Chapter Text
Time was a funny thing.
When you're a kid, especially, time passes in fits and starts. When you're waiting for something you want, time slows down to a crawl. But when you finally get there, time speeds up and lunges ahead: the moment you awaited was gone before you could even blink.
On the flipside, if there was something you dreaded? Then there was no waiting. Time would flow like a raging river, and you’d be caught in its current.
The days and years get shorter as childhood fades away, but time itself never really changes.
Looking back, Kyo could hardly believe he'd made it this far. He'd spent so much of his life torn between running and fighting; running from the Curse, his past, and the rest of world. Fighting against the Sohmas, his ‘father,’ the views and perceptions of him; fighting the Cat spirit, and its so-called ‘destiny.’
He'd tried so hard for so long to get away from it all. To break free from what was foretold and just be himself. And he had hoped, in his fantasies, that he might one day succeed; that he would escape from the Cat’s darkness and walk forward in light.
It had been a beautiful dream he never believed could come true. Dreams didn’t come true, especially not for the Cat; even if they did, Kyo himself didn’t deserve it. And he had been resigned to that fact...until Tohru had changed it.
He owed Tohru so, so much. All of the Zodiac did. But none of them could ever owe her nearly as much as he.
So much had happened since the day he'd first crashed through Tohru’s ceiling. She had changed him; changed all of them, and changed their very world. Those changes had been gradual in the beginning, but as more time had passed Tohru’s influence had grown. With her increased influence the changes accelerated…just like time itself, as far as Kyo was concerned.
He couldn't put his finger on when time began speeding up, but he remembered the dread when he realized how brief his time with her would be. Back then, he would have done anything if he could freeze the clock; he has wished, impossibly, those days could last forever.
But he hadn’t needed time to stop for him. Those increasingly bigger changes had built on one another into a giant seismic shift, one that the Zodiac had all dreamed of but never expected to see: the moment when the Curse ended, and they all found themselves free.
Kyo would believe in miracles until the day he died. He had seen Tohru that day, released from the hospital; he had told her he loved her, and she’d said that she loved him. He had kissed her and, that time, she could kiss him back. And she was willing to accept him, Cat transformations and all.
That would, and could, have been enough for him, but things hadn’t been about to stop there.
Taking her into his arms that first time and remaining a man...even before he knew the Curse had broken and was gone forever, Kyo was overwhelmed by the fact that he could finally hold her.
So much more had happened in the months that passed since then. He and Tohru had gone public with their relationship, and they'd thrown themselves into enjoying their senior year. He had asked her to move away with him after graduation; she had accepted, and they’d made their many plans.
Kyo had lined up a job in the northern village of Hibe, a job that was waiting for him to start as soon as he could. They'd found a little house to rent and shopped for home essentials. In the past few weeks Tohru had started looking for jobs, and they'd both finally gotten cell phones of their own. They'd spent an almost ridiculous amount with their Tokyo loved ones, visiting and being visited to the point of exhaustion.
And yesterday, they had graduated from high school. The day that Kyo had always dreaded had come and gone with joy.
That morning, Kyo and Tohru had emptied and cleaned their rooms. Soon, they'd be leaving the house for the dojo, to spend their last night in Tokyo with Kazuma, and tomorrow their family and friends would escort them to the train.
Starting tomorrow, it would be just Kyo and Tohru, together, facing their future. A future that was wide open, exciting, and achingly beautiful.
"Hey, are you ok, Tohru? Really ok?"
Tohru smiled and leaned into Kyo as he knelt down beside her. The two of them had been working hard since very early that morning, packing up the last of Tohru's things, assisting the furniture movers, and giving their empty rooms a thorough cleaning. It had been hard, much harder than Tohru would have liked, saying ‘goodbye’ to her room and the happy dreams she'd dreamed there; she had been grateful to have Kyo with her the entire time.
As they’d worked, there had been many times when Tohru had stopped, needing to take break so she could sit back and cry. Every time, Kyo had been there to hold her and let her cling, for however long it took until she was composed. Kyo understood her feelings completely, even if he didn’t share them; he knew how hard it was for her to leave the house and the city, and he had told her to cry as much as she needed to feel better.
Tohru doubted he'd expected half the tears he'd gotten, but Kyo hadn't complained about her crying even once.
Tohru and Kyo finished their work just before lunch, and together they had whipped up a small meal. Neither of their housemates was home to eat with them; Shigure was at the main estate as usual, and Yuki had spent the previous night at Machi's.
Tohru wasn't sure if the tête-à-tête made it easier or not; there was certainly something sad and almost anticlimactic about that meal, her last meal eaten at the house, being eaten without the people with whom she'd shared her first. But it was also kind of fitting to share that time with Kyo: their final ‘thank you for the food’ meaning more than just that one meal.
After they finished eating Tohru and Kyo cleaned up their dishes, then Tohru walked out onto the engawa and looked out over the yard. It was another beautiful spring day; the perfect sort of day for being outside. If this was a normal day, she’d likely be out in the garden; working side by side with Yuki, as she’d done so many times.
But today was almost as far from normal as it could be. The environment itself was the same as always, but everything else about Tohru’s life was rapidly changing.
As of that very day, this was no longer her home.
Tohru knelt down on the engawa one last time, looking out over the peaceful yard and reflecting on everything she'd had happen since she'd first arrived. Yes, she was happy and excited for their move, but right there, right then, she thought of the past.
If life had taught her anything in her eighteen years, it was to appreciate everything you were given, because you never knew what might be waiting at the next bend. Even if that bend promised better and brighter things, what she already had was precious, and something to be cherished.
That was when Kyo had knelt down with her and asked if she was ok. It had been a sweet question, but one that she couldn't answer; not when the answer was both ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ But she knew what he was really asking with the question, and after taking a deep breath Tohru patted his hand.
"I will be, Kyo, I promise. Soon. But right now, I just need a little time."
Kyo understood, and he kissed the top of her head before he stood up.
"I'll get the last of the cleaning supplies and that ladder put away. You just take whatever time you need."
Tohru gave him a grateful version of a wistful smile, then turned back to face the yard and her thoughts as Kyo walked away.
Kyo hadn't expected Yuki to turn up at just that moment, and when Yuki asked to speak to Tohru in private Kyo hesitated. On the one hand, Tohru had seemed like she wanted to be alone...but on the other, this was Yuki, and they would be leaving soon.
The decision was easy once he actually thought about it. Kyo knew Tohru would likely want to talk to Yuki, and given how close Yuki and Tohru had always been, he could imagine that Yuki might have something important to say. There had been a time once when that fact would have scared him, but thanks in part to Yuki himself, those days were long gone. Now, he knew that whatever it was that Yuki needed to say, it was no threat to Kyo, or his relationship.
Hopefully it was the right call, sending Yuki to Tohru. But if not, Kyo trusted Yuki to realize that and back off.
"Living room," Kyo told Yuki in response to his question, gesturing back in that direction with his thumb. Then he started to resume his trek up the stairs, only to pause when Yuki called out,
“Hey.”
Kyo stood there, listening, as Yuki continued, "you better do your best out there, you Stupid Cat."
At first, Kyo was shocked; that actually sounded encouraging, and they didn’t do encouragement. But then he smiled without turning, firing back at Yuki, "Mind your own business, you Stupid Rat."
Kyo wasn't sure what his relationship with Yuki would look like in the future. It had definitely not been the most pleasant in the past, though he could admit that was largely due to his own behavior. He had been the one hostile to Yuki from the beginning, the one who had blamed every hardship in his life on the Rat.
He was the one who had lashed out first, the one who had always been angry...
Many years had passed since Yuki started returning that anger, and those years of aggression and distrust had made a deep divide. It was possible that they would never bridge that gulf; at this point, Kyo couldn’t say he cared if they did.
But Kyo knew in his heart that while Yuki might always be 'that Damn Rat,' he was no longer, and never again would be, that object of hatred.
Leaving Yuki behind him Kyo made his way upstairs, stopping in the doorway to Tohru's room. The sight of the empty space was almost surreal, even though he and Tohru had only just cleaned it.
Everything other than Tohru's own personal possessions had been packed up and moved to the main estate; her actual possessions had been packed as well, joining Kyo’s own things in their brand-new luggage set.
That luggage was waiting downstairs for the next leg of their journey, as it would go with them to the dojo and then onto the train. For now, Kyo didn’t need to think about it…
Though he wasn’t sure what he should think of instead.
Looking around Tohru’s empty room, Kyo could feel a pang. Tohru hadn't had too many things there of her own, but the things she did have had made that room hers. Now, it was just another empty space, waiting for a new occupant that might never come.
He had no idea what would be happening with the house, other than that very soon, it would be totally empty. Yuki would be leaving soon for Kyoto and university, and Shigure would be done with the house as soon as he finished tying up the ends of his writing career. Mitsuru was stuck with him for just a few weeks more, then she'd be free and Shigure would move out the last of his things.
Did even the Sohmas know what would happen with the house next?
Kyo wasn't an especially nostalgic person, particularly not when compared to Tohru. But he could still appreciate what the house had done for them all, and he felt a twinge of sadness for its loss.
He looked at the cleaning supplies they had left by the door: some rags, some cleaning solution, and a floor sweeper. He'd originally intended to put them away downstairs, but he didn't want to risk intruding on Tohru and Yuki. So instead he left the things there and walked out of the room, heading down the hallway to his own.
The view in his room wasn’t that different from how it had looked before. He'd never had that many things to start with, and they, like Tohru's, were all now packed. But the shelves were still there with all of Shigure's books, and the futon was still folded in the corner where it had always sat.
In fact, in almost every respect it was just like it had been.
Kyo smiled slightly as he considered that thought, and he wondered if Tohru would agree with him. Was it true, that it looked pretty much as it always had? Or to her eyes had he left a mark that he himself couldn’t see?
He wouldn't be surprised if there was something he’d missed; from the very first, he’d done his best to not get attached. He’d always been like that, with everything in his life: if you didn’t get attached, you never had to feel loss.
That had been the idea, at least.
It hadn’t always worked, much as he wished it had.
And Kyo frowned sadly, thinking back to the him from three years in the past, the one who had been forced into this house totally against his will. A depressed, angry, dejected version of him, who had been eaten up with guilt, hate, and despair.
He wished that his younger self could see where he was now, and that he would know that there was hope in his future. But the Kyo of the present had learned a few valuable lessons since then; he wasn't going to let fear of the future or any possibility cheat him out loving and embracing what he had.
Closing the door to his room one final time, Kyo walked onto the balcony and looked out at the trees. But over the sound of the breeze he could hear Yuki's low voice, and he realized Tohru and Yuki must be on the engawa below.
Rather than going back inside to face the empty rooms, Kyo vaulted up onto the ladder and climbed up to the roof, going over to the side furthest from Tohru and Yuki. Once there, Kyo laid down on the familiar tiles and looked out over the city like he’d so often done. It was a gorgeous view, just like it had always been, with the green trees giving way to the urban sprawl beyond. And as Kyo studied that familiar view, he could feel yet another pang.
He would miss this too, he knew; this peace amid chaos. They were moving to a much quieter community and a smaller place, and whatever else they had there, they wouldn't have this roof.
Kyo tilted his head back and stared up into the sky, then smiled as he gently closed his eyes. It was ok to mourn what he and Tohru would leaving, but they would still be looking up at this same sky.