Chapter Text
robert <3
class traitor: MAL?????????
egg: owo?
class traitor: WAS THAT YOU I JUST SAW????
egg: no
class traitor: oh
class traitor: sorry
class traitor: HEY WAIT
class traitor: I SEE THE KOOLAID MAN ASPEN DREW ON THE BACK OF YOUR ELBOW EARLIER
egg: the what
egg: ASPEN
aspen <3: :)
local milf: wait dan did you get sidetracked or?
class traitor: no!! im at the party city picking up the balloons for your cousin like you asked
class traitor: and mal is here
certified monster fucker: why is mal buying balloons
class traitor: shes not
class traitor: she’s standing behind the counter with a uniform and badge
class traitor: she gave me a discount on the streamers
aspen <3: mal did you beat up a party city employee and steal their clothes
egg: no
egg: i work here
egg: im the manager
certified monster fucker: wh
certified monster fucker: but
certified monster fucker: h?????
thor understudy: you broke ross
certified monster fucker: YOU HAVE A FULL TIME JOB AS A GOVERNMENT AGENT
certified monster fucker:
WHY AND HOW DO YOU HAVE A JOB AT PARTY CITY
egg: hey man ive been managing this establishment for seven years
egg: just because i got a new job doesn't mean i was going to quit on my fellow party personnel
certified monster fucker: ????????????????????
certified monster fucker: is this where you go during all those bathroom breaks
egg: yeah
certified monster fucker: im gonna
certified monster fucker: fucking
certified monster fucker: fjregbqrjkebgfkjagvhjrebgvhqu
aspen <3: why are we exposing mal
aspen <3: ross you literally have a list of senators to seduce
aspen <3: mal’s well-run party city does not even compare to that
certified monster fucker: ive made progress on that list, ill have you know
certified monster fucker: significant progress ;)
certified monster fucker: and at least im not DAN
class traitor: bruh???
certified monster fucker: ive seen your fucking tramp stamp
local milf: his WHAT
certified monster fucker: he has his ex’s name tattooed on his back
local milf: …
local milf: wow
class traitor: WHAT THE HELL MAN
class traitor: I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE
class traitor: and my tramp stamp is better than ASPENS FUCKING SLEEP COOKING
egg: sleep COOKING???
aspen <3: i make pasta in my sleep
class traitor: no, you BURN pasta in your sleep
class traitor: ive showed up at your house to put out fires like a dozen times
aspen <3: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
aspen <3: and ill take my fucking burnt ass pasta over lee’s fucking LA CRIOXS
egg: :o
certified monster fucker: la croixs????? L e e
thor understudy: will not apologize for liking the bubble
thor understudy: and bridgette once got pulled over for speeding and she beatboxed until the cop was so impressed he let her go
class traitor: she can beatbox??????
thor understudy: she can not. but he appreciated the tenacity.
egg: i would say its time to expose jackson but we have nothing on that man
Supreme overlord jackson: in the name of team bonding, i will offer up a fact about myself
local milf: !!!!!!!
class traitor: oh god its happening
certified monster fucker: everyone get ready
Supreme overlord jackson: ive been to jail over fifteen times. they haven’t built a cell that can hold me yet, and i doubt they ever will.
egg:
aspen <3:
class traitor: ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ
mr harrington please stop sending memes challenge
moonmoon: spider-man hot
tungsten dioxide whats this: why would you start the day like this
president lincoln: why are you booing her??? Shes right
president lincoln: have you seen those ARMS????
murphy’s law: AMEN
nedleedle: you guys just like him for his arms?
The News(™):
UM NO??
The News(™):
boy have you seen those thighs???
avril lavigne: i’d let him choke me out with those
The Boys
strawbebby: fuck you you instigating little bitch
none pizza left beef: 🥰
mr harrington please stop sending memes challenge
nedleedle: idk. peters just not really a spider-man fan
tungsten dioxide whats this: ned leeds i am going to kill you
moonmoon: peter are you BLIND
moonmoon: he’s built as hell and he’s also so nice???? he saved our class like multiple times
The News(™): hey wait
The News(™): peter wasn’t actually there for any of those times
president lincoln: wait yeah
president lincoln: thats….really weird
The Boys
strawbebby: NED
none pizza left beef: f u c k
none pizza left beef: wait a sec
none pizza left beef: i got this
none pizza left beef: time to channel my inner percy jackson
strawbebby: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO
mr harrington please stop sending memes challenge
nedleedle: peter, didn’t you meet him???
nedleedle: at the internship
avril lavigne: GASP
avril lavigne: I TOTALLY FORGOT SPIDERMAN AND IRON MAN WERE BUDDIES
murphy’s law: PETER HAVE YOU MET HIM???????
tungsten dioxide whats this: uh
The News(™): THAT SILENCE MEANS YES
moonmonn: he’s met him and doesn’t like him? Cap.
president lincoln: why would peter lie???
president lincoln: oh my god
president lincoln: unless
The News(™): ABE I AM PICKING UP EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE PUTTING DOWN
The News(™): PETER REALLY LIKES SPIDERMAN
The News(™): like….really likes him ( ͡°👅 ͡°)
tungsten dioxide whats this:
NO
tungsten dioxide whats this:
NO NO NO
moonmoon: if not true…why panic??
mindiana jones: peter has a crush on spider-man?
mindiana jones: makes sense
nedleedle: !!!!!
nedleedle: you know peter has been disappearing a lot recently
nedleedle: and it matches up with every time spider-man’s been active near here 👀
Judas!!! No!!!
One Hit KO: WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING
One Hit KO:
STOP
mr harrington please stop sending memes challenge
moonmoon: holy fuck
moonmoon: peter do you skip class to go watch spider-man
Murphy’s law: he does carry that camera around a lot
mindiana jones: now that i think of it, he never does show me his photos
Judas!!! No!!!
One Hit KO: YOU FAKE BITCH I SHOW YOU THEM ALL THE TIME
Rowdy Boys
Small™: PERCY HELP
Small™: THE GROUP CHAT IS MAKING IT SEEM LIKE IM IN LOVE WITH SPIDERMAN AND MJ AND NED ARE HELPING THEM
jalapeno eating king: gods i love this generation
mr harrington please stop sending memes challenge
president lincoln: has he met him more than once at the internship???
nedleedle: now that i think about it
nedleedle: he gets real shifty about it sometimes when i ask what he does some days
avril lavigne: h o l y s h i t
Rowdy Boys:
Small™: percy please
jalapeno eating king: alright kid
jalapeno eating king: im gonna level with you
jalapeno eating king: theres no getting out of this one
Small™: im sobbing
jalapeno eating king: that leaves only one option
Small™: ignore it until it goes away and they drop it?
jalapeno eating king: what?
jalapeno eating king: no
jalapeno eating king: lean into it. confirm you and spider-man are an item. make THEM regret this. turn the tables.
Small™: are you telling me to invent a fake relationship between me and my alter ego
jalapeno eating king: absolutely. think of how funny it’ll be
Small™: you’re incredible. thank you.
mr harrington please stop sending memes challenge
tungsten dioxide whats this: please stop guys
tungsten dioxide whats this: ill tell you the truth
tungsten dioxide whats this: just. Stop
Judas!!! No!!!
not a loser: peter?
Loser 2: dude what are you doing
mr harrington please stop sending memes challenge
tungsten dioxide whats this: im dating spider-man.