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English
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Published:
2021-09-08
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1,550
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1/1
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you are alive.

Summary:

Julie’s fingers still as she says, “Your hair’s getting longer. We should trim it.”

Luke doesn’t think ghosts’ hair can grow, but it’s not a big deal, so he doesn’t bother asking Willie about it.

 

or, the boys come back to life slowly

Notes:

based on a quote from the Penumbra podcast

we ignore caleb possessing nick for fic reasons in this household

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It happens slowly.

The hug was the first indication. The fact that Julie can touch them, it means something .

They don’t know what exactly, but Luke’s excited to find out. Together.

~~~

Two weeks later, Reggie scares Ray by poofing into the kitchen. Ray yells and drops the towels he was putting away. 

Conversations are had, and apologies given and accepted, and new rules put into place. 

Luke loves it.

He’s always chafed under rules, but Ray is different than his parents ever were. And as much as he wishes he could convince Julie to break a couple of them (he misses her when she’s at school, okay?) he respects her and her family enough to abide by the rules.

~~~

All’s normal for the next month, until Flynn gives Alex a high-five without thinking. Luke points it out: they’ve never been able to touch lifers other than Julie before. Reggie tests the theory immediately by scooping Flynn into a swirling hug, and she laughs while begging to be let down. 

Being able to touch other lifers means hugs from Carlos, lots of playful punches from Flynn, and loving pats on the shoulder from Ray. It takes a while to get used to, but Luke’s always been a physical touch kind of person: he feels loved when someone slings an arm around him. All three boys are just grateful for the chance to interact even more with Julie’s family and friend.

~~~

Five days later, Luke is laying on the couch with his head in Julie’s lap. Their weekly songwriting session tends to end with them curled up together, and Luke cannot complain. It’s one of his favorite ways to spend time with Julie that doesn’t involve music.

She cards her fingers through his hair, and Luke can physically feel his body relaxing. One wouldn’t think being a ghost to be hard work, but sometimes Luke can’t help but think of all the things he missed out on by dying at seventeen. He never got to go swimming in the Gulf of Mexico like he always wanted; he never had the chance to see his favorite bands become legends, or play in the same concert as them.

He’s dead. None of that is going to happen anymore.

Julie’s fingers still as she says, “Your hair’s getting longer. We should trim it.”

Luke doesn’t think ghosts’ hair can grow, but it’s not a big deal, so he doesn’t bother asking Willie about it. 

~~~

Another two months go by. Julie’s nearing the end of her sophomore year of school, the band is playing lots of local gigs, and there’s been a manager or two willing to give them a shot, but nothing major has happened yet. The hologram gimmick is easier now that they can be seen all the time and interact with other lifers. The poofing in still gets everyone cheering, no matter how many times they do it.

For Julie’s birthday, they have an intimate party: just Flynn, the boys, Willie, and Tia Victoria. Tia cooks while Alex bakes (“No, we can’t eat anything, yes I am a great baker, I contain multitudes Julie” he tells her when she questions him. Luke just laughs.) and the party is a fun time for everyone. The night is winding down, so Luke grabs a cup of water to take to Julie, who is sitting on the swing in the park by herself. 

She nods gratefully, and sips the water. “I just miss her,” is all she says, and he holds her hand in silence. Sometimes there’s nothing to say that will help, so Luke’s learned to be quiet in times like this. Julie needs the presence of a loved one there, and Luke is lucky enough to be among the loved ones in her life.

Eventually Luke can tell she’s ready to go back, and holds out his hand to take her cup. She passes it over and stands up, and he joins her, twining his fingers around hers. They head back to the gazebo and their family, and without thinking Luke tips his head back and downs the little bit of water Julie left in her cup.

He feels it slide down his throat without passing through him. He stops walking, jerking Julie to a stop too.

“Julie...I just drank your water.”

She looks confused for a moment. So he repeats himself, more excitedly. “Julie, I just drank your water. I just drank something!”

Without waiting for his girl to catch up Luke breaks into a run, pulling her along. Julie’s giggling as she finally puts the pieces together. Luke brings them directly to the plate of Alex’s brownies and without stopping to think, he picks one up and takes a huge bite. The sweetness is exactly how he remembered from the countless church picnics Alex had dragged him to, and Luke lets out a small moan of delight.

“Alex, these are the best brownies you’ve ever made,” he tells his shell-shocked friend through a mouthful of deliciousness.

“We can eat!” Reggie yells, pumps his fist in the air, and dives for the birthday cake he helped Julie pick out, abandoning his game of darts with Carlos. 

Alex joins Luke at the brownies, and Tia Victoria simply shakes her head. “Teenage boys,” she huffs. 

Through it all, Julie just smiles. 

~~~

It’s the first day of summer vacation for Julie, and they’ve spent it out on the beach celebrating three months of freedom for Julie. Luke alternates between making a sandcastle with Carlos (the little man has some mad architectural skills and Luke’s always loved sandcastles) and dunking Reggie underwater as often as possible (sometimes Luke swears his friend is more fish than human). 

They stay outside all day, watching the sunset together as a family. The oranges, pinks and purples of the sky create a masterpiece and remind Luke why he named their first band Sunset Curve. The picture in the sky represents him and his friends; all unique people in their own right, but when they come together, the beauty they form cannot be described. 

Ray lets them bend the rules that night, so Julie’s given permission to spend the night on the couch with Luke. Of course this leads to much teasing at their expense, and a stern talking to by Flynn, but really, Luke’s so tired from the day he knows nothing untoward is going to happen (and wow Julie must be rubbing off on him, since when does he use the word untoward?). 

They settle into the couch, Luke laying down with Julie nearly on top of him, her head resting on his chest. They’ve never been able to sleep as ghosts, but Luke doesn't mind staying with Julie all night. He watches her drift off, fingers loosening in his as she falls asleep. He doesn’t let go, just holds her as she dreams.

Slowly, his own breathing evens out. His eyes feel heavy, and he lets them close with a yawn. Before Luke knows it, he’s asleep too.

And he dreams.

Luke finds himself standing on the stage of the Orphuem. It looks like it did the day he died: huge lights hung up around the stage, clunky old analog sound mixer in the back where Brian helped them with their sound check. 

He looks around for a while before he spots a woman walking towards him. She’s vaguely familiar, as if Luke should know who she is.

She stops in front of Luke, and he can’t stop his questions. “Where am I? Do you know what’s happening to me? How am I dreaming?”

The woman laughs, a musical sound that Luke recognizes from somewhere, but can’t place. 

“I do not have all the answers you seek. I have only a message to pass on.”

“From who?” Luke’s confused. If she’s not the one in charge, then maybe this is just a weird dream. But somehow Luke knows this is more important than any dream he’s had before.

The woman smiles softly. “I cannot tell you who. There are some mysteries that are meant to be left unsolved.”

Luke deflates a little. “Yeah, like the mystery of ghosts, apparently.”

“You want answers.” She doesn't phrase it as a question. “I know it’s hard not having them, but sometimes it’s better to simply accept the present than to wonder about the past.”

They fall into silence then. Luke doesn’t know what’s really going on. He can't sense any malevolence in this woman, but she doesn’t seem entirely human either.

Finally she speaks again. “Your night has passed. It is almost time for me to go. Before I do, here is your message.”

She pauses, then speaks clearly, almost as if she were reciting a lyric she once heard. “You are alive. This is the gift you have been given. Use it as you see fit.”

Her eyes bore into Luke’s, full of compassion and love. “Thank you, Luke, for bringing my girl back to life.”

She turns and walks away, disappearing into the mist that’s filling up the stage. Luke doesn’t have time to do anything before he’s blinking awake, staring into Julie’s eyes. She has the same color eyes as her mother did.

“Luke,” Julie whispers. Her hand presses into his chest.

“I can feel your heart beating.”

 

Notes:

(Reggie and Alex also come back to life! they had their own versions of Luke's dream and they also wake up with a heartbeat)

The bolded line is the beautiful quote from the Penumbra podcast. The context is originally about Juno Steel working through childhood trauma, and when he wakes up from this operation/dream-state, this is his only instruction. It's so amazing and I just knew I had to use it for jatp