Chapter Text
“Tony, what the fuck?” Rhodey asked, wheeling in the kitchen to bacon sizzling in a pan on the stove, coffee already made, and eggs swirling in boiling water. Some sort of sauce was in another saucepan on the burner beside the eggs.
“Where’s your legs? You’re supposed to use your legs,” Tony said, pointing at Rhodey accusingly with a pair of tongs.
“It’s the morning. I’ll put them on later,” Rhodey shrugged dismissively. “What are you doing?”
“I’m making eggs benedict,” Tony said, like it was obvious. He was already dressed in a band shirt and jean with a Kiss the Cook apron covering them, and Rhodey was still in the boxers that he slept in. "Go get dressed."
“Since when did you know how to poach an egg?” Rhodey scoffed, then looked at the table. “Are these… flowers?” He gestured to the daisies in a blue, glass vase on the counter.
“No, obviously not,” Tony said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “I gotta keep an eye on the hollandaise sauce, but I have to talk to you when the food is ready.”
Rhodey moved in beside Tony. “I got the bacon, you’ve got too many things going on.”
“No, this is for you,” Tony snapped. “And Pepper. I invited her over. I’d maybe get dressed if I were you.”
Rhodey raised an eyebrow, moving back. “What do you have to talk about?”
“I’ll tell you when she’s here. Go get dressed,” Tony said, practically pushing him out of the kitchen. “Go.”
“Okay, okay,” Rhodey said, his hands up in the air in surrender.
Cooking was… therapeutic for Tony. He was alone in the kitchen, and the task of cooking got his mind busy. He could compare it to his tinkering; a whole bunch of things that have to be fit together, then a finished product. Besides, food sometimes tasted good, especially now; a few weeks ago he had to be force-fed, but now, he was actually enjoying it.
Tony plated everything all nicely just in time for Pepper to walk into the kitchen. He gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, then shrugged off his apron and gestured for her to sit down. He himself sat down at the head of the table, the spot beside Pepper. Rhodey walked into the kitchen (walked!) a minute later, said his greetings, and sat down on the other side of Tony.
“I made you breakfast,” Tony said. He stared at his own plate of eggs benedict with a side of home-cut fries. “But, yeah. You might be wondering why I called you both over and cooked a very nice breakfast,” he began, standing up. “I have to tell you guys two things: I am very sorry, and thank you.”
Pepper and Rhodey exchanged glances.
“I have a flair for drama,” Tony muttered, “and I admit that I take things too far, and I overreact a lot, so I’m sorry. I’m sorry you have to deal with my theatrics, I’m sorry I couldn’t just agree and want to get better which is stupid. I was being stupid. Why would I not want to get better? I’m sorry that I’m only seeing now how much of a brat I was being for the past few months.”
“Tony, it’s not your fault, you-”
“It is my fault. I wasn’t trying. But I am trying now, I think. I'm better. I think. I mean, I don't want to die like all the time which is good. And I’m sorry I never took your feelings into consideration, because I’m selfish, and that’s just how it is.” Tony’s voice was strained, and it shook. “I know I mean something to you guys, and I’m sorry I completely ignored that in favour of… making it easier for myself. By, you know, by dying. I’m sorry.” He sat down and picked at the fries, dipping one in ketchup but not bringing it to his mouth.
Rhodey put a hand on his shoulder, looking at Pepper in a silent conversation that Tony didn’t want to look into.
“I’m not even going to like, make excuses, because I’ve been a dick to you guys. Shitty mental health or not, you don’t deserve it. I’ve been pushing you two away, dictating what you should care about, demanding your attention all the same, it just doesn’t…” he trailed off, rapidly blinking away tears. “It just doesn’t make like, a good relationship, it was so one-sided, it was all me, myself, and I. I’m sorry. I didn’t even stop to consider how me dying might affect you guys.” Tony stopped, then huffed out a self-deprecating laugh. “I’m going in circles, aren’t I?”
“Tony, it’s okay. I forgive you, man. The stuff you’re apologizing for isn’t even like, stuff you should be sorry about,” Rhodey said, taking advantage of Tony’s break in his speech. “You were in a bad place, and you’re still not out of the woods yet. It’s okay.”
“Yeah, Tony,” Pepper piped up. “No one blames you for anything, I promise.”
“It's not an excuse, okay? I should’ve stayed in the hospital. I shouldn’t have thrown it all on you guys, I think that’s what I’m trying to say,” Tony continued, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, and I’m so incredibly thankful for you two, no amount of eggs benedict will ever amount to how many you deserve for putting up with my shit. Thank you, thanks for not letting me kill myself, for talking me off the metaphorical ledge pretty much everyday, for picking up after my messes, for dealing with me. I'm sorry.” Tony swallowed around the lump in his throat. It was a miracle he hadn’t started crying yet.
“You don’t have to be sorry for anything,” Pepper whispered softly, covering his hand with her own.
“But I am. So I’m getting this out. Thank you. And sorry,” Tony mumbled, stabbing a potato with his fork. “I’ll try to… be better. I’ll get better.”
“You will get better,” Rhodey said, patting his shoulder. “You’ve already come so far. Don’t fret about it, recovery is slow, two steps forward one step backward. You've done it before. You can do it again.”
Tony gave Rhodey a watery smile. “I don’t deserve you. Or you,” he addressed Pepper. “You dealt with me when he was in the hospital, I was a mess. I still am. I don’t deserve you guys.”
She smiled sadly at him, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb. “We’ll take care of you. That’s what we do.”
Tony nodded. “Anyway. That was it. I think. Now you can eat,” he said in quick sentences. He felt emotionally drained, but in a good way.
He stared at his plate, his food a little blurry around the edges, but he forced the tears away. This was for them- not Tony. He didn’t have to make it all about himself anymore. Somehow though, he felt Pepper and Rhodey’s gazes on him, burning holes into his skin. Nobody seemed willing to break the silence, until Rhodey finally cleared his throat.
“Tony, man. It’s not that I don’t appreciate this apology, because I’m not going to lie; it was… it was difficult. But it’s worth it, y’know? If I can see you better, happier, then it’s worth it,” he said determinedly.
“Of course you’re worth it,” Pepper agreed. “Seeing you alive was enough at the end of the day.”
“And I’m not going to just leave you when you’re sick, you’ve gotta do much worse than that to get me to go away,” Rhodey continued. “In sickness and in health.”
“Are we saying our vows now?” Tony joked, finally looking up from his plate.
“I take thee Tony Stark to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth,” Rhodey recited, his eyes warm and caring and everything and suddenly Tony was sobbing into his eggs and potatoes.
“You guys are the best,” he cried out, smiling amid the tears, in both of his friends’ arms.
--
Tony stepped into his first press conference since the Avengers split up. He had to make a statement, he had to take questions. There was no putting it off. He had been pushing back and dreading the date for months now, so he thought that he may as well get it over with.
The room fell silent as soon as he entered it, save for the shutters of cameras. He slowly made his way to the lectern on the podium, his steps echoing loudly. He glanced at his watch. “I am here to make a simple statement,” he said, surveying the crowd of people. “The rumours are true; the Avengers are no more. Steve and his buddies have run away, and the Sokovia accords are finished. There’s no more team. We’re done.”
He cleared his throat, shoving down emotion and reverting to his usual cold self; the press Tony. The Tony that was unreadable and unpredictable and calculating. He had to remember that Steve and the others were keeping up with the news, like Natasha had said.
“Anyway. That’s all that needs to be said, really. I have ten minutes for questions, then Secretary Ross is gonna come up and make his statement and you can all harangue him instead. Starting… now.”
Voices shouted, hands were raised. “Mr Stark! Where are the ex-Avengers now?” a young reporter asked, shoving the microphone into his face. Tony looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
“I only pretend to know everything. As far as I’m aware, you’re hiding them in your basement,” he lied easily. He looked at the people shouting, and just to be annoying, his gaze fell on a lady in the very back. “You, in the white dress. Yeah, you.”
“What do you have to say about your overdose?” she called.
Tony had prepared himself for this, but still didn’t want to answer. “Pardon? Shout a little louder?”
“I was just wondering…” she trailed off sheepishly, as if suddenly realizing that the question was offensive. However, a man in a red shirt up front had no problem.
“She asked about your overdose,” he said in a smug tone. The room went so quiet, Tony could’ve heard a pin drop; everyone wanted to hear what he had to say.
“What do I have to say about my OD?” he began. “Well, that’s an incredibly personal topic. Have you guys no shame?” Tony asked, rolling his eyes. “Next.”
The shouting resumed.
“Mr Stark! What happens next?”
“After this? I go home and enjoy a cheeseburger.”
“Who’s going to take up the mantle of the Avengers’ captain?”
“The Avengers are done. Were you even listening?”
“How do you think this will affect the stocks?”
“Seeing as the Avengers and Stark Industries are two separate organizations, there should be no problem. After all, I’m not the one who’s in hiding. I’ve got free reign.”
He kept his answers short, succinct and with a vaguely annoyed tone, shutting people down easily if he didn’t like the question; after years of press conferences and pushy reporters, he had gotten used to it. It was easy to fall back into the routine, even if the questions were much more personal this time around. He and Pepper had gone over the more personal ones that they could ask and built a response for them, so he was mostly prepared. God bless Pepper Potts.
It was almost worrying how quickly he could shut down his emotions and answer the questions with as little feeling as possible. Tony shrugged the thought away; this wasn’t his first time doing this anyway, he remembered the press conference after his parents’ death. Obie had forced him to make a statement to reassure everyone that he was more than capable of taking over the mantle once he was old enough, just so that the stocks wouldn’t drop. He was drunk during the whole thing, but hid it well. Tony wasn’t drunk this time, but God, he wanted to be.
“What if there’s another alien invasion? Who do we call?”
As if that thought didn’t plague Tony’s nightmares. “We’ll cross that line when we come to it. And anyway, if they decide to arrest the superheroes when we need them, then maybe Earth deserves to be invaded. Just a thought.” He shrugged with feigned nonchalance.
“Is there anything you want to tell the ex-Avengers should they be listening in?” a lady on the far left of Tony asked. He looked at her, thinking.
“I would tell them this: I hope you know what you’re fighting for, I hope you think it’s worth it,” he said, flattening his voice. No emotion. “Next.”
“Do you not miss them?”
“Oh yes, I miss Rogers being a pain in the ass all the time.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Trust me when I say this; I don’t get to miss them. Things have happened between us. We both said things we probably could have phrased differently. Mom and dad fight. They all left just as much as I left, so it’s not really my place to miss them.”
“So who gets custody over the Avengers?”
“Going with this divorce analogy? No one,” Tony said harshly. “The Avengers are no more. How many times do I have to say it? SHIELD fell. We were on our own, and now we’re done.”
There was more yelling, but Tony caught Pepper’s eye in the back of the crowd, and she gestured to her watch. He pulled back the sleeve of his left arm and checked his own, nodding to himself.
“Well, looks like we’re out of time. See you when I see you,” Tony said dismissively, stepping down from the pedestal and disappearing into the back room, bumping shoulders with Ross as he made his way to the lectern.
Hidden behind closed doors, Tony sighed deeply. He grabbed a paper Dixie cup and filled it with water from a cooler, loosening his tie. He sat down heavily onto a plastic chair placed against the wall, suddenly exhausted. He no longer had to keep the shield up; he was alone.
“You did well, Tones,” Rhodey said, walking to him. The splints were hidden under his dress pants.
“Yeah, well, I’m me. What do you expect?” Tony smirked, straightening up. He stood up and threw the cup in the blue bin to the right of the cooler. “I came out of the womb holding press conferences.”
Rhodey rolled his eyes. “Not a great mental image, there.”
Tony shrugged. “Practically the truth.”
Rhodey clasped him on the back, suddenly serious. “You okay?”
Tony nodded automatically.
“You sure?”
He shrugged.
Rhodey sighed, bringing him closer into a sort of half-hug. “Let’s go. Pep has to stay for the whole thing, but we can go home.”
“Y’know, I was serious about that cheeseburger I mentioned during the conference,” Tony reminded him with a nudge of his elbow.
Rhodey laughed. “Alright. We’ll stop at Burger King, then.”
And Tony and Rhodey left the building with a hand on each other’s backs, pushing open the doors to a metaphorical new life. Steve was left behind him, the Accords, the whole mess of shit. He was good; he had slowly climbed his way up from rock bottom time and time again, ready to give up. And while there were still days that left Tony numb, well, he wasn’t afraid to reach out anymore. He talked to his friends when it got rough. Pepper and him made it official over an omelette. He talked to the Spider-Kid more and more, especially after the whole Toomes thing, and tried to recruit him as an Avenger. He proposed to Pepper.
Yeah, it was worth it in the end.