Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

TL;DR.

I am a trans man (he/him/his). This guide is intended for cis people, not trans people.

If there is a trans male headcanon present in a cis person's fic, it's generally safe to assume any of the following:

• The author has headcanoned a younger, prettier, more slender guy as a trans male.
• If the author has not chosen a younger, prettier, more slender guy as a trans male, they will instead contort the canon characteristics of a male character in order to make him more submissive, stereotypically feminine, and helpless.
• The trans man is featured having penetrative sex with a more masculine, manly, and dominant cis man. Inevitably, the trans man will be a bottom.
• In lieu of any actual personality or interesting characterisation, the trans man will be a one-dimensional stereotype of transness, with few nuanced hobbies or traits beyond being trans.
• The trans man's pre/non-op genitals will be described in excruciating detail, with no consideration for dysphoric readers.
• The trans man, despite being an adult, is called a "boy" frequently. His cis male partner is never addressed that way.

These do not always occur in the same singular fic, but the trend of fetishising trans men is so well established that I'm absolutely confident in saying that it happens way too fucking often for my comfort. If you browse the comments, you will see that I'm not the only trans man who feels this way. Nor am I the only AFAB trans person who feels this way.

As a trans male author who has reclaimed female-typical terms, I recognise that posting stories irresponsibly could make other trans guys uncomfortable. I recognise that, trans person or not, I do not want to make trans men feel like shit. So, I include plentiful warnings in my author's notes, and I tag responsibly. All that I ask is that cis people give enough of a fuck to do the same, and that the cis fanfiction community quits treating trans men as a fetish.

Here are the rules explored in this guide:

• Do your research.
• Write trans men the same way you write cis men.
• Consider how offensive it is to headcanon real-life cis men as trans.
• Ask yourself why you're including a trans man in your story. What motivates you?
• Respect dysphoric trans men.
• Handle pregnancy and menstruation carefully, if you handle such topics at all.
• Don't portray damaging stuff. Write chest binding responsibly.
• Forewarn the language you will use.

Always think about the trans man who may be reading your story, and how you are making him feel.

DISCLAIMERS.

This guide mainly focusses on AO3 and Tumblr fan culture.

The purpose of this guide isn't to kink-shame cis people, it's to point out that trans men are not a kink, and we are too commonly treated as such. We are people, not a fetish. Writing fanfiction that involves trans men doesn't automatically mean you're doing something wrong, but you may not realise if you've fallen into transphobic tropes or reinforced stereotypes. With this guide, you can challenge commonly-held assumptions about how trans men look, act, and fuck.

I do not speak for every single trans man. That would be impossible! This guide is my opinion only, but multiple other trans men have been consulted too.

There is nothing wrong with being a gender non-conforming trans man. Throughout this guide, when I criticise the feminisation of trans men, I'm referring to the transphobic stereotype of femininity that some cis authors force onto FTM characters. I am aware that fanfic tropes also do a disservice to actual gender non-conformity and femininity.

Further, there is nothing wrong with being a gay man who also happens to be trans. There is nothing wrong with being a trans man who bottoms for his partners. The purpose of this guide is to criticise cis authors who take such identities/experiences and twist them into one-dimensional transphobic fetishes. If you are a trans man who likes writing youthful, bottom, and/or feminine trans men, because you relate to such characters and they make you feel good, then that's amazing and totally okay. That's why this guide is for cis people! Because I'm not telling trans men how to write.

A note for any dysphoric readers: this guide is intended for non-dysphoric cis audiences, so uncensored terms for genitalia are used, along with other terms that might be uncomfortable for you. Towards the end of the guide, there are also nude photographs of trans men at many different stages of surgical/hormonal affirmation. Proceed with caution. Even if you do not experience dysphoria, please know that this guide explicitly discusses the fetishisation, stereotyping, and transphobic misrepresentation of trans men, and you may find that upsetting.

All readers should be aware that there are mentions/discussions of racism, HIV stigma, self-harm, and suicide. Again, proceed with caution.

The language recommendations I make in this guide specifically apply to fanfic depictions of trans men. None of my commentary on fandom language extends to medical/legal/insurance contexts where anatomically-accurate phrasing can be lifesaving. For example, the phrase "people with vaginas" is useful in many non-fic contexts when certain healthcare needs to be accessed, but encountering the word "vagina" in pornographic FTM fanfiction may make a trans man dysphoric.

If you're writing a different gender demographic (cis men, cis women, non-binary people), my advice may not apply at all. Don't think I'm demanding blanket censorship or anything ridiculous like that. Please continue to use words like "pussy" when referring to women and others, if you wish to. I've got no issue with that. Ultimately, my goal is to encourage more diversity, caution, and kindness whenever cis people approach writing FTM fanfiction specifically. I urge cis authors to learn and be led by their conscience. Every story and character will obviously be different.

Should certain people be banned from writing trans men altogether? Nope. Even if that was possible, it's not a solution I'd insist on. Am I demanding that everyone agree with this guide and see things the way that I do? Nope. Is there a lot of nuance regarding this issue? Absolutely. The conversation about fetishisation, sexual portrayals of minorities, and identity is a complex one. This guide is a part of that conversation, not the end of that conversation. Should we all be considerate, and at least give some thought to how we depict demographics we aren't a part of? Yes.

RULE 1: DO YOUR RESEARCH.

The only way you can properly write trans men, and learn about trans masculinity, is to engage with us. The following images are taken from Jess T Dugan's To Survive On This Shore series. All of the pictured men are trans.

You will notice that all of these men are... male. They are not girlish, or visually less masculine than cis men, and if I hadn't told you they were trans you'd have no clue. Ask yourself, have you ever read a fic by a cis person that features trans men who look this way? I haven't. I've never met a cis fanfic writer who realises that trans men can age.

(See chapter 2 for more images of diverse trans men.)

Not all trans men look like this. But even if a trans man cannot "pass" (a concept rejected by many in the community), or does not want to undergo medical processes that would alter his body, he still deserves the dignity of being treated as a man. Just because a man is non-HRT and/or non-op doesn't mean he has zero genital dysphoria, or he would consent to being penetrated. And, even if he does like to be penetrated, he is not deserving of the infantilisation so commonly heaped upon FTM headcanons. You needn't turn male characters into infantilised caricatures of themselves in order to justify headcanoning them as FTM.

I highly recommend reading this article, authored by a cis gay guy, titled 16 Things I Learned From Having Sex With Trans Men. He writes the following:

Fetishising trans men is problematic for the same reason that fetishising Black men and HIV-positive men is problematic. All three fetishes can lead to harmful stereotypes and misconceptions, and all three can actually reinforce stigma and prejudice.

Guys who fetishise Black men generally proliferate the negative, racist image of men of colour as 'sexual beasts' ready to dominate White men with their massive penises — a dangerous idea that goes back to colonialism and claims made by racist pseudoscientists that Black men are more attuned to baser, animalistic impulses like sex because they are less intelligent, less human than White people.

People who fetishise HIV-positive folks think we're all infectious sex maniacs eagerly spreading our "toxic" seed to anyone unfortunate enough to have sex with us — a concept that contributes to the demonization and criminalisation of HIV and adds to HIV stigma.

And people who fetishise trans men tend to fetishise a false, trans-negative image — the subservient man with a pussy, eager to bottom for a dominant alpha-top. This idea reduces transness to a surgery and contributes to anti-trans hate.

He is one hundred percent correct.

The fetishisation of trans men is the inverse of fetishising trans women, but it is usually ignored as an issue by most LGBT+ groups and movements. Chasers often masculinise/hypersexualise trans women, and feminise/hypersexualise trans men. Contrary to the erasure of the latter, the damaging sexualisation of trans men is a serious issue. It's just as serious an issue as the fetishisation of any demographic.

Learning about real trans men is a key part of pushing back against transphobic fetishisation. The purpose of this guide is twofold; to give cis people an opportunity to learn about trans male experiences and diversity, and to raise awareness about transphobic fetishisation in fandom spaces. I have seen too many cis authors recycle the same tired, transphobic tropes, potentially without even knowing the damage they're doing and the dysphoria they're causing. In an age where trans men are finally getting more visibility, that needs to stop. This guide is an invitation to educate yourself.

I can't do much about people who don't give two shits about the mental health, dysphoria, and dignity of trans men. But I encourage well-meaning, open-minded authors to engage with this guide, and see if you can learn things never before explained to you.

RULE 2: WRITE TRANS MEN THE SAME WAY YOU WRITE CIS MEN.

Do you characterise trans men as adorable, feminine, submissive, or cutesy? Do you only headcanon a character as FTM if he is smaller-bodied, young, or innocent?

Do you look at Peter Parker and decide to erase his personality in favour of a weirdly juvenile, pussy-focussed trope? Does he become weak and submissive just because he's trans? Do you headcanon Stiles Stilinski as a young trans boy, and have a super masculine Derek Hale fucking him in his barely-of-age pussy? Would you rather headcanon a youthful-looking robot as a so-called "trans man" by slapping an artificial vagina on him, as opposed than Hank, an actual human guy from Detroit Become Human canon who could be AFAB? Are you so dissuaded because you consider transmasculinity incompatible with age? Do you suppose that trans men stop existing once we're no longer young and androgynous? Do you take Gavin Reed (a canonically violent, unkind, aggressive man) and make him softer and sweeter because he's trans? Do you focus on Gavin's pussy and contort his personality into a stereotype of submissiveness, when he's the exact opposite in canon? Why do you do that? Why must you infantilise a man the moment you characterise him as FTM?

Why not write trans men having anal sex? Why not write straight trans men who are in relationships with women? Why not write dominant trans men? Assertive trans men? Masculine trans men? Trans men whose personalities remain unchanged compared to canon? Trans men who are in relationships with non-binary people?

You should be asking yourself these questions.

Trans men fuck and show intimacy in so many different ways, inhabiting all manner of diverse sexual and social roles. If you're infantilising grown men and writing as though trans guys are wildly different to cis men, you should really question why you view such men that way. Could it be because you truly view trans men as (a parody of) women? Or as a false, shallow, weak imitation of "real" men? If not, you should realise that you are giving precisely that impression when you depict trans men in such a stereotyping way.

Additionally: Straight trans men exist, just like straight cis men. Many trans men only want to be with women. And some are asexual, among all of the other sexualities. Not all trans men are interested in other men, and some never explore that possibility. Stop conflating trans manhood with always being attracted to guys. When I see (self-described cis) fangirls pumping out cutesy gay trans headcanons, I get suspicious that they're just turning trans guys into a fetish. Usually this builds onto the foundation of repeatedly making one boy in their gay ship unrealistically feminine and submissive, and the other man unrealistically dominant and masculine. It's no coincidence that trans guys come to inhabit the submissive, unrealistically feminine role in sneakily-heteronormative cis fanfiction. Shocker: It's because trans men are just taking the place of a woman (or, let's be real, a girl). I wonder why?

You cannot call yourself an ally of the FTM community if you're treating trans men like a fetish. You can't throw around catchphrases like, "use people's pronouns" and, "everyone is valid", and just think that's good enough. If you're posting explicit pornography that features transphobic fetishisation, and you shamelessly disrespect trans men through this medium, you are perpetuating and excusing transphobia. All of the catchphrases and shallow activism in the world won't compensate for the dehumanisation and dysphoria you're causing.

RULE 3: CONSIDER HOW OFFENSIVE IT IS TO HEADCANON REAL-LIFE CIS MEN AS TRANS.

I'm not going to debate the morality of RPF overall, but I do have a problem with so-called "trans headcanons" of real-life cis men, because that crosses the line. I do not support trans AU RPF, especially considering the racism which underpins most trans male headcanons of celebrities.

We are not a fetish. We are not a kink for cis people to employ when they want to write about a musician/actor/celebrity being penetrated vaginally and being unrealistically submissive. That is reducing trans maleness down to a sexual fetish. Slapping that life experience onto a real-life cis man is an insult to trans men (like myself) who have undergone an extensive, painful, difficult journey to be as male as we can possibly be... yet we will never be cis men. Cis men will never go through what we go through. Being a trans man isn't about being a fetish for cis people, it's about our entire souls. Our entire lives. If you're going to appropriate trans maleness and reduce us to a fetish, you need to seriously think about the message you're sending, and the trans men you will insult.

Opinions are individual. Not everyone has to agree with me. Some trans men may even write trans AU RPF, and to those of you who do, whatever. Feel free. I won't stop you because I have no right to police the behaviour of fellow FTM guys, regardless of how much I personally disagree with it. But, as a trans man, I beg cis writers to stop this kind of fetishisation.

Another point to consider is the mental health of low-disclosure (or "stealth") trans men. What if a male celebrity that you're obsessing over is actually a trans man? Do you care how he would feel, if he were fetishised on the basis of something he wishes to keep private? Can you imagine the discomfort, dysphoria, and distress you might cause such a man? AO3 is publicly-accessible. I cannot imagine the utter horror of being a trans male celebrity and discovering that thousands of strangers are reading and/or writing about you being penetrated vaginally. It would be invasive beyond description. Remember: You cannot always tell that a man is trans. Not all celebrities are cis, even if they're assumed to be. If you headcanon a male celebrity as FTM on the basis of his height, facial features, or stature, you may cause him to feel that he's been "clocked" by fetishists.

RULE 4: ASK YOURSELF WHY YOU'RE INCLUDING A TRANS MAN IN YOUR STORY.

Do you just want to write a trans man getting fucked? If so, do it well. Consult trans male Beta readers first (if you can), and make sure you're proceeding with caution. Smut and erotica is great, I enjoy it frequently myself and I write it too. But when I include someone who is outside of my demographic, I do so with respect. I don't know what it's like to be a lesbian, so I do my research. I listen to lesbian mates of mine, just like I listen to non-binary people when I consider including a non-binary person. Because that's important. Trans men are no exception.

Do you want to include a trans man for the purposes of inclusivity or representation? If so, portraying him properly should be of utmost importance.

Are you including a trans man so that you can turn his transition, or deadname, into a plot point? Are you creating a kind of "mystery" around his identity, that hinges on a cis character accepting him, forcing the trans guy to go through transphobic abuse along the way? If so, then... maybe don't? Those kinds of plots can be done well, but not when the whole thing ultimately revolves around a cis character being characterised as a saint, just for not being a complete asshole about the trans person's identity. Trans people are under no obligation to beg for approval. You can write acceptance tales well, or you can write them very badly. An acceptance tale doesn't need to include horrific abuse and, if it does, it should be forewarned and handled carefully.

I will say that not everybody who is interested in writing trans men is necessarily fetishising us. If you are exploring your gender identity, you may use language that you connect with at that stage of your journey, which may be language that other men would not use. As long as you forewarn any language that you use, you are free to express yourself however you would like, through the lens of headcanons! The only thing I would ask you to consider is that AO3 is a public forum, so it's reasonable to expect that trans men will come across your trans male works. It's possible to explore your own identity while also ensuring nobody (ideally) feels dysphoric, and all that's required in that arena is forewarning of content. If you let your readers know what words you'll use for trans male bodies/genitals, they'll have all the information they need to decide whether they'll be comfortable reading your fics. In fact, many trans readers might relate to you, especially if they're at similar points in their own journeys! So I encourage you, if you're comfortable, to put your works out into the world. Fanfiction can be a wonderful method of self-exploration.

If you are steadfastly cis, and you're not questioning your gender identity whatsoever, you have a different obligation to represent trans men as per the advice communicated to you from within the community. If you are not using trans headcanons to express your own gender identity, and you simply want to include a trans character for the purposes of creativity, diversity, pornography, or anything else, then there are rules that you should respect and follow. Much in the same way that a White person should not apply unrealistic/racist characteristics to Black characters, cis writers should not apply unrealistic/transphobic characteristics to trans characters.

The metaphor obviously isn't a direct comparison (a once-cis person could someday end up identifying as trans), but the point still stands. If you're not currently part of a community, and members of your demographic are the ones perpetuating bigotry against the minorities you want to write, then act accordingly.

An interest in trans representation, and a desire to have fics populated by a broad spectrum of LGBT+ individuals, is not necessarily bad! When depictions of trans men do not deviate from one stereotype of hypersexualised, unrealistic, cutesy trans boyhood, and those depictions are based on a transphobic misrepresentation of true FTM diversity... then we have a problem.

I understand, as do many trans men, that not all cis people have a fetish for us. Being attracted to trans men does not necessarily mean you're treating a whole demographic as a fetish, although you might be. Ultimately, what we need from you (if you are not a trans man) is for you to treat trans men with respect. The trauma, danger, and violence we experience is part of why we're so passionate about defending our identities and the true diversity of trans male bodies, sexualities, and experiences. If you see that passion in your comments section, don't be shocked by it.

RULE 5: RESPECT DYSPHORIC TRANS MEN.

I used to be in a fandom that had a serious problem with cis authors fetishising trans men. One character attracted a disproportionate number of trans male headcanons, and (not coincidentally) he was the slender, youthful-looking, more innocent partner in a popular gay pairing.

An author in particular (who was openly a cis woman) absolutely fucked my mental health. In one classically fetishising fic, she turned the masculine, canon version of this character into an utterly different individual who retained almost none of his original personality. She had written him as a human sex worker, placing him in a situation where he was defined by how he had sex. (You won't believe this... it was with his pussy. Who could've seen that coming?) She described his breasts, then had him fondled and vaginally penetrated by a more dominant, masculine cis man. (Of course.) She put him in a dress and made him uncomfortably feminine, in a way that was incompatible with his canon self. (Classic.) She waxed poetic about how pretty and delicate his appearance was, in contrast to the rough and grizzled nature of the cis men who surrounded him. (Gotta separate trans men from the real men, right?)

As I read on, she reliably ticked almost every single box for fetishising trans men. Later on in the story, she wrote that he bound his chest with strips of fabric, which was a fancy way of saying that he bound his chest with bandages. See Rule 7 below, to understand why that made me so angry.

I'll give her credit for tagging pregnancy in advance, but her handling of that storyline made me so dysphoric that I literally felt sick. Even pre-warned, her fantasy of a cute, dress-wearing, younger trans guy being impregnated by a masculine, older cis guy made me physically ill. The warnings she did provide were sparse and nowhere near adequate, partly because they didn't communicate the extent to which this male character remained the same in name only, whereas the cis man was quite similar (if not identical) to his canon self. Even when the story progressed beyond the trans guy being a dress-wearing sex worker, he was still a stranger to canon. The message this sends is undeniable; in the eyes of such fangirls, in an FTM/M pair, cis men get to be the same as canon, but that's impossible for trans men.

I would've had no issue with a trans man writing that same story. Masculinity, femininity, desire, trauma, gender roles, and sex can be fucking complicated if you're a man who was assigned female at birth, especially if you lived any of your formative years in the role of a girl. Trans men have the right to unpack FTM experiences however we wish. What made me sick was the fact that a cis woman was taking those complicated experiences and bulldozing them, twisting the vulnerability and complexity of trans maleness into a stereotype of girlhood.

It's about intent. If a trans man is saying "this is taken from my own experiences," that's very different from, "I'm a cis woman and I think trans men are delicate little boys with pussies, therefore this cis guy has to unrecognisably change if I'm writing him as a trans man."

At a time when my dysphoria was at its worst, this author made me feel so dysphoric that I wanted to hurt myself. (I wish I was exaggerating but no, I'm not. Don't underestimate dysphoria.) I was naive enough to consider all fanfiction a form of escapism, an LGBT-friendly world where I would be safe from the kind of bullshit I dealt with in real life. My defences were lowered. Now, as an older man who is further along in his transition, I'm less distressed by fetishisation, and not so easily hurt. But not all trans men are in that situation. Many trans men are quite vulnerable.

In response to this fic and to other trans fics she had posted, I left comments in good faith, offering deep insights into how she had provoked a dysphoric response by misrepresenting trans men and offering insufficient warnings. I was neither satisfied nor reassured by the responses I received. More than that, I was horrified to realise that her misrepresentations weren't outliers in this particular fanfic community. She had swallowed and regurgitated other fangirls' feminised depictions of trans men, which were rampant across Tumblr. I won't say she was even the worst offender among the crowd, yet her stories severely impacted me. She's the main reason I left the fandom. I was sick of fangirls writing cis men like men, and trans men like girls. I still am.

To all women who are reading this: Don't be like that author, please. Most trans men, myself included, will despise you for depicting trans men within narrow stereotypes. Plus, if a trans man reaches out to you and informs you that your writing has made him feel like crap, don't reply with flimsy excuses. Have some humility.

"Other people are writing him this way, so I'm just doing the same thing," isn't a good explanation for why you've characterised a trans man as a feminised, submissive version of his canon, cis self. If you'd judge a cis man for fetishising lesbians or trans women, you should realise that exactly the same standards apply to you.

On the topic of trans men wearing dresses, this is a guy named Finn Buchanan.

He is a model. When asked what his favourite feature is, he responded, "Versatility and androgyny. I decided to embrace it rather than resent myself for not passing." He models male, female, and unisex/non-gendered clothing lines. The following photos are from Vogue Hong Kong and Vogue photoshoots:

There are trans guys who are comfortable with dresses/skirts/makeup. There are many others who are not. As a man who is fiercely, unapologetically dysphoric about such things and will never wear them again, I support guys like Buchanan. Whether men wear such things for work (like Buchanan) or for personal expression, there is nothing wrong with that. They are just as male as I am. If a trans guy writes a fic where a trans male character wears a dress, I'm chill with that. He's expressing himself, and I'm genuinely proud of him. I celebrate him. I have written gender non-conforming, feminine trans blokes (in now-deleted stories) and had a lot of fun in that fictional space.

But if a cis person writes a fic where a trans male character wears a dress, I'm very uncomfortable, because it's usually tantamount to misgendering. It has a very different impact than a trans author exploring himself, and usually presents a stereotyped ideal of femininity that is an insult to men like Buchanan. Too often, cis people put trans men in dresses because they see us as girls. They see us as our assigned gender with he/him pronouns slapped on top. There's a big difference there.

Respecting trans men means respecting diversity in trans male communities. Never forget the trans men who were forced to wear dresses/skirts/makeup throughout our lives, and were nearly driven to suicide as a result. We're involved in fandoms too, and will be affected by what you write. Besides... trans men who do wear those things often won't thank you, either, for reducing their gender expression down to a superficial, infantilised trans fetish. That insight comes from trans men who have shared their experiences with me, and whose embrace of femininity and gender non-conformity was actually hampered by the fetishisation of trans men.

My advice would be to not put trans men in dresses/skirts/makeup, unless you can guarantee that your motivations aren't transphobic, and you know how to represent gender non-conforming men without infantilising them. Why are you putting your trans male character in a dress? What's your motivation, beyond seeing trans men as girls? In a gay pair, why is the feminised partner so often the trans bloke by default? Ask yourself these questions, and consider your impact on dysphoric FTM audiences. Your intent, bias, and literary execution affects us.

Plus, if it even needs to be said, cis people should not reduce trans people to our genitals. It follows that fangirls should not reduce trans men to our genitals, assume we all have the same genitalia, or assert that we all use our genitals in the same ways.

The two things that all trans men have in common is that we are presumed female at birth, but are men. Beyond that, we're hugely diverse. We have many different kinds of genitals, and we use them in many different ways. Some of us have vaginas which are non-op and non-HRT. Some of us undergo Metoidioplasty surgeries. Some of us undergo Phalloplasty surgeries. Some of us undergo vaginal closing surgeries, with or without further surgical affirmation. Some of us experience extensive bottom growth that allows for penetrative sex, whether we use penis extenders or not. Some of us are female-presumed intersex with varied genitalia. Some trans men, including Mason Caminiti in the documentary Man Made, refuse to be naked in front of their own spouses until they've had bottom surgery. Genital dysphoria can be that intense. It can greatly impact men's lives, plus the lives of their partners. Never forget that some of your trans male readers directly associate their trans maleness with having a penis, whether that means using prosthetics or having surgery.

If you're about to embark on a trans male headcanon, take a moment to consider the men who are starved of representation that isn't pussy-focussed. Ask yourself why you want to add to the "trans boy with a pussy" pile.

RULE 6: HANDLE PREGNANCY AND MENSTRUATION CAREFULLY.

I would advise not discussing menstruation, specifically relating to trans male characters. Depicting that subject requires tact, research, communication with trans men, and the use of language which is not infantilising. Many cis people portray menstruating trans men as "cutesy, oblivious, small damsels in distress", which is a critique afforded to me by a fellow trans guy.

My intent is not to shame any trans men who still menstruate, or any AFAB people whose bodies function in that way. The ability to carry children is, in essence, a wonderful thing! (One of my favourite documentaries is From Daddy's Tummy, about an Australian father who carried his own child.) But when you have gender dysphoria, what is delightful for others can be genuinely horrific for you personally. Cis authors need to be aware that no two trans male readers will respond to one topic the same way. Some trans men are fine with menstruation. Many are not.

Even if a trans man struggles with such bodily functions, he is probably not a helpless little boy who needs to be bundled up in blankets and fed chocolate. Care and affection from partners is wonderful, but you don't need to turn trans men into childlike, cutesy boys in order to portray them being comforted during menstruation. A grown man can snuggle up to his partner and eat chocolate without being reduced to an infantile caricature of himself.

Men who menstruate work jobs. Men who menstruate have lovers. Men who menstruate are adults, professionals, fathers, and husbands. Menstruation is not synonymous with being weak, a statement which applies to all people who menstruate, including cis women and AFAB non-binary people. Many trans men, if still menstruating, just get on with life. It's sometimes uncomfortable, painful, dysphoria-inducing, and annoying. But not all trans men are completely emotionally disarmed by menstruation. Many use it as a motivation to work hard, go to therapy, and prepare for surgery. Many use it as a motivation to begin testosterone, as do some AFAB non-binary people. Many such people take other medications, including progesterone birth control, to control and stop menstruation. We cope. So maybe don't treat your trans male character like a poor little boy who needs a cis white knight to come to his rescue and make him feel better, otherwise he couldn't possibly take care of himself.

Onto pregnancy... which is a complex subject that every trans man feels differently about. Many men consider it their worst nightmare, and are intensely motivated to prevent pregnancy from ever occurring. Some are ambivalent about the idea of fathering a child in such a way, whether they ultimately go through with pregnancy or not. Some actively want to carry children and decide to take that step-- such as Ja’Mel Ware, who isolated himself from the world during his pregnancy, to protect himself and his unborn child from the discrimination he would face as a Black pregnant man. He also paused testosterone to become pregnant, a step he thought he'd never take until he met his husband. A journey I would never embark on, certainly, but one which I respect deeply.

Pregnancy is such a heavy, loaded topic for the whole FTM community. As a trans man who fits into the first category (re: worst nightmare), I do not want to see cis people writing trans male pregnancy fics. I have never seen it done well by a cis author. Further than that, the way that cis people talk about trans male pregnancy is often disgusted, fetishistic, obsessive, or violent. Even trans men who do wish to carry children have been left with trauma by cis perceptions of trans male fertility, beyond what occurs in fanfic communities. That is why I, currently, cannot provide any recommendations which would lead to cis people writing trans male pregnancy fics. I would recommend steering clear unless you can seek guidance from trans men.

I can handle writing kink-heavy, super sexualised fics that contain mentions of impregnation, but even then, I'm unable to write a trans man actually carrying and birthing a child. That stuff is too traumatising for me. Once it goes beyond sex and kink, into real-world pregnancy stuff, it's dysphoria-inducing for me. Every trans person has different limits. The kinks I enjoy are, in all honesty, seriously upsetting for many other trans men. That's why writing should be posted responsibly and carefully. Because we all have unique experiences of dysphoria, sexual desire, and trauma. Even in my case, I don't like reading cis-authored fics that focus on FTM breeding kinks. For me, and many other trans men, certain topics only feel safe when they're coming from a trans male author.

2024 UPDATE: Trans author transcarlosreyes has this to add:

What I want cis people to understand about writing pregnant trans masculine and trans male characters:

One: This is an immense responsibility to take on. Trans men who have chosen to experience pregnancy have only recently been in control of their own stories. I think of the Thomas Beatie documentary. Some of the language used it in is transphobic, and it also seems to focus an unnecessary amount on descriptions of his genitals, among other things. I also think of my friend who was interviewed by a news station about his birth experience. What was the article headline about? The fact that one nurse excused herself from his care team because she didn’t think she could stop her use of gendered language. Even when pregnant trans men tell their stories, they are frequently interpreted through cisgender lenses. If you think you have a special or unique take on writing a pregnant trans man, you probably do not, and you likely do not grasp the nuances of trans male pregnancies. I really, really want to emphasize the importance of own voices stories for marginalized people, especially for people like trans men that choose to get pregnant or continue a pregnancy. Inaccurate and harmful portrayals of trans pregnancies can impact public perspectives.

Two: If you think you absolutely must write a story with a pregnant trans man, the second thing you need to know is research, research, research. There are so many men like Myles Brady-Davis, Thomas Beatie, Kayden X Coleman, Trystan Reese, and Danny Wakefield who are open about their experiences as pregnant men, and they frequently discuss it. Some of these men also offer classes and other information, such as studies on trans male fertility, to the general public. There are also a variety of trans men who post publicly on TikTok and Instagram. There are documentaries by people like Freddy McConnell. There are blog posts, Reddit threads and public-facing forums where men from a variety of backgrounds share their experiences. Read them, learn about them, learn there’s no one way to depict a pregnant trans man and that (like every other group of people) pregnant trans men are different and have different experiences. What you should never do is enter a safe space for trans and gender non-conforming pregnant people to get more “insight.” We work hard to keep these spaces safe from curious eyes, and from the many people who wish to hurt pregnant trans men. If you’re going to go in a pregnant trans man’s comments to ask questions for your fic, check the links to see if there is an option for a consultation that will allow you to ask your question. And before asking, do research to make sure that your question hasn’t been asked already, and that you’re not just regurgitating transphobia.

Three: Once again, I encourage you to reflect on why you feel the need to write a fic with a pregnant trans man. If you do, know that:

• Pregnant trans men have a wide array of experiences. Pregnant trans men are incredibly diverse. It is not just the “passing” white men that make the news.
  
  
• Pregnant trans men are Black and Hispanic and Indigenous/First Nations and Asian and multiracial and multiethnic.
  
  
• Pregnant trans men can experience compounded marginalization as a result of being pregnant and trans.
  
  
• Pregnant trans men are gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, etc.
  
  
• Pregnant trans men have a range of planning involved in deciding to become pregnant (or continue a pregnancy). Some men meticulously plan by going off of testosterone, taking folic acid, and tracking ovulation. Some men get the surprise of their life and decide to continue a pregnancy.
  
  
• Pregnant trans men have a variety of partners, and our partners' genitals do not determine how we get pregnant. Insemination, IVF, and penetrative sex are some ways that trans men may choose to get pregnant. Even in situations where penetrative sex with someone with sperm is an option for pregnancy, a trans man may choose IVF or insemination for any number of reasons.
  
  
• Pregnant trans men have a variety of experiences regarding dysphoria during pregnancy. Some pregnant trans men find pregnancy to be dysphoria-inducing in its entirety. Some pregnant trans men find some body changes to induce dysphoria. Some pregnant trans men may only experience increased social dysphoria. Some pregnant trans men do not experience dysphoria. Some pregnant trans men have even said that it felt affirming for them, in that they felt comfortable in their bodies and found an appreciation for them in that their bodies were able to create a human that they think is pretty rad.
  
  
• Pregnant trans men have a variety of pregnancy and birth experiences and choices that run the gamut. I won’t get into that, but keep in mind that pregnant trans men (especially those of us who plan pregnancy) are often meticulous when selecting medical professionals during pregnancy to alleviate the stress of transphobia.
  
  
• There is so much nuance in writing this. Pregnancies in general are like snowflakes. No two trans men are going to have the same experience of pregnancy, and there is so much nuance.

I have yet to come across a respectful and accurate depiction of a trans pregnancy in a fic that was written by a cisgender person. There is so much complexity on this topic, and it’s so nuanced that I can’t stress enough how important it is to let trans people tell our own stories, especially about a topic that is as complex as this one. It is going to require a lot of research and work to make sure it is portrayed accurately. It shouldn’t be headed into lightly. And honestly, if your research into this topic doesn’t cause you to realize how important it is to let pregnant trans men tell their own stories, well, I encourage you to do more self reflection before writing.

Author's note: The above advice has been edited to be shorter and more digestible, since this guide is already quite long. For further insight, please see the comments that transcarlosreyes generously left on this chapter!

RULE 7: DON'T PORTRAY DAMAGING STUFF. WRITE CHEST BINDING RESPONSIBLY.

This is a separate rule to "do your research", because it warrants special attention. If you're cis, you should avoid the following things... unless you're actually prepared to address serious issues which cause injury, mental illness, and death among AFAB trans people.

• Scenes of graphic assault, physical and/or sexual, where a trans man is suffering at the hands of transphobic attackers. Brandon Teena, a member of the FTM community, died in circumstances like that... and his story is one among many. According to the 2015 USTS, trans men and AFAB non-binary people experience the worst rates of lifetime sexual assault in the whole trans community. Unless you are fully equipped to handle a storyline that may greatly affect traumatised readers, steer clear. The rape and assault of trans men and other AFAB trans people is an under-discussed, sensitive issue. Ask yourself whether you're actually ready to take it on.
• Trans men self-harming. This includes forms of self harm that are not recognised by cis people. For example, binding unsafely despite the risks, with bandages or duct tape. You can explore dark themes in your writing, sure, but be responsible about it. You never know what young kid you're influencing, what your readers take away from your stories.
• Misgendering, deadnaming, and unnecessary transition-related conflict. You can explore this stuff, you just have to be careful. Write it well. Be responsible. Tag everything. Then you're giving guys a chance to opt out before reading. If a trans bloke is reading FTM fanfiction to de-stress because he's dealing with transphobic abuse at home, do you really want to catch him off-guard with a storyline about a trans guy being treated like shit?

If you don't understand why bandage binding is dangerous, or you've seen characters binding their chests unsafely in movies/shows, I highly recommend checking out this page. It's an in-depth exploration of chest binding, with examples from media that you might've been influenced by. If you're going to depict chest binding, it's important to do so responsibly, without falling into common (and harmful) tropes. Don't do what Ruby Rose did. Don't influence trans male, non-binary, gender non-conforming, or questioning readers to hurt themselves by binding with bandages. If you have a platform, even a small one, think about the people you will reach. Think about the behaviours you're encouraging.

However, not all of us bind, and you don't necessarily need to include binding if you're going to write a trans man. Some trans men do enjoy their pre/non-op chests, and even enjoy them being touched. Some trans men are particularly able to access that pleasure once they're hairier and physically altered by testosterone, which is fucking awesome. As a cis person, though, you need to be aware that such touching will make many FTM readers profoundly dysphoric. That's content you need to pre-warn. Not because it's wrong or bad in any way-- simply because all trans men are different.

Binding during any strenuous activity (including sex) can be uncomfortable and potentially harmful. The ribcage needs to expand and contract naturally as we take deep breaths. This is something a lot of us struggle with. Some guys do stay bound down during sex, and this is something you can include in your fic, provided you're careful about it and you include notes that educate readers about the dangers of binding. I would actually suggest having your pre/non-op FTM character wear a t-shirt during sex, perhaps with a sports bra beneath, as it's a realistic way to reflect the sexual habits of many trans guys. That's how many of us avoid gender dysphoria.

That said, you can just write a post-op trans guy! That may solve these questions pretty easily. Further, you don't necessarily need to spend too much time describing or emphasising the scarring of a guy's chest... or the ways in which he is different to a cis man.

Perhaps your FTM character was born with a flatter chest and is happy the way he is, like this guy. Perhaps your story is set in a universe where commercial binders aren't a thing, in which case your FTM character could sew himself a taut undershirt or something similar, which is essentially describing a binder. Perhaps your story is set in a scifi universe where all kinds of medical interventions and treatments are available. Perhaps your story is set in a fantasy universe where magic could be used to affirm a trans male identity. There are so many fun, interesting, different avenues of exploration beyond slapping some bandages on your trans male character. Get creative! Don't default to a method of binding which reinforces dangerous ideas in your readers' minds.

RULE 8: FOREWARN THE LANGUAGE YOU WILL USE.

Being at odds with your body is uncomfortable at best, and severely debilitating at worst. Some men despise the fact that they weren't born with penises, and are hugely upset by female-typical language being used to describe trans male anatomy (pussy, vagina, cunt, etc). And yes, I know that these words are technically gender-neutral in the grand enlightened scheme of things, but when you're transitioning from female to male, the association is often impossible to shake. Nor should we be expected to shake off that association. Trans men are not obligated to be comfortable with anything, especially when it comes to our own bodies.

For many of us, female-typical words are seriously powerful, in good and bad ways. Just because a trans man has reclaimed such words privately does not mean he'll be automatically comfortable with a growing tide of cis people slathering the words "pussy" and "clit" and "cunt" over FTM porn. How much work did it take for him to reclaim those words? How much pain did cis fetishists put him through, as he proceeded on that journey? You have no idea. Think about such men when you post stories, as well as the men who will never, ever use words aside from "cock" and "dick" and other male-typical terms.

If you plan to use any of these words, you need to state that at the beginning of your fic, so that you won't trigger trans male readers unfairly.

• Vagina.
• Pussy.
• Cunt.
• Clit.
• Breasts.
• Boobs.
• Tits.

Not all of us are triggered by the same things, which is precisely why cis authors need to stop assuming they can focus disproportionately on pre/non-op genitals and not offer any forewarning. Some guys are okay with one or two of these words, some are okay with all of them, some of us are okay with none of them. Many AFAB non-binary people may also be upset by the reckless and inconsiderate use of such language. Write responsibly.

Many of us also hate the following terms:

• Penis in vagina sex.
• Vaginal sex.
• Female orgasms.
• Cunnilingus.
• Pegging.
• Time of the month.
• Period.
• Strap-on.
• Squirting.

This is because all of the above have female connotations which, while inoffensive (and sexy) to some men, are highly upsetting to others. Many of us just want to feel that we have a penis, and want to have sex like cis men. Many of us don't want to see cis-authored fics where trans men are described using the words above.

Many trans guys and AFAB non-binary people are okay with the terms "strap-on" and "pegging", but I know many trans men who aren't. Most of us who consider ourselves "born in the wrong body" (which is a term I apply to myself but not to others who don't relate), and have gender dysphoria, do not want to be so intimately reminded of our pre/non-op anatomy or the ways in which we are different to cis men. I consider my prosthetic to be my penis. An extension of myself. A manifestation of what I should've had from birth. I don't want it to be called a strap-on. I fuck my boyfriends, I don't "peg" them.

Consider the following terms, which can function as tags without highlighting pre/non-op FTM anatomy in ways that may make trans men dysphoric:

• Oral Sex, instead of "Cunnilingus".
• Penetration (Front Hole Sex), instead of "Vaginal Sex".
• Front Hole Fingering, or just Fingering, instead of "Vaginal Fingering".
• Prosthetic Penis, instead of "Strap-On".

For example, AO3 allows the tag Penetration (Front Hole Sex) to function as "Vaginal Sex" in searches, so it works perfectly as a filtering tag. (You can tell because, if you go to https://archiveofourown.info/tags/Penetration%20(Front%20Hole%20Sex)/works, you'll be redirected to the Vaginal Sex tag). This means that trans men who have filtered out fics with vaginal sex will not see the work, and trans men who are looking for such works will see the fic.

This suggestion is informed by my own dysphoria and preferences, and the preferences of trans men I have met throughout the years. I am aware that I cannot speak for every trans man that exists (it's simply not possible, we're a diverse lot), but the language recommendations I make are informed and have been deeply considered.

If you're genuinely trying to write trans men, and you're not just feeding your fetish of helplessly submissive trans pussyboys, try using male-typical language. See if you're still interested in writing trans male characters once they exist beyond a pussy-focussed submissive stereotype. If you must use female-typical language to describe a trans man, add a note like this one to the beginning of your fic:"I will be describing a trans man being penetrated in this story. I have used the terms "pussy" and "cunt". If that triggers you, please do not continue reading."

Important: If you are going to include a disclaimer about language used, it's better to do so in your author's notes, rather than the description of the fic itself, or the tags. That way, you'll spare dysphoric trans men who are scrolling through FTM fanfiction, and might become distressed. When you're feeling particularly dysphoric, there's nothing more disheartening and anger-inducing than multiple authors throwing the words "clit" and "cunt" and such at you.

I have written some pretty hardcore kink stories featuring trans men (although those stories are now deleted). I always forewarn the language I will use. I write bottom trans men, versatile trans men, top trans men, and explore a variety of fetishes and gender presentations. I write what my dysphoria allows me to write, and I respect that no person's dysphoria will be identical to mine. Sometimes I can't even go back and re-read my own stuff. Dysphoria often fluctuates. And I would rather die than read some cis, adult woman's fantasy of a cute, tiny, helpless trans boy squirting during sex, while he's being rammed by an aggressively dominant cis man, preceded with zero warnings. Yikes!

FTM ANATOMY.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these photographs. They are all publicly available on the internet, and have been posted without any usage restrictions that I could find. No identifying faces or tattoos are shown. These images are included for educational purposes.

Here are some healed Phalloplasty penises (from this public resource).

Here are non-op and post-Metoidioplasty trans guys from this public resource, which is an archived version of a public Tumblr blog. Be aware that there is a reclaimed slur in the blog description, and there is abundant sexual content.

And, for what it's worth, here are some photos of a cis man (from this public resource, which is an extremely explicit photo-sharing site):

Men's bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and many trans men look incredibly similar to cis men.

Part of the reason that trans men are so emasculated by cis women is the near-constant body shaming of men with standard or small penis sizes. If you are a man who does not conform to high expectations, whether because you are trans or intersex or just unique in physique, you are commonly mocked or infantilised. It's happened to me, and it's happened to cishet men I've known.

Connecting with the real diversity of men's bodies will help you to portray trans men properly... and with kindness. If I had a dollar for every self-described "body positive" woman who also mocked men's penises and made size jokes, apropos of nothing, I'd be able to afford the bottom surgery that they'd also disrespect. Just because body shaming of men is common (and even encouraged) in some women-centric spaces does not make it okay or harmless. Emasculation of minority men (especially trans, gay, and intersex men) has become too commonplace in fanfiction contexts. Diversity of sex characteristics should not be demeaned. In my experience, cis women who reduce manhood to phallus size in this manner are perpetuating, endorsing, and expressing toxic masculinity, as well as transphobic and anti-intersex bigotry. If you are not a man, and you are writing men, you should ask yourself if that's what you're doing when you emasculate men with diverse bodies (and especially genitals).

Anti-FTM transphobia doesn't occur in a vacuum. I have more solidarity with cis men than ever before, since transitioning. Once you start noticing it, anti-men body shaming is everywhere, from family movies to magazines to fanfiction, where it is completely acceptable to mock men with small dicks. That's part of the reason so many cis fangirls can't seem to characterise trans men as men. If we don't have penises, how could we possibly be dominant? How could we possibly be men? We must be boys. We must be soft and sweet and pliant and submissive. If we have small phalluses, how could we possibly satisfy a partner unless we're submissive? Of course we're a convenient target for forced feminisation fantasies, and exaggerated manifestations of the narrow expectations forced upon men.

(A quick note: The fetishisation, misrepresentation, and sheer misunderstanding of intersex bodies is a massive issue in AO3 fanfiction, and deserves its own guide. In the meantime, here is some info.)

If you're going to write a trans man, you do not need to focus on his vagina as a focal point of his submissiveness. Consider exploring a range of bodies and ways to have sex. Even if a man does not have a penis, he can still dominate using his hands, his mouth, his front hole, his arse, and his words. He does not have to be submissive just because he has certain genitals, and you do not need to use female-typical language to describe him every single time you approach intimate scenes.

Consider writing a diversity of trans guys, instead of feminising trans men for the sake of fetishising us. Men with phallo cocks, depending on the type of operation, can maintain erections for as long as they want. Pretty hot, right? Make use of this! Write dominant top trans guys, sometime. Change it up. And you can write dominant top trans men even without them having Phallo/Meta cocks. Being dominant doesn't require a phallus. Being submissive doesn't require a vulva.

Trip Richards, a trans male sex worker, spoke on this in an interview:

A bigger issue is the way that trans men are shoehorned into certain types of sexual roles/roleplay, such as always being seen as bottoms or submissives. I fight against these assumptions in my own work, and have made a concerted effort to produce films where I am in dominant and topping positions, just so that people realise that trans male sexual roles are as diverse as cis male roles. 

Here is a film still from a prosthetic promotional video, featuring a trans male wearing a silicone cock.

Here are photographs of trans people with ReelMagik prosthetic penises, which can also be used during sex.

There is nothing wrong with being pre/non-op, or taking pride in your birth anatomy. Many guys are cool with what they have. But, as you can see above, some of us (whether constantly or occasionally) prefer to have cocks. Prosthetics are amazing nowadays, and there are so many options to choose from. You can write a trans man and focus on his cock. Whether it's silicone or flesh, he can have a cock.

Also, if you're writing a futuristic fic, you can give the trans man a cis-appearing cock. I refuse to believe that AO3 can feature robot sex, sentient androids, aliens, magic transformation, and all other kinds of wonderful things, yet advancements in surgery or trans body modification are somehow improbable. Why not give your trans male character a penis? If you can write cis blokes with dicks, you should be capable of writing trans blokes with dicks.

We're out here, masculine and diverse, feminine and dominant, having sex in all kinds of ways. That should be reflected by the works on this site. Try something new, instead of infantilising us.

CONCLUSION AND ADVICE.

Defaulting to a stereotype of femininity, whenever you write FTM guys, displays a disturbing perception of trans manhood which focusses far too much on the fact that such men are AFAB. Question why you feel the need to focus on a trans man's vagina. Question why you're always partnering a submissive, feminine trans man with a dominant, masculine cis man. Question why you're motivated to write about trans men in the first place.

If you're doing your best to write trans men respectfully, actually take the time to explore what it means to be a man. Here are some final suggestions to at least consider:

• Listen to trans guys when we talk about our bodies.
• Write straight trans men who have sex with women.
• If you are interested in writing a gay trans man, consider partnering him with another trans man.
• Headcanon an older male character as FTM, rather than a younger male character.
• Write top and dominant trans men, and broaden your ideas about what it means to top sexual partners.
• Give your trans male character a cock.
• Explore anal sex rather than defaulting to front hole sex, if you would like to write a bottom trans man.
• Describe trans men as being plus-sized, hairy, beefy, muscular, stocky, lanky, or any number of body types beyond petite, slender, and conventionally attractive by women's standards.
• Seek out willing FTM Beta readers if you are writing an FTM character. Seek out willing transmasc non-binary Beta readers if you are writing a transmasc non-binary character. They should be someone who is already involved in fanfic spaces, and is comfortable reading cis-authored fiction. If you do meet a willing Beta reader, analyse your own writing before you send anything to them, so that you're not sending fetishistic, dysphoria-inducing content.
• Be open to receiving feedback from trans readers. Respond to criticism with humility and kindness. If a trans man says that you have made him dysphoric through your writing, or points out that you posted dysphoria-inducing content with no warning, be prepared to edit or remove/improve/repost your fanfiction.

Chapter 2 features a gallery of portraits. I recommend browsing those images to broaden your perspective on trans men.

Chapter Text

DISCLAIMERS.

This list doesn't contain every single trans man in existence, of course. There are many more trans men in this world, and throughout history, who are not featured in this guide. There are always more FTM pioneers to discover. We have always existed, and we have always had diverse sex lives, perspectives, transitions, etc.

I do not own any of these photographs. They are all publicly available on the internet, and the subjects' gender history is already public knowledge. In fact, many of them are activists. I am not outing anybody.

There are photos of pre/non-op bodies in this gallery. If you experience gender dysphoria, proceed with caution. Any photos/links that include nudity are being shown for educational purposes, as the aim of this guide is to improve fandom depictions of trans men (and fanfiction often includes sex and/or nudity).

There are some adult links, but this guide is listed as having explicit content, so only adults should be reading this anyway.

GALLERY.

Juani Santos Peréz, an FTM pioneer who was one of the first people to have gender-affirming surgery in Cuba, and refers to himself as "Cuba's first transsexual" in the documentary Transit Havana. Here is a photograph of him with another trans man named Liam Duran, when Duran was 28 and Peréz was 64.

Jamison Green. Father, author, FTM pioneer, White American, bisexual, and documentary star. Born in 1948.

Trip Richards. Male model, activist, and sex worker. He uses the labels bisexual and pansexual to describe himself. I highly recommend his video Muscle Bear's Guide to Fine Dining! (It features hot bear sex, the 69 position, and facesitting. Yum.) For videos in which Trip is dominant with a woman, see his shoots with Jessy Dubai and Codi. Trip also does threesome scenes in which he both gives and receives, and partners with non-binary performers. He also has sex with other trans men. Trans men can, and do, have sex in so many ways! Get creative with your porn!

Alexander Lane Miller. Activist, American of colour, and subject of a photography series. When the above photo was taken, he had begun testosterone but not had top surgery. Many trans men live that way, temporarily or permanently. Many men work jobs, become fathers, have sex, and thrive in bodies such as this.

Here is Alex with his girlfriend:

You can read about his transition in-depth here, which I highly recommend.

Spencer Bergstedt. Attorney, activist, author, White American, and leather daddy. As discussed in this Instagram post, he transitioned in 1995 and has been a leather daddy for 30+ years. The above picture shows him 1 year on testosterone, versus how he looks now! Never forget– older men can be trans, too. Being FTM isn't synonymous with being young.

Aryan Pasha. Lawyer and India's first out trans male bodybuilder.

Leo Sheng. Chinese American actor, queer-identifying man.

Ryan Cassata. American musician who has had top surgery, but does not (at the time of writing) intend to start testosterone. Respecting trans men means respecting all kinds of transitions, rather than infantilising men who don't meet a certain standard.

FTM portraits from the series Out in Japan, featuring Yuku Iura, Asami Murase, Kasho Iizuka, Midori Saito, Aiki Saito, and Shuto Mori.

Portraits from the series American Boys. The subjects include trans men and transmasc people. This guide is specifically about depicting trans men, but you should keep diversity of this kind in mind as you approach writing an FTM headcanon. By that I mean, you should consider applying FTM headcanons to characters of all body types, ethnicities, and cultural backgrounds.

CrashPad Series performers who are FTM, transmasc, Two Spirit, and otherwise gender-diverse. Again, while this guide is specifically about trans male representation in fanfiction, these performers have produced wonderful, intimate, sexy porn scenes that will help you to push back against stereotypes about how trans people fuck. The performers' porn names (in order of appearance) are Kit Crow, Skip Marshall, Dee Darkholme, Jaq Quicksilver, Billy Lore, Goddexx Mayari, Puck Goodfellow, Cosmo Bug, Fletch, Beau Bug, Jersey Noah, and Ramses Rodstein. There are many more trans male and gender-diverse performers in CrashPad Series episodes, so I encourage you to have a browse!

Various models from the gc2b website. I don't presume to know these people's gender identities but (as with American Boys and CrashPad Series) they are an example of diversity that also exists in FTM communities. Also, note that chest binders come in all shapes and colours nowadays. For me, and many other trans men, skin-coloured binders are ideal, because we want our binders to be as invisible as possible. Other trans men enjoy brightly-coloured and patterned binders. Such binders would've made me very dysphoric (before I had top surgery anyway), but no two trans men are the same.

Elz Carrad. Māori man who starred in the groundbreaking LGBT+ film Rūrangi. In this 2020 article he and his fiancé (a cis woman) were interviewed about their relationship.

Tommy Murrell. Black American bodybuilder who starred in Man Made (2018). You can read more about the film here.

Kim, both pre-op and post-op, from the documentary Finding Kim. (A great film that should nonetheless be approached with caution. Read a review of it here.)

Hosoda Tomoya. Japanese politician, previously a medical technologist, who was the first openly trans man to have been elected to public office. Making Japan, by extension, the first country where a trans man has been knowingly elected.

Kade Gottlieb. American drag performer, pansexual, and the first openly trans man to compete in RuPaul's Drag Race. Just like cis male drag queens, he uses she/her pronouns when embodying his drag persona Gottmik. I, and many other trans men, would never be comfortable being addressed in such a way, but that's just another example of all trans men being different! You can read more about his relationship with makeup and femininity here.

Larry Oluchukwu Akusinanwa. Nigerian, former nun, father, co-founder and vice chairman of Queer Base Austria (an organization that supports LGBTIQ refugees), and board member of Afrorainbow Austria.

Eziah Blake. Performer, Black American, musician, and activist.

A mixed-race American man named Logan, who has spastic diplegia cerebral palsy and regularly uses a wheelchair. In the words of Logan’s wonderfully supportive father, “His coming out as trans is just one facet of who Logan is. Logan is a visible minority, he is a person with a physical disability, he is a person with learning disabilities, he is a survivor.” You can learn more about Logan in the documentary Unbecoming (2019), but be aware that it is profoundly emotional and very confronting. You can read a review of it here.

Jake Graf. White British actor, filmmaker, male model, and husband of trans woman Hannah Graf. The pair have two children, conceived with Jake's biological material via a surrogate.

Laith Ashley. American male model, activist, and asexual man.

Verity Smith. British rugby player and activist, who suffered extreme discrimination for being a trans male athlete.

Secret Guyz. Band comprised of trans men. They are Yoshihara Shuto, Yukichi, and Ikeda Taiki.

Krow Kian. Canadian, gay trans man, and male model. The above images were taken from the documentary Krow’s TRANSformation, where he documented his last modelling job “as a female” (in his own words), and his first modelling job as a transitioned man.

Matthew Jacobs and James Darling in Maggie West's series 23.

Brian Michael Smith. American activist and actor who broke records, as the first out Black trans man in a regular role on network television (in 9-1-1 Lone Star).

Viktor Belmont. Sex worker, White male model, and activist.

Carter Brown. American activist, survivor of mental illness and workplace discrimination, founder of Black Transmen, Inc.

Lucas Silveira. Portuguese-Canadian musician, and the first openly trans man to have signed with a major record label.

Leo Aces Collins. White British artist, life model, and gay poet with cerebral palsy.

Patricio Manuel. Black American boxer, activist, partner to a non-binary person named Amita Swadhin.

Robert Eads. Documentary star, White American, heterosexual trans man, father, transsexual. Born in 1945, died of ovarian cancer in 1999.

Taz Clay. First Nations Brotherboy trans man.

Loren Cameron. Transsexual photographer, White American, author, and activist, born in 1959. He died in 2022, although the passing of this FTM pioneer was largely ignored at the time.

Kylar William Broadus. Attorney, activist, Black American, first trans person to testify in front of the US Senate, and founder of the Trans People of Color Coalition. You can listen to him speak here, as part of a trans oral history archive.

Benjamin Melzer. White German male model, activist, and the first trans man to be featured on the cover of Men's Health.

Willmer Broadnax. Black American gospel singer, pictured bottom right. Born in 1916, died in 1992. He did not undergo a medical transition.

Mason Caminiti in Man Made (2018). Mason is a father, a White American, and a bodybuilder who spoke extensively about his transition in the documentary.

Maxim Lupin. Leather alpha pup, activist, and queer-identifying man of colour.

Billy Tipton. White American jazz musician. Born in 1914, died in 1989. He did not undergo a medical transition.

Tiq Milan. Activist, public speaker, Black American, journalist, and consultant.

Reed Erickson. Transsexual engineer, activist, White American, and philanthropist. Born in 1917, died in 1992. He was responsible for a huge amount of progress in LGB+ and trans communities, but gets almost no credit for it, although that's changing in recent years. He extensively funded the endocrinologist Harry Benjamin, who developed the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care... now called WPATH. Erickson was at the centre of progress when very few people wanted to even admit that transsexuals (much less female-to-male transsexuals) even existed. To reiterate a point that, by now, I hope is glaringly obvious: trans men are so much more than a cis fantasy. Throughout history and the modern day, we are men with autonomy and power and desires.

Tuck photographed by Amos Mac.

Kye Allums. Black American artist, activist, and former basketball player. He was the first openly transgender NCAA Division I college athlete.

Chaz Bono. Actor, White American, and author.

Shawn Stinson. Black American bodybuilder and veteran who judged the Man Made (2018) competition.

Elliot Fletcher. Actor, White American, and activist.

Kenny Ethan Jones. Male model, activist, and man of colour.

Jamie Raines. White British activist, Youtuber, and bisexual man.

Chapter Text

If you'd like to learn more about portraying trans men, and you learn better through visuals than written content, I recommend checking out this site:

www.transmaleresources.com

It features films, shows, documentaries, and games that include trans male (and AFAB non-binary) characters/interviewees. If you watch media that portrays trans men reasonably well, there's the chance you'll be able to incorporate such depictions into your own written work. Below are some key recommendations, including documentaries that allow trans men to use their own words and offer their own perspectives.

For more information about each show/film, check out the site that's linked above. Most of these recommendations have content warnings, and many are certainly not perfect, so you should read the reviews before watching anything on this list.

SHOWS.

Tales of the City (2019). Trans man (Jake Rodriguez) played by Garcia (American trans actor of colour). Read the full website review here.

The L Word: Generation Q (2019). Trans men played by Leo Sheng (Chinese American trans man) and Brian Michael Smith (Black American trans man). Plus, several non-binary characters including Max Sweeney (played by Daniel Sea) and Dre (played by Carmen LoBue). Read the full website review here.

Work in Progress (2019). Trans man (Chris) played by Theo Germaine (White American trans actor). Absolutely hilarious, quite dark, and a recommended watch.

9-1-1: Lone Star (2020). Trans man (Paul Strickland) played by Brian Michael Smith. Groundbreaking representation.

Rūrangi (2020). Trans man (Caz Davis) played by Elz Carrad (Māori trans man). Season 1 was also re-released as a film, and it's my favourite FTM film of all time.

Somebody Somewhere (2022). Trans guy (Fred Rococo) played by Murray Hill (American trans actor and drag king pioneer). Read full website review here. If you want to see an older trans man getting married to a woman, and living his happiest life, this show is for you!

Gotham Knights (2023). Trans man (Cullen Row) played by Tyler DiChiara (American trans male actor). Read full website review here.

DOCUMENTARIES/INTERVIEWS.

Shinjuku Boys (1995). Documentary about three Onabe-identifying people, including a medically-transitioning man named Tatsu (pictured above). All three have relationships with women. Kumi, one of the documentary stars, is in a relationship with a trans woman.

You Don't Know Dick: The Courageous Hearts of Transsexual Men (1997). Documentary about several trans men, most of whom are White Americans. At least one is gay, one is bisexual, and several are straight. Includes FTM pioneers Loren Cameron, Jamison Green, and Max Wolf Valerio.

Southern Comfort (2001). Documentary about Robert Eads, a White American trans man, in his last year of life. He was turned away from regular doctors and hospitals, and also from a hospital that accepted trans women, meaning his ovarian cancer went untreated until he was dying. Eads' family and friends (including other trans men) are also interviewed.

Passing: Profiling the Lives of Young Trans Men of Color (2015). Short documentary about three trans men of colour discussing their lives/transitions, the invisibility/hostility they experience in LGBT+ spaces, and the complexity of figuring out their sexual orientations. Their names are Victor Thomas, Lucah Rosenberg Lee, and Sasha Alexander. 

Then and Now (2015). Interview with two White Australian trans men named Dale and Andrew. They discuss the specific challenges facing trans men, especially older trans men. They share their experiences of abuse, food deprivation, conversion therapy, and denial of medical care as a result of being FTM.

Finding Kim (2016). Documentary about a White American trans man named Kim. Read website review before watching.

Suited (2016). Documentary about a tailoring business which specifically services trans and gender-diverse clientele.

Transit Havana (2016). Documentary about three trans Cubans, including Juani Santos Peréz, an older trans man who was one of the first people to have sex reassignment surgeries in his country. Highly recommended for insights into the life of an older FTM guy! Read full website review here.

Coby (2017). Documentary about a White trans man named Jacob.

Twiz & Tuck (2017). Documentary series about a gender-variant person (Twiz Rimer) taking his trans male friend (Tuck Mayo) on a road trip, to celebrate Tuck's upcoming wedding. Both are in relationships with women. Twiz speaks about his life with Tourette's Syndrome throughout several of the episodes.

Man Made (2018). Documentary about trans men of many different ages, ethnicities, and backgrounds gathering for a bodybuilding competition. Most of the extensively-interviewed men are in relationships with women.

TransMilitary (2018). Documentary about trans veterans and soldiers resisting Donald Trump's ban on trans servicepeople. Includes trans men El Cook (pictured above) and Logan Ireland.

Ti-gars (2018). Documentary about White Canadian trans man Vincent Lamarre. As with TransMilitary, you'll need to be somewhat comfortable with the military in order to watch this one, although Ti-gars is more about Vincent than the Canadian army which employs him.

Across, Beyond, and Over (2019). Short hybrid documentary about Brit Fryer (a trans man of colour) reconnecting with his ex-boyfriend (a White trans man). The pair dated during school, parted ways and lost contact, transitioned separately, and reunited for this film.

Krow's TRANSformation (2019). Documentary about Krow Kian, a White, gay FTM model. Follows him from his pre-everything stage to his fully-transitioned self.

Unbecoming (2019). Documentary about Logan, a mixed-race trans man with spastic diplegia cerebral palsy, who is also a survivor of sexual abuse. Read website review before watching.

No Ordinary Man (2020). Documentary where trans men of many different ethnicities and backgrounds audition for the role of Billy Tipton. Also includes transmasculine non-binary people.

Our Baby: A Modern Miracle (2020). Documentary where Jake Graf (White British trans man) and his wife Hannah Graf (White British trans woman) connect with a surrogate who carries Jake's biological child.

I am Kai (2023). Short documentary about Kai Clancy, a First Nations Brotherboy trans man who is married to a woman. The pair are also in an open relationship.

FILMS.

Romeos (2011). Trans man (Lukas Leonhard) played by Rick Okon (White, German, cis male actor). Read website review before watching, and read this review of A Good Man (2020), where the two films are compared.

Tomboy (2011). Gender non-conforming kid (Mickaël) played by Zoé Héran (White French actress). Widely considered to be about a trans boy, but that's up to interpretation. Read website review before watching.

The Conductor (2018). Trans man (Robin Jones) played by Scott Turner Schofield (White American trans actor).

Adam (2019). I honestly wouldn't even recommend watching this dumpster fire of a film, except for Leo Sheng's character (Ethan). Definitely prioritise other films over this one, and do read the website review to temper your expectations.

Cowboys (2020). Trans boy (Joe) played by Sasha Knight (White American trans actor).

Dungarees (2020). Gay trans man (Blake) played by Pete MacHale (White English trans actor).

Unsound (2020). Deaf trans man (Finn) played by Yiana Pandelis (deaf Australian actress). Read the full website review here.

Bros Before (2022). Trans men played by Marten Katze (Elijah) and Radcliffe Adler (Billy), both White American trans actors. Very cheesy and indie, but also very fun. Super gay and trans.

Chapter Text

My original guide unpacked the ageism, homophobia, misandry, and transphobia inherent to most cis people's depictions of trans men. I've since received comments, both publicly and privately, from people who have identified racist trends in FTM/transmasc headcanons. Here are some perspectives from people of different ethnicities, lightly edited for grammar/clarity purposes.

This chapter will be updated periodically, as I receive further comments from trans folks who share their experiences with me (and as I get permission to share the comments folks have already made). You are welcome to leave your own comments, if you are someone who has observed racist trends in trans male headcanons. Thank you to those who have already contributed. If you wish to provide a quote, but don't wish to be identified, you're welcome to leave a comment on this chapter and state that you'd like it to be deleted. I can then copy your comment, delete it, and paste the quote anonymously in the guide itself. I will not be turning on anonymous comments, because that increases the frequency of transphobic hate mail and threats (which is why I deleted this guide in the past).

Anonymous:

I know some Asian trans guys don't mind being treated like a fetish by people who aren't Asian transmascs. But it really bothers me. I don't know why it's acceptable to put that kind of content on the internet, over and over and over.

Peachy_Beins:

An aspect I wish to speak on, as a Black trans person who is sick of fandom culture, is the racism. I’ve noticed almost no male characters of colour are portrayed as trans. It’s almost entirely twinky White guys. And, in the rare instance of canon POC trans representation, it’s ignored by the fandom. For example, Paul Strickland (a bigger, Black trans man in his 30s) is straight up ignored by the vast majority of the 9-1-1 Lone Star fandom, but I’ve seen trans headcanons for the cis White guys! Infuriating.

The only other men of colour that get consistently portrayed as trans are East Asian guys, which ties into the feminisation and emasculation of East and South East Asian men. E/SE Asian thinkers have done a better job criticising that than I can.

Cis male characters of colour hardly get portrayed as trans. They tend to be portrayed (in the rare times fandom isn’t ignoring POC) as hyper-masculine dom/alpha cis tops, ploughing a smol White guy. There is hyper-masculinisation of men of colour, particularly Black and Latino men, and other dark-skinned men.

So if, to cis authors, transmasculinity is a mutant caricature of femininity, and men of colour (with the unfortunate exception of E/SE Asian men) are by default hyper-masculine, then their view of trans men is incompatible with the racist, aggressive, predatory masculinity forced on men of colour. Within that fandom perspective, trans men of colour cannot exist. And canon representation of non-White trans men is ignored, because it is incompatible with racist, transphobic world views.

There are some good cis people who write trans guys (and adjacent trans demographics) respectfully. The sad thing is most cis authored works are anti-trans fetish crap. Trans authors are the way to go! But they are drowned out by The Cis.

Anonymous:

On the one hand, there are thousands of cis men who fetishise trans women, and particularly Asian trans women. They cruise for trans women and are often objectifying/dehumanising in their attitudes. Racism and transphobia is often inherent to that dynamic.

On the other hand, there are thousands of cis women who fetishise trans men, and particularly Asian/White trans men, because those are the only ethnicities they feel comfortable emasculating in their racist worldview. Racism and transphobia is inherent to that dynamic. Again, such women are often objectifying/dehumanising in their attitudes, and actively resist any criticism from trans people who feel dehumanised by cis fanfiction.

I used to love Buzzfeed Unsolved, but the cis women I watched it with started making really creepy, inappropriate comments about Ryan Bergara. They kept saying how adorable/tiny/cutesy he was, regardless of the fact that he's actually extremely muscular and a bit of a "bro" type. Then one of them started writing Ryan/Shane fanfiction. Shane (the White guy) was consistently characterised as a dominant top, whereas Ryan (the Asian guy) was consistently characterised as a submissive bottom.

To make matters worse, this White woman started to 'headcanon' Ryan (a real-life adult cis man) as a trans pussyboy, and wrote stories where Shane knocked him up. It was so gross. She showed me these stories, knowing I'm a trans man, as though she deserved a pat on the back for 'including' trans men in her writing. It made me so dysphoric. I told her that she was just fetishising trans men and Asian men, that she was essentially fetishising me, and she got extremely angry. We're not friends anymore. She identified as a progressive feminist, so I'm very wary around cis feminists nowadays, even if they aren't openly TERFs. I have no trust.

I can't watch anything with Ryan or Shane in it, nowadays. They're tainted for me. I never want to come out as FTM, either. Especially to women that are in fandoms. What if the chick I come out to starts thinking of me as a submissive little Asian pussyboy? It's violating. And I can't speak out against this shit, because I'm a man now. And minority men are not believed, especially when we're trying to hold women accountable. It is predominantly women who perpetuate these stereotypes in fandom spaces... so it feels hopeless, for me personally.

silverpolarbear:

I want to laugh every time the official OTW/AO3 twitter account makes a post about centring people of colour. Every single day, cis authors are posting stories where Asian trans men are characterised in racist, transphobic, homophobic ways. You can't have it both ways: You can't be a hands-off platform that allows racist fetishes, but also claim to be anti-racism. If Asian trans men are feeling dysphoric/dehumanised because of a years-long culture on AO3, this is not an anti-racist site. If an Asian man can't appear onscreen without inevitably being emasculated/fetishised/infantilised by fandoms, then those fandoms are not anti-racist spaces.

Anonymous:

According to cis AO3 fangirls, I'm not real. My skin is too brown for me to be transmasc. My sexuality is too straight for me to be transmasc. I'm too old to be transmasc. My gender expression is too masculine to be... transmasc. Funny, isn't it? It's almost like FTM fanfiction has slid so absurdly far away from the reality of FTM diversity that it's a fucking joke. So many different kinds of trans men exist, as with any minority demographic. But (in classic fetishising fashion) we're reduced to a narrow stereotype. No trans man comes out of that unscathed.

I don't even envy White bottom trans men, who do (on paper) fit the fetish that gross fanfic authors appropriate. That's an awful experience too, because bottom trans men are so much more nuanced than cis authors would have you believe (same goes for GNC trans men), regardless of skin colour. I don't want to be fetishised the same way that light-skinned trans guys are. I wouldn't wish that shit on anybody. It's horrible. I want every single trans demographic to be portrayed better. No "type" of trans man should be fetishised. No ethnicity should be fetishised.

The solution isn't to keep writing gross fetishising stories, and just replace fetishised White trans men with fetishised trans men of colour.

chairdesklamp:

As a queer Asian man, fandoms for Japanese works in English are staunchly "about us, without us". You're either a fandom's Most Ignored Person or barraged in flames if you don't bow down to the endless Karen parade that treats you like a sex toy that can be eaten after use.

I've been around since before fanfiction.net split off from Fictionpress. Karen Empowerment is the only thing that matters. I was literally told by TVTropes mods that saying Asians face racism "diminishes the struggle of real people", and trans men/transmasc people are to the orientation axes of oppression what Asians are to race. We all have secret Asian/trans man privilege according to the Very-Progressive-This-Isn't-TERF-Or-Nazi-Logic-Reskinned-We-Swear gang.

I really don't care if my stuff offends queerphobic racists. Critics who see an Asian not being a racist caricature can't stand that I'm writing for people like me. It's funny that they feel uncomfortable when we are not about them--welcome to the bloody club.

Author's note: The above comment has been cut down to focus specifically on issues of racism in fanfiction communities. For a broader discussion (including global histories and recognition of Japanese LGBT+ identities), please see the comments on this chapter.

chairdesklamp (in response to the gallery):

ALSO, SEE BROWN NIPPLES ON ASIAN GUYS. Clearly, the average English fic writer overall only knows Asians through ero videos, where there's pressure to bleach because of ongoing US imperialism, and the White beauty standards that go along with it...

starfireone3:

I love fanfiction. I do not love the way that fanfic treats fetishization as normal. I'm someone who goes out of my way to read fic with genderfuckery. I'm transmasc, I want fic that takes the status quo and fucks with it. But so many fics out there think that fetishizing trans men and transmasc people is fucking with the status quo, and it's actually just a repackaging of stereotypes. You add race in there, and it's painful.

I don't read fanfic for some of my favourite characters because the fanfiction is rife with racism and transphobia and ableism.

Some studies have shown that as many as 1 in 7 of trans people are autistic. Camps for trans youth make sure that their staff are trained on how to work with autistic youth. And the infantilization of autistic people and trans people, and the inherent racism in how people view both groups, is all over fanfiction.

If there is a White male character who is thin and coded autistic, people are going to headcanon him as trans and femme and bottom, even when he's canonically topping a Brown male character. And that character of colour, even if they're gender non-conforming and canonically a bottom, will be treated as an aggro top. It's the convergence of bigotry and fetishization, and it completely alienates me from what would be some of my favourite fandoms based on the source material.

ADVICE.

• Reconsider the FTM headcanons which are popular, and critically think about whether they further racist trends, whether through direct racism or exclusionary character demographics. Consider whether you want to write fanfiction which follows these trends, and the consequences for trans men who will be affected by your work.
• Consider writing trans men of colour, but be aware that (as explained above) substituting one fetishised trans man for another fetishised trans man, with a different skin colour slapped on top, is not sufficient.
• If possible, seek out willing trans men of colour to be Beta readers, if you're depicting trans men of colour in your fics. Before you send your stories to them, however, do your best to ensure you're not sending something which is incredibly stereotyping.
• Avoid fetishistic submissiveness when depicting Asian trans men and light-skinned trans men.
• Avoid fetishistic dominance when depicting darker-skinned trans men.
• Respond to trans feedback with humility, kindness, and open-mindedness. If you are writing outside your demographic, be receptive to feedback given by men and non-binary people within that demographic. Be prepared to edit your fanfiction or take it down. View this as a learning experience and accept that readers have the right to be honest about how writing impacts them.