Chapter Text
“You know why they call me Superboy?”
Tim blinks in surprise. The two of them are in his room doing homework, and he really doesn’t wanna hear about Kon’s sexual escapades now .
“Does it matter?” He asks. “Let’s go back to bio—”
“My dad.” Kon coughs awkwardly. “He’s… he was called Superman, by his colleagues in the Daily Planet. I don’t know how the news travelled to Gotham, but it did, and people started calling me Superboy — as a reference to him, I guess.”
Tim frowns. “So the rumors…”
“They’re all bullshit .” He shakes his head. “I’m not Superboy — I’m just Kon-el.”
Something’s wrong.
It’s not like Kon to sound so… un confident, so hesitant. Something’s bothering him, and damn it if it’s not more important than their stupid bio assignment.
“Ehm,” Tim says, thinking of how to approach this. “I don’t think I ever told you about my biological parents.”
Kon looks at him, confused. “What?”
“You know I’m not actually related to Bruce, right?” The other nods. “Yeah, so… my biological parents. Jack and Janet Drake.”
“Aren’t you Japanese?”
Tim laughs, surprised. “Yeah. They changed their names when they got married.”
“Oh.” Kon blinks. “My dad did that, too. But continue.”
“My mom died,” he says, just to get it over with. “My dad died a few years later, too, when I was a bit older. But I guess you knew that.”
Kon hums. “Kinda. Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine.” Tim meets his eyes. “I don’t really talk about it, ‘cause it’s just… out there, you know? But I figured I should tell you— you deserve to know, to hear it from me and not some nosy journalist.”
“A nosy journalist…” The older smirks. “You mean someone like Clark Kent?”
“Maybe.” He shrugs. “But yeah. They died, and I was adopted by Bruce, and Bruce is great, but sometimes I feel like… it’s not even that I miss them, because they were barely even home half the time, but I do. I miss them.” He coughs. “Sometimes.”
Kon frowns. “It’s okay if you miss them, and it’s okay if you don’t. I think we’ve reached a point in society where parents, you know, they can be shitty .”
“Yeah…” He drifts off. “They weren’t there, but they weren’t too shitty, you know? Objectively. There are worse parents.”
But that’s not quite right, either. Sure, his parents were neglectful, but he can’t say they weren’t shitty because they could be worse, and he can’t say they were shitty because there are better parents. They were his , though, and that mattered a lot.
“I guess I miss the feeling I had whenever they were home,” he admits. “Like, they’d tell me a bit about Japan and what it was like there, and they’d talk about my baachan and they’d tell me different stories in Japanese… I miss that , specifically. And then I feel guilty, because I should miss them more… but I don’t.”
It’s an issue for a lot of people. Losing their own culture after being adopted by a white family, or after hanging out too much with white people, or just… losing their own culture in general. It’s terrible, and he hates that it happens, but it does and it’s happening to him, too. Part of why he loved to talk to Cass so much is because she’s Chinese, and they had a lot of things in common. Damian, too, but he only grew up with his own culture until he was, like, 10, and Tim gets the feeling that the younger doesn’t really care about such things.
“Thanks, Tim,” Kon says. “I appreciate you telling me.”
“Yeah, so… if you wanted to.” Tim clears his throat. “If you wanted to talk about your parents, I’ve had four of them in this lifetime, so I figure I can help, maybe.”
The other purses his lips and looks away. Tim starts thinking shit, maybe he said the wrong thing and now Kon hates me , but then his friend starts talking.
“I don’t really… get along with my dad.” Kon looks down. “I know how I sound, like some brat that doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but it’s just… something that happens. It’s a part of me, not getting along with him, I think.”
Tim shakes his head. “You don’t sound like that.”
The other smiles gratefully at him. “Yeah, well… it’s how I feel. All the time. Ever since he found out about us, it’s been even worse. He didn’t know I was… not straight . He has a hard time believing it’s legit, and that I’m not just trying to ruin his reputation.”
“He said that?” Tim frowns. “I… that’s not—”
“I know it’s not right,” Kon says. “I know it’s homophobic , but I’m trying to come to terms with him coming to terms with me. You know? And yeah, I feel ungrateful for feeling this way, and I feel all kinds of bad, but, in the end… it’s how I am.”
He looks at the younger, then, and there’s a whole range of emotions there that he’s never seen on Kon-el before: apprehension, fear, anger, vulnerability, the wish for acceptance.
“So you’re not straight, then?” Tim asks. “Like, for sure?”
He nods. “I’ve kinda known it for a while, even before you, but now it’s like I can finally… say it. It’s like now I finally have a “reason” for being this way, you know? Now, it’s not just a feeling I felt, but it’s… you .”
Against his will, Tim finds himself flushing. It’s not normal for such a thing to happen, so the fact that Kon’s managed to make him blush is… alarming . All kinds of warning bells ring inside his head, but he listens to none of them.
“Well, I mean, it’s whatever.” Kon clears his throat and looks away. “I mean, it’s not whatever, but… you know.”
Tim smiles at him and his fake-boyfriend smiles back at him, and this is bad , but it feels so good and it feels so right, so Tim ignores it.
*
“Holy shit,” Kon says, gaping. “Hot damn . My boyfriend’s hot .”
Tim laughs — willingly doesn’t flush, this time — and takes the boy’s hand. He’s wearing a patterned red kimono, one he got from his dad before the latter died, with black and gold kanji woven into the fabric. It’s very clearly a hand-me-down, but he takes it in stride.
“You look amazing,” his boyfriend says, not done gaping at him like he’s the best thing he’s ever seen. “Like seriously, I don’t know what I was expecting, but this is just… wow .”
“Thanks. You really have a way with words.” Tim laughs again when Kon glares at him. “You look great, too.”
Kon flushes. “Now you’re just saying that.”
Before Tim can answer his ridiculous boyfriend, his siblings interrupt them, coming down the stairs after him to meet their respective dates.
Cass looks incredible, wearing an ankle-length black dress with some frilly things at the waist, and Steph looks equally as beautiful. Her blonde hair is in a net hairdo and she’s wearing a black-and-purple dress that brings out the blue in her eyes.
Tim almost doesn’t wanna look at Jason, but he does, and he struggles to keep himself composed. Jay looks… he just looks so fucking good . In his bright blue-and-gold Agbada robe, and with the Fila of the same color complimenting his dark skin color, Jason Todd will definitely win Prom King. If he doesn’t, Tim will drop out of high school and move to another country, because it should be illegal to look this good .
“Hey,” the older says, smiling at Tim’s kimono. It’s the first time in a while that they’ve talked this normally. “I see you and I had the same idea. You look beautiful, Tim.”
Tim Drake-Wayne wants to cry. Instead, he just blushes and compliments his older brother , who looks stunning.
He turns back to his actual date, and avoids Kon’s stare. He knows , and he doesn’t need the other to make things worse by teasing him about his stupid emotions .
Jason himself was going with his friend, Rose Wilson, who, to Tim’s delight and guilt, is as safe as it’ll ever get: she’s the daughter of one of Wayne Enterprise’s rivals, and very much uninterested in dating. Rose, with her tan skin and platinum hair and killer body, complements Jason’s gorgeous look perfectly by looking just as stunning in her golden dress. The two of them are killer .
All three Kyle-Wayne siblings make their way to where Alfred is awaiting them, having agreed to act as their chauffeur for the night. The butler compliments everyone, and together all six kids fit into the mini-limo.
It’s awkward as each couple sticks to themselves, with only the occasional interaction between the girls, but overall it’s not as awkward as it would have been without Kon there, so thank God for the small blessings — and for really extroverted people.
When they arrive, it feels like everyone is staring at them — because, let’s be real, they probably are . Not only are the Kyle-Wayne kids there, but Rose Wilson is also there, and that’s apparently enough to bring tons of paparazzi outside.
By the time they finally get inside, though, it’s not like much has changed: every single student is staring at the six of them. Tim ignores most of them, taking Kon’s hand and going off to the corner where they can finally have some alone time.
But then, just as they’re further away from everyone else, M’gann and a blonde Asian girl get in their way.
“Kon!” M’gann says, a big smile on her face. “Oh my God, you two look amazing .”
Both boys smile as she introduces her girlfriend, Artemis Nguyen. The blonde smiles politely at them but there’s a certain bite to her personality that makes Tim feel intimidated — but also, kind of, turned on.
The couple looks stunning, too: M’gann is wearing a bright green suit with fancy patterns on it, which looks stunning with her dark skin and red hair, while Artemis is wearing a matching green áo dài — a Vietnamese traditional dress. Even with long sleeves, Tim can see the blonde’s strong arms, and once again finds himself attracted to her — but alas .
“You two look great, too,” Tim says, after Kon doesn’t say anything. “I like the whole matching thing you have going on.”
M’gann beams. “Oh, yeah, I was the one who came up with that!” She takes her girlfriend’s hand and twirls the blonde around. “How do we look?”
“You look good, Meg,” Kon says, his voice a little weird. “You always look good.”
At this, the air turns awkward. Tim tenses, and both girls freeze, but Kon keeps staring at M’gann and Tim wants to hit him because he’s being way too obvious. He also wants to cry, because he shouldn’t feel so upset that his fake-boyfriend is still kinda in love with his ex — it’s not like he can talk, right? —, but he is and he doesn’t know how to stop .
It doesn’t make sense. He knows Kon loves M’gann. He knows M’gann is jealous of Tim. He knows he himself still loves Jason.
He doesn’t love Kon, not like he loves Jason. But then again, he doesn’t feel as comfortable with Jason as he does with Kon, not in the same way. And, in both cases, he doesn’t have the right to love them — Jason is his brother , and Kon is his fake boyfriend , emphasis on the ‘fake’, who’s in love with someone else.
“Well,” Artemis says, breaking the awkward silence between them. “We’re just gonna go, and pretend you never said that.”
She nods a goodbye at Tim, not acknowledging Kon, and the two girls leave.
He turns to his boyfriend, but the taller doesn’t look down at him. Instead, he’s staring and watching M’gann leave like he’s a puppy and she’s his owner.
Fuck .
Tim takes a deep breath and walks away from Kon, and he doesn’t let his heart break.
*
Halfway into the night, a few hours since Tim left Kon and kept avoiding him while staying with Cass and Steph and Cassie and Cissie, Artemis Nguyen approaches them.
“Look,” she says, pulling him away from his safe group of friends, “I know you don’t wanna hear this, but tell your boyfriend to back off.”
Tim frowns. “I—”
“No, listen .” She leans in to whisper in his ear, and she smells really good. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but this has to stop. It’s not healthy for either of them.” Her voice is rough, even as she whispers. “Kon spent the night at her place last night.”
Something in him — the foolish hope he’d been holding onto, that maybe he’d just read things wrong and that Kon wasn’t actually still in love with his ex, that maybe this whole thing would be enough for the two of them to finally snap out of it — snaps and drops and flies away.
“I’m sorry,” she says, reminding him that she’s still there and that they’re in public and that he’s wearing his dad’s precious kimono and all for what ? So Kon could look at him and not at M’gann for once? So that Jason can look at him and fall in love? Nothing seems to be enough. “M’gann didn’t wanna tell you, but someone has to.”
He’s confused, too, along with disappointed and angry and lonely. Because he’d have thought M’gann would have wanted to be the first to rub it in his face that Kon preferred her over him, but apparently not. And today, she’d acted way too nice compared to back at the party, and it’s not normal and he’s not used to her acting nice to him and it’s just… what is going on?
Artemis leaves him, and Tim is left just standing there, in the middle of prom. The girls are all on the dancefloor having fun with each other, and Cass and Steph are nowhere to be seen, and Jason and Rose are off on the corner trying to spike the punch, and Sebastian didn’t come and he just feels so… alone .
He’d been hoping, deep down, that this whole thing with Kon would be enough to make him forget Jason. He’d been hoping — like a fool — that his life would be like a movie, and that he and Kon would fall for each other slowly but surely, and that everything would be solved in the blink of an eye.
But real life isn’t quite like that. He’s still in love with Jason and Kon is still in love with M’gann, and he likes Kon a lot, but it’s not the same .
And then the music slows, and everything starts to slow as everyone gets their date and they start to have the romantic time of their life. Tim watches as Cass and Steph appear from the shadows and lean their foreheads onto each other, closing their eyes and pretend that they’re the only two people in the world. He watches as M’gann and Artemis take up so much of the room and yet none at all, looking like they’re so happy and free.
He even watches Jason and Rose as they reluctantly start dancing along to the music. It looks awkward, even from his biased ( jealous ) point of view, and the two of them don’t really… fit. Not as a couple, and certainly not when slow dancing. Both of them are all sharp edges and intensity, and this environment doesn’t fit them one bit.
Someone clears their throat next to Tim, and he doesn’t need to look to know it’s Kon.
“Shall we?” The other asks, a bit hesitant, and when Tim looks up at him he feels just… so much . “It’s pretty cliche, but, well—”
“I wanna go home.”
Kon blinks, surprised, and steps back to take a real look at Tim, probably checking to see if he’s being serious.
“Like, right now?”
Tim nods. “Yes. Take me home.”
“But I— we came here with Alfred.” Kon blinks again, confused. “I didn’t bring my car.”
“We’ll walk, then.” He starts walking away from the dance, and he can feel eyes on them but pays them no attention. “I just… wanna go.”
Kon follows him. “Yeah, yeah, we’ll go, but it’s just— you’ve been avoiding me the whole time, are you sure you’re okay? You wanna talk—”
“We’ll talk at home.”
The two of them make it out of the building, at which point they’re once again bombarded by paparazzi. Kon does his best to act as Tim’s personal bodyguard, shielding the shorter with his larger frame, but in the end he’s only so much bigger than him, and the reporters keep bugging them.
“Wanna run for it?” Kon asks.
Tim nods. “On three.”
From where they are, it’ll take them more than an hour to get to Wayne Manor, but they’ve got plenty of time. Besides, Tim could use the adrenaline to get his head in place.
They count down and quickly dash off, losing the reporters behind. Thanks to his karate lessons, he’s got good stamina, and he doubts Kon-el, captain of the swim team, will be tiring any time soon. Their outfits slow them down considerably, but it’s okay.
It’s a great feeling, the night wind in his face and his hair in the breeze and his lungs burning and his legs numb and his heart rate up in the skies. As they run, he has time to think about everything, but at the same time, he has no will to focus on anything in particular. It’s exactly the right kind of distraction he needs at the moment.
And then they’re reaching the Wayne Manor gates, and they finally stop.
As they both catch their breaths, he puts in the security code and the two of them quickly get in. Even though they ran and took some shortcuts, it won’t be long before the paparazzi figure out their location, and he wants to be safely in his room when that happens.
Alfred isn’t home, meaning he probably already left to pick up the others, meaning he probably has less than a half hour to talk to Kon, if he’s lucky. That isn’t even counting Bruce and Selina, both of whom might already be home, upstairs in their room.
He drags the other into the empty tea room and shuts the door. This way, they’re close enough to the front door to hear the others come in, but not close enough that it’d be easy to eavesdrop on their conversation.
As soon as the door closes, Kon turns to him with an expectant look. “Are we gonna talk now, or you wanna wait a little longer—”
“Shut up,” Tim says, and the other does, immediately. “I… I wanna get over Jason.”
Kon blinks. “ … Okay?”
“Do you wanna get over M’gann, or are you still— do you still wanna go back to her, when all of this is over?” He swallows. “Even though she’s with Artemis now…”
“ Tim .” The other frowns seriously. It’s the first time Tim’s seen him this close to angry, and he has to say he’s kind of scared. “Say what you wanna say.”
Tim looks up at him, and they both look like a mess. He’s probably ruined his dad’s old kimono, and it’s a good thing he bought (rather than rented) Kon’s suit, ‘cause it’s super wrinkly and even torn at places.
“I think…” He clears his throat. “I think I wanna fall in love with you.”
“Woah.” Kon frowns and steps away from him. “Tim, that’s… you’re in love with Jason . You can’t just… expect me to be your rebound or something.”
“Isn’t that what I am to you?” The shorter asks. “Am I not your rebound?”
The other shakes his head, still frowning. “That’s different.”
“ How? ”
“The goal was never to—” Kon grunts in frustration and runs a hand through his messy hair. “I never wanted to get over her, I wanted to make her jealous so she’d come back to me and we’d be alright again.”
Tim huffs. “So, what? You’re telling me you still wanna go back to her, even though both of you are clearly happier without each other?”
“What the fuck , Tim?” Kon scowls at him, offense clearly taken. “We are not better off without each other. I think you’re just confused because you just realized you and Jason were never meant to be, and now you’re taking it out on me.”
“That’s not—”
“You just said it!” The taller steps closer to him. “You said that you ‘wanna’ fall in love with me. Why do you think that is, huh? You wouldn’t be saying that shit if Bruce and Selina weren’t going to get married soon. You wouldn’t be saying that if Jason wasn’t about to become your step brother .” Kon’s hands end up on either side of his shoulders. “You’re in love with him, man, and it’s kinda obvious. I don’t know what to tell you, but falling in love with me isn’t gonna fucking solve your problem.”
Tim licks his lips and stands up straighter, meeting the other’s eyes. When they’re so close like this, their height difference really stands out, and he hates it.
“Don’t try to make this about me,” he says, narrowing his eyes. “We were talking about you and how you’re so fucking obsessed with the idea of M’gann that you just let her—”
“Dude, what is your problem ?” Kon’s grip on his shoulders tightens, and they’re so close they could kiss. “Is it that hard to believe that I’m in love with her? Love — not obsession, not some kind of unhealthy addiction to her, but actually love .”
Tim searches his eyes. “I—”
“Just because no one’s ever been in love with you doesn’t mean you can take out your frustration on me.” The words are sharp, but his voice isn’t. Kon’s eyes glance, so briefly, down at his lips. It’s gone before he knows it, but Tim saw it and he knows what it meant. “I… I don’t—”
Tim leans into him, just a bit, just to see if he’s not reading this wrong. Kon’s eyelids flutter and his lips part, just enough for him to get his confirmation.
The two of them kiss, and this time it’s not only fun — it’s everything Tim needs. It’s every tear unshed, every laugh unheard, every song unsung.
He really, really wants to fall in love with Kon-el.
It’s the way their lips move against each other, the way Kon bites on his lower lip just hard enough for it to be hot , the way the taller’s hands roam his face and torso and entire body. Tim is set on fire, and he really hopes he’s not the only one feeling this way.
And the thing is that he hears the knocks. He doesn’t think Kon does, judging by the way the other keeps kissing him like there’s no tomorrow, but Tim does and he chooses to ignore them because this is one of the only good things that have happened today and he just needs this.
“Maybe they’re in here—”
Tim and Kon pull away from each other just as Bruce’s voice stops and stutters. Both boys are flushed, their hair messy and their clothes dirty and unkempt, and there’s no disguising what they were doing.
“Oh.” Bruce looks between them, and behind him Tim makes out Jason and Selina and Cass. “Tim. Kon-el.”
Tim clears his throat and doesn’t dare look at Kon. “Bruce. I didn’t know you were home. We were just… we were having a private talk.”
The man makes room for the other three people to look at them, and there’s still no denying what they were doing. While Bruce looks physically pained, Selina has an amused tilt to her lips, and Cass just looks confused.
“Damn it,” Jason says, after no one else says anything. “ Damn it! ”
The aggressiveness in his voice startles everyone, but he just stares at Tim with a glare he hasn’t seen in a long time — not since he tried to kill him.
“Drop the fucking act already.” The older pushes past Bruce and makes his way into the tea room, straight to where Tim is standing. “It’s getting tiring. Don’t the two of you get sick of lying to everyone?”
Tim freezes. “W-what?”
Jason doesn’t answer, instead turning to Kon with the same glare. His Fila is long gone, showing off his lustrous locks and that white streak in his hair, but other than that he still looks as flawless as he did hours ago, before the prom.
“You.” He points at Kon, then at the door. “Get the fuck out.”
Kon blinks. “But—”
“ Now. ”
Reluctantly, Kon walks towards the door. With one last questioning glance at Tim, he leaves Wayne Manor.
“And you .” Jason squints at Tim. “We need to talk.”
Tim swallows around a dry throat. “I—”
“ No , Tim. You’ve been avoiding me for more than a month, and we both know why.”
The younger glances insecurely at Bruce and Selina, who are still standing in the doorway looking extremely confused. Cass is no longer there, probably having gone off to give Kon a ride back home.
“Jason…” Tim says, pleading. “Please not now .”
The older gives him no mercy, however. It’s so different from two years ago, when he’d tried to kill him, but at the same time it’s the same situation, all over again: Tim begging him to listen to him, and Jason not listening. It makes him angry, because he’d foolishly thought that, after all these years together, they’d grown and developed and changed .
But apparently not.
“I know about your feelings for me,” Jason says.
Tim can see it clearly: his metaphorical world, very slowly crumbling down from the top, its pieces falling to the ground.
He looks down, feeling so much come out. “ Jason— ”
“If you ever want us to go back to the way we were, we have to talk about this.” The older reaches out, almost like he’s gonna lift Tim’s head up, but then thinks twice and lets his arms hang at his sides. “You can’t keep avoiding me, Tim.”
The younger looks up, and it hurts so much because he knows that this is it. This is when he gets his heart broken for real.
And maybe this is the reason for all of this.
He can tell himself it’s because it’s wrong, and he can tell Kon it’s because he wants to get over Jason, and he can tell Cass it’s because they’re brothers. But he knows and they might know, too, that those aren’t the main reasons for this whole thing.
Because Tim and Jason knew each other before knowing they’d be related, and they got close before ever considering their parents’ situation . Because Jason liked Tim way before he ever saw him as a little brother.
Because Jason Todd-Kyle could never love him like that .
“Tim,” Bruce says.
And fuck , that’s right. He and Selina are still there, aren’t they?
“Tim,” the man repeats. “Your feelings for Jason?”
The younger doesn’t turn to him — he can’t . He can’t look at his father, disappointed in him. He can’t face the fact that he’s in love with Jason and that the other isn’t in love with him back. And, most importantly, he can’t let Bruce and Selina know about his feelings . Tim won’t ruin his family like this.
“No,” he says, still staring intently at Jason. He clears his throat and starts over. “ No . Not my ‘feelings for Jason’. There— there’s no such thing.”
Jason scoffs. “Are you fucking—”
“ No , Jason.”
He glares at the older, begging him to just understand .
If Bruce and Selina find out about his feelings, they’ll be devastated. Their perfect family will be shattered, and they’ll feel terrible even though it’s not their fault. If they find out about the email, it’ll be even worse: they’ll know exactly how he feels about the marriage. The two of them will have second doubts, and they’ll blame themselves for this, and their family will be ruined and Bruce will be alone again and it’ll all be Tim’s fault .
“I love you,” he tells Jason. “I love you. But it’s not like that.”
With all the courage he has left, he strides past Bruce and Selina and past the front door of Wayne Manor, and as he runs he wonders if this is how Kon felt, kicked out and abandoned.
At least Kon had Cass, then.
Right now, Tim has no one.
