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Twas the night before New Year’s eve. Félix Agreste paced around in the quiet confines of his bedroom. The steady ticking of the wall clock accompanied his steps, slowly driving him insane. His journal laid open on the desk.
Every once in a while, he stopped, glanced at it and sighed, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. He had done it so many times it resembled the mess on Chat Noir's head, sticking out in every direction.
The journal was filled with memories of the past year. The good and the bad, the ugly.
The unforgettable.
As if he needed a reminder of every instance she had swayed his heart.
February 22nd
After school. I was filling out the paperwork for the spring field trip when the class president, MDC, walked in. There was something she needed to check with Ms. Bustier; whether it was related to the budget of a class party or something else, I do not know, but based on her frantic behavior, it was important.
MDC and I don't interact very often, though she is friends with Adrien, so when she approached me to ask my opinion on flower garlands, I was understandably flabbergasted. But my feelings of surprise were nothing compared to what happened, when I looked up.
When our eyes met, time stopped. To say she was dazzling is an understatement. MDC has always been a beacon of joy, but I believe this is the first time her winsome smile has ever been directed at me. It was a strange experience. I'm not altogether sure how to describe it, yet when I asked my brother if she has ever had that kind of effect on him, he looked at me quizzically and laughed so I have to assume the answer was no.
Aside from that, today was uneventful.
April 7th
MDC straddled me after second period English. She was furious with me, because I submitted our English assignment without her input. Truthfully, slapping her name on the paper was a crude thing to do, and if I were her, I'd be mad too. But father strictened the rules again. Besides, as a native speaker, I reserved the right to correct her mistakes anyway.
She should have been pleased or, at the very least, grateful that I saved her from hours of hard work. MDC excels at many things but English is not one of her fortes. We received full marks. It's understandable why the teacher wouldn't allow her to redo it.
What I don't understand is her reaction. I don't think she meant to straddle me. It was embarrassing and humiliating for both of us, yet if her blush is anything to go by, worse for her than for me.
MDC is attractive; that from an objective point of view. Many boys in our class have, on occasion, expressed romantic interest in her. As far as I know, she hasn't agreed to any dates with anyone in our class.
In a way, that's a relief. I imagine the situation would have been even worse, were either of us involved with anyone.
Blinded by rage, she was oblivious to the compromising position at first. I couldn't help but notice the murderous glint in her eyes, shining above her scarlet cheeks. It was enchanting — no one has ever looked at me like that, with fury coursing in their veins.
I must admit I didn't hear a single word she yelled at me. Adrien suggested later that I was just dazed because something like this has never happened before. I suspect he might be right.
September 3rd
School is torture, though I am still glad that the vacation is over. The last couple of days have been hectic: lots of homework, lots of social interaction. I don't mind the homework; it's other people that wear me down. Today I reached my limit earlier than usual. In the fourth period, French history.
While I was making a memo about the finer details of the events that led to the French revolution, I must have pressed down too hard. The pencil broke and I didn't have another one. Nor anyone to ask, as the new seat chart puts Adrien in the front and me in the back.
Dupain-Cheng, who sits in front of me this year, must have heard the sound and realized my predicament. She let me borrow one of hers.
It was the way she did it that stuck with me for a while. Wordlessly, smiling shyly without teeth. Our eyes met for a moment and it occurred to me that we haven’t exchanged a word since the school year started.
With our increased workload, she seems to be busier than ever. She is still the class president and from what I've gathered from overheard conversations, she is also doing more commissions for that rock star.
It’s somewhat of a pity because Dupain-Cheng is one of the few people in this class who can hold a conversation. Her thoughts captivate me and though we rarely agree, I find myself yearning for more.
Thankfully, we have been paired together for a semester-long history project so there will be plenty of opportunities for us to engage in hopefully pleasant tête-à-têtes. I am looking forward to getting to know her better.
November 9th
The vivid autumn colors pair well with the sweet treats Dupain-Cheng brings to school almost daily. Yesterday, it was pain au chocolat , today it was macarons with chestnut filling, tomorrow who knows what.
She is spoiling us and she knows it. It's impossible to resist her small offerings. I am not alone in this sentiment — Adrien jumps for joy at the frequent opportunities to try new treats, too.
She shared the macarons with me during lunch. Because of our history project, eating together has become a regular occurrence. The deadline is fast approaching and neither of us wants a repeat of what happened in English last spring. Dupain-Cheng still holds a grudge over it.
It was just the two of us today. I originally planned to spend lunch alone in the courtyard, going over my notes. She showed up out of the blue. Even though I told her to go back to her friends AC and NL, she insisted on making sure I ate something, too.
We argued about it for a while but in the end, she won out. I don't think I could say no to her even if I wanted to.
When I made no attempt to hold up my part of the compromise we reached—namely that I would eat at least a little—she force-fed me a macaron. I say force-fed, but even though I wasn't particularly hungry, it was an agreeable experience.
She held it up in front of me, spurring me to take a bite. So I did. She took the opening and stuffed it into my mouth. Her fingers brushed against my lips and tongue, her touch gentle and fleeting.
She tasted of vanilla sugar and something equally intoxicating which I didn't recognize.
It was enough to undo me, and I think she realized, because she retrieved her hand, apologizing profusely for overstepping my boundaries.
The disappointment—and relief—I felt were immense. I wanted nothing more than to bring her soft hand to my lips again, to see if the rest of her is just as sweet as the tips of her fingers.
It is a thought that scares me. I don't know what came over me; it would break my heart to lose her friendship. I enjoy our little moments together too much to risk her favor on a physical urge.
The more time I spend with her, the more I notice the traits that have won over everyone's hearts. I'm not indifferent to her either. Whoever wins her heart should consider themselves lucky.
December 21st
The presentation yesterday went well. Marinette is a naturally good speaker once she gets past her anxiety and I’m not so bad myself. I’m certain we owe our success to her likable character; I doubt I would have done as good on my own. Though she is doing her best in getting me to “hang out” with her and her friends, it’s easy to tell they don’t like me very much.
With our pairwork over, we don’t really have a reason to spend time together anymore. Nevertheless, she comes to sit with me from time to time.
I feel like something has changed. Future seems bleak, even though there’s a party on December 31st that we both have been invited to. She will also be in all my classes after the vacation. Still, I wonder.
Adrien suggested that I get her a Christmas present, as she will most likely get one for me. I’ve thought about it and I think he’s right. I would like to show her my appreciation for all she has done for me this year. But I’m afraid of complicating things between us even further. I’m afraid of making the wrong choice.
Sometimes her proximity drives me crazy. She makes my skin tingle and speeds up my heart; in her presence, I have trouble articulating my thoughts, too distracted by lips or eyes or the way her hand gently brushes against mine. Adrien doesn’t have that problem, neither does NL, though both of them care about her a great deal.
I’m sure I’ll spend the winter vacation thinking about her. Even now, at 2am, she invades my thoughts.
“So are you going to do anything about it?”
Félix’s head snapped up as he came to a halt. His younger brother stood in the entryway, frowning at him.
“How did you get in? I locked the door.”
“I picked the lock,” Adrien grinned. “I saw the light on and figured you’re awake. And I can guess why. It’s Marinette, isn’t it?”
Felix groaned at the sound of her name on Adrien’s lips.
“You’re in love with her,” Adrien stated the obvious. “I wasn’t sure at first but then…”
He glanced at the journal. Félix followed his eyes and nodded, understanding what Adrien was trying to say.
“You should tell her. You’d make a great couple.”
Félix ran his fingers through his hair and let out an exasperated sigh.
“It’s not that easy. She might not return my feelings.”
“There’s only one way to find out.”
Félix buried his face in his hands. Adrien was better-versed in girl matters, having dated a couple of girls, but it didn’t feel great to take advice from his younger sibling.
“If you’re afraid of her rejecting you, then… Kiss her at the party tomorrow. When the clock strikes midnight.”
Félix snorted. “I’ll think about it.”
January 1st
They say that when you kiss someone at midnight, your feelings for the object of your affections will last another 12 months. I believe it to be inaccurate. After taking Adrien’s advice and kissing Marinette at midnight, I came to realize that it’s unlikely for my feelings towards her to ever change. I will always be in love with her.