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Chapter Text

Time and Time Again

Chapter 1 - Department of Mysteries

It was a trap. This entire mission was a trap! Deep down she had a feeling that it had been one all along, but for the first time in her life, Hermione Granger was angry that she had been right.

Hermione, Harry, and Neville were now hiding under desks, deep within the Department of Mysteries as Death Eaters stormed into the room. They were surrounded by darkness, and the only light in the room came from a glittering crystal bell jar on the far side. There was the incessant ticking from the clocks lining the walls and Hermione’s heart was beating rapidly along with them.

She could just make out the outline of Harry under the desk in front of her, but she did not have the faintest idea which one Neville had taken refuge under. Wherever Ron, Ginny, and Luna were, Hermione could only hope that they were alright.

“Check under desks,” grunted one of the Death Eaters.

A pair of legs moved in front of her and Hermione felt herself begin to tremble. As silently as she could, she slowly shifted to watch as the legs continued until they got to the desk that Harry was under. Feeling her heart hammering in her ears now, Hermione aimed her wand and was about to say a spell when Harry stuck his wand out from under the desk and yelled, “Stupefy!”

There was a burst of red light and the form under the black robes collapsed backwards into one of the many grandfather clocks, just as the other Death Eater jumped out of the way. In his haste to avoid the charm, the other cloaked figure bumped into the desk Hermione was crouched under, and that’s when he noticed Hermione.

A gasp escaped her lips as she tried to maneuver herself out from under the desk so she could take aim, but she hadn’t moved fast enough. The killing curse had barely formed on the Death Eater’s tongue when a dark shape threw itself at the Death Eater’s legs, knocking him to the floor.

Harry.

Shaken, Hermione could only stare wide-eyed as Harry and the Death Eater wrestled on the ground.

“Expelliarmus!” cried a voice from behind her.

Hermione turned to see Neville standing behind an overturned desk. He had a wild look in his eyes but his expression quickly changed to horrorstruck as both Harry and the Death Eater’s wands flew to the opposite side of the room. There was a struggle as the Death Eater scrambled to get his wand with Harry right behind him.

“Get out of the way, Harry!” yelled Neville, who was running after them. Harry dove to the side as Neville yelled another spell. “Stupefy!”

The spell had only just missed. The jolt of red light flew past the Death Eater’s shoulder and smashed into a cabinet on the wall that was holding an assortment of what appeared to be hourglasses. The glass doors erupted where the spell had hit and the cabinet crashed to the ground and shattered, sending broken glass in every direction. Then, it somehow seemed to repair itself and was back on the wall, before suddenly falling again. More glass rained down all around her and Hermione shielded her eyes as shards of glass exploded around the room. When the glass finally stopped falling, Hermione saw that the cabinet was back on the wall, until it again exploded in what seemed to be a never-ending cycle.

Realizing it was now or never, Hermione crawled out from under the desk and ran to follow Harry and Neville, dodging more shards of glass. Harry, who was still wandless, ducked behind another desk as the Death Eater retrieved his wand. But the Death Eater who had turned to face him had moved too quickly and his mask slipped down his face, blocking his vision. He blindly tried to shoot a spell at Harry when Hermione saw her chance and aimed her wand at the Death Eater, screaming, “Stupefy!”

She watched as the Death Eater froze in place. His wand slipped from his hands and slowly his body began to fall towards the bell jar. Hermione expected the bell jar to break when his head hit it, but instead it seemed to mold around his head like it was made of foam.

It made no sense. The Death Eater was lying flat on his back with his head now fully surrounded by the glass jar; what appeared to be glitter was spiraling around his head.

Hermione gave her head a little shake and then raised her wand and yelled, “accio wand!”

Harry’s wand flew through the air and she caught it in her other hand. She turned to face Harry and tossed it back to him, which he caught easily.

“Thanks! Right, let’s get out of -” began Harry, but he never got to finish.

“Look out!” yelled Neville with an expression of pure horror.

The three of them turned to face the Death Eater with the bell jar on his head. Their wands were raised but they just stood there and stared, open-mouthed, at him.

Through the jar, Hermione could see all of the man’s dark hair quickly retreating back into his skull as his head slowly began shrinking in size. His head continued to shrink until it was the size and shape of a baby’s. It then started to grow back and once it reached its normal size, it shrunk again, leaving Hermione feeling sick. It was one of the most horrific scenes she had ever seen: a baby’s head atop a grown man’s body.

And then it struck her, what the bell jar was doing to him.

“It’s time,” Hermione breathed out loud with wonder, looking around the room full of clocks. “Time…”

Everything around them was changing as if moving through time. The bell jar turning the Death Eater’s head back into a baby, the cabinets full of hourglasses falling and then mending itself and falling again… The room was messing with time! The hourglasses had been Time-Turners!

The Death Eater who laid in front of them had his head slowly sprouting more hair again as it began to age back up, before reverting to becoming a baby again. He was desperately trying to shake the jar off of his head, but with no luck. Hermione wasn’t sure whether to be amazed or horrified as she stood there, frozen.

A shout from a room nearby followed by a crash and scream broke the three of them from their trances.

Harry’s head shot up and he yelled, “RON?” He whipped around and faced away from the baby-headed Death Eater, “GINNY? LUNA?”

Hermione, however, had not stopped looking at the horror that was the baby-headed Death Eater. He had finally managed to pull his head out of the jar but the damage had already been done and his head stayed as a baby’s.

“Harry!” Hermione yelled as he started thrashing towards them, the baby’s head violently sobbing. To Hermione’s amazement, Harry raised his wand to send a spell at the Death Eater. Appalled, Hermione grabbed onto his arm and yelled, “you can’t hurt a baby!”

Harry gave her an exasperated look and he took off towards the door with Hermione and Neville rushing to follow him. They managed to get into what looked like a small, dark, and cluttered office and slammed the door behind them. Just as Hermione was about to seal it shut, two more Death Eaters burst through the door.

“Impedimenta!” shouted both Death Eaters as they hurtled towards them.

Hermione, Harry, and Neville were then blasted off their feet. Wind rushed around her as Hermione flew into a bookshelf with a crash. As she hit the floor, heavy books fell on top of her knocking the wind out of her. She struggled to sit up and saw that Harry and been thrown into the stone wall and Neville was nowhere to be seen. A sharp pain went through Hermione’s head as she tried to stand.

With enormous effort, Hermione was finally able to pull herself off the ground just in time to see a Death Eater attempted to call out their location.

“Silencio!” she yelled, and the Death Eater’s voice was cut off mid shout. The other made a growling noise in the back of his throat as he pushed past his fellow Death Eater towards Hermione with his wand raised.

“Petrificus Totalus!” yelled Harry.

The Death Eater’s arms snapped together and he fell over like a board.

Relief and gratitude swelled through Hermione as she turned and beamed at Harry. “Well done, Ha–”

But at that moment, the silenced Death Eater made a sudden movement with his wand and purple flames shout out of the tip. There was no time to do anything as the flames hit Hermione square in the chest.

Hermione looked down, a tiny “oh!” escaped her lips. She could feel a sensation of falling and blackness was taking over her sight. The last thing she was aware of was Harry screaming her name before darkness engulfed her.

~o~

The next thing Hermione was conscious of were strong arms shaking her, bringing her out of her dark haze.

“Hermione? Hermione, please wake up!” said the voice with a sense of urgency.

With a groan, her eyes fluttered open. Everything around her was blurry and she had to blink rapidly to focus on the figure leaning above her. As everything finally began to focus, she saw that staring down at her was Remus Lupin. The Order must have shown up for them!

“Hermione… thank God…” Lupin sighed with clear relief. “We need to get you out of here. Do you think you can stand?”

“I-I don’t know…”

He took hold of her hand and easily pulled her to her feet. Dizziness overcame her and she fell back into Lupin’s arms as her legs gave out. After a moment of him helping steady her, she regained her balance and was able to stand on her own. But something felt different inside. There was pain searing through her body, yet everything simultaneously felt numb. It was like her entire body had fallen asleep, but the pins and needles were relentless, as well as her throbbing head and chest. Something was terribly wrong…

“Are you okay, Hermione?” he asked with a strained voice.

She glanced up and saw his face clearly for the first time and she was temporarily taken away from her own discomfort at the sight of him. His usual calm composure was broken. In his eyes where she expected to see his usual compassion and comfort, she only saw fear and pain. They were glossed over and there were streak marks running down his pale and scarred face.

“Professor? What’s wrong, what’s happened?” whispered Hermione. She had a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. Like someone had force-fed her polyjuice potion.

He just looked at her and shook his head.

“Just listen to me. You have to get out of here. Find the others and go. I need to go after Harry,” replied Lupin and he began to lead Hermione towards the door.

“Go after Harry? Please, just tell me what’s going on. Where is everyone?” asked Hermione as she looked at her unfamiliar surroundings.

Hermione wasn’t entire sure what had happened, or why she was no longer in that office. Had someone moved her? Where had Harry and Neville gone? How long was she unconscious? Why did Lupin need to go after Harry? The more she thought about it the more her head began to throb, and she was once again aware of the odd pain throughout her body.

Lupin sighed and stopped walking causing Hermione to trip from the sudden stop. He turned to face her and looked her right in the eyes.

“Harry went after Bellatrix. She sent a curse at Sirius which sent him through the veil. He’s… gone…” Lupin’s voice caught on his last word, and he turned his face away so she couldn’t see it anymore.

Gone? Gone as in…?

Emotion overcame Hermione as it dawned on her what he had meant. No… no… Sirius couldn’t be gone… Harry had just gotten him back. Harry needed him…

Her heart felt like it was splitting in two, both for Harry as well as her former professor, who had just lost his last remaining childhood friend.

“Oh Remus…” whispered Hermione.

The use of his first name seemed to snap him back to reality. He turned back to stare at her with such intensity that she thought it might kill her.

A door at the other end of the hall suddenly opened, and another Death Eater came into sight.

Before Hermione knew what was happening, Lupin made a sudden movement. It seemed like he had attempted to pull her behind him, but he was so strong and Hermione still felt so weak that she lost her footing and went stumbling to the cold, dark ground. Lupin quickly jumped in front of her, sending spells at the Death Eater.

“Hermione, go! Run!” he yelled back at her.

Not having to be told twice, Hermione scrambled to her feet and started running to the first door she could see. Once at the threshold, she turned back and saw the Death Eater and Lupin in a duel. Both of them were shooting colorful spells at one another that blasted off of the walls as they both deflected one another’s attacks. She reached for her wand, desperate to help, and realized it wasn’t there. Her stomach dropped at the realization.

“Stupefy!” yelled Lupin, and the Death Eater collapsed. He turned to see Hermione staring wide-eyed in the doorway. “Go!” he yelled at her.

At that moment, two more Death Eaters came into the corridor and faced Lupin. She had to go and get help… Wandless and terrified, Hermione turned and ran through the door and didn’t look back.

The corridor in front of her was unfamiliar. Like most corridors in the Department of Mysteries, it was dark and cold, echoing with every rushed step she took. There was nothing unique about any of the doors around her and Hermione had absolutely no idea where she was going. Turning a corner, she continued to run down the corridor, trying to open each door as she went, desperate to find anyone. One after another, she found that they were locked and panic was truly beginning to set in.

It was only once she got to the end of the corridor did something stand out. Hermione was panting from fear and exhaustion when she stopped in front of a golden door with a black handle.

In one final move of desperation, Hermione yanked at the handle and was surprised when the door flew open. The room before her was pitch black. Hesitantly, Hermione took a step forward and realized too late that the room must have just been empty space. There was no floor at all.

All she could do was scream as she plummeted into the darkness below.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2 - A Familiar Face

Hermione could hear voices around her but she could not find the strength to open her eyes. The voices sounded worried but unfamiliar, as they whispered off in the distance. Before she could give it a second thought, she fell back into unconsciousness.

When she came around again, there was complete silence. The voices she had heard earlier were gone but something felt different. There was the oddest feeling as though someone was watching her. Slowly, she opened her eyes.

The first thing she noticed was that the room around her was extremely bright. There were white walls and white tile floors; the window on the wall to her right was open and a warm and refreshing breeze was coming in with the morning sunlight. When she looked down, she noticed she was in some sort of cloth-like gown and in what appeared to be a hospital bed. To her left was a small bedside table with a potted plant on it.

Hermione paused to stare at it, double checking that it was just a normal plant and not Devil’s Snare. Old habits die hard… But then her attention was brought to the most curious part of the room. Besides her was wooden chair, and in that chair sat none other than Albus Dumbledore. His blue eyes were gleaming at her through his half-moon spectacles.

“Professor Dumbledore?” croaked Hermione, her throat burning as she spoke.

“It’s great to see you are finally awake,” said Dumbledore with a smile.

“Where am I?”

Hermione knew it was a stupid question as soon as it escaped her mouth. It was rather obvious where she was.

“You are currently in St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Fourth floor, room 413A, to be specific,” said Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eye. He sat up straighter and stroked his long beard. “You’ve been here for five days. We were quite worried about you.”

Five days? She had been out that long? A panic spread through her as she thought about what had happened to Harry, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Luna. The last thing she could remember was a long dark corridor with many doors…

“Where is everyone? Are they okay?” asked Hermione. She then gasped, “Oh my gosh, Harry!”

At this, Dumbledore frowned. “I’m not sure I’m following… If you feel comfortable, could you recall what you remember about how you got to be in the Department of Mysteries?”

“But sir, you must already know. Didn’t the others tell you?” squeaked Hermione. She could feel panic beginning to boil in her blood. Using her arms, she tried to sit farther up. Her head whirled and she slumped back down into her pillows. There was a deep throbbing coming from her chest, right where the purple flames had hit her.

Dumbledore sighed sadly.

“Maybe we should start at the basics,” he gave her a warm smile. “We’ll start with your name. Everyone around here has been speculating about who you are but with no luck. For the time being, they’ve been referring to you as the unconscious girl from the Department of Mysteries.”

“But Professor Dumbledore, why didn’t you tell them who I am?” Hermione’s voice shook as she asked this. She could sense that something was very wrong and her heart was beginning to race in her already painful chest.

 “Because, my dear, I haven’t the faintest idea of who you are.”

The shock of what Dumbledore had said was too much for Hermione. Once again, her vision faded out to black.

When she woke up again, it was night and the window had been shut. The bright daylight had been replaced with an assortment of candles that cast the room in a faint glow. Nevertheless, Albus Dumbledore remained in the chair next to her bed.

“Oh good, you’re awake once again,” said Dumbledore with a friendly smile.

“Sir, something is very wrong… Why is it you don’t remember me? Why doesn’t anyone know who I am? Why aren’t any of my friends or family here with me?” whispered Hermione, her eyes filling up with tears.

“I was called here because several unspeakables stumbled upon an unconscious girl deep in the Department of Mysteries. No one knew who you were or where you came from so they sent for me hoping that maybe I could identify you since you are of Hogwarts age. Alas, I could not place you,” said Dumbledore softly. “My dear, I want you to tell me the last thing you remember.”

So she did. She told him how she was hit with purple flames and knocked unconscious by a Death Eater. How Lupin had found her and told her to run while he fought off more attackers. That she had wanted to help but her wand was gone. That she had no idea where she was going as she ran through the corridors of the Department of Mysteries. When she got to the part about the golden door and falling into black, empty space, Dumbledore’s eyes flickered with what appeared to be realization.

“Do you know the date?” asked Dumbledore.

“Well,” started Hermione. “We went to the Department of Mysteries on June 18^th. You said I’ve been here for five days so that would make it the 23^rd.”

She looked at her headmaster with confusion, wondering why the date seemed to matter.

“And do you know the year?” asked Dumbledore tenderly. 

“Of course I do, it’s 1996!” exclaimed Hermione.

Sadness was visible in Dumbledore’s eyes as he looked at Hermione. “The Department of Mysteries is a very strange place… Even I am not aware of all the happenings that ensue there. It seems to me Miss—”

“Granger… Hermione Granger…” murmured Hermione in a voice so small she wondered if he had even heard her.                                             

“It seems to me, Miss Granger, that the room you entered may have sent you back in time. Twenty years if I am not mistaken.”

There was silence between them. Hermione stared hard into Dumbledore’s eyes trying to find a hint of humor behind them. It had to be some odd joke he was trying to play… But why would Dumbledore make this up?

Finally, Hermione spoke. “That can’t be possible… I can’t be in 1976. I haven’t even been born yet! There must be some mistake…”

Dumbledore looked at her with pity in his eyes. “I wish it were, Miss Granger.” He pulled out a copy of the Daily Prophet from his bag and gently handed it to Hermione.

She grabbed it and stared at the date: June 23, 1976.

“No… no, this can’t be happening…” choked Hermione, tears now pouring down her cheeks. She gave Dumbledore a desperate look before burying her face in her hands.

The only thing Dumbledore could do was to wait for her to calm down. She let herself cry until her chest felt hollow before forcing herself to take a deep breath and look Dumbledore right in the eye.

“You must think I’m crazy,” snorted Hermione.

“On the contrary, you seem to be a very sane young woman who is handling a most unpleasant situation with extreme poise,” replied Dumbledore with the faintest of smiles on his lips.

“What am I supposed to do?” whispered Hermione with wide, teary eyes.

“I will do everything in my power to try to find a way to send you back but, I must warn you. So far there is no form of magic, that I am aware of, that will send you to the future, only magic to send you to the past.”

“Where will I go?” she breathed.

“For the time being, you can stay at Hogwarts, if you would be so inclined. It would be no trouble at all. I would hazard a guess that you are beginning your sixth year, are you not?”

Hermione just nodded.

“Excellent. Once you are cleared by the Healers, I will take you with me back to Hogwarts where we will further discuss the manner of your predicament. For now, rest.”

Closing her eyes, Hermione put her head back down on the soft pillows. She willed herself to fall asleep and hoped that the next time she wakes up all of this will have just been an awful dream.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

It wasn’t until later in the week that Hermione’s Healer finally agreed to let her leave. Dumbledore arrived late that afternoon and brought with him plain black robes which he gave to Hermione to wear on top of the torn-up clothes she was found in. He gave her a few minutes alone to change and get ready to leave.

After she finished changing, Hermione looked around the hospital room. She had no possessions with her, not even her wand. As grateful as she was to leave hospital, there was a sense of sadness at seeing the room hold nothing of her own to take with her. With a sigh, she walked out of the room she had been staying in and saw Professor Dumbledore waiting for her.

“Ah, Miss Granger, are you ready for our departure to Hogwarts?” he asked with a smile.

“Yes, I believe so, sir.”

The two of them walked through the main lobby of St. Mungo’s. Hermione’s eyes widened as she noticed some of the patients around her. While she was there, she had been kept in her own private room so, she hadn’t seen anyone else. Although she had been to St. Mungo’s before, it was still strange to see all the magical injuries people somehow obtained.

There was a man with bite marks going up his right arm. In his left hand he was clutching what seemed to be a book, struggling against his grip. It was most likely a copy of The Monster Book of Monsters – a textbook in which she used in her third year – or a book of the same likeness. An older witch was at the front desk complaining loudly to the person behind it. The top of her head was engulfed in blue flames where her hair should have been. She didn’t seem to be in pain, but she was unquestionably distressed.

Dumbledore guided Hermione to the front of St. Mungo’s and they passed through the entrance and into the streets of muggle London. She turned to look at the building in which she walked out of and saw that it was a brick red department store named Purge and Dowse, Ltd. Even after being a member of the wizarding world for five years, it was things like this that still amazed Hermione. Only wizards would think of hiding a huge hospital disguised as a department store on a busy muggle street.

Dumbledore continued to lead her further down the road. People gawked at them as they walked by. To muggles, Dumbledore must have been an interesting sight to see. His long white hair and beard, which reached past his belt, were not even the strangest part of his appearance. He had chosen to wear an exquisite set of purple robes and a matching cap, which drew a lot of attention from the muggles on the street. They turned into an alleyway about four streets away from St. Mungo’s and stopped.

“Have you taken the Knight bus before, Miss Granger?” asked Dumbledore.

“Twice, sir,” said Hermione, already feeling sick of the thought of having the ride the hectic bus again.

“Normally, I would apparate us back to the school gates, but seeing as you’ve been through so much, this might be less stress on your body,” said Dumbledore with a nod.

With a smile, Dumbledore stuck out his wand arm and there was a loud BANG! and suddenly the tight alleyway was fully taken up by a violently purple, triple-decker bus.

“After you,” said Dumbledore when the conductor opened the door of the bus and welcomed them on.

The journey was relatively short, thankfully, since not many people seemed to be using the Knight Bus that day, but the quick movements and sudden stops had Hermione feeling as though her brain were being scrambled. By the time they had finally come to their stop, Hermione couldn’t imagine how doing side-along apparition could have possibly been worse than that.

When they stepped off the bus, she noticed they were at the edge of Hogsmeade. The Hogwarts Gates were not far from where they stood and they silently started walking towards them.

“I trust you are familiar with Hogsmeade?” he asked her.

“Yes, sir. It appears to not have changed much in the past 20 years or, I guess, future years,” said Hermione.

It was an odd thing to think about, her past being the future, and Hermione looked down at the ground as they walked. The rest of the journey was silent.

Together, they walked up to the castle and into the majestic Entrance Hall. To Hermione’s surprise, everything looked exactly the same as it had in her time. She wasn’t even sure why this came as a surprise to her. The same torches that Hermione remembered lined the stone walls and the suits of armor and paintings were all as they had ever been. The only difference was that the marble staircase seemed to be a bit cleaner than she remembered, but she might have been just imagining that. The four hourglasses by the large oak doors were empty, rightfully so, since the school year had ended.

“It’s a shame the Healers did not let you leave earlier,” stated Dumbledore. “Yesterday was the end of term feast, it would have been nice if you could have participated.”

“I think it is better that I’m here now that all the students have gone home, Professor. Best not to draw attention to myself, with me being from the future and all…” replied Hermione.

Dumbledore chuckled, “too right you are, Hermione. It is getting late, I think you should get settled in. We will meet tomorrow morning to discuss your situation. I trust you know your way to the Gryffindor common room? You can move into the sixth year dormitory for now and I will have food sent up for you.”

“You know what house I’m in?” questioned Hermione with a raised eyebrow. She couldn’t remember if she had discussed that with him or not.

He smiled down at Hermione, “my dear, it is written all over you. I have no doubt in my mind that it is the house you belong to. The password is ‘Arcanam Tempus’. I will send for you in the morning. Goodnight, Miss Granger.”

With a smile, he walked off with his purple robes flowing behind him, leaving Hermione feeling quite small standing in the Entrance Hall alone.

Hermione walked to the Grand Staircase and admired the familiar view. Hogwarts had always seemed like a second home to her. It was the first time in her life she had friends that wanted and accepted her. But now they were all gone and all she felt was emptiness as she climbed the stairs. When she arrived at the seventh floor, she stopped in front of the portrait of The Fat Lady.

“Ah yes, Dumbledore told me you were staying here. He didn’t, however, say why,” said The Fat Lady, eyeing Hermione curiously. She leaned forward in her frame “Why is it you’re at Hogwarts after term?”

The little patience Hermione normally had with The Fat Lady was nonexistent in that moment.

“Arcanam Tempus,” sighed Hermione, ignoring the portrait’s question.

The Fat Lady narrowed her eyes, “Not very friendly, hmpf!”

The door swung open and Hermione climbed through the portrait hole. On the table, by one of the armchairs, was a tray with sandwiches. Next to it was a jug of pumpkin juice, a glass, and a bottle of butterbeer. She took the tray and sat in her favorite chair by the fire and ate slowly. It was so strange being in the common room alone without the usual sound of chatter.

Finally, she couldn’t take the silence any longer. She ran up the stairs to the girls’ dormitories and found the bed she usually slept in. She pulled off her robes and crawled under the covers. As she tried to sleep, all she could think about were the people that made Hogwarts her home. Their faces swarmed through her vision: Harry, Ron, Ginny, Fred and George, Luna, Neville, and Hagrid; even Draco would make this horror more bearable. What she would give to see a familiar face, even if it was the ferrety face of Draco Malfoy. Her eyes shot open as visions of her parents faces had appeared in her mind. Would she ever see them again?

After hours of just lying there, and a few tears, Hermione finally drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3 - The Side Effects of Time Travel

A tapping sound roused Hermione the next day. Peeking through her eyes, she saw that the dormitory was flooded with sunlight. She lifted her head up to see that the tapping noise was coming from an owl outside one of the dormitory windows. Hermione swung her feet off her bed and walked barefoot across the wooden floor. She pulled the window open and the brown owl landed on the windowsill and placed a letter in Hermione’s hand. Hermione shut the window, as the owl flew away, and walked back to her bed and sat down. She sighed and opened the letter and began to read:

Dear Ms. Granger,

I hope your first night back at Hogwarts, after all of these strange events, was welcoming. As I stated yesterday, I request that you come see me in my office so we can further discuss what we shall do about your situation. I trust you know where to find my office. The current password is “Fawkes”. I hope to see you soon, however, there is no rush.

Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore

Hermione read the letter a few times and then set it down. She pulled on the robes Dumbledore had given her and silently exited the dormitory. It was still an eerie feeling having the Common Room empty in the middle of the day. It was so quiet that Hermione could clearly hear the ripple of the flames in the fireplace as she passed it. She made her way out of the portrait hole and starting walking. As she walked she could feel the portraits watching her. They whispered to each other, obviously wondering what she was doing in the castle alone during the summer. Hermione kept her nose up high and did not make eye contact with any of them as she made her way to Dumbledore’s office.

When she arrived in front of the large stone gargoyle, that guarded his office, Hermione hesitated. She had no idea what to expect. Taking a deep breath, she looked up at the ugly gargoyle and, in the clearest voice she could muster, said, “Fawkes”.

The gargoyle moved aside opening a pathway to a circular, moving, stone, staircase. Step by step Hermione climbed the moving stairs until she reached two large wooden doors. Right as she was about to knock the doors swung open revealing the Headmaster’s office.

It was a large circular room with spindly tables holding silver instruments whirring all around the tower. Books from Dumbledore’s private library lined the walls. The walls themselves were covered in portraits of old Headmasters and where there wasn’t portraits there were windows letting in beams of morning sunlight.

Albus Dumbledore was sitting in a large chair behind a rectangular desk. He smiled warmly as he spotted Hermione.

“Ah, Miss Granger, come in come in,” said Dumbledore waving her inside.

Hermione shuffled out of the doorway and made her way to the desk. She sat in the chair opposite Dumbledore and waited for him to speak again.

“In my letter I stated that you did not have to rush over here if you did not wish to,” he said with his eyes peering over his half-moon spectacles at Hermione.

“Yes sir, however, I didn’t really have anything else to do…” she replied.

Dumbledore smiled, “I guess that is true. So why don’t we get right down to business?”

Hermione nodded and Dumbledore continued, “You are starting your sixth year at Hogwarts, or you should be in your own timeline. I see no reason for you to not continue your studies while you are here. That is, if we cannot find a way to send to back before September comes.”

“So you want me to be a student, Professor?” asked Hermione, raising her eyebrow.

“That is, if you are willing,” replied Dumbledore. “To be very honest, the chances of finding a way for you to go back to your current time before September seems very slim. This is very tricky magic we are dealing with. Time is not something that is meant to be tampered with.”

“Yes, I’m aware of that sir. During my third year I was given a time-turner to take more classes. I was told of the dangers of messing with time.”

Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled at this information. “You seem to be a very bright young witch, Ms. Granger. Not many thirteen year olds would be issued a time-turner. Then again, not many thirteen year olds would want to take extra classes.”

Hermione flushed, “Thank you, sir.”

“You may be aware of the dangers of changing things in the past by using a time-turner but that is for events that happened only hours ago. This is twenty years and could have drastic outcomes if not handled with care. Have you ever heard of Eloise Mintumble?”

“No sir, I haven’t” frowned Hermione.

“She was an unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries back in 1899. During that time, the Ministry was doing time traveling experiments. They believed that they could figure out a way to send people back in time for more than just a few hours, but to send people years into the past. Eloise Mintumble was the witch that they decided to send. They managed to send her back to the year 1402 where she became trapped. They had no way to bring her back. She spent a total of five days in 1402 but it was enough time for her to permanently damage parts of her timeline, and others,” said Dumbledore with a grave voice.

“Permanently?” asked Hermione, wide-eyed.

“Yes. They finally managed to bring her back to her current time however, her body had aged the five centuries she had been gone. It also seemed that twenty-five people, who were the descendants of the people she came in contact with, became un-born. They vanished from the present into nothingness. That is when the Ministry decided to stop experimenting with time travel.”

“So what you’re saying, Professor, is that I might age twenty years if I get sent back to my normal time… and other people might vanish?” asked Hermione.

Dumbledore leaned forward in his chair and started stroking his beard. “It is a possibility. It is helpful that you only traveled twenty years and not five centuries. That way you would not die if you did age. In the case of people vanishing, the way I see it is that if you do not purposely do something, knowing it will change the future, it should not do too much damage. I believe that the things you do most likely will not have any real effect on the future and things will happen as they should. Think of it as a stream. One ripple in the water might change things temporarily but eventually things return to how they should be. I do not wish to keep you locked up to prevent time from being altered. You just need to use precaution while you are here.”

“You said that they managed to bring her back. So that means it’s possible to send me back to 1996, right?” asked Hermione.

“There should be a way to do it. It would be very difficult. I will spend as much time as I need to make sure you return safely to your timeline. The Department of Mysteries should have records on how they got Eloise Mintumble back from 1402 however, I want to discover a way to send you back without aging you.”

“So until then I’ll just be living here at Hogwarts? I’ll be a student?”

“Yes. And I must urge you to not tell anyone that you are from the future. Do not give away any information about the future. Not to anyone, even myself.”

“But sir,” said Hermione remembering her conversation with Dumbledore the other day. “I’ve already told you things that have happened in my timeline.”

“That is fine, Miss Granger,” said Dumbledore waving his hand. “Just try not to say anything from here on out. I’m the only one that knows you’re from the future and it is imperative that it stays that way.”

“Where will everyone think I came from then?” asked Hermione.

“Ah, that is another matter I wished to discuss with you. We’ll have to create a cover story. One about who you are and why you are starting Hogwarts in your sixth year.”

Hermione sat back in her chair and began to think. She kept going over names should could use as a cover. Not to forget a reason to explain why she hasn’t been attending Hogwarts for the last five years but still knowing a great deal of magic. After a few minutes of thinking she looked up.

“I think I should keep most of my personal details the same. For example, I should still say that I’m muggle born with two dentist parents. I think to change that and create an entirely new persona might be too difficult to keep up. I might slip and say the wrong thing,” said Hermione.

Dumbledore smiled. “You have the chance to be anyone and yet you stay true to yourself. You are a remarkable young lady, Ms. Granger. Now, the matter of you not going to Hogwarts until now. I originally was thinking we could say you did private wizarding studies at home and your family did not wish for you to attend Hogwarts however, that contradicts with the fact that you are muggle born. We could say you were raised in England yet moved before you started your education. That way, you attended another wizarding school instead of Hogwarts and your family has recently moved back.”

“I think that might work, sir. I’d just have to do a lot of research on that school incase people question it,” said Hermione.

“Since Durmstrang does not accept muggle born students I think your best bet would to say you’re either from Beauxbatons Academy of Magic or from the Brazilian Wizarding School. Both are somewhat similar to our own school and curriculum,” mused Dumbledore.

Relief flooded Hermione’s head when Beauxbatons was mentioned. “Beauxbatons might be easier to get away with. I already know a great deal about them and it seems more believable to move to France and back rather than Brazil.”

“It is settled. You will be a transfer student from Beauxbatons,” smiled Dumbledore.

“It’s also a great reason for me to be here at Hogwarts over the summer. I can say I needed to take the O.W.Ls since they don’t take them until their sixth year!” beamed Hermione.

Dumbledore chuckled. “Speaking of the O.W.Ls, you must have just taken them in your time yet we’ll never find out what your scores are for another twenty years.”

“That’s terrible! I studied so hard! How will I know what classes to take?” said Hermione looking horrified. “Could I take them again this summer?”

“If you’d like to I can arrange that to happen. Would a month’s preparation be sufficient?”

“Yes, that’s plenty of time, sir,” replied Hermione

“On that note I think we should end this meeting. I’ll have course syllabuses made up for you in case the curriculum differs from the one you know in 1996. That way you can study and go over what you need to since you do not have your notes on you. I shall send for you at a later point.”

“Thank you professor,” said Hermione as she stood up. “For everything”.

She turned and started to leave the office. As she was approaching the doors something popped into her head and she whirled around.

“My wand!” she gasped.

“Ms. Granger?”

“I haven’t got a wand anymore,” replied Hermione

“I will see if your wand has already been made. If so I will borrow it until you return to your old time. That way it will still be at Ollivander’s when you go to purchase it when you’re eleven. What wand is it?” asked Dumbledore.

“10 ¾", vine wood and dragon heartstring,” said Hermione in a small voice.

“Very well,” said Dumbledore. Hermione turned to leave when Dumbledore spoke again, “Oh and Ms. Granger?”

Hermione stopped and looked back, “Yes, sir?”

“Try to come up with a different last name by the end of today. I’d like to know what to introduce you as to the professors and I think it would be better to use a different name in this time period than your own surname.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you again for everything,” said Hermione as she rushed out the door.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

For the rest of that evening, Hermione spent her time looking through the course details and notes she had found waiting for her in the common room after she returned from Dumbledore’s office. Most of the material was surprisingly the same as it is in her time. Some of it actually seemed a bit simpler but that might just be because this was now her second time studying for the O.W.Ls.

Same as the day before, Dumbledore was sending food up to the Gryffindor common room. Shortly after dinner an owl from Dumbledore came with a note reminding her to come up with a new surname so he could talk about her with the other professors. It took Hermione a couple minutes and a few good pecks from the owl to realize it was not leaving without a response.

After thinking about names for a while, Hermione finally came up with a last name she did not hate. From now on, she would be Hermione Dawson: The muggle born witch that spent the last five years at Beauxbatons Academy. She quickly scribbled the name down for Dumbledore and gave it to the owl. With a hoot, the owl swooped out the window and was out of sight.

Hermione closed the window and went back to sitting in her favorite chair by the fireplace. She was happy to have course work to throw herself into to distract herself from how lonely she was feeling. Unfortunately the coursework did not distract her from everything. Hermione could not stop thinking about Eloise Mintumble and how she had aged the amount of time she had been gone. Would she really age twenty years if Dumbledore found a way for her to return to 1996? She also couldn’t help shake the feeling that she might be responsible for certain people being un-born. She would have to be extremely careful when it comes to the school year.

After a few hours of studying, worrying, and a small amount of dozing by the fireplace, Hermione found that she was exhausted. She went up to the dormitory and collapsed in her bed and quickly fell asleep, hoping that maybe tomorrow things will start to look brighter.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4 - The Never-Ending Summer

The next day around lunchtime Hermione made her way back to Dumbledore's office. When she arrived and opened the door she realized that he was not alone. Sitting across from him was a woman in emerald green robes with her black high tied into a bun. She seemed to be in a deep conversation with Dumbledore and Hermione immediately realized she should have knocked. Hermione took a step back to give them privacy when the floorboards creaked. The woman stopped talking turned to look at Hermione and revealed a stern looking face.

"Professor McGonagall?" gasped Hermione. She looked the same yet entirely different. There was still that strict look in her eyes, but her face seemed softer and younger.

Professor McGonagall's eyebrow raised at Hermione's remark and Dumbledore bowed his head giving Hermione a warning look. Hermione cleared her throat and quickly tried to correct herself.

"Sorry, you must be Professor McGonagall. Professor Dumbledore told me I'd be meeting you today," quickly lied Hermione as she walked across the room to shake Professor McGonagall's hand.

"Did he now?" asked McGonagall. She stood up to shake Hermione's hand and sent a quizzical look towards Dumbledore.

"I'm Hermione Dawson," Hermione said with a small smile.

Professor McGonagall looked her up down as if she were trying to figure something out.

"It is very nice to meet you Miss Dawson. I had heard from portraits that we had a student staying here over the summer and I suppose the rumors are true. It is nice to finally be introduced to you. Professor Dumbledore was just telling me that when you arrived the Sorting Hat placed you into Gryffindor?" McGonagall's eyes drifted to the shelf behind Dumbledore's desk.

Hermione's eyes followed McGonagall's and saw the Sorting Hat sitting on the top shelf.

"Ah, yes. I was sorted into Gryffindor," said Hermione, returning her glance back to Professor McGonagall.

At that, Professor McGonagall smiled.

"We need more Gryffindor girls. In case Professor Dumbledore failed to mention it, I'm the Gryffindor Head of House. I am also the Transfiguration professor so you will be seeing a lot of me."

"I look forward to it, professor," smiled Hermione. It was comforting that her favorite professor was here with her in this timeline. Even if she had no idea who Hermione was. If she was going to make it through this, Hermione would have to find as much comfort in the small things as she could.

Dumbledore looked at the two of them with a hint of a smile before speaking again. "As I was telling you, Minerva. Miss Dawson here is an incoming sixth year transferring from Beauxbatons Academy. She is spending the summer here so she can take the O.W.L before term begins. Being that Beauxbaton takes their Ordinary Wizarding Level exams after their sixth year and not fifth."

"That's wonderful," replied McGonagall. She turned to Hermione with a smile. "Which courses will you be taking your examinations for?"

"Well, I plan on taking it for Transfigurations, Charms, Potions, History of Magic, Arithmancy, Herbology, Defence Against Dark Arts, Care of Magical Creatures, Study of Ancient Runes, and Astronomy. Those are the subjects I've been studying.

McGonagall looked taken aback. "All of those courses?"

"Yes, but I'm very certain that I can handle them," said Hermione with confidence.

"I'm sure you can, Miss Dawson" replied McGonagall narrowing her eyes. There was a slight hint of suspicion in them and Hermione swallowed. "Anyway, I must be going now. If you need anything while you stay here do not be hesitant to ask."

"Yes, thank you, Professor."

Professor McGonagall strode towards the door and turned back towards Dumbledore. "Albus," she nodded.

"Have a wonderful day, Minerva," chimed Dumbledore as Professor McGonagall closed the doors behind her.

Hermione waited a moment before sitting down across from Dumbledore. "Do you think she was suspicious, sir?"

"Professor McGonagall is very inquisitive but she is not nosey. She trusts me so there should not be a reason for her to try to find out if you have a secret if she thinks I am in on it," said Dumbledore. "But I do have good news, Miss Granger."

"I could use some good news…" mumbled Hermione.

Dumbledore chuckled, "I was able to get in contact with Mr. Ollivander and he has, in fact, already made your wand. He sent it over this morning."

Dumbledore opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a long box and handed it to Hermione. With wide eyes, she took it and carefully opened the box. Inside was the wand she purchased when she was eleven. It was the first thing that finally made her feel like a witch. The first thing that finally made her feel special.

Hermione reached into the box and gripped her wand firmly in her hand. A warm and powerful feeling spread through her body at its touch and tears came to her eyes.

"Thank you, Professor Dumbledore," sniffled Hermione with a choked laugh. "This really means a lot."

Dumbledore smiled warmly at her.

"I also have another thing here for you," he said while reaching into his desk drawer once again. He pulled out a small brown pouch and placed it on his desk in front of Hermione.

"What's this?" asked Hermione staring at the pouch and then back at Dumbledore.

"It's money for you to use while you are here. This is just a small portion of it."

"Oh no, sir, I can't!" gasped Hermione.

"Please, Hermione," smiled Dumbledore. "It's extra Hogwarts funds that are meant to be spent on students in need. You certainly cannot expect me to let you walk around forever in the same clothes you were found in and one set of robes."

Hermione looked down at the clothes she was wearing and frowned.

"Furthermore, your clothes do not exactly look like they belong in this time. The money is also for books and whatever else you need. I will issue you an allowance once a month to keep you settled and comfortable."

He picked up the pouch of coins and handed it to Hermione who took it tentatively.

"Thank you, sir," muttered Hermione. She felt awful about taking handouts, but there was nothing else she could do. She obviously needed a new set of clothes.

"Now, since you are not technically a student as of yet, you are free to leave Hogwarts Grounds as you please. Hogsmeade is at your disposal. Just remember what I said yesterday. Try not to standout and be careful about what you say to people."

"Yes, Professor Dumbledore. I understand."

"I will not try to bother you for the duration of your stay this summer. You need to both study and relax. You have a lot to adapt to. I will usually be in my office if you need me and I am also here if you just want a familiar face to talk." Dumbledore was smiling warmly at her but there was something strange in his expression. Pity was glistening in his eyes.

"I'll pay you back for the money, sir."

"Nonsense, Miss Granger. Just remember this while you are here; you have the entire castle to yourself. Try not to hide away in the common room. The library is open as well as the locker rooms for the Quidditch pitch, if you so wish. Try to make the best of it."

And Hermione was going to do just that.

~o~

Later that day, Hermione left the castle and started to make her way to Hogsmeade. It was absolutely beautiful out. It wasn't too hot and the sky was clear and blue. As she walked, a warm breeze ruffled through her uncontrollable hair making it messier but she didn't mind. She was alone with her own thoughts while admiring the scenery around Hogwarts and Hogsmeade. The walk was the first time since she left 1996 that she felt at peace.

There didn't seem to be many people about in Hogsmeade. At least not people of Hogwarts age, that is. Hermione held her head up high as she walked through the village and tried her best to try not to stick out. She spent a good portion of the afternoon shopping at Gladrags Wizardwear searching for new clothes and robes to buy. After she was content with what she bought, she went back out to the main rode of Hogsmeade.

She took her time walking up and down the road and looked into the windows of the shops. It was amazing to see how familiar the small town was to her. Her initial thought of Hogsmeade looking the same as it did in her time was spot on.

It wasn't until she passed the Hogshead that a wave of sadness passed through her. Only just a few months ago her, Harry, Ron, and all their other friends had created Dumbledore's Army in that very pub. Her stomach seemed to tighten as she longed to go inside and look around but she remembered Dumbledore's warning: Don't stick out. She'd stick out like sore thumb if she walked in there. Instead, she continued to stroll around Hogsmeade.

After a while of walking around, Hermione went into the Three Broomsticks. Compared to the rest of Hogsmeade, it seemed crowded, but its warm interior was still a comfort to Hermione. She maneuvered though pub and ordered a Butterbeer at the bar and then made her way over to the table that she, Harry, and Ron would usually sit at and she closed her eyes. Memories flooded into her brain of the two boys. It hurt to think about them and how there's a chance she'd never see them again if Dumbledore couldn't figure out how to get her home. Her boys… The only real friends she ever had. Ron's face flashed in her mind and her heart started to ache.

With Harry and Ron on her mind, Hermione grew more determined than ever to figure out what had happened to her. She got up from her table and left the Three Broomsticks and walked up the path and back to the castle.

When she arrived, she ran up the flights of stairs and into the Gryffindor Common Room and dropped her bags off in her dormitory before returning to the Grand Staircase. She made her way to the library and spent the rest of the night painstakingly researching time travel and trying to find something that would give her a shred of hope to let her know that one day, maybe, she'd be able to return home to the people she cared about.

That first night endlessly researching in the library was long but it did not compare to the following weeks. The first month alone at Hogwarts was the loneliest Hermione had ever felt. Before Hogwarts, she never really had many friends and usually spent time by herself, and yet she never felt as utterly alone as she did now. So, she did the only thing she knew to pass the time: Study. Almost all over her free time was spent in the library. Whether she was researching time travel or studying to retake her O.W.L exams, the library was where she was most content.

She met with Dumbledore a few more times over the first month as he introduced her to more professors. It helped that some of her professors were the same as during her time such as Professor McGonagall, Professor Flitwick, Professor Sprout, and Professor Binns. Unfortunately, Hermione had a feeling that Professor Binns was probably just as boring twenty years ago as he was in her time.

During the week of her O.W.L retakes, the only thing on her mind was throwing herself into her work. Dumbledore must have had a decent amount of pull with the Ministry because he was able to oversee and administer the O.W.L exams himself. It felt odd not having the Ministry proctors like last time – less official feeling – but there was a slight comfort in the familiarity of Dumbledore being there. Each of her written exams seemed to fly by. It also helped that she was the only one taking the exams. Instead of having to stay and wait for everyone else to finish, she was able to leave as soon as she was done. The practical exams went by just as quickly for that same reason.

The next few weeks dragged on for Hermione. With her exams behind her, she just spent most of her time researching time travel. She had practically spent every second of free time in the library and she had not even read half of the books in the library on the subject. She still wasn't any closer to finding a way home.

A week before term started Hermione received her O.W.L results from Dumbledore. Nine Os and one E for Defence Against the Dark Arts. She'd have to thank Umbridge for that one. But she was pleased nonetheless, and it gave her a small sense of pride to hang on to.

The rest of the week flew by compared to the rest of the summer. The night of August 31st Hermione laid in her four-poster bed, staring at the ceiling. She had no idea what to expect of tomorrow when the students arrived. Her nerves were eating her alive but she felt that there was something else she was feeling. Excitement? Well, whatever it was, it caused her not to be able to sleep.

After a while she grew restless. She pulled herself out of bed and slid her feet into her new slippers, grabbed her robes, and stole out of the common room. It was after midnight and the castle was dark and cold. The torches in the hallways were dimmed and most of the light came from the moonlight shining in through the windows.

She doubted anyone would care if they spotted her out this late and she didn't care if someone did see her. She just wanted to walk around to clear her head, and this may have been the last chance she'd have to freely do so. Technically there wasn't a curfew yet since term hadn't started, so there was nothing anyone could do.

She just walked and walked, alone with her own thoughts, when she realized that she was on the seventh floor near the Room of Requirements. Tears filled her eyes and she smiled thinking of the memories of Dumbledore's Army with all of her friends. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears. Thinking of all of them was too painful.

I just want to go home… she thought miserably.

When she opened her eyes a door had appeared on the wall in front of her. Hermione gasped at the sight of it. It wasn't the usual door that they used when they had D.A practices but there was no mistaking what the door was. It was a door Hermione would never forget.

After a moment's hesitation, Hermione grabbed the doorknob and pushed it open.

The smell was what she recognized first. She inhaled the aroma of her favorite spiced tea, scented candles, and a hint of lemon furniture polishing. The room was an exact replica of the sitting room of her home. This time Hermione couldn't control her tears. She choked out a sob and slowly walked around the muggle home she had grown up in with her parents.

Everything was exactly the same. There were pictures of her from over the years on top of the piano and above the fireplace. Pictures of her parents' smiling faces. They were completely still just like all the pictures muggles took and to Hermione that was perfect. As she walked around the room, she stroked the furniture just to feel if it felt the same, and it did.

She walked down the hallway and saw her bedroom door. Opening the door slowly, she sighed as she entered her lilac room. On the table next to her bed was the only magical picture she had. It was a framed picture of her, Ron, and Harry, sitting on the floor in Ron's room at the Burrow. Harry and Ron were playing wizard's chess while Hermione was reading a book. It showed the three of them deeply involved in what they're doing until they realized Ginny was taking their picture. The three of them looked up at the same time and started to smile and laugh at the camera.

Hermione picked up the frame and held it close to her chest and she sat down on her bed. Tears continued to spill down her face. The crying and walking around had exhausted her and she didn't want to leave the comfort of her bedroom from home. Kicking off her slippers, she removed her robe, and crawled under the covers. Carefully, she placed the picture frame back on the side table, along with her wand, and quickly fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5 - Unexpected Classmates

Hermione woke up with a start. She pulled her head up and for a second was confused by her surroundings. She was in bed at home.

It must have all been a nightmare, she thought with relief. Taking a deep breath, she tried to laugh the nightmare off. Then she got a glimpse of the calendar hanging above her desk and turned back to the little blue clock on her nightstand and she sat up with a start. It was 10:00am on September 1^st. She was going to miss the Hogwarts Express.

With a small yelp, Hermione threw herself out of bed, grabbed her wand, and yanked her slippers on. She didn’t bother changing from her pajamas, she could change on the train. Her trunk sat packed at the foot of her bed and she grabbed it and ran out of the room. Thank goodness she was already packed and ready to go. Why hadn’t her parents woken her up? Surely they knew what day it was.

“Mum! Dad! I’m going to miss the train!” Hermione yelled as she ran from her room and entered the sitting room, but she was surprised to see that it was empty.

Hermione put down her trunk and ran into the kitchen but found it empty as well.

“MUM! DAD?” called Hermione yet, they were nowhere to be seen.

Hermione’s heart hammered in her chest. Where could they have gone? On the granite kitchen counter she saw a notepad. She took a pen and ripped off a slip of paper and quickly scribbled a note:

Dear Mum and Dad,

I woke up late for the train and I have no idea where either of you are. I need to hurry to King’s Cross Station, there’s no time for me to wait for you (wherever you may be). I wish I could have said goodbye in person. I love you both loads and I’ll write as soon as I get to Hogwarts. I’ll see you for Christmas Holiday.

Much love,

Hermione.

With the note in hand, she stuck it to the refrigerator with a magnet and then ran back into the living room and grabbed her trunk. Behind her, the old grandfather clock chimed signaling that it was quarter past.

“Bloody hell…” moaned Hermione. Oh great, now she was starting to sound like Ron.

If she moved quickly enough, she might be able to take the London Underground to King’s Cross Station and make the train… if she was lucky. Forty-five minutes was definitely not a lot of time. How could she have been so stupid not to wake up early enough? And where on earth were her parents?

With her heart still pounding, she ran to the front door of her home, while tugging her trunk behind her, and swung it open and hurried through it. That’s when her trunk vanished.

Hermione looked down at her hand in astonishment and then looked up. Around her were stone walls with large windows letting in sunlight, not the small, quiet, London street she had grown up on. She was standing in the seventh-floor corridor outside of the Room of Requirement.

She turned around with just enough time to see the front door of her house disappear back into the wall. At first, Hermione was frozen where she stood with shock. Slowly, she sunk down to the floor and the shock turned into grief.

How could she have forgotten she was in the Room of Requirement? It was terrifying how real everything had felt in there. It explains why the trunk disappeared; it didn’t exist outside of the room. Her house didn’t even exist like that yet. None of it did.

The dream she thought she was having wasn’t a dream at all. The real dream was her believing, just for a few minutes, that she was home, safe and sound.

Her nightmare was still happening.

~o~

The rest of the day was spent with Hermione tidying up the common room and girls’ dormitory. Books were piled everywhere and some of her clothes were scattered around. She had let herself get a little too comfortable staying there alone. The thought of having to now share it with entirely new housemates was a drastically increasing fear.

Initially, Hermione wanted to stay away from the feast to not draw much attention to herself, but Dumbledore insisted. They came to the conclusion that Hermione would blend in with the students as they entered the castle instead of making an awkward and unnecessary grand entrance.

When the time came, Hermione left the common room in her school robes and made her way outside of the Great Hall. She stood behind a large suit of armor, out of sight, and waited.

After a few minutes, she could hear the echo of voices off the stone walls as students poured into the room and made their way through the large doors of the Great Hall. Hermione took a deep breath and walked right into the herd of students, completely unnoticed.

The Great Hall looked breathtaking for the feast. The ceiling, which was bewitched to resemble the sky, was a dark navy with streaks of purple. It was a cloudless night and the quarter moon was giving off a ghostly light. The stars twinkled above her with each step she took. Right below the sky, hundreds of candles floated around in midair giving the feeling that the Hall was glowing. Even after all the years Hermione spent at Hogwarts, its beauty never failed to fill her with wonder.

Not many people were there yet and Hermione wished she had waited a bit longer to enter so she didn’t look so obvious standing alone. A few people were looking at her with quizzical looks, so she quickly made her way close to the back of the Gryffindor table and sat down. More and more people came into the Great Hall and it started to fill up quickly.

“Do you mind if I sit next to you?” asked a kind voice from behind Hermione.

She looked around and saw a pretty girl about her age with dark red hair smiling at her. 

“Of course, you can sit wherever you’d like to,” replied Hermione. Something about this girl seemed very familiar but she couldn’t place her.

The girl’s smile widened and she sat down to Hermione’s right. Around them, the seats began to fill up but no one seemed to notice the two of them. The other students seemed too preoccupied with seeing their friends again.

“You’re Hermione, aren’t you?” asked the red-haired girl.

Hermione’s mouth fell open and she looked at the girl in shock before quickly closing her mouth.

“Don’t worry,” laughed the girl, seeing Hermione’s expression. “Professor Dumbledore pointed you out to me and told me you were a new transfer student. I’m one of the Gryffindor Prefects.”

“Oh!” said Hermione, “It’s nice to meet you.” She got a better look at the girl and noticed her bright green eyes. They were shaped like almonds, just like Harry’s—Oh!

“My name is Lily Evans,” she smiled and held out her hand.

Hermione’s heart was now beating very fast. She tried to hide her surprise as she shook Lily’s hand. She was talking to Harry’s mother! This could not be happening… The thought that there could be people she had heard of or knew in the future had foolishly never even crossed her mind.

“Hermione Dawson,” Hermione replied weakly. This was too much to take in and her head was spinning.

“So, you’re coming from Beauxbatons, right?” asked Lily.

Hermione just nodded.

“This must seem so strange to you,” sighed Lily. “We don’t normally get transfers here at Hogwarts. Occasionally an exchange student will come but we never permanently get a new student. Why did you transfer?”

“Erm— well, I grew up in England… But when I was ten my parents and I moved to Paris and so I received a letter to attend Beauxbatons instead of Hogwarts.” Hermione paused and Lily politely nodded, encouraging Hermione to continue. “At the end of last term my family moved back to England and I was given the option to either stay at Beauxbatons or to come to Hogwarts, and I’ve read so many great things about Hogwarts, so I decided that it was the best school for me to be at. It’s also a plus that everyone here seems to speak perfect English…” Hermione told her the story she had invented and hoped Lily wouldn’t be suspicious.

Lily just seemed to be in awe. “It was very brave of you to just up and switch school like that. That must be why you’re in Gryffindor.” Lily smiled and playfully nudged Hermione. To Hermione’s surprised, she actually smiled back at Lily.

Hermione was about to thank her when—

“Oi, Evans! It’s a new year, maybe now you’ll go out with me?” called a voice.

Lily groaned and rolled her eyes. Hermione turned to see a boy with untidy black hair and rectangular glasses sitting further up the table, grinning at them with his friends. Hermione’s mouth, once again, fell open. Even if she hadn’t already predicted who had spoken, Hermione would have known who he was in a heartbeat.

James Potter looked exactly like Harry. His hair stuck up in the back just as Harry’s did but, of course the biggest difference was the lack of green eyes and scar, but everything else was the same. Everyone always said Harry looked like his father but Hermione never really knew how much they did look alike. It was startling.

James saw Hermione gaping at him and he raised his eyebrow. “Evans, who’s your new friend?” he asked, the smile leaving his lips.

“Oh, leave me alone, James. You already bothered me on the train, do you really have to bother me now? We haven’t even been back for ten minutes yet,” replied Lily in a drained voice.

The boy next to James howled with laughter and James frowned. Hermione had a good idea who the laughing boy was. She craned to get a better look and saw that he had long thick black hair, which contrasted with his pale skin, and an extremely handsome face.

It had to be Sirius. He had a rugged charm about him and he looked fit and healthy with no signs of the gaunt looking man she had known in her time. The years he spent in Azkaban must have taken a bigger toll on his appearance than she thought. He looked so… so alive. That’s when Hermione remembered what had happened to Sirius right before she fell through time. She thought she was going to be sick.

“That’s James Potter and his best friend Sirius Black. They’re in our year. Practically inseparable, those two. I wouldn’t be surprised if they married each other once we leave Hogwarts,” snorted Lily. “They can be royal arses if you ask me. Remus is the only half decent one in their little group. He’s a Prefect, like me. Well, Peter isn’t so bad…”

Lupin and Peter! She turned back to Lily who was giving Hermione a half smile which soon dropped to a look of concerned when she saw Hermione’s face.

“Hermione, what’s wrong?” she asked quietly, leaning in towards Hermione.

What’s wrong? Well for one, she was stuck twenty years in the past with no way to go back. Now, to make matters worse, she was surrounded by people who she knew to be dead, emotionally wounded beyond repair, or a future Death Eater responsible for the previous two things. Why did she think she’d be able to do this?

But of course Hermione couldn’t tell Lily this. Instead, she just shook her head and tried to smile.

“It’s nothing, Lily. I’m just—everything is just so different… It’s a lot to take in. New school, new faces and names. I guess I’m feeling a little overwhelmed is all…”

Lily put her hand on Hermione’s shoulder and gave her a comforting smile. She looked like she wanted to say something else but was cut off when the doors of the Great Hall swung open.

Professor McGonagall lead a line of terrified looking first years into the room. Their eyes took in the beauty of the Hall with all of its torches and floating candles. They were all looking around in wonder. Hermione could see some of them mouthing “wow!” as they walked down the middle of the room. Many of them were pointing towards the bewitched ceiling that showed the clear night sky and all of its stars, taking in the magnificent sight for the first time.

As the first year students walked across the floor, Hermione used it as an opportunity to look back towards James. She was glad that he and Sirius were sitting closer to the front of the hall so it wasn’t obvious that she was trying to get a good look at them. Sitting across from James and Sirius was a smaller boy with mousy brown hair. He was round around the middle and had a pointed nose and his bulging eyes seemed to shift around nervously. Anger boiled within Hermione as she looked upon the younger Peter Pettigrew.

Applause exploded around the room, snapping Hermione’s attention back to the front of the hall. She looked up and saw the Sorting Hat bow to each of the four tables. She had been so far into her own head that she missed the Sorting Hat’s song. The first year sorting was about to begin. She looked around hoping that no one had seen her glaring at Peter and was relieved to see that no one seemed to pay her any attention. Everyone was focused on the sorting ceremony.

Professor McGonagall pulled out a roll of parchment and called out a name. A small, nervous looking, blonde boy walked up to McGonagall and sat on the stool. She placed the old brown Hat on his head and after a few moments it roared, “HUFFLEPUFF!”  The Hufflepuffs broke into a cheer as the boy leapt off of the stool and walked quickly towards the Hufflepuff table with a relieved smile on his face.

Hermione tuned out the rest of the applause throughout the sorting as she looked back at the boys. Next to Peter was a quiet looking boy with green eyes and sand colored hair. Remus Lupin looked far less shaggy than he did in her time. His face was youthful and lacked the lines and scars it would have in twenty years. His green eyes weren’t nearly as dull and pained looking. Hermione’s heart hurt as she looked at this boy that would grow up to be so wounded and alone. She remembered the distraught look on his face when he had found and woken her in the Department of Mysteries. He had just seen his only friend left die and yet his first concern had been to make sure she, Harry, and the rest of them were safe. This was a boy that would lose all of his friends in the world and yet become a man who strived to do the right thing and help others.

Her thought process was broken again when the entire Hall broke into an even louder applause. The sorting had ended and Professor Dumbledore had risen to his feet. There was a twinkle in his eyes as he looked out at all the students with a beaming smile.

“I would like to welcome back all of our returning student and, of course, welcome our newcomers to a fantastic year at Hogwarts!” Dumbledore smiled as he scanned the crowd. His gaze stopped briefly at Hermione and she could have sworn she saw him give her a small wink.

“Now, before I bore all of you about what is expected of you this year, let’s get down to something far more important!”

As if on cue, the tables filled up with delicious foods. Gasps could be heard by the first years and chatter broke out around the room. The feast had begun.

Hermione stared at the Marauders as they chatted and laughed while filling their plates.

“Don’t worry about them, Hermione. They aren’t really as bad as I said they are,” said Lily, misunderstanding Hermione’s curious gaze. She took a sip of pumpkin juice and smiled. “Just focus on how great the food is here!”

Hermione forced a smile back and started to spoon mashed potatoes onto her plate. She had to agree. The feast was wonderful. It felt nice to be back eating in the Great Hall instead of having food sent up to her while she was alone over the summer.

Lily was probably the friendliest person Hermione had ever met. She didn’t push Hermione for details on her transfer but instead spent the rest of the feast telling her what to expect out of Hogwarts and trying to get her to relax. Every now and then, Hermione would steal glances back at the boys and always found James staring at her and Lily with a look of confusion and curiosity.

When everyone had eaten until they couldn’t eat another bite, Dumbledore stood up.

“Ah, I hope all of you enjoyed our feast,” smiled Dumbledore, “but now we have to discuss a few things before your Prefects lead you back to your Common Rooms.

“Firstly, for all of you newcomers, I must warn you that the forest on the grounds is strictly forbidden. That goes for our returning students as well.” Hermione watched as Sirius grinned and nudged James who laughed. Remus smiled faintly at the two of them and slightly shook his head while Peter laughed nervously under his breath.

Dumbledore continued, “I need also remind you that magic is not permitted between classes in the corridors. I am also pleased to introduce Professor Felicia Warbeck who has graciously accepted to take over the Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons.”

There was a polite round of applause as an unfamiliar, short, middle-aged witch stood up. She had dark skin had curly brown hair with hints of grey in it. Her face looked kind but also gave the impression that she was not someone you would want to cross. She gave a small wave and smiled before sitting back down.

Lily leaned over to Hermione while she clapped. “It seems that every year we get a new Defense professor. It’s like the job is cursed or something,” whisper Lily while shaking her head slightly.

Hermione stayed quiet. She knew far too well how cursed the position was.

Dumbledore then spoke about Quidditch tryouts and how first years were not allowed their own broomstick. After that, he dismissed the school and everyone around Hermione started talking at once as they slowly began to climb out of their seats.

“Gotta go, Hermione,” said Lily who was already standing. She was making her way down the table. “Prefect duties!” she called back before she seemed to be swallowed up by the crowd of students.

She could hear Lily yelling “Gryffindor first years, follow me!”

Hermione was grateful for sitting at the end of the table. It meant that she was one of the first ones out of the Great Hall and into the stairwell. There was no one else in sight when she reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

“Arcanam Tempus,” said Hermione to the portrait.

“Not anymore it isn’t,” scoffed the Fat Lady.

The password must have changed when term began. Now she’d have to wait for someone else to come by.

“Need help?” asked a voice from behind her.

Startled, she jumped and turned around. She was staring into the green eyes of sixteen-year-old Remus Lupin. He was giving her a shy but friendly smile.

“I was— the— the password changed,” said Hermione pointing back at the Fat Lady. “I don’t know the new one.”

“Yes, it tends to do that,” replied Lupin in all seriousness. He smiled and walked past her and stopped in front of the entrance to the Common Room and said, “Owl Feathers.”

“Correct,” stated the Fat Lady and the portrait swung open for them.

“Ladies first,” said Lupin with a mock bow.

Hermione smiled and climbed through the portrait hole and into the warm and cozy Gryffindor Common Room. No one appeared to be there yet. She moved aside as Lupin climbed into the room behind her.

“Thanks for letting me in,” said Hermione. “While I was here over the summer the password was Arcanum Tempus. I guess I wasn’t fully aware it would change…”

“Ah, you must be Hermione Dawson then. I didn’t know that you had stayed over the summer,” said Lupin. “No wonder I hadn’t recognized you.”

“Yes, I stayed here to catch up on the Hogwarts curriculum before I started. Let me guess, Professor Dumbledore told you who I was?” said Hermione and young Lupin nodded, the corner of his mouth twitching. His face was actually quite pleasant to look at. She never really noticed what was under all of the scars and lines that he had. “You’re the other Prefect, right? Remus Lupin?”

“That’s right. I’m also a sixth year, like yourself.”

“Lily pointed you out to me at dinner.”

“Yes, I saw her sitting with you. She’s probably the best person for you to meet at Hogwarts. She’s unbelievably kind.”

“That must be why your friend likes her,” said Hermione.

At that, he started to laugh.

“Where is everyone anyway?” asked Hermione, looking around. The other Gryffindors weren’t that far behind her when she left.

“They probably got stuck behind all the first years. They’re usually fascinated by the castle so on the first night they tend to walk extremely slow,” replied Lupin with a shrug.

“Shouldn’t you be with the first year students?” asked Hermione all of a sudden. Her inner Prefect seemed to be coming out.

“Lily and I had a deal that she’d bring them up here and I’d show them around the common room,” said Lupin. He turned towards the portrait hole as if waiting for it to open. “In fact, they should be here any moment…”

“Well in that case, I’ll just show myself up to the girls’ dormitory.”

Lupin turned back to Hermione and frowned. “You don’t want to be here when the rest of the house gets here? I could introduce you to a lot of people.”

“No really, it’s fine. I’m exhausted anyway. This was a lot to take in all at once. It’s so different from what I’m used to,” said Hermione, not even having to lie.

“Oh, well if you need anything Lily and I are here…”

“Thanks,” said Hermione quickly and she started towards the stairs before turning around again. “Oh, Remus?” It felt odd calling him by his first name

He had sat down in an armchair by the fire, waiting for the students but his head shot up when she called his name. “Yeah?”

“Thanks again for letting me into the Common Room,” smiled Hermione. She hurried up the stairs and closed the dormitory door behind her.

~o~

Hermione was sitting on her bed going through her class books to make sure she had all of them together for when classes started tomorrow. She had the dormitory to herself for about twenty minutes before the door opened. Lily walked in along with a girl with dirty blonde hair braided down her back. When Lily saw her she smiled and waved, pulling the girl over to Hermione.

“Hey Hermione! This is Mary Macdonald. Mary meet Hermione Dawson,” said Lily.

“Nice to meet you, Hermione,” said Mary politely.

“Same to you, Mary,” replied Hermione.

There was an awkward pause and Mary gave Lily a confused look before returning her gaze to Hermione.

“Oh, right! Mary, Hermione just transferred here from Beauxbatons Academy. She’s been sorted into Gryffindor and is in our year,” explained Lily.

“Ah, I was wondering why there was a strange girl in our dormitory,” said Mary, smirking.

Lily turned back to Hermione and smiled. “For the past five years it’s just been Mary and me in this room. It’ll be nice to have another girl around.”

“It was just the two of you?” asked Hermione. She thought back to her own time when there had been five girls in her dormitory. It must have been a little strange only having two.

“Yeah, it was very quiet,” laughed Mary. She seemed friendly enough.

“Well, I just came up here to introduce Mary to you. We’re heading back downstairs for a little while. There’s always a little party the first night back,” said Lily. “You should come with us. I can introduce you to a bunch of other Gryffindors. I’m sure they’ll love you.”

“Thanks, but I think I’ll head to bed early. Today’s been a strange day for me…” Hermione smiled apologetically. “I’ll meet more people tomorrow.”

Lily tried to hide her disappointment. “Alright, I understand. We’ll be back up later to unpack our things. If you do decide you want to come, we’ll be right downstairs.”

Hermione waved as Mary and Lily left the room.

It sure had been a strange day… None of it seemed real. How could she be in school with Harry’s parents, Sirius, Peter, and Lupin? Well, she guessed she’d have to get used to referring to him as Remus. It would take a while for her to start feeling comfortable doing that. Before that day, she had only called him by his given name once, and that was when he was grieving in the Department of Mysteries. She shook the memory from her head.

 If all of these people were here as students with her that must mean… no… Snape must be a student here as well…

Hermione groaned and rolled over, stuffing her face in her pillow. She had no idea how she was going to get through tomorrow with her unexpected classmates. It would have been hard enough to have to explain herself to the students here, but she never expected to be explaining herself to people she will know in the future.

She moved off her bed and put her books away before changing into her pajamas and pulling her curtains shut before hopping back into bed. Sighing, she leaned over and blew out the candle next to her and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6 - Gossiping and Trolls

The next morning, Hermione was the first one to wake. The curtains were pulled shut around two of the beds and she could hear the faint sound of rhythmic breathing as the other two girls slept. The dormitory wasn’t fully lit, but through the window Hermione could see that the sun was slightly visible as it peaked over the horizon into the pink morning sky. Hermione silently dressed, trying not wake Lily or Mary, and left for breakfast with her school bag slung over her shoulder.

It was still early and the Great Hall was very quiet. Only a few small groups of people were there and they were spread across the four long tables, all looking very tired. Hermione sat down towards the middle of the Gryffindor table, away from any of the groups. She guessed that most people must still be asleep.

Lazily, she scooped up some eggs but just ended up pushing them around her plate. She didn’t feel like eating. Glancing upwards, at the ceiling, she saw that the sun still had barely risen but she was pleased to see that it was a clear day. There was nothing more depressing than having the first day of class on a miserable day. Then again, having the first day of class being stuck twenty years in the past seemed pretty awful. At least it wasn’t raining.

Hermione continued to mindlessly play with her food while more and more students made their way to breakfast. She wasn’t as lucky as the day before; people had started to notice her. They stared and whispered to each other, wondering who she was. She was obviously the main topic of discussion that morning. It was a chain reaction; the whisperers didn’t seem to make an attempt to hide their gossiping, causing more people to follow their glances towards her. It was as if she were on display. Hermione suddenly realized this must have been how Harry always felt.

Feeling her cheeks turning red, she looked down at her plate and tried to make her messy brown hair hide her face from view. It obviously wasn’t effective because a moment later she could see the feet of two people stopped in front of her.

She looked up to see Lily and Mary standing on the other side of the table.

“Can we join you?” smiled Lily. Her auburn hair was pulled out of her face with a headband making her green eyes seem even brighter.

“Sure,” said Hermione automatically. She didn’t really want company, but she had no idea how to turn the two girls away without sounding rude.

“You were asleep when we got back last night and then we woke up this morning to find you gone,” said Lily as she buttered a piece of toast.

“Yes, I woke up early and didn’t want to disturb you guys so I just came straight to breakfast,” shrugged Hermione, trying to sound casual.

“How was your first night at Hogwarts?” asked Mary. Her hair seemed more golden under the bewitched sky than it did in the candlelit dormitory the previous night.

“Oh, it wasn’t my first night,” said Hermione.

“It wasn’t?” asked Mary tilting her head to the side.

“No, I stayed here during the summer to take the O.W.L.”

“You were here alone? That sounds dreadfully boring if you ask me,” said Mary.

“It was but I didn’t have much of a choice,” stated Hermione.

Suddenly, hundreds of Owls swooped into the room and dropped letters and packages to their owners. Hermione half expected to see an owl carrying her copy of the Daily Prophet before remembering that she wouldn’t have a subscription in 1976.

At that moment, Professor McGonagall was going up and down the Gryffindor table handing out class schedules. A loud groan came from both James and Sirius down the table as they looked down at the parchment that they were each handed.

McGonagall had just reached the three girls and handed them their schedules and Hermione glanced at it curiously. At first she didn’t understand why the boys had groaned. The only class they had that morning was Transfiguration with the Hufflepuffs but as her eyes slid down the paper she saw why. After lunch they had potions with the Slytherins.

“Yes!” Lily looked up, beaming. “Our first class is Transfigurations!”

“That’s her favorite class,” smiled Mary. Lily did a small sort of dance in her seat and Hermione couldn’t help but grin.

“Transfigurations should be everyone’s favorite class!” said Lily. “You’ll love it too, Hermione.”

Mary was still looking at her schedule. “Potions shouldn’t be that bad. I wish we had it we had it with the Hufflepuffs though…”

“Oh, stop it, Mary,” said Lily rolling her eyes, but she was smiling. “It’ll be fine.”

The eggs that Hermione had been playing with were now cold, so she pushed them to the side and grabbed a banana muffin instead; she didn’t have much of an appetite. She nibbled on it as Lily and Mary ate their breakfasts.

“We should get going,” said Mary, standing up after they had finished eating. “I refuse to be late on the first day. McGonagall would skin us. You coming, Hermione?”

The three girls made their way out of the Great Hall. Hermione stayed a step behind Mary and Lily, who were chatting casually. She was feeling awkward and like a third wheel. It didn’t help that she kept remembering that Lily was Harry’s mother. Every time she looked her in the eyes she was given that reminder. Something about it always felt wrong.

When they reached the Transfiguration classroom, most of the students were already there. Eyes fell on Hermione and the students began to whisper to each other like they had at breakfast. She tried her best to ignore them as she took a seat next to Lily. Luckily for Hermione, Professor McGonagall demanded respect in her classroom, and the moment she stood up to begin teaching, silence fell and the class seemed to forget about Hermione. From that moment on, the class went by smoothly with only the occasional glance in her direction.

Lunch was the opposite. News must have already spread about Hermione being a new student because as soon as she and Mary walked into the Great Hall peoples’ heads turned. Unlike breakfast, it wasn’t just a few people looking. It seemed to be everyone. Hermione held her nose up high and tried to ignore the lot of them.

Lily had disappeared right after Transfigurations. She had promised she would meet a friend outside of their class and have lunch with them, so it was just Hermione and Mary. Not long after they sat down, a group of Hufflepuff girls called Mary over to sit with them.

“Do you mind, Hermione?” asked Mary nervously as she glanced over at the other girls.

“No, go sit with them, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure? I could stay, or you could come sit with us.”

“No really, Mary, I’ll be fine. Please, go sit with your friends,” smiled Hermione.

Mary gave Hermione a quick smile before crossing the Hall and joining her friends. Hermione welcomed the peace and quiet. When she was alone, she was able to pretend she was still in her time. The Great Hall was still the Great Hall and the food seemed to be the same. She would just have to concentrate on those things. No one was there to remind her that she was trapped in the past. Not James’ face looking like Harry’s, not Lily’s eyes, not—

“Dawson!” called a voice.

At first, Hermione ignored the voice, until she remembered that she was Dawson now. At least her surname was. The voice called out again and Hermione jumped a little and looked around trying to find the owner.

To her surprise, the voice had come from Sirius. He was sitting just a little further down the table staring at Hermione with a broad grin on his face. The other Marauders sat around him. Lupin and Peter both were staring politely at Hermione, but James’ face was almost unreadable. Almost.

It was a look Hermione knew far too well. She had seen Harry with that exact expression many times whenever he felt as if something were out of place. She wanted nothing more than to run up and throw her arms around him, but she had to keep reminding herself that he wasn’t Harry, even if he looked so much like him.

“Oi, Dawson!” Sirius called again, this time louder, causing more heads to turn and whispers to break out around the Hall.

James raised his eyebrow, just as he did last night, and Hermione realized she had just been staring at the four of them instead of responding.

“Y-yes?” Hermione choked out.

“Come sit over here. Remus here tells me you’re new and I’m all about making people feel welcomed,” said Sirius with a wink. Hermione looked at him in shock while Lupin sighed and shook his head.

“You’ll have to excuse my dear friend Sirius. But you are welcome to join us, you don’t have to sit alone, you know,” said Lupin in a friendly tone. He looked at his friends, “You wouldn’t mind, right guys?”

Peter shook his head vigorously showing that he was fine with it while James stayed silent.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind,” said Sirius with a wicked smirk. “Come on over!”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude…” said Hermione. In reality, she thought it would be incredibly bizarre to be eating lunch with the younger versions of James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin. Not to mention Peter…

“Nonsense,” scoffed Sirius.

“No really, I’m fine where I am. I was about to do a bit of reading before our next class started anyway,” said Hermione, reaching into her bag and pulling out one of her schoolbooks and holding it up to show him. “But thanks for the offer.”

Sirius dramatically put his hand to his chest and pretended to be wounded while Lupin laughed.

“Sorry mate, guess she isn’t that into you,” he said to Sirius. He gave Hermione a smile and the boys returned their glances to each other.

The book she had pulled out was A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration. Maybe they’d think she was getting a head start on their homework. She flipped to a random chapter and stared down at the page, not really reading. She was more focused on listening to the private conversation the boys started having a few feet away.

“She seems nice…” said Peter quietly.

“She is nice, I told you that last night, remember? When I said I had spoken to her after the feast?” said Lupin.

“If she’s so nice why didn’t she come sit over here,” pouted Sirius.

“It might be because you came on a little strong,” said Lupin. “The girl just got here and you’ve already flirted with her.”

“But no one can resist my charms!” replied Sirius.

“I have to agree with Padfoot on this one,” said James quietly. Out of the corner of her eye, Hermione saw the three other boys stared at him in disbelief.

“Uh, James? I think Sirius might have been joking,” Peter said slowly.

“That’s because I was,” said Sirius.

“I don’t know,” said James. He had dropped his voice even lower and Hermione was straining to listen. “Something about her doesn’t seem right.”

“What do you mean?” asked Sirius with a look of confusion.

“Look around you. How many transfers do you see? Hogwarts doesn’t do transfer students.”

“Well they obviously seem to do transfers now if she’s here,” replied Lupin, the corner of his lip twitching.

“I don’t know…” said James. His hand went through his hair making it even messier. “Didn’t you see how she was looking at us last night? It was like she’d seen a bloody ghost…”

“I think you need to calm down, mate,” said Sirius. “She seems perfectly normal to me.”

“What do you know about ‘normal’, Sirius?” smirked Lupin.

“That’s rich come from the one with the furry little problem, aye Moony?” replied Sirius with an odd attempt to wiggle his eyebrows.

“Keep your voice down!” hissed Lupin.

Hermione tried her hardest not to turn and watch them. Still looking from the corner of her eye, she could see Lupin quickly checking his around him to make sure no one heard. No one had, except for Hermione, but she didn’t really think it mattered since she already knew he was a werewolf. Of course, they didn’t know she knew that.

“I’m still suspicious,” said James crossing his arms.

“What on Earth are you suspicious of?” asked Sirius.

“She just seems so… comfortable here. It’s the first day of classes and she’s so relaxed. She didn’t even seem frightened of McGonagall during Transfigurations! Everyone is frightened of McGonagall when they first meet her! Plus, she walks around here like she knows the castle,” said James.

“McGonagall isn’t as scary to us older students though, mate,” said Sirius.

“And she did spend the summer here,” Lupin reminded him. “She would have gotten comfortable staying here.”

“You know what I mean, Remus,” said James rolling his eyes. “It takes forever to know your way around here. Yet, she seems a hell of a lot more comfortable here than Wormtail does, and he’s been here for the past five years.”

“Hey!” squeaked Peter, his cheeks flared with color.

“Sorry Peter, you know what I mean,” said James.

“James, it’s only been a day,” said Lupin.

“Plus she seems to be friendly with Evans. Evans wouldn’t hang out with anyone she thought was up to no good. It’s the main reason she refuses to date you,” said Sirius.

James considered this for a moment before frowning and shaking his head. “I’m telling you, Hermione being here seems wrong. I don’t trust it and I don’t think you guys should trust her either. Not just yet.”

Having heard enough, Hermione slammed her book shut and stood up from the table. Startled, the four boys’ heads shot up and watched her as she stormed out of the Great Hall with her bag in tow.

“I think she heard you, mate,” said a voice but she couldn’t make out whether it had been Sirius or Lupin, nor did she care. It was like being back in her first year and hearing the awful things Ron would say about her to Harry. The only difference was that she doubted a giant troll would be set loose and get them to become friends.

Hermione walked alone to the Potions classroom in the Dungeons once the lunch period had ended. When she arrived she saw that everyone was split into partners and was sharing a cauldron. Towards the middle of the room she saw Mary waving her over to join her. It surprised her that Lily wasn’t partnered with Mary, she wondered who Lily had joined.

After she sat down Hermione’s eyes scanned the classroom and spotted a glimpse of dark red hair sitting at the last table in the front row. She seemed to be engrossed in a conversation with her partner.

In the chair next to Lily sat a pale looking boy with long, greasy, black hair and a hooked nose. Hermione’s stomach seemed to drop. It was only a matter of time before she ran into young Snape, but she certainly did not expect to see him next to Lily. Hermione just stared. He seemed so much more vulnerable and youthful but there was still something about him that seemed like he’d be a bit of a git.

Almost as if he knew she was thinking about him, he turned to face her and his dark eyes pooled into her brown ones. His eyes didn’t seem as dangerous as they would be but there was still something frightening about them. He turned and whispered something to Lily and she turned and saw Hermione. Her face broke into a grin and she waved. It was strange, Lily was like a glowing ball of light and Snape was… well, Snape…

On the other side of the room sat James. He was also staring at Snape and Lily but with a mixture of disgust and confusion. His eyes drifted to Hermione and his face softened. It was now Hermione’s turn to raise an eyebrow at him but he turned away from her and looked down at his Potions textbook. She didn’t have much of an opportunity to dwell on the situation because at that moment the professor walked into the room.

Potions was not nearly as bad as it had been in her time. It was actually quite enjoyable. Professor Slughorn seemed to be the opposite of Snape. Not just in appearance but in personality as well. Slughorn was probably around 5ft tall and he was incredibly fat. His bald head was shiny and seemed to reflect light from the torches, making his head look like it was glowing, and his great white mustache caused him to reassemble a walrus. However, he had a kind look in his eyes and seemed to genuinely enjoy teaching.

It was odd comparing him to Snape when the younger version of Snape was sitting only a few desks away. Hermione couldn’t stop watching Lily and Snape working together throughout the class. She could have sworn she actually heard Lily giggle and saw a faint smile appear on Snape’s thin lips. Was he the friend Lily went to have lunch with? Hermione wondered if Harry had any idea that the man that seemed to hate him so much was friends with his mother.

She had a feeling it was something that Harry would probably be better off not knowing.

Later that night, Hermione was curled up in her favorite squishy armchair by the roaring fireplace in the Gryffindor Common Room. It was almost 9pm and she had her Transfigurations textbook on her knees and was silently reading the chapter that had been assigned for homework.

The first day of classes must have taken its toll on many of the students because the Common Room was almost deserted. There was a small group of second years playing Wizard’s chess at a table by the stairs but other than that, Hermione was alone.

Incoming voices were coming from the portrait hole, they seemed to be laughing. Seconds later, Lupin walked in followed by Sirius, James, and then Peter, barely making curfew. Lupin gave her a friendly wave while Sirius elbowed James and tilted his head in her direction. Their eyes met and James stopped walking.

“Hey, I’ll meet you guys up there,” said James to his friends.

“Alright, mate,” said Sirius. He and Lupin immediately walked away but Peter hesitated, he seemed to want to stay with James.

“Go, Peter, I’ll be right up,” said James as Hermione slowly closed her book. Peter sighed and quickly wobbled away, trying to catch up with his friends.

“Do you need something, James?” asked Hermione trying to keep her tone neutral. She felt like a verbal attack was coming and she was not in the mood.

James sighed and walked closer to the armchair Hermione was sitting in.

“Look,” said James, “I wanted to apologize.”

Hermione gave him a hard stare. “Apologize for what?”

“You know… about what I said earlier in the Great Hall…” said James, glancing to the floor.

“Oh, the part where you said that me being here was strange and that I shouldn’t be trusted?” asked Hermione, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, that part,” mumbled James still staring at the ground.

“Maybe I should apologize,” started Hermione. “Obviously me just being here has threatened you in some way.”

James looked back up and his hazel eyes narrowed. “Maybe you should apologize! For eavesdropping!”

“It isn’t eavesdropping if I keep hearing my name come up in a conversation happening at the same table I happened to be sitting at, James,” said Hermione, rolling her eyes.

It was taking all of Hermione’s willpower not to just snap at James. She had to deal with an angsty Harry all of last year, she would not repeat the same thing with his father. As soon as that thought crossed her mind she realized how weird it sounded and she frowned.

“Well, you have to admit that you just showing up here is a little suspicious. Hogwarts doesn’t just let new people in for their sixth year,” said James.

“Maybe you could have asked me about why I was here instead of turning your friends against me. You don’t even know me James,” snapped Hermione. She pulled her legs out from under her and sat up straighter in her chair. “None of your friends seem to have a problem with me, why do you?”

James looked taken aback. “I just want to protect my friends!”

“From what? From me?” she had no idea what James was getting at.

“Yes, from you!” yelled James. The group of second years looked up and saw James getting pink in the face. They quickly scrambled to clean up their chessboard and then ran up the spiral staircase and out of sight.

“What do you possibly think I’m here to do, James?” demanded Hermione. She had stood up from her chair and was facing James. He was tall, almost the exact same height Harry was.

“I’m. Not. Sure.” growled James. He huffed in frustration. “All I know is that you come here and you know your way around and you stare at us like you know us. I saw the look you gave us when you saw us last night. It was as if you recognized us. Then there was how you looked at Peter, like you despised him!”

Hermione willed herself not to turn pink. So she hadn’t been as inconspicuous as she had thought. She would have to work on that. But she was still angry at all the unwarranted accusations.

“It was because you look like my best friend!” yelled Hermione. Tears were building in her eyes now and her vision was slightly blurred as she stared at James. “It startled me and it reminded me that I may not see him again for a very long time! Or my other friends! Haven’t you thought about how hard all of this might be for me? I’m new here and, maybe you haven’t noticed, I’m friendless! Sure, Mary and Lily talk to me but everyone already has their group of friends and then there’s me, with nobody! You know me for one day and what do you go and do? You tell people that I shouldn’t be trusted!”

Hermione was now very close to breaking down and sobbing. James seemed to notice this because he unclenched his fists and the anger in his face evaporated. He took a step forward, towards Hermione, and awkwardly extended his arm before letting it fall back down to his side.

“I’m… I’m sorry Hermione… It’s just… bad things have been happening. These aren’t the safest times and I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to the people I care about,” said James. His voice had gotten considerably softer. “I don’t really know who to trust anymore.”

“I’m not asking you to trust me, James. I barely know you. I’m just asking for you to give me a chance,” Hermione said while wiping her eyes. She definitely understood where he was coming from.

There was a short pause where the two of them just stared at each other.

“You said I could ask you about why you came here, care to tell?” he asked softly.

“No,” said Hermione. She gathered up her books in her arms and stuck her nose in the air. “I don’t think you deserve it. Maybe some other time when you’re being nicer.”

She walked directly past James towards the spiral staircases. Sirius, Lupin, and Peter were all listening from the stairs to the boys’ dormitories, and when they saw her coming they quickly scattered but Hermione pretended not to notice them. She got one last glimpse of James before she went into her dormitory. There was a satisfied look in his eyes and he had the smallest of smiles upon his lips.

Maybe that had been their troll after all.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7 - Uncertainties

As the first week of classes ended, Hermione was feeling more relaxed. The longer she was there the less people seemed to care, so she was able to walk down corridors and sit in the Great Hall without hearing whispers and seeing people watching her. The novelty of “the new girl” must have worn off. Although, that didn’t stop certain people from asking her nonstop questions.

James had been perfectly friendly ever since their little argument and Hermione had forgiven him pretty quickly. It was very possible that if there had been a new student during her time, Harry would have reacted like James had. She was sure that she, Ron, and Harry would have had a very similar conversation if they suspected that the newcomer was untrustworthy in any way. It was true, Hogwarts didn’t just get new transfer students, and it was suspicious. Hermione just hoped that people would accept it and not do any digging.

Not only had he been friendly, but James was also constantly inviting her to join him and his friends. It might have been a guilty conscience, but Hermione had a feeling it had to do with him wanting to learn more about her.

“Tell us again why you decided to transfer to Hogwarts.”

Hermione sighed. She was sitting in the Great Hall for a late lunch that Saturday. There wasn’t as many selections of food at this hour but Hermione didn’t mind. She wasn’t that hungry anyway and was preoccupied with a book.

Only a handful of people were scattered around the Great Hall so when the four boys entered the hall. It didn’t take them long to spot her sitting alone and they took it upon themselves to join her.

She had been trying to keep her distance from them but it seemed that the more she tried to avoid them, the more they tried to interact with her. This seemed especially true with James and Sirius, and now here they were.

James had only been sitting across from her for less than five minutes before he started asking questions again. His questions were getting a tad bit annoying and she regretting welcoming him to ask her anything to calm his nerves. It wasn’t the asking part that bothered her, it was the fact that he continued to ask the same questions over and over again.

“I already told you, James,” sighed Hermione.

Hermione flipped the page in the book she had been trying to read before they interrupted her.  She was a little annoyed that they had found her. It wasn’t like she was hiding, she just didn’t expect many people to be in the Great Hall towards the end of the lunch period. It was one of the main reasons she came towards the very end. It was especially annoying since it was such a beautiful day. According to the enchanted ceiling above her, there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky, which was rare. Most of the students were outside enjoying the weather, but not James, Sirius, Lupin, and Peter. No, they were there inside the Great Hall, bothering her.

Lupin was sitting next to her while the other three boys were sitting across the table, with James in the middle. Hermione was very happy that Peter had not been the one that had chosen to sit next to her. His company was incredibly uncomfortable. Not just because Hermione hated him for what he will end up doing in the future, but because every time the Marauders tried to talk to her, he was just there staring and listening, never speaking his own mind. Like he was some kind of puppet or something.

“I’ve forgotten,” replied James crossing his arms and smirking. He was really enjoying this.

Hermione narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms, mimicking James. “What exactly do you want to know?”

“Well for starters,” said James, sitting up straighter, “I don’t understand why you would just leave the school you’ve spent the past five years at. I get that your family moved to France and back, but you said that you had the choice to stay at Beauxbatons. I could never just leave Hogwarts like that.”

“I felt like I’d belong better at Hogwarts with me being British and all,” said Hermione with a shrug.

Luckily, she had prepared for these kinds of questions. While she stayed at Hogwarts over the summer she had read as many books that mentioned Beauxbatons that she could find. Dumbledore had even held sessions to help her come up with a convincing story that people would believe. She had rehearsed this story so many times in her head until it felt second nature to her, and the words just seemed to flow.

“There were so many different accents and languages being spoken. Even though the school is in France it admits students from Spain, Portugal, Luxembourg, Belgium, and the Netherlands, not just France,” said Hermione. “They speak mostly English, and a lot of French, but I never felt entirely comfortable there. Especially since my French has never been very strong, I can speak it but I’m not completely fluent. I was always afraid of messing up and sounding stupid. Plus I read a lot about Hogwarts and it seemed like a better fit for me. I didn’t make the decision lightly.”

James sat there and considered what Hermione said. He nodded slightly as he thought of what he would say next.

“What about friends? Didn’t you have any friends that you had to leave behind by coming here?” asked Lupin in a kind voice.

It almost sounded as if he pitied her, and for a second she hesitated. Hermione didn’t like to think about Harry and Ron, it hurt her to do so. It also wasn’t as though she could really tell them anything about her friends since they all will know them in some way or another in the future.

“Well…” started Hermione, “I wasn’t the most popular person at school, but I had two great friends that I would do anything for.”

“What were their names?” asked Lupin curiously.

“Henry and Rory,” answered Hermione automatically. She knew coming up with alternate names for people in her time would come in handy.

“Your two best friends were boys, eh?” said Sirius with a wink.

Hermione rolled her eyes at Sirius. “I was also starting to get close to Rory’s sister, Jenny. She was a year below us.”

“Seems like you like hanging out with guys,” said Sirius with a cheeky smile, “Have a boyfriend?”

Hermione’s stomach seemed to drop and her mouth became suddenly dry. She took a quick sip from her water goblet and shook her head. There was no denying that she had started to grow feelings for Ron over the years, but she didn’t fully understand what they meant or what she meant to Ron.

Sirius’s grin widened. “That head shake wasn’t very convincing, Dawson.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend, no,” said Hermione, again, shaking her head slightly, “There was a time when I thought I’d end up with… with Rory, but I don’t think that will ever happen now…”

She looked down at the table as a small force seemed to press on her chest. She honestly did believe that one day she and Ron would end up together, but now that she was stuck twenty years in the past it didn’t seem likely. If she stayed here too long it could ruin their non-existent relationship. Well, that is if he even saw her in that way… What would have happened if she had never opened that door in the Department of Mysteries?

“If you had such good friends why didn’t you stay at Beauxbatons with them?” asked James with a furrowed brow, interrupting her thoughts.

“I don’t really want to talk about my friends,” said Hermione with a sort of finality.

Thinking of them brought an unpleasant feeling to the pit of her stomach. She hoped Dumbledore would find a way for her to return, and quickly so they could all be reunited again. The only reason these past weeks had been even remotely bearable was if she tried her best to close her mind and not think of all the people she loved in her own time.

James seemed to understand from the tone of her voice that this was a touchy topic. Instead, he tried to change the subject by bombarding her with a different array of questions.

“So, why did your family originally leave England for France?”

Hermione rolled her eyes and wondered whether James would ever be satisfied with asking her questions.

“One of my parents’ dentist friends asked them to take over their practice in Paris because they were retiring. My parents always wanted their own dental practice so they jumped at the chance. We vacationed in France often so the area where we were moving wasn’t completely unfamiliar and we understood the culture.”

“Dentist?” asked Sirius, looking confused. “What’s a dentist?”

“They attend to peoples’ teeth,” said a voice from behind Hermione.

Hermione gave a small jump in shock and spun around to see Lily standing behind her. Besides Lily stood none other than Snape, looking as brooding as ever, even if he was twenty years younger than she remembered. Lily smiled at Hermione, but Snape just stood awkwardly formal next to Lily, staring across the table at James and Sirius with a look of pure loathing. Peter seemed to cower next to James.

“Hey Lily,” piped James. He immediately sat up straighter and his hand went through his dark hair automatically, making it stick up even more in the back. He didn’t even look at Snape, his eyes were locked on Lily.

“What is Snivellus doing here?” demanded Sirius. He was frowning and had a look on his face like he had just encountered something disgusting.

Snape gritted his teeth and turned his dark eyes towards Lily. “I’ll leave you with the scum. Goodbye.”

Even though she had been in school with him for a week now, Hermione had never actually heard him talk. The way he spoke was deliberately icy and he seemed to refrain from showing emotion in his speech, very much like he’d do in her own time.

Snape turned and stalked out of the Great Hall after sending James and Sirius a very frightening glare. Lily frowned and her eyes followed him as he walked down the long tables until he passed through the doors and out of sight.

“Well, I was going to introduce Severus to Hermione, but you lot scared him away,” said Lily, emphasizing Snape’s name. She crossed her arms and gave Sirius and James a disapproving look.

James put his hands up in front of him. “Hey, I’m innocent this time.”

“Because you were too busy staring at Lily…” muttered Lupin, with a faint smile, from besides Hermione.

Lily had obviously heard this and gave Lupin a playful slap on his shoulder, but she had a small grin on her lips. She sat down on the other side of Hermione and narrowed her eyes at Sirius.

“You guys need to be nicer to him.”

“No we don’t,” replied Sirius.

Lily sighed, obviously giving up, knowing that there was no point. “Why are you even talking about dentists?”

“My parents are dentists,” said Hermione matter-of-factly.

“Dentists?” asked Lily with a tone of surprise. “Are you— are you, muggle-born?”

“Yes,” said Hermione simply with a small shrug.

Lily’s face broke into a huge grin and she clapped her hands together. “Oh this is wonderful! I knew right away that we were going to get along, Hermione. Now I can finally discuss real world things with someone that actually knows what I’m talking about!”

“Real world? What do you call this world, then?” asked Sirius mocking offense.

“The wizarding world just seems too good to be true,” said Hermione.

Lily nodded in agreement.

“I guess you could say, it’s magical,” said Sirius, winking at Lily. Lupin rolled his eyes and groaned at the awful pun while Peter gave a forced half chuckled. James was still just staring and smiling at Lily as she rolled her eyes again.

“I need to go find Severus and apologize to him on Sirius’s behalf.” Lily sent Sirius another dirty look. “Hermione, we’ll talk later if you’re still awake. Remus and I have Prefect duties tonight so I don’t know exactly when I’ll be back. You have no idea how happy you also being a muggle-born makes me! See you! And I’ll see you for rounds later, Remus.”

“See you, Lily,” smiled Lupin.

She gave a quick smile and wave before rushing out of the Great Hall to find Snape. James slouched down and looked visibly upset that Lily had gone. Hermione tried to hide her grin.

“Well, I’m leaving as well,” said Hermione, standing up and grabbing her books.

“You’re not going after Snape with Lily are you?” demanded Sirius.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I haven’t even been introduced to him yet, why would I go after him? I’m headed back to the common room to drop off my books and then I’m going to the library.”

“We’ll come with you,” said James, also standing up.

“You’re going to the library?” gawked Hermione. Out of the four boys the only one she had even seen with an open book outside of class had been Lupin.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said James, mimicking Hermione’s words and tone. “Sirius and I were planning on heading over to the Quidditch Pitch to fly around and our stuff is in our dormitory.”

“I haven’t set foot in that library since… ever,” grinned Sirius as he stood up also. Hermione rolled her eyes and the five of them walked out of the Great Hall.

As they walked, Hermione decided she was going to do something stupid. She knew it was stupid but at the same time it felt like the smart thing to do. It was a clever idea, but at the same time, it was incredibly dumb and she would most likely regret it the moment she did it. It was logically foolish. That was a good way to put it. Logically foolish.

As the boys walked with her back to Gryffindor tower, she had thought of a way that might make her appear to be not as comfortable with the castle as the boys suspiciously believed she was. As the five of them were climbing the stairs, she remembered that if she were new to the school, she wouldn’t be entirely aware of the trick steps. Older students knew they were coming; it was second nature to just jump them, but new students (and Neville Longbottom) were always slipping into the stairs. This meant she was going to have to “fall” through one.

She knew one was just a little farther up the marble staircase, so she made her way in front of the four boys, complaining about there being so many stairs and that she just wanted to get to the common room quicker. She was getting closer and closer to one of the trick steps and she had to concentrate hard to not to accidently jump it out of habit. There were only a few steps left when she heard someone call out to warn her. She purposely didn’t slow down her pace but, instead, she turned towards the boys when she felt her foot fall through the air and she gave a small yelp.

Even though she knew it was coming, her stomach seemed to do a somersault as she fell through the step. One of her arms had automatically gone out to break her fall. It slammed onto the hard, marble step in front of her and sent a sharp stinging sensation through her elbow causing her to yell out in pain.

There was the sound of feet running up the stairs as the boys came to her rescue. Strong arms grabbed her from behind, under her arms, and easily pulled her out of the step.

“Geez, Hermione, are you alright?” asked the voice next to her as she was gently placed on solid ground again.

It was Lupin. His green eyes were wide with worry. The other three boys were a few steps below them on a landing so it must have been him who pulled her out.

“I’m fine,” said Hermione who could feel her face burning with embarrassment. She brushed off her robes when she felt the pain in her arm again causing her to gasp. Her other hand automatically went to massage her other arm and the concern on Lupin’s face seemed to worsen. “Thanks for pulling me out Lu—Remus.”

Hermione cursed herself in her head. She really needed to get comfortable calling him Remus instead of Lupin. There wasn’t a lot of time to brood on this because, from the landing below her, came a barking laugh.

Sirius was doubled over, clutching his stomach, with his other hand on James’s shoulder as he used him to support himself as he laughed.

“That… that was hilarious!” wheezed Sirius who was laughing so hard his eyes were filling with tears. James pushed him off his shoulder and Sirius lost his balance and fell backwards and into a sitting position on one of the steps but he that hadn’t stopped him from laughing. “I can’t believe that happened!”

“Are you sure you’re alright, Hermione?” asked Remus, ignoring Sirius and watching her rub her arm.

Sirius was still howling with laughter behind them with Peter and James looking at him like he had gone crazy.

“There’s no permanent damage, I just banged my arm. The worse thing that will happen is that I’ll have a bruise tomorrow morning,” shrugged Hermione, still rubbing her arm.

“You should see Madam Pomfrey, just in case. Even if it is just a bruise she can give you something for the pain and to stop the swelling…” said Remus.

“Really, I’m fine…”

“No, as a Prefect, I must insist.”

At Remus’s comment, Sirius lost himself completely. He laughed even harder and started rolling side to side on ground he had fallen on with Peter watching him in bemusement.

“You better go, Hermione. He’s a Prefect. He might give you a detention if you don’t,” snickered James who gave Sirius a small kick.

“Fine, I’ll go,” sighed Hermione. It would be nice to have the throbbing in her arm stop…

“Great, let’s go,” said Remus cheerfully.

“Wait, you’re coming with me?” asked Hermione in surprise. She had expected to go on her own and have an excuse to depart from the Marauders. “You don’t have to; I know where the Hospital Wing is…”

“Nonsense, I’m sure Sirius, James, and Peter can find their way to the Common Room on their own,” replied Remus.

“Are you sure about that, Moony? What if we get lost?” grinned Sirius, who had finally stopped laughing, although his eyes still twinkled with humor.

Remus just rolled his eyes. “I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

“You better… Don’t make me sit alone in the stands while these two have all the fun,” pouted Peter gesturing towards James and Sirius. He gave Hermione an odd look, like it was her fault he’d have to sit alone. Hermione chose to ignore him. The less attention she paid him the better.

Moments later, Sirius, Peter, and James said goodbye and continued up the stairs as Remus led Hermione in the other direction towards the Hospital Wing.

“Moony?” questioned Hermione once the other boys were out of sight.

“It’s just a silly nickname…” shrugged Remus with a sort of finality.

“Oh,” said Hermione.

Remus seemed to become uncomfortable with the question so Hermione decided to drop it. Obviously she knew what the nickname was, that he was a werewolf, but she felt it was best to ask anyway. She figured anyone who didn’t know about his “furry problem” would be curious as to why he was called Moony.

Their walk was mostly silent from that point on. Hermione either stared at the ground or fiddled with her bag, making herself look busy so she did not have to talk to Remus. Every now and then she would catch Remus’s eye as he stole glances at her but she refused to meet them.

Clearly she had failed at trying to make herself invisible; if anything she did the exact opposite. The Marauders paid her too much attention and all she wanted to do was pass the time until Dumbledore found a way for her to return to 1996. Their constant attention was riddling Hermione’s thoughts as she and Remus approached the Hospital Wing. Why didn’t they mind their own business? She has gone out of her way to avoid the lot of them but they just wouldn’t let her be.

The Hospital Wing looked more or less the same. It was a large, open, room with a row of beds with curtains on either side of the room. The large windows let in beams of September sunlight which flooded the room. All the beds were empty and carefully made as not a single person seemed to be there.

Hermione watched as Remus looked around the room. He cleared his throat and still nothing happened.

“Madam Pomfrey?” he called out hesitantly.

Suddenly, a head popped out the doorway into the office that was adjacent to the Hospital Wing.

Madam Pomfrey looked much younger than Hermione had expected. She was thinner and her hair was a light brown instead of grey. Her face was soft and kind and her blue eyes were welcoming. Hermione guessed she must have been in her late thirties or early forties.

“Oh, Remus, dear,” she said when she caught sight of the two of them standing by the door. She walked into the room and eyed Hermione carefully as she looked over the pair of them. “Is everything alright?”

Hermione swore she saw Madam Pomfrey’s eyes quickly glance at the calendar on her office door, most likely checking the date for the full moon.

“We’re fine, Madam Pomfrey,” said Remus who either seemed to – or chose to – not notice. He looked over at Hermione. “Well, Hermione here could use something. She banged her arm pretty badly when she fell through one of the trick steps in the Grand Staircase.”

“It’s not that bad,” Hermione added quickly, “It’s just sore and will probably leave a large bruise.”

Madam Pomfrey sighed. “Take a seat, dear. I’ll get you something that will fix you right up.”

She strode across the room and back into her office. Hermione made her way over to one of the beds and sat down in a chair next to it. Sitting on one of the beds would have made her feel foolish. Remus pulled up another chair and sat next to her. There was a moment of silence before Hermione spoke up.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” she asked.

Remus looked taken aback at her question and gave her a perplexed look.

“Why am I being nice to you?” he asked in astonishment.

Hermione tried not to grin at the look he was giving her. He almost looked offended that she would question why he was nice, as if she had expected otherwise. Instead, she shook her head and reworded her question.

“I don’t just mean you. I’m referring to you and your friends. You had to have noticed by now that I’ve been trying to avoid you guys for the past week and yet you’ve been so utterly persistent in following me around. Why do you guys seem to care about me so much? You insisted on bringing me to the Hospital Wing over a bruise… why? The four of you easily could have walked away without any source of remorse give than you barely know me.”

Remus just stared at her for a few seconds, at a complete loss for words.

“Why were you avoiding us?” he finally asked.

“I asked you first.”

He gave a short laugh and shook his head slightly before becoming serious again. “Well… I thought you seemed nice enough last week when we met the first night back at Hogwarts.”

Hermione raised her eyebrow and he continued.

“Granted, James was wary of you at first, but he’s gotten over himself. You’re a fellow Gryffindor, and you haven’t given us a reason to dislike you, why wouldn’t we be nice to you? Plus, we admired how you told James off for being a prat and you seem like a genuinely good person.”

“Oh,” was the only thing Hermione could think of responding with.

Out of all the possible answers Hermione assumed he would give, that was not one of them. She thought it might have been their form of a joke but she didn’t think Remus wouldn’t lie to her. At least not the Remus she would know in her time. There was something about the way he said it that made her believe him.

The stark differences between her first week at Hogwarts in 1991 and her first week here were uncanny. True, the first real encounter she had with the Marauders reminded her of how Ron and Harry had treated her at first, but since their little altercation, they treated her like she belonged.

There was something she was feeling that didn’t make sense. It was a sort of comfortable feeling. Like she wasn’t alienated. She was actually feeling… happy? That couldn’t be right.

The sound of approaching footsteps caused Hermione and Remus to look up. Madam Pompfrey was walking towards them, from her office. In her hand was a small phial of liquid.

“This should do the trick,” said Madam Pomfrey, with a smile, as she walked up to Hermione and Remus. She placed the small phial in Hermione’s hand. “It will stop the pain and swelling, there shouldn’t even be a bruise by morning.”

In the phial was a thick looking potion. It was a brilliant shade of orchard purple and seemed to reflect the light as sparkles danced across the surface of it. Cautiously, Hermione sniffed the potion. It had a vaguely familiar scent, but she couldn’t quite place it. Tilting her head back slightly, she tipped the contents on the phial into her mouth and swallowed it quickly.

It didn’t taste good nor awful; it didn’t taste like anything. Immediately, a warm sensation began to spread through her body. It gave her a sort of light feeling, almost like she was slightly floating. The warmth spread down her chest and into the arm she had injured. Her elbow became warm and numb for a moment before the pain vanished completely.

Hermione extended her arm and bent her elbow a few times before looking up at Madam Pomfrey with a smile.

“Thank you, this is much better.”

“Just watch out for those stairs, I could not even begin to tell you how many students get injured from them,” said Madam Pomfrey shaking her head. Her head was still slightly shaking as she walked back to her office and out of sight.

Standing up, Remus looked over at Hermione.

“Ready to go?” he asked her.

Hermione stood up, as well, and straightened her robes. The two of them left the Hospital Wing and made their way back to the Grand Staircase. Hermione started in the direction of the Gryffindor Common Room when Remus suddenly stopped her.

“Why don’t you come to the Quidditch pitch with us? You can keep Peter and me company while James and Sirius almost kill themselves on their brooms,” said Remus with a slightly crooked smile, a few steps below her.

She looked down at him and gestured to the flights of stairs behind her. “Thanks, but I really just want to go to the common room and then the library.”

The crooked smile on his face fell into a small frown. It was clear he seemed disappointed by her answer.

“Why are you avoiding us?” he asked, tilting his head and taking one step closer to her. “And don’t bother denying it, you said you were when we were in the Hospital Wing.”

“I’m not here to make friends,” she said, slowly and softly. “I mean, I didn’t come here to make friends. I’m just here until I… until I graduate.”

She cursed herself again. She had barely stopped herself from saying until she gets home.

“You don’t have to avoid everyone, you know,” said Remus. “Don’t isolate yourself. The people here at Hogwarts really aren’t that bad.”

“I’m sorry,” said Hermione, with a sad smile, and she turned around and walked up the stairs towards the Gryffindor Common Room, leaving Remus behind, looking confused and hurt on that first step.

Later that night, Hermione lay awake, staring at the ceiling of the girls’ dormitory. There was an eerie silence in the dark room. All of the torches were extinguished, and the gibbous moon was the only source of light, leaving ghostly shadows around the circular chamber.

The curtains around Mary’s bed were drawn shut as she slept but Lily’s curtains were open, as she still hadn’t returned from Prefect duties. Originally, Hermione had planned to wait for Lily to return so they could talk but she kept replaying the conversation she had with Remus in her mind.

After thinking about it, Hermione decided she should probably just go to sleep and forget about talking to Lily. The only problem now was that she wasn’t able to actually fall asleep. Her mind would not stop racing long enough for her to fall into unconsciousness.

She lay in bed, staying at the ceiling for another fifteen minutes before stepping out of bed and onto the wooden floor. There was no point in trying to sleep. Silently, she slid into her shoes, slipped her robes on, and exited the dormitory.

The Common Room was deserted at this hour. Only a small fire was burning and the tables contained the usual rubbish that littered the Common Room every night. As Hermione approached her favorite squishy armchair, she realized that she didn’t want to just sit there with her thoughts. She had another idea.

Before she really knew what she was doing, Hermione found herself crawling through the portrait hole and out of the Gryffindor Common Room. The Fat Lady gave a startled snore as Hermione pushed open her frame.

“Excuse me, young lady! Where on Earth do you think you’re going at this hour? It’s nearly one in the morning! Get back in here before you get caught!” she said, clearly irritated by being woken up.

But Hermione didn’t care. She ignored The Fat Lady and continued on her way.

Not knowing where she intended on going, Hermione just walked. It was dark in the castle and most of the portraits were asleep. The ones that weren’t sent her disapproving looks for being out of bed so far after curfew.

Before she knew it, Hermione was standing in front of the stone gargoyles that guarded Professor Dumbledore’s office. That was when Hermione knew exactly what she wanted to do.

“Fawkes,” she said.

The gargoyles sprang aside and Hermione hurried up the staircase and stopped in front of the doors leading to Dumbledore’s office, but Hermione hesitated.

What if he was asleep? It would be incredibly inappropriate for her to just waltz into his office unannounced and wake him up over her trivial thoughts. Right as she was turning around to leave, the doors creaked open, revealing a line of pleasant light. Slowly, Hermione pushed the doors open and peered inside the room.

Dumbledore sat, in his daytime robes, behind his desk. He was stroking the feathers of a large, swan sized crimson and gold bird that was perched on his desk.

Fawkes.

“What can I do for you at this hour, Miss Granger?” he asked without looking at her, although he had a small smile on his face.

Hermione walked through the doors but did not walk to his desk.

“I want to leave,” she stated.

Dumbledore finally looked up and met Hermione’s eyes.

“Have you met Fawkes, my phoenix?” he asked, gesturing to the magnificent bird.

Hermione’s mouth fell open slightly. “Wha-? Well… yes… I have, sir, but…”

“I thought you might have, Most people question him when they see him for the first time so I assumed you must have been introduced already,” said Dumbledore, cutting her off and returning his gaze to Fawkes. “Very loyal companions, phoenixes are.”

“Sir,” said Hermione, with a little more force. “I think it would be best for me to leave Hogwarts. To go someplace else until there’s a way for me to return home.”

“And why is that, Hermione?” he asked, looking up at her again. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes this time.

“It’s too hard to be here. These people… they’re too interested in me. I thought I could just blend into the shadows and exist here by myself but that doesn’t seem possible anymore.”

“So what do you suggest you do?” asked Dumbledore. “Do you wish to leave and just live on your own, avoiding all human interaction like a hermit?”

The thought of what she would do if she left hadn’t crossed her mind. She didn’t know where she would go but she knew it shouldn’t be at Hogwarts. Lily, the Marauders, and even Mary seemed to want her friendship, but it was too dangerous. She couldn’t risk the future by selfishly allowing herself to befriend these people, which is what she decided to tell Dumbledore.

After she had finished there was a lengthy silence. She stood awkwardly in the center of Dumbledore’s office while he sat, stroking his long beard and thinking.

“I think,” started Dumbledore, “That it would be unwise for you to leave Hogwarts.”

Hermione started to object but Dumbledore held up his hand.

“I feel as it is my responsibility to keep you safe until I discover a way to send you back to your own time. I cannot ensure your safety if you leave. We do not know how long you will be here. It is not sensible to isolate yourself, you must try to lead a normal life, while you are here.”

“But what if I change something? I don’t want to be held responsible for changing things in the future! Is my well-being really worth more than the well-beings of the people around me?” Hermione demanded. “I know many of these people. I know their future and their pasts, and as far as I know, I’m not in their pasts. What happens if I insert myself now?”

Dumbledore had a grave look in his eyes and he stared at her with pity. “Do you remember what I told you a few months ago when you first arrived here? About time being like a stream?”

“Yes…” muttered Hermione, not knowing where this was going.

“I want you to make friends, Hermione,” said Dumbledore, leaning forwards. “It must be strange, knowing these people in the future and seeing them as the same age as you, but you will not accidentally change the outcome of their lives, from now until you fall through time in 1996. You are a very bright witch, I know you will be able to keep your secret long enough for me to find a way for you to return. I have faith in you.”

“How do you know I won’t change anything?” questioned Hermione. She felt slightly better, but she wasn’t sure whether or not she believed him.

“Things always have a funny way of working out,” said Dumbledore with a smile.

Those were the words that Hermione replayed in her mind, over and over again, as she walked through the dark castle, back to the Gryffindor Common Room. She was going to take his advice and try to have as normal of a life as she could, given the circumstances. After all, Dumbledore knew best.

Dumbledore was right, she didn’t know how long she would be stuck here so she might as well get comfortable, and if that meant making friends then so be it. And she knew exactly where to start. She just hoped she wasn’t too late to have that conversation about being muggle-born with Lily after all.

Chapter Text

Chapter 8 - New Found Friendships

Remus had never actually wanted the responsibility of being a prefect. It was obvious that Dumbledore had appointed him the job in an attempt to have him reign some sort of control over his friends, not as if that actually happened. They treated his title more like a joke than a position of authority. Ever since that Hogwarts delivery owl had given him the shiny golden Prefect's badge last summer, James and Sirius had seen it as the perfect opportunity to break as many rules as possible, and drag Peter with them, to see if he would actually write them up.

Which he hadn't.

It wasn't until about a month into fifth year when they realized that Remus now had the prime opportunity to be the ultimate wingman for James since Lily had also been appointed Gryffindor's fifth year prefect. All Remus had to do was mention how "amazing", "kind", and "thoughtful" he thought James was while he had prefect duties with Lily. Of course, the trouble making didn't stop but, they treated his title more like a good thing instead of a burden.

He still didn't like being a prefect.

He didn't like roaming the corridors at night or writing people up. He didn't like that it could potentially damage his friendships, if for some reason they did something he couldn't overlook. It was also incredibly uncomfortable trying to fit James into conversations, and Lily wasn't a fool. It didn't take long for her to realize what he was doing. Actually, it took her about five seconds to grasp that James had put Remus up to it after the first time he mentioned James during rounds. It was awkward at first but, it soon became an inside joke between the two of them. He would mention how amazing he thought James was and she would play along and say some snarky, sarcastic, remark back but by her expression, Remus didn't think she actually meant it. Even if she wouldn't admit it, Remus would like to believe that James had been growing on Lily.

That was the only good thing that came out of being a Prefect; getting to know Lily better.

"Did you see that?" Lily asked softly from beside him, interrupting the eerie silence of the sleeping castle around them. She pointed down the dark corridor. "Over there, by that suit of armor."

The two of them had been patrolling the silent corridors and were now on the dimly lit, cold, seventh floor. Remus squinted through the dark but saw nothing other than the dusty old suit of armor.

"What am I supposed to be seeing?" he asked. Whatever Lily had seen, he must have missed it when he wasn't paying attention.

"I think someone just walked down the Gargoyle Corridor, come on," she said as she quickly walked down the corridor.

Remus groaned under his breath. This was the part he hated: catching people doing something wrong and then having to discipline them. He felt like a snitch, and not the golden ball that James never stopped playing with. Like a tattletale but, nonetheless, he followed Lily. As if there were any choice in the matter.

As they approached the corner, they heard a soft, distant voice that Remus couldn't place. He had to speed up to keep up with Lily and the two of them turned the corner and stared down the Gargoyle Corridor. The end of the hall was lit by two torches illuminating the entrance to Dumbledore's office. They stopped and stared as the gargoyle slowly moved back into place, closing off the passageway up into the Headmaster's tower.

"Well, you were right, Lily," said Remus as the gargoyle stopped closing. "There was definitely someone there."

"It doesn't matter," sighed Lily, shaking her head. "It was probably a professor anyway. Could you imagine how humiliating it would have been if we tried to catch a professor after hours? It would have been awful!"

"Depends on the professor," mused Remus.

"Slughorn would have found it funny… but could you imagine if it had been McGonagall?" said Lily, her green eyes widening in fake horror.

"It would have been worth it to see your expression when it happened," grinned Remus as Lily stuck her tongue out at him. "Let's go, we only have two more floors to check and—blimey it's already one in the morning!" said Remus, checking his watch. "We should have been done ages ago. Prefect duties have never taken us this long before!"

"Well, we've never had Peeves chuck dungbombs at us during our rounds before," said Lily sourly. "That may have something to do with it."

It was definitely the logical reason for them running so late, as well as the lingering smell. Not even fifteen minutes into their Prefect rounds did Peeves the Poltergeist appear and start taunting them. When Remus told him to get lost the poltergeist didn't take it very well. Not very well at all. Seconds after he had spoken, Remus and Lily were having dungbombs chucked at them from above by a manically laughing Peeves. They had taken cover behind a suit of armor, who graciously held up their shield to protect them.

After about fifteen minutes they realized Peeves wasn't planning on stopping anytime soon so they abandoned their hiding spot and spent a majority of the time with the shield charm up. Eventually, Peeves ran out of dungbombs but then Remus and Lily had to then go and clean up the mess that had been made or face the wrath of Filch the caretaker.

"I just want to finish this soon, I'm already exhausted and I want to talk with Hermione," said Lily as the two of them made their way back to the Grand Staircase.

Remus felt a pang of sadness when he thought of Hermione. She had been avoiding having any interactions with anyone unless she had to, and usually she would only talk to people if it was for class. At first, Remus thought that she might just be shy, but he was beginning to think that there wasn't actually a shy bone in Hermione's body. She didn't seem to have a problem taking to people, she just didn't want to. Plus, the reason she gave him earlier that day slightly haunted him.

'I'm not here to make friends' she had said.

Something about that statement was just… just so sad… It was difficult not taking it personally, how could he not? He barely knew her and she barely knew him yet she had already written him and his friends off. He wondered whether or not she would actually wait up to have that conversation with Lily tonight.

"Do you think she'll be waiting for you?" he asked Lily cautiously, airing out his thoughts. He didn't want to offend her, but he felt as though he owed it to Lily to offer up his opinion. "I mean, have you actually had a real conversation with her since the first day of class?"

Lily contemplated this for a second. "No, actually, I haven't. We talk in passing but we haven't had a real conversation."

"She's been avoiding everyone," stated Remus simply.

He opened a great wooden door that led to the next floor and held it for Lily to go through first. It was just as dark and cold as the seventh had been. The only sound, other than Remus and Lily, were the occasional snores from the sleeping portraits lining the walls.

"What makes you think she's avoiding everyone?" asked Lily, glancing over at Remus as he followed her through the door.

"She told me."

"She told you she was avoiding everyone? When did this happen?" Lily had stopped walking and was now facing Remus.

He quickly explained to Lily the encounter he had had with Hermione during and after their journey to the Hospital Wing earlier that day. He started from when Lily had left them in the Great Hall to find Severus and up to the point when Hermione said she wasn't there to make friends.

"But there was something in her eyes… it was like she didn't actually mean it. I just don't understand why she would purposely avoid everyone at her own expense like that," finished Remus.

"It's a little obvious, isn't it, Remus?" said Lily with a sad smile.

Remus frowned at her in confusion and Lily shook her head a little bit.

"For someone so smart and spends all their time reading you really can be oblivious, Remus," said Lily and she started walking again down the dark corridor.

"As much as I enjoy you wounding my ego, I'd much rather you explained what is so obvious."

"Well, for starters, she's a new student-"

"I know that Lily… she's adjusting-" said Remus, feeling as though Lily was talking at him like he was an idiot.

"Let me finish!" Lily rolled her eyes. "As I was saying, Hermione's new and yes, adjusting is probably extremely difficult for her but that's not all. Yes, she is making adjusting seem incredibly easy but I cannot even imagine what she's going through. To be in an entirely new place, no friends, not one familiar person… it must be terrifying."

He agreed that Lily had a point, but this wasn't any new information. That much he had gathered on his own. Obviously Hermione was struggling with being here and not knowing anyone but why would she keep herself from getting to know people? It just seemed like she was making things harder on herself.

"I understand that part, Lily," started Remus. "That's easy enough to pick up, but why avoid everyone? We tried to be friendly but she's always hiding in some corner of the library on her own."

"You lot did come on a little strong," said Lily with a shrug. "James and Sirius would not leave the poor girl alone. No wonder she was trying to escape. Also, didn't you tell me, a few days ago, that she said James looked like her best friend? Imagine how weird that must be for her."

It would be weird. Very weird. He began thinking of a scenario where he was forced to transfer to Beauxbatons. Then, out of the first couple people that spoke to him, one of them was Hermione's friend who happened to look like James. He shuddered slightly. It would definitely be an uncomfortable experience.

The two of them made their way to the last floor they would have to patrol before they finished rounds.

"And anyways, she clearly throws herself into her studies as an excuse to be by herself. Out of all the things she's struggling with right now, classes are definitely not on that list. It's only been a week and I can already tell that she's brilliant," said Lily.

"Still, you'd think she'd want some form of companionship. There's still two more years until we graduate. We're just trying—well, I'm trying—to be welcoming," said Remus.

"I think she might just be nervous about trying to befriend a group of people that have known each other for years. It probably isn't you guys as individuals, it's the fact that you, James, Sirius, and Peter have all been friends since first year," replied Lily. "And obviously she's noticed how close Mary and I are, being the only girls in our year in Gryffindor."

That did make sense, and it hadn't been something he even considered. Sometimes Remus forgot how smart and perceptive Lily was.

"So, I shouldn't take it personally?" asked Remus.

"Of course not, Remus!" smiled Lily. "Just tell your friends to back off a little bit. She needs space. Wait until she comes to you."

"And what if she doesn't?"

"Then I guess that would be her loss. We can't force her to socialize, Remus, no matter how much we want her too. Good lord, we sound like worried parents," Lily laughed. "I'm sure she'll come around."

"I guess we'll see…" said Remus. It made sense. He would just have to wait for her to approach them. How hard could that be? And if she never did, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

"Finally!" sighed Lily as they finished patrolling the last corridor. "Finished! Now let's get back to the Common Room."

It didn't take them long to walk back through the dark castle to the entrance to the common room. Remus was tired and just wanted to crawl into the bed and sleep but Lily seemed very alert. She was giddy with excitement and ready to talk to Hermione about the muggle world.

"I hope she likes the Beatles," said Lily as they got closer to The Fat Lady.

"Beetles? Like the bugs?" asked Remus in confusion as the Portrait swung open.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

It was a grey and overcast Sunday afternoon, completely different from the previous day's sunshine. Hermione was sitting outside in the courtyard spending time with Mary. Lily had gone to find Snape right after the three of them had had breakfast but Hermione didn't mind, it was nice spending time with Mary. The two of them chatted casually as they sat on a stone bench while Hermione had a book in her lap and Mary was reading some sort of magazine.

There was an open book on her lap, but Hermione wasn't actually reading. While she occasionally spoke with Mary, she was too busy thinking about the previous night she had spent with her and Lily.

She had just managed to get back to the dormitory only a few minutes before Lily returned from rounds, smelling very faintly of dungbombs. They had spent a long time talking and laughing by the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common Room. After about an hour of the two of them chatting, Mary, who had woken up to find both Lily and Hermione missing, came into the Common Room and joined them.

Throughout her entire life, Hermione never had many friends, let alone any girlfriends. Sure, she had begun to grow close to Ginny after spending so much time with the Weasleys, but this was somehow different. Being around Lily and Mary made her realize how much she had missed out on by not getting along with the other Gryffindor girls in her year. There was something about the two girls that was both welcoming and comforting, which was exactly what Hermione needed.

The three of them talked for a few hours until Lily quite literally fell asleep, curled up into a ball in one of the armchairs by the fire. The reflection of the fire on Lily's red hair caused it to look like her entire head was engulfed in flames. Mary had taken one glance at Lily, who had started to drool a little bit, and started to shake in silent fits of laughter, causing Hermione to grin. With Lily passed out, Mary and Hermione talked quietly between themselves for a short while before they decided they should probably at least get a little bit of sleep. It took the two of them to levitate Lily back into their dormitory and into her bed.

She was immensely grateful that she had gone to have that conversation with Dumbledore. It had been the first time since she arrived in 1976 that Hermione had not felt so alone. Hopefully any day now, Dumbledore would find a way for her to return home anyway. And really, what would be the harm in being friendly with her housemates during the duration of her stay?

A group of four boys walked past them and grabbed Hermione's attention, snapping her from the memory of the night before and causing her to look up.

James was walking and talking in a very animated fashion with his three best friends strolling behind him. They were walking down from the castle and seemed to be headed towards the grounds. At first, Hermione bit her lip and hesitated but there was something she wanted to do ever since she had spoken with both Dumbledore and Lily.

"Remus!" called Hermione, standing up. She placed her book down on the bench and turned to Mary. "I'll be right back."

Mary's eyes peaked over her magazine and glanced over at the boys. She sent Hermione a questioning look but then gave her a small nod before resuming her reading.

The boys had stopped and Hermione jogged to catch up with them. Sirius flashed a brilliant grin as he watched her frizzy hair fly everywhere as she approached them. He really was devilishly handsome, which was such an odd thing to even think about.

"Alright there, Dawson?" asked Sirius, still grinning as Hermione stopped in front of them. "How's the arm?"

Hermione resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him, which seemed to be becoming a habit whenever she was around them.

"It's perfectly fine now, thank you. Madam Pomfrey healed it easily." She turned towards Remus. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Oh, uh, sure, Hermione," said Remus. He turned and shrugged at the other three boys as Hermione tugged his sleeve, pulling him a few steps away towards the far end of the courtyard.

When Hermione believed that they were out of ear reach, she stopped and turned to face Remus, who looked incredibly confused.

"I wanted to apologize for yesterday," started Hermione. "I shouldn't have been acting so strange and distant."

Remus's expression softened at her words.

"You weren't being strange—"

"I was and I'm sorry," interrupted Hermione shaking her head.

She wished he would just let her talk. She had to get this off of her chest before she changed her mind. Admitting she was wrong had never been something that came easily to her.

"And you were right, I need to give the people here a chance because they really aren't so bad."

Her eyes flickered over to Mary who was carefully watching the interaction between Hermione and Remus. When she noticed Hermione glance her way, Mary's eyes widened and her face quickly disappeared back behind her magazine. Hermione chuckled softly to herself.

"I can see that," said Remus with a smirk as he followed Hermione's line of vision over to Mary. "I'm glad you're making friends. Mary Macdonald and Lily Evans are definitely the type of people anyone would be able to get along with. And I'm not just saying that because they're both fellow Gryffindors and Lily is also a Prefect." He gave her a small wink.

"It's just strange having girlfriends. I've only ever had guys as good friends," replied Hermione.

It had always just been her, Ron, and Harry. For some reason she had always had trouble befriending other girls. Yet, Lily and Mary were kinder to Hermione in this one short week than any of the other girls in her year had ever been to her, and Hermione was very grateful for that. The kindness that Mary and Lily showed her was infectious and it was a debt Hermione would not be able to easily repay. Sure, it was strange being around Lily, with her being Harry's mother, but there were no strange feelings with Mary. When Hermione was just with Mary there were no reminders of her past life or that she was stuck in the past. Hermione thanked Merlin that she had no idea who Mary was in the future. Mary was a breath of fresh air.

"Well, who said they had to be your only friends?" laughed Remus. Suddenly, his eyes lit up like he had just thought of a brilliant idea. "Here, come with me..."

It was now his turn to take a bewildered Hermione by the sleeve of her robes and pull her across the courtyard. He stopped her in front of the other boys and Hermione raised her eyebrow at him. She had no idea what he was trying to do.

"Hermione has finally agreed to stop avoiding us," said Remus, proudly.

Hermione groaned internally in anticipation of their reactions.

"I never actually said that…" started Hermione.

"Excellent," interrupted a grinning James. "Does this mean you'll be joining us for dinner?

"She's coming to dinner?" wondered Peter.

"Don't be daft, Wormtail. Of course she is!"

"Wait a sec—" Hermione started to object. This had not been what she was expecting at all and there was a slight feeling of panic at how excited they seemed to get.

"What a brilliant idea, Prongs!" beamed Sirius.

He strode up to Hermione and rubbed the top of her head, making her frizzy hair even messier, if that were somehow possible.

"What do you think you're doing—"

"Why thank you, Padfoot," grinned James, completely ignoring distressed Hermione as she scowled at them.

"She should definitely stick around so I won't miss her fall through anymore steps," said Sirius, laughter glistening in his eyes.

Hermione pursed her lips and could feel her face begin to flush. Her hands were desperately trying to flatten her disheveled hair but the wind kept blowing stands in her face. It was hopeless.

"That's all very nice of you," she said to James, giving up trying to fix her hair, "but, I've already agreed to have dinner with Lily."

One would have thought that Christmas had come early if they had seen the thrilled expression on James's face as Hermione said this.

"Evans is more than welcome to sit with us, too!" grinned James. "In fact, the more the merrier! Right boys?"

He turned, beaming, to his friends and Hermione had to stop herself from grinning at him. He looked like an excited puppy.

"Well said, mate," said Sirius, grinning back at his friend.

"It's settled then. Dawson here and Evans will be joining us for dinner," nodded James.

"Do I not get a say in this?" demanded Hermione, crossing her arms. Even though they were being idiots she had to admit that she was slightly amused.

"No," said James, Remus, and Sirius at the same time. Peter just looked uneasy at the whole situation.

"What if Lily doesn't accept your offer?" challenged Hermione.

She almost felt bad for saying this because James's smile fell into a slight frown. He actually looked nervous for a second before putting on a brave face.

"We'll see about that," said James, forcing a grin. He turned towards Sirius. "Ready to go?"

"Yup, see you at dinner, Dawson," said Sirius, flashing another wicked grin. He playfully threw his arm around James's neck and they started on their way across the courtyard.

"We'll see you later, Hermione," said Remus, who turned to follow James and Sirius. "Are you coming, Peter?"

"Bye," mumbled Peter who hurried to catch up to Remus.

Hermione stood there for a second and watched as the four boys walked out of the courtyard and out of sight before turning towards Mary.

When she sat back down, Mary laid her magazine across her lap and turned to face Hermione on the bench.

"What was that about?" asked Mary curiously.

"James Potter just asked me to join him for dinner later. Well, forced me is more like it…" stated Hermione.

"Wait… James Potter asked you to dinner?" asked Mary, her jaw dropped in astonishment. "Not that he wouldn't have any reason not to ask you… I mean… he's just so hung up on Lily… bloody hell… that came out entirely wrong…"

Hermione laughed as Mary fumbled with her words, looking distressed.

"Don't worry, I understand what you meant. I didn't even mean it in that way. What I meant to say is that he invited me to join him, Sirius, Remus, and Peter for dinner. He also wants me to invite Lily."

"Ah, his true motives are revealed," smirked Mary. "You know she'll probably say no, right?"

Hermione sighed, "Yes, I even said that to James but he wasn't having it. I supposed I might as well try… Do you want to join us?"

"Thanks but no thanks," said Mary, picking her magazine up and flipping it open. "I'd rather not have to eat while Sirius Black cracks inappropriate jokes. I'd lose my appetite."

At that, all Hermione could do was laugh.

~o~

To Hermione's surprise, Lily agreed to dinner when Hermione asked her when she saw her later that afternoon. There wasn't even persuasion involved.

"Well, why not? Just because he can be a pompous arse around me doesn't mean he won't end up being a good friend to you. Well, at least I hope so," was Lily's only response. But something gave Hermione the impression that there was an underlying motive behind her agreeing so quickly to dinner.

As dinner time approached, Hermione grew anxious. All she wanted to do was blend into the shadows but she had promised Dumbledore that she would at least make an effort to try to fit in. If Dumbledore believed it was harmless for her to befriend people then it should be safe… right?

About ten minutes before dinnertime, Hermione found herself walking side by side with Lily on the way to the Great Hall. Lily was still fawning over the fact that Hermione was muggle-born.

Their conversation was somewhat of an extension of the one they had the previous night. It was difficult for Hermione to try to remember when certain pop culture things actually occurred in fear that she would accidentally give something away that hadn't happened yet. That's why when Lily had brought up the Beatles the previous night, Hermione instantly realized it was a topic that she could take advantage of. Thank goodness the Beatles were still popular in her time.

As they approached the Entrance Hall, their conversation came to a halt as Lily recognized a friend of hers. Following Lily's line of sight, Hermione noticed that Lily was staring at a boy walking up from the dungeons with greasy dark hair.

Snape.

"Severus!" called Lily over the crowd of people.

It was miraculous that Snape even managed to hear Lily call for him over the chatting crowd. Nonetheless, he stopped walking and his head snapped towards them; his dark eyes looked over both Hermione and Lily. When he caught sight of Lily his face broke into an odd expression that Hermione had never seen in her time.

Was Snape… happy?

Lily grinned and waved him over. He walked, or more like glided, towards the two of them. The three of them moved over to the side of the corridor to get out of the way of the bustle of students making their way to dinner.

"Hello, Sev," smiled Lily, once they were out of the crowd's way.

Sev? Was that a pet name for Snape? It was such a bizarre thing to hear.

"I'd like you to meet Hermione Dawson," beamed Lily. "I never had the chance to actually introduce you yesterday but better late than never."

Snape's eyes scanned Hermione as he took in her appearance. There was a short moment of silence and Hermione could almost see the gears in his head turn as he carefully calculated his response.

"Hello," he said smoothly. Apparently, that build up had been for nothing. Yet, he sounded slightly friendlier than she had expected. The iciness that had been in his voice the previous day had disappeared. It was probably a tone he saved especially for James and Sirius.

"And Hermione, this is my best friend, Severus Snape," said Lily, still smiling and looking at the two of them. Snape's lip twitched a little at this remark.

Best friend? Now Hermione was certain that Harry had no knowledge of the friendship between his least favorite professor – excluding Umbridge – and his mother.

"Nice to meet you," said Hermione with a small smile.

There was something not exactly innocent about young Snape, but something incredibly vulnerable. Of course, she couldn't forgive Snape for the way he treated others in the past… well... the future… but Hermione was convinced that Snape was now on their side. He was a member of the Order for goodness sake and she had spent the entirety of the previous year trying to get that through Harry and Ron's thick skulls. Anyway, young Snape hadn't done anything wrong yet. He wasn't a Death Eater, he was a sixteen-year-old boy and if Lily considered him a best friend, how bad could he be?

Lily must have noticed Hermione thinking and misinterpreted it to mean Hermione was wary of Snape.

"Don't worry, Hermione," said Lily. "You've probably heard nasty rumors about Slytherin house, but they aren't all bad. Just look at Sev and Professor Slughorn."

"Unfortunately," said Snape slowly, "I cannot speak for everyone in my house."

"Oh! I'm not worried in the slightest," said Hermione, which was only half true. It was true that she wasn't nervous about anything in the micro sense, such as Snape. It was more of a constant nervousness of the macro sense. Just the possibly of accidentally ruining timelines, no big deal.

"Good, because I have a feeling that you two will get along. Anyway, we're going to be late for dinner," said Lily, turning to face Snape with a smile. "See you later, Severus."

"Goodbye, Lily. Hermione," he said in his best controlled voice but Hermione noticed that he seemed slightly disappointed in their departure.

Dinner did not go as Hermione had expected. It was surprising to find how much she enjoyed herself. The interactions between James and Sirius were hilariously stupid. Some of the things that would come out of their mouths were worthy of eye rolls yet, they actually seemed quite friendly. Hermione was always stuck in between wondering whether or not she should laugh or be appalled. It was entertaining to say the least.

The longer she looked at him, the more comforting it felt being around James rather than strange. Maybe it had to do with him and Harry looking strikingly similar, but Hermione rather liked being around James. In a way, it made her feel safe being around someone who looked so much like one of her favorite people. Like Harry, James was fiercely protective of his friends, however his head was so inflated that Hermione wondered how it managed to stay on. Everything that came out of his mouth was meant to impress Lily, which was very un-Harry-like. It seemed as though James loved having the attention on himself while Harry always tried his best to not draw too much attention to himself. Not that that had actually worked out in Harry's favor due to him being a magnet for trouble…

The longer dinner went on, Hermione began to notice more differences between James and Harry. Not that the differences were a bad thing, they were just… well… different. Even in appearance they differed. Hermione had the seat opposite James so she was able to get a good look at him while they ate. Yes, James had hazel eyes instead of green, which were shaped differently. He also wore rectangular glasses rather than rounds ones and did not have a scar on his forehead, but that was not where the physical differences ended. James's nose was slightly longer than she remembered Harry's being and he seemed to be fitter and just looked all around healthier. The years of neglect from the Dursleys had always made Harry so thin and this was not the case for James. There was also an air of confidence around James while Harry tended to be more passive.

Having James and Sirius across from her made it seem more like she was having dinner and a show. He was loud and energetic, constantly messing around with his friends while Sirius was messing with both James and Remus, as he was sandwiched in between the two boys. Again, Hermione was glad she was sitting beside Lily with Peter on the other side so she didn't have to look at him. She didn't have a problem with younger Snape, but she wasn't able to get rid of the awful feeling that she got in the pit of her stomach when she was around Peter. Hermione was definitely not ready to forgive and forget all of the terrible things he will end up doing, and she doubted she ever could.

While the boys were talking about their collection of chocolate frog cards with Lily, Hermione stole a glance towards the Slytherin table and was not surprised to see one of its occupants staring right back. She watched curiously as Snape stared angrily at the back of James's head. His eyes quickly went back and forth between James's head and Lily. His grip on his fork was so tight that Hermione noticed his knuckles had paled from the lack of circulation. After a moment, Snape eyes caught Hermione's and he relaxed his grip on his fork, sneered, and turned away in what looked like frustration.

And that was that.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

The following week went by much quicker than the first week of term had. It must have had something to do with her being much happier now that she was becoming closer with Lily, Mary, and the boys. Before Hermione knew it, it was already Wednesday and she and Mary were walking through the castle to Charms. When they entered the classroom they sat next to Lily, but something seemed off.

Hermione turned in her seat and looked at the row behind her where the boys usually sat and found one of them missing. She stared down at Remus's empty chair in bewilderment. Remus was the last person to ditch class. James noticed her staring at the empty chair and gave her a mischievous smile before returning to his conversation with Sirius.

"Remus's mother is very sick," whispered Mary from beside her. She had spoken so softly Hermione had to strain to listen. "He often has to leave to take care of her when she gets worse. He should be back in a few days, though. Poor boy…" She shook her head slightly with a sad look on her face.

Of course; tonight there would be a full moon. But a sick mother who falls ill once a month? That wasn't a very strong alibi. Hermione didn't understand how no one noticed Remus would disappear once a month for the past five years, coincidentally on a full moon and not figure out he was a werewolf. Surely she thought people must notice his disappearances on full moons especially in Astronomy class since they monitor the moons phases… It was so incredibly obvious! Nonetheless, Hermione was slightly sad that Remus was missing from class.

Professor Flitwick entered the classroom and Hermione turned back to face the front of the classroom towards her tiny Professor.

"Good morning, class, good morning!" he piped as he made his way to his desk where he climbed on a pile of books to see over it.

"Today we will be learning a very handy and important spell; the water-making spell. Does anyone want to venture a guess to what it does?" asked Flitwick, looking around the room hopefully.

"Makes water?" called out a Ravenclaw boy with a smirk on his face. His friends around him broke into a fit of laughter. Beside her, even Mary laughed silently to herself.

"Thank you, Mister Donner" sighed Flitwick as the laughter died down, "but I was hoping for a more in-depth answer."

Without even thinking, Hermione shot her hand into the air, which Mary had to quickly dodge to avoid being hit in the face.

"Miss Dawson?" said Flitwick in surprise.

Other faces were staring at her in curiosity when she realized she had never spoken in class since she's been there. Her face started to burn slightly, but she focused herself on looking as confident as possible.

"It produces a clear, pure jet of water from the tip of one's wand. The water is safe to drink and, depending on the intention of the caster, it can be as simple as a small stream of water to a powerful wave."

"Precisely! I don't think I could have said it any better myself," said Flitwick with a smile. "Five points to Gryffindor! Now can anyone tell me the incantation that is used for this specific spell?" Flitwick asked.

Again, Hermione felt her hand shoot straight up into the air.

"Yes, Miss Dawson?"

"The incantation is Aguamenti, sir," she said.

"Correct again! Take another five points, Miss Dawson," said Flitwick, beaming at her.

Mary gave her a huge smile and she felt someone poke her in the back.

"Nice one, Dawson," she heard Sirius's voice say. She could almost hear the smile in his voice and she grinned slightly.

"I hope you all are copying this down!" she heard Flitwick say.

He began to demonstrate the wand movement, a sort of sideways S of some sorts, but Hermione was distracted by the whispers from behind her. It was obviously the Marauders, but she wasn't able to clearly differentiate their whispers.

"I did it last time!" a voice hissed.

"No, I did, you're confused from summer holiday!"

"Well, it is definitely not my turn to take notes for Remus…"

"It's Padfoot's turn!" said a voice Hermione believed to belong to James.

"Fat chance!" whispered back Sirius.

"Someone just take the notes already!"

The bickering went on for another minute before Hermione had had enough of their distractions. She turned around in her chair and sent them each a disapproving glare as they fought over, or more like fought to get rid of, what appeared to be Remus's notebook.

"Oh for goodness sake! Give it here!" snapped Hermione quietly and she snatched the notebook from Sirius's hands. "I'll take his notes, now be quiet!"

She turned back in her chair and opened up to a blank page in Remus's notebook and started copying her own notes into Remus's notebook.

"Well look at that, boys," she heard James whisper. "Ten points to Gryffindor and we don't have to take Moony's notes! It's a good thing Dawson is here."

Hermione smiled down at her notes. Not once did she hear the words "know-it-all" or "insufferable" throughout the entire class.

~o~

That night was clear out and all the stars were shining brightly against the dark sky. The full moon was large and illuminating outside of the window and it created a stillness in the empty Gryffindor Common Room. The usual nightly entertainment from James and Sirius did not take place due to the lack of Remus, so no one was loitering around the common room after curfew, which Hermione found enjoyable. Her favorite armchair by the fireplace was free and no one was around to bother her as she read.

She had already finished the Charms essay on Aguamenti that Professor Flitwick had assigned earlier that day. Actually, she had all of her assignments for that week already finished and was using her spare time to reread books from the library on time travel to see if she had missing something. There had to be something somewhere that would help her get home…

A door above her slammed shut and she heard someone shush another person. Hermione's head jerked in the direction of the noise. She had expected to see someone walk down the stairs and into the Common Room but no one appeared. Hermione shrugged to herself, thinking that they must have gone back into their dorm.

Hermione returned to her book Time to Not Meddle with Time when she swore she heard soft footsteps. Again, she looked up and saw nothing. Right as she looked back down at her book there was a thump and Hermione's eyes shot up to see the armchair on the other side of the room move and wobble slightly.

Just as if someone invisible had walked directly into it.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

James stood frozen in place as he stared at Hermione. There was no doubt that she had heard and seen them bump into the armchair. A string of rude four letter words played through his head as he tried to think of a way out of this situation.

It was strange, though. He would have expected Hermione to look around the room, wondering what could have bumped the chair but instead she was staring directly at them. Or directly through them since they had on the invisibility cloak. There was no way she could know they were under the cloak, could she?

Beside him, Sirius's eyes were wide as if he were thinking the same thing James was. Hermione just continued to stare at the exact spot they were standing. It was unnerving.

Well, now they were screwed. They couldn't just walk out of the Common Room without her realizing what was happening. He could turn around and go back into the boys' dormitory, but they couldn't just abandon Remus just because Hermione may or may not be suspicious of them being invisible. They needed a distraction. Sirius must have had the very same thought because they both looked down at Peter, already in rat form, perched on James's shoulder.

James considered themselves lucky that Peter's animagus was a rat. There was no way the three of them would be able to fit under the cloak without their feet showing when they went to sneak out of the castle to be with Remus when he transformed. Even just being under it with Sirius was a tad bit too snug. Sadly, it meant that he, Sirius, Peter, and Remus couldn't go on any adventures together after fourth year since there was absolutely no way the four of them would fit. Their knees would probably show if they tried.

Peter seemed to notice the mischievous look in Sirius's eyes, the same look James was probably giving him, because Peter seemed to shrink under their stares. Sirius flashed James a grin and nudged him, cocking his head in Hermione's direction, who still happened to be staring, and then down at Peter. That's when James knew what to do.

With a quick movement of his arm, James scooped up Peter and began to crouch towards the ground, pulling Sirius down with him so the cloak wouldn't fall off of them. Silently, he grabbed the end of the cloak and quickly shoved a squirming Peter out from under the cloak in Hermione's direction.

James's fist went to his mouth as he stifled a laugh as Peter, who obviously had caught on to what he had to do, charged directly at Hermione, squeaking like mad. Something between a startled gasp and squeak escaped Hermione's lips and James watched as she quickly stood up in surprise, dropped her book, and her eyes grew to the size of bludgers in shock as Peter approached.

It was now or never. James grabbed Sirius by the neck of his robes and yanked him off the ground and towards the portrait hole. While Hermione seemed preoccupied with Peter running around her, James and Sirius climbed through the portrait hole and silently opened the portrait of the Fat Lady. Peter must have realized they opened the portrait from his rat senses or something because James watched as he sprinted towards them, his little rat legs moving as quickly as they could. James threw the bottom of the cloak over Peter and Peter climbed up James's robes and onto his shoulder, his little mouse body breathing heavily.

The last thing James saw was Hermione staring furiously in their direction, looking incredibly disheveled before he closed the portrait of the Fat Lady, leaving a bewildered Hermione alone in the Common Room.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9 - Surprises

“I don’t know what happened but these notes are far better than any of the notes you’ve given me in the past,” Hermione heard Remus say from one of the tables in the Gryffindor Common Room.

It was late and he had just gotten back from “visiting his sick mother” and was now looking through his notebooks that James, Peter, and Sirius had just given him as he nibbled on a chocolate bar. Even though she was sitting on the other end of the room, Hermione could tell that he looked paler than usual, and dreadfully tired, but other than that it didn’t look like he caused harm to himself when he was transformed the other night.

“Oh, you’re just saying that, Moony,” grinned Sirius, who sent a wink towards Hermione who was sitting by the fireplace. She playfully rolled her eyes back at him.

“No really… These notes are actually very well written.” he turned towards James with his eyebrow raised. “It was your turn to take notes, right? I’m impressed, you did a very good job, James.”

Hermione watched Sirius turn towards James with a look of disgust in his eyes.

“I knew it was his turn!” yelled Sirius. “You prat! You said it was mine!”

Hermione snickered to herself as she watched Sirius crumpled up a piece of paper and throw it at James who easily dodged it.

“Huh, I guess it was,” said James with a smile.

“So Sirius actually took these notes?” asked Remus, glancing between James, Sirius, and Peter.  “Wait a moment…” He flipped through his other notebooks with a furrowed brow. “This handwriting is way too neat for it to have been either of you three and—wait – are those notes for Ancient Runes? None of you are even in Ancient Runes with me!”

Remus looked around at his three friends, who shared guilty expressions, and sighed. “Alright, whose notes did you steal?” he asked calmly.

“We didn’t steal anything,” huffed Sirius, crossing his arms. “Frankly, I’m insulted that you would think we nicked some other student’s notes.”

“Well you lot clearly didn’t write them,” countered Remus as he flipped through one of his notebooks.

Hermione sighed. “Don’t worry, they didn’t steal them,” she called over to them. She didn’t want Remus to think that his friends had actually stolen someone else’s notes.

Remus looked up at her sitting by the fireplace, clearly surprised by her comment. Hermione stood up and walked over to the table where the four boys were sitting and pulled up a chair next to James.

“How do you know?” he blinked as she sat down.

“Because I took those notes for you,” she said as she reached for his Ancient Runes notes and opened them. She then reached into her bag and pulled out her own notebook and opened it next to Remus’s to show that the notes were identical. “See, I took the Ancient Runes notes. You know, since I’m in that class as well.”

Remus stared at her, with his mouth slightly opened. He quickly closed it and turned towards the other boys and raised his eyebrow. Sirius shrugged at him and Remus turned his attention back to Hermione.

“You didn’t have to do that,” said Remus, frowning slightly. Again, he looked between his friends then back at Hermione. “They should have taken them.”

By the looks at it, he seemed slightly embarrassed that she had taken his notes instead of his friends but Hermione had no idea why. They were just notes, it honestly was no big deal to her. She wondered if it had to do with him not wanting her to discover why he was gone.

Hermione gave a small shrug, trying to show that she was oblivious to his situation. “I only did it because they wouldn’t make up their minds as to who was going to take the notes. The idiots wouldn’t stop bickering in the back of class. It was quite annoying, actually. Taking your notebook was the only way to shut them up.”

“We only bickered because we couldn’t remember whose turn it was,” defended Peter.

There was a laugh from beside her and James leaned back in his chair, balancing it on its back legs, and put his hands behind his head. “I guess it was actually Hermione’s turn to take Remus’s notes after all.”

There was a smug look on James’s face and he seemed very pleased with himself. Sirius, however, scowled at his best friend.

“You’re just glad that you got out of your turn!” said Sirius, starting to crumple up another piece of paper.

“You better not be thinking of littering in this Common Room again, Sirius,” said Remus disapprovingly.

Sirius flushed. “Fine. I’ll just do this.” He turned and lightly punched James in the arm instead.

Peter let out a gasp as James’s arms flared as he lost control of his balanced chair and fell backwards to the ground with a thump. A few surrounding students in the common room turned and saw James sprawled on the floor and laughed as James rolled around moaning in a very fake fashion.

“Are you alright, James?” asked Peter with wide eyes, leaning over the table to look at him.

Hermione ignored James on the ground and turned her attention back to Remus as Peter stood up and hurried around the table to help James up.

“Honestly, it was no problem. Taking two sets of notes is actually an incredibly beneficial way for me to remember information,” said Hermione truthfully.

There was still an odd look on Remus’s face. “Thank you, Hermione,” he said with a small smile. “It means a lot that you took these while I— while I was away…”

He paled and his smile fell.  He looked away from Hermione as he suddenly became very interested in organizing his stack of notes.

“I’d be happy to take them whenever you aren’t in class. If these fools continue to take your notes you may never catch up on what you missed,” said Hermione, gesturing towards the situation on the floor next to her.

James was still on the floor faking and Peter, the dolt, was trying with all his might to pull James up, not realizing that James had no desire to get up off of the floor. Sirius sat by, shouting encouragement to Peter telling him to pull James harder.

“Just pull a little harder, Wormtail! I’m sure you can get him up!” said Sirius while James let out a loud, exaggerated, moan from the floor. Sirius then laughed at himself at what he had said.

The two of them ignored Sirius and watched Peter tug at James for a moment before Remus spoke again, with that same odd expression from before. “You don’t have to do that, Hermione.”

That was when Hermione realized why he had a funny expression on his face when he found out she had taken his notes and also why he also had it now. It wasn’t because he thought she might find out about his condition, which she originally had thought. It was because he didn’t want her to pity him. He thought she was only doing it because she felt bad for him, not because she wanted too. His pride had been hurt.

Knowing she had to be careful about what she said next Hermione mustered up the friendliest voice she could. “I know I don’t have to, I want to. What are friends for?”

The use of the word “friends” must have had a bigger impact than she thought. Remus met Hermione’s eye and smiled his little crooked smile. Lily had mentioned to Hermione how the Marauders were sad that she had been ignoring them. Maybe this was a turning point.

“What are friends for,” Remus repeated back to her with a smile.

.:~*~*~*~*~:. 

Hermione began to get closer to the Marauders the longer she was there. When she had told Remus she was his friend she had meant in. She liked being around the Marauders. James and Sirius were the jokesters that kept everything interesting. There was never a dull moment when she was around them. Remus, well Remus, was the one that kept her from going crazy due to James and Sirius’s shenanigans. He was always so calm, well mannered, and he and Hermione were probably the sole reason anyone ever got any assignments done. Hermione didn’t include Peter as a friend and she felt no guilt over it. Peter must have felt the same way because he didn’t speak to her just as much as she didn’t speak to him.

Trying to divide her time between the boys and Mary and Lily was slightly difficult. Yes, Lily seemed to be warming up to the boys but she still wasn’t at the point where she would spend all her time with them. Mary, on the other hand, didn’t really seem to want to spend any time with them. It wasn’t that she didn’t like them. She got along with them fine – except Sirius, Sirius seemed to piss her off for some reason – she just had other groups of friends that she would hang out with, particularly a group of Hufflepuff girls in their year.

Since she lived with Mary and Lily, and usually sat with them during classes, Hermione spent a lot of her free time with the boys. However, that Sunday, she didn’t want to spend time with anyone.

Hermione woke up late that morning. Even in her own time, Hermione always went to breakfast, even on the weekends, but today she missed it. She slept right through it and she did it purposely.

When she had woken up, Lily and Mary were already gone. It was a strange feeling, waking up in the dormitory alone, since she was usually the first one up. She had been awake for a little over an hour now and spent a good portion of that time crying.

It was because today was September 19^th. If she had never left her own time, today would have been her seventeenth birthday. Well, it still would be her seventeenth birthday… or maybe it would technically be her negative third birthday since she wasn’t even born in this timeline yet.

All she wanted was for the day to end before it even began. There would be no Harry and Ron to spend the day with, no common room party with stolen food from the kitchens by the Weasley twins, no gifts – not that she cared –, and no letter and package from her parents. Thinking of her parents sent a pain through her chest. This would be the first time she would not hear from them on her birthday.

The door of her dormitory creaked open slowly and Hermione could see a small beam of light come into the room from behind the closed scarlet curtains of her four-poster bed.

“Hermione?” asked a low voice cautiously. “Hermione, are you alright?”

Hermione just groaned and put her head under her pillow and pulled her blanket over her. If she ignored the voice maybe it would go away.

“Maybe she’s sick,” whispered another voice.

“Hermione, are you sick?” said the first voice, which Hermione now identified as Lily’s. “You never sleep this late.”

“Should we get McGonagall or Madam Pomfrey?” whispered the other voice, which belonged to Mary, when Hermione didn’t respond.

The last thing Hermione wanted was to be made a spectacle of and have someone call someone for her.

“I’m not sick…” mumbled Hermione.

She could hear Lily and Mary whispering to each other and Hermione just wanted them to leave her to mope around in self-pity in peace.

“Then something’s wrong. What’s the matter, Hermione?” asked Mary softly. Hermione could hear the concern in her voice and it made her feel a little better to hear that the two girls cared.

“I’m—I’m just tired is all…” said Hermione. It wasn’t necessarily a lie but it wasn’t the main reason she wanted to stay in bed.

“The lunch block will end soon, Hermione,” said Lily in a soft comforting voice. “Please come and eat something, you’ve already missed breakfast.”

“I’m not hungry,” said Hermione, and if on cue, her stomach betrayed her and let out a growl. She cursed herself and stuffed her face deeper into her pillow.

“You sure sound not hungry to me,” said Mary and Hermione could hear the smile in her voice. “If you really don’t want to get up we could bring you some food from the Great Hall.”

Hermione sighed. Maybe she should get up. If she just stayed in bed all day she would probably just feel worse later on. She would just over think things all day and have no distractions from her own poisonous thoughts. Plus, if she got up, she could throw herself into her classwork to distract herself.

“Fine, I’ll come to lunch,” said Hermione, forcing herself to sit up in bed. “I’ll meet you guys downstairs in a few minutes.”

“Great, see you in a bit,” said Lily.

The dormitory door shut and Hermione pulled open the curtains around her bed open. The dormitory was dark and still around her. None of the torches were lit and the curtains on the window were drawn shut. Hermione walked to the window by her bed and opened the curtains, letting in the afternoon light. It instantly made her feel slightly better.

She quickly dressed in jeans and a blouse, not even bothering with her robes since it was the weekend. Her hair was even more of a mess than usual due to her lying in bed all morning. There was nothing she could really do with it so she quickly tied it in a plait to keep it from getting too out of control. Grabbing her schoolbag, she left the dormitory.

Lily and Mary were waiting for her by the fireplace when she entered the common room a few minutes later. They both gave her a smile but Hermione could see the worry in their eyes.

“Ready?” asked Lily.

She just nodded and the three of them walked to the Great Hall.

Lunch wasn’t very eventful. Hermione was distracted for most of it and only spoke when directly spoken to despite Lily and Mary’s many attempts to include her in the conversation. She couldn’t help but stare longingly around the Great Hall hoping that maybe, just maybe, an owl would come with something for her but she knew it was no use. Anyone that would have sent her something either hadn’t been born yet or had no idea she existed.

“Hermione?” said Lily with a worried look from across the table.

She looked up at Lily who stared at her strangely. “Yes?”

“I asked if those sandwiches were good,” said Lily, pointing at Hermione’s barely touched plate.

“Oh,” said Hermione. She hadn’t been paying attention and now Lily and Mary were giving her very worried looks. “Yeah, they’re good,” she said mindlessly. “You can take them if you’d like.”

But Lily didn’t take a sandwich.

“Are you sure you’re not sick?” asked Lily.

“I don’t feel sick, no,” said Hermione.

“If you say so…” said Mary and she sent an unbelieving look to Lily.

“Actually, I think I’m going to go to the library and study,” said Hermione beginning to stand up.

“What? Wait—” said Lily but Hermione was already halfway down the table.

She felt really bad for just ditching Lily and Mary but she honestly needed the time alone. It had now been almost exactly three months since she left her time and landed twenty years in the past. She wasn’t any closer to finding a way home, she hadn’t seen her friends or family for three months and now she didn’t even have them on her birthday.

The library had always been a safe haven for Hermione. There was a great sense of comfort being surrounded by tens of thousands of books lining the thousands of shelves. The stone walls and wooden floors created a relaxing atmosphere.

As soon as she entered she immediately went and grabbed a copy of Hogwarts: A History. She was glad that there were copies left of the shelf. Feeling the book in her hands was a comfort in itself. It had been her favorite book for years and while she was there over the summer she had read it numerous times. Since term had started, she hadn’t had a chance to come to the library just to read it. Not having her own copy with her still bothered her. She would have to buy her one in this timeline.

She found an unoccupied corner, deep in the library, and sat down, abandoning her schoolbag for Hogwarts: A History. The corner she had chosen was reasonably secluded and surrounded by books. To one side of her was the stone wall of the library and the other was a large window that showed the Hogwarts grounds. Hermione could think of no better way to possibly feel relaxed and empty her mind.

Hours passed and the window showed how the grounds were no longer lit up by the sun but instead covered in early evening shadows. There was a very good chance that she had missed dinner but she didn’t care. This time she honestly didn’t feel hungry.

There was the sound of approaching footsteps and Hermione looked up from her book. She peered through the piles of books surrounding her and saw a figure looking up and down the aisles around her. Whoever it was, they seemed to be looking for something.

She slightly shifted her position from behind the books to get a better look when the figure turned and looked directly at her, their green eyes looking right into hers.

“Hermione?” said Remus. He slowly walked towards her as she quickly tried to hide back behind the books.

The top of one of the piles was lifted up, revealing Hermione’s hiding spot, as Remus moved it to the side.

“I thought you weren’t avoiding us?” he said with a sad smile as he placed the books on a desk.

“I’m not avoiding anyone,” she sighed. “I just needed to be alone.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not particularly,” she said. He looked slightly hurt. “Sorry,” she added.

Remus shrugged and he moved some of the books to sit down next to Hermione. It was a little snug in the corner but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

“That’s a very interesting read,” he said, pointing to the copy of Hogwarts: A History in Hermione’s lap.

Hermione smiled at him, “You’ve read it?”

“Of course,” he smiled back. “I’m a little surprised that you’re reading it, though.”

Finally someone else had read it! She had been trying to get Harry and Ron to read the book for ages now. At least there was someone here she could talk about it with.

“I read it before I came here,” she said. “It’s truly fascinating. It’s probably my favorite book.”

It was her favorite book but she couldn’t let Remus know that without him becoming suspicious.

“I guess it helped influence you in transferring here,” he smiled.

Hermione nodded.

“What were you doing snooping around the library anyway?” she asked him, trying to change the subject. She would talk to him about the book some other time.

His smile wavered for a second. “Lily sent me. She’s worried about you.”

A wave of warmth went through Hermione as she thought of Lily. Of course she had been worried and sent Remus to find her.

“Where’s the rest of the gang?” asked Hermione. It was rare seeing Remus without James, Sirius, or Peter. The only time he wasn’t with them was in Ancient Runes or when he had prefect duty with Lily.

“Sirius and Peter are in the common room. James was at Quidditch practice when I left to come here but I’m guessing it’s over and he’s probably up there with Sirius and Peter now, it’s getting late,” said Remus. He paused for a moment before continuing. “Lily wanted me to bring you back to the common room.”

“Oh,” she said softly. “I don’t know, Remus…”

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” he asked.

He gave her such a sincere look that she felt herself break. The tears she had suppressed since that morning started building up in her eyes and she tried her best to hold them back but failed. At this point, Remus was looking extremely concerned and looked at a loss for words as Hermione put her face on his shoulder and softly cried silent tears. He didn’t push her away like she had expected – after all, she was acting ridiculous – but he let her use his shoulder for comfort. They stayed like that for a few moments. Hermione on his shoulder and Remus patting her back.

“It’s my birthday…” she finally whispered.

Remus shifted in position and she was sure he was staring down at her. She craned her neck up and looked at his surprised face.

“Is that why you’re upset?” he asked. There was no sign of humor in his voice like she had expected and she nodded. “You’re homesick.”

It wasn’t a question and Hermione straightened up in her own chair and stopped leaning on Remus. She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. With a shaky laugh she smiled somberly. “I miss my friends.”

Remus nodded in understanding. Another moment passed as they sat together in silence.

“Just so you know, I won’t force you to go back to the common room but you can’t stay here,” he said, breaking the silence. Hermione looked at him in confusion. “The library closes in ten minutes and Madam Pince won’t like us being here.”

Ten minutes? Hermione hadn’t realize that it was already nearing eight. Nearly six hours had passed since she came to the library.

“But just beware, curfew is in an hour and I don’t want to have to give you a detention.” He jokingly gave his Prefect badge a shake and smiled.

“Alright, fine. I’ll go back to the common room,” sighed Hermione. A few years ago she had accidentally stayed in the library past its closing and being scolded by Madam Pince was not something she wanted to experience again.

On the way out of the library, Hermione returned her book and she and Remus made their way back to Gryffindor tower.

The common room was crowded due to it being so close to curfew and James and Sirius were entertaining a group of onlookers in front of the fire with a game of exploding snaps. Of course, Peter was in the front row and cheered loudly as a card exploded in Sirius’s hand leaving a small cloud of black smoke.

“Hermione!” called Lily. She smiled and got up from a chair in the back of the common room and hurried over to Hermione. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, really Lily,” insisted Hermione and she returned Lily’s smile. “I’m sorry for acting so strangely earlier.”

“Don’t even think about it,” said Lily carelessly, with a wave of her arm. “I’m glad Remus brought you back.”

A groan came from the crowd around James and Sirius as Hermione saw Remus whisper something in James’s ear. She hadn’t even seen Remus leave her side when they entered the common room but whatever he was saying upset the crowd because James and Sirius stopped their game.

“Don’t worry, guys,” grinned Sirius to the small crowd in front of him. “We’ll be back!”

The crowd murmured as James and Sirius ran up the stairs towards the boys’ dormitories and returned shortly. Instead of going back in front of the fire, they made their way to the portrait hole.

“It’s almost curfew!” called out Lily to them. “You’ll get caught!”

James sent her a wicked grin. “I’m positive that no one will catch us, Evans. But thanks for voicing your concern for us.”

Hermione was sure that she saw him pat his bag where she had a good notion that the invisibility cloak and Marauder’s map were tucked safely away in it.

“Don’t worry, Lily,” said Remus who reappeared beside Hermione. “If they get caught then it’s just one more detention they’ll have this year.”

Remus left again and went over to talk to Peter so Hermione joined Lily at the table she had been sitting at when she came in. A few minutes after James and Sirius had left, the portrait hole opened and Mary climbed in and joined them at the table. The three of them talked for a while and Hermione was grateful that neither of them brought up Hermione’s “episode” from earlier.

About half an hour after the disappearance of James and Sirius, the portrait swung open and in crawled the two boys with huge, satisfied, smiles on their faces. Their arms were piled high with snacks and bottles of butterbeer.

“Told you we’d be back!” yelled Sirius as he and James dumped their stolen goods on the nearest table. His eyes found Hermione through the crowd and pointed at her with a huge grin. “Now let’s have a party for the birthday girl!”

“Cheers to Hermione Dawson on her seventeenth birthday!” shouted James, holding up a bottle of butterbeer in her direction. “Without her, Gryffindor would have considerably less points!”

Hermione’s mouth dropped open and she felt her face start to burn as every head in the common room turned towards her. Lily looked just as shocked as she felt. There was a rush of people coming up to her wishing her a happy birthday as they made their way to get food.

Remus sent her a wink from the other side of the room.

“It’s your birthday?” gaped Lily, not even trying to hide her surprise.

“That’s why you’ve been so distant today!” said Mary.

At that moment, James and Sirius walked up to them with butterbeers in their hands.

“Here you are, birthday girl,” said Sirius handing Hermione a bottle. “And one for you,” he handed one to Mary with a wink and Mary pursed her lips as she took it.

“Let’s not forget Evans,” grinned James and he handed a bottle to Lily who accepted it with a small smile.

Sirius moved to beside Hermione and lowered his voice. “This was actually Remus’s idea but Prongs and I plan on taking full credit. Happy Birthday.”

With a wink and salute, he and James walked back into the crowd and joined the party.

“Why didn’t you tell us it was your birthday!” said Lily as she opened her bottle of butterbeer.

“Because I didn’t want a big deal to be made,” sighed Hermione. She took a sip of her butterbeer and let the sweet liquid warm her body. “As you see, my plan backfired.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how come it being your birthday makes you so upset?” asked Mary. “Most people love celebrating their birthday, especially when they turn of age.”

Before she could answer, Lily spoke up with a sudden realization, “In the Great Hall earlier,” she said, “During lunch, you kept looking around as if you were waiting for mail. Did you not hear from your friends? Was that why you were upset?

Hermione’s chest tightened at the thought of her friends. “No I haven’t heard from them,” because they aren’t even born yet she thought. “It just didn’t feel right not being able to spend my birthday with my friends,” said Hermione, taking another sip of her drink.

“Well, you’re here celebrating your birthday with your new friends,” said Mary with a smile and nod. “Now let’s celebrate.”

Mary took Hermione and Lily’s arms and dragged them into the party.

The food that had been taken from the kitchen was delicious and Hermione was grateful for it since she had missed dinner. When Hermione had believed that there wouldn’t be a party with stolen food by Fred and George she had been right. This time the party was planned by Remus and the food was stolen by James and Sirius. Even though she couldn’t be with Harry and Ron she had Lily and Mary and that wasn’t so bad. It was a night she never would have expected in her wildest dreams.

And it was clearly a birthday she’d never forget.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

September ended and the first day of October arrived with an unexpected heatwave. All around the school students were rolling the sleeves of their robes up, desperately trying to keep cool. One boy, the Ravenclaw that Hermione had Charms class with that had called out, constantly was using the Augamenti charm on himself as he walked down the corridor, leaving a trail of water behind him. Filch spent the entire day with a mop in his hand, trying to catch him but with no such luck.

No one knew why it was so hot that Friday on the first day of October. If anything, it felt like June. The sun was shining and once the last block of classes ended almost the entire school was spending time outside, including Hermione.

As soon as class ended Lily and Mary had talked Hermione into joining them by the lake and they were now sitting with their shoes and socks off at the edge of the lake, their feet hanging in the water of the dazzlingly smooth surface of the lake. Although Hermione initially wanted to get started on her weekend’s homework, she had to admit the cool water did feel amazing and did a marvelous job of cooling her off.

“Out of all the years I’ve spent at Hogwarts, it had never been this hot in October,” said Mary as she wiggled her toes under the water.

“I’d sit here all day if I could,” sighed Lily with a smile, closing her eyes. “It feels so lovely now.”

“It’s not lovely, it’s hot,” said Mary rolling her eyes and using her hand to fan herself. “This better be a onetime thing. If October continues to stay this hot I may die.”

“Stop being so overly dramatic,” said Lily. She kicked her foot and splashed water in Mary’s direction. Mary gasped as she got hit with the cool water and kicked some right back at Lily.

All hell broke loose as Mary and Lily splashed water at each other, yelling and laughing hysterically. Hermione tried to shield her book bag from the water but she grinned as she watched the two of them.

From somewhere behind her, Hermione could hear someone give an enthusiastic cheer followed by voice, undeniably Sirius’s, saying loudly, “put that away, will you? Before Wormtail wets himself from excitement.”

Hermione looked over her shoulder and saw the Marauders a few yards away. Sirius and Peter where watching James play around with a golden snitch and Remus was reading a book. They were sitting in the shade of a beech tree on the edge of the lake; the very same beech tree that she, Harry, and Ron had spent the day doing homework under last year. The memory brought a bittersweet smile to her face.

“James and that stupid snitch,” grumbled Lily. She and Mary had finished their water battle and she too was watching the Marauders. “He isn’t even the seeker, he’s a chaser!”

“It makes him feel cool,” shrugged Mary. “Who cares what they’re doing anyway?”

But Hermione couldn’t stop watching the boys. Another group of girls sitting a little while away were also watching the Marauders; they looked at James and Sirius longingly causing Hermione to roll her eyes. She watched as James stuffed the snitch in his pocket. Of course Sirius would be the only one to be able to make James stop showing off…

“Just ignore them, Hermione,” said Mary trying to pull Hermione’s attention away from the boys. “They’re being stupid.”

Hermione turned away and stared back at the lake. “James could get in trouble for stealing that snitch,” she mused.

“Then today wouldn’t be any different from any other day when James lands himself in detention,” snorted Mary. Hermione laughed and Lily shook her head with a small smile.

James did find himself in detention often. Usually accompanied with Sirius. They managed to get themselves in detention at least once a week for their pranks, hexes on other students, or their nightly strolls around the castle. One would think that someone who owned an invisibility cloak would not get caught so easily but this obviously was not the case for James.

“All right, Snivellus?” yelled James causing the three girls to look back over to him.

They were not the only ones staring along with the other group of girls now. It seemed that everyone in the vicinity was staring at James, who was now standing alongside Sirius. Peter sat, looking on with a great sense of anticipation while Remus was still sitting against the tree with his book, but he was looking up with his brows furrowed in worry. James had this gleam in his eyes as he called out to Snape who had appeared from behind some bushes.

Hermione heard Lily gasp as Snape reacted instantaneously by dropping his bag and diving into his robes for his wand. Even with Snape’s instant reaction he was no match for James, who quickly disarmed him. Sirius howled with laughter from beside James.

“Impedimenta!” said James as Snape tried to dive for his wand, which had flown into the grass behind him. Snape was almost at his wand when he was knocked off of his feet and into the grass.

A crowd had gathered around to watch the fight between Snape and James. Peter was now standing and looking on hungrily. While some of crowd looked on in distaste, Hermione was disgusted to see that most of them seemed thoroughly entertained to see James attacking Snape. For the first time in her life, Hermione felt bad for her potions professor.

“Lily, no!” gasped Mary. Hermione turned towards the two girls as Lily jumped to her feet and started moving angrily towards the boys; her face set in vengeful determination. She never ended up making it, Mary had moved too quickly and was now up from the edge of the lake and holding Lily back. “You don’t want to get involved!”

“Like hell I don’t!” said Lily, her green eyes blazing.

Hermione too was now standing and trying to help Mary who was struggling with a squirming Lily. Lily sent Mary such a livid look that Hermione was surprised that Mary hadn’t faltered or let Lily go because of it. In the month that she had known her, Hermione had never seen Lily look so angry.

Snape was now staring up at James with a look of the purest loathing. He was muttering a mix of swear words and hexes. Not that the hexes did anything since his wand still lay in the grass behind him.

James’s eyes narrowed as he stared down at Snape. Clearly not pleased with his language.

“Wash out your mouth,” he said coldly before he raised his wand again. “Scourgify!”

Pink bubbles started to pour from Snape’s mouth and Hermione felt sick as he started to choke and gag on them. Beside her, Mary’s hands were covering her own mouth in shock. Neither of them realized that Mary had released Lily when her hands went to her mouth until they heard Lily yell.

“Leave him ALONE!” she yelled as she marched up to them, still barefoot from the lake.

Hermione moved closer to them in an attempt to follow Lily but Mary grabbed her arm and held her back before she got all the way there. “No,” whispered Mary. “I think Lily needs to do this on her own.” Hermione huffed and crossed her arms. It was taking all of her willpower not to go and yell along with Lily but Mary had a point. This seemed like something Lily had to get out of her system.

As Lily approached, Sirius and James turned to face her and James’s hand automatically went through his hair to make it messier.

“All right, Evans?” James asked in a pleasant tone while Snape continued to choke on bubbles on the ground beside him.

“Leave him alone,” said Lily darkly. She was giving James a look of pure disgust. “What’s he done to you?”

“Well,” James paused and pretended to think for a moment before continuing, “it’s more of the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…”

Around him the crowd laughed but no one laughed harder than Sirius and Peter. Hermione noticed that Remus at least had the decency not to laugh but she was angry that he just sat there and did nothing to control his friends. After all, he was a prefect! Instead, he seemed to be staring intently at his book trying his best to ignore the situation next to him.

Lily didn’t laugh either.

“You think you’re funny,” said Lily angrily. “But you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone.”

If Hermione thought that Lily had been softening up to James over the past month she had been wrong. Lily seemed to despise James.  How in the world did these two end up married?

“I will if you go out with me, Evans,” said James quickly. “Go on… Go out with me, and I’ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.”

If Snape had been looking at James with hatred before he had said this, it was nothing compared to the rage in Snape’s eyes now. The impedimenta jinx was wearing off and Snape spat out pink soapsuds as he slowly pulled himself towards his fallen wand.

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” spat Lily.

“Bad luck, Prongs,” said Sirius to James before looking back at Snape who was almost at his wand. “OI!”

Sirius’s warning was too late. Snape had reached his wand and aimed it directly at James. There was a flash of light and Hermione watched as a gash appeared on James’s cheek, dripping blood onto his robes.

James spun around, a look of fury in his eyes and aimed his wand at Snape. There was another flash of light and Snape was hanging upside down with his robes falling over his head to show his skinny, pale legs and his underpants.

The crowd around them cheered while James, Peter, and Sirius laughed.

The furious expression on Lily’s face wavered slightly and Hermione swore she almost smirked before her fury returned. “Let him down!” she yelled.

James grinned at her. “Certainly.” He waved his wand and Snape fell to the ground in a heap. It took him a moment to unravel himself from being caught in his robes before he jumped up with his wand pointing at James.

He wasn’t quick enough as Sirius yelled, “Petrificus Totalus!” and Snape went rigid and once again fell to the ground.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” yelled Lily. She reached into her robes and pulled out her own wand.

“We have to do something!” Hermione said to Mary but Mary was just watching with her mouth slightly open, not seeming to hear Hermione.

“Ah, Evans, don’t make me hex you,” groaned James.

“Take the curse off him, then!” said Lily.

With a defeated sigh, James turned towards Snape and waved his wand and undid the spell.

“There you go,” he sighed as Snape struggled to his feet. “You’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus—”

“I don’t need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!” Snape yelled at James.

The color drained from Lily’s face as she took in what Snape had said. She blinked. “Fine,” she said blankly. “I won’t bother in the future. And I’d wash my pants if I were you, Snivellus.”

“Apologize to Evans!” roared James. He pointed his wand back at Snape and his eyes were filled with rage.

“I don’t want you to make him apologize! You’re just as bad as he is…” Lily spat.

“What?” asked James in aghast. “I’d NEVER call you a – a you-know-what!”

“Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you’ve just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.”

She looked as though she was going to cry and she turned away from James and quickly walked in the direction of the castle.

“Evans!” James shouted after her, “Hey, EVANS!”

Yet, she did not turn around.

“I’m going after her,” said Mary and she took off after Lily, calling her name.

“What is it with her?” demanded James trying to hide how hurt he was as he watched her walk away.

“Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate,” stated Sirius as he watched Lily and Mary walk out of sight.

“Right,” said James looking furious. “Right—”

James turned back to Snape and flicked his wand. There was a third flash of light and Snape was back in the air, upside down again.

“Who wants to see me take off Snively’s pants?” called James.

There were cheers and shouts of encouragement from the crowd who seemed to loath Snape even more after what he had said to Lily.

“Stop!” yelled Hermione. There was no Lily to fight this fight and no Mary to hold her back. She couldn’t stand by and let this happen. She ran up to where James was standing and stood between him and Snape. “Just let him be!”

James stared at her with wide eyes. “You heard what he said to Evans! Don’t you dare defend him, Dawson!”

Hermione stared him down for a moment before pulling out her own wand. James eyed it carefully but Hermione had no desire to use it on him. Instead, she turned around and waved it at Snape and he fell back to the ground.

“Get out of here,” she called out to him.

“I didn’t need help from one mudblood what makes you think I wanted help from another?” he spat at her.

“Hey!” called Remus who had abandoned his book and was finally standing, looking on in anger.

“How DARE you?” shouted Sirius

“Don’t talk to her like that!” yelled James at the same time. He and Sirius pointed their wands threateningly at Snape.

“No!” yelled Hermione, moving in front of their wands. “Don’t!” She turned towards Snape and narrowed her eyes and said as icily as possible, “Just go before I change my mind.”

Sneering, Snape pulled himself off the ground, grabbed his bag and hurried off towards the castle.

“And you lot can clear out!” she yelled towards the on looking crowd.

The surrounding people sent her odd looks and murmured as they slowly broke apart and went about their own business. Hermione turned back towards the Marauders, who were wearing looks of anger.

“You shouldn’t have let him go, Hermione,” said James. “Not after what he called you and Lily.”

“I’m used to it,” growled Hermione and all four boys’ eyes widened and they looked shocked.

“Are you alright, Hermione?” asked Remus cautiously as he took a step towards her.

“No, I’m not alright!” yelled Hermione. She turned towards James, Sirius, and Peter. “You guys are awful! And you—” she turned towards Remus. “You’re just as bad as them for not trying to stop them! You just let it happen! I had higher expectations of you!”

Furious, Hermione turned away from them and walked back to the edge of the lake. Lily and Mary had both left their shoes by the water and Hermione picked them up and put them in her bag before quickly slipping into her own shoes.

“Hermione, wait—”

But Hermione ignored them and started walking back towards the castle to find Lily. The boys didn’t bother following her.

Hermione didn’t enjoy the walk back to the castle. She was feeling infuriated after what she had just witnessed. She no longer felt any sympathy towards Snape. Although James had attacked Snape unprovoked, that didn’t excuse what he had said to Lily and herself. Lily had every right to be upset by it.

And the Marauders! They were all a bunch of bullies! Snape had always said James was arrogant and she couldn’t help but agree with him. The behavior James and Sirius displayed was disgusting and the fact that Peter egged them on and Remus didn’t do anything to stop it was just as bad. She couldn’t believe that Remus would just let that happen… Out of all of them he had the most sense, he could have made them stop.

The common room was empty due the heat; everyone was still outside. Hermione walked through it and started to make her way up to her dormitory. As she neared the door, it opened and Mary came out, closing the door quietly behind her. Mary gave a little jump when she turned and saw Hermione.

“Blimey, Hermione…” she gasped and her hand went to her chest. “I didn’t see you coming.”

“How’s Lily?” asked Hermione.

Mary frowned and shook her head. “I think she just needs some time alone.”

“You and Lily forgot your shoes, by the way,” said Hermione reaching into her bag and pulling out Mary’s shoes.

“Thanks,” smiled Mary as she took them. “Here, let’s get out of the stairwell.”

The two of them walked down the stairs and into the common room. They sat down on one of the couches and sat silently for a moment. Mary put her shoes back on.

“I can’t believe that happened…” muttered Hermione, breaking the silence.

“I’m not surprised,” sighed Mary, crossing his arms. “It was bound to happen sooner or later. I never liked Snape.”

“What did Lily even see in him?” asked Hermione. She could never make any sense out of the friendship between Lily and Snape, it was too strange.

The look on Mary’s face gave Hermione the impression that the story she was about to tell had been told to her many times.

“Lily’s family lives in Cokeworth. You know, in England? Well, Snape’s family lives there as well; in the same neighborhood. They’ve known each other since they were nine.”

This was definitely news to Hermione.

“He was the one that first realized she was a witch,” continued Mary. “Lily’s sister, Petunia – who sounds like a nasty piece of work to me from what I’ve heard – treated Lily awfully when she found out. At that point, Snape was the only other magical person that she knew. They became friends and stayed friends until about ten minutes ago by the looks of it…”

Why hadn’t anyone ever mentioned in her time that Lily has been good childhood friends with Snape? Everyone must have known… Dumbledore, McGonagall, Sirius, and Lupin all knew and no one said anything. Why hadn’t anyone told Harry that his mother had been friends with Snape? All those years of Harry not trusting him could have been avoided by telling him that. Would Harry have trusted Snape and given him more of a chance if he had known? Hermione wasn’t so sure. Maybe he was better off not knowing.

“I’m honestly surprised that they even lasted this long. They’re so different from one another,” said Hermione.

Mary snorted. “More like exact opposites. Everyone Lily has befriended has been the anti-Snape. She has always had very kind friends. Look at you and Remus, for example. She was also good friends with Alice Fortescue and Marlene McKinnon before they graduated last year. Both of them Gryffindors and both of them very nice.”

“And you,” added Hermione and Mary smiled reluctantly.

“Yes, and me… but I wasn’t always supportive of Lily, especially last year,” said Mary, her smile fading.

“What happened last year?” asked Hermione. She couldn’t imagine Lily and Mary not getting along. Especially since they were the only Gryffindor girls in their year.

“Snape’s friends happened,” said Mary, her brown eyes seemed to grow darker at whatever memory she was thinking about. “Have you have the misfortune of meeting Mulciber and Avery? The Slytherin blokes that sit in the very back of the Potions classroom and hang around Snape at meals?”

Hermione knew exactly who Mary was talking about. They were both fairly large for sixteen year olds and each had equally awful sneers for faces. There was something incredibly creepy about the two boys. When she first heard their names she had recognized them from her own time. Mulciber and Avery were both Death Eaters and both of them were at the Department of Mysteries fighting against Dumbledore’s Army. 

“They’re evil, Hermione,” said Mary when Hermione didn’t reply. “Especially Mulciber. And I don’t mean evil in a teenage arsehole type of way. I mean evil,” she lowered her voice even though the common room was empty. “They use Dark Magic.”

“How do you know?” asked Hermione widening her eyes. Of course she already knew this but how on earth would Mary know?

“Last year, I was leaving the toilet when I heard footsteps behind me. When I turned around, Mulciber was walking towards me. Avery was by his side, and Mulciber called me a blood traitor for being friends with Lily. I turned to walk away when I was hit by some spell. I remember feeling like I couldn’t breathe… like all the air was being sucked out of me.”

Hermione gasped and her hand went to her mouth and Mary shuddered slightly at the memory.

“It was like I was drowning but out of water,” said Mary slowly, shaking her head. “The last thing I remembered was the sound of Mulciber and Avery laughing. Someone else was coming and I saw the two of them run away before I passed out and woke up a week later in the hospital wing. If that other person hadn’t found me, who knows what could have happened. I never could prove it was them since I had my back turned but I’m positive it was Mulciber.”

“It sounds pretty obvious that is was them and that sounds like very dark magic!” gasped Hermione. “You could have died! How could they get away with that?”

“There were no witnesses,” said Mary bitterly. There was definitely no sound of forgiveness in her voice and Hermione didn’t blame her. “I didn’t talk to Lily for a while after I left the Hospital. I had tried to convince her to stay away from them but she kept defending Snape, saying it wasn’t his fault because he wasn’t even there. Still, he’s friends with those two and who’s to say he wasn’t actually there?” she scoffed and crossed her arms. “Lily ended up getting in a fight with him a few weeks later anyway and she apologized to me and we’ve been fine ever since. Thinking back, I probably shouldn’t have taken my anger for them out on her…”

“I’m sure she didn’t blame you, Mary,” Hermione tried to comfort her.

Mary laughed bitterly. “Of course she didn’t! Because Lily deserves better than all of us. And she certainly deserves better than Snape and it kills me that it had to come to this for her to see it.”

Hermione and Mary continued to talk on the couch for a while. They stayed in the Common Room instead of going up to the dormitory to give Lily as much time and space as she needed. It started to get dark out and more and more people entered the common room. None of the Marauders made an appearance.

A muffled yell came from outside of the portrait hole and Hermione and Mary looked up and then at each other. Another yell came followed by a thump on the portrait and more heads around the room looked up in confusion.

“What-?” started Hermione. She stood up and was followed by Mary.

They walked up to the portrait hole and started to crawl through as they heard another person yell. With a quick glance at Mary, Hermione pushed the portrait open.

Standing in front of the portrait was none other than Severus Snape, looking extremely pissed off. Around him stood a bunch of Gryffindor first years looking frightened.

“What do you think you’re doing, Snape?” demanded Mary as she climbed out of the portrait.

“This Slytherin keeps trying to get into the Common Room!” piped up a small blonde boy who was pointing at Snape. “We wouldn’t give up the password but he keeps yelling and trying to make us!”

“And he tried to bang on the Portrait of the Fat Lady!” said one of the first year girls.

Mary sent a daggered look towards Snape and he actually recoiled at it. She looked down on the group of first years. “Go on, then. Get in the common room, we’ll deal with him.” She seemed to spit the last word with as much venom as she could and the first years hurried past her and climbed through the portrait hole.

“Should I get Professor McGonagall?” asked Hermione, looking at Mary.

“No!” yelled Snape, looking slightly frightened now.

“And why shouldn’t we?” demanded Mary. “I’m sure she’d love to know that you’re yelling at first years and trying to break into our common room.”

“Please, Mary… Let me talk to Lily,” he begged.

“Absolutely not!” said Mary.

He turned towards Hermione. “Hermione... I’m sorry about what I called you and Lily. It was an accident! Please, just let me explain to Lily.”

Mary quickly turned to Hermione, her mouth open. “He called you one as well?” she demanded.

“Yes,” muttered Hermione who was still staring at Snape. He was now on his knees, looking incredibly pathetic.

“I didn’t mean it!” His dark eyes were wide as he stared at Hermione. He had obviously given up trying to convince Mary who, by the look of her, would have liked nothing better than to squash him like a cockroach.

“You should leave before James and Sirius come back, Severus,” said Hermione. Snape’s eyes narrowed at their names. “I saved you from them earlier but I doubt I can stop them again if they catch you here.”

Snape clearly didn’t like admitting that Hermione had been the one to stop James and Sirius from doing any serious damage to his person but he held back his protest.

“I just want to apologize to Lily,” he said slowly.

“She doesn’t want to speak to you,” said Mary.

“Then I’ll sleep here! I’ll stay here all night and talk to her when she leaves the common room tomorrow!”

Mary’s eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Do you want to bet on that, Macdonald?” sneered Snape.

Hermione turned towards Mary. “Maybe we should just get Lily,” she whispered. “She’s the only one that will convince him to leave.”

“Fine,” said Mary, her face softening. “I’ll get her.”

Mary went to get Lily and Hermione was now alone with Snape who was still kneeling on the floor.

“I really am sorry,” he said to her once the portrait closed behind Mary.

“No you’re not,” said Hermione, trying to keep a neutral tone. “If you were really sorry, and it really had been just an accident, you wouldn’t have called me a Mudblood as well.”

Snape’s eyebrow raised at her casual use of the word but he shook his head and grew angry again.

“It’s Potter and Black’s fault! It wouldn’t have happened if they hadn’t attacked me!”

“Don’t think we aren’t angry with them as well. We’ll deal them with later. Lily was trying to help you and how did you repay her?” said Hermione and Snape gave her a look of loathing.

Behind her, the portrait opened and Mary came out with Lily behind her. It looked as though Lily had been preparing to go to bed early. She was already in her dressing gown, had slippers on, and was wearing a look of distaste. The moment he saw her, Snape immediately stood up and took a step forward but Lily put her hand up and he stopped.

“What do you want, Severus,” she sighed, crossing her arm.

“I wanted to apologize for what I called you…” he said quickly.

“And for what you called Hermione?” asked Lily and Snape’s mouth fell open. “Did you think Mary wouldn’t tell me?”

Snape sent the dirtiest look at Mary who stared him down.

“I think you should leave,” said Lily.

“Just hear me out!” he begged.

Lily sent a look to Hermione and Mary. “Can you give us a minute?”

Before Mary had time to protest, Hermione pulled her through the portrait and they started to crawl into the Common Room but Mary stopped her on the other side of the portrait. She held her finger to her mouth to tell Hermione to keep quiet and she silently pushed the portrait open slightly so they could watch Lily and Snape through the small gap. Hermione felt a little bad for eavesdropping but her curiosity had won her over.

“Well?” said Lily. Her back was to the portrait hole but Hermione could tell that her arms were still crossed.

“I shouldn’t have called you and Hermione that word…” said Snape.

“No. No you shouldn’t have,” said Lily.

“Come on, Lil—”

“No. I’m done,” said Lily.

“You don’t mean that—”

“Oh, but I do,” said Lily. “This was the last straw, Severus. I’ve forgiven you for all the things you’ve said since we met but I don’t think I can forgive this.”

“I’m sorry,” he said simply. His shoulders were slumped in a very non-Snape manner and he looked more vulnerable than Hermione had ever seen him.

“I’m not interested,” she replied.

His mouth fell open and he gaped at her, obviously troubled by her response.

“I’m sorry!” he repeated desperately.

“Save your breath,” she said icily back. “I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.”

“I was. I would have done,” said Snape earnestly. “I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just –”

“Slipped out?” There was not even an ounce of pity in Lily’s voice. “It’s too late. I’ve made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends –” Snape flinched but didn’t protest the statement. “You see, you don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?”

He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking. He seemed to realize that Lily wasn’t going to forgive him like all the times in the past.

“I can’t pretend anymore. You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine,” said Lily.

“No – listen, I didn’t mean –” he started urgently.

“— to call me Mudblood?” interrupted Lily. “But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?”

Snape looked at a loss for words, but with a look of distaste Lily turned and climbed back through the portrait hole. Mary and Hermione made a mad rush out of the portrait hole to one of the couches in the common room and Lily walked in. Her face looked like it was set in stone. Other people in the common room watched her as she walked up to the couch Hermione and Mary had sat at, curious about the argument that had just taken place.

“I know you two were listening,” she said and sighed. “I saw that the portrait hadn’t closed all the way.”

They started to apologize but Lily smiled.

“Are you guys going to come upstairs and talk about it or not?” She was still smiling as she walked past them and up the stairs to the girls’ dormitories.

Hermione and Mary exchanged a confused look but followed Lily up to their dormitory. When they opened the door, Lily was sitting on her bed and was… laughing?

“That felt so good,” she choked out. “I should have done that a long time ago! I should have done it after what Mulciber did to you, Mary!”

Hermione watched in shock at Lily sat there laughing. Mary seemed stunned as well.

“Lil… Are you alright?” said Mary with her eyebrow raised.

“It’s funny actually. I’m more upset about losing my shoes than I am about losing him!”

“I actually have your shoes, Lily,” said Hermione, remembering that they were in her bag. She pulled them out and handed them over to Lily.

Lily laughing harder as she grabbed her shoes causing her hair to fall in her face. She pushed it away and gave a huge grin towards Hermione and Mary.

“Lily?” asked Mary looking slightly dazed at how Lily was acting.

“You know,” said Lily, beaming. “I thought I’d be sad about this. About losing Severus as a friend but, I think I’m going to be just fine. More than fine. I feel free!”

And by the look on Lily’s face, Hermione actually believed her.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10 - Surprises

Well, Hermione had been wrong about Lily. She was definitely not “just fine”.

Lily did seem to care about losing Snape as a friend. She cared a lot. That night, her laughter had quickly turned to tears which then progressed into gross sobbing. Hermione and Mary had spent the rest of the night trying to comfort her until she tired herself out and fell asleep.

A few days after the event at the lake, Lily seemed to be doing better. It had taken a lot of constant convincing from Mary but Lily was finally starting to see that she was probably better off without Snape as a friend. Yet, she still had moments of guilt and regret.

The three girls had decided to distance themselves from the boys which caused things to be strange. Hermione hadn’t realized how attached she had grown to the Marauders until she couldn’t hang around them anymore. It was difficult but at the same time she knew she was doing the right thing.

Yet, classes just seemed off. There was definitely a different atmosphere about them now that Hermione didn’t sit near the Marauders. There was also the awkward tension in classes due to Lily and Snape’s fight. Lily decided to join Mary and Hermione at their cauldron in Potions and Snape had joined Avery and Mulciber which caused many eyebrows to be raised, including Professor Slughorn’s.

There was now a very apparent divide between the Gryffindor sixth year girls and boys.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

“This is bad,” said Sirius.

“Very bad,” said Peter.

“Yes. This is definitely bad,” said Remus nodding in agreement.

Remus was in his messy, scarlet and gold, poster and banner plastered dormitory. He, Sirius, and Peter were staring at James, who was lying face down on his bed. Remus had never seen him like this. He looked so utterly defeated.

It was pathetic.

By now, the entire school knew what had gone down between James and Snape and then what happened with Snape and Lily afterwards. It was everything anyone had talked about the day after it happened. People were still talking about it even though it was five days later.

Five days. That’s how long Hermione, Lily, and Mary had been ignoring them.

The school had also started to notice that the girls were completely snubbing the Marauders and it had really taken a toll on James’s spirit. He had attempted to talk to Lily during class numerous times over the past few days but she didn’t even look at him. No snarky comment, no eye roll, just nothing. The same thing happened when they tried to talk to Hermione.

Earlier that day James had made one more hopeful attempt to talk to Lily but with no luck. As soon as James had finished with classes, he silently walked back to the boys’ dormitory and face planted on his bed and hadn’t moved since.

“Prongs, mate, she’ll come around!” encouraged Sirius from his own bed. Remus was also sitting on Sirius’s bed with Peter beside him.

“She can’t ignore you forever,” said Peter.

A mix of a mumble and groan came from James and Remus sighed.

“You could try to talk to her again, James,” said Remus.

Really, he was giving himself the same advice. The fact that Hermione, Lily, and Mary were ignoring him, as well as James – even though he had never been very close with Mary – bothered him.

Hermione had been right. Maybe he should have stepped in. Okay, not maybe… he definitely should have stopped it before it even began. This entire situation would have been avoided and he would be able to talk to Hermione instead of her giving him the cold shoulder.

And Lily, he quickly thought.

Yes, and Lily. He hadn’t had Prefect duties with her since before the incident but he knew that when they had them together it was going to be incredibly awkward. It would, however, give him a great opportunity to apologize to her.

He just wished he could think of a good way to apologize to Hermione. He didn’t really spend time with Lily outside of prefect duties so Hermione was his only friend that he spent time with who took classwork seriously. Unlike the guys, she would rather read a book in her spare time than hex a Slytherin in the corridors.

“Ghee dowent won tawk ta me” mumbled James with his face stuffed in his pillow.

Sirius ducked behind Remus with his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing at how ridiculous James was being.

“Come again?” inquired Remus, massaging his temples. He had a headache and wasn’t in the best mood himself.

James lifted his face a few inches off of his pillow. “She doesn’t want to talk to me!” he wailed and stuffed his face back in the pillow.

“She’s probably in the common room now, Prongs. Just go down and talk to her,” said Peter giving James a look of pity. “It’s easy for her to ignore you in class but maybe she’ll talk to you in the privacy of the common room.”

Even though he didn’t necessarily think it would work, Remus had to hand it to Peter. It did seem like the most logical way of getting Lily to talk to James.

James must have thought so too because he, again, lifted his head off of his pillow but this time he turned and looked at the three of them sitting on Sirius’s bed.

“You know what?” he said. “I will!” With his face was set in determination he sat up.

His black hair was even messier than usual and he didn’t even bother to attempt to flatten it as he stood up. He fixed his square glasses, which had gone askew, and strolled out of the door without another word.

“Wait up, mate!” called Sirius who took off after him followed by Peter.

Remus moved to follow them and by the time he left the dormitory James was already almost at the bottom of the spiral staircase.

When he reached the bottom, Remus saw James looking around the nearly empty common room for dark red hair but with no luck. He looked visibly disappointed. Sirius, on the other hand, took it as a challenge.

“I know one way we can find her,” Sirius said with his mischievous grin that Remus knew all too well.

Sirius tugged on James’s arm and pulled him over to the nearest empty table. He pulled an old looking piece of parchment out of his back pocket and laid it down on the table.

“Do you always just keep that in your back pocket?” mused Remus and Sirius ignored him.

“I don’t know why we didn’t just use this in the first place,” said Sirius, grinning down at the Marauder’s Map. They had finally perfected it halfway through last year. “You’re the smart one, Moony. I’m a little disappointed in you for not thinking of this.”

“You wouldn’t be the first one to be disappointed in me,” muttered Remus. Sirius gave him a look and rolled his eyes.

“Save the dramatics for Prongs, Moony,” he said as he pulled out his wand. He looked over his shoulders to make sure no one was watching or listening before tapping the parchment and whispering, “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”

The map came to life and thin trails of ink appeared and started swimming across the parchment like spider webs. The ink slowly spiraled together – a feature Remus prided himself with – and began to form large, curly, emerald, letters, on the top of the parchment, spelling out:

Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs.

Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present:

THE MARAUDER'S MAP 

Beneath it, bits of dark ink fanned out over the parchment and began to reveal every corner of Hogwarts. Little labeled dots appeared all over it showing where every person in the castle and on the grounds were.

Remus still had trouble believing that the four of them had created such a beautiful and complex map.

“Well look at that, Jared Muller and Sarah Connelly seem to be getting quite comfortable in that broom cupboard,” snickered Sirius as he pointed to their dots on the fifth floor.

“I’ll never be able to look at him the same,” said James with a smirk.

“Ah, he’s a git anyway,” said Sirius. “She’s only with him because he’s captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team.”

“Guys, focus,” said Remus, rubbing his forehead again. “We’re supposed to be looking to see where Lily is.”

James’s face turned serious. “Right…”

“That’s an easy one,” said Peter as he pointed at the map. “She’s there, in her dormitory.”

Before Sirius had even finished saying “Mischief Managed” or anyone had a chance to say anything else, James took off in the direction of the girls’ stairwell. Remus, Sirius, and Peter rushed after him.

“Wait—” Remus began but it was too late.

James had already begun to climb the stairs, taking two at a time, when it happened.

There was an earsplitting noise, almost like a warning horn, and the stone steps melted together to create a shiny, smooth, slide. Remus was impressed with how far James managed to make it before his arms began to flail wildly. He finally lost his balance, fell backwards, and shot down the slide, landing at Remus, Sirius, and Peter’s feet.

A groan came from James and he looked up at the three other boys in bewilderment. Sirius lost himself and doubled over in a fit of laughter.

“What the…” spluttered James as Remus grabbed his hand and helped him to his feet. James began rubbing his backside and he looked very displeased.

“I tried to warn you…” said Remus, shaking his head.

James continued to look bewildered. “Why did it do that?” he demanded.

“Boys can’t go in the girls’ dormitories, mate. Something to do with the Founders not trusting boys or something,” said Sirius with a gleam of laughter in his eyes.

Remus turned towards Sirius in surprise. He had to admit, he was impressed that Sirius had known that bit of information since he knew for a fact that he was the only one of them to have read Hogwarts: A History.

“That’s right… that’s why girls can go up to our dormitories but we can’t go to theirs,” said Remus. “The Founders believed girls to be more trustworthy. But how did you know that?”

Sirius grinned. “I may or may not have tried to sneak into the girls’ dormitory to hide a Cornish Pixie in Macdonald’s trunk in fourth year. I found out I couldn’t do it the hard way.” Sirius paused for a moment before continuing. “So I put it in her school bag instead.”

Remus groaned. That explained a lot. Mary had not been happy when that Cornish Pixie was released. It had tried to lift her off the ground by her ears but, luckily for Mary, Lily had been able to immobilize it before she got more than a foot off the ground. Professor Kettleburn had been grateful when Lily later returned it to him.

“That was YOU?” yelled a voice from above.

There was a blur of dirty blonde hair and black robes as Mary slid down the slide and landed in front of them. She gracefully stood up and brushed herself off before sending an angry look to Sirius.

Sirius, who was used to Mary sending him dirty looks, beamed at her. “Ah! Well isn’t it my favorite hotheaded Gryffindor!”

“I only save my hotheadedness for a select few, Black,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “I should have known that you were the one who put the pixie in bag. How did you even get one?”

“First of all, it was a Cornish Pixie, and I nicked it from Care of Magical Creature, of course,” shrugged Sirius, still grinning.

Mary stared at him. “You’re unbelievable.” She turned to look at Remus, James, and Peter, her face softened considerably, and she smiled. “Hello, boys. Did you need something?”

Remus smirked while trying not to laugh. Mary was always a very pleasant person to be around but for as long as he could remember she and Sirius had always bickered. Something about him always set her off but she was perfectly friendly to everyone else.

“James wanted to speak to Lily,” said Peter.

Mary frowned slightly. “Sorry to disappoint. Lily isn’t taking any visitors at the moment,” she paused. “Actually, she just isn’t taking visits from you guys.”

“And Hermione?” asked Remus.

Mary sent him a curious look that made him feel slightly uncomfortable but he didn’t know why. “Neither is Hermione,” she said slowly and Remus felt his hopes diminish.

“Why are you talking to us then?” asked James sounding genuinely curious.

“Because,” said Mary crossing her arms, “I wanted to see which boy had tried to get into the girls’ dormitories. And, to be honest, I’m not angry at you. I think Snape got what was coming to him after what he called Lily and Hermione. But don’t tell them I said that,” she added as an afterthought.

“How long do they plan on being angry?” asked James.

“Oh they aren’t angry anymore,” said Mary with a cheery smile. “They’re just punishing you.”

James gawked at her. “Well that’s immature of them!” he exclaimed.

“More immature than attacking Snape ‘just because’?” countered Mary, raising her eyebrow.

James pursed his lips. “Touché.”

“I thought you said he got what was coming to him!” argued Sirius.

“I said he had it coming because of what he called Lily and Hermione,” said Mary smoothly. “But before that he was just minding his own business like you guys should have been.” Sirius tried to protest but Mary held up her hand, cutting him off. “But after what he said I surely don’t sympathize with him.”

“When do you think Hermione and Lily will stop ignoring us?” asked Remus hoping it would be soon.

“They’re just doing it until they think you’ve learnt your lesson. I doubt it will go on much longer but you never know. They were both pretty upset with what happened,” said Mary with a soft, almost sympathetic, smile to Remus.

“Right…” said James. Remus noticed that he was rubbing his backside again, probably more out of nervousness than from his tumble down the slide.

Mary looked between the four of them. “Well, this has been a fun chat but I think I’ll go back to my friends now. See ya.”

She turned and trotted back up the spiral staircase, which had returned to its usual form, and was out of sight.

James turned on Sirius. “Why didn’t you tell me about the stairs after it happened to you?” he demanded.

“Well, I could have warned you and prevented it from happening to you… But this was funnier,” grinned Sirius.

Remus felt glum as the boys made their way back to the table in the common room and sat down. He wasn’t reassured by what Mary had said. The girls were ignoring them purposely to punish them and it worked. He definitely felt punished.

Even though Mary said Hermione and Lily weren’t angry anymore he didn’t entirely believe her. Maybe Mary had meant that they weren’t as angry as they had been… There was no way they had gotten over it so quickly. They had been so hurt by what happened by the lake. It would definitely take them a while to get over it. Even if they did forgive them it wouldn’t go back to how it had been before the scene at the lake. The look on Lily’s face when she had started back to the castle was devastating.

He also couldn’t get the look Hermione had given him out of his head. She had looked so betrayed and it was entirely his fault. When Snape had called her a mudblood she hadn’t even been phased. Instead, she said she had been used to being called it which had given him and the rest of them quite a shock. Was that another reason she had transferred to Hogwarts?

What had really upset her had been him. She had been more upset by being let down by him than being called that awful awful word. And that was what he was having trouble dealing with.

His headache seemed to be getting worse. He didn’t even realize he had been staring angrily at the table in front of him until Sirius spoke up.

“You’re being awfully mopey today, Moony,” said Sirius, looking across the table at Remus.

Remus looked up, feeling rather bitter. The other three boys were looking at him oddly.

Oh how he hated being pitied.

“Full moon is in two days…” muttered Remus, looking back down at the table and trying to force a neutral expression on to his face. “And I have this blasted headache…”

It was only a half truth. Not the headache part; that was true. Yes, the full moon was in fact in two days, but that wasn’t why he was feeling this way. Well, it might be, who knows. The approaching full moon usually had a negative effect on his temperament. So that, on top of being ignored by two of his friends, just worsened his mood.

Only five days had passed and he already missed Lily and Hermione. He couldn’t stop thinking about the relationships he had with the two of them.

Lily was someone he had gone to for advice and comfort about things he thought the boys might laugh at. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust his three best friends – he trusted them with his life – it was that Lily would never make a joke about something if she thought it was serious. It was also nice to have a female perspective on things. Even though she didn’t know about his lycanthropy, she had always been so kind to him over the years due to his and his mother’s “illnesses” or him being sick that caused him to miss class. Lily was a rock that Remus knew he could rely on.

And even though he had only known Hermione for a little over month there was something in her that Remus was drawn to. That all of them were drawn to. He had noticed it the first night back at Hogwarts when she had locked herself out of the common room. He had admired her for telling off James the first day of classes and Remus even admired that she had stuck up for Severus. She was the type of person that was smart and knew it and wanted to make sure everyone else knew it as well. They had even started studying together. He had thought they were becoming good friends, especially after her birthday, but now he feared that he had messed everything up.

“Blimey, I nearly forgot that was coming up,” said James, interrupting Remus’s thoughts.

“Brilliant,” grinned Sirius from across the table. “We could use the fun.”

“Yes, you would find it fun…” Remus muttered darkly.

Sirius looked taken about and gave an apologetic look.

“Maybe you should go to the Hospital Wing?” suggested Peter with a nervous smile, clearly not wanting to set him off. “Madam Pomfrey could give you a Pepperup potion or something for the headache.”

“Yeah… alright…” said Remus, standing up. “Yeah, I think I should. I’ll see you guys later…”

He didn’t actually want to go to the Hospital Wing but it was a good excuse to be by himself.

He bid his friends goodbye and left the common room for the Hospital Wing with the pain in his head getting worse with every step he took.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

Hermione was sitting cross-legged on her bed when Mary walked back through the wooden door and into their cozy dormitory.

“Well?” asked Lily, who was lounging on her own bed, facing Hermione.

Mary crossed the room and sat on the edge of Hermione’s bed and looked between the two girls.

“James set the stairs off trying to get up here to talk to you, Lils,” said Mary. “He had actually gotten pretty far up before it turned into the slide. It was quite impressive, really.”

Lily gave her a blank stare. “James?” she tried her best to only sound vaguely interested.

“James Potter… You know, the boy in our year that has been hung up on you since he met you on the Hogwarts Express first year? The one you’ve been ignoring for nearly a week now?” said Mary, raising her eyebrow.

“Oh… that James…”

Hermione swore that Lily was trying not to blush.

“We don’t even know any other Jameses!” exclaimed Mary.

Lily grinned. “Not true. I went to school with a boy named James before I came to Hogwarts.”

Mary rolled her eyes.

“That’s beside the point. Anyway, Remus, Peter, and Sirius were with him,” said Mary. Then her expression turned angry. “Did you know it was Sirius that put that Cornish Pixie in my bag in fourth year? That prat!”

Lily snickered. “I had a feeling it was him.”

Mary glared at no one in particular and crossed her arms. “Well, the guys seem pretty bummed about being ignored. Especially James and Remus.”

Lily frowned and shifted slightly on her bed. “I don’t want Remus to be upset… I’m mostly just mad at James.”

Hermione felt a pang in her chest. She didn’t want Remus to be upset either but she was positive that Remus would have been able to control James and Sirius if he had really wanted to. Yet, he didn’t even try. He was just as much at fault as they were, even if she wished he hadn’t been.

“I miss them…” Hermione said before she realized she was speaking out loud.

Staying angry at the boys was much more difficult than Hermione thought it would be. It also didn’t help that they just wouldn’t leave her and Lily alone. She found it incredibly difficult to snub the Marauders when they kept trying to talk to them. Whenever she had been angry at Harry or Ron they knew that they deserved to be ignored and left her alone, but the Marauders, particularly James and Sirius, believed they had been in the right. Plus, she really did miss the company of the boys. Not including Peter of course.

As much as she loved spending time with Lily and Mary, it just wasn’t the same without Remus, James, and Sirius.

“You could always go talk to them,” said Mary with an encouraging smile. She seemed to have gotten over finding out about the pixie pretty quickly. “They miss you as well. And Remus seems to miss you especially…”

Hermione felt herself smile. She had gotten particularly close to Remus over the past few weeks. It just worried her that this whole fiasco might ruin their friendship.

“I want to, I really do, but what they did was awful and they need to know that they can’t go around attacking people for fun. Or, in Remus’s case, just stand by and let it happen,” said Hermione. She crossed her arms but more so to hug herself rather than in annoyance. Perhaps a mix of both.

“I agree with Hermione,” said Lily, nodding. She looked slightly solemn. “That also goes for Peter, for egging him on. James was being an arrogant arse and needed some form of consequence. He can’t act that way for the rest of his life.”

Mary put her hands up in front of her defensively. “You guys can do whatever you’d like, I’ll support your actions but how long do you plan on doing this?”

“At least until the end of the week,” said Hermione and Lily nodded in agreement. “I won’t give them the satisfaction of having them think that their moping has gotten to us.”

There was a pause and the three girls just looked at each other.

Then Lily flung herself backwards so she laid flat on her mattress. She sighed and stared up at the ceiling. “I should talk to Severus,” she said delicately.

A loud, annoyed, groan came from Mary, who put her face in her hands. “Oh not this again…” she muttered.

For days now, Lily had been feeling slightly guilty about how things ended between her and Snape. One moment she’d feel confident that she had done the right thing and then she’d get upset and sulk around in regret. Mary was clearly getting irritated by it.

Lily sat up and looked at Mary, feigning innocence. “What?”

“You don’t need him, Lily!” said Mary, trying not to sound annoyed even though she was clearly exasperated. “We’ve had this conversation already. Multiple times!”

“I know… but what if I made the wrong decision?” said Lily looking at Hermione and Mary desperately.

“I don’t think you did,” said Hermione kindly.

“But what about him? He doesn’t have many friends…” said Lily with a sad frown.

“Don’t worry about him,” said Mary. “It’s not your fault that he doesn’t have many friends. That friendship was toxic and you did the right thing by ending it.”

“I agree with Mary,” said Hermione with a nod and Mary smiled at her.

“But now he’s joined Mulciber and Avery in Potions and I can’t help but worry about him...” said Lily quietly. “He didn’t even deny wanting to join the Death Eaters…”

Lily had struck a cord and had brought up the conversation that they all had been avoiding. During all of the conversations the three of them had had about Snape over the past five days, they had always just focused on how bad of a friend he was. No one wanted to bring up Snape’s lack of a defense when Lily had accused him and his friends of aiming to be Death Eaters.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the dormitory as Hermione looked everywhere but at Mary and Lily. Suddenly the dust buddies dancing around the floor under one of vacant beds in the dormitory became very interesting to Hermione.

Another minute of awkward silence passed before Mary bravely spoke up. “I honestly believe that him hanging around those types of people is even more reason for you not to be friends with him anymore…They’re evil…”

The look on Lily’s face gave Hermione the impression that she was struggling not to cry again. “I don’t want Severus to turn out like them. What if he follows in their footsteps? Maybe if I stay friends with him he’ll decided not to become a follower of You-Know-Who...”

Hermione involuntarily flinched. Even though Lily hadn't said his name, it was the first time someone had mentioned Voldemort since she arrived there and it was jarring. Part of Hermione had trouble processing that even twenty years in the past, Voldemort was still such an immediate threat, just as he was in her time. It was why James had been so suspicious of her when she first arrived. The first wizarding war was already happening and the fear of the name had already begun.

“You believe you can change him?” asked Mary with a hint of pity in her voice.

Lily shook her head. “I’m not sure. Do you honestly believe it could be possible to change him if I really tried?”

“I don’t think so, Lily,” said Hermione sadly.

She knew full well that Snape was going to become a Death Eater and join Voldemort’s ranks regardless if Lily tried to stop him. Yes, he would eventually become a spy for the Order but he did end up becoming a Death Eater first. Dumbledore had told her that she wouldn’t be able to change the past so there was no choice but to let this unfold the way it was supposed to.

Lily turned her green eyes towards Hermione and the pain in them was heartbreakingly evident.

“I think that if he has already made his decision then no matter how hard you try you wouldn’t be able to change it. It seems like it’s a path he’s already chosen…” continued Hermione.

Mary hopped off of the end of Hermione’s bed and walked over to Lily’s and sat down next to her. She put her arm around her as Lily rested her head on Mary’s shoulder.

“You can’t blame yourself for this, Lils. This is all on him and there’s nothing you could have done differently to change that,” comforted Mary. Lily sniffed and nodded her head against Mary’s shoulder. “He is not your responsibility. There are so many people that care about you who are here for you. You don’t need him.”

Lily took her head off of Mary’s shoulder gave a weary smile. “At least I have you guys.”

Mary grinned. “That you do.”

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

During classes the next day, Hermione understood what had Mary meant. She hadn’t noticed from the previous few days but the Marauders really must have missed them. Especially James and Remus.

James looked like kicked puppy. Hermione watched him looking longingly across the room at Lily. When he caught Hermione’s eye, his face lit up and he sent her a hopeful grin. It took everything in her to look away. The next time she turned to look at him, he had his head resting on the palm of his hand and was staring wistfully towards the front of the class.

Remus was another story. He looked absolutely miserable and Hermione couldn’t possibly understand why. It wasn’t as if he was that great of friends with either Lily or herself. Sure, she was getting closer to him but he only knew her for a month. James was sad because he liked Lily; but what was causing Remus to look so sad?

The following day Hermione finally got an answer to her question.

It was unusually quiet when she entered Defense Against the Dark Arts that morning. Sitting in the back corner of the classroom were the Marauders but they weren’t chatty or goofing around like they usually did on Fridays. There was an empty seat at their table and Hermione instantly felt awful.

She had forgotten that today would be the full moon.

Her plan had been to ignore the Marauders entirely for a week before speaking to them again. It had now been exactly a week and she wouldn’t even be able to make up with Remus because he was gone. How could she have been so careless to forget about the full moon?

Now she understood why he had looked so miserable the previous day and she had probably made it worse by ignoring him. She just hoped she hadn’t done enough damage to make his transformation more difficult.

Instead of going to her usual seat in the middle of the classroom with Mary and Lily, Hermione walked over to the table where the Marauders were sitting.

Sirius was the first to see her approaching and he looked visibly shocked. He gave James a nudge and he too glanced up with a mix of happiness and nervousness. Peter was also staring.

“Hello,” said James cautiously as Hermione came to a stop beside him.

“Hello,” said Hermione and she smiled weakly.

There was an awkward pause as the boys exchanged curious glances. Hermione cleared her throat before sitting in the empty chair on the other side of James, who raised his eyebrow in surprise.

“I’m here to take Remus’s notes,” she said confidently.

She held out her hand and waited for one of them to hand over Remus’s notebook.

“I thought you weren’t speaking to us,” said Sirius sarcastically.

“Just because you’re being punished doesn’t mean I want Remus to fall behind,” said Hermione. “Someone still has to take his notes.”

“So you are punishing us,” said James with a hint of humor.

“Of course I’m punishing you lot. It’s not like you don’t deserve it. But I have decided to begin speaking with you again,” she said and Sirius grinned. She extended her arm a little more to emphasize that she still wanted the notebook.

With a grin, James went into his bag and pulled out Remus’s notebook. “It was my turn,” he said as he handed it to her with a smirk.

Hermione could feel the laughter building up inside of her at James’s attempt to reference the previous time Remus was out from class. She tried to keep from smirking and to contain her laughter but, instead, she ended up making a rather unusual snorting noise. Her eyes widened and her hand immediately went up to her face which caused James and Sirius to burst into fits of laughter.

“What was that?” gasped Sirius through his laughter.

She could feel her face growing red as tried to hide behind her hair. It was humiliating yet, there was something hilarious about the whole situation.

“Look at her trying not to smile!” laughed Sirius.

“Don’t blow it, mate. She’s talking to us again, that’s all that matters,” grinned James.

For a moment everything felt almost back to normal; well, as normal as things felt in 1976. But Hermione couldn’t entirely forgive them for their behavior. Not quite yet.

“I’m not going to apologize for ignoring you,” said Hermione. She pushed her bushy hair out of her face and gave them an annoyed smile.

“I honestly didn’t expect you to,” said James as he pulled his notebook out of his bag with a smirk. “So does this mean Evans will be talking to us again?”

He had a hopeful look on his face.

“That’s up to her,” said Hermione. “Don’t think that everything will go immediately back to how it was. We’re still upset with you guys.”

James’s fall fell slightly and he nodded his head. “Right…”

There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment and Hermione took out her own supplies and looked over at the boys. “Is Remus’s mother sick again?” she asked innocently, trying not to sound suspicious.

There was the slightest of hesitations before James spoke. “No, he’s actually sick today.”

“Sick enough where Madam Pomfrey doesn’t want anyone visiting him,” added Sirius quickly.

“Oh that’s terrible… He wasn’t looking too well yesterday,” said Hermione with a small nod.

Across the room, Hermione saw Mary and Lily sitting together. Lily wasn’t looking towards the Marauders but Mary caught Hermione’s eye and grinned, giving her a thumbs up.

At that moment, the short Professor Warbeck walked into the classroom and Mary quickly looked away, hiding her grin.

Class went by quickly and throughout the rest of the day Hermione found herself falling back into rhythm with the Marauders. Yet, it felt odd without Remus.

Without him, the balance between the Marauders seemed off. In a way, Hermione wished he really were sick. That way, she could at least visit him in the Hospital Wing so she could talk to someone that didn’t purposely try to make her lose her appetite.

During dinner, James and Sirius were far fouler than if Remus were around to tell them to stop. There was nothing to do but just sit and endure it.

Sirius had just finished a rather rude joke that started off something like “A banshee, an ogre, and a witch walk into a pub…”

It had had such a grotesque ending that Peter quite literally started to choke on his lamb chops, turning a pinkish purplish color.

“Anapneo!” said Hermione, pointing her wand at Peter and his airway cleared at once.

Peter, who was still pink in the face, was looked at her gratefully as Hermione glared at the grinning Sirius.

“That was foul, Sirius!” said Hermione, appalled. “Now I know what Mary meant when she said she refuses to eat with you because she’d lose her appetite.”

Sirius grinned at her and winked. “You know you missed this, Hermione.”

Hermione pursed her lips playfully. “I feel as though we may have different definitions of ‘missed’, Sirius.”

Sirius’s grin widened.

“That wasn’t even one of his better jokes,” grinned James as he helped himself to a slice of pie.

“There’s more?” sighed Hermione wearily.

“Do you want to hear the one about the one legged woman who had a rather dirty fetish for Quidditch?” asked Sirius with a smirk.

“No!” said Hermione and Peter together. Well Peter, who was still recovering from choking, more so wheezed his response.

“Your loss,” shrugged Sirius who turned towards James.

James and Sirius began chatting as they ate their dessert and Hermione pushed her food away. She had lost her appetite after watching Peter choke.

Peter also looked rather putout and Hermione heard him mutter under his breath something along the lines of “I miss Remus…”

And for the first time in her life, Hermione agreed with Peter Pettigrew.

Chapter Text

Chapter 11 - Back to Normal

Hermione spent almost the entirety of that Saturday and Sunday doing homework. Now that classes had been in session for over a month, the professors were piling on even more assignments than they previously had. Free periods were not nearly as fun as everyone had expected them to be, as they were spent doing all of the assignments they had. It would be something that she and all of the other students in her year would have to get used to now that they were at N.E.W.T level.

By early afternoon on Monday, Remus had still not returned. James, Sirius, and Peter didn't seem too concerned, so Hermione constantly willed herself to stop worrying about him. If they didn't seem worried, it meant Remus's transformation must not have been worse than usual. It's not like she had any control over his transformations and how they affected him anyway.

To pass the time, she had agreed to work with and help James, Sirius, and, to her displeasure, Peter with their homework during their free period. Although Sirius and James didn't seem to be the most dedicated of students, Hermione was quick to pick up on how intelligent they were. It wasn't that they couldn't do their own work, they just couldn't be bothered to do it. Peter, on the other hand, struggled more than the others.

"No, no, no, Peter. You're not waving your wand correctly," said Hermione, trying not to sound annoyed as Peter helplessly pointed his wand at the empty goblet in front of him.

The four of them were sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common room. Hermione and Peter were both sitting cross legged while Sirius was leaning against the side of the couch and James was sprawled on the carpet, lounging on his side. Hermione and Peter were closest to the fireplace. The warmth from the fire felt nice on Hermione's skin with the chilling air that was beginning to sweep through the castle as October progressed.

"I'm doing it just as how Flitwick showed us in class," said Peter through gritted teeth. "It's the sideways S motion."

He gave Hermione an odd look and moved his wand through the air again.

"You're doing the S upside down," said Hermione shaking her head. She pointed her own wand at the goblet. "It's like this. Aguamenti!"

A small stream of water burst from her wand and filled the goblet in front of them.

"Ayyyyy!" grinned James. "Nice aim, Dawson. You didn't even spill a drop!"

Hermione snorted. "Thank you, James."

A small huff came from Peter as he stared down at the goblet in anger. "I've never had this much trouble with a charm before… We've been at this one for a few weeks now…"

"Aw don't worry, Wormtail. You'll get it. You always end up getting it," said Sirius as he flipped his quill into the air and caught it, ignoring his own pile of homework sitting beside him.

"Let me try!" said James. He heaved himself up into a sitting position and scooted closer to where Hermione was sitting.

"We already know you can do it, Prongs," said Sirius, rolling his eyes as he threw the quill into the air again. "You spent the entire last class secretly shooting water across the room at Marcus Donner when Flitwick wasn't looking."

James shrugged and grinned. "Just a little healthy rivalry between Quidditch Captains."

"Fine, James," said Hermione quickly, before the boys started talking about Quidditch. If they started, they'd never stop. "If you really want to practice then so be it. I'll empty the goblet."

She leaned forward to grab the goblet but, before she could, James snatched it up and downed the contents of the goblet into his mouth.

"James!" gasped Hermione.

"Oh, calm down, Hermione. I was thirsty," said James, wiping his mouth and grinning while Sirius and Peter laughed. Hermione continued to stare at him with wide eyes. "Oh, come on! If anyone can produce safe drinking water it's you," added James when he noticed Hermione's pursed lips.

The compliment had a good impact on her mood and Hermione's expression immediately softened. Of course her water would be safe to drink. She had done the spell perfectly, after all.

"Fine," said Hermione with a small smile. "Just do the spell, James."

James positioned the goblet in front of himself and pointed his wand at it. He cleared his throat for effect and said "Aguamenti!"

Water shot out of his wand, not nearly as neatly as Hermione's had, and filled the goblet, spilling some over the sides.

A snort came from Sirius and James turned and rose his eyebrow at him. "Have something to say, Padfoot?"

"You'd just think a Quidditch chaser would have better aim," grinned Sirius.

The grin quickly fell as James threw the nearest couch cushion at him and it hit him in the face. "Really?" grinned James as Sirius toppled sideways. "My aim seems to be just fine."

Hermione rolled her eyes at the pair of them. While Sirius was groaning, she waved her wand and the water in the goblet disappeared. She picked it up and moved it back in front of Peter.

"Alright, Peter. Try again," she said.

It took a few more attempted but Peter finally managed to get a small stream of water to go into the goblet and slowly filled it to the brim.

"I did it!" said Peter. He beamed around at his friends as Sirius and James cheered and Hermione politely smiled.

Over the past few weeks Hermione had gotten better at pretending to like Peter. When she was able to return to her own time she should consider becoming an actress with all the acting experience she'd have.

The sound of the portrait opening and closing caused the four of them to stop their miniature celebration and turn towards the entrance to the common room.

Standing there staring at them, was a sickly-looking Remus. Dark bags were under his eyes and he seemed much paler than usual. He had a cut above his right eyebrow and there was a cloth bandage badly hidden beneath his robes on his left shoulder. A look of confusion and shock was on his face as he looked between his friends before his gaze fell on Hermione.

There was one second of absolute silence as the boys had clearly not expected Remus to be back. They stared at him with equal looks of surprise before Peter broke the silence.

"Remus!" said Peter. He jumped up ended up kicking the full goblet of water, knocking it into Hermione and dousing her with water.

She let out a small yelp and leapt to her feet, trying to wipe the water from her robes. "Really, Peter?" she moaned as water dripped off of her and onto the carpet.

"What are you doing back, Remus?" asked James, ignoring a soaked Hermione while Peter flooded her with apologies. James had a concerned look on his face as he got to his feet and crossed the common room to Remus. "I thought you were supposed to stay another night."

"Hang on," said Hermione, looking between Sirius and James while continuing to dry herself. "How did you guys know when Remus would supposedly be coming back? You said he wasn't allowed any visitors!"

There had been times when the other three boys had disappeared over the past few days and Hermione was sure that they were visiting Remus in the Hospital Wing. But it would seem suspicious if she didn't sound suspicious. She had to play her role, after all.

Sirius rolled his eyes and grinned. "Since when are we ones to follow the rules?"

Hermione pursed her lips again.

James walked Remus to the couch, where Sirius was now sitting, and they sat down. Hermione quickly cleared up the water and walked over to the armchair beside the couch and sat down facing Remus.

"So why are you back today?" asked James.

"Madam Pomfrey didn't want to let me leave but I told her I can't afford to miss any more classes," said Remus without looking at James

"She just let you go? Just like that?" asked Sirius.

"She couldn't make me stay. There's nothing actually wrong with me anymore," said Remus.

He was still staring at Hermione and the guilt she felt from ignoring him during his transformation hit Hermione hard as she looked at Remus's defeated expression.

"Remus, how are you?" asked Hermione. She knew it was a stupid question, he looked miserable, but she couldn't think of another way to start talking to him. It had been nearly a week and a half since they had spoken.

He continued to stare at her for a second before speaking. Hermione guessed that he was trying to figure out what to say without giving anything away.

"I feel a little weak… but there's still another class today after this free period and I need to go to it," he said softly.

"I have your notes!" said Hermione, suddenly remembering the stack of notebooks on her bedside table in her dormitory. "I'll be right back."

She stood up and quickly rushed to the stairs that lead to the girls' dormitory. Neither Mary nor Lily was there so Hermione quickly crossed the room to her bed without distraction. Remus's notes were stacked neatly on her bedside table and she grabbed them.

She was grateful for the moment alone. Remus's return hadn't been expected and it startled her. She hadn't even had time to plan out what she would say to him. There was so much she wanted to say but he looked so awful and she couldn't help but put part of that blame on herself. What if he blamed her as well?

Shaking her head slightly, Hermione took a deep breath and made her way back to the common room.

"If you don't feel up for taking notes during our next class I'd be happy to continue taking them," she said as she handed Remus the notebooks.

"No, it's alright, Hermione," said Remus softly. "I think I can handle it, but thank you."

The boys had a light conversation for the rest of the free period as Hermione silently read from her Arithmancy textbook. Every now and then she'd catch Remus looking at her curiously, but he'd look away before she could even send him a smile.

Their next class went by slowly. People were used to Remus missing classes so nobody seemed to question his absence from the previous classes that day nor his absences from classes on Friday. Yet, Hermione found herself constantly turning to watch him as she sat with Mary and Lily.

Her chest ached. Remus had seemed off when he came back to the common room and she knew it had to be because of her. She had finally begun to feel like she might have belonged there and that had so much to do with her friendship with Remus and she didn't know what she would do if he decided to write her off. That was surely to make the others ignore her as well and that would make her time there unbearable.

When class ended, Mary, Lily, and Hermione were one of the first people out of the classroom. Lily claimed to be starving so they started to make their way to the Great Hall to get there right as dinner started.

They had barely made it into the Grand Staircase when they heard someone call for them.

"Hermione!" said the voice. Hermione turned and saw Remus standing awkwardly in front of James, Sirius, and Peter. "Could I, um, could I have a word, please?"

"Of course, Remus," said Hermione. She quickly scanned his expression. He didn't seem angry at her… that was a good sign. She turned towards Mary and Lily. "You guys go on to dinner, I'll meet you there."

"You sure?" asked Mary.

"Yeah, I don't want to keep you and Lily from eating. I'll be down soon," said Hermione.

Lily gave Hermione a grateful smile and she and Mary continued walking in the direction of the Great Hall. Remus was saying something to the other boys and whatever it was it caused them to walk away as well as Remus approached Hermione.

"Here, follow me, we shouldn't talk on the stairs," said Remus.

He took Hermione by the sleeve of her robes and brought her through a door and into a deserted corridor before he turned to face her.

"Hermione, I am so sorry about the lake. I know I should have done something. I wasn't thinking properly and there's no excuse for my actions nor the actions of James, Sirius, and Peter. We were all acting like gits and you had every right to be angry," said Remus. He took a deep breath before continuing, "I just don't want it to permanently taint how you see us. I know we've only known each other for less than two months but you've become a really good friend to everyone and a great friend to me."

A warmth spread through Hermione's chest and, before she knew what she was doing, she took a step forward and threw her arms around Remus, carefully trying to avoid his injured shoulder.

"Oh Remus, I am so sorry I couldn't talk to you the past few days!" said Hermione, trying to hold back tears.

"I-" started Remus, "What?"

It took him a second realize Hermione was hugging him before he returned her embrace. Hermione was greeted with the aroma of chocolate as he hugged her back and she smiled to herself as she thought about all the times Remus would try to force Harry to eat chocolate.

The hug only lasted a moment before Hermione pulled away and looked up at Remus's face which was broken into his crooked smile.

"I mean, I'm not sorry for ignoring you in the first place… You really should have at least tried to stop James. You are a prefect after all! But, I didn't expect you to fall ill! I only meant to ignore all of you for a week so you could reflect on your wrongdoings and I've just felt so awful that you became sick and we couldn't make up! I do want us to continue being friends."

Remus had a slightly amused look on his face. "Hermione, you have nothing to be sorry about. I honestly don't expect you to be sorry about your reaction to the fight at the lake."

"Good, because I'm not," mumbled Hermione under her breath, causing Remus to grin more.

"I have a lot of respect for you, Lily, and Mary standing up for what is right. You have every right to be angry. It also isn't your fault that I've been gone, it was just awful timing," said Remus. "However, I am grateful that you still took my notes. No one takes better notes than you."

At that, Hermione grinned.

"Of course I took your notes. As you said, you can't afford to fall behind," said Hermione and Remus's grin widened.

Remus looked down at his watch. "We should go down to the Great Hall before dinner ends. Can we talk again later in private to catch up?"

"I'd like that," said Hermione with a smile.

A feeling of relief washed over her as Remus smiled down at her. She had been so worried that they would stop being friends but if anything they seemed even closer.

"Great," said Remus. "Come on, let's go to dinner."

~o~

Hermione didn't end up joining Lily and Mary at dinner like she had planned to but she was sure they'd understand. After all, she wanted to spend time with the boys for the first time in over a week. And it wasn't like she wouldn't see the girls later in their dormitory.

Remus didn't look nearly as pale at dinner, the food must have had a good effect on him. It was such a relief to have his calming presence back. He was able to keep James and Sirius in line during dinner and Peter did not even choke once. Things were basically back to normal.

"So," said James as he took a mouthful of soup. "Now that we're all back together, we have something we wanted to ask you, Hermione."

Hermione raised her eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"Yup," said Sirius from beside James as he shoveled food into his mouth.

"I thought we had finished with all of the questions…" said Hermione, watching Sirius in disgust.

"There was something we've been wondering since what went down at the lake," said James.

"I don't think this is the right place for that conversation, James…" said Remus softly from beside Hermione, causing her to raise her eyebrow.

James paid no attention to Remus. Hermione stared at James trying to think what he could possibly be thinking of asking her. When she didn't respond, James continued.

"So, at the lake during the… uh, what should I call it… the misunderstanding… something was said that we found to be concerning," said James, dramatically waving his fork around as he spoke.

That was when Hermione knew what James was going to say.

"Snape called you and Evans that word – you know which word I'm talking about. It didn't seem to bother you at all…" said James.

"And? That's not a question." Said Hermione, hoping her sarcasm and light tone would make them less interested.

"You said you were used to it," said Peter as he helped himself to pudding.

Hermione sighed. "Yes, I am used to it. It doesn't really matter. It's just a word."

"It's more than a word, Hermione," said Sirius, who wore a serious expression for the first time that night. "It's the meaning behind it. It's the bigotry mindset that gives it its power."

His words touched her, and Hermione thought back to all the stories she had heard about Sirius wanting to escape from the hatred of his ancestors. How he had gone out of his way to distance himself from that way of life. Hermione felt a deeper wave of respect for him in that moment.

"Yes, but if I react negatively to it then I give that word even more power to affect me," said Hermione.

There was a short moment of silence as the boys considered this.

"It's still not right to say it and Snape is going to pay for calling you and Evans one," said Sirius darkly. His grey eyes seemed blacker than usual. It was almost frightening.

"Don't do anything foolish, Sirius," warned Hermione.

His face softened, causing Hermione to relax, and he rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah… whatever you say, Dawson."

"But who was it," said James, after a moment.

"Excuse me?" ask Hermione. "Who was it who did what?"

"Who was it that made you used to that word?" asked James, his expression was unreadable. "You must have been called it many times for it not to affect you anymore."

Hermione bit her lip, she didn't like where this conversation was headed.

"A boy in my year used to call me one. Before I came here, he referred to me as one all the time ever since my second year," said Hermione slowly.

She noticed Remus's knuckles grow whiter has his grip tightened on his fork as he stared intently at his plate.

"What's his name," asked Sirius angrily. "I'll send him a howler he'll never forget!"

"And I'll send him a letter that will explode in his face regardless of whether or not he decides to open it!" said James, mirroring the same look of anger as Sirius.

"That's really not necessary," said Hermione quickly. "You'll get yourselves in trouble."

"Trouble is my middle name," said Sirius.

"I thought your middle name was Orion," said Peter.

"Very funny, Wormtail…"

"Honestly, he isn't worth your time," quickly said Hermione.

Her mind was racing, trying to come up with a way to change the subject away from her timeline. It didn't take long to settle on the perfect conversation topic. It would take some sacrifice on her part, but she'd rather endure it than wiggle herself out of a conversation about Draco Malfoy, who hadn't even been born yet.

"And you can't afford a detention anytime soon, James. You have Quidditch practice nearly every night that you can't miss," she said.

James's face seemed to relax with this information. "True, but he deserves it."

"And I'm sure you will get him one day, but for now you need to focus on winning the Quidditch Cup for Gryffindor," said Hermione. "When is your first Quidditch match, again?"

"It's soon actually. The first weekend in November," said James, whose expression had gone back to normal.

Her idea for changing the subject to Quidditch worked a little too well. Luckily, she only had to endure Quidditch talk for a little while until the subject had been changed again. Dinner conversation had gone back to as normal as they ever were with them.

That was until an owl flew into the Great Hall and landed in Peter's pudding with a crash.

Sirius laughed as Peter looked down at his pudding splattered robes in shock.

"Who sends owls at this hour?" wondered Remus to no one in particular.

"I wasn't even finished with that…" grumbled Peter as he took the letter from the owl and flipped it over. His eyebrow went up as he read the name written on it and handed the letter to Hermione. "It's for you…"

Curiosity overcame Hermione as she took the letter. Who would possibly be writing her?

She must not have been the only one thinking this because James was staring at her oddly.

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you get a letter before, Hermione," he said.

"Come to think of it, neither have I," said Sirius.

Remus and Peter also mumbled their agreements.

"Don't be daft, of course I've gotten letters before," said Hermione, trying her hardest to not have her lie known. "Just because you haven't noticed me getting letters doesn't mean I haven't gotten them."

"No really. I've never seen an owl deliver you anything," said James earnestly.

"Then you should pay more attention," said Hermione.

Maybe she should send herself fake letters to avoid suspicion… but that was a problem for another day.

The four boys watched her as she flipped the letter over and opened the envelope, pulling out a short piece of parchment from inside and reading it.

Dear Miss Dawson,

I hope this letter finds you in the best of health. It has been a while since we chatted. Please visit my office after dinner this evening.

Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore.

After quickly reading it over again, Hermione put the letter in her bag. She looked up at the staff table and noticed that the headmaster's seat was empty.

"It was from Dumbledore," she said with a small frown as she looked back at the boys, who were still watching her. "I'm having a meeting with him after dinner. He likes to check up on me to see how I'm adjusting."

"I sometimes forget that you've transferred here this year," said James. "I feel as though you've always been here. It's like I've known you a lot longer than I have. You just seem to… belong."

"I couldn't agree more," said Remus, giving Hermione a warm smile, and Hermione smiled back. As she looked at Remus, the others, and then at Lily and Mary down the table, she couldn't help but feel like maybe a part of her did belong.

~o~

Professor Dumbledore's office doors stood ajar as Hermione finished climbing the stairs behind the gargoyle. She peaked her head into the office and saw him sitting behind his large wooden desk.

"Ah, come in, Miss Granger," smiled Dumbledore when he spotted her. "Sit down."

The use of her real last name seemed odd to her. It had been over a month since someone had addressed her using her real name and her shock over its usage made her feel strange. She had become too accustomed to being Hermione Dawson and she felt a surge of guilt wash over herself.

Hermione crossed the office and sat down in a chair across from Dumbledore. It was still early in the evening but many of the portraits behind Dumbledore were dozing in slumber; or at least pretending to so they could listen in on their conversation.

"Good evening, sir," said Hermione.

"Good evening, Hermione," said Dumbledore with a smile. "You had a strange expression on your face when I used your surname as you entered."

It wasn't a question and Hermione shifted uncomfortably in her chair. Nothing seemed to get past Dumbledore. "It's just been a while since I've had someone use my last name, sir. It caught me slightly off guard."

"Yes, it has been a while, which is why I sent for you. I wished to see how you were doing. It has been over a month since you appeared at my office door in the middle of the night and we have not spoken since," said Dumbledore with a faint smile.

"I believe that I'm adjusting well, sir. It's been easier ever since you gave me the advice to befriend students here. My friends no longer seem suspicious of me which is a good sign."

Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled behind his half-moon spectacles. "I am glad to hear that. The professors here are also incredibly pleased with your work ethic and progress in their classes. You seem to thrive here."

Hermione felt her face going red. "I'm doing the same as I had in my own time as well, sir."

"Be that as it may, the professors are very fond of having you in class," said Dumbledore.

As nice as it was to hear that the professors liked having her in class, Hermione hoped that Dumbledore hadn't just called her to his office for small talk.

"Sir, is there another reason you called me here tonight? Did you figure out a way to send me back to 1996?" asked Hermione hopefully, moving to the edge of her chair.

The smile left Dumbledore's face and he frowned.

"Sadly, there has been no progress in that matter," said Dumbledore.

Sighing, Hermione leaned back in her chair in disappointment.

"I hope you will excuse my lack of findings," said Dumbledore, who began fiddling with one of the silver instruments on his desk. "I'm sure you are aware of the war in this current time, with you being from the future. I am doing my best to help you return home but my main focus at this time is securing the safety of the wizarding world."

Hermione's face immediately grew warm with shame at the reminder. "Of course, sir. I completely understand and would never want you to take time away from the war effort."

He looked back at her, but something had changed in his eyes; the twinkle was gone and they seemed colder. "You know the outcome of this war," he said slowly.

Again, it was not a question. Hermione could feel her stomach dropping and she was unaware of how she was supposed to respond.

"Yes, sir?" she answered hesitantly, feeling uncomfortable again.

His face turned back to his usual calm composure and he gave her a soft smile. "I think that should be all for tonight, Hermione," said Dumbledore is a very dismissive tone.

"What-? Yes, of course, sir," said Hermione, standing up, completely baffled.

As she stood up and turned to leave the office Dumbledore cleared his throat and she turned around to face him again.

"I almost forgot," he said with a smile. He reached into his desk and pulled out a small pouch and tossed it to her. "Your monthly spending money. I believe there is a Hogsmeade trip in the near future."

"Thank you, sir," said Hermione. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Miss Granger."

Hermione turned back around and quickly walked out of his office.

~o~

Dumbledore's change of manner still bothered Hermione as she entered the Gryffindor common room. There had been something that flickered in his eyes that seemed… off.

Hermione shook her head. The look must have been a figment of her imagination.

She had barely made it halfway across the common room when Remus entered from the staircase. When he spotted her his face broke into a grin.

"Hermione," he said as he walked further into the common room. "I'm glad you're back. How was your talk with Dumbledore?"

She caught sight of him quickly tucking a piece of parchment into his robes which she suspected had been the Marauder's Map. She suppressed a grin. It was almost as if he had been waiting for her.

"It was a little strange," she said honestly, "but it's nice to know that he's doing his best to make me feel comfortable here."

Remus nodded. "He can be a little strange, but his intentions are pure. Did you still want to catch up?"

"Of course," smiled Hermione. She started to walk towards a set of empty armchairs but Remus held her back.

"Actually, I thought maybe we could go somewhere else so we won't be overheard."

"Overheard?" asked Hermione. She looked around the common room. There was only a few groups of people sitting around. None of them seemed like they'd want to eavesdrop on a conversation between her and Remus and she couldn't think of a reason for them to want to. Then she noticed Remus cock his head slightly in the direction of the boys' dormitory and she understood. "Oh, alright, yes. Lead the way."

Hermione followed Remus out of the portrait hole. The corridor was quiet and dark. It felt odd being out so close to curfew. Almost as if she were on prefect rounds with Ron like last year. Her heartbeat sped up slightly at the possibility of breaking the rules. It was like the adrenaline rushes that she had learned to love after going on so many adventures with Harry and Ron. It made her feel alive.

They stopped in front of the closest empty classroom that they came across and Remus opened the door and beckoned Hermione to follow him.

It was dark in the classroom, none of the torches were lit and the only light was coming from the moon, which was now slightly less full. It was visible through the large windows that lined ones of the stone walls and reflected the patterned glass onto the floor.

Hermione recognized the room as one of the unused classrooms she and Harry had used in their fourth year to prepare him for the Triwizard Tournament and the bittersweet memory brought a smile to her face.

Remus peered back into the corridor and looked both ways before shutting the door. He walked past Hermione to one of the desks and sat on top of it before turning to face her in the doorway.

"You're acting as though we're about to commit a heinous crime," observed Hermione as she walked further into the dark room.

"Well, we are breaking school rules," said Remus. "Or we will be once curfew starts in about—" he looked down at his watch, "—ten minutes."

"Why didn't you want people to overhear us?" asked Hermione. "When you said private earlier I didn't think you meant literally in private. I thought it meant just the two of us."

She moved around the room, waving her wand. The torches around the room burst into life, flooding warm amber light to the room. It caused shadows to cover half of Remus's face and illuminate some of his scars on the other half. Hermione pretended not to notice.

"Because, if we were to talk alone in the common room then we risk the possibility of being interrupted. This way, no one can find us," said Remus.

She noticed him subconsciously touch his robes where she was sure he had tucked away the Marauder's Map and she smirked.

"You know, that sounds slightly like something a serial killer would say," said Hermione airily. She crossed the room and sat on top of a desk in front of Remus and looked at him while sliding her schoolbag off of her shoulder. "The whole "no one can find us' bit."

"Or something forbidden lovers would say," said Remus casually with a shrug. "But neither of those things are true."

"Lovers?" said Hermione, raising her eyebrow at him. Something about the statement embarrassed her and she willed herself not to blush. Her mind started to trail back to Ron, but she shook the thought from her head. Ron seemed like a million years ago.

Remus laughed at her expression. "Like Romeo and Juliet."

"You've read Romeo and Juliet?" asked Hermione, trying not to show her surprise.

Most wizards went out of their way to avoid all things muggle so it was nice to hear that someone raised in a wizarding household would choose to read things from the muggle world.

"My mother is a muggle so she's quite fond of muggle literature," he said with a small shrug. "Especially ones written about magic, like Macbeth. She persuaded me to read a lot of those types of stories."

Hermione couldn't help but feel impressed with this information. It was interesting seeing this side of Remus Lupin. In her time, she never would have expected how much she had in common with her third year Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.

"You're a very extraordinary wizard, I hope you realize that, Remus," said Hermione fondly. "Not many wizards would read muggle literature, much less admit to it."

He chuckled faintly and shook his head. "Thank you, Hermione, but there's really nothing extraordinary about me."

"Oh, don't be modest," said Hermione, rolling her eyes. "You're kind, funny, incredibly smart, a leader, and I'm glad that you wanted to be my friend."

It might have been the amber hue of the torchlight, but something seemed to change in his expression at her words. Not in the troubling way Professor Dumbledore's expression had changed earlier that day, but in a way where his face seemed somewhat younger, warmer, and slightly more hopeful.

"I'm glad we're friends as well," said Remus with the corner of his mouth turning up into a smile.

"But going back to the fact that you wanted to talk outside of the common room," said Hermione with a faint smile of her own, "why is it you didn't want to be overheard? What is it that you wanted to discuss that you didn't want James, Sirius, or Peter to hear?"

Remus shrugged gently. "Nothing in particular. I guess it was because I hadn't spoken to just you in a while and wanted the opportunity to talk to you without the others interrupting. They can be… ah, what's a good word… distracting."

Hermione laughed. Distracting was a perfect way to describe the other three boys, especially James and Sirius.

"Well, I can start by telling you about the lessons you missed while you were away," said Hermione brightly. She pulled her bag closer and opened it. "I have all my notes here and we can go over them."

"Sounds like a plan," grinned Remus.

The two of them spent the rest of their time going over the notes Hermione had taken for the two days of classes Remus had missed. It wasn't truly difficult information and Remus picked it up fairly quickly.

They hadn't realized much time had passed until they heard the sound of a door closing and echoing down the corridor. The sound was loud and caused both Remus and Hermione's heads to snap towards the door.

"It could be a prefect on rounds," said Remus in a quiet voice. "If they check in here I'm sure they wouldn't penalize a fellow prefect. Well, maybe not a Slytherin prefect... depends which one we get."

Hermione looked out the window and noticed how truly dark the sky had become since they arrived.

"Remus, what time is it?"

Remus rolled up his sleeve and looked down at his watch and both of his eyebrows rose. "Blimey, it's nearly midnight. I hadn't realized how long we've been here."

"We should go back to the common room," said Hermione. "We need to get some sleep before class tomorrow."

Remus simply nodded.

Together, they packed up Hermione's notes, which were now scattered across several desks, and they put out the torches around the classroom.

Similarly to how they entered the classroom, Remus peeked his head out into the corridor to see if anyone was approaching before beckoning Hermione to follow him.

Their journey back to Gryffindor Tower was a silent one but Hermione could not help but feel that it was nothing after their week and a half of silence. If anything, that silence had proven that they still could be friends and Hermione was sure that her friendships with Remus and the others was growing stronger because of it.

Chapter Text

Chapter 12 - Hogsmeade Adventures and Halloween Scares

A chill had spread through the castle as November neared and Hogwarts residents could barely remember the strange heatwave that October had started with. The grounds was covered with leaves as the trees started to bare and the grass was slightly less green and had a certain crunch to it. Yet, no one seemed particularly effected by this sudden change in temperature due to the excitement of the first Hogsmeade trip of the year, which would be taking place that Halloween weekend.

Light chatter roused Hermione from her slumber the morning of Halloween. Groggily, she slightly pulled open the scarlet curtains surrounding her bed and peered into sunlit dormitory. The chatter came from Lily’s bed and Hermione spotted both Lily and Mary sitting on it and quietly but energetically talking. Usually Mary was the last of the three Gryffindor girls to wake so seeing her up before her intrigued Hermione. What was even more interesting was that both Mary and Lily were already fully dressed and looked like they were ready for the trip into the village.

Swinging her feet over the side of her bed, Hermione pulled her curtains all the way open and stepped down on the wooden floor when Mary looked across the dormitory towards Hermione.

“Sorry, did we wake you?” asked Mary with an apologetic smile.

Hermione yawned and waved her hand dismissing Mary’s concern. “It’s fine, I should be getting up regardless. What time is it anyway? 

“Nearly 8 o’clock,” said Lily with a smile. 

Before Hermione could thank her, Mary jumped off of Lily’s bed and bounced towards Hermione, taking hold of her shoulders. 

“Are you ready for Hogsmeade?!” she said, beaming at Hermione and shaking her shoulders slightly. “And it’s also Halloween so we have the feast tonight!” 

Amused, Hermione moved Mary’s hands off of her shoulders and back to Mary’s side as Mary continued to bounce up and down on the heels of her feet. Her excitement was infectious and Hermione couldn’t help but feel excited for the trip into Hogsmeade as well.

“Yes, Mary,” laughed Hermione. “I’m very excited about Hogsmeade. Maybe not as much as you… but still very excited.”

“I just really like Halloween and these weekend trips,” defended Mary, crossing her arms, but she was still grinning from ear to ear.

Mary’s excitement was one of the things that made her standout to Hermione. There were moments when Mary became very enthusiastic about something and her emotions seemed to magnetize by a hundred. When she was excited, her delight pooled out of her and flooded the entire room, yet, that also held true when Mary was upset. It would not be wise to cross Mary if she were not in a good mood.

Lily stood up from her and walked over next to Mary, she looked as amused as Hermione felt at Mary’s display of joy. “Still plan on meeting up with us around lunchtime?” she asked Hermione.

Not long after the Hogsmeade trip had been posted on the Gryffindor notice board, James had wasted no time in corning her and asking her to accompany him, Sirius, Remus, and Peter to Hogsmeade. She had agreed happily but later slightly regretted it when Lily and Mary asked her to attend the trip with them and the group of girls from Hufflepuff that Mary was good friends with. Lily and Mary’s discouraged faces had made her feel guilty that night after she told them that James had already asked her, but she had agreed to go with the boys and she had to admit that she was looking forward to going with them. So she had worked it out with everyone that she would spend half the day with the boys and meet up with Lily and Mary for the remainder of the time.

The guilt she felt was odd. There had never been a time in her life where she had to choose between people to hang out with. It had always been her, Harry, and Ron. They were an unbreakable trio. It had never even crossed her mind in her time to have more than one group of friends. Now she had two groups of people wanting to spend time with her.

It was exhausting.

“Of course, I’ll probably be tired of the boys by then anyways,” smiled Hermione, which would probably be true knowing the kinds of shops they’d want to go to, but she was slightly nervous about spending time with all of the Hufflepuff girls.

“Okay great. We’re headed to breakfast, so you can get ready now. See you later!” said Mary and Lily and the two of them exited the dormitory.

Once she was alone, Hermione began to silently dress. It didn’t take her long to realize that she never bought any clothes for the colder weather and she would definitely need at least a scarf on her trip into the village.

She wished she had realized it earlier so she could have borrowed something from either Lily or Mary. Upset with herself, Hermione quickly finished dressing in the warmest clothes she could manage and grabbed her bag before leaving the dormitory herself.

Once she stepped foot into the common room, a thought popped into her head that Remus would probably have an extra scarf that he would lend her. She was supposed to meet the boys at breakfast but it was still early so there was a good chance that they were probably getting ready. There would be no harm in her going to their dormitory and asking Remus for a scarf instead of asking at the Great Hall and having to come back up to Gryffindor Tower.

So instead of meeting the boys in the Great Hall for breakfast like they had planned, Hermione walked towards the boys’ staircase. She was slightly nervous, she had never been to their dormitory before and she hoped that she wasn’t overstepping any boundaries.

It didn’t take her long to spot the door with the four boys’ names on it. She hesitated slightly before knocking three times. There was the sound of shuffling on the other side of the door and a few moments later it swung open.

“Hermione?”

Standing before her was a surprised and disheveled James Potter. By the looks of him, it appeared that he had just woken up. He was wearing a set of scarlet plaid pajama bottoms with a plain grey t-shirt and his black hair was messier than Hermione had ever seen it. His large rectangular glasses were crooked on his face, like he had just shoved them on in a hurry.

Slightly embarrassed at finding him in pajamas, Hermione willed herself not to turn pink as she stared at James’s startled face. She had seen Harry and Ron loads of times in pajamas but, even with James resembling Harry so much, it was strange to walk in on him being so vulnerable.

“Er, hi James,” said Hermione after a moment of the two of them just staring at each other. “I just came up here to ask Remus if I could borrow a scarf… it seems I have forgotten to pack mine with me and it’s going to be a chilly trip to Hogsmeade today.”

James blinked before taking a step back from the door. “Well, you don’t have to just stand in the staircase. Come on in, I’ll grab you a scarf.”

With a small smile, Hermione stepped past him and into the dormitory, the other three boys were nowhere to be seen. The room looked exactly the same as all the other dormitories but it was much messier than Harry, Ron, Neville, Seamus, and Dean’s had been and far more decorated. Clothes and a random assortment of items littered the floor and scarlet and gold posters and banners plastered the walls. The room gave off more Gryffindor pride than Hermione had ever seen.

“Sorry about the mess,” said James, causing Hermione to stop examining the dormitory and look back at James. “We don’t get many visitors in here.”

Hermione smirked. “Don’t worry I’ve seen worse. Where are the others?”

James pursed his lips. “Probably at breakfast. The bloody gits left me here! Would you believe the three of them didn’t wake me up when they went down to the Great Hall? If your knock on the door hadn’t woken me I’d still be asleep…”

James crossed his arms and he angrily looked at nothing in particular. His messy appearance and betrayed look made him a sight to see. Hermione was sure the other boys wouldn’t have left him there for the trip but she was far too amused at the way James was behaving to tell him that.

“I actually can believe that,” said Hermione trying to suppress a grin at his disheveled appearance. That was when she noticed that not only did James look like he had woken up, his arms and face were also covered in dirt. “Did they also throw dirt on you? You look absolutely filthy…”

The angry look diminished and James looked down at his arms with a look of confusion before he smirked slightly. “Oh that. I had Quidditch practice at the crack of dawn today. I got back about an hour ago, threw on my pajamas, and just passed out on my bed hoping to rest before we went into the village… I didn’t even bother to shower,” as James said this, he lifted the collar of his T-shirt and bent his neck to smell it and then pulled away quickly with a sour face. Hermione didn’t know whether or not to find it funny or repulsive. “Speaking of which, I desperately need to shower but damned will I show up to the Great Hall alone like an idiot. Would you mind waiting for me?”

“Here?” asked Hermione, looking around the dormitory and feeling slightly uncomfortable at the idea of waiting there alone.

“Or I could meet you downstairs, which ever you prefer,” said James with an expression that could almost be read as pleading. “I’ll be quick I swear. My trunk is over there under my bed, you can grab whatever scarf you’d like from it, I know that there’s at least two in there.”

Before Hermione could even answer James had run out of the room.

With a sigh, Hermione turned her attention back to examining the dormitory. Asides from all of the Gryffindor items on the walls, the areas around each bed seemed to be personalized. Posters of motorcycles and muggle girls in bikinis were on the walls behind the bed closest to the window. Hermione assumed they were muggles based on the fact that the women were stationary in the picture. This contrasted with the pictures that did move next them, pictures of the four Gryffindor boys. Even without the trunk with his initials on it, Hermione still would have been able to tell that this was Sirius’s bed.

Each bed was easily distinguishable by the personal items surrounding it. Hermione noticed that Peter had a chocolate frog card collection that would even put Ron’s to shame, and that James must have been a bigger Quidditch fan that both Harry and Ron combined based on his posters and flags behind his bed. His bed was still unmade with traces of dirt on it which made Hermione shake her head at how ridiculous the boys were. Remus had the most books piled next to his bed and what appeared to be chocolate bar wrappings littering his nightstand. But the thing that stood out the most was the calendar that was hanging on the wall besides Remus’s bed, one that marked the cycle of the moon.

As Hermione was about to look away she noticed his trunk slightly sticking out from under his bed. She leaned over to get a closer look at the trunk with the boy’s name on it when a memory flooded into her head:

"Who d'you reckon he is?" Ron hissed as they sat down and slid the door shut, taking the seats farthest away from the window.

"Professor R. J. Lupin." whispered Hermione at once.

"How'd you know that?"

"It's on his case," she replied, pointing at the luggage rack over the man's head, where there was a small, battered case held together with a large quantity of neatly knotted string. The name Professor R. J. Lupin was stamped across one corner in peeling letters.

The memory of her, Harry, and Ron sitting on the train with a shabby looking stranger seemed so far off and felt like it happened a lifetime ago, not just three years. Well, in her current reality it hadn’t even happened yet.

Before she gave herself a headache, she stood all the way up and turned away from the trunk before she did something stupid and cry at the distant memory of her old life. Instead, she crossed the room and headed back towards James’s area to get a scarf from his trunk.

She was quick to notice that James’s trunk was just as messy as his bed area. Not feeling completely comfortable digging through James’s belongings, Hermione thought it would be best to just summon a scarf.

“Accio scarf” she said as she pointed her wand at James’s open trunk.

Two hand knit maroon scarves came flying from the trunk, knocking all sorts of clothes and objects out of their way as they landed in Hermione’s outstretched hand. That was when she noticed something else that had fallen out of the trunk. To anyone else it would have just appeared to be a piece of spare parchment but Hermione knew better.

Her breath caught as she gently picked up the Marauder’s Map as if it were an explosive device and slowly sat down on the edge of James’s bed. Unlike the other reminders of her time that she’d come across, it wasn’t the memories of the map that made her uneasy; it was something that she had completely overlooked when she arrived there.

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,” she shakily whispered into the parchment on her lap.

As the ink spread across the map, Hermione’s heart hammered in her chest. How could she have been so foolish to forget about the map? It was a dead giveaway that she had been lying since she arrived and she highly doubted that the marauders hadn’t used the map in the two months she’s been at Hogwarts with them. In fact, she was almost certain James and Sirius had used it on the night of her birthday.

When the ink finished spreading across the map Hermione’s heart seemed to stop all together. She blinked and had to make sure she was looking at the right spot because it clearly stated that in the Gryffindor boys’ dormitory there was a Hermione Dawson.

It didn’t make any sense. The map was never wrong! It should say her name was still Hermione Granger, not Dawson. Hermione Dawson didn’t even exist!

A million ideas started to float around in her brain but she couldn’t settle on one single theory that would suggest why her name showed up as Hermione Dawson. Maybe since she was a transplant in that time that the map took the name she decided to give herself? Or maybe since Hermione Granger hadn’t been born yet the map couldn’t locate her; but then why did it say her made up surname?

She didn’t have much time to worry about it because at that moment James’ dot was headed back towards the dormitory.

Quickly, Hermione whispered “Mischief Managed!” and shoved the map back into James’ trunk and closed it. It was perfect timing too because no sooner did she put the map back did the dormitory door swing open. Hermione quickly grabbed the two scarves that she had taken and tried to make herself look busy.

“See, I didn’t take too long,” said James with a toothy grin. He was already dressed in his day clothes but had a towel wrapped around his head. Even then, strands of his wet, jet black hair were sticking out beneath it, still impossible to tame, “I see you found the scarves. Feel free to use whichever and I’ll take the one you don’t use, I don’t mind.”

“Sure,” cracked Hermione. She gave a small cough and James looked at her curiously. “Yes… I think I’ll go with this one. Thank you James.”

Not actually paying attention to which scarf she chose, she held up the scarf in her right hand.

“Are you alright Hermione?” asked James with an eyebrow raised. He slowly pulled the towel off of his head and began to rub it through his hair, making it even messier. “You’re acting a bit strange.”

Willing herself to not give anything away, Hermione forced a smile. “No no, I’m fine really.”

James glanced down at his trunk by Hermione’s feet and then looked back up at Hermione as if trying to put all of the clues together but he seemed to give up. With a shrug, he ran his towel through his hair one last time before tossing it past Hermione and onto his already messy bed.

“Right, well are you ready to go?” asked James with a smirk.

“Ready now that I have this,” grinned Hermione as she held up James’ scarf.

Together, the two of them headed out the boys’ dormitory and although she wore a smile on her face, Hermione couldn’t help but worry about what she had seen on the map.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

“Wait until you get to experience Hogsmeade, Hermione,” said Sirius, flashing her a grin from across the table.

The Great Hall was already buzzing with excitement once James and Hermione had arrived at breakfast. The trip was everything anyone, who was a third year and up, was talking about. That and the upcoming Hogwarts feast that Hermione had to pretend she had no prior knowledge of. Most of the excitement came from both of these events happening on the same day.

Worrying about the map seemed pointless at this time so she shoved the thought of it towards the back of her head. She would work out an explanation eventually, there had to be a logical reason behind it. But for now she was going to enjoy the day with her friends.

Hermione rolled her eyes but smiled at Sirius’s excitement. “Sirius, you know that I went to Hogsmeade a number of times when I spent the summer here. I’ve already told you that,” she said as she took a fork full of scrambled eggs.

Now it was Sirius’s turn to roll his eyes at her. “Oh that’s different! You have to experience it with the rest of the school! It’s far more exciting that way.”

Thinking back to her summer alone at Hogwarts, Hermione had to agree. Hogsmeade was a great town to spend time in, and to her it was especially unique due to the fact that it was solely a wizarding community. Yet, over the summer, as she had shopped for clothing and school supplies by herself or just had ventured into the town for something to do, she had felt that the town had lost some of its charm that the school visits had.

“I agree with Sirius. It’s much more worthwhile going with the school. I’ve been there a few times with my parents and it’s not really the same,” said Remus, echoing the thoughts in Hermione’s head.

“Well, I’m looking forward to it,” grinned Hermione.

“Look forward to going to Zonko’s,” said Sirius, taking a bite of his toast. “Best joke shop in all of Great Britain.”

“Maybe even the world,” followed James.

“I don’t know about you guys,” said Peter with a gleam in his eyes, “but the best place will be Honeydukes.”

“I could certainly use some Honeydukes’ chocolate,” said Remus with a nod of agreement towards Peter. “But we definitely need to take Hermione to The Three Broomsticks.”

There were murmurs of agreement from the other boys and Hermione smirked as she took a sip of her tea.

Suddenly, James’ head shot up and snapped in Sirius’s direction.

“What is it?” said Sirius, alarm visible in his face. He wasn’t the only one, they all seemed to tense up at James’ sudden movement.

“I’ve only just remembered something,” said James, looking surprised at everyone’s worried faces, “I found it out at Quidditch practice and was going to tell you after my nap but you gits left me and came here instead.”

There was a collective sigh as they all relaxed.

“Blimey, mate,” said Sirius shaking his head, suppressing a grin. “Don’t do that, you had me scared half to death. What did you find out?”

“What on Earth did you think I was going to say?” said James looking bewildered.

“I have no idea, mate, but you looked as if you were ready to fight someone,” replied Sirius.

James smirked slightly before giving Sirius an odd look. “Did you know your darling younger brother Regulus is the new Slytherin seeker?”

Sirius, who had just taken a swig of pumpkin juice sputtered and dripped the juice down his front. Remus and Peter stared at James with looks of shock.

Hermione, who had completely forgotten about Regulus due to him never previously being brought up felt a pang of resentment towards the fact that he had never been mentioned to her.

“He’s their new seeker?” said Sirius in disbelief.

“You have a brother here?” followed Hermione, who was mad at herself for forgetting that Sirius had a brother at Hogwarts.

Remus crookedly smiled wearily. “I’m not surprised he made the team. He’s a favorite amongst the Slytherins. But I am surprised that it took him until his fifth year to actually tryout for the team.”

Sirius pursed his lips while cleaning himself up with napkins. “Well he is mister perfect. Not really shocking.” He rolled his eyes. “And yes, Hermione. My younger brother Regulus Arcturus Black, the pride of the Black family.”

Sirius’s attention turned towards the Slytherin table and Hermione followed his gaze.

“That’s him there,” said Sirius as he pointed across the hall.

Towards the middle of the Slytherin table there was a large group of fifth year Slytherins. It didn’t take long for Hermione to realize which one was Regulus. He had the same black hair as Sirius and shared the same dark good looks, but he was slightly less handsome and smaller in stature than his Gryffindor brother.

“Why haven’t you mentioned him before this?” asked Hermione curiously.

Sirius’s eyes grew darker, causing Hermione to worry. She had never seen Sirius, who was always laughing and cracking jokes, so bothered.

“We aren’t close,” muttered Sirius under his breath.

Hermione noticed the other Marauders’ expressions had all changed around the table, even they knew that it was strange to see Sirius so – well – serious.

“We used to be close as children,” continued Sirius when no one else said anything. “Things changed when I came to Hogwarts and was sorted into Gryffindor. Broke my dear old mum’s heart to see her first born son not in Slytherin, and in Gryffindor nonetheless!” Sirius’s tone became more sarcastic with every word and the other Marauders’ expressions went back to normal, clearly having heard the story many times.

But Hermione was captivated. She had heard about Sirius’s childhood many times from many different people during her time, and some stories came directly from Sirius, but it was different hearing it from him now, knowing that these memories were so fresh in his mind. It was a raw confessional, unlike the stories that Sirius had so calculated in his head over the years of being away from his family.

“My brother became mummy’s favorite after he was sorted into Slytherin like the rest of my family. She doted on him and left me to myself – not that I can complain,” said Sirius with a dark smirk. “He’s my mother’s favorite while I’m the family embarrassment, it wouldn’t look great for either of us if I were to hang out with my brother. Not that he is even considered my brother anymore.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Hermione. Remus sent her a strange look but Hermione ignored him, she was genuinely curious of the Black brothers relationship.

“Oh, I’ve been blasted off the Black family tree,” said Sirius cheerily, as if he was announcing that he had just been appointed Prefect. “Disowned by the whole lot this summer. Never felt freer!”

Hermione let out a small gasp. She had obviously known this already but seeing Sirius, and how young he still was, amazed her at how someone could throw their sixteen year old child out of the house and disown them, just like that…

“But it’s okay Hermione,” reassured Sirius. He laughed as he took in her expression of both horror and pity. “No really! It’s the best thing to happen to me. Now I live with the Potters, they took me in as their own.”

Sirius beamed at Hermione and threw his arm across James’s shoulders and James grinned back. “Now we’re truly brothers,” said James. Hermione felt her heart swell with fondness for the boys in front of her. “Even if you did leave me to rot in the dormitory earlier.”

James laughed as Sirius playfully pushed James away from him.

“I can’t believe you’ve never mentioned that either,” said Hermione, but she wasn’t upset about being left out. If anything she felt as if the boys finally trusted her enough to tell her personal things.

Sirius grinned and shrugged, “It would have been odd for me to just blurt it out in everyday conversation. Like when we’re doing our potions essays and I just go ‘oh, by the way Hermione, I have a perfect Slytherin brother and I’ve just been disowned by my family and I’m living with Prongs now.’ Bit of a strange way to bring that up, wouldn’t you say?”

Peter laughed, “that sure would be something, Padfoot.”

“It probably would be a strange thing to just tell someone you just met,” smiled Hermione, ignoring Peter. “None of the rest of you have secret siblings here do you?” asked Hermione to the other boys, who all spoke at the same time.

“Nope,” said Peter.

“I’m an only child,” shrugged Remus

“Not that I know of, but you never truly know, do you?” said James.

Hermione laughed again and shook her head. She took another sip of her morning tea as they continued with their breakfast.

Suddenly, students around them began to stand up and make their way out of the Great Hall, all chatting excitedly, leaving being sulking first and second years.

“I guess it’s time to go,” smiled Remus as he began to stand up.

“Where should we head to first?” asked Peter as he too stood up.

“Zonko’s!” said James and Sirius in unison.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

The walk to the village had been a pleasant one and Hermione realized that she had made the right decision in asking for a scarf. There was a brisk wind and the sun was hiding away behind the British clouds. But the cold didn’t have much of an effect on her as she greatly enjoyed the company of the Marauders.

Sirius seemed keen on giving Hermione the grand tour of Hogsmeade, much to her dismay. James, Remus, and Peter were amused by him at first but after an hour had passed and they realized that Hermione knew the village pretty well, they too began to get annoyed.

True to their words, James and Sirius made the group’s first stop Zonko’s Joke Shop. There wasn’t a single display that the five of them didn’t look at, and Hermione had to admit; there were a handful of items that caught her eye. Particularly, there was invisible ink that could only be viewed if the buyer has given someone permission to view it. It was meant so students could send notes to each other in class and not have unwanted eyes see it but Hermione thought it would be a great tool to stop cheating during exams.

“Not everything has to be for school, Hermione,” said Sirius, rolling his eyes at her when she brought this up.

“She’s right, you know,” said Remus, and Hermione smiled at him. “The Ministry could use it for private documents as well.”

“Well, hope that no one else is smart enough to use it for that,” said James, “or Padfoot may never pass an exam again!”

Watching James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus excitedly make their was through the joke shop was like seeing children given free rein in a candy store for the first time. Which brought them to their second stop; Honeydukes.

Honeydukes was far more crowded than Zonko’s had been, especially as it was nearing lunchtime. The gang seemed to split up upon entering the store, all to collect their favorite treats.

Peter immediately walked over to the Chocolate Frog stand, probably to expand on his card collection, James went right to the Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans, Remus walked to far side of the store to look at the huge arrays of different chocolate bars, while Sirius found himself looking at exploding bonbons and pepper imps.

Not able to hide her own excitement, Hermione ventured into the aisles of the most amazing looking candy. She saw bubblegum that emitted real bubbles as it was chewed, ice cream that was sitting over a flame but never melted, and peppermint toads that actually hopped in your stomach after you ate them. It was also nice to see the excited faces of third years who had never experienced the store before.

Although she didn’t have much of a sweet tooth, probably from being raised by two dentists, Hermione managed to let herself buy some beautiful looking sugar quills, but the deluxe kind because she knew they’d last longer.

“Good haul this time,” said Peter with a toothy grin as the five of them exited the store and continued down the main path of Hogsmeade carrying bags full of sweets and items from Zonko’s. The four boys had enough sweets to last them the year, making Hermione wonder what wizards did for cavities. There must be a spell or potion for them and the boys probably needed it often.

“I’ll say!” grinned Sirius, reaching into one of his Honeyduke’s bags and plopping a pepper imp into his mouth. Immediately, flames burst from his mouth, managing to catch the end of James’s scarf on fire.

Before James even had time to react to the fact that Sirius had set him on fire Remus shouted “Augamenti!” and a small stream of water extinguished James.

“Maybe I should save these for later,” said Sirius casually, as if he didn’t just set his best friend on fire.

“Careful!” said James, looking slightly bewildered. “My mum knit this scarf.”

“Hang on, isn’t that also your scarf?” said Peter, as he pointed to the scarf around Hermione’s neck.

Instinctively, Hermione put her hand on the scarf, wondering why Peter seemed to care.

“Seems so,” said Remus giving both Hermione and James a curious look.

“I managed to forget to pack my scarf with me so James lent me one. You lot would have known if you hadn’t abandoned James this morning,” said Hermione with a playfully accusational tone. “But that actually reminds me! Can you guys give me a quick second to run into Gladrags Wizardwear so I can buy one for myself? It’s right there, so it’s not like it’s out of our way.” She pointed across the path to the clothing store.

“Why don’t you just have your mum or dad send yours to you instead of buying a new one?” asked Peter, tilting his head to the side in confusion

“My old winter wear is getting worn out anyway, it’s about time I bought some new things. Plus my mum and dad sent me some spending money for my birthday and this would be the responsible way to spend it,” defended Hermione, not wanting to give away that she couldn't have her nonexistent parents send her nonexistent winter items. “I’ll be quick I promise. Then we can head to the Three Broomsticks as planned.”

“Alright, we’ll wait here,” said Remus with a smile.

Hermione dashed into the clothing store and quickly bought a hat, gloves, a nice wool scarf, and two warm jumpers. More clothes could wait until the next trip into the village, it would be rude for her to make the boys wait outside.

It took her no more than ten minutes to conclude the shopping trip. The customers inside must have thought she was mad at how fast she was moving but she didn’t care as she weaved in and out of the crowded store before returning outside.

“Wow, that’s the fastest I’ve ever seen a girl shop in a clothing store,” said Sirius as Hermione came back into the street.

Hermione rolled her eyes at him as James gave Sirius an affronted look and whacked him behind the head.

“Oi! What was that for?” demanded Sirius.

“Your lack of tact,” said Remus simply with a small grin on his face as Peter laughed from beside him. James also looked quite pleased with himself for the rest of their walk to the Three Broomsticks.

Warm air greeted Hermione as they pushed open the door to the smoky yet cozy, crowded pub. It was far more crowded than Hermione could ever remember from her time as only a few tables were left unoccupied.

"Ah, and our table is still open!" grinned Sirius. "Follow us, Hermione."

The boys made their way through the crowded pub with Hermione trailing behind them and they found themselves at a snug corner booth close to the bar.

Sirius and James immediately took their seats on one side of the booth and Remus slid into the other side. Hermione followed Remus and sat beside him leaving Peter staring at her awkwardly.

He looked at Remus and then back at Hermione before turning to face James and Sirius.

"Aw come here, Wormtail, we'll make room," grinned James as he shoved Sirius closer to the wall to make a spot for Peter to sit.

"Thanks," mumbled Peter but he still had an off expression on his face.

"Oh, er, sorry, did I take your usual seat, Peter?" asked Hermione. As much as she wasn't very fond of Peter she didn't want to cause a problem between the other boys.

"It's not a problem, Hermione, you didn’t know. I guess we're not used to having five of us here," said Remus and he smiled at her crookedly.

"You've never had another person sitting with you guys? I find that hard to believe," said Hermione thinking about how popular the boys seemed to be.

James chuckled. "Well, we've had our fair share of girls with us, mostly Sirius. But he makes them pull up a chair."

Hermione gasped and Sirius snorted. "Sirius! You make your girlfriends pull up a chair instead of making room?"

Sirius flipped his long hair out of his face and grinned cheekily. "It hasn’t been that many girls. I wouldn't use the word 'girlfriend' more like-"

"-squeeze of the day," finished James and Peter laughed from beside him.

Hermione just stared and Remus smirked and shook his head. "I'll get the first round of butterbeers," he said. 

Hermione started to get up to let him out of the booth when Sirius held up his hand and stopped her.

"Now why should we settle for butterbeers when we can get something stronger," said Sirius, wiggling his eyebrows.

"We can't get anything stronger," reminded Remus. "We're all underage."

Sirius flashed another grin and focused his gaze on Hermione, which immediately made her feel suspicious.

"Hermione here is of age, she could easily order us a round of firewhiskey and bring it back to the table."

James laughed from beside Sirius. "Rosemerta would figure it out if Hermione did that, mate."

"But Rosemerta loves us! I bet she'd let it slide."

"I certainly am not buying you illegal drinks," said Hermione, crossing her arms firmly.

“I’d pay for it of course,” said Sirius, giving Hermione his sweetest smile.

“Not going to happen,” said Hermione, staring Sirius down.

“Right… so how about some butterbeers?” said James clapping his hands together with a smile.

“A round of butterbeers then?” said a voice from beside Hermione.

She turned and looked up at a smiling girl about in her mid to late twenties. Her first thought was how pretty the girl was. The young woman’s face was pleasant to look at and she had curves that would make any boy take a second glance. She had a barmaid’s outfit on but what really stood out were the sparkling heels that she had on. It was then that Hermione realized she was staring at a young Madam Rosemerta.

“Ah Rosemerta, darling! We were just talking about you. You look beautiful today,” said Sirius, sending her a wink.

Rosemerta chuckled and shook her head. “Charming as ever, Black. I was wonderin’ when you lot would make your way to my pub.”

“Aw, did you miss us over the summer holiday?” grinned James.

“Don’t flatter yourselves too much, boys,” said Rosemerta with a wink. “Now who’s this?” Rosemerta gestured towards Hermione with a smile. “I see that you’ve let her sit at the table instead of pulling up a chair! She must be special.”

“I’m Hermione Dawson,” said Hermione “and this is now the second time I’ve heard that they make girls pull up a chair instead of actually joining them. You all are awful!” she said as she sent the boys disapproving looks while they grinned back at her.

Sirius laughed. “That’s because this booth is meant for us, they were just visiting.”

“But you’re letting me – Oh!” That’s when it resonated in her what Sirius had said. They considered her one of them and part of the group now. They could have pulled up a chair for her and she never would have known that that’s how they treated people they didn’t think would stick around. Instead, they made room for her. She was truly touched and had no words.

Remus was looking at her with a sparkle in his eyes and he started to laugh, “you seem surprised that we like you. I thought that would have been obvious by now.”

Hermione felt almost giddy and couldn’t control the smile that was forming on her flushed face.

Rosemerta was still standing there, looking slightly awkward now but still smiling. “I’ll be back with your butterbeers.”

“Wait!” Sirius almost jumped out of his seat, smacking James in the face in the process, by trying to get Rosemerta’s attention. “I would like one firewhiskey as well.”

Rosemerta stopped and stared at Sirius before bursting out laughing. “I know full well that you are not of age, Sirius Black!”

Sirius put on his best winning smile. “Rosemerta… come on, my birthday is in three days, can’t we just keep this between us?”

Hermione noticed Remus grinning while rolling his eyes as Sirius did a lame circle with his finger while bouncing his eyebrows up and down.

“Fat chance,” said Rosemerta with a smirk before walking away, her heels clicking as they hit the wooden floors.

James put his hand on Sirius’s shoulder, “next time, Padfoot.”

Sirius sighed. “It was worth a shot. But I actually have something very important to tell you guys!”

“Oh? And what would that be?” asked Remus, raising his eyebrow.

“So you know our new Defense professor, Professor Warbeck?” said Sirius.

“Yeah, I like her, I hope she sticks around,” said Peter.

“Nah, I bet you a galleon she’ll be gone by the end of the year. No one ever lasts more than a year in that position,” said James.

“You’re on,” grinned Peter and the two boys shook hands.

“Listen, listen,” said Sirius, and everyone hushed and paid attention. “I think she’s related to Celestina Warbeck!”

There was a slight pause before James started laughing. “That singer that my mum listens to?”

“She looks nothing like her except that she’s short,” said Remus. “And way shorter than Celestina Warbeck, may I add.”

“Think about it! How common is the last name Warbeck? They must be related,” said Sirius confidently.

“It’s a possibility,” said Hermione, not really buying it. Their tiny professor had been there for two months now, someone would have found out if they were related by now.

“Well, I’m going to prove it,” said Sirius with a mischievous grin, causing Remus, Hermione, and Peter to groan. This would just be another plan of his that would land him in detention.

Hermione knew it would be stupid to ask him what he was planning so she decided to stay quiet.

“I’m going to head to the loo,” said Peter after a moment’s pause.

“Hurry back, Wormy!” Sirius called out to him as Peter rolled his eyes and walked away.

Soon after Peter left, Rosemerta arrived with their butterbeers and Hermione was grateful to have the warm drink in her hands.

“I can’t believe that you are able to order anything from this pub and you still went with a butterbeer, something third years can order! Disgraceful.” said Sirius, shaking his head at her.

Pursing her lips, Hermione narrowed her eyes and brought the pint to her lips and took a long sip while staring at Sirius before placing it back down in front of her. “I like it.”

Remus laughed as Sirius grinned at her. “Whatever you say, Hermione.”

“You know, I’ve just noticed that you guys haven’t called me Dawson in a while,” remembered Hermione.

“Would you rather us call you that?” asked James, raising an eyebrow.

“No!” laughed Hermione. “I just thought it was interesting.”

“I guess we’ve just gotten to know you better,” said James with a short shrug.

“But you still refer to Lily as ‘Evans’ when you speak to her, do you not know her well enough to call her by her first name?” asked Hermione curiously and James’s face twisted into confusion as he processed this.

“Speaking of the devil,” said Sirius, nodding his head in the direction of the door of the pub and all of their heads turned.

A large group of girls from their year and Mary entered the pub led by Lily herself. After a second, Hermione realized that it was the group of Hufflepuffs that Mary and Lily spent so much time with. They were laughing and carrying shopping bags of their own. Luckily enough for them, a large table near the front window had recently opened up and the group of girls headed towards it.

James had gone completely silent as he stared across the pub at Lily.

“Aw, why don’t you just talk to her, Prongs,” said Sirius, giving his best friend a supportive look. “It’s been a month.”

“You’re right, I should,” said James but he didn’t look very enthusiastic.

“She’s just over there, go on over and say hi,” encouraged Hermione. She knew Lily was done snubbing James, all he had to do was make an effort.

“What? Here?” said James looking surprised at Hermione. “In front of everyone?”

“James, are you scared?” asked Remus with a smirk but James just pursed his lips and took a sip of his butterbeer.

“Oh for heaven’s sake,” said Hermione. “You’re being ridiculous!”

Getting to her feet, Hermione walked to the other side of the table and grabbed onto James’s sleeve and yanked but he was still resisting, clinging to the table for support. Remus and Sirius watched on in amusement.

“James, come on,” said Hermione, giving him a stern look

“No, I’ve changed my mind, Hermione,” said James as he pulled against her grip on him. “I should wait a little longer.”

With a sigh, Hermione released his arm and pursed her lips.

But James wasn’t paying attention. He was staring at the table at the front of the pub, longingly looking at Lily as she happily chatted to the group of girls.

“James?”  said Remus but James didn’t seem to hear him.

Hermione coughed to try to get his attention but it didn’t work either.

“James…” said Remus a little louder but this time with a smirk.

James’ head snapped back to reality and looked around. “Huh?”

“You look a little lost there, Prongs,” said Remus grinning at his friend across the table.

“Why don’t you just talk to her, James?” said Hermione, crossing back over to her side of the booth and returning to her seat beside Remus.

“She still won’t talk to me,” mumbled James with a small frown.

Hermione sighed. “I am quite positive that she’ll have a warmer reaction to you now. You haven’t tried talking to her in ages. I think in her own way she kind of misses you pestering her.”

It wasn’t a lie, Hermione had caught Lily staring at James when he wasn’t looking numerous times. It was as if she missed James bothering her.

“Wow, pestering,” said James rolling his eyes. “Thanks, Hermione.”

Sirius and Remus laughed and Hermione smiled apologetically. “I didn’t mean it that way. Just go talk to her.”

“She’s never going to like me,” said James and he looked so defeated that Hermione had a wild urge to hug him.

“You could always try being her friend first,” suggested Hermione gently.

There was a pause as James considered this.

“What if she blows me off in front of the Hufflepuffs?” asked James, looking worried.

“That doesn’t seem like the most likely possibility,” said Remus looking over at the girls’ table, “given the fact that she’s headed over here now.”

Lily must have just spotted Hermione because she had abandoned her table and was walking towards them, grinning and waving at Hermione.

Almost mechanically, James’s hand went through his hair before he started trying to smooth down his clothes.

By the time Lily had reached the table, James looked more of a mess than he did previously.

“Ready, Hermione?” asked Lily with a smile. “The girls are really excited to meet you.”

“Yes, I believe I’m about ready,” said Hermione. She turned to look back at James and sent him another stern look before kicking him under the table.

“Hey!” exclaimed James in pain, but his mad expression softened when he saw Lily staring at him in confusion. “Oh, right--. Er, hello Eva—Lily.”

Hermione could visibly see James gulp as he awkwardly got to his feet and faced her. It was the closest she’s seen them next to each other since their fight.

“Hello, James,” said Lily, clearly amused.

With a clear of his throat, James finally began talking. “Look, I just want to apologize for what happened at the lake. I get it, I was immature and shouldn’t have done that to Snive—Severus.”

James almost looked like he was in pain calling Snape by his first name. “I know I should stop hexing Slytherins and landing in detention, and I know that I can be a bother but I can be different. I’ll stop asking you out since you clearly would rather date a giant squid,” said James, his voice oozing with humility. “But maybe we could be… friends?”

A smile crept across Lily’s face and she seemed moved by James’s words, and Hermione had to admit that James did sound sincere, and slightly desperate. “Thank you James, that actually means a lot. We can try being friends on one condition.”

“Anything,” said James, his eyes were wide with surprise that he was even getting this far.

“Just stop hexing students in the hallways because you like it,” said Lily. “And that includes Severus. I may not be friends with him anymore but it’s still wrong.”

Hermione could see James fighting back a retort but to her surprise he bit it back and forced a smile. “Deal.”

Lily beamed, clearly impressed. “Wow, thank you, James.”

“Since we’re all friends again why don’t we all eat together at the feast tonight? Mary too, of course,” said Remus.

Hermione turned to him and smiled, “that’s a great idea!”

“You know what? Sure, why not?” said Lily with a smile to all of them.

At that moment Peter came back to the table and his beady eyes almost popped out of his head at the sight of Lily and James standing next to each other smiling.

“What’d I miss?” he asked and the rest of them laughed.

“Alright Hermione, let’s go. And bring your butterbeer!” said Lily smiling. She looked back at the boys. “It was nice to see you all, I guess I’ll see you again at the feast tonight.”

“Bye Lily,” said Remus while Sirius waved and Peter and James just stared in awe.

Hermione grabbed her butterbeer and bags and got up to follow Lily who was crossing the pub. She got a few tables away before turning and looking back at the table. Peter had taken her seat and was chatting happily with the boys. They all seemed engrossed in their conversation but Remus happened to look up and catch Hermione’s eye. He grinned and waved in her direction. Smiling, Hermione waved back before turning and continuing to follow Lily.

Lily led Hermione across the crowded pub to a large round table near the windows looking out on Hogsmeade village. At the table sat Mary, beside five Hufflepuff girls that Hermione recognized from class.

“Hey guys,” smiled Lily as she approached the table. “You all know Hermione, but I don’t think you’ve all been formally introduced.”

“No, we haven’t,” said a brunette, bespectacled girl with a grin who was sitting next to Mary. Hermione struggled to place her name, whenever she looked at her the name Alexis came to mind but that didn’t seem quite right.

Lily laughed. “Well, this is Hermione Dawson. As you know, Hermione transferred here from Beauxbaton this year, you’ve obviously seen her in class and have heard lots about her from both Mary and myself. Hermione that would be Alexa Wainwright.”

Alexa gave a friendly wave and Hermione smiled back at her. She had been close with guessing her name but also felt slightly guilty for not remembering the Hufflepuffs’ names.

One by one, Lily named each of the girls. Next to Alexa was a short, dark skinned girl with large brown eyes and a friendly smile whose name was Michelle Pickett. Beside her was a girl named Doris Cassidy who had short black hair, bright eyes, and a mischievous grin. The third girl was Joana Kelley, she was pale with curly orange hair and it didn’t surprise Hermione that she spoke with an Irish accent when she greeted her. And the last seat was taken by a thin and pretty blonde girl with green eyes and light freckles covering her nose whose name was Claudia Mahoney.

“You would also meet Sarah Connelly but she ditched us to go on a date. Can you believe it? Her and Jared Muller – you know, the captain of our Quidditch team – are officially an item now,” said Doris as Hermione sat in the empty seat next to Mary, Lily sitting on the other side of Hermione.

Mary raised an eyebrow “I didn’t know they were official, I thought they were just messing around.”

The blonde girl, Claudia laughed. “Doris is ahead of the game apparently, but not too far off. Sarah told us last night in the dormitory that she was going to ask Jared to go steady during their date today. They’re probably over at Madam Puddifoot’s right now talking about it over some tea.”

“Good for them,” said Lily with a smile. “It’s obvious that they’ve liked each other for a while.”

“Marcus Donner asked me out yesterday,” blurted out Mary, who was received with gasps from around the table, excluding Hermione who was sipping her butterbeer, feeling overwhelmed, and having trouble keeping up with who was who.

“What did you say?” asked Joana eagerly, looking excited.

Mary shrugged. “I told him I’d think about it and let him know for the next Hogsmeade trip because I already had plans for today. He should have asked earlier.”

“Who’s that again?” asked Hermione, feeling quite foolish as she tried to remember all the Hufflepuff girls’ names while trying to follow the conversation.

“He’s a Ravenclaw boy in our year, he’s also the Captain of their Quidditch team,” said Michelle kindly with a smile. “I’m going to get us a round of butterbeers, I know you already have one Hermione but would you like anything else?”

“Oh I’m fine, but thank you,” said Hermione, slightly taken aback at the girl’s friendliness. As Michelle walked away, Hermione began to think about how she had never really had a Hufflepuff friend during her time at school, but she began to think that she wouldn’t mind Michelle being her first.

“He’s also the boy in our charms class that was constantly the augamenti charm on himself that day it was very hot,” said Mary with an amused expression.

“Ah, yes, now I remember him,” said Hermione thinking back to the Charms lesson from the beginning of the month.

“And we all saw James and him shooting the spell at each other from across the room as well,” grinned Lily and Mary laughed.

“Speaking of James…” began Alexa. “What on earth was that about over there?”

Even though the pub did not have the best lighting, Hermione swore she saw Lily blush at the question.

“You know, I cannot believe it entirely myself but James actually apologized for being an arrogant toe-rag,” smiled Lily. “Those weren’t exactly his words but it all adds up to the same thing. He wants to be friends. I think he’s finally maturing.”

“Took him five and a half years,” mumbled Mary causing Lily to reach over Hermione and give her a friendly smack on the arm, making Mary grin wider.

Doris gave a heavy sigh. “Everyone is getting together with good-looking Quidditch captains and I can’t even get a date this year. First Sarah with Jared, then Mary and Marcus, and now Lily with James…”

“Are you confessing your love for the Slytherin team captain?” giggled Alexa.

“God no!” said Doris, looking aghast.

“Calm down, Doris” laughed Mary. “Marcus and I are not even remotely ‘together’ in any sense of the word... He asked me to go with him to Hogsmeade today but, as I’ve said, I already had plans so I told him no.”

“And the thought of James and me being together is ridiculous!” said Lily with wide eyes.

Hermione, who had just begun to take a long swig of her butterbeer coughed into her pint upon hearing this. Oh how little Lily knew…

“How ‘bout you Hermione, you’ve been ‘ere two months now, any boy catch your fancy?” asked Joana as Hermione tried not to bring attention to herself, obviously failing at her task.

“Oh! Um, I haven’t really been looking…” said Hermione truthfully. With her being stuck twenty years in the past, it didn’t seem like the right time to be searching for a boyfriend. She didn’t know why the question embarrassed her so much but she could feel her face start to burn.

“Just because you haven’t been looking doesn’t mean you haven’t noticed,” said Doris with a grin. “Especially when hanging around those Gryffindor boys all the time.”

“They’re just friends,” said Hermione. It was weird to even think of them in that context, especially since she was in the wrong timeline and knew of them in the future.

“But they’re all so good-looking! Well, maybe not so much Peter, bless his little soul, but the other three are quite the lookers, especially Sirius,” said Doris and she sighed and looked over in the direction of where the boys were sitting.

“Sirius is an arse,” said Mary bluntly.

“Why is it that you’ve always hated him? You never tell,” said Claudia and Hermione happened to be mirroring her thoughts as well. She didn’t understand the great dislike Mary had for Sirius. Yes, he could be rude, reckless, and an all-around pain in the arse at times but Hermione did see the side of him that was kind and she greatly did enjoy being in his company.

“I have my reasons,” was all Mary said in response.

“Well I for one agree with Doris that James, Sirius, and Remus are nice to look at,” said Claudia with a shy grin, “but I feel out of the three of them that Remus is actually the best looking. You’ve spent a lot of time with them Hermione, wouldn’t you agree?”

Hermione knew Claudia was trying to be friendly and include her in the conversation but she couldn’t help feeling taken aback by the question. She could see where the girls were coming from with James and Sirius. Sirius was devilishly handsome and had rugged charm while James was fit and athletic from Quidditch and his messy hair drove some girls nuts. She had noticed a handful of girls admiring the pair of them down at the lake and it came as no surprise to her, but Remus? She had never put much thought into it.

“Really, Remus?” asked Mary, looking puzzled and saving Hermione from the embarrassment of having to answer. “Not that he’s bad looking, and he’s the sweetest, but the best looking out of the three of them?”

Claudia blushed and tried to hide a smile. “Oh I don’t know. He just seems so strong and he has these big, kind green eyes that look like a puppy’s. And he does that weird thing with his smile that is kind of adorable.”

The more Claudia spoke the more Hermione could see where she was coming from. Claudia was right, Remus was pretty strong, he had pulled her out of the trick step like she weighed nothing and didn’t even seem strained. True, he wasn’t traditionally handsome like James or Sirius but he definitely had his charms, like the crooked smile he does when he tries not to laugh or the way his eyes would light up when he spoke about something he loves. The combo of his sandy blonde hair and the green eyes was slightly striking too and made him stand out from his dark haired best friends. Unlike James and Sirius, Remus must have been completely oblivious to his subtle handsomeness, and especially oblivious that girls like Claudia, who clearly liked him, thought he was better looking than his friends. Hermione grinned as she imagined what his expression would be like if she told him what Claudia had said, she imagined he would be completely shocked and flustered. Hermione began to think that poor Peter must feel very inadequate surrounded by his friends, but then she pushed that thought aside, Peter wasn’t getting any pity from her and also thinking about the Marauders as good looking was making her very uncomfortable.

“I’ve returned with the drinks!” said Michelle from behind Hermione, cutting the conversation short. She placed a large tray of seven butterbeers down at the center of the table and all the girls made a grab for one as Michelle sat back down between Alexa and Doris. “There’s a really long line at the counter, it’s as if the entire student body is in this pub right now. Please tell me you aren’t all still talking about boys.”

“Guilty,” grinned Alexa.

Michelle shook her head but was smiling. “You’re probably making Hermione think that all we ever talk about is boys,” she said shaking her head. She looked at Hermione, “which is not true, by the way, we usually have much less trivial conversations.”

“It’s true,” agreed Lily.

“Boys are not trivial,” defended Doris, crossing her arms. “I just really like boys…”

The rest of the girls laughed at this and Doris cracked a smile.

“It just started by explaining why Sarah wasn’t ‘ere, but we can definitely talk ‘bout somethin’ else,” said Joana.

“How are you adjusting to Hogwarts, Hermione? Do you like it here so far?” asked Michelle, trying to change the subject away from boys, which Hermione greatly appreciated.

“Oh it’s great, I really like the classes and the people I’ve met,” said Hermione, grinning.

Michelle was true to her word and the topic of boys never came back up throughout their lunch. Hermione was grateful for Michelle because she had never been good at talking about boys or her feelings towards them, except sometimes with Ginny. It was one of the reasons she had never really gotten along with Pavarti and Lavender during her time, they always spoke about boys, Lavender especially. During her last year during her time, Lavender seemed quite persistent in questioning Hermione about whether or not she was involved with Ron. Even though she did have growing feelings for Ron it really wasn’t any of Lavender’s business. She wondered why Lavender even cared so much about whether or not she and Ron had a thing.

The rest of her time in The Three Broomsticks was nice as Hermione settled into the group of Hufflepuff girls. They truly were an interesting group, and it was fascinating to see how different they all were from one another. Michelle and Claudia seemed shier than the other three but were always welcoming and trying to get Hermione involved in the conversation. Alexa and Joana liked to crack jokes and made it their mission to get all the girls at the table to laugh. And Doris was the loudest and had no qualms with saying whatever was on her mind, and as annoyingly entertaining it could be, Hermione believed Doris to at least be someone who she could trust, but probably not with her gossip.

They spent a long time in the Three Broomsticks. By the time they finished talking and decided to leave, most of the pub had emptied and what was visible of the sun behind the clouds seemed much lower in the sky. The eight girls headed back into the quaint village and there was a crisp chill in the air that made Hermione pull James’s scarf tighter and she considered taking out her new scarf and putting that on as well, it was as if the November chill had come a day early.

The girls questioned Hermione on what she had seen already in the village and came to a conclusion that the boys had given her a pretty good tour, but should have brought her to the abandoned shack at the edge of the village. Hermione knew perfectly well why the boys had glossed over the shrieking shack. Their excuse was that it wasn’t very interesting but the girls seemed to think otherwise.

As they stopped at the fence that separated the town from the shack, Michelle walked up from behind Hermione and stood next to her.

“Apparently that shack is haunted,” said Michelle. “Some people are starting to call it the Shrieking Shack.”

“Is that so?” said Hermione, staring up at the abandoned building, but she could see Michelle nodding out of the corner of her eye.

“Over the past few years residents have heard screams coming from inside it, but the whole building is boarded up, there’s no way in or out,” said Michelle. “The Fat Friar told us that not even the ghosts venture in there because they’re frightened. Some sort of spirit or monster apparently lives in there.”

Hermione’s heart started to ache to think that the residents thought a monster lived there when in reality it was Remus who had to transform there every full moon, and the next full moon was in just a week. She was sure that Remus knew what the rumors were and she wished she could know what went through his mind when he heard them.

“It’s fitting that you’re seeing it today since it’s Halloween,” said Michelle, giving Hermione a smile and a small nudge. Hermione forced a smile back. “Come on, let’s head back to the castle for the feast. You’re in for a real treat!" 

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

The Great Hall was energetic with excitement from the post-Hogsmeade trip and also the incredible food that cluttered the four long tables. Each year Hermione swore the food was better than the last and enjoyed every bite that she took. She was also enjoying the company of her fellow Gryffindors around her.

In Hogsmeade Lily had agreed to join Hermione and the boys at the feast and she had brought Mary along with her as Remus requested. Sirius, James, Lily, and Peter were now sitting across from Hermione at the Gryffindor table while she was sandwiched between Remus and Mary. The dynamic of the group was completely different with all of them there and Hermione realized that today was the first day she had truly been happy since she landed in the past. A part of her felt like she really did belong.

Hermione smiled to herself as she glanced at her friends around the table. It was the first time that year that the entirety of the sixth year Gryffindors were eating dinner together. Not only were they eating together, but they were all actually getting along.

Maybe it had to do with the excitement and happiness that came from their visit into Hogsmeade or the delicious feast but James and Lily were happily chatting like old friends and Mary and Sirius weren’t actually bickering for a change. All it took was for Halloween to bring them all together.

And tear them all apart, reminded a small voice in the back of Hermione’s head.

All of a sudden Hermione’s happiness ended just like that as she looked at the people she had gotten close to over the past two months. Her eyes fell on James and Lily and her breath caught as it dawned on her that in five years from that very moment the two of them would be killed. Her two friends that she had really grown to care for, dead, and nothing she could do about it. Five years from that very night…

Her attention switched to Sirius, who was still happily shoveling food into his mouth next to James. She looked at his bright, young, and handsome face but all she could see was the gaunt looking skeletal like man she had encountered after he had escaped from Azkaban when she was 14. Five years from today and he would walk into the ruins of the Potter’s house and see his friends dead, betrayed by another friend before getting blamed himself and spending 12 years imprisoned for it.

Yet another awful thought crossed her mind. Sirius had died the day she was sent to 1976. Had his death happened so suddenly that she had forgotten? Or had she pushed that horrid thought far into the back of her head? It had happened only moments before her life got turned upside down and she had never had time to mourn his death. The Sirius Black in her time was dead and now Harry had no family left. Tears were threatening to spill from her face as she torn her eyes away from Sirius feeling sick to her stomach.

And the betrayer, Peter, was looking young and innocent as he spoke to Mary from across the table. He was the cause of all of this. The Potter’s secret keeper and Voldemort’s spy. Without him, Lily, James, and Sirius would all be alive, Harry would have a happy loving family, and chances are she never would have been thrown into the past.

Turning to her right, Hermione looked at Mary. She had no knowledge of how Mary’s life turned out after all of this. How did she handle the death of James and Lily? Was she even still alive or was she another causality of the first war? Never had Mary ever been mentioned to Hermione in her time and Mary certainly wasn’t a member of the Order of the Phoenix. Mary had been a breath of fresh air for Hermione when she was overwhelmed by all of the people she knew when she got here. All Hermione could do was hope that her fate wasn’t even half as bad as the fates that Hermione knew about.

And then that left Remus. Oh poor Remus… A boy who never thought he would have a friends or a normal future due to his lycanthropy. Hermione turned to her left and looked at the boy with the sandy hair that as of yet did not have premature greys like it would in the future. He was one of her favorite people in this time period and it hurt so much to think of the life he would soon have. Five years from that moment and he’ll have lost four of his closest friends in the entire world and not know why until 12 years later. He’ll spend those 12 years blaming the wrong person while being shunned from the wizarding world for being something he had no control over. He was the last person she had seen before she got sent back twenty years and he had been so broken after witnessing the death of his last friend.

“Hermione…?”

The alarm in Remus’s voice brought Hermione back from her memory. She hadn’t even noticed when Remus had turned to look at her as she stared at him but his eyes were wide with concern. The others around her had gone silent and she could feel hot tears silently moving down her face.

“Hermione, you’re shaking…” said Remus in a soft voice.

Hermione looked down at her hands and they were indeed shaking. The rest of the group all stared at her with mixed expressions of shock and concern.

Hermione had never felt so helpless and small at the same time. Panic was rising up through her body, threatening to suffocate her. She felt ashamed at her emotions and quickly looked around before her eyes stopped at the staff table. To her surprise, Dumbledore was looking back at her. He stared down at her with an expression that was unreadable but also somewhat knowing.

“Hermione, what’s happened?” asked Remus again in a soft voice, causing Hermione to look back at him. He reached out and gently put his hand on Hermione’s shoulder and she involuntarily flinched at his touch. Pain was evident in his eyes as he pulled his hand away.

“I’m sorry,” breathed Hermione. “I-I have to go…”

Quickly, Hermione got up from the Gryffindor table and ran from the Great Hall, ignoring the glances and whispers that trailed behind her.

She was thinking fast as she entered the Grand Stair Case, but she had no idea where to go. Her first thought was to go to Dumbledore’s office but she couldn’t because he was still at the feast.

For an irrational moment Hermione considered using a secret passage to leave Hogwarts’ grounds to just get away but in her panic to escape none of the passages were coming to mind.

She couldn’t go back to the common room, she needed to be alone and they would obviously find her there. But then again they had the Marauder’s Map, they’d be able to find her wherever she went.

Except for one place.

Hermione took off up the stairwell, exhausting herself in the process. She only stopped to wait for the moving stairs, other than that she didn’t stop moving until she reached a large stone wall in a corridor on the seventh floor.

I need a place to go to calm down. I need a place to go to be alone with my own thoughts.

A brilliant wooden door appeared before her and Hermione didn’t hesitate to rush forward and go into the Room of Requirements.

The room that appeared for her made her literally stop in her tracks as the great wooden door clicked shut behind her.

It was the most beautiful room she had ever seen. The Room of Requirements had created a room that represented anything Hermione could have ever asked for.

It was a decently sized room that was entirely lined with bookshelves. Where the walls were visible she could tell that it was paneled with a beautiful mahogany wood, and the wooden floor was barely to be seen beneath a large decorated scarlet and gold oriental rug at her feet. There was a soft light given from the torches around the room that made the room look as if it were glowing in amber light.

Numerous desks were scattered around the room leaving space in the center for squishy looking couches that faced a roaring warm fireplace that added to the beautifully lit room.

The room was as if she had mixed a library with the Gryffindor common room, two of her favorite and most comforting places.

Memorized, Hermione stepped farther in the room and the warmth of the fire immediately lessened her panic. She took a deep breath and inhaled the rich aroma of scented candles that she just noticed on the desks. The aromas of vanilla, apples, and cinnamon, greeted her senses and reminded her of home.

But that thought of home immediately resurfaced the memory of why she was here in the first place and she felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes again.

She crossed the room and sank into one of the couches by the fire and pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face in them.

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that these people she had grown to care for, people who were so kind and deserved the best out of life, would all wind up dead or alone. It wasn’t fair that she was stuck here in the past and there was nothing she could do to get back home, and yet there nothing she could do to save her friends now that she was here.

Hermione stayed in the room and cried for a while, not knowing what to do, but allowing herself to mourn her friends' premature deaths. She was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t realized she wasn’t alone anymore until she heard a soft cough from behind her.

Shocked that someone had managed to find her hiding spot, her head snapped up and she looked towards the door where Professor Dumbledore was standing, looking at her with a great sense of pity.

“Professor Dumbledore?” croaked Hermione, her voice sore from crying. She quickly tried to wipe the tears from her face but it was useless, he had obviously seen her crying.

He gave her a sad smile as he crossed further into the room until he stood before her in front of the fireplace. “That was quite the display in the Great Hall, Ms. Granger.”

Hermione involuntarily flinched at the sound of real name. The use of it sent more pain through her heart and reminded her of how she shouldn’t be here.

When she didn’t say anything Dumbledore continued. “I’m guessing that being here longer isn’t making it easier?”

“Not entirely, sir,” said Hermione as she stared back down at her knees and sniffled. “The happier I become here the harder it gets knowing there’s nothing I can do.”

It was Dumbledore’s turn to say nothing and Hermione looked back up at him, desperate for help. “Please, there must be some way for me to change the past. How damaged could the future become if I change something and saved people? I could make a difference!”

The expression that covered the old headmaster’s face answered that question for her. He looked deeply troubled and Hermione knew that she shouldn’t be implying the awful things that were to happen in the future but she had no one else to talk to about it and was craving for someone to understand.

“You’re a brilliant witch, Hermione. Do I even have to answer that for you?” asked Dumbledore sadly.

Hermione closed her eyes and shook her head. “I feel like I am to blame if I don’t prevent what could be made preventable.”

“How are you to blame for something that has happened even before you got here?” soothed Dumbledore. “Do not burden yourself with sufferings that are out of your control. You know what would happen if you change something, you and others could become unborn and could end up making the future a drastically worse place. Wizards are not meant to meddle with time. These things already happened before you were sent here, and whatever it was must still unfold.”

Hermione took a deep breath and nodded. “It’s just not fair,” she whispered and then gave a dark chuckled before wiping another tear from her eye.

Dumbledore smiled. “Ah, and that is the greatest misfortune of life, that it can be so remarkably unfair, even to the people who have done nothing wrong. But we as people are strong enough and wise enough to be able to move on from the unfairness of the world and find beauty elsewhere.”

She didn’t know why but his words did somehow make her feel better, but she still felt useless. “I’m guessing you’re going to suggest I stay here at Hogwarts if I requested to leave again.”

A twinkled appeared in his blue eyes and Dumbledore gave her an amused smile. “I believe you to be strong enough to handle it.”

“And if I’m not?”

“Then we’ll go from there,” said Dumbledore simply. “But you are wise enough to know that sometimes it is best to be alone with one’s thoughts than to risk making a situation worse by fighting through the pain and letting it fester. You rightly are a Gryffindor.”

It was that last statement that truly resonated with Hermione and cleared her head.

“I think I can do it,” said Hermione.

“I know you can,” said Dumbledore. “And remember, each passing day is one day closer to the day we figure out a way to send you home, because I will find a way for you to return.”

With that, he smiled and started to walk towards the door.

“Sir! Wait!”

Dumbledore stopped and turned back to face Hermione on the couch with a smile. “Yes, Ms. Granger?”

“How did you find me here?”

Another grin spread across his face, but this one was full of mystery. “There aren’t many things or places in this castle that I don’t know about; even if they aren’t marked on a map.”

With that last word he sent her the slightest of winks and then it hit her.

“Sir… you weren’t the one who altered… d-do you know about the…?”

But she didn’t bother finishing the sentence because the truth was written in Dumbledore’s eyes. At least that’s what she chose to believe because at that moment he gave her one last smile before turning around and walking out of the room, leaving a bewildered Hermione alone once more.

Chapter Text

Chapter 13 - An Invitation

Sirius was in a particularly good mood lately. His birthday had come and gone with a great bang as the Marauder’s threw their usual birthday bash in the common room. This one was particularly great because not only did he finally turn of age, but the party had become so epic that Professor McGonagall had shown up close to midnight in her night clothes screaming that it was still a Wednesday night and that they needed to get to bed. He was still a little disappointed that Rosemerta never snuck him a firewhiskey on their trip to Hogsmeade but Remus pointed out that, as much as she liked him, Rosemerta cared more about her pub than making school boys happy. Moony probably had a point.

He had also woken up on his birthday to a package at the foot of his bed. When he had opened it he found a white box and its contents held a gold watch with a leather band. On the face of the watch were stars and it took a second for him to realize that the stars made up the constellation Canis Major, where the star he was named after was found. He had been truly touched by the gift and it meant even more to him once he figured out that it was the Potters that had sent it to him. After all, it was a tradition to give a wizard a watch when they turned seventeen. Fleamont and Euphemia Potter had been more parents to Sirius in the past few months than his had ever been and this gift proved it. Fondness for the Potters washed over him and Sirius immediately put the watch on.

His good mood continued increasing considerably when Gryffindor won their first Quidditch game of the season. Seeing Slytherin lose always did put him in a cheerful state. But it was strange at first to see his brother as the new Slytherin seeker, but the most surprising part was seeing that he was actually quite decent. Sirius had assumed Regulus had made the team due to his status, not actually from talent, but he had been wrong. Too bad for Regulus though since the combination of James’s scoring and Gryffindor catching the snitch, even though he had to admit that it had been very close, made the Lions the ultimate victors. Still, it was weird for Sirius to watch him play because he normally went out of his way to avoid seeing his brother, but there he was seeing him on the Quidditch pitch. Sirius still struggled at times to understand how he and Regulus could be brothers but be in entirely different worlds.

But the match itself was still a blast once he got over the initial shock that he was watching his younger brother play. Yet, he had been slightly bummed that Remus couldn’t make the game due to the full moon. Quidditch never was the same when it was just Peter and him cheering James on in the stands. Although now they did have Hermione, but she didn’t seem to particularly care much for the sport, nevertheless she still willingly came.

“What on earth are you doing?” Sirius had yelled over the roaring crowd of the game when he spotted Hermione furiously taking notes in the stands. He couldn’t believe it, even when they were encouraged to have fun and watch Quidditch, Hermione was still doing bloody coursework!

She had given him a stern look over her notebook but her quill only slowed down slightly. “I’m writing down what’s happening for Remus so he can read it when he comes back! He had seemed so excited for the match!” she had yelled back over the crowd, which was cheering as James had scored another goal.

Again, Sirius couldn’t believe it. She was at a Quidditch match taking notes! Then again, Remus probably would appreciate it seeing as he was down about not being able to support James during the match.

But other than that, Sirius had noticed that Remus did seem to be in higher spirits lately. He didn’t complain as much about his Prefect duties and was more willing to help out with their assignments. The Quidditch notes also put him in a good mood as he stayed in the infirmary after the full moon, which was nice to see since he was usually full of guilt after a transformation.

Remus had had a pretty decent transformation that month, well, as decent as they can go. That’s to say he didn’t end up tearing open his shoulder like he had done last time, only minor cuts and bruises. The poor bloke was probably getting used to it. A sick part of Sirius did enjoy using Remus’s transformation as an excuse to become a dog. So the easier the full moon was on Remus the more fun Sirius usually had, even if he did feel guilty about that. But Remus was even in high spirits as he returned from the Hospital Wing just to immediately disappear again to go over what he missed with Hermione like last time. No one should be as happy as the two of them were when it came to homework and class notes.

November was now more than halfway over and Sirius was lounging back in a chair in the corner of the common room. All the seats by the fireplace had already been taken but Sirius didn’t mind, he liked this table due to it being next to one of the large windows showing the clear night sky. Peter sat beside him while they lazily gave orders to his Wizard’s Chess board. James was at a late Quidditch practice and Remus was off in the library doing Ancient Runes homework with Hermione. So that left Sirius and Peter to hang out together. Sirius had decided that his Charms essay could easily wait until Hermione and Remus returned.

“Knight to A4,” said Sirius, staring intently at the board.

His black knight slowly slid from C3 over to where one of Peter’s white rooks stood. He watched with satisfaction as his Knight pulled out its sword and struck the rook through its center, destroying it.

“Come on, Wormtail, you can do better!” said Sirius with a smirk.

But Peter seemed unfazed and smiled right back at Sirius. “Alright, Padfoot. Bishop to A4.”

The smile was wiped right off of Sirius’s face as he watched Peter’s rook go from in front of his king to crossing the board and destroying his last knight.

“Well, damn. That was well played Pettigrew,” said Sirius who was impressed.

Peter grinned and collected the pieces of Sirius’s destroyed knight from the board. “Actually Padfoot, do you think we could talk for a minute?

“Can’t it wait until after this game?” asked Sirius as he pondered his next move. “Or are you scared that I’m going to win?”

“No it can’t actually,” said Peter seriously. “I want to talk you before the others come back.”

Raising an eyebrow at his friend, Sirius sat up straighter in his chair. Peter wasn’t usually one to be so serious, and it was even stranger that he chose a time when Moony and Prongs were gone. “What’s the matter, Wormtail?”

Peter hesitated for a moment and Sirius could see how nervous he was. “How do you feel about Hermione?”

That was probably the last thing Sirius had expected Peter to say. How did he about Hermione? What was he on about?

“Blimey, mate, I thought you were going to say you were dying!” laughed Sirius, feeling a sense of relief.

“No, but really,” said Peter with wide eyes and Sirius stopped laughed.

“I don’t know, Peter,” said Sirius feeling confused at the conversation. “If you’re asking if I’d date her the answer would be no. She’s not much of a looker but she’s nice to be around.”

Peter frowned. “That’s not what I meant…”

“Ah, do you like her then?” grinned Sirius giving Peter a thumbs up.

“Merlin, no! I don’t mean how you feel about her like that!” said Peter looking horrified.

“Then what do you mean?” said Sirius, not really following.

“I dunno, I just keep going back to what James had said during our first week,” said Peter. “And then she acts all strange now and then.”

Peter did have a point. Sirius was pretty sure that Hermione had some sort of secret, but if she wasn’t willing to share it with them that wasn’t any of his business. It was probably family drama, which Sirius knew all too well about. Overall she seemed like a relatively private person. She never spoke about her past unless she was directly asked, and even then she’d simply give minor details. Sirius could only remember her talking about her old friends or even her family on rare occasions, and she always seemed to be in pain when she did.

Even if she did have a secret how bad could it be? It was probably something personal and they were in no position to judge her, especially since they were all keeping a secret much bigger than whatever Hermione’s could have been. In the end, Sirius trusted her. Sometimes he thought it would be easier to tell Hermione about Remus and his furry little problem, but he obviously knew that it was Remus’s secret to share. He doubted that Remus would ever tell her, especially since he hadn’t even told them, they had found out. It was even worse now that Remus was slightly more on edge about people finding out after the incident with Snape last year. Sirius could feel the guilt from the memory curl back through his stomach.

“Aw come off it, Peter. Prongs was just being a prat and Hermione gave him what was coming to him,” said Sirius with a grin. “Don’t let that one instance where James was suspicious make you scared, look at him now, he’s completely fine with her!”

“I just get nervous when she’s around,” said Peter with a frown.

Sirius didn’t understand why Peter could be nervous around Hermione. Sure should could probably hex the hell out of all of them but he doubted it would ever come to that, unless he really annoyed her. Honestly Sirius liked having Hermione around, and not just because she helped with homework assignments or took over taking Remus’s notes in class. Something about her seemed to fit in, like she had known them a lot longer than she had. It was almost scary how comfortable he felt around her and he knew James and Remus felt it too. Hell, he and Hermione would bicker like old friends, she was so fun to mess with. Sometimes he had to remind himself that he’s only known her two and a half months and to be careful about what he said around her so he didn’t let any of their secrets slip.

“I don’t know, mate,” said Sirius shaking his head. “She seems like a decent person so me, and I grew up around loads of bad people and I just don’t get that vibe from her.”

There was a pause and Peter nodded to himself and Sirius saw him struggling with wanting to agree with him.

“Halloween was just weird,” said Peter and Sirius had to agree.

Everything had been going fine. Hogsmeade had been loads of fun and nothing bad had happened. They were all enjoying the food at the feast and getting along when all of a sudden Sirius looked up and Hermione was paler than a ghost. It was if she had gone as stiff as a board and her brown eyes had gotten huge. Tears had started streaming down her face as she just stared at all of them before running out of the Great Hall.

When they got back to the common room and she wasn’t there Remus had insisted that they check the map and look for her but James had managed to change Remus’s mind by telling him that whatever it was, Hermione probably just needed her space. It was clear that Remus was slightly put off by this at first but he soon came around and agreed to give her some space, so the boys left the map in James’s trunk that night.

The next day Hermione’s excuse had been a lame one to Sirius. As someone who spent the past five years lying to his parents and also making up excuses for Remus’s disappearances, Sirius had gotten pretty good at knowing when someone wasn’t being entirely truthful. She had claimed that she had realized she had forgotten an important anniversary for her friend and got emotional out of guilt. That she had run out of the Great Hall to go send an immediate owl to her friend Henry before the day was over. When the four of them had seen Mary and Lily later that day they both claimed Hermione was fine when she had gotten back to the dormitory the night of Halloween so they believed her story. James and Remus were quick to believe her as well and Sirius wasn’t about to get suspicious over what was probably nothing. She seemed fine, everything had gone back to normal. But apparently Peter wasn’t buying it.

“I just don’t understand her. She gets in those moods and then just disappears and becomes distant. Remus was right, we should have looked for her on the map the night of Halloween,” said Peter. Suddenly, his eyes lit up with excitement. “We should figure out what she’s up to. An adventure for just the four of us, like the good old days!”

Sirius on the other hand, was willing to give Hermione the benefit of the doubt. Sure, maybe she did have to send a letter or maybe she did have a secret, but one thing Sirius knew was that he didn’t believe Hermione to be a danger for them and that they should keep an eye on her. And this was Sirius… he loved adventure!

“I see why you’re concerned but she hasn’t given us any reason not to trust her, Wormtail. James said it perfectly that night, we can’t just invade her privacy like that. She’s our friend,” said Sirius calmly. Although he disagreed with Peter, he didn’t want it to seem like he was choosing Hermione over him – because he wasn’t. It would always be the Marauders over everyone else. They were his friends for life, but that didn’t mean Hermione couldn’t be their friend as well.

“She doesn’t seem like she wants to be my friend,” said Peter bitterly.

A wave of sympathy rushed over Sirius as he looked at his friend, who was now crossing his arms and looking back down at the chess board. There were definitely times when Sirius suspected Hermione had less than friendly feelings towards Peter but he didn’t understand why. Peter probably didn’t think Hermione was dangerous or hiding anything, if anything he seemed jealous that the rest of his friends hung out with her when he didn’t necessarily get along with her. And he had just said he wanted to go on an adventure like the good old days with just the four of them. He was feeling left out.

“Yeah, you don’t seem to have the best relationship,” agreed Sirius. “Maybe you need to try harder. The only reasons she even started talking to us was because me, James, and Remus put ourselves out there. Hell, we were pretty annoying to be honest! You just need to show her the side of Peter Pettigrew that we all know and love.”

Peter seemed to perk up at that and he even smiled again. “You think so?”

“Yeah, why not? It’s worth a shot isn’t it?” grinned Sirius.

“Alright…” said Peter, not sounding entirely convinced.

“Look, Peter,” said Sirius leaning towards him and grinning. “She might be our friend but you’re one of us! A Marauder! It will always be Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. To the very end.”

“You really mean that?” asked Peter with a smile.

“Absolutely,” said Sirius, and he did mean it. He meant every word. “Now let me finish whooping you in Wizard’s Chess.”

“Deal,” grinned Peter.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

“You know, when I read the first few ingredients for this potion I assumed it would smell nicer,” said Hermione as she pinched her nose with one hand while using the other to stir the cauldron at her, Lily, and Mary’s potions station.

They were in their second half of double potions and to her surprise she was having fun. The longer she was in the 70s, the more she realized that she didn’t dislike potions lessons nearly as much during this time as she did her own, she actually enjoyed it. Professor Slughorn encouraged people to work together so there was a very lively atmosphere in the room and instead of putting his students down he would praise people who did well. The praise caused Hermione to thrive in class and do better in potions than she had ever done before.

“Boom berry juice, honeywater, and mint definitely were misleading ingredients,” agreed Mary with a grimace as she measured out Horklunk juice into a pint. “Maybe they should have listed sloth brain mucus or billywig sting slime first so my hopes wouldn’t have been so high.”

Hermione gave a short laugh before quickly closing her mouth so she didn’t inhale the smell.

“It sure doesn’t smell very pleasant at all,” said Lily. She crinkled her nose as she added the crushed chizpurfle fangs to the boiling cauldron in front of them.

“That would probably be the stewed mandrake,” said Mary pointing to the soggy wet lump of a plant at their workstation. “I was so excited to learn the Wiggenweld potion too. I’ve wanted to make it since I was a child.”

“Why since you were a child?” asked Hermione as she reread the directions for the potion in her copy of Advanced Potion-Making to make sure everything was perfect. “Did you know someone who had drunken the Draught of Living Death and needed a Wiggenweld potion to wake them up?

“No, silly. Because of the story of the prince who woke the sleeping princess with it,” laughed Mary. “It was one of my favorite stories growing up.”

“I don’t know that one,” said Lily as she began to prepare the stewed mandrake with the honeywater.

“Really?” said Mary with wide eyes.

“Neither do I,” said Hermione, slightly bothered by the fact that she didn’t know the tale. “Lily and I didn’t grow up with magical children’s stories.”

“Sometimes I forget that the both of you were raised by muggles…” said Mary, shaking her head slightly. “It’s about an old hag named Leticia Somnolens who was jealous of a king’s daughter. So one day she tricked the girl into pricking her finger on a spindle that had been laced with the Draught of Living Death, which obviously sent her into a deep sleep. But then the prince shows up, puts the Wiggenweld potion on his lips, and kisses the princess awake! It’s all very romantic.”

Hermione saw Lily snickering to herself as Mary waited for their reaction to the story.

“So… Sleeping Beauty?” said Lily with a grin and Hermione laughed.

“What’s a sleeping beauty?” asked Mary looking puzzled.

“Oh nothing,” grinned Lily and Mary shrugged.

“I don’t know anyone who would want to put this on their lips, let alone kiss anyone with it!” said Hermione, adding more ingredients. “It smells absolutely foul and not at all romantic.”

Across the room there was commotion and Hermione looked over just in time to see a sloth brain speeding through the air. It struck Mulciber in the back of the head with a sickening squishing sound before dropping to the dungeon floor with a plop. The room erupted into laughter and Mulciber turned around, his eyes like daggers, as he, Avery, and Snape looked for the culprit.

It didn’t take long for Mulciber to find out who had thrown it. Sirius was sitting two tables behind him with James and was in a fit of laughter.

“Mister Black!” said Slughorn as he rushed over to Sirius and James’s table looking aghast. “How do you expect to finish your Wiggenweld potion when your sloth brain is over at Mister Mulciber’s table?”

Sirius flashed an innocent grin. “I got all the mucus I needed from it, sir. I thought I’d help my fellow classmates out since my sloth brain seemed extra mucusy today. You know, spread the wealth.”

James was grinning into his fist and looking down at the table, trying not to laugh. At the table next to them Remus and Peter were snickering silently while trying to work on their own potion.

Slughorn sighed and rubbed his temples. “You know what I’m about to say, Mister Black…”

“Yeah yeah,” said Sirius. Hermione could see him grinning. “I’ll meet you at our usual time for my detention tonight.”

“Right,” sighed Slughorn, clearly not pleased that he had to hold a detention. He turned to face the three Slytherin boys. “Mister Mulciber, you may want to clean yourself up, you’re going to smell downright awful!”

Mulciber’s eyes flashed and he glared at Sirius again as Slughorn walked away. He mouthed I’ll get you for that before walking to the sinks in the back of the stone room. Hermione started to get nervous for Sirius but he didn’t seem bothered. He had turned to James and began to mimic Mulciber’s threat as soon as he couldn’t see them.

Hermione caught James’s eye from across the room and he held his palms up as if he were saying “what can you do?” causing her to try to hide her own smirk.

As Hermione was about to look back down at her potion she caught someone else’s eye. Peter was staring directly at her but there was something weird going on with his face… Was he smiling at her? Even stranger yet, he gave her a friendly wave and Hermione mechanically waved in return, taken aback at the unusual encounter. Peter and Hermione didn’t openly dislike each other… but neither were they particularly friendly to one another either. He had acted strange since her outburst at Halloween and she couldn’t blame him, but maybe he had finally bought her story like the others had done so easily. She gave her head a little shake and brought her attention back to her potion.

The Wiggenweld potion wasn’t a particularly difficult potion but there were so many steps and ingredients that had to be accounted for which made it easy to make an error. Mary and Lily spent most of the time gathering what they needed while Hermione was carefully following the instructions so she brewed it perfectly. By the time Hermione had finished the potion the smell wasn’t nearly as awful as it was when they started. It still didn’t smell good, but now it almost smelled like nothing which the three girls greatly preferred.

Hermione was quite proud of the green potion that sat in front of them as Slughorn made his rounds around the room. When he approached Lily, Hermione, and Mary’s station he broke into a grin.

“Well done, ladies! I’m sure this Wiggenweld potion would wake someone even in the deepest of sleeps!” beamed Slughorn. He looked at Lily. “Lily, this is easily the best potion of the class, as always, you have beaten my expectations.”

“Oh, I can’t take credit for it this time, Professor,” said Lily with a smile. “Hermione did most of the brewing.”

Mary nodded in agreement and Professor Slughorn looked shocked before turning towards Hermione.

“Excellent Miss Dawson! I think that deserves Gryffindor five points,” said Slughorn, grinning beneath his great walrus-like mustache. “There must have been a fine instructor over at Beauxbatons!”

As he complimented her, Hermione could feel her face flush with pride. “Thank you very much, sir.”

“You are very welcome,” said Slughorn. “I am very impressed, you seem to have what it takes to truly be a masterful potion brewer. The three of you ladies make a wonderful team!”

When class ended Hermione hung back as Lily and Mary left so she could talk to the Marauders who were still packing up. Most of the class had already gone except Mulciber, Avery, and Snape who were busy cleaning up the sloth brain that Sirius had thrown at them.

“Nice job with the potion, Hermione,” said James as Hermione approached his station. He was grinning as he stuck his copy of Advanced Potion-Making into his bag. “You always do manage to get us more points.”

Hermione smiled at the compliment. “Well someone has to make up the points that this one loses.”

She pointed at Sirius and he grinned at her as he finished up wiping down his work station.

“If you didn’t notice, I didn’t actually lose us any points today,” said Sirius cheekily, grabbing his books.

Hermione rolled her eyes and snorted. “Oh but landing yourself in your third detention this week is any better? I don’t know how you do it.”

A shape walked up from behind Hermione and rested their hand on her shoulder. She turned to see a grinning Remus leaning slightly diagonally due the weight of his schoolbag. Peter was trailing behind him.

Hermione grinned up at Remus as he leaned on her.

“It takes a certain talent to get in that much trouble,” said Remus with a nod.

“And you lot will never know how exhausting it is to put so much effort into the art of troublemaking,” said Sirius. “Now let’s get out of here, it still smells like feet.”

The five of them exited the potions classroom and entered the long, dark, and stone dungeon corridor. As they were walking towards the staircase to take them out of the dungeon Hermione caught Peter’s eye again and he sent her another smile. The smile made Hermione want to curse him but she knew better. So he wanted to be friends now? Hermione forced a smile on her lips to humor him before increasing her pace so she was walking beside Remus and could no longer see Peter.

They hadn’t even gotten halfway down the cold corridor when Hermione heard a door slam behind them. It was loud and echoed through the windowless stone hallway and caused Hermione’s head to snap backwards.

“BLACK!” yelled Mulciber who was rushing towards them, looking absolutely furious. Snape and Avery were on his tail but further back.

Everything happened so fast. Mulciber whipped out his wand and waved it. There was a flash of light and Sirius let out a startled yelp as he fell hard to the cold stone floor. It was as if an invisible rope had been tied to his feet and then yanked.

Peter went to grab Sirius while James and Remus immediately pulled their wands out to defend their fallen best friend… but Hermione was quicker.

“Obscuro!” she yelled as she pointed her wand directly at Mulciber. She hadn’t known why that was the first spell that popped into her head but it seemed to be effective.

A thick dark blindfold appeared and began to wrap itself around Mulciber’s head, covering his eyes and leaving him blinded. Hermione saw Sirius clambered back to his feet and watched in shock as Mulciber lost his balance and fell over.

Hermione made a move towards the staircase, hoping the others would follow but changed her mind as she saw Mulciber get back to his feet. It didn’t take long for him to rip off the blindfold and change his aim directly to her.

Rage boiled through Hermione as she thought back to the story of Mulciber cursing and almost killing Mary during her previous year. Mulciber was known for dark curses and she wasn’t going to let that happen to her or any of her friends.

Mulciber was probably a fair dueler but after a year of being in Dumbledore’s Army, Hermione’s reaction time was faster so she had the upper hand. She thought back to the lessons Harry had taught and remembered the perfect jinx that he had taught them.

Before Mulciber even opened his mouth, or any of the Marauders could react, Hermione shouted, “Impedimenta!”

A turquoise beam of light shot from her wand and struck Mulciber in his chest. Hermione hadn’t meant for the spell to be as strong as it was and Mulciber’s body froze and he was thrown backwards through the air. He had been thrown so hard that once he hit the stone floor he slid a few meters before coming to a stop in front of the entrance to the potion’s classroom.

Snape and Avery now had their wands out and were rushing towards them. Thinking that maybe she should have just blocked Mulciber, fear took over Hermione’s rage as she noticed that the Marauders all had their wands out too. A fight seemed inevitable.

But at that moment the door to the potion’s classroom opened up and Professor Slughorn stepped out into the corridor looking alarmed. Hermione had never seen people drop their wands to their sides so quickly.

“My word! What in Merlin’s name is going on out here?” said Slughorn sounding astonished.

Avery apparently saw this as the perfect time to run. He darted in the other direction, past Slughorn and Mulciber, with Snape quickly followed suit, as they ran farther into the dungeons, most likely headed towards the Slytherin common room.

Mulciber, who was still on the ground recovering from the jinx, laid his eyes directly on Hermione and pointed in her direction.

Almost immediately, the Marauders jumped to Hermione’s defense, and to Hermione’s surprise that included Peter. It was chaos as they all spoke at once, but Hermione stayed silent.

“It wasn’t Hermione’s fault!” said James.

“This was all Mulciber’s doing,” said Remus.

“Mulciber attacked me when my back was turned!” said Sirius.

“He was going to attack him again,” said Peter.

“But Hermione stopped him!” said James.

“He was going to attack Hermione…” said Remus.

“Do you seriously believe Hermione Dawson would just attack someone without a reason?” said Sirius.

“Honestly Professor, it was in self-defense,” said Remus.

“You have to believe us!” said James.

Slughorn held up his hand. “Really, now! There’s no need for all this ruckus.”

The boys quieted down as Slughorn turned to Mulciber who had been wearing a smug look but quickly began to feign injury.

“Mister Mulciber, why don’t you head to the infirmary and have Madam Pomfrey patch you up,” said Slughorn.

Mulciber slowly got to his feet and began to walk down the long corridor. When he got close to them he sent Hermione and the boys another smug smirk before walking right in between their group to get past them.

“Miss Dawson, can you come into my office please?” said Slughorn.

Hermione turned to look at the boys and they all wore worried looks on their faces. “It’s fine, I’ll meet you in the common room after,” said Hermione with a weary smile.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to wait?” asked Remus. “We can explain to Professor Slughorn what happened…”

She shook her head. “Thanks Remus, but I’ll be fine. I don’t know how long this will take.”

“If you’re sure…” said Remus, not looking convinced.

Taking a deep breath, Hermione turned her back on her friends and began to walk back down the corridor towards Professor Slughorn. The walk felt like a thousand years and dreadful thoughts popped into Hermione’s head.

What if I end up in detention for the rest of the year? What if he tries to write my parents but there’s none to write to? What if they expel me for fighting?

A lump formed in her throat at that last thought and she felt a chill tingle down her spine. If she were expelled where would she go? It would ruin everything, she’d have to go into isolation until Dumbledore found a way to send her back to her own time. Maybe he’d let her stay in the Room of Requirements… She had gone back to the room she had created a few times since Halloween to either be alone with her thoughts or have a quiet place to study when the Marauders got too bothersome. It probably wouldn’t be so horrible having to live there, especially since it would always accommodate her needs, except for food.

She took another deep breath as she followed Slughorn to a door adjacent to the potions room. Inside was a small, cramped, and windowless office. It resembled a rather large broom cupboard, but a cupboard nonetheless. Slughorn’s desk lay squished between shelves of books, potion instruments, and ingredients. Once inside, Slughorn closed the door behind her and wobbled to his chair.

“Take a seat, Miss Dawson,” said Slughorn. Hermione swore she saw a twinkle in his eye as he said this.

Silently, Hermione sat in the old armchair that was opposite Slughorn and folded her hands in her lap. She didn’t know where to look so she settled on his desk. A serpent hourglass caught her eye and quickly drew in her attention. It was peculiar, there was sand in both the top and bottom glass vessel but none of it was passing through.

“Ah, where to even begin!” mused Slughorn, stroking his great mustache.

At Slughorn’s words, Hermione’s attention was taken away from the hourglass and she focused on her short and bald professor. She took a third and final deep breath. “Look Professor, I am so sorry about what happened with Mulciber. My actions were completely unacceptable—”

“Sorry?” said Slughorn cutting her off, and to Hermione’s confusion he began to laugh. “What on earth do you have to be sorry for?”

Hermione blinked. “I-I’m not sure I’m following, sir…”

She noticed a slight movement from his desk and looked back at the hourglass. The sand had started to move.

“I saw the whole thing from the peephole in the door, Miss Dawson. That was some deeply remarkable wand work!” said Slughorn, drawing her attention back to him. “I have to say, this is now the second time I’ve been impressed with your skills today.”

Hermione was at a loss for words. He was… praising her for attacking another student? And one who was in his house as well! Was this all a joke?

“I’ve also come to hear that you’re at the top of your other classes as well,” said Slughorn with a grin.

“Am I in trouble, sir?” asked Hermione. She was deeply confused at why he was complimenting her instead of calling McGonagall or Dumbledore to have her expelled.

“In trouble? Of course not!” said Slughorn with another laugh. “If anything I say you should be rewarded for such savvy spellcasting while protecting yourself and classmates.”

“Um… thank you, sir?” blinked Hermione. She didn’t want to say anything else and push her luck.

Slughorn sat up straighter in his chair before leaning on his desk and getting closer to Hermione. “Say… how would you feel about coming to my club next week?”

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

“You have to go!” beamed Lily. “We can go to the next one together!”

Hermione was back in the Gryffindor common room. It was nearing dinner time so it was mostly empty which had allowed the Marauder’s, Lily, and Mary to secure seats on the couch and armchairs by the roaring fire.

Apparently as soon as Hermione had gone into Slughorn’s office the boys had rushed up to Gryffindor tower to tell Lily and Mary what had happened. The six of them had taken it upon themselves to wait for her to return to the common room to hear the verdict.

“The Slug Club is lame,” said Sirius and Lily sent him a nasty look. “What? It’s true!”

“Says someone who’s never been,” she retorted.

“Hey, I’ve been invited to go,” said Sirius defensively. “I’ve just chosen not to.”

“Really, Sirius?” asked Hermione, slightly impressed. From what she had heard so far was that Slughorn only asked the best of the best to be a member of what he called “The Slug Club.”

“Oh yes, there was something about my last name being Black and having a long historical family background that intrigued him,” said Sirius, rolling his eyes. “But I kept ignoring his invitations and once my brother arrived he stopped sending them to me and started sending them to him.”

“Slughorn asked me to go too,” said James with a smirk.

Now it was Lily’s turn to be surprised. “Did he really? Why haven’t you gone?”

James shrugged. “I actually went to the first meeting during our first year but it was downright boring so I never went back.”

Lily raised an eyebrow. “You were invited straight away? I didn’t get asked to join until the end of second year.”

“He invited me because he knew my father invented the Sleekeazy's Hair Potion,” said James casually. “I bet he thought I would inherit my father’s potion making skills but he must have been very disappointed at how unbelievable average I am when it comes to potions.”

Hermione’s jaw dropped. “Your father is the one who invented Sleekeazy's Hair Potion?” asked Hermione in astonishment. She thought back to how she managed to make her hair so straight and lovely for the Yule ball in her fourth year. “I’ve used that!”

James gave a humble grin. “That would be thanks to my dad.”

“You’d think the son of a man who created a potion to control unruly hair would at least have nice hair,” said Sirius with a snort. He reached over and messed James’s hair up even more that it already had been. “But nope, it always looks like a tornado hit his head.”

A laugh came from Remus next to her on the couch and Hermione grinned as well. Sirius certainly had a point.

“But getting back to the Slug Club,” said Lily, ignoring the boys. “You really should go. In the past, the people he’s chosen to be in his club have all gone on to do great things!”

“I still can’t believe you jinxed Mulciber,” said Mary, smiling and shaking her head, completely oblivious to the conversation that was already happening. “Brilliant.”

“You should have seen it, Mary,” said Peter, his eyes almost popping out of his head from thinking about the exciting memory. “He must have flown back twenty feet!”

“No way!”

“Where did you even learn to duel like that,” said James, looking intrigued.

“I was in a Defense club last year,” said Hermione simply, not wanting to go further into Dumbledore’s Army. Obviously she couldn’t tell him that his future son had taught her and many others in an illegal organization.

But James just accepted that and grinned. “Cool."

Lily didn’t seem to want the subject changed. “Pretty please, Hermione?” she said and she gave Hermione her sweetest smile.

“I don’t know, Lily…” said Hermione as she ignored the conversation about the altercation after class that Peter and Mary had started on the side. She didn’t really want to talk about the Mulciber incident because she felt bad, she shouldn’t have let her anger get the best of her like that. She needed to have better control if she had to stay here.

“I’d really rather not go alone,” said Lily. The smile fell from her face and her green eyes were pleading. “I blew off last month’s meeting because I didn’t want to have to face Severus alone… he goes, you know. It would mean a lot to me if you went. I really love the meetings, I’m sure you will too!”

Hermione scrunched up her face as she thought about it. What could be the harm of going?

“I think you should go, Hermione,” said Remus kindly. “It could be a great experience and Lily is right, lots of influential people started out in Slughorn’s club while at Hogwarts. If you don’t like it you don’t have to go back. But then again the decision is entirely up to you, don’t just go because I said that.”

He gave her a crooked smile and Hermione couldn’t help but trust his judgement agree with him

“Alright, I’ll go,” said Hermione to Lily with a smile.

“Yay!” squealed Lily and she clapped her hands together and beamed. “This will be so much fun!”

“Not to cut this celebration short,” said Sirius, who was looking down at his watch, “but we should probably head to dinner before it ends. I’m starved, and let’s not forget, I have a date with old Sluggy after dinner.”

“Alright let’s go,” said James and he stood up for the armchair he had been sitting in. He started to pat his stomach. “I really worked up an appetite watching Hermione absolutely destroy Mulciber earlier.”

There was scattered laughter and Hermione gave a weak smile. The group began to get up and starting making their way to the portrait hole.

As Hermione made her way to follow the rest, Remus stopped her and held her back.

“That was really cool what you did for Sirius,” said Remus. There was a slight twinkle in his eye as he smiled at her. “He really owes you now.”

“Sirius always owes me, especially since I constantly help him with assignments,” laughed Hermione. “I am surprised though that you aren’t telling me not to fight students, you are a prefect after all.”

She grinned up at him and he laughed. “I’ve never been the best at being a prefect in the past, why bother to start now?”

Hermione playfully hit his arm. “Oh stop it,” she said, rolling her eyes. “But you are right, Sirius definitely owes me.”

The portrait hole swung open and the head of Sirius appeared. “Come on you two, we’re starving here!”

His head disappeared again and Remus chuckled. “That’s our cue.”

Remus walked over to the entrance to the common room and crawled through the portrait. Hermione was right behind him, ready to go to dinner with her friends.

Chapter Text

Chapter 14 - A Sluggy Party

Hermione looked around the table feeling uncomfortable. She had agreed to go to Slughorn’s club with Lily and now they were in one of the unused classrooms in the dungeons, since Slughorn’s office was far too small to fit all of them. There were nine other students sitting around the circular wooden table that had been set up in the middle of the stone room, which was laid out with different dessert items. She sat between Lily and a quiet boy with glasses named Adrian who she recognized as one of the Ravenclaw boys in her year.

She wasn’t really bothered by the club and could see why Lily enjoyed it. Members from all the houses were there and most of the conversations were actually quiet friendly and nice. Although Slughorn did like asking about people’s families, as if trying to see who had the most impressive lineage, which is what the conversation had turned into. Hermione was quietly eating her chocolate ice cream and looking around awkwardly as she took in each student’s bragging as they tried to impress Slughorn the most, waiting for the inevitable moment that he’d get to her.

Michelle Pickett, who was sitting on the other side of Lily, saw Hermione’s bemused expression and chuckled quietly to herself, causing Hermione to grin. She had been pleased to find out that Michelle had also been invited to the club. It was nice to have another familiar and friendly face she could lean on for support at the club when she did not know most of the students there. Beside Michelle sat the only other Hufflepuff in the club, a fifth year, Dirk Cresswell, who Hermione remembered to have worked at the Ministry during her time with Mr. Weasley.

The rest of the table seemed to be split by house as well, whether it was on purpose or a coincidence but everyone was grouped together, even if everyone in the club did seem to get along. Across from Hermione was Snape, Regulus, and a seventh year Slytherin who was introduced as Evan Rosier, who Hermione knew to be the Death Eater who blasted off parts of Mad-Eye Moody’s nose and was later killed by him. Hermione had never seen him in her time, as he had died shortly after she was born, and she had expected to see someone who appeared “evil” but he seemed relatively normal looking, except for the shifty gleam in his eyes and sly smile that made her slightly uneasy. 

On the other side of Adrian were two other Ravenclaws, A fourth year that Hermione had never seen before named Theresa Belcher and a small looking third year named Wendy Slinkhard. The name rang a bell with Hermione but she couldn’t place it.

Slughorn was sitting between Wendy and Regulus across the table and was talking animatedly to Theresa while Wendy seemed to shrink in her chair as the two talked over the small girl.

“Now Theresa,” said Slughorn eagerly to the brunette Ravenclaw. “What exactly does your uncle plan to accomplish with this invention?”

The girl smiled slightly and sat up straighter in her chair. “Uncle Humphrey believes it will be very accomplished overall. He says it will revolutionize the food industry.”

Whether it was because they were talking about food, or maybe it was the fame and success that was being talked about, Slughorn had a hungry look in his eyes and he seemed to lean closer towards the Ravenclaw girl. Poor little Wendy Slinkhard seemed to get even smaller.

“Now this is intriguing. What is his major selling point?” asked Slughorn, his walrus mustache moving up and down with each word.

“Well people are always looking for new and creative ways to eat,” explained Theresa. “Take cauldron cakes for example. If that works why not Cheese Cauldrons? Uncle Humphrey believes they will really take off because people can just eat them or make soup in them and then eat them, saving cleanup time. And they come in all different types of cheeses!”

Hermione, on the other hand, thought this was a ridiculous idea. She had never heard of Cheese Cauldrons in her time so she assumed that Theresa’s uncle was not very successful.

“Fascinating!” exclaimed Slughorn, and Theresa looked pleased at this reaction.

“I can have him send you one if you’d like, Sir,” said Theresa with a smile.

“That would be wonderful, thank you, Theresa!” said Slughorn, and he took a swig out of his goblet. “Now! Let’s here from Miss Dawson!”

Hermione raised her eyebrow and waited for the question, having a good idea where this was going.

“Now no need to be shy my dear girl!” said Slughorn with a grin, misinterpreting Hermione’s silence. He looked around the table at the ten of them. “If you guys hadn’t known by now, Miss Hermione Dawson transferred here from Beauxbatons Academy of Magic at the start of term, but that’s not just why she’s here. I’ve invited her to our little club because she is not only very talented at potions but also a very skilled duelist!”

Hermione glanced towards the Slytherins sitting across from her and caught Snape and Rosier sneering at the comment while Regulus seemed uninterested.

Slughorn didn’t wait for a response before continuing. “I must say, I have also heard from the other professors that you are quite talented in all of your subjects! Beauxbatons must give a spectacular education!”

Lily nudged Hermione and beamed at her with pride gleaming in her eyes. Moved by this subtle gesture, Hermione smiled back before returning her gaze to Slughorn.

“Oh, well I did learn a lot from my professors,” said Hermione, still smiling and ignoring the looks from Snape and Rosier. “But I do feel like I’ve learned a lot here as well.”

“And modest!” chuckled Slughorn. “Was it hard adjusting to a new school? It must have been quite a shock coming here after spending five years at another school with a completely different culture!”

“It was surprisingly easier than I thought,” said Hermione truthfully.

Slughorn nodded as he took this in and stroked his mustache. “And your family is supportive of you coming here I take it?”

Hermione swallowed and tried to hide the sudden breath she had to take. And there it was. She had a feeling he would bring them up but she didn’t realize how much she didn’t want to talk about her family, especially to a room of strangers.

“They were very excited for me to attend Hogwarts. Once they were informed of its great status they were thrilled,” said Hermione, again telling the truth but trying to stay vague.

Hermione went into the made-up story she had told her fellow Gryffindors, about how she had ended up at Beauxbatons and why she transferred to Hogwarts due to her family moving while trying to run their own dentistry office.

“Ah yes!” said Slughorn, looking impressed. “It is even more remarkable that you are muggle-born!”

Most people at the table did not seem to be surprised by this announcement but she got two pairs of eyes staring at her; a piercing glare from Rosier and a curious glance from Dirk Cresswell.

“And what exactly are ‘dentists’ in the muggle-world?” asked Slughorn with great curiosity. “Is it a dangerous profession?”

Hermione was taken aback by the question and had to stifle a laugh. “Oh, not quite. No, I wouldn’t say it’s dangerous. They tend to people’s teeth to make sure they are clean and healthy.”

A snort came from across the table and Rosier quickly tried to cover it up by coughing. Slughorn did not miss it though.

“Mister Rosier, I have asked you to leave before and I am not against doing it again,” sighed Slughorn. Hermione was actually surprised that he stood up for her against a member of his own house.

Rosier slumped down in his chair and pursed his lips. “Yes , Sir,” he mumbled before giving an annoyed look towards Snape.

“Especially so close to our Christmas party!” added in Slughorn, whose tone had turned very enthusiastic.

The mood in the room all of a sudden changed and the other students soon began to talk to one another excitedly while Hermione looked back at Slughorn for an explanation.

“Ah! Of course you don’t know yet, Hermione, but every year I host a Christmas party for my best students and their dates,” said Slughorn. “It’s a wonderful chance for everyone to dress to impress, and also impress because some of my alumni like to come as well.”

“Oh, it sounds fun, Sir,” said Hermione with a smile, not sure if she believed her own words.

“Very fun indeed!” beamed Slughorn. “You will be getting an owl soon with the details.”

The clock on the wall behind him chimed and he looked around. “Goodness… is that the time already? I guess we’ll end our meeting here for today. I shall see you all soon!”

The room was soon filled with the sound of scrapping chairs as the eleven on them began to stand up and gather their things. Soon, Hermione was following Lily and Michelle out of the room and into the cool dungeons.

“You’ll have a blast at the party, Hermione,” said Michelle as they walked. Beside her Lily nodded in agreement. “It really is nice to have an excuse to dress up and just have fun.”

“And,” added Lily. “Like Slughorn said, he really does invite alumni, and some of them are really great connections to have.”

The two girls took turns telling Hermione their favorite parts of the Christmas party as they continued to walk. The sound of feet quickly hitting the stone floor behind her made Hermione turn as she saw Dirk Cresswell running towards them.

“Hey, Michelle, wait up!” he called, waving his arm slightly.

The three girls stopped and waited for the fifth year Hufflepuff to reach them. When he got close he slowed his pace, his breath quick, but he grinned when he got to them.

“Sorry, Dirk,” said Michelle with an apologetic smile. “I got so caught up telling Hermione about the party that I completely forgot to wait for you.”

Dirk shrugged and grinned again. “It happens.” He turned his attention to Hermione and he stuck his hand out and Hermione shook it. “It’s nice to meet you Hermione, it’s always good to know other muggle-born students that I can talk to about things happening outside of magic and Hogwarts.”

Hermione raised her eyebrows, not entirely knowing what to say about that. “Oh, well it’s nice to meet you too.”

“Ah look, the three mudblood slug clubbers and a blood traitor,” said a voice, and Hermione saw Rosier and Snape approaching, with Regulus trailing behind them.

Dirk’s smile fell from his face. “That’s a cruel thing to say, Evan.”

Rosier ignored him. “It’s just what that abhorrent club needed, more filth. As if I was looking for more reasons to not go anymore. Wouldn’t you agree, lads?”

Snape muttered his agreement and Regulus gave a stiff nod of his head, looking as if he wanted to be anywhere other than there. Hermione caught Lily staring at Snape looking hurt, there was almost a pleading look in her eyes as he refused to look at her.

“No one is making you go,” said Michelle, crossing her arms.

“And your common room is in the other direction,” said Dirk, pointing down the dungeon corridor. There was a tired look on his face. “Don’t you have literally anything better to do?”

At this, Regulus gave his full attention to them for the first time. He quietly considered the situation before speaking. “Guys, let’s just go. It’s late and I really don’t need another detention for being out after curfew.”

Snape sent him a nasty look, a look similarly to the one he saved for Sirius. Hermione had wondered how he could hate Sirius so much but hang out with his brother, and the answer to that seemed to be that Snape didn’t seem to particularly like either of them. Rosier on the other hand looked at Regulus and gave a sharp nod.

“Good thinking, Regulus, plus I don’t feel like taking another shower tonight but if we stay around this filth any longer I may have to.”

The three boys turned on their heels and stalked down the corridor.

Dirk turned back to look at Hermione. “They’re not usually that nasty,” he said, moving his hand through his light brown hair. “But lately they’ve seemed more on edge. It’s best to ignore them.”

The four of the made their way out of the dungeons and continued to discuss the upcoming party, but Lily stayed relatively quiet, looking slightly somber. It was mostly Dirk and Michelle leading the conversation. When they reached the entrance hall, Michelle and Dirk waved goodbye as they headed towards the Hufflepuff common room and Hermione and Lily quietly made their way to Gryffindor tower.

When they entered the common room, Hermione noticed the boys sitting by the fireplace. James was sitting in an armchair while Remus and Sirius were on the couch, and Peter was sitting on the floor by Sirius, leaning backwards against the couch, as all the other armchairs by the fire were taken.

Lily sent the boys a weak smile and waved slightly.

“I’m actually going to go to bed early,” said Lily to Hermione. She could see Lily’s eyes had begun to get wet again and Lily quickly made her way across the common room and up the stairs to the dormitories.

“Is everything alright with Lily?” asked Remus as Hermione approached where they were sitting.

Hermione squeezed herself in between Remus and Sirius on the couch, causing both boys to try to squirm to the sides to make more room. Eventually Remus had to settle by putting his arm behind Hermione to make the most room.

With a shrug, Hermione shook her head. “Evan Rosier, that shifty looking Slytherin, called me, Lily, and Dirk Cresswell mudbloods and Snape agreed with him and I think that hurt Lily. She was probably expecting him to defend her.”

“I could hex him,” said James angrily.

“James, you’ve already had detention twice this week, you need to be more careful,” warned Hermione. “It’s honestly no big deal.”

“We’ve always wanted to break our record, eh Prongs?” grinned Sirius. “Ow!”

Hermione had elbowed him in the ribs. Remus also groaned slightly.

“Not too much room on the couch to be doing that, Hermione,” he said with a pained smirk as he used his other arm to rub his side as well.

“Sorry!”

“At least Rosier is graduating soon,” said Peter. “Then we won’t have to deal with him anymore.”

They all agreed to that.

“So how was the Slug Club?” asked James.

“It actually wasn’t awful,” said Hermione. “You made it sound like a terrible time but it was a nice being there with Lily and Michelle Pickett. I also met Dirk Cresswell from Hufflepuff and he seems very nice. He even stood up to the Slytherins for us.”

“Ah, yes Dirk is very outgoing,” said Remus with a flat tone and Hermione raised her eyebrow at him. “What? He’s nice, that’s all I meant.”

“Was my brother there?” asked Sirius. He had an accusational look in his eyes.

“Yes, he was sitting with Rosier and Snape but he didn’t really seem like he wanted to be there. He seemed fine when he was talking to Slughorn but for the rest of the time he was quiet and seemed… well… bored,” said Hermione. “I also got the feeling that he doesn’t particularly like Snape or Rosier, and Snape does not seem to like him.”

A look of shock actually spread across Sirius’s face. “Interesting… not about the bored and quiet part… Regulus is usually quiet, he likes to gather information and observe what is going on around him rather than share. But it’s pretty interesting if he doesn’t like Rosier and Snape.”

Hermione shrugged. “Well do you know what is interesting? Slughorn is throwing a Christmas party. It’s formal attire so I’ll have to figure something out…”

Sirius groaned. “The annual exclusive Slug Club Christmas party that only his favorites are allowed to attend.”

James laughed from his armchair. “You’d probably be invited if you didn’t keep turning down his invitations to the actual club, Padfoot.”

Sirius grinned. “Same to you, Prongs. But you couldn’t pay me enough Galleons to go.”

“I’ve never even been invited,” grumbled Peter.

“Don’t worry, Peter,” said Remus sympathetically. “Neither have I, and I doubt I ever will.”

“Oh don’t sell yourself short, Remus,” said Hermione warmly. “Slughorn should have every reason to want you to go.”

All of a sudden a wave of tiredness hit Hermione and she let out a large yawn. She knew it had been getting late but she hadn’t realized how tired she was getting. With her eyes shut, she shook her head slightly as another yawn came. She blinked a few times and looked around at the boys staring at her, looking amused.

“Maybe it’s time for you to go to bed, Hermione,” said Remus with his crooked smile, looking at her fondly.

“Yes, maybe…” said Hermione as she yawned again. “I’ll see you all tomorrow then.”

As the boys said their goodbyes, Hermione made her way to the staircase to the girls’ dormitories, ready to crawl into her warm bed.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

One day during the second week of December, the school had woken up to see the grounds covered in layers of pure white snow. Glistening icicles were hangings outside the windows, reflecting the winter sun throughout the castle. Every fireplace throughout Hogwarts was lit, creating a cozy warmness throughout the school, except for the occasional cool draft in the dungeons.

Christmas was rapidly approaching and it was one of Hermione’s favorite times of the year to be at Hogwarts. There was just something so comforting about being in the beautiful castle as it was being decorated for the holidays. The staircases had silver garlands wrapped around the banisters along with everlasting icicles that seemed to sparkle with ever step you took. Wherever she went, suits of armor were singing Christmas carols and even Peeves would join in, although it was usually to change the lyrics to something rude. The Great Hall was still in the process of being decorated by the prefects and staff but even then it was by far the most impressive room with its twelve Christmas trees and dry snow that was charmed to fall from the enchanted ceiling.

Lily and Mary had tried to bring the Christmas cheer to their dormitory and had wrapped all of the bed posts in fir and holly garlands. Poinsettias were placed on the windowsill and Lily had created some sort of potion that would change scents throughout the day, alternating between cinnamon apple, pine, peppermint, gingerbread, and cranberries. She kept the potion in the heating stove in the center of the dormitory and the room never failed to smell like Christmas. They told Hermione that it was a tradition that the two of them had every year to make it feel homier near the holidays. Lily and Mary had given Hermione the final task of hanging the wreath on their door, welcoming her into their tradition.

Hermione had to agree that she had never felt more at home in the dormitory. It was why she had decided to work on her transfigurations essays from the comforts of her own bed rather than her usual spot in the library. In her time it was rare that the dormitory was ever empty, but here it was a lot more likely by having only two roommates. Mary was with friends and Lily had to go with the other prefects to decorate the Great Hall so Hermione welcomed the solitude and comfort that the empty dormitory gave her.

She had a few hours to herself before Lily returned to the dormitory and smiled when she spotted Hermione. She looked slightly disheveled and had pieces of garland and holly in her auburn hair but she still seemed happy as she carried a brown package in her arms.

Hermione laid down her textbook and gave Lily a questioning smile. “What happened to you?”

Lily crossed the room and set down her package on her nightstand. She then flopped down on her bed and casually began picking Christmas decorations out of her hair, making a small pile in front of her on her scarlet sheets.

“Oh you know, just Peeves being Peeves,” sighed Lily. She looked up at Hermione’s puzzled expression and continued. “He decided to knock over one of the Christmas trees right after Remus and I had finished decorating it and we got pelted with the decorations.”

“I’m glad you weren’t hurt,” said Hermione, thinking back to the previous Christmas when she was a prefect and Peeves wreaked havoc on her and Ron as they decorated the Great Hall.

“Yeah, I feel bad for Remus too because he’s still there finishing up,” said Lily, removing the last bit of holly from her hair.

“Why did you get out early?”

Lily beamed and sat up in her bed and grabbed the package on her nightstand. “Because this gem came and there wasn’t much left to do so Flitwick said I could go!”

Hermione stared at the brown paper wrapped rectangular box in Lily’s arms.

“What’s that?” asked Hermione.

“I’ll show you!”

Lily began to open the box, throwing bits of paper onto her bed in the process. A few second later, Lily held up beautiful emerald green dress robes that flowed through the air as she lifted it out of the box.

“Wow, Lily. It’s gorgeous!” said Hermione as she stared at the dress robes.

Lily beamed as her. “Isn’t it? It looks even better than in the magazine!”

She hugged the fabric to her chest and let out a little squeal.

“It matches your eyes,” said Hermione. She looked at the dress robes and was reminded of Harry, quickly averted her glance. Luckily Lily didn’t notice.

Lily grinned at her. “I’m glad you think that, that’s what I was going for.”

Carefully, as if it were a bomb, Lily put her dress robes back in the box and tucked it safely into her trunk and looked back at Hermione.

“I’m really glad you’re here Hermione,” said Lily warmly. “And I’m so glad you’re coming, we’re going to have so much fun.”

Hermione was moved by this and smiled at Lily. “I think it will be fun."

Then Lily’s smile began to fall and she wrapped her blanket around herself.

“Lily, what’s wrong?” asked Hermione, worried at her change of attitude.

“I’ve always ever gone with Sev,” said Lily, wrapping herself tighter with her blanket. “To the party I mean. I’ve never dated anyone close to Christmas time and he didn’t ever have anyone to bring so we always just went as friends.”

It was a strange thought to picture Lily and Snape all dressed up and attending a party together, even if it was just as friends. Hermione couldn’t imagine that he would be much fun, but nothing seemed too out of the ordinary these days.

“Well it won’t be the end of the world if you didn’t bring a date,” said Hermione.

Lily’s eyes got wide and Hermione guessed she had said something wrong. “Oh no, Hermione you have to bring a date! I mean, you don’t have to but it’s expected of us to go with a guest. It says so right on the invitation he sent out two weeks ago.”

“I thought that was optional…” said Hermione. “Would it be terrible to not have one?”

“I wouldn’t say terrible…” said Lily slowly, “But you wouldn’t want to stick out.”

Sticking out was the last thing Hermione wanted to do.

“I don’t want to pressure you but the party is this weekend, the day before we leave for Christmas holiday. If you’re going to ask someone to go you should probably do it soon,” said Lily. “Do you have your dress robes yet?”

Hermione did in fact have dress robes, but her main worry now was whether or not she had a date. Normally she wouldn’t care if she went solo, she could handle herself and it wouldn’t have been a big deal in 1996, but she had to at least try to blend in here. Unfortunately, that meant she would have to ask someone to the party and the first boy she could think of was Remus.

“Wait,” said Hermione suddenly. “Who are you going with?”

“Oh,” said Lily. “I actually just asked Remus to go with me.”

Ah, thought Hermione. Figures.

“Really? You and Remus?” said Hermione raising her eyebrow. She hadn’t had any ideas who Lily would have taken, part of her hoped it was James but never had she expected this to happen.

“Only as friends of course!” said Lily quickly when she saw Hermione’s expression. “It isn’t like that at all. It’s just when the package came I was reminded that I didn’t have a date and Remus was right there so I asked him to come with me. I made it very clear as friends.”

“Well I’m sure you’ll have a good time together,” said Hermione, who was starting getting anxious. Who on Earth would she take now? Maybe she just wouldn’t show up…

“Wait…” said Lily, sending Hermione a nervous look. “You didn’t want to take Remus did you? Do you, do you like him?”

Lily started to grin as she came to that completely wrong conclusion and Hermione felt her face grow warm, which probably made Lily think she had been right.

“Trust me Lily, Remus is just a friend,” said Hermione definitely.

Lily’s face fell. “Oh, you two would be cute together. But I am glad that you don’t have a thing for him because I’d feel terrible about asking him."

Hermione gave an uncomfortable laugh.

“But if you do fancy someone and want to ask them to the party I’d be more than willing to help,” smiled Lily.

Lily then began to clean off the decorations she pulled from her hair and the paper scrappings from her bed. Hermione reopened her textbook and was trying her best to concentrate on the text but she was too distracted.

With a sigh, Hermione closed the book and stood up from her bed.

“I’ll be right back,” said Hermione as she headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” asked Lily, looking puzzled.

“To find a date,” she called over her shoulder as she walked out of the room and into the staircase.

She could do this, she kept reminding herself. How hard could finding a date be?

Hermione followed the steps down until she entered the warm common room. The common room itself had been decorated for the upcoming holidays as well as the rest of the school. A small green and holly wreath hung on the mantel of the fireplace, which was covered in fake snow, and there were scarlet and gold stockings hanging on either side of it. Small candles were floating around the perimeter of the common room and twinkling, seeming almost reminiscent of muggle Christmas lights. But the loveliest decoration was the blue fir Christmas tree in the far corner of the room beside the armchairs next to the fireplace. Small fairies were flying around the tree and the tree itself was garnished with mistletoe, holly, and decorations that transformed themselves throughout the day.

James and Sirius were sitting beside the tree in two of the comfy scarlet armchairs by the fire. James was playing with a snitch, just like he had done at the lake, while Sirius was whistling a wizard Christmas carol as he read from a textbook. Hermione nearly did a double take as she processed what she was seeing. Sirius Black… was doing homework while away from her and Remus? It truly was a Christmas miracle.

Sirius’s head lifted from his textbook as he noticed Hermione enter the room and flashed her a grin and James followed suit

“Alright, Hermione?” asked Sirius as Hermione crossed the room stopping beside the armchair James was sitting in.

“Okay, I don’t want to jinx anything but I’m actually impressed that you both are doing work without me or Remus prompting you to,” said Hermione with a cheeky smile.

James rolled his eyes and smiled. “Well Remus is still decorating the Great Hall or something like that and you were nowhere to be found and it had to get done eventually. Peter actually just went off to find him.”

Hermione smirked and crossed her arms. “Well if that’s all it takes then perhaps Remus and I will have to make ourselves scarce more often.”

Sirius grinned cheekily and raised his eyebrow. “Well if you need to excuse to have some… alone time…”

Taken-aback, Hermione grimaced at what he was implying, “don’t be foul, Sirius. You know perfectly well that is not what I meant.”

Why was everyone so curious if she liked Remus? Boys and girls could be just friends… And not to mention how inappropriate that would have been given her circumstances.

Sirius, who was still grinning, let out a short laugh, “Sure thing, Hermione. So what are you up to?”

Once Sirius asked that question, it dawned on Hermione what she was going to do about a date.

“Well you know how there’s that Christmas party that Professor Slughorn is throwing?”

“Yeah, still sounds like a snooze fest,” said Sirius, rolling his eyes.

Hermione pursed her lips and bit back a remark before turning to face James. “Well, I was wondering if you’d like to go with me, James.”

A shocked look spread across James’s face and he opened his mouth before quickly closing it again, looking at a loss for words.

Realizing what he must be thinking, Hermione quickly added, “as friends of course. Lily told me it’s customary to bring a date and I can’t be the only one to show up alone…”

James seemed to relax at that statement but still did not look too thrilled.

“Oh come on, you won’t be the only one without a date,” laughed Sirius. “Lily will be there.”

Hermione raised an eyebrow at Sirius. “Well that’s what I thought at first but Lily just informed me that, as a matter of fact, she does has a date.”

Hermione watched James as he absorbed this information and it was almost as if she could see the exact moment where it registered what she had said as James jumped up in his seat.

“WHAT?” gasped James, looking dramatically alert in his armchair. “Who is it?”

“Not Snivellus, right?” asked Sirius with a dark look crossing his face.

“No no no of course not!” Hermione rushed to say. “Give Lily a little bit more credit than that…”

“Then who?” asked James.

“She also asked a friend,” said Hermione carefully. If James had gotten the wrong idea with her asking him, she couldn’t imagine what James would do if he thought Lily had feelings for Remus. “She asked Remus to go with her.”

“REMUS?” gasped James.

“As friends!” repeated Hermione. “Just like how I’m asking you to go.”

As James babbled incoherently to himself Sirius feigned a hurt look. “And why don’t I get the invite?”

Hermione raised her eyebrow at him. “Would you have even wanted to go?”

“No…” responded Sirius. “But I’m still offended that you didn’t ask me!”

“You said a few weeks ago that you couldn’t be paid enough to go!”

“That may be true but what if I had been lying!”

Hermione rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Do you want to go with me, Sirius?”

“Hey!” said James.

Sirius grinned, “Nah, you still couldn’t pay me enough to go to that party.”

Hermione let out a frustrated groan and turned back to James. “Please, James?”

James turned his attention to the fire for a moment while he considered this. The longer he took the more nervous Hermione got.

“Just think about all the time you can spend with Lily if you go! The four of us can just hang out together,” said Hermione, getting desperate. “Plus everyone will be dressed nice so it’s a good excuse for you to dress well and impress Lily.”

She had expected James to react positively to this but he didn’t take his attention away from the fire. Even Sirius looked at him curiously. Finally he turned towards Hermione and smiled.

“Alright, I’ll go with you, Hermione,” he said, and laughed when Hermione let out a sign of relief. “But not because of Lily. I’m going to go with you because you’re my friend.”

Hermione’s face broke into a large grin and she ran to the armchair James was sitting in and leaned over him, trapping him in a big hug.

“Too tight, can’t breathe. Don’t make me change my mind, Hermione!” gasped James and Hermione quickly stood up straight but was still grinning.

“Great! I will meet you at eight o’clock on Saturday night!” and then Hermione turned around and quickly made her way back to the dormitory.

“Girls are weird,” said James.

“Tell me about it, mate,” said Sirius.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

It was nearly eight o’clock and James was standing in the middle of the common room, waiting for the girls to make an appearance. Remus stood beside him in dark brown dress robes that hung slightly too loose on him, but overall James had to admit that Remus managed to clean up well, it was rare that James saw any of his friends dressed up.

James himself was wearing a set of classic black dress robes but he felt like he looked kind of boring. He bet that most of the blokes there would be wearing similar robes, Remus being one of the few not in black.

He wasn’t mad that Lily had asked Remus to go with her, he understood that. The two of them had gotten close over the past two years and he knew it was just as friends. He also wasn’t mad that Remus had agreed to be her date. What was Moony supposed to do? Leave Lily hanging? No, James was glad that if Lily had to ask anyone she had chosen Moony. But he would be lying if he said he was a little let down about not going with Lily, even though he had agreed to just being friends with her. Friends was better than nothing.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a group of girls from across the common room staring and him and Remus, giggling to one another. The two of them did seem to stand out in their dress robes, being the only two Gryffindor boys attending the party. James couldn’t help but smirk and he ran his hands through his messy hair and the girls began to whisper more urgently and James saw Remus frown at their reaction.

His dad had sent him some of his Sleekeazy's Hair Potion after he wrote to his parents about attending the party but James didn’t care for it, so he had given it to Hermione, who he remembered saying that she had used it in the past. He preferred his hair to stay as it was, even if it did drive his mother mad.

There was the creak of a wooden door opening and closing above them and soon James caught a glimpse of Hermione walking down the stairs. James had to admit that it took him a good second to realize it was her. Beside him, Remus stood wide eyed as he took in her appearance, his mouth was slightly agape.

She had used his father’s potion after all because her normally bushy mess of a hair was smooth and shiny. She had pinned it up to the back of her head with small ringlets spilling down to frame her face. Her dress robes were long and flowed behind her in waves of scarlet as she descended the stairs. The girls in the corner even grew quiet as she entered the common room, not believing it was her.

There was an unusually shy and nervous grin on her face, which was very unlike Hermione, as she approached the boys, as if she was waiting for them to say something rude. How had people really treated her at Beauxbatons?

“So…” said Hermione cautiously. “What do you think?

She did a small turn so they could see all of her dress robes and grinned back at them.

“I can honestly say, Hermione, that you look absolutely breathtaking,” said Remus, who seemed to be in some kind of trance.

Hermione beamed up at him. “Oh just wait until you see your date!”

Then Lily’s figure appeared on the stairs and it was as if James’s world stopped for a moment. To him, the common room was empty. The girls in the corner were gone and Remus and Hermione were nowhere to be seen. All that existed was the goddess that seemed to walk towards him in slow motion.

Lily’s auburn hair fell in waves slightly past her shoulders with the front of her hair braided with small gold and silver gems to the side to keep her fringe from falling in her face.

Her dress robes were emerald green with a low neckline that was also made up of gold and silver gems to match the ones in her hair. The green fabric made her eyes vibrant and pop and her hair never looked so bright and red in contrast to her dress. The dress highlighted every amazing feature in Lily and James couldn’t help but think that dress must have been made for her and her alone.

There were slight flickers of glitter on her face and she beamed down at him, or probably at the three of them but James would never admit that, and she seemed to glow.

For a second James was out of breath as he stared at Lily, and it felt like something was pulling at his stomach.

James took a step towards her but was brought back to reality when he felt someone elbow him. Startled as the world came back to him, he looked down at Hermione, who was stifling a laugh as she gave him a look that could only mean “play it cool”.

“Sorry I’m late. Mary was putting the finishing touches on my hair,” said Lily with a grin. “Shall we?”

James automatically made a move to walk beside Lily but Lily had grabbed a hold on Remus’s arm and started towards the door, Remus sent him a quick apologetic look and James stopped in his tracks. Hermione came up beside him and took a hold of his arm, looking amused and James felt like an arse.

“She really does look beautiful, doesn’t she?” said Hermione under her breath so only he could hear her as they began to follow the other two out of the common room. There was a glimmer of amusement in her eyes as if she could see right through him and knew what he was thinking. “You might need to control yourself a little bit better.”

James’s face flushed and in that moment he was never more grateful to be with Hermione. She wasn’t going to make fun of him or be mad that he had completely forgotten that she was his date and not Lily. She really was a true friend and he had meant it when he said he was going for her. Which is why he felt so ashamed to have lost his cool like that.

The two of them caught up to Remus and Lily and the four of them chatted casually on their way to the dungeons. James didn’t know where the party was happening, clearly it wouldn’t be in Slughorn’s broom cupboard of an office, so he instead just followed Lily and soon enough he could hear the faint sound of music growing louder as he got farther into the dungeons. Finally, when the music was as clear as day, Lily grinned and waved them into one of the unused rooms in the dungeons.

James had never been to this room before and was surprised at how big it was. The room was bigger than most of the rooms he had been to in the dungeons and he had a feeling that it might have been magically altered to be able to fit everything and everyone. The room itself didn’t even resemble the grey stone dungeons at all. The walls and ceiling were dressed in green, red, gold, and silver drapes that gave the room the appearance of being in a large tent. Candles floated around the room casting an amber light over the crowd of people that were scatted around enjoying the party. There were a mix of students and also adults throughout the room and in the far corner a small group of instruments were enchanted to play music. House-elves with trays were wandering around the room offering beverages and food to the partygoers.

“House elves!” gasped Hermione under her breath. Her eyes were lit and enraged at the sight of the servants. “I can’t believe they are being forced to work this! And at Christmas too!”

James stared at her blankly and was saved from responding when a cheerful, and dare he say it, tipsy, Slughorn approached them in a velvet smoking jacket, grinning from ear to ear. James made a move to escape but Hermione held him back sending him a stern look that oddly reminded him of McGonagall.

“Isn’t it my favorite Gryffindors!” chortled Slughorn. He beamed at Lily and Hermione. “I’m very very glad you made girls.”

“We’re happy to be here, Sir,” said Lily with a smile.

He turned and spotted James and his grin seemed to somehow get bigger which James did not think was possible. “James, m’boy!” boomed Slughorn. “It’s great to see you here!”

Slughorn glanced over at Remus. “Ah, glad to see you too Mr. Lupin.”

Remus gave a polite and amused nod. “You too, Sir.”

“So! James!” beamed Slughorn. “Are you accompanying Lily this evening?”

James opened his mouth to answer when Lily called out, “actually he’s with Hermione. I came with Remus.” Her face was slightly flushed and James felt that weird pull in his stomach again.

For a moment it looked like Slughorn was disappointed at that answer before going back to grinning. “Well come of out the door, come come! Enjoy the party! Ah, will you excuse me? I must go and say hi to our other guests who are arriving!”

Slughorn stepped past them and that’s when James noticed Snape from across the room. He was standing near Regulus and Rosier, who had both managed to procure dates, and was sulking. As if he knew James had spotted him, Snape’s attention turned towards him and it gave James a great sense of satisfaction at Snape’s surprise at seeing him there. He watched as Snape looked between him and then at Lily and Snape’s face broke out in fury. So Snape had assumed they came together, and James had every intention of never correcting that assumption.

Lily seemed to notice this small altercation. “Let’s go this way!” she said quickly and grabbed a hold of Remus’s robes and quite literally began to drag him with her. She grabbed a glass of mead in the process and James had to hurry to keep up with her while managing to maneuver the crowded room with Hermione only a step behind him. They made their way over to a roaring fireplace that was periodically changing colors where there were no Slytherins in sight.

“Now,” said Lily, taking a long sip of her glass and smiling. “Let’s have fun!”

As the party continued James was surprised to actually find himself having a good time. The drinks and food were amazing and the music quickly turned into something worth dancing too. James only wished that Sirius and Peter were there as well. The only downside was having to endure Hermione ranting about the house elves being mistreated, but he managed to district her by getting her to dance.

“I’m going to get more mead!” beamed Lily, who was slightly pink in the face from dancing, and probably the mead. Even pink, James never had seen someone so beautiful. “Do any of you want anything?”

“Yeah mead sounds great,” said James.

Lily grinned at him. “Coming right up!”

.:~*~*~*~*~:. 

Lily had bounced out of sight and Hermione was left with the two boys. She did have to admit, that she was having a much better time than she had expected. And by the look on James’s face, she assumed he was having a good time as well, which she was glad about after practically begging him to come with her. She was also glad that he and Lily were getting along so well, which had been one of the reasons she had asked James to come with her. Remus also seemed like he was having fun but there was also a distracted look in his eyes, but Hermione didn’t want to bring it up in front of everyone.

Michelle and Dirk had also shown up, they went together as friends as well, and joined their group for a while. It was nice being surrounded by friends but there was a touch of tension in the air with Dirk and Michelle with them, given that James and Remus were not very close with them, particularly with Dirk, but Michelle seemed to pick up on this and excused the two of them to go elsewhere at the party after a while.

The atmosphere in the air was lively and it was nice to be able to let loose with three of her friends, or now just two since Lily had disappeared. After a moment of Lily being gone, James excused himself to use the toilet and Hermione found herself alone with Remus.

“Would you mind if we moved to the other side of the room?” said Remus loudly over the music that was playing beside them. They must have been thinking the same thing because he gestured towards the enchanted instruments a few feet away. “I feel like the longer we’re here the louder they get.”

She agreed and the two of them crossed the room to be closer to refreshment table by the door where they were able to hear each other easier.

Hermione looked around. “Do you see Lily? I assumed she’d be by the drinks. I hope she’s able to find us over here.”

“She’ll find us,” said Remus. He grabbed two goblets from the table and handed one to Hermione who gripped it and took a sip of the lovely honey mead.

Remus was quiet again, looking nervous for some reason with sparked Hermione’s curiosity.

“Are you alright, Remus?” she asked with an eyebrow raised.

His head popped up slightly at the question as if she startled him.

“Hm? Oh yes, I’m fine. I guess I’m just kind of tired,” he said with a weary smile to her.

“Are you not having a good time?”

“No I’m happy I’m here with you, Lily, and James. I’ve just never been one for big social gatherings,” he said with a shrug, looking away from her.

“You know, when Lily told me we had to bring a date my immediate thought was to ask you to come with me,” said Hermione, taking a sip of her drink and looking across the room at the crowd of people standing around talking or dancing to the music.

Remus raised his eyebrow and looked down at her, a hint of a smile on his face. “You wanted to go with me?”

Hermione turned to face him and nodded nonchalantly, but glad to have more of his attention. “You’re my closest guy friend… actually you’re one of my closest friends in general here. I would have asked you sooner but I didn’t know this was the type of party we needed a date for. I was disappointed when Lily told me she had already asked you.”

She took another sip of her drink as Remus seemed to quietly process this.

“Oh,” was all Remus said in response. He cleared his throat and took a sip of his own drink before turning his gaze away from her and he suddenly seemed very interested in what the other guests were doing, lost in thought.

Hermione felt her face turn hot and she quickly looked away as well. She cursed herself for being so stupid – she was smarter than this. She had hoped that saying that might have cheered him up but it seemed to have the opposite effect. The last thing she wanted to do was make Remus feel more uncomfortable. Who just comes out and says deep emotional things like that? From all the experiences she had with Ron and Harry, she had learnt that boys didn’t tend to make grand statements of friendship.

There was an awkward silence as Hermione scanned the room wondering where James and Lily had gone and desperately wishing for Lily to return. But as she watched the groups of people dancing, eating, and drinking she couldn’t spot Lily nor her own date.

Beside her, Remus cleared his throat and Hermione looked back at him. He looked as awkward as she felt. “Well, I’m glad we’re both still here together. Even if both of our dates have disappeared.”

He sent her a crooked smile and pulled her into a side hug and Hermione immediately relaxed and leaned into his body. The smell of chocolate was faintly present and she smiled to herself.

“Although I definitely would not have minded if you had asked me first,” said Remus and Hermione could hear the smirk in his voice. “And even though I have only known you for four months I consider you one of my close friends as well.”

“Well good,” said Hermione. She gave him a quick squeeze and then pulled away. “But we both do have our own dates… no matter where they ran off to…”

She looked around the room trying to spot Lily but couldn’t see her anywhere, and it would be hard to miss the bright green dress robes.

“Do you think they’re together?” asked Remus, smirking and raising an eyebrow towards her.

Hermione grinned at that thought. “That would be an interesting development.”

“Honestly, I’d be surprised if they didn’t end up together,” said Remus with a grin. “I mean, it’s bound to happen eventually.”

“Who are?” asked Lily, who had just returned and was smiling at the two of them.

Remus’s eyes went wide and he opened his mouth but no sound came out.

“Dirk and Michelle,” said Hermione without missing a beat, and she could see the corner of Remus’s mouth twitch in relief and amusement at the odd pairing.

Lily frowned. “Dirk and Michelle? I highly doubt it. I was actually just talking to Michelle and she mentioned that Dirk has a thing for someone else. And Michelle clearly just sees him as a friend.”

“Oh,” said Remus who was struggling to keep his mouth from twitching into a smile. “I guess we were wrong.”

“So that’s where you’ve been this whole time?” asked Hermione, quickly changing the subject. “I was looking for you in the crowd but it’s hard to see through all the people.”

Lily gave her and Remus a guilty smile. “Sorry, she caught me and I lost track of time. Also Slughorn kept trying to introduce me to people…”

Just then, James came walking back into the party. He looked around for a bit before spotting them and walking over.

“Where have you been?” asked Lily as James approached.

“Loo,” said James with a smirk.

“The party seems to be ending,” said Hermione, looking around the room as people starting making their exits. The instruments began playing softer and slower as if encouraging people to leave.

James looked down at his watch. “It is getting pretty late.”

“Should we head out?” asked Remus.

Lily sighed. “I suppose so… We should probably get some rest before the Hogwarts Express tomorrow.”

Hermione’s smile fell from her face as it began to dawn on her that she was going to be spending Christmas holiday alone this year after everyone left tomorrow. She carefully avoiding letting them know this though as she was still coming up with an excuse to not take the train back with them, but she shook the thought from her head for the time being.

The four of them began to make the long trek back towards Gryffindor tower, still giddy from the party and the mead, all high in spirits.

“Is it bad that I haven’t started packing?” said James as they approached the Fat Lady. And even Lily couldn’t help but laugh.

Chapter Text

Chapter 15 - Alone Again

The Great Hall was lively the morning following Slughorn’s Christmas Party. It was filled with students eating their last breakfast together of the term, except for the students who planned to stay at Hogwarts. While some students were chatting excitedly about getting to go home and their Christmas holiday plans, other were saying their goodbyes to their friends who they would miss.

“You’d think they’d never seen each other again,” said Sirius as he looked towards a girl who just burst into tears across the hall and pulled her friend into a hug. “It’s only two weeks!”

Remus had to agree, but only to an extent. While some people did act like not seeing each other was the end of the world and were clearly overreacting, there had been times when Remus felt the same way about leaving his friends. The first holiday after they found out he was a werewolf was a particularly hard goodbye for him, Never in his life had he expected to make such amazing and supportive friends and being away from them for even a short amount of time killed him. Even today he was feeling somber at having to say goodbye to his good friends, and now Hermione…

“Does this mean you won’t miss us?” asked Peter with a smirk.

“Of course I’ll miss you, Wormtail. Hell, I’ll even miss Moony!” said Sirius and Remus rolled his eyes. “But someone is going to have to rescue me from having to spend my entire holiday with Prongs.”

“Oi! You love it at my house!” said James.

“I do love it at your house, and I love your parents,” said Sirius. “But you I’m kind of eh about.”

James grinned and raised his glass of orange juice in the air. “Ah, same to you, mate. Cheers”

Sirius and James clanked glasses.

“Well, I hope you’ll miss us enough to write,” said Remus with a small smile. “Because you will all definitely be hearing from me.”

“Of course we’ll write, Moony,” said James.

“Every day,” said Peter with a nod.

“Okay, Wormtail, every day seems a little excessive to me,” joked Sirius and Peter rolled his eyes at him.

“Ignore him, Peter,” said Remus.

Sirius then looked up towards the door and frowned, looking disappointed.

“Man! Her hair is normal again. I really wanted it to see it all nice and shiny…”

Remus turned around and followed Sirius’s gaze and his eyes fell on Hermione who was walking towards where they sat. As Sirius had pointed out, her hair was back to its usual bushy unmanageable self and her face was rid of makeup. She was wearing her regular black robes with her bag overflowing with books slung over her shoulder. Remus was actually relieved to see her looking like her normal self, even though she did look absolutely stunning the previous night. This was their Hermione.

“Why is your hair all bushy again?” said Sirius before Remus could even greet her as she sat down beside him.

Hermione raised her eyebrow at Sirius as she helped herself to some toast. “Good morning to you too, Sirius.”

“I heard that you had sleek and shiny hair at old Sluggy’s party last night. What happened to it?” asked Sirius. He poked his fork at her curls which she slapped away. Remus facepalmed. “James and Remus got to see you all dolled up, why am I the only one left out?”

“Hey, I wasn’t there either,” added Peter but Sirius ignored because he was too busy making a fuss.

“Because I showered, Sirius,” said Hermione eying him. “Are you not familiar with the term?”

Sirius scoffed and then grinned. “Of course I am. Do you think I look this good without showering?”

His arms went in the air and he did a weird flexing movement that ended with him running his hands through his thick black hair.

Not being able to help it, Hermione burst out laughing at Sirius as the rest of them just stared, not knowing what to say.

“The potion washed out of my hair in the shower and it’s much too tedious to use every day,” said Hermione, her eyes sparkling with laughter. “But it was nice while it lasted…”

“That’s a shame,” said Sirius. “I heard that you looked real good.”

He winked at her and Hermione rolled her eyes at him, but she still had a faint smile on her face. Remus frowned at the odd encounter.

Something had changed since last night and he could feel it. There was something different about Hermione, or at least something he had never noticed before. An air of confidence embodied her. She had always seemed so confident in her smarts, schoolwork, and opinions but this was different. Remus didn’t know how to phrase it exactly but it was like she was confident in herself as a person, she was comfortable, maybe even happier. Her usually welcoming smile was brighter than normal and infectious. He couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of her.

“Remus, you’re staring at me. Is there something on my face?” Hermione said as she began brushing her hands across her face.

Willing himself not to turn red, Remus shook his head. “No no you don’t. Sorry, I must have zooned out…”

Hermione smiled kindly at him. “Is there a lot on your mind?”

“Yeah, actually,” muttered Remus to himself.

“Come again?” asked Hermione, cocking her head to the side, her warm brown eyes looking curious.

“Yeah, I’m just thinking about the holiday… and what I’m going to do. I’ll need to find something to occupy my time,” said Remus vaguely, and Hermione gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Well I know what I am going to do,” said Sirius cheerily. “I’m going to do no work, I’m going to sleep in every day, and I’m going to be eating a lot of Euphemia Potter’s food.”

“And that’s a lot of food,” added James seriously.

Remus saw Hermione smirk at Sirius. “So the only difference between then and now is eating food from James’s mother and not Hogwarts?”

“Oh you have seen nothing yet, Hermione. I think you underestimate my ability to sleep literally all day long,” said Sirius. “You think me sleeping through breakfast on the weekends is bad? Wait until you see me sleep through lunch too.”

“As fascinating as that sounds, it would be very difficult to see that from here,” said Hermione.

“What?” said James. “You’re not going home for Christmas?”

“Nope, which is why I have my schoolbag with me. After breakfast I’m headed to the library,” said Hermione, patting her bag.

“You hadn’t mentioned that before,” said Remus with a frown wondering why she had neglected to tell them.

Hermione shrugged. “I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“But why aren’t you going home?” asked Remus, curious about why she’d rather stay at Hogwarts alone rather than be with her family. While she rarely spoke about her family, when she did talk about them it was usually positive and her eyes would grow soft. He had assumed she’d want to go home and see them.

For a second Remus swore he saw her hesitate at the question. “My parents are away… and I would rather be here on Christmas than in my house alone.”

“Why don’t you come back to my place with me and Sirius?” said James after a moment. “We have more than enough room at my house and my mom cooks an amazing Christmas dinner.”

“I’m flattered, James,” said Hermione with a tired smile. “But I can’t just crash your family’s Christmas like that, especially with no warning.”

“I doubt my parents would mind…” said James. “My mum loves when my friends are over. She practically lives for it.”

“It’s true,” said Peter. “She loves us.”

“Really, thank you, James,” said Hermione. “Lily offered me the same thing after I told her this morning as well, but I will be perfectly fine spending the break here. Besides, I haven’t even packed and the train leaves soon. Look, people are already headed out!”

Scattered throughout the Hall, students were beginning to finish their breakfasts and started to leave.

“You’re going to be alone on Christmas!” gaped Sirius.

Hermione’s smile faltered slightly at Sirius’s comment and Remus felt the strange urge to hit him.

“Wait, so you won’t be on the train with us?” asked Peter and Hermione shook her head at him. “Shame, that’s usually one of my favorite times.”

“Guys,” sighed Hermione. “I will be fine here.”

 “So where did your parents go?” asked Peter. “And why didn’t they take you?”

Remus watched Hermione as she considered how she was going to answer. It was obvious that Hermione wasn’t very fond of Peter but it also seemed that she had been trying to tolerate him more recently, especially now after a rather blunt question that could be misinterpreted as rude.

“Right before we left Paris my parents got involved with Médecins Sans Frontières,” said Hermione, with careful pronunciation of the French words.

“Something without borders?” asked Sirius and Hermione gave him an impressed and questionable look. “What? I know a bit of French, my family liked to go to France in the summer. I don’t know what ‘médecins’ means though.”

“Doctors,” said Hermione, still looking at Sirius with an impressed smirk. “Doctors Without Borders. It’s a humanitarian project to help people in less privileged countries get the medical care they need when they would not normally be able to. Apparently there is a lot more gum and tooth disease than people thought… Don’t forget to floss, guys.”

Sirius, Peter, and James were staring at her as if she were speaking gibberish and Remus couldn’t help but laugh which earned him a grin from Hermione.

“Are you sure that you’ll be fine here by yourself?” asked James. “Honestly, you could spend it with us.”

“I spent an entire summer by myself and I managed,” said Hermione reassuringly. “If I can do that then I suppose I can last two weeks.”

There was a tapping sound coming from the front of the Great Hall and Remus looked up to see Professor McGonagall tapping her wand on the podium.

“If you are not registered to stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas holiday then this is the time for you to gather your belongings and start to head to the train station. The carriages are beginning to leave,” said McGonagall, giving a stern look over her glasses at the few groups of students still in the Great Hall before landing on the group of them.

The remaining students in the Great Hall began to get up from their tables, leaving behind the students staying at Hogwarts. James and Sirius began to stand and Peter hastily followed.

“Sorry, Hermione, but we need to go back for our trunks before we miss the train,” said James, sending her an apologetic smile.

“That’s alright,” said Hermione, as she stood up from the table as well. “You better hurry though.”

James grinned, “Have a good holiday, then?”

Sirius, James, and Peter began to walk towards the door and Remus quickly began to stand up to follow them.

“And you better actually do your work, Sirius Black!” yelled Hermione as they approached the door. “Because I will not be helping you when you return! Have a good holiday!”

“Yeah yeah!” called Sirius over his shoulder as the three of them got to the threshold. “Hurry up, Moony!”

Remus gave Hermione a sad smile but when he tried to walk past her she grabbed onto his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

“You’ll write won’t you?” she asked him, her brown eyes large and hopeful.

The question made Remus’s stomach tight and warm and he couldn’t help but smile at her. “Of course I will, Hermione.”

A grin spread across her face and she leaned in to hug him. The hug was all too quick, before he could even return the embrace she had released him and was staring at him again with a grin.

“You better hurry and catch up with them,” said Hermione, feigning sternness and cocking her heard in the direction of the door and Remus chuckled. “But you actually really should go, you really don’t want to miss the train.”

Remus grinned. “Have a good holiday, Hermione.”

“Have a good holiday, Remus.” 

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

The castle was unusually quiet over the next few days and Hermione welcomed it, but as the first week of break came to an end Hermione couldn’t help but yearn for the people she had grown so attached to. But, she wasn’t going to let that distract her from the task she had given herself: try to read more books on time travel and once those are done reread as many as possible to see what she missed.

Early on in the break she had gone to visit Dumbledore again, who still had yet to make any progress with finding a way for her to go back. He had given her all the books he could find on the subject for her to go over if she so wished.

Guilt had started to eat at Hermione’s stomach during her visit with him. It had been so long since she had gone to see him about her chances of returning and she had slacked off on her research, which lead to a terrifying thought; what if part of her was happy here and didn’t want to leave? It was a ridiculous idea and Hermione knew that. Of course she wanted to go home. Right?

She wanted to see Harry, Ron, Ginny, and all of the Weasleys again. She wanted her family back. And most importantly, she needed to help Harry take down Voldemort. Yet, she couldn’t shake off how much she was enjoying being here and the friendships she made. But her happiness didn’t matter; it wasn’t as important as all of the things she had to do in her own time, and her friends were waiting on her. They were relying on her.

Most of the days during Holiday were spent with Hermione camped up in the room she had created in the Room of Requirement. It was the only place Hermione knew of that no one would be able to see what books she was reading. At first, she had been reading and taking notes in the library but she had been interrupted by Dirk Cresswell, who apparently was also staying at Hogwarts, and he was thrilled that someone he knew was also there. He had insisted they play a game of wizard’s chess and Hermione couldn’t find a good excuse to say no. She liked Dirk’s company, it was nice to have someone to talk to while everyone else was away and someone to eat meals with, but she couldn’t risk the distraction from her task, and she definitely couldn’t risk Dirk or anyone else seeing the books Dumbledore had given her.

The only distraction she allowed herself was owling her friends, other than that she was researching and writing down anything that seemed even remotely important. She allowed herself a break to answer letters, which was one of her favorite parts of each day. A day didn’t go by where she wouldn’t receive a letter from one of her fellow Gryffindors. It was usually Lily and Remus who wrote the most but she did receive letters from Mary and James as well, even Sirius had managed to write her with his busy schedule of eating, sleeping, and doing nothing.

After spending so much time there, Hermione had made some alterations to the room she created in the Room of Requirements. One of the first things she did was ask the room for Christmas decorations, which the room did not disappoint with. Now the fireplace was decorated with fake snow and garland. Different color baubles floated around the room and poinsettias were on all the desks. A respectable Christmas tree was beside the fireplace that had an enchanted train chugged around the trunk, occasionally blowing its tiny horn.

The biggest change that Hermione decided to make was adding two rooms. She had found that she was spending almost all of her time during break, aside from meals, in the room so it only seemed fit to add a bathroom. She would also lose track of time until she was there well after curfew, and instead of risking the chance of running into Filch and landing in detention, she had just chosen to sleep on one of the couches. The third day of doing that, Hermione had woken up with a sore back so she asked the room for a door leading to her bedroom from back home, and the room did not disappoint. Hermione had practically made herself her own little apartment.

Yet, one of her favorite additions to the room was the record player that was now in the far corner. It had come with an assortment of music to choose from but Hermione was feeling festival on Christmas Eve and was listening to Christmas songs as she sat curled up in an armchair by the fire.

She was reading one of the books Dumbledore had given her called Why Go Back and Not Forward?: How Time-Turners Screw Everything Up. Obviously she had not arrived by time-turner but the laws of time travel were the same, there were only ways to go back and not forward. Hermione had to agree with the book, while it was probably a good thing that traveling to the future was impossible, it was rather lame how there was no way to reverse the effects of a time-turner in the case of a mistake. What Hermione really wanted to get her hands on was information about the room in the Department of Mysteries that had caused this whole thing, but that would be an impossible task for her and was best left to Dumbledore.

With a sigh, Hermione marked her place and set the book down and closed her eyes. The record player clicked in a new record and the rich sound of Bing Crosby’s “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” began to play throughout the room, accompanied by the occasional pop of the fire and chime from the grandfather clock on the far side of the room.

Focusing hard with her eyes still shut, Hermione imagined that she was back in her childhood home. She breathed in the fragrance of the scented candles that always burned throughout the room, and the vanilla, apple, and cinnamon aromas allowed her body to relax as they reminded her of the candles her mum would burn.

“I'll be home for Christmas; you can count on me.”

It would be a Christmas miracle for her to be home for Christmas and she knew it. Her mother would probably be baking her annual sugar-free pie that she made every Christmas Eve. Hermione wrapped her arms around herself yearning for her mum’s embrace. There was a guilt building inside her as she realized she hadn’t spent Christmas with her parents since her first year at Hogwarts, Would she ever spend it with them again?

“Please have snow and mistletoe, and presents on the tree.”

She thought back to the last Christmas, the one where she spent it at Grimmauld place with Harry and the Weasleys. Presents were piled high under the Christmas tree with so many people to celebrate with. Spirits had been high with Harry being with Sirius, having a proper family for the first time, and everyone’s excitement with Mr. Weasley surviving the snake attack and recovering. What she would give to be there right now.

“Christmas eve will find me, where the love light gleams.”

The faces of her love one flashed through her mind: her parents, Harry, Ron, Ginny, Fred, George, hell, the entire Weasley family. But then the faces began to change and soon she was imaging James, Lily, Sirius, Mary, and Remus. Her heart began to ache and she forced the images from her mind.

“I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.”

A tear escaped her closed eyes and slowly dripped down her face. She didn’t know how long she sat in the Room of Requirements with her eyes closed. It wasn’t until the clock began to chime that she slowly opened them. She counted the bongs until finally they stopped after the twelfth.

Midnight.

It was officially Christmas.

Slowly, Hermione stood up. After a small stretch, she mechanically walked across the room feeling like an automaton, and moved the tonearm from the record player causing the music to be cut off.

There was a lonely silence throughout the room and Hermione couldn’t bear it. She walked to the newest door in the room and opened it to her childhood bedroom and stepped inside. Her chest was tight as she walked to her dresser and picked up a framed photo of her baby self with her parents. She traced her hand over the glass of the stationary photo and smiled sadly down at it.

She turned and walked towards her bed and carefully set down the photo next to the one of herself, Ron, and Harry that Ginny had taken before she crawled under the covers, not bothering to change.

For a moment she just stared at the two photos side by side as she laid in bed. Another tear slowly made its way sideways down her face until she felt the wet tear tickle her ear.

“Merry Christmas mum and dad,” she whispered to herself quietly. “Merry Christmas Harry and Ron.” 

~o~

That morning Hermione woke up feeling groggy, not having slept very well. It took her a while to will herself out of bed but after a long internal battle, Hermione forced herself to get up. She reasoned that she had to eventually, being as she needed to go back to her dormitory to change for breakfast before the castle was littered with the students who had stayed for Christmas. She didn’t want to be seen or have people question where she had been.

When she walked out of her room and into main room, a strange sight caused her to stop in her tracks. Underneath the Christmas tree were presents. As she approached the presents she noticed a piece of parchment placed on the end table beside the couch. She picked up the parchment and began to read the letter that was scribed on it.

Dear Hermione,

I had the liberty of having your gifts sent here knowing that this is where you would be. I can’t imagine how you are feeling today but let me be the first to wish you a Merry Christmas. I have also left you a small gift. I hope you keep it as a reminder of your time here after we discover how to send you home.

Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore

December 25^th, 1976.

There was a small box beside the letter and Hermione frowned as she opened it. Inside was a small circular gold pin. Etched into the center was “1976”. 

Not knowing what to make of the gesture, Hermione returned the pin to the box and shoved it into her pocket before turning her attention to the small pile of gifts under the tree. A warmth flooded through her at the sight of them.

She walked the few steps towards the tree before sitting like a pretzel in front of the fire on the rug, letting its warmth flow through her.

Grabbing the closest package to her, Hermione carefully removed the wrapping paper. Inside was what appeared to be a pair of normal fuzzy white socks. Attached was a note:

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HERMIONE!

Now I know these look like normal socks, and you’re probably wondering why on Earth someone has sent you socks for Christmas (who does that, right?) BUT these socks have been enchanted to change in temperature so your feet are always nice and cozy! Plus, they’re really comfortable in general so I thought you’d like them, especially since the castle seems to constantly change temperatures depending on where you go. I hope your Christmas is great.

Miss you loads,

Mary MacDonald

Immediately, Hermione removed her own socks and put on the socks Mary had sent her. A gasp escaped her mouth as the socks changed temperature and created a comfortable and relaxing sensation. Hermione wiggled her toes and grinned, they were definitely the coolest socks she had ever owned.

The next parcel was a very thin rectangular shape and scrawled across it was “To Hermione, From Lily.” Inside was a copy of the Daily Prophet and a copy of Witch Weekly. Slightly confused, Hermione reached for the card that had been attached.

Dear Hermione,

Happy Christmas! This may not seem like much but I promise that it’s more than it appears. I know how much you love reading the Daily Prophet but you always wait until someone finishes theirs and then ask for it to read. So… I got you a subscription! Now you’ll be able to keep your own copy and be informed without someone always having to tell you what is happening. Also, Mary and I always read Witch Weekly so I thought maybe you’d enjoy a subscription to that as well. I feel like it’s always smart to stay informed about what is happening in the wizarding world, particularly when we aren’t in it and are back with muggles, so I figured both of these would be useful…

Lily’s letter then turned into an extension of all of her other letters. Meaning, a detailed description of everything going on with her and her family, particularly her complaining about Petunia being bitter that she was back. The letter went on for a while but Hermione appreciated the escape and view into Lily’s life with Harry’s relatives. She would be sure to save the letter for Harry. The subscriptions would also be useful.

The next gift was a lovely set of leather bound journals and a new set of quills and ink from both James and Sirius.

Dear Hermione,

You’re always so academic and never stop taking notes (you go through more notebooks and rolls of parchment than anyone we know, and that includes Remus!) so we thought you should at least do it in style from now on. We hope you’re hanging in there at Hogwarts, it would have been cool to have you here. We hope you’re Christmas goes well and you enjoy the feast.

Best,

James and Sirius

PS: This entire letter was written by James because Sirius is useless. But hey, I guess we love him anyways.

Hermione grinned at the letter and shook her head slightly.  The gift was actually very exciting to Hermione, she had been meaning to start documenting her time here, starting a diary of some sort, so the journals would be perfect for that.

To her surprise, even Peter had sent her a gift, a large bag of deluxe sugar quills. She was now relieved that she had sent him a box of chocolate frogs to add to his collection.

The last gift was rectangular and box shaped and when she picked it up she smiled at the weight of it, knowing that it could only be a book, and knowing it had to be from Remus. She was careful with the wrappings as to not damage the book. As she peeled away the paper and got a glimpse of the cover she let out a small shriek of joy and quickly removed the rest of the wrappings so she could get a whole look. He had remembered how much she loved Hogwarts: A History.

Dear Hermione,

First, I’d like to wish you a very happy Christmas! I hope you are holding up well at Hogwarts and I wish I could be there with you to keep you company, hopefully the feast will be worth staying for. It isn’t much but I remember you reading this in the library and you telling me that it was your favorite. If I am right with my assumption, you were reading the library’s copy so I guessed you didn’t have a copy of your own and thought you might want one.

Also, I have some exciting news! Remember when I said I wasn’t sure about what I was going to do during holiday? Well, when I walked into Flourish and Blotts (that’s a bookstore in Diagon Alley in London, I’ve just realized that I have no idea if you’ve been there or not. If you haven’t you’d love it, especially the bookstore. If you ever want a tour, let me know.) – well anyway, when I walked into Flourish and Blotts to buy you the book there was a help wanted sign and I was able to get a part-time job during breaks! I’ve always wanted to work in a bookstore and they said they’d like someone part time to help with the rush they get when students aren’t at Hogwarts. So in a way that was a gift in its own to me. It’s absolutely perfect and I feel like I have you to thank in a way.

Sorry, this letter has gotten very long and I’m sure you’ll want to get on with your Christmas. I look forward to seeing you in the New Year!

Yours,

Remus Lupin

Hermione tightly clutched the book to her chest and allowed herself to smile as she embraced one of the few things that felt like home.

Chapter Text

Chapter 16 - Monster

“New year, new me!” said Sirius. He lounged back in his chair and propped his feet up on his desk, right in the middle of their Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, much to Hermione’s disapproval.

Hermione sent him an annoyed look that she hoped he interpreted as ‘get your feet off of the bloody desk’. He had started ever day like that since he returned from break and while she had believed it slightly amusing the first time, it was definitely not funny the fifth time. The teachers were obviously not impressed either since he had landed himself in detention twice already.

It had only gotten worse when Remus’s mother fell “ill” again two days ago and he had been away from classes after only three days of being back. Not only could Remus not control Sirius, but Sirius had been even more distracting and now she had two sets of notes to take.

“Mr. Black get your feet off of your desk and pay attention!” said Professor Warbeck, and Hermione heard James snort and she couldn’t help but grin as justice was served.

Reluctantly, Sirius removed his feet from the desk. Instead, he leaned closer to Hermione, James, and Peter. “My New Year’s resolution is to prove to you lot that I was right and she’s related to Celestine Warbeck.”

The three of them groaned. Ever since the first Hogsmeade trip he had been trying to convince them that their tiny professor was related to the singing sensation.

“Maybe your resolution should be to stop getting detention at least once every week,” hissed Hermione, annoyed that he kept distracting her from the class.

“No way, that’s a skill! Not a problem!” he whispered back.

“Mate, I think it’s time for you to throw in the towel,” said James under his breath.

“Oh?” said Sirius, arching his eyebrow.

Sirius had obviously taken this as a challenge and flashed a grin in their direction. Then, to their horror, Sirius’s hand flew into the air and he called out, “Professor, I have a question.”

Professor Warbeck almost did a double take as she took in Sirius, who never voluntarily participated. She stood up from her desk and walked over to where they were sitting.

“Yes, Mister Black?”

Sirius flashed a grin. “What’s your favorite type of music?”

If Professor Warbeck had been shocked by Sirius raising his hand, it was nothing compared to her visible surprise at the question. Hermione was already feeling the secondhand embarrassment coming as she anticipated where this was going.

“Would you say you liked music that was kind of… soulful, maybe even jazzy?” continued Sirius cheekily as the whole class stared at him.

“Get back to work, Mister Black,” said their professor, rolling her eyes.

“Oh come on, what’s wrong with music?” asked Sirius. “You must have a favorite singer… maybe even a… singing sorceress?”

Professor Warbeck’s eyes narrowed. “Mister Black, we are practicing non-verbal spells. That means I shouldn’t hear your mouth moving anymore.”

There were a few snickers throughout the room but Sirius was relentless. Across the room, sitting with Lily and the Hufflepuffs, Mary was staring daggers in Sirius’s direction.

“Are you or are you not related to Celestina Warbeck?” asked Sirius bluntly and the room burst into whispers.

“Detention, Mister Black. Tonight at seven.” sighed Professor Warbeck. “And if I hear one more peep from you for the rest of the class then your house loses points.”

Hermione swore that she heard Professor Warbeck mutter, “not how I wanted to spend my Friday night…” as she walked past them towards her desk.

~o~ 

When all of the day’s classes were finished Hermione sat in common room waiting for Remus to return from the Hospital Wing. She had both her notes and his notes from the past two days waiting in her bag so they could go over them when he returned like they did every time he missed class. In the meantime, she was reading from her Charms textbook trying to get ahead.

The common room was lively being that it was a Friday night. James and Peter were nowhere in sight and Sirius still hadn’t returned from his detention. Professor Warbeck was making him write lines and Hermione wondered how Sirius could stand to get detention as much as he did.

It wasn’t until close to curfew that Sirius made an appearance, grinning from ear to ear like Gryffindor had just won the House Cup and not like he just came from detention. When he spotted her sitting at one of the tables by the stairs he grinned even wider and walked towards her.

“Had a good detention, did we?” said Hermione sarcastically, setting her Charms book down on the table as he stopped beside her.

“Oh me and Felicia had a grand time,” said Sirius with a grin. He put his hand on the table and leaned against it. “And by that, she spent most of her time not in the room so it was a good chance for me to take a nap.”

Hermione’s mouth fell open. “You didn’t…”

“Of course not, Hermione,” said Sirius rolling his eyes. “I’m not that dumb. I just spent most of my time doing nothing.”

Hermione pursed her lips. “Well, I’m glad to see that you’ve learned your lesson and learned the error of your ways.”

Sirius began to laugh and Hermione had to do her best to not laugh along with him.

“Oi, Sirius!” yelled a voice from the boys’ stairwell and Hermione and Sirius both turned, as did a few others in the common room. “Get up here already!”

Hermione recognized the voice of James and she frowned. “How did he know you were here?”

Sirius grinned. “Magic.”

“Right…” said Hermione, rolling her eyes.

“Hey, why don’t you come up with me?” said Sirius. “I want to show you something.”

Hermione bit her lip, feeling suspicious. “Something isn’t going to blow up on me is it?”

Sirius laughed and shook his head. “Not this time.”

Hermione followed him up the stairs to the Marauders’ dormitory. Inside Peter and James were both lounging on their beds. Peter seemed to be sorting through his collection of Chocolate Frog cards while James had two unusual objects beside him on his bed. A blank Marauders’ Map and a mirror.

It took Hermione a second to realize what the mirror was, but then she remembered Harry receiving one as a gift from Sirius. Harry had mentioned to her that the mirror Sirius had given him was part of a set that he and his father used to talk to each other when they were in separate detentions. That would explain why Sirius seemed so cheery, he probably had the other one in his bag and chatted to James the whole time. The map also explained how James knew Sirius was back in the common room, he had been waiting for him.

James and Peter both looked up as she walked into the dormitory after Sirius. Peter seemed shocked to see her there and immediately sat up straighter. James, on the other hand, regarded Sirius and Hermione curiously.

“Admiring yourself, James?” asked Hermione, gesturing her head towards the mirror.

James’s curious expression vanished and his face broke into a grin. “Oh you know it.”

“What are you doing up here?” asked Peter and Hermione raised her eyebrow at him, slightly offended. “Not meaning that in a rude way of course… just curious.”

“Sirius said he had to show me something,” said Hermione defensively.

“Ah, and that I do,” said Sirius with a smirk. He grabbed her under her elbow and began to lead her. “Follow me.”

He walked her over to his little area of the dormitory. “What do you think?” he said proudly as he gestured to the area.

Hermione was confused. She didn’t exactly know what she was supposed to be looking at other than his messy sleeping quarters. Half expecting a prank to happen, she sent Sirius a questioning look.

“What am I supposed to be seeing?” she asked.

Sirius gave a frustrated groan and grabbed both of Hermione’s arms from behind. Before she could protest, he turned her entire body towards the wall and pointed past her.

That’s when she saw what he was trying to show her. He had hung up the motorcycle poster she had gotten him for Christmas and she couldn’t help but smile.

“Oh, Sirius. I’m glad you liked it,” beamed Hermione, turning back towards him. “Sorry I missed it, I guess I hadn’t really noticed a change in the wall décor.”

She sat down on the edge of Sirius’s bed and he followed her, flopping down on his stomach making the whole mattress shake.

“Hang on,” said Sirius, arching his eyebrow. “You’ve been in here before?”

He looked around the room at Peter and James waiting for an answer.

“Not with me,” shrugged Peter.

“With me,” said James nonchalantly.

“What? When?” asked Sirius.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Sirius,” said Hermione, rolling her eyes. “It was on Halloween when I needed to borrow a scarf.”

Then, the door opened and Remus walked into the dormitory. He looked pale and rundown and his robes fell slightly crooked on him. His one shoulder was slightly exposed and Hermione noticed that his shoulder was wrapped again; he must have torn it open again during his transformation like he had last term.

When he spotted Hermione he stopped and quickly straightened his robes hiding the wound from sight. Hermione quickly averted her eyes from his shoulder and pretended to not have noticed anything, and if Remus had been suspicious that she had seen it, he didn’t show it. He did, however, look surprised to see her there, sitting on Sirius’s bed.

“Hermione,” he said, his eyes still wide. He looked between Hermione, the bed, and the other three boys as if he were trying to piece things together.

“Hello, Remus,” beamed Hermione, excited that he was back. There hadn’t had much time for her to catch up with him after the break as the full moon came so quickly and he was gone again. “It’s good to see you.”

A crooked grin spread across his face and he walked further into the room. “It’s good to see you too, but I must admit that I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

“I invited her up,” said Sirius. “Plus the common room is unusually crowded tonight.”

“I noticed,” said Remus.

“He brought her up when he came back from detention,” said Peter.

Remus raised his eyebrow and looked at Sirius. “With whom?”

“Warbeck,” said James before Sirius could answer. “He tried to get her to confess to being related to Celestine Warbeck during class.”

“It was actually embarrassing to sit next to him,” said Hermione somberly, shaking her head.

Remus smacked himself in the forehead and Hermione stifled back a laugh.

“It was his third detention this week,” added Peter and Sirius sent him a look.

“Third!” gaped Remus, his mouth hanging open.

“It’s a skill, I say!” defended Sirius with a grin. “And my New Year resolution is to prove that she is related to her. It’s only the second week into 1977, do you already want me to fail?”

“Maybe your resolution should be to stop getting detention,” sighed Remus, rubbing his temples.

“That’s what I told him!” said Hermione and Remus looked over at her and grinned again and she smiled back.

“You lot are a bunch of bullies,” whimpered Sirius, flopping down on his mattress next to Hermione.

Hermione grinned down at him at how ridiculous he was being. And as much as she enjoyed watching the boys interact with each other, she did have plans to go over notes with Remus.

“Well, it’s getting late. Remus would you like to go discuss the notes that you missed?” she asked.

“Yes, let’s go.”

Hermione stood up and swung her bag over her shoulder.

“Have fun you two,” grinned Sirius, resting his chin on his hands, his feet swinging behind him on the bed. Remus rolled his eyes at him before turning to look at James, his eyes then fell on the map on James’s bed

“James, would you mind if I borrowed your parchment?” he said innocently.

“What?” said James, pulling the blank map closer to him. “Don’t you have your own?”

“You can never have too much. If I don’t end up using it I’ll return it,” reasoned Remus and James narrowed his eyes, reluctantly handing over the map. Hermione tried to hide her smirk at Remus’s attempt to make sure they weren’t followed. Or at least she assumed that’s why he wanted the map.

Remus cleared his throat and smiled at Hermione as he stuffed the map into his bag. “Alright, let’s go.”

Grinning to herself, Hermione waved goodbye to the other boys and followed Remus out of the dormitory,

It didn’t take them long to reach the unused classroom they usually went to after Remus returned. The castle was quiet now that it was after curfew and Hermione peered into the classroom to make sure no one else had decided to take a late night stroll there. It appeared empty and Hermione opened the door and stepped inside.

“Wait,” said Remus quietly. “I think I heard something….”

He stood in the threshold and looked both ways down the hallway, checking to see if people were coming. Hermione held her breath, Remus may not get in much trouble being out after curfew as a prefect but, unlike Sirius, she did not want to get detention. But she did have to admit, breaking the rules did give her a kind of rush and she enjoyed these secret note sharing sessions with Remus.

“I guess it was nothing,” said Remus after a moment and he carefully shut the classroom door behind them.

They walked over to the desks by the window, as to get the most natural light from the moonlight that poured through it. Only a few torches were lit in the room and they didn’t want to risk lighting the rest. Remus hopped up on one of the desks and Hermione sat on top of the desk opposite him.

“So what did I miss?” asked Remus with a grin. His green eyes seemed to sparkle in the moonlight that poured in through the windows.

“Well what do you want to go over first?” she asked as she removed the notes from her bag.

“Hmmm,” mused Remus. “How about Defense Against the Dark Arts. It is my favorite afterall.”

Hermione grinned to herself. Of course it would be his favorite. “I had a feeling it was.”

Remus grinned back at her. “Well it’s clearly the best. Do you not agree?”

“I’d say Arthimancy was my favorite actually,” said Hermione with a smile.

“Ah, I have a feeling it was as well,” said Remus with a nod. “We can start with that if you’d like.”

“Oh no, this is about you,” said Hermione, finding her Defense notes. “Besides, we’ve been studying non-verbal spells in Defense Against the Dark Arts and that’s something that will help with all of the wand-based subjects.”

Remus frowned as she handed him his notes and he began to flip through them. “That’s difficult magic, how is everyone holding up with it?”

“It’s not so bad,” shrugged Hermione. “James and I have managed to do some nonverbal spells so far but Peter seems to be struggling. Sirius is too busy harassing Warbeck to actually pay attention.”

At that, Remus smirked. “I can’t say I’m surprised.”

Hermione sighed. “He’s worse when you’re not around.”

“I’m sorry about that,” said Remus, slightly frowning again.

Hermione flushed. “Oh no, I’m not blaming you at all, Remus! Of course not, I didn’t mean to sound insensitive. I think it’s wonderful that you help your mother and it’s terrible how sick she gets… But it is so much nicer having you around.”

Her words managed to get him to half smile. Her heart ached as she wondered how he must be feeling.

“And not just because you keep Sirius in check… I’ve missed you, you know,” she found herself saying before she could stop herself. It just came out and she surprised herself with how much she meant it. It was almost overwhelming. “I was only able to see you for a little while before you had to leave.”

Now Remus fully smiled, a smile that made Hermione relax. “I’ve missed you too, it really was a shame that I was only back for three days before leaving again.”

“Hogwarts isn’t the same without you,” said Hermione. “I’m glad you and Lily wrote so much over break, it was nice. It made me feel less… alone.”

“I’m glad you wrote back,” said Remus earnestly. “My friends mean everything to me so writing to them over breaks is one of the few things that keeps me from going mad sometimes. I enjoy being home but it’s so much quieter and lonelier after being here for so long.”

Hermione’s heart grew warm at the way Remus talked about his friends. He truly was the most caring person she’s ever met. “You have a heart of gold, Remus Lupin.”

He grinned at her. “As do you, Hermione Dawson. But one good thing did come going home. I got that job at the bookstore. I’m still going to thank you for that.”

“I’d say you earned it by knowing the perfect thing to get me,” said Hermione. “I don’t think I properly thanked you for the book. It means more than I can tell you.”

She wished she could better explain to him how much she meant it but by the look in his eyes she had a feeling he understood.

“Of course,” said Remus warmly. “I’m just glad you like it, and also that you didn’t already have a copy.”

Hermione laughed. “Even if I did have a copy I would still have loved it. You can never have too many copies of your favorite book.”

“That’s true,” said Remus with a nod. “You could have a copy here and a copy for your house. If you keep getting copies then you could put one in every room.”

Hermione smiled at the thought of having enough copies of Hogwarts: A History for each room in her house.

“We could have enough copies to give to our friends so we aren’t the only ones to have read it,” joked Hermione and Remus chuckled.

“Okay, we really should get back to work,” said Hermione through her own laughter. “Do you want to attempt a nonverbal spell?

“It’s worth a shot,” said Remus casually.

He set his notes down on the table beside him and pointed his wand at them. His eyes narrowed and Hermione could tell that he was concentrating hard on his notes, and Hermione assumed he was trying to levitate them, or at least that’s what she hoped he was doing. The last thing she wanted was for them to burst into flames. After a moment of nothing happening he lowered his wand and pursed his lips.

“It would have been remarkable to be able to do that on your first attempt,” said Hermione kindly.

Remus shrugged. The small movement caused his robes to slightly fall off of his shoulder, exposing the bandages underneath. He didn’t seem to notice it but Hermione stared at the bandages. His wound must have reopened because red splotches were slowly appearing on the white cloth.

“I guess it was a long shot—”

“Remus,” interrupted Hermione cautiously, “your shoulder…”

Remus quickly looked down at his exposed shoulder and immediately stood up from the desk when he saw the blood. Hermione stood up as well and took a step closer to him but when he saw her approach him he quickly took a step backwards and stumbled into another desk.

“I-I can explain how I got this while I was away…” stammered Remus, trying to cover up his hurt shoulder as if Hermione would forget about it if she couldn’t see it anymore.

“Remus, stop moving away, you’re hurt,” said Hermione with worry. She took another step forward and this time Remus couldn’t move away due to being against a desk. “You’re bleeding.”

Gently, she reassuringly placed her hand on Remus’s arm, who shuddered at her touch. She looked into his scared eyes and could visibly see him holding his breath as he anticipated her response.

“I tripped in one of the corridors earlier… I was too busy worrying about my mum and wasn’t paying attention to where I was going… When I fell I cut my shoulder open on a suit of armor and I didn’t want to bother Madam Pomfrey so I just patched myself up with some cloth and gauze,” he said lamely.

It was a weak story and she could tell that he knew it as well. There was a sense of pleading in his green eyes that silently begged her to accept his story. Pity swelled up inside her and she had to turn her attention away from his eyes for a moment before she’d start crying. She knew the last thing he would want was her pity.

“It isn’t bleeding too badly,” she said, taking a step back and avoiding Remus’s gaze. “You should probably go to Madam Pomfrey and have her replace the bandages.”

He hastily began to agree when his expression went blank and he took a step away from her.

“Replace the bandages…” repeated Remus quietly under his breath.

In that moment, Hermione realized that she had misspoken and her stomach dropped. Regular wounds wouldn’t need bandages in the wizarding world, it would be a simple fix, but not ones caused by a werewolf. Not ones that were cursed.

“Oh! Obviously Madam Pomfrey would be able to just heal it…” Hermione added quickly, feeling her face drain of color. “No need for more bandages. You know, sometimes I still forget how extraordinary magic truly is.”

But from one look at Remus’ face she knew that he wasn’t buying it. She had a feeling she wouldn’t be able to pass it off as a slip of the tongue or a simple mistake due to being muggle-born. He knew her too well.

She looked back into Remus’s eyes and saw the same intensity in his face that she saw from his adult self in the Department of Mysteries when he had told her to run. It was a look of pain and fear that pooled through his green eyes that shook her to her core.

“You don’t… do you kno-?” he stammered as he gripped the desk from behind him so tightly that his knuckles turned white, and she could see that his hands shaking slightly.

“I-I don’t know what you’re referring to,” said Hermione. She turned away from him and looked out the window at the no longer full moon and hoped he’d let the conversation drop. Soon he’s go back to thinking she didn’t know anything and they could be friends again. She didn’t want to ruin everything after how close they’d gotten, she didn’t think she could bear to lose him.

There was a long pause and the only sound coming from the room was from the wind blowing over the grounds outside. Hermione knew by the look that had been on Remus’s face that he wasn’t just going to pretend this never happened.

With a sigh, she turned back towards him and gave him her most sympathetic, almost pleading look. “Oh Remus… I swear I won’t tell anyone.”

His eyes widened and he released the desk he was gripping and instead silently sat down on top of it in a defeated sort of way and closed his eyes.

“You know,” he said in a voice that was too calm.

Hermione took a deep breath and slowly walked over to where Remus was sitting and sat on the desk across from him. She noticed him peeking through his eyes as he watched her sit across from him but he didn’t make eye contact.

“Yes,” was all she could manage to say.

He looked up at her with a mixture of confusion and fear. “Why haven’t you gone running to tell everyone my secret? I’m dangerous, I’m a monster.” He spat the last word out with enough venom that it caused her to flinch.

Her mouth fell open in astonishment that someone as kind and compassionate as he could think so little of himself. “You are not a monster, Remus! You are far from one!”

The amber torchlight reflected in his eyes and she noticed that they were watering up. “But I am a monster, Hermione! I’m- I’m a werewolf!”

He had done it. He had finally said the word the two of them had been avoiding saying since the revelation of his condition.

There was a moment of silence and she could hear his quick paced breathing in the quiet room.

“That doesn’t make you a monster, Remus,” said Hermione, her own voice shaking as she held back tears.

His face was now in his hands and he wouldn’t look at her. “How long have you known?”

When she didn’t response right away he looked up, his green eyes blazing. “How long? How did you find out?”

His voice was hard and icy. There was a hint of anger, fear, and bewilderment in it that she had never heard before. It made her want to run, but she didn’t know whether she wanted to run away or run to comfort him. Instead, Hermione stayed where she was and swallowed hard before speaking.

“Where I’m from, we were taught very specifically what to look for when identifying the signs of lycanthropy,” she said cautiously. “I’ve had my suspicions ever since the first full moon of the term. Just little hints here and there… and also that your nickname happens to be Moony.”

She gave him a weak smile which he did not return and her face fell.

“I am a monster, Hermione,” he said darkly. “What you must think of me...”

“That doesn’t change who you are, Remus!” said Hermione, practically begging him to understand that she wasn’t afraid of him. “Or what you mean to me! You’re still my friend no matter what, that won’t change!”

Remus’s mouth fell open and his wet eyes released a single tear that slowly slipped down his pale face. The moonlight that poured into the room reflected off of it as it fell from his face and hit his robes. He shut his mouth and rolled his neck before turning away from her and choked out a short sob before regaining his composure.

Hermione made a move forward to comfort him but he suddenly jumped of the table. The quick movement startled her and she took a step back. She realized her mistake immediately as he misinterpreted her surprise as fear and his eyes went wide.

“I have to get out of here…” he half whispered in a broken voice.

Before Hermione could stop him he quickly shoved his notes into his bag and rushed for the door.

“Remus, where are you going?” called out Hermione, she could hear the desperation in her own voice.

“I need to get out of here, I need to think,” he muttered quickly as he strode past her.

“Remus!” she called as she whipped around to face him but it was too late.

He had already gone out the door.

.:~*~*~*~*~:. 

“Do you dare me to put all of these in my mouth at once?” asked James.
He held out his hand to show Sirius and Peter a colorful assortment of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans.

“That is going to taste disgusting,” said Peter with a grimace from his four-poster bed.

Sirius, on the other hand, stopped reading his motorcycle magazine and looked at James as if Christmas had just come again.

“If you do it and manage to not spew all over our dormitory, Prongs, I’ll give you a Galleon,” said Sirius. He got off of his bed and went to his trunk and dug through it. He reappeared with a shiny gold Galleon resting in the palm of his hand.

James smirked at his best friend. “I think I’ll accept that challenge.”

He was now about to be one Galleon richer.

With Sirius and Peter eagerly looking on, James shoved the handful of beans into his mouth and bit down.

There was an odd mixture of delightful fruity flavors with a hint of sweaty socks. Soon bad flavors became overwhelming and he had to concentrate hard on trying to swallow them. It tasted AWFUL.

But he wasn’t going to spit the lump of disgusting beans out, no.

He was going to win that Galleon.

His eyes watered and he stared down Sirius as he chewed more forcefully to show his
dominance; which ironically made Sirius’s grin widen. Peter looked a little green.

After a few more moments, James swallowed the beans and wiped his tears away before pushing himself into a standing position on his bed.

“I am King of the beans,” he declared with his hands on his hips.

A scoff came from Sirius’s bed. “More like bean brain,” he said as he threw the Galleon and James swiftly dodged it. It barely missed hitting James’s Gryffindor banner as it hit the wall and fell to the floor.

At that moment, the dormitory door swung open with such force that it slammed into the wall creating such a loud bang that caused Peter to jump.

Remus stood on the threshold with his green eyes wet and as wide as plates. He was breathing heavily, as if he were running from something.

James had been slightly put off that Remus had taken the Marauder’s map when he left earlier. It was as though Remus hadn’t trusted him not to follow him and Hermione. Remus obviously hadn’t even used the map since he didn’t notice James following the two of them under his invisibility cloak until Remus had closed the classroom door on him.

But James didn’t even think about that now as Remus stood ash faced in the doorway. The only thing he could focus on was how worried he was for Remus.

“Remus?” asked Peter cautiously. He sat up a little straighter on his bed and looked at Remus with a worried expression.

“She knows,” breathed Remus, not even moving.

“Remus, what’s the matter?” asked James urgently. He dropped into a sitting position on his bed and bounced a few times. “What’s happened?”

“Hermione knows,” said Remus, a little bit louder that time.

“She knows you have a crush on her?” asked Sirius, who had gone back to reading his magazine.

Remus looked at him with a bewildered expression. “What? What are you—I don’t have a crush on her…”

“Oh… right…” said Sirius, trying to hide a smirk.

There was an awkward silence while Remus looked confused before he shook his head. “She knows.”

The emphasis on Remus’s last word struck James with a realization.

“She knows you’re a werewolf,” he said and Remus flinched at his statement, confirming his suspicion.

Peter gasped and Sirius put his magazine down and looked startled.

“You told her?” gaped Sirius.

Remus shook his head. “She knew. She said she’s known since the first full moon of the term when I missed class.”

“And she just brought this up to you randomly?” asked Peter looking horrorstruck.

“No, my- my shoulder,” said Remus. He pulled his robes slightly to reveal the white bandages on his shoulder with spots of fresh blood on them. “The cut opened and my robes weren’t completely covering it. She noticed it bleeding, and Hermione… well… Hermione’s no fool; Madam Pomfrey would be able to heal wounds in an instant… but not cursed ones.” 

James stared at Remus’s frightened expression, at a loss for words.

“What are we going to do?” asked Sirius, his face was pale and emotionless.

“We can’t let her know,” said Peter.

“It’s already too late for that…” said James. His mind was racing as he tried to think of a solution.

“One of you could obliviate her! Wipe her memory!” said Peter urgently. “James, use the map and find her!”

“Are you mad, Wormtail?!” said Sirius, with his eyes wide. The atmosphere in the room grew tense in that instant.

“Do you have a better idea, Sirius?” demanded Peter with a fearful look in his beady eyes.

“Well, no—but we can’t just go around obliviating people!” said Sirius, looking aghast.

James, on the other hand, wondered if that could work. Right now his priority was protecting Remus, but then he felt sick at even imagining the possibility of him having to do that, or anyone doing it. “I don’t even know how to properly wipe a memory,” he said honestly. He only knew the incantation, he couldn’t risk doing Hermione harm.

Peter began to argue and soon James, Peter, and Sirius were all fighting over how they would deal with the situation.

“Quiet!” yelled Remus, who was still standing by the door, looking pale and shaking slightly. “No one is obliviating anyone!”

The room grew eerily quiet, the only sound was the whistle of the wind from outside the window and the occasional pop from the heating stove in the center of the room.

“We’re… we’re not obliviating Hermione,” said Remus with finality. “There has to be a better way to deal with this…”

Peter looked down at his hands. His face had gone red with shame and James felt kind of bad for the bloke.

“What do you supposed we do, Moony?” said Sirius, looking grave.

“I-I,” babbled Remus, a wild and desperate look still haunted his eyes. “I don’t know…”

“If she’s known the whole time why hasn’t she said anything yet?” wondered James out loud and Remus just shrugged but stayed quiet.

“I don’t think she’s going to tell anyone. Not if she’s known this long,” said Sirius. “Maybe we can trust her?”

“I don’t know…” said Peter.

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see,” said Remus somberly.

And the rest of them nodded.

Chapter Text

Chapter 17 - Paranoia

Hermione didn’t know how long she stood staring at the classroom door. It was still ajar from Remus running out of the room, and she just stayed frozen, silently hoping and praying that he would walk back through it; that he would return and understand why she had not told him what she knew, and he’d accept it, proving that she hadn’t just ruined everything.

What felt like hours passed as Hermione stayed rooted to the floor of the room, soundlessly holding her breath as she waited to hear Remus’s returning footsteps. But the only thing she could hear was the whistling of the wind in the darkness coming from the other side of the large panes of glass of the classroom and her own heartbeat beating rapidly in both her chest and in her head.

Soon, the realization began to sink in as she continued to stare numbly at the open classroom door: that Remus was not going to return. Her legs began to grow weak, and she could feel herself slowly stumbling backwards until she felt a desk behind her. Her hands quickly grasped the wooden edge of the desk to brace herself against it to keep herself from falling to the cold floor.

What had she done?

A million thoughts began to simultaneously race through her mind as panic was creeping its way up her body, making her grow cold. When suddenly, an idea clicked into place and soon Hermione was running out the classroom door just as Remus had. How long ago had that really been? Time felt purely like an illusion at this point, and Hermione knew all too well how deceiving time truly was. But one thing she did know for a fact, as her feet pounding along the stone floors of the corridors as she ran:

She needed to get to Dumbledore.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

It was cold in the Charms classroom that January morning, but that didn’t seem out of the ordinary, given that the entire castle had been growing slowly colder in the past week since the last full moon.

Remus held his wand out in front of him absentmindedly, twirling it between his fingers, not really paying attention to the nearly empty room around him as he waited for the rest of the class to fill in and begin. Twirling his wand probably wasn’t the safest of things to be doing, but his mind was too preoccupied, against his better judgment.

The longer he sat there, the more he began to regret skipping breakfast and just coming straight to the classroom so early. At least if he had gone to breakfast he’d have a distraction from his thoughts, but the idea of food made his stomach feel unsettled, he hadn’t been able to eat a full meal since he had last seen Hermione; and neither him nor the other Marauders had seen her at all since he had returned on Friday.

The weekend was over and there had been no sign of her anywhere, and Remus could not get rid of the pit that had taken up, what seemed to be, a permanent residency in his stomach.

When he hadn’t seen her the next day, he had assumed she was just keeping her distance. After all... it was him who had made a run for it and left her behind in the classroom. But one day turned into two, and then when the weekend came and went and meals had passed, she had not made an appearance. He didn’t know what to make of it.

That night he hadn’t been able to sleep, after hours of staring into the darkness he instead had decided to see where she was on the Marauder’s Map. He knew it was pathetic, but he had to be sure that she wasn’t going to tell anyone. This was his life at stake, and as much as he wished he could respect her privacy, he feared far too much for his own.

The longer he stared at the map the more slimy and disgusting he felt. He hated it, but he had to be sure she wasn’t telling anyone his secret. It felt like it was pointless, even if she were with people, how would he be sure what she was saying to them? But at least knowing where she was in that moment gave him the smallest sense of comfort. When he had finally dozed off that night, the last place he remembered seeing her name on the map was still in that old unused classroom. But when he had woken up it seemed like she had disappeared from the map completely. After double and tripling checking the map that Saturday morning, he still could not find her name anywhere. It made no sense. Was she leaving the castle? She couldn’t be…

Peter had been right; things weren’t clearly adding up as he wished they would. Deep down he knew Hermione was hiding something, they all did. Did he believe she was dangerous? Well, he hoped not, but her finding out his secret… that was not good at all. Logic told him that any minute she could tell someone, but his heart protested against that notion; that Hermione wouldn’t do that…

But what he did know for sure was that he no longer cared. There was this feeling within him that he couldn’t shake, and he knew deep down that he believed he could trust her. Whether he trusted she was telling him the whole truth, he wasn’t sure… but he did trust her with this secret, and essentially his life. If she had known all year what would change now?

After his pure panic and paranoia had worn down that night, he was sure that the Hermione he knew and cared so deeply for would keep his secret, and he wanted nothing more than to speak to her… wherever she was. It was why he decided not to share with his fellow Marauders the odd predicament of her not being visible on the map anymore, knowing full well that they would probably jump to the worst conclusions. So, after he tucked it away back in James’s trunk that morning, he did not touch it again.

He stopped twirling his wand and stared down at the desk in front of him in shame. If he hadn’t have reacted like that would she be sitting beside him right now in class? Had he scared her off? What if she transferred back to Beauxbatons? Was that even a possibility? No, that would be ridiculous. If she had left everything behind to start a new life at Hogwarts, he couldn’t imagine she would leave just because of him. That would be giving himself far too much credit. Yet, the lump in his throat seemed to get thicker at the thought of her leaving.

“You alright there, mate?” said a voice from besides him, and Remus jumped slightly in his seat and turned towards the voice. Sirius had his eyebrow raised as he approached the desk, followed by James and Peter. “You have this look as if you’re on another planet.”

“Was she at breakfast?” Remus quietly asked as Sirius, James, and Peter took their seats around him. He didn’t bother answering Sirius’s question.

There was no sense in even waiting for any of them to speak to know the answer based on the looks the three other Marauders exchanged.

“Nah, mate,” said Sirius with a small frown when the other two boys didn’t respond. “No sign of her still…”

Remus sighed softly and leaned back into his chair and looked back down at the desk in front of him. The whole thing was ridiculous; at first, he hadn’t even wanted to see her after she admitted she knew. Now she was all he wanted to see and talk to, but maybe now she didn’t want to be around him.

While he had wondered whether she would be beside him if he had stayed with her, the opposite thought began to creep through his head and root itself there as well. What if he had stayed in that classroom last Friday night and she slowly realized it was a mistake to be his friend and she left him? Was that what she was doing now? There was no way he would be able to bear that pain. He could barely handle the uncertainty it, having a clear answer may be the death of him.

The room slowly grew louder as students began to fill the room. Remus watched as Lily and Mary entered the classroom, talking casually to Michelle Pickett and Claudia Mahoney from Hufflepuff. His heart gave a small leap, hoping maybe he would see a girl with bushy brown hair trailing behind them, but he was only disappointed when it was just the four of them. Sadly, he watched as they crossed the room and took their seats with the rest of the Hufflepuff girls, Alexa, Doris, Joana, and Sarah.

He watched them for a moment and Mary broke off her conversation with Claudia to look over at him. There was a slight look of confusion on her face but no trace of accusation in her eyes as she regarded him. That was a good sign, right? That Hermione hadn’t told them his secret? Claudia followed her gaze and when she saw him she gave him a warm smile and a small wave. Remus gave an automatic wave back, his stomach feeling more unsettled as he wondered how much the rest of them knew about what was going on or where Hermione was. What had Hermione told Mary and Lily about why she wasn’t in class? He returned his gaze to his desk just as the bell rang.

“Settle down, class, settle down!” piped the tiny Professor Flitwick as he made his way to the front of the room with a grin. There was the sound of rustling as the class took of their quills and notes out of their bags. “Good morning everyone, I hope you’re ready to start learning a brand-new spell! Today we are turning vinegar into wine!”

“Wouldn’t that be a transfiguration spell then?” called out Jared from Hufflepuff.

“Fantastic question Mr. Muller!” said Flitwick, “Normally yes, if we were to transform one thing into another it would fall under Transfigurations, but does anyone in the class care to venture why this is a Charms spell instead?”

The class was silent as Flitwick scanned the rows of students with a hopeful twinkle in his eyes, waiting for a hand that never came. Remus, too, scanned the classroom and his eyes fell on the door, once again hoping a certain witch would enter, because Remus was almost certain that Hermione would probably be the one to know the answer. A hand fell on his shoulder and Remus looked behind him at James who gave him a sad but knowing nod. He could almost hear James’s voice saying “It’ll be alright, mate.” Remus looked back towards the front of the class to an equally disappointed Flitwick who cleared his throat slightly.

“Well, to answer your question, Mr. Muller; the reason this is considered a charm is because it is not technically transforming one thing into another,” started Flitwick, sounding excited. “On the contrary, it is actually reverting the properties of the vinegar that it went through when it was oxidized from ethanol, and by doing so reducing it back to the state of being wine! Does that make sense?”

Clearly from the blank look on Jared’s face the answer was “no”, but he nodded and thanked Flitwick before turning towards Sarah and giving her a wink as Flitwick continued on.

A sort of resentment began to fill Remus. There was something about that wink that twisted his insides. He was so sure Hermione would have known the answer if she were there. In his mind he could clearly see how her hand would have shot in the air with her eyes wide with excitement and determination. He could hear how she would have spoken the answer so confidently and eloquently, how she would have held onto every word Flitwick said as she scrambled to copy everything that came out of his mouth into her notebook. The wink could have been from her to him, not Jared to Sarah. Well, he couldn’t actually picture Hermione ever winking at him the way Jared, who was dating Sarah, winked at her… clearly different circumstances… but he would give anything in that moment to see that proud smile, flushed cheeks, and gleam in her eye she got when she answered a question correctly and was praised for it.

But instead, he had to watch Jared not even bother to copy down what Flitwick had said.

The rest of the class went by at a snail’s pace, and Remus kept silently praying for it to end. Between exchanging glances at the door and the empty seat Hermione usually filled, he felt utterly defeated and alone, even while surrounded by the rest of his friends.

Where was she?

As much as he tried to concentrate on the murky brown liquid in the glass in front of him, he was making absolutely no progress turning the vinegar into wine. Normally, knowing that the rest of the class was also struggling with the spell would make him feel better about his own struggles, but today it just added to his utter sense of defeat.

The sound of a glass beside him shattering snapped him back into reality. Peter managed to make his vinegar turn to ice which then exploded across the room, dosing the entire class in small shards of ice. A few people screamed while others used textbooks or bags to cover their heads to protect themselves from the downpour.

“Okay, okay!” said Flitwick with a nervous laugh as he cast a small shield charm above his head as the ice and glass rained down. “I believe that is a good place to end for the day! Everyone’s homework will be to practice!”

Unfortunately for Remus, the rest of the day dragged on just as long as their first class had. It was filled with staring at classroom doors and empty seats, while ignoring the concerned looks from James, Sirius, and Peter, who would whisper things to each other anytime Remus was just out of earshot.

Meals were the same, and Remus spent most of the time pushing food around his plate rather than actually eating anything.

“Moony, are you ready to head back to the dormitory?” said Sirius from across the table.

Remus glanced up from his plate in front of him and looked at Sirius, as if just remembering he was there. He then became aware of the groups of students starting to make their way out of the Great Hall from dinner.

“You guys go ahead,” he said, as he absentmindedly pushed more mashed potatoes around on his plate. “I think I’ll stay here a bit longer and catch up with you guys later.”

“Remus, you can talk to us,” said James with a frown from beside Sirius. “I can’t imagine what’s going through your head right now… but, we’re here.”

Gratefulness spread through Remus as he looked at James and Sirius across the table, and Peter beside him with fondness. His best friends.

“It’s okay,” he said with a forced smile. “I want to stay until the end of dinner to see if she shows up at any point. She has to eat sometime…”

“You have to eat too, Remus,” said Peter with a frown, gesturing to the barely touched plate.

“I’ll eat more,” he said. Remus then picked up fork and shoved some mashed potatoes into his mouth. After sitting out for so long they were cold and a weird texture, but Remus refused to let his displeasure show. “See?”

The three boys gave him skeptical looks but eventually they left him to wait to see if Hermione would show up. Wanting to see if she would appear at dinner had only been a half truth. After he had said it, it did sound like a good idea. Hermione would have to eat at some point… and if she were getting food and didn’t want to be seen the best time to do that would be right at the end of dinner. But the other half of the truth was that Remus just needed to be alone with his thoughts without the curious looks and forced conversation from his caring friends.

The usual chatter and sounds of plates and silverware slowly became lonely silence as dishes on the tables began to disappear and students made their way out of the Great Hall. By the time the tables were entirely cleared, only a few groups of students remained at the tables, and not once did Remus see that head of bushy brown hair.

The walk back to the common room was silent. All of the overthinking he had done all day had finally taken its toll, and Remus’s brain just felt numb. If she wasn’t on the Map the other day and wasn’t going to meals what could that mean? Could she really just have… left?

When Remus crawled through the portrait hole he immediately heard someone call, “Remus!”

His heart gave a short leap at the high-pitched voice but it immediately fell when his eyes landed on Mary. She was sitting at one of the tables with Lily by the windows, each of them had a glass of vinegar out in front of them. Slowly, he crossed the room towards them. Maybe they would have some information on what Hermione was up to.

“Hello, Mary,” he said, trying his best to hide his disappointment. “Hello, Lily.”

“Did you just get back from dinner?” Mary asked, setting her wand down on the table in front of her. “We saw Sirius, Peter, and James come through a little while ago.”

“Yeah, I decided to take my time tonight,” he said, moving his hand to rest on the back of his neck. With his other hand he gestured towards the glasses in front of them. “Practicing for homework I see.”

“Yeah…” said Mary, her eyebrows furrowing. “It’s a tricky one.”

Remus nodded in agreement and Lily looked up at him and frowned, her green eyes looking at him curiously. “You haven’t… seen Hermione, have you?”

The question immediately sent Remus’s body on alert. Surely her two roommates would have seen her.

“Not since Friday night. I was actually going ask you that,” he said slowly, feeling his heart begin to race. “Why? Have you not seen her either?”

Mary and Lily exchanged quick looks of concern.

“No, we haven’t,” said Mary with slight alarm in her usual steady voice. “We haven’t seen her since we had come back from dinner on Friday. We assumed over the weekend she must have been busy studying or something… because you know how she can just disappear for a bit and ends up she was just hiding behind a stack of books in the library—”

“—Yeah we thought maybe she was just getting up before us and coming back after we’ve gone to sleep,” continued Lily. “It wouldn’t be the first time, but then she wasn’t at meals and it’s very unlike her to skip class…”

Remus’s heart was now hammering in his chest. Lily and Mary could be right with their first thought, maybe Hermione was getting up early and coming back late… But by the nervous looks on their faces he knew they didn’t believe it just as much as he didn’t. They were right, it didn’t seem like Hermione to skip class.

“I haven’t seen her since we went over notes together like we usually do when I’ve been gone. Which was Friday night,” he said with a shaky voice.

There was a short pause as Lily and Mary exchanged another look.

“Did something… happen?” asked Mary in a soft voice.

Remus’s stomach dropped.

“Why do you ask that?”

“You seemed off in class earlier. I was going to ask you when it ended but the look on your face when we got there…” Mary bit her lip slightly. “I thought it would be best to wait.”

“When we studied, she was fine,” said Remus. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but he could feel his face growing warmer as he omitted the whole truth. “I really have no idea where she could be, I’m actually a bit worried now…”

That part definitely wasn’t a lie, and Remus watched as Mary’s brown eyes softened at him.

“I’m sure it’s nothing…,” started Lily quickly. “But if she doesn’t show up tomorrow, I think we should mention it to Professor McGonagall…”

Remus stiffly nodded and looked down at his shoes. “If you guys do see her, will you let me know?”

“Of course, Remus…” Lily firmly, but there was a warmth emphasized in her tone and in her eyes.

“Thank you,” he said looking back up at the pair of them. “Have a good night,” he said before walking towards the stairs to the boys dormitories, feeling more confused than ever.

~o~

The rest of the night felt like a repeat of the past Friday. Remus lay in his four-poster bed with his curtains drawn and stared up at the canopy wishing for sleep to come and save him from his ever-running mind. Low, rhythmic, snores were coming from the direction of Peter’s bed, but Remus could hear James and Sirius whispering to each other from James’s.

“Should we be worried?” he heard, the voice was so low, barely audible to the point that Remus could not even distinguish whether it was James or Sirius. “Where do you think Hermione could be?”

“I’m not sure,” said the other one, equally as low. “But it’s freaking Remus out.”

Remus squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and tried to tune them out. He didn’t know what was worse, the whispers or the silence to let his own thoughts in. Knowing now that Hermione hadn’t even made an appearance in her dormitory added to his growing sense of panic and paranoia. Maybe she really had left the castle. Could she really have gone back to France? Was she afraid of him? Did some weird part of her think she could be doing him a favor by leaving? That certainly wouldn’t be true…What if she went back to Beauxbatons to tell all of her friends about her scary experience with a werewolf? The thought of strangers in France knowing his secret sent chills down his body.

At this point, he wasn’t sure what scared him more, the fear of being exposed by her or the fear of losing her. The answer should have been so obvious but instead his heart protested against what should have been the logical choice, making him even more frustrated with himself.

With his mind racing, Remus knew he wasn’t going to get much sleep again. Another long night. Turning over on his side, Remus leaned forward and reached through his curtains and opened his bedside table, grabbing a hold of a book.

As quietly as possible, he slipped into his pair of slippers and walked towards the door in the dark dormitory with the book clutched in his arm.

“Remus?” called out a questioning Sirius from the other side of James’s curtain as the door creaked open. But Remus ignored him and closed the door behind him and followed the stairs into the deserted Common Room.

Everything looked so still in that moment. The fire burned low, looking near the end of its life and the torches were nearly extinguished as well, casting the room in soft shadows. Remus made his way to the couch in front of the fire, where he would have the most amount of light and laid down. He untucked the book from under his arm and looked down at the cover for the first time to see what he had grabbed.

Hogwarts: A History.

Of course.

All he had wanted was a distraction, but he had somehow picked the one book in the whole world that Hermione loved more than anything, making it near impossible to not think of her. The universe was playing a nasty trick on him. Or maybe it was so kind of cosmic sign, but he didn’t know whether it was threatening him or teasing him.

He flipped through the pages casually, not reading in depth but reading here and there, enough to distract his mind until finally exhaustion took a hold of his body and he drifted off into a light, dreamless sleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter 18 - Heart to Heart

Hermione sat cross-legged in front of the fireplace in the Room of Requirement. The heat from the fire burned hot on her skin as she flipped through pages of books that were sprawled out around her.

She had gone through all of these books countless times since the summer, but there had to be something she must have missed. There had to be something that would help her find a way back to 1996.

Every day she had been stuck in the past she had tried so hard to be strong, but she felt weaker than she ever had in that moment. Everything inside her just wanted it all to end. She wanted to go home or to go away forever, away from the people she could potentially hurt. It would be in everyone’s best interest for her to be gone and to be back where she belonged, especially after she dropped knowing Remus’s secret on him and the internal torture it must be causing him.

The thought of Remus made the lump in her throat grow bigger. Remus had been the most amazing friend to her, and one of the people she cared the most about, not just in this timeline, but in her life. How could she do this to him?

She shook the thought from her head. Concentrate Hermione! You’re smarter than this, pay attention! She thought to herself as she continued to read from one of the books on time travel that Dumbledore had given her when she first arrived. This particular section was about Eloise Mintumble and her unfortunate stumble through time and her ultimate death.

“Her excursion to the past provoked a great disturbance to the life paths of all those she met, changing the present so dramatically that no fewer than twenty-five of their descendants vanished in the present, having been "un-born".”

Hermione swallowed deeply and then snapped the book shut in frustration and pushed it aside. This whole idea of her staying in the past until Dumbledore found a way for her to return home was not only seeming more and more ridiculous each day, but it was seemingly becoming increasingly more dangerous, and she could not fathom how Dumbledore did not seem to share her concerns. What was it he had said to her when she first arrived?

“I believe that the things you do most likely will not have any real effect on the future and things will happen as they should. Think of it as a stream. One ripple in the water might change things temporarily but eventually things return to how they should be.”

It was a ridiculous notion. Eloise Mintumble had only been stuck in the past for five days and the damage she did was irreversible. Of course, she had gone back in time hundreds of years, so a domino effect would have more weight than Hermione’s twenty years, but Hermione no longer trusted herself to be able to keep the timeline intact. She had already been there for months! What had she already changed without knowing? She was going to have to leave. She was going to have to run.

Heaving herself off the carpeted floor, Hermione brushed off her robes and gave a look around the room she had created with a sad fondness. It had been her biggest comfort for months. A part of her wished the room had the capability to make food so she could be able to live there for the next nineteen years, but even if it could, she couldn’t risk the chance of someone trying to get into the room. It would be safer if she were to gather the few belongings she had and left the castle.

She had been hiding out in the Room of Requirement all weekend pouring over book after book, begging herself to find more information but to no avail. But now that it was Monday afternoon and everyone was in class, she’d be able to get in and out of her dormitory without anyone noticing.

The castle was quiet as she walked down the corridor towards the Grand Staircase. Rarely was she able to wander the halls during class time. There was an eeriness to how still everything was around her, especially knowing how the classrooms around the castle were bursting with life while she was alone, making her way towards Gryffindor tower.

That same eerie quietness awaited her once she crawled through the portrait hole and into the deserted common room as she made her way up to the dormitory she shared with Lily and Mary.

She stood near the stove in the middle of the room, feeling the heat radiating off her skin. Hermione stared at the trunk at the end of her bed that Dumbledore had given her when she had first arrived. It would be easy, wouldn’t in? To just pack up and leave? To become a vagabond for a little more than nineteen years until it was safe for her to appear to the people she knew in her own time?

Numbly, Hermione pulled her focus from the trunk and gazed around the room. She looked at Lily and Mary’s four-poster beds with their belongings scattered around their trunks and bedside tables. It was like another punch to the gut as she realized that she would miss the two girls terribly. But she had to keep convincing herself this would be best for them.

A tear slowly made her way down her cheek as she walked towards her trunk and opened it. It didn’t contain many things: a few items of everyday clothes, school robes, her new scarf, her journals, the pair of enchanted socks, and lying on top was her copy of Hogwarts: A History.

What would be the best way for her to do this? She could shrink the trunk down into a small size and pocket it and then take off with her school bag. She could probably make it to the One-Eyed Witch Statue on the third floor before anyone noticed she was gone and escape into Hogsmeade through Honeydukes. Then she could get on a train at the station and just… go.... She had half a mind to tell Dumbledore she was leaving, to thank him for his attempts at helping her, but quickly decided against it.

Of course Dumbledore would continue to talk her out of it and tell her it was safer for her to stay. He had done just that on Friday night at the mere mention of her maybe distancing herself. But the more he claimed it would be better for her to stay, the less Hermione believed him. How could it possibly be safer for anyone for her to stay? He didn’t seem to be making any progress and the longer she was there, the more likely she was to ruin the timeline. She had already let dangerous information slip, information that could change the future and get herself and the people around her killed. Not to mention the emotional damage she was doing to the people around her, people she cared about. It would be best and safer for everyone if she were gone.

The thought of Dumbledore brought back the memory from the previous Friday night:

“Leaving would only cause more harm than good,” he said to her. “What would you expect to happen when I find a way for you to return to your time and you are not around for me to relay the news?”

Hermione stared at him, silent, tears in her eyes.

“There is no safer place for you to be than where I can ensure that you are safe and that the Ministry does not discover who you truly are and where you’ve come from, Miss Granger.” Hermione did not miss the emphasis he added to her surname. “Some contacts I have inside the Ministry and I have carefully worked to create a false life for you right beneath their noses so we can make certain your past, and the future, remain a secret while we work on a way for you to return home.”

This was all news to Hermione. Dumbledore rarely spoke about the length he was going to for her, and as appreciative for it as she was, she still did not fully believe that it was the right decision.

“But I’ve told you, tonight I accidently let Remus know something that I know. Something about him which is information I only ever learned because I’m from the future,” she said anxiously. “It’s clearly not safe for me to be here. I can’t trust myself anymore.”

“Did you tell Mr. Lupin how you acquired this knowledge?” he asked, peering over his half-moon spectacles.

“No.”

“Then there is no harm done!” he said as he clasped his hands together and leaned back in his chair.

Hermione gaped at him. “But what if I give away more information accidentally? It’s not safe! There has to be a way for me to limit my interactions…”

“No,” he said with an air of finality in his tone. “This is a risk we must be willing to take to keep you here and to keep you safe. The very moment I have more information about how to return you home, I will let you know. And I will get you home, Miss Granger. For now… continue to live your life and blend in. Make things right with Mr. Lupin and draw suspicion away from yourself.”

His words replayed over and over in her head. Hermione had spent most of her time since that talk going through those books again to find anything that could help either find her a way home or convince her that there could be a way she could stay that was safe. Could patching things up with Remus and avoiding suspicion really keep them all safe? Would time really work like a stream if she did not intentionally try to change anything? Dumbledore was one of the greatest wizards of all time so he must have some idea of what he was talking about. And she had to admit, the idea of making up with Remus was more than tempting. Guilt had been eating her alive ever since he had run out of the classroom.

Frustrated and confused, Hermione picked up her copy of Hogwarts: A History, one of the few consistent objects of comfort she had in both of her lifetimes. She slowly ran her thumb across the leather cover of it and felt her lower lip begin to tremble before slowly sinking to the floor. She lay the book gently on top of everything in her trunk again and buried her face in her hands and cried.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

Remus was only somewhat aware of his surroundings as he floated between consciousness and unconsciousness. There were moments of dreamless sleep that just seemed black and empty, with a sort of almost peaceful quietness to it. Then there were other moments where he was still far enough gone with sleep but still acutely aware of the night winds brushing up against the panes of glass, the ever-so faint cackle of the low burning fireplace, and the occasion tick of the clock that hung on the common room wall. But mostly, it was the constant shift between the calm of his light and occasional moments of sleep and the hollowness of his intrusive thoughts returning to torment his mind.

Suddenly, There was the ever so slight sensation of something upon his shoulder as he continued to sleep, gently pulling his consciousness to the surface but not enough to fully wake him.

“Remus...” said a gentle voice, that sounded like it was far off in the distance. It sounded soft, like a lullaby, almost like the way his mother would comfort him each night when he was scared to sleep after his attack. He welcomed the touch and the warmth of the voice, feeling more at peace.

“Remus?” said the voice again, louder this time.

It was loud enough this time to pull him completely out of his sleep. His body jerked up at the sound and his eyes flashed open. Standing in front of him with their hand on his shoulder was Hermione. Only after rapidly blinking his sleep away, he noticed the look on her face.

With the moonlight pouring in through the windows, her normal pale face seemed ghostly white. Remus had to blink again a few times to really process what he was seeing, and to make sure she wasn’t actually a ghost or a nightmare vision there to haunt him. No… she seemed opaque; she must have been real.

He didn’t know what to say, so he just scanned her face. Her glossed over eyes were somewhat guarded. There was a redness around them and a slight swollenness, which amplified the dark circles that had formed. He was almost certain she had been crying.

“Hermione…?” he croaked; his throat thick from sleep.

It took him a moment to realize he was still on couch in the common room, his book lay closed on the floor, as if it had fallen in his sleep. The fire in the fireplace was almost completely out at this point, only embers remained, glowing faintly beside him. He looked over at the clock on the wall and saw it was a quarter after four, and Remus immediately straightened up and looked back at Hermione’s ghostly face.

“Why are you sleeping in the common room and not upstairs in your bed?” she asked after a moment of silence, raising her eyebrow ever so slightly.

Remus had to fight back a laugh at the absurdity of that being her first question.

“Hermione… where have you been?” he asked her, ignoring her question. “I’ve b- we’ve been so worried.”

Hermione’s eyebrows pulled together as she took this in. She hesitated before she spoke but didn’t seem to be able to. “I-”

She stared tearfully at him, and took a deep breath, and Remus felt the urge to reach for her.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s my fault.”

They had spoken at the same time and then Hermione fully burst into tears.

Alarmed, Remus gave into his urge and reached out for her arm and gently pulled her onto the couch beside him as she trembled slightly. He shifted over slightly to give her more room while resting his hand softly on her back.

“I shouldn’t have run out like that,” said Remus, slowly rubbing her back in small circles, rethinking that moment regretfully as she sobbed beside him. Had his running out of the room really caused her that much pain?

“I understand why you did,” said Hermione, between choking sobs.

“What I should have said then is what I’m going to say now,” he said, looking down at her, and Hermione seemed to be holding her breath as silent tears streamed down her cheeks in anticipation. “I trust you.”

She looked up at him hopefully, rapidly blinking away tears.

“I won’t say I’m glad you know, or that I was planning on telling you…” Remus continued truthfully. He suddenly remembered they were sitting in public in the common room, so he lowered his voice to a soft whisper and moved closer to her on the couch, keeping his hand on her back. “But there is a slight relief having you here now, knowing you know. And knowing that I know I can trust you.”

Hermione let out a breath and Remus could visibly see her shoulders go down before speaking in an urgent but hushed tone. “You can trust me, Remus. I swear to you, I would never tell anyone!”

And he believed her, he really did.

“If anything, I’m only a bit worried at how quickly you worked it out,” he said in a whisper, scratching the back of his neck nervously with his free hand as his eyes quickly darted to and from the stairs leading to the dormitories. “Did you really figure it out from the first… full moon?” he said the last words at a barely audible level.

Hermione nodded. She gave one final sniff and wiped her remaining tears away and Remus took his hand off her back. “Nearly. Like I had said about when we learned about them… our professor was very… adamant… that we know how to spot one. He was extremely strict about it and made it his mission that we’d be able to see all of the signs. He was full of prejudice about the whole thing, but I guess he did properly prepare us,” she said. There was a slight anger in her voice that Remus could detect even at her low volume. Her disgust for the way her professor had taught them normally would have moved him if he hadn’t been so nervous about how she had put everything together. “I had only been suspicious the first time—it could have been a coincidence—but the signs just kept adding up and… well…”

Remus nodded grimly as she trailed off. “It’s funny how it’s my biggest secret and yet I’ve never actually been the one to tell anyone on my own terms.”

“James, Sirius, and Peter?” she whispered tentatively.

“They also figured it out on their own, during our second year,” he said, and he couldn’t help the small smile that formed as he remembered that feeling of relief after they had accepted him. A similar feeling was starting to grow as he stared at Hermione, suddenly becoming aware at how close she was to him, their knees almost touching as they leaned towards each other.

“Are they the only ones who know?” she asked, and the happy feeling vanished.

“Outside of my parents and the staff, only one other person knows besides them,” said Remus, with a frown and his stomach tightened. “Snape… but it’s not really something I’m supposed to talk about…”

Hermione gave an understanding nod, but Remus could see the curiosity burning in her wide eyes. But Remus was curious about something himself, as well as hoping to change the subject from Snape as quickly as possible.

“Hermione, where have you been? Lily, Mary, and I were ready to go to Professor McGonagall because we had no idea where you were.”

Hermione paled. “I thought it would be best to give some space. I thought I had upset you enough.”

Remus noticed she hadn’t said who the space was for, but he didn’t ask for clarification.

“I was just scared,” said Remus before he knew what he was saying. He could feel his face grow warm. It shocked and slightly embarrassed him at how easily he had admitted that to her without realizing what he was saying.

“I was scared too!” she whispered eagerly. “I hadn’t meant to scare you! Or hurt you!”

“I know,” he reassured. “If anything, I’ve just been more worried ever since. You just… disappeared... Where did you go?”

Hermione looked at him curiously, as if debating whether to respond or not. He had grown quite familiar with her slightly panicked expression when she had to do quick thinking whenever someone asked her a question she wanted to avoid. But he was surprised when she sighed softly and actually answered him.

“I have a secret myself,” she admitted softly, pulling her gaze away from him and looking at the floor.

Remus’s heart was now speeding up. “You can tell me anything, Hermione.”

She looked back at him after a moment’s hesitation and then, to his bewilderment, she stood up.

“I think it would be better if I showed you.”

She gestured towards the portrait hole and Remus tentatively stood up.

He followed her silently through the dark and sleeping castle, careful not to make noise since it was still after hours. Although she did not speak, she stayed directly next to him as they continued to walk. Occasionally she would steal ever-so-slight nervous glances towards him, almost if she were frightened that he would run away again. The silence between them continued until suddenly she stopped in the middle of a corridor on the seventh floor.

With a small sigh, she turned to look at him, examining his face curiously before she spoke.

“I thought it would be only fair since I know a secret of yours that I show you a secret of my own,” she said, her mouth was a hard line as she tried to remain serious, but Remus could see the small crinkle forming between her eyebrows as she looked at him, a look she would only get when she was rarely unsure of something.

There wasn’t any time to make a comment before she turned away from him and slowly walked a few paces down the hallway in an odd, almost dance-like fashion, which clued him in that he wasn’t supposed to follow her but instead observe. He would have been frozen in place regardless, the movements she was making were so un-Hermione like. Was she… pacing?

After walking back and forth a few times, Remus was ready to ask what was going on or if this was some odd practical joke, but he knew it couldn’t be, he couldn’t imagine Hermione doing that. He had just opened his mouth when he noticed a shape beginning to slowly appear and spread across the wall Hermione was facing. Still frozen, Remus stayed glued to the stone floor in the middle of the corridor as Hermione walked towards what became a door.

“I think this is something you may find interesting,” she said softly with a timid smile as she slowly pushed open the door.

A warm, amber light seemed to glow from the open door. As if in a dream, Remus felt himself begin to float forwards, unaware of his brain telling him to even begin to walk, but he followed her as she crossed over the threshold into the mystery room.

When he got to the door, he could feel the warmth of a fireplace and he was immediately greeted by the sweet scents of candles that reminded him of an autumn day. He could distinguish the smells of vanilla and cinnamon, it reminded him of the teas Hermione would drink in the mornings, and his body immediately relaxed.

“What is this place?” Remus breathed as he took in his surroundings. From the bookshelves lining the walls to the soft amber glow of the fire and torches, there was an enormous sense of serenity in the room and he couldn’t help but feel calm.

“You’ve really never been to this room before?” Hermione asked with wide eyes. There was a slight proud tone in her voice that Remus found amusing.

“Never,” he said, fighting back a laugh as Hermione’s brown eyes flashed with excitement before she forced her express back into neutral.

“It’s called the Room of Requirement, or sometimes referred to as the Come and Go Room,” she said, looking back at him delicately now but with a hint of a smile. “I discovered it when I was here over the summer. I spent most of my free time just wandering the castle and then I came across this.” Hermione gestured around them to the room.

“I’ve spent nearly six years now living in this castle and never once knew this was here…” Remus thought back to all the exploring he and done with his friends to mark places on the Marauder’s Map. They had discovered so many secret passages but never managed to find this room. “How does it work?”

“From what I was told, it only appears when someone really truly needs it.”

“And you needed this room?” asked Remus, still taking in the room around him, trying to notice every detail from the candles to the books to the pile of records in the corner that immediately grabbed his attention.

Hermione gave a small smile. “I’m afraid it’s rather embarrassing to be quite honest… Here, come sit,” she said as she grabbed Remus’s hand and began to lead him towards the red couch in front of the fire. The warmth of her hand in his spread throughout his body and he immediately felt a sense of comfort at her touch.

As they reached the couch, Remus sat down on what was probably the most comfortable cushion he had even been on. Hermione joined him and sat, cross-legged, beside him with her body turned towards him and she released his hand.

“Embarrassing?” asked Remus, his hand felt oddly empty and cold now.

“Yes, well,” continued Hermione, her gaze dropping slightly before looking him back in the eye with a sad sort of smile upon her face. “I’m afraid I wasn’t as well adjusted to being here as I would have liked everyone to know… Over the summer, right before term began, I had grown so homesick and was wandering the halls not knowing what to do with myself and this door just appeared to me. When I opened it, I had walked into my childhood sitting room.”

With a start, Remus gaped at her. “Is this—is this your childhood sitting room?” he asked as he took in his surroundings once again. It definitely did not look like any room he had seen in a house before. And why would the castle have a replica of her sitting room?

“Goodness, no!” said Hermione shaking her head with a small laugh that cracked in her throat. “It was actually the night that I first created this version of the room that Dumbledore had followed me here after I—well after I had broken down. When I asked how he found me he had said ‘There aren’t many things or places in this castle that I don’t know about’ and he explained what the room was.”

“But what exactly is this room? You said it was your home one night but then you created another?” asked Remus in confusion.

“Dumbledore explained to me that the room only appears when the person needs it the most and that it’s designed to fulfill your needs. So, when I felt homesick, it became a replica of home, and then when I needed comfort another time, it became this,” she explained as she gestured around the room. Remus definitely would have described it as extremely comfortable. “It was a place to escape to. But I’ve made some adjustments over the times I’ve come here. I believe the room must have some sort of sentience because it transforms to the user’s needs, almost as if it knows what you need before you yourself can even ask for it. Like for example if you really needed the toilets… it would show itself as a lavatory. It can create nearly anything you need, except food of course.”

Remarkable, Remus thought. The room was truly one of the most incredible pieces of magic he had ever witnessed. It was unbelievable that a place like this had been sitting here right under their noses after all of these years and they had never stumbled across it. Remus guessed it must be because they had never truly needed it before, or at least they were never near it when they had needed something. At that thought, his wonder grew into sympathy as he thought about how Hermione had only found it because she needed to.

“You said Dumbledore found you in this room after a breakdown…” Remus started, and Hermione smiled sadly at him.

“Halloween night,” was all she had to say and Remus simply nodded, feeling the knot in his stomach tighten again thinking back to that ghostly expression she had had on her face that night in the Great Hall before running off and disappearing. It made every ounce of sense that this room would appear for her after seeing the state she had become at that dinner.

“And you come here quite a bit?”

“I spent almost all of Christmas holiday here,” she said matter-of-factly.

“And this where you’ve been since Friday night?” he asked.

She gave a small smile and nodded, and then realization struck Remus. It was why he hadn’t been able to see her on the map.

“I can’t believe it,” he said shaking his head. “Well, obviously I can, but it’s just so amazing… What have you been doing for food if the room can’t make any? We never saw you at meals.”

With that, she gave a small, almost guilty, smirk. “Sneaking into the kitchens.”

Remus didn’t try to hold this laugh back but instead let it bark out, and Hermione too began to laugh softly.

“You’re full of surprises, aren’t you,” he said, staring at her fondly.

“Well, I knew where the kitchens were since I got food there over the summer,” said Hermione, her tone that was a mix of playful but also slightly defensive, but it only made Remus laugh again.

“You’re more of a rebel than I thought,” laughed Remus, shaking his head slightly. “I’m actually impressed that the great Hermione Dawson would actually break into the kitchens and take food.”

For a split second, Hermione’s smile faltered at his comment, but Remus was quick enough to catch it.

“What?” he said quickly. “I was only kidding. Of course you’d have to eat! It’s not as if the house elves mind visitors… we take food from there all the time…”

But Hermione was starting to shake her head quickly as she closed her eyes, forcing a smile on her face but the tremble in her lower lip betrayed her.

“No, no, it’s not that,” she said, looking back up at him, her eyes growing glassy again. She let out a quick and forced laugh. “I’m sorry! That just remined me of home—” she paused quickly before seemingly correcting herself. “Something that someone from home would say to me.”

“That you’re a rebel?” he asked in confusion.

“No,” she said thickly, shaking her head. “The ‘great Hermione Dawson’ part. It’s silly really…”

“It must not be silly if it’s making you feel this way,” said Remus softly, and she smiled wearily at him.

“It’s just been so hard… I’ve wanted to put on a brave face. I wanted to be a true Gryffindor. I wanted to make my friends and family back home proud of how I’ve learned to cope and that I’ve been strong, but all I can think about is how I’m slowly losing the people I care about. I feel like I’m losing a part of myself,” she said, tears now fully threatening to pour from her eyes once again. “Then there’s the confusion from how much I’ve enjoyed being here the last few months, and I just feel guilty! There would be days where I would not even think about my old friends who meant everything to me because I was so caught up in my friends and life here. And then the thought that I had may have ruined everything by letting your secret slip… it just made me feel like I was losing everyone all over again like when I first came here, and I didn’t want to lose you Remus.”

It was like being stabbed in the gut with a knife. Hermione rarely brought up her past or voluntarily mentioned her old friends. A part of him knew it must bring her pain which is why she often avoided the topic so much, but to hear about how it truly had pained her, and to see her crying again like she had all those months ago in the library, broke a piece of his heart.

“You’re much stronger than you give yourself credit for. And you aren’t going to lose us, Hermione,” he said, feeling his own throat grow thick. “Not possible.”

She gave him a weak smile and rubbed an escaped tear from her cheek. “Thank you, Remus. Honestly, you’re one of the things that have made being here much easier than I thought it would be.”

“I’m really glad you’re here, Hermione,” he said earnestly. “I’m glad you shared all of this with me. And I believe that this is where you belong.”

She gave him a tearful smile and then reached over and captured him in a hug.

“Remus, I am truly so sorry for everything. I never wanted you to know I knew, not until you ever felt I deserved to know. If you even ever wanted me to know. But I honestly mean it from the bottom of my heart that it does not matter in the slightest to me. You truly are my best friend here, and I want to do what I can to make this right.”

A moment passed before she released him and they stared at each other.

“Even though I am a monster?” he whispered, so softly he wasn’t sure if she would be able to even hear it over the crackle of the fire. But the sadness in her eyes quickly flashed into a look of determination and she grabbed a hold of his hand and clutched it tightly between her own, pulling herself closer to him.

“Oh Remus…” whispered Hermione.

Remus’s heart seemed to skip a beat at the way she just simply said his name. There was a strong sense of affection in her eyes that brought a strange feeling to his stomach.

“But it’s true,” he whispered back, feeling his mouth go dry and eyes begin to sting.

“You are not a monster, Remus,” she said fiercely, her brown eyes blazing as strongly as the fire in front of them. “You are the least monstrous person I know. You are kind, you are true, you are an unbelievable person. You are filled with compassion and one of the smartest people I know! You may think you are a monster, but all I see is how strong and brave you are. What you can’t control doesn’t define you, Remus, it’s who you choose to be that defines you, and the person sitting in front of me chooses to be an incredible person even in the face of darkness!”

He stared at her brown eyes that bore into his own with such an intense gaze. There was a pleading in them, as if she were asking for forgiveness and acceptance all at the same time. But it was so backwards… it should be him pleading for her acceptance… He should have been the one ashamed. He was the one who was the monster, the one who should be begging for acceptance and to show he was not a danger as she may think.

Remus had never met anyone like her before. So unbelievable selfless and willing to take the hit so her friends did not have to suffer. She had known his secret nearly this entire time.. this entire time! And yet, it had never mattered to her, it had never made a difference. When she looked at him she didn’t see a monster, or someone who needed to be hidden away to protect everyone around them. Instead, she saw him as intelligent, kind, compassionate… all adjectives that were never used to describe a werewolf. But to her, he wasn’t just a werewolf, he was a person. A person she cared for… her friend… her best friend… She was almost unreal sitting there facing him on the couch.

Remus felt his stomach tighten again as he stared at her, amazed at how lucky he had been to find someone so supportive and accepting of him. And in that moment, staring at her face illuminated by the amber glow of the fire, her warm brown eyes large and twinkling with acceptance and her hands still clutching his tightly, refusing to let go, Remus felt the wild urge to lean over and kiss her.

The feeling came on so suddenly and it was so intense that it shocked him with how great the desire was. He had never felt as strongly towards someone in his life before that moment and his whole body felt like it may explode. As soon as he processed his own thoughts, he felt himself jerk back both mentally and physically.

“Remus?” Hermione asked softly, tentatively removing her hands from his and folding her own politely in her lap as she stared at him, her right eyebrow slightly raised at his sudden movement.

A warm flush of shame quickly spread across his face as he broke eye contact and turned to face the blazing fire instead. “I’m sorry... I was just, overwhelmed I suppose,” he said quickly, cursing himself in his head for behaving so stupidly. And to think she had just called him intelligent.

“No, I’m sorry,” she quickly said, “I know this must be so overwhelming, I wish it all hadn’t happened so fast and I wish I hadn’t caused you so much pain. Maybe all of this has been too intense? I’ve never been good at… emotions or apologies or conversations at this level. I didn’t mean to upset you further.”

Remus turned back to look at her and there was a sadness in her eyes that made the guilt in his stomach even worse. They were both doing it again… him causing her pain while she took the blame for no reason. How many times had he already made her cry? A small sad pout rested on her lips and Remus’s heart began to beat heavily in his chest as the urge to just lean over towards her returned, but he continued to fight against it.

But she was right there, one sudden movement away, and it felt so right and natural. Over the past few months he knew he was getting more and more drawn to her but in this moment, there was an intensity he didn’t quite understand. His heart thundered in his chest as he looked into her big brown eyes, eyes that were full of acceptance.

Acceptance of him and the monster within.

“Hermione,” he started softly but firmly, hoping the sound of his hammering heart wasn’t loud enough for her to hear. “There is absolutely nothing to apologize for, I was the one who overreacted on Friday.”

“There is no proper way for a person to react to something like that,” said Hermione with a small, sad, smile. She took his hand back in hers and he stopped breathing again. “But I’m glad we could escape here now.”

I’m glad we could escape here now she said, and it made him remember something she had said not much earlier.

“Hermione… I know you wanted to share a secret with me as well, but if this was your room to escape to when you needed to be alone, why did you bring me here?”

He couldn’t tell if it was the glow from the fire or if she blushed slightly at his question. Or maybe it was wishful thinking. Either way the color that rose to her cheeks fascinated him as he took it in, not wanting to blink and miss a second of it.

“I don’t want to keep running, Remus,” she said softly. “Not from you. I wanted you to know that this is where I’ve been and where I come, and that I trust you and that I want to be able to share this with you if you so choose.”

A feeling of lightness spread over him. She wanted to share this with him?

“I thought maybe instead of this just being my escape… it could be ours?” she continued, there was a sound of hope in her voice. “If we ever felt overwhelmed by something or needed to get away this could be where we come. Or the days following a full moon, this is where we can go over notes instead of that cold dark classroom. In here it’s at least comfortable and warm. Not to mention we really wouldn’t be followed. Patrolling prefects or professors wouldn’t be able to get in if we were in here,” she said with a mischievous smirk.

“Ours?” said Remus, his heart beating rapidly at the idea of it.

“Ours,” she said with a smile and a nod. “A secret room where neither of us would have to feel like we have to hide. This way, no one can find us.”

The slight teasing tone in her voice immediately made Remus’s mind flood with the memory of last October when they had first stolen away to the abandoned classroom to study as to not be overheard.

“This way, no one can find us,” said Remus.

“You know, that sounds slightly like something a serial killer would say,” said Hermione airily. She crossed the room and sat on top of a desk in front of Remus and looked at him while sliding her schoolbag off of her shoulder. “The whole “no one can find us’ bit.”

“Or something forbidden lovers would say,” said Remus casually with a shrug. “But neither of those things are true.”

Remus swallowed the lump in his throat.

“I’d like that,” he said, with a smile, and Hermione beamed back at him.

A part of him wanted to repeat the lovers line, to confirm if that’s what she had been referring to, but he thought against it. As much as he had wanted to, he couldn’t bring himself to finish the phrase “but neither of those things are true.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 19 – Pecking Birds and Snowball Fights

The last week of January arrived with a chill that quickly spread throughout the castle. Students muttered warming charms to themselves when they walked the cold stone corridors as the snow fell heavily outside. The snow had been so bad that all Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures classes had been cancelled until further notice. Students had taken full advantage of the extra free gaps in their schedules, enjoying their time off from class by hanging out in the common room or playing out in the snow, while the fifth and seventh years were huddled in the library studying for their slowly nearing exams.

The Transfiguration classroom was no exception to the cold temperatures and Hermione pulled her arms tighter around herself. Professor McGonagall made her way around the classroom casting more warming spells, which was something she had been doing every ten minutes since the class began. The relief was almost instantaneous, and Hermione sighed as the chill abandoned her body.

A few seats away, Sirius’s head was resting on his desk, the smallest bit of drool crept from the corner of his mouth as he dozed off. Hermione looked at him disapprovingly as she and Lily waited with anticipation for Professor McGonagall to notice him on her way back to her desk.

A flash went off beside Hermione.

“Miss Macdonald!” called out Professor McGonagall as she made her way back towards the front of the class. Sirius gave a snort and snapped his head up from his desk and looked around in confusion and Lily groaned from beside Hermione. “What have I told you about that blasted thing?”

Mary sheepishly lowered the polaroid camera she had gotten for Christmas into her lap and gave Professor McGonagall a weak smile. “Sorry Professor, won’t happen again.”

“I sure hope that is the case, Miss Macdonald,” said Professor McGonagall, narrowing her eyes. She turned to address the whole room and Hermione noticed her stern gaze stopped on Sirius who was wiping away the drool from his chin. “I know the snow and canceled classes have added some excitement to the castle, but from this point on there will be no more funny business in my classroom.”

Mary smirked to herself as Professor McGonagall went back to her desk. She held the dark photo of what would soon be Sirius drooling in her hand for Hermione and Lily to see.

“That was worth this,” she said with a smile as she wiggled the photograph gently. “I cannot wait to get this developed for the full moving effect.”

Hermione and Lily snicked silently. Professor McGonagall’s eyes made their way towards them and they immediately stopped, trying hard to hide their smirks.

The class was supposed to be conjuring birds using nonverbal magic, but it was proving to be a lot more difficult than Hermione had anticipated. The spell had always been a simple one for her when done verbally, but a part of her wondered if she was just too distracted at the moment to master it without the incantation.

Her eyes kept sliding towards the other side of the room where the boys sat, and every time they did, she managed to catch Remus’s eye. Each time, he would return her glance with a smile that made her feel warmer inside the cold castle. Or maybe that had just been Professor McGonagall’s warming spells. But she couldn’t help but feel slightly giddy knowing that the boys trusted her to know Remus’s secret. With one secret out of the way, a huge weight felt like it had been lifted from her shoulders and she felt closer to them than ever. Especially Remus.

Shaking her head with a small smile, Hermione brought her attention back to her own desk. Concentrating hard, she waved her wand in front of her and thought: Avis!

Nothing happened, and Hermione grit her teeth. It was unlike her to not be able to focus all her attention on the class. This past year she had usually done very well with nonverbal spells so in that moment she felt disappointed in herself. She needed to concentrate.

“Oh this is pointless,” she heard Sirius whisper in an annoyance that seemed to mimic her own.

Normally, it would have been difficult for Hermione to hear them from where they were sitting, but the classroom was silent as everyone tried their best to do the spell nonverbally. Hermione looked up to see if Professor McGonagall had noticed him speaking, but if she did, she made no acknowledgement of it as she graded essays. But she certainly would hear what was coming next.

“Avis!” said Sirius’s voice and Hermione turned sharply in her chair to watch, and she was not alone as many students around her turned as well.

A large blast and a cloud of smoke came from across the room as if a gun had exploded and a small flock of birds burst from Sirius’s wand. All eyes were turned to face where the boys sat and Sirius gave a cheeky grin before pointing his wand at the birds and saying “Oppugno!”

Suddenly, the birds that had been just begun flying in small circles in front of him turned their attention to Peter and charged. Hermione stared as four or five birds – it was hard to tell in the commotion – began pecking at Peter’s head and messing with his hair as Peter desperately tried swiping them away. Within seconds, he was on the ground.

Sirius was beside himself and began howling with laughter as he watched Peter struggle with James laughing beside him. Remus, however, was attempting to get rid of the birds, although he too seemed slightly amused but also worried as Peter flailed desperately at the foot of desk next to him.

In a flash, Professor McGonagall was on her feet, her wand out in front of her. Behind her glasses there was a look of rage in her eyes as they zoned in on Sirius.

Seeming to not want to go down without a fight, Peter raised his own wand from the ground. Before McGonagall had even stepped towards them, he too shouted, “Oppugno!”. His spell hadn’t been as powerful as Sirius’s had and only one of the birds that had been conjured changed its target.

The look on Sirius’s face went from utter glee to terror as the bird immediately buried itself in his hair. Peter barked a short laugh as Sirius let out a startled gasp and fell backwards off his chair with a thump against the classroom floor besides Peter.

“They are actually unreal…” murmured Lily in disbelief, and Hermione nodded silently in agreement.

Students around him laughed as Sirius swatted around his head, but the bird had buried itself deeply in his long, thick, dark hair. For a wild moment Hermione wondered if it was trying to build a nest in there.

Unfortunately for Peter, he didn’t even have the chance to fully enjoy Sirius’s misfortune as he and Remus were still trying to stop his own attacking birds. The birds also seemed to be trying to make a nest on Peter’s head, which was proving to be rather difficult for them since his hair was so short and thin.

“Get it off!” called out Sirius, as he rolled into the aisle between the desks. “James!”

But James, who was still grinning, shook his head and held his hands up in front of him as a furious Professor McGonagall approached their tables. When she stood towering over Sirius looking murderous, the classroom fell silent.

Hermione noticed movement from beside her and watched as Mary lifted her camera quickly out of her bag with a determined look on her face. Lily seemed to notice it at the same time as Hermione and before either girl could warn her not to, the camera flashed again.

Professor McGonagall had just managed to get rid of the last bird – it had been pecking rapidly at Peter’s head – before turning to Mary.

“Macdonald!” yelled Professor McGonagall as she caught sight of Mary holding her camera up again. Mary had the good sense to shrink back in her seat under Professor McGonagall’s gaze. The photograph lamely came out of the camera and she tried to casually slip it into the pocket of her robes; as if moving slowly wouldn’t allow anyone to see her do it.

Peter was sprawled out on the classroom floor looking pink in the face. Sirius was back to grinning as he stood up, trying to flatten his now messy birds nest hair. He offered his hand to Peter, who looked disheveled but also wore a nervous grin on his face, and heaved him off of the ground.

Remus and James wore matching expressions of astonishment, amusement, and fear as they waited for Professor McGonagall’s next words.

“Sorry!” squeaked Mary.

Professor McGonagall’s eyes blazed as she turned back towards Sirius and Peter. “Detention! Tonight, after dinner! I have never seen such foolery from sixth years! I best see the pair of you here and ready to write lines, and do not be late!”

Peter and Sirius groaned in unison, but a snicker came from Mary and Professor McGonagall rounded.

“And you as well, Miss Macdonald,” added Professor McGonagall, sternly. “I warned you earlier!”

Mary’s mouth dropped open slightly. “Yes ma’am…” she muttered as she stared down at her desk as Professor McGonagall headed back to the front of the classroom.

“Was that one worth it?” asked Lily lightly with a small smile, clearly trying to make Mary smile.

Mary sighed softly and tucked her camera back into her bag along with her newest photograph that she had hidden in her pocket. “That better be the funniest photograph I’ve ever seen…”

The second half of the class had been more successful for Hermione. She now had a few birds flying around her head that she had managed to conjure nonverbally. Lily was laughing beside her as her own conjured bird kept hopping up and down on the desk in front of her. It seemed to really like her. Every time Lily laughed, the bird gave her a little chirp and did a small hop-like dance which only made her laugh more.

There was the occasional blast and puffs of smoke from around the room as more students were able to nonverbally conjure the birds. Even Sirius had managed to do the spell without speaking this time and, whenever Professor McGonagall wasn’t looking, he’d send one flying at James, sparing Peter this time.

When the bell rang, Hermione, Lily, and Mary exited the classroom and the chill hit Hermione immediately. Now that the snow had stopped, it wasn’t as cold as it had been that morning, but the corridor still sent a frosty chill down her spine, and she quickly pulled on her winter cloak.

“I’ll help you with the developing solution if you’d like, Mary,” said Lily, putting her own cloak on. “Professor Slughorn lets me use the potions classroom off hours whenever I want. Just let me know when you can.”

“That would be great! You are the potions genius after all,” beamed Mary. “Thanks, Lily.”

“Sorry about your detention,” said Lily ruefully.

“I haven’t had a detention since fourth year after Sprout caught me putting glue in Sirius’s dragon-hide gloves before Herbology,” moaned Mary.

“Why did you do that?” asked Hermione, raising her eyebrow.

“Retaliation for the pixie incident,” said Mary matter-of-factly, sticking her nose up. She looked rather pleased with herself and Hermione couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. “It would have been hilarious if I hadn’t been caught. And at least I didn’t steal a poor pixie to do it.”

“I thought you didn’t know he was the one that did that,” said Hermione.

Mary grinned and shrugged. “I hadn’t confirmed it until he told me last term, but I had my suspicions. I wasn’t going to let him know that though. If I had been wrong… well, a little glue wouldn’t have hurt him.”

“That was quite the term with the two of you,” said Lily shaking her head but smiling. “I do wish we could have seen the look on his face if he did put those gloves on. Well… more so when he tried to take them off. Maybe you could get belated revenge tonight.”

Mary huffed. “Doubtful with McGonagall there. Peter will be bearable, but detention with Sirius is honestly just a double punishment…”

Speaking of the devil, further down the corridor Sirius was walking with his friends and mimicking being attacked by a bird and laughing like a maniac.

With a sigh, Hermione turned to look at Mary and Lily. “I’m going to have a word with him.”

“Alright,” said Mary following her gaze down the hall. She adjusted the strap on her school bag and took her camera back out. “We’ll see you at lunch?”

“Yeah, and I want to hear more about that glue prank,” said Hermione with a grin, and Mary laughed and agreed to let her know everything.

The girls bid farewell to each other, and Hermione quickened her pace to catch up to the boys.

“That was foolish, Sirius,” she said shaking her head as she fell into step alongside them. Remus grinned at the sight of her and slowed his pace to walk beside her as they headed towards the Grand Staircase.

“Hello, Hermione,” smiled Remus and she grinned back at him. “You did well with your birds today.”

“Oh, you saw that?” said Hermione, feeling slightly proud of the compliment. “Thanks, I wish I could say the same to someone else.” She sent Sirius a pointed look.

“Oh come on! That was hilarious!” Sirius said, beaming. “The look on McGonagall’s face was priceless. And if you noticed, I was able to do it without speaking eventually.”

Remembering the severe look on her face, Hermione had to disagree, but it would have been a useless battle bringing that up. “Even so, now you have detention tonight.”

Sirius waved his hand in dismissal. “Whatever. It makes up for the fact that Herbology was supposed to be next but it’s cancelled so we have free time!” he flashed her a brilliant grin and Hermione raised her eyebrow accusingly at him. “You act as if detention is some unusual thing I have to suffer through. I always find some way to make it interesting.”

“Yes, but you didn’t just get detention for yourself there, mate,” stated Remus and Hermione nodded.

“Well… then Peter and I will have a good time tonight,” said Sirius, unbothered, as Peter hastily agreed.

“And we didn’t even lose any house points,” said Peter proudly. Hermione sent him a sharp look and his eyes widened at her. Immediately Hermione grimaced internally, she was supposed to try to get along better with him…

“Too right you are, Wormtail!” said Sirius with a grin, not noticing the exchange. “So we got ourselves a detention… we can handle that. No harm done! But it’ll be strange not having you there, Prongs,” he said nudging his elbow into James.

James grinned back. “What ever will you do without me.”

“You haven’t gotten detention in a while,” complained Sirius. “You’re losing your touch.”

“Or,” started Hermione. “He’s maturing and realized there’s better ways to spend his free time instead of doing things to end up in detention.”

There was a moment of silence before Sirius and James exchanged a look and burst out laughing.

“No, I think Padfoot is right, I’m definitely losing my touch,” chuckled James.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be just like Prongs is with us,” Sirius said with a wink towards James who grinned back.

“Don’t forget Mary is going to be there too…” reminded Remus with a hint of a smile as he anticipated Sirius’s reaction.

That wiped the smirk right off Sirius’s face and Remus’s grin widened. “I’d forgotten about Macdonald. Damn…”

“The three of you will have such a great time together since you’re the reason she’s there too,” teased Hermione. “I hope she takes a picture of your face as Professor McGonagall makes you write lines all night.”

“Oi! She got herself there, I didn’t force her to take out that ruddy camera and start flashing it around class…”

“I’m sure she’ll be just as thrilled to spend detention with Sirius as he will to spend it with her,” muttered Remus softly to Hermione and the two of them laughed together.

When they reached the third floor, the boys began to walk down the corridor rather than continue up the stairs and Hermione stopped.

“Wait, where are you going?” Hermione asked as she realized they were not headed in the direction of the common room.

“Clock Tower Courtyard,” said James.

“What? Why?”

“Because there’s fresh snow out there,” said Sirius. “This is prime snowball fight snow!”

“Why didn’t you just go to the courtyard outside of the Transfiguration room?”

“Because, Hermione,” started Sirius impatiently. “Less people will have thought to go to this one so the snow will probably be untouched and there won’t be as many people around.”

“People were already walking through the snow there after class too,” pointed out James. “The only people out of class now are us and the Care of Magical Creature folk, so no one’s been near this courtyard.”

Hermione pursed her lips. “Shouldn’t we use this time to study? Especially if you and Peter have detention tonight?”

Sirius, James, and Peter began to laugh at her statement and Hermione felt her face flush. Was it really so ridiculous to use their time wisely? Only Remus didn’t laugh, but he did smile at her with amusement in his eyes.

“Good luck getting them to do that,” said Remus with a sad, almost apologetic smile. “But we do have plenty of time before Professor McGonagall’s essay is due. And the only class we have after lunch is double potions, so that’ll only be one more assignment from today.”

“So, are you coming, Hermione?” asked Sirius with a grin as he stood in the threshold of the third-floor corridor.

Hermione hesitated. “Well, I wanted to get a start on that essay… I was actually planning on going to—”

“The library,” finished James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus all at the same time and that time all four of them began to laugh.

Not being able to help the small smile that came to her face, Hermione shook her head. “Well, yes…”

“Come on, Hermione! Take the rest of the morning off and come with us,” said James. “It’s not every day a class is cancelled and there’s fresh snow to play with.”

“We can work on the essay later when these two are in detention,” said Remus, jabbing his thumb towards Sirius and Peter. “We might not get many more free chances to enjoy a snowy day before the N.E.W.T. exams next year. James is right, come have a good time.”

Hermione sighed and couldn’t believe she agreed to go with them as she followed the four boys towards the Clock Tower Courtyard.

She had to admit, the courtyard looked gorgeous in the fresh, flawless, blankets of white snow. Not a soul had touched it yet and it looked like shimmering clouds in front of them as rays of sunlight were beginning to peak out of the overcast sky and reflecting off it, making it look as though it were sparkling.

There was something about fresh snow that always was a comfort to Hermione. As a kid she loved to sit by the window of her home whenever it snowed, which was rather rare for London. But she could remember being pressed up against the icy windows as a child, her fingers cold against the frozen glass while feeling the heat from the radiator inside on her skin and watching the small flurries at night, illuminated under the streetlights. It was one of the few things that had felt like magic before she even knew she was a witch. It felt like a winter wonderland even though the snow hardly ever stuck to the ground, and if it did it would usually be gone by morning. The snow at Hogwarts up in the Highlands of Scotland had been a welcome sight the first time there was accumulation, and to this day it was something she still loved deeply.

“Beautiful,” said Remus and he smiled warmly at Hermione.

“And it’s about to be ruined,” sighed Hermione as she spotted Sirius pulling a scarf and gloves out of his school bag. The sight made her frown, and she instinctively pulled her cloak tighter around herself as the other three boys began to wrap themselves in scarves and put on gloves.

Apparently, they had known they were going to be out in the snow and had come prepared, unlike Hermione whose scarf, hat, and gloves were tucked away in her trunk at the foot of her bed up in Gryffindor Tower.

The beautiful snow in front of them was short lived as Sirius and James began pushing their way through the snow as Peter followed closely behind.

“You’ve ruined the view,” murmured Remus dryly.

“Well, come on then!” called out Sirius, waving his arm above his head. “The snow isn’t getting any colder!”

With a shake of his head and a grin, Remus too began to follow them in the trail they left behind in the snow.

It was a bit too cold for Hermione to want to completely join them, so she used her wand and made a small path leading to the bench closest to where they had stopped. A shiver ran down her spine as she sat down on the cold stone, but she quickly rubbed her hands together and murmured the warming charms Professor McGonagall had used earlier that morning.

For a moment, she watched as the boys threw snowballs at each other and she smiled to herself. As much as she wished they could have all been productive, it was nice to see them enjoying themselves with their snowball fight. But even as nice as that was, it wasn’t going to get her to spend her time unwisely. As not to fully waste her free time, she pulled her school bag onto the bench beside her and took out her Potions textbook to read ahead for class later.

It was actually quite relaxing, studying outside. There was an occasional crisp breeze that would blow through and rustle her hair and make the corner of the pages of her book flutter slightly. Mixed with the warming charms, it felt pleasant and refreshing and she couldn’t help breathing in deeply and inhaling the sweet icy air.

There was the occasionally hoot and holler as the Marauders smacked each other with snowballs, but Hermione tried to focus the best she could on the book in her lap. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, and occasionally she’d pause her reading and watch them or cast another warming charm.

She grew suspicious when it had gone silent and she looked up from her book, but it was just that the snowball fight had finished. Instead, they had broken into pairs and appeared to be making snowmen. James and Remus were working diligently on one while Sirius and Peter were throwing snow together, and at each other. Knowing now that they were still preoccupied and not plotting something sinister, Hermione returned to her studies.

“Hermione! Look!” called out James’s voice excitedly as more time passed and Hermione looked up from her book once again.

They had finished their snowmen, and James was beaming proudly at her as Remus pointed to both of them with a grin of his own. Both snowmen were about four feet tall and both were made up of one large base and a smaller head. James was just finishing up wrapping his scarf around his snowman as Remus summoned long sticks to use as arms.

Hermione had to admit that Remus and James’s snowman rather impressive with how nice they managed to make it look. The snow was patted down smooth, and they had hollowed out holes for the eyes, mouth, and buttons. Another smaller stick was stuck in the center of the head to be a nose. The other snowman… well… it definitely somewhat resembled a snowman, but as Sirius tied his black cloak around his snowman’s neck, Hermione thought it more so resembled a giant lump of coal.

Remus tapped his wand to the snowman’s head and to Hermione’s amazement the snowman’s stick arm lifted up and waved at her. Right as she was about to compliment the magic, Sirius saw this and tapped his own wand to his and Peter’s “snowman”. Similarly to Remus’s snowman, this one also raised its stick arm, but instead of waving it decided to do some very rude hand gestures.

“Very mature, Sirius!” called Hermione, rolling her eyes as Sirius and Peter laughed.

A small gust of wind moved past her and she shivered as another chill ran through her body. She saw Remus looking at her with a small frown. With a tilt of his head, he gave her a look that she interpreted as “Are you alright?” and she nodded quickly and gestured to her wand as she cast another warming spell. This didn’t seem to appease Remus’s concern as he began to walk towards her.

“Cold?” he asked with a toothy grin when he got nearer. He stumbled slightly in the snow and Hermione breathed out a short laugh.

“I wasn’t prepared as the rest of you,” she laughed. “But I’m managing well enough with my warming charms.”

Remus shook his head with a smile. “That certainly won’t do. Here, stand up.”

He stopped a short distance away waved her towards him with a grin. Sighing, Hermione shut her book and gently set it down on the stone bench beside her before walking through the snow towards him.

When she stopped in front of him, his hands went to his scarf around his neck and began to unravel it. Realizing what he was doing, Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off.

“Nope, I don’t want to hear it,” he said as he pulled the burgundy scarf off and held it in front of him. “I still have my gloves and hat so I’ll be fine. I’m not going to let you freeze out here when we’re the ones who convinced you to come.”

“Remus, really… you don’t have to—” she tried to object but he just shook his head at her.

“Sorry, I told I didn’t want to hear it so I’m just going to pretend you haven’t said anything,” he said, grinning widely at her.

Hermione pursed her lips in guilt as he stepped towards her. He grew quiet in concentration as he wrapped the scarf around her neck, adjusting it slightly before throwing the longer end of it behind her back. While the warming charms had helped, Hermione had to admit that having the soft and warm scarf wrapped around her made a world of difference. It smelled slightly like him, with the faint aroma of chocolate becoming noticeable with the chilly breeze.

Gently, he reached behind her and freed her bushy hair that had been tucked into the scarf and it fell down her back. His hands lingered hesitantly on the scarf after he finally finished straightening it before he allowed them to drop to his sides.

“There,” he said quickly, clearing his throat and smiling softly. “That’s much better.”

She was about to thank him when suddenly something else caught her attention. There was no time to warn Remus as Hermione spotting a large snowball soaring through the air straight towards the back of his head. It hit its target and the force of it caused Remus to stumble forward. Unfortunately, Hermione was standing in front of him, which meant they both ended up tumbling to the cold ground. The snow broke their fall but the weight of Remus falling on top of her knocked the wind from her body and she gasped.

Remus looked dazed for a moment. His face was only inches away from her own and his green eyes were wide as he took in his surroundings. When he seemed to realize what had happened, and that he had Hermione pinned to the ground, he immediately began to try to support himself. Both of his arms were on either side of her shoulders as he struggled to push himself off of her in the snow. A deep blush spread across his face from a mix of the cold and the effort.

“Are you alright?” he quickly asked once he had fully supported his weight. The worry in his voice was heavy, and she quickly nodded, not quite capable of speaking after the fall but not wanting him to fret.

And for the third time that morning, there was a flash of light.

Hermione shifted her head in the snow and looked upside-down behind her. Near the entrance to the castle, Mary was wiggling a new photograph in her mittened hand and grinning hugely, her camera hung around her neck. Behind her, Lily, Michelle, and Claudia stood, all bundled in winter clothes. Lily and Michelle were also grinning, but Claudia looked slightly embarrassed as she caught sight of her in the snow, almost mirroring how Hermione herself felt in the moment.

“This is definitely going to be a good one!” Mary yelled towards them with a short laugh. She was looking between Remus and Hermione with a thrilled sparkle in her eyes.

Hermione felt herself flush this time and looked back up at Remus who seemed to somehow become even redder in the face as he stared at the group of girls.

“Um, Remus?” Hermione said softly.

He dropped his gaze back at her and blinked a few times in confusion before realizing they were both still in the snow.

“Oh!” he gasped. He struggled for a moment before managing to pull himself to his feet. “I’m so sorry!”

“Not your fault,” she murmured, feeling more relaxed now that she wasn’t pinned to the ground.

He offered her his hand and she took hold of it, and in one strong pull, he managed to get her out of the snow and back onto her own two feet. Immediately she started to dust the snow off of her cloak with a grimace as she shivered.

Remus turned around and stared daggers at Sirius who was grinning like a maniac.

“Do I even have to ask if that was you?” glared Remus, pointing directly at Sirius. “You could have gotten Hermione seriously hurt!”

“The only thing serious around here is me!” he called back with a laugh and James and Peter groaned next to him.

“Walked right into that one, mate!” called out James, shaking his head.

Remus sighed and turned back towards Hermione, a small frown on his face.

“You’re alright, right?” he asked nervously. “That couldn’t have felt good…”

With a wave of her hand Hermione rolled her eyes and smiled. “I’m fine, no need to worry…”

A small, crooked smile appeared across Remus’s face. “I’m glad.”

He gently reached up towards her and for a wild moment Hermione thought he was going to caress her face and she held her breath at the odd gesture. Instead, he took hold of a strand of her hair and pulled out a clump of snow and dropped it back to the ground and she exhaled with a small laugh.

There was the sound of something whizzing and Hermione looked up as another snowball came rocketing towards them. She grabbed Remus by the sleeve and was about to pull him aside but then the snowball soared over their heads. Turning, Hermione watched as it searched for a different target.

A gasp came from Mary, who had been walking towards them with Lily, Michelle, and Claudia right behind her. It took her a second’s notice to realize what was about to happen and she quickly covered her face with her free arm, and she tried to shield her camera from the assault with the other.

Luckily for her, the snowball hadn’t been as forceful as the one that knocked over Remus. It managed to hit the arm covering her head and exploded around her, leaving clusters of snow in her dirty-blonde hair and scattered across her cloak.

“Black!” squealed Mary, trying to push the snow off herself with her free arm while the other still covered her camera. “You could have broken my camera! I only just got it a month ago!”

“Sorry!” he called with his hands around his mouth to amplify his voice. “Was aiming for Remus again!”

“Fat chance…” mumbled Mary, pursing her lips.

James was now making his way through the snow towards them, and Hermione noticed that he was focused on Lily, who was now fussing with Mary to see if she was alright. Michelle and Claudia decided to keep a safer distance and were a few paces back, and Hermione gave them credit for it; it was definitely the smart decision. She made eye contact with Michelle who grinned at her.

“Alright there, Mary?” James said as he approached, tearing his eyes away from Lily to look at Mary who was still swiping at her cloak. There was an apologetic smile on his face.

Mary sighed. “It’s not your fault, James. He’s an idiot, though.” she jerked her head towards Sirius, who had gone back to charming the snowman to make rude hand gestures with Peter who seemed to think it was the funniest thing in the world.

“Ah, yeah well we knew that already,” he said. “You’ll have to get him back in detention tonight.”

Mary smirked at him. “Lily said the same thing earlier.”

Seeming to be pleased at the excuse to focus back on Lily, James’s grin widened as he looked at her. “Really? Great minds think alike, I guess.”

Lily smiled at him wearily. “At least we can both agree he can be an idiot.”

James nodded with enthusiasm. “But we keep him around for the entertainment.”

Lily laughed at that while Mary rolled her eyes.

Seeming to think the coast was clear, Michelle and Claudia made their way towards them, with Claudia nervously checking over her shoulder to make sure Sirius didn’t throw another snowball. When they stopped beside Lily, Claudia gave the group a polite wave, but she looked slightly awkward.

“Where are you guys headed anyway?” asked Hermione as Michelle stopped beside her.

“We were just going to the Grounds to take photos with Mary’s camera before lunch,” said Michelle. “We wanted to take them before the snow freezes over, so the snow is still soft and fluffy and looks nice in the photos.”

“We were coming over here to ask you to join us,” said Mary to Hermione as she finished brushing the snow off of herself.

“You guys are welcome to come too,” added Claudia, gesturing towards James and Remus. Her face was flushed from the cold giving her the appearance of looking like a winter doll with her blonde hair spilling out from under her white knit hat.

James seemed to consider the request and he turned back to look at Sirius and Peter quickly.

“And Sirius and Peter?”

Claudia’s eyes quickly glanced between Remus and James and she smiled. “Of course.”

As much as the Grounds would have been absolutely beautiful to see covered in thick blankets of snow, Hermione felt quite content to stay in the courtyard with her book. Part of her wished she could have had the foresight to bring her hat and gloves, and her own scarf because she would have liked to go, but the idea of roaming around outside for the next hour in just her basic cloak seemed less than pleasant.

“Maybe some other time,” said Hermione ruefully. “I didn’t dress for the weather and I’m doing some reading for our class this afternoon.”

She pointed to her school bag and Potions textbook that lay on the bench. Michelle gave her an understanding nod. “Definitely next time then.”

Hermione turned to Remus. “But if you go you can have your scarf back, I wouldn’t want you to freeze.”

She went to grab the scarf to take it off but Remus reached up and gently pulled her hand down.

“No, it’s okay,” he said with a smile. He then turned to face Claudia. “Thank you, Claudia, but I’m going to stay here as well.”

His eyes lingered to Hermione and she gave him a curious look, wondering why he turned the pretty girl down. Claudia looked visibly disappointed as she looked between them. So did James. His face fell and he looked sadly at Lily with a conflicted expression. Hermione had a feeling he wanted to go, but wouldn’t without all of his friends going as well.

“Yeah, some other time…” said James sadly. He bid the group goodbye as he turned and walked back towards Peter and Sirius, who were trying to tidy up their snowman which now looked less like a lump of coal and more like a deformed potato.

The door leading to the castle opened again and the group of them turned to see who else would be out of class. Dressed in black cloaks and donned with green scarves, Mulciber and Avery came into the courtyard, followed by Snape who was a few steps behind them. The three Slytherins went to the far side of the courtyard and cleared off benches to sit on. Hermione wondered if they were supposed to have been in the canceled Care of Magical Creatures class or if they were skipping. But if she had to be honest, they didn’t really seem like the type to care for magical creatures.

Snape’s dark eyes traced over their group and stopped momentarily on Lily, softening slightly. But when he caught sight Remus, his eyes trailed until he saw the other Marauders farther back in the snow and his face turned dark.

Lily paled at the sight of him, looking nervous and somewhat guilty like she always did when she saw him outside of class, and Hermione noticed Mary had locked her gaze on Mulciber. He returned her glance with one of his own, and though it was directed at Mary, the menacing look in the grin that spread across Mulciber’s face as he looked at Mary sent a shiver down Hermione’s spine.

Mary must have had the same experience because she quickly clutched Lily’s forearm. Michelle looked between Lily and Mary and worry spread across her face.

“Come, let’s get out of here,” said Michelle, her face growing hard.

Claudia glanced over at the Slytherins and seemed to understand. “That’s a good idea.”

She linked her arm with Mary’s and began to lead her out of the courtyard towards the Grounds with the other two girls right behind. As they walked away, Michelle turned to give Hermione a faint smile before their figures slowly began to fade from view.

When the group of girls had completely disappeared into the Grounds, Hermione saw Mulciber nudge Avery and cock his head in the direction of James, Sirius, and Peter. Avery said something to Snape who then looked over at them as well, and the three of them began to cross the courtyard.

“Come for a snowball fight?” called Sirius when he saw them nearing. A large snowball sat in his gloved hand as he eyed Mulciber, Avery, and Snape who were slowly making their way towards him, James, and Peter.

Remus and Hermione exchanged a look that she understood as this cannot be good. They stayed near the bench, but Hermione suddenly became hyper aware of where her wand was tucked into her cloak, just in case.

“Are the blood traitors enjoying their time off from class?” called out Avery with a haughty smirk.

No sooner had he spoken, the snowball that Sirius had been holding exploded at the three Slytherins’ feet as they approached. It seemed to startle Avery and he did a little jump backwards, but Mulciber and Snape just stopped and stared at where the snowball had hit. It had happened so quickly that Hermione had not even noticed Sirius throw it, but he must have because he wore a smug expression on his face.

“You behave like children,” spat Avery, looking slightly embarrassed as pink burned across his cheeks.

“That’s because they are children,” said Snape, icily. He seemed unimpressed at what was happening and as if he wanted to be anywhere else.

“And you look like prats,” said Sirius, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. “We’re trying to have a good time here so why don’t you sod off.”

That didn’t seem to be a comment they were very fond of.

“Having fun with your snowman, Black? If you can even call it that… Shame if something were to happen to it…” said Mulciber darkly as he eyed Sirius and Peter’s snowman.

Sirius narrowed his eyes and Mulciber grinned his creepy grin and took out his wand, which Sirius watched carefully.

A firm grip took a hold of Hermione’s upper arm, holding her in place. Startled, Hermione looked around at Remus’s hard face and he shook his head slowly at her, glancing down. Without realizing it, she must have taken out her own wand because when she followed his gaze she saw how tightly she was clutching it in her fist. Confusion came over her and she relaxed her grip. At the same time, Remus loosened his hold on her, but still held her close.

“Bombarda!”

Sirius and Peter’s snowman exploded, sending pieces flying high into the air. Clumps of snow rained down around them and they finally rested back on the ground, only a small pile remained where the snowman once stood. Sirius’s cloak slowly floated down from the air and landed lamely on top.

Peter stared down at where the snowman had been, looking shocked and sad. His entire posture changed as he stepped back and hunched slightly, trying to make himself small as he cowered away from the Slytherins, stepping closer to James. Sirius was fuming as he looked down at the pile of snow that used to be his rude snowman. His dark eyes snapped back in the Slytherins’ direction.

“Why the hell did you do that?” called out James, looking equally as mad.

“Going to cry, Potter?” taunted Avery. His fists went to his eyes and he mimed a crying motion.

“And we’re the children?” countered James. “Just leave us alone Mulciber, there must be better things for you lot to do.”

In a flash, Sirius had his wand out. The smirk on Mulciber’s face dropped at the sight of it, but Sirius didn’t point his wand at any of the Slytherins. Instead, he turned in the direction of James. Peter let out a whimper.

“Oppugno!” yelled Sirius, and the spell connected with the snowman Remus and James had made.

It was the oddest sight Hermione had ever seen. Without having legs, the snowman did a weird lunge mixed with a waddle as it tried to charge across the courtyard. James’s scarf flew off in its dash to attack the three Slytherin boys.

“What the…” sputtered Avery, with wide eyes, as he took a step back. The snowman wasn’t scary by any means, and Hermione wondered how much damage it could really do, but she had to admit she probably would have had a similar reaction at just seeing the strange sight.

From behind Mulciber and Avery, Snape stepped forward and raised his wand, looking unamused. His arm began slashing quickly but fluidly at the air in a way Hermione had never seen before. As if following the wand movements, large cuts formed across the snowman, cutting chunks and sections of it off and sending the snow tumbling to the ground. At first Hermione thought he must have used the severing charm, but no light had appeared and his wand movements were odd and unrecognizable. Whatever the spell had been, something about it sent a chill down her spine.

Mulciber gave Snape an approving pat on his back and Snape smirked wearily.

“What a waste of a pureblood legacy,” said Avery, shaking his head and looking at Sirius. He sounded kind of shaky after his reaction to the snowman, the bitterness in his voice seemed forced. “Can’t even charm a snowman. It’s a good thing Regulus can honor the house of Black.

Bringing up Regulus caused Sirius to go silent and he just stared angrily at them.

“We’ll see you in potions later,” sneered Mulciber with a dark laugh, feeling as though Sirius’s silence meant he had admitted defeat. The three of them turned and began walking through the snow back up to the castle.

After staring for a moment, Sirius made a sudden move and whipped his wand in front of him again, but this time not at an inanimate object. Fear took over Hermione as she saw him aim towards Snape, Mulciber, and Avery’s retreating figures. She made a move to try to get to him, to stop him before he could do something stupid, and Remus must have had the exact same thought. His hold on her vanished as he too stepped towards Sirius, but James got there first.

“Get off!” said Sirius, angrily. The shout made all three Slytherins turn to look back at Sirius in curiosity.

“It’s not worth it, mate,” said James, clutching Sirius’s shoulder. His touch seemed to somewhat calm Sirius down because he lowered his wand ever so slightly.

At the sight of James holding Sirius back, Avery laughed darkly before turning to look directly at Hermione, who hadn’t made much distance from the bench but who had obviously moved.

“Let’s get out of here, there’s a horrible smell,” said Avery as he looked at her with narrow eyes before turning back towards James, Sirius, and Peter, who was cowering behind James.

“Good, you should go shower then!” yelled Sirius, as James continued to hold his shoulder.

Avery sent him a murderous glare and he grabbed Mulciber by the sleeve of his cloak and dragged him back towards the castle. “Come, Snape,” he called over his shoulder and Snape glared one last time at the Gryffindors before following the other two inside.

It took a moment after the Slytherins went back into the castle for any of the Marauders or Hermione to move or say anything. They all were either too stunned or angry to speak, but it was Hermione who ended up speaking first.

“Sirius! You can’t do stuff like that! Are you trying to start trouble?” chastised Hermione when she finally felt her voice return.

His mouth fell open. “You’re going to get mad at me?”

“You shouldn’t provoke them—”

“You must be kidding! They’re baby Death Eaters in training! You saw that curse Snivellus used!” said Sirius, looking at her aghast.

Hermione bit her lip, not knowing how to defend the very true statement. She knew they’d become Death Eaters, and she felt uneasy as she thought about how something had seemed dark about Snape’s spell.

“Meaning it’s probably best to leave them well-enough alone right now!”

Sirius scoffed and turned away and went back to the remains of his creation. Angrily, he grabbed his cloak that was buried in the ruins of his snowman and began to shake it with such a force that Hermione was worried he might hurt himself. James put his hand on his shoulder again and began speaking to him softly, too far out of earshot to hear, but whatever he was saying seemed to calm Sirius. With a sigh, Hermione and sat back down on the bench and frowned. After a moment of just looking at her, Remus followed.

“He’s right,” said Remus softly as he sat down next to her. “As much as they shouldn’t jinx or antagonize them, they aren’t innocent.”

Hermione nodded numbly and thought back to how the group of them had tried to attack Sirius outside of Potions and the story Mary had told her about what Mulciber had done to her. It twisted her stomach knowing that they would become Death Eaters and knowing what the Death Eaters would do. What made it worse was the inability to do something to stop it. It was like a horrible curse and a selfish part of her hoped she wouldn’t still be stuck in the past to witness it.

“I know,” she admitted and then bit her lip. “I know… I know I should say you shouldn’t stoop to their level and to be better than them… but I’m actually just scared for you all. They can just be so dangerous and with the war…” she broke off for a moment and gave a small cough to cover the lump in her throat that was forming. “I just don’t want to see any of you get hurt…”

Remus gave her a weak smile and put his arm around her, and Hermione leaned into the comforting warmth. Sirius’s anger must have completely dissolved because he had gone right back to hurling snowballs at Peter and James. Hermione’s heart tugged in her chest as she stared at the youthful faces of James, Sirius, and even Peter as they laughed and played in the snow. There was nothing more that she wanted in that moment than for the cold winter air to freeze the scene around her with all of them there in the courtyard, young, happy, innocent, and carefree. They weren’t involved in the war, there were no betrayals, or deaths… If only it were possible to freeze time and these people she cared about as they were in that very moment, to protect them from what undoubtedly was to come. She wanted to help, she wanted to make a difference, or at least make things easier somehow. There had to be something she could do while she was there.

She raised her hand up to where Remus’s arms was wrapped around her shoulder and touched her cold hand to his gloved one. She gave it a small squeeze, trying to comfort herself more than anything and she rested her head onto his shoulder, thinking hard about what she could possibly do to somehow make a difference.

Chapter Text

Chapter 20 - Pushing Luck

“Are you ready to spend detention with Mary?” asked Remus with a smirk.

The four boys were walking out of the Great Hall after dinner. Knowing he was in for a long night with Professor McGonagall, Sirius had smuggled food out with him and was carrying it in him. Remus had a feeling that Professor McGonagall would not be pleased with him bringing food into her classroom.

“I can handle Macdonald,” said Sirius. He pursed his lips as he thought of something. “But I will say, I wasn’t a fan of the way Mulciber looked at her earlier. She may be a pain in the ass and fun to tease but the look in her eyes when she saw him in the courtyard wasn’t funny at all. Even I could see that from where we were standing.”

“That’s because he’s a creepy git,” said James and Remus agreed wholeheartedly.

“You can say that again. He’ll get his someday… I’ll make sure of that,” Sirius said darkly, then paused for a moment. “Still, I wish she wasn’t going to be in detention with us,” he sighed.

“If Mary is there then we can’t even use the mirrors,” said Peter sadly.

“But those only work if the professor leaves the room. Professor McGonagall is likely to stay there and watch over,” said Remus.

“That’s true,” said Peter with a sigh. “If only we had detention with Slughorn. He’d definitely leave the room and we could do whatever we wanted.”

“I mean, it is just McGonagall. I’m sure you’ll only have to write lines. I bet it won’t be too bad,” said James

“Maybe she’ll let you both start on your Transfiguration essays?” suggested Remus, hoping they would actually start their work on their own. That was going to be his plans for the night, and he wouldn’t be looking forward to Sirius pestering him and Hermione for help the night before it was due.

“I don’t want to start the ruddy essay,” moaned Sirius. He took a large bite out of a chicken leg he had smuggled out of the Great Hall and moped.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t attack people with birds in class,” said Remus looking at him chewing with slight disgust.

“Oi, why is everyone only lecturing me? Wormtail did the same thing!” he said with a mouthful.

“Only to defend himself after you attacked him,” said James with a laugh.

“Exactly!” said Peter. “I wouldn’t have even thought to do that until you did it first.”

Sirius shook his head. “Now you’re all starting to sound like Hermione when she blamed me for Macdonald getting detention too.”

“If you hadn’t—”

“I know, Moony, I know,” said Sirius, sounding irritated. “If I hadn’t fallen asleep or conjured the birds… But she’s the one who whipped out that camera. I didn’t make her do it, especially after McGonagall warned her.”

“Okay, that’s true,” said Remus with a faint smile. “She made the choice to do that.”

“Thank you!”

When they reached the Grand Staircase, the boys bid each other farewell as they parted ways. Remus and James made their way back to their dormitory. Immediately, James dumped his bag at the foot of his bed and plopped down onto the mattress, reaching for something in his bedside drawer.

“Do you think they’re having fun in detention?” asked James as he rummaged.

Remus could hear the smile in James’s voice as he sat down on his own bed and placed his school bag beside him. James seemed to find what he was looking for and he grinned wildly before falling backwards onto his mattress. James made himself comfortable as his arm lay behind his head as he stretched out upside down on his bed.

Whatever James had grabbed flashed slightly in his hand and Remus watched as James tossed the golden snitch he had stolen at the beginning of the year into the air. It began floating around slightly above his face and James’s eyes followed it with amusement as it buzzed in small circles.

“Doubtful. It is too bad about the mirror. But even if Professor McGonagall did leave the room, they still wouldn’t be able to use them with Mary there,” said Remus as he began searching through his bag for his Transfigurations notes.

He had promised Hermione they’d work on that essay, and once she was done at dinner with Lily and the Hufflepuffs she was supposed to meet them there.

“And Padfoot was upset because Mary would be there,” laughed James, not taking his eyes off of the snitch.

“I think they’ll bicker until the day we die,” sighed Remus as he began pulling out his notebook.

“Quality banter between the two of them though. Never a dull moment,” said James with a smirk. Slowly, the smile faded and he turned his head to look at Remus. “But Sirius was right. The way Mulciber looked at her earlier was pretty scary. Mulciber is such a creepy git,” James repeated again like he had on the way back to the common room, but there was a deeper disgust in his voice as he looked back up at the snitch.

“I didn’t see Sirius’s face after that but I did see Mulciber and the way he looked at her. She seemed terrified with the way she clung to Lily,” said Remus with a frown as he started laying out new parchment for his essay.

Both Mulciber and Avery gave him a very unsettling feeling, and there was no doubt in his mind they would take the first opportunity presented to them to become Death Eaters, most-likely Snape as well. His stomach sunk at the thought. He only hoped for Sirius’s sake that Regulus did not follow in their footsteps. Sirius may give Regulus a hard time for his choices and the company he kept, but Remus was sure deep down he still cared for his little brother.

“Can’t say I blame him for wanting to hex the lot,” said James coolly. “And while I’m glad I held him back, if they did do anything to Mary again… or anyone, I don’t think I’d be able to stop myself.”

James didn’t have to say what he’d stop himself from doing, but he didn’t have to. Remus’s mind slipped back to last year and the night they found out that Mulciber had cursed Mary in the corridor. It had been so horrible seeing her like that in the Hospital Wing. If either Mulciber or Avery tried something like that again, Remus didn’t think there was anything he wouldn’t do to stop it. He thought about if it had Hermione and he felt himself clench the piece of parchment in his hand, hearing it crumple. “I don’t think I’d try to stop you.”

A silence hung in the air as James continued to watch the snitch. Remus looked down at the piece of parchment in his fist and freed it. He placed it down on his bed and did his best to smooth out the wrinkles.

James’s eyes continued to follow the snitch and suddenly, in a flash, he thrust his arm forward and grabbed it with a quick movement. He let out a joyful “Aha!” and he looked up at his hand holding the small ball that he held above his face.

“But, honestly, the two of them should just snog and get it out of their systems,” said James with a cheeky grin, trying to lighten the mood. He released the snitch and its wings fluttered to life and began to buzz around the room again.

Remus looked up from his notes and grinned back at James. “Do you think that’s it then? That they’ll end up together some day?”

“I think it’s less of wanting to date if you know what I mean,” James said as he turned his head to look at Remus with a grin. “And if it was, they’re both too bloody proud to admit it at this point. I do think they drive each other mad in more than one way though.”

“Definitely at least one way,” said Remus with a smirk as he thought back to the many disgusted glares Mary had directed towards Sirius over the years. A part of him couldn’t possibly see Mary giving him the time of day. For some reason the thought amused him and he couldn’t help grinning to himself.

“You know, Moony,” started James after another moment of silence. He sat up from the bed and turning his body to face him. “This is nice. I can’t remember the last time it was just the two of us. We normally don’t have time to ourselves.”

The statement touched Remus more than he would have expected, and he felt a deep rush of fondness towards James. It really had been so long when it was just the two of them.

“Thanks, Prongs. This is nice,” he said through the lump in his throat, smiling widely.

James grinned at him. “But speaking of people snogging…”

The comment threw Remus off to much that it felt like he had just experienced whiplash.

“Uh… Sorry, James, you’re not really my type…”

James burst out laughing as Remus tried to figure out what was going on.

“Don’t worry, mate,” James said as he continued to laugh, a sparkle in his eye. “You aren’t mine either.”

“You had me worried for a second,” said Remus, feeling himself also begin to laugh. They both sat there and laughed for a while, each of their amusement building off of each other.

“What I had actually meant was Hermione,” said James when he had finally calmed down, wiping his eyes behind his glasses.

That immediately sobered Remus, halting his laughter. Hermione? Snogging? What did James mean? Who was he implying Hermione should snog? He couldn’t help the small bit of jealousy at the idea of Hermione snogging anyone. James certainly couldn’t mean himself; he was still hoping for Lily… right?

“Oh, I thought it was rather obvious,” he said, raising his eyebrow slightly at Remus.

“What’s obvious?” said Remus, hollowly, anticipating James’s next words.

“That you’re in love with her.”

Remus balked at his statement, searching James’s hazel eyes for a hint of joking. It wasn’t a question, and Remus rarely heard James speak with such certainty without a hint of overconfidence or an ounce of teasing. It wasn’t the first time he or Sirius had brought the topic up, but it was the first time Remus thought James truly meant it.

“I- I’m sorry?” stuttered out Remus.

“You’re in love with Hermione,” repeated James, the small smile spreading wider across face. “And I know we’ve joked about it, and that we make innuendos about the two of you because you’ve gotten close… I’ve always thought just maybe you had a small crush on her, but blimey— The way you look at her… I’ve never seen anything quite like it.”

Remus just stared at a loss for words and James smiled again. One thing was for sure, Remus was very glad Sirius and Peter were not in the room, and that Hermione had still not arrived from dinner. He had to admit there was a slight relief that he felt. As much as he did not want to be having this chat, knowing James hadn’t been saying Hermione should be with someone else did make him feel slightly better.

“You can barely keep your eyes off of her, mate,” James continued. “You should have seen yourself all day. In class… especially in the courtyard… You light up like a bloody Christmas tree when you spot her. You love her.”

There were no words that Remus could form in that moment. His brain had kicked into overdrive and was racing through a million thoughts at once. His mouth felt dry and part of him wanted to flee the room.

James seemed to notice the change in his demeanor. He grinned apologetically, holding his hands up in front of him.

“I won’t force it out of you,” James continued. “I just thought I’d say that I think you should take a chance if you like her that much. But don’t worry, I wont say anything. This can stay between us.”

Remus nodded automatically, feeling slightly appeased by James not pressing the matter.

“I – er – don’t really know what to say,” he muttered truthfully, and James nodded understandingly.

“You don’t have to say anything, just think about it. I just want you to be happy.”

There was more silence and Remus made himself busy, rearranging his notes in front of him. If not, his own mind would surely have driven him mad.

It wasn’t long after their conversation had dropped that Hermione had knocked on their dormitory door, having arrived to work on their essay with the two of them. James had to let her in when Remus had just sat numbly on his bed refusing to move. James told her she could sit on any of the empty beds while Sirius and Peter were gone. It was no surprise that she chose Sirius’s over Peter’s, but Remus wished she had chosen Peter’s, as it was farther away from where he was.

What James had said to him really threw him and he found it hard to look directly at her. He had become immediately self-conscious. It was lucky they were all working on the essay, he could continue to look down at his notes and parchment without seeming rude.

Remus found himself struggling to concentrate. It was all James’s fault. James seemed to realize this too because he was constantly sending Remus knowing looks whenever Hermione wasn’t paying attention to them. If she went into her bag or was nose deep in her textbook, James would start pointing at her and wiggling his eyebrows. It took all of his self-control for Remus to not blush violently whenever he did that.

Remus wanted to smack him.

The night seemed to drag on and on. Remus was too hyperaware of every movement he made as well as Hermione’s which made it impossible to relax. It was torture. He could only hope that Hermione was too engrossed in the essay to have noticed. He desperately wished Sirius and Peter would return to act as a distraction, but Professor McGonagall must have been really upset with them and was keeping them late. By the time they had finished for the night, Hermione luckily gave no tell that she had noticed anything strange as she bid them goodnight.

Later that evening when he lay in his bed, Remus struggled to sleep. Instead, he just stared up at the dark outline of the canopy on his four-poster bed, thinking about what James had said.

There was no denying he had grown attached to her, he would be kidding himself if he said he never considered the possibilities… He’d kept those feeling to himself, even after he realized how much he wanted to kiss her earlier that month. A crush was one thing, but love was another. He had never been in love before, he wasn’t sure how it was supposed to feel. When did someone know if their feelings for someone became strong enough to be considered love?

There was no helping the memories that began to flood his mind as he thought back to specific moments of Hermione. He recalled the very first time he saw her that first night of the school year when she had stood outside of the Common Room confused on why she could no longer get in and the way her brows furrowed and her lips pursed in annoyance. He had been so confused and intrigued by the strange girl, who only proved to be stranger the longer he knew her.

She was so secretive while somehow still being an open book who wore her heart on her sleeve and always spoke her mind. Her unusual love for books and learning amused him, and how she would rather take notes during a Quidditch match to bring to him rather than enjoy the game herself. Quidditch certainly wasn’t her thing, but notes and reading them out to him or sneaking away to dark classrooms together at night to study definitely seemed to be.

Hadn’t his heart sped up every time she squeezed her way beside him on the couch in the common room? How her weight next to him relaxed him? Then there was the night she cried into his shoulder on her birthday when she was homesick in the library. He just held her for a while, thinking about just how right it felt and how he was honored that this secretive girl had trusted him enough to open up to him.

He seemed to notice everything about her, like how eagerly she would throw her hand into the air in class and her brown eyes would go wide and bright with excitement. How she would try her best to hide her delight when she’d blush from the praise she got from professors. She’d try to seem humble, but it was clear she’d still be bursting with pride. Her excitement had always been so infectious to him.

Not to mention how much he admired her for her bravery. And she was brave, braver than he was. There had been that fire in her eyes down by the lake when she had stuck up for Severus and told them off. It must have been difficult to stand up against them, especially for someone she didn’t even like, but she did it anyway because she had believed it was the right thing to do. Just like when she had ranted about the mistreatment of house elves during the Christmas party. The thought of how animated she had been as she preached at him, James, and Lily brought a smile to his face.

The Christmas party had really been the turning point when he could no longer deny his feelings had grown. When she had walked down the stairs in the Gryffindor Common Room every so cautiously in her scarlet dress robes and shiny done-up hair, she had looked like the most beautiful creature in the world. The way she had told him at that party that she had wanted him to go with her because he was her closest friend, it had tugged at his heart. He had felt sad and jealous, wishing she had gotten to him before Lily. How he felt was only stronger that next morning when she had looked even more beautiful in her normal clothes and bushy hair as she carried her schoolbag over her shoulder overflowing with books, just looking like herself, like their Hermione. The Hermione he had grown so fond of.

He thought about how he desperately missed her the entire Christmas holiday and the ecstatic look on her face in the Great Hall when she first saw him when he had come back from break. How he felt miserable every time he was away from her for long stretches of time and how it seemed to vanish whenever she walked into a room.

Finally, he saw the scared look in her eyes as she waited for his reaction when he realized she knew his deepest darkest most horrifying secret, and the look of distraught he had quickly seen as he had turned and ran. But the image blurred and morphed into the memory of the way her face had been illuminated by the fire as her eyes sparkled with care as they sat together on the couch in the Room of Requirements. He had never felt so seen or accepted more than in that moment his entire life. She had admitted he was the person she felt closest to… And how he felt like the luckiest person alive that she existed. He had wanted nothing more in that moment than to close the distance between them.

His heart would skip a beat whenever they locked eyes and she said his name. And his name never did sound nearly as nice when it didn’t come from her mouth. He knew he had known for a while that he liked her. Liked her a lot – more than a lot – but love? Love was such a strong word, a word he had never associated with anyone romantically before.

But if he really had to think about it, hadn’t he truly known deep down for a while now? Was his fear of what that word meant clouding his mind of the truth? Or maybe he had been repressing it, fearing she’d never feel the same way for a monster like him. Hadn’t that been why he stopped himself when all he wanted to do was kiss her that night in front of the fire?

Suddenly he could see everything so clearly. He could feel it in his chest and he thought about that little four letter word over and over again as Hermione’s face swam through his mind. And in that moment, Remus was absolutely sure that James was right.

He loved her

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

On the morning of the next full moon, Hermione, Lily, and Mary made their way down the stairs on their way to breakfast. As they entered the Common Room, they noticed a small crowd huddled near the entrance and murmuring to each other.

Getting on her tiptoes, Hermione tried to peer over the heads of the students to see what everyone was looking at when she spotted everyone looking at the Gryffindor Notice Board. A group of girls stood near it giggling.

Her attention was dragged away from the Notice Board as a group walked up beside them, and she spotted Remus, James, Sirius, and Peter who had all just walked down from their own dormitory.

The first thing Hermione noticed were the dark circles under Remus’s eyes, and he gave her a weak smile as he caught her eye. He must have already been starting to feel the affects of the full moon. A part of her hoped it wouldn’t be a bad transformation month for him. He had already been acting slightly off the last few days, but today there was a definite physical change.

“I wonder what’s posted there,” said James who began making his way through the crowd as students started to leave for breakfast.

They followed James until the seven of them were huddled around the board. A large notice was posted with large, bolded letters at the very top:

APPARITION LESSONS

If you are seventeen years of age, or will turn seventeen on or before the 31st August next, you are eligible for a twelve-week course of Apparition Lessons from a Ministry of Magic Apparition instructor. Please sign below if you would like to participate. Cost: 12 Galleons.

“Brilliant!” said James, beaming as he pat Sirius on the back, who was also grinning widely at the board.

“We’re going to be able to apparate this summer!” said Sirius. He was the first to move forward to sign his name.

“If we pass our tests…” said Peter, looking at the notice nervously while they all began to write their names down one after the other.

“Of course we’ll pass our tests,” said James, putting his hand on Peter’s shoulders. “All of us.”

The only thing Hermione could think about was if she would even be allowed to get an Apparition License in this time. Technically, she didn’t really exist. Hadn’t Dumbledore told her he was covering for her existence with the Ministry? Yet she knew it would be suspicious not to sign up for lessons. If it came down to it, she was sure she could find an excuse to miss the final exam, or to somehow fail the test. Although the thought of splinching herself on purpose to fail was not a pleasant one. Hermione made a mental note to ask Dumbledore next time she spoke with him as she too scribbled her name on the sign-up sheet.

But the rest of the Gryffindors that were still there weren’t focused on the Apparition notice, given that it only applied to the sixth years, or seventh years who hadn’t passed yet. The other students were focused on something else on the board, and it seemed to create a lot of excitement.

Below the notice for Apparition Lessons was one more large announcement stating the date of the next Hogsmeade trip, which would be the weekend after next.

“Oh no…” muttered Mary under her breath. “That’s the day before Valentine’s Day.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” said Lily.

“It sort of is,” said Mary, looking concerned. “I had told Marcus I’d go on the next trip with him. That’s a lot more pressure for a first date…”

“Surely it won’t be too much pressure since it’s not actually on Valentine’s Day,” said Hermione, not really seeing the big deal. “The 13^th is just any other day of the month.”

“Yes, but we rarely have trips that actually fall on Valentine’s Day,” said Mary with a look of horror in her eyes. “People here always treat the trip closest to it as if it were the actual day. There will be decorations around the village and everything! What if he now wants it to be this big romantic thing? Maybe I could cancel… or feign sick.”

“You will not!” said Lily firmly. “You’ve liked Marcus for a while now and you’ve been looking forward to that date since last term. So I forbid you to cancel. You’re going to go, and you’re going to have a lovely time.”

“Yeah… yeah, you’re right,” said Mary with a nod, but she still looked worried. “Hopefully he’ll still even want to go.”

“Of course he’ll still want to go. He’d be silly not to,” assured Lily, and this seemed to pacify Mary, who seemed to relax slightly. “Now let’s go get us some breakfast.”

Lily and Mary began walking towards the portrait hole but Hermione looked back towards the Notice Board. James, Sirius, and Peter had also left for breakfast along with most of the crowd. Remus was still staring at it, with a small frown and she walked beside him. Most of the other students had cleared out by then, which left Hermione and Remus nearly alone.

“Excited for Apparition lessons?” she asked him. He had been so deep in thought that he seemed surprised when he saw her beside him.

“Yeah, it should be fun,” he said with a nod. “I’m probably going to have to pick up extra shifts at Flourish and Blotts over Easter Holiday to pay for it though.”

Hermione nodded and she noticed Remus’s eyes glance back at the notice board nervously. The corner of his mouth fell down and there was an uneasy look in his eyes.

“If you need help paying for it…” she started, thinking about the allowance Dumbledore had been giving her. Surely there would be enough to cover what Remus couldn’t since she rarely spent it. But Remus winced at her statement and she didn’t continue it. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply…”

“No, no, that’s not it. Don’t worry, I wasn’t really even thinking about the lessons,” he said with a tired smile. “I just have a lot on my mind with… you know…”

And she did know. She put her hand by his arm, right above his elbow and gave it a comforting squeeze.

“Are you alright, Remus?” asked Hermione softly, keeping her voice low even though no one was nearby anymore. “Are the effects beginning to feel too strong?”

“I’ll be fine,” he said wearily but Hermione didn’t believe him.

“Well, if there’s anything I can do…”

“Just my notes when I’m gone,” he said with a smile.

“I’ll bring them to you first thing in the morning,” she promised.

“Did you want to head for breakfast?” he asked her, forcing another smile to his tired looking face. All Hermione could do was nod.

As the rest of the day went on, Hermione noticed that Remus’s mood seemed to worsen. He seemed disconnected and tired, and Hermione couldn’t help but worry, wishing there was something she could do for him. It was such a powerless feeling.

When it came time for lunch, he disappeared to go to the Hospital Wing until it was time for his transformation. The rest of the day felt lonelier with him gone and the classes dragged on.

The Common Room was quiet that night. Like every night of the full moon, the Marauders were up in their dormitory rather than entertaining down in front of the fire like they usually would.

This meant that her favorite armchair by the fire was free, but as much as she tried to enjoy the quietness of the Common Room while studying, she couldn’t help but think about James, Sirius, and Peter all upstairs getting ready to meet up with Remus.

The whole idea of knowing they were planning on spending the night with Remus as a werewolf made it impossible to concentrate. And if she were being honest, something felt entirely wrong about her knowing his secret and not being able to do anything with them to make it easier.

She looked over at the time on wall clock. It was getting late; they would probably be leaving soon to accompany him. What if she just went upstairs to talk to them? What would they use as an excuse to get rid of her? If she suggested they work on homework together would they be forced to stay? That would never be something she would actually go through with… Remus needed them, she wouldn’t prevent them from going. But there was that sense of curiosity thinking about what they would say to her. Would they come clean? Doubtful.

It was a dangerous game she was about to play. A part of her tried to justify this horrible idea. Now that they all knew that she knew about Remus, wouldn’t they expect that she’d be wondering how they all spent their full moons? On the other hand, this might be pushing her luck way too far. They could think she was being nosey, or worse, that they’d assume that maybe she already knew and had been hiding that as well. At the end of her moral dilemma, her morbid curiosity won.

She made her way up the stairs towards the boys dormitories. There were muffled voices from the other side of the thick wooden door of the Marauders dormitory. She stopped and tried to listen for a moment, but she wasn’t able to make out what anyone was saying and she hadn’t really expected to. While the dorms weren’t soundproof, they did offer a decent amount of privacy with just how old and solid everything had been built. But the boys did seemed to be making a lot of noise.

With a deep breath, she hesitantly knocked three times.

Then there was silence, quickly replaced by what sounded like objects quickly being shuffled around on the other side.

“Just a moment!” called out a voice, that was most likely Sirius’s.

A few more seconds passed and the door swung open and Hermione watched Sirius dash farther back into the room.

Hermione peered into the room and looked around suspiciously. Sirius seemed to be trying to make himself look casual as he leaned up against one of the columns of his four-poster bed. His winter scarf stuck out a bit from underneath his pillow and he seemed to be trying to block it from view with his body. Peter was looking at her anxiously, his clothes were wrinkled and his hair was tussled, and Hermione had a sneaking suspicious that he had already been in his rat form when she had knocked and had quickly transformed back. James was sitting on top of his trunk, a small piece of silvery fabric was just visible sticking out from under the closed top and a singular glove sticking out from his jeans pocket. All three of them were dressed as if they were about to leave the castle, not like they normally would if they were just going to spend the night in Gryffindor Tower.

“What’s up, Hermione?” said James, shifting his weight so his leg covered the still visible square of his invisibility cloak.

“I just came to see what you were all up to,” she said innocently. “Normally you’re making a scene with games or stolen food or something along those lines. I was just studying by the fire, and something felt off with it being so calm and quiet down there.”

“Ah yeah. Well, it’s just not the same without Moony,” said Sirius, pouting slightly. “We normally stay up here on full moons.”

“It really isn’t the same without him,” she agreed, frowning slightly. Looking between the three boys in the dormitory did feel wrong without Remus, like something was definitely missing.

“Don’t worry, Hermione. He’s going to be alright. We can all go see him tomorrow,” said James, looking at her with a kind but sad smile.

Hermione sighed. “Well, could I spend some of the night with you guys? We could work on our Charms homework together.”

The boys exchanged another look and Hermione forced herself not to grin as she felt her plan working. She was curious as to how they would try to blow her off.

“We were actually just about to go to bed,” said Peter quickly. “So we can get up early and visit Remus in the Hospital Wing.”

James and Sirius hastily agreed, and Sirius let out an incredibly fake yawn as he stretched his arms behind his back.

It was actually a pretty good excuse. It almost would have worked out perfectly for them if they hadn’t forgotten what they were wearing. Hermione’s gaze immediately dropped to their feet where they had changed from their school shoes into their boots so they could walk across the snow that layered the ground of that cold February night.

James’s eyes followed hers and he looked down at his own feet and immediately smacked himself in the forehead. He caught her eye and Hermione knew he had realized she wasn’t going to buy it. This was her chance.

“You’re not… planning on going after him, are you?” she gasped, laying it on thick, trying to sound appalled and disapproving at the same time.

The three boys once again looked between each other, having a silent conversation with their eyes.

“You are!” she said, trying her best to sound accusatory. Luckily for her, that was a tone that usually came naturally.

“Now, now, Hermione,” said Sirius, a guilty grin on his face as he held his hands up in front of himself. Peter was staring daggers at him. “It’s not really what you think.”

“You’ll get yourselves killed!” she said, panic thick in her voice.

It was odd, her panic wasn’t even an act. After all the stories from her time she heard about their transformations together, she had always pictured them more as adults. How she knew Sirius and Remus to look in the future in their 30s. As she stared at the three boys and seeing how young they looked, just teenagers, and how immature they could behave, there really was a sense of fear for their wellbeing. While she knew nothing ever happened to them, she would still get that feeling of dread at the idea that her just being there could upset history somehow.

“No, we won’t,” said James, also eyeing Sirius carefully. “We know what we’re doing and can handle it.”

“And how could you possible be able to handle being around a werewolf?”

“Well that’s simple,” said Sirius, a mischievous smile forming on his face. “We’re animagi”

~o~

It had been too easy. Never in a million years had Hermione expected Sirius to just blurt out the group’s biggest secret like it was nothing. In her third year, she had learned that no one had ever known, not even Dumbledore knew they had been animagi. Yet here Sirius was, telling someone they had only known for less than six months their biggest secret.

After the appalled looks from both James and Peter, the three of them had sat her down and explained everything. They told her what they could become, when they decided to start learning and when they achieved it, where they went each full moon to transform with Remus, and why they had done it. The only thing they left out was the how, and Hermione wondered if that was done purposely or not.

Before telling her what animal they each became, Sirius had been really adamant about all of them just transforming to show her, but James had immediately shut him down, not wanting him to accidentally destroy their sleeping quarters. Instead, they just had gone around the room and told her, and Hermione had done her best to act surprised and impressed.

“The rat that charged me at the beginning of the school year in the Common Room?” Hermione had asked, feigning the realization when Peter said he was a rat.

Peter, who had been looking upset since Sirius had mentioned they were animagi, and very uncomfortable with telling her anything in that moment, finally had the corner of his lips curl slightly.

“Yeah, that was me,” he had said, with the smallest hint of pride, and Hermione was glad to have even slightly appeased him.

“Well…” she started slowly. “I guess the nicknames all make sense now.”

That got a laugh out of them.

They had accepted she knew so easily, and none of them seemed suspicious at all. A part of Hermione wondered if it had just been her luck, but there was still a nagging sensation that there was something wrong with her knowing this information. Still, she was grateful that there would be less things that she’d have to hide.

First thing the next morning, before the rest of her house had woken up, Hermione arrived early and spent nearly the entire day at Remus’s bedside in the Hospital Wing. It was odd to see him so soon after the transformation. Usually, days would have gone by before he was well enough to return. Seeing him so weak and tired in the hospital bed directly after the full moon devasted her more than Hermione thought it would.

He spent a good portion of the morning sleeping, but when he was awake, he would smile at her and assure her he was okay and that he was just happy she was there with him. His words made her feel warm and his smile was so genuine that Hermione’s guilt at how she had “figured out” all of their secrets seemed to fade away. His smile was worth it.

The rest of the Hospital Wing was empty that Saturday, but every now and then Madam Pomfrey would come around and check on the new scratch that was on the inside of his left arm.

“It could have been much worse. It’s just the one scratch this time and it wasn’t very deep. It should heal well enough,” Madam Pomfrey said to Hermione firmly as she replaced his bandages during one of the moments where he slept. She didn’t seem to question how Hermione knew, and Hermione was grateful for that. But Hermione wondered if that meant it would get back to Dumbledore that the group of them knew she knew Remus was a werewolf. But as long as she never did anything that would make Dumbledore know about them being animagi, it probably wouldn’t be so bad.

When lunch approached, and Madam Pomfrey had left to fetch herself and Remus something to eat, Remus was awake and more coherent than he had been earlier in the day. That was when Hermione told him about the night before, and how Sirius had told her about all of them. She was nervous when she told him, not knowing if it would upset him, but he only seemed to be amused.

As soon as she finished the story, telling him everything from the precious night, he burst out laughing. Well, he laughed as well as he could since his body seemed to still be in pain. Still, it was a wonderful sound to hear after knowing what he must have gone through the night before.

After he finally stopped laughing, Remus weakly smiled at her. “I can’t believe he told you,” he chuckled.

“I can’t believe it either. I honestly wasn’t expecting it at all,” she said shaking her head. And it wasn’t even a lie, she genuinely had been shocked. “He even suggested they all transform right then and there! I really think he would have if James hadn’t stopped him.”

“I wish I could have been there to see your face during all of that,” he said with a grin.

Hermione sighed. “Honestly, I wish you could have been there too. Are you upset they told me without you?”

“No, I’m glad you know,” he said, his voice sounding stronger than it had all morning. There was an intensity in his eyes as he smiled at her from the hospital bed. “It’s like you’re finally becoming one of us.”

The comment made her flush. There was no doubt that she was also starting the feel the same way, a part of their group, and she beamed at him. The thought made her so unbelievably happy that she had to turn away from him and stare into one of the lit torches and will herself not to start crying.

They had to stop their conversation when Madam Pomfrey returned with their food. Remus claimed he wasn’t really hungry and insisted Hermione share his meal with him. She tried to decline but he continued to insist until they both were sitting there each eating half of a sandwich.

The other three Marauders had joined them in the Hospital Wing after lunch, and after resting most of the morning Remus seemed to be in much higher spirits with his best friends around.

“You should have seen him, Hermione,” said Sirius enthusiastically when Madam Pomfrey was out of earshot in her office.

“No,” said Remus firmly before Hermione could respond. “She definitely should not have seen me.”

Sirius ignored him and was staring excitedly at Hermione. “At one point, he was chasing Peter around in circles, and Wormy was just zooming in and out from under furniture so fast and Moony couldn’t keep up. It almost looked like he was a dog chasing his tail. Man, that was something to watch!”

Remus let out an exaggerated sigh. “You’re unbelievable. You all are lucky I even allow you all there.”

“You know we help though!” said Sirius.

“True,” agreed Remus with a grin. “But it’s definitely not somewhere for a regular human to be. I’m still dangerous.”

“Oh, please,” said Sirius with a wave of his hand. “You’re basically just an overgrown puppy with a bit of a temper.”

Remus’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Sirius…”

“Right… sorry…” he said with an apologetic grin.

When dinnertime neared, James, Sirius, and Peter began to get up to go to the Great Hall, but Hermione stayed in her chair by Remus’s bedside.

“You coming, Hermione?” asked James.

“No, I’m not very hungry, I’m going to stay here,” she said, but Remus frowned at her.

“You need to go and eat,” he said.

“But we haven’t even looked at your notes!” she said, pulling up her bag that was filled with both hers and his notes from the day before.

“We still have all day tomorrow to go over them. Food is important.”

“It’s fine, really.”

But in that moment, her body betrayed her and her stomach let out an audible growl. She cursed herself for skipping breakfast to get there early. Apparently, half a sandwich had not been enough to hold her over. The sound made Remus grin and he raised an eyebrow at her.

“Okay, I probably should eat…”

“Yes, you definitely should,” he said with a laugh.

“I’ll be back when we’re done,” she said to him.

“No, I forbid you to come back after dinner. You’ve been here all day. Go spend your Saturday night doing something fun,” he said with a weak smile.

“Alright,” she said hesitantly, wondering what fun he possibly expected her to have. “But I’ll be back first thing tomorrow.”

“I’ll hold you too it,” he said with a tired smile as he took a hold of her hand. “Thank you. For spending the day here.”

 He gave her hand a small squeeze before releasing her to follow James, Sirius, and Peter to dinner.

Hermione felt gloomy as she sat with the other boys at dinner. She looked at Sirius, James, and Peter as they laughed and talked about their night in the Shrieking Shack with Remus and all she felt were pangs of jealousy.

It didn’t stem from not for being able to become an animagus, that had never been something that particularly interested her other than for academic purposes. There had never been a practical reason for her to want that before. And it wasn’t from the adventuring out late at night with a werewolf. If Hermione was completely honest, being locked in a battered room with a werewolf before the invention of the wolfsbane potion was one of the last things she’d want to do.

No, her jealousy was because they were able to be there for Remus and help him in a way that she never could. And she wanted that. She wanted that a lot.

“But it’s definitely not somewhere for a regular human to be,” was what Remus had said. The thought of that made her frown. There never would be anything she could do to help if things stayed the way they were.

Then, she suddenly realized something. A way for her to make a difference. Some way she could change something with minimal effect on her own timeline but something that could benefit the people there. It would have even less of an effect once she was sent back to her own time.

When dinner ended, Hermione immediately made her way to the library and pulled every book that could even begin to help her from the shelves and hid herself deep within the stacks as to not be seen nor bothered.

While time ticked away, Hermione’s frustration only increased as she pushed yet another book aside, not finding anything useful once again. Giving up was not an option, and it wasn’t until Madam Pince showed up and began berating her for staying well past closing, that Hermione forced herself to leave the library.

As she walked the corridors in annoyance towards the Grand Staircase, she realized that if she were to succeed, she was going to need some help. And she knew exactly who to ask for it.

She turned on her heel and instead of heading towards Gryffindor Tower, Hermione began making her way towards the Entrance Hall.

When she arrived right outside of the Great Hall, she sat down on one of the benchs to wait. The Marauders tended to travel as a pack and the only way to get one alone was to catch them doing something the others weren’t.

In this case, it was Quidditch.

It was too cold to wait for James at the pitch, and honestly, she couldn’t believe they still had a practice as it had snowed again all morning and the temperature had to be below freezing. There was no telling how long their practice would go, especially since Gryffindor’s next match wasn’t until next month. She hoped she hadn’t somehow already missed him, but he usually had practices this late. And Hermione had nothing but time.

Beginning to feel impatient, Hermione stood up and slowly began to pace, trying to figure out what she was going to even say to him. Should she just blurt it out? How would he even take it? Was it even a good idea to ask him? Again, she was really pushing her luck.

“Hermione?” said a voice, startling her. She turned to face the entrance to the Grand Staircase and saw a group of Hufflepuffs headed towards the door leading to the basement, but Dirk Cresswell broke off from the group and headed towards her.

“Dirk?”

“Hey,” he said with a smile. “I thought it was you. What are you doing pacing around here by yourself?”

“Oh… I was just waiting for someone,” she said, pointing her thumb towards the main door. “What are you doing out so late?”

“Gobstones club just ended,” he said with a shrug. “We usually meet out in the courtyard but it’s so cold out and the snow makes it hard to play. Professor Flitwick let us use his classroom instead.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” said Hermione politely, not really in the mood for small talk. She quickly eyed the doors to the Grounds before returning her gaze back to Dirk.

“I’m glad I ran into you. We haven’t had a Slug Club meeting yet this term and I haven’t really had a chance to see you since the Christmas holidays. I guess I’ve been busy studying for the O.W.L.s,” he said, sounding bitter.

“And Gobstones Club,” said Hermione automatically, and he laughed.

“Yes, and Gobstones club,” he said, his eyes twinkling. “We should get together sometime before the next Slug Club meeting. You can get payback from our last chess match.”

She was reminded of the chess matches they had played in the library last December when everyone else had gone home for Christmas. He had found her and asked for a game when she had been pouring over books trying to find anything helpful about time travel. She had lost every single match. It had been fun, but he had also distracted her from her research, causing her to spend the rest of the holidays in the Room of Requirement.

“Yes, that could be fun,” she said, trying to force herself to sound enthusiastic. As much as Hermione liked Dirk, he did seem to have a knack for showing up at the worst times. All she wanted in that moment was to speak to James, but she also didn’t want to hurt Dirk’s feelings.

“Are you free a week from tomorrow?” he asked hesitantly.

“A week from tomorrow? Next Sunday?” she asked blankly, wondering why he had chosen such a specific day just for a game. “To play chess?”

“Er—well yeah,” he said, his cheeks suddenly became pink and he looked nervous. “Well… I was thinking… maybe we could go together to Hogsmeade that day… and also get in another chess match?”

There was a shy look on his face and then it dawned on Hermione then what was going on and her mouth fell open. He was asking her to go with him to Hogsmeade? Like a date?

All she could think about was the big deal Mary had made about the next Hogsmeade trip being the day before Valentine’s Day and Hermione immediately grew uncomfortable.

This couldn’t be happening.

As if saved by Merlin himself, the doors leading outside swung open, letting in a blast of chilly air and a small cloud of powdered snow as the Gryffindor Quidditch team made their way back into the castle. Hermione turned towards the door and immediately spotted James’s jet-black hair flecked with white flakes of snow as he talked to one of the other chasers. The team stopped in the entrance and began kicking off the snow from their boots. Then an idea sprung into her head.

“I’m… so sorry Dirk,” she said quickly, turning back to look at him. “But I’ve already made plans with James for that day.”

Dirk looked around her and stared at the Gryffindor Quidditch team and a sort of realization spread across his face as his eyes landed on James.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize,” he said awkwardly, his cheeks growing even pinker. “I thought if anything you might have made plans with Remus…”

“Remus?” puzzled Hermione, but he just continued talking without elaborating on that statement.

“I should have known though, I mean you did bring James to the Christmas party,” he said with a small frown.

“Oh, well, it’s not really like that…” started Hermione, but Dirk cut her off.

“No worries, I understand,” he said with a forced smile. “I’ll see you around, Hermione. Do let me know if you ever want another game of chess, yeah?”

“Yes, of course, Dirk,” she said, feeling incredibly uncomfortable and confused at what had just happened. He gave her one final smile before turning and walking towards the entrance to the basement.

What just happened? She wondered. He had just asked her on a date… But had he also assumed she was dating Remus but now thought she was dating James? She did spend an awful amount of time with Remus, but that was a preposterous idea…

But had she just implied herself that she was dating James? That wouldn’t be good, she was going to have to fix that. Too many thoughts began to cloud her head and she nearly forgot what she was doing standing there in the Entrance Hall to begin with.

“Hermione?” questioned James’s voice, and he poked her shoulder causing her to jump and let out a squeak as she flipped around to see him. He grinned at her. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. What are you doing here anyway?”

She looked around him and saw that the rest of his team was already making their way towards Gryffindor Tower.

“I knew you had Quidditch practice, so I decided to wait for you here. I needed to get you alone,” she said quickly.

James took a tentative step back and raised his eyebrow at her curiously. “Er- alright… why’s that?”

“I had a question I wanted to ask you.”

“What’s up, Hermione?” he said looking confused.

“Do you know how to cast a corporeal patronus?”

He definitely didn’t look like he had expected her to say that. Why would he have?

“No… why do you ask?”

“Do you want to know how?” she asked impatiently.

“I mean, yeah… it would be really cool, but why are you asking me, and why did you have to ask me alone?” he asked, looking at her suspiciously.

“Because I can teach you, but I have also have a favor.”

He stayed silent as he looked at her like she had gone mad and her heart hammered in her chest. It was now or never. She took one long deep breath and exhaled, locking eye with him.

“I want you to teach me how to become an animagus.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 21 – Hatching a Plan

James walked numbly in the direction of Gryffindor Tower. What the bloody hell had just happened?

When he opened the door to his dormitory, he was relieved to see only Sirius there. He was sprawled on his back on his bed with one leg hanging over the side. A magazine was levitating above him, and he twirled his wand making a page turned over.

“How was practice?” asked Sirius as James walked in, not bothering to take his eyes off of the magazine.

“Where’s Peter?” James asked Sirius as he closed the door behind him.

The tone of his voice seemed to catch Sirius’s attention and he slowly sat up, allowing his magazine to fall into his lap.

“Peter took the Map and cloak and went to get us snacks from the kitchen. I think he’s going to sneak some to Remus in the Hospital Wing too. Why?”

James sighed and walked across the room and sat on his bed, dropping his quidditch bag in a heap next to his nightstand, and faced Sirius. He was grateful only Sirius was there, that was who he really wanted to talk to, he couldn’t keep anything from him – well, asides from Remus’s little crush. Part of him wasn’t sure if he could have brought himself to say anything if Peter had been there, and especially not with Remus around.

“You won’t believe this, mate,” said James. “Hermione just asked me to teach her how to become an animagus.”

Sirius’s mouth fell open. Whatever Sirius had been expecting James to say that had not been it. “You’re joking!”

James shook his head. “She caught me after practice. She said she wanted to be there for Remus like we are every month and that she wants me to teach her.”

“No way. I don’t believe you,” said Sirius, shaking his head vigorously. “You’re putting me on. There’s absolutely no bloody way little miss goody-two-shoes ‘We can’t play in the snow! We have to go to the library!’ wants to learn an incredibly illegal form of magic.”

James shrugged and shook his head. “I could barely believe it myself.”

Sirius gaped at him. “You’re bluffing!”

“And, get this, she doesn’t want Remus to know about it.”

“What? Why not?”

“Said he’d try to stop her.”

Sirius frowned and contemplated for a moment. “Well she’s not wrong. I can see Moony imploding right now if he knew.”

James had thought the same thing. While he knew Sirius suspected Remus’s feelings for Hermione – really, anyone with eyes could see it, except, perhaps Hermione – Sirius wasn’t clued in on just how deep they were like James was. Or if he did, he hadn’t said anything. And James was going to stick to his word to Remus and also keep his mouth shut. There was absolutely no way on earth that Remus would let Hermione risk her safety or risk issues with the law for his sake. There would be no reasoning with him.

“Yeah… yeah he would…”

“But they’re practically joined at the hip, how does she expect to hide this from him? It’s not like it’s a quick and easy process,” said Sirius with his eyebrows pulled together. “He’d definitely be bound to notice the mandrake leaf.”

“I told her that but she seems really adamant, even excited… She even offered to teach me how to do a corporeal patronus if I taught her.”

It had been such an odd request: him teach her how to become an animagus and she’d teach them how to do the patronus charm. Yet, he had to admit that it had piqued his interest. It wasn’t something they even taught at Hogwarts, and while the chances of them ever needing to use the spell were slim, the idea of being able to cast a patronus fascinated him. How cool would that be?

“A corporeal patronus? She can do that?” asked Sirius with wide eyes, sounding impressed.

“I guess she can,” said James, shrugging again. His shoulders were going to be sore after this conversation was over. “Beauxbatons must be really advanced.”

“Do you think she could teach me too?”

“I don’t see why not,” said James. “And Peter.”

“Well, what did you tell her you’d do?” asked Sirius eagerly.

“I told her I had to think about it, and then I came to tell you so you could tell me if I should do it or not.”

Sirius hesitated and bit his lower lip. “Are you? Going to do it, I mean?”

“Should I? Should we? It’s not just up to me, is it now?”

Sirius shook his head. “Wormtail won’t be for it.”

James had been worried Sirius would say that, and his stomach twisted in a knot knowing it was probably true. The relationship between Peter and Hermione had never been the most pleasant. They always seemed to try to tolerate each other rather than actually enjoy being together, especially from Hermione’s side. Peter would most definitely not be fond of the idea at all. Maybe the patronus charm lessons would sway him. James hoped that it could be good bonding for the two of them.

“Keeping it from Remus is one thing… that’s for his own good… but we can’t keep it from Peter,” said James, thinking out loud. “It wouldn’t be right.”

“No, he’s as much of a part of it as us. Keeping him out of something this big is a Marauders betrayal,” agreed Sirius. “So, what are you going to do?”

“What would you do?”

Sirius smirked a bit. “I think it would be fun. We haven’t had a real adventure in a while. Not since we finished the map.”

It was true, sure they snuck around the grounds on a full moon, or they’d sneak to the kitchens like Peter was doing right then. But nothing had been more thrilling than creating the Marauder’s Map or when they secretly learned to be animagi. James’s heart began to race in his chest at the prospect of another Marauders adventure, only this time with Hermione.

“Is it bad that I kind of want to do it?” admitted James.

“Only if it’s bad that I want to too,” grinned Sirius. “The Marauders are back in action!”

James grinned at his best friend, feeling the excitement radiating off of him himself. Another adventure…

“So… now what?”

“Well, first you need to make sure Hermione knows what she’s getting into. Maybe wait a few days to get back to her. See if she’s actually willing to go through with it,” said Sirius, and James nodded. “Then… then we can tell Peter.”

“And then we can tell Peter,” echoed James.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

Hermione had the feeling that James was avoiding her. Or at least avoiding having to be alone with her. At meals and in class he was perfectly friendly, but whenever there was an opportunity to pull him aside, he was gone in a flash. It had been days and he had yet to give her any indication of an answer.

She had gone over all the possibilities of what she could do if he ended up saying no. Unfortunately, she hadn’t been able to find any books in the library yet that explained the method of becoming an animagus, only books on theory. Surely there would have to be a book in the Restricted Section about the practical parts, but she would have needed the invisibility cloak and the map to sneak in and check for one. The only other way would be to get a professor to sign off on allowing her to access the Restricted Section.

This posed two problems: the first being she would need to know the name of the textbook she needed so Madam Pince could retrieve the book for her – which she did not – and the second being that she would need a professor to sign off on granting her permission to even get the book – which would not be easy.

What excuse could she possibly use that would get a professor to allow her to check out a book like that without making them suspicious? A part of her believed she could most likely get some information out of Professor McGonagall by just expressing a basic level of interest and admiration for her ability to turn into a cat… but Professor McGonagall would see right through her if she asked her to sign the slip. Why would she need a book on how to become an animagus when the library was full of books on the theory? She had gotten lucky with Lockhart in her second year, but would there even be a professor that either trusted her enough or didn’t care enough to grant her that permission?

Hermione stared across the Potions classroom to where James sat, hoping to catch his eye, when the door to the classroom swung open and a cheery looking Professor Slughorn walked in, humming happily to himself.

And then it hit her. How had she not thought about it before? Her best chance would obviously be Professor Slughorn! He believed her to be smart, ambitious, talented… important enough to be collected into his little club. She couldn’t imagine him asking too many questions if she told him she wanted to advance her studies. He probably wouldn’t even second guess her! But she was still wary about asking him. Would Madam Pince or other professors ask questions if they found out he had let her get the book? But what other choice would she have if James did end up saying no?

In that moment, she decided. She was going to be on her best behavior and ask Professor Slughorn. It would be her backup plan if James rejected her request, and she was sure she could sway Professor Slughorn to grant her permission to check out the book if all else failed.

In the meantime, she would try to research what textbook had the practical approach to becoming an animagus. Researching books to find books to research from… well, it wouldn’t be the first time she had done that. She would give James until the end of the week to decide before setting forth with her own plan, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t start preparing now just in case.

She looked back over to where the boys sat, and James was looking at her with a small smile on his face. Raising her eyebrows, she tilted her head slightly and gave him a look that she hoped read “Sooo…?” but he only chuckled to himself, which earned him a curious look from Remus.

“Good afternoon, everyone!” said Professor Slughorn with a grin so big that it curled the ends of his walrus-like mustache.

While Professor Slughorn was usually a very jolly old man, there was an extra excitement visible in his eyes that day; so much so that Hermione perked up, wondering what the lesson would be. Then she noticed he was carrying a tiny black cauldron in his hand. It had a tight lid on top of it, covering it from sight and Hermione straightened up in her stool to try and get a better look in case he uncapped it.

“I have a bit of a fun surprise for you all today,” he said with a low chuckle as he placed the miniature cauldron down on desk at the front of the room. “While this is normally a potion the curriculum has us study at the end of the term, with the holiday around the corner I thought it would be fun to introduce it for today’s class.”

Professor Slughorn’s excitement was infectious and murmurs began to spread around the room as everyone waited eagerly for him to uncap the mysterious cauldron. From beside Hermione, Mary was looking at it in confusion, but Lily’s eyes had gone wide with excitement, and Hermione had a feeling that Lily must have guessed what the contents of the potion were. Hermione racked her brain to try to figure it out. She had read ahead for the next few lessons in her textbook, but the next few classes were supposed to be dedicated to poisons and antidotes. What would that have to do with Valentine’s Day? Poisons did not seem very romantic.

“Come, everyone!” said Professor Slughorn waving the class over to the front of the room. “Come gather round for a closer look. This is going to be something you’ll want to be near!”

The sound of stools scrapping against the stone floor flooded the room as the class keenly made their way to the front desk. They made almost a large circle so everyone could have a view, and it was easy for Hermione to see everyone’s faces as they anticipated what would come next. In one swift motion, Professor Slughorn pulled the lid off of the small cauldron.

The effect was immediate.

Hermione had never encountered something that smelled so good in her life. Even all of the candles that reminded her of home in the Room of Requirement had nothing on the sweet aromas coming from the small potion with mother-of-pearl sheen. Beautiful characteristic spirals of steam were dancing out of the cauldron now in lovely twirls, spreading through the dungeon air. The scent was so intoxicating that Hermione took a step forward to breathe it in deeply, and she wasn’t alone. All around the circle, her classmates were all stepping forward slightly, looking almost like they were in a trance.

“Now, who thinks they will be able to tell me what this little potion is, hmm?” Professor Slughorn asked with a chuckle as he took in their dazed expressions.

Hermione’s hand punched the air immediately.

“Miss Dawson?” he asked, bemused by her enthusiasm.

“It’s Amortentia!” she said, feeling slightly giddy.

“And I assume you know what it does?”

“It’s the most powerful love potion in the world!” she said eagerly. She inhaled again, sighing at the seductive scents that tickled her nose as she tried to place what it was that she was smelling. “It’s supposed to smell differently to each of us according to what attracts us, and I can smell freshly mown grass and new parchment and –”

She stopped herself as she realized the third scent. Was that chocolate? The pleasant smell of it took her by surprise. It was odd; she didn’t usually eat chocolate.

There wasn’t much time to think about this as a face from across the circle caught her attention.

Snape had his dark eyes focused directly on Lily as she stared at the potion, but it wasn’t his usual sneer. Instead, his eyebrows were furrowed, making a small triangular shape, almost as if he were worried or deep in thought. He seemed younger somehow, almost vulnerable. Hermione had never seen any kind of strong emotion from him like that before other than that night outside the Gryffindor Common Room. His eyes seemed glossed over with a mix of pain and… longing?

And then it hit her.

Oh my god! She thought. He likes Lily!

Almost as if he could read her mind, or maybe because she was staring directly at him in shock, Snape’s black eyes found her own. Hermione looked back at Lily, who wasn’t paying them any attention, and then looked back at Snape. His eyes widened slightly, and Hermione realized she had been slightly gaping. Quickly, she closed her mouth and tore her gaze away from him and stared back down at the potion, but she had been too slow. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Snape looking at her, an odd sense of fear flickered through his eyes and Hermione nearly felt bad. He must have guessed what she had been thinking.

The more she thought about it, the more obvious it seemed. How could she have not realized that? He and Lily had been so close. Out of all of his friends, Lily had been the only one that truly made him smile, not at all like the way he just seemed to tolerate Mulciber and Avery or any of the other Slytherins she’d seen him hang out with. Never in her life would she have expected to see Snape beg for anything, but he had begged for Lily back after the spat at the lake outside the common room. He had looked devasted and pitiful rather than his normal cool and collected demeanor. Mary had told Hermione that he and Lily had grown up together and had been friends for a while before even coming to Hogwarts. It would make sense that he had some sort of attachment and affection for the one person he always had growing up. But Hermione felt that it was strange to imagine Snape, even in this timeline, loving anyone.

A part of her wondered if anyone else knew, or even suspected. She had a feeling James would not be fond of the idea of Snape loving Lily at all. Was that just another reason Snape seemed to hate James? Because James showed interest in Lily? An interest Snape also shared and probably felt like he deserved based on their past? Neither Remus nor Sirius had ever mentioned anything about that in her future, so either they didn’t know, or they felt like it wasn’t right to bring it up. So, as curious as Hermione was, she would not be able to ask anyone about it and risk being the one to give them that knowledge. It just felt like another piece of information she discovered that she would just have to keep to herself. Another secret.

Hermione peaked a look back at Snape, and saw he was staring daggers in another direction now. Hermione followed his gaze and spotted James, and she thought that she was probably right about her suspicion. She could tell that James too was trying hard to not stare at Lily, but every now and then his eyes would flicker back in her direction. Knowing how much the two of them would love each other one day, seeing James be so effected by the potion and longing for Lily felt awfully romantic. Lily, however, still had her attention fixed entirely on the small potion, a look of awe and confusion clouding her green eyes, not seeming to notice the attention from either boy.

Nobody else in the room seemed to be staring at anyone directly, but there were some faces that seemed enchanted, while others looked confused, as if they were coming to realizations. Her eyes traveled around the circle until they landed on Remus, who was staring down at his feet with his jaw set tightly, as if not wanting to meet anyone’s gaze. Hermione was suddenly very curious about what he could smell. Would he also smell chocolate? The thought made her stomach flutter for some reason. She wondered if it would be rude to ask him. Her eyes shifted back to Snape who was now looking at her with a glare so piercing that she flinched slightly, tearing her eyes away from him.

“Amortentia doesn’t really create love, of course,” said Professor Slughorn, bringing Hermione’s attention back to the front of the class. “It is impossible to manufacture or imitate love. No, this will simply cause a powerful infatuation or obsession. It is probably the most dangerous and powerful potion in this room – well, aside from maybe the ones I’m about to show you that will be the main focus for the remainder of the lesson…”

Professor Slughorn gave another good-natured laugh as he capped the Amortentia. As soon as the lid was back on it, Hermione felt a sense of control return to her body. Although her desire for chocolate was now abnormally high. She looked back over to where Remus was standing and he seemed more at ease, at least he had relaxed his jaw. He looked up and caught Hermione’s eye, but his expression was almost blank and unreadable.

Professor Slughorn excused himself to get supplies for his next lecture and made his way back towards his storage room. As the class began to return to their seats, conversations beginning to start all around as people discussed the Amortentia.

“While the idea of a love potion in theory seems romantic, something just feels wrong about taking away someone’s free will to make them like you,” said Lily as they walked away from the front desk. “And to think, it’s just a mad obsession and not real love! Wouldn’t you think if someone truly loved someone, they’d want them to actually love them back and not give them a potion to create a fake infatuation?”

“I’d definitely rather someone genuinely like me rather than be forced by some potion,” agreed Mary.

“It’s a good thing they’re banned at Hogwarts then,” said Hermione. “It’s odd that the Ministry hasn’t put some sort of regulation on them.”

“Yeah, maybe one day they will. They should! But it did smell lovely,” Lily sighed.

“You’re brave to be able to tell the whole class what the Amortentia was like for you,” said Mary to Hermione as the three girls took their seats back at their table near the front of the room. She was shaking her head slightly. “I’d be far too embarrassed to let everyone know what I could smell.”

Lily raised an eyebrow at her. “Well now I’m curious. It couldn’t be that bad if it’s the thing that attracts you the most.”

Mary hesitated slightly. “Some of it was innocent enough… lavender, blueberry scones…” she looked around slightly to make sure no one else was listening, which no one seemed to be doing. “But there was also this very strong smell of cologne.”

“Cologne?” repeated Hermione. “How is that embarrassing?”

“Because I recognized it as the one Marcus wears,” Mary hissed under her breath, turning bright pink in the process as she looked around to see if anyone had heard.

Lily immediately started to laugh. “That’s adorable, Mary. You should take it as a sign! Aren’t you glad you’re still on for your date on Sunday?”

“I mean, I guess. It just feels like so much pressure,” she sighed. “Now I’m wondering what he would smell if he were here.”

“Hopefully your perfume to match,” said Lily with a wide smile. She then turned to look at Hermione. “Did you really only smell those two things? It seemed like you trailed off there at the end.”

Lily looked at Hermione innocently, but Hermione suddenly felt uncomfortable with the question. She had smelled chocolate, and while that had confused her at first, hearing that Mary’s scents were not just things she enjoyed the smell of, but people as well… Remus always smelled like chocolate, and this caused Hermione to frown slightly, wondering what that could mean.

“No, I did smell something else. But, if I’m being honest, I just got so distracted from looking around the room that I lost my train of thought. Some of the looks on people’s faces were very telling,” she said, trying her best to sound lighthearted and casual, even though what she said was technically the truth as she thought back to Snape. That wasn’t something she planned on telling Lily.

“What else did you smell?”

“You’re asking a lot of questions for someone who hasn’t said what they smelled. What did you smell, Lils?” Mary challenged with a slight hint of teasing in her voice. Hermione felt immediately thankful to have the attention redirected to someone else. She gave Mary a grateful smile and Mary winked back at her.

Lily, who had turned slightly pink herself, was spared from answering when Slughorn returned to the room to announce what they were going to be doing for the remainder of the double lesson.

“Now, since I can’t have you all creating love potions… I have these special potions for all of you,” he said as he placed down a crate filled with small phials of liquid at the front desk and began taking them out. “Does anyone have any ideas what they are?”

Hermione watched as Professor Slughorn unloaded the crate. Small phials of different shades of pink, purple, and red potions began littering the desk. From what she could tell from where she sat, they all looked like different potions. All of them had unique shimmers and appeared to be different consistencies, and the characteristics of their vapor spirals all varied. Hermione was sure they were all completely unique, most likely in the same category of potion rather than ones that performed the exact same function. Then she remembered what she had read ahead on, and she stuck her hand in the air.

“Ah, Miss Dawson?” said Professor Slughorn, sounding hopeful.

“Poisons,” Hermione answered, faking confidence and hoping that she was right.

“Oh, hoho!” laughed Professor Slughorn. “Very impressive, Miss Dawson! They are indeed all poisons! Ones that I have made for their specific colors to fit the theme of Valentine’s Day.”

“Poison seems a bit ironic for Valentine’s Day,” said a voice from a few tables away.

“Now, now, Mister Black,” said Slughorn looking at Sirius, with a small grin on his face. “We have all heard the phrase ‘crime of passion!’ Just think of all the people who have been killed by a lover with one of these little phials sitting right here! But just as how we will not be brewing Amortentia today, we will also not be creating poisons – sorry to disappoint you Mister Mulciber.”

Everyone’s eyes traveled to the back of the room where Mulciber was looked as if someone had run over his dog at the fact that they wouldn’t be learning how to brew poisons. Snape who was seated next to him, sent Hermione a sharp look and she quickly looked back to the front of the room at Professor Slughorn.

“What we will be doing, is that you will all be creating original antidotes for the poison you will choose after I finish this lecture. And you will be using Golpalott’s Third Law to do so. Now who can tell me –”

Hermione’s hand was in the air before he could even finish asking.

“Golpalott’s-Third-Law-states-that-the-antidote-for-a-blended-poison-will-be-equal-to-more-than-the-sum-of-the-antidotes-for-each-of-the-separate-components!” she said quickly, all in one breath.

It was like synergy: that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. To her, it made perfect sense, but by the looks on the faces of her classmates, other than Snape and Lily, Hermione assumed she was the outlier with this thought. This, however, did make her feel a bit smug. Slughorn also seemed greatly impressed, which made her feel even better, thinking this was exactly what she needed to do to get him on her side.

Slughorn’s eyes beamed with pride as he regarded her. “Well said, Miss Dawson! Take 10 points to Gryffindor!”

Hermione flushed as she always did when earning points and she looked over to where the boys were sitting. Remus was smiling at her fondly, and she felt that familiar sense of warmth flood through her. At his table, James was also grinning at her, looking as though he was trying not to laugh at a funny joke.

“Now with Golpalott’s Third Law…” said Slughorn, continuing his lecture and Hermione gave him her undivided attention.

During Professor Slughorn’s lecture, Hermione hung onto every word, copying down each step on what to do with considerable care. Just answering his questions correctly would not be enough to truly impress him if she wasn’t able to correctly brew an antidote to whatever poison she ended up getting.

“I want each of you to come and take one of these phials from my desk. You are to create an antidote for the poison within it before the end of the lesson!” Professor Slughorn said when he finally finished his lesson. “Now come up and pick your poison!” he said, and he chuckled to himself at his little joke. “And don’t forget your protective gloves!”

The phial Hermione ended up with was a deep shade of fuchsia that fizzed slightly. When she poured it into her cauldron, it sizzled and gave off the slightest floral scent. It looked so innocent and lovely that it only proved to her how very dangerous it could really be, looking as appealing and unassuming as it did.

Creating the antidote was a lot more difficult than Hermione had anticipated. There were just so many steps and not nearly enough time to complete the task. Once she used Scarpin’s Revealaspell to figure out the poison’s ingredients, she cursed to herself at just how many components the little potion had. Just separating each of them would take forever.

The heat from her burner was radiating off of her skin and she could feel herself sweating and her already unruly hair was beginning to frizz even more. She didn’t even want to think about how she was looking in that moment as more soot accumulated on her robes.

Stirring frantically, Hermione desperately tried to keep up with the instructions. Lily and Mary were both trying just as hard, but Lily seemed to have a decent grasp on what she was doing. She was doing so well that she was even assisting Mary with hers, who was struggling with small beads of sweat above her brow.

Time ticked way, and when Professor Slughorn called a twenty-minute warning, Hermione was still not very close to being done. This frustrated her more than she had words for. But at least her potion was not smelling like rotten eggs like many of cauldrons around the room were.

“It smells like feet, sir!” called out Sirius from his desk. Hermione could smell his putrid potion from where she sat and she fought against the urge to gag. “Maybe you should uncap that Amortentia again and save our sense of smell.”

“Very funny, Mister Black,” chuckled Professor Slughorn, but he was pinching his nose and eyeing the capped Amortentia as if debating if he should take the lid off again or not.

If she hadn’t been so stressed, Hermione might have laughed at that too, but she had to keep her focus on the task at hand. If anything, his calling out just annoyed her as an unwelcomed distraction.

“Five more minutes!” called Professor Slughorn, and Hermione jumped in her seat. Where had all the time gone? She quickly began shoving as many of her ingredients into her phial as quick as possible.

“Oh this is pointless!” Lily moaned next to her, looking at her own cauldron in dissatisfaction. She had made more progress than Hermione had, but even she wasn’t done either. Mary looked as though she had given up completely.

Hopping off of her stool, Lily rushed over to the store cupboard. Hermione thought this was a pointless task. What did Lily think she’d find in the last few minutes that would help her finish the antidote on time? Hermione quickly scanned the room and the only thing that comforted her was that no one seemed even close to finished.

Lily had just managed to get back in her seat as Slughorn made his rounds to examine everyone’s antidote attempts. When he stood at the desk Hermione, Lily, and Mary were at, he seemed a little disheartened to see none of them had finished.

“You’ve made a valiant effort, Miss Dawson,” he said to Hermione as he peered into her phial. “I’m very impressed with your technique, clearly you understand Golpalott’s Third Law very well!  I’m sure if you had more time you would have made a wonderfully effective antidote.”

“Thank you, sir,” she murmured, ashamed to have not finished. At least he didn’t seem overly disappointed, she may have still done enough during the class to impress him.

“Well, yes, you made an attempt, Miss Macdonald…” he muttered to Mary who frowned at the back-handed compliment. Apparently that was all he had to say to her because he quickly turned his attention to Lily and perked up at the sight of her antidote. “Ah, Lily! You were so close to finishing, my dear. You made a wonderful attempt, the farthest along of everyone in class so far!” he said admiringly, and Lily smiled back at him, a glint of pride in her eye.

“Sir, in a situation like this where there’s many different components in the poison, wouldn’t it be more effective to just use a bezoar?” asked Lily, looking at Professor Slughorn curiously and holding out a shriveled brown object for him to see. Hermione immediately recognized it at a bezoar. It must have been what she had grabbed from the cupboard and Hermione felt like a fool for not thinking of it first. A bezoar was a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and was known to be an antidote for most poisons, Professor Snape had taught them that during one of their first ever potions lessons.

“I know they can be fairly rare, but surely if you had all the ingredients to be able to make this antidote, you would most likely also have access to a bezoar,” continued Lily. “It would be a lot quicker and safer to just use that instead, rather than risk brewing a complicated antidote that may not even work.”

A twinkle flashed across Professor Slughorn’s eyes as he beamed down at Lily.

“You have some cheek!” he laughed as he took the wrinkly bezoar from Lily’s hand. “This would certainly do the trick! Very creative Miss Evans! Take five points for Gryffindor!”

He was still laughing to himself as he continued his rounds to the other tables. Hermione could hear him retch at the smell of someone’s attempt at a potion from somewhere across the room which killed his laughter.

“I wish I had thought of that,” said Hermione somberly to Lily once Slughorn was out of earshot.

Lily shrugged modestly. “It still would have been better if I had finished the potion. After all, there are certain things a bezoar can’t work as an antidote for. Like anything containing basilisk venom for example-”

“Very well done, Mister Snape!” boomed Professor Slughorn, cutting Lily off. “The only one to complete an antidote!”

Hermione, Lily, and Mary all turned to see Professor Slughorn standing at the table in the back of the room where the three Slytherin boys sat. He was beaming down at Snape’s finished bottle of bubbling antidote and Hermione scowled.

“It would be easier to just use a bezoar,” said Snape coolly, but loud enough to hear across the room.

“Right you are, my boy! Miss Evans had the same idea!” said Professor Slughorn as he turned towards their table with a grin. Lily immediately dropped her gaze, seeming to be uncomfortable with the comparison. “I’d say for your sharp potions work and sharp wit, Slytherin deserves 15 points!”

Snape had shown her up. And just when Hermione needed to get Slughorn on her side.

Hermione was furious at both Snape and herself for not thinking of a bezoar or being able to finish her antidote. It made sense that Snape, a future potions master, would be top in the class and be able to outperform her, but the stakes were much higher than just her desire to be the best, although she wouldn’t mind being the best as well. She would have to try even harder during the next class.

When the bell rang, Hermione was still fuming at being shown up. She let the boys, and Lily and Mary go on without her as she took her time clearing up her workstation. She was planning on heading directly to the library alone anyway.

By the time she left the classroom, only a few other students were still around, but she paid them no attention as she walked into the cool dungeon corridor.

“Dawson,” said an icily deep voice, and Hermione turned and faced Snape, who was looking at her like she was a bug ready to be squished.

“Severus…” she said slowly, eyeing him carefully. Mulciber and Avery were nowhere in sight, which comforted her slightly. At least his gang of future Death Eaters weren’t around. The sneer he had been giving her earlier was also gone, but his face still seemed anything but friendly as he narrowed his eyes at her, as if he were trying to seem intimidating.

“I saw you staring in class,” said Snape, sounding accusatory.

“You were across from me in the circle, Severus,” she said cautiously. “If I looked straight ahead it just happened to be where you were.”

“I’m no fool. Whatever it is you think you may know, just remember that you are not as intelligent as you pretend to be,” he said in a low, calculated voice.

“Excuse me?” Hermione scoffed.

“Just because you can memorize and recite back passages from a book does not mean you know everything,” he continued. “You clearly know nothing outside the realm of repeating words you read from a book. Especially when it comes to people.”

Hermione pursed her lips and crossed her arms.

“If what I think is going on is true, it’s not as if you were doing a good job at keeping your feelings hidden,” she retorted.

This caused him to stiffen.

“You obviously have no idea what you’re talking about. You seem to be the last person to realize people’s affections. You’re more foolish than you realize,” he snapped.

“What is that supposed to mean?” she demanded. The last person to realize people’s affections? What was he trying to get at?

He laughed darkly. “Exactly my point. So, it is best if you just kept your insufferable mouth shut.”

His words stung, and for the first time since she arrived in the past, she saw Severus Snape as the bitter and cruel professor that had mocked her for years.

“I wasn’t planning on telling anybody…” she mumbled softy, trying to hold back the tears that were beginning to threaten her.

This seemed to surprise him, and the scowl he was forcing on his face faltered, and for a moment he returned back into the vulnerable 17-year-old.

“Why?” he asked softly.

“It’s no one’s business. And I know how to keep a secret.”

“That would be… in everyone’s best interest…” he said slowly, his dark eyes examining her face carefully. There was a softer edge to his voice now, one that almost conveyed a sense of guilt but also confusion.

Hermione didn’t meet his eye, but she nodded.

“It would also be in your best interest to stay away from Potter and his friends,” he said evenly. “You don’t want to get hurt.”

Hermione flinched at the statement.

“Is that a threat?” she asked, trying to keep her voice from giving away the chill of fear that had traveled down her spine.

“No,” he said, his voice softer. “It’s a warning.”

When the realization of what his words meant hit, Hermione had to try hard to not let it show on her face. Hadn’t Remus told her that Snape also knew his secret? She couldn’t tell if the warning was coming from a good place or not. Was he truly trying to warn and protect her, or was it to try to get her to figure out Remus’s secret so he could expose him? Afterall, Snape had been the one who revealed what Remus was to the world during her third year. The thought of it made her angry.

It was so hard to figure Snape out. She was sure there was a scared boy hiding under his cold exterior, but there was still that hidden depth to him that frightened her slightly. Even in her own time, she could never get a good read on him. She wanted to trust him and believe he was on their side, but she also understood that he was still cruel and knew the Dark Arts too well. He could do magic that most would not even think to attempt, like that odd spell in the courtyard.

Snape stood there staring at her awkwardly, seeming more like a young boy than ever which only heightened Hermione’s confusion. She could only hope that whatever dark path he was beginning to take would eventually lead him to their side and that she could trust him like she was supposed to in her own time.

After another silent moment, Snape turned and began towards the Slytherin Common Room.

“What was that spell you did on the snowman last month?” she blurted out before she could help herself. “On the one that had charged you.”

Snape froze and turned back towards her. He regarded her curiously, his black eyes narrowing. “Are you that upset at a destroyed snowman?”

“No, I just didn’t recognize it and I was curious,” she said feeling nervous again, not liking the way he looked at her.

“I invented it,” he said darkly, and Hermione swallowed as she thought back to his odd slashing movements as he cut the snowman to pieces. “Heed my warning, Dawson. If things don’t turn out… well for you… don’t say I didn’t warn you. There’s danger hanging out with Potter and his friends, especially if you’re smart enough to understand what they really are.”

Without giving her a chance to respond, he turned on his heel and began to stalk down the corridor. As she watched him go, his warning replayed through her mind, but all she could think about was how he had invented that slashing spell. Maybe he was the actual danger all along.

As she walked to the Library, Hermione tried to shake the rattled feeling that had started to possess her body. To many things were occupying her thoughts at once: her desire to figure out how to become an animagus for Remus, Remus in general and that lingering smell of chocolate, and now Snape. Would she ever just feel like things were normal?

When she arrived at the library, she set down her belongings at one of the more secluded desks in the back before going on the hunt for more books that she may have missed last time she was there. Any book that seemed like it could even remotely help, she grabbed and piled them in her arms before moving onto the next shelf. It felt good to be distracted from everything else other than her animagus task.

On her way back from one of the bookshelves, Hermione passed back through the main section of the library to head back to her desk when she saw a figure walk in with black hair.

“James?” she asked automatically, and louder than she normally would have spoken in the library. This earned her a stern glare and a loud “Shhh!” from Madam Pince.

At the sound of her voice, James turned to see where she was standing and walked towards her with a grin.

“I was hoping I’d find you here,” he said when he arrived beside her. “Predictable as always.”

Hermione stared at him, her heart beginning to race slightly. If he had come looking for her, did that mean he had an answer?

“We shouldn’t talk out here though,” he added quickly, his eyes scanning the crowded main section of the library.

“I’m situated over in the back, we can talk there,” she said automatically, clutching the books closer to herself.

When they arrived at her secluded desk, Hermione placed the books she had been holding onto the table and sat down, staring at James expectantly.

“I know what you’re doing,” said James with a smirk. His hazel eyes shone with laughter behind his rectangular glasses as he sat down across from her.

“Research?” she said, picking up one of the books she had grabbed on theory and showing it to him.

“No, with Slughorn,” he said, his grin widening.

“And what may that be?” asked Hermione, raising an eyebrow, but James continued to grin at her.

“The same thing I did in my third year,” he said, and he began to lower his voice. “Buttered old Sluggy up to get access to a particular book in a certain off-limits area.”

This information shocked Hermione who had assumed he had just used his cloak to get access. Apparently, her idea of charming their potions professor was not as ingenious as she had thought.

“And it worked?” she asked hesitantly.

James’s grin got even bigger. “It was easier than I expected, really. I knew from my dad that there was some sort of potion involved, so I went in on that angle. Told Slughorn it was something my father was researching and Slughorn was always a fan of my dad’s work. It’s why he always invited me to his club. So, he began to list off books on how to make the potion. Then I knew which ones to look in until I found one with the entire process.”

“And then you asked him to sign off on a book from the Restricted Section to read it yourself?” she asked.

“Something like that,” he said with a wink.

Ah, so he had sneaked in to get it. Hermione had to admit, it was brilliant how James had managed to use his father’s connection to potions and fame to get information.

“And you remember the book? You’d be able to get ahold of it again if you helped me?” she asked.

James gave a good-natured scoff and he crossed his legs, leaning away from the desk. “Of course. You underestimate my abilities.”

“How soon would you be able to get it?”

“Well, when did you want to start?” he asked casually.

“Sunday,” said Hermione without hesitation. “We can start the research then.”

The smile fell from James’s face. “This Sunday? As in the Sunday in three days?” he paused for a moment as if trying to remember something. When he realized what was special about that day his mouth fell open. “But that’s the next Hogsmeade trip!”

“That means most of the students will be out of the castle. We won’t be bothered or overheard,” she said quickly.

“But Hogsmeade…”

She gave him a pointed look and his frown deepened. “Don’t you think this would be more important? To help Remus?”

“Remus doesn’t even know it’s happening though!” protested James, trying to keep his voice low. “What difference does it make if we start after Sunday? Or even on Saturday! Hell, I could probably get that book tonight if we really needed it! We could always go to that old classroom you and Remus always used to study in at night, no one would even know!”

Lying to Remus about what she was up to was going to be one thing, but sneaking off to their old classroom seemed like a very different kind of betrayal to Hermione. And she certainly wasn’t going to bring anyone else to their room in the Room of Requirement, even if it was probably the safest place. But while she did have ulterior motives for skipping the Hogsmeade trip, it really would be the best time to not be overheard without having to hide somewhere in the castle.

“If we meet when everyone is at Hogsmeade then we can just start the research in your dormitory. Everyone else will be gone and then no one could accidentally see us in a classroom or the library,” she said quickly, becoming fonder of her idea the more she spoke.

A part of her felt bad as James looked at her in dismay. It wasn’t very fair of her to trick him like this, but she did think this was something more important than a Hogsmeade trip.

“Are you sure it has to be during the trip?” said James, looking miserable.

This time, Hermione hesitated in her guilt. “Well… if I’m being completely honest, I may have told Dirk Cresswell we were spending that day together…”

James blinked at her. “You what?”

“He had asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him when I was waiting for you in the Entrance Hall and then when I saw you walk in it was the first thing I could think of!” she said quickly, biting her bottom lip.

James sighed deeply. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk and began rubbing his temples. “Right…

There was an awkward silence and James sighed again when he let his hand fall back to the side and leaned back in his chair. “So this is mostly so you can to get out of a date with Cresswell.”

It wasn’t a question, and Hermione nervously nodded, hoping James wouldn’t be offended that she had used him like that.

“I really wasn’t interested, and then when I saw you come in it sort of just slipped out,” she said apologetically. “I hadn’t been thinking.”

James paused for a moment before speaking. “Not interested in Dirk? Or dating?”

“Dirk,” she said immediately, but then quickly added “Or both. I-I’m not sure. It’s not something high on my list of priorities.”

Against her better judgement her mind slipped to what Dirk had said about thinking she’d have been going to Hogsmeade for Valentine’s Day with Remus. She had thought the idea was so preposterous because she had never even considered the idea of dating in this timeline. What would the point be if she was just going to get sent back to her time? But if for some reason she had considered it… Remus would make sense, right? They had gotten so close and already spent so much time together. Was smelling chocolate in the potion some sort of sign, or just a coincidence? But it would be entirely inappropriate given her circumstances. Her stomach flipped a bit, and she shoved the idea from her mind.

“But if you did want to date someone, then it wouldn’t be Dirk?” asked James, breaking her train of thought.

“Definitely not,” said Hermione shaking her head, still feeling confused. Although she was quite sure she was not confused at not wanting to go on a date with Dirk. “It’s honestly not something I put very much thought into, James.”

James nodded at her and seemed pleased with the answer.

“But now that I’ve been thinking about it, it’s a win-win because it really would be better to start work while most people are out of the castle.”

“True…” he said looking torn again.

“So… does this mean you’re definitely going to help me?” she said slowly, sitting up straighter in her chair. “That you’ll teach me?”

He let out a large, exaggerated sigh but he was smiling. “Well, I guess…”

Hermione beamed and clapped her hands together and held them tight. “Now we just need that book!”

“I’ll have it for us on Sunday,” said James with a smirk, seeming to be amused by her excitement.

“Sunday,” she breathed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 22 - Guilt

On the morning of the Valentine’s Hogsmeade trip, the sixth year Gryffindors all sat together at breakfast. The owls had just delivered the morning mail and most of them were reading their post or the Sunday Prophet.

Hermione’s own copy of the paper sat neatly folded next to her plate of food. The Christmas gift Lily had given her of a subscription had really come in handy so far and she greatly appreciated being able to stay informed at what was happening in the wizarding world during that time.

But rather than reading the Prophet, Hermione was opening a letter one of the school’s owls had dropped off for her instead. Thanks to what James had said a few months ago, Hermione had gotten in the habit of occasionally sending herself fake mail after he had pointed out that she seemed to never receive letters.

These letters she would send herself were written as if one of her friends from her time were writing her, just with names and important details changed for obvious reasons. Her favorites to write were ones addressed from Harry – or in these letters he would be Henry.

With all the weirdness around her, it had been easy to think of Harry; it was impossible not to. Anytime she looked at James or Lily she couldn’t help but be reminded of one of her favorite people. It was easier for Ron to slip her mind, and the thought of that brought on terrible guilt. It was one of the reasons she mainly tried to stick with letters involving Harry.

She smiled down at the parchment in her hands. The letter she was currently reading was a retelling of the time Draco had stolen Neville’s Remembrall during first year. She had written it as if Harry were writing to tell her about that time where he had flown during flying class to get it back.

Even though she had written it herself, reading it brought back fond memories that maybe hadn’t seemed so fond in the moment. During that flying lesson she had been so annoyed that Harry had risked getting them all in trouble by flying when Madam Hooch had specifically told them to stay grounded. She had been even angrier when Harry was basically rewarded by being given a broomstick and a place on the Quidditch team for breaking the rules. It seemed like lifetimes ago and they had all been so young…

But these types of letters were only a fairly recent idea. When she had first started sending herself post, the letters had just consisted of school notes of some sort. Rewriting all of her notes had just been like extra revising, which she found helpful. The idea of trying to write letters as if one of her friends was sending her something had been too painful at the beginning, but that pain had slowly turned into a small pang of sadness mixed with fondness as time moved on. It was almost therapeutic to write about these memories and try to mimic her friends’ personalities. And while she probably didn’t do any of them justice, in a way, it kept them alive in her mind and reminded her about where she came from and that her goal was to still get back to them.

But these fake letters were also a better cover than just notes. She had begun writing them the more she spent around other people, just in case someone got too close to see what was written in them. This seemed to pay off that morning as Sirius leaned over the table and tried to get a look at the one in her hands.

“What are you smiling at?” he asked peering down at the letter. “Who’s that from?”

“My friend Henry,” said Hermione casually, pulled the letter closer to her chest to get it out of his reach. “He was just telling me about something that happened back at Beauxbatons.”

“What happened?” asked Sirius nosily.

Hermione sighed.

“Someone stole something from one of our friends out on the grounds. They’d been tossing it back and forth between them and their other horrid friends. Henry used his broomstick to fly through them and catch it to bring it back,” she said, trying hard to leave out any specific details without sounding like she was lying.

“Nice. That sounds like something James would do,” said Sirius looking impressed as he bit off a piece of toast with a loud crunch. “Henry… Was he the one you liked?”

The question took her by surprise, and she had to try to keep her voice even.

“No… I had liked Rory. I don’t often hear from him,” she said slowly, the sensation of guilt returning at the thought of Ron.

Normally the guilt when remembering Ron was caused from her just forgetting to think about him, but over the days following their last Potions class she felt even worse. A small part of her had expected to smell something that reminded her of Ron when she had been near the Amortentia, but there had been nothing. When she had attempted to make sense of what she did smell, she had tried to convince herself it was because Ron always ate a lot of sweets and collected chocolate frog cards. That could have been why she had smelled chocolate. But if the potion did have to do with Ron, wouldn’t the smell have been more distinctly specific, like Mary’s had with Marcus’s cologne? Ron’s hair had always had a very particular smell, one she had always found appealing. Wouldn’t the potion then have smelled something like that?

Hermione wondered if she hadn’t gone back in time and had been smelling the potion as if none of this had happened with Ron and Harry by her side, if she would have been able to smell him. Would she still have been hoping they would be together instead of feeling guilty about never remembering to think about him like she did now? There had once been a time when she had thought of him constantly, wanting nothing more than for him to be thinking of her as well. But now she would go days, even weeks without remembering to think of him. When she did, that old sense of longing seemed smaller than ever. How odd it was how time could change so much.

She took a sip of her tea and let the warm spices calm her as she swallowed. As much as the thought of Harry and Ron brought a lot less pain lately than it initially had, there was still the lingering feeling of loss when thinking about them for too long. Talking about them out loud was still significantly worse.

When Hermione looked next to Sirius, Remus didn’t meet her eye. He was staring down at his plate, looking somber as he pushed his breakfast around absentmindedly with his fork.

“Are you feeling alright, Remus?” asked Lily, setting her copy of the Sunday Prophet down and looking at him with concern from beside Hermione.

Remus seemed to force the smile that came to his face. “Oh, I’m fine, I was just lost in thought.”

By the look on his face, Hermione felt like he was holding something back, but she also knew better than to question him in front of everyone. He had seemed fine yesterday, and the full moon had been over a week ago now so that couldn’t be it. She wondered what could have changed his mood to make him look so down.

Lily nodded with a sad smile and didn’t seem to question it. She was probably used to these vague kind of responses from Remus. “Well, I just hope you aren’t coming down with something again.”

“Thank you, Lily,” he said with a kind smile.

“Moony will be just fine,” said Sirius, clapping him on the back right as Remus took a sip of his juice. It sloshed out of the goblet and fell down his front.

“Brilliant… thanks, Padfoot…” he sighed tiredly as he began to mop up the liquid on his robes.

“You know, I’ve always wondered,” started Mary, staring at Sirius curiously. “What do those nicknames even mean? They’re quite strange.”

Hermione focused on Sirius, wondering how he would respond. They were strange nicknames, and Hermione had always questioned how no one ever suspected their secret. Hopefully he had enough sense that wouldn’t blurt out the truth as easily as he had to her.

The question seemed to put Remus on alert as well, as he froze slightly while drying himself off. It was barely noticeable, but Hermione could see his worry as he glanced sideways at Sirius.

“It’s a secret,” said Sirius without missing a beat. He winked at her and Mary blinked back at him. This made Remus relax. His shoulders dropped slightly as he went back to cleaning himself.

“Maybe we could have nicknames too,” challenged Mary, twirling her finger in a small circle in front of her, gesturing towards herself, Lily, and Hermione. “But normal ones that normal people have. You know, ones that actually relate to our names.”

Lily grinned at Mary. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well…” said Mary. She thought for a moment and everyone waited patiently. “Lily could be ‘Lil’ or ‘Lils’.”

“You do call me Lils sometimes and I’ve always thought it was sweet,” said Lily fondly and Mary beamed at her.

“It is sweet! And I think it would also be cute to call Hermione, ‘Minnie’,” said Mary and she smiled towards Hermione.

Hermione nearly choked on her tea. When she regained her composure, she tilted her head and raised an eyebrow at Mary.

She had gotten plenty of nicknames from kids growing up – most of them were rude, with her least favorite being Hermy – but this one, while not rude like the ones she had gotten in primary school, was definitely a first. There was nothing wrong with the name Hermione and she had never felt the need to shorten it before, even if Mary’s heart was in the right place.

“Like the mouse!” said Lily with a grin.

“A mouse?” asked Peter, looking confusingly at Lily. Mary also looked confused as she waited for Lily to explain.

“Minnie Mouse!” said Lily, looking excited, but her smile fell slightly when no one else at the table other than Hermione seemed to understand. “No?”

“Minnie Mouse is nice…” mused Hermione, trying to be polite, when in reality she was already not very fond of being called that.

“That’s a horrible nickname,” said Sirius, shaking his head and Hermione had to agree. Mary frowned at him.

“I think it’s nice,” defended Mary. “It’s a nice name in general.”

“If you’re going to give her a nickname it should be something like ‘Mione’ because then it at least sounds closer to Hermione,” he said. “Right, Remus?”

Remus, who had finished drying himself off, seemed to not have been paying the closest of attention anymore. He looked up and spoke in a soft voice. “I think Hermione’s name is lovely as it is.”

The comment touched her and Hermione couldn’t help but smile. Mary sighed, pursing her lips at Sirius.

“I think it’s rich to say a nickname is horrible when yours is ‘Padfoot’.”

“Okay, well how were you planning on shortening Mary?” questioned Sirius. “Would we just call you ‘Ma’? Because honestly, if you think our nicknames are odd but you want us to go around the castle calling you ‘Ma’ then you have a strange definition of a normal nickname.”

Mary flushed. “Of course not… I was thinking maybe something like May. That’s not too horrible.”

Sirius considered this. “That one actually isn’t so bad. But I think sticking with Mary would still suit you better.”

It was almost as if it were a compliment, and Mary blinked again and stared at him curiously, not sure what to make of it. She was probably waiting for some sarcastic comment that never came.

“But it’s not like you even call me Mary, you just call me Macdonald.”

“That’s… true,” admitted Sirius, frowning slightly. He looked like he was going to say something else but thought against it. A short and awkward silence followed.

“Now I’m glad McGonagall stayed in the room when we had detention… If we had been allowed to talk and it had been like this the entire time it would have been torture,” said Peter weakly to James who grinned. Peter wore an expression of a child whose parents wouldn’t stop arguing and Hermione felt similarly.

“Okay, fine! I give up! I’m terrible at nicknames,” sighed Mary.

When breakfast ended, there was a buzz of excitement around the Great Hall as students began leaving for Hogsmeade. Mary bounced out of view as soon as they had finished to prepare for her Valentine’s date and Hermione followed the rest of her friends back to Gryffindor tower. While James was going to meet her in his dormitory, the rest of them were going to grab their cloaks and winter gear before leaving for the cold village.

Remus still had that somewhat gloomy distracted look on his face as they made their way through the castle. Hermione had tried to catch his eye ever since they left breakfast, but it almost seemed like he was deliberately walking ahead of her. Instead, he seemed very focused on talking with Peter.

There was nothing unusual about him talking to Peter, but Hermione had gotten so used to him hanging back to talk to her when they all walked together. She was slightly hurt, wondering if maybe he was intentionally not talking to her for some reason. After all, he hadn’t even looked at her at breakfast… but then again he had also been quite quiet with everyone as well. Maybe something really was bothering him.

A part of Hermione also couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous, which was ridiculous. It wasn’t like she had some sort of claim on his attention; he was allowed to speak to whomever he wanted. Obviously, he was also best friends with Peter, James, and Sirius, so of course he would want to talk to them. Still, it stung.

“Michelle, Claudia, Doris, and I are definitely planning on going to Honeydukes and the Three Broomsticks for butterbeers,” said Lily, who had decided to walk with Hermione instead, and was happily chatting about her day’s plans. “After that it’s all up in the air. I may have to try to convince them to pop into Dervish & Banges for a bit. I think I may have burnt a small hole in my cauldron the other day when Mary and I were brewing developing solution. I’m going to need to get that fixed…”

“Is it not something you can repair yourself?” Hermione asked, tearing her eyes away from Remus and Peter as they approached the Portrait Hole to focus on Lily.

Lily shook her head sadly. “Mary and I both tried to repair it, but when we tested it the same spot still just goes weak. I think it’s just old, so I’m going to need to get it professionally looked at I’m afraid… If they can’t fix it, I’ll probably have to go to Ceridwen's and get a new one.”

Lily let out a sad sigh as Hermione stood aside as Lily climbed through the Portrait Hole. Once she was on the other side, Hermione climbed in after her and followed her towards their dormitory.

“I’m sure they can fix it,” said Hermione. Distractedly, she looked at the stairs that lead to the boys’ dormitory and saw the back of Remus’s head disappear up the steps and she frowned slightly. Was he avoiding her?

Lily followed her gaze and gave Hermione a small nudge and a soft smile as they made their way through the common room.

“Are you sure you can’t come to Hogsmeade today? You’re welcome to join me, Claudia, Doris, and Michelle. Or I’m sure the boys would be glad if you went.”

“It’s alright. I think the quiet will be good for studying anyway. Less distractions. And James is staying at the castle too, maybe I can convince him to work on Professor Warbeck’s essay,” she added.

At first, Hermione wasn’t sure if she should tell Lily that both her and James would be missing, but now she realized it would seem more suspicious if she didn’t mention it and Lily found out later. Hermione may have given Dirk the wrong idea, but she certainly was going to try not to give that same impression to Lily.

“Oh,” Lily said, clearly surprised by the news. “James isn’t going either? Do you know why?”

“I may have begged him to cover for me when I needed an excuse to say no to a date with Dirk Cresswell…” she admitted quickly, feeling her face grow warm. “He was not very happy with me.”

Lily’s green eyes went wide, and she coughed back a short laugh. “I’m sorry, what? Dirk? Why is this the first I’m hearing about this?”

“Because I felt bad about how I handled it,” said Hermione, which was the truth. “When he was asking me, James was walking back from Quidditch practice and it just slipped out when I saw him. I should have just told Dirk no.”

“You just didn’t want to hurt his feelings,” said Lily kindly as they both began to climb the stairs towards the dormitory.

“Yes, but I also don’t want anyone thinking I have any interest at all in James. And James is also annoyed he’s missing the trip so I feel badly about that as well.”

“It is a bit sweet he’s helping cover for you, though,” said Lily with a smile. Her expression had gone soft and Hermione realized she had made the right decision to tell her. If anything, she looked impressed with James’s kindness. “He’ll get over his anger when you get him an ‘O’ on his essay.”

Hermione laughed. “I guess we’ll have to see. But if I had just been honest with Dirk then I could join you all at Hogsmeade,” she said, trying her best to make it sound like she was disappointed she couldn’t go.

“Well, I hope you go to the next one at least. You can’t study through all of the trips. You deserve a break too.”

Lily gave her a sad smile as she pushed open their dormitory door and was instantly met by an exiting figure bumping into her. Lily quickly hopped backwards with a short squeal.

Mary, who must had rushed back to the common when she hurried out of breakfast, was dressed warmly but with a little more effort put into her appearance than usual in anticipated for her date. When Mary had told Hermione that people would treat the trip like it was Valentine’s Day, she must not have been exaggerating. She wore slightly more makeup on than usual and her dirty blonde hair was neatly braided down her back with little white and pink flowers in it. She wore pink earmuffs that matched the pink jumper that she must have picked out just for Valentine’s Day. One of her arms was already in her winter cloak and she seemed to be struggling with carrying her bag and pulling her other arm through at the same time when she slammed into Lily.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, Lils! Got to go! Marcus is waiting for me in the Entrance Hall!” she was flushed in the face and beaming from ear to ear as she rushed past them and down the stairs. It looked like she was still struggling with her other arm when Hermione and Lily walked into the dormitory.

Lily let out a laugh as she walked over to her bed and grabbed her own bag and cloak. “Well, let’s just hope Mary has a good time.” She started walking back towards the door but then quickly stopped. “Oh! Almost forgot!”

With a quick little skip, Lily hopped back towards her school supplies and pulled out her pewter cauldron. Holding it in her other hand, she raised her wand and tapped it lightly.

“Reducio!”

The cauldron shrunk down until it became travel sized in the palm of her hand and Lily quickly slipped it into her bag.

“Can’t forget that, now, can I?” she said with a grin as she crossed the room. She paused when she reached the door and looked back at Hermione. “You know, if you do end up going to Hogsmeade, you really are welcome to join us.”

“Thanks, Lily. I hope you all have a good time and that you figure something out with the cauldron,” she said, before remembering something. “Oh! And please don’t tell anyone about Dirk, especially Michelle.”

Lily covered her heart. “You have my word. But I want to hear all about the Dirk situation when I’m back!” She grinned and gave Hermione a small wave before leaving the dormitory.

Hermione waited a little bit in the empty room, not entirely sure how long until Remus, Sirius, and Peter left for the village. The last thing she needed was to run into them and have to explain what she was doing in their dormitory rather than the library. The entire time leading up to the trip she had tried to remain as vague as possible as to why she wouldn’t be attending and would instead be studying at the library. Other than James, the only person she had told about Dirk had now just been Lily because she did not want him finding out she had made an excuse to ditch him. Dirk was still a friend, but event thinking of dating anyone while stuck in the past seemed inappropriate. Not that she’d even want to date Dirk anyway.

She let about ten minutes go by before she left her dormitory. It seemed like a good amount of time to wait just to be on the safe side. When she got to the boys’ dormitory, she paused shortly to see if she could hear anything coming from inside. When the coast seemed clear, Hermione knocked three times.

“Come in!” said James’s voice, and Hermione pushed the door open. She spotted James digging in his trunk for something and he turned to look at her. “Ah, Hermione, good. I’m glad it’s you. I was wondering where you were.”

“Did you think I abandoned you here by yourself and went to Hogsmeade?” she teased with a small smile.

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he said with a laugh. He grinned at her before looking back into his trunk, pulling out a large and very old looking textbook from beneath a pile of clothes.

“Is that it?” she asked excitedly, rushing over to stand next to him.

“The one and only,” he said with a nod, passing her the textbook.

She took hold of leatherbound book eagerly and began to flip through to the table of contents and squeaked with glee when she saw chapters of practical approaches.

“Perfect! James Potter, you are my hero!”

James laughed and sat down on his bed. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, now.” He looked at her expectantly before letting out another laugh and gesturing for her to sit. “Well, go on then!”

Not having to be told twice, Hermione quickly sat down on Remus’s bed with the book in her lap. James was watching her with amusement as she buried her face in the book.

Most of that morning was spent with Hermione reading every single word with the utmost of care, not wanting to miss a single detail. She took careful notes on every little piece of information given so when James returned the book she would still know what she needed to do.

It was by far one of the most difficult pieces of magic she had ever read about. Reading all of the steps to the process just reminded her of her days spent in the second-floor girls’ lavatory trying to brew Polyjuice potion. The thought of that worried her; she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she managed to transform into an odd humanoid cat thing again.

“What’s that look?” asked James, staring at Hermione curiously. She hadn’t realized she had been scowling down at the book as she thought about her mishap with Millicent Bulstrode’s cat hair.

“I’m worried about not completing the process correctly,” she admitted. “What if I turn into half a cat and I’m stuck?”

James laughed at this.

“Is that what you plan on becoming? A cat? Sirius would love that. He’d chase you all across the grounds.”

Hermione pursed her lips. “Well, no. It’s not like anyone has a choice, it’s random isn’t it? Although some studies suggest that it could be linked to personality…”

She thought of Rita Skeeter being a beetle, a literal fly on the wall, bugging rooms to get information. James as a stag, brave and a leader, Sirius the dog, loyal and happy-go-lucky, and Peter… well Peter was a rat for good reason.

“But what if something went wrong and I got stuck in some sort of half-formed hybrid animal?” she questioned.

James was already shaking his head before she finished her sentence.

“I highly doubt that Hermione. If anyone can do this, it’ll be you. Blimey, you’re smarter than half of the professors here. If we were able to do it then you definitely can.”

Normally a compliment like that would have made Hermione blush with pride, but the only thing she was feeling was budding panic.

“But look at this! ‘You must carry a single mandrake leaf in your mouth from full moon to full month’ and then it says I have to take that leaf and ‘add it to a crystal vial that receives the pure rays of the moon with a single strand of your own hairs.’ And those seems like the easier steps!” She turned over the page and stared down at the rest of the instructions with a frown. “And where am I supposed to get the chrysalis of a Death’s-head Hawk Moth? That’s not an O.W.L. or N.E.W.T level potions ingredient, I doubt they’ll have that lying around in the student store cupboard…”

“You’re over-thinking it,” said James kindly.

“But am I?” she asked, hearing her own nerves echo through her voice. “Where does one even find…” she looked back down at the textbook. “‘dew from a place that neither sunlight nor human feet have touched?’ Honestly, I have no idea how the three of you even managed this.”

She had tried to make the statement sound as if she were impressed that they were able to accomplish such difficult magic, but it was clear to both her and James that she was starting to panic.

James stared at her sympathetically, and Hermione again felt bad. Here she was, panicking over something she had practically forced James to be a part of. She wasn’t even sure why she felt so anxious. When she had decided to make the Polyjuice potion she had felt so confident. Sure, there had been nerves there as well, but with this… something felt different about this.

“Sure, it looks really complicated,” soothed James. He stood up from his bed and walking over to sit beside Hermione and he looked down at the book on her lap. “But once you start following the steps one-by-one they don’t seem so bad. You just have to take them one at a time.”

“I just don’t know how I’m actually going to be able to do most of these steps…”

“Are your parents still away?” James asked, looking up from the book.

“Yes,” she said automatically, feeling the pit in her stomach grow slightly like it always did at the mention of them. “Why do you ask?”

“So you were planning on spending Easter Holiday here at Hogwarts?”

“That was the plan.”

He grinned. “Well now you can come spend it with me and Sirius.”

Hermione stared at him. “That’s a very kind offer, but what does that have to do with anything we’re doing right now?”

“Look,” he said, suddenly looking serious. “These steps are unusual. One of the reasons it took us so long to do it was because we had no idea where to start, or what we needed, or even what we really had to do. But we can knock a bunch of these steps off of the list if you come back home with us.”

“And these steps will be easier at your house how?” she wondered out loud.

“I still have some of the supplies we’ll need,” assured James. “We had stocked up on a lot just in case we messed up and had to start over – which we all had to do at least once because on more than one occasion we swallowed our leaves. Don’t forget, my dad is a potioneer! He has all kinds of ingredients in his potions laboratory. We got the Death’s-head Hawk Moth from his storage last time, and he may even have mandrake leaves. But when we did it, we wanted to start the leaf part while we were all together at Hogwarts, so we got them on our own. We should probably do that with you too, so we might need some sticky fingers.”

Hermione’s eyebrows shot up as James wiggled his fingers playfully at her. “Stealing?”

James grinned at her. “This was your idea, Hermione.”

It wouldn’t be the first time she stole potions ingredients… but for some reason this seemed a bit more selfish than when she had stolen from Snape with Harry and Ron. That had been to stop students from being petrified, and to find the heir of Slytherin. This seemed almost recreational in comparison.

“Okay fine. But only because this is for Remus,” she relented.

“We’ll have two weeks for break, which is perfect,” continued James. “If we nick the mandrake leaves beforehand, you can start a few weeks before we leave so it finishes over the break. That way there’s less of a chance for professors or Remus to notice you have it in your mouth and you’ll have plenty of time to hide the phial away outside of school. I know the perfect spot for it too.”

He looked very proud at this statement and Hermione had to concentrate on not smiling at his delighted face. She still had questions.

“But how am I supposed to get it back for the electrical storm if it’s at your house? Wouldn’t I need it be somewhere near?” she countered.

“I highly doubt they’ll be many electrical storms before summer anyway,” said James. “We get loads in south England. You can either spend the summer with us as well or, if your parents are back by then, you can just come by during the storm. We should have our Apparition licenses by then anyway since I doubt your house is connected to the floo with your family being muggles and all.”

Hermione’s heart was racing as she felt many of her nerves slip away. This could really work… James had thought of nearly everything. There was a good chance by the end of the summer she could become an animagus and be there for Remus. Well, if everything went smoothly… She couldn’t help the smile that quickly spread across her face.

“I take it that you think this is a good idea, then?” James asked with his own smile.

“I honestly do think it could work!” exclaimed Hermione, feeling more excited than she had felt in a long time. “You’re a lot smarter than you look.”

James snorted. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all this time!”

“So, what do we do now?” she asked, closing the textbook and letting it sit neatly on her lap.

“We’ll have to discuss with Sirius and Peter when we’re going to get nick a mandrake leaf,” said James, mostly to himself.

Hermione froze. “Sirius and Peter?”

“Well, yeah. If we’re going to help you become an animagus then they’ll have to be there for all the steps too,” said James, looking at her in confusion.

“I thought we were just going to keep this between us!”

“Well, I’ve already told Sirius-”

“James!”

“Hey! This doesn’t just involve you and me, it involves all of us. Sirius already said that he’s willing to help us out. Me and him just need to find the right time to tell Peter. This is a Marauders’ thing; you should be happy we even agreed to teach you.” Hermione stared at James, gaping at him as he shook his head at her. “This isn’t something we can keep from them, it’s bad enough we’re not telling Remus.”

“Yes, I suppose that’s fair…” said Hermione biting her lip. There was no way out of this one, and James had a point; it wouldn’t be right to not include Sirius and Peter. That didn’t mean she had to be happy about it. She was particularly worried about Peter knowing.

“But since they’re helping, they should come to our patronus lessons too,” continued James.

Hermione groaned to herself. This was becoming more and more complicated as the days went by.

“Okay, but then we wait until after I become an animagus for the lessons so Remus can come too. I feel bad enough doing all of this behind his back, I won’t leave him out of this as well.”

“I suppose that’s fair,” he said repeating her own words back to her with a smirk. “Now if we’re pretty much done here… can we go to Hogsmeade?”

“But what if anyone asks what assignments we did?” said Hermione, reaching for her bag with her schoolbooks in it. “All I have done are notes on becoming an animagus and I told Lily we would be working on Professor Warbeck’s essay.”

James looked so shocked it was as though she had electrocuted him. “You told Lily we were together today? What did she say?”

He shifted slightly away from her on the bed with wide eyes. Normally she would have felt bad again, but this time she was prepared with her response because she was sure she had done the right thing.

“Well, I told her what you did for me with Dirk and that you were just helping me out of a tricky situation. Not to mention I made it very clear it was basically against your will. Lily seemed very touched by your actions. She looked impressed,” Hermione said with a smirk, and James’s face lit up.

“Was she now? Said she was impressed with me?” he asked excitedly.

“She said she thought it was sweet. And with the smile on her face, it seemed like she meant it.”

James beamed at her. “Did she say anything else?”

“No, but I could tell she thought it was very kind of you,” said Hermione, laughing at his eagerness. “Now can we start that essay?”

“You’re joking… you actually really want to do the essay?”

“Of course! We might as well since we’re here!”

James groaned and fell backwards onto Remus’s bed with a bounce. “You’re killing me, Dawson.”

“The faster we start the essay the faster you’ll be finished and then we may have time to get to the village,” she said.

This seemed to get through to him because he heaved himself off of Remus’s bed and went back to his own. He was muttering to himself as he sat down and grabbed his own school bag.

They spent a good part of the afternoon working on their essay on Inferi. With the two of them working together, the essay didn’t take nearly as long as Hermione had originally expected. She had never worked alone on assignments with James, and it was amazing how quickly he was able to work when Sirius wasn’t around for them to goof off. The thought of that amused her.

James seemed to be working at super speed, as he was so determined to finish his work as fast as possible. When Hermione checked over his essay after he claimed he was done, she was actually impressed with the quality of it. James might earn that ‘O’ like Lily had said after all, even without much assistance from her.

“Now can we please go to Hogsmeade for a bit before they start sending everyone back?” James begged as he shoved his books back into his schoolbag. His eyes kept shifting out the window to the darkening sky.

Looking over at the clock on the dormitory wall, Hermione sighed. There wasn’t too much time left but going to the village was probably the least she could do after all James had done for her.

“Yes, I guess there’s still time…”

“Brilliant!”

Less than ten minutes later, dressed in her winter clothes and clutching her bag, Hermione met back up with James in the common room. The walk into Hogsmeade village was a cold one. It hadn’t snowed in a few days but the path leading to the village was still packed flat with snow from the last heavy snowfall. It was overcast and the sun was already beginning to set, making the walk seem even darker than usual and a cold breeze kept curling through her hair. But there wasn’t a lot of time to focus on the chill biting through the air as Hermione was practically running to keep up with James’s pace. He really didn’t want to waste any more time.

When they approached the brightly lit, snow covered village, Hermione noticed right away that Mary had been right. Even though it wasn’t until tomorrow, there were Valentine’s Day decorations all over High Street. Windows were plastered with pink paper hearts, many of which were bewitched to look like they were beating. Pink, red, and white paper chains hung around window frames. They even passed a shop where the entire front of it was covered top to bottom in lurid pink flowers.

The most impressive display had to be Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop. It was located on a corner of High Street and a small narrow road, and it was bursting with pink. Through the window, which was also surrounded by hearts and flowers, Hermione could see there was nothing but couples inside. A few golden cherubs were flying around above the tables, sprinkling patrons with shiny pink confetti.

“Gaudy, isn’t it? Imagine getting confetti in your tea,” said James with a smirk and Hermione had to agree. She wondered if that’s where Mary and Marcus had gone. Mary had definitely dressed appropriately for it.

They decided the best place to look for Remus, Sirius, and Peter would either be the Three Broomsticks or Zonko’s, which is where James was itching to get to. Their instincts had been right because as they approached the center of the village, Hermione spotted Remus and Peter standing outside of the pub, both holding bags from Honeydukes. The sight of Remus made Hermione’s stomach flutter slightly, bringing back those feelings of guilt at hiding things from him, and remembering his odd behavior from that morning. Her second thought was wondering if he had chocolate in his Honeydukes bag.

At the sight of them, James beamed and hastened his already quick pace, making Hermione really struggle then to keep up.

“Moony! Wormtail!”

The two boys looked up at James’s voice and Remus’s eyes fell on Hermione. At first he looked confused, but then he broke into a crooked grin. The sight of his smile immediately made Hermione feel better. Maybe she had been overthinking everything and he wasn’t mad at her for something. He could have just been tired; it had been early in the morning after all.

“We weren’t expecting to see you both until we got back to the castle,” said Remus, his eyes not leaving Hermione as the two of them walked up to him and Peter. “They’re probably going to start sending us back up to Hogwarts soon.”

“Well, here we are!” said James. He looked around a bit and frowned in confusion. “Where’s Sirius?”

“Preoccupied,” said Remus with a smirk and James raised an eyebrow at him.

“What does that mean?”

“He’s a bit busy,” said Peter with a laugh.

Hermione also frowned while James continued to look confused. They were being awfully cryptic.

“I thought you were going to be in the library all day,” said Remus, clearly wanting to change the subject even though he was still grinning. “We just finished at the Three Broomsticks. If we knew you were coming we could have waited…”

Hermione quickly waved him off. “We got more done than we expected. And this one—” she jerked her thumb towards James, “—was moping about missing the trip.”

“But I’m here now!” said James, rubbing his hands together.

“Did you guys want to go back in for a quick butterbeer?” asked Remus, gesturing towards the pub.

“No time, I need to get to Zonko’s before they close,” said James, turning and staring longingly in the direction of the joke shop.

“I’ll come too!” said Peter almost too eagerly as he moved towards James.

“If you see Padfoot, tell him where we went,” called out James, who was already starting to speed walk down the street with Peter right on his heels.

Hermione looked at Remus who was smiling faintly at the retreating figures of his friends.

“What was that about?” asked Hermione as she watched the two boys hurry off towards the joke shop.

“It’s been an odd day for us,” said Remus, suppressing a smile.

“Alright… So where is Sirius?” Hermione asked, looking around.

Remus’s grin widened. Without a word, he took a few steps down the road he pointed in the direction of a tight alleyway between shops. Hermione followed him forward and peered around the corner. She looked to where he was pointing and it took her a moment to fully recognize what she was seeing.

With a gasp, she realized she was looking at Sirius, who had someone pressed up against the stone wall of the alley and the two of them were snogging rather enthusiastically. The girl was short and pale, with short black hair and that’s when Hermione recognized who the Hufflepuff was.

“Is that Doris Cassidy?” squeaked Hermione in surprised, immediately feeling embarrassed. She flipped around to stare at Remus who was laughing quietly.

“I’m afraid so,” he chuckled, nodding his head. “You should have seen how thrilled she was when Sirius asked her to pull up a chair at our table.”

Hermione’s jaw dropped in disbelief. “So, you’re telling me… that even with the extra room at your booth with James and me not there, that Sirius still made her pull up a chair instead of letting her sit with him?”

“Yes.”

Hermione smacked herself in the head with her mittened hand, earning another laugh from Remus.

“That’s absolutely horrible! Since when have Sirius and Doris been a thing anyway?” Hermione asked with a huff. She didn’t think she had ever seen Sirius even speak to Doris before and he certainly never made it seem like she was someone he was interested in.

“Oh, since about the second she sat with us at the Three Broomsticks,” he said wearily. He seemed just as uncertain about the pairing as Hermione felt. “We ran into her with Lily, Michelle, and Claudia, but she didn’t want to go with them to get a cauldron fixed or something along those lines… So she asked to join us, we said yes, and then Peter and I had to sit there while they just flirted with each other the entire time. When we walked out, they just started to… go at it…”

“That’s so—”

“—Uncomfortable?” finished Remus with a small laugh. “Tell me about it. I blame all of the firewhisky he drank.”

Hermione grimaced “I’d forgotten he was of age now…”

“Rosmerta thought the same thing. She was not pleased,” he said, his green eyes twinkling.

“Maybe it’s a good thing I only just arrived…” she said shaking her head.

Remus looked at her curiously, his smile faintly disappearing from his face. “Did you want to go in for a drink?” he asked, pointing back at the pub behind him.

“That’s alright, you just came from the Three Broomsticks.”

“How about a walk then? Before they sent us back to the castle?” he gestured down the road.

“Sure,” said Hermione with a small smile.

They set down the road, passing more pink shops and couples huddled closely together in the cold. There was an occasional snowball fight, but for the most part it seemed like most of the visiting Hogwarts students were inside the shops rather than hanging out on the cold street.

“So, was doing work the only reason you wanted to avoid this trip?” Remus asked casually as they walked.

“Avoid? Who said I was avoiding the trip? I like Hogsmeade…” she said carefully.

He ignored this. “What I can’t tell is if you avoided it because of Valentine’s Day in general, or because of a specific person.”

“A specific person?”

“It wasn’t because Dirk Cresswell asked you to go with him?” asked Remus, and Hermione’s head snapped to look at him. He wore a faint smile was on his face as he looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

“Did James tell you that?” she asked, slumping her shoulders. She had wanted as few people to know about her ditching Dirk as possible. Remus nodded at her and Hermione pursed her lips. James had seemed  rather annoyed at first when he found out she had mentioned it to Lily, and yet here he was going and telling Remus. “Was that all he said?”

This caused Remus to raise an eyebrow at her. “Yes, that’s all he told me when we were getting ready to go to breakfast. Why, was there more to say?”

Hermione quickly shook her head. “No, that’s basically it.”

“You could have told me, you know,” he said quietly. Hermione could hear a sad undertone to his words and she could feel her stomach tighten.

“I’m sorry, Remus,” she said sincerely. “James was the only person who knew before today, and that was only because he was there when Dirk asked me. I’ve tried to justify it by thinking that I should keep it to myself so I wouldn’t embarrass Dirk, but really I’ve just been covering for myself. I’ve felt terrible ever since and didn’t want many people to know about it.”

“Because you actually did want to come with Dirk?” Remus guessed.

“Oh gosh, no… That was definitely not going to happen,” she said with a bitter laugh. “I thought if more people knew, then it could get back to him that I lied just to avoid a date. And I also feel as though that I may have given Dirk the wrong idea, and I’m hoping that the wrong idea isn’t spread around. So, the less people who knew the better.”

“The wrong idea?”

“That James and I are together,” she said, exaggerating a shiver.

“Oh well you won’t have to worry about that. James made it very clear that it wasn’t a date between you two.”

“Well, good!” she huffed, which earned her a smirk from Remus. “We were just doing schoolwork. I had to be very careful with what I said to Lily earlier too so she wouldn’t get the wrong idea either.”

“Lily? Why? Do you think she would have been angry if she thought you went out with James?” he asked with a voice that sounded almost too casual.

Although he didn’t directly ask her, Hermione was pretty sure by his tone what he was really trying to figure out.

“She’s never mentioned liking James, if that’s what you’re getting at,” Hermione said quickly. “But he likes her so much and I’m holding out hope that maybe one day… well… I just don’t want to come between that. I had to make sure it was clear that James is, and will always only be, a friend. It seems like she’s starting to at least tolerate him a lot more lately, so you never know.”

She hoped by saying that she would just sound like a good friend that wanted to give two of her close friends a chance to find happiness together. Really, her main concern was that she might do something foolish and cause them to never get together somehow, if that were even possible.

So far, it thankfully seemed like she hadn’t made any changes to the future. At least not noticeable ones. But it was so hard to tell if everything she was doing just seemed like she was blending in, or if she was somehow accidentally creating minuscule changes that would one day alter something for the worse. She was not willing to try to push her luck anymore than just becoming an animagus. Making sure she didn’t disturb James and Lily’s relationship would have to something she watched out for.

“Wow, Hermione. I never pegged you for the sappy romantic type,” Remus said with a laugh, clearly having believed her concerned friend approach. His demeanor seemed to change at her words and he looked at her warmly.

“Ha ha…” she said, rolling her eyes, but she couldn’t help her small smile. “Honestly, the only reason I even forced James to stay behind was because he just happened to be the one that walked by when Dirk was asking me. I mentioned that to Lily too because I wanted her to know it was all coincidental.”

“So, you just asked James because he was there? If it had been someone else that you knew walk by then you’d have spent the day with them instead?”

“Exactly! Or at least I would have tried to get them to. I would have done the same thing if it had been Lily, or Mary, or Sirius,” she said honestly. Although she wasn’t going to mention how perfectly it had worked out that James had been the one there. It wasn’t as if Lily or Mary could have helped her today. “Or you, obviously,” she added quickly before he could get suspicious.

“I definitely would have helped you out today if you had asked me,” he said with a smile. “We could have made a day of it.”

“Thank you, that does sound nice. But now I have to worry about what happens after Dirk finds out I’m not with James. What if he tries again?” she groaned. “I should have just said I wasn’t interested.”

“Probably…” he agreed. “But if he tries again you could always use me as an excuse. I’d be happy to hide away in our room so he can’t find you.”

He looked at her so kindly that Hermione felt her face grow hot. If the day had only been about avoiding Dirk and not also learning about becoming an animagus, she would have preferred nothing more than to have spent it in the Room of Requirements with Remus.

“I’ll have to keep that in mind,” she said, her ears starting to feel warm despite the cold. “Actually, when I first told Dirk I already had plans, he was shocked when I said it was with James. He assumed they would have been with you.”

“Did he now?” he asked, his lip twitching ever so slightly.

“He did! It probably would have been more believable if I had told him that my plans were with you. But James was right there… and Mary had been going on and on about how everyone would treat today’s trip like a big Valentine’s Day thing and I panicked. It was the first thing I could think to say to get out of it when I saw James…”

She hadn’t been sure whether or not to tell him everything, but it seemed to appease Remus because he smiled to himself. It was also incredibly difficult to keep anything from him.

“Well, I can’t really blame you. Mary was right about how people treated today. It would have been an awful time to be forced into an unwanted date,” he said. He cocked his head to a bench they were walking past where two people were locked into a tight embrace. Hermione quickly averted her eyes from them to avoid the second-hand embarrassment as she thought about Dirk’s intentions. She could hear Remus chuckle to himself at her reaction. “But how unlucky for James. I’m sure he took a bit of convincing.”

“Oh, you have no idea…” she sighed, shaking her head slightly, glad to no longer be talking about dates and Valentines and Dirk. “I honestly feel terrible that I put him in that position. He seemed so upset! I’m surprised he even agreed.”

“He may be a bit full of himself at times, but he does come through for his friends,” said Remus with a nod, smiling fondly down at the path in front of him. “I wish I had stayed behind with the two of you.”

“Why do you say that?” asked Hermione, looking at him in surprise. “Did you not have a good time today?”

Remus shrugged lightly. “It just wasn’t the same. Between you and James gone, and then Sirius realizing Doris existed, it was really just me and Peter. Don’t get me wrong, I love Peter, it just felt… lonely…”

His words pulled at her heartstrings and that pesky guilt returned to Hermione’s stomach again. There was a part of her that could understand, she had felt like that on the days Remus was gone because of the full moons. Even surrounded by everyone else, there was a loneliness with him gone. It was cruel irony that Remus was who she would want to learn how to become an animagus with the most, and yet he was the one she had to keep it from.

“I would have loved to have had you join us, but I wasn’t going to make anyone else miss the trip because I was too much of a coward to just reject Dirk,” she told him instead. “I feel as though I already ruined James’s day, I’d have hated to make you miss going to Hogsmeade as well. Besides, someone had to look after Sirius and Peter.”

“Oh, trust me, Sirius was well taken care of.”

They reached the edge of High Street and turned down a path on the outskirts of the main village. It was quieter there without groups of students huddled around. The silence was peaceful as they walked side-by-side. Snow was piled higher on the path there, given that it received much less foot traffic, so their pace automatically decreased as they walked through it.

Small flurries had started, and Hermione watched the snowflakes dance slowly from the sky, illuminated as they passed under the oil lamp streetlights lining the path. With the sun having now set, everything was cast in an amber glow from the streetlights, making it feel as though the two of them were walking through a Christmas card there on the outskirts of the quaint, snow-covered village. She pulled her scarf a bit tighter and just enjoyed her surroundings.

They walked together in silence for a bit, taking in the snow and the village. Occasionally she would peak looks at Remus, and he would get this serious look on his face again, making Hermione’s mind wandered back to that morning.

“Remus?” she asked lightly.

“Yes?”

“Why were you acting so strange at breakfast this morning?”

The question clearly took him off guard and he flinched slightly. There was another silence as he seemed to consider his answer. “Besides being annoyed that Sirius made me get juice all over myself?”

It was clear he was trying to keep the conversation lighthearted, but Hermione could tell he was hiding something by the way he didn’t fully meet her eye and instead was staring at the ground as they walked.

“Even before that, you seemed off. Is everything alright?”

“I was just lost in thought,” he said with a weary smile, just as he had done to Lily when she had asked.

“That may work on Lily, but I think I know you a bit better than that. I didn’t want to say anything while we were all together and then… well...”

“Well what?” he asked, sounding confused.

“Well, we didn’t talk afterwards, so I still never got a chance to ask you,” she said, feeling brave. “I thought maybe I had done something to upset you somehow.”

His head jerked towards her and his mouth fell open as he came to a complete stop, and Hermione nearly slipped in the snow trying to stop beside him. “You thought I was upset with you?”

“I wasn’t sure what to think,” she answered truthfully, trying to regain her footing in the snow. “I couldn’t tell if you were avoiding me or if something really was bothering you. To be honest I was worried.”

“But why would that mean I was upset with you?”

Hermione shrugged, feeling slightly embarrassed. “Normally we always walk together but then we didn’t this morning. It’s silly, really…”

There was an awkward silence between them now as Remus looked at her. His eyebrows were knit together, and he looked as though he were trying to figure out if he should say something or not.

“But you do know that if there’s anything bothering you that you can always tell me, right?” she said when he still didn’t say anything.

“Honestly?” he asked slowly, staring intently at her. His expression seemed to change into one of uncertainty and he shifted his weight nervously before beginning to walk slowly down the path again.

“Of course,” she said, walking beside him, trying to make her voice sound as comforting as possible. She put her hand on his arm, hoping it may relax him, and he stared down at it as they continued to walk.

After a long pause, he let out a deep sigh. “I was upset because James said you weren’t going to be on the trip.”

“Oh,” was all Hermione could say, slowly dropping her hand from his arm.

Remus seemed to hesitate again. “I had hoped we could have come to Hogsmeade together today.”

Sadness flooded through her body as her stomach fluttered slightly, and Hermione immediately felt guilty again. Not only had she abandoned them on the trip, but she had also taken James with her for the day. She could only hope that one day Remus would understand that she was doing this for him. Maybe then the pain she was causing him would be worth it. Instead, she had to live with the shame of lying to him about even more things.

“I’m so sorry, Remus,” she said sincerely, as she started to walk slowly down the path again, keeping her eyes on the ground in front of her. “I wish we could have spent the day with all of you too. It’s all my fault that James and I couldn’t go.”

Remus had only started to walk too when his step faltered slightly and he stopped in the middle of the path again to look at her, seeming uncomfortable. Hermione stopped as well and looked up at him, holding his gaze that had suddenly turned a lot more serious.

“That isn’t exactly—”

“Oi!” yelled a voice.

Remus and Hermione both jerked at the sound turned towards one of the narrow lanes leading back to the village. Sirius was trekking through the snow at the end of the of it and waving wildly. Even from the distance, Hermione could see that he was slightly pink in the face and a sheepish, but smiling, Doris Cassidy was trailing awkwardly behind him looking just as pink.

“I thought I saw your mug, Remus!” Sirius shouted from down the tight road. He broke into a grin when he spotted Hermione. “Hey Mione! You made it! Does that mean Prongs is around here somewhere?”

Hermione just frowned at him at the use of the nickname. At least it hadn’t been Minnie.

“Zonko’s,” Remus called out to him with his hands around his mouth to enunciate his voice, sparing Hermione from having to answer.

“Wicked!” called back Sirius. “Come on, Doris, we’re going to Zonko’s!”

He gave another short wave to the two of them and then headed back down the lane towards the main road, stumbling slightly. The way he hurried reminded Hermione of James earlier, with poor Doris pushing through the snow trying to keep up.

Remus was staring down the road at the spot the two of them had just been in, looking as though someone had punched him in the gut.

“Remus?” she asked nervously, not sure what to make of his shift in mood.

“Here, follow me,” he said suddenly. Without even waiting for a response, he began walking farther away from the village, getting closer to the edge of town. His pace wasn’t quick, like James or Sirius’s had been, but he walked with a steady determination.

Hermione had a good idea where he was leading her, but she stayed silent as she followed him. Her intuition paid off when he stopped alongside an old wooden fence that blocked the path from the Shrieking Shack that sat further up a hill.

The shack was barely visible between the dark sky and the light snow flurries. But after squinting, Hermione could make out the dark shape of the old decrepit building, with dark, boarded up windows.

Remus looked at the shack, stone-faced as he walked up to the fence and gripped it tightly, letting himself lean down on it. Hermione walked after him and stood beside him, their shoulders nearly touching as she followed his gaze up to the building he sought out one night a month to transform in.

Hermione waited for him to say something, but he just stood there silently. He seemed to be having some kind of moment that she didn’t want to interrupt. So instead, she thought about the odd pairing of Sirius and Doris.

Hermione felt a sudden pang of pity for Doris. Sirius had never even mentioned her before but Hermione knew Doris liked Sirius. Hadn’t she been the one who said on their first Hogsmeade trip that she had found Sirius good looking? What had she called him? ‘Quite the looker’?

Well, she had called Sirius, James, and Remus ‘quite the lookers’, but had made it very clear she preferred Sirius to the rest. Claudia, on the other hand, had been the only one who disagreed and thought Remus was more handsome than his friends. She had then politely asked Hermione if she had agreed. It had been a very odd conversation, thinking of any of the boys in that way, especially given Hermione’s situation.

But Hermione couldn’t help but stare up at Remus, who was still looking at the shack. She used his distraction to get a look at him, a really good look, trying to see where Claudia was coming from.

He was leaning stiffly against the fence, his bag of Honeydukes sweets laying in the snow by his feet. There were snowflakes lightly caught in the escaping sandy curls that poked out from beneath his winter hat, and his skin was milky white in the cold, except for the faint rosiness of his cheeks. He was tall and lean, and his face was nearly free of the scars it would one day have. Instead he looked youthful, healthy, and boyish with his big green eyes. There was only one small little scar above his right eyebrow that would be barely noticeable unless you were up close and looking for it.

But even with the scars that he did have across his body, he really was beautiful. Not even despite them, but with them. They just added to his beauty; a sign of his strength, bravery, and resilience, showing how much he had endured and that he still came out on top.

Claudia may have been right, there was something about him that stood out from James and Sirius, but it was just so much more subtle, hidden beneath his humility. And it was more than just his looks, but also how intelligent and funny he was. There was the way that he smiled crookedly that was so endearing, and how he was always so honest. Not to mention how he radiated comfort, warmth, and kindness that made her feel so drawn to him. The more she got to know him the more beautiful he truly became.

With a jolt, Hermione tore her eyes away from Remus and looked back up at the shack. What was she even doing? She should not be thinking about anyone from this time like that, especially not people she knew in the future like Remus. It was entirely inappropriate, not to mention misguided. She was still going to go home one day.

Then there was a new feeling of guilt. Was it bad that she was now secretly hoping that the day she’d go back would at least be after she finished her animagus transformation? Yes, that was bad. Her focus should still have been entirely on finding a way home, but instead, she was spending her free time trying to learn something that would only put more roots down in this time. Then again, if she was sent home then she wouldn’t need the animagus ability at all.

The realization of it all made her mouth go dry as more guilt oozed its way throughout her body, making her feel even colder in the crisp February air around her. She was going to need to sort out her priorities.

The sound of giggles and laughter broke the silence and Hermione turned to see a group of younger Hogwarts students making their way down the deserted path. They must have been third years by the looks of them. Young and rowdy, running and stumbling through the now accumulating snow. It must have been their first time at Hogsmeade in the snow and their excitement was palpable.

Silently, Hermione watched as one of the girls threw a snowball and nailed a boy straight in the face, sending him flailing to the ground. The group all laughed, including the boy on the ground as they ran about the street, slowly growing nearer to where Remus and Hermione stood.

“Don’t get too close!” called out one of the boys, as two students from their group approached the fence blocking the road from the Shrieking Shack. “It’s haunted by a monster!”

Hermione felt Remus stiffen beside her as the boy’s group of friends all laughed and continued to throw snow at each other as they headed back towards the village.

“Don’t listen to them, Remus,” she said lightly, putting her hand on top of his on the fence and giving it a squeeze. “They don’t know what they’re talking about. Not at all.”

Still facing the shack, he closed his eyes and nodded once. Hermione watched his chest rise and fall as he took a deep breath.

“The townspeople are starting to call it the ‘Shrieking Shack’ now,” said Remus with a dark laugh. “People can hear the screams when I transform so no one ever wants to get too close to whatever monster inhabits the building.”

“That’s because all the rumors they hear about it are just that; rumors,” said Hermione easily. “People love a ghost story. I’m sure they’d be very disappointed to find out that the monster they think lives there is actually a very kind and intelligent 16-year-old student who is trying to make the best out of a difficult situation. But that wouldn’t make for a very exciting story, now would it?”

His eyes opened and he turned to look at with strong emotion.  “I suppose it wouldn’t…”

“Why did you want to come out here anyway?” she asked softly.

“I’m not entirely sure, I think I just wanted to bring you to where I go when…” he trailed off, and Hermione smiled sadly at him.

“Come, let’s go back to the castle,” said Hermione kindly, giving his hand one last squeeze before letting go. “It’s getting cold and I can see students already starting to head back.”

They started back in the direction of the village and were quickly joined by other groups of students in the road, all headed back towards the castle. Everyone around them chatted happily, having spent another enjoyable day in the quaint village. There were some people around them that were still tossing snow at each other, but luckily these ones were a decent distance away from her and Remus.

It was still snowing slightly, and Hermione noticed many couples holding hands or huddled close together. Although there were a few faces in the crowd that looked extremely put off, most likely not having had a very good Valentine’s Day experience.

What she didn’t see in the crowd were any of her other friends. There was no sign of James and Peter, nor Sirius and Doris. She didn’t even see Mary or Lily with any of the other Hufflepuffs. But in honestly, she didn’t really mind, she was usually content with just Remus.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” said Remus unexpectedly as they walked. He lifted his bag from Honeydukes and gave her a soft smile. “We didn’t think you would make it to Hogsmeade at all today, so I actually got something for you.”

He riffled through the bag and Hermione was greeted with a whiff of chocolate. For a wild moment she was confused as she wondered if he were about to hand her Valentine’s chocolates but instead, he pulled out a small white box marked ‘Deluxe Sugar Quills’.

“Ooh! My favorite!” she gushed as she took the box from his hands and beamed up at him. “You didn’t have to do that!”

He shrugged casually with a smile. “It’s nothing, just some sweets. I didn’t want you to miss out on having something from Hogsmeade.”

“Well, thank you!” she said, nudging him gently with her shoulder, smiling at the box of sugar quills. “How did you know?”

“It was the only thing you bought last time we were at Honeydukes so I just assumed they were your favorites. I made sure they were the deluxe kind too. But of course I also had to pick myself up some chocolate,” he said with a grin.

He showed her the inside of the bag and how it was filled with freshly made chocolate bars, which was why the smell was so strong. It immediately made her think of the Amortentia and Hermione forced herself not to show her budding confusion that was returning like it had that morning.

“Ah yes, of course,” Hermione laughed, trying to cover up her discomfort. “The universal remedy.”

“It really is!”

“You know,” started Hermione, taking a sugar quill out of the box and nibbling at the end of it to distract herself. “These are what Peter sent me for Christmas… I wonder how he could have possibly known…”

She glanced at Remus out of the corner of her eye and he sheepishly grinned at her.

“Ah, yes, well… I may have suggested to Peter around Christmas that it might be something you’d like… but don’t tell him I told you that.”

“You secret is safe with me,” she said, feeling warm despite the cold walk. If anything, she was just touched that he even noticed.

“I hope so,” Remus said. “You know enough of them.”

At first, Hermione wasn’t sure how to react to that, but Remus quickly began to laugh, and she easily followed suit. Their laughter made the weight of the day seem to slip away.

She was suddenly so glad that James had insisted on going to Hogsmeade, even if she had only had a little less than an hour there. It felt nice to be out in the village after stressing all day over animagus logistics and waves guilt. Getting to spend the evening walking around Hogsmeade with Remus was just want she needed.

But even with so many things running through her mind about her day, as they walked back to the castle, all Hermione could focus on was the lingering smell of chocolate.

Chapter Text

Chapter 23 - The First Move

The following night, Hermione found herself running through the castle.

After their last class of the day had ended, Hermione had immediately gone straight to the library. Ever since she and James had come up with a rough idea of how the entire animagus process was going to go, all Hermione could think of was going over the notes she had taken from that book the day before. So, she had decided to bury herself deep inside the library again where she could go over them as well as everything James had mentioned to her yesterday. She wanted to burn all the information she possibly could into her memory before they actually made a move to start the process.

It was the oddest sense of déjà vu; sneaking into the library to study things no one else could know about. Back to lying to the people around her about what she was doing and realizing her growing attachments could become distractions. Hogsmeade had been a distraction. A welcomed one, but a distraction nonetheless.

All the sneaking around and looking through books almost felt like it had when she had first arrived at that time. And while she had hit a roadblock when it came to researching ways to return home to her own time, having this new project to throw herself into was the biggest welcomed distraction of them all.

Unfortunately, it had been so distracting that she hadn’t paid much attention to how quickly the time had passed when she realized she was nearly about to miss dinner. That’s when she started to run.

As she hurried down the corridors with her school bag swinging at her side, her stomach growling uncomfortably, taunting her. If she didn’t make it quickly, she wouldn’t be able to eat until the morning. Her stomach protested again at the thought.

It had crossed her mind that she could just sneak into the kitchens later that night and get food like she had earlier in the year. Although it didn’t take much to talk herself out of it and she decided to chance running to the Great Hall instead. It had already been a miracle that she had never been caught sneaking around the castle after curfew, whether it be to the kitchens, abandoned classrooms, or the Room of Requirement. She already had enough things to be careful about without adding something else to the ever-growing list of rules she had been breaking.

“Aha! Who runs there?” yelled the portrait of Sir Cadogan, pulling out his sword and swinging it around the canvas. “Stay back and fight, coward!”

Hermione watched him incredulously as he followed her through the portraits down the hall, galloping on his own two feet as he shouted at her. His behavior was so unbelievable she didn’t even have the heart to tell him to sod off, even though her hungry side was itching to snap at him.

“Be careful on thy journey, young knight! Heed my warning, danger waits ahead!” he shouted, stopping in a painting full of cows on a farm. One mooed in protest as he got too close.

Hermione kept ignoring him, but little did she know, she probably should have heeded his warning.

As she continued her pace, she rounded a corner too quickly and slammed into a figure. Dazed from the impact, Hermione stumbled backwards, causing her bag to slip off of her shoulder. As her bag in the ground, her books, quills, and spare bits of parchment scattered across the stone floor and came to rest beside the old rundown work boots in front of her.

“Argh!” grunted a harsh voice, and Hermione froze as she stared into the livid face of Argus Filch.

Throughout the year, Hermione hadn’t paid Filch much mind. When she did notice him, he would always be lurking about, trying to catch students who were up to no good. Well, that was when Peeves wasn’t chasing him around, chucking dungbombs or water balloons at him. Hermione had to wonder if he made himself scarcer in this time because he lacked his partner in crime, Mrs. Norris. It must have been harder for him to try to catch people misbehaving if he had yet to get his tattletale cat to turn student in for him.

“I’m so sorry!” Hermione squeaked as she quickly knelt down to gather up her books. She could feel her face begin to burn with embarrassment, as well a hint of fear as Filch hunched over and sneered at her.

“You best watch where you’re going!” he snarled, his eyes bulging. “Where are we running off to? You aren’t the one planting exploding devices in the tapestries are you?”

Hermione stared at the older man’s pouchy face. His sunken eyes had that gleam in them that he would get when he was ready to turn you in to a professor, and it made her hesitate before she answered.

“What? Of course not. I was going to the Great Hall for dinner,” she managed to get out in a small voice.

“A likely story,” Filch sneered. “Dinner is almost over!”

“That’s why I was rushing,” explained Hermione quickly. “I lost track of time in the library and I didn’t want to miss dinner…”

“Don’t lie to me! You’re just up to no good!”

“Please, sir,” she said trying to not show any fear or her growing impatience. “I really need to get to dinner before it ends. I’ve been studying in the library all evening.”

Filch’s eyes traveled to her school bag and then to the small stack of books and parchment Hermione had just picked up in her arms and he appeared to concede. It wasn’t as if he had any real reason to punish her, after all. He must have realized this too and it only seemed to further annoy him.

“Then away with you! Off to dinner,” Filch spat, shooing her with his arms. “But if I find out you’ve done anything else, I still have my chains hanging from the dungeon ceiling.”

He gave her a gruesome smile, that seemed far too eager for Hermione’s liking, and she quickly nodded. She didn’t need to be told twice to get out of there.

“I’ll be keeping an eye on you, girlie!” he shouted after her as she hurried away, clutching her bag tightly to her body.

The interaction left her feeling chilled for more than one reason. That last thing she needed was an extra pair of eyes on her as she tried to become an animagus, especially not someone like Filch. If he caught her, she was sure she’d be in a world of trouble. He’d probably try to have her expelled or strung up in dungeons by her thumbs. Not to mention, if he brought her to Dumbledore on a night where she was prepping to learn to transform, not only would Dumbledore realize what she was up to, she’d probably expose James, Sirius, and Peter for what they were too. And that was information Dumbledore could never know about, not until 1994. If he did, that would surely change the future.

If anything, she would just have to be more cautious. There were far too many things in her life that were currently out of her control, so she had to focus on things in her control, like becoming an animagus. Perhaps James was right and if the boys could do it and not have anyone find out, then she was sure they would be able to help her accomplish it as well. They just had to be smart about it. Cautious.

The Great Hall was nearly empty by the time she arrived. There were pink and red decorations sprinkled throughout the hall, but other than that there wasn’t much of a festive spirit. They were nothing compared to Lockhart’s decorations from her second year, but enough to still show that it was Valentine’s Day. Although, they were looking a little worse for wear now at the end of the day. She guessed that students had probably been messing with them throughout dinner.

The dark night sky hung above the heads of the few scattered groups of students left behind, but unfortunately it was too overcast to see any stars. It would have been nice to see them; they probably would have calmed her a bit more given that she was still a bit shaken from her encounter with Filch. But her main thought at the moment was finding something to eat as her stomach gave another growl.

Hermione scanned the Gryffindor table, hoping Remus or the rest of the boys were still around, but she didn’t see any familiar faces. Neither Lily nor Mary were at the table either and Hermione frowned, not being able to help the disappointment that flooded through her.

Maybe it was a better idea to eat alone anyway. Her mind was still filled with animagi facts and she probably wouldn’t have been the most interesting company anyway.

“Hermione, hey!”

The voice hadn’t been too loud, but with so few people in the Great Hall it caused Hermione to stop in her tracks. She turned towards beginning of the Hufflepuff table where Dirk was waving her over.

He was sitting with two of his fellow fifth-year Hufflepuffs. A pile of gobstones were on the table and it appeared as though the three of them had been comparing their collections.

So much for a dinner alone…

Hesitantly, Hermione walked over towards the Hufflepuff table and forced a smile on her face.

“Oh, hello, Dirk,” greeted Hermione, trying to sound friendly. She wondered if he had noticed her at Hogsmeade the previous day and would be angry with her for lying to him. She hoped not.

To her surprise, Dirk seemed not to be too bothered by her presence. Instead, he smiled warmly at her, without a hint of hurt on his face. There didn’t appear to be an animosity towards her for not going to Hogsmeade with him, and Hermione felt herself relax slightly. Maybe things would be fine between them. After all, she did like having Dirk as a friend from the Slug Club.

“You just missed Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James. They left a little bit ago,” said Dirk. “If you need someone to sit with you can always join us.” He gestured down at the table.

Impressed with his civility, Hermione almost took him up on his offer even though she still would have preferred to sit alone at the Gryffindor table. But there wasn’t a chance to give him an answer before another voice called out to her.

“There you are, Hermione!”

Hermione turned and saw Lily bouncing towards her from the far end of the Hufflepuff table.

“Lily!” said Hermione, not managing to hide her the surprise in her voice. Hermione hadn’t thought to check for Lily or Mary at the Hufflepuff table, which clearly had been an oversight on her part.

“I thought that was you that walked in! We’ve been wondering where you were,” Lily said with a grin as she stopped beside her, linking her arm with Hermione’s. “Hello, Dirk,” she said with a smile at the Hufflepuff boy before looking back at Hermione. “Come join us, we’re down at the other end.”

Lily gestured down at the far end of the Hufflepuff table where she had been sitting with a group of girls.

“I’ll see you around, Dirk,” said Hermione, feeling slightly bad as Dirk’s face fell. She would have to make time to play chess with him another day to make up for everything.

“Yeah, alright,” he said as he gave her a small smile.

“Where have you been? I thought you’d miss dinner,” said Lily as they turned away from Dirk and began walking down the length of the table arm in arm.

“Library.”

Lily laughed and shook her head. “Of course you were. Why do I even bother asking?”

“Although, I nearly go thrown in the dungeons by Filch on my way here,” said Hermione, crinkling her nose and instinctively holding her bag tighter.

“What?” said Lily with wide eyes.

Hermione quickly went over he encounter with the Hogwarts caretaker.

Lily winced. “He’s so creepy. I’m sorry that happened. But at least you’re here and not locked in chains on the dungeon ceiling.”

She nudged Hermione playfully and Hermione couldn’t help but grin at her.

When they arrived at the end of the Hufflepuff table, Hermione recognized that the girls Lily had been sitting with were Mary, Michelle, Claudia, and Doris.

“Hey Hermione!” said Mary with a smile when she spotted her with Lily.

“Would it be alright if Hermione joined us?” asked Lily, looking around at the girls at the table.

“Of course!” said Michelle with a grin.

Hermione smiled politely around at the girls as both Doris and Claudia welcomed her as well.

Hermione unlinked her arm from Lily’s and wedged her way in between Mary and Michelle, who graciously moved aside to make more room for her. Luckily for Hermione, there was still food left scattered across the table, so she was able to finally start helping herself to dinner. Although after her clash with Filch, she was not nearly as hungry as she had been.

“Hermione quite literally just ran into Filch,” said Lily with a shudder as she rounded the edge of the table and took her own seat between Claudia and Doris on the other side.

“How?” gasped Michelle, turning to look at Hermione with surprise.

“I was rushing here and turned a corner too quickly and he happened to be right there…”

“You actually ran into him?” asked Mary, dropping her jaw.

All Hermione could do was nod as she thought back to that moment uneasily.

“Gross,” said Doris, grimacing. “He’s a mean old git.”

“You could say that again,” said Mary, rolling her eyes. “It’s a miracle you aren’t scrubbing trophies right now.”

“Or locked in the dungeon,” added Michelle.

“I’m surprised too. But please, don’t mind me. Go back to what you were talking about before I interrupted,” said Hermione as she eyed the dishes in front of her greedily.

“So, what were you saying, Mary?” asked Michelle.

“Oh, don’t get her started, Michelle. She was going on about Marcus,” laughed Doris from across the table. “Again.”

“I think he’s the one…” sighed Mary, as Hermione spooned some peas onto her plate, turning her attention to the roast chicken.

“It was literally one date, Mary…” said Michelle with a laugh from beside Hermione.

“Haven’t you guys ever just clicked with someone after one date so much that you know you want to spend your life with them?” asked Mary dreamily.

“No,” the rest of them said in unison, breaking out into laughter.

Mary grinned widely at them all. “Well, the date was perfect. He’s a complete gentleman and you’re all invited to the wedding.”

“I’ll keep my eye out for the invitation in the post,” said Lily with a grin.

“If it went so well, why are you eating with us and not over there,” said Doris, pointing to where Marcus still sat at the Ravenclaw table with a few friends from his Quidditch team.

“Will you put your hand down?” hissed Mary crossing her arms. “And just because we’re seeing each other now doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to be with our friends.”

“Fair enough,” smirked Doris.

While she never minded the days she’d join some of the Hufflepuffs with Lily and Mary,  Hermione was having a considerably difficult time looking Doris in the eye after witnessing her and Sirius in that alley the night before. So instead, she focused on her food while letting her mind drift to going over ideas on how she would manage to acquire mandrake leaves right from under Filch’s nose.

“Well, it’s nice having Mary here and not over with the Ravenclaws,” said Lily with a smile. “I’m just glad to spend time with her now since I have Prefect rounds later and then I need to do Slughorn’s potions essay.”

“Oh I never asked, but did you ever get your cauldron fixed, Lily?” Hermione asked her, distracting herself from her animagus thoughts.

Lily straightened up and beamed at her. “I did! We went to Dervish & Banges after the Three Broomsticks and they were able to fix it, so I didn’t have to buy a new one.”

“Good!” said Hermione, taking a bite of food.

“Well, not all of us went to Dervish & Banges,” said Michelle with a laugh.

Mary looked around at everyone’s smirking expressions in confusion as Doris tried her best to hide her expression. Hermione stifled a laugh as it hit her that no one had told her about Doris and Sirius yet.

“Am I missing something?” Mary asked with a frown.

“Not at all,” said Michelle, taking a bite of her food to stop herself from laughing again.

Mary pursed her lips as she looked around the table, stopping her gaze on Claudia.

“You’re awfully quiet tonight, Claudia,” observed Mary.

“Claudia is upset because she had hoped a certain someone would invite her to Hogsmeade yesterday but didn’t. Then they didn’t even acknowledge that she existed today either,” said Doris nonchalantly. “She had hoped for a Valentine at least.”

Claudia clearly didn’t like being spoken for, and especially did not seem to like being the topic of conversation. Her face went pale and she looked absolutely mortified. “Thank you, Doris…” she said uncomfortably, staring down at the table.

“Well, it’s the truth!” said Doris.

“Doesn’t mean you have to say it like that though,” said Michelle pointedly, shaking her head and patting Claudia’s hand comfortingly from across the table.

Hermione immediately felt bad for Claudia, Doris definitely could have a sharp tongue. In that manner, Doris reminded her of Sirius. Both were sometimes too bold, loud, and unfiltered for their own goods. They were either meant to be, or the two of them would one day burn the school down and laugh about it afterwards.

“Just because he didn’t ask you doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you,” said Hermione, wanting to make her feel better. “You’re very pretty and some boys find that intimidating. If you like him that much you should take matters into your own hands and ask him yourself.”

The rest of the girls at the table stared at her for a moment before glancing around at each other, exchanging odd looks. Hermione knew it was 1977, and maybe girls weren’t as forward as they had become in the 90s, but she didn’t think what she had said was that revolutionary to earn her that kind of reaction.

“Well,” Claudia said hesitantly, her eyes shifting around the table nervously. “I had expected him to go with this other girl but then I just saw him with his mates at Hogsmeade… Do you really think I should?”

“Of course,” said Hermione with a nod, even if the advice was slightly hypocritical. It wasn’t as though she had ever made the first move with someone.

A small smile began to spread across Claudia’s face. “Alright, I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you, Hermione.”

Hermione smiled back before looking back down at her plate. She had never been particularly fond of boy talk, and if she were being honest, she had too much on her mind at the moment to want to entertain it. Of course, she had gone to Ginny for advice about Viktor Krum during her fourth year and greatly appreciated Ginny’s insight, but what she had told Claudia seemed efficient enough. As rude as it sounded, she had less trivial things to think about. She let the other girls talk amongst themselves for a while and instead focused back on ways she could ditch Filch and steal mandrake leaves. Maybe James would tell her about the cloak…

“I didn’t see you at Hogsmeade yesterday, Hermione,” said Michelle, pulling her attention back to them after a few minutes of her not paying attention. “Did you end up going?”

“Only at the very end,” Hermione answered, now wishing she really had just eaten alone at the Gryffindor table. “I spent most of the day in the castle.”

“Hermione is very studious; she spent the day studying. She’s also a miracle worker because she somehow got James to do essays with her as well,” said Lily with a grin. Hermione was grateful Lily left out the part about avoiding Dirk, which she assumed was done deliberately because Lily quickly winked at her.

“Are you and James dating then?” Doris asked Hermione, eyeing Lily carefully from across the table. Hermione also noticed Michelle looking at her curiously, waiting for an answer.

“Absolutely not,” said Hermione firmly.

No one questioned her further about it.

“Well Dirk was sad that you couldn’t go,” said Michelle with a weary smile, glancing down at the other end of the Hufflepuff table where Dirk sat laughing with his friends. “But he’ll get over it.”

“I hope he does,” muttered Hermione quietly, but Michelle must have had good hearing because she gave her a sympathetic smile. It made Hermione feel better that, even though Michelle and Dirk were good friends, she seemed to hold no ill will towards her for somewhat rejecting him.

“Will you tell us more about Marcus, Mary?” asked Claudia, seeming more confident than she had the entire dinner.

Mary didn’t need to be asked twice. She launched into an entire speech about everything she had learned about Marcus the day before. Hermione used this as the perfect excuse to escape to her own thoughts again, but she did hear the occasional random Marcus Donner fact, like his favorite color being blue and how he had a dog named Ollie back home.

Trivial.

“We even had breakfast together this morning,” finished Mary with a dreamy sigh.

“Yes, we could see you making googly eyes at him at the Ravenclaw table,” snickered Doris. “I almost walked over and told you to get a room.”

Mary scowled and threw a dinner roll at her, which Doris quickly dodged with a grin.

“You’re one to talk, Doris,” said Lily, with a laugh. “Half of Hogwarts saw you in that alleyway with Sirius last night.”

Mary, who had just taken a sip from her goblet, spit out her water and Doris nearly fell backwards off of the bench trying to avoid getting sprayed.

“Wait, I think I just hallucinated,” choked out Mary, looking alarmingly between Doris and Lily as she coughed. “What is this about Sirius?”

“It sure was the sight to see,” said Claudia with a small smile and Lily nodded vigorously.

“I only felt a little sick afterwards,” added in Hermione, trying not to laugh at the horrified look on Mary’s face as she began to comprehend what was being said. Her dreamy expression had completely evaporated and was replaced with one of utter horror.

“Oh calm down, the lot of you. It was just a bit of snogging!” said Doris, her face turning slightly pink. She crossed her arms and feigned annoyance, but she looked rather pleased with herself.

“I’m sorry, WHAT?”

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

“SIRIUS BLACK!” screeched a voice from the stairwell.

Moments later, there was the sound of frantic banging on their dormitory door. “You open this door! NOW!”

Sirius laid back on his bed and smirked to himself as James, Remus, and Peter stared at him curiously. He couldn’t decide what was funnier, the sound of the screaming outside their door or the looks of bewilderment on his friends’ faces.

“Er, mate? You going to get the door?” asked James, raising an eyebrow at him.

“No, I don’t think I will,” grinned Sirius.

“BLACK!”

Sirius snickered.

“What did you do?” demanded Remus, looking at Sirius wide-eyed.

“Who even knows with her,” said Sirius with a shrug.

It wasn’t the first time he was facing the wrath of Mary Macdonald.

The banging got louder, and the door began to shake under the force of Mary’s fists.

“I know you’re in there!”

“Blimey, Pads… Just answer the bloody door. You probably deserve what’s coming anyway,” hissed James.

With a sigh, Sirius pulled himself off of his bed. Picking up one of his pillows, he chucked it across the room at James. “You’re no fun, Prongs.”

Lazily, he crossed the room, ignoring the loud bangs as he approached the door. When he reached it, he waited a moment until the banging stopped and he pressed his ear to the door. Sirius could hear angry breaths coming from the other side and he couldn’t help the barking laugh that came out of his mouth. This earned him another smack to the door that rattled his head and James cackled behind him.

“Just open it!” called out Peter.

Sirius, who was now rubbing his head slightly, grabbed the handle and swung the door open. He was immediately greeted with Mary, who was pink in the face as she stared daggers at him.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Macdonald,” he said sweetly as he smiled at her annoyed face. “Come to give me a card? Maybe some chocolates?”

Mary’s eyes immediately narrowed. “Oh, I’ve come to give you something alright…”

“As much as I usually like hearing those words from a lady, that’s a bit forward now, don’t you think? Especially coming from yourself?” he teased with a wicked grin. “What would poor Marcus Donner think?”

She scoffed in disgust and shoved her way past him and into the dormitory. Sirius watched as James, Peter, and Remus immediately straightened up in their beds at the sight of her entering their space.

“Hello, Mary…” said Peter, looking even more confused than ever.

“Peter. Remus. James,” acknowledged Mary with a nod and a forced smile to the other three boys. Then her eyes went wide as she took in their messy room, having never been there before. Once she was done scanning her surroundings, she flipped back towards Sirius, Her brown were eyes blazing once again, and she stuck her finger out at him accusingly. “You!”

“Me!” he said back to her, mimicking Mary’s own anger, which only deepened her scowl.

“What is going on?” asked James, looking between Sirius and Mary.

“Is everything alright, Mary?” asked Remus, sounding concerned, but Mary ignored them both.

“What have you done to Doris?” she demanded.

Not having any clue what Mary was getting at, Sirius put his hands in front of him in defense. He was not fond of where this conversation was going. “Whoa, what are you even talking about? I haven’t done anything to Cassidy.”

He looked at Peter, Remus, and James for some reinforcement, but they all shrugged and shook their heads, clearly not understanding as well.

“That’s a big fat lie, Black! And after what you did, you might as well call her by her first name! Why am I hearing that you were snogging Doris in some alley last night then?” she said, jabbing her finger forward in the air.

Relief at what her accusation was actually about flooded through his body and he couldn’t help his laughter. It was apparently the wrong thing to do because Mary looked even more livid.

“That’s what you’re talking about? Blimey, don’t scare me like that! You made it sound like I did something bad to her! Why are you so concerned about who I’m snogging anyway?”

“Because she likes you, you buffoon!”

“Should we… go?” asked James awkwardly, starting to stand up from his bed.

This seemed to calm Mary down slightly because she turned to look back at the other guys’ startled expressions and her own softened.

“No, that’s alright, you shouldn’t have to leave. This is your dormitory, and you all live here,” she said politely before turning back to Sirius. “Unfortunately, so does he.”

“I’m still thinking maybe we should go…” James whispered loudly across the room to Remus, who nodded back with wide eyes.

Sirius, who was now starting to feel annoyed, still had no idea what Mary was so angry about it. “So what’s so bad about her liking me? I gathered that myself last night, thank you.”

“Because she likes you, Sirius! And I don’t want you going and breaking her heart and tossing her aside like some of the other girls you’ve ‘dated’ in the past!”

Sirius raised an eyebrow at Mary as her chest heaved in anger, but he could tell that the more she got it out, the calmer she seemed to become. He had to admit that he was a little touched by her concern for her friend, even if she was acting barmy about it.

There was a slight chance Mary had a bit of a reason to be concerned. In all honestly, he hadn’t really planned on seeing Doris again in any capacity like that, but the way Mary spoke about her intrigued him. Perhaps he would have to ask her out sometime; to hangout when he wasn’t full of firewhisky. If what Mary said about her liking him so much was true, it could be worth finding out more about her.

She was also a pretty good snog.

“While I appreciate your concern for Doris,” he said, emphasizing her first name. “There’s no need to come yelling on her behalf. She’s a big girl and I’m a big boy who can do what we want. If she has some problem she knows where to find me. And it’s not as though I promised to marry her last night or something. Anyway, who’s to say I’m planning on tossing her aside? Maybe I want to see her again.”

Mary was silent for a moment as she contemplated what she was going to say next. Then, too Sirius’s surprise, she sighed and said something he never thought he’d hear come from his mouth directed to him. “You’re right… I- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come to shout at you like that…”

She looked so genuinely upset with herself in that moment that Sirius actually felt bad for her, even though she was the one yelling at him. He had gotten so used to their fights and banter; it always seemed to come so naturally to the two of them. Having her talk to him like someone she didn’t loath? That was new territory.

“It’s alright… you just care about Doris is all. I’m not trying to play any games,” he said honestly. He reached out and tried to pat Mary on the shoulder in a comforting manner, but it just came across forced and awkward. She looked at him like he were mad and took an awkward step backwards and he let his arm drop.

An uncomfortable silence followed, and Sirius thanked Merlin when Remus gave a cough to clear his throat and broke it. “So, Mary. How was your date yesterday with Marcus?”

His comment made Mary immediately perk up and she grinned bashfully as she turned to look at Remus. Sirius swore her cheeks turned slightly pink.

“It was actually really nice! Thank you for asking! We just sat and talked in Madam Puttifoot’s for so long… And we had breakfast this morning before class!”

Remus returned her smile. “I’m glad to hear it. You both make a nice couple.”

Mary beamed at him. “Do you really mean that?”

Remus nodded at her. “I do.”

Sirius stared at Remus in awe at his ability to calm girls down. It was like some sort of dark magic. One moment Mary was trying to bang down their door, screaming at Sirius, and with two comments from Remus she was a blushing blubbering mess.

“Well, thank you,” she said, smiling and looking slightly embarrassed while also giddy at the same time. “Of course, everyone says it’s still too early to tell… but I do really like him.”

She looked around the room again and saw the confused expressions on Sirius, James, and Peter’s faces at the complete change in pace of the conversation and she cleared her throat.

“Well… I guess that’s all…” she looked at Sirius out of the corner of her eye. “Again…I shouldn’t have come in yelling… sorry, Sirius. Just don’t do anything stupid to Doris or I’ll put glue in your herbology gloves and then curse you into next week.”

Not entirely knowing how to respond to her oddly specific threat, Sirius just laughed. Mary smiled at him reluctantly before turning towards Remus.

“By the way, Lily and Hermione are down in the common room,” Mary said to him. “Lily is waiting for you for Prefect rounds.”

Remus brightened up at this, but Sirius thought it had more to do with hearing Hermione’s names than Prefect rounds. Everyone knew Remus hated doing those or anything related to being a Prefect.

“They’re waiting down there now?” Remus asked, checking his watch.

Mary nodded. “I’m headed back down there now to join them before you both go. Hermione and I are going to work on Slughorn’s essay together too once Lily leaves.”

“I’ll walk you out,” said Remus, getting to his feet a little too eagerly and Mary nodded with an amused smile. “I don’t want to make Lily wait too long.”

“Give her my love!” said James as Remus walked across the room.

“Not a chance!” Remus called back over his shoulder as the two left the dormitory and James snickered.

Once the door clicked shut, Peter and James both slouched back down and Sirius returned to his bed.

“Well, that happened... I can’t believe Mary was just in here,” said Peter, looking around at the mess around his bed horrified.

“And I can’t believe Remus thinks anyone bought his ‘oh no! I can’t make Evans wait!’ act,” laughed Sirius.

“What do you mean?” asked Peter.

“Oh, come on, Pete. Look at the time,” Sirius said with another laugh as he pointed to the clock on their wall. “Their rounds don’t start for another half hour. He’s clearly going down there this early because Macdonald mentioned Hermione was there. And I think we all know why.”

“You know?” asked James, staring at Sirius curiously.

“Mate, I think the whole bloody schools knows… Was it supposed to be a secret?”

“Know what?” asked Peter, looking confused.

“That Moony is in love with Hermione,” snickered Sirius.

“We think,” added James quickly. “He’s never actually said anything. Too proud to admit it, probably.”

Sirius didn’t know why Peter seemed so alarmed by this information. It was so obvious based on Remus’s behavior, it confused Sirius that Peter could have had no idea. Even a blind man could see the way Remus looked at Hermione.

“Next step is figuring out how Hermione feels,” said Sirius cheerfully, pulling his arms behind his head and lounging backwards in his four-poster. “I mean she’s already trying to help him out around full moons.”

While Peter was still looking at Sirius in confusion, James began to try to catch Sirius’s eye. He was cocking his head in Peter’s direction and widening his eyes at Sirius. It didn’t take Sirius long to understand the look his best friend was giving him.

Ah, this was the moment then.

Sirius gave James an understanding nod and Peter looked even more confused as he turned towards James.

“What’s going on?”

“That’s actually something we wanted to talk to you about, Peter,” said James casually. Sirius could tell he was trying not to sound too intense, but his change in tone didn’t help because Peter immediately tensed up.

“What is it?” Peter blinked.

James looked at Sirius curiously, so Sirius rolled his hand at him and mouthed “go on…”

“Well, Peter… The real reason I wasn’t at Hogsmeade yesterday was because Hermione asked us to teach her how to become an animagus…”

The silence that followed was deafening while Peter sat on his bed, slowly blinking as he stared at James, expressionless. As if not believing James, Peter turned to stare at Sirius instead, waiting for him to say a punchline.

“We told her yes,” said Sirius casually, breaking the silence.

It seemed to take Peter another moment to gather himself before he exploded.

“You did what?” gasped Peter, jumping in his bed.

“We think we should teach Hermione how to become an animagus,” said James.

“No… you’re both just messing with me,” he said with a shaky laugh, but the smile never reached his eyes as he searched both of their expressions.

Sirius watched as Peter seemed to go through the five stages of grief right in front of them.

“B-but… you can’t do that!”

“I didn’t just mean me and Sirius,” explained James quickly. “When I said ‘we’ I meant all three of us!”

“And why would we do that?” demanded Peter, his eyes almost bulging out of his head.

“She wants to be able to join Remus on the full moons.”

Peter was shaking his head rapidly.

“This is a horrible idea, horrible… horrible idea…” he was muttering quickly, almost seemingly to himself.

“Why do you think that?” asked James, keeping his voice light.

Peter looked at him with large eyes.

“Because we can’t! What if we get caught? We were lucky we never got caught ourselves when we figured it out! She could get us all found out!”

“We weren’t lucky, we were smart,” said James. “You didn’t have reservations back then, why now?”

“Because that was for us to help Remus! We’re his best friends, not some random girl!”

“I’m not so sure I’d consider her random anymore…” said Sirius slowly, which earned him a glare from Peter.

“She even said she’d teach us how to do a corporeal patronus if we helped her!” said James, trying to reason with him.

Peter didn’t seem to like this bargaining tactic.

“You’re planning on teaching her how to do one of our biggest secrets so you can learn a spell?” Peter demanded, sounding horrified.

“Don’t tell me that you aren’t tempted to learn how to cast that…”

Sirius watched Peter hesitate before answering. “Well... that’s besides my point!”

“Look, Peter, I know you and Hermione haven’t always gotten along very well,” started James, speaking slowly, deliberately taking his time thinking about what he’d say next. “But she just wants to be there for Remus like we are every month. Maybe this could be a good chance for you to get to know her better!”

“And it’ll be the setup of the century!” added in Sirius excitedly. “She knows how dangerous it is and that she could get arrested for it but she still wants to do it for him! What other girl would risk life, limb, and freedom for a werewolf? And better yet, the girl he clearly fancies!”

“Just because he fancies her doesn’t mean Hermione should be there!” interrupted Peter. “Do you honestly think Remus would even want that?”

“I think Remus would lose his gobstones if he knew we were going to teach her,” said Sirius with a smirk. “So it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission here, yeah?”

Peter’s jaw dropped open, and Sirius had to bite back a laugh at the gaping expression on Peter’s face. All he could think was that it reminded him of a goldfish. “So you aren’t even planning on telling Remus you’re going to teach Hermione? He doesn’t even know?”

“Of course not,” said James. “Why do you think we just waited for him to leave before telling you? Sirius is right, he’d be way more accepting of it once he knew Hermione was already an animagus, not trying to become one.”

Peter stayed silent for a moment, he seemed to be deep in thought, but he was fidgeting nervously where he sat in his bed.

“I have to tell him…” he said suddenly, starting to stand from his bed.

“No!” yelled Sirius and James at the same time, both getting to their feet we well.

Peter froze, and the three boys stared at each other for a moment, none of them moving. Slowly, Peter returned to sitting with a look of utter defeat on his already conflicted face.

“We can just think of it as another Marauders adventure, Wormtail!” said Sirius enthusiastically.

“We can go on plenty of more adventures, that doesn’t mean Hermione has to be a part of it,” Peter turned on Sirius, his eyes starting to glisten.

There was an edge to Peter’s voice that Sirius noticed, and it immediately made him feel bad. It was like that night they played chess back in November all over again. Peter didn’t want to be left out, or in this case, replaced. They should have just told him from the beginning, waiting had been a bad idea.

“Peter…”

“This is your fault!” continued Peter, staring angrily at Sirius. “You never should have told Hermione what we were, or this wouldn’t be happening. Things would still be normal!”

Another wave of guilt hit Sirius like a freight train.

“I mean she probably would have figured it out…” muttered James, mostly to himself. He stared down at his nails, pretending to be distracted as he started to pick at them.

Both Peter and Sirius ignored him.

“Alright, alright…” said Sirius slowly. “If you aren’t for it, then we won’t do it.”

James’s head snapped up.

“But I’ve already told Herm-” James started to say, but Sirius sent him a stern look and he shut his mouth.

Peter looked at Sirius curiously, and the look of fear in his eyes made Sirius feel horrible. With a frown, Sirius stood up and crossed the dormitory to sit beside Peter on his bed.

“This is a Marauders decision, if we don’t all agree – except Remus for obvious reasons – then we don’t do it,” said Sirius simply.

There was a moment of silence before James chimed in.

“That’s right,” said James slowly. “I even told Hermione that this would have to involve all of us.”

Peter seemed to hesitate again as he looked between Sirius and James, probably trying to figure out the catch. But Sirius meant every word, and he was pretty sure James did too.

“Look, Peter,” said Sirius, putting his hand on Peter’s shoulder. “It’s not like she’s going to become a fifth Marauder or anything.”

“Is that what this is about?” asked James softly, looking at Peter sadly.

Peter didn’t meet either of their eyes.

“Peter, come on, mate, you can’t possibly think that would true,” said James. He too crossed the room and sat on the other side of Peter, who was still looking deeply uncomfortable. “It’ll always be Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. We’re the four Marauders!”

“Yeah, it’s not like we’re adding her name to the Map or anything,” said Sirius. “Nothing is going to change the fact that it was us four that spent years creating it… or how we spent countless hours in detentions for being caught out after curfew. We’re the ones that learned how to become animagi together, and nothing is going to change that.”

“Hermione is our friend, – and maybe a bit more for Moony – but we’re only helping her out; not initiating her into the marauders!” said James. “She may be one of us now, but she’s not one of us,” he emphasized the last word and gestured around their dormitory.

“And we’re mostly doing it for Remus. Imagine what it’ll mean to him knowing she did all that to be with him,” said Sirius.

Their words seemed to have some sort of effect on Peter because his eyes softened.

“But she really doesn’t like me,” sulked Peter.

“Then let this be the opportunity for you to show her how great you are!” said James with a grin, and to Sirius’s delight, Peter actually smiled back at him.

“Yeah, I guess so… Alright… And it would be cool to learn a patronus…”

“And she said she would teach us how after she learned how to transform so Remus can be there too,” said Sirius. “No one left out. No Marauder left behind.”

“No Marauder left behind,” said Peter with a small smile.

James grinned and clapped Peter on the back good naturedly. “Then it’s settled!

“Now we just have to steal some mandrake leaves,” said Sirius grinning widely and rubbing his hands together. “Let the adventures begin!”

“Are we going to do it on a night like tonight when Remus is on rounds?” asked Peter hesitantly.

James shook his head. “I don’t think we can. Not enough time. We have to make sure he won’t find out we’ve done it.”

Sirius caught James’s eye and he suddenly realized what he was thinking.

“The full moon,” he said, and James nodded.

“What?” gasped Peter. “You want to leave Remus alone on the full moon?”

“Of course not, Wormtail!” said James quickly. “He always goes to the Hospital Wing a few hours before he transforms. Once he’s there then we go. That’ll give us plenty of time to get there and back and Moony will be none the wiser.”

Peter’s face was flooded with worry.

“Come on, Wormy,” said Sirius, nudging him playfully. “It will be fun!”

“Alright,” Peter agreed with a sigh.

“Brilliant! I’ll tell Hermione,” said Sirius with a grin, standing up.

“You can’t go down there right now, she’s with Mary!” said Peter.

“Oh, good point. Prongs, pass me some parchment.”

James made his way back to his bed and rummaged through his things. He tossed a roll of parchment at Sirius who caught it easily and grabbed his quill from his own bedside table. Quickly, he leaned over and scribbled out a short note that read:

First Move,

Full Moon.

When the ink had dried, he grabbed the parchment and skipped out into the stairwell. He could hear the sound of scattered conversations coming from down below in the Common Room as he began to creep down the stairs.

Once he was far enough down to look over the Common Room, he peered over the railing and spotted both Mary and Hermione sitting together at a table not too far from the fireplace. Lily and Remus weren’t anywhere in sight, so they must have already left for their rounds, which made his job easier.

Gently, Sirius tapped the parchment with his wand and transfigured it into a paper aeroplane and sent it soaring down into the common room.

Sirius had to suppress his laughter as Hermione let out a surprised squeal when the parchment landed in her lap. He saw Mary’s mouth move as she said something to Hermione but he couldn’t hear anything from that distance. Instead, he watched in amusement as Mary frantically looked around in confusion for whoever sent it over to them. Hermione however, seemed to find him immediately.

Her eyes were wide with surprise as she met his eyes and she looked back down at the parchment in her hands. Slowly, she unfolded the aeroplane and Sirius watched the gears in her head click together as the meaning of his message dawned on her.

Looking back up at him, she gave him one quick nod, silently sealing in their plan.

Chapter Text

Chapter 24 - Greenhouse Three

It was sometime after dinner on a Saturday evening. Remus was sitting on the velvety couch in the Room of Requirement with Hermione sitting on the other end. A throw blanket covered her legs, which were curdled up into her body as she snuggled up into the nook of the couch. Her eyes were staring with the utmost concentration on the book resting on top of her knees.

Every now and then she would read something particularly interesting, making her eyebrows rise and her mouth fall open slightly. These small quirks fascinated Remus, making it nearly impossible for him to concentrate on his own book as he frequently stole glances at her. Never would he have ever found just the sight of someone reading in silence to be so intoxicating before.

There was a comfort in the sound of just the crackling fireplace in front of them as well as the occasion page turns from their books. The entire atmosphere of the room just had a relaxing ease to it with just the two of them. It was nice to just sit there with no expectations of filling the silence with mindless chatter, not that chatter ever seemed mindless with Hermione.

Normally being around people just sitting silently would make him feel slightly awkward, but this was different. Remus felt perfectly content to sit there all night long and say absolutely nothing if it meant Hermione were still sitting beside him. He cherished the moments he had alone with her. Moments like those almost distracted him completely from the impending full moon.

There was the urge to just blurt out how he felt whenever he looked at her, but the small voice in the back of his head kept rationalizing that he couldn’t just ruin everything without trying to figure out where she stood first. When they had been walking down that quiet, snow-covered path on the outskirts of Hogsmeade, Remus had come so close to telling her. That was, until Sirius had shown up and ruined it. Maybe it was a sign; it wasn’t as if Hermione had ever given any indication she shared his feelings, and Remus had definitely been looking for any clues that would tell if she felt the same way.

He had felt so dejected, and slightly jealous when Hermione had stayed back from Hogsmeade with James, not that he didn’t trust James. However, Hermione not being interested in Dirk Cresswell… that did make him feel good. And learning Dirk had assumed he and Hermione had been a couple? That had him feeling even better. It made Remus wonder if maybe Dirk had seen something he had missed.

“What are you thinking about?”

Remus looked up and saw Hermione peeking over her book at him with a curious smile on her face.

“What makes you think I’m thinking of anything?” Remus asked teasingly, and Hermione’s smile widened.

“Oh, just that you’re sitting there grinning to yourself and you haven’t turned a page in your book in a while.”

Remus automatically looked down at the book in his lap. He hadn’t even realized he had had the same page open for a good few minutes now. With a playful grin, he looked back up and raised an eyebrow at her. “Have you been spying on me?”

Hermione rolled her eyes at him but continued to smile.

“No, I wasn’t spying on you. I noticed I hadn’t heard the page turn in a while and I got curious,” she said. She softly kicked his leg with her blanket covered foot causing Remus to laugh.

“I didn’t realize. I guess I was just lost in thought.”

“Aha! So I was right!”

“Aren’t you usually?” he said with another laugh.

“Most of the time,” she agreed with a laugh of her own. “So, what were you thinking about?”

“You.”

It had slipped out before he could stop himself from saying it and he could feel his ears begin to burn. It might have just been the lighting from the fireplace in front of them, but he swore a slight blush had formed on Hermione’s face.

“Me?” she asked quietly, tilting her head.

“Just that- that I’m really glad you transferred from Beauxbatons,” he said slowly.

She was quiet for a moment, but the corner of her mouth twitched slightly. “I’m glad you all were here when I arrived.”

That warmth that was all too familiar when Remus was around her made its way through his body again. There was still a small smile on her face as Hermione averted her gaze, but then something seemed to catch her eye and she gave a start.

“Hang on a second, what time is it?” The smile left Hermione’s face as she quickly turned her body to look at the clock ticking away above the door. When she processed the time, she jumped up, her book falling from her knees into her lap.

“What is it?” asked Remus, looking at the clock himself.

“The time!” she said with wide eyes, looking back at him.

“Do you have somewhere to be?” he asked curiously.

“No, but don’t you?” she anxiously questioned. “Aren’t you starting to feel it?”

Ah, the full moon Remus thought regrettably.

Of course she’d be worried about how late it was getting. Yet, the last thing he wanted to do was to leave that room of theirs, but he knew she was right. He had never gone this late to the Hospital Wing before and Madam Pomfrey would start to worry, if she wasn’t already worried about where he was.

“I feel fine,” Remus assured her honestly. There were only slight symptoms starting so far, and they were easy enough to ignore.

Hermione’s lips pursed as she looked at him skeptically.

“Really, I’m perfectly fine,” he repeated. But just as he said it, he felt the familiar pang of pain starting in the back of his head, and he had to force himself not to wince.

So much for ignoring them.

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” Hermione pressed, still seemingly not convinced and looking at him with worry.

“Some days are worse than others,” he answered with a shrug. “There are times where I start feeling the effects the day beforehand. Then there are times where I don’t start to feel it until closer to the full moon.”

“So today is a good day?” Hermione asked with a smile. There was a hopefully innocence in her voice that made Remus’s heart swell with affection.

“Today has been a great day,” he said, smiling warmly back at her.

“Well, then we can make tomorrow even better! But now we need to get you to the Hospital Wing before you transform right here in this room.”

She closed her book with a muted thump and placed it lightly onto the coffee table in front of them. Tossing off her blanket, she stood up with a small hop and then held out her hand towards him.

“Alright, Lupin, time to go.”

Reluctantly, he took her hand and allowed her to pull him to his feet as he rolled his eyes.

“Really, Hermione, I’m not about to transform right here in the room…”

“Well, we definitely wouldn’t want that,” Hermione said as she led him towards the door.

Once they were both out of the Room of Requirement, Hermione dropped his hand as the door behind them dissolved into the wall. Remus’s hand suddenly felt very cold in its absence.

The corridor was dark as the night sky was visbile through the large windows, showing the trees silhouetted across the grounds. There was still no sign of the full moon, which was good, but the scattered stars illuminated the indigo sky when they found gaps between the sparse dark clouds.

They had only rounded one corner when Hermione suddenly reached out and grabbed the front of his robes and dragged Remus towards her. Completely caught off guard, she managed to pull him back around the corner and pressed him against the corridor wall, his back hitting the stone with a soft thud.

A million thoughts went through Remus’s head during those short few seconds – not all of them decent – as he looked down at Hermione with bewilderment. His heart was hammering in his chest for more than one reason.

But Hermione wasn’t looking at him at all. Her arm was extended with her hand still resting on his chest as she stood a short distance away, peering around the corner.

“Hermione, what on earth is going—”

“Shh,” she said quickly.

Feeling confused, as well as slightly disappointed and embarrassed at what his immediate thoughts had been, Remus leaned around the corner to follow her gaze.

At the other end of the corridor was a hunched over Filch, looming in the distance. A sneer was on his face as his baggy, bugged eyes seemed to look around hungerly. They stood too far away from where he lingered, but he appeared to be muttering to himself as he stalked down the corridor.

Hermione’s eyes had gone wide and they slowly followed Filch as he walked. She shuffled slightly closer to Remus and the wall to better conceal herself from the caretaker’s sight.

Remus was suddenly aware of how close they stood together with him squished against the stone wall. Her hand still rested against his chest, and Remus nervously wondered if she could feel how fast his heart was beating against his ribcage. It was beating so hard that he was surprised neither of them were able to hear it.

When Filch disappeared from sight, Hermione turned back to face Remus. It took her a moment before she looked down at his chest and noticed her hand was still resting against him. Her hand dropped quickly as her face flushed a brilliant shade of red. Remus felt his stomach tighten at the sight of it.

There was an awkward silence as Hermione turned to look back down the deserted corridor to make sure Filch was truly gone.

“Um, Hermione… Why are you hiding from Filch?” Remus questioned as soon as Hermione’s body relaxed.

“Remember when I told you about how I ran into him on Valentine’s Day?” she said, turning back to look at him.

Remus did remember that story and how animatedly she had told it to him and he nodded.

“I feel like he’s been following me around for some reason,” said Hermione, slightly biting her lower lip.

“Why would he be doing that?”

“I don’t even know! It would make sense if he saw me coming out of the Room of Requirements or out after curfew or something… but I had just been leaving the library! He apparently had it in his head that I’m up to no good.”

“Are you? Up to no good?” Remus teased, his heart finally beginning to return to a normal pace.

“Well, aren’t I? After all, I am running around near curfew with a werewolf,” she whispered with a mischievous grin.

“That is definitely up to no good,” he responded with a smirk. “Who are you and what have you done with Hermione anyway?”

She laughed and nudged him with her shoulder. “You lot must be rubbing off on me. Maybe I have a taste for adventure now.”

“We’ve created a monster…” Remus said with a grin. “But you have seemed excited all evening. Big adventure plans tonight?”

Hermione tensed slightly at his question and Remus gave her a questioning look.

“What? I was only kidding. Unless were you planning on attracting more trouble tonight?”

He had tried to keep his tone light, but her reaction had interested him.

“The most adventurous thing I could possibly do is have Madam Pince chase me out of the library if I stayed past curfew,” she said with a hurried laugh.

“Well now I’m curious. With all of us gone tonight, what do you plan on doing with yourself?”

“Study,” she said immediately. “But probably not in the library, I already have one member of staff out to get me, I don’t need to add another to that list.”

Remus wasn’t sure he fully believed her, but he decided to drop it anyway. He was still painfully aware of how close together they still were on that corner and he coughed lightly.

“So… should we keep going?” he asked slowly, his heart beginning to beat faster than normal again.

“Oh! Right!”

Hermione let out a small laugh and started walking again, Remus falling into step beside her.

“He tends to do that, you know,” said Remus. “Filch, I mean.”

“Stalk students?” muttered Hermione.

Remus laughed. “Yes, actually. You should have seen him during our third year when James and Sirius discovered Zonko’s after our first Hogsmeade visit. Everywhere we looked, there he was. I’m pretty sure most of the things in his drawers of confiscated things down in his office were from us. Poor man probably smelt like dungbombs that entire second term. The number of detentions we all had…”

“You must have kept him busy,” said Hermione, grinning.

“And we kept the trophy room very clean,” Remus nodded. “I’m sure Filch is glad that most of James and Sirius’s pranks have calmed down this past year. Now he has the chance to follow other students around.”

“Maybe he needs some company. Something to keep him occupied,” said Hermione.

“What, like a girlfriend?” asked Remus, feeling uneasy even thinking about Filch with someone.

“More like a cat,” said Hermione, grinning to herself.

“That poor cat…”

The castle was quiet as they walked. Curfew was nearing, and Remus wondered if Madam Pomfrey would wring him out for being so late. He looked down at his watch and grimaced to himself. She was certainly going to be mad; he was cutting it close to when she normally walked him to the Whomping Willow.

“Since you aren’t missing any class this month, we won’t have missed class notes to go over,” said Hermione as they descended stairs towards the Hospital Wing.

Remus’s heart sank. Did she not want to spend the day with him tomorrow?

“That’s true,” he said, trying to hide his disappointment. “At least I won’t have to explain to anyone where I’ve gone since I’m not missing class.”

These were the transformations he liked the most, when they fell on the weekends and no one had to know he was even gone. Less questions from everyone.

“Well, if you feel as good tomorrow as you are today you probably won’t have to spend all day in the Hospital Wing,” she grinned. “So what did you want to do tomorrow?”

Ah, she did still want to spend time together. Remus immediately felt better.

“I’m not sure. Normally I spend most of the day after in the Hospital Wing so I hadn’t really thought of doing anything else.”

“Okay, but let’s say you are feeling well, and we are able to break you out of Hospital. Then what?”

Remus thought quietly for a moment.

“What about our room?”

Hermione raised an eyebrow at him as they reached the landing leading to the Hospital Wing.

“I was thinking that maybe—”

He cut his statement off when he realized Hermione was no longer beside him as he walked down the corridor.

In confusion, Remus turned and saw Hermione standing near where they entered from the Grand Staircase. Her head was turned to look down the corridor to her left.

Before Remus could ask what she was doing, or begin the walk back towards her, a figure waltzed into view from the direction Hermione was staring.

The sight of Severus Snape momentarily confused Remus. What was Snape doing so far away from the dungeons at this time of night? And why would he be loitering near the Hospital Wing?

Severus turned his greasy head in Remus’s direction and his black eyes went wide. An angry look spread across his face when he noticed Remus before he turned his attention back to Hermione. He began walking towards her as he neared the entrance to the Grand Staircase.

Remus took a step forward, his stomach churning as Severus seemed to deliberately walk directly next to where Hermione stood. When he was beside her, he paused slightly, and to Remus’s bewilderment, it looked like he leaned over to her and whispered something in his ear. When Severus pulled away, Hermione was staring at him with her mouth slightly open.

And then without a word, Severus cast Remus one more look over his shoulder before leaving towards the Grand Staircase.

Hermione’s face was unreadable as she stood frozen on the landing.

“Hermione…?” Remus questioned as Hermione slowing walked back up to him, looking as white as a ghost.

“Oh for Merlin’s sake… Is everyone following me tonight?” she muttered angrily to herself. There was still a look of worry upon her white face but slowly annoyance seemed to be taking over. When she reached him she didn’t stop but instead kept walking in the direction of the Hospital Wing.

“What was that?” exasperated Remus, staring at her wide-eyed expression as he hurried to walk beside her.

Had he imagined that Severus whispered something to her as he passed? What could he have possibly said? And why had it annoyed Hermione so much?

“It was nothing, everything’s fine,” Hermione said quickly.

“What is going on?” asked Remus, suddenly worried why both Filch and Severus were creeping around waiting for her.

“Severus has apparently also made it his missed to annoy me to death tonight,” she grumbled, shaking her head.

“Did he say something to you?”

Hermione didn’t meet his gaze and so Remus took that as a yes.

“What did he say?” he insisted, feeling the pain in the back of his head increase as his resentment towards Severus began to form. What was Snape playing at hanging around the Hospital Wing the night of a full moon? And then trying to upset Hermione?

“He wanted to remind me of something he had told me a little while back during class once.”

That wasn’t what Remus had expected to hear at all, and confusion overtook his budding anger.

“Which would be what?” asked Remus feeling utterly perplexed.

“Um- I’ll tell you tomorrow,” she said shortly, avoiding the question.

“Alright…”

“Okay, so what were you thinking?” asked Hermione, changing the subject.

“What?” Remus said in confusion.

“You were about to say something about the room before…”

“Oh, right,” Remus said, shaking his head quickly, trying to think back to before he was distracted. It took him a moment to remember what he had been about to say. “Well, we do spend a lot of time there so I was thinking maybe we could do some redecorating.”

“Redecorating?” she asked curiously, raising an eyebrow. He must have caught her full attention again because her annoyance at Severus appeared to have completely vanished.

“You know, maybe change up the room a bit, make it more personalized for both us? Add some more comfort to it?”

A smile on Hermione face slowly grew as she thought about it.

“Yes, alright,” she grinned. “That’s a brilliant idea. And it’s only fair you get to bring a piece of yourself to the room too. I’m curious to see the things that bring you comfort.”

You he thought with a smile, but he bit his tongue.

Truth be told, he wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted to do with the room yet, other than make it something they created together. The idea had suddenly popped into his head and as soon as he said it out loud it felt right. They could turn it into a piece of both of them.

Hermione paused awkwardly when they reached the double doors that lead to the Hospital Wing, her hand lingering near the handle. She looked up at him and smiled bittersweetly, knowing it was a goodbye for the night as she couldn’t go in with him.

“I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to say,” said Hermione. “Do I wish you a good transformation? Tell you to have a good time?”

She looked so troubled that Remus let out a laugh strong enough that he could feel it in his stomach.

“There isn’t really any proper etiquette for situations like this, is there?” he laughed.

Her lip twitched. “I suppose not. But I do hope it’s an easy one for you.”

“Me too, then we’ll have more time together tomorrow once you break me out of here.”

This earned him a chuckle.

“So, there’s no proper parting words?”

“You could just tell me to have a good night,” he grinned.

“Well, have a good night then, Remus!” she said with a smile.

Then she did something she had never done before; she reached up onto her toes and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. “I’ll come see you in the morning. And then we have a room to redecorate!”

With a small wave, she walked down the corridor and Remus watched, frozen in place, until she disappeared from sight. While nothing had seemed particularly romantic about her action, the butterflies in his stomach still began darting around excitedly as the spot on his cheek burned warmly. He couldn’t help the stupid grin that spread across his face as he pushed open the door to the Hospital Wing, completely oblivious to the headache that had just been pounding in his head.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

“Where have you been?” demanded James as soon as Hermione walked into the boys’ dormitory.

“With Remus… Wasn’t the plan to wait until he went to the Hospital Wing?” asked Hermione in confusion as she shut the door behind her.

“Wait, he just went now?” asked Sirius with knitted brows.

“Yes, I just walked him there myself…” she said slowly, looking around at them. “Is there a problem?”

“He just usually goes much earlier in the day because the effects get to be too much,” explained James.

Hermione shrugged. “He seemed pretty alright actually. Just a bit tired but in pretty good spirits.”

The three boys exchanged a look with each other.

“What?” she asked, frowning at them. “You say that as if it’s a bad thing. Maybe it’ll be a decent transformation this time.”

After Hermione said that she could only hope that would be true. She wasn’t sure if there was any correlation between his side effects as a human with how hard the transformations were for him. There weren’t many studies on that subject, so she could only pray how he would feel tonight would reflect how he had felt all day and be easier. Well, as easy as a werewolf transformation could be.

“Yes, yes, let’s all hope Moony has a good time tonight… But now on to more important things,” said Sirius sarcastically and Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.

“Sirius is right,” said James. “We need to get those leaves and fast. We lost a lot of time with him going to the Hospital Wing so late.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” said Hermione, clapping her hands together which earned her a smirk from James.

James quickly made his way to his trunk and began digging through it as Hermione watched on curiously.

“Oh,” said Hermione suddenly. “By the way, Severus suspects I know about Remus and I think he’s been watching me.”

“What? How?” said Sirius, and James stopped digging for a moment to turn and stare at her. Peter was also looking at her curiously.

“After class once we were talking and he dropped hints about you all being dangerous. Then he just saw me in the corridor outside of the Hospital Wing. You should have seen the look he gave us.”

“What on earth could you have been talking to Snivellus about?” demanded Sirius.

“Does it really matter?” said Hermione, crossing her arms.

As much as teenage Snape made her nervous, she was going to keep her word to him. There was no reason the boys needed to know about his feelings for Lily, it could only lead to more trouble.

But seeing him just now near the Hospital Wing had her slightly rattled. “I tried to warn you. You don’t know what you’re dealing with,” was what he had whispered at her, so low that she had barely heard him. At first she thought she had imagined it until her brain finally processed what had happened.

“No, it doesn’t matter,” said James, returning to his trunk. “We can deal with Snape later, we don’t have time. Aha!-” James stood up and triumphantly held in front of him a square of parchment and long silvery fabric. The Marauder’s Map and the Invisibility Cloak.

Hermione wanted to rush over and grab both of them; to feel the silky fabric of the cloak that brought back so many memories, but she had to control herself.

“What are those?” she asked instead, feigning confusion.

“On any other occasion I’d love to show these off and brag about them but we don’t have time,” said James quickly. “Long story short, this is a map of Hogwarts and everyone in it,” he held up the blank Map and then held up the cloak, “and this is an invisibility cloak.”

James quickly rested the cloak over his shoulder before tapping his wand to the map. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good!”

The map slowly formed in his hands and James looked at her keenly, waiting for a reaction.

“That’s amazing,” she breathed, hoping she sounded in awe of what she had just seen.

James grinned humbly at her before turning to look at Peter.

Hermione was acutely aware of Peter’s silence and she eyed him carefully. He didn’t seem to want to meet her eye and Hermione had a sneaking suspicion that he wasn’t very fond of their little adventure plans or their secrets being shared with her. She should have felt bad about a potential rift between the boys, but selfishly she didn’t really care.

“Peter, hand me your wand,” said James, holding out his hand to him.

Without missing a beat, Peter handed over his wand to James who tucked it inside his cloak for safekeeping.

“Why do you need his wand?” Hermione asked James.

“It doesn’t transform with us, so we need to be wary of where we put it,” answered James.

When Hermione turned back to look at Peter she jumped slightly when he wasn’t there anymore. She dropped her gaze and saw a small grey rat sitting on Peter’s bed.

It was impossible to look at him and not see Scabbers, although this current rat did not look as worse for wear. It was odd seeing him with all of his toes and not look as sickly as he had when she had last seen him. That was before he was revealed to be a traitor.

“Brilliant, isn’t it?” said Sirius with a smirk and Hermione had to force a smile on her face.

James shook out the cloak and held it open between his hands.

“It’ll be a tight fit,” said James biting his lip as he held up his invisibility cloak. “Come get closer, you two.”

Hermione walked over to stand beside James and Sirius came over to her other side, sandwiching her between the two boys. James held out his hand for Peter who seemed to know the drill because he immediately began climbing up James’s sleeve before coming to rest comfortably on his shoulder.

In one fluid movement, James wrapped the cloak around them. Hermione felt the soft material cover her head and both James and Sirius instinctively moved in closer so they could all fit.

Just as James had predicted, it was very snug with the three of them under the cloak. Hermione knew that even her, Harry, and Ron could not fit comfortably under the cloak anymore and that their feet would definitely show. James was roughly the same height as Hermione remembered Harry being, and luckily for them, Sirius was slightly shorter than Ron had been, which gave them a little more room to work with. It seemed to work though, as they were all barely covered by the cloak. But Hermione was almost positive that once they started walking, their feet would most definitely show.

“It’ll be dark. Our feet will most likely show when we walk but I doubt anyone would notice…” she said, airing her thoughts out loud.

There was no room to comfortably turn to look at either James or Sirius, but she felt James nod to her left.

“And I’ll keep a lookout with the map,” he said.

“Alright, let’s do this!” said Sirius, clapping his hands together. The cloak shifted with the movement and James struggled to right it. “Sorry!”

“You ready, Wormtail?” said James to his shoulder and Peter responded with a squeak.

Hermione had definitely been right. As soon as they started walking through the castle, they automatically separated from each other due to it being impossible to walk so closely side-by-side. Surely enough, their shoes were peeking out from beneath the cloak. James seemed to be strongly aware of this fact and his eyes barely left the map, constantly making sure the coast was clear and no one would see them.

The grounds were still and quiet as they made their way outside. The weather had been starting to warm up slightly but there was still a crispness to the March air. Luckily the cloak protected their exposed faces from the chilly breeze.

No one dared to cast a light outside of the cloak in fear they’d be spotted. Instead, they relied on the soft light of the stars to keep them from stumbling completely blindly. Not that it kept them from stumbling completely. The moon was starting to make an appearance in the dark sky which was both a blessing and a curse as it began to shine its own light. They would have to hurry.

They were somehow able to make it to the Herbology greenhouses without incident. The entire thing seemed almost too easy, which was never a good sign.

“The mandrakes are kept in greenhouse three,” said James as the four of them continued up the path towards the greenhouses.

They were now safety out of view of the castle and Hermione began to relax slightly, knowing that even if their feet were exposed, no one would be able to see them.

When they approached the door to greenhouse three, James ripped the cloak off but kept the map out in front of him. With his free hand, he picked up Peter from his shoulder and placed him in the grass. Moments later, a slightly disheveled human Peter stood up, wiping down the crinkles in his robes. James’s quickly reached into his own robes and handed Peter back his wand.

“Lumos,” Hermione said, illuminating her wand now that no one would be able to see them, and she turned her attention to the door.

On the greenhouse door in front of them was a large brass padlock. Hermione glanced up and down the row to see if there was maybe an open window or some other way inside that wouldn’t involve breaking and entering, but it seemed the only way in was the main door.

“Alohomora!” said Sirius, moving towards the door and pointing his wand at the lock before Hermione could try the lock herself. He gave the door a push but with no luck and he frowned down at it, the large lock having not moved at all.

“Let me try,” said Hermione, stepping up and redirecting her wand at the lock. “Alohomora!”

Nothing.

Hermione pursed her lips as Sirius snickered beside her.

“It must be enchanted so that won’t work,” mused James.

“Sprout must have caught on after the last time we broke in,” said Peter nervously.

James turned to look at Sirius. “Did you bring your knife?”

The penknife Sirius gave to Harry… Hermione thought suddenly, and she turned to look at Sirius, waiting for him to take out the knife that she knew could unlock any lock.

With a grin, Sirius pulled out the penknife and flicked it up in front of him.

“Oh, you’re learning so many of our secrets tonight, Hermione,” laughed Sirius as he stuck the blade into the hole in the large padlock. “And you still don’t even know about the mirror!”

Peter grumbled in annoyance at Sirius casually blurting out their secrets and Sirius continued to laugh. Carefully, he began moving the knife blade up and down until there was a soft click and the top of the padlock popped off.

“Well, after you,” grinned Sirius to Hermione, gesturing towards the door as he tucked his knife away.

“Do not disturb the pots. A mandrake’s cry is fatal!” murmured Hermione under her breath as she slowly pushed open the door to the greenhouse.

Once inside, she was immediately greeted with the familiar scent of dirt and earth. Inside were a mix of exotic magical plants, but Hermione’s eyes quickly fell onto the familiar mandrakes and her stomach gave a nervous flip.

“Only if they’re full grown,” said James back in a whisper. He raised his wand, which he had now lit as well, and looked around at the terracotta pots that littered the rundown wooden tables around the room. “Look, these are adolescent still.”

James was right. Hermione squinted at the sleeping mandrakes and saw they were still small in size. No longer babies, but not quite adult either. Many of the ones near her had acne spots across their wrinkly faces.

“Will their leaves still work?” asked Hermione in a low whisper. She thought back to how the mandrakes had to be full grown for the mandrake restorative draught to work during her second year. However, the potion needed a whole mandrake to be stewed so she wondered if the leaves would be any different.

“It did last time,” responded James with a shrug. “I don’t think they were much older than this.”

“I’d still rather not get knocked out,” whispered Sirius, crouching low with his eyes at the same height as the tables’ as he began making his way forward.

“Sirius, where are you going?” hissed Hermione, who still stood by the door with James and Peter.

“Getting you your leaves!”

Sirius silently stole towards a secluded corner of the greenhouse where the least number of mandrakes were sleeping with soft snores. Other odd plants surrounded him, some with moving vines that looked more like tentacles and others that had spikes covering their entire being and Hermione watched on anxiously.

The fool didn’t even have on earmuffs, Hermione realized, but Sirius was too far away to yell that to him. Hermione feared that if she did then she’d wake all of the mandrakes and they’d all be caught the next morning by Professor Sprout, passed out in her greenhouse.

Sirius’s wand was out in front of him and Hermione watched as he pointed it at the most secluded mandrake. She could see his mouth move slightly as he tapped his wand but no light appeared from its tip and Hermione wondered what he had done. Seemingly pleased with whatever it was he did, Sirius pulled his knife back out and began quickly cutting off leaves from the mandrake.

The mandrake awoke with a start. It’s crinkled eyes and mouth flew open in a scream and Sirius hopped back in surprise. Hermione flinched at the sudden movements and quickly grabbed onto James, digging her fingers into his arm which made him wince in pain.

But something was wrong. While the mandrake seemed to be screaming and crying, no sound was coming from it at all.

Sirius was beaming brilliantly as he hurried back towards them and they all quickly shuffled out of the greenhouse before more mandrakes could wake up.

“How did you do that?” gasped Hermione as James massaged his arm once they were back outside.

“Silencing charm,” said Sirius, looking quite proud of himself.

“How did you know that would work?” Hermione demanded.

“I didn’t,” grinned Sirius.

“What? You could have been killed! Or knocked out!” lectured Hermione. “How did you do it last time?”

“Nicked earmuffs too,” said Sirius with a shrug. “Thought I’d give this a try this time. Anyway, here-”

Sirius walked up to her and held out his hand, tilting the contents of it into her own.

With the mandrake leaves in her hand, everything suddenly felt so real. Hermione felt almost giddy with excitement. She reached into her cloak and pulled out a small pouch that she had brought with her and gently slid the leaves in before tucking the pouch back away.

“Step one complete!” she said happily.

“Brilliant… but we need to get out of here. Now,” said James, looking down at his watch. “Moony will be headed out any minute now and we need to get you back to the common room.”

He gave Peter an expecting look and then Peter was suddenly shrinking back down into a rat. Once he was fully transformed, James picked him and his wand up and all four of them got back into the same position they had earlier.

“It’s remarkable, don’t you think?” started Hermione excitedly as they made their way away from the greenhouses and back towards the castle under the cloak. “That mandrake – or mandragora – are normally used to return people who have been transfigured or cursed… but here we are, using it to transform! It’s fascinating! I wonder if there’s a way to use it to force someone in animagus form to transfigure back into a human-”

“Hermione,” interrupted Sirius sounded irritated. “We’re trying to have an adventure here, not a Herbology lesson…”

Offended, Hermione scoffed at him. “Really, Sirius, it’s not just Herbology. This involves both Transfigurations and Potions as well… It’s really a fascinating combination of multiple branches of magic—”

Suddenly, James stopped and both Hermione and Sirius nearly yanked off the cloak as they tried to stop beside him.

“What the-” Sirius had started to say but he was cut off by James.

“Someone’s getting closer,” James said in surprise, holding out the map.

Hermione and Sirius both leaned over to get a closer look. On the map, headed towards where the four of them were, was a black dot.

Snape.

James swore.

“What the hell is that slimy bastard doing out here? Hasn’t he learned better by now? Clearly didn’t learn his lesson!” hissed Sirius, grabbing the map out of James’s hands and eyeing Snape’s approaching dot.

Hermione’s head snapped to look at the shadow covered face of Sirius from under the cloak. None of the boys had ever mentioned what had happened with Snape – or how he knew about Remus’s condition. Of course she knew the gist of it from the little Snape, Sirius, and Remus had told her, Harry, and Ron in the shrieking shack during her third year, but she had so many questions about what really had happened. Sirius looked guilty when he saw Hermione’s expression and realized what he was implying, leaving her to imagine that it must have been bad.

“He’ll see our feet,” whispered James with a horrified realization.

He leaned around Hermione and smacked the shoulder of Sirius. Hermione nearly lost her balance at the motion and steadied herself on Sirius, who groaned at her weight. But he seemed to know what James was wordlessly getting at because, after he righted Hermione, he shoved the map at her.

There was no time for Hermione to react as Sirius slowly grew shorter, darker, and furrier until suddenly he was a full on shaggy black dog right beside her. His wand fell into the grass with a small bounce.

Hermione let out a small yelp in surprise at the large black dog. Within seconds, James’s arm went around her and he stuck his hand out over her mouth. Along with his quick movement, Peter slipped off of his shoulder with a squeak and his little rat arms flailed until he managed to cling on to the front of James’s winter cloak.

James’s hazel eyes were wide as he mimed a “shh” with the index finger of his free hand. The black dog curled up around James’s and Hermione’s feet so the cloak would completely cover them all, his ears stuck up on alert. Regaining her composure, Hermione quickly nodded to James and he released her.

According to the map, Snape had gotten too close for comfort, but he thankfully must not have heard her yelp because his dot slowly began to walk further away.

It didn’t seem like Snape was headed towards the Whomping Willow, instead it looked like he was pacing on the grounds. Almost as if he were patrolling near the doors of the castle, or maybe looking for something. It was so odd, even for Snape.

Nerves ran through Hermione’s body as she wondered if it anything to do with their encounter in the corridor earlier. She was pretty sure he had realized she knew Remus’s secret. Was he looking for her for some reason? She wondered if he had truly just been trying to warn her all along like he had after that Potions lesson from last month. But it made no sense. He made no sense.

The dot continued to move around the grounds near the front of the castle, and Hermione was squinting up the hill in anticipation of him coming into view.

After a few minutes, he did.

It was too dark and he was too far away to fully make out what his expression was, and it killed Hermione not to know what his intentions were. In the darkness of the night he appeared to just be a moving shadow. If she hadn’t been holding the map and knew he was close, she never would have noticed he was there. It was probably what he had been counting on.

And then Snape turned around and was gone.

They waited there for what felt like an eternity, but it must not have been even more than a minute since he had left. When it appeared that Snape wasn’t headed towards them anymore, James let out a breath.

Gently, James lifted Peter up and set him back on his shoulder, giving him a quick pat on the back. It was probably meant to soothe him, because his little rat body was trembling from the shock of his fall. Peter’s inability to talk this entire time made Hermione realize she greatly preferred him in rat form.

James gently took the map back from Hermione and the two of them looked down at it.

“There’s someone else, look – ha!” he barked out a laugh and quickly covered his own mouth.

Hermione peered over at the Map and saw James pointing to where Snape’s dot had collided with another.

“Caught by Filch!” laughed James under his breath with glee.

Snape’s dot came to a halt as Filch’s dot came speeding towards him. Hermione could imagine Filch doing his signature run hobble towards Snape, like he always did when he’d get excited to punish someone. She almost allowed herself to smile at the thought, but she was too nervous thinking about being caught herself.

Hermione was aware of both Peter the rat and Sirius in dog form staring at her holding the map, waiting for her to announce what was happening, but she and James remained silent as they watched Filch’s dot stop by Snape’s. And then the two slowly headed back in the castle.

That was now the second time that day she had come way to close to Filch and Snape, and Hermione’s heart was beating rapidly. Yet, it was almost poetic how they ended up meeting each other. Two birds with one stone.

“Serves him right,” laughed James in both relief and humor. “This night couldn’t have gone any better!”

“Okay, we should go before Filch comes back,” said Hermione quickly and James nodded in agreement.

“We aren’t going to be able to walk back with you at our feet, mate,” said James, looking down at Sirius who stared up at James with what could only be described as ‘puppy dog eyes’. “Oh don’t look at us like that, Pads. You can come back under the cloak once we’re back at the castle.”

Sirius’s ears dropped and he whimpered sadly before picking up his wand in his mouth and scurrying out from under the cloak. He was barely visible on the dark grass as Hermione watched him run back towards the castle entrance.

James and Hermione spent the rest of the walk up the hill in silence, with James keeping a careful eye on the Map, making sure no one else came near and that Filch never came back. It wasn’t until they were near the castle walls and met back up with Sirius that James stopped again.

“Ah, here comes Remus,” groaned James. “We’re really running late.”

Sirius the dog darted quickly back under the cloak and curled up again. Hermione held her breath as she saw Remus walk only a short distance away from where they stood under the cloak. She had a much clearer view of Remus than she had had of Snape and her heart tugged at the sight of him. Gone were the smiles and laughter from earlier that evening, and instead his face was wrinkled with worry and misery.

The way he walked was sniff, as if he were in pain and Madam Pomfrey was guiding him with a comforting hand on his shoulder. His eyes looked hollow as he stared down at the dark grass as he walked; his right hand massaging his temples.

Hermione had never seen him so close to a transformation, not counting the time she had seen him transform in her own time. That had taken her by such surprise. It had happened too quickly for her to fully understanded what had been happening. But seeing him like this and knowing what he had to go through… so young and innocent, making his way to that beaten up old shack looking so sickly… hurt her. It wasn’t fair.

After Remus and Madam Pomfrey disappeared from sight, they all waited as they watched their dots safely disappear from the map as well after entered the secret passage beneath the Whomping Willow.

James pulled the cloak off of all of them and Hermione breathed in the fresh night air, not having realized how much she had needed it to calm herself down.

Sirius the dog rubbed up against Hermione’s leg, wagging his tail.

Not really knowing how to respond to that, Hermione awkwardly reached down and gave his head a good-natured pat. It was the most bizarre feeling; petting a dog and knowing it was one of her friends. When she started to pull her hand away, he gave it a quick lick.

“Ew! Sirius!” groaned Hermione, quickly wiping her hand on her cloak. “Don’t do that! That’s disgusting!”

Sirius barked a noise that sounded close to what she’s imagine a dog laughing would sound like. This was exactly why Hermione preferred cats.

“Sirius, take Hermione and the cloak back up to Gryffindor Tower and then run back down here. It’ll be faster than all of us trying to get there and then back,” interjected James, handing the cloak off to Sirius. “Peter and I will stay hidden until Madam Pomfrey goes back into the castle and then we’ll join Remus.”

The great black dog barked once and then began to grow in size until Sirius stood in front of them, looking quite windswept. He reached down into the grass to grab his wand and wiped it on his trousers a few times while grinned at Hermione’s amazed expression.

“Dog slobber,” he said, as Hermione watched him clean off his wand.

Hermione glowered at him with disgust.

“Why can’t I just go back without him?” said Hermione, eyeing Sirius with revulsion. The last thing she wanted in that moment was to be under the invisibility cloak with him.

“Because you’ll most likely get caught without the cloak, especially with Filch lurking about,” answered James. “And we can’t just give it to you because we’ll need it to sneak back in the castle after the transformation. I’d take you up myself but we’re short on time and he can run back here as a dog without being seen.”

Hermione sighed. It annoyed her that she hadn’t thought about that. There was no other way than what James had suggested. “I hate it when you’re right.”

“Don’t forget,” started James, looking at Hermione with a faint smile. “You need to start the leaf tonight. It goes for the full moon cycle.”

She nodded back to him and tapped the lump in her cloak pocket where the leaves were hidden. “I won’t forget.”

“Alright, we’ll see you tomorrow. And we’ll see you soon, Sirius. Hurry.”

The walk back through the castle with Sirius under the cloak was a quick one. Sirius seemed antsy to get back down to the grounds and join the rest of his friends in the Shrieking Shack.

It was past curfew when they arrived back at Gryffindor Tower and there were still a handful of students hanging about, so Sirius carefully led her through the room and up into his dormitory. Hermione held her breath the entire time they avoided making their presence known to any of their housemates. Once inside the dormitory, Sirius ripped off the invisibility cloak and met Hermione’s eyes with a brilliant grin.

“How’d you like our little adventure?” he asked, beaming at her as he straightened out the cloak.

Hermione, who could breathe again finally knowing that they had managed to pull that off without getting caught, grinned back at him.

“Honestly?” she breathed. “It was exhilarating.”

And it had been. Sneaking around on an adventure when she shouldn’t have been was just the rush she needed to stay focused and motivated on the tasks to come. It reminded her of those same feelings from the good old days of adventures during her own time.

Sirius looked like a proud dad as he nodded approvingly at her.

“But never lick me again,” Hermione added, frowning back at him.

Sirius laughed. “Okay, but only if you do me a favor.”

“That depends…”

“Can you go easier on Peter?” he said softly. “I know you don’t like him for whatever reason, but he’s going to be helping you with us as well. Can you at least try to get along better? He’s been stressing out over it.”

Hermione grimaced. Obviously she had not done a very good job of hiding her distaste for Peter, even though she had told herself she’d try. The last thing she wanted was to have to get along with the rat or to make him feel better in any way, but what choice did she have?

“I’ll… do my best…” she muttered, and it pained her to say each of those four words.

“He’s really a good guy.”

Hermione would have laughed at that statement if it didn’t also fill her with so much anger knowing that no, Peter was certainly not a good guy and there was nothing on the planet that could make her ever like him. But instead, she gave Sirius a surrendering nod. She was going to be on her best behavior.

“Brilliant,” said Sirius with a grin as he headed towards the door, spreading out the invisibility cloak as he walked.

He stopped short as he reached for the handle and then he whipped around.

“Oh, don’t forget! You have to do the leaf!” he said, taking a step back towards her.

“Now?” said Hermione with surprise.

“Full moon to full moon, Hermione!”

Groaning internally, Hermione took the small pouch she had put her mandrake leaves in out of her inner cloak pocket. Inside were about half a dozen mandrake leaves, and before then she hadn’t had a chance to fully examine them. They looked wrinkly, and the greenish brown color of them was off putting. She pulled one out of the bag and felt how brittle it was, and then lifted it up to sniff it. It was a poor decision because she immediately cringed away from the smell.

“Do they taste as badly as they look and smell?” she asked, crinkling her nose.

“Oh, don’t be a baby. Just do it.”

With a deep breath, Hermione placed a single leaf in her mouth. It had barely gotten past her lips and touched her tongue before she was gagging and spit it out into her hands. It was one of the most disgusting tastes she had ever experienced. Far worse than any Bertie Bott bean she had ever encountered.

“Gross,” said Sirius. He was staring at the leaf she had just spit out but he was also trying his hardest not to laugh.

“It’s not funny!” she snapped. “It doesn’t matter how horrible it tastes! I have to be able to do it…”

“Well, go on then!”

Glaring at him, Hermione quickly placed the leaf back into her mouth, trying to get it over with. She was immediately met with that taste of dirty grass, dirt, and what she could only imagine sewage would taste like. It took all of her strength not to gag again.

Hermione rolled her tongue carefully to reposition the leaf, concentrating hard not to displace it, or worse, swallow it. Once it was under her tongue the taste wasn’t so bad, but there was still a horrid bitter aftertaste sitting in the back of her throat and she couldn’t help but grimace. Sirius laughed at her expression.

“You get used to it,” he said, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

“When?” she muttered, hearing the impairment in her own voice as she focused to keep her tongue pressed down.

His grin widened. “Okay no, I lied. It sucks the whole time. Just don’t swallow it because you’ll have to start over next month. Don’t want to prolong the process now, do we?”

Hermione shook her head, too afraid to speak and displace the leaf, and Sirius laughed again.

“We’ll see you in the morning for breakfast, then we can head to visit Moony,” said Sirius. “Gotta run!”

He gave her a wink and wrapped the cloak around himself until he completely disappeared from sight.

After the door to the boys’ dormitory opened and closed, Hermione went to sit by the window and she looked out onto the dark grounds, turning over the small pouch of extra mandrake leaves in the palm of her hand.

The full moon was now fully up in the sky and casting the dark earth below in rich, illuminating light. Everything looked so beautiful and still, and Hermione wished she could be out there with the rest of them. At least she was one step closer.

Hermione stayed for bit, relishing in the solitude of the empty boys’ dormitory, just staring out into the night. She couldn’t be sure, but she swore she could see a black shadow bounding down the grounds with a long shimmering material flowing beside it.

Chapter Text

Chapter 25 - The Tale of the Serpent and the Wolf

Remus woke up feeling disoriented. It took him a moment to put together that he was back in hospital, he hadn’t even remembered Madam Pomfrey coming to retrieve him from the shack.

The dark ceiling loomed over him as he stared up at it, feeling the familiar ache of his limbs. He tried to sit up and raise his arms, hoping to stretch out the soreness, but instead pain shot through his entire body and he couldn’t help but cry out. Every muscle felt like it was on fire as his body tried to heal itself from his transformation. Weakness overtook him and Remus fell back into the mattress, groaning in defeat.

The curtain that was dawn around his bed in the Hospital Wing was pulled aside, and Madam Pomfrey wore a concerned look on her face.

“How are you feeling, dear?” she asked as she walked over to him.

She was holding the familiar blue potion she’d give him every morning following a transformation. Unfortunately, it could only help with the aching, not heal any damage he would have inflicted on himself.

“Sore,” he muttered, his throat aching making his voice crack. “But not too bad.”

Madam Pomfrey nodded understandingly and handed him the potion.

“I gave you a quick look over when I first collected you from the shack and it seems you spared yourself this time. Luckily there are no self-inflicted scratches or bites, so the potion should help quite a bit. But it is still very early, you only arrived back less than an hour ago.”

Less than an hour ago? That explained why he was still in so much discomfort. Remus forced himself to sit up, trying not to spill the potion as more pain followed each movement. His eyes traveled around Madam Pomfrey who was standing near the now open curtain. The windows behind her showed the dark sky where the sun had only begun to peak over the horizon, and the torches around the room were only dimly lit, casting everything in shadows. Squinting through the dark Hospital Wing, he tried to get a look at the time, but the clock that hung by her office was still blocked from view by the curtains.

With a sigh, Remus drank the potion in one solid gulp, shuddering at the bitter taste he never got used to, and handed the phial back to Madam Pomfrey as he waited for it to start to take effect.

“You should get some more rest before morning fully breaks, you must still be exhausted,” said Madam Pomfrey as she pocketed the phial in her matron’s apron.

“Completely knackered,” he mumbled and Madam Pomfrey smiled wearily at him.

“That, I can get you something for.”

She exited the curtain and moments later returned with another phial of a dark purple potion in her hand.

“Sleeping draught,” she said as she handed him the potion. “There was no noticeable physical damage so what you really need right now is more rest. You should be feeling a bit better when you wake up.”

Remus couldn’t argue with that logic. As soon as the potion passed his lips, his body began to feel light. It seemed to work much quicker than the potion meant to rid him of his bodily pain brought on by the transformation. Barely aware of Madam Pomfrey plucking the empty phial from his hand and disappearing again behind the curtain, the room around him slowly faded out to black.

~o~

It wasn’t until about 10am that his friends all waltzed into the Hospital Wing, waking him up from his deep sleep. Once Madam Pomfrey saw he was awake, she hurried off to find him some breakfast.

Remus’s body was still somewhat sore, there was no way to ever avoid that or cure it entirely, but he knew everything could have been much worse. The blue potion had kicked in and he could move around in his hospital bed without feeling like he was being ripped apart again. Compared to many of his previous transformations, he actually felt relatively normal. As normal as he could. It was always good when he didn’t end up tearing himself apart during a transformation. Now he only just felt very weak.

His four friends pulled up chairs around his bed inside the curtain, so he was still blocked from view from the rest of the Hospital Wing in case others had to come in. His heart swelled at the sight of them as a wave of affection washed over him as he looked at the four people he cared most for in the entire world.

It felt even better when a grinning Hermione handed him an assortment of small breakfast pastries wrapped neatly in a serviette that she had smuggled from the Great Hall. The sweet scent of her morning tea lingered faintly on her robes and that combined with the smell of the pastries immediately made him perk up. He took the serviette eagerly, famished from the full moon.

Madam Pomfrey was not very pleased when she returned with his actual breakfast and noticed him covered in scone and muffin crumbs. After she set down his tray of eggs, sausage, beans, and toast, she vanished the crumbs and quickly retreated to her office, muttering something about no respect for keeping the Hospital Wing clean. As soon as Madam Pomfrey was out of sight, James used a silencing charm on the curtains around Remus’s bedside so they could all talk freely without being overheard.

Remus was in particularly good spirits as he ate, watching James and Sirius in amusement. They seemed to be trying their hardest to make him feel better like they normally would following a transformation. They may have been overdoing it this time, though. Between recounting the essentially tame night in the shack to Hermione, who politely and silently listened on, to magically shooting bits of leftover pastries across the bed at each other, Remus couldn’t keep the smile off of his face.

But the longer he watched, the more something started to feel off.

James and Sirius had begun cracking some foul jokes, which was not off par for them, but what was strange was Hermione sitting idly by and not lecturing them for it. In fact, she had barely said anything at all while allowing James and Sirius to dominate the somewhat vulgar conversation, which was very unlike her.

Peter was also very quiet. Instead of laughing and encouraging the two idiots that were James and Sirius like he usually did, he was sitting silently, looking almost like he was bothered by something.

“Okay, you’ve all been acting strange all morning. Someone just spit it out,” said Remus after he finished eating.

Silence fell over the group as James and Sirius stopped their shenanigans. Remus could tell they were trying to hide it, but he was still able to notice his four friends begin to glance around at each other.

“Spit what out?” asked James

“What makes you say that?” asked Sirius at the same time.

Remus fought the urge to roll his eyes.

“Well, something must be going on. You two are doing your usual ‘talk nonsense so no one changes the subject’ thing when there’s something you’re not sharing,” Remus said pointing to James and Sirius. “Peter seems like he’s sulking for some reason. Not to mention that last night you all were late, especially you, Sirius. And Hermione was acting strange last night when she dropped me off here and has barely saying anything all morning…”

“Strange?” asked Hermione in a small voice.

Remus nodded. “Secretive, like you didn’t want to tell me what you actually planned on doing or why you seemed so nervous.”

Remus watched as Sirius sent an annoyed look at Hermione and she had the decency to look guilty, although he could tell she was trying her best to keep her expression neutral. Peter stared wide-eyed at him, flushed slightly as if he had just been caught doing something embarrassing.

“So, what happened last night?” asked Remus when no one said anything.

“Nothing,” said Hermione quickly. “I studied just like I told you I planned on doing.”

Not only did Remus have trouble believing that, but something sounded off about her voice and he tilted his head at her. It sounded as though she were trying to speak with something sticky in her mouth.

“Why do you sound like that?”

“What?” she said, her eyebrows going up.

“Your voice sounds funny.”

“Oh! I, er- burnt the top of my mouth. My tea was too hot…” she said, her face slightly pink as she mumbled through her words.

“Yeah, you should have seen her, mate. She was way too eager to drink that tea at breakfast,” quickly added in Sirius, giving Hermione an odd look.

Remus just stared at them in bewilderment.

“You… burnt the top of your mouth… on tea…”

Hermione nodded energetically. Remus was about to say something else when James began to speak.

“Okay, I guess you caught us,” he said quickly, adding in a dramatic sigh for effect.

Hermione, Sirius, and Peter all stared at him with matching expressions of horror and Remus raised an eyebrow.

“James…” murmured Hermione nervously.

“We were getting supplies for your birthday,” said James nonchalantly. “And now you’ve ruined the surprise.”

“For my birthday…” repeated Remus, not convinced.

“Yeah, you know that thing where on the anniversary of your birth, people throw parties and give gifts? Maybe sing you a song?”

“You know, I feel that I am familiar with that concept, yes.”

“Well, we were planning something for you while you were in hospital. We snuck into Hogsmeade last night after Hermione brought you here. Obviously, she’s a terrible liar which is why she was acting strange,” said James, giving Hermione a pointed look as she stared wide-eyed back at him. “We wanted to wait until you were gone so you wouldn’t know. But then you went later than usual so we didn’t have a lot of time, which is why we were late. Sirius was extra late because he had to bring Hermione back to the Gryffindor Tower.”

“You went to Hogsmeade?” Remus asked skeptically, looking between the four of them.

“Yeah, your birthday is only a few days away. Anyway, so now Hermione knows about the cloak and the map…” said James with an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that… But you know that’s the only way to leave the grounds and not get caught.”

They really did seem to make a habit of sharing all of their secrets whenever he was gone. While Remus probably should have been annoyed about it, for some reason he just found it amusing. He did, however, have a sneaking suspicion that it was why Peter was acting the way he was. Peter hadn’t seemed thrilled the first time they had shared some of their secrets with Hermione.

“You could have gotten into a lot of trouble,” Remus said, looking around at them.

“But we didn’t,” said Sirius as he flashed a grin. “And we got goody-two-shoes Hermione here to break some school rules which is always a treat.”

Hermione scowled at him and Remus laughed.

“Oh? How was it, Hermione?” grinned Remus.

“Cramped,” she muttered and Remus laughed again. It definitely would have been cramped with them all under the cloak. The four of them hadn’t fit comfortably under it in years without someone having to transform.

“Sirius had to be a dog for a part of it so we wouldn’t be seen, and Peter had to stay on my shoulder,” said James.

“Should have heard her shriek when I became a dog,” beamed Sirius. “Gave her absolutely no warning.”

“And then you licked me!” chastised Hermione, a look of horror and anger on her face.

Remus grimaced at Sirius who was shaking with silent laughter.

“Oh, come on, it was funny!”

“No, Sirius, it was disgusting. And if you ever do something like that again I’ll hex you,” said Hermione angrily, still sounding funny when she spoke.

“I don’t understand why you don’t just get the top of your mouth healed,” said Remus looking at Hermione with confusion.

“I’ve gone my whole life in the muggle world burning my mouth. It’ll heal quickly. Not everything needs a magical fix,” said Hermione, crossing her arms as well as her legs in her chair.

He looked at her curiously. Hermione had always been the type to gravitate to magic rather than stick to muggle ways. Yet, she was quite stubborn at times. It still didn’t make sense that she’d want to stay in pain when it would take Madam Pomfrey only moments to heal it.

“But if you’re in pain…”

Hermione sighed and stood up, making her way to the end of the curtain.

“Wait, where are you going?” asked Remus feeling alarmed. He hadn’t wanted to offend her and make her leave…

“I’m going to fix it,” she said with a sly grin.

Hermione disappeared from behind curtain and Remus was left with just James, Sirius, and Peter who all looked slightly confused.

“You all are still acting very odd,” said Remus, shaking his head.

“We’re always odd,” said Peter nervously.

“Ah, at least that’s the truth,” said Remus, smirking at Peter.

“Moony, you have to tell her how you feel,” said Sirius suddenly

Remus’s eyes flickered towards James who shrugged and Remus turned back to Sirius.

“Why do you say that?” Remus said with his heartrate slightly increasing.

“Trust me,” said Sirius and Remus frowned at his vague answer.

“And if she doesn’t feel the same way?” Remus said back in a low voice.

“Mate, she’s going out of her way and risking freedom to do stuff for you. Why else would she do all of that?”

“Her freedom?” gaped Remus. “For what? Leaving the grounds? I highly doubt that they’d expel her or lock her in Azkaban for that. You’d have been expelled half a dozen time by now.”

“He’s right though, Remus,” said James. “You must wonder…”

James trailed off abut Remus knew he was talking about Hermione’s feelings. Of course he did, it had been one of the main things on his mind for weeks now. Every little move she made he had started to overanalyze, trying to determine what her motive could have been.

The entire night before he transformed all he could focus on was what that kiss on his cheek could have meant. It had been so quick. There wasn’t any type of lingering or longing looks that he noticed, it most likely was completely platonic. It was almost like the way his mother would peck him on the cheek whenever she dropped him off at Platform 9 ¾. That thought didn’t sit right with him and he shoved it out of his mind.

“We’re friends,” Remus settled on saying with a shrug.

“Yeah, but what friend does everything she does for you? And sneak away with you all the time? Happily taking notes for you and spending all their free time with you?” asked Sirius looking at him like he were crazy for not seeing something that didn’t seem to be there.

“Literally the three of you…”

“Okay, you got me there,” said Sirius with a grin.

“Exactly, so unless any of the three of you have something you’d like to confess…”

“Ah, Moony! You finally worked out that I’m madly in love with you,” said James with fake enthusiasm and Remus chuckled.

“You know, I had suspected your feelings that night you almost confessed you wanted to snog me. Although I do recall you saying I wasn’t your type.”

Remus pouted at James who burst out laughing.

“Grow some red hair and then we’ll talk,” said James with a wink.

“What is even happening?” asked Peter, sounding distressed as he looked between the pair of them.

“What’s happening,” started Sirius. “Is that Moony is pulling a Padfoot and Prongs special and distracting us by changing the subject.”

“Good call, Padfoot,” said Peter, and all three of them turned their attention back to Remus who shrunk back in the hospital bed.

“Blimey, that was good. I hadn’t even realized,” said James, who was still smirking slightly with a twinkle in his eyes.

“There’s nothing more to say,” Remus said with a shrug, shifting uncomfortably in bed.

“But why wouldn’t she like you? She spends all her bloody free time with you or doing things for you!” said Sirius.

“Has she explicitly said anything to any of you?” Remus asked, raising an eyebrow. There was a slightly hopeful knot building in his stomach as he wondered.

“Well… no…”

The knot seemed to sink lower into his stomach and Remus sighed.

“Then it’s not worth it. Look, I just don’t want to ruin anything with our friendship. If she shows any indication… then I’ll tell her,” he said simply. “Now can we please drop it? She could come back at any moment.”

It took Hermione longer than Remus had expected to return, but when she did, she wore a proud expression on her face, as if she were very pleased with herself. Sure enough, she was speaking normally and much more talkative now that she was able to speak properly.

It wasn’t until midafternoon that Madam Pomfrey gave him the all clear to leave. It was one of the earliest releases he had after a full moon, and he almost couldn’t believe it himself.

He wasn’t alone in his wonder at how quickly that recovery had been, because Hermione was questioning him about it as the two of them walked towards the Room of Requirement.

“So, why is it that sometimes you’re in hospital for a few days after a transformation, but others you can leave the next?”

“It usually depends on how much damage I do to myself,” he said in a low voice as they walked the corridors, just in case anyone came too close to overhear. “You know, bites and scratches and such. Those take longer to heal because they’re cursed and can’t be fixed with magic.”

“Why are some nights worse than others? Is there a reason some transformations are harder and you hurt yourself more?”

“It’s not really an exact science. All I know is that the transformation symptoms and my mood are sometimes directly connected which can affect things. Other times it’s just luck, I suppose,” he said with a small shrug.

“What do you mean by directly connected?” Hermione asked curiously.

“I’ve noticed it going both ways. An approaching transformation greatly heightens my emotions, so if I’m starting to feel irritated, I tend to get angrier faster. But on the other hand, if I start getting very emotional from something else, it can cause the physically side to get effected too. The headaches and joint pains will intensify more quickly if I’m angry, but if I’m really happy it might distract me from them.”

With a quick nod, Hermione seemed to get lost in thought for a moment, and Remus wondered if she was thinking about the same thing he was.

“So, it could have been easier this time because you were in a better mood?” she considered out loud.

Ah, so they had been thinking about the same thing.

“I did say that yesterday had been a great day,” Remus said with a warm smile.

A small smile formed on her lips as she looked up at him and Remus immediately felt butterflies. At the same moment, they came to stop in the middle of the seventh-floor corridor and faced the wall the door to the Room of Requirement would appear on.

“Alright, so what did you want to change?” she asked as she glanced at the blank wall and then back at him.

They stood in the corridor for a bit and talked over how they thought the room should look. After a while, the two of them walked over to a nearby bench. Hermione had the idea of using parchment to make a list of the things they both wanted and to start mapping out how they wanted it to look.

It was immediately apparent that Hermione was not the best at drawing, so Remus took over with the parchment and began marking out both of their suggestions for the new layout. It was nice, having her sit beside him as he sketched ideas for the room with her leaning over to watch and give feedback.

After much deliberation, Hermione had made it clear she wished for her magical record player to stay as well as bookshelves, and Remus wanted to keep the plush velvety chairs by the fire in some form. They both agreed there should be desks like before, but Remus had ideas on how to change them slightly. Instead of a large room with shelves upon shelves of books and multiple desks, he wanted to minimalize it slightly, so it seemed less like a mix of a common room and library but instead was something more special and personalized.

Remus had no idea how long they sat there, bouncing ideas off of each other. By the time they had decided they had finished and stood back up, the window behind them showed the setting sun over the grounds.

“Do you want to do the honors this time?” said Hermione as they walked across the corridor.

“Wait,” Remus said as he stared at the blank wall with the piece of parchment in his hand. “You’ve always done this, how exactly do I get the door to show up?”

Hermione laughed from beside him. “Pace back and forth for a bit while thinking of what you want to room to become.”

It sounded ridiculous, but he had seen her pace each time they came here. Feeling slightly foolish, but also excited, Remus began to walk up and down the corridor.

I would like to see the room Hermione and I just created he thought over and over.

When he turned around, he watched as a large ornate wooden materialized in the stone wall. Together, they pushed the door open.

It was almost exactly as he had imagined. The room held most of the same charm the one Hermione had created had, but there something slightly more comforting to it. Especially knowing it was a piece of both of them.

It was somewhat smaller than the original, but it had the same wooden paneled walls, lined with bookshelves. Torches hung from the ceiling casting the room in warm amber light, only amplified by the fireplace on the far wall.

One of the main differences were the chairs by the fire. Instead of the long red couch, there now sat a smaller velvety loveseat and there were only two matching armchairs on either side of the coffee table rather than armchairs scattered around the room. Everything now seemed to be made specifically for two people; the handful of desks that used to be near the door were replaced with just two that faced head-to-head.

The magical record player still sat in the corner. There was a record spinning in it at such a low volume that Remus could barely hear the soft jazzy tune. It seemed no louder than the sound of the torches and fire crackling.

There was a look of wonder on Hermione’s face as she strode further into the room with wide, eager eyes.

“It’s very…” Hermione trailed off as she looked around.

Intimate, Remus thought, staring at the newer and smaller version of their room with a warm feeling settling in his stomach as he tucked their blueprints away into his robes.

“Cozy,” she finished with a nod, and then she smiled brilliantly at him. “You were right, less like a common room, more a room just for the two of us.”

She began to wander around for a bit in the smaller space, observing the slight changes around her. When she got to the two desks her hand trailed across the wooden surface lightly and stopped when she reached some of the scented candles that were scattered on different surfaces around the room.

“You remembered what candles I had,” she said, smiling fondly down at the glass jars on the desk that matched the ones she had previously had in the room. “And there’s some new ones as well!”

Carefully, she leaned over a bright green candle and inhaled its scent, making sure she didn’t get her unruly hair near the flame. It took her a moment to place it, and when she did her body shot back upwards and she turned to look at him with surprise.

“Is that freshly mown grass?” she asked in amazement as she placed the candle back onto the desk.

“That was one of the scents you said you liked in potions, right?” Remus asked, hoping to keep himself from blushing as he thought back to the Amortentia.

“It is, yes,” Hermione said blinking. Her eyes lingered on him momentarily before she turned her attention back to the desks, making her way to the second one.

Remus cursed inside his head, wondering if maybe choosing candles based on what she had smelled in Amortentia was too much. Feeling out of his depth, Remus wondered how James and Sirius ever expected him to just tell Hermione how he felt. At the moment, all he felt was ridiculous.

“Oh! I just remembered that I brought you some chocolate!” she said suddenly, digging into her school bag and pulling out a Honeydukes chocolate bar. She grinned at him as she handed it over. “I know chocolate makes you feel better.”

With a grin, he took the chocolate bar and immediately began to unwrap it, touched by the sentiment. While he was feeling as poorly as he had earlier, chocolate always had a way of making him feel better. He broke off a square and handed it to Hermione who took it with a smile.

“To our room,” Remus teasingly toasted, and held up the square in front of him.

“To our room,” Hermione repeated with a small laugh.

They clinked the squares of chocolate and Remus couldn’t help the smile on his face as he bit down. The chocolate warmed his body as he felt a calming sensation relax his muscles as he tasted the sweet and rich flavors.

As Hermione ate her square, she began to look at the candles on the other desk. One by one, she picked them up and smelled them gently, seeming to enjoy herself immensely.

“Oh wow!” said Hermione, inhaling the aromas deeply from a brown candle. “This one smells amazing!”

He came to stand beside her and could smell the spiced candle, or maybe the smell was coming from her. It was difficult to tell since he had thought up the candle to smell just like the tea she always drank. It was lovely regardless.

“I thought you might like that one,” he said, hoping that taking a bite from his chocolate bar would hide his blush.

“It reminds me of my tea,” smiled Hermione, looking at the candle thoughtfully.

In his chest, Remus’s heart seemed to increase the rate it was beating as he wondered if she would begin to put two and two together. He shouldn’t have been surprised that she caught the scent almost immediately, she was brilliant, after all. But if she knew he had picked candles based on what she had smelled in the Amortentia, would she guess that some of those candles were what he had smelled as well?

If she had, she didn’t say anything, and Remus didn’t know if that was good or bad. How on earth was he supposed to figure out if she felt anything as well? For someone so smart, she was either incredibly oblivious or maybe just very good at masking that she knew how he felt. Both theories left a sour taste in his mouth, so Remus bit into his chocolate again to mask it.

They took a few more minutes to walk around the room. Hermione spent some time looking at names of books on the shelves or stopping to smell more candles whenever they came across new ones, while Remus spent his time just watching her and her small reactions with affection.

It was a very good thing that the candles were enchanted so they only gave off scents in their own immediate area, otherwise the room would probably smell like a jumbled mess. Instead, every corner of the room they visited just welcomed them with a new lovely scent.

“So, what do you think?” Remus asked as they made their way to the loveseat in front of the fire when their little tour seemed to have met its end.

Remus couldn’t be sure if the warm sensation that made its way through his body was from the crackling flames or from how close Hermione now sat to him. He took another bite of chocolate and relished in the comfort surrounding him.

“It’s perfect,” Hermione answered with a grin. “I feel as though I could live here.”

A similar feeling came to mind for him. Their place, where no one could find them.

“There’s actually something else I’ve been meaning to ask you all day,” said Remus, remembering their conversation from the night before.

Hermione raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“What was that about with Severus last night? You said you’d tell me today.”

Hermione’s face slowly turned pink, and Remus was not particularly fond of that reaction to Severus’s name.

“He was just trying to be intimidating as usual, but I feel like he’s all talk,” she answered.

“Be careful around Severus, Hermione,” warned Remus. “He may not seem as bad as Mulciber, Avery, Rosier, or any of his other friends, but they’re all headed down a bad path. Not to mention that Severus knew more dark curses before he started here at Hogwarts than even most seventh years would know.”

He watched as Hermione visibly swallowed, fidgeting slightly in the nook of the couch. “And you’ve seen him use them?”

Remus nodded grimly. “You’ve seen it too. Remember that slicing spell he used on the snowman? And when he cut James’s cheek back in October at the lake? He invented that slashing spell.”

“I know,” said Hermione somberly.

“You know?” Remus asked in surprise.

“I confronted him about the spell from the courtyard after Potions one day because I had never seen something like it before. He told me he invented it.”

Remus had to push the idea of Hermione and Severus talking together after class from his head.

“Yes. The spell James used earlier in the Hospital Wing so we could talk without being overheard was one he invented. And the spell James also used to hang Severus upside-down by his ankle at the lake? Severus invented that one as well.”

There was a moment of silence as Hermione absorbed this information. “But if he invented those then how do you know them?”

“Overheard him. He’s gotten smarter about not saying the incantations as we’ve all gotten older. We heard him practicing the muffliato one once while we were all under the cloak ages ago, ironically since it’s used so you can’t be overheard,” Remus chuckled darkly as he shook his head. “But we’d seen him and his friends use that dangling jinx before on unsuspecting people.”

“So, James turned it around back on him,” said Hermione evenly.

Remus nodded. “Obviously we’ve never used that slashing one before. I don’t think we’ve ever heard the incantation to be honest… but that spell is twisted. Even if we had, there’s no fun in maiming anyone.”

“Definitely not,” murmured Hermione with a small voice.

“I know it seems like we pick on him… James and Sirius especially… but there are many times where it’s not undeserved. James and Severus have been at each other since our first year and each side has gotten their share of abuse.”

“I see…” said Hermione, looking troubled.

Her hands seemed to suddenly become very interesting to her, because she turned her attention to staring at them in her lap.

“Are you alright?” Remus asked nervously, wondering if what he had said bothered her.

“Yes, well, maybe not… I just can’t seem to figure Severus out.”

“He’s very private. I’ve known him for nearly six years now and I still can’t get a good read on him.”

Hermione opened her mouth slightly, but then closed it. A nervous expression crossed her face, like she was wondering whether or not to say something.

“What is it?” Remus asked curiously.

“It’s just that… when I asked him about the spell, he said something else that was a bit troubling,” she said as she bit her bottom lip.

“What did he say?”

“Well, I thought it was a threat at first, but now I think it was a warning.”

“A threat?” said Remus, feeling alarmed.

She looked back up at him seriously and bit her bottom lip. “It seemed like he was trying to get me to figure out what you are.”

It felt like he had been punched in the gut.

“One of the agreements we made with Dumbledore after Severus found out was that he’d never tell a soul. He shouldn’t have tried to do that,” murmured Remus, and then he thought back to the odd interaction between Hermione and Severus the night before. “Is that what the whole thing was with him yesterday too? Was that why he was waiting outside of the Hospital Wing? To see if you’d show up with me, knowing what I was?”

“I can only imagine that’s why he was there. He said he was reminding me about his warning from that day after class, and to tell me that I didn’t know what I was dealing with,” Hermione was shaking her head in what seemed like annoyance. “But he knows less than he thinks.”

Remus’s throat suddenly felt very tight and he just stared.

“We saw him on the map too,” added Hermione. “Last night when we were under the cloak. He wasn’t anywhere near the tree… but he was waiting around by one of the entrances, probably trying to see if we would show ourselves headed there on the night of the full moon. But he doesn’t know about the others being animagi, right? I can’t imagine why he would think we’d be out there with you.”

Remus grimaced at the thought of Hermione being anywhere near him on a full moon. Why would Severus even be checking the grounds for them? Did they think they had planned a prank on Hermione. The idea of that greatly upset him.

“No he doesn’t know about them, and we’re trying to keep it that way.”

“Definitely a good idea,” agreed Hermione. “Luckily for us, Filch caught him on the grounds.”

She gave him a small smile that was impossible not to return.

“I’m sure he’s thrilled by that,” Remus chuckled.

There was another moment of silence that followed as Hermione seemed to hesitate again.

“I was wondering… Can you- can you tell me about the night Severus learned about you?” she asked in a quiet voice, and Remus felt like he had been punched in the gut again. “It’s just that… Sirius had said something last night under the cloak about Severus not learning his lesson the first time and I can’t help but wonder…”

She trailed off while she looked at him uncomfortably.

With a lump in his throat, Remus sighed and nodded slowly. A part of him wanted to punch Sirius in his gut, but he also knew Hermione probably should hear the story at some point anyway. At least this was a secret they had left him to tell her himself.

“Are you sure you want to hear it?” he asked hesitantly. “You may look at us differently afterwards.”

“I’m positive,” she said. She sat up straighter in the couch and looked at him eagerly.

“Alright… Well, it can take me a while to remember things during my transformations after the fact. There’s a lot of disorientation. Remember, I lose my human mind when I transform and the monster takes over, I’m not myself. Most memories I’m able to piece together when I come to the next day after a lot of rest, but it can take a bit of work to decipher what had happened…”

Hermione didn’t say anything but instead nodded encouragingly at him.

The story seemed to just flow out of him as he thought back to one of the worst nights of his life.

It was right before the end of the last school year. Like every month, at dusk, Madam Pomfrey had brought him to let him wait inside the ruined shack until he transformed. Once she was gone from sight, James, Sirius, and Peter would join him and they’d talk or goof around until he began to transform, which they then would do too.

That night had been like any other night, with nothing out of the ordinary. The sky had been clear and Remus wasn’t having any unusual symptoms, but his senses were already beginning to become heightened. Remus had been under the impression it would just be another routine transformation, maybe a better one than usual. It had been pure wishful thinking.

Sirius had looked more excited than usual. There seemed to be a permanent smirk etched onto his face as he sat on the shredded carpet that laid across the middle of the floor of the room upstairs.

But then, James, who had been telling jokes to Peter, was suddenly on his feet on full alert. With an intense gaze, he stared in the direction of the stairs that led down to the tunnel below the shack.

Remus had heard it too, a small thump coming from somewhere down below but it had been so quiet he initially hadn’t thought much of it with his mind prepping for transformation.

“What was that?” James asked quickly.

The four of them listened hard, but all Remus could hear now was the ever growing ringing in his ears as his body was ready to start ripping itself apart.

“I don’t hear anything,” said Peter, looking nervously at James.

“Exactly,” said James, not taking his eyes off of the door to the room. “Someone’s immobilized the tree.”

A short laugh came from Sirius and the other three of them turned to stare at him.

Remus would have asked what was so funny, but the familiar pang of pain overtook his body and instead, he groaned harshly into his fist. It was still too early before he fully transformed, so the rest of them paid him no mind as he crouched down onto the floor, wishing away the pain.

“Snivellus has been stalking about again,” Sirius had said with a smirk. “I may have told him about the knot on the tree.”

“Sirius,” said James with wide eyes. “What did you do?”

“What? With his mates cursing Macdonald and him trying to expose Moony, this sends a message to stay away and to stop messing with us!” spat Sirius.

Anger and fear flooded Remus’s body as he realized what Sirius was implying. How could he have told Severus how to find him when he was about to transform? Was he insane?

Spots filled Remus’s vision as white-hot pain radiated through his veins. There was never a transformation where the pain ever improved, and it felt like every bone in his body was snapping and bending, his muscles being torn part one by one.

Being mid-transformation was always the worst part; it was where his human side began to fight against the werewolf within, battling for control of both his body and mind. He was beginning to lose what little control he had remaining to comprehend the room around him.

“Peter, Sirius, transform and hide!” James barked at them. Remus was still able to hear the fear in his voice as another spasm of pain shot through him. “Hold Moony back, you can’t let Snape see you too!”

“Where are you going?” called out Peter as the sound of James running across the room echoed throughout the abandoned shack. The footsteps came to a stop on the other side of the room.

“I’m getting Snape away from here before he gets himself killed,” said James’s voice, barely audible through the internal ripping sounds coming from every inch of Remus’s body.

“Are you mad, James? He’s about to finish transforming!” shouted Sirius, now sounding frantic himself. “You’ll get yourself killed if you don’t transform!”

“Then you better keep him back!”

Another scream escaped Remus, one that no longer sounded quite human, and his whole body lurched forward until his nails dug into the dingy wooden floorboards. All he felt was blinding pain as black spots encompassing his vision.

Everything went completely black then.

When Remus opened his eyes again, everything around him seemed heightened. While his vision seemed more in focus, the colors around him were muted, dull, and desaturated, but he could hear and smell everything tenfold. On the floor in front of the door leading to the stairs was a large black dog and a grey rat. The black dog seemed to be in a defensive crouch, which had puzzled the wolf. What was the dog up to?

But then something else had caught his attention, and he wasn’t able to control the growl that escaped him as his head snapped towards the door. He could sense humans in the vicinity, or more accurately: he could smell them. Without any control of his body, his wolf form had lunged towards the stairs where the scent of the two human boys was stronger and was barreling in the direction of the tunnel.

Peter as a rat was frantically running across the floor and squeaking wildly, trying to distract the wolf but to no avail. Remus was pretty sure Peter had also tried to fling himself onto his back and bite down, but what chance did a little rat stand against a werewolf locked on a target?

Sirius had better luck holding him back. The large black dog had thrown himself in between him and the entrance of the tunnel from the shack side, trying to block his view. Snarls and bites came from both of them as they tussled, but the wolf had been stronger than the dog and easily overtook him down the tunnel.

“Are you mad, Snape? You have to get out of here!” he had heard James’s voice yell from a distance down the tunnel, and the sound of a human voice made Remus even more eager to run even faster.

Remus had just managed to see James frantically arguing with Severus at the end of the tunnel when Severus spotted him. Severus’s black eyes went wide at the sight of him, and he froze at the base of the tree and mouth of the tunnel, staring up at the wolf in horror.

“Run!” yelled James, yanking Severus by his robes back out of the tunnel and into the dark night.

A low growl had escaped his mouth as Remus crouched, preparing to pounce when a large black shape slammed into him. Sirius had caught up to him in the tunnel and bit down on the back of his neck, trying to drag him back up the tunnel’s slope. The wolf let out a howl and whipped around. With one quick slashing movement, the black dog was easily tossed aside and hit the wall of the tunnel with a sickening snap, letting out a defeated whimper.

The dog had done enough to distract him though, the two boys were already a good distance away. Remus had turned to follow the two humans out onto the grounds when he locked eyes with James who had stumbled backwards into the dark grass with a ghostly white Severus by his side.

Before Remus even had time to move, James pointed his wand in his direction and there was a great flash of light. It flew towards him but then connected with to trunk of the Whomping Willow. Suddenly the tree above him rumbled to life. James and Severus may not have fully made it out of range for the Whomping Willow’s branches, but James had managed to trap Remus inside.

Severus had desperately tried to scramble to his feet, struggling on the dark incline. James had more practice and grabbed him by the collar and heaved him up, pushing him forward towards the castle.

There was the blur of black robes as Severus began darting up the hill with James right behind him. He was weaving back and forth doing his best to dodge the branches of the Whomping Willow, looking like a serpent slithering through the grass from the distance.

Sirius had regained his strength by this point and was back on Remus, taking all of his attention. Somehow, that black dog had managed to get him to follow him back into the shack, where they stayed the remainder of the night with a rat.

The first thing Remus was aware of when he woke up in the shack that morning was an ashen Sirius laying exhaustingly on top of the old and dingy mattress in the corner of the room.

Everything was disorienting, and Remus had to blink rapidly through his pain to try to put together his surroundings. Normally Sirius, James, and Peter were gone when he woke up. They usually left as soon as he began to transform back so they’d be out of sight before Madam Pomfrey came to get him. Seeing them in the room made his stomach drop, but it felt even worse when he processed that James was nowhere to be seen.

Before Remus even had his voice return to his exhausted body, Sirius was already apologizing with tears streaming down his face. His left arm was clutched close to his body, hanging slightly at a weird angle. After a moment of confusion, Remus realized it must have been broken.

“I-I thought it would just scare him,” Sirius had choked out, tears running down his pale face. “I thought he’d just hear you and run off. I didn’t think he’d be s-stupid enough to try to g-get in! What was the idiot thinking!”

Beside Sirius, Peter was frozen in place, staring directly at Remus, unblinking. It was unnerving and Remus struggled to not pass out from both his exhaustion and the fear that had captured his entire body. What was Sirius talking about?

Never before had he seen Sirius in such a state, and Remus’s chest felt hollow as he tried to piece together memories from both himself and the wolf. All that was coming to him were bits and pieces that didn’t seem to make sense; howls, bursts of bright light, flying branches, and flashes of black fur. Whatever had happened couldn’t have been good if Sirius was that distraught. And what had he meant by someone was stupid enough to try to get in? Where was James?

“What happened?” rasped Remus weakly, it was all he could choke out in that moment, feeling the words rip through his already burning throat.

Sirius was overcome with emotion and just shook his head, so surprisingly, Peter was the one who spoke.

“Snape tried to get in when you transformed,” Peter said numbly. “James stayed human and went out to stop him still human as you chased them down.”

At that, the room around Remus went black again.

As he told his story, Hermione sat in silence, hanging onto each word he said. There were times when he could tell she was itching to interrupt and ask a question, but instead she would just settle for small gasps and wide eyes.

He told her what he could remember, and what the others had told him happened when there were gaps to fill. It was a night that would be burned into his memory forever, whether he wanted to forget it or not.

Telling the story made him feel numb, having to relive the fear, embarrassment, and self-disgust he felt from that night. But there was also a sense of catharsis in telling it. James, Peter, and Sirius had all been there, and none had ever wanted to relive that night, not that Remus blamed them for wanting to push it aside. But to be able to tell the story to someone who listened so patiently felt freeing.

“I remember waking up as myself that next morning and before I had even begun to try to think back to the night before, I could see the looks on Sirius and Peter’s faces and I knew something had gone terribly wrong… When I didn’t see James at first I… I – just for a moment –thought…”

He let himself trail off as his throat became thick. Hermione slide her hand over his own and squeezed, and it was like she was giving him some of her own strength to continue on.

“I-I thought I had done something horrible,” Remus managed choked out, trying to hold back the emotion that was building in his chest. Nothing had ever compared to how utterly terrified he had felt in that moment. He had never been so scared in his entire life.

Sirius and Peter had been gone when Madam Pomfrey woke him up not long after and brought him back to the Hospital Wing. He had been in terrible shape and wasn’t allowed visitors until much later that night, having to spend the whole day not fully understanding his memories and being left alone to think the worst. His only comfort was knowing that the other beds in the Hospital Wing were empty of werewolf victims, and if he had truly attacked someone, Dumbledore surely would have been there.

“I know animagi are not affected by the werewolf curse… so it couldn’t have been that I infected James if he were in stag form,” said Remus. “That was the only reason I was fine with them being around me when I transformed. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t do lasting damage to any them physically if I attacked. What if I had killed him? And what if I had done something before he transformed? What if I had infected him? And then there was Severus as well?”

Unable to help it, hot shame washed over his face as he looked down at his lap, not wanting to see the look on her face.

“But that didn’t happen, you didn’t do anything,” said Hermione, kindly.

It amazed him how she took in everything he had just told her with such ease and still looked at him so gently. It felt undeserved, and his shame boiled hotter.

“But it could have. And it could have happened many times before that night,” he said bitterly.

“Why do you say that?”

Remus hesitated, wondering whether or not he should tell her anymore in fear she’d be disgusted by him. But sharing everything had felt so good so far, and what was one more dirty little secret? Would it be the final straw that pushed her away?

“Because before that, there were times where we would even leave the shack and roam the grounds or the streets of Hogsmeade,” he admitted, hearing the revulsion in his voice at his own candor. “With their influence, I had become tamer, easier to manage. I had recklessly thought that we could go out and have adventures because they made me better. But I had been naïve and a fool. That ended that night, and I haven’t left the shack since.”

He waited, silently, as she stared at him for a long time.

“That was foolish,” she said finally, her voice very even. “It was dangerous and irresponsible and you’re all lucky to be alive. Unfortunately… you can’t change the past…” she gave him a sad smile. “But at least you know now to never do it again.”

It was a better response than he could have every hoped for or deserved.

“Anyway, James, Sirius, and Peter came to visit me after dinner that next day and they filled me in on everything I hadn’t already pieced together. I wasn’t released from hospital for two days. Apparently, I did a lot of damage to myself trying to fight my way through Sirius and out of the shack. The reason James wasn’t there when I had first woken up was because Severus had made a run for it to Dumbledore, and James followed him. The moment I was released, Dumbledore sat the five of us down to talk. We were all sworn to never speak of the night to anyone.

“James is quick on his feet and fed Dumbledore a very believable story filled with half-truths. Dumbledore doesn’t know about them being animagi of course, or he’d have to report them to the Ministry. James had made it seem like Sirius had told him he slipped the information to Severus and then they all ran down to stop him when they realized the joke had gone too far, not that they were already there. James told Dumbledore Sirius had been hit by the willow which broke his arm and gave him a good beating. Not that I threw him into the tunnel wall.”

“It isn’t as though Sirius didn’t deserve that,” muttered Hermione with an edge to her voice.

Remus raised an eyebrow at her. “I almost killed two of my best friends and another student and all you can say is Sirius had it coming?”

“Well… he did!” she said with a huff. “After everything that could have happened that night, a broken arm that was easily mendable seems almost tame.”

The story would have disgusted most, or sent them running for the hills, but all Hermione was focused on was her annoyance at Sirius’s part in it. There was a manic hilarity to it that Remus couldn’t believe. Looking at her disgruntled face, Remus wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or to cry or to even just pull her close and not let go just in case she really wasn’t real and she’d disappear if he didn’t.

“If it’s any consolation, I don’t think Sirius truly meant for Severus to ever go inside the tree. He was horrified at what happened,” he said wearily. “It took me a while before I was able to forgive him for that night.”

“Sirius is lucky he wasn’t expelled,” said Hermione with a slight hint of anger in her voice. “His intention doesn’t change that he could have gotten Severus killed. And by extension James.”

Remus nodded sadly. It was a thought that he too had many times since that night.

“Expelling Sirius would just have exposed what I was to everyone, so Dumbledore kept the whole thing quiet. To this day I still feeling guilty, knowing that I betrayed Dumbledore’s trust with my foolhardiness. I’d taken advantage of his kindness and all of the risks he took to allow me to come to Hogwarts. No other headmaster would have even thought to permit me to come to Hogwarts being what I am…”

The familiar feeling of shame twisted at his stomach.

“Sirius is to blame for what happened that night, not you,” said Hermione slowly but firmly. “And Severus isn’t innocent either. He had likely already known what you were and then went looking to prove it. To what? Expose you to everyone? What a reckless thing to do.”

Her tone was angry and he smiled wryly at her, touched by her passion but still feeling a strong sense of shame.

“I’m sure he either knew or at least suspected beforehand. That’s why he had come looking for proof. But it wasn’t something he deserved to die for.”

Hermione looked at him sadly and appeared to be doing some very quick thinking as her grip on his hand tightened. Her touch had seemed so second natured that he had forgotten for a moment that their hands were still intertwined on his knee.

“No, definitely not. But I’m glad James was able to stop it, not just for Severus’s sake but for your own.”

“For mine?”

Hermione nodded.

“You never would have forgiven yourself if you had done something to him, even if it would have been completely out of your control. And if James hadn’t stopped him, it would have exposed you, whether you attacked Severus or not.”

“What do you mean whether I attacked him or not?” he asked quizzically.

The corners of her mouth dropped and her eyes suddenly became glossy.

“If he had just seen you and gotten away without anyone knowing, he could have told the entire school what you are then your life would have been the one in danger. The world is cruel, and if he had exposed your secret, he’d have signed you up for a life of bigotry and misfortune. But if you had attacked him and the Ministry found out… well… we know what would have happened then…”

The grip she had on his hand grew even tighter and tears became to fill her eyes and Remus’s stomach sank at the sight of her in distress. Everything she had said echoed in his mind. There had been no need for her to say what the Ministry would have done to him if he attacked a fellow student as a werewolf. The thought of being thrown in Azkaban or sentenced to be killed made his body grow cold. He knew Hermione was thinking the same thing and it seemed to be bothering her significantly because she appeared to be desperately trying not to cry.

“Hermione…”

With a gently tug on her hand that was still gripping his tightly, Remus pulled her towards him on the couch. A sound of surprise mixed with a choked sob came from her throat as she fell into him and came to rest on his shoulder. Her face buried itself into his shoulder blade as she melted into him and Remus wrapped his arm around her.

There was still the lingering scent of spices and vanilla on her, now mixed with the chocolate which led to an intoxication concoction as he breathed it in. Wild, frizzy, brown curls tickled his face and he could feel her trembling slightly in his embrace.

“Shh, it’s alright. We’re all fine and everything ended up working out. It’s over and behind us and I’m not even mad at Sirius or Severus,” he said truthfully in a delicate voice. His hand made gentle circles across her back, trying his best to comfort her. “It was a year ago now, it’s best we all move on.”

He could feel her nodding into his shoulder, and he suddenly felt bold. Before he could talk himself out of it, he placed a soft kiss into her unruly hair. A sigh escaped her at his touch, and even though the subject matter should have had him just as upset, he couldn’t believe the bliss that seemed to take over his body as he rested his head on top of her bushy hair. Was that a sign?

They stayed like that until Hermione’s tears faded away and she no longer shook, but instead breathed quietly beside him. The vague memory of the two of them in the library on her birthday came to Remus’s mind, and he smiled to himself at the recollection. It was unbelievable how natural him holding her felt now compared to how awkward it had once been those many months ago.

“You know, there’s something I’ve also been meaning to ask you,” he whispered into her hair.

She shifted slightly and looked up at him with large eyes. “What’s that?”

“Is there any chance you’ll tell me what big plans you all made for my birthday?” asked Remus, with a faint smile. “A wizard only turns seventeen once in his life, you know.”

Hermione laughed and put her face back into his shoulder, grinning into his robes. “Not on your life.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 26 - To the Potters'

The weeks leading up until Easter holiday seemed to go on forever. Hermione was eagerly waiting to be able to rid herself of the mandrake leaf once the month was up and move onto the next step at James’s house. There had been a bit of quick thinking on her part in the Hospital Wing to stop her speech impediment and Remus’s suspicions, and at least now she was able to speak freely without fear of dislodging the leaf. James, Sirius, and Peter had seemed particularly annoyed when she explained to them that she had discovered she could use a sticking charm on it. Luckily for everyone, they seemed to get over it quickly.

The boys threw a huge party in the Common Room for Remus’s birthday, which again, was interrupted by a very livid Professor McGonagall in the dead of night. It was repeated again two weeks later when James’s birthday occurred, and Professor McGonagall was even less amused. This landed all four of them in detention for disturbing Gryffindor House in the middle of the night. James and Sirius claimed it was worth it.

Classes had given more assignments than ever with exams getting nearer and nearer. Between revising for classes, Apparition lessons (which Dumbledore had given Hermione permission to attend), Slug Club, going over animagus steps, going to James’s Quidditch match, as well as keeping an eye out for Snape and Filch, Hermione barely had a moment of peace. It seemed like the first time in the last few weeks she was able to sit and relax was on the Hogwarts Express.

The Scottish countryside flew by in green and brown blurs as Hermione stared out the window. There was a mix of nerves and excitement building in her stomach at the thought of going to James’s house. It would be nice to be in a home and not have to spend another break alone in Hogwarts. Not to mention how excited she was to continue on with animagus preparations.

There was a loud squawk came from the other side of the compartment and Hermione looked up at the storage rack. James’s owl seemed to be getting restless as the Hogwarts Express jostled back and forth and he was kicking up a fuss in his cage above the seat where Lily, James, and Peter sat.

James had been particularly thrilled that Lily had chosen to join them in their compartment, even more so when the rest of them had chosen seats that would have left Lily no choice but to sit beside James. Unfortunately, this meant Peter was sitting across from Hermione by the window, but sacrifices sometimes had to be made.

“Archimedes, calm down,” James muttered and he stood up. He looked at his short-eared owl with pursed lips, resting his arm against the bars where Archimedes’ cage sat along with their trunks. “We’ll be back in a few hours and you can fly around then.”

“What if you opened his cage and he could just hang out in the compartment?” suggested Lily, looking up at James.

“What, so we can get pooped on by an owl?” scoffed Sirius with a laugh.

“Archimedes isn’t going to poop on you,” said James, rolling his eyes as he sat back down.

“You don’t know that.”

“Shouldn’t you be sitting with Doris?” Lily asked wearily. She was eyeing Sirius from directly across the carriage with a grimace as she watched him pull his shoes off and stretch out. “And Hermione, could you open that window before I’m sick?”

“I second that,” said Remus who was sitting in between Hermione and Sirius. He was staring at Sirius tiredly.

Hermione, who had just been hit by the smell of Sirius’s feet, happily obliged and opened the window, letting in the crisp fresh country air.

“We don’t need to be with each other every second of the day, unlike Macdonald and Donner. Doris and I are very casual,” said Sirius, resting his hands behind his head with a sly smirk. “Very, casual.”

Lily blinked.

“I don’t even want to ask what you mean by that. Pretend I didn’t say anything,” she said quickly.

Sirius grinned brilliantly and barked out a laugh.

Lily gave a faint smile and then looked down at her watch.

“Ah, Remus we have to do patrols again,” she said, looking across the compartment at him.

Remus sighed and stood up.

“Duty calls,” he murmured reluctantly.

Hermione watched sadly as Lily opened the door and the two of them disappeared from the compartment.

It had been like that the entire ride so far. Every now and then Remus and Lily would have to leave to do their duties of patrolling the train as prefects. There was a feeling of loneliness once the two of them were gone.

A small part of Hermione felt jealous. When she had been made prefect, it had felt like such an honor. It was almost a sense of validation that her, a muggle-born, would be given that status; proof that she belonged there in Hogwarts, and by extension, the magical world. Having to sit back while two of her friends now had at responsibility instead of her was disheartening.

“What’s with the long face, ‘Mione?” asked Sirius, scooting along the seat so he was closer to her.

She looked up with a bit of surprise. She hadn’t realized she had even been making a face.

“I was a Prefect before I came here,” admitted Hermione. “I guess a part of me misses it.”

“Did you have to patrol a train too?” asked Peter.

“No, there isn’t a train to Beauxbatons.”

“How did you get there?” asked James.

“Flying carriage pulled by Abraxon,” Hermione said with a shrug, hoping that if it sounded like it was no big deal then they’d stop asking questions.

“Wicked,” breathed Peter.

“And all we get is a ruddy train,” groaned Sirius. “Wish we had flying horses.”

“I actually rather like the train,” said Hermione. “It’s relaxing. Plus it smells far better than horses. Well, it did before you took your shoes off…”

Sirius laughed and wiggled his sock covered toes at her.

“Don’t you miss flying, though?” asked James. “I’d miss flying.”

“I hate flying,” said Hermione, crinkling her nose as the thought. “I prefer to be on solid ground, thank you.”

Archimedes began thrashing about in his cage again and was hooting in annoyance.

“But it does seem like he misses flying,” said Hermione with a smirk, pointing up at the restless owl.

With a sigh, James was on his feet again. He opened his cage and the grey owl immediately hopped into the compartment. He gave a few more hops on the seat and then flew straight out the window.

“Bloody owl…” murmured James as he sat back down in his seat. “He better catch back up with the train or he’ll have a long flight down to West Country…”

“You know what would be fun?” asked Sirius with a grin. His usual twinkly-eyed expression that he’d get whenever he was about to suggest doing something stupid formed on his face.

“Whatever you’re about to say will most certainly not be fun,” said Hermione, bracing herself for stupidity.

Sirius ignored that.

“If we flew the rest of the way back to the Potters’.”

“What?” gasped Hermione. “You cannot be serious!”

James and Peter both immediately groaned at her mistake. Sirius’s eyes seemed to twinkle even brighter as he looked at her, beaming.

“I can assure you, Hermione. I am very Sirius.”

Hermione nearly smacked herself in the forehead, but she fought the urge.

“That’s incredibly dangerous! Not to mention foolish and against the rules,” said Hermione, ignoring his attempt at a pun. She crossed her arms and looked sideways at him angrily.

“Oh, you’re no fun,” moped Sirius. “When you become an animagus then we’ll see how fun you can be. Think of all the things you’d be able to do. You can sneak out to Hogsmeade!”

“Absolutely not!” gasped Hermione, sitting up straighter in her seat. “I’m only learning this to be able to help Remus. Besides, we could get in enough trouble doing what we’re already doing. I will not risk getting caught sneaking off to Hogsmeade.”

“She’d be more likely to sneak into the Restricted Section,” muttered James under his breath, but Sirius still had his attention on Hermione.

“You’ll risk the wrath of the Ministry by trying to become an illegal, unregistered animagus… but refusing to leave school grounds because it’s against the rules is the hill you choose to die on?” asked Sirius disbelievingly.

“Sirius, have you ever heard of ‘don’t break the law while you’re breaking the law’?”

“What? No?”

“It’s like if you’re smuggling illegal contraband in the boot of your car; don’t get pulled over for running a light…”

Sirius blinked.

“The only thing I understood about that sentence was ‘illegal contraband’. And even that is redundant since contraband implies it’s illegal anyway.”

Hermione sighed and put her face in her hands.

“You are impossible,” she groaned, looking back up at him. “It means that if you don’t want to get found out doing something illegal, then don’t draw attention to yourself or get caught doing something else that’s even more stupid.”

“Okay, enough,” said James, looking between them with a look of bewilderment and bemusement while Peter just looked uncomfortable. “No one is flying back to my house. Hermione doesn’t ever have to sneak to Hogsmeade.”

“Thank you,” said Hermione with a small huff.

“You two better behave for my parents on the days I’m not there,” said James, shaking his head slowly.

“I’m sorry, what?” said Hermione, turning her focus back to James. “Days you aren’t there?”

“Did I not tell you? There’s a few days where I have to go to Gwen’s house,” said James with a shrug.

Hermione gave a start. “Gwen? Who’s Gwen?”

“Gwendolyn Robins,” said Peter. “She’s a year below us.”

“Yes, she’s one of my fellow chasers on our Quidditch team,” said James with a nod. “She has this big open field behind her house with a makeshift Quidditch pitch. Since the whole team is going home for the holiday, she agreed to let us practice at her house so we don’t fall behind.”

“You have to go play Quidditch?” gaped Hermione.

“We have to prepare for our match against Ravenclaw! We barely scrapped by against Hufflepuff last week and if we want to be in the cup match we need to be on our best game,” said James. “And it’s not like I can cancel Quidditch practice.”

Hermione was momentarily reminded of Oliver Wood and immediately became annoyed.

“You can’t miss one practice?”

“I’m Captain!”

Hermione crossed her arms. “So you’re just going to leave me with Sirius?’

“Oi!”

“’Fraid so,” grinned James.

“I know I’m no Remus, but we’ll still have a good time,” said Sirius with a grin.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” said Hermione, eyeing him suspiciously. For some reason his remark embarrassed her and she felt her stomach tighten. A part of her also did feel slightly bad. Sirius wasn’t horrible company.

“It means we all know how much you love sneaking off with him, but you’ll just have to settle with me.”

“You’re my friend too,” said Hermione, feeling her cheeks grow slightly warm. “It’s not like I’m settling, I’m sure we’ll find something to do… Besides, it’s not like you’re leaving me all alone.”

“Well except the night of the full moon. We have to floo to Remus’s, so we’ll be gone that night,” said Sirius.

This wasn’t new knowledge, but it still made her frown at the thought.

Hermione turned to look at Peter. “Are you meeting up with them as well?”

“I can’t,” grumbled Peter. “I’m visiting family for Easter and we won’t get back home until a few days before holiday ends. It’s not as though I can tell my mum ‘hey, I have to go be with my werewolf friend’ now can I?”

Peter looked rather glum as he said this, and Hermione almost felt a wave of pity for him.

Almost.

“Well, you’ll be at the next one at least,” Hermione said, trying to be friendly like Sirius had told her to be, but she was finding it rather difficult. “Hopefully you’ll have a good holiday with your family.”

“Yeah… Thanks…” Peter muttered, still looking put out.

The door of their compartment opened and Remus slipped in. Hermione beamed at the sight of him.

“How’d rounds go?” Hermione asked him as he sat down between her and Sirius, pushing Sirius back over to his side. “Where’s Lily?”

“They were fine as usual. Lily went to join Mary, Claudia, and Doris. I still think you should sit with Doris, Sirius,” said Remus, looking at him pointedly.

“For the last time,” said Sirius. “Doris and I aren’t even dating, we’re just… snogging occasionally…”

Everyone groaned at that, causing Sirius to grin wickedly.

“So, Lily’s not coming back?” asked James, looking disappointed.

Remus smiled at him sadly and shook his head reluctantly.

“I think Sirius’s feet was a bit of a turn off.”

James looked at Sirius with annoyance. In one fell swoop, James snatched one of Sirius’s shoes from the floor and quickly tossed it out the open window. His aim was perfect and Hermione’s mouth fell open as the black shoe quickly soared out of sight.

“Hey!” shouted Sirius, getting to his feet with wide eyes.

Remus also jumped to his feet and rushed to the window. Peter let out an audible gasp as Remus stuck his arm out of the train and Hermione quickly pulled her legs up into her body on the seat to give him more room, not knowing what else she could do.

“Accio shoe!”

After a moment, Sirius’s shoe suddenly came soaring back towards their train compartment. Wind was blowing wildly through Remus’s hair as he leaned further out the window and caught hold of the shoe with his free hand.

Looking pleased with himself, he ducked back into the train and tossed the shoe lamely at Sirius. Strands of his sandy hair still stuck up in every direction and he tried his best to flatten it as he sat back down beside Hermione, Sirius sitting back down on the other side of him.

“That was a pretty good catch, Moony,” said James with an impressed nod. “You ever think to try out for seeker? Ours is graduating this year and we’ll need a new one.”

The awe Hermione had just been feeling at Remus’s impressive reaction immediately turned to dread at the prospect of losing him to Quidditch. She quickly turned to try to read his expression, hoping he’d turn the offer down.

“I think I prefer observing from the stands,” grinned Remus.

He smiled faintly at Hermione and she felt a sense of relief at his refusal. The idea of having Remus gone all the time for Quidditch practice and having to be in the stands with just Sirius and Peter was terrifying.

“That’s because you have some sense,” approved Hermione with a smile. “Brooms are wooden death traps.”

“You never did like flying,” said Remus with a nod. Hermione smiled, touched that he knew that even though he had just missed their last conversation.

“That’s what we were talking about when you were gone,” said Peter.

“Yeah, Hermione is a party pooper and said we can’t hop off the train on our brooms and fly back to James’s house,” said Sirius.

The corner of Remus’s mouth twitched.

“I mean, that does sound like a bit of fun…”

“Remus!” gasped Hermione, feeling betrayed.

He chuckled at her stern expression and looked back at the boys with a twinkle in his eyes. “I mean, of course you can’t do that… Er- I’d certainly have to write you up…”

“That’s more like it,” said Hermione with a nod and Remus laughed again.

“More important than Quidditch… where’s the food trolley? I’m absolutely starved!” said Sirius, quickly pulling his shoes back on before they were thrown out the window again.

It was dark by the time the Hogwarts Express reached London King’s Cross. As they pulled up to the station, Hermione could hear the students throughout the train begin to file out into the corridor with their trunks, chatting excitedly.

“I’ll see you all in two weeks,” said Peter once he got onto the platform. He gave them a short wave and lugged his trunk through the crowd as they waved after him.

Sirius and James were right behind him.

“Race you to the end of the platform?” said Sirius as soon as his feet hit the platform.

“You’re on,” grinned James.

The two of them took off, dodging between students and reunited families. Their trunks seemed to weigh them down and they looked utterly ridiculous flailing about as they tried their best to run until they disappeared in the crowd.

“They’re mad,” said Hermione simply.

Remus laughed as he pulled his trunk down the stairs as he exited the train.

“Here, I got that,” said Remus, looking up at Hermione and her trunk.

He reached up the steps and grabbed the trunk handle and easily lifted it down the stairs and placed it on the platform.

“Thanks,” she smiled as she followed it down. “I always forget how strong you are.”

He let out a short laugh and quickly mimed a playful flexing motion. “What can I say, I need to be able to pull people out of trick steps.”

Hermione’s hand went to her face and she shook her head. “Oh don’t remind me. That hurt way more than I expected.”

“You do know you’re of age now though and could have levitated your trunk off the train, right?” he said with an amused smirk.

Hermione gasped. “You’re right! Why didn’t I think of that? I’m seventeen, I can do magic outside of school now!”

With an excited grin, she immediately pulled out her wand and used the levitating charm on her trunk, which began hovering a few centimeters off the ground. Hermione beamed up at Remus, feeling slightly giddy.

“You can too, you know,” Hermione said.

There was amusement in Remus’s eyes as he laughed, then levitated his own trunk.

They started walking down the platform until they spotted James and Sirius. They seemed to be talking to someone that Hermione couldn’t see through the crowd, but she knew the closer she got to them, the sooner she’d be leaving for James’s house. Suddenly, she struck with how much she was going to miss Remus, causing her to stop short.

Remus looked over his shoulder with confusion.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, making his way back towards her.

“I just can’t believe I won’t see you for two whole weeks,” groaned Hermione. A weight was building in her chest and she looked up at him sadly. “Maybe we can all plan some kind of visit before we have to go back.”

“I’d like that,” smiled Remus. “But it might be hard since I’ve picked up shifts at Flourish and Blotts. We’ll have to work out a time that works for everyone.”

Hermione sighed gloomily. She had nearly forgotten about Remus having his job at the bookstore.

“I know you’ll be working a lot, but you’ll still write, right?” she asked hopefully. Her stomach was already in knots just anticipating missing him, even though he still stood right in front of her.

“Hmm… I mean, I guess if you really want me to, I could write…” Remus teased with a crooked smile.

“Oh, stop it,” laughed Hermione, batting him lightly in the arm.

As her arm began to fall back to her side, Remus quickly took hold of her hand and gave it a small squeeze, causing a warmth to spread through her body.

“But truthfully, I’ll write every single day,” he said with a smile.

“Every day?” asked Hermione, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course.”

It seemed like there was something he wanted to say, but James started calling Hermione over to where he and Sirius stood down the platform. Remus’s gently released her hand and gave her a sad smile.

Hermione reached out and pulled him into a quick and tight hug, which he quickly reciprocated.

“Hermione, come on!” yelled James.

With a sigh, Hermione pulled away and smiled regrettably at him. “I guess that’s my cue.”

“Enjoy it at the Potters’, they’re very lovely people,” smiled Remus.

“I’ll write you in the morning and tell you all about how tonight goes,” she replied.

“I look forward to it,” he said. “Goodbye, Hermione.”

“Goodbye, Remus.”

Reluctantly, Hermione started towards James and Sirius. When she turned back around, she watched Remus walking down the platform and she already felt a pang of sadness.

She gave her head a small shake and continued walking. Nerves flooded Hermione’s stomach as she approached James and Sirius who were standing with two adults Hermione had never seen before, but she had a good idea of who they must be.

“Hermione, these are my parents, Fleamont and Euphemia Potter,” said James proudly and gesturing towards them.

Fleamont and Euphemia Potter weren’t what Hermione had expected at all. Well, to be fair, Hermione had no idea what to expect to begin with, but it certainly was not the two people who stood before her.

Both of them were much older than she had anticipated. James’s mother had short wavy ashy brown hair, that looked as though it was once a dark brown but was now streaked with grey. She had brown eyes and a kind smile that caused little wrinkles to crease around her bespectacled eyes. James’s father was balding on top but the hair he had left was completely grey. He was a tad on the shorter side with knobby knees, which gave James a bit of a height advantgae on both his parents. But similarly to his wife, he also had smile lines around his hazel eyes. Both of them smiled warmly as they greeted her.

“It’s so wonderful to meet you, Hermione,” smiled Mrs. Potter, stretching her arm out and eagerly shaking Hermione’s hand. “James has told us so many wonderful things about you.”

“Has he?” Hermione asked with surprise as she turned and shook Mr. Potter’s hand.

“He has,” grinned Mr. Potter.

“He seems so fond of you so it’s nice to finally put a face to the name,” said Mrs. Potter.

“Okay mum…” murmured James, seeming slightly embarrassed as he rolled his eyes.

“Thank you so much for allowing me to stay at your home, Mr. and Mrs. Potter,” said Hermione graciously, trying hard not to laugh at James. “And thank you for the Sleekeazy's Hair Potion around last Christmas.”

Mr. Potter smiled and waved this off. “It’s nothing, dear girl. We are more than happy to have any of James and Sirius’s friends over anytime. And please, call us Fleamont and Euphemia.”

“Thank you,” she smiled

“So! Are we all set, lads?” said Fleamont, looking at James and Sirius.

“Ready when you are, dad,” said James, taking hold of his trunk.

“How are we getting there?” asked Hermione, looking around at the four of them.

“Apparition of course,” said Sirius.

“What?” said Hermione with a start. “But we haven’t passed our tests yet!”

“Side-along apparition,” corrected James with a grin.

Fleamont Potter made his way in between where Sirius and James stood and put his hands on each of their shoulders. He looked very tiny between the pair of them.

“Hold on tight, dear,” said Euphemia gently, grasping Hermione’s hand.

Hermione had just enough time to make sure she was clutching her trunk before she felt it. With a crack, it felt like Hermione was hurdling through the air. It felt like she was being sucked down a dark tube that got smaller and smaller the more she slid, squeezing every bit of her. It was pitch black, but Hermione shut her eyes tightly anyway as pressure built in her ears, and then her entire head. In a moment of panic, Hermione felt like her head just might explode.

And then it was over.

Carefully, Hermione peaked through her eyelids and saw they were all standing in what appeared to be an entryway, but Hermione couldn’t be positive because the room was still spinning slightly.

It was the first time she had fully apparated, not counting just moving forward a few paces into a hoop in the Great Hall. There were still a few weeks left of lessons before they tried longer distances, and Hermione was now not looking as forward to it. She swayed slightly and felt wobbly on her feet, blinking rapidly.

“Wish we had flown, Hermione?” laughed Sirius as he took in her startled expression.

“I thought the sensation was rather similar to be honest,” she answered in a small voice, which earned her chuckles all around.

“Who wants supper?” beamed Euphemia, clapping her hands together close to her chest.

Hermione followed the Potters and Sirius through the house until they reached the dining room. During the short journey Hermione tried to observe the rest of the house as much as she could. Everything looked very homey, and the aesthetic seemed almost timeless, with vibes from the 40s and 50s, which made sense knowing that James’s parents were older.

From what she could tell, the house was quite spacious, while still being modest. She knew James’s family had money, but there was a humbleness to their home. Everything seemed comfortable and there were countless moving family photos lining the walls. What really excited Hermione was when they passed a room that appeared to be a small study or library. James seemed to notice her staring as they passed it and he promised her that anything in there was open for her use. Hermione had to make a mental note to look through their books while she was there.

Dinner was an interesting but pleasant affair. Euphemia had cooked all of James and Sirius’s favorite foods for their homecoming and Hermione had to admit, her cooking was on par with Molly Weasley’s. Everything was delicious. But it was impossible to not wish Harry could also be there with her, getting to experience a dinner with his family.

Just as Remus had said, the Potters were a lovely bunch; Euphemia and Fleamont were incredibly kind and doting. It was all jokes around the table and Sirius seemed to fit in with them so perfectly it was hard to believe he wasn’t born into the family. It was clear how fond James’s parents were of Sirius as well, and he was treated just like another son. The level of respect and love Sirius had for them was also quite noticeable. If Hermione thought she had seen both James and Sirius in their element before, it was nothing compared to the level of comfort they had there in their own house. The two of them seemed to positively radiate comfort and happiness, and Hermione found it infection.

When dinner was over, James and Sirius lead Hermione upstairs to the first floor.

“Mum and dad’s room is down on the ground floor. That’s my room,” said James pointing at the first door on the landing. “Sirius’s is right across the hall. There’s a guest room next to him that obviously no one is using right now, and then there’s the loo…

“Here we are,” said James proudly as they reached the end of the first floor corridor. “My mum set it up just for you. Sounds like she had a bit of fun with it from what she’s owled me, I feel like she’s always wanted a girl.”

He pushed the door open and the three of them stepped inside.

The room was beautiful. It wasn’t too big, similarly to what Hermione had seen with the rest of the house; it was modest without being cramped. It had wooden floorboards like the rest of the house and off-white walls. A small double mattress sat on a tan wooden four-poster frame that had sheer white curtains tied together in the corners. A light blue floral duvet with matching pillows made up the bed that looks exceptionally comfortable. The wardrobe and desk on the other side of the room matched the wooden tones of the bedframe, but the part of the room that interested Hermione the most was the large bay window with a cushioned bench built into it. She absolutely loved the room.

Walking further into the room, Hermione peered out the bay window that looked over the large back garden of James’s home. It was hard to tell in the dark, but it also seemed like there might have been a lake out in the distance, and Hermione was looking forward to seeing it better in the morning.

“You’ll have a nice view of the sunset from here,” said James. “Shame it’s so dark now and we missed it.”

“Sometimes I wish I had one of those window bench things with that view,” complained Sirius, pointing towards the window. “My room faces the front of the house so mine is just a regular square.”

“Why didn’t you choose this room then?” asked Hermione.

“Because if James and I keep our doors open, we can play catch across the hall.”

“Yeah, my mum absolutely loves that,” grinned James.

“I can see why…” said Hermione, feeling a sense of pity for poor Euphemia Potter for having to deal with their shenanigans.

Hermione then felt a yawn coming and quickly covered her mouth.

“Tired?” asked James, and Hermione nodded.

The long train ride and the shock and excitement of being at James’s house and meeting Harry’s grandparents seemed to be catching up to her. She wanted nothing more than to put on her night clothes, wash up, and get into bed.

James grinned at her. “We’ll let you get some rest. See you in the morning.”

“And by morning, he means afternoon. I wasn’t kidding when I said I sleep all day,” said Sirius with a wink.

She bid the two boys goodnight and quickly got ready for bed. The bed was probably the most comfortable bed she had ever been in, and after closing the valve of the gas lamp on her nightstand, Hermione had no trouble falling asleep.

Her body must have been more tired that she had originally thought, because Hermione slept until late morning the next day. With the sun now shining, Hermione was able to fully appreciate how beautiful it was where James lived. No longer was the back garden covered in shadows, so she now had a clear view from the bay window. Hermione could see the vast outline of the English countryside spanning for kilometres. It didn’t seem like there was another house in sight. Her initial thought had also been right; there was indeed a lake in the distance far behind James’s house, which seemed to go on forever. It was surrounded by trees and other foliage, giving off a secluded vibe. It was silly, but she couldn’t help but think that everything just looked like magic.

She kept her promise to Remus and sat down at the desk to begin writing a letter to him about the night before and how dinner had gone with the Potters’. It had only been about half a day since she had seen him, but she already missed him and wished he were there. If only he could have stayed in the extra room across the hall.

When James and Sirius had finally woken up, they immediately brought her outside. The two of them promised it would have to do with the next animagus step, but Hermione would have wanted to see the exterior regardless.

It was the first time she got a good look at the house. It was a gorgeous, old country farmhouse made of greyish brown stone with green ivy was making its way up the sides. There were trees surrounding the house and shrubbery and flowers spread out across the property. It was like something out of a fairytale.

Out in the back garden there was a small sitting area with benches surrounded by flowerbeds with a wonderful view of the lake. It was even more beautiful seeing it in person rather than just from out a window. There was an old swing set beneath a willow tree, as well as a storage shed on the outskirts of the property.

The thing that intrigued Hermione the most was a building that looked like a miniature stone house out back. It was the same stone material as the main farmhouse, but on a much smaller scale and with no windows. It did, however, have a few small chimneys sticking out from the roof with small spirals of smoke coming from them.

James and Sirius both looked at Hermione excitedly as they approached it, making Hermione ever more eager to see inside.

“This is my dad’s potions laboratory,” said James they neared the building. “But he just likes to just call it his workshop.”

There was a padlock on the wooden door and James gave it a quick tap with his wand and the door clicked open.

Inside were more potion ingredients than Hermione had ever seen. The dark, damp, and windowless room itself probably would have been on the large side, but there were shelves lining the stone walls filled with magical ingredients that would have put both Slughorn’s and Snape’s private storage to shame. Workbenches took up most of the space in the middle of the room, some with cauldrons burning steadily on top of burners with scattered phials and tubes across the tables. It was a potioneer’s dream lab and Hermione didn’t know what to look at first.

“Are potions brewing?” she asked curiously, peering over one of the tables and into a cauldron with bubbling purple liquid. It was nothing like she had ever seen before, and her curiosity was beginning to take over.

“He’s usually making something, yeah,” said James absentmindedly as he examined shelves. “He’s retired now but he does still brew often.”

“Will we get in trouble for being in here?” asked Hermione nervously as she too began examining the shelves around her.

Some of the ingredients she noticed were incredibly rare and expensive. She had to force herself not to touch anything even though she was dying to examine every label on every bottle.

“Nah,” said Sirius, waving his hand casually. “He won’t mind.”

“Aha!” said James, plucking something off a shelf. “This is what we need.”

He walked across the room to where Sirius and Hermione stood and held up what looked like a curled up brownish green leaf in a small glass phial.

“Chrysalis of a death’s-head hawk moth,” said James with a large grin. “We’ll just need to add this with your leaf, a strand of your hair, and dew and then we have everything until the lightning storm.”

“So now we wait until after the full moon when the leaf is done,” said Hermione, taking the bottle from James and examining it in her hand.

James and Sirius both nodded.

“And now we wait.”

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

“Will you be fine here while we’re out, dear?” asked Euphemia as she stood at the door leading to the entryway, putting on her coat.

“Yes, I’m sure Sirius will be up shortly,” said Hermione.

Euphemia chuckled and shook her head with a fond smile. “That boy sure knows how to sleep… Okay, well, we’ll be back in a few hours.”

She gave her a small wave and left the room, letting the door swing shut behind her.

Hermione looked back down at the journal sitting on her lap and dipped her quill in ink. She was sitting in the Potter’s sitting room listening to some magical jazz records that she and Euphemia had just been listening to. The fireplace burned softly in front of her and Hermione hummed along to some of the tunes she recognized as scribbled away into the journal. James had gone to Quidditch practice at Gwen’s house, and Sirius was still fast asleep, so Hermione was trying to keep herself occupied.

The journal she was writing in was one of the ones Sirius and James had gifted her for Christmas. They had been far too nice to use for just notes, so Hermione had begun using them to document her time in the past. One she used as a personal diary, and another would one day be meant for Harry. She had thought it would be a nice idea to write about his parents, grandparents, and Sirius for him to have. If she ever did manage to get home, she thought Harry might want something like it, and if not, she’d have a book of memories to look back on for herself. That along with the box of letters she had stored under her bed from Lily, James, and Sirius. She thought maybe Harry would like to have a piece of his family.

The letters from Remus and Mary she would keep for herself. It wasn’t as if Harry would have a need for those anyway.

As she listened to some tracks from Celestina Warbeck, Hermione continued writing in the beautiful leatherbound journal on her lap. She wasn’t sure if anyone had ever spoken to Harry about his grandparents, so she was taking special care to be as detailed as possible about just how lovely Euphemia and Fleamont were.

The door to the sitting room swung open and Hermione looked up to see a pajama clad Sirius walking into room with a yawn. It was well past noon now and Hermione couldn’t help but smirk at the sight of him.

“Mornin’. What’re you up to?” said Sirius, plopping down into a nearby armchair. He had a plate of small sandwiches in his hands, and Hermione wondered if Euphemia had left them out for him, because he certainly hadn’t made them himself.

“Good afternoon. I’m just writing in a journal,” said Hermione, lifting the journal up slightly.

Sirius eyes lit up as he recognized it. “The ones we gave you!” he beamed through a mouthful of sandwich. “Aw, that’s great Mione. I’m glad you got some use to them.”

“They really are lovely,” she said, smiling back at him. “Thank you again for them.”

Sirius smiled warmly at her and then bit into a sandwich. “So where is everyone?”

“James is still at Quidditch practice, and Euphemia and Fleamont left a little while ago to go to the shops.”

Sirius nodded and then turned to face the magical record player with a frown, pausing to listen to the music. “Is this Celestina Warbeck?”

“It is,” said Hermione, returning her attention to the journal, but turning it ever so slightly out of Sirius’s line of sight. “Euphemia was sitting with me earlier and was listening to it and I’ve just kept it on.”

“I really need to get a move on with proving that Professor Warbeck is related to her,” grumbled Sirius. “I bet Jared Muller two galleons that I’d prove it before we lost her.”

Hermione looked at him curiously. “Lost her?”

Sirius shrugged. “Well, the position is cursed, right? We’ll have a new defense teach next year so that only gives me a little over two months to prove it before term ends. I need to step up my game!”

Hermione smiled to herself as she thought back to all his failed attempts throughout the school year to try to prove it. “You’re going to wind up in detention again.”

Sirius grinned. “Detention is worth it if I get to see the look on Muller’s face when he hands over my galleons.”

“If you’re right, that is,” teased Hermione with a short laugh.

“Oh I am.”

“Don’t do anything stupid,” she warned.

“I make no promises.”

This time they laughed together.

Over the last few days, whenever James was gone, Sirius did he best to find some way to get some entertainment from Hermione whenever she didn’t force him to work on homework with her. To her surprise, Hermione had found she quite enjoyed spending time with him, even if he did still try to find ways to distract her from said homework.

The two of them occasionally would play Gobstones and Exploding Snap, which Sirius seemed rather fond of. One afternoon, they had even decided to use the Exploding Snaps cards to try to build a large castle of cards in the Potters’ study. Hermione had found it rather frustrating when the tower they had just finished building randomly exploded. Apparently Sirius had thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

“I’m just shocked you aren’t writing to Remus,” said Sirius, finishing his last sandwich. He put the empty plate down on the coffee table and threw his leg over the arm of the chair.

“Well, an owl did show up from Remus this morning with letters for all of us. I already sent Archimedes back with a response, he should be back shortly. Yours and James’s are on the table by the front door,” she said, gesturing to the door leading into the entryway.

“Brilliant!” said Sirius, jumping up from the armchair.

Hermione assumed he was going to retrieve his letter, but instead he walked over to the couch and flopped down next to Hermione. She eyed him suspiciously and carefully closed her journal.

“What are you doing?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

Sighing dramatically, Sirius leaned heavily into the back of the couch. He pulled one of his legs up and cross it over his other knee before sinking farther into the couch.

“I miss James,” he said, adding in another sigh for theatrical effect.

Hermione smirked and shook her head.

“I’m sure he’ll be back in a few hours. Then the two of you can go off and do whatever you do.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re here. If not, this holiday would be proper boring,” he mumbled.

The comment moved her, and she smiled warmly at him.

“Thank you, Sirius, that’s very kind of you to say. I’m glad you both let me come stay with you, I’ve been enjoying it.”

Still laying against the back of the couch, Sirius turned his head towards her and let it rest on his own shoulder as he looked up at Hermione.

“Are you going to be alright tomorrow when James and I go to Remus’s?”

Her heart sank at the thought of being left behind, but she put on a brave face.

“Yes, I’ll be fine. But are you sure I can’t go? Obviously I won’t be there during the actual transformation… but I could be around for the before and after?”

Sirius sat up straight and looked at her. “You know it wouldn’t be safe. He’d have our heads if you were anywhere near.”

“Yeah…” Hermione said with a sigh, turning to look straight ahead at the fire. She had already known the answer, but it still stung regardless.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she could tell that Sirius was now staring at her rather intently. He seemed conflicted and almost hesitant, as if he was torn on whether or not to say something else.

“You care about him a great deal, don’t you,” he said slowly.

It didn’t sound like a question and she turned back to look at him curiously. His brows were furrowed and there was a sad smile on his face.

“Of course I do,” she said, waiting for some sort of catch.

Sirius leaned back into the couch and looked up at the ceiling.

“You know, sometimes I just can’t figure out why you’re doing all this for him,” he said casually. “The sneaking around, the stealing, trying to learn illegal magic… All for some guy you only met seven months ago.”

“He’s not ‘some guy’, he’s my friend,” Hermione said simply. She could hear the edge in her own voice and she forced herself not to sound defensive. “And sometimes rules need to be broken to help the people you care about or to do the right thing.”

“That’s all?” Sirius asked skeptically.

It felt like something was sinking in her stomach and Hermione bent forward to place the journal on the coffee table before shifting slightly on the couch to look at him better.

“What do you mean ‘that’s all’?” Hermione asked.

“You know… that maybe you have other reasons?”

Hermione regarded him carefully, wondering where he was going with this. After everything they’ve been through, she hoped there wasn’t still any doubt or suspicions about why she ‘transferred’ to Hogwarts. But if that were the case, why invite her to come stay with them and help her with animagus preparations?

“And what would those reasons be?” she asked delicately, bracing herself for whatever was to come.

“That you like him,” Sirius said simply. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye quickly before looking back up at the ceiling. “You know… like, more than a friend.”

It felt like Hermione’s heart stopped.

“What?” she managed to breathe out.

“I just mean that it’s an awful big risk to take for someone who is just a friend,” Sirius said as Hermione sat frozen. “And you’re always sneaking off with him…”

“To study,” interrupted Hermione. “Something you and James don’t seem to be a fan of doing.”

“But it just seems odd,” shrugged Sirius.

“It’s not odd for a girl to be good friends with boys,” defended Hermione, hearing her voice go up an octave as she spook very quickly. “I’d consider myself good friends with both you and James, do you think I have feelings for either of you?”

“Well, no…”

“There you have it then,” she huffed. “Besides, you already knew that my two best friends before I came here were also guys.”

“Yeah, and you liked one of them, didn’t you?”

The statement caught her off guard. Sirius had her there. Who would have thought Sirius Black would be as attentive and as good of a listener as he was? If this was any other conversation, she’d have been impressed that he knew her so well at that point. Instead, Hermione just felt embarrassed.

Either way, Sirius was still wrong. Ron had at least been an option. There were no options for her while she was stuck in the past. It was not something she could even allow herself to consider.

“That… was different…” she said quietly. Her hands went to the hair resting on her shoulder and she pulled wild strands around her face, trying to conceal the blush she could feel starting to form.

“If you did, your secret would be safe with me,” said Sirius indifferently, almost too casually as he continued to avoid eye contact.

Hermione glowered at him. Maybe getting to spend so much time with him the past week had been a bad idea. Now he seemed to think he was entitled to her private life for some reason.

“We’re friends,” Hermione emphasized. “Just like you, James, and Peter wanting to become animagi too. How is it any different? Unless you, James, and Peter have something to confess…”

His gaze returned to her and he stared at her momentarily before he burst out laughing. Hermione looked at him with confusion. It hadn’t been that funny. It hadn’t even been meant to be funny at all.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“It’s nothing,” laughed Sirius, wiping at his eyes as he grinned ear to ear. “You just sounded just like— it’s nothing.”

He continued to laugh and Hermione pursed her lips at him, resenting being left out of the joke.

“Look, I just want to be there in the same way you all do,” she said with a tone of finality, causing Sirius to calm down. “He’s the best friend I’ve ever had.”

Just saying it out loud made her miss Remus even more. As much as she loved both Harry and Ron terribly, there was just something that felt so much deeper with Remus. He seemed to understand her in ways neither Harry nor Ron ever had. Or at least he was better at showing how much he got her. Perhaps it had been easier to really get to know Remus since they didn’t have to spend all school year trying to solve mysteries or stop dark wizards, like she always seemed to have to do in her own time. She, Harry, and Ron had become bound by adventure. Instead, there had been time for her to build a strong kinship with Remus.

She thought of all the nights she had spent studying with Remus, either in that classroom or in their room. All the nights they just talked together. She didn’t think anyone other than Remus would have thought to remember her favorite scents for the candles, or even think up new ones like the scent of her favorite tea. Nobody had ever truly paid attention to all the little things she said and took them into consideration like that before. And nobody else had ever shared her passion for books and learning about magic and never teased her for it. Even after such a short amount of time knowing him, Hermione believed her probably understood her more than even her friends in her own time. Aside from her obvious hidden secrets… He truly was her best friend.

Sirius was now looking at her rather intently, as if he were trying to read her mind. She stared back at him, doing her best to keep her emotions in check.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

Hermione’s head and heart were both still racing and all she could manage was a firm nod. They were in fact, just friends. The smile slowly fell from Sirius’s face and Hermione’s heart leapt, hoping he would finally believe her and leave it alone.

“If you say so,” Sirius said with a sigh, and Hermione internally sighed herself.

He put his leg back on the ground and pushed himself off the couch. “I guess I’ll go get my letter. Moony’s probably mad because I haven’t written him yet this whole break.”

His comment brought some sense back to her and Hermione gaped at him.

“Sirius! It’s been a week, you should write him back!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius said with a laugh. “I’ll go write Moony back now, don’t worry. I should probably write to Doris too… she’s written a few times…”

He grumbled a bit and started across the room. He stopped at the door and turned back towards her. “When I’m done do you want to go play Gobstones outside?”

“Sure, that sounds nice,” she said with a small smile. “And then afterwards we can work on McGonagall’s essay.”

Sirius groaned. “Okay, but we wait for Prongs to get back for that. If I have to suffer then so does he.”

“Deal,” she agreed.

As he left, Hermione reached forward and picked up the journal again from the coffee table. She sat there, gripping the book she one day hoped to give to Harry with a million complicated thoughts now swimming through her mind.

Instead of continuing what she had been writing, she got up and left the sitting room, making her way back upstairs. Her own journal was buried in her trunk, and she began to dig through to find it, suddenly having thoughts of her own that she needed to write about.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

The afternoon following the full moon, Hermione was sitting at the desk in her room. A warm spring breeze was coming in through the open window and Hermione was quickly scribbling a letter to Remus, already asking how he was feeling post-transformation. She could only hope he was recovering well from the comfort of his own home. The day before had been the only day since break started that she hadn’t received a letter from him and she couldn’t help but worry, even though she knew he had been prepping for his transformation and that James and Sirius had been with him.

James and Sirius had still not yet returned from Remus’s house and Hermione had to will herself not to feel jealous that they got to see him while she was there all alone. What did make her feel better though, was knowing she was about to be finished with the mandrake leaf and moving onto the next step to become an animagus. One step closer to never being left behind on a full moon again.

It wasn’t until late afternoon that there was a soft knock on her door. When Hermione crossed the room and opened the door, she was greeted with a grinning James and Sirius.

“How’s Remus?” Hermione asked immediately, her heart pounding in her chest.

“He’s fine,” said Sirius waving his hand dismissively. “When we left he was already writing you a bloody letter.”

“Was he?” asked Hermione, feeling her stomach tighten and her face go warm as she beamed. “I just sent him one not long ago!”

He was okay, he was already writing her…

“He was,” nodded James with a small grin. “But that’s not all…”

“It’s time!” sang Sirius as he finished James’s sentence and Hermione’s grin grew even wider.

They had to wait until closer to nightfall, when there would be a better formation of dew outside for them to collect for the potion. When dinner ended, Fleamont and Euphemia retired to the sitting room for tea, and Hermione, James, and Sirius quietly made their way to their rooms.

Her trunk laid at the foot of the bed and Hermione quickly rummaged through it until she found a ball of rolled up socks. She unrolled them and pulled out the small bottle with the chrysalis of the death’s-head hawk moth in it that she had stored for safekeeping. There was now also a curly brown strand of her hair that she added as well. Gripping it in her hand, she made her way into the corridor and hurried towards James’s room just as James and Sirius were exiting it.

There was something clear and shiny in James’s hand and he grinned and held it up when he noticed her.

It was most beautiful phial Hermione had ever laid eyes on. It was small, but it had to be made from the clearest crystal she had ever seen. As James held it up, it began reflecting light from the gas lamps on the walls and cast rainbow lights across the corridor.

“This is what the potion has to be made in. Don’t worry,” said James as Hermione opened her mouth to ask if it was the right kind. “It’s the same crystal phial we all used, so it should work.”

Hermione nodded and pulled the stopper off of the small bottle in her hands and tipped the chrysalis and her strand of hair into the crystal phial in James’s hand.

“Time for the leaf,” said Sirius.

This was the moment Hermione had been waiting for, to rid herself of the dreadful mandrake leaf. With a tap of her wand, Hermione reversed the sticking charm and immediately felt the leaf shift under her tongue. Its movement brought back the disgusting taste and Hermione’s face wrinkled up as she grimaced. Quickly, she spat the disgusting shriveled leaf out into her hand, trying not to gag.

“Gross,” said Sirius, and Hermione sent him a stern look, even if she did happen to agree with him.

Gently, she picked up the soggy leaf and dropped it in into the phial, right on top of the death’s-head hawk moth chrysalis and her hair.

“Okay… so chrysalis… your hair… mandrake leaf… now all we need is the teaspoon of dew,” said James, holding the phial up to his eyes and looking into it.

“And we know just where to get it,” grinned Sirius. “And you aren’t going to like it.”

“Why’s that?” Hermione asked nervously.

Sirius and James exchanged a grin.

The three of them silently made their way back down the stairs. There was the soft sound of the record player coming from down the corridor and James quickly ushered them out the back door and into the garden.

The cool evening air felt nice, and Hermione stared out at the lake as the sun began to set. It was very picturesque as the low sun reflected in the ripples on the water’s surface. The sky in the front of them was still a light blue with streaks of yellow and purple, but behind them it was a deeper indigo, with the trees beginning to look silhouetted against the darkening sky. They’d have to hurry if they wanted to finish before dark.

“Head down to the lake, I’ll meet you there,” said James, and he began making his way towards the shed.

“Why does James want us to go down by the lake?” Hermione asked Sirius as the two of them began walking down the slope towards the lake bank.

Sirius squinted ahead and pointed out towards the water. “There’s a bit of land out in the lake. The dew can’t have been touched by sunlight or human feet, and there’s no way anyone has set foot there in seven days, so it’s perfect.”

Hermione would have been impressed if she hadn’t been simultaneously hit with a feeling of dread as she looked out at the still water.

“Please tell me James is finding us a rowboat,” Hermione moaned.

“Not quite,” said James’s voice, and Hermione turned to watch him coming down the hill holding three broomsticks. “Sorry, we didn’t have any boats lying around.”

“Oh no, no no no no,” stammered Hermione as James tried to hand her a broomstick. “You know I hate flying!”

“Hermione, there’s no way to get to where we need by walking, this is the only way,” said James, still trying to hand her the broomstick as she shook her head frantically at him.

“Can’t we swim it?” she asked desperately.

“You’d rather swim the length of this bloody lake than get on the back of a broom?” asked Sirius. “It’s April! The water is going to be freezing…”

“I think you seriously underestimate how much I hate flying,” said Hermione, locking her eyes on the still water in front of her. “Brooms don’t agree with me, I’ll end up in the water either way.”

“Would you feel better if you flew with one of us rather than on your own?” asked James.

Hermione took a moment to deliberate. A part of her still would have rather swam, or found a boat, but having someone else in control of the broom definitely was safer than her trying to fly it herself.

“Alright fine,” conceded Hermione. “But I’m going with James.” She turned and pointed at Sirius. “If I go with you, I know you’ll pull some tricks and I’ll probably end up in the lake anyway.”

Sirius grinned widely at her. “You know me so well.”

“After this week, maybe too well,” she said with a small sigh.

“Oh you know you love me,” Sirius said with glee.

Hermione grumbled.

“Alright let’s go,” said James. He tossed one of the broomsticks to Sirius who caught it effortlessly and discarded the extra broomstick into the grass. Swinging his leg around his broom, James cocked his head towards Hermione. “Hop on.”

There was nothing else she could find to say to protest, so Hermione copied James and hesitantly swung her leg over the broom.

“You might want to hold on,” said James, bending his knees.

As the broom lowered, Hermione wrapped her arms around James’s middle and held on with all her might as she tightly shut her eyes. She could feel James silently laughing against her. Without warning, James kicked off the ground and suddenly Hermione’s legs were dangling below her. A small shriek escaped her lips and she held onto James for dear life, pressing her cheek into his back to better balance herself.

James really was a good flyer. Unlike what she had expected Sirius to do, it seemed like James was taking great care to keep the broom at an even level rather than show off what he could do. She still didn’t open her eyes.

As they flew, Hermione focused on the feeling of the wind rushing through her hair as she heard Sirius whooping from somewhere near them. It felt like an eternity, and Hermione found herself wishing to be back on solid ground. It wasn’t until the broom came to a slow and steady stop that Hermione peeked through her eyelids.

There was a small island in front of them. Where the land met the water was covered in dirt and mud, but the island itself was covered in lush green grass with bushes and small trees taking up most of the space.

Then she looked down. They were hovering slightly over the still water, and at the sight of it, Hermione’s stomach tightened. So did her arms and James let out a groan.

“Too tight, Hermione,” he breathed out.

“Sorry!”

She immediately loosened her grip on him but refused to unlock her hands that were around his front.

“Hermione, you’re going to have to hold onto the broom handle,” said James, doing his best to look at her over his shoulder. “I need to get the dew before we can touch the ground. It can’t have been touched by humans.”

“I-I don’t t-think I can let g-go,” stammered Hermione, looking down with wide eyes.

She could feel James sigh.

“Sirius, can you do it?”

“Yeah, sure thing, mate, I got it.”

James shifted slightly and pulled a silver teaspoon out of his pocket. In the process, the broom shook and Hermione whimpered. James tossed it over and Sirius caught it swiftly and flew in the direction James was pointing.

“Don’t let your feet touch the land,” called out James. “You know where our spot is!”

“I know, I know!”

Sirius flew above the trees and bushes before lowering to the ground until he disappeared behind the foliage.

“Your spot?” inquired Hermione to James.

“Yeah. Even before Sirius moved in, when he would visit with Peter and Remus we used to fly out to the island all the time. It was like our little getaway. Some summers we would ever try race by swimming,” explained James and Hermione could hear the smile in his voice at the memory. “Soon you’ll see what I mean by our spot.”

Moments later, Sirius flew back up above the trees so they could see him. With a brilliant grin, he triumphantly held up the spoon.

“Safe to land!” he called out, before lowering back down and out of sight again.

Once James touched down of the ground, he helped a trembling Hermione off the broom and onto the island.

The island was very small, and it didn’t take them long to find Sirius leaning against a tree with a thick trunk, holding the teaspoon in one hand and the handle of the broomstick in the other.

“Glad to be out of the clouds, Hermione?” he grinned as they approached.

“Oh you have no idea…”

James walked up to Sirius holding the crystal phial and Hermione watched as Sirius tipped over the spoon and a small amount of clear liquid trickled down the sides. James looked at it approvingly and then he squatted down beside the tree.

“The Whomping Willow isn’t the only tree with secrets,” said James with a smirk.

He pushed away some leaves and branches from the base of the trunk and Hermione noticed that there was a hole in the tree, as if someone had hollowed out a part of it.

“You cut a hole in a tree?” gasped Hermione, looking at James and Sirius disapprovingly.

“Save the house-elves, save the trees…” said Sirius in a high-pitched voice, seemingly trying to mimic her tone. “Hermione Dawson, everyone!”

Hermione pursed her lips at Sirius who was shaking his head in disbelief.

“I may have told him about your house elf rant from the Christmas party,” said James slowly, looking between the two of them, seeming somewhat apologetic.

“You act as though those are bad values to have,” said Hermione, crossing her arms.

“I never said that,” defended Sirius quickly. “But if it makes you feel better, the tree was already dying. There was already a hole and we just… made it bigger.”

Somehow that did make her feel a bit better, but she did still feel bad for the tree.

“We would always hide things in here,” explained James, leaning over and putting his arm that held the phial into the hole of the tree.

He shifted his arm around, most likely finding a place for it to sit comfortably. When he finished, he moved the leaves and branches back before straightening back up, rubbing his hands together to clear them of dirt.

“I understand why we came out here for the dew, but if we hide it out here then we’ll have to come back out here,” said Hermione with an annoyed tone. “Why can’t we keep it in the house?”

“You saw what that book said, Hermione,” said James. “It has to be in a quiet, dark, place. Quiet.”

“Doesn’t ‘quiet place’ just refer to a place where the potion won’t be disturbed?” questioned Hermione. “Not literally ‘quiet’ as in silent.”

“Magic is weird, it might actually need silence. But if you want to risk keeping it in the house…” said Sirius, his lip twitching upwards. “And it’s not like anyone is going to disturb it out here anyway.”

“Okay, okay, I see your point…” said Hermione, biting her lip. “But will it be safe when storms come through?”

“It should be safe. And if anything, it’s like a rite of passage now,” grinned James. “This is where me, Sirius, and Peter stored our potions too.”

“Then I suppose it’s okay…” muttered Hermione.

“Then we’re all set!” said James. “We should head back, the sun is almost set.”

The flight back wasn’t nearly as bad as flying the island now that Hermione knew what to expect. Still, she kept her grip on James tight and her eyes firmly shut, waiting for it to be over.

James landed softly just on the edge of the water and pried Hermione’s hands from his middle. Flushing slightly, Hermione let her feet hit solid ground and it relished in the contact.

“Okay you need to start the spell now,” said James, helping Hermione off of the broom. He was eyeing the darkening sky over the water nervously. “Every sunrise and sunset you have to press the tip of your wand to your heart and say the incantation ‘Amato Animo Animato Animagus’. It’s the only thing left to do before the lightning storm.”

“Got it,” said Hermione.

“Eventually you’ll sense a second heartbeat,” added Sirius. “But not right away.”

With a nod, Hermione pulled out her wand and held the tip to her chest, right above her heart, which was beating very rapidly.

Taking a deep breath, she murmured the incantation, “Amato Animo Animato Animagus…”

A moment passed as she waited, but nothing happened.

But Hermione knew that there was plenty of time for a second heartbeat to appear. They would just have to wait for lightning to strike.

Chapter Text

Chapter 27 - Flourish and Blotts

The last day of Easter holiday was very overcast. The air smelled thick with rain and everything seemed as if it were coated in a shade of grey. It was a cool and wet morning, and Hermione was sitting on a bench in the Potters’ back garden, surrounded by blooming spring flowers. It was very quaint as she sat with book in one hand and a cup of tea in the other, looking out over the lake in the distance. Everything in front of her was still and asleep and Hermione couldn’t help but feel like she was in her own little world as she sipped the warm spices in her drink.

Unfortunately, her peace didn’t last very long. Every day that week, James and Sirius had slept until sometime past noon, but apparently that day they had chosen to rise early because James walked out of his back door and quickly spotted Hermione. He was still wearing his pajamas: an old grey t-shirt with some Quidditch team on it, baggy maroon trousers, and grey slippers.

“Mornin’,” he said with a yawn. “How long have you been up?” He took off his large rectangular glasses temporarily to rub his eyes before lazily replacing them on his face.

“For about three hours,” said Hermione. She moved over on the bench to make room for James and he crossed the garden and sat beside her. “Why are you awake?”

It was a little past ten now, which was early for James’s standards and especially for Sirius’s.

“Sirius and I decided that we weren’t going to waste the last day of holiday by sleeping all day,” he said with a sleepy grin.

Hermione gave a short laugh. “So, you’re going to be productive members of society today! I’m impressed.” She looked behind her at the house. “So, where’s Sirius? Is he awake?”

“Probably inhaling the fry up my mum made. He was eating like a stray dog that hadn’t seen a meal in weeks,” said James with a smirk and Hermione shook her head and smiled at his joke.

“So what are your plans for the day if you don’t actually intend on spending it asleep?” teased Hermione.

“We’re going to Diagon Alley,” he said cheerfully.

This took Hermione by surprise and she looked at him curiously.

“Oh! Is there any particular reason you and Sirius are going or is it to just get out of the house?”

An impish smile appeared on James’s face and Hermione’s curiosity quickly turned into suspicion.

“Oh, Hermione… you misunderstand me. When I say ‘we’ it obviously means including you!” he grinned. “And to think that I always took you as a bright witch…”

“Do I not get a say in this?” asked Hermione, raising her eyebrow but fighting a small smile.

James blinked and smiled at her. “Do you remember saying that to me at the end of the first week of classes back in September? We barely knew each other, and you had been avoiding us, so I basically forced you and Lily to join us for dinner.”

Hermione smiled at him as she fondly thought back to the interaction in the courtyard that took place many months ago. It almost seemed unreal how long she had been in this time, and how much everything had changed.

“Of course I do, that’s why I said it,” she said. “It’s unbelievable to think how that was only – what? Seven months ago?”

“Yeah, a lot sure has changed in the past seven months,” he agreed.

“Oh you have no idea,” said Hermione softly with a smile.

“So… you are coming to Diagon Alley, right?” asked James.

“I’d love to go with you and Sirius to Diagon Alley. It’ll be nice,” said Hermione with a smile.

“Excellent!” beamed James. “That works out perfectly because we’re also meeting Peter and Remus for lunch during Remus’s break at Flourish and Blotts.”

She couldn’t help the smile on her face at the idea of getting to see Remus a day earlier than expected.

“It’s a shame he has to work during holidays,” said Hermione. “He could use the time to relax from everything.”

James shrugged.

“He says he needs the extra money,” he said and he rubbed his fingers together in a way to make it seem like there were invisible coins between them. “He’s a bloody overachiever if you ask me.”

A little over an hour later, James, Sirius, and Hermione were standing by the fire in the Potters’ study. One after the other, they said their goodbyes to Euphemia and Fleamont and stepped into the fireplace to floo to Diagon Alley.

Even though it was still incredibly overcast, Diagon Alley seemed to light up the day. The shops were full of life and there was crowds of witches and wizards in colorful robes. It was her first time being in Diagon Alley since she landed herself in the past yet everything still somehow managed to look the same. It was comforting in a way.

“Where are we meeting Remus and Peter for lunch?” asked Hermione, looking over at the two boys.

“Well, Moony doesn’t get off of work for another hour so we have time,” said Sirius.

“An hour? You didn’t tell me that! What are we doing until then?” she demanded, glaring at them for leaving that bit of information out.

“Well, Prongs and I are headed over to Quality Quidditch Supplies,” said Sirius with a grin.

“They’ve just released a prototype of the Nimbus 1500!” beamed James. “You are welcomed to join us, of course. We don’t plan on abandoning you.”

Hermione sighed. Some things never changed.

“You guys go along. I don’t want to ruin your fun. There’s some things I should get anyway,” she said. After all, they knew how uninterested in Quidditch she was.

“Are you sure?” asked James, clearly just trying to be polite, and Hermione nodded. “Then we’ll meet back here in front of Eeylops Owl Emporium in an hour and then pick up Moony and find Wormtail for lunch. Does that sound good?”

“Sounds great,” smiled Hermione.

The two boys departed down the alley towards Quality Quidditch Supplies but Hermione set off in the opposite direction towards Flourish and Blotts. A part of her wondered if maybe, just maybe they’d have any new books on time travel. She’d fallen way behind on her research with everything else going on. Now that she had finished all the steps she could in preparation for the animagus potion, she might as well fill her extra time with more research. It couldn’t hurt to just check.

More importantly, she was excited to see Remus. It had only been two weeks since they had last seen each other and she missed his desperately, even if they had written nearly every day.

When Hermione pushed open the door to the bookshop a small bell dinged above her and she was immediately greeted with the scent of the store. She could smell the old leather-bound covers of first edition books as well as the crisp scent of new parchment. There was an earthiness to store, slightly musty with the rich aroma of old wooden bookshelves. It was a wonderful smell that brought her a great sense of comfort.

Flourish and Blotts was relatively empty compared to the rest of Diagon Alley. There was only an elderly wizard in the store so it didn’t take her long to find Remus. She spotted his sandy colored hair behind the front counter near the shop window. He had his back turned and was putting books on the display shelves behind the counter and organizing them carefully. Just the sight of the back of his head excited her.

Hermione quietly walked up to the counter, careful not to creak any of the wooden floorboards so he couldn’t hear her coming. With a light touch, she tapped the bell on the counter which let out a sharp ding!

Remus’s head snapped up and he turned around. When he saw her, he jumped a bit in the air.

Hermione grinned. “Surprise!”

His hand was over his heart and he let out a breath. The corner of his lip twitched upward and he looked her up and down.

“Blimey, Hermione!” said Remus who was now grinning as well. He quickly put down the books he was holding and rounded the counter, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace which she eagerly returned. Hermione could smell the vague scent of chocolate on him as he lifted her slightly in the air in a bone-shattering hug.

“You gave me something of a fright…” he said, and Hermione could hear the smile in his voice.

“I couldn’t resist,” laughed Hermione. Remus gently set her back down on the floor and she smiled warmly up at him, feeling her face flush.

She couldn’t stop grinning and her stomach was doing little flips from the excitement of seeing him again. It was unbelievable just how much she had missed her best friend.

“I’ve missed you,” he said, mirroring her thoughts.

“I’ve missed you as well. Too much actually. Staying with James and Sirius is exhausting without you to balance them out,” said Hermione, shaking her head with a smile.

“Ah, well, you know how they are,” he grinned.

Hermione sighed. “Unfortunately I do. It was still a nice time though. They really can be good company and so are James’s parents. But it’ll be nice for all of us to be together for lunch before we go back to Hogwarts tomorrow.”

“Where are we going for lunch?” he asked. “James just owled me late last night and didn’t give me any information other than getting lunch when I got off. There wasn’t even time to owl back.”

“Not a clue. I didn’t even know we planned on having lunch with you and Peter until right before we left,” she admitted.

Remus rolled his eyes. “That’s James and Sirius for you.”

Hermione grinned. “Yes it is.”

“So where are Padfoot and Prongs?” inquired Remus.

It was now Hermione’s turn to roll her eyes. “They’re over at Quality Quidditch Supplies looking at the new Nimbus 1500. While they’re off looking at wooden death traps, I decided to come over here to look at books and say hello to you.”

“Well, I’m glad you did, it’s slow right now and I’d never pass up the opportunity to talk to you, especially after not seeing each other all break. Owls just aren’t the same,” he gave her his crooked smile that she loved. “Any book in particular you’re looking for?”

She had completely forgotten what she had planned to check for until he asked.

“Oh, nothing in particular,” she said casually, trying not to sound suspicious. “I was just going to browse around and see if anything looked interesting. I’ll only be a moment!”

She left the counter and made her way through the many shelves of books. With the store being relatively empty, it didn’t take her long to venture through the cramped shelves. Unfortunately, there didn’t seem to be anything remotely related to time travel in the new release section. She continued through the store for a bit, hoping the tall shelves blocked her from view as she checked in other sections of the store, but also without any luck. Everything left on the shelves was something she had already read through at Hogwarts.

With a sigh, Hermione started back to the front counter. Maybe it was a good thing she couldn’t find anything. She hadn’t expected Remus to be working at the counter. If anything, she had expected him to be a stock boy. At least this way he would not have been able to see her buying books on time travel. There was no chance he wouldn’t be curious as to why she’d want to buy them.

As she made her way back to the front, she noticed that Remus, again, had his back turned and was continuing to put books on the shelves behind the counter. Hermione paused and silently watched him for a moment. He looked so peaceful and focused which brought a smile to Hermione’s face.

It was adorable.

Hermione gave her head a little shake and started walking back towards him.

“I don’t think there’s anything I’ll get this time,” she said as she approached the counter again.

Remus turned around and gave her a small frown. “Really? Is there something you wanted that we’re out of? I could order it and have it sent to Hogwarts for you.”

Hermione waved her hand casually. “Oh, don’t bother. Nothing important, but thanks for the offer.”

“If you say so,” he shrugged as he put another book on the shelf.

“I should let you get back to work, I need to buy a few things before we head back to Hogwarts tomorrow anyway,” said Hermione.

Remus looked visibly disappointed. “Oh, alright. I get off of work in about—” he looked down at his wristwatch, “—forty minutes. Then we’ll go to lunch with the others.”

Hermione smiled. “Sounds like a plan.”

Hermione spent the rest of her time roaming throughout Diagon Alley and stopping in stores. A good portion of her time was spent at Scribbulus Writing Instruments where she purchased new quills and other stationary items. Another shop that she spent a decent amount of time in was Slug & Jiggers Apothecary so she could refill her potions ingredients.

After half an hour passed, Hermione was completely bored. There had been no sighting of Sirius or James since they most likely had not stopped staring at that bloody broomstick.

The sky was darkening even more as more clouds began to set in. The last thing she wanted to do was to stand outside Eeylops Owl Emporium for another ten minutes just to get rained on, and she certainly did not want to go into a shop full of Quidditch crazed boys. Instead, Hermione decided to walk back towards Flourish and Blotts to wait there for the remainder of Remus’s shift. She would just have to walk back to their meeting spot with Remus.

As Hermione approached the store, she noticed through the large glass window that it was no longer empty. Not at all.

A blonde girl, that Hermione quickly recognized as Claudia from Hufflepuff, was standing close to Remus, leaning casually against the counter. Even from the street, Hermione could see the way Claudia looked at him through her lashes. There was a shy but coy smile on her face as she twirled a lock of her hair with her finger as she spoke, which appeared almost nervously. Being behind the glass, Hermione couldn’t hear what she was saying, but whatever it was caused Remus to laugh and Claudia playfully pushed on his shoulder and laughed too.

Some force had come out of nowhere and it felt as though it had punched Hermione in the stomach, causing her to drop her bag of new quills, parchment, and potion ingredients. The bag fell to the cobbled ground with a thump by her feet. There was the sound of glass clanking together but Hermione didn’t even bother to check if anything had broken. Her throat felt clogged and she thought she was going to be sick.

She had tried so hard to deny to everyone, including herself, that she had feelings for Remus. They were only just friends. The idea of him had floated through her mind ever since she had smelled the Amortentia, but of course, she had tried to find any other excuse for that. Smelling chocolate could have meant anything, it wasn’t as if she had smelled his cologne or shampoo or something specific to him. And there had to be other logical explanations as to why she got so excited to see him, or how her stomach would do little flips when he walked into rooms or when he gave her a crooked smile, or why she missed him so much when he wasn’t around. They were friends after all, nothing more. It would have been too inappropriate given her situation to be anything else. She had settled for just being best friends with him, not in love.

In love!

Her stomach lurched, and she pulled herself out of view of the window, unable to look at Remus and Claudia.

But no, it couldn’t be love… that would be ridiculous! She would have known if she were in love… It was simply just a crush… a silly, misguided, and inappropriate crush…

Yet, never could she have imagined how strong her feelings were in that very moment. She felt beyond hurt. Beyond jealous.

She felt broken.

It took her a moment to gather herself and force herself to breathe steadily. With a trembling lip, she grabbed her fallen bag off of the cobbled alley ground and turned straight around, willing herself not to cry.

How could she have been so stupid? Of course Remus would have girlfriends. He was a teenager for Merlin’s sake! And one who was kind, brave… smart… not to mention rather good-looking—

No! she scolded herself in her head, giving it a little shake as she walked numbly down the alley.

She was going to go back to 1996. She was going to go home. She was supposed to go home…

She kept replaying those words in her head, chanting them over and over to remind herself of her priorities.

It wasn’t as though her feelings mattered anyway; Remus obviously would never have ended up with her even if she wanted them to. She was just a transplant in this time. A transplant that wasn’t the correct match, one that the host would soon reject because she didn’t really belong. Not to mention how wrong and misplaced her feelings for him were…

Even if she did belong there, why would he want a know-it-all, bookworm full of secrets like herself when he could have the gorgeous, kind, and honest Claudia? She couldn’t even hate the girl because she liked her so much! How unfair.

All she could think of was how stupid she had been. After Valentine’s Day, Claudia had been so upset that she hadn’t been asked to Hogsmeade. She had even told Hermione that she thought the boy she liked was spoken for but then went to Hogsmeade just with his friends. Hadn’t she stayed back with James all day while Remus had gone with Sirius and Peter? Dirk must not have been the only one to think she and Remus were a couple because they were so close, Claudia must have had the same thought. And then Hermione went and told her to make the first move! The pain she was feeling was her own fault for letting her feelings get the best of her and for being so blind and foolish.

Her stomach gave another uncomfortable lurch and once again she felt like she would be sick. It was as though someone had sent a bludger flying at her but instead of hitting her once, it managed to hit her in both her stomach and her heart over and over again.

Hermione internally groaned. Now she was even thinking in Quidditch metaphors, which really made her realize she was slowly losing her mind.

As she continued walking through the crowds, she felt something wet hit her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. She knew she was tearful, but had she actually started crying right there in Diagon Alley? How pathetic. But then another droplet hit the top of her head and she looked up at the dark grey sky. It had started to drizzle. So she wasn’t crying after all.

Well, Hermione might have to admit that it was probably a mix of both.

Brilliant. Even the weather had decided to taunt her. It was like a scene out of a bad 80’s movie. A living cliché.

She didn’t know where she planned on walking; she just wanted to get out of there. It wasn’t until she heard someone call her name when she stopped. She looked around and saw Sirius walking towards her. He got one glance of her expression and his brilliant grin fell from his face.

“Hermione?” he asked as he walked towards her looking concerned. When he arrived next to her he quickly wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Mione, what’s the matter? Is something wrong?”

Hermione gave a shaky laugh and tried her best to put on a brave face. “I’m okay. I’m just… not feeling so well suddenly,” she said hastily. She gave a quick cough to cover the tightness in her throat. “I-I’ll be fine. Where’s James? I thought you were looking at broomsticks together.”

“He spotted Lily with her friends Alice and Marlene in Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour and went in to say hi…” Sirius said with a frown, removing his arm from her and taking a step backwards. “I came to look for you to tell you that he’s taking his sweet old time meeting us. Are you sure you’re okay?”

He looked nervous as he stared at Hermione, probably not knowing how to handle a girl in an unstable state.

“Honestly, Sirius, I’m fine” she said, forcing a smile. “I just feel a little under the weather.”

He looked a little skeptical but must have decided not to press the issue any further. “Is that a pun on the rain?” he said with a small grin, obviously trying to cheer her up.

Hermione looked back up at the sky and saw that the light drizzle seemed to have stopped as quickly as it had started.

“Seeing as the rain has now stopped, I’m going to go with no,” she said as she looked back towards Sirius who was frowning again. “I think I’m actually going to go…”

“What?” asked Sirius, looking aghast. “Go where?”

“Back to the Potters’,” said Hermione softly. “I really don’t feel so well. I should probably rest before we head back to Hogwarts tomorrow anyway. Not to mention, I still need to finish packing…”

“What about lunch?” he exclaimed with wide eyes. “We’re meeting Remus!”

Hearing Remus’s name was like another blow to her stomach and she struggled not to wince.

“On second thought, you really don’t look so great…” he said as he looked her up and down. “No offense...”

“I’m sorry. You guys should go and have lunch though, don’t let me hold you back from your fun,” said Hermione with a weak smile. “I’ll just find a shop to floo back from…”

“At least let me walk you,” he insisted.

Hermione hesitated for a second before agreeing.

“You aren’t contagious are you?” he said with his eyebrow raised comically high.

Hermione gave a shaky laugh. “I doubt it,” she said but she was somewhat smiling. She could always count on Sirius to make her laugh.

“But are you sure you want to go back to the house, Mione?” he asked with worried eyes. “You seemed so excited for lunch with Remus.”

Another pang went through her chest. “I actually already saw him when I went to Flourish and Blotts earlier,” she said. “I’m sure he’ll understand…”

“Yeah… I guess he would… If anyone would understand it would be Moony,” said Sirius, frowning slightly. “It won’t be the same without you, though.”

Hermione didn’t say anything but instead gave him a sad smile.

They walked a little further up the street before Sirius stopped dead in his tracks and Hermione bumped into him. “Wha—” she started before she looked ahead and followed Sirius’s gaze.

His eyes were following a tall woman who was walking out of a shop ahead of them. She had dark hair and eyes and had a look about her that was both unpleasant yet hauntingly beautiful at the same time. Hermione instantly recognized Walburga Black from her screaming portrait in Grimmauld Place. Trailing behind her was a sulking Regulus who looked like he’d rather be anywhere but there.

There was a dark look on Sirius’s face as he regarded his mother and brother, but then something in his expression changed and he forced a mischievous grin on his face.

“Well isn’t it my darling mother and my baby brother, Reggie!” called Sirius, rather loudly.

Hermione sent him a nervous glance as Walburga’s eyes snapped in their direction and narrowed considerably. Regulus couldn’t decide whether to look at his mother or at Sirius so he settled on just staring at the cobbled path at his feet. Hermione had a bad feeling about what would happen next.

Sirius took a few steps closer to his disowned family and Hermione reluctantly followed close behind him.

“Dearest mother! It’s been far too long, hasn’t it?” said Sirius at the same loud volume.

“You are no son of mine,” she said back icily. “Not anymore. And certainly not according to the tree.”

“Oh mother… So dramatic! You always were a jokester!” He gave a horribly fake laugh and Hermione gave him a nudge to try to warn him to settle down.

Walburga’s glare shifted from Sirius to Hermione’s half hidden figure behind him. Sirius turned and looked down at Hermione with wide eyes as if he had completely forgotten she was there.

“Where are my manners?” he said, turning back to his mother with a huge grin as she glared at him. “Mother, you’ve never met my good friend, Hermione! She’s one of your favorite type of people!”

“Sirius, what are you doing?” demanded Hermione under her breath. People were now beginning to watch the altercation between the Blacks and it was incredibly uncomfortable. All she wanted to do was get back to her room at the Potters’ and disappear under the covers in her bed.

Sirius completely ignored Hermione. “She’s a muggle-born, you see!” he fake whispered loudly enough so everyone could hear.

Walburga Black looked at Hermione as if for the first time with a look of the utmost disgust in her eyes. She was mumbling something that sounded like “blood-traitor”, and “besmirching the name of the good house of Black”.

“Oh don’t worry, mother. I’m just joking with you. She’s not my good friend,” laughed Sirius. He turned towards Hermione and there was a gleam in his eyes that made her immediately wish she wasn’t standing so close to him. He gave her a quick wink, “She’s my girlfriend!”

Before Hermione could move away, Sirius took one more glance at his mother and pulled Hermione towards him. It took her a second too long to realize what was about to happen. Hermione let out a small squeak as he dipped her and pressed his lips to her own.

A surprised squeak escaped her as Sirius kissed her. His lips stayed firmly shut as he pressed them against hers, as if it were a stage kiss. But it was still just so wrong.

After he seemed to think it was a good enough show, he pulled her back up. Her head was reeling and through her dizziness, she saw the smug grin on Sirius’s face as he looked at his mother and brother.

Walburga Black’s expression was a mix between disgust and absolute outrage while Regulus’s mouth had fallen open in shock. Hermione felt like a mix between the two of them.

“We’re in love, you see,” said Sirius, completely unfazed from just kissing Hermione. “We plan on having a summer wedding as soon as we graduate from Hogwarts next year. Aren’t you excited for us to have half-blood children, mother? You’ll be a half-blood grandmother!” he said cheerfully.

Hermione and Regulus were both gaping at Sirius like he had gone mad as the onlookers around them murmured.

“Come, Regulus,” said Walburga, sending the nastiest of looks at Sirius and Hermione. “Let’s go home before we are contaminated by the filth.”

She spat the last word out and grabbed a reluctant Regulus’s arm, pulling him along with her. Regulus peered over his shoulder once looking confused before turning back to look ahead. The two Blacks walked out of sight and the onlookers looked away, pretending as if they hadn’t even seen the encounter.

“Well that was the highlight of my day!” said Sirius. He turned towards Hermione and burst out laughing when he saw her face.

Her hand was at her lips and she was staring forwards, not particularly focused on anything. A blush was burning against her cheeks and her mind was spinning very quickly. She couldn’t even think of one snarky remark to say to Sirius as she tried to come to terms with what had just happened, because logically none it made any sense. Had one of her best friends, and Harry’s godfather in the future, really just kissed her?

“Sorry about that,” grinned Sirius, pushing his hair out of his face in a way that made other girls fall into fits of giggles around him. “I hope you’re not too upset. Nothing would have given my mother a bigger shock.”

Yes. He had.

He was lucky. If she hadn’t been frozen in place and hadn’t still been trying to process that he had just kissed her, she would have slapped him. Hard.

He was also lucky that he hadn’t taken her first kiss. Although her time seeing Viktor hasn’t been too serious, Hermione would have cursed Sirius to oblivion for stealing that from her. Stage kiss or not.

Hermione quickly cleared her throat and dropped her hand back to her side, deciding that she would have all the time to just think about how odd and wrong the whole thing had been once she was alone back in her room.

“Well, where were we, then?” she said with a cough to clear her throat, acting as if nothing had happened.

Sirius raised an eyebrow and tilted his head at her. “What?”

“Are you still walking me to a floo or do I have to finish this journey unaccompanied?” she asked, not meeting his eyes.

That wiped the smile from Sirius’s face.

“So, you’re still leaving?” he asked.

“That was the plan…” she said, moving forward down the alley.

Sirius hurried up to walk beside her.

“Look, I’m sorry about that… my mother just gets in my head,” he mumbled. “You don’t have to go because of me, I can leave if you want.”

Hermione probably would have felt slightly bad for him, if she wasn’t already throwing herself her own internal pity party. It was the only thing keeping him safe from her wand for doing that to her without her permission.

“I was already planning on leaving before that anyway,” she said.

“What can I do to make it better?”

“For which one? How I’m feeling?” she asked curiously. “Or for what you just put me through?”

“Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad, was it?”

Hermione huffed and rolled her eyes.

“You embarrassed me in front of a crowd of people and then kissed me!”

“It wasn’t a real kiss!”

“Ugh, it’s like you want me to hit you,” sighed Hermione, starting to feel annoyed.

“If it makes you feel better, then go for it!” Sirius said almost too eagerly.

It almost worked. She almost cracked a smile at the thought of smacking him, but she was suddenly hit herself with why she was leaving in the first place. If anyone from this time was allowed to kiss her it wouldn’t have been Sirius, and the person she would have liked it to have been was off talking to a pretty girl he was much better off with.

Her body trembled slightly as she walked; the bottles in her shopping bags from the apothecary clanked together. Sirius seemed to notice this and he gripped her arm to steady her and Hermione looked up at him sadly.

“What else is wrong, Hermione?”

His voice and eyes were full of worry and it just made Hermione’s heart hurt more.

“I just need to go lay down.”

“Do you want me to go get James and we can all just go back together?”

“No, no, you should both go and see Remus and Peter. I’ll be fine,” she said, forcing her voice to stay steady even though just saying Remus’s name out loud felt like someone was pushing pins into her heart.

She was focusing so hard on trying not to cry that she had stopped paying attention to where they were walking until they stopped inside a shop she had never been in before. Sirius quietly led her over to a fireplace with a makeshift sign next to it that said “floo network location.”

Hermione stared at the fireplace sadly and she felt a nudge on her arm. She turned and looked down at Sirius’s hand which held his pouch of floo powder.

“Here,” he said pushing it towards her with a small frown on his face. “Since you don’t have your own.”

With a lump in her throat, Hermione took a handful of the silvery powder in the palm of her hand, feeling the dry grains tickle her skin.

“Tell the others I’m sorry,” she said in a small voice, trying to force a small smile on her face but it just wouldn’t fully form as she stepped into the fireplace. “I’ll see you back at the house later.”

Speaking as clearly as she could, she said the Potters’ residence and threw the powder down at her feet. Emerald green flames roared around her and she felt her hair flying in every direction as she was sucked through the fireplace. She had hoped the unsettling feeling of traveling by floo would distract her from the pain in her chest, but if anything, it just added on to that feeling of nausea that had settled in her stomach ever since she walked away from Flourish and Blotts.

As soon as she felt her feet hit the ground of the Potters’ study, Hermione hastily made her way up the stairs and into the little bedroom they had so graciously given her. The tightness in her chest was nearly unbearable as she dropped her bags into her open trunk and threw herself face first into her pillow just as a sob broke through her body.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

Sirius felt very conflicted as he walked towards Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour to find James. Letting Hermione go back alone left a bad taste in his mouth, especially after they just ran into his mother and he… well… fake kissed her.

That part she’d get over.

He hoped.

In that moment he was more concerned about her odd behavior. She really must not have been feeling well if she didn’t even retaliate after he used her to put on a show. Not to mention how she did look like she would be sick right there in the alley, both before and after the scene he had made.

When he got back to the ice cream shop, James wasn’t there anymore, but Sirius did give Lily, Marlene, and Alice a good-natured wave before heading back down the alley. James must have already gone to the pub they had agreed on or went to look for Remus. Great, now Sirius would have to wander around looking for everyone.

Sirius did, however, run into Peter coming out of a shop, dusting himself off from the floo travel. Together they walked through Diagon Alley on their way to the pub to find their other friends.

Surely enough, Sirius had been right. Sitting at one of the tables in the crowded pub was James and Remus. When the two of them spotted him and Peter, Remus grinned and waved them over.

“Sirius, where have you been? You never came back! I went looking for you and ended up finding Moony walking past shops looking like a lost puppy,” said James.

“Funnily enough, I ran into Wormtail while looking for you,” said Sirius, walking up to the table.

“Peter! It’s good to see you, mate. How was your holiday?” Remus asked as Peter and Sirius sat down across from him. “We missed you earlier in the week.”

“It was fine. Family was fine. Mum made really nice chocolate eggs for Easter. She made extra for you all that I’ll bring tomorrow for the train ride,” said Peter with a smile. “Sorry I couldn’t be there for your furry little problem.”

Remus waved him off good naturedly. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault.”

A barmaid then walked up to the table and placed down a tray of five butterbeers and Sirius frowned down at it as James and Remus grabbed drinks.

“Butterbeer? You do know we can get someone stronger right?” he said, taking hold of the handle of one of the glasses.

“Speak for yourself, I’m the only one not seventeen yet,” said Peter, taking his own glass.

Remus looked down at the single remaining glass left on the tray and then at the door to the pub.

“Where’s Hermione? James said you went to go find her,” he asked with a frown.

Sirius’s stomach dropped. This wasn’t going to go well.

“Er yeah, that’s what took me so long… I found her but had to walk her to a floo network location. Apparently she’s really sick and wanted to go back to the house.”

“She’s sick?” repeated Remus, already sounding worried. “But I just saw her! She came to see me in Flourish and Blotts earlier and seemed perfectly fine.”

“I don’t know, mate,” said Sirius, shaking his head. He himself wasn’t quite sure what was going on with her, he didn’t speak girl. “All I know is that something was definitely wrong. She was all clammy and shaky. Her face was kind of puffy too and she looked like she was going to spew at any moment.”

At his words, Remus seemed to pale. Sirius thought it was a bit of a dramatic reaction, it wasn’t as if Hermione was dying in the street.

“So you let her go home?” asked James. His tone was soft, and without accusation, which Sirius appreciated.

“Yeah I walked with her and then I offered to go back with her,” answered Sirius, but he wasn’t looking at James. Instead, he locked his gaze with Remus who he knew was the one who would really want to know what happened. Although Sirius specifically left out certain details of their journey. “She wouldn’t let me. She said she just wanted to rest and finish packing for tomorrow.”

“That’s so strange…” said Remus with a frown. “I saw her not even an hour ago and she was perfectly happy. She seemed excited, even. What could have changed?”

Sirius shrugged. “Beats me. Girls make no sense.”

“You say like the two of you weren’t super chummy all holiday anytime I was at Gwen’s,” laughed James, shaking his head.

“Is that so?” asked Remus wearily.

“Don’t look too into it, Moony,” said Sirius, detecting his tone. “We’re all chummy with Hermione.”

“Except me,” muttered Peter, drinking from his cup bitterly.

“Because if you liked her, I’d understand…” started Remus, not meeting his eye.

“Oh, don’t start,” groaned Sirius, rolling his eyes. “You’re the only one here who likes her. Like that, at least…”

“I mean, Sirius even said he wouldn’t date her a few months ago,” added Peter hastily. “Said she wasn’t much of a looker.”

He knew Peter had probably thought saying that would help, but Remus only looked at Sirius with a stunned expression.

“There’s more to people than just how they look,” said Remus, looking offended. “And Hermione is beautiful.”

“To each their own. Either way, looks are still important,” said Sirius. “Like look at Lily. I get why Prongs like her, she’s got the fiery hair and green eye contrast going for her, not to mention she has—”

“Careful there, Pads,” warned James.

Sirius dropped it and continued on. “And then obviously Doris has that dark temptress aura about her. Hell, even Macdonald is easy on the eyes! Hermione is just… kind of plain… I mean look at that hair!”

“There’s nothing wrong with her hair,” muttered Remus, not even looking at Sirius anymore. “Just because she doesn’t prioritize her appearance doesn’t mean she’s bad looking. She’s adorable and I love her hair, it suits her. Besides, she’s intelligent and understanding and caring and has an amazing personality, which is what matters the most.”

“What, like reading books all the time and talking about lessons? Don’t get me wrong, Hermione is great, but not someone I’d want to date. She’s like an annoying, nerdy sister,” explained Sirius. It was an oversimplification and Sirius knew it. But he really did like Hermione. A lot, actually. But to date? Absolutely not. “And Lily, Doris, and Macdonald aren’t just prioritizing their appearances. They’re just naturally hot.”

Two simultaneous blows came from under the table as both James and Remus kicked him.

“Ow!” said Sirius, reaching below and massaging his shins.” You must really fancy her,” he mumbled, throwing his hands up in front of him when he straightened back up.

“Hermione is beautiful,” said Remus.

“I mean, she’s no Claudia Mahoney,” said Sirius with annoyance.

Remus’s eyes snapped back to him.

“Why do you say that?”

There was an edge to his tone, and Sirius looked at him questionably. Both James and Peter must have noticed as well because they also looked at Remus as he began to flush.

“Because everyone knows she’s the best-looking girl in our year…” said Sirius. “What was that reaction?”

“What do you mean?”

“You got all defensive when he said Claudia’s name,” said Peter.

Remus hesitated. “Well… it’s just that she came into the shop earlier. I can’t really explain it, but I feel like she might have been coming on to me.”

Remus was now a brilliant shade of red and he quickly took another sip of his drink, trying to conceal his expression behind the glass.

“What?” gaped Sirius. “How do you know?”

“I don’t really know… I guess her body language?” he said slowly, tentatively putting his glass back on the table and looking around at the three of them uncomfortably.

“What was she doing?” asked James eagerly. “What did she say?”

“Well, I don’t want to speculate…”

“Come on!” said Peter.

“Spit it out, mate!” said Sirius.

“She was just standing really close to me, I guess,” Remus said with a shrug. “She was leaning on the counter that I was behind but also leaning towards me. Like, she was really close. And she was kind of playing with her hair a bit…”

James and Sirius both groaned and Remus and Peter blinked back at the two of them.

“Leaning in towards you and playing with her hair?” said Sirius, shaking her head. “That’s a classic sign!”

James was nodding. “Did she say anything?”

“Well, I was a little nervous I suppose after I realized how she was looking at me… so I was trying to keep the conversation light. She was being really friendly so I said a few jokes and she seemed to find them really funny so she laughed and I laughed… and she was mentioning how we’ve known each other for nearly six year and never actually spent any time together…”

Sirius caught James’s eye across the table and they knowingly smirked at each other.

“Remus, are you blind or something?” asked James with a laugh. “She was clearly trying to get you to ask her out.”

“It doesn’t matter,” said Remus, still flushing. “I’ve never thought about her like that.”

“Because of Hermione?” asked James, raising an eyebrow and taking a sip of his drink.

Sirius didn’t think Remus could have turned any redder, but he had been wrong. He was starting to resemble a tomato.

“Of course because of Hermione,” Remus muttered under his breath. “I still don’t know how she feels so I’m not going to give up.”

“Is it really giving up if you haven’t even told her you liked her?” asked Peter.

“Thanks Pete…”

“Well, he’s right,” said Sirius.

“Can we drop it?” said Remus irritably. “I’m still worried about Hermione. Her feeling sick came on rather suddenly…”

“She’ll be fine!” said Sirius, irritated at the change of subject.

“Should we go and check on her?” asked Remus nervously, looking at James and ignoring Sirius. “Maybe I can go back with you two after this and see if she’s okay…”

“Nah, she probably wants to be alone. And she certainly doesn’t want to see me right now,” Sirius said, chuckling lightly to himself. “I probably didn’t make it better when we ran into my mum and caused a scene in the street and then kissed her in front of a crowd of onlookers to piss my mother off.”

It had just slipped out before he even had the good sense to think before he spoke. The silence that followed his statement was deafening. It was beginning to feel like the longest lunch ever and they hadn’t even ordered food yet. All eyes were on him and Sirius awkwardly grabbed the handle of his pint of butterbeer and took a long sip. He was sure he was going to need something stronger. Immediately he began to glance around the pub in search of a barmaid.

“You what?”

It was James who had spoken, and he stared at Sirius with his mouth open from across the table. Peter was wearing a similar look of shock, his eyes large and bugging out of his head as they shifted between Sirius and Remus.

Remus, however, looked as though he was about to combust.

“Why on earth would you do that?” said Remus with a tone that was too even as he stared at Sirius with the utmost concentration, like he was staring through him. Sirius wished he could just melt into his chair. Why did he have to have such a big mouth?

Quickly, he went over the altercation he had with his mother and Regulus as the three boys stared at him with a mix of horror and anger. Well, most of the anger seemed to be stemming from Remus.

“Was that why she was sick and went home?” challenged Remus.

It was obvious the comment came from a place of hurt and probably jealousy, so Sirius tried not to seem too offended. It still stung a bit. It wasn’t that bad!

“It wasn’t even a real kiss! It was all for show!” Sirius defended quickly.

“What does that even mean?” demanded Remus, who was bright pink in the face.

“It means it meant absolutely nothing,” said Sirius. “It was a fake! All I did was press my face to hers to get my mum to freak out. I’d never really try to snog Hermione. Come on, Moony. Do you think I’d really do that to you?”

“To me?” he said. “What about to her!”

“It wasn’t real!”

“So the two of you planned it out in advance?” Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well… no…” admitted Sirius, feeling the pang of guilt in his stomach.

“I can’t believe you,” said Remus shaking his head. He groaned to himself and started to massage his temples.

James quickly pushed the extra glass of butterbeer that had been meant for Hermione in Remus’s direction. Sirius thought Moony would probably need something stronger too.

“Do you think if it had bothered her that much that I’d still be alive right now?” Sirius tried to reason with him. They all knew her well enough now that she had a way with her wand and wouldn’t take something like that easily from anyone.

It apparently was the wrong thing to say because as Remus looked at him his face fell into despair.

“You think it didn’t bother her?” he asked weakly. “That she could have… liked it?”

“Ah, Remus, mate… you know that’s not what I mean…” groaned Sirius. “She was clearly upset I did it, but not enough to want to murder me. She seemed pretty over it by the time she left. Besides… It. Was. Not. A. Real. Kiss!”

He emphasized the last few words, hoping to get it through Remus’s head.

“And you think she knew that?” he said that.

“How could she not! And I apologized already. Repeatedly! Also, didn’t we just go over that I don’t like Hermione like that? So maybe we can drop the little jealousy bit?”

Remus considered this and nodded slowly. “Alright, I believe you. You just better make it right.”

“I will, I will!” stressed Sirius.

“She must really have felt sick not to hex you right there,” said Remus, slowly shaking his head.

Another twinge of worry went through Sirius, because he definitely had to agree.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

Hermione sat on the window bench in her bedroom with her knees pressed into her chest as she stared out into the back garden. It had rained on and off the whole afternoon, but it had finally stopped for the night, and the view was so beautiful as the sun was beginning to set over the lake in the distance. Orange and pink clouds filled the sky as they burned bright as the sun tried to force its way through them on its way to sleep. There was an odd peacefulness to it that seemed to relax her numb body, but she was still not able to control the silent tears that occasionally would burn down her cheeks.

Her trunk that Dumbledore had given her when she first arrived was laid out in the middle of the wooden floor, only half packed. Hermione knew she should finish up and head to bed early, but in that moment, she found it impossible to move.

She didn’t want to go back to Hogwarts, she didn’t want to continue being in 1977 at all.

Hermione wanted to go home.

With all the intelligence she claimed to have, how could she have been so foolish not to see where her heart had been headed? And how could she have allowed it to happen? Her time here was only supposed to be temporary, and to allow herself to feel anything other than platonic friendship for anyone… especially Remus… complicated things.

One thing she was sure of, she could never act on it. How could she? Dumbledore had made it very clear that she had to go back to her time as soon as he figured out how. So wouldn’t it be cruel to begin something with someone that couldn’t be finished?

And Remus of all people! Her best friend! One of her best friend’s father’s best friends! Thinking of it like that made her head hurt; it all seemed so ridiculous. And hadn’t Remus had a whole life before she fell through time anyway? Obviously she had never been a part of it; she hadn’t even been born yet! Surely it would be changing the past to get involved. Not to mention how selfish it would be to try to insert herself into his life where she didn’t belong. There would be other girls from his own time he would date. Perhaps even Claudia Mahoney, who had clearly been interested in him before Hermione even arrived and was definitely still interested now. He deserved a pretty and kind girl from his own time who he could start a life with. Not someone who couldn’t even tell him everything about herself and then would one day have to disappear.

But that wasn’t even what bothered her the most. The worst part was thinking about how Remus would one day be her professor when she was only thirteen. It was so wrong, so very wrong and inappropriate that she felt sick with herself. Wouldn’t he be disgusted with her if he knew? Both in the past and present? He was much better off without her.

Just the thought of that seemed to break her heart even more, and she desperately wished she had her mother. What she would have given in that moment to feel her warm embrace and soothing words. Hermione forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat and she pressed the back of her head into the wooden window frame behind her, still staring out at the darkening sky.

A knock on her door startled her, and she pulled her feet off of the window bench to turn to look at it. Another knock followed it and Hermione quickly wiped the few remaining tears from her cheeks before hurrying over to the door.

Sirius and James were waiting on the other side when she opened it just a crack, peering out into the corridor at them.

“Hermione?” said James as he tried to look in through the crack.

“Hello,” was all Hermione managed to get out through her thick throat.

“Are you alright?” asked Sirius. He was bouncing slightly on his toes to look in over James’s head. “Can we come in?”

Silently, Hermione pulled the door open and stepped aside, allowing them to walk in.

“Sirius said you were sick,” said James, a look of worry across his face. “We just came to check on you.”

“Oh, yes, I was feeling sick,” she said nervously. “I’m so sorry I missed lunch, I hope you all had a good time… I’m just going to go to bed early before we travel tomorrow.”

“Do you want me to see if my dad has any potions you could take?” asked James.

“No, no, that’s alright…”

“Are you feeling any better?” asked Sirius.

He was smiling sheepishly at her, and Hermione was reminded of what he had last done when they were together. He had embarrassed her in front of a crowd.

He had kissed her.

Sort of…

Taking a few careful steps towards him, Hermione raised her hand and smacked him straight across the face. The sound of it echoed through the room and it brought her a great sense of satisfaction when her hand began to sting from the impact.

“Oi!” yelled Sirius, taking a step backwards as his hand went immediately to massage his cheek. “What was that for!”

“You know exactly what that was for,” Hermione muttered, crossing her arms and glaring at him. But she had to admit; she felt loads better.

James looked like he was conflicted on whether or not to laugh, so he just stood there grinning awkwardly as he glanced between them.

Sirius’s grey eyes were wide as he continued to rub his cheek. “Okay, yes, I deserve that. I’m sorry, Hermione, but you didn’t have to hit me that hard!”

Hermione raised an eyebrow at him. “Didn’t you say I could hit you if it made me feel better?”

“Okay, okay…” conceded Sirius, starting to look worried as Hermione stood her ground. “I’ll take the hit…”

“In all fairness, Padfoot, Hermione did say if you did anything close to licking her again she’d hex you,” said James with humor in his voice. “I’d reckon you got off easy.”

Hermione’s face lit up. “I did say that, didn’t I!” she said, taking out her wand and pointing it at Sirius.

There wasn’t even a chance for Sirius to try to shield himself as Hermione spoke.

“Colloshoo,” she said, waving her wand lazily in his direction.

There was a flash of yellow light and Sirius looked down in shock. His eyes were wide as he realized that his feet were now glued to the floor. He grabbed under his one knee and tried to pry his foot from the floorboards but only ended losing his balance. His arms flailed wildly before he tumbled backwards and hit the wooden floor with a loud thud.

“Oh, come on!” groaned Sirius.

“Good job, Hermione. Now you’ve just made it so he can’t leave your room,” laughed James.

“I have, haven’t I?” said Hermione with a heavy sigh, looking down at Sirius who was straining to try to push himself back onto his feet. She watched him struggle for a moment before finally feeling a little bad.

“Finite.” She waved her wand again and Sirius’s feet finally became free. He stretched his legs out in front of himself and just laid down across the floor, staring at the ceiling.

“Honestly, I think I do feel better now,” said Hermione, smiling to herself as she tucked her wand away.

“Well, good. I deserved it,” said Sirius, still sprawled out like a starfish on the floor. “I really am sorry.”

“I know it wasn’t real,” started Hermione. “But never do that again. If you want me to go along with something, next time just ask me. Don’t just blindside me…”

Sirius was nodding fervently.

“It won’t happen again. Remus completed reamed me out for what I did too. And honestly I feel terrible.”

The sound of Remus’s name brought back the sinking feeling in her chest.

“You told him?” said Hermione, feeling as though her stomach was about to fall out of her body.

“Well, I told him it wasn’t a real one anyway,” said Sirius, finally getting back to his feet. “If we weren’t in a crowded pub, he probably would have hexed me too.”

“Why would he have hexed you?” Hermione asked, her heart increasing its pace. Did he like her too? Was he jealous? A moment passed where she felt a flicker of hope before she remembered that it wouldn’t matter either way. He couldn’t… it wasn’t supposed to happen.

Sirius looked over at James and they seemed to be having a silent conversation with their eyes as Hermione waited with anticipation, having her own mental battle.

“Because when Sirius said what happened, Remus thought it was why you decided to come back here,” said James. “He also thought Sirius did it without your permission so he was angry on your behalf.”

That pesky stinging sensation returned behind her eyes as her stomach seemed to sink even lower. Of course that was the reason. He was just being a good friend. It was very noble of him. She should have been grateful he had tried to stand up for her when she wasn’t there to do it herself, but all she felt was more pain.

“I’m sure he’ll tell you all about how disgusted he is with me on the train tomorrow,” said Sirius, who was back to rubbing his cheek and eyeing Hermione carefully.

“Right…” murmured Hermione, fighting the urge to cry again.

“You still don’t look great, Mione,” said Sirius, a sadness in his eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t want a potion?” asked James.

“No, but thank you. I just need to finish packing and head to bed. And I know neither of you have packed so you should probably do the same,” she said.

“Yeah, true,” said James, also looking slightly concerned. “Get some rest, we’ll see you in the morning.”

“Hopefully seeing Remus will make you feel better tomorrow,” added Sirius, as they started to cross the room.

Any lingering anger she still had for Sirius evaporated in that moment and was replaced with heartache.

“Again, I’m sorry,” said Sirius at the door, remorse reflecting in his eyes.

“You’re forgiven, now go pack for tomorrow,” Hermione waved her hand nonchalantly, just wanting them to leave.

She turned way from the door and heard it click shut behind her, just in time for her tears to return. She lowered herself to the floor and sat cross-legged in front of her trunk. Carefully, she folded in what little clothes she brought with her and wrapped up her new potions ingredients for safe keeping. Luckily none of them had broken earlier. There wasn’t much to do, since she didn’t have many belongings. A part of her thought back to just taking her trunk and running, but what would be the point?

Through the window, Hermione could see the colors from earlier were now just replaced with dark shades of blue and grey. The sun was now almost fully set and Hermione took her wand back out.

“Amato Animo Animato Animagus,” she murmured with her wand tip pressed to her chest, right above her heart. Nothing happened, just like every time she had done it since the full moon. She had made it too far to just give up on becoming an animagus now.

With a sigh, she placed her black leather journals and the letters she had collected from the holiday on top of everything in her trunk and closed it. She had no idea how she would be able to even look Remus in the eye for the entire train ride tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Chapter 28 - A Stupid Little Crush

It’s just a stupid little crush. It’s just a stupid little crush. It’s just a stupid little crush…

Hermione repeated these words over and over again in her head as she, James, and Sirius walked down the train platform.

The three of them had just said goodbye to James’s parents, and Hermione had thanked them profusely for their hospitality over the last two weeks. It had been so long since she had stayed anywhere other than Hogwarts and she was immensely grateful to them. But now she would have to go back and face her current reality.

“Do you see Moony or Wormtail anywhere?” asked Sirius who was on his toes trying to look over the crowd of students.

“Nope,” said James, also straining to see where their friends were.

Hermione was actively trying to not see either of them, even if her reasoning for each of them was completely different.

Then, her stomach seemed to sink as she spotted a tall figure with sandy hair in the opposite direction of where James and Sirius were searching.

“Well, there’s Remus,” said Hermione in a small voice, pointing towards him.

“Remus!” yelled James, cupping his hands around his mouth.

Hermione watched as Remus jumped slightly and turned around, looking through the crowd in confusion. Then his face broke into a grin when he spotted the three of them, his eyes locking directly onto Hermione.

She let out a deep breath, which luckily went unnoticed with all the commotion on the platform.

It’s just a stupid little crush. It’s not a big deal. It’s nothing really. It’s just a stupid little crush…

“Hey, Hermione!” said Remus, and Hermione smiled softly at him as he quickly walked up to them.

Without any warning, he pulled her in for a hug before quickly releasing her with a grin. Not entirely knowing how to react, she just let out a nervous laugh as she felt her face grow warm. The smile slowly fell from Remus’s face when he caught sight of her expression.

“Are you feeling any better?” Remus asked, sounding concerned.

“I-I’m alright,” said Hermione, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Are you sure?” he asked hesitantly.

“I’m not sure about that, she’s got that look on her face again,” said Sirius, pointing his finger way too close to Hermione’s face.

“What look?” she asked, glaring at his finger.

“Where you look like someone’s kicked you in the stomach and you’re about to spew,” said Sirius, still pointing.

“Your face is flushed too,” said Remus.

“And you have been really quiet all morning,” added James.

“Honestly, I’m fine,” insisted Hermione. “I’m just a bit tired.”

“Well, you’ll have plenty of time to rest on the train,” said Remus with a small nod, but there was clear concern in his eyes as he looked at her.

All Hermione could do was sigh. But if she really thought about it, napping on the train did sound appealing. What she had said about being tired was true, she hadn’t slept very well the night before.

“Look, there’s Wormtail!” said Sirius, who had changed from pointing at her to pointing down the platform to where Peter was talking with, who Hermione assumed were, his parents. She saw the woman hand Peter what looked like an Easter basket.

“PETE!” screamed James with cupped hands again.

On their way to find a compartment, they passed one that contained Lily, Mary, Doris, and Claudia and they all exchanged friendly waves with each other. The idea of maybe joining Lily and Mary in a compartment rather than with the boys had crossed Hermione’s mind but seeing Claudia with them quickly had her changing it. She didn’t know what would have been more uncomfortable, sitting with Remus or sitting with Doris and Claudia.

Doris seemed absolutely thrilled to see Sirius, who did not seem nearly as excited. With a sheepish grin, he started to usher the rest of them down the train corridor. As they walked away, Hermione noticed Claudia’s eyes lingering on Remus and Hermione was suddenly thinking maybe Sirius had had the right idea about taking their broomsticks and flying. It certainly would have left her with a less nauseating feeling.

The ride back to Hogwarts was excruciatingly long. The only thing that gave Hermione any peace of mind was knowing that for a good portion of their journey, Remus would have to go off and do patrols with Lily. But the times he wasn’t on patrol, he was sitting directly next to her, close enough to be able to smell the chocolate Easter eggs the four of them were eating, which was a gift from Peter’s mum. The confusion she used to experience thinking about the scent of chocolate and Amortentia was now replaced with a fleeting sense of sadness. Maybe the Amortentia smelling like chocolate really had been a sign and not a coincidence. She had to shake the thought from her head, and instead forced her mind to return to chanting.

There were brief moments of sleep on the train, with Hermione curled up and leaning against the window, but she unfortunately couldn’t sleep the entire ride, especially with how loud Sirius and James could get. Remus’s pleas for them to be quiet as she slept went ignored. He seemed genuinely worried for her; constantly asking how she was feeling, and Hermione just had to swallow the lump in her throat and assure him she was fine every time he asked.

It was a miracle when the train finally pulled into Hogsmeade Station, and even more so that Hermione had managed to last the entire journey without crying from the stress of all of it. When they got off their carriage outside the castle gate, Remus held her slightly back as they walked.

“Chocolate?” he asked, holding out a broken off portion of one of Peter’s Easter eggs.

“Oh, uh, no thank you,” declined Hermione, wishing he hadn’t separated them from the pack. She watched James, Sirius, and Peter walking ahead of them and she bit her bottom lip nervously.

“You know, it always helps me when I’m not feeling well,” he insisted.

“Really, I’m fine…”

“I don’t believe you.”

Hermione stared at him for a moment as he continued to try to push the chocolate towards her. Giving up, Hermione tentatively took the small piece of chocolate and bit off half of it. It was delicious, and Hermione felt a small warmth go through her. Maybe it did make her feel a little better.

Her expression must have been telling because Remus broke into a grin. “What did I tell you?”

Hermione smiled wearily back at him and plopped the rest of it into her mouth and continued to chew as they walked.

“You know, I didn’t want to say it in front of the others, but I’ve been really worried, Hermione,” he said.

“What are you worried about?”

“You. You seemed so fine yesterday before disappearing. When Sirius said you were really sick and went back to James’s house, how could I not worry?”

A pang of guilt went through her.

“I’m sorry about leaving before lunch yesterday,” she said truthfully. She had also been looking forward to it and wished the day before had gone very differently. It would have made things so much easier in that moment.

“There will be other lunches, Hermione,” said Remus, shaking his head. “That’s not what had me worried.”

Hermione stared at his concerned face as they walked, and a fondness spread through her. It was almost annoying how caring he was. Why couldn’t he be less kind? That thought almost made her laugh with the absurdity of it.

“Not to mention you haven’t seemed yourself today. You barely spoke to any of us during the train ride,” he continued.

“I do feel better,” insisted Hermione, not meeting his eye. “I just didn’t sleep well last night. I’m tired.”

“Is it because of Sirius?” he asked, clearly not buying her attempts to assure him nothing was wrong. His voice sounded firmer than usual and his face was hard. “Because if it is…”

“What?” asked Hermione with confusion, wondering where his mind was going, But then she remembered the kiss. The memory made her flinch and her cheeks burned. Why did Sirius have to go and tell them about that? “No, it’s not because of Sirius. That’s been dealt with…”

There was a ridiculous sense of irony for Remus to assume she wasn’t with them because of Sirius rather than her own feelings for him.

It’s just a stupid little crush…

“Yeah, James mentioned you hexing him…” said Remus with a small frown.

“Sirius can be an idiot, but at least I now have leverage against him in case I ever need something,” Hermione settled on saying.

It wasn’t necessarily a lie, but she was aware that Remus was indirectly asking her what actually was the matter. And it wasn’t as though she could tell him that. What would she say? Oh yes, Remus, I’ve just been acting weird because I realized I actually sort of like you but it’s very complicated and inappropriate because technically I’ve not even been born yet! Also, you were my teacher once but in the future! He’d go running for the hills.

Remus was clearly unsatisfied by her response, but he was kind enough to drop the subject. When they arrived in the Entrance Hall, he started towards the Great Hall but Hermione stopped.

“I’m actually going to head to bed early. You go on to dinner without me,” said Hermione, causing Remus to stop and look back at her.

“What?” asked Remus blankly.

“I’m not very hungry, but I am very tired still.”

“But I was hoping we could maybe go to our room afterwards… it’s been two weeks since we really spoke.”

He was staring at her so sadly and Hermione’s heart felt like it might break.

“I’m sorry, Remus, I really just need to get some sleep. But I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?” Hermione said quickly.

“Yeah, alright,” said Remus slowly.

Hermione turned and quickly walked towards the Grand Staircase, leaving a very confused and concerned Remus staring after her.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

At first, Hermione thought maybe avoiding Remus would be the best course of action; at least it would make it easier for her to refocus her brain on her real priorities. As days started to go by, she realized that it would have been impossible to avoid Remus, so Hermione had quickly given up on that idea. Still, she didn’t want to spend time alone with him. Instead, she made a point to only spend time with him with the others around. Any time an opportunity arose where he would have had a chance to ask to go off to their room, Hermione either escaped to the library with all her assignments, stayed in her dormitory, or wrangled all of them into a group study. Luckily, no one question the fact that she had thrown herself into her studies with the end of the year exams approaching. Even if anyone had grown suspicious of her always excusing herself to go off and study, no one brought it up. Everyone was putting much more attention on their pile of work as well. It helped that most of her friends were also nervous that the date for the Apparition test was drawing nearer and nearer.

But not being able to spend time with Remus like she had grown so accustomed to was difficult. Now that she realized how much she actually did like him, she became so much more aware of his presence whenever he was around, and when he wasn’t she longed to be with him. But she knew that she couldn’t allow that. Her only option was to try to distract herself and either spend more time with Lily and Mary or to just stay away from private settings with him. Luckily there were plenty of distractions around the castle for her to keep her mind occupied.

Things seemed different once classes had resumed back at Hogwarts the following few weeks. News of attacks around Britain were starting to circulate in the Daily Prophets. They weren’t incredibly common yet, and rarely made the front page. It almost seemed as though the Prophet was doing its best to try to keep them as low profile as possible, never sharing more than vague details. If someone didn’t read the paper front to back, it was easily missed. Most of the students around Hogwarts didn’t even seem to notice, and the few that did notice didn’t seem to think it was that big of a deal, given that Hogwarts was supposed to be one of the safest places in all of Britain. While Hermione knew this to be true, but she still worried, knowing how impending the war was.

There was a noticeable change in some of the Slytherins’ behaviors. Avery and Mulciber were quieter in classes, and particularly attentive in Potions as Slughorn continued to teach about poisons and antidotes. Rosier hadn’t show up to the last Slug Club meeting, and while Regulus still attended, he seemed to be so tense that he looked like at any moment his white knuckles would shatter. Snape was as hard to read as ever, and Hermione had a feeling he was still keeping an eye on her after the full moon before Easter holiday, although he hadn’t approached her again since his detentions with Filch.

Days would go by where Dumbledore was missing from Hogwarts without any kind of explanation. Knowing what she did about the upcoming war, Hermione suspected he was meeting with the Order of the Phoenix, but there was no way for her to confirm that. None of her friends ever brought the organization up, so Hermione assumed they must not have been aware of it given they were still in school and some of them were still not of age, like Peter.

There was another part of Hermione that wondered if Dumbledore was missing from the castle because of her. Maybe he had discovered something that would help her go home. If that were the case, she wished he would at least keep her informed with what was happening. Ever since she had returned from holiday, she had wanted to speak with him, but his random disappearances as well as her busy schedule seemed to make that impossible. The days she went to talk to him seemed to always align with the days he wasn’t in the castle. Hermione had gone to his office multiple times to check if maybe he was just avoiding meals, but with no luck.

Having Dumbledore just gone from the castle was odd. The last time she was able to speak with him about was when she had gone to quickly ask him if she could join in on Apparition lessons, which he had allowed her to do. Their meetings had become more and more infrequent and in the back of her mind, Hermione couldn’t help but wonder if he had given up on finding a way for her to go home.

The thought of Dumbledore abandoning her in the past would have driven her mad if the rest of the term hadn’t begun to get incredibly busy. Throwing herself into her studies had always been a way for her to refocus, to regain some sort of control. Classes had never been more difficult, and Hermione was even starting to feel the stress from them. Still, Hermione was dying to speak with Dumbledore and was waiting impatiently for his return to Hogwarts. In the meantime, Hermione spent most of her free time alone in the library, pouring over books and trying to get a certain wizard out of her head.

One afternoon after a particularly complicated Transfigurations lesson, Hermione, Mary, and Lily sat eating lunch in the Great Hall. Well, Hermione was trying to force herself to eat, which she had found rather difficult lately. That as well as sleeping; she hadn’t had more than a few hours of sleep a night since term restarted. She hadn’t felt this anxious between classes and everything outside of them since her third year. The only other person that seemed to be nearly as stressed as her was Mary.

“What happens if we don’t pass our exams at the end of the year?” said Mary fearfully. Her eyes flicking up and down the open page of her Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook she had laid out in front of her on the table. “N.E.W.Ts aren’t until next year, but will they kick us out of our N.E.W.T level courses if we fail this year?”

“I doubt it,” said Hermione. “They aren’t official Ministry exams. They’re just like every other exam before the O.W.Ls.”

“Try to imagine them like a measure of how well you’re doing halfway through N.E.W.T level courses,” suggested Lily. “Like a progress checkpoint.”

Mary groaned and placed her head down onto the open textbook with a light thump.

“I barely passed the Defense O.W.L exam as it is… My parents will be so disappointed if I fall behind. I didn’t get anything to transfigure in class earlier and Apparition tests are soon and I’ve only successfully done it once…” she moaned into the pages, her voice sounding muffled.

“Aw, Mary, we’ll help you with Defense,” soothed Lily, reaching over the table and patting Mary’s head. “And Transfiguration!”

Mary grumbled in response.

“Miss Macdonald, are you quite alright?” said a voice from behind Hermione and Mary.

Mary’s head shot up with surprise and they all looked up to see Professor McGonagall standing behind them looking at Mary curiously.

“Oh! Yes, Professor,” said Mary who was turning a brilliant shade of red.

“If you are indeed concerned about your lessons and your marks, my office is always open,” said Professor McGonagall, peering over her glasses at Mary.

“Er- right, thank you, professor,” mumbled Mary. She looked back down at her book, but based on her expression, she appeared like she wished she were anywhere else at the moment.

“Miss Dawson,” said McGonagall, turning her attention to Hermione. “This letter is for you.”

She handed a folded-up piece of parchment to Hermione who took it delicately.

“What’s that?” asked Lily curiously as McGonagall walked away. Mary, now that McGonagall had left, was looking back over at Hermione too.

“No idea,” frowned Hermione.

Carefully, she unfolded the parchment and looked at the letter:

Dear Miss Dawson,

If you have a chance today, I’d like to meet with you in my office.

It has been a while since we have spoken.

Albus Dumbledore

Hermione stared down at the parchment, a million thoughts immediately running through her head. Dumbledore was back and he already wanted to meet with her. If he had just gotten back this was either a good or a bad sign. Had he maybe been away figuring out a way for her to go home? Her stomach flipped at the thought; the idea alarming her.

“Are you alright, Hermione?” asked Mary sounding worried.

“Hm?”

Hermione looked up and saw both Mary and Lily looking at her curiously.

“You look as though you’ve seen a ghost,” said Lily. “Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing,” she said quickly.

Lily looked down at the letter and Hermione followed her gaze, noticing that her hands were trembling slightly. Hermione quickly folded the letter up and tucked it away.

“Do you have the time?” Hermione asked Lily.

“Oh, sure,” said Lily. She looked down at her watch. “It’s just half past now.”

There was still about an hour until they had to be at Potions and Hermione immediately stood up.

“Brilliant, thanks, Lily!” she said as she grabbed her bag and swung in over her shoulder. “I have to go do something before class. If I’m late, can you tell Slughorn I’m on my way?”

“Yeah, of course,” said Lily, looking startled at Hermione’s sudden movement.

“Thanks!”

By the time she arrived outside of Dumbledore’s office, Hermione was out of breath from her rush. She had to pause outside of his door just to steady her breathing, feeling both physically and mentally exhausted. With one final exhale, Hermione knocked.

“Enter,” said a voice from the other side.

Hermione hesitantly opened the door and stepped into the room. Professor Dumbledore sat behind his old wooden desk as he quickly scribbled away, writing on a long sheet of parchment. As the sound of the door closing behind Hermione, he looked up.

“Ah, Hermione,” said Dumbledore with his signature twinkle-eyed smile, laying down his quill on the desk.

“Hello, sir,” she said quickly through her growing nerves.

“Please, have a seat.”

Tentatively, Hermione pulled her bag off her shoulder and sat down in the chair across from Dumbledore’s desk. She let her bag fall to her feet and she folded her hands politely in her lap, waiting for Dumbledore to speak.

“So, I have heard that you have been wishing to speak to me,” said Dumbledore with a gentle smile.

So, her attempts of trying to get to him had not gone unnoticed. Normally that might have embarrassed her, but the only thing she was feeling in that moment was unease.

“Yes, sir,” said Hermione.

He continued to smile as he leaned back in his chair and gestured with his hands for her to continue talking. She wasn’t even sure where to begin. She had expected him to have some form of small talk, or maybe explain where he’s been and any progress he’s made. He always seemed to have answers before the questions were even asked, and she had hoped that this would be one of those occasions. Leaving her to lead the conversation confused her, and also terrified her.

“I suppose I was just wondering about whether or not there was any progress on me being here…” she said lamely, not knowing what else to say.

“Ah, yes, I imagine you would be wondering that,” said Dumbledore. “And I wish I had a better answer for you.”

“So that’s a no?”

Dumbledore nodded gravely and Hermione looked down at her hands. Although she wasn’t entirely surprised at this point, disappointment still ran through her body.

“Do you still wish you run?” he asked.

Hermione gave a start at the question.

“Is that a possibility?” she asked hesitantly.

“Regrettably it is not, I just wished to measure where your head currently was,” said Dumbledore, frowning at her.

Hermione felt her shoulders slump. Unfortunately, it wasn’t where her head was that was her current problem. Now she had to worry about her heart as well. But if there was no way home, and she had to stay in the past, that problem could go away…

“Then is there not a way for me to help? To make changes?” Hermione asked, feeling brave in the moment. “I can be a great asset about some things in the future… if I have to stay here, then let me at least help.”

Dumbledore’s frown deepened as he regarded her carefully. It was almost as if she could see the gears turning in the old wizard’s head. Hermione wondered if he were trying to think of a way for her to help or if he were trying to find a way to reject her. Either way, she was holding her breath in anticipation for an answer.

“You already know the answer to that, Hermione,” said Dumbledore slowly.

It was the worst thing he could have said to her, and anger immediately began to coarse through her blood. No, she didn’t know the answer. She didn’t know the answer to anything anymore. Half of the time she didn’t even know what questions she was supposed to ask, let alone begin to wonder about answers.

“But I don’t anymore. I don’t know anything!”

“Alas, all we can do right now is wait,” Dumbledore said solemnly.

“But I can’t just sit around and wait!”

“You’ll have to.”

“But I can help!” Hermione said with conviction. “Isn’t that why you’ve been away? To do things for the war?”

He stared at her silently for a moment, looking at her with a guarded expression and Hermione began to wonder if she had gone too far.

“The best way for you to help right now, is to not purposely upset the timeline,” he explained in a tone so calm that Hermione felt her ears begin to ring in annoyance.

“Yet, there is no way for me to know if what I’m doing is upsetting it or not,” she said through gritted teeth. “How am I supposed to know if what I’m doing is, or is not, affecting the future?”

“Remember the stream—”

“Damn the stream!” said Hermione, launching to her feet and feeling as though the room were suddenly filled with red. “Don’t you think we’re well past a stream metaphor by now? I’m not some pebble in a hypothetical! In two months, it will have been an entire year that I’ve been here! Do you honestly believe that in the past year just my existence hasn’t change anything? Whether it’s been five centuries or 20 years, do you not think things have changed? Do you not think I’ve effected the lives of the people you told me to get close to just by being a part of their lives? You’ve kept me here against my will, and against my better judgement, and because of that it could have put these people that I now care so deeply about at risk! And even with my knowledge of the future, you refuse to now let me help them!”

Her chest heaved in and out as she breathed heavily while she stared at a stone-faced Dumbledore. If she hadn’t gone too far earlier, she certainly had now. Hermione wasn’t sure where her outburst had come from, but getting the words out had both taken a strong weight off of her shoulders while simultaneously filling her with overwhelming guilt. Embarrassment tingled from her face through her body down to her toes and she numbly sat back down in the chair and couldn’t bear to meet Dumbledore’s eye.

There was deathly silence throughout Dumbledore’s office now. Hermione focused her eyes on the silver instruments moving and spinning on his desk and concentrated hard on the faint sound of fire cracking from the torches around the room. It was the only thing she could think to do to distract herself so she wouldn’t start to cry.

“I-I’m sorry,” she mumbled, feeling her entire face burn.

“Frustration is natural,” he said simply. “I’d be more concerned if you didn’t feel this way. It shows you care a great deal in preserving the timeline as it should be.”

Hermione didn’t miss what Dumbledore was implying with his statement. It may have sounded like a compliment, but she knew the deeper meaning; that he was telling her to continue to be a good girl who wouldn’t dare to try to change the future.

“I just worry about what changes I’m making by just existing,” Hermione admitted. “I’ve grown so close to some people, and I just feel as though my attachment to them can lead to problems.”

This seemed to get more of his attention and Dumbledore looked over his half-moon spectacles at her.

“Can you elaborate on these attachments and problems, Miss Granger?”

His words sent a chill through her body. Had she said too much? There was no way she could fully tell him how strong her attachments had become. It was probably better not to say anything about how she felt about Remus, especially since she could never act on it now that Dumbledore had indirectly said she couldn’t make any purposeful changes. Either way, she would just have to keep reminding herself it was only a stupid little crush. Over and over again.

Sure, Hermione could be the good girl Dumbledore wanted her to be. She would play along and float down Dumbledore’s stream, no matter how painful it was.

“I just care very deeply for them and worry about the future. If there’s nothing I can do to help change the future, then I don’t want to do anything that can potentially harm them,” she said carefully, trying to hide the pain she was feeling in her chest.

If Dumbledore knew the true extent of her misguided feelings, he did not make it known. Instead, he nodded thoughtfully.

“And you believe this could lead to problems?”

“How could it not? If my friends here care for me half as much as I care for them that’s a problem in itself. They were supposed to grow up without me; live lives without me. I don’t belong here.”

She felt like she was going mad. How many times would they have a similar conversation? Was what she was saying truly not getting through to him or was he just patronizing her? All she wanted was a straight answer, not metaphors and idioms. She was beginning to wonder if he knew even less about what to do than he had been letting on.

“The saying is overdone, but things do happen for a reason, Hermione,” he said, sitting forward in his chair. Hermione didn’t even have time to scoff at his cliched comment before he continued. “I would say, in some ways, you do belong here. But only time will tell.”

Great. Another non-answer.

“Time will tell… brilliant,” she grumbled to herself, but he must have heard her because Dumbledore smirked.

“While I may not always be in the castle as of late, I am still here if you need me. I am always an owl away,” said Dumbledore.

Hermione just nodded at him. That was at least good to know, and she just hoped he would extend the said curtesy to her if he found anything out that could help her go home.

“You should get to class,” he said. “Professor Slughorn will be missing you.”

It was clearly a dismissal, but Hermione wasn’t even remotely offended by it. If anything, she welcomed an excuse to escape his office.

“Yes, sir,” she said. She reached down and took a hold of her bag.

“And one more thing, Hermione,” said Dumbledore just as she started to stand up. “While I was able to get your name on the list for lessons and to register for the Apparition test, there still is no official record of you at the Ministry.”

Hermione didn’t like where this was going.

“And what does that mean, sir?” she asked, hesitantly.

“It means, you are going to have to fail your test.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 29 - Ripples

Hermione and Lily sat on one of the benches on the grassy slope just outside the Entrance Hall as they waited to go for their Apparition test. It was a gorgeous spring day; the sky was a light blue with the sporadic white fluffy clouds slowly moving with the gentle breeze. It was one of the first warmer days of the term and the courtyard was full of many sixth years anxiously waiting to try for their Apparition license.

Their test had originally been planned to be taken in Hogsmeade, like their extra Apparition lessons had been, but there had been some sort of scheduling error. Just before lunch, Hermione had seen two of the Ministry instructors arguing with Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall in the Entrance Hall about where they were meant to administer the test since many of the shops in Hogsmeade were apparently unaware they were supposed to be there.

It had then been settled that they were to use the Great Hall like they had in their first few lessons. The instructors did not seem too pleased with this, but they had no other choice. This meant lunch had been cut short that day to prepare the hall for the tests as well as to remove the anti-Apparition charm temporarily. This left even more time for all of the sixth years to sit and wait around for the instructors to be ready for them. Well, those who were seventeen.

Not far away from where Lily and Hermione sat, Mary and Marcus were sitting together under a tree. They held hands as they talked quietly to each other, and Hermione couldn’t help but feel slightly envious of their happiness as they looked like a romantic postcard. She had to pull her gaze away and tried to focus on the leaflet in her hands instead.

The leaflet was useless, and so was Hermione’s attempts to concentrate on it. It had been a few days since she spoke with Dumbledore and she was still angry with him. One of the few things Hermione always prided herself on was her ability to do well in class and on tests. Failing a test on purpose went against everything she stood for. If he had known that she wouldn’t be allowed to pass, Dumbledore shouldn’t have let her sign up for the lessons at all.

“This isn’t the most helpful thing,” said Lily, flipping over the Ministry of Magic leaflet Common Apparition Mistakes and How to Avoid Them that had been handed out to them during their shortened lunch. She wore a small frown on her face and her eyebrows were furrowed tightly as she gripped the leaflet. “I don’t see why they think giving this to us right before the test will make any difference.”

“I don’t think it will,” said Hermione somberly, as her eyes scanned over the section on the three D’s of Apparition. “If anyone didn’t know any of this before today it certainly won’t help them now.”

Lily nodded in agreement. “Exactly. They should have given it to us during the first lesson. But I guess it’s better to have something to look over than just overthink before the test.”

A commotion came from the entrance to the castle as the doors flew open and Sirius ran out, quickly followed by an angry Doris and a wide-eyed Claudia.

“Thanks for nothing!” Doris called across the lawn stopping just outside the door. Then she took the bewildered looking Claudia by the arm with a loud huff and led her back into the castle.

Sirius’s hand was covering the top of his face right above his eyes and Hermione and Lily exchanged a confused look.

“Sirius?” called out Hermione.

Sirius’s head snapped in her and Lily’s direction and immediately started making his way down the grassy slope to where the two of them were sitting.

“She hit me in the face with some spell!” roared Sirius, causing the scattered groups around them to watch him curiously. “Just now in the Entrance Hall!”

“What?” said Lily, putting her leaflet down on the bench beside her and staring at Sirius with wide eyes. “Doris did?”

“Yes! She did!” exclaimed Sirius.

“What did she hit you with?” asked Hermione, standing up from the bench and reaching up towards the hand on his face.

Sirius jerked away.

“I don’t even know! I didn’t feel anything and there wasn’t a light… and she did it non-verbally!”

“Then how do you know she even did anything?” asked Lily, also getting to her feet and trying to peer around his hand.

“Because everyone in the Entrance Hall was laughing and looking at my forehead!”

“Let me see it then,” said Hermione, grabbing his wrist and trying to pull his hand from his face. Sirius let out a whimper and Hermione rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t be a baby, Sirius.”

Reluctantly, Sirius let Hermione pull his hand away from his face. As soon as Hermione and Lily got a look at his forehead, they both burst out laughing.

“What is it?” asked Sirius anxiously, looking between the two of them.

“Hold on,” laughed Lily who crouched down to her bag that was laying in the grass and pulled out a small mirror. She turned it so Sirius could see himself and snickered. “She dyed your eyebrows green!”

Sirius’s eyebrows were a garish shade of green, which contrasted quite terribly with his pale complexion and dark hair. At the sight of his reflection, Sirius’s jaw dropped and he snatched the mirror from Lily’s hands to get a closer look.

Hermione and Lily continued to laugh as Sirius desperately rubbed at his eyebrows, as if he were thinking he’d be able to wipe the green away.

“What did you do, anyway?” asked Lily, her green eyes twinkling with laughter.

“What?” asked Sirius, looking up from the mirror at Lily. “Oh, I broke up with Doris. She was not happy.”

The smile fell from Lily’s face.

“Oh dear…” muttered Lily, who was no longer laughing.

“I thought you said that the two of you weren’t dating and it was just casual,” said Hermione, saying the last word mockingly. “How do you break up with someone you aren’t dating?”

“That’s the thing, isn’t it?” said Sirius, who was back to staring at himself in the mirror and rubbing his eyebrows again. “I didn’t think we were! But then over holiday she kept writing me… and we came back and she kept wanting to hang out all the time and then she just asked me to be her boyfriend.”

He sounded horrified by his own words and he quickly exaggerated a shudder.

“And that would have been such a bad thing?” asked Lily.

“It is when we had agreed it was casual!”

“So, you told her you wouldn’t be her boyfriend, so she jinxed you?” guessed Hermione.

“Yes! I told her that we had talked about just having fun and how she had said that’s what she was looking for too! But now she seemed to have different ideas.”

“That’s on her then,” said Lily with a shrug.

Sirius looked up again from the mirror and regarded Lily with surprise.

“Aren’t you friends with her? And you’re agreeing with me?”

“Well, if you had made your intentions clear, you aren’t really in the wrong, are you? And while I do feel badly for her, it’s not really anyone’s fault and she shouldn’t have done that to you.”

Sirius blinked at her.

The door to the castle opened again but this time it was James and Remus who came out if it. Hermione’s stomach tightened at the sight of Remus, and his face lit up when he spotted her. It was impossible to not smile back at him. James, however, had his gaze locked on Sirius.

“There you are Padfoot! Admiring yourself?” said James he approached them with Remus by his side.

“Of course,” said Sirius bitterly, rolling his eyes. “When you look as good as me you can never get enough…”

“He’s not bothering you, is he Lily?” asked James.

“I’m not the one he’s bothered,” giggled Lily, covering her mouth with her hand.

When James got close enough to get a good look at Sirius’s face he stopped and burst out laughing.

“I have to say, that’s not a good look on you, mate,” laughed James.

“Oh, sod off,” muttered Sirius, still rubbing at his face.

“Where’s Peter?” asked Lily, looking at James and Remus with her eyes still twinkling.

“He had to go to class,” said Remus.

 “Poor guy isn’t seventeen yet and can’t take the test,” said James.

“Ah, that’s a shame,” said Lily with a sympathetic look.

“We came to find all of you, they’re starting to line people up for the test,” said Remus.

Sirius gave a start.

“But what about my eyebrows!”

“Here, let me fix it,” said Lily, taking out her wand and pointing it to Sirius’s forehead. “Colovaria!”

She tapped her wand to his eyebrows and they slowly returned to their regular, dark selves. Sirius looked back in the mirror and let out a sigh of relief.

“Thanks,” he said with a grin to Lily.

“You’re welcome,” said Lily with a proud smile. “And you should have remembered that spell. We learned it ages ago. But I guess now you’ll remember it for the next time that happens.”

Lily grinned brilliantly and began walking up the slope back towards the castle.

“Well, I had panicked!” called Sirius after her. Then his eyes grew wider and he scrambled to follow Lily. “Wait! What do you mean ‘next time’? Lily!”

James laughed and began following his best friend up the hill, leaving Hermione alone with Remus.

“So, are you ready for the test?” Remus asked Hermione as they began making their way up the hill as well.

“I guess I’ll have to be,” she said, looking down at the grass as they walked.

“With all the revising you’ve been doing I’m sure you’ll be glad to have one thing off your plate.”

“Yes, one less thing to have to think about,” she said matter-of-factly, even thought the opposite was true. She was going to be thinking about this and Dumbledore for a long time to come.

“You seem a bit tense,” Remus said, and Hermione could see the frown on his face out of the corner of her eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“Unsure.”

He looked at her curiously. “Unsure of how you’re feeling? Or that you’re feeling unsure?”

It was a good question, one where she wasn’t entirely certain of the answer now that he asked it. She took a moment to consider it.

“Both, I suppose. More so the latter.”

“Well,” said Remus with a warm smile. “If any of us will pass, it’ll be you. You’re brilliant.”

Hermione smiled weakly back up at him, her chest tightening slightly. She wished he didn’t have so much faith in her, he would only ever get let down.

“What was all that about?” asked Mary, appearing beside Hermione. Marcus was at her side, holding her hand.

“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” said Hermione shaking her head, but immediately feeling herself relax at the distraction of Mary’s presence. “But I’ll tell you later.”

“Excellent,” said Mary with a grin. She winked at Hermione and her and Marcus followed the rest of their classmates up the hill.

“What was that all about?” asked Remus with a smirk.

“All I can say is just don’t get on the wrong side of Doris,” said Hermione, smiling to herself while thinking about Sirius’s green eyebrows. Mary would have loved to have seen that. That is, before she went off to murder Sirius for upsetting Doris.

“Noted,” grinned Remus.

They made her way to the Entrance Hall where she saw the rest of her of age classmates beginning to line up. An older man in Ministry robes stood at door to the Great Hall with a clipboard in his hand.

“Alphabetical order, please! By surname!” piped the old wizard named Twycross who had led their Apparition lessons. “We’ll bring you in in small groups and the rest will wait outside until you are called in! While you’re inside, please do your best to remain silent while the people before you are being tested! Thank you!”

There was awkward chatter and everyone tried to form a single file line in alphabetical order. Hermione waved goodbye to Remus as she and Lily made their way closer to the front. Near the front of the line she spotted Doris standing behind Sirius and Hermione had to suppress a laugh at the look of annoyance on both of their faces.

Hermione ended up behind Sarah Connelly from Hufflepuff. Nervously, she pulled the leaflet back out to scan over it as the first group of students were shuffled into the Great Hall.

“Hermione Dawson, right?” said a voice behind her and she turned to see Marcus Donner.

“Oh, um, yes,” she answered awkwardly, folding up her leaflet.

“Marcus Donner,” he introduced himself with a grin, holding out his hand. “I don’t think we’ve ever officially met.”

“No, I suppose we haven’t,” she said, shaking his hand.

“Mary speaks very highly of you,” said Marcus with a small nod.

That touched her, and Hermione smiled graciously at him. “That’s very kind of you to say. You should hear the lovely things she says about you.”

A hint of a blush spread across his cheeks and he immediately looked bashful. “Does she really? That’s good to hear…” the corner of his lips twitched upwards.

He turned around to look near the middle of the line where Mary stood. When Mary noticed him, she beamed at the sight of both Hermione and Marcus, waving slightly.

Directly behind her stood Claudia, who was leaning around to the front of Mary to speak to Remus. The smile fell from Hermione’s face and she quickly turned around and unfolded her leaflet, looking back down at it to make herself look busy.

“Nervous?” asked Marcus with a friendly tone. “I know I am.”

“You could say that,” mumbled Hermione.

A sound came from inside the Great Hall and Hermione and Marcus both looked over in its direction.

“WOO!” yelled out a voice as soon as the doors swung open. “GUESS WHO CAN APPARATE?”

Sirius strut out in front of the first group that had entered to take their tests as they walked back into the Entrance Hall. Both Doris and Avery were staring daggers at him as he waved his results above his head.

“It’s official!” he sang across the hall. He practically skipped down the line of waiting students trying to high-five everyone. The only people who entertained him was an embarrassed looking Remus and a thrilled looking James.

When he had disappeared into the Grand Staircase with one final booming “WOO!” there was an awkward silence until Mary broke it.

“What an idiot,” she called out, making the rest of the line laugh.

Only one more group went in before Hermione’s group was called into the Great Hall. There was about five of them in her group, but it made her feel better that Lily ended up in there with her. Just the sight of her seemed to calm Hermione’s nerves a bit.

The inside of the hall looked a lot like how it had appeared during lessons. All of the tables had been removed and were replaces with mats and floor markers. But unlike during the lessons, there was only one hoop laying on the floor rather than one for each of the students.

There was another instructor standing with a clipboard by a floor marker on the complete opposite side of the hall. Twycross began lining them up along the wall near the door, close to where the singular hoop lay. It was clear that they had tried their best to make as much use out of the space given to them, but Hermione swore she heard Twycross mumbling complaints to himself about having the test inside a constricted room as he made his way back to the front of the line.

“You will all wait in this line until your name is called,” said Twycross loudly this time so the group could hear him. “After you are tested, you will receive your results and then wait over there—” he pointed towards a row of benches on the other side of the door. “–Until everyone in your group has finished. Then you will all be dismissed together.”

There were murmurs of acknowledgment from their small group and Twycross gave them all a nod. Hermione watched as Sarah Connelly was called up by the other instructor to take her test. Anxiety was now fully flowing through Hermione’s body as she watched Sarah apparate into the hoop and then walk over to the benches with her parchment results.

“Dawson, Hermione!” called out the Ministry witch who was standing on the other side of the hall.

Hermione took a deep breath and walked across the Great Hall to the witch. The walk was farther than she had expected, and every step seemed to echo around the nearly empty room. Hermione was suddenly very aware that every pair of eyes were directly focused on her.

“Okay, just stand here on this ‘X’. Yes, just like that, dear,” said the witch, positioning Hermione on a large, taped X on the floor. The instructor pulled her by the shoulders until she faced the hoop that was placed on the other side of the hall. By the hoop, stood Twycross, also with a clipboard, who was staring at her expectantly.

From across the room, Hermione saw Lily giving her two encouraging thumbs up. Having Lily there had initially given her comfort, but now just made Hermione feel worse. Knowing she had to fail the test but still make it look believable left a bad taste in her mouth. All of her friends had seen her in the practice lessons do it perfectly. She was going to have to make it as close as possible.

“Whenever you’re ready,” said the instructor with a nod.

With one final deep breath, Hermione tried to focus on the hoop; not the inside of it, but slightly to the side. In her mind she vividly pictured the edges, seeing her foot just slightly cross over the boundary. If she was too far out of the hoop it would look like she threw the test on purpose. She wondered if Lily would believe it if she did.

So, she had to make it look accidental. She had to make it look real. She had to make sure she didn’t accidentally make it into the hoop and actually pass…

Here goes nothing… she thought to herself. Remember the three D’s… Destination, Determination, Deliberation… Destination, Determination, Deliberation…

Focusing with all her might, there was a crack and Hermione felt the room around her spin. Everything went dark and she felt the familiar sensation of being pulled as if squeezing down a tube. The feeling didn’t last long, and suddenly she felt her feet touch back down on solid ground.

Her heart was beating in her ears as she slowly opened her eyes and looked down. Her shoe was over the line by not even a centimetre.

A heavy breath escaped her body and she looked up at Twycross who stood by with a clipboard, quickly scribbling away on it as he peered down at her feet. With a sad smile, he handed her the sheet of parchment for her results.

“FAILED” was written in big letters at the bottom of the page.

She should have felt relieved. Everything had gone exactly to plan, but instead there was only resentment. It was entirely unfair. By failing on purpose by such a slim margin, Hermione had proven to herself she could apparate perfectly, and yet it didn’t matter.

The thought of it brought her anger bubbling back to the surface. No matter how many of Dumbledore’s rules she followed, it would never be enough, and he’d never allow her to live a somewhat normal life as he continued to unsuccessfully find a way for her to go home.

It was like all of her emotions were beginning to suffocate her. Anger, embarrassment, fear, exhaustion, and misery all fought to take a hold of her body. She felt entirely hollow as she tried to suck in a breath, but there was no air to breathe.

Hermione turned on her heel and rushed towards the door of the Great Hall, ignoring the benches where Sarah Connelly was seated.

“Hermione, wait!” called out Lily, but what she supposed to do? Her turn was coming up soon and it wasn’t as though she could leave the line.

Technically, they were supposed to be let out in the groups they entered in, so when Hermione stepped into the Entrance Hall, all eyes fell on her. There were scattered looks of confusion at the sight of her by herself, but the first thing Hermione noticed was Claudia still talking with Remus. Like everyone else, his head turned to look at her and his eyes went wide with shock. She briefly saw confused looks from Mary, Michelle, and James, spread out down the line, but her eyes traveled back to Remus and Claudia in the middle.

“Hermione?” Remus questioned. Concern flooded his face but Hermione quickly looked away from them and continued towards the front door of the castle.

Hermione welcomed the warm breeze and fresh air as she stepped back outside. Inhaling deeply, she let her shoulders slump as she closed her eyes and tilted her face towards the sky. The sunlight soaked into her face as she forced herself to focus on her breathing, desperately trying to keep herself from either crying or screaming.

The only thing cutting down her anger was the beautiful weather. Because Hermione was angry. She was still angry from that last meeting with Dumbledore. Angry that Dumbledore continued to patronize her. Angry he forced her to humiliate herself by failing on purpose. Angry that he wouldn’t let her leave but not let her have a full life. Angry that he continued to not allow her to change things…

“Only time will tell” Dumbledore had said.

What a load of rubbish.

She wondered what would have happened if she had, in fact, passed the test? What would have happened then? Would Dumbledore have intervened and gotten the results thrown out? Would it have forced him to somehow get the Ministry to acknowledge her existence? Or maybe it would have just landed her in a whole lot of trouble, but with Dumbledore as well as the Ministry…

A light breeze rustled through her hair, bringing the scent of spring with it and Hermione sighed and opened her eyes to stare at the green grounds around her. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do now, so she began walking back to the bench she had been sitting on earlier with Lily. She had only made it halfway across the grass when a hand grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around.

“What- Remus?” gasped Hermione at the sight of him. “What are you doing here?”

Remus stood panting slightly, staring at her with bewilderment.

“I had to come and check on you,” he said quickly, looking over his shoulder towards the castle then back at her. “Hermione, what happened?”

Without a word, Hermione shoved the parchment in his direction. He looked at her questioningly as he took it in his hands. As his eyes quickly scanned the parchment, his frown grew bigger.

“Ah, Hermione…” he groaned, looking back up at her sadly.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, taking back the parchment. “But you need to go back, your test is coming up soon…”

He waved his hand dismissively towards the castle behind him.

“That’s not what matters right now,” he said firmly, but his eyes were soft as he stared into her own.

It was such a kind thing to say, suggesting that she was the thing that mattered most in that moment. It felt like a piece of her broke in that moment, and against her better judgement, Hermione stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his middle. In an instant, his arms pulled her tightly into him and immediately Hermione felt herself relax into his chest. Everything about him seemed to comfort her in ways she didn’t quite understand. Oh how she had missed the feeling of his embrace these last few weeks. She had missed the comfort from her best friend.

He leaned his head on top of her own, and Hermione silently just breathed him in. The familiar faint scent of chocolate as well as parchment was on his robes, and between that and the smell of the spring air and grassy grounds everything felt perfect.

“I just wish I could have been able to pass it,” she confessed into his robes with a small sigh.

“I know, I know,” he said, rubbing his hand in small circles on her back.

“It’s just so embarrassing.”

“It’s only the first test,” he said soothingly into her hair “You’ll have more chances to take it again in the future.”

She had started nodding at his logic until what he had actually said sunk in and she was struck with dread. Hermione jerked out of his embrace so suddenly it was like she had been electrocuted. There was no way for Remus to have known what he had just implied, but it was an abrupt reminder of all the reasons why she had wanted to distance herself in the first place.

Remus looked down at her with a mix of shock and confusion as the door to the castle opened. James’s head peaked out, scanning the grounds until his eyes spotted Remus.

“Remus, the group before yours just went in!” he called out.

Panic spread across Remus’s face and he looked back at Hermione. “Right.. er- stay here, okay?”

“What?” she said blankly, still feeling dazed from her emotional whiplash.

“Just wait here for me, alright? Please? I’ll come right back after the test. Please, just wait for me.”

His green eyes had a sense of pleading in them and Hermione’s heart immediately melted, dispelling all of the horror she had just felt. How could she possibly say no to him?

“Sure,” was all she could get out.

He reached out and took hold of her upper arm for just a moment to give in a quick squeeze before he turned and sprinted up the slope towards the castle.

Hermione sadly made her way back to the bench she had been sitting on earlier. A warm breeze tickled through her hair and she took a deep breath and leaned backwards, holding the stone bench for support as she closed her eyes, letting the feeling of the wind take over.

She couldn’t believe Remus had come after her. Well, actually, she could believe it. Wasn’t that just the type of person he was? One of the reasons she liked him so much? Why did everything have to be so complicated?

But, crush or not, he was still her best friend and she missed him. She’d be able to handle pushing those feelings aside because having him as a friend was better than not at all. Afterall, she had never let Ron know she had liked him. Why should anything have to change? Why should she try to avoid him? She’d be able to ignore it for the sake of being able to keep Remus close. Not to mention, she was so close to finally finishing becoming an animagus to be able to join him on full moons… She had come too far to give up.

She just needed to convince herself that these past few weeks of odd behavior and avoidances were just more ripples in that stream Dumbledore seemed so fond of. An audible groan escaped her as she thought about it. Her anger from before had finally begun to lessen, and the last thing she needed to think about right then was Dumbledore.

As time went by, more and more of her classmates came back outside as their tests finished. There were looks of excitement all around on their faces as they waved around their passing results while enjoying the beautiful afternoon off from class.

Some would steal glances at her as she sat on the bench and whisper as they stared in her direction. It must have been hot gossip that Hermione Dawson, one of the top students in their class, had failed her test. The feeling of shame and embarrassment returned and she suddenly wished she hadn’t agreed to wait for Remus outside and instead wished she could escape somewhere in the castle.

Perhaps she should have told him she’d be waiting for him in their room. They hadn’t been there since before Easter holiday over a month ago now. But then she would have had to walk back inside and past all her classmates still waiting to be test. This was probably for the best.

It took about half an hour until the doors to the castle opened and Remus came walking out. A look of relief washed over his face when he spotted her.

“I wasn’t sure you’d still be here,” said Remus as he walked up to the bench she was sitting on.

“I told you I would be,” blinked Hermione.

“Yeah, but I was worried…”

He looked at her with a sad smile that tugged at her heart.

“So, did you pass?” asked Hermione.

“Uh… yeah I did,” Remus said with a shrug, looking embarrassed.

“Oh, congratulations, Remus!”

“It’s really not that big of a deal…”

“Yes it is! Just because I didn’t pass doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be allowed to celebrate that you did. That’s a wonderful accomplishment!”

“It just doesn’t feel right,” muttered Remus. “And after I said you’d be the sure one to pass…”

Hermione shook her head. “It’s over and done. You should be proud of yourself.”

“Thank you,” he said genuinely, and Hermione smiled back.

He looked around the grounds and noticed some of their classmates staring at the two of them, some still whispering. Hermione felt herself flush.

“Uh, let’s take a walk,” he said, cocking his head farther down the sloped path.

Wanting nothing more than to be away from prying eyes, Hermione eagerly nodded and stood up from the bench. She followed Remus as they passed the few groups of students out on the grass but Hermione kept her vision focused directly in front of her.

They continued to walk down until they reached the lake and Hermione had to admire the view. The sun was reflecting off of the soft ripples that spread across the calm water. She was glad that they had had their Apparition Test that afternoon; most of the rest of the castle was still in class. It was so quiet and peaceful out by the lake without another person in sight.

Hermione was then abruptly aware that this was the first time she had truly been alone with Remus since Flourish and Blotts. It wasn’t as difficult as she thought it would be. If anything, walking side by side along the edge of the lake felt normal and comfortable with his presence. Maybe nothing did have to change.

“I just don’t understand,” said Remus, shaking his head. “You always did so well in practice and Twycross knows that. Making you fail for not even a full toe over the line is just unfair.”

He hadn’t been in the room when she had failed so Hermione looked up at him questionably and Remus smiled apologetically.

“Sorry, Lily told me what happened.”

Of course she had. He seemed to notice her discomfort and he groaned slightly. “I’m sorry, Hermione. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You aren’t what upset me,” Hermione assured him, smiling wearily. “Not by a long shot.”

No, that had been Dumbledore.

They continued to walk until they reached a shaded area beneath a large tree that was hanging over the water and Remus led them both towards it. The tree looked ancient, with a thick trunk and exposed roots protruding from the mix of dirt and grass below it. It was big enough that if they sat against it they’d be hidden from the main path, and Hermione wondered if Remus had picked it specifically for that reason.

“After you,” said Remus with a grin, gesturing towards the base of the tree.

He held out his hand and Hermione smiled as she took it, the warmth of his hand feeling nice in her own. Gently, he helped her sit at the base of the tree and Hermione pulled her knees into her body, resting her feet on the roots in front of her.

With his crooked smile, Remus walked closer to the edge of the water and picked up a stone. He flipped it over a few times in his hand before lazily tossing it into the lake. The rock hit the water with a soft ‘plop!’ and disappeared under the surface. Ripples quickly spread out in growing circles across the water, and Hermione stared, mesmerized. It was all very ironic how the world around her seemed to constantly mock her.

“I hope it didn’t hit the Giant Squid,” said Remus suddenly, sounding slightly nervous at the idea of upsetting the giant cephalopod.

“Hm?” she said absentmindedly as she watched the waves from the stone slowly blend back in with the ordinary lake ripples.

“I said, I hope I didn’t hit the squid with the rock.”

“Oh. I think you’d know by now if you did,” said Hermione with a smirk.

“I think you’re right,” chucked Remus, and Hermione couldn’t help but laugh with him.

Remus walked back up towards the tree and sat down beside Hermione and stretched his long legs out in front of him. He leaned back against the tree trunk, their shoulders touching slightly as he too looked out over the lake.

“So, if Lily told you what happened, where is she now?” Hermione asked.

“I think she wanted to give you space, but she definitely seemed upset on your behalf,” said Remus. “She was still in the Entrance Hall when I finished my test. She told me she was going to wait for Mary and Claudia’s group to finish to see how they do.”

Hermione had to keep herself from scrunching up her face at the mention of Claudia. But then maybe it was a good thing he had brought her up.

“You and Claudia seem to be getting a lot closer lately,” said Hermione carefully. “She’s very nice.”

“Yeah, I supposed she is nice,” said Remus vaguely as they both continued to look out over the lake in front of them. “I don’t really know her very well.”

“Have you ever thought about asking her out?” she asked casually.

Remus’s body jerked with shock and he turned to stare at her blankly.

“What?”

“Claudia Mahoney,” repeated Hermione, hoping she sounded nonchalant. “You both seemed rather friendly before the test.”

“I don’t like her like that,” he answered stiffly.

Hermione had to fight the smile that threatened to form on her face at that information, but she had to remind herself that it would be better if he were interested in someone else. Having him be with anyone else would be the perfect reminder to her that she wasn’t supposed to be there or supposed to be with him. If Hermione couldn’t be with him, then he should at least know about a girl that could. That’s what a good friend would do, right?

“How do you expect to get to know if you like someone if you don’t ask them on a date?” she asked.

Remus said nothing for a moment, and Hermione wondered if it meant he silently agreed, but instead he spoke with a soft tone. “There are other ways to know you like someone without ever dating them.”

His words made her heart beat faster, but it only filled her with sadness. She looked back out at the water and saw him do the same out of the corner of her eye. He certainly wasn’t wrong about that…

“Well,” she said, letting out a small cough to clear her throat. “I think you should ask her out.”

His head slowly turned to look at her, and his expression was unreadable. “You do?”

Hermione nodded and continued to look forward, not daring to look him in his eyes. She probably would have lost her nerve if she had. “It’s always worth a shot.”

“I’ve never thought of her like that.”

It was hard to believe any guys in their year hadn’t considered Claudia Mahoney like that, but she didn’t think Remus would lie to her about it. Maybe for some odd reason he hadn’t really noticed her. She had surely noticed him.

“She’s had a bit of a crush on you for a while now,” Hermione admitted.

“For a while now? What makes you say that?”

“She told me,” shrugged Hermione.

“She told you? When?” he gasped.

“Well, not directly,” admitted Hermione, not feeling particularly thrilled by his new sense of interest. “But on our first Hogsmeade trip she mentioned how she thought you were very good looking. And she obviously wanted to spend time with you back in January that day you made snowmen… And then she was upset after Valentine’s Day because she had hoped you might ask her.”

Remus looked dumbfounded by this information, and he swallowed deeply before sighing.

“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable… or overstep in anyway… I just thought you deserved to know,” Hermione said after he didn’t say anything for a while.

“I’m just thinking,” he sighed. “What you said does make sense.”

“It does?”

“It explains how she was acting in Flourish and Blotts on our last day of holiday.”

Hermione’s stomach dropped at the mention of that moment. Remus must have mistaken her silence for confusion because he turned to look back at her with a weary smile.

“Not long after you left the shop she came in and was friendlier than I expected,” he said, and Hermione swore his face had turned a little pink. “I wasn’t sure if she was just being nice or if she was flirting…”

Ah, so he finally brought it up. Hermione had been wondering why it had never come up over the last two weeks. Not on the train, not at meals or after classes. It made her wonder if he had been purposely keeping it a secret. Now she wondered if he really had just seen it as so inconsequential it wasn’t worth a mention. It was quite endearing how he was so oblivious to other’s affections, although in her case it was ideal.

“I’d wager a guess it was the latter,” said Hermione.

“That’s what James, Sirius, and Peter thought too after I told them.”

This confused her. So he had brought it up, just not with her. Interesting.

“And what did they say?” asked Hermione, genuinely curious to hear the answer.

“They thought I was blind,” said Remus, shaking his head.

Hermione laughed softly to herself. “Well, you kind of are.”

The corner of his lip twitched and he leaned his head back against the tree trunk. “Perhaps all of you are right.”

“I’m always right.”

It was Remus’s turn to laugh. “Again, you aren’t wrong.”

“You know, if you ever needed advice with girls, I could always try to help. If you haven’t noticed, I happen to be one,” said Hermione, hoping her tone came across as teasing rather than pained.

“I know you’re a girl, Hermione,” said Remus, rolling his eyes.

“And as a girl, I think Claudia would be thrilled if you asked her out,” said Hermione, feeling her mouth grow drier with each word.

“I don’t know…”

“Something to consider then,” Hermione said.

“I guess I can… consider it…” Remus said slowly. He gazed out at the lake, a distant look on his face. “If you really think I should.”

“I do,” Hermione lied.

Remus slowly nodded to himself.

“I’m surprised you didn’t say anything about seeing her to me before now,” Hermione said truthfully.

“We haven’t had much of a chance to speak the last few weeks, have we?” he smiled weakly.

“I’m sorry about that,” mumbled Hermione.

And she was. She wished more than anything that she could talk to him about everything going on. If anyone would understand it would be him; her only real form of comfort since she had arrived in the past. How unfortunate that the person she felt most comfortable with, who always reassured her and listened to her, was the main person, aside from Dumbledore, that she could not speak to about her newest internal dilemma of the heart. It just felt like another lie, and she hated lying to him.

Hermione sighed and leaned over and placed her head on his shoulder. She probably shouldn’t have done it, but leaning on him always just felt so right, and he never seemed to mind before. But, if he did ask out Claudia, that would probably be the last time she’d be able to do it. The thought of it twisted at her stomach. How odd to be jealous of a girlfriend he didn’t even have.

They sat there in silence, watching the water before Remus shifted slightly and spoke.

“Hermione, can I ask you something?” asked Remus, looking down at her on his shoulder.

“Anything,” she said.

“Did something happen when you were at James’s house?” asked Remus.

Hermione arched her head up on his shoulder to get a better look at his face. His brows were furrowed and that look of concern he had been wearing for the last two weeks had reappeared.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“You all may think I’m blind, but I do notice some things,” he said. “You’ve been acting strange ever since the train ride back.”

“Nothing bad happened at James’s. It was actually a really lovely time.”

“And it has nothing to do with Sirius?”

“I promise you, Remus, nothing bad happened at the Potters’, and no, I’m not still angry with Sirius,” she insisted.

“I’ve just been really worried about you,” said Remus. He gently placed his hand on her knee and gave it a squeeze, which Hermione also felt squeeze her heart.

“There’s no need to worry…” muttered Hermione.

“I feel like there is,” said Remus, looking at her seriously. “I know studying isn’t out of the ordinary for you, but something just… feels different. I can’t quite put my finger on it.”

“Everything has just been really stressful lately,” she half confessed, and Remus nodded understandingly.

“I’ve really missed you,” Remus said in such a soft tone that Hermione’s stomach fluttered.

“I’m right here,” she said, raising her head off of his shoulder and looking at him.

“Maybe physically, but lately you’ve been somewhere else. You’ve been so quiet and distant, not to mention eating less and looking as though you’re barely sleeping.”

It would have touched her that he had noticed, but she only felt more miserable.

“I always get like this when exams near,” Hermione said smoothly, hugging herself a bit tighter into her knees and focusing hard on the water in front of them.

“If you say so,” he said lightly. “But if there’s something bothering you, you do know you can always tell me, right?”

Hermione looked back at him and took in the sincerity in his expression. The faintest of crooked smiles was on his lips while his green eyes looked at her sadly. The breeze was blowing his sandy hair fringe across his forehead and into his eyes. He really was quite handsome, beautiful really, and she couldn’t believe it had taken her so long to fully notice.

“I know, and I will,” said Hermione. “Truthfully, I’ve missed you too.”

“I’m right here,” he said with a cheeky smirk.

“Ha ha,” said Hermione dryly, rolling her eyes but smiling, nonetheless.

Remus’s grin widened.

“If your time really was so nice though I’d love to hear more about it. Letters can only say so much,” he said.

“Did you want to go to our room tonight?” asked Hermione. “We haven’t had a chance to go since break. And if I remember correctly, I promised we’d have a chance to catch up together.”

Remus’s face fell into a deep frown.

“Tonight? I really wish I could,” said Remus, looking genuinely upset with himself. “But Lily and I have Prefect rounds…”

The rejection was bittersweet in a way. While she was handling being around him much easier than she had initially thought, maybe she shouldn’t be pushing her luck. She was going to have to stop acting oddly though.

“I’m sure we’ll find another opportunity some other time,” she said with a sad smile.

“The full moon is in a few days,” said Remus bitterly. “It might not be until after that.”

“Then it’ll have to wait until after that,” she said simply.

“Hermione! Remus!”

The voice came from a short distance away and they both jumped

The two of them looked up the hill to see Lily running towards them with James hot on her heels. Lily’s eyes were wide and panicked as she ran with one arm waving wildly above her.

“Lily? James?” called out Remus, and Hermione could hear alarm in his voice. A similar sense of panic went through her as Remus pulled himself to his feet.

“There you are!” James said as they reached them at the lake bank. “We’ve been looking for you two for ages!”

“What’s wrong?” asked Hermione, slowly standing up and taking in the horrified expressions on both James and Lily’s faces.

“It’s Mary,” said Lily, her shoulders slumping as she caught her breath. “She splinched herself.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 30 - Two Hearts

When Hermione, Remus, James, and Lily arrived at the Hospital Wing, they saw about a third of their class crowded around Mary’s hospital bed. Somehow, Mary had managed to leave her entire leg behind during her test. Normally that wouldn’t have been much of an issue – during their very first lesson, Joana Kelley had apparated without some fingers and the Heads of House had fixed her almost instantly – but during the test the Heads of House had all been teaching lessons.

Apparently, as soon as Mary realized her leg was still on the other side of the room, she had panicked and tried to replace it herself. Unfortunately, Mary hadn’t done it properly and instead of reattaching her leg fully intact, she reattached it while managing to vanish the bones in the process. According to Claudia, who was in her group and now sitting at the end of her hospital bed, Mary had moved faster than Twycross and the other Ministry instructor could react. By the time they were both at her side, the bones were completely gone.

To Hermione, the sight of Mary’s limp, boneless leg, looked grotesque as it bent in all the wrong directions, like it was made from rubber. It brought her back to seeing Harry’s arm when they were in second year and it made her stomach turn. But Mary didn’t seem particularly bothered by any of it and was happily chatting to all her friends with Marcus glued to her side, clutching her hand. It wasn’t until Madam Pomfrey gave her the Skele-Gro potion that her mindset on the situation seemed to change.

Marcus promised to stay by her bedside all night while her bones regrew, but Madam Pomfrey wasn’t having any of it. Yelling that Mary was in for a rough and painful night, she kicked all of them out the Hospital Wing.

Sirius was rather bitter for missing all the ‘fun’ after they tracked him and Peter down in the common room. He complained the entire time as the six of them made their way to dinner, which ended up being a rather sullen affair after the long day.

It was quiet in the dormitory when Hermione got there that night, which made it perfect for the nightly animagus ritual. Normally Hermione would have to find somewhere else to perform the spell; an abandoned classroom or the lavatory, but Mary was still in the Hospital Wing from splinching herself and Lily was off doing Prefect rounds with Remus. That left Hermione with the whole room to herself.

“Amato Animo Animato Animagus,” Hermione murmured with her wand tip on her chest, just as she had done every morning and night since they planted the animagus potion.

Then, for the first time in the weeks she had been doing the spell every sunrise and sunset, she felt it ever so slightly. A low rhythmic drumming deep within her chest, slowly becoming more noticeable.

A second heartbeat.

It had startled her so much she nearly dropped her wand to the floor. A second heartbeat! That meant everything she had done so far had been correct! As soon as she could go back to James’s house this summer and wait for an electrical storm… she could become an animagus.

Her heartrate increased with her excitement – both of them – and she quickly tore out of the room, hoping the others were in their dormitory. What luck that Remus was off doing rounds!

Without warning, Hermione opened the door to the boys’ dormitory and burst into the room. She stopped short when she noticed James, Sirius, and Peter were not sitting on their beds, but instead were sprawled out on the ground in front of the heating oven.

“You’ve let her get too comfortable here, Prongs,” said Sirius, not even bothering to look up from where he, James, and Peter rested on the floor, playing a game of Exploding Snap. “Look at her… she doesn’t even knock anymore…”

Hermione ignored his statement.

“I felt the second heartbeat!” she blurted out, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet.

“What?” gasped Sirius.

A card he had just picked up from the pile in front of him exploded into his face and Sirius swore.

“Just now?” asked James with excitement as Sirius coughed and spluttered. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and beamed at her.

“Yes! Just as I was doing the sunset spell!” she grinned, wiping away the puff of smoke that got near her face. “It feels so strange…”

It felt as though her heart was beating at double the speed now, but if she focused hard she could differentiate them. The new one still felt very distant, but it was beating much faster than her usual heart had ever beat. She wondered if it had to do with her excitement or if it would always be that fast.

“Sooner or later you’ll forget it’s even there,” said James, beaming.

“Can you visualize what you’ll turn into yet?” asked Peter.

Hermione shook her head. “No not yet, but this is still a good sign, right?”

“A great sign!” exclaimed James.

“And you don’t normally see the animal in your head until the potion is complete anyway,” said Sirius, also grinning now as he wiped soot from the exploding card from his face.

“And now,” said James sounding like an excited child. “We wait for lightning to strike!”

Hermione was beaming from ear to ear. After everything that had happened that day, she couldn’t imagine it ending on a better note.

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

“I’ve spent way too much time in this hospital this week,” said James, lounging back in one of the chairs around Remus’s hospital bed.

“Speak for yourself,” said Remus weakly. “I’m the one not allowed to leave.”

Remus bit off a piece of a chocolate bar, willing his pain to stop.

“That’s true. Mary got to leave the next morning,” said Peter. “You’re pushing your third day.”

“Exactly. Thank you for understanding, Peter,” said Remus between chews.

“It was sweet that you and Lily went to visit her often, James,” Hermione said to James.

“Well, just be glad Macdonald’s not here anymore. It would have been hard to sneak in here under her nosey nose,” said Sirius

“Her ‘nosey nose’, Sirius?” said Hermione with a raised eyebrow. “That’s the best you can do?”

“Give me a minute, I’ll come up with something better…”

“Or don’t,” said James with a smirk.

Remus leaned further back in the hospital bed as another jab of pain went through his head. It was now the second night since the full moon that he had to stay in hospital and he was beginning to get antsy. The transformation has been a bit rougher than his past few, and Madam Pomfrey had still refused to let him leave. It was probably for the best; his emotions were definitely still heightened and there was lingering pain, but having to stay annoyed him. His quick recovery from the full moon before the holiday had spoiled him and he was still feeling absolutely miserable, just wishing the pain would stop and he could leave.

What bothered him the most was still not having had time to go to the Room of Requirement and the sooner he was released, the sooner he could go with Hermione back to their room. Although, even if on the off-chance Madam Pomfrey released him that night, it would be too late. He was surprised she hadn’t come to kick his friends out yet as it was growing later and later with curfew rapidly approaching. But even though it was a late Thursday night with classes early in the next morning, Hermione, James, Sirius, and Peter sat loyally around his bedside.

“I’ll think of something because Moony deserves to be entertained,” said Sirius.

“Or, we can spend our time making sure he doesn’t fall behind,” said Hermione with a small nod, lifting up her schoolbag onto her lap. “We have yet to even discuss what he’s missed in class and exams are so soon.”

Remus suppressed a grin as Sirius looked horrified at her.

“I have your Ancient Runes notes right here, as well as Charms,” continued Hermione, pulling out notebook after notebook from the bag and placing them on his bedside table. “And James said he took your notes for Divination yesterday morning.”

Remus watched her with amusement as she continued to stack up the notes from the past few days. He loved how enthralled she was with her studies, even if it had meant he barely saw her the last few weeks. Her passion was unmatched.

“I thought it was Sirius’s turn to do Divination notes,” said Remus with a weak smile.

“Hard to take notes if you’re asleep,” said Peter with a snort.

Hermione sent Sirius a pointed look and Remus laughed.

“Perhaps you shouldn’t sleep in class then, Sirius,” said Hermione with narrowed eyes.

“Oi, we were up late the night before!” defended Sirius. “Plus, it’s easy for you to say not to sleep in Divination… You aren’t in it. It’s proper boring. Have you ever done Ovomancy? Imagine just having to crack eggs all morning and try to have them tell the future. It’s barmy!”

“No, I haven’t done Ovomancy,” said Hermione coolly, taking out one last notebook and adding it to the stack. “And for good reason. Divination is a ridiculous subject and I don’t need to be wasting my time trying to see the future in an egg, teacup, or whatever someone just stepped in, thank you very much.”

“Exactly! Now you know why it’s more useful for me to catch up on my sleep!”

“No, you should have taken a more respectable subject.” scolded Hermione. She grabbed hold of the Ancient Runes notebook and held it close to her chest. “Now Ancient Runes is fascinating!”

“I thought you said you didn’t want me to sleep?” snorted Sirius.

Hermione scowled at him.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk badly about a class before,” said Peter to Hermione.

“That’s because most classes actually teach facts, not fiction,” Hermione scoffed with her nose in the air.

The corner of Remus’s mouth twitched.

“Which is why you like Ancient Runes and Arithmancy. There’s solid proof for everything,” he said.

Hermione looked at him, seeming impressed.

“Exactly!” She put his notes back in the pile and pulled out her Ancient Runes textbook and flipped it open, hungrily skimming the pages. “It’s fascinating how these runic scriptures can be translated into their own alphabet or even as logograms! Think of all the wizarding knowledge that has been translated from hundreds of years ago that we would never know about without this subject.”

“Knowledge to unlock knowledge,” said Remus and Hermione grinned.

“Precisely!”

“And then you like Arithmancy because it is measurable and palpable,” said Remus.

Hermione nodded eagerly.

“Unlike… Divination–” started Hermione, and she made a face at just mentioning the class. “–Arithmancy uses facts to predict the future. Magical patterns and probabilities in numbers, not crystal balls and tea leaves. It’s far more precise and backed in science and allows one to be analytical… logical. There’s no guesswork; there’s thought and calculation.”

“Not to mention muggles have their own version of it, albeit without the magic…” said Remus with a laugh.

“Yes, they do,” said Hermione with a curious smile as she looked at him.

“No wonder it’s your favorite subject,” smiled Remus with a nod.

Hermione’s smile widened and she looked at him so affectionately that his chest tightened.

“That’s right, it is.”

They held each other’s gaze and Remus grinned, looking at her warm brown eyes twinkling in the torchlight from her excitement. She was so beautiful.

There was a cough and Remus turned to look at Sirius looking back and forth between him and Hermione.

“What?” asked Remus.

“Are you done salivating over runes and maths?” Sirius sighed.

Remus rolled his eyes. “Sure, Pads, we’re done…”

“Good,” said Sirius with a nod and then he turned to Hermione. “Okay, Hermione, time to go.”

“What?” said Hermione, clearly startled. “We’re leaving already?”

“Not ‘we’. You,” said Sirius.

Hermione’s mouth dropped open.

“What? Why? We haven’t even started going over notes with Remus!”

“Why does she have to go?” asked Remus with a frown.

“Because we need to have a Marauders chat,” said Sirius.

Remus looked at James and Peter hoping for some sort of explanation, but they looked equally as confused.

“I don’t see why she has to leave,” said Remus, and Hermione nodded at Sirius and crossed her arms.

“Trust me, this is strictly Marauders’ business,” said Sirius.

Hermione looked between the four of them and huffed before standing.

“Fine,” snapped Hermione, slamming her book shut and slinging her bag over her shoulder. She sent Sirius a nasty glare as she reached for the curtain surrounding Remus’s bed before turning back to them. “I guess I’ll go study on my own.”

“The library is already closed,” said James as she pulled back the curtain.

“Then I’ll have to go somewhere where no one can bother me,” she said smugly, and Remus immediately knew what she meant. He wished more than anything he were allowed to follow her out.

Remus smiled at her apologetically and Hermione returned it with a weary smile of her own. Her wild hair whipped around as she turned and stomped out of the room.

“What did you do that for?” demanded Remus as soon as he heard the large hospital doors click shut. “She’s been so distant lately and acting strange and then you kick her out when she finally wants to spend time with us?”

“Because we need to talk,” said Sirius. “Alone.”

“What on earth for?” asked Remus, feeling the pain in his head intensify. He couldn’t imagine there was anything he couldn’t say in front of Hermione at this point. Not to mention, Sirius knew how much Remus wanted her around. To just kick her out and upset her more…

“Remus…” said James in a soft voice.

Remus looked at him and saw concern on his face. He followed James’s gaze to his hands and realized they were balled into fists and shaking slightly at his sides. Shame washed through him and he unclenched his hands and took a long breath.

“Better?” asked James.

“Yes,” nodded Remus, focusing on another breath as the stinging in his head lessened. He hated how out of control his emotions got before and after a transformation. He quickly took another bite of his chocolate bar.

“Because I can’t just sit there and ignore the way she looks at you and not say anything,” said Sirius, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs, looking quite pleased with himself.

“That’s what was so important that you had to get her to leave?” demanded Remus, rolling his eyes.

“Did you want me to bring it up in front of her?”

“No, you shouldn’t be bringing it up at all because you don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Remus irritably.

“Oh please, I can’t be the only one here with eyes!” said Sirius, looking around at the three of them. “Did no one else see the way she was just looking at him? Or the way they look at each other all the time? Please! It’s so obvious!”

“He’s got a bit of a point,” said Peter. “That was rather… intimate.”

Remus felt himself flush.

“Exactly! Then she sometimes goes all weird around you, or defensive when you’re brought up…” continued Sirius.

“I still think she acts strange because she had something to hide,” said Peter quietly.

Sirius rounded on him. “We’re back on this again? We’ve known her long enough to be able to trust her.”

Peter just shrugged so Sirius turned back to Remus.

“She obviously fancies you! Maybe that’s what she’s hiding!”

“No, she doesn’t,” said Remus through gritted teeth.

“Yeah? And how are you so sure?” challenged Sirius.

“Because she told me to ask out Claudia Mahoney,” snapped Remus. “Bit weird of someone who likes you to tell you to go out with someone else.”

His remark seemed to stun Sirius to silence.

“I’m sorry, Remus,” James said looking at him with pity.

“It’s alright,” muttered Remus, feeling his chest ache.

“Maybe she said it to make him jealous and see how he would react,” suggested Sirius after a moment.

“Does Hermione seem like the type to play games like that?” asked James, and Remus had to agree with him. It didn’t seem like something she would do at all.

“I don’t know then! I can’t make sense of her telling you to ask Mahoney out. But it must have crushed her to do so,” said Sirius, crossing his arms.

“Maybe you should ask Claudia out, Remus. She clearly likes you,” said James slowly.

Remus knew that James wouldn’t have suggested it if he hadn’t meant it, and his stomach turned.

“And give up on Hermione,” stated Remus in a low voice.

James sighed.

“Look, mate. Personally, I’d love to see you and Hermione get together. Really, I would. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people more in sync in my life. But if you don’t make a move to try to find out then you’re just wasting your time,” said James. “Either you chance it and do something about it, or you need to move on. This isn’t healthy.”

Remus simply nodded. Maybe James was right. Maybe they were all right. Was he just being a coward and letting his assumptions and fear get the best of him? He had hoped that perhaps Hermione’s odd behavior had been because she secretly returned his feelings like Sirius had suggested. Maybe that had only been wishful thinking. Perhaps Peter was right about her hiding something else.

There certainly was something she wasn’t telling him, something that was making her behave so oddly sometimes. It was almost like she was being haunted, looking as though she were seeing ghosts when no one else could. She’d pull away both emotionally and physically at times when it made no sense then act like nothing happened. What could it possibly be that she wasn’t telling him? She knew all of his dirty secrets at this point, ones that were life and death to him. If she were hiding something as well, it must have been really bad if she couldn’t return the favor. A part of that frightened him. Wondering about it was enough to drive him mad with theories.

And then there was Claudia. He had known her for nearly six years now and he knew she was very kind and easy to get along with. A bit quiet, but thoughtful and smart. Not to mention that for some reason she liked him, even with the little interactions they’d had over the years. On paper it would make sense for him to want to ask her out. But she just wasn’t Hermione.

“That wouldn’t be fair to Claudia to ask her out if I liked someone else,” said Remus. “She deserves better.”

“Perhaps…” said James, pursing his lips. “Then just tell Hermione how you feel. If she doesn’t return your feelings, then you can take the time to heal and move forward.”

“Oh please,” scoffed Sirius. “There would be nothing to move forward from! She clearly likes him!”

It was like being pulled in every direction and a ringing started in the back of Remus’s head. He took another breath to calm himself.

“Sirius, maybe you should drop it,” said Peter, sounding worried.

“No, I can’t,” said Sirius. He turned to Remus and leaned forward in his chair to look him right in the eye. “Swallow your bloody pride and do something about it if you like her that much.”

“She doesn’t like me, Sirius. It’s over,” muttered Remus, trying to unclench the fist that was forming.

“Nope,” said Sirius. “I don’t buy it.”

“There’s nothing to buy!”

“You really are blind, mate,” said Sirius, shaking his head. “You don’t even realize what she’s been doing for you this whole time!”

Peter made a choking sound and Remus’s head snapped to look at him. Peter quickly tried to make it sound like a cough.

“Sirius…” warned James.

Remus looked between them. James and Peter were sending warning looks towards Sirius but Sirius stayed focused directly on Remus, a sense of determination in his eyes.

“What do you mean?” asked Remus slowly, not having the best feeling about what was coming next.

“He means with all the notes and such,” said James quickly.

Peter began nodding in agreement but Sirius was shaking his head even harder.

“Don’t you think he deserves to know the truth?” he asked to James and Peter.

The two boys stayed silent, but Remus could see James trying to have a silent conversation with Sirius. They stared at each other, making weird expressions and sharp movements with their heads. Remus knew Sirius must have won the silent battle when James’s eyes went wide and Sirius smirked impishly.

“Sirius, don’t,” said James firmly.

But Sirius ignored him and turned to stare back at Remus.

“Because if she didn’t like you than why on earth has she been learning how to become an animagus so she can transform with you?”

“Sirius…” gasped James in disbelief, looking horrified.

Peter had covered his face with his hands and refused to look at any of them.

It took Remus a while to fully comprehend what Sirius had said. None of those words made any sense in the order in which he had said them. Remus went over them… over and over, letting it fully sink in.

Learning to become an animagus… Transform… with him? In the shack? On a full moon?

“She’s doing WHAT?” breathed Remus.

His headache came back with so much force for a moment he was worried he may black out.

“Remus,” said James abruptly. “Breathe, mate.”

Breathe? How did James expect him to do something as normal as breathing in a moment like that?

“You have to get her to stop,” gasped out Remus, clutching his head with balled up fists.

“It’s too late,” said Peter in a small voice. “She’s on the last step.”

“She’s already heard the second heartbeat,” confirmed Sirius.

Red spots filled his vision.

Remus threw the hospital blanket off himself and swung his legs over the side of the bed and staggered. Searing pain went through his head and back, but he ignored it as he stood up. Immediately he was surrounded by protests.

“What do you think you’re doing, Remus?” demanded James, who was on his feet now too.

“Are you mad, get back in bed!” said Sirius, grabbing onto Remus’s shoulder.

Remus shrugged Sirius off and grabbed his shoes from the floor.

“I need to talk to her,” he seethed.

“Wait until morning at least!” piped up Peter. “You’re still not yourself!”

“No,” Remus said in such a low voice it almost sounded like a growl.

“What if she’s already back in her dormitory?” said James, getting in front of him and putting his palm on Remus’s chest to hold him back. “You won’t be able to get in!”

Remus carefully lifted James’s arm off him and let it drop as he maneuvered around him.

“She’s not,” said Remus firmly as he walked towards the door of the Hospital Wing. “I know exactly where she is.”

.:~*~*~*~*~:.

The door of the Room of Requirement burst open. Standing in the threshold was Remus looking more livid than Hermione had ever seen him. Only one thing could have made him look that angry, and it meant that someone had opened their big mouth.

Remus strode through the room, his green eyes blazing. Hermione immediately closed her book and set it down on the coffee table before standing to face him.

“Remus, what are you doing out of hospital? You’re still not well—”

He held a hand up. “Don’t.”

Hermione, who had just been about to step towards him, stopped in her tracks. Remus stood a few paces away, as if he didn’t want to be any closer to her.

“Tell me it’s not true,” he breathed. His hands had turned into fists and were trembling slightly at his sides.

There was a fleeting feeling of panic as Hermione wondered if maybe he had found out more than just her trying to become an animagus, and she swallowed back the lump in her throat. As quickly as she could, Hermione thought back over the last few conversations they had had, but she couldn’t come up with anything that would suggest he could have put together where she had truly come from.

“What’s not true?” she asked, deciding to play it safe, but her response seemed to just further annoy Remus.

“Tell me… you aren’t learning to become an animagus so you can be there in the shack…” he said icily, shaking his head in frustration. “Tell me that Sirius was making it up.”

Hermione was going to murder Sirius Black.

“I-I can’t tell you that…”

“Then don’t take the potion. Don’t complete the transformation,” said Remus, his eyes pleading.

“I’ve come too far to not complete it,” said Hermione. “I’ve worked too hard.”

He let out a large groan and his hands went to his head as he gripped his hair and Hermione felt terrified that he would start pulling it out.

“Why, Hermione? Why are you doing this? Don’t you realize how dangerous it is?” he demanded, his hands leaving his hair unscathed and instead became clenched in fists.

“Remus… you need to go back to hospital and rest…” Hermione said gently.

“This isn’t about me right now, this is about you,” he shot back. “Don’t try to deflect. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into by trying to do this!”

“Of course I know the risks,” she defended, crossing her arms and staring back at him. “Do you think I’d jump into something like this without doing the proper research?”

“I don’t think you do! So much could go wrong! You could get arrested! You could get seriously hurt! You could die!”

His eyes were wide and burning like a fire. Hermione knew that the symptoms from his transformation would affect him directly before and after the full moon, but she had never expected to see him so far away from his usual calm demeanor. But she couldn’t show any hesitation, she had to show him she could handle his transformations.

“I’ve been studying it for months now, I think I know how the process works well enough to not hurt myself,” she said carefully.

“It doesn’t matter how much you’ve studied it, you could get killed!” he yelled.

“Do you think I won’t be able to do it then?” Hermione demanded to know. Her own anger was rising now. How could he not trust her to do it properly?

“It’s not safe to be around me! Animal or not!”

“Why don’t you believe in me!”

Remus let out a loud groan.

“I feel like you are deliberately missing my point!” Remus shot back. “It has nothing to do with your magical abilities or learning how to transform! It has everything to do with me not being able to control mine when I do!”

This made her pause. So he wasn’t scared she wouldn’t be able to manage the transformation… he feared himself. But that was ludicrous; he had never seriously hurt anyone else before, why would she be any different?

“I can handle myself!” she said back.

“You may be able to handle yourself, but you won’t be able to handle me!”

“And how could you possibly know that?” Hermione scoffed.

He stared at her in utter silence for a moment. His chest was heaving up and down with his anger and Hermione felt a similar sensation at his lack of faith in her.

“I need to show you something,” he said suddenly, walking towards her.

“What?” faltered Hermione

“Let’s go.”

“What?” she repeated, her voice much higher than usual that time.

Remus took a hold of her hand and the feeling sent electricity through her body. Without responding to her, he began to lead her out of the Room of Requirement.

“You can’t be serious,” said Hermione with reproach. “We can’t go anywhere at this time… We don’t even have the map or the cloak with us…”

Remus ignored this as they passed through the door.

“Remus… it’s after curfew! It’s the middle of the night!” she hissed under her breath as he pulled her down the dark corridor and past snoring paintings.

“I don’t... care…” he grumbled through gritted teeth as they reached the Grand Staircase.

“But we could get in trouble!” she squeaked. “You know Filch has been watching me!”

He ignored her again and they continued through the castle until they reached the Grounds. It was warm that night. The approaching summer breeze blew through her hair as they walked across the grass. Hermione tried hard not to trip in the dark, trying to keep up with Remus’s intense pace as he pulled her along.

“Can you at least slow down? It’s so dark…”

His head turned to look at her as he continued on, and when he saw her struggling, his face immediately softened, as did his pace. But he didn’t stop, not until the Whomping Willow was in sight. It was silhouetted against the dark sky and Hermione could see black branches thrashing wildly through the air as they drew nearer.

Then, Remus released her hand and Hermione stumbled slightly on the hill leading to the tree. Remus must not have been completely angry with her because he quickly reached out and steadied her, helping her regain her footing in the grass. Their eyes met briefly and Hermione felt her breath hitch as she looked into his pained eyes, but Remus pulled his gaze away. Redirecting his attention back to the Whomping Willow, he took out his wand and pointed it at a small fallen branch that lay in the dark grass.

“Wingardium Leviosa!” he said harshly, and the branch began levitating. Remus flicked his wand until the branch shot at the tree, hitting the knot at the base of the trunk. His aim had been perfect, and if Hermione wasn’t so frightened by his reaction, she would have been impressed at his spell work.

The Whomping Willow stood frozen in place as if it had turned to marble. Remus turned and took a hold of Hermione’s hand again and began leading her to the tree, but this time much more gently. It wasn’t until they reached the tunnel that Remus let go of her hand.

Traveling back through the tunnel was a surreal experience. Hermione slowly followed Remus and slithered down the small, dark tunnel until she reached the opening at the bottom. Remus now had his wand lit and reached out to take her hand again. The two of them silently walked, hunched over nearly double, down the long and seemingly endless passageway.

It was a relief when they finally entered the shack, and Remus led her up to the top floor. Just as it had been when she had first been there, the room was beyond damaged. There was broken furniture everywhere and the windows were all boarded up. Claw marks covered the wooden floors and tore streaks in the stained, peeling wallpaper. A layer of dust was on everything, but not nearly to the same extent as the abandoned shack had from her own time. In this time, it was still in use.

He released her hand one final time and walked to the edge of the room, leaving her standing alone in the center. Remus stood frozen near the far wall with his eyes closed and Hermione didn’t dare speak.

“Did you know this shack is only six years old?” Remus finally said with a sigh, opening his eyes turning away from her. He ran his fingers across the papered walls, smoothing down a tear in it. “Only six, and it looks this way. It’s boarded up and falling apart, meant to scare away the townspeople and visiting students. It was built at the same time as the Whomping Willow was planted, all because of my arrival at Hogwarts.”

When she still didn’t say anything, he continued, “Students try to break in on occasion, but of course there’s no actual way in except the secret passageway. There’s not even a door, and the windows are magically sealed, but sometimes I still fear someone will get in one day. And as much as it’s meant to keep people out, it’s also meant to keep me in.”

“Remus,” started Hermione, hesitantly. She stood awkwardly in the center of the room, a few paces from where he stood with his back to her. “Why did you bring me here?”

“To remind you of what I am.”

“Remus…”

“Now you see the damage I can do.”

“Remus, I don’t mind!”

“Well, you should mind! Rational people would mind!” he said exasperatedly, turning to face her.

“Well…” Hermione said slowly, crossing her arms. “I guess I’m not very rational.”

Remus closed his eyes and he took a deep breath.

“I don’t deserve you, Hermione,” he said slowly, still keeping his eyes shut.

“What?” was all she managed to say from the shock of his statement.

He opened his eyes and she could see them glossed over. “Your kindness… your acceptance…You risking trouble with the law for my sake… I don’t know what I’ve done, or could ever do, to deserve it.”

The drastic change in his mood worried her, and she took a step closer to him.

“Remus, you have to stop this,” she said firmly, and her words seemed to surprise him because he just blinked back at her. “None of this is about deserving. Me, James, Sirius, Peter… you haven’t had to earn us as friends. We aren’t some prizes to be won. I don’t know why you keep allowing yourself to have these punishing thoughts and this misplaced guilt thinking that we’re all sacrificing something to be friends with you. Can’t you see how much your friends love you? How much we want to be with you? To be there for you during the full moons? Do you ever stop to think that in other people’s eyes maybe you could be the prize?”

He stared at her in silence before turning away again, and Hermione had a sneaking suspicious he was trying to hide his face as he stared down at the dirty shack’s floor. Her own heart was pounding in her chest and she yearned to reach out for him, but with his mood effected by it being so soon after the transformation, she thought against it. She’d have to wait for him to initiate anything, if he even would.

“Regardless… You can’t be here for the full moons,” he said evenly, refusing to meet her gaze.

Anger surged through her body.

“And why not? I want to be there for you!”

“I don’t want you to be here!” he shot back, turning to face her angrily.

Hermione took an involuntary step backwards, his words cutting her. Transformation effects or not, he had clearly meant what he said, and it hurt. She could feel the stinging sensation growing behind her eyes.

Remus seemed to notice this and he quickly looked up at the ceiling and groaned. His hands went up and he dragged them down his face miserably.

“God, Hermione. If you saw what I became… you’d run away and never come back,” he said desperately.

“What makes you think I’d run away? The others haven’t. They’re still there with you every single full moon and have never run for the hills,” said Hermione, her voice tight with emotion. “I’m not a coward.”

“I don’t only mean out of fear…” he said. “You’ll have no choice but to look at me differently. It won’t be the same once you see what I become. I’m a monster.”

“How could you possibly think that, Remus?” she said, her throat suddenly feeling very hollow. “After everything that’s happened this year, how could you think I could ever see you as monster?”

A part of her wished she could somehow tell him that she did know what he was like when he transformed. That she was able to handle it at the age of just fourteen so she certainly could handle it now. That even knowing what happened to him every month, she still saw him as the kindest, smartest, and best person she had ever met. A person she cared so deeply for. Too deeply for.

“You only say that because you haven’t seen it!”

Hermione could have laughed if she weren’t so upset.

“And the others? They’ve all seen it but they don’t see you as a monster. You let them in! It’s okay for them to learn how to become animagi and join the werewolf but not me?”

“It’s different with them,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Why? Because I’m a girl?” she challenged, raising her voice. Tears were forming in her eyes now, threatening to escape, but she willed them not to.

Remus took a single step back as if she had slapped him. “Is that what you think? That I don’t think you should do it because you’re a girl?” he exasperated. “Have I ever given you any reason to believe I thought less of you because of that? You’re the most brilliant person I’ve ever known!”

“Oh really? If it has nothing to do with me being a girl than why isn’t there an issue with James, Sirius, or Peter being there? They’d be in just as much danger as I would! But because they’re boys you think they can handle it while I can’t? If I’m so brilliant, then why don’t you trust that I know what I’m doing?” Hermione yelled back, one of her tears winning the battle and streaming down her face, burning into her skin.

Remus stared at her, his eyes zeroing in on the tear making its way to her chin and Hermione used the sleeve of her jumper to quickly wipe it away. She didn’t want to show any weakness, to let him win and have been right about her not being strong enough to handle being there.

“Please, Hermione,” he whispered. His expression had gone soft and his shoulders fell as he stared at her with pleading eyes. He took a few steps toward her and grabbed ahold of her hands. His touch felt like fire and her heartrate immediately increased as she stared up into his burning green eyes. “Please, don’t do this.”

“Why?” was all she managed to whisper back to him, trying to keep her own breathing steady. “Just tell me why.”

“If you were there… I would never be able to stop worrying that I’d hurt you. I don’t want you to get hurt,” he said softly, staring down at her hands in his. His thumb grazed over the back of one of her hands ever so gently and Hermione’s stomach burst into flutters.

Hermione closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. “That can’t be it, you let James, Sirius, and Peter go with you instead of keeping them away in fear that they’ll get hurt.”

“Hermione,” he said firmly, and she could feel him stepping even closer. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Her eyes opened and she suddenly realized how close he was standing to her. Close enough that she could feel his breath on her skin. There must have been less than a foot of distance between the two of them and Hermione’s breathing immediately picked up its pace as she stared at his distraught face. The second heartbeat that she had felt occasionally since the other night was picking up speed as well.

The scent of the chocolate he had been eating just an hour ago was fresh on his breath as he breathed in and out deeply as his green eyes bore into her own. Even while angry and upset, he really was beautiful. Without thinking, her eyes trailed down to his lips, that were parted slightly, close enough that if she reached up onto her toes…

So close… too close…

Get ahold of yourself! she thought suddenly.

“I can take care of myself,” she said, pulling her hands out of his and turning around to walk across the room, her head reeling.

She heard him groan again from behind her.

“It isn’t about you not being able to take care of yourself, it’s that I can’t trust myself!”

“But you trust yourself with them!” she said, turning to face him again.

“This isn’t about them!”

“Oh, so it is about me, then?”

He groaned again, louder and more annoyed than before. “Why are you being so stubborn!”

“Because you are!”

Remus was shaking his head and he laughed darkly.

“You know, for the brightest person I know, you can really be so oblivious…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded.

“How could you possibly not know by now?”

“Know what! I don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

Remus trembled slightly, looking as if he were about to explode.

“That it’s because it’s you, Hermione! I can’t bear the thought of you ever seeing me like some monster, because I don’t want to lose you!” he yelled.

Hermione swallowed and felt her entire body freeze.

“But what if for some reason you were fine with it like you said you are? What if you saw me become a monster and still saw me for me? I still can’t chance ever hurting you! What if I lost control and lashed out one night?” he continued fervently. “You’re the one I don’t want caught in the crossfire. Anyone but you!”

The silence that followed was the loudest she ever experienced. Only the wind blowing against the shack could be heard throughout the room. That as well as the sound of both of their ragged breaths.

“Me?” she said disbelievingly, staring into his desperate eyes.

“Just imagining what could happen to you… If I hurt you, Hermione… God… I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. It has nothing to do with your ability to learn to transform, or that you’re a girl! It’s… it’s because… I-I… I lo-”

Pain overtook his voice as he cut himself off. His green eyes were wide and alert as they pleading with her.

That’s when it clicked.

How he always took it the hardest whenever she tried to pull away.

Why he was so angry that she wanted to do this despite the dangers.

The way he was looking at her…

What was it he had been about to say?

Love?

Hermione’s entire body felt like it had turned to jelly. She felt weightless, like she was slowly being dipped into a bottomless pool of water. She was drowning with the abundance of emotions that bombarded her in that very moment.

He was in love with her.

Remus stared at her with such a strength that it made her flush. It made her want to run to him. To wrap her arms around him and never let go. To hold him or kiss him or just be there with him and let him know everything would be okay.

But the look also seemed somewhat familiar, and she was instantly reminded of that look he had given her in the Department of Mysteries right before she fell through time. It was as if he were staring at her, desperately trying to figure something out. A stare so intense she thought it might kill her.

The memory resurfaced all the things she had to constantly remind herself of.

He would her professor one day.

He was nearly twenty years older than her in her time.

He deserved someone that he could spend his life with.

She still had to go back to where she belonged, which wasn’t with him.

She had to go back… she had to go back…

And yet she wanted him in that moment so badly.

Remus’s eyes were shining as he reached out with a trembling arm and placed his hand against her face. It suddenly it felt like all the air had been sucked from the room.

“You must know how… how I feel,” he whispered earnestly.

Ever so gently, his thumb lightly stroked her cheek and Hermione felt like her body was beginning to melt. He held her gaze so firmly and she could see the uncertainty in his eyes. There was an innocent vulnerability to it as his eyes poured into her own. Remus hesitated ever so slightly before dipping down towards her.

Hermione’s heart hammered faster than it ever had in her life as he neared.

Then she did something she wasn’t sure she had the strength to do.

Hermione stepped backwards, out of his hold.

The room around them was frozen in that moment. Remus’s arm lingered, suspended in the air where it had once touched her with such yearning. His green eyes flooded with confusion and then realization before settling into rejection.

Pain and shame resonated on Remus’s face, and Hermione’s heart felt like it was going to break as he quickly turned away from her, staggering towards the other side of the room. His hand went up to steady himself on an old and cracked frame of a broken four-poster bed and he bent his head over, breathing heavily.

“Remus…” she whispered, her voice cracking with the sob that was forming in the back of her throat.

He didn’t turn back towards her, but instead held up a hand.

“I-I’m sorry, Hermione,” he managed to choke out. “I’m so sorry. I never should have—”

All the strength she had just felt before seemed to have melted away and Hermione didn’t bother trying to hold back the tears that were now freely streaming down her face.

“No, I’m sorry, Remus,” she sobbed quietly.

And she was. More than he’d ever be able to know.

Merlin’s beard, he loved her! Her own feelings might not have been as intense as his – she had only just even considered him with any kind of interest – but knowing that he viewed her in a similar fashion… that he felt something too… he wanted her too…

They would both leave that room brokenhearted that night.

“For so long I’ve wondered why you sometimes acted strange. Like you were hiding something,” he spoke, still facing away from her “And when Sirius mentioned you trying to become an animagus for me, a part of me assumed…” His voice cracked and he cut himself off.

“Remus…”

“I-I need to go… I need to think…” he muttered, turning away from the bed and walking towards the door.

“Remus, wait!” called Hermione desperately, reaching out for him but he tore past her. “Please!”

He hesitated at the threshold and looked at her with tears staining his face.

“I just need some time,” he whispered.

And then he was gone, leaving Hermione standing in the center of the room with nothing but the sound of her own sobs drowning out the wind blowing against the boarded-up shack.

Chapter Text

Chapter 31 – Silence

It was well past curfew when Hermione finally made it back to the Gryffindor Common Room. It had been a miracle that she hadn’t been caught by any professors, prefects, or even Filch as she had slowly walked across the grounds and through the castle, feeling as though she were in a haze.

The torches throughout the common room were burning low. Flames crackled slowly in the fireplace as it was down to nearly just embers flickering faintly between the logs. The silence of the room was disconcerting, and Hermione didn’t know what to do with herself. Did she take a seat by the dwindling fire? Go upstairs and crawl into bed as if nothing had just happened? Sneak off to the Room of Requirement? No, she couldn’t possibly do that last one. Not without Remus.

Just the thought of Remus made her feel numb. How could she not have known? Had she been so focused on repressing her own feelings that she had missed all the signs? She had been too concentrated on trying to tell herself how impossible it would have been that not once had she ever considered the possibility that he could ever see her like that. If she had known, she could have done something to try to stop his feelings…

But love? Wow. Love.

It was a lot to process. Perhaps he was exaggerating how he felt. Perhaps it was his heightened emotions from the full moon. That would explain it. What other reason could there be? She was never supposed to be in that time or in his life in this way. But the way he had looked at her in that dark and dusty shack, the way his hand trembled as it held her face so gently… The feeling of his thumb as it had traced her cheek with the utmost care…

Hermione brought her hand slowly to her cheek and rested it against where his hand had just been. If Remus had moved in faster… given her no time to reconsider and step out of his hold… well… then where would they be? Both of her heartbeats increased at just the thought.

“Psst!”

Hermione nearly jumped out of her skin. Her head jerked towards where the sound came from in the corner of the room, but no one was there. So, it had finally happened; after everything she had been through, she was finally losing her mind. But as her eyes trailed to the floor, she saw three sets of shoes, shifting ever so slightly with no bodies attached.

It could only have meant one thing, and anger surged through her. Hermione marched across the room and reached out for the empty air in front of her. Her hand made contact with something solid, as well as the silky material of the invisibility cloak as she yanked it away, revealing James, Sirius, and Peter crouched together.

“Ow!” groaned Sirius. His hand immediately went into his black hair and began to rub his head. “You grabbed onto my hair!”

Hermione stared at him wordlessly, not even knowing where to begin. Just the sight of Sirius made her body tighten with rage. The burning sensation behind her eyes was beginning to return and Hermione had to focus all of her energy on not trembling where she stood.

Sirius continued rubbing his head, but James and Peter were looking at her curiously with wide eyes.

“Hermione, what’s wrong? What happened?” asked James, sounding concerned as he took in her expression, but Hermione had her full attention on Sirius.

“Why did you tell him?” demanded Hermione, skipping the pleasantries and pointing directly at Sirius’s face. “What were you thinking!”

It took all of her effort to not just scream at him, but the last thing she wanted to do was to wake up the rest of their house. It may have been empty in the common room, but risking exposing Remus’s secret by causing a scene in the middle of the night was not worth the satisfaction of fully telling Sirius off.

Sirius immediately flinched and took a step back, his wide eyes going cross as he zeroed in on Hermione’s finger in his face.

“He deserved to know!” defended Sirius, also attempting to keep his voice somewhat low.

As much as Hermione agreed that Remus did deserve to know, it was the when and how of the situation that bothered her. Something Sirius had not even bothered to consider.

“But to tell him then when he was feeling the way he was? That was cruel! You should have let me tell him at a better time and to properly explain everything!”

“And when would that be?” challenged Sirius.

“Certainly not after a full moon!”

“What happened in the shack?” interrupted James, careful to keep his voice soft.

Hermione turned towards him, and he was looking at her sympathetically.

“How did you know about the shack?” she snapped.

James took a step back and held out a hand in front of him in defense. With the other, he reached into his robes and pulled out the Marauder’s Map, which still had the castle visible on it. The sight of it made Hermione’s stomach drop.

“We were worried when Remus stormed out of the Hospital Wing, so we came back here to see where he went,” explained James, looking at her cautiously. “By the time we got back here we saw the two of you headed in the direction of the willow. Then we saw him go back to the Hospital Wing and we watched until you made it back here.”

It was an innocent enough explanation. At least it hadn’t been because they had followed them under the cloak. That would have made things so much worse if they had seen and heard everything. Hermione trusted James enough to know he was telling the truth, so she turned her attention back to Sirius.

“What else did you say to him?” she demanded, jabbing her finger even closer to his face.

Sirius scowled at it, but still had the decency to appear somewhat guilty when his grey eyes met hers.

“What do you mean?”

“You told him something else, didn’t you?” she asked with a small crack in her voice. It couldn’t have just been the animagus secret. The way Remus had described Sirius getting his hopes up alluded to much more than that. She didn’t believe Remus had jumped to that conclusion all on his own.

“I may have told him I thought you fancied him and that’s why you were doing it…” muttered Sirius, looking down at his feet.

And there it was. Hermione’s bottom lip then began to tremble, and she bit down on it to stop it, nodding slowly as she dropped her hand back to her side.

“Of course you did,” breathed Hermione.

“What happened?” asked Peter, speaking for the first time. He wore a nervous look on his face, but there was also something else in his eyes. Something that read almost of accusation.

The three boys stared at her expectantly, but Hermione only shook her head harder, trying to keep the tears back. For the second time that night, she ran the sleeve of her jumper across her face, trying to remove the evidence of her dried tears while hoping to keep back the new ones that were threatening to escape.

“This is all your fault,” she said acidly to Sirius before turning and walking towards the stairs to the girls’ dormitories.

~o~

Remus had not shown up for class the next morning, nor did he make an appearance that afternoon. It wasn’t enough to make Hermione completely worried yet. After all, Madam Pomfrey was most likely going to make him stay that day regardless of what had happened the night before. Her main concern was whether or not she should go and visit him in the Hospital Wing. He had said he needed time to think, but Hermione wasn’t entirely sure of what that exactly meant.

Later that day, she got her answer.

“He got us kicked out!” said Sirius furiously as he approached where Hermione was sitting alone in the Great Hall. He dramatically sat down on the bench across from her with Peter and James sitting on either side of him.

The sight of him only further irritated her. Hermione had just arrived from Arithmancy, a class she shared with none of her friends, and had enjoyed having the afternoon away from him. She had hoped Lily and Mary would be the first ones to get there for dinner so she could join them rather than look at Sirius, but the odds must not have been in her favor.

Apparently, Sirius had not gotten the memo that she did not want to speak to him, even if she had ignored his presence the entire morning. Rather than respond to his question, even if she was curious, Hermione just glared at him.

“Are you really not going to speak to me?” asked Sirius, gaping at her.

Hermione said nothing and a sigh came from James, who glanced between them looking tired.

“We tried to visit Remus earlier this morning, but Madam Pomfrey said no visitors,” James explained to Hermione, who politely looked over to acknowledge him. Sirius threw his hands in the air with a scoff. “Then we grabbed the cloak after lunch and tried to sneak in to see him. We skived off Care of Magical Creatures to do it too.”

“You didn’t go to class?” questioned Hermione.

“Well, we did end up going…” said James with a frown. “Ends up the no visitor policy was his idea and not Madam Pomfrey’s. He got her to kick us out and sent us to class.”