Archive of Our Own ^beta

After various reprimanding of several prosecutors, filing thousands of paperwork, and reading through multiple cases with an atrocious migraine throughout the day, Miles was extremely glad to finally lie down on his bed. He immediately collapsed on top of it and exasperatedly sighed in exhaustion. 

But because of all the exhaustion, he had completely forgotten the existence of his own husband lying down next to him. He felt a hand on his shoulder and flinched. 

“Miles, you doing alright?” Phoenix gazed at him softly, looking at him with concern. 

Ah. That must’ve been what he’s been so frustrated about. His thoughts throughout the day could think of nothing but how he longed to be in his lover's arms, to let him hold him as his nerves calm down and relax after an exhausting day at work. He has been wanting this the entire day. 

“Yes, I’m quite alright. Just exhausted.” He shifted on his side as he softly gazed back, giving him a soft smile. 

Phoenix released a soft chuckle that made Miles's body heat up in pure joy. He could listen to his man laugh all day. “You want cuddles, don’t you?” Phoenix said, grinning. 

Miles snorted and shifted closer to Phoenix. “And what if I do?” He held his husband's hand and gave a teasing smirk. 

Phoenix gave another chuckle. “Then I’ll wrap around you tightly and squeeze you until I get every bit of exhaustion out.” Phoenix said, immediately wrapping around Miles’ waist, pulling him closer. Miles finally laid his head on Phoenix’s chest. 

Miles closed his eyes and hummed in contentment as he buried himself deeper, snuggling against his husband’s chest, as he felt Phoenix start to softly stroke and rub his hair up and down. 

He couldn’t help but grin widely at the attention. How did he deserve someone as brilliant as Phoenix? What did he do to get to this point with him? 

Perhaps it doesn’t matter now. Phoenix has always been loving despite everything they’ve been through. They’ve reached the point of no return, seeing as they have been married for quite some time now. He could never change that for anything. 

Phoenix finally cut the silence. “How are you feeling now?” Phoenix said, still stroking his hair. 

Miles felt absolutely content and calm. But he still felt exhausted to respond. All he could muster was a simple hum. 

“You’re good? I’ll take that as a ‘you feel nice.’” Phoenix chuckled. 

Miles felt the vibration of the chuckle come from Phoenix’s chest, and chuckled back. He then gazed up at Phoenix. “Can we sleep?” He mumbled. 

Phoenix grinned widely. “Of course we can. Alright, I’ll go turn off the lights real quick.” Phoenix shifted out of the bed and removed his arms around Miles. 

Miles whined at the loss of warmth and pouted as he crossed his arms. Phoenix chuckled at the whine, and swiftly ran to switch the lights off. 

All Miles could do was to patiently wait for his husband to return back to bed. He just wanted nothing more than the comfort of his hugs and snuggles. How does one simply wait?

Phoenix hopped back on the bed as Miles immediately reached out and grabbed Phoenix, eagerly snuggling against him. Which caught Phoenix off guard. 

“Okay, okay, you big softie, I’m here. We can sleep.” Phoenix chuckled, wrapping around Miles once more. “I love you.” 

Miles mumbled his response, “I love you too…” As he let out a long sigh, closing his eyes again. Hearing Phoenix’s heartbeat near his ear, calming as it is, finally drifting off to sleep in his loving husband's arms.  

Suddenly, it feels a bit too dark…

It’s so dark… I can’t see anything…

It’s… it’s so hard to breathe… 

There’s an argument happening… I can hear them arguing…

Father…?

I can’t breathe…

Make it stop…

The fighting… make it stop…

Huh…? Something landed next to me…

Father… he’s still arguing…

Stop…!

Get away from my father! 

BANG. A scream . 

Miles’s body jolted awake, making him sit up on the bed with tears in his eyes. His lungs started panting, his tears started flowing, and his body started sweating. He was trying his best to regulate his breathing, but his breathing felt so short. All he could do was cry and sob, rolling up to cry into his knees, trying his hardest to ground himself. Yet he couldn’t. He couldn’t stop crying. 

His nightmares had slowly stopped months ago, or so he thought. He thought he had gotten better… but the nightmares continued. He thought he had finally made progress, only for it to all tumble down again. 

A familiar voice crept in his mind. A daunting, haunting voice that told him: What must people think of him if they saw him like this? Surely, someone so pathetically weak that he’s still being haunted by a past that had occurred a long time ago. He knows how foolish it is to cry. It is seen as weak and vulnerable. How foolish of him to still be bothered by such an event to this day. 

Yet… he was still crying. He was waiting for the tears to stop flowing, but it didn’t stop. He couldn’t feel it stopping. He just wanted to dig a hole somewhere, lay in the pit and bury himself in it alive. Yes, maybe that’s what’s-

“Miles? Hey, are you okay?” Miles got startled and glanced towards Phoenix. He looked like he had just gotten up, startled with concern. 

…That’s right. He had forgotten about his own husband again. 

Miles choked out a sob. “D-Don’t look at me… I’m really pathetic, aren’t I? You should be laughing at me…” he glanced away and buried himself in his own arms again. 

Miles continued to sob until he felt a hand on his own. Miles glanced back at him, and noticed Phoenix smiling at him. That pitiful... “Hey, it’s okay… I promise, I won’t look. Just come here.” Phoenix said, opening his arms wide. “If you want to hear me laugh, we can do that together when you’re ready, okay?” 

No… that was his sympathetic smile. 

Miles looked back at Phoenix’s eyes tearily and immediately collapsed into his arms. He began sobbing harder, trying his hardest not to make so much noise as he felt Phoenix wrap his arms around him tightly. Phoenix placed a hand on his back and started rubbing soothing circles onto it. 

He took his other hand and carefully positioned Miles’s head comfortably onto his shoulders and proceeded to hold and pat it gently. He let Miles sob hard onto his shoulders as he started grounding Miles by whispering softly into his ear. 

“I’m here… you're here… you’re safe… you’re okay.” Phoenix said as softly as he could. Keeping his voice as calm and as comforting as possible. 

Miles was still sobbing and his tears were still flowing, but his breathing had finally steadied as he eased himself more into his husband's arms. He started relaxing his head deeper into Phoenix’s shoulder from the affection he was receiving from him. 

Phoenix always knew how to comfort and soothe him during these moments. Maybe because it’s Phoenix, but he's never failed in doing so once. 

It made him only wish to remain here for as long as he could. He doesn’t want to leave, and he knows he never will. 

Soon, the tears finally stopped flowing, still remaining in Phoenix’s arms. Phoenix continued rubbing his back, letting Miles relax as much as possible. 

Miles, with a few sniffs, hesitatingly pulled away from his husband. 

“I… I’m sorry you had to see that. It was utterly foolish.” Miles said, glancing away from embarrassment. 

Phoenix put on his soft smile again. “It’s alright, Miles. I’m here for you whenever this happens, okay? That’s why I’m here. You have nothing to worry about.”

Miles glanced up at Phoenix and stared into his gorgeous heterochromatic eyes. He couldn’t help but feel his face warm up at such a sight. Oh, how did he get someone as good as him?

Miles took a deep shaky breath and returned the soft smile. “…Thank you, Phoenix.” he took in another breath. “I love you…” 

Phoenix grinned. “I love you too, Miles. And it’s not a problem at all. I’m just glad you’re okay.” 

Phoenix linked their hands together and started gazing lovingly at Miles. Miles stared back as they continued to gaze at each other for a few seconds, slowly forgetting whatever had happened just a few moments ago. 

As Phoenix hesitatingly removed his hands from Miles, a suspicious mischievous grin formed on his face.

Miles eyed Phoenix suspiciously, raising his brow up. “What are you planning, Wright?” He said, crossing his arms and furrowing his brows. 

Phoenix looked as though he was ready to pounce. He started getting into position, raising his arms up. “Oh, nothing. Except someone’s going to get you in a few seconds…”

Miles snorted. “Oh? And who might that be?” He said, smirking. He knew what was about to come next. 

Phoenix raised his hands up, leaning forward towards Miles. “How about…” Phoenix paused. “The Phoenix tickle monster!”

Miles' eyes widened. “Wait, Phoenix!-” Before he could fully protest, Phoenix was all over him, trying to get his most sensitive tickle spots to get him to erupt in even more laughter. Miles was particularly ticklish, so he kept squirming, kicking, and flailing around, laughing hard as he did so. 

Miles tried desperately grabbing Phoenix’s hand from reaching all the sensitive tickle spots Phoenix knew about. “S-Stop! I-It!-” He said, still laughing. But he knew he could never escape Phoenix’s clutches no matter how hard he tried. 

Phoenix was laughing with him, tickling Miles until they both had no energy left. When Phoenix finally stopped, Miles collapsed on top of Phoenix who also tumbled down onto the bed. Miles started crying again, but this time, from his eruption of laughter. 

Miles started panting and huffing as he threw an arm over Phoenix’s chest. He mumbled “I hate you.”

Phoenix chuckled a loud snort. “Awhh, I thought you loved me just a couple of minutes ago. I love you too, you know?” Phoenix grinned, looking down on Miles. 

Miles snorted. “…You are very utterly ridiculous.”

Phoenix chuckled. “Hey, so are you.”

“I’m less so.” Miles replied with a smirk. 

Phoenix started laughing out loud before grabbing Miles by the waist and pulling him closer. Miles gasped as their faces became inches away from each other. 

Phoenix grabbed Miles' jaw with his hand and tilted it up. “May I?” 

Miles softly smirked. “Phoenix, we’re married. You don’t need my permission to kiss me.” 

Phoenix snorted. “Okay, then.”

They closed the gap, pressing their lips together, feeling more connected than ever. The warmth of it shot all over their faces, as their kiss grew deeper. A kiss showing each other how much they mean to each other, how much they trust each other, and showing how much they love each other. Miles feels incredibly lucky to be with such a wonderful man. 

They finally pull out, becoming breathless from the other. They caught up with each other’s breath until Miles yawned, burying and snuggling his head against Phoenix’s chest once more. 

Phoenix began shifting his body into a more comfortable position, placing an arm behind Miles' back as he began rubbing it softly and gently again. 

Then, Phoenix began humming a lullaby. 

A lullaby he prepared when they first got together. A lullaby that always put him right to sleep, no matter how awake he was. It never failed to help him sleep, especially in Decembers when the nights got really rough. 

It was to the tune of a theme song of a show they used to watch as kids. It was the Signal Samurai, except slower. Phoenix had been trying to figure it out for months, trying to find out ways to ease Miles into slumber easier. 

Once he found out about the slow Signal Samurai theme, he tried it out, and it immediately knocked Miles out. He has been singing it for Miles ever since. And it has never failed to make Miles fall asleep once.

His singing was so sweet, so soft, and so caring. How could he not fall asleep to this?

Phoenix continued rubbing his back as Miles let his eyes droop. He buried himself deeper into Phoenix’s chest, hearing Phoenix’s heartbeat, feeling his chest vibrate with the additional lullaby only making him even more sleepy. He knew he wouldn’t stay awake for any longer. 

The only thing he could muster before ultimately falling asleep was. “I love you.”

And there isn’t any other word he could ever say better to the man he loved.