Chapter Text
Things, overall, were going so well. It seemed to Virgil that Remus was several times more tolerable now. He didn’t even mind the flirting and PDA as much when Remus and Logan asked him to stick around. Ever since Roman had predicted it, Virgil had secretly hoped Remus and Logan would be interested in some sort of poly trio relationship. At the very least he was a lot more inclined to spend time with the couple.
“Hey, Emo, is Logan around?”
Virgil looked up from his perch on the kitchen counter, “Um, pretty sure he’s in class. What’s up?”
Remus glanced around the living room anyway before sliding into the kitchen and opening the silverware drawer, “Good. I wanted to talk to you.”
“Rem, you can’t just suddenly appear and say that to someone with anxiety,” Virgil hissed out a long breath, trying to focus his mind on what Remus was actually saying and not the possibilities throwing themselves like darts at his brain, most aiming for the button to start a panic attack.
“Oh don’t worry. It’s nothing bad,” Remus grinned and rummaged around the drawer, “Things are pretty good, right?”
“I mean I guess,” Virgil shrugged, sliding off the counter and grabbing a banana from the counter. He watched as Remus inspected half a dozen forks, rejecting most of them until one caught his fancy and he held it up in triumph.
“Good, because I have something really important to ask you and it’s gonna be really awkward if things aren’t good,” Remus waved the fork around as he spoke, moving to another drawer and grabbing duct tape, rubber bands, tacks, and a dead battery.
“The suspense is killing me, Rem,” Virgil kept his face an easy mask but internally started to narrow down on the one possibility he was hoping would come up soon. He and Remus had gotten along fantastically since Roman’s breakup. Logan had even acted like he remembered him and things were nearly back to how they’d been before they’d met the Crowne siblings. Virgil was starting to wonder if Logan or Remus would ever actually ask him out- knowing how impossible it was for him to even consider asking either of them.
Virgil watched Remus expectantly, noting the silver emerald necklace Logan had given him swinging from his neck, as the man stuffed his pocket with the debris from the kitchen, “alright so… I need to know… would you like to…. Help me plan my proposal?”
“What?” Virgil asked smartly.
“I wanna marry the nerd. You probably know him better than I do because you’ve known him so long. Only makes sense to get your help,” Remus replied, looking through the photos they kept on the fridge before opening it to rummage through. Over time he’d crept into some of the ones Logan would add and it seemed only now Virgil realized how few he’d remained in. It seemed telling of his inevitable replacement in Logan’s life.
Virgil gulped, “oh. Um… well you two kinda connected on the stars thing right? He’s.. your… starshine… so it’s gotta be at night- I can’t.” Growing more choked with each word, Virgil shook his head violently and stormed out of the kitchen.
“At night is good- where are you going? Virgil, c’mon! I need your help!” Remus called after him, waving a leftover hotdog in one hand and hesitating to take steps to follow. He’d been pushed and yelled at and once even an attempted drop kick out of Virgil’s room enough to not enter quite so lightly again, “Why won’t you help me?”
Virgil turned quickly at the threshold to his room, “You don’t need me! You were only ever going to replace me so why the fuck would I make that easier?” Remus stared bewildered at him and reached for his necklace to steady himself. The green glint from that costume jewelry mocked Virgil. Of course, Remus wasn’t asking him out. Why would he ever do that?
“Replace you? Lightning- who would I replace you with? You’re one of a kind,” Remus tried to placate him.
“You’re the replacement! Why would Logan ever need two edgy weirdos in his life? Leave me alone- you’ve won!” Virgil sniffed hard and slammed the door after him as he darted into his room and fell into his safety corner. He always found his way here during anxiety and panic attacks or during particularly distressing movies. Trembling with rage and fear, he sunk into the favorite bean bag.
Remus huffed and against his better judgement followed Virgil, banging a fist against the closed door, “You’re in your head again, Virge! I’m not trying to get rid of you!”
“Would you tell me if you were?” Virgil muttered to himself just loudly to be heard through the door, groping for his emergency MP3 player and noise-canceling headphones.
“I just want to make this as special as possible for him- for all of us- and I need you involved to do that! Don’t you know how much your sorry ass means to Lo? How much you could have meant to me by now? You’re always sabotaging yourself, you dumb prick!” Remus snapped, yelling through the door.
"Leave me alone to pack!" Virgil snapped back, "don't want to draw it out when you kick me out!"
Remus growled and hit the door again, "I'm gonna ask him with or without you, Virgil. I wanted you to be part of this but I'm not going to let you ruin it with a fucking tantrum. I have tried to be nice because I like you. What am I doing wrong?"
“Everything! You can’t possibly love Logan the way I do!” Virgil shouted back, pulling the headphones on around his neck and fumbling with the MP3 player. He could just barely make out the sounds of Remus stomping down the hallway and slamming the front door on his way out. Good Riddance if he never came back. Once Virgil was sure that Remus wasn’t returning immediately, he slunk back out to lock the door after him, not needing added stress on top of trying to plot how to not be abandoned. There had to be something he could tell Logan to make him send Remus packing, right?
Virgil spent the rest of that afternoon planning what to say when Logan got home from school and imagining every possible way it could go right or wrong. He paced the living room and hallway relentlessly and constantly checked the time, waiting for Logan to get home.
Just as it occurred to Virgil that Logan should have been back by now, his phone chimed and caused him to jump nearly out of his skin. Virgil stared at the screen, not quite believing what he was seeing. A text from Logan, who had only ever called him before when they needed to talk. Virgil filled with apprehension, burning up with curiosity to open the text but also certain that the fact it was a text spelled doom. The curiosity eventually won out and Virgil opened the unprecedented message.
Logan: I am sorry but I need to cancel our dinner plans. Remus and I are going on a midnight picnic at the nature reserve tonight. I will see you tomorrow. -L.A.
The bastard had gotten to Logan first.
Virgil stood trembling in the middle of the living room. This was wrong. Everything was falling to pieces and he was going to lose Logan. They were supposed to always have each other’s backs. They were supposed to be friends- be together- through everything. They’d survived high school and college and Logan knew how to live with him and not be a terrible roommate. Logan used to be his best friend. Was it all for nothing? Virgil’s breath quickened and he staggered once, kneeling to the ground. Remus was going to ask Logan tonight. That much was so clear. Remus was going to ask Logan to leave Virgil behind tonight. Why would a married couple want a third wheel roommate? They wouldn’t. Remus was nice to Virgil ever since they met because he knew if Virgil raised any concerns to Logan, Logan would have left the relationship. He knew he had to distract Virgil with his sibling just to get close- had he always been this coldly calculated? Virgil dug his fingers into the carpet, desperately wanting to be wrong. In his mind’s eye, Remus loomed sinister and all-encompassing above Virgil, nails and teeth sharp. The vision laughed and lashed at Virgil’s chest, coming away dripping navy ichor. He’d seemed so nice. He said Virgil meant the world to Logan. He-
He wasn’t one to lie.
Virgil gasped and forced himself to take deep breaths. He rubbed the carpet and blared his music loud enough to hear through the headphones without wearing them properly. Once he could breathe steadily he followed a pattern, breathing mostly in time with the music. Still not calm, he forced himself to run through a grounding exercise until he was no longer fixated on daydreamed nightmares. He made himself repeat out loud, “Remus is not the monster here,” with an understood refrain that if it wasn’t Remus and it wasn’t Logan it had to be him.
Virgil collected himself enough to sit with his back to the couch. He reread the text over and over. He should be happy for his best friend knowing what was coming. He should want to help Remus get it right- how many times had he seen one of Logan’s rare genuine smiles over some silly joke or small gesture. He wanted Logan to be happy, right?
Right?
Nearly everything was perfect. Remus had spent the better part of the afternoon setting up after Virgil had decided to be a boob and yell at him. He wasn’t quite certain how to bring that up with Logan, and if things went well tonight he wouldn’t have to even think about it. Remus finished setting up the trigger for his Rube Goldberg improvised device and started setting out the picnic. Ideally, Virgil could have helped watch over the setup while he picked Logan up, but some things were better left to fate. Everything would be fine as long as no one stumbled through the chain or accidentally triggered it.
Remus glanced at his phone, shocked at the lateness. The sun had set hours ago but he couldn’t believe it was nearly midnight already. Glancing around for anyone, he left the ring in place on the tree branch drawn back just so, the final piece of the chain reaction, and left to go meet Logan in the parking lot, jogging to not keep his man waiting.
Remus was so focused on making his way back to the parking lot that he missed the light flashing along the edge of the woods, casting sweeping arcs along the ground.
Remus stopped at the edge of the dark lot, scanning each of the cars for Logan’s, and not seeing it he checked his phone again for the time. Logan was never late and had maybe three minutes to maintain that reputation. Remus exhaled the breath he'd accidentally started holding and leaned against a post, watching for headlights. It wasn’t a minute until the trees were lit from behind and Remus stood up straighter to greet his boyfriend. He could barely stand still for all the energy threatening to shake him to pieces.
“Starshine!” Remus exclaimed as Logan parked and walked over.
“Duke,” Logan replied almost formally, “I brought hot chocolate to share. In case the temperature drops below comfortable.”
“Oh, look at you being sweet and practical,” Remus grinned and wrapped an arm around Logan’s shoulder, “Come on, I have everything else all set up for us. And if the chocolate gets cold, I know exactly how to keep you warm.”
“So what prompted such a late date?” Logan asked casually. Remus internally breathed a sigh of relief. Virgil couldn’t have ruined the surprise because an actor Logan was not.
“Well, I didn’t see you today so I wanted to see you tonight. What better time to see all my favorite stars, Astra?”
“Ah. Well, stargazing is still a favorite- if overlooked- hobby. Thank you so much, Duke,” Logan smiled, leaning into Remus as they walked.
“Oh stop. Don’t thank me yet,” Remus smiled to himself, itching to reveal the surprise as soon as possible. He led Logan down the trail to the meadow where he’d set up and got so involved in their conversation that he didn’t see it until Logan pointed it out.
“Wait, who’s that, Rem?”
Remus looked up sharply at the dark figure poking around his picnic set up with a phone flashlight. With an angry bellow he charged the startled person, knocking them down to the ground and pinning them there. Breathing hard he stared at the body whimpering beneath him until he recognized him with a jolt.
“Virgil? Are you shitting me right now?”
“Oh my god, get off- you’re crushing me!”
“So throwing a tantrum and hiding in your room wasn’t enough for you? You had to come to ruin this for me too?” Remus snarled, glancing over at the picnic to make sure everything was still in place. Logan walked over cautiously.
“Remus, get off! You don’t understand-” Remus cut Virgil off with a hand over his mouth, listening closely. The wind blew softly through the leaves but the sounds of twigs snapping and branches whipping hard made Remus look back at the setup and realize they had bumped the skateboard and triggered the Rube-Goldberg in the fall.
Remus looked up for the near-invisible projectile hurtling from out of the trees only to be knocked off Virgil by the impact just above his eye. He caught the hurled ring and tossed it on the blanket as he clutched his face and howled in pain. This was definitely not the plan.
“FUCK! MY EYE! FUCK YOU, VIRGIL!”
“Remus, what was that-?” Logan asked near frantically, looking down and finding the ring on the blanket. Alarmed more by the apparent density of the projectile he dropped to his knees to examine his boyfriend.
“Oh my god- what just happened?” Virgil sat up slowly, terrified of more invisible bullets.
“My eeeeyyyeeeee. You just had to shoot me in the eye with my own damn-,” Remus resisted Logan’s attempts to help before finally giving in to gentle hands pulling his hand from his eye.
Logan breathed a sigh of relief at the lack of blood and the bruise forming just above Remus’s eye, “oh thank the heavens it didn’t get your eye. You could have been blinded. Where did a ring come from out of the woods?”
Virgil brought his phone light over then grabbed ice from the cooler on the edge of the blanket as well as a plastic bag of cookies, “I… might know about that… Remus ah-” Virgil stopped, not wanting to spill the surprise and ruin it more than he had already. “Rem, I came to apologize and help if I still could. I’m- sorry…”
Logan dumped the cookies out and let Virgil fill the bag with ice, turning back to Remus to attend to the wound, “sweetheart, can you please tell me?”
Remus bit back a disappointed sob of pain and failure before answering, “I was…. Trying to catch a ‘shooting star’ to propose to you with. I had it timed out so I could set off the machine and catch it.”
Logan gasped and looked down at the ring in his hand, “oh… of course I will.. If you’re still going to ask. But, more importantly, should we get you to a hospital?”
Virgil shrunk away from the couple. Even when he was trying to fix things he managed to ruin them further. Remus would never forgive him for single-handedly injuring him and wrecking the whole romantic surprise.
Remus sat holding the ice to his face, “n-no. I’m fine- promise I’m fine. Where- where’s Virgil?”
Virgil froze in place, “uh... Right here… I’m sorry…”
Remus shook his head very gently, “are you okay? I wouldn’t have knocked ya to the ground if I knew it was you.”
“What? Yeah. No, I’m fine. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Remus sighed, “I… was actually prepared for this possibility,” having said that he put down the ice and shifted to pull a glittery green and black eyepatch from his back pocket, tying it on quickly.
Logan had to stop himself from physically facepalming, “Remus, you are a wonder.”
“I know, right?” Remus chuckled, moving to lay down on the blanket, “come on you two. Before this picnic goes to waste.”
“Wait, both of us?” Virgil asked incredulously.
“Yeah, I wanted you both here in the first place, right?”
“You wanted Virgil here?” Logan looked a bit perplexed as he laid down next to Remus, grabbing the cookies dumped out on the blanket.
“Yeah, if he’d just agreed to help in the first place I would have had him hide in the woods and throw the ring at me at a much less lethal speed,” Remus yawned, “Virgil get your ass in the cuddle pile.”
“Why? Aren’t you proposing to him? Why are you still trying to flirt with me?” Virgil stared at the couple, “I just ruined that proposal- why are you still-?”
“Because we both like you, Virgil,” Logan answered softly, “I’ve always loved you. You just never seemed to notice.”
“The nerd is right. I wanted you here so that you’d have this memory with us too. So you wouldn’t feel left out by the time you came around to not hating me,” Remus offered, holding out a hand to Virgil, “are you in or what?”
Virgil sat there reevaluating the last year, every tally he’d made when he’d declined invitations to join the pair, every little flirt and intimation that they did actually want him around. He sat there and realized it wasn’t a joke. It wasn’t a prank or pity or devious plan. Most upsetting and relieving of all was the realization that Logan never actually stopped caring about him, despite his stubborn refusal to face the facts.
Slowly, Virgil slid over and sat next to Remus. He took the man’s hand and whispered, “I am so sorry for everything…”
Before Virgil could apologize more, Remus had pulled him down in between him and Logan, “apologies later. Stars now, Lightning.”
And watch the stars they did, long into the night. Once they’d all settled, Remus had Virgil film while he got up on one knee and proposed more traditionally.
“Logan, I have been captivated with you since the day we met. You are funny, intelligent, so incredibly brave, and sexy as hell. Simply put, I think you’re the best. And I want to love you the way the lonely love the stars and I want to do that for the rest of our lives. So, with this shooting star-” he paused, and Virgil, grinning from ear to ear, tossed him the ring “- I want to ask you for the rest of your life, for the privilege of marrying you. Will you marry me, Logan Astra?”
Logan knelt down next to Remus and wrapped him in a tight hug, “Yes, yes I will!”
Virgil kept filming the two, surreptitiously wiping tears from his cheeks. He watched as Logan whispered to Remus. Remus nodded enthusiastically and Logan pulled back from the hug, turning instead to Virgil.
“Virgil, it seems only fitting that I finally say this,” Logan chuckled, “I’ve wanted to for a very long time.”
“How long?” Virgil asked, stopping the recording and setting down the phone.
“Since 8th grade at least,” Logan shook his head and grabbed Virgil’s hands in his, “Virgil, I’m gay.”
Virgil snickered hard, “I would have never guessed that by the way you just got engaged to a man.”
Logan laughed, “I’m gay, and I love you. I have for a long time. Will you finally be my boyfriend?”
Virgil couldn’t hide the happy tears streaming down his cheeks this time as he nodded and wrapped Logan in a hug, never wanting to let the man go again. Remus hollered in celebration and soon tackled the both of them to the blanket in a bear hug.
As far as Logan was concerned, waking up on a blanket outside at sunrise was worth it when it meant waking up next to both his fiance and boyfriend.
Epilogue- I Found
“Okay, but just think. Hypothetically, we can just pop in, take a look, pretend to cry. No one is even gonna know!”
Logan sighed deeply, “where do I even start? Duke, you know we can’t do that.”
“Oh lighten up, L. It’s hypothetical. Like Rem said. We just pretend to be friends of some second cousin and no one will even question why we’re there.” Virgil smirked, finishing setting the dinner table after taking all afternoon to complain about it.
“We are not crashing someone’s calling hours! Do you two have any respect for the dead? Or the grieving? Why are we even- they’re going to be here any minute for dinner and this is the only entertainment you two could think of?” Logan stared exasperated at his partners.
“Oh c’mon, Lolo. We’ll put the fun back in the funeral! Ro will be down with it and I’m sure their partner will at least be intrigued.”
“Common sense says you don’t crash a funeral to look at a corpse. And etymologically, that makes no sense either. ‘Fun’ was never a root of ‘funeral’.” Logan looked as though a vein were about to explode, “Funeral comes from the Latin root ‘funus’ meaning death, whereas ‘fun’ is derived from the Middle English word ‘fon’ which translates to ‘fool’ as in my fiance and my boyfriend are both fools!”
Virgil snickered hard and walked over to pat Logan on the shoulder just as the doorbell rang, “relax, babe. It’s just hypothetical. No one has died yet.”
“Yet? Don’t say it like it’s a promise, sweetheart,” Remus called after him as Virgil passed Logan to answer the door.
On the other side, Roman stood there beaming while their partner glanced up from its phone, mildly interested, “heya Virgil! Hope we’re not late.”
“You’re right on time. Logan was just explaining etymologies.”
“Oh, joy, bugs-” Roman tsked as their partner exclaimed sarcastically.
“Don’t mind it. Remy’s just grumpy I asked it to be up earlier than normal for dinner,” Roman chuckled as Virgil ushered them in.
Remus looked up excitedly, “SIBLING!”
“Brother,” Roman answered distractedly, leading Remy inside, “I don’t think you all have met Remy yet?”
“I thought the purpose of this dinner was to meet your date, Roman,” Logan replied.
“And to officially finally celebrate the engagement,” Virgil added. Remus giggled and worked on the last touches to their meal.
“Yes, yes. Congrats you three,” Roman beamed, “I called it.”
“That you did,” Remus nodded.
“Well, it is nice to meet you, Remy,” Logan smiled at it, “I trust they’ve treated you well?”
“Yeah. They’re cool or whatevs,” Remy smiled just a bit. “Definitely not used to a partner who gets no-romance dating. I appreciate that about you, babe.”
Roman blushed at that, “we’ve had our share of downs, but yes Remy has been wonderful. I’m very glad I met it.”
“Right back atcha, babes. Food ready yet? I am famished,” Remy groaned, just as soon as the oven timer beeped.
“It would seem your timing is impeccable,” Logan smiled and corralled everyone toward the dining room while Remus rushed to grab the food out of the oven. What followed was a flurry of serving and musical chairs until everyone was happy with the seating arrangement.
"Okay, bro, no one ever told me how much of a drag planning a wedding is," Remus remarked through a mouthful of food, "I can't believe we're gonna have to do all of this again too."
Virgil snorted, "well that's presumptive. Who says I want to marry either of you?"
Remy chuckled, "overrated, am I right, Virgil?"
"I just don't want to jump into something like that so quickly," Virgil shook his head.
"That and the law currently hasn't caught up with polyamory. Currently, it would be illegal for all of us to get legally married. If we wanted to have a separate commitment ceremony with Virgil that would be one thing-" Logan interjected, calmly encouraging Remus to put the mashed potatoes catapult away before he could shoot it at Roman.
Roman huffed, "well then the law needs to catch the fuck up, I want to be invited to both of my brother's weddings."
"Who said you're invited to this one?" Remus needled them with a troublemaking grin.
"Oh, I better be!"
"Calm down, babes," Remy laid its hand softly on Roman's shoulder.
"But I have to be!" Roman whined.
"Logan, convince your fiance to ask them to be his best... person. That way you two can stop fighting over me," Virgil laughed as Roman took even greater offense at not being the first choice for that.
Dinner continued like that with drinks and a few board games afterward. The chaos and the warmth finally felt like home. Like family.