Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mickey’s father was extremely homophobic, and wouldn’t even let Mickey be friends with anyone who “seemed gay”, whatever that meant. He said they’d probably turn Mickey gay, and that he wouldn’t want a fag for a son. It was impossible to turn someone gay, of course, but Terry was probably just looking for more excuses to be an asshole.

Mickey didn’t have many friends anyways, and wasn’t great at making them. But the thought of his father finding out one of them was gay, or even thinking one of them was, terrified him. He didn’t want anyone to get hurt because of him, even if he didn’t do it on purpose. His father would probably try to “beat the fag” out of both of them.

He had first thought he could be gay when he was around 15-years-old, but he didn’t want to admit it to anyone, even himself. He knew what his father thought about gay people, and he knew if a single person who knew his father found out, it wouldn’t end well for him. He had never really been attracted to girls, both emotionally and physically. He never found them sexually appealing, and he hated the idea of dating a girl. His excuse for never dating a girl was that “they were all too annoying”, but that definitely wasn’t the reason.

Eventually his brothers and Terry all got suspicious that he had no crushes on girls and shit. So he started hooking up with some, he could barely even get it up, and he hated doing it, but he knew if he didn’t they’d definitely be suspicious. He would hate it more if someone found out, he’d probably be dead, or as good as dead.

Here Mickey was again, zoning off again in his English class. He never got the best grades anyways, and the teacher wasn’t saying anything too important, so he had let his mind wander. He then heard something that interested him, though maybe not in a good way. His teacher told them he’d be assigning them each a penpal that they’d have to write to until the end of the school year. Mickey didn’t want a stupid penpal, he was 17 and didn’t want to waste time writing to some idiot who probably couldn’t even read his handwriting. Teachers had always told him he had bad handwriting, even in kindergarten. Who tells a fucking five-year-old he has bad handwriting? Though maybe he just thought that because he was still pissed at his kindergarten teacher.

The teacher then handed out pieces of paper with their penpal’s name, address, and age. She put nothing else on the paper, explaining that they’d find out whatever else they wanted to know as they got to know their penpal more. Mickey looked down at his paper, at least the guy was 15. They probably wouldn’t get along well anyways, but it’d be harder if he was some stupid kindergartener or whatever.

The teacher gave them the rest of class to write their first letter, but Mickey couldn’t come up with anything. He didn’t know what he should say, he wasn’t good at this shit. He wasn’t even super good at texting, much less writing letters. Though eventually he did come up with something.

‘Gallagher,

I guess we’re penpals now. Don’t write me anything stupid. Not exactly sure what your teacher told you about me, but I’m 17. Have fun with that info, it’s all you get for now.

Mickey’

He knew it was shitty, but he didn’t have a better idea on what to write. He rarely wrote anything, and when he did his handwriting was barely legible. He wasn’t great at this stuff, but he might as well do it, it wasn’t like he could tell the teacher he just wasn’t going to do it. Hopefully his penpal wasn’t annoying or bitchy. He put his pencil back down, stuffed the letter into the envelope, and scribbled down his name and address. Though he did try to make it a bit neater, so the people delivering it could tell who they were sending it to. He’d probably just take a different route home and walk by the mailbox to send it to Ian.

Once school had finished, he walked out fairly fast. He usually did, but today he did it because he wanted to send this letter already. He didn’t really care all that much, but he was still curious of what Ian would reply with; maybe Ian was already writing to him, and he’d get the letter soon enough. A small part of him was secretly hoping he’d make a friend, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up or anything. They only had to write to each other until the end of the school year, who knows what would happen after it was over.

Neither of his brothers went to school anymore, so he didn’t have to deal with them asking him where he was going. He went a different way than usual, soon finding the mailbox he was looking for and quickly shoving the envelope into it. He hoped he didn’t seem weird to this guy, but it was too late to get the note back now.

~~~

Ian had gotten to class late, again. He had been up late training and had forgotten to set his alarm. He quickly sat in his seat, trying to not draw too much attention to himself. He was embarrassed enough without the teacher bringing it up in the middle of class.

The teacher eyed him weirdly and sighed. “As I was saying, you’ve each been assigned a penpal. You’ll be required to send them letters until the school year is over.” She said, most people already had an envelope and paper, but Ian hadn’t been here for that. She then grabbed the last envelope and paper that Ian assumed was for him, and walked past a few desks until she reached Ian’s, placing it onto his desk. He smiled at her slightly, she glared back. She didn’t like how late he always was, she always had to repeat herself just for him.

“Your penpal’s name and address are already written on the envelope,” She said it more quietly, though probably just so she didn’t disturb the other kids already writing. “Though I suggest you write it down somewhere else, you wouldn’t want to forget where to send the letter.” She said that last part a bit harshly, as if she was warning Ian that she wouldn’t be pleased if he came asking her for that information again.

He quickly nodded, he didn’t want to upset her anymore since she was clearly already in a bad mood. He then got out a pencil and grabbed the paper. He couldn’t decide what to write, he didn’t want to seem annoying but he also didn’t want to seem boring.

The first thing that stood out to Ian was the name. He didn’t want to seem rude, but if he was writing to the guy a lot he wouldn’t want to write it out constantly. Maybe he should come up with a nickname, but he didn’t know what. He started thinking, tapping his desk with the pencil absentmindedly, Mikhailo… Mik… Mick? It wasn’t the best, but he thought it sounded okay.

‘Dear Mick,

I’m gonna be honest, I don’t write letters often. I should probably ask my teacher what to say but she already seems pissed at me for coming in late. I guess I should tell you a bit about myself. My name’s Ian Gallagher, though I think you already know that, I’m a redhead, I have five siblings, and I’m 15. What about you?

I have more I could say, but I think that’s a bit much for strangers. I hope we can get to know each other better.

Sincerely,
Ian G.’

He did really want to get to know his penpal, especially if they were going to be writing to each other until the end of the school year. It wouldn’t be nearly as fun if they hated each other or knew nothing about each other. He folded his letter neatly and put it into the envelope. Then copying the name and address onto a spare notecard he found in his backpack. He hoped his penpal wasn’t an asshole, and especially hoped his penpal wouldn’t be homophobic. He wasn’t really planning on coming out to his penpal, at least not yet, but it was better he wasn’t homophobic.

He went home with the letter in his backpack, he seemed a bit more excited than normal, but he tried to hide it. As soon as he got home he rushed inside, shouting to whoever was home. “Anyone going to get the mail?! I have something to send to someone!”

Debbie was the one who answered him, quickly walking down the stairs. “Fiona told me to do it, I can just take your letter with me..” She said, carrying baby Liam in her arms.

Ian smiled at his little sister, pulling out the letter and handing it to her. “Thank you, we got assigned penpals at school today, I wanted to send my letter as soon as possible. I can take Liam if you need?” He suggested, he didn’t want to make her get the mail, send a letter for him, and babysit Liam all at once. She nodded and handed the baby to him before grabbing the letter and running off. Ian assumed she was going to get the keys but he couldn’t be sure.

Chapter Text

It was Saturday morning, probably around 9, but Mickey didn’t really give a shit, he had been up almost all night and had a shitty hangover. Mandy had just gotten the mail, seeing as no one else got it, and she knocked on her brother's door quickly, she just found a letter in the mail that was addressed to him. He hadn’t ever gotten a letter that wasn’t about a school suspension, expulsion, or something related to him breaking the law. She wanted to know who the hell was writing to him.

“Mickey! Someone wrote to you!” She shouted, starting to knock a bit harder since her brother still wasn’t answering. Mickey slowly sat up, he stayed up way later than he should’ve last night, even if he was used to late nights, and was still exhausted and hungover from one too many beers with his brothers. He groaned, the knocking and his sister's voice were starting to give him a headache.

“What do you want?! It’s too fucking early to be shouting!” He shouted back, though that might be somewhat hypocritical, he still didn’t want to get out of bed. She had no reason to be waking him up this early, in his opinion, especially on a Saturday morning. He wasn’t really paying attention to whatever she had said.

She groaned and tried to open the door, of course it was locked. Mickey locked his door and then expected her to somehow open it and give him the letter. “Open the damn door!” She shouted again, she was curious as to who this Ian Gallagher was, and why he was writing to her brother. She didn’t want to open the envelope, she knew Mickey would notice and get mad at her, but she was too curious to give it up so easily.

Mickey sighed and got out of bed, running his hand through his hair to try and make it a bit neater. He didn’t know how the hell he slept, he didn’t care enough to ask someone, but it sure wasn’t peaceful. His hair was always in his face and messy as hell when he woke up. He unlocked the door and shoved it open, looking down at the letter in his hand. “What do you want, Mandy? You fucking woke me up to talk about the mail?!” He asked, more grumpy than angry. He hadn’t looked to see who the letter was from yet.

“Not just any mail, someone wrote you a letter! Who’s this Ian?~” She asked in a teasing tone, she liked joking around with her brother. His reactions were always hilarious, especially when he was tired or grumpy like today.

Mickey blushed slightly, but only because he was embarrassed. It was his first letter from the guy, but he already wanted to know what he wrote. Wondering what the hell Ian would write him had made him antsy since they got the assignment. He glared at her and snatched the envelope out of her hands. “Someone.. It’s for a school assignment.” He mumbled. He would’ve yelled at her to leave, but his hangover was really starting to get to him.

She smirked when she noticed the blush, her brother always blushed so easily and it was fun to mess with him, but decided she wouldn’t push too much further. “Oh that’s too bad, I would’ve thought he was your friend or something..!” She replied, the smug look still on her face. She enjoyed teasing her brother.

“I don’t fucking know him! We’re fucking strangers who know each other’s names! That’s all!” He yelled, he didn’t have the energy to deal with her teasing. He slammed the door and locked it behind him, getting back into his warm bed and slowly opening the letter. He was slightly nervous, wondering what Ian had written and if this letter was a response to his or if Ian had written it before he had gotten Mickey’s letter.

When he read the letter, he noticed that Ian’s handwriting was simple and easy to read. Hopefully he didn’t have a horrible time trying to read Mickey’s handwriting, he already knew it was awful. His eyebrows raised when he read that Ian had five siblings, sure, Mickey could possibly have that many siblings, well they would likely be half-siblings, but he didn’t live with all of them. Most of his family barely stayed here anyways, whether they were stuck in jail, or off somewhere else doing god knows what, though it was almost always something illegal. Nothing they did could really surprise Mickey anymore, he was used to it, though maybe he shouldn’t tell Ian about that.

He noticed that Ian said wanted to know more about him too, though he wasn’t sure what to respond with, and he didn’t feel like getting up and writing a response right now. He didn’t want to tell him about Mickey’s family history, that would scare him off, but he didn’t really want to tell Ian about himself either. He wasn’t all that special, the only things that stood out about him were his tattoos, and that would probably be weird to mention, especially since Ian knew he was only 17.

He felt so awkward doing this, he struggled enough talking with people in person. He didn’t know how to talk to people through letters at all. He started to debate asking Mandy for help, but she’d probably say he should do something stupid like setting her up with the guy. She always liked making stupid jokes about that, especially when the guys were Mickey’s friends.

Mickey decided against asking her, and instead tried to think about anything he could mention that was interesting. He has two older brothers and a younger sister, though those are just the siblings he knows about. No one really knows how many kids Terry has. He didn’t really have anything to tell Ian, and the more he thought about it, the worse the things he thought about saying sounded. Well whatever he was going to say, he didn’t want to mention his dad.

Eventually he got up after debating for a while on what to say, he couldn’t lay around all day, and found a pencil and some paper. Honestly the pencil probably wasn’t his, he found it in his bag and he rarely actually had his own pencils in his bag, but he didn’t care all that much, it was just a pencil.

‘Gallagher,

I have two brothers and a sister. My sister’s around your age, her name’s Mandy. I dunno if you’d like her though. I don’t know what kind of people you like and she can be a pain in the ass. I dunno why you told me you were a redhead either, I don’t really care, but it’s cool I guess.

Mickey’

He did care about the hair, it might sound weird but he’s always had a thing for red-heads. Though this stranger, well, his penpal, didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to know that Mickey was gay either, and it seemed even more weird to bring up now, for some reason.

Once he was finished with the letter he realized he didn’t have an envelope to send it in. He sighed and hid the letter under a book he stole from the library, he didn’t need anyone to read the letter, and he didn’t think anyone in his family really read. He had stolen it for a school project he made Mandy help him with. He went out of his room, wondering if anyone in their family would have envelopes, maybe Mandy would, she seemed like she’d send lots of stupid letters.

He groaned as his bare feet touched the cold wood floors and made his way over to the kitchen, eating some cereal straight out of the box. No one in his family cared, well except for maybe Mandy, and neither did he. Plus it wasn’t likely there were any clean dishes, no one did shit in this house. He finished his “breakfast” and went to Mandy’s room, knocking.

Mandy answered the door fairly quickly. “What? You want me to send your ‘stranger’ your letter? I just got the mail this morning.” She said. Mickey noticed her hair was a bit messy but didn’t want to bring it up.

“No-“ He glared at her, “You have any uh.. envelopes or whatever? I don’t and I don’t think anyone else in this house can even write.” He said, making Mandy laugh. She nodded and went back to her room, soon appearing back at the door with a few envelopes in her hand.

He quickly grabbed the envelopes and left, he was embarrassed he actually gave a shit about this assignment, even if he didn’t care all that much. Normally he wouldn’t have even sent a letter or he would have reused the envelope Ian had and just written over it. He wanted to talk to Ian more, he seemed like a nice guy, though Ian definitely wouldn’t think the same about him.

~~~

Ian and his older brother, Lip, were smoking in their room. Liam was downstairs with Fiona, and Carl was out somewhere, probably doing something stupid, but they didn’t really care at the moment. He never got in too much trouble.

Lip handed the cigarette back to his brother. “Meet any new hot guys lately?” He asked, in a quieter voice than normal. He was one of the only people who knew Ian was gay, and liked making jokes about it, but he’d never purposely out his little brother. It was a shitty move, even for a guy who liked being an asshole.

“Nah.. Same homophobic assholes or weirdos as always. Our school has no good guys.” He complained, taking the cigarette and taking a hit. They both knew they shouldn’t be smoking, but neither of them really gave a shit, and it wasn’t like their parents did either. Frank was always high or drunk anyways, and Monica was rarely ever here.

Lip laughed, he didn’t really understand why Ian was gay, he hadn’t found any guys attractive, and the whole concept of gay sex sounded weird to him. But he also knew it wasn’t a thing you could really change, so he’d just support his brother the best he could. Even if he didn’t understand it.

They soon heard a quiet knock on their door, they didn’t usually keep the door closed but they had decided to close it today. It made the room they shared with two other people seem more private for the smoke session. Ian sat up more, he didn’t really recognize the knock, but then again most people in this house never knocked.

“What do you need?” He asked with a raised voice. He couldn’t figure out exactly who it was, though he assumed they were one of the younger siblings. The knock sounded soft, too soft for a mad Fiona or a drunk frank.

Debbie was the one who opened the door. “Uh- Ian-“ Her voice was quiet, she smelt the cigarettes and got a bit nervous. She had been around them most of her life, but she didn’t like the smell, and hadn’t really gotten used to them yet. “Someone sent you a letter.. His name’s Mickey?” She said, quickly handing him the envelope, she had a few more pieces of mail in her arms, but he assumed those weren’t for him.

He raised his eyebrows at the name, he recognized it. Though it wasn’t his full name, for whatever reason, he wasn’t sure what name Mickey preferred, it sounded similar enough, and he didn’t know who else would be writing to him. “Thanks Debs.” He said, looking down at the envelope. He noticed the handwriting seemed somewhat messy, but he didn’t mind. With his family, he could probably read someone’s handwriting if it just looked like a three-year-olds scribbles. Honestly, Carl’s handwriting probably did look like a three-year-old scribbled all over the paper.

Once Debbie left the room, Lip smirked and took the envelope from his brother's hand. He thought it was a perfect opportunity to tease him more. “So who’s Mickey?~ And why’s he writing you letters..?~” He asked, noticing the handwriting. He was pretty good at reading any sort of handwriting as well.

Ian blushed slightly, though he didn’t really know Mickey at all, his brother just knew how to embarrass him. “He’s just a penpal- Some stupid school assignment..” He mumbled, quickly taking the envelope back and shoving it under his pillow. He’d read it later, if he remembered it.

After they finished with the cig, neither of them wanted another one, so Lip suggested they took a walk to the bridge. They probably shouldn’t stay inside all weekend anyways, though neither of them cared all that much. It wasn’t like they had anywhere else to go, besides Lip if he decided to go fuck Karen.

Sure, Ian had his job, but he didn’t work on weekends. He used the excuse that weekends were for being lazy, but in all honesty he was mostly just avoiding Kash. He didn’t need to deal with whatever was going on with their situation on the weekends too. He knew their relationship wasn’t great from the start, but it had become worse, and when Linda caught them the entire thing became too awkward. He would’ve wanted to quit the job all together, but their family needed the money and he didn’t think he’d be able to find another job.

By the time they got back home, Ian had completely forgotten about the letter. They had a “family dinner”, which was mostly them each eating different things because no one liked cooking for the whole family and discussing bills and how much more money they needed for the “squirrel fund”. Ian threw in 10 bucks he’d found in one of the books he hadn’t read in years, he had no clue what he had been saving it for, but he probably didn’t need it now. Then they stayed up later than was probably healthy for the younger kids watching a movie they borrowed from V and Kevin, that was rated R. And finally, at around 11:30 pm, they started getting ready for bed. Ian did his usual routine to get ready for bed, worked out a little to get the rest of his energy out, and got in his twin bed.

He wasn’t able to fall asleep just yet though, since Carl was talking about graphic horror movies like he was the killer, and Liam was playing around with his annoying squeaking stuffed animal. No one really knew where he got it, but Ian guessed it was a dog toy he found at the park and no one noticed him bringing it home. The only bad part about it, in Ian’s opinion, was how fucking loud the thing was. He was glad Liam had a toy he really liked, they couldn’t really afford to get him anything new. All the money they had for him was used for diapers and sometimes food the little guy would actually eat, if they had enough left. Diapers didn’t come cheap, and boy did Liam go through them quickly.

~~~

By the time Ian had remembered his penpal had sent him a letter, he already had the next one. He had offered to get the mail for Debbie. She usually always did it, she liked taking walks and she needed to help around the house, but she had stayed up all night studying for a test she’d probably pass anyways, and Ian felt bad. His eyes widened when he saw the envelope with his name on it, and recognized the handwriting from the last letter he completely forgot existed. He felt somewhat bad, he had completely ignored the first letter. He shouldn’t feel bad, it was just a stranger who was being forced to write to him, but the fact that he’d gotten two letters from this guy and he still hadn’t responded to either of them made him feel guilty.

He walked home a little faster than he normally would, thinking about what he should write back. He didn’t want to seem like an asshole, and bring it up like a casual thing or something he didn’t give a shit about, but he also didn’t want to embarrass himself by filling up an entire piece of paper with apologies.

He was halfway through writing his letter when Fiona walked in the room. “You have work in 10 minutes! What’s so-“ She looked down at the pencil and paper, wondering if it was for school or something else. Though she didn’t care all that much, he still needed to get to work, he couldn’t risk getting fired. “Get ready, you can work on whatever you’re doing later!” She said before walking back out of the room. She had her own work to get to, she didn’t need to worry about Ian not getting to work and miss her shift too.

He folded the paper quickly and tossed it onto his bed, they were just strangers. Mickey shouldn’t care if the letter was late, hopefully. He got back a little later than normal, Kash wanted to “talk” to him and he ended up staying an extra 15 minutes or so. He got back home tired, but decided he should finish the letter, or at least attempt to.

‘Dear Mickey,

I don’t exactly know what I should call you, but you called yourself Mickey, so I’m assuming that’s alright, though I like calling you Mick too. I’m used to assholes, my family is filled with assholes, so who knows, I might like her. What about your older brothers though? You didn’t really say anything about them.

My family’s a shit show, I have one older brother and one older sister, and then two little brothers and one little sister. The house is so fucking loud most of the time, hell even at night. The only kids who get their own room are Debbie, my little sister, and Fiona, since she’s the oldest. Debbie is probably the sweetest out of all of us, but with our family history you can’t really be sure she’ll stay like that.

Oh and I just mentioned the redhead thing because I thought it was cool. Maybe it isn’t to you, but I’m the only redhead I know besides Debbie.

Sincerely,
Ian G.’

He didn’t want to write too much, but he zoned out and didn’t want to spend anymore time rewriting it. So he instead just folded it and put it into another envelope, not bothering to write anything on it yet. He’d do that in the morning and then send it on the way to school or whatever else would be more convenient when the time came.

Chapter Text

It had been over a week since Mickey sent the second letter, and he still hadn’t gotten a response to either. He knew he probably shouldn’t be annoyed by this, he didn’t give a shit about school, ever, but Ian seemed so excited to talk to him at first and then he was the one who hadn’t sent another letter. Maybe Mickey was a bit embarrassed too, he wasn’t usually the kind of person who put effort into any of his assignments. He should probably forget about it and move on until he gets another letter or the assignment is over, but for some reason he didn’t want to. Sure, he knew plenty of people he could talk to, but Ian didn’t know shit about his or his family’s past. He would’ve thought that meant he wouldn’t avoid talking to Mickey like everyone else, but apparently he didn’t want to talk to Mickey anyways.

He was laying on his bed thinking about Ian, the stupid asshole who thought he could ignore Mickey. He had thought about sending another letter, but that would make him seem weird and desperate, so he decided to just wait and see what happened. His dad walked through the door casually, even though Mickey kept it closed he somehow still decided to barge in randomly at the worst moments. He didn’t say anything just yet, going to Mickey’s closet and grabbing a shirt, muttering something about not having anything to wear for a drug run.

He then looked over at Mickey. “The fuck are you doing just laying around? You said you had something to do when I asked if you wanted to go on the run with us. You’re ‘busy’ just laying in bed?! You do jack shit for this family!” He yelled, angry at his son. He did struggle with his anger a lot, which was another reason Mickey hated talking about his father. Well besides the whole fact that his father was a convicted felon that managed to get himself thrown into prison way too often. You think he’d have learned to be more careful, but he didn’t give a shit. Thankfully, well not in Mickey’s opinion, he preferred when he didn’t have to deal with his father’s bullshit, but they had an amazing lawyer. So his father never stayed in prison long enough.

“Whatever, not like you really need me. You rarely offer anyways, Terry.” He replied, he was used to his fathers anger, even if he still didn’t like it. He had grown up with it, his entire life his father was almost always either screaming at him, drunk, starting a fight, or stealing something from the family he thought he could pawn. If they ever got christmas presents, Terry would almost always steal them and sell them before the kids even got the chance to use them. In Mickey’s opinion Terry should’ve never had kids, he probably shouldn’t even be allowed around kids.

“Whatever, we need extra hands, change and come downstairs. Don’t make us late.” Terry said, walking back out of the room while putting on the shirt he took.

Mickey never liked the drug runs, they took too long and we’re both exhausting and adrenaline inducing. Though that was probably because some dipshit, usually his brothers, decided to be stupid and do something either illegal or attention grabbing, and then they had to run from the cops.

Though maybe it’d give him a break, he wouldn’t have time to think about the bullshit with the letters. If Ian wasn’t gonna care about it, neither should he. He sighed and got up, getting a black t-shirt and some jeans, quickly changing before going down the stairs.

~~~

It had been two weeks, and they were still on the drug run. He hadn’t expected it to take this long, but it wasn’t like he went on drug runs with his family much anymore. Though it was doing what Mickey had hoped it would, it was keeping his mind off the stupid penpal thing. It wasn’t like he was really able to sneak off to send another letter without his asshole dad catching him, and he hadn’t memorized Ian’s address yet, so he couldn't even try to send anything.

His brother Iggy called him to the van, he sighed and got in. He didn’t know what stupid shit Iggy wanted, but he didn’t want to deal with it right now. He wasn’t in the mood. Mickey sat down on one of the benches in the back.

“What do you want?” He asked, making Iggy laugh for whatever reason. Sometimes his brother just liked being a dickhead.

“I stole some from our last pit stop. You want it?” Iggy asked, grabbing a beer and holding it out to Mickey. He rolled his eyes and grabbed it, easily taking the cap off.

“You always steal the bad shit. You don’t like this one either!” Mickey said, though he was mostly just teasing. It wasn’t the best, but neither of them really cared. It wasn’t like they could really afford better if they had paid, but when they got the chance to steal any Iggy usually always got the shitty stuff. Though he had kind of gotten used to the taste, it reminded him of home. Well “home” wasn’t a great place for him, or a place he really liked, but he’d lived there forever so it was familiar to him.

~~~

Ian had sent his letter the morning after he had written it, but Mickey being the idiot he was, just assumed Mandy got the mail and hadn’t found any letters for him. He was wrong, Mandy hadn’t been getting the mail for a bit now, since they weren’t waiting for anything important. But he hated getting the mail himself, and didn’t even know where the keys to the mailbox were.

Ian had been waiting for pretty much three weeks now and nothing, not a single response, not even a quick letter. He had already felt bad enough for forgetting to respond, and now he wasn’t getting any response back. He had hoped at first Mickey had just forgotten too, but now it seemed more like he was trying to ignore him.

He went through his days normally, but he seemed a bit out of it. He was distracted, zoned out a lot, and didn’t talk as much. His friends and family all noticed, but he never gave them a straight answer when they asked what was up. It was embarrassing and frankly he probably wouldn’t have talked about it if it was a friend he’d known for a while who had “ghosted” him completely.

Ian debated sending another letter. He thought maybe he just needed to show Mick he was actually interested in talking, but he decided against it, he didn’t want to annoy him. It started keeping him awake at night too, just laying there wondering if something he did or said was bad.

Two weeks, then three, then four, and he still hadn’t heard shit. He wondered if Mickey forgot about him, or maybe he just got sick of the assignment, but either way it was getting on his nerves. He didn’t want to be mad at Mickey, after all he assumed it was his own fault, but it was just annoying. He’d thought a penpal would be nice, a new friend he could get to know better, but it was just turning out to be an assignment his penpal apparently didn’t care about at all.

Ian had even started slacking off in ROTC training. Though he still cared about it, and did his best, he kept getting distracted. Eventually the trainer had to tell him to just go home and come back when he’d be able to focus, and so he reluctantly made his way home half an hour early. Fiona asked why he was back so early, but he ignored her, he was upset he got sent home because he was just distracted. It wasn’t like it was his fault, he could probably focus if he tried hard enough.

Another week passed, and another, and he still hadn’t gotten any news. Mickey had been doing his best to keep himself busy. He felt a bit worried, Mickey just stopped responding all together, no notice. He wondered if something bad happened, maybe something with Mickey’s family, but then again not everyone’s family was as fucked up as Ian’s, so he probably shouldn’t just guess. He just hoped he’d get a response soon, it was annoying worrying about something he might never get the answer to.

After another shitty day at school, he was looking to just relax with his family before work, they all got beers, well the ones that drank, and sat down at the TV. Even Jimmy, the weird rich guy Fiona was seeing, was there. Debbie wasn’t, but she could take care of herself, so they weren’t too worried. They were about to start the show, when Debbie opened the front door, looking either terrified or shocked, maybe both.

The family started asking her what happened, well more what Frank did. It was almost always Frank when something bad happened. Frank drank too much and broke the TV, Frank took too many pills and someone needed to drive him to the hospital, Frank went to jail, Frank did this, Frank did that, etc., the list just went on. Debbie shook her head, with a somewhat sad look on her face. “Why do you always assume it’s something Frank did?” She asked, as a kid, she still didn’t fully understand why they hated him as much as they did.

Fiona laughed and made a joke. “It’s because he’s always the one causing problems. Who else could it be?” She asked. She probably should be worried about Frank, if he was a normal father, but that guy had beat death so many times it wasn’t likely this would be the time he kicked the bucket.

“She’s there.. She’s at Shelia’s house…” She told them, her voice quiet.

“Who’s there Debs?” Fiona asked, suddenly a bit more serious. She didn’t know who Debbie was talking about, but they didn’t sound good.”

“Monica…” Debbie said, looking down at the floor. Suddenly, the entire room’s mood changed, some people were confused, they didn’t know who Monica was, others were anxious, annoyed, or slightly scared.

“Who’s Monica?” Kevin asked, the Gallaghers never liked talking about their family, or most of them didn’t.

“Our mother.” Lip was the first one to answer. He was the second oldest, and one of the kids who remembered Monica the most. She had left years ago, most of them thought they wouldn’t have to deal with her again, but apparently she was back.

Everything went silent after that, until Ian finally spoke up. He couldn’t deal with this shit, not right now. He did remember his mother, and all the bullshit she had done to them, and he didn’t want to see her. Not now and not ever. He stood up quickly. “I’m going to work.” He said before rushing out. Fiona tried to tell him to wait, but he was already gone.

He was early to work, and he didn’t look the best, but he didn’t give a shit. He didn’t want to be home, where Monica could go, he didn’t want to be at Shelia’s house, where Monica was, and he didn’t have anywhere else to go. The only person who he might be able to go to, was Karen, but only because she was fucking his brother, and Karen was Shelia’s daughter, so that would just take him right back to Monica. He wiped the few tears that were left on his face before walking in, hoping Linda or Kash wouldn’t ask him about what happened. He did want to tell someone, but he couldn’t bring himself to talk about it.

Kash looked at him weird as he clocked in but thankfully didn’t say anything. Ian then grabbed a box of pringles and started shelving things. He felt a bit sick, but didn’t feel like he’d throw up or anything.

Ian got home a bit later than normal, he had taken a longer walk home since he didn’t want to deal with his family. He rushed into his room once he got home, ignoring everyone else, and since no one was in the room, he closed the door behind him. He wanted to be alone. Eventually he decided he should talk to someone about it, even if they probably wouldn’t answer him, that would probably be better. He sat down at the desk he shared and started writing another letter to Mickey. Whether he decided to respond or not, Ian still needed to tell someone, and Mickey didn’t know him in real life, so if he wanted to he could just completely avoid talking about what he said.

‘Dear Mickey,

I’m not sure if you’re mad at me, if something just came up, or if you just don’t want to continue the assignment anymore, but I still need someone to talk to, and you’re available. My mom’s back, she’s been gone for a while, and we all thought she was gone for good, but now she’s here to mess things up again and then randomly leave us to fix it. She was always running off on us for drugs, alcohol, or some other shit, even when I was just a little kid. She probably isn’t taking her meds again either. Honestly we’d be better off if Fiona was our mom, she’s always taken care of us anyways. I know I probably shouldn’t be telling a stranger any of this, but it isn’t like I have anyone else to tell. I hope you aren’t pissed at me or anything.

Thanks for “listening”, if you did read this,
Ian G.’

He wrote out, he was tearing up slightly as he wrote about his mother, but he quickly wiped all his tears away. He didn’t want to get the paper wet. Once he had finished, and signed his name he folded up the paper and put it in one of the envelopes he had also ‘borrowed’ from school. He quickly wrote down Mickey’s name and address then put a stamp.

Usually he’d wait to send it until it was convenient, but taking another walk wouldn’t be bad for him. Especially not when he needed to distract himself anyways. He stood up and put his letter in his back pocket. He quickly went back outside, taking the longer route to the mailbox. Once he made it, he debated putting the letter in for a minute or two before he accidentally put it in all the way and couldn’t take it back. He sighed and kicked a rock into someone's fence out of frustration before deciding to head back.