Chapter Text
The days are going by slowly, but peacefully. More people have been attending service lately, which is bringing John a renewed vigor in his strong faith. Spring has been very warm and inspiring with trees all grown, flowers in full bloom and looking much healthier compared to last year, and it seems like the town is a lot more lively.
Yes, things are good.
…for the most part.
John doesn’t know why… but… ever since that last “coupling” he had with you, and how amazing it was… you still aren’t close to him like he wants you to be. Confusion and hurt fills him every time he thinks about it. It’s not like you have each other’s numbers, nor do you visit his apartment, or even visit the church sometime. Maybe you’re just busy?
Or…
…Do you not actually like him? Are you bored of him? Did he do something wrong? Is there… someone else?
A part of him feels disappointed in you for not being so… transparent? But another part of him knows that you’re both full grown adults with your own lives to lead and he doesn’t have a say in how you live yours. Even if it means he’s not a part of it.
Still… it would be nice to see where you stand.
This sucks. Majorly. He can’t stop thinking about the night you last saw him, after the intense sex. You were so candid, so intimate. He replays the tender moments where you took care of him, and how he had cuddled you closely to himself. In those moments, he saw you so… relaxed and gentle. So you. You had been bashful, dare he say, when he nuzzled you and kissed your cute face. In those moments, he didn’t feel nervous or shy or submissive. He just felt like himself.
He wants more of that between you both. The two of you being yourselves and being content.
—————
As he’s leaning on the balcony railing, his arm lying on it and his chin resting in his hand, he’s staring off at the scenery ahead as the sun is setting amidst the city skyline. The cool evening breeze drifts through the air, carrying the scent of fully bloomed flowers. The cigarette in his mouth is halfway burned down, but he hasn’t even really bothered to hit it so far. It’s been burning itself out.
Kind of how he feels about himself.
…he feels pathetic. It’s not fair.
The other night, he had a dream where you had taken him… in the church of all places.
The dream was definitely intense. It was the most vivid and concise dream of his entire life.
In that dream, it took place in a church, though not the one he works at. This church felt much more… holy. It was a much older but beautiful church that was simply breathtaking in design, radiating a nostalgic and bittersweet atmosphere all throughout itself.
It was night time, and he had lead service particularly late. That’s okay, because sometimes parishioners aren’t able to attend in the mornings or afternoons, so dusk or evening tends to work best for them. He’s always happy to accommodate his flock.
Normally he is very graceful and poised as he delivers his sermons. This time was… very different. He remembers feeling so giddy and nervous in that part of the dream as he stood at the beautifully designed pulpit, preaching to the audience. But he was… squirmy. His cassock felt different, though when he briefly looked down at himself, it looked the same as always.
In the crowd, he spotted you at the front pew. You looked just as amazing as always as you sat there, listening in closely with your posture poised and confident. All the other faces, of course, were just blurs.
But you… were so… amazing.
When service was over, his giddiness only increased. People were giving him goodbyes and making brief conversation with him before he left, but he paid no attention to any of it as it went by in a blur. He was just so excited to be alone with you.
And then he was.
Just you and him… you were still seated at the very front row of the pews, looking like royalty, like nothing in the world could ever bother you. John left the pulpit and went down the short set of stairs… he stood in front of you, already feeling like he could melt into a puddle on the floor. He stammered a little, looking at you as you smirked at him.
“Did you do it?” You asked him in a casual tone.
John nodded.
“Show me,” you said.
John bent down to grab the very end of his cassock which reached the tops of his shoes… and then he pulled it up, bunching it in his grasp as he lifted it above his waist to show off what was under his cassock the whole time. A set of all-white matching lingerie consisting of sheer stockings, panties, and a lace garterbelt. The stockings enhanced the thickness of his legs, partially hiding the scar on his knee from a childhood injury. The stark white was underlined by a blueish tint that complimented his vibrant skin.
Most importantly, he was unbearably hard, and his cock was barely contained within the tiny panties he was wearing. The head was peeking out and seeping precum which ended up drenching the thin white panties and practically making them see through. Such a weak little barricade from your eyes.
“Y-you’re here…! I’m so glad…” he started off so pathetically, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, “I was waiting so eagerly… and, and I’m wearing what you told me to…! See?”
He sounded so much like he was begging for approval.
“I’ve been so hard, from the moment I put all of this on… mmmff… I couldn’t focus well while leading service… I’m so ashamed, but I’m so, soooo h— horny…” he said this last bit in a whisper.
“From wearing women’s lingerie?” You giggled with a grin.
“Y-yes! From wearing women’s lingerie, I know… I can’t help it…” he was soooo embarrassed…
You had looked him up and down with a hungry gaze. It made him squirm in anticipation and horniness. Of course, your gaze was mostly fixated on his crotch. When you beckoned him closer, he happily did…
“Wow… these panties are so small. I love how they make your love handles bulge out…” you licked your lips and reached out to grab his sides, squeezing them gently. He knows how much you love the plushy areas on his body. John whimpered and felt his cock throb at this— then you made a comment about how you saw it twitch in want! Of course such a detail would not escape your keen scrutiny. After you let go of him, you giggled and told him you had a surprise for him. You had him close his eyes, and he did so… eagerly waiting…
When he opened his eyes, he saw that you had your pants and underwear down to your ankles, and your cock was standing straight up between your thighs. You reached up and unbuttoned your dress shirt, revealing you had nothing on underneath, and then he got so, so unbearably overpowered by lust that his legs buckled, and he fell to his knees in front of you.
“M-may I serve you?” His voice was shaky but full of eagerness, staring up into your eyes with a reverent gleam. Like you were his real God, “please, I just want to make you happy…”
Your giggle was so sweet.
“Yes, John. Come here. Give me your mouth…”
He immediately moved forward to lap up the length of your cock, moaning softly as he did so. Swift and eager licks that made him feel like a puppy. He wrapped his lips around the head and gently started to suck it…
“Good boy. Such a good boy you are, John…”
He nearly melted when you grabbed his hair and moved him down further.
“Mmghh…! Mmm..!” He gagged a little when your member reached the back of his throat, but he was still enthusiastically sucking your cock.
“You’re so cute… such an obedient little boy…”
John placed his hands on your thighs for leverage, rubbing them slowly… so soft… his lips tightened around your cock, and he hollowed his cheeks as he sucked it deep and hard.
“Mmm… mmmfff…” it tasted so good, he loves this, he loves serving you and being your slut.
You lifted him by his hair, he looked up at you and drool dripped down his chin. Such a beautiful blush was staining his cheeks, and his blue eyes stared up at you with hearts practically glittering in them.
“John… Do you want me to stuff you full? Hmmm?” you tickled him under his chin and he basically melted.
“Y-yes… please…”
“Okay~ then get up and turn around for me…”
He immediately stood up and turned around, his cassock still lifted up above his hips… he heard you gasp in delight.
“Oh my gosh, it’s a thong?!” you giggled at this and then you smacked his cute butt hard, making him gasp and give you a slightly playful smile.
“Yes… is it okay?”
“More than okay. Perfect. Now all I need to do is just add some stickiness to make sure you’re ready!”
Of course. Ever the dutiful partner, making sure he won’t be in pain as he’s fucked up the ass. Honestly, he feels like you could put it in dry and he wouldn’t resist. But in the dream, you were so salacious and tender all the same as you tugged his thong aside and slicked him up with lube. Then you pulled him back on your open lap and guided him to sit on your erection, his hole fluttering around it as he sunk down, taking you whole. When your arms wrapped around his waist, he laid his own on them and leaned back as you pumped your hips. A moan immediately left his parted lips as he melted against your thrusts, feeling the inner stimulation form a simmering heat in his pelvis, his cock throbbing needily.
His eyes closed and he let himself get whisked away by the sensations. In the dream, he didn’t care that you were both in a church. Not then, anyway. He was just too happy and horny for a nice, deep fucking from the person he adored, who looked at him like he was the only man in the world. He got lost in the pleasure, letting you do whatever you wanted to his body. Even hiking up one of his legs and letting him rest his shoe-clad foot rest on the pew outside of your thigh, giving you a better angle. He gasped loudly, feeling bursts of ecstasy ripple through himself as your cock rubbed against his prostate, and he turned slightly to wrap one of his arms around your neck.
“Oh my god, fuck yes,” he moaned shamelessly as you pounded faster into him, the squelching of the lube loud in the church. You leaned up to kiss his cheek, so he turned his head down to capture your lips as his own. It quickly turned sloppy as he used probably too much tongue, lewd and debauched as he took every bit of your ministrations. Your arm, still hooked under his knee, had turned so you could palm his dick through the ridiculous sheer panties. His free hand moved and took your hand to slip under the fabric so you could touch him directly, his cock jumping at the contact.
“I-I’m really going to cum if you do that…!” He whined, trying his best not to fall apart. But you were so wicked.
“Then cum for me, pretty boy.” You smirked against his lips.
That’s all it took before his climax crashed over him, causing his vision to go white.
He came so hard in that dream that he came in real life that night. He had woken up with a gasp, sitting straight up in his bed and panting loudly in the darkness of his room, shaking all over. His poor underwear was soaked and ruined by hot, sticky semen, his thighs trembling pitifully.
John squirms a little, blushing red when he feels his cock throbbing in his pants. Looks like he was thinking about that sexy dream once more. Damn it, not again…
He takes a single drag of his cigarette- it’s now down to its butt- and he stubs the remainder of the flame into the ashtray he’s kept outside. With a sigh, he turns around to enter his apartment once more, awkwardly trying to ignore how he’s near bursting through his jeans. After closing the sliding glass door behind him (not without palming his erection), he immediately heads to shower…
Pajamas are laid out. Teeth are brushed. He strips down to wearing nothing and enters his shower after turning it on to his preferred temperature. The water feels amazing, pelting his tired muscles and his sweaty skin.
Cleanliness is close to godliness…
Well, maybe that doesn’t matter for someone like him. A sick, tainted, impure little slutty priest has no business trying to cling to any purity, especially when he’s been dominated and fucked inside out like a whore.
But it felt so fucking amazing.
It’s insane just how many times he’s jerked off to the memory of you fucking him hard and relentlessly. Just pure, wild, animalistic fucking that he’s never experienced before, not even when he was married. It will be no different this time, as he’s already leaning back against the shower wall, grabbing his aching cock in his straining fist. Fuck, that’s good…!
He reaches back to hold the handlebar of the shower wall for balance, his busy hand already working a deep motion on his cock. As John’s head tips back, his jaw drops a little as he moans softly amidst the billowing steam.
“Fuck…”
Slow, long strokes… a firm grip on the aching member already begging for release… its blush is vivid due to its engorged state…
He moans your name quietly.
“Oh, what are you doing to me…?” More like ‘wherefore art thou?’ with how needy and wistful he sounds.
“Mm, please fuck me… please fuck me…”
Even if you’re not even here, just imagining you quickens his pulse.
And he loves begging.
Begging you, specifically.
“Yes… oh, please give it to me…”
Still, the strokes are deep and smooth, not missing a single spot of his shaft, even rubbing his thumb over the head of his cock everytime he gets to it. The shudder that comes over his body is downright pathetic.
“I need you… ahhh… so badly…”
The pumping gets a bit faster, just enough to have him gasping and his balls tensing up in anticipation. They love a good release, especially when you are the cause of it.
“Oh yeah, yeah…”
His voice is filled with desperation.
“Yes, oh yes! Fuck me…!”
Slick noises are caused by precum which is slathered by his hand, rubbing all over his needy cock. His breathing is getting heavier and heavier, eyes squeezed shut, heart beating faster…!
“Oh god, oh fuck, I’m gonna cum…! I’m so close, I’m gonna cum!!”
John’s movements speed up. He’s panting hard, hips twitching— and then release hits him, pretty stars dancing behind his pretty eyes.
“Oh—! Ahhhh!!”
Blissful shivers travel all throughout his body and then hot white cum spurts from his cock. Every time he pumps it in his hand, more seed spills over the tightened grip, making him cry out hard in pleasure. It seems like it doesn’t stop, and neither does his racing heart as it pumps ecstasy through every inch of his body.
“Nghhh!! I love you… I love you…!!”
I love you so much.
So much…
When the bliss begins to subside, he exhales gently.
…so much cum. What the hell? Sheesh, it’s not normally like that. Then again, he’s been trying to rein in his horniness these days, so that means masturbation has been a no-no! Even though he fails to control himself sometimes.
Oops.
While panting hard, John leans back against the shower wall… dizziness overcomes him, but before he can faint, he shakily sits on the tiled floor while the water cascades over him, dripping down his face and his body.
He’s dying in the best way. But it’s so torturous. It’s not fair…!
But… but…
Did he say… what he thinks he said?
…may God have mercy.
Such a lovesick little fool.
And the fact that he just melts under you without you even trying to turn him to a mess just baffles him deeply. John knows that he isn’t exactly a softspoken or submissive person. He’s actually been described by plenty of people as poised, confident, steadfast— and, surprisingly, even curt or surly. Sure, he wouldn’t describe himself as an extrovert or even particularly outgoing, but he certainly wasn’t meek or timid. He was charismatic when he needed to be, but perhaps his natural quietness made him appear to be on the softer side?
It is confusing even to him.
But all he knows is that with you, you make his head spin, turn him into a dizzied mess that makes him rethink his entire life, make his heart swoon, his stomach burst with butterflies. If he opened up completely to you, what would you say or do?
Fuck. He needs to call you, see you, do anything to have your attention on him again. At this point, it’s not only about the sexual aspect. He wants to talk with you, to spend time with you, to get to know you better. Sure, you both had friendly interactions much before you started your torment against him… but even then, you were so elusive. Something about it drives him crazy. Even when you’re mean to him, you still care. Really care.
Maybe? If you did care, then you’d actually contact him or something.
God damn it.
————
When he sees you again, it’s in a surprisingly different place than the church. Simply at the grocery store. He had gone to pick up a few things, mainly a few items that he was low on stock back at his home. He is looking at a section of hand soaps, scanning for the type he typically bought. It must say “antibacterial” on the bottle— he likes the assurance that it actually cleans his hands. He’s kind of a germaphobe. And, cleanliness is close to godliness, as the saying goes.
Then he hears a familiar voice.
“Hey, you!”
He turns his head and his eyes widen slightly when he sees you in a casual outfit. You have a shopping basket hanging on your arm, but he’s not nosy enough to peer down at the contents. Besides, he’s more interested in finally seeing you. A flurry of emotions fill him and he straightens his posture, smiling softly.
“Oh…! Hi there,” he says as he tilts his head slightly. “Um… how have you been?”
You sigh a little, shaking your head.
“Busy with work. A little stressed out, to be honest. I’ve been kind of lazy on my days off, so I haven’t been doing much… I’m low on some stuff, so I decided to come and get what I need.” Your eyes drag over his outfit and he gulps softly. “This is the second time I’ve seen you in casual clothes. Sometimes I forget you’re not just a priest, John.” A grin reveals your shiny teeth, and John rubs the back of his neck.
“Oh, of course. Even the man under the uniform is still just a man at the end of the day, after all.” He chuckles a little, feeling bashful and nervous to be in your presence. The urge to hug you is so overwhelming that he nearly jumps out of his skin to do so. But of course he reigns it in.
A clear of his throat, and then he speaks.
“You’re looking well, at least. I’m glad for that. Spring has been lovely so far, hasn’t it?” Damn, why isn't he just telling you he wants to talk again? To simply figure out what the two of you want? Why is he so damn nervous and scared? Maybe not scared, but…
It’s too confusing. Just a little smitten teenager. He’s thirty five, not sixteen.
Luckily, you move along in the conversation with ease, perking up considerably.
“Yeah, it is! I feel like this year the flowers and trees are so much brighter than last year. I think the city has done some more work around the town— plus the parks have been enhanced with new flora. I like it. Speaking of parks… There's one by my place that I’ve been wanting to visit now that the weather has been so nice. I mean, I’ve only been there once so far. It’s big and I didn’t get to explore most of it… but I think I’d like to go again to look around thoroughly. It would be better with some company, though.”
Oh damn. Is that an invitation? Maybe? John puts on a collected demeanor and raises a brow. He better play it cool.
“Company, you say? Well, that sounds great. I’m sure your friends would enjoy going with you.”
He blinks when he sees you giggle.
“Them? Probably not. They prefer the indoors. But I was thinking of going with you, if you’re up for it.” You make the suggestion with a pretty flutter of your lashes.
He’s so gone.
“Well— I— ahem… um, I’d love to go with you.” He replies with a crooked smile. Damn, he stammered a little. But you only find it endearing.
“Yeah, sounds good! It’s the one near the university. If you want to come along, meet me there this Saturday afternoon at, say… noonish?”
When he nods silently, seemingly entranced, you flash him a sweet smile and then reach past him, your arm brushing his midsection (which causes his stomach to flutter) and you pluck out a bottle of soap. You put it in your basket, send him a wink, and stride down the aisle to disappear around the corner.
Wow. You’re so cute. He can’t believe that he’s going to go on a date with you.
Wait a moment. Is it really a date? Surely it is, right? Or maybe a casual hangout? Well, he supposes it doesn’t matter… he’s just glad he’ll be enjoying your company in a casual manner, outside of church or sexual encounters.
John glances at where the place of the now missing bottle was before looking at the ones behind where it used to be. Oh! It was one of the exact brands he was specifically looking for, right down to the very scent and the fact it was antibacterial.
Some part of him feels touched that he is the same as you in this mundane way. Even if it is just for a preference for soap.
He’s down bad, isn’t he…
————
When Saturday rolls around, John dresses casually, but in a put together manner. Well, it’s not like he’s rarely put together. He always makes sure his appearance is neat and hygiene is well maintained. But he still can’t help but feel more self aware when he’s going out for personal outfings. Priestly appearance is second nature to him, so he’s rarely concerned over that and has found it easy to keep that in perfect order. If there’s anything his studies taught him during his journey toward priesthood, it’s that appearances certainly matter when it comes to portraying the essence of God and making a good impression on the parish or anyone else a priest may interact with. Of course vanity is impure, but an elegant demeanor is imperative.
The drive to the park is one filled with both excitement and trepidation. He can’t contain his nervousness. He has half a mind to stop at a corner store to buy a pack of cigarettes since he threw his last pack out, but decides against it. He made the choice a week and a half ago to stop smoking. It’s not like he had been a heavy smoker throughout his life— he mostly picked it up around the time he was 29, and had smoked on and off through the past few years. But when he gets sucked into it, it’s a bad habit to break and he once got hung up over it for a while, having a handful of cigarettes a day when things had been particularly stressful. He doesn’t want to get to that point again.
You had mentioned to him that you thought it was sexy when a guy smokes. He’s still a little confused over that. Maybe he can bring it up today when he has the chance, because he doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea about him. It would be too embarrassing— he’s definitely not a fiend.
He parks his car and then leans back in his seat, having to take a moment to steel his nerves. Inhaling a deep breath. Holding it for several seconds. Exhaling if out.
He slumps onto the steering wheel, gripping it tightly. Get yourself together, John!!! Be an adult!!!
He sits up straight and shuts off the car. Unbuckle seatbelt. Open door. Step out, close door, lock car. Stand there and hesitate a moment.
Okay.
He’s got this.
Oh shit. Did you mention a specific spot to meet him at? He didn’t even ask!! Idiot… now what is he going to do if you spend so much time looking for him and he can’t find you? Damn. But maybe just staying near the main entrance will be okay? He leans against his car, crossing his arms as he sends his gaze toward the park, taking in the scenery. You were right— it’s very beautiful and there are a lot of vibrant trees and flowers. This park sometimes holds fairs or festivals once in a while. It has plenty of things to observe and enjoy, such as a variety of plant species, bird species, tea gardens and ponds, a few hiking trails, and more. He has been here before, a few years ago, for a fundraising event that Father Allred led. John had been helping him and it was a lovely day.
Lost in thought, John suddenly notices something nearing him. He turns his gaze and sees you, a bright smile on your face and a shine in your eyes. As his heart thuds faster in his chest, he perks up and sends the same expression to you. Damn, you look so cute. But you always do.
“Hi, John. Sorry, I didn’t mean to kill your vibe. The cool guy act was cute though. I had to take a moment to observe you.” You laugh a little and he can feel slight warmth in his cheeks.
“Oh, don’t mess with me,” John says with a chuckle, pushing off of the car and standing tall. His eyes rake over your outfit (very nice-looking) before looking into your eyes. “It’s great to see you. I had thought I’d have to go around searching for you. But it seems like you found me first.”
“I certainly did. Come on, let’s walk!” You gesture for him to walk by you as the two of you make your way through the entrance.
As you and John walk through the park, he listens intently as you apologize for the absence from his life. Medical appointments, visiting family out of state, vacation with friends… he understands completely that you have a life and he’s happy you’re doing well, happy and safe. He’s not upset anymore about the lack of contact. Besides, neither of you have each other's numbers. So there’s that. He feels relieved that you weren’t absent on purpose, that he wasn’t the one that drove you away. It’s like a heavy weight has been lifted off his shoulders and he can breathe clearly again.
It’s a romantic setting, walking the path with healthy flowers on either side. Vivid shades of red, blue, pink, purple, a variety of species in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Large trees that are clearly thriving, bright green grass which reflects under the sun in small ripples of the breeze… this place radiates a sweet serenity that soothes any anxiety he feels near you. There are children playing at a playground with parents dutifully watching, and other people striding along the paths. Bees and butterflies floating from one flower to another, and woolly clouds in the sky. A perfect spring day.
And he has you all to himself.
When you ask about what he’s been up to, he replies honestly.
“Nothing interesting. Well— nothing out of the ordinary. My typical duties. I’m just a boring old man.” He says, which elicits a laugh out of you. He almost tenses up when you hug his arm, feeling a jolt of excitement (wholesome excitement, mind you) and a slight swoon. He almost turns to the side to make a fist pump of victory, but holds it in. He feels like such a dweeb.
And when he looks back at you to see you nuzzle his upper arm, he thinks he might explode.
You, on the other hand, can’t control your affection for him. Internally, you have admitted to yourself days ago that you missed him. More than you did in the past. You’ve felt a little bad for tormenting him and being mean to him from time to time (then again he did enjoy it) but still. Not to mention that you hadn’t reached out to him, much less even visited the church here and there. It’s true, you have been quite busy these days. But seeing him again just makes you happy, like you don’t want to let him go.
So as you cling to his arm and nuzzle it, rubbing your cheek on his bicep through his shirt, you feel a sense of satisfaction. You hope he can call you “baby” again in the future, but not only when you’re fucking him out of his mind.
But definitely when you’re fucking him out of his mind. Heehee.
For now, however, you’re content to enjoy the scenery and make good conversation with John, basking in his company and the beauty he displays in appreciating life and the world around him.