t true at all! Reagan had nothing to apologize for. Reagan had been nothing but a great sister for as long as she had been alive. One thing was for sure: Her family wasn’t happy that she was gone at all. Even Dana wasn’t happy, even if her sorrow was for all the wrong reasons.

With that, the montage of images finally ended. The light from the crystal ball faded, and Mary felt something warm and wet on her cheeks. She didn’t need to touch it to know that they were tears.

“Oh! I’m so sorry! That must have been—” The denizen scrambled to try and comfort Mary, but the girl shook her head and wiped her eyes.

“No. I…I’m happy I got to see all that…” Mary whimpered as she tried to wipe the tears away once more. “Why did I ever believe that Dad, Reagan, and everybody else would be happy without me? They’re all so sad…they really do love me…”

Vic put a reassuring paw on Mary’s wet cheek. “Of course your family and friends love you. They’re supposed to love and support you no matter what, and they’re not supposed to try and change you to fit their idea of you.”

Yes. It all made sense now. Dana may have loved Mary at some point in her life, but all she ever did was try to change her. Change her to fit into a mold that Mary would never be able to fit into. Even going so far as to take her to questionable doctors, maybe planning to sterilize her, without ever once asking her for her input, just because she couldn’t bear the thought of just leaving things be. Mary hated all those doctors, and absolutely did NOT want to be sterilized. She couldn’t say anything back during ABA, because the adults all ignored her distress, nor did she know the right words to tell them how much she hated all of it. Thinking back, her father and sister did all they could to protect Mary from Dana, even if it didn’t always work. Why would they do that if they truly didn’t love her? Why would they blame themselves for her disappearance if they didn’t love her or want her back? Seeing the guilt and sorrow on their faces hurt too much. She never wanted to see them look so desolate, so utterly inconsolable ever again.

Nora said her family had low standards. Mary knew Nora was wrong, no matter how much a part of her wanted to believe that she and Dana were right about her worth as a human being. Now she had solid proof that her family sans her mother truly, sincerely loved her for who she was. No, Mary knew her family and friends loved her all along, and would never be happy if she was gone. The clairvoyant’s crystal ball only solidified the truth. Mary stood up, walked over to the clairvoyant, and wrapped both arms around her waist in an embrace, taking care not to exacerbate the denizen’s injury.

“Thank you so much, Miss Clairvoyant,” Mary murmured through her tears. “I got all the answers I’ve wanted because of you.”

Although taken aback by Mary’s kind gesture, the denizen put her free, uninjured hand on the girl’s hair and gently stroked it. “You’re welcome. I’m glad I was able to be of help to you.”

The number on Mary’s palm dropped seventy whole digits, back to a solid four. After a few seconds, Mary released the denizen from her embrace, knowing what she needed to do now.

“Since she saw Nora and Blanca come through here earlier, there’s a chance she might still be close by,” Mary told Vic.

“Yeah. We should probably get a move on,” Vic said.

“Would you like me to escort you to the exit?” The denizen offered.

Both Mary and Vic accepted her offer, allowing her to accompany them to the exit. It wasn’t too far, but the exit was hidden by some drapes. The clairvoyant pulled on a rope, pulling the drapes back, revealing the red doors. As soon as the drapes were pulled, the door opened.

“Wait. Miss Clairvoyant?” Mary turned to the denizen. “Do you want to see if you can leave your car?”

“I…” Once again, the clairvoyant was taken aback. She looked at the exit, then back at Mary, then back at the exit, unsure of what to do. “Can I really?”

“Give it a try. You won’t know unless you see for yourself,” Mary suggested.

Vic and Mary left the car, but stayed right at the doors so the denizen could see if she could leave the car. The clairvoyant stood on her side of the exit, looking down at her feet. Dare she step outside her home? After a few tense minutes, the clairvoyant squeezed her eyes shut and stepped outside the car. She opened her eyes and saw that she was out, turning her head back to see for herself.

“Oh…I…I’m out?” The clairvoyant questioned if what she accomplished was real. She stepped back into the car, then stepped back out, repeating the process several times. Mary could tell this was her way of processing that she really was able to leave her car. Once it sank in, the denizen let out a giddy laugh, jumping up and down like a child going to the amusement park for the first time. “I really can leave my car! Why didn’t I realize it before?!”

“They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,” Vic mused with a smile. “And that the first step is often the scariest.”

Vic was absolutely right. Mary found herself thinking back to when she first ran away from home. Normally, she never would have thought to leave the house by herself under any circumstances. She was always too scared of what would happen if she did, and her parents often warned her of the dangers that came with it, like strangers trying to kidnap her. She only did so when she discovered her mother’s blog and learned the truth of how she truly felt about her. If Mary hadn’t made the choice to run away, she wouldn’t have gotten on the train and met Blanca and Vic. She wouldn’t have learned her own history and the true ramifications of her mother’s plan to sterilize her against her will. Learning the truth expanded her world tenfold…all because she made an impulsive decision to escape her mother’s wrath in an attempt to save herself. Mary didn’t dare try to think of how her life would have turned out if she hadn’t gotten on the train.

She’s unsure of the last time she had ever felt sure about anything. Now, more than ever, Mary was sure of one thing: Mary had taken that first step because she wanted to take charge of her own life for once. After coming this far on her journey, she didn’t want it to end just yet. Not until she saved Blanca.

“Like I said before, you ought to head to the car down that way to get your arm patched up properly,” Vic reminded the clairvoyant. “You’ve been a big help—”

“Solongo!”

“Wha?” Mary and Vic exchanged confused expressions at the new, unfamiliar word they just heard out of the denizen’s mouth.

“Solongo. That’s what my name is. I forgot to mention it before amidst all the confusion and excitement.”

So her name was Solongo. An odd name for certain, but it was certainly distinct, and one Mary made sure to cement in her mind. She didn’t want to forget someone so important, who was just as important as all the other denizens she met. Ben Greene. Blanca. Vic. The slugs in the Black Market Car. Alvise. The snail teacher. Shiro. Now Solongo was a part of that list.

“Well, this is goodbye, Solongo. Thank you for everything,” Mary told her.

Solongo had no mouth, but the way her eyes closed conveyed her joy just fine. “I wish you both a safe journey!”

Waves were exchanged before Mary and Vic made their way down the gangway, with Solongo returning to her car and closing the exit doors behind her. Mary ran towards the next car with renewed resolve. She may have failed to save Blanca last time, but she wasn’t going to give up. Not any more. As much as she wanted to go home, as she was so close to doing just that now that her number was closer to zero than ever, she couldn’t go back just yet. Blanca needed them. Blanca had done so much for them, and Mary always felt bad that she couldn’t do much to repay her for all her kindness. She walked onward with the knowledge that now she had the chance to do just that.

“You ready for this, Vic? I don’t know if we’ll survive this.”

“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t!”

“Right!” With the knowledge of what this month and a half has done for her, all that she’s done for himself, there was one more thing left for Mary to do before she could leave the train. “Just you wait, Blanca! We’re on our way to save you!”

Chapter Text

These days, sleep had become an unreachable luxury for Todd Summers. In some ways, it still was. Often, his mind was plagued with nightmares about Mary never coming back alive. He trudged through every day with circles under his eyes or his brain in a thick fog. But any exhaustion and lack of clarity was zapped out of his system when he received a call from Reagan’s high school telling him to pick her up because she fell ill. He wasted no time going to pick her up, leaving Dana by herself. They hadn’t exchanged words since their heated argument, and although Todd said he was divorcing his wife, he hadn’t even gotten started on the actual process yet. But that could wait. For today, as much as he was hurting, Reagan needed him.

When they got home, Todd insisted that she at least get some sleep, but she told him about the nightmares that haunted her every night. For a brief moment, father and daughter found comfort in one another, their shared pain actually strengthening their bond. Todd had known Reagan was suffering in her own way, and had tried to reach out, but she kept brushing him off, and he knew it was because she was trying to make things easier on him. As much as he appreciated her trying to be considerate, he couldn’t bear the thought of Reagan making herself sick for his sake. Since Reagan was sick, Todd decided that night’s dinner would be a light affair, warm corn chowder soup with chicken and rice. Todd wasn’t much of a cook himself, but he had taken up learning some basic recipes, if only so he could distract himself from Mary’s disappearance. It gave him something to do. Plus, Dana had shut herself up in her room since their argument, except for when she had to work. He figured he could at least lighten her load.

That night, sleep had come surprisingly easy for him. For the first time since Mary had disappeared, Todd slept through the entire night. Probably from sheer exhaustion, if anything. But no nightmares haunted his dreams this time around. He didn’t wake up even as the first morning light seeped through his open window. One thing did rouse him from sleep, and it was the low revving of a car engine. He only heard it because he had opened his window, and the driveway was right underneath it. With a groggy groan, Todd forced himself off the bed and towards the window. Dana’s car was a blur as he watched it pull out of the driveway and onto the road, disappearing as it turned a corner.

“She must be on her way to work,” Todd mused, rubbing his eyes. “Man, what time is it?”

He was in no mood to ask the Alexa machine on his dresser what time it was, since he could see it just fine, and was still too groggy to raise his voice to ask. The time read 8:56 AM. Far later than he usually slept. Maybe that was a good thing in this case, since he actually managed to get through a night without waking up to any nightmares for once.

Wait a minute…the date underneath the time said Friday, November 13th. Today was friday.

“Dana doesn’t work on Fridays,” The realization formed on his lips as he processed the date. If Dana was off work today, where had she gone? Grocery shopping? No, it was too early for that. She usually went shopping between eleven and twelve.

Just thinking about it was making his head throb, so he figured he might as well go downstairs and put on some coffee. Maybe make some toast. A big yawn escaped him when he slowly made his way down the stairs, his brain still trying to untangle the webs of sleepiness that still clung to it. Sure enough, there was fresh coffee in the machine. Dana must have put it on for him. But something in his peripheral vision drew his eyes away from the coffee machine. Underneath it was a folded piece of paper.

On impulse, Todd took the paper out from underneath it and unfolded it. It was a letter.

Todd,

I’m sorry. For everything. You’ve been right all along. I just didn’t want to admit it until now. Everything that’s happened for the past seven years has been entirely my fault. Mary was never the problem. For so long, I thought I was trying to save the family from ruin, but I’ve thought long and hard about what you’ve said to me, and realized that I was the one ruining everything all along. I’ve let my mother and all that she did to me completely dominate my life, and I’ve hurt everyone around me because of it. You’re right: I have become just like my mother.

I know admitting all this won’t change anything or come anywhere close to fixing all the pain I’ve caused you all, especially Mary. So I’ve decided to leave. Forever. It’s better that I take myself out of the equation before I add onto the damage I’ve already done. You can have full custody of the girls. I won’t even show up to any custody hearings, since my absence will guarantee that you get the girls by default. I’ll even send you child support money. They deserve better than me. I’ve made so many mistakes in both my life and theirs, I doubt Reagan and Mary would ever want to forgive me, or even want to see me again, especially Mary. I don’t blame them. I don’t know what I’m going to do from here on out, but on the off chance that Mary does return, tell her I’m sorry for being such a bad mother, for not loving her as she was, for putting her through ABA, the blog, the lies I posted on it, all of it.

There’s so much about myself that I need to figure out. To be honest, I don’t even know myself or what I even like or what I want. If helping myself and getting counseling can help with that, then it’s high time I stopped putting it off. So…this is goodbye. All I know for sure is that I need to get as far away from my mother as humanly possible. I can’t bear to be even in the same state as her, and knowing that she’ll probably track me down scares me more than anything. But at least my leaving will probably keep her from giving you all a hard time. I hope. Once again, I’m sorry for everything. Thank you for all the times we shared before I messed it all up. Take care, all of you. And Todd, if you ever decide to meet another woman, I hope she treats you and the girls better than I did. You all deserve so much better.

Dana Fitzpatrick

So…that was it? Dana leaving earlier was her leaving forever? Todd’s hands tightened around the edges of the letter, crumpling it. This was her answer? Just…leaving? Burning bridges and never looking back? Throwing them away like trash? Todd didn’t know what to think. Was this why she shut herself up in her room? How long had she been planning this? He had no clue, and that was probably intentional on Dana’s part. Sure, he had wanted to divorce Dana, but he didn’t want her to just up and leave. Couldn’t they have tried to at least talk about all this? Too many differing explanations, emotions, and contradictions whirled inside him like a maelstrom. What even was Dana’s letter supposed to be? A genuine apology? Yet another abdication of responsibility, yet again running away from the problems she caused? The only solution to the problem she could feasibly conjure up? His legs buckled and he fell to the floor, his back leaning against the cupboard underneath the sink. He ran a hand through his shaggy hair, still unable to process what he had read.

He was able to say one thing about it.

“You should have told Mary all this yourself,” Todd whimpered.

First Mary, and now Dana. It was like everyone in his life was slowly drifting away from him one by one, and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Why did all of this have to happen? More than that, how would he be able to tell Reagan about this?

“Dad?”

Speak of the devil. Reagan came down from upstairs, wearing a pair of light blue pajamas with white snowflake patterns all over it. As soon as she saw her father on the floor, her once tired face immediately became alert.

“You okay? What happened?” Reagan kneeled down to his level, her features laced with newfound worry.

Well, there was no point in hiding it. “...Your mother’s gone.”

“Huh?”

“She left…and she’s probably never coming back,” Todd hated how fragile and brittle his voice sounded.

Reagan saw the letter in his hand and took it so she could read it over. Todd could only close his eyes, unable to hide the truth from her. He didn’t need to look at his older daughter to know that she was probably seething. The sound of crumpling paper was harsh against his ears.

“... This is her idea of an apology?!” Reagan exclaimed, using both hands to mold the letter into a ball before throwing it at the wall. “She’s just gone?! Just like that?!”

Todd had no answer for her. It hurt so much to not be able to give Reagan the answers she wanted. He couldn’t bring himself to stand up, the guilt weighed on him so much.

“Actually, fine! Maybe this’ll be a good thing!” Reagan’s voice cracked, harsher this time. “We don’t have to put up with her yelling at us all the time and blaming everybody else for all the problems she causes!”

Fair point. The house would be much quieter, and if Mary were to return, she would no longer bear the brunt of Dana’s abuse. But there were still so many unanswered questions. So many things he still wanted to say to her. Things Reagan wanted to say to her mother.

“Why did things have to turn out like this? How did everything just…fall apart like this?” Reagan’s voice dropped in volume, but the bitter undercurrent remained.

“I’m sorry, Reg,” Todd wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. “You deserve so much better than this. All of this. I don’t know what’s going to happen from here on out. I don’t know how we’re going to get through this. But we’ll get through it together.”

Reagan sniffed, probably holding back tears. “I don’t feel like going to school today.”

“I’ll call later and let them know you’ll be absent. Do you still have a fever?”

“Dunno. Haven’t really checked,” Reagan put a hand on her forehead. It was still warm, but not burning hot like it was before. “My nose is still stuffed up, though I don’t feel anywhere near as groggy as I did yesterday.”

Todd forced himself to stand up. “All that sleeping you did yesterday probably helped.”

Reagan followed suit, only she reached over the counter to grab a banana, her lips pressed in a firm, bitter line. “The least she could’ve done is let us say goodbye,” She muttered through clenched teeth, her anger still fresh.

Whatever Dana decides to do from now on, Todd silently wished her well, praying that she could find some kind of peace and get the help she needs. But it didn’t change the fact that the Summers family was steadily shrinking. First Mary disappears, and now Dana is gone. There were still no concrete answers on whether Mary was alive or not, and Todd didn’t dare try to conjure any thoughts of Mary being dead. This was just too much to think about. A lot of things weighed on his mind, and he needed to focus on taking care of Reagan right now.

He called the school and informed them of Reagan’s absence, then whipped up some breakfast. Their meal was a quiet, solemn affair, but nowhere near as awkward and tense as it used to be now that Dana was gone. When was the last time father and daughter enjoyed a quiet breakfast together? Neither of them could remember. Most of their breakfast times involved Dana complaining about something Mary did or didn’t do, which would always bring down the mood. Now they no longer had to worry about that. Reagan actually smiled as she took her time savoring the scrambled eggs, and Todd figured it was because that realization dawned on her. Once Todd was finished, he put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

“Do you need me to run that later?” Reagan asked.

“I’ll do it in a bit,” Todd answered as he walked over and ran a hand through her hair. “You need to rest today. Besides, it’s my job to worry about you, not the other way around.”

For once, Reagan didn’t try to argue with him. There was so much to process after all. As she continued eating her breakfast, Todd went into the den and turned the news on. It was way too early in the morning to untangle all this stuff right now. Both he and Reagan needed to get ready for the day before they could sort through this mess.

“Oh!” Just as he was about to sit down on the couch, a lightning bolt of realization struck the far reaches of his brain. “Does Dana’s boss know that she’s gone? I should probably call just to make sure,” He ran into the kitchen to grab the phone.

In his rush to call Dana’s workplace, he had left the TV on, with the news continuing to play on the screen.

“Moving along, the search continues for 65-year-old doctor Jacob Goldman, who went missing this past Wednesday. His ex-wife reported that he was last seen leaving his office at 4PM that day after the two of them had an argument. He is wearing a white lab coat, a light blue dress shirt, black pants, and brown leather shoes. He has recently come under controversy after several former patients of his filed lawsuits against his practice, all of which claim that he and several of his employees physically abused and tortured them during ABA treatments over a period of a decade.”

Mary and Vic made their way through another set of red doors and into a new car, which consisted of nothing but plump, orange pumpkins as far as the eye could see. Pumpkins of all shapes and sizes dominated the premises, like something out of a Halloween fair. Thin rays of light peeked through the clouds, just as orange as the pumpkins themselves.

“Blancaaaaaa!” Mary cupped both sides of her mouth with both hands and called out for her friend. “Blanca, where are yooooou?! Blancaaaaaa!” Unfortunately for her and Vic, there was no response.

Vic hopped off of Mary’s shoulder and began sniffing the ground. His sensitive nostrils did catch a familiar scent, recognizing it as Nora’s. It wasn’t fresh, but it lingered. Mary looked down and saw Vic sniffing as he walked, so she decided to follow behind him, taking care to be as slow as possible so she wouldn’t step on him.

“The fact that her scent is lingering means she probably hasn’t left the car yet, so depending on how big this car is, she might be close by,” Vic informed Mary.

So close, yet so far. Mary’s hands clutched the straps on her backpack as she silently prayed that Blanca was safe and unhurt. She wished she could teleport so she could just snatch Blanca right back and disappear before Nora could react. But this wasn’t a TV show. Mary looked ahead, figuring she could find something further off that Vic couldn’t. No sign of Nora anywhere, and all she saw were pumpkins. The two of them had to maneuver their way around some particularly large ones that had blocked their path just to keep following Nora’s trail. Mary had stepped over a pumpkin that was the size of her head when just as she put both feet on the ground, Vic, who had climbed over it before her, suddenly let out a shout.

“Hey! These are Nora’s bootprints!”

Bootprints? Mary scurried over to where Vic was, kneeling down to get a better look. Sure enough, there was a trail of footprints leading further into the car. However, Mary’s blood ran cold when she saw a familiar symbol right in the sole of the footprints.

“They make boots with Nazi symbols on them?” Mary asked, confounded by the idea that any reputable company would even want to put a swastika on their footwear. “Who would do that? Actually, never mind. I don’t wanna know.”

Vic deflated upon seeing the footprints. “I only know these are Nora’s because I saw these exact footprints before. The day we met her in the Snow Car, actually.”

“Really? You never mentioned that.”

“I had no idea that symbol even represented something bad at the time. I wish I had realized it sooner,” Vic confessed, scratching his ear as he averted Mary’s gaze. Out of shame, Mary surmised. “If I had, we probably would have figured out Nora was bad news and stayed away from her.”

Considering how tight-lipped Nora was about her past, she didn’t exactly broadcast her Neo-Nazi leanings when they first met. Boots like hers probably weren’t common, so Mary could only assume they were custom made, or sold online. One likely wouldn’t have been able to see the swastikas on her boots unless they were looking for them specifically. Besides, if Vic had been aware of its connotations, he would have mentioned it straight out, considering his outspoken personality. Mary knew he wasn’t the type to deliberately hide such valuable information if he did know. Mary flashed a smile as she gently reached out to stroke his back with her finger.

“Don’t feel bad, Vic. You didn’t know. None of us did,” Mary reassured him. “Besides, with this, we’ll know she’s been here.”

Vic lifted his head and smiled, appreciating her reassurance. “Let’s keep going,” Vic said. “These footprints are fresh, so we might just have a chance of catching up to them.”

How Vic was able to tell that they were recent, Mary had no idea, and didn’t get the opportunity to ask, as the hamster darted further ahead. Mary followed behind him, going into a slow run to keep pace with him.

There was still no sign of Nora herself, but her footprints left a steady trail for them to follow. At one point, Mary got bored and looked down at her hand. Her palm still had the glowing number four smack dab in the middle. She thought back to the first day she had been brought onto the train, and how One-One explained that the train was supposed to help her sort out her problems, learn more about herself, and grow as a person. At the time, Mary had no clue what any of those things meant, even assuming growing meant literally grow like a plant would. But after all this, she understood it far better than she did before.

She certainly had learned more about herself: How she had been made to suppress herself, her feelings, and everything that informed her as a person because Dana and the ABA doctors told her to do so. How she hated herself because of all of it. Before, for as much as Mary tried to be kind to others and be as nice as she could be, she always wondered if she was a truly bad, selfish person on the inside. She thought back to when Vic got angry at her in the Venice Car and asked her if her attempts at helping him were because his distress was inconvenient for her, not out of actual care for his well-being. She thought of all the times she tried to help her mother with things around the house, or tried to make her happy, only to either be brushed off or yelled at because it either wasn’t right or was accused of trying to humiliate her. So many people had just…decided that Mary was all-out bad just because of how she was born, always questioning her intentions, all based on what other people had told them about autism and autistic people. Even Nora tried to twist Mary’s reasons behind leaving her behind in the Haunted House Car into being more insidious than they actually were.

Looking back on all that she did during her time on the train, all of which Vic had pointed out to her…she had proved them wrong all along. A bad person wouldn’t have tried to save their friends, even if the odds were against them. A bad person wouldn’t spend all their time feeling guilty or apologetic over every little thing, doing their best to make the people who hurt them happy even at the expense of their own happiness. Why had Mary believed it all when it had never been true?

“...Vic?”

The hamster stopped, turning around to face Mary. “What’s up?”

“...Is there such thing as a truly good or bad person?”

A brief silence fell between them before Vic spoke up.

“I don’t think it’s ever that clear cut,” Vic answered calmly. “Sometimes people and denizens do bad things for good reasons, like to survive or because they aren’t able to pursue better options. Sometimes people are convinced to do bad things because somebody else tells them to. You saw what Xander did to Nora.”

Fair point. Xander didn’t even need to do anything elaborate or fancy to convince Nora that her family was against her. She made the choice to believe every word he said without question.

“And sometimes people do bad things for no reason at all, or for reasons we’ll never know. Or sometimes they just don’t know any better. But one thing’s for sure: Only you get to decide what person you want to be. That’s what my dad used to say to me, at least,” Vic reiterated.

If there was one thing Mary had decided on ever since she got on the train, it was that she did not want to be like Dana. After seeing all that her grandmother but Dana through, it was no wonder she turned out the way she did. Mary wondered what she’d be like if she didn’t have people like her father, Reagan, Caitlin, Leo, or Mr. Bryant in her life. Or if she had never met Vic and Blanca. Or if she hadn’t gotten on the train. Would she have turned into another Dana? Like Nora? Something in between? Would she have just…completely shut down and resigned herself to obeying all of her mother’s demands for the rest of her life, sterilization included? Just thinking about the endless possibilities made her head hurt. But now that she thought about it, the possibilities she conjured up were just that: Possibilities. They weren’t set in stone. They weren’t guaranteed to happen.

“...Sometimes I wonder…what if I had never gotten on the train?” Mary mused aloud, stopping in her tracks. She glanced down at her palm. A glowing green four greeted her. “What if I hadn’t run away? Would things have stayed the same, or would they change if I had said something about the blog?”

“Nobody can really say. Personally, I’m glad you got on the train,” Vic told her with a grin. “If you hadn’t, we never would have met or gone on all these adventures. Like I said before, I was miserable being stuck with the other hamsters, and I couldn’t get out of the Hamster Car by myself. As dangerous as it could be sometimes, I had a lot of fun!” He exclaimed with fervor.

Mary cracked a grin as well. He was right. Parts of her journey had been dangerous, but in a way, it had been the most fun she had in years. She never would have gotten to see things like a world of candy and sweets, a castle made of clouds, giant flowers, monsters straight out of Godzilla movies, and so on.

“I’m definitely gonna miss stuff like this when I get home,” Mary said.

When I get home. As soon as those words passed her lips, the realization struck her like a lightning bolt. Her number was at 4 now. She was close to going home. Vic seemed to realize it as well. His smile turned downward, and his small body deflated.

“Vic? What’s wrong?”

On impulse, Vic scuttled over to Mary, crawled onto her shoe and hugged her leg.

“Vic? What are—”

“I know it’s really selfish of me to say this,” Vic’s voice was softer, brittle, almost fragile. Like he was on the verge of tears. Mary had never heard him sound like that. “But…I don’t want you to go.”

His claws trembled as they clutched the fabric of Mary’s pant leg. Mary had no idea what had prompted this. Was the upcoming end of her journey really so frightening to Vic? Initially, Mary didn’t want to go home at first, as she thought nobody loved her. Now that she knew the truth, realizing that wasn’t the case, as much as Mary didn’t want to leave the train, she had accepted that she would have to leave once her number hit zero. One-One had said as much in the video Mary saw when she first woke up. Vic knew this as well. But knowledge couldn’t always change one’s feelings about a subject. How long had he been feeling this way? Not a single word formed on Mary’s tongue, even as she opened her mouth to speak.

“Other than my parents, I didn’t have anyone I could bare my soul to or share my interests with,” The strain in Vic’s voice was unmistakable now. “The other hamsters can’t stand me. I couldn’t leave on my own, and no passenger wanted me around. This journey with you and Blanca really is the best thing to ever happen to me…and I don’t want it to end!”

Mary couldn’t see it since he was so small, and the hem of her dress obscured him from view, but his quiet sobs told her that he was starting to cry now.

“I know I can’t force you to stay,” Vic continued. “Passengers aren’t meant to stay on the train, and you have a family that misses you.”

Mary bent down to get a better look at him. “Maybe you can come with me,” She suggested. “Maybe when my number hits zero and a way home opens up, you can go through it with me.”

The hamster shook his head. “Denizens can’t leave the train. I saw one try to go into an exit portal once, and it didn’t work.”

So bringing Vic to Earth was a no-go. Mary exhaled a defeated sigh. As much as she hated to admit it, Mary figured as much. Still, seeing Vic so sorrowful and vulnerable was surreal. Even so, the fact that he cherished his time with her and Blanca like this, to the point of openly crying upon Mary’s departure coming closer, warmed her heart. All his confession did was re-affirm how much he cared about her and Blanca. With a small smile, Mary gently reached a hand behind him and used her index finger to stroke the fur on his back.

“I’m sorry I can’t bring you with me. I’d gladly do so if I could,” Mary murmurs. “But people might freak out if they saw a talking hamster. Then again, nobody would believe me if I said you were born on a magic train.”

“True that.”

The two of them shared a giggle.

“I know I’ll have to leave soon,” Mary soon whispers. “But I won’t leave until we save Blanca, and that’s a promise. If the train tries to make me leave before then, I won’t let it. If I left now, who knows what would happen to Blanca? I’d be a bad friend if I just abandoned her, especially after all she’s done for us.”

Leaving the train while Blanca was still under Nora’s thumb was absolutely not an option. Friends don’t abandon each other. She tried to leave them behind in the Venice Car out of guilt, almost dying as she did so, but they saved her, even after all that had happened. She deliberately pushed Vic’s buttons in an attempt to make him abandon her earlier, but he was steadfast and remained by her side, knowing that wasn’t what she wanted. If Mary just left and abandoned Blanca, it’d be no better than sentencing her to death by Nora’s hand, and she’d never be able to forgive herself.

Wait…now that she thought about it, if Mary couldn’t take Vic with her, then…

“Oooh! I have an idea!” Mary exclaimed. “Maybe you can ask Blanca if you can move in with her!”

“Huh?” Vic’s face froze from the shock of Mary’s sudden question, to the point where he stopped crying into her pant leg.

“Since you don’t like being in the Hamster Car, maybe you can ask her if you can live with her in the Sweets Car!” Mary elaborated, her voice rising several octaves in her excitement at explaining her suggestion. “I bet she’d love having you around! Though I don’t think stuff like candy, chocolate, and cake are good for hamsters to eat. Urgh…!” Mary ruminated on it more, unsure of if the arrangement would even work considering they’re very different denizens with differing dietary needs.

Even so, the idea wasn’t entirely without merit, and since their cars were so close, Vic wouldn’t need to travel too far to get there. Blanca could help with opening the doors since he was too small and physically weak to do so himself. There was a lot to think about, and the more he thought about it, the better it sounded. Mary was right in that candy and pastries weren’t good for hamsters, but he was sure he’d be able to find some way around that. Without meaning to, Vic let go of Mary’s leg and rolled on his back, doubling over in laughter.

“Uhh…why are you laughing?” Mary asked, flummoxed by his reaction.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m not trying to be mean,” Vic wiped some tears away before calming down from his laughing fit. “It’s just…the solution was right in front of me all along, and I couldn’t even see it.”

Mary smiled once more. “I know that feeling.”

Now that he had calmed down some, Vic rolled back on his feet with renewed confidence. “Let’s bring it up after we save her.”

“Yeah! Let’s see if—”

An anguished scream echoed further into the car, its source a voice nobody recognized. Mary immediately stood up in alarm. It didn’t sound like Nora or Blanca. Was somebody in trouble? Mary and Vic exchanged determined expressions, nodding in unison before making a mad dash further into the car. The screaming continued as they ran, growing louder with every step they took. After what seemed to be a few minutes, Mary and Vic found themselves at a clearing, discovering the source of the commotion. Nora had a stocky middle aged man pinned to the ground, pointing a pistol right at his face. The man in question was screaming for his life, struggling to break free, but the wild teenage girl had one knee on his chest, and the other on his right arm, preventing him from fleeing. Mary and Vic hid behind some pumpkins, taking care to hide and stay out of Nora’s line of vision.

“I want everything you have on ya!!” Nora bellowed, continuing to wave her pistol at his face.

“Please stop! I don’t have anything else, I swear!!” The middle aged man’s face was white with terror and gleaming with perspiration.

She was threatening and robbing an innocent passenger! The man’s lab coat and pants pockets were turned inside out, revealing nothing. Mary and Vic could only assume she had taken everything he had on him. But something else caught Mary’s attention as she tried to think of a way to save him. Next to the two of them was a large silver pod, big enough to fit a person. It had been opened, showing a tiny monitor that displayed an image of One-One droning on about stuff Mary didn’t quite understand. Come to think of it, Mary was in one of those when she first woke up on the train. Was that where the old man came from? If that was the case, the man had just gotten on the train, and the very first thing he was experiencing right now was being threatened at gunpoint by a violent teenager. The abject terror on his face was painful to see. Mary thanked her lucky stars that she didn’t wake up on the train with somebody threatening to kill her.

But in that instant, the gears in her head began to turn.

“Vic, I have an idea,” Mary kneeled down to whisper.

“What’s that?”

She leaned closer and whispered in his ear.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Absolutely. Now go,” Mary gestured towards the oblong pod.

With this, the plan was in motion. Vic nodded and made a beeline towards Nora. He managed to jump on the back of her leg, scuttled up her back and onto her head before covering her face with his body.

“Wha?! The hell?! Agh!” Nora reached out to try and brush him off, but the hamster kept moving every which way, evading her hands. His agile movements made it hard for Nora to get a good grasp on him. Luckily, in her frustration, she moved around so much that she unknowingly removed herself from atop the middle aged man. Catching on to what was happening, the man pushed the girl, screaming as he did so, making her fall right back into the pod.

“Now Vic!!” Mary cried out from behind the top half of the pod.

The hamster bounced right off Nora’s face and outside the pod. Nora had no time to process what was going on, but she did see one thing. Mary slammed the top half of the pod right down, trapping Nora in complete darkness.

“Fuck!! Lemme out!! Lemme outta heeeere!!” Nora shrieks were muffled by the thick alloy that made up the pod’s material. Clanging and banging noises followed. Mary threw herself on the top of the pod, using her body to press down on it as hard as she could, if only to prevent Nora from getting out of there. That solved one problem.

Mary turned to look at the terrified passenger. Now that she got a better look at him, the man was in his sixties, with thinning brown hair that circled the back of his head and nothing else. He wore a white lab coat, a light blue shirt, black pants, and brown leather shoes. As soon as she laid eyes on him, Mary was hit with an overwhelming sense of deja vu. Had she…seen this man before? He looked strangely familiar, but she couldn’t quite place where she could have seen him…until she saw the name tag dangling from his coat.

Dr. Jacob Goldman.

Goldman…every vein in her body was suddenly screaming, ablaze like a wildfire raging in a forest. This man…the man who oversaw all her ABA sessions, who told all the doctors to treat her, who had then been just a toddler, like a hardened criminal, who convinced her mother that autism was an enemy to be fought, who had been so cruel to Mary for little to no reason. What in the world was he doing on the train?! Just like back in the Campfire Car, Mary’s rage threatened to boil right over, bubbling red hot until she’d erupt like a volcano.

You…!! You ruined my life!! You and the other ABA doctors hurt me and treated me like a criminal for three whole years!! You told Mom that autism is a disease and made her hate me!! You’re the reason Mom doesn’t love me!! You kept making me do all that baby stuff and yelled at me if I did anything at all!! You people tried to kill me!! You made me think that my whole existence is bad!! That I’m nothing but a worthless kid all because I’m autistic!! That nobody would ever love me if I’m not normal!! Have you done all this to other autistic people, too?! Have you made them and their families suffer, too?! All of it…Mom hating me, me hating myself, all the trauma I had to endure when I never needed to, all the pain, all the years I can never get back…IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!!

So many words, thoughts, and feelings fought for her attention. All the bile she wanted to throw at Dr. Goldman was right there, and she wanted so, so, so badly to call him out on all that he had done to her. To her family. In that instant, she had it all planned out. Everything she wanted to say ever since she first learned about him was right there on her tongue. God, why did she wind up saving this guy? He had done nothing to deserve being saved. What did he even do to end up on the train? More than that, Mary wanted to beat this guy up! Punch him, kick him, pin him down the same way he used to do to her, yell at him just like he and the other doctors did to her. See how he liked it! To think she had been so afraid of this man before. Mary opened her mouth…but no words came out. This time, she knew why.

Mary. Stop. Remember why you’re doing this.

No. This was not the time to let anger get the better of her, no matter how justified she may be in her rage. As much as she hated Dr. Goldman with her whole being, saving Blanca was more important. Her morals and original mission won out.

“...Are you okay, sir?” Mary asked, her small voice as gentle and reassuring as she could make it.

Although his eyes were still wide like saucers, he was able to nod.

“You need to run that way,” Mary pointed in the direction where she and Vic came from. “There’s some safer train cars down there. I’ll handle things here. Go! Hurry!”

Without hesitation, the terrified doctor scrambled to his feet and ran like his house was on fire, disappearing into the pumpkin patch. Nora continued to bang on the inside of the pod, and Mary could feel it shaking underneath her. There wasn’t much time. Nora could break out at any minute. She knew what she needed to do now.

“Vic. I need you to go and find Blanca,” Mary steeled herself and looked right at her hamster friend, her expression hard as stone. “You’re smaller than me, so it’s easier for you to hide in the pumpkins, and you’ll be able to get to Blanca faster.”

“But what about you?!” Vic quavered.

“I’ll distract Nora and buy you time! I’ll handle things here!” Mary shot back. It was a long shot, but it was a risk she was willing to take.

“She’s too strong for you! She’ll—”

“Vic! Just go! I need you to trust me!!” Mary shouted. “Because I trust you!!”

The pod jerked and jolted underneath Mary. There was no more time. As much as Vic didn’t want to leave Mary at Nora’s mercy…he knew this was not the time to argue. Mary said so herself. She trusted him. All he needed to do was believe in her. This time, without hesitation, Vic gave an affirming nod and scurried further into the pumpkin patch as fast as his little legs could carry him. Mary heaved a sigh of relief. At least with this, one of them would have a chance at freeing Blanca before Nora could get back to her.

Her relief was short-lived as a hole exploded out from the pod, just barely missing Mary by at least five inches. Mary jolted backward under the assumption that Nora would fire more shots from inside the pod. As soon as she did so, Nora kicked the pod open and rolled right out, taking a minute to stand back up. Mary didn’t need to look at her to know that the rage emanating from her whole being was palpable. Right as Nora saw Mary, the teenager’s facial features contorted into something visceral.

“YOU…!!”

The first thing Mary noticed upon seeing Nora was that the teenager’s eyes were completely bloodshot. They almost didn’t look like human eyes. But she had no time to ruminate on it further, as Nora let out a blood curdling screech and charged right at her with all the ferocity of a wild animal. Her pink and purple hair was completely askew, its messy strands standing up and defying gravity. Nora lunged forward, throwing her arm out in an attempt to grab Mary, but the younger girl swiftly ducked and ran right past her. Unfortunately, she wasn’t fast enough, as Nora managed to grab her backpack and pulled her so hard, Mary was practically lifted off the ground. Not long after, Nora slammed Mary onto the ground and raised her fist in the air, ready to punch the younger girl’s face in. Since Mary didn’t feel anything trapping her against the ground, like Nora’s legs or arms, she was able to roll to the side, avoiding the punch, which resulted in Nora’s fist missing its target.

Mary stood up and attempted to run once more, but something hard kicked her backpack, sending her to the ground face first. Painful jolts wracked her small body, and before she could reorient herself, a foot pressed down on her backpack, leaving her unable to move, and a hand gripped a good chunk of her hair. Nora pulled hard on Mary’s hair to the point of taking her head with her…before slamming her head onto the ground. Again, and again, and again. Mary’s head and nose throbbed when they made contact with the dirt, and she tightly pursed her lips together, mainly so she wouldn’t end up swallowing any dirt. But the pain bordered on unbearable, and it took everything she had not to scream. Mary was able to put her hands in front of her face after the third bash, hopefully to prevent potential head or brain injuries.

“Thought you could follow me on this train and make my life hell, huh?!” Nora howled like a madwoman, repeating the process of bashing Mary’s head against the ground. “You ain’t gonna take me back there, you fucker!! I’m not gonna be your fucking slave!!”

What in the world was Nora talking about? Mary didn’t know, and if she didn’t act soon, she’d find herself six feet under. Using her hands as a buffer for her head wasn’t going to free her from Nora’s grasp. In that instant, she felt something rubbing against her leg by way of her pants pocket. The pepper spray Ben had given her so long ago. That’s it! Mary slowly moved one of her hands to her pocket, even as her head burned from the roots of her hair coming close to getting yanked out of her scalp, what with how hard Nora was pulling. But Nora’s ferocious delirium seemed to work in Mary’s favor, as she was so focused on beating Mary to a pulp that she didn’t notice the smaller girl’s arm moving. Finally, her hands wrapped around the pepper spray, and she used her fingers to feel for the button on top. She couldn’t afford to make a mistake. She had to act. Now.

Nora barely comprehended the swift movement of Mary’s arm before she saw something purple enter her vision, then some kind of spray. As soon as the substance hit her eyes, a burning sensation inundated her. She let out an agonized scream as her hands flew to her eyes in a futile attempt to soothe them. The pain was so overwhelming that Nora doubled backwards, falling right on her rear. It worked! Mary wasted no time standing back up and making a break for it, unaware that she had dropped the pepper spray in her scramble to leave. She knew she needed to find some place to hide. But where? The whole car was nothing but pumpkins as far as the eye could see, big and small. The big ones could make for temporary hiding spots, but it was all but guaranteed that Nora could just walk around them and find her. None of the ones she found were hollow, so she couldn’t go inside them.

Or were they? Mary didn’t know how far her legs carried her, but after a while, she found herself standing before a particularly large pumpkin, as big as a whole house. She put her hand on it before stopping to catch her breath. But something was off about it. The skin on the pumpkin was soft, rather than hard. Could this mean…? There was no doubt in her mind. If Mary had something sharp, she could cut a hole in the pumpkin and hide in it for a short while! But did she even have something sharp enough? Mary stole a glance at the umbrella spear. It may be big, but it was all she had right now. Holding it by the base of the umbrella rather than at the very end of the stick, Mary stabbed the pumpkin hard enough that it made a hole as big as her hand. She then moved it upward, cutting into the pumpkin and making a circle shape. Then, when that was done, she kicked the piece of pumpkin inward, making a hole big enough for her to hide in.

“Oh, Juliuuuuuus!” Nora’s loud, maniacal cackle echoed in the air. How could the pepper spray have worn off that quickly? Mary could tell Nora’s voice was getting louder, which meant she was catching up, so she dove right into the hole she made in the pumpkin. Her shoes immediately went damp upon making contact with soft, mushy pumpkin guts. As much as she hated the gooey feeling on her shoes, clothes, and skin, her options were limited. Then again…they might make for good camouflage. Mary steeled herself as she grabbed a huge chunk of pumpkin guts and threw it over herself like it was a blanket. Seeds got caught in her hair as she covered herself with the stringy, mushy substance. Luckily, it was thick enough that it completely covered her from head to toe, her spear included.

She could only pray that this would buy Vic enough time to find Blanca and free her. Gunshots rang out in the distance. Mary’s left hand flew to her ear, and her right hand gripped her umbrella spear in preparation for the inevitable. She didn’t dare try to move, transfixed by the terror of knowing that if Nora found her, she’d kill her on the spot.. Mary didn’t even allow herself to breathe. She shut her eyes tight, so all she saw was darkness. Her body trembled in spite of her attempts to be as still as a mannequin. The only noise she heard was the thundering pounding in her chest.

“Julius! Oh, Julius! Come out, come out, wherever you are!” Nora crooned in a sickeningly sweet sing-songy voice that Mary knew was the kind of tone one used when they were either hiding anger or ready to completely lose it.

Wait a minute…why was she calling for her little brother? Julius wasn’t on the train as far as Mary knew, if what she had seen in Nora’s memories were any indication.

Squelching noises pulled her out of her thoughts. The sound of footsteps against the pumpkin guts. Nora had come inside.

“I know yer hidin’ ‘round here somewhere, Julius! You can’t hide from meeeee!”

Even Nora’s voice no longer sounded like it belonged to her. Mary steeled herself. One wrong move, and she was dead meat.

Don’t move. Don’t move. Don’t move. Don’t move. Don’t move. Mary repeated the command in her head over and over, like it was the only thing keeping her from losing it. Her arms started to go numb.

“You better get out here so I can shoot yer brains out!”

A gunshot rang out right next to Mary. The ground beneath her rattled slightly, and it took everything she had not to physically react, lest she give away her position. But for all she knew, Nora might have already figured it out. Luckily, Mary didn’t feel anything other than the rattling of the pumpkin caused by the gunshot, so she could safely assume she wasn’t hit. The next thing she heard was odd, maniacal cackling. Nora was seemingly laughing at nothing. Mary didn’t dare lift the pumpkin guts to see what Nora was doing, but she could tell from the squelching noises that Nora was still walking around inside the pumpkin.

“It’s always Julius this, Julius that! Nora, you’re the big sister! It’s your job to look after your brother! Nora dear, you can’t go to that concert! Julius can’t be left in the house by himself! Nora dear, you can’t go out and party with your friends! You need to stay home with Julius! You need to stay away from Xander! He’s bad neeeews!”

Nora made a faux soothing voice, imitating how her mother sounded. Like she was trying to coax Mary out from underneath the pumpkin guts pile. But Mary pressed her lips together tightly. She wasn’t going to come out. Nothing Nora could do would convince Mary to reveal herself—

Clink.

What was that noise? Mary snapped her head to her right. Her phone had fallen out of one of the pockets in her backpack, and right on top of the spear. Mary swiftly grabbed her phone and shoved it in her pants pocket, praying to God that Nora didn’t see.

No! Nora must have heard the noise! Mary gripped her umbrella spear tighter, ready to fight if she needed to. Tenuous minutes passed, but nothing happened.

“I know I heard something! Where the hell are you?!” Nora roared. Another pause, then the teenager scoffed. “Wait for Mom and Dad all ya like! Nobody’s comin’ to save you on this train! You can’t worm your way out of your well-deserved punishment this time!!”

Punishment? What was she trying to punish Mary—or Julius—for? Wait a minute…just then, it dawned on Mary. Nora’s eyes were red and bloodshot. She remembered hearing that bloodshot eyes were a sign of extensive drug use. There were even drugs that caused people to hallucinate or mistake someone for somebody else. She had seen Nora snort drugs and drink a lot of beer.

Was Nora…mistaking Mary for Julius in her drug and beer induced delirium?

A brief memory flashed through her mind. One time, she found Reagan watching a movie in the living room. Mary decided to sit with her and watch a little bit of it. The TV was showing a man ranting and raving, supposedly to someone, in front of a crowd of people. But whenever the scene would cut to the crowd, the person the man was talking to wasn’t there. This had left Mary confused.

“Reagan? How come when the crowd shows up, the guy the bald man is yelling at isn’t there?”

“That’s because the bald guy is on drugs, and he’s only imagining the person he’s talking to is there. The other people can't see the guy with the weird hairdo because he isn’t real. The bald guy is hallucinating him.”

“So hallucinate means you see stuff that isn’t there? Is it like playing pretend?”

“Playing pretend is when you know what you’re playing or imagining is fake. If you’re hallucinating, you’re convinced it's real in your mind. The drugs the bald guy took are so strong and potent that they’re messing with his brain, making him think the guy with the hairdo is real when he really isn’t. Earlier in the movie, he thought his wife was his dead grandmother come back to life, even though his grandmother’s been dead for years because he both took hard drugs and drank beer. Those things messed his brain up so much that he doesn’t know what’s real or fake anymore. Until the after effects wear off, that is.”

So that’s what was happening with Nora. She thinks Julius somehow got on the train in an attempt to drag her back home, even though he isn’t here. The combination of both the drugs and the alcohol she drank were not only making her hallucinate Julius when he couldn’t possibly be here, but affecting her ability to think rationally. Mary remembered being made to watch videos in health class about what happens when people drink too much alcohol, such as becoming more aggressive, losing coordination, having an impaired memory, and other things. Nora did look unsteady whenever she walked, and her already volatile temper was even worse.

After being subject to Nora’s violence when she wasn’t drunk, God only knew what would happen in her current state. Mary couldn’t stay here anymore. She needed to leave. She didn’t try to crawl out from underneath the pumpkin guts camouflage, but maybe moving while still underneath it would help. Granted, Nora would still spot her either way, but for all she knew, the pepper spray might still be in effect, and she wasn’t too far from the entrance she made. Mary crawled underneath her camouflage, paying no mind to the seeds and stringy mush intermingling with what was left of her hair, feeling around for the hole she cut in the pumpkin wall.

Just as she saw the light, something hard and metallic pressed against her temple. “Did you really think I wouldn’t notice you moving under there?” Nora sneered.

Mary froze, transfixed by terror once again. She didn’t need to pull the camouflage off to know that Nora was pointing her gun right at her.

“Yer not as clever as you think you are, little fucker! Quit deluding yourself!” Nora bellowed, ripping the camouflage off of Mary like it was nothing before kneeling down to her level. “You think you’re sooooo smart, don’t ya? Like you’re so much better than everyone else just because you’re special or some shit like that!”

A brief pause until Nora yelled again. “Up against the wall!”

Mary sat up, her back against the pumpkin wall, the barrel of Nora’s gun pointed right to her forehead. But she did notice something. Even though Nora had ripped the pumpkin guts off of her, a good portion of it still covered her umbrella spear. It didn’t seem like Nora had noticed it. Mary groped around for her spear, pressing her hand on a mound of pumpkin mush, hopefully making it seem like she was just touching that and not what was underneath. Nora was too focused on Mary to pay much attention to anything else. She had gone completely mad. Her eyes were totally red, and she bore her teeth like a rabid wolf.

“Wanna know something, Julius?” Nora crooned in an almost cutesy babyish voice, like she thought Mary wouldn’t be able to understand what she was talking about. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a looooong time.”

Probably because Xander convinced her to do so. Nora probably wouldn’t have even thought such a thing if she had never even met him. Wait a minute…a light bulb flashed bright in Mary’s mind. If Nora thought Mary was Julius…Her terror turned into determined resolve. If there was one thing Mary liked to do, it was play pretend. During recess at school, she, Caitlin, and Leo did it whenever they had the chance. Only this was going to be a life-or-death game. If she didn’t play her cards right now, she’d have a bullet in her brain. She had seen enough of Nora’s memories to get a good grasp on what Julius was like as a person, and their relationship. Playing into Nora’s delusion might just buy her or Vic more time.

It was now or never.

“Why are you doing this, Nora? I’m your brother!” Mary cried out. “I’m not here to take you back! I just found myself here, like you did!”

“Fucking liar! Don’t you dare fuck with me, ya stupid brat!!” Nora screamed, sending spit flying into Mary’s face. But Mary paid it no heed. “I’m not going back to that damn hellhole! I’m not gonna spend my whole fucking life chained to you, no matter how much Mom and Dad want to keep me in the damn house!!”

“That’s not what they’re trying to do!” Mary yelled. “They just don’t want you hanging out with that Xander guy! He’s bad! He’s trying to turn you into somebody you’re not! He doesn’t love you! He’s just using you! Mom, Dad, and I…we all love you!”

Mary knew she couldn’t exactly speak for Julius. She wasn’t him, so she didn’t really know how he would act if he was in this situation right now. But she did know one thing for sure: He loved his sister, and still did, even with all the horrible things she did, because he knew Xander was turning her into someone their whole family didn’t recognize for his own machinations. All of the actions he displayed when she saw Nora’s memories were proof of that.

“Lies! Lies lies lies! You just want me to be your personal babysitter! If you want somebody to wipe yer drool, feed ya with a spoon, or change yer diapers for the rest of yer life, fine by me! But you don’t get to put me in that box!!”

“That’s not true! Why won’t you just listen?!”

A hard fist flew into Mary’s face, sending her spiraling to the ground. But she was able to press a hand onto the ground so she didn’t fall right on her face, and she still held onto the pumpkin mush camouflaging her spear. It felt like a glass bottle shattered inside her head, and her cheek roared. Mary blinked her brain into place as she felt her cheek sting like hell, but in her brief delirium of shock, didn’t dare try to move.

“No! YOU listen for once!!” Nora roared once again. “My life would’ve been so much better if Mom had aborted you the second she found out you’re autistic! It’s ‘cuz of you that Mom and Dad won't let me leave the house anymore!!”

“I had nothing to do with that!” Mary shot back. Julius had no part in any of that, and he knew it. Mary knew it. Nora had to know this, too.

Paying her response no heed, Nora continued her vitriolic tirade, waving her gun in Mary’s face like it was a toy. “It’s your fault Mom and Dad don’t let me go to concerts or parties! Because heaven forbid we leave you in the house for more than two seconds!”

“No it’s not, Nora! Why don’t you love us anymore?! Why can’t we just spend time together again like we used to?! What you’re doing is wrong!”

Nora’s bloodshot eyes narrowed into odious slits. “It’s high time for the retribution you deserve. All of this?” Nora spread her arms akimbo. “It’s your fault. You should never have been born! Xander was right all along. Pitiful wretches like you need to be erased from this fucking planet! You damn parasites leech off of good working class citizens like us and expect us to spoon feed you everything in the world like the babies we know you are!!”

Is that what she believed? That autistic people are little more than drooling, overgrown babies who can’t do anything for themselves? The terror that once transfixed Mary began to morph into white hot rage. That was exactly what Dana had thought about Mary. That her daughter would either be little more than a bothersome burden who would either never become a functioning adult or turn into a potential criminal in the making, all because of the lies Dr. Goldman, the Autism Speaks videos, and the ABA doctors fed her about what they thought autism was like. Dana tried to make every problem she had out to be Mary’s fault, refusing to believe that not only were her own problems self-inflicted for refusing to seek proper help—or seeking the wrong help, in Dana’s case—but that Mary being autistic ultimately had nothing to do with any of it.

Just like Nora was doing with Julius. Using him as a scapegoat for problems that Nora herself caused. Julius, a kid who just wanted to hang out with his older sister, whom Nora was making out to be some kind of diabolical mastermind. Throwing him under the bus for every crime Nora committed, simply because she didn’t want to take responsibility for her own actions. Willingly throwing away a family that genuinely loved her. For what? Some guy? Because she was bored with her life? Did that really warrant all the wanton destruction and violence she left in her wake? It was all so petty. None of it needed to happen. If Nora had just not gone anywhere near Xander, or even questioned what he was doing, things would have turned out differently. All of this made the rage boiling in Mary’s heart simmer even more.

“All you people do is take, take, take!” Nora bellowed, her features bearing no trace of the girl she had once been. The girl Mary saw in her memories. “You took Mom and Dad away from me the second you were diagnosed! Was this your plan all along?!”

Now that question Mary could not let slide. Her rage finally boiled over. “No! Nobody chooses to be born autistic! Not even me! We don’t just decide to be whatever when we’re in our moms’ bellies! It just happens!” Mary shouted. “I didn’t come into the world to make your life miserable! Why would you even think that?!”

Before Mary could yell even more, Nora grabbed the younger girl by her neck with her free hand, her fingernails digging deep into her skin. Mary tried to wriggle free, but the teenager’s grip was strong, and it wasn’t long before she felt Nora’s fingernails cutting into her neck. It felt just like the way Dana would grip her wrists whenever she would restrain her. It took Mary all she had to hold back tears. Or breathe. All throughout, Nora kept the gun pointed right at Mary’s forehead.

“Oh, what? You gonna cry now?” Nora drawled out her voice in a deliberate mocking, faux hillbilly type voice. She sounded like that red haired bully kid from that one Christmas movie her mom liked. What was it called again? “Go on and cry then! Cry, you damn baby! Cry like the sniveling brat you are!! Crying isn’t gonna make up for all that you’ve done to me! No amount of saying sorry can ever fix all the shit you put me through!”

What did she want Mary or Julius to do? Apologize for being autistic? Like being such was somehow a crime, or even a deliberate choice? Considering Dana thought the same and that Xander fed Nora all those lies, Mary didn’t put it past her. Mary found herself reflecting back on her life. How her mother would always scold her for every little thing, demanding that she apologize, and Mary would often be confused, scared, or frightened, not even sure what she did wrong. But she would always say sorry anyway, because that was what you’re supposed to do when you do something wrong. It may as well have been a survival mechanism. Saying sorry even when she didn’t do anything wrong seemed to prevent more needless scolding…or so she thought. Seeing her memories with the machines Vic used on her made things so much clearer. Her mother was always the one doing things she shouldn’t—dragging her to ABA, forcing her to be more like other kids, deciding that she wanted to sterilize Mary without regard for how she felt about it—and she never once apologized to Mary. It didn’t matter if Mary apologized or not. Mary could apologize for being autistic for the rest of her life, and in Dana’s mind, she was never going to be anything more than damaged goods, living proof that Irene was right in that Dana wasn’t the perfect housewife she wanted her to be.

All of that only led to one question: What right did they have to blame all that on Mary? On autism in general? Autism didn’t put a gun to Dana and Nora’s heads and make their lives hell. Autism didn’t change Mary from a normal kid to something else. Autism didn’t magically turn people into violent monsters. But people like Dana and Nora seemed to want to believe the opposite, even when evidence proved otherwise! All because they didn’t want to acknowledge the real problems that were staring them in the face. What right did they have to decide her worth all based on her being autistic? Like that gave them permission to do whatever they wanted to Mary, with no regard for how she herself felt about it? Mary balled her hands into fists. When was this going to stop?

She finally found the words she could put to what she was feeling for the first time in years.

“I didn’t…put you through…anything…so I have…nothing…to be sorry for,” Mary told her, her voice hoarse yet hard as stone, without a hint of hesitation. Even as Nora’s hand threatened to close her airway, the floodgates had spilled open. This time, Mary was going to say what she wanted to say. “And I’m not…gonna say sorry to you! You wanna…know why?”

Nora didn’t back down, but Mary could see the gun trembling in her hand. Perfect. The time to act was now.

“I am NOT responsible for YOUR problems!!” Mary shouted louder than she ever shouted in her entire life, and by God, did it feel satisfying!

Her reflexes swiftly came to life as she swung the spear right at Nora, complete with the blanket of pumpkin mush covering it. She pulled the bottom of the shaft, and the spear expanded into its circular shield. Chunks of the pumpkin mush blanketed Nora’s face as a result, making her recoil backward. At one point, the gun went off, shooting a hole through the ceiling. Mary’s plan worked! As soon as Nora fell on her rear once again, Mary made a mad dash out of the giant pumpkin, spear in hand.

Mary couldn’t believe everything that she had pulled off actually worked. She was so sure that she’d find herself dead at Nora’s hands multiple times over. Even as she ran, her already tired legs carrying her farther than they ever had previously, her mind was still reeling from all that had happened. She never would have done any of this, or even stood up to someone like Nora, had she stayed at home. Again, her legs began to burn, and her lungs begged for air, so she stopped to put her hand on a person-sized pumpkin and catch her breath. But she knew she couldn’t stop for too long, lest Nora catch up again.

“Maryyyyyy!” A familiar voice shouted in the distance. Mary snapped her head up, looking ahead. Could it be? She saw a clearing about fifteen feet ahead, and a certain rodent was happily jumping up and down from atop another large pumpkin.

“Vic!” Mary smiled as she ran over to the clearing, even with her legs still feeling like jelly.

“I found Blanca!” Vic crawled down the pumpkin and settled next to the plastic bag that had entrapped their friend.

Sure enough, Mary looked down at the plastic bag. There was Blanca, shrunken down to Vic’s size, but completely unharmed. Tears pricked Mary’s eyes as she kneeled down, picked the bag up, and held it close.

“Blanca! You’re okay!” Mary cried, overcome with relief.

“I knew you’d come for me,” Blanca told her. “I’m afraid I’m having trouble getting out of this bag.”

It was easy for Vic and Mary to see why. Normally, they’d be able to just open it up. But as soon as they saw the top of the plastic bag, they saw that wasn’t going to be an option. Staples lined the entrance of the bag, completely sealing it shut.

“I was gonna try unfolding the ends of those staples, but with Nora on our tail, we might not have that kind of time,” Vic said, scratching his ear in his uncertainty.

Mary looked around the clearing, hoping to find something that she could use to cut it open. Nora had left her backpack here, so there had to be something inside. But Mary’s eyes were drawn to the mess instead. Glass beer bottles, discarded plastic bags, needles, and straws completely littered the premises, and there were slight remnants of white powder as well. What that was, Mary didn’t want to know. Mary counted at least six empty bottles of beer, several of which were broken in half.

Broken beer bottles? Mary gasped. Shattered glass could easily cut someone’s skin if they weren’t careful. Even broken bottles were sharp. That’s it! Mary grabbed the top half of one of the bottles and pointed it towards the tip of the bag, just underneath the staples.

“Blanca, I need you to get as far back as you can!” Mary commanded.

Catching on to what she was planning, Blanca flashed an understanding smile and nod before slinking to the bottom of the bag. Mary flattened out the top part of the bag before shoving the jagged edge of the beer bottle into it, moving it back and forth. After some finagling, one of the sharp edges finally cut a hole into it. Mary threw the broken bottle and used both hands to pull on both sides of the hole, making it bigger. Once it was fully open, Blanca wasted no time crawling right out. As soon as she leaped into the air, her body expanded back to its normal size. She was free at last!

“Blancaaaaaa!” Relief washed over Mary once more as she threw herself into the marshmallow’s soft embrace before bawling. Everything that had built up inside Mary since she left to find Blanca came spilling right out. Blanca flashed a warm, relieved smile and rubbed Mary’s back with her arm. “I’m so sorry!!”

“For what, dear?”

“If it hadn’t been for me, Nora wouldn’t have kidnapped you! I tried to save you but I couldn’t!” Mary wailed. “I hate that I can’t just put up with loud noises or not freeze whenever somebody yells! I should have been able to save you right then!”

For all Mary knew, Blanca had every right to chastise Mary for her lack of quick action or sensory sensitivities. Mary internally gave Blanca full permission to do just that, expecting her to yell at her or scold her. In theory, a part of her knew Blanca wasn’t that kind of denizen, but her past experiences with Dana taught her to expect nothing but instant scolding the second she made any kind of mistake. The guilt from having been unable to save Blanca right away already weighed heavy on her.

“Don’t blame yourself, Mary. You did all that you could in the moment,” Blanca’s dulcet voice was sweet against Mary’s ears. “For all you knew, Nora could have easily killed you even if you did manage to save me right then. Anything could have happened. Besides, even after all that she put you through, you still chose to rescue me. You could have easily chosen to just leave me behind, but you didn’t…and I knew you wouldn’t.”

Blanca’s hand gently caressed Mary’s wet, tear-stained cheek. Mary let out another sob. It was the best feeling in the world.

“You did exactly what you set out to do, and I couldn’t be any prouder of you.”

For once, Mary agreed. She set out to save Blanca, and she did, even risking certain death to do so. Who else would go out of their way to help a giant talking marshmallow? No, Blanca was anything but just a talking marshmallow. Blanca had no real obligation to accompany Mary on her train journey, but did so anyway because she was concerned for her safety. Blanca, who offered kind advice and listened to her woes without dismissal or judgment, who helped her accept her flaws and weaknesses without making her feel bad about them or shaming her, who helped her explore her strengths, who embraced her stims and autistic mannerisms and told Mary to do so the same…sweet, kind, motherly, compassionate Blanca. Mary didn’t even dare think what would happen if she had chosen not to save her. Still, right now, waves of pride swelled within her, and for once, it seemed like everything was completely and perfectly right in the world.

Until Vic saw something shining in his peripheral vision.

“LOOK OUT!!”

Another gunshot. Blanca quickly pulled Mary from where she stood, and a bullet zipped past Mary, blowing off her one remaining braid. Nora staggered out from a pumpkin patch, hair askew, eyes red with fury, pointing her gun right at them. She heaved and gasped for breath. She barely noticed the pumpkin seeds that mingled in her hair and stuck to her hoodie.

“I’m…not…done with you!!” Nora growled.

“Just leave us alone!!” Mary screamed. Behind her, Vic leaped on top of Blanca’s head.

“Not until I make sure yer fucking dead!!”

Paying Mary’s command no heed, Nora lunged toward them once more, gun in hand. “RUN!!” Mary yelled, sprinting deeper into the pumpkin patch in a mad dash. Blanca followed suit, keeping pace with Mary so she wouldn’t accidentally leave her behind. With Nora on their tail once more, only one thing was on their minds: They needed to leave this car, and fast.

Mary’s legs continued to throb and burn from the running she already did, but for once, she didn’t care. Adrenaline shot through her like electricity, giving her renewed energy. Gunshots exploded behind the trio, none of them hitting their intended targets, but dangerously close. None of them dared look behind them. All they needed to do was keep running and looking forward. If they hesitated now, Nora would have them dead to rights.

Since Vic was atop Blanca’s head, he turned around to get a better look. Surprisingly enough, Nora, even with her stumbling and unsteady gait, was managing to keep up.

“Damn! Doesn’t she know when to give up?!” Vic exclaimed before looking down at Blanca. “Do you think you can transform into…I dunno, a big bird or something?!”

“I’m…sorry, Vic,” Blanca heaved with every step. “I haven’t quite…recovered enough…energy to do that right off…”

It was understandable, really. Blanca had spent hours trapped in that plastic bag, confined to her shrunken form. She had never experienced being stuck in a confined space for that long, and none of them had any idea when she’d be able to transform into bigger forms. Their chances of survival were already tenuous at best. If Blanca were to force herself to transform when she was physically unable to, it was likely she’d get incapacitated further, and that would sign everyone’s death warrant, for all they knew.

At one point, Nora’s leg got caught in a pumpkin vine, causing her to fall face first on the ground. With a primal growl, she pulled herself up, and when she pulled the trigger yet again, all she heard was a clicking noise. No gunshots. This was their chance! Mary silently motioned for Vic and Blanca to keep running, pointing further into the car. Vic and Blanca nodded in unison, and the three of them continued their mad dash to the exit.

“FUCK!!” Nora pulled her leg out from the root, pulled another cartridge of bullets out of her pocket, and clumsily loaded them into the gun.

“How much farther to the exit?!” Vic yelped.

“I have no clue! This car is big!” Mary shouted back.

With Blanca unable to transform, the trio had to keep running, even with Nora still on their tail. The seconds seemed to both fly right by and slow to a snail’s crawl, if such a thing was possible. The exit had to be here somewhere, but where? How big even was the Pumpkin Car? Dirt flew into the air behind them. Mary’s breath caught in her throat. Nora was still shooting at them! Any closer, and they’d have bullets in their bodies.

“STAY STILL, DAMMIT!!” Nora howled like a madwoman.

Mary had the perfect protection. She yanked her spear out from behind her backpack and opened the shaft once more, the tip expanding into the shield. It was big enough to cover her backside. Bullets bounced off the shield, metal scraping metal in high octaves. It took everything Mary had to hold onto the stick of the spear and make sure it didn’t bounce too much, but so far, the shield was doing a good job of holding off the bullets.

Before long, Vic spotted a flash of red in the distance. “Over there!! I see the exit!!” He announced happily, pointing further into the car, just past two large pumpkins.

Finally, freedom and safety was within reach! Blanca sprinted to the door so fast that she slammed into it by accident. Once she reoriented herself, she threw open the doors, gesturing for Mary to hurry, with Vic doing the same. Mary folded her spear back up and sucked in a big breath before going into a great big jump. She leaped out of the car, landing face first onto the titanium platform outside the car. Blanca attempted to close the doors, but Nora somehow managed to catch up, throwing her free arm out, holding it open. Nora growled and pushed her way through the entrance, even as Blanca and Mary tried to close the door. At one point, Nora slid her gun through the opening and shot at them. Once again, the bullet missed, but the combination of the noise and the flash did stun Mary enough that she squeezed her eyes shut. Nora used this opportunity to barge through the door, pushing past Blanca as she attempted to shoot the girl once more.

Bullets ricocheted off the platform, sending sparks flying, the sound of scraping metal overridden by the train’s wheels below. Mary scrambled to her feet and tried to run ahead, making it to the middle of the gangway. Nora sprang forward in hot pursuit. Blanca attempted to sprout an arm to pull her back, but…it couldn’t reach far enough, only brushing against Nora’s hoodie. With an animalistic roar, Nora pounced on the younger girl like a lion trapping its prey, using her free hand to grab Mary’s ankle. Mary kicked Nora in the face three times, but it wasn’t strong enough to do much in the way of damage.

“Blanca, what’s wrong?!” Vic exclaimed, helpless to do naught but watch as Nora turned Mary face up.

“I don’t know! My arms won’t stretch farther than this!” Blanca demonstrated by stretching her arm at least five feet. Not far enough to reach the two girls fighting on the bridge. “I don’t know how long it’ll be until I can extend my reach again!”

Up ahead, Nora had Mary pinned to the bridge, with her knee on Mary’s stomach and her free hand coiled around her neck once more. It was like going through ABA all over again. But Mary couldn’t give up now. Even as bad memories flooded her brain, she knew she needed to free herself. With Nora still holding the gun in one hand, Mary knew she needed to at least remove the threat. With all the strength she could muster, Mary kicked Nora right in between her legs. The force was weak, but still strong enough that Nora doubled over, unknowingly releasing Mary from her grip. Mary crawled out from underneath her, stood up, and armed herself with her spear. Nora attempted to lunge at her again, but this time, Blanca ran over and trapped Nora in a headlock.

“MOTHERFUCKER!! LEMME GOOOO!!” Nora writhed and screamed under Blanca’s grip, kicking her legs out similar to how she did when the police arrested her for hurting Julius that cold January day.

Before anyone could do anything further, Nora kicked Blanca so hard, the force was enough to make the marshmallow release her. Nora sprinted towards Mary once more. Armed with her umbrella spear, Mary knew she’d have to defend herself, even if it meant hurting Nora, as much as she wanted to avoid that outcome. Then again, inflicting a non-lethal injury could possibly immobilize her. Would that even work? Mary had no time to ruminate on it further. When Nora got close, Mary shut her eyes and thrust her umbrella spear forward…without expanding it. Nora let out a yelp. Mary opened her eyes and saw that the tip of her umbrella spear had gone into Nora’s shoulder, and some blood trickled downward.

“Hehehehe…that didn’t hurt!” Nora cackled before yanking the spear out of her shoulder, a stream of blood cascading down her hoodie. Once she pulled it out, keeping her hand on the bloodied tip, she yanked the spear out of Mary’s arms and threw it over the bridge. Mary knew she’d meet the same fate if she had clung onto the spear, so she just let Nora throw it, knowing that with the teenager’s strength, she could easily have thrown Mary over the bridge as well.

This time, Vic took the initiative. He leaped off of Blanca’s head and onto Nora’s, crawling down her shoulder and arm before stopping at her hand. The hand that held the gun. Right as he reached it, he sunk his teeth deep into the skin of her hand. Nora cried out from the pain, and the gun fell out of her hand, also falling off the bridge and into the Wasteland. Blanca attempted to run past Nora and reach Mary, with the younger girl trying to do the same…but Nora threw Vic towards the marshmallow and grabbed Mary once more. The teenager growled as she slammed the younger girl into the bridge railing.

Then, something unexpected happened. The railing shifted, turning horizontally. It was like the world’s axis shifted around them. The sky was turning sideways. No, it was the two girls that tipped over.

Falling off the gangway and into the Wasteland.

Mary didn’t know why, but she found herself grabbing Nora’s wrist with both hands. Nora’s red eyes were wide like saucers, like she wasn’t really processing the situation. Just like that, Mary’s life flashed before her eyes, in perfect clarity, like how she looked through her own memories using Vic’s machines earlier.

But death’s embrace didn’t come. They stopped in mid-air. Blanca had sprouted both arms, wrapping one around Mary’s waist, and the other around Nora’s arm, the same one Mary gripped. But she didn’t pull them up right away. Or rather, couldn’t.

“Ugh…!” Blanca winced as she retracted her arms as slowly as possible. “Hang on, girls! I got you!”

Here they were, dangling several feet below the bridge, facing certain death. Oddly enough…Mary wasn’t scared. Not for herself, at least. Nora dangled below her, looking up at Mary with an expression she couldn’t quite read, but she didn’t look as unhinged as she did earlier. A new burst of resolve surged within the younger girl.

“Nora! It’s not too late! You can still make things right!” Mary pleaded, clutching Nora’s wrist as tight as she could. “Your family misses you! Your mom, dad, and Julius…they want you back! They love you!! You can’t let things end like this!! You still have a whole life to live!! You can still get off the train!!”

If Nora were to die here on the train, her family would be so devastated. Mary just knew that even after all the things Nora did, and all the things Xander convinced her to do and believe, her family still worried about her. Why would they try to keep Xander away from her if they didn’t? Nora deserved the chance to make things right and live a normal life. As cruel as she had been, she didn’t deserve to go out like this. Surely this had to have gotten through to her, right? Inch by inch, Blanca slowly pulled them closer to the bridge, still unable to pull them up faster since she was still weak from her earlier confinement.

Then…a chuckle slipped past Nora’s lips. Then several more, until she broke into full maniacal laughter, like she wasn’t at death’s door.

“I’m not goin’ back there…I’m not goin’ to jail…I’m not gonna be his slave…I’M GONNA BE FREE DAMMIT!!”

Before anyone could react, as soon as Blanca pulled the two girls to the edge of the gangway, Nora pulled something out of her pocket. Something shaped like grapes. She pressed a button, and the substance sprayed right in the direction of Blanca’s face. The marshmallow let out an anguished cry as she doubled backwards, still clinging onto Mary as she did so, bringing her right back onto the gangway. Right as that happened, Nora kicked Mary in the stomach.

In that moment, Mary’s grip loosened around the teenager’s arm, as did Blanca’s. Nora roared with laughter as she fell backwards, right off the bridge.

“NO!! NORAAAAAA!!” Mary tried to reach outward, but it was too late.

The last thing they heard was “I’M FREEEEEEEE!!”

Metallic wheels wailed. Grotesque squelching and crunching noises overrode Nora’s screams. Mary freed herself from the still reeling Blanca’s grip, leaning over to see what had happened. All she saw was a large, crimson blood stain on the wheel of the previous car. Other than that, there was no trace of Nora anywhere. Her own blood ran cold as the reality of what had transpired settled.

Finally, other than Blanca’s pained groaning from the pepper spray, all was silent. Mary’s eyesight blurred as the adrenaline rush dissipated. Nora was dead. She chose death over a chance to return home and reconcile with her family. Tears trickled down Mary’s cheeks, her chest hurting from the realization that the McDonalds lost a child. Permanently. Nora’s parents would have to live with the fact that their daughter was gone. Julius no longer had a sister. Mary could just picture it in her mind: Nora’s parents and brother hugging each other, bawling in complete, abject despair upon being informed of her death. There was no way they’d be able to recover from something as horrible as losing a member of their family. It was enough to make Mary’s own floodgates burst right open. Mary cried into her hands as she mourned Nora’s short life, the life Nora chose to end.

“Why…? Nora, why?” Mary sobbed, unable to comprehend why Nora would willingly throw her own life away. Was she really so dead set on clinging to the beliefs Xander instilled in her, or her refusal to take accountability for all that she had done, that she’d rather choose death over everything else? Or was this just another middle finger to her family? Mary didn’t know, and at this point, she’d never know.

A robotic voice in the recesses of her mind resurfaced.

“Statistically you’re more likely to fall off the train and die alone.”

That was exactly what had happened to Nora, only she fell off the train willingly.

“Blanca? You okay?” Mary heard Vic’s concerned voice behind her.

“I’m fine now. Thank you,” Blanca told him reassuringly, the pepper spray substance in her eyes having finally worn off. By now, the two of them saw Mary crying at the edge of the bridge.

“Nora…she’s gone…she…” Mary whimpered.

“I know, Mary,” Blanca hobbled next to her. “If my energy had returned sooner, I might have been able to save her. But even if I had, Nora might still have rejected our help. There’s no changing what happened.”

There was no denying that. Nora rejected any and all chances to make things better for herself, all in pursuit of something that wound up being what did her in. Anything could have happened. There was nothing Mary could do to change Nora’s mind. Nothing the trio could have done. Mary’s whole body was shaking. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. Nora should have returned to her family.

“Her parents…Julius…they’re gonna be so sad…they’ll never see her again.”

Vic crawled up Mary’s back and settled on her shoulder. “It’s tragic.”

Tragic didn’t even begin to convey just how horrible this whole situation was. Nora didn’t even need to go this far. All she had to do was admit to all she had done, stayed away from Xander, apologized to her family, and stopped with the drinking and drugs. What was this all even for? After this, a whole family would likely fall apart. More than that, they’d likely never believe the truth behind what happened. There was no way they’d believe that Nora got whisked onto a magical train and threw herself off of said train. Would her body, or even what remained of her, even be sent back to Earth? For all she knew, the McDonalds might never get any real closure.

Only Mary would know the horrible truth…and she might never be able to come clean about any of it.

“Mary. You’re not responsible for Nora’s decisions and actions,” Blanca reminded her gently.

“I know, Blanca. I know,” Mary whispered.

With that, Blanca escorted Vic and Mary off the bridge and onto the platform of the next car. They all sat down in silence, taking everything all in. Mary curled into herself and began rocking back and forth. It did nothing to push what she had witnessed out of her brain, but it did alleviate her nerves. She didn’t know how long she rocked, but she did so until she was too tired to rock anymore. Vic and Blanca gave her space, refraining from touching her or talking to her. Once she finished, she looked up at the gray and orange clouds overlooking the Wasteland.

“You okay, Mary?” Vic asked, scuttling over to put a gentle paw on her shoe.

Mary sniffed and flashed a wet smile at him. “Not really, and…that’s okay.”

She slowly stood up and turned her head to the left, watching the vast Wasteland. Just looking at it made her own problems seem so miniscule. She wondered if it was as big as the universe.

“If I hadn’t run away from home…if I hadn’t seen Mom’s blog…I would never have come here and learned the truth of it all,” Mary said, her voice almost wistful. “My whole life, I’ve been told that I’m broken. Useless. Damaged. Worthless…and by people who should have protected me, supported me, loved me…or don’t even know me at all. Even Nora. Just because I came out the way I did…and I believed all the things they said about me.”

Mary balled her hands into fists. “They made all these decisions for me. Believed all these ideas about me and autism in general. Never once asking how I’d feel about it. Mom actually thought I’d be okay with her taking me to a doctor so they could cut me up and make it so that I can’t have babies?!” Mary shook her head. “I don’t want them doing that to me! I can’t believe it took me this long to finally realize just how…stupid it all is. I didn’t make them do anything, so what right do they have to claim that me being autistic is the problem and do all this stuff to me?”

Blanca hobbled over and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You were never the problem.”

“I realize that now,” Mary mused. “And I only ever realized it thanks to you two. I…I’m glad I got on the train,” She looked down at her palm. It was back to being a four. She smiled, a more confident smile this time. “I don’t know how my life is gonna be from now on, but…I don’t want to be ashamed of who I am anymore.”

“It’s okay to not be okay. Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows even on the best days,” Vic reassured her.

“There will come a day where you can be proud of who you are, Mary,” Blanca chimed in, smiling warmly. “You can’t please everyone, but what matters is that you like yourself, no matter what the world may think.”

Mary nodded. “You’re right. There’s only one me,” She said, taking a minute to look out at the vast Wasteland once again. “In the grand scheme of things…I’m Mary Summers. I’m autistic. I’m only responsible for my own decisions and actions, nobody else’s. I’m not perfect, and…that’s okay.”

In that moment, a bright green flash illuminated the immediate area. Mary’s palm glowed brighter than it ever had before, her number cycling for a solid few seconds until it stopped.

Zero.

A glowing green line materialized in mid-air, right in front of Mary. Two more followed, resembling the doors to the cars. Two semicircles appeared on both sides of the middle line before they turned like a handle, flashing white before dissipating into a yellow, swirling vortex, with an image of a jungle gym in the middle.

The same jungle gym Mary was in before she saw the train.

“I can go home now…?” It almost didn’t feel real. She had been on the train for a month and a half, and now she had the chance to go home. She could see her father, sister, friends, and teachers again! She took two steps forward, stopping in her tracks when she realized something important.

“I…I don’t wanna leave!” Mary cried before running back to Blanca and hugging her. “You guys are the best friends I’ve ever had! If I leave I’ll never see you again!” Fresh tears sprung forth as the girl came to the realization that she’d be leaving the train forever. Leaving the denizens who stood by her behind. Knowing this would be the last time they saw each other was almost too much to bear. She wasn’t ready to leave. Not yet.

Blanca simply smiled and wrapped her arms around Mary in a warm embrace. Since Vic was so small, he simply nuzzled against Mary’s cheek.

“I know saying goodbye is painful,” Blanca whispered in her dulcet voice. “But we will never forget you for as long as we live. The time we spent together and the memories we made will always be with us.”

Even Vic couldn’t help but get emotional as he nuzzled against Mary’s cheek. “I’ll miss you so much, Mary. We both will. We’re beyond proud to be your friends.”

He didn’t have to tell her twice. Still, Mary wished there was something she could do for them. Just one more thing to thank them for sticking by her all this time. It didn’t feel right just saying goodbye and leaving them. Then it hit her. She knew exactly what she could do. She gently put Vic down on the ground and broke away from Blanca’s hug so she could get her backpack. She zipped it open and pulled Mimi out…handing her to Blanca.

“Blanca…I want you to have Mimi,” Mary insisted, holding the plushie out for Blanca to take. “Maybe, if some other kid comes through the Sweets Car and needs help, you can have Mimi cheer them up.”

The marshmallow gave a tearful sniff before cradling the plush bunny in her arms. “Sounds like a wonderful idea. I’ll take good care of her.”

Mary smiled at Mimi and gently tapped her nose with the tip of her index finger. “Goodbye, Mimi. Thank you for being my friend all this time.”

Once that was done, she kneeled down to Vic’s level before digging through her bag and pulling out her abridged copy of A Little Princess . “I know this isn’t much, but I want you to have this. It’s my favorite book. You probably have a big kid version already, but—”

Vic shook his head, cutting her off. “I don’t care. I’ll treasure this forever!” He exclaimed with conviction, taking the book without hesitation. “But…I guess this is goodbye.”

Mary held her arms out. “One more hug?”

How could they possibly refuse? Mary and Blanca embraced each other one last time, with Vic doing the same, crawling up Mary’s leg and settling onto her shoulder so he could hug them both, small as he was. The two of them stood there in their embrace for several solid minutes, wanting this hug to last. Mary took in Blanca’s soft, sweet vanilla scent and the feel of Vic’s fur against her skin. She wanted all the senses she had to know her friends so well that they’d remember them even if her mind eventually forgot.

“Thank you both so much…for all you’ve done for me,” Mary’s voice shook as she murmured her final goodbye to her dearest friends.

But she knew she couldn’t put it off any longer. She had worried her family and friends long enough. Mary threw her backpack over her back and waved to her friends one last time.

“Goodbye, Vic and Blanca. Take care of yourselves,” Mary squeaked.

Vic sniffed before jumping back down to the ground, waving. “Goodbye, Mary! You take care, too!”

“Farewell, Mary. May your future be a fruitful and happy one.”

Mary shed more tears, this time with a smile, as she turned around and allowed the vortex to swallow her whole. She dissolved into the light before the exit flashed, disappearing completely.

With that, Vic and Blanca were all alone.

“Blanca?”

“Hm?”

“Can I…move in with you?” Vic stammered shyly.

Knowing he wasn’t exactly welcome in his own car, Blanca sprouted an arm, beckoning for him to get on. “Of course you can. I’d love to have you.”

Now that Mary was gone, the two of them made their way back through the train, content with the knowledge that their friend was back where she belonged, resolving to remember her as long as time would allow.

Chapter Text

“Awww, Reg! You whooped my ass!”

“Tough nuts, Oliver! You just need to get good!”

“Dibs on the next match!”

Todd smiled as he listened to his daughter, her boyfriend, and her newest friend Lianna play video games in the living room. Something called Street Fighter, he didn’t know which iteration. He wasn’t quite up to date with modern video game culture. It had been so long since he heard genuine laughter in the house, it felt completely alien. But he was happy to see Reagan slowly coming back to her old self again. She really needed the distraction. Todd was in the den at the computer, finishing up one last payment through his bank. As soon as he clicked the pay button, he breathed a sigh of relief, his shoulders slouching as he did so.

“Phew! With that, no more debt!” Todd pumped his fists into the air. The Summers had been saddled with debt, a lot of which was from Dana squandering money to pay snake oil therapies in futile attempts to cure Mary. The money he received from suing Dr. Goldman years ago wasn’t anywhere near enough to pay it all off, only half of it. Now, the family no longer had to worry about debt ever again. One less thing to worry about amidst all the discord that had been brewing since Mary’s disappearance. There was still so much to do, but for now, seeing the children have fun was proving to be the best oasis he could ask for, even if he knew it was going to be short.

Now that he got this done, Todd made his way into the living room. Lianna was on the couch with Oliver, and the two of them were transfixed on the video game. Pixelated martial arts fighters punched and kicked each other across the screen, with detailed animations that honestly left Todd in awe. It was amazing how far video games and their graphics had come. They weren’t anything like this when Todd was younger. Reagan watched from the side, sitting in a chair as she looked through a thick binder.

“I’m gonna order a pizza for dinner tonight,” Todd informed them. “Do you guys want anything specific?”

Oliver pressed a button, pausing the game before speaking. “I’m cool with just plain cheese or pepperoni.”

Lianna brushed some red hair out of her face before she answered. “I don’t like pepperoni so plain cheese is fine.”

“Same here,” Reagan chimed in.

So plain cheese pizza won out. Todd went back to the den, picked up the phone, and put in an order for two boxes of pizza, with one box being all cheese, and the other being half cheese, half pepperoni for Oliver and himself. The pizza shop worker on the other line told him it would be ready within 45 minutes. He had ordered from them several times before, and they were usually very quick about getting their orders out, something he always appreciated. He was sure if Mary were here, she’d be happy about the prospect of having pizza for dinner. It was so easy to picture in his mind: Mary hearing the word pizza and bouncing all over the house in her excitement, flapping her hands joyfully. Come to think of it, he had initially planned on ordering pizza for the whole family the weekend Mary had disappeared.

Todd gave a light sniff. The Summers house still felt hopelessly empty without Mary. No new leads had come up in Mary’s disappearance, and at one point, when he was coming home from work, the missing posters he once put up were either removed or covered up with other things. He made a mental note to put up some more when he had some time tomorrow. There was still a short pile of them at the corner of his desk. Mary had to be out there somewhere. He couldn’t bring himself to give up.

“Ooof! Jeez, Lianna. You’re good at this!” Oliver exclaimed, having been soundly beaten yet again.

Lianna raised the wireless game controller upward, relishing her victory with a smug grin. “Got that right! Up for another round?”

Oliver shook his head, conceding defeat. “I think I’m done for now.”

Reagan leaned over to pick up the TV remote. “Wanna put on a movie or something while we wait? I found a super obscure one on Tubi,” She suggested.

“Oooh, I’m game!” Lianna agreed first, with Oliver following suit with a quiet nod.

As happy as Todd was to see Reagan smiling again, it felt…criminal to not have Mary here joining in their fun. But he didn’t have time to dwell on these things. There was still a lot to do, especially now that Dana had left. For one thing, he hadn’t done his laundry yet. Might as well do it now while they were waiting for the pizza. But Todd only made it to the top of the basement stairs before hard knocks at the door stopped him in his tracks.

“Is that the pizza guy?” Oliver asked out loud, perplexed.

“I thought it wasn’t supposed to be here for another 45 minutes,” Reagan said.

“I’ll get it!” Todd cried out as he ran to the front door under the assumption that it was the pizza delivery person.

He opened the door, and to his surprise, there was no pizza delivery man at the door. Instead, two police officers in full uniform, a man and a woman, stood at the entrance with beaming smiles on their faces. But a splash of color in Todd’s peripheral vision made him look down. The male officer was holding something—someone—in his arms. A child. Night’s darkness had consumed a good portion of the sky, leaving some stray orange streaks behind in its wake, but since he had the outside light on, he was able to make out the child’s features perfectly. A pink dress. A short sleeved white shirt. Purple pants. Flower printed sneakers. A cursory bandage wrapped around one of her arms. Short, chin-length black hair, with some stray pumpkin seeds caught in some strands.

Could it be…? Dare he hope?

“...Mary?” His voice was weak, almost timid, as he squeaked out his daughter’s name.

Within seconds, the sleeping bundle stirred. The girl groggily opened her eyes. They were as blue as the summer sky. The same blue eyes he saw when she was first born. She looked up…and as soon as she saw who was looking over her, she flashed a smile.

“Daddy?”

It was a voice he had longed to hear for so long. One he could recognize anywhere. That was all it took for the floodgates to open. “MARY!!” With a wail, Todd threw his arms around his tired daughter, pulling her into the tightest embrace he could muster, right out of the officer’s arms. Mary was back! She had come home! She was safe and sound! It was as though a planet-sized weight had been lifted off of his shoulders in that very moment. Mary was back in his arms, and as far as Todd was concerned, it was the best feeling in the world. He fell to his knees, holding Mary close, bawling into her shoulder.

“Thank God…thank God you’re okay!!” Todd cried like he had never cried before in his life.

“Mary?!” As soon as she heard her sister’s name, Reagan ran right over to the entrance. The older girl’s hands flew to her mouth as she processed the scene transpiring in front of her…along with who her father was hugging. It took no time at all for the tears of joy to flow. Reagan hobbled over to Mary, fell to her knees, and hugged both her younger sister and father, bawling Mary’s name as she joined in their reunification.

“Mary…!! You’re back!!” Reagan cried, unable to contain her overflowing relief. “My God…we missed you so much!!”

Finally, after all this time, the missing piece of their family was back, making the Summers whole again. Mary closed her eyes and reveled in her family’s combined embrace, even if their loud crying hurt her ears. She ran one hand through her father’s hair, and another through Reagan’s. Oh, how she had missed her father and sister so! Her nose caught the scent of lingering shaving cream on her father’s skin, along with detergent from Reagan’s sweater. More than that, she had missed their warm hugs. Mary was home again, at long last. The world was back on its axis.

“I’m sorry…for making you worry…” Mary squeaked.

Todd shook his head. “You have nothing to apologize for!” He warbled through his tears. “Mary…my sweet girl…I’m never letting you go again!”

Mary just knew that he meant it with his whole heart. He always kept his promises, or even if he didn’t, he at least tried to.

“We found her down by Cascade just a few minutes ago,” The female police officer told them. “We’ll need to take her to the hospital right after this, as she has some injuries that require treatment.”

Mary knew she was referring to both the gunshot wound on her arm and the injuries Nora left on her face. Only now did she really feel her face throbbing, probably from Nora both punching her and bashing her head against the ground earlier. They probably wanted to check to see if she sustained any brain damage or skull injuries.

As soon as the officer mentioned it, Todd suddenly stood up, still carrying Mary in his arms. “Can we at least come with you?” Todd asked, his voice adopting an almost pleading tone, like a child begging his parents not to leave. “Mary’s never gone through something like this before, and she gets anxious in new situations, so I want to at least be there so I can prepare her for what’ll happen next.”

The male officer crossed his arms. “Sure. We can escort you.”

“Do you need us to come, too?” Oliver asked, with Lianna following behind him.

It occurred to Todd right then: If Reagan went with him, Oliver and Lianna would be left all alone in the Summers house. Plus, they already had a pizza on the way. Someone would need to remain here to get the pizza. As much as it pained him to do so, he knew what he had to do.

“Reagan? I want you to stay here for now,” Todd told her. “I don’t know how long we’ll be at the hospital, and I don’t want to leave your friends here by themselves.”

Reagan was about to protest, standing up as she attempted to do so, but she looked down at Mary, who was still smiling at her. “It’s okay, Reagan. I won’t be going anywhere after this,” Mary was quick to reassure her.

Catching on to what Mary was talking about, Reagan took in a deep breath before speaking. “Alright. I’ll hold down the fort,” She smiled as she gave Mary one last hug. “I’m so glad you’re safe, Mary. We have sooooo much to talk about when you get back!”

As far as the Summers were concerned, that was the understatement of the millennium. But one thing was on Mary’s mind: How was she going to explain her having gone missing? On the ride to the hospital, Mary’s mind went to work as she conjured a story.

Mary was taken to the hospital as promised. After being examined by some doctors (Who thankfully were respectful of her being autistic and her sensory issues), the graze on her arm was properly cleaned and bandaged, and although she had bruises on her face, she sustained no broken bones. Some detectives did stop by to ask Mary about what had happened. By that time, Mary planned out the story she planned to tell. She hated the idea of lying to them, but she couldn’t exactly mention she was whisked onto a magic train. This was what Mary told them: She ran away from home after she learned about her mother’s blog and what Dana planned to do with her. She found herself running deep into the woods, and at one point, she ran into Nora, who escorted her to the wooden hut she lived in. At first, the two of them got along, but the more Mary got to know her, the more she realized Nora was dangerous to be around. Mary made the mistake of mentioning she was autistic, and that was when Nora went berserk. Nora tried to kill Mary, but the younger girl escaped, though not before getting punched several times and almost getting shot. Mary ran through the woods, unsure of where she was going, but she couldn’t afford to stop as for all she knew, Nora was on her tail.

After taking Mary’s testimony, the police and detectives cleared Mary to return home, as did the hospital, and proceeded to close her missing person’s case. But they did ask her about Nora, since they were surprised that two missing people had encountered one another. Mary told them as much as she could about Nora and all that she had told her, from Xander’s toxic views to everything she did to her family. In the days that followed, further investigation into Nora’s whereabouts intensified. Xander had been arrested a week prior to Mary’s return on an earlier offense, and he reluctantly confirmed the hut’s existence, telling the police where it was, but insisted he had no part in what happened to her after that. When the police searched the scene, they made a gruesome discovery. Several feet from the hut was Nora’s mangled, dismembered body. When Mary watched the news report confirming Nora’s discovery that morning, she was equal parts sad and relieved. Sad that Nora’s family would have to live with the reality that their daughter was dead, and in such bad shape at that, never knowing the full truth behind why she died, and relieved that the train at least returned her back to the real world, so her family could give her a funeral and burial.

The investigation was under some degree of scrutiny, because several details behind Mary’s story didn’t line up with the evidence, which Mary knew would happen. For one, there weren’t any child’s footprints in the woods, only Nora’s, and they didn’t find any bullet casings in the immediate area. The hut was far away from the area where Mary was found, and it was impossible for two kids to have traversed there on foot without being spotted. Furthermore, nobody could tell how Nora truly died. Her injuries were consistent with getting run over by a train, but she wasn’t anywhere near a train station. Getting mauled by animals was another potential suggestion, but Nora had no bite marks, and the injuries she sustained weren’t consistent with a mauling. But since nobody could actually prove otherwise, and since Mary knew details about the hut that she couldn’t have known otherwise, the police decided to just close both cases, figuring it’d be better to just give both families closure rather than worry about the details, since both girls were found. Xander had no direct responsibility for Nora’s death, as there was no evidence tying him to it, but he was arrested and charged for both his assault on the convenience store employee and other offenses, such as unauthorized possession of a firearm and the various vandalisms he and his neo-Nazi cohorts committed. The latter wasn't because of Mary's testimony, as there was no hard evidence of her being witness to any of his previous crimes and Nora telling her about them wasn't provable due to her death, but because of other witnesses and one of Xander's cohorts confessing to everything, including Nora's involvement in the vandalisms, as part of a plea deal.

The days following Mary’s return were an overwhelming whirlwind. Various news outlets tried to interview Mary and ask her about her experiences with Nora, even offering to put her on TV, but Todd was able to convince them to back off and respect her privacy. Not only that, Mary had to get integrated back into school, and since she had missed so much of it, she was far behind on the material. But she was welcomed back with open arms by both friends and teachers alike.

“Mary!! We’re so glad you’re back!!” Caitlin in particular nearly suffocated Mary with how tightly she hugged her.

Leo had broken down in tears, just as much as Reagan and Todd did, when he saw Mary walk through the classroom door. “Mi amigo!! Everyone said you might have died, but I didn’t believe it for a second!!” Leo wailed before he reverted back to his native Spanish, saying things Mary didn’t quite understand. But she could tell all of it involved his sheer relief in seeing her safe and sound.

Most surprising of all, even Greg was happy to see her, though he was much less up front about it. During recess, he had approached Mary and shyly handed her a drawing he made. “Here. A gift, and…I’m sorry for all the times I was mean to you. Never gonna happen again.”

He had run off in embarrassment before Mary could process what had just happened. When she looked down at what Greg had given her, a smile broke across her face. It was a detailed drawing of a flying unicorn, with a smiling rabbit riding its back. The rabbit bore an uncanny resemblance to Mimi. She couldn’t help but wonder just what had made Greg change so much. The Greg she knew never apologized or admitted to any wrongdoing. Still, her heart warmed at the kind gift, and later in the day, she whispered thanks to him.

When the last bell rang, Mr. Bryant pulled Mary aside for a brief moment. “I’m so relieved to see you back safe and sound. Everyone was worried about you.”

“Really?”

Mr. Bryant nodded. “Really. Since you missed so much school, there’s a lot of work you’ll need to catch up on. I was thinking of talking to your Dad and having you stay after school with me a few times a week to give you some extra lessons,” He said. “I’ve been assisting some other kids too, so I figured it might help you. But only if you want to, though. Feel free to give it some thought.”

Mary didn’t need to give it much thought. She simply smiled and said, “I’ll tell Dad about it and see what he thinks.”

Mr. Bryant flashed his big, boisterous smile and extended a fist out to Mary. “Welcome back, Mary.”

Knowing what he wanted, Mary smiled back and bumped his fist.

But even among the chaos of trying to get back to normal, Mary noticed a certain someone was conspicuously absent. One Saturday morning, she had woken up early, just like she had the day she ran away from home. The sky outside was completely still, a deep blue, with some vivid streaks of pink and orange behind the trees. The trees were still bare and skeletal-looking, which made it easier to see some straggling stars. Mary glanced at her clock. It was 6:34 AM. Fairly early, and since it was a weekend, Mary didn’t need to worry about getting ready for school. Figuring it’d be pointless to go back to sleep, she decided to head downstairs and eat a banana. On cue, her stomach rumbled as if begging for a meal right this instant.

Right as she got to the bottom of the stairs and turned the corner, she caught sight of someone standing in front of the sink. So she wasn’t alone. But she recognized her father’s dark green robe and blue pajama pants. He turned around as soon as he heard Mary’s light footsteps.

“You’re up early,” Todd flashed a warm grin.

Once she processed her father’s presence, she walked right towards the counter to grab a banana. “Morning, Dad. Don’t you have work today?”

Todd shook his head. “I’m gonna take the day off. I have some PTO I need to use before the end of the year anyway.”

“What’s PTO?”

“Paid time off.”

Mary’s eyes shot up. “You can get paid for taking days off? That sounds nice.”

“I can’t do it all the time, but it’ll just be for today,” Todd ruffled Mary’s hair with his large, bulky hand. “We still have a lot of catching up to do, after all.”

Both father and daughter chuckled, keeping their voices low so they wouldn’t wake Reagan upstairs. He was right in that they had a lot to catch up on. Both for the happy things and the sad things. When was the last time she woke up early and talked to her father alone like this? She couldn’t remember anymore. One thing was for sure: A question kept nagging at her mind, and she couldn’t keep it in any longer. Two words spilled out of her before she could think to stop them.

“Where’s Mom?”

In an instant, Todd’s shoulders drooped, and his whole posture deflated as he contemplated what to tell her. He ran a hand through his hair, and she could see the anxiety laced across his features.

“Your mother, well…she…she left…” Todd finally sputtered out. “She moved out and is living somewhere else. We were talking and we thought it’d be best to take time off from each other for a while, what with all that’s happened.”

Mary could tell her father was trying to soften the blow. She wasn’t sure why he even bothered, since he knew how much Dana hated her. She had seen how explosive their arguments and fights were, more so through Solongo’s crystal ball.

“You don’t need to make it sound nice, Dad,” Mary’s eyes glazed over with resignation. “I know Mom left because she hates me. I know the truth.”

Just hearing that sentence was enough to make Todd crumple. Tears trickled down his face as he kneeled down and pulled his daughter into a hug.

“Oh, Mary…” Todd murmured, running a hand through Mary’s hair. “You shouldn’t have to deal with all this. You never should have had to go through all this…”

Mary shook her head. “It’s okay, Dad. You can tell me the truth,” She told him.

After a brief minute, Todd wiped away his tears, but still held onto Mary. “Your mother did leave. I won’t lie, she needs to work on herself. A lot,” He explained. “She went through some bad things in her childhood that played a big part in how she treated you. It in no way excuses everything she did to you, and I made sure to tell her that. She needs help. A lot of help. But she has to acknowledge she has a problem and how her actions have affected you.”

Nothing Mary didn’t already know, but she appreciated her father being honest with her.

“Your mother blamed you for a lot of things when she shouldn’t have. None of what she did to you has ever been your fault, no matter how much she tries to convince you or herself or anyone else otherwise. You didn’t drive her away. Your mother made the choice to leave. You know that, right?”

Mary’s only response was a brief, affirmative hum.

“I don’t know if we’ll ever see her again,” It was here that Todd let go of Mary, but kept both hands on her forearms as he looked right at her. “But I want you to know that no matter what happens, we’ll get through this together. You, me, and Reagan, as a family. We’ll always have your back and be there for you, even if things get tough. I’m sad and angry that Dana and I couldn’t work things out—”

In that instant, Mary cut him off. “Oh, I’m not sad that Mom’s gone,” She chimed in. “In fact, a part of me is happy she left. That means she’ll never yell at me over every little thing ever again. No more her telling me to act normal, no more getting yelled at for flapping my hands or rocking or covering my ears, no more hearing her complain about how I embarrass her and cause her trouble all the time, no more worrying that I might make her mad if I do just about anything, no more taking me to creepy doctors…I don’t have to spend every day feeling scared and guilty all the time now!”

Saying everything out loud seemed to make it feel more real. Dana was no longer here. From now on, Mary would be free to live her life however she wanted, within reason since she was still young. To say she was relieved to not have to deal with her mother lording over her every minute of every day over every little thing anymore was the understatement of the millennium. She had long dreamed of days where she didn’t have to put up with her mother screaming about everything under the sun, guilt-tripping her over some perceived slight or making a huge deal out of something insignificant. Quiet, halcyon days awaited her, and Mary couldn’t wait to finally live a life where she could actually relax.

And yet…

“But…I’m also mad,” Mary murmured, balling her hands into fists. “There’s so much I want to yell at her about that I’ll never be able to,” Her body began to tremble as the anger that had simmered inside her began to spill out. “I want so badly to tell her…”

Her mind began playing warnings. Don’t scream. You’ll wake Reagan up. But at this point, she ignored them. She was sick and tired of not being able to say what she wanted to say. Now that Dana was gone, Mary would no longer be restrained by the rules that she was made to live by before. She didn’t know when would even be appropriate to let loose. She didn’t care anymore. If she woke Reagan up, then so be it. She was done holding back all that she wanted to say for so long.

“...HOW MUCH I HATE HER!!” Mary buried her face in her father’s robe, the fabric muffling her screams. Knowing how much she needed this, Todd held her close once more. He proceeded to rub her back with one hand, as if giving her permission to go on.

“She actually wanted to have a doctor cut me up and make it so that I can’t have babies!! I don’t want her doing that to me!! I don’t ever want to be ster-lized!!” Mary bawled, clutching the fabric of her father’s robe as if it were a lifeline. “I don’t even want kids!! Why would she think doing that to me is a good idea?! Knowing her, even if I told her no, she’d probably still make me go through it anyway!!”

The tears returned once more for the both of them. As much as it pained Todd to hear his daughter say all this, he couldn’t say anything in response, because it was all true. Telling her otherwise would be akin to invalidating all the trauma she was made to endure.

“Mom put me through so much pain…so many years of my life that I can never get back, working harder than anybody else just to hear her say she’s proud of me and that she loves me…and she never did!” Mary sobbed. Her legs buckled and she fell to her knees. “Everything I did, what she made me do, was all for her, because she said so! But what about me? She never asked me how I felt about any of it! Even if I did tell her, she’d probably tell me I’m just being a brat! I wish I could tell her that I never held a gun to her head and made her life miserable just by being autistic!! I wish I could tell her that she shouldn’t have made that blog, told people on the internet all those lies she made up about me, or said stuff about me that nobody’s supposed to know!!”

All throughout her rant, Todd simply listened, letting her cry and howl as he held her. Gradually, her sobs died down.

“...But she won’t even let me have that,” Mary whimpered. She wished she could just forget everything. Forget all the pain, the hatred, the sorrow, forget Dana. Leave Dana to her misery. Leave all the blame with her. But Mary knew deep in her heart that the scars her mother left would probably never heal. Not completely. Ironically, with her mother gone, the chains that had once held her down had corroded and weakened. She had broken free enough that she could finally say all that she had wanted to say, even if the person she wanted to yell at was no longer here.

Once again, her father pulled her close. “Mary…I know your mother chose to blame you for a lot of things, and I’m ashamed that I never realized what she put you through sooner. She never should have put you through ABA, or treated you the way she did,” Todd whispered as he ran a hand through her hair once more. “Your mother couldn’t see the kind, sweet, important person that you are. That’s on her, not you.”

There was love and fondness front and center in his voice, all for Mary. Bitter resentment at the edges where his timbre shakes, for Dana.

“I know it’s hard to see right now, but there is a silver lining in all this: You don’t have to do anything for her approval anymore,” Todd reminded her. “I’ll be brutally honest, with all that Dana put you through, you’re not going to be able to get over everything today. Or this week. Or even this year. You’ll need a lot of help to process everything you’re feeling and all that you endured. We all need help to deal with all that’s happened. But please know that Reagan and I will be there with you, and we’ll do whatever we can to help you. We can’t take the hurt away, and there’s still a lot we need to do, a lot of which I don’t have all the answers for, but…this time, things will be different.”

Mary knew he meant every word he said, so she had no doubt that he’d go through with all of it. Her father’s rough, bulky fingers, gentle as they are, tucked strands of her now short hair behind her ear. Oh, how she missed that sensation so! She found herself looking forward to the days to come, now without Dana screaming and raving about whatever she felt like making a problem out of.

Wait…

“There’s something I wanna check,” Mary pulled herself out from her father’s arms and zipped into the den. She got onto the computer and began typing. Was it still up? She typed the name of her mother’s blog into the search engine, and sure enough, the webpage was still active.

Better yet, her mother hadn’t logged out of it.

“Dad?”

“Yes, Mary?” Todd walked into the den, coming up behind her.

“There is one thing I want to do. Together with you,” Mary pointed to the blog with a steely look on her face. “Can we delete the blog?”

A Mother’s Fight Against Autism. The very blog that had caused so much pain and hardship. Mary didn’t know much about how websites worked, but one thing she did know was that if someone created a website and was still logged in, they had full administrative access and could keep the website up or delete it at will. Not only that, Dana had set it up so that the site would automatically log her in every time she opened the webpage. Thank God for auto login settings. Upon looking through the account settings, there was, in fact, a button that allowed for the complete and total deletion of the blog. With this, all the lies that Dana perpetuated about Mary would be gone forever. Sure, there was still the possibility that someone might have archived the blog somewhere, but at the very least, the real thing would no longer be used by unscrupulous people to take advantage of Mary.

A smile cracked across Todd’s face, as did Mary. “You know what? Let’s do it. Together.”

Mary’s blue eyes sparkled with joy as soon as she heard his answer. Todd invited Mary to sit on his lap, with Mary’s hand resting atop the computer mouse. Todd covered his daughter’s small, warm hand with his own as they made the cursor hover over the delete button.

“You ready, Bunny?”

“Sure am.”

“One…two…three.”

Click.

Just like that, A Mother’s Fight Against Autism was no more.

All that remained was a 404 error message against a pure white screen.

Six Years Later…

“Wow, ten reviews on my Jack Jeanne fan fic already? I didn’t think it’d get that much in one day.”

Fifteen-year-old Mary Summers sat at her computer, checking her email and seeing that she received ten notifications. All of which were reviews for a story she wrote for a video game she had recently gotten into. It was a bright, sunny spring weekend, not a single cloud in the sky. The trees outside her house were a vivid green, with some adorning clouds of lush pink magnolia blossoms. The clock on her shelf read 9:30 AM. She still had an hour or so before it was time to go to the park, but she had long since gotten dressed and got all her things together. Better to be early than late, that was her creed. She figured she could use this extra hour to check her email and do some internet surfing. Maybe watch an anime or two.

But there were times when she thought back to that month she spent on that mysterious train. She glanced over at two particular plush dolls she had accumulated. One was a marshmallow that might have been the same size as Mimi, with two, black dot eyes and a line forming a smile. The other was an orange and white hamster with a single tuft of yellow hair on its head, wearing a proud expression. The marshmallow she found at a store once when she was twelve, the other stuffed animal one of Lianna’s friends made specifically for her one Christmas. Mary smiled, hoping that Blanca and Vic were doing well.

The years since her return were a whirlwind, full of all sorts of ups, downs, and changes that she never would have expected. For one, Todd arranged for her to see a therapist to help her cope with all of said changes—thankfully, not an ABA therapist. At first, Mary was apprehensive of the idea, fearing that the person she’d have to see would be cruel, but luckily it didn’t turn out to be the case. The therapist in question turned out to be a kind woman who actually knew what autism was really like, and helped Mary immensely, mainly in sorting out her feelings and understanding them. Not only that, the red-haired girl Mary had met at the Barnes and Noble so long ago—Lianna Kesserling, as it turned out—had become friends with Reagan at some point, and became friends with Mary not long after. Upon learning that she was autistic like herself, Mary warmed up to her in an instant, spending time with her whenever possible, even if it meant having to deal with Greg sometimes. Lianna taught Mary a lot of things, from anime and video games to self-advocacy and methods of dealing with her sensory issues that didn’t involve suppression. Mary had to wonder just where Lianna had been all her life.

School was an experience all in of itself. Middle school brought all sorts of changes, such as moving from one classroom to another when changing subjects, having to actually take notes alongside listening to the teachers talk, and different teachers for every classroom. The transition from fourth to fifth grade and all that came with it was rocky, and Mary struggled to keep up with all the new rules and studying methods that were so different from fourth grade. She did manage to get a hold on it after a while, with some help from her father, friends, and some kind teachers. The same happened in high school as well. In both times, Mary found herself dealing with something that she knew she’d have to face sooner or later: People knowing about her mother’s blog and believing all that they read. Even though the blog had been deleted not long after Mary returned, many people still read it long before then. Several kids Mary went to school with had parents who believed everything Dana had written, to the point where, when they found out Mary was attending school with them, told their kids to stay away from her, even when Mary had proven that she was nothing like how the blog made her out to be. There were cases where some kids found the blog on their own before its deletion and harassed Mary about it.

Luckily, not all of her school days were miserable. Caitlin, Leo, and other kids she was friends with were always by her side whenever they shared classes, and she had just as many kind teachers who put a stop to whatever bullying she dealt with whenever possible. But one thing Mary didn’t expect was for Greg to be among said group of friends she accumulated. At one point during middle school, some kids were harassing Mary when she was heading to the bathroom, hounding her with questions about the blog and if she really was like how Dana described her. They were persistent and refused to leave her alone…until Greg stepped in and told them off. He had changed significantly since his elementary school days, having shed his original bratty, self-important persona and becoming kinder and more mature. Plus, Mary had met and befriended other kids who she clicked with right away. Some were autistic, some not, but many of them shared her interests and philosophies.

But it’d be a lie to say that things had become perfect since Dana’s departure. Dana had completely cut herself out of the Summers’ lives entirely. She never called, or even sent birthday or Christmas cards. The only thing she ever sent to the Summers were child support checks, nothing more. On one hand, things had drastically improved since Dana had left. On the other hand, there were still times when Mary thought over the things Dana believed about her—chose to believe about her—and fell back into the old habit of wondering if things were better if she weren’t autistic. Mary did experience bad days and low points, all of which her family, friends, and therapist helped her through whenever possible, but the better days, thankfully, outweighed the bad ones. More so since Dana left. She had been on the road to better things for a while. Traumas can still keep their relentless hold, but for Mary, they’re no longer the same chains as they once were. With them corroded and weakened, Mary had broken free enough to acknowledge what these past few years had done for her. What that fateful month and a half on that mysterious magic train did for her…and more importantly, what she had done for herself.

“Mary!” Her father’s voice called out from downstairs. “Can you run Noe and Vanitas out real quick?”

“Sure!” Mary closed the webpage she had up, grabbed her things, and made a beeline downstairs. It was almost time to leave anyway, so running the dogs out was no problem.

When she got to the bottom of the stairs, two wiggly, smiley pitbulls ran over to greet her, their long tails wagging joyfully. One was a pure white one with a purple collar, the other pure black with a light blue one.

“Noe! Vani! How’re my precious doggos?” Mary kneeled down to their level to pet them, and they proceeded to shower her face with kisses by way of their tongues. She broke the cycle by standing up and hooking their leashes to their collars. She escorted them outside and let them both pee on the front yard, since Mary knew the family would be gone for probably a few hours at most. 

The Summers had adopted the dogs two years ago. They had considered getting pets for a number of years before that, but Mary’s disappearance and spending money on therapy put their plans on hold until then. They were originally owned by an older gentleman who had died in a car accident, and his family didn’t want the dogs, but did give them to a shelter that specialized in caring for pit bulls. Luckily, Noe and Vanitas didn’t spend too long in the shelter, as they were there for only a week. The Summers happened to visit that shelter, and Reagan was the one who noticed them. It was love at first sight. The dogs immediately latched onto Reagan and Mary, inundating them with kisses and snuggles, and everyone loved them so much that they decided to adopt the two of them together. It helped that they proved to be the perfect emotional support for all three of them.

Once Noe and Vanitas finished their business, Mary brought them right inside. Todd and Reagan were already at the entrance.

“You ready to go?” Reagan asked.

“You bet!”

With that, the trio got in the car and made their way onto the road. Luckily, the traffic wasn’t too bad, the occasional slowdown at the Squirrel Hill tunnel notwithstanding. It took them about twenty minutes to get to Schenley Park, though it was tough trying to find an empty parking spot, since so many cars took up space on the road. They did manage to find one, and as soon as Mary made her way to the sidewalk, the scene she wanted to see was right where it was supposed to be. The green, wide open space that drooped downward, overlooking downtown Pittsburgh, was empty save for a few people kicking back and relaxing. Right near the oval sportsplex, there were several picnic tables set up, adorned with table cloths and all sorts of food, like cookies, crackers, potato chips, cupcakes, fruit, mozzarella sticks, pigs in blankets, and even a large sheet cake.

The crowd making merry at the tables were people she all knew: The Kesserlings, Caitlin, Leo, Oliver, other friends from school, some of Reagan and Lianna’s friends. As soon as Mary walked closer, Lianna caught sight of the girl, beaming as she raised her hand to wave at her.

“Hey, you guys! I’m so glad you could make it!” Lianna was the first to run over and greet the Summers.

“Missing your birthday party would be a federal crime!” Reagan’s voice was full of cheer when she hugged her friend.

Today was Lianna’s 22nd birthday, and she and her family decided to hold a big party, inviting all their friends and family. Mary had been looking forward to it for weeks. Picking out a present was actually the easiest part, since Mary knew Lianna’s likes and dislikes like the back of her hand. Now that she was here, Mary opened her cherry blossom themed purse and pulled a small blue box out from it, adorned with a pink bow.

“Here, Lianna! Happy birthday!” Mary chirruped as she presented her gift to the birthday girl.

“Thanks so much, Mary!” Lianna took the gift without hesitation, her eyes shining with delight. “Come on over! We just started cutting the cake!” The red-haired college student beckoned them to come closer to the tables.

“Maryyyy!” The Summers had only walked two steps before Caitlin saw them and waved both arms up and down in cheerful greeting. Beside her, Leo simply smiled and waved.

Mary ran over to join them. “Cait! Leo! When did you guys get here?”

“About half an hour ago,” Leo informed her. “You guys didn’t get stuck in any traffic?”

“Just the usual Squirrel Hill tunnel build-up,” Mary said. “Nothing too drastic.”

Caitlin flashed a cheerful grin and wrapped an arm around Mary’s shoulder, to which the latter welcomed. “Good thing you got here when you did. You ready to party?”

“For this? Absolutely!”

Now that all the guests were in attendance, the party was on. Everyone got to claim a slice of chocolate cake and watched as Lianna opened all the presents she received, basking in her enthusiastic gratitude. Mary had gotten Lianna a bookmark adorned with drawings of cute cartoon sheep, since she learned that sheep were her favorite animal. The party itself was a fun, jovial affair, and whenever it got a little too loud, Mary always put in her ear plugs, though this time around, she didn’t feel the need to use them as much as she usually did. Everyone was always very accommodating when it came to Mary and Lianna’s sensory sensitivities; allowing people time, space, and a place to run to if they needed to unwind, keeping their voices down when needed, and so on. It helped that nobody played any loud music, not that anyone brought anything to play it on. At one point, Mary, Caitlin, and Greg were sitting at the table, eating some food while striking up a conversation.

“Not gonna lie, Greg, you’ve really changed a lot since our elementary school days,” Caitlin pointed out. “It’s like you’re a completely new person.”

Greg chuckled humorlessly, shrugging as he avoided her gaze. “Don’t remind me. I know, I know, I was a huge brat and an unrepentant bully back then.”

Figuring he didn’t want to be reminded of his past mistakes, Mary decided to change the subject. “I saw some of your most recent art on your Tumblr page. Your art just keeps getting more and more amazing to look at.”

That was all it took for Greg’s eyes to gleam with delight. “Thanks! I think I’m finally starting to get the hang of Photoshop!” Greg exclaimed. “And get this! One of my favorite artists liked my Chernabog drawing!” He pulled out his phone and pulled up the webpage for them to look at.

The two girls leaned closer to his phone to get a better look at the artwork he made. The most recent one depicted what appeared to be a winged demonic creature standing atop a large mountain in the dead of night, staring menacingly down at the world below.

“Oooh, 400 likes! How in the world did you manage that?” Caitlin asked, in awe of how much attention the picture was getting.

“That artist I mentioned reblogged it, and his fans all really liked it!” Greg effused.

Mary smiled. “That’s wonderful, Greg.”

She wanted to move the conversation along, but she felt an uncomfortable churning in her stomach, which she knew all too well. Nature was calling.

“I’m gonna head to the bathroom!” Mary told them as she stood up to leave. Caitlin and Greg continued to converse as Mary made her way to the bathroom, leaving her spot at the table open for when she came back. Luckily for Mary, there was no one else in the bathroom, meaning she could just get in and get out. But right as she made her way out the door, she turned the corner, and in an instant, collided with something. She was able to make out a dark green blur, but nothing else. Good thing she didn’t fall over or knock over the person she bumped into.

“Ooof! Oh, I’m so sorry!” As soon as she saw the person she bumped into—a young man who looked to be a little older than her—she took two steps back and apologized.

“Naw, it's okay,” The boy waved both hands in the air, sputtering reassurance as he did so. “I should have been watching where I was going anyway.”

Mary would have just left right there, since the man wasn’t too bothered by the whole thing…but something made her remain where she was. Wait, now that she got a better look at him, he looked…familiar. His brown hair was messy, reaching down to his neck and curling outward. His eyes were of a similar color, and the thick glasses he wore did nothing to obscure his freckles. The man wore an olive green jacket over a black shirt, navy blue jeans, and red and white sneakers. Had she seen him before? She felt like she had, but where? She couldn’t place it. Oddly enough, the man seemed to be sizing her up as well.

“Hold on…sorry if this sounds weird, but…would you happen to be Mary Summers by any chance?” The man asked.

He knew her name? How? Mary could only assume he might have seen the missing posters that she was on six years ago, or maybe saw reports of her disappearance on the news. A part of her advised that she not answer his question. For all she knew, he might have nefarious intentions or might try to get sensitive information out of her. Her father drilled it into her head to never talk to strangers or give them any information that they could potentially use to track her down. On the other hand, the man didn’t seem to give off any weird vibes, and she couldn’t shake the feeling she had seen him before. It helped that he wasn’t trying to grab her or touch her.

“...Yes, I’m Mary Summers. How’d you guess?”

The man’s jaw fell slightly agape, but his eyes softened, like he was being reunited with someone he hadn’t seen for a long time. “The thing is…my sister, Nora…you had said on TV that she kinda…kidnapped you? Y’know, Nora McDonald.”

Nora. He said Nora was his sister. In that instant, it finally clicked.

“Oh my goodness. You’re Julius, aren’t you?”

Julius flashed a shy smile as he nodded, which told her all she needed to know. Mary couldn’t believe it. Julius McDonald was right in front of her! Could it have been fate? She had no idea. She had to admit, the twelve-year-old boy she saw in Nora’s memories had grown up quite a bit. His jacket and jeans couldn’t quite hide his lanky limbs, but his face had elongated somewhat, and his jaw looked pointier than it was when he was younger. As was typical for men, his voice had deepened significantly, though it still had a buoyant, youthful boyishness to it, like he wasn’t quite out of high school yet. But Mary could see that growing up had done nothing to erase the traces of the boy who loved his sister and worried about her.

“Man, who would have guessed I’d run into you here?” Julius said, running a hand through his unkempt locks.

“I know, right?”

A brief silence fell between them before Mary broke it. “Do you…want to sit somewhere and talk? I bet you have a bunch of questions.”

“Sure. To be honest, a bunch doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

Fair enough. There was an empty bench nearby, so the two of them sat down. But as happy as Mary would have been to answer his questions about Nora, she knew she wouldn’t be able to tell him the truth. If she tried, he’d probably dismiss her experiences on the train as something she saw in a movie or read in a comic book. Nobody would ever believe any of it. How could she even go about starting this whole conversation?

Luckily for her, she didn’t have to. “So…when you were with Nora, did she tell you anything about me?” He asked sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ll bet she probably complained about me and made me out to be some diabolical life ruiner. Wouldn’t surprise me.”

He wasn’t wrong. But the way he said it sounded so…defeated. Like he was resigned to the fact that Nora would blame him for every bad thing in her life even when evidence clearly proved otherwise. Mary balled her hands into fists. As much as it hurt that she couldn’t tell him the whole truth, she was sure about one thing, and she wasted no time telling him.

“She did, not gonna lie,” Mary admitted. “But somehow…I knew the things she was saying about you were wrong, and I didn’t believe a word of it.”

Julius flashed a sad smile. “Yeah. Her crappy boyfriend convinced her to believe all these nonsense conspiracies and ideas about people.”

Convinced probably wasn’t the right word for it, but Mary was in no mood to correct him. She had seen through the memory orbs what Xander had done to her first hand. Nora would probably still be alive if she had just stayed away from him. Even back when they were on the train, Mary couldn’t understand why Nora would want anything to do with him, to the point of literally throwing her family and her life away for him.

“She certainly praised him to the heavens, I can tell you that much,” Mary said as she fiddled with one of her braids. “And every time I’d try to point out stuff that was wrong with him or correct her on something, she’d practically throw a tantrum.”

Julius barely managed to suppress a snort. “No surprise there. Ugh, you should have seen the stuff she did to me and my parents. Mom and Dad tried everything to get her to either see reason or away from him. Counseling, family outings, teaching her about the Nazis’ atrocities, reaching out to rehabilitation centers, the whole shebang,” He explained. “Nora wouldn’t bite. Her response to everything that wasn’t worshiping the ground Xander walked on was either violence or telling everyone to fuck off.”

The fact that not even the train could get Nora to see the error of her ways spoke volumes about her complete lack of willingness to see what was in front of her.

He balled his hands into trembling fists. “I just don’t understand…” Julius’ voice trembled, and his soft brown eyes came close to moistening with fresh tears. “There’s so many questions I want answers to, that I know that piece of human garbage will probably never give me. Just…why? Why Nora? It’s like…he erased the old Nora from existence! I won’t deny that she’s done pretty awful things, with or without him telling her what to do. Hell, she tried to kill me several times, but…” This time, the tears sprung forth. “Why did she have to die?”

Like Blanca had said before Mary left the train, there was no changing what had happened. Similarly, there was no changing or fixing the trauma that what happened had left behind. There would never be a way to fill the Nora sized hole in the McDonald family after this. None of what had happened both on and off the train should have happened. Sure, Xander was in jail now, so he could never hurt anyone ever again, but there was no guarantee he’d stay behind bars. His sentence could get overturned with appeals, or he’d probably find a way to get on parole. Then again, nothing in life was guaranteed or set in stone. If Nora hadn’t met Xander when they first started school, their paths might have crossed later. Even if it was true that Nora pursued him first and kept seeing him on her own accord, it didn’t change the fact that his filling her head with lies, combined with her own stubbornness and refusal to question his beliefs and actions, had gotten her killed. The wounds left behind would probably never heal.

“I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose someone you love, both figuratively and literally,” Mary swallowed, unsure if she should continue speaking. A part of her was afraid she’d unknowingly say something insensitive and make things worse. But she kept going. “But I want you to know…none of this is your fault. This is all on Xander, not you.”

Julius sniffed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Thanks. I appreciate the support, and I know Nora wasn’t entirely blameless in the whole thing. She told Xander to throw me out of the house in -2 degree weather and pushed me to the point I slipped and hit my head on the edge of the table. The doctor told me that I was lucky I didn’t sustain brain damage from the impact.”

The memory of seeing it play out on the train sent a shiver down Mary’s spine. No way would she ever forget something that horrific.

“Do you…hate Nora? For what she did to you and your family? For what Xander told her to do to you guys?”

“No. I don’t hate her. It’s more like…I hate what she became. What Xander turned her into. Do you hate her for all the stuff she did to you?”

If he had asked her all this when she was still on the train, Mary would have unequivocally said yes. But in the years since leaving the train, her feelings on the whole situation had changed. It’d be a lie to say that Mary had completely forgiven Nora for all the cruel things she did. Even without Xander’s presence, Nora had been nothing but cruel and malicious, rejecting any and all offers of friendship, support, and counsel. In a way, it was like how Dana had been convinced that autism was this terrible enemy that needed to be fought, and how she steadfastly refused to accept anything that went against what she had been taught to believe, even with solid evidence. Nora clung to her beliefs to the very end, never realizing the truth behind it all. That was what was so awful about the whole thing: Things might have been different had Nora just questioned things, or stopped to think. Or if Xander had been dealt with sooner.

“To be honest,” As always, she feared her response would be too insensitive or harsh, but the desperation to speak her true feelings won out. “A part of me does hate her. She learned some stuff about me that was posted on the internet without my consent and tried to use it against me. She tried to convince me that the world would be better off if I had been aborted or never existed. I was already dealing with my own issues at the time and learning some awful things about how my mom felt about me being autistic, so learning that Nora had been taught to see autistic people as subhuman monsters that needed to be expunged was…” A brief pause. “Not a happy experience.”

“I’m really sorry for all that Nora did to you,” Julius murmured. “You must have been beyond terrified, on top of what you were already going through.”

Mary shook her head. “Don’t apologize. None of this is on you or me,” She wasted no time reassuring him, because it was the truth. “At the time, I did hate her. But now that I’ve learned a lot of the circumstances behind it all…I’m just sad. Sad that your sister is gone. Sad that her life ended so…horribly. Sad over the fact that all of this could have been prevented.”

“Understatement of the millennium right there.”

Birds flew far above their heads, their wings flapping so loud that it was enough to make the two of them dart their heads upward. A whole flock of them soared overhead, black silhouettes against a stark blue sky. Mary put her sunglasses on, as the sun’s rays cut into her eyes and hurt like knives. It was funny how she had never thought to start wearing sunglasses until just a few years ago, after she had gotten off the train, when the sun’s harsh effulgence and how it reflected off the concrete sidewalks and car windows always hurt.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you the answers you wanted,” Mary apologized, her voice low and wistful. The temptation to tell him about all of their experiences on the train was strong, but she steeled herself and refrained.

“No, don’t be,” Julius asserted, slamming a hand on his chest as he did so. “I’m glad you told me everything you did, no matter how small it was. As much as I hate that there’s so much about her death that doesn’t add up, I’d feel even worse if you both died or if Nora had killed you. I know your family would be just as devastated if they had lost you.”

Her father and sister, yes. Her mother not so much. Still, he was right to want answers, and it hurt to not be able to tell him the whole truth. At one point, Julius’ attention was drawn to something hanging from Mary’s jeans.

“Oh! Are you a Rune Factory fan too? You don’t see Wooly clips like those every day.”

In an instant, Mary’s interest was piqued. “Yep! Do you like the series? I’m a huge fan!”

“Sure do!”

All the previous tension from before had melted away as the two of them chatted merrily about their favorite games, books, and shows, among other interests. Time seemed to stop all around them as the two got to know each other better. Mary couldn’t help but find the way Julius’ eyes brightened as he spoke and the dimples at the corners of his mouth to be rather endearing. Cute, even. But she refrained from saying so out loud. She had just met him in person, and for all she knew, he’d probably be put off if she told him that. Others had been put off when she was enthusiastic in talking about her hobbies and interests. She did appreciate that Julius wasn’t one of them. He was autistic as well, so he probably experienced his fair share of rejection and hardship on that front. There was no denying that a kinship was born in that moment, even if the start of said kinship was from sad circumstances.

“Man, I’d love to talk to you about this stuff more,” Julius admitted sheepishly before pulling his cell phone out. “Do you want to exchange phone numbers? If you’re comfortable, that is.”

“I’d love to!” Mary wasted no time pulling her phone out, and the two of them exchanged phone numbers right then and there.

“I was wondering why you were taking so long!” Caitlin’s voice cut between them out of nowhere, startling Julius to the point that he nearly fell off the bench. Caitlin stood right behind the bench, eyeing the two of them. “I was starting to get a little worried.”

“Sorry about that, Cait.”

It didn’t take long for Caitlin to notice Julius’ presence. She flashed a smug smirk and eyed Mary. “Oooh, I didn’t know you had a secret boyfriend, Mary.”

Both Mary and Julius’ faces heated up in an instant. “We only just met!” The two teenagers shouted in perfect unison.

“JK, I was just joshin’ you!” Caitlin waved off their embarrassment until she got a better look at him. “Wait…hold on. Weren’t you in my Film Analysis class last year?”

“Which teacher?”

“Mrs. Tajiri.”

“Now I remember! You sat three seats in front of me! Caitlin Hall, right?”

Mary found herself flummoxed. “You guys know each other?”

“Apparently,” Both Caitlin and Julius replied in unison.

Not only did they run into Julius in Schenley Park, they even went to the same school. At this point, Mary was convinced the universe was doing this on purpose. In a way, she was glad they encountered each other and were so close. Now that they had exchanged phone numbers, they could talk whenever they had the time. Actually…an idea struck her brain like a lightning bolt.

“Julius? My friend is having a birthday party over that way,” Mary told him, pointing to the clearing further down. “Would you like to join us?”

Julius’ eyes widened, taken off guard by the sudden invitation. Whether his surprise was one of happiness or dread, Mary couldn’t quite tell, and a quick pang of guilt shot through her. Was this a bad idea? Did he not like birthday parties? Luckily, her worries were assuaged seconds later when Julius flashed a beaming smile in her direction.

“Sure! I’d be happy to join you! As long as it's okay with the host, that is.”

It turned out to be more than okay. Everyone at Lianna’s birthday party welcomed Julius with open arms, like he was already part of their gang from the outset. The atmosphere was just as jovial as it had been when the party started, and Mary had ample time to get to know Julius more, as did everyone else. It was almost surreal how she and Julius seemed to click the second they struck a conversation. Whether it was because she knew about him before actually meeting him or because he was autistic like her, Mary couldn’t say. Regardless of the circumstances that brought them together, Mary hoped that she would see him again afterward, and continue to do so for as long as time would allow. Just like with the rest of her friends and family. The people she knew truly loved and accepted her for who she was.

“Hey Mary,” Leo stopped to talk to Mary and Julius, who were sitting at the table and conversing about video games. “Do you wanna read that story you wrote for the anthology to us?”

“Ohh, I know what you’re talking about!” Lianna exclaimed before taking a bite out of a cookie. “I’ve read it a dozen times! It’s great! You have great promise as a writer, Mary!”

Mary shrugged and fiddled with one of her braids, abashed by the praise to the point where her cheeks burned. “Come on, guys. You’re making me blush…”

Early in Mary’s sophomore year, her high school was given a chance to publish an anthology of short stories written by students taking creative writing classes. The included stories would be limited to three per class for the sake of keeping the book at a reasonable length. Mary wrote a short story and submitted it on a whim, convinced that it wasn’t going to be included. To her and everyone else’s surprise, her story was accepted and printed in the anthology. When she heard the news, Mary was so lost in her joy that she let out a loud squeal and bounced around the house for ten minutes straight, unable to contain herself. She didn’t remember the last time she had ever felt that happy, as strange as it might be. But more than the publication of her short story itself, it was the emails she received from readers—many of whom were autistic like herself—telling her how much they connected with her story, how much it affected them, and how it made them feel seen and accepted, that made Mary the happiest of all.

Having heard the conversation, Todd, Reagan, Oliver, and Caitlin huddled around the table. “You wrote a story? Cool! I’d love to hear you read it!” Oliver exclaimed.

“I’ve read it a bunch of times already, but I would like to hear you read it out loud,” Reagan said.

“Guys, guys, Mary doesn’t like doing that kind of stuff,” Todd reminded them.

Mary raised her hand like she was still in school. “It’s fine. I’ll read it out loud. It’s not that long anyway,” She said before rummaging through her bag and pulling out a rather thick book with a navy blue binding.

“What’s it about?” Julius asked, his gentle eyes gleaming with interest.

Once she got it settled on the table, she opened it up. “It’s about…well, you’ll see when I read it.”

It was a story she had put everything into. All the experiences she had on the train, the truths she learned, the memories she made, the friendships she cultivated, and the adventures she had, she put into this 15-page story that she spent days writing out. She had to trim some things down to meet the requirements for publication, but Mary didn’t mind. It was still something she made, something she was proud of. Something to remind her that the adventures she had on that magic train were real.

One morning, Mary Summers made the choice to run away from home, fearing what the future would hold for her. However ironic it may be, that choice changed everything for her, allowing her to seize the future she wanted for herself. The story she published in her high school’s anthology was the culmination of everything that resulted from that choice.

She found the page where her story was, taking a deep breath before starting.

“It’s called… The Sun Will Come Up And The Seasons Will Change.”