Chapter Text
Far from Shen Yuan to complain about his parents, be it in this life or the former. He knew how wretchedly lucky he was, in spite of being raised in a brothel and under the assumption that he was groomed to become the next Veiled Beauty after his mother – because he heard the Wu twins remembering how they were thrown out as soon as they turned out to be qianyuan, he heard Tanhua bitterly mentioning her mother staring with hard eyes while she was discarded at fourteen years old for being raped, he heard Meigui crying in her bed from the shock of her father selling her to pay his debts.
Nobody wound up a whore because they enjoyed it – perhaps some courtesans were born so wealthy and lacking in shame already, they could take as many lovers as they wanted, but they weren’t truly flowers to be plucked by a thousand careless hands and dropped in the trash just as swiftly. In order to land in a pillow house, you had to come from truly unfortunate circumstances.
So the reborn soul wouldn’t complain, and he wouldn’t be an ingrate on the matter of his raising, no matter how personally cumbersome it was for his caretakers – because his dumb body wouldn’t stop growing sicker and weaker in spite of the surgeries and drugs, or because having to juggle two careers as a posh intellectual and a high class call-girl plus an unexpected baby was complicated and awkward. For that, for the sheer expenditure of money and time sunk in the bad investment Shen Yuan revealed himself to be in two different lives, the young kunze would forever respect and admire Mama and Papa Shen in his previous existence, Shen Jiu in his current one.
He didn’t complain. He merely… needed some space. Especially after learning he and his Niang were cordially invited for tea with Shang Qinghua, traitor to be and An Ding’s current Peak Lord, who thought his kunze adoptive daughter could do with a little playmate to share the burdens of being trained as a pretty ornament for court and a quiet little bride for an entitled noble scion, so the fucker wanted to introduce them to each other, and no it wasn’t actually possible to refuse because that wouldn’t be good optics, it was first and foremost a matter of politics.
Shen Yuan never had to play the dancing monkey in his previous life, at least his miserable health was a positive in that situation, he could remain abed and laugh at his siblings when they managed to escape from a dinner or a concert in which Papa Shen’s business associates would do their utmost to shmooze and grovel at the feet of da-ge, Mama Shen’s girl friends would fuss over meimei’s curled hair and brand-new dress while tutting at er-ge’s choice of shrinking and chewing his tongue whenever they inquired about his plans for the future, what do you mean you have no idea ?
Now it was Shen Yuan’s turn to be prettily dressed – Ning Yingying already squealed at the prospect of matching gowns for him and a-Niang, begging for helping Auntie Fan to embroider and sew the garments – and to daintily sit to nibble at snacks and politely smile at a girl he didn’t know while the grown-ups were watching every single interaction to be analyzed later. Because Shen Yuan wasn’t a whore’s get anymore, he was the kunze offspring of two Peak Lords and that status came with expectations.
He wasn’t complaining about Shen Jiu not having to trample his dignity and self-worth by selling his hand in marriage to a lustful pig in order to ensure he wouldn’t die pox-riddled in a gutter after growing too old to tempt rich merchants and nobles in spending their taels for his company. But things certainly felt less choking when Shen Yuan ignored his mother was the second highest Peak Lord of the most influent Sect in the jianghu.
And Yue Qingyuan – well, it was another hiccup entirely. A hiccup that didn’t mean to be one, because the Qiong Ding Peak Lord was plainly desperate to cherish Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan, to provide them everything they could need or want, he loved both of them so clearly you didn’t even need the family bond to see it. A love deep, heavy, crushing as the oceanic depths, carrying Shen Yuan far, far away from the shore when he never learned how to swim and he was confused to begin with since Yue Qingyuan barely knew him, had no idea of his favourite bedtime story or the fact he favored Wu Lin brushing his hair because her hands were the warmest in the pillow house, you couldn’t truly love somebody when they were all but a stranger to you and Yue Qingyuan managed to pull it anyway…
So maybe everything lately was too much, and Shen Yuan merely wanted a moment to breathe on his own. Just stepping outside the bamboo house while his parents and Ning Yingying were sleeping – and wasn’t that a thrilling adventure, ungluing himself from the nest without causing a-Niang or Yue Qingyuan or Ning-jie to startle awake and freak at seeing him climbing through the window, no way he could save his ass by claiming his bladder was asking for fresh air – and lifting his eyes towards the star-studded black expanse of the night sky.
His heartbeat fluttered. Modern China’s light pollution prevented any amateur astrologist to indulge their passion, and he always remained carefully confined within the Red Warm Pavilion’s building until he got accidentally abducted by a well-meaning physician in training, and the following events had been such a mess he didn’t think about stargazing.
Now he was, and the sky was glittering above his head. How many of these twinkling lights would keep shining in the modern era ? Considering Proud Immortal Demon Way was a xianxia world, were the stars alive ? Able to coat themselves in human shape and walk among mankind ? The twice-born child shivered as he tried to picture how the embodied stars would look like.
Then he stilled when the stench of blood slapped him in the face, a rabbit hearing a wolf’s footsteps in the brush.
(no no no no no)
« Young Master ? That’s you ! »
(no no no NO NO)
He was standing there, the boy meant to torture a-Niang to an inch of his life but never further because Luo Binghe’s hatred wouldn’t suffer for one he despised to be released by death – the boy meant to ambush Yue Qingyuan with such overwhelming violence there would be nothing but shattered steel to recover in the aftermath – the boy meant to seize Ning Yingying as his wife among thousands of violent, plotting and treacherous consorts while her grandmother was thrown at his most merciless generals for the sin of showing kindness to Shen Qingqiu – he was standing there in all his gangly glory, frizzy hair surronding his face as dandelion puff to protest a day spent pulled back in a ponytail, a wide happy smile on his mouth – a smile just like some hopelessly delusional pigs would have when asking for one jiejie at the Warm Red Pavilion, fancying himself infatuated and his crush reciprocated when the flowers had to force themselves to politely greet them because a man with too much money and power was dangerous when upset…
Shen Yuan blinked.
(rule number one when you’re a whore interacting with a pig, never stop smiling, Yinghua declared as she painted her lips scarlet)
The young kunze’s mouth hurt as he forced its corners up, trying to appear soft, gentle, unassuming – a whore couldn’t be too bold and confident, men had such thin faces and couldn’t stand any perceived mockery.
(rule number two, always be formal and deferent to stroke their ego, no matter how rude and grabby they are, Wu San snorted as she adjusted the angle of her hairpin)
« Disciple Luo » he greeted in a half-whisper, « good evening to you. »
(rule number three, never forget how much trouble a man can and will unleash upon your sisters and aunties if he’s disgruntled about your behaviour)
Beads of sweat itched beneath his nightgown and his heartbeat thundered in his ears, yet his jiejies and aunties’ voices rang stronger.