Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

[Rewritten on June 7th, 2025]

Bzzzzzzzzzz

…Why the hell is my alarm going off on summer break?

Wait, that's just my phone. Who's texting me?

I let out a groan at having to wake up, before I reach for my phone laying on the desk. I quickly took a look at the time, which displayed 8:30 AM. It's summer break, why am I being woken up so early?!

My eyes moved down to the text message, which displayed the sender's name, 'Yukino Yukinoshita'. Ah, right, we were sort of a thing now. Who would have thought that I, Hikigaya Hachiman, would have a girlfriend? Especially… her.

Still, why is she texting me at this time? I decided to read the message.

YY: Good morning, Hikigaya-kun.

...That's it? You seriously interrupted my sleep just to say good morning?! If I was a person who held grudges, you'd have seriously regretted your mistake! You should be thankful that I'm gracious enough to give you a second chance!

Oh well, it's Yukinoshita, so I'll forgive her. But again, why is she texting me this early? I decided to text her back about that.

HH: Oi, why did you text me so early?

While I waited for a response, I forcefully dragged myself out of bed. I'd love to fall asleep again, but who knows what Yukinoshita would do if she decided to contact Komachi. While I sure do love my cute sister, it seriously lowers her Komachi Points whenever she forcefully wakes me up. Then again, just seeing her face negates the loss!

I walked over to my closet and put on a white t-shirt. Thanks to my excellent foresight, I made sure to check the weather before I went to sleep. And unless the forecast lied to me again, it would be hot today.

...Maybe I should have checked my phone before putting on this shirt. Oh well, unless it's raining, I should be alright. On that note, I picked out a pair of shorts as well. Don't want to be out in my underwear, obviously.

I walked back to my bed and picked up my phone. Thankfully, Yukinoshita had already responded. Wow, looks like someone was eagerly waiting for my response~. If I wasn't your partner, I'd maybe have gotten the wrong idea, you knoooow?

Anyways, what did she say?

YY: I was merely ensuring that you wake up at a healthy time. After all, it is important that my partner be held up to the standards of my family. We cannot have you sleeping so late.

….Do you consider 8:30 healthy? I won't listen to the corporate slaves who insist on such an early waking time! And why do I feel like you were blushing while texting that? Granted, I would be too.

Jeez, this woman is going to be the death of me. She's my partner though, so I guess I don't mind that very much. Don't get the wrong idea though, that doesn't mean I want to die! I'm not like an Isekai protagonist who has the power to rewind time by dying. I'd like to stay alive 100% of the time, thank you.

Anyways, I guess I better respond to her.

HH: Seriously? I'm already a man of high quality! Any woman would be lucky to have a guy like me! But fine, I guess I'll go with it this once. Please don't do it at 8:30 in the morning. I still enjoy my sleep!

Welp, I guess it's time to go down-

Right as I turned around and faced my bedroom door, I noticed that there was a small black box sticking out of the bottom of my bed. Huh? I didn't notice this earlier? Then again, one of my 108 skills only includes human observation, not object observation. Maybe I should look into upgrading it?

I kneeled down and pulled out the box. It looked tightly sealed and difficult to open, which brought me some concerns. Why the hell was this under my bed? Don't tell me that this is a bomb waiting to blow?!

Ah wait, I'm not very important. Sure, I do have a partner and… plenty of acquaintances, but it's not like I have anyone who hates me. Wait, that's a lie. There's some people who still hate me after the Sagami incident from the festival last year. That happened so long ago, I honestly forgot the finer details. The point is, some people still hate me. But enough to send a literal bomb to my house and plant it under my bed? Highly unlikely.

Thankfully, I had scissors in my room that I could use to open the box. I stood up again and grabbed them from my desk. Before I used them, I briefly hesitated. Why should I even open up the box anyways? Eh, whatever, it's probably something from my parents or Komachi. Actually scratch that, probably not my dad. He's a complete daughter-con and would never even think of giving me anything. Not even on my birthday.

Still, I was curious, so I used the scissors to open the box. Inside the box were… three DVD cases and a piece of paper? Now what is this?

First, I looked at the three cases. Strangely, there was nothing on the cover, just blank space. Confused, I decided to open the case only to see a blank disc sitting on the inside.

Oi oi, did someone just give me some adult films?! If you're going to do that, do it over the internet! Er, I mean don't do it at all! But seriously, what is this? Maybe the paper will explain it better, because that would be really awkward if I put this into our DVD player and got something Komachi should never ever see!

I placed the cases back into the box and pulled out the paper. I began to read it.

Hello Hachiman! Or, I should say Hikigaya, since we don't even know each other! Seriously, why does Japan put the surname first?

Anyways, I bet you're wondering what this mysterious black box is! Well, guess what? You won't find out in this note! Hahahaha!

My eyebrow ticked. Whoever wrote this, they sounded extremely annoying. Definitely not someone I'd like to interact with anytime soon. Still, there was more, so I continued to read.

So why did I give you this box? Let's just call it… entertainment. I'm going to give you three days for you to bring a list of people together. It'll be at the end of this note! Once you have everyone together, place the disc into a DVD player. You'll then see what the contents of the DVD has. But make sure you have everyone, or else it won't work!

And if you don't do anything by the time the three days are up… well, I'll do it myself! Actually, I probably should have done that anyways, but oh well! It's up to you Hikigaya!

Good luck!

Below the last line was a list of names that I recognized. The person who wrote this must be crazy! How do they expect me to contact all of those people?! Even if I'm a former loner, it's not like I suddenly have the urge to talk!

Also, I'm calling bullshit on the DVD business. How the hell would a disc know how many people are around? That's not how it works! Did you really think you could trick me with that kind of blatantly fake note?

Oh well, I do have these three DVDs though. I guess I should check what's actually on it. Maybe it's some anime that Komachi would enjoy. Only one way to find out.

I picked up the box and opened up my bedroom door, before walking down the steps onto the lower floor. Before I entered the living room though, I smelled the scent of something… good!

I walked in and saw Komachi in the kitchen, wearing an apron. A small smile appeared on my face at the sight. Her cooking would forever satisfy my tastes. Please don't leave me!

Oh wait, Yukinoshita's cooking is pretty good too, isn't it? Hmm, what if we mixed their cooking together? I bet it would be heavenly!

"Yo Komachi," I called out. At my words, she turned around with a surprised expression.

"Onii-chan!" Komachi greeted me with a grin. "You're up earlier than usual! I didn't think Yuki-nee had that kind of effect on you!"

"Well, you aren't wrong." I said as I walked over to our tv. "That devil woman texted me at 8:30, forcing me to lose my precious sleep." She's lucky that I'm willing to forgive her!

"You shouldn't call your girlfriend such names!" Komachi said, her hands on her hips with a disappointed look. "Seriously, when will you finally start calling her by her first name?"

My face suddenly flushed in embarrassment. "W-We're just taking things one step at a time!" It was very weird to call anyone aside from Komachi by their first name. One day, I hope to get to that point with Yukinoshita. But that day is not today.

"Whatever you say," Komachi sighed, before her attention moved to the black box in my hands. "Onii-chan, what's that?" She asked with a head tilt. Too cute!

"It's a black box," I said in a deadpan tone as I placed it on the floor. "For some reason, it was under my bed this morning when I woke up. Do you have any idea who put it there?"

"Nope! Maybe it was mom and dad? What was inside it anyways?"

I debated about what to say, before I shrugged. "There were these three DVD cases with nothing on it. I brought this with me to see what was on the disc." I gestured to the box. "I'd advise you to look away, just in case it's something your cute face should never see."

"...Gross." Oi, you shouldn't be saying that about your brother! "But Onii-chan is Onii-chan, so it's okay!" That's not much better! "So there was nothing about what was on the disc?"

I shook my head as I sat down and grabbed one of the cases. "Nope. There was a paper that came with it, but it barely explained anything." I opened up the case and grabbed the disc. "By the way, Komachi, the food's fine, right?"

If this was a generic anime, then the female character would have panicked as she realized the food she worked so hard for had burnt into a crisp. But thankfully, we don't live in anime! Rather, Komachi confidently continued cooking.

"Of course, Onii-chan!" She said that with pride. "I'll never allow our meals to go burnt!"

I smiled as I placed the DVD into the player and closed it. "I have absolute confidence in your cooking skills. Ah, that must be worth a ton of Hachiman points!"

Komachi looked at me with a cheeky grin. "But the exchange rate to Komachi points is extremely low! You'll have to try a lot harder next time!"

I let out a loose laugh. No matter how long we have known each other for, I never got tired of our exchanges. I'll never trade our relationship for anything in the world.

Ah, looks like the DVD player has loaded the disc. The TV was currently displaying a black screen with the [Done] icon hovering in the top right corner. I continued to sit on the floor, ready to eject the disc if it decided to play something nefarious.

After a few seconds of waiting, the speakers suddenly fired up. On the screen, several words suddenly appeared.

"Checking for sufficient people within radius…"

Eh? What the hell is this? Komachi also stopped cooking for a moment and looked at the tv in confusion.

"Hachiman Hikigaya: Detected. 1/16."

"Komachi Hikigaya: Detected. 2/16."

I stood up in shock, reading the names that now showed up on the screen. Why were our names being shown on here?!

"ERROR: Insufficient number of people detected. Forcing ejection of Disc…"

And just like that, the DVD player suddenly opened up with this disc inside. I stared at it for a few moments, not moving a muscle. My brain had sort of fried itself.

"...Onii-chan?" Komachi cautiously called out to me. "W-What was that?"

Thankfully, my brain had returned to me at this point. "Uh…" Well, sort of. "I-I have no clue. It's like the disc was… sentient." Ugh, saying that about a disc felt wrong. "I'm not going to play it again for the rest of my life."

I grabbed the disc and felt sorely tempted to snap it in half, but decided against it. Instead, I placed it back in its case and put it into the box. "I'm taking this back upstairs, Komachi. Don't touch it, ok?"

She only gave a slow nod in response. It was clear that she was nervous about the mysterious box of DVDs. And frankly, who wouldn't be?

Once back in my room, I dropped the box in a secluded corner of my closet. I was not going to touch that thing. Screw what the note said!

Bzzzzzz

Oh, looks like Yukinoshita finally responded back. I pulled out my phone to check what she said.

YY: I suppose you might be right to some extent. Perhaps I will give you some leeway.

Wow, that's not what I expected. Then again, she's completely different from the devil woman she was back when I first joined the service club. My self-esteem gives thanks for that! Before my thoughts continued, another buzz came from the phone.

YY: 8:31.

...Never mind, she's still the same.

As the days went by, the memory of the DVD cases faded away into the depths of my mind. What? I had more important things to worry about than a mysterious black box! Either way, I mostly forgot about it. I did occasionally remember that it existed, but I quickly got rid of those thoughts. I'd rather never think about it again.

Three days after I first found the box, I went to sleep again. Ah~, no matter how exhausting my days get, my bed will always be there for me. Bed-chan, you are my hero!

I fell asleep, but not before the fleeting thought of the note from three days came back to mind. I wasn't bothered by it though. After all, what's the worst the sender can do? Strap me to a chair and force me to watch whatever was on that disc?

…

Ah~, I might have had the best sleep of my life. For the first time ever, my dream actually had a conclusive ending! It was about time!

...And I can't remember what it was about. Curse you, brain!

I opened my eyes, ready to take on the upcoming day. I was filled with energy right after waking up for the first time in my life. No idea why, but who cares! I jumped out of bed and landed on my bedroom floor. I absentmindedly noticed that it seemed really dark outside, but I simply assumed I woke up that early.

Looking back, how did I not notice that something was wrong? Because who the hell would be excited to wake up that early?! Something was seriously wrong, but I ignored it.

Anyways, I went to put on a t-shirt and shorts, just like I have the past couple of days. Once that was done, I walked to my desk and grabbed my phone. Strangely, there were no text messages from anyone this morning. That was an unusual occurrence for me at this point, although not unfamiliar at all. After all, it was only recently that I started getting actual text messages from other people.

I placed my phone in my pocket and opened up the bedroom door. I expected to see the hallway that I always see when I leave my room. So imagine my surprise when I was greeted by a large room instead.

…What? This was not what I expected at all when I woke up. I must still be dreaming right? Just to be sure, I pinched myself in the leg. Ouch, I definitely felt that. And I'm still dreaming somehow.

I slapped myself in the face. That didn't work. I did it again. That didn't work. I pinched myself one more time. That didn't work. Are you saying this is reality? That can't be. It's absurd. It's something straight out of a light novel.

But somehow I knew, no matter how much I hit myself, my vision wouldn't change. I would still be standing in a giant room.

I could feel myself starting to panic. Who wouldn't after seemingly being kidnapped from your own home? Where the hell am I? Shit! I-

I suddenly remembered that I walked out of my bedroom. I turned around and… my bedroom door was there. I walked to the doorway and looked around. I could see my own bed inside. It looked just as I left it last night. Nothing was out of the ordinary.

That only meant two things. One, my kidnapper took me from my home, copied my room to exact detail, then put me into the replicated room. Or two, my bedroom somehow got teleported somewhere else. Both are disturbing to think about. But which one was more realistic?

Well, the first one felt extremely convoluted, and unnecessary while the second one implied something supernatural. That was way too absurd! In such a situation though, I might have to consider it. Well, regardless of the answer, the question that had to be asked is: why?

I closed my eyes and crossed my arms in thought. Nothing was coming to mind. Hell, the only notable thing that happened recently was that business with the DVDs-

"And if you don't do anything by the time the three days are up… well, I'll do it myself! Actually, I probably should have done that anyways, but oh well! It's up to you, Hikigaya!"

Oh.

Well, shit.

My eyes were wide open now. If those cursed DVDs were truly the reason I was here, that meant…

For the first time, I actually bothered to look at my surroundings. The walls were wood colored and the back of the room had sixteen different looking doors. The ceiling was the same color as the walls. In addition to that… there were theatre seats. And there was a screen in the front of the room.

"Oi, what kind of god would do this?!" I suddenly yelled out into the… theater. Whoever brought me into this place, they had one goal: to force me and the others to watch whatever was on those DVDs. I didn't like that one bit.

"Ugh… why is Onii-chan yelling so early…"

A voice suddenly spoke from behind me. One that I knew very well. I turned out and saw my sister walking behind me, rubbing her eyes. When her eyes landed on my figure, they widened.

"Huh? Onii-chan? Why are you outside my room?" She said that in such a cute voice that my mood couldn't help but be brightened. Thank you Komachi!

"Your guess is as good as mine." I'm lying there, but I'm not ready to out myself yet.

"What do you mean by that?" Oh, come on! Don't tell me you're an alternate version of my sister that finds these kinds of occurrences completely normal! As if she heard my thoughts, Komachi's eyes finally wandered to our surroundings. "Onii-chan, why are we in a movie theatre?!"

"Like I said, your guess is as good as mine." Lies aside, it made me wonder what was in that DVD. Why was it important enough to take sixteen of us from our homes? Eh? Where did I get that number? The number of doors, duh! It was earlier in my monologue, brain!

Say, wasn't sixteen the number on that-

"Eh?! Why are Senpai and Rice-chan outside of my room?!"

I had my back turned to the rest of the room, so I didn't notice when one of the doors behind me opened. I slowly turned around, praying that I wouldn't get any more unlucky.

Standing there was Isshiki. And she was already dressed in something modest. Thank god. I don't know what would have happened if it was something… revealing.

…What am I supposed to say in this situation?! Thankfully, I didn't have to do anything, because Komachi did the job for me.

"Eek! Why are you here?!" For some reason, my sister decided to hide behind my back. I would comment on how cute it is, but I was more concerned about why she was hiding in the first place.

"D-Don't ask me that! You're two were the ones outside my room!" She pointed at us. Why do I have a feeling that things are going to end badly if I don't intervene? I decided to speak up.

"Oi, don't start arguing. Believe it or not, 'outside' your room isn't your house anymore." I gestured to the theatre we were standing in. "Don't ask why it's a theatre."

At my words, Isshiki widened her eyes and looked around the room in shock. "O-Oh…" She was silent for a few moments, before her expression suddenly became foxy as she turned to me. "What did you do this time, Senpai?"

"Why did you immediately assume that I have something to do with this?!" She's technically right that it's my fault, but I refuse to accept this targeted harassment!

"You didn't say no," commented another voice. The voice that I sometimes dreamed about. My own eyes widened when Yukinoshita walked towards us. She was dressed in a blue sundress not unlike the ones she wore on our various… d-dates. Damn it, she looks really good in that!

That said, I wasn't going to take that comment lightly! But before I could refute her, a blob suddenly appeared out of nowhere and stood right in front of me. What? That's a person?

"Hachiman!" Oh, it's Zaimokuza. "It is a pleasure to see you again! I was planning to ask you to read my newest manuscript today!" You asked me to read your recent one right before break started, how do you already have a new one? "Unfortunately, it appears that I left it outside of my room. So it looks like you will have to wait until we get out of here!" Why are you assuming I want to read it again?

I flawlessly ignored him and peeked over his shoulder, causing him to let out a cry of anguish. I loudly called out to the empty space beyond. "Who else is there? It's getting annoying with everyone interrupting our conversations!"

It was silent for a few moments, before three doors all opened at once. Were they listening in from the safety of their own rooms? That's a really smart idea, why didn't I do that? Oh right, I was the first one to enter the theater.

"...Good m-morning." A girl with pale blue hair walked in with a nervous looking expression. Her name was… shit, what was it? Honda? Toyota? No no, it started with a K. Kawa...something. I'll go with that for now.

"Saki-Saki! I didn't think you'd be here too!" Next to Kawasomething's door was a girl with brown bobbed hair and glasses. Huh, Ebina is here too? And she still gets along with the blue-haired girl? I'm surprised she can handle her yaoi fantasies.

Ebina ran over to the blue-haired girl and crushed her into a hug. Ouch. I'm glad I wasn't on the other end of that. I remember seeing her drag Kawasomething along during the few times I saw them, so this part wasn't a surprise to me. She looked very uncomfortable and tried to wiggle her way out, but to no avail. Who would have thought Ebina was a strong hugger?

The last door to open belonged to… ugh, Hayama. "Hello everyone," he said with that stupid smile of his. That guy just pisses me off to no end. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Yukinoshita also held a displeased expression at his entry. I never really learned what happened between them, but it's not any of my business.

"Hayama!" Oh, looks like Ebina noticed him. "I didn't expect for you to be the kind to hide behind a door!" she said with a laugh. Sounds like you don't know him well.

"Haha, I was just being cautious." Don't be so nonchalant about this! We're trapped in a theatre with all of these people! Does that thought not worry you?! Hayama opened his mouth to say something else, but he was interrupted by…

"My my~, I didn't think I would see you here, Hikigaya-kun." Oh no! Not her! Behind Yukinoshita appeared her devious older sister, Haruno. Of all the people that I hoped wouldn't show up, she was at the top of the list. Wait, am I already starting to accept this was normal?!

"Nee-san, please do not be annoying as usual," the younger yukinoshita chastised her sister. "Your antics will not be taken well in this situation." Ouch. Her insults, while lacking some of their bite, still have the potential to completely obliterate someone's self-esteem. It's a miracle Zaimokuza came out of her "criticisms" unharmed!

"Ow~. You're so mean, Yukino-chan!" She cried out with a pout. Then she flawlessly brushed off the insults and turned to the rest of us. "An interesting cast of… characters. I wonder who assembled them!" For some reason, Haruno turned her eyes to me. What?! You too?!

"You know that I would never do that," I said. You'll never catch me watching a movie with you and Hayama in the same room!

"That aside," Yukinoshita spoke up. "It appears there are more people who have not yet shown up." She rubbed her forehead. "This is bound to be a major headache."

As if in agreement with her words, another door opened up. Walking out of the room was an angel with silver hair. What? Did I say something wrong with that? I only speak the absolute truth!

"Umm… hi!" Listening to Totsuka's voice was like hearing heaven. Ah~, take me away!

"Onii-chan, you have a creepy expression on your face." And just like that, Komachi broke the illusion and returned me back to reality. I felt her lean up into my ear. "You should only be making that face at Yuki-nee!"

Thankfully, she whispered that so I was the only one who heard it, but it still caused my face to feel really hot. Komachi, that was seriously low on points! Before I could say anything out loud, two doors opened and revealed the occupants

"Hayato!" Oi, what's with everyone coming out after a few seconds apart?! Seriously, doesn't everyone have different sleep schedules? Oh wait, it probably has to do with whoever brought us to this place. This time it was Miura, the blonde haired woman who had a huge crush on Hayama. Who's going to be next? Tobe? Ha, just kidding-

"Hey Hayato! How's it going?" ...seriously?! Are these people messing with me?! Don't tell me his entire clique is here! That would be a nightmare!

...Ok, good. Looks like we're okay-

"Yahallo!" The door next to Tobe's slammed open, making me jump in surprise. It was Yuigahama, who still had her eyes closed. "What's for breakfast- EEK!" Oh, looks like she finally opened her eyes. "W-Why are you all here?"

"Do we look like we know?" I called out. Ugh, all of these people are just putting me in a bad mood. Can we please wrap up the introductions soon so we can move on?

As if they heard my thoughts, the final three doors opened, although one of them was slower than the rest. The first one to walk out was… Orimoto? That was a surprise. Well, at least I'm over what happened in middle school, so the sight of her wasn't as painful as it once was. She didn't say a word, but when she spotted our group, her eyes widened in shock.

"Oh… what's going on…" Huh? Is this really Shiromeguri? The real one would never sound that dead! Who are you?! "Eh? What's everyone doing here? Is this a party for me?!" Ah, there you are. But why was a party for you the first thing you thought of?

The last person was… Hiratsuka-sensei? Wait, what? My eyes widened in shock. She had left the school after last year, and I hadn't seen her since. For a moment, she looked shocked, before softly smiling at the others in the theater. If our ancient teacher is still single, I'll be very disappointed.

Right as I thought that, her eyes suddenly turned to me and she gave me a glare. "Hikigaya… are you thinking of something bad?" Is she an esper?! "For some reason, I really want to punch you right now." I didn't even think of anything bad! I merely said you were old and single, that's just the truth!

Before I could prostrate myself, she broke out into laughter. "Hahahaha! Man, it's really good to see you all again. Hope you've all been well."

"We sure have!" Yuigahama exclaimed.

Yukinoshita smiled as well. "It is good to see you again, Hiratsuka-sensei."

"Yeah… it is," I said with a smile. Yes, I'm smiling.

"Oh please, I'm not your sensei anymore," Hiratsuka replied good-naturedly. Then she looked at the other occupants. "I heard a little bit of it through the door, but what are you all doing here?" Hiratsuka asked everyone. Wait, did she seriously ask that after she threatened me? What are your priorities, woman?!

"That is what we are trying to find out, but we kept getting interrupted by… our new arrivals," Yukinoshita calmly replied. "However, it seems like everyone is now here. Thus, we can now properly discuss."

Hiratsuka nodded, then looked to her left, towards the theater screen. "Can't say I imagined a movie theater being the place I'd be kidnapped to."

"Ahaha," Hayama chuckled. Then he clapped his hands. "Well, shall we discuss?"

The others started crowding around, though I slowly stepped away from the group. Normally, I would have stuck around for that, since it actually directly impacted me. Two reasons why I didn't. One, I knew why we were here. Probably. And two, I was feeling this strange pull dragging me towards the theatre seats. I can't even make a joke about this, it was too strange.

Maybe I should investigate? Actually, I have the perfect excuse lined up!

"I'll be over here, looking around for clues," I called out to the others while pointing to the theatre seats. I didn't like the idea of following the pulling, but it was getting really annoying. So here I was, walking towards the seats while the others looked at me in confusion. Please stop, this is kind of embarrassing!

Soon enough, I had reached the back row of the seats. After that, the rows moved downwards, similar to a movie theatre, only that they were placed close together so the height difference between the first and last rows were minimal.

"Huh… there's a lot more than sixteen seats…" Whoever made this theatre just wasted a lot of money! Oh well, it's none of my business. As my eyes wandered over the seats, I noticed a singular seat in the front row that looked slightly different than the others.

All of the other seats were red colored and appeared to have the ability to recline. At least the maker got those right. The difference with the seat I noticed was that there were intricately drawn gold patterns placed along the armrests of the chair. How odd.

I decided to approach the chair, before something froze me in my tracks. Placed on the seat of the chair were three DVD cases. And just like the ones that were in my room, they looked like they completely lacked a cover. It can't be…

Sure, I strongly suspected that we were here because of those cursed DVDs, but getting confirmation that I was right wasn't as rewarding as one would expect. It truly meant that it was my fault that they were here.

Nono… maybe it's something else? Perhaps Hayama also got a set of DVDs and also refused to play them. Yes, it had to be that! Phew, I nearly convinced myself that I actually had anything to do with-

"Onii-chan, what's wrong? You've been staring at that chair for a while now…" Oh shit, was I being watched? I turned to my left and saw that Komachi and the service club were standing near the back row. They must have decided that the theatre was the area to look for answers.

"I-It's nothing. Just noticed that one of the chairs looks a little differently than the others." I pointed to the chair as I walked towards it. As much as I wanted to blame Hayama for this, I needed to be logical. There's no way he could have had anything to do with this.

Thanks to my superior hearing, however, I heard Yuigahama whisper to the other club members. "Hikki seems a little off, doesn't he?" I ignored it and came upon the chair.

I picked up the case and inspected it from all angles. I felt dread as I opened it up and saw the exact same disc that I put into our DVD player. No questions about it now. This was-

"Eh? Isn't that the creepy DVD you used that one time?" Komachi suddenly asked from behind me. Crap, I didn't want her to know now!

"What do you mean by that?" Yukinoshita asked. Yuighama and Isshiki looked at me expectantly. Do I really have to answer this?

Komachi looked a little nervous as she opened her mouth, but I beat her to the punch. "Basically, some loser decided it would be a brilliant idea to put a black box with these things in my room. I decided to test it out and ended up getting a weird… counter thing?" I was being purposely vague about it, but my sister foiled my plan.

"Don't forget that it listed off our names!"

"Huh? What does that mean?" Isshiki asked with a head tilt. Sorry kouhai, but you don't compare to Komachi's head tilts! Still, it's pretty impressive. A lower being would have fallen for it! Anyways, back to the subject.

I let out a sigh at the memory. I guess it won't hurt to mention everything that doesn't include the note. "When I put the disc into our DVD player, it listed off me and Komachi's names. As for that counter I mentioned, it showed a maximum of sixteen." More proof that the DVDs are why we are here, since there are sixteen doors. To make matters worse, everyone that's here was also on that list.

Apparently Yukinoshita made that same connection, because her eyes widened after I said that. Yuigahama, however, didn't pick up on it. "Eh? What makes that number so special?"

I let out another sigh. "Count the amount of people that are here. That'll explain it." Even an airhead like her would surely figure it out from that, right?

She seemed to suddenly take a focused expression as she mentally counted the people that had arrived. It took her a little longer than it would have taken me to do, but she eventually widened her eyes in shock. "Eh?! They're the same?!"

I opened my mouth to keep explaining what I could, but that's when the sense of control I had over this was completely wedged from me.

Finally! Sorry for the wait. We can now begin!

What the hell?! I looked around in a panic, wondering who the hell spoke. But no magical gods suddenly appeared in front of me. Next to me, the others appeared to also be looking around. Ok, good, I wasn't going crazy.

"W-What was that voice?" Komachi asked in a very nervous tone. Oi, don't make her so scared! Whoever you are, you'll regret this!

I apologize for the sudden intrusion! I'm speaking directly into your minds, so you won't be able to find me. Anyways, I think you all want answers, don't you? Just head over to the theatre and pick a seat!

Ugh, being told what to do by a god is awful, but okay. Huh, why am I accepting this situation so quickly? Is my mind being messed with?!

Ignoring those thoughts, I moved to pick a seat along the aisle, but before I could take a step, the voice stopped me.

Oh, by the way, Hikigaya. You must sit in the golden seat.

Just like before, I felt a sudden pull trying to drag me away from my current position. It was far stronger than the one earlier. So strong that I was actually dragged off my feet. My eyes widened as I abruptly flew through the air and smashed into the chair. Strangely, I felt no pain, but I still cried out in shock of the sudden event.

The people near me stared at me in surprise. They remained unmoving, which was a natural reaction for when your classmate suddenly got slammed into a chair like he was nothing.

"...I hate this." Seriously, what the hell was this god's game? I slumped into my chair, done with this stupid theatre. It hasn't even been that long either.

Please, ignore that. Now, the rest of you, choose any seat you wish!

"Onii-chan!" I felt my right hand being grasped by my sister. But I barely noticed it. I simply stared ahead at the screen while thinking of ways to curse this god. I didn't even notice that the seats around me were being taken. Well, not at first.

My left hand was grabbed by Yukinoshita, which snapped me out of my stupor. Whoa, what was that? I was very vengeful for a moment there. My mind's definitely being messed with...

I looked around my immediate surroundings to see who was sitting near me. To my disappointment, all the nearby seats were taken. Damn it, I wanted to be alone!

Still, it wasn't all bad. To my left was Yukinoshita, with Yuigahama sitting next to her. To my right was Komachi, while Isshiki sat next to my sister. For some reason, she was pouting. Who knows why?

Then right behind me was… Zaimokuza? I guess he barely knows anyone else here, so he probably wanted to be near me at least. To his right was an angel- er, Totsuka. Huh, no one else was sitting near him. Really? I would have done that immediately! To his left was Hiratsuka-sensei, who held a concerned look as she observed the theatre. I couldn't see if there were any others beyond her though.

Before I could see where Hayama's clique was sitting, I was once again interrupted by an infuriating voice.

Looks like everyone is ready! Hooray! Now I bet you all are curious as to why you're here, aren't you?

No one replied, but everyone had that thought in mind.

Well, you see here, I'm bored.

At those words, a chill went down my spine. From all of the light novels I've read, I learned that a bored god is a dangerous one. This was bad!

Oh, my bad! I just realized that I never introduced myself! Hmm, do you guys deserve to know my name?

You know what, how about you all just call me Mr. Voice! Or Voice-sama, in your language.

This was a guy?! Actually, they didn't sound like a girl either. They just sounded genderless, so I guess it's not too far-fetched. Either way, I refuse to refer to this god as a superior!

Some of you appear to be discontent with this… but oh well! Back onto our topic!

As I stated moments ago, I'm bored. So I was thinking of things that I wanted to do, when I got an idea!

Uh oh. Why am I getting a very bad feeling about this?

I decided to check out the multiverse! And in that process, I found a set of DVDs that made me quite curious! I watched them to see what it was about, and ended up having quite the experience!

So then I thought, what if a certain group of people watched it too? I wanted to see what the results of that would be!

Apparently the multiverse was a thing? That feels like a bombshell that I would react appropriately to. But that's not important right now! What was on those DVDs that made a god decide that a bunch of nobodies needed to watch them?

I originally gave them to Hikigaya here, in the hopes that he would follow the instructions and play them while in the comfort of someone's house! But to my dismay, he refused to bring people over!

"Eh? Hikki had instructions with this?" Yuigahama asked while turning her head to me. I also felt some other people staring at me from behind, but I ignored them. Rather, I decided to reply to her question.

"I… sort of did. But I wasn't about to call up everyone here by my own will! Especially not when dealing with those cursed DVDs!"

Yuigahama looked pensive, but didn't say a word.

Sigh, Hikigaya is stubborn. Well, it doesn't matter now, because you're all here! So now we can finally begin! Just put those discs in-

"Wait," Yukinoshita called out. "You never told us what was on those DVDs that you mentioned. Would it not be wise to tell us about them?"

Brilliant question! However, I want to keep it a surprise! So you'll have to wait until it starts before you find out! Now, Hikigaya, please place that first disc into the player. And don't bother stalling or breaking it, because I can just make you do it.

Damn it! I was planning to do that! Well, I wasn't going to disobey any gods anytime soon, so unfortunately I have to follow his command. I grudgingly pulled out the first case I picked up and grabbed the disc. That's when I realized that I had no idea where the player was.

"Oi, where's the player for this thing?" I called out.

Oops, forgot to pull it out! My bad!

Suddenly, right in front of my chair, a DVD player rose out of the ground. I raised an eyebrow at the design of it. Somehow, there was not a single wire sticking out of it. Without me doing anything, the disc tray opened up. With a sigh, I placed the disc onto the tray.

The tray retreated back into the DVD player and it sunk back into the ground. As that happened, the screen in front of the theatre suddenly fired up, showing flashes of light for a moment, before it turned black again. Then words suddenly appeared on the screen.

"Checking for sufficient people within radius…"

Oh, it's this thing again.

"Hachiman Hikigaya: Detected. 1/16."

"Komachi Hikigaya: Detected. 2/16."

"Yukino Yukinoshita: Detected. 3/16."

Huh, that part's new. Guess this is a person detector after all. Beside me, Yukinoshita gasped in surprise at the sight.

"Yui Yuigahama: Detected. 4/16."

"Eh? That's me!" Well duh. You're here watching this with us.

"Iroha Isshiki: Detected. 5/16."

"Ahh, this is scary~." For some reason, I can't trust that voice of yours.

"Yoshiteru Zaimokuza: Detected. 6/16."

"But of course! It is an honor to be one of the sixteen chosen to witness this glorious moment!" Shut up Zaimokuza.

"Saika Totsuka: Detected. 7/16."

"Wow, I haven't been to a movie theatre in a while!" Really? You should have asked me to come with you!

"Shizuka Hiratsuka: Detected. 8/16."

"Yes! Top half!" She pumped a fist in victory. I don't think you're taking this seriously at all…

"Saki Kawasaki: Detected. 9/16."

"Hina Ebina: Detected. 10/16."

"Look Saki-Saki, it's us!" I didn't bother looking back, but I thought I heard the sound of shaking, followed by... a slap? What's going on over there?!

"Kakeru Tobe: Detected. 11/16."

"Aw yeah! I'm excited to see the movie we're watching!"

"Hayato Hayama: Detected. 12/16."

"I hope this goes well today." Sounded fake as usual.

"Yumiko Miura: Detected. 13/16."

Surprisingly, she didn't say anything in response. I thought she would have made a comment about being listed after Hayama.

"Haruno Yukinoshita: Detected. 14/16."

She also didn't say anything, but I expected that. How? She just seemed like that type of person.

"Meguri Shiromeguri: Detected. 15/16."

"Haru-san, you've been awfully quiet… this should be exciting!" Eh? I didn't think she would make a comment on that. And she's been quiet the whole time? That's not terribly surprising, but I guess for Shiromeguri, it might be.

"Kaori Orimoto: Detected. 16/16."

"Haha… um, woo?" Wow, that was terrible. I internally winced at that reaction. I actually feel kind of bad for her, but I shook it off.

"All people are within the vicinity. All security barriers have been bypassed. Executing data launch…"

Well, whatever happens next, I need to be calm and logical. I have my sister and my partner next to me, plus people that I tolerate to an extent. Also can't forget the angel herself! Huh, something seemed wrong with that statement.

Have fun! I'll be watching, but I likely won't say a word! Enjoy the show!

A show, huh? It'll probably be some normie shit that even Komachi would hate. That was my thought initially, but I was proven wrong when the title of the show slowly faded onto the screen.

My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

I don't know why, but I have a very bad feeling about this.

Chapter Text

Orimoto Empty Empty Haruno Shiromeguri Empty

Empty Miura Hayama Tobe Ebina Kawasaki

Empty Empty Hiratsuka Zaimokuza Totsuka Empty

Empty Isshiki Komachi Hachiman Yukinoshita Yuigahama

Screen

Watching My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Terrible, As Expected

Episode 01

When the title of the show appeared on the screen, most of the people were confused. That included me.

"Hmm, I have never heard of this before." Yukinoshita held a hand to her chin, before she looked at me neutrally. "This sounds like the title of one of your pitiful light novels. Have you ever heard of it?"

Oi! Don't call my light novels pitiful! But she did make a good point. "Nope. Never heard of it in my life." I knew someone who might though.

I turned around and faced Zaimokuza, who was silently staring at the screen with his arms crossed. "Oi, Zaimokuza." He jumped in surprise, before he turned to me. "Ever heard of that title?"

"Ah, Hachiman! I appreciate you asking me! Unfortunately, I've never heard of this anime in my life!" What makes you think it's an- oh, wait, that's obvious. A light novel has never been adapted into something that wasn't an anime. After all, they all (most) originate from Japan.

I turned back to Yukinoshita with a shrug. Looks like even our resident chuunibyou didn't know anything about this. Oh right, didn't the voice mention something about looking at the multiverse? Perhaps it's a light novel from another world. Huh, I thought I'd be going crazy if I ever had that thought.

That begs the question though: Why the hell did a god want us to watch this?!

The title faded into the darkness behind it. Along with it, the lights around us slowly turned off, giving off an even bigger impression that we were in a movie theatre. Looks like the show was officially starting.

The screen opens to a view of the trees from the ground.

"Youth is a lie. It is nothing but evil."

"Eh? That sounds like Onii-chan!" Komachi exclaimed, before realization struck her. "Wait… is this…?"

My eyes widened his eyes in shock. I used to watch a lot of anime back in middle school. Nearly all of them had something in common: Whoever's internal monologue was heard first was the protagonist. And since that was my voice…

"Oi! Voice! What the hell is this?!" I stood up with my fists clenched. Don't tell me…!

"Hikki? Why is your voice there?" Yuigahama asked in confusion, before she widened her eyes and smiled. "I didn't know you were a voice actor!"

Before I could rebuke, Yukinoshita seemed to notice my composure breaking and cut in. "Hikigaya-kun. If you could recall, the voice claimed to have explored the multiverse. This could merely be an alternate universe where you became a voice actor."

"I don't know about that one, Yukinoshita." Hiratsuka-sensei abruptly cut in with a serious expression. "For some reason, I feel like I've heard those words Hikigaya said up there."

"And besides, senpai always says those kinds of things!" Isshiki exclaimed. "This one just happens to have a job!"

"What's with that insult?!" I cried out.

Behind me, Zaimokuza gave a thumbs up. "Well done Hachiman! You've finally reached the point of being an anime protagonist!"

"Y-Yeah! Good job Hachiman!"

I ignored both of their comments (I'm sorry Totsuka!) and started thinking. Me being a voice actor is probably the more logical thought. And yet… those words definitely remind me of something...

Behind the group in the front rows, Hayama's clique was watching the screen with various expressions.

"Huh? Hikitani-kun is speaking? Wow! That's cool!" Tobe exclaimed with a fist in the air. "What do you think this is about Hayama?"

"Hmm, I don't know. Let's wait and see what Voice-sama wants to show us," Hayama said, still smiling. Internally, however, he had his suspicions. I heard Yukino's theory about this being a voice actor. That would make sense, but I'm thinking it might be something else.

Kawasaki said nothing, opting to continue watching the screen with her full attention. She had the feeling that whatever was shown, it would be important. Ebina, on the other hand…

"Oh! Is this finally the Hikitani x Hayama content I've been wanting?!" Just the thought of that gave her a nosebleed. It made Kawasaki wonder how she was still even alive after all of the blood loss.

Next to Hayama, Miura had a slightly bored expression as she watched the screen. It's just Hikio's voice. Like, what is there to get excited about?

Behind that group, Haruno was watching the screen with interested eyes. Like Hayama, she suspected that there was something more to this than it being a voice actor from another world. The same couldn't be said for Shiromeguri, who was imagining what it would be like for Hikigaya to be voicing her favorite characters in movies. Ooh! That one would be cool! Not him though, he needs to be more lively!

Finally, Orimoto watched the screen while feeling out of place. Unlike everyone else in the theatre, she was sitting by her lonesome. The only ones she would have considered sitting with were Hikigaya and Hayama, but both of them were surrounded. All of the open seats were also next to people who she felt like staying away from. Why am I here for this?

A short glimpse of dead fish eyes is seen as it switches from a view of a group of guys to a… suspicious view of a girl.

"Pervert Onii-chan!"

The comment made by my sister was ignored by me. I had already discarded the voice actor theory. How could I not know who owns those eyes?

A high schooler lets out a short laugh and stands up with a smirk. The camera zooms out to reveal that he was in a library. As he walks out, a group of girls are talking and laughing.

"Those who rejoice in youth deceive themselves and those around them, accepting in full the circumstances that devour them."

My eyes widened in recognition. I remembered those words from… quite a long time ago. It was what led me to my current situation, after all.

Hiratsuka also widened her eyes. That's the essay he wrote, isn't it? What is this…?

Meanwhile, the others were surprised to see Hachiman and the area he was in.

"E-Eh? Isn't that Soubu?" Isshiki recognized the library shown on screen. Why is that being shown? Behind her, Miura finally took interest in the viewing, as she realized that this likely was not something fake.

"My my, is this what I think it is?" Haruno had a predatory expression that many would run away from. Next to her, Shiromeguri was still slightly confused.

The scene switches to a girl dropping her books, but another student comes in to help pick them up. Meanwhile, the guy walks past the two.

"In the face of the word 'youth,' they will twist any common interpretation or accepted notion out of recognition."

"W-What?" "Huh?" Several people expressed their confusion.

Various shots of different sports are shown, before it shows some students leaving the school and hanging out.

"Huh? Is that me?" Totsuka observed when it showed him playing tennis for a brief second. "W-What is this?"

"In their minds, lies, secrets, sins and failure are nothing more than the spice of youth."

"I-Is this how you think, Hikki?"

I was still shocked from the events on the screen, but I managed to croak something out. "U-Uh… n-not exactly…"

The screen moves to a very brief shot of a door, before switching to a view from the school roof. Our protagonist is shown with the top half of his hair off-screen.

"If failure is truly the proof of one's youth..."

A girl walks out from the hallway behind him and appears to wave at him, before running past and meeting her friend.

"Then is there not something abnormal about one who fails at making friends, if he is not still in the midst of his youth?"

At the words being said on the screen, everyone had different feelings.

"Onii-chan? I thought you had plenty of friends." Komachi said, slightly more subdued than usual. Was this how her brother truly thought? Sure, she might have lived with him for years, but this was something he should have gotten out of thinking about!

Meanwhile, the others in his row had turned to look at him with disappointed expressions. The way he was saying was recognizable to them, but it had been a while since they heard something to this degree out of his mouth.

Behind them, Hayama held a neutral expression, but he was very curious to finally see Hikigaya's way of thinking. He could now see what his true thoughts were, and how he got to this point. What happened to you?

For once, the people next to him made no words, completely captured in what was being shown. It was way beyond anything that they ever thought about.

Two other students run into the high-schooler and make him stumble. They apologize and run off, while the protagonist remains unmoving.

"But I am sure none of them would admit to this. It is all a double standard."

He picks up a paper that has fallen to the ground, revealing his whole face.

"My conclusion is this: All you fools who delight in youth…"

"Drop dead."

"Hahahahahahaha! Oh my god, Hikigaya-kun, you're hilarious!" Haruno cried out from the top row. She was hunched over in laughter. "This is so interesting!" For some reason, I shivered at her words.

The others, however, weren't amused at what occurred.

"Hikigaya-kun, care to explain this?" Yukinoshita said with a very serious expression. "I do think that you would know better than to say this garbage now." Everyone else also looked at me with concerned expressions

"Wait, wait! Let me explain!" I exclaimed, waving my arms. "That's the essay I wrote that got me forced into the Service Club! It's over a year old at this point!" I've abandoned most of those thoughts! Well, some of it still rings true, but I can't be judged for this!

Her expression lightened up. "O-Oh. My apologies…" She looked down in shame for accusing him of thinking that way, even after everything they had gone through. Heh, so cute.

Next to Hachiman, Komachi felt a sense of relief. Thank goodness. She would always love his brother, but the time when he thought cynically was… a dark time.

Hayama was surprised at the sudden statement shown on screen, not expecting it. When he heard his words from the front row however, it made sense. You used to think so… harshly of people. What got you to that point?

Tobe was shocked to hear the words coming out of the screen. But then he realized that it fit with how Hikitani acted before and during the cultural festival. "Man, Hikitani sure seems really rude here!"

Orimoto had widened her eyes. He's acting completely different than I remember. Why is that?

Before any more thoughts could be thought of, a song starts playing from the speakers, distracting them from the previous statement.

OST: Yukitoki

A classroom with tables stacked in the back is shown. On the left is a long table, with two chairs shown. Next to the window is a desk with a blue bag sitting on it.

"Oh ho ho! Is this what I think it is?" Zaimokuza said with a large grin on his face.

The camera switches to show a chair with a small book laying on top of it.

Three character's bodies and faces are shown from different angles, before it switches to a circle with flowers inside. The circle splits into five, showing different images, before they merge back together.

My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected

Yuigahama was shocked at what it showed. "Me and Yukinon are in this?"

"...It appears so. But I'm still slightly unsure what this is about." Yukinoshita placed a hand on her chin in thought. "Do you have any ideas, Hikigaya-kun?"

I thought about it for a quick moment. "I'm pretty sure this is about me." I got some weird looks at that. "Oi! Look, the first scene we saw was me monologuing. One rule about anime that's almost always constant: the first person to monologue is the protagonist. "

"Correct! Hachiman here is speaking only the truth!" Zaimozuka jumped in my defense. "Let's also not forget: the style of the opening, combined with the title clearly indicates that this is a romantic comedy!"

Isshiki perked up at his statement. "Huh? So senpai's life is a romcom?" That… strangely made sense.

"Wait, wait! This might not even be the current me!" I wisely pointed out. Maybe it's an alternate version where I don't join the service club and I meet the girls through some other method? For some reason, the thought of that pisses me off.

"I-I guess we'll have to see?" Totsuka nervously smiled, which instantly calmed me. Ah~, you're as beautiful as ever!

Hikigaya Hachiman is sitting by his lonesome in a green-tinted classroom, while everyone else is talking around him.

"Huh? Why is he the only one colored?" Shiromeguri asked. Unfortunately for her, no one answered the question.

Is that how you saw the world before you met them? Hayama leaned over with his hands held together.

Orimoto, for some unknown reason, started feeling guilty at the scene shown. H-Huh, what is this?

Yukinoshita Yukino is shown grabbing items out of her locker, while everything around her is purple tinted.

"Yukino is also the only one colored here too!" Isshiki pointed out. Yeah, we can all see that. I'm interested to know why both of us had those tints...

Haruno leaned back in her chair with a neutral expression. You were the same as him, huh?

Another girl is walking up the stairs. The camera zooms out, revealing it to be Yuigahama Yui.

"At least this seems to portray Yui just fine," Miura commented. "But why did she not, like, have the same tinted look as the other two?"

Kawasaki stared at her with a slightly surprised look. She hasn't figured it out? As a loner, she figured out what the tints are supposed to mean. Oh, she never had to feel like that, huh?

Hachiman, Yukino and Yui are shown walking in random directions from different angles, before switching to a view of a guy and a girl about to run into each other.

Numerous different colored raindrops fall above Hachiman, who is alone in a patch of dirt. The camera switches to a view of Yukino with her eyes blocked by a few white flowers. It again switches, this time to a view of Yui slowly dancing around some pink flowers.

"What does this part mean?" asked Totsuka. "I-I mean… they're cute flowers, but w-why the color choice?"

I have no- actually, wait. "Pink goes with Yuigahama's hair color," I explained. "I… don't know about the white flowers though." And I have no clue what the scene means either. These double meanings are frustrating!

The angel nodded. "That makes sense!"

A raindrop quickly falls, sprouting a pink flower that gets quickly swept away by a flurry of pink and white flowers. This is followed by the camera circling around Yukino, then Yui, before landing on Hachiman.

"I don't see Hayama!" Ebina cried out. "He needs to be right there, standing next to Hikitani-kun! Why is he not there?!" She put her head in her hands, despairing over the fact that this was likely not a Hikigaya x Hayama show.

"Ebina-san? The opening isn't over yet…" Shiromeguri hesitantly said as she leaned over to their row. "And even if it was, why do you want to see them together so badly?"

She never got a reply to that question.

A quick shot of Hiratsuka is shown, before it cuts to a shot of Totsuka and Komachi looking at the camera. After this, a picture of Kawasaki, Hayama, Ebina, Miura and Tobe is shown, along with Yamato and Ooka.

"Well, I never thought I'd ever show up in an anime opening," Hiratsuka said, internally congratulating herself.

Komachi looked at the screen with shining eyes. "Onii-chan! I'm right there!" Ah, cute as always, little sister! I patted her head as onii-chan mode took over my actions.

"Yo! Look Hayato, we're on the screen!" Tobe excitedly said, pointing to the screen. "I guess we'll be showing up here soon, eh?"

"Yeah… I think we will." Hayama wasn't exactly expecting this, but it only proved his theory correct. "It is too bad that Yamato and Ooka couldn't watch this with us."

Kawasaki was surprised to see herself on the screen. She didn't think that she was important enough to show up on an opening. And I'm sitting over by myself there as well.

It switches to a video of Zaimokuza making a pose, before falling over on his back. It's followed by Hachiman taking a step back in surprise. It's revealed that he ran into Yukino, which is followed by Yui giving her a hug.

"Huh? Where am I?" Isshiki asked with a frown. "Senpai~, why am I not there?"

"Don't be a brat, Isshiki," I replied, my onii-chan mode turning on at half-power. "I didn't make this stupid anime, so how would I know?"

"Hikigaya-kun~, Why am I not there?" Haruno called out from the top, having overheard Isshiki's question. However, her tone sounded a little scarier. I'll just avoid answering it and hope for the best.

Hachiman, Yui and Yukino are shown alone on the screen for a few seconds, before it cuts to the three of them in the Service Club, talking like they normally do. It ends on a view of the blue bag from the start.

"Bravo!" Zaimokuza suddenly stood up and started rapidly clapping, getting weird looks from everyone else in the process. "A brilliant opening! I knew you could make something well constructed, Hachiman! The song was well constructed! The visuals were well animated! I approve!"

...I don't disagree with you, but the way you said that was really creepy. Also, what do you mean I made that? Do I look like an animator?

"Very good point, Zaimokuza!" Hiratsuka also stood up with a smile. "This clearly sets the tone for the future of the series!"

"What's that supposed to mean, Hiratsuka-sensei?" Komachi asked with a head tilt. She had seen much less anime than her brother, so everything was going over her head.

"You'll see! While we had a unique introduction, I predict that the next scene will be something perfectly ordinary from romantic comedies! Perhaps a scene of Hachiman sitting in a classroom while a new transfer student that is really the heroine is introduced!" Zaimokuza declares, his eyes glowing.

"..." Komachi only looked more confused. Not only that, Totsuka was looking at Zaimokuza with a worried expression. How crazy do you have to be to have him looking at you like that?!

"Just ignore him," I told my sister. "Besides, are we really nitpicking this? It's entirely possible that we're watching my own life." Do you know how bad that would be for my embarrassment?! "By extension, that might include you all."

"A-Are you sure Hikki?" Yuigahama asked, holding a nervous smile on her face. "Is this really-"

"We are still lacking some information, but trying to convince ourselves that this isn't real is just running away," I interrupted her with a serious expression. "In many cases, a god's only goal is entertainment. Otherwise, why did we specifically get taken?"

The room was silent for a moment, with everyone looking at me in bewilderment.

"...I hate to say it, but Hikigaya-kun makes a fair point." Yukinoshita was the first to break the silence. "Although, I somehow doubt your claim that a god's only goal is entertainment."

"Like you would know," Miura mumbled. However, due to the silence of the room, it was heard by everyone.

"My, do you have something you want to say, Miura-san?" Yukinoshita asked in a dangerous tone, turning to look at the blonde haired girl.

"Huuh? What do you want me to say? That's you're always right?" She glared back at her. Oi, why are you two so hostile towards each other?! I thought you two got along pretty well! Either way, I already knew that if no one stopped them, then this theatre will become a crater very soon! Thankfully, Hayama, in his never-ending glory, stepped in.

"Now now, relax girls." He stood up and waved his hands up and down. "We need to continue watching this show, don't we? Why don't we talk about this later, when we are more open-minded?" For extra measure, he put on his smile.

Miura quickly backed off, not wishing to upset Hayama. Yukinoshita didn't care for a word about what he said, but she knew arguing would not be a wise move right now, so she turned back to face the screen. With everyone's focus back, it continued to play.

"You're the one who needs to drop dead."

Several people got whiplash from the sudden change in tone from the opening. Me, however...

"Oi?!" It's starting here?! Actually, with my monologue at the beginning, that makes sense. Whoever made this part did a good job!

"Hiratsuka-sensei! That's so mean!" Komachi cried out. My teacher didn't bother to respond to that.

A view of Chiba Municipal Soubu High School is shown. The sign for the school is shown on the bottom left. The camera switches to Hiratsuka holding Hachiman's essay in front of him.

"Hikigaya, what was the topic I assigned to you in class?"

He nervously looked off to the side, but pushed forward.

"Well… It was an essay about looking back on our high school days."

"Hahahahaha!" Once again, Haruno burst into laughter. "You- pfft- call that looking back to your high school days?!"

Yukinoshita wasn't much better. "That was just creepy and gross, Hikigerma-kun." Ouch. It's a good thing I've defended myself against your insults!

I didn't notice it at the time, but Totsuka was shocked at my words. His illusion of me had begun breaking during my monologue, but it had shattered here. H-Hachiman… you're scary…

In the back row, Orimoto flinched. She was surprised to hear how cynical he thought about high school in general. Once again, she had to ask herself how he became this way.

"And how did that lead you to write such a smart-ass essay?" She placed the essay on the table. "What is this? How did it result in this?"

"Well…"

"Honestly… You have eyes like a dead fish."

"What does that have to do with the essay?" Miura asked Hiratsuka in confusion. She remembered writing that essay. It was one of the easiest assignments she got to do. The fact Hikio got in trouble for his writing is… admittedly kind of funny.

"Heh, I can't speak for past me, but I think I needed to point that out." Seriously? You're a real demon woman, you know?

"Do I look that rich in omega-3s?" He gave a smirk. "Makes me sound smart."

"Omega.. 3s?" Yuigahama asked, confused at the word.

Yukinoshita, the genius she is, had an answer. "Omega-3s are nutrients that assist you in building and maintaining a healthy body. Of course, Hikigaya-kun is using the term sarcastically, as his eyes would give anyone the wrong idea about him."

"Oi!" Don't be so rude to my eyes! Apologize to them!

A dark expression took over Hiratsuka's face as she gave a glare to Hachiman. "Be serious."

"Uh, but I am looking back on my high school days, like you said. Isn't that how most high school kids think these days?"

I felt several people glancing at me from behind, but I flawlessly ignored them. Well, except for one.

"U-Um… Hachiman? I don't think that way…" Totsuka nervously stated.

"...Y-Yeah, I know that n-now." What's with my stuttering?!

"Quit spitting hairs, brat."

"Brat? Well, from the perspective of someone your age, I guess I am-"

As he was speaking, Hiratsuka abruptly stood up and threw a punch that zoomed past Hachiman's head. A dark purple aura appears around her as she begins speaking.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you that you never talk about a woman's age?"

"Onii-chan!" My sister looked at me with disappointment. "I've told you about this before! You're lucky that Yuki-nee sees you for who you truly are. Ah, that must have been worth a ton of points!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever." I was more concerned about the teacher sitting behind us, who was looking kind of scary.

"Whoa, I have some really cool effects there," Hiratsuka commented with a devilish grin. "I wish I could have that in real life. It would make my teaching much more effective." Actually, I think it would make it even scarier than it already is!

She pulled her fist away from the high-schooler, making him let out a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry. I'll rewrite it."

Instead of nodding in affirmative, his teacher had a different idea in mind. "Come with me," she said with a smile.

Yukinoshita's eyes widened when she remembered what Hachiman said not too long ago. "Hiratsuka-sensei, is this when you got the idea to bring Hikigaya-kun to the service club?"

"Yup." She nodded. While I don't regret joining it, it was still really annoying at the time. "Do you think it was a bad idea?"

"It was… u-um, a good i-idea, actually…" For some reason, Yukinoshita's face turned very red. S-She looks so cute like that! That was a critical hit!

Some of the other people in the theatre were internally glad that they weren't forced into being a club just for writing a bad essay. Some wished that they could have met a cute girl that easily. And some didn't care either way.

The camera cuts to Hiratsuka opening a door, with Hachiman right behind. It shows various parts of the room, such as the curtain blowing in the wind and a bunch of stacked desks.

A glimpse of a girl's hair is shown, before the camera zooms out to reveal Yukinoshita, sitting in a chair by herself. She appears to be reading a book. The camera cuts back and forth between her and Hachiman, before she finally looks up.

"Hiratsuka-sensei. I believed I asked you to knock before entering."

"You never respond, even when I do knock."

"You always come in before I have a chance to respond." She looks towards the teacher and notices Hachiman. "And? Who's the space case?"

"You're already insulting senpai?" Isshiki asked curiously.

"She insults everyone she meets," I explained, having recovered from the attack. It's the truth! You can't deny it!

...Huh? She's not denying it? Curious, I looked over to Yukinoshita and saw that her eyes were widened. Has she not recovered from her blushing?

"I-I remember this," she mumbled.

Hachiman makes a half-angry expression at the insult. "I know this girl. International liberal arts, class J." The camera switches to a view of the classroom. "The class is 90% girls, they score higher than average, and it is known as quite a colorful class."

The screen shows a new girl walking into the room. "And the one with the most conspicuous color of the lot is… Yukinoshita Yukino. Everyone in the school knows her."

"Is that so?" Haruno mused, talking to herself. Her seatmate, however, thought she was asking a question.

"Yeah!" Shiromeguri raised an arm in the air. "After all, she's your sister! Plus, the Yukinoshitas are a famous family!"

"She's also a cutie!" Tobe chimed in, overhearing her. "It makes sense why everyone knows her!"

Huh, so you already knew her? Hayama wasn't very surprised to hear that. Ebina, on the other hand...

"Hayama! You should have started your own club and then Hikitani-kun would have joined it! Then a beautiful relationship could have started!" A line of blood ran down her nose, but it didn't get far before she was slapped in the face.

"Quit saying dirty things like that!" Kawasaki shouted. She just wanted to watch what happened! And… maybe see what he meant by that.

Hachiman has a serious expression when Hiratsuka cuts in. "He's looking to join your club."

Komachi tilted her head in confusion. "He was?"

"Oi, did you forget what I said earlier?" Geez, my sister can act airheaded a lot. "I was forced into it."

"Oh yeah! Onii-chan wouldn't have ever joined a club willingly!" ...True.

He puts a hand on his head. "Uh, I'm Hikigaya Hachiman from class 2-F. Er… What do you mean, I'm looking to join?"

Hiratsuka glances back at her student. "I'm ordering you to join this club as punishment for your smart-ass essay. No objections, arguments, protests, questions, or backtalk."

"H-Hiratsuka-sensei can be scary…" Totsuka whimpered.

She turns back to Yukinoshita. "So, as I'm sure you can see, his spirit is as rotten as the look in his eyes. Which makes him a perpetually lonely, pathetic soul. In this club, you will rectify his contrary, solitary nature. That's my request."

"And I'd say you did a great job, Yukinoshita!" Hiratsuka gave a thumbs up. "Look at him now!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I mumbled out. I can't really deny that statement though.

Orimoto let a small smirk show on her face. Heh, his teacher's pretty funny.

"I decline." Yukinoshita covers her chest, as if she was protecting her modesty. "Looking at the ulterior motives behind his lewd eyes makes me fear for my life."

"You, like, don't have anything to cover." Miura apparently was still in a sour mood.

"My my~, someone's not happy," Haruno teasingly said. "Even if it's true, don't be too mean to Yukino-chan!"

Yukinoshita stared at her sister with a betrayed look, while Miura looked smug.

"I am not looking at those modest breasts of hers." Hachiman makes frustrated movements in the background. "Seriously, I'm not."

The betrayed look moved to Hachiman."Y-You..!" How could he?!

"Don't look at me with those scary eyes!" I cowered in fear. "You can't blame me for this!" It's not my fault that your chest is like this! Er- shut up brain!

"Even your boyfriend agrees!" Oi, quit making the situation worse, Miura! Things are going to get out of control at this point! Someone needs to stop this!

As if they heard my thoughts, the blue haired girl stood up. "Shut up!" she shouted. "Stop arguing like a bunch of petty teenagers and watch the stupid show!"

That caused the theatre to fall silent, with everyone looking at Kawasaki in shock. "U-Um, t-thanks!" She sat back down, looking terribly embarrassed. Wow, that wasn't what I expected. You did good, Kawasomething-san!

Thankfully, no one bothered to bring it up again, so everyone's attention was back on the screen.

"Don't worry." Hiratsuka speaks up again. "He has a good grasp on risk and return and self-preservation. He wouldn't do anything worthy of criminal punishment. You can trust his petty thug nature."

"Uh, I'd rather you just say that I can make rational decisions…"

"Mhm! That's why I wanted to see him on the student council!" Shiromeguri commented. "Maybe not as president though…"

Eh? Since when did you want me on the student council? And what's wrong with me being president? Not that I'd take the job anyways.

Hikigaya on the student council…? Orimoto thought about it for a moment, before giggling softly. Haha, I can't really imagine it. Then again, he did a pretty good job with Tanamawa.

The camera moves to Yukinoshita again. "Petty thug? Of course."

"She's not even listening and she's convinced?"

"You did seem like a thug at the time, Hikki," Yuigahama commented, a finger on her chin. That hurts! "But I knew you weren't!" Thanks for the vote of confidence…

"Heh, a thug as the protagonist in a romcom?" Zaimokuza used his finger to shift his glasses upwards. "Preposterous! While I would not be against the idea, the idea would not appeal to the masses!" That's a lot of unnecessary words. Just say that I'm not a thug!

"Well, if it's your request, I can't very well refuse." She turns to Hiratsuka. "I understand."

Hiratsuka seems a bit surprised, before she gives a small smile. "Good." She turns around and begins walking out of the room. "Okay, take care of him, Yukinoshita."

Once she leaves, the two are left alone in the room. The camera switches between various random shots of the two and the clubroom. This is before it suddenly cuts to a close up of Hachiman.

"Come on, are you serious? What just happened?"

"Hikitani-kun is all alone with Yukinoshita-san!" Tobe cried out. "I bet he did something terrible to her!" That earned him a glare from Yukinoshita, but he didn't seem to notice it.

"Now now, don't be so harsh Tobe," Hayama cut in with his normal smile. "Hikitani-kun wouldn't do something so terrible. I trust him." Ah, at least Hayama doesn't irrationally think I'm the type to harass someone.

The camera abruptly switches to a film-reel, showing a scene of a curtain blowing.

"A bittersweet memory suddenly came back to me."

"Oh? Now what's this?" Haruno leaned forward in interest. Hayama did the same, curious to see what his past was like.

Komachi's eyes widened. She didn't think that she would get to see her brother's middle school memories. The same went for the people around her, not expecting this.

Orimoto froze up. Is it going to show the time he confessed to me?

And most importantly: "Why is the screen showing this?!" No! Not my embarrassing memories! This is a loner's worst nightmare! I tried to will the screen to stop right then and there, but it didn't work.

It reveals a classroom in the afternoon, in which Hachiman and another random girl are standing. He bows to the girl, having just confessed to her. She makes an uncomfortable expression.

"Can't we just stay friends?"

Orimoto let out a sigh of relief. She forgot that Hikigaya had confessed to multiple people in middle school. She wasn't ready to see herself on the screen yet.

Yukinoshita felt a surge of jealousy from seeing him confessing to someone. But she ignored it, as this was the past. Instead, she continued to watch with a neutral expression.

Meanwhile, I was despairing. My hands were on my head and my body was hunched over. What else will this screen show?!

The area around Hachiman goes black, before returning to the present.

"We never even spoke again after that, let alone stayed friends."

"That wasn't very interesting…" Haruno mused. Hikigaya-kun used to be really boring, huh?

Hayama, however, was a little surprised. You used to confess like that? I didn't think you were that type of person...

Komachi's fists tightened. Onii-chan...

A spotlight appeared above him, shining on Hachiman, while Yukinoshita was glowing in a white aura.

"Well, romantic comedies don't actually happen in my life."

"Incorrect!" Zaimokuza once again spoke up. "As we can see, you're the protagonist of one!" Shut up.

A closeup of Yukinoshita is shown.

"Someone as rigorously trained as me would never get caught in a rom-com trap like this." The camera starts flickering between Yukinoshita and Hachiman. "Girls only take interest in attractive guys and indulge in impure relationships."

"In other words, they're my enemies."

"D-Do you still think that?" Yuigahama asked, looking at me nervously.

"...No. After all, my existence is proof of that being false." It took me a while to figure it out, but now I know: I'm not the only one who wants something genuine.

Even though Isshiki didn't know Hachiman at the time, it felt like she was being attacked by the statement. Not anymore! I don't have any interest in Hayama!

"That's why yaoi boys are better!" Ebina cried out. Ah, I really should ignore her.

A quick glimpse of the flashback is shown again, before once again returning to the present. "Being hated is the fastest way to avoid feeling like that again. I decided to intimidate Yukinoshita in lieu of pleasantries."

Hachiman attempts to give an evil glare to Yukinoshita, but he falters when she looks back at him.

"Quit standing there and sit down."

"Ha!" Hiratsuka laughed. "You really have a weakness for her, huh?" Oi! That sounds embarrassing!

"Huh? Uh, right. Sorry." He goes to grab a chair and places it a good distance away from Yukinoshita. He feels around the chair and looks uncomfortable for a few moments, before his new clubmate speaks up.

"Problem?"

"Uh, it's just… There's a lot I don't get here." He rubs his head. "What club is this, anyway?"

"Oh yeah! Hiratsuka-sensei never told H-Hachiman, huh?" Totsuka realized. He had sort of zoned out for a bit, as he was still reeling from the realization of how cynical Hachiman was.

"Try to guess."

Hachiman thinks for a moment. "Literary club?"

"Not a bad guess, Hachiman!" Zaimokuza said. "However, you should know that those kinds of clubs tend to be actually popular!"

"Since when?" No, seriously. I can't remember anything about the one at Sobu, if it even had one.

Hiratsuka disagreed with Zaimokuza's statement. "That's not really true for a lot of schools. At my high school, the literary club only had five people at its peak. As much as I wish it wasn't the case, they aren't very popular."

A depressive aura surrounded Zaimokuza. "O-Oh…"

"Honestly, I would have believed you if you told me that was a literary club," Isshiki commented with a foxy grin. "I can see senpai being in it."

"Is that supposed to be an insult?"

"Whoooo knows~" Sigh. Isshiki is always a pain to deal with, even though she has matured since I first met her. Though, I can't stay mad at her.

A literary club sounds pretty interesting. Maybe I should check again if Sobu has one… Ebina actually did consider joining one a while back, but she stopped for some reason.

"Oh? What makes you say that?"

He smirks and crosses his arms. "This room has no particular backdrop and no special equipment. Plus, you've been reading a book this whole time."

Kawasaki was impressed. That's some pretty good reasoning, considering he had no information.

"Not a bad guess, Hikigaya-kun." Yukinoshita softly smiled.

"Wrong."

"Then what club is it?"

"What I'm doing here right now is this club's activity."

"Sitting down?" Shiromeguri guessed, looking confused. "Wait, this is the service club! So she's doing Hiratsuka-sensei's request!" I'm surprised you figured that out so quickly.

"Ah! That makes sense!" Tobe overheard her words.

"I give up. I have no clue."

Yukinoshita closes her book. "Hikigaya-kun, how long has it been since you spoke with a girl?"

Hachiman gives a startled look, before the scene switches to a film reel of a middle school. "I believe it was two years ago, in June."

"Wait! Nonononono!" Not again! Why is it showing everything?!

"My, I didn't mean for you to take that seriously," Yukinoshita teased with a smug grin.

"Onii-chan! What about me?" Komachi couldn't believe that his brother forgot her. Of course, she was just teasing him.

Orimoto, however, was surprised. She swore that the confession was closer to the end of the year. That's odd. I guess maybe he's not counting that?

"Pretty hot, isn't it?"

"More like humid."

"Huh? Y-Yeah…"

The scene cuts to Hachiman screaming in his bed, thanks to his embarrassment.

"AHHHHHHHH!" My arms were covering my head in despair. I can't handle this! Please, kill me now!

Nearly everyone around him was blatantly laughing. Most of them were because of the bed scene, not his response.

Hayama let out a chuckle. You really weren't very good at this, were you?

Kawasaki let out a smirk. So he was just as socially incompentent as I was.

Zaimokuza, however, fully understood Hachiman's feelings. "Do not worry! I too have said some things that I… do regret saying."

After, it returns to the present.

"Those who have give to those who do not have with a compassionate heart." Yukinoshita is shown walking towards Hachiman. "People call it volunteer work. We extend a helping hand to those in need. That is what this club does."

The camera scrolls up to slowly show Yukinoshita's whole body. "This is the Service Club. I welcome you. As I have been asked, I will fulfill my responsibility. I will rectify your problem." It cuts to Hachiman. "Show some gratitude."

"U-Um… you were insulting him though…" Totsuka nervously pointed out.

"Who would show gratitude to anyone for something like that?" Miura wouldn't have ever befriended someone who treated her like that.

Yukinoshita considered responding, but decided against it. There was no point, plus she wasn't exactly insulting her. It's not worth the energy.

"This bitch…" His fists clench. "My problem? I'm pretty damn efficient in my own way."

He stands up from his chair. "I was third in my grade on the Japanese ability test. And I'm pretty good looking. Ignoring the fact that I have no friends or girlfriend, I'm basically high-end!"

"Hahahaha! Hilarious!" Haruno laughed again. He's not nervous at all! So interesting!

Yukinoshita let out a small smile at the memory. "I suppose he wasn't wrong…" she mumbled to herself.

"Onii-chan! Don't boast about yourself!" Komachi, on the other hand, was playfully hitting her brother. It caused me to snap out of my depressive state.

"Heh, It's still true." I remember when I declared that. I'm still that high in Japanese, and that's without studying too! If I actually studied, I probably could demolish Hayama and Yukinoshita!

Shiromeguri was surprised to hear his ranking. "Hikigaya was third in Japanese?" I didn't know he did that good in school!

"In a way, it's impressive that you can say all that so confidently. You're weird. I'm already creeped out."

"Shut up! I don't want to hear that from you, you weirdo!"

"You guys started insulting each other pretty early on, huh?" Isshiki observed. I guess senpai really doesn't act superficial at all.

Hayama looked at the screen with surprise. You two were already acting like this so soon after you met? He clenched his fists. If only…

Haha! Imagine if Hikigaya acted like that in middle school. Orimoto would have laughed a lot seeing him talking like that with someone.

The camera switches to a close up of Yukinoshita with a smirk. "Based on my observation, it appears your loneliness is a result of your stupid pride and contrary sensitivity."

The scene switches to show Hiratsuka standing just outside of the clubroom. "As for your appearance, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In other words, as of right now, only what I say is correct."

Eh? Hiratsuka listened to the whole thing?

"Your opinions are ridiculous, but I have a feeling you're making sense."

Yukinoshita waves her hair briefly. "Now, that completes this conversation simulation."

"What?!"

"Huh? What does that mean?" Totsuka tilted his head in confusion.

Angel wings sprout from her back as she speaks. "If you can converse with a girl like me, I believe you can talk with most anyone else." She smiles. "Have I rectified you a bit now?"

"A-Ah…" He was slightly terrified now.

"Oh? I was an angel in your eyes?" Yukinoshita teased with a hand on her chin. "I never would have thought you fell for me so quickly."

"Quit fueling your ego." I think I was seeing you as an evil angel. As opposed to Totsuka, who is the purest angel out there!

"Just so you know, it's not like that I can't talk to people." Hachiman jabs a finger at himself. "I just don't do pointless chats. I don't need any rectifying."

"I believe you're at a level that will make living in society difficult for you."

Before anyone could say anything further, however, Hiratsuka walks back into the clubroom. "Yukinoshita, I'm coming in."

"Good timing! Those two were totally going to destroy each other!" Shut up Tobe.

"Hehe, Yukinon and Hikki have always been like this." Yuigahama explained to the brown-haired guy. "Don't worry, it would have been fine in the end!" Thanks for explaining it to the guy. Because I wouldn't have.

"I said knock…"

"Yeah, sorry. Sounds like you're having trouble rectifying Hikigaya."

Yukinoshita closes her eyes and points a hand at Hachiman. "It's because he isn't aware that he has a problem."

"No it's not." The camera switches to Hachiman. "What the hell is with everyone telling me to change? I don't want other people telling me who I am."

"That's not how it works!" Komachi cried out. Her tone made me instinctively place a hand on her head.

"Trust me, I know that now." While the younger me makes a few good points, he failed to recognize that some change can be good. Listening to others can be good, as long as you filter out the garbage suggestions.

"Change, huh?" A few of the others considered his statement. Were there not times when they felt like someone was telling them to be something? That said, most of them dismissed it, as Hachiman tended to spew out a lot of weird things.

"That's just your way of running, isn't it?"

"Changing is a way of running from the situation, too, isn't it? Why can't you just accept someone for who they are and what's in their past?"

Yukinoshita shook her head. "It's not that simple."

I sighed. "I know that. This scene is a year old at this point, so plenty of these statements don't apply anymore." What's with everyone constantly scolding me for my year-old actions?

Isshiki decided to chime in. "But senpai! How do we know you aren't like that anymore?"

Wow, not confident in me, eh? "Look, Isshiki. We've interacted with each other plenty of times recently. You should know that." It's almost as if you never paid attention, you knoooow? For some reason, she looked away with a tiny blush that I only barely noticed. Now what's that about?

Yukinoshita's fists are shown clenching. "That won't… That won't solve anyone's concerns, nor will it save anyone."

For some reason, Hayama felt a pain of guilt from that. It didn't seem like she was talking about him, but the tone…

Haruno seemed slightly surprised at her sister's strong response. She was curious why that seemed to be such a big deal to her.

Hachiman is visibly taken back from the statement, but before anything could go any further, Hiratsuka jumps in.

"Relax, you guys." She gives a light cough before continuing. "It's a time-honored custom of shounen manga to settle conflicting senses of justice with a showdown."

"Hmm, interesting. Perhaps this anime has shounen as a genre!" Zaimokuza declared with a finger pointed to the ceiling. "It is not very often to see one that has romance and comedy as its main genre, however. Especially since-"

"Quit your rambling," Yukinoshita interrupted, glaring at him. "It's as if I'm listening to a broken record with your irrelevant analysis. Spewing the same things over and over again."

...Wow, that's… I'm going to be honest, that insult was kind of weak. Still, for a lower level being like Zaimokuza, it would still be deadly. He sank back into his chair, looking broken.

"T-That's kind of mean, Yukinoshita," Totsuka, being the angel he is, scolded her for the insult. He turned to Zaimokuza with the prettiest smile on the planet. "Don't worry Yoshiteru! I enjoyed your analysis!"

It was as if he was a lightbulb and Totsuka was the switch to turn it back on. He stood back up with a grin. "Thank you! I shall remain impervious to the spears of the ice queen!" That sounded kind of cool- wait no! That's not cool! What were you thinking, brain?!

Yukinoshita sighed and pinched her nose. "Ugh, when will he learn…"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying, let's have a showdown to see who in this club can do the most service!" As she says that, she points a finger at the two students in conflict.

"Hmm, so it's not true shounen…" I heard Zaimokuza mutter. Did you actually think that my life would have fights?

"How does that get measured?" Miura asked. "Doesn't the club, like, take on requests as a whole, rather than just one person?"

Yuigahama opened her mouth, but I spoke before she could. "You'll see later on." I'm not going to waste my time explaining that.

"You're way too pushy…"

"The winner can order the loser to do anything. How's that?"

A bunch of thought bubbles appear behind Hachiman as he lightly blushes. "When you say 'anything,' you mean 'anything,' right? Gulp."

"Pervert!" Isshiki, Komachi and Yuigahama all shouted at me. What the hell?! This is unfair!

"Oi! I think I was more concerned about what she would do!" I said, pointing to Yukinoshita. If things had turned out different, I fear for what could have happened! "Tell me, what would you all have done?"

That caused everyone to think seriously. If they got sucked into that kind of deal against Hachiman, what would they have done?

Some people had some mundane ones, like Totsuka thinking about just asking him to play tennis. Or Zaimokuza wanting to play this one game he bought with someone. Some were a little more convoluted, like Miura wanting help to get closer to Hayama or Tobe wanting to get closer to Ebina.

Then there were those who probably would have asked him to go on a date, despite him having a "partner". Yuigahama and Isshiki blushed at the thought. Kawasaki nearly thought the same, but her brain switched to something else, like taking care of Keika.

Most of the others couldn't think of anything on the spot, so they simply switched their attention back to the screen.

...And then there was Haruno and Ebina.

"Hehehehehehe." Ebina's eyes gleamed at her imagination. It would be best to ignore her thoughts.

"Oh my~." Haruno… let's also avoid that.

"I decline." Yukinoshita once again wraps her arms around her chest. "Competing against him makes me fear for my life."

"That's prejudice! Second-year high school guys don't think about obscene stuff all the time!"

"There's also… world peace? Actually, I don't think about much else."

Yuigahama and Isshiki were still blushing and stuck in their daydreams, so it was up to Komachi to scold him.

"Bad Onii-chan! Don't be thinking about bad things!" She playfully hit his arm. Hey, don't be too mean. But since you're Komachi, I'll forgive you!

"Hehehehehe." Uh oh. What's Ebina thinking now? I turned around to look at her, only to see her looking at me creepily. "You probably think about doing it with Hayama, don't you?!"

"Nope." I turned away from her. She's starting to get annoying with the yaoi stuff. Think of something else for once!

Hiratsuka cuts in again. "I guess Yukino Yukinoshita has fears. Are you that afraid that you will lose?"

"Fine. I am a bit vexed to see myself falling for such cheap provocation, but I accept."

"Then that's that."

The camera shows Hachiman with his eyebrow ticking. "And what about how I feel?" It switches to a view of Yukinoshita's book, before the screen fades out.

"That must be the halfway point of the episode!" Zaimokuza pointed out, noticing the little logo in the corner.

"So that's how Hikki joined the service club?" Yuigahama, having snapped out of her daydreams, rejoined the conversation. "That wasn't what I expected!"

"What would you have expected, Yuigahama-san?" Good question. I wouldn't have joined a club of my own will back then. Er… maybe the tennis club.

"Umm, I guess I always thought that Hikki was bored and wanted to join…" Wow, you seriously underestimated how much I dislike talking to people. Even now, I don't particularly enjoy it.

"Hah! Hikigaya joining a club of his own will? I can't see it!" Oi, what the hell Hiratsuka-sensei? It's true, but you don't say that out loud!

"That's what I said earlier!" You too Komachi?!

"Umm, I remember asking Hachiman to join the tennis club… h-he said he would if he wasn't already in the service club." If only! I could have experienced Totsuka everyday! But then I wouldn't have been able to know Yukinoshita better...

In the back rows, the others were talking. "That was, like, not that interesting." Miura gave her opinion on the first half of the viewing. "I, like, don't really care what Hikio does."

"Now, don't be too hasty," Hayama spoke up. "Maybe we'll see something more interesting as we keep going?" He personally found the viewing interesting. Seeing his initial reactions to meeting Yukino was not what I expected. And seeing his past was quite startling. I wouldn't have thought he was that different back then.

Over the course of the episode, Orimoto noticed that, compared to when she saw him on that double date with Hayama, Hikigaya was a little more secluded. I guess those girls really did help him out.

Haruno leaned back and crossed her legs. "That was entertaining" was all she said. Next to her, Shiromeguri reflected on what was shown. Those were some nasty thoughts. I didn't think he thought like that!

Kawasaki somewhat sympathized with the old version of Hikigaya. While she never had thoughts that were that cynical, she sort of understood what he was thinking about.

Ignoring that Ebina was upset about the lack of yaoi content, she was interested in how Hikitani-kun used to think. She never really knew him that well, so getting the opportunity to see his thoughts somewhat excited her.

"Hikitani-kun used to act all edgy, huh?" That was all Tobe got from the viewing.

Everyone's conversations gradually calmed down, so we were all facing the screen when it started back up.

The screen returns with a view of the school outside, before switching to Hachiman standing in front of the clubroom again. He opens the door and sees Yukinoshita reading a book like the day before. He sits down, before the girl greets him.

"Hello." She flips to another page. "I didn't think you would come back. Are you a masochist?"

"Yuki-nee! Why was that your first thought?" Komachi pouted at the black haired girl.

"...I think the past me will explain." If I'm remembering correctly… it's after this.

"No."

"A stalker, then?"

"Why are you assuming that I have some sort of feelings for you?"

"You don't?"

"Heh, Hikigaya-kun wouldn't have fallen that easily," Haruno mumbled. If he fell for someone at first sight, then she wouldn't have ever bothered with him.

"No! Even I'm put off by your overconfidence." Hachiman takes off his backpack and places it on the floor. "Do you have any friends?"

"Well, first, explain to me where the definition of 'friend' begins and ends-"

"That's something Onii-chan would say!" Komachi never thought that Yuki-nee would have ever said that!

Yuigahama somewhat figured that she didn't have any friends before the service club, but it was still surprising to hear. "You really had no friends, Yukinon?"

"Y-Yeah. But that's not true anymore." She softly smiled as she looked at the pink haired girl. Wow, that was pretty corny.

"Say no more. That's something someone with no friends would say. Source: me. You seem like someone people would like, so how can you have no friends?"

...Damn it. Hayama knew why, yet he didn't do anything about it. The others were generally clueless, however.

"Yeah! I thought she would totally be the popular one!" Tobe piped up.

Yukinoshita is silent for a few seconds, before she speaks up. "You wouldn't understand." She stands up. "Since I've always been pretty, all guys who have gotten close to me have done so with other intentions. You call yourself lonely even though people like you. You're a disgrace to lonely people everywhere."

"Eh? Aside from Komachi, Hiratsuka and maybe Zaimokuza, no one even talked to me before the service club." No clue why I didn't say anything at the time, but I was a true loner! And even if I now have people I could possibly call friends, I'm still a loner at heart.

"..." Yuigahama wanted to say something, but she decided against it. No point in it now.

Haruno sighed. She was also immensely popular, yet she never had to deal with those problems in high school. It was likely because of the personality differences between her and Yukino.

"I know how you feel, Yukino!" Isshiki exclaimed, leaning over so she could see the black haired girl. "Lots of boys approached me because they thought I was pretty. But that made it difficult for me to get any friends..." Her tone made me tempted to place a hand on her head, but then I realized that I'd have to get up and do it. Sorry kouhai, no headpat for you!

She looks out the window with her book in hand. "If everyone had liked me, perhaps that would have been fine."

"Huh? What does that mean?"

Yukinoshita turns to face Hachiman. "In grade school, my indoor shoes were hidden from me about sixty times. Fifty of those times were the work of girls. Thanks to that, I had to take my indoor shoes and my recorder home every day."

Hayama widened his eyes. He knew that it happened every once in a while, but not that much. It was that bad?

"Were people, like, extremely jealous of you? I don't think I had to deal with it that much." Miura actually felt a little bad for Yukinoshita.

"...Unfortunately, yes."

Kawasaki wasn't expecting it to be that bad. So even popular people have it hard?

"Sounds like a rough time."

"Yes, it is rough." She lets out a small smile. "Because I'm pretty. But it can't be helped. People aren't all perfect." The scene looks outside of the window. "They're weak, ugly, and they get jealous and try to bring others down. Oddly enough, the better you are, the harder it is to live."

The camera returns to Yukinoshita. "Don't you think that's wrong?" She looks outside the window as the scene shrinks. "That's why I'm going to change this world, and the people in it."

Zaimokuza shivered at that statement. "T-That's something a v-villain would say!" Honestly? I agree.

"Oh? Mind if you repeat that?" Yukinoshita glared at the chuunibyou. It's been great knowing you, brother-in-arms. I salute you for your work!

"Now now, he has a point." Hiratsuka-sensei? Are you sure you want to get into this fight?

Hachiman speaks up while facing her. "The direction you're putting your effort in is insane."

"I think it beats your direction toward drying up and fading to nothing. I hate the way you accept your weakness as a positive."

"I mean, it could be worse." I could hate myself for even existing. I know some people have that issue, so I'm glad I'm fine with who I am.

That got me some frowns thrown my way, but I ignored them as usual. If they have problems with it, that's on them. Talk to me if you really want to, but it'll likely be fruitless!

"Yukinoshita carries the pain of someone who has. It shouldn't be too hard to hide that and go through life deceiving everyone. That's what people do in this world. But Yukinoshita doesn't do that. She would never lie to herself."

"...Is that what you thought?" Yukinoshita turned to me with a curious expression.

"At the time? Yeah." Now I know it's not entirely true. I didn't realize it, but I had placed her on a pedestal.

Haruno silently giggled. Monster of logic, eh?

The scene briefly changes to show Yukinoshita reading, with the camera scrolling towards Hachiman. "I'm sure she and I are alike in some way. I couldn't help thinking that, in spite of myself. Even the silence in that moment felt comfortable. I felt my heart was saying it wanted to beat faster than the second hand and beyond."

His hands clenched into fists. "Then… Then she and I…"

"Hey, Yukinoshita… If you want, I'll be your frie-"

"Sorry, I can't do that."

"Eh?" Multiple people expressed surprise and confusion at her answer. Who would deny a chance to be friends with someone? Especially someone who apparently had none?

"What? I wasn't even finished."

Before any more words could be said, someone knocked on the door.

"Come in."

The door opens, revealing a pink haired girl nervously walking in. "E-Excuse me."

The previous statement was forgotten by everyone as they focused on the new arrival.

"It's me?" Yuigahama didn't know that she met the two so soon after they met.

Miura sat up in interest. "So this is how Yui met them?" Why did she go to them? Why did she not ask us?

Isshiki was surprised to see that Hachiman met them so close together. She thought there was a bigger gap between their meetings. If only I met him sooner!

Hachiman's expression of irritation against Yukinoshita turned to a neutral one once he saw the new person walking in.

"Hiratsuka-sensei sent me here…" She then notices Hachiman and takes a startled step back. "Wh-What is Hikki doing here?!"

"You knew Hikigaya already?" Kawasaki asked, surprised.

"U-Um, yeah!" She didn't elaborate any further. You realize you could just say you recognized me from class, right? Although, at the rate that this screen is going, everyone will learn about the real reason.

Haruno leaned back, amused. Looks like everyone's going to learn about that accident.

Hayama, on the other hand, was surprised at the use of the nickname. They didn't talk during class at all before this point, I'm pretty sure. Maybe they met each other somewhere else?

"Uh, I'm a member of this club." "Wait, is 'Hikki' supposed to be me? Also, who is she?"

...Never mind? Hayama was confused now.

"I've always wondered why Yuigahama-san picked that name specifically… there are plenty of more fitting ones." Yukinoshita smugly grinned. Sigh, your nicknames have caused too much brain damage for me. The day Yuigahama calls me "Fishigaya-kun" is the day that I die!

Totsuka was more concerned about the latter half of the statement. "Y-You didn't know who Yui was?"

"E-Er, I never paid attention to who was in my class." Which was a huge crime! How could I ignore Totsuka?!

"So wait, did you not know anyone while I was teaching?" Hiratsuka was slightly surprised. She honestly thought Hikigaya would have been the type of person to know everyone's name, just in case there were group projects.

I sighed. "I only knew a few names." Why is everyone so curious about this?

"That must have included Hayama!" Now what the hell are you on about, Ebina? Oh wait, it's your stupid yaoi fantasies. Please stop putting me in them. It's actually pretty creepy.

Yukinoshita sets up a chair next to hers. "You're Yuigahama Yui-san of class 2-F, right? Well, have a seat."

Yuigahama smiles as she takes the seat. "You know who I am?"

"I bet you've memorized the name of every student," Hachiman cuts in.

"No, I didn't know who you were."

"I see."

The camera shows Yuigahama looking back and forth between the two as they talk. "You don't have to feel bad. I can only blame the weakness of my heart for wanting to avert my eyes from your existence."

"That's pretty harsh…"

"Damn! If I got insulted like that, I don't know what'd I do!"

"Are you actually a masochist?"

Totsuka, Tobe and Isshiki all said at once. You guys are all just lower level beings! And I'm not a masochist! Banish those thoughts immediately!

"Heh, Hikigaya is still pretty funny…" Orimoto mumbled out, not as enthusiastic as usual. She was feeling severely left out of the atmosphere of the theatre, but what could she do about it?

"These two get along well!" Shiromeguri giggled. If they could insult each other and still stay together, then they must have a great deal of trust!

"Are you trying to make me feel better?"

"Just being sarcastic."

"This club… looks like a lot of fun!" Yuigahama shouts out with stars glowing behind her.

"How does t-that look fun?" Zaimokuza trembled, remembering how Yukinoshita had utterly destroyed his writing. While it may have been necessary criticism, it still sometimes gave him nightmares.

"Some people are just into that kind of thing," Hiratsuka said, smirking. Are you implying that Yuigahama is a masochist?

"And, Hikki, you're sure talking a lot."

"Huh?"

"Uh, no, I just meant… You're totally different from the way you are in class." Yuigahama starts picking at her hair. "I mean, you usually act sort of weird, and it creeps me out."

"Looks like some-one~ has been paying attention to Onii-chan!" Komachi teased, resulting in the pink haired girl's face turning bright red. Instead of denying it though, she remained silent.

Yukinoshita frowned, but didn't say anything. She had known she had feelings for Hikigaya-kun for a while, yet she never really did anything about it until recently. Which had ended up working well for the black haired girl in the end.

So I was right; they really didn't talk before. Which made Hayama wonder why she already gave a nickname to Hikigaya.

Hachiman looks away from her. "Little bitch."

"Whoa!"

"Hikigaya!"

"Did I hear that right?"

"H-Hachiman! D-Don't say that!"

"My my~"

Several people had cried out at the insult on the screen, although I couldn't tell who was who. What's the big deal? Plenty of people call each other bitches all the time and no one bats an eye. Hell, I've heard worse!

"What?! Who're you calling a bitch?! I'm still a vir-" She realizes what she was about to say and furiously shakes her head. "Never mind!"

"Senpai really had you there," Isshiki said to Yuigahama with her foxy grin.

"I-It's not my fault Hikki does these things!" She glared at me, but I merely smirked back. Even to this day, she tends to say some weird things when insulted.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about." Yukinoshita cuts in. "To still be a vir-"

Yuigahama cries out and waves her arms in embarrassment. "What are you saying?! It's embarrassing to still be one as a second year! Don't you think you're lacking a little in femininity, Yukinoshita-san?!"

"Eh?" Several people expressed surprise at the statement.

"D-Do girls at Sobu really d-do it that early?" Totsuka, no! Stay innocent! How do you know what she meant anyways?!

"I-If it means anything, I-I haven't done it b-before!" Kawasaki squeaked out with furiously red cheeks. Please, you're embarrassing me just by looking at you! And how are you bold enough to say that out loud?! Aren't you a loner like me?!

At least Kawasomething's comment had seemed to fix Totsuka's concern, since he looked content. Phew, his innocence is still in place.

"Oh my~, maybe Yukino-chan should do that with him~." O-Oi! Haruno, what are you saying?! Next to me, Yukinoshita's cheeks turned red at the thought. Thankfully (?), they weren't too red, so she didn't take it too seriously.

However, Shiromeguri was questioning herself. "D-Do they really do that in second year?" She personally never did it with anyone, but was she a minority in her year? Well, it's not like I want to do it with anyone.

The atmosphere in the theatre had turned a little awkward, but there was no choice but to continue forward.

"Such values are pointless."

"Saying something like 'femininity' sounds pretty bitchy to me," Hachiman offers.

"There you go again! Calling someone a bitch is very not cool! You're seriously creepy, Hikki!" Yuigahama was raising her arms up and down as she was yelling.

"Calling someone a bitch has nothing to do with being creepy," I pointed out. I felt some people glare at me from behind for that comment, but as usual, they were ignored.

"Calling someone a bitch has nothing to do with being creepy. And stop calling me Hikki, bitch."

Oh wow, I said the exact same thing as last time? Aside from the additional sentence at the end obviously.

"Senpai didn't like 'Hikki'?" Isshiki was confused, since Yui is still using it. It must have grown on him…

Yuigahama, seeing herself on the screen, couldn't help but ask a question. "Why did you keep calling me a bitch?"

I shrugged. "Honestly, I can't remember." That was a lie. I'm pretty sure I was really annoyed by her saying I was weird and creeped her out. The screen makes that pretty obvious though, how did she miss it?

Orimoto nearly burst out laughing at his insults. Hahahahaha! Hikigaya insulting someone just like that? Imagine if our middle school classmates saw this!

With a red face and closed eyes, she shouts, "You are so creepy! I can't believe you!"

"Just calling someone creepy all the time kind of nullifies the impact, doesn't it?" Hiratsuka pointed out. It caused Yuigahama to blush in embarrassment.

"I-I'm not very good with i-insults!" Good thing you aren't, that would be terrifying.

Meanwhile, Miura pondered on what the screen showed. "So Hikio's first meeting with Yui, like, didn't go too well?" Not what I expected, especially since they're really close now.

"That's what it looks like," Hayama replied. "Maybe they had better future interactions?"

Behind them, Haruno smirked in amusement. Hikigaya was so interesting. And Yukino-chan's straightforwardness was quite amusing. They really do fit well together.

The scene cuts to a view of the outside of the school, before switching to the cooking room.

"What? Cookies?" Hachiman asks.

"It seems there's someone she'd like to make handmade cookies for. But she's not very confident, so she wants our help. This is her request."

"Wait, that was Yui's request?" Isshiki never knew how she joined the service club, so seeing it all was new to her.

Komachi let out a small giggle. Hehe, I bet she didn't know Onii-chan would be there to see her cookies!

"Huh? Yui, why didn't you ask us about it?" Ebina asked, finally saying something that didn't relate to yaoi. Miura was curious as well.

"U-Um… I think the me on the screen will explain…"

"Ask your friends for that."

"Even Hikio wondered why!" Oi, no need to yell it out.

"Y-Yeah, well…" The camera focuses on Yuigahama. "I… don't really want them to know. Acting all serious like this doesn't match my friends."

"Huh?" Ebina, Tobe and Miura expressed their confusion at this. But Hayama mentally nodded, keeping his expression as neutral as possible.

I can't say she's wrong. Our group hasn't really done something like this. But I'm fine with that.

Behind him, Haruno shook her head but remained silent. That got a questioning look from her seatmate, but she decided to remain silent.

Meanwhile, Totsuka was confused. "Um, w-what's serious about handmade cookies?"

I looked awkwardly at Yukinoshita and Zaimokuza, before sighing. "Well… it's like a way for people to show affection? Generally it's used during Valentine's day, but it can be done all year round." What if I made some for Totsuka? Wait, no no! I can't let his angelness distract me from Yukinoshita! Bad brain!

"Oh! That makes a lot more sense than what I was originally told!"

"Huh?" What sort of terrible thing did they tell him?!

"Ah, um… I think it was that they were for people the giver felt bad for?" Totsuka rubbed his cheek. "One of my old classmates told me that."

Hmm, that's not as bad as I expected. But someone's still spreading misinformation! How could you lie to that face?!

"It sounds like some classmates were jealous of you," Yukinoshita pointed out. "So they made up a lie to make you feel bad."

"O-Oh… well, that's okay!" Wow, you don't hold any grudges at all, do you? As expected of a benevolent angel!

"I see."

"Besides, I heard from Hiratsuka-sensei that this club grants students' wishes, right?"

"No. The service club only helps people," Yukinoshita explains. "We don't give fish to starving people. We teach them how to fish so they can stand on their own."

"Th-That's kinda amazing."

Yukinoshita walks over to Yuigahama and adjusts her apron. "It's crooked. Can't you even put on an apron right?"

"What's with your urge to insult people?" Miura asked, glaring at Yukinoshita. "Like, you completely changed the topic!"

Before Yukinoshita could snap back, Yuigahama spoke up first, giving a smile. "Don't worry about it! It's just a Yukinon thing!"

"But-"

"Now now, if she's fine with it, then there's nothing to complain about, alright?" Hayama stopped Miura before she could protest any further.

"...Fine." She leaned back in her chair and let the issue go. For now.

"Sorry. Thanks."

Hachiman, being left out, decides to speak up. "And? What am I supposed to do?"

"You can just taste them and offer your opinions." The scene shows the ingredients used, before it switches to show what looks like lumps of coal.

Everyone aside from the three that were there blinked in confusion. A few people rubbed their eyes to make sure they were seeing right.

"Um… what is that?"

"Why did you guys go to the hardware store?"

Kawasaki and Tobe managed to ask out. You know, if I wasn't there, I'd be as startled as you guys. Guess I better explain.

"Those are Yuigahama's 'cookies'." I shuddered at the memory of eating them.

Hiratsuka frowned at the pink haired girl. "How are your cooking skills that bad? Do I need to teach you?"

"N-No! They're better now!" They better be, because I don't want to deal with that monstrosity!

"How can someone mess up so much and so often?

"It looks like the charcoal they sell at the hardware store. I feel like a poison tester."

Totsuka winced. "T-That's a bit harsh, Hachiman…" I'm sorry for upsetting you! Please forgive me! Wait, I need to stay strong.

"W-Well, I c-can't hold back, you know?" I sounded very out of character there. Totsuka's aura is too much for me!

"Never fear! If the creator is confident in their creation, I'll test them!" Zaimokuza declared. His words brought me back to my sense. This was a year ago, moron. Why does everyone seem to forget that?

"Where's the poison in this?!" Yuigahama picks up a piece, before images of mushrooms sprout around her. "Maybe it is poisonous…"

"O-Oh, never mind..." And looks like he backtracked too. You should have stuck with it! I would have given you a piece!

Miura was starting to feel a little glad that Yui didn't go to them for help. She didn't know what would have happened if she was forced to taste… that.

Komachi decided that, unless her skills did improve as she claimed, she was going to drill cooking into her head.

"We won't die, will we?" Yukinoshita expresses her concerns, before she places an empty bowl on the table. "Well, let's think about how to improve this."

"How about Yuigahama never cooks again?"

"Onii-chan! Don't say that!"

"What? It was terrible!" Although, I guess it was probably the wrong thing to say. Hard work betrays no one, so I guess with enough effort, she would have improved.

"Heh, not even holding back?" Haruno called out. Why do I feel like there's a second meaning in there?

"Heh." Orimoto couldn't help but let out a short laugh.

"That's how you're solving things?" Yuigahama takes on a serious expression. "Maybe I'm just not cut out for cooking. I don't have the… What do they call it… Talent?"

"The only solution is to try harder." She turns to Yukinoshita with a surprised expression. "Yuigahama-san, you just said you don't have talent, correct?"

"Uh, yeah…"

"Try changing your perception. People who don't apply even minimal effort have no right to envy those with talent. Unsuccessful people are unsuccessful because they can't imagine the effort that successful people have invested."

Hiratsuka shook her head. "That's not entirely true, Yukinoshita."

She turned to the teacher with a surprised expression. "Is that so?"

"Yep. I have a couple of friends who work harder than their co-workers, yet they generally get passed up on promotions." She frowned. "That's the unfortunate reality of our society."

There's also the fact that you can't get married, despite you trying so many times. "Say, Hikigaya? Were you thinking of something bad just now?" The teacher turned to me with a fearsome glare. Are you an esper?! Wait, no, I need to fool her!

"Eh? What do you mean?" Perfect!

"Don't even try." Wait, no! Please don't! Hiratsuka stood up and pulled her fist back, ready to pummel me. Thankfully, my little sister saved me from inevitable destruction.

"Hiratsuka-sensei, you can punish my brother later. But I want to see what else happens first!" Hold on, you're supposed to stop her completely! That was low on Komachi points!

The teaching considered it for a moment before nodding. "Sounds fair." She sat back down, but I could still feel her glare on me. I'm scared! Please go easy on me!

"...What just happened, Senpai?" Isshiki watched it all with a confused expression. You ask a brilliant question! And I will not answer it!

"B-But lately, everyone says they don't do it. Stuff like this doesn't suit them."

Yukinoshita stops cooking for a moment. "Could you please stop trying to match everyone around you? It's terribly annoying. Aren't you embarrassed, looking to others to tell you why you're awkward, clumsy, or foolish?"

That's a very good point. It's unfortunate that too many people fall into that trap. I mean, look at me. I completely ignored those people and I turned out just fine!

Yuigahama grabs her apron in what seems to be frustration. "You're…"

"You're so cool…"

"Huh?" Multiple people said out loud. I think the mind of Yuigahama is seriously confusing everyone else. I can't really blame them, since it even confuses me sometimes.

"Forget about senpai; Are you a masochist?" Isshiki couldn't help asking. You know, looking back on this, I can see why you think that. But Yuigahama as a masochist? That sounds terrifying, and I don't know why!

"No!" The pink haired girl vehemently denied. "That's just weird!"

In the back, Ebina began muttering. "It's not as good at Hikitani x Hayama, but I could get behind Yui x Yukinoshi-"

"Shut up!" Kawasaki slapped her in the shoulder, her face red in embarrassment. Why is she so into that?!

"Huh?!" Both Hachiman and Yukinoshita couldn't help shouting out.

"You don't say anything superficial at all. That's kind of… cool!"

"W-Were you even listening? I believe I was being rather harsh."

"Yeah, your words were harsh, but I felt like that's how you really feel. All I've ever done is try to match everyone else." Yuigahama puts on a determined expression on her face. "Sorry! Next time, I'll do it right!"

Hayama felt guilty at her words. Honesty, huh? I guess our clique never really had a lot of that. But for him, that was fine.

Shiromeguri found herself agreeing with the pink-haired girl on the screen. The insults were a bit too harsh, but she's honest at least!

"Trying to match the masses is indeed a futile effort!" Once again, Zaimokuza began blabbering. "Rather, you should be yourself, ignoring the pressures of society!" I feel like that could have been cooler if he phrased that differently. But I do agree with him.

Totsuka, however, was looking at him with glowing eyes. "That's some great advice, Yoshiteru!" Oh well, if he says it's worded great, then it must be!

Hachiman seemed satisfied with her response. "Teach her the right way to do it."

Yukinoshita seemed to hesitate for a second, before relenting. "I'll give you a demonstration. Do exactly as I do."

"Okay!"

"I can't wait to see what she made!" Komachi exclaimed with shining eyes. Maybe her claim was true and she wouldn't have to drill cooking into Yui's head after all!

Miura had a soft smile on her face. While she didn't like Yukinoshita's insults, at least she seemed willing to teach Yui.

"Now I'm curious to see the difference from the first time," Hiratsuka mused, rubbing her chin. "Although, knowing Yuigahama…"

The screen shows the results of Yukinoshita and Yuigahama's cooking. On the right is what they intended to look like, while the one on the left looks extremely burnt.

It felt like everyone in the room sighed. I can't blame them either.

"They're totally different…"

"How is that possible? She was following Yukino the entire time!" Isshiki wasn't normally one to express disbelief, but this was simply too confusing.

"Eheheh…" Yuigahama scratched her cheek with a finger. Poor her, unable to explain her inability with cooking. Maybe she pissed off the cooking gods in a past life?

"Man, I wonder how bad my cooking is!" Tobe wondered out loud. And by out loud, he did it loud enough so even I could hear it. Sorry to say it, but I don't care for your cooking at all!

Yukinoshita rests her head on the table in frustration. "How am I supposed to make you understand?"

As she despairs, Hachiman eats one of the cookies. "So, why are you guys trying to make cookies that taste good?"

"Huh?" "What are you saying?"

Now what does that mean? Hayama didn't fully understand what Hachiman meant by that.

"What nonsense are you spouting out now, Hikigaya?" Hiratsuka was glaring at me.

I sighed, keeping my focus on the screen. "Just wait and see."

"Come back here in ten minutes. I'll show you some real handmade cookies."

"Now it's my turn in the showdown."

"Huh? I thought you couldn't make cookies, Onii-chan?"

"Yeah, I can't." That got several questioning looks from behind me, but I once again ignored them. How many times have I ignored the amount of looks from behind me now? It's getting really repetitive!

Haruno smirked in amusement. Now what little idea do you have now?

They come back to see cookies that look just as burnt as Yuigahama's. The two girls take a bite of them before giving their verdict.

"Um… Hachiman? Those don't look very good…" Ouch! If those were my own cookies, I might have actually cried right then and there.

"These are real handmade cookies?"

"They're not that good."

"Hikitani-kun needs cooking lessons too, huh?" Shut up Tobe.

Haruno, however, had a feeling what he had done. Her smirk got wider. My my, you made them wait for ten minutes for nothing?

"Really? Sorry, I'll toss them." Hachiman goes to throw them away, but Yuigahama stops him.

"Wait! You don't have to toss them." She throws an entire cookie in her mouth. "They're not that terrible."

"These are the cookies you made, actually."

"Eh?" Half of the people expressed confusion at the comment. The other half had realization dawn on them.

"Huh?" "What are you talking about?"

"This is a story of my friend's friend." The scene switches to the film reel again.

Oi! Why is this stupid screen insistent on showing my embarrassing memories?! I glared daggers at it, wishing it to stop immediately.

Next to me, Yukinoshita was looking smug. "My, so you remember everything about your 'friend's friend'?" I chose to ignore her. No way I was going to give her satisfaction over this!

On his other side, Komachi grimaced. Another bad Onii-chan memory?

Hayama leaned forward in interest. Another memory of yours?

"Seems there was a girl who would tell him every time something happened." It shows a girl walking up to the person in the flashback. "I thou- I mean, he thought, 'This must mean she likes me!'"

Orimoto frowned. She recognized the girl in the flashback, but she didn't know her well. I knew Hikigaya confessed to a few people before me, but how many?

"Senpai fell for that trap, eh?" I turned away from the screen and looked at her. She was looking at me with that foxy smile of hers. Sigh, I can't even rebuke you this time.

"So he made up his mind, and he asked her. 'S-So tell me who you like. Just his initials.'"

"'Huh?'" She squirmed in place for a moment. "'...H'"

"Oh no…" Kawasaki immediately knew what was going to happen. She facepalmed, not wanting to see the embarrassing misconception.

Behind her, Shiromeguri also realized what was coming next. Her eyes widened and she let out a short giggle. Hehe, poor Hikigaya!

"'H?! Is it me?!'"

"'What are you talking about? You're creeping me out. Would you stop?'" As that was said, a chalkboard with a drawing of Hachiman is shown.

"Hey! That girl was being really mean!" Yuigahama pointed at the screen with an angry expression. Komachi was also glaring at the screen while radiating a dark aura.

Hayama, however, was curious about the chalkboard. "Hikitani-kun? Can you explain what the face on the chalkboard is for?" Oi, can you actually call me by my name?

I turned around to face him. "I want to say that they were making fun of me, but whoever drew that put way too much effort into making me look nice." I mean, just look at it!

Orimoto remembered seeing that same drawing in class, but she didn't understand what it was for at the time. I can't say it was meant to be a nice drawing, but it's not a bad one either.

Ebina was impressed with the drawing shown. They made a fairly accurate representation, and that's hard with a chalkboard. She liked to draw, so she had an eye for when something was good or not.

"Wait a minute." Yukinoshita cut in as the scene returned to the present. "So that's a personal experience of yours?"

"Hey, you… It was my friend's friend!"

"Yukino-chan saw through that instantly!" Haruno laughed.

"Well, it was pretty obvious Hikki?" Ugh, you too? Eh, my embarrassment meter had probably overflowed a while ago, so I really don't care right now.

"And what were we supposed to take from that?"

"Well, you know. Guys are simple. They'll get the wrong idea if you so much as talk to them, and they'll be happy just to get handmade cookies from you. So they don't have to taste good."

"Really?" Shiromeguri sometimes gave handmade cookies to a few of her friends, but she never did that for the boys. "Maybe I'll use that one day…" I'm not sure that kind of thing works in college, but go ahead and try. I'll root for you!

"Hikitani-kun is right!" Tobe agreed. "Of course, it's better if they taste good!" I mean, I don't disagree with you, but you're pretty annoying. Oh well, at least he's not as bad as I remember.

"They don't taste good?" Yuigahama asks with an angry expression. "Shut up!" She starts throwing bags at Hachiman, which he dodges.

"As long as he knows you tried your best, wouldn't that sway his mind?"

"Is that how it works?" Yukinoshita pondered on the statement.

Zaimokuza nodded. "Indeed! If you ever have a boy you wish to sway, remember this advice!" I feel like you're just saying that so someone would give you cookies. Which is highly unlikely, I'm afraid. Then again, I managed it, so maybe you can defy the odds too!

"Would it sway you, Hikki?"

"Huh? Oh, sure, it'd sway me hard. And stop calling me Hikki."

"You really got unlucky," Komachi said, looking at Yuigahama with a cheesy grin. "If only Onii-chan wasn't there!" The comment caused the pink haired girl to blush lightly.

"Y-Yeah…"

A light smile appears on Yuigahama's face, unseen by the others.

"So, what are you going to do, Yuigahama-san?"

"Yeah, I'm going to try it my way. Thanks, Yukinoshita-san."

"So Yui didn't bother trying to improve her cooking after that?" Miura frowned. She was hoping that she got more help after that terrible looking second cookie.

"Not true! I spent a lot of time on my cookies!" Yuigahama cried out, her blush disappearing as she spoke. "They just, um, didn't exactly work out?" Yeah, I know that.

Behind us, Ebina started giggling. "Hehehe. If only Yukinoshita and Hikitani weren't dating, then I could have made Hayama give cookies to him! And then…!" A line of blood dripped down her nose. Your delusions are really scary! How do those slaps not have any effect on you?!

"Yui!" Oh, looks like the angel is speaking. "D-Do you want to cook together sometime?"

"Oh! Sure Saika!" Yuigahama turned away from Miura and nodded to the silver haired teen. "It probably would have to be until we're done with this though…" Well, duh. I don't see any kitchens here.

The scene shows the outside of the school again, before switching to show the Service Clubroom.

"Did we really handle that right? Yuigahama-san's request from last week." Yukinoshita asks. Hachiman perks up.

"It was fine, Yukinon!"

Yukinoshita softly smiled at her seatmate. "I'm… glad to hear that."

Hiratsuka put in her two cents. "If the client was satisfied, then further action wouldn't be needed." She smiled, before turning to me with a frown. "As for whether the method was good…"

Now stop looking at me like that! "This took place a year ago! Quit scolding me for my year old mistakes!"

"What're you on about now?"

"I think, if you want to improve yourself, you should challenge your own limits. I think that would benefit Yuigahama-san most in the end."

"Your efforts will never betray you. They'll betray your dreams, though."

"Huh?" Yukinoshita turns to face Hachiman.

"Ugh, one of Onii-chan's stupid quotes."

"Oi! You lost some points for that one!" I pointed at my sister. In response, Komachi stuck her tongue out. I will not allow you to insult my teachings like that!

Kawasaki thought about what he just said. So he's saying that my efforts will betray my dreams, but not myself? What is that supposed to mean?

"Not all dreams will come true through effort. Actually, most of them won't even come true. But if you tried your best, you can take solace in that."

Ah, that's what he meant. Kawasaki understood now. She sort of agreed, but what if she tried her best and she got nothing in return. Why would she take solace in that?

"But senpai, that's just self satisfaction!"

"That's just self-satisfaction. You're naive. It's creepy."

Isshiki looked surprised that Yukino said the same thing. Well, aside from the insults.

"Heh, you two aren't wrong." I didn't say anything more than that. No point in defending myself when I'll just be attacked from all sides.

Haruno found that statement amusing. So you think everyone's dreams will fall in the end? Hehe, I won't say you're incorrect.

After she says that, the door slides open, revealing Yuigahama.

"Yahallo!" The two occupants of the room are silent for a moment.

"You need something?"

"What, I'm not welcome? Yukinoshita-san, do you hate me?"

"T-That's quite the leap, Yui!" Totsuka exclaimed.

"I wouldn't say I hate you. You're just not my type."

"And that's mean!" She- er, he was pouting at the two girls. That's a dangerous attack! If that was aimed at me, I would beg for forgiveness as many times as necessary! However, it appeared the two girls were more resistant to it.

"Don't worry Saika!" Yuigahama pulled Yukinoshita next to her, making her let out a cute yelp. "We're best friends now!"

The black haired girl pulled away with a blush. "P-Please warn me if you're going to do that."

Komachi looked at the two with shining eyes. "Onii-chan, when will you act that way with Yuki-nee?" Whoa, are you seriously expecting that out of me right now? Scary!

Haruno watched the whole exchange with a glint in her eye. Yukino-chan is so cute when she's all flustered! I'll need to make sure to put her in more situations with Hikigaya!

"Yesyesyes! Yukinoshita x Yui!" Ebina had a crazed look in her eyes as she watched the interactions between the two girls.

"That means the same thing in girlspeak, you know!" She pouted at Yukinoshita.

"So, did you need something?"

Yuigahama starts taking off her backpack and pulls something out. "I guess you'd call this thanks for the other day? I made cookies!"

Ugh, that brings back bad memories. But I don't regret eating them. After all, she tried her hardest on those. Why would I have gone back on my words?

However, Miura was curious. "Were those cookies better than the previous ones?" You'll probably see in a minute, since this stupid show seems insistent on showing my personal memories.

"Heheh… um, sort of?" Yuigahama scratched her cheek. The blonde hair girl sighed.

She gives a bag to Yukinoshita, who looks reluctant to eat them. "I'm not really hungry…"

"Yeah, it's pretty fun once you try!" Yuigahama pulls out another bag of cookies. "Maybe I'll try making a boxed lunch next time. Oh, and Yukinon, let's eat lunch in the club room together!"

"No, I like to eat alone. I'll pass. And 'Yukinon' creeps me out, so don't-

"Also, Yukinon, I'm free after school, so I'll help with the club!" As Yuigahama is talking, Hachiman walks out of the room to let the two talk. "Yeah this is, what do you call it? To say thanks!"

"Are you listening? Yuigahama-san?"

"You two sure moved fast," Haruno teased. "Hikigaya even knew what the next course of action would be!" ...I can't even say you're wrong, damn it!

"Oh!" Ebina was laying in her chair, looking extremely out of it. "This is beautiful…" I think it's best if we ignore her. Hell, maybe we should give her a blindfold so she can't watch this.

"Yui sure gets along well with Yukinoshita-san!" Ugh, I almost forgot you were there Tobe. Can you quiet down for once?

Hachiman walks into the hallway, away from the service club. Before he gets very far though, Yuigahama calls for his name. "Hikki!" He turns around to see her throwing a bag of cookies, which he catches. "It's just to show my thanks. You helped me, too."

"Y-You…!" Eh, what's with the tone, Zaimokuza? I turned around to see that he held a betrayed expression on his face. "G-Good job with t-the cliche… b-brother in arms…"

"Yoshiteru, are you okay? You sound sick!" Totsuka worriedly looked over to the chuunibyou teen. Nah, he's just being overdramatic. Stop worrying the angel!

"Y-Yeah, I'll be fine." His betrayed expression had faded, thanks to Totsuka's smile. Ah, at least, he has the sense to not worry him too much.

She runs back into the club room and the scene switches to Hachiman outside. He pulls out one of the cookies, which is in the shape of a heart.

"This looks ominous."

"Hikki!" Yuigahama pouted at me. "Meanie!"

"...Normally I would disagree with Onii-chan, but that cookie is scary!" Komachi shivered at the thought of eating it.

The pink haired girl changed her focus to my sister. "Komachi-chan!"

"It seems like a bad omen somehow, but I'll accept it with gratitude." Hachiman has a bite of the cookie, before he coughs in anguish. However, he pushes forward and eats the whole cookie.

Not willing to go back on your word, eh? Haruno thought that was… slightly boring, but she could wave it off.

"O-Oh…" Yuigahama blushed at Hikki's actions, before she smiled at him. "T-Thanks for eating that..."

I waved her off. "It was terrible."

"Hikki!"

"And stop calling me Hikki."

Heh, that timing. But I really don't care about the name anymore.

The Camera pans upwards as the screen changes to show the episode title.

And So, Our Mistaken Youth Begins.

"That was a fun watch!" Shiromeguri exclaimed.

"So that's the end of the episode?" Isshiki asked with a head tilt. "I've never seen a show with the episode title at the end."

"Do not worry, Isshiki-san! Plenty of anime have their episode title at the end! This is simply one of the many that do," Zaimokuza explained. For some reason, my kouhai looked a little disgusted. Oh dear. You truly have no female fans!

That did make me realize something, however. "Aren't there supposed to be endings?" As if the screen heard me, music started to play.

OST: Hello Alone

Out of the darkness, the words "My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected" appear on the screen, all with different fonts and text sizes.

"What in the world?" Hiratsuka looked surprised. "That's not what I expected from this."

"It sounds like a rock song!" Tobe shouted with an arm up. Uh, are you sure about that?

Zaimokuza turned to the brown haired guy and… actually frowned? "Never judge an ending on its first couple of seconds! The tone can change quite quickly!" That's true. I remember seeing several endings that started fast but ended slow.

It switches to show pictures of different sceneries, most of them pictures of a beach. One of them has Yukinoshita standing in front of the ocean, before it switches to the view below a boardwalk.

"Huh? I don't think I have done that before." Yukinoshita looked confused at seeing herself. Didn't the opening also have some scenes that you clearly weren't there to do? You should have expected this!

Speaking of that… "This ending seems really lazy. There's, like, no extra animation to it." Whoa, Miura is the one to point that out? Do you actually watch anime?!

A picture of a seagull in the sky is shown, before it shows a picture of Yuigahama leaning back on a metal fence. Then it shows Hachiman looking back as he's walking to school.

Well, I can say the song's pretty nice. Not what I would have really imagined for an anime covering my life, but it also does involve Yukinoshita and Yuigahama, so I guess it fits.

Hayama, however, noticed a detail. Hm? Hikigaya's picture was in black and white, compared to the others being colored. Does that mean…?

The final picture shown is Soubu High School as it suddenly starts folding into a book. The song ends.

No one spoke for a few moments, just waiting to see if something else would pop up. When nothing did, the theatre erupted into chatter. None of us in the front two rows stood up though.

"It appears that this starts near the beginning of our second year," Yukinoshita observed, placing a hand on her chin. "I'm curious as to why it focused on Hikigaya-kun though…"

I smirked and jabbed a thumb at myself. "It's clearly because whoever made this figured that I would be the best protagonist." I was still against the screen showing all of this, but my ego could take solace in being an anime protagonist. As long as I wasn't a trashy spineless harem protagonist, I would have been fine with almost anything!

Zaimokuza nodded at my statement and crossed his arms. "Hachiman has the qualities of a likable main character, while also being somewhat relatable for some of the viewers." Huh? Now I'm curious what qualities you're talking about.

"Pfft, likable? Senpai isn't that at all!" Isshiki exclaimed. I felt offended for a second, before I heard her mumble to herself. "Well… not at first…" Heh? So I am likable after knowing me?

"Um, I noticed that only Hachiman, Yukinoshita, Yui and Hiratsuka-sensei were the only ones to show up!" Totsuka nervously spoke up, changing our conversation. "A-Aside from Hachiman's middle school c-classmates, of course!"

"That's pretty normal," Hiratsuka explained, standing up and putting on her teaching face. "In typical anime and manga, the first few episodes or chapters focus on the main character and a few other important characters. There are very few exceptions to this rule." I can't believe our teacher knows this much. I'm not sure if I should be embarrassed or not.

"O-Oh! That makes sense!" Totsuka bowed to the tall teacher. "Thank you for the explanation!"

As the group in the front two rows were talking to each other, the back two rows were having their own conversations.

"Hayato! That was pretty interesting, seeing Hikitani-kun's story!" Tobe shifted over in his seat and faced Hayama. "I wonder when we will show up!"

Hayama smiled at Tobe and gave his answer. "I think it will be very soon." Truthfully, he wasn't entirely sure. He never had the opportunity to really watch anime, so he didn't quite get the terms that Hikigaya's friends were spewing out. But the first episode did seem to cover two or three days, meaning it probably skipped a fair amount of content in his life.

"I dunno about that," Miura cut in. "Like, we didn't talk to Hikio often, right? So I don't think we will show up for a while." She crossed her arms and legs and leaned back into the chair.

"Aw man! I was hoping to be on TV!" Tobe looked downtrodden. Hayama patted his shoulder to make him feel better.

"Who cares if we don't show up!" Ebina shouted, having heard Tobe's comment. There was a maniac look in her eyes. "What's important is we get Hayama x Hikitani content! And Yukinoshita x Yui! Yes!" She was still crazy from the last interaction between the two girls.

Having enough of this, Kawasaki shook her seatmate. "Stop being crazy! You're not the Hina I know!" She had a frantic look, as if she was witnessing her only friend slowly turn into a zombie.

"E-Eh? Saki-saki?" Surprisingly, the maniac look disappeared as she turned to look at the blue haired girl. "What were we talking about?"

"...I'm not talking about it." There's no way I'm going to talk about that nonsense!

"I can answer that for you, Ebina-san," Haruno said with a smirk, leaning forward from her row. "You were talking about your want for-"

"STOP! IT!" Kawasaki shouted loudly. That got the attention of our group. Now why is there yelling going on back there? I turned to look behind us.

"Saki! What's up?" Yuigahama heard the yelling from the blue haired girl.

"U-Um, it's nothing!" She was cursing her luck so very much right now. Why was everyone suddenly so interested in what was going on around her?!

Shiromeguri watched all of this with a confused expression. "What's going on? We were talking about something with appearances on the screen?"

"Yes! Go back to that!"

While the theatre was bursting into chaos, Orimoto watched it all from her seat. Now that the episode had ended, she felt even more left out than earlier. Normally, she could easily enter a conversation and talk to someone. However, that was a lot more difficult this time.

Am I here because of my association with Hikigaya? But why not someone else, like his-

"Hey, you." Orimoto snapped out of her thoughts. The blonde haired girl was looking straight at her. "Like, are you going to talk at all?"

"Oh! Haha, it's not like that." She rubbed her cheek. "It's just awkward for me, you know? I don't really know anyone here well aside from Hikigaya and Hayama."

Miura sighed. "Still, isn't it boring just sitting there? You should go, like, talk to someone."

Orimoto gave a grin. "I'm talking to you, aren't I?" Realizing that she had an opportunity to stop being left out, she decided to ask a question. "By the way, can I sit in the seat next to you?"

The blonde haired girl looked surprised for a moment, before turning her head to the empty seat. "I guess it's alright. But don't try anything with Hayato!"

Sweet! She walked around the row and placed herself next to Miura. "Thanks! And don't worry about Hayama." After the double date mishap, Orimoto had sort of ruined her reputation with the blonde haired guy.

Before they could start having an actual conversation, however, the voice had returned.

I'm back~!

Ugh, not this annoying thing again. I noticed several people had groaned at the arrival. Wow, I'm not actually alone in thinking it's annoying?

So, how was that first episode? Just kidding, I already know how you all feel!

Then what was the point of asking that? This is why I hate gods, they're never straightforward.

Anyways, I came in to let you guys know that the second episode will be starting in a few seconds! So please move your attention to the screen! Thank you!

I moved my attention to the screen, which was starting to flicker between different colors. Beside me, the other's also focused their attention on it, ready to see the next episode. Guess, it's time to see what other embarrassing things this stupid screen will show.

Chapter Text

Watching My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Terrible, As Expected

Episode 02

…

What's taking so long? The annoying voice said it would take only a few seconds, yet it's been a minute already. Was it so annoyed with our conversations that it wanted to stop us from talking? Don't worry god, I know that feeling very well.

"Hikigaya-kun, do you have any idea what the screen will show us next?" Yukinoshita questioned, looking at me.

I shrugged. "Who knows? It skipped everything that didn't relate to the service club, but that might not stick around." I don't remember what else happened back then, so hopefully it's something that isn't embarrassing.

Knowing my luck, I'm probably screwed.

Whoops! Sorry about that~. The DVD player had an issue, but it should be fixed now!

Seriously? Even god-made DVD players have maintenance issues? I glared at the screen, along with everyone else in my row.

Wow, you're all pretty mad!

"Of course we would be!" Miura angrily shouted. "Like, you brought us here against our own wills! What's so special about watching Hikio's school life anyways?"

Oi! I don't really want to watch this either, but don't call my school life boring!

Hehehehe~. I said it before; I'm bored! But don't worry, by the end of everything, I'll make sure to return you back!

Several sighs of relief were let out at that. However, I remained suspicious. After all, that wording seemed really odd. Why was it "The end of everything," and not "The end of the show?" I would have thought about it more, but unfortunately we had a show to watch.

Anyhow, enjoy the viewing!

The screen faded to black, before revealing something that I recognized.

The scene opens to show a picture of a sign showing the words "Class 2-F".

"It is in the nature of animals to live in groups."

Huh? Those words seemed familiar, but where have I heard them from…?

"Really? Another monologue from Onii-chan?" Komachi gave me a deadpan stare. I was too busy thinking, so someone else chimed in.

"Heh heh." Zaimokuza used his finger to shift his glasses. "But of course. This is clearly how the show draws in viewers! By-"

"Quit your drivel," Yukinoshita interrupted, not bothering to turn around. "I could care less about your irrelevant analysis."

The silver-haired chuynoboi froze, before he sank into his seat in despair. Ouch, I kind of feel bad for him. Then again, he was being pretty annoying just now.

As Hachiman is monologuing, it switches to show a shadow of a person walking, before it shows Hachiman himself sitting in the classroom.

The camera pans over a group of students talking amongst each other.

"Hey, that's us!" Tobe pointed at the screen. "I didn't think we would show up!"

Hayama nodded with a smile. "I did not expect this either." Truthfully, he thought it would be a while before he showed up. I realized we would show up, but not so early in Hikigaya's "story".

Ebina also noticed herself, but she decided to remain silent.

"Hah? Hikio noticed us?" Miura, on the other hand, did not stay silent.

I overheard her and rolled my eyes. Obviously I was going to notice the clique. They were the biggest group in my class, not to mention loud and annoying. Anyone who didn't notice them had to be both blind and deaf.

"Carnivores maintain a hierarchy. Those who don't become the boss must carry stress all their lives."

Hachiman puts on a smirk and looks away from the group.

"Whoa! For real? What is this?!" At the person's words, Hachiman looks to see Tobe crouching over to look at someone playing a video game. "That is so cool!"

Kawasaki frowned. If someone randomly did that to me, that person would regret it.

Nearby, Tobe felt a shiver go down his spine for no reason. "Hu-Huh?"

Haruno, however, was more interested in the monologue. Hehe, his thoughts are so interesting! Though, I'm admittedly curious why he's thinking about that.

"And herbivores surely feel the dilemma of sacrificing their peers in order to survive attacks from their natural enemies."

"Yo, this is seriously awesome!" Tobe shouts out.

"What's up?" The camera cuts over to show Hayama's clique, noticing Tobe's shouts.

"Can I borrow it for a second?" Tobe asked the person with the game console.

"Okay…" With little argument, the guy agrees.

Yukinoshita sighed and rubbed her nose bridge. "Idiot."

...That's it? You're only calling Tobe an idiot? Your insults are lacking!

"It kind of feels like the guy agreed too easily," Isshiki commented. "I bet he's like senpai; doesn't like to talk!"

"Yeah, that sounds right!" Next to her, Komachi easily agreed.

"Oi, you lost some points for that one," I said, pretending to be offended.

Tobe takes the game console and walks back to the clique. Miura reaches out to take it and use it.

"This is why living in groups is of no benefit to the individual." The camera cuts to show Hachiman's face up close. "That being the case, I choose the path of a bear, which never forms groups." It shows a brief glimpse of a drawing.

Oh. I just remembered what this essay was from. Behind me, Hiratsuka made a face of recognition. When she did, she glared at my back. I pretended to ignore it, but it was difficult.

"Oh!" Ebina suddenly cried out. "Hikitani-kun, you draw?" Something that isn't about her yaoi obsession? Who are you?! In my shock, I gave a nod. "I bet you draw yourself with Hayama all the time!" Never mind, she's still there.

"Ebina-san!" Shiromeguri piped up with a glare. "You shouldn't be saying those kinds of things!" Eh? She's speaking up now? Where were you the entire last episode?! "It's rude!"

"But-!" The former student council president continued to glare. "...Eheh, sorry senpai!"

Shiromeguri continued to glare for a few more seconds, before smiling. "Ok! That's good enough!" Huh? That glare disappeared really quickly! I was surprised at how quickly she stopped, but I didn't have the time to think about it too much. The episode was still moving forward.

The camera zooms out to show the classroom. "Bears are solitary creatures that feel no insecurity with living alone. Better yet, they get to hibernate. How awesome is that?"

I felt several stares on my back, but once again, they were ignored. I could care less about what the normies (and not-so normies) thought about my opinions. Besides, they have to admit that sleeping for long periods of time is awesome. If they disagree, they're crazy!

Once again, Hachiman's face is shown. "If I were to be reborn, I would definitely want to be a bear." It shows that he was writing in the essay, before cutting to a closeup of a bear drawing.

Haruno managed to stop herself from laughing out loud. "My, Hikigaya-kun, you're quite lazy aren't you?"

I managed to hear her and rolled my eyes. "To work is to lose, after all."

"E-Eh? W-What do you mean by that?" Totsuka asked. Oh shit, I didn't think he would hear that! Think, Hachiman, think!

"U-Um…" Crap! I'm blanking! Luckily, Komachi came to the rescue.

"Basically, Onii-chan is too lazy to do anything!" What?! No! That's technically the truth, but Totsuka can't know!

"O-Oh…" Normally, the silver-haired guy would assume it was a joke, but the previous episode had destroyed the image of Hachiman he held. Maybe that's how he really is?

Suddenly, I felt weak. It was like an innocent being had a negative thought about me. Ah, what's the point of going on...

OPENING PLAYS

Zaimokuza had a hand on his chin. "I see. It's the same opening. That is to be expected." He focused his attention on the screen, trying to search for the smaller details. I rolled my eyes, but didn't say a word. He wasn't being that annoying about it, so I let him be.

Since the room had already watched the opening, almost everyone moved their attention away from the screen and started talking amongst themselves.

"Why were we shown with the essay?" Miura asked, scrunching her face up in thought.

Hayama didn't respond, but he knew the answer. Hikigaya thinks our clique is somewhat similar to the social patterns of wildlife. I'm not too surprised he would think that. Whether that was true or not… it didn't matter.

"Dude, maybe Hikitani-kun was jealous!" Tobe, on the other hand, completely missed the mark.

"Really? Hikigaya doesn't strike me as the jealous type! Haha!" Orimoto laughed, though it was pretty forced.

"Oh… maybe I'm reading things wrong then!" The orange haired guy quickly abandoned his position. It was a cute girl talking to him after all.

In my row, we weren't talking about such irrelevant subjects. Instead, we focused on what was coming up.

"Hmm… Hikigaya-kun, with this information, do you have any other ideas on what will be shown next?" Yukinoshita asked me. It was the same question from earlier, just worded differently. I merely shrugged in response. I guess I can see why she would think I know what's next, since it's supposed to be about my life, but I didn't make this stupid show!

"I think senpai's just hiding what he thinks!" Isshiki, on the other hand, had a different idea. Whoa whoa, what are you doing?!

"Oi. That's just blatant misinformation." Don't try to rope me into your entertainment!

"My, Hikifroggy-kun, don't be so embarrassed." Oh no! The devil woman's back! I turned to look at Yukinoshita, who held the smug smile she always had in these situations. "Maybe we'll see how you intend to spread your germs across the world?"

I rolled my eyes. "For your information, I'm the cleanest person that I know. It's impossible for me to hold any germs." Heh, not the greatest rebuke, but Yukinoshita's insults have decreased in level recently, so I can afford to lower my offense.

As we bantered, Yuigahama looked at us with a… nostalgic expression? "Hehe, it's just like the service club." Are you really fondly remembering the times when my self-esteem was on the verge of destruction?!

Komachi felt a little left out, but the exchanges were still common enough that she sort of knew what the pink-haired girl meant. "Yeah! Onii-chan and Yuki-nee are totally in love with each other!"

That statement made us both freeze. I felt my face grow hot. Now what the hell does our banter have to do with our feelings towards each other?! Er, actually, I can see how. Ok Hachiman, calm down! Avoid saying anything!

I firmly closed my mouth, but Yukinoshita didn't do the same. "U-Um…" She only managed to squeak out that, before covering her face with her hands. Damn, that was adorab- shut up brain!

As we were dealing with our extreme embarrassment, the others were having their own conversations.

"Haru-san!" Shiromeguri was shaking Haruno back and forth. "When did you meet Hikigaya?! I wanna see it!"

The older Yukinoshita giggled. "Don't worry, I bet it will show very soon~. Say, how did you meet him?"

She stopped shaking Haruno and thought about it for a moment. "Hmm… it's been a while, so I don't really remember… Oh, but I'll get to see it here!"

"I bet it was pretty exciting~." The woman leaned back again, going into her thoughts. I can't wait to see what he was thinking when he saw me. Ooh, I'm so excited!

Before anything else could be said from anyone, the opening had ended and the show had resumed.

2. All People Surely Have Their Own Worries.

Huh? The title's at the start now? I guess that makes sense. Having episode titles at the start of the first episode doesn't exactly make sense, but after that, it works better. At least those thoughts distracted me from Komachi's words from earlier.

The camera starts with showing the front of Sobu, before it cuts to a panning of Hachiman's essay.

"You really gave serious props to bears." It shows Hachiman and Hiratsuka talking about the essay.

"I thought you were a modern Japanese teacher."

"I give students life guidance. That's why the biology teacher gave me this theme to assign." Hiratsuka starts tapping her finger on the table. "So, what part of this is 'the ecology of wild animals'?"

Several people from Class 2-F had a sudden flashback to them writing their own essays. Compared to theirs, Hikigaya's was… very unique.

"It's a powerful antithesis on the social habits of wild animals."

"Pfft." Haruno had to cover her mouth to stifle her laughter.

"Onii-chan…" "Senpai…" Komachi and Isshiki deadpanned at me. I feel like I'm being severely judged right now!

"Ohoho, just hearing that really makes me want to punch you, Hikigaya." To make matters worse, I felt the teacher glare at me. Damn it, past self! Why would you write that and subject yourself to Hiratsuka-sensei's punches of death?!

The camera shows Hiratsuka sitting down. "Quit splitting hairs…" She places a finger on her forehead. "You make it sound like living in groups is a sin."

"But you live alone yourself, and are single in fact, so you don't-"

Bad idea, thought nearly everyone.

The screen suddenly goes pitch black, before it shows Hiratsuka's fist dug into Hachiman's stomach. It goes black again, before it shows him hunched over and grabbing his stomach in pain.

The audience went silent for a moment, not expecting Hiratsuka to go that far.

"U-Um… s-should a sensei be acting like that?" Yuigahama shivered slightly at the thought of being punched.

"Ah, don't worry about it." Hiratsuka waved her off. "Hikigaya's fine."

That's a very bold claim, sensei. Maybe you should experience it yourself and see if that statement holds up! Geez, I swear I'm feeling phantom pains from her punches...

Hiratsuka is shown sitting down again. "Anyway, did that request for help go well?"

Hachiman gives a small smile while still hunched over. "Well, she seemed satisfied with our services." He stands up straight, holding his stomach. "Speaking of which, what's going on with that showdown you talked about?"

"Oh, that?" She turns away from him with a smirk. "Don't worry. I'll be passing my own one-sided judgement on the outcome." She taps her chest with her hand, making Hachiman look away. "It's all locked up in here."

Why do I feel like she would be biased? Kawasaki thought. Then again, she didn't really know the relationship between the teacher and the service club. I wonder what happened with that.

On my end, I felt Yukinoshita glare at me. Oi, what's there to get mad about? The chest part? It's not my fault she drew attention to that area! Besides, you're fine the way you are!

Of course, I didn't voice any of that out. I would have been way too embarrassed to say that. Thankfully, she doesn't have esper powers like my sensei, so I should be safe.

"Okay…"

"By the way, what's your opinion of Yukinoshita Yukino?"

Hachiman seems to think about it for a moment. "I don't like her."

Hayama widened his eyes slightly. I didn't know he disliked her at first. While it was stated in the previous episode that he didn't hold feelings for her (yet), he still thought they got along well. For him, hearing that was a surprise.

Haruno giggled softly. "My my, Hikigaya-kun. Yukino-chan might not be happy to hear that, you know?~"

I wanted to wave her off, but Yukinoshita was glaring at me just a second ago. There's a possibility that she might be… a little mad. Oh crap! With great hesitation, I nervously turned my head to face her.

To my surprise, she was not glaring at me. Rather, she was smirking? I have a bad feeling about this…

"I see you were still deluding yourself, Hikigaya-kun." Huh, not the response I expected. "After all, how could someone like you not fall for someone like me?"

"Oi, did you forget my statements from the last episode? I'm worried your memory is eroding. Maybe you should go see a doctor," I retorted.

"That was simply another delusion of yours." Wow, you're really insistent on this. Maybe I'll try throwing a curveball.

"Okay, you win. I've had f-feelings for you since we first met. Happy now?" Damn my stutter. That was a little embarrassing, but I'll have to accept that.

My statement made her suddenly turn away. A faint blush appeared on her cheeks. "I d-didn't expect that…" she muttered to herself. Damn, that was very cute. Finally a victory!

As we bantered, the others watched us with various different expressions. Yuigahama and Isshiki were pouting at the exchange. Komachi held a look of glee.. Zaimokuza was simultaneously betrayed, yet proud of his brother-in-arms. Hiratsuka had a soft smile on her face, glad that the two were able to reach this point.

Meanwhile, Shiromeguri was feeling slightly confused. "How did they get from talking about disliking each other to that?" Her question went unanswered.

"I see." Hiratsuka closes her eyes and smiles. "She is a very bright student, but…" The camera zooms out to show the teacher's lounge. "Well, those who 'have', carry their own burdens. She's actually very sweet."

That statement brought confused expressions to much of the audience. What exactly did that mean?

Yukinoshita snapped out of stupor and widened her eyes. Luckily for her, no one noticed it before she schooled her face back to normal.

"Hiratsuka-sensei, how long have you known Yukino-san for?" Isshiki turned around to ask the teacher behind her. It seemed like she knew a lot about the raven-haired girl.

"Hmm. I might be remembering wrong, but not for too long." The teacher crossed her arms in thought. "Of course, I'd known who she was for a while, thanks to Haruno. But we didn't exactly communicate with each other until the Service Club was established."

"That would be correct," Yukinoshita said with a nod.

"Really?! I totally thought you two had known each other for a long time!" Isshiki exclaimed in shock.

"Heh, we just happen to get along really well," Hiratsuka smirked. "Anyways, I'd like to see what I said to Hikigaya again. It's been some time since this happened."

Isshiki nodded and returned her attention to the screen.

It cuts to a view of some flowers in a pot. "Sweet and, sometimes, she's right. But the rest of the world is neither sweet nor right." Hachiman is shown looking at Hiratsuka with a neutral expression. "Must be hard for her."

"You're both contrary kids, so I'm worried that you'll have trouble adapting to society. It makes me want to bring you together in one place."

"What is that room, a sanatorium?"

"Yeah, maybe."

"Sana… torium?" Yuigahama asked.

Yukinoshita sighed. "A sanatorium is a word used to describe a medical facility in which they treat long-term illnesses. It was mainly used in the 19th and 20th centuries, before the creation of modern medicine." She rubbed her fingers on her nose bridge. "You should have learnt about this already."

The pink haired girl nervously laughed. "Haha…"

"Don't worry, Yui! I didn't know about that either!" Totsuka exclaimed. "So don't feel bad about that!"

Somehow I'm simultaneously surprised and not surprised. On the one hand, I thought Totsuka was pretty smart. The idea that Totsuka would not listen in class sounds too absurd to be true. On the other hand, he's too innocent to know about it!

Hiratsuka turns to Hachiman again. "But you kids are fun to watch." She lets out a small giggle as the camera cuts to a pot with white flowers. "So maybe I just want to keep you close by."

Haruno perked up. "My, my, someone's attached~," she said in a teasing tone.

Hiratsuka rolled her eyes. "I'm a teacher. Why wouldn't a teacher want to see their pupils grow up?"

Haruno pouted. "You never said anything like that about me. So mean, Shizuka!"

I mean, how would you know? Yukinoshita wouldn't have ever known this scene happened if it wasn't for this viewing. Maybe Hiratsuka said that about you once upon a time, you knoooow?

Though, I had a feeling that wasn't the case.

The screen switches to a view of outside the school, where it is raining. Then it shows Hachiman eating inside the classroom. "Normally, I have the best place to eat lunch alone, but when it's raining like this, I have nowhere to go."

"Oh! It's that spot near the courts, right?" Yuigahama suddenly asked.

Oi, why are you leaking my secret lunch areas?! Worse, I can't lie about it either. Several people here already know about it, so I would get caught instantly. "...Yeah," I replied hesitantly.

Totsuka perked up. "Oh yeah! I think that's where we first met!" Ah, that brings back good memories. Now I feel much better! Thank you Totsuka!

Ebina noticed the interaction between the two and started to giggle. However, she refrained from saying anything out loud.

Hachiman drinks some chocolate milk, when Miura pipes up. "Aww, Hayato…"

The camera shows the clique all gathered together, in which Hayama and Miura are having a conversation. "I can't today. I have club."

"Couldn't you skip just one day?" Miura pulls out her phone. "There's a great deal on double scoops at Forty-One today! I want a chocolate and a chocolat one."

"Miura-san! Don't encourage your friends to skip clubs!" Shiromeguri scolded the blonde haired girl. To magnify the effect, she gave the girl a pout.

Miura would have normally waved her off, but the pout made her hesitantly back down. "...Sorry..."

Isshiki considered jumping on the train against her, but ultimately decided against it. After all, there were a few times she skipped club too.

Meanwhile, some people were confused about her wording.

"Eh? Why did she say chocolate twice?" Totsuka questioned.

"Oh yeah!" Yuigahama turned around to face the silver haired guy. She had been to the place a few times with the clique, so she knew what the difference was. "They have two different products spelled 'Chocolate' and 'Chocolat'. Although, they tasted the same…"

"That's stupid," I pointed out. Seriously, that's a weird business decision. Having two products that were spelled very similarly and tasted the same was a bad idea. If I was ever in charge of a company, I wouldn't make a mistake like that!

"Those are both chocolate."

"Yeah, he's right." Ooka says, making them all smile.

"Huh? This seems pretty normal, so why is it showing this scene?" Orimoto asked.

Hayama heard her question and gave his thoughts on the matter. "Perhaps it is our introduction? We may be important characters to Hikitani-kun's story."

Orimoto placed a hand on her chin and thought for a bit. "Yeah… you were all in the same class, right?"

"Yeah!" Tobe piped up. "Almost everyone here was in the same class!"

As they talked, Kawasaki had her own thoughts. The show already showed off the clique at the start, didn't it? I don't see the point in doing it again. Something else is going to happen, I think.

The camera suddenly cuts to show Yuigahama, seemingly flinching when Miura speaks. "They're totally different! And I'm really hungry!"

"Oh…" Yuigahama suddenly remembered this. It was before the first time she ate with Yukinon, wasn't it? Do we have to watch this?

I also remembered this, although I didn't know the pink-haired girl knew as well. Since this was technically from my point of view, it was easier for me to remember these events. The rest of the audience still seemed clueless, although I have a feeling that won't last for long.

Hayama rejects her offer. "Sorry, but I'll have to pass today. Besides, Yumiko, you'll regret it if you eat too much."

"I don't gain weight, no matter how much I eat."

"Seriously?! Wow, I'm jealous!" Orimoto piped up with an easygoing smile. "I always have to monitor my intake!"

Miura, who finally recovered from Shiromeguri's attack from earlier, simply patted her shoulder. "Don't worry. You look cute enough already. I bet you'll be fine if you let loose a little bit."

The brown haired girl rubbed her cheek. "Oh, really? If you say so!"

"Yeah, Yumiko, your figure is seriously godlike!" It zooms in to show Yuigahama holding a pink bag. "Your legs are gorgeous! So anyway, I just…"

"You think so?" Miura makes a smug face and looks away from her. "But that Yukinoshita-san girl looks even more amazing, doesn't she?"

Yukinoshita turned around to glare at the blonde haired girl. Seeing the pink bag made her realize what this moment was. She didn't hear what had occurred before she barged in, so hearing this was new for her. "My, Miura-san, I didn't realize you were so… interested."

Miura returned the glare. "I wasn't giving you a compliment!"

"Oh? Then what would that be considered?"

She opened her mouth to retort, but then froze. Her memory was coming back to her, and she suddenly remembered when this was taking place. So she closed her mouth and turned away from the black haired beauty.

That reaction surprised Yukinoshita. Giving up like that didn't seem to be in Miura's personality. What happened? She turned back to the screen with a confused expression.

As the two were arguing, Haruno internally nodded in approval. Yukino-chan is so much more interesting when she speaks up! Onee-chan is proud! At the same time, Zaimokuza shivered in fear, as he was in between the two girl's line of sight. Hiratsuka was too, but she didn't seem to notice.

Then there was me. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I agreed with Miura. Yukinoshita's legs are so- Gah, what are you doing brain?! Focus!

"Yeah, Yukinon is amazing…"

"Yukinon?"

Hachiman looks back at the two girls in the corner of his eye. "Uh, but you look way more glamorous, Yumiko!" Miura makes a movement with her hands, cutting Yuigahama off.

That made a few people frown, but no one spoke up.

It was here that Hayama spoke up again. "Oh, why not? I can go with you after my club."

A very faint blush can be seen on Miura's face. "Ok, Hayato. Send me a text."

"Hayama-san!" Shiromeguri aimed a disappointed look at the blonde haired guy. "While I appreciate you not skipping club, you need to focus on your studies!"

He sheepishly rubbed his neck. "Sorry, Shiromeguri-senpai. I felt prepared enough already. I didn't think I needed to do much more."

"Hmph! Just be careful and pass all of your tests! Or senpai won't be very happy!" She wagged a finger as she spoke.

I chuckled at Shiromeguri's behavior, but inwardly I was frowning. I had a feeling the tension would be rising soon.

As this is going on, Hachiman observes the group as he eats. "Damn, that looks really rough. Are they a feudal society or what? If you have to kiss up to people that much to feel complete, I'd rather fly solo forever."

"Wise words, Hachiman!" Zaimokuza declared. Ugh, I should feel grossed out, but I don't. Don't tell me that I'm taking his compliments seriously?!

Hachiman didn't know it, but several people internally agreed with him. All of whom were notably not in the clique. That included Kawasaki, who was slightly surprised at how similar their own thoughts were. Kissing up to people, ugh. I hate doing that, especially if I'm not being paid to do it.

Yuigahama peeks back and notices his observing of the situation. With some hesitation, she turns back to the group and speaks up. "Um… I've got somewhere to go during lunch."

Miura is the first to respond. "Yeah? Then could you pick up some of that lemon tea for me? I forgot to bring a drink today."

"Uh, but I won't be back until fifth period…" It shows her still grabbing the pink bag. "I'll be gone for all of lunch, so I don't know if I can…"

While her memory was a bit spotty, Miura knew that she said some things that she regretted saying. But the specifics evaded her. D-Did I say something really rude to Yui? I can't remember…

Meanwhile, Ebina was watching the screen with a frown. The screen may have shown her only eating without saying a word, but she definitely remembered this moment. Unlike Miura though, she remembered what happened.

"Huh? What're you saying? You haven't been very sociable lately, Yui."

"Well, you might say… it's kinda out of my hands…" It cuts to a closeup of Miura. "I hate to let personal matters take me away, but…"

"That doesn't tell me anything. Just say it straight. We're friends, aren't we?"

"Sorry."

At this point, several other students are starting to notice the conversation. "I told you, 'sorry' doesn't cut it. There's something you want to say, right?"

The audience was quickly becoming uncomfortable as the tension in the room started to rise. No one wanted to see someone chew out a friend of theirs.

Hiratsuka was even prepared to make a comment to Miura, but when she turned around, she saw the blonde haired girl holding a pained expression. Ah. She doesn't like this either, huh? She turned her focus back to the screen, not saying a word.

"U-Um…" Totsuka was tempted to say something, but he was too nervous to put it into words. It just felt wrong to do so right now.

Hachiman turns away from the two girls. "Idiotic. Go ahead and tear down your own friend." He quickly looks at his phone, before he looks at Yuigahama. "It's not like I have any desire to help her whatsoever, but when I see a girl I know looking like she's about to cry, my stomach twists up and nothing tastes good."

So those were his thoughts… A soft smile appeared on Yuigahama's face. Thanks Hikki.

Near the back, Miura tightened her fists. He was right. And she didn't like it.

"Besides, I'm the one who belongs in the position of being attacked. I can't just hand that over to someone else."

"Huh?"

That was the collective sound made by those who didn't know Hachiman well. Hayama was one of those people. I knew he did that thing on the Kyoto trip, but this just sounds… wrong. Even for someone like me.

As for those who were more familiar with his behavior…

Yukinoshita and Komachi were both glaring at me, sending shivers down my spine. I knew why, but it was still scary. Please forgive me for my past self's words! I also noticed Yuigahama looking at me with a concerned face, but she wasn't glaring at least. Thank you for your mercy!

"Hachiman, Hachiman." Zaimokuza suddenly spoke up behind me. He was waving a finger. "While your words sounded cool, I'm afraid you're in the wrong genre!"

Isshiki deadpanned at the chuunibyou. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked in a cold tone.

The chuunibyou started sweating. "W-Well, Hachiman here is in a r-romcom. The protagonists usually don't h-have that line of thinking!"

I sighed and turned to face Zaimokuza. "Quit comparing my life to a whole genre. While the screen might be showing my life in a weird anime-like format, everything shown has happened before. That automatically makes me better than a typical romcom protagonist." And far beyond your two-dimensional characters!

The white haired teen flinched slightly. "Aye aye…" He backed off without another word. That didn't surprise me much, although I don't know if he'll finally stop with the comparisons or not. Eh, they were annoying, but they could be much worse.

...Oh, the two girls are still glaring at me.

"Onii-chan…" "Hikigaya-kun…"

"I've already said it before!" I cut in before the two could say anything else. "Quit glaring at me for mistakes I've already corrected!" Seriously, what's with everyone's short-term memory loss?

"But Onii-chan…" Komachi made a face that nearly made me collapse, but I held strong. Not today, imouto!

Yukinoshita frowned for a moment, before turning back to the screen. He makes a good point, but I cannot help glaring at him for his stupidity. Still, it may be better to refrain from treating him too harshly.

The screen shows a close up of Hachiman's face as he stands up. He turns to the girls and starts talking. "Hey, how about-"

The camera rapidly zooms in towards Miura, showing her making a disgusted expression. A drawing of a snake is shown next to her. "Shut your mouth."

Hachiman smoothly rewords his planned sentence. "H-How about I go get myself something to drink. Or maybe I won't." He sits back down in his chair.

That managed to get a few chuckles out of the audience.

"You backed down quite quickly," Yukinoshita observed with a smirk.

"I'm not brave enough to face the fire queen in this state," I pointed out. Unfortunately, the atmosphere was still thick with tension. Should I be worried about suffocating?

Miura moves her attention back to Yuigahama. "Oh, yeah. I will say this for your sake. That indecisive attitude of yours is really irritating."

The tension increased. It was starting to become unbearable. Any minute now, the tension would snap and something terrible would happen.

Ebina frowned, disappointed that she didn't try anything to stop this from happening. Though, she understood why. If the clique was stronger, I could have intervened...

"Sorry…"

"That again? All you've been doing is apologizing."

"I'm sorry!"

Those words cut through the theatre, which had been silent except for the show on the screen. Eyes turned to the person who shouted it out. And to everyone's surprise, it was Miura, who was now standing.

Hooh, I didn't expect that, Haruno thought. She thought that she was too focused on Hayato to bother with anyone else. That's… interesting.

Hayama was also slightly surprised, but a small smile appeared on his face. After all, it meant the clique wouldn't fall apart from this. I hope this brings them closer together.

Yuigahama, on the other hand, was staring at Miura with an expression of surprise. "Yumiko…?"

The blonde haired girl hung her head down. "L-Like, I know it's very overdue, but… I-I never apologized for saying that, did I?" She tightened her fists. "So… I'm sorry for saying that to you!"

Silence. For a few seconds, the whole theatre was quiet. Everyone wondered what Yuigahama would say in response. The tension seemed to reach a tipping point.

Then Yuigahama started to giggle softly. That threw some people off guard, although I half expected this. That was just how she was, wasn't it?

"Hehe, isn't this funny?" She scratched her cheek. "I was saying 'Sorry' a lot back then, and now you're doing the same!"

Hm? That wasn't the response I was expecting. Don't tell me she was holding in a lot of repressed rage?! Apparently, Miura was worried about the same thing, because her fists tightened even more.

"But that's okay!" And just like that, both of our concerns were dispelled. She tilted her head and giggled. "We're friends. And I wasn't even that mad about it anyways! Besides, that happened so long ago that I needed a refresher!"

Miura finally brought her head up to look at Yuigahama. Her face was filled with so much relief that I was taken aback. She was really concerned about this, huh? I guess the fire queen may have cooled off a bit.

"T-Thank you!" The blonde haired girl sat down again and leaned back into her chair. The tension in her body released and she sighed in content. "Ahh, I feel so much better."

With the issue apparently resolved, the tension had mostly disappeared. However, just because there was nothing in real-life to worry about, didn't mean that the viewing was over. After all, the argument was still going on.

Before Yuigahama can reply, someone else cuts in. "You're apologizing to the wrong person, Yuigahama-san." The two turn to look at the entrance, along with the rest of the class.

Standing by the entrance into the classroom is Yukinoshita. "Yuigahama-san, if you're going to invite me yourself and then not show up, I have to wonder what that says about you."

Some of the audience thought that seemed rude to say, but that was only because they knew why Yuigahama was late. Without the context of the situation, it made sense why Yukinoshita would say that.

That didn't stop the raven-haired girl from speaking up. "U-Um, I do apologize for my words, Yuigahama-san…"

"Don't worry about it Yukinon!" The pink haired girl hugged Yukinoshita, making her blush. Did you really expect anything different? I knew exactly what she was going to do. She released the hug quickly, wanting to remember what happened next.

The camera pans over the students in the classroom. "If you're going to be late, isn't it common courtesy to call me?"

Yuigahama lightly jogs over to her. "Sorry! But I don't know your number…"

"Oh? Then I guess it's not entirely your fault. I'll let it go this time."

"Really? You didn't get her number?" Totsuka asked with a tilted head. "I think you asked for m-my number pretty early on...

"H-Hehe," Yuigahama rubbed her cheek with a finger. "I didn't really think about that at the time…"

Miura stands up from her chair. "H-Hey! You and I aren't finished talking!"

"Talking? You consider that a conversation?" Yukinoshita retorted. "It appeared to me like you were just forcing her opinions on her."

Despite having made up with Yui, Miura still flinched. The raven-haired girl's statement was completely true. Her friend's words from earlier, however, kept her calm.

"What?!"

"I'm sorry I didn't notice. I'm not well-versed in the ecosystem you all live in. Sorry. I thought you were an ape trying to intimidate me." The camera switches to show the clique looking at Yukinoshita as she talks. "It's fine if you want to play king of the mountain and try to look tough, but please keep it confined to your own territory. Your bluff will quickly flake off, just like your makeup."

...Whoa, that was a powerful attack. With Yukinoshita having cooled off (or would it be warmed up?) recently, I forgot how deadly her insults could be.

I wasn't the only one startled by the long-winded insult. Despite not even looking at him, I could feel Zaimokuza's fear. He's still scared of what Yukinoshita said to him before, huh?

Isshiki shivered. "Yukino is scary…" Thankfully, she never really got onto her bad side. How did Senpai deal with that? Maybe he really is a masochist...

"Huh? What are you talking about? You make no sense."

Of course, if you don't understand a word of the insult, then it has no effect! Damn, that's a really good defense. Maybe I should have tried that...

Wait, why am I using gamer terms?! I'm not a chuunibyou! I swear!

"Okay, okay…" Hayama suddenly jumps into the conversation. "Yukinoshita-san, that's enough." She simply looks away from him. "You too, Yumiko."

Haruno didn't show it on her face, but she was quite disappointed. How boring. I wanted to see what Yukino-chan would say.

For some reason, Hayama felt slightly uncomfortable all of sudden. He shook it off though. That was odd...

Miura sits back at her desk, biting her thumb in frustration. Yukinoshita is about to take Yuigahama out of the classroom, but she notices her grabbing the pink bag.

"I'll go on ahead."

Yuigahama looks up from the floor and smiles at the black haired girl. "I'll be right behind you!" With a nod, Yukinoshita leaves the classroom.

At the same time, everyone outside of Hayama's clique starts leaving the classroom. "Man, I'm thirsty. I'm gonna go get a drink." "Yeah me too!" "I think I'll go to the restroom…" "Oh, I need to go take care of that!"

"Tch." Miura clicked her tongue in annoyance. "Listening in on our conversation…"

You realize that you were the one who started it in a public classroom, right?

"You realize that you were the one who started it in a public classroom, right?!" Kawasaki, to my surprise, shouted out. Huh, she repeated the same thing I was thinking. Wait, didn't something like this happen earlier too?

Miura angrily retorted, "Hey! That doesn't give them-"

"Now, Yumiko, calm down." Hayama placed a hand on the blonde haired girl. "It's in the past, alright? You and Yui already talked it out." The interruption made her stop her retort and she sat down. She didn't feel satisfied, but it was Hayato that stopped her, so she felt a little better.

Kawasaki continued to glare at Miura, but didn't say another word. There's no point in arguing right now.

"If the mood gets any more serious in here, I'll suffocate and die."

I snorted at that. That sentence described the mood in the theatre just a few minutes ago. If Miura did not apologize to Yuigahama, I fear for what would have happened.

Hachiman gets up to leave as well, but as he is about to exit the room, Yuigahama speaks up.

"Thanks Hikki… for standing up for me."

A blush erupted on Yuigahama's face. No one else was supposed to hear that! Thankfully for her, no one reacted to it very much. The atmosphere was still slightly tense from earlier, so smaller things like that bypassed their attention.

Hachiman stops for a moment, before he continues and closes the classroom door. He then notices Yukinoshita waiting outside.

Miura stood up and glared at the raven haired girl. "Oi! Why are you listening in on us?!"

"Oh?" Yukinoshita turned around. "I was still waiting for Yuigahama-san to join me for lunch. I could not, in good conscience, leave without her."

Miura opened her mouth to argue, but realized that she couldn't retort her statement. With a click of her tongue, she sat back down. "Tch."

The camera switched back into the classroom with Yuigahama and Miura. "Sorry. I just feel uneasy when I don't match everyone else. Like, I end up trying to follow the mood.

It zooms out to show the whole classroom. "I've always been like that, you know? When we played house, I wanted to be the mother, but if someone else wanted to do it, I'd be the dog. It might be because I grew up in a housing complex."

Miura continues to type on her phone. "I have no idea what you're trying to say."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm not sure, either. But watching Hikki and Yukinon made me think… They say what they think and pick up on each other's moods, and they seem to have fun without trying to match each other." Her eyes became watery. "They just seem right."

Hiratsuka nodded to herself, a soft smile on her face. Those two were perfect for each other. I'm so glad they were able to get past their issues.

On the other hand, both Yukinoshita and Hachiman blushed at her comments. It wasn't their first time listening to it, but considering their current relationship with each other, those words held a different meaning to them.

Iroha felt a slight pain in her chest, but she shrugged it off. She knew Yui wasn't referring to a romantic relationship with those words.

The screen switches to show Yukinoshita and Hachiman waiting outside of the classroom, listening in to the conversation.

"So I thought, maybe I was wrong to try so hard to match everyone else." It zooms in on Hachiman's face. "I mean, Hikki is totally reclusive, right? He pretends to sleep during breaks and laughs while he reads books, and it's so creepy." He sweatdrops at the words.

"...U-Um, is it n-not normal to laugh while r-reading?" Totsuka nervously asked.

The pink haired girl flushed. "Nono! It's just…" She glanced over to Hachiman. "...Hikki's laughs are kind of creepy."

"Really? But Hachiman's laughs seem normal to me?"

I was following along with the conversation and felt a sense of joy from Totsuka's words. Thank you! You're the first person to say that to me in so long!

Yukinoshita smirks at him. "I thought you only did that weird laugh in the club room. But you do it in the classroom too?" She stops smirking. "That really is creepy, so you should probably stop."

My joy was brought down at the black haired girl's words from the screen. Another insult to my laugh, as usual. Although, now that I think about it, I don't think anyone's insulted my laugh in the past month or so. Of course, that wasn't including Yuigahama just now, but I'm not sure if that was referencing my laugh from before.

...Can a person's laugh change like that?

"If you noticed it, say so then."

"No way. I don't want to talk to you when you're being creepy."

"Psst." Orimoto tapped Miura's shoulder. "I don't know a lot about Yukinoshita-san, but is she usually firing off insults like this?"

The blonde haired girl rolled her eyes. "All the time. Like, she can be really annoying about it too." She paused for a second. "Though, they've definitely been less frequent recently. Guess Hikio's finally getting to her."

Orimoto nodded and leaned back in her seat. That's a relief. I wouldn't want to be on the other side of her insults.

The screen cuts back to Yuigahama and Miura. "And, well… that's the story. It's not that I don't like you, Yumiko. So… think we can still be friends?"

Miura snaps her phone closed. "Really? I guess so."

"Sorry. Thanks."

"...Um… Compared to the d-discussion just now…"

"That felt really shallow, right?" Iroha finished off Totsuka's sentence. "It feels like blondie didn't really care at the time."

Miura felt a flash of anger, but she tempered it. They might be right. I don't know what I was thinking back then. Yui's constant apologizing probably annoyed me, but the way I responded was just… shallow.

Shiromeguri looked nervously at the rows below. "Um… please don't fight!" She called out.

"Oh, don't worry about it, Meguri!" Haruno placed a hand on her shoulder. "Miura-san's apology is still in their minds. There's no point arguing about the past, right?"

"Oh, that's good!" Shiromeguri relaxed, although she kept an eye on the people below. As the former student council president, she was one of the best choices to break up any fights.

It returns to show Yukinoshita smiling. "So she can actually say it." And with no other words, she leaves the hallway and Hachiman behind. Moments later, Yuigahama finally emerges from the classroom. When she spots Hachiman, she appears startled.

"What are you doing here, Hikki?! Were you listening?!"

Hachiman looks away from her. "T-To what?"

A few of the watchers chuckled. "That kind of reaction makes it obvious you were listening in, Onii-chan," Komachi deadpanned.

I flushed at her words. "I-It's not my fault Yukinoshita left me so suddenly." Was she actually planning on that the whole time? It really seems like she was!

...She's not denying it was her fault?!

"You were! Eavesdropper! Creepy! Stalker! Pervert! Also, creepy! You're seriously way too creepy!"

Kawasaki winced at the choice of words. Yuigahama-san calls him creepy a lot. Kind of weird, considering she has a thing for him. I think there's a word for those kinds of people, but I forgot the name…

Yukinoshita glanced at Yuigahama next to her. I know we both tended to insult Hikigaya-kun, but hearing it now still makes me feel… uncomfortable. Maybe they went a bit far…?

Totsuka was terrified. "U-Um… t-t-that w-was a l-lot of i-insults…"

"Learn a little restraint…"

"Huh? Why would I show restraint now? Whose fault do you think it is? Stupid!" She sticks out her tongue as Hachiman just blankly looks at her.

"Whose fault?" It shows Yuigahama catching up to Yukinoshita. "Obviously… It's Yukinoshita's right?" The screen slowly fades to black.

"Anddd that's the midway point of the episode." Hiratsuka stretched out her arms, unintentionally pushing out her chest. Thankfully (?), I wasn't looking at her when that happened. Rather, I was looking at the other people sitting behind me.

I noticed that Zaimokuza had been acting pretty quiet since I scolded him earlier. He seemed to be determinedly staring at the screen. Huh, I wonder what's on his mind.

...On second thought, I'd rather not know.

I moved my attention to the clique sitting near the top (Totsuka, I'm sorry for ignoring you!). They seemed mostly relaxed, but the atmosphere was slightly tense. I wonder why? It's not like they ever cared about being genuine with each other.

...Maybe I'm being a bit harsh. Miura seems to really care about her friends. A lot more than she did when that scene happened. And I know Ebina cares about the clique as well, regardless of how fake it may be. It's certainly more "genuine" than it once was.

Now if only Hayama would finally tell Miura to back off. It's been clear for a while that he has no intentions to actually be in a relationship with her. While I'm far from the biggest fan of the fire queen, I do hold some respect for her. So seeing her act all lovely with Hayama and knowing he won't do anything about it kind of ticks me off.

But it's not like I can really do anything about it. Besides, maybe the screen would do something about that status quo they're stuck in?

Wait…

"Onii-chan!" My sister shook me out of my thoughts. She was pouting for some reason. "Stop staring at Miura-san! Instead, you need to be staring at Yuki-nee!"

My cheeks heated up quickly. "W-What?" Oi! That's a really embarrassing comment! Watch your words, Komachi! "I-I wasn't staring at anything."

She squinted her eyes at me, as if she didn't believe me. "Hmmmmmm…"

"It's the truth!" Maybe it looked like I was staring, but I really wasn't!

"Komachi." Yukinoshita cut into the conversation. "I would appreciate it if you did not doubt your brother so much." She smirked. "I would certainly know if he is staring at something that I would not approve of."

Eh?! You're a dictator! And how would you know about that? She better not have developed esper powers like Hiratsuka has! If she has, it's over for me!

As Hachiman panicked over the possibility, several other people had noticed his semi-staring. One of which was Ebina.

"Hehehe, I saw that! Hikitani-kun was staring at Haya-" Her words were abruptly cut off by Kawasaki covering her mouth. "Mmmph!"

"When will you say something that doesn't have to do with Hikigaya and that stupid blonde guy?!" The blue haired girl yelled out. "It's really weird!"

"Mmm!" Ebina tried struggling free, but Kawasaki's grip was strong. She wasn't letting go anytime soon.

Well, that would have been the case if not for a former student council president intervening. "Kawasaki-san! Don't choke your friends!" Shiromeguri cried out. "It's not very-"

"Now, Meguri-chan, let them be!" Haruno piped up. "They're just doing what friends do, you know?"

"...I don't think I've seen friends choke each other though..."

"Hah, don't worry about it. Kawasaki-san is bound to let go eventually." Internally, Haruno found Ebina... quite amusing. Hikigaya-kun and Hayama together is such a funny idea! Someone who wants to have something "genuine", and someone who wants to keep things the way they are. Ah, I can't help but laugh at how absurd it is!

It only took a few seconds before the screen started to flicker back on. Kawasaki released Ebina from her clutches, but not before giving a quick glare. Everyone was curious to see what was next.

The screen starts with showing a view of the top of the school, before cutting to Hachiman walking in the hallway. He stops to see Yukinoshita and Yuigahama peeking into the service club room.

"What are you doing?" Hachiman asks, startling the two girls. They both glare at him.

"Would you not sneak up on us like that?"

"Hm? I do not recall this event," Yukinoshita thought out loud. "Yuigahama-san, do you remember this?"

"Um…" The pink haired girl thought for a moment. "...Sorry, I don't remember."

"I mean, only two lines have been said so far," I cut in. "You usually don't remember something like that." I don't even remember this myself, although I'll probably find out very soon.

"...Valid point." Yukinoshita nodded and turned back to the screen.

"Sorry, sorry. So, what are you doing?"

The two nervously look at each other, before explaining. "There's someone suspicious in the club room."

"What?"

"What?"

Most of the audience expressed their confusion. Only the three people who were there didn't. That was because they finally remembered what this event was.

"Ohhh, it's this!"

"Sigh, this will not be pleasant."

I didn't say anything, but I sent out a silent prayer to Zaimokuza. Let's hope his already low reputation isn't shattered by this.

Hachiman opens the door with the two girls behind him. The camera zooms out to show a coat, before it cuts to scenes of papers being blown around. A man is crossing his arms.

Totsuka recognized the arms. "W-Wait, is that-"

"Imagine meeting you here." It shows the back of their head, revealing white hair. The trio simply stare blankly at the person. "I've waited so long for this, Hikigaya Hachiman!" The background turns purple and dark, before the person makes a pose. Around him, glowing purple lights surround him.

The theatre was silent for a few moments. It felt like no one knew what to say.

Except for the person in question. "Heh heh heh, looks like my introduction was done excellently." The white haired chuunibyou shifted his glasses up. "All it needs is my name!"

"Hmm, I don't know about that one, Zaimokuza," Hiratsuka cut in. "While it certainly established you as a person, it doesn't quite fit with this genre. Wouldn't you say?"

Zaimokuza thought about it for a moment. "Hmm, that is a fair point." He leaned back into his chair. "Perhaps I could have had-"

"Can you shut up?!" Miura yelled with an annoyed expression. "We have a show to watch!"

"G-Gah! Understood, ma'am…" Zaimokuza curled into himself slightly. Jeez, just one comment and he's already like that? He's not going to enjoy this.

"...U-um, I liked your i-introduction!" Totsuka hesitantly gave his opinion. But Zaimokuza merely grunted and focused on the screen.

It cuts back to the club room. "You know him?" Yukinoshita asks.

Hachiman turns his face away. "Nope. Even if I knew this guy, I wouldn't know him."

"Don't tell me you've forgotten the face of your partner." It shows a samurai arm raising a katana. "You disgust me, Hachiman!"

"Why does the weirdo have better effects than everyone else?" Isshiki innocently asked.

The question made the weirdo in question dramatically grab his shirt, as if he was in pain. "Grk! P-Perhaps you could p-phrase your words a little better?"

"Eh? Did I say something wrong?"

"...N-Never mind." There was no point in retorting. Even he recognized a battle that would lead to a loss.

"He says he's your partner," Yuigahama observes.

Zaimokuza points a finger at the group. "That's right, partner! I know you remember those hellish times we went through together."

"Really?" Komachi asked, turning around to face the silver haired guy.

Despite his current state, Zaimokuza nodded. "T-The terrors we have faced have certainly strengthened our bond to an unbreakable level!"

Ugh, you sound really stupid right now. And what kinds of terrors are you even talking about?

"I might've been paired up with him in gym or something."

"..."

Zaimokuza received several deadpan stares from the others. He sweatdropped from the attention, but stood strong. "A-An evil custom, it was!"

"An evil custom, indeed. Pair up with whoever you like, they say?" He chuckles. "I am a man who could perish at any time. I do not make friends!"

"As much as I cringe at this behavior, don't bully Zaimokuza too much," I said before anyone else could say anything. I needed to speak up, in order to not completely demolish his self-worth. Then again, the fact he faced off against a Yukinoshita insult and came out somewhat okay (?) is proof that he may not be terribly affected by this in the long-run.

The silver haired guy weakly smiled and gave a thumbs up. "D-Don't worry, Hachiman. I can handle the attacks. They mean nothing in the long run!"

Hmm, well, if you insist.

The three just look at him blankly, before Hachiman sighs. "What do you want, Zaimokuza?"

"So you do know him!" Yuigahama accused.

"Who is this?" Yukinoshita asked.

Zaimokuza mimics putting a katana away. "I am the Kengo Shogun, Zaimokuza Yoshiteru!"

"Kengo Shogun?" Tobe loudly asked. "What's that?"

Huh, for a second, I thought Yuigahama would have asked that. Either she somehow already knew, or perhaps Tobe was just faster?

"Umm, I think it is a reference to the name of an old ruler?" Shiromeguri explained, with a finger on her chin. "If I remember right, their last name was the same as Zaimokuza-san's."

"Correct!" exclaimed the person in question. "His name was-"

"That's pretty cool!" Tobe interrupted, facing Shiromeguri. He didn't intend to speak over Zaimokuza, but that was what happened. Speaking of which, he slumped over with a gloomy face.

Jeez, he doesn't get any breaks, does he? How many times is something like this going to happen?

"And so this friend of yours wants something from you?" Yukinoshita asked.

"He's not my friend," Hachiman explained.

Zaimokuza nodded. "That's right. I have no friends. Seriously. Not one."

…

"That's kind of depressing…" Orimoto muttered. "And he's not embarrassed to say that?"

"Well, he seems pretty weird," Miura pointed out. "Like, it's obvious by the way he acts."

Orimoto nodded, although she didn't really see it as a bad thing. Tamanawa was also pretty weird, but he was still kind of fun to hang out with.

"Yoshiteru!" Totsuka cried out, turning to the mentioned person with a sad expression. "W-What about me?"

"Ah, Saika, do not worry! This was before I met you, if you recall!"

"Oh, that's right!" Totsuka's expression rapidly brightened up. "We're friends, right?"

Zaimokuza nodded with a small smile. "Indeed, we are." Totsuka's expression became so bright that it was nearly blinding.

"Anyway, Hachiman! This is where I might find the Service Club, correct?"

"Yes, this is the service club."

Zaimokuza stared at Yukinoshita for a few seconds, before turning back to the fish eyed man. "I thought so! If the advice Ms. Hiratsuka gave me was correct, then, Hachiman, you have a duty to grant my wish."

"Hiratsuka-sensei, why did you insist on telling all of our clients that 'we granted wishes?'" Yukinoshita asked, sounding slightly frustrated.

"Consider it free advertising!" The teacher replied. "The service club sure sounds a lot more appealing if it can grant wishes, right?"

"But we're not genies. We can't just grant any wish from the top of a hat," I pointed out. It's fake advertising and I really don't like that!

"Hmm, fair point. However, does it matter in the end?" Hiratsuka retorts.

"I mean, not really. Just kind of annoying having to explain that, you know?" I retorted back. Maybe I should slow down. I might accidentally say something I'll regret…

Hiratsuka smirked. "Sounds like you're just complaining for the sake of complaining."

I opened my mouth to retort again, but then I immediately closed it. I was totally about to say something about her age there. So instead, I turned back to the screen.

Yukinoshita, however, assumed my silence meant something else. "Oh? Hikilazy-kun isn't fighting back? My, you're quite lazy."

"I didn't say anything because I would have regretted it afterwards," I grumbled. "Besides, you disliked doing it too, didn't you?"

"Hmm, perhaps it was a bit inconvenient." The black haired girl surprisingly agreed with me with not that many insults. My self-esteem thanks you for your mercy!

The camera pans up Zaimokuza's body. "To think, after countless centuries, our bond is still that of master and servant. Could it be the guide of Hachiman Daibosatsu?"

"The what?" Tobe asked.

"Don't worry about it," I replied. "Besides, I'm pretty sure I will explain it later." No point in wasting my time if I'm just going to repeat myself.

Little did Hachiman know, Ebina had a terrifying idea. "Ohohoho! Could it be that I had it all wrong?! Maybe the real ship was-!"

Kawasaki firmly held her hand against the girl's mouth. No! Don't say it! Please! Ebina tried to fight back, but she quickly gave up when she knew her friend would not let her say it.

"The Service Club isn't for granting your wishes. We only help people."

Zaimokuza again stares at Yukinoshita, with sweat on his face, before he turns away. "Then, Hachiman, lend me your assistance! As I recall, our bond is that of equals. Let us strive once more to conquer this world!"

"What happened to our master and servant relationship?"

"Cough! Cough! Such trivial things matter not between you and me. I shall… forgive…" Zaimokuza trails off when he sees the disgusted expressions of the two girls. He starts profusely sweating before he again tears his eyes away from them and stares at Hachiman.

In the present, Zaimokuza was sweating a little. Even though he had already experienced this before, seeing the expressions on the two girls still scared him. A man should never be under those kinds of glares!

He was not the only one who had a nervous look. Tobe also sweated slightly, despite not being on the other end of their expressions.

At some point, Kawasaki did remove her hand from Ebina's mouth, but she was ready to do it again if necessary. Ebina was very tempted to say something, but for once, she held back.

"Why are you looking at me?" asked Hachiman.

Before Zaimokuza could respond, someone tugs on Hachiman's sleeve. "Hikigaya-kun, a moment." Yukinoshita leans up to whisper into his ear, making him blush very faintly. "What does he mean by 'Kengo Shogun'?"

"My, you're embarrassed?" Yukinoshita said in a teasing tone.

Her tone made my cheeks flush slightly. "A-Any guy would flush if a girl got close to them like that!" I'm pretty sure it's happened to me several times.

"Oh? Any girl?~" Isshiki slyly smirked. "Want me to test that?"

Before I could stutter out a response, Yukinoshita coldly responded, "I'm afraid I must discourage that, Isshiki-san."

Isshiki flinched back. "Eep! Don't use that scary tone against me!" she cried out. Hah, you finally experienced a sliver of the pain I had to go through!

"That's a delusion of grandeur."

"Delusion of grandeur?"

"A delusion of grandeur is…"

The screen goes black, before it cuts back to show a speaker and a fan on the wall.

"Huh? Why did it cut out my explanation?" I asked out loud without realizing it.

"Maybe the screen thought it wasn't worth showing?" Yuigahama suggested. Ouch, that's harsh. She realized what she said a second later. "W-Wait, that's not what I meant!"

"I believe it was likely due to time," Hiratsuka suggested, her arms crossed. "It would be pointless to take up crucial broadcasting time on a long-winded explanation that would not be beneficial for the future of the show."

Hmm, that's a reasonable explanation. While I'm sort of offended that my explanations aren't good enough to show, it would have been a waste of time to listen to it again. Though, where did it skip to?

"So it's not an illness," Hachiman finishes explaining.

Ah, it's after I explain everything.

...Isn't that obvious?! Obviously it would skip to after the explanation! That's just logic!

"I don't get it." Yuigahama hugs herself with a disgusted expression.

"You're saying he's basically acting out a setting he's created for himself?" Yukinoshita clarifies.

"Pretty much. And…" He looks at Zaimokuza, who is making exaggerated movements. "Just because he happens to have the same name, he's apparently convinced that he's the thirteenth Muromachi shogun, Ashikaga Yoshiteru."

"Indeed, I am!" Zaimokuza declared. But everyone just ignored him.

"Oh! That was the name!" Shiromeguri exclaimed. "Hikigaya sure knows his stuff!"

Next to her, Haruno was silently giggling. Hehe~, I wonder how Hikigaya-kun knows. Perhaps he was like Zaimokuza-san in the past? Oh, that's so funny!

Hayama also had his own curiosities about how much Hikigaya knew, but he chalked it up to Zaimokuza-san telling him about it. Anyone who wasn't there for the explanation did not suspect anything about that fact.

"Why does he regard you as his partner?"

"My name is Hachiman Daibosatsu, the bodhisattva revered by the Seiwa Genji as a god of war."

"...I understood none of that," Tobe stated. Looks like someone didn't pay attention to their classes! Wait, I'm not sure if I even learned that in my class. I might have learned that during the dark ages.

"Do not worry! I believe Hachiman shall explain everything momentarily!" Zaimokuza confidently claimed. Right, I think I did explain myself after this.

"I'm surprised. You're quite well-informed."

"I guess. Well, at least he's basing his setting on actual history."

"There are people worse than him?"

"Yep."

I got shivers just thinking about that. The internet is a scary place…

"Purely for my own reference, what others are there?"

Hachiman just looks at her for a second, before going into detail. "The first seven gods of this world included the three creator deities, the good emperor Galan, the war goddess Methica, and the protector Heartia, as well as…" He abruptly stops himself. "Hey, you're pretty smooth with leading questions. I'm actually freaked out. I almost went into way too much detail."

Hayama sat up. He sure knows a lot about that. I wonder… maybe he was like Zaimokuza-san at some point? Unknown to him, his thoughts lined up with Haruno's earlier thoughts. Only, she was now completely certain that Hikigaya was formerly a chuunibyou.

Yukinoshita smirked. "My, you don't have much faith in me, Hikigaya-kun? I wasn't leading anything, after all."

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up."

"I wasn't leading anything."

"Creepy." Yuigahama finally says something.

Huh, same words.

Totsuka was interested. Wow! Hachiman seems to know his stuff! I don't remember learning anything like that. I wonder where he learned it from...

Isshiki tilted her head at Hachiman. "Senpai, what was that?"

I waved her off. "Don't worry about it." No one will ever know about my dark past!

"Well, you know… I may have thought that way once, but not anymore." Suddenly, a bunch of overhead lights shine on Hachiman. "I don't make up stupid fantasies anymore."

My face rapidly paled the second those words were spoken. "Wait wait wait no no no no!" I shouted out. Why is the screen adamant on showing my dark past?!

In the back, Haruno smirked. Another part of Hikigaya-kun's past. Ooh, this will be fun to tease him about!

So my guess was right. Hayama wondered how this fit into his past. Was it important to how he became the person he was today, or not?

Zaimokuza had a glint in his eye. "Ooh ho ho! Looks like Hachiman was once a man of culture! Now this has piqued my interest!"

Hiratsuka didn't react much, but internally she was smirking. Ah, I bet he's freaking out a lot.

Komachi already knew a lot about her brother's… old self, but that didn't keep her from sitting up. I wonder what Onii-chan hid from me!

Ebina perked up and stared at the screen. We touched on it last episode, but I'm still curious about his past.

Kawasaki was also curious, although she refused to admit it to herself. I-It's just part of the episode. There's nothing interesting to see!

Orimoto, despite having been classmates in middle school, wasn't aware of Hikigaya's "stupid fantasies." It only made sense she didn't. After all, they weren't ever friends, right?

It shows Hachiman standing in the middle of fire, before it switches to show him standing in front of a mirror. "And I've graduated from cosplaying. I'm not keeping spiritual world diaries or government reports. The only thing I still write is a list of people I'll never forgive."

"Spiritual diaries? Government reports?" Totsuka sounded confused. "What were those for?"

No! You don't need to know! Avert your eyes Totsuka! Forget this ever happened! I despaired at the possibility of him finding out about everything. Wait… what was that at the end?

Most of the audience were surprised to see that Hachiman was a chuunibyou at one point. It wasn't something they had expected out of him.

"Guess it goes to show how different our middle school selves were," mused Kawasaki.

The notebook opens to show a page on Yukinoshita. In the page, Hachiman described his grievances with the black haired girl. The dates on the top said "April 2013" and "May 2013."

I didn't think it was possible, but my face somehow got even paler. Directly to my left, I felt the presence of death itself.

"Hikigaya-kun." Yukinoshita said my name in a cold tone. Maybe if I don't respond everything will turn out ok! "Look. At. Me." Help! Someone call the police! I'm about to die! "Komachi, may you assist?"

"Eek!" Komachi paled at the look the ice queen was giving her. "S-Sorry Onii-chan, but Yuki-nee is super scary right now! Please forgive your cute younger sister!" She forcefully turned Hachiman's head towards the girl.

It felt like I was staring into the frozen pits of hell itself. That was how intimated I felt at that moment. It had been a while since I'd seen Yukinoshita this… mad? Is that even the right word anymore?

"Hikigaya-kun. You seem quite tense." Of course I am! Under that glare, anyone would be scared for their life! "All I wish to know is if you still have that… notebook."

"Nope! Definitely don't have it anymore! It's gone!" I replied with no hesitation. I actually don't know what I did with it, but hopefully it's locked somewhere so Yukinoshita can't ever find it. I got lucky in that it only showed my entries from April and May last year.

"Hmm. Are you confident?"

"Yes!"

"Then perhaps nothing too terrible will happen." With a smirk, Yukinoshita turned back to the screen. The cold presence had faded away and I let out a small sigh of relief. Then her words fully registered in my mind.

"Wait, what?!"

As the exchange was going on, Haruno watched it with a smirk on her face. You're lucky Hikigaya-kun. If you weren't Yukino-chan's "partner", let's just say I'd have to get involved. But you have her best interests in mind. Besides, she'll make you regret it anyways.

"Ehh? Yukino called senpai creepy 15 times?" Isshiki asked, reading the pages on screen. "What did he even do?"

"Ah, don't worry about it," Hiratsuka answered. "That's just how they bond."

"...Sounds about right!" Isshiki giggled, though she felt a small pain of jealousy. As usual, she ignored it. There wasn't much she could do, especially right now.

"Yukinon, run!" Yuigahama suddenly shouts out.

"Huh?" "Eh?" The audience expressed their confusion and worry. Considering the previous scene had shown off a notebook page declaring that Hachiman would never forgive Yukinoshita, hearing Yuigahama's words worried some of them more than it normally would have.

The screen shows Yukinoshita standing in front of a trembling Zaimokuza. "I think I understand. Your request is, you want us to heal this mental illness, right?"

He does his best to ignore her and instead calls out to Hachiman. "I have come here to request that you grant my wish, as per your agreement! It is the most noble of-"

"I'm the one speaking to you." Yukinoshita cuts in. "Look at people when they are speaking to you."

Even though this was the past, I still felt fear from her words. Thank goodness I was not on the other side of those words.

"While she, like, may be a bit harsh, he should be paying attention to the person speaking." Despite Miura's apparent dislike for Yukinoshita, she actually agreed with her.

"Dude, like, I couldn't imagine ignoring a girl like that!" Tobe exclaimed with his own opinion. "Though, Yukinoshita-san is acting a little forceful. And scary!" Said girl glared daggers at the brown haired guy, making him flinch back. "T-That was a j-joke! N-Nothing more!"

"Come on, let's calm down everyone," chimed Hayama, waving his arms. "Let's continue watching this, alright?"

What do you mean? There wasn't really anything going on, aside from Tobe being loud and Yukinoshita being her normal self. And frankly, Tobe probably deserves that. But sure, let's keep watching this event I already know about.

As the screen played, Orimoto couldn't help but wonder if Hikigaya acted like Zaimokuza on his own, back when he was a chuunibyou. Looking at him now, I can't even imagine it.

Zaimokuza hesitantly turns to look at the raven-haired girl. Then he starts laughing. "Well, good heavens-"

"And stop talking like that." That makes him stop laughing.

"You're awesome, Yukinon!" Yuigahama cheers her on.

"And it's still true!" Yuigahama exclaimed, hugging the raven haired girl.

"T-Thank you Yuigahama-san, but m-may you lessen your h-hugging?"

"Hmm, no!" If anything, she only hugged her even tighter.

I let out a short laugh. Seeing Yuigahama act so bubbly around Yukinoshita was always pretty amusing to see. Then I felt Komachi tap my shoulder, so I turned to face her. For some reason, she had a mischievous look on her face. Uh oh.

"Onii-chan, you should join in!" My sister attempted to push me towards my "partner," but I held strong. That caused her to pout, but I resisted the effects. Barely.

It wasn't like the idea was not appealing. If anything, hugging Yukinoshita… gah, I'm getting embarrassed from this! Best to not think about it for the time being.

"Anyway, you want us to heal your illness, right?"

"Uh, it's not really an illness…"

"But you know that you have something?" Ebina asked, asking something normal for once.

Zaimokuza turned around to face the brown haired girl and smirked. "Well, it is obvious! I am different from the other peers in the school! With my-"

"You're not being very convincing, Zaimokuza," I cruelly cut in, making him whirl his head to me in betrayal. "Look, you're the only person I'm aware of that acts like this. Maybe calling it an illness is harsh, but since you're such an oddity, it gives off the wrong idea."

The white haired Chuunibyou slumped in disappointment. "As much as I wish to refute your words, Hachiman, you may have a point." His head darted up. "But that will not stop me from this path!"

Heh, I didn't expect any less. Zaimokuza may be incredibly annoying at times, but if he lost his… flair, he certainly wouldn't be the same. Sometimes, it's a breath of fresh air with him around.

Though, I didn't really like it when he kept saying things about me being an anime protagonist. In the context of this showing, it might be true, but everything here did actually happen. Comparing myself to the trashy harem protagonists would infuriate me.

Hachiman speaks up again. "Hey, don't be so-" He stops when he steps on one of the papers flying around earlier. "Is this…" It cuts to him placing all of the papers onto the table in the room. "A manuscript for a novel?"

"Oh? A manuscript?" Hiratsuka perked up slightly, facing towards Zaimokuza. "I knew that you were interested in writing, but a whole manuscript? I'm impressed."

He beamed on the praise. "Thank you, Hiratsuka-sensei. I shall remember these words in my quest!"

Heh, I don't think Hiratsuka would say those words if she knew how bad that manuscript was. Though, I suppose she'll find out soon.

Yukinoshita finally pulled away from Yuigahama's hug to give the teacher a questioning look. "You were not aware of his request?"

"Nope. He only asked me where to find help, so I pointed him in the right direction."

I'm not too surprised about that, though I wonder if Zaimokuza could have asked Hiratsuka herself to review the manuscript. Wait, nah, she's probably way too busy doing whatever women her age do. For some reason, I felt a glare directed my way, but I pretended I didn't notice.

"Indeed. That is a manuscript for a light novel. I am thinking of submitting it to a certain newcomer contest, but as I have no friends, I cannot ask for their opinion." The camera zooms out to show the entire clubroom. "Please read it."

"Aren't there websites that deal with that sort of thing?" Kawasaki asked.

Ebina frowned. "I don't think he wants to have his self-esteem destroyed. The internet can be… ruthless." She had written her own share of… stories, so she knew the issues.

"Huh." Kawasaki was surprised she didn't say anything dirty. "But wouldn't it be easier?"

Yukinoshita rubs her forehead. "I think he just told us something really sad without a second thought."

"He's kind of like senpai in a way," Isshiki observed.

I raised an eyebrow. "Oi, what's that supposed to mean?"

"You both like to point out that you have no friends!"

Ouch. The worst part is that I can't really deny her. Actually… "That was me in the past. I'm a changed man!"

"Name one person who is your friend," Isshiki challenged with a smirk.

I opened my mouth, but paused for a second. Who did I really consider my friend? Some of them I was uncertain about our relationship, while others I merely considered acquaintances.

Except for… "Totsuka." I know he considered me a friend. It was a matter of whether I considered him a friend or not. And I mean, who wouldn't want to be friends with an angel like him?

The silver haired guy's face lit up. "T-Thanks Hachiman!"

Gah, that voice was a critical hit. I merely gave a thumbs up to him and turned back to Isshiki. She looked a little surprised that I actually gave a real response. Like I said, I'm a changed man!

"There are sites you can submit these to. Just post it there," Hachiman points out.

"I can't do that. Those people are ruthless. If they criticized it harshly, I think I would die."

Ebina nodded. "Like I said, Saki-saki."

Kawasaki understood what they meant, but she had her own doubts. Is criticism on the internet really that bad?

"The internet can be a dangerous place! So be careful!" Shiromeguri suddenly shouted out. I was a bit confused about what she was talking about. This was about criticism online, not the dangers of the internet.

"Haha, Meguri, I think we're all aware of that," pointed out Haruno.

"Well, I just wanted to make sure!" The former student council president pouted. "I don't want people to be hurt online!"

"Don't worry about it, Shiromeguri," Hiratsuka said. "I trust that everyone here knows not to be too stupid on the internet."

Hmm… somehow, I doubt Tobe's ability to be smart on the internet. He strikes me as the kind of guy to accidentally leak something. What? Am I wrong?

"You're so weak-minded. But you know… Yukinoshita would probably be way more ruthless than any site you submit it to."

Zaimokuza shivered from fear. "Hachiman, you were indeed correct."

"Oh? Now I'm even more curious," Haruno said, grinning. Seeing her younger sister in action was always amusing to see.

The screen shows the sunset in the distance, before it cuts to show Hachiman waiting at a stoplight with Zaimokuza, explaining his story while doing weird dance moves. "The foundation of this story is spatial rupture… that which they call Dimension Driver! In the end, it grants the world parliament access to the akashic records…"

As he is explaining his story, a car drives past them. Hachiman then looks down to see a dog barking at it. Suddenly, it switches to show a fancy looking car driving, an orange dog sitting on the street and a toppled over bike.

I widened my eyes. Guess that car did look somewhat similar to the limo that hit me. No wonder I thought about that incident.

Most of the audience did not understand what the sequence of images meant. But to Yuigahama and Yukinoshita, they immediately knew what that was all about. A sense of guilt filled them both, but they did not ponder on it for long before shrugging it off. They had moved past that event months ago.

"Oh…" Komachi connected the dots a moment later. Despite it not being necessary, she decided to give her brother a hug.

I was surprised, but then I smiled. "Don't worry about it, Komachi. That was long ago. I'm not concerned about it anymore."

She looked me in the eyes. "Really? Are you sure?"

I nodded. "If anything, it brought us closer in the end." After all, Yuigahama wouldn't have cared for me in the first place if that didn't happen. I hate to say that, but it's the truth. Actually, I'm not quite sure about that...

"...Well, if you say so!" Komachi pulled away, smiling. Yukinoshita and Yuigahama overheard their conversation and gave small smiles of their own.

In the rows behind them, however, they all had expressions of confusion. "What was that all about?" Miura pondered.

"Hmm, I'm not sure. Maybe we will find out?" Hayama suggested, his internal thoughts laying low.

"Yeah… I don't know either," Orimoto said with a frown. "I guess we will totally find out, right?"

"That might depend on what the screen shows," Kawasaki pointed out, having overheard their conversation. "It might not even bother with it."

"That's true. I guess we'll see." They all focused back on the screen, trying to push down their curiosity.

He blankly stares at the street while Zaimokuza calls for him. "Hachiman! Hachiman!"

"Huh? Oh. Sounds lame," he says, walking away.

"Pfft." Haruno tried to hold in her laugh. "So blunt."

That was kind of mean though. Shiromeguri said with a frown. She wasn't a fan of the bluntness, but she supposed it made Hachiman who he was.

Hayama frowned as well, but for a different reason. Hmm, it's not going to elaborate on the sequence of images? I suppose it might do that later.

"Now, hold on. Relax, Hachiman. Listen." He chases after him. "The heroine also has the hammer of the gods, Gungir Hammer! And it-"

The camera cuts to show a house at night, before going to Hachiman's room. He appears to be flipping through the manuscript from Zaimokuza, cracking his neck as he does so. It then shows Yukinoshita doing the same. Then Yuigahama is shown sitting on the couch, using her phone. She falls over laughing at something.

Zaimokuza sent a betrayed look at the pink haired girl. "You did not even read the manuscript?!"

Yuigahama jumped and started fidgeting her hands. "U-Um, I'm sorry! I was just so busy doing things and-"

"Don't worry about it, Yuigahama-san," Yukinoshita interrupted. "The manuscript was so terrible that you would have lost your remaining brain cells from reading it. You made a good decision in not reading it."

Zaimokuza clutched his chest. "Even to this day, you insult my work! You are a devil like no other!"

I felt bad for him, but Yukinoshita was right. I don't think Yuigahama would have survived reading it. However, she still should have read itt! How dare she escape her suffering?!

The sun rises on Hachiman's house, showing him waking up from his sleep. Yukinoshita is sipping something out of a mug, while Yuigahama continues to sleep. It shows that the manuscript is still in her backpack, unopened.

"She really didn't read it!" muttered Zaimokuza.

Hachiman parks his bike at the racks at school. He lets out a yawn, before he's slapped by Yuigahama's backpack.

"Morning, Hikki! Hey, you're not very energetic. What's wrong?"

"Hell, you know. After reading that thing… Actually, I want to know why you're so energetic after reading that."

"G-Gah!" Once again, Zaimokuza clutched his chest. "I-It was truly t-that bad?"

"You know my answer to that," I replied. He's already heard my criticism, why is he asking about that now?

"...Indeed, I do." The chuunibyou nodded sagely. "I shall face the pain of the criticism once again."

The rest of the audience couldn't help but feel curious about the manuscript. Kawasaki had to ask herself, "How bad was that manuscript if it made those three- er, two feel so hostile about it?"

Next to the blue haired girl, Ebina was in thought. I can't help but wonder what would happen if I had them read my stories?

...I think that might be a bad idea.

"Huh? Oh, y-you're so right! Yeah, I'm really sleepy…"

"You didn't read it, did you?" Yuigahama simply looks away, not responding.

"Hehe…" Yuigahama scratched her head. Look, just because this occurred a year ago doesn't mean I forgive you for leaving us dry! You can't just say "Hehe" and then get away with it!

The screen shows outside of the school, before cutting to the service club. Hachiman opens the door, only to see Yukinoshita sleeping. He hesitantly walks up to her.

"Thanks for your hard work." When she doesn't respond, he starts blushing as he keeps staring.

"Oh? My my, what a pervert," Yukinoshita turned to face me with a smirk. "Were you truly enraptured by my sleeping form?"

Damn it past me! What were you doing?! What am I supposed to say now? "I was probably just embarrassed by the silence. I wouldn't worry about it," I responded. Ok, maybe that'll work?

"Onii-chan, don't try to lie!" Suddenly, Komachi ruined my plan. "Admit it! You're already together anyways! In fact, Yuki-nee would take it as a compliment!"

I felt my face get hot for a moment. For one, her words were incredibly embarrassing to hear. And two: there's no way that Yukinoshita would take that as a compliment!

At least, that was what I thought before I sneaked a peek at the girl in question. To my shock, she was no longer looking at me, instead having her attention focused on the screen. And… was that a blush on her cheeks? Did she seriously want me to admit that?! My my, looks like you're the real pervert here!

I would have called her out on it, but I was still feeling a bit embarrassed from Komachi's words. So instead, I decided to keep quiet and returned my focus to the screen.

Little did Hachiman know, Yuigahama and Isshiki started pouting at him. He didn't notice any of it though. Not only that, Haruno had a light smirk on her face. Yukino-chan really wants your attention, huh? My, such a demanding "partner."

Suddenly, Yukinoshita opens her eyes and turns to her right, noticing Hachiman. She doesn't say anything for a second.

"I'm surprised." She looks away from him. "When I look at your face, my sleepiness is gone instantly." She lets out a yawn as Hachiman turns away from her with an angry expression.

"I was too close to being deceived by her looks and losing my mind there. Wish I could put this woman to sleep forever."

I paled at my past self's words. Why is the screen showing off my thoughts?! I already knew that was going to happen, but it seems oddly selective on which ones it will show. It's almost like it's trying to ruin me!

"Eep!" Totsuka let out a small noise of shock. "H-Hachiman, y-you're a l-little scary…"

See, my thoughts are just being proven right! At this rate, Totsuka will think bad of me! I don't know if I could go on with that knowledge!

"Hikigaya-kun~!" Haruno called out from the top. She was smiling, but there was a sense of danger hidden behind it. "I hope your past self was joking~!"

"Yes ma'am!" I replied with no hesitation. Haruno might be one of the scariest women I have the (mis)fortune of knowing, but I knew that she truly loved her sister. So if I was a "threat" to her safety…

Just thinking about that sent chills down my spine.

Luckily for Hachiman, Yukinoshita had not yet recovered from Komachi's words, so she remained silent. Though, his words did snap her out of her embarrassed state.

"Pfft!" Orimoto had to keep herself from laughing. H-He sounds so serious! That's hilarious!

Zaimokuza sits down on a chair. "Now then, let me hear your thoughts."

Yukinoshita went first. "I'm sorry. I don't understand this sort of thing very well."

Hayama felt confused for a moment. Hmm? From the reactions of Zaimokuza-san down there, I had expected her to be much more harsh. Was he overreacting?

"No matter. I wanted to hear the opinions of ordinary folk as well. Say whatever you please."

"Okay." A pause. "It was bad. Reading it was actually painful. It was unspeakably tedious."

Ah, never mind. Hayama let out a light chuckle.

Zaimokuza flinched heavily, but he managed to restrain himself from grabbing his chest. I must face the pain of my past!

Next to him, Totsuka gave a concerned look. "Yoshiteru, a-are you going to be ok?"

The man in question nodded. "This is merely a trial! I shall pass with flying colors!"

I rolled my eyes. He's treating this way too seriously. Apparently I wasn't the only one who thought so, as I heard someone behind me scoff. I didn't bother to turn around, but I assumed it was Miura. Zaimokuza's behavior was probably getting on her nerves.

Zaimokuza grabbed his heart like he was in severe pain and hunched over. "F-For my own reference, might I ask what part of it you found bad?"

"First of all, the grammar is a mess. Why do you keep using inverse word order? Do you know how to use particles? Did you not learn it in grade school?"

"That was harsh…" Orimoto mumbled under her breath.

Haruno giggled. "My my Yukino-chan, you're quite the critic~." Ah, this is so interesting!

Jeez, I forgot how… extensive Yukinoshita was in her "criticism." Especially against those that were not named Hikigaya Hachiman.

Zaimokuza continued to clutch his chest. "I used a simple style that would sound more familiar to readers…"

"Shouldn't you achieve a minimal mastery of Japanese before you attempt that? And there are too many improper uses of furigana. 'Chikara' is not a possible alternate reading of 'nouryoku.'" She points at something on the manuscript. "Let me ask… Where does the 'nightmare' in this 'Bloody Nightmare Slasher' come from?"

"That sounds stupid," Isshiki commented, causing Zaimokuza to flinch again. "'Bloody Nightmare Slasher' sounds like something kids would make up to scare each other."

The chuunibyou remained silent, surprising me. I would have thought that he would have said something stupid right there. My guess was that he was spending his energy in "facing the trials of his past."

The camera shows Yuigahama reading through the manuscript as Zaimokuza protests, gradually starting to fall asleep. "You got it wrong! In modern battles, the use of furigana adds a unique touch to-"

"Why does the heroine take off her clothes here? There's no need for it at all. I'm not amused."

"That's disgusting!" Miura shouted out. "What kind of pervert would write something like that in a story?!"

Zaimokuza whimpered, but he remained silent. He continued to face forwards towards the screen..

"But without elements like that…"

"Could you not force others to read a story that isn't complete? You should get some common sense before attempting to show literary talent."

The theatre was silent for a few moments. Yukinoshita's criticism, along with the various comments made by others, had shocked everyone into silence.

Zaimokuza finally grabbed his chest, but that was as far as he went. Considering how dramatic he was earlier, I was surprised that he didn't act like he lost his whole family.

"...Yukinoshita-san was really harsh…" Shiromeguri mused to herself. It somewhat surprised her to see this side of the raven-haired girl. Of course, she was used to her barbed insults from the first episode and the few times she saw her with Hikigaya. But this was a different level.

Below her, Tobe shivered from the insults. "...B-Boy, I sure am glad I don't have to deal with that!" At the start, he was jealous of Hachiman for being close with a beautiful girl like Yukinoshita. Now though, he was content with what he had.

Hiratsuka frowned. "Yukinoshita, while I understand your disgust with whatever was in that manuscript, was it necessary to be that harsh?"

"Hiratsuka-sensei, I fail to understand." Yukinoshita turned to face the teacher. "I was 'allowed to say what I pleased' by Zaimokuza-san himself. It is our duty to fulfill the wishes of our clients, is it not?"

The teacher sighed. "I suppose so. Just… don't be too harsh, alright?"

I wouldn't worry about it, Hiratsuka. Compared to when we first met, Yukinoshita is far less of an ice queen than she once was. Of course, I wasn't going to say that out loud. I feel like I would be glared at.

Zaimokuza collapses, his hands and legs on the ground as he feels defeated. This is when Hachiman finally comments.

"Don't you think that's about enough? You don't want to criticize him too much at once."

"I'm not finished yet, but all right."

Ebina shivered. Yukinoshita-san was ruthless in her criticism, and to hear that she wasn't even done? That terrified her. For sure, she will never touch my stories! I just know she'll ruin Hikigaya x Hayama for me!

Kawasaki felt the girl next to her shiver. Concerned, she glanced over to the girl. "Ebina? You okay?"

"Eh? Sakisaki is concerned about me? How wonderful!" Ebina reached to hug the blue-haired girl, but she pulled away before the glasses wearing girl could reach her. "Aw, you're still shy!"

She rolled her eyes. "Last time I'll express any concern for you," Kawasaki mumbled, not realizing that Ebina didn't answer her question.

Yukinoshita turned to the pink-haired girl, who was sleeping. "Well, I guess Yuigahama-san is next."

At the mention of her name, she snaps awake. "U-Um…" She notices Zaimokuza's form on the ground. "You know a lot of difficult kanji."

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" Miura couldn't help but ask her friend.

"Hehe, yeah," Yuigahama admitted. She turned his focus to the writer of the manuscript. "Sorry for falling asleep, Zaimokuza-san."

The man in question had flinched again at the "compliment", but he continued to stand strong. "I-It was of no consequence!"

The writer let out a groan at that, making Yuigahama panic slightly. "O-Okay, Hikki, go for it!"

Zaimokuza whimpered out. "Hachiman… You can understand me, right?"

He gave a light smile, causing the silver haired guy to give a smile back. It all seemed like he would give a positive response.

"So what was that a ripoff of, anyway?"

"Gah!" Zaimokuza cried out and clutched his chest. "A-An unexpected attack!"

Huh, I kind of forgot I said that. Honestly, that might have been more cruel than what Yukinoshita said. Maybe I am the real monster…

In the back, Haruno whistled. Huh, Hikigaya can be quite harsh too! Hehe~.

"Dude, Hikitani-kun was quite rude there!" Tobe loudly shouted. I expected him to say something else, but he never did. Maybe he finally realized how annoying he was being and decided to shut up for once!

...Nah, that's hoping for too much.

In reality, Tobe was prepared to shout again, but Hayama placed a hand on his shoulder before he could say anything. "Now, don't be too harsh with Hikitani-kun. I think he merely wanted to help out a friend." He gave his regular smile that everyone relied on.

"Oh! That makes sense!" Tobe smacked a fist into a palm. "I guess Hikitani-kun is a good guy!"

Hayama chuckled and leaned back. Truthfully, he wasn't too sure about the relationship between the two, but considering their interactions, he figured that they must have been at least good acquaintances. Thus, he didn't want Tobe to think of things that would have been wrong about Hikigaya. At least, I believe it would have been a lie.

Zaimokuza cried out in pain and started rolling on the floor. Yuigahama and Hachiman had to stand up to avoid being struck by the writer.

"You're ruthless," Yukinoshita commented. He continued to roll on the floor, until he ran into a wall. The group looked at him in concern.

"Hey…" Yuigahama looked at Hachiman with expectation. With a sigh, he walked over to Zaimokuza and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Well, what's important is the illustrations. Don't worry too much about the story." That statement caused Zaimokuza's soul to fly out of his mouth.

"Really? Is that what you truly think?" Yukinoshita ask

"Not really. It's more of what the masses think," I explained. "Otakus could care less about terrible stories. To them, it's more important if they can self-insert themselves and whether the girls surrounding the protagonist fulfill certain tropes." It's the unfortunate truth of the light novel industry. Obviously, there are numerous exceptions to the rule, but you'd have to look for them.

"Onii-chan, stop being creepy!" Komachi started lightly punching me. "You need to look good for Yuki-nee!"

"What? It's the truth. And she's the one who asked me."

"Ehh… you did sound pretty creepy senpai." Isshiki poked her head around Komachi. "Not as creepy as before, but still pretty creepy!"

Sigh. Being called creepy is nothing new. That must have been Yukinoshita and Yuigahama's favorite insult. Wait, scratch that, Yukinoshita had some really devious insults. I don't even want to utter them!

Speaking of her, why hasn't she- "I understand. Light novel writers tend to cater towards the… I believe you called it chuunibyou?"

Cutting off my thoughts now, eh? "Sort of. Not all otakus are chuunibyou, but nearly all chuunibyou are otakus. They're the type who would enjoy Zaimokuza's story."

"Hmm…" Yukinoshita seemed to be in thought. "So," she suddenly put on a smirk, "Would the middle school version of you enjoyed that?"

I opened my mouth to retort, but found I couldn't say anything. Shit, I think he would have liked that. The fact my dark past was revealed really ruins a lot of my advantages. Curse this show! I slumped into my chair and kept my eyes on the screen, doing my best to not look my partner in the eyes.

The screen cuts to the outside of the school, where Zaimokuza is leaving. "Will you read my work again sometime?"

"Ehh?! Is he a masochist?" Miura blurted out. "If I was a writer, I wouldn't, like, want them to review my stories ever again."

"Maybe he has a reason?" Hayama suggested. "Perhaps he sees their feedback as reliable?"

"Is he that masochistic?" Yuigahama asked with disgust.

"After everything we said, you still want more?" Hachiman asked curiously.

"Of course. Indeed, your criticism was harsh. But it still made me happy. Having someone read the work I wrote for pleasure and hearing their thoughts is a good thing."

"...I suppose that makes a little more sense," Miura said with a small smile. "He's still a gross pervert though," she whispered to herself.

"Aww! I'm proud of you, Yoshiteru!" Totsuka gave his signature smile to the chuunibyou, making him blush slightly.

"W-Why, it is no problem!" Zaimokuza stood up from his seat and crossed his arms. "The past version of I speaks the truth! And despite the pain from the devil, the criticism was appreciated!"

That got him a weird look from Yukinoshita, but I faintly smiled at that. Knowing me, I'm probably gonna go into a monologue soon, so there's no point in explaining my logic.

Hachiman spoke up with a small smile. "Fine. We'll read it again."

Zaimokuza smirked and gave a thumbs up. "Farewell! When I write something new, I'll bring it to you!"

"How many new manuscripts have you guys read?" Hiratsuka asked, out of curiosity.

"Er… I haven't kept track," I replied, rubbing my head. "Pretty sure it wasn't a lot though. Zaimokuza tends to take his time."

"Do not worry, Hachiman. I have kept track of them myself!" Zaimokuza exclaimed, having sat down. "It would be approximately five!"

"Yeah. That." I swore it was a little more than five, but like I said, I wasn't keeping track.

The camera panned over Hachiman's face. "Yeah. What he has isn't just a delusion of grandeur. He's got full-fledged writer's fever." It shows the silver haired guy walking away. "He wants to write because he has something to write about. If he can move someone's heart with that, all the better. That's what writer's fever is." He looks back at the group. "Zaimokuza doesn't need to change."

The silver haired writer sniffed. "H-Hachiman, I greatly appreciate the kind words! Y-You are truly the greatest partner one could ask for!" He stood up with a victorious expression.

Ugh, he's been dramatic again. I waved him off. "It's nothing. Just take what you have. Also, your chuunibyou behavior is still creepy."

"G-Gah!" He sat back down, defeated. "I s-shall take what I can…"

"Even a year later, you are still quite harsh, huh?" Yukinoshita observed neutrally.

"Oi, I'm only harsh towards those who need it. Besides, his claim of us being partners is just false. You're the only partner I need." As soon as those words left my mouth, my eyes widened and I looked away in embarrassment. Oi, what are you saying brain?! That was incredibly embarrassing to say! Especially in front of everyone!

Yukinoshita also looked away in embarrassment, her face rapidly turning red. "I-Idiot, H-Hikigaya-kun."

The interaction between the two caused Yuigahama and Isshiki to feel downtrodden. They felt like they lost another battle, although they tried to hide it. Only Haruno had noticed their expressions falling, making her lightly smirk. Should have asked him out earlier. Hehe~.

Kawasaki also felt a pang of jealousy at the scene, but shrugged it off. That was odd…

"Onii-chan, great job!" Komachi exclaimed, smiling at her brother. "Now just go a bit further!"

I gave a deadpan look at my sister, though the effect was probably reduced thanks to my red face. "Seriously?" I moved my eyes away and focused on the screen. I had a feeling we were close to the end.

Zaimokuza stops suddenly and starts making random movements with his arms, before raising them both. "Go! Barrier!" Then the screen shows an actual barrier being created.

Hachiman doesn't look amused. "Except maybe for that creepy side of his." Zaimokuza rubs his chin in satisfaction.

Heh, there's the mention of his creepy side. I expected to hear Zaimokuza complain again, but when I turned around, he had a joyous expression on his face. Eh?

"Hahahaha! I managed to create a barrier around the school! Of course, that is to be expected of someone of my caliber!" Zaimokuza stood up and started doing weird arm motions.

"Um, Zaimokuza-san, you're blocking the screen," Shiromeguri pointed out. That got him to freeze his motions, before he sat down with a sheepish expression. "Thank you!"

The camera switches scenes to a field, a few days after the previous scene. It shows Zaimokuza stretching his legs while Hachiman helps him.

"Huh, you really were gym partners," Yukinoshita, who had stopped blushing, commented.

"What, you thought I was lying or something? I'm offended!" I exaggerated the way I said that last word, but I wasn't too offended. To be honest, I'm a little surprised it's showing this. Nothing noteworthy happened here, I'm pretty sure.

Near the back, Ebina started laughing creepily. "Hehehehe, Hikitani x Zaimokuza! Hikitani x Zaimokuza! Hikitani x Zaimoku-" The glasses-wearing girl was abruptly cut off by a slap to the mouth. "Owee! Saki-Saki, you're so mean!"

"Stop being creepy! This is getting repetitive!" Kawasaki cried out with a tired expression. I'm getting sick of doing this all the time!

"My hip… my hip…" A pause. "Hachiman… What amazing artists are popular lately?"

"You're getting ahead of yourself. Think about that after you win the contest."

The two start stretching their backs. "If it sells well, you think it'll get animated and I can marry a voice actress?"

"Is he, like, seriously already thinking that far ahead?" Miura asked.

"Haha, looks like it," Hayama replied with a chuckle. "That's pretty cool that he has a long-term goal like that."

"Y-Yeah, I guess it is…" Miura nervously said, twirling a strand of her hair.

"Forget about that stuff right now. Just start by writing a manuscript, all right?"

The camera zooms out to show another silver-haired person watching the two stretch.

Oh, that's why it's showing this scene. It's introducing a very important character that will be essential to the future of this show! What, am I wrong?

"Eh? I-I'm on here a-already?" Totsuka said, his voice filled with nervousness. "A-Am I really that important?"

You're very important! Don't you dare think otherwise! I didn't say that outloud, as I feared the consequences from Yukinoshita and Komachi, but know that I fully support you Totsuka!

It turned out my words weren't needed, as Yuigahama spoke up first. "Of course you're important Saika! You're one of my friends, and Hikki sees you as a friend too!" Oh yeah, I said that earlier, didn't I?

"R-Really?" As if the angels emerged from heaven itself, he let out a big smile that blinded my eyes. "T-Thank you!"

Ok, my eyes weren't actually blinded, but it was a beautiful smile. The only things that can compare are Komachi's cuteness and… Y-Yukinoshita's cuteness. Gah, am I really stuttering in my thoughts?!

"I apologize for asking, but I am curious," Yukinoshita suddenly posed a question. "Why were you watching Hikigaya-kun and Zaimokuza-san?"

"Oh! I-I didn't mean anything about it!" Totsuka waved his hands around. "I-I just saw Hachiman playing tennis on the wall and I was impressed by his skills, so I was wondering if he would have been a good fit…"

"Ah, so that was why you asked the service club for your request?"

"Y-Yeah, I originally asked Hachiman if he could join the tennis club, but he was already in your club," Totsuka explained. "So I ended up training with you guys instead!"

Yukinoshita nodded. "It was our duty to assist you, so think nothing of it." She turned back to the screen, to see how the episode would end.

I nodded. That sounded about right. Er, wait, since he showed up now, does that mean the next episode is focused on him?

"If it sells well, you think I could have wild parties every night?"

"You're not gonna have wild parties! Get your head out of the clouds!"

As the two argue, the silver-haired person faintly smiles.

ENDING PLAYS.

"And that's the episode!" Hiratsuka stretched out her arms. "Ah, I needed that. Not a bad episode overall."

"Indeed. I believe that it was better than the first episode, in fact!" Zaimokuza declared, pointing a finger towards the ceiling.

I only rolled my eyes. "You're only saying that because you're in this episode."

"Grrk! Y-You are correct… As expected of Hachiman!" Sigh, annoying as usual. Around me, conversations started popping up, most of them focused on the episode. In the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Yuigahama start to stand up.

Attention everyone!

All conversations quickly came to a halt as nearly everyone groaned. Heh, I guess we all hate this stupid voice character.

Aww, you all don't like me? I'm so sad!

If you're going to say you're sad, at least act like it, dammit!

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed that episode! I'm just letting you know that you have a five minute break or so before the next episode begins! So have fun~!

As quickly as the voice arrived, they departed. On the screen, a countdown appeared, ticking away at the time. The conversations slowly started back up again, but I was deep in thought.

What was the point of announcing a five minute break? Last episode, we naturally started talking for that same length of time before the voice interfered. Maybe it's trying to be considerate for once? But there was also the "maintenance issue" prior to the episode starting. I find it hard to believe that a DVD player made by a god could have an issue like that. Hmm...

As I was stuck in my own thoughts, I noticed Yuigahama walking past me. I wonder where she's going.

The pink-haired girl walked up to the aisle Miura was sitting in. At the moment, she was trying to talk with Hayama, but he appeared to be busy talking with Tobe. She was about to shift her attention to Orimoto, but she noticed Yuigahama approaching them.

"Oh! Yui!" Miura waved. "What brings you here?"

"Hi Yumiko! I just wanted to talk, y'know?" She took the seat in front of Orimoto.

"Eh? What's up?"

Yuigahama opened her mouth, but then she remembered that Orimoto was there. "Umm… Yumiko, do you care if Orimoto-san listens in?"

The blonde haired girl turned to the brown haired girl, who looked sheepish and rubbed her head. "I can leave if you want. I'd understand if that's what you wanted."

"Wait," Miura turned to Yuigahama with a questioning look. "You didn't answer. What did you want to talk about?"

The pink haired girl looked hesitant. "Um… I kind of wanted to talk about earlier? We didn't really talk about that too much…"

"Oh…" Miura glanced at the girl next to her, before shrugging. "Eh, it's whatever. Anyone can listen in if they want."

"Eh?! Are you sure Yumiko?!" Yuigahama shouted out, drawing the attention of the audience to her. "Ehehe, ignore that! But, you're fine with this?"

"Why should I, like, care what others think between us?" Miura boasted. "Although… are you comfortable with her listening in?"

"Oh! Yeah, I'm totally cool with that!" Yuigahama smiled. "I was just concerned about you."

Miura smiled back. "Thanks Yui. So, like, what's left to talk about?"

"Hehe, I just felt like our talk wasn't finished, you know? It was in front of everyone and we still needed to finish that episode."

"Oh, really?" Miura put a finger to her chin. "But, like, what else did we need to say?"

"...I dunno… maybe something to tell us both that things are alright? I-I'm not sure…"

The two were silent for a moment, unsure of what to say next. In that silence, Orimoto darted her eyes between the two. This feels really private! I know they said it was fine if I listened in, but it still feels wrong!

"How about we hug it out?" Miura suggested. "Wouldn't hurt, you know?"

"Ehh? You're fine with that?" Yuigahama questioned with a tilted head.

The blonde haired girl scoffed. "Of course. We're friends, aren't we? Nothing wrong with us hugging, you know?"

"Yeah! Let's do it!" The two girls stood up and hugged each other. Though, with the difference in the row heights, it was a little awkward, as Yuigahama had to go onto her toes and Miura had to bend over. But the deed was completed.

"Ah, that feels better!" Yuigahama grinned. "Hehe, I guess I'll go back with Yukinon! Bye Yumiko!" The pink haired girl waved and half-skipped back to her seat.

"Heh, that's Yui for you." Miura smiled to herself. "I'm glad I met her." Next to the blonde haired girl, Orimoto softly smiled, though she felt somewhat jealous of their relationship. It was… real. Did any of her friendships have anything similar?

What the three girls didn't realize was that almost the whole audience had witnessed the exchange, thanks to Yuigahama's shout. The only one who hadn't listened to the whole thing was yours truly. I was too deep in my thoughts to focus on what they were saying.

I don't know why, but I was focused on finding out why the voice wanted to give us that five minute warning, when they didn't before. It's not even that big of a deal either. It's probably nothing! And yet, I couldn't help but wonder.

"Onii-chan? You have this really focused expression on your face. Are you okay?" Komachi snapped me out of my thoughts. Ah, thanks for that, my imouto!

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just wondering some things about this stupid voice god," I explained. "I can't stop thinking about it."

"Hm, what is on your mind?" Yukinoshita asked from my left. "I happen to agree that the voice god is irritating, but I am unsure what its true intentions are."

"They said it themselves, they were just bored. For a god, that's a perfectly logical reason to drag sixteen humans from their homes and force them to watch a show about our own lives," I said, giving the screen a glare as I said that. "I wasn't really thinking about that though. I was wondering why the god announced a five minute break now, when it didn't earlier."

"Eh? That seems oddly specific, Onii-chan," Komachi commented.

"Yeah yeah, I know. But like I said, I can't help but think about it." One of my 108 skills is detecting something, but it doesn't know what it is.

Before anyone could elaborate on what I said, Hiratsuka interrupted. "While I'm quite curious about what you noticed, Hikigaya, your time's almost up."

I double checked the screen and noticed only ten seconds remained on the countdown. Komachi grabbed my arm in anticipation, dragging me closer to her. I chuckled, but quickly focused my attention on the upcoming episode.

Time to see how this show will screw with me now. I hope it's not anything too terrible...

Chapter Text

Watching My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Terrible, As Expected

Episode 03

Everyone in the theater watched the screen in anticipation as the countdown approached zero. Well, everyone except me. I would prefer if this stupid voice didn't show any of this. It seemed like it really wanted to screw with me.

Wait, didn't they say that they took this from an alternate universe? Are you telling me everything that has happened was somehow copied onto a set of DVDs? Whoever did that, give back my privacy! Go stalk someone else's life!

I still can't believe this is how I found out about the multiverse theory being true…

On a serious note, watching myself feels really weird. Especially with all of the weird anime effects being applied. It just feels wrong.

I just hope this doesn't show too much. I have too many dark secrets that would embarrass me if they ever got revealed. Though, considering the trend of things so far, that might be asking for too much…

I drifted my attention to Komachi, who remained latched onto me. Ah, so cute! You earned some Komachi points for that one! I'm sort of curious why she's seeking my presence right now, but maybe she's just worried for me?

I ran out of time to think as the screen finally began to display the next episode.

The screen opens up to a blue sky, before panning down to reveal Sobu's tennis courts.

"Ok everyone, pair up!"

It cuts to a close up of Hachiman's eyes before it zooms out to show everyone walking away from him.

…Ouch, what a start.

"Hm? I thought you said you were gym partners with Zaimokuza-san?" Yukinoshita turned to face me.

"Only when it was absolutely necessary. I generally tried to avoid it if possible," I explained. I do feel a bit bad for him though, since he was a loner like me and had a hard time finding partners. Oh well. Not like I can do anything about it now.

"Eh? Then what did you do during PE, Onii-chan?" Komachi asked, still holding onto my arm. She looked at me with a pout. "You better not have been skipping!"

Ah, that's a cute face you got there. "Don't worry, I wasn't skipping. I'm not that bad of a student." I also feared what Hiratsuka would do to me if I dared to skip any class.

He goes to talk to the teacher. "I'm not feeling very well. Can I just hit off the wall? I'll just cause trouble for everyone."

"So that's what you did…" Komachi trailed off with a frown.

"Oh yeah! I remember seeing Hikitani-kun by that one wall!" Tobe exclaimed. "Though, he doesn't seem that sick to me…"

Hayama chuckled. "Perhaps we'll see what he meant by sick?" Considering how the first two episodes had a monologue about something, he was half-expecting there to be another one coming up.

It shows the other students hitting tennis balls while Hachiman walks in the background. The camera cuts to a view of a wall with some shoes shown, before it shows Hachiman with a dark background.

"Too perfect. This is the countermeasure to pairing up that I have mastered after long years spent alone."

"A countermeasure?" Orimoto giggled. "He makes it sound so serious! Haha!"

Miura chuckled to herself. "Hikio is, like, saying stupid things again."

Orimoto continued to giggle. I didn't expect his thoughts to be this funny! I'm excited to see more!

Hachiman throws up a ball and hits it with his tennis racket. The ball bounces off the wall and returns to him. "The double whammy of 'I'm not feeling well' plus 'I'll just cause trouble.' They produce a synergistic effect and subtly show that I am, at least, willing to participate. Maybe I'll teach it to Zaimokuza some day."

Kawasaki frowned. It's not like I enjoy partnering up with anyone either, but I feel like Hikigaya is going a bit overboard.

"Hehehe!" Haruno giggled to herself. "Hikigaya-kun is quite lazy!"

"R-Really, Haru-san?" Shiromeguri disagreed. "I don't think he's that lazy! Though, I did wish he would put that energy towards his schoolwork."

"Oh? Hmm, I suppose thinking of that does take some work…" Haruno pretended to consider the thought.

"Ohh! So he was pretending to be sick!" Tobe realized. "That's pretty smart!"

"Haha, I can see how it would be handy," Hayama said, chuckling.

Back in the front row, I was being bullied. "Senpai!" Isshiki exclaimed, leaning over in her chair. "That was pretty creepy!"

I deadpanned at her. "Are you going to call everything I say creepy?" Sometimes, it feels like that's the only insult any of these people know.

"Yup!" She replied with no shame. Damn you…

"Hachiman! I would greatly appreciate your skill in evading the terrors of physical education!" Zaimokuza shouted, having stood up. He bowed deeply towards me. "Please teach me!"

Ugh, it's just one after another. I turned around, still deadpanning. "I just explained it now. I don't think you need my help in that," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Thank you Hachiman! I will remember these teachings!" The chuunibyou sat back down. Ugh, how overdramatic can someone be?

"That shot was crazy man!" Those words cut into Hachiman's monologue and the background returned to normal.

"You're exaggerating." The camera reveals Hayama playing tennis with someone off-screen. "It just happened to slice somehow. Sorry."

"Ehh? What are you apologizing for, Hayato?" Miura questioned the blonde guy next to her.

Hayama chuckled and rubbed his head. "I didn't intend to slice the ball there, so I felt a little bad."

Miura shook her head. "This is tennis! You don't apologize for beating your opponent with a move like that!"

"Y-Yeah!" Totsuka couldn't help but pipe in. "You shouldn't need to apologize like that, Hayama-san!"

"Maybe you guys are right," Hayama said with a nod.

I felt my eyebrow twitch. He somehow managed to accidentally slice the ball? Of course Hayama would somehow manage that.

"That was totally a magic-shot! You're awesome, Hayato-kun!" It shows that Tobe was the speaker. "Now I'm gonna have to nail one, too!" He throws a tennis ball up into the air and smacks it with his racket. "Here we go! Magic slice!"

The tennis ball goes way over their heads and goes directly for Hachiman. In fear, he protects his head with his racket, but the ball lands off to his left. He looks back at it awkwardly.

"Eheheh… Sorry Hikitani-kun!" Tobe shouted out.

"It's whatever." I didn't really care. It didn't actually hit me in the head, so it wasn't like I got hurt from it. Also, it was a year ago at this point.

That wasn't the end of it, however. "How does one mess up their serve that badly?" Yukinoshita asked, just loud enough for Tobe to overhear.

"Yukinon! That's rude!" Yuigahama chastised her. "Not everyone is good at tennis like you!"

"Hmm. If you insist." To my surprise, Yukinoshita backed off. That's awfully considerate of her. I'm curious why that is? Though, she has lowered the amount of insults recently, so maybe she's working on that?

"My bad!" Tobe calls out. "Uh… Hikitani-kun? Could you get that?"

"Who the hell is Hikitani-kun?" Hachiman thinks as he throws the ball back.

Hayama catches it and waves back at him. "Thanks, Hikitani-kun."

"Huh, I guess I never really thought about it until now, but why do you guys call him Hikitani-kun?" Hiratsuka asked, turning around to face the clique sitting behind her.

"Yeah, I'm actually a bit curious myself…" Kawasaki mumbled to herself.

Tobe was the first to speak. "Eh? Isn't that his name?"

For a moment, it felt like the entire theater stared at the brown haired guy in a mix of shock and disappointment. Ouch, I actually feel bad for him. I sort of suspected he thought it was Hikitani, but to see him outright admit it was still surprising.

"Haha, please don't be too harsh on him," Hayama attempted to calm down the others. "Hikitani-kun is merely my nickname for him."

"Hehe, same here!" Ebina chimed in. "Though, maybe Hikigaya x Hayama flows a bit better…"

Hiratsuka seemed to be in thought. "Well, I suppose I can see why Tobe messed up. Hikitani is an alternate reading of Hikigaya, so I understand the confusion. Though, it has been a year."

"Sorry Hikitan- er, Hikigaya-kun!" Tobe shouted to me. "I'll try to be more mindful of your name!"

Huh, Tobe is quite thoughtful after all. But… "Eh, it's whatever. It annoys me greatly, but I'm used to you calling me by… that. I really don't care if you continue with what you've been doing." Wait, what am I saying?!

"Really?! Thanks, Hikitani-kun!" Ugh, I already regret this. And I only have myself to blame for this. Well, at least he finally knows my actual name. Even though it's been over a year since we first met!

Hachiman gives a nod and turns to look down at his racket with a frustrated expression. "Why did I nod at him? Looks like I've instinctively determined Hayama to rank above me. Pretty subservient, even for me."

""Sub…serve…ent?" Yuigahama tried to pronounce the word. "What does that mean?"

Next to her, Yukinoshita sighed. "Yuigahama-san, I recommend you expand your vocabulary when we return."

"But Yukinon! It's not my fault Hikki keeps using all of these long words!"

"Even so, in order to prevent any further confusion regarding Hikigaya-kun's vocabulary, I would advise doing so."

The pink haired girl pouted before focusing back on the screen. I idly observed that her question was never actually answered.

He raises the tennis ball and starts hitting against the wall again. "I slammed my impending depression against the wall." As the ball hits the ground, it strikes another tennis ball and somehow launches it into Hachiman's face, making him fall to the ground. "Walls are an unavoidable part of youth."

"Pfft!" Komachi tried to keep in her laughter, but I overheard her. Laughing at my failures, Komachi? Negative points! You made your onii-chan very disappointed!

Unlike Komachi, Isshiki just blatantly laughed at me. "Haha! Watching senpai do dumb things is very entertaining!"

"Oi!" I wanted to say that she didn't come here just to see me do that sort of thing, but I stopped myself. While I could make reasonable guesses on why a god would bring all of us here, I never actually got confirmation. Maybe they really wanted to see everyone laugh at my failures…

In the back row, Orimoto covered her mouth to hide her laugh. Haha! How does that even happen?! And that last sentence was just so funny!

Next to her, Miura lightly giggled. "Hah, Hikio can be funny once in a while."

OPENING PLAYS

Like the previous episode, much of the audience went into their own worlds as the opening played. Most of them just started to talk amongst themselves, but I was somewhat curious about Zaimokuza. He appeared to be analyzing the opening again, which seemed like a useless endeavor to me. Then again, he struck me as the kind of guy to do that.

"H-Hachiman!" Eh? Is that Totsuka's voice that I hear? I moved my attention to the silver haired angel. "Are you excited for this episode?"

"...Er, sort of?" I hesitated to think of what to say. "I already experienced all of this, so it's not like I'm that excited to see it all again." Not to mention how it's pretty intent on revealing my embarrassing thoughts and past.

"Oh, that makes sense!" Totsuka beamed. "I wonder if I'll show up here…"

Don't worry Totsuka! If you don't, I'll be sure to sue the creators of whoever made this and force you to show up! Unless you don't want that, of course…

Well, considering how the intro focused on tennis and the fact Totsuka appeared at the end of the last episode, I'd be surprised if he didn't show up. That's generally how foreshadowing works in anime.

Ah, I'll get to see the first time I met Totsuka again. I bet it'll be… awesome…

…

Wait a minute. I paled as I remembered a very important detail.

The screen tended to show some incredibly embarrassing things, including my past and my thoughts. Though, most of those thoughts weren't too impactful in the long run. None of them really affected anything about how I treat others or how they treat me.

Was that going to last?

The answer is NO WAY! Crap! If they hear my thoughts about Totsuka, I'm done for! It'll be over for me! Not only will Totsuka's impression of me be utterly shattered, but the others will question my sexuality! I'll be seen as incredibly weird by everyone! Plus, who knows what Yukinoshita will do?!

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Totsuka was facing Hachiman when he made his realization, so he noticed how the color drained out of his face. Huh? D-Did I do something?

"Eh? Onii-chan?" Komachi noticed how pale her brother's face was. "You okay?"

I slowly turned to face my little sister. She looked very concerned. Shit, did I really look that bad? I took deep breaths, gradually feeling the blood returning to my face. Within a few seconds, I schooled my expression back to normal. "Sorry about that. I just remembered something that this stupid screen will probably show."

In the past, I probably would have just said "I'm fine" or "It's nothing," but things are different now. At least, that's what I think.

Komachi's expression suddenly became mischievous. "Oh? What did Onii-chan doooo~?"

I tried my best to keep my face as neutral as possible. "I'd rather not say, but I suspect you'll find out soon. So you'll just have to wait," I said with a sigh. This wasn't gonna go well.

Hiratsuka and Yukinoshita briefly overheard their conversation, but they remained silent. They knew that Hachiman wouldn't say anything at the moment. So they stared at the screen as the opening came to a close.

The screen opens to show Hachiman eating his lunch on a set of stairs outdoors.

"I feel at peace when I eat lunch in my best place." As he monologues, two girls run by behind him. The camera moves to show his ahoge moving in the wind. "Being situated near the coast, the winds change around noon at this school."

It switches to show a view of the tennis courts. "The sea breeze that blows in during the morning blows from the inland, as if going back to where it came from. I can't say I dislike this hour."

"Huh? That's a thing?" Miura questioned out loud.

"Ah, but of course!" Zaimokuza nodded in approval. "Hachiman's power allows him to sense these sorts of things!"

What? My power? Don't tell me he knows about my 108 skills?!

Miura scowled. "I wasn't asking you." Ooh… that had to hurt. I could just feel Zaimokuza flinching from that.

"Oh, it's you, Hikki!" Hachiman turns around to notice Yuigahama standing behind him. "What are you doing out here?"

"I always eat lunch here."

"Oh, so that's why I rarely see you in the classroom!" Totsuka exclaimed.

"Y-Yeah…" I stuttered. Shit, I can't help but think what will happen when Totsuka sees my thoughts. This isn't good for me…

"Eh? Hikki?" Yuigahama noticed something was up. "Are you sick?"

I shook my head, but didn't bother to say another word. In my silence, Komachi spoke up instead.

"Onii-chan's worried about something that this screen will show!"

Ack! Don't just say that out loud!

"Hm? I cannot think of anything particularly worrying," Yukinoshita piped in, despite having already overheard the conversation between the two. "Perhaps it's something that concerns him and only him?"

You have no idea, Yukinoshita…

"Really? Why? Can't you eat in the classroom?"

"Get a clue," Hachiman angrily thinks for a second.

"Hikki! That's rude!" Yuigahama shouted with a pout.

I was tempted to retort, but decided against it. "My bad," I said instead. She wasn't exactly wrong. Though, in my defense, she should've known why I wouldn't eat in the classroom, considering what happened in the last episode.

"What are you doing out here, anyway?"

"Oh, that! Well, see, I lost in a game with Yukinon, so this is like my punishment." As she says all of this, she takes a seat next to Hachiman.

"I do apologize for that, Yuigahama-san," Yukinoshita says. "It was not my intention to have you speak with Hikigerma-kun."

"Hehe, it's fine Yukinon!" The pink haired girl replied with a smile. "Besides, it helped me introduce Hikki and Saika to each other!"

"Yeah!" Totsuka nodded.

In the back, Shiromeguri was confused. "The punishment was talking to Hikigaya-kun? No wait, Yukinoshita-san didn't say it was her intention to do that…"

Haruno giggled. "She probably just had to buy drinks or something and got caught up with Hikigaya-kun."

"Ooh! That makes sense!"

"Talking to me is a punishment?"

"N-no, no!" Yuigahama waves her hands. "The loser just has to buy drinks."

"Oh, thank goodness. I thought I was going to die."

"Oh yeah, I've done that before," Orimoto commented. She usually found them fun, even if she happened to be on the losing side.

"Mhm, same here," Miura nodded. Though, whenever they played, their punishments were a bit more… extreme.

"Don't worry, Onii-chan! I'll never think talking to you is a punishment!" Komachi supportingly said. Ah, that certainly earned you some points! I rubbed her hair as a reward, though that just caused her to blush. "H-Hey!"

"What, I can't give my imouto a hair rub?"

"You're being unfair…" she mumbled. I chuckled at her lack of retort, before focusing back on the screen.

"At first, Yukinon said, 'I can obtain my own sustenance. Where is the joy in fulfilling such a meager desire for conquest?' to try to get out of it," Yuigahama said, mimicking the raven haired girl's voice.

"..." Yukinoshita wanted to protest, but she couldn't deny that it sounded just like her. "Impressive."

Yuigahama giggled. "Hehe, thanks Yukinon!"

Hachiman nodded. "Well, that sounds like her."

"Yeah, but when I said I wasn't too confident, she agreed."

"That sounds like her."

Yuigahama looks up into the sky. "I've done this with my friends before, but this is the first time I thought this punishment was fun."

"Eh?" Miura sounded surprised. "Were the punishments really that bad?" she asked her clique concernedly.

Yuigahama wasn't able to hear her, but the rest of the clique did. "I didn't really have any problems with them," Hayama commented.

"Those punishments were scary!" Tobe shouted with a tremble.

"They didn't involve any Hayato ships," Ebina commented with a frown. "If only we had that…"

I heard the last sentence and shivered. I need to make sure Ebina never decides anything that involves me and Hayama in the same vicinity. I barely got away with the cultural festival play.

Miura scoffed. "I think Kakeru is just scared. And Hina, there's no way we'd, like, do that!"

Tobe slumped into his seat. "Yumiko is mean…" he mumbled to himself.

"Your friends? You sound so in-group."

"That was mean. You don't like that stuff?"

"Of course. I hate in-groups and in-jokes," Hachiman explains, before looking up with a smile. "Oh, but I like in-fighting. Because I'm not part of the 'in.'"

That earned me several glares from all directions, along with laughing from Haruno. I really had no filter back then, huh?

Well, I guess you could say that was part of my charm!

…That sounded stupid.

"I'm not that surprised you would say something like that," Hiratsuka commented with a frown, before smirking. "I bet you think otherwise now, huh?"

I shrugged. Sure, I treasure my connections with the people close to me, but it didn't suddenly mean that I changed what I thought about outside groups. That's asking too much about me.

Besides, I get a twisted sense of satisfaction whenever a shallow group gets into a fight. It finally exposes them to the truth in front of them and destroys the facades they held up. I probably sound like some sort of villain, but it's simply what I think.

He takes a sip of his juice while Yuigahama looks at him with a disgusted expression, before she looks away. "But when you're talking with Yukinon, you two are like an in-group too. I sometimes think there's no place for me in the conversation."

"O-Oh, is that so?" Yukinoshita turned to the girl next to her. "I-"

"Nono, it's alright!" Yuigahama interrupted the raven haired girl. "Besides, I bet Hikki thinks the same about us."

Do I? I mean… yeah, actually, sometimes it felt like the two girls were off in their own world. Though, it hasn't happened in a while. Maybe it's proof that the three of us really have gotten closer?

Yukinoshita glanced at the fish eyed teen. "Maybe you're right. But that doesn't excuse it."

"Eh, I wouldn't worry about it," I piped up. "It's not really an issue these days." Like I said, the feeling of being left out hasn't happened in a while. "I'm just surprised that Yuigahama noticed that you two sort of had a thing going."

"Hikki! That's mean!" Yuigahama pouted. "Don't act like I'm insensitive!"

I deadpanned at her. "Really?"

She blinked, then a small blush creeped up on her face. "M-Maybe I don't notice things sometimes… but it's not like I'm completely stupid!"

That was true. For an airhead like her, she was surprisingly perceptive at social matters. "Yeah, that's true."

Yuigahama seemed to be expecting me to say something else, but that was it. Then, she smiled. "Huh, thanks Hikki."

I nodded, then turned back to the screen. I learned long ago that she was no ordinary "nice girl" or whatever. Ugh, I'm reminded of my former dislike of them. I've learned there's a difference between being "nice" and being… how do I say it… genuinely nice. Not all "nice girls" are actually fake like that.

Off to my side, Yukinoshita seemed a bit surprised at how quickly we stopped arguing. "I am surprised I did not have to interfere." She chuckled. Hikigaya-kun has truly improved after all. I suppose I should have noticed earlier.

"Yukinoshita is different. That's a force of nature."

"Especially since," I felt the raven haired girl glare at me, "someone was using crude words to describe me." What the hell?! I thought she seemed to be in a good mood just a second ago!

I sweatdropped and tried my best to remain focused on the screen. Thankfully, Yuigahama saved me from any more damage. "Yukinon, I don't think that's exactly a bad thing…"

Yukinoshita stopped glaring and turned to Yuigahama. "Are you sure?"

"I mean, it's supposed to mean that people can't really do anything about you." Yuigahama sheepishly shrugged her head. "But I think it means that you're independent and you won't take mean words lying down."

Yukinoshita considered her words for a moment. "...I see. I understand what you mean." She turned to face me again. "Whether that's how Hikigaya-kun intended those words to be taken, I suppose we won't find out."

Phew. Thanks for calming her down, Yuigahama. I don't know how far Yukinoshita would have gone with her rage. Though, I have a feeling if anything did happen, it would have been pretty minimal.

"What does that mean?" Yuigahama looks at him with a curious expression.

"It means something that people can't do anything about. Sorry for using such a difficult term."

Yuigahama flinches back with a blush. "That's not it! I know what the phrase means! Quit making fun of me!" She lightly starts hitting Hachiman on the shoulder. "I took the entrance exam to get into Soubu High too, you know!"

"I dunno, sometimes I forget about that," Isshiki commented.

"Iroha!" The pink haired girl shouted with a pout. "Don't be mean like Hikki!"

"Oopsie~." Isshiki pretended to look apologetic. "It's understandable though, you knowwww?"

Ouch. Our kouhai is quite rude, huh?

"Now now, don't be that harsh on Yuigahama," Hiratsuka cut in from above. "She might struggle with some concepts, but she has a bright mind. If she could study them properly, I'm sure that she'd be a formidable opponent to Hikigaya and Yukinoshita."

A Yuigahama on the same level as us? I shuddered at the idea. I don't know what I'd do if I had another version of Yukinoshita spouting out facts. Great, the idea is stuck in my head now. I can just imagine it already. Thanks Hiratsuka-sensei…

"Thanks sensei!" Yuigahama exclaimed. "I'll try my best to live up to your expectations!"

Yuigahama slaps him on the back of his head.

"Ow!" Hachiman bends over and rubs the spot.

"Oopsie, sorry about that!" Yuigahama apologized.

"It's nothing," I waved her off. Not sure why she's apologizing for that, but I'll take it.

Yuigahama faintly smiles, before her expression becomes serious. "Hey, speaking of entrance exams, Hikki… Do you remember the day of our entrance ceremony?"

Most of the audience were confused by the question. However, the three people involved felt a sudden sense of dread. Yukinoshita felt it the most. Hachiman and Yuigahama vaguely recalled the conversation, so they knew that the topic didn't come up then.

"Why did Yui bring up our entrance ceremony?" Miura couldn't help but ask. "That was pretty boring, wasn't it?"

"Yeah! I can barely even remember that myself," Tobe piped up. "I'm sure if something happened, I would have remembered!"

"Maybe Yui did something on that day?" Hayama suggested. I noticed she said "the day of the entrance ceremony", not the ceremony itself. Is that where she met Hikigaya?

"Actually, I was in an accident that day."

"Ehh?! You were?!" Totsuka exclaimed. "Oh! U-Um, sorry for being so loud."

"It's alright." Totsuka, I greatly appreciate your concern for me, and I would normally be jumping for joy. However, you might soon take it back. Nono, he wouldn't do that. But he might be creeped out by what's coming up. And I don't know if I'm ready for that.

Near the back, Kawasaki widened her eyes. "Hikigaya was in an accident?" she mumbled to herself. He never mentioned anything like that!

…Why would he tell me though? We're not exactly friends. Quickly, she realized that he likely would not have told her.

Next to her, Ebina glanced at Kawasaki curiously. While the mention of Hikigaya being in an accident was definitely surprising to hear, Kawasaki seemed a bit taken aback. Hoho, I wonder what that's about?

For just a moment, Hayama's eyes widened. An accident? Does that have to do with the limo from the last episode?

"A-An accident? Was it…"

"Hey!" Before anyone else could say anything, a silver haired person starts walking over to the two.

Hayama felt a pain of disappointment of the "accident" not being elaborated. I guess we'll have to wait some more.

"Oh!" Totsuka's concern about the accident quickly vanished. "It's me!"

"Finally, someone on the level of Hachiman and I!" Zaimokuza exclaimed blousterly. "It is excellent to see that you have finally made your debut, friend!"

Did he just imply that everyone was beneath the three of us? And that we were comparable to Totsuka? Even I was never that arrogant…

"Oh, it's Sai-chan!" Yuigahama stands up and waves. "Yahallo!"

"Yo…" Totsuka rubs his face with a towel. "What are you doing here, Yuigahama-san and Hikigaya-kun?"

"Nothing special. Are you practicing?" Totsuka nods. "You have your club, you practice during lunch, and you also chose tennis as your PE activity, right? Must be hard on you!"

"Nah. I do it because I like it. Anyways, Hikigaya-kun, you're pretty good at tennis."

"Huh? Didn't he practice by himself at that wall?" Shiromeguri asked. "How would he know that he was good at tennis?"

Totsuka blushed. "I-I might have seen h-him hitting a few times…"

Jeez. You're gonna make me blush Totsuka. Thankfully, I managed to keep it off my face.

"Ooh? And why's that?" "Tell me more!" Haruno and Ebina asked/said at the same time.

"Ah! I just… it's kind of easy to notice when someone is off the court, y-you know?"

"Oh, that makes sense!" Shiromeguri exclaimed with a nod. "I'd been down at the courts before, so I get what you mean."

"Aw…" Ebina pouted. "I thought it was going to be a story of love!"

I shivered. All he did was comment on my tennis skills and she's already acting like that? I'm going to be so screwed soon…

Hachiman seems surprised for a moment. Yuigahama crouches down next to him. "He is?"

"Yeah," Totsuka starts to explain. "He has really nice form."

"Aww, you're embarrassing me." Hachiman rubs his head in embarrassment. "So, who are you?"

"What?!" Yuigahama shouts in a shocked tone. "This is your classmate! I can't believe you!"

"In my defense," I began before anyone else could pile on me. "I didn't really care who anyone in my class was."

"Onii-chan, that's even worse!" Komachi said disappointedly. "You need to remember your classmates!"

"Do you remember all of your classmates?" I shot back, before I realized that was a bad idea. "Wait, actually, you probably do. Never mind."

"Hehe, you know your sister too well!"

Totsuka places a hand on his cheek and introduces himself. "I'm Totsuka Saika, from your class." The background behind him becomes filled with flowers.

Immediately, Komachi and Yukinoshita narrowed their eyes. "Hey… no offense to Saika-chan, but why's the background all lovey dovey?" my sister asked suspiciously.

"Who knows?" I cryptically said. Well, I tried to at least. My face was already starting to pale though, so I'm not sure if it was able to trick them.

Those two weren't the only ones to get suspicious. Ebina, who wasn't really expecting much, quickly narrowed in on those details. Ohohohoho… now I'm excited!

Hachiman looks away. "Oh, I don't really get involved with girls much, so…" "Actually, I don't really get involved with guys, either."

Isshiki giggled. "That's just depressing to hear, senpai."

"I'm… a boy," Totsuka corrects. A shocked expression fills Hachiman's face and his eyes start to twitch.

"Ha! Imagine thinking that he was a girl!" Miura barked out.

"I mean… I thought he was a girl at first," Tobe commented. "I'm not surprised Hikitani-kun thought so too!"

"Wait, huh? That's a guy?" Orimoto asked, before laughing. "I was totally fooled!"

Hayama chuckled with her. "I admit that I was initially thrown off too. But Yumiko, didn't you also think he was a girl at first?"

The girl in question blushed in embarrassment. "S-Shut up!"

I wasn't surprised to see that the others thought the same at first. But in reality, Totsuka transcends the boundaries of gender- Ok. Hachiman, stop.

I leaned back into my seat and sighed. I knew that my thoughts were going to screw me over really soon. And, admittedly, now that I'm d-dat- partners with Yukinoshita, having these strange thoughts about Totsuka feels wrong. I wasn't lying earlier when I truly thought of him as a friend.

Now that I have to confront the reality of everyone finding out, it's made me reflect on my thoughts. And ultimately, I've realized that I placed Totsuka on a pedestal. Damn it. I don't think it's as bad as it once was, but it's certainly still there. At this point, the only thing I can do is accept it and try to change things. After all, unless my memory is failing me, I don't think I ever really "hung out" with Totsuka. Maybe once we get out of this stupid theatre, we can hang out more?

…Yeah, that's a good idea. I quickly smiled to myself before schooling my expression back to normal and focusing on the screen again. All that's left for me to do is wait for the moment where everything goes to shit.

As I was in my thoughts, Komachi glanced at me with suspicion. She didn't say a word though.

The scene moves to the tennis courts, before it shows Hachiman by the wall. He wipes his forehead with his sleeve. As he does so, someone taps his shoulder. Hachiman looks startled and tries to look back, but a finger pokes his cheek.

"Gotcha," Totsuka says, the background turning to show hearts.

Totsuka squirmed in place. "U-Um, why is t-the screen showing t-that?"

"Allow me to explain!" Zaimokuza exclaimed, pointing a finger towards the ceiling. "In a typical rom-com, these kinds of effects are used to indicate someone's opinion of the target. Or in this case, Hachiman and you!"

"Eh?!" Totsuka yelped. "W-What?!"

"Wait, something sounds off with that." Zaimokuza retracted his finger and crossed his arms. "I have never seen any indication of Hachiman having that sort of attraction with you. Not to mention, he has a girlfriend."

"Whoa, what is this feeling? If he weren't a guy, I almost would've confessed and gotten rejected there. Wait, I'd get rejected?!" Hachiman monologues.

Well, here we go. Hoo boy.

"...Ah, it makes sense now!" Zaimokuza exclaimed. "Saika's mannerisms are confusing Hachiman! It is understandable, after all."

I felt my eyebrow tick. What the hell is he saying?

"Quit your drivel," Yukinoshita said with a cold tone. "I had assumed you were finally done being stupid, but it appears I was wrong."

Whoa whoa, that's a bit too far! I wasn't planning on interfering, but I felt someone tap my right shoulder. I turned to see Komachi staring at me with a disappointed expression.

"Onii-chan…"

"Uh, you okay Komachi?" That wasn't the reaction I expected from my sister.

"I knew I needed to be concerned about your relationship with Saika!" she shouted out, startling me. Her shout was loud enough to attract the attention of the others nearby.

"Eh? What's that supposed to mean?"

Komachi opened her mouth, but then she noticed that much of the theater was listening in. Her face went pink. "U-Um… I'll tell you later," she stammered out.

I raised an eyebrow at her behavior, but figured that she wanted to tell me in private. Having fourteen other people listening in was intimidating after all. "Alright. Works for me." I turned back to the screen, Komachi's words stuck in my mind. What did she mean by that?

As this all occurred, Hiratsuka raised an eyebrow at her student's thoughts. She knew that the two seemed like good friends, but seeing this made her wonder if there was something else at play. Quickly though, she shook her head. Nah. He's too into Yukinoshita to do something like that. Plus, he's not the type of guy to do that kind of thing.

After his monologue, he asked out loud, "What is it?"

"Well, the kid I usually pair up with isn't here today, so…" The camera zooms into Totsuka's face, which is full of sparkles. "If you don't mind, would you play with me?"

Ok, seriously, can you blame me for thinking the way I did when Totsuka makes that kind of expression?

"This is u-uncomfortable to watch…" Totsuka stammered out. The weird effects that surrounded him on the screen combined with Hachiman's odd monologue suddenly made him not want to watch this anymore.

"I kind of agree…" Yuigahama nodded. "Hikki is being weird!"

I wanted to retort against that, but I couldn't. Either I would say something incredibly embarrassing, or I'd say a blatant lie. The former would be terrible for my sanity, and the latter would be useless, considering that the screen was just going to show my thoughts. So I opted for the third choice: silence.

"Come on, don't look up at me like that. You're too cute, so stop blushing." Hachiman has a faint blush on his own face and averts his gaze. "Yeah, sure. I don't have a partner, either."

I slouched over in my seat and dropped my face into my hands. "I swear this god is trying to embarass me as much as possible," I mumbled.

"Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe." Ebina let out a disturbingly long giggle. "It appears I've been shipping the wrong people this whole time! Oh hohoho…"

Kawasaki shivered. Hikigaya, you've woken up a beast. She was half tempted to switch seats, but decided against it. Someone had to at least restrain her, in case she got too excessive with her fantasies.

Next to Hachiman, Yukinoshita stared at her partner with a mix of emotions. "You're quite enraptured by Totsuka-kun," she stated neutrally.

"It was a spur of the moment thing…" I weakly retorted, still slouched over. Damn it, why did I say that? I should have stayed silent like I did just a second ago.

Yukinoshita stared at him for a few more seconds, before turning back to focus on the screen. Strangely, she was actually feeling slightly jealous. Hikigaya-kun only just met Totsuka-kun, but he's already acting this embarrassed. She glanced at the silver haired guy out of the corner of her eye. It's a good thing he's a guy. I have no grievances with Totsuka-kun, but his ability to reduce Hikigaya-kun to this is… frightening. If he was a girl, I truly would have had no chance.

At Hachiman's monologue, Haruno nearly burst out laughing. Ha ha! He doesn't even swing that way and he's treating that guy like something else! I bet Yukino-chan is jealous she didn't make him act like that so easily!

The two sit on a bench, with Hachiman sighing. "You really are good, Hikigaya-kun," Totsuka comments as he sits down.

"Too close, too close, too close!" Hachiman panickedly thinks, keeping his expression calm on the outside.

"U-Um… sorry Hachiman…" Totsuka apologized with a bow. I turned around at the sudden apology in surprise.

Ah, even though you're probably incredibly uncomfortable right now, you still have the grace to apologize about something that wasn't even a big deal. No wonder why it's so easy to think of you as an angel. Well, remember Hachiman, no more idolizing Totsuka like that.

"It really wasn't a big deal," I said, rubbing the back of my head. I would have stopped there, but I realized this was the perfect opportunity to fix everything before it went any further. I sighed, before I spoke again. "And, uh, I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable with my thoughts. You were unlike anyone else I'd met before, so… I sort of latched onto that."

"Oh… really?" Totsuka looked at me in surprise. "I-I never knew…"

And you never would have known if this stupid god didn't force everyone to see my thoughts. But, well, this is simply what I have to deal with now.

"Yeah, so, just a warning that there might be more of those," I added. "Just letting you know." I felt like I had to say that, otherwise I'd face a scary conversation later. Not from Totsuka, but from the others in this theater.

"O-Okay." Totsuka wasn't quite sure what to think now. But he did remember that, even if Hachiman had some… strange thoughts about him, he never showed it. He didn't let his thoughts influence his actions around him. Their relationship was that of friends, and he kept it that way. The silver haired guy turned to face the screen again with a soft smile. He kept his friend's words in mind, but he was glad that Hachiman had told him in the first place.

Of course, I didn't know that. All I saw was Totsuka looking at the screen with his iconic smile. I had to quickly turn away, before I lost myself in that expression. My eyes instead landed on Yukinoshita, who was looking at me with disappointment. Oh no, what did I do?

"Moments ago, did you not tell me that your questionable thoughts were a 'spur of the moment' thing?"

I knew I should have stayed quiet!

"Look, this is something only Totsuka can judge me for," I replied, completely sidestepping her accusation. "I explained myself already, so I have nothing more to say." With those final words, I looked back at the screen. I was not in the mood for dealing with this.

Yukinoshita was surprised at the short response from Hachiman. She glared at him for another second, before she faced the screen again. She knew there was no getting him to speak at that moment. But they had more important things to worry about. After all, the conversation wasn't over.

Totsuka looks down nervously. "So, um, actually, there's something I wanted to ask you about." He looks up at Hachiman, causing him to look away with a small blush.

"Ask me about?"

"Yeah. It's about our tennis club. Did you know?" Totsuka has a downtrodden expression. "We're really bad. We don't have many members, and once the third-years leave, we'll probably be even worse."

"Huh, really?" Miura perked up. "Sobu's tennis club is struggling? I didn't know that."

"Eheh, it's actually gotten a little better," Totsuka explained, scratching his head. "It's actually thanks to Hachiman and the service club that helped with that."

"Ehh? Onii-chan helped with that?" Komachi asked with some surprise. Did Totsuka actually cause her brother's kindhearted side to emerge?

"Yeah! He and Yui and Yukinoshita-san helped me out with some training." Totsuka beamed, before he suddenly shivered. "Though, that training was k-kind of s-scary…"

"Mhm, indeed," Zaimokuza suddenly cut in. "I witnessed it myself. You are a true soldier for having endured it, Saika!"

Isshiki tilted her head in confusion. "Is tennis training realllyyyyy that bad?"

"Normally, it isn't. But we're talking about training made by Yukinoshita herself," I explained.

"Ohhh. That makes sense." Isshiki understood completely. Yukino-san was a scary person, after all.

Miura raised an eyebrow at the conversation. While she did play in a tennis match against the service club, she never saw the training they were doing prior to it. Now I'm, like, actually sort of curious…

"I see."

"So…" Totsuka looks up at Hachiman. "If you don't mind, Hikigaya-kun… would you join our tennis club?"

Hachiman flinches back. "Huh?"

"Wait, Saika, you asked Hikki to join the tennis club?" Yuigahama asked in surprise.

"Yeah. His tennis form was pretty good, so I thought that if he joined, then his skills would help out!" Totsuka described his thought process.

"Pfft. That, like, wouldn't have helped too much." Miura scoffed. "Simply adding a good player to a tennis team might help you earn, like, a few wins, but if they don't inspire the rest of the team, then they would all still be the same." She waved a hand in front of her. "No offense to Hikio, but he doesn't strike me as the type of guy to, like, do that kind of thing."

"Oh…" Totsuka wilted at the criticism of his former plan.

"Hey now, don't be that harsh," Hiratsuka cut in, while crossing her arms. "You might be right about what you said, but despite his flaws, Hikigaya does have the ability to be inspirational. Of course, it depends if he's really invested in something. Which," she turned to face the guy in question, "at that point in time, I don't think he would have tried too much."

"Hey…" I weakly protested.

"Though, considering his fascination with Totsuka, maybe something would have changed." The teacher leaned back into her seat. "I have no idea though. I'm not really into what-ifs, so who knows?"

Oh really? I have a perfect retort against that, but for the safety of my body, I will avoid thinking or saying such a thing. So instead, I remained silent.

"...Whatever you say sensei." Miura mostly discounted her words. To her, Hikio didn't seem like the type of person to do that. Maybe she was missing something?

The camera abruptly cuts to the sign in front of the service club. "Not possible," Yukinoshita declares.

Eh? Oh, right, this is where I told Yukinoshita about joining the tennis club.

"What do you mean, 'not possible?'" Hachiman tries to protest. "Listen…"

"What's not possible is not possible," she looks away from him, choosing to read her book instead.

"But all I have to do is give the tennis club a shot in the arm," Hachiman explains. "I thought I would quit the Service Club, then pretend to join the tennis club and gradually fade out there, too…"

Ouch, did I really think that?

"Huh…? W-What did you m-mean by t-that?" Totsuka stammered.

Ugh, I'm seriously getting sick of explaining my own thoughts. Though, I guess it's warranted in this case. I sighed and began to explain. "I wasn't a fan of losing the free time I had, so I was looking for a way out of it. Also, since I saw myself as someone who wasn't really noticed, I assumed that I'd just fade into obscurity." Now that I think about it, would that plan have even worked?

"Heh. You weren't gonna get out of the club that easily," Hiratsuka smirked. "Not on Yukinoshita's watch, considering her denial."

"Yeah yeah, I know." It was probably for the better anyways. I truly did treasure the connections I made with them. I turned to face Totsuka. "I'm not sure if I would have been able to help out the tennis club if I had simply joined it."

"I mean, I w-wouldn't discount yourself, Hachiman." The silver haired guy turned away in embarrassment. "After all, you did help beat Miura-san in the tennis match, d-didn't you?"

Sure, but I sort of exploited something that wouldn't have worked in a normal situation. "I appreciate the faith in my abilities, but I'm not as confident as you." I lightly chuckled. "It all worked out in the end though, didn't it?"

Totsuka looked back at me and nodded. "Yeah, I-I guess it did!"

Yukinoshita looks back at him. "Do you think you're capable of group activities? No group would accept someone like you." Hachiman looks away with a sweatdrop. "True, the team may become more unified by accepting you as a common enemy. But working together just to get rid of you wouldn't improve their performance, so it wouldn't solve their problem," she explains. "The source is me."

"Huh?" Shiromeguri expressed her confusion. "Why would they try to expel Hikigaya-kun from the tennis club?"

"Hehe, allow me to explain Meguri." Haruno piped up. "They'd see him as an outsider who came out of nowhere. To make matters worse, he'd probably have been better than them instantly. It would feel like he only joined because everyone else sucked."

Shiromeguri opened her mouth to retort, before closing it again. "...I can sort of see what you mean…"

Hayama glanced at the two out of the corner of his eye, before he focused on the screen again. I suppose they're not wrong. Hikigaya-kun probably isn't the type of guy who would want to get along with those types of people either.

"That makes sense… Wait, source?"

"I used to live overseas. While I enrolled here in middle school, all the girls were determined to get rid of me. But none of them could improve themselves enough to be superior to me. Those imbeciles."

"I feel like there's a bigger story behind that…" Isshiki observed. "I wonder if we'll see it?"

"I… am not sure if we will," Yukinoshita responded with hesitation. "My hope is that it does not, but considering its violations of Hikigaya-kun's privacy, it is very possible."

Zaimokuza was prepared to say something, but after remembering how Yukinoshita seemed to criticize him often, he decided against saying anything. In typical rom coms, the backstories of the female characters are typically revealed. However, I suspect saying that will lead to more damage from her, so I shall refrain from saying it outloud.

"Wait, Yukinoshita-san used to live overseas?" Orimoto asked with surprise. When she thought about it more, however, she realized that it sort of made sense. Her family was probably rich, and rich families tended to send their children overseas for one reason or another. "Haha, that actually makes sense."

Hachiman looks at Yukinoshita with an expression (A/N: I have no idea how to describe the expression in this scene.) "Isn't there anything we can do for Totsuka's sake?"

"Hehehe, look at him!" Ebina shouted suddenly. "Hikitani-kun truly does care for Totsuka-kun! Oh, I can't believe I missed this the whole time! Hahahahahaha-"

As usual, Kawasaki interfered by… slapping her. She slumped into her seat, unmoving. "Ugh, sorry about that. At this point, you should probably get used to it," Kawasaki said with a wince.

Miura sighed. "Hina's weird quirks have always been there, but she's, like, being more annoying than usual." She glared at Hachiman. "This is probably your fault or something."

"Oi, it's not my fault she's all crazy about her fantasies," I retorted. Though, she was right about her being more annoying about it. My interactions with her in the past indicated that her yaoi obsession wasn't something she revealed that often. Yet, almost every time she's opened her mouth so far, there was something relating to yaoi included in her words. What's up with that?

"Aside from that girl being weird," Komachi began. "Onii-chan normally doesn't do that…"

Yukinoshita closes her book. "Are you normally the type who worries about other people?"

"Exactly!" Komachi exclaimed, pointing at the screen. Of course, she was aware of her brother's kindhearted side. However, he wasn't usually one to use that to help someone out that he had just met.

Hachiman rubs the back of his head. "Well, you know, it was the first time anyone ever came to me for help…"

"Ohhhh." Now it made sense. She turned to face her brother with a soft smile. "Look at you, onii-chan!"

"O-Oi…" For some reason, the way Komachi said that was embarrassing. "Don't act cheeky like that."

She stuck her tongue out at me. "Boo! You can't stop me onii-chan!"

Oh, I would doubt your words, Komachi. Before I could do anything though, I was interrupted.

"T-Thanks for wanting to help, Hachiman!" Totsuka thanked me.

"Well, uh, like I said up there, you were the first person to come to me specifically for help." Even if I was sort of using his request for help as a way to try to get out of the service club. But it wasn't like I was going to leave Totsuka in the dust if that didn't work out. I would have been a prick if I did that.

"Hearing every request and handing out help isn't always the best solution."

"What would you do?"

"Let's see…" Yukinoshita thinks for a second. "I'd have them all run until they die, then swing until they die, then practice until they die, perhaps?"

Totsuka, Yuigahama, and I sweatdropped. Who would have thought that would have turned out to be semi-true? Just watching the two girls undergo the training was painful enough.

Miura raised an eyebrow at her words. "Seriously? There's no way that was what you did to help him out. That, like, isn't proper tennis practice."

"Now, now, Yumiko. At the moment, it's only Hikitani-kun and Yukinoshita-san who are in the room," Hayama pointed out. "Maybe they thought of a more effective training method?"

Ha, if only. You should know that Yukinoshita doesn't hold back on these kinds of things.

Haruno simply giggled at Hayama's words. Yukino-chan wouldn't lie about that kind of thing. I'm certain that they followed her "training." Unless Hikigaya-kun thought of something better, but somehow I doubt that.

Hachiman sweatdrops, but before anything else could be said, Yuigahama barges into the clubroom.

"Yahallo! I brought someone with a request for help!" She steps aside to reveal Totsuka next to her.

"Huh, what a coincidence," Hiratsuka observed.

Shiromeguri widened her eyes. "Wow, that's some timing!" They were just talking about him!

"Oh, Hikigaya-kun…" Totsuka said with surprise.

"Totsuka?"

"Huh? What are you doing here?"

"Uh, my club meets here." He turns to face Yuigahama. "What about you?"

"Oh, you know, I'm a member of the Service Club too, right?" Yuigahama explains. "So I thought I'd do some work. And it looked like Sai-chan needed help, so I brought him."

"Yuigahama-san…"

"Yukinon, you don't need to thank me. I only did what a club member should do."

"Yuigahama-san, you aren't exactly a member of this club," Yukinoshita interrupts.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Miura asked in a dangerous tone. If her friend was going to join a club, then she better be allowed in!

Yukinoshita turned around to glare at the blonde haired girl. "Simple. She never sent in an application. You should be aware of that at this point."

Miura narrowed her eyes, before she relented. "Well, like, how was I supposed to know? This stupid show may have, like, skipped over it."

That's a fair point. It did already skip a bunch of smaller things that happened. Not to mention that Yuigahama was there for a majority of the previous episode. I was actually surprised to hear that originally, since I thought she was already part of the club.

"I'm surprised that she wasn't already aware of that," Orimoto observed. "At my school, I'm pretty sure all clubs make it very clear that you gotta submit an application to join a club."

"It's the same at Sobu," Hiratsuka explained. "It's just that the service club was still very new at the time, so we failed to communicate that properly."

"Oh! I guess that makes sense, haha," Orimoto replied, though she was a bit surprised the teacher was the one who responded.

"I'm not?!" Yuigahama cried out with an exaggerated expression.

"She's not? This isn't one of those things where she's just suddenly a member somehow?"

"No. I never received an application from you," Yukinoshita explains. "And you do not have the advisor's approval, so you're not a member."

"I'll fill one out! I'll fill out all of the applications you want!"

"Hehe, Yui realllyyyy~ wanted to join the club, huh?" Isshiki said in a teasing tone.

"Iroha, don't tease me like that!" Yuigahama shouted with a pout. "I just liked hanging out with Hikki and Yukinon, y'know?"

"Sure." Isshiki leaned over to give her a mischievous grin. "I believe you."

"Iroha…"

Eh? What's going on between those two? I must be missing something… nah, who am I kidding. Isshiki is just being her usual self, while Yuigahama took her teasing in a certain way.

"So you're Totsuka Saika-kun, yes?" Yukinoshita asks over Yuigahama's talking.

The camera cuts to show Yuigahama's club application. "Very well." Yukinoshita stands up from the table, where the four of them were sitting. "We'll accept your request. You want us to help make you stronger, right?"

"Yes. If I can get better, I think the others will work hard with me," Totsuka explains.

Miura crossed her legs. "I guess I can, like, see that working. You're the tennis captain, so unlike with Hikio, they would probably be motivated."

Oi, did you really need to mention me in there? You already made your point earlier…

"She's right. In the soccer club, I have noticed that when I work harder, the rest of the team also works harder as well." Hayama gave his two cents with a smile. "So I believe that your method is a good one, Totsuka-kun."

"Hehehe, thanks guys," Totsuka sheepishly scratched his head. "I said it earlier, but it did end up working. S-So I'm glad I was able to get help from them."

"So, how do we do that?" Hachiman asks.

"I just told you earlier. Did you forget?" Yukinoshita smirked.

"Wait, you were serious about that?" Totsuka glances at Yukinoshita with a nervous expression.

Miura's eyebrow ticked. "Like I said, there's no way what she said would work! How would that have, like, helped Totsuka-kun out?"

Frankly, I'm not entirely sure myself. But he said it worked, so hey, I'm not complaining.

The scene switches to the tennis courts, before showing Yuigahama and Totsuka doing push-ups while Yukinoshita reads from a book. Then it shows the two running and doing other activities, while Hachiman stares at a bunch of ants walking on the ground.

"Onii-chan didn't do the training?" Komachi asked.

"Nah. I didn't want to go through that. Plus, it was supposed to be for Totsuka." I glanced at Yuigahama in the corner of my eye. "I'm not sure why she was doing it as well though."

"Hikki, that's rude!" Yuigahama pouted. "I wanted to make sure Sai-chan wasn't alone in the training!"

"Haha, that wasn't necessary, Yui," Totsuka chuckled. "Just being there to help me would have been enough. But t-thanks for training with me."

Yuigahama beamed at the silver haired guy. "Hehe, it all worked out!"

The two are running again, with Zaimokuza watching from the outside of the courts. Then they stretch out their backs as Hachiman continues to watch ants. It cuts to show Totsuka swinging his racket, while Yuigahama sits on the ground. Zaimokuza watches from the sidelines.

"Blasty Sand Rock!" Suddenly, Zaimokuza is shown throwing up a tennis ball and swinging at it. It shows that the tennis ball struck right where Hachiman was watching the ants. He has a shocked expression on his face.

"Hahahahahaha!" Haruno couldn't help but laugh out loud. "You're a funny guy, Hikigaya-kun!"

Miura was also laughing, though for a different reason. "Pfft, what kind of stupid phrase is 'Blasty Sand Rock?'"

Zaimokuza flinched from her words. "D-Don't judge the names of my attacks!" He turned to face me. "H-Hachiman, I ask that your tennis match properly showcases how you utterly destroyed the enemy side!"

"Oi, why are you asking me about something that has already happened? Not to mention that the match was really close." Did an insult seriously make him forget to think logically?

"Hmm, you make good arguments, Hachiman." Zaimokuza said, continuously nodding his head. "I shall make myself more clear: I ask that the screen showcases all of the crucial moments."

"Well, I don't control what the screen shows, so we'll see." If I was in control, we wouldn't even be watching this.

"So the days went by, and our tennis challenge entered its second phase."

Oh, that's the middle of the episode? Well, I guess the second half is probably dedicated to the tennis match.

The volume of the theater gradually increased, but I wasn't really in the mood for talking. I was half-tempted to stand up and walk out, though the mid-episode transitions were usually not very long, so I decided to wait until the episode itself ended.

It was at this time that Ebina finally sat up straight. "H-Huh? What happened?"

Kawasaki nervously looked away from her. "S-Sorry. I was trying to stop you from saying something awful, but I sort of put too much force into my slap."

The brown haired girl adjusted her glasses. "Saki-saki, you don't need to worry about it. Because no matter what you do, I'll forever hold my love for yaoi boys!"

"...I take back my apology."

Next to her, Tobe shivered. "D-Dude, that Kawasaki girl is scary! Hayato, remind me to stay away from her!"

Hayama chuckled. "I think you're exaggerating your concerns. She probably doesn't mean it."

Kawasaki overheard his words and rolled her eyes. Typical of him to say. I don't think I've ever seen him acting antagonistic towards anyone.

"I dunno bro, she did knock out Hina!"

"It was an accident!" The girl shouted.

"Yes yes, I'm sorry!" Tobe bowed at Kawasaki. "Please don't hurt me!"

"Now now, I don't think Kawasaki-san would do such a thing on purpose," Shiromeguri said from the row behind them. "She's a nice girl, after all!"

"Pfft. More like a brute," Miura suddenly cut in.

"Oh? At least I'm not being rude for no reason!" Kawasaki retorted.

"Ha! I wasn't the one who knocked out Hina!"

"I said it was an accident!"

Before the argument could devolve any further, Ebina interfered. "Whoa, this is getting a bit out of hand! Instead of arguing, you should be talking about yaoi-"

"No." For once the two girls were in sync.

"Okayyyyy," Ebina backed off. However, her interference did manage to stop the argument from progressing any further. Good, I was able to stop them. When those two get going, it takes forever for them to stop naturally.

"No need to argue, you two!" Shiromeguri put on a lecturing tone. "We have a show to watch, after all!"

"...Fine." Miura and Kawasaki both focused their attention back onto the screen.

Since I was quiet this time, I heard the entire thing. I swore that a fight was going to break out there. Remind me to stay far away from those girls…

Oh hey, the screen's coming back.

The camera returns to a view of the tennis courts. It suddenly shows Totsuka trying to dive for a ball, but missing and landing on the floor. From the other side of the court, Yuigahama runs to the net and shouts, "Sai-chan! Are you okay?"

"Ouch, that's a nasty fall," Hiratsuka expressed with concern. "Did you get that checked out?"

Totsuka weakly laughed. "Uh… e-eventually?"

"...Well, I guess it wasn't that serious then." To my surprise, Hiratsuka didn't say anything else about that. That's kind of unusual. Unless, maybe she just trusts Totsuka so much that she knows if it really was serious, he'd get it checked out? I don't blame her…

Totsuka's knees are shown to be bruised, but he stands up regardless. "I'm okay. Keep it going."

Miura winced when the injuries were shown, but she didn't say anything about it. She wasn't sure whether Totsuka should be scolded for still playing, or to commend him for pushing through the pain he was in.

Orimoto was impressed. "Wow! I certainly would have given up there!"

"Heh. Simple injuries are never enough to keep down Saika!" Zaimokuza declared.

"Uh… sure?" Why was the sort of creepy guy the one who replied to me?

Totsuka rubbed the back of his head. "I mean, it wasn't really that bad. I've seen a lot of worse ones in some of my matches."

Orimoto shook her head. "Regardless, it's still pretty cool!"

"W-Well, thanks!"

Huh, I feel like that's the first time Orimoto has said anything to Totsuka. She knows how to properly treat Totsuka- er, she's being nice to him. That's good.

"You intend to keep playing?" Yukinoshita asks.

"Yeah. Since you're all with me, I want to try a little longer."

"I see. Then, Yuigahama-san, take care of the rest." The raven haired girl then walks away, with Yuigahama looking back concernedly.

"Ehhhhh? She just left like that?" Isshiki glanced at Yukinoshita. "That seems rude."

"Hah. I knew she was a bad tennis coach!" Miura scolded the raven-haired girl.

Yukinoshita shook her head. "It appears your memory has failed you, Miura-san." She leaned over in her seat to face Isshiki. "I had gone to search for the school nurse, but I had difficulty finding her. Thus, I had to search for a medical kit instead."

"Tch." Miura forgot about that part. She leaned back in her seat and glowered at the screen. That probably means we're, like, getting close to the tennis match.

"Oohhh. That makes more sense." Isshiki had known Yukinoshita for… close to a year at that point, so it seemed weird that she would just leave like that. Now it made more sense.

"Hehe, classic Yukino-chan," Haruno mumbled to herself, quiet enough that no one else overheard.

Totsuka walks up to the net. "I wonder if she got tired of this because I'm not getting any better…"

"Well, I was wrong!" Totsuka cheerfully exclaimed.

"I don't think so. Yukinon doesn't turn her back on people who are relying on her."

"Yeah, she put up with your cooking, after all," Hachiman pipes up.

"What do you mean by that?!" Yuigahama shouts with a glare.

I shrugged. "I mean, it's pretty clear what I meant by that." I don't want to taste your cooking from that time ever again. Thankfully, she has improved since then.

"I would scold you onii-chan, but even I got the shivers from that…" Komachi said as she recalled the first episode.

Yukinoshita nodded. "Even I must agree with Hikigaya-kun on that point."

"You're all so mean!" Yuigahama pouted. "I'll make sure you regret it!"

Uh, what's that supposed to mean? Wait… please don't tell me you'll regress your cooking skills out of spite!

"There is no need for that, Yuigahama-san." Thankfully, Yukinoshita came to the rescue. "Your skills have improved since then, after all."

"...You think so?"

Yukinoshita and I nodded at the same time. "Thanks guys!" Don't act too grateful, Yuigahama. The bar was set so low that almost anything would have been better.

Out of the blue, someone else starts shouting. "Hey, you're playing tennis!" The camera reveals Hayama's clique standing by the entrance to the courts. "Mind if we play here, too?"

And so we appear once again, Hayama said, thinking back to that day.

"Yo, it's us!" Tobe pointed at the screen. "Dude, that tennis match was so exciting!"

"Oh, was it? I wanna see it now!" Shiromeguri exclaimed. She never got to see what her kouhais were up to, so this was a good chance to see what they did. I think they said Hikigaya-kun won, but I don't remember exactly…

Miura scowled for a moment, before… smiling slightly? As much as I'm irritated that I lost, I can't deny that it was a pretty good match. Well, once Yukinoshita-san joined in. Not to mention… Her cheeks became slightly rosy. Hayato caught me before I ran into the wall there. Ah~, that was heaven!

"Miura-san… We're not really playing…" Totsuka quietly protests.

"What was that? I can't hear you."

Miura's statement causes Totsuka and Yuigahama to look away. That causes Hachiman to speak up instead. "Yeah, Totsuka got permission to use this court. No one else can use it."

"True," Hiratsuka confirmed. "Though, I'm surprised you're the one who brought that up."

"Really?" I asked with confusion.

"...I take that back. Forgot that Yukinoshita wasn't there for the time being." The teacher chuckled to herself. "Not show how I did, but hey, it happens sometimes."

Maybe you need to get your brain checked then…

"Yeah? You're using it, aren't you?"

"No, I'm helping him practice." Hachiman raises his arms slightly. "It's like a subcontract… or outsourcing."

"Typical Hikigaya-kun," Yukinoshita said with a sigh. "Of course you would compare the service club to a corporation."

"It's true though!" I protested. Well, maybe not exactly, but you know what I mean! "I was trying to get them to go away with facts, but I sort of forgot who I was working with."

Miura felt her eyebrow tick. "Hikio, what are you implying?" she said in a cold tone.

Oops, gotta backtrack. "Don't worry about it." Ok, not exactly a backtrack, but I wasn't going to let myself be destroyed by the fire queen.

The fire queen in question narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Hikio…"

"Now Yumiko, let's just let him be." Hayama interfered before things could get worse.

"Tch, fine." Really, she wasn't even planning to do anything that bad.

Haruno giggled. His random references to society are pretty funny to see. Now, I'm curious about this tennis match that has that blonde bimbo pissed off, yet happy at the same time. She had noticed Miura's changing expressions from the previous scene, which piqued her curiosity.

"Huh? What are you even talking about? Creepy…" Miura looks at Hachiman with a disgusted expression.

That just sounds like you don't know what "outsourcing" even means. Well, that or she just ignored what I said and called me creepy for no reason. That's a very real possibility…

"Come on, don't pick a fight," Hayama chimes in. "It's more fun to play with everyone."

"Everyone?" Hachiman didn't like the idea of that. "Who's 'everyone'? The same 'everyone' you use to beg your mom for something by saying 'Everyone else has one'? Who's that supposed to be? I don't have friends, so I never got to use that excuse."

Hiratsuka blinked in surprise. "Well, that came out of nowhere."

"In my defense, I was probably mad that they barged in like that and wanted to use the court we were using," I defended myself.

"Oh no, I'm not criticizing you for being mad about that," Hiratsuka explained. "The angle of attack you used wasn't the path I expected you to use, however."

"I'm just impressed that senpai easily admitted that he had no friends!" Isshiki giggled.

I rolled my eyes. "I used to boast about that all the time. I mostly stopped doing that when I met you."

"Nuh uh!" Komachi retorted my point. "You still talk about the ways of 'being a loner' or whatever that means, onii-chan."

"Being a loner and having no friends aren't the same thing," I explained, before pausing. Actually, was that true? Hm, maybe I'm the one who needs to consult a dictionary. Still, I gotta stick by my guns. "I still think of myself as a loner, but I clearly have friends now."

"Look at you!" Hiratsuka cheered, making my eyebrow tick. "Easily admitting you have friends with no hesitation! I'm proud of you."

"Yeah yeah…" Celebrate all you want. We still have a tennis match to get to.

"I didn't mean it that way. Sorry." Hayama starts walking towards the group of three. "If something's bothering you, you can talk to me."

"Hayama, I appreciate your kindness. And I get that you have a good personality. You're the ace of the soccer club, and you're good-looking to boot." Hayama stops walking. "You must be quite popular among the ladies."

"Wh-Where's this coming from?"

"What Hayama-san said!" Shiromeguri glanced at Hachiman. "He went from being rude to complimenting him?"

"Maybe he actually confesses his true feelings to Hayato!" Ebina exclaimed with excitement. "This is the part where they'll-"

Kawasaki glared at her. "Don't."

"Eek! Okay okay, I won't say it!"

"Someone like you, who has so much, wants to take this court," Hachiman gestures to the court, "from me, who has nothing? Do you feel no shame?"

"Hahaha!" Haruno laughed. "Once again, you're being so funny Hikigaya-kun!"

Shiromeguri was confused. "How does he have nothing while Hayama-kun has everything? I don't understand…"

Miura scoffed. "I'd ignore it. It's just Hikio being Hikio."

"For once, Miura-san is correct," Yukinoshita joined in. "This is merely one of Hikigaya-kun's 'speeches' that can be ignored."

"Oi, that's rude." I admit what I said was kind of creepy, but you don't need to ignore it completely!

"Sorry, Hikki, but Yukinon is right." Yuigahama also joined in to bash his words. You too?!

"Ugh, fine." I give up. No point in fighting back against that.

"O-Okay?" Shiromeguri leaned back into her seat with confusion painted on her face. No one was willing to answer her?

Through that mini-argument, Hayama was looking at the scene with… a small smile? You've always disliked me, haven't you? Haha, that fills me with ease.

"Precisely!" Zaimokuza suddenly appears next to Hachiman and points at the blonde haired guy. "Good Sir Hayama! Your behavior is an abhorrent violation of human ethics!"

Totsuka sweatdropped. "T-That might be a bit far, Yoshiteru."

"Ah, but it is simply the truth!" Zaimokuza didn't back down. "I shall stand by that declaration!"

"Okay…" Totsuka didn't argue back. He knew there was no changing his mind when he was set on something. Well, unless Hachiman argued against it. Yoshiteru looks up to Hachiman, doesn't he? Or, well, as an equal? I don't know for sure…

Yuigahama sighs. "The depressive servility doubles when they're together…"

A tennis ball strikes the net and hops over it. Miura is shown holding a racket and ball. "Hey, Hayato, I wanna play tennis already."

Kawasaki scowled. Of course she would ignore the people already using the court. That's just how she is. A bitch.

Ebina reflected on herself back in that moment. Truthfully, she was uncomfortable with how they were going to kick some strangers (at the time) off a tennis court just so they could play. But, as she usually did, she never spoke out against it. It would have just added more division among the clique.

Orimoto glanced at Miura out of the corner of her eye. Outright ignoring what the other person wanted wasn't really something she did often. Seeing someone do that honestly made her feel a bit uncomfortable, especially since it was someone whom she was getting along with. But, again, this was a year ago, so maybe things were different?

Hayama thinks for a second. "Then, let's do this. As a fellow outsider, I'll play against Hikitani-kun. The winner gets to use this court during breaks from now on."

"U-Um…" Totsuka tries to protest.

"Of course, the winner will help you practice too." The scene splits in half, showing Hachiman on the left and Hayama on the right. "Practicing with someone who's strong will be better for you, after all. Sounds good?"

Hachiman gives a nod, causing Miura to get excited. "No way! That sounds so fun! We might as well play mixed doubles, then! Ohmigod, I'm so smart!"

"I feeeeeeeel like she's just trying to find excuses to play tennis." Isshiki observed, glancing at the blonde girl.

"What can I say? It's a fun sport!" Miura exclaimed. "I'll never deny an opportunity to play tennis!"

…Surprisingly, I don't actually have any internal snapbacks this time. Eh, it's not like I was gonna say one outloud anyways. So, good for you, Miura.

Isshiki was slightly taken aback. She didn't expect her to confirm her words. "A-Ah, is that so?"

Hm? Isshiki seems surprised at her response. Good job on knocking her off-guard, Miura!

"This is bad," Zaimokuza comments. "No girl would be willing to assist a dull, solitary guy like you. What will you do?"

"Did Zaimokuza-kun just call Hikigaya-kun a 'dull and solitary' guy?" Shiromeguri asked with surprise. "I thought they were friends that just didn't want to admit it…"

That implies we're both tsunderes, Shiromeguri. And frankly, reducing both of us to a simple personality trait is quite harsh, you knooooow?

"Ah, you must have misunderstood, Shiromeguri-san!" Zaimokuza exclaimed, somehow managing to turn around and stare at her with zero hesitation. "I was merely saying that most girls would have seen him as a 'dull and solitary' guy. Of course, that is not what I truly believe!"

"Oh, I get it!" Shiromeguri slapped a fist on her palm. "That seems kind of mean to Hikigaya-kun though…"

"That's just how those two roll," explained Yuigahama with a sigh. "It gets kind of creepy sometimes…"

"Oohhh. I see!" Shiromeguri nodded with a smile.

For some reason, that just caused Zaimokuza to whisper loudly to me. "Hachiman, I highly doubt she understands!"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't worry about it." I'm not really in the mood to deal with it.

"I'll play," Yuigahama declares.

"Oh? Yui played with onii-chan?" Komachi wasn't aware of this event, so that surprised her. "Why haven't I heard about this?!"

Komachi, that tone of voice is getting low on Komachi points… "Because why would I tell you?"

"I gotta know everything about my bro's love life!"

Ugh, not this again. "You just lost some Komachi points because of that." There, that'll shut her up.

"W-Wait, I was joking!" Komachi cried out with a pout. Ha, I knew that would work.

"Hikki, don't be mean like that!" To my surprise, Yuigahama interfered. Oi, this is a sibling discussion. Then again, you are the subject being discussed, so fair enough. Still though…

"If you had a sibling, you'd get what I mean," I retorted back (A few rows behind me, Kawasaki nodded), before returning my focus to Komachi. "All you need to do is take your statement back and all is forgiven." I put my best (?) smile on to drive that point home.

"Onii-chan, that smile is creeping me out…" Crap, I messed it up. "But okay! You're already with Yuki-nee, so I don't need to interfere anymore!" Oh come on… I can feel myself blushing now!

I tactically retreated from the conversation. "Whatever…" Say, since she was likely listening in, maybe Yukinoshita was also blushing? Maybe I should risk a look?

…Eh, it's not worth it. I instead looked back up at the screen. Little did I know, Yukinoshita was indeed blushing, but unlike me, she saw my own blush. The blush looks… adorable- No. I must not think such a thing. She shook her head and calmed herself down.

"Huh?" Hachiman expressed his confusion.

"Well, what can I say? I'm in the Service Club now, too. So I should, right?"

"Idiot. Don't do it," Hachiman admonishes her. "Miura's glaring daggers at you."

"What?! No way! She is?!" She looks at the blonde haired girl, who was indeed glaring at Yuigahama.

Yukinoshita narrowed her eyes. I was not here for this part. I presume it ended well, but I must confirm it.

"Aw, look at Hikigaya not wanting to make her play against her friend," Hiratsuka teased.

"I mean, why would I want that? From a tactical standpoint, playing against her friend might mean that she would be more hesitant to make crucial plays that would make them lose," I crudely explained my viewpoint.

"Hikki!" Yuigahama pouted for the millionth time. "I can be serious against my friends!"

"At the time, I wouldn't have known that," I argued back. "Don't forget that, at this point, we really didn't know each other very well."

"Oh… that's a good point…"

"Yui, if you're playing, that means you play against me. You okay with that?" Miura firmly made it clear what it meant to play in the match.

"I-I wouldn't say that… But my club is important to me, too."

Miura nodded. "While it may have, like, annoyed me at the time, I'm glad Yui stood up for herself," she said with a slight smile. That earned her a few surprised glances from the others. "What?"

"I didn't know Yumiko could be that nice!" Tobe recklessly shouted, only to be glared at by the person in question. "Ahh! I'm sorry!"

Discounting Miura's unexpected comment, I'm sort of glad too. I'm not entirely sure what I would have done if Yuigahama didn't want to play. I guess it would have been me and Zaimokuza, at least until Yukinoshita got back.

Hachiman looks mildly surprised at Yuigahama's declaration, before the camera starts panning around the courts. Then it shows Miura, who has changed into her tennis clothes. It does the same for Yuigahama, before it zooms out to show the full court.

Tobe nearly shouted out that the two girls looked good, before clamping himself down. They were his friends. Plus, he knew that it made both of them uncomfortable whenever other boys made those comments, so he stayed silent.

"Okay, let's begin," Totsuka declares, sitting in the referee's chair. Miura throws the tennis ball up and serves it towards Hachiman, who attempts to return it. He overshoots and hits it beyond Miura. "Fifteen-love!"

"D-Don't get down, Hachiman!" Totsuka suddenly spoke up. "I could tell that it was a really hard serve!"

"Yeah, I know." Did you forget that this took place a year ago? Don't tell me you're losing your memory like the others did in the past two episodes?!

…Nah, I think we're fine. Totsuka probably got caught up in the moment of watching the serve. Phew, I nearly thought of something bad there.

"She's damn strong," Hachiman comments.

"Well, Yumiko was chosen for the prefectural girls' tennis tournament in middle school," Yuigahama explains.

"You were?" Orimoto displayed her surprise. "That's super cool, Miura-san!"

"Ha." Miura was brimming with pride. "I've improved since then too!"

"Ehhhh? Didn't the weirdo say something about how senpai destroyed you?" Isshiki pointed out cheekily.

The blonde haired girl's mood went sour. "That was a fluke! Besides, it was, like, mostly Yukinoshita-san who did the work. Hikio was just there doing nothing." She leaned back into her seat. "Also, this wasn't, like, a serious tournament, so I wasn't really fully prepared.'

…You might be right to an extent, but that's still harsh to say. Also, I think you're just making excuses.

"Sure…" Isshiki's tone expressed doubt, but she didn't say much more. Speaking of her, I've noticed that she's been acting a bit more antagonistic to Miura than usual. That's kind of weird. I guess maybe she still has a thing for Hayama?

…Why do I feel like that is the completely wrong answer?

"So those ringlets aren't just for show."

"That's actually a loose wave…"

They look the same to me! Besides, I don't know anything about hairstyles. Someone could name a bunch of them to me and I'd just blankly stare back.

The camera shows several shots of Yuigahama trying to reach for the tennis ball, but missing completely. She tries to dive for another, but misses. "Game!" Totsuka shouts.

"Ow…"

"Are you okay?" Hachiman asks Yuigahama.

( A/N: Someone in the reviews suggested a minor change to the dialogue for this scene from the light novel. So I decided to implement it. Enjoy!)

"Sorry. I might have twisted it a little."

"Another injury?" Shiromeguri winced. "I didn't think playing tennis caused so many of those…"

Totsuka shook his head. "U-Usually, it doesn't. I think we just got unlucky."

"But then who's replacing Yui?" Komachi wondered. "Yuki-nee still isn't there yet, right?"

She tries to flex her ankle. "It'll mess things up for Sai-chan if we lose… Darn it…"

"Well, we'll figure a way out of this. Worst case, we dress Zaimokuza up in women's

Clothing."

"...That's just disgusting." Komachi made a grossed out expression. "Onii-chan, why would you suggest that?!"

"Frankly, I'm not sure myself." That mental image scares me very much, and I'm the one who suggested it!

"Of course, Hikigaya-kun would be the one to say such a thing." Yukinoshita was also disgusted by the thought. "Besides, such a plan would have failed miserably. It would have been discovered in an instant."

"That'll get found out in a minute!"

The raven haired girl nodded. "Even Yuigahama-san has seen the flaw in your plan."

"Do not forget me!" Zaimokuza shook his head. "Hachiman, I'm afraid the sacrifice would not have been worth it. I shall never wear women's clothing out in public!"

…Something worries me about that sentence, but I can't place my finger on it. Which is odd, because it sounds normal to me…

"Hohohoho." Suddenly, we heard Ebina's scary laughter from behind us. "I see, I see now. So that's the kind of fetish you're into!"

"What?!" Kawasaki rapidly blushed next to her. "W-What nonsense are you saying?!"

"There's only one reason that Hikitani-kun would suggest such a thing. And that is-"

Kawasaki covered the girl's mouth to prevent her from speaking. "Don't. Say. It."

"Mmph!" Ebina struggled against the hand, but Kawasaki was stronger, so she failed to get the hand off.

"For the sanity of all of us, keep your thoughts in your head!" She's driving me crazy!

"I concur." Yukinoshita had turned around to glare at the yaoi-loving girl. "I had tolerated it thus far, but I would prefer it if you stopped disrespecting my partner like that."

Ebina shivered at the glare she was being given and quickly nodded.

"Good. Kawasaki-san, feel free to remove your hand whenever."

The blue-haired girl removed her hand from Ebina's face, though she was still glaring at her. It was always annoying whenever she had to do that.

I stared at the scene in surprise. I didn't really expect that to happen. But I really hope that's it, because Ebina was seriously getting annoying. I mentioned it earlier, but she feels much more annoying than she normally is. What's up with that?

"True…" Hachiman thinks for a moment. "Well then, here's an idea... You just stay somewhere in the court. I'll handle the rest."

"...How?"

"There is a forbidden technique in tennis that has been around since time immemorial. The name of that technique is: 'My racquet has become a rocket!'"

"Huh? What's that?" Tobe dumbly asked.

"You don't need to know, Kakeru." Miura sidestepped the question entirely, before turning her focus to Hachiman. "If you tried that Hikio, you would have seriously regretted it," she said in a cold tone.

I wasn't looking at her, but I could just feel the scariness rolling off her. "Yes ma'am," I replied instinctively. Note to self: never suggest throwing a tennis racquet at Miura.

"That's just a foul!"

"...Well," Hachiman walks away for a second, but looks back at Yuigahama. "Worst case scenario, I get serious. When I get serious, groveling and even boot licking is no problem."

"Ew. That's just gross, like, Hikio." Miura stuck her tongue out in disgust. "First the 'racquet rocket,' now this? How desperate were you?"

"Yeah dude! That's pretty gross dude!" Tobe joined in.

I refuse to answer that! Instead, I elected to stay silent. In my place, Zaimokuza attempted to defend me.

"When we fight the upper elites of society, everything must be accepted as an option!" He declared. Er, what? "We must use anything in order to gain an advantage over them!"

"Uh, would you really get an advantage over anyone through bootlicking?" Kawasaki pointed out. "Wouldn't you just be letting them have power over you, making your point invalid?"

"That…" Zaimokuza wanted to retort, but he came up with nothing. "I-I concede the point." Huh, that shut him up quickly. Maybe I should hang out with Kawa… something more.

…Ok, why do I have selective memory loss with her name? I have no idea how many times I've forgotten her name at this point. Someone's gotta be messing with my head.

Interestingly, Zaimokuza's "defense" of me seems to have thrown Miura off my tracks. I commend you for a job well done, Zaimokuza.

"That is way too serious in the wrong way…" Yuigahama comments, sweatdropping. She looks down for a moment, before she looks back up with a smile. "Wait just a minute." She stumbles away from the courts with a limp.

Shiromeguri tilted her head in confusion. "Why did Yuigahama-san leave like that?"

"Hehe, you'll see!" Yuigahama avoided answering the question with a smile.

"What's the problem, Yui?" Miura turns to Hachiman with a smirk. "Did you fight? Did she abandon you?"

Yuigahama's smile disappeared and she faced the blonde-haired girl with a frown. "You know I wouldn't abandon someone like that!"

Miura was taken aback slightly. "Yeah… I know that now." She smiled weakly. "Sorry for suggesting that, Yui."

Yuigahama seemed slightly taken aback by the statement, but then she smiled back. "That's good!"

Huh, I didn't expect that to go so smoothly. I guess the previous episode helped smooth out their kinks in their relationship?

"Don't be stupid. I've never been in a fight. I've never even had a friendship that was deep enough to fight." That causes Miura to grimace. "Self deprecating jokes really freak people out if they don't have some degree of familiarity."

"I mean, why wouldn't it?" Kawasaki questioned. "If someone that I only knew from class made that sort of joke to me, I'd be uncomfortable too."

Some of the audience nodded with her. "Yeah, it's not really my style either," Orimoto joined in. "I don't think I've ever heard anyone make those kinds of jokes to me before."

"It's kind of sad how senpai keeps pointing out his lack of friends," Isshiki commented as well. She turned to face me. "You should get some more material!"

"I told you, I stopped making those a while ago." Now my jokes are composed of… a lot of different things. I think. "Maybe you're the one who needs some new material?" Wait, why did I retort like that?

"Hehe, senpai. I already have better jokes than you'll ever have~!" Isshiki stuck her tongue out. "Come back when you have something original."

"..." Shit, I can't think of anything else to say right now. "Sure thing…"

Hachiman drops his racket, making shocked expressions appear on everyone's faces. He starts to sit down on the court. "Well, either way, guess it's time to grovel. When sucking up, throw away your pride first. That's my pride. I'll show you what happens when I get serious."

"W-Wait, you were serious?" Totsuka stammered with surprise. "I t-thought it was one of your jokes!"

Oh Totsuka, your faith in me is heartwarming. But unfortunately, I was 100% serious. I nodded at the silver haired guy.

Yukinoshita sighed. "Of course Hikigaya-kun would resort to such a thing. How disappointing of you."

"You know what happens when I get serious," I replied. There was the cultural festival, then there was Kyoto. Back then, my "serious side" was all about putting myself into a position where no one else had to get hurt. I thought that was the right path to go, but I've realized that I was very wrong. "But don't worry, I'm not going to grovel to anyone ever again." Well, unless some evil dictator takes over the planet and the only way I'll live is if I beg for my life. That oddly specific scenario is highly unlikely though.

Yukinoshita looked at me, then smiled. "That's good." Ack, that smile is too cute! I stared at her for a few moments, before I forcibly turned myself away. Almost lost myself there for a moment.

Behind me, Hiratsuka giggled. "Don't think I missed that, Hikigaya."

"Shut up…" Get yourself a boyfriend of your own already! Or a husband! And you can't ask me, I'm taken!

…Did I really just admit that? It's not like I'm wrong either…

As he is about to begin groveling, he glances out of the corner of his eye and stops moving.

"What's this ruckus?" It reveals Yukinoshita walking onto the court, with Yuigahama behind her. She is shown wearing the same pink tennis uniform that the pink-haired girl was wearing earlier.

I didn't pay attention to it at the time, but she seriously looks good in that. Look at-

Gah, get a grip on yourself Hachiman! Focus on the other things.

"What's that outfit?" Hachiman asks.

"I don't know. Yuigahama-san just asked me to put it on."

"She went to the tennis courts, even though she didn't know why?" Shiromeguri questioned.

Haruno giggled and wagged a finger. "Don't forget Meguri, sweet Yukino-chan was already on her way with the medical equipment!"

"Oh yeah!" She admittedly forgot about that. "Sorry Haru-san!"

"I didn't want us to lose like this, so I just wanted you to play for us," Yuigahama explained.

"Why me?"

"Because you're the only friend I can ask to do this, Yukinon."

For some reason, Hayama suddenly felt slightly guilty. I'm sorry I wasn't able to do better, Yukinoshita-san. But I'm glad that Yui was able to help you where I failed.

At the same time, Haruno glanced at the blonde-haired boy. He's probably feeling guilty right now. Ugh, how boring.

At the bottom row, Yukinoshita blushed slightly. "I-I thank you for that, Yuigahama-san."

"Of course Yukinon!" Yuigahama beamed. "Thanks for being there to help!"

Aw, how sweet. It's at times like these that I forget that Yukinoshita and Yuigahama aren't doing their own thing. Thank goodness they aren't though… but if they were, then I wouldn't stop them.

…What am I thinking right now?!

"Friend…?"

"Yeah, friend."

Yukinoshita seems to shrug it off and walks up to Totsuka with a box. "Take care of your injuries later. I couldn't find the school nurse, so it took longer than I thought."

"Thanks!" Totsuka smiles.

"You really are nice, Yukinon," Yuigahama comments.

"It seems a certain male has been calling me the 'ice queen' behind my back, though." That causes Hachiman to momentarily feel shocked.

"Eh? I don't remember Hikigaya saying that outloud?" Orimoto expressed her confusion. She tried to recall if Hachiman said anything about an 'ice queen', but she came up with nothing.

I nodded. "Even to this day, I'm still not sure how that happened." She clearly must have used her esper powers to do it.

Yukinoshita giggled. "It was very clear what you thought of me at the time. After all, plenty of others have called me an 'ice queen' behind my back."

"...So it was a guess?"

"No." She shook her head. "I was very confident that you were having those sorts of thoughts about me. It only seemed natural that someone like you would be thinking such things."

I want to say that was stupid, but she somehow nailed my thoughts down correctly. "I'm sort of terrified that you figured that out so early."

"Sometimes, you were an easy person to understand." Yukinoshita turned away from me, instead looking at the screen. "But… other times… you went beyond my expectations."

…I get it. I also looked back at the screen. I like to think of myself as an unpredictable person. I always get a small ego boost whenever I surprise someone.

"Not that I care what anyone thinks about me. So…" Yukinoshita briefly looks at Yuigahama, before she looks away with a light blush. "I don't mind if you call me a friend, either…"

"Yukinon!" Yuigahama hugs the raven haired girl with a joyous expression.

"Could you not cling like that? You're smothering me," she says as Hachiman stands up from the court. As he does, Miura walks up to the two girls.

"You're Yukinoshita-san, right? Sorry, but I can't go easy on anyone."

"...Didn't you two meet already in the previous episode?" Orimoto asked the girl next to her.

Miura nodded, clenching her fists slightly. "We did, but, like, I didn't want to remember it."

Haruno rolled her eyes. No surprises there.

Miura continued to speak. "But I guess there was no point, huh?" She glared at the raven haired girl, before focusing back on the screen.

Hayama glanced at her out of the corner of his eye in concern. It seems like she really doesn't like Yukinoshita. He grimaced for a half-second. And I know exactly why. But at this point, what could he do about it?

"Don't worry. I'll go easy on you. I'll crush that cheap pride of yours to dust," Yukinoshita says, making Miura angrier. "It looks like you've given my frie-" she pauses for a second, "...my club member a great deal of grief."

"Aww, look at you!" Haruno cooed. "You totally jumped at her offer of friendship!"

Yukinoshita blushed in embarrassment. "N-Nee-san, please do not embarrass me like that."

Honestly, I'm kind of surprised she backtracked like that. She was totally embarrassed earlier when she said she was fine with Yuigahama calling her a friend. I guess that's just typical Yukinoshita, denying the idea of friendship.

Near the back, Miura still had her fists clenched. Though, they loosened slightly when Haruno teased her younger sister. Even if I hate her, it doesn't, like, change that she is Yui's friend. She still wouldn't be nice to her if possible, but maybe she could stop arguing with her. They were pretty annoying arguments too, so ending those would improve her mood.

"Are you ready?" Yukinoshita continued. "Despite how I look, I'm the type to hold a grudge."

"That's exactly how you look," Hachiman thinks while gripping his tennis racket.

Yukinoshita's embarrassment faded as she turned to her partner. "Care to tell what you meant by that statement?"

Well, I have no defense. "You just seemed like someone who would hold a grudge." There, I said it flat out.

"Onii-chan, you can't say that!" Komachi shook her head. "Yuki-nee will think of you as a lower being!"

"No need to worry, Komachi," Yukinoshita winked. "I already consider him as being lower than most."

"Noo!" Komachi wailed. "Onii-chan, you need to fix this now!"

Your care for your brother is heartwarming, Komachi. But I'm not sure how I can improve the situation. So I simply shrugged and turned to face the screen again.

Yukinoshita giggled. "Even your brother has accepted his fate, Komachi."

Komachi sighed with disappointment. "I guess I'm not that surprised. Onii-chan is onii-chan, after all."

Oi, what's that supposed to mean?!

The camera pans over the group watching, before cutting to a shot of Miura and Yukinoshita on the court. Miura serves the ball to Yukinoshita, but she is able to return it. Miura runs for the ball, with Yukinoshita running back towards the center of the court. However, the blonde haired girl hits it back to where she was standing.

"A feint?!" Zaimokuza exclaims in shock.

Yukinoshita is able to stop herself and switch directions, before hitting the ball into a spot where Miura can't reach it.

Much of the audience blinked in surprise. Even I was impressed, and I was literally playing in the tennis match! I guess these camera angles really made the moment that much cooler, huh?

…Say, how did they get those angles in the first place?

"Dude, I was there, but even that shocked me!" Tobe exclaimed, echoing Hachiman's thoughts. "That was super cool!"

"How were you able to keep up with Yumiko like that, Yukinon?" Yuigahama asked her friend. "She's super good at tennis!"

"I had gained some practice when I was younger," Yukinoshita explained. "Not to mention, my class had been playing tennis during physical education class. There, I was able to improve my skills."

"Wow!" Yuigahama had stars in her eyes. "That's super cool!"

But all she did was practice? I'm not sure what makes that "super cool". Then again, Yuigahama is the type of person who'd find that kind of thing cool.

"I can't believe you were able to return that…" Hachiman comments.

"Well, she was making the same face as the girls in my class who picked on me. I can easily discern what such lowlifes are thinking," Yukinoshita explains, before she serves the ball and hits it right past Miura.

Miura clenched her fists more tightly. You…! She forced herself to breathe deeply, gradually unclenching her fists. Yukinoshita-san's words really piss me off. But she might be right, to an extent. She recalled wanting to crush Yukinoshita during that tennis match. Most of it was likely because of her competitive nature, but a small part of her had an ulterior motive.

Maybe it, like, showed in my expression? And maybe it threw her off her game slightly. That didn't change the fact that she lost, she knew that. But if they played again, Miura was reasonably confident she could win. Actually, I would have won if Hikio didn't do those weird plays! Yukinoshita was low on stamina at that point, so her path to victory was there.

Throughout Miura's whole monologue, Orimoto had been glancing at her worriedly. She had honestly expected another argument to break out. The fact that didn't happen surprised her. I don't like seeing those two argue. I'm glad that they didn't this time!

Several shots of Yukinoshita, Miura, and Hayama hitting the ball are shown. All of the watchers seem tense watching them play it out. It cuts to show a ball barely landing inbounds. "Game!" Totsuka shouts out.

Zaimokuza laughs and makes exaggerated arm movements. "Our forces are overwhelming! Mow them down!"

"You're awesome, Yukinon!" Yuigahama exclaims.

"No offense, onii-chan, but it doesn't seem like you're doing anything," Komachi noted. "Did Yuki-nee seriously carry you for the whole match?"

"Oi! I hit a few balls…" Truthfully though, I really didn't do a lot for the majority of the match. I was kind of just there, hitting the occasional ball. Kind of disappointed the screen did not show any of that though. It better show the moment of victory!

"Sadly, up to this point, Hachiman was not contributing very much to the progress of the superior side." Zaimokuza sagely explained, before his eyes gained a glint. "However, that shall change soon!"

Komachi raised an eyebrow. "What does he mean by that?"

I chuckled. "You'll see." I'm not going to spoil it for you! That would just get rid of the little fun that I can get out of this.

"Actually, I'm mildly curious what went through your head at that moment," Yukinoshita commented, placing a finger on her chin. "Even to this day, I have no idea what made you think of that."

"What does she mean?!" Komachi wasn't liking the vagueness of how they were describing this "moment" that her brother did. "Yui, please tell me!"

"Hehe, sorry Komachi!" Yuigahama giggled. "If they want to keep it a secret, then you'll have to wait and see!"

"Meanies!" Komachi pouted, before she crossed her arms and turned away. "Fine… I'll wait to see!"

I chuckled at her behavior. Hopefully the moment lives up to her expectations.

Isshiki was also curious about the moment, but all of her protests were voiced by Komachi, so she knew they wouldn't have said anything about it. Besides, they were probably about to see it themselves.

Yukinoshita throws the ball up for a serve while jumping at the same time. "A jumping serve?" Hachiman observes. The tennis ball barely lands in-bounds and imbeds itself into the fence slightly.

"Wow! She can hit hard!" Shiromeguri exclaimed. Yukinoshita's unexpected tennis skills were a treat to watch! Which made her curious… "Haru-san, did you ever play tennis?"

"Haha, not really," Haruno waved her off. "I played a little bit when I was younger, but it's been so long since then that I barely remember how to play the sport!"

Shiromeguri giggled. "I'm sure if you practiced, you'd be super good at it!"

"Maybe~." She didn't doubt her seatmate's words, but sports weren't really her thing. Not to mention, if she did such a thing, it was very possible her sister would have tried to follow her footsteps.

"You really are unbelievable," Hachiman comments. "Keep that up and finish this for us."

"I'd love to do that if I could, but that's asking too much," Yukinoshita frowns. "The one thing I lack confidence in is my stamina."

If there was a pervert in here, I know they would have made some sort of sex joke, before being utterly beaten by whoever is nearby. That's how those things go, right?

…I'm not counting Ebina. She's only into yaoi. So she basically ignores anything that other girls say. For the most part, of course.

As for Tobe? He wouldn't say those kinds of things out loud. He knows the risk to his health is too high for him to risk such a thing. Well, I hope he knows.

…What if I'm the only one who's thinking that. Does that make me a pervert?! Crap, I take back my thoughts!

"Y-You don't have good stamina, Yukinoshita-san?" Totsuka asked with surprise. "I could help you out if you want!"

Yukinoshita shook her head. "Thank you for the offer, Totsuka-san, but it is not necessary."

"O-Okay, that's fine!"

Frankly, I would have taken that offer, but maybe only because it's Totsuka doing it. Discounting the thoughts that I used to have with him (that I stopped like 10 minutes ago), he probably knows a lot of good exercises for improving stamina.

…Though, I fear for the possibility that he'd just have me do the same thing Yukinoshita did to him. I quickly discounted it though. There was no way he would do such a sadistic thing.

As the two talk, Miura hits a tennis ball next to Yukinoshita and gains a point. "Deuce!"

"I heard that," she says with a smirk. "You came in out of nowhere, but I think you're finished now."

"Apparently not~." Haruno teased. Miura turned to momentarily glare at the older women, before facing the screen again. To her mild surprise, she didn't respond verbally. Hm, that's unexpected.

"Well, both teams did their best," Hayama pipes in. "Can't we call it a draw?"

Hiratsuka shook her head. "A draw would just be unsatisfying for both sides."

Miura nodded. "I'll never, like, leave a tennis match unfinished!" Like her sensei said, it would have left her unsatisfied. It would have felt like she accomplished nothing.

I wouldn't have cared if we ended with a draw, but having that win did feel pretty good, so I'm glad that we kept playing.

Ebina sighed. I sort of wish they ended it there, as Yumiko nearly hurt herself. But, well, I guess it made the clique just a little more united.

"Hayato! What are you saying? This is a match. We have to finish it for real!" Miura exclaimed.

Yukinoshita points her racket to Hachiman. "He will be the one to finish this. Just give in and lose." Hachiman looks at her with surprise. "I may say very rash and improper things, but I have never told a lie."

Komachi glanced at the raven haired girl with surprise. "Yuki-nee was that confident in onii-chan?"

"Apparently so." I guess she knew I would pull something out of my ass. I don't think she expected the route I chose though.

Haruno giggled. "My my~." I didn't think Yukino-chan would have so much confidence in him. Now I'm quite curious how Hikigaya-kun pulled off the victory. Hehe~.

From what Orimoto had seen so far, Yukinoshita wasn't someone who made those kinds of claims about others. Seeing that she was saying such a thing surprised her. Well, there has to be a reason the two are basically dating, right?

A tennis ball rolls up to Hachiman's shoe as he looks up towards the sky. Then it shows him bouncing the ball in order to get ready to serve. "Lunch break will be over soon. Normally, I'd be finishing lunch in my best place right now."

"Wait…" Komachi narrowed her eyes. "I feel like that's important…"

Miura widened her eyes as she recalled an obscure statement from earlier in the episode. "So that's how you did it, Hikio!"

Hayama also remembered that scene. "Now it makes sense," he said with a smile.

"Huh? What did Hikitani do?" Tobe was confused at what his two friends meant. Sure, he was at the tennis match, but he sort of forgot how it ended. All he remembered was Miura almost running into the fence wall and Hayama diving after her.

Kawasaki was also confused, but unlike Tobe, she wasn't at the tennis courts. All of this hype about Hikigaya… What did he do?

The wind blows his hair slightly and he smirks as he throws the ball up and swings at an angle. The ball flies straight up into the sky.

"All right!" Miura exclaims as Hayama goes for the ball.

"Eh?" Komachi let out a sound of puzzlement. "That serve was weak, onii-chan…"

"Just wait and see," I replied. After all, the serve was supposed to be weak like that.

"Miura, you don't know about the unique sea breeze that only blows here, in the early afternoon." The ball falls down before bouncing on the ground wildly, forcing Hayama to change directions. "Hayama, you don't know that this breeze doesn't blow only once." He stops moving, as the ball goes over him.

It shows Hachiman's neutral face. "Only I, the one who sits over there alone, never speaking to anyone, can hit my magic ball." Hayama ultimately fails to hit the ball.

"...What… was that?" Kawasaki said with surprise. That ball had bounced so weirdly that she couldn't understand it.

"That, right there, was my magic ball," I said, repeating the words from the screen.

"...So you just abused the wind?" Komachi asked with slight disappointment. "I thought it would be much cooler…"

"Oi! Negative points!" How dare you call my magic ball lame?!

Miura, on the other hand, was grudgingly impressed. There was no way the ball had any spin to it, so she assumed Hachiman simply hit the ball and got lucky with the wind. She didn't realize that he had predicted the wind beforehand. That's pretty smart, Hikio.

"So you had predicted that the wind would arrive at that moment," Yukinoshita mused. "Thus, you hit the ball high enough so that the wind would affect it more. For you, Hikigaya-kun, that is pretty impressive."

"Even Yukinoshita is complimenting my hit!" I still had my attention focused on Komachi. "Your brother is disappointed in your lack of support."

Komachi stuck her tongue out. I see you're quite stubborn about this. How disappointing.

"Match point!" Totsuka shouts out.

Zaimokuza speaks up with pride. "Now that you mention it, I've heard of the legendary ability to manipulate the wind like that, The Wind Successor: Eluen Silpheed!"

"The… what now?" Kawasaki asked dumbly.

"You heard me!" Zaimokuza said with pride. "It was an honor to see such an ability in person!"

Ok, he's just saying stupid things now. "What kind of stupid name is the 'Eluen Silpheed?'" I couldn't help but ask.

Zaimokuza chuckled creepily. "Heh heh, even you do not understand your own ability. A surprise coming from you, Hachiman, but-"

"Yeah yeah, whatever." I had a feeling he'd act like this, but it was worth a try anyways. I had to interrupt him before he could go into too much detail. I continued to face the screen. "We can talk about it later."

"I don't believe it," Miura says with a slight hint of anger.

Hayama walks up to the net to give Hachiman the ball back. "You got me. That really was a magic ball."

"Y-Yeah! It was impressive, Hachiman!" Totsuka praised. "Using the wind like that is a smart move in tennis!"

"I didn't totally get it back then, but it makes sense now!" Yuigahama exclaimed. "So, good job Hikki!"

"Thanks, you two," I said with a small smile. It feels good to see your skills get recognized for once.

"How many people did you play baseball with as a kid?" Hachiman asked.

"What does that, like, have to do with anything?" Miura asked with a raised eyebrow. She didn't hear this part of their conversation.

"It's gonna be another monologue, I bet!" Isshiki predicted. Oi… you're probably not wrong, dang it!

"Huh? Well, eighteen is normal, right?"

"True. But I usually played alone," Hachiman says with a smirk, before walking back to his end of the court.

"You really liked pushing the idea of being alone, didn't you?" Hiratsuka shook her head. "If I hear you say something like that today, you won't like what'll happen next."

"Aye aye." Jeez, stop being so scary sensei. This is why you- andddd gonna stop that line of thought. That would just cause me to get punished terribly.

"That's right. I've gotten through everything alone. While all of you were arguing and consoling each other, I was taking on everything head-on, alone." Hachiman serves the ball again. "What do you think of this strength?"

"Damn you, youth!" He swings his racquet like a baseball bat and strikes the tennis ball with the side of the racquet. It shoots straight up into the sky.

"W-What?" Kawasaki once again expressed utter confusion. "Why did he hit it like that?"

"Hikitani-kun must be a bit crazy!" Ebina exclaimed. "Though, I'm kind of impressed he hit that on his first try."

"Hikitani-kun is pretty good at sports, I guess!" Tobe blurted out. "I wonder if he'd be good at soccer!"

Miura's eyebrow twitched at the events on-screen. I nearly hurt myself trying to, like, get that ball! But… She smiled softly. Hayama was able to stop me before things got too bad. So I guess it wasn't all bad.

Orimoto giggled to herself. Who thought Hikigaya would be so funny! Shouting out 'Damn you youth' like that while hitting the racquet like a baseball bat, it's just too funny!

"There goes senpai saying weird things again…" Isshiki deadpanned.

"Oi, that was unnecessary," I retorted. "Keep your insults to yourself."

"Hmm, no~." Isshiki stuck her tongue at me. I half-expected that answer, but my ego is still disappoined.

"That's the God of Destruction in the Sky: Meteor Strike!" Zaimokuza exclaims with shock.

"At least that name makes sense…" I mumbled. Better than whatever "Eluen Silpheed" means.

"How high did that ball go?" Shiromeguri watched the screen with wonder. "It seems like it'll land out of bounds!"

Haruno giggled. "That would be pretty disappointing, wouldn't it? All of that work just to fail on a serve like that!"

"I-I mean…" Totsuka had overheard the two girls. "He has another serve, since it's his first serve!"

Miura nodded. "He probably wouldn't have, like, done a stupid serve like that again, but he did have another chance."

While I might have had another server, it would have been really embarrassing. Shouting "Damn you youth!" only to miss the serve would have seriously made me look weird. It's a good thing I didn't do that.

"Meteor Strike…" The people watching the game mumble out.

"It's not that big of a deal. Just a pop up." The camera shows the tennis ball moving in an arc towards the other side. "This allows me to throw, hit, and catch the ball by myself."

Komachi glanced at her brother in the corner of her eye. Onii-chan… I could have played with you…

"But Hikki, you hit a pop up with a tennis racquet!" Yuigahama exclaimed. "That's, like, super impressive!"

Yukinoshita nodded. "Normally, I would disagree with Yuigahama here-"

"That's mean, Yukinon!"

"...but you managed it while hitting the ball with the side of your racquet. It is difficult to hit the ball in any meaningful way like how you did, so consider myself impressed," The raven haired girl finished with a smirk.

I rubbed the back of my head. "Well, uh, thanks." She's not wrong about the tennis racquet thing, but it really seemed easy at the time.

"Wh-What is that?" Miura asks with surprise as the ball strikes the ground, still in-bounds, before it rebounds up again.

"It landed in-bounds?" Shiromeguri said with surprise. "I really thought that was going to be out of bounds!"

"Hikitani-kun is pretty good at this!" Tobe exclaimed. "But wait…" he suddenly remembered what happened next.

"Yumiko! Back!" Hayama shouts. But Miura tries to run for the ball with Yukinoshita looking in shock, before it shows Miura dropping the racket and the fence rattling. The ball bounces out of the court and reveals that Hayama caught Miura before she ran into the fence.

Miura blushed at the position the two were in, but she didn't say a word. Next to her, Hayama was just relieved that he stopped her from getting hurt. For a moment, he felt a little angry at Hachiman, but quickly tampered it down. It wasn't like he intended on that ball bouncing that far. Nor did he think that Miura would go for it.

"Oh my!" Shiromeguri gasped. "Were you okay, Miura-san?!"

Miura jumped in surprise, before nodding her head. "Y-Yeah, I didn't have any injuries." She didn't really expect anyone to ask her about that. She turned to her crush and smiled. "Thanks Hayato!"

For some reason, I felt a surge of anger well up in me. It was so obvious that Miura had a thing for Hayama, yet he never did anything about it. Not only that, but Miura has never confessed to him either, despite holding feelings for who knows how long at this point. I get why they haven't done anything about it, but it still irritates me.

I took a glance at the two girls sitting to my left. Not too long ago, I was afraid of changing the status quo. It wasn't something I thought that I'd be afraid of, but alas, it turned out I was pathetic. But we were able to struggle past that. And now, here we are. I smiled to myself for a split second.

I just wonder… can the clique find something genuine, like we did?

"Game!"

"Hayato! Hayato! Hayato!" The crowd cheers as Miura looks at Hayama with a smile.

"Hayato! Hayato! Hayato!" Tobe cheered on with the crowd on-screen. Hayama chuckled and rubbed the back of his head while Miura held a smile on her face.

Kawasaki, on the other hand, was slightly miffed. "Didn't those two lose the match?"

"Indeed, they did!" Zaimokuza triumphantly declared. "Their loss proves that the elites can be defeated!"

"...So why is everyone cheering for Hayama?"

Hiratsuka laughed. "With the way the match ended with Hayama stopping Miura from hurting herself, it shouldn't be a surprise. They might have lost the game, but they basically won the match."

"What the hell?" Hachiman wonders.

"We won the game, but lost the match, I suppose," Yukinoshita observes.

"Hikki won, and they still ignore him. I feel so bad for him," Yuigahama says.

Yukinoshita nodded. "Indeed. Hayama-kun and Miura-san effectively won the hearts and minds of the crowd. Thus, in the end, they came out with a greater sense of victory."

"That's… stupid." Kawasaki was annoyed and unsatisfied with how it ended. Most of the other students were stupid like that though, so it wasn't too much of a surprise.

"It is what it is." Hiratsuka was admittedly disappointed to see Hachiman lose out on sme recognition, but she knew he wasn't the kind to care about such a thing anyways.

Haruno sighed. It's a shame. I would have loved to have seen Hikigaya-kun's reaction to being praised. I'm sure he wouldn't know what to do! Oh well, maybe I'll get my chance later!

Hachiman leans back on the bench as Yukinoshita and Yuigahama walk out of the court. "Yukinon!" Yuigahama exclaims, hugging her as they walk.

"Sorry, but could you get off? You're smothering me."

"Hehe, Yui is pretty attached to Yukinoshita-san," Ebina commented with a giggle. That caused Kawasaki to glare at her. "O-Oi, stop saki-saki! I wasn't gonna say anything!"

"Hmm…" Kawasaki was a bit suspicious of her. Then again, it wasn't yaoi specifically, so Ebina probably wasn't lying. "Whatever you say."

As the two walk off, Totsuka walks up to Hachiman. "Hikigaya-kun, um… Thank you." He smiles and sparkles appear around him.

"What kind of rom-com development is this?!" It shows Hachiman with a smile. "Girls with girls, guys with guys… Are all the rom-com gods idiots?"

Before Ebina could say anything, Kawasaki glared at her. "Don't. Say. A. Word."

Ebina jumped back. "Saki-saki is so scary! I wasn't going to say anything!"

"I don't believe you."

"B-But Saki-saki!"

While those two were arguing, I felt two scary presences to my left. I nervously glanced that way to see Yukinoshita and Yuigahama glaring at me.

"Hikicreepy-kun, do you mind explaining yourself?"

"Hikki, you're being creepy!"

The two girls said one after another. What should I do?!

"Onii-chan…" To my right, Komachi said in a disappointed tone. Not you too! Help! I'm surrounded! Shit, what move should I pull?

"Look, we already went over this," I tried. "Let's ignore my monologue and move on!"

"Oh, I'm afraid I cannot allow that," Yukinoshita retorted with a scary smile. "After all, you did say something unsettling about Yuigahama and I's relationship."

Shit, I've woken a beast! I panickedly turned to my sister, forgetting that she was also acting scary just a second ago. "Help me!"

"Hohoho, I think Yuki-nee is spot on." Komachi darkly laughed. "I have no complaints about what will happen next."

This is bad! Real bad! I was half tempted to jump out of my seat, but the idea disappeared as quickly as it came. I don't think that would help me out in the long-term.

As a second-to-last resort, I turned around to face Zaimokuza. "A-Any advice…?" I weakly asked.

"Ah…" Zaimokuza had seen the entire thing unfold and was utterly terrified. "I-I am unfortunately out of ideas."

Well, shit. Final resort. "It was just a joke!"

"Irrelevant." Immediately rejected?! Wait, I have one final idea!

"Ok, what will it take for you to do absolutely nothing to me?" Bargaining! Maybe with this, I can save myself!

"Hmm." Yukinoshita thought about it for a moment. "Perhaps you can…" She suddenly went silent.

"Hm?" Why did she trail off? As if my thoughts were heard, I saw a blush gradually appear on her face. Uhh… what?

"Yukinon! Don't fall now!" Yuigahama cried out. But it was too late for her to do anything.

"N-Never mind," Yukinoshita stammered out. Is she ok? Well, either way, my call for negotiations worked. I still don't know how that worked, but I'm not going to complain.

"I didn't do anything. You should be thanking them," Hachiman says as the camera pans up towards the sky.

Hiratsuka chuckled. "Typical Hikigaya, trying to act cool."

"Shut up…" I used to say that a lot, insisting that I didn't do anything. I don't think I've said anything like that in a while though.

The scene suddenly changes to the front of the service club, before it shows Hachiman opening the door.

Wait… something's tingling in the back of my mind. Something about this is off…

Yuigahama and Yukinoshita (who was still blushing) also had the same feeling.

"Hey, Totsuka says-" He cuts himself off as it shows Yuigahama and Yukinoshita changing their clothes.

"EEEHHHHHHH?!" Komachi's previous disappointment with her brother quickly disappeared. "Onii-chan?!"

I felt my face rapidly burn up. I don't even remember this! My brain must have removed this from my memory somehow! The screen didn't even show that much, but it's still incredibly embarrassing!

The two girls who were the victims of Hachiman's unexpected barging both quickly resembled a tomato. Especially Yukinoshita, who had already been thinking about something questionable.

The other girls (with the exception of Haruno and Ebina) also held blushes, though they were not as red as Yukinoshita and Yuigahama.

"D-Disgusting!" Miura covered her chest. "If Hikio looked at me during that, he'd be dead!"

"I-I'm sure H-Hikigaya-kun didn't mean it!" Shiromeguri surprisingly came to my defense, though she also held a blush like the others.

Zaimokuza was shaking his fists. "H-Hachiman, you… traitor!" He truly wasn't expecting the walking into a half-naked girl cliche at this point! "How dare you do this with no warning!"

Kawasaki didn't say a word, but she was blushing as well. I never knew he already saw so much of those two… She also felt a pang of jealousy as well, though it went ignored.

"Senpai is such a pervert~!" Isshiki said in a teasing tone. Though, her face was also red. Not because of seeing the two girls like that, but for a brief moment, she imagined herself in that position. She didn't entirely hate the idea…

Throughout the sudden chaos in the theater, Haruno was laughing to herself. Hahahaha! He's already seen you like that, Yukino-chan! I never expected that this happened so early!

A brush erupts on his face and he averts his gaze. "Seriously! Die!" Yuigahama cries out, before a racket is thrown at him and he falls onto the floor, somehow causing the door to close as well. It then shows Totsuka looking down at him on the floor.

Hiratsuka, who had been silently laughing to herself at this point, looked at Hachiman concernedly. "Yikes, that looks like it hurt."

"I genuinely don't remember this at all…" I mumbled, ignoring Hiratsuka's statement. That tennis racquet from Yuigahama must have damaged something in my head.

"Of course. Now this is how a youth rom-com should be. Well played, gods of rom-com." He gives a final smirk, before he goes unconscious.

"Hikigaya-kun, are you okay?" Totsuka asks.

3. Sometimes, the Gods of Rom-Coms Do Nice Things.

ENDING PLAYS

"So… that's t-the episode?" Totsuka said awkwardly.

"Indeed. However, it appears that the others are in a bit of disarray," Zaimokuza observed, referring to the service club's current state. Well, mostly Yukinoshita and Yuigahama's state. Hachiman was mostly fine.

"Mhm." Hiratsuka nodded. "We'll let them sort out their problems-"

Attention everyone.

The voice's voice (lol) suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Its presence snapped Yukinoshita and Yuigahama out of their stupor. I narrowed my eyes immediately once the voice spoke.

"Ugh. This thing again." Miura complained. "Like, why don't you just leave us alone?"

I'm afraid that's not an option.

"Of course." Miura rolled her eyes. "You did, like, kidnap us out of nowhere. I bet you want to check up on us all of the time."

"Yeah dude! Not cool!" Tobe shouted.

My eyes narrowed even further. Compared to the previous times the voice appeared, it sounded… more exhausted.

"Oi, voice," I spoke up. "Why do you sound so much more tired than normal?" That caused the others in the theater to realize the difference in its voice.

"Hikigaya-kun brings up a good point," Yukinoshita said with a finger on her chin. "Unless your claim is wrong, this being is on the level of a god, so why would it be exhausted?"

Hahaha! Typical Hachiman Hikigaya. I'm not surprised you were able to notice it. Though, it might have been obvious.

Yeah, I can definitely tell now. It's actually kind of unsettling not hearing the usual cheer in the voice. Shit, am I actually starting to miss the old voice?

I can't say much, but let's just say that your arrival here has led to some… problems. So, for the time being, you're all taking a break.

The screen suddenly went black, before it displayed a simple message in white text: "Currently in break mode."

Go talk amongst yourselves, or go back into your rooms. It'll be sometime before the next episode plays. Understood?

I was tempted to remark something, but the tone of voice kind of freaked me out. So I went with the safer option. "Sure."

Suddenly, I felt a sort of presence lift off me. I didn't even notice it was there until it disappeared. I wonder what that was about.

Have fun. And don't be surprised by anything that happens.

And with those final words, the voice disappeared.

"Well, I'm gonna, like, go back to my room," Miura declared as she stood up. Her declaration spurred the rest of the theater to do the same. Well, except me for the moment. I stayed in my seat for a bit, just thinking.

How could a being that was able to teleport us and our rooms be struggling with something? Typically, that means another god, or something on a similar level. That doesn't really make sense to me though. Why would another god care about us?

Another possibility is that taking us away from our homes caused a sort of "reality distortion" that's causing our homes to get screwed up. Therefore, the voice is tired because it's trying to make sure our own reality doesn't collapse.

…Ok, that one is a bit outlandish. Curse you anime and manga for making me think of these stupid scenarios.

Well, I guess we'll find out whenever we do. It's not like I can do anything about it. I finally stood up from my seat and walked up the steps to the area with our rooms. I looked back at the screen for a moment, before joining up with the others.

Chapter Text

Watching My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Terrible, As Expected

Interlude 01

[Rewritten on July 12, 2025]

After we left our seats, we found ourselves standing in front of the doors to our rooms. I was half-surprised to see all sixteen doors still in place. Considering how the voice was acting previously, I was prepared to see a door missing that just happened to belong to me.

…Though, the voice's strange demeanor at the end of the last episode concerned me.

"So, like, what now?" Miura asked the group.

Hayama was the first to reply. "Perhaps we should discuss what we have seen so far?"

Uh, I'd rather not hear you all discuss my personal matters. How about we all sit in our rooms and do typical third-year high schooler things! That sounds much better, doesn't it?

"Um…" Totsuka spoke up. "I feel kind of weird just talking about Hachiman like that…"

Yes! Thank you Totsuka! I could just… do normal things with you!

"I am inclined to agree," Yukinoshita added. She glanced at me, which I caught in the corner of my eye.

"Yeah," Yuigahama joined in. "Unless Hikki, like, wanted us to talk about it, I don't think it's right to talk about that kind of thing.

…Thanks for being so thoughtful, guys. I'm serious.

"I understand," Hayama said with a nod. "Then perhaps we should split up into our own groups?"

"That works for me," I replied before anyone else tried to suggest something different. I wasn't sure anyone would, but better safe than sorry.

Hayama smiled. "Any objections?"

Thankfully, no one objected. Which was somewhat surprising, because I fully expected Haruno to say something. When I glanced at her, she was already looking at me. She winked at me, but didn't say a word. Oi, what's that supposed to mean?

When no else one spoke, people started splitting into their own groups. Hayama's clique gathered together, minus Yuigahama and plus Kawasomething. Er wait, she's just being dragged by Ebina again. Still counts!

Oh wait, I forgot about Orimoto. She joined the group as well. Hmm, it sounds like they are talking about stuff not related to my room. Small blessings, I suppose.

I shifted my eyes over to Shiromeguri, who walked over to Hiratsuka and started speaking to her, before Haruno joined in. Hopefully that'll keep the older Yukinoshita busy.

Zaimokuza and Totsuka seemed to keep to themselves. Then they locked eyes with me. They seemed interested in talking, but I shook my head. I wasn't in the mood right now. I might have been hiding it well to even myself, but I could feel my mind slowly fully comprehending everything that happened.

What did that mean? No idea, but I wanted to be alone when I found out.

Once I was sure I was in the clear, I immediately turned around and walked towards my room.

(Un)fortunately, my adorable little sister (read: villainous) decided to follow me. "Onii-chan, you just don't want to talk to anyone!"

"What? Nooo…" I weakly denied. "Me? Avoiding people? That's really out of character!"

Komachi deadpanned. "Ha ha. Very funny." She suddenly grabbed my arm. "Now come on, you need to talk to Yuki-nee!"

Oi, wait! Quit trying to set up romcom moments! I just want to be alone! I seriously need to comprehend what happened over the past three episodes. Can't really do that with you dragging me!

"Oi, seriously Komachi-" I spoke up while being dragged by my sister. Unfortunately, I was too slow.

"Yuki-nee! Here's your boyfriend!" Komachi let go of my arm, only to suddenly appear behind me.

Yukinoshita, who was about to enter her room, turned to the two of us with confusion. "Huh-?"

"Don't be too loud!" My sister pushed me towards the raven haired girl, before running off.

In a typical romcom situation, this would have resulted in me losing my balance and falling onto Yukinoshita, leading to terrible things happening to me. Thankfully, this theater was romcom free (I think). As a result, I simply caught myself before I could fall.

"...Yo," I awkwardly greeted her, my hands in my pockets. I pretended that I didn't hear Komachi call me Yukinoshita's boyfriend. And it seemed like she was ignoring it as well.

"...Did your sister force you to come over here?"

"You got that right." At least it's Yukinoshita. She'd understand if I went to my room right now, right?

Yukinoshita giggled. "Typical Hikigaya-kun. I assume you wished to be alone?"

"Right in one," I replied with a smirk. Then, I gathered my courage and looked her in the eyes. "Look, nothing against you or anyone else, but I'm heading back to my room. I just need to fully comprehend…" I waved my hands around me. "All of this."

Yukinoshita's eyes widened for a moment. Then she nodded. "Right. I, um, am still struggling to… understand it myself."

"I mean, who isn't?" I remarked. "How often does a sadist god take everyone from their homes and puts them into a movie theater?"

"...While that is outlandish enough," Yukinoshita commented. "I was more so referring to you and your… thoughts."

"Oh. Right." To everyone in the theater, my brain's an enigma. Especially to Haruno, that devil woman's probably lapping this all up. I rubbed my head. "That's been tough."

Yukinoshita seemed to be in thought for a moment. She looked all around her, before looking at me again. Huh, why does she have a mild flush? "W-Well, it may be… inappropriate for me to ask, but, um." She squeezed her eyes. "C-C-Could I-"

"Yahallo!" A wild Yuigahama has suddenly appeared! Wait, where the hell did you come from?!

The pink haired girl leaped to hug Yukinoshita, who's eyes opened in shock. Her face was still flushed, though it was fading quickly. What did she want to ask me, and why was it so embarrassing for her? Also, can I see her embarrassed face again?

"Y-Yuigahama-san, p-please don't startle me like that," Yukinoshita (cutely) stammered out.

"I just wanted to hug my good friend!" Yuigahama grinned.

Well, you two have fun with that. The longer I stand here, the less likely I'll be able to get to my room. Better get out of here quick-

"Yahallo!" Something suddenly hugged my arm. Who goes there?!

I turned to see who it was, only to see a certain kouhai of mine. "What are you doing, Isshiki?" I asked with a deadpan tone. And don't steal Yuigahama's catchphrase!

"Wellllll~, I saw Yui hugging Yukino and I didn't want you feeling left out!"

"I'm feeling more 'left in', if you ask me."

"Oi, you're supposed to say thank you!" Isshiki pouted. Like I'd do that…

Suddenly, I felt… an ominous feeling. I turned to look at Yukinoshita and Yuigahama to see both of them glaring at Isshiki. Er, wait, it's mostly Yukinoshita. Yuigahama's face looks like she wants to glare, yet something's stopping her.

"Isshiki-san, I would appreciate it if you were not so… touchy-feely with my partner." The raven haired girl cooly spoke.

Oh, she's jealous. That's actually really cute. It's a rare sight, but it's always a blessing to the eyes. Thank you for your generosity, Yukinoshita-sama!

Had it been anyone else, Isshiki might have been tempted to disobey the order. But she's already witnessed the blizzard of an angry Yukinoshita. She was many things, but a stupid girl was not one of them.

"Okay!" Isshiki let go of my arm, only to move towards the raven-haired girl. "How about I hug you instead?"

Yukinoshita's cold glare suddenly vanished. "U-Um, no." Then, for some reason, I saw her eyes briefly glance at me. Are you trying to send me a message?

…Oh. I'd be too embarrassed to even attempt that. Isshiki leveled up her social points enough that she can do it without issue. Not me.

"Oh~? Someone doesn't sound convinced~." Isshi- wait, that's not her? An older woman suddenly appeared in the corner of my eye.

"Nee-san, please do not accuse me of such ideas," Yukinoshita glared at her older sister.

Haruno only giggled. "I'm just teasing~." She turned to face me. "Hi Hikigaya-kun!"

I sighed. "Yo." Weren't you talking with Hiratsuka and Shiromeguri?

"What brings you here, Haruno?" Yuigahama asked, still hugging Yukinoshita. She looked at the older sister with… a strange look. Oh yeah, have they even had a normal conversation together?

"Ah~, I was just wondering how Hikigaya-kun was feeling!" She giggled. "After all, we're all seeing his deepest and darkest secrets!"

"...It kinda bothers me how excited you sound saying that," Yuigahama remarked with an uncomfortable look.

"...Yeah, what she said," Isshiki responded with a strange look. Wow, I wasn't expecting them to say that. I… actually really do appreciate that. Though, you all have the wrong idea about her. Sorta.

She's definitely really interested in my thoughts. No denying that. But it's not malicious. And while she's extremely scary and makes me want to stay away from her forever, I know that, to some level, she cares about me. Though, how much she cared, I didn't know.

"It's. Y'know," I replied noncommittally to Haruno.

Haruno looked at me with a grin. Then, to my surprise, she shrugged. "Ah~, I suppose that's fine. Your nee-chan understands!"

""Ehh…?"" Yuigahama and Isshiki let out a surprised noise. I'm in the same boat. Did she, for once in her life, stay away from a topic I didn't want to talk about? Well, perfect chance to change the subject.

"You'll never catch me calling you 'nee-chan,'" I replied.

"Oh boo~!" Haruno pouted. "I'll get you to say it someday!"

Ha. "In your dreams," I said with a snort. I turned to the other girls and waved a hand. "Anyways, I'm off. See you in a few hours. Probably."

"Eh?! Where are you going, senpai?!" Isshiki exclaimed with a surprised look.

"To my room," I replied as I started walking. "And no, you can't see it."

Isshiki pouted. "Why not?"

"Because, and this may shock you, I'd like to be alone for a bit."

Yuigahama gasped. "Hikki wants to be alone?! Oh the horror!"

Ha, I didn't know you became a jokester. I appreciate the humor, at least. Your kindness truly has no bounds! I continued to "discreetly" move further away, though I saw Haruno keep her eyes on me. Oi, don't say anything, okay?

Isshiki looked at the two girls with suspicion. "Wait… have you two seen his room?"

Yukinoshita and Yuigahama glanced at each other.

"...Yes," the former replied.

"I have," the latter replied.

"What?!" Isshiki exclaimed in shock. She whirled to face me. She failed to notice that I had moved further away since she last looked at me. "Why was I left out?!"

Before I could reply, Haruno jumped in. "Ooh, maybe I should sneak a peek myself!"

"No," I firmly said. Haruno seeing my room was an absolute no go. It's only reserved for Hikigaya eyes! And people whose first and last names start with a Y.

The older Yukinoshita pouted. "Meanie Hikigaya-kun! Oh well, I wanted to go bother Shizuka a little more. Maybe even Hayato-kun too! Have fun being lame~!" As quickly as she arrived, she departed. Huh, that was really sudden. As soon as I shot her down, she immediately left? That felt weird.

"...That was weird," Yuigahama observed. Quit copying my thoughts!

Yukinoshita nodded. "Nee-san usually prefers to tease Hikigaya-kun and I more. Though, considering our circumstances, I am not too surprised."

"I dunno Yukinoshita-san that well, but that sounds right…" Isshiki commented.

I nodded. Like I said, Haruno cares about me to some extent. So when I'm under a significant amount of stress from everyone seeing my thoughts and actions, she can sense that. At least, that's what I think it is. She's a scary woman though, so she might have some evil plan cooked up for me.

"Anyways, I'm off to my room now," I said for the second time. I turned around and walked towards my room. I better not be interrupted again.

Isshiki was surprised. "Ah?! Wait-" She moved to grab my arm-

"Let him be," Yukinoshita stopped Isshiki from moving any further. "Unlike his normal Hiki-lazy-kun self, I think… he needs to be alone this time."

Isshiki looked at the raven-haired girl in shock. "E-Eh? I've never heard you say that before! You're always insulting senpai whenever he wants to be alone!"

"It is surprising to hear you say that, Yukinon!" Yuigahama also expressed her surprise. "But I agree with you about Hikki!"

I glanced back at the trio, and caught Yukinoshita's eyes. Seriously, thank you for that. Nothing against Isshiki, I'm just sick of being interrupted. While the three were discussing, I swiftly moved towards my room.

Thankfully, no one else interrupted me. I grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. Inside was my glorious bed-chan. No one had snuck into my room. It was just me.

I closed the door behind me and turned on the lights. I walked over to the bed and laid down. Huh, what a lovely ceiling. I've seen it plenty of times, yet it feels different. Why?

Probably because the last time I saw it, my thoughts weren't put on full blast.

And then, finally, the thoughts buried deep in my mind came out like a flood.

Holy shit, my thoughts were put on full blast!

They know about my monologues!

They know about how I used to think!

They saw my embarrassing essay!

They know about my embarrassing thoughts of Totsuka!

They're gonna know about everything coming up!

I grabbed my pillow and buried my face into it. Everything felt like it rushed into my brain at once.

They're going to see my actions at the cultural festival!

They're going to see my actions in Kyoto!

They know about my embarrassing thoughts of Totsuka!

They're going to see my deepest wish!

They're gonna know everything!

They're gonna see everything!

They're gonna know everything!

They know about my embarrassing thoughts of Totsuka!

They're gonna see everything!

I felt like my brain was on fire. At last, I fully comprehended what it meant for everything to be shown to everyone. It wasn't good! It really really wasn't!

They're going to see everything!

The images of all of the people in the theater flashed through my mind. Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, Komachi, Isshiki, Totsuka, Zaimokuza, Hiratsuka, Orimoto, Miura, Hayama, Tobe, Ebina, Kawasomething, Shiromeguri, Haruno.

They're going to know everything!

They're going to know… everything.

They're going to…

They're…

…

My arms went weak. The pillow fell off my face. I stared at the ceiling.

They're going to know everything? Well yes, stupid Hachiman. They're going to know everything. The voice would make sure of that.

…Was that such a huge deal?

Of course it was! Who the hell would want their own thoughts and life put onto a theater screen? Every embarrassing moment, every mistake, every little thing! Even if it only starts in the second year, that's where the vast majority of everything is! And those stupid flashbacks!

I stared at the ceiling.

…Why was my life being shown?

The voice said something about the multiverse. Something about how they went out and saw my life on a DVD. But why did they do that? Were they bored? Or was there something deeper?

I know whatever the answer was, I wouldn't be happy about it.

I stared at the ceiling.

…It didn't change my situation. No matter how much I whined and cried about it, I knew I was powerless.

It was… sobering. To realize that there wasn't anything you could do. I wanted to rebel, to go against the voice's wishes. I was reasonably confident the others would agree. We all seemed remarkably calm about it during the actual viewings, but I had a feeling we all knew.

Yet, nothing happened. I think we all knew that going against the voice was futile. They were an all-powerful being, they could probably just force us to keep our eyes peeled to the screen. I had no doubts about that.

All I could do was sit in that theater seat and watch. Watch my life play out. Like I was watching an anime. Seriously, the fact there's an opening and ending really creeps me out.

I stared at the ceiling.

We're only three episodes into this mess. I had no clue how many there were total, but I knew it would be a lot. Gotta maximize the reactions, right voice?

I didn't get a reply, but I wasn't expecting one. Who knows what they're up to. Maybe if I'm lucky, some other god found out about this whole mess and is working on stopping them!

Ha, in your dreams Hachiman.

I stared at the ceiling.

Well, there's no use complaining about this anymore. Nothing's going to change the fact that we're stuck here. So… I should just get over it.

I tried.

This wasn't something you could just "get over." Even for someone like me, who was an expert in getting over stuff. Okay, let's try something different. Accept the situation for what it is. And move forward.

Accept? Move forward? Really? That's what my brain came up with? Okay, let's just… I dunno. Maybe I need to think things through logically. I'm an expert at that. So, let's give it a try.

I sat up. I stared straight ahead. I had no idea how long all of that took. But I'm still here.

I took a deep breath.

Okay. I'm stuck in a theater created by a god who wants to see everyone react to my life. Fifteen other people are seeing the same thing I'm seeing. I've seen three episodes, covering my first meeting with Yukinoshita and Yuigahama, Zaimokuza's request, and Totsuka's request. There's an unknown amount of episodes in total, but three DVDs might indicate three separate seasons. How long those seasons were, I didn't know. They likely covered the entire second year of high school. What specific events would be shown, I didn't know.

…Think that covers it.

I laughed. What a situation I'm in. Who would have thought? Yet, despite that, I felt a little better. Thinking through the whole thing did help. Oh, don't get me wrong, it's impossible to accept this, but I acknowledge it. That's what I should have done. Acknowledged that this is all happen.

…

Welp, I'm done thinking. Maybe I'll get some shut-eye now.

I was about to stand up to turn off the lights. Oh, that's right, I should probably text Komachi and Yukinoshita that I'm going to bed. My phone was still in my pocket, forgotten about throughout the whole viewing. I pulled it out, prepared to navigate to LINE, but I was stopped by the no service symbol at the top. Really, the voice couldn't have been generous enough to provide that? Guess I'm not texting-

I paused. They were outside, weren't they? There wasn't anything stopping me from walking into the theater and telling them good night that way. I felt my face flush up in embarrassment at the thought of saying "Good night" to Yukinoshita. I mean, c'mon, after sticking to texting and the occasional phone call, jumping right to in-person is too much!

Yet, other than my own embarrassment, there wasn't much reason not to do it. But do I really have the energy to do it? I just had a mental breakdown! Ugh. Maybe I won't.

I finally stood up and moved to turn off the lights. And then I froze.

You know, I thought we were done with dealing with the voice for a little bit at least. But how could you explain this as anything else but that stupid thing messing with me again? I mean, c'mon, this isn't fair. I just wanted to sleep!

Laying down on my floor was a young girl. A child, really. One that was definitely not there when I first walked into my room. I wouldn't have missed something so obvious!

She had long dark hair and was dressed in a set of pajamas. She looked like she was sleeping, though I couldn't have been sure. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. I had no idea how long they were there, so there was a nonzero chance they were there during my breakdown. That would be really embarrassing, having to explain to a child what's going on.

Though, this situation isn't much better. Say, why would the voice choose to teleport a child into my room anyways?

I got a closer look at the child. Wait a minute, I know this girl!

Tsurumi Rumi. It's been a little bit since I last saw her. Why did the voice bring her in? And why did they wait until now instead of doing it with the others? And most importantly: Why did they put her in my room?!

Well, shit, what do I do now? I can't just fall asleep in this situation. And I'm not equipped to deal with this in my state!

…I'll have to let the others know. As much as I don't really want to, it's necessary. A new person entering the theater is a big deal. It's not a fate I'd wish for anyone.

Now, how should I do this? Should I wake RumiRumi up, or just go out of the theater first? The former, right? It would be bad if she woke up while no one was there. Waking up in an unfamiliar bedroom would probably make her think terrible things. Alright, let's-

"Ugh."

I froze at that sound. It came from the sleeping girl on my floor. Except now she was no longer sleeping.

Tsurumi slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes. She blinked a few times, likely because of the brightness.

"Huh… I didn't sleep here last night…"

I stood still, right in front of her, so it was no surprise that her eyes landed on my figure. Her eyes widened immediately.

"...Hachiman?"

"...Yo," I replied. I wasn't expecting her to wake up on her own.

Tsurumi panickedly stood up and backed away. "W-What are you doing in my room?"

Huh, immediately getting right to the point. That's oddly mature for a girl of her age.

I decided to answer her question. "Oh, that's simple. You're not in your room."

Tsurumi's eyes widened and her head darted in every direction. Oi, you're gonna break your neck at that speed! Ah, I probably should have said something else there.

"W-Why am I in a weird room?!" The girl shouted. She dramatically pointed at me. "You kidnapper!"

I raised an eyebrow. Why in the world would I ever want to kidnap someone? Also, don't call my room weird!

"Oi, I don't appreciate the unwarranted accusation," I snarked back. Wait, I shouldn't be snarking right now. "But, uh, it's not like that. I didn't bring you here."

Tsurumi squinted her eyes at me. "What does that mean?"

I scratched the back of my neck. "It's… complicated. I'm not even sure how to explain it without sounding crazy."

Tsurumi was silent for a moment. When she spoke back up, her question caught me off guard. "D-Did you get kidnapped too?"

I hesitated to reply. I had the strange feeling that I couldn't really lie here though. "...I guess you could say that, yeah."

"W-What…?" Her eyes filled up with tears. "W-Who would do that?"

Shit, she's about to start crying! I'm terrible around crying girls! I panickedly looked back and forth in my room, seeing if there was anything.

…Wait, why don't I just explain the situation?

I crouched down so my eyes were level with Tsurumi's eyes. "Listen, it's not that big of a deal," I said, lying through my teeth. "You and I, along with some other people, were all brought to this place by… someone, who wanted us to watch a certain show." I chuckled. "Don't worry, it's not like the movies. No torture here." Well, not in the traditional manner, I guess. It's definitely torture for me!

Tsurumi blinked. She remained silent, looking like she was in thought. She rubbed her eyes, likely to remove the tears that had built up. "So… we got kidnapped… to watch a tv show?"

"Yep," I nodded. I know I'm being vague about the show, but I don't think she needs to have that dropped on her right now.

Tsurumi looked at the ground, before stepping away from me. She crossed her arms and looked away. "W-Well, you should have said that from the start!" Ah, that was cute. I'm impressed she knows how to do that kind of move though.

"Yeah yeah. That's my fault," I waved her off as I stood back up.

"Why would someone kidnap us to watch a tv show though?" she asked.

See, I wish I knew. "They probably want to see me suffer," I inadvertently replied.

"...What?"

Oops, that must be really confusing for her. "Uh… the show we're watching really bothers me," I explained while trying to be vague.

Tsurumu looked confused. "How do you know what show you're watching?"

Oh, I forgot to mention that part. "Right, for whatever reason, you were brought in late. I already watched three episodes with the others. I'm not sure why."

"Oh." Tsurumi looked at the bedroom door behind her. "So… what is this room? And where are the other people?"

"You're in my bedroom," I explained. "Don't ask how my bedroom got kidnapped too. And everyone else is out through that door. Actually, that's where the movie theater is."

"Movie theater?"

"Yeah."

That seemed to surprise her. I guess you usually never watch tv shows inside of movie theaters. It's only movies. Huh, I wonder what it would be like to watch my favorite anime in this place?

"So why were you in your room?" Tsurumi asked next. Wait, that's what you're asking next?

"Uh, we were on a break," I explained. "Seemed a little early to have one, though I didn't mind." My little breakdown happened in the privacy of my bedroom instead of somewhere else, thankfully. "I was about to head back out though," I added.

…Well, no, that was a lie. I was just gonna go to sleep after turning off my lights. Review your own monologue, Hachiman! Ah, but there's no way I'm doing that now.

"...Why?"

"Why what?"

Tsurumi pouted. "Why are you going back out?"

"...Well, er, I was gonna take a nap before I noticed you. Though, no way that's happening now. Heh." I smirked, before sighing. "We need to tell them about you."

Tsurumi looked away, biting her lip. "...Who are the other people?"

"You know them," I replied. "Well, some of them. From the summer camp and the Christmas event."

"Oh." She visibility relaxed at my words. Ah, she was worried about interacting with random strangers she was kidnapped with. Too relatable! Wait, not the kidnapping part, just interacting with random strangers.

I jabbed a thumb at my bedroom door. "Anyways, I'm ready to get this over with. You should probably come along. It'll save us time explaining the situation."

Tsurumi seemed hesitant, but eventually nodded. With that confirmation, I walked over to my bedroom door and grabbed the doorknob. I felt RumiRumi follow behind me. Alright, let's see who's out there still.

I opened the door. Then I froze.

See, when I opened my own bedroom door, I was expecting to see the others in the middle of the room. Or maybe even no one. I had no clue how long I was in my bedroom for, so it was possible they had all gone to bed themselves.

I certainly wasn't expecting to see Komachi, Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, and Isshiki standing right in front of my door. Komachi looked like she had her ear pressed against my door. I could tell, because when I opened my door, I saw her take a surprised step back. The other three were standing behind her, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"...What's going on here?" I asked the group.

"Ah hahaha!" Komachi pretended she wasn't caught in the act. "We were, y'know-"

"Rice-chan was stalking you," Isshiki ruthlessly interrupted her.

"I-Iroha-chan!" Komachi whirled onto her. "D-Don't be so upfront!"

I raised an eyebrow. "What's the point of doing that? Can't I even be afforded my own privacy?"

"I-It's not like that, Hikki," Yuigahama spoke up, waving her hands. "The others had gone to their own rooms, and we were gonna do the same. But, um…" For some reason, her face flushed.

Komachi took this chance to speak up. "They wanted to say good night to Onii-chan!"

Huh? They had the same idea I had? I looked at Yukinoshita, who was avoiding my eyes. I could see her cheeks were flushed. Damn, that's really adorable. Now I feel bad for planning to ignore them…

Isshiki crossed her arms. "I didn't plan on joining them, for the record. You'll have to forgive me, senpai!" She stuck out her tongue.

"Sure. So why are you here?" I pointed at her. "And you too, Komachi."

Komachi answered first. "Welllll, I wanted to see Yuki-nee and Yui say their words to Onii-chan! Like any good sister!"

I raised an eyebrow.

"But then…" She suddenly got serious. "Right when we got to your door, we heard some shouting."

"That's when I joined in," Isshiki added. "I heard it as well, and got concerned. Ah, you're lucky to have such a caring kouhai!"

They must be referring to when Tsurumi called me a kidnapper. "So then Komachi tried listening in?"

Komachi fidgeted with her hands. "Yeah… I didn't want to, but I was worried! I didn't recognize the voice."

"W-We were concerned as well," Yukinoshita said. "Hence, why I allowed it. I-I hope you'll… forgive us."

Yuigahama nodded along with her words.

It sounds like they were only concerned for my well-being. And they didn't hear anything from my mental breakdown earlier. Thankfully. So it really wasn't a big deal.

"It's all good," I said, waving them all off. "I don't really mind it. You were only concerned for me."

Komachi grinned. "Thanks Onii-chan!" Then her face went serious. "Um, but what was the shouting about?"

"Ah." I haven't mentioned her yet. "In their infinite generosity," I spat out with obvious sarcasm, "Our captor decided to bring another person to this theater." I moved aside, allowing RumiRumi to come forward.

Tsurumi stepped forward, hands squeezed together. When her eyes landed on the girls, they widened. "Oh, it's you guys."

Likewise, Yukinoshita and Yuigahama were surprised to see the girl. "Tsurumi-chan?" Yuigahama muttered out. "I wasn't expecting to see her here!"

"It has been a while," Yukinoshita said with a smile. "We last saw each other at the Christmas event, right?"

Tsurumi nodded.

"Oh, I remember you!" Komachi exclaimed. "From the summer camp! Aw, those pajamas are adorable!"

That made Tsurumi blush slightly. "T-Thanks."

"Hm?" Isshiki looked at Tsurumi closely. "I swear I've seen you somewhere before. Ah, Yukino-san did say something about the Christmas event! So it must have been there!"

Congratulations on your brilliant deduction. "Yeah, she was one of the girls doing the decorations," I explained. "You should have seen her during then."

Isshiki nodded. "That-"

Hello, all theater occupants.

The voice suddenly spoke up, interrupting Isshiki and making me jump. Why are you speaking up now?!

As you may recall, I paused the viewing, as something came up on my end. The issue has been resolved, thankfully. Don't worry, nothing would have happened to you all!

For some reason, I feel like the voice is lying…

I suddenly felt something touching my leg. I tilted my head down to see that Tsurumi was now standing next to me. She had grabbed a hold of my leg. Hoh, now what's this?

"U-Um, w-what is-"

Unfortunately, as you likely can tell, I am exhausted. So, to ensure that our viewing goes uninterrupted for the foreseeable feature, I will be taking a nap! I highly encourage you all to do the same, as after this, I'm removing all of your fatigue!

What?! You mean you're not going to let me sleep in the future?! You bastard! How could you?!

Tsurumi kept her mouth shut, grabbing onto my pants leg. This was the first time she experienced the voice speaking directly into her mind, so she didn't know what was happening.

Okay, have fun sleeping! If you're concerned about not falling asleep, don't worry about it!

I waited to see if the voice was going to say anything else, but nothing came. Nothing about RumiRumi, huh? And an insistence on having us sleep now? Fine by me. I'll be sure to sleep the best I've ever slept!

"Um… w-what was that…?" Tsurumi mumbled.

Eh? Oh right, she knows absolutely nothing about our kidnapper. "That's the 'someone' I mentioned earlier," I told her.

Tsurumi stared at me with confusion. "B-But they felt like they spoke… i-inside me."

"They're extremely powerful," I explained. "That's how they somehow stole my own bedroom and put it in this place."

Tsurumi didn't reply to that. She probably had no clue what to say. I mean, how could she? This wasn't exactly your everyday occurrence. Honestly, I'm more impressed that RumiRumi hasn't cried at all. Well, she came pretty damn close earlier, but still, it's far better than I'd expect of someone her age.

"Interesting," Yukinoshita mused. "The voice neglected to mention Tsurumi-san."

"I noticed that too!" Yuigahama agreed. "And they told us to sleep…"

"Kind of a weird request," Isshiki commented while crossing her arms. "This voice dude is super creepy…"

Er, I wouldn't say that Isshiki. Outloud. If you insult them enough, they might just put your memories on the screen!

"That does beg the question though," Komachi piped up, a finger on her chin. "Why did they put Rumi-chan in Onii-chan's room?"

"I was thinking the same thing!" Yuigahama exclaimed and pointed at Komachi. "It's soooo weird!"

It's a good question. Everyone else had their own rooms, so why was Tsurumi singled out? Hmm, let me think about this.

Maybe she wasn't initially supposed to be here, but the voice changed their mind. And, because the voice is insistent on my suffering, they placed her in my room in order to cause a misunderstanding and bring an end to my life!

…Whoops, I got a bit conspiratorial there. But aside from that last part, it all sounds believable to me. Though, it's also possible that the voice couldn't connect her room for whatever reason, so they instead just plopped her in a random room. Maybe they picked my room because I knew RumiRumi the best. That feels too kind though…

There is technically another possibility. She was actually here from the beginning, but we somehow didn't notice. Then she sneakily watched everything else from a distance before fleeing to what she thought was her room. She realized that she entered the wrong room, but by that point it was too late! The fact that it was my room was a coincidence!

…

Nah, there's no way. I distinctly remember narrating that there were sixteen doors when I first got here. Plus, there were sixteen names on the DVD player. Not to mention how I would have had to have ignored her completely inside my room. That scenario is too strange to make sense.

It's most likely the first possibility. Though, that does beg the question: Why did the voice change their mind? Don't tell me that the voice found our reactions so boring that it wanted to drag someone else into it?! That bastard…

"Hikigaya-kun?"

I was snapped out of my thought process by Yukinoshita's voice. I turned towards her, only to see her softly smiling at me. U-Um, hey, looking at me with that face is making me really embarrassed!

"Y-Yeah?" I stammered out. I had to look away. Why was she smiling at me like that?!

"You seemed to be deep in thought. Were you considering Tsurumi-san's situation?"

I'm not looking at you! I'm not looking at you! I opened my mouth to reply-

"Ooh! Yuki-nee can tell just by looking at Onii-chan!" Komachi interrupted, stars glowing in her eyes. "I'm so happy someone else can tell!"

"E-Eh?" Yukinoshita stammered out. "W-What do you mean by that?"

"They were flirting right in front of us!" Isshiki gloomily remarked before Komachi could reply. "Unbelievable!"

Flirting? You call that flirting?! All she did was ask me a question. And give me that smile. Hmm. On second thought, I see where she's coming from. Forgive me for doubting you, Isshiki-sama!

I shook my head. "All of that aside, Yukinoshita was right. I was thinking about it. Why was RumiRumi teleported into my room?"

"RumiRumi?" Yuigahama asked. "I didn't know you gave nicknames, Hikki!"

Oops. I didn't mean to say that out loud. "I made an exception," I said in a tone that implied that I didn't want to talk about it anymore. "Regardless, it's actually a pretty simple answer. The voice didn't originally plan to have her here, but then they changed their mind. That's it."

"Really? That's kinda anticlimactic…" Isshiki pouted. Oi, you should be glad that's all it is! Besides, I could be wrong. After all, how could I ever hope to understand the thought process of a god?

"That sounds right to me!" Yuigahama exclaimed, agreeing with my theory.

"It does feel like the most likely possibility," Yukinoshita added. "Though, it seems strange to think our… kidnapper would act in such a way."

Agreed. They must be a bad planner. Shouldn't someone with that much power at least have a clear idea of how many people they want inside a theater designed to torture me mentally? If it were me, I'd have the entire thing planned out!

Tsurumi watched the entire exchange with a confused expression. What are they talking about? I thought they were talking about me, but then they talked about the kidnapper. I can't keep up…

"Anyways!" Komachi suddenly piped in. "I don't think we're going to get anywhere talking about this. As much as I agree with Onii-chan, we don't know for sure what's up."

I was a little surprised to hear her say that. "Okay then-"

"Which is why we need to figure out the sleeping arrangements!" Komachi declared.

"...Uh, right. Why?" I asked. "Other than RumiRumi, we can all just sleep in our own rooms."

"And that's the problem!" Komachi exclaimed, pointing at me. "Rumi-chan doesn't have a place to sleep!"

…Oh, she's right. I don't have an extra futon in my room either.

I looked at the other three girls, hoping they had a simple solution.

"She can stay in my room!" Yuigahama immediately proposed, raising her hand.

Yukinoshita immediately shook her head. "Yuigahama-san, the last time I visited you, your extra futon was not in your bedroom, am I correct?"

The pink haired girl pouted. "No… and I didn't put one in there either…" She slouched over. "I just wanted to have a sleepover…"

"Probably wouldn't be a fun sleepover if someone had to sleep on the floor," I commented casually. That earned me a glare from the girl in question. I'm just being realistic! "On that matter, I don't have an extra futon in my room," I added. "Pretty sure Komachi doesn't either."

"I'm in the same boat as senpai!" Isshiki chimed in.

Yukinoshita crossed her arms. "Unfortunately, I do not have one either. This is a problem."

"We could ask the others if they have any extra futons," Yuigahama offered. Hey, that's actually a good idea.

"What if they're sleeping though?" Komachi pointed out. "I don't wanna be the one to hear your teacher get cranky about sleep."

Are you referring to Hiratsuka? She definitely gives off the vibe of being pissed about something like that. Though, once we told her of the situation, I'm confident she'd help out.

I'm also confident she does not have a futon in her room. Why? Because if she miraculously gets a guy back to her place, she would want to share a bed. Or make them sleep on the couch. No in-between. I can't speak about the others though.

"Well, what can we even do then?" Isshiki asked. "Seems cruel to let someone sleep on the floor."

Komachi suddenly smirked. "It's simple! Rumi-chan sleeps in Onii-chan's room. Then Onii-chan can sleep with Yuki-nee!"

…Wut?

I felt my face heat up immediately. What are you proposing, stupid sister of mine?! As much as part of me likes the idea, it's also a terrible idea! No, definitely not an option! It's definitely not because I'm super embarrassed! It's just irresponsible to leave RumiRumi alone!

"We can't have that happening!" Isshiki was unexpectedly the first to protest. "Who knows what senpai will do to her!"

"That's your complaint?!" I shouted.

"I-I'm afraid we cannot do that," Yukinoshita stuttered with a red face. "Tsurumi-san cannot be left alone to sleep. I-It would be irresponsible."

"Yep! Agreed!" Isshiki and I said at the same time. I ignored the fact that Yukinoshita said the same thing I was thinking.

"You're ruining the plan, Onii-chan!" Komachi pouted. What plan?!

"...But I already sleep in my own room…" Tsurumi muttered.

I looked at Yukinoshita, who was still blushing like crazy. The cuteness really was off the charts. But seriously, regardless of what the voice says, there's a 0% chance I'll get any sleep with her. No, not because of that!

"Umm, why don't we ask what Rumi-chan wants to do?" Yuigahama suddenly suggested.

I realized that we hadn't even asked the girl in the first place. I looked at her. If she wanted to sleep alone, then-

"I… don't know…" Tsurumi glanced down at the floor. Well, that went nowhere.

I sighed. If nothing gets decided soon, I'm not going to get any sleep. And I really don't feel like asking the others if they have a futon. Beyond worrying about waking them up, I'm worried I'll accidentally summon the romcom gods if I try that.

I looked around the room, including the theater. The theater. Oh, there's a simple solution.

"Look, I'll just sleep in the theater," I proposed, no longer blushing. I mean, the chairs weren't uncomfortable. I don't see any issues with getting sleep. RumiRumi can sleep in my room, and no one will need to share a bed! Obviously, there is the issue of someone else sleeping in my bed, but at this point, it's a sacrifice that I must make.

I did feel a small sense of disappointment from myself, but I squashed it. This is not the place to do that kind of thing!

Instead of the joyous response I expected (not really), the others simply stared at me blankly.

Yukinoshita was the first to speak up. "Hmm. It… works."

Yuigahama frowned. "Yeah… it works…"

Isshiki didn't say a word, but her expression spoke for itself. Sigh. They probably see it as hurting myself for no good reason. Even though this is nothing like what I did back then.

I scratched my head. "It's not like I'm sleeping on the floor or anything. Besides, this is the best option without sharing rooms or asking around."

"Onii-chan, don't you want to be with your girlfriend?!" Komachi recklessly exclaimed. "Come onnnnn!"

I glared at her. "Oi! Quit being so insistent on our sleeping habits! We get there when we get there!"

…Oops, I might have said something a little embarrassing.

However, Komachi continued the attack. "So are you saying you don't want to sleep with Yuki-nee right now?"

"What kind of question is that?" I questioned her. "You're losing so many Komachi points right now!"

"Gah?! Ok ok I'll stoppp!" She suddenly reversed course. She bowed down and clapped her hands together. "Please forgive your stupid silly sister for her actions!"

Huh, that was quick. I'm tempted to say no.

"...Fine." Gah, it's hard to say no to her. That is the bles- curse of little sisters, after all. "But don't say anything like that again." She's not going to listen to my words, but it's worth a try.

While we were arguing, Tsurumi had moved away from me. "Um… does he always act like this?" She asked Yukinoshita, looking up at the girl.

The raven haired girl had a faint blush on her face. "Y-Yes. They have an… interesting sibling relationship."

"Okay…" Tsurumi turned her focus back to the siblings. "...I wonder what it would be like to have a sibling."

Yukinoshita didn't reply. Her sibling relationship was so different from the Hikigaya siblings that it was practically night and day. So she had no idea how to respond to Tsurumi's statement.

Back to me, I sighed. "Regardless of whatever we do, we should decide soon." I walked towards my bedroom to grab a pillow. "Unless there's any serious objections, I'll just sleep in the theater."

I glanced at the five girls outside my room (middle school me would be fuming at that sentence), waiting to see if any one of them would speak up.

"Hikki…" Yuigahama seemed like she wanted to protest, but she had nothing. The same went for Isshiki, while Yukinoshita held a contemplative look on her face.

Komachi sighed. "Well, looks like I have no choice. I'll just join you onii-chan."

I paused.

"...Huh?" I slipped out. "What do you mean?"

"I can't let my brother sleep alone in a scary theater!" Komachi exclaimed. "What if you get murdered in the middle of the night?!"

I blinked. "...The chances of that happening are astronomically low. No one here wants to kill me." Except for Hiratsuka. I still haven't forgotten her threats to my bodily health. "And the god wants to witness my privacy being destroyed, so there's no way they would let me be hurt."

Komachi pouted. "Quit being so logical, Onii-chan!"

I scratched the back of my neck. "That said, I can't stop you. Even though the bed is probably more comfortable." I'd rather that she stay in her room, but I can't say that I'd be disappointed if she decided otherwise.

"Yay! I'll be sure to be there!" Komachi rapidly darted to her bedroom door. "See you soon, Onii-chan!" And then she was gone.

"...Didn't see that coming. Anyways, I'm off to the theater." I said with a wave. I walked into my bedroom and grabbed one of the pillows off my bed. I didn't bother to change my clothes, since it's only been, at most, a few hours. I stepped outside again, pillow under my arm.

…Oh yeah, I can say good night to them in person now.

"I-"

"Wait!" Tsurumi suddenly shouted, interrupting me before I could get anything out. "I want to come to the theater too!"

Hah?! What are you saying?! "Oi, you just said you didn't know!" I'm aware I'm shouting at a child, but frankly, I could care less. I want to say goodnight and go to sleep, dammit!

"Well, I made a decision!" Tsurumi said while crossing her arms. You couldn't have said that earlier? Ugh.

"Fine, you do you." I don't have the heart to tell Komachi that I could sleep in my own room now, so I'll suck it up. Though, there's a chance RumiRumi wanted to sleep with me. Therefore, going back on my word would just put us back where we started. Ah, no point thinking about that.

I turned to the other three girls, who looked surprised at Tsurumi's declaration. "Are any of you coming? Just announce your intentions now so I don't get surprised later." Better get this over with. Hm, why do I feel slightly nervous?

Yuigahama grinned and threw an arm in the air. "Sleepover time! I've never done one in a movie theater, so this will be fun!" Well, that's not surprising at all. I'd be terrified that something was wrong if she didn't agree.

Isshiki was next. "Senpai? Could it be that you are hitting on me, even though you have a girlfriend? Sorry, but I can't accept that unless-"

"Just answer, brat."

"Eeeeh? Senpai is so mean!" Isshiki pouted, before grinning. "I guess I'll join. It would be weird if I missed out! Besides, I'm sure you're eager to see me sleeping!"

"Sure," I dismissed her words. "See you there."

"Eh?" Isshiki was mildly surprised by his words, before she realized that he wasn't taking her seriously. "Ah, you got me there senpai!"

I ignored her and looked at the last girl. E-Eh, why did my heart rate speed up there?

"As your partner…" Yukinoshita looked away with a small blush. "I-It would be imprudent to… not show up."

When she said those words, a strange sense of happiness filled my being. A-Am I happy she said yes? Well, it does make sense. She's my partner, why wouldn't I be happy to be around her?

I nodded, smiling. For some reason, that made Yuigahama and Isshiki pout. Are they jealous?

I ignored the reaction, and instead turned towards the theater. "Well, that's that. I'll be in the seats," I called out to the others.

Tsurumi crossed her arms. "What am I supposed to do?"

Without turning around, I answered. "Just steal one of my pillows or something." I walked out of my bedroom and towards the theater. No one else was there. Also, was it just me or were the lights dimmer than before? Wait, I just realized that I don't know if the lights will even go dark in the first place. That might be a problem…

Behind me, the other girls went to their respective rooms, likely to get their own stuff (excluding Tsurumi, who was busy stealing my pillows).

I walked down the stairs towards the chair I sat in earlier. That's when I spotted an item sitting in the chair that I didn't expect.

There's already a blanket there? Since when? Oh, wait, I somehow forgot to grab a blanket from my room. I don't see Komachi around, so it was probably the voice being nice for once. This doesn't mean that I forgive you though!

I stood in front of my chair, looking down on it. Sigh. I'm going to be sitting in here for a while, aren't I? Stupid god.

Wait, what's stopping me from just changing seats? I'll just let Komachi take this one and sit somewhere else. I picked up the blanket on the chair and plopped it two chairs away.

No.

Huh? Did I just hear the god speak? Must be going cra… zy….

My thoughts trailed off as I witnessed the blanket magically float into the air and travel to the "golden" chair. It stopped floating and fell onto the chair.

Well then. I'll just sleep without a blanket! The god can't stop me from sleeping somewhere else!

In hindsight, that was a very foolish thought. The next moment, I suddenly felt myself being pulled towards the chair. I tried to resist, but it was futile. I was slammed into the chair in a manner very similar to how it happened the first time.

…I really hope this doesn't become a trend. I sighed and slumped into the chair. Honestly, it's kinda weird how calmly I was accepting this. This probably isn't normal, but what can I do about it? Going up against a god is not something I really have the power to do. And it's not like they're murdering everyone I love either…

Well, guess I'll wait now. I stared ahead, wondering when Komachi or someone else would show up. Only a minute passed before I heard a voice.

"Onii-chan!" Komachi exclaimed, running down the stairs in pajamas. Oh, there she is.

"Yo."

She ran up to the seat next to me and plopped her stuff down. "I'm so excited! I haven't done a sleepover with you in so long!"

"More like never. It's not really a sleepover if we live in the same house."

Komachi stuck her tongue out. "Boo! So mean, onii-chan!"

"I'm just stating the facts," I retorted.

"My, what an interesting argument." Someone else unexpectedly cut in. I whirled my head around to see Yukinoshita setting down her blanket and pillow on the chair next to me.

"Uhh, why are you putting your stuff there?" She's not actually thinking of-

"Isn't it obvious? I will be… s-sleeping n-next to you…" Yukinoshita started confidently, but quickly became more embarrassed as she continued. Damn it, that's too adorable! I could feel my heart beat faster as well.

"Yay! Progress!" Komachi cheered. "Keep it up Yuki-nee!"

Her words only made Yukinoshita's face grow even redder. For me, I had no idea how I looked right now. I hope my face isn't as red as hers! It shouldn't be, right? Right? Right?

"Noooo! How did Yukino beat me?!" Those words snapped me out of my stupor. I turned to see Isshiki standing at the edge of the seats. "I thought I was being super fast, but I still lost!" she exclaimed with a pout.

"Hah? Were you seriously trying to be fast enough to claim a seat next to me?" Watch this. She's going to deny it.

"What? Why would I do that?" Isshiki deadpanned at me. Yup, right on the nail. "Idiot senpai!"

Well, I won't say this outloud, but I'm glad Yukinoshita was faster. Oh, it's nothing against Isshiki. It's just, wow, this situation feels like a dream. Getting to sleep next to my partner… who wouldn't want that?

Now all we need to do is wait for Yuigahama and Tsurumi. Then I could finally go to sleep.

"Yahallo!" Well, there's one. Yuigahama bounded down the stairs, looking at the row we were sitting in. "Oh, I'm last?"

"Nah. We still need to wait for RumiRumi. You were pretty slow though," I teased. I'm surprised how fast they were able to get everything together. Hell, they might be faster than I normally am…

"Hikki! So mean!" Yuigahama pouted, before grinning. "But I'm excited! We're having a sleepover!"

"Sleepover!" Komachi exclaimed back.

Sleepover, woo.

"Whoa…" I faintly heard a child's voice behind me. I turned around in my seat to see Tsurumi standing in the very back, behind all of the chairs. Oh right, she hasn't actually seen the theater yet. She was carrying one of my pillows and a blanket, both of which I assume are mine. I didn't actually tell her to take the blanket, but I guess it's fine. As long as she doesn't ruin it…

"Oi. You can come down," I called out.

Tsurumi jumped slightly. She gave me a glare, before she hopped down the stairs. Oops, I might have scared her. She stopped just behind Isshiki, looking at the girl with a strange expression.

"Okay everyone. Go pick a spot and sleep," I called out to the standing girls. I'm already in the perfect position, between Komachi and Yukinoshita. I mean, c'mon, it doesn't get any better than this. Well, besides the whole movie theater thing.

"Yippee! I'll be next to Yukinon!" Yuigahama exclaimed, putting her stuff in the chair and hugging the raven haired girl. Well, that surprises no one. I'm more concerned about Isshiki and RumiRumi, since I have no idea where they want to be. Isshiki seemed to imply she wanted to be next to me. For why, I had no idea.

Isshiki sighed. "Looks like I'm next to you again, Rice-chan."

Komachi giggled. "Don't worry, I know you wanted to be next to onii-chan. But Yuki-nee has priority!"

She gave the girl a weird look. "...How about you move?"

"Ehh?" Komachi genuinely looked confused. "Why would I do that?"

Isshiki is being weirdly upfront about this. Weird. I'm also weirdly not concerned about that at all. Weird, huh? Isn't it weird that I'm using that word a lot right now?

The two girls started to bicker, leaving Tsurumi as the only undecided. Hmm, she probably wouldn't want to be next to Isshiki, since she doesn't know her. And every other seat in the row is taken- wait, why would she need to sit in our row? Er, uh, let's see what she does.

Tsurumi stared at me and… pouted? Then she turned away and marched up the stairs. For a second, I thought she was flat out leaving. Instead, she walked up to the row behind ours and sat in the seat directly behind me.

"Since when were you so popular?" Tsurumi asked as she sat down with my stuff.

"Sounds like someone's jealous," I countered with a smirk.

"Hmph! I'm not!" The girl looked away with a pout. Hah, she truly does act like a kid.

Sweet dreams, Hachiman. Hehehehe!

Eh? That was definitely the voice speaking right there! Except, weirdly enough, no one else seemed to react. I guess it wouldn't be surprising that it can speak directly to a single person.

Suddenly, the lights in the theater turned off, submerging all of us into darkness.

"AHHHHH!" I felt Komachi grab onto me from the side. Oi, since when were you scared of the dark? A moment later, dim lights on the seats turned on. It made it so the seats themselves were visible, but difficult to make out anything else. Probably so that everyone standing could sit down.

I heard Yukinoshita sigh. "It appears our… host is playing a prank on us. How generous of them. Also, can you let go, Yuigahama-san?"

"Ehh? B-But I want to keep hanging on!" Yuigahama exclaimed.

"I will consider it after we sit down."

"Yay!" I felt my seat shake slightly from the movement. Alright, time to-

"Senpai, can you tell rice-chan to change seats pleaseeeeeee~?" Isshiki called out. You're sti

Hah, you fool! Your "Imouto mode" has no effect if I can't see you! Besides, even if I said yes, I know Komachi will simply do the same to me. Seriously though, why are you so hung up on this? "Rejected," I answered. Then, for extra measure, I added, "Also, I thought you didn't want to sit next to me?"

Isshiki paused for a moment. Then she sighed. "I changed my mind. I can't let Yukino-san get too far ahead!"

What's that supposed to mean? "Either way, too bad. Deal with it."

"Booooo! Senpai is so mean!"

I felt Komachi release me. "Hehe, Onii-chan likes me more than you!" she teased, all traces of fear gone from her voice.

"That's only because you're his sister!"

I ignored the two's bickering and leaned further back into my chair. Interestingly, I haven't heard anything from RumiRumi since the lights were turned off. I really hope she didn't jump out of her chair and get hurt. Or worse, trying to get into my chair.

Oh well, I'll just have to hope for the best. I pulled the blanket over me and closed my eyes. "Good night," I called out.

"Good night, onii-chan!" Komachi replied back, her "argument" already over. "I'll be sure to keep Iroha-chan out of the way!"

"Don't listen to Rice-chan! But, um, good night senpai!"

"Night, Hikki!"

"Good… night…" Tsurumi barely mumbled out behind me. Ok, she didn't move from her chair. That's good.

"Um… good night… H-" Yukinoshita began, before cutting herself off. Hm? Did she fall asleep immediately after saying that? That's kind of- "Hachi…man…"

My eyes opened wide. Did she just call me by my first… name…? Eh… I feel… really tired all of sudden…? How….. weird…..

Chapter Text

Empty Empty Empty Haruno Shiromeguri Empty

Orimoto Miura Hayama Tobe Ebina Kawasaki

Empty Empty Tsurumi Hiratsuka Zaimokuza Totsuka

Empty Isshiki Komachi Hachiman Yukinoshita Yuigahama

Screen

Watching My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Terrible, As Expected

Episode 04

I slowly opened my eyes.

Huh… that's a big screen. Did I sleep in a movie theater or something? That doesn't sound like something I'd do.

Right then, my memories came back to me. We were kidnapped by some god and forced to watch my experiences. Then we took a break to sleep, but due to the arrival of… who? Oh right, RumiRumi. Anyways, due to her arrival, I decided to sleep in the theater. However, the others also decided to join me, for some reason.

Speaking of which, why do my shoulders feel heavier than they should be? I twisted my head to the right and saw that Komachi was resting her head on my shoulder. Ah, how adorable. When was the last time I was able to lay my eyes on such a sight? It's been too long!

…Er, wait, my left shoulder also feels heavy? I slowly turned my head to the left, only to be greeted by a flurry of raven-black hair. What is this?

At that moment, the hair somehow moved and shifted itself. Immediately, I knew who was on my shoulder. And that caused my face to rapidly heat up. I forcefully kept my mouth shut, because I'm not gonna scream, dammit!

…Well, I can't really do anything. Trying to move both Komachi and Yukinoshita's heads would risk waking them up. Besides, why would I want to move away from heaven?

I sat in my chair, unmoving. I stared at Yukinoshita's very pret- normal looking hair for a moment, before focusing on the screen in front of me. It remained blank, just as it was when we first sat in these chairs.

I don't know how long I sat there, but before long, I felt Komachi's head moving.

She let out a yawn and slowly opened her eyes. "Oh… morning onii-chan…"

"Morning." Does the passage of time even exist here? Somehow, I doubt it.

Komachi rubbed her eyes and drifted her focus to my other shoulder, before freezing abruptly. She stared back and forth between there and myself. Then she smirked, her sleepiness completely gone.

"Wow onii-chan! I'm so proud of you!"

I rolled my eyes. "Not so loud. You'll probably wake her up."

That only caused Komachi to squeal. Sigh. I can't really blame her, considering I felt like squealing myself. Oh well, I suppose Yukinoshita will probably wake up any minute now.

"Mmm… comfy…"

Eh? Komachi and I slowly turned to face the lump of hair with surprise. D-Did she just… say that…?

That was so adorable! But I also fear for my life if she ever realized what she said! Though, it's also possible that she gets too embarrassed to do anything. Either way, it was worth it! I can die a happy man now!

"Psst! Onii-chan!" Komachi whispered into my ear. "You can't let her go!"

I raised an eyebrow. Is she referring to making sure she stays on my shoulder, or making her stay as my partner? One of them is impossible, while the other is something I will do everything in my power to accomplish.

Suddenly, I heard Yukinoshita yawn. Looks like she's about to wake up.

She slowly lifted her head off my shoulder and opened her eyes. "Mmm?" She seemed to express confusion for a moment, before realization struck her. "Ah… good morning, Hikigaya-kun."

"Morning." I will not mention her sleeping on my shoulder. I will not mention her sleeping on my shoulder. Why did I repeat that?

Yukinoshita turned her head the other way, towards where Yuigahama was sleeping. Then she turned back to me with a mildly concerned expression.

"Um… Yuigahama-san appears to be using my shoulder as a pillow," she stated.

"Hah?" I leaned over in my chair and… yup, Yuigahama was doing the exact same thing Yukinoshita was doing. Now I'm curious what we all would have looked like from an outside observer.

At that moment, Yuigahama yawned. Well, isn't that convenient? I wonder if the voice made us wake up at the same time. The pink haired girl raised her head off her shoulder and rubbed an eye. "Eh… It's Yukinon..."

"Good morning Yuigahama-san."

That seemed to snap Yuigahama awake. "AHH! I thought I was still dreaming!"

I will ignore the implications of that statement and move on. "Morning, Yuigahama," I called out.

"Ehh?! Hikki too?!" Looks like someone hasn't recovered their memories. "Ooh! I forgot we had a sleepover in a movie theater!" …Technically not wrong, I guess?

Oh, that reminds me. I looked behind my seat to check on Tsurumi. To my faint surprise, she was already awake, glaring at Yuigahama. Did her shouting wake RumiRumi up?

"Good morning!" I heard Isshiki exclaim. Huh, she's awake. And really energetic for some reason.

"Good morning, Iroha-chan!" Komachi exclaimed back. Why are they being so loud? They literally sit next to each other.

"May you two decrease your volume?" Yukinoshita asked with a sigh. "As we have just woken up, I would prefer to avoid anything too loud."

"Oops! Sorry, Yuki-nee!" Komachi apologized with her head bowed. "I just suddenly feel really energized!"

"Well, I'm not looking forward to whatever the voice decides to show next," I commented. "The thought of that makes me feel the opposite of energized."

"Oh… right…" Komachi trailed off with a downtrodden tone. Wait, I didn't mean for that to happen! Don't make that sad face! As if she heard my thoughts, her expression became joyful again. "I bet Onii-chan will do something stupid!"

"Oi! That's very low on Komachi points!"

"Ehh?! Please forgive your silly sister for her actions!" Komachi quickly bowed her head again. Damn it, that's too cute!

I smiled lightly and gave her a head pat. "Okay." I really am weak to younger sisters, huh…

…somehow, I don't think that sentence came out right. At least no one else heard it.

Hello!

I jumped in surprise. Why the hell did the voice decide now to speak up?! I was not alone in that thought, as I heard the girls next to me groan in frustration.

At the moment, I'm only talking to you six in the theater. The others will be waking up soon, so the show can continue very soon!

How about you take us back home and stop violating my privacy? That would be great, thanks. Of course, I didn't say that outloud. What would be the point? The voice would dismiss it like every other protest I've had.

Anyways, I'm just here to warn you that I'll be taking away those blankets and pillows you have on you. Don't worry, they'll be back in your rooms safe and sound!

If you're wondering why, well, I just felt like it! Hehehe~!

"That's a really dumb reason!" Tsurumi unexpectedly shouted. She had stood up from her seat and glared at the… ceiling? "...And I don't get why I'm here…"

That's a good point. While I had my own theories, I didn't actually have an answer. But considering this was a god…

Ah, what a great question! Why did I bring you, a grade schooler, to this theater? The answer is that  I simply felt like it.  The more people that see the life of Hachiman Hikigaya, the better!

For some reason, those words sent chills down my spine. You're telling me that some god decided to violate my privacy and take people from their daily lives, all to watch some stupid show, because they wanted to?

Because the voice wanted to?

That made me angry. And, unlike before, I had the urge to do something about it. I clenched my fist and finally spoke up. "What the hell is your deal? What's so special about my own life that you felt taking everyone I knew?" I raised my voice. "I'm proud of my own life, but it's nothing out of the ordinary! Why couldn't you just do something like this to some poor soul who got isekaied instead?! I'm sure that story would have been much more interesting!"

By the end, I was standing up in front of my seat. The blanket that was on my lap had fallen to the floor. Right when I realized that, however, my anger started to fade away. I was not planning on saying all of that. I guess I had a lot of repressed anger. Who could blame me for it though? With that said, I felt pretty embarrassed. I wonder if Yukinoshita thought that was creepy…

…Huh. I was wondering when you'd speak up. Took a bit longer than I expected. Though, I wasn't expecting those words specifically! Oh, how interesting!

I shivered at those words, but I remained standing. Obviously, I had no idea where the voice resided, so I elected to glare at the theater screen.

Around me, the girls looked at me worriedly. I couldn't really blame them. The tone in my voice was probably unrecognizable. When did I ever shout at someone in anger?

Well, perhaps I'll get a little more serious. But do note, Hachiman, that I am only talking to you now. The others next to you will not hear this conversation. After all, you're the star of the show!

I remained silent. I couldn't help but wonder why the voice wanted to keep this private. Uh oh, am I about to be threatened?

As you are now aware, the multiverse is real! Countless realities exist, many of which include yourself! Some of them are… quite interesting. Imagine a reality where you were isekaied!

…That sounds awful. Why the hell would I want that? Well, I suppose my middle school self would have instantly jumped at the chance to be isekaied. Thankfully, that delusion is long gone. I think.

How is this relevant? You may be wondering that. Well, allow me to monologue for a bit. I hope you don't mind!

I am not the only god or god-like  thing . That shouldn't be too surprising, but I figured I would make that clear! Anyways, as there are plenty of realities with you, there are also plenty in which you are not there. Instead, a different person is the protagonist!

The wording of that sentence did not go past me. "What the hell do you mean by 'A different person is the protagonist?' Are you implying that I'm somehow the protagonist of my world?"

The girls jumped in surprise at my words. After all, as the voice was speaking only to Hachiman, they had no idea that a conversation was going on.

"U-Um, Yukinon… What is Hikki saying?" Yuigahama nervously asked her seatmate.

Yukinoshita glanced at Hachiman with concern. "I… am admittedly unsure."

Komachi looked worriedly at Hachiman. "Onii-chan, what are you doing…?"

"Senpai is saying something stupid again…" Despite her words, Isshiki was also concerned, especially due to the tone in his words.

Not… quite. After all, you are correct that your life is ordinary. It has its quirks, alright, but nothing supernatural or absurd. I think that has its own charm! But no, you are not the "protagonist of your world," as you called it. As a matter of fact, your world is quite unique in that there is no protagonist!

Well, that's a relief.

However, there are certain worlds that do have "protagonists." In fact, the entire world revolves around these people. They also aren't immune to the powers we have. Actually, I know several god-like creatures like me who have done the exact same thing I have done!

Sure, they had different intentions! One of them wanted to help the protagonist before they were crushed by their traumas, another fell in love with the protagonist and felt like spreading that love to others. There were others who had more nefarious intentions, but I usually avoid those ones anyways.

However, I have no intentions like that. I was simply bored. And I've never been one for "protagonists." You… are far more interesting, Hachiman!

"..." I didn't know what to say. But it confirmed that this voice or god truly did this because they were bored. That bothered me a lot. What could I do about that though? In essence, this voice just dismissed me. I was nothing special, and the voice confirmed it.

Wait, but if I'm the main character on a TV show, doesn't that make me a protagonist? Maybe the voice uses a weird definition of "protagonist?" Okay, I'm going to stop thinking about it, it's giving me a headache.

However, I am not cruel. At least, I think so! So I will apologize for what I've done. But, the show will continue! That will not change.

So don't even try. And I'm sure you're aware that resisting me is futile. That's the end of our conversation, Hachiman Hikigaya.

I waited to see if the voice would say anything else, but nothing came out. I sighed and sat back down with frustration. They were absolutely right. How could I hope to resist a god-like being?

…I'm changing the subject. This is depressing me too much.

The idea that "protagonists" actually exist is an idea that bothers me, but isn't too surprising in hindsight. I'm just glad my world apparently doesn't have one, and that I'm not one. I sure hope my other selves don't have to suffer that fate! Though, if I was isekaied, as the voice claimed, then it's probably an unavoidable fate. Not guaranteed, as multiple people could be isekaied, but it's likely.

"U-Um… Onii-chan?"

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Komachi. I glanced at her, only to see a worried expression on her face. Oh crap, she and the others must be so confused right now.

"I-"

Whoopsie! I forgot to take away those blankets and pillows! I apologize for my tardiness!

The voice interrupted me before I could get anything else out. I glared at the screen again. At the same time, the blanket on the floor started to fade away. No, seriously. It was literally vanishing in front of my eyes!

"Ehh?!" Yuigahama and Iroha shouted at the same time. "M-My blanket!"

Yukinoshita was also shocked to see her items vanishing, but she didn't say a word. Her mind was more focused on what Hachiman had said a moment ago. She quickly deduced that he had a conversation with the voice, though the subject was still a mystery. I am not too familiar with the multiverse theory, but I suspect the conversation involved it.

Within a few seconds, all of the pillows and blankets had disappeared. I still don't get why the voice thought that was necessary, but I realized that there was no point in trying to find an answer. It was probably some stupid reason.

Unfazed by the disappearing blankets, Komachi opened her mouth to ask about her brother's conversation, but she never got the chance.

"Oh? You guys are already here?"

Oh, they're already awake? I turned around and saw Hiratsuka standing behind the top row of seats. I didn't see anyone else yet, but I assumed they would likely be arriving very soon.

"Good morning, Hiratsuka-sensei!" Isshiki exclaimed with a wave.

"Morning, Isshiki." The teacher walked down the aisle, before stopping at her row. "Oh? I wasn't aware we had a new arrival."

Tsurumi stared at Hiratsuka with narrowed eyes, before they widened. "Aren't you… the one who brought Hachiman to that summer camp?"

"Well, I wasn't expecting you here!" Hiratsuka took a seat next to the girl, rubbing her hair. "Aw, you look so adorable!"

Tsurumi didn't try to move away, but she was glaring at the teacher. "I don't even know your name!"

That made Hiratsuka freeze for a moment. "O-Oh… it's Shizuka Hiratsuka. But you can call me Shizuka-chan if you want!"

Tsurumi narrowed her eyes, before shaking her head. "No thanks. I think I'll just do Hiratsuka for now. But thank you for offering."

For some reason, that made Hiratsuka feel like she had been defeated. "O-Okay then…"

The others and I watched the interaction. Wow, RumiRumi really did that. You know… I feel like if Hiratsuka asked me that same question and I refused, I would have been brutally beaten up. Would that happen if I was a girl? Probably not, but I can't say for sure.

I suddenly saw Hiratsuka swiftly move her attention to me. "Hikigaya, I have a feeling you were thinking something stupid. Can you confirm that for me?"

Esper! Esper! Voice-sama, I'm sure she has had a much more interesting life than me! Violate her privacy rights instead! "No ma'am. I had no such thoughts."

Hiratsuka narrowed her eyes. "I don't like that tone of yours. But since Rumi-chan is here, I'll abstain from giving you your punishment."

Thank you for your mercy! I will not forget this!

As I was about to turn around again, I started hearing more voices. Looks like the others have woken up. Ugh, that means the show will probably continue soon. Woo.

The first group to show up was Hayama's clique. Leading the group was… Kawasomething? Wait, I thought she wasn't in the clique? Don't tell me a loner has been ensnared by Hayama's good looks?!

"Saki-saki! I missed you so much!"

Pestering the blue-haired girl was Ebina. Kawasomething seemed to look irritated. If I had to deal with Ebina's declarations of love for yaoi, I would probably have the exact same look. I'm rooting for you, Kawasomething!

…You know, maybe I should actually remember her name. I'll just have to hope that I don't have to call out her name during the viewing and pray that the name gets revealed during an episode.

After Ebina was Tobe and Hayama, who seemed to be talking about something. I didn't know what, since I was too far away, but it's probably some normie thing I could care less about.

Following them was Miura and… Orimoto? Huh, I knew that she switched seats, but I'm surprised that they're getting along. That… makes me a little happy. What? Even I felt bad for her when she sat all by herself in that corner!

The six of them sat in the same spots they did for the previous episodes. I mean, that's not that surprising. There hasn't been a reason to change seats yet.

Shortly after they sat down (and seemed to ignore us), the silver haired blob and ang- guy entered the theater as well.

"O-Oh! Hello Yui! And Hachiman!" Totsuka waved at both of us. Thank you for not ignoring us! Oh, you fill my heart with joy! E-Er, please forget that. It'll be some time before I can purge those kinds of thoughts completely.

"Ah, Hachiman! It is an excellent day to greet my rival!" Zaimokuza declared dramatically. "I cannot wait to see what endeavors you embark on for today's episode!"

"...Sure," I absentmindedly responded. Look, nothing against Zaimokuza, but sometimes he makes me want to look away in second-hand embarrassment.

Zaimokuza moved to take the same seat as yesterday, but froze when he noticed Tsurumi sitting in it. "...U-Um, who is t-this child?"

The child in question stared at the chuunibyou for a moment. "...You're annoying."

"G-Gah! An unexpected attack!" Zaimokuza grabbed his chest. I rolled my eyes at his exaggeration. "D-Did our glorious Voice-sama summon an enemy to eliminate me?!"

I sighed. "No, Zaimokuza. That's Tsurumi Rumi. Apparently, the voice decided it would be a good idea to bring them here."

"A-Ah." Zaimokuza went silent. "...W-Will I need to sit next to her?"

Tsurumi seemed repulsed by the idea. "No way! I don't wanna sit next to this… guy!"

Zaimokuza dramatically grabbed his chest again. I sighed again. I can't really blame RumiRumi for being so disgusted. Though, in all honesty, I actually feel kinda bad for him. I'd be half-tempted to try sitting next to him, but the voice is weirdly insistent on me sitting here. I'm not sure why though, it's not like sitting somewhere else will change the fact that I'm witnessing my own life.

Also, Komachi and Yukinoshita being my seatmates is an arrangement I'm happy with! Why would anyone want to run away from this?!

"Don't worry about it," Hiratsuka spoke up. "Rumi-chan, do you mind if we switch seats?"

Tsurumi turned to face the teacher for a moment, before meeting with my eyes. Eh? What do I have to do with this? "Mmm… okay."

Hiratsuka nodded, then turned to Totsuka. "Do you also mind moving to the end of the row? Heh, I realized I should have asked that earlier. My bad."

"O-Oh! It's no problem, sensei!"

With that settled, Hiratsuka and RumiRumi switched seats, and the two white-haired teens were sitting one seat over compared to yesterday. Weirdly enough, I swore I saw a hint of disappointment in Tsurumi's eyes. Wonder what that's about?

As this interaction was ongoing, the final two people took their seats in the top row. Both of them looked over the theater.

"My my, everyone seems quite energetic!" Haruno giggled. She, too, was quite excited. Seeing a glimpse into the machinations of Hachiman's mind was something that had interested her greatly. She was rewarded earlier, but she desired more.

Shiromeguri, on the other hand, had a concerned expression. "I-I'm glad everyone's excited. But… I don't like how we're seeing Hikigaya-kun's life without his permission. It feels rude, you know?"

Haruno glanced at Shiromeguri, a neutral expression on her face. "You know, Meguri, I know where you're coming from. It's unfortunate, but I think our overlord isn't going to let us get away with avoiding this. So, we should enjoy ourselves!"

Shiromeguri sighed. "Yeah, I know…"

Haruno returned her focus to the people in front of her. Truly, she wasn't minding this as much as some of the others. Hachiman was someone that had kept her interest for a year, something that very few others have been able to accomplish. She was particularly interested in seeing his thoughts during their first meeting.

Back in the first row, I absentmindedly noticed the two senpais taking their seats on the top row. Pretty sure that means everyone's here. I just gotta wait for the voice to start the stupid show.

"Oh? Is that Tsurumi?" I heard Miura ask suddenly. She leaned forwards in her seat. I'm a little surprised she remembered her name. "Nice to see you again!"

Tsurumi jumped in her seat and turned around in surprise. "...I recognize you."

That made Miura grin. "I'm Yumiko Miura! I'm impressed you remember me!"

"...You're welcome." Tsurumi didn't know what else to say.

"Say, what if-" Miura opened her mouth to say something, but then she stopped herself. "Never mind, all of the seats here are taken…"

Was she about to suggest moving RumiRumi to her row? I highly doubt she would have said yes. Honestly, if the two seats next to me weren't already occupied, I suspected that she would have tried to steal one of them.

Excellent! Everyone has arrived!

All chatter in the theater came to a screeching halt with the arrival of the voice. It was actually impressive how quickly the theater became silent.

I can tell you're all angry at me! Well, most of you, at least! Anyways, I think it's time we get onto the next episode! It's been a while, after all!

It's only been several hours, which isn't "a while." Hell, the rest of my life still wouldn't be long enough!

Enjoy the show!

The screen turned on, fading into a familiar scene.

(A/N: As Crunchyroll took down their official sub, I'm using a different site. I can't tell if it's the official one or not, but I tried multiple sites and this one seemed to be the most… Oregairu-like. I apologize in advance if there are any errors.)

The scene opens to a clock hung on a wall. It quickly switches to show a girl eating a jelly sandwich, who was laying on the living room couch while reading a magazine.

Oh, looks like Komachi's finally being introduced. Frankly, I'm disappointed in whoever made this show for taking so long. She should have been in the first episode!

"Yay! I'm finally here!" Komachi cheered, raising her arms into the air.

Next to her, Isshiki pouted. "I still haven't been introduced… Senpai is really rude…"

"Oi. I don't control who shows up," I retorted. "Otherwise, Komachi would have been in the first episode!"

"Um… What's this about?" Tsurumi asked. Wait, no one told her? Oh, right, Yukinoshita told her we were watching "someone's" life. I guess she doesn't know yet.

Hiratsuka seemed a little surprised. "No one told you?"

Tsurumi shook her head. Then she glared at me, though I wasn't sure why.

Hachiman enters the living / kitchen room with a yawn.

"Oh? Is this your house, Hikigaya-kun?" Shiromeguri called out from the top row.

"Yup," I replied, not turning around. I hope I was loud enough for her to hear me.

Tsurumi looked at the screen, then at me with surprise. "Are you… the person we are watching?"

"Yup," I replied. Unfortunately.

"Using the same reply two times in a row, Hikigaya-kun? My, someone is lazy," Yukinoshita cut in.

Without looking at her, I replied, "There's no point in switching it up. Why waste energy thinking of something else to say?" It doesn't help that I'm not really in the mood to watch this. Though, I am, admittedly, mildly curious what this episode is about. Hopefully it's not something embarrassing…

"Wow," Komachi spoke. Curious, Hachiman walked up to see what she was reading.

"This article looks like it was written for first-graders." The camera panned over a magazine page about girls and guys. "Don't tell me you're seeing things at their level."

"Looks lame," Tsurumi deadpanned. Yikes, even my assumption of that article being for first-graders was off. Then again, you can hardly call Tsurumi an ordinary…. Actually, uh, what grade is she in? She's way beyond a first-grader, isn't she?

Komachi turned around in shock, then looked at me with teary eyes. "Onii-chan! You can't insult my readings! And I don't want to hear those words from a first-grader herself!" She dramatically pointed at Tsurumi.

"What rice-chan said!" Isshiki exclaimed, without pointing. "You can't just insult our livelihoods like that!

"It just means she has good taste," I replied with a smirk. That only made my sister and Isshiki pout, but I had already looked away. If I looked at them for too long, I'd have the uncontrollable urge to apologize, and I don't want to do that!

"I'm not a first grader!" Tsurumi yelled back. "You stupid…" she trailed off with furrowed eyebrows. Wait, are you trying to think of an insult? Sorry RumiRumi, you need to level up to access that ability!

"Don't worry, Komachi-chan, Iroha-chan!" Yuigahama exclaimed suddenly. "I support whatever you're reading!"

"Yay!" Komachi exclaimed back, her "anger" forgotten. Now I don't have to deal with it anymore, so thanks, Yuigahama.

"Yo. Look at the time."

Komachi looks at the clock and sits up straight. "Oh, shoot!" She quickly eats her sandwich and jumps up.

"Wipe your mouth first," Hachiman says as he sits down at the kitchen table.

"Huh? Is it jammed?" Komachi asks as she starts to take off her shirt.

No one better be looking! No one better be looking! No one better be looking!

Thankfully, it seemed like no one was focused on my sister's state of clothing. I'm not sure what I would have done if Tobe said something…

"Is your mouth a machine pistol? That's not how you used 'jammed.'"

"Sometimes the stuff you say doesn't make sense," Komachi says, changing out of her clothes.

"It made sense to me?" Shiromeguri mumbled to herself.

"No, the stuff you-" Hachiman is cut off by her sister's clothes landing on his face.

"Take care of those for me, 'kay?" Komachi says as she runs to her room.

So this is how Hikigaya interacts with his sister, Hayama thought, briefly glancing at the two below him. I already knew they got along very well. But seeing how they interact in private…

Behind him, Haruno watched the screen with glinted eyes. Ooh~! A glimpse into Hikigaya-kun's private life! Though, compared to his thoughts, it's not that interesting. Oh well, I'm sure something will pop up. I haven't been disappointed yet!

"Little sisters are a strange thing," Hachiman thinks as he removes the clothes from his face. "No matter how cute they are, you don't feel anything for them." He stands up to clean up the table in the living room. "Their underwear is nothing but cloth. That's what real little sisters are like," he finishes, grimacing at the magazine from earlier.

Miura makes a disgusted expression. "For some reason, Hikio's words, like, creep me out."

Orimoto laughs. "Haha, I know what you mean."

"Hey, at least he's not a weirdo!" Tobe pointed out. "His taste in women is pretty good!"

That earned him a wordless glare from Miura. "Hey, let's all calm down," Hayama chimed in. "I don't think we need to argue about something like this."

"...Right," Miura turned back to the screen, arms crossed.

Orimoto looked at her seatmate with a neutral expression. Miura is pretty defensive, isn't she? Though, that guy's comment was sort of rude, so I get it.

Down on the first row, I was being subjected to a wordless glare by Yukinoshita. I raised an eyebrow at her behavior. It's not like I said anything wrong there. Eventually, she shifted her attention back to the screen.

Unfortunately, that was when Komachi attacked. "That sentence sounded kind of weird, Onii-chan…"

"What? I didn't say anything weird there," I replied.

"I know I know, but still!"

If you agree with me, then what's the point of speaking up then?

Hachiman walks outside with his school uniform, only to see Komachi waiting on his bike.

"Let's go!"

"Oh, god. Spare me." Hachiman sighs, before hopping onto the bike. Komachi clamps her arms around him.

"You two rode to school together?" Totsuka asked.

I looked at him and nodded. "Her school was on the way, so it was convenient." There was no way I would force my own sister to walk if she didn't have to! Oh, but by riding with me, she doesn't get as much exercise. Oh dear, what a predicament…

Komachi grinned and raised an arm into the air. "Onii-chan did a great job biking! Ah, that must have earned me a ton of Komachi points!"

"You know, I'm pretty impressed, Hikigaya," Hiratsuka cut in. "Riding a bike with someone holding on your back is no easy feat."

"Ho ho, as expected of Hachiman!" Zaimokuza declared with a smirk.

Eh? Is it really that impressive? Huh, I sounded a little humble there. Who would have thought? Anyways, I'd been doing that with Komachi a lot, so I guess I just got used to it.

"Thanks," I replied. It feels nice being complimented for once, even if I don't think it's entirely warranted. But I'll take it!

Yukinoshita opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it. She wasn't entirely sure what she wanted to say. Yuigahama also intended to say something, but the others had beaten her to the punch.

"Don't get hit by a car today. I'm riding too, you know."

It was subtle, but the wording of that statement didn't go unnoticed. More specifically, Hayama and Haruno had caught onto it. The older Yukinoshita had already known about the car accident, so she simply dismissed it.

Hayama, on the other hand, perked up. I want to say that was a joke, but I have a feeling that Komachi-san might be referring to something else. Will we see more of Hikigaya-kun's past?

I had also caught it (I was there, duh), but I wasn't sure if the others did. Oh jeez, why do I have a feeling that the car accident is gonna be brought up soon? That's going to be annoying to deal with…

"So you're fine with it if I get hit when I'm alone?"

Komachi sighs. "Onii-chan, I just worry about you because sometimes you, like, totally space out." She suddenly grins. "Oh, that scores pretty high in my book!"

Yukinoshita smirks. "My, Hikigaya-kun, even your sister has noticed your empty-headedness."

Oi… that's cruel of you to say that, partner-san. You shouldn't be saying such things to the person you're dating, you knooowwwww?

"Don't worry, Onii-chan! Even if you space out, I'll still support you!" Komachi exclaimed. "Ah, that's even more points for me!"

Tsurumi looked back and forth between Komachi and I. "What does she mean by points?" she asks, cutting into the conversation.

"Ehh… I don't think I know either," Isshiki joined in, giving me a pout. "Senpai, why haven't you explained this?!"

I sighed. "You didn't ask." Which was fine by me, but I suppose I'll have to explain it now.

"Oh… teehee~" Isshiki playfully bonked her head. She pulls that move off pretty well, eh? Too bad that I don't care.

I rolled my eyes and focused my attention on RumiRumi. "Anyways, it's just a little game between me and Komachi. We 'claim points' if we say something nice about the other person. That's all." A gross simplification, but I'd rather not give more information than necessary.

"So… it's a sibling thing?"

I shrugged, turning to face the screen again. "I guess, though I haven't heard of anyone else doing it." The day Haruno and Yukinoshita start talking about "points" to each other is the day pigs fly.

Tsurumi nodded and put her attention back on the screen. She didn't have any siblings, but for some reason, the idea of doing something like that with Hachiman was… appealing.

Kawasaki overheard the conversation below, which got her thinking. I never thought of doing something with Taishi or Keika, but maybe I could start. Ah, but I feel like Taishi wouldn't be comfortable with that. Keika might jump for joy at that though, especially if I mention Hikigaya somehow.

Hachiman sweatdropped, before looking forward.  "On the day I was supposed to start high school, I was involved in a car accident."

The atmosphere in the theater suddenly became much more serious.

Ah.

Shit.

When I said that I had a feeling this was going to be brought up soon, I didn't mean this soon! Where's the mystery factor?!

Next to me, Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, and Komachi tensed up. They remained silent, but it was obvious something was up.

In the back, Haruno's expression went neutral. Those that knew her well might have found that out of character, but that was not the case. After all, Hikigaya-kun was going to be her sister-in-law. It didn't help that it was her family's car that caused the accident.

Hayama sat up straight, his eyes gaining a glint in them. Hikigaya-kun was involved in a car accident? I wasn't aware of that…

No one said anything, as the theater wanted to know what happened.

The screen shows a scene of a younger Hachiman biking.  "I was so excited to start high school, that I left home an hour early."

That got a small chuckle out of myself, but no one else found that funny. Eh, that's to be expected, considering the atmosphere right now. Still can't believe I got up that early for anything back then…

As he bikes, a girl and her dog are walking on the other side of the road. Suddenly, the dog escapes the girl's leash and chases a butterfly into the road.

Hachiman stops biking with concern on his face. At the same time, a black car speeds down the road. The dog stands in the middle of the road, not realizing the danger it's in. The car beeps, but the dog makes no move.

"Eeeeek!" Shiromeguri cries out. "Not the dog!"

"Please live, mysterious dog!" Tobe also cried out, holding his hands as if he were praying.

Next to him, Miura narrowed her eyes. Huh, that sort of looks like Yui's dog. She glanced at Yui, then Hachiman, before returning her focus to the screen. I wonder…?

Hachiman suddenly rushes forward, before the screen goes black with the sound of a car crashing into something. When the screen returns, the bike is laid on the ground with a single wheel spinning.

The theater went silent.

…

This is a little too quiet for my liking… I turned around, half worried that everyone behind me had mysteriously disappeared.

"Is he dead?!" Tobe shouted out, startling everyone. Uh, are you stupid? Oh wait, it's Tobe.

"Are you an idiot?!" Miura shouted back, standing up and glaring at the orange-haired idiot. "Hikio's down there!"

"Eep! Sorry, miss!"

And you!" She pointed at my face. "Are you an idiot?!"

I blinked in surprise. Me? An idiot?

"Why would you jump in the way to save a dog?!"

That's a great question, Miura. Maybe my body moved before I could even think? Er, I'm not a green-haired quirkless teenager, nor an edgy ninja kid, so that can't be it…

Or is it?

Ah, I'm not gonna think about it. I shrugged at Miura.

The blonde-haired girl stared at me in surprise. "You…" She looked like she wanted to say something else, but she didn't voice it. Instead, she sat back in her seat, arms crossed and looking grumpy. What's her deal?

Her clique and Orimoto stared at her in surprise. "Um… are you okay?" Orimoto asked.

"I'm fine," Miura replied unconvincingly. She idly tapped a finger on her elbow.

Orimoto sweatdropped. Yeah, right. Is she mad at Hikigaya? She glanced at the teenager in question. I wasn't expecting him to get into a car accident on the first day of high school. And all because he jumped to save a dog… I never thought he was like this. That's… kind of cool.

The scene changes again to Hachiman reading a light novel with bandages wrapped around his head. He is shown to be in a hospital.  "As a result, I broke my leg and was hospitalized. That was the moment my life as a loner began."

The girls sitting in the front row all felt a pain in their hearts at that sight. Even I felt disturbed, and that's really saying something! Maybe it's seeing myself from a third-person perspective?

"Onii-chan, you better not get in a car accident again!" Komachi leaned into my seat, staring at me.

I leaned back slightly and raised an eyebrow. "Oi, that's not something I can control." I highly doubt I'll be the one at fault if that ever happened. If anything, the car would deliberately go after me!

Komachi pouted and looked away, crossing her arms. How cute.

The flashback ends and we are shown Hachiman walking his bike, with Komachi talking to him. "Oh, right. After the accident, the puppy's owner came by to thank you. She brought you snacks. They were really good!"

"I'm pretty sure I didn't get any snacks," Hachiman replies. That caused Komachi to freeze in place, before bonking her head playfully. "She pisses me off so much."

"Komachi-chan!" Yuigahama exclaimed, pouting at my sister.

Komachi uncrossed her arms and scratched her cheek. "Hehehe… sorry about that, Yui-san!" She put her hands together. "Please forgive me!"

The pink haired girl tried to look angry (and failed), before she giggled. "Hehe, it's alright! It's been a long time anyway!"

Little did those two know, their conversation confused much of the theater. "Um, what are you two talking about?" Isshiki questioned.

Komachi looked confused. "What do you- ohhh." She realized what she meant. You silly airheaded sister of mine. "Hehe, um… Onii-chan, you explain!"

"Oi? Why should I do it?" This is your responsibility! Actually, it would be Yuigahama's responsibility, but it would be really awkward for her to explain. Sigh, do I have to? "Fine."

Before I can get a word out of my mouth, Miura abruptly speaks up first. "Yui was the girl in that accident right?"

"Ehh?!" Shiromeguri widened her eyes. "How could you know that, Miura-san?!"

"Like I could forget what Yui's dog looked like," she replied with a roll of her eyes. "And, like, the way Hikio's sister acted was pretty suspicious."

Bravo, Miura. Now all she has left is to figure out who was in that car and she'll have the entire mystery solved!

Yuigahama sheepishly rubbed her head. "Hehe, yeah, that was me."

Isshiki widened her eyes. "So Yui-san and Senpai met on the first day?"

"Erm, not really? Hikki didn't see who I was…"

Isshiki blinked, then glared at me. "How did you not see her?!"

"Why the hell would I be focused on Yuigahama?" I retorted with some frustration. "I was a bit busy focusing on saving her dog." Oops, I put a little too much bite in there. Oh well, it was a stupid question anyways.

Yukinoshita must have noticed my frustration, because she suddenly joined the conversation. "Isshiki-san, I would recommend shying away from such questions. This is a personal manner for Hikigaya-kun."

Isshiki suddenly looked a little guilty. "Oh… well, blame this stupid voice guy for bringing it up! And, um, sorry senpai."

Well, I'm glad she apologized. "All good," I replied.

Zaimokuza, who had remained quiet, had wanted to say something, but even he had the social presence to know that it would likely be unwelcome. So, he remained silent. The same went for Totsuka.

"But you know, the owner went to your school, so maybe you've met her?" Komachi runs to stand in front of Hachiman. "She said she'd thank you at school!"

"Why didn't you tell me? Did you get her name?"

Komachi nervously averted her glance away. "I forgot… Oh, hey, we're at school! See you after school!" She gave Hachiman a mock salute. "Thanks Onii-chan!"

"Komachi-chan didn't remember me…" Yuigahama mumbled, a depressive aura surrounding her.

"Ahh! Sorry, Yui-san!" Komachi bowed towards her (which was somewhat difficult in a theater seat). "I was just worried about Onii-chan!"

The depressive aura disappeared. "Oh, it's okay! I was just joking!" Yuigahama rapidly waved her arms.

"Don't worry, Yui-san, I'll be sure to make it up to you!" Komachi exclaimed, seemingly ignoring her comment.

Hachiman stared at her, then stared at the bag in his bike basket, then back at Komachi. Surely enough, Komachi came back crying, "Onii-chan!"

Hachiman sighs.  "What an airhead."

OPENING PLAYS

It's only the fourth episode, yet I'm already getting sick of this opening. It's not even a bad opening either, especially since I'm in it. Maybe I'm just sick of watching my privacy being violated. Hey, how many times have I complained about that now?

Once again, Zaimokuza immediately began analyzing the opening. That makes it four times now. You'd think that he would be done doing that, but nope.

"Onii-chan, you can't call me an airhead!" Komachi suddenly exclaimed, sticking her tongue out at me. "That's really low on points!"

"I don't lie," I smoothly replied. For some reason, that only caused her to pout. Ah shit, that's too cute…

Next thing I knew, my hand was on her head. Oops, Onii-chan mode got activated. Komachi blinked in surprise, before looking away. "Stupid Onii-chan…" she muttered. Oi, I don't see you asking to remove my hand.

Hey, what if I use this on Yukinoshita? I can't tell if she would either get too embarrassed to do anything, or curse my entire bloodline. I really hope it's the former…

Ah well, no point in thinking about hypotheticals. There's no way Yukinoshita would…

My thoughts trailed off as I turned to face the girl in question, only to see her looking at my hand with… a strange expression. I raised an eyebrow at her behavior.

"Hikigaya-kun, may I ask why you are resting your hand on Komachi-san's head?" Yukinoshita asked. To my surprise, it didn't sound disgusted, unlike all of the other times when she used that phrase. Is she actually curious? Also, why didn't you ask this earlier?

"Instinct," I replied by accident. "Wait, let me explain! Komachi wasn't that brave as a kid, so I tended to comfort her with a headpat. I don't really do it a lot anymore though."

Yukinoshita seemed to consider that. "How… intriguing." She looked away from me with a hand on her chin. Is she thinking about Haruno? "Then, would you mind demonstrating?"

…Eh?

"Uh," I turned to face my right hand, which still rested on Komachi's head. "I'm already demonstrating?" She can't mean-

"You know what I am referring to," Yukinoshita cut off my thoughts. To make matters worse (?), she moved her head closer to me. What the hell?! How are you not embarrassed at your behavior?! I sense an inconsistency!

…Well, there's nothing wrong with giving her a headpat, right? With some hesitation (and a mildly red face), I placed my left hand on her hair. Ack, it's soft!

Yukinoshita blinked, her face slowly turning a little red. "...Interesting."

Aside from the sound of the opening playing, the rest of the theater was silent, though I could definitely feel stares aimed right at us. This is really embarrassing! Don't you guys have something better to do?! Er, wait, they probably don't.

Hiratsuka smirked. "Look at you two acting so lovey-dovey."

That seemed to finally snap Yukinoshita out of her mood. She moved so fast that it looked like she had teleported. "I-I apologize for my behavior, Hikigaya-kun," she mumbled, refusing to meet my eyes.

That… was weird. Not that I hated it, but Yukinoshita was definitely acting a little bolder than usual. Maybe giving Komachi a headpat reminded her of cats or something. Actually, that's probably it. Anytime cats or Pan-san are brought up, she becomes much more interested in whatever is going on.

"Hikki!" Yuigahama exclaimed, snapping me out of my thoughts. "I wanna know what that's like too!"

I raised an eyebrow at her. "...The headpat?"

"Yeah!" As if she realized what she said, Yuigahama suddenly blushed. "N-Not that it has to be from you, of course! B-But, um-"

"If you would like, Yuigahama-san, I-I would be willing to provide a… headpat," Yukinoshita interrupted her, sounding mildly embarrassed.

"Really Yukinon?! Thanks a lot!"

I debated listening/watching further, before deciding against it. Rather, I turned my focus behind me to RumiRumi. You know, I wonder how she's handling this. I opened my mouth to ask her, but then I stopped myself. Why? Well, even I know it's probably a bad idea to ask someone their opinion on a show where the only thing that's happened is a discussion on a car crash.

Unfortunately, Tsurumi already noticed my movement and gave me a questioning look. I met her eyes, unsure what to do. Eh, I'll just give her a thumbs up.

Tsurumi looked at my hand with confusion, before hesitantly giving one of her own. I chuckled to myself before turning around to face the screen again. I'm sure that'll confuse her for a bit.

Huh, the opening's almost over. Woo, I can't wait…

In the third row, Hayama was silent. Several realizations spontaneously struck him. That was their car, wasn't it? There's no way I would miss that. Then, that means…

He glanced at the raven-haired girl in the first row, who was still giving Yuigahama a headpat. He silently chuckled to himself. Hah, even before the service club began, their fates were all intertwined. It's almost like they were meant to have met each other.

Throughout the rest of the opening, the others either remained silent or engaged in their own conversations. Those conversations died down as the opening music faded away.

The screen shows a shot of the faculty room, panning over the teachers. "A wise man once said, 'When you work, you lose.' To labor is to take on risk and obtain a return."

Hey look, it's my iconic quote! Er, I mean, wow, what a stupid quote.

Hiratsuka groaned. "Ugh. I forgot I had to read this." Her hand rubbed against her forehead. "I lost several brain cells reading that crap."

Yukinoshita smirked. "Considering Hikigaya-kun's previous essays, that fact does not surprise me in the slightest."

"I've already lost several brain cells just hearing that quote," Isshiki offered.

What is this? Bully Hachiman day?

Hachiman's work study form is shown with his information. "Thus, my decision not to work and instead enter the household is not only valid, but also absolutely and positively legitimate."

I heard someone snort. Who did that?!

Hiratsuka is shown sitting on a couch while reading the form. "And so, for the upcoming workplace visit, I wish to visit my own home, where a full-time stay-at-home husband does his work." The camera shows Hachiman sitting on another couch, fidgeting his fingers as Hiratsuka reads the form out loud.

For a moment, the theater was unnaturally silent. Then Haruno erupted into laughter. At the same time, those around me sighed disappointedly.

"Did he seriously think that something like that would get past Hiratsuka-sensei?" I overheard Kawasomething say. Wow, that's really cruel of you to say, name-I-forget-chan.

"Well, isn't it obvious, Saki-saki?" Ebina giggled. Had I looked back, I would have seen her expression and been scarred for life. "He's planning to become the perfect house husband for Hayato once they-"

"You will NOT finish that sentence," Kawasaki replied in a very scary tone. Oh god, I'm two rows away and I feel like I'm at the foot of the gates of hell. Look, I'm even using Christian concepts even though I'm not a Christian! Er, they're not the only ones with the concept of hell and a single god, but I digress.

"A-Aye aye!" Ebina saluted with a stutter.

No one else spoke, presumably because everyone was terrified of Kawasaki's tone. Well, that or because the show of my life continued.

Suddenly, Hiratsuka dramatically rests her feet on the table in front of the couches. A purple aura surrounds her body. "You  do  know what I'm going to say," her hand curls up into a fist, "don't you?"

Hiratsuka smirked. "They gave me some nice effects. Imagine if I had those while teaching."

That's one of the scariest scenarios I've ever heard! Please never suggest such a thing ever again!

"I'll rewrite it! Please don't hit me!" Hachiman says, backing up into his seat as far as possible.

"Pfft. Look how scared Hikio looks!" Miura exclaimed smugly.

Tobe shivered in his seat. "I dunno Yumiko, I'd be terrified if Hiratsuka-sensei gave me that look! Actually, how aren't you terrified?" he asked the blonde girl.

Miura shrugged. "Eh, I'm sure the screen is, like, exaggerating it. Besides, only Hikio makes her angry enough to act like that."

Orimoto giggled. "I still can't believe how funny Hikigaya is! I wonder if he would drive my teacher crazy!"

"He really does have his own sense of doing things," Hayama commented with a smile. Those words earned him a confused glance from Miura. He didn't elaborate on his words, so she slowly moved her attention back to the screen.

"You got that right. I thought you had changed." Hiratsuka puts her feet back on the floor. "Hasn't the time you've spent in the Service Club changed you at all?"

I snorted. At that point, barely anything happened. The "big" stuff hadn't happened yet, so I didn't really feel terribly close to the club members yet. Also, I was still looking for ways to get out of the Service Club. I would have gleefully moved on with my life if it had disbanded at that point.

"My motto is to accomplish what I set out to do and all," Hachiman said, returning back to his previous position.

A vein was shown popping on Hiratsuka-sensei's forehead.

"…so my only option is to beat you up after all, huh? People beat each other up on TV whenever they want to get a move on with the story."

"Should a teacher really be saying that?" Tsurumi questioned.

Hiratsuka flinched. "E-Erm, it's just how we get along!"

Tsurumi looked at Hiratsuka questioningly. "...I don't know why, but I don't believe you."

Those words dealt massive damage to the teacher, and she slumped in her seat. "A child… not believing me…"

Well done, RumiRumi! You've done something that very few have accomplished! I'm so proud of you!

"N-n-no, you can't do that to my delicate body. And anyway, the shows on TV lately have been light on violence, y'know. It really shows your age!"

"There he goes again," Kawasaki, Yukinoshita, and Komachi mumbled.

"Why you…! Shocking First Bullet!"

Bonk.

"…urk."

Hiratsuka's fist is shown embedded in Hachiman's stomach. He collapses in his seat. "If you don't want to taste my Annihilating Second Bullet, you'd better not say another word."

"Please spare me your Terminating Last Bullet too," Hachiman weakly calls out.

Hiratsuka smiles. "I like men who are quick to understand."

The reminder of her victory against Hachiman made the teacher sit up in her seat again.

"You know, senpai, you've mentioned Hiratsuka-sensei's age a lot already," Isshiki said with a teasing grin. "Are you sure you're not a masochist?"

I sighed. "I already explained this earlier. No, I am not a masochist."

"Uh, d-did you?" Surprisingly, Totsuka was the one who brought it up. "U-Um, I d-don't remember you d-denying it e-earlier?"

Totsuka?! Don't tell me your memory is degrading… wait, shit, he might be right. I think I only denied it in my head. Oh dear, did Isshiki think I was a masochist this whole time?!

"Totsuka-san is correct," Yukinoshita confirmed. Then she smirked. "Perhaps it is not too surprising to find that Hikigaya-kun would find joy in the misery placed on him."

"Yeah yeah, my memory is failing me. The point is, I'm not a masochist!" I furiously denied. I will never acknowledge it for as long as I live! And I don't need to, because it's not true!

Hiratsuka chuckled to herself and crossed her arms, remaining silent. Hikigaya-kun's already getting his punishment from his seatmates. No need to add to it.

The teacher taps the remains of a cigarette into an ashtray. "Anyway, you're rewriting your workplace visit survey. Oh, and I forgot to tell you." Hiratsuka puts a cigarette in her mouth. "The workplace visit's going to be in groups of three. It's on you to pick who you want to go with, so start thinking of a few people."

"I certainly wouldn't want my classmates to defile my sweet home," Hachiman countered.

Hiratsuka sighed. "Are you still going on about being a househusband?"

"Hikigaya-kun, I am… curious," Yukinoshita began, "Do you truly want to be a h-househusband?"

Huh? Well, uh, hm. I mean, nothing else has piqued my interest. Is that a bad thing? But…

"Obviously, I'd like to, but I'm willing to leave my options open," I explained. With living costs, it might be difficult to find a place on a single person's income. Then again, if it's Yukinoshita, that shouldn't be an issue. Er, not like it'll be her, as much as I'd like that! Ha ha…

Yukinoshita slowly nodded. "I will keep that in mind."

She'll keep that in mind? As in she'll destroy my ideal later, or help make it come true? One of them is depressing, and the other is really embarrassing.

"Whatever choice you make, Hachiman, I will support you!" Zaimokuza suddenly declared. "With your abilities, I believe you will succeed in any endeavor you choose!"

That's… pretty good encouragement actually. But I didn't need that from you. That said, "Thanks Zaimokuza," was what I said out loud.

"Y-Yeah, what Yoshiteru said!" Totsuka piped up. Y'know, it just sounds like you're piggybacking off Zaimokuza's encouragement. But it's Totsuka, so that can't be true! Still, I responded with a thumbs up.

Hachiman worriedly looks at his form, before the scene switches to the service club. He opens the door to a waiting Yukinoshita, who appears to be reading a book. He puts his bag by his chair and prepares to sit down.

"You didn't run into her?" Yukinoshita asks.

Hachiman looks confused. "Into who?"

"There you are!" Yuigahama exclaims, barging into the clubroom.

For some reason, I thought of Yukinoshita barging into the clubroom like that. I nearly snorted, but managed to hold it in. I feel like, even if it was an emergency, she would still look composed on the outside. Then again, nothing that serious has happened yet. Or ever will, hopefully.

Hachiman looked confused. "What?"

Yukinoshita sighs. "You were taking your sweet time to come to the clubroom, so we had to go look for you. Well, Yuigahama-san did."

"You don't need to stress that you didn't by specifying her name. I know."

Yuigahama crossed her arms and looked away. "I even went around asking people if they'd seen you. And everyone was like 'Who's Hikigaya?'" She then gets into Hachiman's face. "It was totally awkward!"

Yuigahama put a finger on her chin. "I wonder what kind of response that question would get now?"

"I'd expect something a lot different," Hiratsuka replied. "He did help set up the proms, not to mention how much of a story Yukinoshita dating him was."

"There's also the cultural festival," I pointed out. "Er, the one from last year."

For some reason, that made Yuigahama look uncomfortable. I'm joking, I know exactly the reason why. "Hikki…"

"Sorry about that," I replied, "But you do know that some people still think about that, right?"

"Well, yeah, but… it's just difficult to think about, y'know?"

I shrugged. "Just answering your question."

"Unfortunately, he is correct," Yukinoshita agreed. "I have heard my classmates remarking about that incident when Hikigaya-kun's name was brought up."

Yuigahama sighed. "Yeah…"

Maybe I should have stayed silent? Eh, not like it's a big deal.

"Well, sorry," Hachiman says with a sweatdrop.

"Well, not like it matters," Yuigahama says, looking away again. "But, um…" The girl twindles her fingers together. "Give me your number?"

Haruno giggled to herself. "Look at her being so forward!"

Next to her, Shiromeguri gasped dramatically. "I can't believe she would do that! Yukinoshita-san must have really challenged her if she was able to get to Hikigaya-kun first!"

That statement made Haruno laugh even harder. "Hahaha! That's pretty far from the truth, Meguri!"

"Oh, is it?" Shiromeguri looked at the ceiling. "I-"

"EHH?!" Komachi exclaimed, leaning over my seat to stare at Yuigahama in (fake) wonder. "I didn't know you were so bold, Yui-san!" With her shouting, she accidentally ended all of the other conversations.

"H-Huh?! N-No! I just didn't want to run around looking for Hikki!" The pink haired girl protested while waving her arms around.

"I mean, like, it's totally weird to have to run around looking for you, and embarrassing too!" Yuigahama tries to explain her motivations. "And getting asked what kind of relationship we're in is like… totally wrong."

"See!" Yuigahama pointed at the screen, before becoming slightly bashful. "And, um, especially now…"

"A wise move, indeed!" Zaimokuza suddenly declared with arms crossed. "By obtaining Hachiman's contact information, you will be able to notify him of any concerns that arise!"

"That's the point, genius," I snarked out. Oops, that was harsh. Eh, he deserved it for saying something so obvious.

"G-Gah! A v-valid point, lord Hachiman!"

Lord Hachiman? It does have a nice ring to it…

"U-Um, anyways, that's the reason I wanted Hikki's number!" Yuigahama exclaimed. For some reason, she was blushing.

"Hmm…" Komachi gave the pink-haired girl a suspicious look. She opened her mouth to say something-

"Can we move on? I'm not really in the mood to hear you guys argue about why Yuigahama wanted my number," I cut in. I just knew Komachi was going to say something that would counter what she said.

"Boo! Onii-chan's ruining my fun!" Komachi stuck her tongue out, before glancing at Yuigahama. "Fine, but I won't let this go Yui-san!" We both know what your feelings for Onii-chan are! And even if Yuki-nee is with him right now, I'll make sure you confess your feelings!

Yuigahama glared at Komachi, but didn't respond.

"Fine by me," Hachiman says without complaint. For a moment, Yuigahama looks excited.

Komachi gave a knowing grin to the pink-haired girl, but Yuigahama pretended to have missed it.

He gives Yuigahama his phone. "You want me to enter it?" Yuigahama asked. "And I'm kind of surprised that you'd hand your phone to someone like that."

"Meh, there's no problem if you see what's on my phone. I only get mails from my sister and Amazon, anyway."

"Whoa! Seriously?! And wait - Amazon?!"

"Leave me alone…"

"Isn't that pretty sad?" Kawasaki said out loud.

Ebina gasped dramatically. "Wow, Saki-Saki, you're so harsh!"

Kawasaki blinked. "Crap, did I say that outloud? Uh, s-sorry Hikigaya!" She shouted that last part.

"Eh, it's fine," I replied without looking back. Not like she's wrong, though I sometimes preferred it back then.

"Weren't you a loner back then too, Saki-Saki?" Ebina asked.

"Er, no?"

"..."

"...Okay, maybe I was. What's your point?"

Ebina smirked. "Tell me, how many contacts did you have last year?"

Kawasaki did not respond. Rather, she turned her focus to the screen, pretending that she didn't hear her friend's words. Ebina pouted, but she didn't pester her any further.

Yuigahama proceeds to type the number into her own phone, her fingers moving at a frantic phase. "You're fast with those buttons," Hachiman observes.

"I'm average. And, like, you sure your fingers aren't just weak because you don't have anyone to text?"

Miura barked out a laugh. "Ha! I didn't know Yui could roast someone. You go girl!"

"Hikigaya really got burned there!" Orimoto said with a giggle.

Ha ha ha. Attack the loner who doesn't text anyone. Go ahead! In the end, I've got a partner, and you guys don't! Weak fingers means nothing to me!

Totsuka glanced down at his hands. "I-Is that speed really average? I must be really behind…"

"I-I was exaggerating!" Yuigahama frantically added, waving her arms. "I'm sure that the average speed is much lower than that!"

"For the average person, Yuigahama-san is correct," Yukinoshita cut in. "However, the speed for a high-schooler is likely to be much higher. Thus, her original claim may not be inaccurate."

"Yukinon! I was trying to be nice…" Yuigahama pouted.

"If anything, that's just proof that Totsuka isn't addicted to his phone," I wisely pointed out. "Er, not that you're addicted, Yuigahama, but you're definitely on it a lot." I wouldn't be surprised if she was addicted, honestly.

"Hikki, you're not helping!"

"How rude. I texted girls in middle school, you know."

The next moment, Yuigahama drops Hachiman's phone with a shocked expression. "No way…"

Komachi smirked evilly in Yuigahama's direction. That only made the girl blush, though most of the theater didn't notice the interaction.

"Eh? What's got Yui so surprised?" Miura asked concernedly.

"Hey! That's my phone!" Hachiman scolds Yuigahama.

"Oh, sorry. I just couldn't imagine you with girls," she explains, going down to pick up his phone.

Understanding filled Miura's eyes. "Ohh, yeah that, like, totally makes sense. I'd probably act the same if I heard that from Hikio."

Oi! You haven't earned the right to mock me! Only a few members of the super-exclusive Hachiman Loyalty Club can do that! Wait, what kind of name is that?

"Maybe senpai and Yukino-san have been pranking us this entire time?" Isshiki chimed up.

I opened my mouth to mock her words, but I was beaten by Yukinoshita, who suddenly became very scary. "I implore you to cease that notion, Isshiki-san," she spoke coldly.

"O-Of course!" Isshiki immediately backed off. "Y-You two would never lie about something like that! Haha!"

…Was Yukinoshita bothered by the idea of us not actually dating? Or was she just bothered by the idea of lying? Somehow, I feel like both of those are true.

Hachiman crosses his arms. "What, are you stupid?" The scene suddenly changes to a flashback. "You see, when we changed classes, I took out my phone and looked around the room."

Instead of complaining like I usually do, I simply sighed loudly. Maybe if I'm lucky, this one won't be very incriminating.

"Thanks," A girl said in the flashback, before noticing Hachiman standing in front of her. He makes a creepy smile, making the girl nervously look away. "I-I guess we should exchange numbers…"

"At the very least, I was that social," Hachiman explains confidently.

"...U-Um, that wasn't v-very social, Hachiman…" Totsuka nervously pointed out.

Miura scoffed. "Pfft. She was just being 'nice.' That barely even counts as a social interaction!"

"Trust me, I was well aware of that," I shot back. And still am, obviously, though I'm cringing at my past self acting like he wasn't aware. Probably wanted to make myself look better than I did. Then again, I don't remember this part very well. I only remember when Hayama eventually came in about that chain letter.

I wasn't aware of it, but Miura glared at my back before returning her focus to the screen. At the same time, Orimoto suddenly felt a brief pang of guilt from Hachiman's words. But… what could she do about it?

…That'll be a bridge she'll cross later.

"'I guess', huh?" Yukinoshita speaks up. "Sometimes, kindness can be cruel."

"Hey, don't look down on me!" Hachiman retorts. "I texted her after that, you know?"

"What kind of girl was she?" Yuigahama asks.

Hachiman seems surprised for a second, before going into his explanation. "She was a very healthy and reserved girl." He made several arm motions as he explained. "I mean, I'd text her at 7pm, and she replied the next morning, 'Sorry, I was asleep. See you at school.' She was that healthy."

"...Are you being a dumbass on purpose?" Kawasaki couldn't help but ask.

"Like I said, I was well aware of her intentions," I replied. Also, don't say that around RumiRumi! She's too young to hear the terrible and horrible words we call swears.

Yuigahama looks away with a tear in her eye. "That's, like…"

"She pretended to be asleep and ignored your text," Yukinoshita interrupted. "Hikigaya-kun, stop averting your eyes from reality. It's time to face the facts," she finishes with a smile.

Hachiman stares at her with a bewildered expression, before standing up. "Oh, I'm way ahead of you." He takes his phone from Yuigahama. "I understand reality so well I could write a Hikipedia article about it."

"What's Hikipedia?" Tsurumi asked.

"It's just Hikigaya here thinking he's being clever by using Hikipedia instead of Wikipedia," Hiratsuka explained, glaring at me for some reason.

"Oh." Tsurumi turned to face me. "That's pretty lame, Hachiman."

"I don't need to hear that from you…" Being called lame by a child is pretty sad, isn't it? Ah, but if that happened to Hayama, I'd be a happy man.

Tobe seemed confused by Hachiman's words on-screen, before he understood. "Ah! That's pretty clever!"

Ebina's eyes gained a glint. "Hmm, I wonder if this Hikipedia site would have a section on yaoi- stop giving that scary glare, Saki-Saki!"

"You do remember what I said, right?"

"I didn't ship those two! I just wondered if it had a section about yaoi! Wikipedia has one, so why not this site?"

Just overhearing that conversation was making me lose brain cells. Why is my clever wordplay the thing getting all of the attention? Well, at least my flashback went mostly ignored.

Hachiman looks at the contacts on his phone before landing on Yuigahama's name, which is surrounded by heart emojis.

"What the hell?! No matter how you slice it, this text reeks of spam!"

"Hikki! So rude!" Yuigahama exclaimed with a pout.

"I'm afraid he is correct," Yukinoshita commented. "I fear that I would assume the worst, had that been input into my phone."

"Yukinon!"

Meanwhile, Zaimokuza leaned down to loudly whisper to me. "Hachiman, you must not fall for it! It's a trap!"

"If I saw someone with that name that wasn't Yuigahama, I'd obviously suspect the worst, Zaimokuza," I replied. Then, to add a bit of flair, "Your lack of faith… disturbs me."

The chuunibyou leaned back, satisfied. "Of course, I should have known that you would see through it! I apologize for my lack of faith, Lord Hachiman!"

"It's all good." Speaking with Zaimokuza is such a chore, yet I can't help but find it… enjoyable? I can't tell if it's the remnants of middle school me, or something else.

Behind me, Miura grumbled to herself, "What's wrong with what Yui used?"

"Ehh, I kinda see what Hikigaya meant," Orimoto replied, making Miura jump slightly. "It sort of does look like something I'd see in a scam message."

Miura looked at the screen again. "...I guess I can see it."

Yuigahama looks at her phone, before sighing with a concerned expression. Yukinoshita seems to notice this and looks away from her book. "Is something wrong?"

"Huh? N-No, nothing's wrong," Yuigahama responds. "I just got this weird text and was thinking, like, what?"

"Oh! I remember this!" Yuigahama exclaimed.

Yukinoshita looked confused for a moment, before she remembered as well. "Ah, yes. Thankfully, this event is fairly insignificant in the long run."

Yukinoshita goes back to reading. "Hikigaya-kun, if you don't want to be taken to court in the near future, I suggest you refrain from sending such obscene texts."

"Are you accusing me of sexual harassment?" Hachiman retorts with crossed arms. "Show me the evidence! Evidence!"

"That sounds like something, the culprit would say, right Hikigaya-kun~?" Haruno called out from the top row.

"Gee, like I haven't heard that before," I sarcastically responded.

"Eh?" Totsuka sounded confused. I simply pointed at the screen.

"We can take what you just said as evidence." Hachiman seems mildly taken back by her statement. "In situations like these, the culprit will say something along those lines. 'Where's the evidence? A very curious deduction. You could make a name for yourself as a mystery writer. Like I could be in the same room as the murderer!'"

"Funny how both of the Yukinoshitas are on the same line of thought?" I smirked. "Also, she got that last line wrong."

"That last one was a victim's line," Hachiman counters. "And he's calling for his own death there."

"Was it, really?"

I proudly crossed my arms. Kind of weird how my memory kicked in for that scene though. It's probably just Haruno annoying me as usual, so my brain had to show her up.

"Fufufu~. You got me there!" Haruno giggled. For some reason, that just made my good mood go away. Dammit, you can't sound defeated for once?

Yukinoshita smiled. "I applaud you for your memory, Hikigaya-kun. Though, the fact you remembered those details may signify something disturbing. Perhaps I should call the police to arrest you?"

"Sure, you could do that, but that would mean that you won't be able to see me," I countered. "I fear that you might get a bit lonely."

Yukinoshita's face went a bit red. "W-Well, while that could be a concern, I do have Yuigahama-san. You, on the other hand, will have no familiarities with anyone in prison. Perhaps you will get lonely before I do."

"Ha! Once I've received my trial, they'll find out that all of the evidence was forged and that I'm an innocent man! I won't be there for long, and even if I end up being alone, as a professional loner, I'm an expert in being alone!" Well, to be fair, I still had Komachi to come home to back then. I wouldn't even have that in prison.

Yukinoshita smirked. "Preposterous. My testimony would be so convincing, the jury would have no choice but to prosecute you. There'll be nothing you can do about that."

I opened my mouth to respond- "Stop flirting with each other!" Isshiki cried out. "We have a show to watch!"

Her words made us both blush. I didn't mean to get caught up in the moment, but I was having fun retorting her words. Oh dear, was that actually flirting? That's embarrassing! Kyah~!

…Never make that sound again, brain.

"Well, I don't think Hikki did it," Yuigahama chimes in, walking towards Yukinoshita.

"Your evidence?" Yukinoshita counters.

Yuigahama giggles. "Well, like… It's about people in my class. So, Hikki can't have anything to do with it!"

"Yeah, that makes a lot of sense!" Komachi exclaimed.

There was a general tone of agreement around the theater. I'm actually disturbed by how everyone is in sync about this. I mean, not like I blame them, but I'm still a bit freaked out. It probably doesn't help that I still feel mildly embarrassed from Isshiki's words.

No! I need to stop being so embarrassed when something like that happens! I forcefully shook my head. Next time someone says something, I'll make sure not to be embarrassed! Probably easier said than done, but I don't care!

Hachiman seems insulted by that. "I'm in your class too, you know…"

"I see." Yukinoshita nods. "Then Hikigaya-kun can't be the culprit."

Hachiman sighs. "And she accepted it without a moment's hesitation."

"Well, it's something that happens every so often," Yuigahama explains. "There's no real need to mind it."

Hiratsuka snorted. "It really isn't that surprising, Hikigaya."

"When did I say I was shocked?" I shot back. "If someone thought I would do something like that back then, they definitely had the wrong idea about me."

"U-Um… what about now?" Totsuka asked.

"Still wouldn't do it. I'm not stupid enough to go through the effort of making a chain letter."

"Eh? A chain letter?" Miura questioned. Oops, I accidentally spoiled that reveal. Eh, not like anyone cares anyways. Other than Zaimokuza, but hopefully he doesn't make a huge fit about it. "How did you know it was that?"

"You'll find out," I cryptically replied.

Miura opened her mouth to reply. "Wha-"

"Man, I remember that one with me in it!" Tobe exclaimed. "That was real nasty! Thankfully, it stopped pretty quickly!"

Uh, did anyone ask? Though, thanks for stopping Miura from speaking, Tobe.

The service club's conversation is halted when the clubroom door is opened. In walks a blonde haired teenager.

"Hayato!" Miura exclaimed happily, before her eyes suddenly narrowed. "Wait, why are you in the service club?"

Hayama gave his "winning" smile to her. "Don't worry, I just had a request from the club. It had to do with that message Yui mentioned." I won't spoil the details yet.

"O-Oh, of course!" Miura looked away with a blush. Silly me, thinking it would be anything else!

"Oh, I just had a request. This is the service club, right?" Hayama asks.

Hachiman nervously smiles at him.  "Did my instincts judge Hayama to be higher than me again?"

"Your instincts are right," Miura boldly claimed with a smirk. "No offense, Hikio, but no one can, like, really compare to him."

Hahahahaha, that's really funny Miura. I didn't know you were such a jokester. I heard Yukinoshita quietly snort next to me. Looks like we're on the same brainwave.

Orimoto looked at Hayama, then at Hachiman, before looking at the screen again. I want to agree with her, but something inside me feels like that can't be true. Haha, what a weird feeling!

"Hiratsuka-sensei said I should come here if I have any troubles." Hayama says, rubbing his head. "I couldn't really get excused from club, so-"

Yukinoshita interrupts him. "I don't recall asking you to brag. You came here because you have a request, Hayama Hayato-kun."

Miura glared daggers at Yukinoshita. You bitch! Don't insult Hayama like that!

Hayama sweatdrops. "Oh, about that…" He pulls out his phone and shows it to the two girls.

Yuigahama gasps lightly. "It's the weird text." She pulls out her own phone to read the texts out loud. "Tobe is a delinquent from the Inage area. He beats up kids from West High in the arcades." An image of him standing over some beaten-up high schoolers is shown.

"Hey! That's not true!" Tobe stood up angrily.

"Um, we know that!" Shiromeguri tried to calm him down. "T-This is from a year ago, right?"

"O-Oh, yeah, right!" Tobe's angry expression disappeared and he sheepishly rubbed his head. "Sorry, I just got reminded of how angry I first felt when I first heard that."

"Don't worry, I felt the same," Hayama said with a nod. "It sickened me to hear what they said about you and the others."

Shiromeguri nodded. "I-I don't blame you!"

I raised an eyebrow at Hayama's words. He knows that one of his "friends" was the one who sent that chain letter, right? That's not a good look, you knoooow? Unless he lost his memory?

"Yamato is a three-timer. Scum of the Earth." Yamato is shown doing the deed with a brown-haired girl as another girl watches from the door.

"Oka smashes other schools' star players with his unsportsmanlike tactics." Oka is shown kicking someone in a baseball field.

Still standing, Tobe turned to the screen in anger. "That's-"

"Relax, Kakeru," Hayama intervened. "Like Shiromeguri-senpai said, we know it's false. Now why don't we all calm down?"

"Heheh, sorry Hayato!" He sat down. "It's just, y'know, we're friends now, and I didn't like hearing things they definitely wouldn't do."

"Besides," Ebina chimed in, "I highly doubt Yamato could even get a single girl in the first place!"

Oh my, how harsh!

"H-Hey now, that's a little much…" Hayama sweatdropped.

Notice how he didn't deny it? How harsh of you, Hayama.

"It's a chain letter," Yukinoshita realizes.

"The atmosphere in class has been pretty bad since this started circulating," Hayama explains. "And hearing baseless rumors about my friends makes my stomach turn. Oh, I don't necessarily want to find out who did it, though." The camera zooms on his face as he smiles. "I just want to know how to make it stop. Can you help me?"

"Eh?! Why didn't you want to find who did it?!" Miura shouted angrily.

Hayama gave her a smile. "I didn't want to cause any trouble. I was hoping we could simply stop it and no one would get hurt."

"O-Oh, that, like, makes a lot of sense!" Miura blushed, twirling a lock of her hair.

"Makes a lot of sense" my ass. Geez, Miura is basically defenseless when it comes to Hayama. I mean, I already knew that, but being in this theater has given me a front seat to her shenanigans. It's really impressive how effectively he's able to disarm her. I'm kind of jealous…

Wait, not in that way! I definitely don't want her pining after me! Yukinoshita is the only one for me! But if there was a way to shut off her fire queen mode whenever it's aimed at me, I'd take it.

The camera suddenly moves to Hachiman as the background becomes all dramatic.  "There it is. His ultimate technique: 'The Zone.'"

Whoa, that effect was kind of cool. That's not something you see in every romcom. Wait, the screen is violating my privacy again!

"Fufufu~, looks like we're gonna see another monologue from Hikigaya-kun!" Haruno exclaimed.

Hayama didn't show any outward change, but his eyes gained a glint in them. Looks like I'm the subject this time.

Suddenly, Hayama is shown standing in front of a brick wall while looking more buff than usual. On the bottom of the screen is a message declaring, "This is a personal opinion."

"Oh my-! You're so buff, Hayato!" Ebina squealed. "Thank you Hikitani-kun for your blessing! Now I know what your taste is!"

"Hachiman! How could you?!" Zaimokuza cried out. "If you're not careful, he'll replace you as the protagonist! That would be the worst-case scenario!"

This is bullshit! Why does he look like that?! Why is that the illustration the creators of this show went with?! I'm gonna find whoever did that and make sure they regret it!

While I was plotting someone's imminent demise, Miura blushed. H-He looks so hot! I-I… kyah~!

Orimoto was watching Miura in real time, and she couldn't help but giggle at the growing redness on her face. She's got it soooo bad for Hayama. Thanks, Hikigaya, for letting me see this. It's fascinating!

"'The Zone' is a skill that only people who lead fulfilling lives can use." A scene of a bunch of depressed teenagers is shown, before Hayama jumps down from nowhere. "Its most profound characteristic is that it can take any place and make it better. Simply because their lives are so fulfilling."

Hayama gives a cheerful smile, surrounding the place with a yellow background and making the teenagers cheerful as well. "You could also call it the special air about a charismatic and kind individual."

Haruno sighed disappointedly. That was disappointing, Hikigaya-kun. You should have put his mask on full display. I'd love to see how that blonde girl reacts to that.

Hayama also couldn't help but feel disappointed. All he did was explain what other people thought of me. Though, he was spot on about that.

By the end of my monologue, I had calmed down. After all, the creators probably live in some other universe. I can't exactly travel to wherever they reside. You're lucky, whoever made this!

The scene returns to the service club. "In other words, you just want us to put an end to it," Yukinoshita concludes.

Hayama nods. "Well, yeah, you could say that."

"Then we'll have to find out who did it, no?" Yukinoshita says, standing up.

"I mean… she isn't wrong?" Shiromeguri offered. "But I feel like there's a better way…"

"If I was Yukinoshita-san, I'd do exactly the same thing," Kawasaki claimed. She cracked her knuckles. "They wouldn't like what would happen next…"

Ebina stared at her seatmate in fear. "U-Um, Saki-Saki, you're being super scary right now!"

She blinked her eyes. "Oh, um, sorry Hina. I just thought about what I'd do if someone sent a chain letter about me."

"...Y'know what, I get that."

Yukinoshita glanced back at Kawasaki with a smirk. While her methods may be… excessive, I cannot fault her for resorting to such methods. I approve.

Shiromeguri blinked at Kawasaki, then turned to Haruno. "Haru-san, I'm feeling kind of scared now…"

"Ah, don't worry about it!" Haruno giggled. "I'm sure Kawasaki-san is exaggerating." And even if she's not, I won't fault her way of thinking!

"Okay…" Shiromeguri turned back to the screen. I didn't know they were so violent! Even Yukino-san!

"Yeah, thank-" Hayama interrupts himself. "Huh? Is there really no other way?"

Yukinoshita crosses her arms. "A chain letter. It's the worst possible way to destroy a human's dignity." She walks over to the window. "Without revealing one's name or face, they lie and slander for the sole purpose of hurting others. The only way to stop one is to find its originator and eliminate them. I speak from experience."

"T-The worst way…?" Totsuka asked with widened eyes.

"E-Eliminate…?" Komachi stuttered nervously. She grabbed onto my arm. "Y-Yuki-nee is scary!"

Trust me Komachi, I'm scared too.

Behind them, Hayama suddenly felt very guilty. …From experience, huh.

"You've had this happen to you?" Hachiman asks.

"You eliminated them?" Yuigahama worriedly asks.

"Yes. I eliminated them," Yukinoshita casually says with a nod.

For some inexplicable reason (not), that had the effect of the first two rows staring at her with fear. "Y-You're a heartless villain!" Zaimokuza recklessly cried out.

"Oh?" Yukinoshita turned to face the chuunibyou. She smiled. "I am the heartless one? Perhaps you should inform those who sent the chain letter? I'm sure they would appreciate someone who thinks just like them. Am I wrong?"

Zaimokuza was sweating like he was on the surface of the sun. "A-A-Aye Aye! I-I'm s-s-sure y-you're r-r-r-right!"

I appreciate you taking the bullet, Zaimokuza. I'll forever remember you as the one who bravely (foolishly) stood against the evil ice queen!

In the third row, Orimoto shuddered. Yukinoshita-san… she's really scary. I already figured that out, but the way she casually "eliminated" her enemies. How did Hikigaya tame her?!

Miura noticed her seatmate's shuddering. "Oh, Orimoto-san, don't worry about her. I won't let her, like, 'eliminate' you."

Orimoto suddenly felt mildly embarrassed. "Oh, no no, it's fine! I just wondered how Hikigaya was able to, um, befriend her. They still seem like enemies at that point."

Miura crossed her arms and frowned. "Honestly? I'd like to know too. Hikio's cool, but he's nothing special."

Orimoto furrowed her eyebrows. Nothing special? Maybe in middle school, but when I saw him again, he seemed… kind of cool. Wow, what a weird thought!

The camera scrolls up Yukinoshita's body. "Regardless, any such human deserves to die. This is how I do things." She turns her face back towards the group. "I will find who did it. One word will probably be enough to end it. I'll leave what happens after that to your discretion. Is that okay with you?"

Hayama gives up. "Yeah, that works."

"Y'know, I don't remember anyone being exposed for those messages," Tobe commented. "Unless… Yukinoshita-san murdered them in the dark of the night and made everyone forget about them!"

That statement earned him several blank stares, along with laughter from Hiratsuka (and absolute terror from me). "Hahaha! If Yukinoshita could do that, I'd have been gone long ago!"

Tobe finally realized how silly his statement was. "Haha, I was just making a joke!" he claimed. With a sweatdrop on his forehead. "Obviously no one could do that!"

Meanwhile, I felt my blood run cold. If Yukinoshita really was that powerful, I'd have to get out of Japan. Er, wait, she's my gir- partner now. She won't do that to me, right? Right?!

Yukinoshita fully turns around. "When did this text begin circulating?"

"Last weekend, right?" Hayama asks Yuigahama to confirm.

She nods. "Yeah."

"Did anything happen in your class? Yuigahama-san, Hayama-san," Yukinoshita asks.

Hayama goes first. "I don't think anything happened…"

"Yeah, everything was normal," Yuigahama confirms.

"It's the workplace visit, right?" Ebina chimed in suddenly.

"Eh? What makes you say that, Hina?" Miura asked.

"I mean, earlier we saw Hikitani-kun being threatened by Hiratsuka-sensei about that-"

"He deserved that."

"...My point is, it's foreshadowing! And if I remember correctly, Hayato and Hikitani-kun were in the same group!" Ebina's glasses suddenly glazed over. "That means-!"

"Indeed, Ebina-san is correct!" Zaimokuza interrupted before Ebina could finish her sentence. "It is a perfect way to reference earlier events in the episode!"

Miura thought about it. "...Yeah, that does make sense." And, even if Kakeru was acting like a dumbass earlier, he does bring up a good point that no one was exposed for the chain letters. They just… stopped. I don't think that Yukinoshita bitch would have accepted that outcome. So, Hikio probably did something. As usual.

"Just to be safe, what about you?" Yukinoshita asks Hachiman, who stood off to the side.

"What are you trying to imply with 'just to be safe?'" Hachiman retorts, before putting a finger on his head. "Last weekend? So it's something recent."

A flashback of Hachiman's conversation with Hiratsuka is shown.  "The workplace visit's going to be in groups of three."  That information is enough for Hachiman to connect the dots.

"Workplace visit?" Hachiman says out loud.

"Oh, that's it!" Yuigahama exclaims. "It's because we have to pick groups."

MIDDLE OF EPISODE

"Well, look at that!" Ebina exclaimed victoriously. "Guess who nailed it!"

"Dude, you're good at this!" Tobe cheered her on. "I totally wouldn't have thought of that!"

Kawasaki rolled her eyes. "Yeah yeah, good job." Thank god she's not thinking about the yaoi stuff. Hina is much more enjoyable to talk to when she's not on that topic.

In the back row, Haruno seemed disappointed. I was hoping it would be something else. Not… irrelevant school matters. But maybe if I'm lucky, I'll see more of Hikigaya-kun's silliness!

Shiromeguri muttered to herself. "How will Hikigaya-kun solve this? I mean, Yukinoshita-san seemed like she hates chain letters, so I doubt she'll just give up easily-"

"Meguri, you're muttering," Haruno cut in her thoughts.

"Ah! Sorry, Haru-san! It's just…"

Haruno giggled. "Don't worry about it! I'm sure our 'protagonist' will solve it with no issues!"

"Hmm… yeah, Hikigaya-kun really knows his stuff! I'm sure we'll know how he does it!"

Little did they know, I had overheard everything! And I don't appreciate you calling me a protagonist, Haruno. It's just an excuse used by Big Anime to rob the privacy rights of hundreds, if not thousands of innocent people! Also, the voice explicitly called me "not a protagonist," so you're just wrong!

"Hachiman," Tsurumi called out my name, making me turn around, "Do you know when they'll show that summer camp?"

"What? You're finding this boring?" I asked teasingly. That earned me an adorable childish pout (she's a child, duh). "Anyways, no clue. Could be the next episode, could be the next season."

Tsurumi looked disappointed. "This is such a lame show. Especially with you in it."

Whoa, whoa! That was too far! How could a child like you say that?! Crap, I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up torturing some poor soul when she gets to my age. Hell, she could be a mini-Yukinoshita in the making. I can't let that happen! I'll save you, RumiRumi!

"What's worse is that I'm not even here yet!" Isshiki cut in. "And I bet it's your fault too, senpai!"

"Yeah yeah, blame me for all of the mistakes," I shrugged her off. "Should have met me earlier if you really wanted to be in the show."

"Oh my, are you wishing you met me earlier so that you could have confessed to me without worrying about your girlfriend? I'm sorry, but I can't engage in that kind of activity without her consent, please ask me again later!"

That's really funny, Isshiki. So funny I forgot to laugh. That said, I feel like something would be missing if she stopped saying that line. "Sure, whatever you say."

Isshiki, however, had her own thoughts. If I had met senpai earlier, I could have easily beaten Yukino and Yui! But Hayama just had to attract my attention first! If we were back home, maybe I could have tried to disrupt senpai's relationship, but I feel like it would have failed. Those two look so close. She glanced at the two in question. I… I don't know if I could do such a thing.

"Onii-chan, you better not cheat on Yuki-nee!" Komachi poked a finger at me. "I'll never forgive you for that!"

"Trust me, Komachi, I'm the embodiment of Anti-cheating," I said with a smirk. "You don't need to worry about that kind of thing."

Yukinoshita chuckled. "Even if he had such an idea, I'd be sure to remind him of his place."

I felt a chill go down my spine at her words. Komachi, on the other hand, nodded approvingly. "As his sister, I approve! You go, Yuki-nee!"

"I'll support you, Yukinon!" Yuigahama exclaimed. "But, um… what do you mean by that?"

"That… is a matter best kept secret."

Now I'm scared. Wait, why should I be scared? There's no way I'd cheat on Yukinoshita! So why are my hands trembling? It must be the cold, yeah! What, you're telling me that the temperature here is perfect? Must be a lie!

"Haa… I'm so proud of you two," Hiratsuka said in… a scary tone? "Yeah, real proud. Real-"

"Excuse me, but you're squeezing the seat, sensei," Hayama interrupted from above.

"Eh?" She looked at her seatrest, which had nailmarks in it now. "Oh, whoops. Just got a little bit frustrated, sorry about that!"

Hiratsuka, I wasn't even looking at you and even I could tell that you were glaring daggers at me. I didn't even say anything about your age that time! While I hate to say it, Hayama did save me from a devastating fate. So, thanks, you riajuu bastard.

I opened my mouth to say something, but the screen chose that time to return. Y'know, it kind of feels like the times during the mid-episode transition are longer than they should be. Must be time madness by that stupid voice.

Hachiman is shown back in Class 2-F, seemingly snoozing off. This is quickly revealed to be an illusion, as he opens his eyes and sneaks a glance at Hayama talking to three other boys.

Ebina's eyes gleamed. "Oh hoho. Hikitani-kun is curious! Maybe he's got a-"

"You were being really nice just now," Kawasaki cut in. "So I would appreciate it if you didn't finish that sentence, ok?"

"-got a really good idea!" Ebina smoothly finished. "Yeah, a good idea to find out who did the chain letter!"

Very funny, Ebina.

The scene switches back to the service club. "I think I know who did it," Yuigahama declares.

"You d-did?" Totsuka asked with surprise.

Yuigahama smiled sheepishly. "I mean, I just had to think about it!"

"A rarity from you," I grumbled. What can I say? Her school grades are abysmal! I think Yukinoshita tried to help her with math once, only to give up after a few days. Well, math is a curse sent by the devil himself, so I really can't blame her for that one. Japanese, on the other hand…

"Hikki!" Yuigahama pouted. "I-It's not my fault that it's hard to think sometimes!"

"Could you explain?" Yukinoshita asks.

Yuigahama crosses her arms. "These group events change people's relationships. Some people are really sensitive about that."

Hachiman chimes in. "The workplace visit is three people to a group. That means one of the four gets left out. Someone would want to get one of the others knocked out."

"So the culprit is one of those three? You have no doubts about that?" Yukinoshita asks to confirm.

"W-Wait a second," Hayama cuts in. "I don't want to jump to conclusions just yet. The text is talking about all three of them. It can't possibly be one of them, right?"

"Who are you guys talking about?!" Isshiki exclaimed. "You're just using 'the three of them!'"

Surprisingly, it was Tsurumi who responded, "Are you an idiot?"

"W-What?!"

The girl crossed her arms. "It was obviously the boys that the blonde guy was talking to. That's why it showed Hachiman looking at them."

Isshiki thought about it for a moment. "Y'know, that makes a lot of sense!" Then she turned to Hachiman with a pout. "Also, why are you letting her call me an idiot?!"

"Why are you looking at me?" I asked with a deadpan. "It's your problem, not mine."

"Senpai…"

Tobe heard Tsurumi's words and was surprised. "W-Wait, you mean they all suspected Yamato, Ooka, and me?! But that doesn't make any sense!"

"But Tobecchi, if I remember, you three weren't really friends before this, right?" Ebina asked.

"Eh? What do you mean?"

"...I think the show might explain it, so I'll let it do the explaining."

Tobe looked at her confusingly, before shrugging and focusing back on the screen.

"Are you retarded?" Hachiman insults Hayama.

I felt Miura suddenly glare at me, but I chose to ignore it. What's she gonna do about it, huh?

"You're supposed to do that only when you want to cover your own ass," Hachiman explains. "Besides, I don't think I'd start rumors about someone and then pin the blame on him too."

"Hikki, you're even lower than the sender!" Yuigahama says, covering her chest.

Hachiman smugly responds, "Call me an intellectual criminal."

"More like a braindead criminal!" Miura exclaimed with a hint of anger in her voice.

I blinked with surprise. That seems uncalled for- wait, "It's because I called Hayama retarded, isn't it?"

Miura's eyes seemed to catch on fire. "Apologize to him, now!"

"H-Hey, Yumiko," Hayama intervened, "It's alright. It's just how we interact, ok?"

Miura's anger fizzled away the second he said her name. She looked at the blonde hair guy, then back at me, before crossing her arms with a huff. "Fine, if you insist. But I won't tolerate your behavior any further, Hikio!"

Oh boy, she's not gonna like what happens later.

Yukinoshita ignores the side topic. "For now, could you tell us about those three?" she asks Hayama.

He thinks about it for a second. "Tobe looks like a bad guy, but he's actually more like a cheerful leader." An image of him is shown. "He takes a proactive role whenever we hang out. He's a great guy."

Tobe grinned. "Aw, thanks Hayato! Knew you thought I was great!"

Hayama chuckled. "Of course, Kakeru."

"Easily excited, only knows how to make a ruckus. Is that all?" Yukinoshita concludes, writing down some notes.

Tobe's grin faded away. "...Oi, what's her problem?"

"I merely gave my opinion on the matter," Yukinoshita replied without looking back.

"That's a little rude, Yukinon…" Yuigahama frowned.

Yukinoshita hesitated for a moment, then sighed and turned around. "I apologize for my harsh words, Tobe-kun."

"Uhh, thanks?" Honestly, Tobe was just more confused than anything. I guess Yui convinced her to apologize? Well, thanks Yui!

The room goes silent for a moment, before Yukinoshita looks up from her notes. "What's wrong? Go on."

There's a lot wrong, you bitch! Miura shouted in her head.

Hayama continues with a sweatdrop. "Yamato is a good listener." An image of him is shown. "He's pretty chill and marches to the beat of his own drum. He gives you this sense of security. He's a great guy."

"He's slow to respond and indecisive," Yukinoshita concludes.

"..."

Hayama continues again, his sweatdrop more prominent. "Oka is great with people. I always see him helping someone out. He's got a nice personality. He's a great g-"

"An opportunist who watches others for the right moment to strike," Yukinoshita concludes. She puts her pen on her chin. "Any of them could be the culprit. Hayama-kun's descriptions aren't much help. What do you two think of them?" She asks Hachiman and Yuigahama.

Over the course of the scene, Miura was getting progressively angrier. Finally, she snapped. "What's your deal?!"

Tobe tried to intervene. "Y-Yumiko, it's not-"

Miua glared daggers at him. "Shut up Kakeru! I'm getting pissed off!" She stood up. "Her apology to you was basically nothing! And then Ooka and Yamato too?!"

Oh crap. This isn't good! I wasn't expecting her to get so pissed at that! Hayama, you need to intervene! She cooled off instantly when you spoke up, so do it again!

Thankfully, that was what happened. "Yumiko, I'm sure she didn't mean it-"

"Hayato, why aren't you mad about this?" Miura turned to face him. "They're your friends!"

Hayama was mildly thrown back. "Well, er, I've known Yukinoshita-san for a while. It's just the way she talks about others." He chuckled. "Look how she and Hikitani-kun talk to each other."

Miura glanced at Yukinoshita, then me, then Hayama, before she sighed. "Would it kill her to be nicer?" She didn't wait for a response as she sat down.

I thought that a bomb was about to go off, but Hayama effortlessly disarmed it. Thank you for saving our lives! I'll refrain from insulting you as much if I can!

Before I could focus on the screen again, I felt Yukinoshita grab my left hand. Eh? I turned to her with a questioning expression.

She looked at me for a second, then blushed heavily and forced her attention back on the screen. "...I apologize, Hikigaya-kun, but… I-I need this."

Oh god, that was so adorable! Wait, focus. Why did she want my hand-

Wait, was she actually bothered by Miura's words? Well, actually, that makes a lot of sense. I know Yukinoshita's trying to be nicer to people. Results have varied depending on the person, but even so, it still hurts to hear that, huh?

I can't really blame Miura though. I hardly ever see her, and I'm sure she hardly sees Yukinoshita. She wouldn't really know that she's not the same. Though, their issues with each other don't help either. I really hope they get over them at some point…

…Oh yeah, I forgot I'm still holding Yukinoshita's hand! Kyah~!

Little did I know, Komachi saw the entire thing. She didn't say a word, but she smirked mischievously. I'll be teasing you about this later, Onii-chan!

Yuigahama looks at Yukinoshita. "Huh? I don't know what to think…"

"I don't even know them," Hachiman comments.

"Then could you investigate them for me?" Yukinoshita asks the two.

"S-Sure," Yuigahama reluctantly agrees.

"I'm sorry. This isn't as glamorous as a mystery novel," Yukinoshita looks away.

"I'll do it," Hachiman declares, making everyone look at him. "Not like I care what the other kids think about me. And finding faults in people is one of my 108 skills."

My good mood snapped the moment I mentioned my 108 skills. What was I thinking?! I can't just go around revealing those! That's top secret! If the CIA was here, they'd probably execute me on the spot!

"Oh? Have you been holding out on me, Hikigaya?" Hiratsuka teasingly asked. "I wasn't aware that you were a shonen protagonist."

"Ah, but it makes sense!" Zaimokuza declared. "As Hachiman is already a romcom protagonist, it only makes sense that he would try to expand into other genres! It's all part of his plan to take over the entire industry!"

"...What the hell are you even saying?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Like I said, he's annoying," Tsurumi chimed in. "Why is he here?"

"G-Gah! Y-You are the enemy of the people!" Zaimokuza dramatically cried out as he pointed at the girl. Heh, that's a really funny scene. But was that last question necessary, RumiRumi?

"You know, I wonder about that myself," Yukinoshita added without turning around. "Clearly, Voice-sama must have been mistaken in his inclusion."

"A double attack!" Zaimokuza cried as he grabbed his chest. "H-Hachiman, I-I need assistance!"

Don't drag me into your affairs! You gotta stand up for yourself and stand up against the ice queen and her apprentice! Do that, and you shall find future success.

…Oh whoops, I need to respond. "Uh, stand up for yourself. If you do that, you'll, uh, find great success down the road."

Zaimokuza suddenly looked confident. "You're right! Thank you for your advice, Hachiman!" He turned to face Yukinoshita, then Tsurumi. "I won't fall to you, villains!"

Tsurumi crossed her arms. "Stop being so annoying." She turned towards me. "Hachiman, you should stay away from him. He's gonna make your life miserable."

Seriously, Zaimokuza, did you do something to RumiRumi? She's got an agenda against you! "Trust me, I'm well aware," I vaguely replied.

Tsurumi seemed disappointed at that. "If you insist, Hachiman…"

Zaimokuza puffed his chest out. "This is our victory! Take that, villain!"

You really need to relax the chuunibyou behavior. But a victory is a victory, so I won't say anything.

…W-Wait, why does my left hand feel so empty now?! Oh, Yukinoshita let go of it during the conversation. Now I can't help but feel disappointed…

Yukinoshita closes her eyes. "Thank you, but I won't be holding my breath."

"I'll do it too!" Yuigahama loudly declares with an arm raised in the sky. "We can't just leave Hikki to do it! And you asked me first, so I gotta, Yukinon!"

Yukinoshita lightly blushes, before looking away. "I see."

Yuigahama is overjoyed and hugs Yukinoshita. "I'll see what I can do!"

Miura felt a tinge of disappointment. Yui is a lot more comfortable with… Yukinoshita. I can't really blame her though. I didn't really treat her like a good friend back then. I-I hope I'm not so bad now…

Next to her, Hayama smiled. I'm glad Yui was able to be her friend. If only she or Hikigaya-kun were there in elementary school. Then… maybe things would have turned out better.

Below them, Tsurumi looked down at her hands. Will I ever have a friend like that? She looked up again. I don't really wanna hug, but if someone hugged me, I might enjoy that?

Hayama and Hachiman watch the two from behind. "You sure get along great," Hayama observes.

"They do, anyway," Hachiman replies.

Hayama makes eye contact with Hachiman and smiles. "I meant you too, Hikitani-kun."

Hachiman makes a bothered-looking face.  "Who're you talking to? We don't have a member named 'Hikitani-kun.'"

And we still don't! Ugh, I had an opportunity to eliminate that stupid name last episode! Why didn't I take it?!

Kawasaki furrowed her eyebrows. "I'm not really sure Hikigaya and Yukinoshita-san are really getting along yet."

"Ah, don't worry about that, Kawasaki-san!" Haruno said with a teasing tone. "That's just how those two bond!"

"...I really shouldn't be surprised, but still…" Kawasaki frowned. I guess… good for them? Should I have done that too? Wait, what am I thinking?

The scene returns to Class 2-F. Hachiman is startled when Yuigahama walks up to him. "For now, you don't need to do anything, okay?"

"That's good news for me," Hachiman says as Yuigahama sits in the seat in front of him. "So, what are you going to do, exactly?"

"I'll ask the girls what they think. Girls would definitely know more about relationships in the class. And if you talk about someone you both hate, they can get carried away and say all sorts of stuff!"

"R-Really?" Totsuka stammered out. "I-Is that true, Yui?"

"O-Of course not…" Yuigahama trailed off. "...Um, I guess it's true…"

"Yui-san's right!" Isshiki exclaimed. "I remember talking to a few girls about some other kid in a different class. Even I was afraid of what they were saying!"

You know, you shouldn't sound so happy saying that. Totsuka might get the wrong idea, you knoooow?

Totsuka shuddered. "G-Girl-talk sounds s-scary."

Hachiman jumps slightly and looks away. "Girl-talk sounds scary."

"Even Hachiman agrees!" Zaimokuza exclaimed. "Girl-talk is an excuse for the elites to look down on the working class!"

I nearly snorted, but held it in. That's a funny analogy to think about.

Yuigahama crosses her arms. "Anyway, I'll do it, so don't worry!"

"Well, even if I tried asking around, they'd just ask, 'Who are you?' It's all yours."

Yuigahama enthusiastically nods, before she goes over to talk to Miura and Ebina. "Thanks for waiting!"

"Oh, so that's why you talked about them!" Miura exclaimed.

Ebina frowned and crossed her arms. "How disappointing. I thought Yui had finally seen the light!"

Yuigahama shuddered at the thought. "No way!"

The three girls start talking as Hachiman watches from his desk. "Yeah, I mean, like, don't you think Tobecchi and Oka-kun and Yamato-kun have been acting kinda weird lately?" Yuigahama starts.

"...Yuigahama-san, it appears that you have no sense of subtlety," Yukinoshita scolds her seatmate.

Yuigahama sheepishly rubbed her head. "Haha, sorry about that!"

"You have no sense of subtlety," Hachiman scolds her in his thoughts.

Yukinoshita whirled to face me with surprise. I only gave her a smirk. After a moment, she gave a smirk of her own and focused on the screen. As expected of my partner, to have the same idea as me!

…How many times does that make it where someone says the exact same thing someone on the screen was about to say? The amount of coincidences is starting to look suspicious. It's almost as if we've been scripted to say such things because of a lazy author!

…What am I thinking? There's no way the stupid god would script our responses. Wouldn't it find it much more entertaining to see our genuine reactions? Also, I'd have some serious concerns about our free will if a god could do that.

Outside of my thoughts, Yuigahama watched the interaction with a smile. Hehe, those two really think the same, huh? I… I really do want to support them. But, I can't help but feel jealous…

"I didn't think you were that kind of person, Yui," Ebina replies.

"Huh?"

"Eep!" Yuigahama yelped. "A-Ah, sorry about that!"

I raised an eyebrow at her behavior, but didn't look further into it.

"Look, don't you think that's like, kinda totally wrong?" Miura gets very close to Yuigahama. "You shouldn't talk about your friends like that!"

"No, I didn't mean it like that! I'm sort of interested, I guess."

"What? You like one of them?" Miura teases.

"What?! No way!" Yuigahama shouts, before scratching her cheek. "There is someone I'm interested in, but…" She trails off as she realizes what she said.

"Oh, really?" Komachi asked in a knowing tone. "Gee, I wonder who it could be~?"

Isshiki joined in. "Yeah, I really wond~er! There's just so many options~!"

"S-Stop it!" Yuigahama cried out, blushing heavily. "I-It's not the time!"

What are they talking about? From their tone, it definitely sounds like they're being sarcastic. That must mean that whoever she likes is obvious. But who? It can't be Hayama, I've never seen a single sign of anything between those two. And it's obviously not anyone else in the clique. Which leaves me, as the only other guy Yuigahama talks to. Gee, there's just no possible way it could be me! How could anyone- okay, I'm laying it on a bit thick.

…I'm not sure why I needed to go through that long-winded monologue. It was obvious Yuigahama had a thing for me back then. I'm already well aware of that. But at that point, I didn't really see it as "genuine." After I realized Yukinoshita l-l-loved me back, however, I wondered if, just maybe, Yuigahama's… crush? Love? Whatever it is, maybe it's genuine? The signs are there.

Well, it doesn't matter. Wait, that sounds too harsh. I almost sounded like one of those edgy protagonists for a second! I just mean that I'm happy with where I am. That's not going to change. I don't want to hurt Yuigahama. But if she confesses, I'm not going to say yes. I've already got the girl I like.

I glanced at the blushing pink-haired girl. I don't think she'll say anything, but I can't say for sure. After all, I'm not an expert on emotions. I'm quite literally the furthest thing from that. It's also entirely possible that I've gotten too arrogant and that she clearly doesn't feel anything more than friendship. At this point, anything could be the answer.

…Whatever the answer is, I won't run away.

Meanwhile, a few rows back, Miura sighed. It's really too bad Hikio's taken. All Yui had to do was ask, and we'd had him begging for her love! Instead, she waited too long, and now Yukinoshita has him wrapped around her finger!

Next to her, Orimoto watched the interaction between Yuigahama, Komachi, and Isshiki. I thought it was pretty obvious already, but Miura's friend has it bad for Hikigaya, eh?

"You like a boy?" Miura looks at Yuigahama with a teasing grin. "Come on, tell us who! We'll help you out!"

Now that's a terrifying prospect. Thank you Yuigahama for not subjecting me to that!

"Stop changing the subject!" Yuigahama cried out. "I'm interested in knowing, like, what their relationship's like."

"I know what you mean," Ebina cuts in, her glasses clouded over. "Is that what you're interested in? Actually, I am too."

Tobe looked surprised. "You were?"

For once, Ebina actually looked sheepish. "Erm, you might want to keep watching…"

Suddenly, I remembered what happened next. I immediately turned to Hiratsuka. "Put your hands over Tsurumi's ears. I don't think she wants to hear what comes next."

"Eh?" She raised an eyebrow at my words and lack of nickname. Then understanding dawned upon her. "Ah. I get it." Without an explanation, she followed my request.

Tsurumi jumped. "W-Wah?! W-What's happening?"

"It's for your own good, Rumi-chan," Hiratsuka explained sagely. Uh, older sensei of mine, you know she can't hear you if you're covering her ears, right?

"Yeah, yeah! It's like, they're kinda awkward, right?" Yuigahama replies.

"In my opinion… Tobechhi has to be the donut!" Ebina declares with a maniac look.

Tobe blinked. "I'm… the donut?"

My condolences to you, Tobe. This is about to get really weird.

"Huh?" Yuigahama says, confused.

"And Yamato-kun's, like, a freaking monster banana! But then Oka-kun comes into the picture with his Krispy Kreme glaze! I just know there's something going on between those three!" Ebina pushes Yuigahama further back as she declares her heart out. "But you know, but you know! What if all three of them are gunning for Hayato-kun?! You know, like, they're all holding back for each other's sakes? It's too perfect!"

"...Thanks for the advance warning, Hikigaya," Hiratsuka said with a wince.

"Yup," I responded. Gee, I really am a generous man, huh? I spared RumiRumi the crime of having to hear Ebina's yaoi rant! Ah, but Komachi still had to hear it. That's low on points, isn't it?

Tobe blinked. "Huh… it's another one of Ebina's rants? But, man, I didn't know I was in one of them! Super cool, dude!"

Did this idiot not hear a single word she said? Actually, I don't blame him for ignoring it. Still, you should know that it's yaoi related! And she said that you're after Hayama! If you don't deny it, Miura might really kill you!

Miura made a face. "Hina, you're cuter when you're not ranting like that."

"Hehe, you know how it is!" Ebina exclaimed, bonking her head. "Besides, I don't think there's anything wrong with-"

The yaoi lover was interrupted when she felt a cold presence next to her. "Hina. Ebina."

"AHH! Please forgive me, Kawasaki-samaaaaaaaa!" Ebina immediately prostrated herself. "I-It was in the past! I promise it won't happen agaaaaaaaain!"

Kawasaki blinked in surprise. "...Uh, you better keep your word?" I only said her name? Oh well, if it gets her to stop the yaoi stuff, then I'll take it.

"W-What happened?" Tsurumi asked, Hiratsuka's hands still on her ears.

Hiratsuka glanced at me. "Are we good now?"

I nodded. "Yeah, we should be."

Tsurumi's ears were freed, followed by her glaring at me. "What was the point of that?!"

"It was necessary," I curtly replied. This was followed by a nod by Hiratsuka. "Let's just say that Ebina said something… ominous."

That didn't seem to convince RumiRumi, but I think she knew when she was in a losing battle, because she crossed her arms and looked back at the theater screen.

Ebina gets a nosebleed as Miura grabs onto her. "Hina, you're cute when you're not talking, so could you try to keep it down?" As she talks, Yuigahama just laughs in the background.

Later, Yuigahama apologizes to Hachiman and Yukinoshita outside of the classroom. "Sorry, I couldn't find out anything!"

"Well, you were going about things the wrong way from the start," Hachiman replies. "My turn now."

"What do you plan to do?" Yukinoshita asks.

"You're going to ask around?" Yuigahama wonders.

Hachiman smugly replies, "No, I'm going to  observe. " The two girls looked like they were concerned, but didn't say anything about it.

"He's going to observe?" Shiromeguri questioned. "Well, Hikigaya-kun does have his unusual solutions…"

Haruno giggled. "I'm sure he knows what he's doing!"

The scene returns to the classroom again. "Now, let me show you one of my 108 skills, human observation." Hachiman is shown listening to an mp3 player while looking asleep. "Only 30% of human communication is done through speech. We observe the other 70% through eye movements and small gestures. So if we look at this another way, a loner who doesn't talk is still performing 70% of the communication ritual."

Stop revealing the 108 skills, past self! At least this time, it was in my head, so I can't exactly blame myself for not thinking that my thoughts would be revealed. Hopefully it gets ignored.

"Really?" Yuigahama asked with surprise. "I didn't know that!"

"Hikigaya-kun is correct," Yukinoshita said with a nod. "Much of how we communicate is done through body language. If one was to communicate without the latter, the intention behind certain words may be lost."

Komachi pretended to wipe a tear off her face. "I'm so proud of Onii-chan! Now all he needs to do is apply that knowledge to real life!"

"Oi! That's low on points!" I exclaimed. How dare you imply that I don't talk to people, even if it's true! Er, wait, maybe not anymore. Wow, that's a weird thing to think about. The me on the screen would be cursing me right now for sure…

"So, he's going to use body language to find the culprit?" Shiromeguri asked with furrowed eyebrows. "I guess that could work?"

Yuigahama is shown sneaking a glance at Hachiman, before focusing back on the girls in front of her.  "Am I wrong? I'm wrong, right?"  Suddenly a hand starts waving in front of him, forcing him to redirect his attention.

It's revealed to belong to Totsuka, who happily greets Hachiman. "Good morning!"

Hachiman stares at him with a blush. "Can you make me miso soup every morning?"

"Uh, my bad," I said, my face slightly red. "Didn't know what came over me there." Had to make sure I said anything before anyone could call me gross!

Now understanding what Hachiman meant, Totsuka blushed. "I-It's a-alright!"

Yukinoshita, on the other hand, looked at me with a strange expression. Actually, what's with that? I was definitely expecting a glare there.

"Hikigaya-kun, would… would you l-like me to d-do t-t-that?" The raven haired girl was bright red by the end of her sentence.

Oh. That would explain it. God, that was too adorable! I'm going to die! My face was probably as red as hers.

"You better do it, Onii-chan!" Komachi chimed in. "It's free food! And it'll earn you some points!"

Eh? Since when have you cared about free food? "You just want to eat her food," I retorted.

"So do you!" Komachi shot back.

Well, she's not wrong. I gave her a shrug, before I looked at Yukinoshita again. Better make this quick, before my composure given by Komachi runs out. "If you really don't mind, I-I, uh, w-wouldn't mind…"

Yukinoshita's face still remained red, but a smile formed on her face. "If you say so, Hikigaya-kun."

Oi, where's your stutter?! Wait, that's not important. I'm now guaranteed to get miso soup every morning from Yukinoshita! Did I just win life? I was tempted to pump a fist, but I held in the urge. Someone's going to call that creepy.

"Yippeeee!" Komachi cheered. Why are you cheering? She never said anything about giving you any soup! I'm not even sure what gave you that idea. Unless she's glad that we "made progress on our relationship." That could be it.

"What does that mean?" Totsuka asks him.

"Uh, nothing," Hachiman smoothly dodges the question. "I was still half-asleep. Did you need something?"

"Have you decided on a group for the workplace visit yet?"

"What about you?"

"Me? I've already decided on one," Totsuka replies, nervously tapping his fingers together.

"Eh? I thought you were with Hikki and Hayato?" Yuigahama asked Totsuka.

The silver haired boy blushed. "A-Ah, um, I'll e-explain it later!"

"Well, that's a given. Totsuka's in the Tennis Club. It's not a stretch to think that he'd have friends in the class thanks to that." The scene momentarily changes to a view of the Service Club room, with Yukinoshita and Yuigahama glancing towards the camera, while Zaimokuza peeks in. "But as for me…"

Hachiman looks away. "Now that I think about it- or actually, I don't need to think about it- I don't have any friends that are guys."

"B-But not anymore!" Totsuka exclaimed.

I smiled. "Well, that's true." It's a good thing I've already accepted that I'm friends with Totsuka. It was getting a bit tiring questioning that all of the time. Though, where does that leave Zaimokuza? Eh, that's a question for another time.

"Um, Hikigaya-kun… I'm a boy," Totsuka points out.

Hachiman looks at him.  "But can you really call us friends? Friends would probably…"  He glances at the clique talking.

"Hayato-kun, where do you want to go?" Oka questions.

Hayama replies, "I'd love to see a mass media corporation or multinational firm."

Like I expected anything different, Haruno thought, glancing at the blonde boy. Of course he'd go there. How boring.

For some reason, Hayama felt a chill up his spine. As usual, he paid no attention to it, though it left him curious where it came from.

"Dude, Hayato, you, like, totally know what you want to do, broski!" Tobe exclaims, pointing a finger at him. "But, like, we have to start thinking about these things too, you know? Lately, like, I've got, like, total respect for my pops."

Yukinoshita pinched her nose frustratingly. "I feel like I've lost several brain cells just listening to that."

Took the words right out of my mouth. Like, what's with their, like, insistence on, like, using "like" all of the, like, time. Even trying to replicate their speaking pattern is exhausting. It's kind of impressive, in a way.

"H-Hey Yukinon, that's a bit harsh," Yuigahama protested.

"I apologize, Yuigahama-san, but I cannot take it back," Yukinoshita replied, holding her ground. "It would be untruthful of me, otherwise."

Yuigahama seemed uncertain for a moment, before she dropped it. "Well, Yukinon is Yukinon!"

Yamato puts a hand on Tobe's shoulder. "You gonna turn into a good student on us?"

"Whoa, hold up!" Tobe moves away from him. "All work and no play makes you an old geezer!"

Well, actually, the fact you're even working in the first place is a loss. So you might as well just go all the way. Especially you, Tobe. Maybe you'll finally attract someone like you said you would?

"Being able to talk like typical teenagers at the height of their youth may be what being friends is all about," Hachiman thinks as he observes the group. "I'd burst out laughing in the middle if I had to do that, though. It's impossible for me. But they're all on a first-name basis. That's a sign that they're friends."

"Is that so?" Hiratsuka chimed up with a smirk. "Curious, then, how you never use anyone's first name, Hikigaya."

"Oh, shut up," I retorted. "You know my feelings on that matter."

"Saika," Hachiman suddenly calls out Totsuka's first name.

For a moment, Yukinoshita was jealous at how easily Hachiman said someone else's first name, but she immediately squashed it. I have not heard him use Totsuka-kun's first name since we arrived here. Alas, it was likely a one-time moment.

Hiratsuka's smirk got bigger. "What did I just say, Hikigaya?"

I rolled my eyes. It was a one time thing, that's not the same!

Totsuka gives a shocked look back. "Sorry. That was-" Hachiman tries to apologize.

"Thank you!" Totsuka interrupts. "That's the first time you've called me by my first name!" Glitters sparkle around him.

"U-Um, I-I noticed you haven't used my name since then," Totsuka pointed out.

Oh dear, I knew he was going to mention that. "W-Well, I'm just not very good with first names…" I mumbled out.

Yukinoshita glanced at her partner. So I was correct.

"W-Well, if you're fine with it, then you should use it!" Totsuka exclaimed.

Seriously? Even after finding out about my thoughts about you? Well, I did call him a friend a few episodes ago. And Totsuka does strike me as someone who wouldn't judge someone harshly because of that. So… maybe I should?

"Uh, I'll try my best… S-Saika." Damn it, even though I've said it before, it still feels super embarrassing for some reason!

It was worth it, as Tots- Saika gave me a blinding smile. He really is a gift sent from- Seriously, even though I'm trying to not have weird thoughts, it's really difficult! Agh!

"Mou, Hikki, when will you use my name?" Yuigahama chimed up with a pout.

"Yeah, senpai!" Isshiki joined in. Oh brother, this is going to be a problem.

"You don't even use my last name," I countered Isshiki. "Seems pretty unfair to expect me to use your first name, you know?" It's not like I mind "senpai," but I turned to Yuigahama. I opened my mouth to retort, but then discovered that I had nothing. We were obviously close enough, so I couldn't use that. And I didn't mind her use of "Hikki" anymore, so that was not an issue either. "...Uh, I'm just a bit uncomfortable…" was my weak excuse.

"Boooooo!" Isshiki exclaimed. "Lame senpai!" In truth, she didhave a few… fantasies of Hachiman using her first name. So she couldn't help but feel some disappointment.

Yuigahama looked pensive for a moment. "I-I guess I get what Hikki means… But it just feels weird, y'know?" She sheepishly rubbed her head. "We've been in the service club for over a year, y'know?"

Excessive use of "y'know" aside, she isn't wrong. Aw man, am I actually considering this? Wait, what about Yukinoshita? She is my partner. Wouldn't calling another girl by their first name basically make me a playboy? Heh, that's a funny thought. Anyways, if Yukinoshita isn't comfortable with me using her first name, then there's no way I can use Yuigahama's.

"I guess you're not wrong," I began, glancing at Yukinoshita, "But, uh, I'd feel a bit weird if I also didn't include Yukinoshita. I technically knew her before you. I-If she wants of c-course." Dammit, I started stuttering at the end there. I really hope my face isn't red right now!

Yuigahama looked surprised, before grinning. "Of course! In fact, if you didn't, I'd scold you!"

"You? Scolding me?" I asked with a smirk. "Like your 'scolding' does much."

She pouted, but instead of retorting, she instead focused on Yukinoshita. "Well, Yukinon?"

Yukinoshita had been following the conversation wordlessly (she was between the two of them, so she couldn't exactly ignore it), not expecting much to come out of it. So she was surprised when Hachiman mentioned her, and she couldn't help but blush. After all, she did occasionally think about using his first name herself at times, though she always found some excuse to do otherwise. So to have an opportunity suddenly show up in front of her? I-I'm not prepared… I need time to think about it.

"I-I will need to think about it," Yukinoshita replied, trying to hold back a blush. Huh, I felt a pang of disappointment at that. Did I really want to use her first name that badly? Well, if she asked me to use my first name suddenly, I'd be thrown off too. Hm, for some reason I feel like I'm forgetting something.

"Ok, Yukinon!" Yuigahama cheerfully exclaimed. "Oh, and don't think I won't make you use my first name later!"

Yukinoshita hesitantly nodded, before we all finally returned our focus to the screen. Say, isn't it weird how our reactions seem to fit nicely in-between scenes? Like how the show seems to pause while we talk about it? Wait, that's breaking the fourth wall a bit much, isn't it? Pretend that never happened! Nothing happened!

…What was I thinking about again?

The camera zooms into Hachiman's eye as the background becomes dramatic.  "What… did you say?"

"Can I call you 'Hikki' too?" Totsuka asked.

"Please don't."

"Then… 'Hachiman?'"

Hachiman blushes with a grin and points up three fingers. "Could you say that three more times?"

Totsuka starts to blush too. "Hachiman. Hachiman? Hachiman! Come on, are you listening to me?"

Miura looked disgusted. "That's super creepy."

Orimoto laughed. "Hikigaya is really all over the place!"

"Like, why would someone get so obsessed over a name anyways?" Miura questioned. "Not like it's a big deal anyways."

Hoh? You say that, but I bet the first time Hayama used your name, you probably acted really similar! Wait, am I going to act similar around Yukinoshita if she calls me Hachiman?

"Oh sorry," Hachiman snaps out of his trance as Totsuka looks away with a pout. "What were we talking about again?"

Suddenly, Hayama walks up to the pair. "What do you want?" Hachiman asks unenthusiastically.

Haruno snorted. Only Hikigaya-kun could get annoyed at Hayato-kun after barely talking to each other. I wonder if that annoyed him?

"Nothing, just wondering if you figured anything out," Hayama wondered.

"No," Hachiman replies, resting his head on his hand. He then glances at the three boys, who are standing by themselves without talking to each other. After a few seconds, he realizes what's going on.

Hayama notices this. "Did something happen?"

Hachiman smugly grins. "I've solved the mystery!"

"Eh? What?" Shiromeguri looked startled. "All he did was stare at them?"

"Yeah, dude, I'm like, so confused!" Tobe exclaimed. "I never heard about Ooka and Yamato doing anything!"

Kawasaki looked confused as well. "That's one point for Hikigaya, because I'm still lost," she mumbled out.

Ebina, however, immediately caught on. He figured it out pretty quickly. Heh, that's not surprising at all. The fragility of the clique is obvious to anyone who took a closer look.

Suddenly, the camera pans into the Service Clubroom like it's a dramatic scene. Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, Hayama, and Hachiman are all there.

"So? Did you figure something out?" Yukinoshita questions the loner.

Hachiman crosses his arms with a grin. "I don't know who did it. But I did realize something crucial. Those three are 'Hayama's' clique."

"Uh, yeah?" Tobe sounded like that was obvious.

"Onii-chan, you can't just look cool and then say obvious things like that!" Komachi exclaimed with a disappointed look.

While you earned points for calling me cool, I don't like the tone of your voice, young lady! "Just let me speak," I countered.

"Huh? Isn't that, like, obvious?" Yuigahama counters.

"Um… what do you mean?" Hayama asks.

"That was a bad way to put it. Basically, it only exists because of you," Hachiman explains, referring to Hayama.

Kawasaki's eyes widened. So he was alluding to the fact that Hayama is the one holding it together?

Tobe still didn't get it. "Huh? What are you talking about, Hikitani-kun?"

Miura, however, caught on. Didn't we all meet through Hayato? And, like, if he disappeared back then, I don't think we would have stayed together. That thought made her chest hurt. At least, things are better now.

Hayama gave his typical smile. "I'm sure we'll get an explanation in a moment, Kakeru."

"I wouldn't say that…" Hayama tries to counter.

"Hayama, have you ever seen how they act when you're not around?" Hachiman interrogates him.

"No, I haven't…"

"When you leave them to their devices, they don't talk much. Simply put, to each of them, you're a friend, but to each other, they're friends of a friend."

Tobe's eyebrows were furrowed as he recalled the scene from a minute ago. Then his eyes widened. "Dude! I totally didn't think about that! I didn't really hang out with Ooka and Yamato until the workplace visit! Hikitani-kun, like, you're the man!"

"Uh, thanks…?" I replied with some confusion. Was he calling me smart, or something else?

"Oh!" Understanding filled Shiromeguri's eyes. "So that's what Hikigaya meant!"

Haruno giggled. "Meguri, it took you some time to catch on!"

Shiromeguri pouted. "It's just that Hikigaya-kun is so cryptic! I never knew he was like this!"

Below them, Ebina chuckled creepily. "Ohohohoho. Hikitani-kun was paying attention to Hayato!"

"Ahem." Kawasaki cleared her throat.

"Of course, it means he was making sure to follow the request!" Ebina finished, her hands not trembling at all.

Kawasaki looked satisfied with that. "Yup, that's all he was doing."

Ebina internally sighed with relief. Saki-Saki is super scary…

Yuigahama and Hayama's eyes widen as they realize his point. "I totally know what you mean," she says. "When the person who keeps the conversation going leaves, it gets totally awkward. You don't know what to do and pull out your phone." Hayama puts a hand on his chin in thought.

"Oh, I totally get that!" Orimoto piped up. "It's really awkward, like what she said."

Miura glanced at her. "You've dealt with that?"

"Well, who hasn't? Other than Hikigaya, of course!" Orimoto laughed.

I heard that! I haven't acknowledged you much, Orimoto, but don't think that means you've escaped scrutiny!

Yukinoshita walks up to Hachiman, arms crossed. "Let's suppose what you said is true. It only reinforces the fact that the culprit is among them. I still believe we need to determine the culprit to put a stop to the problem."

Hachiman seemingly ignores her. "Hayama, if you want, we can solve the problem right now. We won't need to find the culprit, and they won't fight anymore. They may even come to be friends." He looks out the window for a moment, before making a creepy grin at the others. "Want to know how?"

The two girls make disgusted looking expressions, while Hayama looks curious.

"That grin of yours made me fear for my life," Yukinoshita commented, hugging her body. "It's quite uncanny how well the screen captured your creepiness. I'll have to congratulate the studio for managing such a feat."

Isshiki copied her. "What she said! Oh, but senpai can't help it, right?"

Tsurumi didn't copy their motions, but she couldn't help but pipe up. "Hachiman did look pretty creepy there."

Was any of that necessary? Especially your comment, RumiRumi! "Oi, it's not my fault that I couldn't smile back then," I replied. "And no, don't ask me to smile right now."

Hiratsuka snorted. "'Back then?' That's really funny, Hikigaya."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I'm being serious! I've noticed that no one has called my smile creepy in months! Unless everyone suddenly became nice and stopped insulting me? Hah, that's funny.

The scene returns to Class-2F, showing the chalkboard in front of the classroom. Various different groups are listed for the workplace visit, including one with Yamato, Tobe, and Ooka.

Hachiman is sitting in his seat, glancing at the group of three, who are happily talking amongst themselves. He sighs and closes his eyes.

"Mind if I sit here?" Hayama asks, taking the set in front of him. "Thanks to you, everything's all good now. Thanks again."

"I didn't do anything," Hachiman says, looking away. "I really didn't do anything. I just thought I'd drag Hayama into the way of the loner. The reason why they were fighting in the first place was because they wanted to be with Hayama. All I had to do was get rid of the cause. In other words, take Hayama Hayato out of the picture."

"And thus, you forced the other three to make a group," Hiratsuka stated the obvious. "Honestly, not a bad way to solve the request," she finished with a smile.

"Even I must admit it was adequate," Yukinoshita added with a soft smile, before it disappeared. "Although, I confess that I am still curious who began the chain letter in the first place."

I looked backwards at Tobe, who appeared to be in a conversation with Hayama. "Well, it probably wasn't him. He genuinely seemed angry at the chain letters, and we all know that he wears his emotions on his sleeve." Unless Tobe is an expert sociopath. That line of thinking is too laughable (and terrifying) for me to think about, so I immediately dismissed it.

Behind me, Miura frowned. "Did Hikio have to, like, phrase it like that?"

Orimoto smirked. "I think it's funny how dramatic he said it. It's like Hayama was eliminated!"

"That's why I don't like it…"

"Oh please. I'm sure if he said that about Yukinoshita-san, you'd find that funny."

Miura's lips curled up. "Heh. You aren't wrong about that. Still, I don't like it."

"I thought it was pretty funny," Hayama cut in with a smile.

"O-Oh. I-I guess if you thought it was fine…" Miura lightly blushed and dropped the subject.

Unfortunately for her, that didn't stop Orimoto from sending her a smirk. "Wow, you sure gave up quickly!"

"S-Shut up!"

Hayama speaks up with a smile. "They were really surprised when I said I wouldn't be in a group with any of them. Well, I just hope this gives them a chance to become true friends."

Hachiman sweatdropped. "Frankly, being as nice as this guy is almost like a mental illness in itself."

Haruno nearly burst out laughing, but she somehow managed to only let out a snort. Oh my god, Hikigaya-kun! I've never heard anyone call Hayato-kun mentally ill! Ah~, this is so refreshing to listen to!

Below her, Hayama heard the snort and flinched. She… she's laughing about that? I… guess it's not surprising. To her, Hikigaya must be an incredible puzzle she wants to solve. I don't blame her, since I feel the same way. He looked at the screen. Even I found his monologue funny. It might not be for the same reasons as Haruno, but she's an enigma. Sometimes, I still don't understand her.

Next to her, Miura's eyes flashed and she opened her mouth. However, Hayama put a hand on her and shook his head. The blonde haired girl looked conflicted for a moment, before she relaxed back in her seat.

"Hikitani-kun, you don't have a group yet, right? How about it?" Hayama asks, offering a hand.

Hachiman gives a horrified look at his hand.  "What's up with this guy? Is he American?"  He looks away, before agreeing. "O-Okay," he says in English, slapping his hand.  "I replied in English, thanks to you."

"That seems like a waste of energy," Isshiki observed, before she whipped her head at me. "And I didn't know you could speak English!"

"Not really," I replied. "I only know a little bit. It's not like I held a whole conversation in English anyways. I bet Yukinoshita's got me beat there." I pointed my thumb at her for emphasis.

Yukinoshita nodded. "Hikigaya-kun is correct. As a member of the Yukinoshita family, it was required for me to learn the language early on, for business reasons."

"Ooh," Isshiki looked impressed for a moment, before shaking her head. "Senpai, you need to keep up with her!"

I glanced at Yukinoshita for a moment. "Maybe one day."

"I'll join in too!" Yuigahama exclaimed with an arm raised. "It'll be fun!"

Frankly, I have my doubts about you being able to learn English successfully. Prove me wrong, and I'll be a happy man! "Sure," I replied.

"Ow…" Hayama said, cradling his hand with a smile.

Suddenly, Totsuka walks up to the two with a determined expression. Hachiman seems a bit confused. "What's up, Totsuka?"

"Hachiman! What about me?"

"Huh? Wait, huh? But you said you'd decided-"

"Because I decided I'd be in a group with you from the start!"

Suddenly, Hachiman, Hayama, and Totsuka's names are shown on the blackboard together.

"Ooooh! That's what you meant, Saika!" Yuigahama piped up.

"Yup!" Totsuka replied.

"Alas, Saika, that may not have been a smart idea," Zaimokuza jumped in. "As Hachiman is a lord, you must have been aware of the possibility that his group would have filled up!"

Totsuka flushed. "W-Well, you're right, Yoshiteru…"

Zaimokuza nodded. "As long as you understand." Then, he smirked. "Had I been in the same class, the three of us would have made for an unstoppable group!"

I rolled my eyes at his antics, yet I couldn't stop myself from smirking. Now that would have been interesting. A group with Totsuka- er, Saika and Zaimokuza would have been… interesting. I'm not sure what other words I can use to describe that, honestly.

"All right," Hayama says, wiping his hands.

"I hope we have a good time!" Totsuka exclaims happily.

"At least you spelled my name right," Hachiman thinks with a mild blush.

Hayama chuckled. "Sure thing, Hikitani-kun."

I'll make sure you regret calling me that! I swear! Even if my actions say otherwise!

"Hachiman, when should we schedule it?" Totsuka suddenly asks, smiling at him.

"Is this what you call 'friendship'?"

Before Hachiman can reply, Miura chimes in. "I wanna go wherever Hayato's going!"

"Wow, no way?" Kawasaki snarked out.

Miura whirled to face the girl. "Excuse me?"

Kawasaki blinked with surprise. "Uh, did I say that out loud? Sorry about that, Miura-san," she replied insincerely.

"That's not the problem!" Unfortunately, Miura was unwilling to ignore what she said. "I-"

"Don't worry about it, Yumiko!" Ebina suddenly cut in. "It's just Saki-Saki doing her thing!"

"But-"

"Also, I wanna finish this episode!"

That stopped Miura for a moment, before she huffed and looked away. Ebina gave Kawasaki a wink, and whispered to her, "You owe me for that one."

Kawasaki blushed slightly. "Sure, as long as it's not yaoi."

"B-But Saki-Saki!" Ebina exclaimed. "How could you?!"

Kawasaki stuck out her tongue and returned her focus back to the screen.

A random group of girls come up to the blackboard. "Hayama-kun, is that where you're going?"

"I wanna go there too!"

"Hayato, you're awesome! Totally awesome!"

"You wanna go too?"

"Yeah! Yeah!"

"Hey, me too!"

By the end, the blackboard is barely visible, as everyone in the class appears to be in the front. The location picked by Hachiman's group is covered in names.

"Well, I'm pretty much invisible 24/7 anyways," Hachiman says as he's jostled to the side by the others.

Miura glared at the screen. "Look at all of those losers trying to suck up to Hayato!"

Hayama sweatdropped, but didn't argue the point. Rather it was Orimoto that spoke up instead. "That seems a bit rude… but from this point of view, I can totally see it."

"Yeah, like, you shouldn't go somewhere just because he's going there!"

"...Do you hear yourself?" Tsurumi unexpectedly replied. "Isn't that what you did?"

If it was anyone else, Miura would have likely yelled at them. As it was Tsurumi, however, Miura actually flushed in embarrassment. "I-It's not the same! We're just friends, so isn't it normal for friends to stick together? The other girls don't even know Hayato!"

Tsurumi looked unconvinced, but she didn't speak any further. As for me, I was very proud of her. Keep calling out the riajuu's hypocrisy, RumiRumi!

The scene changes to just outside Class 2-F, where a blue-haired girl is about to open the door. She stops, then walks away.

On the roof, Kawasaki leans against a wall and bounces a lighter in her hand, before the camera fades out.

4. Basically, He Has Few Friends.

ENDING PLAYS

"And that's the episode!" Zaimokuza declared. "An interesting episode for sure, but nothing too groundbreaking. The most noteworthy part of the episode was the beginning, in which…"

While Zaimokuza was mindlessly giving his review of the episode, the rest of the theater engaged in their own conversations.

"Look at you, Saki-Saki! All dramatic-looking at the end there!" Ebina teased.

Kawasaki uncharacteristically smirked. "At least the show knows what it's doing with me."

Ebina gasped. "Eh?! That sounds so unlike you, Saki-Saki!"

"I'm more curious why she turned around!" Shiromeguri piped up. "It sounded like she heard the sounds inside and decided she didn't want to deal with it?

Kawasaki nodded. "Honestly, I'm pretty sure that was it."

Back in the first row, I was thinking about the same scene as they were. It was the first time Kawa… saki-saki? That's what Ebina used, wasn't it? Anyways, that was the first time Kawasaki-saki has appeared in this show. I'm guessing the next episode will likely focus on her. Unless the show suddenly makes her a second protagonist, it'll likely be about her job. Well, her job at the time.

She won't like that, will she? I hope she's not too bothered by whatever gets shown. The bug and Kei-chan aren't here, so I don't think she should be worried about disappointing them. Wait, why am I concerned? I should be relieved that the focus is no longer on me!

…I can't help it, huh?

"Hey, Hikigaya," Hiratsuka suddenly piped up. I turned around with a curious look. "Are you okay?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

Hiratsuka rolled her eyes. "I haven't said a word about it yet, but I can tell you're annoyed by all of this. Frankly, I'd be pissed if it was my life being shown." Then she lowered his voice. "I'm already a little mad, actually."

My eyes widened for a second, before I schooled myself. "Why are you mad?"

"Isn't it obvious? You're still a student, and you never consented to this. Once I found out what we were seeing, I was tempted to boycott it." Hiratsuka frowned. "But I saw what 'Our Glorious Voice-sama' did when we got here. Somehow, I knew that a boycott would be useless."

She's not wrong. There's no way the voice would have let any serious attempts to avoid the show from going through. "Yeah, that sounds about right," I replied.

"So, I figured the next best thing would be to keep an eye on you," Hiratsuka continued. "Thankfully, you seem alright for now. But I know you had a lot happen to you."

I nodded. "Yeah. Honestly, I'm not too concerned, since we're past those events. But… I do appreciate it. Really."

To my surprise, Hiratsuka rubbed my hair with a smile. "It's my job as a teacher to make sure any of my students are doing well." She pulled her hand away. "Just let me know if you need my help, aight?"

I gave her a thumbs up and a smile. "Got it." I turned back to the screen, feeling a little better than before. It feels… surprisingly nice to know that someone's as disturbed as I am. Yeah, I get that everyone here probably has their own reservations, but Hiratsuka's the first to directly tell me about them. I'm… glad.

Eventually, the ending ended, which was followed by a countdown showing up. Hmm, we've got minutes until the next episode.

Sooooo, how was the episode?

Of course, the stupid voice arrives. Ugh, after what happened earlier, I've lost the energy to deal with… it. At least I'm not alone in thinking that they're extremely annoying, as I heard someone behind me groan.

"It was, like, alright," Miura muttered.

"Nah, it was super interesting!" Tobe exclaimed. "Man, the whole thing with me, Yamato, and Ooka was super interesting! I didn't know that us being together was an elaborate plan by Hayato, but I think it was really great that he did that!"

Very interesting! I'm glad you enjoyed it, Mr. Kakeru Tobe!

For some reason, Tobe felt a bit weirded out by its tone. "Uh, thanks?"

Anyways, the next episode will begin in a few minutes! Hope you enjoy it!

I probably won't, but thanks for your consideration, Voice-sama. Not.

Suddenly, I felt tapping on my left shoulder. Hm? What does Yukinoshita want? I looked at her, only to find her looking at me with a determined expression. And a mild blush too. Uh, what?

Yukinoshita took a deep breath. "I have reached my decision, Hikigaya-kun."

"Uh, what decision?"

"About your request to use my… f-first name."

Oh crap, I completely forgot about that! I heard a gasp from Yuigahama.

Yukinoshita took another deep breath. "I have accepted it. You are free to call me… Y-Yukino. The same goes for you… Y-Yui."

Yuigahama squealed. "Yukinon!" She leaped out of her seat to hug her. "Finally! It's been too long!"

I chuckled. "You sound like you just won the lottery." Admittedly, I felt the same way, though I'm much better at hiding it. Oh yeah, I technically need to give my permission too, right? "Anyways, uh, feel free to use Hachiman now, I guess."

Yuigahama- wait, I have to shorten that now. Anyways, Y-Yui exclaimed, "Hikki's better! But you need to use Yui!"

I sighed. "Yeah I know… Y-Yui." Ah, that's embarrassing.

Yuigahama's face went red, but she smiled. "T-Thanks, Hikki!"

I nodded, before focusing on Yukinoshi- sorry, just Y-Yukino. How am I stuttering this much in my thoughts? "So, uh, you wanna go first, or…?"

"Hachiman."

I blinked. That was Yukinosh- Yukino who said that? Without a stutter? "Uh, I heard that right, didn't I?"

Yukino sighed. "Is your brain deteriorating? A cranial nerve examination may be necessary. I fear for the future of your hearing."

"Oi. I just wasn't expecting you to say it so easily… Yukino." There. I said it.

Her face immediately reddened, but she still smirked. "How unfortunate. Perhaps I'll need to repeat my words for you, Hachiman?"

I crossed my arms and smirked. "Heh, go ahead Yukino."

Yukino opened her mouth-

"W-What about me?!" Isshiki suddenly cried out.

Ah. She's probably feeling very left out right now. "Call me something that isn't 'senpai,' and I'll think about it," I replied.

"Ehh?! But senpai is senpai!"

"And Isshiki is Isshiki."

She pouted, but it had no effect on me. Eventually, to my mild surprise, she relented. "W-Well, uh, I'll maybe think about it?"

Honestly, I thought she would either drop it or continue to insist. I didn't think that my "demand" would actually work. Should I take it back? Eh, she'll probably be annoying if I did.

"I'm super happy for you four!" Komachi barged in out of nowhere. "But the time's almost up!" She pointed at the screen.

Eh? Already? I looked at the screen, and yup, it was already at ten seconds. Huh, time sure goes by quickly. At least I feel a lot better than I did when the episode ended.

Welp, time to see what the next episode has in store. Maybe if I'm lucky, the privacy violations won't be so bad?

Haha, very funny.

Chapter Text

Empty Empty Empty Haruno Shiromeguri Empty

Orimoto Miura Hayama Tobe Ebina Kawasaki

Empty Empty Tsurumi Hiratsuka Zaimokuza Totsuka

Empty Isshiki Komachi Hachiman Yukinoshita Yuigahama

Screen

Watching My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Terrible, As Expected

Episode 05

I blinked. I rubbed my eyes. Nine seconds left on the countdown. Huh… for some reason, it felt like the countdown was stuck on ten seconds for a while. I must be going insane.

Man, wouldn't it be great if the countdown froze at one second and never played? And then we were all teleported back home? And no one remembered any of this?

Ha, that's really funny. Unfortunately, our glorious voice-sama isn't nice enough to do that. I never thought my luck was bad enough to get a sadistic god like that…

Anyways, since Kawasaki-saki showed up at the end of the last episode, I'm guessing that this episode will probably be about dealing with her request. I don't remember meeting her before that. Unless my brain blocked out a memory?

I couldn't ponder any further, as the countdown struck zero. The screen faded to black, before displaying the episode.

The scene opens to a shot of Sobu. It switches to a shot inside a classroom, with Hachiman and Hiratsuka talking.

"Um… No, I'm not late. It's what you call 'executive work hours.'"

Wait a minute, isn't this where-

"What kind of lousy executive are you?" Tsurumi interrupted my monologue.

I blinked with surprise. RumiRumi, should someone your age really be saying such cruel words?

Yukinoshi- er, Yukino giggled (cutely) next to me. "Even Tsurumi-san is well aware of your laziness, Hiki-slothful-kun."

Oh? Avoiding the use of my first name by using a nickname instead? Wait, I don't think that was what I should have focused on in that sentence. "Another person who has become blind to the truth," I replied, turning to Tsurumi with mock disappointment. "How disappointing, RumiRumi."

Tsurumi wasn't deterred. "What truth?"

I smirked. "That I'm the-"

"Don't say it," Hiratsuka piped up, before sighing. "I'm not in the mood to hear you. Let's get this headache over with," she said, referring to the on-screen scene.

Oi! I wasn't done speaking, and that's supposed to be my line! Granted, this entire viewing is a headache.

"As one of the elite, my work day starts-"

"Weren't you a full-time house-husband?" Hiratsuka counters. "You even said, 'When you work, you lose.'"

"'As one of the elite,'" Komachi deadpanned, looking at me with a disappointed expression. I didn't respond to her, though I felt my face flush with embarrassment.

"Even Hikigaya-kun can't keep up with his logic, huh?" Shiromeguri commented, before giggling. "It's funny hearing him speak!"

Haruno snorted. Compared to what he's said before, this is nothing. But I appreciate the innocence, Meguri. Makes things a little more entertaining.

Their talk attracts the attention of Yuigahama and Totsuka, who watch their conversation from afar.

Hachiman doesn't give up. "Well, you see, the very idea that tardiness is a sin itself is wrong."

"Interesting. I'll let you explain before I punch you."

Should a teacher really be saying that outloud? Kawasaki asked herself, not for the first time.

"The police don't do anything until a crime has been committed, and heroes always arrive late. Yet no one ever criticizes them for their tardiness." Hachiman puts a hand on his face, as Hiratsuka starts to reel back. "From another standpoint, you could say tardiness is justice- Wait, please don't punch me!"

His words are futile, as the camera shakes and Hachiman is shown struggling to get up from the ground. Hiratsuka has her hand in a fist.

If I showed this to the school board, wouldn't Hiratsuka immediately get fired? Not that I would, but what if the voice decides to spice things up?

Nah. I don't know anyone on the school board, so there would be little entertainment value for the voice. Besides, Hiratsuka really does care for all of her students. That's plainly obvious from how she's helped me. Even if those punches sometimes make me think otherwise…

Yuigahama giggled. I forgot how silly Hikki got at times!

Kawasaki watched the screen with a ticking eyebrow. Seriously, this feels illegal! Hiratsuka-sensei is lucky that Hikigaya likes her so much…

"'Tardiness is justice!' I gotta use that one next time!" Ebina said, laughing.

Orimoto also laughed. "I-I think he deserved that one!"

Miura smirked. "Hikio says some, like, really stupid things sometimes."

Hiratsuka's expression softens as she notices Kawasaki walking in. "Sheesh. We've got way too many problem kids in this class. Kawasaki Saki. Are you working 'executive hours' too?"

Kawasaki Saki. You know, that makes a lot more sense than Kawasaki Saki-Saki. Am I stupid for not realizing that until now? Especially since that's not the first time I've heard her name?

…Who needs to remember names anyways?

"Even sensei thinks you're a problem, Saki-Saki!" Ebina teased her.

Kawasaki rolled her eyes. "Least I didn't get punched, unlike our resident 'protagonist.'"

Kawasaki wordlessly nods in greeting and continues walking past Hachiman on the ground. At the same time, Hachiman opens his eyes and sits up, giving him a look under her skirt.  "Black Lace!"

…Oh yeah, this is where I saw her panties. Am I about to die?

I felt Yukinoshita glaring daggers at me. "You disgusting pervert."

"You're saying something now, but you didn't say anything when I accidentally looked into the service club back in Episode 3? I'm sensing some biases here," I countered. Wait, is it really a good idea to bring that up?

"That's…" Yukinoshita hesitated. "...irrelevant."

"As a neutral party in this matter, Hachiman is clearly innocent!" Zaimokuza suddenly declared.

"Objection! Senpai is clearly a pervert!" Isshiki retorted with a hand raised.

"Bzzt! Irrelevant, your honor!" Zaimokuza said, making an X with his arms. "Hachiman was forced down into that position by our sensei! As shown on camera, he was only pushing himself up and happened to take a look!"

"But he didn't avert his eyes immediately!" Isshiki pointed out.

What is this, Ace Attorney? I didn't sign up for Zaimokuza to be my lawyer!

"Hachiman was clearly not given enough-!"

"Now, now, settle down. You both make valid arguments," Hiratsuka interrupted, sounding exhausted. "With that said, there's no need to argue about this."

"Indeed. This discussion is irrelevant," Yukinoshita interjected. "It is already a well known fact that Hik-, er, H-Hachiman is a pervert."

Yuigahama looked at her seatmate, puzzled. "Umm… should you really be saying that about Hikki?"

"Do not allow relationships to get in the way of the truth," Yukinoshita replied wisely.

…What am I even listening to anymore?

A few rows behind, Kawasaki stared blankly at the commotion below. …I was feeling embarrassed, but after seeing that, I don't even feel anything anymore.

Kawasaki glances over her shoulder. "...Are you a moron?" she asks, before she sits in her seat and looks out the window.

Exactly how I feel to everyone who said a word down there, Kawasaki thought.

OPENING PLAYS

"So, Saki-Saki!" Ebina chirped up. "How does it feel for someone to get a peek at your-"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Err… is it because Hikitani-kun didn't deny being a-"

"I don't. Want to. Talk about it."

"Yes, of course!" Ebina backed away from the topic. Saki-Saki's gotten so grouchy!

Kawasaki sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Sorry about that. I'm just… a little stressed. I'm sure you can guess why."

Ebina giggled. "Instead, you should have hoped for Hayama to have walked over Hiki- W-Wait, don't glare at me like that!"

Kawasaki gave her a glare. "You know what'll happen, Hina."

"Please forgive me, Kawasaki-sama!" Ebina prostrated herself. However, she was smirking. At least my plan worked. Now she's no longer thinking about… whatever happened earlier. Seriously, how does Hikigaya-kun keep getting into these situations?

Meanwhile, Orimoto was laughing. "Hahaha! How does Hikigaya keep getting into these situations?"

"Hikio is just doing Hikio things. Simple as that," Miura replied.

Tobe sighed. "Y'know, I kinda wish I was in Hikitani-kun's place- That was a joke!" he exclaimed out after seeing Miura's death glare.

"It better have been!" she glowered. "Besides, that's not something to joke about!"

"Hey now, no need to be so loud," Hayama pleasantly replied. "Kakeru didn't mean anything cruel by it."

Miura opened her mouth, but after looking at Hayama, she closed it and looked away. "Hmph."

Hayama chuckled to himself. She's definitely a little moody right now.

Hmm, the entire third row has been saying things. No one else has said anything though. Author's been getting lazy-

"Ohh, Hikigaya-kun~" Haruno called out from the top. For some reason, I felt shivers down my spine. "You know, you should only be looking at one person's panties~."

Yukinoshita immediately sensed her intentions and flushed. N-Nee-san?!

"Look, to be fair, I wasn't dating your sister at the time," I called back, turning around to face her. "Also, what?"

"Don't act stupid, Hikigaya-kun~! You know exactly what I mean."

Well, yeah I do, but why would I acknowledge it? "I'm just an innocent young man. I'm afraid I've missed your point entirely," I sarcastically replied.

"Oh? Being cheeky now?" Haruno giggled. "I suppose I'll let it go. I'm sure a better opportunity will pop up~!"

Ugh, she's right. I'm in a torture chamber, aren't I? While turning back to the screen, I happened to glance at the subject of our short conversation. Whoa, you're super red, Yukino. You better not be calling me a pervert right now!

Indeed, Yukinoshita was still blushing from the two's comments. She looked down in her lap. Dummy Hachiman. Dummy. Dummy.

Hm, looks like the opening's almost over. Oh wait, I didn't notice Zaimokuza analyzing the opening this time. Eh, it's better this way. How many times can you analyze an opening anyways? Especially one that's supposed to be a romantic-comedy.

The screen returns to show Hachiman exiting a building called "Yoyogi Prep Schools," with a brochure in his hand.

Isshiki gasped. "Senpai cares about his studies?!"

"Oi, that's cruel of you to say," I replied. Don't mock my excellent Japanese grade!

He walks out and notices Kawasaki looking through a glass window advertising a summer school session. She sighs, then walks away.

Kawasaki widened her eyes. Is that how he figured out my situation?

Inside a cafe, Hachiman is about to sit down at a table, when he starts overhearing the people next to him. At the table, Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, and Totsuka are shown. "It's your turn to ask questions next, Yukinon!"

"Huh, what a coincidence," Hiratsuka said. "That's a popular place to go after school, isn't it?"

"Mhm!" Yuigahama nodded. "I wasn't expecting to see Hikki there though!"

"Oi, even I have some social awareness," I snarked back.

"Hard to believe sometimes," Komachi mumbled. I heard that!

"Okay." Yukinoshita glances down at a book. "A question from language arts. Complete this well-known proverb: 'When the wind blows…'"

"...the Keiyo Line stops running?"

"This ain't the Trans Chiba Ultra Quiz." Hachiman sighs. "Yuigahama, the line doesn't 'stop' anymore, it just slows down for the safety of its passengers."

Yukinoshita shakes her head. "The correct answer is 'bucketmakers profit.' Next, a question from geography. Name two of Chiba's regional specialties."

Yuigahama looked up in thought. "Peanut miso and… boiled peanuts?"

"Don't tell me all this prefecture's got are peanuts," Hachiman chimes in.

"Hikigaya has a point," Hiratsuka pointed out, mockingly shaking her head. "How disappointing, Yuigahama."

Yuigahama blushed with embarrassment. "I-It's not something that sticks in my mind!"

Sometimes, it feels like nothing from school sticks for you. Wait, maybe I'm being rude. She passed the Sobu entrance exam after all. Eh, I say that, but after seeing your test scores and the way you study, I suspect foul play.

The others look at him in surprise. "Whoa!" Yuigahama jumped. "Oh, it's just Hikki. For a moment there, I thought you were some weird guy chatting me up..."

"Hikio is pretty weird," Miura pointed out.

"At least he's not the disgusting weird kind," Orimoto chimed up. "I can't imagine Hikigaya acting like that!"

Of all the people here, you're the only one who can't be the one saying that! You literally saw how I acted in middle school! Did you lose your memory?!

"Eh, I suppose," Miura said with a shrug.

"Are you here for the study group too, Hachiman?" Totsuka asked.

Yuigahama had a sour look on her face.  "'Shoot, I didn't invite him! Why is he here?' is written all over your face,"  Hachiman thought.

"Eh?! Hikki!" Yuigahama glared at me.

I raised an eyebrow. "Am I wrong?" I asked her. Do you think I wouldn't recognize that look from a kilometer away?

She blinked. Then she looked away. "W-Well… I guess not. It was instinct though! I-It wasn't like I didn't want you to be around!"

Gee, watch your words. Someone might mistake that for something else! Even if that something else is technically true.

"Don't worry, Senpai. I've had soooo many boys come up to me like that." Isshiki explained. She crossed her arms and closed her eyes. "Just thinking about it kinda pisses me off. Oh, but I wouldn't say what Yui said to you, Senpai!"

"...Thanks guys," I replied to both of them. Heh, even though I knew they had nothing against me, it still makes me feel better to hear that. I've gotten pretty sentimental, huh?

"I believe you weren't invited," Yukinoshita remarked. "What do you want?"

Hachiman looked at her. "Don't explain the situation to me if your only goal is to hurt my feelings."

"How harsh, Yukino-chan~!" Haruno called out.

Yuigahama noticed the object in Hachiman's hand. "What's that?"

He looks at it. "Oh, just brochures for a summer school."

"Summer school?" Tsurumi asked with confusion. Then her eyes lit up. "So Hachiman failed some classes?"

That's really cruel of you to say! And why did your eyes light up at that?! I opened my mouth to explain, but Hiratsuka beat me to the punch.

"Nah, he's actually doing the opposite," she explained. "Either he's learning material for his current classes, or he's getting ahead on future classes. It's to help with college examinations."

"Oh. I didn't know that," Tsurumi replied. She looked at me with (fake) surprise. "I'm surprised Hachiman isn't being lazy."

I was joking last episode, but I'm seriously concerned about her learning too many things from Yukinoshi- Yukino. Just Yukino. Whoever RumiRumi sets her sights on when she gets older, I pray for you! It's a good thing I've already defended myself from her insults.

"Lord Hachiman is far from lazy!" Zaimokuza declared. "With his efforts, he was able to neutralize the ice queen and take down the elites!"

True on the first point, no idea what he's talking about on the second one.

"Shut up," Tsurumi bit back, glaring at Zaimokuza. "You're just really annoying."

"That insult has no effect on me! I've already defended myself!" Zaimokuza stood up and laughed. "The apprentice cannot compare to the real deal!"

Tsurumi looked like she wanted to kill him, but ultimately, she looked back at the screen without another word. This guy is so annoying! Why does Hachiman talk to him?

Her reaction made him raise his arm. "A victory for me!"

Congratulations, Zaimokuza. Maybe one day you'll defeat the ice queen? I'm rooting for you!

"Oh wow, studying for college already?" Yuigahama asked.

"Doesn't everybody start around this time?" Hachiman puts the brochure down. "And I'm aiming for a scholarship from this prep school."

Yuigahama looked confused. "Scrap?"

"Scholarship," Yukinoshita corrects.

(A/N: Just inserting my comment here. This specific line of dialogue is anime original, so it's not reflective of the LN, but does Yuigahama not know what a scholarship is? How?! Unless it's supposed to be that she misheard Hachiman? I have no idea. It's such a minor comment and has zero bearing on anything in the future, but I felt like I had to point it out for my own sake. Ok, comment over.)

"I'm surprised you didn't know what a scholarship was," Hiratsuka commented. "Always thought every high school student would have their eyes on one."

Yuigahama looked embarrassed. "W-Well, I knew the concept of it, but I never knew what it was called! Hehe!"

Hiratsuka looked surprised. "Really? First I've heard of that."

"Some prep schools have started paying for their highest-scoring student's tuition," Hachiman explained. "And if I can get my parents to pay on top of that, I can pocket it."

"Gold digger."

"How utterly deplorable."

Yuigahama and Yukinoshita simultaneously spoke at the same time.

"Not like I'm hurting anyone, so screw you," Hachiman replies.

…Wow, I sounded like an asshole there. Maybe the two girls were right for once?

"U-Um," Totsuka suddenly spoke up. "I don't want to be mean, Hachiman… but a-aren't you hurting your parents by just… pocketing the money?"

"Yeah, Onii-chan! You can't be saying that!" Komachi piled onto me.

"My feelings on the matter have not changed, H-Hachiman," Yukinoshita added. "How utterly deplorable."

Don't think I missed that stutter with my name, Yukino! With that said…

"Yeah, from an outside point of view, I definitely sound like an asshole," I said with a sigh. "I wasn't entirely being serious with what I said. Though, had I actually gotten that scholarship… not sure what I would have done."

"You're being a bad senpai!" Isshiki exclaimed.

"Shaddup." I glanced at Komachi. "That was probably low on points, huh?"

"Hmmm…" She narrowed her eyes at me, before shrugging. "Eh, at least you're self-aware. As your adorable little sister, I'll forgive you just this once!"

I smirked. "All according to plan."

"On the other hand, speaking like that will lose you some points!"

Oops. Shouldn't have said that.

A few rows behind me, Kawasaki furrowed her eyebrows. That whole talk about pocketing the money. I don't like it. I know it was a year ago, but didn't he at least think that his parents needed it? His family is middle-class like mine, right? Though, I have a feeling that he might be better off than me…

"Oh, Onii-chan!"

Behind Hachiman, Komachi and another boy enter the cafe.

"Oh," Kawasaki widened her eyes. "Hikigaya, is this when Taishi told you about my… situation?"

I heard her question. "Yup."

"Your situation?" Ebina questioned with furrowed eyebrows.

Kawasaki hesitated. "...You'll find out. Probably."

Behind her, Shiromeguri closed her eyes. "I think I remember someone mentioning something with this, but that's all I remember…"

Meanwhile, one thought was on Tobe's mind.

Who's Taishi?

Hachiman looked surprised. "Komachi, what're you doing here?"

"A friend of mine wanted to talk to me about some problems," Komachi explained. Taishi bows in greeting.

"Wait, this kid looks similar to Kawasaki-san!" Tobe exclaimed.

"That's because he's, like, her brother, idiot," Miura scolded him.

Tobe blinked. Then his eyes lit up. "Y'know dude, that makes a ton of sense!"

Huh? How does Miura know that? Well, Kawasaki (I won't forget that name!) has been around her clique more often recently. She probably mentioned it at some point.

Hachiman stares blankly for a moment, before it switches to the table with everyone sitting down. Hachiman, Komachi, and Taishi sit on one side, while Totsuka, Yuigahama, and Yukinoshita sit on the other side.

"Oh, nice to meet you! I'm Hikigaya Komachi! Thank you for always putting up with my brother!"

"Nice to meet you. I'm Totsuka Saika, one of his classmates."

"Oh wow, you're cute!" Komachi complimented him. "Right, Onii-chan?"

"Yeah, but he's a guy."

"Oh please, you're such a comedian!" A pause. "Wait, seriously?"

Komachi sheepishly rubbed her head. "Hehe, sorry Saika-chan!"

"D-Don't worry about it!" Totsuka replied, rubbing his head sheepishly. "Hachiman also thought otherwise…"

Well, duh. We all saw that scene in Episode 3.

Totsuka rubs the back of his head, as glitters suddenly take over the screen. "Yeah. I'm a boy."

"Whoever made this really likes giving Totsuka-kun that glitter effect, huh?" Orimoto said with a sweatdrop.

"Isn't this, like, supposed to be from Hikio's perspective?" Miura pointed out. "So it's probably just his fascination kicking in," she said with a giggle.

"Oohhh, that's right!"

I don't like that theory, Miura!

"Nice to meet you!" Yuigahama exclaims. "I'm Yuigahama Yui, one of his classmates too!"

"Oh hello! Nice to meet…" Komachi trails off as she takes a good look at her.

Yuigahama turned to face Komachi. "Is this where you recognized me?"

"Ah, yeah!" Komachi nodded. "I wasn't expecting Onii-chan to see you again."

Yuigahama giggled. "He didn't even recognize me from the accident! It really was luck that we met!"

Komachi giggled with her "In hindsight, I can't believe I'd forget such a cute face in the first place!"

How forgetful are you? I mean, it's one thing to simply forget some random person, but when they're involved in your beloved older brother's car accident… I at least had the excuse of never meeting Yuigahama!

"Are you done yet?" Yukinoshita cuts in. "Nice to meet you. I'm Yukinoshita Yukino. I'm not exactly a classmate of his, nor am I a friend of his, so… I regret to say that I'm an… acquaintance of his?"

"Well, screw your 'regret' and your hesitation!" Hachiman rebukes.

Oh, but past me, she was obviously regretting the fact that she couldn't call me her boyfriend / partner! And her hesitation was because she was going to call me her crush! Heh, I saw through all of your tricks, Yukino!

"Heh," Hiratsuka snorted. "You two's insistence on refusing to call each other more than acquaintances was pretty cute."

"In my defense, I did that with everyone," I pointed out. "Yukino… wasn't an exception." Oops, nearly said her last name there.

Yukinoshita lightly blushed, but spoke without any hesitation. "Excluding Yuigah- ahem, Yui, I followed the same principle as Hachiman."

I felt my face warm up, though I tried to keep it invisible. I'm not sure when I'll get used to her using my name…

Hiratsuka shrugged. "Details, details. What's important is that you've both moved past it." Then she suddenly started sulking. "Now when will someone come into my life like that…"

Tsurumi, who had remained silent for a while, looked at her with confusion. "What's she talking about?"

…I have to explain this, don't I? "She's single," I explained. She's also getting older, but I shouldn't say that part outloud.

Tsurumi furrowed her eyebrows. "What's so bad about that?"

Zaimokuza chuckled. "You shall learn, child," he replied in a deeper tone of voice.

Uh, Zaimokuza, you sounded like a scary villain there! Weren't you supposed to be resisting the elites or something? "Er, Zaimokuza's right. You'll get it when you're older," I explained.

Tsurumi seemed unhappy with the answer, but she relented. "...Okay."

Taishi chooses this time to speak up. "Um… I'm Kawasaki Taishi. I go to the same prep school as Hikigaya-san, and my sister goes to Sobu High with you. She's a second-year. Her name is Kawasaki Saki."

Hachiman, who was pouring something into his coffee, stares wide-eyed at it. He flashbacks to earlier in the episode, when he met Kawasaki.  "Black lace?"

"Why is that how he remembers me?!" Kawasaki screamed in her mind.

Hiratsuka shook her head. "Remembering who a person was through their panty color isn't a great look, Hikigaya."

"In my defense, that was my first interaction with her," I wisely pointed out. "That kind of thing sorta sticks in your mind."

"...I get where you're coming from, but you still sound like a pervert saying that."

"Oh, I'm aware." I know a losing battle when I see one. The fact Yukino or Isshiki haven't called me a pervert yet is surprising. Unless they got their energy out earlier when I actually saw the panties?

I decided to risk a glance to my side. Sure enough, Yukino was glaring at me. Yet, she wasn't saying a word. Uh… are you okay?

She must have noticed my look, because she spoke up with a cold tone. "You know perfectly well my opinion on this matter."

"Yeah, I figured." I'm already a dead man in her eyes. What a surprise. I put my eyes back on the screen, figuring that there was no point in thinking about the topic any further.

…Is Kawasaki going to say anything? I guess not. Huh.

"Oh, Kawasaki-san?" Yuigahama chimed up. "She's kinda the scary type, right?"

"Um, sorry Kawasaki-san!" Yuigahama called out.

"Huh? Oh, it's fine," Kawasaki waved off her concerns.

"You're not friends with her?" Hachiman asked.

"We've talked, I guess, but we're not really friends…" Yuigahama responded delicately. "And hey, that's not something you should ask a girl. It puts us in a hard position."

Oh boo hoo. I'll ask all of the girls that question, and no one can stop me!

"Senpai, you should listen to Yui-san!" Isshiki exclaimed.

"Iroha-chan is right!" Komachi added in with a nod. "Though, I dunno if you took her advice already…"

Mm… I don't feel like arguing about that. "I haven't asked the question since then, if it helps." I think. Maybe I'm forgetting a time I did? Oh well, it doesn't really matter.

Isshiki looked impressed. "Maybe you are learning the ways of interacting with girls…"

Well, I made Yukino fall in love with me, so surely that's a sign that I'm already skilled in that department?

"I don't think I've ever seen Kawasaki-san hanging out with anyone," Totsuka observed.

"So, it's like, Taishi-kun's older sister's turned into a delinquent," Komachi explained. "She's been coming home late every night. He was asking me, like, how to get her back to normal."

"When did she turn into a delinquent?" Yukinoshita asked.

"Only recently," Taishi replied. "She was good enough to get into Sobu High. She was a model student when she was in middle school, and always really nice."

…I'm sorry, but what? She can be nice, yes, but a model student? Almost impossible! That little brat's over exaggerating! Hmm, then again, middle school me is drastically different from the current me. I don't think Kawasaki had a life-shattering rejection though. Or a car accident on the first day of school.

"In short, she changed when she was put in the same class as Hikigaya-kun," Yukinoshita concluded.

"Ha!" Haruno barked out a laugh. "Hikigaya-kun turns girls into delinquents!"

"You're giving me too much credit," I snarked back. Actually, that's a terrifying thought. Yukino or Yuigaha- Yui wearing a leather jacket while acting like they're in some gang taken straight out of a manga from thirty years ago?

…I think I might have nightmares now.

"That's a little rude to say, Haru-san," Shiromeguri pointed out. "I'm sure Hikigaya-kun would actually turn other girls from their delinquent ways!"

Huh, you've got a lot of faith in me. I respect your opinion, but I think you're wrong. Even if I'm a bastion of goodness.

….Wait. If Kawasaki was a delinquent, wouldn't that mean that I turned her away from that lifestyle, therefore making Shiromeguri's statement true?

"Oh, I'm aware," Haruno replied with a giggle. "But isn't it funny to think about?"

"Is it?" Shiromeguri furrowed her eyebrows. "...I suppose it can be. Someone like Hikigaya-kun making girls act badly is pretty absurd!"

Okay, you're starting to give me too much credit. How can you think that after seeing all of my thoughts?

Haruno snorted. "Whatever you say, Meguri."

"Hey, why are you making it sound like I'm the cause?" Hachiman cuts in. "What am I, some kind of germ?"

"I never said that," Yukinoshita replied. "You're just being paranoid, Hikigerma."

"Hey, you just called me one. Don't even try to deny it."

"A slip of the tongue."

"Hikigerma…" Tsurumi muttered. "It sounds scary. I get why Hachiman would have it."

Yukinoshita nodded. "Indeed. A warning must be sent to the masses to warn them. Precautions must be made."

Billions will die. Er, why did that come to mind? "Be thankful that it's not contagious," I said. "Only yours truly suffers the disease."

"It's really lucky that I didn't get infected!" Komachi exclaimed with a cheeky smile.

If it's called Hikigerma, shouldn't you be infected too? It's not like it's called Hachigerm. Oh, maybe it doesn't exist in younger sisters? That's gotta be it!

Suddenly, the screen shows a flashback of Hachiman as a kid.  "I got Hikigerma!"  The kids are playing tag with each other. Kid Hachiman tags a kid, only for the kid to make an X with his arms.  "But I had a barrier up!"

"Barriers don't work on Hikigerma!" Another kid claims as he runs away.

Hachiman returns to the present with a frustrated look on his face.  "Barriers don't work? What is Hikigerma made of?"

"Just like Hachiman, it is an enigma," Yukinoshita "explained" with a satisfied smirk.

Zaimokuza smirked. "With Hachiman's power of deception, it is no surprise that an ice queen like you cannot decode the secrets behind his disease!" He nodded his head as he spoke.

Aw, you give me too much credit. Even I don't know what it's made of. Hopefully it doesn't kill me early…

Behind them, Tobe shivered. "I hope I don't get infected, dude!"

"What are you talking about?" Miura chimed in with an annoyed tone. "It's not real. Hikio's just being weird again."

"Of course," Hayama piped up suddenly. "Sometimes, it's fun to imagine those kinds of things, isn't it?" He finished with a smile.

"...I mean, sure," Miura replied with an unconvinced tone.

"Nah, you're definitely right Hayama!" Orimoto exclaimed, earning a glare from Miura. She ignored it. "Hikigaya's got the right idea too!"

"Yeah! What she said!" Tobe added in. "It's all just for fun!"

I overheard Orimoto's words and raised an eyebrow. Not the type of response I expected from you. Good thing middle school me isn't here. He'd explode just from an indirect compliment like that.

"You said she comes home late, but how late are we talking about?" Yuigahama asked, stirring herself a drink. "I come home pretty late myself…"

"Well, a bit past 5am," Taishi replied.

"That's practically morning!"

"What Yui said!" Ebina exclaimed, nudging her seatmate. "What were you up to Saki-Saki?!"

Kawasaki looked at her for a moment, then looked away with an uncomfortable look. "You'll see."

"Have your parents approached her at all?" Totsuka asked.

Taishi shook his head. "Both of our parents work all the time, and we have a younger brother and a younger sister, so they can't do anything about her."

Kawasaki flinched. I still feel guilty about what I did. Seeing this just makes me feel even guiltier… and why is this being shown to everyone anyways?

"Family circumstances. I see," Yukinoshita remarked with a hint of melancholy. "Every family has their own."

Hachiman looks at her with a strange expression, before Yukinoshita schools herself. "Okay."

Miura raised an eyebrow. Huh, what's THAT about?

Next to her, Hayama internally frowned. Right. Yukino still struggled with Haruno and… her.

Ah, Yukino-chan. Haruno crossed her arms. A shame you were like that. Though, part of that was my fault.

I bet that's what they're all thinking right now. Huh? I'm a mind-reader? Nah, I'm not Hiratsuka. I still don't know how she always knows when I'm thinking about her lack of a husband or her old age!

Hiratsuka suddenly spoke up, her eyes looking scary. "Hikigaya? I had a strange feeling that you were thinking something bad about me again."

See! She's scary! "You must be delusional," I replied. "Why would I do that at this moment?" I could feel a bead of sweat on my face. Don't attack me right here, please!

Hiratsuka narrowed her eyes. "Hmm. I suppose I'll think about it."

You'll think about what? Whether I'm lying or not? Just take my word for it, please! I'm already going through a lot, I don't need to feel your scary old-woman punches again!

Inwardly, Hiratsuka chuckled to herself. Can't lie, it's fun to mess with Hikigaya. No way would I actually punch him in this situation.

"You plan on doing something?" Hachiman asked.

"Taishi-kun is the younger brother of Kawasaki Saki-san, a student at our school," Yukinoshita explained. "Furthermore, he is asking for the sake of Kawasaki Saki-san. I believe this to be within the scope of the Service club's mandate."

Hachiman sweatdrops, before Komachi taps his shoulder and gives a broad smile.

"You could have just said 'we'll help you out,'" Isshiki pointed out with a deadpan.

Yukinoshita had the decency to blush with embarrassment. "Y-You'll have to forgive my manner of speaking."

"That's just how Yuki-nee speaks!" Komachi said with a grin.

The scene switches to the service club with Hachiman, Totsuka, Yuigahama, and Yukinoshita. "After some thought, I concluded that it would be best if she decided to resolve the issue on her own, rather than being forced by us."

"Well, yeah, I'd say," Hachiman agrees. "So, what do we do, exactly?"

"Have you ever heard of 'animal-assisted therapy'?"

"...What?" Miura asked with confusion.

"I've heard about that!" Tobe exclaimed. "Knew a guy who told me about it. But, uh, dude, how does that help out Kawasaki-san?"

"Honestly, I don't even know," Kawasaki chimed in with furrowed eyebrows. "I don't remember seeing any animals during their… attempts."

I slowly turned my head to Yukinoshita, who refused to meet my eyes. We both know why it didn't work. Stupid girl.

The group of four are shown standing outside with a cat inside the box. "So what are we doing with my cat?" Hachiman asks.

"Aww! He's adorable!" Shiromeguri cooed. "What's his name?"

"It's Kamakura!" Komachi exclaimed before I could. "He's the head of our household!

Komachi, don't leak information on the family hierarchy! If Kamakura finds out about this, he'll punish you by not letting you pet him! I'll still love him though.

"What a lovely name!" Shiromeguri replied. "Cats are lovely!"

"I was not aware that Shiromeguri-senpai was a wise woman," Yukinoshita said with approval.

You'd say that about anyone who likes cats.

"We will draw out her inner kindness by giving her a chance to frolic with an animal," Yukinoshita explained. "If it moves her heart, she'll adopt it."

"Wait, that was your plan?" Kawasaki asked with a deadpan.

"Certainly wasn't mine," I quipped.

Yukinoshita sighed. "Apologizes, Kawasaki-san. I was not aware of your allergy to cats at the time."

"Hehe, yeah, sorry about that!" Yuigahama sheepishly chimed in.

"Same here!" Totsuka added.

"Huh? I mean, yeah, the allergy wouldn't have helped matters, but what makes you think it would have worked in the first place?" Kawasaki asked. "I'm not the type to randomly adopt a pet on the street."

"She's not some gang boss from a decade ago, you know," Hachiman pointed out.

"What Hikigaya said," Kawasaki added. "No offense, Yukinoshita, but your plan had a zero percent chance of working in the first place."

Yukinoshita narrowed her eyes for a moment, before sighing. "Alas, you are correct. I unfortunately had no data on you."

"Welp, good thing our plan failed in the first place anyways," I said. Not like I had any faith in it, but Yukino was pretty insistent. Wait, have I always been weak to her?

"Even if it worked," Isshiki spoke up, finger on her chin, "Wouldn't you have to get your cat back, senpai?"

"...Don't ask about that part."

"Saki-Saki has such a cold heart!" Ebina cried out. "How could she reject such a lovely boy?!"

Kawasaki whirled on her seatmate. "Why are you making it sound like I'm rejecting a person?"

Yukinoshita ignores Hachiman's point and holds up a piece of paper. "I've determined each of the tasks you need to do. To your places, please."

A few minutes pass, in which Kamakura is shown sleeping soundly inside the cardboard box. Suddenly, he is woken up by Yukinoshita standing next to him.

"Meow," Kamakura meowed.

"Um, what's Yukino-san doing?" Isshiki asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"M-Maybe she's checking on Kamakura?" Totsuka suggested.

Yukinoshita crouched down. "Meow. Meow," she meowed back.

"Oh."

"Oh."

"Meow."

"Meow. Meow."

"What are you doing?" Hachiman suddenly asks from behind Yukinoshita.

"I'd like to ask the same thing," Hiratsuka commented.

"Is she stupid?" Tsurumi asked suddenly.

Yukinoshita's face was all red. She was embarrassed that so many people saw her moment of weakness. Despite that, she replied to Tsurumi's question with no hesitation. "I was simply communicating with Hachiman's cat. Is there a problem?"

"Is there a problem?" Yukinoshita asks, standing up.

"No, I mean, you were trying to talk to Kamakura-"

"I believe I ordered you to remain on standby. I see. You can't even do something that simple," Yukinoshita turned around with a cold expression. "I factored your stupidity into my plan, but frankly, I had no idea you were this worthless. What would it take to drill my orders into your less-than-elementary school brain?

"Her eyes say, 'One more word, and I'll kill you.'"

Tsurumi looked at the screen with widened eyes. "U-Um, no…" she replied to Yukinoshita's original question.

Huh, terrifying your apprentice isn't the move I was expecting, Yukino.

Yukinoshita winced. "My apologies. Those words on screen are… certainly not aimed towards you."

I sure hope you wouldn't say that to a child!

Hiratsuka sighed. "I'm sure you're well aware, but such words are excessive for… anyone, really. Even if it's Hikigaya."

"Y-Yeah, um, Hiratsuka-sensei has a point," Totsuka added nervously. "I wouldn't like that said to me…"

"She's a bitch, after all," Miura muttered, quiet enough so that Yukinoshita didn't hear.

Yukinoshita looked conflicted. Then, she sighed. "Unfortunately, you are not wrong." She turned to me suddenly. "This is overdue, but I apologize for my harsh words, Hachiman."

Huh? "Huh? You don't need to apologize-"

"On the contrary," Yukinoshita interrupted me. "It may have been a year ago, but allowing my partner to hear those kinds of things is unacceptable." Then, to my surprise, she bowed. "Please accept my apology."

Ah jeez, I didn't expect this. It really isn't a big deal. Then again, I might have appreciated that apology more if it was a year ago. Too little, too late! I'm just kidding. "If you insist," I replied with a smirk, "Apology accepted."

A small smile appeared on Yukinoshita's face. "It's a relief to hear that."

Hachiman's phone suddenly starts ringing. He picks it up. "Hey, Komachi. What's-"

"Oh, Onii-san? This is Taishi. Hikigaya-san told me-"

"Who told you that you could call me 'Onii-san'?!" Hachiman angrily replies, before ending the call.

You're lucky Hikigaya. I would have pummeled you if I was there! Kawasaki angrily shouted in her head. Only I can yell at my siblings!

Oi, don't attack me! Wait, why did I think that?

"You shouldn't have been so rude to Taishi-kun, Onii-chan!" Komachi commented, before she frowned. "Though, calling you Onii-san's a little weird…"

That's what I'm saying! That little bug doesn't know anything about me! He hasn't earned the sacred right to call me by that name!

"Why did you hang up so quickly?" Tsurumi asked.

"...I was busy." I'm not saying that him calling me Onii-san pissed me off!

"Senpai was just annoyed by that nickname, I bet!" Isshiki barged in, ruining my plans. What are you doing?!

"No, I was annoyed it was him who said that," I countered. On accident. Oops.

"Hah? What's that supposed to mean?" Kawasaki asked with a dangerous edge in her voice. "I thought you were cool with my siblings."

I didn't mean to get her angry! Also, how could anyone not get along with Kei-chan? Wait, that's besides the point.

…If I'm being honest, my dislike for Taishi almost entirely comes from him being close with Komachi. Besides that, he's completely fine. Oh dear, that makes me sound like a serious brocon. Oh wait, the nickname annoyed me too. But compared to some of the other people in my life, he's fine. I don't mind him.

"Oh, I am," I replied to Kawasaki. "Remember, this was a year ago, yeah? Your brother just… sorta rubbed me the wrong way. I'm over it now though." Well, not entirely, but at this point, I've accepted it.

"Hmm," Kawasaki didn't sound very convinced, but she shrugged her shoulders. "Fine, I'll let it go." He's been through a lot, not gonna hold it against him. Not like he's hurt Taishi.

Oh thank god. Your kindness truly has no bounds, Kawasaki-sama!

A moment later, Taishi calls back.

"Hey, why'd you hand up on me?!"

"I'm busy right now. I'm waiting for your sister."

"About the plan… My sister's allergic to cats."

So that's why I didn't see the cat, Kawasaki thought to herself.

The group of four are shown in the locker area, hiding behind one of the lockers. "She might not feel comfortable talking to her parents because they're too close," Totsuka explained. "Perhaps she could talk to another grown-up?"

Kawasaki's eyebrow ticked. "...No offense, but that was not gonna work on me."

"W-Well, oops?" Totsuka replied with a laugh.

Hindsight is hindsight. None of us knew her well enough to know at that point. At least Totsuka's suggestion was more reasonable than Yukino's. Seriously, what were we thinking with that one?

"Saki-saki has such a cold heart, that's why!" Ebina teased.

"Wouldn't surprise me," Miura muttered quietly enough that no one overheard.

Kawasaki walks down a hallway, when she runs into Hiratsuka leaning against the wall. "Kawasaki."

"Need me for something?"

"I hear you've been getting home pretty late these days. What are you doing, and where?"

"She got straight to the point, huh?" Isshiki observed.

"Not like it would have worked either way she went about it," Kawasaki commented, rolling her eyes. "I wasn't telling her shit."

Well yeah, you just told us. No need to say it twice.

"So crude!" Shiromeguri exclaimed.

"To be fair, most of us wouldn't tell anything to our teachers," Ebina pointed out. "Not unless we were close with them, and I doubt any of us were close to Hiratsuka-sensei. Well, excluding Hikitani-kun and Yukinoshita-san of course!"

"How cruel of you to say, Ebina," Hiratsuka teasingly retorted. "But I get it. Still, I'll do my best for you kiddos."

Like how you always do your best to punch me? Though, it's a price I'm willing to pay for her advice. Who knows what I would've done without it.

"Who'd you hear that from?"

"My client wishes to remain anonymous." Hiratsuka moves away from the wall. "Please answer the question."

"Not like it matters where I go," Kawasaki dodged the question. "And it's not like I'm causing anyone trouble."

I know a bug that would have disagreed.

"But you might in the future," Hiratsuka retorts, making Kawasaki flinch. "You're in high school. Have you stopped to consider how your parents feel?"

"Wow Shizuka-chan! I didn't think you'd guilt trip your own students!" Haruno called out with a smirk.

"It's my job to help them," Hiratsuka replied, waving a hand. "Guilt tripping? Pfft. I'll pull out all the stops if I have to."

See, you sound kinda cool saying that, but I'm worried you're including punching me in that statement. Please tell me I'm wrong!

"Ha!" Haruno barked out a laugh. "I guess that's why your students love you so much!"

"We sure do!" Tobe exclaimed.

Hiratsuka smirked and closed her eyes. "Heh. No need to flatter me."

Orimoto stared at the teacher. I've never seen a teacher like her at my school. She's unique.

Kawasaki kept her face neutral. She might sound like she's in the right there, but try being on the other end of the guilt tripping.

For a moment, Kawasaki seems conflicted, but she manages to respond. "Not like you'd know. You've never been a parent before. I mean, you're single."

Hiratsuka staggers as if she had been struck. She collapses to the ground.

The Hiratsuka in the theater mirrored her counterpart's actions. "G-Gah…"

How come when someone else mentions her lack of a husband, she simply despairs, but when I say it, I get pummeled by the force of a thousand suns? Inequality, I tell you!

"You went too far, Saki-Saki!" Ebina exclaimed. "How cruel of you!"

Kawasaki winced. "Er, sorry Hiratsuka-sensei," she spoke up, genuinely sounding apologetic. "I, uh… didn't want to deal with you."

"Sensei, you might want to think about your own future more than mine,"
Kawasaki says as she walks away. "Like getting married, for starters."

"I can tell!" Hiratsuka shouted from the ground. "Jeez, my students are so cruel," she muttered.

"I-I'm sure you'll find someone someday!" Totsuka offered.

"Indeed!" Zaimokuza nodded.

"If senpai can get a girlfriend, surely you can find a boyfriend too!" Isshiki chimed in.

My eyebrow twitched. "Was that necessary?" Don't go acting like I'm a blemish on society. Also, aren't you insulting yourself there, Isshiki? Where's your boyfriend, huhhhh?

"Hey! Hikki's got plenty of good things going for him!" Yuigahama protested.

"Unfortunately, I concur," Yukinoshita added with her eyes closed. "I would not accept any less than what I've got."

"What do you mean unfortunately…" I muttered. At least my partner is defending me. Even if it sounds backhanded. So, screw you Isshiki!

Isshiki seemed slightly taken aback, her face flushing slightly. "Eh? Well, I guess you guys aren't wrong…"

Yeah, take that! Wait, didn't you give up a little too quickly?

Back behind the locker, the group of four all sigh. "I feel sorry for sensei," Totsuka says.

"I'm going home!" Hiratsuka cries out as she walks away.

"Can't someone just marry her? Please?"

"No worries, Hiratsuka-sensei," Hayama suddenly spoke up with a smile. "Like Totsuka-kun said, I'm sure you will find someone soon."

Eh? I wasn't expecting you to- actually, on second thought, that's not surprising at all.

Hiratsuka, who finally lifted herself back onto the chair, chuckled. "I appreciate it. And Hikigaya? Appreciate the support."

Is that sarcasm? I can't actually tell. "No problem, sensei," I replied.

"Don't worry, we're in the same boat Shizuka!" Haruno exclaimed. "Oh, poor me~."

"I think my reasons are different from yours, Haruno," Hiratsuka retorted. "No doubt that if you really went after someone, they'd have no chance."

"Hehe. Maybe you're right~."

That's a scary thought. I pray for the poor soul who gets pursued by Haruno.

The group of four are shown sitting by some stairs. "If she changed once for the worse, then if she changes again, it'll be for the better!" Yuigahama exclaims.

"Um, I don't think that's how it works," Shiromeguri wisely pointed out. "Can't someone just change for the worse again?"

See, that's the pessimistic attitude I'm looking for! I still don't know why I went with this plan here. Just by looking at Kawasaki, I knew that this specific plan here would have failed. Maybe I felt too lazy to suggest anything else?

"I-It was just an idea!" Yuigahama defended herself. "I don't actually believe that!"

"So, how are we going to change her?" Yukinoshita asked.

"There's only one reason why a girl would change!" Yuigahama stands up with a mild blush. "Like, love?"

"So, you tried the 'I can fix her' strategy?" Hiratsuka asked with a snort. "Bold move."

"The what?" Tsurumi asked her seatmate.

Hiratsuka widened her eyes. "A-Ah, um," she scrambled to make up an explanation. "It's where a guy tries to help a girl out by being in a relationship with them. Over time, the girl is, er, helped to become better. There's… more to it than that, but I'll spare you the details."

"Hm." Tsurumi looked at me. "Does it work the other way around?"

Why are you looking at me? I don't like the implication you're making, RumiRumi!

"It's not guaranteed to work at all in the first place," Hiratsuka explained, oblivious to her implication. "But yes, there are girls who try the same strategy on guys."

"Interesting," was all Tsurumi said. Oh boy, you'll be in a world of hurt if you try that on anyone.

Orimoto perked up. "Wait, but who did they use for their plan? Was it Hikigaya?"

"Considering Kawasaki-san's lack of a boyfriend, I'm guessing it failed," Miura snidely commented.

"You don't have one either," Kawasaki retorted.

"What?!" Miura glared at her. "My situation is different than yours! It's just-"

"You've got someone you like, but you don't want to confess to them?" Kawasaki correctly deduced her situation. "Meanwhile, I don't have anyone I like. So why would I want to date?"

As frustrating as it was for her, Miura couldn't retort. She forced her eyes back to the screen, glaring at it. You bitch! You didn't have to say it like that!

Meanwhile, Orimoto pouted. Boo, no one answered my question! Oh well, I'll get to see right here!

Kawasaki unlocks her bike with a yawn. As she's about to hop on, she's interrupted by Hayama walking up to her. "Hey there. You look tired. Been working after school? I hope you're not overextending yourself."

Wait, Hayato-kun? Orimoto gasped. Oh, Miura's gonna be maaaaad!

"Hayato?!" Miura whipped her head to face him. "Why were you going along with their plan?!"

"Haha," Hayama rubbed the back of his head. "They asked me for help, and I couldn't refuse a classmate in need."

How lame, Haruno thought. Standard typical Hayato-kun answer.

Miura groaned. "That's so… like you, Hayato." Maybe I should have acted like that to get Hayato to act like that with me.

"Thanks for your concern," Kawasaki simply replies.

"Hey…" Hayama mutters. "If you need a shoulder, I've got one." His face glitters and shines.

Kyahhh~! He's so hot! Miura fangirled over Hayama in her head.

Kawasaki declines him and walks with her bike. "No thanks, I've got enough."

I covered my mouth to hide my laughter. Thank you Kawasaki for giving me that memory! And now I've got a new POV of it! Maybe you aren't so bad, voic- ha, just kidding. You'll forever be dead to me.

I heard a snort next to me. I glanced in the corner of my eye to see Yukino also covering her mouth. Look at you, copying me. You just loooove me that much, huh? Well, she's got her own agenda against Hayama, so it's probably just that.

Hayama meets up with the group of four. "Looks like she turned me down."

Hachiman tries to hold a laugh in. "Y-Yeah. Good job." He breaks down into laughter.

"Onii-chan, it's rude to laugh!" Komachi scolded me.

Zaimokuza had no such reservations. "HAHA, BWAHAHAHAHA! You got r-rejected! Rejected! Not such hot stuff after all, getting rejected! Bwahahaha!"

Oi, don't just copy the source material's reaction, Zaimokuza. Even if the scene is objectively hilarious, it's unoriginal. Wait, huh, what? What was that thought there? I must be going insane.

(A/N: Zaimokuza's reaction is just ripped from the light novel. If you're confused, he was with the others there. Anime removed him for some reason, so I simply just copied his reaction to Hayama getting rejected there. I got lazy lol.)

Haruno stared at the screen with a neutral expression. And another lame reaction. C'mon, I know you're bothered, aren't ya, Hayato-kun?

"It's not nice to laugh!" Totsuka scolds him.

"Y-Yeah, what I said!" Totsuka joined in.

"Sorry, sorry," I said insincerely. "It's just rare to see Hayama's flirting fail."

Zaimokuza's laughter cooled down. "Heh. My gratitude to you, Sir Hayama," he said, turning around to face you. "Thank you for the good laugh."

Hayama's face twitched. "I don't mind," was all he replied with.

Hoh? Haruno didn't immediately dismiss Hayama in her mind. Wasn't expecting you to sound so bothered there, Hayato-kun~.

"Still, it's rude!" Komachi scolded, before crossing her arms and sighing. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Don't sound like a disappointed mom saying that, please?" I replied.

Meanwhile, Miura felt conflicted. It pisses me off to see them laughing at Hayato. But… better than Kawasaki thinking she had a chance.

"Don't worry, it's no big deal," Hayama replies with a smile.

Right after he says this, Hachiman's phone rings. With an annoyed look, he answers the phone. "I'm not your brother!"

"Oooh, that's why you said that!" Komachi realized. "Sorry for Taishi-kun annoying you, Onii-chan!"

"Just tell the bu-" I stopped myself from saying "bug" in Kawasaki's vicinity. "Er, just tell him to never do that again."

Kawasaki narrowed her eyes. He was about to say something there wasn't he?

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Komachi replies on the other side. "Well, whatever. Onii-chan, Taishi-kun's sister got a call from some weird cafe."

The second she said those words, Hachiman's eyes widened with horror.

MIDDLE OF THE EPISODE

"Why'd you look so concerned?" Hiratsuka asked as the screen faded to black.

"You'll see," I simply said. No way I was gonna forget that maid cafe. For… various reasons.

Zaimokuza's eyes shined. "Ah ha! This must have been where you learned the location of the heavenly place!"

"A what?" Tsurumi questioned.

"E-Eh…" Zaimokuza sweatdropped. "Lord Hachiman, please assist me!"

"Seriously? You're not even going to try?" I asked.

"The ice princess will demolish me with her attacks!"

I don't think calling RumiRumi an "ice princess" will help your case, even if it's true. "Fine." I focused my attention on Tsurumi. "All you need to know is that it's not heavenly. That's all."

She narrowed her eyes. "What does that mean?"

"It'll show you on the screen. So, as much as it hurts me to say, just keep watching." Wait, why am I avoiding saying the words "Maid Cafe?"

"...Fine," Tsurumi crossed her arms. "It's probably really boring anyways."

…Surprisingly, you're wrong. Then again, I've only been there once. If I tried going to another one, Yukino would probably find out and drag me somewhere else.

"Saki-Saki, what terrible things were you up to?!" Ebina cried out.

"Nothing!" Kawasaki exclaimed. "It was an ordinary job. I dunno why Hikigaya's acting all weird about it."

I wouldn't call working as a bartender in an expensive bar while breaking age laws "ordinary," but you do you.

"Maybe he thought the cafe that called was someplace else?" Shiromeguri suggested behind her. "I'm sure that would give him the wrong idea."

"...That might be it," Kawasaki said with a nod. "Though, it makes me wonder what Hikigaya thought it was."

Wow, Shiromeguri nailed it. Not so air headed after all, huh?

Hachiman, Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, and Totsuka all stood outside a building, looking upwards.

"So she received a call from the manager of a cafe called "Angel" something?" Yukinoshita asked.

"Angel?" Miura said. "That doesn't sound very reputable."

"Haha, I was thinking the same thing!" Orimoto added in. "Now I get why Hikigaya acted like that!"

"Is it? I've seen several places with 'Angel' in their name," Tobe commented. "Though, an all night place does sound sus!"

Say the whole word Tobe! Don't abbreviate it!

"...Yeah, whatever," Kawasaki commented.

"Yeah," Hachiman replied. "I looked around, and there are only two cafes in Chiba City with that name and are open all night."

"And this is one of them?"

A sign is shown with a stairwell. The sign explains that this is a maid cafe.

"...Did you seriously think I'd work at one of those places, Hikigaya?" Kawasaki asked me with an intimidating tone.

"I had to consider every place!" I exclaimed (cried). "Besides, if you needed the money badly, and this was your only choice, would you have said no?"

That stopped Kawasaki. "...Maybe you're right."

"What's so special about maid cafes, anyways?" Miura asked. "Like, I know guys like that kinda thing, but I don't see the appeal."

"I'm sure Hikitani-kun will show us!" Tobe exclaimed. "I've never been to one!"

"Neither have I," Hayama added with a smile. "I wonder what it's like."

"I'm not too familiar with these things," Totsuka commented. "What's a maid cafe like?"

"I'm not too familiar with them either," Hachiman replied. "So I called in someone who is."

Komachi looked confused. "There's an expert you know?"

"Wa-hem!"

Zaimokuza walks up to the group, surrounded by a red and orange aura, as if he was radiating power. "It appears my time has finally come!"

"Oh," Komachi deadpanned.

Zaimokuza suddenly stood up. "Heh heh heh. Once again, the show properly displays my hidden power! Excellent!"

"Ew," Yuigahama mutters while Hachiman looks disturbed.

"What she said," Isshiki muttered.

"Can we get him off the screen?" Tsurumi asked. "He's annoying."

"Yeah, I agree with her," Miura added, closing her eyes and crossing her arms. "Like, no offense Zaimokuza-kun, but you're really ruining the vibe."

"G-Gah!" Zaimokuza trembled. "T-To go as far as to insult my past self!"

"H-Hey, that's not very nice to say…" Totsuka timidly protested.

"Not like we can do anything about it anyways," Kawasaki commented, crossing her arms. "Regardless of my opinion, we're stuck watching this."

"Obviously, like, I know that," Miura replied. "I just wanted to voice my opinion."

A depressive aura surrounded Zaimokuza. He was ruthlessly attacked from all sides, so he had no chance of surviving. Poor guy.

Zaimokuza dramatically points at Hachiman. " You  asked  me  to come here! Why are you looking at me like that?!"

"The thought that dealing with you might be more trouble than it's worth crossed my mind," Hachiman deadpanned.

"Even Hachiman hates me…" Zaimokuza muttered depressively.

"Oi, oi. I don't hate you," I tried to cheer him up. "It's just, er, sometimes you're hard to deal with." Key word is tried.

"I'm not sure that's very helpful, Hikki," Yuigahama commented. Shut up! I'm not good at this! "Um, Zaimokuza-kun? I'm sure they're all exaggerating their feelings towards you."

"Not to mention, RumiRumi only said you were annoying on the screen," I added. Though, she definitely finds you annoying in real life. But I've gotta take what I can.

"Heh…" Zaimokuza chuckled. "Thanks for the power boost, Lord Hachiman and his grunts." He suddenly stood up, arms on his hips. "Yoshiteru is back, and better than ever!"

That's all it took to cheer you up? I swear I could feel the others rolling their eyes! It's okay, I won't do that to you!

"I'm not a grunt though…" Yuigahama trailed off.

"Then stay silent and come with me!" Zaimokuza declared. "The maids shall pamper us tonight!"

Hachiman whirled around to face Zaimokuza completely with wide eyes and a mild blush. "Pamper…"

"Pamper?" Tsurumi asked.

"Essentially, it's when you give someone lots of attention," Hiratsuka explained. "It can come in many forms, though I admittedly don't know what a maid version consists of."

"Oh. Hm." Tsurumi seemed to be in deep thought.

"Senpai wants to be pampered?" Isshiki asked. "Not what I expected…"

Komachi giggled. "Look at you, Onii-chan!"

"I was pulled into temptation for just a moment!" I protested.

"But what if Yuki-nee wanted to pamper you?" Komachi retorted.

I turned to my seatmate. "Would you?"

Yukinoshita blinked, before her face turned red. "W-What do you mean? I do not know what… p-pampering consists of."

I nodded. I turned back to Komachi. "She didn't say yes. Therefore, irrelevant question."

"Stupid Onii-chan!" she exclaimed, punching my shoulder playfully. "I'm just trying to help you! C'mon Yuki-nee!"

"Hachiman," Yukinoshita said, sounding more determined. "I did not say no either."

"Eh?" I turned to her with surprise. Where did your embarrassment go?!

"It would be prudent of me to listen to my partner's wants, would it not?"

You're not wrong, but the way you said that is really embarrassing! "I-I mean, sure. But didn't you just say you had no clue what pampering 'consisted of?'"

"I shall simply give you attention," Yukinoshita said while staring at me. "Lots of it."

…That's hot. Wait, not right now! "W-Well, um, uh, yeah." That's not a response! "I-I mean, I guess most relationships would naturally lead to pampering anyways. So, um, sure." If there wasn't any pampering, why would anyone want to stay in a relationship? Actually, stupid question, there's plenty of reasons why. Though, none of them are wholesome…

"Do they?"

I shrugged. "To be honest, I have no idea.."

"Hmm…" Yukinoshita looked up in thought, before shaking her head. "Regardless, my answer remains unchanged."

She's definitely acting more forward than before… using first names, now this? Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

"Hikigaya," Hiratsuka suddenly spoke up, sounding mildly depressed. "While I'm happy for you two, please stop flirting right in front of me!"

"Ah. Sorry sensei," I replied. Someone please marry her already!

Yuigahama tugs on Hachiman's shirt with a pout. "What?" he asked.

"I don't like this place. Besides, this place is for guys!" Yuigahama turns around. "What are we supposed to do?"

Yukinoshita simply points at another sign, saying they welcome girls too. "It looks like they serve girls too."

"It would be pretty pointless to ban them," Ebina pointed out.

Miura scoffed. "But, like, what girl would want to go to one?"

"Everyone has different interests," Hayama replied. "Maybe someone is interested in them?"

"Yeah, what Hayato said!" Tobe exclaimed. "No point in excluding them like that!"

"...Sure," Miura said doubtfully.

The three guys take a seat at a table. "Welcome home, myaster, woof!" One of the maids exclaims.

"Woof?" Hiratsuka asked. "Not 'nyah?'"

Hey wait, why is Hiratsuka the one asking that?! Don't tell me you have experience with maid cafes!

"Maybe they wanted to have variety?" Komachi suggested. "At least, that's what Onii-chan would say!"

"Oi! Don't make assumptions like that!" I retorted. "Besides, I wouldn't know. Like I said, I hadn't been to a maid cafe before."

"Ah, but Hikigaya-sama is correct!" Zaimokuza declared. Wait, not Hachiman this time? "As there are plenty of maid cafes in the world, some cafes have alternative gimmicks!" Oh, he's referring to Komachi. Huh, is this the first time he's ever said her name?

"...For some reason, I don't feel proud of getting that right," Komachi deadpanned.

Totsuka looks around the restaurant in confusion, before Yuigahama walks up to the table in a maid outfit. "Th-Thank you for waiting, M-Master." ( A/N: I am too lazy to describe the maid outfits. So, if you wanna see what they look like, you'll have to see the episode yourself.)

Hachiman, who had his eyes closed, opened them only to immediately blush.

Yuigahama squirms in her outfit. "How do I look?"

"Wow, you really pull it off well, Yui!" Miura exclaimed. "You look great!"

Yuigahama looked surprised for a moment, before beaming. "Aw, thanks!"

Miura beamed back, before blinking. "...Wait, why are you wearing one in the first place? You didn't start working there, did you?"

"I was wondering the same thing," Orimoto commented.

"A-Ah! Um, we needed to get access to Kawasaki's work schedule!" Yuigahama explained. "So we kinda had to blend in!"

"In addition," Yukinoshita piped up, "The cafe was allowing all girls to 'try out their maid experience.' Thus, it was an excellent opportunity."

"...Couldn't you have just asked the manager?" Shiromeguri asked.

"Excellent question!" Zaimokuza stood up. "Many maid cafes hide the identities of their workers! Thus, questions such as ours would have gone unanswered!"

"Ooh. That makes sense!"

"Wow, Yuigahama-san!" Totsuka chimed up. "You look really cute! Doesn't she, Hachiman?"

"Y-Yeah," Hachiman snaps himself out of his daze with a cough.

"R-Really? Thanks!" Yuigahama replied, sheepishly smiling.

Hrm… Yui-san does look good in that, Isshiki thought to herself. Maybe I should wear that in front of senpai? Just to get him flustered, of course!

"You need to say more than that!" Komachi exclaimed, looking at me disappointedly. "If Yuki-nee didn't take you, you'd have no hope!"

I raised an eyebrow. "I dunno, Yuigah-, er, Y-Yui sounded happy enough. Besides, it's not like I'm dating her." Even though I'm 90% sure she'd love to. Hmm, maybe I shouldn't have said that part outloud. "Er, no offense Yui."

Yuigahama giggled, though there was a hint of sadness. "No worries, Hikki! Just hearing you agree was good enough!"

"You're not supposed to say that, Yui!" Komachi cried out. "Boo, how am I supposed to tease Onii-chan like this?"

"I'm docking points for that comment," I said.

Komachi stuck her tongue out at me. Ha, sucks to be you!

"You're just cosplaying as a maid!" Zaimokuza pipes up. "You have yet to put your soul into it! Personally, I would prefer…" He trails off as he stares at Totsuka.

"Wh-What?"

"We're about to see something creepy, aren't we?" Miura said.

Suddenly, an image of Totsuka in a maid outfit is shown. "Master!" Imaginary Totsuka calls out.

Zaimokuza smirks and laughs creepily, while Hachiman sweatdrops.

"Nailed it," Miura said with a disgusted look.

Totsuka looked uncomfortable at the image shown on screen. "Um-"

"Saika, I must extend my apologies to you," Zaimokuza abruptly faced him, head bowed down. "Like Hachiman, I fell into temptation. I swear upon my soul, that shall not happen again!"

Totsuka blinked. Then he smiled. "A-After seeing Hachiman's thoughts, it's not nearly as s-surprising. So, um, it's not a big deal."

Zaimokuza lifted his head. "Excellent! I shall not make that mistake again!"

Wow, that went a lot smoother than when everyone found out about my thoughts.

"Still gross," Tsurumi commented.

"Yup," Miura added.

Isshiki sighed. "No offense, but yeah."

Never mind, Zaimokuza's reputation is still in the negatives. Also, RumiRumi actually hates Zaimokuza, doesn't she? I think she's being biased by what the screen shows. Sure, he says plenty of stupid and gross things, but I can trust him to have my back. We did rig an election together, after all.

…Oh boy, that's going to be a scene. I'm not excited to see that.

"Whoa!" Yuigahama exclaims suddenly, making the others look at her. "Yukinon! Oh my god! You look amazing!"

Yukinoshita is shown wearing a different maid outfit than Yuigahama.

"Yeah, you look great!" Totsuka exclaimed.

"Great job, Yuki-nee!" Komachi gave a thumbs up.

…Erm. Uh. Ummmm. Wow. Impressive. My goodness. Wow.

Ok, relax brain. You've seen this before. Just because you think your partner looks great in a maid outfit is not an excuse to short-circuit! Or is it? Meh, I'll call Yukino the cutest girl ever (but only in my head) and move on.

On a more serious note, and I noticed this a while ago, but some things got cut out of the conversation. I swear I mentioned something about Rottenmeier here.

Wait a minute, did the anime cut content? Even the show of my life is a poor adaptation! Show me who made this and I'll make them pay!

Just kidding. The average otaku wouldn't understand half of the words I say anyways. As long as the important plot points don't get cut out, it'll be- did I seriously refer to events in my life as "plot points?" The side of me that reads light novels is taking over…

"Ahem," Yukinoshita interrupted my thoughts. I glanced at her, only to be surprised to see her looking at me expectantly.

"...What?"

"...Never mind," she muttered with a faint blush. What was that about?

Wait, she wanted me to compliment her, didn't she? "E-Er, you looked great in that outfit," I managed to get out. "Seriously," I made sure to add for emphasis.

The blush further bloomed all over her face. "Th-Thanks," was all she said. Dammit, quit being so cute!

"This flirting's getting a bit excessive…" Isshiki muttered out.

"Get a room!" Tobe randomly exclaimed. Oi, your opinion is irrelevant!

Yukinoshita bows very lightly. "Thank you. More importantly, it seems Kawasaki-san does not work here."

"Obviously," Kawasaki said with a roll of her eyes.

"How do you know that?" Hachiman asked.

"Her name wasn't on the shift schedule," Yukinoshita explained. "Considering that she received a call at home, I doubt that she works under an alias."

"Curious," Zaimokuza noted.

"What's curious?" Hachiman asked.

"Oh no," Tsurumi spoke, sounding annoyed.

Zaimokuza begins rambling as an image of Kawasaki is shown. "A tsun-tsun girl who holds a job in secret." Suddenly, she's shown wearing a maid outfit and making a cat motion. "'Meow Meow! Welcome home, master! Wait, what are you doing here?' Such is how fate's hand should move!"

"Hey now, you're not making any sense," Hachiman says.

Ehh, now that I've got a visual, I sorta see what he was going for. Not really my type though. No offense, Kawasaki.

Kawasaki rubbed her nose in frustration. "I shouldn't be surprised at this point. Zaimokuza, don't get any delusions about me doing… that."

Zaimokuza whirled around. "What?! But-" she glared at him. "-But I get it! I shall stop myself from having such thoughts from now on!"

"Good," Kawasaki said, leaning back in her chair.

"I'm surprised you didn't make a bigger deal out of that," Ebina commented. Then she whispered, "Not that I mind. The others seem a little harsh on him."

"Eh, it's Zaimokuza," Kawasaki said, shrugging. "It's mostly just a matter of expecting it. Besides, it's not like he's being annoying on purpose. I hope."

"Haha, I get it," Ebina giggled. She looked down at the second row. "I'm not sure how much longer Tsurumi-san can handle him though."

Indeed, Tsurumi was glaring daggers at Zaimokuza. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice.

"I'm sure Hiratsuka-sensei or Hikitani-kun will deal with it though!" Ebina said.

Don't think I didn't hear your words Ebina! Though, you're not wrong. I might have to talk to RumiRumi later. Maybe after the episode ends.

"Well, I'm just happy you guys aren't mad!" Shiromeguri leaned in with a cheerful smile. "To be honest, I haven't really interacted with Zaimokuza much, but he seems like he has good intentions!"

Kawasaki nodded. "That's what I'm saying."

Shiromeguri leaned back in her chair, thinking about the scene on the screen. Do guys really think about girls in that much detail though?

"We're going to the second one," Yukinoshita decides.

"The top floor of the Royal Okra Hotel. The Angel Ladder Cafe, a.k.a The Stairway to Heaven," Hachiman explained internally.

Hayama gained a surprised look. "Kawasaki-san, is that the location you worked at?"

"Huh?" Kawasaki didn't expect Hayama of all people to bring it up first. "Err, yeah. You know it?"

He nodded, smiling. "I had some family stay there. It's very nice."

Kawasaki rolled her eyes. "Calling it 'very nice' is underselling it."

"And you got a job there? How impressive!" Shiromeguri clapped her hands together, making Kawasaki jump in surprise. "Were you a waitress?"

"Bartender."

"Huh?" She looked confused. "They let you do that?"

Kawasaki suddenly looked sheepish. "Umm. Yeah."

Shiromeguri's eyebrows furrowed. But she didn't have a chance to ask further, as the screen continued playing.

The scene switches to show Hachiman walking out of the train station at nighttime. He was dressed in formal clothing with his hair pulled back.

"Huh, not a bad look, Hikigaya," Hiratsuka observed. "Who woulda thought?"

"Courtesy of yours truly!" Komachi exclaimed smugly. Right, she helped me dress up for this. "Though, Onii-chan hasn't asked me recently…"

I raised an eyebrow. "Why would I need to? I can't just let my sister do all of the work for me."

"Right, Onii-chan's all grown up…" Komachi muttered.

Please don't sound so sad saying that!

Yukinoshita looked at the screen, her thoughts churning. Hmm. Hachiman's certainly appealing. But… I prefer his other outfits more.

Right in front of him was a large building. Hachiman looked nervous as he walked inside. He walked past foreigners and other rich-looking people, before he stopped in front of the elevators. Unlike most elevators, they were flashing with lights.

"It's bigger than my own living room!" Hachiman thought as he looked inside one of the elevators.

"Dude, that elevator's huge!" Tobe shouted with wonder in his eyes. "This place is crazy!"

"Haha! You can say that again!" Orimoto replied. "It's so weird seeing elevators like that!"

"Have you been in one of those?" Miura asked Hayama.

He smiled. "Not those specific ones. But I've been in some similar ones, yes."

"You've gotta, like, show me one someday!" Miura exclaimed.

Hayama chuckled. "Maybe if I get the chance."

In other words, hell no, Haruno thought as she idly listened to the two below. How predictable.

Hachiman leaned against the wall opposite of the elevators and waited. He glanced down at his watch from time to time.

"S-Sorry to keep you waiting…"

Hachiman glanced upwards and met the eyes of Yuigahama and Yukinoshita, who wore a red and black dress respectively. The former had her hair in a bun, while the latter had her in a ponytail.

G-Gah, I forgot how great they both looked in that! Especially Yukino. Er, not that Yuiga- Yui looks bad. Far from it! But, er, one of them is my partner.

Wait, I sounded really weird there. It's not my fault that they look so good! Ok, relax brain, you don't need to go overboard.

Hachiman looks at the two with eyes widened and a mild blush.

"Someone's embarrassed, eh?" Hiratsuka smirked.

"...Not my fault they look great in those," I grumbled.

My words made both girls blush, though they tried to hide it. "Th-Thanks Hikki!" Yuigahama stuttered out.

Yukinoshita remained silent, her face red. I glanced at her in the corner of my eye, and couldn't help but blush too.

Still, he soldiers on. "Where are the other two?"

"They don't have anything matching the dress code," Yukinoshita explains.

"I see."

"Sorry we couldn't h-help out…" Totsuka said with some disappointment.

"No worries," I replied, my blush disappearing. "I don't think you would have helped anyways." I realized that sounded harsh. "N-Not your fault, just… you'll see."

"Oh…" Totsuka trailed off.

"I appreciate the lack of spoilers!" Zaimokuza said with a nod. Quit treating this like a real show…

"More importantly, check out these dresses!" Yuigahama exclaims. "Yukinon's got a ton at her place! And she lives by herself!" She faces Yukinoshita. "Like, seriously, what are you, Yukinon?"

An ice queen, obviously.

"Not what you are thinking," Yukinoshita replies. "I simply have them because I have the opportunity to wear them sometimes."

"Normal people never get those opportunities," Hachiman points out. "And anyway, where do they sell these things? Shimamura?"

"Shimamura? That's the first time I've heard of that brand…" Yukinoshita replied blankly.

"Seriously?!" Isshiki exclaimed with surprise. "You're such a rich girl!"

Yukinoshita was still blushing from before, though it had faded slightly. "Yui has shown me what I have missed out on," was her response.

"Oh, thank god," Isshiki said with a laugh.

"This chick wouldn't even be able to tell the difference between Shimamura and Uniqlo," Hachiman thought.

"Such crude language!" Haruno teased.

"Well then, shall we go?" Yukinoshita says, as she pressed the elevator button. The lights turned on with a ding and the door opened noiselessly. The trio entered the elevator without issue.

On the top floor, the elevator doors opened. Hachiman and Yuigahama's eyes widened in surprise, while Yukinoshita closed her eyes and sighed.

On a stage lit up with spotlights, a white-skinned lady with blonde hair was playing a jazz number on the piano. In front of the trio was a lounge bar, obscured in darkness due to the dim candle lighting. A few other people were sitting in chairs littered around the place.

"Fancy feels like an understatement…" Komachi muttered. "How did someone like Onii-chan get into a place like this?"

"Oi, you lost some points with that one," I said. "I'm a high-quality man. It's no surprise that I'd be let in anywhere."

"I feel like you're overestimating yourself there, senpai," Isshiki chimed in with a cheeky smile.

I rolled my eyes. "As long as you look like you belong, no one's gonna stop you." As evidenced by this.

"Hey… Hey now, is this place for real?" Hachiman mumbled to himself, his head moving back and forth.

"Stop looking shifty," Yukinoshita scolded him. "Stand up straight and push your chest out. Pull your chin in."

Hachiman seemed to struggle with the task as they walked up to the waiter. He guided the trio to the bar counter in front of a glass window. They take a seat, which is when Hachiman notices a girl in a suit standing near them on the other side.

"Kawasaki?" He calls out.

"Wow, you blend in well!" Ebina complimented her friend.

"Thanks…" Kawasaki didn't know how to feel about that.

"So you really did bartend!" Shiromeguri exclaimed. "Was it difficult?"

Kawasaki shrugged. "Not really. Though, with my hours, I'd get hit on fairly often." She sighed,
"That was annoying."

"That makes sense. They'd get drunk, right?"

"Yeah. Thankfully, they never went far. Also, social etiquette and all that."

Haruno, who had very little interest in this section, narrowed her eyes for a moment. "You worked at night?"

Kawasaki suddenly looked sheepish. "Er, yeah…"

She smiled, though it wasn't a kind one. "Isn't it illegal to work that late?"

Shiromeguri widened her eyes. "Wait, did you work past midnight, Kawasaki?"

Kawasaki rubbed her head. "...Yeah. I lied about my age."

Shiromeguri gasped. "You went that far?! But why?"

Haruno giggled. "Don't worry. I'm sure we'll find out why, Meguri."

"...What she said," Kawasaki mumbled.

Kawasaki looks at him with some mild confusion. "Pardon me, may I ask your name?"

"I'm impressed. Not even Hikigaya-kun's own classmates remember his face," Yukinoshita says admiringly as she makes eye contact with Kawasaki.

"Erm, sorry Hikigaya," Kawasaki called out.

"It's fine," I replied. I always forget your name anyways. Seriously, why did I keep forgetting Kawasaki?

"Hikio does look pretty forgettable," Miura observed. "I think he prefers it that way though…"

"Haha, yeah," Orimoto (fake) laughed. I don't think I can forget him though. Especially not now, with this weird theater business.

"I definitely wouldn't want to get forgotten!" Tobe exclaimed. "Hikitani-kun's stronger than me in that department!"

Oh, I can tell. When you randomly shout that much, it's hard to forget you, Tobe. Regrettably.

Kawasaki's tone became more antagonistic. "Yukinoshita."

Ebina raised an eyebrow. "Where'd that come from?"

"...It's… complicated," Kawasaki said. "I don't really wanna talk about it."

"Oooh?" Haruno suddenly spoke up. "You had a problem with Yukino-chan?"

Something in her voice terrified Kawasaki. "N-No! It… wasn't anything personal. Besides, I'm chill with her now."

"That's a relief to hear!" Haruno smiled, clapping her hands. "As long as it's in the past!"

…Yukinoshita-san is scary. How did Hikigaya deal with her?

"Hi there!" Yuigahama piped up.

"Yuigahama," Kawasaki says more neutrally. "So he's from Sobu High too?" she asks, gesturing to Hachiman.

Yuigahama glanced at him. "Uh, yeah. He's Hikki from our class. Hikigaya Hachiman."

"Wow, she really didn't know you at all," Isshiki said with wonder. "Especially after she saw you looking at her panties!"

Did you really have to mention that? "She probably thought I was just one of those ordinary creepy guys," I hypothesized. Though, wouldn't you still remember the person who looked at your underwear? Unless it's common for her and she didn't care? Mmm, I don't like where that's going.

"Well, at first glance, you are pretty forgettable," Isshiki continued. "No offense, teehee~!"

"Iroha-chan is right. You need to stand out more!" Komachi joined in.

"Eh, no need to," I shrugged. Just means more people I have to deal with. "Besides, just being near Yukino will bring enough attention already."

Yukinoshita chuckled. "I would advise to take it easy on Hachiman, Komachi-san."

"...Y'know what, that's a fair point," Komachi conceded.

Hachiman nodded his head in confirmation. Kawasaki sighed and smiled resignedly. "I see. So you caught me out." A few seconds pass. "So what are you doing here? I highly doubt that you'd go on a date with that thing."

"Of course not," Yukinoshita replies. "Even considering making such a joke after seeing this thing is in terrible taste."

I slowly turned my head to my seatmate with a shit-eating grin. "You were saying?"

Yukinoshita sighed. "Past me was simply spewing words."

Well, those were pretty terrible words to spew. Seriously, calling people "things" is pretty cruel… Good thing I don't care what people call me. Well, if Yukino called me a "thing" now, I'd admittedly be a little hurt. This may be a controversial opinion (lol not really), but I don't think you should call your romantic partner that. Unless they're into that. Urgh… that would disturb me.

"Still," Yukinoshita continued, his face slightly red, "I wonder what she would say with the way things are now."

Pfft. "She'd probably brutally insult me, followed by asking if you had gone brain-dead," I said out loud.

"Hmph," Yukinoshita smiled. "Not wrong."

A few rows behind, Miura furrowed her eyebrows. I'm surprised Hikio would date someone who calls him that. Well, he could be a masochist. But I don't think I've heard her say anything like that in this theater, so she probably stopped.

"Um… could you two kindly stop randomly throwing insults at me while you have your little fight?" Hachiman cut in, before moving on to the reason they came here. "Your brother was worried about how you're coming home late."

At that, Kawasaki smiled with a faint look of ridicule on her face, except it was hindered by her annoyance. "You came all the way here just to say that? Good job. You know, do you seriously think I'd stop just because some guy I don't know or care about said that to me?"

"Wow, I was pissed," Kawasaki muttered. To be fair, I would be too if I were in your shoes.

"Kawasaki-san's scary!" Tobe said with a slight tremble. "Er, uh, sorry for saying that."

"Don't worry, I get it," Kawasaki said to him.

"Jeez, she's mad," Orimoto said. "Hikigaya can piss people off, huh?"

"Sometimes, he's infuriating," Miura replied. "That's what makes Hikio Hikio though."

Orimoto laughed. "Hilarious!"

"Amazing. Even Hikki's classmates don't know or care about him…" Yuigahama muttered with admiration.

Wasn't anything I hadn't seen before. Ha. Wait, that's pretty sad, isn't it?

Kawasaki suddenly spoke up again. "Ooooh, so the reason I was thinking things had gotten a little more irritating lately was because of you guys. Taishi said something to you? I don't know how he tried to spin it, but I'll have a word with him, so don't worry." She paused. "You see, Taishi's got nothing to do with this."

"Well, er, not really…" Totsuka pointed out.

"Don't worry, I'm well aware," Kawasaki replied, eyes closed. Didn't realize how my absence felt to him. Thanks Hikigaya, I guess. Oh, and thanks to your sister too.

"There is a reason for you to stop." Yukinoshita shifted her gaze from Kawasaki to the wristwatch on her left hand, checking the time. "10:40… if you were Cinderella, you'd have one hour left before your magic runs out."

"If my magic were to run out, only a happy ending awaits me, don't you think?"

"I wonder about that, My Little Mermaid. I believe a bad end lies ahead of you."

Tsurumi furrowed her eyebrows. "Why did you guys mention those movies?"

"Basic explanation, but essentially Yukino's saying that Kawasaki's lying about her age," I explained. Don't ask me why she decided to be so roundabout. "Er, have you seen the movies she mentioned?"

"Yeah. I actually get what she means now," Tsurumi replied with a nod. Huh? How did a girl at her age get the references so quickly? Or are you just saying that to shut me up?

Confused, Yuigahama leans back in her seat. "Hey, what are they talking about?" she asks Hachiman.

"We can't work nights at our age," Hachiman explained. "Basically, Yukinoshita's trying to say that Kawasaki is lying about her age."

"Oh. Why couldn't she just say so?" Yuigahama muttered.

"That's just how she is!" Yuigahama said cheerfully. Oi, your past self can't hear you. Also, while you're right, it's not really an excuse for her to say that…

"You really needed money that bad?" Ebina asked, looking concerned.

Kawasaki looked uncertain. "Well… I did. Don't worry, it wasn't a huge deal."

"Saying that while seeing the way your past self acted isn't really convincing," Ebina pointed out. "What was it for?"

"...To be honest, I don't really wanna explain," Kawasaki sighed. "The screen's probably gonna show anyways."

…Well, now I just feel guilty. Ebina patted her friend's shoulder without saying a word.

"Do you plan on quitting?" Yukinoshita asked.

"No," Kawasaki replied curtly.

Yuigahama nervously opened her mouth. "...Hey, Kawasaki-san, I work too when I need some money, but I don't lie about my age to work."

"Doesn't matter. I just need money," Kawasaki immediately replies.

"You're acting pretty bitchy…" Miura muttered.

"Well, excuse me for doing something every adult does," Kawasaki snarked back.

Miura gripped her seat. "You-"

"Hey now, there's no reason to argue," Hayama interrupted her before she could get anything out. "Kawasaki-san had her reasons, I'm sure."

Once again, Miura wanted to retort. She opened her mouth… and nothing came out. She closed it, and crossed her arms. She pisses me off, but Hayato's right. Ugh.

Hachiman went next. "Well, I can see that, but…"

Kawasaki scoffed. "Yeah, like someone who says 'When you work, you lose' could."

"You heard that?" Hachiman said, turning away with a sweatdrop.

It's the greatest catchphrase of all time! Don't go insulting it! Even if I can't endorse it anymore…

"Heh, she got you there, Onii-chan," Komachi teased me.

"Shaddup."

"Life ain't that easy," Kawasaki replied. "I'm not working because I want pocket money. Don't lump me in with those morons. You guys may act like you're all that, but it's not like you could get me that kind of money. You think you can get something for me that even my parents couldn't get me?"

"Whoa…" Tobe muttered out.

"What did Kawasaki-san need that was so serious?" Shiromeguri asked out loud. "Um, not that I expect you to answer right now!"

"...Got it," Kawasaki replied. God, is this how Hikigaya feels?

Ebina glanced at Kawasaki in the corner of her eye. Now I really want to know what that's about! Ah, but she's not gonna tell me.

Miura's expression remained unchanged on the outside, but her thoughts were churning. Well, I guess she's being bitchy for a reason.

Yuigahama looked defeated. "Well…"

"That's quite enough," Yukinoshita said in a frigid tone. "If you mouth off any more-"

"Hey," Kawasaki interrupted her. "Your dad's on the prefectural assembly, right? Someone born with a silver spoon in her mouth could never understand it."

For a moment, Yukinoshita's eyes widened. Then, there was a sharp clatter as the glass in front of Yukinoshita fell down.

"Hey…" Haruno muttered with a hint of intimidation. "I'd watch what you're saying, Kawasaki-san."

Kawasaki jumped at her words. The hell?! Yukinoshita's sister?! "E-Er, don't worry about it," she replied without looking at her. Then she raised her voice. "U-Uh, for what it's worth, sorry for that comment, Yukinoshita."

Yukinoshita blinked with some surprise. She turned around with a neutral face. "Ah. Apology accepted. I do not hold it against you."

Haruno smiled. "Lovely! I'm happy to see you two get along!"

Yukinoshita-san really is scary! Kawasaki screamed in her head. Outwardly, she replied, "Yeah. It's great. Really great."

She's terrified of Haruno, isn't she? Not surprised, she's a scary woman.

Yuigahama looked startled, before angrily standing up. "Hey! Yukinon's family is none of your business!"

Kawasaki glanced at her, before looking away. "Then my family's none of your business either."

To be fair, we never actually mentioned your family. That was aaaallllll you.

"This isn't going anywhere," Hiratsuka observed with a sigh. "Good grief."

"Kawasaki-san was super stubborn, huh?" Komachi commented.

"Maybe, but Yukinon…" Yuigahama trailed off as she sat back down.

"I simply spilled my glass," Yukinoshita finally spoke up, putting a hand on Yuigahama's back. "It doesn't matter. No need to raise your voice."

The group was silent for a moment, before Hachiman stood up suddenly. "Let's get out of here."

"You guys gave up?" Isshiki asked.

"Yes, but also no," I replied. Yukinoshita and Yuigahama nodded along with me.

"That's really helpful," Isshiki rolled her eyes.

"Hachiman does not go down that easily!" Zaimokuza declared, shifting his glasses. "He is about to blow you away with his excellent plans!"

Exaggeration much?

Yukinoshita and Yuigahama are shown leaving the bar, with some money left on the counter. Hachiman, however, remained standing by the bar.

"Kawasaki, I need to talk to you about Taishi. Could you spare me some time tomorrow morning? 5:30, in the McDonalds across the street."

"Heh, it's already being put into motion!" Zaimokuza said with a smirk.

"That's way too early!" Tsurumi unexpectedly exclaimed.

"She's right," I immediately joined in. Wait, wasn't I the one who said 5:30?

"You were the one to tell Kawasaki-san to see you so early!" Komachi refuted. "Stupid Onii-chan!"

"It was a worthy sacrifice," I immediately switched gears. "Alas, my poor sleep never recovered from that attack."

"...Now you're starting to sound like… him," Tsurumi added with a scrunched up face.

Him? You mean Zaimokuza? First of all, I'm offended! Second of all, why did you sound like you were talking about some ancient villain? Zaimokuza may talk like one, but I promise you he wouldn't hurt a fly.

"What?"

"We'll talk about that tomorrow. Later." Hachiman started walking away.

"That's all you said to her?" Komachi asked me with some surprise. "With the way the previous exchange ended, I half expected you to threaten her…"

"Oi. Have some faith in your brother," I retorted.

"To be frank, I had suspected the same," Yukinoshita piled on. Ugh, you too?

"Wouldn't have surprised me at all," Isshiki added.

"Hold it," Kawasaki stopped him. "You haven't paid the full bill."

Hachiman sweatdropped.  She didn't pay for my drink?  He wordlessly handed her a thousand-yen bill, in which he got sixty yen in exchange.  …This is daylight robbery…

Sure, it was a bar for rich people, but that price was ridiculous!

"You didn't pay for Hikki's drink?" Yuigahama questioned with surprise.

"I did not," Yukinoshita replied.

"...But you paid for mine?"

"Indeed."

Yuigahama looked at me, then sighed. "Somehow, I'm not surprised."

I still haven't forgotten that, Yukino! I'll get you back someday, I swear.

Orimoto furrowed her eyebrows. "She must have hated Hikigaya back then, huh?"

"She must have!" Tobe replied. "Weird how she only paid for Yui's drink! I'd have paid for everyone's drinks if I was there!"

"You act like you've got the money to do that," Miura sniped back.

"...Right," Tobe mumbled.

The next morning, Hachiman, Komachi, Taishi, Yukinoshita, and Yuigahama are shown sitting at a table inside McDonalds.

The automated doors open, and Kawasaki walks in. She moves towards the table, until she stops with surprise on her face. "Taishi? What're you doing up at this hour?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Taishi replied. "What were you doing all night, Nee-chan?"

"That's none of your business."

"What a surprising reply," Miura muttered to herself, quiet enough that Kawasaki did not overhear.

Before anyone else can reply, Hachiman speaks up. "Kawasaki, allow me to guess why you needed cash and started working." He turns to Taishi. "Taishi, have you been doing anything different since you started your third year of middle school?"

Taishi furrowed his eyebrows for a moment. "Er, uh… wasn't that around when I started attending cram school?"

"She was trying to get money for her brother's tuition?" Isshiki guessed. "That makes sense."

"Hehe, not quite!" Komachi replied with a smirk and a wagging finger. "You have much to learn, Iroha-chan!"

"But I'm your senpai…"

"I see! So she's working for her brother's tuition?" Yuigahama asked.

"Copycat!" Isshiki jokingly called out.

"No," Hachiman shot her down. "He started at the prep school in April. That means any possible tuition problems were resolved prior to that."

"I see," Yukinoshita spoke up. "Taishi-kun isn't the only one who needs tuition."

"Our school is a college prep school," Hachiman explains to Taishi. "Most students would start thinking about college starting from their second-year. They'd start thinking about going to summer school."

Miura raised an eyebrow. "She was bitchy because of that?"

Kawasaki glared at her. "Are you saying my reason was stupid? Never mind that your family probably never had money issues!"

"Oh, listen here you-" Miura cut herself off, holding her anger. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "No. Like, why would you be bitchy for that reason? No one would, like, care that you're working for that."

Kawasaki was slightly taken aback, but she maintained her glare. "You're wrong about one thing. Certain people would care."

Miura furrowed her eyebrows with confusion.

Taishi gasped, then turned to Kawsaki. "Nee-chan!"

"Oh, you meant your brother!" Tobe exclaimed suddenly with a snap of his fingers "That makes sense!"

Well, there's also her parents and other siblings, but I'm getting too specific. The bug it is!

"...What does that have to do with being bitchy to Hikio and the others?" Miura asked.

"Taishi had clearly talked with them. I didn't want him to know," Kawasaki said simply.

Kawasaki sighed. "I said you didn't need to know. I plan on going to college. I don't want to put any unnecessary burden on our parents or you because of it."

"Wouldn't not saying a word make them more concerned than if you explained the situation?" Shiromeguri pointed out. "What if they thought you were doing something… really bad?

Kawasaki blushed. "W-Well… that's not the case here."

"Sure, but that, like, doesn't stop your family from thinking otherwise," Miura pointed out.

"...I have to agree with Miura-san here," Shiromeguri said with a stern expression.

Kawasaki wasn't expecting the two-pronged attack. "...Well, uh… you might be right," she surrendered. "I wasn't thinking rationally back then. It was an emotional decision."

Shiromeguri blinked, then smiled. "As long as you understand that!"

There's the senpai that appears every once in a while. For the record, I might have done the same thing as Kawasaki. Oh dear, I'd be the one getting scolded. I'm glad I dodged that bullet!

…I would have preferred being scolded than watching this.

She gave up? Like that? Miura raised an eyebrow.

"Though, to you Miura-san," Kawasaki continued, "You're an only child, right? I doubt you'd understand how I felt.

Miura felt a surge of anger and was prepared to retort. Then she stopped herself. What's the point of arguing about this anymore? Besides, she might be right. Obviously, my parents would be concerned, but I've got no one younger than me.

"Hey, that wasn't necessary," Ebina said with a frown.

"She was arguing with me," Kawasaki protested. "And this is simply a topic we'll never agree on."

"Yup," Miura agreed, much to Kawasaki's surprise. "So, like, let's not waste any more energy on this. I'd like to see how Hikio dealt with it."

"...Right," Kawasaki said.

Why do you keep using only my name Miura? There's other people there too! Plus, it was mostly Komachi who got through to her after all. Though, she wouldn't know that.

"Um… mind if I have a word?" Komachi piped up, hand raised. "Well, you see, our parents both work too. So, like, when I was little, I'd go home and no one'd be there. Whenever I announced I was back, no one ever greeted me."

Tsurumi glanced at Komachi. …Huh. I guess I had better luck than her.

"I hated coming home to an empty house, so I ran away from home once. But it wasn't my parents who came for me. It was my brother. Since that day, he started coming home before me," Komachi explained. "So I'm really grateful for my brother."

"And I still am!" Komachi exclaimed while excitedly grabbing my arm.

"Yeah yeah," I rolled my eyes. I might not be a good person, but I'm the best brother anyone can ask for! Go ahead, find someone better than me! I bet you can't!

"Alas, Hachiman truly is a man of honor," Zaimokuza said, nodding his head and crossing his arms. "He is an example of greatness!"

"Mhm!" Yuigahama enthusiastically nodded. "Though, I still can't believe you ran away from home, Komachi!"

"Hehe!" Komachi giggled. What are you giggling for?

Miura watched the scene with a raised eyebrow. Their parents weren't around? No wonder those two, like, seem so attached to each other.

Hayama seemed thoughtful. So that's what you used to do? Take care of your sister?

"The reason Hikigaya-kun came home early was because he never had any friends from that time, I believe?" Yukinoshita piped up.

"Hey, how come you know that? What, are you Yukipedia or something?" Hachiman replied.

"Senpai's too obvious!" Isshiki exclaimed with a laugh.

Orimoto sat silently. Hikigaya had no friends in middle school? Well, I guess he implied that already. That… just makes me feel shitty.

"Well, yeah, I'm well aware of that," Komachi admitted nonchalantly, "but I thought saying it like this would make my Komachi points go up."

So shameless! I should dock your points for that, even though I already did that back then!

"So what are you trying to say?" Kawasaki demanded.

Komachi looked down for a moment. "I know you don't want to be a burden on your family, Saki-san, but Taishi doesn't want to be a burden on you either." She looked at Kawasaki straight in the eyes. "As a fellow younger sibling, I'd appreciate it if you could think about it that way."

Everyone went silent for a few moments.

"...Well, that's kind of how it is," Taishi lamely finished.

Kawasaki sighed for a moment, before walking up to Taishi and rubbing his head gently. She held a small smile on her face.

"Hehe, Komachi-chan's good at putting thoughts to words!" Shiromeguri said with a giggle.