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A little left of center now

Summary:

Tech possesses an innate need for understanding. As of late, it seems his own feelings are the things he is having the greatest difficulty comprehending. In his quest to achieve the knowledge he seeks about himself and his squadmates, he oversteps an unspoken boundary.

OR

Tech and Hunter are h o r n y , they have a disagreement, and then they talk it out.

Notes:

Yeah, this story's kind of a self-indulgent exploration into some of the possibilities of the batchers' deviance.

Chapter 1: Reflect as I realize

Chapter Text

Let's just say... Tech was sweaty.  He slowed his run to a stop and panted and panted.  The delicious burn of his muscles sent a shock up his spine.  Despite the situation, he was feeling good; he never passed up the chance to appreciate a moment of pleasure, no matter how minuscule and fleeting.  Slamming the release on the door, Tech was already shoving his helmet down onto the cushions of the nearest seat.  It was a close-call once again, but... having lost his pursuers several turns before the spaceport, he was safe here in the Marauder.  Now, just to wait for the others to get back.

"Wrecker?  Hunter?  How are things on your end?" he checks his comm. 

A few sizzles before the exuberant voice of Wrecker crackles through the system, "Yeah, Tech!  It's going great!  Hunter got us some cool new snacks-"

Tech had already stopped paying close attention when Hunter interrupted, "Tech, you sound out-of-breath; what's going on?"

"Nothing of too much concern.  I got separated from Echo-"

"You got separated from Echo?  How is that not 'of too much concern'?"

"Well... we got separated before I - how should I say this - upset a few Nikto street gamblers."

Hunter sighs on the other end of the line.  "And you're sure you lost them?"

"I am certain of it."

"Well, don't do it again."

"I'll try my best."

"We'll be back before too long.  Echo, where are you and Omega?"

Upon hearing Echo start to respond, Tech pressed the mute on his comm to jam his own signal both ways.  Alone time was... rare, to put it gently.  Even if it's only a few minutes, Tech intended to take full advantage of it.  He began to shed armor as he stretched his still chase-warmed muscles.  It'd been so, so long since he'd been alone.  And he... aches.  The aching in his body won't stop, and he realizes he's... warm - his eyes settle downward - warm below the last plate he has to remove.  And once that plate had been discarded into the pile with the others, he didn't even try to stop it.

He pawed and pawed and pressed and explored between his legs.  He had never quite understood the design there.  But who was he to complain when it could feel so good?  Here, splayed out in a chair for the empty ship to see, Tech felt the most like himself.  Perhaps it was a side of himself that was useless as a soldier, but, it was a side of himself nonetheless.  And, right then, with nothing but desire coursing through his veins, he felt good and he felt... sexy.

Sex...  Did the regs engage in it?  He wasn't sure.  Data suggested that clones had been originally designed with a suppressed sex drive, but, he had never much cared to try to prove or disprove that hypothesis.  It's not like he would want to have sex with a reg, anyway.  What, then, would he want to have sex with?  He wasn't quite sure, as he could only think of one person he'd ever engaged in the activity with.  And each time he did, it had just kind of... happened.  

Furthermore, he had never bothered to decide how he felt emotionally about those events.  After all, he blamed it completely on his increased sex drive.  Being the smart one, he had studied data on all of them and concluded that it's perfectly possible his sex drive was something that could have been affected along with his other mutations, though there were no notes in his medical records indicating the possibility.  Even if clones had been designed to be indifferent to sex, well... he certainly wasn't a reg.  And neither was Hunter or Wrecker.  Tech had studied the data and medical records on them also and concluded that Hunter and Wrecker also experienced mutations related to sexuality very possibly as a result of their ability enhancements, although he never found it a pressing enough matter to ask further questions.

Of course, it was obvious to him that Hunter possessed some sort of sexuality mutation from observation alone.  Even if there was only behavior to go by, well, that something that came over him when he and Tech were both horny couldn't possibly be natural.  The way that Hunter would grab him with a crazed look in his normally clear eyes and the way that Tech would immediately go soft and pliant- it's like they were made to have sex with each other.  Tech moans.  Hunter would be back soon.  He had wanted to get this over with, but, as his thoughts wandered, he had begun to ache with a deeper need.  Cursing, he knew his abnormally strong sex drive had truly kicked in, and he wouldn't be able to stop himself from begging... no matter the situation or who else was there.

He also knew immediately when Hunter appeared in the doorway that he wouldn't have to beg.  The taller man's back stiffened, his heightened senses bombarded with Tech's scent.  Hunter let out a low growl before he could bite it back, and Tech thought it incredibly sexy to see someone as composed as Hunter begin to lose control of himself over... over Tech.  A new wave of heat scorched through his body.  With Hunter's keen eyes on him, there was certainly no calming down now.

"Wrecker, why don't you go find Echo and Omega?"

Wrecker glanced around Hunter to Tech and quickly glanced back to Hunter.  Wary understanding and the awkwardness of the situation lit his eyes.  "And keep them shopping?  Yeah, sure."  With that, Wrecker gave a shrug to reassure himself and left.  When the door swished closed behind Hunter, Tech knew he was in for it.  His arousal swelled as Hunter immediately started pulling off armor.  

"Dammit, Tech, you know what you do to me, but kriffing hell this is not the time for this."

"But you'll do it."

"'But I'll do it,' full of facts as ever," Hunter throws on an exasperated face before breathing in deep and sighing.  "Dammit to kriffing hell, Tech, you smell so good."  

Being with Hunter was what was incredibly good.  Really, it was no secret that he cared deeply.  And no amount of instinctive drive to just bend Tech over and fuck him into the console could change the nature of his heart.  He was always gentle.  He always asked questions.  But his mouth was foul, and he was way too good at being sexy.

"So how do you want me to do this?"  He purposely didn't give Tech proper time to respond before he continued.  "I could... leave you where you are and touch you til could cum.  I could tie you face down in this chair and kriff straight into you until I cum.  Or maybe... I could turn this here comm on and let the others hear your screams regardless of what we do."  Hunter smirked, knowing the effect those dirty sentiments would have on an aroused Tech.

Tech knew he had to be dripping by now.  Even his face felt like it was burning up.  Not to mention his insides.

"So... what's it gonna be?"

Tech wrestled with forming words, the productivity of his brain function significantly decreased by the situation.  "I don't care how you do it; just do it already!"

Something about seeing Tech all flustered and needy made Hunter both incredibly aroused and soft-hearted.  "Alright, Tech, whatever you want..."  There was still a smirk on Hunter's lips and humor in his eyes.  He ran a hand down Tech's stomach as a short preamble to moving the hand directly to his genitalia.  Tech cried out.

"You good?" Hunter teased.

Tech glared at him but nodded anyway.  This is the way he liked it and that smug son of a bantha knew it!  His fingers were so good, and Tech was already quickly approaching orgasm when Hunter pulled back.  Tech made a frustrated sound, but Hunter silenced him with a grating look.  

"Do you want to cum now or do you want me to fuck you, or both?"

Tech shivered.  "I- I want you to fuck me.  But don't touch me, or I'll probably cum immediately."  Hunter nodded and gave him what he wanted, yanking down his blacks and lining himself up at Tech's entrance.

"You ready?"

"By the light of 10,000 star systems, Hunter, if you don't- aawghsst!"  Tech had never made that sound.  He belatedly wished one of them was recording this.  Sometimes Tech would wear his helmet and record the audio.  After all, he had such a kink for Hunter's dirty talk.

"You like it when I kriff you.  You know, I can hear you up at night - thinking about me.  I can smell you from across the ship.  And the only reason that I don't go kriff your brains out immediately is because the others would see, and I want to be the only one to see you like this."  

Oh Force, Hunter certainly had a way with words.  As soon as he found out that Tech responded favorably to dirty talk, he had put significantly more effort into discovering what words really got him off.  It seemed that mentioning his own heightened senses was one of those things that made Tech arch into him more desperately, and, the more words he spewed, the more Tech lost himself in his own world of pleasure.  

Hunter could feel his own pleasure curling more persistently in his belly.  It was time to start touching Tech.  He began by rubbing along the line of his ribcage and down his thighs.  There wasn't a whole lot of places Tech liked to be touched, even sexually, but by now he knew the major spots to avoid.  The closer Hunter could feel his own orgasm approaching, the closer he moved his hands toward that bundle of nerves that would surely make Tech cum swiftly.

Hunter panted.  His hips would certainly feel this the next morning.  His own sweat began to smell a certain way, and he knew he was incredibly close.  He took his hand down to those nerves - slick with Tech's arousal - and immediately began to smell another similar scent.  Tech arched and panted and cried out and began to clench around Hunter, which sent Hunter over the edge as well.  Hunter wanted to collapse but forced himself to grasp onto the chair he had thoroughly fucked Tech into.  

He kissed Tech's forehead.  He was so cute like this - for once incompetent and speechless and so, so sweaty.  The fond feeling curled around Hunter's heart.  He was wrapped around Tech's finger tighter than he ever thought he could be.  And he's not sure he wants to be unwound.

"Good?"

Tech had to take a few more deep breaths before he could expel anything discernible.  "Good?  Obviously."  He gave Hunter a look like he was karking crazy.  Obviously, Tech had liked it.  What kind of question was that?

Hunter chuckled.  That was Tech, alright.  "Alright, well, I'm gonna pull out now.  Relax," he added when he pulled Tech's legs up further.  Hunter was right - the overstimulating feeling of pulling out didn't bother him so much in that position.

"Is it alright if I hold you?"

"Yes, please do."

Hunter scooped Tech up in his arms and all but collapsed back into the chair.  It was going to be a long rest of the day after wearing themselves out like that, so the least they could do was sit for a minute before the others came back.

Hunter stroked Tech's forehead, occasionally bringing his fingers back under his nose to sniff.  Tech let him, well used to such behavior and quite enjoying the calming stimulation.  "You're happy," Hunter commented after awhile.

"Well, I would say I am."

"And why is that?" Hunter dared to ask.  He didn't know quite where he was going with this, but he knew what he was trying to ask.  After seeing another look from Tech, he added, "Answer me seriously."

"Well, my answer was going to be serious.  We just had sex and it was highly enjoyable.  Of course I am happy."

Something in Hunter's heart told him that that was not what he wanted to hear, even though he was incredibly happy to hear Tech describe it as "highly enjoyable".  That was high praise from him.  Hunter thought for a moment about how to say what he was trying to ask in a way that Tech might get what he means.  Tech was very... literal.  If he didn't state his feelings plainly, well, it would probably just go right over Tech's head.  

"I mean, are you happy about it just because you feel good or are you happy about it because-" because you love me, he means to say but can't quite get it out.  "-because it was me?" he says instead.

"Hmm."  Tech stared at his hands to think.  Hunter appreciated the thinking that Tech was actually doing.  Tech lifted his head when he had an answer.  "I suppose I am happy about both."

That was a little less assuring than what Hunter was hoping for, but it was honestly a better answer than he had expected.  Tech wasn't known to be super sentimental, but he had love to give, Hunter knew.  One just couldn't expect typical displays of affection from him.  

He didn't like touching much outside of sex, he only believed in the most practical of gifts, unless it was a fascinating rock he had found on a strange planet, and he didn't understand the concept of spending time with anyone for arbitrary reasons.  He had a tendency to isolate and to avoid interpersonal conflicts.  His favorite hobby was recording the sounds of living things for documentation and study.  Many days he argued that he simply didn't have free time for things unrelated to research purposes.  To most people, it might seem like he didn't like anybody.

But Hunter knew that wasn't the case at all.  He loved his squad, and he would do anything to protect them.  Anything logical, at least.  Hunter could see his affection in the "useless" facts that he spilled out on the regular, or the various times he reinforced Lula's stitching when Wrecker was gone, or, especially, the rocks (Hunter may or may not have amassed a small collection of them).  Tech was trying to be affectionate, but his ways were as unique as his mind, and not always obvious.    

Therefore, it was incredibly hard for Hunter to tell if Tech was displaying any extra affection towards him (besides the sex, obviously).  One could have sex and not really care for another romantically.  It felt weird to think of Tech alongside the word "romantically," but, there didn't seem to be a better way to describe what Hunter had begun to feel for him.  So, all of this left Hunter trying to answer the question of how Tech would behave toward a romantic interest.  Was this his way of flirting?  Or did he feel anything for Hunter at all?

He decided not to press it right now.  "Well... why don't we strap the armor back on and call the boys back?  You know we've got a mission tomorrow, we need to get up into hyperspace."

"Sounds good to me."

It bothered Hunter, just the tiniest bit, how the ends of their sexual encounters were so... so... unromantic, for lack of a better word.  He knew they weren't together (had a clone ever even been with another clone?  It probably was far from practical or protocol, but, after all, Hunter was never one to pay much attention to such rules.  What he was good at was following his heart.)  The only reason he always let it slide was that he knew that's just how Tech was.  But he wished there was some sort of something - any indicator at all - to let him know that Tech was emotionally invested - maybe a 'let's cuddle for a moment longer' or even 'your hair looks nice today.'  But no.  Tech was as matter-of-fact as ever.

Hunter ignored the awkward glances when everyone got back.  It's not like they could talk about it in front of the kid anyway.  He wasn't sure whether or not they had already known about him and Tech.  But, also, he wasn't even sure what him and Tech were.  They had never really discussed it... it had just sort of happened.  And now Hunter didn't know what to do about it.  Tech seemed perfectly content to keep it what it was, but for Hunter... something had to change.

Chapter 2: I- I'll bleed

Chapter Text

Something was wrong.  Hunter's nose twitched under his helmet, trying to pick up any trace chemicals in the air that might give him a better hint as to what Tech was feeling.  But all he could smell from him was cortisol, which didn't give him a lot to go by - considering he more often than not smelled of cortisol.  Yet, every now and then, as he sat briefing his squad on the mission, he swore he could almost smell hints of something sweet.  He never bothered to learn all the names of the hormonal chemical compounds.  Why bother when he could just match smell to emotion?  After all, vast collection of seemingly useless information had always been more of Tech's thing.  But this sort of sweet smell... typically meant some sort of sadness.  Even though it was so faint he could almost convince himself he was imagining it, well, something was definitely bothering Tech.

Of course, it didn't take heightened senses to notice Tech's abnormal behavior; it just stood out to Hunter much more than the others, since he couldn't brush off such sensory information.  Anyone could notice, if they were paying attention, Tech's uncharacteristic quietness or the way his posture hangs just slightly lower than he usually holds himself, but, Hunter supposes that the others can't smell his stress or hear the... well, he wouldn't even be able to describe how the heartbeat sounds off.  Nothing's physically wrong; it's not even particularly fast or slow.  But it still sounds off in a way that's as minuscule as the matching sweet smell in the air.  Because Tech hides it well.  He's pretty sure that the others can't hear heartbeats, though he's never bothered to ask.  It's easier sometimes to imagine that such awareness is a normal thing to have.  But, all things considered, Hunter knows that the rhythmic tapping of Tech's fingers against the side of a datapad is secretly a nervous stim he's masking as harmless fidgeting.  And Hunter doesn't intend to ignore it.

As Wrecker, Echo, and Omega file off the Marauder ahead of the two, Hunter hangs back to check on Tech.  Tech, who was distracted enough to still be staring off past Hunter despite the dismissal of the briefing.  "Tech, what's going on?"  

Tech slowly locks eyes with Hunter, straightening himself to his full height, as if challenging Hunter to press further.  "What do you mean?  My assignment was to stay on the ship and run data codes to you from here."

Anyone but Hunter would have believed the calm and poised tone drifting through Tech's helmet, but even perfectly casual body language to match couldn't fool Hunter.  Because Hunter could smell a sharp spike in cortisol as Tech said those words.  It baffled him, actually.  "Tech, what's wrong?"

"I told you, Hunter:  nothing."

Okay, something was definitely wrong.  Tech no longer bothered to control his body language, letting his annoyance and irritability slip through.  "Fine, maybe this isn't the time, but we're going to talk about this."  And with that Hunter followed behind the others, leaving Tech to ponder whatever it was that had him so upset.

*****

The mission was a success for the most part.  Echo got the data that they needed, but the Empire had been alerted of their presence.  They would have to flee - and fast!  They managed to ascend with minimal trouble, but Tech only had time to secure a safe hyperspace route - not necessarily to where they needed to go.  So now, safely traveling through hyperspace, it was Tech's job to secure the coordinates for a planet along their route where they could refuel and repair any damage to the Marauder.  After that, they could be on their way to collect for the data.

"Hunter, have we been tagged?" Tech calls from where he's frantically analyzing data on the star system they're about to be traveling through.

"What?  Why are you asking me?"

"I thought you could sense that sort of thing."

"Not in hyperspace, I can't.  It messes with my senses."

"Oh.  Your medical data did not mention that bit of information.  Echo, why don't you run a scan for-"

"Wait a minute...  You hacked into my medical record?!"

"Well, yes, I did.  Is that a problem?"

"Yeah, it's my medical record!  They're encrypted for a reason, Tech!"

"And what reason would that be besides Kaminoan and Republic security?"

"Tech...!"

"What?  I didn't think you would care."

"Tech..." Hunter sighs, "sometimes I don't know what to do with you."

Tech looks up from his calculations, genuinely confused about Hunter's response.  "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"You know, would you just shut up for once?!  I'm tired of you always having something to say!  Just finish those calculations and mind your kriffing business!"

Those words cut deep into Tech immediately, mostly because it wasn't typical of Hunter to become angry with any one of them.  But Hunter had become angry.  And fast.  And it was his fault.  He had made Hunter angry.  Him:  Tech.  He wasn't familiar with the feeling flooding his chest.  For a moment he thought to check whether Hunter had struck him with his vibroblade... before he realized what he was experiencing.  It was some sort of hurt or upset... similar to the feelings he often encountered before he joined this squad.  He did his best to blink away the gathering tears, but he didn't know why he bothered when it was Hunter he was trying to hide it from.  He knew his helmet hid his face from the others, but, still, he knew Hunter could probably smell him.  He kept his eyes carefully glued to his datapad, thrumming his fingers along the sides of it.

"Yeah, go cry!" Hunter shouted.  Everyone's head turned toward Tech, surprised and shocked to realize Hunter must be right as Tech began to back away.  He hadn't expected Hunter to expose him to the others.  Seeing as he didn't need to stand in any particular spot of the ship to run these calculations, Tech decided to kneel facing away from them all on the other end of the Marauder.  It was easier to reign in his emotions that way.  He was good for calculations - he knew that for sure.  He was good for-  He was good for-  Well, he knew what he wasn't good for.  Apparently being good company was not one of the things.

Having finished a composition of the necessary data, he sent a file to Echo, who quietly acknowledged this development to Hunter, who made no move past a curt nod.  Of course, Tech was not paying attention anyway.  He could hear the whispering on the other end of the ship, but he quite wanted to tune it out.  He had already flattened himself onto the floor in his corner, fully intent on napping off whatever this horrible feeling was.  But Hunter had no such plans for Tech.  He approached carefully within speaking distance and stopped for a minute before saying anything.  It was an agonizing wait for Tech, who couldn't think of even a single reason for Hunter to be this upset.  "I'm sorry, okay?  Let's talk about this when we land somewhere."  Hunter left it at that, and Tech was glad to finally be left alone to cry.  He hadn't cried in years; hadn't really needed to.  And perhaps what hurt more than anything else was that Hunter had been the one to trigger this event.

*****

     "Hey!"

     Tech looked around wildly for the sound.  All the voices were too much.  He didn't need another joining in.  His heart was already pounding.  He needed to get out of here.  And fast!

     But before he even realized it, all the voices were gone.  Except the new one... it was talking to him.  He couldn't see its owner, or, rather, he couldn't get his stupid eyeballs to focus.  Blast this anxiety!  He didn't ask to be different.  He tried harder to focus on the voice.  After several rapid breaths he somewhat managed it.

     "-it's okay!  They're gone."

     Tech couldn't be sure of that.  Not like it mattered now, anyway.  He was already knee-deep in one of his anxiety attacks.  They were becoming more frequent.  He hated it with everything he had.  If this was the price for being smart, it certainly wasn't worth it.

     He flailed his hands out in front of him, trying to find, needing to feel, the person talking to him.  Having found purchase in an article of clothing, he began to tug, not really sure of what he intended to do and not at all in his rational state of being.  The body underneath his hands stiffened and tried to pull back, but seemed to relent almost as soon as the resistance began.  Tech, having been afforded a rare mercy, held on as if his dear life depended on it.  In his head, it did.  Every time he dared to loosen his grip just the slightest to relieve the rapidly growing soreness in his hands, his heart would begin racing anew - as if he were about to be flung from a high platform straight into the hungry sea.

     The person didn't say anything anymore.  At least, Tech didn't think they did.  He couldn't be sure.  Nor could he get a sense for how long this was taking to subside.  Time didn't exactly work with so much adrenaline flowing through his veins.  He fought pitifully against the overbearing urge to run or to kick or to do anything that might relieve this crushing feeling for even a moment.  It would pass.  He knew it would.  It always did.  He would survive this, too.  Probably.  Maybe if it didn't last much longer.

     The person... the person was... rubbing his forehead?! 

*****

When Tech woke up, well... let's just say he didn't expect Hunter to be propped up against the wall across from him, still properly asleep.  They were rather close, and it reminded him eerily of the very thing he had just dreamt of.  Sometimes those days felt as if they had passed.  But it was things like waking right beside Hunter after having such a big fight (if you could call it that) that reminded him things hadn't truly changed at all.  At least, Hunter hadn't.

Having plenty of observational data on Hunter's behavior to draw from, Tech deduced that Hunter's reaction must mean that he had felt hurt too.  He quickly grabbed his helmet and took a thermal still of his own face.  Upon putting the helmet on, his hypothesis was confirmed.  There were fingerprint-like shapes still reading all over his forehead.  Which could only mean one thing.

"Hunter, I know you are awake."

Hunter grunted.  "And how would you know that?"

"Because your fingerprints are still showing on this thermal scan of my face," Tech provided in a matter-of-fact tone.

"And how did you take a thermal scan of your own face?"

Tech's nose scrunched up a bit.  That shouldn't need an explanation.  "It's really not that complex to figure out."

Hunter's eyebrows raised, his eyes still closed, apparently fully content to just keep sitting there like that.  Tech wasn't one for confrontation.  Knowing that, Hunter didn't need any further interaction to tell that Tech was still upset, even angry.  Tech's speech almost never betrayed him, but, when he was seriously angry, he displayed it through passive aggression.  Amongst most clones, something similar to Tech's response would be nothing to note.  But when it was Tech, and his normal speech was so pragmatic and unflappable, it was easy for Hunter to recognize the bile behind Tech's words.

"Look, I'm sorry, Tech.  I shouldn't have-"

"I thought you wanted to talk about this off the ship."  They were still clearly traveling through hyperspace.

"If you want to, I'm willing to talk about this now."

"You haven't slept at all, have you?  Why should I give you the satisfaction of discussing this so that you can sleep, when I am unlikely to gain any equivalent satisfaction?"

Oh, Tech was pissed.  "Ah, well, you don't have to."  Hunter began to curl up on the floor where he was.  And as he did so, Tech moved himself and his helmet over to the other side of the ship, where he could maybe lay his head on Wrecker's leg without waking him up.  Hunter just watched, an unreadable look in his eyes.  Of course, based on the observational data, Hunter was feeling some sort of hurt.  But Hunter couldn't cry.  At least not from this.  His eyesight was too valuable, and emotional crying could be a possible hindrance to his tracking abilities.  Therefore, his neural pathways had been redefined to not send such hormonal compounds to the tear glands.  Of course, only Tech knew that.  Because he had studied the others' medical records in search of strange mutations like his own.  That couldn't be what Hunter was so upset about him knowing, though... right?

Chapter 3: Always known in all my time

Chapter Text

Corvus.  What a backwater world.  But that's exactly why they needed to be there.  Enough civilization to gather supplies, but enough forests to be left alone.  And those forests were beautiful.  Tech was happily the first one off the ship.  He was anticipating Hunter to come gather him after he sent the others off toward the town.  And after finishing his third recording of an interesting tree-dwelling creature, that's exactly what happened.

"Tech."

He whirled around to catch a rather enjoyable view of the one calling him - helmet off, sunlight framing his face, light breeze rustling through his hair.  "Hunter," he acknowledged, rather pleased with him staying right there.  But, alas, he continued to approach and Tech realized he should probably leave his helmet behind for this.  "Would you like to take a walk?"

"You just wanna see the fauna."

"I'm leaving my helmet," he countered as he walked past and put said device back aboard the ship.

"Wow, I'm shocked and impressed.  You must really like me," he teases as Tech re-approaches from the ship.

"Only sometimes," he throws back over his shoulder as he passes, not forgetting his anger from the night before.

"I'm sorry, Tech."

"You already apologized."

"Yeah, but you're still upset.  Obviously there's more to talk about."

"What about if I'm just angry and that's the end of it?"

Hunter sighs.  "But if you were okay with that we wouldn't be out here."

It was true.  The walk became silent for quite a while - Hunter waiting for Tech to direct the conversation.

"Why were you so upset about me reading your medical record?"

"I- there were things I didn't want you to know.  It just... surprised me, is all."

"Well, there was nothing in there that made me think that I shouldn't be reading it."

"Hhhh, of course not."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Why didn't you just ask me?"

"I didn't think it mattered that much."

"So you would be okay if I hacked into yours without telling you?"

"Well, yes.  That's why I thought you wouldn't mind.  I don't know what you think is in there, but I can't for the life of me think of what it was that you did not want me to know.  Have you even read it?"

"Yeah, I've read my own medical data!  They tried to make so many modifications to my endocrine and nervous systems that they kriffed up my reproductive system in the process!"

"They kriffed up mine too, obviously.  Is this about your missing prostate or partially-functional testes?"

Hunter's gait faltered.  "Both," he admittedly reluctantly.

"But... I've had sex with you...  Obviously I would be able to deduce as much without reading your record."

Hunter sighs.  "Sometimes I forget you're the smart one.  There were... consequences to my mutations that they didn't correct before I was born.  I was an experiment, after all.  They probably didn't believe such a problem was worth fixing, since I didn't need it to live."

"While that is unfortunate, at least your testosterone production is high."

Hunter decided to take a seat there, leaning up against a tree.  He wasn't quite sure how to respond to that.  "Yeah, I suppose that's good, but I'm not sure how much better that makes it."

Tech looked around curiously at Hunter before understanding lit his eyes.  "Do you want me to sit there?"

"I guess if you want to."

"Hmm, okay."  Tech settled down in front of Hunter, pulling his knees up to his chest.  "It seems that the intention with your mutations was for your brain to be able to process signals with a higher sampling rate than that of a standard clone, not necessarily at a higher speed or volume.  Essentially, everybody receives the same stimuli you do, but your sensory organs produce a higher rate of signals to your brain, allowing you to pull more information about the stimuli, which is why your senses are so vivid.  So it makes sense, then, why your sex drive could still be heightened despite... your more unfortunate mutations."  

"Yeah?  Well, what's up with yours?"  

"I wish I was fully aware.  Mine doesn't seem to make as much sense as yours."  "Wow, something's stumped you, Tech?"  

Tech looked down and immediately started up the tapping of his fingers against the forearm plate of his armor. 

"Oh," Hunter grimaced.  "This is actually bothering you.  But not just because you can't figure it out.  You're insecure about it," Hunter observed. 

"Well, yes, obviously; I'm probably the only clone without a penis!"

A flame of guilt lit up in Hunter's chest; he hadn't realized Tech even thought about this stuff, much less that he was as bothered by it as he was.  "Hey, even if that's true, there's still plenty of men out there without one.  Besides, since when have we cared about being different?"  

"I understand that sentiment, Hunter, but it's not like you can say anything about it!  You don't know what it feels like!"  

"You're right; I don't.  All I know is what it feels like to be different; that's all I have to go on here."  

Tech's face softened.  "Hunter... I know you're trying to help, but it's just... hard.  I've never known what to do.  My testosterone levels are normal and there's no explanation for it."  

"Even so, isn't that a good thing?"  

"Yes, but..."  

"But...?"  Hunter was trying so hard to understand what Tech was getting at.  Why would that particular bit of information bother him?

Tech's voice dropped to a hesitant whisper, "But why?  How can I be sure... I'm even a man?"  

Hunter sensed the quickening of Tech's heart.  Whatever he had just said meant something to him.  All the humor faded from him.  "A man as opposed to...?  ...an animal, a woman, a droid...?"  

"Actually, yes, but mostly the woman thing."  

"Well..." That was unexpected.  "Are you a man?"  He had never considered that Tech might not be.  But, considering how divergent his brain function was, an unexpected mutation in gender compared to other clones should not be... well... unexpected.

"I- I don't know.  I've never been quite able to figure out what makes a man a man.  Gender is a complicated concept.  Data varies greatly between species, and there is nothing at all documented on clones.  I can only go off human data, and still... how can I even be sure it matters?"  

"If it matters?  Well, obviously it matters to you...!  If you're unhappy, then you should do whatever's right for you to be happy."  

Tech smiled, despite Hunter's misunderstanding of what he meant.  "That's probably the sweetest thing you've ever said to me.  You're incredibly enjoyable to look at when you are being sappy."

Hunter couldn't stop the blush from creeping up on his face.  Tech had never said anything like that to him before.  "Are you calling me cute?"  

"Hmm, I suppose I am."

Hunter's jaw dropped.  Was Tech...?  Tech was... flirting with him?!

But the moment was gone almost as soon as it began, with Tech once again growing serious.  "I had never questioned it much before, but... Omega is a girl... which means that clones are not strictly men.  Which means I could be..."

"A woman?"

"Or something."

"Do you think it's 'or something' or-"

"I don't know."  And Tech gave him a look like he'd never seen on him before.  It was uncertain... and pleading - even more so than when they were younglings.  And that look said something that was hard to describe.  But Hunter found himself grateful that Tech was showing such a great amount of interpersonal trust in him.  He started to realize then that maybe it had always been that way, and it had just taken him until now to begin to appreciate it the way it deserved to be.  He would do anything for Tech, and he sure hoped Tech was aware of that.

"Well, ah, what do you do if you are... not a man?"

"Data shows that most gender-divergent beings go through a process of choosing suitable language for themselves, at least in Galactic Basic.  So, a 'something', as we have called it, might use the term 'they' in reference to themself rather than 'he' or 'she' to help avoid an association with binary gender."

"Does that mean you want me to call you that?"

"Not necessarily.  Like I said, I am unsure."

"But if it would make you feel better..."

"Maybe you could... try it?"  There Tech was again trying to mask his nervous stim.  Usually, Hunter didn't acknowledge it, but this time he gently pried Tech's hand from his armor.  "Hey, it's okay.  What do you want me to do?"  He began rubbing the back of the hand.

"Press harder?"

"Huh?"  At first he didn't realize what Tech meant.  Until he followed Tech's gaze to their connected hands.  "Oh.  Does that feel good to you?"

Tech nodded vigorously, seemingly mesmerized as Hunter increased the pressure as he requested.

"Do you want to keep talking about this?"

"Not if you stop doing that."

"Okay."  Once again, Hunter made the assumption that Tech would speak when he's ready.  And if either of them were needed for anything, their comms would go off.  Hunter concluded that there was plenty of time to wait.

"What is the nature of our relationship, Hunter?"  The question shocked Hunter, who didn't think Tech thought about that either.  He started to think that maybe he wasn't as good at reading Tech as he thought.  "I mean, the current state of our relationship includes elements categorizable as sexual, platonic, and professional.  The only missing category is romantic, but I... don't quite understand it, really."

"You don't understand what, exactly?"

"Observational data shows that humans with relationships categorizable under 'romantic' tend to do things like kissing each other or saying sappy things.  These gestures seem to serve no practical purpose, but, to the contrary, the data shows an increase in the chemical compounds required for emotional bonding in relation to these activities.  However, I do not desire to do any of the things listed with you, except perhaps hand holding.  And now that I think of it, most of the time, I would also not like to do that."

"Well, what you said a minute ago was pretty sappy."

"Yes, I decided to test my hypothesis that you would respond similarly to the known data, since there was previously no known data on clones, and it appears that you have, in fact, experienced this feeling of emotional bonding with me despite the words I said having no clear or set meaning."

"So you didn't mean what you said?"

"Oh I meant what I said.  I just do not understand the requirement for such behavior to initiate the emotional bonding."

"So you want to 'emotionally bond' with me?"

"Well, yes, obviously."

"I'm afraid that's not super obvious, Tech," Hunter responds gently.

"How is it not obvious when I have chosen to spend my time with you?"

"Ah- what?  We all spend our time together...?"

"Yes, but I always allow you to follow me."

Hunter had no idea what Tech was talking about, but he tried to pretend he did.  "Yes, I follow you... but, where?"

"Hmm?  You always follow me.  When I explore past the ship or remove myself to be alone.  You do not bother me, so I allow you to stay."

Well, that gave Hunter a new perspective.  He had never considered that he was being allowed into what Tech considered his personal bubble.  He was just... actually he didn't know what he was doing at all; he was just existing, doing what he does.

"You make me feel better, too."

"Feel better from what?"

"The noises and such."

"Heh, I understand noises."  Then his mind flashes back to all those times he had to drive bullying clones away from Tech when they were younglings.  "I didn't realize that it got to you like that."  He had always thought all of that had only hurt Tech emotionally, however, he was realizing now that perhaps something similar to the overload he experienced was part of it.

Tech nods, pulling his hand back.  "Come on; let's head towards the ship."

Really, there was still a lot more to talk about.  But they could only talk as much as Tech could handle.  On the way back, Hunter continued to inquire about how 'they' pronouns typically work.  Tech explained as much as he could but ultimately the uncertainty came down to whether or not Tech wanted Hunter to actually use them.

"Tech... we don't have to tell the others.  I could just start using them and they probably wouldn't even notice."

"Maybe... or maybe not... I'm happy that I discussed this with you, but... I doubt I'm ready for..."

"Them?  I understand.  You don't want to explain it.  Especially while you're still unsure."

"Exactly!"

"So... what's it gonna be, Tech?"

The poor clone nearly jumped.  "How dare you use those words on me for this!  You'll regret that."

Between Tech's gaze and rapidly changing scent and Hunter remembering the events of the last time they kriffed, Hunter deduced what he had done to trigger Tech's immediate demeanor change.  "Oh, I don't think I will."  Glancing around as they approached the shuttle, he commented, "Hey, the others aren't back yet."

"Well, you better make sure to lock that hatch!  Force forbid Omega finds us."

"The sooner we get on it, the less we have to worry about," Hunter smirked.

Tech shivered.  "Valid point."

And after all that transpired that day, Hunter swore to keep an eye out for opportunities to have more conversations like that one.  

Chapter 4: Like the sun by a star

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Many days into the future, as Hunter lay alone with Tech, he asked:  'Tech, do you want to talk about your pronouns?', because, after all, Tech had never really answered what they wanted to be called.  But Hunter had since been using 'they' in private - just between the two of them.  And Tech had not complained, nor commented on it at all.  A few times, Hunter had asked the same question, and Tech had responded with 'no.'  But this particular time, they had finally responded with a 'yes.'

And Hunter sharpened his ears (as much as he could with already sharpened ears).  Because Tech hadn't been willing to discuss such things since they first brought it up, and, truthfully, Hunter had expected another 'no.'

"I like it when you call me 'they,' but only sometimes, I think."

That wasn't exactly one of the answers Hunter was expecting.  "Really?  Well, do you think 'she' would be better, or...?"

"I don't think that I would like that, nor do I think I am a woman.  Also, I have concluded that I am not happy with my genitalia, but I am content with the rest of my sexual characteristics.  I think perhaps if I am discontent with something it is my deviant nature in general."   

Huh? Hunter thought, horrid understanding starting to creep into his brain.  "You aren't... happy with yourself?"  

"Hunter...  You know how they treated me...  How can I not wish that it hadn't've happened?"  

"But... you're amazing."  He knew it wasn't much consolation, but... it was true.

"And if I wasn't so 'amazing' they most likely would have treated me with more respect."

"That might be true, but it doesn't mean they're right."

"That is also true, but I have anxiety, you know; it is harder for me to-" 

"Most of us have anxieties; you just have to-"  

"No!  There is a psychological condition of the brain that causes decreased regulation of stress hormones-"  

"Is that why you always smell like cortisol?"  

"Probably - I do not know - I always was an anxious mess and if you cannot see that then you are not aware at all."  

Hunter was aware of Tech's anxiety, for sure.  He just hadn't known that was what it was called.  But he had always known.  Still... he didn't like the way that Tech talked about themself like that as if it was the only thing about them.  Who did Tech think they were?  

"Tech... but you're much more than 'an anxious mess'."

"And where exactly would one find such a quality?"

"Ah, well, you really want me to go on about you?"

"I'll wait."

"Ah.. okay.  Well... I mean, you're probably the most thoughtful person I know, besides Wrecker, collecting data makes you happy, your favorite type of biome is rainforest, you miss Crosshair and Kamino despite what both have done to you, you hold the majority of your emotions deep inside, and you only let the negative ones show in the form of light passive aggression and sarcasm.  I know you don't like casual touches on the regular, although you seem fine with me touching your forehead, you often wander off alone when the rest of us argue, you certainly never participate, and you probably think that no one even notices your absence, but I can smell your sadness from quite a distance away.  Most people peg you as a loner - and in the case of those assholes, various horrible things - but you're not how they see you at all!  You long for connection more than any of us, but you can't seem to figure out how to do it without compromising who you are.  But if I'm wrong about something... please tell me now... so I can understand better."  

"Ah, well, the problem with that is that you are right... I didn't think you were aware of all that."  

"Maybe that's my fault," Hunter sighed.  He should really make an effort to communicate more effectively.  "Look, there's nothing wrong with you, Tech-"  

"How can you know all of who I am and say that?  There is nothing remotely desirable about-"  

"Tech!  That big brain of yours has a major overthinking problem!"  

"That's... part of what comes with it."  

Hunter softens.  "Forgive me, Tech... I- I didn't realize all that you're going through."  

"Well, I didn't want you to know."  

"Why is that?"  

"I suppose I didn't think you could like me if you knew all that, but it turns out you seemed to know me pretty well beforehand."  

"Tech, you know I've never thought any of those things the regs told you."  

"No?  But sometimes I do.  They- they called me a freak, Hunter.  Is that not true?  Even you get angry at me."  

Hunter really regretted what he did that day after the data mission.  He didn't realize at first how deeply it had affected Tech.  "Tech, that's completely my fault, I should not have said that or yelled at you.  I'm sorry... I made you feel like they did," he realizes with horrible pain in his heart.  "I don't think that about you at all."

"Then why would you say it?"

That... was a great question.  But wasn't it normal, no matter how horrible, to say things like that when you're angry?  "I promise you, Tech, I only felt that way when I was angry.  I was reckless and didn't think through how you would take it."

"But then you told me to 'go cry,' which indicates that you were okay with the fact that I was upset."

"I also... only meant that in the moment.  Of course I don't want to make you cry."

Tech gave a look of confusion.  It was obviously going to take them some time.  But it was time that they deserved, after what Hunter had done to them.

"Can I ask you a question that might be a little late?"

"Proceed."

"Why were you looking through my medical record, anyway?"

"Not just yours. All of ours, except Omega, who has no record, of course."

"Of course," Hunter had to try hiding his grin, because Tech said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  "So what were you researching?"

"Our mutations.  Specifically, if any of you shared similar reproductive system mutations to myself."

Tech... had been trying to see if they were the only one?  The more Hunter understands, the more he regrets his actions.  "I think I owe you an apology."

"You have already done that multiple times."

"But this time I'm talking about how I reacted without even asking why you did it."

"It doesn't matter.  I upset you and-"

"That's no excuse for me to react that way.  You deserve better."

"I would have to disagree."

Hunter sighed.  "Tech.  How about we just agree that we upset each other and we work to be better at communicating, instead of arguing and only talking about things somewhere between once and never."

"That... is probably a good idea."

"So... do you want me to call you 'they' sometimes and 'he' other times, or...?"

"Essentially, yes.  Don't think I didn't notice your aversion to referring to me in front of the others.  While it was appreciated, it is now unnecessary."

"Do you want to tell them?"

"Maybe?  Not yet."

"Okay."

"Let me start with you."  Tech looked down, uncertainty taking his gaze.

"Of course."  Hunter could've gone for some cuddles right about then.  But, as he'd learned the hard way a couple times, it was best to ask beforehand.  "Tech... can I hold you?"

"That is... not preferable."

"Alright."  Hunter would have to settle for relaxing in Tech's close proximity.  Even so, after several minutes of comfortable silence, Hunter could feel Tech's foot nudging his own, and he decided to take it as a sign that their relationship could be stronger yet.

 

 

 

 

Notes:

Stronger, as in, they could communicate without blowing up at each other.