Chapter Text
Today is independence day, Sakura declared.
It might not be that way to others, it may have been just another day out of the hundreds of the year, but this day is the day she felt the air enter her lungs, almost levitating from the happiness and relief it gave her. It was sweeter than she expected.
She can breathe now, nothing is clogged, drowning her, and she was free.
Free.
It was a dream from a time long past, yet she had finally achieved it.
After so many years.
After all those times.
Sakura stopped walking, watching the sun peek from behind the faces of the venerated Hokage, greeting the once sleeping village and rousing its people to wakefulness. It was bright, and it hurt her eyes, but despite the prickling of the rays, she smiled.
Wide and happy.
Hands towards the rapidly lightening sky, she relished the coolness the winter brought. It is still too early and there are only a few people milling on the streets. There is the merchant who sold toys from other nations, the lady who baked pastries, and those men who played go at a corner of a shop.
What a normal day.
She walked leisurely, greeting the citizens like she does every morning, whenever she passes by.
“Oh my, Sakura-chan! It’s still too early for a young lady to walk by herself! Maa, growing girls need all the beauty sleep they can get. But now that I think of it, Isn’t today the graduation for the academy? Is that why you’re earlier than the roosters?”
Sakura smiled at the kind lady, jogging to her when she beckoned for her to enter the little bakery. It was quaint and homely and was owned by Tsukiyama-san’s son, who bought it and then went to Suna because he needed ‘adventure’ or whatever that was.
Rumours spread that he had impregnated a girl there.
Most likely the truth.
“Yes! I’m just so excited so I woke up earlier than my alarm! Mom complained because I was making too much of a noise! I had to tiptoe just to get to the door.”
In Tsukiyamaan frowned, and she sighed after looking her up and down.
“You haven’t had breakfast, yet, I assume?”
As if on cue, her stomach grumbled, advertising her hunger to the other woman. Blushing to the tips of her ears, Sakura looked down when the older lady ushered her towards one of the tables and forced her to sit.
Having those rough and surprisingly strong hands on her shoulder made her want to slap it away, but Sakura stayed put. Gritting her teeth, she choked on the impulse, clenching her fist tightly. One, two,three. Thankfully, Tsukiyama-san never noticed her inner turmoil, turning her back on her, and Sakura looked and looked.
Her back looked empty.
Empty of what?
‘It will be easy.’
‘You did it once.’
‘Do it again. You’ll feel better.’
Her pupils dilated, eyes wide as she swivelled her head from side to side, waiting for a glint to reach her. She swept over the little bakery, manic and frenzied searching and seeking. It had to be sharp, she thought; it can be little, she thought.
Like the pin from the buckle of a belt.
On the counter, there laid a knife. It was small and serrated, for cutting bread. Not so sharp but certainly well-used. It will do.
It’s enough.
More than enough.
Her fingers crept towards the hilt, but her hands never reached the knife as Tsukiyama-san’s voice sounded closer than it was just seconds ago.
“What do you want to eat, darling? I haven’t started with kneading the flour but I have katsudon leftovers! I just have to reheat them. Do you want to eat some before heading to the academy?”
Snapping herself from her trance, her gaze snapped to her face and she smiled.
“Of course! Anything you cook is delicious, Tsukiyama-san!~ No one can compare, not even that snobby owner of that donburi place near the gates! You’re the best for me!”
The older woman only giggled at her statement, humouring Sakura’s flattery. She continued with rummaging inside her cabinets, the clangs of the pots, the sound of the stove being turned on, and the jovial hums from the kitchen settled the rising need for something inside Sakura.
“Oh yeah, Tsukiyama-san?”
Her voice sounded muddled, as she entered the adjoined house.
“Yes?”
“Make them spicy, please!”
“Okay, you spice-loving brat!”
She hummed, legs swaying in the space of her feet and the ground. There is still a lot of time left before the Academy gates open and even if she spent an hour loitering here, there will be an excess to spare. The sound of crackling wood reached her, and the smell of frying pork meeting the oil in the pan made her hungrier.
After a few minutes, Tsukiyama-san entered from the little door at the left, a bowl of steaming katsudon balanced on her hand and a glass of green tea in the other. The steam was a continuous fog, and with it came the scent she had not been exposed to for a very long time.
Homemade meals.
When was the last time her mother had cooked her food?
Three years ago?
Two?
Five?
Sakura cannot remember anymore. Her tongue had been used to the taste of stale bread, cold store-bought food, and instant ramen. If her mother did cook, she would only be given the leftovers, but most of the time, there would be nothing left for her to eat. However, she bought a lot of canned food with the meagre penny scattered in the house, and the money she sometimes swiped from the men who visited her.
She thanked the lady, eating the piping hot katsudon, blowing to reduce the heat. The rice was soft, and meat is something she did not have the luxury to eat every day. Sakura’s eyes prickled, warming as tears formed as she shovelled the food into her mouth.
“Is it that delicious that you are crying, Sakura-chan?”
Sniffling, she lifted her head and gave the woman a wobbly smile.
“Yes, Tsukiyama-san. It is.”
After she finished the meal graciously given to her, Sakura stayed in the bakery for an hour and a half, watching Tsuiyama-san as she baked the bread she must sell in the morning. Of course, since she had nothing to do, she helped with kneading the flour and piping the muffins with whipped cream, washing the dishes and even wiping the counter clean. When everything was finished, she said her goodbyes and proceeded to make her way to the Academy, which was nearly half an hour of walking from the civilian district.
It was already nearing nine in the morning, and her sensitive ears picked up the excited chatters of her classmates from inside the building. She cannot blame them, for she is the same. Her heart is pounding with anticipation, and she wanted nothing more than for the day to speed up, to at the time when she will be getting the forehead protector.
“Sakura-chan! Good morning!”
Naruto crashed into her, hugging her at the waist. Her hands reached his spiky blonde locks and patted them. The boy dug his face on her neck and Sakura laughed at her friend’s adorable display.
Here is one who is touch-starved, being indulged by another who was touched too much. It was curious, however, that when people come closer to her and make contact with her body, she can feel the shivers on her back, disgust and repulsion warring inside her heart. However, when the blue-eyed rascal reached out to her, she found she did not mind, not in the slightest, and even makes the initiative. If she thinks about it, Naruto even made her nerve settle, and his warmth drives off the perpetual chill frosting her insides.
“Hello, Naruto. Are you excited for today?”
He looked at her, eyes shining, and then nodded his head. Like her, Naruto wanted to be a shinobi, though their reasons differ vastly. While she wanted freedom, he had always desired recognition. That he can be someone strong and not just someone that is hated and scorned. Sakura believes he can achieve whatever he set his mind on, as he is an annoyingly optimistic person, with motivation as longstanding as tall trees in the Forbidden Forest.
“Of course I am, dattebayo!”
Naruto will go far, and all his dreams will come true.
Sakura vowed to herself that even if hers will never see the light of day, at least she’ll make sure that Naruto will have them in the palms of his hand.
“Let’s go inside, Naruto. There are a few of our classmates already inside and we need to find our seats. Iruka-sensei will be here in a few minutes.”
Naruto unwinded his arms from her body, and instead held her hands. She wanted to let go, and she barely stopped herself from wiping his hands. She is dirty and tainted, as opposed to the pureness of her friend. She slightly tugged at their joined hands, intent on shaking him off. The boy, however only tightened his fingers, continuing to drag her towards their classroom. Sighing, she let it be, as he can be quite pushy when he so wants to.
Upon their arrival to the second floor, and before even setting foot on their room, she can hear the squeals and sighs of the girls. It seems Uchiha Sasuke arrived early, too. He always came on time, not a second early and not a moment late. Sakura did not expect him to come at this time.
True enough, when she and Naruto entered, she saw that the other boy had seated himself in their usual seats. Confused, she thought of why, as he used to plaster himself at the front, with no one bothering him. She stood there, silently looking at the other boy, but Naruto had other plans.
“Oi, bastard! Why are you sitting in OUR seats? Get your ass off of it and go sit on your own! That’s mine and Sakura-chan’s!”
“Whatever, idiot.”
Naruto slammed a hand on the surface of the table, glaring at the Uchiha. The fangirls took it as an offence to their precious “Sasuke-kun” and started to scream at Naruto, that he does not have the right to yell and curse at Uchiha Sasuke, let alone talk to him, and that how dare he demand something when he is one of the lowest-ranked students here and Sasuke is at the top.
Her headache pounded, and she stalked to the source of it. Naruto is now at the top of the table picking a fight, so she yanked on the collar of his brightly coloured jumpsuit and pulled him down. She looked at Uchiha Sasuke, a question burning in her eyes, but he just averted his, crossing his hands and laying his chin on them. Without a choice, she surveyed the room to find if there are other seats, but she knew that her classmates would not appreciate it if Uzumaki Naruto is among them.
Except, of course, for Hyuuga Hinata, but she would only faint upon seeing Naruto, what more will happen if there is prolonged contact?
Combust, probably.
So, she started to walk to the very back of the room, when a hand suddenly enclosed on her wrist. The disgust swelled once more, threatening to swallow her up. How she wanted to just break the hand touching her, but then she got a whiff of something sweet wafting from the other boy. The scent strangely grounding her.
It’s Dango, she thought.
She did not expect him to have a sweet tooth.
“You can sit here. There is room for the three of us.”
Oh?
What a surprise.
Sasuke certainly needs something from her, for him to be offering like this. But what? He’s too young to be asking for her ‘nighttime’ services. Does he even know about that? This is someone who hates their female classmates and was not seen talking with members of the opposite sex, except for his many cousins and his mother.
Well, her too, since the boy had been trying to converse with her since yesterday.
“Haaaah!? Do you hear yourself, yo-mmmh!”
Clamping her hand on her loudmouth of a friend, she looked Uchiha straight to the eyes.
“We’ll take you up on that offer, Uchiha-san. Thank you very much.”
He nodded his head at her, a grunt escaping his lips. The Uchiha scooted as he made space for them to sit, and Sakura gave her thanks again. He looked outside the window, lacing his hands, and then promptly ignored both Sakura and Naruto after he secured their place beside them.
After a few seconds of Naruto squirming, she let him go and immediately sat at the middle seat, in between Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke. There will be no point if these two started arguing now, as Iruka-sensei along with the other teacher in the academy, Mizuki.
“Settle down now, everyone! The exam will start and I want you to do your best! Do you understand?”
She is ready.
She passed.
Naruto did not.
And now, he is nowhere to be found.
After he failed the exam (again) and did not qualify for graduation, was not liable for promotion to the ranks of Genin and received the headband, he left her in the classroom. Naruto told her that he needed fresh air, and since he begged her not to follow him, she complied with his wishes to be left alone. It wasn’t like he will suddenly run away from the village and do something outrageous.
Naruto may be an idiot, but he’s sensible.
Sometimes.
When he felt like it.
And so she let him be.
Sakura went home, the harsh sun stinging her skin. There are a lot of families at the gates of the academy; parents hugging and kissing their children who will now become contributing forces of their society. Of course, the most powerful and wealthiest clans are also in attendance, she realized as she watched the Uchiha matriarch smiling at her youngest son, with the Uchiha Head, stoically standing on one side along with one of Konoha’s greatest prodigies, Uchiha Itachi. Sasuke looked proud, face on the verge of breaking into a smile, and she was surprised to see such an unfamiliar expression on the surly boy’s face. He had always been moody, serious and sarcastic and to watch him be unguarded tilted her view a little.
Well, odd as it was, it’s none of her business. She did not know him enough to be a judge of whether what is normal and unusual.
As expected, her parents did not show up, but as they are otherwise occupied, Sakura understood their absence. In the sea of well-wishes and warm regards, Haruno Sakura, stood alone, without someone to tell her she had done a good job.
Emerald eyes looked to the sky.
They are as blue as Naruto’s eyes; she remarked once more. The rays of the distant star were like his hair and its shine as bright as his smile.
The world is unfair, for someone as hardworking as Naruto to be denied the future he had wanted for so long.
With one last glance at the sea of happy faces, she exited the premises, and into the gates of the academy, into the direction of the civilian market. As there are no classes to be attended anymore, and her attendance is not needed in the house, she decided to buy ingredients for homemade ramen. The least she can do for her best friend is to cheer him up, lift his spirits and comfort him with his favourite food. It will not erase the fact that he had failed to become a shinobi, but it will stave off the despondency and defeat from his heart, for only a bit.
And she also knows that Naruto had not eaten anything today.
He saves his ramen for dinner. And with his allowance being siphoned by his greedy landlady, the vendors selling him almost thrice the original price, he only had enough for two cup noodles a day.
With her hands full of food, she made her way to her house. She need not knock, as there was no one inside at the moment, her parents are currently unavailable and cannot be reached. There was only her inside at the moment, and no one else.
She removed her sandals and immediately went to the kitchen. It still smelled strongly of something sharp, the astringent scent irritating her nose. Ignoring the stench emanating from the floors, she went to the sink to prepare.
Chopping, mincing and slicing the vegetables and the meat consumed most of her time, as she recently learned how to do such a chore, and was now allowed to enter the place only her mother used, as she is now considered an adult. After everything had been prepared, she set to making the ramen.
Naruto will like it, she’s sure of it.
The knife slammed on the chopping board. The meat easily giving way at the touch of a sharp blade.
She hummed a folk song, almost unconsciously, and waited for the broth to boil.
Her voice echoed in the silence of her empty home.
The ramen was cold, the noodles soggy and the soup already saturating the strands, when Naruto finally had the chance to eat it, and that was when midnight nearly stroke true.
Why is that? Sakura mused to herself.
It turns out, her assumption of her friend not making any ruckus at his current state was very, very wrong.
Who, in their right mind, will steal the Scroll of Seals, one that contained a significant number of forbidden techniques etched into its pages just because someone told him? Well, considering he only failed his other graduation exams because of not being able to do the Shadow Clone Jutsu, it was a logical choice.
But still?
Following Mizuki’s advice?
That slimy bastard?
She told him over and over again to avoid that two-faced man. Because even though he was smiling all the damn time, Sakura is in the belief that men who try their hardest to come off as kind and yet give off the nastiest vibes must be only looked at once and then never given a second glance. But Naruto still believed his words.
How she wanted to shake him.
‘What were you thinking, Naruto?”
Her friend only smiled at her, a little guilty and mostly triumphant split on his tanned face. Rubbing his hand behind his head, he prepared to explain his side, though Sakura had the gist when Anbu operatives walked Naruto home.
“He told me that I’ll pass if I steal the scroll and learn the technique, Sakura-chan! And I passed, you know? Because I’m great and I saved Iruka-sensei with it and he was bleeding and hurt, but he was proud of me! He was impressed and told me I’m a genin now! Isn’t it cool? Iruka-sensei is still at the hospital, but this forehead protector was his and he gave it to me!”
He pointed his thumb on the shiny metal.
Sakura sighed, padding at Naruto’s apartment with bare feet and washing the dishes they used on the sink. Before she came into his life, his room was filled with garbage and unwashed laundry, almost filling the entire room. However, the moment she entered and a cockroach immediately crossed her path, she set to cleaning and forced her best friend to participate.
She spent most of her free daytime hours in Naruto’s small apartment, and no way will she hang around when the smell the mats give off is akin to that of a wet trash dump.
“Naruto, please be careful next time. What if Iruka-sensei wasn’t there to block Mizuki’s attacks? That could have hurt you! Mizuki may still be a career chūnin but he is still much stronger than you are!”
Her friend deflated, turning his head away and pouting at his walls, hands crossed in front of his chest. He had changed into his pyjamas, that strange nightcap on his head, on top of the forehead protector he’s still wearing.
Seeing as he is now sulking and trying not to throw a tantrum, Sakura wiped her hands on the towel on the sink. Kneeling in front of the sitting Naruto, she reached out and patted his spiky, blonde hair. He turned to her and gave her a big smile, and she returned it with a gentle one.
“I am proud of you, despite what happened tonight. You finally made it, Naruto. But please no more heart attacks like this, alright?”
His grin became wider, and Sakura saw the tears gathering on the corners of his eyes. Winding her arms around him, she embraced him as he sniffled, stubbornly holding back his cries. He let go, however, when Sakura started rubbing circles on his back, wetting her shoulders with his tears and snot. He was mumbling something incoherent, his words indistinguishable as he buried his face at her shoulders. Sakura just continued with her ministrations, letting the weight of his success dawn on him.
After a few minutes of shushing him and rocking, Naruto fell asleep in her arms, the excitement and stress of the night finally catching up to him. With surprising ease, she carried him to his futon and laid him down, making sure his blanket covered him to his chin. He will most likely kick it in the middle of his deep sleep but at least for now, he’ll be warm.
Setting the alarm for tomorrow’s meeting, one to decide their teams, Sakura bid him goodnight, locking his doors and walking towards the path towards the civilian district. The road is empty, as it is the middle of the night, the cold air hitting her bare arms. Sakura shivered, but otherwise, did not increase the pace of her walking, still leisurely strolling Konoha’s pathways.
There is no hurry on her steps, and she took her time walking the familiar streets. Sakura can hear nimble footsteps on the tiles of the roofs of the houses, most likely returning shinobi from their missions from outside the village. Good thing her house is on the other side, and there is no one walking or running atop their heads. Her mother and father may have chosen the cheapest, ugliest house in the neighbourhood, but at least it was silent and no one can disturb them.
Almost an hour from the time she left Naruto’s apartment, she reached her house. It was small, and a garden filled with flowers greets whoever enters the gates. Her mother had always liked gardening and spent her time around her plants. The care she put in is evident on the healthy flowers and other such shrubberies, their stems fat and full. They were well-taken care of, their petals and leaves bright and big.
She just stood there, for how long, she did not know. And she kept on looking at the things her mother had poured her love in.
Her hair was the same colour as these blossoms during spring.
Her eyes were the colour of the greenest leaves of evergreen trees.
Her name was of the most beautiful flower.
Haruno Sakura.
Springfield of Cherry Blossoms.
But, then why?
Why was she thrown away like some stubborn, parasitic weed? Why, instead of soft, yielding hands, all she got were bruises and wounds, and harsh and cruel words? When had she not felt worthless and hopeless, suffocating inside that windowless room, afraid of never being allowed outside ever again, while these damn plants were enjoying the sun?
She’s lower than these useless things? Is that it? Can she even compare to the fucking worms wriggling on the ground?
Anger surged from inside of her, violent and all-consuming, and she trampled the urge to destroy everything. Tears blurred her vision and she turned away, breathing deeply. Sakura immediately ran to the entrance, sliding the key, turned the knob and went inside. Slamming the door hard enough to rattle the frame, she slid down and hugged her knees to her chest and took the time to calm herself. She glared at the darkness staring back at her.
The house is without light, not a single bulb sharing its brightness. And so when she reined in her swirling emotions and found the strength to stand up, she had to feel the walls to get to the switch.
Flicking the lights on, Sakura made a beeline to her room. All the windows were closed, the curtains were drawn, and she never looked at anything, focusing on going to the only safe place inside the house.
When she’s inside there, they can’t touch her.
There are only a few hours left for her to sleep, and since they will be assigned to their genin teams and teacher tomorrow, she will have to prepare and rest well. Who knows who her teammates will be, and she has to be ready for the stress that’ll surely come. It will be the first time that she will be separated from Naruto, and though she had been with her classmates for a few years now, there’s no one aside from the blonde boy she can call a friend.
Sakura took a bath, laid down on her bed, and slept.
But not before she looked at the big tree behind her house.
It was her namesake.
A Sakura tree.
With a new garden, Sakura planted around the thick roots. It was a large project, she thought to herself. The soil was newly dug and the flowers were freshly watered.
It was not her mother’s.
Hers and only hers.
She hummed once more.
That folk song.
Her voice echoed in the silence of her empty home.