Archive of Our Own ^beta

“...but shouldn't you be the Sun?”

Stopping, Michael turned his head to look back at Lucifer, the elegant movement of his long neck almost mesmerizing, and sent his little brother a small, charming smile.

“No,” was all he said before continuing on with his walk.

Lucifer heard a quiet chuckle and frowned at Michael’s back, not understanding what was so funny. Michael could be so weird sometimes. And mean, too. He knew that Lucifer didn’t like it when someone kept secrets away from him. With “someone” usually meaning Michael himself.

“Why not?” Lucifer asked, quickly catching up to him.

“Because you are.”

They reached another shelf. Michael grabbed one of the thick vines hanging from the ledge and effortlessly pulled himself up and climbed over the edge. Lucifer’s eyes followed him out of habit, his mind caught up in the matter at hand.  

“It doesn’t fit,” he murmured, almost as if to himself, and held up his hands.

Soon enough, Lucifer was being picked up from the ground, and with a big swing and a blur of vision, he landed right in front of Michael on the upper level. Their hands stayed connected, so Lucifer helped Michael pull himself up again. Not that he needed it - his legs could easily support both of their weight, even when Michael was hanging upside down from the ledge.

Michael smiled and sneaked his arms around Lucifer’s back.

“How so?”

Lucifer blinked and tried to collect his thoughts. It was hard to concentrate when Michael’s smiling face was right in front of you. Especially with such a view making for a background - the forest they’ve just traveled through outstretched far and wide in the horizon, like an endless maze watched over by the cloudless sky.

The Sun was still high, though not as high as the last time Lucifer checked. If it was only a little bit lower and Michael would shift a little bit to the right…

“Isn’t the Sun both older and larger than the Moon?” Lucifer asked, his eyes slowly focusing again.

“Yes.”

Lucifer knitted his eyebrows and put his hands on Michael’s chest - by now, he was practically sitting in Michael’s lap.

“Doesn’t it burn hot and red?” He pressed down gently with one of his hands, and the familiar grace answered him straight away. “Just like you do?”

A more neutral look appeared on Michael’s face and he hummed. Arms around Lucifer tightened and brought him closer, while Michael picked himself up from the ground. Once he did, he lowered Lucifer down again, so he could stand on his own, too, and Lucifer smiled at it, pleased. He didn’t like when Michael carried him around - he used to, but he wasn’t a baby anymore, now, was he?

“Yeah,” Michael replied, “it does.”

Then, he tilted his head, his face blank, and it was those moments that reminded Lucifer how much Michael and Father are actually alike.

“...but does it matter?”

“What do you mean?” Lucifer was actually confused by Michael’s words. Wasn’t that the whole point of their argument? Who fits better which role? Of course, their attributes matter!

Michael just shrugged and started to walk away. Lucifer huffed but followed after him anyway. Really, sometimes Michael doesn’t make any sense at all!

“Say,” Michael started once again, not giving Lucifer the time to sulk, “Would you love me less if I was the younger one?”

Lucifer’s eyes widened in offended surprise.

“No!” he shouted, “Where did that even come from?!”

“Would you love me less if I was smaller and weaker than you?

“No! Michael, what are you-”

“Would you love me less if I was cold and sharp instead of warm and soft?”

“No, please, stop. Micha-”

Suddenly there were hands on his shoulders and Lucifer closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He willed the tears away, feeling angry at himself for getting so upset over a few words. Sometimes, he wondered if it wasn’t a flaw in his design - feeling too much, too intense and too often for his own good. Feeling better, Lucifer reopened his eyes, only to see Michael’s own green ones. He was crouched down so they were on the same level.

“You are such a jerk… “ Lucifer pouted.

At that, Michael grinned a big and shameless smile, put his hands on Lucifer’s cheeks and leaned closer to kiss him on the forehead. When Lucifer huffed angrily, he repeated the gesture, and when it also didn’t buy Lucifer’s forgiveness, he started to kiss him all over his face till Lucifer gave in and slid his arms around Michael’s neck, basking in the affection.

Finally, when everything has been forgiven, Michael leaned away again.

“Do you know why you wouldn’t love me any less?” he asked, his voice close and gentle. “Because it doesn’t matter. Yes, it’s a part of who I am, and it’s a part of who you are, but it’s not important. Do you understand what I mean, little star?”

Lucifer frowned, thought about it, and nodded confidently, making Michael give him one more kiss. Then, he untangled Lucifer’s arms from his neck and was about to get up but Lucifer stopped his movements.

“Why am I the Sun?”

Michael smiled again, more soft and warm this time, though there was a confident touch to it.

“Because the Sun shines,” he said it like it was obvious from the beginning that this was the right answer, “Because it’s bright. Because it gives life, and warmth, and love.”

Lucifer stared into Michael’s eyes and the love he found there was almost choking. It burned his throat, set his insides on fire, and boiled the cool stream of his grace into a hot, scalding steam.

“But…” Lucifer started, unable to look away, “doesn’t the moon shine, too?”

“No,” Michael shook his head, “The Moon doesn’t shine on its own. It only reflect the light of the Sun. Or whatever happens to shine at it.”

For a moment, a heavy look flickered through Michael’s eyes and the spell was broken. Lucifer blinked, coming back to reality, and let go of Michael’s arm. Michael rubbed the skin where Lucifer dig his nails into. A blank expression returned to his face, but Lucifer didn’t mind. He didn’t need to constantly see it to knew it was there.

Michael stood up.

“Let’s go. We don’t want to get back to Father empty-handed, do we?”

Lucifer nodded, and when Michael turn around and started to walk, he followed.

Michael knows how to stay warm on his own, Father’s light will always shine on him stronger than his, but making him feel loved - that Lucifer can do always.