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Adventures in babysitting (or attempts at romance)

Summary:

Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi wake up as five year olds one morning, which causes Lan XiChen to come out of seclusion. Faced with a five year old unholy terror (but cute nonetheless) Wei Ying, Lan XiChen desperately needs help.

Chapter 1: Fu and Foo

Chapter Text

One puppy chased its tail, happily spinning and yapping, while the other attempted to sneak up on him. Jiang Cheng grinned at the latter and pretended being distracted. When the little devil jumped and attacked his knee, he laughed.

“Foo, you are a miserable guard dog,” he joked, stroking its head and allowing the pup to lick his hand. Now that its brother was getting their owner’s attention, Fu stopped spinning and ran over to them, stumbling over his own two feet and ending up in Jiang Cheng’s lap.

Jiang Cheng easily reached out and patted Fu as well. He had gotten the two pups after the mess at Guanyin temple. With Jin Ling at Carp Tower learning how to rule his sect and his menace of a shi-xiong staying at the Cloud Recesses he had found himself alone again. Well, what was new? Didn’t he always end up alone?

Dealing with solitude was easier with two puppies running amok. So when he had found these two rascals on the streets he had taken them in. The two mini shar-pei dogs had immediately taken to him. Two months later they were already fiercely loyal and following him around. If they weren’t getting into trouble, that was.

The air around him stirred and the change made him look up. The two pups immediately stilled and stared at the silver talisman message that unexpectedly appeared above them. The Cloud Recesses deemed him worthy of communication? The thought made him scoff. Why should he listen to the message which was doubtlessly about Wei WuXian? Everything always revolved around the fool, didn’t it?

/Sect leader Jiang, please excuse the untimely intrusion, but I am in desperate need of your assistance. I would greatly appreciate you traveling to the Cloud Recesses for the sake of your shi-xiong Wei WuXian./

Another scoff, harder this time, escaped him. Wei WuXian was causing trouble again? Not surprising at all. And he was being called upon to get the idiot out of the mess Wei WuXian himself had created? Not this time. Foo and Fu competed for his attention and he quickly started a mock fight to distract them.

But wait. That hadn’t been Lan QiRen’s voice, but Lan XiChen’s. He frowned and narrowed his eyes at the realization. HanGuang-Jun would never approach him, so he had naturally assumed it to be Lan QiRen instead. Wasn’t ZeWu-Jun supposed to be in seclusion? News traveled fast and Lan XiChen secluding himself in order to deal with his own part in Jin GuangYao’s scheme had quickly reached him.

Lan XiChen isolating himself in a desperate need to atone for being blindsided was humbug as far as Jiang Cheng was concerned. Jin GuangYao had fooled all of them. But he did understand Lan XiChen taking it harder than the rest. ZeWu-Jun had blindly put his trust in the other man. He had taken Meng Yao under his wing, had befriended and defended him. Lan XiChen had kept him safe when Nie MingJue had wanted to kill him and had stood at his side when he became Jin GuangYao, Excellency and leader of all sects.

Of course Lan XiChen took the betrayal harder than the rest of them, but that didn’t mean he had to atone for anything. Secluding himself and turning his back on the world was nonsense. So what had caused ZeWu-Jun to come out of his self chosen isolation?

His curiosity quickly got the better of him, urging him to find out. Even if this was about Wei WuXian, solving the mystery of Lan XiChen joining the world again was oddly appealing. Which had nothing to do with the fact that the other man was extremely handsome, smart and the gentlest soul he had ever met. Of course it didn’t and he would break the fool’s legs whoever dared to suggest that.

“Fu, stop chewing my boot.” The pup loved mauling his leather boots while Foo was incredibly fond of drooling on the hems of his robes. The pup looked up, whined and continued to pout when he was denied his prize. He hated leaving them behind, but wondering what the hell was happening at the Cloud Recesses would drive him insane.

He didn’t have a choice – not really. So onto Gusu it was.

//

“I want Jiang Cheng! I want shijie! I want Jiang Cheng!”

XiChen drew in a deep breath, centered himself and tried to count to ten. He didn’t get far.

“I don’t want you! I want shijie! I want Jiang Cheng! Jiang Cheng will protect me!”

Three. He had reached three before it started again. “Wei WuXian,” he tried, but had to admit defeat when the five year old boy glared at him before defiantly sticking out his tongue at him.

“Xian is only three! A-Ying needs shijie or Jiang Cheng!” Wei Ying crossed his arms and pouted – hard. Although he liked the older man dressed in white and blue he wasn’t Jiang Cheng. The ornaments dangling from the man’s belt captured his attention and he started to reach out when he realized what he was doing. “No, I want Jiang Cheng!”

XiChen sighed. He had lost count of the times he had already done so. He had explained to the boy that Jiang YanLi was unavailable, which had caused one hell of a temper tantrum. When he had also failed to produce Jiang WanYin, little Wei Ying had turned his back on him and proceeded to cry his eyes out. XiChen wasn’t sure if he was being masterly manipulated or if the boy really was heart broken.

“I want Jiang Cheng!” That they weren’t related by blood mattered little to Wei Ying, who thought of Jiang Cheng as his brother. If his shijie wasn’t here then Jiang Cheng had to be. He needed one of them at the very least.

“I wrote him a message,” XiChen tried placating the boy. He had little experience dealing with such a stubborn child and was growing desperate. “He should reply soon.” Although to be honest, he hoped Jiang WanYin was already maneuvering his sword to the Cloud Recesses. Hopefully he had piqued the other man’s interest enough for Jiang WanYin to investigate. When they had parted at the temple there had still been bad blood between Wei WuXian and Jiang WanYin, and XiChen couldn’t be sure the Jiang sect leader would answer his call.

“I want Jiang Cheng!” Wei Ying repeatedly stamped on the floor, growing angry and increasingly worried. He could do without his uncle Jiang and Madam Yu. The latter didn’t like him anyway, but he needed Jiang Cheng at the least. “Why not let me go home? Jiang Cheng is there!” He didn’t like this place. Everything was so clean, so perfect.

“Wei Ying, stay.” Lan Zhan stared at the other boy, the mere thought of Wei Ying leaving was enough to upset him. “Stay with me.” He shuffled over to the boy and offered his hand.

XiChen closed his eyes and sighed again. Wei Ying at five years old challenged him in ways no other situation ever had, but he still might have been able to deal with it if it hadn’t been for WangJi reverting to childhood as well. With two five year old boys on his hands he was in over his head, but he didn’t dare inform his uncle yet.

Lan QiRen would demand an explanation and XiChen simply didn’t have one. That morning he had wanted to visit them and when he had entered the jingshi two boys had come running toward him. Their sleeping clothes had been too big and they had stumbled. WangJi had caught Wei WuXian, who had then pushed him away, insisting he could take care of himself. WangJi’s expression had been one of utter devastation.

Even at five WangJi was utterly smitten with Wei WuXian, something that didn’t surprise XiChen. And although he was sure little Wei Ying liked WangJi in turn, the boy wanted Jiang Cheng even more. That was when the pitiful whining had started, which still continued.

“I want Jiang Cheng! I won’t eat until he’s here! I will stop breathing if you don’t let me have him!”

“Wei Ying, I am here,” little Lan Zhan tried appeasing the other boy.

Wei Ying opened one eye, but continued to sulk. He liked Lan Zhan, he really did, but what he wanted most was, “Jiang Cheng!”

The two months spent in seclusion had been lonely but quiet and XiChen caught himself wishing that he hadn’t returned to this madness. But this was his little brother – quite literally at the moment – and his brother in law and he loved them both. Wei WuXian had always been energetic and unpredictable, but his younger self was even harder to manage.

“Wei Ying, I am here.” Lan Zhan was stating the obvious, but what else could he do? His social skills were terribly lacking, but he still wanted to comfort the other boy. Wei Ying was important to him just like XiChen was, but he had no idea why. He only knew that the mere thought of the boy deserting him caused him pain.

Wei Ying sniffled, but then gingerly curled his fingers around the other boy’s hand. “Lan Zhan, I want Jiang Cheng!”

“Xiongzhang.” Wide-eyed, little Lan Zhan looked at his big brother who would fix everything. “Wei Ying wants Jiang Cheng.” And whatever the other boy wanted, Wei Ying would get.

A smile stole onto XiChen’s face as he watched them. WangJi was determined to comfort little Wei Ying. His little brother gave him a look that told him he had better deliver or else the consequences would be terrible. Wei Ying on the other hand peeked at WangJi, trying to figure him out while he softly continued to whine for Jiang Cheng.

“If Jiang Cheng,” XiChen’s voice hitched a little addressing the other sect leader that intimately, “won’t come I will fetch him myself, yes?” Would the tactic work? Would Wei Ying stop crying?

“You will?” Wei Ying wiped at his eyes and studied the adult. “Chen-ge will get Jiang Cheng for me?”

Chen-ge? Oh my, he really was in over his head.

TBC